#my allergies are fucked up today and i feel kinda dead

[hostiae]

i'm going to work on stuff over here in a bit. i hope you guys are all doing well!

[vanoilette]

𖦹 synopsis. main four w sick reader ! — how they act when your sick.

disclaimers. swearing, slightly suggestive, cartman being a jew hater

notes. i have really bad allergies at the moment so i came up with the idea for this one !!

eric cartman.

he kinda forgot you could get sick.

but you did, whether it was bad allergies, the flu, any kind of sickness at all.

hes Cartman, like i’ve said time and time before.

so he pretends like he doesn’t care, but your health is a priority to him.

“What do you mean you can’t come to watch Terrance and Phillip with me today? Why the hell not?”

“Eric, Im sick.”

“So what?”

genuinely gets disappointed and mad that you cant, and or wont come over.

pretty much is more agitated than he already is for the rest of the day towards everyone who speaks to him besides you, especially towards kahl.

“Shut up you stupid jew.”

If your sick for more than a day or two, he’ll just come over to your house because frankly—hes just a bit too dependent on your company.

But he’ll be so dramatic if you cough or sneeze around him.

“Oh my god ..i..i think i’m dying, your spreading your illness!”

You literally just sneezed next to him.

He acts like your both sick or something.

kenny mccormick.

kenny’s died, gotten sick, etc. multiple times before.

although, unlike him. You actually stayed home, being sick, resting. instead of being in the freezing cold snow like everyone else.

kenny does all of the above when hes sick instead of resting, no wonder.

“Wait .. why can’t you come outside?”

“Because, im sick, kenneth.”

“..But you can still walk.”

that aside, he does try his best to take care of you.

despite all the risks of doing it, he still lays down next to you, cuddles you, sleeps beside you.

and most definitely tries to kiss you.

And he just chills with you, maybe make you soup, soup at your house of course.

He doesn’t have alot of money to help you to be honest.

But he did steal something on the account of you were feeling 10x more horrible and he had to snatch some medicine for you.

Personally? Hes like butters when it comes to a relationship.

Both of the two act like golden retriever type of boyfriends, but thats just in my opinion.

kyle broflovski.

lord.

he acts like a mom.

He dropped everything as soon as you texted him and just came over to your house to take care of you immediately.

“Are you okay dude??”

“I just have allergies.”

“I bet thats what dead people thought too.”

“What the fuck kyle.”

Makes you food, kisses you, (on the cheek), and is just very present during the whole thing, hes like this even when your not sick anyways.

Pretty much is like Kenny, both want to be there for you.

He tries to make you feel better in any way he can.

Yes, any way, take that in whatever way you want.

So sweet though, and treats you so well the entire time.

You got better after a bit, thankfully.

stan marsh.

You had the unfortunate luck of getting sick while Stan and his family were out on a “family road trip.”

He felt so bad.

Called you the entire time just to make sure you were okay.

“Babe, im so sorry, i didn’t even wanna come anyways.”

he didn’t want to be there, though your voice and presence made the trip slightly more bearable.

Things got a little more .. intimate over the phone, but i’ll make a separate part on that later, or later.

Especially on the drive over, and back, was hell; to him atleast.

He had to get off the phone at some point because his parents said it was “family time”

And he did, respectfully and reluctantly.

In the end, as always. You got better.

[the-sand-guardian]

Little vent, cw for discussions of grief and mentions of death

but my great grandma died last night. We all knew it was coming and it's genuinely what was best for her at the point she was at. I've been trying to tough out today since it's the end of the week and i'm staying with someone tonght. I also have a mild cinnamon allergy that I very consistently forget i have until it's too late. This happened today and I was in class with a reaction (mouth numb, sick feeling, etc) and bc I just kinda need company right now and discord is blocked on our school's wifi, i was on my phone here and there to reply to my friends and get a little comfort for everything. I got my phone taken which like yeah ok i Was on it in class but that's not to say i was pleased in the slightest. Like ten minutes pass and i just started fucking sobbing at my desk so i started to pack up my things because there's no way i'm staying in class while having a breakdown over my dead grandmother. I was just about to tell my teacher i was leaving (I say tell bc with asking her there's a very real chance she'll say no) when she snapped at me and asked if i needed to go to the office. I told her yes and asked if i needed to fill out a hall pass but she actually ignored me so i asked again before leaving and making sure to tell her that we'd lost our grandmother.

the administration was so nice about everything though and i got my phone back and out of class for like half the day

[sugarcherriess]

omg you're taking requests!!! im way too obsessed w/ the thought of enemies-to-lovers Sangyeon ESPECIALLY if he's the one that ended up simping over you too much 😵‍💫 smut bcos I won't accept anything else (1/2 jk) congrats on the 1k followers!! YOU DESERVE IT

Thank you so much my darling and I hope you like it😋

Enemies To Lovers with Sangyeon:

cw - smut, whipped sangsang, but he’s also a pain in the ass, Sangyeon likes to be degraded by you, messy quick fuck that scrambles your hole, he has a strength kink.

Unlike my previous statement suggests, Sangyeon is not the only pain in the ass

You are a pain in his ass and his head too

Double kill!!!!

Both of you are COMPETITIVE competitive

You know each other through a mutual friend, lets say Jacob, the angel who just wants you to get along

And because Jacob adores you both

You get invited to the same activities a lot

But the same friend is also the reason you become enemies because???

“I’M THE FAVOURITE”

“NO ITS ME. IM THE FAVOURITE”

“YOU DONT EVEN KNOW JACOB’S FAVOURITE PORN TYPE!”

“YOU DONT KNOW THE SOUND OF HIS RETCHING WHEN HE’S HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK!!”

Yeah.

You both always try to one up each other

Out drinking at a bar becomes riling each other up over who can down more shots without chasers

Playing basketball turns into pushing each other until your sides are bruised

Even the gym isn’t left alone as you both fight over who has more muscles and can bench press more

Movie nights have you quarrelling over your apparent shit tastes in entertainment

“You text like an ancient relic”

“At least people look forward to seeing ancient relics, you midseason allergy”

He talks a lot of shit for someone who’s becoming more and more impressed by the same competitiveness that used to tick him off before

One day you’re working in the kitchen and he comes in to get some juice or whatever

And you call him a mouthbreather out of nowhere

But instead of coming back with a “That insult went out of fashion in the 1900’s just like your chopping skills,”

He just laughs

Yk that heart, very Sangyeon-like laugh?

Yeah that one

And its so fuckin out if the ordinary that you spin around to face him

“Why are you laughing?”

“Cute,”

And thats the only thing he says

And it irritates the hell out of you

“What do you mean cute you gross piece of shit,”

And he’s just staring at you all starry eyed

“Did you get hit by a bus? I’m sure your last braincell died because you’re looking at me like a dead fish”

Notice how long the insult was??

Its because you were trying to hide how furiously your cheeks heated up at a single word

Cute. Who the fuck does he think he is? He probably meant it as an insult… so he thinks he’s better than me? This huge piece of horseshit!

This entire monologue goes on inside your head as your anger keeps overcoming your fluttery heart and Sangyeon stares at you like he just got an epiphany that yeah you’re the most adorable boiling pot he’s ever seen in his life

He giggles again and you break out of your stupor

“What are you laughing at?” You snap

He would lean against the fridge and you’d take it as a challenge

Striding towards him with purpose

You’d push him flat against the fridge and he lets himself be shoved

“Never call me cute again you fuckface,”

He’s looking at you with heart eyes

You don’t know but he’s been thinking about it hard lately

Thinking about when he started getting less angry at your bitchy attitude

And started following you around like a lovesick puppy provoking you so he can enjoy your furious eyes send daggers his way

Mans has a zero thoughts, head empty kinda moment

Caught up with your forearm pushing his neck into the huge food container machine

He swallows his inhibitions and kisses you

Mouth to mouth

It ends in a flash

But you feel the weight of his lips against yours so well

“What the fuck is wrong with you today how dare you kiss me-“

To the surprise of all the stars in the sky and Sangyeon and you yourself, you cut your own self off

By pulling his collar and kissing him properly

You tug at his lips with your teeth as you pull him to crowd you against the counter

You jump on it yourself

“You’re so useless,”

Sangyeon grinds his chubbed up cock in between your open legs caging him in

Your nails scratch his pelvis as you messily try to get his cock out of his sweats

And he quickly gets your lower half naked

He has no time at the glorious image displayed for his eyes to stare at unfortunately

Because you’re hooking your legs over his arms, scooting over the edge and dragging his cock to your hole

His huge cock

His damn thickness

You make sure trace the outside of your entrance with his massive cock to tease him🫶🏼

And then you shove it in yourself

You try to set the pace too by holding his waist and pulling him to you

But something snaps in him

And he grabs the back of your thighs

Pushing them all the way back to fold you like a pretzel

And sets a brutal pace enough to bruise your insides

His cock shoves roughly into you, uncaring of your quickly bruising skin

His balls would slap so hard against your skin that he would actually consider going slow

But the way you’re panting and groaning into his chest makes him rethink

It wouldn’t be too far off to imagine him sliding you off the counter at one point and bouncing you ok his cock mid air

He likes having you lose control like this

No matter how much he likes getting degraded by you as well

Your orgasm hits you hard and explodes all over his shirt

And he shoves you to the counter, back pressed flat against against it

His hands on your chest keeping you pressed there as he ruts into you like crazy and empties himself on your abdomen.

“I guess this is one way to get along,”

Poor Jacob

But you do get along after that

Because when Sangyeon confessed that he’s started to like you a lot

Your rolling eyes couldn’t do jack shit to hide your smile

Even if you promise yourself you don’t feel the same way

You too start liking his annoying banter a few after-sex cuddling sessions later

[ryosmne]

You're gonna fry your brain.

Hello everyone, since it's finals season and we're all probably really dead inside, I decided to self indulge in some tattoo artist! Sukuna writing, so here's this brainrot that won't let me focus on studying. You can read more of this au in the au masterlist.

I've been trying so hard to finish up a bartender! Dabi fic I have in the works for too long, hopefully I can get around to it too. After finals are done I'll be writing a lot more that's for sure.

Tattoo artist! Sukuna x f!reader

Warnings: language, suggestive tones, that's it.

Finals are by far the worst thing about college, y/n knows that the hard way. She's been stressing herself out for the past few days, maybe weeks, going over the same material again and again. She'd constantly argue that she really needs to pass with an high grade that's why she's so obsessive over it.

Sukuna had tried multiple times to help her ease her nerves, he's been there, although he was the type who never really stuck his nose in a book for too long, regardless, his best girl needed a break, no matter how hard she denied it.

Y/n had declined his invitations of going out, she dropped by the shop a few times, bringing Sukuna some food, but he could tell she was slowly burning herself up.

Today was no different, y/n had been writing everything down all day to help memorize it better. So many hours has passed since she started her study session but she didn't even notice that her clock read 8 pm already.

Sukuna did notice, y/n had been barely responding back to his texts and it was time he took matters into his own hands.

The earpiercing doorbell pulled y/n out of her trance like state, she quickly got up from her desk to go and get rid of whoever just rung it.

"Dollface, I was beginning to think you had died in there."

There was Sukuna, leaning in her doorframe, looking as good as he always did, in a plan white t shirt and a gray pair of sweatpants, holding a few bags and a huge basket.

"not quite, what's all this?"

Y/n motioned to the bags he had.

"Nothing much, just some things I picked up for you, will you let me in? this basket is fucking heavy."

No, the basket wasn't that heavy, Sukuna could carry it just fine, he just wanted to make sure that y/n didn't have a chance to deny him.

Y/n stepped aside to let Sukuna in, and he went straight to her kitchen, dropping his bags on the table.

"Thanks for dropping by babe, but I really need to finish the last three chapters I have left."

"Y/n, you're going to fry your brain at this rate, no more studying for today."

"But-"

"No buts, you won't read another sentence today. We're destressing together."

Turns out, Sukuna had brought over many different things. He's not the type of guy to shy away from anything, so the first thing he did was to grab y/n and drag her into her bathroom.

Sukuna had taken mental notes the first time he looked through y/n's skincare products, he was able to determine her skin type and he went a bit crazy, buying her different things to try out.

"You are insane, that's drunk elephant, why did you get this many things?"

"Because you have the really terrible cheap stuff, now shut up you're going to eat the soap if you keep talking with cleanser all over your face."

Now, y/n's skincare wasn't bad, Sukuna had expensive taste and he's a bit of a brand snob

Sukuna gently poked her cheek with a smile as y/n's face distorted because she had in fact tasted the cleanser and Sukuna could only laugh at her before she flicked some into his mouth too.

"Don't kiss me with a face mask on you brat"

Y/n let out a soft laugh, Sukuna was doing his best to concentrate at the task at hand. Matching y/n's nail polish to his. Y/n had just finished painting his, matte black like he requested but y/n gave him some white polish on his ring finger. Sukuna had argued for a bit, saying it didn't look good and that he didn't like it, but gave in after y/n gave him a puppy face, can you blame him?

"But you look so cute like that."

Y/n complained, knowing that this little comment was going to feed Sukuna's ego more.

"I know doll, but artificial orange doesn't taste as good as it smells."

Y/n once again wasn't wrong, his cocky attitude always creeped in at times, not that she minded.

Time passed fast with watching trash reality shows on y/n's couch, after their very own self care day, Sukuna made sure to fix something they could both eat. Now they were engolved in each others arms, y/n's sleepy eyes staring up at him.

"How are you feeling, doll?"

Sukuna's hand found her hair, gently resting on top of her head.

"Much better, you're the best you know that?"

"I've heard it once or twice, I'll give you reasons to say it more often"

He gave her a gentle smile, leaning closer to steal a kiss, a little more intimate than the ones they shared earlier.

" 'Kuna, I'm sorry I was so stressed and distant this week, I probably worried you-"

"Don't be stupid, it's ok, I just want you to know I'm here for you, and it's just finals. You're a smart cookie, I'm sure you'll do great."

Y/n found his words reassuring and nuzzled closer to him, letting her lungs burn with his scent that never got less intoxicating.

"Thank you 'kuna, what would I do without you?"

The last few words came out slurred, but Sukuna understood everything, y/n's breathing got steadier against him.

"I don't know doll I'm just glad to have you here, I promised to take good care of you."

And just like that, y/n was fast asleep next to him, he didn't mind her uncomfortable couch one bit all he cared about was how at peace she looked. Maybe he would move her to her bed later, he couldn't bring himself to do it now.

The next morning, y/n found herself on her bed, Sukuna had almost woken her up getting ready before he left to go to work, but he managed to put her right back to sleep with a kiss on the forehead and a light "don't wake up yet doll".

Y/n made her way to the kitchen, Sukuna usually left a little letter for her on the nightstand by the bed, he must've been in a rush today.

Not quite the case.

