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taetaespeaches · 4 years ago

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“You’re not buying our kids $600 shoes.”

namjoon x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 2.1K

a/n: This fic takes place around the time Namjoon showed off those cute little baby shoes in his studio :( so early 2019?? so Joon and Daisy have been going strong a few months shy of a year and well, they’re already talking about babies (in the future) because you know, why not? They’re soulmates, they know what they want. Thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoy! :))

WITH your heavy workload, you hadn’t been able to visit Namjoon in the studio for quite some time and you missed it. There was a special appreciation you felt for the man as you watched him in his element.

Choosing to take a long lunch, you picked up some food and decided to surprise your man with some takeout and, well, you. Knowing the door was unlocked, you chose to knock anyway, just to tease your boyfriend by making him get up to answer the door.

“Come in,” his voice called out, you smirking to yourself as you simply knocked again. “Yeah, come in,” he welcomed again. One more knock, and you were met with silence as you awaited his appearance in the door frame. It didn’t take long for him to cross the space of his studio, the door opening to reveal you, leaning against the wall as you held the bag of food down at your leg.

“Delivery,” you smirked, Namjoon’s lips spreading into a happy grin as his eyes widened and brightened in excitement.

“Daisy,” he greeted happily, “Babe, what are you doing here?” He asked, stepping toward you, wrapping an arm around your lower back, pulling you into a sweet kiss.

“Well this is just way too much food to eat by myself,” you joked, gesturing to the bag by lifting your hand slightly. “Plus, I missed you,” you kissed him again. “Missed seeing you work,” you mumbled against his lips.

“I missed you too,” he replied with a grin. “Get in here,” he told you as he tugged you forward, pulling you both inside the studio before he shut the door.

You always loved Namjoon’s studio. It was perfectly decorated to represent his personality, and he took great pride in the space. The room had always been very comfortable. Like a second home.

“How long do I get you for?” He asked as he took the bag from you, setting it on the table the sat in front of his sofa.

“Um,” you thought as you looked around the space, noticing small changes in the placement of certain figures and books. “I have about an hour.”

“That’ll do,” he grinned, approaching you once again, taking your hand in his, leading you to the couch. “Thank you for visiting,” he told you genuinely. “And for the food,” he added, nodding toward the takeout boxes.

“Don’t thank me yet,” you smirked, “I could have brought all seafood, you don’t know yet.”

Looking to the boxes with wide eyes, Namjoon took a moment to crack a smile. “Then I’ll watch you eat,” he countered, you giggling as you reached to open the boxes, revealing various dishes Joon loved. “You’re amazing,” he complimented, placing a hand on your thigh as he leaned toward you, leaving a kiss to your exposed neck.

“It sounds like work should slow down a bit pretty quick then, right?” He asked, wiping his hands on a napkin as you reached to close up the boxes, having devoured the meal.

“Yeah, hopefully,” you confirmed. “If everything goes to plan.”

“I’m sure it will,” he assured you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“Thanks, Dimples,” you smiled graciously. “Are you working on anything right now?” You asked, nodding to the computer.

“Ah,” he exclaimed excitedly, you smiling fondly at his reaction. “The song is about done but I’ve been recording some adlibs to be added into the vocal sections. Just a bit. Right now they’re divided.” Humming in thought, you nodded. “You want to hear it?”

“Yes, please,” you replied enthusiastically, Namjoon standing and quickly approaching his computer.

“How much time do you have left?” He asked as he sat in his chair, you checking your phone for the time.

“Uh, ten minutes,” you told him, Namjoon nodding as he pulled up the track.

“Perfect,” he whispered as he clicked a few things before starting the song. “Ok, tell me what you think.”

The song started with a groovy R&B sound, and you instantly knew it would be a fan favorite. Jimin started with the first verse, his vocals light and airy and as perfect as ever. Then Taehyung sang a verse, the vocals richer and just as good. When Namjoon’s verse kicked in, you sat up, taking in the words and the delivery. The man knew exactly what he was doing when it came to music and he never failed to amaze you.

“This song is incredible, holy shit,” you told him. “You sound great.” The man turned in his chair to flash you a thankful smile, a slight shyness in his features. No matter how many times you complimented him, he never did get used to it.

The song was the kind of song that you almost just couldn’t help but dance to. It was also the kind of song you didn’t want to end. However, the ending was absolute perfection with Jungkook and Taehyung switching line for line before Taehyung did a small run, marking the official completion of the track.

Namjoon stared at you expectantly, you tossing your hands in the air. “That’s a fucking bop, babe, oh my god,” you smiled. “I’m obsessed with that, play it again.”

Chuckling at your sincere enthusiasm, he dipped his head down, looking toward his lap. “It’s good?”

“I think the words I used were a fucking bop,” you clarified. “It’s so good, I think your fans are going to lose their minds over that one.” The man breathed out a sigh of relief, looking at you with bright eyes as he smiled. “You said you’re recording adlibs?”

“Yeah, just to make the song sound more cohesive and rich,” he told you, you nodding quickly in understanding.

“I think that would be good,” you agreed, pretending as though you knew anything about music production. You had no real clue what you were saying, but you knew Namjoon sometimes just needed a boost in confidence over his decisions. “You know what’s best,” you assured him. “It’s going to be even better when it’s all done.”

Giving you a shy smile, he nodded his head a single time, almost as if he was respectfully bowing at you, making you giggle. “Thank you,” he said genuinely, you waving him off.

“Now, play it again,” you grinned. “I need to place it in my memory so I can replay it until the album comes out.”

Laughing, Namjoon turned back to the computer, restarting the track. As you listened, you began cleaning off the small table, placing the boxes in the bag before taking it to the trash can that sat across the room. The song filling the room, you looked around at Namjoon’s belongings, appreciating his collection of toys and figures. He was beyond endearing.

And then you spotted them. And your heart fluttered before butterflies formed in your belly. Utterly endearing.

You could feel Namjoon’s eyes on you as you reached for the small pair of shoes, holding them against your chest. Turning to face your soft boyfriend, you pouted. “What are these?”

Flashing his dimples at you, he chuckled shyly, covering his mouth in slight embarrassment as he lowered the volume on the track, which you later learned was titled ‘Home’. “I thought they were cute.”

“You’re cute,” you told him, looking down at the shoes. “Who buys baby shoes because they think they’re cute?” You giggled. “Oh my god, I love you so much.”

“Come here,” he told you, smiling widely at your reaction to the objects. Walking toward him, you carried the shoes in one hand, your other hand resting on his shoulder as his arms wrapped around your thighs. Tugging on you, you complied, sitting on his lap, placing the shoes in your lap.

“They are very cute,” you cooed, Namjoon smiling against your cheek before pressing a kiss to it.

“They would be super cute on a baby too, don’t you think?” He questioned, his shy demeanor mixing with his forward question.

“Do you ever think about having children together?” You asked him, skipping the passiveness of his hints, boldly jumping into the topic.

Smiling softly at you, he rested his dimpled cheek against your shoulder, toying with the little fringe on the shoe in your lap. “Why do you think I bought these?” Turning toward him, you kissed the side of his head affectionately.

“You’re the most adorable man ever,” you complimented, Namjoon letting out a breathy laugh at your comment. “You know I think about it too, right?” You asked him, Namjoon humming thoughtfully. “Someday. Like, I can wait to have kids, but I can’t wait to have kids with you,” you told him, causing Namjoon to lift his head to look into your eyes. “Does that make sense?”

Nodding his head, he shot you a dimply close-mouthed grin. “I can’t wait to have kids with you either,” his smile opened beautifully. Placing his forehead against your own, your hand moved from his shoulder to hold the side of his face.

“I seriously can’t wait to make you a dad, babe,” you pouted, Namjoon kissing your pouted lips quickly. “I almost think you were born to be a father.” Above all else, Namjoon really wanted children. It was his dream to be a dad, which you had briefly talked about before but never in depth. But you knew how excited he was about the possibility of having kids in the future, and it was impossible not to think about that possibility being a shared future. You knew Namjoon would be a natural at parenthood, and that was confirmed by the way his eyes teared up at your genuine compliment.

“I love you so much,” he confessed passionately, emphasizing the words in a way that told you he meant the confession with every fiber of his being as he kissed you once more. “I’m so excited to see you be a mother, babe, I think about it more than I’m even willing to admit,” he chuckled, you giggling with him, resting your cheek on his as you kissed the side of his nose through your smile.

“One day,” you told him. “I promise.” You moved to kiss is cheeks, peppering his face in pecks, the man squeezing the tops of your thighs as he laughed.

“These will probably be out of style by then, huh?” He thought out loud, patting the little shoes you still held onto.

“Mm, the little one could bring back the style. We’ll be raising a trend setter,” you smirked, Namjoon’s eyes widening in excitement. Oh god, combining fashion and children had to be Namjoon’s ultimate fantasy. Lifting the shoes to inspect them further, you pulled your eyebrows together skeptically. “Joon, are these designer?”

“Hm?” He questioned, pretending he didn’t hear your question.

“Namjoon. How much were these?” The man evaded your gaze looking back to his computer to check the time. “Joon.”

“Ah, dang it, it looks like your lunch hour is up,” he shot you a pout, you holding back a smile as you shook your head at him.

“$400?” You questioned, the man shaking his head. “More?” Namjoon shrugged. “$500?” Silence. “Namjoon, no,” you fought back your growing grin. “$600?”

“Not quite,” he countered, you sighing as your lips fully curved upward.

“You’re ridiculous,” you told him fondly as you placed the shoes very carefully on his desk. “I’ll let you handle those.” Standing from his lap the man chuckled at your reaction to the overpriced baby shoes.

“They’re so cute though, look at them,” he defended in a whiny tone. “They’re worth it, aren’t they?”

Shooting him a slight glare, you hummed. “Sure, Dimples,” you teasingly agreed. “I’ll see you at home,” you bid him farewell, placing a kiss to his lips before you headed towards the door.

“See you at home, Daisy,” he called out, watching you walk away.

“I love you,” you told him as you created more distance between you both “but you’re not buying our kids $600 shoes,” you informed him as you opened the door.

“They weren’t even $600, stop exaggerating,” he smiled as you stepped outside.

“It’s not happening,” you yelled to him just before the door shut, separating you from the man until you both arrived home later that night.

As Namjoon sat in his studio, chuckling to himself fondly as he stared at the baby shoes, you walked down the corridor, giggling to yourself about the silly soft man that you absolutely planned to marry and have kids with one day. And though that day was still far off, you were both picturing it vividly in that moment. And it was perfect.

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theonewiththefanfics · 4 years ago

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Because Hearts Get Broken - I Know That You’re Scared (Part 2/3)

Continuation of ‘Because Hearts Get Broken’ - see my masterlist for it :)

Synopsis: She’s trying to move on. He’s still hoping for a chance

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Reader

Genre: angsty, bruh, but with a sprinkle of fluff and a hopeful (??) ending

Warnings: swearing, emotionally distant mindset... can’t think of anything else, really.

Word count: 3656

Heartbreak isn’t loud. Y/N doesn’t even know if it had a sound what it would be like. Like glass shattering against the ground? Or maybe like a book being ripped and shredded apart, memories of time spent together ruined. Or maybe it'd like the crackle of a fire, as it slowly but surely crept up and turned everything into charred remains before it became nothing but ash and was carried away by the winds.

No one in her family talked about feelings. If they did all they received back was ‘suck it up. That’s life’. After that, it was time to move on. So, when she got together with probably the most open-hearted person in the world, it was almost laughable.

Y/N had always been the friend others went for advice, relationship or not, but she herself never asked for one, simply because she didn’t wanna bother anyone. Not that she thought the others were bothers. It’s just having grown up in a household where emotions were basically suppressed, opening up was quite impossible.

Then came Harry. Perfect, impossible, loving, sweet, kind, ridiculously open Harry. God, she just wanted to punch him because no one should be that nice.

January 2nd, 2020 he’d called her up, having gotten Y/N’s number from Sarah (after ages of pleading, because as much as Sarah sometimes couldn’t handle drunk Y/N, she’d defend and protect her until the very last breath), and they set up a coffee date.

Slowly but surely, they spent more and more time together and seeing as her job had her based in LA for a while, visiting Harry was no problem. Then the pandemic hit, and on March 18th the whole stay-at-home order was issued in California.

Y/N was in a panic. She was meant to leave LA in ten days, and the hotel her company was paying for had been paid until the 28th. With all flights getting rapidly cancelled, she was scrambling to get one, but even her firm was unable to get her a seat. That’s when Harry had called up, his tone a worried, urgent mess as to if Y/N was alright and what her plans were.

Of course, him being him, he immediately offered her a place to stay.

“We don’t even need to stay in the same room, there’s like five other guest rooms you can take up,” he tried to joke, and ease her tension.

“Fuck, Harry, just rub it in how rich you are.” Y/N cackled, and when she heard him laugh in the background, her heart did that stupid fluttery thing she’d grown so used to.

It took a little persuasion from Harry’s side, and reassurance at least seven more times, that Y/N wouldn’t be intruding on his space, and he was more than happy to spend the quarantine with someone else, instead of being alone, and that in no way her taking over a room or two would limit him and his own artistic endeavours. So, apprehensively Y/N packed her suitcases, grabbed an uber, wearing a mask the whole time, and drove to Harry’s place.

When Y/N saw the gated community and the palace he was living in, the inside of her cheek was practically bitten in half. They’d barely been together for three months, and now she was basically moving in with him, but given how it was either live with Harry in a fucking mansion or walk across the country to New York, she took the first option.

As much as Harry loved on her, pretty much shagging her brains out every possible second, and loving on her until her cheeks hurt from smiling, the anxiety about the whole situation never left.

Harry was worried about his mom and sister, Y/N was scared of what was happening in New York. So, when the state boarders opened, immediately, although reluctantly, she flew back to her apartment and her dying plants, but never forgetting to FaceTime with Harry. But they couldn't stay away long from one another.

Which is why they decided, given how she was able to work from home now, and Harry could do so as well, they’d fly over to one another every two weeks, quarantine together for the next two weeks, and then fly to the other place. Her boss actually loved the idea that Y/N was so willing to go back and forth between the two cities, so all her flights were written off as business expenses, not to mention when she said she wouldn’t need a hotel, he was more than thrilled to let her be in LA whenever she wanted, as long as her work got done.

It seemed funny to her now, that before Y/N couldn’t wait to get back to the sunny state of Cali. Now when she had to fly over (which was just a couple of times since the breakup), going through JFK security made her sweat, and landing was a vomit-inducing action. And the last time she’d gotten back to the home-base state, she’d actually thrown up, Harry’s last words ringing in her ears.

It’d been three weeks since Sarah’s New Year party, and three weeks since she’d spoken to him although he still kept calling. Every morning she’d wake up to a couple of notifications of missed calls, and each time she’d listen to the messages; it was all the same – I miss your voice. And every time she’d listen to it, her thoughts were exactly the same. You could say it was almost pathetic as to how many times she’d listened to his albums, just to hear him sing. Almost like he used to do right before she fell asleep.

But Y/N had no one else but herself to blame for it. She’d been the one to call it quits, she’d been the one who walked out of his apartment, and the one who decided she wouldn’t fight.

Now, she was sat by her small magazine table, documents spread out in front of her as if a tornado had rolled through, while an apple and cinnamon candle spread its delicious scent through the air.

Y/N would only admit it once because, well, the proof was all over the apartment, but she was very lazy when it came to taking away the Christmas décor. It made her feel warm and comfy. And it reminded her of Harry. How when she’d woken up after their first date, already in the new year, he still had colourful fairy lights strung across the curtain rods, giving everything a soft, cosy glow.

He’d also been the one who convinced her that a real Christmas tree was so much better than a plastic one.

“Yes, it’s a hassle,” he’d said through slurred words as they’d slinked away from the partying crowd after the countdown was done, and each of them had taken three shots of vodka. “But it’s so worth it. Smells like a fucking forest in your room. Like proper Christmas!”

And although she’d spent this holiday season alone, Harry had been right. Just like he’d been right about Y/N.

She tapped her pen against the glass surface and readjusted her position on the floor.

“This is the periodic table, noble gases stable, halogens and alkali react aggressively,” Y/N hummed as she highlighted the incorrect parts of the paper in front of her. “Each period will see new outer shells, while electrons are added moving to the right.”

Just as she was about to start off the second verse, her doorbell rang, and her stomach gurgled in response.

“Ugh,” she groaned to herself. “Pasta come to fuckin’ mama.”

But when she opened the door, she wasn’t greeted by the Uber Eats delivery man.

“Harry.”

Y/N was taken aback. She didn’t expect him to visit her, especially not so soon and especially to fly out to New York (as much as he was most likely there to do other stuff as well, her gut told her he was there for her).

Sure, she hoped that one day they could be friends, if not acquaintances, he was too important of a person for her to lose completely from her life, but that was looking like five years into the future.

“I bring gifts.” He raised his hand where her boxes of food hung in a paper bag. “Can I?”

“Uh, yeah, of course!” She shook her head to clear it from the shock and allowed Harry to enter into the warmth of her apartment and escape from the cold January air.

“I was on my way up when the delivery man came in, and I recognised by the boxes it was yours.” The smirk on Harry’s face was something Y/N loved to see, but usually, she liked to also wipe it away. Preferably with her own lips.

She let out a small scoff, not waiting to see if he followed inside, as she scurried to the adjacent kitchen and grabbed two plates, while he opened up the white cardboard containers and allowed the delicious smell of spaghetti Bolognese as well as a carbonara waft into the air. Y/N had wanted to eat the latter at some point during the night when the munchies hit, but she supposed Harry was probably hungry as well. “Maybe there’s someone else here, who likes Italian.”

“Probably, but only you would order from the shittiest Italian restaurant just because they have pesto and parmesan bread.”

“Hey!” She slapped his arm. “They’re not shit. They provide me with everything I need – calories, carbs and bread.”

“What more does a person need?”

“Exactly!”

Both of them let out small chuckles and then settled down on her couch to dig into the meal. They ate in silence, and despite Y/N’s initial shock, it wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, they were sitting pretty much shoulder to shoulder, as she watched Harry re-read the spread-out articles on the table and use her marker to tick some stuff that could use re-wording. He had a knack for words, after all.

“I uh…” He wiped his mouth with one of the napkins provided by the diner before clasping his fingers together and looking at the woman sitting next to him, as she slowly set her empty plate on the small cupboard beside the sofa. “I was hoping we could talk.”

Y/N hung her head. She should’ve known he wasn’t here to just check-in and have some dinner. “We already did. Twice might I add. What makes you think this time the ending will be different?”

“Third times the charm?” Harry let out a little laugh, and she rolled her eyes. “Look, I didn’t wanna leave everything the way I did. I – I said some pretty shit things.”

Y/N fiddled with her thumb. ‘I had,’ Harry’s words echoed in her head. ‘Only she didn’t trust that I loved her the same.’ “Nothing that was untrue though.”

“See, that’s where I think both of us are wrong.”

That was not what Y/N thought this conversation would be whatsoever.

“I – “ He cleared his throat. “I know I said I didn’t think you trusted me that I loved you enough. I think you know I did – do.”

If Y/N still had any food in her mouth she would’ve choked on it, as she bit back the rising lump in her throat, but instead of interrupting him, she let Harry continue. “And honestly, it’s not your fault that it fell apart, ‘s my fault too. I pushed you to do something, you didn’t want to, weren’t comfortable with, when you told me not to… just because I wanted to feel important, ‘nd because I wanted to get a role in your life you weren’t ready for yet. And I’m sorry for doing that. I should’ve never forced you.”

“Harry…” Y/N was at a complete loss. “I – I don’t really know what to say.”

He took her left hand in his and clasped it, finally able to properly say what'd been eating away at him. “During the New Year party, I didn’t go about it the right way. I was just – I was just still so hurt, and I wanted you to hurt the same because… it didn’t seem like you cared at all, which I know you did… I know you loved me, and…” He took in a deep breath. “I hope that you still do. At least enough to give us another chance. We can take it at your pace,” he instantly added, knowing how she’d react, expecting the sigh and the almost tired and resigned ‘Harry’ that escaped her lips. But he’d say everything on his mind. “You can take how long you need to feel like you can trust me with what’s bothering you.”

“Harry,” she repeated, but it didn’t seem like he was about to stop.

“But I think we can do it, and we can do it right this time. We know where we stand, we won't make the same mistakes.”

Y/N’s hand came to rest against his cheek, and he practically melted, engulfing her palm with his as to not let her touch leave his skin for even a second. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Look, I know, you’re scared, and the thing is, so am I. I don’t want it to end like that or end. Period. But I do want to try again.”

And if nothing but to humour him Y/N asked, “And if it does end the same way?”

“It won’t.” He was so sure of it, she had to laugh.

“Harry, the big difference between us is – you like to talk about your feelings. You like to go through them and stuff. I don’t. I feel… icky when I even think about talking to someone of what I feel. We’re just too opposite.”

“Opposites attract.”

“No,” she pointed a finger at him, stifling her laughter, though Harry seemed not to be hiding his smile. “Do not use science against me.”

He raised his hands as if in surrender. “I’m not, I’m just supporting my point with facts. Scientific facts, that you can’t argue against.”

“I mean…” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno… Maybe it was a good thing we ended it when we did. It was ten months – almost ten – amazing months, but… can you imagine if we’d gone so far as to think about moving in together, and then it fell apart? That would’ve been a whole different kind of a mess.”

“Do you love me?”

Y/N sighed, resting her cheek against the couch while she smoothed away his brown locks from his face. “Of course, I do. Don’t think there will be a time in my life I don’t.”

“Then that’s all I need.”

“Is that really enough for you?”

“Yes.”

And there was no lie in that single word. Did he want for Y/N to feel comfortable enough with him that she talked about whatever concerned her, however small? Of course. But he also wanted her to be comfortable enough to be herself. If that meant her keeping things to herself, and trusting Harry to support her decisions, it’d be enough.

