#murder husbands is canon stop being dumb

[twitchylittlelamb]

There's so many people on the fandom who say Will and Hannibal died in the fall, or that it's ambiguous whether they lived os died and I genuinely don't understand. To me it's so clear that they survived and Will decided to stick with Hannibal, and is not my shipper heart speaking, it's just interpretation of the show.

First, Fueller knew they didn't want to renew the show, but he said himself he made an ending that would work if it eventually got more seasons.

Second, the post credits scene. There's as amazing tumblr post - that I unfortunately can't find rn - that explains the pararels between Bedelia and Gideon's death. Stealing identity is a reoccurring theme in Hannibal, and most importantly, something that is shown of deserving punishment. Gideon had his leg cut off because he stole the Ripper's identity, while Bedelia had her leg cut for living with Hannibal on Will's place. Also, pack you bags, meat's back on the menu??? He literally said they were going to eat her because he wanted to????

Seriously, there's two empty seats as the table. Nothing in this show is accidental, everything has a meaning, every scene pararels another scene. That's probably the mais reason why this show has such a huge following 8 years after ending, with every rewatch you spot something knew. Do you really think they would show Bedelia's leg cooked just like Gideon's, with two empty seats at the table? After Bedelia said Hannibal only wants to see her dead if by his own hands and only if he could eat her?? After Will said she should pack her bags??? Are you really so dense to think it's not blatantly obvious that they're alive and together????

Will knew they couldn't survive without each other, especially after the pack hunting they shared. If one of them died or got incarcerated, the other would be miserable. He had two options: die together or live together, and Will was ready to accept both. The fall was a leap of faith.

If interpretation of the show isn't enough, them take it from the creators. They literally confirmed they're alive and thriving. God I'm exhausted.

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: after he'd expended his pent-up energy, Wally had followed Rhonda out of the weight room and back up to the main floor where they'd encountered Simon stood outside the English classroom. neither had been sure what to make of him, but, for the briefest moment, Wally had been sure that there'd been more to Simon's ability than even Maddie or Charley knew.

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: panic attacks. eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading, frens

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.19

Wally reentered the school in a haze, his thoughts a discordant refrain of feedback noise as he traipsed down the flights of stairs to the weight room. He was antsy, manic, brain going a thousand miles a minute. The silhouettes of important information indistinct behind a sandstorm of jealousy and confusion. He needed an outlet and the punching bag in the corner was unoccupied.

In perfunctory motions, he wrapped his knuckles in gauze and tape, slashed the air with a few practice swings, and then stepped up to the bag to unleash his aggression.

Thump. Thump. Smack.

He should focus on Simon, Wally knew. On the fact that Simon could see Maddie. That was huge. A piece of the puzzle that reinforced your claim of In Betweens and Maddie's body being out there somewhere for her to slip back in to. Simon's ability explained why he'd dragged you to the bus stop on Tuesday. Why he'd asked you about seeing ghosts. It also explained why Wally had believed Simon wasn't like you and couldn't see what you could see.

Did you know about Simon? Had you simply played dumb last night? No. Wally knew in his bones that you'd have told him if you'd thought Simon could see Maddie. So, aside from Charley, did anyone else know about Simon? Fuck, aside from Ajay, did anyone else know about you!?

It was a game of Clue Wally didn't want to play. Did the person have a hidden cache of money? Did the person know about magic and ghosts and astral projection? Did the person ever use a service road to stalk a teenage girl? Was it Professor Plum in the boiler room with a wrench!?

How many players were sitting on secrets?

Thump. Thump. Smack.

That was the thing, wasn't it? Everyone on the board had a secret. You and Wally. Mr. Anderson. Xavier and his sidepiece. Maddie and Simon. Even Ajay, for fucksakes. And now Charley.

Unlike Rhonda, who was most likely coping on the roof with a pack of Ms. Fields' smokes and Mrs. Arsenault's contraband bottle of wine, Wally couldn't fault Charley for recommending that Maddie not tell anyone about Simon. Not just that it would make Wally a hypocrite, but because Wally had seen Simon. Exhausted and paranoid and scared. A boy who'd been charged with the responsibility of solving his best friend's murder by said best friend.

Wally didn't know what had motivated Charley to keep things on the DL, however, Wally finally understood the gravity of your family's Golden Rule.

It was something Wally had heard Rhonda spit at Charley before he'd been bowled over by the paingriefterror of your panic attack: "You just want to keep him all to yourself so you can talk to Emilio, am I right?" Wally wondered vaguely if Rhonda would regret having said that, no matter how much sense it'd made.

Thump. Thump. Smack.

Simon and Maddie's connection represented a way to reach out from the beyond. Not only for Maddie, but for all the trapped souls in her vicinity. Simon would be run ragged trying to explain the unexplainable: "Don't ask how," He'd have to say, "but here's a message from your dead son/daughter/friend/husband..." And fuck, okay, yes, Wally would spend an eternity in Hell to keep you from that, even if it meant losing his friends.

Or, alternatively, if it meant never seeking you out again; never speaking to you, never touching you—Wally's punches landed harder as images of Xavier holding you close flashed through his mind. Tight, vicious bursts of jealousy that spun the bag in wide sways on its chain.

Wally didn't hate him, but he sure as hell wished Xavier would break both elbows before contracting a chronic case of head lice. The guy was a deadbeat who'd probably never had to face the consequences of his stupid decisions because Officer Daddy had always bailed him out. More likely to abandon you for a new toy than protect you from the monsters like you trusted him to.

It drove Wally fucking crazy that you didn't see it. That, according to you, Xavier was the best thing since sliced bread. Wally had seen how you'd found comfort in Xavier's arms. How you'd gone all pliant and soft for him, molding into his side as if he'd created that space just for you. When, in reality, Xavier was the asshole who'd sought out some peppy, rah-rah pick me to get his dick wet because Maddie hadn't put out. The guy who'd stolen Maddie's phone to delete his mistakes the day she'd been cornered in the boiler room by someone with a grudge.

Xavier hadn't been there for Maddie, and he wouldn't be there for you. Thump. Not always. Thump. Not how you truly believed he would be there for you. Thump. Not how Wally would be there.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. SMACK.

The bag swung violently from the momentum of Wally's last punch, almost knocking him back a few steps when he caught it. He pressed his head against the leather, panting, sweat dripping from his hairline to his chin.

All at once, the anger and jealousy he'd been trying to assuage erupted out of him in a desperate, wild howl.

"FUCK~!"

He punched the bag again, over and over, harder and harder, damp hair matted, sweat stinging his eyes. Hitting a face that wasn't there until it was bloody and mangled, and Wally was spent.

"Whoa there, Rambo, maybe take it down a notch."

Wally stilled the bag with his hands and once more pressed his forehead against it, unwilling to turn around and look at Rhonda just yet.

"You mean Rocky." Wally corrected through labored breaths. She smelt like cigarettes and that Tweed Lentheric perfume she'd died with. Spring earth and chemical ash. "Rambo's the jungle, Rocky's the Eye of the Tiger."

"Po-tay-to, po-tah-o. Stallone doesn't exactly have range," She snided, taking a seat on the bench Wally had thrown his jacket over. "What's got you in a mood? And don't tell me it's about Charley. You wouldn't stay mad at him if he'd strangled your childhood dog with his bare hands."

Wally flinched, "That's...descriptive." He turned and regarded her with a put-off expression, "And Charley would never do that." Charley wouldn't even try to hurt someone's feelings. Sure, he armored himself with snark and sarcasm, but Charley was the most empathetic person Wally knew.

Rhonda shrugged, glaring at nothing as she sat in her sulk. Her lips were stained purple from the wine, eyes a little glossy, posture more relaxed than Wally had seen in a long time. Although she still seemed to have an axe to grind, her party-of-one on the roof had served to mellow her somewhat. No longer vibrating with rage as she had been when Wally had left her and Charley at the bus stop.

"So?" Rhonda asked, blunt, "Why are you beating the crap out of that thing?"

Wally used the bottom of his shirt to mop the sweat from his face, taking his time to decide what to say. There were too many landmines; things he couldn't tell her if he didn't want her knowing just how much he and Charley had in common when it came to keeping her in the dark.

"Thinking about talking to the living reminded me of Gary—" Xavier. "and Jenny—" You. "and everything that went down after Homecoming." Except you weren't going to weep about your dead boyfriend in Xavier's arms and then proceed to make out with Xavier under the bleachers. In front of Wally. "Just. How much I wish I'd had someone to beat the shit out of Z—Gary on my behalf, you know?"

Rhonda peered at him like an optical illusion, narrowed eyes and determination, like she could solve him if she looked hard enough. For a moment, Wally was worried she would. Or, at the very least, she'd make a guess so close to the truth, Wally would have to do something drastic to avoid answering.

Thankfully, he didn't have to as Rhonda stood—a little wobbly—and crossed her arms, hip cocked and brows knitted, "I get it." She looked up at him, focus suddenly sharp as a tack, "I wish I'd had someone to put a bullet between Mr. Manfredo's eyes on my behalf." Her expression slackened into something distant and deeply sad that made Wally's gut roll with guilt.

Wally swallowed, nodded, "Yeah," he said, sounding a bit winded as he leveled his gaze on his sneakers. "I wish that, too."

"Alright, fuck this pity party." Rhonda announced, grabbing Wally's jacket and tossing it at him, "Let's go see if Mr. Mueller still has that bottle of whiskey in his desk."

