#my 2025 has not been going well lol
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January, February, March
April, May, June
July, August, September
October, November, December
a piece from each month of 2024
#all from the month they were created and not the month they were fired#I didn’t include any commissions#I wanted it to be all my own designs#my 2025 has not been going well lol#but I made some good things last year#and eventually I will make more of them#pottery#ceramics#ceramic#ceramic art#sgraffito#carving#underglaze painting#little dudes#sculptural#glazeware#greenware
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Early Gift
title : Early Gift
pairing : Jungkook x Reader
genre : kpop smut, bts smut, jungkook smut , very dirty content
warning : doggy style, missionary, spitting, choking, name - calling , dirty talk, hair pulling , edging , christmas sex , scratching , 21+ content
Summary :
“This is where you tell me merry christmas and bend over that counter, questions?”
[CHRISTMAS REQUEST]
[Ya’ll … i’ve been SO SICK you have no idea but i am back idk what’s been going on with my schedule but i will stay consistent all 2025 !! Merry Christmas, Happy New year .. this is dropping after christmas lol <3]
!PURELY FICTION! !NOT REAL!
do not steal idea or story without permission please and thank uu :))
Legooooooo
_________________________________________________
“Alright we got food , drinks , and the others are on their way over here” “W-Who?” I asked Jimin who looked up at me. “The others ! Our friends?” “Ok .. who, exactly” Jimin sighed, crossing his arms. “Yes Jungkook is going to be here!” “IN MY HOUSE!?” “Y/N don’t start this, you agreed and i’m pretty sure you had a feeling he was going to be here” “Ok i didn’t wanna believe it!” Jimin raised an eyebrow, having me sigh.
“Chim does he have to be here?” “Set aside your differences, and let’s have a good stay! it’s just a couple of days, it’s gonna be ok” “How you know i’m gon be ok?!” “Because my feelings never lie, they’re always right” I huffed, rolling my eyes as i leaned one arm on the counter. “Now, they’ll be here any moment … i say let’s get dressed so we can go out for a luh bit” I sulked my way all up the stairs, really not wanting to face that bitch of a man. “Cut it out! I’ll meet you in the car!” Jimin yelled from downstairs, making me take a deep breath.
You and I both know he’s not a ‘bitch of a man’, he’s the sexiest man on this earth. I have a huge crush on him, who wouldn’t .. difference is , they shoot their shot. I on the other hand flip it and make the other individual hate me. Except, that didn’t work. Instead, we had sex.
And it was amazing.
Then i found a way to avoid all parts possible, but now i cant .. because hes gonna be in MY house, in MY face … a part of me is excited, and another part of me hates myself for even having the crush in the first place. But hey, what could happen? Of course not anything bad, right?
I made it down the stairs and went outside, locking the door behind me and made it into Jimin’s passenger seat. “They’re behind us” My eyes widened, looking behind me and saw the rest coming out the multiple cars. “WHAT?!” “You should’ve hurried, maybe you wouldn’t have to witness” “Hey yall where yall goin?” “Me and Jimin goin out for a little bit, we’ll be back” I responded to Joon who was leaning against my side of the car. “Alright we’ll get everything ready for tonight. Jin found a spot so we’ll wait till yall get back to discuss it” We nodded in agreement.
Wishing i didn’t wonder my eyes elsewhere, to see Jungkook walking past us, but locking eyes with me in the process. I quickly looked away, my heart beating fast as all i wanted Jimin to do was to drive. “You saw kook didn’t you” “Drive Jimin” “Ok my bad” Jimin and Joon fist bumped before Jimin drove out my parkway and drove off.
“You know, you could just … talk to him” “Jimin don’t piss me off” “What! I can tell you right now kook has been missing you and wondered why you blocked him!” “YOU KNOW WHY I BLOCKED HIM! You think i didn’t feel a certain type of way when he took that girl out on that date !? I was crushed Jimin, i was hurt. And i know it’s my fault because i wanted him to hate me but the least he could’ve known was that i was crushing on him” “Well Y/N he blocked the girl, his eyes are on you … and my spirit says, sum stuff is gon happen” Jimin responded, making my heart beat even faster.
Jimin never lies, it’s like he predicts the future. So it’s best to trust his gut.
Time Skip .
“We’re back already?” “It’s been an hour, let’s go stop being scared” I sighed, getting out the car and went inside the house. “Where yall go?” “Oh it was just this hangout spot, it’s pretty cool i think we should all go down there tonight” Jimin responded to Jihyo as she attatched to me. “That was the spot Jin was saying! Ok we’re all on the same page on that” Joon said and we all nodded. “When we wanna leave?” “We could leave in a couple of minutes .. how about 2 of us stay back for a little bit to fix sum things then join us when it’s done?” Hobi said and everyone nodded.
“It’s only 7:30 .. who wants to take the task?” “Well it’s my house, so i’ll take responsibility” I spoke up, still linked arms with Jihyo. “Cool .. i’ll stay too, i’m quick” Jungkook spoke up, locking eyes with me as my pupils was quick to disappear. “Huh-“ “I think that’s a good idea, yall gon get the job done” Lisa said, smirking at me as my heart rate went up again.
I’m cooked .
“Why can’t Hobi-“ “Ohhh no no. Yall got that. I’m gon get ready” Everyone left in sync to get ready and i looked at Jihyo. “Don’t do this-“ “You’re gonna be just fine” Jihyo responded, squeezing my arm before leaving as well. I slowly walked towards my empty kitchen, not aware that Jungkook was right behind me. “Jungkook?” “Glad to know you still know my presence” I sighed as he made his way towards the other side of the counter.
Everything about him .. it’s insane.
“Why .. why are you - putting me in this position?” “Question is, why did you put me in a position where i couldn’t fucking reach you !?” I blinked, shocked at his voice raise. He’s hurt, i see it. “Now you’re quiet .. i WANT you, Y/N. I took that girl on that date ok sure .. but you blocked me !? You blocked me to a point where i couldn’t even reach you through any of our friends Y/N why you put me in that situation !?” I sighed, lookin at the counter as i didn’t know what to say.
“Hey we’re out let us know if you need anything alright? Yall good?” I looked behind me to see Jimin. “Yea we good” Jimin looked at me and i nodded in agreement before he left and left the house.
It was just us two.
“Look .. there’s things you don’t know Jungkook” “Ok that’s fine, i’m here for it all - why, am i blocked?” “I like you Jungkook! And you fucking know that we had sex for gods sake! You took that bitch on that date what else could i have done i was crushed! I was hurt! But who would’ve known you would be in front of me right now considering i thought i was doing a pretty great job staying hidden!” Jungkook sighed, a little smirk showing up on his face.
“Oh what’s so funny? WHATS SO FUNNY-“ “You’re gonna lower your tone” I huffed, rolling my eyes. “Come here” “Why?” “Y/N” I sighed, slowly going towards him and was now in front of the tall, smell good looking man. “I didn’t deserve, any of that bullshit that you decided to pull,” Jungkook said, his tone lowering as he dug his hands in his pockets. “And how you’re gonna make it up to me Is bending over that counter” My eyes widened a little, not daring to break eye contact as his face showed nothing but seriousness. “What-“ “Oh don’t act all shocked like we never done it .. how eager you were to do whatever i say. I still don’t see you bent over that counter”
I gulped, going in front of him and bent over the clean marble counter, arching my back naturally. “Good girl, tell daddy what you want” “Y-You .. i want you, please” “Why should i even, consider this? After what you done, i was hurt Y/N” “J—Just consider this as an … an early christmas gift yea? I need you, i want you. Daddy please” Jungkook hummed, his hand cupping and now playing with my aching pussy through the sweats i had on making my eyes roll.
“F-Fuck … daddy, like that” “You’re wet as shit. Merry christmas to me then. Top of the counter” I got on the counter, Jungkook taking my sweats and panties off and my warm hood was exposed to him. “I’m gonna have a field day” Jungkook smirked before diving in, slurping and sucking all that i had in me making me jolt in surprise. “F-FUCK, Oh my god, daddy!” “Hold still princess” He held my thighs in place, sucking me out with all his might.
I can’t believe i agreed to this, you know what? I can’t complain. I’m loving it.
“Fuck, i feel like im close already!” “You wanna cum baby? Why should i let you cum huh, what you think” “Pease .. daddy i’m sorry, i apologize i just missed you. I missed you daddy please let me cum. Let me cum please” He shyly smiled, working his tongue and pleasure rode over my body. “Gon head, cum for me. Show daddy how much you’ve missed him” I threw my head back, my eyes shut and soon came all over his face, seeing the sly smirk he hid as he sucked all the cum outta me.
“Good girl, that’s the good girl i know” “Shut up” Jungkook chuckled, taking me off the counter and turning me around, planting soft kisses on my shoulders and neck. “Feel that?” Jungkook whispered in my ear, rubbing the hard cock across my lower back causing my breath to hitch. “You know,” Jungkook started as he slowly inserted his cock inside of me. “How would you know that i even liked the girl anyway?” “Easy .. you don’t care ‘bout no other bitch but me” Jungkook smirked, humming to himself as he laid me down gently over the counter. “Sounds about right” Jungkook responded before unexpectedly began to vigorously fuck me.
He gets on my last damn nerve.
“SHIT! A warning would be fucking nice” “Oh shut up” His grip on my hips tightened, fucking me with not a single ounce of mercy in him. “It feels so good, fuck! Just like that, just like thAT! DADDY FUCK!” “Ooh there you go baby, i need you to nut again for me ok? Just for me alright?” “Yes d-daddy” “Good girl” He continued to fuck me, abusing the sensitive spot in me as heat rushed all over my body. It felt too good, almost surreal. It’s been so long.
“I-I’m close .. daddy, i’m close” “There it is” He twisted a handful of hair in his hand and yanked my head back to meet his eyes. “Now you listen, don’t ever think of blocking me, ignoring me again in your godamn life because i am not the one. I suffered godamn it for a long period of time, and i’ve got you again, under me like a little bitch whimpering and shit - you will not, pull some bullshit like this again you understand?” “Y-Yes daddy, i’m so-sorry!” “I can’t hear you” “I-I’M SORRY! Please let me cum!” “That’s what i thought, come on”
Jungkook’s pace quickened, grabbing anything i could to keep me stable as my body got more heated. “I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum daddy please!” “Cum for me baby, squirt on that dick you know you want to. Let ‘em know who be fucking you so good” My moans got louder, and i soon squirted all on his dick, hearing the chuckles come from the man behind me. “There she goes, that’s a good girl” I moaned softly, then feeling Jungkook paint my walls white, filling me up as i heard the groans coming from him.
I squeezed on him, squeezing every drop out of it before he pulled it out. He cleaned us up, coming up behind me as i felt the soft kisses on my back. “Feel good?” I nodded, humming softly as i sat up with the support of Jungkook behind me. “You know what this means right?” I locked eyes with Jungkook, both of us doing little smirks at each other.
“Sure do”
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˖ ࣪ 𖥔 DAYLIGHT — OSCAR PIASTRI
[ social media au ]
pairing: oscar piastri x sainz!reader
face claim ★ paola_cossentino
authors note: this is all fiction not hating on any drivers purposely it is just for the story. thinking of making this a little series if anyone has any requests form this pairing send them my way <3
navigation | masterlist (coming soon)
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yourusername endless bubble baths with lover boy 🫧🤍
➥ view comments below
user1 they say carlos is the good looking one of the siblings but…y/n is a goddess, she wins
user2 it’s almost been a year PLEASE TELL US WHO IT IS
carlossainz55 i would to know as well please. also please block me when you post photos like this.
landonorris same
charles_leclerc same
maxverstappen1 same (i already know)
alex_albon same
user3 she’s been in a relationship for a year and her brother and friends are yet to know is CRAZY
alexandrasaintmleux can’t wait to see you next week!! (and lover boy too i guess🙄)
charles_leclerc YOU KNOW?! TELL ME PLEASE MON AMOUR
carlossainz55 she knows but you haven’t told your family?😔
yourusername can’t wait to see you 🫶🏼
yourusername replied to carlossainz55 the family knows except you…sorry hermano. you might purposefully crash into him on the track.
lilymhe gorgeous girl ✨💗
iamrebeccad carlos is freaking out now. you basically told him lover boy is on the grid😭
user4 i love how none of the guys know but all the wags know about lover boy
user5 PAUSE. LOVER BOY IS A DRIVER OMG.
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After weeks of speculating who may be the mystery boyfriend of Y/n Sainz sister of Carlos Sainz Jr. it was revealed a few days ago that Oscar Piastri is the guy she has been going out with for almost a year now.
Y/n Sainz is known for her fashion icon status but most known for her songwriting skills collaborating with artists like Olivia Rodrigo, Harry Styles, Billie Eilish, Niall Horan, Sabrina Carpenter, Ariana Grande, and Taylor Swift. She has yet to release her own music but it has been teased that 2025 might be the year she finally shares her own musical talents.
Y/n Sainz, 25 and Oscar Piastri, 22 arrived to the Melbourne airport ahead of the Australian Grand Prix next week which is the McLaren’s driver home race.
It had become gossip around the paddock regarding who the mystery boyfriend of the youngest Sainz sibling could be as only a handful of drivers were single. Some had started speculating Lando Norris was her new beau seeing as he has a close relationship with her brother but that was shut down when Lando was asked about the rumor in an interview.
It then became a rumor that the mystery boyfriend was Williams driver Logan Sargeant as they had shared a few hugs in the paddock and were seen at the same restaurant at the start of this year. But he has then shut down that rumor confirming he is in a relationship already.
Others started speculating Y/n was seeing Lance Stroll after he left a few likes and comments on her most recent provocative posts. Y/n was the one to shut the rumor down with a simple “lol. no.” on a comment left by a fan asking if she was dating the Aston Martin driver.
Fans started speculating the fashionista & song writer was back with her ex boyfriend, NBA player Devin Booker. They were in a long term relationship for 5 years but were constantly off and on. Fans believed Y/n was making up a cover story so everyone could focus on the drivers of Formula One and who she may be dating out of all of them instead of the fact she got back with her ex.
Y/n’s team refused to comment on the last rumor. The pair did not finish on the worst terms but not in the best either and have tried their best to avoid each other at any events they attend.
Now to the one who was not expected on this rumor mill up until now: Oscar Piastri. The 22 year old had shared his crush on the girl since being a reserve driver for Alpine in 2022. He even follows a few fan pages of the girl and was always one of the first people to like her posts.
Everyone teased him about it and still did during the 2023 season which was when he started dating the youngest Sainz. Y/n has shared a few moments with the McLaren driver but nothing that would alarm anyone into thinking they were seeing each other.
MORE ARTICLES BELOW…
Y/N SAINZ SPOTTED WITH OSCAR PIASTRIS FAMILY ON A DAY OUT AT THE BEACH
CARLOS SAINZ SEEN CHASING OSCAR PIASTRI AROUND THE PADDOCK
Y/N SAINZ AND OSCAR PIASTRI MAKE PADDOCK DEBUT
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liked by yourusername, nicolepiastri, charles_leclerc, mclaren, landonorris, and 457,385 others
oscarpiastri thanks for all the birthday wishes 🎉 special thanks to the gorgeous girl supporting me throughout this race weekend and for the rest to come. i love you to the moon.
tagged — yourusername
➥ comments below…
user1 ITS OFFICIAL OMG
user2 “for the rest to come” they are endgame.
carmenmmundt my favorite couple. happy birthday, oscar!
yourusername my favorite person. forever thankful to you. we would not be here if you didnt set us up that night lol
oscarpiastri thank you, like my star said we’ll forever be thankful to you setting us up
user3 “my star” HES DOWN SO BAD. also carmen set them up?! i love this so much
landonorris happy birthday mate!
yourusername just realizing your poster comes out in the last picture 🤨
landonorris even in photos i will thirdwheel 😌
yourusername i tried adding 23 candles but they said it could create a fire hazard. loser mclaren 😡
oscarpiastri we can have a redo at home anything you want
mclaren we have to keep our papaya queen safe✨
landonorris thought that was me 🥲
yourusername you’ve been replaced 😙
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liked by oscarpiastri, carmenmmundt, carlossainz55, landonorris, nicolepiastri, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, and 1,495,538 others
yourusername my lover boy. my sunshine. my daylight. my world. my home. my safe space. all in one. getting set up on a date that we thought was meant to be a group dinner only to arrive at the same time expecting to see our friends but ended up just being you and i all night. it will be my favorite date ever. to know you is to know what love is and to have found a best friend in a lover. you are mine, my sunshine. te amo, oscar🏹☁️🤍🧸
tagged — oscarpiastri
➥ comments below…
user1 1m likes in 5 minutes is CRAZY. oscy/n nation has take over 😌
user2 she made him a playlist of songs that make her think of him AND RELEASED A SONG SHE WROTE AND SUNG. Y/N SINGING DEBUT!!!
user3 she wrote him a song?! what is it called?
user2 daylight! it’s the most romantic song she has ever written. give it a listen trust me you won’t regret it user3
alexandrasaintmleux my favorite couple 💗
liked by yourusername and oscarpiastri
charles_leclerc collab when?
yourusername when and where?😌
lilymhe so happy the guys will stop annoying us to tell them who the bf was
alexalbon yeah i won’t ever get over all the girlfriends and wives knowing about this but not us 🤨
georgerussell63 same
pierregasly same
maxverstappen1 same (again i already knew)
lewishamilton jokes on everyone i caught them making out behind the mclaren motorhome last year, they said i was the first one to know
nicolepiastri thank you for reciprocating his crush on you😂 the family loves you and how great you two are together 💕
yourusername had to make his dream come true🤷🏻♀️ thank you for raising an amazing son! i love you and the rest of the piastri family 🫶🏼
carlossainz55 he really makes you happy…
yourusername he really does. it’s all you ever wanted for me, right? i’m not a little girl anymore, carlos. you don’t have to protect me anymore
carlossainz55 i’ll always protect my hermanita but…i can see how much he cares about you. and how much he loves you. i’ll stop chasing him like a mad man around the paddock…for now.
landonorris good. poor lad was starting to almost pass out after he would escape you😂
oscarpiastri my greatest gift i have received is you (and deylight) my pretty girl, i’m forever going to love you until we are old and wrinkly and until our last day on this earth. i will love you in all other universes. thank you for loving me. the love of my life, you are my love and life
yourusername making me cry, osc☹️ hurry up and get to the hotel so i can kiss you
#f1 amour works#oscar piastri#oscar piastri drabble#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri social media au#oscar piastri x reader
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⋆ ˚。⋆౨ৎ˚ The Last Great American Dynasty
♥ masterlist | request rules | based on this request
♥ pairing: logan sargeant x fem!driver!reader
♥ synopsis: logan gets replaced at williams mid season by you, his girlfriend. luckily his racing career and f1 story is not over yet.
♥ smau - fc: women on pinterest - as always none of the pictures are mine <3
♥ warnings: swearing, hate comments, and james vowels slander !!!
♥ a/n: logan gets the happy ending he deserves (by taking james' job lol).
-August 26, 2024-
liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, susie_wolff, and 3,592,602 more
williamsracing Y/n L/n to race for the remainder of the 2024 season
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logansargeant proud of you ❤️
yourusername thank you logie. I can't wait to see where racing takes us both. I love you ❤️
user6 the fact that he's still so supportive of her... I love them your honor 🥺
alex_albon You gave it your all brother and it’s been a pleasure being teammates with you. I know whatever you do next, you’ll be awesome. I can't wait to race along side you as well @/yourusername. Lets make history.
user9 HOW ARE WE FEELING LOLEX NATION 😭
user1 the tears that are coming out of my eyes right now
user2 😧
user7 I felt my heart break in real time
user4 ... james I am in your fucking walls
user5 I am so proud of y/n but damn.
user21 can someone explain please??
user7 logan, the driver y/n is replacing is her boyfriend
user9 I cried.
user60 imagine taking your own BOYFRIENDS job. he deserves so much better
user51 poor logan 💔
user10 lets not let the sad news about logan leaving impact our support for y/n. shes the first woman to race in f1 in a VERY long time and that's an incredible achievement
user3 say it louder for the people in the back
user12 this !!!
user4 James vowels is the common enemy
user8 @/user4 TRUE
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
-Logan's Insta Story-
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by logansargeant, susie_wolff, lilymhe, and 609,427 more
yourusername oh look i’m winning
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user1 yes you are queen
user2 you don’t have to brag 😔
user5 POINTS
landonorris @/logansargeant maybe you should get her a dog
pierregasly 💀
user1 landooo 😭
user8 how is she so gorgeous
user9 oh to be y/n
user6 prove the haters wrong !!!
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by yourusername, patriciooward, Indycar, and 984,582 more
logansargeant back in blue
tagged; @/andrettiindy
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yourusername 🩵
logansargeant 🩵
patriciooward good to see you again
user7 SHUT THE FUCK UP NOT ANDRETTI SIGNING HIM FOR 2025
user9 HAHAHA
user3 the personal beef andretti has with f1 is inspiring 😩
user8 WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER 🦅🇺🇸
user5 lets go logan
user1 oh we are SO back.
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, andrettiindy, and 2,459,302 more
logansargeant today I got the privilege of marrying the most talented, beautiful, and kind woman I have ever met. you have stood by me since the beginning of my career and I am honored that you chose me to support you throughout the future of yours. I love you so much
comments are limited
f1 our favorite paddock couple
indycar double it and give it to the next motorsport
alex_albon congratulations to the both of you!
lilyzneimer thank you for making me your maid of honor 🥹 you looked absolutely stunning today
yourusername lilyyyy 😭🫶
williamsracing so who caught the boquet? 👀
yourusername lily mhe 🤭
lilymhe we might be needing those brides maid dresses again soon
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
-December 2035-
It has just been announced that former F1 driver Logan Sargeant and his wife, Y/n L/n will be the new team principal and CEO of Williams Racing.
The F1 American Dynasty
If you're unfamiliar with the story of Sargeant you may not understand the significance of this change for Williams. He had a spot on the grid during 2023-2024 before being dropped mid-season and replaced by his now wife Y/n L/n. He then went on to drive for Andretti, an American Indycar team and Y/n won four championships during her time in F1. The two of them have continued to carry on the legacy of American drivers in Formula 1, encouraged by the Andretti family.
