hostiae

[hostiae]

Anyone want to descend into codependent madness with me or ??

[hostiae]

he doesn't need the heart monitor to tell him the speed that fionn's heart quickens when he enters the room. when he'd first been injured, lestat respected the distance. something about mortal injuries deserving space from the vampire in his life had made sense to lestat. should he have shown up with flowers? could he have helped his recovery better? he doubts he would have accepted his blood or furthermore, the gift. and lestat knows he would have offered, he would have pushed in fear that an injury could take his life.

( it still took his arm )

what he doesn't expect is to be entirely ghosted. certainly, he could occupy himself with other things. moonlighting as a rockstar kept him busy enough. was it even moonlighting anymore? he'd been drawn into his rebranding — this persona that resonated beyond even his wildest and most self-obsessed dreams. but saying that he could find himself a distraction doesn't change the fact that he'd been worried enough to send him dozens of texts, all with no response.

hi. that's it? hi. the vampire heaves a sigh as he further walks into the hospital room. he doesn't yet say that he knows more than he should about what happened. he'd already been in his head, looking for answers. it's why he showed up. it's no coincidence that he knew when he'd be discharged or that he knew just how bad the situation had been walking into it.

❝ well, i expected a little more than a ‘ hello. ’ you know, perhaps a sorry, my phone was crushed beyond repair and i couldn't message you back? ❞ it isn't anger, it's fretful. what if he'd died and lestat had done nothing? mortal lives were nothing, if not fragile. ❝ mad? no. i'm not mad. ❞ blue eyes don't study him much longer before he crosses over to help him with his jacket. ❝ let me help. ❞

in typical NHS fashion, by the time his antibiotics have been dispensed and the discharge paperwork sorted, it's already dark; night might come early, this time of year, still afternoon, but it feels fitting, somehow, that he'll finally be heading home in the same conditions as he was brought to hospital, a long few weeks ago. it had been a night shift, then, too.

he's sat on the side of the bed, struggling to zip up his jacket when the door opens, focused on what shouldn't be a frustrating task and adding it to the mental list of things he's going to have to relearn how to do. fionn knows he'll get there, but right now frustration and despair make a potent mixture in his blood, something that seems to spread through him with every beat of his heart. when he looks up, he stops.

oh. ❝ hi. ❞ thank god he's not still hooked up to the heart monitor, the way he's sure it quickens; as it is, there's a brief flash of something akin to relief on his face before it fades. because the thing is...he hasn't spoken to lestat since he first got hurt at work, cancelling them hanging out because he was about to have an operation. he hasn't told him how bad it got, either because he couldn't or because he didn't know how. fionn has felt broken enough; he couldn't face a fucking god who can't die, especially one he thinks he's developing feelings for when they're meant to be casual. there were genuine times he's been too unwell to even know he had a phone, let alone use it. more recently, though?

that was just him being a fucking coward.

the relief at seeing lestat curdles into shame; fionn's gaze drops to his lap, thumb fiddling with the bastard zip. he swallows. ❝ are you mad i didn't tell you i was still here? ❞ he'd get it; he has sort of been ghosting the guy. which was, it turns out, yet another stupid decision from fionn in a month chock of full of them.

now lestat's here, he's realising that he really wanted to see him.

@hostiae (lestat)

[hostiae]

as far as benji's concerned, he has three choices. he could address armand's post-breakup blues, ignore them and try to distract, or find some way to slip it into the conversation without being too obvious about it. yet, even with the options in front of him, he doesn't have a grand plan for what to do once he gets there. he can't take it from him. those decades he spent with louis are still incomprehensible. benji has eternity stretched out in front of him, but he hasn't fulfilled one mortal life. seventy years is still a long time. he accepts it has to hurt, but he's also hellbent to rewrite twilight, because in this version? bella will get over edward.

but what benji won't get over? comparing armand to an array of terrifying creatures. the bigger the eyes, the better. even when he's not at his side, a quick text that he's on his way to save him, coupled with a picture of his latest twin had left him cackling more than once. but this time, it's a little like a compliment, isn't it? the knowing eyes, the peace it seeks in the trees whilst still one of the forests' most competent predators. it clicks in his head. tearing his eyes from the owl, he looks up at armand, his grin giving way to the soft, boyish laugh.

