#my actual real life sister also died in the dream which was way more tragic than the guy

[flashhwing]

I hate when youre having a dream and your brain makes up a guy and goes “okay you have a strong emotional attachment to this guy” and you’re like okay cool I love this guy I’d do anything for him. and then he fuckin dies

[scott-mccall-the-hot-girl]

theodore raeken: missing persons

( okay so i kinda had an idea ,, and then went through the whole teen wolf timeline to see if it would work ,, so here it is !!

theo’s backstory !! it started off way more messy headcannon format & then it got kinda a real story vibe ,, def thinking about making it an ao3 one shot eventually )

-

TW: very sad & hurt my feelings

don't imagine:

eight year old theo raeken...

who sleeps at his best friend scott mccall's house almost every single night, stiles is almost always there too.

theo and his friends where they all watch movies together until ungodly hours of the morning. stiles loved star wars, theo will never forget that. they had gone as luke, han and chewy for halloween that previous year. melissa went as leia. scott has always been more of a indiana jones fan himself. theo would watch either, anywhere where harrison ford was theo didn't mind being.

in this little trio, who were all raised in the mccall house, where they were given eveything they needed. sometimes when theo thought about her, when he needed to remember the good things in life. he never quite knew how she managed. expecially with scott's dad who floated in and out of the picture.

yet, it always was melissa who gave scott extra lunches to take to school because theo and his sister, who were often forgotten by their parents usually were left to fend for themselves and a fourteen year old girl rarely had the funds or mind to give a growing boy a nutritious lunch. these packed lunches always with the crust off because that's the way theo liked it. melissa always remembered.

theo had three favorite places: scott's bedroom, the corner next to his bed where theo's blow up mattress was. the bridge in which tara and he crossed everyday on their way back to raekens from school. his final place was actually beacon hills elementary.

theo always liked school. theo was good at school. he didn't realize this until mellisa had pointed out an exceptional report card. he didn't think it was much of anything to be proud of.

he liked recognizing big words from english class and novels that would help him when his mom watched jeopardy. she would watch the show every night. sitting in a daze in the raekens dark living room. not paying much mine to the eight year old, until he started blurting out the answers to her favorite show. she beamed at him. he loved his mother's smile, she had the same dimples as tara.

so yeah, when a seventeen year old theo raeken spent months filing the names of anyone ever involved in the mccall pack, current members, deceased and ones that just fell out of beacon hills. he remebered some names.

theo raeken grew up in beacon hills, and beacon hill wasn't to big of a town.

theo rembered issac lahey a quiet boy who had been in his thrid grade class, jackson whittemore who was a grade older than them and everyone knew him because he was was offered a spot on the middle school lacross team, he knew erica reyes who he rembered for her epilepsy and it made him hate himself a little less for being the king of the heart condition, he even remebered names like derek hale- who was in the same grade as tara. theo even rembered the name malia tate as she was small girl who did go to beacon hills elementary, who was always startled and always walked a bit faster than everyone else through the halls. or even lydia martin, a girl stiles had a crush on. she talked to theo a lot, lydia used to call him teddy, he didn't know when it started but he let her do it purely to spite the fact that lydia gave theo a nickname and never bothered to acknowledge stiles.

theo rembered all of them, i mean for years of his life all he had to rely on was his memory to make sure it was real.

though during the line memories turned bitter and he was left with the sour taste of resentment.

so it was weird to think despite it all, that year was one of theo's best. he never felt like he belonged. sure he had scott and stiles before but gaining friendship & being labeled as an "inseparable trio" by the sheriff station deputies, whenever they rang havoc through their office made theo's mouth crack a toothy grin. he felt like he had a family.

that was until the air started getting colder in beacon hills. theo started hearing the voices. though, even so much later in life he never could quite pin point how it started, like his brain couldn't truly decipher what was going on. some of it felt like dream, though the dreams and the thoughts. sometimes they didn't feel like his own and made him so scared he would leave the day feeling nauseous.

though this all came in spurts. his birthday was that november, and that was magical. he spent the weekend with stiles and scott, theo's mom actually made the point to bring the three of them bowling. the boys pitched in on buying theo a big millennium falcon lego set because he was always doing things with his hands, something he picked up not being so most athletic of the bunch. they also got him big poster of han solo just to spite him. he blushed and yelled at them for stupid gifts but they knew by the smile on his face he loved them.

he loved so much because despite the fact that they were poking fun at him ever so lightly, they were good natured and they held thought. they really thought about theo enough to know what he liked. he never had that before.

so the voices started getting louder again around christmas time. it was weird for theo, the happiest time of the year filled him with such excessive dread. it didn't feel right. theo's life changed that month.

then one day scott and stiles get sit down because something tragic happened. tara raeken is dead. the details are fuzzy and they don't really understand how, seeing as these boys are just in fourth grade. they are horrified, it's one of the only other times they've experienced death besides with stiles mom. though claudia stilinksi was sick, sometimes sick people die. learning about tara left a bad taste in their mouth. she was young.

they try and call, bike past is his house. they don't hear from him. they go to her funeral, scott and stiles, high on anxiety attached to their parents just trying to sneak a peak of where their best friends may be. he's gone, that's the conclusion they come to, he's gone. they don't know how it could have happened, they just know that he isn't there. why wouldn't he be there?

they try and talk to the raekens but haunted by their daughters death, they paid less attention to theo than before. they barley give them a straight answer, melissa explains what grief can do to a family and not to blame them but is equally suspicious.

just take a minute to think, while scott and stiles are scared and searching for their best friend, theo raeken, barley nine years old is given a heart transplant. alone in a dark and cold sewer hidden deep under beacon hills, horrified and a failure, that's what the dread doctors tell him. a boy who keeps quiet, does what needs to be done and has to survive. doing absolutely everything he can to be kept around, the second he heals (which theo recognizes is abnormally fast) the doctors are straight out of beacon hills.

the doctors eventually find his parents too, who leave beacon hills, he doesn't exactly know what happened to them. he doesn't everything he can not to think about the possibilities. he hopes he has a chance, survival instincts flourish but the ideal of living isn't quite the same as surviving.

one day, the doctors inform him he has absolutely nothing to go back to, he figured this he just be didn't think they would actually tell him. they never told him much.

they are far away from beacon hills- much farther than he assumed. he has no sister, and his parents are gone.

he is alone, and he is finding out that now, he has one more secret to hide. the poor boy has claw and fangs and often thinks about using them to rip himself apart, i mean he deserves it right? he just watched his sister die, to go down with the last living part of her, his own heart.

while theo is expecting his fate, stiles and scott and stuck in months of confusion. missing posters of the boys face are strung up everywhere they can reach, once his parents are gone. they know they need to do everything they can.

mellisa feels like she's been punched in the gut, so she helps her boys. she calls every hospital in the county, and then she starts reaching out to some of the bigger hospitals in the state. spreading word of a missing nine year old like wildfire. she spends nights after her shift arguing with noah stilinksi, he has been looking to. he tries to bargain logic with her.

"yeah it's strange he never said goodbye, he wasnt at the funeral- it's weird, yes, but his parents left too. their daughter just died melissa. maybe they didn't want to stay."

melissa knows, yeah that makes sense. theo had to of just moved with the raekens but something about it doesn't feel like it makes sense.

he would have said goodbye to her. she knows it.

other people in beacon hills were actually thinking the same thing, something wasn’t quite making sense.

those other people being some who can sense unrest in supernatural frequencies. a family who makes it their business to monitor the supernatural. the hales.

though, talia hales supernatural concerns didn't often revolve around fourteen year old girls who drown, shes curious. the girl, was in dereks grade. the mother in her falters but it doesn't get strange until the police reports reveal the fact that the girls heart was gone, she was found. gaping chest wound, lying in the river.

so she starts to suspect somethings wrong. she's seen the raekens case, something about it doesn't make sense. sure, the death of a teenage girl is overwhelmingly tragic but there isn't much to investigate. though talk of the raekens is getting loud, she comes to find out this is because of the raekens youngest, who was nowhere to be seen days before the funeral.

she knows the hunters are back in beacon hills. so wonders if the two correlate. so she starts asking questions.

talia, with her daughter in tow see two boys standing outside the sheriffs station, stopping people when they walk in to show they a poster. it's theo raekens missing poster, though there isn't much official about it. it seems like the sheriffs department couldn't issue anything official, so as she walks up to the boys seemed to have made dozens of copies themselves. there information seems formal enough.

she catches their anxiety heighten as talia hands the poster over to laura who stands behind her.

the taller one raises a brow, "have you seen him anywhere miss?"

she smiles, "miss hale- you can call me talia though. this is my daughter laura. we haven't seen your friend but we'd like to help..."

the taller boy nods, "well, i'm scott. that's stiles. how could you help?"

talia hale lies easily, "i've heard about what happened to the raekens and it sparked my concern. i have a friend, local sheriffs station who is awfully good with the police dogs. if you have anything that your friend owned i might be able to call i'm a favor."

a few days later, stiles had found her in the same spot as last time with a small black sweater. she smiled and told him she would do her best to help these two boys. not sure if her intrest in the case was supernatural based or because she didn't want these boys, who smelled like anxiety and exhaustion to fall down the hole of loss themselves. she wasn't sure where investigating theo’s disappearance themselves would leave them, she didn't want them getting caught up in the supernatural spiderweb of beacon hills.

though, talia hale looses scent and momentum on the case. literally and metaphorically. she finds herself near some suspicious tunnels, leading right under beacon hills but scent falls short. she's frustrated, and the time since his disappearance is lengthening but her families needs become increasingly concerning.

she's listens, she likes to know what's going on. so when she hears her sixteen year old whispering a bit more with her kid brother she raises suspicion. she doesn't trust peter like she used to, not after getting involved with the desert wolf.

paige dies months after that, dereks heartbroken and talia is trying to put together pieces of a story that turned her babies eyes blue. to young. beacon hills doesn't quite understand how another student is dead, with no previous medical history. this, the death of paige she knows is supernatural.

kate argent moves to town and in months, the hale house is burned to the ground. inside, theo raekens black sweater. tucked away in a room, where news clippings and missing posters caught fire the fastest.

so with no surprise, another tragedy is unleashed and it's the talk of the town. memory of theo starts to fade, like most things do in beacon hills. it's not anybodies fault but it still stings. though, theo million miles away hasn't felt much of anything latley.

it's been a little over a year. he hasn't cried in the past three months. he won't let himself. nobody is going to find him. he isn't going to het out. so he puts up his walls, as many as he can. he just has to stay alive a little bit longer. make something worth taras sacrifice. they had started to kill off more of the chimeras, more of their science experiments. he can't get killed, he can't do that to tara.

theo was always a fast learner. theo always liked school. theo was good at school. this wasnt exactly the same as math class at beacon hills elementary but he was picking up skills quickly. theo didn't quite recognize himself after that year. he wasn't that same boy, and that had to suite him just fine. he never had much of a choice in this. he just chose to try and keep her heart beating for as long as he could.

so theo raeken adjusted, he had to.

[devnicolee]

Into the Light (1)

Warnings: none yet! 

Summary: Wesley Parker is a smart, political genius with years of policy experience. After working at the Wakandan Outreach Center in Oakland for over a year, Erik Stevens, Wesley’s longtime friend, offers her the opportunity of a lifetime: move to Wakanda and serve as an international policy advisor to King T’Challa alongside him. For reasons even Erik doesn’t know, she jumps at the chance and immediately leaves her Oakland life behind for a new one in the elusive, secretive nation. Like her friend Erik, she is a recluse and a loner, determined to focus on rebuilding her life and keeping her secrets her own. However, when she meets a certain Mountain king, she realizes that her life in the darkness doesn’t always have to be so. But is stepping into her light that easy? Or will the fear of trusting others keep her stuck? 

Word count: 4,509

Enjoy!

***

Wesley took a tentative step down the ramp of the Royal Talon, the smoldering African heat immediately hitting her in the face. 

“Parker!”

Her face immediately lit up when she saw him, standing separate from the rest of the Royal Family. She hadn’t expected all of them to be waiting to greet her. 

“Stevens.” 

It came out as almost a quiet sigh of relief instead of the upbeat, jovial tone she usually had. After days on edge, the reality of seeing him, stepping her feet on Wakandan soil was like stepping under the warmth of a thousand suns. She couldn’t even hide how relieved she was. It certainly felt better than her impromptu move back to Oakland a year ago. She quickly fixed her face to mask her relief and put on a neutral smile, more of an expression he would expect. 

As soon as she was in arm’s length, his strong arms wrapped around her midsection to pull her into a tight hug. She hesitated for a moment, surprised at his greeting, before her arms rested on his broad shoulders to return it. Even after rekindling their friendship over the past year, she still wasn’t used to this new version of him. He was more inviting… more warm than he used to be. Wakanda had changed him, just not in the ways he originally intended. 

He pulled back, eyeing her up and down as if she had managed to acquire some injury in the last week without his watchful eye. 

“You good?”

“Yea, the flight was great… you know, I just slept through most of it.” 

Her eyes tried to take in everything: the silent planes whizzing above her head, the guards lining the landing pad around them, the grandiose palace towering above them, the sounds of bustling city streets outside the palace gates. Wesley had done a decent bit of traveling in her time and this was truly unlike any city she had ever seen. 

“Aight. Good, good. Come inside, sis… get you situated.” 

After a quick introduction to the Queen Mother and hellos to the rest of the family, all of whom she had met and worked with at the Outreach Center, Erik ushered her inside to show her the room she would be staying in. She knew the accommodations were only temporary, until she got settled and could find her own place. But she certainly was not complaining. 

She tried to listen to Shuri as she rattled off information about the different areas of the Palace, what her new bracelet did. But Wesley knew she would retain none of it. She was too excited, too anxious, too nervous.  

Her professors and old colleagues called her a budding prodigy. Everyone knew Wesley Parker was going places. But she knew what they all also called her now: a waste of talent. After graduating from Harvard, she spent years working her way from government office to government office, trying to work her way up to the upper echelons of the political sphere. She was poised to be a leading voice in foreign policy, one of the few young Black women in the field. And then, over two years ago, Wesley just walked away. From her cushy life in D.C., her high-paying position, a new job offer with the U.N. She abandoned her dream, leaving it stranded in the road for an unexpected detour. And she always looked back, always wished she could get back there. 

And here she was, as she walked down the opulent halls of this palace tucked away in Africa. This was the break in the trees illuminating her path back to her dream. This was her chance, her shot to rebuild what she lost… and this was the only place in the world she could do it. She couldn’t mess it up. She wouldn’t. 

****

“You like it?” 

Wesley laughed, rolling her eyes, “Yea nigga… this is bigger than my whole apartment.” 

Her feet sunk into soft taupe carpet blanketing her bedroom floor. She shuffled her feet, feeling the plushness between her toes. She flopped down on her bed, which felt sinfully good and soft. She propped herself up on her forearms to look at Erik, who looked amused by her childish antics. 

“Good. How you feeling?” 

Wesley sighed, rolling her eyes as she pushed herself back to her feet. The question was vague, as many from Erik were, but she knew exactly what he was referring to. She walked toward him, arms folded in annoyance at his overprotective and overbearing nature. 

“Stevens… you gotta stop asking me that. I am fine. That was, what? A week ago? I’ve been through worse, I’ve seen worse. I am good - I’ve moved on.” Her beautiful face scrunched up in a frown, “I am honestly sorry I even brought you into all that. It’s not a big deal.”

His eyes widened slightly, “The fuck? Wes. That was a big fucking deal. And lying to me about it don’t change that. You need to talk someone… you need to talk about it. And you need to tell me what ha-” 

“Erik. I am begging you… drop this. Leave it alone. Please.” 

She knew he could hear the exasperation in her words, the pleads. She didn’t like thinking about it, one of the many things from her past she flew halfway around the world to escape. The thin fraying ropes holding her up were starting to unravel again, and it took all her power not to collapse, fall right here in front of him. 

He nodded, raising his hands in surrender, knowing that she was serious if she chose to use his first name. 

“Fine. I’ll let you keep your secrets… for now. We all got ‘em. When you’re ready, I’m here. You know, I’d kill for you. I gotchu always, Wes.” 

And that’s the problem. 

“I know… you’ve killed for less.” 

Wesley was one of the few people, outside of his new family, that knew about his past, knew the road littered with blood and bodies he traveled to reach his paradise… his home. 

After her parents died in a tragic accident, 15-year-old Wesley was sent from her home in Charlotte to live with her aging grandmother who had little time or interest in raising a rambunctious teenager. However, she did have time for her friends, Ms. Louise and Mr. Franklin, the old couple in their building who had been fostering a 17-year-old boy, Erik. 

She and Erik became fast friends, developing a close brother/sister bond. Already exhibiting a penchant for violence, Erik was a good friend to have around as a young girl. He was always there to fight for her, protect her. Even when he left for MIT, everyone in the neighborhood knew she was the wrong girl to mess with. 

He looked after her when she joined him in Cambridge during his last two years at MIT. Harvard and MIT were demanding for the pair but they still spent as much time together as they could, studying their respective disciplines. As she kept her nose to the ground and worked on the Hill in D.C. after graduating and Erik started his career in the Navy, they still remained close, talking or seeing each other anytime Erik was available. For every high and every low, Erik was the one constant in her life. 

However, when Erik decided to fall deeper into the life of espionage and violence, the calls came less frequently and, eventually, stopped all together. And there was no one to call, no one to check in with to see if he was ok. And so, Wesley lost the remaining family she had in this world, the only family she thought she would ever have. 

When their paths fatefully crossed 12 months ago outside a black-owned coffee shop near the Center, both thought they had seen a ghost. They hardly recognized each other, mere shadows of the teenagers that ran through the streets together. Part of her wanted to be angry with him, but she couldn’t. One brief conversation reminded her what it was like to have family… someone who cared. And she jumped at the opportunity to have him back in her life - with the promise that he would never leave her again. And it was clear how much his life had changed. He had found home and safety while she was still fumbling in the dark, desperately searching for both. 

It didn’t take long for him to “convince” her to take a position as a consultant at the Outreach Center, lending her policy experience to help them bridge the gap between them and local policymakers in the state. It was better than what she was doing before, preparing to apply to a bookstore to pay her bills.

“Fair enough. See you for dinner? I’ll come by and scoop you… you’ll be lost in this place for days tryin’ find it yourself.” 

“Yea, yea. That’s cool. Thanks. See you then.” 

