#musing / you can show me how it feels when someone is truly seen

[evanave]

υѕƒω є∂ιтιση - ѕєχυαℓ ρяєƒєяєη¢єѕ

pansexual as fuck

is into polyamory

he’s a switch through and through and easily slips in the opposite part, depending on the person he’s with. If they’re more dominant then he’ll be submissive, if the other is more submissive then he takes the more dominant role. But he’d be a soft dom in that case.

he's very open-minded about experimenting and trying new things like toys, positions or locations. Partners have it easy to talk to him about those things and what they may desire, because Evan will always try to find a middle ground for them. You know, communication is key.

he is pretty oral fixated, meaning he loves lots of kissing and to leave kisses on a partner’s body, he licks playfully and teasingly, he sucks on partners fingers/lower lip/skin to tease. basically he wants to feel his partners all over his body as well as be all over their body.

partners have marked him up before in form of hickeys and light bruising from biting during the act, therefore he does not mind it when it happens. if wished he’d also bite as well.

he loves to give oral (waking a partner up with oral is not an uncommon thing for him to do) but also he likes receiving it.

as he likes to sit on partners, straddle them, naturally he’d be into riding them (in case of male partners). as for his girls, he'd like to have them ride him at times.

he LOVES to grab/pull hair, during kissing/making out or in the act. His hands need to hold onto something. (He doesn’t like it much if someone would pull his hair though). If a partner is not into getting their hair pulled, it’ll be so damn hard for him not to do it. But restraining his hands would be torture for him as he likes to touch/grab/hold onto his partners way too much.

restraining partner’s hands is something he’d do if wished or simply to tease, but he actually prefers it more when he feels the other’s hands on him.

Evan is loud. He’d have to bite his hand/partner/pillow to muffle himself if he gets too lost in the moment, so the neighbors/other people don’t hear him.

nudes are all great and he loves to receive them (depends where he is when receiving them he'd also blush upon seeing them), but Evan won’t always send one back, instead he would totally use them to jerk himself off and send the audio in return (only if he's at home, of course).

while he does like to massage his partner just to get them to relax, he’d also use this to initiate foreplay, especially if his partner is lying on their stomach and he can rub himself against their ass. (he can be needy af)

he has a strong praise kink

necklaces/chains he loves them aesthetically and when he can watch them bounce on a partner

he likes to be pulled in by the collar of his shirt/ by a tie (might even want to test that out with a collar)

hugs/cuddling is a must after the act

[prettiedup]

⤷ fratboy/playboy!gojo taking readers virginity.

・・・・・​​⟢ tw: manipulation, virginity loss, hesitance, pet names: [baby, princess, daddy]

it’s truly a mystery as to how satoru got his hands on you. even suguru doesn’t understand how such a flamboyant person managed to get someone like you, someone so sweet and pure. satoru is aware of the curious eyes that stick to the two of you like glue, he knows what people think and he loves it. he enjoys knowing he has the last piece to the puzzle. when people try to map out how a fuckboy got his grimy fingers onto you, he becomes tight lipped, only offering a sly smirk.

it’s no one’s business to know that he was persistent in getting you一sometimes too persistent. he’d linger around your dorm room, he sat directly beside you in the one class the two of you had together, it was minor things that blossomed into you catching feelings for him. when you had briefly mentioned to satoru that you were new to the city and didn’t exactly have many friends, god一you’ve never seen him smile so wide. you were oblivious to inner musings; lewd, disgusting thoughts of innocent you.

of course he had ulterior motives. as beautiful as you are, satoru finds girls with a bit of fight in them more attractive than submissive girls. you weren’t exactly his type but your naivety strung him along. and boy, was all the waiting worth it.

“t-toru.” you gasp his name dumbly. your pretty eyes glance down to where his thick cock was stretching your pussy. your long square shaped nails dig into his shoulder blade. “t-thought you said it wouldn’t h-hurt..” you sniffle.

“‘m a guy, baby. i’ve never had my cherry popped.” he huffs out a chuckle. his chuckle is quieted once he bites down on his lip and concentrates on pushing his cock deep inside of you. once his hips are smacked against the fat of your ass, he takes a moment to look at you.

you feel so full of him. you could feel every vein, every ridge, the feeling of his cock pulsating inside you. it was almost too much of a feeling. “can we take a break, toru?” you remove your hands from his shoulders to cover your face. 

luckily, you weren’t able to see satoru roll his eyes at your question. “princess, really? we’ve gotten so far. i一jus’ look at how your pussy’s squeezing me.” 

“it’s.. w-we don’t have to stop jus’ a little break, toru.” you try to reason. satoru sucks his teeth in response. his cock is throbbing and he just wants to start pounding his way through your walls, giving your pussy the treatment it deserves. 

“fine. i guess i’ll have t’call another girl to一” he’s cut off by you gasping.

you quickly uncover your face and grab at his forearms. your eyes dart to the silver infinity chain that hangs from his neck and threatens to rub against your forehead. “no! please, no. we can do it! no breaks, ‘kay? you hear me, toru?” you wrap your legs around his waist as if you’re showing him that you mean every word you say. 

“nah, it’s good. unwrap your legs.” satoru has to fight himself, repeating in his head 'don't smile'. he’s got you where he wants you.

tears adorn your eyes as you look at him with apprehension. “p-please, d-daddy. i don’t wanna take a break. don’t go, please.” 

“well.. i guess we can finish.” he places a soft kiss on your lips before pulling his hips back and thrusting into you.

you’re satoru’s little delicate thing, he’ll make sure he has his fun with you.

[xetlynn]

an artists muse- a viktor fic.

eleven.

[ten] [eleven] [twelve]

faithful to its nature, its power never diminished.

Arms wrap around you sweetly, you lean into it. Wanting nothing more but to stay in the moment. “you’re so pretty.” And you look over to see Viktor. You smile, going in to place a kiss on his lips. It was perfect. The room was dark, only dimly lit by the laptop screen that played…

That played um… What is it playing? You pull away from the kiss, to look over at the device that was beginning to look weird. “What the-” “[Name]?” You look back over to Viktor who was now replaced by Powder. Your best friend. You furrow your eyebrows, slightly in disgust. You blink a few times.

“What?” You rasp and you hear Powder laugh, her arm rested on your waist as the two of you lay together on your bed watching a show. “Dude, you passed out.” She announces. “We’ve only watched one episode.” She tells you and you scrunch your face. Trying to register what was happening. “Sorry.” 

She raises a brow at you. “Have a nightmare or something?” Powder sits up, her arm going back to her own side. You frown momentarily at the loss of her warmth. “No, I- it was stupid.” You shrug your shoulders, sitting up as well. Staring down at your fingers as your face grows flustered. “Tell me about it.” 

You think back to the short, painfully short dream. “It was about Viktor. For the hundredth time.” You sigh, annoyed with your own brain. Creating such imagery in your own head that you now have to think about when you’re conscious. “Mm, not surprised.” Powder huffs out a laugh, leaning into you as she also pauses the show. “Thanks.” You scoff, sliding off the bed to stretch out your limbs. 

“No problem, but seriously I have a question.” Your best friend follows suit, jumping on the ground. Surely to give you guys another complaint by the people underneath you. “What?” You ask, heading over to your desk, plopping down on the rolly chair.

“Do you love him or something?” The question catches you off guard and your eyes almost pop out of your own head. “Love?” You repeat.

“Yeah, if I’m wrong you can tell me but I only ask because this is like a heartbreak [Name]. I’ve never seen you this… disheveled over any break ups you’ve had.” Powder explains her reasoning. 

And thinking back to it, she’s right. With your past relationships, that was official, you’ve never really given it another thought when it ended. It was over and yeah you were sad for a little bit but this is different.

Your chest ached with the mention of Viktor. In most dreams there he existed, holding and loving you, and each time you pleaded it was real when you wake up. Only to be left with the harsh reality that you ruined that chance of being tangible.

You beat yourself up every second you're alone. 

“I don’t know. It had only been two-three weeks of getting to know one another. I feel love is a strong word for that.” You tell her truthfully. “Did you love him when he was your online friend?” She inquires and your eyes travel over to your phone. “I had love for him. He was a close friend but can you fall in love with someone you technically never met?” You question, it was something you asked yourself quite a lot. Did you love Ma? Could you fall for someone you never saw face to face. Was that possible? And if it was, is it pathetic? 

“I think so, I mean you know who he is now. Is the feeling the same for both?” 

“Why are you interrogating me?” You ignore the last sentence, now feeling on edge on how deep this was getting. “Just curious.” She hums. “I don’t know the answer.” And truthfully you didn’t. 

Love? You don’t even know if you’ve ever truly loved someone. As time passed you believed you weren’t capable of loving someone more than a friend. With your exes it never felt right. In those relationships you were honestly miserable. No motivation, putting on a mask, and not being true to yourself. 

You couldn’t enjoy your interests. Your art is forgotten about.

With Ma… or Viktor. Both. That never happened. If anything you were more motivated.

In high school you stayed up until ungodly hours, painting, sketching out sculptures based on the sound of Ma’s voice. The colors you saw, the feelings you felt all put into your art. 

Specifically the crowd paintings you created. Crowds of people. Crowds of familiar faces but not the one you wanted to see. A face that you hadn’t gotten the chance to meet blurred out but facing you in each painting. Only one figure that stood there, staring back at you. No features attainable to recognize.

And you hated it. You wanted to know who it was.

“Wonderful ideas, wonderful models. I don’t think I’ve had such intelligent and creative students as I do this year. Take this time to inspect others' projects and mingle with one another.” Your biology professor tells the class, everyone of you standing up to his directions. 

Viktor and you stick together, unintentionally throughout the room. No words said between either of you.

You admire your fellow classmates' work, clicking through the slides on each laptop. Reading thoroughly through their slides. Silently gushing at the way they decorated their boards. Viktor observes you the entire time. 

The words of his friends stick in his mind. You don’t entirely seem upset? But if they had seen it themselves, surely they’re not lying to him. His eyes scanned your face closely. A hardened gaze, his jaw clenching subconsciously.

Did he want to see you upset? Why would he want that? To know you’re hurting just as much as he is? Would he wish that pain on someone he lo- he respects? 

No, he wouldn’t.

You look back at him with a polite smile. “Right?” His eyebrows furrow, confused. “What?” He asks hesitantly, his cheeks fell warm as he is put on the spot by you. You snicker. “I said, their work is so organized, maybe the two of you would hit it off.” You repeat, your breath now caught in your throat. Wondering if that was too friendly too soon. He glances over to the people’s work. 

It had no color, monotonous and tidy. Is that what you think of him? Bland, tasteless and… boring? 

His head bows down, a ghost of a nod. “Sure.” He dryly replies, unfortunately feeding into your worries. “Did I say something wrong?” You quietly inquire as you guys head to the next board. A clique of students pushing past you. 

“No?” He averts your eye contact. Was he actually upset that you think of him like that? 

“Oh.” You puff out your cheeks, not knowing what else to say.

The voices of others cover the awkward beats of silence between the two of you.

“Am I that mundane to you?” He was almost inaudible when he asked the sudden question. You cock your head to the side. Your mouth opens to answer but he lets out a scoff shaking his head.

“Don’t answer that.” He walks ahead of you. 

Mundane? Why would he think that? You pointed out the person’s tidiness because of how put together Viktor is. You admired that.

He preferred things a certain way, his room showed that. He still had a personality outside of that. His energy drew you in. The way he held himself, the enigmatic essence but also the familiarity you felt.

And now you know the familiarity was Ma. They were the same person.

Ma used to tell you about the moon and constellations for hours. He enjoyed star gazing. He enjoyed reading and learning about living beings. Their struggles. But also their potential to be more than who they were raised to be. 

