#music people was of course my top song this year & i love it so very much

[orcelito]

When you get this ask you have to answer with 5 of your fave songs, and then send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers!!

Awwww thank u !!

In terms of Absolute Favorite songs... I think the #1 spot still belongs to Capricorn by Xan Griffin

Even after Years, it still hits something deep in my heart. I have cried to this song before, which is saying something for me. It's just... really special to me.

Hard as Fuck to give a ranking for another 4, so here are 4 songs from some of my favorite artists

Non-exhaustive list. Idk if these could be counted as my top favorite songs Ever, but that's such an arbitrary classification and can change depending on mood/general state of being/etc. So here r just a lot of songs that I love very much from some of my favorite artists. Yes.

[heegyukeluv]

love-battery (lhs) - req

pairing: heeseung x afab!reader

synopsis: Heeseung always would make you feel recharged just by being around. And you did the same to him.

my's note: hi hello here's a very fluff cute little thing! it's a request (thank you for requesting <3), so i hope you like it!!!! (have to say that when i chose the name of this fic, the jinyoung's song with similar name started to play on my head non-stop help)

warnings: skinship, established relationship, fluff, pet names, explicit language (i can't help myself. i'll always use at least one 'fuck' lol).

request: clingy gf with heeseung and it’s super cute and they’re in love, she really just misses him (here!)

wc: 3k

NOT PROOFREAD.

Even with your boyfriend’s tight schedule and the fact you both lived quite far from each other, you and Heeseung always managed ways to meet up and hang out for at least an hour or so – enough to work as a full recharge for Heeseung.

However, for the last whole month you only saw Heeseung three times. You were used to seeing him almost every day, either by going to his and staying for a bit or he coming to yours for the same reason, and it was pissing you off how annoying adult life was being so far, unabling you to do your daily basis chores, let alone drive to Heeseung’s studio to be with him.

Heeseung normally had a tough routine as a producer by spending long hours in his studio, staying up all night working on his music and constantly dealing with tight deadlines. Your favorite hobby was to grab a coffee and some snacks to surprise him by showing up unexpectedly; and of course, to sit on his lap while he kept doing his things. 

But now you were the one fighting against time, as you had to deal with your last year in college, struggling with your final project and with your respective project partners – who would have thought that working with people would lead you to be that stressed, huh?

Your life was a total mess at this point, your sleep schedule chaotic, your body aching, begging for a pause to get some proper rest, but you really couldn’t give yourself that luxury; all the submission dates getting closer and closer making you go crazy in desperation.

And on top of that, you haven’t seen your boyfriend, the main source of your happiness, in almost two weeks.

“This is so frustrating, Hee,” you said with a realistic sad tone, when you decided to ignore the blank page on your laptop waiting for a new plot to pop up in your mind, and give your love life a little more attention, calling Heeseung. “It’s almost like the world doesn't want us to be together.”

“Don’t say such things, my love. Not even as kidding,” he interrupted you to say with a gentle voice. “We’re going to figure out something, yeah?”

“I��m sorry, Hee. But– I’m dealing with a bunch of stupid assignments with stupid deadlines in this stupid degree I chose, and you’ve told me early this week that you were pretty chill with your work. But I didn’t even have time to invite you over the days you said you’re free! Not to mention that if you were here I’d be paying more attention to you and getting fucked with my project.”

“Y/N–”

“And when I’m free you’re the one swamped with work! And, please, I’m not blaming you, babe, please don’t take it the wrong way. I love you and I love that you can work with the thing you’re passionate about. I’m just… Frustrated,” you unloaded with a long sigh, voice trembling a bit since your feelings were, also, a mess and your heart aching. “And I miss you so much. I wish we lived a bit closer, so we could meet more often in moments like this.”

You heard Heeseung soft breathing through the phone. He decided to let you vent instead of cutting you off, because he, more than anyone, knew how overwhelmed you felt whenever you had to deal with submission dates and projects. It was your third project in your whole degree, this one being the most important one, and Heeseung saw you in shambles during your working time in the smaller ones, fully understanding how hard it has been with this final one.

“I’m sorry you’re having to go through all of this, pretty girl,” you could feel the comfort in his tender, sweet tone. You wiped out a single tear that tried to escape your eyes, curving yourself into a little ball on your couch. “But you don’t have to do this alone, my love,” you heard a weird noise through his phone, very similar to a door unlocking. Your door unlocking. You frowned. “Don’t freak out, bae. I’m entering your apartment right now.”

Your heart dropped in your chest. “What?” You whispered in disbelief, your phone falling off from your hand, your eyes widening as you watched your boyfriend walk through the front door, smiling big and bright at you.

His dark red hair was attractively messy because of the motorcycle helmet. He also carried a big backpack on his back and a plastic bag with the logo of your favorite food place.

“You’re kidding me,” your voice was barely a whisper at this point, your lips curving into a smile that grew bigger and bigger, still finding it hard to believe that the man talking to you on your phone was now in front of you. Your beloved boyfriend was now in front of you. “Lee fucking Heeseung!” You almost squealed, walking in his direction right after he put his helmet and his backpack on the ground, to jump on his open arms which were waiting to embrace you in a tight hug.

Your legs instantly wrapped around his waist and your arms on his shoulders, his firm hands gripping on your thighs to hold you close and steady as you buried your face on his neck, inhaling his scent as if it was your favorite drug. You heard Heeseung chuckling at your reaction and you finally noticed how fast your heart was beating, everything feeling unreal. All the frustration you felt waving off your body quickly.

“Hi, baby,” Heeseung said in an affectionate way, with you still hidden on the curve of his neck, making him let out a small laugh at your adorableness. He missed you so much.

Your fingers tangled in his soft hair, pulling him into yourself as if you could become one before you started to kiss every piece of his exposed skin, from his jawline to close to his ear, to his cheek, the tip of his nose and finally his glistening, dreamy lips.

Heeseung let out a contented sigh when he felt your sweet taste, walking carefully through the living room so he could sit on the couch with you on his lap, the contact never breaking. He deepened the kiss by slightly brushing his tongue on your bottom lip, electricity running all over his body once you let him in to feel him closer, so intimately; his hands sneaked into your shirt, caressing the bare skin of your waist just because he needed to touch, to feel you more.

“I missed you so much, my love,” you whispered when you parted away to catch your breath, pecking his lip countless times as you said “Missed. You. So. Much. Oh. My. God,” and the last one lasted a bit longer, making Heeseung giggle and kiss you properly one more time. 

“I missed you too, pretty.”

Heeseung was looking at you with so much love, his eyes sparkling in joy for finally having you that close, touching, kissing you. He caressed your cheek while his gaze wandered all your face features, as if he was trying to memorize every one of them, completely endeared by your beauty.

Heeseung looked at you as if he just discovered what love is. 

You weren’t different, though. Your soft touch on his strands of hair, scratching slightly as your contemplated every piece of your very good-looking boyfriend, not holding yourself when your fingers started gently to trace his face; his big deer eyes now turned into little crescents, his pretty nose that you loved to kiss, the little charming mole on his forehead, and his so, so attractive lips adorning the most beautiful smile you ever had the chance to see. You were so in love.

Heeseung felt like he could stare at you all day and he would never feel tired, actually to have you close always worked as a battery recharge. And for you, Heeseung did the same, making all your bad feelings wash away easily because you had him, and you knew you could rely on him.

Ironically, the sound of your laptop on the coffee table indicating that its battery was running out, pulled you both out of your little love bubble, startling you slightly. The reality check hit you with full force, and the bottom of your stomach sank immediately.

You gulped, looking at Heeseung with a hint of sadness before you sighed and said, “Don’t get me wrong, I’m super happy you’re here, but I–”

“You have things to do, I know,” Heeseung cut you off mid-sentence. His kind voice, the small peck on your cheek, and his cute smile making you shiver and melt. “But don’t worry about me, okay? You do your things, I’ll be around for whenever you finish, and then we can cuddle,” he said simply, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“You’re staying?” You questioned with eyes sparkling in confusion. “I don’t want you to mess up your sche–”

Heeseung now stopped your talking with a sweet kiss, and then another, and another, and one more just in case. “I’m staying, baby,” he chuckled at your tilted head, expressing that you were very much confused. “As I said before, I’m pretty chill this week,” he explained with a warm smile, mirroring yours. “Anything I have to do, I can do from my computer or phone, so I’m all yours this weekend, my love.”

Heeseung fell even deeply for you when he saw your eyes shining like you received the best news of your life. And for you, you actually did. To have your boyfriend for a whole weekend after days without being able to see each other, you truly thought you were dreaming. 

So to have Heeseung feeding you while your hands worked on your writing was definitely something that you hadn’t planned for your friday. He was openly giving his opinion as well after you cutely asked him to, paying attention to every detail you shared with him about the plot you were working on. 

“So your idea is that after he leaves the house, you give an extra zoom on the door knob because someone is going to open, even though the house is supposed to be empty?”

“Yes! And then it’s revealed to be actually his ‘dead’ twin!” You explained excitedly, noticing Heeseung gazing very passionately at you. You blushed, feeling suddenly too aware, because your story now has been read by someone other than you. “I– I know it’s kinda simple and boring, but I mean– I got the approval to keep working on it, so…” You shrugged, trying to act cool, but your pout was showing how insecure you actually felt.

“It’s not simple or anything bad, my love,” Heeseung couldn’t resist the urge of kissing your small pout as he reassured you. “It’s impressive how your creative mind works, I’m really proud,” he said with his voice filled with sincerity.

You gave him a shy smile before going back to writing, heart beating fast with his genuine words.

Heeseung never left your side. You needed him around you every single second, not only to compensate for the days you were apart, but because Heeseung was really your source of energy. So to write on your computer while having his fingers intertwined with yours became a natural activity during the moments you were working on your project. You could feel Heeseung’s love stare at your face during those moments, completely in love by your focused expression. 

Sometimes he would leave your touch to reply to some of his co-workers on his phone, giving them the attention they needed, but in the meantime his head would be resting on your shoulder, completely addicted to your touch and to having you close – his hair tickling your neck making you lose focus for a few minutes.  

You both wanted and needed each other with the same intensity. Heeseung always loved your clinginess, emphasizing how lovable you looked with your pouty face whenever he had to leave the bed to go to the bathroom or grab some food in the kitchen and “leave you to die alone”, like you normally would say in a very dramatic way. Especially because he himself was pretty clingy too, holding you in a tight back hug whenever you had to go back home after visiting him at his studio, refusing to let you leave his side.

To move in together was a big dream. However Heeseung always talked with you about finishing your studies first before committing your relationship on that instance, so you could have your freedom without him disrupting your focus; he also knew that he wasn’t ready to have you so close for that long, afraid of scaring you off by how much he would be around you, maybe losing his own concentration on his work. 

And this behavior was being shown at that moment, by you doing the lunch and him hugging you from behind.

“I have to be honest, I don’t really see this as ‘helping’, Hee,” you said with a playful chuckle, not really bothered by his big hands resting on your hips as well as his chin on your shoulder while you did all the work. He was clinging like a koala, making it challenging to move around the kitchen.

“What do you mean? I’m clearly helping you,” he said with a babyish voice, making you giggle. You could tell he was pouting too. “What if you get hurt? I have to be close, y’know? To save you from danger.”

You laughed hard, throwing your head behind and profusely resting it on his chest. “The danger?”

“Yeah, the knife and fire and stuff…” He explained like it was obvious.

You turned down the heat on the stove, moving away from it so you could face your boyfriend, just to meet his big, adorable eyes looking at you with a dramatically pleading expression. “You’re right,” you said softly, cupping his cheeks and planting a kiss on his lips. “Thank you for protecting me from the dangers of my kitchen,” you added a hint of sarcasm to your very affectionate tone, without holding your smile when he nodded proudly, before pulling you closer to kiss you properly as now your self-proclaimed hero. 

After you finished cooking – with Heeseung’s help, of course –, you both shared the meal, doing constant “love shots” but with your food, just so you could feel each other’s touch.

Heeseung didn’t let you go back to work on your project when you finished eating, saying you needed a bit of resting time with him. And how could you oppose such truthful words? 

So you spend quite a long time of your Saturday afternoon embraced in Heeseung’s arms and scent all over you, making it difficult to choose anything different from being on the bed cuddling him. 

After changing positions many times, you now were on top of Heeseung, face buried on his neck while he hummed some random song, hands gently caressing your back and scalp, making you wonder if taking a quick nap at that moment would mess up too much with your project work.

As if a sense of responsibility hit you, remembering all your deadlines and especially that you had to finish at least the plot writing by Monday – in two days –, you forced yourself to try to move away. Your body refused, though.

“I should go,” you said, muffed into his skin.

“Yeah, you should…” Heeseung added, not moving an inch to help you with that. In fact, he held you closer. Your warm body against his own helping him to relax. 

“Like, reeeally gotta go…” You didn’t move as well, trailing kisses all over his neck as you refused to get up.

“Definitely you do…” His voice was a bit raspy in a sweet, tender way that made it even harder for you to leave. He was about to fall asleep.

You sighed, “I missed being like this with you.” You lifted your head just enough to see his serene expression; eyes closed, lips slightly parted and a calm breathing. You almost cried with the fact that you truly needed to go back to your life instead of staying there with Heeseung. 

Your hands caressed his face with all the care in the world, making him open his eyes, “I missed it too, pretty. I miss you every moment I’m without you, actually.”

You noticed a soft flush  on Heeseung cheeks and giggled at the sight of your ‘so cool’ boyfriend blushing in front of you. 

You always appreciated how Heeseung was not only a good listener to your worries and maybe overwhelming thoughts, but also unafraid to show you his most sensitive and vulnerable side in order to make you comfortable on doing the same. You cherished his presence in your life with all you had, not being scared of loving him so openly, because he did the same for you. 

“I love you,” you whispered, leaning in to tease a kiss. He smiled against your lips, closing his eyes again.

“I love you too, my love,” he murmured, mirroring your tone and capturing your bottom lip with his own, to pull you near and finally kiss you. 

You decided to stay for a bit longer, because Heeseung’s hands roaming your body with such care and tenderness, his sweet mouth working on yours, and his loving whispers against your skin were too irresistible.

The best excuse you found for yourself was that you were revitalizing so you could work better, your creativity would flow easily and you would finish it in no time.

And, well, he would be around you anyway, because he just couldn’t never get enough of your pretty face, or your joyful presence, or your addicting warm touches.

After all, Heeseung always worked as a recharger to your love battery, and for him, you were no different.

[hcsiqs]

| you could be my silver spring

• pairing: paige bueckers x singer!reader

• summary: “ you’ll never get away from the sound // of the woman that loves you ”

• warnings: none

November 2021

“And singing the United States National Anthem, our very own: Y/N L/N!” the announcer's voice rang through Gampel Pavilion. Azzi gave you a quick pat on the back as you turned to her giving a quick smile before walking to the center of the husky logo; where the microphone stand stood.

You let out a deep breath before looking over to the sound tech people and giving them a small nod before an instrumental version of The Star-Spangled Banner filled the gymnasium.

As you began singing you could see your face appear on the screens surrounding you with the flag appearing on the sides. For the first time you heard your voice taking over a large space as it smoothly came out of the speakers. The high notes of the song hit perfectly with early claps falling from people’s hands as you finished off the song. You gave a small smile to everyone before walking off the court, Azzi immediately giving you the biggest hug ever.

“Holy shit!” the girl giggled as she squeezed your body, “I knew you could sing but…you just made the national anthem sound like a pop song!” she gushed.

“Really? Thank you, Az!” you replied, a bright smile taking over your features as you pulled back, the curly haired nodding her head quickly. “Ok good luck!” you giggled before quickly being ushered off the court before going to sit in the student section.

————

“You know her?” the blonde asked as the team jogged back onto the court.

“Yeah, we have a lot of classes together,” Azzi nodded, watching Paige’s gaze follow you off the court. “No”

“What? I wasn’t—I didn’t even,” Paige threw her hands up defending herself.

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice was stern, “Don’t.”

But, of course, Paige didn’t listen. Which is what led to the moment of your guys' breakup during December of senior year.

December 2023

“Yes! Thank you! Thank you so much!” you spoke excitedly into the phone, as tears formed in the corners of your eyes. “I’ll be there as soon as possible! Thank you again!” you said into the phone before hanging up the phone.

“Paige! They wanna sign me!” you smiled as you turned to your girlfriend, who was playing Fortnite in her bed.

She immediately dropped her remote into her lap as she reached over and placed a kiss on your cheek. “What I tell you?” she smiled. “Everything I say is facts.”

You just smiled stupidly nodding your head as a couple tears traced down your cheeks, your body overwhelmed with the excitement. “I just can’t believe it…”

“Wow, my girlfriend is a famous music artist,” Paige reached her hand over her heart, until you pushed her hand and brought her into a kiss.

The two of you stayed like that for a few minutes before Paige pulled back, “So, you gotta move to LA or some shit?” she asked jokingly.

You bit down on your lip, a strike of pain hitting your heart as you had forgotten to tell her that you actually had to move away.

“Wait, do you?” she asked, now fully having her body turned towards you.

You stayed silent, your eyes dropping to your hands that were holding hers. The blonde removed her hands from your grasp as she ran them down her face. “Fuck,” she said under her breath as she dropped her head to your shoulder. Your hands immediately wrapped around her body as your right hand ran through her hair.

“I’m sorry P,” you kissed the top of her head.

“It’s not your fault for being a fucking amazing singer,” she let out an airy laugh, her evident in her voice.

There was a moment of silence between you two, just holding each other; the video game now fully forgotten even as KK and Ice started blowing up Paige’s phone for her being the reason they lost.

“So…what does this mean for us?” you asked, causing Paige to lift her head and look at you.

“I love you, I really wanna try,” she spoke softly, squeezing your hand.

“I love you too,” you smiled softly, feeling like a weight was lifted off your chest.

Even though the two of you tried as hard as you could, being on opposite ends of the country with both having extremely busy schedules and constant travel led to the relationship ending on mutual terms, for the both of your mental health's sake.

July 2025

“Fans, are you ready…for your All Star halftime entertainment?!” you heard through the speakers of Gainbridge Fieldhouse as you stood underneath the stage waiting for it to rise up and reveal you to the crowd. “Make some noise for grammy award winning…Y/N L/N!” and with that the stage lifted you up as your song, Taste, started playing.

“Oh I leave quite an impression,” you sang, as the dancers beside you started to do their choreography.

While Paige was walking through the tunnel to go back to the locker room for halftime, she heard your voice vibrating through the area making her stop in her tracks.

Towards the end of your set Paige had made it to where she could go see you perform your last song. She had made it just in time to see the outro, which you had been known for changing it based on where you were performing, “He said it was big, but it was mini // I like it Fast and Furious like Vin D // Indy is too perfect, someone pinch me” you finished with a small laugh into the microphone before the stage took you back down.

You then changed into a sequined top in the shape of a bra, paired with a matching sequined miniskirt before taking your seat courtside for the rest of the game.

Your eyes kept wondering to the blonde on the court. She had gotten stronger and tanner since you had last seen her, LA clearly had been treating her good. And as the game came to an end with Paige’s team winning, you walked on the court, your ex immediately walking over to you too.

“So, how’s LA been?” you teased, a smile playing on your lips.

“It’d be better with you showing me around.”

[moonsgemini]

you’re on your own kid

summary: rafe cameron has loved his best friend through every season, but through the seasons of their senior year things start to get complicated.

warning: she/her, smoking, alcohol, angst, fluff, kissing, cheating ???, drugs, mutual pining, (let me know if I missed any)

wc: 4.7k

an: HIII! I’m really excited for these taylor swift fics bc her songs give me so many ideas. This took a while for me to finish & idk if I like the ending or honestly if I like it at all. I promise seeking arrangements is next on my list to post <3 Hope you guys enjoy !!!

rafe's version masterlist - masterlist

I wait patiently

he’s gonna notice me

it’s okay we’re the best of friends

-

summer

Of course when he walks in the party instantly feels like an actual party. It hadn’t been much of a party to her especially not with him around. These things got boring fast if he wasn’t by her side making her laugh and talking about anything and everything. Not having to worry about sleazy guys coming up to her or putting something in her drink because he always by her side. Always looking out.

Everybody loves him anyways. The way he carried himself charmed everyone, made them always want to have his attention. Sunglasses perched on his nose, even though it’s eleven at night, that big smile on his face. He’s bobbing his head to the music and greeting everyone, she can tell he’s in a good mood tonight. It puts her in a good mood, her fingers itching to greet him already.

When he finally reaches where she’s standing with a few of her friends he smiles even wider at her. Greeting everyone but always just looking at her. Moving to push his glasses up onto his head. She couldn’t help the smile that tuged at her lips as he side hugs her friends knowing that’s not what she’s going to get.

And she’s right, once he gets to her it’s all outstretched arms and gentle rocking as he hugs her tightly. She’s been away at her grandparents house in florida for the last week of summer. They had missed each other. Face times and text messages just didn’t feel like enough.

“You’re finally back,” He said once they pulled away.

She rolled her eyes playfully a teasing smile on her lips, “Were you counting down the days Cameron?”

He shrugged, “Maybe, I know you were.” That grin never leaving his lips.

“Now come on,” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders beginning to lead her to the kitchen of whoever’s house this was, “I need a drink and you need to tell me about Florida.”

“I already told you everything every day Rafe. Just sat out by the pool or on the beach,” She motioned towards her body, “got some new clothes.”

He raised his eyebrows eyeing her body, “Some very tiny clothes,” His eyes took in her mini skirt and tank top all the exposed skin doing something to him, “Any guys out there?” He didn’t look at her as he asked. Instead he grabbed a beer out of the fridge, cracking it open with his back to her.

She scoffed, “Florida boys? No thanks.”

He turned around smirking, “So just North Carolina boys for you?”

There was a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read. Every now and then he’d give it to her and her mind would spiral on what he could be thinking. She always hoped it was the same thing she was, “Mhmm only North Carolina boys.”

-

I hear it in your voice

You're smoking with your boys

I touch my phone as if it's your face

I didn't choose this town

I dream of getting out

There's just one who could make me stay

-

fall

Everything had felt boring lately. After the summer and after the start of senior year she felt like the parties in outer banks were a waste of time. It was always the same people doing the same things. Kids too young to know what’s good for them and too young to care about the consequences of their actions. Not a care in the world knowing mommy or daddy would get you out of whatever stupid decision you made.

She’d spent most of her high school career pretending to like parties and drinking. Even tried coke once but it made her feel like her brain was rotting so never again. When in reality she’d rather be home smoking on her balcony reading a good book or hanging out with her close friends around a bonfire. It was exhausting always having to put up a front that she was this social party girl.

It took her a long time to come to the realization that she didn’t have to be what people thought of her. On figure eight it felt like everyone knew your business and everyone thought they knew you. They start seeing you at parties talking to Rafe Cameron and all of a sudden you’re some party girl with a drug problem. Once people found out Rafe quit doing coke and dealing she just became the party girl. Kook prince and kook princess always stuck to each others sides, of course she was going go gain a reputation.

Once she realized that people are going to talk regardless what she did so she stopped caring. Started staying home more. Rafe kind of hated it. Because she wasn’t there anymore. But he made it work with their busy senior schedules. Always saying he can make time for his best friend. That’s what she was. His best friend.

best friend.

Even saying it in her head made her cringe. If only he knew that she wanted something more so badly. At first she didn’t even see him that way, he truly was a great friend. He listened to all her rants about music, school, books. Rafe paid attention, he was soft with her. She didn’t understand why people always said bad things about him because he never showed those sides to her.

She sighed thinking about him, sitting on her balcony. The thought of him was brought on by everyone’s instagram stories of the party currently happening. She had opted for one of those smoke on the balcony with a good show or book nights.

As she scrolled through her phone more it began to vibrate. Rafe’s contact popping up on the top of the screen. A warm feeling spread through her stomach, maybe it was just because of the weed. She pressed the green button and brought the phone up to her ear. Admiring the little picture of him first, it was one she took right before she had left for florida. He was holding up their friends dog with a big smile on his face.

“Hello?”

“Heyyy,” A raspy voice said on the other line. Immediately she knew he had been smoking as well, probably with all the guys outside. He could even still be passing the joint around. He could also be smoking a cigarette outside after he’s gotten a buzz, it was his favorite thing to do after a few beers.

She put the laptop that was resting on her to the side, bringing her knees up to her chest. Leaning her head to the side on her knees she smiled softly, “Hi Rafe, you rang?”

He can hear her smile. Rafe knows her like the back of his hand.

“I did, what are you up to?” He knows exactly what she’s doing tonight even though she didn’t even tell him.

The wide grin on her lips dulling slightly, “Uh just looking at some schools in california, also watching new girl.”

“Still wanna leave this place huh?”

She let out a breathy laugh picking at the thread on her bench, “You know me too well.”

“Of course I do. I’m coming over,” She could hear him walking on gravel.

“My parents are asleep Rafe,” It was almost one in the morning and her parents had some golf charity event early in the morning.

He laughed amused, “Okay? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s supposed to mean you have to climb up to my room on the second floor or stay at that party,” Her tone was stern not wanting him to get her in trouble but also praying he’ll come and not wake them.

“Hey I gotta convince you to stay close to me after high school so you brought this on yourself,” He was walking to her house. She didn’t live too far from where this party was and he didn’t want to drive after smoking and drinking. At his words her hand tightened around her phone closing her eyes for a second imagining he was there saying that to her but in a different context.

Rafe didn’t have to do anything to convince her. He was the only one who kept her here. It was why she was still mulling over the idea of leaving the outer banks.

“You better at least be bringing a joint for us,” She sighed feeling giddy about him coming over. He always made her feel like a school girl with a big crush on the cutest boy in school.

“Already had one with your name on it babe,” He always threw that word around like it meant nothing. It meant everything to her.

They bid their goodbyes as Rafe was a few houses away. Less than ten minutes later she heard rustling under her. Rafe was climbing the tree by her room. He stepped onto the ledge before getting hoping down.

“Rafe,” She shushed him harshly hoping her dad didn’t hear. His heavy feet landing with a thud.

He looked at her with a smirk, “oops.” He shrugged not really caring if he was loud. Grabbing her legs that were laid out on the bench and sat down placing them on top. One hand on her shin and the other right above her knee.

He leaned his head back looking at her. That contagious grin on his face his eyes hooded and a bit red from his night out, “So ms. I wanna run away. What’s this thing you’re trying to escape,”

She sighed leaning back, “Dunno. I guess everything. I want to start somewhere new, it’s hard when people think they know everything about you.”

He let out a short laugh, “Yeah tell me about it. Maybe we should escape together, I think you’re the only person who doesn’t see a douche bag when they look at me.”

Her heart burst. If they were in a cartoon there’d be hearts swirling around her head and violins playing.

She shook her head smiling, “No one sees you as a douche bag,” She smirked, “anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter because the family company will be mine after college and people will see that I’m more than just a pretty face with a bad attitude,” He smirked.

“You are a pretty face with a bad attitude,” She agreed before holding her hand out, “Also you have something for me no?”

He patted her legs, “How could I ever think you forgot.”

They smoked and talked all night. She put on a movie on her laptop but it was more of background noise. At almost four in the morning she started to drift off to sleep and soon she was asleep on Rafe’s lap. She just felt so comfortable and warm with his hand rubbing circles on her shoulder.

He carried her to her bed and tucked her in because he knew she got cold easily. He sat next to her on the bed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. A small smile on his face, these were the nights he cherished with her. When the world felt so quiet that it seemed like they were the only people existing. No interruptions from their friends or their parents.

Just him and his girl.

-

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that you never cared

-

winter

She pushed through the crowd of people while scanning the room for the 6’2 man she was meeting. It was the first party she had come to since summer and she was only there because he had begged her to come. It was a christmas sweater party so she had on a red sweater with kittens playing with presents. She had gotten it with Rafe a week ago at a vintage store, it was the whole reason he even brought up this party. Telling her it’d be the perfect place to wear it to.

Spotting her friend Emma she went up to her, “Hey have you seen Rafe? he hasn’t been answering me.”

“I swear I saw him going to the bathroom like a few minutes ago,” She pointed towards the hallway.

“Thanks,” She waved and walked towards the hall.

It was much quieter in this part of the house. She’d never been here before so she didn’t know where the bathroom was. There was a door on her right and left and one straight ahead. She decided to check them all. She opened the door on the left and it was just a closet with towels. The door on her right was the bathroom. She was confused because wasn’t he supposed to be there.

She turned towards the last door and saw some light coming from under. She had a gut feeling this wasn’t going to be good. Slowly she walked towards the door and opened it just like ripping a band aid off and

ouch.

Rafe on top of Taylor Thompson. His hand under her sweater and his lips on her. Taylor’s hands in his hair. At the sound of the door opening Rafe turned around and the girl under him sat up to look.

“Shit,” He muttered feeling his heart sink.

She stood there in complete shock for a second before speaking, “Sorry to interrupt.” She slammed the door closed. Holding back her tears until she was in her car alone. Her feet knowing where to take her as her mind was elsewhere. Why would he do that? The last few months had felt different to her. It felt like there was a possibility of something more.

It felt like he literally ripped her heart out and shoved out down Taylor Thompson’s throat. That blonde bi-

“Y/n! Wait!” Rafe called as he chased after her.

She ignored him not really wanting to see him until she got her emotions in order. Now it was clear he wanted nothing to do with her and never cared about her, at least not in the say way. She didn’t want him to see her cry over him, it felt pathetic. They were outside now she had finally reached her car. Clicking the buttons to unlock it furiously.

“Stop!” Rafe said as he jogged to push her car door closed before she opened it all the way.

“What!” She yelled turning around to him. A look of anger in her eyes.

He took a step back seeing how upset she actually was, “I-It’s not what it looks like.”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t care Rafe.” Crossing her arms defensively.

He furrowed his brows, “Then why are you leaving?”

“Because I can.”

“Y/n-“

“Rafe! I don’t want to third wheel all night so go fuck Taylor Thompson like you want, I don’t give a shit.” She seethed, tears pricking at her eyes.

He shook his head, “I don’t want to fuck her.”

“Then why were you kissing her?”

“I thought you didn’t care,” Now he was getting mad for some reason.

“Fuck you Rafe.”

He laughed bitterly, “Tell me why it bothered you so much.”

She scoffed confused, “What?”

“Why did me kissing her bother you?”

“Because it didn’t bother you. You just didn’t care,”

“About what?” He took a step closer. He was trying to get her to say it. To say that she cared because she liked him.

He knows he fucked up but after her reaction he realized that he had convinced himself she didn’t care when she did. Then he may have taken a few shots and gone into the guest room to breathe and call her. But then Taylor Thompson came in right when the tequila was kicking in and things got blurry. She was on him and he didn’t stop it and she tugged him on the bed and he just couldn’t move or stop. He also couldn’t stop thinking about y/n as it was all happening, wishing it was her.

“About me,” She sighed looking down voice so small.

“I care about you.”

She looked up at him with a frown. She sighed frustrated being able to hold her tears anymore as a few slipped down her cheeks, “No you don’t. If you did you wouldn’t have kissed her.”

She turned around quickly opening her car door and getting in. Rafe got what he wanted, to hear her say it. But maybe he fucked up so bad he can’t fix it. He steps back as her car starts and watches her drive away.

She can barely see between her tears as she drives home. She felt dumb. She felt like he was using her to make his ego bigger. Why did he have to ruin it? The one person who kept her tied to where she is had betrayed her the most. She knew he didn’t owe her any loyalty but she couldn’t help the way she felt.

-

I picked the petals, he loves me not

Something different bloomed

Writing in my room

-

spring

Three and a half months.

It’d been three and a half months of Rafe and her not talking.

After she left the party she promised herself she would never speak to him again. He hurt her and she couldn’t believe she’d let it happen. Feeling dumb for feeling the way she does towards him. How could she have let herself fall for him so much?

He had called and texted her relentlessly at first. Even tried to go up to her in school but she’d quickly turn and walk away from him. After a month of trying to get her to talk to him he gave up. He fucked it up more than he thought. Rafe gave her the space she wanted but he’d always be there in the background if she needs him.

Y/n couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t take him always looking at her with those eyes. Couldn’t take all the time she was spending alone. She thought she liked being alone and spending time alone but she also liked all the time she spent with him. He made her feel so care free and light. The anxiety that was constantly bubbling in her stomach would diminish around him because she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she’s not.

But enough was enough.

Ever since middle school she had kept a diary. A few stacks of books tucked away in the back of her closet hid her deepest feelings and every detail about her life. The current one she had been filling was almost full and the last quarter of the notebook was all Rafe. Well to be honest he was in all of them, and not in a weird way. He was just always there, they were always together.

But now that they didn’t spend time together her pages consisted of rants of her boring school days and writing different scenarios she had wished happened that night instead of what did. She had ranted about how he made her feel and how she felt seeing him on some other girl. A girl that wasn’t her. It should have been her.

After everything they had done together how could he not see her in the way she sees him? Maybe he did live up to his cold hearted reputation. Even though he had never done anything wrong before. She actually can’t remember the last time she saw him hook up with anyone. Not since the beginning of junior year and back then he was fully in his coke addiction. She remembers that night like it was yesterday.

They had become friends around that time the year before. Summer before sophomore year they met at midsummers when she caught him and his friends in the storage closet drinking from a bottle of vodka. Y/n told them she wouldn’t say anything if they let her have some. Rafe immediately liked her, she knew what she wanted and she got it.

Now it was a year later and he can feel her eyes on him as he kissed some rich touron. He was high out of his mind and he just wanted to make y/n jealous. But it didn’t work, the look he had caught from her as he trailed behind the redhead he just met was one more of disappointment. He felt his heart clench at the feeling. After that night he decided to get clean and stop the hard drugs because he hated that look.

She couldn’t take it anymore, keeping all of her feelings on sheets of paper. She needed to find him and yell at or just do something. He has confused her for years now and she was sick of it. Especially now that Rafe and her were closer than ever. All her pent of feelings seeped through as she sighed exasperatedly, putting her pen that had been furiously writing down. Slamming it on the desk as she harshly pushed herself up from her desk.

With anger she had stormed out of the house and driven to his. Her sneakers stomping on the ground as she marched towards him. Every one of their memories together flashing through her head.

She had spotted him on the dock and was b lining towards him. Rafe’s head turned as he heard her stomping towards him. His stomach flipped when his eyes landed on y/n, he had really missed seeing her around. Especially at his house. He propped his sunglasses up on his head and hopped back onto the dock. He had been getting the boat ready for a solo boat day to clear his head.

“Y/n?” He asked in disbelief.

“You!” She pointed at him and stopping once her finger was poking his chest, “Why are you the way you are!” Her finger jabbing into his chest with every word.

He watched as her chest rose and fell quickly. He had never really seen her mad before, something he always admired. But now seeing her with furrowed brows and steam practically coming out of her ears, he kind of liked it. Rafe knows he shouldn’t be thinking about how cute she looks and instead be getting on his knees begging for forgiveness.

He had really missed seeing her up close. Missed how dark her lashes were and how glossy her plump lips always were. He counted all her freckles to make sure she didn’t get any new ones while they were away from each other. Her hair was in a style he hadn’t seen on her before.

“Well hi to you too,” He smirked. He couldn’t help himself, couldn’t help use the charm he knew she loved.

She placed her palms on his chest and shoved him, barely making him move. Y/n began ranting, “For the last fucking four years you have been my best friend and you’ve been so confusing! Everything was fine at first but-but then you were always there for me whenever. And you always fucking listened to me. And you’re so funny. I started to feel different and then I saw you at that fucking party,” She glared at him, the image of him on that girl making her nauseous, “And then you changed. You don’t hook up with anyone and you don’t leave my side at parties,” she laughed sarcastically, “You even fucking call me babe sometimes. So I though oh maybe he feels different too then again I saw you on some fucking girl. And you chase after me so Rafe what the fuck do you want from me? Has this all just been bullshit to you? Am I just some fucking girl you get to flirt with to get your weird little fix until you find someone you actually want to be with?”

He rolled his eyes almost offended, “You know you’re not just some girl.”

She scoffed with wide eyes, “That’s all you took away from that. What else am I supposed to think? You make me feel special for years and I just wait and wait. Then when I think things are finally happening you go and kiss some girl.”

“Y/n-“

“Who fucking knows what would have happened if I hadn’t walked in.”

“Can I-“

“I know you would have fucked her and then came home to me to talk about your problems like I’m some wife in the 50s.”

“You-“

“You kill me Rafe.”

“Stop!” He practically shouted as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She closed her mouth and stared at him intensely.

“I was afraid you didn’t feel the same so I kept my feelings down. I’ve liked you since the moment I met you. But I was fucked up then so I didn’t act like it until I saw how much I hurt you. I changed for you and-and then I just got scared. You are someone so beyond me, you are like the nicest smartest most beautiful person. Why the fuck would you want me?” He laughed like it was obvious, “And we’re such good friends it was terrifying to think about how if I fucked it up I wouldn’t have you at all. No one’s ever actually tried to get to know me the way you have. And then I did fuck it up again,” he sighed scratching the back of his neck, “I shouldn’t have let her kiss me that night. I should have found you and told you what I’ve been feeling since I met you. That I love you so much it actually hurts. And it’s hurt me knowing I made you upset.”

“Rafe,” She sighed as her eyes softened. This was not going at all how she expected things to go.

“I get I fucked it up, so if you still never want to see me again that’s fine. But please give me a chance,” He was actually contemplating getting on his knees to beg.

“You’re such a big dumby. You’ve always had a chance. You mean so much to me. Rafe the only reason I haven’t applied to out of state schools is because I want to be with you. Even if it was just as friends,” She sighed feeling like a weight had been lifter off of her shoulders. A part of her still wanted to punch him.

He took a step closer lifting his hand and softly brushing his fingers across her cheek as he cupped her face, “Will you please go out with me? Because I am so in love with you.”

She leaned up towards him. Their noses now brushing, “I love you,”

He smiled as he pulled her towards him, their lips meeting. The kiss felt like every taylor swift love song playing at once. All the yearning felt worth it in that moments. Their lips moved against each other languidly, like they’ve always been doing this. Rafe’s hands moved to her waist, gripping in all the right places.

Y/n’s hand ran through his hair tugging when his hands reached lower giving her butt a squeeze.Rafe melted at her soft sighs and quiet moans as he trailed kisses down to her neck. Kissing behind her ear. He kissed her cheek as he faced her again. Her hazy eyes and swollen lips made his blood flow to a certain lower part of his body.

“Rafe, this doesn’t mean I’m not still kinda mad at you. You have a lot of making up to do,” She smiled innocently at him.

“Baby I’ll give you whatever you want. In fact, let’s go shopping now for our date tonight,” He kissed her one more time before moving to hold her hand dragging her towards his car.

She laughed as she trailed behind him knowing that one shopping trip wasn’t going to make it better. He owed her big time.

“It also doesn’t mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend because you haven’t asked me,” She smiled smugly at him as he opened the door to his truck for her.

“I guess I have my work cut out for me then,” He said leaning against the frame of door once she had sat down.

“you do.”

He leaned up and kissed her softly, “Anything for you baby.”

[shelbgrey]

Dating Dean Winchester Headcanons:

Paring: Dean winchester x Singer!Reader

Summary: just some headcanons about Dean dating Bobby Singer's niece. -NSFW content warring.

A/n: the winner of the latest poll, there will be a new one up next week. I was so excited and suprised on how many people did the poll, my first one only had six and the latest one had over 100.

❤️Mood board ❤️MasterList

Being Dean's girlfriend isn't always easy, but you get through it. So let's talk about it.

There was always something between you guys, but with your choice of life there was always something in the way.

You two practically grew up together, with Bobby being your uncle and John being his father you two were always around each other.

I think Dean also had a slight fear of Bobby, you were his niece and your practly his daughter.

Bobby wasn't clueless, he saw the way you two looked at each other. He wanted to kick Dean's teeth out, he's extremely over protective. Bobby also knew if anyone would keep you safe it wold be Dean.

“I know you'll take care of her”

On a side note, Bobby refuse to call you 'idjit'

The last thing he's said before he died was, “take care of my girl.. You idjits”

Anyway, Even if you two kept denying it or if your just clueless, everyone would know.

Other than Sam and Cas, your the only one he 100% trusts you. He'd trusts you with his life and your his partner in crime.

What makes your relationship stronger is that you started off as best friends and allies.

You always thought you were losing him, he would always have one night stands and there was Lisa. Of course they ment nothing to him, he just thought he'd never be good enough for you.

He thought you deserved better. “I'm not what you need...you deserve better”

That was the first time you opened your heart out to him, but he put his walls up. The he pretended like nothing happened... Until you went on one particularly hard hunt.

Everything was happing so fast thst neither one of you remember that night. There was blood everywhere and Dean did everything he could to save you, Castile healed you and Dean confessed something he's been wanting to since he was 18.

“I love you... Please don't leave me, I can't lose you”

Since everything moves fast in your lives you both decided to take things slow. Dispite his rugged appearance he's nothing but a gentleman to you.

He's extremely over protective of you, to the point hunts with him got annoying.

“I'm not some damsley in distress, Dean!”

He knows what a badass you are and he knows you can hold your own, but he can't help but be your shield.

That's really the only times you fight, your both very reckless and laugh in the face of danger. You guys stress each other out on hunts.

But, lets get to the good stuff now.

Your the only other person who can drive the impala, you'd rather just have him driving with you setting with him.

You guys love the same music, so your always singing on the top of your longs to old rock songs. Your guys song is Angel Eyes by The Jeff Healey Band.

You always have to be sleeping next to each other to get a goods night rest, even when you weren't together you two shared a bed in the old motels.

Dean refuses to sleep unless you have fallen asleep first, he just needs to know your okay before he can have a good night sleep.

You bake the best pies in his opinion and Sam loves your homemade salsa.

When you guys moved into the bunker you guys made great use of the kitchen, Sam loves your guys cooking.

Speaking of Sam, he's one of your best friends. Cas is your first, but you and Sam have a long history together. You were even the first one to hear he got accepted into college.

We know Cas is like the Winchesters gardian angel, well Gabriel is yours.

About three years into yours and Dean's relationship you broke up, it was around the time Sam went to hell and you guys just pushed each other away.

Gabe knew you guys loved each other, so he worked really hard to get you back together. He did succeed.

You guys might argue about the little things, but he always know how to make them better.

You guys just like staying in and watching movies or Scooby-Doo. You guys love cuddling up in the Dean cave and just ignore the world for a few hours.

He loves cuddles, if your in bed or on the couch he needs to be holding you. He loves it when he's laying in bed and your lying on top of his chest.

He also loves it when you hold him, maybe after a rough hunt he'll love just rest his head on your chest while you play with his hair.

You love just being in his arms, there's no feeling better than that. He loves snaking his arms around you and resting his chin on your head because he just really needs to being close to you.

He's really just a big ol' teddy bear.

He's a rough kisser, he's way taller than you so usually he hold your chin between his fingers and lift for head up to kiss you.

There's a lot of neck and forehead kisses being handed out by this man. He loves wrapping his arms around you from behind and just trail soft kisses down your neck.

He also loves it when you kiss his forehead. It just a small, loving gesture he absolutely loves.

If your cold you'll steal his flannels or his jackets, he had this black and red flannel that he now only sees if your wearing it.

when ever your busy doing research Dean always deliver a tiny kiss on your forehead. He'd just be walking by and he'll give you a quick kiss just to make you blush.

He's good a making you blush, he thinks it's adorable.

Trust is a big part of your relationship, you both had opened up about the abuse your fathers and dumped on you. That was the reason Bobby took you in, he could bare you being in the type of environment he grew up in.

With that Dean made a promise to never hurt or scare you. He refuses to lay a hurtful hand on you. It'll break his heart if you flinch away from him during an argument.

As much as you love Dean, demon Dean scares the hell out of you. The demon knew this and used it to his advantage. He Dean went back to normal he could barely look into your eyes. He blamed himself for the bruises around your neck the demon caused.

“I promised you I'd never hurt you... I'm so sorry” he said. ��it's not your fault”

On a more positive side... You guys have lots of nicknames. You call him Deano or bub and he calls you just about anything but your actual name, Sweetheart is your favorite.

And with FBI names, you take a different approach. While he uses rock aliases you use actor or fictional names.

“agent Sweets, really?” he said playfully. “What? I like the show Bones”

Your like a mother to Claire, she loves you so much and your the only person she trusts other than Jody and the boys.

Speaking of Jody, she took you under her wing immediately. You never had a mother growing up so it was a relief to have her in your life.

You become a mother to Jack too, and your relationship hit a really bumpy road during that time. You hated how Dean treated Jack and it always turned into a fight.

“if you touch him, I swear to God, Dean!”

Den didn't want to be like his father and after awhile Dean's shell broke and he started to grow a soft spot for him, after your lives calmed down you both did end up adopting Jack.

But to legally do that you had to get married. You both wanted to get married so bad, but with your lives you never got the chance.

You weren't gonna get a white wedding, you knew that and Dean thought the Cort house wasn't good enough. So you got married in the church of Elvis in Las Vegas.

NSFW headcanons:

Dean prefers being on top and being the one in control.

He'll mark your thighs with his teeth and biting hard enough to leave a light bruise.

Loves eating you out,your legs around his head. He loves your legs in general and loves leaving kisses on the insides of your thighs. He'd rather pleasure you for hours than receive.

Hair pulling, he loves feeling your fingers in his hair or he'll tangel his fingers in yours and tug on it when he's getting head or about ready to cum.

Bondeg kink, ropes, his ties, belts, he'll tie you up with anything if your comfortable with it.

definitely a fan of overstimulation, he loves the way that your body twitches and you whimper from his touch.

car sex! All the way. loves to take you in the back of the impala, loving the way the windows fog up and the small area gets loud with the noises you make.

He's a soft/mean Dom, it just depends on his mood. But no matter what he always makes sure your comfortable. He loves to take control in the bed but would never push you.

He would really get off on marking you up. He didn’t think he would, as it wasn’t something he thought too much about but when he did it there was no turning back.

He definitely has a Praise kink too, he loves making you feel loved and appreciated. He love how he can easily make you blush. “your so Beautiful”

“you feel so amazing Sweetheart”

He loves hearing you moan. If you try to hold back or even muffle them when it's unnecessary, he'd put an end to it. “don't hold back, let me hear your voice”

He has big chocking kink, he won't be too rough about but he loves wrapping his fingers around your neck and feeling your pulse when he's ramming into you.

This man is amazing when it comes to aftercare. He knows exactly what you need. After your both cleaned up, he'll pull you to his chest to cuddle.

[nicksbestie]

Hiii could i request a Johnnie Guilbert x gn reader where johnnie has a giant crush on reader and reader flirts w him and flusters him

Yes!!! This was so fun to write bc it's my first fic for this fanbase, so pls give me feedback!! and send in more reqs!! <3

Hallway Crush

word count : 1909

no warnings!

pairing : johnnie guilbert x reader

enjoy! <3

School had never really been Johnnie’s thing.

It wasn’t that he wasn’t good enough to pursue an incredible education, it was just that he didn’t normally have the motivation. He wasn’t dumb, he was incredibly intelligent, but he just didn’t have the energy to push to show it most days. He was the kid who always passed, very average but not stellar grades, but every now and then shocked his teachers and classmates with pulling out a top of the class grade. He would laugh and call it his magic trick if you ever asked him about it. However, music was his thing, and because of that, he took every musical arts related class that he could during his years in high school. 

He was a quieter kid, with a much more alternative style of dress, and because of both of these factors, he was a bit of a loner. He wasn’t disliked, per say, but he wasn’t popular, and he didn’t go out of his way to attempt to gain a large group of friends. He had a few friends his age who went to other schools that he saw quite often, and those were good enough for him. He didn’t see a point in trying to put himself out there, so to speak, when he was quite comfortable where he was. Quality over quantity, right? That, of course, didn’t mean that there weren’t times in his life where he wished that more people adored him like they do for a lot of the popular teenagers. 

Sometimes it helped to be more on the outcast-y side. He could get away with silent observation, learning things that nobody had any idea that he knew about. He was a kid people talked so much around, but not to. They weren’t worried that their secrets would be spilled or spread around in any sort of way because they didn’t believe that he had anyone to tell them to, or that anyone would believe him in the first place. But other times, he wished he had more of the school, or at least his grade’s, support. Like now, when he had a massive crush on the most popular student in the entire school. Maybe, if he did, he would have more of a chance. 

He tried not to think about it a whole lot. It wasn’t good for him to dwell on things, as he had learned early in life. It caused his mental health to struggle if he stewed on a specific negative topic for too long, and even though the topic of a crush isn’t inherently negative, the fact that he didn’t feel like it would ever go anywhere was. Being that he didn’t have a lot of friends at the school he was at, he wasn’t a stranger to staring looks and laughing sometimes. He wasn’t exactly bullied or picked on, but when people ran out of new, fresh, drama to talk about, it was easy for them to turn to the kid who was never really speaking to many people. 

He used music to escape his own head, and he always had. It had been a coping mechanism of his for so many years, before he was even old enough to realize what it was, or what had caused him to need it more and more. He was incredibly musically gifted, a natural talent within the dexterity of his fingers for guitar, and it was always a calming thing for him to partake in. Sometimes he wrote his own music, but most times when he just needed a quick release, he would pick a song that he had been resonating with lately and strum through it a couple times. He would get lost in the feeling of the music and the feeling of the strings underneath his fingertips. It was always a thing that caused him to completely lose track of time, and he loved it. It was always a perfect thing to enjoy something you were also so good at. It kept that passion for it alive.

The music room was where he went during his free time. He couldn’t drive, and luckily, his free periods lined up with the music free periods, so he could always be found in that room, playing something on his guitar in the back corner. He also went there during lunch, preferring to spend the time doing something productive for his music. He really wanted to go into a career in music, and he was working so hard to achieve that despite many of the struggles he was facing at the same time. He poured his heart and soul into every song, every piece, that he wrote, and even when he didn’t like the music very much, he was proud of his ability to be vulnerable and put it onto the pages. That had taken a lot of personal growth for him to realize that to put good songs and things that he was proud of into the world, he would have to bare parts of himself for view.

It was during this part of his day, lunch time, when he was sitting in the music room, playing on his guitar. He was the only one in the room, and like usual, he was sitting in the back, not wanting to disturb anyone who could potentially choose to walk in. And after about ten minutes of the lunch period going by, there was someone who walked in, and Johnnie wanted to curse all ancestors before him for this type of bad luck. It would be the one person that he wanted to see more than anyone else in the school, but at the same time, he wouldn’t have been able to really talk to without humiliating himself. Only his luck. 

He didn’t speak to you when you walked in, but he did offer a kind smile when you looked up and made eye contact, before looking back down at his guitar and continuing to work on his own music. You had stopped by the music room because you had a music project that had to be completed, but you weren’t very musically inclined, so you felt very grateful that you didn’t have to present it, only had to turn it in. However, you did still have to make an effort, but you didn’t have a guitar at home, so you were stopping by to use the ones in the music room. You only knew a couple of chords, but it was the most that you knew on any instrument, so it was your best option. All you had to do was come up with a simple melody, a short strumming pattern, and that would pretty much be it, but for someone who wasn’t great at music, that was harder than it sounded. 

And it sounded pretty bad. Johnnie would never have said that directly to your face, but if you had turned around and watched him in the back corner, you would have been able to see him slightly grimacing whenever a chord sounded particularly bad. He wasn’t judging, necessarily, he remembered very well when he had been playing the exact same way, and if he felt anything, it would just be sorry for you because he could see on your face how frustrating the chords sounding incorrect were for you. After about ten more minutes of this, he stopped playing his own guitar, quietly watching and listening to the chords you were attempting to play. He listened to a couple shaky renditions of them, and attempted to play them on his own instrument. 

As soon as he did, you turned around, noticing how he froze as soon as your eyes were on him. 

“No, go on. Please. That’s exactly what I wanted it to sound like. How did you do that?” 

Taking a leap of faith, he got up to move across the room, pulling a chair up next to you and reaching his hands out. 

“May I?” 

You handed him the guitar, nodding, intently watching the way that he adjusted it on his lap before beginning to play it again. 

“You’re not pushing the strings down hard enough, and your fingers are too far away from the fret. That’s why it sounds so… that’s what you need to fix for it to sound a lot better.” 

You laughed, gently taking the guitar back. 

“Sounds so bad, it’s okay, you can say it.” 

He smiled, a blush gently dusting his face. 

“I wasn’t going to say bad. I was going to say buzzy but I felt that might be slightly insulting.” 

You shook your head, taking his advice and focusing on repositioning your fingers the way he had instructed. Strumming downwards, a smile broke out on your face when the first chord sounded so much better. Confidence boosted, you moved to the next one, wincing when it sounded worse than the original. His kind expression didn’t disappear, and instead he moved closer, a question in his eyes before he spoke it. You attempted to hand the guitar back to him, assuming he was going to ask to hold it again for a demonstration, but he quickly cut you off.

“No, keep everything where you are. Can I touch you?” 

You couldn’t deny the fact that your heart was racing. Despite your opposite styles and aesthetics, you had always found the style that Johnnie wore incredibly attractive. It wouldn’t fit you the way that it did him, but it looked so damn good on him, and apparently, he was oblivious to that fact. You wouldn’t have called it a crush at first assumption, but maybe that’s exactly what it was. You hide those feelings, throwing on a cocky look and smiling at him. 

“What exactly are you asking for?” 

He stammered in defense before noticing that you were smiling at him, and the dusty pink that had been on his face now turned a much darker red, and he just shook his head, looking back down at the guitar, refocusing. However, you thought if you were going to be getting closer to finishing this project, you were at least going to have a little fun while you were at it, especially with such a pretty boy right in front of you. 

“Don’t worry, I’m just messing with you. I’d say yes regardless, though.” 

His head snapped back up, an unbelieving laugh slipping out of his lips. 

“You can’t just say things like that.” 

You smiled at him, motioning for him to continue what he was doing, and he did. He moved around behind you to adjust his arm on the guitar as well, and gently moved and applied pressure to your fingertips before telling you to try strumming it now. 

“Why not?” 

He shook his head, instructing you to test out the chord again before replying. 

“You just can’t.” 

The chord sounded wonderful in comparison to what it had sounded like thirty minutes prior, and you were so grateful for all of Johnnie’s help. His head was right next to yours, a gentle smile on his face, a little bit of pride, and a lot of blushing prompted your next question.

“Can I kiss you instead?” 

He turned his head to stare at you, nearly wide-eyed, shocked with the realization that this wasn’t a dream, it was actually happening. This time, he didn’t hesitate to reply. 

“Yes. That you can do.”

[nightlyrequiem]

You fed us 💗Hyper-fem × Valeria💗 (ty sm <3 ily) Now, would you mind sparing some

🩸Creepy-Goth × Valeria🩸?

AHHH I love the gothic subculture. I wanted to be goth when I was younger, but I was both too poor to buy any clothes and not crafty enough to make or alter my own. I also couldn't get into the music 😔

I'm not sure if you wanted a one-shot or headcanons but I feel headcanons will be best to cover everything!

Will forever have a place in my heart though <3

Valeria with a Goth S/O

A goth in a small town with a very warm climate is very uncommon. In all her thirty-eight years of living Valeria had never seen a goth person IRL. You were in such an odd place too. Well, not odd for normal-dressed dressed people. Seeing you in your long black flowing skirt with your layered black tops and tangles of jewelry caught her a little off guard. Even your makeup seemed unusual. White face with exaggerated eyeliner and contour, black lipstick. And you were just in a coffee shop ordering a coffee.

She approached you, because of course she did, she couldn't just not see what was going on. You were sat at a table by yourself with your laptop. Valeria's first ever words to you were "It's not Halloween yet." She thought it was funny, but you just gave her a singular bored look and went right back to ignoring her. You've heard it all.

Valeria eventually introduced herself like a normal person and asked genuine questions. You were so eloquent and poetic with your words. Using romantic language to explain your hobbies and interests to her.

It didn't take long for Valeria to snatch you up. She did her best to court you. Listened to all the songs and watched the movies you recommended her so she could have conversations about them with you. She even brought you 'animal' bones to add to your collection. Watching your eyes light up made her day.

Most people are weirded out when they find out you're into taxidermy and collecting bones. Why would you do that? That's so weird. You are unstable. Blah blah blah. Valeria didn't seem to mind though. Sometimes she'd even tag along when you went out in search of dead things. She'd even bring you roadkill, how romantic.

Your home is filled with cleaned bones, taxidermized animals, and dried plants. You were very proud to tell her that you cleaned some of the bones yourself. Which devolved into you explaining the process. A bucket filled with water, let it soak, add peroxide, get a toothbrush and carefully clean off any remaining skin or fur. Valeria admired how passionate you were about this.

Other people would've been weirded out. You've been compared to Leatherface and Ed Gein. It always saddened you that people couldn't see the beauty of it'. You were giving a dead thing a new purpose.

Valeria LOVED watching you get ready. Sometimes you'd have hauntingly beautiful music playing in the background or a horror movie. For obvious reasons, Valeria really liked that you weren't all that frightened about blood and gore.

Also, I definitely believe that Valeria has let you goth her up at least once. (And I think she secretly enjoyed it.)

Anyway, back to what I was saying, she likes to watch you get ready. Watching you tease and hairspray your hair was relaxing for her. Corsets, big boots, collard, ruffled blouses, long skirts. Your fingers always clad in chunky rings with bats or spiders or dark gems. Valeria proudly accompanies you in public, showing you off. Or so she thinks. You're really just running mundane errands.

Sometimes you'll say something odd or off-putting. Other people will give you weird looks but not Valeria. She adores how your mind works. She also loves how knowledgeable about bugs and spiders you are. She personally will kill spiders, but she's watched you pick up the non-venomous ones bare handed to either look at them closer or to release them. (I'm heavily projecting here because I love spiders. My favorite is the Goliath Bird Eating Spider, which lives in the rainforest areas of South America.)

She killed one in front of you and found out very fast that you did not like that. She wonders how you'd react to finding out she kills people too. With all the horror movies and books you read she'd think that you would be fine with that. You're very open and passionate about your world views though and Valeria knows you probably wouldn't be.

Like I said, you live in a warmer climate. Las Almas, Mexico to be exact. The scorching sun and all black, heavy clothes don't mix well. Valeria has taken up to carrying around icepacks and bottles of water. She also gifted you an umbrella to keep yourself shaded under1. Black of course. The canopy tapers into the outer ribs like a bat's wing.

Valeria likes it when you plan dates. It sounds cliche but you often set up dusk time picnics in the local cemetery. You're very respectful about the dead. Not trampling over the graves. Picnicking there isn't that bad anyway because the dead are probably happy to get some visitors.

Valeria loves you and all your quirks.

[goodnightoilcountry]

you must like me for me - quinn hughes (a sneak peek !)

a/n: another fic idea i've had in my head for ages ! i started writing it the other day when i was sick and it's currently at 3k words. i'm CONFIDENT that i'll smash this one out quicker than my aho fic so it's the only reason i feel like i can post a sneak peak. but also let me know if you have any requests or ideas you'd like me to write about - i'd love to hear from you 🤍

summary: twelve months since the incident and you're ready to let yourself re-emerge into the public eye in the form of a hockey game. the plan was simple: appear, smile, leave unscathed. easy, right?

The theory of fight or flight has always fascinated you. In the face of adversity, no matter how complex the situation, millions of years of evolution still dictate that humanity will always revert to its oldest survival mechanism: to either assert and neutralize, or: evade and withdraw. 

What you’ve come to learn is that there’s a third strategy nestled between fight or flight, often overlooked because of its passiveness in comparison to its overt counterparts: to freeze. 

And that’s the instinct you’ve found yourself falling back on time and time again. As if you’re hoping to blend into the very fabric of the environment where you can pause amid the chaos, weigh the risks, and soundly determine the best course of action. 

The downturn? 

You’re left vulnerable and exposed the longer you wait. 

But it’s a tactic that you’ve grown familiar with, and it’s the one that’s currently in motion. 

“You can’t do this to her, she isn’t ready.”

“It’s been over a year, we can’t let her hide forever.” 

The commotion of voices being thrown around surrounds you but you’re too swept up with the memories and emotions battling out in your head. They’re leaving you dizzy and disorientated. 

One year. Had it really been that long? God. It feels like one month since you first signed your contract in front of a roomful of lawyers and high-powered executives. Back then, you were too naively charmed by the golden promises of stardom and fame that they were selling you. Promising that your talent for lyricism, bordering on poetry, would resonate with the hearts of girls who all seemed to unanimously share the parallel experiences of all things love and girlhood. That you needed a team that could provide you with the right connections and the right opportunities to get you there. 

And to their credit, they didn’t fail you. As soon as you signed your contract, the label had you in the studio effective immediately with the release of “your” song debuting four weeks later. 

“But I didn’t write this and it doesn’t really sound like me…” 

“Don’t worry about it, honey. We just need to get you on the charts and then you can write about anything you want. Trust us - this is how it all works.” 

And trust them you did.

Your song topped the charts for twelve consecutive weeks. The events that took place after your overnight success were a whirlwind. You released a music video. You did media interviews. You collabed with DJs to release remixes. You performed as a guest on endless TV shows. And when you were done, you thought that you would finally be able to sit down with your producers to start developing the library of ideas and single-line lyrics you had swimming around in your head. 

But they had other plans for you in the form of a studio album, and then rinse and repeat. You felt like you were a human cannonball: shot out, forced to perform carefully curated tricks, and to always stick the landing. 

Your team had done everything they could to meticulously craft your image; selectively allowing journalists to access certain stories whether it be about your work or your life. You were America’s Darling. Until you weren’t. 

A sharp trill of your name grounds you back into reality. You blink and recompose yourself, finding the same four people you entered the boardroom with, staring expectantly back at you. Your mom, your manager, Megan, your publicist, Bec, and sat opposite you across the insanely large table is the VP of your label, Joe. Their expressions are ones you’ve grown used to: sympathetic and slightly defeated.  

“Sorry, what was the question?” 

Megan sighs and shifts slightly in her chair to meet your front. “Darling, I know how hard this year has been for you,” 

Do you? 

“But it’s time for us to come back out. We need to face this.” 

In all the years you’ve worked with Megan, she has never offered you such softness in her voice as she has now. As a manager, a female manager in this industry nonetheless, she had been nothing short of headstrong, sharp, and commanding. Her confidence and demeanour never wavered and, if you were being honest, you were thankful that she held you to the same standard as the rest of your team. It equipped you with a thick skin, something that you wouldn’t have survived your young career without. And it leaves you to wonder where you would be now without her to guide you through this situation. 

“Megan is right,” Joe says. “The world hasn’t forgotten, you know.” 

It comes out so matter-of-factly that it feels almost accusatory. 

“You’re not the first celebrity to be wrapped up in a scandal and you certainly won’t be the last.” 

That line is enough to make your mom snap into a fury again. 

“A scandal? She did nothing wrong,” she chastises. “What that boy did is not her fault.” 

Joe’s impatience is growing evident with every turn of the conversation. As warranted as your mother’s protectiveness is for this particular circumstance, her resistance was stopping one of his biggest artists from bringing in the label money. You can tell he's trying his best to level his demeanour but you also know that the higher-ups are breathing down his neck. He's balancing it as well as anyone could.

“This wasn’t just any boy. And your daughter is not just any girl. The reality of the situation is that just because she wasn’t responsible for what happened, doesn’t mean we can simply erase her from it,” Joe breaks, voice raising ever so slightly.

“She cannot keep silent on this anymore and the longer we stretch this out, the more intense the backlash will be upon her,” he presses on. “With all due respect, we have been extremely patient and have afforded your daughter twelve months. But this is a business first and there is a contract to be upheld. We are giving you the opportunity to write the narrative or have it forced to be written for you.” 

“He’s right,” Bec interjects. She’s always had a good gauge of when to step in when tensions start rising. It’s what makes her such a great publicist - always mediating at the right time. 

“But we don’t have to rush either. We can take it slowly. Start off with a public appearance in a controlled environment. 

The juxtaposition of that sentence could have made you laugh. Controlled environment? If the last few years had taught you anything, it was that no public appearance was ever fully in your control. Your phone number had been leaked more times than you could remember; the media showed up at your house at all hours of the night; private family events were invaded by obsessed “fans”. 

Your mom was quick to make the same connection, “where could we possibly let her go that guarantees her safety?” 

“The suite at MSG has their security system locked down to a tee. We could place her in there with a few friends and guise it as a quiet night out to show their support. Maybe work with the organisation to show her on the scoreboard during a break, totally candid of course, and maybe meet with their guest of the night for some fan engagement. We don’t want the public to misconstrue the appearance as a total cover-up.” Bec rattles off like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

Megan and Joe start nodding in agreeance, chiming in with additional tweaks to the plan that’s now been laid out, and it becomes apparent to you that they’ve had this meeting before without you. Your requested input and presence on the matter was just an act of courtesy. But as vexed as you are with this realisation, you know it makes sense. You were tired of the pitied looks your family and friends gave you, afraid to broach the subject as if it would send you into a spiral. You felt like the public owned you; shunning you into silence with all your actions picked apart and psychoanalyzed everywhere you turned. 

You missed your fans who called for you every day, writing sweet notes of encouragement and rebuffing shallow attempts of hate accounts concocting false stories. You wouldn’t be half the artist you are today without them and they deserved more than just radio silence. And it’s this last thought that makes you believe it’s the only reason you say:

“Just tell me when.” 

[kirikorik]

- And yet you left me. - And yet I left you. You'll never forget…

Joost Klein × fem!reader.

Summary: You loved each other when you were teenagers, then he ran away, and now he's back again, and no matter how much you try to avoid him, you won't succeed... After many years, you receive an invitation to a party in honor of Joost's loss at Eurovision.

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 16+! Triggers! Violence! Sexualization! Sexy theme! Not canon! The story is not reality and everything except the known facts is my fantasy!

I don't know English. Maybe there are a lot of mistakes. ♡♡♡

The party is in full swing. The sounds of electronic music are hitting your ears, but you are laughing happily, feeling the vibration in your chest. You are a little drunk, you want to relax a little after work, so you replace your drink with a new one and go further to the dance floor to forget yourself this evening. This party was a celebration of losing.

Just a few days ago, Eurovision ended, Switzerland won with some damn singer. You had nothing against the performer from this country, but you were still bitter and offended for what you did to the «main star» of this party. Joost Klein was expelled. He could have easily won, the vote ratings in his honor were skyrocketing. People liked his songs, his style, people liked him as a person. But the truth is that people couldn't help but like Joost. He was something of a cherished dream. Unattainable and too mundane. The guys wanted to be friends with him, the girls just wanted him. And yet he was excluded from Eurovision, and now Joost was celebrating his loss, his lost dream…

You raise your hands, the flashing lights in front of your eyes spin, sweat rolls down your forehead. The room is hot and stuffy, but you don't care. You don't care. Your only dream is that this evening will never end and that you will never see Joost again. But he's like a ghost, a silhouette shining in the golden light. Joost is irresistible from the tips of his snow-white hair to his bottomless blue eyes.

The crowd is moving, changing, and no matter how much you blink, you still see only him in front of you. He has white paint on his face, black circles around his eyes, he's wearing his favorite makeup, which makes your legs give way. He looks so fake… Joost is unpredictable. Joost is crazy. Joost… You're fucking in love with him.

Someone steps on your foot, but you don't care. You close your eyes painfully and swear to yourself that you won't open them until dawn today. So as not to see his silhouette, so as not to hear his voice in the songs tickling your ears, so as not to feel his hot palms on your ribs, so as not to cry from how hard his nails dig into your skin. He's standing behind you, snuggling up to you, dancing to your rhythm. He is tall, even very tall, so casually he puts his chin on top of your head and slows down to the beat of his music, as if you are dancing not to loud, rhythmic hip-hop, but to the melody accompanying your unforgettable waltz. People are drunk and don't notice you. You don't want to think about whether it's a dream, whether you feel his touch. You take a deep breath…

You and Joost weren't friends, but you were definitely more than just acquaintances. You've known him for most of your life, ever since you went to school, when you lived next door to him. Joost Klein is a naughty, arrogant wretch. — that's what your parents used to say. Joost Klein was a couple of years older than you, and you were forbidden to communicate with him, but, to tell the truth, you didn't even know him. You often watched from the window of the children's bedroom as he played ball with his father and older brother, but you were always afraid to approach them. Your parents never paid enough attention to you.

Once in childhood, your mother ordered you to put on black clothes. But you didn't listen and chose a white shirt with red hearts. Of course, no one told you that it was very important, your parents ignored you. Standing at the funeral of Joost's father, who died of cancer, you realized what a mistake you had made. Joost looked into your eyes without blinking, as if he had known you for a long time. He probably hated the scarlet hearts on your shirt. You tightened your grip on your mother's hand and lowered your tear-stained gaze to the ground.

He was thirteen, and you were a couple of years younger and didn't understand much when an ambulance arrived at your neighbor's house a year later. You didn't understand much when a body covered with a black cloth was carried out of the house on a stretcher. You didn't understand much when the white-haired boy jumped out after the doctors, screaming loudly and heartbreakingly. You didn't understand much when Joost's older brother held him in his arms, comforting him. You didn't understand a lot, but bitter tears were rolling down your cheeks. You never saw Miss Klein again.

You're afraid, but you still lean back against Joost's wide, sweat-soaked chest, cling to him as if for the last breath of air, but you don't open your eyes even when his right palm begins to slide over your cheek. He knows that you won't dare to look at him, and yet he's watching your face intently in the hope of seeing at least something.…

When Joost returned to school a few months later, he was smiling as if nothing had happened. As if his heart didn't hurt unbearably much. Then, looking at him from around the corner, you promised to share his pain with him. Being the only viewer of his YouTube channel, you, as the most devoted fan, listened attentively to all his speeches. You left likes on his videos, wrote comments, it seemed like you knew everything about him. You weren't sure if Joost at least remember your name.…

When you turned 15, you often watched at night as Joost ran away from home, as each time he was picked up by the same dark blue car with his friends. You dreamed of going to the same place where Joost went one day. He always returned just before dawn, always with a drunken sincere smile on his lips, always happy. Was he happy? Even a fool would have realized that it wasn't.

Your hips move in a slow rhythm to the right and left, Joost pressing his pelvis against you follows your every movement, exhaling hotly into the back of your head, making you tremble and tremble…

You remember the horror reflected on your face when you looked into someone else's blue eyes. So similar to Joost's eyes… A brunette twice your size was pinning you to the wall with his body… It's the first time you've run away from home after your adult friends. The guy standing in front of you was Joost's classmate, one of his best friends. But, nevertheless, it was he who persistently groped you, drunkenly muttering something and ignoring your tears, running his hands under your short skirt. The room is dark, music is blaring outside the door, no one will hear you.…

A calloused palm squeezes your thin neck, interrupting you breathing for a few moments, and then sliding back to your cheekbone. Your ears are blocked, you can't hear the music and Joost's ragged breathing over your temple. He doesn't say a word, but you understand everything and therefore drink the remaining alcohol in the glass at a time. There's no way you're going to listen to him. Do you want to forget about the existence of Joost Klein… And yet you're at his party. And yet you responded to his invitation, but not to the bell.…

You swallow back tears, mumble something about your parents, about your mother, beg him to stop and not touch you. But other men's hands are not listening to you, lifting up your short top. Other people's lips wetly kiss your neck, nibble your shoulders. You try to push Joost's friend away, but you can't do anything, he's older and twice your size, stronger…

You dig your nails into Joost's forearm, trying to stop him and forbid him to stop. You pray that he doesn't stop, and you hope that you're dreaming all this.

The flash is followed by a loud bang and swearing. Dirty alien hands are letting you go. You shiver and cling to the wall, staring wide-eyed at the floor. Your fingers lower the edge of your skirt, wanting to cover your body as much as possible. You're almost hysterical, and when someone else's hands fall on your shaking shoulders again, you shudder violently, raising your head sharply. Joost is standing in front of you. Pale. He seems very scared. There are drops of blood on his cheekbone, the knuckles of his right hand are broken, and his best friend is lying unconscious on the icy floor next to you. But he hugs you with trembling hands and prays that you will be all right. His sweet lonely neighbor, who seems to know everything about him and at the same time nothing at all. Joost was not a fighter, he was not an athlete, and although in junior high he often fought with other children, as he got older, he completely forgot about it. And yet, when he saw you in tears, his fists automatically clenched. He was only thinking about how to protect you. — It's time for us to go home. He says softly, before borrowing an old navy blue car from a friend and taking you away.…

You hate him. You hate it as much as you hate yourself. But for Joost, you are the most valuable, the closest. You're what he always wants, but his hands only touch you when he's drunk. His lips don't know the taste of your lips. His eyes have never seen your naked body. Although he would be willing to give a lot if you told him at least once — yes. You loved him. He knew it, but it was all terribly ridiculous, almost disgustingly funny.

It's cold in the car, it smells like weed and alcohol. Joost doesn't seem to have a driver's license. But you don't even think about it, clinging to the car window and shivering in the front seat. Joost's doesn't look at you, but he's gripping the steering wheel tightly. An oppressive silence fills the interior of the car, and only occasionally your short sobs scare the two of you.

— Bastard… — you whisper softly, bringing your hands back and painfully digging your nails into Joost's scalpel, tangling your hands in his snow—white hair. You think he doesn't hear your words, but Just just chuckles softly and snuggles closer to you.

You don't say a word to each other when your parents meet you at the door of the house more angry than scared, you want to hate Joost for telling your parents everything. But it seems that the contempt in the eyes of your mother and father in Joost's direction is enough for you two.

— Y/n… — he drunkenly mutters your name…

You're under house arrest, and all you have is a view of his house from the window. You cry, remembering everything that happened, and you can't contain your anger when you see Joost climbing out of his room window again late at night. But the car in the yard is already a different color: scarlet, expensive and shiny, and a tall brunette is driving… There is disappointment in your heart, pain in your soul…

His hands tickle your ribs, stroke your waist, pity your body. Joost is unpredictable, like the first snow in October or the last in May. He comes unexpectedly, bursts into your life without any warning, as if you've been waiting for him for a long time. Have you been waiting for him? In response, you are silent, but your trembling hands stroke his cheekbones, slide along his neck while you press your back against his chest. You arch in the small of your back and hear your bones crunch, but it doesn't hurt you, just a little bit.

He smiles, it seems to sparkle and happily at his new girlfriend, a fateful brunette his high school classmate. She is one of the most beautiful girls in school: rich parents, good reputation, excellent grades. Joost is her opposite, but opposites eventually attract, don't they? You bite the inside of your cheek, talking to your friends, but your eyes are glued to the newly minted couple cooing at the entrance to the chemistry room…

— Why again? — you mumble, knowing the answer perfectly well…

When you see them naked in Joost's bedroom through the window of your house, something inside dies. You cry loudly, wipe your tears into your pillow, swallow your sobs and hope that everything will end soon.…

— I promised you, — Joost replies with an ironic laugh, whispering in your ear. Your skin is covered with goosebumps, and tears come to your eyes again.

You're drunk again, you ran away from home again, but now you have a reason for it — non-reciprocal love. There is a fog in my head, a picture floats before my eyes, how you joyfully rush into the arms of some unknown guy. Now you're 16, now you can. Someone's lips are sliding down your neck, somewhere in your head your mind is screaming at you to run, whispering that you don't want this. Your heart squeezes painfully in my chest, and your watery eyes are filled with memories of that damn night when Joost's ex-best friend tried to force you… You feel sick, sick and…

— Do you remember the night I promised I'd never leave you? — that damn grin that suits Joost so well doesn't leave his lips while he leaves a trail of kisses on your neck. Maybe you'll finally come to terms, maybe you'll finally give a damn and just say — yes?

Your head is spinning, and your legs don't hold you at all when long-familiar male hands, covered with ridiculous tattoos, pull you out of someone else's arms. You want to scream, but you just melt under the influence of a few bottles of alcohol and obediently follow Joost through the crowd. Somewhere behind you, you hear a woman screaming. The scream of that brunette bitch, that's what you called her.

— You were very drunk, crying and begging me not to leave you, remember? — Joost is circling you in his arms, hoarsely and insistently, without stopping whispering…

You're screaming. Loudly, tearing his throat out as the car leaves the city. Joost doesn't say a word, he's mad as hell, and except for the look in his eyes — «I told you never to go to high school parties again.» — You can't see anything anymore.

— I'd like to forget… — you see bright lights through your closed eyelids.…

It's night outside, the sky is overcast, and you can't see the moon or the stars, only the headlights of a damn car you know illuminate the road. Joost is looking at you, right into your eyes. His face is young without wrinkles and although his life has been hard, he still has naivety in his soft features. His white fluffy hair, always sticking out in different directions is wet. His white T-shirt is stuck to his chest, he breathes loudly, pulls his light eyebrows together and shushes through his teeth… In all the years that you've known each other, you've never had a normal conversation. But it doesn't seem to be necessary for any of you when you impulsively approach him and find his lips at random. You're fucking drunk giving Joost your first kiss. Joost doesn't push you away, and you beg him never to leave you again, he swears he won't leave you.…

— You'll never forget… — the blond man laughs slyly, resting his chin on your shoulder, you can feel his heart beating in his chest with your shoulder blades, and you want to tear out your own.…

A ringing slap in the face tears the air with a pop. The fatal couple, consisting of an failed singer, a party lover and the obedient daughter of rich parents, breaks up right in the hallway of the school. Now Joost's ex-girlfriend slaps him in the face. It's painful. But instead of at least saying something to her, Joost looks sideways with his icy blue eyes at you…

— Never… — you stutter, and tears come to your eyes… It's not even fair…

You have never said words of love to each other, never swore eternal feelings and promised nothing. You did not meet, did not touch each other, only with glances, only in whispers, only with short poems and songs.

— Never… — he whispers in response to your words, but the music interrupts him.…

And after that, Joost drops out of school, just leaves without even finishing his studies, he doesn't tell you a damn thing, just disappears after your long nights on the hood of his battered car, when you watched the stars with such love, each other…

You beg him to tell you why when he's packing his bags. You ask him to explain to you why when he buys train tickets. You whisper, «What about me?» When he just sighs softly and obediently turns away and goes deep into his house. You do not dare to follow him.

— And yet you left me… — you say, laughing softly, with irony, as lonely tears roll down your cheeks.

A few hours before his flight, you call him on the phone, ignoring the screaming music behind you, the laughter of people and… Joost knows perfectly well where you are, but only listens silently to your drunken pleas to come back, pick you up from this damn party, as he always did. Take you home and take care of you. Joost hangs up, you try again, you text him with loud sobs: — «Damn bastard, I love you!» — But it never reaches him, and a notification is displayed on your phone screen: «The contact blocked you.»

— And yet I left you. — Joost confirms your words. There's no need to lie, you both know everything.

The house opposite is now empty, you will no longer find any of the members of the little Klein family. And neither his friends nor classmates know where he is. After six months, you give up and stop looking for him…

— I was looking for you. — you're not lying, and, to tell the truth, all those five years that you were so far from each other, you kept looking for him. You kept looking until one day you came across a song with a familiar voice on the radio. You were ready to die to those damn lines: «Hearts on her shirt, kisses on her cheeks. Tears, behind which the eyes are not visible, she screamed after: You swore! And I blocked her contact with a bitter smile on my lips.»

— I'm sorry. — the only thing he says, and you don't know if he's really sorry, but you just nod. Tears are already streaming down your cheeks…

— I hate you. — your hands drop, and you finally open your eyes, which are glistening with tears, but still don't turn around.

— It's not true! — Joost exclaims almost resentfully in your ear and jerks you sharply.

In the five years that he was gone, you tried to live without him. You graduated from high school with honors and entered a prestigious university. You forbade yourself to listen to songs and all the art, it reminded you of only one person you've known for a long time.

Your tear-stained eyes express neither hatred nor contempt, only deep resentment when you meet the gaze of clear blue irises. Joost is still the same, although he is five years older. He's 26 now, and your age difference doesn't seem that surprising. Blond tousled hair, the same as before but shorter. Bright eyebrows, the same as eyelashes. He has grown a short beard and a small mustache above his plump lips, but it suits him. He smiles and… It's still the same smile. A smile you haven't seen in so long. And the smile you've been in love with for so long.

Joost suffered and tortured himself all these five years, but he knew that it was necessary, he knew that otherwise his dreams would not come true. Sacrifices were required, and unfortunately, on the way to his success, the first and biggest obstacle was you, and he decided that before it was too late, before things went too far, he needed to leave. But he loved you, loved you all these years, and you can't count the countless drafts and tracks that he wrote for you, but without releasing them in the hope that one day, when he returns, you will forgive him and listen to all these hundreds of tracks dedicated only to you with him. He had a lot of albums with your name on them.

— I don't want to see you anymore… — you mumble, your gaze slides down. You don't want to see his painted face anymore, he always hid behind the mask of his openness. But you knew how his heart could ache, how his hands could tremble, what his needy hugs could be. He needed you as much as you needed him, and yet…

Joost's eyes narrow, he shakes his head with a slight understanding smile on his lips, and then bends lower knowing that you will not pull away and whispers monotonously and hoarsely:

— Liar. — Joost concludes the verdict, crawling with his fingertips under your short top, wanting to feel you closer, wanting you…

— Which one of us is a liar here? — you laugh ironically and put your hand behind his head, tangling your fingers in his blond hair, they feel as soft as before and if you close your eyes you can probably believe that five years is not so much.

— Forgive me, honing(Honey)… — he does not dare to look into your eyes, even though you are looking for his gaze.

The crowd around you is pushing, jumping and shouting something loudly, the bright flashes of the spotlights hurt your eyes, make them water. You feel dizzy, your chest hurts, your legs can't hold you, and if it weren't for Joost's firm grip on your waist, you would have fallen. You wouldn't mind being trampled by a crowd. You wouldn't mind not seeing his face anymore, not feeling the air saturated with his scent…

And yet you can't take your eyes off his makeup, from his plump lips mutilated by a bitter smile. Even if he was regretting it wasn't that he left and left you. But he was definitely regretting for you.

— You know what, I won't forgive you, — you snort, biting your lip. Regret has long settled in your heart, and now, except for tears and aching pain, you can't seem to feel anything else.

— I know you hate me, — Joost freezes in front of your face, looks straight into your eyes, exhales hotly on your cracked, bleeding lips. — I know you love me. — he has an apologetic smile on his lips, but he doesn't regret anything when he touches your lips with a sweet kiss soaked in poison. You don't regret anything, biting his lips in return. The kiss is sour from the taste of blood, salty from the bitter tears rolling down your cheeks, and yet it's the only thing you want from each other.…

The sound of music is deafening, but your heart is beating much louder and your chest is constricted much more than from the touch of his lips. Joost pulls you to him, hugs you tightly, circles you, takes you out of the room. You know that tomorrow won't come. Joost's eyes are clear, clear, blue, almost transparent, so similar to the cloudless sky you looked at as a child. Behind the veil of tears, your eyes look like the cloudy sky that Joost looked at, holding back tears, at his father's funeral. And yet you whisper love to each other, and yet you beg not to leave.…

The loud, ear-piercing ringing of the alarm clock makes your heart skip a beat. You jump up clutching your aching head. The alcohol you drank yesterday makes itself felt and you slide back onto the soft pillow, smearing your bedroom with a blurry look. Fortunately, at least you are at home. A tired sigh leaves your lips and you jerk your head, a damn dream, a damn ghost with the face of your first love — Joost Klein. You roll over on your side and a single tear rolls down your cheek before you turn on your phone, open social media and notice hundreds of notifications. You're confused, your eyebrows furrow and you click on one of the links, looking closely at the photo with the caption: «Childhood friend of Joost Klein…»

In the photo, your eyes are glistening with alcohol, and your pupils are large and dark, your head is tilted back, a half-smile plays on your lips, and you look at the man in front of you in love, but his face is in shadow and you can hardly see anything. You feel awkward, even scared, confused. You straighten up, sit on the bed and zoom in on the image, noticing with a surprised «oh» traces of white paint on your face…

— Good morning, liefste(love). — a familiar hoarse, almost purring purring voice takes care of your ears, you freeze with your eyes wide open and turn to the door. There he stood at the threshold. Almost completely naked, with a rustic food tray in his hands and traces of remaining white makeup on his face. Joost Klein.

Your first and only love. Your first and last addiction. Your first and greatest pain.

— I brought us breakfast! — he laughs and talks as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't disappeared for five whole years and then returned without warning. You frown, the heart in your chest once again makes itself felt, but you shrug off the pain when you notice traces of pinkish kisses on Joost's face, neck, chest and arms. White paint and red lipstick mixed together. Joost grins, and you realize with surprise, but without any regrets, that the heart and the first kiss are now not the only thing that you gave him…

Don't post this anywhere without my permission!

I'm waiting for requests if there are any?

[tomedonaki-hakujou]

Mesmerizer: My Thoughts on why it is THE Vocaloid song of the DECADE

(All thoughts here are highly subjective, and may feature incomplete information. I just wanted to get my thoughts out about Mesmerizer and why its success works a lot.)

As of 2020, the Vocaloid scene has been booming with plenty of new music & activity, each year bringing more and more hit songs, it's almost hard to keep track of them all. With the release of Satsuki and Channel's "Mesmerizer" music video, I think this marks an extremely emblematic song, encapsulating what the 2020s of Vocaloid is all about, and what it can become.

"Mesmerizer" is a short and catchy song featuring Hatsune Miku for VOCALOID4 and Kasane Teto for Synthesizer V. It features a highly chaotic instrumental. It is composed by Satsuki, previously known for "CIRCUS PANIC!!!" featured in Project Sekai. The music video is made by Channel (aka caststation), who is known for various viral Miku animations like mikumikuplaylist and Rabbit Hole by DECO*27. All of these details about this song are very important, and in my opinion, I think they each represent a part of the strength and popularity of Vocaloid culture in the 2020s.

Short Songs and Covers

As of 2020, shorter songs, often less than 3 minutes, have gained a lot of popularity – take a look at Kanaria's breakout hit "KING," or the songs on DECO*27's "Mannequin" album such as "The Vampire," "Animal," and "Cinderella." Part of the major appeal of these songs, and why they work so well, is that they have to be immensely catchy, easy to listen to, and most importantly in my opinion – easy to sing. That's right – one major aspect of 2020s Vocaloid culture are covers sung by utaites, VTubers, and other singers. This spreads the Vocaloid music to people in different audiences. It's much easier to sing and produce a cover of a shorter song than a longer song, and it's much more appealing to do it for a trending song. Kanaria's songs and DECO*27's "Mannequin" songs have gotten this treatment of mass-cover trends due to their singability and ease of production. (Take it from me, it's much easier to publish a Kanaria cover than producers like Yunosuke or Kashii Moimi, from whom I love covering from.) Of course, even aside from Kanaria and DECO*27, there's other producers who create shorter songs with great success – take Nakiso, Suriii (aka Three), Chinozo, Azari, and _x0o0x_ for example.

Although, that's not to say longer songs over 3 minutes don't get popular either – take PinocchioP, Kairiki Bear, Teniwoha, nulut, and Camellia for example. Both song structures have their different appeals, and it's all about how the composer utilizes that time.

However, longer songs aren't necessarily new in the Vocaloid scene, and have been the standard for over 10 years since the scene's beginnings in 2007-2008. It's shorter songs that have emerged as a new niche and new musical approach as of 2020, and it's the style more representative of this era. "Mesmerizer" takes the approach of the shorter song that's arisen in this era, while conveying a strong music composition as well. A shorter song with a stronger composition & musicality has a higher chance of staying within viewer's memories.

Chaotic Composition

Chaos, frenzy – the music style of "denpa" has gained more popularity in recent years with songs like "INTERNET YAMERO" (by Aiobahn) and "Hito Mania" (by Sasuke Haraguchi). (Although "INTERNET YAMERO" is not Vocaloid, it still deserves a mention for its audience & subculture overlap.)

As of 2020, we can hear more experimental and varied composition and production styles in top VOCALOID songs – melodic, consonant, and synchronous music isn't always the move now. Usage of sound effects as percussion (gunshots, glass breaking, etc) creates more appeal or intrigue in certain songs.

The sound design in "Mesmerizer" is, well, mesmerizing. I think it encapsulates a lot of the sweet, simple, catchy and appealing aspects of the short-form song style, while also having complexity & chaos that synchronizes with the main beat/melody. If there's a song I would most directly compare "Mesmerizer" to in its composition style, it's probably going to be "Marshall Maximizer" by Hiiragi Magnetite. Both of them have a lot of chaos going on to create texture in the song, while still being harmonious with the overall composition to create a pleasant listening experience.

There is one part of "Mesmerizer" that deserves a most special mention, which is the bridge – or commonly referred to as the "hypnosis" section. Here, the sound design is used in tandem with the MV and story during Teto's bridge part. The music suddenly seems to fade in and out to convey that Teto is not quite fully "present" in the song; her consciousness slowly fading in and out as she tries to resist hypnosis (what's happening is a low pass filter's frequency point being slowly reduced and then increased, but that's advanced audio lingo that you don't need to worry about if you don't understand).

Unique and special sound design moments like these are what draws viewers into songs and keeps them interested.

The Music Video

While simplistic music videos are common in Vocaloid in the era of 2020s, animated music videos still have their appeal and popularity as well, and have made a bit more of a comeback as of 2022 and 2023. Take songs like:

"Lagtrain" by inabakumori (MV by Nukunuku Nigirimeshi)

"Konton Boogie" by jon-YAKITORY (MV by Ichimaru)

"Override" by Yoshida Yasei (Art by Shishiya)

"Kyoufuu Allback" by Yukopi (Animation by Oz_yarimisu)

"Momiagewo Shakaagewo" by Nunu(...)nunu (dude. I'm not writing their whole name.)

"Kafu-eine" by Hiiragi Magnetite (Animation by Sena Yuuta)

Songs like these have MVs that lend themselves easily to replication for covers or animation memes within the animator community. In addition, they're just very strong and fun MVs in their own right for enjoyment. Not every producer has the energy or resources to create an animated MV like this, but being able to do so certainly gives the song a stronger appeal.

Especially within derivative fanwork, more complex MVs of songs with simpler MVs also get popular. Take the "Gokuraku Meme" that derives from Pepoyo's "Rakuraku Anrakushi" or most notably for this analysis – Channel's "Rabbit Hole" animation from DECO*27's song. These are two strong examples of the power of animation in the Vocaloid scene. Many admire Channel's "Rabbit Hole" animation for its smoothness and appealing style – many have found themselves watching it on repeat as if it's mesmerizing (heh,) but maybe most importantly, the animation features a "shock factor" in the pseudo-sex fakeout scene at the end, which contributes to its virality.

When applying these skills to a full music video, Channel really showed the best of their strengths in "Mesmerizer." Their mesmerizing animation style tells a simple story that keeps the viewers engaged with smooth tweening, strong sense of beats, and of course – enjoyable and cute dance movements. Channel also employs "shock factor" once again, towards the end of the music video in the final chorus – where Miku gets completely mesmerized/hypnotized, and goes crazy-insane. This moment is popularly depicted in the countless fanarts of "Mesmerizer," a testament to its impact. Additionally, the MV has a lot of small details about it that has caused much intrigue and analysis regarding its story. Theorizing about the meaning of songs is a vital part of Vocaloid fan culture.

Project Sekai

Project Sekai is a HUGE factor in the thriving nature of the Vocaloid scene as of 2020. Events like "Proseka Next" help smaller producers break out of niche and obscurity and helps boost their popularity. Such was the case for Satsuki, who won a "Proseka Next" event with their song "CIRCUS PANIC!!!"

"Proseka Next" isn't the only kind of event that helps boost producers. There's the regularly occurring "Vocaloid Collection," as well as demo songs and contests held for newly released voicebanks. Companies like Sega/Crypton and Kamitsubaki Studio regularly engage the community to give it vitality, and spark their creativity.

Although "Mesmerizer" is not a song for any contest or event, it's entirely possible that without "Proseka Next" and the preceding "CIRCUS PANIC!!!" song, Satsuki's "Mesmerizer" might not have been the breakout hit it became.

The Vocalists

Finally, the vocalists. Hatsune Miku VOCALOID4 and Kasane Teto Synthesizer V.

Although she hasn't received a vocal update in nearly a decade, Hatsune Miku V4X is still one of the most popularly used vocalists in the Vocaloid scene – after all, she's Hatsune Miku, who's only become more popular and recognizable to almost anyone on the Internet. Especially in recent years, many takes on Miku's design draw from her V4X design, and Mesmerizer Miku is no exception. Although V2 Miku has strong appeal in her thick hair shapes, V4X's thin hair is easier to draw, adapt to different artstyles, restyle, and reiterate. (This is just my opinion though, I do think V4X is the best Miku for how well she lends herself to derivatives versus her other designs. Also, I think for the case of Mesmerizer, V4 Miku is probably the easiest to animate... Other Miku styles might not have worked for the MV's favor.)

One of the defining factors of the 2020s Vocaloid scene is AI vocalsynth. AI vocalsynth sounds more realistic and is often easier to use than its predecessors. Probably the first notable AI is CeVIO's KAFU, who received plenty of usage since her demos in 2020 and her release in 2021. As someone who owns KAFU myself, I think she's one of the most beginner-friendly vocalsynths – her autopitch tuning is rather pleasant and easy to work with as a baseline, and her configuration quality/ease of use just feels better than other vocalists on CeVIO AI. She also has a great capability for high range, much thanks to KAF's own high note capabilities. On top of that, she has quite the unique vocal tone that makes her instantly recognizable. I think these are all reasons why KAFU is highly popular.

To succeed KAFU, enter Kasane Teto, a beloved UTAU vocalist and character from the beginnings of the Vocaloid scene – now updated for Synthesizer V AI. She shares a lot of traits with KAFU that lend to success – ease of use, good vocal quality, and recognizable voice. Also, both KAFU and Teto SV have origins from a pre-existing fanbase – KAFU in KAF's popularity, and Teto from being a pre-existing popular character. Teto's SV was highly hyped and well-received, causing an explosion in her usages. Of course, UTAU isn't everyone's cup of tea and can be hard to use, and Teto had only been receiving rather niche usages in the 2020s Vocaloid scene – at least, up until her SV came and revitalized her.

In fanon, Miku and Teto have a popular relationship or dynamic, being friends or rivals. To use them both together in "Mesmerizer" builds upon this dynamic and establishes an appealing familiarity. In addition, "Mesmerizer" has a strong overseas reach outside of Japan – since Miku and Teto have high recognizability and popularity therein as well (and also thanks to Channel's preceding viral works.)

(Characters like Adachi Rei, Zundamon, and KAFU are also popular, but lack popularity outside of Japan.)

Although Synthesizer V is known for realism, many Japanese producers use it in a way that reflects "Vocaloid-esque" or artificial charm, which Teto embodies in "Mesmerizer." This makes her voice match up to Miku's more, creating a great duet that doesn't sound too jarring – rather, complementary.

Wrapping-up Thoughts

"Mesmerizer" is a song that, in my opinion, embodies a lot of the things that define the Vocaloid culture of the early 2020s. As someone who's always been an avid advocate and fan of the new Vocaloid scene, it's been amazing to see it come this far and reach greater heights, especially overseas. I remember being frustrated or mad that a lot of overseas Vocaloid fans don't actually listen to 2020s Vocaloid, despite it being highly popular in Japan. But with "Mesmerizer," I have hopes things will start to change. I have hopes that overseas fans will listen to the richness, diversity, and greatness of 2020s Vocaloid. I have hopes they will be drawn into the scene and look forward to new releases by new producers. I have hopes that "Mesmerizer" will ignite new creativity in producers and artists in the future to come, to build a new era; continually contributing to the idea of a "new soundscape." I believe "Mesmerizer" is the defining mark of this era of Vocaloid, and maybe might even become the top defining song in the footnotes of Vocaloid history.

[shoshiwrites]

Can I request Jo and Bucky + 39. a lit candle and a snowstorm, please? 💕

Please forgive me for really only using this prompt as a jumping-off point for fall vibes instead of winter. I was also going to keep this short and OOPS. Biggest hugs to @floydmtalbert for helping me brainstorm this and for answering all my questions, Harvest Festival-related and otherwise ♡ Bucky Egan x War correspondent OC.

sky full of song

She wished Kay were here, to take photographs of everything.

Kay had left Jo with a Kodak Brownie that she insisted she could spare — Jo hadn’t summoned the nerve yet to test it out, fearing she’d break it. The same skittishness she reserved for plants and watering cans and, she hoped, not a lot else. Kay had narrowed her eyes with only a little judgement. “I’d hand over the Rolleiflex too if I had another one to spare,” she said, while Jo made a noise of dismissal. “You’re very much to be trusted, Jo, I hope you know that by now.”

The Kodak, a couple of rolls of film to get her started. That didn’t count the fresh bars of soap packed at the top of Jo’s suitcase, the gin and fernet under the sink, or the tiny bottle of perfume she’d slipped into the pocket of Jo’s coat in the front closet. Jo didn’t remember the label — French, of course, and floral, like the beautiful dresses and suits packed away in Kay’s trunk from home. 

She’d dabbed a tiny bit on tonight, her wrists and behind her ears. She didn’t often wear a scent, or if she did it was something someone might call cheap. Orange blossom, usually, which she loved. But today she’d been out in the fields, observing the Land Army girls and the farmers around the village and the base. Talking about the harvest and about the relatives fighting, as carefully as they could. It loomed above them, behind them, below, the Norwich Blitz of the year before, the war still ahead, the news out of Italy they’d all been following on the radio. 

She was still dressed for the day outside, amongst the dry grass and the cow patties, having been too caught up in edits and wiring to change out of her trousers and light peasant blouse. She’d adjusted the blouse in the mirror in her room, tucked it in more carefully, and tried to do something with her hair — it still wisped out around her ears, the back of her neck. And, of course, she’d changed her shoes. 

It had even been sunny, and what you might call warm — it accounted for the tiniest hint of copper in her brown hair, and something almost like a tan, or as much as you could get in late September. She feels warm here, inside the village hall, the day’s sun and the stuffiness of the building, despite the beautiful decorations, the food and drink, the music. 

Kay would appreciate the decorations, too — flowers Jo carefully notes for no other reason than to let her friend know — heleniums and coneflowers, deep chocolate-brown dahlias and frilly white yarrow and coppertips, delicate cosmos and chrysanthemums besides. Kay could write a book, she thinks, of flower samples and photos and vignettes. Jo’s article doesn’t need such specificity — it’s about the American fliers joining the harvest festival, the cases of Coca-Cola brought over from the base to join the ale and cider and lemonade, the folk dances, the corn dollies pinned to olive drab by the children of Thorpe Abbotts. They’ve been shepherded home, the children, and now left are the grownups, the fliers, some of the village teenagers not far in age if not the same.

She’s not sure if she craves a ginger beer or something stronger. She knows she needs a cigarette. Cold air, too, maybe even more than the smoke.

There’s still plenty of people — part of why it’s so warm inside, too, she notes – and she slips out to the front steps with hand already in her pocket for her lighter. The stars look even brighter tonight, in the crisp fall air. She lights up carefully, shielding her hand. Her arms are covered in goosebumps, but she doesn’t care. It’s hardly the first time, here or back home. This time, at least, nobody’s locking her out. She sits, takes a drag. Tries not to think about how crowded it felt in there, how for a moment she felt as though she were suffocating.

“Oh good-” she hears behind her. “You’re still here.” She turns to see him behind her, above her, pressed uniform and the stray curl on his forehead. “Thought we spotted you leaving.” In the moonlight, his cheeks still look pink. “You heading out?” 

She hadn’t decided until this moment. “I think so,” she says. 

“Hot enough for you in there?” 

“A bit.”

He takes a second, adjusts to the outside. The chill in the air. Watches her, sitting on the step in her blouse and her bare arms and the hair she’s unpinned now that she’s alone. “Can I walk you home?”

She’d refuse the offer, except the house she’s staying in is at least a ten minute walk, on the edge of the village. A little more, even, ambling along in the dark. She’d refuse the offer, except she doesn’t want to. He holds out a hand to take her cigarette, the other to help her to her feet. 

“You can have it,” she says, before she can stop herself, but he’s handed it back to her already as he starts to unbutton his jacket. She watches the cherry glow, imprinted on the darkness, before she remembers to cup it with her hand. 

“Oh no- I’m alright-”

“Wasn’t a question,” he says, and drapes it over her shoulders before she can protest further. “What would Kay say if I let you catch something?”

She almost snorts. It smells like him, of course, settles the unease in her body before she can worry that someone else will leave the party and see the two of them standing there. It’s also entirely too big. Comical, even. It’s practically a coat on her.

“Pneumonia’s no joke, Josephine.”

“Oh, I know.”

Before she knows it, they’re on their way back to the house, gravel crunching quietly under their feet. It’s enough to walk beside him, here, take the moment to breathe.

The house is quiet too, blackout curtains drawn. Muriel’s gone upstairs for the evening, and it’s with a gentle yank of his hand that Jo leads them around to the back gate, the one that’s never locked. It creaks open, the sound magnified in the dark.

They don’t bother with chairs, or more accurately she doesn’t want to make the noise, open the shed door and drag them out onto the flagstone. They sit, on the ground, in the garden. It smells like earth and cold and she can partly make him out in the starlight, the slope of his noise and his ears and his mouth, eyelashes, the insignias on his shirt collar. He doesn’t let her take off his jacket, even like this.

“Yankees won the pennant,” he says. “On Saturday.”

“I saw. Heard,” she corrects. Her knuckles brush against his on the stone. “I’m glad.” She almost laughs — Lena would be shocked to hear her say so. “Don’t tell my friends I said that.”

She hears him huff a little laugh. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

She looks over at the dark outline of the house, her eyes drawn to what looks like the tiniest glimmer of light upstairs. A candle, she realizes, in Muriel’s window. Jo hopes she hasn’t left it burning while she’s asleep. 

“Can I get you a drink?” she asks. “Kay left a couple of things in the kitchen, some of the hard-to-find stuff. I’m sure we could rustle up some glasses-” She stops, stills, when she notices he’s reached into his pocket for his flask. His pocket, of the jacket she’s wearing, the one that’s trailing on the ground. “Sorry,” she says. 

“What’re you apologizing for?”

For rambling, she wants to say. For not knowing. For taking your jacket. For sending you up there day after day with nothing but a lousy stack of clippings to show for it. She doesn’t believe that, not really, except for when she does.

“Nothing, I guess,” she says.

“Good.”

She goes and gets herself a drink as quietly as she can, carefully making her way back to the spot in the middle of the garden. 

“Are you cold?” 

He shakes his head, tips back the flask. “Used to it.”

She sips at the gin, the sharp, piney flavor of juniper floods her mouth, makes her pull her lips over her teeth. Not enough tonic water, but she’s not about to head back in again in the dark. 

“It’ll be snowing already in Wisconsin,”  he says. She squints at him in the dark, at the warmth she feels beside her. “Or almost,” he corrects. 

“It’s only September.”

“We got snow in late September last year,” he says. “Up north.”

“Not in Manitowoc.” She tries not to stumble over the name, but it halts in her mouth.

He makes a noise that’s almost like a laugh, almost like surprise. “Not in Manitowoc,” he repeats. He hands her his flask; she can feel his arm bump her own. “C’mon, have some of the strong stuff.”

“Gin isn’t the strong stuff?” She takes the flask anyway, tips it back against her lips. She hasn’t had any in a while, certainly not like this. It’s hot in her throat, smoky and burning. The barest hint of honey. Despite herself, she coughs. 

She doesn’t hand it back to him yet, only proffers her own drink. “Only fair,” she says. She can’t see his face too well in the dark, but hears him take a sip. 

“Kay could make a killing here in England,” he says. “The booze.”

“She could.”

Upstairs, Jo notices the candle’s gone out. The warmth of the whiskey and the gin blooms in her chest. 

“When you do think they get snow in England?” he asks. 

There’d been a dusting on the ground in London when she and William had arrived in February. But not much. “I don’t know,” she says plainly. “Why?”

“Figured you’d know these things,” he says, and she can hear a smile shade his voice. “Being a reporter and all.”

She does laugh at that.

“There was a little, when I got here. A dusting. Like icing sugar.” It sounds silly as she says it. Like it hadn’t been pissing rain and cold and she’d had to bundle up in bed like she’d had to when she was a girl, curled up and waiting for William to come up from the hotel bar and whatever story he’d claimed to be chasing. She could think these things now, call it for what it was. That the “stories” usually had blonde hair and long legs, or red hair and short legs, or were anyone but Jo.

“Sounds picturesque.” He sounds like he’s sounding out the word.

“Almost.”

“Merry old England not living up to expectations?”

She takes a deep breath. “No- I just-”

“Just what?”

She can call it for what it was now, but she can’t think about what couldn’t have been. John instead of William, there beside her. During the air raids, the ones she’d almost always had to soldier on through without him. “I don’t know,” she says again. Maybe she should thank god it’s dark outside, so that he can’t see her face.

He takes another drink from the flask, but this time it’s slower. She can’t help it, the way she places her glass down and pulls her knees up, not quite to her chest. She can’t tell if she’s cold or not, between the jacket and the whiskey and the fact that he’s here, quiet and not, breathing, sitting on the ground here beside her. That there had been no questions about it. That she’d sat, and he’d sat. That he’s closer to her now than he was when they started. 

His hand, next to hers, and pressing against it now, and hooking his fingers around hers in silence. She thinks of the names she knows that he doesn’t, she ones she carries in her pockets, the names he stores away in his jacket lining, the barracks, buried out in the field. The runway. The air.

Maybe it’s alright, in this moment, to let them all leave her mind. To hold his hand.

Out beyond the garden wall, something rustles in the trees. A small animal, probably. A pair of birds. They both sit up just a little at the interruption. 

“I don’t know what time it is,” he says. “Must be late.” She motions for his wrist, and he holds steady as she shields her lighter with her hand, reads the face illuminated against his skin. 

“11:17.”

“A good year,” he says. She huffs a laugh. “I don’t know.”

“Me neither.”

It’s getting colder out, as the hour darkens. All that wind coming down off the North Sea. The thought of him walking back all by himself kicks at her heart. 

She wishes they could just go inside together. Go up to bed. She can’t say it out loud, she knows. A secret she can’t let him keep. Not now. Maybe he already knows.

“I can’t keep you out so late,” she says. 

“Protecting my honor, Josephine?” She can hear the laugh that doesn’t reach his eyes.

She stands with his help, her hands clasped around his. They walk to the gate, like holding a breath before they fumble a kiss goodnight in the dark. Slow, and unseeing, only feeling him, his lips on hers. His hand finds the small of her back, slides down to her hip. She leans into him, tasting the whiskey, the smell of him, his jacket still around her. His breath on her cheek. One hand on his chest, and then the other. She reaches, touches his jaw with the backs of her fingers. He hums against her, low and wanting. 

“I’ll go,” he says, like he’s convincing himself too.

“I’ll be back at the base in the morning,” she says, shrugging out of his jacket. Immediately, she’s cold. “You’re not flying tomorrow.”

He takes it, but he doesn’t put it back on. If he’s surprised that she knows that, she can’t see it. “Right.”

The moon is higher now, the stars scattered above. He kisses her again, the gentlest tug at her bottom lip, the brush of his mustache against her. He’s everything, here, where she can barely see him. She can’t help herself from the exhale, the kind that sounds like she’s trying to hold it all in.

“You smell nice,” he says. His voice is the quietest she’s heard. Like a little boy. He touches his forehead against hers, just for a moment. Her hand cups his cheek, thumb tracing. And then he’s gone. 

She turns back to the house, looming in the dark. The wind whistles in the trees, the only light the moon reflected in the closed windows. She wraps her arms around herself, and heads inside. 

[maranigai]

Mohg for the ask meme? 😅

Ah, Luminary Mohg my beloved...

favorite thing about them

Mohg's relations with love, both as a feeling and a concept. He's the person who has been denied any love (or any virtue) from the very beginning of his life, the person who has been abandoned, forsaken - and who was completely enraged and disgusted by it. So he believes that everyone deserves love, and care, and dignity - this is what he promises, sinserely, to his people, this is what his dynasty is for. And, of course, this is what leads to his downfall. His patron deity - an outer goddess of love and suffering - is a sadomasochistic, bloodthirsty abomination, but she grants strength, and how can Mohg deny the strength needed to protect those he loves? Or how can he not listen to his half-brother, who speaks of love, of compassion for all - even if his words are the charm that deprives Mohg of his own heart and will? He loved the world around him so much, no less, or maybe even more, than Morgott, but he refused to put up with its imperfections, its injustice and hypocricy - and first became a bloody monster himself, then lost it all to another monster, with similar motives, but much greater powers, which brings us...

least favorite thing about them

...to Mohg's death. Because he deserved better. Sure, he was a grim power, a servant of the goddess of torment, the leader of a murderous cult that killed and kidnapped people - and I can easily see why Mohg, despite all his original motives, deserved death... but not this death. Because it was such a cruel mockery of everything that was important to Mohg - love, dignity, freedom. It's not that I dislike the ending of his story because it's a bad plot or a writing issue... it's just too heartbreaking. Easily in the top-3 of all the FromSoft's Prepare-to-Cries for me.

favorite line

Ahh, I can see it, clear as day! The coming of our dynasty!

...I'm not crying (cries)

brOTP

Morgott, surely. Despite all of their contradictions, it was Morgott who had been with Mohg in the sewers all those years, it was Morgott who had lived through it all as Mohg had, it was Morgott - and only Morgott - who could truly understand him. Mohg might look up to Godwyn and love his dynasty with all his heart, but Morgott was his twin, his other half, inseparable. and all this is as true for Morgott himself as for Mohg

OTP

Ansbach, because my favourite trope strikes once again, lol. I've also seen some Radahn/Mohg post-dlc art... and honestly, there's something to it.

nOTP

Morgott. They're brothers, your honor! Also Miquella, because... well, I think I don't really need to explain it our lord Mohg deserved so much better

random headcanon

In terms of personality, Mohg resembles young pre-godhood Marika more than any other of her children. They also share an uncontrollable urge to make the least appropriate jokes in the least appropriate circumstances.

unpopular opinion

Mohg does care about the Golden Lineage, despite having founded his own dynasty. He's the eldest (after Godwyn's death) in his family, and he considers himself responsible for the rest of his relatives, feeling that he must protect them as Godwyn once did.

song i associate with them

Heather Dale - Prodigal Son (finally a musical association in a language that most people here understand!)

favorite picture of them

Once again, so many beautiful arts with Mohg. I guess for now I'll pick this art by motgarel

Also a bonus mention of this art with this amazing veiled!Mogh by pumpumkins 

[geminipixels]

2010's Billboard Top “Songs” Family Legacy Challenge

1 decade of music hit's + 10 top charting songs + 10 generations = Musical legacy for the Sims 3.

Welcome to my first Legacy challenge rules made for the Sims 3. Even though the game is 15 years old, it still has an active community that loves a good challenge. This legacy challenge was inspired by how I typically play my own generational gameplay and, of course, Music. Since music is a very broad theme, however, I chose a decade to really base the legacy around that I was well familiar with: the 2010's. And thus this legacy challenge was made in a span of a week, with hours of researching billboard charts, listening to songs, interpreting song lyrics and translating it into the Sims 3. So whether you're looking for a new challenge to play, a music lover or just wanna spice up your gameplay, feel free to play this challenge I created.

Generalized Rules:

This is written as a 10 Generation Legacy Challenge. However, don't feel obligated to play it strictly as it was written. I based the generations based off the decade and chronologically ordered by the year. You are welcome to play only 3 generations, 5 generations. Mix and match generations. Play from Gen 1 to 5 or 5 to 10. It's your game, so play the way that make's it the most fun for YOU!

Each generation is tied to a specific song and artist. I decided to pick the song that charted the most weeks on the billboard for every year, as multiple songs charted as hits or made it to #1 spot, and even came close to 2nd as the Hit song for that year. So if you don't like a specific artist or song, feel free to skip said generation.

This was not made with Base Game compatible (Sorry.) When making the challenge, I tried to use traits and make rules that closely resembled the meaning behind the song. So if you don't have a certain pack or feature, it's okay to skip it or find a way to replace it.

I highly encourage the usage of Mods that enhance and optimized gameplay.

Cheat with Moderation. The aim of this challenge is to ultimately have fun and enjoy gameplay. Cheating is permissible if it correlated with the story. Cheating for a house at the start of each generation is fine, or for Twins during a pregnancy is 100% allowed. But avoid excessive money cheating or cheating skills.

Try to use at least 3 of the recommended traits. Completing every Goal isn't required, but mainly there as a guideline for story-telling. And Optional goals are 100% optional and for added challenges or gameplay.

Most importantly: Have fun and take creative freedoms with this challenge. I wrote it to be as open-ended as possible in terms of heirs and lovers. If some generations seem similar in your opinion, feel free to tweak the story to spice it up more or mellow it down.

Feedback is always welcomed. And if you do play this challenge, feel free to "@" me or post it under "2010's Billboard Family Legacy Challenge".

Generation 1: Tik Tok by Kesha

“Don't stop, make it pop, DJ, blow my speakers up. Tonight, I'ma fight un'til we see the sunlight.”

You were always the life of the party and natural social butterfly. Your family always judged you for being too “Free-sprinted” or “Outspoken”, but you were unapologetically yourself. You stood out from the crowd, were always confident, carefree and had no shame in having a good time. Despite what your family says, your friends all love you, and you're a natural inspiration to those you meet. Even with waking up with a hangover every morning or with unfamiliar faces, you're a natural leader and the creator of your destiny. Traits: Party-Animal, Charismatic, Social Butterfly, Friendly and Rebellious

Goals:

Have a bad relationship with any family/ Move to a new town away from relatives

Have at least 2 best friends and 5 good friends throughout your whole life.

Have a career that involves leading or being around people (Education, Military, Business, Politician…) or be self-employed and become your own boss-babe.

Must hook up with your future lover or spouse before officially dating them.

Spontaneously get a Tattoo and dye your hair halfway through YA. And again in Adulthood.

Go clubbing with your best friends every weekend.

Master the Charisma Skill and at least 3 skill challenges.

Optional Goals:

Throw a party at least once a week.

Master Mixology or Nectar Making skills as a side hobby.

Buy at least one club in town and rename it after yourself.

Name all your children after your favorite club drinks.

Generation 2: Rolling in the Deep by Adele

“We could have had it all… Rolling in the deep. You had my heart inside of your hands… And you played it to the beat.”

You were always the sweetheart of the family. Good-spirited, nurturing and very giving. You were always there for everyone and supported everyone around you, putting others before yourself. But you’d never expected for your Kindness to be taken advantage of by the one you loved most. Before you knew it, your perfect fantasy of a perfect family and happy marriage was taken before your eyes. After the Betrayal, you vowed to never be taken advantage of again and took matters into your hand. Traits: Nurturing, Perfectionist, Hopeless Romantic, Good, Shy

Goals:

Have a high relationship with Parents and Siblings.

Aim to be the perfect child of the family; Making Honor Roll, be Valedictorian, Joining after school activities

As a teenager, get into a relationship very early with a sim from a wealthy family.

As a YA, move in with a lover and get engaged quickly. 

Before wedding, find out lover is cheating on you with another sim. Immediately break off relationship.

Uh-Oh, there was an unexpected pregnancy. You keep the baby but raise them without then knowing their other parent.

After your tragic heartbreak, you decide to ruin your exes' life as revenge.(Up to player’s interpretation).

Be a strong example for your child. Reach the top Level of your desired Career and Master 3 Skills.

Optional Goals:

After the breakup with your high school sweetheart, you have a villainous era: Change two traits any of the following: Unflirty, Workaholic, Grumpy or Mean-spirited.

You give love another chance later in Adulthood and get into a relationship once you reach level 8 of your career.

You always wanted a perfect family but never got the chance: Adopt/foster 2 additional children.

Generation 3: Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye

“But you didn't have to cut me off. Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing.”

Your whole life has felt like a mystery. As if you were cursed almost and nothing felt real. You never knew your other parent, your friends always seemed to disappear and occasionally, you even questioned if you knew yourself. Maybe it’s all in your head. Or Perhaps life enjoys playing a cruel joke on you. Are you the problem? Traits: Perceptive, Genius, Erratic/Insane, Unstable, Brooding

Goals:

Have a close relationship with your single parent.

As a child, make a best friend you always hang out with and visit, then never see them again after aging up until a Teen.

Never have a relationship with your other biological parent until teenage hood.(Or find out the truth of what happened between your parents.)

Master the Logic and Writing Skills.

Master a job in Law enforcement ( Private Investigator, International Super Spy or Forensic Scientist)

Have 3 failed relationships throughout your life. One of which results in a happy little accident.

Your Friends are always seeming to disappear; never maintain multiple friendships.

As a YA reunite with your long-lost best friend. Rekindle your relationship and get married. (Can have more children)

Sometime in your early Adulthood, your spouse mysteriously abandons the family at night and never is seen again.

Optional Goals:

Turns out your best friend from childhood was an occult (Marry an Occult sim)

Write only Mystery Novels based upon your life as a side income.

Just because your life was a mess doesn’t mean you’ll repeat the cycle for your child/children. Spoil and raise your kids to be the very best.

Generation 4: Get Lucky by Daft Punk ft Pharrell Williams

“We've come too far to forget who we are, So let's raise the bar, and our cups, to the stars.”

Well, you certainly have an interesting family history of heartbreak and mysterious tragedy? Grandparent had a heartbroken betrayal. Then one of your parents mysteriously left overnight, leaving the other heartbroken and confused.  It seems like your family forgot how to enjoy the little things in life and have fun? It’s a good thing you're around to lighten up your family legacy and “attempt” to break this angsty story. Traits: Lucky, Virtuoso, Natural-Born Performer, Flirty and Good Sense of Humor.

Goals:

Master the xylophone as a toddler and reach level 5 of one instrument before aging up into a Young Adult.

Always have at least 2 romantic interests at the same time when a Teenager.

Work in a musical job, profession, or start a Band with your close friends.

Perform in a club or play for tips every weekend.

Become a 3-star celebrity.

Idolized your future spouse. Date and eventually marry another celebrity/entertainer.

Master at least 2 skills in an Instrument, and reach level 5 in any additional instrument skills.

Optional goals:

Sometime being flirty and lucky leads to questionable choices: Woo-hoo with 5 sims through your whole life.

Travel to Paris at least once in your life. It’s the city of love, after all.

Who said getting lucky was always easy? Be rejected or fail twice with future spouse before finally dating them.

Make a family of prodigies - Every one of your kids must reach level 3 in some instrumental skill before becoming YA.

Generation 5: Happy by Pharrell Williams

“It might seem crazy what I'm about to say. Sunshine, she's here, you can take a break.”

You're a natural ray of sunshine. Always happy, cheerful and positive. Almost as if no-one could bring you down. Your positive outlook on life is infectious, sometimes obnoxiously so. Some people may call you a bimbo or himbo, telling you to get your head out of the clouds and be realistic. But all the negativity makes you smile and spread your positivity more. Whether they like it or not, nobody can put your light out. Traits:Schmoozer, Brave, Loves the Heat, Excitable, and Absent-minded or Easily Impressed

Goals:

As a child, your parents adopted you a furry friend. Become best friends forever with either a Golden Retriever or Orange Cat.

Join any social after school club during your school years. 

Upon aging up into a teen, make a new friend every sim week and maintain at least friend status or old friends.

Travel to Vacation world one summer with your family, and make 3 friends.

Work in a career that involves making people happy or protecting people (Firefighter, Singer, Acrobat, Magician, Lifeguard...)

Marry a sim that shares at least 3 of the same traits as you.

Spoil yourself and your lover at least once a week.

Optional Goals:

Live by the beach or beach inspired world

Collect everything from the summer festival

Master the Athletic Skill and Charisma Skill

Have a Honeymoon in Favorite Vacation world with your lover.

Have a total of 15 friends before you die.

Generation 6: Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars.

“Stylin', whilen, livin' it up in the city Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty”

Everywhere you go, all eyes fall on you. You have a natural aura that screams, “You own the place” or “Look at me”. And the best part is you know it. Not to toot your horn or sound arrogant, but you know the truth-people want to be like you or be with you, you're the model sim after all. And if they don’t like you, you couldn't care less about irrelevant sims. You're not ashamed to live the high life because at the end of the day, you're the best and above everyone else. Traits: Irresistible, Star-quality, Snob, Dramatic, Mean spirited or Evil

Goals:

Have a strained relationship with all your siblings: They were always jealous they couldn’t be on your level.

Be best friends with parents. You were always their favorite child anyway.

Be a trend setter. Work in a career that you're the face of the company or runs the place. / Make money through owning properties or resorts and name them after yourself.

Live in a luxurious home or apartment.

Become a 5-star celebrity. Everyone has to know your name, one way or another.

Own 2 cars worth over $30,000 dollars. You have to show off your wealth around town.

Only date celebrities 3 stars or higher… You can’t be seen with just anybody, with paparazzi lurking.

Have a secret love child behind your lover’s back.

Be Hardly around for your kids. You don’t have time to raise them when you need to keep up appearances and make others love you.

Optional Goals:

Not everyone can handle your arrogance and natural aura - Have 5 “Haters”/Enemies.

Why leave your influence for just now? You're so great that you need to leave your impression in the future as well. Travel into the future and make a Utopia or befriend 3 sims.

People can’t seem to resist you, and you can’t blame them. Have 3 affairs throughout your life and never get caught.

Live in a city world (Or world with city life) and go to the hottest clubs in town every Saturday.

You're a Trendsetter. And you need to spread your influence as much as possible. Master the Charisma and Social Networking skills.

Generation 7: Starboy by the Weeknd ft Daft Punk

“ You talking money, need a hearing aid. You talking 'bout me, I don't see the shade. Switch up my style, I take any lane. I switch up my cup, I kill any pain.”

Your whole life has been filled with stardom, whether you like it or not. You come from a family with an impactful legacy of being influential or in the spotlight. Your parents themselves were high class, wealthy celebrities, leaving you and your siblings to inherit their spotlight while growing up. But growing up in the spotlight wasn’t as glamorous as your parents made it look. Stardom is filled with people praying for your downfall, fake friends, infidelities, no privacy and greed. It’s enough to make any person turn bitter and spiteful. You tried your hardest to reject it, but inevitably you learned to accept your celebrity status. But that doesn’t mean you won’t work hard to expose it, either. You are the Mf**ing Star-sim, anyway. Traits: Grumpy, Ambitious, Hot-Headed, No sense of Humor and Loner or Socially Awkward.

Goals:

Have a negative relationship with both your parents. They weren’t as great as they made the media believe.

As a child, don’t make any friends outside siblings or pets. You don't need fake friends, they only disappoint you.

Spend most of your time as a teenager away from home, either working or in after school activities.

Reach the top level of the Journalism career. Hollywood isn't gonna be exposed by itself.

Try to ruin your reputation twice but fail. People are so shallow and forgive too easily for some reason.

Always maintain a minimum of 2 celebrity stars. It's difficult to erase your family's influence.

Only get into a relationship when reached level 4 of your career. You're not really a people person, but finding love won't hurt?

Have only twins close to end of YA/ Once reached Adult life stage.

Optional Goals:

Expose your parents. Write a best-selling book about your parents' secrets and affairs.

It's difficult to find genuine people in the spotlight who aren't about clout or money. Marry a poor sim with the Good and Loner traits.

Reach level 5 in photography skills and level 6 of Social networking skills.

Have a secret celebrity expose blog that reaches 3 stars.

Generation 8: Shape Of You by Ed Sheeran

This Generation has 2 storylines to pick from

Storyline 1: "I'm in love with the shape of you. We push and pull like a magnet do. Although my heart is falling too. I'm in love with your body."

Growing in a small and tight-knit household, Your parents always allowed you and your siblings to pursue your interests. And from a young age, you wanted to be the very best, just like your grandparents. You had a competitive drive and always stayed motivated. You never understood how other’s could be so content with the bare minimum, like your twin. Furthermore, you two were complete opposites, but you didn’t let your twin hold you back. You strived for greatness and made a few rivals along the way. But it didn’t matter, as you weren’t letting anyone hold you back. Traits: Discipline, Athletic, Daredevil, Adventurous, Loves the Outdoors.

Goals:

Become better than your twin. Become an A student first, Join clubs first, make friends first…

Reach level 4 in Athletic skill before becoming a YA.

Make 3 rivals/enemies as a child and teen. You can’t help it if other people are sore losers.

Go to university with your Twin, and pursue a degree in Physical Education.

Meet future spouse at a college party, who's also pursuing Physical education and have a negative relationship with one another and start a rivalry with them.

Spend time at University trying to be better than your future lover.

Before graduating, you realized you and your rival aren’t that different. Retire the petty rivalry and hookup with them.

After graduating, your former rival and you become a power couple. Join the same career (Athletic, Military, Law enforcement, firefighter) and dominate the ranks together.

Optional Goals:

Get into a fight with your university rival once a week. Rivals to Lovers style.

Get max influence in Jock social group.

Try to get a perfect GPA in University and continue to outdo your twin.

Travel to China and learn the Martial arts. Master the Martial arts and Athletic skill.

Greatness only produces greatness after all. All of your children achieve Honor roll in their child and teen years.

Storyline 2: "Girl, you know I want your love. Your love was handmade for somebody like me. Well, come on now, follow my lead. I may be crazy, don't mind me."

Growing up, you always admired your parents' bravery and talent in journalism and writing. While your twin was constantly trying to be the best, you were the daydreamer. Preferring to stay inside reading books and daydreaming, about finding your soulmate. You didn’t care too much about school nor making as many friends possible, as you were too busy in your imagination painting your ideal life or dating a supernatural. While your twin was too busy being competitive and trying to be on top, you like taking life one day at a time. Why be like your twin a rush everything, when you can go with the flow and have things come to you? Traits: Clumsy, Artistic, Bookworm, Shy, Hopeless Romantic or Supernatural Fan.

Goals:

Have your best friend be your imaginary friend growing up. They were always more likeable than your twin anyway.

Join the book club as a child. Reading eventually inspired you to write your first novel as a teenager.

Reach level 4 of the writing skill before becoming YA. Master the Painting and Writing skills.

Go to university with your Twin, and pursue a degree in Communications.

Fall in love with a student in Rebel social group /Supernatural sim. Something about this sim seems to help you get out of your comfort zone and shell, and eventually becomes your soulmate you always dream of.

Spend the rest of University pinning after the sim and writing small novels based around them in spare time. Before graduating, finally confess your attraction.

After University, join a career similar to your parent in journalism or becoming a self-employed writer or become a film director.

Write only Romantic, Fantasy, and Drama novels based on your Romance with your lover.

Optional Goal:

Name your all your children after your favorite book characters.

Learn and master the Alchemy skill to impress your supernatural lover.

Have a dark academia inspired wedding and home with your Spouse.

Turn your imaginary friend doll into a real-sim.

Reach the max influence of the Nerd Social group.

Generation 9: God's Plan by Drake

"God's plan, God's plan. I hold back, sometimes I won't, yeah. I feel good, sometimes I don't (Ayy, don't)."

Despite having a great upbringing and supportive parents, growing up you always felt like the underdog compared to everyone else. You tried your hardest, and sometimes things failed to go your way. Kids used to bully you in elementary school, in high school you were rejected and left out. But if you learned a thing or two from your family, it’s to never give up. Your parent’s always did say you would reach your potential later in life. Traits: Unlucky, Loser, Overemotional, Eccentric, Commitment issues.

Goals:

Have no friends as child sim, with exception to siblings.

Switch part-time jobs and after school activities frequently. You can never find your true niche.

Have 3 failed relationships as teenager. Everyone seems to never want to give you a chance.

Change something about your appearance every week. (Ex: haircut/color, outfit, etc.). Maybe fitting in will help with being an outcast?

As a YA, move to an entirely new town or go to University. Maybe a fresh start is what you need?

Reach level 3 in logic skill and Level 4 in Athletic skill. This leads you to have a spiritual awaking and tap into your true potential. Change 3 traits to: Lucky and Charismatic and Irresistible.

Reach level 5 in 4 different careers.

Only befriend sims with compatible zodiac signs to yourself.

After your glow up, sims began to treat you differently but you never forgot your past. Become a heartbreaker and break 5 sims hearts.

Adopt or have a max of 2 kids.

Optional Goals:

Turn into a supernatural sim.

Master Inventing skill and invent 3 sim bots. You weren’t perfect but you can aim to make perfection overnight.

Being a heartbreaker is fun. Break a total of 10 hearts or ruin 3 sim relationships.

Never have less that $20k in your household funds.

Generation 10: Old Town Road by Lil Nas X

"Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road. I'm gonna ride 'til I can't no more."

Your whole family legacy has been filled with highs and lows. Everyone wanting to make a name for themselves, but getting caught up in greed or power and even lust. But you always enjoyed the quiet and simplicity of life. Who cares about being famous or flashy luxury items? You won’t knock your family accomplishments, and you admire their hardships. But your enjoyment in life came from the purest form of being connected to the land and nature. After all, the most fulfillment in life comes from being connected to your roots right? It’s about high time you leave the city life behind… Traits: Animal lover, Equestrian, Eco-Friendly, Loves the Outdoors, Green Thumb or Technophobe(Extra challenge)

Goals:

Join the scouts as a kid and start a mini collection of bugs, fish, rocks etc…

Your siblings always asked for cars or the newest laptop, but you wanted an animal companion. Have parents adopt a horse for teenage birthday.

Move to the countryside or country inspired world as YA, away from family. You love them to bits, but you need a breath of fresh air.

Make a living by being a Farmer, Equestrian, Angler, or Gather. Complete related aspiration as well.

Always have a Horse and a cat/dog in the household. You just love yourself some furry friends.

Marry a fellow Animal lover and Green-thumb sim. Birds of a same feather do flock together.

Compete in the Horse races at least once a week.

Master the Horse Riding Skill.

Have 5 children. You always wanted a big family filled with happy children and animal companions.

Optional Goals:

Master Fishing and Gardening Skill.

Have all pets master pet related skills before death.

Live off the grid. Don’t have any electronic-based entertainment objects in your home. Rots the brain.

Name your kid’s nature-related names.

Embrace the traditional lifestyle. Grow all your produce for meals on your farm (With exception to meats/Winter time)

Build your own ranch or cottage from the ground up.

[barrenclan]

for the next music post: bird song by f+tm is a good one for rainhaze killing asphodelpaw (& then, depending on how the rest of the story goes, him subsequently being haunted by his actions)

Ahh, Bird Song is such a classic. You know the visual I can imagine for this; Rainhaze speaking to himself/his conscience/previous self as the "bird", as he wanders to BarrenClan territory. And then in the part of the song where he kills the "bird", it cuts to him having killed Asphodelpaw.

"Well I didn't tell anyone, but a bird flew by Saw what I'd done he set up a nest outside, And he sang about what I'd become He sang so loud, sang so clear I was afraid all the neighbours would hear, So I invited him in, just to reason with him I promised I wouldn't do it again"

"I opened my mouth to scream and shout Waved my arms and flapped about But I couldn't scream I couldn't shout, The song was coming from my mouth"

Yeah, Rainhaze. Fuck McCafferty though.

"And I know that I'm not a nice guy I hurt people's feelings, I guess I should die But my body says hurt myself, and my heart says to harm myself"

"How did I get like this? So afraid of everything"

Wow, yeah, it really is. Look at these lyrics.

"We're machines that breathe and weep And look really good Trained to kill"

"Send me back in time And I'll bring us back in line Just tell me whose mother I have to kill" <- ermmm. well.

"And I've replaced my heart With metal parts And I'm working out just fine But I can't get it to start"

Lmao? Okay YouTube thanks

JULIE AND THE PHANTOMS MENTIONED!! This AU idea is actually along the lines of my original draft of the script; originally Asphodelpaw and Pinepaw wouldn't have a last moment of connection before she was murdered, so he'd be more torn about her death. But yeah, wailing, I love this song. Watch this show.

"No time for goodbyes Didn't get to apologize Pieces of a clock that lies broken"

"If you could only know I never let you go And the words I most regret Are the ones I never meant to leave Unsaid Emily"

Another classic! I think I've been suggested this one before, but it fits very well of course. Cormorantpaw specifically I can imagine singing it; goes well with Issue 33.

"All day I've been wondering what is inside of me Who can I blame for it? I say it runs in the family"

"But business is business and business runs in the family We tend to bruise easily, mad in the blood I'm telling you 'cause I just want you to know me"

Wilbur Soot is honestly a pretty good voiceclaim for Rainhaze.

"Under the weight of a broken nose It's not that simple, but he won't seem to notice There must be more to this"

"Would do something, if it wasn't all so effortful 'Cause I'm so high, my brain can't even look at the fall And when you've reached the top there's nowhere else to go but-"

I hadn't, but I do like it!

"I'm alive and I can see The water is foul and it's hard to breathe There's lead in the water, there's lead in the water There's lead in the water, and you think that I'm fine I'm stained by the water and only the water I'm drained by the water, are you losing your mind? Dead in the water, dead in the water"

No, I haven't heard of this one before! But you're right, it's very fitting! Also, psh, no one has ever animated before you start animating. If you want to, go for it. I'd certainly be interested!

"Oh, in Pine Point, where I was born The roads are all overgrown And no one's lived there for years The town was never the same The mine was closed in '88 And everyone disappeared"

"Oh, in Pine Point It's deteriorating And your memory started fading"

[seemycee]

🦢 𝙈𝙀𝙍𝘾𝙐𝙍𝙔 𝙎𝙌𝙐𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙎𝘼𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉: 𝘿𝙀𝘽𝙍𝙄𝙀𝙁 🦢

• so here we are again having another debrief this time about the aspect “mercury squared saturn”. i have a lot to say about her, so i suggest you get comfortable cause i will be rambling. as always i’m writing from my own perspective of having this as my tightest aspect. of course you may not 100% align with what i’m saying cause charts differ, but i’m always writing from a place of being informative and just good ole fun. picture me and this post as a fish, tumblr as my fishbowl and you guys are observing me and my behavior. for context, my 6h aquarius mercury is squaring my 9h taurus saturn.

• out of all my aspects i have in my chart i think this is the hardest, and i have so many so you know i’m serious. people who have this aspect are one the highest strongest soldiers, especially the ones who haven’t overcame it and still manage to exist. 

• this aspect manifested in my life in such a strange way and out of nowhere. when i was a child, i had a very high-pitched voice. not the normal young squeaky little kid voice. it gave very much did you suck the helium out of balloons every morning??? this probably has more to do with my aquarius mercury conjunct uranus, but i’m painting a picture for you guys. mostly a lot of people liked my voice minus my father, and a few kids in my school. who assumed i was putting on a voice and should’ve grown out of said voice at 10???

• so because the constant harassment of my voice, i started speaking in a more soft-spoken tone, as not to draw attention to my voice. then on top of that, i wouldn’t talk much so when i started attending middle school people assumed i was shy when in fact, i was the furthest thing from shy. but the thought of publicly speaking, after being judged, so harshly at a young age, gave me really bad anxiety. that i just recently overcame at 21 years old.

• having this aspect 🫱🏾‍🫲🏼 being highly critical of yourself. this hit me like a ton of bricks because mercury is my chart ruler plus i’m a virgo rising so you know, every little thing about myself, i hated. especially during my hormonal teenage years. i used to constantly have this nervous tick where i would pull my shirt back into place after it started bunching up. another one i had where i’m constantly brushing my eyebrow back into place. i always thought people were looking at me. so in my head, i thought trying to be perfect. all the time would spare me being judged.

• the constant, putting myself down was another big one with this aspect. i ruined so many opportunities for myself when i was younger. i let the thoughts of being inadequate get too loud and scare me. i could be 100% qualified to do something, and i would somehow still think i’m completely unqualified to do it. even with people gassing me up. which i hate now as an adult cause, i don’t even think twice about doing something now. 

• like most things touched by saturn. things got better overtime. being insecure about every little thing forced me to work harder and perfect my crafts. funny thing is it took me working in the real world and dealing with people 24/7. for me to be able to shed my anxious skin of my teen self. cause.

1. started to realize nobody cared and we all have our own issues we’re dealing with

2. started noticing people don’t perceive me the way i perceive myself

3. i was caught up in a outdated way of viewing myself that i didn’t notice the change and development of myself

• on a lighter note another way this aspect manifested for me is me being a history nut. i love all types of history, especially music history. i’m like a human shazam. think of the most obscure song playing in a store and i bet you, i can name the artist performing the song and give you details about their career. i also consume an unhealthy amount of history content from youtube. mainly old true crime and beauty practices from different time periods.

• also another thing i noticed with this aspect is not being able to share your ideas. i remember wanting to contribute to certain things then going never mind because i thought my ideas were dumb. then having people pull my teeth to get me to share and be blown away with said ideas. ex: all my friends up here in ny make drill music or r&b music. then you have me over here going against the grain composing new wave/post disco music which is just disco music without the beat overpowering the vocals. i’ve been doing this in private for weeks and i didn’t wanna share it with my friends or mother cause i didn’t think it was urban enough and that it was a silly idea that wasn’t gonna go anywhere and i just fall back into writing regular r&b music. i ended up telling them cause i like new wave a lot more than r&b music and i’m passionate about it. they actually liked the direction i’m going in, so it wasn’t silly idea after all.

• lastly i was so late to social media in terms of taking pictures of myself and posting them online. omg i used to hate the idea of even exposing myself in that manner. my friend literally had to beg me to join instagram, now all i do is over share and post my outfits. this makes sense since mercury deals with social media and saturn with delays and restrictions. i was already on internet for a long time and had a lot of notoriety on twitter during the mid to late 10s but nobody knew “me” cause i didn’t wanna be known as myself. even when i did start posting myself i started comparing myself to other people and it got bad so quick. i literally used to build up my instagrams just to delete them when i got self conscious. my friends used to hate that cause i used to get a lot of likes and would promote them. *in my gwen stafani voice* : i’m just a girl 🥲

𝙄𝙉 𝘾𝙊𝙉𝘾𝙇𝙐𝙎𝙄𝙊𝙉

• even though this is a very mentally taxing aspect there’s still a lot of positive that it creates once you learn your worth and see your power. i went from being very unsure of myself and constantly self sabotaging cause of intrusive thoughts. to now being fully confident in myself and everything that i do. due to me working and constantly bettering myself as a person. that’s not an easy thing to do but it’s not impossible and everyone will get there at their own pace. 🫂

© seemy cee all rights reserved 2023

[mrsnancywheeler]

i have returned with another idea

so in my head, i think that District 4 has a cute lil celebration every summer in that goes from 8pm to midnight. basically, in order to kinda boost moral for all 12-18 year olds in the District, an event is held every year at the plaza and it’s orchestrated by lots of the adults. the whole plaza gets decorated with sea shells and handmade decorations in a variety of blue colours. it’s all very ocean themed and they call it ‘The Ocean Festival’. It’s basically a huge party which includes, music, dancing, food and even some cute lil games like trying to hook those little plastic ducks.

But there is a main event. The day of the festival, the adults put the name of every single 12-18 year old on seashells (separately) and then all of the kids scatter them across the ocean. There is a singular crabbing pot that will pick up a random shell. it’s somewhere in the ocean that only one adult knows the location of.

Nearing to the end of the festival, that adult swims out and collects the crab pot, and whoever’s shell is inside is crowned as ‘The Oceans Chosen One’. It’s such a cute tradition because whoever is crowned literally gets this cool crown made of shells. Idk why but i always think of Voulez-Vous by ABBA when thinking about District 4- so i can just imagine that song playing while everyone is dancing around the ‘Ocean’s chosen one’. (like the dance in Mama Mia with Voulez-Vous)

But i think you can tell where im finally going with this. So when reader is 16, she is crowned as the ‘chosen one’ and of course everyone is happy because everyone loves her. so everyone is dancing around her and i can just imagine Finnick watching from a distance, just admiring her. Sadly, this was some time after he broke up with her, so he couldn’t be the one dancing with her in the middle of the circle. So instead, Conway was.

Finnick would literally be seething with anger as he watches Conway dance with his sweet girl in the middle of the circle. he’s spinning her, lifting her up and what not. Finnick just glares at Conway’s hands on readers waist as he picks her up and lifts her into the air. All he can think about is how he wishes he could be the one lifting his sweet girl up, and how beautiful she looks with the seashell crown on her head.

sorry for rambling but i’ve been thinking of this all day after listening to Voulez-Vous in the morning and i actually couldn’t stop😭😭

I love this so so much 💋💋💋💋

reader would totally be helping decorate with conway's siblings, just having the time of their life. swimming around to find what they all feel the best places are. and finnick is left to participate with his fair weather friends, he probably 'forgets' to put his in, he doesn't need to win anything else. but he's definitely got an eye on his sweet girl all night.

nobody's really dressed fancy, but it's their non-working, nicer clothing in blues and whites on top of their swimsuits. victors usually buy the food from the markets so the food is better then usual for most of the district. people play music, dance, eat, while waiting for 11:00 when the oceans chosen one is finally announced. reader is fluttering around in her flowy blue sundress, talking to nearly everyone, and even though he's surrounded by people finnick feels so lonely to know you'll never make your rounds over to him. the finally the time has come and it's your name, and finnick's ecstatic to see his sweet girl getting the attention she deserves, the sweet, loving kind from the children and people there.

you look so ethereal in the moonlight shining off the seashell crown, then it's time to dance and the chosen one always gets to pick someone to be their partner for it. and for a split second your eyes catch finnick's before you're moving on to grab conway's hand. and finnick wishes nothing more then to be up there with you, with his pretty girl. but it's you and conway, he just has to sit on the sidelines now.

(kind of a sick parallel for a year later her to be picked at the reaping with conway, while finnick is once again on the sidelines. the ocean chose her, but so did the Capitol)

and you're growing up, so is conway, and finnick can tell that's only made him love you more. with the way conway is looking at you, touching you, holding you, acting like he's the one who's meant to be there. even if finnick's view is obscured by the circles of people he can't bear it without thinking about how badly he wants to be holding his sweet girl's hand right now. so he makes up an excuse to go home to his so-called friends. and leaves, not before nicking your shell, the only part of you he can hold close now.

and when you notice he's gone it's almost enough to ruin your mood because having his eyes on you is the only way you've been able to have his presence in so long. but this is what your life is going to be, so you'll have to get used to it. even if it hurts that he can't celebrate with you.

I think district 4 is so abba coded overall, like idk how to explain it, they just are 💋💋💋💋