Snickering, "Because that's so much better," Wally trailed after her. When he stepped out of the weight room and into the corridor, the pits and back of his shirt felt instantly drier. Modest resets were fucking mindboggling but also came in clutch in situations like this, when he didn't have the chance to hit the showers.

Rhonda took her time up the stairs, pace quickly going from sluggish to sober as they entered the main floor. That was something Wally enjoyed about being dead: No hangovers. Their systems reset so quickly, it didn't matter how much they drank, the effects wouldn't last longer than thirty minutes, tops. Oh the fun they'd had (under Mr. Martin's nose, of course).

As Wally was getting into the idea of sharing the whiskey with Rhonda, he spotted a particular someone down the hall to his right, leaned against the lockers outside the classroom Wally had escorted you from earlier.

He wouldn't have bothered to stop, Rhonda certainly wasn't going to, except that—

"Hurry up, Clark, Mueller locks his desk before he leaves," Rhonda said, turning around to walk back toward Wally where he stood at the T intersection of the two hallways.

Distracted, "Yeah, be right there..." Wally answered even as he shifted his body to completely face Simon.

Simon. Who fidgeted with his thumb, in deep concentration as he waited for something Wally wasn't aware of. Casually looked up and down the hallway to give himself something to do.

"I'll go get it myself if you'd rather examine the freakshow," Rhonda said, only slightly nasty.

After she abandoned Wally, there was no one else around. No one and nothing to grab attention, though that would change in a minute when final classes were dismissed at the bell.

And yet...for a solid few seconds...

Simon's gaze fell on Wally and stayed there.

💀___________________________

PART EIGHTEEN - PART TWENTY

also available on AO3!

[mahi-wayy]

𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 - 𝐈 | ᴠᴀʀᴀᴅʜᴀʀᴀᴊ ᴍᴀɴɴᴀᴀʀ

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ : varadharaj mannaar x Fem!Oc

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ : the perfect balance is found in the most violent places.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs : mentioned murder attmept, poisoning, ill character, guns, blood and canon typical violence.

It never happened like it did that day.

Raised voices, harsh language and ridiculous arguments bounced off the walls as if it was just another street in the city and not the royal palace of Khansaar.

It was obvious that when it came to ruling a place filled with such violence, bloodshed and betrayals ; loyalty was hard to come by therefore the very foundation of the whole empire was fear.

Like it has been for years but Varadha Rajamannar was a little different for he was the most gifted ruler Khansaar has seen through years.

He was quite the combination of his father and grandfather. His presence made the court tremble in fear but he also commanded the willing loyalty of the tribe heads and people of Khansaar. So it's not a surprise that utter chaos breaks out when he falls sick.

More specifically speaking, the king of Khansaar was poisoned.

Now Varadha by any given means is not a dumb man, neither is he very trusting, not anymore at least. This was also a big reason for him to have developed a poison immunity by ingesting a small amount of it at regular intervals.

He knew the moment he swallowed the wine that it was spiked, it was thanks to this immunity that he made it to his room in time to collapse in her arms.

Her? Kaalika, his wife, his queen, the most feared woman in Khansaar.

Doctors were called immediately, the check revealing a much highly concentrated version of the poison that Varadha has used to train his body.

“What is going on!? Don't those idiots know Kartha is unwell!?” Her voice was harsh as she talked to the maids in front of the room she shared with her husband, where the doctors were treating the king of Khansaar.

There is a soft knock of the door from the inside which abruptly stops her second round of tearing up the poor maids before it could begin.

The female clicked her tongue before speaking.

“Go to the court and ask Bali to get those animals we call members of the court under control. I better stop hearing this ruckus in the next ten minutes and if I don't and I have to leave the Kartha in this condition just to personally tell those knuckleheads how to behave, none of them will have a head on their shoulders. Got it?”

The maids nodded frantically.

“Good now get lost.”

With that the two females rushed away before Kaalika turned around and pushed the heavy doors to open to enter the room.

She's immediately greeted by the doctor who goes to bow his head in respect and fear only to be stopped by her raising her hand.

“Cut this short and tell me what's wrong with him?”

Her eyes looked over the male's shoulder, over to her beloved who lay unconscious on the bed, it made her blood boil, her hand fisting unflinching from the jewellery digging in her skin.

“The poison immunity was a good idea, his body being used to the fundamental formula helped a lot but it was still concentrated so it will leave some minor problems behind.”

“Like what?”

“Nothing serious, he would suffer fever for a few days, some headaches and general weakness.”

The woman's gaze shifts to her husband again, he's already sweating and his breathing is still not normal. She dismisses the doctors with a wave of her hand before sitting down beside Varadha.

The said male groans shifting ever so slightly before forcing his eyes open.

“Feel like shit.”

If the situation was a little better Kaalika would have teased her man at his rare use of such language but he was burning in a fever, sweating a river and that was after the air conditioning was on and she was burning in concern and anger so it wasn't the time for jokes.

But she still cracks half a smile before slipping her arm under his shoulders and helping him lift himself to drink a little water before helping him settle down.

It was barely fifteen minutes, she was just about to be successful in luling Varadha to sleep when a huge bang sounded, forcing the male jerk upright, which just had him coughing and groaning like no tomorrow.

“My head is killing me.” He groaned before another round of coughs hit him like a truck.

Though she wanted to take a gun and shoot everyone in their stupid heads, Kaalika made her husband her priority. It took him another fifteen minutes to calm down enough to lay back down, as soon his head hit the pillow she got up only to have him hold his hand.

“Where are you going?”

She turned her body to face him before leaning down and brushing her lips against his forehead.

“I'll get back in a few minutes, try to sleep.”

With that she smiles and walks out of the door, the smile dropping immediately. Her anklets make a strong chiming sound as she stomps towards the cause of all the ruckus, the courtroom.

The first sound she recognizes was Bhavik, Vaali's eldest son and the youngest Sardar in Varadha's court; he seems to be trying to break an argument between Shaurya, his younger brother and Veer, Gurung's bastard son.

She walks past the guard, at the end of the corridor which led to the courtroom, snatching the gun from him and firing it.

Two shots, two screams and two collapsing figures.

Shaurya and Veer groan in pain but are not paid attention to as the whole court stands up as she comes to a stop beside her husband's throne, gun still held steady in her arm, still aiming towards the court.

Kaalika lowers the gun when they all drop to one knee and bow their heads.

“Stand up”

She growls, handing the gun back to the guard, glaring at the members of the court as if to kill then and there.

And they knew she could. Very easily.

“All this better has an explanation because you know how I can get when I am pissed off.”

Her voice sends a chill down everyone's spine, the sound of a woman's anklets between all the bloodshed, the long hair meant for styling covered in dark red blood as if it was their nature, eyes now decorated with a kohl incarnation of fire itself and those hands, bathed in blood, holding a gun in one and a sword in another.

Nobody would ever forget what she was capable of. She has made sure of it.

“Explain.”

- To be continued

_________________________

taglist : @warnermeadowsgirl @mayakimayahai @vijayasena

[bohemian-nights]

what do you think of laenyra? 🤔 (Whether book or show or both)

I’m not interested in any ship that involves Miss Maegor(except her x the first van to the nuthouse), but if we are talking about the validity of the ship(there is none) then that’s a different story.

Show!Laenyra does not exist. I wished the morons who are trying to make fetch happen would stop using Show!Laena in their fanart because show!Miss Maegor viewed Laena as competition(see Missy Anne glaring at her at her wedding).

It’s disrespectful as hell to put show!Laena with the woman who shamelessly threw herself at her husband at her funeral(karma hit her fast though, see chokegate). This ship is worse than Rancid. At least that’s show canon.

Don’t even get me started on how the dumb fucking Karen’s who love to shit on Nettles for being Black and existing suddenly care about racism when it comes to Laenyra. The fact that these clowns would rather make up racism than admit the truth is hilarious.

Let me break it down for those who pretend to be death dumb and blind, the show is not racist for not entertaining this bullshit ship.

The show is racist for making Laena seem like second place which is coincidentally the same thing that Becky and them are trying to do with Laenyra and Nettles when they say she should be fucking cut from the show because there are too many darkies around.

The show is racist for screwing over Laena. This show is racist for racebending a character and then proceeding to kill her off in the most brutal way possible in order to make a racist white woman’s death(she had it coming for her) look less pathetic while labeling your deplorable decisions as “empowering.”

Laena is treated as a pet or a prop by these deluded stans and not an actual character who deserved respect love and cherishment. Her purpose was not and has never been to bow down and thirst over a fucking lunatic.

Anyone who doesn’t acknowledge that isn’t ready to have a conversation about this shows biases and their own.

Moving on! The only basis for book!Laenyra is the word fond(which is used in as a comparison between how Missy Anne viewed Laena vs. her stepmother). That’s not enough proof to show that they were fucking or in a throuple situation with Daemon.

If they had actually been in the former Daemon would’ve gotten Missy Maegors dumbass pregnant and Joffrey would not exist(anyone who doesn’t think so is a dumb fuck who needs to brush up on their reading comprehension).

I’ve said it once, but I’ll say it until I’m blue in the face. No one actually cares about this stupid ship. Notice how the only people who ship it are Rhaenyra/Dumbnyra stans.

The only reason why Rhaenyra’s dumbass racist white-supremacy lite stanbase pretends to care about Laenyra is so that they can squeeze Rhaenyra’s ass into Laena and Daemon’s marriage and make it seem like Daemon just can’t live without her.