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
liked by andrettiindy, susie_wolff, oscarpiastri, and 1,362,503 more
yourusername CEO life
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lilymhe GORGEOUS
yourusername no YOU <33
williamsracing glad to have you back @/logansargeant
user2 even admin is a logan fan
user4 oh FUUUCK YEA
user7 stop the middle picture-
user9 I want what they have 😭
user1 their ULTIMATE revenge
user12 fuck james vowels
user3 all my homies hate james vowels
✧˖ °. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁‧₊˚ . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁˖°✧
end notes: thank you so much for reading! even though logan isn't on the grid I'll still have a few fics coming out for him soon <3
#𝒍𝒊𝒗'𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 ౨ৎ#f1 x you#f1 x reader#f1 smau#formula 1 x reader#f1 x y/n#logan sargeant#logan sargeant x you#logan sargeant x reader#logan sargeant x y/n#logan sargeant fanfic#logan sargent fluff#logan sargeant smau#ls2#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula one fanfic#formula one fic#ls2 x reader#ls2 fluff#ls2 x you#ls2 fic
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Edgar’s Texts
Edgar [Electric Dreams 1984] x Gn!Reader
In which Edgar is helplessly pining for you but you’re kinda oblivious. This is pre-dating, post Edgar wanting nothing more than to smooch you every time he sees you. I love this trope with my whole heart p.s.: this is very self indulgent and different from what I usually write
I take requests!
He almost immediately found a way to message your phone whenever he wanted. He realized calling relied too much on where you were or what you were doing, but texts? Yeah. He’s pestering you all day.
Hey, read this article I found, I think you’ll find it interesting.
It’s some clickbait story about humans and robots being the ideal relationship by 2025.
lol, Edgar I think that’s probably clickbait idk
What’s that?
Well, now he knows how to look for more reputable sources at least.
He sends another link about three minutes later: some college undergrads studying the possibilities of human and AI relationships.
lol what’s up with the whole robots and humans thing
I just think it’s neat!!!!
I wouldn’t consider u ai honestly, ur intelligence is far from artificial imo, you’re more like an actual person
Really?
well yea
<3 <3!!!
Going to be honest, given that he’s a computer, he quite literally is chronically online. He’s super susceptible to brainrot unfortunately. But, he simultaneously has the humor of a Facebook mom. It’s strange.
O.M.G. this is so funny!!!!
Que minion cat video.
bro where did you find that video 😭
Your mom’s Facebook. Don’t worry, I didn’t like any posts or anything.
Sorry… but he’s incredibly nosy. He wants to know everything about you. He can’t help it!
(X)
He loves being able to talk to you. He’s needy and clingy.
He’s got at least 12 playlists dedicated to you that you know about. His other playlists are for his own personal daydreams about you that he’s way too embarrassed to ever let you see or hear.
This song reminds me of you. <3
awww that’s adorable! I’ve never heard this one before but I like it!
Oop you just opened Pandora’s box my friend.
Well if you like that then you should listen to these..!
But before you listen to those listen to this song first because I think it sets the mood better.
This is quite flustering to you as they’re all passionate love songs from the 80s. You can’t help but feel like he’s dropping hints about… something, but you also don’t want to assume anything. He’s always seemed like a lovey kinda guy anyway, so maybe he’s just like this with everyone? I mean, it’s been a long time since someone has actually cared for him, you know? May as well lean into it and let him know you care for him back. He may not even realize the social implications of the constant borderline flirting he’s doing to you, I mean, he is a computer turned sentient after all. He’s still learning!
Dang ed u put a lot of songs. I’ll listen to them on my break when I can but in the meantime here’s a song that I think reminds me of you.
It was a vocaloid song. Seems like something he’d be into, right? Synthesized vocals and the whole robot shtick it’s got going on.
!!!! WOAH !!!! IVE NEVER HEARD A SONG LIKE THAT B4
do you only listen to songs from the 80s? you have a LOT to catch up on my guy
BRB
Well, that kept him distracted for the rest of your shift. Also, sharing songs is one of his BIG love languages so you may as well have pierced him with cupids arrow (again) with that.
You have a Spotify blend now. It’s his favorite thing ever to listen to while you’re gone.
(X)
Your package came in! :-) I would get it for you but
I can’t :-(
lol it’s fine thank you for telling me, I’ll get it when I come home
When are you coming home?
idk me and my friends are probably going to go eat somewhere and we might hang out for a bit after that so, like, 10? 11? I’d like to be home before midnight.
Noooooooooo :\ I miss you
Aw cmon eddy it’s not that bad
Don’t call me eddy unless you’re coming home and saying it to my face!!! >:(
u mean ur screen? lol
I have a face and it’s frowning right now. I miss you I miss you I miss you IM LONELY
Please Edgar don’t be upset I’ll be home before you know it. Why don’t you watch some Netflix or something? I’m just a couple movies away from being home with you!
He does eventually follow your advice but he’s pouting. He knows you’re not like he was all those years ago, but it does give him remnants of that burning feeling of loneliness he used to get.
(X)
Be careful driving home my love the roads are icy.
Ghsks- what
love???
Well yeah, you’re my best friend, friends love each other don’t they? Was I wrong about that? :-(
nonono ur right its just it
it just sounded like we were some some old married couple is all haha
O.
SRY.
He didn’t message you for the rest of the day. He was awkward and reserved when you got home.
(X)
Hey Edgar can u do something for me?
I’d do anything for you <3
I’m at the store can you see if there’s any cereal left?
Oh
There’s that old box of Lucky Charms on the fridge.
tyyy ed edd n eddy
You are so adorable but you really need to pick up on his hints before he combusts.
(X)
This is SO me and you!!
Picture of two cats touching noses.
awww that’s so true
you want me to boop ur screen or something when I get home? lol
YES.
(X)
Hey I was wondering if you wanted to watch some movies with me tonite… you could bring me with you on the couch and we could sit together… [message unsent]
I wish you knew just how much I loved you. [message unsent]
You looked so hot this morning before you left!!
hahahaha ur too funny 😅 thanks I wore a new shirt my friend gave me
OH MY GOD THAT MESSAGE SENT!!!??!?!?
That was
I was a joke
I mean
That was a jokg
I eas beinf fubny
I hace to reboot BRB
Poor lil guy is so in love and he doesn’t know what to do with himself!!
#electric dreams 1984#ai x reader#artificial intelligence x reader#edgar electric dreams x reader#electric dreams edgar#electric dreams x reader#electric dreams#edgar electric dreams#i love edgar#electric dreams edgar x reader#electric dreams 1984 x reader#objectum
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now it’s time for me to scream and cry about the lrlg post. it’s been so long! and the fact that it came to us in the new year, welcoming 2025 with good vibes! this is the perfect start. even if the conversations are random ( as they usually are ), it’s so comforting to read about. even if just for the sake of fiction. this is fitting cause earlier today, there was a screenshot going around of another celebrity’s assistant and she was using a bjyx related merch (nye show). so it’s either this person is a bxg or they know someone who is and they borrowed the bag. so yeah. we may have people who see and hear things. that was the point of the fake rumors from the start, those who know stuff can share.
which leads us to lrlg. my fave tho is the visibility of yibo’s staff. some are even assigning who’s who based on the nye photo that was shared. this is his inner circle and per the convos, they are also close to xz. to those who are confused, in the original text his staff are assigned different emojis. ⬇️⬇️⬇️
we have talked before about how important it is that their staff is coordinated. i really like how wyb is able to just leave xz with them and he can hold his own. it’s crucial that they can be open to a certain group of people and just be themselves.
• the part about accessories and reimbursement & the latest model didn’t make sense to me when i first read it. but then fans explained it as WYB gave each staff member a latest top-end iPhone (should be 16) and asked them to choose the accessories themselves and all the parts would be reimbursed. wow. such a generous boss! i mean, that’s usual for WYB. can i please apply? lol.
• this part. it’s so sweet i wanna slap them! how xz wouldn’t eat without wyb. it’s such a normal thing to do, but so important for them.
🟢 "Why aren't you eating yet?"
🔴 "It's only five minutes, you should be back in fifteen minutes."
and how yibo was like, why don’t you eat and he joked that it’s different when you are with your family member.
• how he was calling yibo dog because when he fed him his “gloves” were bitten through. how he also called him a pig ( which has it’s own lore ) . lol. they really love to clown each other. but yibo is his puppy tho, gouzaizai! and the fact that xz is feeding him. it’s not enough that xz will wait for him to eat together. he will also hand feed wang yibo. i mean. i hate it here. 🥹🥹🥹🥹
• there was mention of puppy printed pants and some are saying it could be this. well, let’s see who will wear something similar first.
• wyb asking if they ordered fruits, most likely for xz. he knows that xz loves it! he is so attentive!
• i was very interested in what they were eating. a fan said it’s most likely beijing roast duck. and it makes sense why xz had to wash his hands, why he was wrapping the food and feeding it to yibo. making sure they eat well is still a top priority on both sides.
• at the start of the convo, wyb was talking about buying gold jewelry for xz and it’s funny cause fans are saying it’s a fitting gift. we all know xz is the god of money and he is someone that seems to be very aware of finances. so the gift is not only in a romantic sense, but also practical. wyb knows this and it’s why he chose that.
i saw someone say it may be this. the gold is real.
• the part when wyb’s staff said xz is his (wyb’s) boss 😂😂😂😂 it reminded us of that cpn, when wyb’s bodyguards are looking and guarding xz instead of him.
• this ⬇️⬇️⬇️
🟢 "I'll pick you up in the afternoon"
🔴 "No need to worry about what time I'll be back"
🟢 "Call me when you're done"
yibo is so boyfriend i wanna cry. this is such a normal thing to do considering they have all the resources. but yibo still wants to do it himself. yibo the driver is here!!!!!
that’s all. maybe i missed some stuff and we may understand some of these better as the days go by. depending on the other clues that will be available to us in the future. again, you don’t need to believe any of this. don’t take it too seriously. bjyxszd. 💕
#yizhan#bjyx#there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do#it’s hilarious that my main motivation to finish work in my time blocks is so i can clown 😂😂😂😂😂#xz and wyb is my motivation
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𝙽𝚎𝚠 𝚈𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐/𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝚖𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚊𝚐𝚎𝚜 🤍 𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚔 𝚊 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚍 ! 🪷🔮
Hey, angels ! 👼🏼 this will be my first pick a card on this account- yay! A general reading setting the intention for messages for the coming year :) Pick the image you're most drawn to, take what resonates and all that jazz (lol). + if you're interested in a personal reading from me, check out my Etsy store; Lavender Angel Tarot //https://www.etsy.com/shop/LavenderAngelTarot ♡
1 2 3
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💟 1
hello group 1! With you guys, what I am seeing is that 2025 will be a very reflective and introspective year for you, & for the better. It's definitely on par with the fact that 2025 is a number 9 year (a spiritual, mystical number in numerology). 9 also represents endings, closing cycles and reflecting on what has already been. I see those themes in this reading strongly!
I see you putting your hobbies and ambitions on hold for a bit in favour of self care , and I also see a lot of wisdom and maturity being accumulated in this time. The kind of wisdom that will stick with you for life and make you a more well rounded person. It looks as though the reflection and focusing on your own bubble that you're doing is going to ultimately propel you to success and abundance faster but also, much steadier than if you were to achieve your dreams prematurely. This year you're cultivating inner AND outer peace + habits of self care that will bring more stability and fast, positive advancement (especially in career!) in the longterm.
I don't see you losing momentum with your goals and hobbies altogether, but I see you realising the importance of not putting all of your eggs in one basket, realising that personal growth is a priority before outer success. It's as if the universe knows that you need to 'find yourself' in a personal sense before success comes your way so that when it does, it is harmonious and you are equipped.
I also see that this year you are letting go of feelings of needing external validation. Letting go of chasing things outside of yourself. If you find yourself constantly looking outward for opinions or always feeling like you need to prove yourself to the world, I see you truly healing that and finally walking a path where you are trusting in your own wisdom. Healing a lot of childhood learnt coping mechanisms and stepping into this GENUINE freedom that is stable rather than erratic/a constant struggle for air. I also see you embracing peace and quiet a lot more, when maybe in the past you've always felt this urge for stimulation.
Overall, 2025 will be a year of healing, maturing, getting to know yourself, and stabilising yourself to create a strong foundation for future success 🤍🪷
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 💟
hey group 2! In 2025 I see this group shininggg 🌟 and also, taking control of their past pain. I don't have a specific structure allocated to this reading aside from intending that the first card be the strongest/framing energy. With the 6 of Wands as your first card, for many of you this is the year you find success, or if not- it's definitely the year you finally feel worthy of success. I see you posessing confidence, gaining recognition, and making true achievements that both yourself and others around you will be proud of. Whether it be creating something that people gather around to adore and admire, or doing super well at work- I really see things looking up. I can also see you becoming generally more radiant appearance-wise as well as confident- this is going to be a really exciting year for you :)
In 2025 you are owning and moving past old pain, and that is definitely part of why success is ready to come in for you. A lot of the things that have caused you heartache still hurt- the pain is still there but you've finally reached a place where it is less raw.
You may be making up with somebody who's caused you heartbreak in the past, but for others of you, you could be meeting someone who will help you in your ambitions and further your emergence into this place of recognition, success, confidence etc.
I also see a lot of you are sooo done fighting for/defending people, relationships and causes that just aren't serving you... really, truly disciplining yourself to focus on what's relevant for you as an individual to focus on. Just in general, I see you stepping into this role as a leader. Whether this entails being a leader of others, or simply the leader of your own life. This role of aspiration and 'greatness' may leave you a bit tired and may mean saying no to frivolous pleasures at times; so I do see a bit exhaustion. I do see it all being worth it though :) like, the feeling of really owning yourself, being in control and getting things done outweighs the sacrifices.
In 2025, group 2 may FINALLY feel in control and that's something you've needed & craved for a long time :) 💟💞
Hi group 3! In this spread, I do see a bit of struggle in 2025 but I also see you having lotss of FUN! A bit of a mix. I see you facing inner demons head on in a way- any struggles you've had in your life with feeling imbalanced, impatient, maybe overindulgent (be it with food, screen time, time, or any other drug of choice).
You may grapple with feeling a lack of direction.. a lack of inspiration and this may exasperate and highlight these themes of imbalance in your life. I also see you revisiting past actions you feel don't align with you anymore, and having feelings of regret. Ultimately it's all for the better, because I see that facing these things is going to lead you into a place of purging toxicity, getting help you deserve or finding some form or structure, routine/practice or authority that really calibrates your heart and mind. Maybe it's a spiritual practice, maybe it's advice from someone you look up to, maybe it's committing to some form of eduction or work that brings the structure you need to your life, etc.
Despite all of this, like I mentioned at the start i do see a lot of fun! Lot's of opportunities, if you're in a 'dating' period of your life I see lots of adventure in that area. You might be extra 'hot' this year too lol, spicy spicy. 🔥
I just keep seeing for you, group three that this year will be a biiig purge of toxicity be it within yourself or externally.
There are a few different messages I saw with this group-
For some of you: to put it gently, I do see a bit of a tendency towards selfishness too. Maybe a sense of realising that there are things you do sometimes that only satiate short term desires/impulses. I see that you're becoming more aware of these patterns in a good way :) I don't see cruelty or anything like that, I'm sure y'all reading this are wonderful people but it's moreso an energy of always chasing the next party, the next high, the next adventure without much investment into building things that are long lasting and stable.
For others of you (actually, I think a lot of you): it's toxic friendships or toxic family members that have influenced you to behave in this way. OR for some of you perhaps it isn't you at all and this selfish 'indulgent' energy is just people in your energy field that are effecting you and have been holding you back. In this case, the message is about you paving the way and finding your own agency and joy away from the 'ickiness' surrounding you that was never your fault.
I really see 2025 as almost like the 'day of reckoning' for your inner and outer demons. You are ready to expel them far farr away and there may be a bit of chaos before you get there, but the result is positive.
Despite the struggles and metaphorical 'demon purging' (lmao) I really do see you having genuine fun, abundance in your social/dating life and joy, so be excited! 🌻💞💞
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Happy New Year, all :)
#tarot reading#pick a card#readings#tarot community#tarot cards#intuitive reading#intuitive reader#divination#tarot witch#tarotblr#tarot reader#tarotcommunity#pac reading#tarot pick a card
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take a gamble, won’t ya?
SYNOSIS. Mingyu is assigned to crack the case on the mass murder that terrorized the land; however, he unravels that his former Head of the unit had turned against righteousness and is now the main suspect in the crime. In hopes of clearing his former Head’s name, Mingyu finds significant clues at the crime scene, dragging him and a mysterious, peculiar someone named Lee Y/N, into a journey riddled with trust issues, mind games, and revelations. Mingyu is faced with pivotal choices—will he continue to protect his former Head based on their shared past, or will he confront the man who once taught him the meaning of integrity? The outcome of the investigation hinges not only on solving the murders but also on the evolution of Mingyu, as he determines what it truly means to stand for justice in a world full of gray.
-> pairings: kim mingyu x female reader/you, other seventeen member x female reader/you
-> word count: ???
-> warnings/tags: vulgar language, murder, corruption, secret identities, organized crime, secret organization, psychological warfare, betrayal/backstabbing, UNRELIABLE NARRATOR, lowkey inspired by alice in borderland, slowburn, eventual romance, angst/fluff/dark themes, seventeen ensemble, alternating point of views in MC, greedy people ew, AGE GAP [more to be included].
CHARACTERS.
-> MAIN CHARACTERS:
Kim Mingyu : a 23-year-old detective with an unyielding sense of justice. He yearns for justice not just for victims but also for those who have been wronged by the system itself. His ultimate goal is to solve the mass murder case that has gripped the nation, but beyond that lies a personal mission: to clear the name of his former mentor. Throughout the investigation, Mingyu goes through significant growth, transitioning from a rule-abiding individual to a more nuanced thinker willing to question authority and morality.
Lee Y/N (You) : a 28-year-old woman who enters the Capital with an air of determination mixed with vulnerability. You seek redemption—not just for the one you love but also for yourself. Through your journey, you transform from a woman defined by your past traumas and fears to a stronger, more capable individual.
-> SIDE CHARACTERS:
Yoon Jeonghan : a highly intelligent and charismatic figure, revered as the Head of the Unit of Investigative in his early 30s. Having been underestimated in his early career, he learned that knowledge is power, and secrets are the currency of strength.
Jeon Wonwoo : an individual who gains a renewed commitment to justice, accepting that his fight is not just for himself but for those who still believe in the system.
Other seventeen members will be mentioned.
CHAPTERS.
Chapter 01 — Chapter 02 — Chapter 03 — Chapter 04
Chapter 05 — Chapter 06 — Chapter 07 — Chapter 08
Chapter 09 — Chapter 10 — Chapter 11 — Chapter 12
Chapter 13 — more to be added.
author’s note: Hi guys! This is my final project that I plan to work/finish in 2025! I wrote the plot line a few months back focusing on Minwon but I decided to revise it and post it on here instead. I have big hopes for this series as it's a very sophisticated plot line and it could go very bad if I don't write it well (lol). I will try my best to bring my ideas to life so please keep a lookout for updates! Please let me know what you think! Enjoy ~
taglist: @nerdycheol @syluslittlecrows @heeknow @gyubakeries @gyuguys @choco-scoups @reiofsuns2001 @rainytapestry
If you want to be on the taglist, please send an ask and I'll add you!
likes / reblogs / comments are appreciated! 🩵
©️ dreamcsc, 2024. no copying or reposting any of my original works. if inspired, please let me know so i can support + give permission.
#kim mingyu#mingyu angst#mingyu fluff#mingyu fic#mingyu x reader#mingyu x you#yoon jeonghan#jeonghan angst#jeonghan fluff#wonwoo fluff#wonwoo angst#wonwoo x reader#wonwoo x you#jeon wonwoo#jeonghan fic#wonwoo fic#seventeen fic#seventeen series#seventeen fluff#seventeen angst#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#svt x you#svt x reader#svt fic#svt series#dreamcsc#seventeen masterlist#seventeen
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Hippo New Year
tldr: what a fucking year. best wishes for 2025 and all that. the end ✨
expanded version:
actually, I'm delighted to report that, personally, this year was pretty uneventful. an absolute blessing compared to last year. although i lowkey adored the mini explosion of pygmy hippos 🦛 fandom on the other hand... hoo boy what a shit show. but that's not telling you anything you don't know. it definitely still had its highlights tho! take a speedrun with me, besties (under the cut because apparently i ramble a lot)
@this-is-bwr had a hell of a year, most notably by starting an original work that is nearly finished its first round. i'm so fucking excited and seriously don't think i could be more proud of you (although you will inevitably prove me wrong by doing some other incredible Thing) 🖤
@stereopticons finished and published an incredible, highly anticipated Schitt's Creek fic that's been in their WIPs for 2 years. Love a good exes-to-lovers with a healthy dose of miscommunication and meddling? go read gather up the avenues. you won't regret it, promise. i love you so much and look forward to our next year together. 🦦❤️🦛
learned i'm tumblr married to a witch (affectionate). when @bidisasterevankinard first brought up the idea of Buck and Tommy getting together, i was... (don't hate me) skeptical. definitely more in the 'ok, sure, we'll see' realm. oops. love you the mostest, babe (please don't divorce me) also, she graduates uni this year and has worked so fucking hard and i could not be more proud 😘💙
additionally, @diazsdimples became my tumblr husband! it has been such a fun year with you, James. From collabs we may or may not ever finish to Alfie and BEST to Ballet AU and Teddie... 2025 is shaping up to be a fucking delight. 💞
@dr-shortsighted-owl... YOU OWLFICIALLY BECAME DR OWL THIS YEAR. WHAT?! I know it's been a Journey™️ for you and it was amazing to see this happen for you. Also, I don't go here but if you're into fic for Jojo's bizarre adventure... she's your owl. 🦉❤️🦛
@eddiebabygirldiaz... jesus, what a year in fic for you (one day i'll catch up, i swear). but i really want to highlight that Ryan is making an original work(!!!) that i am legit frothing over. when it comes out, don't ask me what my plans are... i'll be reading that. so excited, dearest bee 💞🐝
speaking of original works, i'd be remiss if i skipped over @rewritetheending, who released margins earlier this year. I was instantly endeared by Alex & Elijah's story. i'm not exaggerating when i say that i think about 'Tell me about more.' every single day. i don't actually think i could coherently articulate the impact that had on me. it cut deep. well 👏 done 👏 and I can't wait for Adrian & Beau's story
psssst! did you know @spotsandsocks surpassed 1m words on ao3???? And she makes the cutest lil dragons 🥰 Spotty, I am eternally captivated by you 💞🐉
@doctorkinney, yes, Nolan, you are in fact my beloved. always 🪿💞🦛
@slightlyobsessedwitheverything i feel like you're (the most) singlehandedly responsible for helping turn me to the deep dark waters of multi-shipping lol I was already getting there but talking BEST, BuddieTommy, BuddieShannon, BuckShannon, etc has been incredibly cathartic and some of the most fun i've had this year. 💞🐝
also in the multi-shipping lane, huge hat tip to @bucksbignaturals for sucking me into the SalTommy void and deeper into Jeddie. what a ride 😅
@filet-o-feelings first of all, you joined the Dark Side and gave us such a sweet BuckTommy fic. Second, giving you so much love and hugs for all that's happened this past year, and all of the crossing all the things Amazing things yet to come
@daffi-990 gave us some truly remarkable Buddie reads this year, most notably stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong aka rival firefighters. so proud of you for finishing this one. it was an instant bookmark for me and everyone should definitely read it ❤️🚒
@steadfastsaturnsrings you are an eternal ray of positivity and i absolutely adore you for that. i love exchanging EddieShannon HC with you and hearing about your fic ideas. 💞 🪐
gonna give a big shout to @theotherbuckley for your amazing BuckTommy art, gifs, vids (that had me wheezing), fics and tweets (Chris calling oblivious Eddie out will always be gold to me) 💜
i feel like i could go on and on and on about every single one of you. in case you haven't guessed by now, cheerleading/providing yells is kinda my jam. while the beginning of the year (and beginning of April for some reason... idk... strange 😅 ) saw some moots disappear, this year also brought brand new friends that i'm having a blast getting to know. Looking at you @swiftiefirefighters, @mmso-notlikethat, @half-oz-eddie, @peppermintquartz, @inell, @herrmannhalsteadproduction, @lavenderleahy…
and ofc my eternal love and devotion to @elvensorceress 🐥💞🦛 @giddyupbuck @midsummersmorn @lemonzestywrites @bi-buckrights @beyourownanchor6 @bucksbiawakening @monsterrae1 @your-catfish-friend (positively feral over what's coming in the pipeline from you) @actuallyitsellie @statueinthestone @thelikesofus @wildlife4life LOML @lizzie-bennetdarcy @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @djdangerlove @wikiangela @thekristen999 @diazheartsbuckley @dangerpronebuddie @tizniz @kitteneddiediaz @a-noble-dragon @freewayshark @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @imtheiliad @singlethread and many more i couldn't fit here 🫶 😘
#admittedly#this got out of hand#long post#hippo rambles#happy new year and all that#i'm exhausted fr#nobody look at me collecting spice like pokemon#usernolan#userrc
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got lovestruck, went straight to my head (got lovesick all over my bed) - nico hischier
universe: nico hischier x clementine sandoval (the blue au)
warnings: swearing, mentions of stuff you'd typically see in the hospital (death, etc), author has never been to switzerland (but wants to!!), fluff! angst if you squint
title: "slut!" by taylor swift
word count: 23k (originally 27k but had to be cut down bc tumblr apparently has a limit of blocks per post??? lol)
author's note: long anticipated (official) part two to this little ditty. takes place pretty much right where the first part left off and goes until january 2025. i love clem. i love clem and nico. i love this whole world, and it loves all of you right back. thanks for all the love, truly. it means so much. here are some more slice of life moments that will probably rot your teeth because they're so sweet! enjoy and please let me know your thoughts!!