Wesley chewed her bottom lip as she watched his back retreat out her door. She hated how overprotective he was… how much he actually cared. Most people heard “I am fine,” and accept it as fact. Not Erik… he wanted the truth. 

She flopped back down on the bed, this time out of frustration and guilt, not childlike amusement. Her hand covered her face as tears stung the back of her eyes. 

“You are not fine,” she whispered out loud. But she couldn’t bring herself to tell him that… or the real reason why. 

****

“Does this look ok?” She smoothed the front of her dress. 

Erik told her dinner was casual and she tried to follow that but she also refused to look like an idiot in front of the Royal Family. This was casual enough but still stylish and cute. And purple, paired with gold jewelry, as Erik told her those were the colors of the Panther Tribe. While her relationships with Erik, Shuri, and Nakia extended beyond professional pleasantries, she could not say the same about King T’Challa, who she had only really spoken to a handful of times. She couldn’t show up to dinner looking any type of way. 

“Yea… I told you it was casual tho?” 

And he looked casual and comfy, sporting a pair of black joggers and a t-shirt. 

“This is as casual as I am gonna get. Some of us aren’t royalty, Stevens… Or should I call you Prince N’Jadaka?” 

He rolled his eyes.

“Nah you shouldn’t if you wanna know where dinner is.” 

“Stevens or Erik, it is,” she vowed quickly, not wanting to smart mouth her way out of a meal. 

“The tribal leader of Jabariland gon’ join us to by the way. Name’s M’Baku.” 

Wesley tilted her head, racking her brain for the bit of knowledge about Wakanda she learned from Shuri, Erik, and Nakia during their long sessions at the outreach center.  

“Jabariland, Jabariland… Jabari… Oh, that’s the group in the mountains right? Gorilla god, snow, just started talking to y’all again like last week?” 

“Tribe,” he corrected. “But yea, that’s the one. He is cool people tho. The only council member I like.” 

Wesley didn’t really understand why she was so nervous. After a year helping them launch the Outreach Center, she was, at least, friendly with everyone at varying degrees. But here? She was a stranger, feeling an intense desire to prove herself and fit in.

“Ms. Parker!” T’Challa stood as she entered the dining hall. It was set for seven, four of the people already seated and waiting. 

“King T’Challa,” she rose her arms in the X she had seen others do around him for a year. He smiled brightly, an encouraging sign on her end. “And you can just call me Wesley or Wes.” 

“Of course, of course. And just T’Challa will do as well. Please sit. We are just waiting on Lord M’Baku.” He gestured toward one of three empty seats available, the one with a mysterious small gift box sitting on the chair. 

“You all did not need to get me anything,” she muttered as she picked up the box. It felt heavy as she fiddled with the edge of the wrapping paper. 

“Nonsense. We are so excited to have you here. N’Jadaka and Nakia believe you will be a great asset as we determine how to situate ourselves on the world stage and I concur. This is just a token of our appreciation for your willingness to join us here and we hope it makes your job a bit easier.” 

“Thank you. And believe me, I am so appreciative of the opportunity.” She prayed no one could see the light tremble in her hands as she started to tear the paper off. However, before she could, the double doors to the hall burst open. 

“Apologies for my tardiness, my king! Issue in the mountains.” 

Wesley looked up to find a giant walking toward her, that was the only way she could think to describe him. She almost wondered if he was an enhanced person, like T’Challa. For she had never seen a “regular” man quite his size. 

You’ve never seen a man as gorgeous as him either. 

If she could have, she would have rolled her eyes at herself. It was true, he was a sight to behold. He entered the room with an aura of power and strength that would have, once upon a time, had her lusting after him. But that was hardly what she was there for. 

“No worries, M’Baku. We were just welcoming our guest, Wesley Parker. This is Lord M’Baku, tribal leader of the Jabari.” 

Wesley smiled brightly, offering him a polite wave. Her smile wilted slightly under his unreadable gaze. She watched as his eyes traveled up and down her frame, lingering on her for a few moments before he seemed to catch himself and the awkward silence filling the room.

“The American… Welcome to Wakanda, Ms. Parker.” 

Wesley bristled slightly at his words as if being called an American was an insult to her, and in many ways - it was. She turned her head to her right where Erik sat, rolling her eyes and mouthing “the American?” sharing her disdain with the only person in the room who would understand. To which he just chuckled lowly and shook his head. She fixed her face to hide her annoyance before turning back toward him as he sat down in the seat left of her. She supposed she should ready herself for that reaction.

“Uh.. thanks? I guess.” Her voice trailed off a bit as she spoke. Turning her attention back to the half opened gift sitting in her lap, she ripped the rest of the wrapping paper off. 

She gasped as she pulled a shiny, state-of-the-art tablet out of a box. 

“Oh… I can’t accept this! Thank you but I can’t.” 

It was sleek and beautiful, she had seen them all with it over the last year. And she knew no amount of money would afford her something as high tech as this. But she didn’t feel right accepting it.  

“Really, it is nothing.” Shuri waved her hand dismissively, completely ignoring the woman’s protests. “And it will work better with our tech here. It syncs to your beads, the easiest file transfers you have ever seen. You will love it.” 

“It’s a losing battle, Parker. Just say thank you,” Erik whispered out of the corner of his mouth. 

“Thank you,” she responded meekly. 

T’Challa motioned for a servant to take it from the dinner table, letting Wesley know it would be brought to her room. 

“Thank you! It’s too much, really. But I appreciate it. I am sure it will work better than mine.” She thought back to the broken and beaten iPad tucked in her bag, the screen partially shattered and many years past its prime. 

Small conversations commenced throughout the group as Wesley sat watching. Shuri and M’Baku were engaging in a lively debate about the merits of vibranium vs. Jabari wood? Whatever that was. Hushed whispers past between T’Challa and Nakia on the other end of the table. And Erik listened, albeit reluctantly given the look on his face, to the Queen Mother chastise him for missing yet another council meeting.  

Wesley sat, eating her second course of only God knew how many, just listening to all of them laugh, bicker, and poke fun at each other. 

This is nice, Wesley thought. She knew they weren’t her family. But even being in their presence lifted her spirits more than she could have known. More than sad for what she didn’t have, she was filled with joy for what Erik found. She was curious how they found a way to accept him, forgive him… love him after all he did. But she was glad they had. He deserved it. He deserved happiness after losing so much for so long.

And you don’t. 

She shook her head lightly, as if she could shake the negative orator out of her mind. But she knew she couldn’t. That voice was always there, always reminding her to never get attached. Everyone leaves, everyone hurts you. Because nobody wanted her. 

“Wes. Wes!” 

At the sound of her name, Wesley pulled herself out of her thoughts, directing her attention at Shuri. It was clear the young girl had tried and failed to get her attention multiple times. 

“S-sorry, princess. I-I got lost in my own thoughts there. What did you say?” 

“No problem. I just asked how the date with Jason went?”

Wesley blinked a few times in confusion before it hit her. Fuck. Jason was a gorgeous and accomplished volunteer at the Outreach Center who taught engineering to the students with Shuri. He had his eye on Wes since the day she literally ran into him in the staff lounge but Wes never really paid him much attention. Shuri had tried incessantly to play matchmaker with the pair. Wesley had almost forgot she lied and told Shuri she had agreed to go on a date with him. She had no intention of doing such a thing; she just didn’t want to be asked about it again. 

“O-oh we ended up not being able to get it scheduled before I moved. Y-you know, it all happened so suddenly.” 

Shuri seemed crestfallen for a moment but immediately perked up. 

“Oh, well good thing there are soooooo many eligible men here. And cute too! Nakia and I will find you someone, don’t worry.” 

She wasn’t worried or interested. But she appreciated Shuri’s enthusiasm and good intentions so she just nodded and smiled. 

“It must have been hard, moving away from home so quickly,” the Queen Mother interjected, thankfully moving the conversation away from Wesley’s nonexistent love life. “We were surprised you wanted to move so soon.” 

“I-I hadn’t been in Oakland long. Just a year so I hadn’t put down too many roots. Wasn’t too difficult to make the move.” 

“Still, your friends and family. It must have been hard to say goodbye so fast?” Shuri asked. 

“Yes, it was.”

She picked up her wine glass, taking a long sip, which confirmed the finality in her clipped and short response. This conversation was over. 

Everyone returned to their separate conversations and their food. Awkwardness slowly seeping into her as she questioned whether she should have just lied to keep the conversation going and be polite. 

“Do not feel awkward. Shuri and the tribal leaders in Jabariland have been trying to play matchmaker with me for the last year. I just ignore them.” 

Wesley laughed, directing her attention to the owner of that deep baritone voice. “And they haven’t caught on yet?”  

M’Baku brought his glass of wine to his lips. “Of course, not.” 

“Well, I could use some of your tips then. The Princess is quite persistent. But I suppose that is what makes her the genius she is,” Wesley mused. 

“Happy to share my insights anytime.” 

“You live in the mountains, right? I didn’t even know it could snow here.” 

M’Baku smirked, “I imagine there is quite a lot you do not know about Wakanda yet.” 

Wesley took the bait, he was not wrong. There was so much she didn’t know about this country she was now meant to help lead. 

“Well, tell me something about Wakanda you think I should know.” 

And his answer to that question carried them through the main course and on to dessert. She mostly listened as he talked about his home, Jabariland, and the people there. It was very surface level, but it made her want to learn more, as much as she could. He explained the differences between the Jabari and the rest of the country. As he spoke, Wesley felt at ease for the first time since she sat down at the table, felt glimmer of her old eager and passionate self peaking through the thick walls she had stacked up. Talking to him felt like talking to an old friend, someone she had known all her life. 

“So you come down here often?” 

“A few times a month. T’Challa and N’Jadaka lean on my counsel often.” 

Wesley nodded, “So we will be seeing quite a lot of each other then, I suppose?” 

“Oh, I am counting on that.” 

The flirtatious tone in his voice was not lost on Wesley, even if no one else at the table was paying them any attention. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, seeing him wink at her before smiling. If her deep, warm brown skin could, her cheeks would have turned a rosy pink. There was a lot about this face that was gorgeous beyond belief. But his smile drew her eye, pulled her in. She could tell he frowned a lot, his resting face throughout dinner had looked generally disgruntled. However, his smile lit his whole face up, made him look even more beautiful - as if that were possible - and more youthful.

“All, I must retire for the evening. Attend to some tribal business. I will see you all in the Council meeting in the morning. My king.”

He saluted T’Challa who returned it and offered him a head nod. He offered Wesley a lingering glance and and a small smile before leaving.

What the fuck was that? She imagined he did that with a lot of women. Harmless flirting that meant nothing at the end of the day. She knew a man like that would never go for someone like her. 

“U-uh I should head to bed as well. I have quite a bit of reading I wanted to do before bed, actually. Thank you for dinner. It was amazing.” Wesley wiped the corners of her mouth before folding her napkin and placing it by her dirty plate. 

“Let me walk you,” Nakia offered. “I am headed in that direction anyway. T’Challa and Erik have some business to discuss.” 

A sense of longing washed over Wesley as she watched the intimate, subtle touches that passed between the pair as T’Challa kissed her hand and squeezed it before letting her go. Once again, she shook her head, internally stamping down the emotions that did not serve her cause. 

She offered them all thanks again and said good night before following Nakia. There was silence for the first minute or two as the events of dinner tumbled through her head. 

Was he actually flirting with me? 

Does it really matter? She debated with herself. Even if he was, which seemed highly unlikely, there were about 1,000 reasons she couldn’t pursue him. Wesley pushed that aside quickly, deciding that he was simply a flirt and she was simply a fool so starved for love that she would fall for his flirtatious nature so easily. 

And then that awkward moment with Shuri and the Queen Mother. Wesley hated questions about her personal life. Not because she found them intrusive, but because she did not have the standard cookie cutter answers people actually expected when they asked those questions. She couldn’t tell the truth and all that left her with was lies and she had enough lies… enough secrets for one person. 

“I can almost hear you overthinking, Wesley.” 

Nakia broke their silence, stopping in front of a large bay window that looked out into the palace gardens. The moonlight illuminated Nakia’s face, which carried a concerned expression on it. 

“Dinner went well. Everyone is excited to have you here, truly. Don’t stress over tomorrow. The Council will like you.” 

The tension building in her chest dissipated almost immediately, thankful that this was the path the conversation was taking. 

“Y-yea I’m sure you’re right. I’m good, really. Just need to get some of the nervous energy out I guess.” 

Nakia nodded before turning to resume their trek back to her quarters. More turns and long hallways than Wesley could count later, they were standing outside her bedroom. 

“You and M’Baku seemed to have hit it off.” Nakia’s face was filled with interest and excitement. “And that is saying something… there are few in Wakanda as cold as Lord M’Baku. Pun intended.” 

Wesley chuckled, tucking a stray black hair behind her ear. Her small frame leaned against her closed, deep mahogany doors as they talked. 

“He was nice! Well… everyone here is nice. But I am sure he is like that with all the ladies, just a charmer.” 

“Oh I can assure you, he is not. He likes you.” 

Wesley’s face must have been a lens into her inner skepticism for Nakia immediately started to laugh. 

“I am serious!” 

Wesley’s hand fumbled for the door knob, slowly opening it before saying, “I doubt it but it doesn’t really matter. I am here to work, I don’t have time for much else.” 

Nakia tilted her head, almost examining her. She imagined it was from all the spy training but Nakia was almost impossible to read, which frustrated Wesley to no end. Half of being good at politics was simply being able to read people. Nakia always made her question that skill. 

“I find that people only make drastic moves like you have for two reasons. They want to start over or they are running from something. I don’t know which one brought you here, Wesley. But you won’t find your escape or new start behind a mountain of paperwork. It is out there.” Her hand pointed behind her at the stained window across across from her door. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I am saying is that Wakanda is more than its political agenda. Wakanda is its people, its culture. To succeed here,” she gestured around her, “You have to know what’s out there. You have to experience what is out there. You have to live, Wesley.” 

Silence. 

“Just something to think about. Good night, Wesley.” 

***

Tag list: @muse-of-mbaku​ @allinhishands​ @ms-reader​

A/N: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #434

“i hate this town, it’s so washed up, & all my friends don’t give a fuck  /  they’ll tell me that it’s just bad luck, when will i find where i fit in?”

