#musings / i wish i could forget you / lexie

[spookyrobbins]

Okay, i can’t believe you managed to make a fucking bubblegum and x-ray hella sad. Kudos for that!

Now let’s do part 2 of the angst game with more random words.

1.) Moles/freckles

2.) Glasses

3.) Gauze-paws

4.) Polaroid

5.) Fending machine

6.) Ballpoint

7.) Softball

8.) Leather

9.) Clown

10.) Bailey

1.) Moles/freckles

callie was always fascinated with arizona's moles and freckles and used to trace them and count them and she honestly thought she could spend hours cataloging each one

there was one on her left knee that looked like the lyra constellation (a constellation that is partially based in the mythology of the muses) that was one of callie's particular favourites

i'll let you fill in the blanks :)

2.) Glasses

it started with glasses, oddly enough

arizona was in denial, but callie noticed; the colonel kept losing his glasses, he kept losing his glasses and he just seemed confused

arizona refused to even talk about it; he was the colonel, he was always fine

and then he asked how seattle was - arizona hadn't lived in seattle in three years

the next time they visited a few months later, he hesitated when he spoke to sofia, as if it took him a moment to place her

and still, arizona and barbara didn't want to see it bc he was fine most of the time, he had lived a hard life, he was getting older so a bit of confusion was normal and nothing callie said could change their minds

if callie could’ve done anything to stop the devastation that appeared in arizona’s face, she would’ve. but she could do nothing but watch as arizona’s face crumbled when her father turned to her after dinner one night and called her margaret, his beloved older sister, whom arizona did bear a striking resemblance

but maybe the worst moment came a few months after he was diagnosed, when arizona was speaking to him on the phone and he mentioned that he was going to give tim a call; arizona didn't know what to say but she didn't have the heart to tell him that tim was dead

and to think, it started with glasses

3.) Gauze-paws

arizona knew she shouldn't be jealous; they were just friends; mark was just helping his best friend bc she had chicken pox and she probably really wanted to scratch

it was stupid and childish to be jealous; after all, she was the one lying to her girlfriend - she totally had chickenpox, she and tim had it at the same time and spent a week on the couch, absolutely miserable, watching re-runs of MASH

but god if she didn't hate mark sloan just a bit, she just wished he wasn't around so much, like if he decided to leave seattle for a while or forever, arizona wouldn't exactly be mourning the loss

she really shouldn't have lied to callie, she just panicked and now mark sloan was cuddling with her girlfriend who looked unfairly cute with chicken pox and gauze paws

4.) Polaroid

callie loved taking pictures of arizona

arizona hated it when callie took photos of her, not because she was self-conscious, but because callie rarely told her she was doing it; arizona would just find polaroids of herself lying around (there had been a particularly dicey moment when cristina nearly found a more racy one if not for callie's quick thinking)

callie started to hate it too at some point; some point around when it seemed like arizona had disappeared in on herself, slipped into a deep, dark place and wasn't the arizona callie knew and all she had left of her arizona were the polaroids

callie couldn't remember the last time she felt so useless and pathetic as she flipped through old polaroids of arizona and a smile that callie hadn't seen in months; somehow it felt like she was looking at a ghost, even if arizona was only twenty feet away

5.) Fending machine

when she's wrapped up in planning a surgery, arizona frequently forgets to eat; for years, callie would remind her, just like arizona would make sure callie ate when she was working on her research

her favourite was this one kind of chocolate peanut butter granola bars that they only had in the cancer wing vending machines, which was on the clear opposite side from peds

it had been years since callie was around to take care of her and arizona had honestly forgot about the granola bars

but one day, she was down in the cancer wing for a patient and she happened to pass by the vending machines and it was so stupid it was a freaking granola bar, but she just felt alone? because nobody cared to make sure she was eating and bringing her the granola bars she liked and make sure that she wasn't so, so painfully alone all the time; but she had made her bed and now she had to lie in it, even if it felt like she couldn't breathe

6.) Ballpoint

arizona broke up with her and callie didn't want to be that girl who cried over stupid things just because they belonged to someone else

but then she found a ballpoint pen in the pocket of her labcoat and it was definitely arizona's; callie definitely didn't keep glitter pens in her lab coat and callie was just so angry because who did arizona think she was going around kissing her in elevators and smiling with her stupid dimples and yep, callie might be able to hate arizona just a little bit, she tossed the pen in the trash and steeled herself for having to go up to peds and maybe see arizona, honestly, her day couldn't get that much worse, not when it started with crying in her cereal

7.) Softball

arizona was cleaning out her junk closet when she found a picture of the hospital softball team, all goofy smiles and arms slung over shoulders and just happiness bled through the photo

as she traced over their faces with her finger, she desperately wished she could go back to that moment and warn them, tell them to hold onto this moment of happiness because henry would die a month later, teddy would leave and never return, mark and lexie would never get to be together, owen and cristina would fall to pieces, she and callie would tear each other apart, cristina would leave, derek would die and leave meredith broken with three small children; everything would change and very rarely for the better

8.) Leather

arizona locked herself in a supply closet, she knew she was being childish or jealous or insecure or whatever million words callie had thrown at her years ago, but god, it felt like her heart was being torn to shred for the hundredth time

but seeing penny wearing callie's leather jacket, the one that callie had been wearing all those years ago in that dirty bar bathroom, the one that arizona used to steal as a joke, the one that had always been arizona's favourite, it just felt like one more thing on top of everything else, just further proof that callie had moved on and arizona was just going to have to be okay with it

only she didn't know how to be okay anymore, she wasn't sure she could do that anymore, she'd just smile through the pain and it'd work because no one other than callie would know it wasn't a real smile, and even callie wouldn't notice because she didn't care anymore and arizona wished she didn't care. she wished she didn't automatically look for callie, didn't catch herself doing a million things that had become muscle memory because of callie

9.) Clown

"callie, what the fuck happened? why is sofia calling me in tears?"

"we took sofia to the circus and there were clowns and penny wanted to do something nice for sofia and she took her to get a balloon animal when I went to get food and she didn't know that sofia's afraid of clowns. that's all. it's fine, I'm dealing with it. you don't need to freak out about it."

"I don't need to freak out, seriously, callie? i think I'm perfectly entitled to freak out because my daughter called me in tears because you left her alone with your girlfriend who didn't know she is terrified of clowns. damn it, callie."

"it's fine."

"it's not. it's really, really not. sofia is terrified and I'm on the other side of the country and she is crying and she didn't feel like she could tell you because you'd be mad. it's really, really not fucking okay, callie."

10.) Bailey

bailey really thought out of everyone, callie and arizona would make it

they loved each other in such a special way; they loved each other even when they hated each other; they had special smiles and twinkling eyes; and bailey always grumbled about them but she sort of adored them in her own way

she wanted to shake them and tell them to hold on to each other

she wanted to yell at arizona to actually fight for something because she loved callie torres so damned much and you don't just give up on the love of your life, even if you think you're doing it for her happiness

she wanted to shake callie and tell her that arizona still loved her, but she was terrified because callie left and she was trying to protect callie and callie had to see that arizona watched her and waited for her and the way arizona's smile dimmed just a bit more each day

but she didn't and she would regret that as she sat in a courtroom watching a lawyer try to destroy arizona while callie did nothing

she would regret that when she saw a version of arizona robbins that was wholly unfamiliar to her when she came back from new york

she would regret that as she watched arizona finally try to move on with now that callie was really gone, but bailey could tell that her heart wasn't in it because her heart was in

she would regret that whenever she got a message from callie "just checking in"

but there wasn't much for her to do, so she would give tuck an extra hug because he was still here and she wouldn't have to give him up; and she'd tell ben how much she loved him because not everyone got to tell the love of their life they loved them

and she would say a silent prayer that callie and arizona someday find their way back together.

[realitv]

senses and other oddly specific headcanons.

tagged by:  i stole this from lexie and rabbit. tagging: nah just steal it

1. what does your muse smell like?

off. media smells off, and it’s an uncomfortable scent. frayed wires and an electrical fire waiting to happen; the acrid scent of static that clings to old box tvs. it clings to them like a shroud, hiding underneath all that chanel no 5 they spray upon themselves to try and mask the scent and it’s this sickly sweet, over-powering floral perfume that’s barely layered over the smell of burning electronics and static. and underneath that, something sharper. something raw and wet and metallic. meat? blood? sweat? it’s hard to pin point. It’s a smell that signals their arrival, chokes others when nearby, and lingers long after they have left the room.

2. what does your muse’s hands feel like?

cold. smooth. media has no life in their hands and no longer has ‘real’ skin; relying on an easy-to-tear and mend membrane made of silicone and teflon. media’s hands hover at ten degrees colder than a normal person’s hands; and are utterly void of callouses and fingerprints. they get their nails done pretty regularly; neutral acrylics shaped in an almond; almost a little too sharp to touch.

3. what does your muse usually eat in a day?

media doesn’t need to eat! if they are digesting something/someone it’s because they are consolidating a power to themselves, or that they are eating for social acceptance from their peers. that being said, i’ll go through their day as if they were actively around someone they wish to be socially accepted by! media values health amongst all other things; and prefers organic and vegan (ha ha) food. for breakfast, they prefer to start off with a tofu breakfast scramble; seasoned lightly with salt and pepper, and brimming with vegetables like tomatoes, onions, spinach, black beans, and bell peppers. locally roasted coffee with no sugar, no cream is preferred.  for lunch, they start off with a soup - usually roasted tomato and herb, or roasted pepper; followed by a quinoa salad with cashews, mixed greens and a ginger peanut dressing. then, water.  for dinner, they usually have roasted cauliflower with a tahini sauce, or a portobella mushroom burger. they’re pretty big on having well seasoned food, but abhor sweet things. can’t handle them. dry red wine is the preferred way to end their evening meal! 

4. does your muse have a good singing voice?  

they have a supernaturally good singing voice. so good it’s a little unnerving. always a perfect pitch, always sustained as perfectly as possible. impossible to hear where their breath ends and begins, perfect enunciation. there’s never any flaws - could be a recording.  

5. does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?  

well... bad habits wise, media tends to just... forget to blink. they don’t need to, and they’re constantly recording. that’s a bad habit they need to get rid of and deal with; but as for nervous ticks -- media’s always confident. they’re still, they’re old and slow and always reaching. i suppose when they’re nervous, they tend to drum their fingers against their thigh (re: come to jesus) in agitation/nervousness.  hubris is also very sexy of them and something they have a lot, a lot, a lot of. 

6. what does your muse usually look like/wear? 

media’s unglamoured, default appearance is simply ‘newscaster’. how they style and wear clothes for that day depends on if media is feeling more feminine or masculine. if media is feeling more feminine, they usually style their hair (bleached to shit and in need of an entire can of hairspray to keep it in place) with hot rollers and keep it as iconically ‘newscaster hair’ as they can, and wear sharp, crisp and fitted suits. usually dark colours; such as navy or black, with a buttoned up blouse and a pencil skirt that comes to their knees. black nylons, black, sensible shoes. some accessories - small gold earrings, a fine gold chain, or some bracelets - may be added if they see fit. if media is feeling more masculine, they slick their hair back and opt for a boxier fit in a pant suit; still keeping to their navy and black; and some sensible oxfords. a tie, of course, will be added in a matching colour, and their cuff links are the only bit of gold they will have on their person at the time. if media is feeling neither masculine or feminine, they usually stick with pencil skirts and boxier blazers, with varied accessories if need be. always practical, always classic silhouettes. minimal and sterile. 

7. is your muse affectionate? how much? how so?  

no. yes. not in ways we would consider affectionate. depends. media shows affection and understands love as consumption; and so they most often devour their children in order to consolidate that love, and more importantly, their power. they are not overly affectionate then in most respects: they hold others at arm’s length, and rarely offer a kind touch or word of encouragement. most compliments serve another purpose, to manipulate and keep the recipient coming back for more. they can be genuine, if only for a few moments - and usually with their children or surrogate children. for strangers, co-workers and anyone else... nothing. media is cold and impersonal.  that being said.... they are in (REDACTED) with their husband the law(TM) and are at the most at ease around him in terms of casual, constant affection. they’re incredibly physically affectionate towards law, and are often in casual contact with him if he is nearby. they speak with actions, not words when he is nearby. with world, they tend to be more verbally affectionate than physically affectionate; and prefer privacy above all else when being affectionate with world. some things they do not wish to broadcast. 

8. what position does your muse sleep in?  

media doesn’t need to sleep, but.... they sleep on their right side with a hand splayed out and over their bed. 

9. could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?  

yes. their heels just click loudly against linoleum. 

[heavenlydreamerblog]

In Too Deep

Hi everyone. Getting back the writing vibe and hope to post every Friday if possible. This follows on from Chapter 16 and Shannon’s post on Instagram! Keep giving me feedback on likes and dislikes. I’ll take all your comments on board. If anyone else wants tagging in future fiction, just drop me a message. And if I keep missing your tag (this does happen) let me know!