(Which makes total sense considering he couldn’t live without her so much that he choked her the fuck out in the show after she gave birth to a lizard and abandoned her for Nettles when she went fucking crazy and tried to murder her in her sleep in the books. I guess it’s not true love unless you completely don’t care about your partners emotional and physical well-being☺️).

To wrap this up, I cannot express how much I loathe this nonsensical ship(that’s why I’m censoring any of my cursing). Period point blank show!Laenyra isn’t fucking canon and book!Laenyra has only lint to support it being “canon.”

*I should add that there are people who genuinely support Laenyra and aren’t trying to use the ship to insert Miss Maegor into Laena and Daemons marriage or only view Laena as a prop, but they are few and far between.

[bluewhispersandabsinth]

Movie Night (fic; smol Tsukishima bros being bros)

No Pairing Rating: Gen 2315 words No warnings Just kids being kids and brothers bonding AO3 Twitter

Based on one of my Tsukki head canons: he loves cheesy horror b-movies because he enjoys picking them apart and he used to watch them with his brother when they both were kids.

This can be considered the origin story.

-

Small feet walked down the stairs.

Tap - tap

He liked the feel of carpet and floorboards under his soles but hated the way slippers dangled loosely around his feet and he refused to wear them whenever he could get away with it. 

Tap - tap

Over the cold wooden floor of the corridor in the dark, guided by a weak light flickering through the crack of the living room door. 

Quietly he opened it, not far enough to trigger the treacherous squeak of the unoiled hinges.

Just enough for one eye to peek inside, to find out what was the source of the rumbling he had heard coming from downstairs. A hooded figure, just a head taller than him, sat on the couch. The back straight, the head slowly turning towards the door. 

“Kei, is that you?” 

“Uh, no?” he answered.

Even in his childish mind, he knew it was a stupid lie but lately, he had caught himself saying stupid, non-sensical things more often, just to contradict whoever was talking to him.  He pouted when his brother left the couch to open the door. 

“No?” Akiteru said, slightly irritated. “Who are you, then? An axe murderer? Because that's what I thought for a second when the door suddenly opened.”

“That’s silly!” Kei snickered, ignoring his brother’s accusatory tone. Aki wasn’t seriously mad at him, he never was. That was the good thing about having a big brother - he could do and say what he wanted but Aki never got mad at him and never scolded him. 

“What are you doing?” Kei asked curiously, trying to squint past Aki to catch a glimpse at the TV. Without waiting for an answer, he walked into the living room. “What are you watching? Is it good? Can I watch, too?” 

Akiteru sighed and, after a careful look into the corridor, closed the living room door. 

“No,” he said firmly in his best older-brother voice and picked up the blanket he had dropped when he heard Kei. 

“It’s a horror movie, isn’t it?” Kei asked. He was already sitting on the couch, legs crossed, hands around his ankles to stop them from twitching with too much excitement. The TV showed a creepy scene of a young woman staring at an old graveyard through her bedroom window in the middle of a stormy night. 

“That’s so cool!” Kei grinned from one ear to the other. “I want to watch it, too!” 

“Absolutely not!” Akiteru puffed his chest up and lowered his voice to give it an air of authority. “You’re too young! Horror isn’t for little kids!” 

“That’s not fair!” Kei protested. “You’re a kid, too! You’re just eleven!” 

“And you’re just six, Kei! I’m almost twice as old as you!” 

“That’s a dumb argument, you’re always five years older, that doesn’t make you always twice as old!” 

“Smartass.” Aki ruffled his brother’s hair. “Now back to bed with you. Do you want me to walk you there?” 

“I bet mom doesn’t know you’re watching this.” Kei smiled innocently at him. “I know she told you not to watch this stuff.” 

“Kei! You don’t think of snitching on me, do you?” Aki stared at him, alarmed. Kei thought about it for a second. He hated it when his brother did fun stuff without him because he was too little but snitching was what the stupid kids at school did. 

“No,” he said with a pout. “But I want to watch it with you. Please, Aki?” 

Aki sighed and glanced at the TV. He had missed what happened with the graveyard and now he had no idea why the woman was screaming as she tried to wake up her husband.  He didn’t want his little brother to get scared and have nightmares but he also didn’t want to miss more from the movie. Their mother hadn’t taken many nightshifts lately and it could be weeks, half an eternity really, until the next time he had the chance to watch TV this late. 

“Okay,” he said. He sat down and wrapped the blanket around both their shoulders. “Let’s make a deal! You can stay this time but if you are too scared to go back to bed alone later or have nightmares, you’ll never ask me again before you’re eighteen!” 

“Eighteen?” Kei whined. Eight would have been ages in the future but eighteen! That would take forever. He’d be old by then. 

“Deal or not?” Aki grinned.

Kei frowned, pondering over the offer. Then, he jumped off the couch and hurried out of the living room. 

Puzzled, Aki looked after him. He adored his brother but sometimes, Kei was a little weird and it was difficult to guess what was going on in his head. He went through a stubborn, contrarian streak, their mother had explained, but he wasn’t sure if it really was just that.  Also, what boy in his right mind would ditch a horror movie just to be stubborn? 

Not Kei. Shortly after the quick footsteps had disappeared upstairs they were back on their way down the stairs.

Seconds later, Kei sat down, grinning, with the big, old dino plushie had had inherited from Aki when he was born, and this time, with his glasses on his nose. He held out his little hand. 

“Deal!” he declared triumphantly. 

“Fine!” Aki laughed and they shook hands on it. 

“And now be quiet,” he whispered, wrapping them up in the blanket a second time. “I don’t want to miss more of the movie!” 

They watched in silence. Aki glanced at his little brother a few times to make sure he was okay but Kei’s eyes were fixated on the movie, his face so unreadable, it looked almost creepy in the flickering blue light of the TV. Fortunately, the couple were talking to a priest about what the woman had seen that night, repeating what they had missed when he tried to convince Kei to go back to bed. A weird shadow, apparently. Her husband and the priest suggested it had been an animal from the nearby forest but she insisted it looked too human for that and yet, not human at all. The pencil drawing she made of the creature looked scary, like it was supposed to be a human body but somehow, it got it all wrong and the red eyes looked super creepy. 

He almost jumped off his seat when he heard a sharp his.

“This is stupid,” Kei’s small voice whispered. “Shadow don’t have eyes. And shadows don’t look like humans either. Either she saw a shadow or something else.” 

“What are you talking about?” Aki stared at his little brother, puzzled. Kei pushed up his glasses and frowned. 

“It doesn’t make sense! Why doesn’t she say she saw a weird creature? Why a shadow? Shadows can be anything!

Like the tree in Grandma’s garden! Its shadow looked like a witch with weird hair, remember? Grandpa tried to scare us, saying there’s a witch at the wall in the evening but it was just the tree and the sun.” 

“Uh…” Aki didn’t know what to say to that. Kei was right but it kinda made the drawing less spooky and less fun. “Just keep watching,” he said, gesturing him to stop talking. 

Kei didn’t interrupt the movie again but Aki could see that there were other moments when he wanted to say something - he sat on his hands, rocking back and forth and bit hard on his lip. Aki felt sorry for him, it was difficult for Kei to not give in to his impulses when he got something to say but the movie was getting  really dark and exciting and Aki wanted to enjoy it all in peace. 

The husband had left for a work trip and the first three days, everything was quiet. Two days before his return, weird noises came from the basement. 

On the last day alone, the wife couldn’t resist her curiosity anymore. She was scared but wanted to know what was going on. When the noises were back in the middle of the night, she went to see for herself. 

Her candle painted strange shadows over the walls and her face and she looked like a ghost herself in her nightgown. Kei hissed again next to him but didn’t say anything so Aki ignored him. 

She reached the end of the stairs and stepped into the darkness, barely able to see what was lying in front of her. The shadows behind her came closer. Aki tightly hugged one of the sofa cushions he had grabbed earlier and forced himself not to hide behind it. 

The shadows closed in. A cold breeze made her shudder and she turned around, two red eyes- 

“This is stupid!” 

Aki yelped and almost fell off the couch. He did drop the cushion when his brother’s angry voice startled him. 

“Wh-wha-!” 

“Why didn’t she wait?” Kei started to rant. “She waited long enough. Her husband comes back the next morning! Why now? And why didn’t she use the torchlight they had used before he left, when they searched the garden shed for the garden sheers?” He scoffed, which sounded adorably funny in his childish voice  but Aki was too bewildered to laugh. 

“And why does she go in her nightgown? And slippers? Walking in slippers is super annoying,” Kei continued. “What if she has to run? And why doesn’t she take a stick or a knife with her or something?”

“Are you…Really nitpicking on a horror movie? Aren’t you scared at all?”

“No!” Kei scoffed again and Aki could tell he wasn’t pretending. Kei was a horrible liar and it was clear as day that he wasn’t the least bit scared. 

“Not even by the monster?” Aki glanced at the TV. The uncanny shadow monster was floating after the screaming woman. Its eyes glowed with a dark red light and an unearthly noise came from where its mouth should have been, had it been human. Aki quickly looked back at Kei.

“No,” Kei repeated. “It looks like a weird puppet that was filmed elsewhere and somehow cut into the movie. It doesn’t look real at all. That’s so disappointing.” He crossed his short arms and pouted, looking so serious and yet so childish that, finally, Aki couldn’t stop giggling. 

“You’re a weird kid.”

“You’re a kid yourself!” Kei snapped back. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Aki picked up the cushion and made himself comfortable again. “Do you want to watch the rest of the movie or go to bed now?”

“No,” Kei said. “I want to watch it all.” 