❝ a family reunion, the three of us. ❞ again, he regards the owl for an extended few seconds. sometimes animals moved too quickly to escape his presence ( a part of vampire nature that was typically disappointing ) , but the bird is so unbothered and benji watches in admiration. just a distraction before he digs up the filed away thoughts from a couple minutes prior.

❝ i cut you off, i want to hear what you hate about twilight. ❞

it was a difficult thing, to grieve someone that was still alive. a child's hopeful heart would forever exist in his body. this particular feeling would stay there for decades after separation, a kind of post-break up haze that manages to spread in every direction his mind could reach; a shade of his gloom clouding the world's symphonic resonance he so often enjoys. tonight the evening is black. even the stars are not out. when armand looks up, he can feel benji's eyes on him. it makes the grief flare, exposed and vulnerable under eyes that ought not to see it. he looks to the side, regarding the boy in that tender eyed way that often takes over when he looks upon him. a gentle breeze brings fourth a slow, affectionate blink. ❛ twilight? ❜

a small incredulous smile. shy and holding back. ❛ do you know what i hate about twilight? their c - ❜ the hand that's tucked into the pocket of his trousers is tugged out of it's place, body turning before benji can tug him about; he's turning his head, eyes growing tighter as if to make out what kind of creatures he's talking about. not that he doesn't already know - he does. intimately. this is not the first time benjamin has compared him to some infinitely ugly creature in some shop window but this owl - .... it does look like him.

dark, almost purple plumage under the pale moonlight. wide, all - seeing eyes that glow something awful. armand goes quiet, regarding it as he leans a shoulder into benji.

❛ we must have some blood in common, ❜ stolen valor, commandeered pride. armand looks down at benji through his peripherals, gently raising his hand and tracing the profile of his own nose with a smirk. ❛ brothers. just like you and i. ❜

[hostiae]

here to crank out some writing! then i'll hop over to armand's blog to get some of that done too. before i dive into dbd for the first time in foREVER.

[hostiae]

it's been a while since i dropped it so:

[hostiae]

#evil never looked THIS good.

[hostiae]

with all the tvl hype, i still really need benji to show up at shows to stalk lestat.

[hostiae]

Send “Over the Shoulder” for my muse’s reaction to suddenly being picked up and flung over your muse’s shoulder like a bag.

Send “Like a Bag” for my muse to suddenly pick up yours

[hostiae]

PROMPTS FOR PRE ESTABLISHED CONNECTIONS AND CREATING HISTORY BETWEEN CHARACTERS *  assorted dialogue for giving your characters a history and giving them past things or events to talk about, adjust as necessary

do you remember what i told you last time?

have you been doing well since i saw you?

that's not what you told me back then.

when was the last time i saw you?

you were shorter then.

i'm picking the restaurant this time.

we've known each other since we were children.

always knew i could count on you.

that time was different. this is worse.

you're not going to let me live that down, are you?

i seem to remember a conversation we had back then.

so you changed your mind about it?

do you remember our encounter in paris?

you should know me by now.

am i the only one that knows the truth?

we had a lot of help back then.

your mom told me to look out for you.

you just love bringing that back up to annoy me.

maybe don't mention my past indescretions?

this was never going to work out between us.

i told you not to get attached.

i know more about you than you think.

i was there, remember?

i'm not about to forget all the shit you put me through.

you told me you were going to try and make this work.

remember what i said to you?

the last time i saw you, things were good between us.

you never mentioned this before.

that was the longest flight of my life, and you made it worse.

can i still trust you after all that?

at least we tried to make something work.

we never discussed what happened between us.

okay, but i'm driving the car this time.

i haven't forgotten what you said last week.

i'm still thinking about your comment.

i didn't realize it was you when i first saw you.

you seem to make a lot of enemies around here.

there's not much for us to talk about.

we worked it out last time.

i know you far better than you know yourself.

we have a long history.

is that the shirt you were wearing last time?

what don't i know about you?

i haven't told them about us.

you were the only person i could go to.

you know me.

this is bigger than both of us.

i can't stand your driving.

are you taking me to the place we had dinner last time?

that's not at all what you said.

didn't we agree on that?

i thought i made it very clear where i stand.

are these the same people that came after you last time?

are you still going on about it?

can we talk about it?

staying silent about it won't help.

you're the only person who knows the real me.

this is a bad time to talk about your problems.