You get a text from your ex. He/she wants to hang out. How do you respond? Admittedly, I would. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you secretly want to be more than friends with? No. Well, there are times where I think I WANT to like-like Girt, but I just don't. And yet he's always been there for me without fail, is super funny and kind and chill... but I think we were just friends for too long; he feels like my brother by this point in time. If your partner smoked, would that be a problem for you? If it was cigarettes, yes. Even weed (UNLESS it was for medicinal purposes and not a constant thing) I'd be iffy about. I just don't want to date a smoker. Lung damage is lung damage and weed actually has more carcinogens, and I don't want to sign myself up for all that. I don't want to watch my partner wither away from nonstop smoking and also have myself suffer from second-hand smoking. When will you next see your best friend? There's no telling. Right now I'm trying to be realistic and responsible with the money I DO ever get and put it towards more important investments, but I really do want to take a plane up there at some point. But that's also waiting until Covid is in the past. Heeeell no would I be stepping into an airport right now, even being vaccinated. How many tattoos would you like to have? Too many to count, ha ha. I want LOADS. Paint me, baby. :') Do you like your first name? I actually do. Have you ever talked to a boyfriend about an ex-boyfriend? Yes. It's kind of inevitable when you go into a new relationship, hoping it'll go well and be seriously invested, that you let your partner know "oh hey, this happened and seriously affected me to where I'm going to have 'my days.'" Greatest birthday gift you ever got? My snake Venus was technically a birthday present, though I obviously picked her out. Worst memory you have? Losing Jason. I can't say enough that the night of the breakup still doesn't feel real. First memory you can remember? My brother going down our slide into the Hurricane Floyd flood in our front yard, ha ha. I was around two, I wanna say? I don't feel like looking up the date of the hurricane. Oldest object you own? When did you get it? I'm sure that would be a stuffed animal we have stored away somewhere. Or my baby blanket, also safely tucked away. Meanest person you know? Why do you feel this way? I don't "know" Colleen anymore, but God knows she fit the bill. She was so fucking rude to people (yes, she was one of those people that bitched out store employees that have no control over things that inconvenienced her), the world revolved around her problems, she started drama with the damn grass... It's funny even picturing how she was my best friend once. My standards were lower for who I could befriend back then, but goddamn. Ever been dumped? By who? Yes, Jason. Technically Sara as well, but "dumped" seems like an unfitting term? Like we just talked it out and sorta mutually agreed that it was wiser that we weren't together at the time. Have you ever dumped someone? Why? Yes, mostly because I didn't like-like them. Juan was more so because I believed a rumor by Rachel, and Tyler, I just wasn't invested in and had NO desire to put up with the "we need to talk every five minutes" crap. Where do you buy most of your food? Wal-Mart. Last house you have been to: whose was it, and why were you there? My sister's, for my nephew's birthday party. Have you ever been a drunk driver? No, and fuck you if you've ever put others (and yourself) at risk like that. One kid you cannot stand? None that I know, and that's very few. Has anyone ever saved your life? Jason and Mom literally have. Last thing you cried about? Ha ha, I finished watching another SOMA playthrough earlier, and I will ALWAYS start to cry at the end. Without fail. Would you sacrifice your life for someone else's baby? I honestly think I would if it was a split-second decision. Tell me about your latest dream: I think my APAP mask wasn't positioned well last night, because I had a SHITLOAD of nightmares. Too many to even remember. Have you ever been in a limo? No. I've always wanted to experience that once, man. Have you ever been the maid of honor in a wedding party? No. Has anyone ever seen you naked? I was born naked, my man. Mom used to give my sister and I baths together, and I took a bath with a best friend once as a kid. Then one other person has. Do you have a calendar? If so, what is the theme of it? Not a current one, no. Nicest thing you have ever done for a complete stranger: I have no idea. Meanest thing you have ever done to a complete stranger: *shrug* Have you ever been sent to the principal's office? If so, why? And how did you feel? Yes, I think because they wanted to ask the reason behind all my morning tardies. I was soooo scared, just being a kid. Person you hope you never run into again: Colleen. Have you ever streaked? Heeeeell no. Why do you hate your ex? I don't hate any of them. What animal did you last pet or hold? Roman, my cat. What color is your hair? It's my natural brunette right now. I want to dye it SO badly. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms? Yeah. Have you ever had to clean a cat box before? Yeah, seeing as I own an indoor cat. Christmas is coming. Who are you buying gifts for? In the hypothetical situation where I had the money, I'd buy things for my parents, my stepmom, my two immediate sisters, Ash's kids, as well as her husband, but only because I'd feel obligated to as he's considered a close member of the family. I'd also totally get something for Sara! When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? SCARED. I get quiet, stutter if I do talk, and possibly cry. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? He was originally the singer of Black Sabbath, but he's been solo for forever now. I prefer him solo, honestly. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Ohhh yes. Mom still does, ha ha. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Nothing really "weird," I think... How long can you be in a car before wanting to get out? It depends on if I have my music or not. If I do, I can last hours, but if not, I don't really like being in the car at all. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora?No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? Creative writing, but I'm fine with both. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? I know OF someone who rescued I want to say a baby bobcat, or something along those lines, but I didn't know that guy personally. I don't think I've ever actually met someone with a truly *strange* pet... The most unique I've seen is probably just a chinchilla. If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? My eyes. I don't like them much, mainly the shape. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I loved the various Oregon Trail games, as well as one I think was called The Amazon Trail 3. Then there was a few dinosaur games I LOVED, and then there were the classic kids' games like the Putt-Putt and Fred the Fish series. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why. I don't even support that show existing. Pajamas with feet: yay or nay? NOOOOOOOO, that is so uncomfortable. What is your opinion on fruitcake? That's an even BIGGER "no." Who did you last dream about? I don't remember. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Yes. .-. I barely remember anything. Which animal can you imitate the best? I dunno? Have you bought any drugs this month? I don't do drugs, so. Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed? Nope, never will. Do you know the Soulja Boy dance? Ha ha, I did as a kid. My then-best friend, younger sister, and I wanted to learn it. I don't remember it now, that's for sure. What is the best ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry's "Phish Food" is GODLY. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? Teddy, my late dog. Do you clean when you’re upset? Hell no, I do the opposite: nothing. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? It stays open. My cat would pitch a fit otherwise. Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug related crash? Yes, actually. It was incredibly tragic; the both of them were high (maybe drunk, idr for sure), and my friend was driving with her best friend in the passenger seat. They crashed, and said friend's best friend died. For YEARS she would share pictures of them together on Facebook, "talking" to her, and it was just so heartbreaking. I doubt she's forgiven herself to this day, but she seems to have mostly moved on the best she could, being married with a daughter now. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I do NOT want one. I don't want some random stranger touching me in ANY way. Do you have a good relationship with your first love? No. We haven't talked in years, so maybe he feels no hatred for me at this point, but I do for myself. I don't hate him at all. Do you feel like you have life figured out? bitch hell no What would you do if you were faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (at your current age)? Was I raped? I'd almost certainly abort because I would be traumatized as FUCK. If it was my own fault, I think I'd go through with the pregnancy, but give the baby up for adoption. There is no way I could raise a kid right now. Or probably ever. Water or Gatorade? I don't like either, really, but I HATE Gatorade. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced twice, and I'm thinking of getting it redone again, but this time use a hoop instead of a stud to keep the damn piercing from falling out and closing in my sleep. Have you ever slapped someone? On the arm as a kid. That doesn't excuse it, though. Who are the pictures of in the room? I have a lot of posters, but no real photographs of anyone. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Dad did a lot of drugs before I was born, but Mom's never touched anything. I think. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? I'd love to live in Canada, if that didn't entail leaving my family. What is your favourite food from your culture? Cheeseburgers, alsdf;alwer Do you know any pick-up lines in a foreign language? No. What degree are you or will you pursue while in college? I've dropped out of college three times. I am never going back to major in anything. I changed my major quite a few times while I was there. Favorite arcade game? I don't really have one. One of my life goals is to go to an arcade that has Silent Hill: The Arcade, though. There are very few throughout the world, and it looks fun. Would other people consider your sense of humor inappropriate? I don't see how. Some inappropriate things can make me laugh, but it's definitely not my favorite form of humor, and I myself don't really make jokes of that sort. Who is your biggest celebrity crush right now? Mark Fischbach. :'') What are they famous for? He's a big YouTuber, aND WILL ALSO BE A MAIN ACTOR IN A SHOW NEXT YEAR. LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I would NOT stand for that bullshit. Do you have any gay family members? I know my mom's... cousin I want to say is gay. Somebody related to her is. Was your first kiss romantic? I feel like it was. What are you most likely to go to jail for? Pirating shit. Well, can you even be locked up for downloading minor shit? Shows what I know. Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship with someone else? Boy, have I. Would you ever get a boob job? When (or if...) I lose all the weight I want, I can almost guarantee a breast lift will be something I'd want. Certain things happen when you lose a shitload of weight alsdkf;alkwe Have you ever tried to break up anyone because you liked one of them? Not intentionally. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? If we're talking THE ex, safe to say I'd be shocked. Did you ever think someone didn’t like you, but come to find out they really did? It's weird, I've felt both ways with Girt? Like there were times I was pretty much 100% certain he liked me, but I'd also be like "nah, no way, he sees me as a sister." Turns out he like-liked me. Are you worried about anything right now? I can't possibly recall the last time I WASN'T worried about something. When you are home alone, do you still close the door when you shower? I don't shower when I'm home alone because I'm afraid of ever fainting and busting my ass again. What noise do you hear? I'm currently listening to "All Signs Point To Lauderdale" by A Day to Remember, and I can also hear my fan going. Do you go online everyday? Pretty much without fail. It'll probably be a cold day in Hell before I willingly don't come online, ha ha.

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Hush Now

I accidentally deleted the request, but anon asked for “Kili saving human Reader who’s usually very brave from something which terrified her a lot.” I changed it up a bit and its story heavy. But here we go!

Kili x Reader

Trigger warning: Mentioned character death

Throughout your life you’ve always had to be strong. 

When your father died, you stayed strong so your mother didn’t have to.

When your mother fell to sickness, you stayed strong so your sister didn’t have to. 

When your sister sold you out for a reward of 200 gold pieces, you stayed strong so she wouldn’t have the satisfaction of knowing that she completely destroyed you.

After you and your sister were left as impoverished orphans, you took to a life of crime to make sure she would always have something to eat. Not just crime, though, for you also sold your services as a mercenary amongst… other things. 

You had learned how to kill at the prime age of 15, and very quickly after that did your skills polish into something that even a grown man would fear if he knew what you were capable of.

You’d done everything for her. You’d sold yourself, your dignity, your innocence of the blade, everything. And after you had no more to give, she tossed you aside for barely enough to last her 6 months. 

The look she gave you that day, that apathetic stare as you were dragged away, shattered your heart into a million pieces, and it wasn’t until later when you’d killed the guards and fled from the city that you actually sat down and cried.

Despite the tragic nature of your past, though, there is no dramatic revenge plot or motivation to hunt her down. There is no desire to make her pay or see her suffer, for you released all of these feelings of contempt years ago.

A part of you wonders from time to time if she knew you would escape. If she, perhaps, sold you out for such a small amount so you would be freed from watching over her and catering to her. That, maybe, if you were to search for her, then she would smile and tell you how much she missed you, how sorry she was for not telling you of her plans. 

You know those are just the fantasies of a foolish girl holding onto the image of a sweet 9 year old, clutching your leg and asking when your next meal will be and telling you how she never wants you to leave her. It’s just your mind clutching onto the past, wanting to smooth over the trauma and pain that you go through thinking of her every day…

Though, in another regard you might also thank her. 

If it weren’t for her treachery, you would’ve never met him. 

After you abandoned your home town and became a full time rouge and sword for hire, you were sought out by a greying old man who claimed to be a wizard named Gandalf. 

He offered you a 15th share in a mountain full of riches and the opportunity to help reunite a king with his castle. 

It all seemed far fetched and kinda ridiculous, but he paid you a handsome amount up front so you agreed. And then it turned out that he wasn’t lying, for not even a week later do you meet this king in a wonderful town called the Shire. 

This Thorin was reluctant to allow you on the quest, but upon the instance and praise of Gandalf, he agreed. 

His youngest nephew, Kili, caught your eye right away. 

He is, not only, rather tall for a dwarf, but he’s quite cute by human’s standards too. Not to mention the fact that he approached you first with a big goofy smile on his face and curiosity in his eyes. 

The two of you got along rather easily, and for the first time since you became a devout mercenary and rouge, you found that you could trust someone. 

Trusting someone other than yourself is not easy, though, and there are many moments in which you doubt that trust when the more paranoid part of your mind whispers how he’ll betray you; but your fondness for this dwarf wins out for you in the end. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry or heard you complain before.” Kili comments suddenly, successfully snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts. 

You look down at him from your horse and raise an eyebrow, “Are you saying you wish to see me cry?”

“N-No, that’s not what I meant at all!” He stutters when you seem to take his words the wrong way, “I only meant to say that you… come across as very impassive and restrained. Like when you got stabbed in the arm, you didn’t so much as utter one ‘ow’." 

He has a point, you realize, but it’s only become so natural for you to keep it all inside that you barely noticed, "I’ll have you know I did cry, it was just very quiet." 

It looks like he doesn’t believe you. 

"Really, it’s true. It hurt horribly, but I waited until Oin was done so my tears wouldn’t bother him.” Saying it out loud makes you feel silly and a little weird, and you wonder why you even told him in the first place. 

“Are you telling me you didn’t cry because it would unnerve our healer?” He asks incredulously, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. 

“Well when you say it like that…” You grumble, unconsciously reaching up to rub where the healing wound is. 

“I don’t mean to judge you, Y/N, I’m only curious.” He adds quickly, having his pony move a bit faster for a moment so he can get a peek at your face. “You seem to be rather fearless, I don’t think even my uncle could intimidate you." 

His words draw a laugh from your lips, and you look down at him with amusement sparkling in your eyes, "Everyone is afraid of something, Kili." 

"Then what are you afraid of?”

An innocent question, but one you don’t much want to answer. 

You force your smile to stay on your face and reply rather slyly, “Nothing other than Dwalin’s smell." 

"I heard that!” Said dwarf grumbles angrily not too far behind you. 

Kili stares at you for a few moments, clearly not believing you but not pressing on it any more. 

Honestly, you have no idea how he does that. He can read you like a book; somehow always knowing when you’re holding something back while also being able to tell what you’re feeling at any moment. 

But for some reason, you don’t really dislike having someone know you so well. 

“We’re going to be at the Misty Mountains soon enough, do you think we’ll get a chance to stop at a town?” You ask suddenly, looking down at him again. 

“Yes, actually. My uncle had this part mapped out with Gandalf.”

Well, that’s a relief. 

—

The group did end up stopping at a town, and let me just say, finally getting a chance to sleep on a soft, warm bed after being condemned to the ground for so long is a glorious experience. 

You slept pretty well that night, and at around 5 in the morning you get up as per usual. 

You’ve always been an early riser, or maybe paranoid sleeper is a better way to describe it. Your body has adapted to less sleep, and it got to the point where you just can’t stay asleep much later than 6 on any given day. 

Anyway, you get up early and decide to browse around the town for anything you may want or need, and for the better part of the next hour while you wait for your friends to awake, you idly wander and enjoy the tranquility of the morning.

Everything is wonderful and calm… until it isn’t.

At first, you thought you had imagined it. 

The sudden flash of a figure in your peripherals, but when you turned there was nothing. And then when you turned a corner, there was a flash of familiar (h/c) hair that whipped past. Your hairs began to stand on end, and you knew right away that you were being watched. 

You thought that perhaps someone saw you and was planning to rob or assault you, but you knew you could take whoever it is if that were the case. 

And then you saw her. 

For real this time, head on with no blur or fuzzy images. 

There she stood in front of you, her expression blank and body frozen in place, her face the exact same as you remember it from all those years ago.

You breathe her name in disbelief, taking a few steps back. It can’t be real, maybe you’re still dreaming? 

“You’re a hard woman to find.” She states softly in that sweet voice you could never forget. 

“Y-You were looking for me?” You stutter with, dare you say, hope, hand falling from your weapon while you look on in shock. 

“I was.” Is her only reply. 

It’s as if your brain has stopped working and you can no longer form a coherent thought or phrase, but you do eventually stammer out, “It’s been so long…" 

She doesn’t reply, and you suddenly feel unnerved. 

"Why were you looking for me?" 

She still says nothing, her gaze burning into you like the sun on a hot summer morning and her face unmoving.

And then she steps forward, but you don’t move and let her get close. 

"I’m going to get a lot more than 200 coins for you, this time.” She whispers, reaching up to press her palm to your face.

You know what she means, but for some reason your feet won’t let you move. It’s as if your feet are glued to the ground and knees locked tight. You continue to stare into her eyes, seeing nothing there like the day she let those guards drag you away. 

Her movements are fast, and before you can even open your mouth her dagger is sticking into your neck. 

-

You sit up with a loud gasp, hand flying to your throat as you frantically look around the room. 

It all floods back to you, and you realize that it was only a dream. That you made it out of the town with your throat intact and never having seen your sister.

That you all faced those god awful goblins and ended up here at some point.

For the first time in your 10 years of isolation, you want to cry.

To scream and break things, to pull out your hair and hurt someone. 

To find her and hurt her for what she did to you all those years ago. 

This line of thinking shocks you to your very core, and you reach up without a second thought and rub your face roughly, willing the thoughts to disappear. 

You haven’t had a dream like this in years, and you have no idea what’s prompted it now. 

When your eyes begin to burn and a lump settles in your throat, you jump to your feet and hurriedly go to another room so you can sort it out away from prying ears and eyes, only your sudden jerking awake alerted someone else to your state of distress. 

Once you’re isolated in another room, you begin to pace back and fourth quickly with you hands tangled in your hair. 

No matter how much you will the tears to evaporate and for your breathing to calm, though, they remain. Very soon do those unshed tears begin to stream down your face in long wet streams, and your breathing becomes more ragged as hyperventilation starts. 

And then you hear someone call your name. 

“Y/N…?" 

Your shoulders stiffen and you resist the urge to turn towards that ever familiar voice, your hands shaking at your sides as you clench them into fists. 

"You shouldn’t be here, Kili.” You say softly, your voice thick with emotion and not as strong as you’d like for it to be. 

There is no response, but you hear him approach carefully. He’s very good at keeping himself quiet, you’ve noticed, but your ears are trained to hear every little thing, so naturally you can hear him quite clearly. 

“Are… you crying?” He asks slowly, now standing right next to you. 

“No.” You deny a bit stronger this time, turning your face away sharply so that he won’t get a peek at your tear stained face. 

Once again there is silence (a much longer stretch of it this time), and for a moment you think he may have even left without you noticing; but when you look back, he’s looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face, 

Right away you reach up and rub at the tear streaks staining your face, and a deep set frown settles on your face, “I’m fine." 

Pain flashes across his face at your assurance of being alright, and if it weren’t for the fact that he could see you, he probably would’ve believed it too. 

"You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?” He asks just as quietly, placing a hand on your arm lightly. 

“…No.” You mumble after some time, sighing heavily as you move away to settle into a pile of hay with your back to the wall and your arms wrapped tightly around yourself like a shield or self hug. 

Kili follows you without hesitation and sits next to you, his leg pressing against yours while you both descend into silence once more. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He offers in that same soft, sweet voice of his, reaching up to rub your arm reassuringly. “You don’t have to." 

For some reason, you actually kind of want to. 

"I told you about my upbringing, didn’t I?” You answer his question with a question and feel no remorse for it. “And of my sister?" 

He nods his head and drops his hand back into his lap, looking up at you with the smallest of smiles on his face. 

"I haven’t really thought about any of that in a while, you see. Not to say that I don’t think of it every day, but I more so mean the feelings I had then, how it felt and all the anger I once had.” You pause and shake your head, “I’m not making any sense." 

"No, I understand. And even if I didn’t, it’s your story to tell, so you tell it how you wish." 

You nod your head at that and continue, "I had a dream…,” you begin with a softer voice this time, your fingers digging into your arms while you huge yourself, “Of my sister. Of her finding me, having fallen onto the same wretched path as I, and killing me. Sticking me in the throat with a knife like a pig being bled out for a feast, telling me that she’ll be awarded much more for me this time around as if I were some sort of merchandise that she was selling.” You spit out the similes like they taste bad in your mouth, and you unconsciously hold yourself tighter as you remember the night terror. 

Long silences are very quickly becoming a trend, for once more the only thing filling the air at the moment is the quiet that wraps around the both of you. 

“That’s why you’re crying?" The dwarf inquires compassionately, looking over at you with a frown of his own and sadness shinning in his eyes. 

"I’m not crying anymore.” You grumble, only to realize that tears have, in fact, begun to shed tears once more. “O-Oh…" 

Before you can reach up and dispel the salty droplets of your sorrows from your eyes, two hands come up to cup the sides of your face while two matching thumbs smooth across your wet cheeks to do it for you. 

This time he wears a small, sympathetic smile, and once he wipes all your tears away he keeps his hands as they are. "I cannot pretend to know what you go through or how that night terror made you feel, but… I do understand. What you’ve had to endure throughout your life has shaped who you are now, and while I would not trade who you are for anything, I do wish that I could do something to ease your pain." 

His fingers continue to smooth along your cheek gently, and you find that you can’t help it when your eyes slide shut and you lean into the warmth of his hands. 

With delicate movements, you reach up and place one of your hands over his, sighing through your nose before opening your eyes again to look at him. 

"Thank you for saying that, Kili.” You breathe with a small smile upturning the corners of your lips.

When you smile his own brightens and he says more joyfully this time, “Of course. And know that I meant every word of it." 

Slowly you slot your hand against his own until you’re holding it, and then it rests between the two of you while you engage in some sort of odd, intimate stare down.

And then you lean forward and press a light kiss against his cheek, brightening when you see his face turn slightly red. 

"I meant that, too.” You reply cheekily, forgetting your sorrows for a moment while you just enjoy the company of this wonderful dwarf. 

“And I mean this.” He shoots back before pecking your lips gently. 

This time it’s your turn to become flustered, but you still smile and allow yourself to laugh. 

“Thank you." 

[corlds-world]

Top 10 Females from my Fandoms

This is all my opinion. It’s also from the fandoms I’m in (which are pretty popular). Your opinion of course will be different from mine. But I like sharing what I think and I like hearing your opinion, too. Also we’re doing ladies first because why not. Also I’m not good at explaining my opinion. So without further ado, here’s my top 10 females. Spoilers!