@letsbeautifuldisaster @llfd1977 @nikkitasevoli @letojokerownsme @wolfgirl624@beautorigin @jaredlxto @i-writeandread @darlingdiary87 @reikihealermary@msroxyblog @lifeonmars30 @myxtina @pixieriding @lostinletoland

Check out In Too Deep on my Wattpad account: 

https://www.wattpad.com/user/HeavenlyDreamerBlog

Chapter 17 

I froze in his arms, a dizzying feeling washing over me as he pulled me in ever closer, holding me tight to his chest. 

Instagram? What was he thinking? "Are you really sure this was a good idea Shan?" I pulled my head from his shoulder so we could at least have eye contact for this conversation. 

"You know you like your privacy. This'll blow that out of the water," I warned. "Let me see what you've posted." I made a grab for his phone but he held it out of my reach. "Shan! C'mon you must let me see... y'know it'll affect me as well as you," I pleaded, leaning across his body. He smiled, watching my arms stretching out towards his phone. His arm held me at bay. "Ask nicely and maybe ....," he teased. Then,  with a smile playing on his lips: "Or how about kiss me and I hand over my phone and the password." His eyes locked on my mine waiting for an answer. 

I let out a nervous laugh. "You drive a hard bargain Leto but you're forgetting something." I reached into my pocket for my phone. "I'm following you on Instagram Shan, remember?" I pulled away from him and keyed in my password, holding my breath. One click and Instagram popped up on my screen. I could feel my breathing slow and the dizziness return as I scrolled down the screen. And then ... there we were. The photo showed Shannon's eyes gazing into the camera with his arms wrapped around my back and his fingers splayed in my hair. You couldn't see my face and I hoped my white T-shirt was anonymous enough not to identify me. His words underneath read: ‘Guess what! Early birthday present’. 

I so desperately wanted to be mad with him but part of me melted when I saw his eyes in the photo. They were hooded and looking up into the camera lens, while his lips were buried in my hair. "It's a beautiful photo," I murmured, closing the distance between the two of us. "I love it ... I just wish maybe you'd asked me before posting." I stood on tiptoes and gently kissed the corner of his lips, running my fingers across his stubble. 

"And if I'd asked .... ?" He let the question hang in the air. "You would have said no Lexy. Anyway, I don't think anyone'll know it's you." 

But I knew this wasn't the problem we were now facing. "Shan this photo's gonna go viral and you know they'll stop at nothing to find out my identity. " I felt quite sick at the thought of the impending chaos that his post was likely to cause. "And you'll have the paparazzi on your back," I warned, rubbing my fingers across his calloused palms. "You're not making things easy for us," I sighed. 

"Look at me Lexy." He cupped my chin and raised my face to his. "You know how close I came to fucking up and losing you." I watched him search for the words to continue. "This is just my way, however crazy, of telling everyone that I'm happy with someone I care deeply about." 

He bit down on his bottom lip, looking for a response to his admission. Words weren't my strong point in these situations; instead I trailed my fingers across his neck until they tangled with his hair. "Give me space and time Shannon," I whispered. "Things .... they're complicated at the moment."   But as the words came out, I realised time was running out and that the space I needed would be hard to find. 

I could see the hurt in his eyes and it burned into me like a flame through snow. “Shan, there are things I need to sort out.” I looked at the doubt and hurt in his eyes and walked away, afraid to look back. “I’ll let myself out.” I unlocked the door and walked into the cool evening air. I felt a sob escape my lips, unable to forget the look in his eyes. How could I say the love word to Shannon when I’d allowed myself to be turned by his brother? 

 **************

I put my key in the lock and turned it, shoving open the door with my hip while balancing files in one hand and a bag of shopping in the other. 

I walked slowly, careful not to drop anything on my way into the kitchen. Jess was waiting, two glasses of red wine balanced perfectly in either hand as she watched me approach. I placed the files on the counter top and dropped the bag on the floor. I held my hand out and accepted the glass. “Thanks Jess,” I sighed, gesturing to our favourite sofa in the den. “Let’s sit down so I can think through everything.” I’d already called ahead, breaking my heart to Jess while explaining everything that had happened between myself and Shannon: the Instagram post, his feelings for me, the look of hurt on his face and me walking out on him. 

I grabbed a handful of cushions and placed them under my head, my feet on Jess’s lap. “Have you seen the Instagram post?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to hear the answer.

Jess paused and then nodded. “So what do you think? Will anyone recognise me?” Of course what I really wanted to ask was: Would Jared know it was me? 

She rubbed her hands over my feet, knowing it was a guaranteed stress reliever. “Do you want the honest truth?” I could feel  the air around me cooling, reaching out and curling its way into my veins.

“Just tell me what you think Jess ... honestly.” 

“Well ... I know it’s you because I know you’re with Shannon some of the time,” she said, reassuring me slightly. “Whether anyone else will know .... well ... I guess time will tell,” she mused. But I could tell she was holding something back. I noticed little frown lines creasing her brow and that habit she had of rubbing the skin on her lips if she was worried. 

I took a gulp of wine to calm my nerves. “OK what’s up? I can tell there’s something you’re not saying. Just spit it out.” 

Jess breathed deeply before speaking. “Jared’s called the office this afternoon and he’s been calling my phone, wanting to know where you are. Have you had any missed calls or messages from him?” she asked. “He sounded really pissed .... maybe you should call him back to sort out the problem,” she suggested, moving my feet from her lap and placing them back on the floor. “Come on. There’s no time like the present. You know what he’s like – the longer you leave it, the more pissed he’ll get.” 

So now I’ve got Shannon pissed with me because I ran out on him, unable to communicate my feelings’ and Jared’s pissed with me for reasons unknown. I rested my elbows on my knees and groaned. “Jess, why did I ever agree to take on this job with Jared? My stress levels are way off the scale.” I could feel my stomach tightening, butterflies fluttering at the thought of what was to come next.

Jess pushed herself up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen. “Is your phone in this bag on the floor Lex?” she called out. I could hear her rummaging around and then she returned, holding it out to me. “Call him, now! Find out what’s the problem and then deal with it. And Lex ...” she sat back down and pulled me into her arms. “Try a bit of self restraint and honesty. It’s four days until the party. What happens then, when you’re confronted with Jared and Shannon? You have to sort out this shit before it’s too late sweetheart.” She dragged her fingers through my hair, watching as I closed my eyes. I felt her lips brush across my cheek. “Go Lex. Phone Jared.”

**************  

I sat on my bed, phone in hand dreading the next few minutes. After a few deep breaths, I lay back on the pillows and hit the call button next to his name. 

One ring, two rings, three rings ... four rings. I was just about to hang up when the line suddenly connected. There was silence. Keep a grip Lexy, I thought, even though I could feel a sense of panic taking over me. “Ummmm ... Jared, are you there?” I asked, again met with silence. I tried to bring my breathing under control. “OK, if you’re not going to talk, I’ll hang up ...” I waited to see if this would work, more than willing to carry out my threat.

Suddenly his voice whispered down the line: “There’s something you’re not telling me Lexy. Why couldn’t I get hold of you this afternoon?” There was a pause, then he continued: “I called the office as well as Jess but nobody would say where you were. What’s the secret you’re keeping?” 

I could feel a swirling vortex in my head, my vision was clouded and every muscle tensed as I desperately fought to find a credible answer. What had Jess said about telling the truth? “Jared.” I paused for a moment, giving me time to think. “Look I know you demand a lot ... but I have a life away from this job as well you know. And that life is private. Surely you of all people can understand the need to keep some things secret.” I waited to see how he would react. There was silence again. 

Downstairs I could hear Jess clearing the kitchen, pots and pans clattering and doors opening and closing. “Jared, are you speaking to me?” I asked. All I could hear in the background was noise and I was sure a murmured conversation. “Jared, are you with someone else? Talk to me or I’ll hang up.” Still nothing. I huffed and hit the end call button. Two people could play this game, I thought. I tossed my phone on to the bedside table and waited for him to call me back. Nothing. Downstairs, the kitchen din had subsided and I could hear the creak of the stairs. Jess must be coming to bed. 

“Jess,” I called out, “Things didn’t work out. J wouldn’t talk to me.” I heard footsteps outside my door and the handle turned. “Come and talk to me Jess, for God’s sake I need someone to hold on to at the moment.” I closed my eyes and breathed. The bed dipped. “How can I deal with him Jess?” I reached out for her hand and opened my eyes. 

I’d dimmed the lights so I wasn’t dazzled but the sight made me freeze, the words drying up in my throat. Jared was sat on my bed, his blue eyes drilling into me. “Talk to me instead Lexy.” I tried sitting up but wasn’t quick enough, his hands pushing me down. 

I was trapped. I tried to move, but each time I twisted away, Jared's grip tightened on my wrists. I watched as his muscles strained against my efforts to free myself. "Just-let-me-go," I gasped, the words stammered through sobs as I gave up holding back the floodgate of tears. His grip loosened and I yanked my arms away, turning my face into the pillow, wanting to hide the tears now streaming down my reddened cheeks. I was furious that Jared could cause me to break down like this. I'd never felt so vulnerable. There was movement behind me and I felt the mattress dip further, the cool air replaced by the warmth of his body. Jared's hand returned, this time gentle and soothing, gently rubbing my back and shoulders.  

Jared's POV 

I knew I shouldn't have come back to Lexy's but I was so mad when she left so suddenly this afternoon. I've always made a point of never mixing work with pleasure - and this is the reason why. My anger got the better of me and now look what's happened. I can't bear to see what I've done which is why I'm lying here, too close for comfort considering what I've just put her through. I scoop a strand of her hair and breath in the smell of her body. "I'm sorry," I whisper. "Lexy talk to me. I hate myself for doing this to you." I feel her breathing calm and slow down but she doesn't move or make any attempt to say anything. I lie next to her, rubbing my stubble gently on her back, letting my breath leave warm trails across her bare shoulders. I desperately want to know who she was with this afternoon but I guess I'll have to wait until she's ready to talk. My lips leave soft kisses across her skin. "I'm leaving Lexy. Get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow." 

There's so much more I want to say and so much more I want to do. I ache for her touch, for the feel of her lips on mine. I want her long legs wrapped around me; I want to drag my tongue across her soft nipples. And I want  to hear her moan as we both climax together. 

But instead, I lean over and kiss her gently on her cheek. "Goodnight baby girl."

[story-of-lost-magic]

Chapter 105

The ship that Servilia had booked their voyage to Tejko on was not a particularly large vessel. While it could not be considered luxurious it did allow for each of them to have their own room and provided hot meals both in the morning and evening for the four day cruise.

 Three days into the trip and Cross hadn’t eaten much more than a few slices of bread and spent the majority of his time hanging over the side of the ship, letting the cool sea air wash over his feverish face. Still, he wouldn’t have called it an enjoyable experience as his fingers continued the grip the railing with a white-knuckled grip and his stomach flopped with every movement.

 “Almost there,” Cross mumbled to himself. “Almost there.”

 “Do not forget the return trip,” Misa said quietly, her body situated in a similar position. Her face was a darker hue of green than usual and her eyes had long ago gone glassy.

 “Don’t remind me.” Cross said.

 “This is a foolish way to travel. I do not understand why we could not have travel by land.”

 “It’s on a different continent, we would have to travel by boat eventually.”

 “We could have traveled the majority of this trip by land. Banksy showed me the map.”

 “The boat is faster.”

 “I do not care. It feels too unstable,” Misa said

 “You sound scared.” Cross tried to give her a playful grin, but his face couldn’t quite muster it and he settled for a grimace.

 “I am not scared,” Misa said, a hint of anger in her soft voice, before they hit a particularly large wave and the entire boat rocked. Misa’s hand instantly found Cross’s. Her fingers gripped his with enough force to bruise his skin as vines quickly spread across the back of her hand, knotting around and around until Cross couldn’t even see his hand.

It took Cross a few moments to find his voice as his stomach had lodged itself somewhere in his throat. He grit his teeth and will his legs to stop shaking. “A-are you alright?”

 Misa did not respond immediately. “I do not like not being able to see the land. I feel very out of place here. Even more so than the city. At least there I could still sense the trees. There is nothing here for me to hear. I do not like it, but yes, I am… Fine.” The vines connecting them retreated and she released his hand. Cross had felt somewhat better when she was holding it.

  The door that led below deck opened and Lexi strolled out, her scarf fluttering against the wind.

 She made her way over to the pair and dropped down beside Cross, letting her back rest and against the railing and the soft spray from the ocean kiss against her skin.

 “Are you both still feeling sick?” Lexi said.

 Cross and Misa both nodded.

 “Perhaps the deck isn’t the best place for you, then?” Lexi mused, running her hand through her long hair and letting it catch against the sea breeze. “Maybe try to get some sleep?”