Sukuna not only made her, her favourite breakfast, he also left post it notes in some places.

You suck at food shopping, thank me later.

Was written on her fridge.

So that's what all the bags were for, y/n didn't find out last night because of how tired she was, and how much fun she had being around sukuna.

He had filled up her fridge with everything she ever needed to make a meal for herself or have a snack. Let's be honest Sukuna just wanted to cook for her again.

Another post it was found in her bathroom cabinet.

You're probably gonna get mad at me for this but I'm not sorry, you deserve it.

The poor cabinet was stuffed to the brim with brand name skincare that made anyone's wallet scream in anguish and a lot of bathbombs. Upon closer look y/n almost cried at how attentive Sukuna was, he took extra care to look out for her skins needs.

Y/n found the last post it on her desk while she did her revision.

Don't overwork yourself doll, you've got me for that.

Y/n brought Sukuna cupcakes from seven different bakeries to try that day.

Bonus Domain shenanigans: "Sukuna left early again?"

Megumi asked, the day had been going pretty slow he wasn't surprised his friend dipped.

"Yeah, he left this behind though."

Geto held up a very nice looking white shop bag, a slight glimmer in his eye let the rest of his friends know he planned something.

"So? What's in it anyways?"

Gojo was resting his chin on his hand, blank expression on his face, completely unamused by Geto's discovery.

"Give me that"

Nanami swiftly snatched the bag, curious to see what was inside of it. He reached in and retrieved several wrapped round objects.

"Bathbombs?"

He questioned puzzled, but then his lips tugged upward.

Megumi, Nanami, Gojo and Geto, each got two bathbombs, and even though they would outright say it, they were pretty damn exited to drop them in their bathtubs. That's what Sukuna gets for avoiding clean up.

Sukuna entered the shop barely greeting anyone and begun looking around. Fuck he was looking for something, everyone tried to keep their composure.

"Have you seen a white bag?"

He finally looked at the group of men before him.

"like a backpack? No "

Megumi spoke, Sukuna begun thinking he was remembering everything wrong, that's untill he saw something sticking out of Geto's pocket. That's for sure a bathbomb he bought for y/n

"You motherfuckers, how low can you stoop to steal my girls bathbombs?"

Hey it's me again, though I'd add that here, if you have specific skin demands I tried to cover that in here so everyone can enjoy it, I have lots of allergies and skin concerns so I'm kinda sensitive to that stuff. Hope you had fun reading, remember to take it easy, untill next time :>

Tag list: (comment or message me and I’ll gladly add you)

@artist4theworld @skatercashew

@divineteaty

@in-inception

@not-another-ackerman

@jjk-is-my-shit @ilovemarvel99

@thegaymadafakkasworld @readinghassavedmylife @ruler-of-the-skies

@bluebananasssss

@ghost-of-todoroki

@sabsaocit

@heaveus

@jackysenpaii @rebenok-zimnayaya

@aam1na @sore-eyes@ryan249057 @goobygoobster @charlie-xo @kamisamaundercover

@shadoweepingscream

@sunfloweroranges

@haleypearce

@crapimahuman

@fiona782

@levi-ships-eruri

@chocolatecake764

@stupid-simp33 @ciphersighs

[leviiattacks]

Lmao Levi being irritated because reader, his roomate, who he still hasn't confessed to yet, gets a cat.

The cat hates Levi but loves reader and reader loves the cat too and it's basically Levi vs the cat someone help

note :: very rushed and not proofread i only wrote for fun because once again i am bed ridden with sickness ha ha the perks of always being sick i suppose T__T

lord, does levi despise the way you act without thinking sometimes

he’s legitimately appalled at how you can manage to always do shit like this

even more appalled at how he lets you get away with it every time

now, what is the shit you have done this time?

brought a cat home a CAT

first things first, you are allergic to cats so he does not understand how that predicament will fix itself

secondly, cats shed EVERYWHERE

as much as he enjoys cleaning he is not going to clean that up every day

thirdly, cats will ruin furniture and claw at it

as well as the curtains!!!!

and levi loves the curtains in the living room because the both of you picked them out together

though it was a struggle to get you interested enough to pick a pair you liked.

maybe that’s why he’s looking at you irked by this all

you’re holding the kitten in your arms playing around with her

“peek... a... boo!”

playing fucking peek-a-boo with a cat? he questions himself in his head

“y/n. we are not keeping the cat.”

at this you innocently look up at him through your lashes

god, there you go again doing that

he doesn’t know if you’re aware of the impact you have on him when you do that

he’s good at holding his composure but that look ignites something in him

but he always has to push that something down his throat

“c’mon, you’d be the best roomie ever if you let me keep her!”

his eyes narrow at the word roomie

is that all he is to you?? a roomie???

you’re holding the cat up alongside your face and are fake pouting

“you. are. allergic. to. cats.” he punctuates every word clearly

“how do you know that?” you ask reasonably shocked he knows something that obscure and random about you

“you like talking about yourself when you’re drunk.”

a memory of him helping you throw up whilst he carefully holds your hair out of your face flashes past

if it were anyone else he wouldn’t have got anywhere near them if they were throwing up

but it was you,

it was always you.

“you rambled on and on and on about wanting a cat as a kid but not getting one because of your allergies.”

“so you would also know-” the cat tries to scratch your arm and you retract giggling

“that i really want a cat!”

“does that change your allergies? poof oh wow y/n you’re no longer allergic to shitty cats because you want one.”

you roll your eyes at his deadpan expression and pessimism

“if you knew anything about cats you would know this is a cornish rex” you now rebuttal

“a fucking what?”

“hypoallergenic cat breed! my allergies to cats are mild so it’s the perfect cat for me”

the crease between his eyebrow deepens.

“do you forget that we live in this apartment together?”

you scrunch your nose looking at your little buddy who has now settled in your lap “how could i forget that?”

he knows you see him as nothing more than a roommate

levi loves you he does but you don’t know that

but part of him thinks you do because you always give him that look when you want something

you’re doing it again.

the look.

“fuck. fine but if that thing coughs up a hair ball she’s out.”

“AAAHH THANK YOU I LOVE YOU LEVI!!!!” you’re ecstatic

his breath traps itself in his throat when he hears that

how can you carelessly say i love you??

you’re happily looking between him and the cat and hand her over to levi

“hold her you’re the dad”

“so you’re the...?” he asks

“i’m the...???” you’re clueless

he shakes his head waving it off

it takes you a moment to understand what he’s asking then your eyes widen

“ohhh the mum? yeah that would be me”

it’s so stupid, so stupid, so so so stupid he repeats it in his head the whole scenario is stupid

but it doesn't stop him from smiling like an idiot

in recent days you’ve given her the names diana, garfield and casper

sadly, none of then seem to stick because you’re too indecisive

it’s got to the point where you barge into levi’s room without asking

you’re in your pyjamas he looks at you confused as to why you’ve walked in with no permission at 2am

in a cucumber face mask...?

“name the cat please, name the cat i can’t stick to a name i’m going to rip my hair out“ you’re gripping at your hair groaning in frustration.

“edgar’

first suggestion, too ugly.

you shake your head

“candy“

second suggestion, no, just no.

you shake your head again in refusal

“zero?“

yeah, no.

another shake of the head

levi ponders and thinks hard “...angel?’

you blush, jump back and look more than startled

fumbling with your fingers awkwardly you edge closer towards the door

he just eyes you weirdly wondering what causes that reaction

well, you must like the name

“is it good enough?” he asks

you’re speechless not knowing what to actually say

“y/n...????”

you snap out of it

“isn’t that something you’d call a significant other not a cat?”

and for once in your life you actually seem kinda annoyed at him

“your cat is an angel in your eyes that’s the point” he’s explaining his point but you aren’t listening

you don’t know why levi saying that word makes your heart race

that’s why you’re annoyed right now

in fact it’s not that you’re annoyed. you’re scared that it triggers this response because this is levi.

levi, your roommate the same roommate who argues about pizza toppings with you. he’s nothing more than that.

but your cheeks continue to flush behind the cucumber face mask

“i’ll ask someone else what to name him just call him salad for now” without letting him get a word in you leave but somehow you forget the cat

salad turns to levi and gives him what can only be described as a menacing look.

“you happy you annoying shit? y/n’s annoyed because i can’t name you”

your cat jumps at him and tries to scratch at a piece of flesh but is held off easily

one cold look from levi and she stops.

“get out my room you pest.” he says as he places the cat on the floor

salad scurries away and levi rolls his eyes

he hates that cat he really does

a few hours pass levi is still up he’s always found it hard to sleep

it’s been a long day he’s just finished a thesis for his physics degree and stretches out contently

to say he’s tired is an understatement but his throat is dry and he needs to DESPERATELY hydrate

he gets to his feet and ventures into the kitchen to retrieve some water then he’ll knock out like a log and fall asleep.

the pitch of your snoring can be heard and he smiles to himself silently.

it’s all good, he’s sure you’re getting all the sleep you need.

“GRRRE”

there it is,

the little fucker, your cat is still up.

“what is it little shit?” levi asks leaned up against the surface of the counter.

salad is only staring at him blankly before turning to look over at the living room.

it’s dim the lights are switched off but levi feels something is feels off

“the hell did you do?” he asks

but salad shows no signs of breaking and revealing what it is she’s done

levi’s going to have to investigate

stepping towards the living room he flicks the lights open.

eyes survey the entire area everything looks good until he sees the way the drapes have been ripped apart

salad is picked up in one swoop she sees how levi is about to throw her out the front door and panics

meowing and struggling just in the nick of time she jumps before running away and slipping into the safety of your bedroom

groaning levi goes back to the living room to see if he’s missed anything.

well, god damn him.

scratches litter the leather furniture, it almost looks like a crossword.

salad has also conveniently taken a shit behind the sofa,

and to top it all off she’s left a dead mouse in the middle of the living room floor

levi. is. infuriated.

“you should thank her for catching the mouse”

you’re hurriedly eating some toast levi has made for you as you brush your hair out and gather it into a low ponytail

“look at the drapes y/n??” he’s exasperated and trying to make sense of your logic

“i didn’t like the drapes anyway we needed new ones.”

you aren’t taking this seriously at all and it’s getting on his nerves now

he runs a hand through his hair and glares at you “i told you taking the cat in was a bad idea”

your hair tie snaps and so do you

all the doubts from yesterday are eating you away. the question still lingers in your mind - how do you really feel about levi?

“do you have to have an opinion on everything i do? you’re my roommate not my boyfriend.”

it’s your fault for letting your anger and stress get the better of you. to be frank you have no clue why you’ve gone and said that.

if you’re honest with yourself you know he’s not a roommate. he’s not a friend either but at the same time he’s definitely not a boyfriend.

he’s more than a friend to you but you don’t think he sees you similarly.

oh how wrong you are

“roommate?”

levi’s question is filled with not an ounce of humour, the both of you know that.

oddly, he sounds displeased,

but you can’t take it back now.

and you hate backing down

“what?” you scoff

he shakes his head and makes his way to the front door not turning to look at you.

“get a grip on that cat otherwise i’m throwing it out”

SLAM!

you’ve done it, you’ve messed it up.

salad jumps up on the counter and licks your toast

maybe, he is right about the cat.

the rest of the week is incredibly busy you have an important economics presentation due today and you’ve done everything you need to prepare for it.

at least that’s what you think,

you’re stood in front of the class introducing yourself and everything seems to be going smoothly

price determination within the economic market might as well be advertised as a sleeping pill because you don’t know how you can get anyone interested enough to keep their eyes open.

but putting your best foot forward an attempt is still made.

“the buyers and sellers accept this price, and buy and sell accordin-”

you’re abruptly cut off by your professor who coughs and then proceeds to leer at you in disgust.

a few moments of silence pass and you can feel your heart hammer in your chest.

suddenly he points at the door,

he’s known for being harsh, strict and a stingy marker but it’s not as if you’ve shown up with nothing done...?

in fact this is the largest amount of effort you’ve put into your economics course since you’ve started it.

being in your usual seasonal slump has held you back but now you’re actually trying he’s saying it’s not good enough?

“your presentation. it’s awful. not enough effort put into it, leave for today.” his voice is rumbling and intimidating.

you’re stunned, you’ve worked tirelessly day and night to finish this off.

you’ve even had to cry over not knowing or understanding how to make pie charts.

interpreting data has never been your strong suit.

too embarrassed to ask for help you had to spend hours figuring out how to make it all work alongside your excel chart and spreadsheet

sighing heavily you speak up “professor i’ve spent a lot of time on this?”

“i looked through the slides. dog shit.” his response is fiery and you shudder at the boiling frustration he’s shooting right at you.

arguing in front of the lecture hall is not what you wish to do and you’re sure you aren’t going to be the only person sent out this way.

just retreat y/n 

you do.

the professor is clearly in a bad mood and taking it out on you, there’s nothing you can do about it.

wordlessly you gather your belongings and leave.

as you trudge back home the feeling of not being good enough sinks in your stomach like a heavy anchor at sea.

entering through the front door is a task and a half through your glossed over eyes but somehow you manage

you’ve kept salad in your room for most of the time after your argument and she seems to actually miss levi’s presence.

so when the first thing you see as soon as you enter is salad clawing at his bedroom door begging to be let in you aren’t surprised.

thankfully for you he’s yet to return from class and hasn’t been disturbed by the sounds.

at least that’s what you assume.

you look at salad and start sobbing

you wish you were a cat.

cats don’t get shit on for fucking up economics presentations that’s for sure.

shaking you try to hold yourself up against one of the walls

frankly, school stress is getting to you.

you tried hard on that presentation only for it to fail when it was worth a quarter of your grade.

A QUARTER...

TWENTY FIVE PERCENT...

salad nuzzles herself against your leg and you lean over to pick her up

she licks at your ear, it tickles and you laugh in between sobs

“you sure are good at comforting people huh?” you’re so worn out your laugh sounds half dead.

it’s all so pathetic. you standing in your living room wailing as you hold your pet cat like a baby.

but she doesn’t mind and let’s you cry to your hearts content.

“MEOW” salad loudly squeaks and you stroke her back but she only keeps at it “MEOWWWW.”

sensing that she’s bringing something to your attention you turn around

there stands levi awkwardly waving at you and you instinctually cover your face with your arm.

the smudged mascara is none of his business.

“wanna order pizza and talk about it?”

pursing your lips at the proposition you slowly lower your arm and scratch at the sleeve of your shirt.

"yeah, i’d love that.”

“KICKED YOU OUT THE LECTURE HALL?? YOU WORKED ON THAT FOR DAYS Y/N, DAYS??”

levi is beyond pissed he hasn’t even touched the second slice of his pizza after hearing how your presentation played out.

“it’s okay, it was probably going to go bad i can’t do anything right.”

levi’s silver eyes fog up in annoyance and you shut yourself up.