He was far from mundane. Viktor was more than who he thought himself to be. In your eyes he was far better than perfect. There wasn’t a word for how you perceived him. Because every word seemed minimal in comparison to what you felt.  

“You found your muse?” You hear your professor behind you. You glare down at your paper then up to them. “What? No, look at this.” You express, lifting up the sketch and shaking it dramatically. “I am. It seems you found it.” They place a gentle hand upon your shoulder. 

You drew a crowd. Just like your millions upon millions of paintings posted on your instagram. How is a crowd of people your muse? Your eyebrows knit together and you look up to Dr. Shoola once more. “This is just a random sketch?” You say in more of a question. You were confused. You drew this often, but it’s not your muse. 

“You’re a silly one, [Name].” They pat your shoulder, moving onto Ekko’s sketch in front of you. Your eyes land back at the sheet of paper. Found your muse? Where?

You observed your own drawing. What are you not seeing?

This is short, I did it on purpose because twelve and thirteen are going to be longer. :) And honestly I do have a concussion and this took me hours. I probably shouldn't have been on my laptop the way I was but I had to post thisssss.

Two more chapters left.

Taglist: @policedeer @ang3lz-lov3 @im-just-a-simp-le-whore @confusedgemposts @corpsepies @almostdrowningdown @obittwo @ren-ni @xx-siren-sings-xx @donnie-is-here @urmommt

[k-nayee]

Muse Benson Boone

wc: 3.2k a/n: Song Inspiration: once again Death Wish Love by Benson Boone; recommend you listen while reading!! ngl y'all, I kinda have it down bad for ya boi here. smh just had to make one for him😭😭

Traveler M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

It wasn’t hard to remember the first time you met Benson Boone.

You hadn’t expected much from the day, just a casual introduction Katy insisted on making when he was fresh off American Idol.

I mean, the Katy Perry? Who were you to refuse?

Besides you weren’t exactly a seasoned pro yourself—still finding your own rhythm in the music industry.

And so, it started off with little things: drafts of songs, small tweaks here and there.

You helped him refine early tracks, most notably Ghost Town—the one that truly put him on the map.

After that he started coming to you more and more. As his fame grew, so did your friendship. Pretty soon you became one of his permanent co-writers.

Now years later, you’d both grown up around each other. You’d seen him go through breakups, career stresses, and moments of doubt.

And he’d seen you juggle college, deal with your own personal issues, and (more than once) whine about how finding a decent guy seemed impossible.

Benson would always chuckle at that and tease you with lighthearted remarks, but you both knew that dating wasn’t really something you prioritized.

Maybe it was because of your grandfather’s old-school advice—always reminding you that most men wanted one thing which was what was between your legs.

It was drilled into your head so much that even when someone did show interest, you were quick to put them off.

Benson had been the exception to a lot of your rules though. Him and that attractive boy-next-door smile and the messy curls....

Ahem. Anyways.

There was even a brief period of time (you 18, him 20) when you felt a flicker of something more.

You would be hyper-aware of his closeness, how your heart would skip when he leaned in too close. But you’d buried those feelings fast.

He was your friend and he didn’t need you complicating that.

Now at 19, you were over it. Whatever crush you’d harbored was long gone, and Benson seemed content with your dynamic too.

He had never shown any romantic interest in you—he was always tangled up in his own relationships. And you?

You had your songwriting, your studies, and your life to keep you busy. There was no room to think about him like that.

But things had a funny way of changing...

You were in the studio with Benson. He was sitting across from you, head tipped back as he stared up at the ceiling in frustration.

“I don’t know,” he mutters, finally breaking the silence, “I just feel like everything I’m writing sounds the same.”

You glance up from your laptop, eyebrow raised. “You’re in a funk. It happens.”

He groans in response, still staring at the ceiling. “Yeah but it’s more than that. I want to try something new...something different.”

You lean back in your chair and wait for him to elaborate. He sits up suddenly, eyes narrowing with thought before they flicker to yours.

“I’ve been thinking,” he begins before pausing for dramatic effect. “What if I tried something in the country genre?”

A surprised laugh escapes your lips before you can stop it. “Country music? You?”

He rolls his eyes in attempt to play it off as if it’s no big deal, but you can see the determination behind them. “Why not?”

You lean forward with a smirk. “Let me guess: bit by the Cowboy Cater bug, huh? Beyoncé's album got you feeling all rustic and rugged?”

He laughed a little flustered, shaking his head. “No it’s not that. I just—” He hesitated, and that’s when you caught it.

Beneath his usual confidence there was something else. Uncertainty.

Benson was never unsure when it came to his music, but this? It was new territory for him.

“I want to branch out, you know? Try something that’s different from what I’ve been doing.”

You watched him carefully, noticing the way his fingers drummed lightly against the armrest of his chair.

For all the joking, there was a frustration underneath it. He felt he wasn’t as creative as he usually was and it was bothering him.

After a beat of silence, you nod and cross your arms. “I get it. You’re ready to shake things up.”

“Exactly,” his expression relaxes a little as he saw you weren’t just teasing him anymore.

You pause when a spark of an idea hits you. “You know...I think I might know just the place to help kickstart your country boy era.”

His eyebrows lift. “Oh?”

A grin spread across your face.  “What if we went to my hometown? You’ll find all the inspiration you need there.”

There’s a beat of silence as Benson considers your offer, his lips curving into a soft smile. “You’d really take me down there?”

“Why not?” you say with a shrug. “Could be fun. And you’ll get all the authentic country vibes you’re looking for.”

He chuckles with a small nod. “Alright,” he said. “Let’s do it.”

You beamed, already buzzing with excitement. “Great! I’ll book everything. Trust me you’re going to love it.”

He smiled back, his gaze lingering on you just a second too long before he turned away. “I trust you.”

════════════════*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═════════════════

The moment you and Benson roll into your hometown, the air feels different.

It’s been a while since you’ve been back home, and the nostalgia washes over you in waves the closer you drive.

You catch Benson glancing out the window as if he's trying to soak in the vibe of the small Southern town.

After a few minutes of driving, he finally breaks the silence. “So...are we heading straight to the hotel?”

You glance at him with a sly grin. “Actually I’ve got a better idea.”

He raises an eyebrow intrigued but doesn’t press. He’s always trusted you, especially when it comes to things like this. 

It doesn’t take long before you’re pulling up to the familiar gates of Chickadee Country Club.

As the headlights sweep over the sign, memories of summer jobs, long shifts, and late-night laughs flood your mind.

Rolling down the window as you approach the security gate, the guard’s flashlight flickers over your car before the beam lands on you.

A wide grin breaks across the guard’s face the moment he recognizes you. “Well I’ll be damned! Ain’t that [Mom Name]’s girl? What you doin’ down here sweetheart? Thought you’d be up there with the big-time celebs writin’ them songs and whatnot.”

You roll your eyes already smiling. “Very funny, Earl. I’m here for a job.”

Earl lets out a laugh, his wrinkled face creasing in amusement. “A job huh? What, you run outta money already?”

“Ha ha, ya got me.” you say dryly, shooting him a sarcastic look. “Now will you let me through Earl? Or are you gonna keep me out here all night ya old coot?”

Earl chuckles as the gate slowly begins to open.

“Well since ya asked so nicely,” he drawls, flashing you a wink. “Don’t get lost now. Place ain’t changed much, but it still got a way of confusin’ city folk.”

As you pull through Benson snorts beside you. “Ran out of money huh?” he asks with a teasing grin as you park into the parking space.

You shrug. “Times are tough.”

Stepping out of the car, you glance back at him as he follows. “C’mon. I want to show you where the magic happens.”

Benson lets out a low whistle. “So this is where you worked?”

“Yup. Chickadee Country Club. I basically lived here for years.”

He raise an eyebrow as he get into step beside you. “So what did you do here? Let me guess—bev cart girl?”

You let out a loud laugh at that. “God, no. Everything else but that. Food running, banquet serving, bartending... you name it, I did it.”

“Bartending before 21?” His eyes widen slightly as he looks over at you. “But isn't that like—”

“Illegal?” You shoot him a mischievous smirk, leaning in just a little closer. “Just don’t tell anyone. Shhhh”

He lets out a laugh at that, the sound warm in the cooling night air.

Your smile soften at the sight, but before he could notice you brush it off and elbow him lightly.

“Welp! Who knows,” you jump a head of him with a pep in your step, “might even meet the love of your life here.”

Benson huffs with a shake of his head as he watches you head toward the glass doors of the club.

His gaze lingers, the fondness inside his chest growing the longer he watches you.

“Yeah,” he mutters to himself. “Hopefully.”

*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.* 

You push open the glass doors of the country club, stepping into the familiar scent of polished wood and faint lemon cleaner.

It’s closing time and the place is quiet, but you can already hear the distant chatter of a few late-night staffers finishing up for the evening.

Benson lingers behind you, eyes sweeping over the dark wood paneling and framed photos of golf tournaments long past.

“____! Well look what the cat dragged in!”

You barely have time to react before Mirabel, one of your old coworkers, rushes up to you with open arms.

She pulls you into a tight hug, her dark curls bouncing as she lets out an excited squeal.

“Mirabel!” you laugh as you hug her back. “Long time no see.”

Mirabel pulls away just long enough to look you up and down, her eyes sparkling with surprise. “Señorita where have you been? I thought you’d abandoned us all for the fancy Hollywood life!”

“Not quite,” you joke before perking up when your gaze fell on a familiar petite figure hunched over the computer nearby.

Taylor. She hasn’t changed a bit—still the same auburn ponytail bouncing behind her and freckles splashed across her pale skin like stars in the night sky.

You grab Benson’s arm in excitement as you whisper, “You want country inspiration right?”

Without waiting for an answer you pull him towards her.

“Taylor!” you call once close enough.

The redhead glances up, and for a split second, confusion crosses her face before recognition hits.

Her expression transforms and lights up like a firework. “Well slap my ass and call me a biscuit! ____! Where the hell have you been girl?”

Her thick Southern twang makes you giggle as you rush over to give her a tight hug. “I’ve been round! You know, making music and living that L.A. life. But I’m back for a few days to work on a new project.”

Taylor's green eyes brighten with curiosity. “Oh yeah? What kinda project?”

You glance back at Benson who’s offering a sheepish smile.

Before you can even introduce him, Taylor’s eyes widen and her jaw drops.

“Oh my God,” she's starstruck. “Benson Boone! I didn’t know you were friends with the Benson Boone!”

You suppress a laugh as Benson waves shyly. “Hi uh...nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet—girl, do you know how fine he is in real life?” Taylor mutters under her breath, though loud enough for you to hear.

You bite back a grin knowing full well that Benson heard it too by the way he flushes.

“Yeah I’ve noticed,” you reply with a wink, earning a playful slap on the arm from Taylor.

She’s just about to launch into another flurry of questions, the sound of fast-approaching footsteps catches your attention.

“My baby!” 

Before you can react, you’re snatched into a familiar embrace and smothered in kisses.

“Oh ____! My sweet baby!” Your mom’s voice echoes in the lobby as she holds onto you, her grip like iron. “When did you get here? You weren’t even gonna tell your own mama you were home?”

“Hey Ma...” you mumble, struggling to breathe as she finally pulls back.

Your mom’s tearful face quickly morphs into one of irritation, and before you can say a word, she smacks you upside the head. “Uh ow?”

“Now when the hell did you get here? And where are you even staying?” she demands, hands on her hips now. “You couldn’t even come stay at the house? What, you ashamed of where you were raised?!”

“Ma please,” you groan, already feeling the heat of embarrassment crawl up your neck as you catch Benson’s teasing gaze from the corner of your eye. “I just got in tonight, and I’m staying at a hotel because—well, there won't be any room at the house. I’ve got company.”

You gesture over to Benson who offers your mom an awkward wave. Her stern expression melts instantly the moment she sees him.