 “It’s worse below,” Cross grumbled. “Feels like I’m moving more. Can’t sleep when I’m moving.”

 “You sleep on the train all the time,” Lexi said.

 “It’s different,” Cross’s white knuckle grip on the railing continued the boat hit another large wave. He heard the metal railing groan as Misa’s vines began to constrict again. “Trains are normal. If the train crashes, I can just jump off. Same with a wagon or carriage. If I’m blew deck and the ship sinks, I’ll die.”

 “The ship isn’t going to sink.”

 “You don’t know that.”

 “Cross, this is the epitome of smooth sailing. There is barely a cloud in the sky and the seas are calm. The ship isn’t going to sink.”

 Cross made a face at her. “I’m sure a lot of people who died at sea thought the same thing.”

 Lexi rolled her eyes. “You’re being a brat.”

 Cross decided to change the subject. “Speaking of, where is Makina?”

 “I am exactly where I should be.” Makina said, seemingly appearing between Cross and Misa. “As I told you when we traveled to Ash, the spirit of the sea knows better than to cause you injury, as you still belong to me. Even if you were to fall into the waters you would be perfectly safe.” “You can’t imagine how safe and secure that makes me feel, really,” Cross grit out. “But just for fun, I’m going to stay right here and hold tight.” Makina ignored him and cast an eye towards Misa. “The same does not go for you, however. I would advise that you remain exactly where you are. Perhaps a bit further away, to be safe. You never know when my raw power could come unleashed.”

 “Maki, play nice,” Lexi warned.

 “Hmph,” Makina pushed away from the group. “I am going to the front, I wish to feel the wind better.”

 “The Goddess seems angry,” Misa said as Makina stomped away.

 “She’s always seems angry,” Cross slipped down until he was sitting on the ground beside Lexi, his grip on the railing still tight. “It’s just how she is.”

 xXx

 The cool wind rushed through Makina’s hair as she stood at the Bow of the ship. She let out a deep breath out through her nose and held up her arms. From the tips of her fingers she conjured delicate tendrils of ice. They played across her skin for a moment before dispersing into nothingness. Making frowned and closed her eyes. She felt the ice begin to reform when a voice broke he concentration.

 “That’s pretty,” Banksy said as he leaned on the railing beside her.

 “It’s a trifling of what I can do.”

 “Is it now?” Banksy yawned and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “You looked like you were concentrating pretty hard.”

 “No I….” Makina trailed off and turned her eyes back towards the sea. “With the Winds of Winter come my power. The Power of a Spirit God waves and wanes, myself with the seasons. Even so, I am weak. Loath as I am to admit it, the Elf girl is correct, my abilities are far beneath where they should be. My time imprisoned by the Knights… It is time I will never get back. Decades that I should have spent learning under Aria, preparing... You cannot possibly understand how frustrating it is to not be in complete control of your own power.”

 “Yeah, maybe” Banksy hung his arms over the edge of the railing and relaxed his body. “Did you know I used to be something of an indentured servant? I would say slave, but that isn’t quite the right word.”

 Makina shook her head. “I did not.”

 “Yeah, I don’t talk about it much. Wasn’t really a fun time, ya know.” Banksy sighed and shook his head to dispel the bad memories. “You know why I’m telling you?”

 Makina shook her head again.

 “Because I’m free now,”  Banksy said with a small smile. “I get to use my skills any way I want. Same goes for you. If you want to become the most powerful Spirit Goddess ever, there is nothing that can stop you, cept for yourself. Got it?”

 “I…” Makina silently nodded her head, her eyes falling down and watching the Bow of the ship spilt through the water. She stayed like that for a long time before finally lifting her head up and catching Banksy’s eye. “I will. You can be sure of that. And you would do well to not forget that even at my weakest I am far more powerful than any mere mortal could ever hope to be.”

 “Wouldn’t dream of it,” Banksy said before he pushed himself back up and stretched out his arms. “Welp, I gotta go. Lots to prepare for.”

 “You’re prank war?” Makina asked. “Tell me, how is this any different than how you two usually act?

 “Oh, that’s easy.” Banksy’s smile was a little too wide. “The prank war includes everyone in the guild. That includes Cross, Lexi, and you too, now. Keep a sharp eye out, Maki.”

 Makina’s eyes narrowed as Banksy walked away laughing. “I will smite you, mortal. Guildmate or not.”

[buckybarnesappreciationsociety]

“Jade Green Eyes” Part 1

Summary: Alexia Hargrove, Class 5 mutant. She possesses the power of telepathy and  shapeshifting. Growing up with Professor Xavier at his school for “gifted” children, she learned to harness and expand her powers. Now, HYDRA’s on her trail and the Avengers want to keep her safe.

Pairings: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes x Mutant Black Reader, Alexia Hargrove (future chapters will include X-Men)

Word Count: 1,320

Warnings: Swearing, angst

A/N: I’ve never attempted to write a mutant fic, so I’m nervous. If all goes well, there will be 2 or 3 more parts. Italics denotes speaking telepathically. Comments are welcome. ENJOY!

***************************************************************************************

Alexia Hargrove’s life spiralled out of control at the tender age of 5. In kindergarten, Jimmy Watson the class bully, shoved Alexia in the mud during recess and what ensued next was, um, otherworldly? Alexia narrowed her jade green eyes and Jimmy was hurled face first into the mud, coupled with a bloody nose.

 The Hargrove’s were summoned to the Principal’s Office, where the child was reprimanded like an adult. They made a decision that day to “fix” her abnormality.

One blustery fall day, Mr. and Mrs. Hargrove received a visit from Charles Xavier and Ororo Munroe from “Xavier’s School For The Gifted.” Alexia had come across their radar via Cerebro, a machine used to locate mutants. At the end of her rope, Mrs. Hargrove didn’t flinch handing Alexia over to Charles Xavier. A deluge of tears ran down her caramel chocolate face. It saddened Alexia to think her parents didn’t want her anymore.  What she didn’t know was they weren’t her biological parents. Little Lexi was dropped off on the church steps. Since Mrs. Hargrove was barren, she stole their hearts. As her powers came to life, they became weary and wanted to get rid of her.

 With time, Alexia learned what her powers were: telekinesis  and shape shifting! Jean Grey, Raven and Scott Summers took her under their wings, instructing Alexia how to control her powers and use them for good. By age 16, she had mastered her powers and was charged with helping other youngsters with the same abilities.

 But we all know where there’s good, there’s also evil. HYDRA started sniffing around and Alexia left the confines of Xavier’s school for France. She assumed a different identity because, after all, she could be whoever she wanted to be.

 At Stark Tower, the Avengers and Nick Fury were engaged in an intense meeting. Producing files with Alexia’s background, the stoic director handed the thick manila folder to Steve. Sam in all of his cocky glory quipped, “Oh my god, would you look at her? Damn she’s fine as hell.”  

 Steve smacked him back to reality. “Calm down Sam. She’s not a piece of meat to be ogled. We’re trying to bring her in because if she stays out there any longer, HYDRA’ll snatch her  for sure. We need to focus.”

 Natasha mused, “I’ve located her in Paris. She’s assumed the identity of a preschool teacher, Emilee Sanderson at The Maison Academy.”

 “Well, there’s no time to waste. Bring her back here in one piece. But be warned, she’s extremely strong. So use caution approaching her.” As Fury turned to leave, he glanced at Cap. “I’m counting on you Cap. We don’t have time to waste.”

 Steve morphed into Captain America mode. “I’ll take Nat and Wanda with me. Wheels up in 30 minutes. Get what you need.”

 The chilled Parisian air forced Alexia to pull the collar up on her coat. A startling chill ran down her svelte body. Sensing danger, she slipped into an alley and turned into a large cat, with deadly jade green eyes. Once Natasha was close enough, Alexia pounced and the malay ensued.

 “Ow shit! Get this fucking thing off me dammit!” The stealthy assassin attempted to remove the heavy cat from her back, but not before Alexia scratched her with long claws.

 Wanda intervened using telepathy. She knew Lexi was frightened and wanted to calm her down. Catapulting off a garbage can onto the ground, Alexia morphed back into human form.

 “Hi my name is Wanda Maximoff . This is Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff. We’re part of the  Avengers. Please, we mean you no harm.”

 Alexia nodded, “I know who you are. What do you want?”

 “Can we speak so everyone else can hear it?”

 Alexia folded her arms across her chest, “TALK!”

 Steve stepped forward, “You’re in danger Ms. Hargrove. An organization called HYDRA is onto you.”

 “HYDRA was eradicated after the Washington fiasco or so I thought..”

 Steve rubbed the back of his neck, “No ma’am, HYDRA ain’t gone. As a matter of fact, they’re sniffing around for ya. We came to bring you back to Stark Tower for protection.”

 Alexia chuckled, “You do know I’m a shapeshifter or did you miss my little introduction?”

 Visibly annoyed, Natasha chided, “Look honey. Not only do they know WHO and WHERE you are, they’ve concocted serum and created a mutant stronger than you! So, that being said, your best bet would be to come with us. If you wanna remain free.”

 Wanda pleaded, “Please come with us. We can protect you.”

 “How in the hell can you protect me from someone stronger than I am? You’re joking right?”

 Walking gingerly towards her with his hands up, Steve said,  “Because Stark Tower can block any outside interference, regardless of powers.Your powers will be fine.

Looking between Wanda and Natasha, Alexia had a major decision to make.

“Please follow me to my apartment. It’s about 2 blocks from here.”

 Wanda honed in on Alexia’s mind to detect any malice. “She can be trusted.”

 Approaching Natasha, Alexia apologized. “I’m really sorry for what happened back there. My first instinct is always go on the defensive.”

 “You didn’t know  us, so all’s forgiven.”

Alexia shrugged, “I did know who you were; just didn’t know your intentions.”

  Strolling to her building, she and Wanda engaged in an unspoken conversation.

 “So, how old were you when you knew about your powers?”

“5, that’s when my parents sent me away. What about you?”

“My powers came from Loki’s staff. My brother Pietro and I volunteered with HYDRA and this is what they did to me.” Wanda motioned her hands and red tendrils formed.

“I know about your brother and I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you. I miss him so much.”

“I’m an only child, an unwanted child.” Tears pooled in her eyes.

Placing an arm around Alexia’s shoulder, Wanda conveyed, “You’re part of our family now. Dysfunctional, yes, but we make it work.”

 Alexia formed a tight smile.  Wanda’s aura made her feel calm ; Natasha on the other hand, was rough around the edges, causing Lexi to form a wall between Nat and herself. 

 Once inside, Steve laid out all the particulars to Alexia. They’d remain in Paris for a few days so she could tie up any loose ends. Her heart sank thinking about her preschool class. She’d become accustomed to greeting their smiling faces.

 Her personal possessions were meager; a few pictures of Storm, Jean, Raven, Kitty and Professor X and a silver locket with her initials on the front.

 The last day was extremely emotional. Miss LeBlanc, head mistress at The Maison Academy, bid Emilee Sanderson a fond adieu. Alexia spun a convincing story about an urgent family crisis. The portly older woman understood, embraced Emilee and wished her well.

 On the outskirts of an old airfield, Alexia boarded the quinjet. Wanda felt her apprehension and reassured her this was the right thing to do.

 Change was never easy but safely came first. She didn’t want to endanger anyone at the school or where she lived. A bitter taste rose in her mouth. In a matter of hours, Alexia would be back on U.S. soil. Her safety was in the hands of the Avengers. What could possibly  go wrong?

TAGS: @omalleysgirl22 @amrita31199 @erisjade @ajimaginingtheworld @anbanananna @irene-rogue-adler @cumonbucky @sgtjamesbuchananbarnes107th @cant-stop-the-fandoms @bolontiku @lowkeybuckytrash @supersoldierslover @caplanbuckybarnes @this-kitty-has-claws @gingerbatchwife @goody2shoessmut @mcuimxgine @goodnightwife @readerwinterbarnes  @buckywintersoldierbarnes2017 @jurassicbarnes @vvintersouldier @the-girl-without-a-face @sexylibrarian1 @papi-chulo-bucky @tatortot2701 @samuelsbucky @iamwarrenspeace @deals-with-demons @opaque-daydream @marvelous-imagining @jezzula @flirtswithdanger

Hope I didn’t forget anyone. If so, please forgive me!

[lady-stardust7-blog]

The Oldest Game: Chapter 1

Summary: On his way home from work, Gold runs into a lady of the night called Lacey. He finds himself drawn to her, and soon realises that he can't stop thinking about the young woman on the street corner, and the web of secrets she has spun.

Warnings for drug use, physical assault and mentions to sexual abuse in later chapters.

[Chapter 2: Obsession]

[read it on Ao3]

Chapter One: Blissful Solitude

Gold was content. Sure, he didn’t have the conventional life that most people craved. He didn’t have a wife, children, or any pets. Nor was he a beloved member of the community – on the contrary, the residents of Storybrooke seemed to shrink under his gaze. No, Gold didn’t have those things, but he didn’t want them. He had the two things that kept him happy: solitude and complete control.