[hostiae]

for muses that are getting to know each other

❝ what's your favorite color and why? ❞

❝ can i come with you? ❞

❝ you have a nice smile, has anyone ever told you that before? ❞

❝ how do you take your coffee? ❞

❝ sorry, what was your name again? ❞

❝ it just occurred to me i never asked you what your last name is. ❞

❝ actually we've met before. ❞

❝ i've heard a few things about you. ❞

❝ care to join me? ❞

❝ i'm not really sure why i trust you. ❞

❝ i don't usually talk this much, it just feels easy to say stuff when you're listening. ❞

❝ i know we don't know each other that well but if you wanna talk about it... ❞

❝ could you help me with something? ❞

❝ do you like it here? ❞

❝ are you new around here? ❞

❝ you can ask me anything you want. i promise i'll answer truthfully except the things i feel like lying about. ❞

❝ i don't mean to be too forward, you just seem like you could use a friend right now. ❞

❝ you can come with me. i mean if you don't have anyone waiting for you. ❞

❝ we're friends now. you can ask me for help. ❞

❝ do you like this music? i can change it. ❞

❝ what are your favorite snacks? ❞

❝ really? i wouldn't have guessed that about you. ❞

❝ do you mind if i ask about it? ❞

ACTIONS:

VISIT: for sender to go to receiver's home for the first time

VISITED: for receiver to go to sender's home for the first time

CRYING: for sender to see receiver cry for the first time

CRIED: for receiver to see sender cry for the first time

BEGIN: sender and receiver are on their first date together

TRIP: our muses go on a group trip but end up stuck together, away from the rest of their friends.

SITUATION: our muses are acquainted because one of them is their friend's roommate. muse a shows up when their friend isn't there and ends up hanging out with muse b one on one.

GO: our muses go to a zoo or theme park together and get lost.

INVITE: sender cooks for receiver for the first time

INVITED: receiver cooks for sender for the first time

TOGETHER: our muses spend the night for the first time

TRY: our muses hooked up and are hanging out the next day

COMFORT: sender is going through a break up and receiver offers to cheer them up

COMFORTED: receiver is going through a break up and sender offers to cheer them up

OFFER: sender gives receiver a ride to the airport/picks them up

OFERED: receiver gives sender a ride to the airport/picks them up

AID: sender helps receiver redecorate

AIDING: receiver helps sender redecorate

[hostiae]

going to go hunt for some caffeine and i'll be here to scream at my drafts.

[hostiae]

years and years of clawing into his psyche would never provide a satisfying answer. the butterfly effect of his zealotry may haunt him, but it would do nothing for armand, would it? whatever trajectory the younger vampire had prior to his intervention had been burned to ash. the story of armand began under his doctrine. his jaw clenches, teeth together — what you did to me. of all the cruelty he directed, it was the sanctioned attack in venice that had been one of his cruelest crimes. he hadn't gone that night, but it was his instruction. not the details, but the overall act.

he'd felt a satisfying vengeance twisted in self-righteous justification, but beneath the surface his morality was twisted in knots at the anguish and terror of mortals captured and murdered, of a vampire fledgling abducted to be broken and reconfigured. he'd once shown sympathy and while genuine, it didn't stop what horrors he'd allowed, nor the impossible path he put him on. and how can he reconcile with the idea that he doesn't regret armand, but what he'd done to him?those two realities could never exist together.

❝ i can promise you, you won't uncover them with your fists. ❞ he doesn't continue to force space between them when he reaches for him again. this time he allows it, his boots firmly planted in the ground, a ringed hand coming overtop the one that held onto his. he doesn't move, even though the question feels sharp. santino's not ready for it. he'll never be ready for it. ❝ do you believe the answer to that question will ease any of the pain you have now? it will sound more senseless than it ever has before. ❞

fanaticism is an easy answer, but it ignores how personal it had been. the seed was planted before there'd been a house in venice to burn, planted as santino seethed in fury at the bottom of the staircase marius had thrown him down in rome. ❝ and perhaps you're right, perhaps you wouldn't have, but then, you may have still. fate is funny that way. ❞ santino steps closer this time, hand still on his, his other reaching for armand's chest, pressing a palm above his heart. ❝ i will accept your anger for my part in your agony, but i didn't cause this. ❞ stern, a pause, ❝ i did not tear you from your companion, nor your fledgling. and as i stand here, you aren't alone. ❞

so much suffering was to be had at the hands of men who leave before consequence could be dealt out. penance for existing, shame for surviving what the others could not. armand stands here before santino a pillar of his anguish, needing to punish him for the sins of lesser men. the adjudication has not yet come to a head. at one point in time armand had felt within himself a righteousness to match the cruelty, but the days of his divinity had waned considerably. with satan gone, and god not far behind, he was little but the angry, defeated boy in the cell he'd once been.