“Oh? And who is this handsome fella?” She strides over to Benson, sizing him up with a playful smile. Her hand reaches out to pinch his cheek. “You ____’s boyfriend?”

“Ma!” You practically shriek, feeling your face heat up.

“That’s Benson Boone Miss [Mom’s Name],” Taylor chimes in, still wide-eyed and giddy. “He’s like, one of the biggest artists right now. You know that song Ghost Town? That’s him!”

Your mom’s eyebrows shoot up, her smile widening with delight. She turns back to you with an amused glint in her eye.

“Oh Benson...Ain’t he that boy you used to gush about all the time? Didn’t you have the biggest crush on him or something?”

Your stomach flips and you feel like the ground just dropped out from under you.

'Did she really just say that?' You’re suddenly hyper-aware of Benson standing right beside you, and when you glance at him, you can see the surprise in his eyes.

He’s looking at you now, and it makes your pulse race.

“Wha—I—” you stammer, trying to think of anything to say that will save you from this situation. “I didn’t—psssh, what are you—” You wave your hand dismissively, avoiding Benson’s eyes completely.

“Anyway uh, Taylor!” You shift gears so fast you nearly give yourself whiplash. “I heard you’re throwing a party tonight. Mind if we crash?”

Taylor’s head perks up immediately, her excited energy pulling everyone back into a lighter mood. “Oh! You saw my post huh? Yeah we’re havin’ a get-together at the ranch. Y’all should definitely come!”

She turns to your mom. “Miss [Mom’s Name], you wanna join too?”

Your mom waves her off with a chuckle. “Oh honey, I’m not as spry as I used to be for these late-night things.”

Taylor leans in conspiratorially. “My single uncle’s gonna be there...you know, the one with the salt-n-pepper beard?”

Your mom raises an eyebrow. “The one with the big truck and cattle ranch?”

Taylor nods eagerly. 

Without missing a beat, your mom starts unties her apron and toss it onto a nearby table. “Well what are we waitin’ for then? Let’s get to that party!”

*.·:·.☽✧✧☾.·:·.* 

As you and Benson pull up to Taylor’s family ranch, the sounds of laughter and music spill into the air.

The party’s already in full swing—bonfires flickering across the open field and the twang of guitars blending with the rhythm of boots stomping on wooden boards.

You can see people dancing in pairs, moving in perfect sync as the night seems to pulse with life.

Benson stood next to you. His eyes dart everywhere, from the rows of fairy-string lights that hung between the trees to the smoky haze from the fire pits that slowly disappeared into the star-filled sky.

You can tell he’s taking it all in—the Southern atmosphere, the energy, the warmth of it all.

“Overwhelmed yet?” your tone is light when you ask with a grin.

He chuckles and shake his head. “Nah this is...different. In a good way.”

“Well get ready to be fully indoctrinated into Southern fun,” you tease before stepping toward the party. “Come on city boy.”

He follows behind you, staying close by your side.

There’s a brief pause when you both reach the edge of the party. It almost seemed like the music’s vibrations are in the air itself, buzzing with a wild kind of energy.

Taylor spots you immediately from where she’s mingling with some friends and makes a beeline for you. “Well look at what the wind blew in!” she exclaims.

In one hand she holds a light-up cowboy hat, and in the other, a bundle of glowstick necklaces. “Here y’all gonna need these.”

She places the cowboy hat on your head with a flourish and tosses a couple of glowsticks over Benson’s shoulders, the neon bands glowing faintly against his dark shirt.

Benson laughs, awkwardly adjusting the glowsticks around his neck. “What do you think? Do I look the part?”

You smirk, tugging the hat lower on your head. “You’re getting there. Just need to find you a pair of cowboy boots and you’ll be all set.”

Taylor nudges you with her elbow. “C'mon! What are y’all? Stalks of corn waiting to be shucked or sum? Get out there and have some fun!”

Letting out a laugh, you turn to Benson who’s watching the dancers with something like curiosity—and maybe just a hint of apprehension.

“You decide what you’re gonna write about yet wannabe-country boy?” You peer at him through your lashes, leaning closer so he can hear you speak over the loud music.

Your warm breath against his skin makes him shiver.

You miss the way his gaze flickers to your lips before darting back to your eyes, his cheeks flushing ever so slightly.

He clears his throat, trying to shake off the strange unexpected reaction. “Uh...n-not yet no.”

Your smile softens and you give him a reassuring nudge. “You’ll get there. You always do. Just let me know when inspiration strikes, ‘kay?”

With that, you give him a final playful wink before spinning away to join Taylor on the dance floor.

You’re immediately pulled into the rhythm of the music, laughing as Taylor spins you around.

From the sidelines Benson watches, standing next to your mom who has already struck up a conversation with someone nearby (but she kept an eye on him).

And honestly? He can’t take his eyes off you.

Under the string lights and with the bonfire flickering in the distance, there’s something different about you tonight.

You’re radiant, laughing freely as your face lights up with a glow that has nothing to do with the hat Taylor tossed on your head.

You move through the world so effortlessly, so full of life....

It was in this moment Benson realized just how much he enjoys your presence.

Yeah he always loved having you around, but now there’s something else—a shift, subtle but undeniable.

Lyrics begin to form through his mind, each word tied to the way you moved, to the weight of this new unfamiliar feeling.

How could something so delicate also be dangerous?

His heart beats a little faster, like he’s seeing you for the first time.

You glance back at him from the dance floor and something warm and unfamiliar settles in his chest.

I get so terrified that I’m gonna lose you...And I’ll die if I do...

You smile and wave him over, but Benson stays where he is. Instead he's frozen by this sudden, terrifying realization that he might be falling for you.

As if sensing what he was thinking, your mom nudges him gently. “Found your inspiration yet sweetheart?”

Her voice pulls him back to the present, but his gaze never leaves as you dance under the glow of the lights.

A soft, breathless sigh escapes him as he answers, his voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah...I think I have.”

It's a death wish love...

[gleefullypolin]

Another of my musings, shall we? Indulge me...

Today, let’s talk about why Cressida was never set up as a redemption story in Season 3, but simply as a lesson for our three main character leads…

I’ve seen a lot of discourse around the treatment of Cressida in Season 3, and I find it kinda funny because Cress has always been a side character and never a main plot point and it was very evident this season that it was still very much the case. In Season 3, she was what is known as a plot device. The point of a plot device is to jettison the main characters forward.

So, let’s look at how they used her to do that this season.

Eloise Bridgerton:

Cressida was a huge plot device in moving Eloise’s story along in a heavy way this season. El has been very close to being stuck in quicksand for a while now. What do we know about her character between S1 to now?

She doesn’t want to get married.

She believes that women are held back but is questioning her place in society and what to do about that.

She’s angry at Pen and feels betrayed by friendship currently.

So, when we last left her, her closest relationship ended because Penelope was Lady Whistledown, she realized she knew nothing about the one person she thought she was closest with, her belief that her say in the world as a woman was rocked, and the one connection with a man she ever had, Theo, dissolved before her.

She goes off to the country and meets up with Cressida, the one person who hates the person she also dislikes the most currently, who befriends her and thus we start the new season.

But in the story, Cress is now there to show Eloise a different side of the Ton. Eloise has always had a not so small issue…her mouth. It NEVER stops. She literally never shuts up. Pen was the type where she let her go on and on and on, and never stepped in to stop her. But Cress is like... Ok shut up, stop talking now and listen because bad shit is happening to me and I need you to hear about it.

And El finally saw that life outside the Bridgerton drawing room, was shit. Not every Mama will protect you from marriage you don’t want, not every word said at a ball stays between friends, and not every friend is welcomed by your family. El had to grow up this year. She had to learn that her family protected her from things others were subjected to.

El whispered in the ballroom about her brother helping Pen find a husband and that rumor spread like wildflower and El was quick to blame that on Cressida, only to find out that it was her own mouth that spread the rumor because she didn’t think, she just spoke loudly in the ballroom with no thought of consequence for her actions. And it was Cressida who had to point it out to her, Plot point made.

Cressida was desperate to escape a life her father was forcing her into. El could have easily been forced into marriage to a man thrice her age, but she was not. But she was still El. And El was caught up in her own worries with Pen/Colin suddenly announcing their engagement and she didn’t listen to Cressida’s concerns.  She didn’t see the desperation until it was too late, and Cress stood up and claimed she was Lady Whistledown.

It was only once Cressida, with no other alternatives left on her plate, and no loving parent to guide her, chose a path that led her to take actions against Pen/Colin by writing against the Bridgertons and blackmailing them that Eloise truly was forced to face herself and forgive Penelope and see the difference in how Pen wrote versus how someone with no remorse or responsibility held the quill. Plot point made.

But she then sees the difference in how Pen stands up and takes responsibility for her actions, faces consequences, holds her own as a woman of the ton and gives her back a bit of understanding that a woman can have a voice in the world. Now we see El facing that she has much to learn and going off into the world with excitement to find it.

Penelope Bridgerton:

Cress has always propelled Pen forward as a plot device, the evil queen who tortures the princess as the knight in shining armor comes to her rescue.

Case in point, Season 1, spills her drink, Colin to the rescue, I’m afraid I’m to escort Miss Featherington to the floor. Season 2, she tries to take Eloise from her, for her to be rebuffed, then she dances with Colin happily for him to only use her as a ruse to once again save Pen from Jack Featherington’s ruby scheme. And then Season 3, she does take Eloise from her, stands on her dress for Colin to chase after her, then tries to defeat her in her pursuit for Debling as a suitor.

All of these plot devices move Pen’s story forward. They have a purpose of either knocking her down a peg or by having a man dive in to rescue her thus making her feel important. This season ramped it up a notch as Cressida came after her true worth. Lady Whistledown. Sure, going after Debling was part of it, but one could argue that Debling was a red herring. Pen never truly cared about him. But Lady Whistledown was her true value.

Having Cressida take her prize, was the true crux of the plot device for Pen this season. Cressida stole her glory by claiming to be the one thing that Penelope truly felt she was worthy of. The power of Whisteldown. And once that was taken from Cressida by her proving to the Queen that Cressida was a fraud, once Pen felt she had beat her, Cressida struck the final blow in their showdown by trying to take away her worth and ruin her in the eyes of her family.

Having Cressida out her to her mother and then strike the blow to her new husband by demanding they pay her with blackmail and humiliation to destroy any hope of love and happiness that Pen had found was the final act of villainy in their story.

This was the part that Pen needed to propel her to take a stand, to allow her what she needed to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH and that she would not let this person take everything she loved away from her. She would not let Cressida deal the final blow in her life, her marriage, her family, her purpose. And it would not control her. And thus, she made her final move.

Colin Bridgerton:

Colin had a huge turning point with Cressida, and I did not see it coming. I will be honest when the scene came, I was like why the fuck are they wasting this scene between these two and he’s not having this conversation with this wife. But the more I sat on it the more it made sense because Colin couldn’t have this conversation with Pen. Because he was so hurt and so angry with Pen, he didn’t want to lash out and say mean things to her, but with Cressida, he didn’t care what he said to her. It was easier to say thing to someone he had no feelings for.

And thus, the blackmail conversation happened. Or Cressida/Colin’s Therapy hour was born. Because that plot point was exactly what happened. It was a way for us to hear Colin’s inner thoughts. In a book, it’s easy to know what the main character is feeling, because you read it. But in the show, you don’t get that intimate knowledge. Here we got to know what Colin was feeling.

He shared with Cressida that he left town wanting to hear from Pen, and when he didn’t, he withdrew from himself. He started to take away feeling, to hold back things he needed from others. He become Pod Colin! And then he talked to her about how Pen was treated by the Ton and by extension (CRESSIDA) He talked about loneliness and how that makes a person feel and for fucks sake he bared his soul.