“you are the most able person i have met.”

head rocking up in surprise the confession is news to you.

“really?“

“you’re great at making pad thai, somehow you convinced me to keep that cat, i remember that other time you convinced a first year to bungee jump off a building for last years charity fundraiser.”

it truly is endearing how he doesn’t call you smart or witty or hard-working. none of that basic nonsense you’ve heard time and time again from everyone else.

the fact he’s naming the most random things makes your heart swell.

you burst into laughter remembering the first year’s quivering form and you wonder why levi even remembers that.

“if salad bothers you that much i could find a friend to look after her.”

levi looks at you like he’s just come face to face with a ghost.

“no? i like her, she might frustrate me and get in the way when i want to-” he stops himself fumbling over his sentence.

“when you want to?“ you’re leaning in closer intrigued what the rest of the sentence is.

shock flashes over his face but the next second it disappears.

taking a gulp of his water seemingly in preparation he looks you right in the eye.

“when i want to kiss you.”

and that’s all it takes for you to tug him by the shirt and slam his lips against yours, you giggle into the kiss as you situate yourself in his lap. hands ghosting over your hips he’s disoriented not sure where to place his palms but you don’t care. you’ve been waiting for this and despite his sloppy response the fact you’re finally doing what you’ve been fearing the most these past few weeks is only filling you with adrenaline.

“settle down.” he’s panting heavy and ragged. “i was meant to initiate it and look cool what the fuck??” he’s not mad, he’s just playing with you but that doesn’t stop you from getting into the role.

“and if i don’t settle?” you mischievously ask, levi’s hands are cupping your jaw he pushes your hair out of your face and simply gazes in awe.

he makes you feel so beautiful, it’s unreal.

“meow...” salad’s dissatisfied whining can be heard and then out of nowhere in one fluid motion she jumps onto levi’s chest.

“salad if you don’t mind i’m trying to make out with your dad.” you explain with a frown.

she doesn’t budge and instead a trickling sound can be heard, then a foul smell floats into the room and levi screams.

“Y/N THE LITTLE SHIT IS PEEING ON ME???”

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

The Study of Hearts

Master List

Warnings: Hospital talk, minor swearing

~~

“Hey Y/n, what’s been up with you today, doc?” You spare a quick glance over at the nurse who’d come up beside you, glancing away from the patient’s chart for only a second before returning to it. 

“Nothing’s up with me, I’ve just got a lot of patients today.” She scoffs instantly. You should have known better than to try and lie to Nurse Choi. She had been your head nurse during your internship, and your residency, she knew almost everything about you, and you were a fool to assume she wouldn’t notice your sudden drop in mood. 

“Don’t tell me that. We’ve had a fuller ward than this and you’ve never snapped at someone. That resident you scolded is still crying in the nurses station.” You feel a twinge of guilt at her words. The resident hadn’t really done anything wrong, but offered up the wrong medicine when you asked the group a question regarding a patient. You may have laid into them for longer than necessary about checking charts and allergies before handing out meds. “And this morning you actually shouted at the guy who took your parking spot. This isn’t like you.” You’re thankful the patient you’re currently looking at is asleep, recovering from a surgery that just ended. “So tell me what has the calmest, most level-headed doctor in the cardiology department so wound up.” You sigh deeply, setting the chart back into the sleeve at the end of his bed. 

“My boyfriend.” 

“The idol you swear you’re dating.” She huffs, somehow not believing you. You roll your eyes, deciding not to continue and simply walk away. No one ever believed you when it came to your boyfriend of nearly 4 years, and he wasn’t helping his own case either. “I just can’t believe an idol would date you, I’m sorry Y/n.” You spin back to the older woman, rising to your full height. You were sick and tired of people looking down on you for who you were dating as if they had any clue what was happening. 

“It’s Doctor L/n, Nurse Choi. You may refer to me on personal terms when we are outside of this hospital, but seeing as you refuse to respect my personal life, you are no longer privy to it.” She blinks up at you in confusion before nodding. You can almost feel the shock she emits.

“Yes, Doctor.” 

“Room 1134, Patient Kim Seungkwan needs to be prepped for anesthesia. Dr. Song will be here in an hour.” 

“Yes, Doctor.” She bows to you before turning away. 

“And Nurse Choi.” 

“Yes,Doctor?” There’s a hopeful gleam in her eyes when you call for her again. 

“Tell that resident to stop crying, if he can’t handle being reprimanded there is no place for him in a medical field.” Her shoulders slump again, but you can’t bring yourself to feel guilty. 

“Yes, Doctor L/n.” With one last curt nod to her you spin on your heels, stalking down the halls to your office. 

You’ve barely gotten the chance to start your computer before someone is knocking on your office door. 

“Who is it?” You ask, annoyance clear in your voice. 

“Someone told me you’re having a bad day.” The voice of the young Chairman has you standing immediately as he walks in. 

“Chairman Yoon, forgive me, I didn’t know it was you.” You bow, but he simply waves it off. 

“Come on, Y/n, it’s just us. What have I told you about bowing to me.” 

“Sorry Myungsoo, someone could have been behind you.” You chuckle dryly at your friend. “What do you want? I’m in the middle of something.” He holds up a small lunch box, waving it slightly. 

“I brought ice cream, but if you’re too busy I’m sure someone else will help me eat it.” 

“I’m never too busy for ice cream.” You relent, holding out your hands for the box. “And I guess your company too.” He takes the seat across from you, watching for a moment as you dig in. 

“So tell me, how come you’ve been such a bitch today?” His comment makes you choke slightly. 

“Yah, Myungsoo, what the hell?” 

“Come on, Nurse Choi’s upset, you yelled at a resident so bad he had to go home early.”

“He’s a crybaby.” You huff. 

“That’s besides the point. What’s eating at you?” You sigh, stabbing your spoon into your ice cream and setting it on your desk. 

“Mark.” 

“Huh, you’d think Mark eating you would make you happier.” His joke has your cheeks flushing instantly and you throw your napkin at him. 

“Yah! That’s not what I meant.” 

“What about Mark? I heard their tour ended a few days ago.” You clench your teeth slightly, recalling exactly what’s got you so pissed off.

“They got home last night, at least BamBam says they did, only Mark didn’t text, call, anything. I only found out they got back in when BamBam posted a selca.” “So you’re mad because he didn’t come see you?” 

“I’m mad because I’m fucking sick of it!” You explode, slamming your hand on the desk, making him jump. “He refuses to tell anyone we’ve been dating for almost 4 years, so everyone thinks I’m some delusional fangirl. He refuses to talk about the possibility of moving in together, we never go out when he’s in the country, and when he’s on tour I barely get a text once a week. He’s never met my friends or my parents and it kinda feels like he doesn’t even want to be in a relationship with me.” You finish your rant with a huff, raking your fingers through your hair. “He’s been managing to piss me off without even talking to me.” 

“Sugar, I don’t think you’re mad, I think you’re hurt.” He begins, setting his own treat down, “Anger is a secondary emotion.” 

“I know that, I did take psychology.” You grumble. 

“So what’s really making you so upset?” You cross your arms on the desk, hiding your face in them. 

“What if he doesn’t want to be with me any more? What if he just sees me as a burden these days and is trying to make me break up with him, so he doesn’t feel bad?” Myungsoo sighs, reaching out to rub your arm soothingly. 

“I think if you’re questioning the relationship, you should either talk to him, or break it off.” 

“I know, I’m just not sure if I’m ready for that. I really love him, you know?” 

“Chairman Yoon, we have a meeting sir.” A voice announces, knocking on the door. 

“You should go, thanks for the ice cream, and letting me vent.” 

“No problem, sugar, you should call him.” 

“I will.” The moment the door shuts behind him you pull your phone out of your bag, and pull up his contact. He doesn’t pick up, but you aren’t shocked. “Hey Mark, I heard you got in last night, I hope you’re doing alright. Look, I uh, I didn’t call for no reason. I’ve been thinking, and I don’t think it’s going to work out between us. There’s just so much missing between us, like,” You scoff lightly, “Like love. So yeah, I uh, think we should break up.” You look up to the ceiling, blinking back tears. “I get off at 11 tonight, if you want to call me back then. I doubt you will though, you never seem to want to talk to me any other time. Either way, I have Thursday off, you can come get anything you left at my apartment then. Bye.” You hang up quickly, before shutting your phone off and tossing it in your bag. You felt like sobbing, just finally crying and letting it all out, but you knew you couldn’t, you had patients to help, and they were the priority. 

Of course, by the time 10:45 rolled around, you were dead on your feet, your brain hurt and you were about 2 seconds from cracking open the emergency wine you kept in the fridge in your office. 

“Sir, I may not be a pulmonologist, but I can tell you that smoking combined with not exercising are a major factor in why your heart is damaged.” You insist, trying not to roll your eyes at the man as he scoffs. 

“I don’t think you’re qualified to talk to me about this.” 

“Sir, I’m-”

“Doctor L/n to Emergency Care, paging Doctor L/n to Emergency Care.” 

“Mother-” You cut yourself off with a huff, “Sir, while you are in my care, it is my duty to offer you medical advice. You need to cut back on the cigarettes or quit entirely. While you’re in this hospital you are not welcome to smoke unless outside in a designated area, with a nurse present. Good night.” You bow, quickly exiting the room before you lose your cool and punch him. 

“Doctor L/n, you’re needed in-”

“I heard,” You interrupt the resident who ran up to you. “What’s going on?” 

“It’s a patient. He was attacked by a mob. He seems alright but he refuses to leave without seeing you.” The kid explains, holding the elevator door for you.

“Is he having trouble breathing? Shortness of breath, chest pain?” 

“No, I haven’t seen his chart yet, but as far as I’m aware he only has a few cuts and bruises, if there are any internal injuries, it would likely be contusions on his ribs or-”

“Spleen, why on earth am I being called?” You’re racking your brain for some kind of answer when the elevator door opens. 

“Ah doctor, you’re here.” The head of the ER sighs, meeting you only a few steps away from the lift, “Good. This way.” She begins leading you down one of the quieter halls.  

“Jangmi, tell me you have some grasp as to why someone needs a cardiologist here right now.” You bite at the inside of your lip, completely lost as to why someone might need you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n, he’s insistent and he’s mentioned you by name several times. Besides I’d rather his company continued to send their idols here.” 

“Company?” You ask, just as she opens the door. “Who-” “Oh thank god, the good doctor is here, now will you stop being a baby?” A familiar voice asks, and your heart leaps into your throat as you round the privacy curtain. There, sitting on the bed, looking pitiful in the hospital clothes, was Mark Tuan. You have to bite back tears as you pick up his chart. He had several bruises already forming on the skin you could see, and a split in his lip. 

“Mark Tuan what the hell happened to you?” Blood pressure, normal. Pupillary response, normal. No signs of concussion or brain trauma. 

“Some sasaengs started fighting as we were trying to leave, Mark got caught in the middle.” Jackson explains, toying with the IV stand. “Hey what does this button do, Y/n.” 

“Don’t touch it, Jackson.” Your response is instant and almost habitual, having had to slap his hand away from your tools plenty of times. 

“I’m sorry, Doctor L/n, do you know these men? Personally?” Jangmi asks, noticing the way JB lingers at your shoulder and Jackson immediately stops toying with things. 

“You could say that.” You muse, “Your vitals seem fine, though your heart rate has gone up slightly.” You can’t help the cheeky smile that dances onto your face. No, you broke up with him. You set his chart back down, grabbing his chin softly to turn his face towards the light. “You’ll have a few bruises, but nothing your make up artist can’t cover.” 

“Y/n-”

“So you have any trouble breathing? Shortness of breath, chest pain, headaches?” You ignore his plea of your name in favor of the heart monitor next to him. 

“No I’m fine.” 

“Then why did you beg a cardiologist to come see you?” You snap, turning on him. “If you wanted to finally talk to me, you could have waited fifteen minutes. Instead you’ve wasted the time of not one, but two doctors, at least one of our residents and several members of the nursing staff. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“What do I have to say? What about you? You broke up with me over a voicemail.” He shouted back, and you watch from the corner of your eye as everyone in the room takes a step back from the two of you. 

“Well if you ever pick up your damn phone when I call, I could have broken up with you like that.” Your voice is somehow level, despite how hurt and angry you are. 

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you all day.” Well, fuck, okay that was on you. “I didn’t want to run into you like this, but I figured ‘fuck it, you work here anyway’ might as well see you.” 

“So instead of waiting to be discharged and coming up to my department you worry me sick by begging me to see you like this? Do you know how scary it is to be paged down here? I was terrified someone’s heart had stopped beating, or I was going to need to perform an emergency surgery and I found you sitting here, beaten up instead.” The dam breaks, and the first tears begin streaming down your face. “The second I heard JB’s voice I was terrified I was about to have to save your life. After everything I told you about my work, about my fears of finding you on my table one day, how dare you use that against me.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Mark jumps up, pulling you into a tight hug as you cry into his shoulder. 

“You’re the worst.” 

“I know. I know I’ve been shitty. I should be taking you out and showing you off and I haven’t been. I’ve been so scared that Aghase might reject you, I never realized I was the one doing the rejecting. Please give me a second chance.” 

“Promise me you’ll change?”

“For you, in a heartbeat.” 

“Um, Dr. L/n.” Jangmi’s voice has you pulling away from Mark, wiping your eyes on the cuffs of your sleeve.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Seo.” You laugh, trying to calm down. “I’ll handle his discharge paperwork.” 

“Of course, Doctor.” She chuckles softly, offering you all a bow before exiting the room. 

“You really broke up with him over voicemail?” JB asks, clearly trying not to laugh.

“I was upset.” You defend. “I also yelled at several people and told one of my closest friend’s to go fuck herself.” 

“Well, I’m declining your break up attempt, you didn’t tell me directly, so it doesn’t count.” Mark decides, pressing a kiss to your cheek as you walk out of the room. Nurse Choi is standing immediately outside the door, discharge paperwork in hand. 

“Oh, Nurse Choi, I thought you were up in Cardiology still?” You greet. 

“Dr. Seo asked me to deliver this personally.” Her eyes are wide as she sees Mark’s arm around your waist and the other boys just behind you. “It seems I owe you an apology, Dr. L/n.” 

“Yes you do. I’ll take those.” She sets the clipboard into your outstretched hand with a bow, moving to walk away. You saw the slump in her shoulders as she walked away, and the guilt crept into your chest. “Before you go,” Your call has her turning back to face you. “Noon, Saturday, come have lunch with me? Please Jisoo?” The smile that erupts on her face is enough to make you feel better. 

“Of course, Y/n, see you then.” 

[trensu]

Episode 6: the One Where LWJ is Drunk and Gets Married

YES, GUYS GALS AND NB PALS, WE ARE AT THIS MOST WONDERFUL EPISODE.