Her Y/E/C eyes hadn’t left his green ones, and they only widened as he leaned forwards and pressed his forehead to hers.

“Haz…”

Fuck, how he’d missed her calling him that. It wasn’t an exclusive nickname by any means, but when it came from Y/N’s mouth, it was the sweetest sound in the universe.

He was her Haz when he broke a plate, he was her Haz when she threw her head back as pleasure exploded through her body, he was her Haz when he took her hand in his to quell her anxiety, and he was her Haz when he gave her tissues as they watched a movie, and she couldn’t help but cry each time a dog or cat died (or a dragon, but he was a sobbing mess as well because ‘Dragonheart’ messed with them both).

His lips were so close, and just as they skimmed over her own, Y/N’s phone rang making her physically spring back, eyes like saucers.

“S – Sorry,” she stammered, scrambling to find the annoying device between the cushions. It was Sarah’s name that lit up her screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” Y/N started, voice trembling and shaky. God, when had she suddenly gone so out of breath? And why was her head so dizzy, as if she’d just gotten off a rollercoaster?

“Yeah, he’s here,” she replied, eyeing Harry. “Yeah, just a sec,” and Y/N handed him her phone with a quiet ‘why’s your phone always dead?’

‘Didn’t know it died’, he said, but that was untrue. He’d turned it off so this sort of a situation wouldn’t happen; so a call or text wouldn’t interrupt him at the most critical moment. He had to give the universe a proper talk once he was done.

“ ‘Ello?”

Seconds of silence passed, and Y/N didn’t like how weird it was, so she took the empty plates and put them in the sink to soak.

“Now?”

She could see the frustration rise in Harry as his forehead creased, and he let a hand rake through his hair. “Fuck’s sake… yeah, I’ll be there in ten. ‘S alright,” he sighed. “Not your fault Sarah. Tell Jeff not to worry, and that I’m not dead.”

With that, he pressed the red button and ended the call, drumming his fingers against the screen. God, he really didn’t want to leave. Not now. Not after he’d been so close.

“Uh, work?” Y/N asked, arms crossed in front of her as if she was protecting herself from the answer.

“Yeah, sorry. I uh a meeting from tomorrow got rescheduled for tonight, like right now because there was some sort of an emergency from the label’s side."

“ ‘S alright, I get it. Showbiz never stops.” Y/N motioned to the door. “I’ll walk you out.”

There were a couple of times in his life Harry wanted to give himself a beating. Once when he was six and Gemma had told on him after he’d broken a favourite vase of their mothers, he decided to get revenge and destroy her favourite plushie. He’d never forget the tears Gem had cried, and how absolutely heartbroken she’d sounded. He vowed although he was the little brother, to never ever let anyone hurt her like that, and if someone did, they’d meet their maker sooner rather than later.

The second time was when he was still a teenager, One Direction on the rise, and it had gotten to his head just a little bit more than it should’ve. He’d gotten really messed up at a party (which Harry shouldn’t have even been at). The disappointment on his mother’s face as she scolded him through FaceTime was gut-wrenching enough to make him promise to always know the limit.

And Harry guessed this was the third time.

He could’ve said no to the meeting. Jeff was there and so was Sarah and Mitch. The three of them could handle it for him. It’s not like he would mind much whatever they came up with if it had given him the time to settle things with Y/N.

“It was great to see you, Harry.” She brought him out from the thoughts as she unlocked the door and opened it for him, bringing her jumper sleeves over her palms to hide from the cold outside air. “Really. I – I missed you, and honestly, I’m glad we got to talk. I uh well, take care. And say hi to Sarah from me please.”

“I – “ he took hold of Y/N’s wrist before she could turn away. “I’m holding a small concert in a week. Here in uh in New York. It’s for charity… I want you to come.”

“I umm… I’ll have to check if I’m free, but yeah. I will. Thank you.”

“ ‘S no problem… Sarah missed you like crazy now that you’re not in LA as often… ‘n yeah. Anyway. I’ll put your name on the guest list, so just bring some ID, and they’ll let you backstage.”

“Okay,” she whispered and gave him a small, genuine smile. “Thank you. I’ll really try to come.”

“Yeah.”

And he was going to go without doing anything else. Harry truly was. But as he released her wrist, going to the stairs, he gave Y/N one last glance back, and it was like his feet had a mind of their own, as they carried him back to where she stood by the still open door, grabbed her by the waist and pressed his lips to hers.

He expected Y/N to push him away, but to his very huge delight, she didn’t. Instead, her fingers wove through his hair and her legs almost on instinct rose so he could take her by the thighs, wrap them around his middle and press her against the doorway.

The groan that Harry swallowed from Y/N only ignited the fire that’d been burning ever since he met her, but it wasn’t the destructive kind, like the ones that leave nothing but charcoal behind. It was warm. Safe. Like the light of a fairy light. Like the embrace of home.

“Come to the show,” he muttered against Y/N’s lips, as they broke apart, and he set her down on the ground, not letting go until he was sure she was steady on her feet. “I’ll wait for you.”

With that, he left because if he didn’t, he’d make sure Y/N would be unable to walk for a week.

And Y/N watched him retreat while her brain fought with her heart.

What was it he’d sung in ‘Golden’, as he’d twirled her in the sea of bodies and glitter a little bit more than a year ago? ‘Loving is the antidote?’

Maybe love was the antidote to her fear.

She closed the door.

And smiled.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife @ollyoxenfrees @bnhvrdy @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl @sj-thefan @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue @im-squished

Harry Styles tags: @sarcasticallywitty15 @breezykpop @girlboss99 @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist @alliyjane @sirtommyholland

A/N: I’ve been listening to ‘Fine Line’, ‘The Periodic Table Song’, ‘Welcome to the Christmas Parade’ (Welcome to the Black Parade mix with All I Want For Christmas) and ‘Rasputin’ Boney M remix exclusively... I feel like a complete crackhead... :D

Decided to tag also those who wanted a part 2 but didn’t necessarily ask to be tagged :)

P.S. I guess there will be a part 3???

P.S.S. if you wanna be added to a tag list drop me a message :)

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #harry styles fandom #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x fem!reader #harry styles x you #golden #fine line #one direction #one direction imagine #1d #1d fan fiction #harry styles angst #harry styles and y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles and you #harry styles and reader

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maximura · 3 years ago

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MAXSIX: 21 SONGS OF 2021

Hello friends. Well, 2021 was just very unusual but I feel very fortunate to have survived it with most of my health and sanity intact. I think we got a great amount of music this year and I know I always miss some tracks but here is my annual Favourite Songs List. Happy New Year and I hope it will be an upgrade for you all, in every way.

21. Boy In The Mirror by Punchnello. When people only hear KPOP rapping and think that’s the pinnacle, I hope they click and listen to Punchnello. This is so sinister and aggressive. Kidd King is unhinged but he nailed this assignment. I’m not always in the mood to commit crimes but when I am, this is the song for it.

20. Right Now by Gaho. I wish he had a bigger career because his voice is just beautiful and has such depth and nuance to it. You can really feel the cathartic emotional journey he wants to take you on. All the best artists are good at taking us on the ride with them and writing good bridges. I hope to hear more from him in 2022.

19. The Feels by Twice. It’s just cute and feel good. I really love Jihyo and Nayeon’s voice on the chorus, there’s something very 80s pop about that explosive delivery. So spunky!

18. Lazy by Woosung. Another absolutely gorgeous voice that is often overlooked. His voice is like sinking into a big comfy velvet chair. I love his band, The Rose, but I also really vibe with him as a solo artist. This song is such a comforting lazy mood. Who isn’t sick of shaving?

17. Popping by ONF. The link is for the live band version because they are one of the very few groups who actually sound so much better live, especially that chord progression. This song is so summery and joyful and feel good. After the year we’ve all had, I’ve been trying to drag the goth girl in me into the sunshine, haha. It pains me how few views legit great pop songs have compared to the bigger groups.

16. Thunderous by Stray Kids. Adding purely because it gives me energy on the drive to work. I really didn’t like it when it came out because it was just so chaotic and I was not in the right frame of mind to process all that. I want to harness and weaponise that chaos energy for 2022.

15. Mafia In The Morning by ITZY. I unironically enjoy this song. Sure it’s ridiculous trash but it’s fun and sometimes that’s all you really want on a stressful day. The girls really stood out at all the end of year shows because this song makes for a great dramatic stage.

14. Maverick by The Boyz. So fun, so heavy, such a pretty music video. There’s something in that chorus that reminds me of 2nd Gen Vintage SM KPOP. That’s a compliment. There was a time when all the greatest pop choruses came from SM. They’ve had such a great 2021 and I’m really happy for their success because the music was actually great.

13. Red Lights by Bang Chan & Hyunjin. I really love the vocals on this and I wish they used that low register in Hyunjin’s voice more often. The end product really reflected what they wanted to achieve and that’s cool. But it activated my dark slutty mode, which is not so cool. No comment on that BDSM music video.

12. Sad Kids by Taemin. Man, does anyone do angst like this dude? His voice is either really sweet or he sounds like he’s about to cry or make someone else cry. No year is complete without me getting into my Depressed-Bitch mood to Lee Taemin. I just get him. He just gets me. Yeah. Hurry up Legend, KPOP needs you back.

11. New Axis by NCT (Taeyong, Mark, YangYang). I’m really surprised that I like anything off the NCT2021 album at all because Resonance was really fun. I don’t always vibe with Taeyong’s rapping style but as time goes by, I’ve come to appreciate how unique and weird it is. Nobody raps like him, for better or worse, and NCT is kinda boring when he’s not there. I love that Yangs is getting more action here. He’s always been the better rapper in WayV. Justice prevails. Super cool of him to be rapping in this fourth language, damm.

10. The Real by ATEEZ. They lost me for a bit this year but The Real really brought back all the energy and idiosyncrasies that only Ateez can do. They’re so theatrical and ridiculous, it’s often too over the top, but The Real was the perfect amount of camp, fun and self awareness. Their MAMA stage was definitely one of the highlights. It felt so fresh. I would die for Mingi. Leo rappers make the best rappers. Facts.

9. Dreams Come True by S.E.S. Okay. So this came out in 1998 but was remastered by SM in November 2021. So it counts. Because I said so. I loved it as a child and I still love it as an adult. Nostalgia is one hell of a drug because I didn’t actually mind Aespa’s cover either.

8. Drunk Daze by Enhypen. I had this on repeat for so long that I’m sure my house and car sounded like a eurobeat club for a months on end. I bought their album on the strength of this one song and fortunately, they’re really promising for a bunch of rookie kids. Don’t fuck this up HYBE, you’re on the thinnest of ices.

7. Don’t Call Me by Shinee. I love this song. It’s such Scorpio Energy; blunt, unapologetic, pointedly cruel in the name of being honest. Toxic relationships belong in the trash but this song belongs in my top 10. I can’t believe they’re still this good and on form even 13 years after debut. Legendary.

6. Rosario by Epik High. The highest level of skills involved here. The lyrics, the imagery, the rapping, the Zico, the Mithra Fucking Jin. I thought they pitched CL’s chorus way too high and her voice can be really grating but apart from that, the rest was brilliant. Add this one to my Commit-Crimes playlist.

5. 0x1 Lovesong by TXT. I have to be in the mood for this song but once i’m in it, I’ll blast it loudly and repeatedly. There’s something to be said for the way TXT was able to soundtrack our feelings about 2021. It was just a really unusual and tough year and whilst one method of escape is into cute/crazy pop songs, the other is finding one that you vibe with on an emotional plane.

4. Advice by Taemin. And you thought I forgot this one, huh? Not a chance. This song is just so Taemin. I could go on and on about it but the truth is, you can see all the effort and consideration and detail he put in here. The music, the video, the colour scheme (black and white for the piano keys, teal-aqua for Shinee), the lyrics, the very deliberate use of things that people criticised him for. This might not be a fan favourite but for me, it’s one of the pinnacles of his creative career because it has so many layers of him in it. The fun fast-paced pop song tricks you into thinking that’s it’s another shallow song. But oh no, there’s so much more beneath the surface.

3. Lovesong cover by pH-1, Woodie Gochild and Seori. This is the true essence of a ‘cover’. It is not merely a re-recorded version of the original song, it sounds completely different with a different mood and vibe. Everyone understood the assignment here. I like hearing Taehyun’s voice raw like this, without the loud backing track of the original song. There are some songs that I love listening to, some songs that I love singing to and some songs that I wish I could do a cover of. This one is all three.

2. Anti Romantic by TXT. Well written, well performed, well balanced, well produced, had a chorus, had lyrics that caught me off guard, had a pop melody with emotional depth. It’s never sounded bad, no matter how many repeats. It’s a mood. It’s got my favourite opening lyrics because man, I really felt that. But the only reason it’s not number 1 is....

1. LO$ER=LO♡ER by TXT. They are my group of the year. I’ve never had so many songs from one group on my end of year list before. I tried to talk myself out of it and take the bias glasses off but no, I liked the songs before I knew what a Kang Taehyun even was and the CD has not left my car in over 4 months. The Chaos Chapter was a Fucking Unforgettable Era. I just feel so fortunate to have witnessed in real time. This song/album/era was completely perfect for me. I loved every single thing about it. LL had my favourite lyric of 2021 and I still want to know who came up with, “Lover with a Dollar Sign is a Loser”.

#favourite songs #21 songs of 2021 #music #song list #maxsix list #text

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crowdvscritic · 4 years ago

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round up // MARCH + APRIL 21

March and April were a whirlwind of vaccines and awards shows! A full year after we starting staying at home, the end of this weird chapter in recent history seems like it might finally be coming to a close, and this pop culture awards season—typically a time full of fun and glamour—captured our moment weirdly well. (Emphasis on the weird.) This month’s recommendations is filled with more Critic Picks than usual, so without further delay, let’s dive right in...

March + April Crowd-Pleasers

Double Feature — 2018 Action Thrillers: Bad Times at the El Royale + Den of Thieves

In Bad Times at the El Royale (Crowd: 9/10, // Critic: 8/10), Jeff Bridges, Cynthia Erivo, Jon Hamm, Chris Hemsworth, and Dakota Johnson are staying at a motel on the California-Nevada state line full of money, murder, and mystery. In Den of Thieves (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), Gerard Butler takes on some of the best bank robbers in the world. Whether you like your action with a dose of mystery or the thrills of plot twists, these will fit the bill.

Double Feature — ‘80s Comedies: Caddyshack (1980) + Splash (1984)

In the mood for pure silliness? Take your pick between a mermaid and a gopher! Five years before The Little Mermaid, Tom Hanks fell for Daryl Hannah’s blonde hair and scaly tail, and John Candy was his goofy brother in Splash (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10). And four years before Ghostbusters, Bill Murray was the goof on a golf course full of funny people like Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, and Ted Knight in Caddyshack (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10).

Double Feature — 1980s Coming-of-Age Films Starring Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland, and Challenging Brother Relationships That Influenced Stranger Things: Stand by Me (1986) + The Lost Boys (1987)

Believe it or not, I had no idea these two ‘80s classics had so much in common when I chose to watch them back-to-back. In Rob Reiner’s adaptation of Stephen King’s Stand by Me (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10), four kids (Feldman, Jerry O’Connell, River Phoenix, and Wil Wheaton) are following train tracks to find a missing body. In The Lost Boys (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10), Corey Haim and Jason Patric move to a small California town and discover it’s full of ‘80s movie star cameos and…vampires? One is a thoughtful coming-of-age story and one is just bonkers, but both are a great time.

Spaceman by Nick Jonas (2021)

My love for the Jonas Brothers is well-documented, so instead of going down the rabbit hole I started digging at 15, I’ll talk about how Nick Jonas’s latest solo album will likely appeal to a wider audience than just the fans of the brothers’ bombastic pop records. It’s full of catchy tunes you’ll play on repeat and an R&B-influenced album experience about the loneliness we’ve experienced in the last year and how we try to make long-term relationships work.

Ted Lasso (2020- )

I love stories about nice people crushing cruelty and cynicism with relentless kindness, and Ted Lasso (Jason Sudeikis) is the warmest, most dedicated leader this side of Leslie Knope. Be sure to catch up on these witty and sweet 10 episodes before season 2 drops later this summer.

Double Feature — Tony Scott Action Flicks: Enemy of the State (1998) + The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)

Tony Scott’s movies have got explosions and excitement in spades. I love a good man-on-the-run movie, and in Enemy of the State (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10), Will Smith is running through the streets of D.C. after getting evidence of a politician’s (Jon Voight) part in a murder. I also love a tense story set in a confined space, which is what Denzel Washington is dealing with in The Taking of Pelham 123 (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) after a hammy John Travolta takes a New York subway train hostage.

Double Feature — Baseball Movies: The Natural (1984) + Trouble With the Curve (2012)

Sue me—I love baseball movies. Robert Redford plays a fictional all-time great in the early days of the MLB in The Natural (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10), and Clint Eastwood plays a fictional all-time great scout in his late career in Trouble With the Curve (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10). If you love baseball or actors like Amy Adams, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall, and Justin Timberlake, these movies are just right here waiting for you.

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Nate Bargatze: The Greatest Average American (2021)

Sue me—I enjoy Netflix standup comedy specials that are safe enough to watch with your whole family. That’s exactly the crowd I laughed with over Easter weekend, and while the trailer captures Bargatze’s relaxed vibe, it doesn’t capture how funny he really is.

The Mighty Ducks (1992)

I thought somewhere in my childhood I’d seen at least one of The Mighty Ducks movies, but after watching all three, I think my memories must’ve come from previews on the VHS tapes for other Disney movies I watched over and over again. The original still holds up as an grown-ups, which is why even my parents got sucked in to this family movie while just passing through the living room. Bonus for ‘80s movies lovers: Emilio Estevez is basically continuing Andrew Clark’s story from The Breakfast Club as an adult. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10

Double Feature — New, Dumb Action on Streaming: Godzilla vs. Kong + Thunder Force (2021)

If you want something intelligent, go ahead and skip to the next recommendation, but if you’re looking for something stupid fun, these are ready for you on HBO Max and Netflix. Thunder Force (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6/10) follows Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer as they train to become superheroes who take on superhuman sociopaths wreaking havoc on Chicago, and alongside Jason Bateman, they do it with a lot of laughs. Godzilla vs. Kong (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 5/10) is, um, exactly what it sounds like, so I’ll skip a plot summary and just say it’s exactly what you want from this kind of movie. #TeamKong

3:10 to Yuma (2007)

All you need to know is Russell Crowe is an outlaw, and Christian Bale is the guy who’s got to get him on the train to prison. I also watched the 1957 version, which is also a solid watch if you love classic Westerns. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Falcon and the Winter Soldier (2021)

Marvel’s newest series isn’t nearly as inventive as WandaVision, and it may not land every beat, but it’s worth a watch for the fun new gadgets, Sebastian Stan’s dry joke delivery, and its exploration into themes of what makes a hero and what governments owe their citizens. It’s a pretty satisfying entry in the MCU canon, but I’d also recommend re-watching Captain America: Winter Soldier and Civil War—the canon is getting expansive, and it’s getting trickier every year to keep up with all the backstory.

March + April Critic Picks

Best of 2020 Picks

As per usual, the months leading up to the Oscars becomes a binge period for potential Oscar nominees. In March and April, I watched many of the films that made my Top 20 of 2020, including Boys State, The Father, Judas and the Black Messiah, Let Them All Talk, Minari, Nomadland, On the Rocks, One Night in Miami…, Promising Young Woman, Soul, and Sound of Metal. You can read how I ranked them on my list for ZekeFilm, plus reviews of The Father, Minari, Promising Young Woman, and Soul.

Bonus: If you loved On the Rocks, don’t miss this feature and beautiful photography starring Sofia Coppola, Kirsten Dunst, Elle Fanning, and Rashida Jones for W Magazine.

Stranger Than Fiction (2006)

What would you do if you started hearing a voice who narrated your every thought and move? If you’re Will Ferrell, you’ll seek out a literary professor (Dustin Hoffman), fall in love (with Maggie Gyllenhaal), and track down the voice (Emma Thompson) who’s making ominous predictions about your future. Stranger Than Fiction is funny thought-provoking, and an unusual but welcome role for Ferrell. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

All the Royal Family News

Speaking of stranger than fiction, it’s been a busy few months for the Royal Family. We’ve celebrated 95th birthday of Queen Elizabeth, the 3rd birthday of Prince Louis, and the 10th anniversary of Will and Kate’s marriage. We also lost Prince Philip, and we watched the drama of Harry and Meaghan’s interview with Oprah. No matter what happens to their Crown, I don’t think we’ll ever get over our fascination with the Windsor family. A few pieces worth reading from the last few months:

“In Meghan and Harry’s Interview, Two TV Worlds Collided,” Vulture.com

“The Queen’s Man: Philip, Duke of Edinburgh, Dies,” TIME.com

“Obituary: HRH The Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh,” BBC.com

Goodfellas (1990)

One of my film opinions that makes me feel like a phony is that Martin Scorsese just isn’t my cup of tea. He’s brilliant, but his films tend to be long and dark, two qualities that are never my first choice…and somehow Goodfellas still worked for me? Maybe it was the TV edit graciously toning down the violence or maybe it was that Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci were firing on all cylinders, but for some reason this ‘90s classic didn’t suck the joy out of my evening like Scorsese often does. (Bonus: For a Martin Scorsese/Robert De Niro I don’t really recommend, head to the last section of this Round Up.)

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Fearless (Taylor’s Version) (2021)

Her voice has only matured, so Taylor Swift revisiting her old albums is like upgrading a blast to the past. Plus, the six new tracks make me feel like 15 crushing on that boy in Spanish class again, and her Grammys performance (just before her third Album of the Year win) was magical and folklore-tastic.