And then he talked about how people pay this damned woman Whistledown to read what she has to say and boy if Cressida didn’t take 3 seconds to call him out for his whining and jealousy of his wife. Because that is what it was, and he recoiled as if she bit him. And thus, jealous Colin reared his ugly head. Plot point made.

And then Cressida, just like she had shown his sister, showed Colin, that outside the Bridgerton drawing room, life sucks. Cressida was able to hit him where things hurt, because she doesn’t care about Colin, she’s not Pen looking at him like he hung the moon, to Cressida, he’s just another spoiled Bridgerton. So, he gets to learn that you don’t always have a loving family to support you and welcome you back from mistakes and responsibility you don’t want with open arms. Sometimes your life just sucks, and you get forced to marry an old ugly man who wants 4 kids from you.

And then she charged him double for all her trouble and sent him home with his tail between his legs. Plot point made.

Colin now ready to accept that he failed, that he should have listened to his wife, and it was time to do things differently, returned to his wife perhaps ready to listen a bit more.

And thus, we see, that Cress was not a main character, she was there to propel our leads forward, to get them where they needed to be, and sometimes, just sometimes, the villain has to be the villain.

I’m not saying she will always be that, they did a good job making you feel sympathy for her this season, but this just wasn’t her season for redemption yet. Maybe in the future, but it wasn’t for Season 3.

[trendywaifus]

hey!! i saw that your reqs are open so i'd like to request hc of eula, hu tao, beidou and baal comforting their s/o who thinks that they're annoying and a burden because of their past relationships who made them believe that. e.g the s/o is afraid to talk about their interests because they feel like they're boring and annoying them. thank you so much in advance if you decide to write my request!! i hope the holidays are going well for you!

i like this one! remember everyone, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re a less of a person. you’re more than they will ever be and you deserve more respect. someone who truly who loves and appreciate you will prove it! doesn’t even have to be a special someone, it can be family and friends. i’m also here for you whenever you feel like you’re at your lowest. (sorry for any errors and whatever im sleepy!)

— eula understands how you feel. coming from a widely—hated clan without any outside support, use to do a number on her. you feel as though nobody isn’t interested in how you feel or your interests. they look at you from outside lens and judge you without personally getting to know the real you—she understands. but don’t worry, she’s here to listen and unfold everything you’ve been wanting to say. she’s not good at comforting others but since it’s you, eula will do her best.

— you think you’re a burden? nonsense, don’t ever think like that; you make her darkest days bright. your smile, your laughter, it’s always engraved in her mind each time she fights and dances under the moonlight. you are one of her main sources of motivation, remember that. she’ll protect you with her life if she has to.

“ (name), that’s rather interesting, i could see you doing that, “ she says with a warm smile as you shyly tell her one of your interests. “ why didn’t you tell me sooner? “ you play with your hands nervously, gazing into her curious eyes, “ well, i’m use to others disregarding my interests. so. .i don’t really bother anymore.”eula’s face cutely scrunches up to a look of disdain and reaches out to hold your hand, her gloved fingers gingerly skimming across your palm. “ how unreal. my love, perhaps you should tell me who these others are? shall i enact vengeance on them? “

— like with eula, she understands how you feel in the realest level. she’s like the clown of the town, constantly getting talked about, judged, all of that stuff. yes, there’s times where she felt alone but she remembers her grandfather, zhongli, the traveller, and the friends she met as she breathes each day. there’s also you, how could she forget you? her special someone she dreams of so often.

— so when you tell her that you felt like a burden to others and to her, her usual cheery mood is gone from her face and hu tao’s serious. she listens, uncharacteristically quiet as she soaks in your words about your history with individuals who showed a lack of interest in you as a person. despite what was told about hu tao, she is a great listener.

“ my butterfly, all of what they said isn’t true, not at all.” her palm touches your cheek tenderly, she frowns. “ your voice is gentle to the ears; it managed to reach down and warm the cold, darkest feelings i’ve buried deep within my heart.” hu tao leans in to kiss between your eyebrows and pulls back with her signature smile. “ aiyah, you’re my muse after all. “

— as someone who’s been fighting for her life ever since she was a child, she understands how cruel teyvat and the people can be. she had to fight for respect and people to look in her direction. but now, she is a powerful captain with an excellent crew. she also has an amazing partner, a invaluable treasure that she would never give away and will protect with her life.

— when you spoke about your hesitance at revealing your interest to others, afraid of being seen as boring and uninteresting, beidou was shocked however she quickly recovered and continue to listen to you until you were done. she tells you how much she loves you with that toothy smile of hers and empathizes with how you feel.

she takes you into her strong arms, rubbing your back in a smoothing manner. “ sweetheart, you’re a strong person for openin’ up to me. don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, you’ve impacted my life in a positive way, i look forward to seein’ and hearin’ you talk everyday about anything and everything. don’t give those fool’s words anymore weight in your head than they already have, let it all be dead weight that you gotta start sinkin. “

— ei would genuinely be confused. it’s more like why could anyone mistreat you when you’re such a wonderful being? no matter how much she pondered at the thought of it even happening, she thinks the possibility is close to 0 and if it does happen, she will wipe the poor soul from existence.

— she is rather ignorant to social cues and not very quick in noticing human behavior unless it’s fear and anger. you have no reason to fear her and there’s nothing she has done to anger you. but when you show clear reluctance in telling her about your past and feelings when asked, she was worried but patient. when you finally unravel everything, ei felt terrible. how could she had not notice the signs? after this, ei’s more obliged to be more attentive towards your needs.

“ i. . see. “ ei grabs your wrist and gently guides you closer to her. her other hand places itself on the back of your neck and she rests your head against her chest in a comforting manner. “ i’m ashamed that i did not ask you this sooner and not being aware of your struggles. i will do whatever i can to make you feel how you make me feel, dear beloved. that’s one promise i will keep until i fall victim to erosion. “

[redroses07]

Day Off // Deke Shaw

Deke Shaw x Fem!Reader

Summary: Reader is stressed out with shield agent life, and Deke encourages her to take a day off and discover earth with him.

W/C: 2k

Warnings: Kissing, violence, end of the world, yk just basic stuff.

A/N: Hey guys!! This took much longer to write than anticipated, my apologies I've been insanely busy recently. I've really been wanting to write for Deke though because there is a LACK of fics for him on this app. Anyways, I really hope y'all enjoy, love you guys! ₊˚⊹♡

You and your Shield team had finally arrived back from the future, and you were relieved to say the least.

Being trapped in an unfamiliar place was horrifying, not that you and your team hadn't been through worse.

Just because you were back didn't mean you were in the clear, and discovering Daisy was the one who was going to cause the destruction of planet earth only made things more distressing.

Even though Daisy didn't currently have her powers you could see the fear in her eyes. You were worried for her, and so was the rest of your team. You had all been working tirelessly to stop the end of the world, and as important as it was the exhaustion was beginning to catch up to you.

Right now you were heading down the hall to meet with your team about the ever concerning anomalies that had been appearing in the lighthouse.

As you rounded the corner you felt yourself slam into something...or rather someone.

"You okay darling?" The all too familiar voice mused from above you.

Deke, the boy from the future. With his gray eyes and rugged features, who you had somehow managed to fall for. You knew he felt the same, but between the plethora of near death experiences the two of you hadn't had time to address your feelings.

"Shit! Deke, I'm sorry." You jumped back, examining where you had slammed into him.

Thankfully there was no noticeable damage.

You ran your hands through your hair, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Hey, it's okay! It barely hurt!" Deke spun around quickly, and did a silly little dance.

"See, I'm in tip top shape." He put on a goofy smile, causing you to give him one in return.

"Where are you off to?" Deke asked, you forgot that the team didn't always include him in their meetings.

"Oh, just, uh, meeting Daisy and everyone,"

"But I honestly just need a break, I'm so tired of running around all the time."

You leaned against the wall, the stress you were under feeling heavier than the weight of the world.

Deke gave you a sympathetic smile and lightly squeezed your hand.

You began to lean into him, and you began to feel as if you were handing him some of the stress you were carrying.

"Hey I have an idea." Deke exclaimed, taking your hands and turning you to face him.

"You should spend the day with me!" He suggested, his face just beaming with excitement.

"Deke...I don't know, they're expecting me-"

"Please! If they ask, just tell them you got sick or something." Deke pleaded, giving you the saddest puppy dog eyes you had ever seen.

You thought for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of your decision. Yes, you would waste the day having fun when you could be helping your teammates. Although, you would be getting a much needed recharge, and with your favorite person at that. And by the way, how could you say no to that face?

"Okay fineee." You gave in.

Deke pumped his fist in the air with excitement, earning a laugh from you.

"Oh my god, you can show me all of the cool earth things I've been wanting to try! Like every flavor of ice cream, and football! You know, since I only got here like a week ago.."

You truly didn't understand why he got on everyone's nerves so much. He was just excited to have a chance at living the life he always dreamed of in the future, and there was honestly something so refreshing about that. Deke didn't take advantage of anything, because he knew what it was like to have nothing.

"Of course, let me get dressed and then we can go. We've gotta be sneaky about it though."

"You've got it babe." Deke replied, shooting your finger guns and a wink. You rolled your eyes and walked off.

Once you got changed out of your casual clothes, and packed a small bag you hurried to meet Deke outside. You were sure to dodge any Shield Agents that were coming your way.

When you arrived at the exit, Deke was already waiting. When He saw you he excitedly pulled out a notebook and flipped to a specific page.

"I made a list of everything I want to do today! I know we might not be able to do it all but i put little stars next to my favorites." Deke pointed to the tiny stars he had drawn next to several items on his, not so short to do list.

"You make me laugh you know that?" You said, snatching the notebook from his hands to look over it.

"Is it too much?"

"No, It's perfect." you looked up to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, causing his cheeks to turn a bright pink shade.

"Okay lets go!" You pulled him behind you as you headed toward your car that was parked in the nearby parking garage.

"I think this is my first time in one of these." Deke exclaimed as you drove towards your first destination.

"Well, is it everything you dreamed it would be?"

"Honestly, it's kinda underwhelming."

You let out a laugh, quickly turning to the side to make eye contact with Deke who was also laughing.

"I totally agree."

When you arrived at your first stop, Deke was practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"You brought me to the beach?"

"I noticed that one had two stars next to it." you replied, pointing to the notebook laying on your console.

"I know it's not warm enough to get into the water, but we can at least walk on the sand and put our feet in."

"Are you kidding? This is amazing." Deke reached over into the driver's seat and hugged you tightly.

He quickly jumped out of the car and started racing towards the shore.

"Be careful! It's easy to fall on sand." You called, remembering how you had to get used to the way your feet sunk into the sand when you were a child.

Just as the words escaped your lips Deke fell face first into the sand.

Your heart raced worriedly as you rushed over to see if he was okay.

"Oh my god! I told you to be careful!" You snapped, leaning down to examine Deke who was still laying flat in the sand.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Deke rolled over, spitting sand out of his mouth.

You reached out your hand and helped him up, rolling your eyes as you did.

"Please watch yourself from now on." You said, refusing to loosen your grip on his hand.

After that care, not that the two of you hadn't gone through worse, you kept Deke close.

Were you really concerned, or were you using it as an excuse? That wasn't a question that needed to be answered.

As the two of you strolled towards the sore, hand in hand, you couldn't help but let your mind wander. Wander back to the unspoken feelings between the two of you. It's not as if nothing physical had ever happened between the two of you, holding hands and cuddling wasn't uncommon and you had even shared a kiss a few times, but nothing was ever really discussed.

Now was your long awaited chance, just the two of you, without impending doom hanging over your heads.

Well for the moment at least.

"Hey Deke..."

"mhm?" Deke stopped and looked up at you, tracing his thumb over your palm as he did.

"You know how I feel about you right?"

"What?"

