#my aphantasia makes it harder

[mutedeclipse]

Every time i try to find him a voice none seem to fit. I dont know how he should sound. He has an exact voice to me. Ive never heard it, but i know it. Ive never heard it.

Maddening phenomenon.

[bombusbombus]

recoloured this old warmup to repost cause I had it on my mind.

If Clark is going to be in earth 19 (gotham by gaslight universe) (they're publishing more gbg and clark is going to be there), then listen to me listen to me, he needs to be a cowboy. Superman needs to be a cowboy in the big city. I am SOO serious about this. I am on my knees, DC, let me write for you, I would add so many themes about modern technology versus traditional knowledge and sprinkle in some anticolonialism PLEASE.

You could have a cute little Daily Planet that has to struggle against yellow journalism in a smoky little backroom & setting their own type, a la The Truth. You could have gentlemen's clubs. You could have a brutal war against unions in the streets and one lone titan of industry giving into their demands. You could have the exact same 3 batkids from the movie, there's literally nothing to improve on there. You could have Clark tear down a barbed wire fence with his bare hands, in a futile attempt to unravel colonialist ideas of private land ownership. Imagine the alien knows more about the earth, the real earth, than the knight in his city does. Imagine the American dream failing Clark, who has to go back east to the big city, failing Bruce, who lost his parents, failing everyone over and over until they decide to build something without it. In an era of rampant exploitation, what do real heroes look like?

Or you can make the justice league fight big steampunk robots ig I'm excited either way.

[bobendsneyder64]

This is so weird. I just found out, through a random instagram story, that I have a condition called Aphantasia. This means that I cannot see mental images. My brain is just words, I never see anything. I always thought that that was normal and thought that the people who could see stuff were special. Guess it's the other way around. Huh, this is a really weird day

[sableeira]

having aphantasia means I’m not plagued by images in my brain but at what cost

[sleepytoycollection]

One Way to Repair a Broken Doll Arm

Today I'll be walking you through how I repaired this Ever After High Lizzie Hearts doll's broken arm. While I wouldn't call this a fool-proof method, and I'm not sure that this repair would hold up to being played with, if you've got a beloved doll you want to repair, this should be just fine for a doll that's mostly going to be displayed.

The best part is, this will retain the articulation of the arm and/or knee (this method will technically also work for knee joints, though knees are harder than arms to work with). So let's jump in.

Tools required: Craft Knife, Jewelry pliers, Wire (gauge depends on size of joint), Super Glue, Hot Glue, Patience.

Let's start with our patient.

I thrifted this Lizzie doll a few days ago, along with a Venus McFlytrap, as shown in the above image. As soon as I saw the taped up arm, I knew the joint was broken, but hey, she was like 80c USD. I can apply some elbow grease for that cheap. Plus it gives me an excuse to finally make this tutorial.

They went a little overkill with that much tape, but whatever works?

I cut the tape off carefully with a craft knife. I didn't take a pic of that, but I think you can image what a broken doll arm looks like. Unless you have aphantasia I guess, but that's getting off topic.

First thing I did was use the craft knife to slice along the seam lines, then pried the upper arm open (slowly. seriously go slow.) with a pair of jewelry pliers. It will leave marks on the plastic, but I can buff those out later.

Why am I doing this if the arm's already broken? I want to remove what's left of the peg that's in there. You could also drill it out if you have a dremel, but I wanted to avoid this tutorial needing power tools.

So here's the arm, pried open, with the peg removed.

To close it back up, I used a tiny bit of acetone to melt the plastic at the seams, then held it together until it hardened enough to stay in place. Leave it for a few hours to make sure it's all fully cured, then you can sand the area smooth.

And here's the arm with the broken peg.

So what now? We need to remove the peg piece that's attached to the elbow. I couldn't get a photo of that since it's a delicate process and I only have 2 hands, but here's an artist rendering that would give you the idea.

Take a craft knife, and SLOWLY. CAREFULLY. cut into the ring that surrounds the elbow joint. YOU DO NOT WANT TO GO TOO DEEP, TOO QUICKLY. YOU DO NOT WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY CUT THROUGH THE ELBOW POST. Just go nice and slow. Just chip a little out at a time until you get to the center.

Use pliers as well to pull out the rest of the bits, though you might have to cut a good bit out before you can pull the rest out.

As for my doll, the operation went successfully.

This is what the elbow looks like with the joint peg removed.

Now we've gotten past the hard part, we'll cut off a few inches of wire and string that though the elbow joint. Once through, we'll twist it until it's reasonably tight to the joint. If that makes sense.

It should look like this. Give it a test fit and cut the wire shorter as needed so there's no gap in the joint.

My test fit. Yep, I recycled this for the top photo as well. The blue is just painter's tape.

If you find you can't get it tight enough, and it feels too loose, I'd add a drop a super glue in there. Just keep moving the joint as the glue dries, and it'll add some friction so your arm will hold a pose.

Speaking of glue, I also add a dab of hot glue to the top of our new peg. The coating will add thickness that will help it stay in the upper arm. Tape works too, but hot glue holds up better.

Here's our newly repaired arm back on the doll. Aside from a slight glimmer of silver, the repair is not very obvious I think.

Lizzie can now enjoy having two functional arms again. Whoo-hoo.

While not 100% a beginner repair, it's not particularly difficult either. Just takes some patience and a reasonably steady hand.

Before I go though, some disclaimers/notes: Some wires can rust overtime, so keep an eye on your doll to make sure the wire isn't degrading and discoloring them.

Also, if you do a repair like this, then sell the doll, do let the buyer know. I feel like I shouldn't have to say that, but don't be one of those sellers okay?

This same method can be used for knees, but thighs tend to be made of a harder plastic, and it can be more difficult to pry them open to take the old, broken peg out with out major damage to the upper leg.