Double Feature — ‘60s Action Classics: The Guns of Navarone (1961) + Planet of the Apes (1968)

The Guns of Navarone (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) follows Gregory Peck and David Niven as they destroy Nazi weapons in the Mediterranean. Planet of the Apes (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) follows Charlton Heston as he attempts to escape from, well, a planet full of apes. The pacing of ‘60s films doesn’t always hold up, but that’s not the case with this pair. Both are still full of suspense, and you can’t go wrong hanging with casts like these.

Let Him Go (2020)

Kevin Costner and Diane Lane play a farming couple who unexpectedly help raise a boy who lost his biological father—sound familiar? But instead of a superhero origin story, they’re part of a thrilling Western with performances nuanced (Costner and Lane) and showy (Lesley Manville). If I’d watched this before completing my Best of 2020 piece, it likely would’ve been on my list. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

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The Oscars

I’m a ride-or-die fan of the Academy Awards, but I’ll admit even I found this year’s ceremony odd. Instead of focusing on what wasn’t so hot, I’ll recommend a few moments you don’t want to miss:

Emerald Fennell giving a shout-out to Saved by the Bell

Daniel Kaluuya acknowledging his parents’ sex life during his acceptance speech (??)

Yuh-Jung Yoon flirting with Brad Pitt and acknowledging she’s just “luckier” than her fellow nominees

Glenn Close dancing to…”Da Butt”?

You can also read about the historic wins and nominations from this year’s Oscar class and why the Golden Globes were an even stranger production weeks earlier.

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Trailer-palooza!

Movies are on their way back, y’all! I’m counting down the days until I can get back to a theatre, and even if some of these movies are duds, I’m planning to see all of them on a big screen if possible:

Those Who Wish Me Dead (May 14)

Cruella (May 28)

In the Heights (June 11)

Space Jam 2 (July 16)

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (September 3)

West Side Story (December 10)

Also in March + April…

To add to the Oscars love, you can listen to a conversation about what we learn about family, community, and society in some of the year’s biggest nominees on the Uncommon Voices podcast. I join regular hosts Michael and Kenneth in this episode, and I recommend all of their thoughtful discussions on their “What’s Streaming” episodes.

I’ve previously recommended the Do You Like Apples weekly newsletter, so I’m proud to share I contributed twice in March! I wrote about Love and Basketball, directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and one of my all-time favorite Julia Roberts rom-coms, Notting Hill. (I also tied to win their Oscars pool, but I suppose that’s less exciting for you than me.)

It was a busy couple of months on SO IT’S A SHOW! New logo, new email list, new Instagram, and a host of new episodes about a flop of a Madonna flick, a Swedish children’s TV show, an urban legend turned into a horror movie, one of the best films about journalism ever, and a Martin Scorsese movie about a real boxer.

Most of what I wrote for ZekeFilm in March and April was mentioned in Best of 2020 recommendations…except for The Nest, a film that couldn’t figure out what genre it wanted to be.

Photo credits: Nick Jonas, Royal Family. All others IMDb.com.

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houseforarmys · 4 years ago

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hi! i'm not that great with fics and au ideas but the moodboard makes me think of florist taehyung that works at a flower store and jungkook being a nature photographer and maybe someday he walks past by tae's flowershop and he gets inspired by his flowers for new photos and the moment he sees tae he gets lost, possibly finding nature in tae's eyes itself! i apologize in advance if this is weirdly worded or it makes no sense :(( i really love your fics!

what do you mean not good!! that was super cute and the way you worded it was gorgeous! thank you sooo much for your idea, i hope i do it justice!🥺 and thank you so much for supporting my fics too!💜

-pairing: taekook

-genre: fluff

jeongguk was far from home. just with his car and a few bags of clothes he left busan, the ocean view and the mountains behind his house. daegu wasn't ugly at all, just unknown beauty and so, his pictures didn't do justice to the things he saw yet. the softer view of the pictures he took of busan always reminded him or home, comfort. and that was why daegu's nature was new. because he didn't know what it made him feel and just because of that, the pictures didn't do justice to what it'll cause eventually.

however, that one day of october, walking down the street, the smell of fresh flowers, with one or two butterflies, perhaps what could be a humming bird or a bee in a blue flower, caught his attention. maybe it was the smell, or it could have been the life around it from the stray cat lying on the sun in front of the sunflowers, or the mentioned butterflies. whatever it was, jeongguk found it important in his daegu album.

he kneeled down rather far from the flowers and zooming, he found the perfect picture of the butterfly, landing on the flower and drinking from it. while it still needed some editing, jeongguk already found himself smiling to it. nonetheless, there was an emptiness in the picture. it missed what the busan album didn't, the feeling it gave him.

"morning," a sweet voice said. jeongguk looked up to see a man with an apron and a beret. "like them?"

"yeah, they are really pretty," he said. "sorry, i just... i'm a photographer. i wanted to capture that,"

"oh no, please. it's fine by me. i'm glad the butterflies inspired you, or my flowers," the man said and jeongguk lift himself from his pose before bowing.

"i think it may not be the last time i come around here. i'm jeongguk,"

"hey. taehyung," the man, taehyung, bowed back with a careful smile. "i should go back to work, but you're welcomed here at any time,"

jeongguk smiled to himself, waving his hand goodbye as the florist stepped inside the shop again. he thought of the flowers, and mostly, of how the guy's eyes sparkled the same way waterfalls did. he started walking his way back to his hotel room while thinking how warm taehyung's stare was, maybe even able to make plants grow if it were for him.

just like promised, jeongguk was back at thr flower shop the day after, early in the morning.

taehyung arrived in a small sized van, one that fit the colors of the flower shop. the florist smiled as he came out of the vehicle, welcoming him as he opened the trunk with new flower cargo.

jeongguk was quick to lower his camera gear and to help him pick up the heavy wooden pallets. taehyung only thanked him with a smile and a whisper and jeongguk felt more than thanked.

"you open so late?" jeongguk said, lowering the roses on the floor.

"i usually finish deliveries during mornings. had to go to the cementery and a residence too just to deliver some flowers voluntarily," taehyung said and it drew a smile on jeongguk's lips.

"i'm glad there's still people like you alive,"

taehyung smiled at the words and just shrugged them off, as if doing that was nothing but common sense. jeongguk then insisted on going to pick the last pallets of flowers frlm the trunk and let him rest for few minutes.

"well, those are all, need help with anything else?" jeongguk asked, taehyung shook his head.

"no, thank you," they smiled.

jeongguk stayed in the store anyways, seeing how gently taehyung treated the flowers and every customer, even gifting one or two flowers just for making someone's day happier.

the photographer managed to take a picture of the flowers, one of the stray cat that kept napping under the sun. however, the picture he liked most was one he caught by mistake of taehyung picking up a lilac flower. it was just his fingers wrapping softly around the petals but it said more than he had known from him already.

he was expecting the flower to go to a customer, but taehyung just smiled and put it behind the photographer's ear. jeongguk smiled.

(later, months later when jeongguk got the courage to ask taehyung out and to finally kiss him, taehyung found it the albums that jeongguk had been talking for weeks about.

busan's was full of water, mostly blue and yet always finding it comforting. jeongguk described it as home, as safety and trust.

daegu's, however, was different. pictures that made jeongguk think of fear, insecurities and also magic filled the pages. and lastly, taehyung blushed as he laughed when the last picture was just one cropped of his eyes under the name of love)

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xiaomoxu · 4 years ago

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MLQC CN Lucien (Xu Mo) Long Day Date Part 3 & 4

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

It's Xu Mo Birthday which has released on CN server. I'm doing translation for personal reason, so I'm sorry if there's some mistranslation. Kindly tell me if you found some :) feel free for read it~ ^^

Read Part 1 & 2 here

PART 3

I poured the white tea-scented batter into the mold Xu Mo handed over, and couldn't help sighing.

MC: So you knew it from the beginning, including the gifts I prepared...

Xu Mo: Knowing what you want me to do is not the same as seeing you doing these things for me.

MC: But this is not a surprise!

Xu Mo: Is it important to you to surprise me? Then I can be more surprised next time.

Xu Mo smiled, unscrewed the faucet, reached out to test the temperature, and rinsed my battered hand under the warm water.

I watched the water flow down, and he wrapped my palms, tacitly obeyed.

MC: Forget it, I just want you to be a little more happy on your birthday, and I don't really have to surprise you.

Xu Mo: Your presence is the biggest surprise to me.

His lowered voice fell on my ears, and the heat spread to my heart. I couldn't help giving him a chin on the top of my head to cover up the fluctuations in my heart.

Xu Mo closed the water, pulled the plain cotton cloth on one side, and drew it dry.

My heart is beating between fingers and fingers. Xu Mo was very calm, his palms were dry and warm.

Xu Mo: Having been busy for so long, wanna take a break now?

MC: It's okay, I'm not very tired.

Xu Mo's voice seemed to have a magical power, and people couldn't help but relax after hearing it. Although I said that I was not tired, I yawned naturally.

Xu Mo: Take a break.

When I came to the living room, the autumn sunshine outside the window filled the room, and it seemed warm. I looked at the soft sofa, really tired.

Xu Mo : Are you going to bed?

MC: No, no need! I'll just lie down here.

Xu Mo: Alright then, I'll get a blanket.

I quickly found a place to lie down on the sofa, and there was a text book and Xu Mo's coffee on the coffee table.

I picked up a book at random, and when I opened it, it was full of some difficult proper nouns, which completely exceeded my vocabulary, which made me feel sleepy.

Xu Mo: Are you interested in quantum mechanics?

MC: What?

I raised my neck and looked at Xu Mo who was walking over with the blanket in hand. His smile was very reserved, and I suddenly had the urge to not admit defeat.

MC: Hmm! But the words in this book are too small. It makes my eyes dizzy.

Xu Mo: Then, I read it for you?

Xu Mo sat beside me, covering me with the blanket.

The heat on his body attracted me inexplicably, and when he approached, I could smell the white tea scent left by the cake.

Xu Mo: Lie down, you will sleep better.

Xu Mo pointed to his leg. I hesitated for three seconds, still unable to hold back my greedy heart, blushing and lying down curled up.

MC: It's... really warm.

I raised my head and looked at the superior line of Xu Mo's jaw. He lowered his head and smiled at me, picking up his glasses and the original book on one side

Xu Mo: Then I started?

MC: Ah? Ah! Okay.

Xu Mo began to read the difficult original book. His voice is elegant and gentle, and every turn is like a sprout that has just broken through the soil, touching my heart softly.

I can't understand most of the words in his mouth, but the soft voice is like a flowing waltz. Just listening to it makes me happy.

Before I knew it, I slowly closed my eyes, and gradually stepped into the dark and sweet...

MC: Ah.. what time is it?

When I opened my eyes again, there was a faint warmth in front of my eyes, and a light smile sounded in my ears.

Xu Mo: Woke up?

The darkness in front of me exposed layers of crevices, and bright sunlight came in. I sat up slowly and saw Xu Mo sitting beside me smiling at me.

Xu Mo: I thought... you could sleep a little longer.

He took off his glasses in one hand and still held the original book of quantum mechanics in the other.

I rubbed my eyes, still a little sleepy. The sunlight came over from behind him, and for a while, I was almost uncertain whether I was still in a dream.

His shirt looked a little messy for some reason, and a few buttons were loosened, revealing the usual hidden lines.

My eyes circled back and forth, still a little startled, swallowing water involuntarily.

Xu Mo looked down at my sight and smiled slightly.

Xu Mo: You untied this.

MC: What?!

Xu Mo: You don't seem to be very honest when you fall asleep.

MC: What

I finally woke up, and this time I was so sober, I almost jumped off the sofa.

Xu Mo: What's wrong, don't you want to be responsible?

The smile on Xu Mo's lips grew thicker. I stared at him with widened eyes for a long time, and finally felt wrong with the sense of smell that I had cultivated through the past two years with him.

MC: You are teasing me again

I grabbed the pillow at hand and threw it over, Xu Mo caught it with a smile, and sighed regretfully.

Xu Mo: I thought you were a very responsible person.

MC: What kind of sense of responsibility is this? Childish! Cunning!

I held the pillow and launched a series of attacks, Xu Mo just parried, and did not fight back.

When I was tired, I realized that our distance had become much closer at some point

Xu Mo: Do you want to be responsible to me in this way?

He gently pulled my arm and I almost reached his chest.

I could clearly hear his steady heartbeat, and there was still the faint white tea aroma under his nose.

MC: Ah! My cake!

Xu Mo: It has been taken out and is cooling.

Xu Mo calmly supported me who almost jumped up. I looked in the direction of the kitchen, and only then did I see the closed oven.

MC: what time is it now?

Xu Mo: It's noon. I ordered food for delivery, should we have lunch first?

MC: I touched my stomach and quickly agreed.

The lunch Xu Mo ordered was Chinese food, which tasted very authentic. I asked him where the takeaway order was, but he said there was no takeaway order.

MC: How do you know the phone number?

Xu Mo: ....I remember that.

Looking at Xu Mo's plain expression, I marveled at his genius memory, and once again felt subtle.

After eating, I went back to the sofa and wanted to help him organize his books

I picked up the original book on the coffee table and went to the bookshelf in the corner.

Looking at the books in hand, I suddenly found that the title pages of these books are signed by a small pen: L.X.

MC: Strange... how does it resemble Xu Mo's English name?

When I came to the bookshelf, I couldn't help but admire again, and ran my fingers across the neatly arranged spine of the book.

The bookshelves in this hotel are amazing, they are more like the residents' personal collection, rather than the popular books that other hotels will put.

I looked at the rows of unreadable English letters, and quickly noticed a brown book on the top.

MC: What is this? No name?

I climbed the small ladder to retrieve the book and took down the book without a title. The cover is made of antique leather, and when you open it, you can even see the floating dust.

Xu Mo: What are you doing?

MC: Woah!

Xu Mo's voice suddenly rang from behind me, I turned around abruptly, shaking my hand, and the brown book fell to the ground.

Xu Mo: Be careful!

I fell back from the ladder and was in a warm and firm embrace. And the man was frowning, looking at me intently and nervously.

Xu Mo: Did I scare you?

MC: No! I am always in a panic. Ah, I just dropped a notebook, let's see if there is anything wrong.

Xu Mo: It's you who should confirm that there is nothing wrong.

MC: I'm fine! When setting up the shooting scene, I often climb up and down like this, hahahaha

Xu Mo's eyes remained on me, faintly showing the inexplicable gloominess gradually turned into helplessness. I dare not look deeply and pick up the notebook that has fallen on the ground.

MC: This is...

When I saw what was falling out of the notebook, I was stunned for a while.

MC: Xu Mo..

Xu Mo gave a hum, then suddenly thought of something, and smiled softly.

Xu Mo: Did you still find out

I held the yellowed photo with two fingers, turned my head, and looked at the man in front of me.

MC: Why are there photos of you when you were a kid here?

PART 4

MC: Hahahahahaha! You were so cute when you were young!

Xu Mo: Is it cute? I don't seem to be described that way.

I don’t know how long it took, and Xu Mo and I were still looking through this old photo album on the sofa. I pressed against his warm body, and gradually forgot the time.

After uncovering this treasure, I almost opened the door to a new world about Xu Mo, and I had many questions about every photo.

Xu Mo patiently answered me one by one. For some reason, he always seemed to have a self-sustaining calmness about his past, not excited, nor missed.

MC: So why didn't you tell me this in the beginning this your apartment?

Xu Mo: It's just a residence, it's not very different from a hotel.

MC: How come?! You have been living here when you were studying in the UK, this is your home, right?

Xu Mo's face seemed to be slightly moved, but he quickly returned to his calm and faint smile.

Xu Mo: From the perspective of property ownership, it can be understood this way.

After learning that this is the place where Xu Mo once lived, all the subtle feelings this apartment gave me can be explained.

The X on the doorplate is too homey and familiar, the white rice and tea in the kitchen, and the special bookshelf and the signature on the book...

I didn't expect this person to be so cunning that he would bring me to his home again without knowing it.

MC: Wow, how old were you? There is cake cream on your face, not that you don’t eat sweets is it?

Xu Mo: It was when I was 6 years old. I didn't eat that time either.

MC: Eh?

Turning back a few pages, I gradually discovered that all Xu Mo's photos seemed to be 7 years old.

Thinking of the scenes I saw in my dream before, I couldn't help but squeeze.

I looked up at Xu Mo beside me. In the setting sun, his eyebrows were covered with a faint blood red, and I couldn't help but clenched his hand

MC: Xu Mo...

Xu Mo: What happened?

MC: Nothing, just, suddenly.....

Perhaps it was my palm that conveyed some uneasy emotions. Xu Mo looked at me and quickly showed a soothing smile, touching the back of my hand.

Xu Mo: it's already over. Now, I am by your side.

MC: ..... I am a little unhappy because there is no me in your past!

MC: In the future, we should read our memories book on this day.

Xu Mo stared at me for a long time. After a long silence, his eyebrows finally opened with a long-lost relaxed smile.

Xu Mo: Well, it's like the memories book you prepared for me last year.

MC: We will have many memories books.

I shook my head vigorously, trying to get rid of the anxiety and worries that had just surged in my heart. A light from outside the window came in. I was shocked by the passing of time.

MC: Ah! It's already this time, the cake is not finished yet!

Xu Mo: Don't worry, there is still a while before dinner is ordered.

I hurriedly stood up and looked at Xu Mo's appearance in his spare time. He always seems to anticipate all my flaws and make all arrangements.

I looked at his eyebrows and pulled his hand.

MC: Let's do it together!

Xu Mo's face was slightly blank, and he quickly recovered.

Xu Mo: I haven't done it. Wouldn't it matter if you accidentally spoil your gift?

MC: But you are the most important part of the gift! Doing this with you will make it more meaningful!

Xu Mo stared at me in depth and light for a few rounds. It seemed more mysterious in the twilight, but it made me feel at ease.

He nodded slightly and said yes.

Xu Mo: Then you should teach me carefully

I cheered and pulled him to the counter to take out the cake then start to make the cream.

Xu Mo watched me cut through the cake base skillfully, pour the cream and fruit layer by layer, and his face seemed to be in a trance.

MC: Come, put cream in.

I handed him the decorating tool unceremoniously, and he was shocked for a few seconds, and began to use a rigorous method of experimentation.

I looked at him cautiously and couldn't help but laughed.

Xu Mo: ....Is the way I am now, funny?

MC: No! Wait a minute!

Before Xu Mo could react, I rushed to the suitcase and fetched a Polaroid. I took a photo of Xu Mo holding the cream bag from a distance.

Xu Mo's face was caught off guard, and he laughed again soon.

Xu Mo: Are you going to leave me here alone, teacher?

MC: Don't panic, I am coming!

I put the Polaroid on the edge of the table and began to teach Xu Mo how to squeeze the cream into various decorative shapes.

MC: It’s not that difficult, you see, it’s like drawing...

As expected to be a genius who mastered a scalpel, Xu Mo quickly learned the trick and squeezed a gardenia shape on the cake.

MC: Wow, that's amazing! I have been studying for so long, but I still can't do this level.

Xu Mo: It's more interesting than imagined.

With the help of Xu Mo, the cake gradually took shape. Every line is beautiful and smooth.

After finishing decorating, there is some cream left in the bag. Xu Mo's gaze swept around and suddenly fell on my finger.

Xu Mo: Let me do another exercise.

MC: What?

I haven't reacted yet, Xu Mo has already pulled my left hand and skillfully squeezed a snow-white gardenia on my ring finger.

Xu Mo: Do you like it?

I looked at the delicate white flowers like sculptures on my fingers, and couldn't help but blush.

MC: .... this is a waste.

Xu Mo: It won't be wasted.

My heart jumped, only to see Xu Mo lowered his head and leaned close to my finger, the back of the finger was warm and warm, and that white gardenia had been accepted by him.

MC: Xu Mo! What....

Xu Mo: Well, it seems to be sweeter than the one on the cake.

Xu Mo's long and narrow eyes showed a bright light, and my heart was beating like a drum. It took a long time to react and hurriedly withdrew my hand.

MC: No, don't challenge the teacher thinking that you have learned it! Now you have to learn to write!

I hurriedly took out the jam and the one-size French flower, but because I was too panic, I couldn't find a suitable filter.

Xu Mo's hand stretched out from behind, and accurately inserted the metal filter into the cut piping bag

Xu Mo: can we start?

MC: ....Okay, thank you.

His arms are warm and strong, and the mood that has just been disrupted finally stabilizes a little bit. I installed the jam and cleared my throat.

MC: The next sentence I wrote is a demonstration for you.

While I was talking, I moved my wrist and wrote this line solemnly in front of his eyes.

Happy Birthday to Mr. X

MC: Did you see it clearly?

Xu Mo: Yes, clearly.

The voice seemed to stop for a while before it sounded deep, and when it fell to my ears, it shocked my heart with countless gentle ripples.

It seems that this day's rush, or everything that has been done for this person in the past, hundreds of days and nights of company, have a place to stay.

The dusk outside the window gradually deepened, and the street lights on the street came on. The warm lights in the house surround us, and the sweet creamy aroma persists.

Xu Mo: Thank you.

MC: .... It's your turn.

Xu Mo took the piping bag in my hand, and suddenly wrapped my waist with his other hand, pulling me over.

His magnified face caught in my eyes, my chest was full, but I couldn't bear to look away.

MC: Write well..

Xu Mo: Okay, I'm writing.

His other hand walked skillfully on the cake behind me, but his eyes were tightly locked on my face, gentle and relaxed, with ease.

MC: What are you writing?

I wanted to look back, but he was firmly clamped on. His approaching face made me unable to escape, I could only hit his forehead and listen to him whispering.

Xu Mo: It doesn't matter what I wrote. More importantly, thank you that you're here with me.

I also remembered that when I met Xu Mo at the airport, he was confident that there was always a certainty in his eyes that I couldn't see through.

MC: So what is your third basis?

Xu Mo paused, smiling slowly.

Xu Mo: it's you.

MC: What do you mean?

Xu Mo: Because it is you, I know you will come.

I blinked, a little unconvinced.

MC: Anyway, Professor Xu has always known everything.

Xu Mo chuckled lightly, his warm lips pressed against me, his breath with the aftertaste of buttery gardenia.

Before closing my eyes, I had already peeked from the corner of the light that he had written on the chocolate card.

Maybe I have long been used to letting go of everything in front of this omniscient person.

Just like everything he put down to me

Xu Mo: starting today, here is...

The second half of his sentence was hidden between his lips, and it became the eternal secret of this day.

And the small letters on the row of chocolate cards still appeared in front of my eyes.

1115 with you, at home.

-END-

Thank you for reading ><

#mlqc translation #mlcq cn #mlqc lucien #mlqc xu mo #lucien birthday #xu mo birthday #mrlove Lucien #mr love translation #mr love lucien

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calpalirwin · 4 years ago

Text

Heart Wins

Summary: Single dad Michael hires a babysitter for his son.

A/N: Not the collab! Ha! Could you imagine?

Word Count: 2.4k

And away, and away we go!

“So, I would just need someone to watch him during the day so I can get some studio time in,” Michael told Maya. “I mean, he’s pretty lowkey. Likes to swim in the pool, watch cartoons, basic little kid stuff. I’ll try to keep my schedule as regular as possible, but there might be times I’ll ask you if you can stay later or even help me out on weekends if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” Maya smiled. “And the studio is where?”

“Here, mostly. We try to do what we can at our own places before paying out the ass for ‘professional’ studio time. And since I have Tidus, we usually work here. I just can’t be focused on working with them and watching Tidus at the same time. I mean, it’s not glorious or anything on your end. But, like I said, the kid’s pretty lowkey. And you’ll have the run of the place, so feel free to do whatever. But yeah… any, uh, questions?”

“Um, no I don’t- oh! What happens when you go off on tour?”

“I double your pay?” Michael laughed. “Honestly, I’m not too sure. I’m not set to leave anywhere for about another four months, so if you haven’t run for the hills for something better we can discuss it more then?”

Maya nodded, looking around the house wondering why on Earth she would ever want to give up a sweet ass job like this. “Works for me.”

“Alright,” Michael said, clapping his hands against his thighs and standing up. “I guess I’ll just show you where Tidus is, and leave you guys to it.”

She followed him through the house, up the stairs to a bedroom that had been converted into a playroom. A little boy of no more than 3 or 4 sat in the middle of a comfortable looking couch, his attention held by the cartoon playing on the large television. “Ti,” Michael got the boy’s attention. “This is Maya. She’s gonna watch you for a bit. Can you say hi?”

“Hi,”

“Hey, bud. Whatcha watchin’?” she asked, moving around to sit beside him.

“Pokemon!”

“Oh, cool! I love Pokemon. Who’s your favorite?”

“Pikachu.”

Michael smiled. “Alright, Ti. Maya’s the boss.”

“‘Kay.”

“I’ll be in the basement if you need me for anything,” Michael directed the statement at Maya. “Other than that, make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Michael.”

~~~

“Maya,” a small voice whispered. “Psst… Maya!”

“Mmm? Wha?” Maya asked, yawning and opening her eyes to find a pair of light green eyes peering back at her under a cloud of soft yellow hair. “AAAHHHH!” She retreated to where her bed met the wall. “Tidus, are you tryin’ to kill me?!”

The six year old laughed. “Sorry… Dad said I wasn’t supposed to wake you…”

“But why would you do a silly thing like listen to your dad?” she questioned with her own laugh.

“Exactly! He’s not the boss of me. You are!”

“Nice save, kid.” She threw back the covers and sat up. “You want pancakes don’t ya?”

“Yes, please!”

“Alright. Your dad in the studio with your uncles?”

“They were there all night!” Tidus told her dramatically as they walked downstairs to the kitchen.

She frowned as she tried to remember what time her phone had said when she finally heard Michael’s footsteps on the stairs and the close of his door. Close to 2 am she was sure. And he’d probably only slept for a few hours before heading back down. He probably hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning, too close to a break through with the newest album to focus on much else. “Do you think they’re hungry?” she asked the boy.

“We’re gonna have to make the whole box,” Tidus giggled.

“Then let’s make the whole box.”

“Can we make a bunch of different kinds?!”

“Of course we can!”

“Whoohoo!”

A half hour and at least six different types of pancakes later, Maya and Tidus made their way to the basement studio. Tidus carefully carried the stack of plates while Maya held the platter of assorted pancakes, a bottle of syrup tucked under her arm. “Knock knock!” they yelled loudly. “Special delivery!” Maya kept up with it as she let them into the room.

The four adult men turned their heads at the intrusion. “That’s a lot of pancakes,” Michael spoke first, stepping forward to help Tidus with the plates before he dropped them.

“Yeah, we went a little overboard,” Maya responded, setting down the platter on the little table in the room. “Figured you guys must be starving.”

“You figured right. Thanks.”

“Oh, I just made the food. Was Ti’s idea.”

“Ti…” Michael said sternly to his son. “I told you to let her sleep.”

“But you said Maya was the boss. You never said I had to listen to you, too.”

Ashton, Calum, Luke, and Maya snickered into their hands as Michael’s green eyes went wide for a second. “What are you? An elephant?”

Tidus put his arm against his nose like a trunk and made his best elephant noise.

“Well in the future, Elephant Boy, you should listen to me, too. I am your dad after all.”

“10-4, boss man!” the boy chirped.

“What in th-?” Michael chuckled, looking over at Maya.

“No idea, boss man,” Maya laughed back. “Well…” she gestured at all the food. “Dig in!”

~~~

“So,” Calum asked, wiping away the last traces of sticky syrup after Maya and Tidus made their way back upstairs. “How long has Maya been watching Ti?”

“Uh…” Michael thought quickly. “‘Bout two years.”

“Mhm… And how long has she lived here?”

“She moved in right after the first tour, so a little over a year.”

“And she’s good with Ti?”

“Oh, she’s great with him. I’d be lost without her.”

“So, you’ve known her for two years. She’s lived with you for one. And she’s great with your kid,” Calum recapped.

“Yeah… That’s what I just said.”

“What Cal’s trying to say,” Ashton cut in, “is have you slept with her yet? And if not, can he?”

“What the fuck?!” Michael screeched at the same time Calum shoved Ashton with a “That is not my question!”

“Is too! Maybe not the sleeping with her yourself part. But the first part’s true. We’re all wondering, mate,” Luke piped up.

“What the fuck?!” Michael repeated, looking at his friends, slack jawed. “What kinda question is that? No, I haven’t slept with her!”

“Why not?”

“She’s Ti’s babysitter!”

“So?”

“So I’m basically her boss, you nitwits! I’m not fuckin’ the babysitter,” he growled.

“Alright, alright,” the other three held up their hands in surrender.

“And neither are any of you lot!” Michael added.

~~~

“Hey, Maya?” Tidus asked as they watched cartoons.

“Yeah, bud?”

“My dad goes on dates, right? To find me a mom?”

She blinked. She had been expecting him to ask if they could go swimming,or play with Legos, not have the Mom conversation. “Uh… well… yeah, your dad goes on dates. But he’s not trying to replace your mom.”

“No, I know that. But like, he’s trying to find someone that would love us like a mom would. Right?”

“Right. He just wants someone who’s gonna love you as much as he does.”

“So, why doesn’t he take you out on a date?”

Maya choked. “Uh… it’s not that simple, bud.”

“Well, why not? I mean, you’re here. And you don’t get mad at me when I wake you up to make pancakes. And you take me swimming, and watch cartoons with me. And you help in my classroom like all the other moms. Is it cuz you don’t love me?”

“What?! Of course I love you, you goof!”

“So, why can’t you date Dad and be my mom?”

Maya sighed. “It’s not that simple, Ti. Your dad and I have a different relationship.”

“Oh… Will you still stay if I do get a mom?”

“Of course I’ll stay!” she told him, even though she really had no way of knowing. She supposed it would depend on what the new woman did for a living herself, and how comfortable she would be with Maya staying in the house.

“Cool. Cuz me and Dad really like you here.”

“Dad and I,” she corrected absentmindedly.

“Dad and I,” he repeated. “Do you like being with us?”

“No place I’d rather be,” she grinned at him.

~~~

Michael’s head swam with his conversation with his bandmates. Yes, him and Maya got along with each other. Yes, Michael had come to view the woman as not only an integral part of his life, but also as part of the family. Maya had been there for every moment him and Tidus had over the last two years. And she was pretty in a way that often left him breathless, whether she was in a tank top and pajama bottoms with her hair slightly ruffled from sleep, or totally dolled up in a way befitting of magazine covers. But this wasn’t some friendship that could handle a little awkwardness. There were so many ways things could go with too many options for how it could end, each one worse than the last. And to risk it all over a maybe crush? No. It was far better to keep his mouth shut.

Unbeknownst for Michael, Maya’s own head had been swimming with her own equally conflicted thoughts that matched his own. “Hey, Michael,” her soft voice greeted him in the dark hallway.

“Shit!” he whisper-screamed, hand flying to his chest. “Fuck… didn’t see you there.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare ya…”

“Nah, it’s…” he shook his head. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” it was her turn to shake her head. “Was just about to turn in.”

“Oh… well, night then.”

“Night,” she murmured, feeling his body brush past hers. “Hey, Michael?”

“Yeah?”

“Um… can we talk a moment? Ti said something earlier that you should probably be aware of.”

“Yeah, course. C’mon, we can talk in here.” He led them both into his bedroom, flicking on the light. “Is everything alright?” he asked as he sat on the edge of his bed, patting the space next to him.

“Oh, it’s not bad! Just… curious,” she told him as she sat beside him.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he mentioned you dating.”

“Aw, shit… I guess I didn’t explain that to him as well as I thought I did…”

“No, no,” Maya shook her head. “He understands. Well, as much as any six year old can anyway. It’s, uh… well he brought up something that I just can’t seem to shake.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah… um… and I’m not asking to put you on the spot or anything. It’s just…”

“Curious?” he supplied.

“Yeah. Um… what happens when one of these women becomes your long-term girlfriend or wife? Like… what would that mean for me?”

Michael leaned back on his arms. “Shit… Tidus came up with that?”

“Well, he asked if I would stay. I sort of filled in the rest.”

Michael nodded. Then, “What would you do? If it weren’t for this, what would you be doing?”

She shrugged. “Probably teach. I don’t think I’d have it in me to get invested in another family like I am with you guys.”

He nodded again. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t want to see you go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He smiled before laughing. “Aw shit. That explains a lot actually.” He kept laughing.

“I’m sorry?” she asked, not getting the joke.

“I’m the single dad with a live-in babysitter. No wonder all my dates end horribly.”

“Oh geez!” she laughed with him. “Sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. That’s just…”

“Utterly ridiculous?”

“That’s terrible. Like this is my job. Sorry it’s ruining your dates.”

“Nah, it’s not your fault. Guess some people are just immature. Like I couldn’t possibly resist the temptation of having a beautiful woman in my home.”

“Beautiful woman?” she blinked, turning her head to look at Michael with his flushed cheeks.

“I- I didn’t mean it like that,” he rushed. “I mean, you are. Beautiful. But I- no. I should stop talking now.”

“No. What were you gonna say?”

“Well… I mean I pay you to be here. It’s not like you’re here because you want to be. I mean, maybe you do now. I hope anyway. But, like you’re here because you’re doing a job. If I wasn’t paying you I doubt you’d stay.”

“Well I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t pay me because I already feel bad enough you let me live here rent free. Not because I don’t want to be here.”

“Well, I appreciate the sentiment. But, this is all hypothetical. I need to find a girl who won’t run away once she realizes what my life really entails first.”

Maya brought a finger to her lips in thought. “Hmm… yeah, good luck with that one.”

Michael laughed. “Yeah. So if you have any friends who are understanding like you, lemme know.”

She laughed with him. “Sorry. Just me, I’m afraid.”

“Bummer…”

“Ouch!” She swatted his arm playfully. “You’d be lucky to have me.”

“I am lucky to have you,” he corrected. “But… we…” he pointed back and forth between them. “It’d be stupid.”

“Terribly stupid,” she sighed in agreement. “Or at least that’s what I told Tidus when he asked. Well, I said it wasn’t simple. But same thing.”

Michael choked. “He asked you what?”

“He asked why you didn’t take me out. Since how you’re trying to find a woman that loves him as much as you do.”

“Shit… how’d that kid get so smart?”

“No idea,” she joked. “Must be his babysitter.”

“Can’t be me, that’s for damn sure. If I was smart, I’d know what to do right now.”

“What's your brain saying?”

“To shut up, go to bed, and to keep trying to make it work with other women the way it already works with you so I don’t fuck up a good thing.”

“And your heart?”

“To take the risk anyway because at least then maybe I’ll have a clear answer.”

“And which are you gonna listen to?”

“No idea.”

“That makes two of us.” Maya patted his leg as she stood up. “G’night, Michael.”

“Wait,” he said, his fingers wrapping around her wrist. “Two of us? You feel this way too?”

“Course I do. But that doesn’t matter. Does it?”

“Fuck it,” he muttered to himself, tugging on her wrist so she fell down on his lap. “Heart wins.” His fingers stroked gently up her cheeks as he cradled her face in his hands, his lips brushing against hers.

She sighed into the kiss, tangling her own fingers in his soft hair, changing positions so she was straddling his lap. “Heart wins,” she agreed against his lips, as she started to pull away. “We can figure out the rest later.”

“Agreed,” he nodded frantically, green eyes shining brightly. “Fuck, c’mere.”

Tag List

@frontmanash @goeatsomelife @flameraine @creator-appreciator @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @sparkling-calm @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession @gosh-im-short @aquarius-hood1996 @talkfastromance4 @itjustkindahappenedreally @philthepegacorn @boomerash @teenwolfss24 @karajaynetoday @myfavfanficsever @stormrider505 @cashtonisruiningmylife @another-lonely-heart

#heart wins #michael clifford #michael clifford fic #single dad!michael #babysitter!oc #5sos #galcal irwin

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bobdylanrevisited · 3 years ago

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Love And Theft

Released: 11 September 2001

Rating: 10/10

If there’s one thing Bob Dylan knows, it’s how to follow up a masterpiece with an even better album. This is a phenomenal record, it combines all the things Bob does best: poetic lyrics, a range of musical genres, a growling voice, and an incredibly interesting atmosphere that lingers over the whole album. I adore this record, it deserves to be spoken of as highly as ‘Highway 61 Revisited’ or ‘Blood On The Tracks’, and again proves that Bob was as prolific and trailblazing in his 60s as he was in the 1960s. (As per my last post, I will not address the ‘plagiarism’ claims here, as I feel they are baseless and reductive)

1. Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee - This is a great introduction to Bob’s new sound, a mix of country, rockabilly, and nostalgia. Bob’s really come into his ‘old man voice’ and the band are completely in sync. The lyrics themselves are a bit forgettable, but this fast paced opener is just effortlessly performed.

2. Mississippi - Originally an outtake from ‘Time Out Of Mind’, this is a stunningly beautiful song. The melancholy seeps out out every word and note, with Bob again acting through his voice and delivery, to portray a defeated man reminiscing and analysing his life. The music itself is surprisingly uplifting and almost at odds with the subject of the song, but it completely works. This is one of many perfect tracks on the album, and Bob’s songwriting is still untouchable.

3. Summer Days - If you had to guess, you’d say this song is from the 1950s, not 2001. A brilliant throwback, with some fantastic guitar and a great performance by Bob channelling an old blues legend. It may not be the most memorable song on the album, but it’s never a chore to hear.

4. Bye And Bye - A much more relaxed song, with a lovely musical arrangement. The lyrics are filled with happiness, and there is a great bridge that adds an interesting edge to the track. Bob’s wistful singing fits nicely, and this is just an enjoyably cheerful song.

5. Lonesome Day Blues - Perhaps an antithesis to the previous track, this is a rugged and harsh song, from the guitar licks to Bob’s gruff delivery. The song is your classic blues affair, lyrics of being rejected and mourning, but the whole song still sounds fresh and Bob always has an interesting take on the classics.

6. Floater (Too Much To Ask) - Yet another perfect track, and everything here works flawlessly. The lyrics are poetic and tell a brilliant story, but the main focus here should be on the band. The whole arrangement fills me with joy, it sounds like they’ve been playing together for centuries, and every note and instrument compliments one another and the atmosphere of the track. I could go on, but just know that this is a genius composition and all involved are at the top of their game.

7. High Water (For Charley Patton) - Not only is this the highlight of the album, it’s one of the highlights of Bob’s entire career. His way with words, creating a mood and describing an America rooted in history and mythology, are completely unmatched in both music and literature. I cannot express how perfect this track is, from the opening ‘cowboy’ sounding guitar and banjo, to Bob’s moody and haunting delivery, this is a song from both a forgotten era and yet is also somehow ahead of its time. Just listen to it on repeat, it’s fucking unbelievable.

8. Moonlight - Another slower track, with some lovely guitar and bass, and a sweet and tender Bob, almost foreshadowing is crooner turn in the following years. A great love song that is infinitely calming and romantic.

9. Honest With Me - Once again, a slower track is followed by one that sounds like a thunderstorm of guitars rolling down Highway 61. This is another song that sounds like it’s challenging you to a fight. Bob is hard as nails, the lyrics are darker, and the whole arrangement is electrified. Like the rest of the album, it’s fantastic.

10. Po’ Boy - Slowing down again, I adore this song. The lyrics are poignant and also quite funny, and for me this is Bob’s best singing on the whole record. The finger picked guitar adds an interesting layer of intimacy to the song, and all this adds up to one of my most revisited tracks from the album, and some of Bob’s most enjoyable writing from this period.

11. Cry A While - Another throwback, which blends together a few different genres and tempos, creating an incredibly interesting and ever-changing song. The lyrics are, once again, a bit of a downer (not that that’s a bad thing) but the way the band seamlessly switch up their playing is both impressive and a testament to their unrivalled talent.

12. Sugar Baby - The closing track is maybe my least favourite song, which is no bad thing as I still really enjoy it. It returns to the melancholic mood of the earlier part of the album, and is a simple arrangement with Bob growling about the past and regret. It’s still a beautiful track, and perhaps I only regard it a bit lower than the rest of the record as I know it means I’ve reached the end of one of the best albums of the 21st Century.

Verdict: It’s fairly obvious that I completely adore this record and cannot recommend it highly enough. The album may have been somewhat overlooked due to its unfortunate release date, and Bob’s late career is often ignored due to the heights of his earlier work, but this is a perfect record that shows he hadn’t slowed down or lost his touch by any means. This album goes straight into his top 10, and a handful of tracks are among his greatest achievements in songwriting and musical composition. Following this, Bob waited another 5 years before releasing yet another masterpiece, and continuing his incredible critical and artistic resurgence.

#love and theft #bob dylan

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missmalice202 · 5 years ago

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Designing Your Melody: Chapter 04 - Chocolate

Chapter 01 - Chapter 03

“All right, mate?” Luka looks up from his guitar and sees Jagged Stone, rock star extraordinaire, poking his head into the recording studio. “Something’s got your sound all mixed up. So tell me,” he cajoles as he strides into the room, brimming with confidence and larger than life, “what’s got your knickers in a twist, eh?”

Luka stills his fingers and gives his attention the other man now sitting on a stool in front of him. He could literally feel Jagged staring at him, a look of unabashed anticipation on his face. Running his fingers through his teal tipped black hair, he closed his eyes and sighed.

He’d tried not dwell on how utterly frustrated he was. It’s been almost a week since his fateful encounter with his new inspiration, but he’s no closer to finding her. All he has is the mysterious melody playing on an infinite loop in his head and the scrap of paper that he now carries with him everywhere he goes, tucked securely in his jacket pocket. He isn’t sure where to even begin to start looking for the girl. After some serious thought, he contemplated asking Juleka if she would know how to track down a certain fashion designer because if the drawing he had in his possession was any indication, she was obviously very skilled and therefore had to be well known in the fashion industry.

But unfortunately for the guitarist, by the time he had worked up the courage to ask his sister to do some investigating on his behalf, she had been booked for a photoshoot overseas and had left the country. Sometimes he just had the worst luck. Plus, between doing deliveries in the morning and getting some studio time with Jagged to prepare for his next album, he honestly really didn’t have the time to be hunting down a single girl out of the two million residents of Paris. The odds were not in his favor.

In the end, he had resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to wait until Juleka came back and then ask her for help. Until then, the only thing he could do was tweak her melody and keep her design safe. He’s sure their paths will cross again. They had to.

“Nothing has my ‘knickers in a twist’ as you so delicately put it. I’ve just got some stuff on my mind, is all.” His fingers pluck at the strings of his guitar restlessly, the notes contradicting him wordlessly.

“Sorry to tell ya this, bloke, but that guitar of yours is callin’ you a liar. Level with me, man, anything I can do to help a rockin’ musician like yourself out, just let me know. We’ve gotta get that sound of yours back in harmony.”

“Yeah,” Luka responded listlessly, “I know, Jagged. Thanks.”

Luckily, they were interrupted by a knock on the window separating the recording studio from the control booth, signaling that the producer was ready for them to begin their session. The last think Luka wanted was to be interrogated by the flamboyant rocker, regardless of how well meaning he was.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

After their recording session was over, Luka decided to grab something to eat before heading back home to log in and get some grinding done in-game. However, he seemed to have acquired an extremely obnoxious and over-eager shadow.

“I’m telling ya, mate, that’s some of the best playing I’ve heard since I worked with your mum. You could become a superstar if you set your mind to it.” Being ambitious and hungry for attention, someone like Jagged Stone just couldn’t understand that there were some people who preferred to linger in the shadows.

“I’m happy just playing my music, to be honest. I don’t have any grand ambitions of stardom.” A small smile graced Luka’s lips. “I don’t want a record label to try to dictate what I play or how I sound. I don’t mind playing your music because it speaks to my soul, but I want my freedom when it comes to my own music”

Jagged threw his head back and laughed, holding his stomach in mirth. “I feel ya, mate. There’s times I wanna kick some of these record labels prats out on their arses. They have no respect for the artistic process. I can’t just snap my fingers and deliver a chart- topping song. It takes talent and dedication and, most importantly, they gotta feel it in their soul!

“Oh! That reminds me! Penny!” he called over his shoulder at his ever present and long suffering personal assistant, “I want you to send some chocolates or flowers or whatever it is that girls these days like to Marinette. That girl is fabulous and dedicated to her craft and I want her to know how much I appreciate her help.” She nodded, tucking a stray piece of her sleek burgundy hair behind her ear and took out her tablet, tapping a reminder in her notes.

That caught Luka’s undivided attention. The Jagged Stone he knew wasn’t the kind of guy who just gave other people presents. If anything, he expected other people to do things for him, without a seconds hesitation or complaint. For him to go out of his – or rather, his assistant’s – way to offer a gesture of appreciation was, quite frankly, unheard of!

“Who’s this Marinette girl?” he asks. “What did she do for you that was so important that you’d want to send her a gift?”

Jagged reeled back in shock. “Oh, what hasn’t she done for me? Whenever everything goes pear shaped and I’m in a pinch, I know I can count on her to help me out. I mean, one time she made the wicked rock n roll shades for me. Another time, she basically saved my career when she redid my album cover after the bloke who did the first design wouldn’t accept any of my input and came up with this absolutely bonkers cover art. And now this time, she’s really saving my skin. I had to ask a massive favor of her and in such a short amount of time too.” He chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “I just want her to know that I appreciate her style and all that fabulous girl does to help me when I’m in a bind.”

Honestly, Luka was a bit surprised. Jagged usually wasn’t one to sing another’s praises, so this “Marinette” girl must really be something special.

Luka looked at his phone to check the time. “Well, Jagged, I’ve got to run. I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”

“Cheers, mate. I’ll catch you next time.” Jagged saluted the younger guitarist. “Do what you need to in order to fix your sound. It’s doesn’t sound right when it’s all jumbled up like that.”

Luka waved goodbye and left the record label, heading home to his boat.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

When got back to home, the quiet slapping of waves against the hull of the boat was the only sound he heard as he strode across the deck, taking a moment to appreciate the beautiful sunset reflecting over the Seine. It was kind of lonely being the only one on board. He couldn’t wait until his sister got back in a few days. Until then, he’d just have to fill the silence in other ways. Shaking his head at his own melancholy, he ducked into the cabin and made his way to his bunk.

Deciding that he needed to find his center again after such a chaotic week, he toed off his sneakers, settled onto his bunk, crossed his legs and gently rested his wrists on his knees to meditate. Maybe that was why he had been so off lately; he just needed to clear his mind and get rid of the negative energies swirling inside his mind. Taking a deep breath in, he closed his eyes and relaxed into his meditation.

Thirty minutes later, he opened his eyes feeling refreshed and less off balance.

Glancing at his phone again, he figured he had time to get some gaming in before heading to bed. With any luck, Ladybug would be online too. He liked playing with the rest of his clanmates, don’t get him wrong, but Ladybug was just such a badass. Her skill was unparalleled and when they were in the midst of an intense battle, she took command of the situation and always led their team to victory. She fought with grace and made everything she did look effortless. If he were honest with himself, he just enjoyed being in her company. She had such a sweet voice that even when she was barking out orders on the battlefield, she still sounded as clear as a bell.

After logging on, he was pleasantly surprised to discover that luck, for once, was on his side: she was online. That was a relief, especially considering she’d been MIA all week due to being busing working on whatever project she had going. Deep down, he was a little jealous that “real life” was dragging her away from the UMS4, and therefore away from him. But he did have to admit that it was a bit hypocritical of him to be jealous of her being busy when he was bordering on obsession with finding someone who, if he didn’t currently have her design tucked into the pocket of his jacket, he would have thought that the whole encounter had been an extremely vivid figment of his overactive imagination.

Walking up to her avatar, his own waved in greeting. “Hey, Ladybug. Just you and I tonight, huh?”

Her avatar waved in response. “Hi, Viperion. Looks like it. Want to do some grinding and work on equipment upgrades since we don’t have enough people on our team right now to do any major missions?”

He smiled and his avatar gave a thumbs up gesture. “Sounds good. Let’s go”

As they traversed through their online world, she struck up conversation to fill the silence. “So what have you been up to this week? Anything fun and exciting?”

He chuckled softly. “Not exactly. Just working and practicing. How about you? How’s your project coming along?”

Her groan echoed in his ears, making him laugh under his breath. “Oh god, I’ve been working non stop since I last played with you. Five days, working ‘round the clock without even leaving my house. I’m pretty sure my parents were about to send a search party up to my room to check and see if I was still breathing,” she laughed.

“Oh? You still live with your parents?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “We have a very good relationship, so it works out well for us. I help them out with their shop from time to time when I have time and they give me food.”

Luka laughed, shaking his head. Sometimes she really was too cute. “That’s nice. I live with my mom and sister, but they’re out of the country right now, so it’s just me. I never thought I’d think this, but with them gone, it’s too quiet here and the music in my head is a bit overwhelming in the silence.”

There was a brief pause before she responded, “the music in your head?” He could hear the confusion in her voice.

“Yeah, I’ve had this song stuck in my head for almost a week now and I can’t get it out of my head until I find what I’m looking for.”

“Uhh- Okaay, I’m not sure what you mean, but I wish you the best of luck finding what you’re looking for.” He heard her yawn audibly through his headphones. “And on that note, I’ve got to go. I have to get up early to help my parents with their shop since I have some time before the next phase of my project.”

A little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to spend more time with Ladybug, but he understood that she had prior commitments. “All right. Will you be on tomorrow at all? I had fun just messing around with you tonight.”

“I should be able to get on for a few hours tomorrow night. I had fun too,” she admitted. “Well, goodnight, Viperion.”

Smiling softly, he replied, “Sweet dreams, Ladybug.” And logged off himself.

-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-xXx-

Turning her console off, Marinette plugged her controller into the charge cable and turned off her desk light. Stretching her arms over her head as she walked over to the ladder leading to the loft where her bed was located, she giggled as when she realized that she had learned more about Viperion in that one conversation than she had in the months she had been playing with him since he’d joined “Miraculous Kwami”. She enjoyed playing with him. He was just so calm and collected, completely relaxed even in the most stressful situations. There were many occasions where his level head had really helped keep her calm enough to figure out how to defeat an especially tricky boss. Plus, it didn’t hurt in the slightest that his voice was really hot. Idly, while she changed into her pajamas, she wondered if his face matched his voice.

Shaking her head, she thrust that thought right out of her mind. Online was online and reality was reality. It wouldn’t do to confuse the two. For all she knew, he was a 45 year old bald man with a pot belly and a handlebar moustache. Shuddering at the thought, she shook her head again and made the decision to just leave things as they were. There are just some things that are better of not knowing.

Chapter 05

*Not going to lie, I had a lot of fun writing Jagged Stone. I also tried to stuff in as much British slang as I possibly could while still having it sound relatively natural.

Oh, and if you want to understand a little bit what Luka’s music sounds like when he’s confused and stressed out, this is what I listened to when I wrote the first scene of this chapter.

Until next time Lovelies XOXO*

#lukanette #mlvalentines2k20 #lukanette february #lukanette fic #luka couffaine #marinette dupain cheng #miraculous fanfic #fanfiction

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boymeetsweevil · 5 years ago

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Breathe you in

Grouping: Popstar!Reader x Non-Idol!Taehyung

Word Count: ~7.8k

Warnings/Themes: Shotgunning (so thats recreational drug use), Rough face fucking, face-sitting (fm receiving), some background angst, not too scary lol

Summary: Can I pls request an ex lovers trope with taehyung where you broke up with him , but he shows you he loves you and was never over you and wants to be together again? Thanks!

A/N: This is part of the BTS Smut Club Anniversary fic exchange! Thanks for the prompt!

It’s nearing 10pm when the town car arrives in front of your apartment complex. The driver pulls up in the back entrance used primarily for allowing the higher profile residents to discreetly enter the building when needed. Normally the back entrance is littered with snapping cameras or fans who are trying their hand at stalking. Tonight none of those people are there for you because your mini-tour ended a day early, allowing you to return from Amsterdam a day before what’s scheduled on your website.

“Don’t forget,” your publicist sits across from you on the opposite leather upholstered bench of the car, “You’re close to reaching another follower milestone, so you need to do one last Instagram live before bed.” You release a deep sigh that sounds like it came from your bones.

“Shit. Bee, I’m really tired.”

“Language,” Bee admonishes while scrolling one iPhone in one hand before switching to the one in her other hand.

“Can’t it fucking wait,” you hiss, petty from exhaustion.

She pins you with a look that tells you she’s not playing this game with you and continues typing away. “You’ll sleep soon enough once we go through the checklist for today and tomorrow.”

Bee’s phone pings and you watch the set of her mouth grow infinitely more tense before her eyes dart to you. Rarely does hesitation temper her gaze like it does in this moment. You let out a sigh. She’s about to mention your ex.

“Also, Oh! News wants to bring you in some time this week to address statements Nick made about the breakup.”

“Of course they do,” you sigh again.

“I’ve been trying to push the date back but they’re not taking no for an answer. Plus, it might be better to go out and put an end to it so it can become old news.”

You massage your temples. “Yeah, no, I’ll do it. I’ll do it.”

Bee watches the gears in your head turn as you think about the whirlwind that was the breakup. With your departure to Europe only a few days after the PG-13 video of him with another actress blew up, there was naturally a lot of speculation. Most of it hateful and directed at you, surprisingly enough. Having just starred in a movie aimed at 12-17 year olds, Nick seemingly had all of the world’s young girl population locked and loaded at you. Your relative silence while on tour for two months in the Netherlands only fueled the outrage.

“Alright, alright,” she opens the door on your side and pushes your purse into your limp arms. “I had them take your luggage up before you. Do what I told you and then...go get some sleep, Sweets.”

“Thanks, Bee.”

Your penthouse apartment is as pristine as you left it when you push open the door, your luggage waiting neatly by your shoe closet. While you unpack your bags in your bedroom, you take note of the outfit laid out for your on your bed. It’s a pair of leggings that have sequins sewn up the sides and a matching off the shoulder top that will definitely require you to keep your bra on. It’s for the Instagram broadcast, so you won’t have to wear it long. But you want to crawl out of your skin and finally be able to turn off your public figure voice more than anything else. You suppose you can handle waiting a little while longer, though.

When you’re dressed and have your hair out of your face, you take your phone with you to the bathroom before waking up your speaker to play some mood music. A little tripod setup waits for you on the sleek countertop. Once your phone is plugged in and you’ve pulled up Instagram, you begin your livestream and your camera smile is on.

“Hey, everybody,” you greet the viewers already watching.

There’s a little more than 800,000 people are currently watching, more than normal this early in a live video. You attribute it to the tweet Bee sent from your Twitter a few minutes prior that broke your 2 month long internet silence.

“I’m sorry I’ve been gone so long,” you talk a little louder over the music you have playing. “I was so busy in Amsterdam and when I did have some down time, I wanted to really unplug. So I didn’t use social media while I was there. I’ll definitely be uploading the pictures I took, though. I saw some really amazing stuff.”

You begin pumping an oil cleanser into the palms of your hands while stopping to read the comments as they come up on the screen. Some of them you ignore because they’re comments from Nick’s fan accounts. Others welcome you back and some are fans of the artist you were touring with.

“How was touring with Nana,” you echo the fan’s question while rubbing your makeup off. “She was so wonderful, oh my god. I think she’s got such a beautiful point of view when it comes to her lyrics about getting older and dealing with the pressures of being a woman in the spotlight. Also her fashion sense is incredible.”

A few more questions about the products you’re using and what you did on your off time come up. Some people ask if you’re working on a new album yourself and you talk about that as much as you can without breaking any promises, keeping the essentials a secret. Another person asks you to sing a few bars from your verse on the song you did with Nana and you do. By the time you’re tapping moisturizer onto your face, you’ve almost made it through the broadcast unscathed. But then you see a comment that has you breaking character for a second, your muscles freezing.

douknowbt$: OMG Nick is watching the live.

Hopefully no one notices your 2 seconds of panic, but you can’t be sure until someone else blogs about it. You dismiss the comment and finish up with a few pumps of hand cream, rubbing your hands a bit manically as the comments about Nick begin to grow in number. In that moment, you sign off and quickly move to end the live. But with your haste and slippery fingers, you don’t realize you missed the button and the recording was still going.

A few of the viewers try to send messages letting you know that the live hasn’t ended, but you don’t check your phone again after throwing it onto your covers and climbing into bed. With the camera facing up, you’re seen pulling up your laptop and putting on some classical music using the surround sound speakers in your bedroom. From the screen, all the viewers can see you sitting stiffly on your bed, eyes closed for a few minutes in what looks like meditation as the adagio that’s playing washed over you. After a few deep breaths, you open your eyes and reach for your phone.

“Oh sh—,” you keep yourself from cursing at the last second when you discover the livestream didn’t end. “I’m sorry, guys. I was so tired I guess I didn’t realize I forgot to end the video. I’m signing off for real now. Yes, yes, I’m okay. Just tired. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

You triple check to make sure the video is off before throwing your phone across the bed. The day didn’t seem like it could get worse after your long flight and even longer wait at the airport when it seemed like your luggage was lost. Not to mention that you were bone tired and hungry but couldn’t have any of the foods you were craving because of a stupid photo shoot coming up in a few weeks. In that moment, the intercom rings, signaling that the front desk is trying to reach you, but you remain in bed and hope that it’ll stop. It does, for a moment, before starting up again. You groan before getting up and heading to the front door.

“Yes?”

“Hello Miss,” says the cheerful older man who runs the front desk during nights. “I trust you’re having a delightful evening.”

“Hello, Sir.”

“We just wanted to alert you that the delivery person with your order is currently on the 15th floor and should be at your suite shortly. Please anticipate your food’s arrival in the next few minutes and have a pleasant rest of the evening.” The call ends just like that, not leaving you any room to protest and say that you didn’t order food.

You figure it’s just that Bee saw what a huge shitshow your livestream was and she wants to send you something to make you feel better. And no doubt if it was something that came with a delivery person, it was good food. If she came herself, she would definitely have brought something like a salad bowl or a sushi plate. If you eat another vegetarian sushi plate, you're certain you'll die. Not from Mercury poisoning—like your mother always warns you about—but from sadness.

A tentative knock on the door sounds and you open it with a plasticky smile. Sometimes they send people who get a little star struck. Most times you’re amenable to just being subdued but friendly so that they just ask for a selfie or a quick autograph on a take out napkin and don't try to linger or say you were a bitch later on.

Tonight you're not really in the mood for too much friendliness tonight, though. In the drawer next to the door, you dig around for the wad of cash you keep hidden there and pull an obscene tip out.

“Hi, thank you,” you keep your head down and blindly reach for the white paper bag in the person's hand. “Have a good—excuse me, asshole!”

“That’s not my name.”

The hand yanks the bag out of your reach at the last second, lifting high above your head. You’re not at all in the mood for dealing with a pissy delivery boy who wants to knock you down a few pegs. Putting your hands on your hips, you’re about to give him the verbal lashing he deserves, PR consequences be damned, when you a good look at his face stops you.

“Taehyung?”

“In the flesh,” he shoots back at you.

The man in front of you gives you a muted, smug smile before shouldering his way past you and into your apartment. He stands tall in the foyer of your apartment like he belongs there and has been there a thousand times. You can’t help but drink in the image of your ex-boyfriend from half a decade ago despite the fact that he’s technically intruding. There’s still a whisper of the boy you started dating when you were in your last year of high school, but much of that is overpowered by the man he is now. He’s broader in the jaw and the shoulders than he was before, and there must have been some growth spurts since you last saw him.

“This is real nice,” he lets out a low whistle as he takes in the large open floor-plan of your apartment. You follow closely behind as he starts walking around, head cocked forward with purpose.

“What are you looking for?”

“The kitchen,” he says casually.

“It’s that way,” you gesture before realizing that you need to get your priorities straight. “What are you doing in my house?”

“I came to bring you food.”

The bag he raises gives off a pleasant savory smell and you clench your fist to keep yourself from excusing his sudden appearance.

“I didn’t ask for food. And I certainly didn’t ask you for food.”

“Touchy,” he turns back to pin you with an amused grin. “But you didn’t have to ask. I knew you needed it.”

“You knew I needed it?” You raise an incredulous eyebrow, eager to hear his explanation. “How did you know I needed it?”

He places the bag on the countertop in your kitchen, standing on the opposite side of the counter.

“Because,” he sighs, “I saw your Instagram live and you were playing Elgar. You never play Elgar unless something’s really wrong.”

“I—that’s,” he pushes the bag toward you while you try to come up with a reason while he’s wrong, when he’s not.

You’ve had a habit of playing classical music when you were near your breaking point. It’s been a habit that you’ve had since you were 10, but concealed long before you started your time in the spotlight. While you were dating Taehyung, you were a depressed teenager and he was present for some of the worst times of your life. Several times he’d found you in your room or your parents’ car blasting tragic symphonies as accompaniment for bawling your eyes out. But that was years ago.

“You can eat it. I’m not hungry,” you finally say. He looks at you like he can tell you’re lying, but plays along and shrugs.

“Fine.” He opens the bag and pulls out some smaller plastic containers of food and a spoon.

“I didn’t mean here!”

He chuckles at your outburst, mumbling something about fame not changing you, before ambling out of the kitchen and through the rooms until he arrives at your bedroom. You find him about to sit on your bed and rush over.

“If you took the subway here, don’t even think about sitting on that bed.”

“What? Suddenly my subway clothes are too dirty for your bed?”

“Yes,” you huff. “The sheets alone cost me more than half a grand.”

“What the hell,” he jumps up like he’s been shocked. “Why would you spend that much on sheets?”

“They’re highly rated,” you admit with a small voice. “And they’re used by many foreign diplomats.”

“That’s ridiculous. You’re so prissy.”

“We can’t all be members of a practical startup.” When his eyes widen in surprise, you curse yourself for letting him know you still keep tabs on him. “Besides. You used to like prissy.”

“Still do,” he gives you with a molten look that has you moving away from him and fluffing pillows to hide your flustered state.

“Why are you still here?”

“Because you’re hurting.”

“Maybe,” you throw your hands up. “But that’s not your job anymore.”

He runs a hand through his dark hair, parting the shiny waves carelessly. He’s not sure how to admit that he’s been making sure fame doesn’t eat you alive ever since you broke up with him to pursue your singing career. The memory of that day rings clear in his head even after five years of being split up.

Cliche as it sounds, it was a rainy night. You were at a meeting with Bee a few days before the entertainment label you were flirting with was going to give you the final version of your contract to sign.

Bee was never a huge fan of his, so Taehyung waited outside her office instead of interrupting the meeting to let you know he was there. But with the office door cracked, he could still hear the sounds of your conversation and the soft sounds of your sobs.

His blood grew cold when he heard what Bee was telling you. She told you starting this career with a relationship would hurt your numbers by making it impossible for your male fanbase to project their fantasies onto you because of the presence of another guy in your life. She told you if you were going to make it, you’d need to play up the role of sexy girlfriend to the audience members for the first album at least and that wouldn’t be possible if they got wind of Taehyung.

He covered his own mouth, barely fighting tears from welling up, listening as you tried to plead with Bee. Your voice was watery as you tried to convince her that you could make it without the girlfriend role. That you had enough work ethic and talent to do it. And when she didn’t budge, you said that you loved him and threatened to walk out right then if you had to break up with him. He listened to Bee tell you that you were being naive and that you’d be stupid to throw away all your opportunities for a boy.

And Bee was right.

So when you came outside minutes later with puffy eyes and a white knuckled grip on the sleeves of your sweater, he’d accepted his fate. He’d even accepted the lie you told him about having another guy on the side. Though you couldn’t produce a name when he asked who it was. Though you looked up at him like you wanted to take it all back. Though you leaned your forehead on his chest like you were in the greatest amount of pain. He accepted it all and walked away.

That is, if walking away meant that he created fake social media accounts so he could comment positive things on your first few interview videos and bought tickets to as many concerts he could when you were in the area. He never tried to make his presence known, just stood there and drank in how vibrant you looked when you were on stage and singing your heart out. It took a while for the jealousy to stop rearing its ugly head whenever he looked at how other people would show their adoration for you. By the time Nick came around, he was convinced he was content with how things were. But after seeing the way Nick’s cheating affected you, he had a hard time sitting still.

“Well, I’m not leaving until you feel better. So, you better start talking.”

“What is there to even say?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

You sigh and ignore him in favor of walking over to the large sofa in the corner of your room and collapsing on the large sofa face first. A dip in the cushions near you tells you he’s followed you and sat down. When you finally reveal your face, he’s peering down at you with a sad look in his eyes. The sad, sympathetic look that would always get you spilling your guts when you were still together. So you tell him everything.

It's almost embarrassing to tell him that you thought you loved Nick. At their best, things with Nick were comfortable and sometimes passionate, but it wasn’t anything close to love. Nothing close to what you had with Taehyung. And how could it have been when the reason you got together in the first place was because Bee thought you could ‘scratch each other’s backs’? Nick was not only handsome with the clean image Bee wanted for you, but you were writing and singing the theme song for the blockbuster movie he was to star in. It all seemed to work at first.

It only took one tabloid story suggesting that he was seeing some other younger and bustier actress behind your back to make you see that nothing you had with him was substantial. You brought the story up as a joke, thinking you could laugh about the way tabloids would do anything for story—even lie. As soon as you mentioned it to him, he denied it hastily and made a snide comment about not believing everything you see just because it’s technically press. After that, it was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly you couldn’t be in the same room together for more than 10 minutes without going at each other’s throats. The cheating rumors kept flaring up until they reached a peak a little more than 2 months ago, when someone anonymously submitted a video of him groping and kissing the same actress outside of a bakery in your hometown in broad daylight.

After watching the video about 15 times on the plane to Amsterdam, you concluded that even though he had long since established himself as a grade-A asshole in your mind, he was in mushy-love with this girl. You could tell from the sweet way he cradled her face while kissing her and how he took the extra step to block any potential cameras before giving her impressive rack a squeeze. Lucky for you, the video didn’t really evoke any messy emotions like jealousy. Instead there was just some satisfaction at having your suspicions confirmed and knowing he’d have to clean up this mess. You felt bad for the other actress, though. She was just starting out with mainly B movie roles and there was no telling whether the public would fillet her or ignore her altogether.

Taehyung has to sit on his hands to keep from rubbing your back you as you pour out all the things that had been stressing you out. What startles him is how stoic you are the whole time. When he first met you, you cried at the drop of a hat. It was endearing back then, but there’s no trace of it now. You sniffle a little when you talk about some of the vicious hate mail you received while in Amsterdam, but besides the shining eyes, that’s it. He clenches his jaw and wonders what you must have gone through in the last five years to have lost that quality.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles when the lull in the conversation is longer than he expected.

“It’s fine, I just,” you sniff again, wipe your eyes carefully. “I was really hoping that once the dating clause in my contract expired, things wouldn’t blow up in my face like this. And now I can’t go anywhere without people shoving mentions of Nick in my face. I just—it sucks. I just want to do what I want and I thought I’d earned that right but I guess not.”

“I don’t know. I think you’ve earned it. You’re grammy nominated this year, and you visited 13 countries this year alone.”

“What are you? President of my fan club?”

“Do I look like a 14 year old girl to you?”

You squint like you’re giving it some thought and he squawks.

“I’m just kidding,” you duck your head. “You’re, what, 226?” He laughs at the extra two centuries you’ve tacked on.

“You remember my birthday,” he smiles widely.

“Of course I do.” The way he looks at you makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up so you change the subject. “Alright. I’ve done enough talking. Where’s my compensation?”

“You literally haven’t changed at all,” he says while fishing in the pockets of his dark wash denim jacket. It takes a few seconds and he has to pull a few balled up receipts and earphones out of the pockets but he eventually pulls out a fat blunt and brandishes it like a huge check.

Nose wrinkling, you push his hand out of your face. “Weed?”

“Yeah! You said you wanted a pick-me-up, right? And I just got this yesterday from a dispensary. This is the good, strong shit. Probably could compete with the stuff they have in Amsterdam.”

“Well, I wouldn’t be able to tell.”

“Huh,” he furrows his brow while hunting for a lighter.

“I’ve never smoked so I wouldn’t know.”

“You mean you were in Amsterdam and you didn’t even try to smoke?”

“It’s bad for my voice,” you whine at his judgmental glare.

“Bullshit.”

“It smells like armpit,” you try again.

“There’s the prissy princess. Well, you should know that the only stuff that smells like that is the shit broke evil dealers peddle to broke college students.”

You roll your eyes, but sit up on your heels so you can pay closer attention. Taehyung flicks his lighter to life and lights up the end of the blunt. He takes a deep inhale before letting out a thick cloud of smoke. He gestures for you to take it, but you shake your head nervously.

“What’s the matter now?”

“I don’t know how to do it. What if I burn my lips?”

He squints at you, wondering how you can be such a baby. “The cherry’s not even on the side you put your mouth on.”

“Whatever! I’m still scared.”

“Do you want to try it, though?”

You gnaw at your lip thoughtfully and decide that you need to take your mind off everything for a while. “Y-yeah, I guess. I don’t have a studio session tomorrow.”

“Okay.” He scoots forward on the couch until your knees are just barely brushing. “I’ll shotgun it to you.”

“What’s that?”

“You’ll see.”

He takes another drag, this time a little smaller, and holds the smoke in his mouth. Turning to you, he leans in until you can feel his bangs brush your forehead as he tilts his head to get the angle right. There’s about an inch of space between your mouths when he starts to let the smoke billow out of his mouth. You get the gist and try to inhale it as best as possible, but you’re new to it and he’s too far away for you to get the smoke.

“I’m not getting any,” your tone is petulant as the smoke floats up around your face.

Taehyung, on the other hand, is already feeling the effects of the strong blend he bought. He scoots forward once more and then turns to the side so he can take another drag. This next time, he grabs your jaw and brings you forward to meet him. Thumbing at your bottom lip, he coaxes your mouth open and slack before slotting his lips over yours. You feel the brush of the supple skin of his lips and it distracts you a bit, but this time you do manage to inhale most of the fumes. Your eyes drop closed as you hold the smoke in for as long as possible before letting your breath out.

“How was that,” Taehyung asks lowly. His lids have drooped to match his relaxed state. With the high slowly creeping over him, he ogles you unabashedly.

“It was okay. Do it again.”

He nods and quickly burns through the rest of the blunt, giving you the larger hits when he shotguns to you and taking slightly smaller drags for himself. To keep you nearby, his hand comes to rest heavily on the small of your back. You, still on your haunches, somehow end up straddling one of his thighs to stay close. Near the end of the blunt, you’re feeling a bit floaty and like the heat from the blunt transferred to your belly. Taehyung’s gaze feels tangible on you, like a firm-handed caress across all parts of you as he looks you over. Like smoke on your skin. You recognize the feeling as one you haven’t felt in a while and move to sit more properly in his lap.

“I want the last one,” you whisper while tugging on the collar of his jacket. The ends of his long hair tickle your fingers.

He nods and moves slowly to suck the roach dry. Once he’s close enough, you wait patiently. His nose grazes your cheek for a few long seconds before he finally turns to pass the smoke to you. You take it obediently and exhale but then grab him by the lapels to press your lips to his. His hands come up immediately to cup your face and pull you closer. You work your lips over his, drawing low groans from him as your tongue teases his.

“You smell good,” he says groggily between kisses.

“Thanks,” you roll your eyes.

His eyes flutter shut when you begin to press kisses to the column of his throat, your hands moving to unbutton the dress shirt he’s wearing underneath. He tries his best to keep up with you, but he gets slow when he’s high. So he settles for you being in charge, but does let his hands roam over your body.

A lot has changed since he last felt you like this. The strict gym regimen you employ to compliment choreography for songs has given you an amazing ass that he thought could only gaze at in pictures. And he had done quite a lot of that. Though he’s not sure how you would feel if he confessed to jerking off to some of your sexier music videos. He marvels at the feel of you and you’re pleasantly surprised when his hands come down heavy on your hips to grind you down onto his lap. A pleased hum leaves you and you reward him with kisses migrating lower, across the path of his now exposed torso. You leave the couch to sit between his spread knees on the floor. The button of his jeans is your last major obstacle and you still your hands over the waistband patiently.

“You get where I’m going with this, right?”

He nods his head, tongue coming out unconsciously to wet his lips at he takes in the sight of you on your knees in front of him.

“Do want you want me to...” you trail off, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed at asking your ex if you could blow him.

“Do you? Want to?” His hand reaches out to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over you cheekbone.

“Yeah?”

“Then, yeah.”

You move quickly to unbutton his pants and slide them down his thighs once he lifts his butt to assist you. He’s wearing boxers, which is a relief because you don’t want his bare ass on your very expensive couch, and the crotch opening provides easy access. With one hand, you smooth the wrinkles in his boxers over, noting the tent in the fabric and the dark stain where his head must be dribbling pre-cum. Your mouth is watering as you pull him out and test his girth and weight in your hand. Just the sight of his dick in your hand makes you want to swallow him down.

Before he can say anything else, you’re wetting his shaft with broad licks from root to tip. He grits his teeth and lets out a satisfied grunt at the way it feels when you tongue at his slit. You take him in until you just barely wrap your lips around the head, and he lets out a low moan at finally being enveloped in the wet, silken heat of your mouth.

“Can you do me a favor,” he manages to ask you despite the fact that stars are forming in the corner of his vision when you take him against the inside of your cheek.

“Hmm,” you hum around him, causing his hips to jolt up the tiniest amount.

“Can you spit on it?”

You smile in a way that can only be described as predatory and pull him out of your mouth. You spit like he asks, letting some drool pool on him as well, while he moans again and his hand comes out to smooth over your hairline. He’s more vocal than you remember and it gets you wet quickly. Before you stain anything, you kick off your stupid bedazzled leggings so you can return them to Bee in the morning.

“Shit,” he hisses when you start bobbing your head to a fast and unforgiving rhythm. You’re playing with him, you want to wring an orgasm out of him, and he can sense this. “Why don’t we take this s-slow?”

You pull off briefly. “Tae, I want you to fuck my face. That’s not well-suited to slow.”

“Isn’t that bad for your voice,” he mimics your tone from earlier.

You give him a pinch on his thigh before taking him into your mouth again and resuming your ministrations. Since you’re so focused on getting what you want, he decides to try and level the playing field and keeps his hip movements to a minimum and opts to talk through the head instead. He’s determined to get some clarity with you

“I’ve missed you,” he breathes deeply through the feeling of your saliva starting to trickle over him. The slide is getting slicker as you continue, making him lose his train of thought briefly. “So much.”

Instead of replying back with words, you just give a little acknowledging noise that’s too neutral to be a dissenting or affirming noise. He takes it in stride and continues.

“I still think about you all the time. And I—fuck—I’ve tried to date other people, but it’s just never felt quite the same way. You were the only one who understood me so well and who didn’t try to change me.”

His words wash over you and a wave of fondness hits you in a way that has you almost shy. You haven’t been shy in a long while because you couldn’t afford to be in your line of work. People were always trying to capture parts of you, and a great deal of them were trying to capture the uglier sides. There was no room to actually fear that for the last five years of your life because it was inevitable to a certain degree. But as you work over Taehyung, his words make you feel stripped down. You feel bare and small despite the fact that his words have nothing but good in them really.

“If I’m being honest,” he says and you slow your rhythm to stare at him, wondering what he could have to confess. “You might be even further out of my league than when we first met.” You sigh and pull off of him.

“Tae, come on. Give yourself some slack.”

“No, I mean it,” he sits up slowly, tongue heavy with earnestness as he tries to talk through the high. “It seems like you’ve only become more comfortable with yourself since you started singing and the way you move—it’s like you’re from another planet.”

“Oh my god,” your cheeks heat up when he looks at you like you have a halo and wings. “Stop, you’re being so unnecessary right now.”

“I still love you,” he says. The words fall from his mouth like he’s been dying to say them. “And I know you didn’t cheat on me when we were younger.”

Your mouth drops open in shock. To this day you still regretted lying to him like that. But deep down you knew that there was something off about his reaction. He didn’t seem shocked or nearly disappointed as you thought someone might be when they hear they’re being left for another person. Instead, he had just nodded and insisted on driving you home until Bee had to come out and promise him that she’d do it herself. The fact that he didn’t block you on social media or try to drag your name through the mud immediately after your debut made you wonder if he saw through your lie.

“How did you know?”

“I came early to pick you up that day. And I heard Bee tell you what to say to me. How to break up with me.”

“Tae, I’m so—”

He shushes you with a tender kiss to the cheek that’s so soft you’re rendered momentarily speechless.

“I know. It’s not your fault, they didn’t give you a choice.”

“I would have picked you if I could,” you mumble into the space between you. His hands feel like anchors on either side of your face and you cling to them in the hopes that you won’t cry. “I really would have. You don’t know how much I missed you.”

“I feel the same way. It killed me to see you with that Nick asshole.”

You smirk a little at the mention of Nick. “Aw. Were you jealous, Tae?”

He looks down at you for a second, reading your face carefully, before dropping one hand down from your cheeks to the nape of your neck. The weight of it reads as possessive on your skin and you lean forward unconsciously until you’re able to smell the faintly sweet smell of smoke on his clothes.

“You’d like it if I was, right?” His gaze hardens, setting your heartbeat into a rabbit-quick pace. “Hmm? You like me being jealous of him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Answer me.”

“Okay, fine. Maybe I do,” you nuzzle into his neck to hide the excited smile splitting your lips.

“I knew it. It’s pretty on-brand for you.”

He nudges your bare thigh to signal you need to get up and so you do. You’re about to ask him what the hell ‘on brand’ means for you when he bends down to throw you over his shoulder with a low grunt.

“Tae, what the hell!”

Your raised voice gets you a harsh tweak to the perky globe of your ass and immediately quiets you down. He walks with you to the bed before throwing you down. Not rough enough to hurt but just rough enough to surprise you and give a doe-eyed look to your face. When you look up at him, his charade has fallen a bit, eyes returning to their original sleepy softness.

“Is this how you want it,” he asks you.

His voice is deep and gentle, and it evokes a different but equally visceral reaction. You nod and then shuffle over to the edge of the bed and sit at the edge of the mattress, waiting to see where he’ll take the situation. He smiles darkly at you once more before placing a hand on the back of your head to lead to his crotch.

His erection stands taller than it did before on the couch and he digs his fingers into your hair when you plant sweet kisses on the juncture where his thigh meets groin. You look sweet like this—playful, even—as you mouth along his length with kitten licks interspersed. When you’re about to take him into your mouth once more, he fists your hair and pulls you off him. With your head angled up to look into his eyes, you see a new emotion in them.

“Look,” he sighs. “If we’re going to do this, we’re going to do the whole thing.”

“What, like sex?”

“No, I mean you and me. I want to be with you. I’ve made my peace with what happened between us, but I know I still love you. So, I’m asking you to decide if you’re willing to do that, to be with me. Because I can’t—”

“Yes.”

“What?” His eyes grow wider and take on an awestruck quality. Like he’s not sure he wants to believe what he heard from you. “Really?”

“I want to try again,” you curl your hands around his hips. Bringing him forward into a hug around his pelvis, you lean your chin on his lower abdomen and try to infuse as much reassurance as you can into your smile.

“You won’t get in trouble with your agency?”

You shake your head and curl your arms around his hips, bringing him into an awkward hug as you lean your chin on his lower abdomen and look up at him. “Nick was an exception because he and I were arranged by our respective agencies, but my dating clause expired last year. I can date who I want. Within reason.”

He throws his head back with the realization that he’ll get a second chance with you. The hand he has on the back of your head softly caresses the skin of your neck.

“God, I love you,” he breathes with eyes drifting closed in contentedness.

“Good. Now can we get back to this? You were being fun earlier.”

“Yeah?” His tone turns gravelly and coy as he coaxes you back towards his dick. “Are you ready to choke?”

You can only nod as you take him in gradually, only for him to wait until you get halfway and push your head further down. You gag around him at the sudden pressure at the back of your throat, but shift your breathing through your nose to get a better handle on it. He pulls you by the hair until you’re at the tip again before slamming you back down, your nose nearly brushing the skin of his abdomen. You gag and the sound causes him to thicken in your mouth and a rush of arousal to trickle down into your panties.

“You feel so good around my cock,” he moans as he begins thrusting shallowly into your mouth. You can tell he’s close from how irregular the rhythm is. “Can you try to deep throat me?”

After you give an affirmative hum and relax your throat as best you can, he takes your face in both hands and starts to pull you up and down his length, going further each time until he knows he’s in your throat from the sudden tightness of you swallowing and the increase in gagging. Saliva is now dripping from your mouth, coating him and your chin, but you don’t care. Your eyes tear up at the burning sensation, but you can also feel your arousal trickle down your leg as he fucks your mouth more intensely. Right as you press two fingers to your clothed center for some relief, he gives you a tapped warning on your neck and his orgasm spills into your mouth.

He quickly pulls off his jacket and shirt, handing the latter to you to wipe your eyes and mouth with. Once your face is dry, he tucks himself back in and climbs around you into the bed. You turn to watch him fold back your blankets and throw the pillows you have all to the foot of the bed, leaving the space by the headboard. Taehyung then lies down, head where your pillows once were.

“Going to sleep already?” Your voice comes out in a sultry croak that has him laughing a little.

“No, I’m getting ready for you to sit on my face,” he says simply.

When you don’t budge, he sits up and pulls you by the arms toward him. You try to escape him, but his grip just tightens the more you protest.

“Tae, wait, I’m not—”

“You’re not what?”

“I’m not...presentable. Down there.” You avert your eyes as you explain to him that it's been a since you were last at a spa to get waxed. You figured since you weren’t seeing Nick anymore and you were mandated by your PR crew to wait at least 4 months after a breakup, there was no need to keep up with such a strict...landscaping routine. He rolls his eyes and moves to pull on the waistband of your panties to peek in and see what you mean, but you shove him away.

“Do you think I actually care?”

“Do you really not?”

“No? Unless you have some disease or infection, what’s the issue?”

“I’m clean,” you pout.

“Good,” he says before placing a kiss on your lips.

While you’re distracted by the kissing, he maneuvers you into straddling his waist before pulling back. Reluctantly, you shuffle up to hover over his ribcage and shyly grab the headboard. He huffs.

“You know I can’t reach you from there. It’s called sitting on someone’s face for a reason.”

He nudges your butt until the seat of your panties lines up with his jaw. He sees a few errant curls peeking out from the leg holes of your panties, so he uses a finger to push your underwear to the side to get a better look. What’s unsurprising is that it still looks like a vagina, though it had been a while since his last non-bald encounter. He doesn’t care, though, and cups your butt in his hands to move you the rest of the way.

The broad strip he licks up from your entrance to your clit takes you by surprise and because you were wound up so tight from a combination of nerves and horniness from blowing him, you let out a high keening sound. Taehyung chuckles beneath you before using his full lips to kiss at the apex of your thighs, sucking your clit into his mouth. The tip of his tongue scrubs figure eights against the bundle of nerve endings and has you squirming over him. More arousal leaks from you and he shifts to drink from you, humming and slurping obscenely. He then starts to lick at you in earnest, tracing strategic shapes across your lips and sucking with varying pressures and paces until you start rocking over him on your own accord.

“That’s my girl,” he praises you from below. “Now, ride my face,” he says before flattening his tongue and pressing up to meet your tentative grinding thrusts.

The combination of saliva and your arousal makes the glide smoother than you expected and it feels so good that one of your hands leaves the headboard to fist in his thick hair. He moans a little at the faint sting and wraps his hands around the backs of your thighs to press you against him harder. His tongue dips into your entrance occasionally, chasing the flavor of your arousal, trying not to let any of your juices go to waste. You bite your lip to trap the wanton moans trying to escape you, but Taehyung realizes what you’re doing and gives you another sharp swat to the bottom to coax them out, mumbling against the inside of your thigh not to hide from him anymore.

As you start to move more desperately above him, he attempts to fuck you more purposefully with his tongue. It’s just enough that in a dozen more swivels of your hips, you’re cumming all over his face, soaking his cheeks with a glistening varnish. You try to move as quickly as possible, but he stops you with a tight hold on your hips and licks you clean. You squirm away, partly because you’re sensitive and partly because he’s so enthusiastic about it that you’re a little bashful.

Finally he lets you get off him, but he doesn’t let you get too far. He follows you and almost makes it into the en suite with you, but you close the door at the last moment. You pee and clean up and when you come out, you feel like a weight has been lifted. Taehyung looks infinitely more sober lying in the middle of your bed in just his boxers, eyes bright and hair messy as he tries to figure out which remote will turn on your speakers.

You stand by the bed and watch him for a while. He turns to you innocently and holds the remotes in his two hands with confusion.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you approach your closet and take off your borrowed sweatshirt before looking for your favorite well-worn sweatsuit. “You’re just so pretty.”

“You’re prettier,” he shouts over to you. He can’t see you inside your closet, but you’re smiling like an idiot.

When you’re fully changed, you go to the bed and lean over him to kiss him. He still smells like you and you tell him so, to which he responds with a grin and subtly licking his lips.

“So when do you want me to tell the public about you?”

“Whenever you want,” he shrugs.

“Really? Because there’s a good chance you won’t be able to live your life the same way you have been once I do that.”

“Then it’ll just change. I would expect it to if you’re coming back into my life again.”

“Oh my god, you’re so—”, you’re at a loss for words.

You decide to crawl into his space and pepper kisses into his skin. He smells like a strange blend of you and him, but the smell is reassuring in some way unknown to you. You sit there for the rest of the night, breathing him in like smoke

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taste-in-music · 5 years ago

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My Other Favorite Songs of 2019

This is a list for all of my favorite songs of the year that aren’t on my album of EP of the year list. (Read my top albums and EPs of the year lists if you want some context.) However, songs from albums that were on my rapid-fire review list are fare game. That’s enough preamble, this list is in no particular order (except, of course, for the final song.)

Listen along to the complete mix of all these songs HERE. Let’s talk about some great music!

affection by BETWEEN FRIENDS: This was my favorite song off of BETWEEN FRIENDS’s debut EP from this year, we just need some time together. This is the perfect swoony, dreamy pop song that was my relaxing Summer jam. I love the way the melody on the hook is ushered in with a churning bass in the pre-chorus and washes over me with each listen.

trevi fountain by Leo Kalyan: Leo Kalyan is one of my favorite, (and most underrated) dream pop artists, always able to capture a sense of otherwordly bliss in his music. If there was one word I had to use to describe this song, it would be romantic. This song feels purely, dizzyingly, head-over-heels in love, and it was on repeat for me all throughout Valentine’s Day.

Numb by Baker Grace: One of the most instantly catchy songs of the year. Chopped-up vocals don’t always work for me, but here they combine with the punchy production in such a way that they contribute to the “over-it” attitude of the song. God, what a bop.

Clumsy Love by Thelma Plum: This melancholy love song traipsed its way right into my heart as soon as I heard it. The light tambourines, bubbly guitar, and upbeat melody give this song a sunny feel that contrasts nicely with Thelma Plum’s heartbroken lyrics and delivery.

Love You For A Long Time by Maggie Rogers: If more people used that reverb-layered-vocal-chorus-of-angels effect in their music, then I would like that very much, because so far Miss Maggie Rogers has used it twice, (on this and “Retrograde”) and it has made those songs some of my favorites from her. This sweet, upbeat track was a surprising single after the album, and I swear I listened to it on a loop for a week straight. I’m going to love this song for a long time.

Karma by MARINA: This is probably my favorite song off of Love + Fear, or at least it was the song that I returned to the most as the year went on. The icy backing vocals and Spanish guitars give the track a cool and refreshing feel. MARINA’s performance is, as always, gorgeous, her rich vocals skating over the frosty soundscape with grace and a hint of sarcasm.

Gone by Charli XCX ft. Christine and the Queens: One word: BOP. I seriously considered ending the write-up there, but I’ll also mention that Charli and Chris have amazing vocal chemistry, the lyrics about being socially awkward are seriously relatable, and the bass is sick. Also, Chris’s lines in French? Iconic. Even the instrumental breakdown at the end has grown on me.

Death By A Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift: This ended up being my favorite song off Lover, (with “Cruel Summer” taking a close second.) I am obsessed with the sparkly production, (my boy Jack Antanoff, once again, went antanOFF,) especially those flitting, echo-y vocal samples that start the track out and the glittering keys that dance under the verses. Along with that, Swift’s writing is sharp, recounting a breakup in a specific yet relatable way.

make up by Ariana Grande: This was the first non-single off of thank u, next that I really loved. I think it’s due to the fun, cheeky energy. The beat perfectly balances tense plucked bass, chimes, and vintage-leaning, pitch-shifted backing vocals, I especially love those “hey-hey-hey”s that pepper the chorus. This is a great song to get ready for a party to.

Don’t Say by Robinson: I didn’t realize how much I missed Robinson until she came back with this immaculate synthpop banger of a breakup song. The upbeat production on this make it fun and danceable, but Robinson’s delivery makes it a fireball of emotion as well. She’s supposedly dropping a new EP soon, and I can’t wait.

Live Forever by Nasty Cherry: Nasty Cherry were one of the most fascinating bands to emerge this year, backed by Charli XCX and a Netflix docuseries. Now I don’t care about all that so long as the music was good, and you know what? They’ve got some damn good songs, and I’m a sucker for all-women bands. This song edged out the band’s debut single “Win” for the list. The harmonies on the chorus, bright guitars, and all-around nostalgic feel of this song made this an instant pop-rock jam in my book.

Blinding Lights by The Weeknd: I’ve always found The Weeknd’s music to be most engaging when it sounds like he’s having fun, like in “Can’t Feel My Face.” This song is an absolute jam, with an instrumental that sounds like it was ripped right from the 80′s, (but it literally was though, it samples “Take on Me” by a-ha,”) and one of the most instantly likable choruses I’ve heard in a while.

Playing Games by Anna Of The North: This is just a total jam that I couldn’t stop playing at the end of the Summer. I love the light guitars on the verses and the smooth, relaxed-yet-upbeat feel. It’s probably my favorite song off of Dream Girl.

Sanctuary by Joji: Joji’s music has always been hit or miss for me, but this song is definitely a hit. The dreamy, spacey atmosphere built up by the spacious synths and Joji’s laid-back delivery instantly puts me at ease.

Soaked by BENEE: The song that introduced me to BENEE also ended up being my favorite from her. The jaunty, casual feel of this song make it the ultimate laid-back indie pop tune. Both of BENEE’s EPs from this year, FIRE ON MARZZ and STELLA & STEVE are quirky listens that are worth your time.

The King by Conan Gray: 2019 saw Conan Gray taking his lyricism into a more heartbroken and sarcastic direction, which was an interested evolution to witness. Out of all the singles that Conan Gray dropped throughout the course of the year, this one is my favorite. I love the way the chorus rushes through me with every new listen, Conan’s delivery is so dang breezy.

Twist by Dizzy: I swear Dizzy have nostalgic melancholy perfected into a science. This song has one of my favorite choruses of the year, featuring lyrics that are heart-twisting (ha, but no really,) and a gentle yet earnest delivery from frontwoman Katie Munshaw. Whenever I hear this I feel sad in a reflective, smiling-with-a-single-tear-rolling-down-my-cheek kind of way.

Joyride by SONIA: I came across this on a Spotify New Music Friday one week and clicked on it just for kicks and it has been one of my favorite finds of the year. SONIA has one of those smoky, sensual voices that I can’t help but love, and her performance paired with the yearning lyrics make for a song that is sorrowful yet romantic at the same time.

You Sexy Thing by Zella Day: And the award for comeback of the year goes to Zella Day, whose music I fell in love with back in 2016 and have been patiently awaiting for new content from since. She hinted at dropping new music last December, and boy was this worth the wait. This cover of the 1975 release by Hot Chocolate is retro, playful, and, what else? Sexy. I hope to hear more from Ms. Day in the near future, but until then, I will have this, Kicker, and the Man On The Moon/Hunnie Pie single on a continuous loop.

Red by Lucy Daydream: I found this song in my Spotify Discovery Weekly back in April, and what a fun find it was. This song is a relaxing indie pop bop with inexplicable replay value. I loved this so much that I even checked out Lucy Daydream’s album from this year, Awake & Dreaming, and while the rest of the album didn’t quite match this song in my opinion, I still thought it was a nice listen. I’m definitely keeping Lucy Daydream on my radar going into the future.

What About Love by BANKS: As I mentioned on my Rapid-Fire Reviews list, I wasn’t all that into III. However, there were some songs on it that I really latched onto, and this was one of them. This song conveys so much raw emotion, with one of BANKS’s most impassioned performances on the whole album. I love the use of autotune, quivering strings, sparse keys, and fluttering vocal samples to create an isolated yet overwhelming soundscape, (it’s amazing with headphones on.) Also, every lyric in this hits like a gut punch.

Harmony Hall by Vampire Weekend: I thought that I liked this song, but I guess I love this song, because it ended up being my fifth most listened to song of 2019? There’s definitely a reason for that, this song is so instantly likable, with a memorable guitar line, bright pianos, and one of the most anthemic choruses of the year.

Alligator by Of Monsters and Men: What a smash debut single this was, I was hooked from the very first chord. The energy in this song is unmatched, it has a sense of propulsive power that always hypes me up. The thin layers of distortion and reverb over the guitars and Nanna Bryndís Hilmarsdóttir’s voice give this song a sense of otherworldly eeriness that I really enjoy.

Blown to Bits by Charly Bliss: This song sounds like the jittery feeling I get after drinking caffeine in the best kind of way, if that makes any kind of sense. The buzzy guitars, vocal layering, and overall electric energy present on this track made it an instant favorite off of Charly Bliss’s album from this year Young Enough. Also the lyrics are weirdly relatable as they recount feelings of uncertainty and nostalgia, and Eva Hendricks delivers them with firepower.

House Of Glass by Cage The Elephant: This is just a banger through and through, and the fact that the opening riff is reminiscent of “Come A Little Closer” doesn’t hurt either. The verses maintain a nice sense of tension, with Matt Schultz delivering the lyrics in a near whisper. But once that chorus kicks in, it’s official, I have no choice but to become a swaggering badass.

still feel by half•alive: This was my first favorite song of the year, (and I know it was technically a single from last year, but the album dropped this year, so I’m counting it,) I remember playing this on a loop all throughout January. And you know what? It hasn’t faded on me in the slightest, this is still a banger through and through. The bass groove, the snaps, that little chime that comes at the end of the prechorus, it makes for one hell of a buildup. And once that chorus hits I have no choice but to groove off into the galaxy.

In the Afternoon by MGMT: Another comeback that made this year amazing! Not only are MGMT back with a new single, but they’re also independent now, which inspired my best pun of the year. This song slams, it’s filled with creepy atmosphere but by the end you’ll be dancing and singing along. Needless to say, I’m hyped to see what they bring into the new year.

My Favorite Fish by Gus Dapperton: The melody on this chorus is so catchy, once you hear it it will not leave your head. I also love the vibe of this song, it’s very relaxed and nonchalant in its delivery. I reckon it’d be a nice song to take a long, sunset walk on the beach to.

Little Trouble by Better Oblivion Community Center: Better Oblivion Community Center, the collaboration project of Phoebe Bridgers and Conor Oberst, put out a lot of great music this year. I was torn between this and “Dylan Thomas” to make the list, but ultimately picked this one because its energy, built up by squealing electric guitars and shuffling drums, is so upbeat, and over the course of the year it never failed to put a smile on my face.

Can’t Buy Happiness by Tash Sultana: Tash Sultana has always been a musician I’ve tended to admire for their talent from afar, never returning to their music all that often. This song, however, broke that pattern with its hypnotically beautiful simplicity. The gentle guitars that open this track blossom into a lush soundscape during each chorus, studded with grandiose synths, light cymbals, and Tash Sultana’s larger-than-life performance.

Fucking Money Man by ROSALÍA: I’m including both songs on this single release because they’re equally brilliant. “Milionària” is a lively, upbeat track that relishes in opulence, peppered with the playful refrain of “fucking money man” and snappy drums. The tone switches right after with the haunting ballad “Dio$ No$ Libre Del Dinero,” which warns of the dangers of greed.

Everybody Loves You by SOAK: The way the narrative on this song unfold as the track progresses is just beautiful. I don’t want to go too in depth, because I feel like it’s someone a person should experience without knowing anything prior. Let’s just say that this was a song I came back to whenever I was feeling emo, and the way it blossoms into brightness always has a way of making me feel better whenever I’m down.

Rylan by The National: So The National have been around for literal decades but I just discovered them this year, loving the song “I’ll Still Destroy You” off of Sleep Well Beast especially. However, I also really enjoyed this song, with its breezy rock sound and melancholy lyrical narrative. The ghostly backing vocals that inhabit the mix send shivers down my spine. Also, the bridge. Just, everything about the bridge.

Summer Girl by HAIM: This breezy, chill tune was perfect for those long, relaxed days in August where the afternoons drag on until 9:00pm. It reminds me of “Walk on the Wild Side” by Lou Reed, but a bit jazzier, with the saxophone and the playful “doo doo doo” refrain. I aspire to the levels of cool that HAIM have achieved. I know I’ll never reach it, but I still aspire to it.

cellophane by FKA Twigs: If there was any one quality that I would point to in order to describe why this song is so good, it would be its build in dynamics. This song starts out as sounding so fragile it could shatter at any second, which Twigs’s vocals barely rising above a whisper and backed in gentle murmurs and light pianos. However, as the sharper synths slither in and her voice gets more powerful, the sound builds to a gorgeous and jaw-dropping finale that never loses any of its emotion for a second.

Barefoot In The Park by James Blake ft. ROSALÍA: This song sounds like running through a forest while alien lights flash overhead. The ambiance is romantic and slightly chilling, made up of light marimbas, siren-like vocal samples, and whispering synths. I initially listened to this song because of ROSALÍA, but I ended up loving it so much that I checked out James Blake’s album from this year, Assume Form, too.

Bags by Clairo: Clairo’s debut album Immunity was a beautiful display of emotion and subtlety, and this was my favorite song off of that project. The production here is sweet and sorrowful, with flitting guitars and light drums, and Clairo’s lyrics and performance match perfectly. Everything about this communicates reserved, tender pining, (are y’all sensing a theme on this list?) It makes me go absolutely bananas every time I hear it.

Get Well by Donna Missal: Y’all know I’ll take any chance to talk about my queen Donna Missal. She released two singles this year, this and the excellent R&B slow-burner “You Burned Me,” but I had to pick this one for the list. Not only did this drop on Valentine’s Day, but I love how restrained and delicate this song is, both in its simple production and in Donna’s bordering-on-fragile delivery.

Falling by Harry Styles: This turned out to be my favorite song off of Fine Line. (My rapid-fire review for that album: pretty good, but a bit bland, and I missed the rock edge of Harry’s debut.) Still, this is a stunner if there ever was one. I’m just a sucker for a regretful love song with a bare yet effective instrumental and emotive vocals.

I Lost a Friend by FINNEAS: I’ve spoken multiple times about how I love the way this song builds throughout its runtime. This song starts out with a simple guitar line and slowly adds elements like distortion, flutes, and bass to communicate the emotional intensity in the lyrics. FINNEAS is a fascinating performer and producer, both in his work and with others, and I can’t wait to see what he does in the future.

Seventeen by Sharon Van Etten: This year I’ve been thinking a lot about the future, and one of the ways I would sate my anxieties about uncertainties to come would be through music, (I don’t know if that was apparent from many of my picks on this list.) No song better described the whirlwind of emotions ripping through me than this one. Sharon Van Etten’s take on giving advice to her younger self served as a comforting voice of reason to me throughout the year. Her performance here is assuring yet slightly concerned, nostalgic and yet tinged with regret. This almost sounds like a lost Stevie Nicks song, with a propulsive build of guitars, unrestrained synths dancing throughout the mix, and a chorus that I want to scream out the window of a car speeding down a highway. I absolutely adore it.

I Dare You by The Regrettes: If you aren’t surprised, then I’m not surprised. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that this is my song of the year, hands down. If “Seventeen” was the song that articulated all of my anxieties throughout the year, then “I Dare You” was the song that provided a reprieve from them. This song feels timeless, like it could’ve come out during a slew of decades, and yet it sounds modern as well. Every detail of the instrumental seems perfectly designed to form the most catchy and likable song ever created, from the light snares, to the “oohs” in the prechorus, to the colorful guitars. Also, can we talk about how adorable the lyrics are? They perfectly describe the flurry of feeling that come with a crush, from “you’re the one that brings the sun” to “there's a look that you give me, a switch / and my filter melts, and the words just slip.” Not only was this my most-listened to song this year, but I can’t think of a piece of music this year that made me happier every time I returned to it. Also, the music video was just as cute as the song was.

And that’s the list! What were your favorite songs of 2019? Any artists, albums, singles, etc. I should know about? Leave your thoughts and recommendations down below.

#favorites #songs #music #song of the year #song recommendation #not tagging every artist good lorde #taste in music #taste in music 2019 faves

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breachtopology · 5 years ago

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prompt: we’re secret friends with benefits and you accidentally wore my shirt to to the party so you’re pretending you came as me and it turns out your impression of me is on point and you know me better than you know myself are you sure you’re not in love with me?? \\ requested by @hermannsthumb

sorry this is so late (but it’s still halloween on the west coast? did I make it??) some shatterdome-era, halloween-themed com dram.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Newt cracks an eye open, waking from a nap he hadn’t realized he was taking. He lifts his head and looks where it had previously been resting—on Hermann’s bare chest. Newt’s eyes drag upward to Hermann’s face—eyes still closed, gently resting.

Reaching over to his nightstand without looking, Newt first mistakenly grabs his glasses, then his remote for the A/C setup he cobbled together from scrap jaeger metal (not officially approved, but no one has to know), Newt finally picks up his phone and checks the time. He bolts upright immediately. “Uh.” He glances down at Hermann. “Not to kick you out, but I’m gonna need to kick you out.”

Hermann props himself up on his elbows. “Oh?” He says coolly. “Plans this evening?”

“The Halloween party, dude!” Newt exclaims, leaping up out of bed, tossing the covers back so forcefully that they’re flung off Hermann as well. “It’s only like, my favorite holiday out of the whole year.”

With a yawn, Hermann reclines back onto Newt’s mattress and pulls the comforter back over himself. “In July you said Christmas was your favorite holiday,” he says up at the ceiling.

“It was in the heat of the moment,” Newt says, fishing through various piles of clothes—piles he insists are clean but just haven’t been put away yet. “We really do need some kind of mid-year holiday to break things up, you know? Why save all the good stuff for the last three months? Anyway.” Newt retrieves a white tank from one such pile and pulls it on. “I’d invite you to come,” he says as casually as possible. “But there’s a strict costume policy.”

“How gracious of you,” Hermann says, again in that cool tone. “I’m not interested in costumes.”

“Or socializing, or games, or fun. Yeah, I get it.” Newt hops into a pair of tan pants, belting them at record speed. “Now hurry up, will you?”

Hermann groans as he sits upright. His hair is mussed and sticking up at odd ends. Newt swallows down an impulse to run his hands through it one more time, to straighten it, to tuck it in place just the way Hermann likes it.

Instead, he tosses a discarded white shirt from the floor of his quarters, pelting Hermann squarely in the chest. “Here.” He follows up with a deep maroon sweater. “We’re burning daylight.”

---

They step out into the concrete hallway of the Shatterdome and start to walk toward the Mess Hall, the same direction as Hermann’s own quarters.

“You could have given me a bit more time,” Hermann grumbles, fussing with his hair, still sticking up a bit at odd ends. “I look...disheveled.”

“Hey, it’s working for you.” Newt steps in front of Hermann quickly, but continues to walk backward as he holds his arms out wide for display. “How do I look?”

Hermann looks him up and down. After a short pause, he says, “I can’t evaluate your costume until I know who or what you’re supposed to be.”

“John McClane!” Newt falls back to Hermann’s side. “You’ve seen /Die Hard/, right? Tell me you’ve seen Die Hard.”

“I’ve seen Die Hard,” Hermann says, deadpan.

“You’re lying. It’s okay. You’re forgiven. It’s unforgivable. But I forgive you.”

“Gracious of you,” Hermann murmurs with a small smile. He tugs at his sweater collar. “It’s bloody warm.”

“There’s an easy solution for that, Erdos,” Newt quips. “It’s what you get for wearing sub-zero-ready knitwear in a tropical climate.”

Hermann scowls and stops, handing Newt his cane as he proceeds to pull his sweater over his head. He looks down and lets out a groan. “Newton, this is—“

“Dr. Geiszler, Dr. Gottlieb!”

Mako approaches from the other end of the hallway, clad in a long black trench coat—clearly borrowed from someone who was at least a foot taller and broader than her—and thin sunglasses.

“Mako!” Newt waves. “Are you Neo? Dude, did you watch The Matrix? Amazing, right? That is so badass.”

She lifts her sunglasses and smiles broadly. “Keanu Reeves, he’s the best.” She lifts her sunglasses and considers Newt’s attire.

“Dr. Geiszler...Are you...someone whose clothes have been stolen?”

Newt twitches. “I’m John McClane. Die Hard? Don’t worry about it, it’s from before your time.”

Mako shrugs and smiles politely as she turns her attention to Hermann. “Dr. Gottlieb, you are a...Velvet Underground fan?”

“No, Newton is—“

Newt snaps his attention to his left and sees what Hermann had noticed—under his maroon sweater was Newt’s own Velvet Underground t-shirt, the iconic Andy Warhol banana print. Something that Hermann would never wear, on principle.

Hermann is wide-eyed in surprise. “Er, what I meant to say is...” He clears his throat. “That’s, er my costume,” he says simply. “Newton.”

“WHAT?” Newt exclaims reflexively, unable to stop himself. The corner of Hermann’s mouth twitch upwards. His expression is some bizarre distribution of mortified and smug. “I—...Yes.”

“That is cute.” Mako looks back at Newt, mildly disappointed. “I’m surprised you did not come as each other.” Before Newt can protest and explain, she lowers her sunglasses back down, strikes a pose of such genuine intensity that Newt feels momentarily frozen, before breaking out into a smile and gently leading the two of them, each with one hand, into the mess hall.

Tendo, leaning casually on the snack table, greets the two of them as they grab a couple of drinks—beer that had been snuck into the Shatterdome by some brave anonymous individual, he explains. “So,” he says to Newt. “What are you, a discount construction worker?”

Newt flips him off. Tendo laughs and turns to Hermann. “What’s your ‘stume, doc?”

Newt watches Hermann take another drink before responding, “I’m, er. Newt.” He laughs nervously. “It’s a shallow approximation—“

“Don’t sweat it, doc, no one’s got time to do anything detailed.” Tendo waves his plastic fangs. “You know. More important stuff going on. But—“ he pauses to put the fangs in. “You’ll also be amazed at how far an impression goes to sell it. I’m sure you’ve got some stories.”

"Well, yes, just the other day...” He glances quickly at Newt. Newt looks back at him and crosses his arms.

Hermann straightens up and starts speaking, more quickly and pitched than usual. “‘OSHA procedures are more guidelines than rules,’” he says, quoting—Newt realizes—something Newt had said the day before. A few near bystanders turn their heads to casually tune in. “‘So by extension, I’m the Captain Barbossa of lab safety.’”

A few scattered laughs. Hermann looks around, shocked, possibly by the getting any sort of reaction and possibly by his own delivery.

“Ha!” A nearby J-Tech officer exclaims. “That is legit.” He turns to someone on his left. “I heard the Marshall chew him out a couple weeks ago for—“

“Hey, asshole.” Newt shoots him a glare. “Shut up.” It’s not intelligent, Newt knows, but it’s enough to make a new officer wince.

Tendo lets out a laugh and claps Hermann on the shoulder. “Good one, doc.” He glances at Newt and smirks before taking a sip from his cup. Newt calls that glance and raises it with a death glare that fully transmits, Don’t you say a fucking word.

The initial bystanders disperse. Newt crosses his arms. “That’s not an impression. That’s just one single thing I said once. Taken way out of context, I might add.”

Hermann starts to silently fish through the candy bowl on the snack table.

Newt leans over to watch. “Lookin’ for something?”