OUR FIRST INTRODUCTION TO DRUNKJ!LWJ

AND THE HANDFASTING THAT INSPIRED A MILLION FICS

Okay, to set the scene, we’ve got JC, NHS and WWX having a sneaky drinking party with Forbidden Alcohol

Obviously, LWJ can spidey-sense when a rule is being violently broken so he appears at the scene of the crime to BREAK UP THE PARTY (or possibly a threesome?? He’s not sure but he’s gonna put a stop to that immediately)

HIS SERIOUS BB FACE IS SUPER ADORABLE HERE, GUYS

LIKE, I’M MORE PARTIAL TO WWX BUT UGH, LWJ IS SO CUTE HERE???

IT’S AWFUL

WWX: *bounces right into lwj’s space* join us for a drink lan zhan!! We earned it after defeating the Haunted Water!!

LWJ: *stares over wwx’s shoulder* alcohol is forbidden in the cloud recesses

WHY WON’T YOU LOOK HIM IN THE FACE, LWJ?? IS IT BECAUSE HE’S SO CLOSE TO YOU SUDDENLY???

WWX: chill out dude *playfully tugs on lwj’s sleeve*

Oh man, the glare that lwj shoots at wwx’s hand here could have started a fire. I mean, it must have at least burned a little with how quickly wwx lets go

LWJ: Report to the Punishment Chamber

Did they have to call it ‘punishment chamber’??

It sounds like some kind of kinky sex dungeon, which, like, to each their own,(i’ll read some kinky sex dungeon fic every once and a while, myself)

But this is Ancient Fantasy China summer school…seems a little inappropriate in context

ANYWAY

WWX again tries to coax LWJ in to having a drink with them. He doesn’t understand how someone can just…not drink alcohol. Oh wwx, you budding alcoholic you

And here WWX nobly sacrifices himself to save his drunk buddies by distracting lwj (who was about to call for backup, like a narc) and pins some sort of mind-control talisman on him

Wwx: sit and have a drink with me!

Lwj: *sits down and takes a shot*

Lwj: *passes out*

Wwx: omg i killed him. WAKE UP YOU CAN’T STAY HERE!! YOU HAVE TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!! 

Wwx: *proceeds to gently guide lwj onto the bed*

You know after that initial panic, wwx looks too damn pleased with himself, especially after he gets lwj to call him wei-gege

Wwx suddenly notices that lwj’s ribbon is off kilter and informs him of it bc that’s what friends do

Wwx: your ribbon is crooked

Lwj: *scandalized gasp* crooked??

Why’s he so adorable when he’s drunk?? LOOK AT HIM TRYING TO SEE HIS OWN FOREHEAD AND GETTING ALL CROSS-EYED, WHAT A CUTIE

Wwx: i can help!! 

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand* Go Away

Wwx: you’re making it worse!!

Lwj: *slaps wwx’s hand away harder* DON’T TOUCH! THE RIBBON IS ONLY FOR FAMILY AND SIGNIFICANT OTHERS

And now we have a way to measure their queer queer love for each other without making the censors mad

How does this show do it?? This is gayer than most of the stuff aired in the US and the US doesn’t even have that kind of censorship laws media producers here are a bunch of COWARDS, disney i’m looking at you

Wwx: lol, significant others, really?

Lwj: what’s so funny

Wwx: nobody’s gonna marry into the lan clan with your thousands of dumb rules and chronic allergy to fun

LOLOLOL BOY HAS NO CLUE. JUST YOU WAIT WWX, YOU’RE GONNA EAT THOSE WORDS

Wwx: nope, you are gonna be Forever Alone

Lwj: …that’s fine

This is actually kind of heartbreaking tbh

He’s so resigned and pretending so hard not to care!!

HE TRULY BELIEVES HE’S NOT LOVABLE *UGLY CRYING*

Idk how the actor did it bc lwj still has a very placid expression on his face but it somehow manages to convey like, a sense of loneliness while still looking adorably drunk?? Idk man, i think black magic might be involved

All this to say POOR BB LAN ZHAN, COME HERE SWEETIE AND LET ME HUG YOU. YOU’RE GONNA BE FINE, I SWEAR.

Wwx is so incredulous at this response. Like he totally believes lwj would be okay staying alone forever but he doesn’t understand it

Bc wwx is a dumb teenage boy who doesn’t yet have the emotional intelligence to see that lwj is just saying that bc he’s scared and hurting

Now we get to see an acute case of Foot-in-Mouth Syndrome like we did back in episode 2!

Wwx: your mother must be so bored here all the time

DAMN IT WWX

WHAT IS IT WITH HIM AND BRINGING UP PEOPLE’S DEAD MOTHERS???

LWJ: i don’t have a mother 

He says flatly HIDING HIS SORROW

*UGLY SOBBING*

HE’S SO SAD AND LONELY GUYS

IT HURTS TO LOOK AT

WWX: you can’t not have a mother! Somebody gave birth to…oh.

There’s a crack vid somewhere on youtube with this scene voiced over “it was at that moment he realized…he Fucked Up”

And it’s true

Dumb boy

Here WWX makes up by sharing his sad orphan story with LWJ. it’s so sweet

THEIR SONG IS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE THIS EXCHANGE HAPPENS

UGH THIS SHOW

LISTEN, ALL THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY AND WE’RE BARELY 10 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE

LIKE, WHAT??

HOW. HOW CAN YOU GIVE ME SO MANY FEELINGS IN TEN MINUTES. THE FIRST TEN MINUTES OF THE EP EVEN.

WWX: my parents died when i was four and I can’t remember their faces–but i do remember getting chased by feral dogs

POOR BB WWX

HE CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THEIR FACES 

OH, but we do get to see Actual BB!wwx in a brief flashback (within a flashback, remember this summer school business is not present time, how weird is that) and he’s riding a donkey while his mama and papa walk beside him. It’s adorable.

And after all that Emotional Vulnerability, he’s like “i’ll drink to that bro!” and makes a toast

I actually kind of like the toast he makes here with lwj tho

He tells him “may we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is worth forgetting”

Idk if that’s like, a traditional toast or something he made up on the spot, but i like it

We get a brief moment of plot development here. 

AND OOOOH, THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET IN TROUBLE!!

So some Lan SNITCH barges into the room where lqr and lxc are at and is all “we caught wwx drinking Forbidden Alcohol!” and lxc’s expression is all gently amused

but then Lan Snitch continues “LWJ was with him!!” and lxc’s amused expression quickly morphs into Very Alarmed

(right before that all happened tho we get to see lwj fall out of bed, still passed out drunk and wwx laughs at him. I can’t even hold that against him bc i totally laughed at lwj too)

The camera now shows us some frankly HORRIFYING beating sticks (paddles?? Do they qualify as paddles?? THEY’RE HUGE AND SCARY AND MADE OF NIGHTMARES)

And bc LWJ is too honorable for his own good

Lwj: i am at fault and accept my punishment!

And goes on his knees to willingly get beaten. STOP THAT LWJ

WWX IMMEDIATELY steps in to take the blame, like no, it’s actually my fault bc i forced him to drink when he didn’t want to. LAN ZHAN SHOULDN’T GET PUNISHED!!

LQR: (proving that lans are all Dramatique) ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN CLOUD RECESSES??

Take a chill pill, old man. A teenager getting drunk is not gonna start the apocalypse (probably)

And here lwj completely ignores wwx’s attempt to absolve him and is all no, I Made a Mistake and Must Get Punished 

Wwx: STOP ASKING FOR PUNISHMENT YOU IDIOT

So the punishment is kind of…harsh, but also lol bc as soon as wwx sees lwj take the beating without flinching or even staggering under the strength of the hits (lwj is truly a stronger man than i; one look at those Nightmare Sticks I would’ve run for the hills), he grits his teeth and forces himself to stay steady

Wwx: *internally but you can totally read it in his face* i’m not gonna let that bastard one-up me!! I have WAY more experience taking punishments. I am the punishment KING.

Okay so that all happens and afterwards WINGMAN LXC STRIKES AGAIN

LXC: wwx, you should definitely visit the family’s private cold spring

LXC: you know, so you can heal faster and not miss class

LXC: not for any other reason

I’D LIKE TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO THANK GOD AND ALSO JESUS FOR THE UPCOMING SCENE

WE ARE AT THE COLD SPRING

LOOK AT WWX RUNNING TOWARDS LWJ

WET, HALF-NAKED LWJ

Wwx: *leans coquettishly against a tree thing and pouts* why didn’t you tell me about this spring? Friends don’t keep secrets from friends!!

wwx, you’re so clever, how can you be so stupid – boy is flirting at max level and doesn’t even realize it???

Lwj: HOW ARE YOU EVEN HERE *frantically robes up like some virginal maiden which he kinda is*

Wwx: your brother told me!

Lwj: *internally* brother why

And here wwx gets into the cold spring

Wwx: so cold so cold, let me get close to you where it’s warmer~! *dives right into lwj’s personal bubble*

Lwj: *takes a HUGE step back*

Wwx: *pouts* you know i didn’t like you much before but after our Romantic Moonlit Sword Fight and our Sword Fight By the Waterfall, i’ve decided i like you a lot and we should definitely be friends forever

Lwj: *doesn’t even look at wwx* That’s Not Necessary

Wwx: before you reject me, let me show you all the ~benefits~ to being my friend! *starts to strip*

(I’M NOT EVEN KIDDING YOU, HE LITERALLY SAID BENEFITS AND STARTED TO GET NAKED)

LWJ *is Horrified in a Repressed Gay Way* WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WWX: getting naked?? To heal better?? I thought this was obvious???

LWJ: *determinedly walks away*

WWX: wait don’t leave!! I’ll keep my clothes on! Anyway you should definitely visit me in yunmeng and i can pick lotus seeds for you. That’s totally what i meant about benefits.

LWJ: no

WWX: i can also introduce you to all the pretty girls there!

I CRACK UP EVERY TIME AT THIS. WWX, THAT IS A WHOLE GAY BOY YOU’RE TALKING TO, OH MY GOD

Then it turns out the cold spring is actually Haunted Water 2: This Time It’s Personal and tries to drown them

See this is why i don’t trust any bodies of water

They’re all out to get us

AND NOW WE GET TO THE  CAVE OF WONDERS (or cold pond cave, whatev)

Wwx: what is happening

Lwj: *is fascinated by the cave of wonders*

Lwj: *internally* ooooh Magic Guqin!! (BECAUSE HE’S A NERD LOLOL)

Magic Guqin: NOT TODAY SATAN *attacks wwx*

Wwx: WHY IS IT ATTACKING ME, I DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING YET!!

brief pause here to point out that we meet the bunnies now!! Hello bunnies!!! Everyone in the fandom loves you~!!! 💗💗💗

Okay so Magic Guqin continues to attack wwx but wwx is a Clever Boy and figures out that it’s only attacking him because he doesn’t have a sacred lan ribbon

Wwx: lwj, quick, give me your ribbon!

Lwj: *FLIES RIGHT OVER TO WWX and proceeds to bind their wrists together with the SACRED RIBBON ONLY FAMILY ANd S.O.’s CAN TOUCH*

Then the camera zooms in on the metal piece of the ribbon that is now swaying gently between them like, Subtlety? Never heard of her!

Camera: yep, this is totally a straight thing that straight bros do together

So now that they’re bound together for eternity the boys approach the Magic Guqin

Lwj slaps wwx’s hands away from the guqin here – just bc i let you touch the sacred ribbon doesn’t mean you can touch the magic guqin that tried to murder you

BC LWJ IS A MUSIC NERD AND IS TOTALLY GEEKING OUT OVER THE PRECIOUS MUSICAL HEIRLOOM

LWJ proceeds to reverently play the Magic Guqin and we have this moment where he’s like, floating in space surrounded by glowy blue lights??

Idk man, it’s weird but we’ll roll with it

This is the first time we see him communicate with spirits using music, btw. 

Now we meet Lan Yi!! Who is a badass and important for plot reasons but the Valid Reason she’s mentioned here is because SHE OFFICIATES THE WANGXIAN WEDDING (bc we’ve already established that we’re not here for the plot lol)

the boys are tied together with the sacred ribbon and then they bow to a clan elder. How is that not, bare minimum, a handfasting??? 

Okay, technically, lwj bowed to the elder first to show respect while wwx stood there all stunned until lwj reminded him of the Importance of Manners. Then wwx bowed. But I’m pretty sure that still counts.

“You two being here must be destiny!” lan yi says, “i’m gonna do some plot exposition so pay attention.”

Thankfully we are not lwj or wwx so we don’t have to pay attention at all!!

At some point, wwx makes a clever comment and lan yi is all “wwx you’re as smart as i thought!! 

Yes yes i definitely approve of you marrying my great great great grand-son/nephew/whatever the heck he is, idk i’ve been in this cave too long with only bunnies for company" (🎶bunnies are better than people, buns don’t you think that’s true~?🎶 I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT REFERENCE, DISNEY YOU STILL SUCK I JUST HAVE POOR SELF-RESTRAINT)

Okay, she for real complimented wwx’s intelligence (bc I guess everyone’s hot for WWX’s big brain? Idk) but i’m pretty sure she was thinking the rest of that really loudly in her head

Then more plot stuff happens and the episode ends!!!

Beautiful, phenomenal episode. One of the MOST IMPORTANT Wangxian episodes we have!! 100/10 stars, would watch again.

Return to Masterpost

[whoareurl]

birthday fic for softersteve <3

i’ve been gone for ages soz but i had to pop by and give @softersteve some birthday love because i still read their blog religiously for all the soft steve content so here’s some shrinkyclinks of my own. it’s a bit light on snez but there’s plenty of whump! and i might have an idea for a part 2 but we’ll see

-

By the time spring break rolls around, Steve is practically dead on his feet. Midterms floored him and he’d spent so much time in the art building over the past two weeks that he wouldn’t be surprised if he’s developed a conditioned rage response to the hideous 80s wallpaper in his favourite workroom. So, when it comes time to pack for their week-long trip home, Bucky is the one who does most of the hard work. The lucky bastards in engineering don’t have midterms in the spring semester and the bright-eyed innocence in Bucky’s eyes kinda makes Steve want to stab him in the hand with a fork. 

“Got everything?” Bucky asks as Steve slips into the passenger seat, dosed up on Ambien and fully prepared to fall asleep as soon as they hit the interstate. It’s only a two hour drive, much shorter than what many students have to endure, but it’s still more than Steve’s stomach can handle, especially with all the stress he’s been under lately. Besides, his joints have been aching all day and the beginning of spring allergy season is making him congested so he’s happy for the option of a little time out. “All your meds?”

Steve rolls his eyes fondly, already feeling heavy-lidded. “Yes, ma.”

Bucky grins and, like the dickhead he is, plays up his role. “Are you sure you don’t need the bathroom before we leave?”

Steve slaps him and buckles himself in. “Jerk.”