"Everything that's happened, it's not just nothing. I really like you, just between the end of the world and time traveling I don't think I've remembered to tell you." You said all this without taking your eyes off Deke's.

You loved the way he looked at you, with such adoration.

For once, Deke didn't respond with his words but rather his actions. Without hesitation, he cupped your face and pressed many kisses to your lips, cheeks, and forehead.

He stopped to look at you, a giddy look on his face.

"Wait? So are we like, boyfriend and girlfriend now?" Deke said half jokingly.

"Only if you want to be." You got your answer when Deke kissed you again, this time with much more force. It was unlike any of the other kisses you two had shared, there was a sense of raw emotion behind it that hadn't been there before.

On your walk back to the car you leaned comfortably into Deke, no longer needing to worry about if it was 'too much'.

You began driving to your next activity, something that was a favorite of yours that you hoped he would really enjoy.

You pulled into the parking lot of your favorite dockside diner, and you could already smell the greasy french fries, and sizzling burgers. You watched as couples and groups of teens strolled down the dock, holding ice cream cones from the shop nearby.

Once you and Deke walked inside you found a waiter to get you a seat. You were seated quickly, and ordered drinks.

"So, is this somewhere you come a lot?"

"Yes, this is my favorite restaurant, and you haven't lived if you haven't had greasy American diner food."

Deke looked around at the place, excitedly examining everything. Once it came time to order, Deke couldn't decide between a bacon cheeseburger or chicken and waffles, so you agreed to get both and have half each.

Once your food arrived, you both ate quickly. Deke continuously snatched fries from your plate, stating each time that it was his last one. You ended up having to swat his hand away, claiming the rest of the fries.

Once you were finished you paid the bill and led Deke out to the dock.

You noticed him eyeing the ice cream parlor, so you asked him if he was up for dessert.

He happily agreed and ordered as many flavors of ice cream as they could fit on the cone. You doubted all those flavors would even taste good mixed together but as long as it made Deke happy.

You walked slowly down the dock, ice cream in one hand, and Deke's hand in the other.

At this point in the day the sun was beginning to sink below the clouds, and the temperature had dipped even lower. You realized you had forgotten to bring a jacket, as you had not planned to be out this late.

You began to shiver, and Deke took notice quickly. He pulled off his jacket, the one he wore nearly every day and offered it to you.

"Well won't you be cold?" you protested.

"Nah, temperatures were crazy in space, a little wind doesn't bother me."

You gave him a sympathetic smile and allowed him to wrap the jacket around your shoulders.

You decided to end your day sitting at the end of the dock and watching the sun sink between the clouds. Deke slipped his hand around your waist as the stars began to fade into view.

"It's so beautiful here, there weren't many beautiful things to look at where I used to live."

This filled you with sadness, and reminded you of the suffering Deke experienced his whole life.

"Deke, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to live a life like that." You whispered softly, nuzzling your nose into his neck.

"Well it may have sucked, but you know what? It led me to you."

You looked up to make eye contact with your boyfriend. He tucked a few loose pieces of hair behind your ears, and kissed you on the forehead.

"And you are more beautiful than all the stars in the sky combined."

Taglist: @nikki-is-a-nerd @somestardeww

[quinloki]

Sabo - Control / Obedience (+ Ace)

Reader style - she/they, afab (No pronouns were used in the final result) Time slot - Business Hours Client Name - (⌐■_■) Anonymous! CW: Clothed Massages

Seated in a private room with two young hosts, you were in the midst of a very relaxing situation. Ace’s hands were working the knots out of your shoulders - even through your blouse his warm hands and the skill he had learned was doing wonders. The couch you were seated on had a lower than usual back, but the cushions were firm, and it was easy to lean into it while he worked.

Knelt on the floor at your feet, one of them in his hands, Sabo was carefully massaging your foot.

“Doing alright down there?” Ace questions, grinning down at Sabo.

“Quite.” Sabo’s answer is a little curt, but there’s a bright smile on his face.

“I can get you a cushion.”

Sabo’s bright smile twitches, warm fingers pushing into the sole of your foot a little more roughly than he probably meant, but not nearly enough to be discomforting. “I haven’t the need, thank you.”

“Not too uncomfortable for someone as delicate as you?”

“Sabo are you uncomfortable?” You question, an amused note in your voice.

“I’m hardly delicate.” He huffs. “And I’m not uncomfortable. I just don’t understand why you let that brute grind your shoulders into dust with his technique.”

You can feel Ace’s fingers twitch, the heat in his palms getting warmer for a second before he calms down. “Second guessing the client’s requests isn’t very gentlemanly, Sab.”

“I’m not second guessing, I’m asking for clarification.”

You know the bickering between them is part of their deal. You’ve seen the two of them outside of the club a few times, where they lived and where you lived was close enough, but somehow they managed to shift into things so naturally you could easily believe it all.

Enjoying the banter was part of why you set up appointments with both of them so often. Plus it was really hard to just pick one or the other. They were both almost frustratingly hot.

“Clarification huh,” you muse, reveling in your position and control, flexing your foot a little and grinning down at Sabo. “Alright.”

You leaned back against the couch a little further, truly looking down at Sabo, practically leering. You could see that gentlemanly facade of his crack a little, but he didn’t complain about your position, or pause for that matter.

“You’re always such a prim and proper gentleman, Sabo, the idea of having you on your knees beneath me like this was too good to pass up.” You admit, a little bit of haughtiness in your tone.

You wiggle your toes teasingly when Sabo stops, and he clears his throat, resuming his work on your foot. He's silent for just a few more seconds, a rare moment where you're certain he's measuring his reply before committing to it.

“Perhaps you’d like to come visit us after hours, some day.” He muses, setting your foot down.

“Oh?” You hum, delighted to get an official invitation.

Sabo stands up, taking your offered hand in his, kissing the back of it as he is want to do more often than not, and flashes you a smile that promises far more depravity than his words.

“Indeed, I would love to show you just how skilled I am on my knees, seeing how much you enjoy it.”

One Piece Host Club AU drabble event runs through December 2023

[evanave]

Everybody waits for Christmas For me it's New Year's Day That's gonna come and take my blues away

And everywhere there's joy around this festive time of year And happiness has never felt so far away

It's only seven days till Christmas Six more till New Year's Day It's not a good time to feel this way

Everywhere the snow surround you And melt your troubles away I can only hope to feel the same

I remember how I used to feel at Christmas

— 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑'𝐒 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐛𝐲 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐒

[themuse-if]

Another 20 (or so) Questions with Faye Winters

Interviewer: Welcome to another installment of our character interviews, where we dive deep into the lives and minds of our favorite cast members of The Muse. Today, we have Faye Winters with us, a contemporary dancer who can shape clay as fluidly as she shapes her body. Faye, thank you for joining us. Could you start by telling us what made you want to pursue dance and sculpting?

Faye: I've always felt a deep connection to movement and expression. Dance, especially contemporary dance, allows me to convey emotions and stories in a way that words cannot. And sculpting is a whole other thing! It allows me to create the human form in a single beautiful moment. It's so interesting to create something stationary that contains so much movement.

Interviewer: How do you want to be seen by others?

Faye: Honestly sometimes I wish that I could pick and choose when I'm actually perceived.

Interviewer: Ok...could you elaborate on that?

Faye: I'm naturally pretty extroverted and I really love being around friends, old and new. I've just been really struggling to navigate my relationships, peoples expectations, their assumptions about me. I don't like conflict but no matter what I do it seems to find me.

Interviewer: I see the more people you let in the more complicated life can become. How about your art, how do you want it to be seen by others?

Faye: Sometimes I really shy away from just letting my true emotions show, It's not that I'm not actually a cheerful person, I just don't know if people will like the other parts of me. When I dance...it's like I'm still me but since I'm performing I can put my whole self into it and not be afraid of being harshly judged for who I am. If someone feels the need to critique my work that's one thing, but when they judge my character then it actually hurts. *starts fiddling with her hair* Uh I'm not sure if that answers your question.

Interviewer: No, I understand. You want people to see all of you through your work even the parts your afraid for them to see. So what do you look for, what traits do you value most in a friend?

Faye: Authenticity. I value friends who are genuine, who accept me for who I am and who I can be myself around. I might have a really big social circle, but I've actually only got a few friends that truly understand me and make me feel safe.

Interviewer: Mhm that checks out. So, what is your latest obsession?

Faye: I've been baking even more recently. I'm trying to perfect some recipes before I start my blog. Mmm struggling to come up with a name for it though. Let me know I you think of something. *reveals the most charming smile*

Interviewer: *grins back* I'll start brainstorming ASAP! Ok could you describe your ideal partner?

Faye: *starts chewing on her bottom lip, lost in thought* I mean I don't have a type. I think that I just gravitate towards people that make me feel at ease. Chemistry should be natural, like I want them to be my best friend, but I also want to feel butterflies and be a bit nervous around them.

Interviewer: Alright, and what was your first kiss like?

Faye: *chuckles to herself* It was my eighth grade spring formal. I went with my friend Gabriella who I had a secret crush on. We were young and I was still figuring myself out, my sexuality my gender identity. She was so cool and I had a crush on her for a while but I wasn't sure if she liked girls. I wasn't even sure if I liked girls until we kissed. We were just going as friends, but the DJ (aka Mr. Harrison our English teacher) just kept playing slow songs and we still wanted to dance. So on the fifth slow song in a row we were swaying gently she was really locked in on my eyes. I suddenly felt brave and went in for a little peck. She didn't shy away, it was sweet. I didn't stop smiling for the rest of the night.

Interviewer: That's honestly too cute. It's nice that your first have left such a sweet memory. Ok next question. Have you ever been in love?

Faye: *lets out the deepest sigh* I think you already know the answer to that. *she closes her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose* Yes I have been in love.

Interviewer: *clears their throat* Sorry about that...I don't think you'll like this next question either. When was your last relationship, and why did it end?

Faye: *covers her face with her hands* Uh god I really hate this. Ok, ok fine. You already know that Karla and I were together until recently, but hey I might as well tell you the whole story. We had a class together fall semester freshman year, Art-107: 2D Fundamentals. It's one of the core classes for Studio Arts. Anyways along with the obvious drawing assignments we also spent a lot of time taking field trips to galleries and museums. I had already noticed Karla in class but, she really stood out to me on those days...usually she would walk around with her headphones on, she seemed to be in a world entirely her own. Anyway, one day we were looking at the same piece and next thing I know she says, "You know we've been standing here for the last twenty minutes, and I haven't thought about anything except that you smell like lavender, honey, and sunshine." And then she just smiled at me...it was the most soft and unassuming expression. It's like she didn't have up any walls, she had a thought and just said it without worrying about it. She drew me in instantly. I never told her this, but I fell for her right then and there. At first everything felt so easy between us. Karla has this quiet confidence that just made me feel so secure in her, in myself...in us. *she lets out a bitter laugh* Then as usual when life starts getting to good obstacles come out to play! Long story short one of our "friends" started trying to drive a wedge between us. At the time I didn't realize it or want to believe it, but I think he was interested in me so he was always around and acting a little more than friendly. I tried to just brush it off as a little innocent crush. One day we were hanging out together waiting on Karla and next thing I know he's kissing me. *the interviewer's eyes go wide already knowing where this is going* Yeah...Karla had just walked in. Even though she saw me push him away. Even though I told here it was completely one sided she just didn't want to deal with the drama. And that was that.

Interviewer: Well fuck. That's really shitty. I can't even imagine having someone I thought was my friend do that to me.

Faye: Yeah it was really messed up. Sorry for rambling...I just wanted to get it off my chest, I'm so tired of people asking me about it. Now I just want to try and move on. But of course I haven't stopped thinking about her, not even for a single day.

Interviewer: I can imagine...sorry this next question almost feels to light hearted in comparison.*Faye shrugs signaling them to continue* What’s your ideal Friday night?