“Fine by me.” He swallowed a remark about Kei better not complaining to him about nightmares if he stayed through the gruesome death scene of the couple and the priest. He had the feeling that the movie would rather have nightmares of Kei than the other way around. 

“Where’s Aki?” Kei asked when he walked into the kitchen the next morning. 

“Good morning, son,” his mother greeted him with a smile and an exaggerated bow. “I hope you slept well.” 

“Sorry. Morning, Mom, where’s Aki?” Kei repeated and sat down for breakfast.

“He’s sleeping in a little longer,” their mother explained, yawning. She was always tired when she worked nightshifts but she always made sure to be awake to make breakfast for her sons. She’d sleep once they were off to school. 

“Why?”

“He didn’t sleep well last night,” she said, pouring him a glass of milk and herself a cup of coffee. “He screamed when I came back and walked past his room. Poor boy, he had a really bad nightmare. Is everything okay, Kei, baby?” she asked when he looked at her with wide, surprised eyes.

“Yes. What nightmare?” 

“I don’t know. Did something happen last night? You two went to bed and stayed there as you were supposed to, didn’t you?”

“Sure,” Kei said and began poking his scrambled eggs with his fork. 

“Sure, really?” 

“Yeah. We went to bed as you said,” Kei stated. 

“Is that so?” But her eldest son scuffled into the kitchen before she could ask if they stayed there. 

“Morning, Mom. Morning, Kei. Slept well?”

“Yes.” 

The brothers exchanged a knowing glance. 

Their mother watched from behind her coffee with a raised eyebrow but decided to say nothing. She had a good idea of what probably happened and it didn’t come as a surprise. If she cut corners here and there, she should be able to hire a babysitter for the next time she had to work at night.  Also, Kei seemed fine and Aki had already been punished by bad dreams. It was more important to see that the two brothers got along and stuck up for each other than giving them a lecture about the dire consequences of staying up late and watching movies not meant for little kids. 

Aki sat down and quietly poured himself a glass of juice and began to eat his breakfast. 

“Hey!” Kei pulled his sleeve when their mother went into the living room to take a phone call. “Can we do that again? Watch another horror movie when mom works?” 

“I thought you hated it!” Aki whispered back.  “You said it was stupid and not scary at all.” 

“Yes,” Kei said. “But it was fun to find it stupid. I want to do it again!” 

“Sure,” Aki grinned. “But only if you promise to bring some of your snacks next time.” 

“Promised!” 

“Cool. Mom’s coming!” They went quiet and stared at their breakfast when their mom returned to the kitchen. Kei hummed the theme from the movie credits and was happily swinging his legs under the table. Aki grinned. 

He had already planned to watch another horror movie as soon as possible, despite his nightmares, and with his adorable smartass of a little brother, it should be much more fun than scary the next time.

[dxppercxdxver]

hey juno! 🌙! anyways, I have no clue what jonnymike deathtrap au is but it sounds decently cool!

also, one if you have from any wips with disability rep please!

also this is unrelated but I heard roses was about gay trauma and deep water, and jaws? what inspired that?

P.S. I’ve asked about hhsa for the past two asks, but, that juno character in it and their mysterious nature or disappearance is fascinating so if you have anything on that that would be cool

also P.S. stop sign junction is cool but already was asked so if there’s anything else about it to say and you want feel free to elaborate on it too

P.P.S i just realized spytown means saf and hadestown that’s so cool I’m not necessarily asking about that (unless you want) I just wanted to say this

hello again moonon!!!! once again you are being so kind to me with all of this, so let me see if i can indulge you

once again, putting this all under a cut because. Long

jonnymike deathtrap au is. a very self indulgent project i need to finish, but to try to summarize a deeply and stupidly complicated premise as best as i can, it's a crossover of three different pieces of media? through dumb circumstances me and @firstmatedville wrote a self indulgent crossover where mike nelson (of mystery science theater 3000) and jonny d'ville (of hit band the mechanisms) fell in love and had an epic romance. and then i decided to cross that over with my favorite play, deathtrap, which is a gay murder mystery about a playwright and his ingenue murdering his wife. it is So Much Fun and ransom's been yelling at me to finish and i am so sorry i haven't yet

MICHAEL. (Gestures to the body, almost proud.) Right on the rug. You can’t fault me for neatness.

JOEL. Mickey… What have you done.

MICHAEL. Exactly what I intended, my love.

JOEL. Don’t call me that.

MICHAEL. Why ever not, dear?

JOEL. You— Who are you?

MICHAEL. I’m the same person I’ve always been.

JOEL. No. No. You are a stranger to me, Mickey. (MICHAEL steps away from the body to come comfort her husband, but JOEL scrambles backwards with an aborted sob.) Get away from me.

MICHAEL. (Holds up hands in surrender.) As you wish. (Moves back to JONATHAN’S body, rotating his corpse so it’s parallel with the long side of the rug. Begins to roll the carpet over him, but pauses.) Your heart seems to have taken it.

JOEL. But for how long? When the police start asking questions, when his family comes knocking, what happens then?

MICHAEL. No one will know. (Keeps rolling up the body into a little corpse carpet taco.) Listen, once I get the ball rolling with this new script, we’re gonna take a long vacation, far from anywhere, a place where you can stay and rest, and where I can take care of you. A little cabin in the mountains, maybe.

JOEL. What, so you can kill me too?

MICHAEL. Why ever would I do such a thing? I did this—all of this—for you.

next up, disability rep!! i'm not sure i have any wips with that rn beyond what background disability i include in all my characters, but i did just publish a where or when fic that talks about a character's (non-canonical unfortunately) disability! linked here

third, the inspiration behind roses!! i am a certified autistic gayboy that hyperfixated on jaws upon watching it in october of 2020 and decided that the main characters martin brody and matt hooper had Something kinda homoerotic going on and also Latched Onto Hooper like a barnacle. so i wanted to do an examination of like. queer sexuality and disability and mental health in the 1970s. because both of these are characters with troubled pasts who are Going To End Up Mega Traumatized. and i wanted to examine what their lives might be like after the events of the movie!! i can go more in depth if you want later, but that's the basic gist :)

fourthly, juno in herronimus!! and his mysterious habit of disappearing!! i don't really have a passage that exemplifies this, so i'll just tell you about him!! idk how much nat's told you about the story, but juno's whole deal is that he's unstuck in time! in the flashback, he disappears because he's tried to make a deal with the main antagonist and instead gets swallowed by it and transformed into a bird, and he remains in that form for about twenty or thirty years until someone breaks him free and he becomes a Teenager again. so he's got a lot of memory issues and tends to wander off and not quite be grounded all the time bc he's like. All Knocked Out Of Time. and i care him Very Deeply

fifth!! fifhtly!! i think there's one character in stopsign junction i haven't talked about yet, which is an as yet unnamed rapscallion who has a bit of An Agenda. they're not evil, per se? but they're very possessive and distrusting and kind of want theo for themself, and when he doesn't work with them when they want they get Real Weird about it. big goth androgyny vibes, but this character is also subject to change bc i'm not Super set on them

aaaaaand finally, spytown!! spytown is mostly a published series/au that i've been working on with my beloved spytuals (@/szollibisz, @/considerablecolors, @/owen-not-carvour, @/teethworm, etc.) that's a crossover of spies are forever with hadestown. i left off in the middle of a fic where curt!orpheus and owen!eurydice meet, and it so so gentle (music!! love!! domesticity!!) but i just lost steam on it? series is available to be read on my ao3 here

once again, thank you so so much for letting me gush about all these stories!! blorbos from my brain <3

[reel-fear]

Gotta say I can't stand people acting like Appledusk genuinely loved either of his mates. He didn't love Reedshine enough to be faithful, and he didn't love Mapleshade enough to not canonically stand her up for weeks, nor did he care about their kids enough not to actively (if indirectly) call them mistakes.

And no, apologists, MAPLESHADE was the side-chick. This stupid idea that Reedshine must've been the second mate because she was pregnant later is one of the stupidest things you could possibly say. Why are you implying you need to be pregnant and/or have kids to be fucking married??

And slightly off-topic, but "Mapleshade used her kits/Mapleshade babylocked Appledusk!" Is all around dumb.

THEY ARE FERAL. CATS. THEY DO NOT HAVE FUCKING BIRTH CONTROL. What do they WANT her to have done when she realised she was pregnant? Eat a deathberry?

And using the first "Appledusk is mine, these kits will make sure of that" line as "proof" is stupid too. Look at the actual context of the line in the book instead of watching one YouTube video.

Remember also: Appledusk has been standing her up on their nightly meetings for weeks to the point she had to tell him she's pregnant at a gathering. She did not just go to speak with him "because she thinks she's above the rules." Was she just meant to never tell her husband who she believes loves her she was pregnant?

Mapleshade sees from where she is hiding when Reedshine walks up to Appledusk and cuddles with him. She walked away and saw another woman move up to her husband (who she believes is monogamous and not a prick having an affair, Maple has no idea she is actively his side-chick) and flirt and snuggle him. She just told him she is pregnant, and this other woman is flirting with him. ANYONE would get momentarily jealous at that.

And even in some universe Mapleshade did genuinely think something was going on between the man she loves and Reedshine, IT TURNED OUT CORRECT. Appledusk IS having a fucking affair.

Obviously, it's not Reed's fault, it's entirely and 100% Appledusk's, but still.

And apologists need to stop using Maple thinking about Appledusk when the kits are born to back their "she used them to trap him" bullcrap. Is a new mother not allowed to think about her husband and wish the father of her children could meet them?

And bonus when they twist everything to say this but completely ignore Frecklewish and Oakstar literally stating that they want to raise the kids as weapons and nothing else.

YEA YEA... Like my biggest problem with the way ppl talk abt Mapleshade is all this shit being used as justification for why she deserves to have her life ruined and her babies die is HORRIFYING. Moth flight is shown to be incredibly easy to make jealous, Jayfeather and Lionblaze have blind faith in Starclan to tell them how to solve everything. ivypools motive for being in the df is kinda petty and she KILLS SOMEONE TWICE IN THERE. and Lionblaze only contunies to MURDER AND MURDER AND MURDER as the books go on. Hollyleaf murdered the person she saw as responsible for hurting her family only to take it back and hurt her family by unleashing the secret anyways.

Stop acting like Mapleshade deserved her tragedy at all. Compared to other warriors protagonists who also have blind faith in starclan make dumb and morally reprehensible choices she isnt any different than them. And on the babylock thing. it takes two to tango and if Appledusk didnt want kits or didnt want to stay with Mapleshade any more... Why did he "yknow" her??? Its entirely his own fault. She cant get an abortion or take a pill to not get pregnant unwanted pregnancies in warriors are so common they're becoming something the books themselves are addressing as wrong and bad. [this also works for the "she was seeing the guy who killed flowerpaw and freckles brother fucked up' excuse, I believe the time frame between that happening and maples kits being born was mentioned to be close enough that its likely Maple n Dusk had those kits BEFORE that incident. And like I said cat abortions dont exist so once again fuck Frecklewish fuck her grief she attacked and screamed at babies Im glad shes in hell <3]

When we start talking about mapleshade people suddenly switch to a mode where anything is okay unless Mapleshade did it and will do ANYTHING to twist the narrative to protect the horrible people around Mapleshade. Sure Mapleshade was dumb and naive and thats one of the biggest reasons her life falls apart. But making bad decisions and doing bad things shouldnt be punishable by kitten death in a world where Moth Flight or Clear Sky or Grey Wing get away free with the HORRIBLE actions they have taken. Bramblestar is stupid he takes actions only to boost his inflated ego and hurts his wife why did Starclan punish Maple for her wrong deeds but not him? She put blind faith in Starclan isnt an excuse BECAUSE BLIND FAITH IN STARCLAN IS BASICALLY REQUIRED IN WARRIORS!!! we only recently got arcs showing Starclan in a flawed light so no Mapleshade doesnt actually do a lot wrong by warriors standards people are just fucking dumb. Anyways if anyone reads this and feels the need to give me a nasty reply or get defensive bc Freckle, Apple, Oak and whatever the name of the riverclan leader was deserve to go to hell for their crimes. You better have passages from the book to back you up or I will eat you alive.

[shih-coulda-had-it]

71, afohiko?

holy fucking shit that is horny. are you the horny afo anon by any chance?

71. "I'm [going to] fuck you in front of the mirror, I want you to see how pretty you look when you're spreading your legs for me." | afohiko | wc: ~1.2k

a/n: definitely a canon divergence au. probably set in the first few years after Toshinori's gone to the U.S.? also! brief moment where AFO uses his Quirk w/o consent to glean some Stranger 101 info, and it feels invasive to Sorahiko's senses.

//

In Sorahiko’s defense, he doesn’t mean to distract All for One from watching the rise of All Might in that way. Honestly, Sorahiko shouldn’t even be on All for One’s radar. He doesn’t have an especially strong Quirk, and he is so firmly aligned with the users of One for All, it’s a miracle that he wasn’t assassinated after Shimura’s husband.

It’s a miracle that Sorahiko isn’t dead, even with All for One walking him through a mountain villa in Miyagi Prefecture. Their footsteps echo down empty hallways, the undecorated walls broken by shoji screens and large glass windows.

Sorahiko’s here to buy time. All for One caught him lingering at the Shimuras’ grave, caught him by the wrist in an unbreakable hold and tilted his head, red eyes boring into pale brown.

(“I don’t know you,” All for One says thoughtfully.

“That’s by design,” Sorahiko retorts, the reflexive urge to backtalk overpowering the instinct to play dumb.

“Oh?” A brief pause. Something cold yanks at Sorahiko’s balance, or maybe it’s more of a chill running through the soles of his feet and crawling up the connections to his lungs. He nearly doubles over with a wheeze, and All for One says, “A flight Quirk. Not terribly strong. It uses the air from your lungs, that’s no good… ah. Shimura’s friend.”

“Could we skip to my violent and brutal murder?”

“That would be a waste,” he muses. The cold and slimy sharp feeling disappears, leaving Sorahiko like some integral part of his body had just been clinically searched and discarded. He can’t stop the shudder as it wracks his frame.

“I’m not working for you, if that’s your next thought,” Sorahiko rasps.

“Would blackmail even work on you now?”

“You’d be hard-pressed to try.”

All for One laughs, quiet and eerily personable. It’s a far cry from that smug tone of voice used when he gloated over Nana’s last stand. Sorahiko can almost trick himself into thinking that this is some random stranger, especially as his next words are: “Let’s be civilized, then. Come with me, I’ll buy you a coffee…?”

He runs through several pseudonyms, discards them all for being flimsy, and hesitates.

“You can call me Shigaraki,” All for One invites. “A family name for a family name.”

Sorahiko swallows his trepidation. How truthful can All for One be? Isn’t his whole shtick ran on white lies and blatant manipulation? What connections does Toshinori have to Torino Sorahiko—oh, that’s right. None. Sorahiko had erased the school records (illegally) himself.

“It’s Torino, you bastard.”)

Sorahiko had been caught, and then he’d been courted for something far less serious than crime. Several sporadic coffee dates, and Shigaraki had been honest: he found Sorahiko a peculiar player in this long game, and an attractive one at that.

After Sorahiko processed the fact that he was being considered a potential conquest, he gave it some actual thought.

It’s just a fling. It’s a way to turn All for One’s eyes from the future to the past; Sorahiko represents a forgotten target that’s turned up too late for the culling, and his lack of ‘heroic’ action since Shimura’s sacrifice has piqued All for One’s interest.

“You did slip the mind, after that woman was gone,” All for One says, tugging Sorahiko into the bedroom. There’s a large king-size bed sitting in a bed frame that has slats in the headboard, and four bedposts. Opposite to it, resting against the wall adjacent to the door, is a gigantic mirror.

“Go back to that. It’s more in-character.”

Shigaraki ignores him. He’s studying Sorahiko with a gleam in his eyes. “At first, I thought she might have passed the Quirk to you. One for All users are sneaky and underhanded like that, always finding successors just before I can retrieve it. And it wouldn’t have been the first time a holder vanished from society.”

“But?”

“But,” he drags out, “the more we talked, Torino-kun, the more I realized. She didn’t choose you to hold One for All.”

His blood runs cold, but Shigaraki crowds into his space, hands rucking up Sorahiko’s shirt and pushing him back to the bed.

“She didn’t choose you at all,” says Shigaraki knowingly, and this, somehow, lets Sorahiko breathe again. Shigaraki isn’t omnipotent. He’s just grasping at straws, still trying to see how best to manipulate Sorahiko. (Not that Sorahiko has any kind of upper hand in this situation so long as Toshinori’s identity remains hanging in the balance, but—it’s nice to know that Shigaraki can miscalculate.)

“Her decisions were her own,” Sorahiko snaps, and he slips out of the shirt as Shigaraki starts unbuckling, unbelting, and divesting Sorahiko of his jeans and underwear. All these articles of clothing are flung off to the side.

Leaving Sorahiko lying naked on the bed, waiting.

Avarice lurks in the delighted twist of Shigaraki’s smile, and he says, “Are you in a rush, Torino-kun?”

“Why? You got plans to do anything but stand there?” His brashness is a front; as Shigaraki goes to his knees, Sorahiko pushes himself up halfway so he can see what the hell the villain is doing.

“I’m going to fuck you in front of the mirror,” purrs Shigaraki, and his hands go to Sorahiko’s thighs and urge them apart. The unbreakable hold flicks a switch somewhere in Sorahiko’s head, and he stares at his reflection: wild-eyed and flushed with arousal, naked longing clear in his face. “I want you to see how pretty you look when you’re spreading your legs for me.”

The moan that escapes his throat is guttural, and it breaks into a stutter as Shigaraki drags his mouth along Sorahiko’s cock. It’s wet, hot, messy—as that sinful mouth sinks down on the head, Sorahiko attempts to be selfish for once and thrust—

Shigaraki hums at the futile attempt to push against his unbreakable hold.

“Fuck,” says Sorahiko feelingly, and his fingers curl into the duvet. The teasing up and down motion, easing the slide every time— “Ah, ah, fuck, Shigaraki—!”

Time and time again, he catches a glimpse of himself in the stupid mirror. He’s getting closer to climax, and his legs keep jumping with all the aborted Jets because Sorahiko can’t remember how to fucking breathe. His hips jolt with every encouraging suck. Excess saliva leaves cooling trails down, down—

“Shigaraki!” yelps Sorahiko, as one hand leaves to busy itself smearing drool and precome past his tightened balls, brushing his perineum as it makes a path to his hole. And hey! It turns out that All for One only needed a single hand to hold Sorahiko down. “I—slow down—!”

Incredibly, Shigaraki obliges. He pulls off, tongue lapping at the underside of Sorahiko’s cock and playfully flicking the frenulum so there’s a thick, viscous, translucent white line connecting them still. Shigaraki lets it hang for a tantalizing second, then breaks it.

“Hghk—”

“You’re cute,” says Shigaraki, and uses his thumb to rub that line of saliva/precome against a still furled muscle. Sorahiko helplessly moves into the touch, legs trying to spread wider. A high-pitched keen escapes the stranglehold Sorahiko has on his vocal cords. “Look at yourself in the mirror, Torino-kun. All you need is a little push.”

He looks at the mirror again—wild-eyed, aroused, lips parted in shock and pleasure—and Sorahiko watches, feels, his face spasm around a choked moan as Shigaraki presses inexorably on, the first knuckle of his middle finger delving past any resistance—

Sorahiko comes crying Shigaraki’s name, body wrenching at the force of his first orgasm of the night.

[yiqiie]

wangxian fic rec list pt. 3

you can find pt. 1 here and pt. 2 here!

i think it’s about time for another update so here we are again! i have to keep reminding myself to update the notion page every time i bookmark something new so if anyone sees that the notion page is a little quiet for a few days just shoot me an ask and yell at me to update!

i have so many recommendations this time so long post ahead i am sorry! pls reblog if you can! tumblr is always iffy about links and tagging posts so this might not appear in the tags ;; 

notion summary page: here (i only put my favourites in this tumblr list, so if you would like even more recommendations, please read the notion summary for basically all of my bookmarks on ao3) 

something to make your heart ache 

in all my dreams i drown by @idrilka 

fluff, light angst, smut, post-cql 

trigger warning: mentions of some graphic nightmares 

will i ever stop recommending idrilka’s fics? no. this was so perfect bc while i love seeing domestic wangxian just being y’know domestic i love reading fics that examine the consequences being yllz has on wwx and the crucial journey to self-recovery it’s always so beautifully explored in each fic 

sweet chaos by @eachandeverydimension

fluff, light angst, cql au, multi-chapter

this was so PERFECT it takes a lot to get me hooked into a slow burn fic bc i’m usually so impatient so when i see anything more than 12 parts i’m already backing away slowly but this had me hooked so FAST and it’s just such a beautiful story of how two people fall in love and the attention to detail is just stunning i love it when people just get chinese heritage and tradition right 

the best of you by @fozmeadows

fluff, smut, light angst, modern au, multi-chapter

trigger warning:��only for some chapters so pls check the tags and the notes!

lwj looking after wwx is my kink okay and i just wanna wrap him up and give him a kiss in this fic bc he’s just :(((( the domestic wangxian popped OFF here and we are all not ready i just remember binging this fic so fast bc it reads so smoothly and the dialogue between lwj and jzx? fcking comedy gold 

花无百日红; the flower that withers by yiqie 

fluff, angst, post-cql

trigger warning: please check the tags! 

once again, is there any fic of yiqie’s that hasn’t made it onto my list? no. guys the description? the premise of this fic? everything about this fic is so beautiful and it’s just stunning execution this is a fic i come back to again and again so please read it, i don’t think any explanation will ever do it justice

build me no shrines by @wanlangji

fluff, angst, smut, post-cql, multi-chapter

the case fic to end all case fics GUYS THE DETAIL IN THIS i remember seeing it making its way around twitter and i saw case fic and immediately went :O and i read all of it in one sitting it’s SO good and wwx is just SO dumb but the wangxian pops off as usual and they kick ass while they’re at it 

and they have escaped the weight of darkness by cosmicmilktea

fluff, light angst, cql au 

an amnesia fic BUT NOT this fic is so beautiful and so heart-clenching i finished it so fast bc i literally could not stop the writing is just so captivating and it’s just such a soulful ending

spring days of my life by @besanii

angst

trigger warning: i read this and literally felt like i was having a heart attack bc it hurt me That Much

beth has done it again :))))) she has murdered my heart and now i’m just a lump on the floor; i needed SEVERAL days to recover from this i am not exaggerating i was literally sweating bc i felt my heart squeeze so painfully it’s literally just pure angst

something to soothe your heart 

where the chaos is by darkredloveknot

fluff, smut, post-cql 

guys GUYS domestic wangxian without the husband bit yet is just *squeal* this was the fic i forgot to bookmark and then i came across it again by chance and i was so RELIEVED i literally just remember this as ‘the fic where lwj carves wwx’s name into a bowl’ and it’s just so wholesome and cute and i love it 

our heart beats, intertwined by xuantime

fluff, light angst, modern au 

wangxian being doctors is a fic i will always stand by and get behind and this is just some pure married content i love them so much wwx is such a dumbass and we are all just like lwj, fondly looking on as he is a complete idiot but we love domestic wangxian in any form so we love this fic 

a little bit everyday by w_wxsparkles

fluff, smut, light angst, modern au 

lwj is so dumb and wwx is a mess we love them so much this was such a GOOD premise for a fic and now i can’t get the image of lwj wearing lip gloss out of my head but there’s just so much wangxian being wangxian here and lots of making out so YES it has mai’s stamp of approval 

as you like it by cosmicmilktea

fluff, post-cql 

DOMESTIC WANGXIAN let lwj be pampered agenda this was so cute and wwx just wants to love his husband thank you very much so we are all a captivated audience as domestic wangxian proves to be even MORE wangxian than usual 

puzzle pieces by @yuisakii

fluff, modern au 

guys yui is actually one of my favourite fic writers and this is PEAK yui content pls follow her on twt bc she makes the best twt fic threads but this is just such GOLD content bc wwx is trying so hard to be a slut and lwj is just *horny grip* 

new york, i love you by @yuisakii

fluff, modern au

the gossip girl au we never thought we needed but YUI STRIKES AGAIN Y’ALL this is perfect bite sized wangxian pining for each other to each other’s faces and we just love them so so much 

we sit in the sunset glow by moonsteps

fluff, light angst, rapunzel au

i have made a promise to read every single rapunzel au out there and this is the PINNACLE of rapunzel fics guys it’s so perfect i love it so much wwx is just so chaotic in his every rendition and i love him so much 

an invisible string by @wangxiians

fluff, modern au 

IS THERE ANYTHING TEDDII CANNOT DO? guys the description?? wangxian finding each other in every single lifetime no matter what? fck the feels popped off with this one the writing is EXQUISITE 

something to make you laugh 

a lot’s gonna change by etymologyplayground

fluff, modern au 

i LOVE this fic bc wen qing and lwj being best friends is literally the best concept i love seeing wwx flirt and be a mess in lwj’s presence and this is all of that beautiful stuff all wrapped in and sprinkled with some mutual pining (for like 5 minutes then they make out) 

save a sword, ride a socialist by @fozmeadows​ 

fluff, smut, modern au, multi-chapter

LWJ IS SUCH A BITCH IN THIS AND I AM HERE FOR IT guys i love the fics with a stoic lwj bc yes canon continuity but pls modern lwj is 100% a bitch, esp if jzx is friend so this is just so good and every thing i never thought i needed in a fic 

bodega love by @nothing-but-colour 

fluff, modern au, multi-chapter

SOME WHOLESOME GROUP TEXT SHENANIGANS guys if you don’t read any other fic pls read this one it’s just so cute and so good and wangxian going on their first date and respectively FREAKING OUT about it is just so good 

[syn0vial]

important question number 3 what do you have on boba and sintas vel 👀 - lekkui

i have... some things! honestly, i wish sintas’s portrayal had been a little more solid in the EU. it varied wildly between writers and in certain comics, she had little more characterization than “beautiful, tough bounty hunter chick.” i hope if they revisit her in new canon, they give her a more nuanced, more consistent depiction. also i’ll be ignoring said comics for the purposes of this post bc it’s my blog and i’m too sleepy for salt right now

but yes, onto the bullet points!

for those unaware, sintas vel was a female kiffar bounty hunter who boba tried to start a new life with when they were teenagers. they both got out of the bounty hunting game and settled down on concord dawn, where they got married and had a daughter, ailyn. boba was 16 and sintas was 18 at the time.

one of the things i find most interesting about the two of them, especially when they were teenagers: ailyn was consistently the more logical and level-headed of the two of them, while boba was always more emotional and impulsive. tragically, it’s this impulsivity that leads boba to fuck up so badly and, ironically, to transform into the emotionally detached asshole we know later on.

but yeah, this dichotomy is seen pretty early on in a flashback-by-proxy, in which we learn that the whole romantic run-away-together-and-get-married-and-start-a-new-life-somewhere-far-away plan? 100% BOBA’S IDEA. 

in particular, we get the briefest snippet of an exchange where boba is trying his hardest to convince sintas that this would be a good idea. and, no exaggeration, it goes like:

sintas: “i mean, it’s kind of very obvious that you don’t know what you’re doing--” boba: “THINGS I KNOW: YOU’RE GOOD AT SHOOTING THINGS. YOU’RE PRETTY??? I TRUST YOU A LOT. see this is a good idea :)”

TEENAGE BOBA FETT: PURE OF HEART, DUMB OF ASS

anyway, boba fett and noted-morosexual sintas vel make their way to concord dawn. here’s some things we know about their relationship before everything went to shit:

nicknames! they referred to each other with the first syllable of each others’ names: bo and sin. very cute :)

they got married using a traditional mandalorian wedding vow. neither of them had any idea what the mando’a meant, bless their hearts.

as a marriage token, boba gave sintas a small red heart-of-fire gemstone tied on a simple leather cord. it was the best he could afford which, at the time, wasn’t much. however, it had significance to sintas as a kiffar; kiffars are near-humans whose members possess an unusually high occurrence rate of telemetry, or the ability to read memories from objects. heart-of-fire gemstones were said to be among the best for storing such memories.

SHIPPY FIC WRITERS TAKE NOTE. three words to describe boba in a committed relationship: PROTECTIVE. AS. HELL. absolutely unwilling to tolerate so much as a dirty look towards sintas. maybe even a little paranoid. kind of understandable given how much grief he’d already endured in his short life.

it didn’t save them

ok, fair warning, here’s the point where shit gets traumatic, so if you want to know nothing but the relatively happy stuff, STOP READING HERE. also, CWs for manipulation, sexual assault, murder, and imprisonment, bc nobody in this canon is allowed to be happy :(

last chance to turn back!

ok. onto the traumatic shit.

so! boba and sintas are doing fine. operation stop-being-teenaged-bounty-hunters-and-try-to-pass-for-normal is going pretty well! not only do they have their own functional little family unit, but boba has a job as a journeyman protector. basically think of them as like. mando frontier lawmen. and on top of that, boba has been taken under the wing of his superior officer and son of a local magistrate, lenovar. 

we don’t know much about lenovar (like, is that his first or his last name, for example...) but we know that boba and sintas trusted him and that boba in particular looked up to him as both a friend and mentor. 

however, lenovar was not what he seemed. once he had the young couple’s trust, he managed to get sintas alone and raped her.

in the aftermath, sintas performed some brutally pragmatic mental calculus: lenovar was a high-ranking journeyman protector and son of a magistrate. she and boba were two struggling teenagers with a baby, escaping checkered pasts. retaliating against lenovar would likely destroy them. which meant not only that she couldn’t retaliate against lenovar; she had to make sure boba wouldn’t, either.

so. how do you keep your extremely protective, impulsive former-bounty-hunter husband from flying off the handle and murdering your rapist?

you don’t tell him about it. you don’t tell anyone about it :(

argh just reading this i’m feeling salty that we get so little of sintas’s perspective on any of this. it’s all just “how did this make boba feel? how did it affect boba’s life?” and it’s like GOOD GOD. this woman is now maybe 20 years old, making the absolutely-gutting decision to keep her sexual assault a secret from her closest friend bc it’s the only way to protect her and him and their daughter from being steamrolled by the system. and like, nobody thought to expand on that? 

nope, we just get a comic where she’s needlessly sexualized and drawn to look young enough to be boba’s daughter despite the fact that she’s older than him and ugh

OKAY. enough salt. moving on.

sintas’s plan works for all of a year, at which point boba somehow finds out the truth. and everything goes straight to hell.

boba, finding out that sintas kept her sexual assault by lenovar a secret for a whole year (and remember, boba was probably continuing to work under and look up to lenovar during this time), is utterly furious. of course, he wants nothing more than to murder the shit out of lenovar and is only further enraged when sintas tries to logically talk him out of it. in his anger, he proceeds to verbally torch ALL the bridges in their relationship, at one point even cruelly questioning if ailyn is even his daughter. he then storms off and makes good on his threats to kill lenovar

in the aftermath, boba was branded not just a murderer, but the murderer of his superior officer—an even more serious crime. yet, despite repeated interrogations, he refused to say why he had done it, fearing that doing so would drag sintas down with him. he only insisted that he felt no remorse for killing lenovar and that lenovar deserved to die.

in the end, his efforts didn’t save sintas—the courts seized all of what meager assets they had, leaving them all penniless. boba was then exiled from concord dawn and wouldn’t see his wife and daughter again for fifty years.

after everything that happened, boba was a changed person. it’s as if that spark of optimism and dare-i-say goodness that had survived his father’s death was snuffed out, leaving only a cynical, angry shell, laser-focused on violence because it was the one part of his father’s legacy he hadn’t yet failed.

sintas and ailyn, meanwhile, struggled to pull themselves out of poverty, with sintas reluctantly returning to bounty hunting to support them. ailyn never forgave her father for abandoning them, which led to its own equally-disastrous tragedy some decades down the line.

moral of the story is to listen to your wife and don’t make her sexual assault all about your stupid need for revenge. like, i get that the rapist needs to die but maybe like... work with your wife and make it look like an accident? don’t be an impulsive fucking inconsiderate idiot? maybe realize that your wife probably just endured the most hellish year of her life to protect YOUR dumb ass?

honestly, as frustrating as teenage!boba is, you can’t even be that angry at him bc like... he and sintas were both victims reacting imperfectly to absolutely shit circumstances. lenovar is the real villain here.

never going to be over how tragic it is that these two kids tried so fucking hard to derail their villainous origin stories, only to be forced onto even more brutal tracks bc the one adult they should’ve been able to trust in their situation ended up being a predator :(

[writing-of-a-british-bitch]

Blame Me - Chapter 5

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Specified gender: Female

Word Count: 12K

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x reader,

TW: Canon typical violence, canon divergence, gore, murder, mention of past child death, mention of major character death (OC), Daryl and Aaron bonding time, Daryl and y/n bonding time, major character death

Genre: Horror ig?

Series: Blame Me

Requests: CLOSED

Masterlist

A/N: Okay, this is probably my least favourite chapter, but I can’t wait to write the next chapters. Chapter 6 and 7 are gonna be painful y’all so good luck. Enjoy!

<i>Daryl was quiet, Beth noticed. He was always quiet, but not like this. He hadn't been like this since after he'd lost his girl. Not that anyone knew that except for his asshole older brother. Beth was worried, about everyone, but right now, she was worried for Daryl most of all. Any time he <b>did</b> open his mouth, something sarcastic, cold or cynical came out. It wasn't like him. Maybe in the early days, but definitely not now. He couldn't stop thinking about everyone they'd lost. Not just at the prison, everyone they'd lost along the way. Even who he'd lost before. He didn't have much to lose before, but the people he had, were everything. She was everything. But she was gone. Probably dead. He was just holding out hope on another pipe dream. But even despite that, he couldn't bring himself to remove his ring. The cool metal almost burnt his skin whenever he thought about her, or anyone else he'd lost. Like a reminder of his failure. Since the prison had fallen, every day with Beth felt like a blur.

He shouldn't dwell on it, he knew that, but he couldn't help but wonder how many people died. How many people got out. If anyone other than him and Beth did. Part of him thought that it didn't matter.  Hershel was dead because he didn't kill the Governor when he had the chance. He owed it to the vet to protect his daughter. And somehow, that had ended up with them in some old shed, something similar to what he and Merle would have lived in once upon a time, in the middle of the woods. Somehow, he'd ended up playing a dumb game, like some damn teenagers. At least Beth wasn't too far off. He took a sip of the moonshine as she started explaining, clearly slightly tipsy from her first-ever drink.

"So first, I say something I've never done and if you have done it, you drink, and if you haven't, I drink. Then we switch. You really don't know this game?" Beth raised her eyebrows in surprise, not deterred by his so-called "intimidating" stare. Daryl moved the hand that was in front of his face, shifting his position slightly.

"I never needed a game to get lit before."

"Wait, are we startin'?" She asked, and while her face stayed the same, Daryl picked up on the teasing lilt in her voice, eyes shining slightly.

"How do you know this game?" He questioned, using his pinky to point at her

"My friends played. I watched," She shifted slightly before lightly shaking her head "Okay, I'll start. I've never shot a crossbow. So now you drink."

Daryl reached forward to the glass of water and lifted it to his mouth, looking just as unamused as before "Ain't much of a game."

"That was a warm-up. Now you go," Beth insisted but Daryl just stared back at her for a second, shrugging.

"I don't know."

"Just say the first thing that pops into your head," She shot back with a small smile. Plenty of things popped into his head, but they were too personal to share with Beth. Too much about his girl. He didn't know if he was ready to tell her yet. Daryl knew Beth wouldn't care, not really, but just thinking about her made his brain and chest hurt. An aching he couldn't get rid of.

"I've never been out of Georgia," Was the answer he settled on. He was gonna leave Georgia, right after his hunting trip. Leave early, fly to South Carolina and surprise (Y/N) and her ma. But it never happened. Dead made sure of that. Beth's eyebrows rose slightly. He was an outdoorsy guy, a hunter. She thought he'd have been all over.

"Really? Okay, good one. I've never... been drunk and did somethin' I regretted," She stated after taking a sip of her drink. Beth knew she was starting to push the line slightly. Knew his fuse was slightly shorter after the prison. But he didn't bat an eye, just reached forward and had a drink.

"I've done a lot of things," He replied, keeping his gaze on the table. Yeah, like leave his girl behind. Didn't even go looking. What kind of husband didn't even try to find his wife when the world ended? "I never been on vacation."

"What about campin'?" Beth questioned but Daryl shook his head immediately.

"No, that was just something I had to learn to hunt," Because, his family were shitty people, and didn't even think to go looking when he went missing as a kid. Not that he added that.

"Your dad teach you?" She asked, and she knew that the line was getting toed here. She'd never asked about his dad, but from interactions she'd overheard with Daryl and Rick, sometimes Carol or even Carl, their relationship hadn't been pretty. Daryl released a hum of agreement.

"Alright... never have I ever been in love," Beth said, and she saw Daryl's eyes flicker down to the ring she still wore from when she was still with Jimmy. She didn't really expect much, but it was the only thing that came to mind.  His eyebrows furrowed slightly, bristling at the implication behind her words, and he found himself spinning his own ring with his thumb, absentmindedly.