10. Meg (Supernatural) Meg is definitely my favorite female character from Supernatural. She’s a villain turned anti-hero. Also a demon. And being a recurring demon in Supernatural is a quick way to earn a spot in my favorite characters list. Apologies for Ruby for not making the cut though. Anyway, Meg is tough as hell (no pun intended). She starts by working for her dad, but that’s she’s not working for her dad because she’s a daddy’s girl. She works for her dad so she can get this apocalypse started. Her real loyalties lay with Lucifer. So when Lucifer was sent back to hell, she became a lone wolf. Season 6-8 Meg is my favorite, when she’s a lone wolf against Crowley. And I think the Winchesters have always been a little intimidated by Meg. Only 5′6″ to their 7′ but still has got fire. 

9. Carol Danvers / Captain Marvel (MCU) I couldn’t just leave out the first woman to ever get a solo movie in the MCU. It was a long time waiting, but we still got it. I was pondering for a while between Natasha and Carol. I decided to go with Carol really just because I’m so excited for Phase 4 of the MCU. I’m the kind of girl that looks ahead. Captain Marvel is for sure one of my favorite solo movies in the MCU. Carol was a air force pilot from the 90′s who was told all her life that she couldn’t become a pilot. Like you see in the trailer, she picks herself back up time after time. And then she loses her memory, but she doesn’t lose that fighting spirit. She just has superpowers from the space stone. She knows her rights and her wrongs better than most people. It’s what makes her an amazing superhero. And she literally destroyed a huge spaceship in Endgame. I can’t wait to see what Brie Larson has in store for us because she is not done for sure.

8. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter) I know there’s a lot of controversy with the Harry Potter fandom right now, but I just can’t help but place Luna on this list. She’s an amazing character. As a fellow Ravenclaw, she really showed us what Ravenclaw was all about: wisdom and having an open mind. She knows her spells, too, and does her homework (I think). I think more people would expect Hermione on the list, but she didn’t resonate with me the way Luna did. She’s bullied for thinking differently, which really resonated with me. But she’s got her close friends and that’s all that really matters to her. She was the first character I saw myself in, even if she’s just thinks differently than I do.

7. Eleven (Stranger Things) I really did not want to put Eleven this low. But I really just couldn’t put her higher because the girls above her are just better. However, Eleven is awesome. Truly awesome. We gotta respect the only character in Stranger Things that has superpowers. Nothing holds Eleven down. She escapes from a crazy laboratory and finds her new friends who she will literally do anything to protect. And she was messed up in that lab. But she still knows good from evil. She knew that her friends were not going to screw her over. And when she thought they were going to screw her, she kinda just said no. Like okay. She’s brave and kind and badass and everything I want in a superhero. I she’s a little intimidated by the world around her, but I would have run right back to what I knew if I were her. I think her bravery really shone in the third season. I’m sad about what’s happening to her powers, but I think they’ll find a way to get them back. Even if they don’t, I think Eleven will still prove to be everything she is without them. And just look at her. She’s just so cute. 

6. Hazel Levesque (Riordanverse) I told you this was my list and I think Hazel deserves a spot. I mean, the youngest person on the Argo II, daughter of Pluto, can control the Mist and all the jewels in the earth, and tamed an untameable immortal horse. What more do you want? Yes, yes. I love Annabeth, but I really resonated with Hazel more, mostly because she just seems sweeter than Annabeth. I’m a sweet and shy person. And I love horses. And the 40′s. Speaking of which, a POC in the 40′s in Louisiana? If I ever make a top 10 POC characters, we’ll brush up on that. Anyway, let’s talk about when she died. Did I mention she died? She gave up an eternity of happiness so her mother (who was not good to Hazel) wouldn’t have an eternity of misery. Gotta thank Nico, though, for bringing one of my faves back to life. But when Nico was in trouble, there was nothing that Hazel wouldn’t do to help her brother. And when Hazel learned how to control the Mist in couple of weeks? What a display of power. She’s had a hard life, but she’s come out stronger because of it. 

5. Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games) What? Why is Katniss so low? Mostly because it’s been a while since I’ve read the Hunger Games. I never even finished it. I stopped halfway through Mockingjay. I really like Katniss, though. She’s never had a lot. Let’s just start with the obvious that she takes on the Capital. Like you’re taking on the government? Okay go off. Of course, it’s not for no reason. They’re slaughtering everyone. But let’s just talk about when she’s in the Hunger Games the first time. I don’t think I could start to go into detail about everything that Katniss has done. She’s a badass in summary. She took on people that train for the event. She dropped a... what are they called? *googles hunger games bees* Tracker jackers! She dropped a nest full of tracker jackers on to those stuck-up kids. And Rue. Rue helped. Rue’s the best. She’s not on the list, but still. I love Rue and Katniss’ friendship, even if didn’t last. I’m sorry Rue you had to die if Katniss was to win. Anyway, Peeta got her in sort of a weird romance, but I think Katniss saved Peeta more times than Peeta saved Katniss. I love gender role reversals. Also I’m such a sucker for girls who can shoot a bow.  So, yeah, Katniss gets her spot which is very well earned. 

4. Vanya Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy) The second season recently came out so she’s fresh in my mind. The most powerful sibling in the Academy uses sound to harness energy. And does she do it in style. Yeah, she kind of causes the apocalypse, but that’s not her fault. It’s Luther’s. And Reginald's. Vanya had a rough childhood. She was told all her life that she was ordinary in a house where there where only the extraordinary.  But she powered through it. And wrote a book as revenge. Like Five said, that took guts. She’s such a complicated character. She’s shy and kind. But don’t make her mad. She might stab you. I really couldn’t believe how hard I cheered when she killed Harold. Like it was bad. Also she blew up the moon. Do you want more? She’s dating a farm frau. If I ever make a top 10 canon couples, that’s going on the list. You know, if you can’t go straight, go gay. Also she’s a human bomb. I’m a sucker for human bombs. And memes. 

3. Morgana Pendragon (Merlin) I really love good girls turned bad. I was a little worried that Morgana was just going to be Merlin’s love interest in season 1. But man was I wrong. Going from a ward with bad dreams to a witch determined to be queen. I was actually kind of rooting for her. But that just could be because Katie is a phenomenal actress. But anyway, Morgana really has issues, which is why she’s top 3. Also the fact that she didn’t have a girlfriend, so disappointing. But she’s a villain, and villains don’t have lovers. Or they’re not supposed to in my book. Also she can go toe to toe with Merlin, who is supposed to be one of the best sorcerers of all time. What a show of power. 

2. Regina Mills (Once Upon a Time) My favorite redemption arc. From good to evil and back to good. Honestly one of my favorite characters to watch. And Lana just does such a good job with it. Do you see the trend that I have with my favorite characters? Tragic background is the base requirement. Magical badass gives you an improvement in the list. But Regina has had a horrible life. The fact that she is classified as a villain is heartbreaking sometimes. But she did kill a ton of people so she’s definitely a villain in the storybooks. And that sass. Only Regina could pull off that sass. But I think the fact that she tries to be good when it is not in her nature, I think that speaks volumes. 

1. Kara Danvers / Supergirl (Supergirl) I feel like people just got thrown for a loop. It’s like wait a minute. Didn’t you just say that your favorite kind of character is a “magical badass with a tragic background?” Um maybe. But Kara has her own tragedies. She just doesn’t show it. She lost her parents when she was 12. Not just her parents, but almost her whole family and all of her home. But she learned to have a new home on Earth. But she manages to figure out how to save the world with all of these conflicts in her life. Shoutout to Alex for being an awesome sister. And she has a great social life, something I aspire to have. I’m so upset that the show is ending after season 6. I love Kara so much. Kara is the most amazing woman in the Arrowverse so I’m so sorry to see her go. 

[bonesgadh]

My thoughts on the final season of Orange is the New Black:

Obviously, some heavy spoilers below:

If you ask me, Piper’s storyline outside Litchfield was, for the most part, a complete waste of time. Instead of having her getting stoned with her brother or going to that pointless retreat, why didn’t they have her doing something productive like helping other former inmates or writing her book?

Speaking of the book, I’m high-key disappointed they gave the memoir storyline to Judy fucking King. Call me cheesy but I was looking forward to the show ending with Piper writing her book just like she said she would in season 6. Such a missed opportunity.

I really, really wanted Taystee to be cleared of Piscatella’s murder. I don’t understand why they gave so much importance to Suzanne writting what really happened and Taystee showing the text to her lawyer if it wasn’t going to make a difference in the end. Chekhov’s gun, anyone?

I’m so relieved she didn’t kill herself. I guess as long as there’s life there’s hope fucking Cindy will confess the truth and justice will be served. In the meantime, I was happy Taystee found a new meaning to her life and decided to help other inmates have a better shot at rebuilding their lives after prison.

Daddy’s death caught me by surprise. That said, I didn’t notice her absence at all for the reminder of the season. I guess she was a one-hit wonder character.

I have the feeling they had no idea what to do with Frieda so they just had her do weird stuff like accumulating trash. 

Thank Christ they got rid of Badison so early in the season. Cringiest, most annoying character in the history of television.

Aleida is so stupid lmao. I get she wanted to protect her daughter from that pedophile but she fucked up. I was rooting for her to rebuild her life and I was disappointed at her.

I liked Suzanne coming to terms with her sentence and being more comfortable around people and making new friends. It’s what she deserves.

Why is Cesar out of jail? Didn’t Aleida say he was supposed to stay there until he was an old man?

So Yadriel isn’t Pepa’s biological father?

Shani, man. Her relationship with Nicky was so cute and you could tell she was different from Nicky’s other flings. She didn’t act like a stallion around her, she was sweet and considerate with her and her backstory was very sad. I’m pissed they weren’t endgame because they made such a good couple.

There was no need to kill off Lorna’s baby. That was unnecessary roughness.

What happened to Maritza left me devastated. That final sequence of her getting into the plane and all the other women who were deported as well slowly disappearing until there was no one left gave me fucking chills. It was tough to watch but it had to be done to make a point of how a good portion of the immigrants who get deported are young adults who have never lived anywhere else besides the US, but still they are not considered citizens.

I absolutely adore Fig. Her character development was one of the best in the show. Also I LOVE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH CAPUTO OMG.

Piper’s sister-in-law is annoying af. I bet she is one of those anti-vaccinations freaks.

Alex looked so damn hot in her flashback oh my god. 

Goodall is adorable! For real, what a gorgeous baby.

I was not expecting CO Fischer to make a comeback.

Healy is still a piece of shit.

I can understand why Piper developed feelings for Zelda. She represented the potential life she could lead now that she was a free woman, the opportunity to start over and leave prison behind (like Sophia advised her to). However, there wasn’t anything exciting about being with her, it was way too safe and that’s the exact opposite of what she had with Alex. 

Polly is even more annoying than she was before but Larry didn’t get on my nerves this time around, which surprised me. Maybe because his little prep talk is what pushed Piper to follow Alex to Ohio or maybe it was the nostalgia. Idk, but they brought him back in a nice way.

I felt really bad for Vinnie. He wasn’t only grieving for his son but he also had to see Lorna fall into that complete state of denial.

Sophia’s comeback was everything. She looked like a goddess and she seemed so happy and in control of her life. I thought we wouldn’t see her again after she got released from prison but I’m glad they managed to bring her back even for a couple of scenes.

Totally random statement but Piper looked very attractive at the benefit gala and the morning after. I don’t know if it was the hair or the way they did her eyes but she was smoking hot.

Danielle Brooks is the best actress in the show. Don’t @ me.

McCullough is the archetype of the psycho ex. I legit thought she was going to shoot Piper when she confronted her at her house.

Alex knows Piper so damn well. She is aware of the fact that Piper tends to run away from stuff when things get complicated and her choosing to have an affair with McCullough was her way to try to protect herself. Then again, I really thought they had moved on from that phase. 

Fig lying about being pregnant to help that woman get an abortion was such a strong moment. Also her calling out the double-standard of the guard who was opposed to the woman aborting but wanted her to get deported? Legends only.

Lorna is such a racist but I can’t bring myself to dislike her. If anything I’ve always felt a bit sorry for her.

Linda is such a bitch.

Tamika was the only warden who actually cared about making a difference. I’m sad she got fired because of something that wasn’t even her fault but her good deeds made a profound impact.

McCullough is so damn unstable but I can’t blame her for developing such strong feelings for Alex. She’s quite irresistible.

Alex acting all unattached and cold as she was breaking up with Piper was painful to watch. I knew it wasn’t real but for a hot second I thought that was it for them. 

The ICE storyline was out-of-this-world amazing. So powerful and brilliantly done, quintessential OITNB.

If you had told me six years ago I would cry like a baby with Pennsatucky’s death I would have laughed at you.

But for real, POOR PENNSATUCKY. I’m sorry she had to die for Taystee to stay alive.

Because of the ‘a fan-favorite character dies in the final episode to mark the end of the show’ trope I had the feeling they were going to kill either Red, Alex or Taystee. I was legit surprised when the final death was revealed to be Pennsatucky.

That Poussey flashback had me in tears.

Alex and Nicky’s goodbye scene was so sweet and I love they talked about eventually reuniting. They were my brotp.

What Larry told Piper when she visited him at his place was very interesting. When Piper told him she loved Alex he told her he believed her, but that he also thought she loved what Alex represented. I believe that was true at some point—well, for most of the series—and, unconsciously, Piper believed that as well. But, if anything, what they went through in season 7 helped Piper realize she did want to be with Alex. The extra limb analogy was amazing and I don’t think Jenji could have picked a better way to explain their relationship.

Hellman is the new warden? Gross.

My favorite part about the old inmates’ cameos was that they were shown doing the same stuff they did in Litchfield: Boo being tired of everyone’s bullshit, Yoga giving the mandala talk to new inmates, Gina feeling exasperated and Norma calming her down, Watson running and Alison checking her time, Angie and Leanne being stupid, Brook mooning over stuff.

I only missed two characters making a cameo: Sister Ingalls and Miss Claudette. I know most fans wanted to see Bennett again but fuck that coward.

Also wtf happened to Bayley? I kinda wanted to know.

Karla’s story broke my heart. I’m glad they included her character because her story is the story of millions of immigrants that are separated from their children, forced to return to their home countries and endure harsh conditions while trying to make their way back to the US.

Blanca really went out there and said “fuck it” to the american dream, didn’t she? In my opinion she had the best ending out of all the characters. I’m so happy she reunited with Diablo and is ready to live her life with him at last. My girl deserved it.

Maria’s storyline was so ‘meh’. It was way too similar to her season 6 storyline.

My mom Gloria had the second best ending. I was afraid they were going to punish her because of the phone thing but thankfully asshole Luschek finally did something right. I was rooting for her to have a happy ending and I’m glad she got it.

Also was that little girl living with Gloria and her kids her granddaughter? Because she was definitely younger than her sons but Gloria’s flashback stated her daughters are older, so I’m confused.

I really need to know if Aleida killed Daya. I hate it was left so open.

Flaca choosing to help immigrants was so sweet. I bet one of the reasons she did it was to stop them from suffering Maritza’s fate.

Fig and Caputo are adopting!

Cindy did not deserve a good ending after she ruined Taystee’s life. That made me so angry. I was really hoping she would confess the truth.

In the end, McCullough made Alex a favor by having her transferred to Ohio. She went back to minimum security, she was with friends and people she knew and far away from all the crap in max.

What happened to Red and Lorna was devastating. Red losing her identity and her memory was so tragic because of what a badass she was. Also I knew Lorna would lose it after her son’s death but it was heartbreaking. They deserved better.

It sucks balls Nicky lost every person who was important to her but despite that I liked her ending because, even though she suffered heartbreak after heartbreak, she found a way to keep herself sober and now she will help others the way Red helped her. It was the best way she could honor her.

Despite literally everyone around Piper advising her to leave Alex behind and forget about her (from her parole officer to her dad to Larry to Sophia) the fact that she chose to follow Alex to Ohio was a pleasant surprise to me. It showed her growth and how much she really wanted to be with Alex, and that she was not a mistake in her life but her life. I was never a Vauseman shipper but even I knew they had to be endgame, any other ending wouldn’t have made any sense. I feel bad for the shippers because it was a very tough season for them but love prevailed, so congrats.

I didn’t catch the Piper Kerman cameo until I saw someone mentioned it on twitter. That was so cool! Also I don’t know if this was intentional but I liked the visual parallel between Larry Smith & Piper and Piper Kerman & Alex. Larry waited for Piper for as long as she was in jail and never abandoned her, so I choose to believe Kenji and Co. are hinting at Piper doing the same thing for Alex.

It was a good decision to show us a glimpse of Piper’s new life. She has a stable job, a new home, she is studying about criminal law and using her time in a productive way, and also she looks happier than we ever saw her.

In conclusion, I liked the season very much. Orange is one of my favorite shows and I think they ended it in a very nice way. It was very well executed and, unlike other final seasons I have watched over the years, it never felt rushed to me. It was the best season in at least a couple of years and I’m in love with the series finale, I stand by my original statement that it is the best one I have ever seen.

I give it a solid B+, four-out-of-five stars, 8.5 out of 10.

Orange forever, indeed.

[ultravioletsoul]

Can you rank your fave CoD antagonists?

Hello there nonny, sorry for taking so long to reply and thank you for your ask ♥♥

Rank my favorite CoD antagonists? Sure, I can do that! There are several antagonists in the series, but I’ll only rank my top 3. Hope that is okay with you c:

3. Jonathan Irons

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Advanced Warfare may not be a series as popular as BO or MW, but I actually enjoyed the game and I also liked Irons. Honestly, I don’t think we’ve gotten that many antagonists that started out as our allies in CoD (at least I don’t remember any others atm), much any less an American antagonist, so that kinda made him stand out to me.

I’m not familiar with Kevin Spacey’s works, and I barely watched any trailers pre-release. So to see Irons go from someone who I believed genuinely wanted to make the world a better place, where every human being could live in peace and thrive, away from the pointless wars that governments waged, to someone who was willing to use any means necessary to achieve his goals, regardless of how many lives he had to sacrifice... well, that was something that hit me hard.

This man who gave my character a second chance, who treated me (Mitchell) as his son, who cleaned up after the colossal mess that others countries made, helped people from devastated war-zones rebuild their lives and gave them hope for the future, turned out to be someone I was forced to betray because of different viewpoints and philosophies. Despite everything, I think Irons had his heart in the right place, but his methods were ultimately terrible and in his messianic delusions he ended up doing more harm than good, so of course he had to be stopped.