Faye: *she cracks a smile* Your right this is a rather light transition. Ok so my ideal Friday night would start with a sunset picnic. Just eating some yummy snacks, listing to music and being out in nature. Maybe we'll dance in the grass or just lay around and talk.

Interviewer: That sounds like a fantastic evening. What’s the last song you listened to?

Faye: "If You Were Mine" by Minova.

Interviewer: I'll have to give it a listen. How do you behave in a relationship?

Faye: In one word giving. I really like doing things for my partner. Curating sweet little gifts and dates keeping in mind how well I know them, in my opinion, is the best way to show them how I feel.

Interviewer: Do you approach those you’re interested in or let them come to you?

Faye: I think it's definitely a bit of both. I'll definitely approach someone first if it seems like they're on the shy side. Until I turned fourteen...maybe fifteen I was pretty awkward, but then I just decided to start accepting myself and putting myself out there.

Interviewer: What is your biggest pet peeve?

Faye: I really hate liars. Especially if you're lying about someone else. Like, why would you drag someone else's name through the mud.

Interviewer: What do you notice first about a person?

Faye: Their energy and presence. It's not that I believe in auras or anything, but people really do give off unique vibes.

Interviewer: What did you dream about last night?

Faye: Nothing that I can remember, thank god! I did watch a suspense movie right before bed, so I was sleeping with the lights on.

Interviewer: *lets out a light chuckle* Well Faye this has been an absolute pleasure, but I believe that’s all the time we have for today. Thank you so much for coming in and sharing more of your story with us!

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

OK so hello! I saw that your asks were open and I wanted to take this precious opportunity to ask you about four aspects I find most challenging in my chart.

Moon square Neptune (0 orb)

Venus opposite uranus

Venus opposite lilith

Mars opposite Jupiter

Thank you! If you feel that this is too much, you can cover only one or two of them!

Moon square neptune can show with someone having illusions covering their emotions. Not truly knowing how they feel and feeling uncertain in that. The best way to over come up is through allowing yourself to accept that not everything we feel is 'real' or even our own emotions. Because you can actually be taking in other peoples emotions and mirroring back to them. People can also be projecting how you feel based of how youre acting and this can cause issues with other people. Learn to take your emotional energy and guard it from others cause they can use you as a emotional trash bag if you aren't careful.

Venus opposite Uranus

Embracing your inner desires and expressing them can create something bountiful. Your eccentric ideas need a little tweaking when it comes to your personal style. Youre dating life might change often depending on who your dating, bringing in new insight for you to learn from. Expanding your horizons with your style, love life and artistic values will open up new portals for you to try. This actually a really exhilarating placement. You can be ahead of your time on a lot of hair styles, clothes, etc and could end up being a muse. If youre not into that, this could show it self with what you value for yourself. The way you view self love is odd in terms of what the rest of society thinks, overall it works for you and is actually more beneficial. You may have people think youre a bit weird, overtime they'll come to like you a bit when they see that you just flow differently and are a one of a kind in the way you think, and express yourself.

Venus oppose lilith

This shows me a person who can be seen as a 'whore' but genuinely a likable one at that. Jealous people obsess over you because of your sexuality and your magnetism. You might not even be the most sexiest individual however your aura arouses others into submission. Yes submission lol. People are aware of your power over them and want to dominate you, but it doesnt work out in the way they plan. Both men and women want to date you or 'tame' you. You could be a spectacle to others if not careful. I could see someone with this placement attracting both sexes and being 'experiments' for them. Bringing out their sexual nature that they hide in the shadows, and then blaming you for it. People feel ashamed when their around you because their own inner desires come out when they are near you. So they may paint you to be the 'devil'. Transformative sex is a thing with you guys, you tend to bring this energy out with you youre involved with and they leave not the same. Motherly energy is present with this placement too, but you hide it from others so they cant use you.

Mars opposite Jupiter

This is a special placement to be honest. It can be quite challenging but the truth is you're personal power needs a push with more optimistic beliefs to keep the train rolling. When your thoughts are pessimistic it lowers your drive and passion. These two work extremely well together when you move with resilience and tell yourself that what you want can be achieved. Goals should be large never think to low about what it is you want. Can make an abundance of money with this placement you just have to see the plan through.

hope this helps <3

[the-haunted-office]

What do you wish other writers in the RPC would do more often?

Describe any thread you’d like to write!

Want Meme for the Muns

What do you wish other writers in the RPC would do more often?

It's really hard for me to put into words, because it all comes down to your crowd and who you choose to interact with. But for me, personally, what I wish? In the RPC in general, I wish people would show more appreciation for their writing partners, if they are ones they truly enjoy interacting with and want to keep around and want them to keep posting content for them to enjoy. I mean, we're all here for the same reasons - to share our characters and content with others, and to play our muses together, but it can be really discouraging when you feel like you're just... shouting into the void and you share things with people and you don't even get so much as a "like" on the things you share. It makes you feel ignored and like there's no point.

But, it all comes down to finding your crowd, you know? Because the people who enjoy you and who appreciate you, will show that they do. I think it takes so little time to show that you appreciate someone's presence on your dash, and that can make all the difference in the world. It takes just a couple seconds to hit the "like" button, a couple seconds to send in a headcanon ask, a few minutes of your time to respond to someone's open starter. It takes so little to make your writing partners feel seen and appreciated. I wish people would do more of that for each other.

Describe any thread you’d like to write!

fdasfasf EVERYTHING ALL THE THINGS. We have so many threads going and I love them all. xD Dead serious about that! I'm just so happy to have people writing with me, all threads make me happy!

A thread I'd really like to write, hmm... I would really like Ed and Doom to be able to share more about themselves with each other. There's so much for them to talk about, I'm just not sure how to get them there. I'm sure it'll come up when the time is right. I'd love to have Ed meet Doom's niece, Mae, too!!! That's one I definitely want to write. x3

[lostusagis]

@jiraipink asked:

"The first thing I noticed about you? Well... When I first met you, I remember accidentally bumping into you and thinking 'Oh he's really pretty.' Eheheh. That's probably normal for you to hear, right? I'm sure most women think that when they see you. However..." She cups her chin and stares down at his boots. The memory comes as a welcomed old friend through the door. A bashful, yet warm smile on her face when thinking fondly of that moment when he obliged to partake in her stupid prank and then looking both concerned for her and confused after his mistake. An honest idiot. A cute honest idiot. "What drew me in was... your willingness to help me. How you... didn't abandon me when I was in desperate help. How you expressed concern over my wellbeing."

A laugh suddenly escapes her as she scratches behind her head awkwardly. "Ahahaha! Th-Though, we ended up hating each other that day because of what I said, I honestly appreciated how you decided to show me a place where I could stay and didn't leave me alone since then.... I was really scared all by myself in this world, Mui. I was even scared of you admittedly, but... You didn't leave me there to die, despite you not liking me very much." She lowers her hand away from her head and twiddles her thumbs. Her gaze blinking slowly at the jewelry she's wearing on her fingers. They were the same ones she wore the day that they met.

"So even though my first thought was that you were pretty, the first impression you TRULY left on me that I noticed about you was... How kind you are." Funny, right? Especially how he acted towards her after attempting to help her. Yet, the reality was that he was kind to Namida when willing to assist her. It was as if... he was always meant to help her, because of how natural and casual he complied to her. She recalls feeling bad for saying something insensitive as a defense mechanism which led to their rocky relationship. Could... things have been different between them had she just trusted him from the get-go?

Oh how grateful she felt indeed to have met someone who could help her not get lost and not make her feel alone. He was someone who always distracted her of such lonely and homesick thoughts whenever they bickered or teased each other. Even now, he continues to help her. So so much. More than he knows. Cherished memories that evoke positive nostalgia. It was at this time she looks up at him with a shimmer in her amethyst eyes; staring at him for a brief moment of silence. Her black platform shoes then slowly leaning up on the tips of her toes and...

Chu~ ♡

Her pink glossy lips blesses his forehead with a gentle kiss that lingered there for a few more seconds. When she pulls away, her feet are planted flat again and she whispers with the most sweetest smile only Kamui can manifest. "Thank you, Kamui... Thank you for not giving up on me." (Bye I'm about to cry FUCK-)

what’s the first thing your muse noticed about mine? 

Kamui was definitely really interested in the first thing Namida noticed about him, although he wasn't too fond of the fact that they didn't get along when first meeting.....

Although, when she says the first thing she noticed was how pretty he was, Kamui couldn't help but smile. ''I do get complimented on my appearance a lot yeah, but I only like it when I hear it from you. It meant more from Namida because he knew her, and valued everything she thinks above all else. If she didn't think he was attractive, he'd probably be really bummed out over that. Kamui definitely knew she was complimented a lot herself. She was probably the most beautiful girl he's ever seen. Although, other guys..... looking at her the way he did.... Made him annoyed.

She was talking and he just kept thinking that when looking at her, but he had been listening intently to every word she'd say. He ended up really surprised when she'd say how kind he was. Namida mentioned kind things he did for her, and he'd feel.... embarrassed.

He didn't like being called kind, he was used to be referred to as scary, intimidating.... things like that. Not kind. No one ever called him kind.

She was calling him kind. She thought he was kind....

Well, he thinks about it.... she was the only one he didn't act awful towards, he treated her like he treasured her a lot, which was true. He did. She was important to him. But being called kind.....

He'd look down, cheeks red from the way his image was being ruined.

Kind... he was kind. Not intimidating. He was pouting over this. Although, when she went ahead and kissed his forehead and whispered what she did his eyes widened. Then looking at her silently for a few seconds. He was just..... astonished.

Namida thought these things about him. Thought he was kind.

Kamui pulled her towards him, keeping a grip on her wrist.

''You think that even after seeing me kill? Seeing me lost control?'' He questions, wanting to know.

''I hope you know, even when I am in control, I still kill. I enjoy it too. I find it fun. I'm not going to lie and hide it from you. I'm a bad person, and you think I'm kind? You can still say I'm a kind person after me telling you that?''

He'd look at her completely seriously, he wanted her to at least know that if she really wholeheartedly thought he was kind. If she can still say he was kind even after finding that out, then... well... he'll think she was crazy. But he'd probably like her even more because of that.

[queenharumiura]

👍👌 ;)

[👍👌 ask the mun what they think about portrayals/you (the sending mun)] ||Accepting|| @voraxiia

Let's see... my opinion on your muses/portrayals... can't speak on portrayals because they're all OCs, so it's not like I can judge portrayals based off accuracy by any means, but I certainly can say a thing or two about the characters themselves-- I can try to, anyways.

From recollection, the muses of yours that have appeared on my blog are: Xiao Yao, Dalbar, Miceli, and Luca in order of least interaction to the most.

Xiao Yao isn't on your current roster list, and this was like 4 years ago so unfortunately I don't really remember much about him aside from the fact that he was tall and blond so Haru mistook him for Dino from behind kekeke.

Dalbar seems to be a cute lil dude. A lil quiet, but I do have a certain soft spot for that //motions to some of her silent/less talkative muses. He gave me the feel of an obedient guard/attack dog or something. I feel like he's just someone who would grow on me because like-- he might be the same height as me, and he just seems to be a good natured lil dude. Ignore the fact he's an assassin, HE GUD BOI!

Miceli-- my immediate thought when I think about him is: GRRRRRRR what kind of evollll will he invoke on Haru this time? Is he going to be mean to her and say something sarcastic? Maybe he'll just piss her off somehow gr grrrrrrr. Of course, this isn't to mean that I dislike him, I find him fun. It's amusing having someone who irritates Haru in the Varia verse- and that's mostly anyone. Miceli is starting to grow on her though with the repeated interactions and such. He may be rude to her at times, by saying sarcastic things, but he has moments of showing some level of interest/concern for her? Though, Haru can tell that he's not really interested in her in a way that matters. She gets the feel that he has interest in the way that a scientist does when performing an experiment and something goes wrong and he goes ??? I can relate. //Sad and annoyed chemist noises. As his lil bio blurb says, he is a mysterious one, and the air of his mystery is maintained well. It's a lil harder for me to get a grasp on him as a character, and I think that's what makes it interesting and yet difficult to write with him at times, as I'm not really sure who he is to understand him kekekek. A fun puzzle!