Good luck with your repairs! Love y'all. c:

[kyoshitargaryen]

shifting tips for neurodivergent shifters!

shifting tips for autistic people, and for those with ADHD and OCD! for scripting ideas, click here! (coming soon!)

hey, everyone! I'm autistic and I have ADHD and OCD -- all of these things have greatly impacted my journey. these are some of the things that have helped me progress with shifting and with getting to a healthy place mentally in general. note : I have aphantasia, so any time I mention "visualizing" it moreso means thinking of it. instead of seeing "visualizing" as something you can't do, put it into perspective of the things you CAN do. if you can daydream, you can visualize, even if you're not physically seeing anything. don't let it stop you!!

tips!

don't think that you can't shift while autistic. I've done it, and you will too if you haven't already. the only thing that could stop you is your own lack of belief.

if you're like me, you take everything extremely literally. that makes understanding what people -- especially neurotypical people -- mean when they give advice difficult and even harder to apply. here's some things that I've realized about common shifting tips.

5 Senses Methods

I've noticed that some people who talk about "using" your senses, don't exactly mean to use them or to force them. for the longest time, I kept getting so caught up in trying to force the experience that I was keeping myself from shifting entirely instead of trying to physically hear something, or taste or smell or feel, focus more on understanding how those senses work. you probably know the taste of your favourite soda. you probably know what steak or chicken tastes like. you know how when you have your mind set on a particular dinner or drink or experience, you HAVE to have it or else you won't be hungry or thirsty or excited? you KNOW what those things taste like. you KNOW what you expect, all while not physically having those things in front of you. try living in that expectation, in the knowledge and understanding of what you're going to get. this also works with general manifestation! think about what you're wanting for dinner tonight. think about your dream vacation destination. just lightly imagine it. you might be able to almost taste it now. you might be able to almost feel the wind on your skin, or a light rain, or warm sunshine. try approaching shifting like that!

I struggled for the longest time over letting myself move when I go to shift. Feeling symptoms go away just because I had to move or twitched unconsciously was so frustrating. I actually forced myself to lay perfectly still on my back even while feeling physical discomfort and pain. yes, I understood that you can move, and that you don't need symptoms to shift, but I was so caught up in feeling the transition and in my body in general that I found it impossible to let go of control like that. when I first tried focusing on the position my body would be in in my desired reality, I focused way too hard on feeling it. and I'll be honest, forcing myself to feel the physical sensation of laying down in a different position did work. I really did feel it. It just didn't help me shift. and obviously the moments where I would become more aware of my body in this reality or I needed to move were practically devastating. but then something clicked. I was so busy trying to feel my whole body in my desired reality that I was only grounding myself in this reality, and I was slowing down if not outright stopping myself from shifting. you know how you breathe automatically until you are suddenly reminded that you have to breathe to survive? or how you don't necessarily feel your knees or your toes until you think about them? you're only aware of the parts of your body that you are actively interacting with. our minds are trained to tune out a large amount of the sensory information going on in our bodies. imagine how exhausting it would be if you had to manually pump your heart. you probably don't feel what you're sitting or laying down on after you've been there for a long period of time, unless you're actively feeling discomfort or pain. take a moment to take stock of your body. now that you're aware of it -- you probably feel so much more than you did a few minutes ago when you weren't thinking of it. keep that in mind! now pay attention to the places your body overlaps. right now, my elbows are on my lap, and my ankles are tucked under my thighs. the places where your body overlaps are the easiest things to focus on and remember. picture yourself in the passenger seat of a car. you're tired, so you're leaning down on the centre console. your head is tucked into your elbow to shield your eyes from light. focus on the parts of your body that overlap. you KNOW how it feels to rest your head in your elbow. you likely know how it feels to sleep in the passenger seat. instead of trying to pay attention to your body as a whole, think of these little contact points. do this for a few minutes, and I guarantee you that you'll eventually begin to actually feel it, or at least, you'll forget about your physical body in this reality. don't make yourself feel this things, just remember how it feels. this way of aligning myself to my desired reality makes the process go by so much faster. once I feel comfortable remembering how my body would feel in that position, I move on to other things. I remember how it would feel to have my fingers run over the seatbelt or the buckle. I remember how the blinker or the windshield wipers sound. slowly but surely, these things build up and then you're not consciously thinking of them anymore, you're just there. but the best part of it? it's so easy to get myself back into the "zone" if I move in my CR. since I'm not trying to feel a whole environment and my whole body at once, I'm able to quickly and easily remember and experience the position I'm in in my DR. I don't worry about symptoms, or even actively notice them. I'm just there. once I have put my focus on those few contact spots, I'm in my DR. then, it's just a waiting game for when I can open my eyes. I'm in no rush, because I'm just relaxing!

Staircase Method

don't worry about visualizing the perfect space. I was so caught up in making sure the amount of stairs I was walking up or down matched the environment I was thinking of. don't worry about that. the only thing that matters is getting yourself to a point where you're relaxed and you can let go of your original reality. I kinda see shifting as removing velcro. your consciousness is velcro'd to this reality, especially when you're inexperienced with shifting, have doubts, or are going through a slump. the deeper you get into a method, the farther you get from focusing on your CR (the fact that you're still there, that you still feel your body, that you still hear and smell your CR environment), the more the velcro releases. if you try to make everything perfect, you're only making yourself realize that you're not actually in your DR, that you're just doing a method. instead, just focus on knowing how it feels to walk up or down stairs. don't worry about a length of time, or the number of stairs. don't worry about any turns or bends, just go straight up or down. once you feel like the "velcro" of this reality has released, you're ready to enter your DR.

Counting

at the beginning of my shifting journey, I was obsessed with making sure I counted correctly. if I accidentally skipped or repeated a number, I would get so frustrated. don't worry about being accurate or perfect. the sun does not rise and fall on your ability to count on endlessly. focusing too hard on counting will just keep you from becoming aware of your DR. again -- try not to focus so hard on the process of getting to your DR, try to just focus on being in your DR.

Just BE in Your DR (or, Let Go of Control)

I have two ways that I love to describe this;

it's like driving a car. when you've reached your destination, you put the car in park, you turn it off, and you get out. you don't drive past it, or keep hitting the gas, you don't assume that you haven't made it yet. you just know you're there.

it's like trying to fall asleep. you might be counting sheep, or daydreaming, or thinking about what you want to dream of, but you're NOT thinking about how to get home, you're not thinking about changing your clothes, or brushing your teeth, or doing your nighttime routine. you're just there, in your bed, waiting for sleep to take you. you know there's nothing left to do but sleep. so let yourself exist in your DR. think of methods as a way for you to pass time in your DR rather than a way of getting there. you're on a long car ride, or the hogwarts express, or in the middle of a lull hour at your job. you have freetime, so you just keep your mind busy enough to be entertained (and possibly ready to go if you're needed). just relax. you're there. you're just don't need to be "on" right now. think of how you mask in social situations, but you unmask when you're by yourself or you're somewhere safe and comfortable. your mask doesn't need to be on! your customer service voice doesn't need to be used. think of it like being idle in a video game!