Today, like most days, had been a good day. He had spent the morning collecting rent, giving him an excuse to intimidate as many people as he wished. He had nearly even brought a tenant to tears when he threatened to raise their rent by 10%! He’d spent the afternoon in blissful seclusion from the world outside his pawn shop, tinkering with clocks and mechanical toys. He felt accomplished with his day’s work when he locked his shop up and began his walk home in the cold winters night.

Gold often left his car at home during the winter months, as the walks were always a lot quieter. His three-piece suit and heavy coat protected him from the chill, and he was free to listen to the sound of the abandoned streets. The whistling of the wind through the bare branches were enough to intimidate most, but Gold often found that these were the times he felt the most relaxed. There wasn’t a person in sight, only silhouettes of buildings and shadows of trees, leaving him free to feel like he was the only person in the world.

He thought about what he would do with the rest of his evening. When he arrived home, he would pour himself a glass of that thirty-year-old Campbeltown whiskey, put his feet up and have a nice, long game of chess against himself. He was mentally preparing himself for which move he’d open with this time when a voice pulled him back to the earth.

“Hey, sweetie. Wanna spend some time together?”

Gold stopped walking and turned around to place the location of the voice. He found it hidden in a small gap between two buildings by the corner of the road, coming from a small girl with wearing a short black skirt and a thin, lacey top, showing off her bra underneath. Her heels added to her height but she was still a few inches shorter than his own small stature. When he looked upon her face, she raised an eyebrow at him and attempted to send him what he presumed was a seductive smirk. He rolled his eyes.

“Dearie,” he sneered. “I didn’t earn the money to buy the street you’re standing on by squandering it on the petty primal urges that you’re offering.”

And with that, he continued his route home.

***

Once he stepped through his front door he allowed the warmth to embrace him, pulling him in from the cold air. He hung his coat up and took his shoes off, and went to his cabinet to pour himself that glass of whiskey he’d been looking forward to. He took a seat at his armchair and let his mind wander back to the intriguing girl on the street corner.

She was, truthfully, a very attractive woman. Although he dismissed her almost immediately, she must have noticed the way that his eyes ran hungrily over her body. That tiny excuse for a skirt left nothing to the imagination, and that wasn’t even touching upon that practically transparent top she was wearing…

There was an undeniable tightening in his pants betraying his earlier claim about petty primal urges. He closed his eyes and brought a hand to his bulge, rubbing himself lightly to ease some of the tension as he carried on his musings on her. Thinking of those shapely but bare legs caused him to suddenly think of the weather she was standing around in. She must be freezing. Not to mention how dangerous it must be out there for a young woman at night…

Gold contemplated his options. He could continue to touch himself until he came into his hand, then forget all about her and get to that game of chess he had currently planned the first six moves of in his head. Or, he could put down that barely touched glass of whiskey, go and pick up a woman standing in the freezing cold night and invite her back to his home, where she’d be safer, warmer, and a few dollars richer.

He promptly put down his whiskey and picked up his coat and keys, deciding that she would probably appreciate a warm car to rest her legs in rather than a ten-minute walk to his house. He put his keys in the ignition and blasted on the heating, taking a dew deep breaths to give himself a chance to change his mind. This was really happening. He reversed his car out of the driveway and made his way back to her, hoping to find her before somebody else did. He soon found her in the exact spot he saw her last, rubbing the tops of her arms with her hands in a desperate attempt to warm herself up. He pulled over and opened his window.

“Perhaps I was a little hasty,” he said. She looked up and saw him, her eyebrows raising in surprised amusement when she realised it was the same man who had looked down on her not even thirty minutes before. “Hop in, my place is a lot warmer.”

She made her way to the passenger side and took the seat next to him, swinging the door shut. Gold immediately took his coat off and passed it to her, insisting that she must be cold. She wrapped it around herself like a blanket, and he chose to ignore the smug expression on her face, instead beginning the journey home.

“Have you been out there all this time?” he asked.

“Yeah. Slow night. I guess everybody would rather be sat by their warm fireplaces than out on the prowl with their dick in hand.”

Gold winced a little at that, realising the group of people he was being associated with in his actions. It went back to being silent and Gold quickly realised how much slower the ride back seemed to be taking. He racked his brain for conversation topics but for the life of him couldn’t think of anything. What is there to talk about, when both parties are aware that the encounter is purely based around sex and money?

“What’s your name?” said Gold eventually, deciding that would be a good place to start.

“Lexi.”

Gold scoffed.

“Your real name, dearie.”

“What makes you think it’s fake?”

“Well, is it?”

“Alright. My name’s Lacey. Yours?”

“Gold.”

That was all that was said before they pulled up to Gold’s house, and they remained in silence on the walk to his front door. When he turned to gesture for her to come inside, Gold realised that Lacey was looking up in awe at the size of his house and he felt a surge of masculine pride. That didn’t help, however, with the fast thumping of his heart and the guilt already forming in the pit of his stomach.

It wasn’t until they were both in his lounge that the silence broke, with Gold offering her a whiskey. She accepted, looking around the room at all his objects as if every direction was calling her whilst he poured her a glass.

“You must really get around the world,” she said with admiration. Gold passed her the glass and picked up his own that he’d abandoned earlier. He stood next to her, looking at the object to which she was referring.

“Ah, yes. Well, it is my job to collect artefacts, and I wouldn’t be a good pawnbroker if that was limited to Maine. That there is a hand carved mask created by the Babongo tribe in Gabon, you see how it has a large mouth? That represents strength,” he informed her, wondering if she was actually interested or if it was all part of the act.

He and Lacey both put their drinks to their lips, and he took a sip. When he looked back to her he realised that she’d downed hers in one and put it back on the table.

“A fine whiskey should be appreciated, not rushed,” he pointed out.

“Hmm. And what else are you planning on appreciating tonight?” she asked, her tone turning seductive as she closed the gap between them and put her arms around his neck. Gold’s mind went blank and suddenly he found his mouth painfully dry. He pulled back, taking another swig and pacing around the room.

“So, um, whereabouts do you live? I haven’t seen you around before,” said Gold, avoiding her eye contact.

“I dunno, it changes a lot. Just around I guess. Why does it matter?” Lacey seemed strangely affronted by this, but if Gold noticed then he didn’t show it.

“So you don’t have a permanent residence anywhere?” he pushed. “Why not? Rent doesn’t have to be expensive. Particularly on the block you were stood in, in fact. I daresay I could even do you a cheap deal if you prove yourself a reliable tenant. Although I would question the stability of your income…” He knew he was rambling, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. He looked up to see Lacey frowning at him and he cringed.

“You seem a little nervous,” she stated. “Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll help you relax.”

She made her way back over to him, pushing him back so that he was sat in his armchair. She took the glass of whiskey out of his hand, downing that too, and put it aside. She straddled his lap and he felt his muscles tense as she leaned closer to him, taking his earlobe between her lips.

“How, uh, long have you been in this business for?”

“Few years,” she muttered. “Who cares?”

The further this was going, the more uncomfortable Gold felt with going forward with it. Lacey pulled back so that they were looking at one another, one hand on the back of his neck and one hand on his shoulder. She moved forward, her lips moving towards his, and he quickly looked away, cutting her off before the kiss even began, and cleared his throat.

“Do your family live nearby?”

“No,” she said shortly. She slipped a hand up his shirt and he gasped, putting one of his hands over hers to hold it still.

“Is this something you can see yourself doing for the foreseeable future?”

Lacey pulled back and looked at Gold as if he were crazy.

“What’s with all the questions?” she asked. “Are you undercover or something?”

“No, I was just making conversation.”

Gold wished that he had stayed in with his hand and that unplayed game of chess, rather than with Lacey grinding against his lap like she was. Whilst he had looked at her with lust before, he felt nothing but guilt now at the prospect of paying this young and beautiful girl to pleasure him.

Lacey took both of his clenched hands from each arm of the chair and placed them on her hips. Gold thought about all of the other men that she must have done this with, all of the other men that she slept with that were disgusting old perverts. The one’s who paid her to act attracted to them, but who she must have been repulsed by. And what made him so different? She undid his belt, and was about to put her hand inside his trousers before –

“Will you stop that?” demanded Gold. He pushed her off his lap, and although it was only a gentle shove to get her off the arm chair, he regretted it immediately. She caught her balance and he looked up, seeing the fire in Lacey’s eyes as she hovered above him at his split-second moment of anger.

“What is wrong with you?” she said, angrily.

“Lacey, I-“

“Why did you even bring me back here if you’re not interested? Just so you can ask me questions about where I live and where my family are?” she shouted, and Gold found himself lost in confusion at the sudden change in mood. He stood up so that he was level with her and put out his hands to try and calm her down.

“You know, it’s illegal to have sex for money. I was paying for your time, we could just talk,” he said, somehow feeling like that would make the situation better. Lacey laughed humourlessly.

“Talking isn’t what I do.”

“Oh, but shagging strangers is?”

Gold hadn’t even processed his own words before they left his mouth, and suddenly he felt his cheek stinging. When he looked back up, he saw Lacey storming out of the room.

“Wait, Lacey,” he called, chasing after her. She didn’t turn around. “Lacey, let me pay you for coming back with me.” She stopped at that, but still didn’t turn around, as if she was torn. Gold took the opportunity to grab his wallet from his coat pocket, pulling $200 out fresh from the rent collections earlier that morning. She turned around and took the money, playing down the surprise that she felt at the large sum of cash.

And then she was gone.

Gold knew from the moment he had left to pick her up that the night would end with guilt and shame, but he didn’t think it would end like this.

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Proxy Cosmos

(An alternate reality where Alec Ryder lived, and both twins were awake during the events of Andromeda.)

Chapter Six:

Scott had always loved winter, the slow drift of snow to the Earth. The silence as flakes blanketed away the colors into stark whiteness. Where things could remain silent, untouched even if for just a little while. It was soothing him, reminding him of home and things he wished didn't have to change. For now, having her home was enough.

A gentle tug of his bun woke him from drowsy thoughts, "Little brother."

"Sister."

"Come on," she whined, "hot chocolate it ready. We need to put up the ornaments."

"But Elsee," Scott wasn't sure why he was whining, he liked it just as much, "we're twenty-one, single. Why are we putting up decorations like kids?"

"I already spiked the cocoa, Scott."

Scott sighed, "it better be strong."

The shake of her head bid him not to worry about it, as she retreated to grab their drinks. Scott stared at the empty tree in the corner of the room, the room around it naked except for a couch. The rest of the house was empty or piled high with packing boxes, the last thing to take care of before the house was sold. Elsee had talked him into spending a last Christmas there, together. Alec didn't show, but Scott knew he had to make an effort on this front. Despite how many painful memories the house dug up.

It was easier with the place almost gutted and bare, but heartbreaking in the same note.

"Here you go," Elsee interrupted for the second time, "why the long face?"

Scott shook his head; even she wasn't her usual self in this old house, "neigh."

Elsee snorted, resorting to taking a drink rather than respond. Scott mirrored her.

"Did you put any cocoa in this?"

"I had hoped it would bring out our inner child."

Scott took his turn awkwardly chuckling, before braving another gulp of the hot liquid. Elsee scooted toward the box still closed by the tree, sitting cross-legged before it. Being the shortest of the Ryder clan, she was used to handing out the ornaments rather than being the one to put them on the tree. Slowly, reverently, she opened the box- four foam snowflakes lying flat on the top.

Two white, one purple, and one blue. Four names, covered in stickers and gems that only children could appreciate. The two white snowflakes were more orderly and a little less decorated, but somehow a few decorations had snuck onto both. Elsee gently touched the white snowflake with their mother's name on it. Looking to Scott before she dared to take it out of the box.

The sap had tears in her eyes.

They were both saps.

"I'm so sorry," Scott blubbered.

"I know how you are when you are upset," Elsee murmured, "I forgive you."

"I'm sure Dad hates himself, too."

"Let's not focus on that right now, please."

To cement the turning of his attention, she placed the snowflake in his hand, his fingers smoothing the plastic pipe cleaner that served to hang the snowflake. Placing it in the center of the tree. With his father's snowflake, he debated on where to hang it. Every year it was still a fight on who got to be next to mom. Usually, it was a spirited debate or based on some silly game like rock, paper, scissors... or a chilling game of tic tac toe. He put Alec's name above Ellen's. Elsee's name came next, he put that to the left bottom corner.

"Oh, little Arden Ryder," she mused from below.

The grunt was subconscious at this point. His legal first name was not Scott, part Arden. He never liked it, likely never would. It was so easy to make fun of that he insisted he be called by his middle name.

Again overcoming the urge to rip the ornament, he put it under the right side of his mother's name. His hand empty when he returned to hang the next ornament. He lightly pushed her shoulder in the attempt to rouse her.

"I think, we should only put those up. There isn't a point in the rest, it will just make a mess," being pragmatic wasn't usual for her either. But they could always try again later. If there was a later.

"Elsee, I really think you should join us," Scott finally mumbling the thought stuck in his mind.

"Why?"

Scott huffed, fidgeted, and took a drink before he could answer, "we need you."

"I don't want to talk about this either," Elsee admitted, her hand resting on the envelope that was next in the layer. Placing that beside her revealed an old Polaroid, and rolls of film saved in a container to preserve them.

"Are you really going to make us take a picture this year?" Scott remarked, settling beside his sister.

"Only after we look at the photos, Arden."

"Ugh."

Elsee gently pulled the photos from the container, the first one a picture of their parents close in age to Scott and Elsee now. The next few were more pictures of their parents, in various poses. Usually, Alec looking slightly perturbed. The next picture was of an ultrasound, and two sets off booties resting on Ellen's large stomach and a beaming Alec. His expression turned to stress, happiness, then a level of calm with each picture that marked a passing of a year. The last picture was a little different, with a sickly looking Ellen and a worried Alec.

Decided on not lingering on the picture, Elsee leaned into Scott holding the ancient camera at arm's length. "Say cheese!"

======

Scott watched Liam throwing his weight into the punching bag, eager to throw some of his anger into something that wouldn't scream for expressing it. With each strike came a grunt, with each grunt the intensity grew pushing him harder. Soon a sheen of sweat covered his body, reflecting the harsh light of the room.

Scott must have been staring too long, as Liam sauntered up to the weight bench he had perched on.

"Ryder," accent becoming heavier in his recent effort, "want to go for a bout?"

"Sure," the words stuck awkwardly in his throat, "Liam."

The man barely threw him a look in return, ducking under the ropes of the makeshift boxing arena. Scott all the while debating if it was proper to remove his own shirt, or if the man was doing it out of sheer confidence. With the jury coming in, he decided on not removing his shirt.

Liam circled first, giving it a couple of passes before leaping in to strike recklessly. Scott parried most of the hits with little injury, used to this sort of brawling. Watching the Relays was usually a boring job with little to bother them, so they found other ways to keep amused during their long shifts. Sparring being one of the more acceptable ways to pass the time.

Liam struck fast, and without hesitation. His punches aiming high. Scott didn't want to read far into it, but he also knew when another was angry in the way they sparred. Punches aimed for the face, the little scowls, and increased aggression. With Liam, the aggression was hard to place because Scott didn't know him too well, but the little scowls set him off. The man was unusually full of jokes and smiles, and that was lacking completely at the moment.

"You're working hard," Scott's light attitude caught Liam off guard long enough to make a square hit.

"All the time," Liam wiped his mouth, "started young. The smart little kid. Got angry a lot."Liam's punch connected hard with Scott's jaw, sending him stumbling back, "side effect of giving a shit."

"Liam, what's going on?" Scott raised his arms to defend from the next volley.

"We settled an outpost, gave some people hope. Great," the words coming with fiercer punches, leaving Scott on permanent guard duty, "But things went wrong. Shots get fired, and some of our team gets hurt. Nothing wants to be friendly with us, and nobody wants to take that risk to be friendly first. Goddamn it."

"You're taking on a lot," Scott was losing ground quick, "making all of this your problem."

"It is our problem, we're not going back," the next punch connected with Scott's nose, drawing blood, "we have to make it work."

He swiped the back of his hand under his nose, "Yeah, punching me is going to do that. Do we have a problem, Kosta?" Scott returned all the anger directed at him boxing the man squarely in his cheek.

"No," Liam must have answered out of reflex, "maybe. We came here to make a new home, and all I see is crew responsible for doing that fighting." His arms raised, attempting to end the fight before both of them just got pissed off, "I know I was an only child, but my family never fought like that. The one time my mum got sick we waited by her the entire time. Seems unfair to let any of your family be left alone when they are down."

Scott tightened.

"Maybe we should have listened to Elsee and gone in unarmed, instead of hot," Liam sighed, turning his back on Ryder, "maybe things would have been different. What if they could have been our friends?"

Scott's silence seemed to fuel Liam, rather than encourage him to stop.

"I need something...familiar," the man stooped down, swiping up a water bottle and offering it to Scott, "it has to be 'home.' I won't let my new squabbling family stop that."

He took the peace offering, taking a swig out of courtesy, "have you met my dad?"

"I bet he has something that will make him soft, the scary ones always do," Liam cooed with a bit too much enthusiasm.

Scott chuckled at the prospect if he could find that thing more power to him. Even at Alec reaching his goal of finding new stars to explore he was restless, maybe even worse than ever. At this point, it was just part of the man, like his eye color.

"But seriously, come see your sister at some point," Liam clapped his shoulder, "she'd like it."

It was easier to try and forget that Elsee laid in a hospital bed, still out from reconstructive surgery. They had been lucky the strangers had let them leave without any issues. Luckier that Lexi had managed to keep her from losing the entire arm. The ball and a portion of her upper arm replaced with a prosthetic. The prosthetic wasn't the problem, but the time required in therapy from the prosthetic would complicate an awkward situation.

"Did you get him good?"

Scott needed to pay more attention to what was going on around him, being spooked so often was getting old.

"Yeah, you should see the other guy," he quipped.

Vetra released a rumbling laugh, glancing over the blood down Scott's gym clothes, "was this a bad time to bring company?"

Scott had spotted the Turian standing a few steps behind Vetra, very similar in crest shapes and coloring, but with red markings instead of purple, "I take it this is the pain in the ass little sister?"

"Watch who you call little," Sid huffed.

"I do have the high ground," Scott added, standing in the ring raising him just high enough to look over both of their heads. It was a nice feeling for once.

"Sid," it came more as a warning, "Scott. Scott, Sid."

He thrust out his hand somewhat awkwardly, but the younger Turian seemed to not mind.

Vetra grinned brightly between the two, pleased that the introductions had gone well, "I just wanted to stop so that Sid would stop harping on me to meet the Ryders."

"Vetra, I did not," Sid called out in indignation, "you wanted an excuse to-"

Vetra shooed the girl from the Nexus training room, leaving Scott alone to grin like an idiot.

[aliumisms]

tag drop - lexie grey 

headcanon  /  i skipped third grade  /  lexie visage  /  little grey  /  lexie grey asks  /  on call  /  lexie isms  /  you're in me.  you're like a disease  /  lexie musings  /  i wish i could forget you  /  lexie aesthetic  /  lexiepedia  /  lexie

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #70

“so break me down if it makes you feel right.”

if you’re a girl, do you have big hips? too big? not really. when was the last time you had alcohol? what kind? yesterday. black cherry mike's hard lemonade. girls, do you think you look good in dresses or not? some with sleeves, sure. do your parents treat you like you’re still a child? sometimes. what is the one stereotype people label you as most? i get emo a lot. i really don't care what stereotype i am. can people normally tell your mood, by your facial expression? yeah, honestly. i am SHIT at hiding my emotions. what are the initials of your last ex/ bf or gf? jar. how're you on this fine day? i'm at the tail end of a bad, bad, baaad panic attack. i went to bed crying last night and woke up a while ago; i couldn't sleep. i talked to my long-time friend jurro, who always has great advice to give me. they brought up the possibility of me having bpd (which has been brought up to me before), especially with my obvious favoritism towards jason. i read more about it, and i really think it's a liable diagnosis, and i guess that gave me some relief? i'm going to bring it up to my therapist, who i really need to see soon. describe the main problem with your last relationship? i've explained this so many times, yet i feel the need to keep fucking talking about it. the only real issue was jason not supporting me enough. by that i mean, he got tired of my depression. he didn't want to deal with it anymore. not that i blame him. i live with it and i don't want to deal with it anymore, but guess who can't leave it without destroying herself? if he truly gave a shit, it should've been the same for him. for so long, three and a half fucking years, he was there, and he did everything he could. then he just... snapped one day, i guess. so fucking sorry i'm too weak to make it on my own. what was the last thing that offended you? i'm not sure, honestly. probably something colleen said. what’s on your shower curtain? nothing. it's blank. what sounds do you hear? "alone i break" by korn is playing, and the tv's on. who was the newest addition to your family? ryder, my sister's son, is the newest, i believe. do you like muse? i like a few songs. "unnatural selection" is my SHIT. what was your first ever pet? we had a collie named trigger. she was a wonderful dog. have you ever been bit by an animal? never viciously, no. i remember once my lizard bit me when he was scared once (his light had been dead all day, so he was freezing), but it was barely even a nibble. i think i've told of the time my dog teddy bit towards me in a merely very "i'm warning you" type way. where is the person you miss the most right now? i would hope he's in bed asleep. how often do you take naps? every day, usually... typically after i'm up for an hour or less, i feel fucking exhausted and go back to sleep lol. are you planning any special outings with family or friends? not any "outings," but on saturday, the day before my birthday, mom and i are going to colleen's and i, for one, am getting drunk as fuck to forget some shit for a while. do you ever wear lipstick? what color(s) do you prefer? yes, i wear black, usually. what was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? smirnoff. it was okay. what’s your favorite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? his silly smile melts my fucking heart. the last song you listened to - does it remind you of anyone? "somebody, someone" by korn. and yeah. me. who was the last person to give you a hickey? only person to ever was jason. who was your high school’s most popular girl? that's debatable. idk. would you like to learn to play the harp? omg i always did as a child. what is the most drinks you’ve had in one night? was it five... maybe six? it was VERY weak alcohol, though. when is the last time you parked in a covered parking lot? probs when colleen, bradley, and i went to the beach last may. we had to drive through a great number of parking lots to find ONE spot. has a friend ever betrayed you? oh, you mean that time someone way more than a friend tried to lift me up, but only let go half-way in the effort? yeah. been there. is teenage pregnancy common in your area? eh, no less or more than other places, i guess. do you see the new year as a fresh start? no. do your parents own their house or is it rented? the house i live in with mom is rented. i'm almost positive dad's and kim's is owned. have you ever joined in a protest? if so, what against? no. it'd be a cold day in hell before something like a protest happened here in nc. do people ever complain that you’re too quiet? always. and i don't get why it's just that: a complaint. being quiet isn't a bad thing. do you know anyone that’s ever suffered from post natal depression? i have a friend who's suffering with it now. do you like black licorice? i don't like licorice period. do you sleep in your bra? fuck that. what would you do if someone smacked your butt? well, who's doing it and where are we? if it was jason, he'd get pinned against a damn wall while i kiss him. anyone else, with the mood i'm in, i'd slap the shit out of them. dog ever licked you down there? wHAT THE FUCK do you think you’ll be a MILF? lmao no. would you immediately look for someone right after you and your bf/gf broke up? if we were in a serious relationship, obviously not. i'd need to recover. do you sleep naked, or nearly so? no. i used to sleep without a shirt when i lived in the apartment because i was cooler, but for obvious reasons, i'm not comfortable doing that with my mother and little sister in this house. will you kiss the last person you kissed again? honestly, it'd be a dream come true. do you wish someone was dead? i wish i didn't. what is your dad’s name? kenneth, or just "ken" would you ever like to meet marilyn manson? debatable. he's one of my favorite artists, but from what i know of him, he's not a person i'd agree with on almost anything. what do you look like right now? i don't fucking know, a person?? a heavily depressed son of a bitch??? how many of your friends play world of warcraft? i did. i really don't know if i'll go back to it when i get my computer fixed. my friends sam, girt, and alex also play(ed). is your dad bald? he's not. do you remember the name of the first bar you ever went to? i've never been to a bar. have no plans to go to one, really. have you ever made a sex tape? no, and i never will. have you ever drank cough syrup to get high? no. have you ever felt yourself fainting? i have. would you ever own a rat? i've owned four: tezzeret, rhoka, rhett, and link. i may get another some day, but this time, from a breeder. would you or do you ever spank your kids?  NO. do you look pretty today? no. my eyes are red and watery, i haven't brushed my hair yet... do you feel you’re capable of being loved? no. if jason couldn't, no one can. have you ever felt lifeless? i have. many times. weirdest shit, to feel like that and still be perfectly alive. do you remember the first alcoholic drink you ever had? yeah. pink lemonade mike's hard. do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? i want jason, not necessarily anyone else. do you chew on your straws? no. do you plan on moving out within the next year? no, i don't. are you a forgiving person? too much so, usually... what is your all-time favorite romance movie? "the notebook" murders me every time. have you ever purchased condoms? i haven't, but jason bought them for us once. i got really close to leaving behind my abstinence once, and because of that, he said he did it just to be safe. we never used them, but it was a smart decision. have you ever had shower sex? no. i'm honestly not that into the idea. have you ever caught someone else watching porn? no. what size shoe are you? seven and a half, i think... have you ever sent a nude snapchat? no, i don't have a snapchat. what to you would the perfect life consist of? honestly, you could wipe out everything, and just give me jason. let us have one child to cherish beyond vocalization. and i would be happy. have you ever had a sexy skype chat? ha ha no, the only times i've ever chatted on skype with webcam was with jason, and we were ever only lazy bums in our pajamas... have you ever had a sexual gay experience?  i have not. have you ever shoplifted?  i have not. is there a guy who you can go to with no make-up on in sweatpants and bedhead and he couldn’t care less? girt, probably. jason, if he was still around. do you and your family pray before eating dinner? only on thanksgiving, really. what’s something you’ll always refuse to do? i mean, lots of things. i'd never have an abortion, get a divorce unless my spouse became violent/dangerous, various other things... what’s the best thing at mcdonald’s? i seriously like their cheeseburgers. would you ever get a tattoo of your favorite band or singer’s name? no. i plan on getting MANY lyrics tattooed on me, though. what’s your iood/mp3 player like? it's a super old, pink nano-type. it's way past its life expectancy. has a few scuffs and scratches here and there. do you own any form of a gameboy? i do; my sisters and i all had/have one. they don't all work anymore, though. what’s the best part about halloween? D E C O R A T I N G!!! do you have any pets and do you want any(more)? we have three dogs, teddy (beagle/cocker spaniel), cali (boxer mix), and bentley (jack russel mix), and one cat named lexi. i'm currently only really wanting a ball python morph, but adopting a lizard again would be nice... a rat, too... what’s the best pokemon? ninetales is the best! but i also reeeaaally like espeon and umbreon. do you play any sport? no. i haven't played sports since dance. do you watch beauty pageants? absolutely not. i disagree with their entire concept. do you like nutella? i do, very much so. are you into ripped jeans? yes. makes them appear more dynamic and interesting. which band has the best name, in your opinion? i'm not sure. none come to mind immediately... do kids often knock on your door on halloween? they never do. we live in what can barely even be considered a neighborhood, just a couple houses in the middle of the woods. have you ever witnessed an extreme act of animal cruelty? thank heavens, no. have you ever actually woken up screaming because of a nightmare? yes. i was sleeping on the recliner with jason and nearly gave him a heart attack. how many people in your family have blue eyes? idk, but not many. the only ones i know of are myself, my deceased grandpa, my half-brother, and my niece. who is your favorite actor/actress? probably betty white and johnny depp if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? i'd be a dragon, far away from human civilization so people won't want to kill me for no particular reason... are you satisfied with your gender? even if i wasn't, what would i do about it? do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? honestly depends on how close we are and my mood. have there ever been floods where you live? many. do you listen to k-pop? i never have. i have an acquaintance from high school that's like in love with it though. do you know (of) anyone who has committed suicide? i know of people, yes. most notably my sister's ex. there's potential that i know someone who has, too, as i knew her online, she was heavily suicidal, then she just vanished. do you eat meat every day? usually, typically at dinner. do you like your country’s president or prime minister? no, i don't. i agree with some of his policies, most notably his outlook on abortion, but overall, i cannot stand him. he has a horrid, childish attitude, and a relatively naive outlook on things. do you listen to christmas music during the holiday season? i don't. virginia, jason's mom, always did though. she loved the holidays and was always so expressive of her enjoyment of them all. i miss her... i hope she's doing well, too. she had a few health issues. do you like ginger ale? only when i'm ill. what color is your can of deodorant? it's baby blue. what is the middle name of the last person you texted? marie how far do you live from the ocean? ehhh, like three hours, probably less. are you a fan of eminem? he's the only rapper i'd consider myself a fan of. he actually sings about shit that matters on a regular basis. do you wear a ring on your finger? i have a ruby/garnet/whatever on my right ring finger, and i want to fix the ring jason gave me to wear on my left pointer finger... but it's in a box somewhere. i had it in the jewelry box he bought me, but most of our shit's been packed up from when we were threatened with eviction, and personally i don't feel like going through dozens of boxes. do you like the song ‘i kissed a girl’ by katy perry? i'll admit it's catchy and reminds me of when i was younger. the last person you kissed, is he/she single now? last i checked, no. how many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? hundreds of times. does it bother you when people smoke around you? honestly, yes. but i don't say anything. ever kissed a smoker? no, and i highly doubt i ever will. a smoker has kissed me, though. do you know anyone who has their eyebrow pierced? a former friend did when did you last talk to your brother or sister? i couldn't tell you. ashley doesn't live here and nicole doesn't say a word to me unless she needs something or if i initiate conversation. do you prefer regular bacon or turkey bacon? regular bacon would you ever buy a motorcycle? no. too dangerous. most attractive singer/s of your opposite gender? james hetfield of metallica like fuck me he could be my daddy in more than one way can insanity bring on more creativity? it does, but it's not something i'd advise pursuing. basic question; what's your favorite color/colors? maroon. where is your mom? she's currently at mrs. ricks' house, a patient she takes care of. have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? with jason, hundreds of times. how long until your next birthday?  four days!! ;v; favorite thing to do on tumblr? see what gay shit is going down in the r&l community. have you ever experienced being hysterical? it's a familiar feeling. have you ever ridden a boat? i have. has anyone ever threatened to hurt you? what did you do?   yes, by a lovely little bitch named rachel.  and when things truly escalated, i told my mother.  call me a tattle-tail for it, but i wasn't an adult at the time.  we were both teenagers.  mom was so pissed that she confronted her father about the issue (she knew where she lived because my older sister has a history with the bitch, too...), and while he spoke to rachel supposedly, he didn't seem to give a shit.  the behavior stopped, though. have you ever seen someone’s personality change completely in a manner of minutes? what was it like?   no, thankfully. do you tend to expect the best or the worst of people?   the worst.  i have no reason to behave otherwise. what color are your pants?   mostly black, but there's also a graphic of classic harley quinn with "hey, puddin'" written beneath her.  tbh i usually wore these if i wanted attention from jason lmao kill me. any turn ons?   whispering, neck kisses/bites, very gentle choking, gentle touching in general, other things i'm just not thinking of right now... what's your cover photo on facebook?   it's a picture of jason and me from our second prom.  we're smiling at each other. any turn offs?   bad hygiene, being rough, being violent, etc... most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)?   jason's humility and him softening as a person in general. are you more of an independent person or dependent person?   i'm honestly extremely dependent. are you usually the first to forgive in a fight?   it sure seems that way. do you prefer boys to shave down there?   i don't care.  do what makes him feel more comfortable in himself. do you think it’s appropriate to keep naked pictures of an ex, or should you delete them when you break up?   it definitely does sound appropriate to have naked pictures. would you ever get a back tattoo?   i already have one planned for along my spine: "once upon a time, i ripped the wings from my spine, but when i hide inside your eyes, i still pretend that i can fly."  it's one of my favorite lyrics from otep. favorite kind of bean? kidney? black? pinto?   i absolutely hate beans. when you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into?   keeping my husband happy, preparing for children, etc... do you have photoshop? if so, how often a day do you use it?   i had to have it for school.  i like... never use it. wonder woman or cat woman?   cat woman. would you like other people to see your survey answers?   i'm neutral.  like i guess it helps when people wanna talk/give me advice from their unique perspective, but i don't want people to bother with me? do you often feel guilty?
   i fucking always do.  about everything. have you ever had a serious mental break down?   you know, like, every week. how long was your longest relationship?   three and a half years did you ever honestly believe you were going to marry your high school boyfriend/girlfriend?   yes.  i did.  i still refuse to believe i won't.  he was my favorite person, and still is.  but what happens when you're breaking down your fp, entirely inadvertently, while they're building you up?  ka-boom.  i guess that's just what i did to him. are you a virgin? do you believe virginity is “sacred”?   i am, and yes, it is.  i refuse to just give it up to any 'ole body. what’s a song you recently discovered that you want to tell everyone about?   "breakdown" by seether.  i wonder  if it's how jason feels towards me. does the last person you kissed have freckles?   no, he doesn't. assuming you’re in love or have been in love before, how does or did it make you feel?   on top of the world.  that first realization that i was in love with him... it was like being born again.  but in a new dimension.  stick with me here.  i was in a new world where nothing could hurt me, because he was my shield, and i was also his.  we were one.  partners.  two names, one soul.  he was the reason i could rest, because his eyes were open while i slept.  i could reveal myself to him, because his heart and mind were opened.  he took all that shit and crushed it beneath his heel, though, so i guess it doesn't really matter. in school, what subjects did you achieve your highest grades in?   usually english or science. what’s the age difference between yourself and your best friend?   less than a year. has someone close to you ever told you they were going to commit suicide because of you?   oh my god, no.  i'd die. do you like opossums? do you think it is ethically right for others to keep opossums as pets?   i LOVE opossums!  they're so cute!  as for if it's ethically right to keep them as pets, i'm honestly not sure as i'm not well-educated on what they would require as a house animal.  i mean i certainly wouldn't agree with someone taking them out of their natural habitat to be a pet, but i guess i'd be fine with someone raising an abandoned opossum baby, so long they gave them the care necessary. what is your favorite unhealthy drink that you like to consume (if you have one, that is)?   mountain dew, the voltage variety being my favorite.  i know it's wiiiildly bad for you, but omg i love it. what are your thoughts on nihilism?   it's rather sad, and can also be so dangerous if you truly believe nothing has meaning/nothing matters. when and where was the last time you were or felt lost?   daily???  i haven't mentally felt like i'm "home" for a long, loooong time. has a tree ever fallen down on your house? 
  two or three times, lmao.  oh wait no, one of those times is where it fell on the propane tank beside our house (it didn't explode, it was literally inches from the top of it, though).  the only time i clearly remember a tree falling on the house is when the tree collapsed literally on top of my room, and i slept through it.  dad had to saw the tree multiple times to get it off the house, and we had to get some leaks patched. do you know anyone that actually looks good wearing bright red lip stick?   i don't think i look too bad with it. if you were poor, living on the streets, & had no family to aid you, would you take up a job offer to work in a slaughterhouse?   i... maybe.  living on the streets has to be a literal nightmare, so i doubt a slaughterhouse would be much worse... but killing animals, i would literally cry on a daily basis.  i don't know if i could do it. do you feel sorry for the people who get killed by their pets [some people own / tend to monkeys, tigers, lions, snakes, etc. & get killed by them] or do you think they had it coming?   i mean i would never not feel sorry for someone who died, but at the same time, i would agree it to be foolish to keep a dangerous animal. whose facebook password do you have?   no one's but my own. have you ever wanted to strip naked in front of someone?   and i did. how often do you go to church?   i try to go with colleen every weekend now.  she's just been really sick lately, so we haven't been going. speaking of church, are you going to heaven or hell?   ... i don't know anymore.  like, i accept jesus as my lord and savior, etc., but i feel so wicked sometimes.  like... i wish death upon someone i don't know.  i love someone more than i do god and jesus.  i've been furious with god lately.  heaven probably doesn't want me. would you date/hook up with your brother’s best friend?   no, he'd be too old for me personally. have you ever wondered what it’s like to have sex on a trampoline?   well.  hot damn.  there's another one on my bucket list lmao. what is the weirdest music video you’ve ever seen?   hmm.  not sure. what is something of which you need more in your life?   social interaction.  i'm an introvert and all, but i don't have enough company throughout my days. do you enjoy talking about music with others?   YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS I WILL TALK FOR HOURS what are the color of your walls? do you want to repaint?   boring white/beige/whatever.  i'd like to repaint, sure, but this house is rented, not owned, so we can't. do you have any siblings who neglect you?   ... i feel that way, yeah.  my older half-siblings i don't feel that way, 'cuz they live forever away and have busy, adult lives, and even ashley is very busy, but nicole, who lives with me... i feel like she doesn't care.  she's never home and acts like she lives with her good-for-nothing boyfriend, and when she is here, she doesn't talk to me.  doesn't look at me.  never says a word to me, even when she knows i need comfort.  she doesn't interact with me period unless i initiate conversation.  i just.  feel like when she/me/we move out, we'll never talk again.  i don't want to lose my little sister. what were the last three movies you watched in theaters?   "trolls," "the jungle book," and uhhh... i'm not sure. do you believe in ghosts, spirits or demons?   spirits/ghosts/whatever have you, demons, and angels. did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls?   until the news of a dirty syringe being found in a local one, yes. are you attracted to the last person that kissed you?   i am.  when i first met him, i thought he looked "odd," and he does look rather different, but i honestly believe him to be handsome. what did you do yesterday?   not much at all...  sat on the computer.  talked to a couple online friends.  talked with colleen.  cried a lot. something you really want right now?   honestly all i want is to cuddle with j right now.  underneath a big, fleecy blanket, and just watch our old, favorite shows. do you look more like your mom or your dad?   debatable.  i've heard both. describe your looks to us:   i am 5'4'', white and very pale, overweight with my weight pretty evenly distributed, i have lithe hands with long fingers and very small toes.  i have blue eyes that sometimes look more greenish or grayish.  my ears are pierced multiple times, as well as my nose.  i have three tattoos.  my hair just reaches my breasts and is ruby-red in coloration.  how i dress varies greatly. could you forgive a boyfriend or friend who physically hurt you?   no, fuck you. are you afraid of death?   i am.  i'm most concerned about how badly it'll hurt/how i'll die. do you think you’ll be one of those people that will get a divorce in the future?   no, because i'd literally refuse to leave my spouse unless he became dangerous. last person you kissed on the lips said that you were the only one they wanted, would you believe them?   if he leaves his current girlfriend, sure. are thongs sexy?   not to me... but then again, i'm not attracted to feminine garb. is penetration important to you?   considering i was fine doing purely foreplay with jason/having no penal-vaginal penetration, no, it's not very important. what is your sexuality?   i am heterosexual, but have some asexual tendencies, ex. i am not physically attracted to male genitalia. do you prefer long or short hair on the opposite sex?   long is fucking sexy. would you rather have 10 siblings or be an only?   ten.  that'd be cool. what is your opinion on legalizing drugs?   it's fucking stupid to even mildly consider it.  i know a lot of people think it will lessen crime with drugs, but ha, i HIGHLY doubt it.  besides that, why legalize something dangerous?  murder's wrong, should we legalize that shit, too?  and i mean, we already have enough controversy over things like cigarettes and alcohol, two very dangerous things, why add another to the mix? do you drink coffee on a regular basis?   no, i hate coffee. do you like country music?   no, i don't.  it's very rare that once in a while i'll hear a song i like, but it's seldom. are you afraid of black cats?   not at all. do you watch the lightning during storms?   omgggg yes what is the weirdest thing you have ever done with a crush or significant other?   i guess you could consider borderline fucking on a chaise in the open living room "weird?"  but shit was fun. do you shave your arms even though it supposedly grows back thick?   i shave my underarms, not my arms. do you ever get too lazy to clean up your pet’s pee and leave it for your parents to do it?   no, if teddy pees, i clean it up. what insects or bugs do you fear most?   rhinoceros beetles are fucking terrifying, praying mantises are kinda scary... i also just don't like beetles in general. do you think weed is just as bad as cigarettes?   it's worse.  it's been proven to have more carcinogens. who taught you to drive, and were you happy with their approach?   my driver's ed teacher was mr... cone, i think?  he was fine.  besides him, mom taught me to drive, and she was waaaay too strict/yelled a lot. do you get seasick or carsick?   carsick, no.  seasick, i'm not entirely sure.  i've only been on a boat on the ocean once, and it was my anxiety that nearly made me puke. is sex on your mind more than 3 times a day?   lately, yeah. do you like it up against the wall?   errr, i'm going to just go along with this.  i wouldn't know, never tried, but sounds fun. are you smiling?   lmao what do you think, i just sit at my computer smiling like a madman all day? what has been the most traumatic experience of your life? does it still bother you?   by far, jason leaving me.  and obviously, as i've been diagnosed with ptsd because of it. was your last kiss drunk or sober?   i've never kissed someone while drunk, so. have your lips ever gone numb from kissing?   lmao, that's possible?  i've kissed for hours on end and have never experienced that. why did you first kiss the last person you kissed?   because i really liked him.  why else? are monday mornings the hardest mornings to wake up to?   no no no, new gmm!! do you want to know the date of your death?   absolutely not. have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up?   no. do you wear hair extensions?   nah. do you wear eyeliner?   if i ever wear makeup, yes, i always do. do either of your parents have tattoos?   neither do.  mom wants one, though. your phone is ringing. it’s your ex. what do you say?   "hi, sweetheart." what is your natural hair color?   i was born dirty blonde, but it turned brown with age. is your dream job attainable?   realistically, for me, no.  i'd like to be a meerkat biologist, but i'm not moving to africa. have you ever been to a drive-in theatre?   no, but that'd be soooo fun! :( what moment in your life have you been most scared?   those first moments after jason told me it was over.  the moment i told mom, "jason broke up with me," because it was my true acknowledgment that it was over.  can you imagine how it'd feel like to be skinned alive?  to have all your flesh ripped away, leaving you bare and vulnerable?  that's what it felt like. do movies such as ‘saw’ and ‘the grudge’ scare you easily?   "the grudge" is a fucking awesome movie (think i've only seen the second, tho), but i'm not a "saw" fan.  i just... eh, they're too bloody.  to an exaggerated degree.  and i don't like seeing people so scared. do you have an ipod? how many songs are on it?   yes, and over 1,000.  i sometimes have to delete songs to make room for more. how do you get to school?   i'm not in school anymore, but when i was, mom always drove me there. would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness?   i don't really want to adopt period, but i don't know if hypothetically i would, but merely for the child's own well-being.  i am seriously mentally ill, and because of this, i don't really know if i'm capable of raising said child in a completely healthy environment. gas prices...first thought?   lower than they used to be, at least.  i remember when they were over $4.00 favorite non sexual thing to do with girl/boy?   play two-player video games together. :D

[xjhhfwejr]

9 ladies dancing

Riku hadn't exactly been able to afford the best seats in the house, in the end -- and in fact, to be more specific, he hadn't been able to afford any at all. De' loved him for many reasons, but his ability to procure tickets to a sold-out concert wasn't too high on the list, luckily for him.

They sat half-way up a hill on a tartan blanket instead, far enough away that the only way they'd see a thing was with binoculars. Her attentive boyfriend had thoughtfully packed these, along with a gourmet meal (if you were into street cheese and crackers, with off-brand jelly cups for dessert), and the perfect accompaniment in wine form (sparkling grape juice, since De' didn't drink and he had to drive) and then a second blanket, in case she got tired of looking at the first one.

It was the middle of the summer so that was the only reason she could think of for why there would be two, but she knew he wasn't nearly as stupid as her brother assumed, and kept one eye on him in case he had any mischief planned.

Yes, that was why she kept staring at him. For mischief-avoiding purposes.

"Well?" Riku prompted, sprawled on his back and propped up on his elbows; he turned his head just enough to meet her gaze, just so painfully smug about the entire thing. "How'd I do?"

De' grinned and sipped her drink, stalling, relishing the way it fizzed on her tongue but swallow before it went flat. She could abide many things, but flat soda had never been one of them -- it was practically an affront to humanity, as anyone with half a brain would attest.

"It's okay," she allowed. "But I'm not sure about the colour of the blanket."

"I would have preferred green to bring out your eyes," he agreed readily, his ego only swelling as her cheeks flushed, even if he didn't bring it to her attention. "But they were all sold out."

"Such terrible planning," De' lamented, shaking her head.

"I'm truly ashamed."

"My birthday -- ruined!"

"Alas, if I had only thought ahead!" Riku cried, the back of one hand pressed to his forehead. She snorted, forgetting the drink in her hand as she did and almost choking on it. He hesitated, leaning towards her in concern. "Geez, De', I wasn't trying to kill you -- are you okay?"

"I'm sure if you were," she wheezed, placing the cup aside after due consideration. "I would already be dead."

Could Riku fail at anything, even if he tried to? The jury was still out, but she found it hard to believe.

"I'd never hurt you," he protested, not exactly trying to argue when she laid out beside him, rolling onto her side so she could rest her head on his chest. He slid an arm around her shoulders, making no attempt to worm his fingers to meet bare flesh, even if she kind of wished he would. "I mean, if only I had planned something special for today, you might believe how much I care for you, huh?"

"A concert?" the brunette suggested, her stomach doing the little flip-flop it always did when Riku declared his affections.

"It would have to be an important one," he mused, eyeing the distant stage. "Not just a normal date, you know, because everyone and their dog can go to those."

De' liked dogs. Maybe when they got married they could adopt -- he seemed a bit nervous around the big ones, but she knew him too well to fall for that act. He'd barely been able to let go of the one Lexi had taken dog-walking the week before.

"It would have to be secluded," De' agreed, aloud.

"Romantic."

"I might even be so bold as to recommend romantically secluded."

"A controversial stance," Riku uttered gravely. "The alternative, of course, being stuck inside in the midst of a thousand sweaty bodies."

"If only you had thought ahead," De' sighed. "Maybe then I could have forgiven the blanket, and believed your sweet words."

"Next time I'll think of something," he promised, pressing her harder against his side. "But for now, I'll just have to keep repeating myself."

De' grinned.

"Well," she allowed. "I guess it's better than nothing."

And what the lady wanted, the lady got -- her birthday only came around once a year, after all.

---

The concert started late as they tended to do, but they found ways to entertain themselves -- De', for example, dozed. She would deny it until the end of time itself in case Riku thought that meant she had been bored, but it had been such a long day of celebrating how amazing she was and then she was warm and comfy, and Riku's heart went thump-thump against her cheek, and before she knew it...

Before she knew it was gone and she was dumped uncereminously -- definitely dumped, not gently laid -- on the blanket, two inches below. She yelped and jerked upright, and Riku looked at her in surprise.

There was a beat of silence. It was possible, she had to admit, she had rolled over in her sleep.

"Look," he remarked, choosing not to dwell on this embarrassment. "Something's happening."

She rubbed her eyes and squinted over at the stage, trying to make out anything at all. The spotlights were roaming back and forth across the stage, and there was a charge in the air like music felt more than heard; the ground beneath them began to vibrate faintly, and all at once, De's excitement got the better of her. She didn't even notice the binoculars being pressed into her hand until she was peering through them, squealing quietly, leaning forwards as if that was going to improve her view any -- if it worked for video games, why not real life? That was the logical conclusion.

The lights jerked to a stop in the mdidle of the stage, illuminating the spot to a painful brightness, and--

The roar the crowd gave was audible even from where they sat, and the thumping intensified. De' made her own kind of sound, clutching the binoculars so tightly her knuckles turned white; Riku would have been jealous at her reaction if he wasn't so confident she only had eyes for him, and besides, even he couldn't deny her on her birthday. Even this he offered willingly, and his heart pitter-pattered at the sight of her so happy.

Except then the guy came onto the stage and he heard the shrieking, and it wasn't like he was jealous but maybe he could be allowed a little jealousy, if the unthinkable happened. He grabbed the wine bottle and jumped to his feet, turning away from her so he could look back over his shoulder with a dramatic smoulder -- it was pretty easy to tell what song they were leading with even if they all sounded the same by the beat of the thumps, because there was only the one that anyone was really there for. He took a breath in preparation.

De' wanted to pay attention to the concert, she really, really did. Tickets had been sold out for months before she even knew the band existed, for almost a year beforehand since the worldwide tour was announced, and there was no hope of getting in -- this was closer than she had ever expected to be, and it would be a crime to waste the opportunity.

All the same, her eyes slid to Riku, even as she reminded herself that she shouldn't just toss away his gift so callously. He just smouldered so well that her knees went weak and she knew she would collapse if she tried to stand up, so it was a good thing she wasn't going to have to while he was staring at her like that.

"Sit down," she snorted, waving a hand at the blanket beside her and not lowering the binoculars, even though she wasn't looking through them anymore. "I can't see the stage."

It was right there in plain view, and he wasn't blocking it in the least. Riku smouldered harder, and she groaned.

"You're being ridiculous."

"Am I?" he growled in challenge, dramatic and all the more attractive for playing to his audience. "Can you really just ignore the love we share?"

"Riku!"

"Because, you know..."

"You're talking over my favourite part! Shhhh!"

"You gotta know, De', you are..."

Below them the song kicked into high gear as the vocalist hit the chorus, but De' still hadn't found it in her to tear her eyes away from Riku, and her laughter somewhat dampened the severity of her glower -- he gave her a few more seconds to lose interest but she hadn't done that in the last six months so why would she try now. She was so focused on him that his superiority over barely-real celebrities was clearly proven, and it was be kind of unfair to push her goodwill further and demand even more attention.

"Rikuuuuuu," she moaned, and he knew he really should stop.

So naturally, he did the complete opposite. They couldn't hear the lyrics from so far away but they could feel the beat, and he sung along with it, smouldering and serious.

"...the sugar to my coffee soul!"

"Those aren't the words!" She snorted, waving her hands. "He sings in Korean!"

"Something something, cheerful meerkat, something!"

Okay, so maybe singing was a bit of an exaggeration -- he certainly could when he put his mind to it, but he was a little distracted trying to be entertaining, and the former point was being lost to the void. If anyone heard him right then, he'd never hear the end f it.

"Riku, I swear to God..."

It was hard to take her seriously now she was lying down again, wheezing in air and holding her sides, as if that could stop the hysterical laughter at the sight of her normally so composed boyfriend forgetting how to be even remotely cool.

"Something beautiful baaaaasement, something!"

"It's the instrumental!" She was in outright tears then and he could barely make out her words, but he chose to believe that her amusement came from the lyrics and not from his voice.

"Oh Deeeeeeeeeee', my delightful brussel sprout!"

Riku finished the last verse on a flourish, dropping to one knee and throwing his arms out wide as he bowed his head. He could accept her hysterical laughter in place of applause and her presence in place of roses tosed at his feet -- but only because it was her birthday, and it was tradition to offer special treatment.

"That was amazing," De' almost wept, but in the way something was a bad kind of amazing. Even this was acceptable -- living with Lucifer meant she had to know bad singing when she heard it, and Riku had just blown her brother out of the water by that expression. "Honestly, if someone had told me I'd end the day being compared to a brussel sprout, I don't think I could have believed them."

"I try to keep things interesting," Riku allowed graciously, and waggled his eyebrows. "But does this mean you forgive me for the cheap seats?"

For no reason at all that sent De' into a new bout of hysterics -- she tried to protest, to argue with him, but the laughter won and she collapsed, eyes squeezed shut. When she managed to open them again -- still lying down, still holding her ribs -- her boyfriend was right in front of her face, eye crossed and tongue poking out. She didn't even had time to shove him back before he stole a kiss and that was hilarious too; she chortled against his lips, rolling onto her back, and he grinned as he rolled with her.

She squirmed up against him, demanding closeness despite the heat, and he wasn't about to say no. Her shuddering shoulders were a faint massage to his bruised ego.

"Aren't you going to ask me to dance?" De' demanded suddenly, lifting her head. The laughter was gone, even when he raised his eyebrows in silent question.

"No," Riku told her. "The deal was dinner and a show -- no dancing involved."

"I don't remember agreeing to this."

"Of course you dont." He grinned proudly, brushing her hair out of her face. "You would have argued for the lot, which is why you weren't invited to the negotiations."

Very slowly, not blinking, De' reached out and boop!'d the tip of his nose. Riku sneezed.

"I should always be invited to all negotiations," she informed him, rather mildly.

"I do apologize," he drawled, waiting to see where she was going with this train of thought.

And where she was going was... precisely nowhere. She curled up against his side, and he gave her a look -- all exaggerated suspicion and dramatic uncertainty -- and settled back into a more comfortable position.

If she fell asleep, he decided, he was going to disown her. If she fell asleep, he was never going to put this much effort into an outing again. If she fell asleep, he...

...was going to do nothing and bask in the sounds of her steady breathing, because otherwise he was going to have to get annoyed right that instant, and he just couldn't bare the thought. Riku sighed -- but only to himself, under his breath, in case he disturbed her slumber.

After all it was her birthday, and the birthday girl got whatever she wanted -- even if that was, at the time, a lazy nap.

Things could be worse.

[nothisis-ridiculous]

Proxy Cosmos

(An alternate reality where Alec Ryder lived, and both twins were awake during the events of Andromeda.)

Chapter Four:

"If you're trying to hide, I don't think you're doing a great job."

Scott looked up at the Turian, regarding her with a soft smile. He remembered meeting Vetra, but had little time to get to her know her in the whirl of events since boarding the Tempest. Most of the drama had been utterly the fault of his family. Scott wished that he was more surprised.

"Yeah, I'm trying the broody act," Scott felt a smile curl a corner of his lip, "but I gave up halfway there."

"I don't know, seems pretty broody to me."

He chuckled. But now came the silence, he didn't want it, but it permeated the space between them. It wasn't for any particular kind of company, and certainly not for the physical kind of attention. He just craved the basic kind of affection from another being that was not a part of his family. Or someone not involved in that craziness. He wasn't open like Elsee, or gruff enough to prefer his own company like his Dad.

Vetra's mandibles vibrated, and as if sensing his need she sat down beside him. Long arms hanging over her knees. For several minutes they sat silently, breathing syncing together slowly.

"Isn't family a pain in the ass, sometimes?" Vetra spoke softly.

"Literally," Scott smirked, leaning his head against the metal wall, "do you have any family of your own?"

"Yeah, a little sister...Sid. Brought her with me."

"She a pain in the ass?"

"Major pain in the ass," Vetra smirked.

"I always wished I could be the older sibling; you get so much crap being the youngest. I watched you pick your nose; I watched you shake a turd out of your pants camping one year."

Vetra chuckled, "the whining is not worth it. I'm hungry; I had an accident. I'm bored. And oh, the crying. All the crying."

Scott's laughter fell a little short, his attention returning to the darkened window of the med clinic. Dad was fine; he would recover with sufficient meds and rest, but that didn't make it any easier. Or perhaps it was everything, this entire shitty mess, starting to collapse on him. Now that the fires had stopped popping up, the calm allowed him to think rather than to simply react. It weighed on him, weighed on everyone on the Pathfinder's team heavily.

"How did you hear of the Andromeda Initiative?" simple questions might keep her there longer.

"Short answer? Kesh," the turian's rumbling voice recalled the memory with pride, "She was looking for some experimental ship mods, and I knew how to track them down. I thought it was a one time deal, but she came back. Once, twice... eventually I figured out something was going on. Something big, with creds behind it," Vetra paused, looking out into the hallway like it had been just moments ago, "I asked, and she told me about the initiative. New galaxy, new home- couldn't pass that up."

"Wow, that's some laser will."

"Yeah? Was it too much? Some people get intimidated," Vetra purred.

"We need that sort of drive," Scott kept it cool, "I just hope I can keep up."

"You'll keep up. And I promise I won't tell if you don't," the Turian got up from the floor.

"If you didn't just big sister me," Scott teased.

She huffed, offering out her claw, "Come on, 'little' Scott. I know something that might cheer you up."

======

Kallo pushed against Suvi, who in turn tried not to crowd Cora who waited in the doorway of the crew quarters. Gil, Liam, Vetra and Scott waited in the corridor, just out of reach of the sensor that would open the kitchen door. Lexi pretended not to be involved in the scene quietly happening outside her door, but she was just as interested. Even Alec's attention turned to the gathering groups.

"It smells sooo good," Suvi whined with a growl of her stomach.

"I want to eat it, even if it would kill me," Vetra agreed.

"You will not eat the human food, Vetra!" Lexi warned.

Gil smirked, "I'm going to savor it slowly for you Vetra."

"Who brought spices with them to Andromeda?" Cora asked, pretending to be focused on anything other than the smell of food.

"That would be Elsee," Scott snickered.

"The things I could get from that collection," Vetra murmured.

"Vetra, you can't. This smell, I cannot forget it," Kallo added in an appalled tone, "ever."

"Hopefully it's as good as it-"

"Ooof!" Elsee squeaked, suddenly running into the crowds gathering just outside the galley. She had shooed away a curious hand or two, but not the entire crew.

They grinned, each with differing amounts of guilt. Cora stumbled forward as one of the two behind her pushed. Elsee twirled, keeping the covered pot safely from crashing.

"Well," Elsee started slowly, gaining a smile, "we can all eat upstairs together. If, if you guys would like to."

"I'm up for it!" Gil volunteered first. The rest agreed with him.

Elsee beamed, "Good, Cora if you would grab the large silver pan in the oven. Watch it; it's hot. Vetra if you wouldn't mind the small silver pan also in the oven. Suvi, if you'd grab the white one, also in the oven." Her first commands came sheepishly, but her confidence grew as each member agreed to their task, "Kallo, if you would be a dear and get the plates at the top of the cupboard. Gil and Scott, can you manage silverware? Including two spatulas, and two serving spoons. Liam, something to drink? Oh, Lexi, if you would grab the pan still on the element."

Scott and Gil battled over how many pieces were needed, and who would carry what. Much to nobody's surprise it ended in a duel of cutlery to the upper meeting room. Kallo remarked about how useful his height was, and the females took to their task with little shenanigans between them. Vetra seemed to be off put but wasn't going to ruin the fun.

Elsee barely made it out ahead of Liam who was juggling the drinks.

The team had arranged the meal around the different displays on the central round table. They waited patiently for Elsee to set down the bulky container before they dared to think about approaching the food.

"Alright, guys," Elsee cleared her throat, "the menu for tonight is Chicken flavored with my special, secret seasoning," which sounded horribly dirty, "a buttered pea and lettuce bake, and garlic mashed potatoes. Vetra, dextro-friendly food is in the smaller pans, turian-chicken, and appropriate vegetables."

Vetra pepped up immediately.

"And on behalf of the good doctor, I must remind you all to eat a healthy portion of veggies, without just focusing on the potatoes. And also for the rest of us to avoid Vetra's portions," Elsee's glibness earning a smile from the doctor.

Cora started the line, muscling her way passed the rest of the rowdy crowd- Suvi who stayed on her coat tails was next. Gil, Liam, Lexi, then Scott made it up front next. Kallo urged Elsee to go before him, and Vetra unworried about getting enough food was fine with filling in last. After each got a plate they sat on the couch, with some taking the floor so that they did not need to be far from the rest of the group.

Elsee parked herself in the middle of the floor, waiting for everyone else's reactions.

"What is in your super secret seasoning?" The engineer asked with a raised eyebrow, double entrada fully intended.

Elsee made a face at Gil, "None of your beeswax."

"Not even a hint?" Suvi prodded.

"Fine, basil and rosemary are two ingredients of the blend," she answered with a smirk.

"Where did you learn to cook, and flavor dextro foods?" Vetra commandeered the conversation after a few moments of silence.

"We had a few Quarians on pilgrimage at one of our dig sites, and a Turian from time to time. I even bought food neutralizers so I could test the recipes out myself."

"Nerd," her brother accused.

"Careful, Scott, tormenting the cook still trumps annoying the doctor," threatened the asari with a point of her fork.

"Where does the pilot fit in that list?"

"Oh come one, how about the engineer?"

"You'd all having nothing without the requestion officer!"

Any debate in the room ended as the boss entered the meeting lounge, all attention immediately turned to him. Waiting to see if he disapproved of an unauthorized use of the meeting area. Alec's eyes wandered the room, his jaw clenching. The Ryder twins jumped to their feet, Elsee taking the lead. But before her mouth opened his hand waved to dispel the words, taking up the last plate. The twins returned to their seat, but the conversation did not.

Alec leaned against the consoles, brown eyes focusing on his daughter, "So what happened on Eos?"

"N-nothing that I didn't report," Elsee stammered.

"I mean," the man sighed, "how was it? How was activating the vault?"

"It was great, scary, but great," she was fumbling, grasping at something to discuss, "I just wonder why they would program a death cloud to chase the person trying to fix the planet."

"That is curious if they had meant to inhabit the world I wonder why they would secure it in a way that required running away from the vault on activation."

"Unless they were that worried about having someone to protect if from, perhaps someone... or something had tried to use their technology against them?" More answers at this point would be helpful, but it all came with more questions.

"That is a good point, the Milky Way can't be the only place where the locals like to fight each other," Alec's smile crept across his face, relaxing the rest of the crew into eating.

"I'm just surprised we haven't found anyone else, other than the machines after all Eos was at least survivable with the right protection from radiation," she mused, "the flora and fauna still seemed to be active enough."

"Or perhaps we came after an extinction event."

"You think the Nexus will let us borrow a drill?"

"Leave that to the colonists," Alec countered with a full smile. Enjoying his first taste of food. His daughter had learned well from her mother; it was just painful to mention. The familiar dish leaving him feeling less empty than he thought. Had that been the last time they had all enjoyed a meal together? "Just for now, we can be curious once we are completely established."

"To escaping a death bubble!" Vetra began.

"To not dying," Liam added.

"To excellent food," cheered Lexi.

The rest agreed with the doctor, with one notable person simply raising a glass.

"I think Elsee here should be designated cook," Gil looked over the empty pans, "this puts my best dish to shame."

"I'm sure I can find more contraband spices," Vetra hummed.

"I have some nice Salarian dishes I think the crew would enjoy."

"Not if it involves bug, Kallo," Cora teased, "I don't think she could even make that taste good."

"That's very r-"

Suvi cut off the Salarian, "say you can bake too?"

"I think it needs less baking soda," Scott's words drew an eye roll from his sister and a bemused smirk from Alec.

"Har, har, Scott," Her eyes wandered to Liam, who still said nothing. She glanced away, pretending not to make awkward eye contact with the Turian that sat next to him.

The crew returned to conversation in various groups between themselves. Alec mostly questioned Elsee who was at ease answering his questions and sharing theories with him. Scott urged himself to look away, and focus on his plate. Still not finding his place in this group. He didn't want to end the rare bonding between Father and Daughter as they discussed the potential of their discoveries on the Heleus cluster. They would never see it, but they shared a fair amount in common. When they weren't busy egging each other on about something asinine.

Vetra leaned into Liam, "Say something nice, stupid."

"Just like mum's cooking," Liam blurted into a crowd that had long since changed subjects, Vetra pinched him for good measure, "thank you for the meal, El."

The crew regarded him curiously, and Elsee colored. Scott glanced between the two, and Alec glared fiercely at the man.

"I'll, uh, I'll gather plates and start cleaning up then," Liam bound from his seat, yanking the empty plate away from Vetra.

[aliumisms]

tag drop  /  lexie