#must be the depression
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Taking wavy hair to a whole new level 🌊✨
#gouache#traditional art#traditional painting#painting#portrait#ocean#really feeling ocean themes right now#must be the depression#they’re all witches because why not#I make the whales I make the rules
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Can we talk about THIS Scenes from chapter 3?
"You look beautiful honey"
#the amazing digital circus#MY GOD#THAT MAKES IT MORE DEPRESSING 😭#Having memories of your dead wife in a Lovecrafrian being must be hard#My baby has trauma#kinger tadc#kinger my beloved#tadc kinger#kinger x queenie#tadc queenie#kinger#Queenie
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spring is coming. Spring IS COMING. You will stand on soft grass again, and feel the sun kiss your cheeks and shoulders. you will eat of the same berries as the animals returned from their hibernation. you will hear the air alive with your collective breathing.
#i must be reminded#it will always come again#seasonal affective depression#seasonal affective disorder#s.a.d.#writing#spilled ink#fragments#poetry#spring#march
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today i love the red metal crane in her long neck arching her body over the boston skyline, which means i am okay for a moment. when i am unwell, everything is a little ugly. i always tell myself look for the beauty but when it is bad, i will look at birds and sunsets and little ducklings and feel absolutely nothing.
when my brother got his puppy, i was in a deep depression. what kind of monster isn't affected by a puppy. i was gentle and kind to her - i just didn't have an emotional reaction. she's five now and i feel like i spend all of our interactions apologizing to her - i don't know why. i just didn't feel anything. how embarrassing. i feel like if i admit that, i'll seem cruel and jaded. it comes in waves. like, two months ago when i went out into the world - it was like that. life behind a pane of stormglass. a firework could go off over your head - nothing. like dead skin, no reaction. not to ice cream or rainbows or baby chickens. life foggy and uninteresting.
i love goslings again. i love their little webbed feet splayed over grass. i love good food and live music and long walks. i like puppies. i feel like some kind of my soul has been starved - i keep staring at everything with wide eyes, trying to burrow the sensation into my stomach. it's real. beauty is real. when it's bad again, remember this. i stop and smell the flowers, feeling cliche in the moment. i like the white-to-red ombre of my neighbor's roses. i like colorcoding and yoga and cold drinks. i try to pass my hands over every moment, feeling like i'm squeezing joy out of every instant. remember this. for the love of god, it's real - just remember this.
#and yet i NEVER DO REMEMBER IT#spilled ink#writeblr#i feel like due to tiktok ppl think >#deeply depressed & not having an emotional reaction to things MUST mean#you are cruel or uncaring#like girlie that is STILL a lack of mental illness awareness. it doesn't make us mean#it just means im like. ohhhh im not well. i don't really react to puppies. that's bad#Im still gonna be super nice to the puppy. like it just doesn't bring me joy.#bc the problem i have is CLINICAL. the dopamine ISNT being made.#but PLENTY of us are still kind#considerate.#GENTLE people. even if we're like '..........' all the time.#i actually think this is why i'm harsh on people who are so mean - you don't need to be emotionally attached to someone/thing#in order to be kind.... you just choose to be kind bc it's the right thing to do#not bc it's easy....... like it's extra effort sure. but it's worth it. bc ppl deserve kindness.#it's hard to describe this bc it's the ugly side of depression. the part that's like#not in netflix - the part where it's like ''i love this person. i just don't feel anything''
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I made them because I wanted one.
Grab five for $10 (plus shipping) with promo code DRACULA through Friday, May 31, right here.
#stickers#nosferatu#white knuckling depression#if i must become an ornery ghoul to survive so be it#vamily#vtm#shops#shop
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“Green suits you well brother-”
“It is too tight.”
“…On purpose.”
Bonus:
Morgott tries (forced to) color analysis! Ancient grandpa discovers shampoo
#‘why must it be so stiff?’#‘clothing reflects it’s wearer’#‘what dost thou mean?’#‘nothing’#elden ring#morgott the omen king#mohg lord of blood#all hail luminary mohg!#Morgott receives some seriously needed self care#Mohg said ENOUGH of dressing to depress! we IMPRESS now#mohg the lord of fashion#elden DRIP#wip finished#regency era#lord of leyndell#my art
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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A Very Vampiric Dinner Date, Part 1/3
Previous / Next
Featuring Seth and Morana by @bloomingkyras, Artemisia and Kaspar by @pocketgnome, Bria, Christoph and Daniella by @ruthplaysthesims, Madeleine by @plasmafruittree, Fawzia by @simvanie, and Tiberius by @someone-elsa (dining with my very own Annika)!
Special shout-out to @helgatisha for this stunning restaurant, @someone-elsa for the deco Sims, and @icemunmun-spicy-scalpel for all the vampire food!
Lilith: Reservation for Vatore.
Hostess: Right this way, sir, mademoiselles.
Helena: [hushed] The waitstaff is human? Do they know we’re all…
Lilith: Shh. It’s not polite to whisper — or stare.
Caleb: [disappointed tsk] I see their plasma offerings are still abysmal.