And what I liked about him was that he didn’t start out as a bad man, he didn’t do all those things because of greed, and his characterization wasn’t that of a cartoonish villain. In a way I could find logic in his arguments, he made a few good points about the current state of the world and the inability (or indifference) of many politicians to solve the real problems of the people. But the root of it all lies in the loss of his son, his only child, to a government he no longer trusted nor had any faith in doing what was right. Despite having served in the military in his youth, Irons had grown disillusioned at the way the US handled domestic and international policy, and strongly disagreed with them— opposing the status quo in favor of change. 

One could argue that serving in the military was entirely Will’s choice all along, and as a grown adult he knew what he was getting himself into. Still Irons couldn’t help but think that if that war had never happened, Will would still be alive. So that left him with a bitter taste, and it served as the catalyst behind his actions.

If nobody else would bother to do anything to actually solve the world’s problems, then he would be the savior to do it— whether they liked it or not. And he didn’t care what methods he had to use, how many had to die, or if he had to plunge the world into total chaos before he could ultimately end all wars and bring everlasting “peace” (perhaps one of the greatest ironies) as his dream seemed to be. Even at the cost of such a high price.

I don’t think Irons gets the credit he deserves.

2. Raúl Menéndez

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BO2 is one of my favorite games and Raúl is undoubtedly one of the most memorable antagonists in the series. Much like Irons, his actions were heavily motivated by the loss of a loved one but his life is also one sad story, so it’s no wonder he turned out the way he did. Not to justify him, but it’s not hard to understand what led him to do all those things.

From a very young age, his life was destroyed by the actions of Americans, from the horrors of the dictatorship in Nicaragua (in which the Contras were supported by the US); the crippling and disfigurement of his young sister Josefina, due to the greed of an American owner who burned down a warehouse in order to obtain 11,000$ through insurance fraud. After losing everything during an earthquake, and becoming homeless, Raúl and his father started over by selling drugs, successfully establishing a cartel that was so powerful in Nicaragua that they were equally feared and admired among the people.

But this status and power they had newly acquired concerned the US government, and it wasn't long before they sanctioned an assassination order on Raúl's father and sent the CIA in to kill him. Raúl observed it all, a teenager back then, and managed to escape thanks to his father's training. Though he could do nothing to stop it, nothing to save his father, this event marked him and further embittered him against the US and the West. And the last straw was the unfortunate death of Josefina, at the hands of Woods. He lost his sister, the only living relative he had, and his world fell apart. But if we think about it, Raúl was indirectly responsible for her death too, after the horrible torture he put Woods through in Angola. So the next time Woods saw Raúl he lost his mind and threw the grenade that tragically bounced into Josefina's bedroom and killed her.

So he spent all his life orchestrating a huge plan, a brilliant plan, that would shake the US from the very ground. And he was damn charismatic while executing it, earning the support and approval of billions of people all around the world— even from those who lived in US soil!— to begin a world revolution and end the dominance of capitalist nations that had subjugated other weaker countries, amassing huge riches through market economy and wars for resources, destroying lives and sinking many in poverty. And he also manipulates and pits two superpowers against each other... sending everyone to the brink of another world war, or a second cold war at best.

He wanted revenge on the US for playing with the lives of other people, for taking everything he loved away from him, by making them live in fear and destroying everything they had built. He wanted them to feel the same pain, to suffer the way he did. And he wouldn't rest until he achieved that because he had nothing to lose anymore.

Depending on the outcome, he can get revenge on Woods for Josefina, as well. And though we all like it when the "good" guys prevail and foil the plans of the villain, I think this particular ending had a much deeper and stronger emotional impact. The conversation they have at the end is something I didn't expect. Raúl has come to kill Woods but they're both in a place where the years have beaten them down with the weight of they’ve done and rather than an over the top scene, what we’re given is quite the opposite of that. 

There’s no screaming, no heated argument between them, no dramatic lines. It’s just two old men who had to live with what they’ve done, and who have come to terms with the inevitability of that moment. Raúl slits Woods’s artery with Josefina’s pendant, and then he does something that surprised me: he closes Frank’s eyes, takes him off the wheelchair and lies his body on the bed. Something that is a huge contrast with what he did to Hudson many years ago... the savagery he used when killing him. For Raúl to behave that way with Woods, the man he considered to be his sister’s killer, it raises the question as to whether he still hated Woods after all these years, or maybe deep down he finally acknowledges that his actions (namely torturing Woods and killing his whole team) was the true motive that led to Josefina’s death.

The thing is, Raúl knows that he's to blame for what happened. It's also the reason why he burns himself alive in front of Josefina's grave. It’s because he has to pay for what he's done to her, too, and he chose to do it in probably the most horrible way possible but it didn’t matter to him. Nothing was more painful than living with the knowledge that his sister died because of what he did.

To him Josefina was the true innocent soul, who didn't deserve any of the suffering she went through.

1. Vladimir Makarov

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It’s no secret that Vladimir is my most favorite antagonist (and character) in all of Call of Duty.

Though his background and motives weren’t as well developed and explained as those of other antagonists in the series, his untold story (which you won’t find anywhere in the game, though you can deduce if you have a basic idea of the situation before and after the fall of the Soviet Union) perhaps says a lot more about him than one might expect.

There’s not a lot we know about his past other than the meager information that was provided in some loading cutscenes, but it’s reasonable to think that Vladimir wasn’t always the trashbag that we see in the games. He once was a young man with dreams of patriotism, who wanted the best for his country, who loved Russia with his soul, and who would do anything to protect her, because as a soldier that was what he was taught to do. As a soldier, that was his purpose in life and without that reason to drive him on, he had nothing left.

And however vague his backstory may seem to be, it gives you an idea that Vladimir in a way was a victim of a system that imparted a type of soft indoctrination on him, from a very young age (as many states do all around the world in some form or another, even those who hold democratic values), all the way to his education in the military academy and his brutal training in the special forces, that further cemented this undying love for Russia, maybe in a way that bordered brainwashing.

His true radicalization came after the fall of the Soviet Union with the loss of his homeland and the Soviet culture as he knew it, as well as Russia becoming weak and losing much of her power and influence across the world. Then came his deployment in Chechnya in 1994, where he lived the horrors of a war that most likely left him psychologically scarred after the experiences he had to go through. And when he returned home, he was kicked out of the armed forces under accusations of human rights violations during the First Chechen War. And they may be true, he probably did a lot of bad things there (under the illusion that he was serving his country for a higher cause), and sadly it’s something commonplace in many armed conflicts. I’m going to leave this short post here for some details on that.

When he returned from war, he didn’t receive any professional help or if he did, it didn’t work. He didn’t know how to cope, he ultimately was unable to adapt to a normal life, he became a misfit. He had lost his job, he had a stain in his career, and finding a decent way to get by was very difficult at the time when the country was in the middle of a political, social, and economic crisis.

He was in financial ruin, and it was hunger that pushed him to become a criminal (something that wasn’t uncommon for ex military men in 90s Russia). Not just that but also hatred for those in power as well as society as a whole, and what they represented: total decadence and the reason why Russia was falling apart with these “stupid” western conceptions about freedom that in his eyes did nothing but give leeway for debauchery and corruption, which he ultimately sought to “fix” by returning Russia to what it used to be (a god-fearing empire under the autocratic rule of a tsar that was likened to a father to all his subjects, and where religion was used as a resource to legitimize his power and as a moral regulator that maintained the social order).

He pretty much felt abandoned, betrayed by his government— a leadership that had done nothing but sink Russia deeper and deeper into ruin, destroying the values under which he was raised and turning people like him into cynical masses that had lost faith in everything and were adrift without any real purpose in life, no future to look forward to, completely disillusioned that the dreams they’d bought into, the promises they had been sold by the west, were nothing but lies.

He’s still a piece of garbage, we know that, but I also think that he’s gone through a lot of struggles and bad experiences in his youth that marked him and filled him with resentment. Everyone sees Vladimir as the puppet master of the storyline of MW, and we have to give him credit for that, but deep down he’s just a man who has been a slave to his own obsessions and ambitions, unable to free himself from the hatred that has poisoned his mind for years, which led him to commit so many atrocities and strip himself from any semblance of humanity— all for the sake of a higher cause, as he undoubtedly tried to justify his actions at the end of the day.

In conclusion, all three were marked by losses in one way or another, and saw themselves as men who had to take the hard path and do what had to be done. And it’s also curious that Call of Duty, while not a game with any deep meaning on the surface, almost seems like social commentary on how war ruins lives and how anyone can do horrible things if put through the wringer enough times. It’s like these stories are trying to say that bad circumstances can make bad men out of seemingly good people, who wouldn’t have done any of the evil they did if maybe things had been different.

And I think that’s what makes these characters so interesting.

[bidaryl]

okay so u know those AUs where its like……rick wakes up from his coma and its the start of the apocalypse all over again after living through a fair chunk of it!! and its like him correcting mistakes and getting his second chance and shit OR the version where they ALL suddenly just wake up one day back in the modern world zombie free and it was all a dream but they all collectively had it so they find each other and meet up????? thats neat and all and i will read those fics till the day i die but u know what i have not seen and i rly wanna like. cry over?

daryl.

daryl waking up at the start of the end of the world. okay i haven’t put much thought into pre-rick era so like maybe just before rick comes in? maybe when merle and the crew leave for the city???? and its like a post-negan daryl thats waking up here. mayhaps the night glenn d*es and daryl gets taken? OR EVEN better maybe when jesus rescues daryl and its when daryl finally falls asleep for the first time in months on an actual pillow surrounded by certain members of his found family and then he just????? wakes up!!

he wakes up and he’s at the fcking quarry. his bitchass loudmouth brothers nowhere in sight cos as daryl figures out later, merle left the previous day. its the big reset button that everyone kinda wishes they had because they’ve all lost so much over the past 2-3 years but like… never though it could happen.

or! and i haven’t actually seen past carl dying so i’m not positive about things but hmmm what about a version when when rick ~dies. the bridge explodes. rick, for all intents and purposes of the show, /is DeAd/. and daryls a fucking mess becos that was on him and maggie and idk who else was involved in that plot or even if thats actually what happened. but from what ive gathered rick and daryl were kinda on the outs with the negan shit and that bridge scene could’ve been avoided. if things had just gone a bit differently. if they could go back in time just for a second! just one more chance! one more shot at things going differently and daryl could totally fix everything. then the next day daryls waking up at the quarry.

ugh cos THINK about it!! quarry era daryl and saviour/negan+ era daryl are so different? like the heart of him is the same but they all barely know each other at the start and daryls so angry and skittish and runs on fight or flight mode but alexandria/saviour/negan era daryl has like……bleed for these people? provided food and water for these people? led these people to safety? put his life on the line on several occasions for these people? made some of these people smile and laugh by just existing? stepped in as leader when rick has his moments? or like co leader with michonne & co.?

like would he tell anyone?? would he speak up more and try lead them to the farm cos that was a good move they did before? does he keep up pretences and chuck a tantrum over the crew not returning with merle or does he like. go ‘okay.’ and everyones like what the actual fuck. does he go into the prison and head for the cafeteria straight away to get the remaining prisoners out and kill that one bitch that fucks shit up for them??

he absofuckinglutely saves sophia. jumps that fucking guardrail before rick can even get out from under the car properly. carol literally not letting sophia out of her sight for days after daryl and rick and sophia all return like 2 hrs later, wet and covered in dirt and some blood but safe.

then!! if he did tell someone, who would it be?????? rick?? carol?? like how would that even go down. would he tell them maybe later on? prison era maybe. when michonne finally comes and they’re all debating whether to let her in or let her fuck off and stuff and daryls like wow i cant take this anymore rick that is ur future WIFE man. patch up her fucking leg.

or maybe carol. when they’re on watch together and carol casually mentions that daryl was over and into the woods, right on sophias heels, before people even realised which direction she went. how rick mentioned once to her that daryl seemed to know exactly where to find her. even picked up her doll without even seeming to stop. just seemed to know exactly what was happening. daryl just shrugging.

also side note. we, and daryl, do NOT know a butterfly effect. absolutely no ‘oh he saved xoxo and that means them and 2 others are gonna die!’ plots. nope. no way. this is the do-over of all do-overs. a one time fix it and fix it for the better.

THAT ALL BEING SAID this post is me being like hey what if daryl got a second chance whatever but no! what this post is truly about at its core is: IMAGINE a daryl thats lived….lets go with the ricks just died version. daryls lived that long and lost that many members of his family.

and then he hasn’t.

imagine daryl seeing beth for the first time again. the last time he saw her, he was carrying out her dead body to her sobbing sister. then they’re all at the farm again and she’s theres. alive and well and still young and bright and smiling. ‘you’re gonna miss me so bad when i’m gone’ he fucking did. he missed her so fucking much. he like. physically stops himself from like just going up and grabbing her and hugging the shit out of her.

daryl seeing sophia grow up? seeing carol become that mum. the mum that she always wanted to be and become still the strongest fucking women daryl had ever met but also like……..her and sophia. every time he sees them together he just wants to cry. carol deserves this so fucking bad. after everything, if he could save nothing else. he can make peace with himself knowing he gave carol this. this time with her daughter that she got robbed of.

daryl seeing glenn, alive, so so so young it seems compared to the the last glenn he saw. seeing him at camp at the quarry. seeing him talk to maggie for the first time. going from seeing him alive and so so so fucking real then his sleep being filled with nightmares of That night. how long after glenns death did daryl blame himself. would’ve put his head under the bat without hesitation if it meant that glenn could live and meet his son. him and maggie can run hilltop together. and now he’s real and he’s tangible and he’s funny and daryl spent so much of his time remembering glenn and feeling guilty that he never even really let himself miss him? but fuck he’s missed glenn so fucking much. missed having his back out on runs and glenn having his.

meeting aaron and eric again. going to that spag bowl dinner, eating the fuck out of it, just enjoying watching these two gays in love have dinner with each other at the end of the world. thinks about how they specifically invited him over for dinner. erics not gonna die this time round. they’re both gonna met gracie. bring her back number plates. help her put them on the wall, put them amongst all her drawings.

meeting merle again. knowing that merle died for him. them. the whole family. michone. idk if i want merle to live or die idk lets move on.

hershel lives!!!!!!!!! no beheading here!!!!!!!! fuck that!!!!!! fuck the governor!!!!! maggie and beth and glenn do not ever have to witness their father (in law) being killed in cold blood! no! hershel fits in v well with the alexandia community and thrives there. daryl makes damn sure of that.

daryl on that first day they meet jesus? him and rick getting in that car, rick singing that damn song, and daryl realising oh Shit! its that day already?? and then jesus, the fucker, does exactly what he does last time. and daryls just like.......so fucking happy that jesus is HERE and ALIVE and RIGHT THERE that he doesnt even get to outsmart him. show off. jesus pulls the firecracker stunt again and swipes ricks keys and when rick and him are stranded there and jesus has taken off with the truck, daryls just standing there like how the fuck did i let that happen. chases him around the field AGAIN! ‘duck!’ ‘thats my gun!’ AGAIN!!!!!! <3<3<3

the long road of the apocolypse is just as hard the second time as the first but everytime daryl looks around at his family and sees everyone they lost so tragically last time, alive, hes like..................a MESS. theyre alive! and safe! and hes so happy that his family is all together again. 

[blackhatclubblog]