Luca, MY SWEET BOI. WHO I BASICALLY HAVE PARTIAL CUSTODY OVER AT THIS POINT. I adore him very much. MY LIL BBUUUUU!!!! I do know that he's a pretty complex kinda guy and that he has his... issues, but he does do his best! He's been through things and I just want to give him a BIIIIIG hug! He's not allowed to get hurt! The only kinda pain I'll accept is forehead flicks and 'oh look I just killed Haru/Ravein because I wanna see the world burn!!!' 8D Alas... Blaise is a coward and won't let me hurt Haru/Ravein (1000% joking). I think i've seen him absolutely lose it maybe once or twice in the years that we've known each other and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Ehehe~ It's my secret aim to not only get to know him better through interactions/memes but to also make him snap again. I LOVE to see variation in behaviors, so making him snap is a treat. Of course, I still love gud boi Luca who is a pair with the other 'dumber' Ravein. Haru truly has so much to deal with whenever the trio gets together kekw. He is the only one aside from Tenka's Bel and my OC Ravein that Haru feels comfortable with. She's actually affectionate towards all 3 and cares for them. Anyone else, it's just Eh- you exist and I don't really care for you much. He just has the kind of personality that meshes well enough with her that it sparks her protective instinct and the doting energy that Haru has to have regardless of the verse. I love him for that.

-----------------------------------------------------------

How I feel about Blaise--

HELLO MY SWEET!

MY DARLING BLAISE!

We've known each other for years now and though interactions have been on and off during those years, we did still talk OOC quite a bit. So, I feel like, I'd be comfortable in saying yeeeee we friends outside of RPC.

Time differences are truly the bane, however. We both work, and with the field that you're in, it's understandable that you aren't always online or have the bandwidth to talk much.

STILL! The moments you are able to sit down and talk, you've always been just the sweetest lil bean.

I don't think I've ever admitted this to you before--- but better late than never AMIRITE? So we've been mutuals with each other for quite a while now even if it was rather on and off. From my recollection, we were mutuals but didn't really start interacting with eachother until a while into our friendship, likely due to schedules being really busy and what not.

It was also a time when you kept jumping from one blog to another blog so it was a lil hard to keep up with you at times. STILL, the main point is regardless of how many times you've jumped blogs (and you and I both know there's been a number of that over the years), you always did follow me consistently and that's always meant a lot to me.

I've hinted at things here and there in meme answers or conversations i've had with people but I've never actually sat down and spoke about it. I've come extremely close to quitting KHR RPC twice. The first time was when I first joined the RPC (back in like 2014-2015) and it was just... a time. I was feeling really discouraged and there were... incidents that occurred that really hurt me. I'd feel like such a waste of space, or that no one actually cared. If anyone did, it was because of the friends I had (I somehow got along with the Hibari's of the fandom lololol sigh).

Both of them aren't really online anymore but Emi/Emiko and Kiril were the two who I stuck around for. Both of them consistently stayed by my side and enjoyed writing with Haru. They both consistently wrote with me whenever they were able to and enjoyed indulging in my shenanigans. Both of them have left the KHR RPC for a while now.

I came close to leaving again like... a little bit before or at the very start of the pandemic time. We were ALL going through it, honestly. We were all struggling, but it was around that time when the KHR RPC was really really small and I'd gotten out of a really bad time with an RP group that left me with a bit of trauma that took me years to process and get over.

It was hard, because I was going through panic attacks somewhat frequently, and I would occasionally get anon hate- which obviously- isn't very conducive to me conjuring the desire to stick around.

The actual point of all this, is that you're actually one of the reasons why I stuck around. Even though you were struggling and you were having a hard time with life and feeling insecure/unwanted/unneeded/etc you were still trying. It was in a way uplifting to see the fact that you were trying hard even if things were a struggle. You would also talk to me and were in general very kind. I think around this time is where you were really jumping around blogs a lot (I think you were avoiding someone or something like that), but again you still consistently followed me on whichever blog you migrated to.

It really truly meant so much to me at the time when I was feeling so godawful. My old job really-- it was a time. I wasn't in a good place mentally and emotionally. It was you and Emi (the other Emi who is on heartsglass now) who were the reasons I stuck around the 2nd time I got REAL CLOSE to quitting RPC. It may not seem like much, but I always appreciated the fact that you both would follow me, like my OOC posts and sometimes leave replies.

It may seem like such a small and simple thing, but a lot of my OOC posts go unseen. It was quite often that I wouldn't get any likes on my OOC posts or replies. It was exceedingly rare for me to even get asks for memes. I don't think i've mentioned it really but that's the other reason why I don't like memes. Aside from the fact I have trauma associated with the inbox that i'm healing from, I have the mindset of 'no one is going to send in because I write boring responses lol why do I bother reblogging memes lolololol'

But you especially would surprise me by sheer coincidence on the days I was feeling down with a like, a reply, or a meme ask. Emi was the same. By sheer coincidence you both would be a notification on the days I'd think 'maybe I should delete because no one will notice when i'm gone'.

I've never admitted it to you both, but you both are the reasons why I stuck it through during the pandemic years when I was struggling so hard mentally. It's the small stuff that can mean the world to someone.

So whenever I'm in your replies saying that I care for you, love you, and just in general love seeing you on the dash-- EVER, I truly mean it. You're existence made a big impact on this blog by the sheer principle that you helped me have hope that I can exist on this platform and be appreciated.

This is probably the reason why I'm so attached to both Luca and Emi, because idk... I just feel like both of those OCs mean a lot to the both of you and so I just instinctively latched on. Like I imprint the love I have for the both of you onto those muses AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAH. I'm being real sappy.

So you know, TLDR: Thank you for existing. Without your existence, I wouldn't be on tumblr today. Anyone who enjoys writing with me now has you and Emi to thank for me not quitting during the pandemic years.

Thanks for everything and I truly just love seeing you on the dash ever. It makes me so happy to see you continue to try.

[silentbluie]

His sunflower 🌻

This is my very first writing and first draft, if there is anything wrong or if you have any notes you can stop by my box.

Word count: 2k.

· ┈┈∘┈˃̶ 𖥸 ˂̶┈∘┈┈ ·

Once there was a girl she liked to play around the garden. She lives in an only girls institution her name was 111. Her routine was rigid and unchanging, her emotions seem to slowly disappear but they lingered longer because when she feels the warmth of the sun on her face and the grass tickling her skin, that is the only time she feels alive. The institution saw her progress they gave her more time to spend outside but within the wire barrier that keeps her in. A boy one day wanted to find an inspiration to draw so he went to find himself a muse to draw, that is until he saw her 111 the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. He slowly walked up to her, 111 was confused she never saw someone outside the institution barriers as she stared at him.

“…hello sunflower 🌻 ..” the boy greeted her, she tilted her head in confusion as she looked behind her at the sunflower small meadow.

“…you’re talking to the sunflowers..?” She asked confusingly while pointing at the sunflowers. The boy lightly laughed as he shook his head.

“You… you’re as beautiful as a sunflower 🌻” the boy said letting out a small warm laugh, 111 blushed feeling embarrassed at her stupidity she hid between the sunflowers while peeking at him every now and then while the boy on the other hand he enjoyed the comfort of the wind as he starts drawing her. After sometime the boy waved at 111 gesturing her to come over so he can show her the drawing, “sunflower 🌻 please come I want to show you what I made…” he softly said while turning his canvas to 111, her eyes started to shine as she witnessed such a beautiful portrait. Gasping lightly “who is she..?” 111 asked pointing at herself in the portrait, the boy looked at her confused “this is you… don’t you know how you look like sunflower 🌻?” He softly asked her looking at her worried. 111 shook her head looking at him “…is that something bad..?” She asked with her beautiful eyes looking directly at him. The boy breath was taken away as he can feel himself blushing lightly, “…i-umm I suppose it means this place doesn’t take care of you properly..“ he thought out loud.

The bell rang cutting their small conversation off as 111 stood up ready to walk back inside but the boy called out for her. “Wait sunflower 🌻 when will I see you again..?” He asked desperately wanting to see her again. She stood there for a second before replying to him, “same time tomorrow” she said happily before entering the institution where she continued her rigid robot like routine.

The days starts to pass as the boy comes daily to draw his beloved sunflower 🌻, they started to spend time together, days turns to weeks to months and years as the boy kept visiting his sunflower 🌻 on daily basis he managed to smuggle her canvas and colors from under the wires, he started to teach her how to draw which she truly enjoyed, slowly 111 started to realize that she felt something towards that boy strong feeling of attachment to him. One time the boy brought her a bracelet to wear and think of him, “sunflower 🌻! Look I got this for you” he said happily showing her the gold bracelet, placing his hand under the opening that they dig to help her put it on “here let me help you!” He said smiling happily with a big smile on his face as he put the bracelet on her wrist holding her hand in his leaning down planting a quick kiss on her hand. She softly gasped looking at the bracelet her face blushing from the gesture “…ah it is dazzling pretty.. are you sure it is for me..?” She softly asked looking at him, her hand gripping onto the wire fence seeing him nodding letting his fingers touch hers reassuring her, she treasured that bracelet. Sadly nothing lasts forever as 111 reached a level where she would be taken to an advanced institution and the worse part was she never get to see her lover before she left. The boy waited and waited for an encounter that won’t happen.

Few years flew by as the boy turned into a man a famous artist with his unique art style of a girl and a sunflower that covers her face. The girl on the other hand she lost her feelings as the advanced institution kept her locked in and working all the time to generate a robot like worker for a certain company, that is what the institution was for shaping and building a dull rigid emotionless robot like worker for companies. Once the subject is ready they take them to live in dorms near their work place so that they could walk there. And that what has 111 been doing from the dorm to work. That is until on one fateful day she decided she had enough as she ran away taking the bus to a place far away that has sunflowers 🌻. Her lover boy who slowly grew hopeless saw a familiar hair running towards to the bus, he looked closely and saw it was his sunflower 🌻 as he quickly got into his car following behind the bus.

The bus driver stopped in the middle of an empty road and told her to walk deep into the forest and she will find a field full of sunflowers 🌻, 111 walked in her work uniform until she found a small pond and small waterfall as the ground was yellow the field was filled with sunflowers 🌻. She wanted to stay here but she know very well that she can’t stay here nor go back. The sun starts to set as 111 thinks that this is how her life will end a sound interpreted her train of thoughts as she sat right up looking at the sound source, the wind blows through her hair as the sunflowers starts swaying with the wind “…sunflower 🌻… is that really you..?” The lover boy softly said looking at her, the woman that haunted his dreams, his hands starts to shiver the feeling of longing and warmth filled him up… ‘there she stands his sunflower 🌻 with no barriers or wires’.