Lilith: You set yourself up for disappointment by expecting otherwise. No one walks into a steakhouse anticipating it’ll be a vegan paradise.
Caleb: [muttering] If I’d had any say in it, I never would have chosen a steakhouse in the first place.
Lilith: We haven’t even ordered and you’re already determined to ruin the mood!
Helena: I don’t get it. How does this place even exist? It’s out in the open, right in the middle of everything! Shouldn’t the townspeople be rioting?
Lilith: The citizens of Windenburg are actually rather accommodating
of our kind. After all, it’s almost too easy for them to stumble
into vampire territory. They've learned not to risk drawing our ire. Of course, handling our dealings here with a lightly persuasive touch is also essential to keeping the peace.
Helena: So you hypnotize them.
Lilith: [distractedly] Oh, Red Count’s Risotto is divine. Helena, you must try it! Don’t look at him for permission. He’d like you to believe it’s all or nothing, but his position lacks nuance. There’s nothing inherently wrong with drinking blood. Besides, the supply here is ethically obtained. No guilty conscience, no hand-wringing, just exquisite cuisine. See? I’m respecting your boundaries. Of course, it hardly rivals a full drain, but at least it’s a start. [to waitress] Two Risottos! And we’ll split a Rare Stake.
Helena: Lilith, I don’t know-
Lilith: Please and thank you.
Caleb: [dejectedly] Just a plasma tea for me, thanks.
#ts4#sims 4#ts4 story#sims 4 story#story: hzid#lilith vatore#caleb vatore#helena zhao#lilith really thinks she's holding all the cards now#though caleb must be going through a depressive episode#he's not putting up a very good fight 🤣
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It's a sign of the times
alternately titled: an extremely self indulgent web weave with no clear theme other than my current (very jumbled) feelings
@ryebreadgf/twin size mattress, the front bottoms/I am the architect of my own destruction, juansen dizon/sylvia plath/ @jaggedjawjosh/unknown/my spotify playlist/waiting room, phoebe bridgers/ @body-to-flame/nothings new, rio romeo/last words of a shooting star, mitski/unknown/sylvia plath/god must hate me, catie turner/sign of the times, harry styles
#lilly’s weaves#web weaving#quotes#web weave#poetry#the front bottoms#juasen dizon#sylvia plath#phoebe bridgers#rio romeo#mitski#catie turner#god must hate me#chronic illness#on chronic illness#on depression#on anxiety#on the past#harry styles
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OOOOOO CAN I ASK HOW WOULD THE N2 SQUAD REACT TO EACH OF THEM DYING?
What have you unleashed?
(WARNING: Angst, allusions to death, all that fun stuff. Nothing graphic tho, don't worry)
Jamil
He shouldn’t be surprised.
Well… He isn't surprised. Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things. Not for more than a few months, anyway.
Every once in a while, life takes pity on him and throws some nice, agreeable news his way. Just enough so that he lets his guard down. Just enough so that he allows himself to think maybe things will get better. Just enough so that he can pretend he isn't chained to a fate he will never escape.
A letter to NRC, a plan that goes a little too well, a couple of upperclassmen who seem to genuinely love him for who he is and not who he pretends to be.
So of course it doesn't last. Life gives and life takes.
Kalim follows, Octavinelle gets involved, Leona and Vil-
Well…
He isn't surprised.
Jamil Viper doesn't get nice things.
Vil
They look at him like they expect something from him. Horror, anger, ugly tears maybe. Just a reaction. Anything. Anything at all.
Vil doesn't give them that. Doesn't give them an opportunity to pity him. Doesn't give them food for gossip. Doesn't give them any material to make this topic last for any longer than it has to.
He knows how it works. Someone snaps a pic of him at his lowest, someone records his voice breaking during an interview, someone catches his lips tremble for but a second, and everybody will start talking about it again. And again. And again. For as long as there is a reaction from him. For as long as the topic attracts views.
Suffering brings more views than success.
So Vil doesn't react. Doesn't say a thing. Doesn't acknowledge the topic.
Better to be a cold asshole for a few weeks than to hear about it for years.
And in the darkness of his own room, where there is no camera, no eyes, and no ears to witness his grief-
Vil cries himself to sleep.
Leona
It’s just sand.
Only sand.
For miles and miles, further than the eye can see, nothing but sand.
Ruggie had the clever foresight to send all of Savanaclaw packing when Leona got the news. They would be sand too otherwise.
Who cares.
Who fucking cares.
He could turn the whole world to sand and it wouldn't be enough.
He might as well turn his own heart into sand.
It would hurt less.
#are you a masochist Anon?#or do you want others to suffer lol?#those are short but I think they convey enough#I have a lot of thoughts for Vil's reaction tho#like I imagine Jamil would be defeated and lose all warmth#and I imagine Leona would either go full depression or destructive anger#but VIL-#can you imagine how shitty it must be to have everybody's gaze on you when you're trying to mourn?#how that'd be the only topic you would find online about yourself for weeks?#we all know Vil is obsessed with how he's perceived by others and he'd definitely check his own name just as much as Neige's popularity#so Vil looks up his name and sees those fucking news again and again and again#and it just opens his wounds again and again and again#and his only way out is to pretend he doesn't care#and so he keeps everything to himself#uses his acting talent to pretend he isn't as affected as he is#and only when he is alone does he let himself break down#anyway those all would be long enough into dating that they are serious about each other and that it'd be known that Vil is dating#but not long enough for them to have made their own life with this relationship#just a tease from life#because Jamil is a tragedy and a half and I had to play with that :3#twisted wonderland#n2 squad#leojami#leovil#javil#ask me anything#jamil viper#leona kingscholar#vil schoenheit#twst fic
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this man is. embarrassingly transparent
#hate to put qian on blast like this#but it must be done#those four years of yuan being away was just (qian depression) (Lili and san pang exchanging exhausted knowing looks)#1st song: theres this girl by sign crushes motorist#2nd song: 饺子 (dumpling) by chinese american bear#unknown (2024)#unknown the series#qian x yuan#chris chiu#bl drama#CJ's edits
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adrift
#FORGOT TO POST HERE. yes ill post a science experiment of an art piece w a dramatic caption. who do u think i am this is my BRAND#i am nothing if not consistent. and dramatic. and this boy's mom. i love him#i do stuff like this sometimes to go 110% in the loose direction to remind my hands they can do that#my art style leans stiffer and exercises like squiggles are good for muscle memory and exploring new expression its fun#i can draw a million different art styles if i must but i want the default to have a lil more flow yaknow. (that rhymes <3)#ill never get over how fun the imagery potential of his little miserable depression map moment is. the white hexagons of woe#tastee#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#suntails
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The fact that when Leola's friend was yelling "Help!", Aaravos had no idea at that point that anything had happened to Leola but he still immediately rushed out to help Leola's friend, thinking the little girl was somehow hurt or in danger.
He legit showed concern and compassion for everyone 😭
#the dragon prince#aaravos#that compassionate man is still in there#he needs someone to understand him#he needs a hug#he's been suffering for so long now#we must heal his depression!
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good old times
#invincible#invincible show#invincible fanart#mark grayson#nolan grayson#debbie grayson#fan art#artists on tumblr#digital art#sketch#doodle#my art#i headcanon that mark was THE ugliest baby ever and nolan's immediate reaction to seeing mark was the most disgusted 'ew' of all time#mainly bc i think it would be the funniest thing ever actually#then he gets attached and is like 'how did this happen. he is so ugly'#nolan grayson: mark may be an ugly baby. but he is MY ugly baby#sorry i have actual deep thoughts about this show but i have to meme on it or else it becomes a little too depressing#nolan being clueless about kids. esp human kids is another hc#humans are so fragile so i must bundle my part human child in winter clothes in the middle of spring <- nolan's thought process#debbie thinks it's cute#making myself depressed knowing how this family turns out#whatever nolan wins the most divorced man award. i need debbie to explode him#what could have been scenarios always get me because like. what if nolan stopped being constipated and had a rational thought for once#if he was able to see how insane the viltrumite way of life was and was able to properly cope with breaking away from it...
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"Weakling".
The very last word Savage ever said to Feral. One last time he lifted his little brother from the ground.
Yesterday I read @ohboi 's short AU (X) and I thought that our two works could complement each other quite well, so please check it out :)
I would like to give my special thanks to @scuttlebuttin , whose amazing work has been a huge inspiration and of great aid when drawing both Maul and Feral! <33
My taglist is open :) just let me know if you want in!
@justalittletomato @dukeoftheblackstar @darthmaulshispanichousewife @botherbother-blog @aftergloom @badolmen @ihaventpickedausername @ohboi @stardustbee @nik-barinova @the-chains-are-the-easy-part @gen-has-green-vibes @ejfivercommander @herbalinz-of-yesteryear
#star wars#clone wars#savage opress#feral opress#tcw#I only have depressing ideas and I'm truly sorry for it#i must rest now#im sleep deprived because this was more important#like WAAAAY-#my art
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I hate to say it but I might have to admit that Redditors can be pretty based sometimes
#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd unknown#dbd the unknown#pls pls pls you can trust me to be normal about that i am completely normal about that i am so normal about these themes#and their direct opposite i am normal and can be trusted with anything that's either like Th//e La//st Uni//corn or its direct opposite#like no. no i have to remember that bhvr have no idea what they're doing. i must not get sucked in. i must remember better games... unless#like no you have no idea what id give for this to be intended like aaaaugh i am unimaginably insane about the inhuman desperately#trying to be human in any way it can and the world continually rejecting those efforts#just like i am incredibly abnormal about humanity as a horror for the inhuman and the active rejection of humanity by something#that is; despite its best efforts and thw verdict of its biology; human. haha humanity as a horror you are forced to be and#perhaps always were but never had the chance to realise it. anyway. i digressed.#also the actual reason why Oh Gross (aka The Unknown) looks like that is because the lore states that some people thought#it was just a typical serial killer and gross is just a cumulation of everything everyone has ever thought about it#(god thats depressing)#so yeah. sorry no themes of humanity here i think. though id kill for them.
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