Top Ten Shows with #s in the titles

Because there are many ways to divide dramas, and this is one. XD The K2 Oh, yes, let's start with the one that should have been so much cooler. What should have been the core of the story: is it possible for a good, if terribly broken (kudos to the show for portraying PTSD), man to save a bad, and equally broken, woman with the power of his friendship? Unfortunately, they thought a ridiculous lot of action, a few good actors, and the potential for awesome could save an 11th hour gutting of the best parts of the drama in favor of an absolutely idiotic (and entirely inappropriate) loveline with a actress who could not hold her own against the other leads. It did not work. I will say the action scenes are still fun and the OST is one I still enjoy, though. Right along with the glorious speculation on what could have been. XD 7th Grade Civil Servant ...'k, and this was a DNF. It was a stupid, slapstick spy comedy that even fans of such (of which I am not one) did not enjoy. I was hoping, because it had Joo Won in, but...no. I could barely make it through the beginning. Two Weeks Okay, I liked this one. It is a drama not really for children or the undiscerning...but a good story in multiple ways. It’s one of those incredible redemption stories that I adored but that which is slightly harder to recommend to everyone indiscriminately. Basically, the MC made a terrible choice in attempting to protect someone he loved, and his life was destroyed. When the story starts, he is in a very bad place, and the story doesn't shy away from the depths to which he has sunk. When his ex-girlfriend finds him and tells him that she actually had the baby he demanded she abort, and that baby is now a young girl dying of leukemia who needs him donate stem cells...his life takes a different turn. Watching him fight step by step to believe that he can change, that he can become the person those he loves need so desperately, and come to a full understanding of what exactly he has done in the past...it's incredible. {There is a scene where he ends up helping a stranger deliver her baby, and the moment it truly hits him what he almost forced his girlfriend to do and that he might never have met his daughter if his girlfriend had followed through...gah.} This ^ scene, sure, might lose a few points for why is a man on the run from the police and the bad guys helping a random lady deliver a baby of all things? and is this too on the nose in forcing him to make up for not supporting his own family when he should have done so? But it all depends on how you feel about symbolism. XD Also, I just discovered, doing my usual fruitless search for a good MV of Two Weeks, that Japan has also done a version, which stars Miura Haruma. Which A) brb, watching that now, and B) that leads directly into: 5 Minutes to Tomorrow A man enters the twisting reality of a highly concerning pair of twin sisters...which one died and which one came home as his wife?  This also counts as a DNF, I guess, because I have tried to watch this movie 2-3 times and fallen asleep promptly every time, which is not a great recommendation for any kind of murder mystery. To be fair, the Chinese or Japanese movies I have watched have been few and far between. All of the latter, however have been the fault of the following drama: Bloody Monday 1-2 This is totally cheating and I really don't care. There are rare Korean or Japanese shows with seasons, so I'm utilizing that unique aspect. XD Anyway, it's been a while since I watched it, but I highlight it for 2 reasons: Miura Haruma and Sato Takeru.   Okay, just kidding. But I keep checking out and then dropping Japanese films and shows in hopes of one or the other of these two will be in another show as brilliantly addicting as this one. So far, Sato Takeru is the only one who has managed it. What made Bloody Monday so good? Plotting, pacing, characters. It is a j-drama/dorama, so be warned that compared to the k-dramas I tend to watch it is a little more graphic in terms of language, death, clothing choices, subject matter...but if you're looking for a fight-the-terrorist-save-the-world story utilizing a genius hacker and his best friends and a brilliantly charismatic villain..this is it. The villain subconsciously inspired a decent amount of my Contract to Time Travel character Ja-Il - his intelligence, his charisma, his relationship with his siblings...but one of the main reasons I love it is that the MC is so resoundingly true. When it comes down to saving his country or betraying his principles, what choice will he make? Tactically he may be stupid, but he's still practically a child, and the strength of his convictions matters to me. Also, I loved that season 2 did not pick up with everyone the same. It showed how people were hurt, how people were changed, how people grew up, from season 1. It hurt, but it felt real. Queen for Seven Days Speaking of watching new dramas because of who is in them...Park Min Young SLAYS in every drama I've seen her in (including rom com, which I DO NOT EVEN WATCH but which I have watched for her and pretty much died laughing over)...and Yeon Woo Jin (who...now that I think about it...I have watched a rom-com with him in it too...yikes...this is not me...) Maybe I'm an idiot for wanting to ruin the two rom-coms I've enjoyed in my life by seeing two of their leads in a tragedy, but...I have heard nothing but high praise for every aspect of this drama except the trailers, and once I get past my current stack of tragic historical dramas, I'm definitely going to watch this one. Five Fingers This one is on hold...to be honest, I only ever wanted to watch it because of the opening sequence of piano music, which I watched. All I know is it's about pseudo-brothers and revenge and pianos? And there's a fire in there somewhere? Which sounds like a fun combination, but I'm not sure as a story that has enough weight to pull me completely in. I might do better with my time to just learn some piano music for myself.... 38 Task Force Okay, for something not a revenge tragedy...this weirdly named show is for fans of Leverage and Seo In Guk. The relationships weren't quite so well done as I'd hoped, and the cons (which then became the point of it all) were minimally memorable. I remember one of them involved the main conman giving a speech at a fancy place...and another involved him coming up with a car out of thin air...and another had something to do with antiques and throwing money everywhere. So. I remember enjoying it enough to watch it...but not much else. Rating: Eh. School 2013 Aw...one more drama that is neither tragedy nor romance. It's a school drama about guilt, honesty, dreams, the impact of adult role models on troubled children, and a David-Jonathan friendship that went horribly wrong. As such it is a lot less weighty than most of the others on this list...yet while you're watching it you forget that the only thing at stake is the friendship of some high school boys and possibly their futures. Which I think is something Korean dramas sometimes excel at - is the tragic destruction of a friendship going to destroy the world? No, but when you're in the situation it might feel like it is, and the drama manages to pull you in so that you feel what they're feeling. Six Flying Dragons Sooooo....back to tragedies....*cough* Caveat: I have not yet finished this. But just the first few episodes plunged me into the founding of a nation and the creation of a man - I love how Korean dramas are not afraid to spend the time setting up the world and showing you exactly what choices were made to make someone the person they became. And maybe it’s a bloody mess of history but it’s tragic and fascinating and even if largely fictionalized there is so much to learn from history, let alone about story-telling. I’m looking forward to watching this one as a whole.   What is your favorite drama or movie with a number in the title? Which of the above have you watched? XD

[beginagainunsolved]

RYAN: This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved, we cover the murder of the Bertinelli crime family, a prominent Italian mob family operating out of Gotham, New Jersey.

SHANE: Oh, I love a good mob story.

RYAN: Yeah, well, you might want to find someone else to move your couch for this one.

SHANE: Well, Ryan, now I’m titillated. 

RYAN (wheeze) Titillated?

SHANE: Titillated! 

RYAN, NARRATION: In the 1990s, the Bertinelli family was perhaps the most powerful crime family in Gotham City. Headed by Franco Bertinelli, the family enjoyed great wealth thanks to their deep ties with the mafia.

SHANE: That’s the dream.

RYAN: Being rich thanks to the mafia? That’s the dream?

SHANE: Frankly, Ryan, all rich people are shady. At least being rich thanks to the mafia is upfront!

RYAN: I’m sure they didn’t go around telling everyone ‘hey, the mafia made me rich!’

SHANE: Their last name is Bertinelli, Ryan. They didn’t have to tell people. People just knew.

RYAN: (wheeze)

SHANE: Look me in the eye and tell me Franco Bertinelli isn’t the most cliche mobster name you’ve ever heard.

RYAN: It --- It is pretty cliche, I have to give you that one.

SHANE: You do. 

RYAN, NARRATION: Well known around Gotham and the surrounding area, the Bertinellis were believed by many to be all but invincible due to their connections. This would change in the late 1990s. 

SHANE: Mafia life didn’t end well for them? It usually ends so well.

RYAN: How many stories have we done about mafia life ending less than well now?

SHANE: That’s, like, 90% of our job at this point. Just reading ‘idk, mafia?’ off a slideshow.

RYAN: And you still want them to move your couch.

SHANE: It’s a heavy couch! I’m not going to get indebted to them or anything. They’ll move one couch, I’ll do one thing for them, and we’ll be even!

RYAN: (wheeze) That’s not how the mafia works!

SHANE: How would you know?

RYAN: Because 90% of my job is reading ‘idk, mafia?’ off a slideshow.

SHANE: Touche. 

RYAN, NARRATION: In the late 1990s, when Franco’s daughter Helena was eight years old, an unknown person ordered a hit on the entire Bertinelli family. To this day, it isn’t known precisely who ordered the hit, but sources from within the organization claim that the contract came with an order to spare “the sister.” 

SHANE: Oh my god, there are nuns in this?

RYAN: What? (wheeze) No! Why would there be nuns in this?

SHANE: The Sister! Like a nun! These mobsters just didn’t want any nuns hurt.

RYAN: I promise you, this story has absolutely no nuns. 

SHANE: I’ll believe it when I see it.

RYAN: You’re seeing it right now, because I’m telling you.

SHANE: Hm.

RYAN: Ugh.

RYAN, NARRATION: The assassin who carried out the hit took this to mean that Helena, Bertinelli’s daughter, was to be spared. While Franco Bertinelli, his wife, and the rest of their family were slaughtered, Helena would survive the experience. She would, however, witness her family’s death.

SHANE: Can’t do that.

RYAN: Kill an entire family while their eight year old watches? Yeah, that’s not great.

SHANE: God that’s --- This is terrible. 

RYAN: Yeah, seems like they could have gone about it a little better.

SHANE: Like, maybe take the eight year old in the other room?

RYAN: Still not great!

SHANE: Well, no, Ryan, murdering a child’s entire family is never going to be great.

RYAN: But, yeah. You’d think they could have ‘spared’ her a little better here.

SHANE: These mafia hitmen need to stop taking things so literally!

RYAN: Actually… We’ll touch on that some more in the theories.

SHANE: Did I solve it?

RYAN: (wheeze) How is that anything remotely resembling a solve?

SHANE: I solved it!

RYAN: No! Stop saying you solved things.

SHANE: Jealousy is a bad look on you.

RYAN, NARRATION: For years, it was unclear what happened to Helena. Many people believed the rumors of her survival were false and that she had been killed along with her family. Other claims stated that she was sent to live with family in Sicily. Whatever the case, it’s clear that if Helena survived, she kept a low profile.

SHANE: I mean. Wouldn’t you?

RYAN: Yeah, if my entire family was killed in front of me at eight years old, I probably wouldn’t be going to many parties.

SHANE: (in a bad English accent) Oh, hello! Why, I haven’t seen you in years! My father? Ah, yes! Brutally murdered in front of me. My mother? Also brutally murdered! My brother? Why, it’s funny you should ask! He, too, was brutally murdered!

RYAN: (wheeze) Why are you doing English? They’re Italian. 

SHANE: All rich people are British, Ryan.

RYAN: No they’re not.

SHANE: At parties they are.

RYAN: That’s definitely not true.

SHANE: How do you know? Have you ever been to a party for rich people?

RYAN: ...You got me there.

RYAN, NARRATION: So, who ordered the hit on the Bertinelli family? Why were they killed? And, perhaps the bigger question, why was Helena Bertinelli, an eight year old girl, the only member of the family to survive? Let's get into the theories. The first theory points to Stefano Mandragora, a Sicilian mob boss, as the man behind the order.

SHANE: This is a boring theory. Where’s the excitement, Ryan? Where’s the pizzazz?

RYAN: I’m getting to the excitement! Would you let me finish?

SHANE: Get on with it! 

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory seems plausible, but the real meat comes from the local family tasked with completing the hit. Santo Cassamento was the leader of the Cassamento Family, one of Gotham’s Five Families. Because the Bertinellis were also one of Gotham’s Five Families, Cassamento would have had regular contact with them. This theory states that, during meetings and gatherings with the other Five Families in Gotham, Cassamento fell in love with Franco Bertinelli’s wife, Maria.

SHANE: Ooh, that is juicy. 

RYAN: Oh, it gets juicer.

SHANE: Go on.

RYAN, NARRATION: This theory goes on to claim that Helena Bertinelli wasn’t the daughter of Franco Bertinelli at all, but was in fact an illegitimate child conceived between Maria Bertinelli and Santo Cassamento. When tasked with eliminating the Bertinelli family, Cassamento knew he couldn’t save the woman he loved, and instructed the assassin to spare their daughter instead.

SHANE: That’s kind of sweet, in a way.

RYAN: How is that sweet? She died! He let an assassin kill her!

SHANE: Yeah, but --- It’s like Romeo and Juliet!

RYAN: I’m not convinced you’ve read Romeo and Juliet.

SHANE: I saw the movie.

RYAN: Which one?

SHANE: The one with Leo.

RYAN: That one’s pretty good.

SHANE: Yeah! See, I don’t have to read it. No one needs to read when they can just watch Leo do all the hard work for them.

RYAN: That’s… No. 

SHANE: You heard it here first, kids! Reading’s for chumps!

RYAN: No!

RYAN, NARRATION: A second theory believes that Helena Bertinelli was spared accidentally. According to this theory, there were no secret instructions to spare her at all. Rather, the eight year old got lucky when she managed to avoid the onslaught of bullets that killed her family and survived by hiding beneath her mother’s body until most of the assassins cleared out. When one of the assassins was tasked with confirming the kills, he couldn’t bring himself to kill the little girl and instead arranged for her to be taken to safety in Sicily before telling his employer she was dead.

SHANE: That’s horrifying.

RYAN: What part? The part where she only survived by dumb luck, or the part where she hid under her mother’s body?

SHANE: Actually, I meant the bit where her hair got a little messy --- OF COURSE I MEAN HER HIDING UNDER HER MOTHER’S CORPSE, RYAN. What else would I possibly mean? Jesus.

RYAN: (wheeze) Yeah, that’s --- That’s obviously terrible. I mean, this story is horrifying for Helena Bertinelli no matter what theory is the truth. Even if none of them are the truth, it’s clearly a terrible situation for an eight year old to be in.

SHANE: Agreed.

RYAN, NARRATION: The final theory is perhaps the most tragic --- that Helena Bertinelli wasn’t spared at all. In this theory, Helena was killed alongside her family, and the woman using her name now is an imposter hoping to gain control of the Bertinelli fortune. 

RYAN: This might sound far-fetched ---

SHANE: --- Actually? I could see it.

RYAN: Really?

SHANE: Sure. I mean, a rich family happens to die and you bear enough of a passing resemblance to their eight year old to pass as her 20-something years later so you figure, why not give it a shot? It’s not like there are many people around to contest it.

RYAN: That’s true.

SHANE: I mean, what, the assassin who killed them is going to come forward now and say, ‘Hey, that’s not Helena Bertinelli! I know because I killed that kid!’

RYAN: (wheeze) Good point. I doubt the assassin is going to come in to disprove it. What about the, uh, the moral implications of posing as a dead eight year old to get her family’s dirty money?

SHANE: I mean… They’re not great? Obviously pretending to be a dead person for money isn’t awesome. 

RYAN: It is dirty money, though.

SHANE: Yeah, Ryan, but the eight year old didn’t have anything to do with that!

RYAN: Yeah, that’s true. It does feel pretty disrespectful.

SHANE: Hey, you know me --- I say let the dead be dead.

RYAN: Are you about to pick a fight about ghosts right now?

SHANE: Not unless you’re going to pull a ‘Helena Bertinelli is a ghost’ theory out of your ass.

RYAN: Well, now that you mention it…

SHANE: Uh uh. This episode is OVER, buddy. Save your bullshit for the Post Mortem.

RYAN: (wheeze)

RYAN, NARRATION: Who ordered the hits on the Bertinelli family? Why was their eight year old daughter spared? Was she spared? With the only potential witness to the crime itself a traumatized eight year old girl and the threat of retribution from the remaining members of Gotham’s Five Families preventing anyone from coming forward with more information, the truth behind this massacre will likely forever remain… unsolved.

WHAT UNSOLVED MYSTERY DO YOU WANT TO SEE NEXT?

[syncogon]

[QZGS TL] Butterfly Blue’s interview regarding the movie For the Glory (08/15/19)

Because the movie was released (and English subbed) online fairly recently, I thought I’d go back and translate this interview that BB did about it. It’s pretty long, but quite interesting! (As always, please let me know of any errors.)

bilibili interview link (remove spaces): https ://www.bilibili. com/video/av63863201/

Q: As this is the first movie of TKA, how did you choose the topic? A: We’ve already done a donghua, which already covers the plot of the main novel, so when we were picking the subject of the movie, we didn’t want to repeat a story that we’ve already told. I’d written some side stories [i.e. the prequel] earlier, which fills in a few stories of our characters during the ten years before the main story starts. So, we wanted to use the movie medium to help fill in the early stories or whatnot of our characters, so everyone can have a better understanding of these characters. Especially for people who might be curious about The King’s Avatar, or who might not have even heard of it before – if they watch our movie first, they’ll start from the very beginning and watch as these youths, with Ye Xiu as the focus, grow.

Q: When you were writing TKA, had you ever thought about Excellent Era’s Season 1 roster? A: Of the characters, only one was mentioned in the novel, that’s Wu Xuefeng, who was a most reliable helper at Ye Xiu’s side during the first years he won those championships. As for the others, in terms of characters, I hadn’t really thought about them when I was writing the main novel, because by that time in the story they’d all retired or they weren’t relevant to our main plot. But back then, because they were a team, players on a team all had their own accounts, and everyone’s accounts had a class. The classes were actually always maintained, Excellent Era had always passed them down. So, when we were making this movie, we maintained all of this. That is, every original character in the movie, the accounts they used, you’ll find that those IDs appear in the main novel – Excellent Era’s Elementalist, Spellblade, etc, they are all these same account IDs.

Q: Why was the first user of Peaceful Hermit changed from Guo Mingyu to Lu Liang? A: Oh, this is a bit awkward. While I was writing, I forgot, the one who I initially had – well I forget which it was but – anyway, I wrote two different first-generation users, so basically it was actually a mistake in writing, a bug. Then, in the movie, they helped me patch it up, so by using a plot point they were able to fix this mistake in the original that I could no longer go back and change myself, they were able to cover my error. So, we have two users, and between them they have a relationship of partnership and inheritance.

Q: Given that we already know that Excellent Era wins the Season 1 championship, how does the movie make matches more interesting and exciting? A: For this, we basically started from Excellent Era’s opponents at the time, Royal Style as a team. Following the original work, Ye Xiu had met a few friends in-game, and then under the support of an internet café boss, the eventual boss of Excellent Era, Tao Xuan, they formed a team. Their team was fairly grassroots. But we considered the world background as a whole, and Glory definitely wasn’t the only game, nor the only competitive esport. So under our understanding, in this profession, there are a number of professional teams, but Ye Xiu and the others aren’t a part of all this. In contrast, Royal Style is a professional team, but at the start, Glory wasn’t one of the games they played professionally. But after the Glory Pro League was established, the professional club Royal Style decided to create this kind of team to play in the Glory Pro League. So, compared to Ye Xiu and co’s background, Royal Style is more “professional,” more advanced along the professional path, they have professional systems or training methods, that’s the kind of team they are. And then, compared to Ye Xiu and the rest of them, Royal Style might be more cohesive, more powerful, with better training and logistical support backing them up. We hope that Ye Xiu can encounter such a powerful foe, so everyone can see how Ye Xiu was able to stand upon the summit of Glory in Season 1.

Q: When Ye Qiu gave the mask to Ye Xiu, was that because something changed about his attitude? A: From the fact that he brought the mask prepared to give to him, we can see that Ye Qiu’s attitude didn’t actually change. In their hearts, the two brothers understand each other. Ye Qiu knew that even if he came over here to find his brother, there was no way he would be able to bring his older brother back. So when he said you should go home etc etc, that was more just fulfilling his duties as the younger brother, or like this is a job the family gave me, but after he did that he immediately gave him the mask; he knew things would end up like this, there’s no way you’re coming back. But he also knew where his older brother’s qualms lay, or the things that would be inconvenient for him, so this mask demonstrates his understanding of and consideration toward Ye Xiu.

Q: What was the biggest pleasant surprise of this movie for you? A: For me, the biggest surprise was this one scene – so after Su Muqiu died, he left his account card to Su Mucheng, and during this time Su Mucheng was feeling very downhearted, and she kind of rejected this game. But then one day, she took this account card that her brother left her, and when she logged on, Dancing Rain’s avatar appeared, and the avatar said to her, something like, “did you miss me? I’m always here.” That moment was the most moving part of the movie for me, because when we were making this movie, we were really trying to let it have more positive energy, so we tried to focus on the esports and competitive spirit side of things. But in this moment, I saw the significance that ordinary games have in our lives. It doesn’t have to do with dreams or fighting spirit, but they enter our lives and bring to you thoughts and memories.

Q: Say something to the TKA fans on Bilibili! A: The fans on Bilibili are probably mostly those who watched the donghua, right, so I feel that, come watch our movie as well, see if you like it. Thank you everyone for your support all this time.  