“Punk,” Bucky shoots back and starts the engine. “I’m putting on my country playlist so you’re just gonna have to deal until the meds knock you out.”

Steve groans but it’s a playful groan. Despite his protests, Steve doesn’t actually hate the country songs Bucky adores. Well, not all of them. And he’s gonna be out cold in about twenty minutes so he figures it’s only fair to indulge Bucky’s garbage music taste.

“You’re the boss,” he says, firing off a mocking salute before tucking his school sweatshirt up between his neck and his shoulder and settling in for the ride.

He expects to be woken by Bucky telling him they’ve arrived so it’s with some surprise and confusion that Steve finds himself awake barely an hour later with an absolute cacophony of bells ringing in his head and a thin sheen of sweat all over his skin. He lets out a little groan and makes an aborted move to get Bucky’s attention before he remembers that he’s driving. 

“B-Buck,” he croaks out without ever really deciding to speak. 

Bucky hums gently and, when he looks over at Steve, he pales quite significantly. “Stevie? What’s wrong? You gonna be sick?”

As he’s speaking, Bucky is already turning the music off and reaching blindly behind him for a plastic bag which he thrusts into Steve’s lap as a makeshift sickbag. Steve coughs and then he can’t stop coughing. And then he thinks back to the midterms and the stress and the all-nighters and he feels a weight settle heavily on his shoulders. So, it wasn’t allergies. He’s not sure if the timing is excellent or awful since now he’s not going to be enjoying his time off but at least he won’t be missing class. Either way, this is already shaping up to be one hell of a spring cold.

“You’re running a fever,” Bucky worries as he briefly touches Steve’s forehead, glancing between Steve and the road.

“I know!” Steve snaps and feels immediately guilty. “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Bucky returns and he doesn’t even sound fazed. Ambien-fuelled Steve isn’t exactly known for being a barrel of laughs. And right now, he feels like garbage. “We’re about 45 minutes out. You gonna be okay?”

Steve sighs and is about to make a half-hearted quip about not having much choice when he’s suddenly overtaken by a desperate need to sneeze.

“Heh’NGXshoo!” Steve is thrown forward with the unexpected force of it and stays there when he can feel another one building. “EhYISHHew! NXGH’huh!”

“Don’t stifle,” Bucky mumbles. Steve feels Bucky’s hand land on his back and rub along the bumps of his spine. 

Without tissues, the best Steve can do is wipe his nose on the cuff of his hoodie and sniffle the rest back. It’s, fundamentally, super fucking gross. God, he’s so cold and he cannot stop shivering. The fact that his t-shirt is soaked with cold sweat certainly isn’t helping but he’s sure as hell not going to take it off. Because that would mean having to take his hoodie off and the thought makes him want to cry. Instead, he kicks off his shoes and brings his knees up to his chest, grateful, for once in his life, that he’s small enough to curl up in Bucky’s passenger seat. 

“Services coming up,” Bucky says. Without opening his eyes, Steve knows exactly the worried expression Bucky is wearing by the tone of his voice. “I can pick up some tissues?”

Steve sniffles, feeling somewhat pitiful. Tissues would certainly be good. But they’ll get there faster if they don’t stop. It’s a dilemma but, in the end, when another violent shiver wracks through him, Bucky makes the decision for him.

“Alright. Tissues and a blanket,” he says, cranking up the heat and angling the blowers so they’re all pointed at Steve. 

When they’re parked in the service station, Bucky reaches over to push Steve’s sweaty hair off his forehead. “You don’t do anything by halves, huh, Stevie?” He says gently, leaning in to kiss Steve’s forehead. “I’ll be right back. Don’t do anything stupid?”

“Can’t. You’re taking all the stupid,” Steve mumbles, forcing a weak smile. This seems so appease Bucky somewhat and he smiles back. 

“Five minutes,” he says, and then he’s gone. 

Steve feels awful, there’s no denying it. The joint pain he’d been feeling earlier has progressed from a dull ache to something a bit more aggressive, particularly in his hips, and the congestion in his sinuses has spread down into his upper chest. He feels the tightness pulling just below his collarbones and resigns himself to the fact that this is going to be a nightmare of a week.

True to his word, Bucky returns quickly and throws a fleece blanket over Steve’s shivering body. “Sorry, pal, all they had were Yankees blankets.”

Steve makes a face. “I better not have Gerrit Cole’s face on me right now,” he grumbles, cracking one eye open to look at Bucky.

Bucky laughs, ripping open a fresh box of tissues and settling it near the gear shift. “You gonna take it off if he’s on there?”

“Fuck off,” Steve grumbles, opting not to look and live in warm, comfortable denial. 

His next breath catches deep in his chest and he curls in on himself with another rattling cough. Thankfully, he gets it under control before Bucky starts rummaging through the glove box for his inhaler. He’s actually gone one in his pocket thank you very much. Not that anybody ever bothers checking anymore. No, his reputation for leaving it at home - either out of forgetfulness or, for one memorable year in middle school, sheer stubbornness - has pretty much put an end to anybody bothering to check if he’s carrying one before they hand him another. He supposes he should be touched and, on a good day, he is. But today is not a good day. Today is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and Steve just wants to be asleep.

“Not long now, Stevie,” Bucky says soothingly. Steve wants to be annoyed because he’s not a child but he can’t find it in himself because, damnit, Bucky’s voice is actually soothing when he talks like that. 

Fuck, he’s so in love.

~ 

By the time they’re pulling up outside Sarah Rogers’s house, Steve feels truly miserable. He’d started feeling nauseous about ten minutes ago and had opened the window for some air which only brought back his earlier shivers with a vengeance. And, to top it all off, he saw the Yankees logo on the damn blanket. Today sucked. 

“Come on, babydoll,” Bucky says as he helps Steve out of the car. 

Somewhat reluctantly, Steve abandons the traitorous blanket in the car but snags the box of tissues and lets Bucky sling his arm around his shoulders as they head up to the door. As usual, Bucky rings the doorbell to let Sarah know they’re there and then heads inside. Steve shivers involuntarily at the warmth of the house and catches a few, itchy sneezes into a fresh handful of tissues. 

His nose hasn’t stopped running since it started nearly an hour ago and all he wants is a change of clothes and a nap.

“My boys!” Sarah exclaims as she comes out of the living room to greet them, expression softening when she sees the state of her son. 

That expression is just too much for Steve who detaches himself from Bucky and wraps his mother up in a hug. He can’t smell anything through his stuffy nose but he can imagine the homely way she always smells and has to blink back tears. God, he’s a mess. He blames the Ambien more than anything. Everybody knows they fuck with you if you don’t sleep long enough.

“Aw, honey,” Sarah mutters into Steve’s hair, running a hand up and down his back. “You shouldn’t have come all this way if you weren’t feeling well. I’ll still be here in the summer.”

“Didn’t feel bad until we left,” Steve admits, somehow completely forgetting how much worse that makes his cold sound. 

Sarah frowns and holds him at arms length, looking him up and down. “That came on fast. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay, Ma,” Steve starts but Bucky interrupts before he can offer any platitudes. 

“Like hell you are,” Bucky grumbles, slipping his arm around Steve’s waist. “Bed. Let’s go.”

Steve huffs, his indignation giving him the strength to stand his ground. “I’m fine.”

Bucky yawns. “Who said it was for you? I drove all the way here. I need a nap.”

“Well, you can go without me,” Steve says, unsure why exactly he’s continuing this argument. He wants to go to bed. But he’s not going because he’s told to, even if it is Bucky and Ma.

Bucky pouts. “But I sleep better with you there.”

That bastard. Steve knows what he’s doing. He’s used this tactic time and again and the worst part is that it always works. It’s working now. Steve knows he’s going to agree even before his Ma presses a kiss to his cheek and says, “Take the guest bed, boys. You’ll have more space.”

So Steve lets Bucky drag him upstairs, lets Bucky dig out a sleep shirt for him while he gets undressed, lets Bucky pull him tight against his side and tuck a hot water bottle against his back. He gives in. He cuddles up close and drifts off tracing the curve of Bucky’s hip bone with his fingers. 

Bucky’s so beautiful. Steve doesn’t know how he got so lucky. 

“Marry me,” he whispers as he finally drops off the edge of the cliff into sleep.

part two

[team-science-mega-nerds]

Fictober Prompt: “You keep me warm”

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: Alex x Sam

This isn’t her first choice. In fact, this isn’t even her last choice. Sam hadn’t really considered the idea at all until she’d heard that the vet’s office was all filled up on slots for the weekend and Sam would have to pay $75 more a night, just to board her pup at someplace fancier. It’s not that she doesn’t love her little guy more than anything in the world, but she barely had enough money to get home and go to her aunt’s funeral, she certainly couldn’t afford this. 

And then it hits her. Literally, as it turns out.

Her neighbor is heading toward the apartment right across the hall from Sam’s and bumps right into Sam’s side with a homf. “Ohmygod!” Sam’s eyes widen when she sees that her neighbor, Alex, is carrying a large 3D printer. “Sorry,” Alex mumbles as she struggles to open her door while also balancing the printer. 

“Oh. Hi. Do you need…?” Sam reaches for Alex’s keychain and sees that there are about fifty keys on the ring. “Jesus.”

“Yeah, I work in a lab. Lots of hush-hush stuff. It’s the small gold one,” Alex points out. Sam finds the key and opens the door for Alex. While Alex waddles her way into her apartment - which is a surprising mix of eclectic trinkets, bold colors, and three different coffee makers - Sam gets an idea. 

“Hey, are you busy today slash tomorrow?” Alex puts the printer in the corner of the room and turns toward Sam with something that resembles suspicion in her eyes. “I...so my aunt’s dead.”

“Oh god.”

“Her funeral is tomorrow and I need to...but then there’s my dog and I kinda need someone to…” Sam runs her fingers through her hair. “Do you mind watching him for two days? I’ll pay you and he’s really good. Like really good. But needy. Like mother like doggo,” Sam pauses for a laugh, Alex continues to look slightly confused. “I can pack up everything and write what he needs, it’s just-.”

“Say no more. I love dogs.” Sam doesn’t exactly know that she can trust Alex but she knows that Alex organizes game nights at the apartment complex. And that she seems to have a stable - probably very weird too - job. But Sam doesn’t have much of a choice. Alex is so eager and happy when Sam brings her dog over that she thinks it just might work. 

“Um, I should give you my number. Just in case. I mean...nothing will go wrong, obviously, but...just in case.” They exchange numbers while Sam’s dog walks around Alex’s apartment smelling everything. Sam gives Alex a warm smile, kisses her pup on the head, and gathers her things to go to the airport. 

Which leaves Alex, now, in a bind. Alex does the only thing she can think to do which is turn on her phone, hit her speed dial, and wait. Elated brown eyes stare at her, so Alex seeks out treats to toss his way. “Good boy, who’s a good boy.” Alex knows that this is how it’s done because she’s gone to a dog park with Kara. Gentle head rubs, a little scratch of the ears, and dogs are all yours. “You are so cute, aren’t you, Chewy?” The tail-wagging seems like a good sign so Alex keeps scratching and feeding the dog treats until she hears a loud knock at her door. “It’s open, come in!” 

“Are you on crack?” This is a totally normal thing for Lucy to say but the way her eyes are popping out of their sockets like she’s some kind of creepy rag doll unnerves Alex a little bit. “You got a dog?” Lucy flings her bag on Alex’s couch and walks over to survey the situation. “You’re allergic to dogs, you absolute moron.” 

“I know that!” Alex continues petting Chewy. “Ignore her, she’s rude,” She tells him. 

Lucy dramatically sniffs the air. “What is it that I smell? Is it the dog or…” Lucy gets really close to Alex and gives her a big whiff. “Is that the stench of you going out of your way for a hot girl?”

“I’m not going out of my way. I’m being friendly. Neighborly.” 

“Okay, Mr. Rogers.” 

“I called you because I need to go to CVS and get some allergy meds. Can you stay here for me?”

“Sure,” Lucy says, already laying on the floor and playing with Chewy. “What’s this big guy’s name?” 

“Chewy,” Alex tells her. Then she remembers, “It’s short for Chewbarka.” Alex can still hear Lucy laughing even as she’s outside of her apartment and walking down the street toward the pharmacy. Okay, Alex will admit it, she thinks Sam is hot. In fact, Alex had mentioned it to Kara as soon as Sam moved across the hall. They occasionally interacted but never to the extent of anything substantial. Until today. She supposes that’s why she jumped at the chance. She didn’t have anything to do this weekend except play with her new 3D printer and she really did like dogs, even if they made her sneeze and itch like crazy. 

Alex’s heart warms at the sight of Chewy getting his belly rubbed when she return. Just as Alex joins in on the action, “I’d stay but I have to get to work.” 

“All good. I’ll be fine here.” 

“Sureee…” Lucy grabs her bag and slings it over her shoulder. “Exactly how hot is this woman?” Alex pulls up Sam’s Instagram and shows it to Lucy. “...don’t fuck it up with the dog and you might actually have a chance, Danvers.” 

Alex prepares herself for the worst. She sets up Chewy’s bed, makes sure she gets the exact measurements of food correct, gives him filtered water, and takes him on a long walk. Alex wonders if this is what it’s like to be a parent. Constantly thinking about someone other than yourself and being too stressed to function. Alex is shocked that all Chewy seems to want to do is cuddle up next to her and watch Netflix.

At one point, Chewy is sprawled out on top of Alex, leaving her hardly any room to breathe, but it’s so damn cute that Alex has to take a selfie. And then...she sends it to Sam. “Why did I do that?” She mumbles to herself, waking up Chewy just enough that he gives her a big lick on her cheek. “What do you wanna watch? Maybe we can find a dog movie?” Alex scrolls around her Netflix. “Dogs always die in movies though…” Alex’s eyes find her printer and she smiles. “I can make you a bunch of dog accessories?” Alex suggests and Chewy gives her another kiss. 

That’ll have to do. 

The thing that Alex realized a very young age was that once she starts a task, she tends to go overboard. Her intention was making a little dog tag for Chewy but what she ends up making is a dog tag, armor so he can be a knight for Halloween, bunny ears in case he wants a second costume, a food dispenser, and sixteen different toys he could play with. “Oh shit, that’s...a lot.” Alex’s phone buzzes and she sees that it’s a text from Sam. 

[SAM]: this is maybe the best picture I’ve ever received, you two look so cute!

Alex doesn’t dwell on the fact that Sam called her cute. There’s a dog involved, anyone is cute with a dog. “Chewy, what do I say?” Chewy doesn’t offer up anything but a nuzzle, so Alex simply likes the message and tries to move on with her life. Which is going really well until her heat cuts off at 11 PM. 

