#my anxious thoughts 😕

[cityzenchick]

Those moments when ....... your beautiful man has gone down injured during a match (either for City or England) ......... he's in so much pain and obvious distress ......... and anxiously, you jump to your feet with trembling legs, calling out his name, feeling sick and utterly helpless as you watch him receiving treatment, from your seat in the players' box on the sidelines ............

[floral-hex]

Just canceled all of my future therapy appointments. Big fudgin’ bummer. Did I mention I lost my insurance? Didn’t even find out about that until the day it lapsed. Trying to find a way to fix it now, reapplying and whatnot, but ya know, it’s bureaucracy so who knows how long it’ll take. Just fingers crossed I don’t run out of meds first.

lol it’s underwater 🐠

[reputayswift]

you went to a PARTy. I heard from everyBODy. you-part-the-crowd-like-the-red-sea-don’t-even get me STARTed (did you get anxious though? 😕 on the way home…? I guess I’ll nev-er-ever-know…now that we don’t talk…)…………….🥁 you 🥁 grew 🥁 your 🥁 hair 🥁 long 🥁 you 🥁 got 🥁 new 🥁 icons 🥁 and-from-the-outside-it-looks-like-you’re-trying-lives-on (I miss the old ways 😔 you didn’t have to change 😞 but I-guess I-don’t have-a say…)

now-that

we-don’t

talk!

I. CALL. MY. MOM. SHE-SAID-THAT-IT-WAS-FOR-THE-ᵇᵉˢᵗ~

RE-MIND. MY-SELF. THE. MORE. I. GAVE, YOU’D-WANT-ME-ˡᵉˢˢ~

ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᵒᵗ ᵇе ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈ! ˢᵒ ᴵ ᵖᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳᶦᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ˡᵒˢt!!!! and what it ᶜᵒˢᵗ!!!

now-that

we-don’t

talk!

ᵂʰᵃᵗ ᵈᵒ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵉˡˡ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈˢ ʷᵉ…ˢʰᵃʳᵉᵈ ᵈᶦⁿⁿᵉʳˢ, ˡᵒⁿᵍ ʷᵉᵉᵏᵉⁿᵈˢ ʷᶦᵗʰˀ….ᵗʳᵘᵗʰ ᶦˢ, ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿ'ᵗ ᵖʳᵉᵗᵉⁿᵈ ᶦᵗ'ˢ….ᵖˡᵃᵗᵒⁿᶦᶜ, ᶦᵗ'ˢ. ʲᵘˢᵗ. ᵉⁿᵈᵉᵈ

🗣️ SO.

I. CALL. MY. MOM. SHE-SAID TO-GET-IT-OFF-MY-ᶜʰᵉˢᵗ~ (off my chest!)

RE-MIND. MY-SELF. THE. WAY. YOU. FADE-D ‘TIL-I-ˡᵉᶠᵗ~ (‘ᵗᶦˡ ᴵ ˡᵉᶠᵗ!)

ᴵ ᶜᵃⁿⁿᵒᵗ ᵇе ʸᵒᵘʳ ᶠʳᶦᵉⁿᵈ! ˢᵒ ᴵ ᵖᵃʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖʳᶦᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ʷʰᵃᵗ ᴵ ˡᵒˢt!!!! (what I lost) and what it ᶜᵒˢᵗ!!!

now-that

we-don’t

talk!

I-don’t have-to pre-tend I-like ac-id rock. or-that I’d-like to-be on-a meg-a yacht. with im-portant men-who think im-portant thoughts~

(guess maybe I am better off? 🤔)

now-that

we-don’t

talk!

And-the only way-back to-my dignity…was-to turn into-a shrouded mystery…just-like I-had been-when you-were chasing me~

🗣️ GUESS THIS IS HOW IT HAS TO BE! 🤷‍♀️

now-that

we-don’t

talk.

[inkdrinkerworld]

about caregiver!aaron !! he’d be so so so sweet 😕

yes!! ive been having this thought for weeks so let me pen it!! cw:talks of a slightly 'little' reader aka age regression, aaron is full caregiver!mode! use of daddy nonsexually. don't like it don't read!

Aaron's been waiting for you to slip all day. 

More accurately, he’d known you had needed to slip all week, but there hadn’t been a quiet and safe moment for Aaron to help you regress. He had been waiting and now that the week was over and he had secured the weekend off for the entire team, he knew it was the perfect time to help you regress so you could finally relax. 

He’d seen the glaze in your eyes after you had wrapped the case and on the drive home he made a quick stop at the grocery to get a few necessities to make your night much more comfortable. 

“Wanna come out?" he asks, hand brushing back the hair falling in your face. 

“What are we going for?” your voice is soft and your eyes are even glossier than they were before. Aaron hates the way you can’t slip yet, and he can tell you’re growing more anxious as you force yourself to remain ‘big.’

“We don't have any more of the Little Debbie cakes you like and we gotta replace your mug,” you nod and rub your face with the back of your hand tiredly. 

“’Wanna choose my mug.” you let Aaron unbuckle you and lead you through the grocery. He keeps his fingers interlocked with yours, especially when you spot the sale they were having on the cakes you loved.  

You grab four boxes of the fancy cakes-which Aaron can’t object to because he knows the regression might last through the weekend and he just wanted you happy-, a couple white chocolate bars and then you let Aaron lead you to the mugs. 

You’d broken your usual one washing it the other day and between the cases over the last few weeks, you hadn’t had time to replace it. 

Aaron had ordered one but it wouldn’t arrive till another week. 

“This one, please.” you point to the mug with an illustration of butterflies in the centre, different from your last one but Aaron wasn’t going to deny you. 

“You sure, bug?” you look up at him, a small smile on your lips. 

“Yeah, this one.” A confident nod accompanies your words and Aaron sets it in the basket he has in his hands. 

When you’re back in the car, he opens one of your cakes and hands it off to you, “I’ll make you some milo when we get home, ‘kay?”

As you munch on the cake you can feel yourself slip further into the headspace and tap Aaron's bicep. 

“Daddy,” you murmur and he nods, turning to kiss your cheek. 

“S’alright baby, daddy knows. It’s okay to slip, bug.”

Aaron’s reassurance had been enough to let the tension in your shoulders drop and for you to slump against the seat with a smile. 

You hum along to some of the pop songs on the radio, but mostly you take small nibbles of your cake and wiggle your toes in your boots, ready to be showered and in pyjamas.  

“D’you want a bath or a shower, bug?” Aaron leads you into the kitchen, getting a glass of water to you as he waits on your decision. 

“Bath please, daddy.” you wipe away the water that dribbles down your chin with a lazy stroke and Aaron takes the glass before it can fall from your slack grip. 

“Alright baby,” the bath is filled and you’re in it for a total of twenty long minutes, Aaron deciding against washing your hair that late but dousing it in some oil and tying it off into two pigtail braids with ribbon on the end. 

“Can I wear the heart pyjamas?” your wet lashes blink slowly up at Aaron. There’s something about you in this headspace that makes his heart overflow with love for you. He’s not sure if it’s because you trust him to take care of you when you’re like this or if it’s the way your eyes form literal hearts when you stare at him, but whatever it is, he adores the feeling. 

“‘Course, bug.” he opens the drawer you have with all your pyjamas fr nights like this and holds the ribbed white cotton splashed with pink and red hearts out to you.

“C’mere,” when you’re dressed he sits you on the bed and rubs some of your moisturiser onto your face. “Stay here for daddy, m’gonna go for your milo and your cakes.” 

Aaron erases your pout with a quick peck, patting your back as he jerks his head towards your spot in bed. “Get comfy.”

“Ready?” he asks, setting you on the bed and setting your warm chocolate milk on his bedside table along with two more of your cakes. 

“Yeah, can we watch Winnie the Pooh, daddy? But not the Heffalump one. That one's scary.” 

Aaron nods, remembering all the times he’s had to take the movie off because you always get scared in the beginning. 

Before he sits on the bed beside you, he reaches for your stuffed Pooh on the chair at your vanity.

“Do you want your blanket?” he asks, already reaching for the soft fleece coverlet on the trunk in front of the bed before you can answer. He tucks the soft material around your yellow bear and drapes the rest over your body. 

“Thanks, daddy.” you lay curled into Aaron’s chest as he finds the movie, Pooh sitting on Aaron’s stomach so you don't dirty him as you eat your cakes. 

Aaron can think of no better way to spend his time, he keeps a hand patting your bum through the entire movie and when your milo is finished and you can’t stop yawning he rubs your back and helps you fall asleep on him. 

Not before you pout, ‘kiss us goodnight daddy,’ and he drops a kiss to your cheeks and then on Pooh’s.

[vettelsavatar]

tbb spoilers

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arghhh can’t believe i’m saying goodbye to yet another series i loved so soon. what a perfect ending. my only wish is to see who was under the masks of the CX clones… i think they’re clones of the batch, but i’m not sure. also, i wanted to see crosshair and wrecker’s older designs, not just omega and hunter’s 😕. guess i’ll leave that up to the artists…

honestly though- what a fantastic episode! i was anxious the whole way through, even when they were safe on pabu. i thought a star destroyer was going to come kill them all or something at the last second.

now that that’s out of the way.

CROSSHAIR SURVIVED!!!! CROSSHAIR IS ALIVE I AM AT PEACE FOREVER.

Can someone please lend him a hand (i’m so sorry)

[archiveikemen]

'Doting Love Holic' Collection Event: Liam

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

My lover said with a cat-like smile, “there’s something I want to do”.

Kate: What is it that you want to do, Liam?

Liam: Will you really let me do it if I tell you?

Whenever Liam told me that there was something he wanted to do, I would respond by saying that I would listen to anything he wanted.

Liam was always putting me before himself.

(It’s rare for Liam to ask for anything himself, so I want to fulfil his wish as much as I can.)

Kate: Of course. Please tell me what it is, it can be anything.

Liam smiled gleefully and untied the ribbon that was holding my hair up…

(Huh…?)

He used the ribbon to tie both my wrists together.

It felt like wearing a pair of soft handcuffs.

Liam: Don’t untie them until you go to sleep, okay?

Kate: Okay… but I can't get anything done with my hands like this, you know?

Liam: Mm-hmm, you don't have to do anything at all. I’ll do everything for you.

As he had declared, Liam took extremely good care of me and spoiled me while I had my freedom taken away.

…

Kate: L-Liam. I can walk on my own, you don’t have to carry me.

Liam: No can do. What if you fall and hurt yourself? Let me be your legs.

…

Liam: What do you want to have next, Kate? Soup? Or the meat?

Kate: Hmm, I’ll have the soup.

Liam: Fufu, leave that to me. Here, say ahh…

(Everyone’s stares are painful!)

…

Afterwards, Liam brought me to the bathroom and carefully undressed me before proceeding to wash my hair.

Liam: Is there anywhere itchy—?

Kate: This feels really good, thank you.

(I mean, he’s so good at pampering me that I can help but indulge in it a little.)

My wrists were still tied up with the ribbon, and if this goes on…

Liam: Alright, I’m done with washing your hair. Mm, your hair smells nice from the shampoo.

Kate: Um, Liam. I can wash my body by myself, so if you would be so kind and untie me for a bit—

Liam: Nope.

Kate: Erm…

Liam: Didn’t you promise not to untie it until you go to sleep? You don't have to do a single thing on your own. Leave everything to me.

(Ah…)

Liam pulled away the towel covering my body and slid his soap lathered hands across my skin.

All he did was wash me, but my body was reacting to the touch of his soapy fingertips as much as I didn't want it to.

Kate: Nn…

The moment his fingertips touched the peaks of my chests, I couldn't contain my moans.

Liam: Are you feeling good? It’s okay, I’m the only one looking.

Liam: …

Liam: I wonder whether you’ll always only look at me, if I do more things that make you feel good.

Kate: … Liam?

When I tried to turn around, Liam hugged me from behind.

Liam: … I wish… you’d be unable to do anything without me around.

Liam: That you’d be… helpless without me with you.

Liam: I wish that you’d be incapable of going anywhere on your own feet…

I had a feeling that he had a specific reason for wanting to do something like this.

(I thought of waiting for Liam to say it himself.)

Kate: Hey, Liam. … Is something the matter?

Liam: … 😕

Liam: … Haha, you’re amazing. You saw through my heart so easily.

Kate: Of course. I want to know what’s in my beloved’s heart, that’s why I’m always looking at him.

Liam: …

Liam: When I was getting some light sleep this morning… I had a dream.

Liam: I dreamt of you being stolen away by a man whose name and face I didn't know.

Liam: I chased after you to get you back, but you were gone…

Liam: Aha… I’m sorry, I got anxious and did such a thing to you like tying you up.

Liam: Even if I do this… I can never really tie you down.

Regardless of how much we loved each other or were loved, we were two individual people, and such worries would never truly cease to exist.

I could wherever I wanted with my legs, and so could Liam with his own.

But it was my own will to stay with Liam.

Kate: Liam, can you untie this?

Liam: … 😦

Kate: If you don’t untie me, I can’t hug you to prove that I won’t ever leave you.

Liam’s eyes widened and he went on to untie the ribbon tying my wrists together.

With my now free hands, I pulled my anxious lover in a tight hug.

Kate: I’ll always be here. You’ll always be by my side too, right, Liam?

Liam: Do you think I’ll ever be able to leave you? The only time I’ll leave is… when my life comes to an end.

Our eyes met, and we kissed to melt away the anxiety in our hearts.

Tonight would surely be free of lonely dreams.

[washa]

I listened to The Summit audio and here’s my favourite personal comments/thoughts! (IM STILL IN SHOCK WHAT TEH FUCK)

HELP OF COURSE ASHER LOST A FUCKING SHOE 

David’s gonna whip your ass Ash 

WHY ARE WE ROASTING ASHER SO BAD

Milo being a fashionista cannon

“Good thing belts don't correlate to height.” DAVID

Ash, Baabe, get a fucking room 

Sweetheart i’m crying please give a man some dress socks

---------------------

Vincent sounds so anxious

AWH NO WILL COME ON MAN NOT THE ASSISTANT 

Vincent baby… 😕

“I can't control how people are acting but I can control how I react.” PREACHHH VINCENT 

Mhm run past me. OOH MUSIC FUCK YES, THE DRACULA MUSIC I LOVE IT 🙏

Surprise??? He’s spoiling Lovely so bad

I'M SCARED IS IT GONNA JUMP AT ME LIKE THOSE PLASTIC SPIDERS

A CROWN?? NO NO NO THAT’S SO FUCKING SWEET 

THE SAME CRAFTSMAN AND EVERYTHING I CANNOT DO THIS😭

Wait, does Sam have a crown too?? Like being a duke

HE CALLED US BABY I CANNOT 

-----------------------

Shit these sound effects are FIRE

Yo Sam wassup my guy.

Oh Porter. Hi dear ☹️

Sam is literally the opposite of me I love small talk and big events lmfao 

“Good people” He’s so salty lmfao

There’s no way Darlin’ isn’t smoking hot rn

AY ICE CREAM TUBS, Mint chocolate chip for the win 🙌

I imagine them going hand in hand, like elbows connected.

--------------------------

Porter being a smooth bitch. (as usual)

Vincent is surprisingly kind abt this, well as nice as he can

IS TREASURE NOT HERE?? DID PORTER GASLIGHT ALL OF US.. 😰

That went well. Lovely calm your boyfriend before he pulls out his hair

Nah let like Sam punch him it’s funnier.

Are these other vamps that bad oh my god 

Ooh business deals?? Yes make that moolah.

Eccentric?? Tf you mean eccentric. I don’t think David can handle more eccentric people in his life.

HELP NOT ASH PICKING UP ON VINCENT (unrelated but can we just acknowledge how emotionally mature and smart Asher is?)

WHAT DID ASH DO?? TEAR DOWN A WALL???

Oh god Bennetts?? They sound pleasant.

Wait wait, House of Baz were allies, and but every word out of Deon's mouth was to diss William??? WHAT TYPE OF SHITTY ALLIES

I want those two to die, for all of their house to run into the sun. 

-----------------------

ALEXIS HOLY SHIT AH

Latest conquest?? Come here let me rip you up 

JESUS WHAT THE FUCK ALEXIS?? SORRY I'M NOT IMMORTAL GOD DAMN.

I don’t wanna fight you lex. YOU GROW UP?? PETTINESS IS CHILDISH.

You selfish little bitch. I’M GONNA BITE HER URGHSHSHGY

Porter thank FUCK YOU'RE HERE

YES YES YES PORTER OH MY GOD GO PORTER, Thank you Porter 😭

Alexis can suck my dick. 

“Like a proper family” That's an interesting view on what your idea of a loving family is Porter.

Sammy BOY??? HELP IM CACKLING

Surprisingly Porter is in the right here. 

WOAH SHOWDOWN SHOWDOWN WOO 

WAS PORTER JUST LEFT THERE

-----------------------

Oh god what fucking now, i cannot DEAL with anymore self centred fuckers.

Is he warning us? What’s happening.

OH MY GOD ADAM I FORGOT ABT HIM. 

Ykw he’s got a point here, a REALLY good point. CONSIDERING THE HOUSE OF BAZ THING.

ALEXIS SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR WRINKLED SQUEZZED GRAPE ASS LIFE

Sam :((( yes Sam you deserve that.

-----------------------

Asher and Milo bring up the mood woop woop 

HOLY SHIT JUMPSCARE

Good lord Porter has a bad rep already w them

Investor gadget woop woop, investor gadget bam bam bam bam go gadget go bup bam bam bam badum badump.

?? CLOSEKNIT?? GOD DAMMIT FUCK CAN WE GO ONE VIDEO WITHOUT REFERENCING THEM

Milo clamp your jaw for a sec

OH MY GOD THE BENNETTS SUPPLIED CLOSEKNIT??

PORTER YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD THANK YOOU FOR THE LORE DROP. 

Wait wait we’re doing it now? OH GOD WE’RE GONNA INVESTIGATE NOW AT THE SUMMIT.

Sam said a lot of things..

WAIT NO ONE ELSE BUT DAVID KNOWS WHAT MILO DID?? Even after 2 years??

No Sweetheart think abt this please what if ya get caught.

GO BETA GO BETA FUCK IT UP WOOAHH (i’m sorry i'm so stressed.)

-----------------------

You should’ve punched her Sam, you should’ve.

Sam and Darlin’ needed better taste in vamps ffs 

Sam therapy time 😇🥳 (as required in every Sam video)

YES SAM STAND UP FOR YOURSELF 

God Sam and Darlin’ are so fucking sweet URGDHAKDA

-----------------------

Is Angel stuck talking there or??

Imagine talking to someone for like 15 minutes and come back to find your friends stalking a head of the house. David needs a panadol for the headache coming up.

-----------------------

OOH ARE WE EAVESDROPPING.

Well nobody wants to join a cult tbh, like that’s so suspicious.

This is a surprisingly civil argument, i was expecting someone getting thrown through a wall

UH OH WE ALMOST GOT CAUGHT??

-----------------------

WHY ARE THEY FIGHTING WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING

What’s up w the king

HUH HE’S DEAD????? WHEN I SAID I WANTED HIM DEAD I DIDN'T MEAN ACTUALLY DEAD.

TAH’S IT TAHT ITS WAHTD THE FUCK? DID SWEETHEART KILL HIM? DID CHRIS DO IT HOW DID ALEXIS KNOW, IS THAT WHY PORTER PICKED A FIGHT??? TO CREATE A DISTRACTION?? 

So no ice cream?? 💔

[mr-bas00nist]

Bro I'm stupid and I press send without fucking finish the sentence

ANYHOW, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE BY TELLING MR YOU WRITE FOR KÖNIG

I look at your pinned post and you said you write angst

CAN I GET A ONE SHOT, HC OR WHATEVER YOU WANT REALLY WITH LIKE KÖNIG ARGUING WITH HIS S/O? BUT LIKE they're arguing and he ends up saying something really mean. Good old hurt/comfort or hurt/no comfort, do what you deem fit 👀

CAUSE IM TIRED OF SEEING SHY UWU BOI KÖNIG AROUND, I WANT THIS MAN TO DESTROY MY FEELINGS

This one was kinda self indulgent because I’d do the same thing König would do to really close friends and people I knew. 😕 This one is a sadder on so be aware.

Reader is Non-Binary!!!

Cw! Angst with no comfort, Arguing, abuse mentions

You and König had a great relationship, very open and loving. You guys always respected each other no matter what. But König had outbursts due to his anxiety. He constantly would belittle himself and look for comfort from you and usually you had no issue helping him out but It got tiring. He just got more and insecure about your relationship and himself that you just started to leave him to his feelings. 

He’d get anxious, yell at you, start crying in your arms and say it’s all his fault. And it was this almost every single day. You tired to reassure him but it was like he was just using you for comfort not even like a real relationship anymore. You believed that he thought you were just his therapist. He’d barely ever kiss you hug you it just turned into yelling and sobbing and you turning into the ‘asshole’. 

You were so fucking tired of it. And what do you know it happened again like usual. König was beating himself up about stuff yelling at you about it while you just sat there with a blank expression. When he finally calmed down he spoke shakily. “C-can I have a hug?” He asked sadly and you continued to give him that exhausted expression. 

He was confused beyond belief, why weren’t you rushing to comfort him? 

“No.” You stated turning the TV off. “W-wha- why?” You stood up. “Because I’m sick and tired of you just using me, we used to have such a great loving relationship now all you ever do is take your emotions out on me and expect me to comfort you!” 

You rubbed your temples and you could tell he started to get mad. “I’m not u-using you! I didn’t say you couldn’t talk to me about  anything-“ you cut him off “every-time I’d ever try to talk about  anything you were always busy and didn’t have enough time for me. But when I’m doing something you can say whatever you want, I’m so done with it!” You shout angrily.

“B-but you can’t just-“ you cut him off again “No just shut the fuck up for five seconds! I understand you have problems and struggles and I have no issue with helping you but it’s become to the point where all you ever do is yell at me to make yourself feel better than leave me with a headache and heartache.”

He begins to cry while you can do nothing but glare at him. “We need to take a break, if you can’t see what you’re doing is wrong than the last thing I need is to be in a relationship with you.” You grab your phone. “Get your shit and get out, I’ll call you a taxi. When you’ve finally decided to not be an asshole you can talk to me, now go!” He drops to the ground sobbing uncontrollably on the ground holding onto your leg as he begs for forgiveness. 

You kick him off making him stumble back. “If you don’t hurry up I’ll also add a restraining order to the list, now go. Get. Your. Stuff. Or I will set it on fire.” He slugs himself up sadly still crying as he goes to get his stuff. You turn the TV back on scrolling through whatever is on. He comes back down a few minutes later with his eyes all red sad. You look at your phone. “Taxi’s right around the corner go wait outside.” You speak emotionlessly. 

He sniffles as the bright glaring lights of a car show up. You stand up putting your hand out. “Keys.” He whimpers not wanting to give them up. You yank his keys out his hand taking the one to your house. “Go.” He cries weakly walking towards the taxi. As soon as he sits down in the car you slam the door shut. 

You sighed tiredly. You looked around the house, at the pictures of you and him. You both were so happy, but not anymore.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: Pregnancy, adult topics, cheating

I didn’t think I’d get so jealous. But it’s my own fault I would say. 😕Nobody forced me to come here, where my ex and his (Ex) -fiancée lived together...

Nico: Sorry. But I put away almost everything that was possible. Her furnishings I can’t just let disappear overnight.

Me: What?... Um, no! I-... I don’t mind those furniture she bought or all that stuff. It looks great. Tbh, this is perfect! I just wonder, why didn’t it look like this in our apartment back then? I couldn’t even buy a new couch, without you starting to discuss with me. But you allowed her to change everything here.

Nico: Didn’t you listen to me a few mins ago? She bought all this shit here without my permission. I had no idea about it! I was playing soccer abroad. And you got a new couch back then. Just remember how many times I painted the walls for you. Hm?

Me: All this here looks pretty expensive, compared to our apartment. I kind of feel like she’s.... like Isabella.🤑

Nico: Isabella?... Hell, no! ..And she’s not wealthy like Isabella, if that’s what you wanted to know. Actually, she’s like.... you. Self-conscious, anxious, indecisive, a bit shy and.... sad. 🫤

Me: You must have a weakness for depressed women, ha?

Nico: You know what I meant. But she's not hooked, she has other serious..... issues. Just she’s not as cute and hot as you are to me.

Me: Yea, sure.... I just don’t understand why you moved in with her? I mean, you have a house! A pretty big one! An apartment was not really necessary. 🤨

Nico: Excuse me?.. Why would I live with my mother? You and P. also had plans to move together. Why is it allowed for you, but not for me?... Yes, he told me you chose him, when I visited him at his fucking college. So I had to move away, to avoid the two of you! But this here isn't her place. I was here before she and I got....well, serious.

Me: Sorry. I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t really choose Philip. I thought I had it, but.... no. I lied to him and myself. I always felt bad about you and he too! That’s why it was so easy for me to fall in love with Daniel. Frankly... I was glad that it was over with Philip. I didn’t want anything to do with you two, after I was with him abroad. 😒

Nico: That wasn't my fault, his ... Natasha bitch. I never did such a shit to you. But to be clear, I’m not blaming you for my own mistake! I’m sorry I asked you to sleep with him. I never admitted it, but.. the first time I saw you & him together,..... I wanted to kill P. ... Yea, now it’s out. I was jealous. Even though that damn thing was my fucking idea.🤷‍♂️

Me: And still, you insisted that I continue.......Hm? You know? But that spa-weekend was pretty nice. We should definitely repeat this. Just the two of us, of course!! Without Philip...... So sorry, N.

Nico: And I'm sorry for being crazy. I was so stupid to share you with Philip and pass between the two of us. I thought that would help you and I trusted P. Never thought he’d take you away from me. I was sure you would choose me if necessary.

Me: I chose you, but I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn't want to hurt P., so I went nuts and told my Dad.🤦‍♀️I told him the last 3 weeks alone with P. were hard. He locked me up not to relapse... and that you couldn't leave me alone, bcs I started using. I said all this to him... I wanted my Dad to get me out of that mess. Not really, I just didn't know what to do?...I was so unhappy bcs you had to go back to Italy. And at the same time afraid to lose P. But my crazy Dad sent you away, not Philip.

A bit later....

Nico: That movie sucks, babe. You really wanna keep watching this crap?... I’d rather continue with you.😏

Me: I gotta tell you something... Something serious. (🍼🤰 )

Nico: Daniel?? 🙄

Me: Agh, no... Anyway, let's talk later. I want you, too N.

Nico: From now on, you stay with me.

Me: She didn't even really move out here.... but I'd love to stay with you. 🩷

Nico: Then you stay, babe. No time to waste. I have so many plans for you. But most importantly, you divorce Daniel.

Me: This time, I’m not questioning what you’re up to.. I’ll do whatever you want. Besides, I have plans for you too. (😬🍼) And Daniel took off anyway. He doesn't want me.

Nico: His mistake, my gain. Such an moron!

And that's N.'s (ex-) fiancée. Stephanie.🤨 Don’t worry, she didn’t catch us in bed!!! But she was there! I didn’t see her myself the moment she came. I was sleeping. Nico was up. She came by to pick up her stuff, he thought. But she also wanted to talk to him and did not intend to leave. He didn’t tell her I was in his bedroom, he just asked her to leave. Nico told me she was crying and wearing... sleepwear?

He seemed worried and was somehow.... weird to me after she showed up at his place. I had the feeling, he didn’t want me anymore? 😞 All though a few hours ago, he wanted me to stay with him. He wanted me to move in with him. You know? However, I asked him to drive me home to my parents. I had to change & shower, so yea, he dropped me at my parent's house and said, that he would pick me up in 2 hours. I was so relieved that he wanted to come back. I was afraid to lose him a second time. Besides, I was pregnant. I mean, I haven’t taken a test yet, but I just knew it. Something changed in my body, I could literally feel it. It was like the last time I was pregnant. And btw, I told Nico what happened to me last year, about this whole annoying issue with my contraception. He reacted totally relaxed. He said, if I want a baby, he wouldn’t use protection. I really didn’t expect that!! 😲 I knew Nico never wanted to have children. At least not at this point. I was about to tell him, I was very likely pregnant, but I wanted to take a test first, to be absolutely sure!! I was so happy about N.’s composure on this subject. I already imagined our future with our Baby and all this. 🩵 Just as I mentioned before, the next morning, all this seemed to be in danger, bcs of that girl, Stephanie. 😓

Previous/ Next

[nekkodiaries]

⌖ the 7th shot. ┆ second base. [ 0.7k words + 2 pics. ]

killstrike: oi, i waited for 30 mins for ur stupid ass n u didnt come ://

killstrike: hey .. its been 2 days 😐 this isnt funny r u actually mad at me

killstrike: im sorry for calling u stupid 😕 even tho u kind of are

killstrike: 😕😕😕 its been 5 days since ur last active. are you okay?

jay sighs as he finishes sending the last message. summer break's about to end and the way she's been inactive makes him feel like this little friendship they've made's about to end too. maybe he should have taken heeseung's advice and asked for her number. or any other social media account.

this feels all too repetitive of the last 'incidents' he's had with her. she ghosts him and he gets anxious, staring at the screen until that little button beside her icon turns green, messaging her a couple of times even though he isn't getting a reply back. each message he sends knocking down hard on his pride, but he continues to type away. it almost leaves him upset at how he's actively trying to build a friendship with her, and her not caring enough to update him.

but he shoos his anxious thoughts away, convincing himself that maybe he's overthinking this. that even though she teased and insulted him quite a lot, she'd never completely ghost jay without reason.

just like magic, his phone vibrates. jay sits up from his bed, eyes glued on the little chat box he has with notursniper. she just comes back with a lame "haha hi." without anything else. was she not going to address how she was gone for a week? was she going to dip again?

killstrike: haha hi your face.

jongseong did not mean for his words to come out so 'upset' and pointed, but he actually was.

notursniper: hey 🥺 did you not miss your favorite sniper,, hmph

killstrike: you were gone for a week and you didn't tell me 😐

notursniper: i didn't have a choice !! i sprained my hand and my wrist hurts too much to hold my phone 🥺 can't even game grrRRr.

oh. that's why she was away. he wonders why she keeps getting into little accidents— from catching fever to spraining her hand. so clumsy, this one. he chuckles and puts his phone down briefly, rubbing his palm on his face as it dawns on him just how stupid he was for getting so deep into his mind about her short absence.

notursniper: oh god, you waited for me the day i slipped hhhhHhh I'M SORRY 🥺😭

killstrike: nah it's no big deal. i DID worry bc of ur sudden absence though. not fun. 😐😐😐 killstrike: anyw. do u wanna play now? i haven't duo-ed since u went AWOL on me

notursniper: guess you're gonna go awol on duo for longer because i can't play rn notursniper: i'm lich relly typing w one hand because my wrist hurts like a raging bitch.

his thumbs come to the screen to tell her to take a rest but heeseung's words come to mind. maybe he can ask for her twitter? pubg isn't as fun without her as his partner, plus he wouldn't have to log in everyday just to reply to her. god knows he's only been using the game to talk to her and not to actually game.

he stares at his phone for a while, thumbs slightly trembling at the thought of asking her to talk somewhere else other than the app itself. jay is nervous this would change their dynamics. but is it really that deep? maybe it is. maybe it's not. maybe he's just overthinking this again. but she might think otherwise— maybe she assumes he wants something more than a platonic gamer-friendship with her (which he does) but he doesn't want to outright give up his pride for that. then again, if he doesn't do this, he realizes she might ghost again and he's the one who'll end up having a hard time. so with his toes curled in nervousness, he types out a message.

killstrike: would it be easier to talk on twitter? only if you're comfortable. :)

notursniper: are going to second base rn? 😳😳

killstrike: . loRD. i should not have apologized that day 🧎🏻

notursniper: i'm kidding ! 🤣 give me you're @ and i'll follow you.

killstrike: same as my ign.

notursniper: boo 👎 boring 👎

killstrike: i don't take insults from 9-year olds. now go follow me and let's talk there so you can rest your wrist.

masterlist. ┆ previous. — next.

summary: park jay lives life as a hot-headed gamer by day and.. well.. still a hot-headed gamer by night— except he secretly goes by the name killstrike. after losing a match, he finds himself trash-talking his teammate notursniper, who happens to be the mysterious classmate he's been admiring for over a year and more.

taglist [open] : @yvnjin-s @wondering-out-loud @rikisly @babystrlla @shinrjj @homelycat @annoyingbitch83 @fadedluvv @haerinism

permanent taglist: @duolingofanaccount @enhasengene

[sky-bunnyyy]

Bunny's School regression rambles

My friend's bf snatched my stuffie out of my hand, and blew out the seam a little bit 😕😕

But I think he realized how anxious and upset I got, because his demeanor changed from aggressively playful, to calm and caring immediately. I almost thought he knew I was regressed for a second

[slutypup]

hiii everyone!!! sorry i haven’t been super active and haven’t really been talking to people!! (i’ve been so busy with moving and stuff 😕)

anyways i’m back now!! i really missed being told/forced to do things to make me into a better girl🥰

a lot of times i say i’ll do things and then i don’t because i get anxious that my delusional boy thoughts will make me regret it… sooo i had the idea that if people could pay me through cash app to do things to make me more girly and/or even for them to get off to that it’ll make me actually do it and not back down😁

i would just put my cash-app on this post but i want to make sure i’m doing the right things for the right people who give me money for it. (like if someone sends me money to do something and i don’t see it, or if someone sends me money but then someone else claims they did. idk it’s just easier for my stupid little girl brain hehe ☺️)

so anyways dm me if you want to send me money to do- pretty much anything you want me too!!!

(p.s. don’t worry the money is gonna go to lots of girly things and i’ll be sure to send proof of all of the girly things i get with the money💖💖)

[moonstruckme]

hii babe I hope you're doing absolutely amazing I officially moved and it's been a lot. My body dysmorphia is getting worse and I have no one to talk to in my life (I try and explain and they don't understand and then it turns into an argument it's really draining) 😕 I just need to talk with someone who just listens and doesn't turn my words against me. I need someone to comfort me and hug me I'm seriously so touch starved it hurts (my love language is physical touch like 100% just sitting close to someone makes me happy and I haven't gotten that in awhile 🙁 that's why your writing helps me I've never felt comfort like that from anyone and it hurts I truly feel so alone and idk what to do anymore I've gotten so tired of trying and now with the thoughts in my head are dragging me down. Sorry this is a lot I've just been so overwhelmed. If I said anything triggering I'm so sorry. I didn't want to get into my body dysmorphia it's a lot sorry I just wanted to make sure it was ok before I actually ranted...

-🍓

I'm so sorry that moving has been such a bad experience for you lovely! I think body dysmorphia is one of those things that's really difficult for people who don't experience it to grasp but ofc you deserve sympathy and kind treatment nonetheless. I don't think there's any shame in escaping into fantasy a bit when things are tough like that, I actually recently started going to therapy and when I confessed to my therapist that I sometimes imagine fictional characters comforting me when I'm feeling anxious I was really nervous she was gonna be like "that's a bad coping mechanism and an unhealthy substitute don't do that" (and I'd already resolved not to listen haha) but she actually said that's a coping mechanism she tries to teach people who don't do it naturally, because during those times in our lives where the only person who can comfort us is ourselves that's often the easiest way for people to do it (imagining other people doing it instead). So I didn't mean for that to be preachy, but basically if you need to sort of take some time to console yourself I hope it makes you feel better and I hope you don't try and resist it like I did!

You haven't said anything triggering to me my love, you're welcome to rant here anytime. Wishing you nothing but happiness <3

[rachaeljurassic]

So, it’s been almost exactly a month since I posted my last live blog. I have read a LITTLE bit of fan fic, and answered a few asks, but I’ve been pretty deep in another fandom I was writing fic for, so I haven’t thought about it as much as I’d like.

I HAVE accidentally encountered one or two things about the film.

Phrack stand in the rain (very minor spoiler 😉)

Jack throws caution to the wind and undoes his top buttons and rolls up his sleeves 😮 (welcome minor spoiler 😉)

The word ‘quicksand’ which made me laugh because I had a fic idea about something similar…maybe it’ll fit. And WHO ends up in the quicksand? I mean, Phryne or Jack, I don’t care, delicious drama either way. Presumably it’s not somebody new because frankly, not bothered, let ‘em sink 😉 – minor spoiler)

The word ‘conflict’ which is hardly unexpected 😆 (very minor spoiler)

Possibly not a spoiler – I saw a picture accidentally and a moustache featured and I THOUGHT it was Jack and I’m like NOPE, I DO NOT DO MOUSTACHES. Phryne, tell him to shave it off!!! But then I saw the back of the dvd box and there’s another guy who looks a bit like Jack with a moustache so maybe I panicked over nothing 😂 (it better be that!!! 😕)

It’s the first of three (and the other two aren’t going to be made 😭) so I guess I’m not expecting resolution but I’m a little concerned the ending will be…we…unfulfilling for all concerned 😞

It is not everybody’s cup of tea (gleaned from comments I read while ordering the dvd, didn’t read why). I’m a LITTLE anxious 😕

So, I guess I’d better dive in and find out…

And...play

OK, a chase...and she's gone...hang on a minute...

🤣

Blimey

Still got the shiny gun and a penchant for climbing in through windows I see

😁

Who's this bloke?

🤨

How rude! Inciting unrest and inflammatory behaviour? That's my girl!

🥰

Sir Montague looks like he's a bit of a dick!

"...I found several of them to be quite desirable"

😆

Oh, that's a VERY rude thing to say about Australia!!!

😮

And she's gone

🥳

And she had time to change clothes, how very Phryne of her

😆

Ok, I think NOT wearing such striking colours while trying to escape the law is something to remember for next time

🙄

Ooooo, motorbike, Jack would be jealous....speaking of which, where the hell is he?!

🤨

And he's missing Phryne on top of a train too

😔

Do hurry up and get in the blood train!!!

😬

Oh

😣

[n0heart]

Also sorry for TMI,

Hi, hope you are doing well. I hope I am not crossing any of your boundaries by this ask. Please tell me if I am doing so. I am 20 (f). I deal with anxiety and don't know who to share this with. So if you could please help. Please let me know if you don't want to. So my bf and I are in a 6 Yr old relationship but we were never involved physically. A year back he asked me for semi nudes. I wasn't comfortable with it so I declined it. The next day he asked for the same I said I don't want to do it now I am getting anxious. We moved on talking. This happened for a couple of days. Then for the next 3 days every morning he used to ask me if I was comfortable doing it. Then I sat him down and told him I am not at all into it now/ not comfortable with it. So he stopped asking me for it. Though it's been a year I still get anxious over it. He has never asked me for it again and we are still dating. The problem is I feel like he breached that boundary by asking it off me again and again.Its been a year I am not not getting over it or I am able to get closer with him on that level.How do I forget it and be more comfortable with him on physical level.

hey there, you're not crossing any of my boundaries, don't worry.

i don't really have that much experience with relationships because i only had one boyfriend, but i understand the way you're feeling. i'd say the key to any healthy relationship whether that is between friends, family, sexual or romantic partner, is COMMUNICATION.

if you had been open about the way you felt since the very beginning and he still insisted on something you were clearly not comfortable with, then it's not something you should feel guilty about. and not only that but even after asking once and being able to see how uncomfortable you were, he still kept asking.

you don't owe him or ANYONE ELSE anything you're not comfortable with doing or giving, don't ever feel like just because you've been with someone for a certain period of time then you owe them parts of you you DON'T WANT TO GIVE AWAY.

SAYING NO DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON OR A BAD PARTNER, EVER.

sit with your thoughts and feelings for a bit and consider what you want (or don't want). if you say yes, will it be because HE wants it? or do you want it as well? whatever you do, put yourself and your mental health and boundaries first.

don't do anything you don't want to do if you're not 100% sure. and TALK TO HIM about all of this, try and tell him how uncomfortable he's made you feel.

i remember the anxiety i felt around my ex once i told him i DID NOT enjoy having sex with him, and even though he understood and tried not to pressure me he still insisted from time to time when we were kissing and that's one of the things that made me incredibly uncomfortable whenever he tried to touch me or get "too close".

sit with him, tell him, and if none of that works...maybe he's not the right one for you babes 😕

good luck and don't hesitate to send me another ask if you ever need it (also, if you ever feel comfortable with telling me off anon who you are, i'll gladly dm you and we can talk more ☺️)

[theharrowing]

I can kinda understand the writers’ pov. But sometimes I don’t have the energy or words to give feedback 😕

On another note, I think I get anxious and overthink about saying my thoughts off anon. Especially if it’s nsfw or I think it could annoy the writer. I usually speak on anon. I kinda dislike it because I do want to connect with people more but 😕

i understand so many points!

not having the energy

fear of seeming annoying

wanting to connect more

i sometimes also do not have the energy! and that is perfectly ok. sometimes merely existing can feel overwhelming 💜 and when we use reading as an escape, coming back from the escape to talk to other humans can be a lot.

there are definitely readers who are energetic, and who are a lot, and who sometimes miss some of what i am conveying through my stories (like plots and hints and things) but as long as readers are nice they are never annoying. i get it, though!!!!!!! i worry so much sometimes about being that idiot in the comments sections who annoy writers. especially when they seem so cool and i am just a stupid little babie????????? i completely fucking get it.

maybe, if there is ever an author you wish to connect with more, based on your anon interactions, you can dip your toe into talking to them off anon? nothing big, just simple comments. feel it out and see if you are comfortable and if the two of you click? i know all of my author friends would probably be thrilled to hear from you (and any of their readers.) but only if you feel comfortable. if you do not, then don't sweat it. keep doing what you're doing. 💜💜💜 you can also dm me if you every want to talk about things. my inbox is open and i am very kind!