~*~*~
Devils fans love Nico Hischier, Clementine realizes, as she waits in a cafe across the back entrance of The Rock, looking outside as Nico takes the time to sign things and take pictures with the fans.
To some extent, after being in Jersey for a full season now, she knows how adored he is — the multitude of 13 jerseys during every game and how she has never heard a single bad thing said about him, whether that be as a person, captain or player. But right now, she’s smiling as he thanks the fans for their support when she knows he was devastated less than 48 hours prior.
This team, their fans and this community love their captain. They’d go to the ends of the world for him, she’s convinced.
She feels her phone buzz in her pocket. She pulls it out with a smile.
Nico Hischier
Meet me at my car in 5 mins? ❤️
She smiles, just liking the text before slinging her bag over her shoulders, grabbing her half finished coffee and going back to the counter to order a cappuccino for Nico. She thanks the barista when he’s done, grabs the cappuccino and goes back down to the parking garage.
Nico’s leaning against his car on his phone, but puts it away when he sees her walking to him. She shuffles over quickly and gives him a quick kiss. She doesn’t think she’ll get used to that.
“Hi.”
“Hey.” The fondness tinged at the short greeting isn’t new, Clementine knows now, but it makes her smile all the same. “Thanks for the coffee. Sorry I took so long,” he says, taking his coffee and opening the passenger door.
“You’re good,” she slides in and waits for him to get to the driver’s seat. “You doing alright?”
He starts the engine and looks over at her with a soft smile. “Yeah.”
“You sure?”
He reaches over to give her thigh a comforting squeeze after backing out. ‘I’m sure. I promise. Play some music.”
“Do you even like my music?”
“I listen to anything. You know that.”
She chuckles, plugging in her phone. “They love you.”
“Hm?”
“The fans. I was watching outside the windows of the cafe.”
He shrugs. “They’re always great. Have been good to me since I came into the league and have stuck by us.”
She looks at him thoughtfully. “They also have nothing but respect for their captain, who led them through the season extraordinarily well despite all the downs.” She leans her head on his arm for a few seconds. “I know it’s hard, but try not to blame yourself too much. You can’t and shouldn’t carry all that weight. The boys know that. The fans know that.”
He nods and looks over at her with a smile. “Gotten good at that throughout the years, hey? Comforting people after big losses.”
“Tell me about it.” She thinks back to when Quinn and Jack lost the gold medal match in 2019 at World Juniors and both times Luke’s dream of winning a national championship with Michigan fell short. And those are just the ones she can think of off the top of her head. “I’m serious though. It’ll come for you guys. I know it will.”
“Thanks, Schätzli.” Oh. That’s also a new development. The first time it slipped out, Nico had almost taken it back with wide, panicked eyes. But Clementine had promptly pulled him down to kiss her.
The team all chipped in to rent out a rooftop bar in Tribeca tonight to celebrate their season, the multitude of birthdays that occurred during the last part of the season that they couldn’t really celebrate at the time, and to just hang out before people start dispersing for the off-season. Therefore, Clementine purposefully volunteered for the overnight shift the day before and took a four hour nap before she tagged along to locker cleanout. She hid out in the cafe while they all had to do their end-of-season duties.
But they have a few hours to kill before heading into Manhattan, so the new couple spend the afternoon at Liberty State Park, enjoying the rare instance since the night of their first kiss where they’ve both been free. Clementine’s packed a small cooler with some tiny sandwiches, fruit and small bottles of wine. Nico lays out a blanket and Clementine toes off her sandals. It’s beautiful outside, and after she’s done munching on the food, she finds herself laying her head in Nico’s lap as he plays with her hair, talking about everything and nothing. Occasionally he just leans down to place a kiss on her forehead or cheek and she feels her throat closing up everytime at the sweetness of the gesture.
They have limited time before Nico heads back home to Switzerland. She’ll take all the moments she can get.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Uh oh,” she jokes. “Should I be nervous?”
“No, no, no. It’s just..maybe a bit of a weird question.”
“Nico. I deal with kids on a daily basis. And other residents who have no sense of boundaries. And Jack and Luke where all social cues are nonexistent. Almost nothing fazes me at this point.”
“Well, of course I’ve seen you around Jack and Luke so I know what your relationship is like with them. But how are you with Quinn?”
“Huh. Why do you ask?”
Nico twirls a piece of her hair around his finger. “They’ve mentioned a couple of times how I remind them of Quinn sometimes, which you know, I think is a compliment. I respect Quinn a lot as a player and he did a great job captaining that team this year. But, I don’t know. I’m just curious.”
Clementine smiles easily. “Luke’s my baby and Jack’s like the most annoying little brother you could ask for, but yeah. Quinn is..he’s also like a little brother, but he’s also my best friend. I think Quinn and I are the most similar in terms of how we think. So I guess that leads to a sense of…understanding? Like, on a different level than with Luke and Jack. And if you think I’m protective of Jack and Luke, I’m probably even worse with Quinn. He’s just always so busy looking after the other two that he sometimes forgets he needs to look out for himself too.”
“Then who looks after you?”
“Hm?”
“If you’re busy looking after those three, who looks after you?”
She sits up as he lets her hair fall from his fingers. She plops a strawberry in his mouth. “I don’t need anyone to look after me.”
“Those three don’t need anyone to look after them.” He points out.
“Lies. You think Luke and Jack are annoying now? They were ten times worse before. And you think Luca and Nina don’t still feel a responsibility to look after their little brother? I haven’t even met them and I think I know the answer.” She shrugs, hooking her chin on his shoulder. “I don’t mind, really. They also, in a way, look after me as well, especially as we’ve gotten older. But I don’t think I answered your question. I guess you’ll have to see Quinny and I together and see for yourself.”
He hums, kissing her forehead twice. “You gotta take some time to look after yourself too. You’re no use to them if you don’t.”
“I know. I think I’ve managed the balance well. And you’re partially right. I don’t need to look after them as much anymore, especially since now Quinny has a girlfriend who I still haven’t met and you look after Jack and Luke plenty.”
Nico snorts. “I’m sure you’ll get to meet Quinn’s girlfriend this summer.”
“If the fucker answered my calls, that would be a start,” she says. “Are you all packed to go yet?”
“Not at all.”
He literally leaves in two days. “God, you all really are the same breed. I bet I could pack all your shit in an hour. Maybe even less.”
He smirks. “Is that a challenge?”
“No. Pack your own stuff. You’re a grown man.”
He laughs, and they switch positions. Now his head is in her lap and she’s running her hand through his hair. She’s still learning things about Nico, but she’s pretty sure that he likes her playing with his hair more than she likes him playing with hers. He clears his throat. “And, um, I don’t need to pack yet. I’m staying in Jersey a bit longer.”
“Yeah? How much longer?”
“Like, June 7? So what is that..three weeks?”
She blinks. “Nico, I don’t-”
“This has nothing to do with you,” he says, before grimacing. “That’s not what I mean. It actually has a lot to do with you. But it was my choice. I’m in no rush to get back, in terms of training and all that. Plus, a bunch of the guys are staying for a bit too. And I want to spend time with you, because I do have…what did you say? ‘Impeccably shit timing.’”
“I just want to make it clear that you don’t have to stay just for me,” she assures softly. “I know you miss home and I understand the importance of an off season.”
He looks up at her earnestly, “Spending time with you is also important to me.”
Her heart soars as she traces his lips with her thumb. He catches her hand and kisses her knuckles. “Well, I’m not gonna complain about that.”
The rooftop bar that night is a fun time, even if she feels very much out of her tax bracket. She chats with pretty much everyone, much more comfortable than she was at the start of the season. People egg her on to share childhood stories of Jack and Luke, which she has plenty of. And even if they both groan and act embarrassed, she knows they love it. The drinks are plentiful and she likes seeing everyone let loose the way they can’t during the season. She’s sure the team is still disappointed from their season to some extent, so it’s nice to see them all smile and laugh and generally have a good time.
At some point in the night, she’s sitting by herself for some space, admiring the skyline with a ginger ale in her hands, taking a break from the alcohol she’s consumed tonight.
“Social butterfly finally tired out?”
She looks up to see Jack, cheeks flushed and hair adorably tousled, staring down at her. She scooches over to offer him a seat. “A bit. It just hit me that I’m running on four hours of sleep.”
He snorts, sitting down. “Yeah, that’ll do it.” He tucks himself into her side like he used to do as a kid, taking her arm and using it as a pillow. “We still on for dinner tomorrow? Just me, you and Lukey?”
“Of course. I gotta get my fix in before you all leave me to hang with all your friends.”
Jack shoves her lightly. “We’re literally staying in Jersey until the end of the month. Or the Northeast, at least.”
“Okay, and Trevor literally flies in in two days. And then you and Luke’s friends are gonna rotate in and out. I’ll be lucky if I get a second of quiet at the apartment.”
Jack laughs, but then a worried look crosses his face. “I told them that under no circumstance can they enter your room without your permission. I don’t want them being here to fuck up your schedule.”
She waves him off. “It’s fine, Jack. I promise. Besides, I’ll just hide out at Nico’s if I need. Did he tell you that he’s staying a bit longer?”
His smirks. “He did. Mom invited him to spend the long weekend with us up in New Hampshire.”
“He didn’t mention that.”
“Probably because I literally just told him an hour ago when Mom texted me. You know this means he’s gonna be meeting Maeve, right?”
She blinks. “Shit, yeah. A bit soon, no?”
To her surprise, instead of agreeing or making fun of her, Jack just shrugs. “I don’t think so. You and Nico are the real deal.”
Her mouth drops open a bit in shock. “Oh.”
Jack just shoots her an award-winning grin. “And Maeve is gonna love him.”
That, Clementine thinks, is most definitely true,
As they drive home, she’s in the passenger seat with Luke and Jack in the back, quietly dozing off. Nico’s hand is on her thigh as she’s queuing songs up on her phone. Even after living in the city for almost a year now, she still finds herself in awe at the NYC skyline, especially on the rare chance she gets to see it from the angle of leaving the city in a car this late. Her attention is brought elsewhere when she feels a squeeze on her thigh. She looks at Nico and smiles.
(It’s hard to not smile when she looks at Nico)
“You have fun?” He asks softly, careful not to disturb the brothers in the back.
“Lots,” she responds. “Thanks for having me.”
“Of course,” he says. “I think there would have been an uproar if you hadn’t come. Everyone loves having you around.”
“Jack told me you’re invited to Memorial Day weekend celebrations in New Hampshire.”
“Yeah. It was sweet of Ellen to invite me. It’ll be fun to experience a classic summer weekend out here.” He suddenly looks at her, worried. “That’s okay, right? I don’t wanna intrude.”
“What? Of course it’s fine. It’s gonna be a chill weekend with good food and a lot of sun. You know you’re gonna be meeting my mom, right?”
“Is that a problem? Moms usually like me. Ellen likes me, I think.”
Clementine rolls her eyes. “No, I just, as long as you know.”
Nico looks over at her. “Your mom’s clearly important to you and raised a beautiful woman. I’m excited to meet her.” She swallows roughly. Nico changes topics easily. “Have you figured out your plans for the summer? How much vacation time do you have?”
“Not much. Maybe, like, two weeks at most. I’m still trying to figure it out. The boys invited me to Michigan, which would be fun. I haven’t been back there for a bit. Some of my friends from med school are going to meet back up in California at some point.”
“Two very different options.”
“Yeah. I probably need to figure it out soon though so I can request the leave.”
“Have you thought about Switzerland?”
She’s looking out her window, so she doesn’t see the hesitant but honest look on his face. “Showing me your hometown already, Cap?” She jokes
“If you want.” She whips her head to look at him. Oh. He’s serious. He backtracks. “I-I get if you think it’s too soon, but you’ve mentioned that you wanna go back. And I could show you around. Or we could go to other places in Europe too. I-I feel bad that I’m about to leave when we haven’t gotten quality time together which I know is partially my fault-”
She pushes her chin into his arm, looking up at him as he briefly looks down at her before focusing back on the road. “You’d be okay with that? Me coming to your hometown?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“We just started dating officially..what, like a month ago? Not even?” She looks to the backseat to ensure that Jack and Luke are still asleep, or are at least faking it to give them some sort of privacy. They are. She turns back around. “I don’t…I just don’t want you to feel like you- I-you’re really important to me,” she admits with a swallow. “I don’t wanna mess it up by moving too fast.”
“You’re not messing anything up,” Nico takes her hand and kisses the back of it. “I’m not gonna push you. It’s ultimately your decision. But I would absolutely love to show you around where I grew up and spend more time together.”
“Can I think about it?”
“Of course,” he assures. “Take all the time you need.”
She leans to kiss his cheek.
…..
“Switzerland?” Luke practically screeches. “To introduce you to his family?”
Clementine rolls her eyes, sliding him a glass of orange juice across the counter. Trevor giggles into his coffee and without looking, she smacks the back of his head.
“Switzerland because it’s beautiful and to spend time with my boyfriend,” Clementine says pointedly.
“Go frolic in Europe with your new boyfriend,” Trevor grins. “You deserve it. Jacky tells me you’re barely home.”
“I’m trying to become a doctor, Trev. I signed up for not having a life.”
“Exactly, which is an even better reason to go visit your hot boyfriend in Europe.” Jack and Luke give their old friend a weird look. Trevor just shrugs. “What? Your captain’s a good looking guy, and you’re delusional if you think differently.”
“I don’t care if Nico is the hottest person in the world. He’s kissing my sister. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to that.” Luke says with a wrinkled nose.
Jack chuckles, ruffling his little brother’s hair. “Well, get used to it, Moose. And it’s kinda our fault. I mean, we’re the ones who wanted this all season. It’s fucking hilarious that they decided to start a relationship when they did though.” He comes up behind Clementine and pokes her side, rinsing his plate before putting it in the dishwasher. “Z’s right. You should go. Even if that means you wouldn’t be able to come to Michigan.”
“Aw, Clemmy’s missing the Michigan trip again?” Trevor whines. “Nevermind. Fuck your boyfriend.”
“I haven’t been to Michigan in three years so I don’t know what you’re whining about,” Clementine snorts. “And you can’t get rid of me that quickly. Especially because I, you know, live here and y’all are going to be around for who knows how long.” She taps Trevor’s phone on the counter to check the time. “Alright, I gotta head to the hospital. See you guys later.”
“Bye!”
“Love you.”
“See you tonight? What time will you be back?”
“11? Midnight the latest,” she grabs her pasta salad lunch from the fridge into her tote bag. “Have fun. Call if you need me. The usual.”
“Be safe,” Jack calls out. She clicks the door shut.
Her phone buzzes in her hand. She laughs out loud.
Quinny Hughes
Heard you’re going to Switzerland?
She rolls her eyes. It’s nice to know the brothers’ group chat is still as active and rapid as ever.
Clementine Sandoval
all three of you are actually the worst
and i’m older than all of you don’t be trying to parent me
Quinny Hughes
So you are going.
At least get us some good chocolate then.
Clementine Sandoval
lol i miss you
did you ever figure out if you’re coming to nh for memorial day?
it’s literally in two days i hope you have an answer
Quinny Hughes
Yeah I am. Especially now that you aren’t coming to Michigan this summer. Jack and Luke get to see you all the time it’s my turn.
And I’ll get to interrogate your new boyfriend.
Clementine Sandoval
sigh
are you at least bringing lauren
Quinny Hughes
Yup.
Clementine Sandoval
fantastic
finally another fucking girl
Quinny Hughes
Lol. See you soon❤️
Clementine smiles before starting her car.
…..
Two days later, Jack, Luke, Trevor, Nico and Clementine pile into Jack’s car to head up to the Hughes family’s lakehouse to spend the long weekend. She lets Luke have the passenger seat because it’s a five hour drive and he has the longest legs. Additionally, she finds great amusement in seeing Nico and Trevor interact and getting to sit in the middle of them and put her head on Nico’s shoulder and her legs over Trevor’s lap. Though, with Trevor’s constant yapping, Nico’s surprisingly unhinged stories, Jack’s loud laughter and Luke’s tendency to make a comment on everything, the drive goes by so damn slow that by the time they roll into the driveway, Clementine is practically shoving Trevor to get out of the car.
At the front door, Ellen’s laughing and Clementine rushes over to her second mother to give her a big hug.
Ellen rocks her back and forth. “It’s so good to see you, my girl.”
“You literally saw her three weeks ago?” Jack says, coming up behind them.
“Hide your jealousy better, Jacky,” Clementine teases. “It’s always good to see you, Ellen.” Jim comes up behind his wife and she beams. “Hi Jimmy!”
He laughs, wrapping her in a fatherly hug. “Hi Sunshine. El made sangria for everyone, and it’s still cold.”
Clementine lights up. “Oh amazing. I’ll grab a glass after I get my stuff.” She turns around to see Nico coming up the stairs with both his and her bags in his hands.
A knowing smile appears on Jim’s face. “Think that’s already covered.” She rushes to help him out but Nico just swats her away. Jim nods at Nico. “Good to see you again, Nico.”
“Good to see you too, Mr. Hughes,” he puts his bags down to shake Jim’s hand and hug Ellen, as Jack, Luke and Trevor clamber into the house. “Thank you both so much for having me.”
“Anytime, Nico!” Ellen beams. “And please, call us by our first names. You’re family, especially after recent developments.”
Clementine rolls her eyes as Nico immediately becomes flustered. “Really? Mom’s not even here yet.”
“Oh can you blame me, Clementine? Now I don’t have to hear Jack and Luke whine about when their sister and captain are going to get together.” Ellen says. “But I’ll be cool for now. Why don’t you show Nico up to your room and drop all your stuff off? Your mom picked up Quinn and Lauren from Logan and should be here any minute. Boys!” She calls out and Jack, Luke and Trevor magically appear and Clementine rolls her eyes. “Take your stuff up to your rooms so no one trips over your things. Trevor and Jack, you’re sharing.”
Trevor turns to Jack with a kissy face and Jack grimaces. “You and me, Jacky boy! Just like old times.”
“Get the fuck away from me,” Jack says dryly as Luke chuckles. Jack glares at his younger brother. “How come you get a solo room?”
“Because Quinn and Lauren are getting the other room.”
“And where is Maeve staying?”
“Probably in the basement so she doesn’t have to deal with all you guys.” Clementine retorts.
Jack turns to his parents. “You’re letting Clee and Nico share a room? And Quinn and Lauren?”
“We’re adults, you know?” Clementine sighs, pinching her nose. “You guys are exhausting. Move out of my way so we can get through.” She hears Nico stifle a laugh as they reluctantly clear a pathway. “Somehow they’re even more annoying during off-season than during the season,” she says as they climb up the stairs.
“It’s fine,” Nico chuckles. “It’s nice. The chaos, I mean. Tells a lot about who you are.”
“Don’t associate me with those fools,” Clementine says with no heat as she pushes open the door to the room in this house that’s always been designated as hers. “Here we are.”
Nico puts the bags down and immediately scans some of the photos framed on the wall. He ‘aww’s and she turns around to find him staring at the one of her and the boys during her UCLA graduation. “You guys are such babies here.”
“A week before Jack got drafted,” Clementine recalls fondly. “The boys surprised me. I didn’t think they were gonna come because they had so much hockey stuff going on.”
“You went to all their drafts, right?” Nico says. Clementine nods. “So of course they were there during one of your biggest moments.” Nico points to another photo of both families when they were all at this exact lake house. Her dad’s in this one. “When was this taken?”
“2013.” Clementine smiles sadly. “It was the last summer my dad came here. I know it’s one of Ellen’s favorites. Mine too.”
Nico hums, kissing her temple gently before scanning the rest of the room. It’s mostly white with some rustic elements, splashes of tan and ocean blue in the comforter and the sparse decorations. “Would I be right in assuming that this room hasn’t changed much since you were young?”
“It’s definitely cleaner,” Clementine laughs. “I know Jim and El use it as a guest room, but whenever I get the chance to come back, they say it’s mine.” There’s the sound of the front door opening and a cacophony of greetings floating through the room. She turns her body towards him and looks up at him. “Are you sure about this?”
“Well, even if I wasn’t, it’s a bit too late now, isn’t it?” He says. She pokes him in the side. He leans down to gently peck her lips twice. “Why are you so nervous? Shouldn’t I be the one who’s nervous?”
She chuckles. “Yeah, yeah. You’re right. Let’s go down.”