he could not forget these transgression's even if it might have made his burden lighter. he was older now; the stone of his existence weathering the storm, taking in the brine, the whipping winds, he is a patchwork of everything that has ever harmed him and more. somewhere, in his own heart, he recognizes that everything he feels for santino is misplaced and ill-shapen to receive. he was not the wailing, petulant rockstar but once he had been a cruel star in his sky so brightly lit that the moon itself blotted out; he did not spill armand's name to a reporter but he does carry the secret anyway, the story of what it took to become armand.

santino was nothing. and yet he was everything in relation to the people he loved. those eyes, those eyes that held him. ❛ what you did to me - i have not even begun to uncover what skeletons lie under the cemetery of our lives together. perhaps i never will. ❜ he's aware that even this anger is misplaced. santino wasn't cruel, he hadn't been the one to burn the boys or to spill their ashes in his face. but the sanction, the shackles, the haze in which he'd walked around in for centuries ... santino had a part to play. he did not make armand, but he did create him. the creation, diminished and small for all of his grief, leans towards him.

though he raises his hands to give himself the room to escape his ire, armand is no longer afraid. he grasps onto one of his hands, crumples it in his palm and gently allows the other to hit his chest. armand pushes, bottom lip jutted slightly. ❛ why couldn't you just leave me with him? you caused this. i wouldn't have met any of these people if it weren't for your righteous dictation. and here i am, alone. a product of your teachings and i am made lesser for it! again! ❜

[hostiae]

@minaharkerdailymirror asked: " the paper called me a menace." (Lestat? Santiago?)

a smile creeps across his face, chest rising and falling with a quiet laugh. he looks at her, narrowing his eyes — conspiratorial. ❝ how sinister, ❞ he replies. the vampire maintains a casual stance, shoulders relaxed against the building's facade, arms folded.

and while he knows better than to ever judge a book by its cover, he can't help but study mina curiously. ❝ a face like yours, i never would've guessed. ❞ she surely didn't look all that menacing.

[hostiae]

@pluresque asked: the darkness can only shield you from so much. - pandora to santino!

but where did santino thrive if not in the dark? had he not manifested a doctrine built in such a simple ideology? vampires belonged to the dark. and as it broke apart, as the haunting visions of the ancients tore down the system he'd given his faith to, he still found solace in shadow. he's a creature that survives by lurking where no one can see. he'd never find all the answers he sought from burying himself in the dark, but the impulse to self-preserve was strong.

it's easy for him to return to being a hermit, to hunker down for decades. and now, he's torn between the tug of obligation and a readiness to retreat into solitude. he's worried about the spotlight on vampires, worried that this could be a turning point, but even he isn't entirely sure what that means.

he looks at pandora, dark eyes soft, brow heavy in his uncertainty. ❝ it serves me well most times. ❞ not that he doesn't think she's right, but he wishes she weren't. ❝ i'm having visions of her again. coincidence, do you think? ❞

[hostiae]

@pluresque asked: are you sure you want to stick your nose into this? - daniel and benji :)

❝ fuck yes, ❞ benji barely lets daniel finish before he blurts out his answer. endlessly curious, endlessly nosy ( maybe he and daniel are more alike than he initially thought ), benji is fearless when it comes to learning more. the vampire strength helps and he imagines daniel must feel that too. he'd never had a chance at invincibility when he was human — and he'd witnessed death too many times to be innocent to it.

but as a vampire? he can't always fathom the limits of his strength.

he sits at the table with the other vampire, eyes skimming over various files on the computer, finding himself less interested in the information that was held there, but instead in who had found and collected all of it. ❝ they probably know more about us than we know about us, ❞ he adds, cigarette forgotten and burning away in the ashtray next to him.

❝ what's the worst that could happen? ❞

[hostiae]

ended up coming home from work early/taking a trip to urgent care. ✌️

[hostiae]