Normally, she’d survive it. It’s California and Alex has blankets, but tonight she’s actually shivering and thinks she might have to go over to Kara’s until Chewy climbs onto her bed and cuddles up next to her. “Thanks, buddy. You keep me warm and I’ll keep you warm.” Alex gets a cozy night's sleep for the first time in five years and wakes to the sound of her phone ringing. She answers without even looking to see who it is. “Hello?” Groggy mumbling would probably best describe Alex’s voice right now. The fact that she’d, apparently, slept until 3 PM makes her feel embarrassed and confused. 

“Wow, you sound adorable.” It’s Sam. Alex sits up and Chewy raises his head to see what’s going on. “I’m outside your door.” Alex climbs to her feet, sprints across her apartment, and flings the door open. “Wow, you’re…” Sam looks at Alex’s attire: sweatpants, fuzzy socks, a hoodie, and a wool hat. “Did you just wake up?”

“Yeah, but...heat went out last night.” Chewy’s entire body wags as he rushes at Sam. “This guy was a really good heater.” 

“God, Alex, thank you so…” Sam takes in the sight of all the new dog toys and costumes. “...much.” 

“I might’ve gotten a little carried away.” Alex gathers the toys into a giant paper bag and holds them out toward Sam. “Also I love Chewbarka but my allergy meds are wearing off, so I should probably sneeze for a few hours.” Sam takes the bag with an awkward smile and then cocks her head to the side. 

“Wait...you’re allergic to dogs?”

“Um...yes?”

“Well, why did you take him? I wouldn’t have asked if I knew he was going to kill you.” 

“He didn’t kill me! The cold weather would’ve killed me. Chewy and I got along just fine, he’s a great Netflix buddy.” Alex scratches his head. 

“If you say so.” Sam smiles a little brighter now. “Maybe once I unpack and you take some allergy medication, I could come over and we could watch Netflix and...chill?” Sam says the word chill with a wink before taking Chewy and all his new toys back to his apartment. 

Alex closes her door and sneezes so hard that she nearly tumbles to the ground.

[dolphin-enthusiast]

Part 8 bitch.

Y’all know. Mentions of pills. I take those prescribed little things that cost 80 each visit just to help

Josuke, Koichi and me were walking from school. “-And Anyways, after I didn’t accept his love letter out of me literal dozens in my locker he came at me and was like : ‘You’re a bitch? You might as well go out with me and be one with taste.’ And I come at him with ‘Such a big talk from someone with such small dick energy. I’m not taking shit from someone who only has actions with videos. Ciao,boo boo .’ And that’s why you saw me crowd surfing-“ Tamami appears. “Boss! Ma’am!” “Sup,Shawty(I genuinely apologize if I offend anyone. I’m Latina raised in a mixed neighborhood and I was surrounded by poc so I’ve been saying it all my life. If you have any issues, I’ll stop. I can’t do anything about what happens in my dreams though.)How’s life?” “What are you doing here? What evil deeds are you cooking up now?” He gets offended and explains how he’s turned over a new leaf. Of course, it’s the mafia.

(This translation was the one I grew up with and it aged like a very fine wine.)

Yadayadaya. Tohikazu Hamazada and get explains he’s in 3-C “Wait, I heard that name before... While I was crowd surfing after obliterating the guy with my SSS tier insults, he threw me a little too high in the air! Lemme just say, he’s strong.” “This guy... has reasons to use his stand?” “Boss! Well asked!” He then explain to us how psychopathic he is. “Wait, was the argument at 3pm outside the school parking lot?” “How does that matter?” “Where I come from, if you say: ‘A las 3 en el parking. Tu y yo y nuestros puños’ which translates roughly to Your, me and our fists at the schools parking lot at 3.’ That makes the fight by default scheduled, therefore no one interferes.” “Damn,Sky, that’s rough-” “Ma’am, that’s good logic!” He finishes explaining. Then leaves. *I’m like TT! Just like TT* “Hey Jotaro!” “Josuke, you’re in charge of Sky, she has a list of her allergies, her pills and her literal only pair of PJ’s” “Hey Jotaro!! I lived alone from ages 10-14 alone!! I can take care of myself!... You know what, don’t say anything, I heard myself and I heard how wrong I was. I’ll stay put...” Josuke decides to investigate Hazamada. “Fuck, I guess I’ll come with... You know, today I wanted to hang out with you JoJo but now that I’m being forced, I kinda lost a little interest. Will you join us Koi?” Blush, don’t ask why, apparently I had this little character sheet I forgot?? And turns out it’s a curse?? Anyways, he joins. “Guys, should I lock pick this shit or you can do this by the good ol’ stand way?” “Stand.” “How did you guys coordinated that? It was beautiful..” We get to Hazamada’s locker. We check “Sky?” “No,now OR arrow here.Koichi?” “Nope.” “Hey, there’s a mannequin!” “Don’t touch it Josuke-... And he touched it.” Then fake Josuke appears “You know, this town tells me to go fuck myself every day.” And he mimicks Josuke exactly “Koichi?” “Yeah?” “If they do a switcheroo, can you help me find the real one?” “Why?” “I don’t want to go with the fake one.” The fake Josuke references the "Perman" series, but it goes over Josuke's head, he doesn’t get it. It begins to belittle Josuke over this, which of course, he gets mad, and then the fake Josuke raises his arm and so does the real Josuke. The mannequin reveals that its power is to manipulate whoever it copies when their eyes meet. He elbows Koichi violently using the real Josuke’s arm. My man Koichi flies, I also get elbowed, and I also fly. “This town hates me...” Yadayadaya “Splosh, really?” “I healed Koichi with Crazy Diamond at the same time I elbowed him, and Sky got elbowed in her chest, it probably didn’t hurt. “IT DID BUT SINCE I SAW IT COMING MY HAND SOFTENED THE BLOW!” After healing him and fixing the door, Josuke and Koichi go out of the school to look for Hazamada. “JoJo, my good ol’ communicator is dead, you need to call Jotaro with a public phone until I find a source of electricity.” He tries “He’s probably with the fake Josuke. And I don’t think we can look for Hazamada, there are too many phones in this town to get there in time.” Meanwhile, Surface lies and tells Jotaro to go to the train station. “AHAHAH!! I CHARGED IT!!PleaseWorkPleaseWorkPleaseWorkPleaseWoOoOrk!!!”It doesn’t “DAMMIT!!” While I’m trying to talk to Jotaro, Josuke is already with the receptionist. Then I manage to call Tamami who is already with the fake Josuke “TAMAMI!!” “Ma’am!” “THE REAL JOSUKE IS WITH ME!!!” “Good observation ma’am!” “K, bye.” We go outside “Oh Josuke, why are you leaving school? We thought you went back home?” Then I slide and scrape my stockings. “SAFE!!” “Where were you Sky?” “Ah, I was calling my dad, who took all of my money after coming back from the store buying milk. I’m legally my own guardian now. Anyways, WHERE DID JOSUKE G O !” “Where did I go?” And we’re running. “WHERE ARE WE RUNNING TO?!!” “THE STATION DUMBASS!!” Yadayadaya, we find him “DAMMIT!! I’M NOT USUALLY THIS AGRESSIVE BUT I’VE BEEN CHEWING A PIECE OF GUM WITHOUT FLAVOUR ALL THIS TIME AND IT’S GROSS!!! I HATE THIS TASTE!!!

(I’m often told I look cute when mad, I don’t know why, I look like this.)

(I am aware I’m very pale, also, Face reveal? My face is my profile picture but that was 2 years ago. The white part of me is that when my hair gets wet, half of it is white and the other is black. And when I have a flash in my eye, one eye shows up as blue and the other as red.)

Anyways, I guess that also applied here “Girlie, don’t kid me. You’re too adorable to be threatening.” I throw the piece of glass along with Josuke, yadayadaya, we escape. Now Hazamada has to accept that surface doesn’t have a right hand.

Now, Jotaro is waiting near the Morioh train station, we Hazamada and Surface running toward the plaza by the shortest path,“We won't be able to catch him” I said, huffing, I’m not good running when I need to. Hazamada checks if Josuke’s not pursuing him. “We’ll take care of them pretty soon, Tohikazu, just relax!” I come here “I,I got lost.” Huffing, he prepares to attack “Chill, my stand is still in an egg, as you can see I don’t have stamina, I’m kinda weak. And I lack good looks.” I take a gasp of air “The only thing I have is that I’m a psychic-” huff “ I saw the outcome of this future and-” I have a cough fit. “Oh God- You win, you just need to-” I finally catch my breath. “look out for the train” the siren sounds. “Tohikazu, the train is here!” He looks, it’s echoes, I’m gone. We find Jotaro, I feel like a dying animal. “Next-Jesus-Next time you need me to go somewhere far, get me a bicycle.I don’t care I don’t know how to ride it, I’ll learn just to get there.” Josuke tells Jotaro about Surface but he suddenly pulls a pen out of Jotaro's jacket.Fuck, Surface is now controlling him from afar through one of the gallery's windows. “FUCK!!” Fuck indeed We turn our heads away and Surface tries to stab Jotaro with Josuke’s limb, when I see the motorcycle dudes Yadayadaya ya it’s over.

Part 9, here we come!

[purplesurveys]

739

Do you enjoy watching birth vlogs? OMG never. Those are a thing? I would imagine there’d be enough butthurt people flagging them enough to be taken down YouTube, but if they’re being uploaded there and are able to stay uploaded then that’s a really good thing. I’ve seen birthing photosets on Facebook but I’ve never watched an actual video. Would you rather paint on canvas or wood? I don’t paint but if given the chance I’d probably pick canvas just because it’s more common. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? Recently it’s the daily decision to keep ignoring my thesis. UHGJGHFKD I’ll do it and have it finished in May I fucking swear, I just can’t right now. Do you miss someone? I miss all my best friends, close friends, friends, acquaintances, classmates, groupmates, and everyone I’ve ever come across in school including the cats and dogs. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? I don’t have any allergies but I wish the irritation in my eye that will occasionally annoy me like an allergy would go away forever.

Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah when I was applying for AIESEC there were two people there with the same name and even the same spelling - I had never felt so common until then lol. I know more Robins with an i. Have you felt like the main character in a book was you? No, but I know if I read more then I will probably be able to name a character for you. Which country's flag is your favorite? Nepal’s. I also found Libya’s old flag interesting since it used to be just green with no designs whatsoever. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? This has some pretty awful undertones but uhhh I’d be wary of being attacked or scammed as a tourist, which is just the same thing I’d be scared of if I went to a different continent. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? Chicago. Have you ever hiked a mountain? I’ve hiked before, but not for a mountain. Who seems like they have the perfect life? One of my acquaintances, Chesca, is reeeeeally intelligent but also incredibly rich and funny and POPULAR and pretty and trendy and an insanely talented speaker and very well-loved. I know no one has a perfect life per se but out of all the people I observe, she’s definitely the one who seems to authentically have it all. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? I only did that once. The only thing it did for me was remind me of how much I was in a shitty place then. Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? ^ Clearly, no. I never wanted to take photos of shitty moments after that. What time zone are you in? I never memorized the format but it’s something with +8 in it. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. ^Why or why not? Because I find that extremely personal/private. Do you like dark blue jeggings or light blue jeggings better? Light blue even if I don’t wear jeggings, I guess. Dark blue isn’t as trendy these days. What color is the rim of your whiteboard? I don’t even own a whiteboard. Do you have trouble staying organized? For some spaces, yes. I can’t ever keep my car clean, for one. Throughout college it’s kinda served as my second home so I’ve never been able to avoid having my stuff from home pile up in there instead lmao. What was the last thing you cried about? The Philippine Bar exam results got released today and there was a video that quickly went viral of a family finding out their daughter/sister passed before she knew, and the passer only found out because they were all whooping and screaming downstairs. When she realized what they were making noise for she fell to the ground and started crying and oh my god there is a lump in my throat right now just thinking about it again. Have you ever held a newborn baby? No, I’ve never been in a delivery room nor met a baby a day or two after they were born; there’s just lots of sanitary/hygiene stuff to worry about and I’m ok with getting out of the way for a few days to ensure their health. Do you know anyone who has twins? I know sets of twins, which I guess kind of means the same because it means I am at least remotely aware of their mom lolol. Would you rather look older or younger than your age? Younger. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? That’d be impossible to have here because we don’t even use dollars. But we don’t have anything equivalent to like a peso store either, so no I don’t. What does your name rhyme with? Foreign. Are you following in the career path of any family members? Yep. I have two aunts who worked as journalists; one of those aunts also worked as a radio DJ at one point; my great-uncle was a historian, author, and a professor and dean of history; and I have too many lawyer relatives to count on one hand. Have you ever met anyone who talks like a robot? Yeah, some really bad reporters in some of my past classes. Name something unique about your town. We have an authentic Swiss restaurant. That’s genuinely the most random, unique thing I’ve seen come out of any towns lmfao because any restaurant that isn’t Chinese/Japanese/Italian/American/Mexican is just not a common concept here at all, much less Swiss. I haven’t tried it yet since it’s fine dining but hopefully soon. Who does all the chores in your home? My mom. She’s super particular about chores and likes things to be done her way. Every time we’ve tried to help her we just end up getting yelled at because as much as we try to imitate her, somehow we always do the chore wrong. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I missed out on the emotional foundation/support, for sure. I had to figure all that out on my own. What is your best kept secret (or one big secret you have right now)? This blog that to this day, only my sister knows about. Do you have anyone you can tell your secrets to? Yes. ^If so, who? You. Hahahahaha Who was that best friend you ever had? This is in past tense, so my best best friend that I’ve since lost was Sofie. I’m sad we drifted apart but we both seem a lot happier today and that’s what matters. She was an important person in a certain period in my life so I don’t regret the friendship. Do people appreciate you and accept you for who you are? I feel this from them, so I guess they do. What color is your laptop? Silver. What class would you like to repeat over again just for fun? Bio 1 because it was easy and POLSC 180 because I learned so much.

What are five careers you think you'd be good at? Corporate lawyer, any job that requires a lot of spreadsheet-y and internal work really, PR, a consultant for something I’m interested in, historian. I tried to delete this question but I brought it back at the last second because now is so not the time anymore to still dodge my future career prospects lmao. Are you thriving in your life right now? I don’t think anyone is at the moment, and that’s okay. Who do you have moral support from? My girlfriend and close friends, mostly. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? Them, and sometimes my parents. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? That’s horrible lmao I wouldn’t think so? Are the police criminals in your town? Yes. List all the antiques you have in your room. I don’t have any. What Bratz doll resembles you the most? JADE. My homegirl through and through. Do you have a walk-in closet? No. What was the last thing you ate? I had a chocolate chip cookie. What would you do to save money for your wedding? Allot some money from my salary for it, lmao. Have you ever been manipulated, lied to, abused, or controlled? Yes, of course, yes, and sure. Are you against plagiarism? Of course. That’s literally the biggest no-no in journalism.