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

especially when I go to shift, I get intrusive thoughts. what if everyone hates me? what if my s/o cheats on me? what if I somehow cause a sequence of events that gets someone or an animal hurt or killed? it doesn't matter if I have things scripted to prevent all of these, my brain thinks them anyway. intrusive thoughts don't bend to logic. so don't try to use logic to fight them. it's gonna sound kinda crazy, but just think the opposite every time they come up. thoughts are just thoughts. even the ones that seem really scary and really powerful.

Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.

as much as I dislike Dumbledore, he kinda ate here. it's the same thing with thoughts -- if you have an intrusive thought, immediately combat it with the opposite sentiment. it might seem ridiculous or pointless at first, but I promise you, it will work eventually. this has been my favourite way to heal through my anxiety and my ocd. no, it doesn't go away, but I've learned how to manage them, and how to stop fearing them. they're just shadows, and all they need is light to be driven away. have you ever done or said something ironically or as a joke, and then somehow over time it became a genuine part of your personality? that's because your brain is even more literal than you are -- it can't tell when you're doing something as a joke, it just knows that you ARE doing something. that's what "fake it until you make it" is all about. it's how I've completely transformed my world, manifested physical changes, created a better self image and grew my confidence level. one day you'll be thinking poorly of yourself, but then eventually, once you start actively fighting against those thoughts, your brain catches up to them and believes it as fact. that's the magic behind affirmations! don't think you can only use them to shift or to manifest. you can use them just as effectively to make changes within yourself!

that's all for now! I hope these tips help you guys, because they really have changed both my life and my shifting / manifestation journey for the better.

yoshi !!

[diodellet]

try wishing for it: magical girl au ~author's note~

warning for: Puella Magi Madoka Magica spoilers and more yandere headcanoning

Read the fanfic first before you spoil yourself on my rambling 😇

I did not expect to be able to transition from draft to posting that quickly for a fic of this length (or maybe it just felt faster because the stars aligned for my motivation and brainworms to work together? who knows)

Will I ever continue this AU? Maybe if I get clubbed in the head by more Scarabia brainworms, I might write oneshots/short scenes, but I don’t see myself writing for any of the other twst charas.

Anyways onto the ramblings galore:

Inspirations:

The verse that the fic’s title is ripped from goes: “Saying, ‘it’s like magic!’ / immersed in this sensation, even if I try wishing for it, / I know it’s nothing but playing with dolls //” (tl credits to Releska).

Tbh, analyzing poetry/song lyrics isn’t my biggest strength, but I know that Mahou Shoujo, as a genre, tends to touch on themes of adolescence like innocence vs. jadedness in the face of the real world and its many issues, just stepping into and growing out of adolescence as one of those uncomfortable transitions in life.

Stepping into young adulthood is scary, and most people my age don’t even know what the hell they’re doing. So for Reader, I gave them that highschooler-trying-to-be-capable-and-mature persona, with a tinge of anxieties that a young person would have.

*I’ll elaborate more on the Puella Magi inspirations in a later section, but yes, that was also a major inspiration for this fic

Vagueness:

Compared to my usual long-winded writing style, this fic ended up a bit more short and ambiugous in its prose. Partially because I didn’t want to procrastinate on writing this by rewatching my favorite Mahou Shoujo franchises.

(but also mainly because partial aphantasia lets gooo, detailed visuals are not my strong suit, I’m leaving Reader’s outfit and weapon blank for people to insert anything they’d like)

I mainly wanted to emphasize the character moments between Reader and Kyubey!Scarabia, which ended up becoming more conflicting and interesting than I initially drafted.

(It helps that Jamil is a shady guy, he set up the foreshadowing on his own. Kalim on the other hand, my god, maybe it's just me but I had a harder time characterizing. Why is he so loud and friendly, it makes his manipulation so much more covert grr)

Gold (and Red, I guess):

I lied, there was one visual aspect I wanted to highlight throughout the story, which were Scarabia’s trademark colors of gold and red. Anything gold mentioned in the fic is traced back to them. So every moment of Kalim and Jamil using magic, Reader’s magic, the bangle that Jamil gifts them, the wraith in the beginning having a (formerly) gold collar. (I would've added a description of something gold on each wraith, but I didn't want to be too heavy-handed with the repetition.)

(yes i had thoughts of jamil just giving them a golden collar…but ooo…held off on that instead, it could be a standalone what-if scenario…a corruption arc premise…ooo…someone remind me about this, i might forget)

I also mention jamil++the color red in this fic because I had to put Snake Whisper in, I can’t not 🙈

(that bit of kalim’s healing magic was me trying to make a reference to Oasis Maker, it feels a bit scuffed to me, but i don't think he’d ever get the urge to drown the world. truly sunshine boy's such a covert yandere it almost made me tear my hair out)

Kyubey!Scarabia, Some Difficulties and Omissions:

In Puella Magi, the little satanspawn named Kyubey is actually short for “Incubator,” who hails from an alien civilization tasked with preventing the heat death of the universe. Turns out the emotions of teenage girls is a very potent energy source. So he turns girls into magical girls to fight Witches and when those magical girls succumb to despair, they become the very thing that they fight against, producing vast amounts of energy for them to use.

(Though I changed it from ‘Witches’ to ‘Wraiths’ for this fanfic. I also did away with the Witches’ Labyrinth to lessen the amount of exposition. I jus think Witches work better in a visual medium.)

Another standout characteristic of Kyubey is his eerie sense of apathy to the characters’ suffering, which was Difficult to incorporate into Kalim since that guy’s got buckets of empathy. Until I realized that i could spin this into a kind of “warped” love.

Kalim loved each and every magical girl that he’s worked with, and of course he gets sad that they eventually become a wraith. But as an Incubator, his grieving is more akin to a rich person feeling sad over the death of a pet. He’s very quick to turn his attention to the next shiny thing (that’s you/Reader! Ain’t that great!🥴)

Also @jessamine-rose gave me this hc of Kalim amassing little trinkets from every magical fighter, like a ribbon accessory or a piece of their wand, collecting these little charms. Just, the idea of him saying that he’ll cherish Reader’s own treasure, and the way that could go from reassuring to chilling. (now i’m spreading that hc to yall instead of pingponging it in my brain😇)

On the idea of Jamil and love, I think he just loves holding power over magical girls #MegalomaniacThingz (ignore that growing fondness in the fever scene, he was just playing the part of helpful familiar or sumn /shrug)

There's definitely room for some kind of intense fascination to reader, knowing that they surprised him with their resilience. Yeah sorta like Tokyo Mew Mew's Ichigo and Quiche...

(i was crying so hard at having to axe forehead kissies for the second time, but it was a necessary omission😔)

Misc. Extras:

As a palate cleanser, just imagine plush ball!jamil carrying a plastic bag twice his size… (i was struggling with the dialogue during that fever scene, this was how i kept myself from spiraling too far)

In line with the genie of the lamp story, Kyubey!Scarabia gets the three wishes for their magical girls, with the third wish eventually corrupting the magical girl into a wraith.

I guess the other dorms would have something unique for the magical girls that they create? (not having wi-fi for the past few days gave me some half-baked ideas)

Like Heartslabyul imposing a rigid set of rules on their magical girls, which are of course rigged against the inherently flawed nature of humans and their emotions.

Savanaclaw and Pomefiore are similar, you fight until you can’t. Or in Pome’s case, you fight until you become an unrecognizable monster.

I imagine that Octavinelle and Ignihyde are the most similar to the original Kyubey of Puella Magi. You make a wish, fight the wraiths, reap the consequences of a wish, and eventually succumb to the vicious system they have laid out. Only Octavinelle’s version is Sayaka Miki-core, while Ignihyde’s plays out like a video game-ified version of Hercules’ trials. (Also, Ignihyde deffo keeps a compendium of each magical girl and wraith).

For Diasomnia, it could kinda follow Sleeping Beauty's plot, where there's a curse that the magical girl has to work against, while being aided with blessings from the fairies/Malleus' retinue (tho in this case, i guess Malleus ends up being revealed as the one creating the wraiths?)

tl;dr: This fic was so fun to write, I can almost forgive the usual agonies that plague me. I'm a writer who heavily prefers soft worldbuilding. Scarabia makes me so ill.

tagging: @viperwhispered @twstgo

[roachemoji]

A “Guide” to working with Artists with Aphantasia

DISCLAIMER: 

I KNOW ARTISTS WITHOUT APHANTASIA ALSO USE REFERENCES

This is not going to be applicable to ALL artists (with OR WITHOUT aphantasia)

I don’t speak for everyone!!!

PLEASE Read the information artists provide you THUROUGHLY

ASK ARTISTS WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION THEY NEED

I’m sorry about the typos I am dyslexic and no one is beta reading this :3c

HERE IS THE OG TWITTER POST

I made this guide out of frustration. I was having a hard time communicating with commissioners how much visual information I needed, and that giving me creative freedom doesn’t, personally, work for me. It all comes down to the why; Aphantasia. 

... I realized a lot of people don’t understand what that is, and how it might affect an artist. 

Note: I am a character artist!!! I do personal commissions!!!! I don’t do commercial work!! This guide is about things that I have found extremely helpful!! This may not work for everyone!!!!!!!!!!! 

So, here is the official written guide to what I, personally, have found helpful when getting commissions:

A healthy dose of both written and visual information is needed, but the percentage of which heavily depends on the type of commission and how familiar I am with the characters. 

- Is it an illustration of a scene between two character? Descriptive information on the scene, the emotions, general vibe, dialogue are more important to the composition - but visual references on each character (and their characteristics), the space, the palette, and any objects would be needed. 

- Is it a reference sheet commission? Descriptive information is no longer as important, and the main focus is on the visuals. Descriptive information would be limited to a brief description of personality, placement of certain markings, and/or the written information on the reference. Visuals would be EVERYTHING - every single aspect of that character would need a reference. 

Google Docs, Google Drives, PDFs, Character pages (Toyhou.se or Refsheet.net) is an easy way to compile both written and visual information in one place! 

What is some good visual information to compile for your characters? 

Physical

Age/Race/height/body type

Skin colour/ scars/ freckles/ skin conditions etc

Eye colour/shape

Nose shape

Hair colour/texture/style/decorations

Any additional details (prosthetics limbs/no limbs!/tattoos/piercings/wings)

Face Claims are extremely helpful - and it’s okay to have more than one!  It’s good to specify which parts of what reference are important to your character

Items

Clothing/Jewelry/Accessories

Weapons

Personal Items

Companions

Here is an example of how I organize my Pinterest boards for my own Ocs:

Appearance: Every single visual reference I would need for their physical appearance. Faceclaims, hair styles/texture/colours, facial hair, body types, hand shapes, nose shapes, lip shapes, eye shapes

Aesthetic: Helpful for illustrations. Palettes and aesthetics that I attribute to these characters. Art styles, symbols, colours, settings, etc...

Outfits: Outfits and accessories. Full outfits or single items, textures, colours, patterns.

NOTE: It’s important to remember that some artists can only work with certain references (ie. drawn references vs photo references). If you’re unsure/your artists hasn’t stated which works best for them - ask!  

I cannot work with drawn references in simplistic styles (anime specifically), and I struggle with using nothing but Final Fantasy screenshots. They’re important when it comes to providing colour or even outfit references - but facial features are much harder for me to translate.

Some artists are okay with things like piccrews and can translate them very well! I can’t.

What is some good visual information to compile for your characters?

Written information can vary from commission to commission; unless the illustration is based off a story, I don’t need a novel to be written about the piece. 

Being dyslexic also makes it a struggle for me to parse through written information - I tend to have to break it down outside of the initial commission submission to fully understand what. I also tend to ask a ton more questions when I’m provided more written information than visual - revisions take time and energy.