At last, Hermann meticulously plucks a green Jolly Rancher from the bowl. “Green is the best flavor,” he says facetiously, delicately unwrapping it from the plastic. “Never mind that green isn’t a flavor but a color.” He pops it into his mouth and grimaces. “These are so sweet,” he says, returning to his usual tone. “Newton, how on earth do you eat these.

Newt rolls his eyes before taking a green Jolly Rancher out of the bowl for himself. “That green was wasted on you, dude” But when he looks back at Hermann he’s smiling slightly, albeit not looking in his direction.

---

For the next half hour, Newt tries to keep a safe distance from Hermann. He makes lap around the mess hall. One engineer, dressed as a pirate (basic, but effective) calls out, “John McClane!” And Newt makes a show cheering and giving her a high-five that is audible throughout the hall.

But the space is finite, and eventually his path leads him back to Hermann, who’s at the center of a small group of PPDC staff who are amused by his current monologuing. Newt slides up behind them and catches Hermann in mid-sentence.

“—and it’s an album from the point of view of a man who’s wretched, who is confronting his misdoings, his mistreatment of others, his skewed relationship with love, in this operatic way—“

In that moment, it strikes Newt that Hermann may have actually been listening. Through all the monologues, through all the rants. Newt flushes with equal parts embarrassment in the accuracy and another feeling he’s tried to push down for seven years.

“But the thing about Weezer,“ Hermann continues, emphasizing the band with an American emphasis on the -er, “Is that they created two perfect albums, so their next twelve mediocre ones are forgivable—“

“The White Album is not mediocre!” Newt finally exclaims from behind the small group, unable to stop himself. He pushes forward and softly grabs Hermann by the arm. Hermann looks up at him with a raised eyebrow, defiant. Newt turns around at the small group casually listening in. “Yeah, yeah, he’s great—excuse us for a sec, will ya?” Without waiting for a reply, he gently pulls his colleague by the arm to the hallway outside, promptly stepping in close, so Hermann is the only thing between Newt and the wall.

“What the hell, dude?” Newt hisses.

Hermann leans his head back against the concrete wall. “Being you is very easy,” he says scathingly.

With a short laugh, and Newt goes in for the kiss. Rough and agitated, how this sequence of events typically starts out. How things started hours prior in the lab, resulting in the change of location to Newt’s room to tear off one another’s clothes as quickly as possible. He slips a hand under Hermann’s/Newt’s own shirt and slides it up and beside Hermann’s ribcage, pulling him in closer.

“This is a new level of narcissism,” Hermann says breathlessly when Newt pulls away. “Even for you.”

“Says the guy who tastes like green.” Newt smirks. “You think you know me?”

“You are impossible not to know.” Hermann says, lifting his chin.

They lock eyes. Newt searches for some confirmation of something in Hermann’s gaze. There’s a hint, close, just behind his eyes, but it’s just out of reach. Despite his better judgement, Newt slips his hand out from under Hermann’s shirt, lifts it, hesitates momentarily, but proceeds to card it gently through Hermann’s hair, smoothing out the odd ends. From front to back, then around to rest on Hermann’s cheek. Hermann looks at him, wide-eyed.

“Newton,” he says softly.

Newt swallows. “Yeah?”

The faceless drone of the party on the other room extends the silence. They look at one another for a minute. And it strikes Newt that it’s longest either of them has gone in each other’s company without a word.

But as “Monster Mash” comes on the speakers, the mess hall erupts into cheers. The incongruity of it all breaks whatever was there, between them in the hallway. Hermann swallows. “I’ll be returning to my quarters, now,” he says, voice just above a whisper. Newt steps back, giving Hermann the space to collect his cane and step out. He gives Newt one last look, opens his mouth to speak, but closes it. He walks away without another word.

#i'm not funny enough to do this prompt true justice but...[ben wyatt voice] it's about the mutual pining #hermannsthumb #k sci

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fmdtaeyongarchive · 4 years ago

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↬ what scene will you be?

date: early 2017 / january 2020 / august 2020.

location: some random apartment / ash’s home studio.

word count: 1,875 words, not including lyrics.

summary: n/a.

triggers: passing mention of alcohol.

notes: creative claims verification. mentions of youngjoo 🥴 but in the least angsty context yet! some parts in the middle are repurposed from a defunct verification.

early 2017.

the concept of the song first comes to him early in his relationship with youngjoo. there’s something about the beginning of a new relationship that never fails to bring out inspiration for a flood of love songs from the depths of ash’s mind, and youngjoo is the perfect muse for his poetry in the midst of the fluttery, dreamy feeling of their honeymoon phase.

they’re watching a film, a surprise date night planned out by ash that had involved talking a senior friend into letting him have his apartment for a few hours that evening (which, he’d like to note, had been incredibly hard to do when he couldn’t explain why he needed it). he’d set up a projector in the living room and a film he knew she liked and he’d gotten an expert opinion on a good wine pairing for the dinner he’d made.

it’s strange, dating youngjoo, but it has nothing to do with discomfort in his feelings for her. she’s youngjoo. smart, successful, talented, kind, interesting in a way that keeps him captivated from the moment she walks into a room, and gorgeous in a way ash hadn’t been able to ignore even when friendship had been all there was between them. he could listen to her talk for hours about anything in the world, and he wishes he had the time to do just that. she’s every color in the world and ones that haven’t been discovered yet, and he watches her more than he watches the movie.

every time a slight smile curves on her lips, his heart beats faster and he swears goosebumps raise little peaks on his skin.

the greatest film on earth couldn’t possibly compare to an evening spent in youngjoo’s presence. given the chance to own all of the greatest art in history, he’d reject it if he could spend evening upon evening with youngjoo by his side instead.

he loves her.

he hasn’t told her yet. it feels too early, but he knows he does. there’s no other way to describe the elation that fills him at the mere thought of seeing her or the fact that she’s his last thought every night before he tries to sleep.

he writes the chorus in his mind as he sneaks glances at her, and he puts it down onto paper that night after returning to knight’s dorm, a rare smile on his face and the feeling of their kiss goodbye lingering on his lips.

january 2020.

the song had been abandoned in ash’s files after he’d broken up with youngjoo, deemed unlikely to ever be dug out again.

he finds it again on an old hard drive he digs out from a box he still hasn’t unpacked after coming home from another meeting with bc about the singles he’d be releasing throughout the year.

these kinds of meetings with this frequency had only become common in the lead up to fatalism. he hadn’t had so many meetings for daydream, he’s sure, but then again, he’d put a halt to all of those when he’d injured his ankle that year. he can’t quite remember the frequency of meetings for i’m young, but that had been his first album and his first chance to prove himself. by now, bc and the other producers should have more faith in him than they seem to.

they’d talked again about image. sexy had been their plan for fatalism, but it hadn’t been the success they’d wanted and ash is known for his heartbreak ballads after the success of “untitled, 2014”, not to mention “d (half moon)” outcharting anything that could be considered sexy on his last album. it’d be terrible business practice to abandon that entirely for a new image that ash had been pulled into simply because sexy performance soloist is currently a less competitive market than acoustic love song ballad singer-songwriter. there are so many of those, but the performance soloist category is more dominated by female soloists these days, so by growing his image, they could assure ash is able to become a household name instead of just another disposable singer, they’d said. the company wants to bring in the kind of brand ambassador money that comes with standing out instead of blending in. with the way he works day and night at events that drain him of every last ounce of social energy to please brands, ash would think they’d be happy with his current status, but it’s a mistake to think a company can ever be satisfied in their greed. ash doesn’t want to care, but he can’t help but feel a little prideful that they’d apparently been wrong... if he ignores the success “troublemaker” and “now” had had last year.

it’s been a couple of months now since ash had had to fight for his own input for the album concept. some of the tension in the reins has been slackened in response to romanticism not being the smash hit they’d wanted. ash is still struggling to pull himself out of the mindset he’d had to live in for fatalism, though, and it’s rare something entirely fresh comes to him.

this isn’t fresh either, technically. it’s nearly three years old and based on feelings long past, but as he listens to the track, he’s struck with the feeling he’d been onto something and he saves it to the computer in his studio to come back to before checking that his schedule is clear for some time, so he can and hole himself up in his studio with some hope of being able to work uninterrupted.

this isn’t going to be the song he’s supposed to be working on. maybe it could work for his spring single, but that seems far-off now.

he sets to work and the song soon expands its references to a lover as a film he can’t take his eyes off of. he hadn’t latched on to the initial metaphor too deeply when he’d first heard it since the memory that had inspired it is so far in the past now, but the feelings that start to crawl their way out of him so naturally keep the idea from going entirely neglected. more than the lyrics, he focuses on what to do with the instrumental. the original draft had been simple in melody, acoustic and sweet, like a lot of his music had been when he’d only been in the beginnings of creating anything good enough to win bc’s approval. (it’s bitterly funny how that’s a battle he’s still fighting in spite of his style changing so much since then.) now, a more refined composer and producer, ash switches up the style entirely to something more unconventional and syncopated and in a style he’s wanted to try but has never gotten the chance to up until now.

it’s upbeat enough to be make bc happy with the possibility of a more choreographed stage (though, in ash’s opinion, it’d be a good song to stand and sing on stage with only a microphone stand and background projections), but in a way that’s not shoe-horned in for the sake of achieving what anyone else wants. he’s written so much heavy music lately, weighed down by angst or lust or anger or resentment, but this is pure. not pure in the way he would have thought to make it three years ago, but it’s love re-invented, taken from a confessional letter to a musical story of a man he doesn’t entirely identify with anymore.

it’s a project he spreads out over a few weeks, coming back to it whenever he wants to play around with something exciting instead of nailing himself down to another song that’s too much like something he’s made or heard before. as more work comes in with deadlines, at some point in the working process, he abandons it. be it fun to work on or not, he’s a seasoned professional now and it’s more critical to meet deadlines than finish some conceptual track that probably won’t even be used.

august 2020.

months later, ash is more focused on the creation of his next album than anything else. it’s been pushed back once already and every time he tries to make something new, it comes out the same: an alternative r&b track and heartbreak or longing. he’s getting nowhere, so, one day in his studio, he re-opens that “concept track” he’d left to the dust and spiderwebs months earlier. he already knows precisely what he needs from it.

he has a vision for the full song now. it should be the sound of a relationship that’s still passionate and hesitant like early love so often is. a movie that draws in the eye and the ear and the mind from the very beginning, but as it progresses, it turns inward.

if a lover feels like every great film every written, how long can it last before you’re left questioning how that’s something you deserve? if a lover is every color in the world, how do you ever know what their true colors toward you are?

when he’d first begun writing the lyrics, it’d been so hopeful, but he knows now where that hope had led him.

the song isn’t meant to be dark, so he keeps the wonderous tone, letting the worry set in only as the song leads itself out.

what scene will you be? some day, will our story be told by others? who will be the next lead? what if i’m just a cameo? should i just sit in my seat?

all that the song really needs now is some additional production work from him and it could be submitted to be slotted into his new album. it’s different in tone from everything he’s submitted so far, but that could be exactly what the album needs that it’s evidently so direly missing to be truly complete.

he sets to work recording final vocal tracks for the song, or what will be final unless it’s approved and bc sends him in for a cleaner take. he keeps his delivery light and entranced, like he’s whispering to himself out of fear of being overheard. the more he tries to connect to the song, the more he realizes how hard it is to do so without thinking of youngjoo. it’s so uniquely her. or rather, uniquely him when it comes to her. the feeling of someone entrancing him so completely, like someone he isn’t deserving of experiencing, is one that he’s never felt in the exact way the lyrics and music convey with anyone else.

so, he lets himself think of her, of their past and their present and how fleeting any moment in time has ever been between them, if only for the sake of getting a successful recording.

the ending of the song hits a little too strongly when he does that and his delivery becomes more rushed, barely keeping in time with the beat as the questions rush out of his mouth. he takes a break and stops himself from getting too deep into the insecurity he’s trapping himself into needing to access.

he considers changing the end of the song, but he can’t imagine it ending any other way. that’s the story that has to be told and he needs to tell it, even if it all hits closer to home even now than he’d like to admit.

#fmdverification #the number of verifications mentioning youngjoo is getting embarrassing now #this one wasn't even supposed to mention her and look where he ended up #*we #there are at least four more that have to mention her.... it's okay i hate ash too #&& when you're screaming but they only hear you whisper | self para

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beckzorz · 5 years ago

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WORLD ON FIRE (2/12)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader; background skinny!Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter Warnings: Canon-typical violence; language; sexual content. Summary: Brooklyn, 1948. Bucky Barnes, war hero, lives three floors down, and the evenings he comes to watch the sunset with you on the fire escape are the best times in your shabby life. But reality is far uglier than it seems when swinging your legs six floors up with Bucky at your side. On top of a good-for-nothing brother and a poor family upstate, there’s a new mob hitman in town: the Winter Soldier. A/N: Written for @cametobuyplums Fizz’s 2000 Plums Writing Challenge—thanks Fizz! xoxo

2. Wednesday, May 28

Dawn comes too soon for your liking. The birds outside are making their usual early morning racket, and you grumble to yourself as you reach over to close the window. The touch of nighttime chill sends a shiver along your body. You yank your shawl around your shoulders as you wobble over to your galley kitchen and flip on the radio.

Quiet jazz pipes through your little apartment. You hum along as you fry up toast and eggs in the same pan you’ve been using for years. The handle is scuffed, the bottom blackened with use, and you sigh wistfully as you think of the day when you’ll have new things, nicer things. Like your friends, the lucky ones who still spend every Sunday afternoon with you in Prospect Park. Times like this, holed up with your old frying pan, you can’t help but wonder at it. Mary’s a typist for a fancy company in Manhattan; Goldie works for a bank, handling more money than you can imagine. Their pots and pans are shiny, bright enough to catch any man’s eye. Mary’s got a fellow, a nice one with a steady job; Goldie’s always had a string of jaw-dropped admirers at her beck and call. You… You don’t.

Would you even want a slew of suitors? You picture a long line of them, tall and suited and hatted, faces in shadow, and you shudder. No, men with fancy suits and fedoras aren’t your type. Your eyes have always fallen elsewhere. It’s gotten you nowhere, of course, but—well, you’re not so fickle as all that.

Loveless or not, fancy job or not, Mary and Goldie have stuck by you. You adore them for it. Beyond that, you like them. They’re lovely, and it’s nice to listen to them, too—nice to imagine yourself, one day, in their shoes.

And then there’s your brother. You grimace as you plate up your breakfast. Best not to think about him too early in the morning, or you’ll give yourself indigestion.

If nothing else, breakfast is good.

Your eyes drift around your apartment as you chew. You still have to make your bed. There’s a faded paisley tablecloth under your plate, the same one you remember from your faint memory of visiting your aunt with your mother as a toddler. There are still hints of your aunt here and there, but it’s your photo album on the shelf, your favorite books. Here, at least, you’ve made a mark on your own.

—

You slip in the side door to Dr. Simon’s house ten minutes early. His house is one of the nicest in the neighborhood—five stories all to himself. Well, himself and his live-in help.

“Morning, Alice,” you call as you bound down to the basement kitchen.

Alice, fifty-odd and pleasantly wrinkled, glances up from the pile of dishes at the sudsy sink as you burst out from the stairwell, a grin on your face.

“Nice to see you in early for a change,” Alice teases. She nods her head at a plate of warm biscuits. A just reward for a bad night’s sleep.

“Mmm, fank you,” you say around an unladylike chomp. You swallow. “And I’m almost always early!”

“Well, if you say so,” Alice says, laughing. She scrubs at a baking dish—it’s shiny, of course—and quirks her brow at you. “You know someone’s already here?”

“Whaa?!” You nearly spit out your second bite and stare dumbly at the clock. “But—I’m early!”

“It’s that Rogers boy,” Alice says. She shudders. “Poor thing.”

“Rogers boy?” you repeat. “He’s older than me! Don’t tell me I’m a girl.”

“To me, you’re both children,” Alice says. She scrubs harder at the baking dish. “And I can’t help feeling sorry for him. All those ailments, and his poor ma dead near ten years, and him still struggling to scrape along…”

You swallow the last of your biscuit and brush the crumbs off your fingers into the wastebasket. “Golly, Alice, he’s doing alright, isn’t he? Didn’t he meet a girl?”

“Well, but she’s English.”

A roll of your eyes as you pick up the plate to bring to the living-cum-waiting room. “Alright, Alice. See ya later.”

Alice waves goodbye, and you head upstairs. You push the basement door shut with your foot and wander through the dining room, glancing curiously at the curtained glass doors to Dr. Simon’s office. Steve Rogers has always fascinated you, if only because he’s friends with Bucky. Anyone, anything, attached to Bucky Barnes grabs your attention whether you care for it to or not.

You’ve met Steve in passing a few times. He’s always been polite, unassuming until someone did something stupid. You can’t help the twitch in your lips when you think of Steve Rogers, no taller than you and far skinnier, threatening any fool who dared do something he deemed wrong.

Strange, too, to consider how skinny artist Steve Rogers and boxing-champion-turned-war-hero Bucky Barnes grew to be such good friends. You don’t know how they met. Was Steve always so reckless? Was Bucky always so protective? A strange duo, but it seemed to work. At any rate, the few times you’d seen Bucky’s fond exasperation towards Steve, with his big soul and righteous indignation, your heart had melted a little more.

Steve’s low voice filters through the office doors, and you shake your head to clear your thoughts. He’s a patient, not your friend.

Biscuits go on the table in the waiting room, and you glide up the fancy staircase in the foyer as elegantly as you can manage. You settle at your desk in the upstairs office, ankles crossed as you check today’s roster of appointments. Old Ms. Flynn will be in at nine, Mrs. Barnett with her son Teddy around nine-thirty, and so on. Lunch at eleven-thirty; you’ll have to tell Alice to have it ready earlier than usual, but that can wait. First, to type up all of yesterday’s notes for their files.

The day passes in a hazy blur. It’s warm, almost sticky in the office. But there’s a fresh bouquet with lavender on your desk from the front garden, and lunch is delicious, and you get to leave a little early. All in all, a nice Wednesday.

—

… Or not.

When you turn the corner onto your street, you stop short. The woman behind you almost bowls you over, and your surprised gasp catches the attention of the young man sitting on your stoop.

Your brother.

“Sis!”

His babyish face breaks into a sunny grin as he pops to his feet. You sigh and walk over to him, your smile half forced.

“Hi, David.”

David bounds over and wraps you in a too-tight hug.

“I’ve gotta breathe, you goober,” you tell him crossly. You wriggle out of his grip and clutch your purse tightly against your side. “What’re you doing here?”

“Special delivery for my favorite big sister,” David says. “Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

“Fine. Come in, I guess.” You pull out your key and open the door, glancing up and down the street. No one you know, not yet at least.

David whistles as he waits, seemingly oblivious to your obvious discomfort. But after weeks with no word from him, you’ve started to hear things. Things you don’t want to hear, things you wish you could refute.

But you can’t, because you don’t know anything anymore. The sweet eighteen-year old who went off to war came back at twenty with a bad streak. Your baby brother isn’t innocent anymore, whether you know the details or not.

And for the love of god, you really don’t want to know the details.

Five flights up pass in silence, save for his light, cheerful whistle. You’re used to the climb, and David’s never been a whiner. He’s a lot of things, but not that.

You lock the door behind you, glancing around your apartment for anything valuable you’ve left out. Well, not that you have much of value. Everything you do have is all stashed in the usual hiding spots.

Honking from the street has you hurrying to the window. You peer at the empty fire escape and yank the curtains closed.

One deep breath, and then you turn back to David with arms crossed. He’s already sprawled in one of your two rickety chairs, spinning a coin between his fingers. Neat trick, but you’re not impressed. He’s always been good with his hands.

“A delivery, huh?”

He rolls his eyes and pouts. “C’mon, sis, you can put in a little more effort. Aren’t you happy to see me? I came all this way…”

“From where? I don’t even know where you live anymore! Or where you’ve been—”

“Oh, don’t be a worrywart,” he says. “I’m doin’ peachy.” He tugs an envelope out of his pocket, eyes glinting as he holds it up. “And this is for the folks back home. Think you can send it over for me? I never did like the post office.”

The envelope sags a little in his grip. You step closer and take it, eyes widening at the weight. It’s not sealed—you peek inside.

You grip the edge of the table, knees weak. Bills. Twenty dollar bills, a hefty bunch. More than you’ve ever seen in a single place.

“David,” you gasp. “How do you have this?!”

He shrugs.

“David,” you repeat, “how?”

You sink into the other chair, heart hammering. A thousand guesses flash though your head, but you push them all aside as you wait for the truth. The truth, or whatever twisted version of it your brother will tell you.

“Found a good job,” he says. He looks hopeful, earnest, almost like that innocent eighteen-year old who sailed to war. “Ain’tcha proud of me, sis?”

Your heart breaks. You set the envelope aside and grab his hands.

“Oh David, they’ll be so happy. This’ll mean so much to them.”

“Grandma can get her medicine easy as pie,” David says, eyes bright. “And maybe even some good meat for a change.”

You nod, tears pricking at your eyes. You can’t tell him how disappointed you are, not when he’s so darn earnest, so happy to be doing his part to help the folks back home.

After months of nothing from him, you’ll take this, no questions asked. For your family, for those bright eyes, you’ll do it.

—

David teases you over dinner—food you bought, food you cooked—and drops a sloppy kiss on your cheek as he bounds out at twilight. His bright smile never dropped once he’d gotten your approval, and as you watch him go the first half-flight down, you can tell he’s still grinning.

It doesn’t matter that your approval is forced, or that he had to fudge the truth to get it. He’s happy. That’s what matters.

At least, that’s what you tell yourself. You don’t like to think of David as a liar. He’s your brother. You love him. If you don’t know what he is, what he does—well, it’s easier that way. For both of you.

#2000plumswritingchallenge #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky barnes x y/n #winter soldier imagine #becca writes #world on fire

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