[honeybee-babe]

“Can you stifle them for me today, babe?” (Klave)

My first Klave fic! And of course, it’s Klaus snzfic with fetishist Dave! Idea developed with the help of @hargreevesstyles, hope you like it bby! ;)

~

It had only taken Klaus three weeks of being (officially) with Dave before he discovered the man’s kink.

It was a happy accident that he had landed in Vietnam in the dead of April, when tree pollen was at its highest. When he got together with Dave, it was late May, and just when the tree pollen was starting to die down, grass pollen came in full force on top of it. He was surrounded by miles and miles of tall grass, in a climate he wasn’t used to, and antihistamines weren’t half as strong in 1968.

At first he’d held back his allergy sneezes around the other men, only indulging in occasional stifles around them, and frequently removing himself from the group when he was on the verge of an irrepressible fit.

He was even more careful around Dave, always pulling away if he had to sneeze while they were making out, and excusing himself profusely afterwards. It was in those moments when Klaus started to pick up on it. He noticed the little smile that always played at Dave’s lips afterwards, and the way he blushed a bit with every mumbled “Bless you, Bug.” He’d been around the block when it came to kinks, and it really wasn’t that hard to figure it out.

And although Dave was pretty uncomfortable when Klaus first confronted him about it, he didn’t protest when Klaus started bringing bunches of Chrysanthemums and handfuls of grass into the infirmary. That was the only room that was usually empty, and the access to wall to wall cabinets of medical supplies served as a bit of an insurance policy, just in case Klaus reacted too strongly to anything.

These past few weeks though, Dave hadn’t been reacting to Klaus’ sneezes like he normally did. In fact, Dave hadn’t been reacting much to Klaus at all. Klaus wondered if he’d done something wrong. Whatever it was, Dave clearly didn’t want to talk about it.

Klaus had done everything to cheer him up. Kissing him about fifty extra times every morning and night, wearing those big sunglasses he liked whenever he had the chance, and passing him all his strawberries whenever they had any at breakfast (Dave loved strawberries). He’d even induced himself three times (secretly) in the course of five days, and Dave had barely reacted. He’d just said “bless you,” without the bug. Klaus even tried making them extra loud for him, and Dave’s only reaction was to tell him he should take a bath.

Klaus tried to be easy on Dave, giving him his space and not bothering him about it but it was going on a week since they’d last banged now, and he was getting desperate. And with the rest of the camp hitting the bars tonight, they had the whole barracks to themselves. And it was mid-June, the height of grass pollen.  Klaus was not going to let this perfect opportunity go to waste.

He sauntered into the barracks with a tall strand of elephant grass in his hand, sniffling unapologetically as he made his way over to Dave’s bed. The other man had his back turned to him and was lying down with his chin propped up on his hand. He didn’t even look up in response to the sniffling.

Klaus went to town with the grass, sticking it directly up his nose and wiggling it all around. It didn’t take long for his breath to start hitching. That’s when Dave startled in surprise, having genuinely not realized he was there.

Dave turned around to lie on his other side, ready to snap at his boyfriend about sneaking up on him. 

“Jesus, Klaus! You can’t just - oh…” When he saw what was going on, and a grin inevitably spread on his face. Klaus returned the grin, even as his eyes unfocused more and more with each breath. Success.

“Davey, I...hh! Can you help me?” To his delight, Dave willingly obliged. Klaus scooted onto the bed to lie down next to him. They propped themselves up on their elbows as Dave brushed the end of the grass against Klaus’ nostrils, gently. Far too gently, for Klaus’ liking. “Ihhhh… come on, Davey, what’s that gonna -hih!- do?”

Dave went in just a bit deeper and sped up his finger movements. That seemed to do the trick. He only pulled it out again when he was absolutely certain that Klaus was over the edge.

“Ihhhh...hih! Het’shiuuu! Edtshuuu! Igxtshyuuu!” he sneezed against his wrist, merely inches from Dave’s face. He finished with a deep sigh, and rubbed profusely at his itching nose.

“Mmm, bless you, bug.” Dave kissed him on the cheek.

On the cheek!

“Did I do something wrong?” Klaus asked, pulling away with a sniffle.

“No, bug. You’re perfect.”

“You don’t seem that into it. Normally you’d be jumping all over me by now.” Dave just shrugged and started to turn back around. “Hey, hey, hey!” Klaus placed a gentle hand on Dave’s shoulder. “What’s wrong, Davey? You’ve been acting weird lately.”

He rubbed at Dave’s shoulder and kissed him on the back of the head, rubbing his itchy nose in the other man’s curls. Even as stuffed up as he was, it still smelled distinctly like Dave.

“It’s the twins’ birthday this week.” Klaus smiled a bit, against Dave’s hair.

“Danny and Debbie?” Dave nodded his head in response. His hair tickled at Klaus’ nose.

“Hh’itshieh! How old are they turning?” Klaus asked with a little sniffle. He knew Dave was very protective and close with his younger siblings.

“They’ll be sixteen on Tuesday.” He let out a little sigh. “I just really miss them.”

“I know, Davey. I’m sure they understand it’s not your fault,” Klaus hummed, rubbing his hand up and down Dave’s arm. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

After a moment or so, Dave turned back around with a tiny grin and waved the blade of grass in his face. “Distract me?”

Klaus just rolled his eyes and lifted up his chin, to give Dave access to his nostrils. “You’re so predictable.”

“Mmm,” Dave agreed. “Can you stifle them for me today, babe?”

Klaus quirked a brow. “You mean like… hold them in?” Dave nodded, biting down on a sheepish little smile. Klaus cocked his head to the side. “Why would you want me to do that? I thought the whole point was the release.”

Dave blushed profusely. “Uh, it is, kinda. But I dunno, it makes it seem more desperate?” he looked down at the blade in his hands, twisting it around nervously as he searched for the right words. Klaus bit down on his smile; he was just too cute. “Like…like you’re trying to control it but you… can’t? I don’t know. It’s just… I don’t know, it’s sexy to me. You don’t have to, I know it’s weird-”

“Shh, Davey. It’s not weird -- well, it is weird, but we’re weird anyway. And besides, it’s cute! And it’s what you like,” he kissed Dave on the nose, “so I’ll do it.”

Dave scrunched up his nose and pulled away, flashing Klaus a sheepish smile. “You will? It might hurt.”

Klaus giggled. “Pshh, I do that all the time anyway, it’ll be fine. Come on, Davey probe me!”

Despite his reservations, Dave’s libido took over,

“Okay... but only if you promise to never say that, ever again.”

He returned to stroking the tip of the blade of grass against Klaus’ nostrils.

“Hih….ihhhh....go deeper, for Christ’s ssake. Oh! I think I’m...hehhh good.” Dave pulled the blade out as Klaus raised his hand to his face. “I think I’m gonna - heh! Hih’iGTshyuu! Fuck!”

“Bless you! It’s okay, bug,” Dave said through a chuckle, though the blush returned to his cheeks. The familiar warm feeling rose up in his belly when his boyfriend brought his other hand up, steepling his hands over his nose.

“Wait… I can do it this… heh I’ll get it this ti-ih’nkxt! G’kt-ngktchiew! sndf Like that?””

Dave bit down on a huge smile and nodded. “Yeah, like that, baby.”

“Hihhh…. hih’nkxt! h’nxgt! xngt!” Klaus sniffled and removed his hands, grinning up at Dave. “Davey, I’m doing it!”

“Mmm,” Dave moaned as he returned the grass to his Klaus’s nose, the tip dancing against his already quivering nostrils, “Yes you are.”

“Ihhhh… ugh! Gimme that.”  Klaus snatched the blade of grass out of Dave’s hand and shoved it as high up his nostrils as it would go, wiggling it around wildly.

“Klaus, be careful,” Dave warned with wide eyes.

“I know what I’m…. hehhh what I’m doiihhh- nxgtshyuu! nXGT! XXGT!” He stifled the triple hands-free for a change. “Fuck, that felt good.”

Dave moaned. “Sounds good, too.” he brushed Klaus’ messy curls out of his eyes, which were really starting to tear up. “Okay, you can stop now.”

“N-no, I-l - hih! I love it so much, I don’t want to stop. Oooh it’s so,” he paused his movements, setting the grass down as he searched for words. How exactly does one talk dirty about sneezing? “It’s so itchy. Mmmm.”

Dave stifled a laugh. “Klaus, you don’t have to do that.”

“Mmm, what?” Klaus returned the grass to his nose. “Hihh I love sneezing, it feels soooo good.”

“You don’t have to try to be sexy,” Dave explained. “Just… talk about how it really feels. Or don’t talk at all. Trust me, you’re hot enough right now. Way more than enough.”

“Hmm…. you know what would be really hot?” Klaus snapped the blade of grass in half, and handed one piece to Dave. “Wanna help?”

Dave chuckled deeply. “You’re killing me.” He went in for Klaus’ left nostril, while Klaus took his right nostril with the other half.

“You’re weh -hih!- welcome…. hihh! H’nxg! Inxgt! Ehhh...” Klaus frowned when Dave removed the blade of grass from his left nostril. He continued to attack his right nostril with the other blade, but it was his left that really needed the extra push. “It’s st-suck. Hih!... Fuck! Help me out, Davey. Pleeeease?”

Dave grinned devilishly. “No, I think you got this babe.” He raised his brows playfully. “It’s not rocket science.”

“Wha-?” Klaus could barely think, his brain was so preoccupied with finding this sneeze. His eyes were streaming, eyelids fluttering rapidly as his chest rose and fell with each hitchy breath. He made grabby hands at Dave’s blade of grass, but his boyfriend put it in his other hand and held it out away from Klaus, way too far for him to reach.

“Fuuuuck,” Klaus whined. He continued to rub the blade of grass up and down his right nostril until, like Athena bursting from the mind of Zeus, the answer finally came to him. “Oh! Hihhhh.. duh!” Quickly he removed the blade of grass from his right nostril and jammed it into his left nostril. Dave tensed beside him.

The reaction was instantaneous.

“Fuck it’s workihhhhh…” He removed the grass from his nose and steepled his hands over his nose in the nick of time, just before his head snapped down. “ihh’nXGtsh! Sorrry - heh’nxgt! Ixtchuhhhh!!” He didn’t even open his eyes, even as he heard Dave moan deeply, and felt his hands press a tissue against his nose, which was now running like a leaky faucet. He removed his hands, allowing Dave to cover for him with the tissue. “hih’NXGT! Uhhh… hihhh? Ihhh?! Hiehhtshieww! H’tDZshyuuu-nxgt! Ngt-nxgtchiew!”

Klaus literally felt Dave shiver against him. After a few moments of silence, he swatted Dave’s hands away, and blew his nose himself. 

This seemed to snap the blushing man out of whatever stupor he was in.

“Shit, Klaus,” he finally spoke up. Klaus chuckled; Dave rarely swore. “That was… fuck.”

“Sure was,” Klaus agreed, breath finally evening out a bit. He blew his nose a second time.

“Ugh, shit, sorry those last few get out,” Klaus said with a smug little grin, knowing full well that it didn’t matter from Dave’s more than enthusiastic response.

Dave was in a daze beside him. “Are you kidding me? That was so hot.”

“Really?” Klaus teased, a grin crossing his face when his nose twitched again. “But -hih!- isn’t this better?”

Before he could respond, Klaus buried his nose into Dave’s neck.

“Ih’ngxt! Hhn’xgt! Gnxtchiuu!”

He sniffled, a deep gurgling sound, as Dave went completely still against him. When the once-again blushing man finally spoke up, he was breathless.

“Holy fucking shit.”

Klaus giggled and pulled away to boop him on the nose.

“Language, Davey!”

[thevoilinauttheory]

Never-Ending Survey | Maximiloix

Tagged by @elegie-de-sang! Thank you so much, and thank you for your patience! It’s been a while since I got this orz

Tagging: uhh... anyone who has wanted to do this and hasn’t! Please! Do! It! And tag me! I want to see all of your lovely characters!

BASICS.

FULL NAME: Maximiloix Soleil Voilinaut

NICKNAME: (Hates all of his nicknames) Max [by most], Maxie [by Caromont].

AGE:  109

BIRTHDAY: 28th Sun of the 1st Astral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP: Elezen

NATIONALITY: Ishgardian

LANGUAGE/S: Common, Old Ishgardian, Old Sharlayan, Dragonspeak (to a degree, his pronunciation is horrible), Sign Language; in the process of teaching himself Far Eastern languages and dialects; is familiar with Ilsabardian words and terms, unable to speak the language fluently.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Pansexual

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Panromantic

RELATIONSHIP STATUS:  It’s complicated. Legally, he’s single.

HOME TOWN / AREA:  Ishgard, Coerthas

CURRENT HOME:  Mist, Limsa Lominsa

PROFESSION: Teacher, Aetherologist, Historian

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: Unnaturally white with hints of brown. Base of neck length, kind of wavy. Very well groomed and taken care of.

EYES: One is a whitish-silver, the other is a light teal. Almond shaped, with constant bags under them.

FACE: Squared, angular jaw. High cheekbones. 

LIPS: Kinda average for his face shape and size, always wears lipstick.

COMPLEXION: Tanned from outdoor work, usually on the paler side.

BLEMISHES: Aside from the bags under his eyes, he has very few visible blemishes.

SCARS: A lot. Mostly covering his chest and back. The most noticeable ones are the thin scar along his cheek, and a nasty deformation on his right arm.

TATTOOS: Geometrical patterns are tattooed around his entire body, everywhere except his face, to help him cast magic easier and more efficiently.

HEIGHT:  7′4′‘

WEIGHT: ~200lbs. 

BUILD: Lanky and frail looking. He has muscle due to his time as a logger and Templar, but he is lacking in physical strength with his old age.

FEATURES: Long and well kept fingernails, well-groomed. All other prominent features have already been stated.

ALLERGIES: Deathly allergic to mushrooms.

USUAL HAIR STYLE:  Well washed and maintained, looks very soft. It is usually kept loose. On rare occasions, it will be tied back to keep it from getting in his face while he works.

USUAL FACE LOOK :  Annoyed, irritated, and angry.

USUAL CLOTHING:  Does not have much of a closet - or he does, and he prefers to wear the same thing everyday. Garishly long white robes, tight black pants, black high-heeled boots, and a black eyepatch.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: Drowning, being buried alive, being alone, being forgotten, losing his friends and family, powerlessness.

ASPIRATION/S:  To correct his many mistakes, and hopefully become on good terms with his family. Or at least speaking terms.

POSITIVE TRAITS: Protective, inquisitive, friend to the poor man. He *does* know how to have fun, I swear.

NEGATIVE TRAITS:  Almost constantly annoyed or irritated at something; power-hungry; selfish; will not hesitate to throw anyone under him when it comes to gaining new power and knowledge.