(reading Weibo posts) “2019 June 16, I wrote down in my planner that on August 16 I had to go to the movie theater. 2019 July 16, I tragically received notice that my school’s military training was on August 16…” Well, August 16 is just the release date, we’ll be in theaters for a while after, you can just go later haha

“I saw Tao Xuan in the trailer. At that time, they were all going to the pro circle for their dreams, for their own Glory!! And now, Excellent Era’s things are still here but the people are no more…” This user is sighing emotionally about Tao Xuan. But even if Tao Xuan changed later, earning money is still a dream, we can’t think that just because of this he’s all that… it’s just that the road he took is different from Ye Xiu’s.

“Guo Mingyu, you think that just by changing your name you can get away from your debt?” [laughing] That’s my mistake!

“Zhang Jiale perfectly avoided all chances of appearance.” He actually does appear, everyone look closely!

“This TKA movie you speak of, is it a good watch?” [bb misspeaks at first lol: “quan zhi dian ying gao shou,” all-class movie expert] Of course it’s good, you’ll know when you see it!

Q: Why does Ye Xiu go on morning runs in the movie? Probably because we still wanted to have a movie with more positive energy, let him maintain a relatively healthy physical condition. After all, by the time we see him in the main novel he’s a 25-year-old player, and by the time he wins the championship again he’s already 27-28. For an esports player, that’s extremely old, but even at such an old age he could still maintain that good of a competitive condition. If we wrote that off as natural gift, that doesn’t seem very suitable, so when we were writing this prequel, we wanted to have an explanation for why even when Ye Xiu became so old and many people had already retired, he could maintain such a high competitive skill level. It’s because he had a foundation in taking care of his body.

Q: Why was Su Muqiu so focused on self-made weapons? A: Because he relied on gaming to raise his little sister, his family, so in my original design, the most fundamental reason he focused on Silver weapons was that it was profitable. He needed greater income or whatnot, so after he discovered that this game had these Silver weapons, his thoughts would go in that direction. Because we have a saying in-universe, “the strongest weapons are Silver weapons,” so this had the greatest utility for him, it was a very down-to-earth judgment, it was an opportunity that would provide the greatest payoff, so he put a lot of effort into this area. To be honest, I feel like his goals are almost a level above the later dreams and “for the championship,” because he was doing this for existence, for life, for his home, for his little sister. So, when he’s going all out for this, it’s closer to our real lives, closer to an ordinary person’s attitude.

Q: Why does One Autumn Leaf get long golden hair in the trailer? A: That was his Awakening skill during the finals match. In the novel, we can use words to describe how awesome something is, but this kind of scene in an animation, we want to visually show a character transformation, something that will immediately make people know, “the One Autumn Leaf in this moment is stronger,” let everyone perceive this feeling more directly. So, we made him enter this long golden hair, cooler and more dazzling state.

Q: When Ye Xiu was still the little captain, what was his guiding principle for leading Excellent Era? A: This is actually the story we tell in the movie, how he led the team in the beginning, and then how he established those “golden phrases” or “fundamental creeds,” of his, such as what might be his most famous “Glory isn’t a single-player game,” in the movie we can see how this statement became Ye Xiu’s core spirit. And then in the finals, we use that kind of battle to show how his teammates supported him until the very end, how he relied upon the help of every one of his teammates to defeat the opposing Royal Style, which was a powerful team with top-level pro players.

Q: What function did Wu Xuefeng serve in the team, as Excellent Era’s vice-captain? A: Mm, to me, Wu Xuefeng this person, he’s a bit older than Ye Xiu and the others. When Ye Xiu became the little captain, he was barely an adult, only 18 years old, and in comparison, Wu Xuefeng was more mature, more stable. On the team at the time, I feel that he was in a steadier condition than Ye Xiu was. At that time, Ye Xiu was still young, he could be impulsive, he could be volatile. But Wu Xuefeng, at his side, was a very reliable character, he was the godly needle that stabilized the ocean [i.e. in Journey to the West, the pillar in the ocean that Sun Wukong took to serve as his iconic weapon]. Whenever problems appeared in the team, he would be the one mediating, he would be more rational, he would be a more balanced and steady character. I feel that he was a very good vice-captain at the time. Ye Xiu’s most reliable helper, that was how we defined him.

Q: What was the turning point for Ye Xiu when he decided he wanted to become a pro player? A: Well, first, when he left home, he didn’t have a very clear goal in mind. His family didn’t want him to play games, so he wanted to come out and play some games. And then he met Su Muqiu and Su Mucheng, and they were together for a while. At first, I feel like his life state was pretty similar to Su Muqiu’s, he would just do some power-leveling or some other very ordinary things just to earn a living, he didn’t have a clear plan. But the turning point was when Glory this game appeared, it was like Su Muqiu discovering Silver weapons in this game. After seeing the complexity of this game, how widespread it was, the things that this game was establishing, as well as his own ability and skill with this game, I feel that it was a gradual, step-by-step process and he decided, or wanted to try, “can I become a pro player.” And he had partners beside him, partners like Su Muqiu, and his boss at the time Tao Xuan, and a few good friends in-game, and everyone began to come together on this tide, this opportunity was here, and so with everyone he successfully stepped onto this road – and never looked back.

[aion-rsa]

How Batman: Soul of the Dragon Pays Homage to 70s Kung Fu and Bruce Lee

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Batman: Soul of the Dragon sets Gotham’s caped crusader in a vintage martial arts homage. Directed by Sam Liu, who also directed the animated movie version of one of the greatest Batman graphic novels ever published, Batman: The Killing Joke, this is the 42nd project in the ongoing DC Universe Movies series.

However, Soul of the Dragon is an original tale, not based on a precedent comic. Like the eye popping anime-style film Batman Ninja, this is a completely stand-alone story. Batman: Soul of the Dragon is yet another chapter in the many creation tales for Batman. It tells of his martial indoctrination and joining him on this adventure are three of the best martial artists within the DC multiverse: Lady Shiva (Kelly Hu), Ben Turner a.k.a. Bronze Tiger (Michael Jai White), and Richard Dragon (Mark Dacascos). 

“It’s a 70s martial arts action-adventure drama with a great sense of humor,” says Dacascos. Like so many Hollywood martial arts stories, Batman: Soul of the Dragon is told in two time periods: the present-day problem and in flashbacks to the original martial arts lessons that offer solutions. It’s a storytelling motif that can be traced back to the pioneering David Carradine’s Kung Fu TV show and Bruce Lee’s iconic Enter the Dragon. 

In many ways, Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a tribute to Enter the Dragon, when the Kung Fu and blaxploitation genres were at their height. Richard Dragon is an homage to Bruce Lee’s character ‘Lee’ in Enter the Dragon (just like in so many Jackie Chan films, the name of Lee’s character was the same as his real name). In some scenes, he dons a similar black catsuit as Lee wore when infiltrating Han’s subterranean lair but stops short from yelling ‘Wataaah!’ when fighting. 

Enter the Dragon was a game changer for martial arts movies, but it was also in the wake of the popularity of spy films of those days, specifically James Bond. Enter the Dragon is also a spy film, and it came out at a pivotal time for the Bond franchise, the same year that Roger Moore took over 007 in Live and Let Die. The spy film genre was immensely popular during the Cold War of the ‘60s, but by the ‘70s, it was looking to reinvent itself to remain popular. Enter the Dragon had the potential to launch a spy franchise for Bruce Lee, but his untimely and shocking death cut that short. Tragically, he died just prior to the release of the film. In some ways, Richard Dragon makes us ponder what a sequel to Enter the Dragon might have been like.

With his groovy afro and jive talking banter, Ben Turner steals a page from the character of Williams (Jim Kelly) from Enter the Dragon too. Batman is faintly akin to Roper (John Saxon), a token white guy amidst a diverse cast. Even the funky soundtrack by Joachim Horsley echoes the music of Enter the Dragon’s composer Lalo Shiffrin. 

“In the 70s I was very impressionable,” reflects Dacascos. “The music brings you right back to that time. I love it. I love Enter the Dragon.” 

It’s ironic that Batman would honor Bruce Lee in this way. For many, the Batman TV show of the mid-60s was their first exposure to the Little Dragon. Lee’s earliest Hollywood role was Kato, the chauffeur of The Green Hornet, which became a spin-off series of Batman, running for a single season on NBC in 1966-67.

Who is Richard Dragon?

Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a complete reimagining of Richard Dragon. In the original comic storyline, Dragon was Richard Drakunovski, a Caucasian character. He first appeared in the novel, Dragon’s Fists: Kung-Fu Master Richard Dragon by Jim Dennis, which was published the year after Enter the Dragon premiered (Jim Dennis was a pseudonym, the combination of the two authors’ names Dennis O’Neil and Jim Berry). The character was later adapted to comics by DC. 

In the original DC version, Dragon was a classmate of Ben Turner, both of whom trained under O-Sensei (played by the venerable James Hong in Batman: Soul of the Dragon). Lady Shiva was also part of this Kung Fu lineage. O-Sensei’s goddaughter Carolyn Woosan was Lady Shiva’s sister. After Woosan was killed, Lady Shiva was tricked into thinking Dragon was at fault and hunted him to take revenge. Eventually, the trick was foiled so Shiva and Dragon became allies, united against a common foe. 

In the comics, the world of Batman doesn’t cross with Dragon’s until much later. Dragon goes on to become a trainer of many DC heroes, notably the first Batgirl, Barbara Gordon. In another story, he helps Batman rehabilitate after sustaining injuries from Bane. 

In a later alternate narrative arc, Dragon’s title is usurped by his villainous student, Richard Diaz Jr. This is akin to the Richard Dragon depicted in CW’s Arrow and portrayed by Kirk Acevedo. Bronze Tiger also appears in the Arrowverse portrayed by Michael Jai White, so Batman: Soul of the Dragon marks his reprisal of the role in the animated DC universe (As a side note, David Giuntoli voices Batman for Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Guintoli is married to Elizabeth Tulloch, who plays Lois Lane in the Arrowverse, including the forthcoming Superman and Lois).

However, neither Drakunovski nor Diaz figure into this latest incarnation of Richard Dragon in Batman: Soul of the Dragon. Here, he’s more like a Bruce Lee clone, only cooler. Dacascos didn’t follow the comics or the Arrowverse depiction. 

“Yeah, I did not know that at all,” he confesses. “The script was so good that everything I felt that I needed to portray him was already on the page….All of my information for the character I found in the brilliant script that Jeremy Adams wrote and the information that was given to me by our producers and our director Sam Liu.”

Nevertheless, Dragon was a dream role for Dacascos. As a longtime fan of Batman, his favorite live action portrayal was Michael Keaton. 

“I love his interpretation,” he says with a laugh. “There’s a sense of humor that he has and he stands out.” 

As soon as his manager and agents sent him the script, he was hooked. 

“I saw the description of DC Comics, Batman, Richard Dragon. And then I just jumped right into the script and after just a couple of pages, I knew I loved it. And the more I read, the more passionate I was about it. Before I even finished the script, I’d already emailed my representatives back and said, ‘Yes, please, please, please. I want to do this.’” Dacascos was tickled to be cast as his Kung Fu brother. “I’ve been privileged to play a character that is friends with Batman,” gushes Dacascos. 

Beyond being a bat-buddy, what really appealed to Dacascos was Dragon’s strong moral compass. 

“He’s not ignorant to the fact that evil is there, always has been, is, and will be,” explains Dacascos. “But with his training and his apparent good heart, he is able to maintain that battle with the negative, with the evil and take it on, maintaining his open heart and his sense of humor. I think his sense of humor is a part of his armor. He’s able to deflect with whimsy of the situation. He is a very loyal student, he is a very loyal friend, and I think his force – what drives him – is his love.”

From Stunt Work to Voice Work

By casting Dacascos, White, and Hu, Batman: Soul of the Dragon goes that extra step by placing genuine martial artists into animated roles. Throughout his teen years, Dacascos was a genuine martial arts champion. 

“The thing is,” says Dacascos humbly, “my parents are both martial arts teachers.” 

That’s an understatement. His father is Grandmaster Al Dacascos, a pioneering master in America who founded his own style of Wun Hop Kuen Do. His stepmother is Malia Bernal, a noted champion and coach of many other champions like Karen Shepherd. “My brother and I were basically forced into our first martial arts tournament at age six.” 

Dacascos began his acting career in martial arts films, several of which were groundbreaking. His earliest lead role was in Only the Strong which was the first film to showcase the Brazilian martial art Capoeira. Brotherhood of the Wolf was a unique French period horror Kung Fu mash up that completely broke the mold for the martial arts genre. Having such an extensive background in the martial arts informed Dacascos on how to approach the fight scenes. 

“As a martial artist, all I have to do is just think about it and I’m feeling it again,” he says. “So that part felt like going back home. When we were doing the action sequences, I just gave myself space to move around and then take the direction from Sam Liu and went for it…It’s all in your head and in your heart, and of course in your breath.”

Dacascos loved how the fight scenes in Batman: Soul of the Dragon came out, so much so that he’s contemplating bringing it to live action in his own way. 

“I thought what would be really fun for me to do is actually in real life physicalize the forms, that form that Richard Dragon does,” he says. “So I’m going to maybe make it a little challenge for myself and learn those moves in real life…I would love to be Richard Dragon in real life. He’s really cool.”

In many ways, Batman: Soul of the Dragon feels more like a creation story for Richard Dragon than a typical Batman story. Batman is almost a secondary character. With Marvel making such strides in diversity with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings anticipated for summer 2021, DC needs to up its inclusion game. Could this be a stepping stone for Richard Dragon to become his own franchise? 

“I hope so,” confesses Dacascos. “I hope that Batman: Soul of the Dragon continues and we do a sequel or series.” 

While he is hopeful that there’s a future for Dragon, it’s the spirit of Batman: Soul of the Dragon that he finds most motivating. Like the title says, it’s got a lot of soul. “The thing is, it’s so much more than that because of the lessons that the students learn in the martial arts sequences taught by the wonderful James Hong who plays O-Sensei. The lines that Jeremy Adams wrote are so profound, and like any great teachers, they transcend the martial arts. It’s so much more philosophical and deeper. So, the story has the martial arts action, but it has heart, and it’s sexy, and it still has a great sense of humor.”

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a direct-to-video film produced by DC Entertainment and Warner Brothers Animation premiering on digital platforms on January 12, 2021. 

The post How Batman: Soul of the Dragon Pays Homage to 70s Kung Fu and Bruce Lee appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3nzf5HJ

[jooniesmind]

Whispering Shadows pt.1

pairing: Park Jimin x Jeon Jungkook

genre: supernatural, ghost whisperer!Jimin, ghost!Jungkook, angst

word count: 1.3 k

next

Being a ghost whisperer is tough. It's one of those things that people find cool and kind of a superpower. But it's not. Being a ghost whisperer comes with a lot of responsibilities, and even though most ghosts are completely harmless, you have to deal a lot of angry, broken, devastated people that are left behind, waiting for answers that most of the time, you don’t have.

It's an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you're scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. Jimin didn't have many friends growing up. He just had, well, his ghost friends. The ghosts that just, wondered on the earth, pointlessly, and they got a liking in him because, well, he could see them. At first, he didn't realize he was different, and he couldn't understand why no one else could see his friends. No one except for his mom.

Once he got in high school, she explained that it's a gift, passed down from previous generations. Jimin's decision to never have kids was never more set in his brain from then on. Although adoption is a thing, so who knows? But a ghost whisperer being afraid of ghosts? Yes, he knew it was pretty dumb, and he hated it almost as much as he hated himself. It was just something about knowing that those people are dead now, made him not want to interact with them.

Maybe because the death of his dad at such a young age was too much for him to handle. And maybe the fact that he kept seeing him after he saw him getting buried was not very kind for his childhood brain. Jimin hated his "gift".

He actively avoided talking to ghosts, especially if they were old and injured. He could handle kids, somehow. Someone would think that dealing with kids would be worse, but it was easier to him. Mostly because kids didn't really understand what happened to them. They knew they were dead, but they didn't really know what it meant. He was never sure what his part was. His mom died before she got the chance to explain. Whenever he saw a kid wondering lost, he always made sure to leave them in good hands of some other ghost whisperer.

People would be amazed at how many they actually were. Jimin didn't feel special. No, there was no special snowflake syndrome going on there. He felt cursed. He always knew when he talked to a ghost. Their eyes and mannerisms and their smell, God the smell was unbearable. Could be because his sense of scent was intense, or maybe he really just didn't fucking like ghosts.

After leaving yet another little girl to the neighborhood's active whisperer, he got home, exhausted from his day at university. He tried ignoring his ability for years, but the problem is that ghosts can detect whisperers just like whisperers can detect ghosts. So that was a pretty rude way of them just rubbing it in his face, while simultaneously giving him plenty of near-death experiences, which, ironic.

Once he got into the house, he turned the lights on and threw his keys in the bowl next to the door. He took a look at his living room and found himself on the floor, after screaming his lungs out. He remained on the floor, paralyzed from fear. This had never happened before. How did a ghost get in there? What was he supposed to do?

"What are you doing here?" he managed to ask in a shaking voice

The ghost looked at him with his white eyes and blinked a few times. He then smiled softly and sat on the couch. His couch.

"Oh thank goodness" he said, his voice cold and a bit distorted. He didn't sound relieved. He sounded like he was lying "I just had a terrible nightmare"

Jimin was still on the floor, waiting for his heart to stop at any minute and his ghost joining the strange dude. As the ghost stayed quiet, looking into the void, playing with the ends of his old fashioned clothes, Jimin could sense something weird. There was something different about this one

"Do you mind if I tell you?" the ghost asked, looking at Jimin, making him even more frightened. He still nodded, thinking that talking was better than the dead silence, pun intended. He also noted how kind this boy was. He tried to slowly get up, and the ghost gestured for him to sit next to him. Jimin stared at him for a bit. Weird. "I and my parents got aboard. It was wonderful until we went back to our cabins. I fell asleep and then-" he stopped "And then cold. So cold. It was sinking. We couldn't open the door. When I tried to call for my parents, my head was already underwater" silence for a few moments "what a terrible nightmare" he smiled but it was fake.

"Aboard where?" Jimin asked awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

The young man looked at him "The Titanic of course"

Jimin's eyes grew bigger at the mention. An old one. He hadn't encountered any ghosts that were so old, neither ones that didn't know they had died. He took a good look at him. His skin was blue, and he had ice on his eyebrows and hair and cheeks and lips. Still, he could see he was a very handsome man. Every time he spoke, a bit of water escaped his lips but he didn't even seem to notice

"What's your name?"