“…sunflower 🌻 please say something…” the lover said looking at her desperate to hear her voice. “….” The girl stayed silent as she looked at him shocked, the memories slowly starts flooding back into her head, her eyes start water up trying to hold back the tears from falling down. Standing still in her place she couldn’t move a muscle, the boy slowly walks to her. “…..please.. tell me this isn’t a dream..” he said with a sad tone as his hand slowly reaches up to touch her cheek, once he felt the warmth of her skin he started to caress her cheek “oh sunflower 🌻… you don’t know how much I missed you…” the boy said softly brushing the tears that started falling down her eyes. “…y-you..” she shivered as she took a deep shaky breath “….I thought I’d never see you again… ever..” she said sadly leaning her face into his palm resting her face into his hands while she looked up at him with loving eyes. Fingers twitch as she reached out to hold his hand the one resting on her cheek, feeling her icy cold hand touching his own made him worried. The lover boy took both of her hands in his own trying to warm her hands, “….why sunflower 🌻 why did you suddenly disappear…?” He asked sadly looking down at her hands, “….I was taken to another facility… I’m sorry..” she softly said not looking at him. “I waited for years same place…same time…” he told her remembering the years he waited for her. “Why didn’t you leave… why did you wait all these years for me.???” She asked looking up at him not understanding the emotions she’s going through, “…..” he stayed silent looking at the sunflowers 🌻. “Tell me! Why did you wait for me all those years you could have left and lived your life! Why are you making me feel guilty for something that was out of my control and will???” She yelled at him pulling her hands away from his warm hold, ‘why does my heart feel heavy…’ she thought to herself, keeping her gaze fixed on him. “….I feared not being there where you expected me to be..” he said looking down not wanting to see the sadness in her eyes. Few moments of silence have passed before he looked up at her slowly smiling, “you grew into a fine beauty my pretty sunflower 🌻” he said wanting to hold her in his arms, she stared at him her gazing slowly moves down to the small sunflowers…

“…sunflower 🌻 please come here..” he said gesturing for his sunflower 🌻 to come into his arms. 111 looked down slowly making her way to him as she sat next to him, he smiled softly leaning his head on her shoulder feeling happier than he has ever felt because he at last has found his sunflower 🌻, she turned rested her head on top of his enjoying the warmth of being near him as her heart started beating reminding her of her human nature, slowly closing her eyes as the cold wind hits her face, her lips turn upward into a small warm smile, he stood up as she looked up at him tilting her head to the side confused, looking into her eyes made his heart jump easily getting lost in her beautiful eyes. He extended his hand out for her wanting to take her anywhere she wanted.

His sunflower 🌻 looked up at him slowly taking his hand as she got up giving him a small soft smile, “..the weather is beautiful can we stay..” she softly asked giving his hand a small squeeze, wrapping his arms around her as he hugged her tightly softly laughing while spinning her around, “..we have all day my dear sunflower 🌻” he softly whispered before setting her down taking her hand in his leading her to his car, opening the door for her speeding to a mall letting her pick a new outfit.

111 eyes sparkled as she saw the clothes, shoes and bags, picking a white dress with pink floral print along with low white heels and a mini bag, stepping out of the fitting room as she started to pose and model for him. The boy couldn’t take his eyes off of her, he started falling in love with her all over again, “let’s go back to the car I will show you around” he said softly paying for her things reaching out to hold her hand, she took his hand and leaned against his body placing a hand on his chest as she looked up at him, “..can you show around on a bike instead I always wanted to ride a bike” she said softly leaning her head on his chest “..I would bring you the stars if you wanted my sweet sunflower 🌻” he whispered into her ear reaching to open the door for her taking her back to his house. 111 curiously looked around until her eyes landed on a beautiful diamond set that was placed next to a drawing of a sunflower field, the boy walked in slowly standing behind her slowly wrapping his arms around her hugging her tightly, pressing small soft kisses on her neck as he saw the diamond set, moving away he started to open the glass box helping his sunflower 🌻 to put the diamond on her neck, ears, wrist, and finger. “..no I can’t this isn’t right..” she said trying to protest he was kind enough to get her the dress but a diamond set was too much, “..I bought this for you.. I had a feeling we will meet again” he said cupping her face pressing small kisses all over her face, taking her hand as he took her out the house where the bike is waiting for them.

He got on the bike 🚲 patting the seat behind him, his sunflower 🌻 smiled as she got behind him hugging letting him take her away, he took her to the beach collected some shells 🐚 then the park and picked some flowers 🌷 🌺 filling her small tote bag 👜 , finally he took her to their sunflower field as they laid side by side stargazing while holding hands, “sunflower 🌻 tell me what do you want to do?” He asked turning to look at her, she kept looking at the stars ✨ softly humming thinking “..maybe open my own baker” she said smiling shifting her gaze at him seeing how he was looking at her the whole time, she sat upright seeing the dawn light started crawl into the night sky “what about you what do you want to do?” She asked looking at him happily smiling softly, he reached out holding her hand looking into her eyes as his lips slowly open “..all I ever wish for is to bring my sunflower 🌻 back home with me..” he whispered to her as the started to blow. She looked at him feeling her cheeks flush light pink her hand moved to hold onto his arm “..then let’s go back home..” she said softly, the boy smile got wider as he carried her bridal way rushing towards the bike setting her down “I want to sit in front on the basket” she said happily sitting on the basket looking back at him, he smiled and heard how she heavenly laughed and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

He watched how the wind blew her hair and how she looks back at him with her smile plastered on her face the sunlight shining on her face it was a sight to behold as he held his breath, he never felt this happy as he started to speed wanting to return home finally with his sunflower 🌻 with him, 111 turned to him smiling “..it might be rude and late but..” she said looking down feeling embarrassed “…I never knew your name..” she said softly looking up to see him with a face flushed red with embarrassment, he smiled leaning in close “..my name is Ellis..” he said looking at her as their faces were inches apart “..Ellis..” she softly repeated his name, he leaned in to press a kiss on her lips but everything went to black, slowly Ellis opened his eyes to see his sunflower on the ground with drenched with her own blood, his heart dropped as he crawled to her shaking her “..sunflower 🌻 please..” he whispered as his tears started to falling down his face as he held into her tightly slowly feeling his vision started to blur and everything went back to black, he woke up in the hospital quickly looking around searching for his sunflower 🌻.

“….I am sorry..” the nurse said handing him her tote bag 👜 floral dress, low white heels, and the diamond set he gave her, Ellis hugged her things as he started to cry, his art changed from a happy yellow sunflower 🌻 into a sad red sunflower 🌻 slowly getting darker and darker till it turned into a black sunflower 🌻, he felt he was responsible for her death which made him desperate at night he would always visit the places he went with her trying to imagine she was still next to him, yet it never will his sunflower 🌻 withered before she could bloom.

[2c75ff]

♛ + Viopolis ( would not blame you for choosing to focus on just one muse; I have a decently-sized roster and feed a bunch into them when I have the chance )

🔵 -- 'MY OPINION ON...' meme . ACCEPTING

my opinion on;

CHARACTER IN GENERAL. I've chosen to focus on Nucleotide for this particular response, henceforth referred to as 'Cleo'.

One of my favorite things about Cleo thus far is how his very existence, and the fact that he's such a mental mess about it in the first place, raises a variety of weighty questions about the nature of his being and the overall place he occupies in the world.

(For instance: is he fated -- [doomed, even] -- to be 'bad' just because his progenitor was? Do his origins mean that he didn't deserve a chance at life in the first place? Does his unstable sense of belonging within a broader community -- in combination with the ever-present, latent threat that he could very well present to humanity if he ever chose to -- mean that he's inherently evil? How much of his emotional struggles [with himself and with others] is he allowed to show and be forgiven for before those things should be held against him or taken as proof of some kind of inherited and inescapable malevolence? Is he allowed to make mistakes, regress, or fluctuate emotionally in the way that others often do without it being seen as a sign that he's just a ticking time bomb waiting to inevitably go off? Will he ever be considered 'good', or is he always going to be just one wrong move away from becoming a villain [perhaps one he was always meant to be] in the eyes of those around him? The list truly does go ever on and on.)

And here's the thing about it. While I might have my own responses to all of those questions, I can't necessarily take for granted that my answers are 'right' within the scope of the universe Cleo operates in, or that they fall in line with whatever fate (or in this case, you) might have in store for him. He truly is a creature of opposites -- a chimeric, conflicted, deeply confused entity caught in the midst of warring urges and warring inputs that, when you get right down to it, are not actually his fault. He can't help the who, what, why of his existence, and yet everyone who crosses paths with him can see it and bring their own baggage to the table. It's never solely, truly about him. It's unfortunate. It's unfair. The world he was brought into really is just that kind of bitch sometimes -- and yet here he is all the same, making some kind of unsure, fumble-footed effort to stay on the right side of The Line, for all that he doesn't always necessarily feel that kind of charitable and for all that he isn't always necessarily graceful about it. He may or may not be doomed by the narrative in the long run, but the fact that he even cares in the first place about being accepted, about having a place, about being good says more about him than he himself might realize.

What's more relatable than the struggle of not wanting the wreckage of your being to be seen for exactly what it is, while simultaneously longing for just the same?

What's more relatable than wanting someone to See, and not look away in the end?

(...Okay, yeah; I'm big attached already. Call me out, why don't you.)

HOW THEY PLAY THEM. One of your strengths that I'm already noticing as I gain familiarity with your blog -- (and this applies to everyone you play; not Cleo alone) -- is that you allow your characters ample room to be difficult, wrong, or ugly, even (or perhaps especially) if they aren't necessarily villainous or 'bad people'.

It's always seemed to me that many writers struggle with some protective sentiments toward the characters they play, especially if those characters are OCs -- a certain desire for the characters to not act foolishly and to not be pathetic; to always have 'an excuse' for why the moments when they're wrong, or making a poor choice, or otherwise exhibiting any kind of unattractive trait shouldn't be held against them. By comparison, you seem to treat your characters' traits less as inherent negatives and more as parts of the greater whole which must be seen and acknowledged in order to understand the entirety of the picture. No more and no less. You let them have their good, their bad, their everything in between, without trying to buff away their imperfect facets. The end result, in my opinion, is a pleasingly complicated sense of 'realness'.

Bringing this back more specifically to Cleo, you take care to explain his conflicted nature, permit him to have negative traits both large and small, and don't try to convince your audience that he's above reproach or entirely clean-handed in the moments where he actually expresses those traits or otherwise acts in ways that would make him difficult for most people to handle. For a multitude of reasons, Cleo would be a hard person with whom to develop or maintain any kind of meaningful relationship; and I think you're good at striking an important balance between making him sympathetic, and letting him still be troubled in ways that have effects on and consequences for those around him. He's isolated, yet not an island. I can't help but feel a very particular variety of affectionate over him.

THE WRITER. Right up front, I appreciate the fact that you present yourself in an engaging, friendly, enthusiastic manner, without "uwu-ify"-ing yourself in the process. I understand that many people are shy and/or anxious, and that there's a certain, unspoken expectation in many of these kinds of spaces for players to preemptively assuage others' nerves by making themselves appear as small and non-threatening as possible. However, I am very much an adult -- (I do taxes. I have a Roth IRA.) -- and find that I gravitate most readily toward other adults who occupy their space with a certain measure of basic self-assurance. You do that without coming across like a hard-ass, and I find that wildly refreshing.

do i;

FOLLOW THEM. Of course. RP WITH THEM. Not yet. WANT TO RP WITH THEM. Naturally. SHIP THEIR CHARACTER WITH MINE. I would need to see these two in action with each other before I could properly say -- get an idea of the initial flavor of the dynamic, gauge where and how that dynamic might progress given time and tending; all that. I'd be absolutely open to the possibility though if indeed a facet like that proved to be both reasonable for them and interesting for us. In any case I can see abundant opportunities for a great deal of long-term emotional strangeness on both their ends, regardless of whether or not romantic chemistry ever gets involved.

And if indeed it does get involved, then what an extra fun little minefield they'll be navigating when the time comes where those strange pains in Cleo's ribs and abdomen sprout at last into something greater...

(Why yes, I am forever snared within the jaws of my fondness for scenarios with thematic similarities to [a] The Shape of Water, and [b] The Fly. Why do you ask?)

what is my;

OVERALL OPINION. 'I would die for [him]. I would kill for [him]. Either way, what bliss.'

[ @viopolis ]