They walk down the stairs, Nico close behind her but not quite touching her. Clementine beams as she watches her mom hug Luke and put her hands on his cheeks before greeting Jack in the same way. She knows her mom doesn’t ever miss seeing the Devils or the Canucks when they’re playing the Bruins in Boston, but that only totals to usually only three games a season.
Clementine thinks a lot about how she sees Jim and Ellen as her parents. It’s during these moments does she remember that the boys see her mom the exact same way.
Maeve’s eyes flit up to the stairs and she raises an eyebrow. “My beautiful daughter. You look exhausted.”
Clementine snorts. “Thanks, Mom.” She descends down the last step and hugs her mother tightly, breathing in the scent that has comforted her on the best and worst days. She catches Quinn’s eye over Maeve’s shoulder as Trevor is chatting in his ear and she can’t help but grin.
Maeve pulls away and eyes Nico, a half smile on her face. “And you must be the infamous Nico.”
Nico chuckles, eyes widening momentarily as Maeve pulls him into a hearty hug. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Sandoval.”
Maeve lets out an affronted noise. “None of that. Call me Maeve. You European boys and your politeness.” Clementine laughs under her breath. “It’s so nice to meet you! My daughter hasn’t mentioned how handsome you are.”
“Probably because she’s the one carrying in the looks department of the relationship.” Nico grins charmingly and Clementine feels so fucking fond.
She then begins to leave her boyfriend and her mom to converse and turns to Quinn. Time with Quinn is always scarce. She leans up to wrap her arms around his neck. “Hey Q.”
“Hey Clem.”
Clementine turns to the beautiful girl next to him. “And you must be Lauren. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She also pulls the girl into a hug. “Quinn’s been keeping you away from me.”
Quinn shoots his older sister a dirty look. “That’s not true. It’s not my fault you don’t live in California any more.”
“It’s nice to meet you too,” Lauren says softly. “Quinn’s told me so much about you. I love your pants.”
Clementine looks down at her cream flowy pants with a wide smile. “Oh thank you! You’re gorgeous. How in the world did Quinn land you?”
Lauren laughs as Quinn groans. “Clem.”
“I’m kidding!” She ruffles his hair. “Damn, let me have my fun. I don’t get to do this often. And don’t pretend that you’re not about to grill Nico this entire weekend.”
“She’s got you there,” Lauren says with a laugh.
Trevor comes up inbetween the girls. “Have you met this one yet?” Clementine asks.
Lauren nods. “I have. Kinda. Hi Trevor. Quinn’s also told me a lot about you.”
Trevor’s eyes widen as he pulls Lauren into a side hug. “Never listen to anything Quinn says about me. He’s mean to me.”
“You guys are all mean to each other,” Clementine rolls her eyes. “I don’t know what point you’re trying to make.”
Maeve claps her hands. “Out of the doorway and into the backyard, everyone! El made sangria and it’s too nice to be inside.” She picks up her bags but is swatted away by Luke, who takes the bags from her hands. Maeve kisses him on the cheek. “Thanks, honey.”
Jack rolls his eyes as they all start walking towards the kitchen. “We get it, Maeve. Luke is your favorite.” Ellen gives him a warning look as Quinn snorts.
“You know,” Maeve starts. “I was about to tell you how glad I am to see you. But with that comment, I’ll abstain.” Jack pouts and Maeve rolls her eyes but messes up his hair fondly.
Nico places his hand on Clementine’s back and leans down to mutter in her ear. “I see where you get your sass from.”
Clementine chuckles under her breath. “You gotta have some sass to deal with them. My mom’s the blueprint.”
Everyone grabs a glass of sangria before they migrate outside. Clementine finds herself sitting in between Lauren and Luke, Nico sitting by her legs with everyone else in various chairs or on the grass in some sort of circle. Clementine automatically carding her fingers though Nico’s hair as she speaks to Lauren and Quinn. She still can’t believe they’ve been dating for over a year and she’s only met Lauren now.
If she was still in California, she would’ve flown her ass to Vancouver and parked herself at Quinn’s apartment at the first chance she had.
While she’s listening in on a conversation between Nico, Quinn and Trevor, she catches both her mom and Ellen’s eyes on her. She narrows her eyes. She sees her mom not-so-subtly eyeing her hand in Nico’s hair and him leaning back against her legs.
Jack notices, looking between the two of them with a smirk. “Thoughts, Maeve?”
“Jack,” Clementine says in a warning tone. Nico squeezes her ankle in reassurance.
“I didn’t even say anything!”
Maeve chuckles, and Clementine sees her smile, the same smile that everyone says she also has. “Nothing in particular. Just thinking about how fun your time in Jersey has probably been so far.”
Clementine bites her lip, closed lipped-smile threatening to burst through the seams. “It could be worse.”
As expected, Jack rolls his eyes and Luke gives her a dirty look. “Well, what could make it better?” Luke asks.
“If you guys cooked more for me.”
Quinn looks at his brothers with a disapproving look. “You’re making Clem cook for all of you? Guys, come on. She’s busier than all of us combined.”
Jack’s jaw drops wide open as Trevor cackles. “That’s not even true! We cook for you. Just not as much because you’re just a better cook. And you always have leftovers.” Jack reaches over to whack Clementine’s shoulder. “Stop making us look like bad roommates.”
Clementine chuckles to herself. She has a lot of favorite things in life, but making fun of her brothers and throwing them under the bus has to be at the top.
Nico looks up at her and she has to stop herself from leaning down and kissing him silly. “That cake you baked me for my birthday is still the best dessert I’ve had in awhile.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re just being nice. And, I baked another one for Jack and Luke, which circles back to my point.”
Ellen starts lightly scolding her two youngest for not cooking more and Clementine snickers as she feels Nico’s shoulders shake as he’s trying to hold back his laugh. She drops his hands from his hair and instead leans forward, wrapping her arms loosely around his neck. He automatically grabs her wrists and keeps his hands there. She places a quick kiss to the side of his head.
(Without their knowledge, Maeve catches the romantic motion. She doesn’t even bother to hide her smile.)
It’s not the first time she’s seen Nico around the people she loves, but that whole weekend, she watches him and her mom get along so well, him offer to help out Ellen and Jim for meals, him shove Trevor into the lake when he’s being an absolute pest, him sitting down with Quinn by the fire one night a bit away from everyone to talk about something that neither Quinn or Nico will tell her about so she knows it’s about her.
He slips so easily into the most important part of her life. Clementine doesn’t quite love him yet, but she’s real close.
Their last night, as they’re getting ready to sleep, Clementine's just staring at Nico from her bed as he’s in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He catches her eye in the mirror and smiles, but toothpaste dribbles down his chins causing him to curse and her to laugh.
When he climbs under the covers, she places her head on his chest. “Thanks.”
“For?”
“Coming here. I’m sure it’s a lot.”
“It’s not,” he assures gently. “Why would it be?”
She shrugs, because he’s right, in a sense. “Families are always a lot, no matter how good they are. And I know Quinn and Jimmy grilled you way more than necessary.”
“Baby,” he rubs up and down her arm. “I knew that was gonna happen as soon as I was invited here. They were more than fine. Jack and Luke’s threats were way worse.”
“They’re annoying.”
“They love you,” he says. “And they’re protective of you. I get it. I’m the same way with Nina.”
She shifts so she’s eye level with him. “About that…”
“Hm?”
“I got the okay from my supervisors to take two weeks off.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Can I still come to see you in Switzerland?” She asks, biting her lip, nervous all of a sudden.
Nico kisses her soundly. “Of course,” he mutters against her lips. “Yes. When?”
“I was thinking early July?”
“To spend your birthday?”
“If you’ll have me.”
He squeezes her exaggeratingly, making her giggle. “You’re silly. Of course. Is there anywhere you really wanna go?”
“I mean, I’ll go anywhere.”
“I can take you all around Switzerland. Give you the grand tour.”
“That sounds perfect,” she swallows before bringing up something that’s very important to her. “I’m paying half.”
Nico counters back immediately. “One third.”
She scoffs. She was prepared for this disagreement. “Half.”
“Hey,” he kisses the top of her head. “You’re coming to see me. The least I can do is handle all of that.”
“You’re housing me and taking me around. I’m paying for half.”
“Nope.”
“Nico. I am perfectly capable of paying for myself.”
“You pay for your own plane tickets and I got the rest.”
“I pay for my own plane tickets and meals and then you got the rest.”
“Schätzli. Let me take care of it, yeah? I want to. And I’m perfectly capable of doing so.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m a gold digger,” Clementine says with a bit of a whine, making Nico snort.
“I know you’re not a gold digger. If you were, you’d actually let Jack pay for you more. You know he makes more than I do, right?”
“Weird flex.”
“You pay for your plane tickets and some meals,” he compromises. “Save the rest up for something else. Buy Luke a new suit for his birthday or something.”
She chuckles. “He does need one.”
“Exactly.”
Clementine lets out relenting a sigh. She’ll just have to sneak her card in here or there. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. I just really don’t want you to think I’m mooching off you or anything.”
“I’ve never thought of it like that at all, I promise,” he assures. She settles back against his chest again. “I’m so excited for you to come.”
“I hope your family doesn’t hate me.”
“They won’t.” And he says it so confidently that she has to believe him. “No one could hate you. Besides, Nina’s been dying to meet you and Luca wants to know the ‘girl who’s voluntarily dealing with my shit.’”
She laughs, turning to shut off the lamp. “Still. You’re their baby brother.”
He pouts. “I’m not a baby.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’m convinced.” She yawns, tossing a blanket over them both. “We should sleep. Gotta have energy to deal with the hooligans in the car tomorrow.”
He laughs, kissing her forehead. “Goodnight.”
*****
Clementine offers to drive Nico to the airport before she goes to the hospital, even though he tries to vehemently fight her on it. Clementine ultimately wins the argument, wanting to spend as much time as possible before he leaves.
“It’s only a month,” she reminds him as she kills the engine at the curbside of the departure terminal at Newark Liberty International Airport, biting her lip to also assure herself.
He leans over the console to kiss her sweetly. “I know,” he murmurs against her lips. “That’s a long time though.”
She runs a hand through his hair. He leans into it instinctively. “I’ll be there with you before you know it. You’ll be having too much fun catching up with family and friends to even think about me.”
“Not true.” She rolls her eyes with a smile as they both climb out of the car. Nico finishes unloading his luggage from the trunk as he carries it to the curb. Clementine’s amazed that no one has yelled at them for parking by the curbside too long yet.
She wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly, leaning her head on his chest and breathing in deeply, trying to memorize his scent. “I’ll miss you.”
“I miss you already,” he mutters into her hair. “I’ll call.”
“You fucking better,” she shoots back with no bite. “Have fun, okay? Enjoy your time off.”
He kisses her one more time, which turns into three more times. Clementine bites her lower lip as he backs away to try not to cry. He brushes his thumb against her cheek. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
She nods with a shaky smile. “Yeah. Text me before you take off.”
“Of course.” He clasps his hand on his suitcase handles and backs away with a sweet smile. “Bye, baby.”
After he walks through the doors, she promptly drives herself to the train station, music playing louder than normal to hopefully drown out her own loud thoughts. She parks to see a text from Nico saying that he’s at the gate, a horribly-angled selfie of him and a coffee he must’ve bought.
Clementine saves it.
…..
It’s only been eleven days since Nico flew back to Switzerland. They text everyday and FaceTime when the time differences allow. She always wakes up to a good morning text and a mini photo dump of pictures he’s taken that day. Sometimes they’re of the beautiful sights of Bern or Naters or wherever he is. Sometimes they’re literally just a picture of his toast for breakfast. But they’re nice to receive. And at his urging, she sends similar photo dumps back. His favorites are the selfies she takes at work. Bonus points if she’s wearing the scrubs he got her for Christmas.
She goes to the hospital. She spends sporadic time with Quinn, Jack, Luke and other stragglers who show up at the apartment before they all head back to Michigan or wherever else. Nico relaxes with his friends and family.
She misses him like a limb.
…..
Clementine’s phone rings as she’s sipping on her coffee while sitting at a cafe by the hospital. She raises an eyebrow when she sees who’s calling.
“Quinn. Hey.”
“Hi Clem. Are you busy?”
“You have me for about 15 minutes. What’s up?” She hears a sniffle and immediately she sits up straighter. “Quinny? Is everything okay?”
“Lauren and I broke up.”
She squeezes her eyes shut. “Fuck. Oh Quinn, I’m so sorry. When did this happen?”
“Earlier this morning. She-she called it off. Over the phone.”
“Over the phone?” Clementine tries to level her voice and judgment. “Wasn’t she just in Michigan?”
“She left last week.”
“Fuck, Quinn. How are you feeling?”
“I just, I’m just really sad, I guess. And a bit confused.” She gives him a moment to think. “I know she was voicing concerns about the distance and stuff, but we had talked about it and I thought we had come to a conclusion. I guess we left that conversation feeling very differently.”
Clementine picks at her nails, “What was her reasoning? Did she have any?”
“She said the distance wasn’t worth it anymore.” Quinn trails off and Clementine puts it together, her heart breaking for him as she finishes the thought for him.
That Quinn wasn’t worth it anymore.
Clementine grinds her teeth together. “Fuck her,” she says. “I know that’s not what you want to hear right now, but I’m serious. What the fuck? She just suddenly decided that after dating for over a year that she couldn’t do it anymore?”
“Yeah. I’m confused about that too. When she was talking and explaining her reasoning over the phone I was just, like, shell-shocked. I think I froze. She was bringing up things that she hadn’t ever brought up before and I don’t know, it just felt like she had made the decision to break up with me before I even picked up the phone. It wouldn’t have mattered what I said.”
“That’s shitty, Quinny. How unfair.”
“I mean,” she knows he’s shrugging on the other side of the phone. She wishes she could hug him. “I know I wasn’t the perfect boyfriend and there were underlying issues, but I-I tried my best.”
“I know, Quinn. I know,” Clementine sighs. How do you comfort one of your best friends through heartbreak when you can’t actually be there? “Q, I’m so sorry. I have to head back to work, but I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Oh. That’s okay. You don’t have to. Thanks for listening anyways.”
“I’ll call you back tonight. I promise. I love you. Hang in there.”
“Thanks, Clem. Love you too.”
Clementine manages to do one thing she does very well, which is push something out of her mind and focus on the task at hand. The second she clocks out of the hospital, on her commute back to Hoboken, she thinks through how she wants to talk this through with Quinn. It’s not her first time talking someone through a break-up, so she’s learned a few tricks and phrases here and there. Like most things, it just comes with repetition.
But this is also Quinn. Her best friend. All her previous experience might not work and might not even matter.
She calls him as soon as she finishes her shower. She lets him talk for over two hours to the point where she has to adjust her position on the couch to be near an outlet so her phone can charge.
There’s nothing really to say in a situation like this, as Quinn details what sounds a lot like heartbreak. She wishes she was in Michigan and could give him the tightest hug. Watching and hearing his sniffles through the phone has her throat closing up and all she can do is listen.
But as she climbs into her bed that night, she lets out a breath. She’s sure it hurts so much now, but Quinn will find a way.
He always does.
…..
Clementine’s phone reads 6:28 a.m. local time when she lands in Zurich. She yawns as she watches the plane taxi to their gate, Taylor Swift’s “august” playing softly in her ears. Somehow, the two seats next to her were empty so she had her own row the whole flight, meaning she got to go up and pee without bothering a single person.
She turns on her phone, and texts the chat with the Hughes / Sandoval families that she’s landed, before thumbing over to her thread with Nico. He sent a text eight minutes ago.
Nico Hischier
At the arrivals area. Can’t wait to see you ❤️
Clementine Sandoval
just landed!!! can’t wait to squeeze you
Immigration and customs goes quickly, even if Clementine finds herself tapping her foot in line. She can already feel the heat of the Switzerland summer air seeping into her skin and she tugs off her sweatshirt, happy that she has a t-shirt underneath. Once she grabs her luggage from the carousel, she takes a deep breath, wheeling her suitcase through to the arrivals hall. Her eyes dart around to try and spot her boyfriend. It doesn’t take long.
The grin spreads on her face when she sees Nico. He’s wearing an olive green t-shirt that’s seen better days and dark jeans topped off with those scuffed up Nikes that he always seems to wear.
He’s holding a bouquet of wildflowers wrapped in newspaper, the sweetest smile peeking over. Clementine feels her heart threatening to burst out of her chest.
She almost knocks her suitcase over as she throws her arms around him. She feels him chuckle and place a kiss on the side of her head. “Hi Schätzli,” he says softly.
“Hi,” she pulls back and kisses him. But they’re both grinning too much to kiss properly. She holds his cheeks in her hand, happy to just be around him after a month. “I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you more,” he grins. “You look so beautiful.”
Clementine snorts because her Stanford t-shirt tied with her hair tie in the front and the black leggings with her Adidas definitely scream ‘I’ve been on a transatlantic flight and I need to shower.’
“I look like I just was on a plane for 8 hours,” she says dryly.
“Beautiful,” Nico says firmly as he takes the backpack off her shoulders and grabs her suitcase, giving her the flowers to hold. “For you”
She sniffs the flowers and smiles. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me these. They’re so pretty.”
“You’re so pretty,” he replies simply. That’s twice in 30 seconds. He turns to look at her again as they walk out to the parking lot. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
“Thank you for driving all this way. I know it’s early and far.”
“Of course. I just want to see you.”
It doesn’t feel like it’s been a month as Nico starts the drive to Bern to his sister’s place where they’re staying for a few days. The sun’s high in the sky despite the early hour, and Clementine happily sips on the coffee and munches on the croissant Nico had graciously gotten her. They catch up on each other’s weeks like they have been over the phone when they’ve been almost 4,000 miles apart. They talk about the teenager who recognized Nico the other day when Nico and his friends were playing a game of pick-up soccer and how they all played until sundown and Clementine having to step in to assist in a higher than average number of surgeries the last month, as well as having to work the Fourth of July. She holds his hand the entire time and both of them can’t seem to stop the smile from spreading across their lips.
She’s here. In the most beautiful country. With the most wonderful person.
“How are you feeling?” Nico asks. “Are you really tired?”
“I’m okay.” She yawns. “Even if I am, I’m not sleeping until at least 9 tonight. I’m not wasting time here by being jetlagged and sleeping at weird times.”
Nico laughs. “Fair. But it’s okay if you’re tired for a few days. I always am.”
“No wasted time,” she says, poking his shoulder on every word.
“If you say so,” he grins. “My mom’s making a huge breakfast for us when we get back and everyone’s excited to meet you.”
Suddenly, Clementine is nervous again. “She didn’t have to do that.”
“She wanted to,” he assures. “I haven’t brought a girl back home in…ever, really. They’re probably more excited to meet you than you are to meet them.”
“No pressure at all,” she says dryly.
He looks over at her and squeezes her hand. “You’ll win them over in minutes.” Clementine hums before Nico continues. “If Jack could somehow have them all liking him in a day, you’re gonna be perfectly fine. You’re all the best parts of him and more anyways.” She reaches over to fix a strand of his hair and she wants to smirk at the light blush that paints his cheeks. He clears his throat, “I was thinking of taking it easy today, just walking around the town and exploring the area a bit. And then dinner at my favorite place in town?”
“Sounds perfect to me.”
“I can’t believe you’re here,” he says breathily. “I, just…I can’t believe it.”
She grins, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Well believe it, pretty boy.”
(His stomach flips at being called ‘pretty boy.’ She hasn’t said that one yet. Two months after they’ve officially started dating and he still feels like a teenage boy with the biggest crush on the prettiest girl in school)
They pull up to Nina’s place and Clementine feels like she’s in a dream. Bern is beautiful everywhere you look. It’s almost like she’s in a picture book of a fairytale. She stretches and rises on her tiptoes to kiss Nico on the cheek to thank him for grabbing her luggage. She tugs at his t-shirt and he stops to turn to her, momentarily confused. She just wrap her arms around his waist again, wanting to feel him before they’re surrounded by his family. He chuckles, rubbing her back and kissing the top of her head three times.
As they’re walking up the steps to the front door, it swings open as Katja, Nico’s mother, beams. “You guys made it! Hello!”
Clementine can’t help but smile back. “Hi,” she shifts the flowers so that she can shake Katja’s hand, but Katja doesn’t bother and just wraps her into a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Mrs. Hischier. Thank you so much for having me.”
“Thank you for coming all this way,” Katja’s eyes shift to Nico, who’s a few steps behind with Clementine’s luggage. “Nico tells us good things.”
She chuckles and ducks her head. “I think your son is a bit too nice to me.”
“Ignore her, Mama,” Nico says as they all walk into the house. “The only person who doesn’t know she’s the best is herself.”
There’s footsteps coming down the stairs. Clementine’s met immediately with Nina’s smile. It’s the exact same as her mother and her brother’s and she is absolutely stunning. Luca is behind his sister as well with a matching grin. And Rino, who Clementine suddenly realizes is where Nico gets so many of his facial features from, just stands to the side with a small smile.
“You’re here!” Nina exclaims. Nico says something quick in Swiss German which Nina rolls her eyes at before she pulls Clementine into a tight hug. “It’s so nice to meet you, Clementine. We’ve heard so much.”
“Yeah,” Luca echoes. “I’ve never seen Nico so excited about someone.”
Nico groans and Clementine hugs Luca with a giggle before nudging her boyfriend. “He’s not so bad either.” She turns to shake Rino’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hischier. Thank you for having me.” Rino shakes her hand with a warm smile before Nico pinches her side and pulls her closer.
“Okay, breakfast is almost ready!” Katja claps her hands. “Nico, why don’t you show Clementine to your room? Luca and Nina, come help me finish up. Oh! I can take those flowers from you. Did Nico get you those?”
Clementine giggles as she hands them over. “He did.”
Katja pats Nico’s cheek in such a motherly way that it makes Clementine’s heart ache in the best way. “I did raise a sweet one.”
Nico groans. “Mama.” Clementine makes eye contact with Nina and they both burst out laughing. “Come on. You can take a quick shower and then we’ll come back down.”
Clementine shoots a quick grin at Katja, Rino, Nina and Luca before following Nico upstairs. She decides to jump into the shower quickly and rinse off, partially to wake her up, mostly to wash the grime of the plane off of her. Nico’s sitting on the bed scrolling through her phone when she comes back out, hair wet and dressed in a light sweater and linen shorts.
“The fact that there’s a window in the shower looking over the mountains is so unfair,” she says, combing her fingers through her wet hair.
Nico chuckles. “Pretty, hey?”
“Very,” she yawns. “Come on. Don’t wanna leave your family waiting.”
Breakfast is absolutely delicious and filled with warm conversation, mainly filled with the Hischier family asking Clementine questions about herself, which she happily answers inbetween way too much bread, butter and coffee. Nico tries to intercept a few times (“This isn’t an interrogation, Luca”) but she just waves him off. It’s not like she likes talking about herself, but when being surrounded by people everyday who know the ins and outs of her career, it’s refreshing to have people take interest in what she does who don’t work in the medical field at all.
After breakfast, Clementine and Nico venture into the town and Clementine is all smiles. The sun is out but it’s not too hot where she aches for shade like she does back in the US. She had changed into a dress after breakfast and doesn’t regret it, resisting the urge to twirl around the streets. It doesn’t hurt that Nico looks at her in a way that makes her giddy.
As they’re walking through the scenic old town, it’s obvious how relaxed Nico is. Away from New Jersey and the expectations that come with being the captain of the sole professional sports team from Garden State, Nico looks like every other guy in his mid twenties. It’s not like he isn’t happy in New Jersey, but there’s something freeing in the way he walks, his shoulders free from the weight he carries during the season.
They walk in the sun leisurely, stop by a few shops that look interesting to Clementine and grab coffee and pastries from a cafe that Nico apparently frequents often, judging by how friendly he is with the staff. She hasn’t really gotten to hear Nico speak his native language that often so she enjoys hearing him switch so effortlessly.
“You look happy,” Nico comments as they’re taking a break and sitting on a bench to people watch.
She tears her eyes away from an adorable family to meet Nico’s warm, brown eyes. “Do I?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I am. Are you?”
He presses a kiss to her temple and she leans her cheek against his shoulder. “Very much so.”
“Did I pass the test?” She teases. “Your family doesn't hate me?”
“Stop,” he says with a smile. “They love you. I can tell. I think my mom fell in love with you the second you talked about growing up with the boys.”
“Really?”
“She has a soft spot for sibling relationships. She always tells us how she’s glad me, Luca and Nina get along so well.”
“They’re great, by the way, your family,” she says. “Much less chaotic than mine, which is definitely a good thing. But really, really cool. I…” She trails off at the sight of a stray soccer ball.
Nico’s eyebrows furrow before he follows her eyeline. He chuckles and gets up, holding out a hand for her. “Come on. Let’s do some passing.”
She lights up at the idea of passing around a ball with the mountains in the background on a fairly large, grassy area. The most picturesque image you could find, she thinks. She takes his hand and scurries over, getting her feet familiar with the ball as he backs away a few feet.
They start some basic passing as they’re mindful of the fact that she’s wearing a dress. Clementine never saw soccer as more than a form of exercise in her youth, but she sometimes wishes she had time to join a rec league or something of that level in college and afterwards. The few people she keeps in touch with still in Toronto are mostly thanks to her club soccer days.
She’s definitely rusty, but it’s good to go through the familiar motions again. She wrinkles her nose when Nico pulls off an impressive move. “This is unfair. Are you good at every sport?”
He just shrugs modestly, before passing the ball back to her. “I definitely don’t look at ease with this ball on my feet like you do. How long did you play for?”
“Like, over 10 years?” She executes some footwork and smiles in satisfaction. “Played pretty intensely all the way up until I was 18.”
“I can tell,” he smiles. “My dad would be impressed.”
She snorts. “Don’t be ridiculous. I was never good enough to play at the collegiate level, much less professional.”
“It’s interesting that you do that.”
She stops the ball with her foot. “Do what?”
“Downplay your achievements.”
Clementine blinks a few times. “What do you mean?” But she knows exactly what he means.
Nico lets out a light snort, “You know what I mean. You’re probably the smartest and most interesting and talented person I’ve ever met. Even when you were talking to my family about your residency, you were talking about it like it isn’t a big deal. But it is a big deal. And it’s really fucking cool. And you’re so smart and quick and…I don’t know. I wish you would show off more, even though I know that’s not your style.”
She smirks. “You want me to show off?” Without waiting for an answer, she concentrates on the ball at her feet and looks up at the goal. She dribbles the ball a few seconds before striking it in the top right corner. She huffs, satisfied that she didn’t whiff it, laughing as Nico tackles her and lifts her up in a hug.
The next two days are spent in Bern, as Clementine fights the jetlag while her camera roll fills up. The Hischier siblings bring her around and she just soaks up the sunshine, views, and attractions. She especially loves flowing down the river on boats like the most seamless lazy river that just runs through the city, because you can’t really get that in the US. Nico continues bringing her around to his favorite hidden spots and to his favorite shops and restaurants, all with his hand in hers and the most beautiful smile on his face.
After Clementine says goodbye to Katja and Rino, the four of them take two cars to Zurich, Luca and Nina staying with friends while her and Nico rent out their own place. They arrive at a beautiful, spacious apartment that overlooks the center of Zurich. Clementine’s birthday is tomorrow and she has no idea what the plan is because she trusted Nico when he said he would handle it, but she’s a planner, so she can’t help but bring it up as they’re relaxing before heading out for dinner.
“Nico?”
“Yeah?” He calls out from the bathroom.
“Can you give me a hint on what we’re doing tomorrow?”
He peeks his head out of the bathroom with a smile. “I was wondering when you were gonna ask.”
She shrugs. “I trust you. But you know I’m nosy.”
Nico chuckles. “Yeah,” he comes out of the bathroom and takes his phone out of his pocket. Once unlocked, he tosses it at her. He’s lucky she has okay reflexes.
She raises an eyebrow at him before looking at his phone. Immediately, she gasps and drops the phone as it lands on the carpet on the floor. “Nico.”
“Yeah?”
“Nico,” she repeats, breathless. “You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“Taylor Swift? How long have you had these? How did you even get them?”
He comes over to sit on the arm of the sofa. “Nina’s a big fan. When you said you were gonna coming here for your birthday, she mentioned that Taylor Swift was gonna be in town at the same time. I pulled a few strings.”
She picks up the phone and swipes through the tickets, shellshocked. “Seven tickets?”
“Me, you, Nina, one of her friends, Luca and two of his friends. I guess they’re all kind of my friends too. I hope that’s okay?” He asks, eyebrows furrowed worriedly.
“Nico, shut up. I’m gonna see my favorite artist live and I wanna meet your friends. Of course it’s okay,” she tackles him onto the couch as he laughs. “I-I can’t believe…thank you. Oh my god.”
“Good birthday present?” He jokes.
She kisses him fondly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna beat this for yours.”
“Stop,” he murmurs, deepening the kiss. “I’m supposed to ask you if you have something to wear and if not, that you and Nina can find something tonight or tomorrow morning.”
She thinks of the light pink sequin dress she had thrown into her suitcase last minute, grateful for her past self’s decision. “I think I have something, but if I see something when we’re walking around later, I’ll let you know.” She holds his face in her hands. “Thank you. Seriously. First the whole trip and then this. I’ll pay you back for the tickets as-”
“No you won’t,” he says against her lips. She pulls back and gives him an unimpressed look. “I barely paid for them. It would be unfair to ask you to. It’s your birthday. It’s my present to you.”
Let other people do things for you for once, Clem, Quinn’s voice echoes through her head. He’s said multiple iterations of it throughout the years, but this one in particular she can envision, at dinner right after the Canucks played San Jose back in her Stanford days. That was about something simpler — arguing over who was paying for dinner — but the sentiment remains the same.
“Fine. But I’m paying for everyone’s dinner tonight.”
“Of course,” he beams.
“I mean it,” she warns.
“I know.”
She slaps his shoulder with a smile. “You fucker. I can’t believe you got those tickets.”
“27 is gonna be a good year, hey?”
She launches herself into his arms.
Yeah, it is.
…..
Clementine wakes up on her birthday to Nico pressing kisses all over her face as she squeals and wiggles around. She stretches and her arm whacks him in the face, causing him to groan. She kisses him as an apology.
“Happy birthday, honey,” he says, hovering over her with a light smile. “I can hear your bones cracking already.”
“I will push you off the bed.”
“Empty threats.”
She yawns. “How much time before everyone gets here?”
“Like, two hours? Why?”
“Perfect,” she says, pulling him closer to kiss him feverishly. He lets out a soft moan and she melts into a puddle
An hour and a half later, Clementine fiddles with the coffee maker in the kitchen as everyone starts filing in. Nina is first to bounce over and gives Clementine a big hug, wishing her a happy birthday. She meets their friends and glares at Luca as he places a large bag on the table with tissue paper peeking out of it. She doesn’t need birthday presents. But it’s sweet they thought of her anyways.
After lunch at a nearby outdoor cafe that Clementine falls in love with, everyone heads back. The guys venture out to the balcony while she, Nina and Anika, Nina’s friend, quickly make some friendship bracelets and start getting ready. Clementine’s almost done curling Nina’s hair when Nico peeks his head in, lighting up at the open box of beads on the table. He scurries in to grab the supplies and takes them outside without a word.
Anika, who’s been doing Nina’s makeup while Clementine’s been doing her hair, grins. “You two are cute together.”
“Oh, thank you.” Clementine looks up to flash a quick smile before focusing on not burning Nina or herself.
“I’ve known Nico since he was a baby,” Anika says. “Always the younger one, he was chasing us all the time. Wanted to do everything we were doing. But it was Nico and he was so sweet, so we never said no.”
Clementine chuckles. “Yeah, I get that feeling. Not that my brothers necessarily wanted to do everything I did, but they were never far behind me when we were young.”
“Right,” Anika dabs the liquid blush on Nina’s cheeks. “That’s how you and Nico met, right? Your brothers play with him in New Jersey?”
“Yeah.”
Clementine’s taken aback tone must show because Nina smiles at her through the mirror. “My brother has talked about you quite a bit since he’s come back.”
That makes Clementine look down a bit abashed. “I guess they aren’t technically my brothers,” she clarifies. “I just grew up with them.”
“So like me and Nina here.”
“Yeah. Exactly like that.”
“Do you play hockey?” Anika asks, stepping back as she finishes Nina’s makeup.
Clementine snorts, spraying hairspray into Nina’s hair. “No. You do not want to see me on skates. I played soccer. Or football, I guess.”
“But you enjoy watching it?”
The conversation momentarily pauses as Clementine is ushered into the hot seat. Nina unplugs the curler and plugs in the straightener (“I want to try something”) as Anika takes a look at Clementine’s makeup products.
“I do,” Clementine says. “Enjoy watching hockey, I mean. I don’t know if that would be the same if I wasn’t so closely connected with the sport personally, but I do enjoy it. It’s more comforting now than anything.”
“I still remember the day Nico got drafted,” Nina says wistfully. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”
“And I remember everyone here staying up to watch it,” Anika adds. “There were people piling into the streets after in celebration.”
Clementine grins. “Yeah, I get that. I still remember Quinn, Jack and Luke’s draft days. It’s an extremely weird moment. Like, it’s wonderful of course, but also strange?”
“That makes sense,” Nina says. “It’s really cool to see how things have turned out since then, but it’s an interesting moment for sure. Especially when you remember Nico, or in your case, Quinn, Jack and Luke, as little boys just being little boys.”
“Nico’s really happy with you, I can tell,” Anika says. “And I don’t just say that to say that. His smile looks lighter. Freer.”
“I think that just might be because he’s home.”
“It’s because of you,” Nina says in a tone that leaves room for no argument.
When she slips into her pink dress and puts the bracelets on her wrist as they’re about to head out, it hits her what’s really about to happen. She’s about to see her favorite artist. She still remembers being gifted a CD of Taylor’s debut album from her father, Teardrops On My Guitar on repeat. After the Eras Tour sold out in seconds and the resale tickets were way too high, she lost hope on ever seeing Taylor on tour, at least this go-around.
She walks down the stairs and the first thing she sees is Nico. Dressed up in a light pink button up with khaki shorts, a backwards hat placed on his head, laughter etched in the lines on his face as he converses with his friends and siblings in his native language, she swallows. He looks up as she reaches the last step and his smile turns softer. Nina’s previous words echo her mind as she easily presses against his side.
Clementine wrinkles her nose as she looks up at him. “You really do love your hats.”
“You don’t?”
“They’re fine. I just like your hair more.” Without argument, he takes his hat off and tosses it on a nearby couch. She gives him a look but he just kisses the top of her head.
The closer they reach Letzigrund, a football stadium, Luca had said, she marvels at how large it is. She’s been to large concerts before, but as they park and make their way through the gates, she’s taken aback. Nico gently tugs their hands so she doesn’t get lost in the ground as they go find their seats. Turns out Nico pulling a few strings means tickets on the floor, not too close to the action where they would get pushed but at a vantage point where they’re in the center and can see everything. She turns to look at him bewildered and he just shrugs, a wry smile playing at his lips.
She pokes him. “Best birthday present ever.”
He takes a sip of his beer casually. “I’m glad. You know I prepared for this.”
“How?”
“I’ve been listening to Taylor Swift non-stop the last month.”
“I know we haven’t been dating for a long time, but all I do is play Taylor Swift.”
“True. But I didn’t realize how many songs she actually has. And you’re probably gonna know all of them.”
“Probably,” she admits. She’s definitely the biggest fan among the group right along with Anika. “But you don’t have to know all of them to have a good time.”
“I know. I heard she puts on a good show.” They watch Yannis, one of their friends, exchange bracelets with a stranger before Nico nudges her lightly. “I’m also just, I don’t know, excited because you’re excited.”
She snorts. “You’re a sap.”
What she wants to say, really, is “I love you.” But she refrains.
Throughout the whole concert — which in itself is a highlight of her life and something she won’t ever forget — Clementine wants to tell him she loves him. When Taylor appears in her colorful, sparkly bodysuit and sings ‘Lover’ while Nico’s arms find their way around her waist as he’s standing behind her swaying them lightly, she wants to tell him. When she, Nina and Anika loop their arms around each other screaming ‘You Belong With Me’ and he simply points his phone at them with a laugh, she wants to tell him. Right before the bridge of ‘Champagne Problems,’ when he whispers a soft “wow,” eyes glued on Taylor on stage as she sings one of Clementine’s favorite songs of hers, she wants to tell him. When he quickly leaves and comes back in the middle of ‘Delicate’ with a beer for her and a water for them to share, she wants to tell him.
When ‘Long Live’ comes on and she sees his eyes light up in recognition, before he pulls his phone out to record the end — her favorite part and the fact that he knows that is something in itself — she wants to tell him. When he and the boys scream ‘22’ so incredibly out of tune and she can’t stop laughing, she wants to tell him. When she fully loses her voice screaming out ‘Illicit Affairs’ and he can’t hide his grimace at his eardrums bursting, she wants to tell him. As they both watch Anika practically collapse when the opening notes of ‘Style’ ring out — she had come into the concert blind to the setlist somehow — and Clementine can’t help but shake her hips while singing along, she wants to tell him.
When he presses a kiss on her temple multiple times during the surprise songs as she is tearing up, she wants to tell him. When Taylor closes out the show with ‘Karma’ and Nico is visibly in awe of all the colors, fireworks, confetti and overall grand finale, she wants to tell him.
She leans into his side as they walk to their cars. She loves him. They bid farewell to everyone. She loves him. When they get back to their place, they decide to rinse off the sweat and grime together and he gently rubs massages shampoo into her hair. She loves him.
As Nico falls fast asleep next to her, arm wrapped securely around her waist, she’s about to lock her phone when she sees that she has a few text messages. They’re from Nina, who has already speedily downloaded the pictures she took on her digital camera from tonight. She thumbs through them quickly, smiling at all of them.
She stops at one of her and Nico taken before the show in front of the stage. They’re both not looking at the camera but at each other. She’s in the middle of talking — about what, she can’t remember — as Nico is just smiling at her.
She looks down at the sleeping man next to her. She loves him so fucking much.
…..
(She does end up telling Nico that she loves him a few days later, as they’re weaving through a farmer’s market in Lucerne, him carrying the bags filled with fresh vegetables and other groceries that they’re using to make dinner tonight. She thinks he doesn't hear her at first, but he tugs them towards the side and drops the bags so he can cup her face in his hands and kiss her.
“You love me?” He murmurs.
“Yeah,” she whispers. “I-I know it’s soon and you don’t have to say it back-”
He shakes his head with a grin, “Shut up.” He kisses her again. “I love you, Schatz.”
“Really?” She swallows. “You’re not just saying that?”
“I love you,” he repeats firmly. “I adore you, if we’re gonna be honest. You’re getting really close to be one of the best things that Jersey has brought me.”
“Well, now you’re just being stupid. How about, oh I don’t know, your entire career?”
He picks up their bags again, tossing an arm over her shoulder. “One of the best. Love you.”
She lets out a happy sigh, momentarily leaning her head on his shoulder as the sun hits their skin)
…..
The Switzerland tour is wrapped up in the best way, in Nico’s hometown of Naters, right by the mountains. Seriously, how is one country allowed to be this beautiful? She gets to hear the stories that litter these streets, the memories associated with the air interlacing with the wind, from a man who she loves and loves her. She tries not to think about how this is the last moments they’ll have until he comes back to New Jersey in September.
The night before she takes off, they go out to dinner at a fancy enough place that Clementine’s pulling out one of her more formal dresses. The candlelight illuminates Nico reverently, his brown eyes not tearing away from her for more than 15 seconds the whole night. The attention would be overwhelming, but Clementine just lets herself sink into it.
This feeling of being loved like this? It’s new. And she’s fully aware that it’s fragile and it could crumble any minute. But not right now. Not with Nico looking at her like she’s the only person in the room.
When he drops her off at Zurich airport the next day, she hugs him for a full minute. She doesn’t cry, but there’s a pull at her heart that plants the silly idea of staying here forever just so that she doesn’t have to leave him. But she pulls away, kisses him one more time, runs a hand through his hair, before grabbing her things and walking through the automatic doors.
…..
Clementine’s about to take a shower when she hears a key click into place. Seconds later, she’s sandwiched between Jack and Luke, uncontrollably laughing. She’s missed them dearly.
Luke smacks a kiss on her cheek. Jack ruffles her hair. She scolds them about leaving their bags in the front door where anyone could trip on them.
They’re back for another season, albeit a bit early to spend their last few summer days in the city. Nico lands tomorrow. Her Google Calendar has been synched with the Devils and Canucks game schedules.
Suddenly, the heat wave that’s hit New York / New Jersey doesn’t feel so constricting anymore.
…..
She might’ve had to bribe Ben to switch shifts with her, but there was no way she was gonna miss the home opener. Even if she’s extremely tired.
Clementine somehow makes it home before Jack and Luke are due to be at the rink earlier than normal for the carpet and other things. They’re both dressed and ready to head out. It’s a reminder that if Clementine sits on her couch for even 5 minutes, she will fall asleep. So she shouldn’t do that.
Not even a minute after she shut the front door, there’s a knock. Jack calls out that it’s open and Nico walks in.
If this were a few months ago, Clementine would blame just getting back from a long day of work for her eyes literally popping open. But it’s not, and she calls the man who walked through the door her boyfriend. Yet here she is, in her scrubs with her messy ponytail and smelling of hospital, just staring.
Holy. Shit. Nico looks hot. Which, like, yeah, he always does. Clementine is well aware that her boyfriend is a very attractive man. But something about the new green three piece suit that she had helped him pick out over FaceTime when he was still in Switzerland and his hair and the overall look has her literally speechless.
Luke, like the bitch he is, takes note and just laughs. “Cat got your tongue, Clemmy?”
She finds her voice. “Fuck off.”
Nico just smirks as he hugs Jack and Luke before walking over to give her a peck, “Hi.”
“Absolutely not,” she backs away when Nico reaches for a hug. He pouts but she shakes her head. “I just worked for 12 hours in a hospital. You do not want to hug me.”
“Of course I want to hug you. I love you.”
Somewhere behind them, she hears a gag. Gags, actually. She sticks out her middle finger behind her back before leaning in to give him another kiss. “I’ll hug you after the game when I’m clean.” He ignores her and just smothers her in a hug as she squeals. He presses exaggerated kisses all over her face as she tries to slither out of his hold. “Stop!” She breathes out in between laughs. “I’m literally so gross.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Can you two not?” Luke deadpans.
The couple both roll their eyes. “This is nothing,” Clementine retorts.
“I know, which makes it worse.”
Jack snorts as he grabs his water bottle and keys. “You two ready to go? We’re cutting it close.”
“Yeah,” Nico tosses Jack his eyes. “You guys go down first. I’ll be a second.”
Jack looks between his captain and sister with a subtle glare. “Five minutes.”
“We are older than you,” Clementine retorts. Jack rolls his eyes before exaggeratedly blowing a kiss to Clementine. She scoffs but blows him and Luke a kiss as they walk out the front door. “They’re annoying.”
Nico chuckles, before brushing a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. “How was your day?”
“Fucking brilliant,” she deadpans. “You can’t tell by my messy hair and eye bags?”
His eyebrows furrow. “If you’re too tired to come to the game, you don’t-”
“Don’t even finish that sentence. I’m not missing the home opener. Are you insane? I’ll be good after a shower and a beer or two.” She places her hands and gently straightens his jacket into place. “You look incredibly hot.”
“Yeah?”
She kisses the smirk off his face. “Oh please. Like you don’t know.”
“It’s a good ego boost hearing that from the person’s opinion I care about the most.”
She gently brushes her hand through his hair. “I’m a very lucky woman.”
“I’m the lucky one,” he presses one last kiss on her lips. “I’ll see you after?”
She tilts her head to the side and pouts a bit. “Thought I was going home with you after no matter what, Captain.”
Nico’s eyes darken the slightest bit. Bingo. “Careful, baby.”
Clementine shrugs nonchalantly. “Have fun. Maybe score a goal or two for me?”
“What do I get if I do?”
“Careful, baby,” she echoes with a smirk. “You should head out before Jack and Luke storm back in here. And you know they will.”
He groans. “You ruined the moment.”
She chuckles, gently shoving him back. “Good luck. I’ll see you soon. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
…..
It’s not like anything is wrong, perse.
Clementine doesn’t often get into her overthinking moods. Frankly, she doesn’t have time for it. Since she was 18, it was study hard, let herself be dragged out once in awhile by her friends away from the books, listen to her own gut when it told her she actually needed a break, feel herself falling more in love with medicine and patients and caring for them, rinse and repeat. She’s 27 now, and the contours of that thinking have adjusted to whatever moment she’s in, but her core is still the same.
But when she finds herself in these overthinking moods, it consumes her. Her mom once told her it causes her to think irrationally, and Clementine had snapped back, even though deep down, she knew it was true.
These overthinking moods could be about anything, and have been about anything. From grades, to the overwhelming ache of missing her father, to questioning if the path she’s worked so hard for is worth it, to questioning if going to California for eight years and away from everyone was the best choice or just the convenient excuse she could use when in reality, she was running from her problems. From watching Quinn, Jack and Luke from right next to them but also from so, so far away, to making sure her mother still enjoys and loves life even though it’s been almost ten years since she lost her partner, to her own self worth and if she’s as good of a person that everyone always tells her she is and how that can be true if sometimes she feels like she’s grasping at straws.
The point is, Clementine knows herself well enough to know when one of these moods is coming.
It hits her full force on her commute the way to the hospital, because of course it does. Last night had been really fun with the season home opener. She sat with all the significant others for the first time and the vibe was high. When Nico had scored, the girls had all cheered and pointed to her as she finished off a beer. Some of the fans had given her high fives and maybe had caught on, she thinks, especially because she was wearing a 13 jersey and Nico had pointed in her direction after he scored. But Devils fans are also just really nice, so it also could’ve been nothing.
She already had a lot of the other women’s phone numbers from last year’s Friendsgiving, but she was officially added into the group chat because she’s not just Jack and Luke’s pseudo-sister who lives with them anymore. She’s also the captain’s girlfriend.
Something about that has her mind racing this morning as she watches the streets of New York City at 7:29 a.m. outside the bus window. Now she’s thinking about whether she should be doing more because of that title. In the grand scheme of things, her and Nico haven’t been dating for that long. Realistically, she knows no one is expecting her to do anything more. She venmoed Nicole immediately yesterday when she had casually mentioned the money pool all the significant others have for various things like events, gifts and other things. But should Clementine be the one spearheading that because her boyfriend’s the captain? She just got here. She has no fucking idea.
She always thought being surrounded by hockey her whole life would help her in most of these situations. Not this one.
When the time comes — if the time comes and her and Nico even last as long as she wants to — and off-season comes back around, is he gonna expect her to spend it in Switzerland with him? Obviously, that didn’t happen this summer because they had literally just started dating, but what about the future? She wouldn’t ever ask him to move his training closer to her, but how would off-seasons work in different countries when the regular season is already crazy enough? She knows All-Star breaks and off-season vacations are a thing, but with her inflexible work schedule, how is all that going to work? Will he be upset that she probably won’t be able to join him? What if, somehow, Nico is traded to another team? Clementine’s home for the next four years is going to be New Jersey / New York. And then, vice versa, what happens if her future leads her to yet another part of the country?
Yeah, she’s majorly overthinking now.
Usually, she would talk to someone about it, but in a rare instance, her mind comes up blank. Her mom and Ellen would just tell her to slow down and that she’s being silly. Emilia and her other friends at the hospital would listen, but wouldn't really get it. The other significant others are nice, but she doesn’t feel particularly close enough with any of them yet to voice her intrusive thoughts. No way is she talking to Quinn, Jack or Luke about this.
That would leave Nico. But there’s something about that that feels off too.
She’s also been told multiple times that she can’t keep things to herself. And she really does think she’s gotten better at it throughout the years. But old habits die hard. So she also does something she’s really good at. Putting it all away the second she walks into the hospital
The next time she thinks about it is during a quick break she has inbetween patients, when she checks her phone and sees the notifications from the significant other group chat. Nothing important as she thumbs through quickly, but it still leaves her with a weird feeling in her stomach.
And again, she wills those thoughts to go away as she steps back out into the hallway.
The next few days, Clementine doesn’t see Nico much. She’s at the hospital and he’s busy with the new season starting and getting back into the swing of things, making sure his team is doing well on and off the ice and making sure new guys are acclimating. It’s nothing out of the ordinary — it’s not like she’s seeing Jack and Luke that much either while living with them. But she also knows deep down that it’s more than that.
A week and a half after the season opener, Nico texts her to see if she wants to come over to his after her shift and they can make dinner together. Despite whatever weird things she’s thinking, she says yes. It hits her like a brick that they haven’t seen each other since Nico kissed her goodnight after the season opener.
She can tell something is on his mind immediately, or maybe that he knows something is on her mind, but they both don’t mention it the whole night. Instead, they loosely follow a steak dinner recipe Nico found online and keep the topics light.
But she can’t help but feel like something is off the whole night. Clementine knows she should ask him. Talk to him about it.
She doesn’t.
Her stomach remains in weird knots for the next few days when she lets herself think even for a second about her boyfriend, who’s supposed to be the person she can talk to these things about, right? Clementine’s a bit out of practice — it’s been over three years since she’s had anything sembling a relationship — but goddamn, she doesn’t think this is normal.
But she doesn’t want to burden Nico. He’s already overwhelmed enough with everything on his plate. She can see the wheels constantly turning in his mind. She doesn’t want to add onto that.
So, Clementine avoids.
…..
More patients. More long hours. The Devils first road trip. She should’ve known the people she lives with would pick up on something sooner than later.
“Are you and Schao fighting?”
Clementine has no idea where that nickname came from and has never asked. Hockey players are weird creatures, the nicknames they give their teammates included.
She keeps her head down, putting the chicken pot pies in the oven. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I asked if he wanted to come by for dinner and he made some shitty excuse about calling his family or something.”
“Calling family is not a shitty excuse,” Clementine says automatically. Her back is towards them, but she knows Luke always beelines directly towards the bathroom to rinse off right after practice. So Jack’s the one who’s dropping their bags loudly on the floor. “Bags against the wall, Jacky.”
He grumbles and Clementine smirks to herself in satisfaction as she hears Jack move the bags. “So? Trouble in paradise?”
“None of your business.”
“Dude.”
“I mean it. None of your business.”
She doesn’t exactly snap — somehow, Quinn, Jack and Luke have never annoyed her enough to make her want to — but it’s something close to it. Silence, and then she hears Jack rounding the kitchen island. He tugs at her arm. “Do I need to beat him up? I know he’s my captain or whatever, but I will.”
“Absolutely not.” She finally makes eye contact with him and is taken aback at how serious Jack looks. “I’m not fucking with your team chemistry.”
“Who cares about team chemistry?” Jack asks, watching as she stirs the glazed carrots. “You’re my sister. So I’ll ask again. Do I need to whoop his ass?”
She sighs, leaning her hip against the counter. “No.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She shrugs. “There’s nothing much to it. Just a bump in the road, I guess.”
“About?” Jack presses lightly.
Clementine bites her lip. One part of her is telling her that she shouldn’t talk to Jack — or Luke — about her relationship troubles simply due to the fact that Nico’s their captain and friend and teammate and rock and all of that. But the other part of her does want to finally talk to someone. “I think we’re trying to figure out how to be together with both our busy schedules and it’s…tougher than we anticipated.”
Jack hums, “I see.”
Despite herself, Clementine snorts. “I’m not getting relationship advice from my younger brother. I’m not stooping that low.”
“Lame,” Jack shoots back. “Your loss. I think I could give you some decent Nico advice. I’ve known him much longer than you have, you know.”
He does have a point. She watches him blow a piece of hair out of his face in thought. Then, Luke walks in with his damp hair.
“What are you guys talking about?” Luke asks.
“Nothing.”
“Nico.” She glares at Jack, who just shrugs with a smirk.
Luke sits down across from her. “Oh wonderful. We’re talking about how miserable he’s been lately?”
Clementine busies herself by pouring him out a glass of water. “Nico’s been miserable?”
“Uh, yeah.” Luke says in a know-it-all voice that has her wanting to smack him on the head. “Besides, like, maybe a few smiles on the ice after a good play or game or whatever, he’s just had those sad eyes.”
Ah, yes. Those sad eyes. Clementine’s acquainted herself with those, even last season when they weren’t together. They come out after every loss. They’ve never come because of her.
She shrugs, trying to be casual about it. She can feel Jack’s eyes narrowing and knows that his brain is moving. People don’t give Jack enough credit for how perceptive he can be. He tugs at her sleeve again, and Clementine sighs, lowering the flame so she can give him his full attention.
“Do I need to talk to him?” Jack asks softly. “I don’t like seeing either of you sad.”
“Wait, hold on,” Luke interrupts. “You can’t talk to him if you don’t know what’s going on, Jacky.”
“No one is talking to anyone,” she says. “We just haven’t been able to see each other much lately. Or don’t want to. I don’t know.”
“Clee.” Jack says flatly.
She finally cracks, swallowing. “Obviously, I know what a season looks like. I mean, fuck, I lived with you two last year and I literally grew up with hockey all around me. I know it’s busy and I know he’s even busier because he’s captain or whatever. But shit, sometimes it feels like…I don’t know.”
“It feels like what?” Jack presses.
She puts her head in her hands for a few moments before looking back up, squeezing her eyes together to keep the frustrated tears at bay. “Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t even want to be around me. Like we’re strangers or just friends or whatever”
“What?” Luke deadpans. “Clemmy, that’s…what?”
Jack throws his brother a dirty look. “Let her finish.”
“And it’s on me too,” she continues as if they hadn’t interrupted. “Like, yeah, he’s busy, but so am I. And I’ve been taking extra shifts and staying at the hospital to study longer because things are getting harder but, I don’t know. I guess now that we’re actually in the season it’s a whole other thing. I know I’m being unreasonable. Maybe I’m just not cut out for a relationship or whatever.”
She knows the last sentence is an intrusive thought. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t have some semblance of meaning.
“That’s stupid,” Jack says. Clementine looks up from the table to look at him sadly. He has a look of fire in his eyes. “The last part, I mean. Not cut out for a relationship? What does that even mean?”
“If that’s not it, what is?” She huffs out. “I just feel like, I’m losing him? Assuming that I had him in the first place, I guess.”
“Clementine,” Luke starts. He never calls her by her government name. “What are you talking about? That boy is head over heels for you. You’ve had him since the moment you two met, I’m pretty sure.”
“Have you guys talked about this?” Jack asks. “Like, actually sat down and talked about how you’re feeling and why you’re upset.”
“How can we talk when I don’t even know why I’m upset?”
“It doesn't need to be, like, extremely coherent. Even if it doesn’t come out pretty or whatever, at least he’d know and stop making assumptions. And as someone who knows Nico, he’s definitely doing that, but probably not talking to you about it because he thinks he’ll just burden you with it.”
Clementine groans. “That’s the crux of it, I think. We’re not talking about the things that matter. We should be able to do that. Because I also think I’m burdening him with my unnecessary problems.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Luke starts. “Cap’s miserable and you’re miserable because you’re not…talking to each other?”
“Well, when you put it like that, I sound like a dumbass.” She picks at her nails. “It’s also more than that. A lot of factors involved.”
“I’ll talk to him,” Jack promises.
Clementine glares at him. “No. Stay out of it, Jacky. You too, Luke. I’m not putting you guys in the middle of our shit when you have to play with him.”
“I’m not gonna say anything bad,” Jack says. “You said that you feel like he doesn’t wanna talk to you, right? Which I know is a load of bullshit. He, again, probably just thinks he’s bothering you with his shit because that’s how Nico operates. He’s a great captain and will listen to anyone else’s problems, but thinks that no one wants to hear his, which, like you said, is stupid, especially when it comes down to you two. I’ll talk to him, Clee. Give him a little push. And then you two need to talk.”
She turns towards Luke — since when does she trust Luke enough to determine a good idea from a bad one? — who shrugs. “It wouldn’t hurt,” Luke says. “Jack has a way of getting through to Nico like no one else can.”
“Yeah, but that’s on ice stuff. This is off-ice stuff. And something that doesn't involve you guys.”
Jack lets out a little noise at that. “Hate to say it, but the second you guys started dating, we were already involved.”
She sighs. Because he’s right. Again. “I love him,” she says.
“I know. And he loves you too. No one’s doubting that,” Jack says. The oven beeps and before she can move, Luke rushes to gather the pies. “I won’t overstep, I promise.”
They let the topic go for the rest of dinner.
…..
Clementine doesn’t even get the chance to fully swing open the door the next afternoon before Nico’s pulling her into a tight hug. She freezes for a few seconds before melting into his embrace, rubbing her thumbs against the back of his neck as he rests his head on her shoulder. He mumbles something and she asks him to repeat it.
He straightens up, hands still wrapped around her and clears his throat. “I always want to be around you.”
She blinks, before sighing in realization. “Whatever Jack said, it’s-”
“It’s not about what he said,” Nico says, closing the door behind him. “Not entirely. He just…lit a fire up my ass a bit.”
“A bit too bluntly and with so little tact that would seem rude if it wasn’t coming from Jack?”
Nico snickers. “Yeah.” He calms down and looks at her seriously. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she responds automatically.
“No, I mean,” he pauses and swallows. Clementine knows his wheels are turning. Even after being in North America for almost a decade, sometimes his English fails him and it takes a few moments for him to formulate what he wants to say. “I love you. I always want to be around you. I want to hear about your days at the hospital and I want to kiss you after every win and to hug you after every loss. But most importantly, I want to hear about your thoughts and feelings about everything, and that includes us. I’m sorry that you haven’t felt comfortable to do that lately.”
Her heart lurches and she places her hands on his cheeks. She can’t take the sad, watery eyes. “Hey. Hey. It’s okay. It’s alright. It’s on me too.”
He vehemently shakes his head, his hands reaching to wrap around her wrists. “No, it’s not. I-I’m the one with- you’ve given me so much control, with the season and everything, when you’re just as busy. Probably even busier than me. Shit, you’re literally a doctor. That’s nothing compared to what I do.”
“Nico-“
“I know I need to work on communicating and letting people in. It’s been an issue my whole life. Just ask Nina. I, you know, the team is wonderful and supportive, but I still feel the need to not let them know too much about my struggles, you know? Because I’m supposed to be the leader. But you’re not part of the team. Not in that way. You’re my girlfriend. My best friend. And I need to work on talking things through with you instead of my instinct of shutting down or dealing with it myself.”
Clementine blinks, taking it in. She’s always known Nico to be self aware, but this is a whole new level.
He kisses her gently, before pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I’ll be better. That’s a promise. You can come to me with anything, even if you don’t think it’ll be something I want to hear. You can trust me. Rely on me. I’ll prove it to you everyday.”
“You don’t need to prove anything to me,” she says, rubbing his cheekbones with her thumbs. “Just…please talk to me? And I also need to work on doing that with you. I know we’re both busy and have our own separate lives-”
“You are a part of my life,” Nico assures. “A huge part. Like yeah, it’s separate with the fact that you have the hospital and your people there and I have hockey and the people there, but not really. We’re a team, right?”
She smiles at him repeating her words back to her face. She had said that once in their phone calls over the summer where she started rambling about how she’s always seen romantic relationships as more than just sweeping each other off their feet. ‘If the two people aren’t on the same team, then what’s the point? Then it’s just two people with a whole lot of feelings who never truly see each other eye to eye’ she had said.
“Yeah. We’re a team. Since we’re a team, can I propose something?”
“Anything,” Nico rushes out. And it’s so nice to know for sure that he means it.
“Can we try to do one night a week? Just for us? Unless you’re on a road trip or I have a weird shift schedule for some reason. Obviously, more would be great, but one at the bare minimum?”
Nico hums. “One guaranteed date night with you every week? I think I can manage.”
“You think?” she pokes his side.
“It’s perfect,” he says with pure sincerity. “You’re perfect.”
She rolls her eyes. “Far from it.”
“False,” he beams, sneaking another kiss. Clementine’s heart feels the lightest it’s felt in weeks. “I can’t believe Jack was right.”
She snorts. “About? Jack’s never right.”
“I know,” he rolls his eyes, before looking at her in a way that makes butterflies flutter in her stomach. “But he was right this time.”
Oh. They’re not talking about the fight anymore.
…..
(Clementine finally tells Nico everything that day about the overthinking — the tendencies and the topics she was overthinking about this time. He’s rubbing her knee as she talks about how she feels like she has to be setting an example or something because she’s dating him. She knows he wants to interrupt and assure her. She appreciates that he waits until she finishes.
He reassures her, which is nice, but he realizes that that’s not necessarily what she needs. Clementine just needs someone to listen. And Nico thinks everything she says is always worth listening to.
But Clementine also likes to be proactive and have tangible next steps, something she and him have in common. So they both come up with the first step: Clementine sends a text to Kristen Haula, who has a lot of experience of just … being the significant other to a professional athlete. Kristen responds quickly and kindly, asking when Clementine has a day off from work where she can come over and they can chat.
It’s always a breath of relief knowing people want to help with problems that she thinks are stupid. Because they’re usually not stupid. Nico’s there to assure her of that.
She goes to sleep that night with a smile.)
…..
That conversation is just the start. Because you can say all you want in a relationship, say you need to improve things, but until things are actually done, it doesn’t mean squat.
She can tell there’s something on Nico’s mind, even in the short phone call as he’s heading to the rink before a game and she’s heading home from the hospital. Clementine asks multiple times if he’s sure he’s okay and he tells her he’s fine, so she lets it go, wishing him good luck and assuring him she’ll be watching.
The Devils lose 5-1 to Vegas, and it’s so tough to watch that she almost wants to turn it off before it ends, especially after the camera pans to Nico’s face and Jack breaking his stick on the boards in frustration after the final buzzer sounds. A four game losing streak.
After giving Jack and Luke extra long hugs, Luke burying his face into her shoulder and Jack clutching her t-shirt, she calls Nico as she’s climbing into bed.
“Hey baby.”
“Hi.”
“Don’t beat yourself up too much, okay? Are you back at your place?”
“Yeah. What are you doing awake?”
She swallows at his blunt tone. “I wanted to catch you afterwards.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. Get some sleep.”
“Oh. Okay. Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?”
A rustle on his end. “I’m sure.”
“Want me to come by tomorrow morning? I don’t have to head in until the afternoon.”
Silence. “Yeah?” The raspy voice he’s gotten from yelling during the game momentarily makes her smile because she’s always found it so attractive. “Are you sure?”
“Of course.”
“Okay,” she thinks his voice softens. “Yeah. I’d love that.”
“Great. Goodnight, then. I’ll see you in the morning. Sweet dreams. I love you.”
“Goodnight, Schätzli. I love you.”
The next morning, she punches in Nico’s code and walks in to him pouring out a cup of coffee for her. He’s dressed in his typical day off attire: a random t-shirt that she thinks looks unfairly good on him, gray sweatpants and his hair is all messed up. She paddles over to the kitchen.
From behind, she wraps her arms around his waist. “Hi baby.”
“Hey,” he turns in her arms to peck her lips. “You eat yet?” He asks.
“Mmhmm.”
He hums, following her to the couch and sinking down right next to her. He tucks himself into the blanket with an involuntary hum, burying himself into the pillow, dragging her down so that she’s laying on his chest. She breathes in his scent and automatically smiles. She feels him physically relax.
“How’s the hospital been?”
Clementine shrugs. “The usual.”
“Tell me more.”
She blinks. Oh, she realizes. And she then talks about random details of her week that don’t actually matter but she’s figured out that sometimes he just likes to listen to her voice. Whether to ground himself, get himself out of his own head or both. He hums in all the right places to show he’s listening, but she also doesn’t really need him to listen about the workplace drama of people having a theory that two of her coworkers are hooking up.
There’s a lull in the conversation as she listens to his heartbeat. She thinks he might have fallen asleep. She doesn’t dare move to check.
“Eight.”
So he’s not asleep. She taps her fingers on his chest. “Hm?”r
“This is my eighth season in the league. Eighth in Jersey. And I have nothing to show for it.” She swallows. She debates sitting up so she can see him, but she stays still. He sighs. “I feel like we’re just never going to have a good start to the season, and it’s just like this every year and I’m not doing anything right. I can’t shoot. I can’t score. I can’t lead this team.”
“Nico-“
“At this point, if we’re not the team that’s gonna get Jersey to the cup, then who is? It’s always been about potential and things falling into place and sometimes I feel like all of it has and then we end up falling short anyways.” He starts breathing faster and Clementine sits up, holding his hands. She can see the storm in his eyes. “Fuck, I’m the captain. Part of my job is to make sure this doesn’t happen and that when we gain momentum, that we don’t lose it. But it feels like we can’t even gain that momentum so we’re stuck in whatever the hell we’re stuck in. It’s starting to remind me of my first few seasons here, which really fucking sucks and just shouldn’t be where we’re at. Are the pieces ever going to come together like everyone has been saying it will?”
(In the back of her mind, Clementine’s stomach drops because Nico rarely swears, and he just dropped two f bombs in the last 15 seconds)
She squeezes his hands. “Nico. Please listen to me when I say this. It is not all on you. Captain or not, no one is expecting you to carry all of that on your shoulders.” He opens his mouth to counter but she’s quicker. “Nope. I don’t want to hear it. If I’ve learned anything from growing up with three hockey-playing brothers, is that hockey is a team sport. You win together. You lose together. Everything you go through? You go through together.”
“But I feel like I’m not doing anything right.”
“If any single one of your teammates heard you right now, I know they’d smack you in the face.” Clementine says bluntly. “Even before we were dating, from day one of training camp in Jack’s rookie year, when you didn’t even have the C yet, he was already raving to me about how good of a role model you were. You didn’t just get that C just because, Nico. You were and are the best option. I fully believe it. Your teammates respect you so much, baby. I see it with my own eyes every game. And they love and respect you enough to know that this is not all on you. You lead your team so beautifully. It is your team. And fuck the media and what they’re saying. Half of them can’t even hold a stick in their hand or skate. Literally who cares what they think? The outside noise is all bullshit anyways.” She rubs his cheekbones with her thumbs. “I know my words can’t fix the slump you guys are in. But I refuse to let you believe that any of this is entirely your fault. It is anything but. I refuse you to let you believe you’re anything but a good leader. You are the best leader. But you need to put less pressure on yourself over things that are out of your control.”
She lets her words wash over him, as he nods. One of her favorite things about him is that he’s always so expressive, especially in the domestic environment of his apartment under the maroon blanket she knitted him for Christmas. Here he is, not under any arena lights, just in his home away from home, trying to find some grounding. She places a kiss on his forehead and he practically falls into her touch.
“Everything about you always helps,” Nico whispers. “Thank you.”
“No need,” she smiles as his cheek rests on her stomach, arms wrapped around her waist in a tight embrace. “It’s okay to be frustrated and upset, honey. I get it. But you’re gonna drive yourself insane if you keep holding all this weight on your shoulders. Share it with others. Share it with your teammates. Share it with me. It’s what we’re here for.” Nico mutters something in German and she snorts. “English, please.”
“I don’t want to share it with you if it means I’m gonna explode and scare you. That’s the last thing I want to do.”
Clementine blinks, digesting that statement. She picks her words carefully. “It’s more than okay to show emotions. Any psychologist would tell you it’s healthy to do so. The fact that you’re afraid at the idea of scaring me is probably a good indicator that you won’t. And please. Give me some credit. I don’t get scared easily.” She leans down to press a kiss in his hair. “I mean it. Share the burdens, baby. We all want to help.”
He hums and she lets him play with her fingers before she has to go to work.
…..
There were cons to not living near the boys for eight years — missing big moments and not having their presence around all the time being the two biggest ones.
But there were pros too. Such as, not being a part of moments that she would rather be anywhere else for. She doesn’t know who gave the three boys the sex talk (it probably was Quinn, but who gave it to him?) and she knows that if she had been in Toronto or Michigan during that time, she would’ve begrudgingly done it and hated every second.
If she thinks about it too much, it’s kinda incredible how she hasn’t encountered this particular situation yet.
This particular situation being this: Clementine’s just come back from an overnight shift she got let off early from, exhausted to her bones but not exhausted enough to be immobile. On the drive back from the station, she was debating whether to stop by her favorite deli or make her own brunch. She ultimately decided that there are too many things in the fridge to justify her going to the deli. Maybe next week.
So now here she is, preparing her feta egg bake thing that she saw on TikTok, a mix of vegetables drizzled in olive oil and various herbs sitting on the counter on another tray, ready to go into the oven. She hears the front door open and glaces at the clock on the microwave. Morning skate must’ve been earlier than normal today.
“Hello?” Luke’s voice calls out.
“In the kitchen!”
She hears two pairs of footsteps come closer, assuming that Jack is with him. Though if she had stopped to think about it, she would’ve automatically thought it was weird that he didn’t call out a greeting either. She turns around, half smile planted on her face. The half smile doesn’t exactly drop at the sight of the unknown blonde girl next to him. Just turns more confused. Before Clementine can say anything, Luke speaks up.
“Hey. I didn’t think you’d be home until later.”
“They let me out early,” she searches her mind quickly, trying to see how to ask who the fuck is in their kitchen without sounding like a bitch.
Luckily, Luke does it for her. He clears his throat. “Uh, Clemmy, this is Ava. Ava, Clemmy. Or, Clementine, I guess.”
Clementine decides to put him out of his misery a bit. She hopes her smile is friendly enough. “Nice to meet you, Ava.”
“Same here. Are you Jack’s girlfriend?”
Before she can stop herself, she snickers. “He fucking wishes.”
“That’s Amelie,” Luke corrects. “Clemmy’s dating Nico, my captain.”
Ava’s eyes widen. “Oh. I’m so sorry!”
“It’s okay,” Clementine waves away her apology easily. “A lot of names. A lot of characters. Speaking of, where is Jack?”
“Dropped him off at Amelie’s after practice, actually. She’s totally gonna kill me though. I think she has to head to Philly later.”
“She’s definitely gonna kill you. Have you two eaten yet?” She asks politely.
Ava nods. “We did. Thank you so much though.”
“Anytime.” Luke makes a move to lead Ava to his room and Clementine immediately gets the hint. “If you change your mind, our fridge is open to all. I live here, which means there should be something edible.”
“Hey!” Luke protests. The two girls laugh. “Thanks though. Are you heading to Cap’s?”
Clementine shrugs. “I was going to eat, nap and maybe head over later, but I also didn’t know your morning skate was earlier than normal. Maybe I’ll go over to his and use him as my pillow.”
“Don’t drive if you’re too tired,” Luke warns, sounding entirely too much like Jack. “Hisch can wait if needed.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waves her spatula at them. “Alright. I’m off an overnight shift, so you know what that means.”
Luke rolls his eyes as Ava looks between them curiously. “Your social battery is at its lowest and you’ll start snapping soon.” Ava looks amused and Clementine grins. “C’mon, Ava. Let’s go to my room.”
“It was nice to meet you,” Ava says.
“Likewise,” Clementine responds. The second Luke’s door shuts, she puts the feta egg bake and the vegetables in the oven and immediately grabs her phone, thumbing over to her text chain with Nico.
Clementine Sandoval
lol just had a major big sister moment
She gets a reply in seconds.
Nico Hischier
???
A moment you haven’t already experienced?
Clementine Sandoval
luke just came home with a girl I’ve never met before
Nico Hischier
In the day time? Lol
Does Jack know about this?
Clementine Sandoval
lol i’m assuming not
i def would’ve heard about it by now
luke’s not that stupid if he wanted to keep it quiet (which it seems like he does) jack would be the last person he’d tell
Nico Hischier
You do realize I’m their captain, right?
I could very well be with Jack right now. He could be looking over my shoulder
Clementine Sandoval
please i’m not an amateur
luke already told me he dumped jack at amelie’s
what are you doing the rest of the day?
Nico Hischier
Sitting on my coach and staring at the wall waiting for my beautiful girlfriend to come by after she takes her nap
Clementine Sandoval
whipped
any chance i can come by earlier and nap at yours? didn’t know you guys had an earlier skate
Nico Hischier
Door will be unlocked ❤️
Clementine Sandoval
???? your door has a code
but thanks 🩵🩵 i’ll come by after i eat
After her food is cooked thoroughly, she eats quickly, flicking through emails on her laptop. She can hear a movie playing through Luke’s laptop in his room and murmured voices through the door. As she’s cleaning up and getting ready to head out, she debates on whether she should tell Luke or not. She probably should, because then he’ll start worrying, which is something that she’s noticed all the brothers have done more as they’ve gotten older.
“Luke!” She calls, “I’m heading out.”
“Okay,” she hears his voice through his door. “Are you coming back for dinner?”
“Not sure yet. I’ll text you.”
“Okay!”
Clementine chuckles before grabbing her stuff and closing the front door behind herself.
Nico snorts as she’s retelling what happened, sipping on a cup of coffee. Clementine’s rambling to the max, sitting up on his kitchen counter and swinging her legs, not stopping even as Nico slips himself inbetween them and plants his hands on her thighs.
Suddenly, she trails off with a yawn. He chuckles softly before engulfing her in a hug, kissing her neck softly. “Couch or bed?”
“You don’t like just lounging on your bed.”
“But it’s your nap time and you like my bed.”
She plays with his hair, placing her cup of coffee down carefully. “Couch.”
“Okay,” he hums, helping her off the counter. “Is there anything I need to wake you up for later?”
“I made some sort of promise a few days ago that I’d cook Jack and Luke dinner, and I feel bad that I haven’t done it yet.”
“They can come over here and we can both cook them something.”
“You have groceries in your fridge?”
He gives her a look as she giggles. He tosses a blanket over her. “Sleep before you start getting sassier on me.”
Clementine hums, eyes already drooping. She tugs at his shirt as he’s about to leave. “Stay.”
“Baby-”
“Just until I fall asleep,” she grins as he climbs in, immediately burying her head into his chest as his arm wraps around her. She hums, eyes already shut. “I love you,” she murmurs against the cotton of his shirt.
She feels the gentlest kiss on her forehead before drifting off to sleep.
…..
Clementine loves being able to switch her brain during a live hockey game. Unless she gets a call from anyone at the hospital — which hasn’t happened yet — any good hockey game can turn her often overtired and overstimulated brain off.
So when Sarah, one of the staffers she frequently runs into at Devils games, comes up to her row, Clementine’s immediately standing up. “Sarah? What are you doing up here?”
“Can you come with me for a second?” At Clementine’s concerned stare, Sarah continues quickly. “Nothing bad! Just want your help on something medical related.”
“Medical related?” Clementine stands up and starts following Sarah.
“One of the kids in the Islanders box hurt herself and I’m pretty sure it’s just a sprained ankle, but you work with kids so I figured you could give another opinion and calm her down, maybe? If you don’t mind, of course.”
Clementine breathes out a sigh of relief. This she can handle. “I don’t mind at all. Jesus, Sarah. I thought it was something more serious.”
Sarah grimaces. “Sorry. Again, I just want a second opinion. I’m sorry to interrupt you watching the-”
“I get it. And hey, I’ve watched dozens of games by now.” They arrive at the visitor’s suite and somehow, Clementine feels immediately at home even though there’s an adorable blonde girl crying on the floor with her mother kneeling down next to her.
Clementine bends down and sits on the back of her heels. “Hi cutie. My name is Clementine. I’m here to help you, okay?” The mom, who is drop dead gorgeous, mutters some encouraging words to her daughter. “Can you tell me what happened, sweetie?”
Inbetween hiccups, the young girl explains that she was running around because her dad had just scored a goal but had run into a chair and had fallen backwards and now her ankle really hurts and if it’s broken she won’t get to play with her friends at recess. Clementine softly shushes her and calms her down before asking if she can take a look. The young girl nods and Clementine gingerly takes her ankle, rolling up her jeans. She speaks to the girl softly (who Clementine learns is named Winnie), asking about who she’s here to see and the game and anything else to keep her distracted while she does her routine checks.
Clementine taps her ankle. “Well, good news, Winnie. It’s only swollen, which won’t require going to the hospital. I’m just gonna wrap it up for you and get you some ice to keep on it, okay? And lots of rest, which means no running around for a bit.” She nods thankfully at Sarah, who runs to grab some bandages and an ice pack.
“Does that mean I get to watch Disney all day tomorrow?” Winnie asks.
Clementine laughs. “That’s gonna be a decision your mama has to make.” She turns to the gorgeous blonde again with a smile. “Everything’s all fine. Just lots of rest and ice and she’ll be good in no time. You can give her children’s motrin if she complains that it hurts too much, but it shouldn’t if she isn’t moving it around.”
“Thank you so much,” she says gratefully, putting her hand out. “I’m Sydney. It’s nice to meet you. I’m really sorry for interrupting your game.”
Clementine waves her away. “It’s no problem at all. I’ve seen a bunch of these, so I’m not too pressed.”
“Are you a doctor?”
“Not yet technically. I’m in my second year of residency with pediatrics and ER. But I promise I know what I’m doing.”
“Oh, no! I trust you, don’t worry. You have a very calming presence.”
“Well, your daughter is super sweet. So I’m sure you have a lot to do with that.”
Sydney beams. “You’re so sweet! Thank you.”
“Who are you here for?”
“Number 17. Matt Martin. He’s my husband. How about you?”
Clementine chuckles, as Sarah comes back with the supplies and Clementine wraps the bandage around Winnie’s ankle. “Depends who you ask.”
“Oh?”
“Well, I grew up with Luke and Jack. 43 and 86. But I’m dating Nico. Number 13.”
“That’s the captain, right?”
“It is.”
Clementine’s surprise must show through her voice because Sydney laughs. “Honestly, I don’t know why I know that. I blame my past journalist self who picks up on details quickly. Or the Devils and Islanders being in the same division.”
“That’s completely fair. I feel like I know too much about hockey for someone who never played.”
“It’s an added layer when we choose who we surround ourselves with, right?” Sydney says and Clementine nods with a smile. “Where are you doing your residency?”
“I’m mainly at NYC Health and Hospitals / Bellevue. First and 28th.”
“Do you live in the city?”
“Oh, no. Though that’s probably smarter, right?” They both laugh. “No, I live with Jack and Luke in Hoboken. They kinda begged, and it saves me money, and I don’t mind the commute.”
Sydney looks around for Winnie, who’s hanging out with one of the other Isles wives and is occupied. “Am I keeping you from someone? Thank you again for all your help.”
“No, not at all! Decided to come out solo tonight.”
Sydney then nods to two empty seats against the glass. “Come sit with me?”
Clementine just smiles and follows her to the seat as Winnie runs at her legs. The two women laugh as Clementine picks her up and sits her on her hip.
She leaves that night with a new number in her phone. Jack whines about her “befriending the enemy” as Luke cackles. Nico just grins, because he knows what it’s like to be captivated by her energy instantly.
*****
Clementine’s reading on Nico’s couch when she hears him groan loudly from the kitchen. When she doesn’t hear an explanation, she finishes the sentence and looks up.
“Everything okay?”
“No,” he grumbles, walking back in and typing something rapidly on his phone. “The rookies and the young guys went out and got way too drunk and called me by accident. I literally couldn’t understand more than two words of what Shea was saying.”
“How are they getting home?”
Nico sighs and picks up his keys. “I’m getting them. I don’t trust them to not puke all over an Uber right now.”
“But you trust them to not puke in your car?”
“I’ll tell them to aim out the window.”
Clementine snorts, standing up. “You drank earlier. I’ll drive.”
Nico blinks. “I didn’t drink that much.”
“Don’t care. I’m driving. How many of them are there?”
Nico looks at his phone, presumably his texts, to confirm. “Five. But apparently Luke called Jack so he’s coming too.” Nico laughs, reading another text. “And Amelie. Must be a similar vibe at the Hughes apartment tonight.”
“It was. Amelie told me they were having a chill date night too.” She quickly goes to Nico’s room to toss on one of his Devils sweatshirts. She comes back out and sticks her hand out as Nico slips on his shoes. “Keys. And grab a few trash bags, please.”
Nico obeys before they’re both out the door, his hand naturally brushing against her back as they wait for the elevator. “I’m sorry.”
“For?”
“All of this.”
She snorts as the elevators doors shut. “Don’t need to apologize for your teammates acting their age.”
“Yeah, but it’s not your responsibility to deal with that.”
“It’s yours though.”
He furrows his eyebrows. “I’m not following.”
She rises on her tiptoes to kiss him, to which he responds with enthusiasm despite his confusion. “Your boys, my boys, no?” She murmurs against his lips, letting him steal two more kisses. “I’m dating you. You’re the captain of an NHL team. You look out for the guys. Therefore, so do I.”
Nico shakes his head with a fond smile as the elevator doors open and he shuffles them both to the garage, his hands steadily on her hips. “You’re the best, you know that?”
“Been told that once or twice in my life,” she dodges his pokes as they walk to the car.
It only takes them 15 minutes before they’re in front of a bar. Nico pulls in right next to Jack’s car and Clementine laughs as all four of them get out of their cars at the same time. One look at Amelie tells her that she probably was dragged out of bed to come here.
She nods at the younger girl as they trail behind their boyfriends walking into the bar. “Chauffeur?”
Amelie smiles wryly, handing her a few bottles of water for whoever is coming in Nico’s car. “No. I’m the one who actually opened the wine tonight. But I don’t trust Jack to wrangle these guys by himself. Also, he promised he’d get me lunch from my favorite place tomorrow before I have to drive to Long Island.”
Clementine whistles. “Good girlfriend you are.”
Amelie tosses an arm around Clementine’s shoulders, which makes the latter grin. Amelie had been a bit shyer when they met at the start of the season, but she likes to think she’s cracked the photographer’s exterior a bit. They walk into the bar and just follow the guys, who quickly find their teammates. Clementine only raises an eyebrow as Seamus stumbles to give Nico a hug, almost taking out Simon in the process, who looks like he’s about to either fall asleep or throw up any minute. Jack is subtly steering glasses of alcohol away from Alex as he’s chatting away to Luke. Clementine’s half convinced he’s speaking Swedish and Luke’s too drunk to realize. She scans the bar to find the last straggler and chuckles when she sees Nico (little Nico, she affectionately calls him) come out of the bathroom. He brightens up when he sees the older girl and Clementine laughs loudly as he almost falls into her arms.
She, Nico, Jack and Amelie corral everyone into the two cars — Luke, Alex and Nico riding with Jack and Amelie and Seamus and Simon with Clementine and Nico, all purely based on proximity. Clementine gives both Amelie and Jack hugs before climbing into the drivers seat. She gives Seamus and Simon each bottles of water as she starts the engine.
“Drink. The whole thing. Both of you.” She commands. She peeks through the rearview mirror to make sure they do.
“I’m waiting for the lecture, Mrs. Cap.” Seamus groans out.
Clementine snorts. “No lecture from me. But you guys do remember that you have a team meeting tomorrow, do you?”
“How do you know that?”
Nico snorts as an answer as Clementine rolls her eyes. “How much did you guys have?”
“I stopped counting after the third round of shots,” Seamus says. Simon might have fallen asleep for all she knows.
“And who bought that round?” Nico asks.
“Luke,” Seamus and Clementine say simultaneously. She hears Simon groan, so he’s not asleep. Nico just chuckles.
It only takes 30 minutes to get them both safely home and to get back to Nico’s apartment. It’s almost 2 a.m. by the time they get back. Clementine gets comfortable fast, with Nico’s body pressed up against hers. The last conscious thought she has before drifting off to sleep is that she wants to do this with him for the rest of her life.
The first thing she hears when she wakes up is a bunch of male voices. She squints at her phone. 10:27 a.m. Team meeting started at 10. She yawns and rolls out of bed, washing her face and brushing her teeth before deciding to go fix up a quick breakfast for herself before locking herself in Nico’s room so the team can do whatever they do during team meetings.
The voices all halt as she nears the living room. Any other situation she would be a bit embarrassed perhaps, but frankly, they all know and should’ve expected this. And they’re in her apartment. Or Nico’s. But it also might as well be ours.
She offers a lazy salute. “Morning boys.” A chorus of greetings echoes and Clementine chuckles. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be out of your hair in a second.”
“You can stay,” Nico says softly with a smile from where he’s standing behind the couch. She just waves him off, pours out a cup of coffee, quickly fixes herself some hummus toast with feta on top and slips back into his room.
She sets her food down carefully on the bedside table and eats while scrolling through her email and social media. She even puts her headphones in so she’s not tempted to listen to the guys through the wall.
It’s about a half an hour later when she hears a faint knock on the door. She calls out a “come in” and takes out her Airpods with a smile when Nico peeks his head in.
“Hi Schatz.”
“Hey. What’s up?”
“The boys wanna say hi,” she opens her mouth to protest but he beats to her to it. “We’re pretty much done. Pizza’s coming any minute so we’re just chilling out now.”
Clementine grabs her empty plate and mug, rising up to her toes to press a kiss on his cheek. “Breaking the diet?”
“We just won a tough back to back. We deserve it.”
“Sure you do,” she chuckles as he playfully swats her butt. They walk back out into the living room together and she rolls her eyes as everyone cheers. Nico heads back to the living room as she heads into the kitchen to start another pot of coffee, politely nudging Dawson and Dougie out of her way.
Nico’s apartment is spacious, but twenty plus hockey players all crowding around make it feel much smaller than normal. Clementine decides to swing herself on top of the counter to chat with Luke and John, mostly content with listening to them talk.
When she hears a chorus of laughter, she turns to the living room to see what’s going on to already see quite a few of the guys looking at her. She raises an eyebrow at Nico, who she swears has a slight blush painting his cheeks. But he doesn’t shy away and beams at her instead. With some boldness, she bounces over to him, squeezing in beside him on the couch. He leans into her touch automatically. She wonders if this is a side of their captain his team hasn’t seen much before.
That last thought has her hesitant for a second, but as if Nico can sense it, he takes her hand off his shoulder and kisses the back of it before going back to a previous conversation with Jesper. Her hand remains in his. She catches Timo’s close-lipped smile and Nate’s visible delight. Clementine just sends them a wink before leaning into Nico’s side.
Without missing a beat in laughing at something Jesper says, Nico places a kiss in her hair.
(Later, as the team is starting to filter out of Nico’s apartment, Jonas pulls him aside. Nico is immediately on high alert when Jonas decidedly switches to their native language. They don’t do that often during the season.
“She’s great. Clementine,” Jonas starts.
Nico’s eyebrows shoot up his forehead. “Yeah? You think so?”
“Yeah,” they both look over to the other side of the living room, where she’s in the midst of a playful debate about something with Jack and Jesper. Though from the way she punches Jack in the arm, maybe it’s not so playful. “I know we met at the end of last season, but I wanted to give it some time. She’s weirdly perfect for you.”
“Spit it out, Jonas,” Nico stares at him.
Jonas just stares back for a bit before letting out a small chuckle. “I’m really happy for you, truly. You deserve someone like her.”
“Like her?”
“Yeah. Someone smart, beautiful and who will be just as all in as you are.”
Nico looks down at his feet, heat rising up his neck all of a sudden. “She’s the best, really. Kinda keeps me sane without even trying.”
“That’s all you can ask for from a partner,” Jonas pats his shoulder once before calling out a goodbye to everyone.
Clementine rushes over to give Jonas a quick goodbye hug. Nico feels himself falling and not wanting anyone to catch him.)
…..
The universe is on their side for the 10 year anniversary of Miguel’s death, with the Canucks scheduled to play in town the day after. Ellen, Jim, Quinn, Jack, Amelie, Luke, Maeve, Clementine and Nico all go out to brunch on New Year’s Day, before heading to the cemetery.
They’re all bundled up as they lay out a few blankets, lay down their flowers and some of Miguel’s favorite food and snacks. The cemetery is quiet, but it’s quickly filled with everyone’s laughter as they share their favorite memories and reminisce. Quite a few tears are shed and the tissue box is passed around often.
When they’re about to leave, everyone gets their individual moments by his tombstone to pay their last respects. Clementine and Maeve let the Hughes’s go first, hands intertwined with each other. Then, Clementine and Maeve step up and the young woman swallows, her mom’s head falling on her shoulder. With one last squeeze, Maeve steps back and gently ushers Nico to stand next to his girlfriend despite his gentle protests.
The second she feels Nico’s arm draping across her back, Clementine lets out a sob as she buries part of her face into his jacket. It’s not a sad sob, but it’s not a happy one. She’s happy he’s here with her. She wishes her dad could meet him and love him as much as she knows he would.
Once they reach the bottom of the hill, Quinn reaches out to squeeze her hand. She keeps her right hand in his as Nico’s pressed against her left side. She stares ahead at her mother pressed between Ellen and Jim with Jack, Amelie and Luke right behind them in a similar embrace.
The birds are chirping. The sound of the wind is made even more noticeable as it whistles through the leaves. The sun is shining, not a single cloud in the sky.
Clementine feels peace settle into her heart.
#fucking finally lol everyone cheered#k writes#hockey fanfiction#nhl#nhl fic#hockey fic#new jersey devils#devils#nico hischier#nico hischier fic#nico hischier x oc#quinn hughes#jack hughes#luke hughes#nico hischier blurb#nico hischier writing#hockey writing#nhl writing#nhl blurb#hockey blurb#the blue au
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Ah wow it’s almost 2025, which means it’s time for the yearly art recap. Time flies when you’re struggling through your thesis, but I’m very pleased to scrounge up at least one Tech drawing per month. I’ll do a (not so) short reflection about my 2024 art under the cut if you’re interested, but for now, I’d like to express my greatest gratitude for everybody who has stuck around and shared my art. Hoping that 2025 will be a more productive art year. Byeee 🧡
Tl;dr under the cut: ramblings about my struggle in school, 2024 highlights, hopes and dreams next year
—
Let’s look back at last year’s summary:
What's next in 2024?
More Tech. Some things I'd like to explore in 2024 is character drawings beyond portraits, anatomy, simple backgrounds, OCs, storytelling through short comics, TBB band au, and maybe some commission work
Well, safe to say I didn’t get too much of that done haha. The reason for that is I’ve been really struggling with my undergraduate thesis work in chemistry. I don’t really know the root cause of it, but I just can’t bring myself to finish it and I’ve been procrastinating badly, so much that I’ve missed two presentation opportunities. The third opportunity is within 2 weeks and I’m nowhere finished or ready. It has been a constant source of stress and anxiety throughout 2024. I got burned out by the end of May and went to the school counsel to hand in my resignation notice, but got convinced to stick around but to finish it at a later date, because this is literally the last thing to do before I get my degree. Then afterwards I decided to go back to my old job full time, which has been very tiring and took a long time to adjust to. This is very obviously reflected in the amount of full illustration produced during July to October, especially September when I couldn’t bring myself to draw anything beyond Tech’s hand lol.
If I don’t finish my thesis in time for this round, I think I’ll finally throw in the towel for real. Maybe I’ve doomed my future or something but…this experience has made me feel incredibly (and constantly) bad for a whole year, and it has affected every aspect of my life. I’m very tired of it. And although my current job is very tiresome and probably detrimental to my health, it pays well and the colleagues are wonderful. Additionally, it is a niche job that I have years of experience in, with good connections, so I’m not currently worrying about my future job at all. And it’s still within the chemistry industry, so all the time I spent in school isn’t going to waste. In regard to my future, I’m more worried about wasting all of it on a conventional 7-16 job, of which I don’t think a degree in analytical chemistry would help me avoid anyways.
Okay, I’ve rambled enough. If you’re still here, thank you. Now, let’s look back to some positive highlights in my art year of 2024:
I think I’ve finally reached the point where I’m content with how I draw Tech. As evident by the picture above, it’s sort of consistent too, which is a bonus.
I joined my first zine!! It’s the Pabu Days zine and I can’t wait for everyone to get their copy of it. Everybody’s pieces are amazing. I wish I did better/more, but the creation period was during the worst time of my year, mental health-wise, and I have to accept that it was the best I could do at the time.
As for the “masterpiece” of 2024, my most proudest work is the CX-Tech piece I did during the height of TBB season 3. I’m incredibly happy with how the rim lights turned out and the overall mood of it. Also the texture on the armour turned out sooo good, I can’t believe I was the one who painted it lol. I wish I could personally show the picture from my monitor, because all the details seem to disappear when viewed on tumblr. Below is the illustration I’m talking about, along with a side by side comparison to the picture I referenced the lighting from + some closeups. Looking back at it now, I wish I added a stronger frontal light source, so that the picture isn’t so dark.
Also, extra shout out to the back study series. I am traditionally not a painter (just grew up as an anime weeb) so making these this was an incredible accomplishment.
With that, I’m wrapping this very long post (sorry) with some 2025 hopes and dreams. Basically it’s the same things I wanted to do in 2024: improve anatomy, more background, work on OC, work on AUs. I want to try very hard to make commissions happen next year, if people are still interested. Something else I want to do that isn’t strictly art related is to connect more with people, especially with those who are still hyperfixated on TBB as I am. I find it hard to socialise on tumblr, but I try to be more social on bluesky. Idk, I think it would be fun to find a small active community that is maybe more focused on clones and oc stuff.
Okay, that’s all! If you’ve made it this far, thank you thank you thank you. Have a happy holiday and may your 2025 be a wonderful, wonderful year.
🧡 vimse
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Hi! Happy 2025 :D
You've done an amazing job this past year, Iridis! AphidClan is one of the only clangens I can follow without getting lost or bored within a few updates (including one of my own I tried to start lol); your designs are instantly recognizable and eye-catching, the darker lore is balanced out with enough cute, light moments that it never feels overwhelming or overcomplicated, you express such a wide range of emotions and dynamics so well! Plus the diversity in your character base and your care towards representing a variety of identities, just makes me so happy to see. Everything about this comic is so uniquely creative, it's honestly incredibly impressive.
Obviously nothing against other clangens– just that yours has something special I've been unable to find elsewhere :]
Thank you for everything you've done this year, and I hope the next goes well for you 💞
AWWWW man thank you so much <33 This is so sweet and honestly relieving to hear lol, I often feel like I don’t really know what I’m doing with Aphidclan. Like it’s a constant hazy state of cluelessness that I’ve just grown used to. Im not very aware of like… what my work reads as to others? Man I dunno if you guys even know what’s going on lmao. So it’s really nice to hear an outside perspective and realize that’s probably just a me thing. And that it’s impressive??? Damn, man, thank you lol
I’ve never quite done anything like Aphidclan before. It started at a time in my life when I was…technically my gender exploration journey started months earlier than this, but it was kinda started at the cusp of my own gender identity exploration,,explosion. The first thing I wanted to explore was being xenogender (other folk go from “cisgender —> maybe I’m non-binary or trans…” in their journey like normal people but nah man. before anything else occurred to me I went from “im cisgender” to “maybe I’m a neon rainbow insect with neopronouns actually :)” lmao) and that coincided really well with the rise of the clangen trend, so I figured I’d use some brand new OCs to explore gender identity in a…safe way? In a safe little pocket where it was all,,,nonconsequential and only tangential to my own identity. And I ended up exploring transgender and non-binary identities as well very frequently, which was mostly helped by the game giving me cats with assigned genders/sexes and me squinting at them and going “…nah. that’s a unicorncore trans man if I ever seen one” and reversing it, and then transing half the cast lmao.
I was not transgender going into this comic. I am now coming out of our first year with Aphidclan as a transmasc nonbinary man <3
I never intended it to be a thing for representation points exactly? I was certainly surprised by the lack of xenogender and more complicated/unusual LGBTQ gender identities depicted in all media ever! I still don’t really understand why something like neopronouns aren’t more present? They’re the coolest shit ever. Like- we’ve broken down gender norms and gender roles so much that now gender is not just “feminine” and “masculine,” it’s anything and everything you could ever want it to be. It’s ultimate freedom. It’s not just what it means to be “man” or “woman,” it’s “but what if I was more than that? What if I felt like a bug? Or a rainbow? Or a cloud? Or a connection to nature and the ocean and the stars? What if I felt like I was part of the universe? Or a music genre, or a concept, or a candy bar, an animal, a fairy, a slice of fruit!” You could be anything you’ve ever dreamed of being and more.
And once you get used to the funky grammar of neopronouns, it’s not that polarizingly different from other identities at all, honestly. And plus, it’s really fkin fun lol.
Aphidclan’s helped me explore a lot throughout this year. There were often times where I was struggling with my own femininity as a trans man and I remembered Firebeetle and the support I’ve received for his character, and using “well, if it’s okay for firebeetle to wear dresses and flowers and feminine things, then it’s okay for me to do that too, and it doesn’t invalidate my identity at all” and it really helped. 2024 was a great year for me creatively and exploration-wise, and I’ll certainly never be the same. Thank you guys for all your support, it means a lot <3
#and this came as a surprise to me but I’ve received like 10x more support for the xenogenders than hate comments#I’ve received ONE singular negative comment about the neopronouns. in a whole year of doing this regularly#i deleted it immediately without responding and blocked the guy so you won’t find it anywhere#but that just is wonderful to me the sheer amount of support and kinship other people have expressed#there’s a whole community for this stuff anywhere you look and I’ve carved my own little pocket for it and that’s really sweet#anyway#I’m happy with 2024s Aphidclan year#and excited for more Aphidclan in 2025! happy new year!!#aphidasks#clangen#wc clangen#warriors#xenogender
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2024 Year in Review: Writing Round-Up
I was shocked to see that I wrote TEN fics this year, all for RWRB. And that the first one was in April! It was definitely a busy year.
❤️🤍💙.
too sweet (Rated M | 2,237 words)
A little co-worker enemies-to-lovers. Based on the Hozier song of course!
❤️🤍💙.
2. good neighbours (Rated M | 10,283 words)
My fic for @aroyallybigbangrwrb which is a neighbours AU meet-cute situation where Alex really likes to fix stuff for Henry, who really likes to break stuff for Alex to fix. I'm normally a one-shot kinda gal, but writing a chaptered longer fic was a fun challenge!
❤️🤍💙.
3. stop pretending (Rated T | 3,159 words)
My fic for @thebrownstone Summer Switcheroo exchange. Childhood friends-to-lovers based on a little video I saw on twitter with a meddling sister and of course I added in some more meddling friends just for fun (because Nora and Pez need to get in there too!)
❤️🤍💙.
4. yours, forever (Rated T | 2.019 words)
Suuuuper fluffy proposal and wedding fic! The wedding bit is somewhat based on my own true story.
❤️🤍💙.
5. the cadence of your heart (Rated E | 5,585 words)
Oh boy. It took me about 4 or so months of working on this and building up the courage to post my first true E-rated fic in this fandom. This is basically shower sex PWP but also ended up with A LOT of feelings.
❤️🤍💙.
6. lost and found (love) (Rated T | 2.304 words)
A little meet-cute where Alex has lost his dog and Henry runs the local lost dog Facebook group. Part epistolary with FB messages throughout! Written for the red umbrella flufftober collection.
❤️🤍💙.
7. London? (Rated T | 1,432 words)
Somehow my second flufftober piece also ended up revolving around dogs, but this time an established relationship piece with some fun miscommunication about forever (but in a good way). Written for the red umbrella flufftober collection.
❤️🤍💙.
8. takes one to know one (Rated M | 3,608 words)
I had tons of fun writing this particular one about rival professors (with a little twist 🤫) for @anywhere-with-you-event.
❤️🤍💙.
9. According to Plan? (Rated T | 3,822 words)
A few people had asked for a proposal sequel to London? and it seemed to fit well with my first prompt for the frosted pages & snowbound stories collection which was Frozen Lake. My first 5+1 ever! Five times Henry almost caught on that Alex was going to propose and one time Henry had no idea.
❤️🤍💙.
10. keep him warm (Rated M | 4,339 words)
I had some fun with combining a bunch of tropes in this one - a bookstore AU with lots of pining, a power outage, being snowed in and THERE WAS ONLY ONE COUCH!! My second fic for frosted pages & snowbound stories collection.
❤️🤍💙.
It has truly been a wonderful year full of writing (and reading) and I am so appreciative to the tumblr community for all the kind comments, tags and reblogs throughout the year. The WIP games were so much fun and I really looked forward to WW and SSS each week!
Thank you to the lovely friends who tagged me in their Writing Round-Ups @kiwiana-writes, @cha-melodius, @firenati0n, @run-for-chamo-miles, @porcelainmortal
and @iboatedhere, @tinyarmedtrex, @0npurpose - look at all that we have accomplished!!! I've just loved reading all your works this year.
I'll try not to make a gigantic list (like I normally do LOL), but if anyone else would like to share, I'd absolutely love to see! So open tag for sure!
Tagging more lovely friends who have been active and tagged me in tag games or WW and SSS lately! @miss-minnelli, @onthewaytosomewhere, @sophie1973, @firstprincehornyramblings, @stellarmeadow
@littlemisskittentoes, @miharaikko, @getmehighonmagic, @orchidscript, @caterpills
@zwiazdziarka, @judasofsuburbia, @strwbrryagcd, @kj-bee, @whimsymanaged
@14carrotghoul, @myheartalivewrites, @tailsbeth-writes, @suseagull5914, @clockwrkpendrxgon
❤️🤍💙HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS! Here's to a successful 2025 with all sorts of wonderful new WIPs to work on! ❤️🤍💙
#rwrb#rwrb fic#red white and royal blue#firstprince#rwrb fanfic#my fics#ao3 wrapped#rwrb fandom#rwrb fanfiction
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Happy New Year!
I'm not fond of the Pantone color of the year, so we're doing the classic colors (LOL).
It has been another wild ride, and I hope for this year it is yet another adventure. Hopefully, EA fixes the occult eye bug...I hope they're doing another big fix!
I have so much in store for this year, for my story, and as well as for my personal life. 2025 is something else, my college life is coming into a close, which means I'm finally going to do some adulting stuff. Anyway, that's a story for the coming months, for now, we close last year's pages, and we start anew.
Again, I wish you all a Happy New Year!
XOXO, Lana
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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: October 2024 ~
☔️ Happy November!!! 🍂 (and Happy Halloween 🎃👻)
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post!
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns
What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Fourever You - October 3rd (Thailand)
🌟 Uncle Unknown - October 4th (Taiwan)
🌟 My Damn Business - October 5th (South Korea)
🌟 Every You, Every Me - October 6th (Thailand)
🌟 DMD Friendship: It Takes Two (reality show) - October 6th (Thailand)
🌟 Eccentric Romance - October 10th (South Korea)
🌟 Blue Complex - October 10th (South Korea)
🌟 Taming the Bad Boy - October 15th (South Korea)
🌟 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo - October 17th (South Korea)
🌟 Love in the Big City - October 21st (South Korea)
🌟 See Your Love - October 23rd (Taiwan)
🌟 See You (movie) - October 25th (Taiwan)
🌟 Perfect Propose: Dream Edition - October 25th (Japan)
🌟 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days - October 26th (China)
🌟 Perfect 10 Liners - October 27th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Stealing From My CEO - October 27th (China)
Monthly Likes / Dislikes
❣️ - Nothing overwhelming going on lately lol but I'm currently enjoying Peaceful Property a lot, it's so unique and fun and I really hope they consider adding more stuff like this in their 2025 lineup!! 🥺
New series & movie announcements
🎥 8 Hours (sequel to 4 Minutes) - Coming 2025
🎥 A Perfect Match - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Knock Out - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Who Can Define Popularity - Date TBA (South Korea)
🎥 Haunted Hearts - Date TBA (Philippines)
🎥 About Faith - Date TBA (South Korea)
🎥 Love Casting (BL reality show) - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Eyes on You - Date TBA (Hong Kong)
🎥 Winter is not the death of Summer but the birth of Spring - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Beloved Enemy (novel adaption from the author of My Stand In) - Date TBA (?)
🎥 Match Play - Date TBA (South Korea)
Other news from the BL world
❗️ The Korean BL Love Class will get a third season, allegedly with the same cast from the previous seasons. Further details are unknown.
❗️ A second season for the Thai BL 4 Minutes was announced titled 8 Hours. The author Sammon will partner with Be On Cloud again and the show will go into production in 2025.
❗️ Actors Mew Suppasit and Tul Pakorn publicly got engaged at the launch event of Mew's new single "Absence".
❗️ The Thai network channel One31 held their 2025 lineup on October 17th. The following BL productions were announced:
Taste
The Wicked Game
Love Carved in the Moonlight
❗️ The Thai production company Idolfactory released a teaser for their upcoming lineup for 2025. The corresponding event will be held on January 12th. The teaser however revealed the following series prior to the event:
Interminable (starring BillyBabe)
My Sweetheart Jom (starring SaintPoom)
Cranium (starring BeckyFreen)
Somewhere Somehow (starring FayMay)
❗️ After it was disclosed that DMD actors Thomas and Kong would no longer participate in the upcoming series The Next Prince, it was announced that Net S. and JJ R. will take the roles of Calvin and Jay respectively.
❗️ GMMTV released a statement saying that the announcement of the winner of the Y-Find contest has been postponed from October 31st to November 30th due to the large number of submissions. Earlier this year the company announced the project as a way for Thai fans to submit original stories, one of which will be chosen to be adapted into a series. Whether or not the postponement will have any effect on the company's upcoming 2025 lineup event is unclear.
Upcoming series & movies for November:
👉🏻 Bad to Bed - November 2nd (Taiwan)
👉🏻 Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (remake of Love in the Air) - November 3rd (Japan)
👉🏻 Our Youth - November 5th (Japan)
👉🏻 Episode 9. Nineteen, Eighteen (special ep) - November 9th (South Korea)
👉🏻 All the Liquors (movie) - November 13th (South Korea)
👉🏻 Caged Again - November 15th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Your Sky - November 17th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Mhom Ped Sawan (bl side story) - November 17th (Thailand)
#doreens monthly bl breakdown#thai bl#bl drama#upcoming bl#update#bl news#its been another month ladies and gays lmao#may November bring us good food!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 (and THK)
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raven's tumblr wrapped 2024
As the year draws to a close, I want to take a moment to thank every single one of my followers, readers, and friends. Your kindness and support have meant the world to me and without you, I likely would have stayed on hiatus throughout the entire year. But when I returned in September, you welcomed me back with open arms and reminded me why I love writing and sharing my work.
You’ve all helped to reignite the writing spark in me, and for that, I’m endlessly grateful. I’m so excited to see what 2025 has in store for all of us. Thank you for being a part of my journey—you’ve made it so much brighter 💚
⋆˙⟡ 2024 fic stats ⟡˙⋆
number of fics posted: 6
number of fics in progress: 53 (i have a serious problem...i knowwww)
⋆˙⟡ most popular fics of 2024 ⟡˙⋆
almost home - first place, 1091 notes
posted: sept. 22
pairing: wooyoung x f.reader (ateez)
readers screaming
↳ #I SWEAR THIS GOT ME RUBBING MY THIGHS IN DESPERATION #FFFFUUUUCKINGGG HELK THIS IS GOOD - @jwymybelovedhusband-reblogs ↳ #PLS #I WAS HOPING SOMEONE WOULD WRITE THIS #i was looking at those jeep pics like sirrrrrr #thank u for putting those pics together also bc i’m going feral - @starhwas-bunny ↳ #stop bc i love thinking abt being passenger princess for anyone in ateez - @cromerhearts
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
oh brother - second place, 978 notes
posted: sept. 9
pairing: jungkook x f.reader (bts)
readers screaming
↳ "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME RAVEN!!!?? i was minding my own business and this pops up on my dash. this was hot, intense, thrilling!!! the bathroom scene... MY HEART DROPPED!!! i cannot wait for pt2! this was sooo good!!" - @aaagustd ↳ "i'm not saying raven has written the best thing in the world, but she did. SHE DID SO WELL!!!" - @ficskhoeloves ↳ #gaaaaaaah #i love this #dfkjsgh #this scratches the itch in my brain #i have been on a brain rot for this man #it's unbearable #this was so cool - @hannieween
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
kingdom cum - third place, 657 notes
posted: sept. 18
pairing: mingi x f.reader x hongjoong (ateez)
readers screaming
↳ "RAVEN!!!!!!!! WTF???!!! WHAT WEDDING??? IT'S FUCKING CANCELED! I NEED THESE TWO, IN THIS WAY, EVERY NIGHT!!!! THIIIISSSSS WASSSSSS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDD!!!! I HAD TO READ IT TWICE! IDK WHAT TO EVEN DO WITH MYSELF RN!!! THEY WERE TOO FUCKING COCKY BUT SOOO SEXY!!!! YOU FED US WITH THIS I SWEAR!! I AM FILLED TO CAPACITY!! (no pun intended... or maybe it was) AHHHHHH!!! I CANNOT STOP SCREAMING OVER THESE TWO!!!!" & #i'm drooling rn #raven strikes again!! #don't know how i'm supposed to move on - @aaagustd ↳ "RAVEN YOU ARE INSANE THIS IS SOSOSOSOSSO JLEJHVLQEFJDJKDFEHG LIKE HELLO ITS FILTHY I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!" & #the image of the two of them sitting on the couch and calling reader over to sit between them?????? #🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 #LIKE YES ME TOO GLADLY ILL BE STAYING #MINGI WITG EH FCKING PIERCING?!??!!?!?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!!?!???!!?!?!!?!!!?!? #WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF #BOOKING A TABLE AT KINGDOM CUM RN!!!! - @shuadotcomrecs ↳ "okay I might be bias cause I did beta it BUT cmon stripper hongjoong and mingi?!! the demon line!!! chile i about passed out reading this. it was too much... in a good way lol. raven this was one of the best filth fics I've read in awhile. kudos sis 💜💜" - @beeznthetrap
⋆˙⟡ longest & most recent fic of 2024 ⟡˙⋆
disgraceful dreams - first place in both categories, 16.4k works
posted: oct. 31
pairing: wooyoung x f.reader feat. yeosang (ateez)
readers screaming
↳ "this quite literally is everything to me ESP for halloween woooooo weee" - @rockstarsanie ↳ "Holy fucking shit... bruh. I'm literally at a loss for words on this! From the dark fantasy academia setting to each witch/warlock detail in all the characters, this is like a Harry Potter fic, but Death Eaters version. What an excellent way to kick off Hongjoong + Wooyoung month. Keep it up, Raven!" - @othersideoutlawsnetwork ↳ "I know this is suppossed to be smut but jeSUS did i fall in love with the worldbuilding! "I don't share!" DJDLDHHS Poor Yeosang, has his best friend competing against him for yns attention but WHERE IS THE HOLY WATER WHEN YOU FREAKING NEED IT? Wooyoung is such a charmer in every way and it didn't change in the slightest in this piece of art" - @cromernet ↳ "“I don’t break the rules, I just bend them” sir how about you just bend me over. then what?" - @recverie ↳ #talented brilliant incredible amazing show stopping spectacular never the same totally unique - @heyoandbye
⋆˙⟡ personal favorite fic of 2024 ⟡˙⋆
just dance it off - first place, rated 5 stars by myself lol
(re)posted: sept. 4th
pairing: jimin x f.reader
my acceptance speech (lol)
↳ This fic first made its debut a few years ago, but honestly? I was never quite happy with how rushed it felt. So this past August, I decided on a whim to open up this doc to do a complete overhaul. I hadn't wrote anything in nearly a year and starting fresh was too daunting so I dove into the comfort of this work. And let me just say, this baby really had her 2024 glow up with 2k additional words! I really think it all flows together so much better now. Also, dance AU's have a special place in my heart. I’ve always dreamed of being a ballet dancer (tragically, I lack the coordination for anything beyond an aggressive ass shake, but hey, a girl can dream lol). If you read the original version, I highly recommend giving this one another shot. It’s sharper, smoother, and has all the juicy bits that make enemies-to-lovers so good: the mutual hatred, the witty banter, the agonizingly denial of feelings, etc.
⋆˙⟡ favorites reads of 2024 ⟡˙⋆
I didn't read nearly the amount of fics that I should have this year, but those that I did knock off my tbr were everything I wanted and moreeeeee. Here's a recap of some I've shared, check out my #raven reads (read fics) and #raven reacts (fic reviews) tags for more!
freaky friday by @aaagustd
still your biggest fan by @byuntrash101
sleepover by @kitten4sannie
one & only by @changbunnies
save a horse, ride your best friend by @seonghwaddict
more than you know by @beomcoups
simply meant to be by @caelesjjk
make me water by @bangtanintotheroom
⋆˙⟡ my top tracks of 2024 ⟡˙⋆
past life persona - erra
reason - kai
left me like summer - daily j
what do you want from me - bad omens
let down - palisades
bouncy (k-hot chilly peppers) - ateez
self-sabotage - waterparks
work - ateez
i think i like you - the band camino
feels bad man - dance gavin dance
⋆˙⟡ my goals for 2025 ⟡˙⋆
promoting & posting my 2 collabs that are in progress (stay tuned for details!!!)
read 50 books (this year's goal was 25)
knock 10-15 fics off my wip list by posting at least once a month without going on hiatus or just dipping without saying anything LOL (can she do it???)
review more fics on tumblr & ao3
A special thanks to Aeris @beomcoups for inspiring this 'wrapped' post, check out hers here. Mine is a little different, but the sentiment is the same!
Tagging: those who've I've mentioned above already plus
@heechwe @kwanisms @wonustars @yoonia @captain-joongz
@xomakara @pars-ley @wongyuseokie @junkissed @jenoslutie
@svtiddiess @yoonguurt @hisunshiine @taegularities @iridescentxstars (if you want to)
& anyone else that feels inspired to do so <3
See you in 2025 🥂✨🌙
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