"Jeon Jungkook" he smiled "I'm sorry, I don't remember yours. Everything feels fuzzy"

Jimin swallowed harshly "Park Jimin"

"Park Jimin. Where am I, exactly?" he asked as if he suddenly realized he's not where he should be

"Jungkook" Jimin hesitantly held his cold hand, he could feel the water still on it

"Am I still dreaming?"

You're dead. That's what Jimin should've said. But seeing this young boy shake in fear was just unbearable to watch.

He smiled "Yes. You're still sleeping"

The smile on his face was worth it. He let out a sigh of relief and held Jimin's hand too. Jimin could swear he almost felt a bit of warmth

"You're such a pretty young man, I wonder where I've seen you without noticing you" Jungkook said with a big smile "We're visiting my young sister you know. She's waiting for us" a bit of the water fell on Jimin's hand and he was about to lose it, but the boy was so relieved, he couldn't help but feel a bit happy for him, while feeling terrible for his sister

"Jungkook, you have to wake up" Jimin said, for some reason feeling sad, almost guilty, as if he was killing him all over again.

Jungkook nodded "You're right, mother will want me to sing to her, it helps with her pains"

Jimin closed his eyes, hating how this sweet boy died so tragically for no reason at all

"Hey Jimin, could you maybe sing to me? It helps me fall asleep. If you fall asleep in your dream you wake up in real life, right?"

Jimin smiled bitterly "Of course"

He started humming a lullaby his mom used to sing him to sleep with, feeling the other boy leaning on his shoulder.

"Jimin?"

"Yes?"

"I'm very cold"

His breath hitched "Your blankets probably fell off, silly"

"I'm scared"

Silence. Of course he was scared. Somewhere deep down he knew. Jimin bit his lower lip. He held the boy’s hand and placed his free one between his wet, frozen hair

"Close your eyes Jungkook. I'm here with you. I'll be with you until you fall asleep and wake up in your bed, okay?"

"Thank you Jimin"

Why was he crying? He tried to wipe his tears, sparing Jungkook from any more fear

"Jimin?" this time was more hesitant

"Yes, Jungkook?"

"I really don't want to die, Jimin" He looked at the young boy, but he was already gone.

His couch was soaking wet, just like his shirt on his shoulder. He couldn't care less. He brought his legs to his chest and pressured them against his body, as he leaned on his arms and cried for a boy dying over a century ago. That was not a gift. It was a curse. And he hated it.

[mst3kproject]

Iron Warrior

 Why yes, there is a fourth Ator movie!  Technically, this is the third Ator movie.  Whereas Ator, the Fighting Eagle, The Blade Master (aka Cave Dwellers) and Quest for the Mighty Sword were all made by Aristide Massaccesi (aka Joe D’Amato), Iron Warrior was made by Alfonso Brescia (aka Al Bradley).  Massaccessi supposedly hated it because it wasn’t true to his vision for Ator or something.  Myself, I was kind of intrigued.  What would a different take on Ator be like?

Well, I don’t know how he managed, but Alfonso Brescia pulled it off.  He made an Ator movie that makes even less sense than the other Ator movies.

The evil sorceress Phaedra used to rule this land, but then some fellow witches (I’m gonna call them Bellerians) banished her into darkness and installed a puppet king. Eighteen years later, however, Phaedra’s sentence is up and she has returned, with a legion of skull-faced minions and an indestructible cyborg named Drogar.  They kill the king and kidnap his heir, Princess Gianna.  The Bellerians therefore call upon Ator to rescue her, which he does, and then the Bellerian Leader tells them they must go on a quest to retrieve the only thing that can defeat Phaedra and free Drogar, who is also Ator’s brother, from her clutches – the Golden Chest of the Ages!  With that in hand, they head back to be crowned King and Queen of wherever this is, only to learn too late that Phaedra replaced the real Golden Chest with a fake!

According to the end credits, ‘script continuity’ was the job of somebody named Mirella Gamacchio.  I can only assume she was drunk as shit the entire time, because this movie is nothing but a series of “wait… what just happened?” moments.

There’s a bit where Phaedra decides to kill Ator before he can rescue Gianna.  She can’t just Thanos-snap him out of existence because the Bellerians have taken that power away from her, so she takes the form of a beautiful woman, lets him rescue her from random thugs, sleeps with him, locks him in a cabin, and burns the cabin down.  That seems like an over-complicated plan, somehow.  Also, Ator escapes by hiding under a wet bear rug.

To kill the king, Drogar telekinetically makes all the decorative weapons mounted on a wall fly into him and run him through.  Then Phaedra replaces the dead king and the kidnapped princess with imposters who look nothing like them and nobody at court seems to notice.  Later, Ator fights Drogar in the same weapons-adorned room and I kept waiting for the psychic stabbing thing to happen again, but it doesn’t.  Instead, Ator and Drogar throw spears at each other and keep catching them.  Finally Drogar throws two spears at once, and Ator catches one while Gianna pops up out of absolutely nowhere to catch the other, despite never having the slightest hint she was able to do something like that!

Later later, Gianna gets kidnapped by the skull-faced minions and thrown into a dungeon where her father is hanging in a doorway, with the spears still through him but apparently still alive.  He begs her for help, and then she suddenly reappears in Ator’s arms wearing a green dress instead of the red one she’s had on so far. This is one of several occasions on which I was absolutely sure that the ‘Gianna’ we were seeing was going to turn out to be Phaedra in disguise, and in this instance I was especially certain about it because green is Phaedra’s colour.  I was wrong. Even at the climax, when I was absolutely convinced the whole thing had to be a trick, the woman who looks like Gianna was always the real Gianna.  I think.

After Phaedra gets the chest, Ator and Gianna are halfway through their coronation ceremony when suddenly Ator’s in the middle of nowhere surrounded by Sand Nazis, and Gianna’s dangling off a cliff with Phaedra sitting there mocking her.  How did that happen?  Phaedra tells her that life is an illusion, which for a moment left me wondering if anything in this movie really happened?  Perhaps the whole bit when Gianna was in the green dress was just some kind of dream?  I have no idea.  Anyway, Ator beats up the Sand Nazis and then goes and shoves a torch down Phaedra’s throat, which turns out to be her weakness for some reason.  Where did that come from?  I dunno.  Then he has just concluded that Gianna must have fallen and died when he hears her calling him, and goes to untie her from where she’s sitting on a rock.  They embrace and Gianna smiles in an evil kind of way, but as far as I can tell it’s still the real Gianna because we next see Phaedra captured by the Bellerians again!  They sentence her to something else and then giggle in delight because Ator and Gianna have fallen in love.

I don’t know why Ator was worried about Gianna falling to her death anyway, because there are several points in this movie in which one or both of the couple plummet into a bottomless abyss only to wake up completely unharmed.  This is slightly plausible when they leap off a cliff into the water, but what about when they fall from a rope bridge into a deep canyon and wake up lying on rocks in a cave?  Are they indestructible?

Drogar is supposedly indestructible, which means the moment when Ator is forced to run him through is one I expected to be another trick. After all, the same thing happened earlier and Drogar just collapsed into a pile of clothes like Obi-Wan Kenobi. No, this time he’s actually dead, and Ator takes his helmet off and finds another Miles O’Keefe underneath. I think we’re supposed to assume that Phaedra discarded Drogar because she no longer needed him?  I’m sure it’s supposed to be a tragic moment when Ator has to kill his brother, but Ator didn’t seem particularly reluctant to do so.  I also think the helmet removal is supposed to remind us of Luke Skywalker’s little vision quest moment in Empire Strikes Back when he found his own face under Darth Vader’s mask, but I cannot suggest a reason why other than ‘the writer thought that was neat’.

What is even with the Ator-has-a-brother thing?  Wasn’t Ator raised by stick merchants in Solachek along with a sister he eventually married?  Fuck it, I’m gonna assume Ator is like Maciste, and his backstory resets with every movie.  The way the movie works out, the ‘brothers’ thing is never important anyway.  It’s treated as if it’s going to be – we know the revelation is coming from the opening scene and we’re teased with it a few times along the way, but when it actually arrives it has no effect on the plot whatsoever!

So yes, Iron Warrior tries to make you feel many things, but the only one you actually feel at the end of the movie is intense confusion.  The characters never have any personality so you can’t get invested in them or their relationships.  Elisabeth Kaza as Phaedra is having a fabulous time hamming up the evil, but everybody else has their Very Serious Movie faces on and mostly just looks bored. The special effects are basic at best, and the music sounds like an early 2000’s PC game loading.

Costumes and hair are bizarre.  Ator has traded his mile-high meringue hairdo for a tight braid that makes him look weirdly like Alicia Vikander on the Tomb Raider poster. Gianna has a hairdo that looks like a centurion’s helmet and wanders around the wilderness in a filmy red dress with her nipples visible right through it.  The leader of the Bellerians dresses like a budget Queen Amidala. Like previous Ator films (or Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell), there is no sense of any attempt to build a consistent world.  They just threw together a bunch of stuff that looked cool.

The movie was shot on the Maltese island of Gozo, and makes the place look like it’s made entirely of barren rocks.  There are lots of neat formations and forbidding cliffs, and it’s all very spectacular.  Unfortunately, it’s also very obvious that we’re seeing the same neat rock formations and forbidding cliffs over and over again.

As far as analyzing the movie… I don’t think I can do that. There’s not really enough substance there to analyze.  The closest Iron Warrior comes to doing anything meaningful is when it tries to use a furry toy ball as a symbol of the bond between brothers.  When we meet Ator and Drogar as children, they’re chucking this tribble at each other through some ruins, and it reappears a couple of times in attempts at foreshadowing.  The problem is that there is no bond between Ator and Drogar, and the fact that they’re brothers is, as I said, ultimately unimportant.

The impression I get from this movie is that it was written by somebody who had no idea how to tell a story.  The writers, Steven Luotto and Alfonso Brescia, have clearly seen movies (they’ve definitely seen the original Star Wars trilogy) and know that they have things like attractive stars, special effects, stunning revelations, and dream sequences, but they don’t know how to put those together into a plot, or what purposes they should serve within one.  The result is completely incoherent.  To my own astonishment I totally understand why Massaccesi hates this movie.  Ator, the Fighting Eagle and The Blade Master might have been made up on the fly, but they still made more sense than this!

[iredreamer]

I love and adore your scene breakdowns (discovering your blog has cleared my skin, watered my crops and brought peace to the valley- would you ever want to do one for the bit where Ann is hallucinating while her friend and Anne are staying at Crow Nest? And also do you know how much of that is true to life? Like, did Ann actually say that their relationship was repungnant, did she actually think about gay men being hanged? No demand though ofc and apologies if you've talked about this already.

hey :) thank you so much you’re too sweet

And now, first I’m gonna answer your questions about the real Ann Walker and then I’m gonna do the scene breakdown.

I’ve not read of Ann saying she thought their relationship was “repugnant”, I don’t know if she ever used that word (I don’t think she ever did but I could be wrong). Till now I’ve not came across it while reading the journals. Anyway, the situation was far more complex in reality. In Ann Walker’s life, sex, love and death had always been linked in some very tragic and unfortunate way (all her family basically died, one of her past “lovers” died, Mrs Ainsworth died and she, AW, committed adultery with Mr Ainsworth). She thought that all the death that surrounded her was somehow her fault. After the Ainsworth thing she starts developing a fixation on her sins. She writes to Anne: “It is not only death in this world, but a far worse death that I fear. If ever the prayers of a so true friend may ever avail for another, may yours be heard for me this night, that the gate of Mercy may not be forever closed upon me, for I am wretchedness itself”. Basically when her friend, Mrs Ainsworth, dies, Ann is reminded of her “thing” with Reverend Ainsworth and that’s what really breaks her, she feels guilty and ashamed. This leads to Ann Walker reconsidering her relationship with Anne Lister and asking herself how it would appear in the eyes of God. And this is when she starts to think that her “connection” with Anne is wrong and a sin.

In real life Ann’s condition was even worse than what we see in the series. From the companion book: “Fearing that she was approaching death, Ann begged Anne to read extracts from the bible aloud. Anne selected and ‘paraphrased the 10th of Matthew’, but it seemed that Ann was unable to be reached by its message of resilience and healing. Instead she preferred to cast herself as the subject of ‘Genesis Epistle, St James 1.6′, whose lack of absolute faith in the Lord’s ability to heal destined them to be cast adrift, ‘driven and tossed by the wind, like a wave in the sea’”. Their views on religion and faith were very very different. Anne Lister had reconciled her sexuality and her faith perfectly and she thought that if God made her like that, then there was nothing wrong with her. Ann Walker basically thought the opposite. The only one that could make AW feel a little bit better was AL. By January 1833 Anne Lister slept at Lidgate regularly.

“Did she actually think about gay men being hanged?”: November 27, 1832 > She [Ann Walker] had doubted whether it was right to engage herself to me if this sort of thing was so bad between two men it must be so …. I answered this in my usual way it was my natural & undeviating feeling etc. etc. but said I the moral responsibility is already incurred. She seemed better satisfied & asked me to go on Thursday – she is going tomorrow saying she would not let Mss P- [Miss Parkhill] go to Pye Nest & Mrs Dysons by herself for fear evidently of her gossip about us. [SH:7/ML/E/15/0155]. This is the only bit I came across where the Ann(e)s discuss male homosexuality.

In GJ all this happens in just one/two episode/s but in reality this thing went on for months. Ainsworth writes to AW for the first time on the 1st of November 1832 and he keeps writing for quite some time. AW’s health keeps getting worse and worse month after month till she basically has a mental breakdown and goes to live with her sister in Scotland in February 1833.

Now, going back to the fictional Ann(e)s, about that scene…the first thing I wanna say is that I love how Anne Lister reacts to it all. You can see how her attitude changes as the scene progresses and she understands that what Ann’s going through is really bad, worse than what she thought. From the way she replies to Ann at the beginning, and just from her facial expressions, it’s clear that she thinks this whole thing is just a big joke (not in the sense that she doesn’t believe Ann, but in the sense that for her, for Anne, all that’s happening doesn’t make any sense). Anne’s first reaction is almost dismissive, but her voice when she replies is sweet and calm: “Can you hear that?” – “What, the wind?” – Her answers are logical and sarcastic – ”And what are they saying about me?” – “You’re going to die.” – “Well, yes, eventually.” – She tries to reason with Ann, she tries to make her understand that what she’s hearing is just the wind or the noises of the house, nothing more. But when Ann says – “Don’t be glib!” – Anne starts to change her attitude.

As the scene goes on and Ann says more and more stuff about the voices she hears, Anne becomes more and more serious – “When you say voices, how many can you hear?” – “Ann, do you recognize the voices?” – “Are they always the same voices?” – She stops being dismissive or sarcastic and she starts really paying attention. I love this because it shows that she is a very good observer and she’s very quick to see the importance of the situation and understand what the person she’s with (AW in this case) really needs. She does this many times in the series and it’s one of her character traits I love the most.

I also love how physical she is during this scene. She’s always touching Ann, caressing her, holding her hands, holding her head to her chest, kissing her head. This is how Anne reassures Ann and shows her support, we’ve seen her do this in other occasions: in the scene in 1x03, when Ann’s on the floor, crying because she thought Anne wasn’t gonna come back to her and at the end of 1x05, after Ann tells Anne about Reverend Ainsworth. And I think it’s very important that AL not only gives emotional support but that she also gives physical support. Anne Lister understands that what Ann’s going through is not only emotionally exhausting but also physically exhausting, and she’s there for it, for all of it.

“They’re going to kill you as well as me, and we’ll both burn in hell for all eternity! Everlasting torment in hellfire!“ – In the bible it’s said that sinners who have committed a mortal sin will burn in hell for all eternity. And this is what Ann Walker believes. Ann believes to have committed a mortal sin, she was aware of the sinful act and its gravity and she committed it deliberately. When AW says they’re going to “burn in hell”, AL answers – “What? No!” – This is also an interesting reference to what real Anne Lister thought about all this, in fact she doubted the doctrine of “everlasting torment in hellfire” (”Miss Rawson and I agreed we doubted the doctrine of everlasting torment in hellfire” – 10th February 1833), she probably didn’t believe God could actually let someone burn in hell for all eternity. This shows us how different the Ann(e)s are from each other, and how Anne Lister used to “interpret” the bible in the way that suited her most, while Ann used to observe the common doctrine.

Ann talks about hearing three voices – “Men. Sometimes, there’s a woman.” – If you go back and watch Ann’s nightmare the only three distinctive voices we hear are of two men and a woman. Ann is repeating, in some way, what she heard in her dream: “Anyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in their heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, rip it out! Burn in hell! If your right hand causes you to sin. Cut it off! For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body goes to hell! Hell was created for the devil and his angels. It was a place made for everlasting torment and punishment.“

All this is a paraphrased version of what’s written in the bible about adultery: Matthew 5:29 > “And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” and Matthew 5:30 > “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” These two sections happen right after Jesus said: “everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.“ And then about hell, Matthew 25:41 > “Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels“.

Ann tries to find some peace saying the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever and ever. Amen.“ She’s asking God to help her know His will, she’s asking to be forgiven for her sins, she’s asking for mercy. And she repeats this again and again while holding the Book of Common Prayer AL gave her.

So, I don’t really know where I’m going with this but, yes, all AW’s torments (in real life and in the series) come from the fact that she was unable to reconcile her sexuality and her desires with her faith and her religion. 

Other things about this scene that caught my attention and could be endlessly analyzed: • Anne’s calm and controlled energy that helps Catherine Rawson to deal with the situation and be a little less frightened of Ann • Anne saying “I was in my room next door” and making you go “was she in the room next door?” because she says it so naturally and she sounds so convincing (she has probably used that excuse many times before) that for a split second you believe her even if you know she was not sleeping in the next room • How Anne takes the weights out of the clock herself to get rid of anything that could disturb Ann’s sleep and how this really happened (she didn’t do it herself tho) • Ann Walker just clinging to Anne Lister as soon as Anne is back in the room because Anne is the only one who can make her feel a little better even if she’s also one of the reasons why she feels so bad. And of course Sophie Rundle who is just brilliant in this scene.

I’m gonna end this with two stupid things that I love lol 1. the face Anne makes after Ann told her that the voices are “in the clock” cracks me up. 2. how hot is Anne turning on that thing with which she lights the candle????

Well, I don’t know if I answered you, I hope I have :) have a nice day!