TEMPERAMENT:  Choleric / Melancholic

SOUL TYPE/S:  16% Educator / 15% Thinker / 12% Leader

ANIMAL/S: Falcon.

VICE HABIT/S: Alcoholism, Self-Martyrdom

FAITH: Halone, apparently. 

GHOSTS?: Believes in them to a degree.

AFTERLIFE?: Kind of?

REINCARNATION?: A more plausible and sensible option after death.

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: Absolutely loathes people of noble birth, unless proven themselves to *not* be assholes. Stays on the side of the poor man, and will fight for their rights.

EDUCATION LEVEL:  While he doesn’t know everything, he does know a lot for someone who’s education level is “I learned how to read”. There were no schools for him to attend as a child, so he learned through experience, traveling, and reading.

FAMILY.

FATHER :  Adelnard Voilinaut

MOTHER :  Genevieve Voilinaut

SIBLINGS :  He is the eldest of 9 - here’s a list.

EXTENDED FAMILY: He has a lot of children and extended family members, and here’s a list as well!

NAME MEANING/S: Based off the Common, Eorzean, name, Maximillion - which means “Greatest Rival”. (Also I just used the random name generator and went “what a cool ass name” until I learned how to pronounce it.)

HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: None, in-game.

FAVORITES.

BOOK:  Will never admit it, but thoroughly enjoys raunchy romance novels. Good luck finding his collection.

DEITY: Halone.

HOLIDAY:  The Starlight Celebration. It gives him a reason to (begrudgingly - to keep up appearances) give gifts to people.

MONTH: Likely the 6th Umbral Moon (December)- not only the month of his favorite holiday and season; but it was the month he met Caromont as well.

SEASON:  Winter.

PLACE: Says Ishgard, but really wherever his family and friends are.

WEATHER: Loves snow, maybe not blizzards, but definitely show showers.

SOUND / S: Silence, tea kettle boiling, pages of books flipping.

SCENT / S:  Coerthan cedar; Dravanian Lilies; Furymint.

TASTE / S:  Furymint, black tea - lots of salt.

FEEL / S:  Wool and mink. Sanded down and polished wood; cold stone.

ANIMAL / S:  Likes animals, will not own any. Falcons are his favorite.

NUMBER: 3,582. Specific, but there’s a reason behind it.

COLORS: White, blue, gold.

EXTRA.

TALENTS: Magic and all things magical in nature; the ability to learn new things quickly. 

BAD AT: Focusing on anything that is not studying or interesting to him; cooking; can’t swim; bad at dealing with people - even worse if the person is upset. 

TURN ONS: Major turn ons include having his hair pulled on, and being embarrassed in public or in front of others. He is attracted to intelligence and someone he can lean on; being attractive is a plus.

TURN OFFS: Needy, or greedy for his attention. Displays low intelligence in situations that do not call for it. Sexually, does not like preforming oral - does not like mouth stuff, whatsoever.

HOBBIES: Reading, teaching, studying new things, traveling/adventuring.

TROPES: Jerk with a Heart of Gold; Big Ego, Hidden Depths; Villain with Good Publicity

QUOTES:

“He is not yours to burn - get out, GET OUT!”

“I have not felt such exhilaration in years…”

“I am not stupid, I am mad. You were a fool to trust me in the first place.”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie,  what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1 :  It would probably be one of those villain origin stories, either of his life growing up; or it would be him slowly going mad - like my Memories!AU. It would be very dark, definitely an R movie, maybe even something horror-esque. As for titles? /shrug I’m no good with those.

Q2 :  What would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2 : Definitely piano, organ, and harpsichord based. Maybe a little violin and cello. Something soft and somewhat haunting.

Q3 :  Why did you start writing this character?          

A3 : Ha... ha... I don’t want to admit that it gave me a reason to be mean to people lmao. I’m generally a super nice person, a people pleaser, and a rug that everyone walks over. Max’s character was supposed to reflect a couple of things - if I handled my guilt worse than I have irl, and if he were the sarcastic, rude, bastard I have no heart to be.

Q4 :   What first attracted you to this character?          

A4 :  ^^ The above. Max was originally supposed to be young, naive, clumsy, and an anxiety ridden mess; and for the love of god, do not get me started on his original design. He became the opposite of those things, and Lothaire took up the mantle of his original personality.

Q5 :  Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 :  Max is an absolute fucking asshat that can’t let things be. Let dead things be dead, kind of thing. Can’t move on. He will definitely step on his friends and family if it meant gaining more power.

Q6 :  What do you have in common with your muse?          

A6 :   The guilt of believing that we are the cause of the death to a loved one. I’m pretty sure I handled it better. We also have a lot of internalized rage.

Q7 :   How does  your muse feel about  you?          

A7 :   lmao, he probably hates me. I *am* the source of all of his angst and anger, tbh. His life has been a mess and it is literally all my fault.

Q8 :  What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?        

A8 :   Caromont, Shango, and Amarice - definitely. All three are people who push his ability to be a better person.

Q9 :  What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?        

A9 :  Max is one of those characters that everyday is inspiration for him - it’s just finding the motivation to write. He’s not necessarily my longest running XIV character, but he is certainly one of my favorites to RP. 

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?          

A10 : A while - I lost motivation, forgot it was in my drafts, then got it done during my entire shift at work lmao.

A big ol’ shoutout to @shangomango​ and @amarice-sovald​ for their characters and helping shape Max into what he is today.

[damnprecious]

I was tagged by @qayalec, thank ya!!! rule 1: Always post the rules. rule 2: Answer questions that are given to you and then write 10 new ones. rule 3: Tag 10 people. rule 4: Let them know you tagged them

This is so long I put in a read-more so here we goes

1. how was your day? Good!!! I dragged my ass to class and ran into a few friends and caught a very cute pokemon on the way back, the buss wasn’t overly full (!!!!!) and I even got around to sending that one email to one professor I’ve been meaning to send for two weeks but #procrastination 2. what is a popular thing that people gush about but you don’t like or understand? sex. and babies. 

3. if you could master one extreme/unusual sport, what sport would you choose? why? So many???? I’d love to do mountain climbing or skydiving or water skiing or surfing or white water rafting or jokamiesajot or like really extra parkouring? but if I had to pick only one I’d probably go with surfing bc that would be in the ocean and cool as fuck??? And probably a bit less expensive to do than like skydiving or jokamiesajot. And wouldn’t require the additional people to do it like white water rafting or water skiing. And more easily available than mountain climbing (though finland doesn’t really have that much of a surf but I could just move somewhere where there is). Parkour would be really cool too bc then I could just parkour around but surfing. 

4. what is a conversation you have had that you will never forget? There have been many iconic convos. But honestly the one I’ll never forget was probably when I was like 16 or something, just had come back from a camp as an isonen and my folks were like ‘hey while you were gone we decided to get a cat so we’ll be going to the shelter to see him tomorrow’ or whatever the day was that we went, and then a few days later the precious fluffy little Urho came home with us. It’s not like I never begged for cat bc my brother was allergic to animals as a kid so it wasn’t an option but apparently the allergies got less bad or whatever and then I got the kindest little furball ever to exist and I love him so much. 

5. if you could meet anyone, dead or alive, and have like a dinner and a chat with them, who would you want to meet? I’m tempted to say Tolkien but I also kinda wouldn’t want to do it bc one should never meet with their faves. It’d also be kinda cool to meet like Mikael Agricola or Elias Lönrott or J.V. Snellman? or HJ Nortamo? Why is today such a mood for people who have affected the Finnish language? especially since they’d all probably be really crusty old dudes who I probably wouldn’t even like all that much but #languages. But also one guy would be Tuomas Holopainen bc he seems like someone who’d be interesting to talk to 6. what do you think are the best parts of your personality? Why can’t I think of anything right now??? Like I know I have some good qualities but like??? What are even parts of a personality?? What do I even usually answer to this type of question??? My brain is failing me 7. what are some of the things you have learned this year? That there are people whose literal job is to burn forests in a way that’s controlled and that’d be a really cool job to do (but would also probably require So Much Math). I also learned that I can function somewhat well even if I’m way out of my depth and left to deal with things I’m so not qualified to deal with (looking at you, summer job). I’ve also learned a bit that it’s okay to ask for help sometimes (tho I have a feeling there are people who would disagree with me actually learning this, but it’s a work in progress) and that you shouldn’t sit in the middle of the floor of your room if your leg is in a cast and you’re not allowed to put any weight on it and you need to get up to catch the buss on time and you just sit there in the middle of the floor with nothing to use to pull yourself up with. Also, sitting cross-legged with a cast doesn’t work. And that one should not climb on tables with a cast on one of your legs. I’ve learned a lot about things you shouldn’t do when you have a cast on your leg. 8. which of your skills are you most proud of? Ability to bullshit things with fairly good results. But also my knitting skills, which aren’t actually any good, but considering I swore never to touch knitting needles after I got rid of the fabric craft class in 4th grade again my knitting skills are good enough. Also photography since although I can’t really do any fancy things with the camera the pics look really nice.  9. you can only watch one movie or tv show for the rest of your life, what is it? Can I just say Lord of the Rings? I’m gonna say Lord of the Rings. I would say Band of Brothers but that might get a tad depressing at some point.  10. you get 3 months off from everything (school, work, paying bills & other commitments), how do you spend the time? If I had the money to buy plane tickets and a goddamn tent I’d either fly to New Zealand or Canada and pick the prettiest fucking national parks to wander around for the whole goddamn three months, just me and my camera and my gazillion memory cards and spare batteries. If no plane tickets, I’d do the same but in Finland and possibly cross over to Sweden/Norway in Lapland and just. Pretend that the whole of society didn’t exist for a bit. 

As for my 10 questions: 1. What color shoes would you wear for the rest of your life if you couldn’t choose black/brown shoes?  2. Would you rather only listen to music or only listen to audio books for the rest of your life?  3. What food would you never eat? 4. Favorite movie when you were 12? 5. Which superpower would you and your nemesis have?  6. What is the nearest blue object to you?  7. Dream holiday destination? 8. If you could choose three languages you became fluent in, which would they be? 9. Autumn sunset filtering through the forest leaves or a crispy clear winter night on a snowy field?  10. How many pairs of woolly socks do you have?  I will tag @doggytail-duck @samettikettu @when-shes-gone @ropsus and @mustetahra if yall feel like doing the thing ^^

[lilietsblog]

ehhh i just feel that the fact that the only character with prosopagnosia is both a murderer and killed off is a problem, and the fact that it was manipulated and used by ga'ran without that fact ever being outright criticized is. not good on capcoms part. i agree with you abt uendo tho, i disliked that he was outed against his will but i did really like that he wasnt the killer and that he was handled in a largely respectful way

SOJ SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

do you think they really needed to criticize Garan specifically for exploiting her husband’s mental health and not just, y’know, EVERY SINGLE OTHER ASPECT OF THE SITUATION, LIKE HOW SHE KILLED HIM

one thing about how aa treats neurodiversity that I really respect is how it doesnt Make It A Thing. nobody ever comments on how fucking autistic Manfred is, nor on how fucking autistic Miles and Franziska are. its just a background thing evened out between villain and protagonist so theres no stereotype or trope playing out smoothly in either direction

Neurodivergent People Are Uwu Babies Who Need To Be Protected And Can Do No Harm is not an approach I’m particularly fond of, because of both abstract reasoning reasons and personal experience reasons, and AA does NOT do that

Garan made use of Inga’s prosopagnosia, Rayfa’s insecurity, Nahyuta’s desire to do his best by his country and people, Amara’s Bad Decision Making Skills, Dhurke’s desire to be the most dramatic possible at all times and her country’s love and mourning for her sister absolutely equally, and THAT is equality we deserve. it was Just Another Aspect Of The Situation, not Today On This Very Special Episode Of Ace Attorney, and I like that way of handling it a lot actually??

I know of absolutely no established trope or stereotype that equates prosopagnosia with being murderous. In fact I know of absolutely no established trope or stereotype that acknowledges prosopagnosia exists at ALL, which makes every representation good representation. not all mental health conditions are equal, like how people who wear glasses and people with allergies usually don’t become targets for violent ableism? (as far as I know)

Uendo being outed against his will was… again, a lesser evil kind of thing? esp compared to the disaster that was Robin in Academy lmao that was a horrible trainwreck on nearly every level. but Uendo really should not have lied on the stand & tried to frame Bucky for the crime? their secret was Intensely Relevant to the events, and it’s not like they got any blowback for it? the only reason they werent admitting it was bc they were trying to protect Owen, and also because they dont just go around announcing to everyone that they’re DID any more than Apollo goes around announcing he’s gay (even though he absolutely is) (uh excuse me for getting distracted for a second here)

if anything there was fucked up it was the cheerful ‘oh you get blackout drunk from a manju bun! let’s test that!’ like… uh. Athena that sounds slightly unethical. but also they did not protest at any point and also it really was fucking relevant af to the case? and being easily intoxicated is not a DID relevant thing so thats a completely separate issue either way

like, this is not like ‘also the witness actually has girl parts not that anyone cares but lets just bring that up for no reason at all’, this is like ‘also the witness was the victim’s boyfriend which explains like half the case and also why they are so nervous on the stand’, like as parallel to ‘actually the witness is the victim’s little sister’ (oh no! they outed Dahlia! who was in witness protection or something, Miles acknowledged that the reason he allowed her to lie in court about her identity was bc she had apparently good reasons to hide it) (but Mia gets no blowback for outing her, possibly because there were good fucking reasons for it in context!)

btw AA also had earlier DID kinda-representation that I took note of and overall liked: Ben and Trilo. there the judge DID go ‘uh who IS the witness?’ but then Franziska was like ‘just let it go your honor the witness is the witness and we know exactly who they are’ because she is my precious daughter who is all that is good in the world. and it wasnt like GOOD good, because the case was low key poking fun at them being weird, but it was also on the background of literally everyone else in the circus also being weird in other ways, so it didn’t really single them out?

and then they looked back and went ‘lets do the same thing but better’ and boy they fucking did

(but god i just cant let go of the first point I replied to there. DID GARAN STRIKE YOU AS PERHAPS A SYMPATHETIC CHARACTER. SOMEONE WHOSE ACTIONS THE NARRATIVE MEANT YOU TO APPROVE OF. CRITICIZING ATHENA’S ACTIONS IN OUTING UENDO MAKES SENSE BECAUSE SHE’S A PROTAGONIST AND WE ARE MEANT TO IDENTIFY WITH AND APPROVE OF HER. GARAN IS LITERALLY THE FUCKING VILLAIN SHE HASNT DONE A SINGLE THING THAT WASNT EVIL FOR THE ENTIRE CASE WHY WOULD YOU WANT HER SEPARATELY CALLED OUT FOR THIS SPECIFICALLY. ITS NOT THAT SPECIAL COMPARED TO THOUSANDS DEAD BECAUSE OF MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE)