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[lady-stardust7-blog]

Rumple this season is like everyone’s angry dad

just running around like “I don’t care about any of you, but uhh where’s Lucy? Where’s Rogers? Have you all eaten today? Of course you haven’t Tilly, because you suck, here’s a sandwich, god I have to do everything around here… Not that I care. Because I don’t. You’re all idiots. Rogers, put that down. Roni, stop asking stupid questions. Tilly, eat your lunch. I will turn this car around, don’t test me.”

[lady-stardust7-blog]

i recognize and love only two (2) character developments in season 7

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Hey...how are you doing? I know you were sick in bed a few days ago. I hope you're feeling better!

Hey! I'm getting better thanks, I've had so many deadlines this month that I think my immune system just gave up on me 😂 Feels like the worst is over so hopefully I'll be alright soon! Thanks for the concern!

[lady-stardust7-blog]

If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn’t be filled?

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Tru love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself.

[lady-stardust7-blog]

[lady-stardust7-blog]

it’s not about that i know how to do laundry. it’s that when i was four i knew how to fold clothes; small hands working alongside my mother, while my older brother sat and played with his toys. it’s that i know what kind of detergent works but my father guesses. it’s that in my freshman year of college i had a line of boys who needed me to show them how to use the machine. it’s that the first door they knocked on belonged to me. it’s that they expected me to know.

it’s not that i know how to cook. it’s that the biggest christmas present i got was a little plastic kitchenette i never used except to climb on. it’s that my brother used it more, his hands ghosting over pink buttons and yellow dials. it’s that when my work needs cake for a birthday, they turn to me. i get it from costco. i don’t even like cooking. a boy burns popcorn in the dorm microwave and laughs. a week later, i do the same thing, and he snorts at me, “just crossed you off my wife list.” it’s that i had heard something like this so many times before that i laughed, too.

it’s not that i don’t love being feminine. it’s that i came home with bruises from trying to be a trick rider on my bike and heard the word “tomboy,” felt my little mouth say, “but i’m not a boy, i’m a girl”. it’s that they laughed. it’s that until i was sitting in my pretty dress and smiling with a big pretty smile and blinking my big pretty eyes, i wasn’t given back the title “girl”. it’s that until i wore makeup and styled my hair i was bullied; it’s that when i don’t wear makeup i’m a slob, that my mental health diagnosis hangs on the hook of being dressed up. it’s that my therapist sees me returning to bright red lipstick and tells me i am looking happier and i have to explain that i am more sad than i have ever been. it’s that i dress myself in as many layers as i can every time i ride a train because it’s better to be laughed at than harassed. 

it’s not that i know how to clean, it’s that my brother’s chores were outside where i wanted to be, and mine were inside. it’s that i would have weeded the garden better than he did if they had just let me. it’s that i am put in charge of fixing other’s messes, expected to comply without complaint.

it’s not that i can’t open the jar. it’s that you ask my brother first every time. it’s that i am pushed into docile positions, trained to believe that my body when it’s strong and healthy is ugly, trained into being less, weaker. it’s that the jar is also science, is also engineering, is also every job, every opportunity. it’s that you laugh faster when he tells a joke, that you take him seriously but wave off me, that when he raises his voice he’s assertive but when i do i’m hysterical. the jar is getting into a car with a stranger as a driver and wondering if this is our last ride. the jar is knowing that if something happens to us, it’s our fault. 

it’s that i’m weak and i don’t know if it’s because i just am or i was trained to be. it’s that we need to sit pretty with our pretty smiles and our pretty words trapped pretty and silent in our throats, our hands restless but pretty when idle, our bodies vessels for nothing but a future white dress. it’s that we are taught someone else needs to open the jar for us.

here’s the secret: run metal lids under hot water, they’ll expand faster than the glass they’re around. here’s the secret: when you keep us under hot water, we do more than boil. we expand over our edges. and we learn how to open our mouths, our claws, our screams hanging in kites over cities. just give me a chance. give me a chance when i am four when i am seven when i am twenty-three. i promise i can be amazing. give me the jar. i’ll show you something.

[lady-stardust7-blog]

rumple looking at belle like she’s the best thing in the world, reblog if you agree

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Thanks so much!! That part was fun to write :)

Fic: Disclipline and Cookies

Summary: Rumple and Belle have always excelled at being parents - except in one particular area: discipline. When a prank goes wrong, Gideon learns how soft his parents really are.

[read it on Ao3]

This was unusual. Gideon never got into trouble. He was always such a good and well-mannered kid. He never did anything naughty, and they’d certainly never been called into the school to discuss anything other than how exceptionally talented and bright he was. So why had they been summoned to Snow’s classroom after school with the instruction to have a strict word with her?

Mild panic and concern filled Rumple and Belle’s heads. Was he getting bullied? Had he fallen into a bad crowd? They wordlessly communicated their thoughts through their worried expressions, as they waited in silence outside her classroom. After what felt like an eternity, the door opened and Snow stood before them, gesturing for them to come inside.

Keep reading

[lady-stardust7-blog]

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Fic: Disclipline and Cookies

Summary: Rumple and Belle have always excelled at being parents - except in one particular area: discipline. When a prank goes wrong, Gideon learns how soft his parents really are.

[read it on Ao3]

This was unusual. Gideon never got into trouble. He was always such a good and well-mannered kid. He never did anything naughty, and they’d certainly never been called into the school to discuss anything other than how exceptionally talented and bright he was. So why had they been summoned to Snow’s classroom after school with the instruction to have a strict word with her?

Mild panic and concern filled Rumple and Belle’s heads. Was he getting bullied? Had he fallen into a bad crowd? They wordlessly communicated their thoughts through their worried expressions, as they waited in silence outside her classroom. After what felt like an eternity, the door opened and Snow stood before them, gesturing for them to come inside.

They walked in together, quickly registering Gideon sitting alone at a table. His expression was solemn and he avoided the gaze of his parents. They each took a seat on the other side of Snow’s desk as she sat opposite them. She looked slightly uncomfortable herself, shifting in her seat as if she was reluctant to be calling Rumple and Belle in for a word. After a brief silence, Rumple asked what the problem was.

“Recently, Gideon has been experimenting with pranks in the classroom,” began Snow. “They started off harmless, making pens dance and such. He’s received a warning for it, regardless. There’s a place for magic and it’s not in the classroom around other students.

“In today’s class, we continued reading from The Catcher in the Rye,” she said, bringing out a copy from one of her desk drawers. She put it in front of the pair of them and opened it to a random page. “All was normal until we got up to this sentence here. “‘Thank you for the compliment,’ I said. ‘Gideon Gold’s my name.’”

Rumple and Belle frowned in confusion.

“I… don’t understand?” said Belle, eventually. “Why does it have Gideon’s name in it?”

“Every reference to the main character in this book has been changed from ‘Holden’ to ‘Gideon’. And not only in this book. Gideon has charmed every book in the school to replace the main character’s name with his.”

Rumple and Belle turned to their guilty-looking son, who seemed to be trying to make himself look as small as possible.

“Is this true, Gideon?” asked Rumple. Gideon shrugged and looked down in shame.

“I was only meant to do it to Roderick’s book,” he said, meekly. “I thought he’d find it funny. I don’t know how it happened to every book in the school.”

Rumple was impressed. The level of precision that must have taken… well, that was advanced, to say the least. He hadn’t taught him to do that. Gideon must have used his own initiative and learned the theory and practice of the trick himself. He’d always been proud of his son, but his ambition and potential was blossoming more and more by the day. He looked to Belle, who was still staring at the book with her hand over her mouth. No, this was bad. Gideon shouldn’t be practicing magic without supervision.

Belle was trying to stifle a laugh. Her son’s big personality had always been coated with a good sense of humour. The inspiration behind his prank must have been the fact that he was named after the character in Her Handsome Hero. As far as his mischievousness went, she was glad that his love of books had played a role in his creativity. She glanced towards Rumple, who was frowning slightly. No, this was bad. He shouldn’t be pulling pranks and disrupting lessons.

Snow continued pulling out more books to reel off more examples. The Harry Potter series were now titled with Gideon Gold, and Black Beauty was now Gold Beauty. Soon there were a dozen books on the desk, their son’s name staring at them in various fonts.

“As you can see, it’s caused a lot of disruption. The class didn’t take in any of the words because they were too busy sniggering at each mention of his name, meaning we’re now a lesson behind - and we were already behind schedule,” continued Snow. “I’ve had teachers coming in all day demanding to know why their textbooks have changed, not to mention how the book in my bag has been turned to 50 Shades of Gold.”

Rumple looked to his lap and covered his face with his hands. What kind of parent would he look like if they’d caught him smirking at his son’s ingenuity? Beside him, Belle was trying to think of sad scenarios in her head to stop the smile playing at her lips.

“I’m very sorry for Gideon’s actions,” said Belle. “Thank you for letting us know. We’ll deal with him at home.”

Rumple waved his hand and a glow spread around all the books in the classroom, the covers of the books in front of them changing back to their original titles.

“They should be corrected now,” said Rumple. “It won’t happen again.”

They got to their feet and Gideon skulked towards them. Rumple and Belle shared a glance and sighed. They’d have to discipline him. Neither of them were good in that area, as, luckily, they’d never really had to tell him off. Gideon had just always been so good. They’d have to do this together.

The car journey was silent, and not a word was spoken on the long path towards the house. Once the door was shut behind them, Rumple threw the car keys on the cabinet and sighed, turning reluctantly towards the scene they’d have to play out. Belle had had her arms crossed and had looked a little lost for a whole five minutes, as if trying to figure out where to go from here. Gideon looked at them, expectantly, seeming to have more of an idea about what they should do than even they did.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“Come on, Gideon, you’re better than this,” began Belle. “You can pull pranks without using magic and without it being during lessons.”

“We raised you better than this,” added Rumple, albeit a little uncertainly, as he racked his brains for lines his aunties had used on him when he was a child.

“What would have happened if your father hadn’t have been able to rectify it?”

Gideon looked at his shoes.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand, honest. I won’t do it again.”

“Gideon, you shouldn’t be using magic at all,” said Rumple. “You aren’t trained. When you try and use magic without having control over it, god knows what could happen. You’ve seen the effect yourself - you tried to change one book but changed every book in the entire building. I don’t want to see this happen again.”

“Yes, dad,” said Gideon, quietly, nodding his head. “I’m sorry.”

Belle felt her heart melt at his big guilty eyes, and Rumple wanted nothing more than to pull his son in and give him a hug.

“We… need to be sure you won’t behave like this again. You’ll spend the rest of the evening in your bedroom, so you can reflect on the consequences of your actions,” instructed Rumple.

“And you’re grounded for the rest of the week,” added Belle, with a heavy heart. Gideon nodded again and went upstairs without uttering another sentence, hanging his head in shame. Belle and Rumple sighed once more, feeling guilty and hoping that they wouldn’t have to repeat this any time soon.

***

Gideon shut the door behind him and sat on his bed, his encounter with his parents playing over and over in his mind. He’d never been grounded before, they must be so disappointed in him. He sighed and reached into his bag, pulling out a book to try and distract himself. Five pages in, however, the repeated mention of his name filled him with more and more guilt, so he put it down and stared out the window.

There was a knock at his door, and he saw his mother’s head peek through the crack. She gave him a reassuring smile, closed the door behind her, then walked over and sat on the end of his bed. She held a pack of cookies and held them out for him to take one.

“I’m sorry we’ve had to be so strict, Gideon,” she began. “It’s just, you know how seriously your father takes magic. It isn’t something to be meddled with.”

“I know, mom,” replied Gideon, as he took a bite out of a cookie. “I won’t do it again.”

“As far as pranks go though, that was a good one,” she admitted, with a little smirk. “You’re such a creative boy. I can just imagine you, the hero in every book. Did everybody else find it funny?”

“Yeah. It was when everyone started laughing that I realised the spell went wrong. The more they laughed the more Snow got angry.”

Belle smiled and ruffled Gideon’s hair.

“At least nobody got hurt, and it all got sorted out. Do me a favour though, Gideon, and stick to more simple pranks next time? Leave magic out of it. There are other outlets. I already have enough trouble getting your father not to use it when it’s not necessary, and I don’t want to have to worry about you, too.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Good boy. I’d better go, I can hear your father walking around. You can keep the rest of the cookies in here, but I’m bringing up your dinner soon so don’t eat too many.”

She gave him another smile and left. Only a few moments later, the sound of Rumple pacing around the corridor vibrated through the air. When Gideon heard a knock at his bedroom door, he hid the cookies under his covers and looked innocent as his father strolled into his room. He, too, looked rather guilty and mimicked Belle’s actions from not ten minutes before, taking a seat next to Gideon on his bed.

“Here, I brought you a hot chocolate,” he said, passing a mug to Gideon, who accepted it with a thanks. “Look, Gideon, you didn’t put us in an easy position out there. I didn’t want to be so strict, really. It’s just that, well, you know how your mother doesn’t like magic.”

Gideon smiled behind his hot chocolate. His parents were so soft.

“I know, dad,” he replied. “I won’t use magic again, I promise.”

“Well, actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. That spell - I don’t know where you got it from but it requires a high level of precision, and I think your attempt shows a lot of potential. I think you could be really talented. I’ll have a talk with your mother first, but how would you feel about having lessons with me? I could teach you how to control it.”

Gideon was shocked. His parents had been called into school to discipline him for a prank gone wrong, and instead he was getting cookies, hot chocolate and magic lessons? His poor parents. They really didn’t know how to tell him off.

“Uh - yeah, that sounds great, dad,” he said.

“But, in return I expect you not to use magic without me present to supervise,” replied Rumple, a more firm tone to his voice. Gideon nodded eagerly, and Rumple also looked excited at the idea.

“Great. We could even work on projects together!” Rumple stood up and made his way back to the door. “And, Gideon, one last thing: we won’t have to tell you off for pranks if you don’t get caught.”

With a smile and a wink, his father left.

***

Downstairs, Rumple and Belle sat side-by-side on the sofa, feeling a positive glow from their interactions with Gideon.

“We’re good parents, aren’t we?” mused Rumple, putting an arm around Belle and feeling utterly content with his small, perfect family.

“Yeah,” agreed Belle. “He’s such a good kid. Takes after me, obviously.”

“That’s probably a good thing. If he took after me, we’d have to watch him like a hawk. At least he’s learned his lesson now.”

Upstairs, Gideon retrieved the cookies from under his covers and began dunking them into his hot chocolate, already feeling miles better than he had done when they’d arrived at home. It was a good thing that his parents taught by example, because discipline had never been their strong area.

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Robert Carlyle is like a fine wine. He just gets better with age.

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Did you ever get your notebook back from your supervisor?

Haha! Yes I did, I knocked on her door and said “I think I left my notepad” and avoided her gaze, then quickly grabbed it from the same place that I left it in and scurried off. So fingers crossed she doesn’t know more about me than she needs to ;)

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Aw this is so cute!! My fics aren't going any time soon so take your time!

I’m so far behind on reading fic I want to cry

@ishtarelisheba, @mariequitecontrarie, @lady-stardust7, @rowofstars, @barpurplewrites, @smartgirlsaremean, @like-a-dozen-other-people-i-am-probably-forgetting

I see all the updates and stuff y'all have been posting and I’m going to read them soon I swear!!!!

[lady-stardust7-blog]

So, I often write fics out by hand before I type them up. I write a lot slower than I type, so it gives me more time to think about what I’m writing. This is particularly the case for more intimate scenes.

This morning I rushed together my things for a meeting with my project supervisor, attended the meeting and came home.

And what do I realise when I come home? Not only have I left my notepad on my supervisors table, but it was the one with all of my fic writing... which includes an abundance of smut.

[lady-stardust7-blog]

The Oldest Game: Chapter 5

Summary: On his way home from work, Gold runs into a lady of the night called Lacey. He finds himself drawn to her, and soon realises that he can’t stop thinking about the young woman on the street corner, and the web of secrets she has spun.

[1] [2] [3] [4]

[read it on Ao3]

Chapter Five: Falling

Gold longed for the nights he’d had prior to meeting Lacey - back when he could put his head on his pillow, fall asleep within ten minutes, and wake up refreshed and ready for the day eight hours later. Alas, those nights were seemingly long gone. Last night had been particularly bad - he’d barely slept at all, tossing and turning as the memory of Lacey’s lips on his intruded his thoughts over and over again. He felt tortured with the taste of what could have been if the circumstances had been different. He’d slowly witnessed the sun take over the night sky behind his curtains, until eventually he gave up and got out of bed.

He repeated his actions from the previous morning, making Lacey breakfast and a hot beverage before even considering what he wanted to eat himself. He knocked on her door, listening carefully for a reply… but there wasn’t one. He knocked a little louder this time, and called her name, but once again it was fruitless. He opened the door slowly, and took a peek through the crack, opening it completely when he processed that she wasn’t in the room at all.

He put down the tray on the dresser and walked to the bathroom, the living room, the whole house, but she was nowhere to be seen. He rushed back to her bedroom and opened the drawers, noticing that her clothes were still inside. That was a relief, to some extent. She couldn’t have run away, so to speak. Perhaps she’d just left for a morning walk, or gone to visit a friend. It was probably nothing to worry about. Somehow, repeating that to himself didn’t stop him from worrying at all.

Despite the severe lack of sleep and the fact that his mind was elsewhere, Gold decided to go to work anyway. If he was to worry at home, he may as well worry at work, where he could attempt to make himself productive. Upon opening the shop, however, he was immediately hit with how empty it felt. Yesterday, when Lacey had come to work with him, it had been different. There was something that made him look at every object as if it was new and full of wonder. Telling her the meaning behind each one somehow made it feel like he was seeing it for the first time too. Today, it felt the complete opposite. There was a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he couldn’t care less about any of his stock.

He tried busying himself but he knew from the start that today was going to be a long day. He was in the middle of feeling sorry for himself when Regina Mills walked into his shop. He looked up at her but didn’t address her, hoping she’d get the hint that he wasn’t in the mood for whatever it was she wanted from him, and leave before any unnecessary time was wasted. If she did get the hint, she didn’t care.

“Gold,” she greeted. “I thought I’d come and check on you. The rest of the town seem to believe you’ve finally lost it.”

He wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but she seemed to take a certain element of glee in saying that. Of course she did. Anything to give her the upper ground.

“And what would give them that idea?” he humoured her.

“The recent company that you’ve kept. Really, Gold? Hookers? You spend all of your time locked away, avoiding everybody, and now you’ve got a young woman in toe. Lacey, is it? It’s been a bit of a cause for concern,” she said.

If he hadn’t felt so detached and lost, he would have argued it wasn’t like that. Unfortunately for Regina, he really did not care what the townspeople had to say about him, and he wasn’t about to tell her anything. He just felt tired.

“I fail to see how that’s anybody’s concern.”

“So it’s true, then?” She raised her eyebrows at him, although whatever surprise she was feigning wasn’t working. She didn’t look surprised in the slightest. “Really, Gold. I always imagined you with somebody who had a little more… class.”

“It’s especially not any of your concern.”

“She is pretty,” she mused, completely ignoring him. “Although, I suppose they’ve got to be, to be successful in that line of work.”

He knew her game - knew that she was trying to get a reaction out of him. For what, he wasn’t sure. But he didn’t rise to it, and wouldn’t allow her to intimidate him. So, he ignored it instead, looking back down to his inventory sheet.

“Anyway, I just dropped by to let you know that people are talking. If you’re not careful, that ‘fearsome’ reputation you’ve built up will be knocked down. And wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“Yes, well, if that’s all, I really do have more pressing things to attend to.”

“It’ll especially be in shatters when the scene she caused late last night gets around.”

Gold would have sighed if she wasn’t stood in front of him, but he didn’t want to give her that pleasure. She waited for him to ask about it, to finally give her the power in the situation. And reluctantly, Gold gave it to her.

“What scene?” he asked, warily.

“You haven’t heard?” she asked, not bothering to hide a smug smile. Gold glared at her, loathing the fact that he was waiting on her every word. “Graham got a call to The Rabbit Hole at closing time. Apparently, one of the regulars had taken something she shouldn’t have… was getting aggressive, falling all over the place and projectile vomiting. Whenever anybody got close to her she lashed out and got violent, until eventually she passed out and got whisked away to hospital. I went to visit earlier, she really is quite a mess. Dr. Whale tells me that she’s had two seizures overnight. You do know how to pick them, don’t you?”

“And why would you know about all of this? How does it benefit you, concerning yourself with a prostitute who has a drug problem?” he asked, suspiciously. He knew Regina, and she never acted out of compassion or benevolence.

“I simply like to know what’s going on my town,” she said with a superficial smile, before she turned her back and left.

For a few minutes, Gold remained rooted to the spot, his feed glued to the floor. He felt a heavy feeling of dread inside his body as Regina’s words sunk in. He realised he was hyperventilating slightly and attempted to force himself to calm down as he picked up his coat and bolted out the door to his car.

The drivers ahead of him never seemed so slow. He tried to think about something else to stop himself from panicking, but how could he when Lacey was hospitalised? His mind drifted back to his encounter with Regina. There was something in her tone that he particularly disliked. It was almost as if she knew more than she was letting on, or as if she knew something about Lacey that he didn’t. He shook his head. He was probably being paranoid in his state of distress, but he’d be sure to investigate it later - after he knew Lacey was okay.

He entered the hospital and demanded to know where Lacey was. The frightened receptionist immediately searched the system and stuttered out “beech ward” and said something else, but Gold was already halfway down the corridor.

Once he was outside her ward, he stood outside the door. He reached out to the door handle and noticed how much his hand was shaking. He frowned at it, as if willing himself to stop it, but he remained jittery. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before he took the plunge and forced himself to open the door.

He looked around and found himself faced with six hospital beds, four of which were occupied by people in varying states. A sleeping man was closest to his left, and a young girl who looked no older than sixteen was surrounded by a small family on his right. The third bed had curtains wrapped around it and finally his eyes rested on Lacey.

Her head was turned away from him, and he thought she might be asleep until he got a closer look. She wasn’t asleep, just looking out the window. Wordlessly, he took a seat beside her. She was wearing an oxygen mask and had a few tubes on her wrist, but judging from her expression when she saw him, she was completely responsive. She looked like hell, mind - heavy bags under her eyes and a ghostly pale complexion, but she was conscious. At that reassuring fact, Gold let out a much-needed sigh of relief.

For a few moments they simply looked at each other, having a silent conversation through their stubborn expressions.

“Can you… talk?” he asked, weakly. He’d never been in this situation before and wasn’t sure about the protocol, but she lifted off the mask.

“I can breathe too, not that they trust me to do that by myself…” she replied, moodily. Gold nodded, feeling more reassured by the minute, and took a look around. By the end of her bed was a clipboard and he made to reach it, looking at her for permission. She waved her hand and mumbled a “whatever” so he unhooked it and took a look, figuring that he’d get clearer answers from the sheet of paper than he would from asking her.

After a long stretched out silence as he read, Gold looked back up to her. She lay with the expression of a teenager about to get a lecture from a parent, staring stubbornly at the ceiling and waiting for what was to come.

“A ‘crack cocaine overdose’?” he read. She rolled her eyes.

“Go on then,” she replied.

“What?”

“Tell me I behaved recklessly and need to learn to be more responsible, that I’m terrible at making life choices and need to find some other purpose like some meaningless job. I’ve heard it all before, so try your best and maybe you’ll be the one to finally convince me to change my pathetic ways,” she said, sarcastically. “Oh, and don’t forget the ‘if you carry on like this you’ll end up killing yourself!’ line. That seems to be a favourite.”

“I’m not here to admonish you, Lacey.”

There was another silence.

“You didn’t…” he began, unsure of his footing. “You didn’t do this because of… what happened last night, did you?”

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, which made him regret asking it in the first place.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she said, dryly.

Gold sighed, feeling out of his depth. In the background, he heard the mother crying to the young girl he’d seen coming in. He heard her begging, “please try, for us” and through the stoic expression the girl was wearing, she looked as frightened as a sheep caught between a pack of wolves. He saw her lip quiver and she shook her head, and her mother let out a loud sob.

“She got brought in this morning,” Lacey whispered, following his gaze. “She tried overdosing but they pumped her stomach, and now she’s refusing to eat. They’ve been like this for hours.”

Gold knew through the glimpse of the emotion on the girl’s face that they’d get through to her, that the emotionless exterior she was feigning would soon diminish. He looked at Lacey and knew the little girl inside her wasn’t too deep down, either. He took a few deep breaths before he built up the courage to say what he did next. He looked down at his hands and felt his throat already tightening.

“I said to you, that I didn’t have a family,” he began. She turned to look at him, wondering where this was leading. “That… wasn’t always true. I once had a little boy. His name was Baedon.” He felt his heart break at the mention of his name but he knew he had to continue. Lacey remained silent. “That car accident that I told you about… the one that broke my ankle. My son was also in the car and… I lost him.”

Lacey opened and closed her mouth a few times, unsure of what to say. She settled with a quiet, “I’m sorry.”

“Not as sorry as I am. I woke up in hospital after the accident - this same hospital, in fact. They told me he had already gone. Had done on impact. I could experience that broken ankle and my three broken ribs a thousand times… but it still wouldn’t come close to the pain of losing my boy. He was only fourteen, a whole life for us to spend together. But he’s gone, and it’s my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” she interrupted.

“No, Lacey. It was. I was speeding on an icey road. It was my fault. A moment of reckless judgement and a lifetime snatched away. A broken ankle wasn’t enough. I refused to do physiotherapy and that’s why it never healed right, but it’s still more than I deserve.”

He felt a tear fall from his eye and he quickly wiped it away. He hadn’t mentioned it since they had buried his son in the ground, and although he thought of Bae every day, bringing the memory of the crash to surface was still too raw for him.

“Why are you telling me this?” asked Lacey, softly. He looked up at her, looking at him with hooded eyes filled with sympathy. He swallowed, dislodging the lump that had been stuck in his throat, and cleared his voice.

“Because, Lacey,” he said. “I’ve just told you the most personal thing about myself. Now it’s time for you to let me in, too.”

[lady-stardust7-blog]

Seclusion: Chapter 4

Summary: Belle French arrives at a secluded cabin in the Scottish Highlands, expecting to spend a week there by herself. What she doesn’t realise is that Euan Gold has had the exact same idea.

(Just gonna up the rating to “explicit” here...)

[1] [2] [3] [read it on Ao3]

Chapter 4/6

“Just a little further.”

Belle must have heard that at least a dozen times by now as Gold guided her, blindfolded, up a steep hill. He’d instructed her to keep the blindfold on the moment they had left the house. They drove a short distance and he held her hand as they commenced their hike up the hill.

The day passed rather quickly. They’d woken in the same position they had fallen asleep in, Gold’s arms still snugly wrapped around her. The events of the day had been simple enough, yet made far more exciting by the lingering glances and the trivial excuses they had made to rest their hands on the other.

And this is where the day had taken them: to a hill in the middle of the night. Despite his efforts to play it off like it was just another plan, Belle could tell he’d been giddy with anticipation all day to show her the stars.

She felt the ground become more even beneath her feet, and then his arms let go of her as they came to a halt. He instructed her to wait, and she heard him fumbling around with a few objects. Then, she felt him behind her, untying the blindfold to show her the vast sight before her.

She brought a hand to her mouth and took a step back into his arms. The night sky was coated in thousands of sparking stars, like somebody had sprinkled glitter across the sky. The sheet behind them consisted of a dozen shades of dark blue, the twinkling lights illuminating some areas more than others. The black silhouettes of mountains and trees slept underneath.

She realised she hadn’t said a word when she heard his chuckling behind her. She joined in although she wasn’t quite sure what they were laughing at.

"Overwhelming, isn’t it?” he whispered. She nodded and looked down to see the sets of blankets he had laid down for them.

She tried to find something to say, but after three attempts of trying to open her mouth and find the words, she gave up. He laughed again and sat down on the blankets, gesturing for her to do the same.

“I brought some camping hot chocolate too,” he said as he pulled out plastic cups with hot chocolate powder inside, and a flask of hot water to fill them. He handed her one and she felt tears blur her vision as the perfection of the moment caught up with her.

“It’s beautiful,” she managed. They sat and looked at the night sky together, taking in the moment without any words necessary. Once they finished their drinks, they led down on the blanket side by side and wrapped another blanket on top of them. She felt his hand, still warm from holding the hot chocolate, take hers.

“Did you know, there are more stars in our universe than there are grains of sand on the earth,” he told her. “And do you know how many grains of sand there are? Around four-hundred thousand in a handful. Trust me, I’ve looked it up.”

Belle giggled. What a nerd.

“Do you know any constellations?” she asked.

“I do, as a matter of fact. I know the stories behind them too. Do you want me to teach you a few?” he replied, and she nodded. There was a brief silence, in which Belle presumed he was structuring his thoughts, then he pointed in a vague area of the sky.

“You see the Plough just there? The one that looks like a frying pan? If you can see the legs coming from that, that’s ursa major, the great bear. You see, Jupiter fell in love with a beautiful maiden named Callisto, and she gave birth to his son. Jupiter’s wife, Juno, wasn’t too pleased about it, so she cursed Callisto and turned her into a bear. When Callisto’s son grew up he went on a hunt and almost killed who he didn’t realise was his mother, but Jupiter showed mercy to them, and sent them both to the stars instead. So, there she is. You can see her boy just above her, there. Ursa minor.”

“Wow,” breathed Belle. “She should have turned Jupiter into a bear instead.”

“Yes, well. Jupiter learned to hide his affairs better after that. Can you see Taurus just there, that little cluster with two stars above it? That’s the face of a bull, the form he took to seduce other women. The famous story behind that one is when he charmed Europa in his bull form on a beach. She was enchanted by how placid and gentle he was, and climbed on his back. They swap out to sea, and when they got back to land he revealed his true form. He seduced her with a dog that could outrun any prey, which you can see just… there.”

He brought her hand up and pointed it himself to a particularly bright star.

“That’s Sirius, the brightest star in the sky. That’s the chest of the dog, Canis major, his head and body coming from it. Of course, he’s the guard dog of Orion now. He’s just there.” He moved her hand to the constellation just beside it. “That’s one of my personal favourites. The greatest warrior in the land, although his muscles weren’t as big as his ego. In response to his vanity he got killed by a mere Scorpion.”

“Sounds like my ex,” muttered Belle.

“Back to Taurus over there, you see the seven stars clustered in the middle? That’s the Seven Sisters. Jupiter sent them to the stars to avoid the seduction of Orion. He’s still trying to pursue them now, even in the stars.”

“It’s like a book in the sky,” she marvelled in wonder. “How do you know all of this?”

He shrugged modestly.

“I used to take my son stargazing, a few miles outside Glasgow. It used to take his mind off things.”

“What things?”

“Mainly the fact that his mother left. He never let on that it bothered him, but I know it must have. It was always at night-time that he’d run out of things to distract himself with and go quiet – you know how the night tends to exaggerate things. He never wanted to talk about it. So, I bought him a telescope and told him the stories of the stars instead.”

“It must have been hard for you, bringing up your son by yourself.”

“Not really, he said. “He always made it so easy. Sometimes it felt like he was the one looking after me. It was a bit of a shock how empty it felt when he moved to London, but he comes back a lot. For my benefit rather than his, I’m sure.”

“I bet you’re really proud of him.”

“I am.”

She’d been trying to hide it for a while, not wanting to ruin the moment, but her chattering teeth gave away how cold she felt. The sound seemed to alert Gold at once, for he immediately sat up and looked at her with concern.

“Are you cold? Do you want to go back?” he asked, his eyes filled with worry. Belle felt her heart melt at how responsive he was to her needs.

“No, no,” she said, quickly. “Maybe I could just do with another blanket… or maybe we could cuddle up together? To keep a bit warmer?”

He looked a little shy at her suggestion, but he smiled and led down, holding his arm out for her to snuggle in closer. He tucked a blanket more firmly around her and in an instant the cold seemed a hundred times more bearable.

“This is much better,” she noted.

“Yes.”

His hand rubbed her arm affectionately, and suddenly she found herself laughing into his side. He didn’t say anything to begin with but when she didn’t stop he voiced his confusion with a sheepish, “what?”

“It’s just, this wasn’t how I imagined my honeymoon. At all,” she giggled. “Cuddling under the night sky with a Scotsman. I’m glad it did go like this, though. You’ve made it perfect,” she said, as she drew circles on his chest. Whether he could feel it through all the layers he was wearing, she wasn’t sure.

“I’m glad my peaceful week alone ended up like this too. Even if I did have to endure that terrible movie last night.”

“Oh, please,” she said, cheekily. “You were so terrified that you needed a cuddle in bed.”

There was a silence and she heard him swallow.

“That… wasn’t because I was scared, Belle,” he said, slowly. “That was… well, I like you. A lot.” His hand drifted into her hair and played with it absent-mindedly.

Belle couldn’t stop grinning if she tried. She had known, of course. She could tell by the way he looked at her. She had felt more cared for by Gold in the last few days than she had from Gaston in the years they were together.

“I like you, too,” she replied. She felt Gold’s chest relax under her weight.

“Oh, Belle,” he whispered. He scooted down so that they were face-to-face, her head resting on his arm and his other hand on her cheek. He leant forward and she closed her eyes as she felt him place a kiss on her lips. She pressed back into him then felt him break the kiss and clear his throat.

“Sorry. I’m… a little out of practice,” he muttered, sheepishly. “I haven’t kissed anybody since… well, since my marriage ended.”

“If it’s any reassurance, I wouldn’t have guessed. That was…” she struggled to find the words.

“Yes,” he agreed. “Can we…?”

She didn’t let him finish his sentence before she found his lips again and pressed herself closer to his body. She heard him fail to suppress a groan and felt him squeeze her against him, his fingers drawing patterns on her neck.

She undid a few of the buttons on his coat, slipped her hand inside and rested it against the warm fabric on his chest. His tongue swept against the seam of her lips and she parted them for him. She gasped at the contact of his tongue on hers, dancing together in a slow but passionate rhythm. He slipped his hand underneath her top slightly – and it was cold.

She gasped and pulled back and he immediately looked guilty. He retracted his hand and held it up in a surrender.

“I’m sorry,” he babbled. “I didn’t – I thought you’d want me to, I got it wrong-”

“Calm down,” she said, placing a reassuring hand on his cheek. “That was fine, it’s just that you have really cold hands.”

“Oh,” he mumbled, then chuckled in relief. “Sorry about that. It is getting very cold; shall we head back?”

They picked up all of their belongings, and Belle took one last look at the stars over the mountains before they headed back to the cabin.

Once Gold was back in his signature underwear, and Belle in her pyjamas, they got into the warm sheets of his bed. They gave each other one last kiss goodnight, and Belle turned around so that Gold could spoon up against her. She tried getting to sleep, but that soon proved very difficult. The events of the night kept playing in her mind. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so wanted.

Apparently, Gold was having similar problems settling his mind because after only five minutes of being in the dark together he asked, “are you still awake?”

“Yeah,” she whispered back. She felt his hand on the bottom of her pyjama top and inch up underneath it on her bare skin.

“Is this okay?” he sought approval, a little breathlessly. She nodded. He slid it up a little further until it rested on the underside of her breast. When he made no movement to go any further, she brought her hand to his and pushed it up a little further, encouraging him until he was holding her breast comfortably in his hand. He gasped and started palming her, rolling her nipple between his fingers. She could hear him breathing heavily into her neck and she pushed back into him, letting out a soft moan.

“Are we moving too quickly?” he said.

She thought about it for a moment. If it was anybody else, she’d have insisted they waited before they moved to the next step of their relationship. With Gold, however, the situation seemed completely different. Besides, all she could think about right now was his hand on her, and how she didn’t want him to let go.

“I’m only here for a few more days,” she replied. “Maybe we shouldn’t go too far just yet, but why don’t we make the most of the time we have?”

“And what do you have in mind for now?”

She turned around so that she was facing him, his hand sliding to the skin on her back.

“We could use our hands,” she suggested, pulling him in for another kiss. It took a few minutes for his lips to catch up to the moment, but once they did he responded eagerly. She felt him slide his hand down her back and into the waistband of her underwear, pulling her into his hardening length and letting out a soft groan. She wrapped a leg around him and pulled him in closer, rubbing against him.

“You don’t know how much I’ve imagined this,” he muttered. “Ever since you came out that bathroom with that towel lazily wrapped around your body. God, I couldn’t stop thinking about what was underneath…”

“It wasn’t lazily wrapped around me!” she laughed. “It was secure.”

“I can’t believe I’m actually touching you like this. Can you feel how hard I am? Can I…” He moved his hand to the front of her pyjama bottoms, looking at her for permission. She nodded and his breathing became shallower as he fumbled inside and found her folds. She moaned and bucked into his hand at the same time that he let out a whimper. “Turn around again,” he begged.

She complied, turning so that her back was to him, and he settled against her, hands quickly returning to where they left. He gave her a few slow strokes, spreading her juices. He found her clit and rubbed his fingers against it. Belle let out a cry and rocked back into him, her hand on his so that he wouldn’t move it away, although she was sure he wouldn’t.

“I kept thinking of my mouth on your breasts, sucking and kissing every inch of your skin… fuck, you’re so wet, Belle. I can’t believe it.”

“You’ve really… come out of your shell… haven’t you?” panted Belle, in between the shocks of pleasure he was giving her. “I never had you for such a… dirty talker…”

“I haven’t been before,” he admitted. “I just need you to know how much I’m appreciating this. It’s like being in a dream.”

“So, you’re a sweet talker too,” she teased.

“For you, I can be anything,” he growled. He rolled on top of her and she helped him discard of her pyjamas to give him better access. He repositioned his hand so that his thumb was resting on her clit as his finger found her entrance, and looked at her for consent. Belle nodded and threw her head back in pleasure as she felt him push in and out of her, massaging her walls and rubbing her clit.

She looked down at him, his face absorbed in the sight of his fingers on her.

“Another,” she panted, getting closer and closer to the edge. Without a second delay, he added a second finger.

“God, Belle. You’re so hot and wet… I wonder what it would feel like, to have you squeezing tight around my cock as you come. Would you like that? My cock deep inside you as you let go? Give me a taste of it, Belle. Let me feel you come around my hand…”

He picked up the pace, his fingers moving slick and fast inside her. He moved his head up to her breasts and took one in his mouth, teasing her nipple with his tongue. That was enough for Belle, who saw stars almost as brilliant as the ones they had saw together. Her hips shook with the force of her orgasm washing over her. Gold brought his lips to hers and she rode out the last of it with his tongue caressing hers.

Gold slowed down the movement of his fingers until he brought them away completely. He brought them to his lips and sucked her juices from them. He nuzzled her neck softly as she caught her breath.

“That was beautiful,” he mumbled into her. “You’re beautiful.”

“What would you like to do now?” she asked, cradling his head between her hands as he looked at her with nothing but upmost adoration.

“I was thinking maybe… if you’d let me, I could just rock against you,” he said, tentatively. Belle smiled and nodded, bringing her arms around his neck and pulling him in as he shunted his hips into hers. She wrapped her legs around his waist and felt his fully erect cock straining against his boxers. She brought a hand down to stroke him through the fabric.

“Oh,” he whimpered, weakly. He thrust against her hand a few times until he stopped and looked at her, pleadingly. “Can I… can I take it out?”

“Let me,” replied Belle, reaching into his underwear and touching him for the first time. Gold began breathing fast, clenching his eyes shut as she held his member, hot and heavy, in her hand.

He began rocking against her again, cock slipping through Belle’s hand as she kissed all around his cheek. His thrusts became more erratic and she could feel the leak of precum on her hand.

“I’m so lucky,” he muttered. “That someone like you… would want to do this… with me.”

“Shh,” she hushed. “Stop talking. Just feel the moment.” He obeyed and brought a hand back to lightly squeeze her breast. “You’re talking nonsense anyway. Of all the things you’ve showed me in Scotland, my favourite part has been being with you. That’s not luck, it’s chemistry.”

He let out another whimper and she tightened her grip around his cock, which was now as hard as a rock between them.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasped. Seconds later he groaned as he let out the tension in thick white spurts across her exposed stomach. He panted above her and kissed her with all the effort he could muster before he fell to the side.

After only a few moments he quickly got to his feet, instructing her to stay still as he hurried to the bathroom. He came back with a few tissues and wiped the come from her stomach, mumbling an apology. Belle smiled at how thoughtful he was and gestured for him to come back to bed after he disposed of the tissues.

Once he was back, she snuggled into his chest and let him play with her hair. All she could think about was how she couldn’t wait to see what tomorrow would bring, and that had nothing to do with being on a holiday. Sleeping didn’t seem like such a task after that, and she let herself drift away with him.