It’s important to have visual to accompany your written info; 

( shout out to @moki-dokie​ for letting me use their info as an example!! )

Commission information examples 

DESIGN COMMISSIONS:

Info given:

Outcome: 

Easiest character design commission I have ever done. The information given was so concise that the only revisions were my own suggestions on the design itself. 

---

Info Given:

Outcome:

a TON of written information was given to explain the characters backstory, to further drive my understand of the aesthetic and setting of the world the character lives in. The pinterest board provided had a lot physical references, outfits, aesthetics, and colours.

---

ILLUSTRATION COMMISSIONS:

Info Given:

Outcome:

I had a lot of previous information on both of these characters (I designed the top one myself), but I was provided limited written information for this; Holiday Discord call where Toad (character one) is getting a present from Zalem (character two). Zalem is barely hiding how they feel about Toad who is excited.

 All other information provided was visual; Outfits and room aesthetics. 

We discussed poses in Dms and collaboratively found references.

---

Info Given:

Outcome: 

Absolute favorite example of the PERFECT amount of information given and the PERFECT amount of creative freedom given. 

I was handed character references with all angles as well as their armor + how to simply the armor. Pose + expression references. A general aesthetic + palette to work with. The setting. A doodle to lay out exactly what they were visualizing. 

I have all the information you could need! Now what?

I am very privileged to no longer need to take first come first serve commissions, and it’s given me the ability to really sit back and filter through the commissions that I want to do, and those that I immediately do not consider. 

I think it’s important that,  before commissioning anyone, you should ask yourself a couple important questions:

Does this artist’s style suit what I want?

Does my character suit what this artist usually draws?

Do the references I have provide the right amount of information for the specific artist I want to commission?

Sometimes the answer to these questions are; No.

... and that’s okay?

Unfortunately, not every artist is going to be able to bring your vision to life, or feel happy with the completed piece! 

If you’re someone who has Big Buff Demon Men characters that are drawn in a heavily realistic style - you might not ask an artist who draws smaller, softer characters with squishier shapes and a general aesthetic that doesn’t match your Ocs! 

If you’re someone who has characters and all of their references are in an anime style (including other commissioned work), and you have no realistic face claims... maybe commissioning that semi-realistic artist and not providing them with the references the need to translate your character into a semi-realistic style isn’t a good idea? 

I don’t understand when some people get upset when they commission an artist who clearly doesn’t draw characters that look like theirs and they clearly... don’t translate them as well.  I am making this extremely clear RIGHT NOW before anyone says anything:  Everyone can and SHOULD learn to draw the entire spectrum of humanity. From facial features, hair textures, body types, etc...

But some artists struggle to draw characters with certain aesthetics? Outfits? Accessories? You wouldn’t expect an artist who draws soft pastel art to suddenly translate your extremely rough, hard, and hot character properly?

Now, if all the answers are Yes? 

Read all information provided thoroughly 

Ask questions for clarity

Provide what you can, collaborate on what you can’t

Resources

@anonbeadraws​ post: Reference sheet for your commission references!

JAMIErightmeow’s video: I have APHANTASIA

Aphantasia Dot Com

[anticmiscellaney]

I absolutely adore your work! What's your process been like for writing NewOldRare and developing Neil and Louis? Your art and character writing feel so genuine and realistic to me, so I'm really curious how you go about it!

Thank you! I've always been obsessed with character-driven stories and interaction, so I guess this is the result of years of practice and observation, and dismantling stories that do and don't work to see why.

Unfortunately, there isn't a clear way to explain it. It's one of those "you know when you get it right" things, requiring an eye developed over a long time. I will redraw things if I don't feel like I've captured the nuance I wanted to, and a few months later I'll look at it and see where I could have done better. Same with writing. I'm obsessed with pacing and page design, I had a moment of "that's how I think about it too" when Will Eisner described comic panels like music.

The technical approach is I make notes about stories I want to write, then I expand that into outlines, then scripts, then thumbnails, then I draw the comics and colour them and finalise the dialogue. At every stage I'm asking myself if it feels right, if I'm getting across what I want to. That's not to say there aren't surprises and things don't develop organically, but every stage is an attempt to solve as many problems as I can before the next stage. My thumbnails are quite detailed because it makes pencils easier, and I spend a while on them.

I have total aphantasia so I am operating off feeling rather than any mental images. I have no idea how it works and no idea why I pursue this when I'm missing what many visual artists describe as a crucial component. I just do it and I have better things to do (art) than wonder about something I can't change. I don't think it's made me a better or worse artist, though I think it has given me different ways of approaching/developing things. But also, literally everything about you makes your work different to everyone else's work.

You need to care. If your character is into music, listen to that music. If they have an old car that keeps breaking down, read up on common problems for that model. If they work as a film projectionist, watch a training film about using the machine. The characters care about things, have things in their lives that matter, have skills and interests and challenges. If I don't care enough to understand them, why should anyone reading it care, and also why am I writing it if I don't care?

So I do, and in caring I understand them better. This helps me develop characters/story but it also gives me so much more to write/draw. Understanding how things work and how they are done from a physical standpoint makes writing/drawing them easier too. The more you put into your head, the more you can get out later. I'll do way less for a 12 page short than for a 300 page graphic novel, obviously. Pick your battles, a little can go a long way.

They tell artists to collect visual references - solid advice - but you should collect substance too. If you pay attention, you will hear and see things you could never in a million years make up.

I find online socialising difficult, so I go out regularly and talk to people, or just hang around and observe. Chatting with strangers mostly involves listening to them. No one in gay spaces is interested in flirting with me (I'm rather homely and queer men assume I'm straight) but I think an audience is just as appealing sometimes, and maybe even harder to find. You'd be amazed what people will tell you if you're genuinely interested and listening. I once spent forty minutes at a sci-fi con talking to a guy who'd recently gotten into fisting. While I have zero personal desire to partake in that activity (and he had no interest in being fisted by me), I'm engaged, I'm invested, I'm asking questions, spare no detail.

I collect behavior and movement and the ways people interact too. Reading stories on reddit or whatever is one thing, but the words might not be as interesting as the way they're standing, the way their hands move, the way they respond. A guy in a bar once literally humped my leg like a dog because he felt I wasn't paying enough attention to him. I would never think of that as a response to that situation, but he did, and he followed through. Fortunately my friend had just tried to drunkenly sit down and missed the chair, otherwise I would never hear the end of it.

I see the leghumper around sometimes, he's got a boyfriend and avoids making eye contact with me, thank god.

[lucabyte]

ppl saying they look to my comics for inspiration and pointers on how to format things is WILDDDD to me (and delightful don't get me wrong!! i am overjoyed) because like. none of you are privvy to the absolute WAHHH I DONT WANNNAAA bitchfits i was *CONSISTANTLY* throwing every time i forced myself to make a comic before i got into isat. like no joke. i considered comics such a fucking difficult medium they always drained my drawing energy so hard because they always felt like they took sooo long and had so many moving parts and were so much harder than storyboards (WHICH I ALREADY STRUGGLED WITH) because you had to account for panel shape and speech bubbles and-- like you get it. but genuinely for real. the sheer amount that i complained whenever i clawed my way through drawing a comic (which thus! was not very fucking much!!) compounded by the fact that i *genuinely have trouble reading comics*. as in, i really struggle to parse the flow of contiguous movement or action between panels (possibly connected to the fact ive got mad aphantasia?) of even really well done best-of-the-best professional comics...

... BUT. basically. what im trying to get at is. if you wanna learn to draw comics, evidently you super can?! I genuinely *didnt* draw comics before drawing isat fanart! I have no idea what it was about ISAT fanart that made it finally click for me? (I think it was... not having to think about colour? Removing a step from the process really helped. Plus, it being fanwork meant I could just start en-medias-res and not have to think about setup... Trying to cram too much explanation and setup into my oc stuff was always a big hurdle too...)

I find them fast to do now! and damn if i dont value speed in art (<- impatient little fucker). its still going slowly on my oc comics.. mostly due to the colour again, i think. but it's not extremely, ecruciatingly difficult anymore. is what im saying. and im genuinely baffled by it every time i put pen to page. its fucked up. did you guys know that practice makes things easier? . fucking perverted if you ask me.

As for looking at other people's things for inspiration. if you want to know where I was looking when I was piecing together the first couple fancomics I did for ISAT i want to specifically point at . well besides everything rebecca sugar has ever done (for hands and facial expressions *especially*), the main person i really dug into the work of was Leo Fox (Website link). I feel like i wanna point people to the source of a lot of the inspiration for my more off-kilter panel choices so you all can get the full experience rather than through my regurgitated mimesis. I'm now at the point where i can wing panel layout so i wasn't in there for longgg but. everyone go add it to your knowledge banks as for SUBJECT MATTER aka why i am i so deranged. those are squarely the 2019 postcanon homestuck golden era bleeding through my CLENCHED BITTEN DOWN JAW. A BULL TERRIER ON YOUR BRACHIAL ARTERY. namely that @/floralmarsupial and @/tomatograter's works (no i am not tagging them . im shy) are things i go back to frequently and floralmarsupials pure black/white inktober comics were *especially* an inspiration. if you've been following me a few months you may remember me reblogging a bunch of their stuff from 2019~2021 for seemingly no reason. this was why. The narratively divorced reality of jade strider & Liminal Space are big in my mind here. I balk to call myself anywhere near as good as these but these are what i'm aiming for, tonally and quality-ways with it. also detective pony but ive mentioned that already and thats farrrr too inside baseball for this post.

BUT YEAH TL;DR: I DIDNT DRAW LIKE ANY COMICS UNTIL UHHHH LIKE, WHAT, LIKE 8 MONTHS AGO? JESUS. ANYWAY. THIS MEANS YOU 🫵🫵🫵 CAN DO IT TOO. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DATTEBAYO!!!!

[creature-wizard]

A big problem I see in mystical, magical type circles is people assuming that there just aren't limitations or exceptions to things.

Like for example, people thinking that because positive thinking helped them, personally get through some rough times, then all anyone needs to do to get through difficulties is just think positive thoughts - lack of actual resources and systemic issues be damned.

And they think that because positive thinking helps their mood when they're inconvenienced, then positive thinking can literally heal CPTSD.

Or somebody finds a technique that gives them intense visionary experiences, and they share it with others. Then it doesn't work for some people. So they conclude that these other people just aren't doing it right, or just aren't trying hard enough. Never mind that people's brains can work very differently from one another - things like aphantasia, paradoxical reactions, and dyslexia exist, for example.

Or somebody finds out that they can manage their mild pain with meditation and visualization techniques. So they conclude that everyone should be able to stop using any pain medication whatsoever and rely solely on meditation and visualization. Never mind that there's no evidence that this is actually a result you could expect. Never mind that they're dealing with a different level of pain than many other people deal with.

This kind of thinking hurts people in so many ways. It denies the reality that everyone and their circumstances are different. It makes people feel broken because no matter how hard they try, it just won't work.

I have ADHD. I also have a mother who constantly told me that I just needed to try harder. As anyone with ADHD can tell you, "trying harder" does jack shit. I still live with my mother's voice telling me to just try harder even though that will never, ever fucking work because that isn't how ADHD works.

Don't think for one minute that whatever you're doing is guaranteed to work for everyone, every time, if they just try hard enough. That's not how life works. That's not how people work.

Whatever you're doing, accept that there are limitations and exceptions where results are concerned. Otherwise, you're going to get people hurt.

[icaruskey]

@pillowspace

genuinely don't know how you manage to make such fluid looking designs and drawings (and do you draw directly into the computer? that's like 3x harder for me).

I tried making my clone au design that I see in my head (as far as I can see in my head with aphantasia anyway) but it's still terrible. Except for the facial expression. That worked out well enough. And maybe the arm crutches. But that's just because in my thesis I have a character who uses the same style crutches so I've been drawing them for like 5 months now.

It was fun doing some research into how people draw and reference the Aftons at least. And more about accessible clothing. So not all is lost. I just am bad at drawing I guess lol

[imptwins]

The Bad Kind of Scary cover art!

So uh. I got some cover art! Absolutely enormous thanks to Kannaoi for this, it came out so, so far beyond what I could have possibly expected. Show them some love please. Like maybe send them a few hundred dollars because they deserve it. You can find their Twitter here and their Tumblr here. This was made for a fic of mine, but please be warned that it is one of my darker fics. It contains noncon, abduction, and drugging, among other things. It should go without saying to mind the tags, and you will stay the hell away if you are under 18. Repeat, 18+ and mind the tags, but the fic, The Bad Kind of Scary, can be found here. Actually beside myself. Having total aphantasia can make writing a lot harder sometimes, so seeing a scene realized so perfectly for the kind of details and atmosphere I had in mind is... A little hard to process? I don't know, it's just kind of beautiful. Thank you so much Aoi. Also the level of detail is just absolutely bewildering. Aoi was extremely generous in what they did here, going so far above and beyond. I think they deserve a medal. And lots of money. What's your favourite details? I love that they included Susie's machete on the mannequin, this little subtle thing that things aren't as cute as they look, just like the fic itself. Which I just noticed is where Aoi put their signarture lmao, SNEAKY. It's that or the fake band posters. Ugh, I need to write more. The feeling of another artist doing something so amazing with an idea that came from my brain, adding the ideas from their own brain to it... I am filled with justice.

[mythicalcoolkid]

This disability pride month I wanna talk a bit about some ways my autism presents, because I feel like I don't personally see it talked about in current autism settings. I guess maybe because it seems kind of "old-fashioned?" Like a more stereotyped view of autism, that gets discounted a bit now in favor of more nuanced and varied views. But people with "stereotypical" autism still exist and I wanted to talk a bit about what that looks like

I'm very hyposensitive. I have very poor interoception (sensing internal sensations). I have a few areas I'm more sensitive in, like smell and hot surfaces/water, but overall I'm really underresponsive. I often can't tell:

if I'm hungry (meaning I chronically undereat)

if I need to use the bathroom

whether I'm hot or cold: I often dress inappropriately for the weather and have health problems

what emotions I'm feeling

if I'm sick or hurt: I've had serious health problems go untreated for years because I didn't notice them

how much time has passed: I have alarms that go off every hour and sometimes every 15 minutes because I can't keep track of time

if someone touches me

the difference between some foods: a lot of different foods taste or smell the same to me. I've tried and cannot learn the taste difference between chicken, turkey, and pork

how much force I'm using: I often drop things or pet animals harder than I should

The only exception to these is food taste/texture. I have ARFID, an eating/feeding disorder that makes a lot of foods difficult to eat to the point that I go without food entirely

My "reality sensor" is broken. It's really hard for me to internalize "safety truths" and understand that they apply

I eat food when it's no longer good

I have a hard time "fearing" germs a healthy amount

I over- or underestimate risk

I massively underestimate how much time things will take

I have trouble recognizing certain things

I'm faceblind (prosopagnosia): I can't recognize people without memorizing certain traits

I have aphantasia: I cannot visualize things in my head, at all. (I can hear things in my head exceptionally well though!) Because of this I can't easily memorize images, give directions or "improvise" routes, follow maps, imitate visual actions, or do many visual puzzles

I usually don't recognize wordplay in titles because it doesn't register to me the same way

telling if someone is laughing or crying

picking up on non-obvious cues and sarcasm

understanding what's appropriate in different contexts

telling where sound is coming from

noticing smaller changes

I "look autistic"

I rock back and forth in public

have a notably flat voice and facial expressions or they don't match how I mean to come across

sit on the ground in stores

sometimes need AAC to communicate

have shutdowns where I'm fully unresponsive

use language that makes sense to me, but not others

have meltdowns when forced to change tasks early and extreme distress with life changes

had an extremely strict routine growing up and had meltdowns with self-injurious stims if anything deviated. Similar meltdowns from things not going the way I meant continued into my 20s

if my approach to something isn't working, I'll often try the same approach over and over, like looking in the same place for something repeatedly

All the "stereotypical" autism things. Even if autism doesn't actually look a certain way, there is a specific look people associate with autism and I fit it. I'm sure people have thought my partner was my carer and in some ways he is. When I was 16 I expected to be living in an independent living facility as an adult, and it's only because I got on proper meds for my comorbid disorders that I'm not

Anyway, there's probably more I'm not thinking of, but I wanted to talk about my experiences a bit because I think some people view them as maybe an outdated view instead of a way that people actually experience autism. I'm open to answering questions.

Happy disability pride month everyone!

[shatteredkelidascope]

Astral Travel Beginners Class

Ok so to start off this is teaching from experience Wich means entirely based on who you are and what's going on it may or may not work for you.

That being said, here's what I do to astral project and how I know I did. As well as the foundations of my practice

Blue words will have explanations or sources on how to accomplish the task or what it even is, some times both. If you want to just skip what I have to say and use the sources to build your own form be my guest!

Basic fundamental beliefs for this to work

Everything has energy

Energy cannot be destroyed or created only repurposed (law of conservation of energy)

There is something bigger guiding us ie universe, gods, etc; some one something out there exists

The meridian lines exist as to energy points in the body

You can astral travel

Belife in basic science

So step one is to body scan, Wich is basically to me...you sit down and do some breathwork listen to your gut/intuition/inner guidance and see with your minds eye what you're feeling, where, and why?

Let's start with

Breathwork

I use an app called breathe hold breathe or listen to YouTube videos personally I find this helps me move forward with my eyes shut as I listen to audio cues to breathe or hold.

Warning! Start from the beginning do not jump into breathe of fire you could seriously injure yourself if you don't have strong enough lungs or the right guidance ie triggering panic attacks or asthma

Getting in touch with gut/inner guidance

How I do this myself is usually eft, yoga, sound bowls (beforehand prep) or I spend more time with my spiritual family by making offerings, writing letters, or using divination to chat. (As well as studying them and researching the Grek Pantheon, I feel closer to them that way, so try to do what makes you feel more connected to your spiritual team or your higher self/ inner self)

Seeing with the minds eye.

Something I'll usually always reference for beginners is practicing the apple test for Aphantasia. Practicing visualization methods and working your mental muscles is a great way to begin prep for astral travel.

and remember it doesn't take more than a couple minutes so you can do a warm up before even sitting down for the body scan.

The Body Scan

After youre finished with your prep wether you feel it or not, press on to the next step, the body scan.

You could be stuck in a rut that the body scan will free you from once you find the source of your stress and or restrictions.

Short list of questions I'll ask during a body scan.

Where do I feel this? (Pinpointing the location of where the energy stems from)

What am I feeling? (Light, tingly, heavy, hurting, happy, sad, all possible descriptors, an emotion or a sense)

Why do I feel this (this one's harder to if you get stuck on it, try EFT (emotional freedome technique) or Yoga before continuing. This is to open the meridian lines in your body and get energy flowing)

Usually after all the prep I'm ready to go so...

Once you do the body scan and all the pre requisites, you ley or sit down in a safe comfortable place and imo you should follow a guided meditation like this one to start!

Then move on to wordless meditation music (pace yourself and start with 5 not 10 minutes if need be, that's where I began) using things like sound bowls or Shamanic drums if you want something more intense.

(Warning that drumming can be very effective but not really for beginners, still it doesn't take long once you learn the basics so shoot your shot if you feel pulled to it)

You also want to keep in mind that having a spiritual team prior to doing this is a good idea for protection against whatever is out there. Though if course you can ward yourself. You at least want some energetic line or connection be it elemental or divine or something else! Just be sure it's spiritual in nature because for this to work you combine spiritual, physical, and mental worlds before crossing them.

Now this meathod is also based in science so I have a lot more confidence going in, that's kinda the point of it is that you have the confidence to believe it. And if you don't have the confidence to believe anything anymore or maybe you confidently believe in nothing, I'd suggest a philosophy class, that's what I did to get out of my spiritual rut and what I am doing now (thanks to Lord Zeus and My Beloved @discountprophet )

If you want to verify that what you did or saw was real, then study. Study by researching what's around you by looking up your questions by double checking sources, I'm giving you some today to look into so you can launch off on your own here and now.

You have to find what YOU believe or none of it will work because you'll be doubting it the entire time. Or maybe you'll visualize, maybe you'll travel but you'll do so lopsided and constantly questioning every step of the way. Take it from me that's not fun. Or you go lopsided in the other direction and never leave the first layer ie you never leave your headspace because you're too focused on what your minds eye is seeing when your minds eye should be treated as a tool not a crutch.

You can also use divination such as scrying, tarot or bone tossing, etc. To clear up information and get more reassurance after you've done the work.

Blue Text Check In

Body scan

Breathwork

Minds eye

Inner guidance

Energy Points

Eft

Aphantasia

Body scan:

Breathwork:

Minds eye: essentially your ability to visualize

So visualization:

Inner guidance is something strengthened by balancing your Chakras/Energy points in my experience.

So Energy Points and how to connect with them:

You want to focus on root, third eye, and crown for astral travel but all should be balanced before setting out to ensure safe meaningful travels.

Eft:

Aphantasia:

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hello - it's John again, anon who asked about the blackout stuff

I had another question and an update

We did find the alter, and she is a new split, and is a trauma holder, I didn't know it at the time I had sent the ask but one of our abusers tried to contact us (went looking in our notesapp history and messages) which caused a switch & total blackout, we've had a few more since then since things have been stressful but she is trying to communicate, just harder with very bad aphantasia and dissociative barriers. Haven't had therapy in a few weeks and we're in quarantine this week, but have therapy again this upcoming Thursday so we will talk about it then but the therapist doesn't know the full extent of us being a system other than knowing that we are and that most likely was trauma that formed us,but we are gonna try to talk about it more, so you have any advice on bringing it up?

And onto my question before - is there dissociative disorders other than DID? We have a lot of alters (like 1000+) and most of them are fragments and some fully fleshed, but we all still tend to be somewhat similar, I think maybe it's a safety thing so it wouldn't be noticed, and I thought did always had very different alters, we tend to be more similar than not even though there are quite a few exceptions, but we have horrible memory sharing, I usually retain some level of "done something but idk what exactly" but we lose a LOT of memories and feel detached to ones that we do remember like they aren't "mine" per se just that "I" was there for it, in addition I never ever switch out I'm *always* here unless something very big happens that throws everything into disarray, it sort of makes me feel not valid because we don't have control over switching and I can't ever leave even if others can come in and out of the fronting area, I think/know that I do have a dissociative disorder of some kind because it is very impactful and impairing my symptoms, but I guess don't feel valid sometimes because I also like being a system sometimes other than the memory and dissociation

-john

Hey John, we’re probably getting to this too late to share advice for talking to your therapist - we hope that they were understanding and everything went well! We’re sorry if our absence here made it more difficult for you to talk to your therapist about what’s been going on in your system.

As for your second question, there are a few other dissociative disorders besides DID. There is OSDD (other specified dissociative disorder), P-DID (partial dissociative identity disorder) and DPDR (depersonalization/derealization disorder). However, it’s possible for systems with DID to have hundreds or thousands of alters, if not more! Systems with this many alters may have polyfragmented DID, although polyfragmentation has just as much to do with a system’s complex structure as much as having a high alter count.

We are not polyfragmented, so we can’t provide much in terms of advice or personal experience when it comes to understanding polyfragmentation. Any polyfragmented system who sees this is more than welcome to weigh in with experience, resources, or advice!

When it comes to not feeling valid, we’d like to offer some words of encouragement that might help y’all, if that’s okay.

First off, it’s very normal to not have control over switching, especially for systems who haven’t been able to make much progress either internally or through therapy! Our own system has been improving when it comes to managing switches, but we still don’t have full control over who fronts and when. Not being able to control switches doesn’t mean your system is invalid, and we can assure you, lots of systems out there function in that way!

Also, it’s not as rare as you might think for systems to have frontstuck members… even for many folks with dissociative disorders like DID. Our host is usually fronting to some extent (albeit often quite dissociated). And there are plenty other systems with frontstuck members too!

Finally, it’s okay to like being plural or part of a system, even if you have a dissociative disorder. Yes, it can often be impairing, difficult, painful, and overwhelming… but it can also be comforting, joyous, fun, or exciting! We have a complicated relationship with our plurality, but most of us love being a system and we wouldn’t trade our plurality for anything in the world! Having a mental illness or disorder doesn’t mean you have to be suffering all the time, and finding joy and happiness in our disorders can help make living with them so much easier!

Good luck out there, John. We hope things go well for you and your system in the future!