"The hell ya implyin'" He snapped, eyes narrowing slightly, and Beth looked slightly alarmed by how defensive he got and how quickly. She'd seen his explosive temper before but she'd never been at the brunt of it. But Daryl didn't back down, even as she showed him her scared eyes. The damn girl had no right prying. He'd played her stupid ass game, given her some stupid ass answers. But then, he swore he saw (Y/N) in the corner, giving him that disapproving look that made him swallow any anger he'd had right up, and he looked to the floor, taking a second to breathe.

"Ya ain't ever been in love?" It was clear Daryl was asking about Jimmy and Zach. His brain wandered to Zach, asking him every day without fail about what he did before the apocalypse; getting bitten on the way out of that store; getting crushed by the helicopter. Having to deliver the news to beth, who didn't even react.

"I loved Jimmy sure, but I wasn't in love with him. Zach neither. Meant a lot to me, both of 'em but, never loved 'em like that. I only married Jimmy because I thought we were the last ones left," Beth explained, and to anyone else, it would have sounded cold. But Daryl understood. This world did weird shit to your brain, and it didn't surprise him that she'd latched to Zach and Jimmy. While he was thinking, Beth watched his expression. She noticed the look of despair that crossed his face quickly, and how it hardened a second after. And finally, after over a year of them being in the group together, she saw his ring, as he brought his arm to rest on his knee so his other hand could twirl it. He hadn't even noticed he'd done it. He bit his lip, deep in thought, before he looked up and saw Beth's expectant eyes.

"Did you have to kill her?" If that didn't get under his skin he didn't know what would. No disapproving look from his not-there wife could stop the rage bubbling in his chest. It boiled up his neck, to his face and he just knew he'd gone slightly red. Almost immediately, he saw regret on Beth's as he stood up.

"I'm going to take a piss," Daryl snarled, picking up one of the empty jars on the table and smashing it as he made his way over to the corner of the room. He heard Beth's breath hitch in a suppressed gasp of surprise.

"You have to be quiet!" Beth hissed, and that only pissed him off more. He knew there were walkers outside, knew he was being stupid, but she'd started prying. Drunk or not, she'd gone too far and he'd had enough.

"Can't hear ya! 'M taking a piss!" He yelled back, to which Beth shot back some response about being quiet, as he unzipped and started doing his business "What, are ya ma chaperone now?"

Daryl zipped himself back up but didn't bother to do his belt up, and it clanked against his button. He knew this would be a good place to drop it since she had gone silent, but she'd taken a dig at him. One way too personal. One that involved <b>his</b> family. One she had no business in. So he whirled around, voice much louder than it should have been.

"Oh, wait. It's my turn, right? I've never-never eaten frozen yoghurt. Never had a pet pony. Never got nothin' from Santa Claus," He slammed his hand against the cluttered table he stood next to, as the emotions that had built up over the past few days finally poured out. Beth looked scared, but there was anger dwelling behind her eyes too "Never relied on anyone for protection before. Hell, I don't think I've ever relied on anyone for anything."

Daryl had started pacing, and he narrowed in on the blonde, tone sharp and cold. He knew he was lying at that point. True, he'd never relied on anyone for protection. But he'd relied on his girl for so much that he didn't even know where that list started or ended. She just swam in his head, and she could see those disapproving eyes again. Normally they were directed at Merle, but now they were directed to him, real or not, it stung being at the end of her contempt. And that only pushed him over the edge. Beth tried to stop him with a call of his name, but now he'd begun there was little that would stop him.  

"Never sung out in front of a big group out in public like everythin' was fun. Like everything was a big game. Never got to say goodbye to ma wife. Never got to know if she was alive, dead, turned, murdered. I sure as hell never cut my wrists looking for attention," Beth didn't flinch when he brought up her failed suicide attempt. But when he mentioned (Y/N), that sad look was there again, and the anger in her eyes faded.

Daryl hadn't meant to say it, but he was so furious, so sad, so frustrated, so mad at the world, that it had slipped out, in a rare moment of vulnerability. He sprung the walls back up as soon as he'd let them down.

A crashing at the door and the growling of walkers made his head snap to the door, so fast he swore it should have snapped. And he couldn't stop. The seething, burning feeling was eating him up.

"Oh, sounds like our friend out there is trying to call his buddies," He tripped over the pans and pots and various other shit on the floor, making way too much noise. If he wasn't so angry, he would be cursing himself out now. He was sure he'd do that later.

"Daryl, just shut up," Beth begged through gritted teeth, but Daryl just turned around and pointing, a sharp smile playing on his lips. If Merle were here, he'd tell him he looked just like their Daddy. And he did, as much as he hated it. If his girl were here, she would be screaming at him. by now. She would have stopped him by now. But they were both gone. Just like everyone else.

"Hey, you never shot a crossbow before? I'm gonna teach you right now. Come on," Before he'd fully processed what he was doing, Daryl had grabbed Beth's arm, dragging her to the door and kicking it open. "It's gonna be fun."

"We should stay inside! Daryl, cut it out! Daryl!" She protested, screaming out as she tried to fight out of her grip but he wouldn't let her go.

"Dumbass. Come here, dumbass," Daryl whistled and the walker stumbled over, before he put a bolt in its shoulder, pinning it to the tree behind it. "You wanna shoot?"

"Daryl, I don't know how!" She exclaimed, fighting as Daryl pulled her in front of him, holding her in place with one hand as he got ready to shoot with the other.

"Oh, it's easier. Right corner," A bolt landed in the walker's leg and Beth finally broke free, turning around to face the redneck as he stepped away slightly, so he could pull the string back into place.

"C'mon it's fun," He was being fueled by unbridled rage and adrenaline now. A tiny voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like Rick told him he'd regret this later but he pushed it away. Instead, he pulled Beth back into the previous position and shot the walker right where it's dead, rotting heart was.

"Kill it!"  Daryl let go again as he stormed ahead to the walker.

"Come here, Greene. Let's pull these out. Get a little more target practice," Beth had decided that was enough, and with an annoyed huff, she sped ahead of Daryl to plant her knife into the walker's forehead "What the hell you do that for? We was having fun."

"No! You were being a jackass! If someone found your wife-" She growled back, and Daryl's glare burned into her but it didn't deter her, even as he got right into her face.

"Don't. That ain't remotely the same," Daryl shot back, rage burning through every vein, every organ, every muscle. But Beth knew she'd gotten to him, even if it was just a little bit.

"Killin' them ain't supposed to be fun!" She said, her own eyebrows coming into a glare and Daryl stepped even closer.

"What do ya want from me, girl?"

"I want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anythin'! Like nothin', we went through matters. Like none of the people we lost meant anythin' to you. It's bullshit!" Beth finally yelled back, frustration making tears build behind her eyes but that only seemed to rile Daryl up more, even if it had been toned down. Didn't give a shit? She really thought he didn't care? He'd damn near died for his people. He'd killed for his people and she thought he didn't give a shit?

"Is that what you think? Huh?" The only thing he could think as he heard himself were the words he'd said to his brother years ago, that was coming back to bite him in the ass. You really are our Daddy's son.

"That's what I know," Her words were instant, and Daryl could tell from her tone that they'd been building up for a while. But his mouth moved before his brain could fully process the thought.

"You don't know nothin'," He hissed, looking away for a second, as his voice wavered slightly.

"I know you look at me and you just see another dead girl. I'm not Michonne. I'm not Carol. I'm not Maggie. I've survived and you don't get it 'cause I'm not like you or them. But I made it and you don't get to treat me like crap just because you're afraid," Hell, if that didn't make him stop. His chest heaved as she spoke, his body taking a moment to recover from the anger that had made him shake. Been a while since he'd been that pissed off. But those final words, made his eyes narrow again, just as they'd softened.

"I ain't afraid of nothin'," Daryl stated, leaning in again. Beth had a look in her eye, telling him she didn't believe him. And she was right. He was scared every damn day. Every single damn time he thinks he's the most scared he'll ever be, some new herd, some new asshole, some new loss takes its place.

"I remember. When that little girl came out of the barn after my mom. You were like me," Daryl couldn't meet her eyes. He had been like her once. When he left for a hunting trip he never came back from. Then, he got stuck with his piece of shit older brother and became that asshole again. Then his brother was gone, and he had a new family. He wasn't who he had been with (Y/N), didn't know if he ever would be like that again, but it had been a start. Until the governor took that from him too "And now God forbid you ever let anybody get too close."

Every time someone got close, they died. Or put at great risk, or went missing, or got bit.

"Too close, huh? Ya know all about that. Ya lost two boyfriends, ya can't even shed a tear. Yer whole family's gone, all ya can do is just go out lookin' for hooch like some dumb college bitch," It was a low blow, but he was so drunk, so angry, he was struggling to get his words out like they were getting stuck in his throat.

"And your wife is gone and you don't say shit! Your brother died and you closed off! At least I talk about the ones I've lost instead of pretendin' like nothin' happened or like they didn't exist!" She snapped back, and the second the words left her mouth, she looked like she wanted to take them right back. Daryl stopped right there, frozen like a deer in headlights before turning around. Beth tried to reach for him but he shrugged out of her touch.

"Y'ain't got the right," He huffed out, the last of his anger dissipating, and he felt that void opening up again. The one that haunted him anytime he thought about his wife for too long. His shoulders deflated, and his gaze fixed on the back of the shed they'd found. Beth was hovering behind him, he could feel it. "The Governor rolled right up to our gates. Maybe if I wouldn't have stopped looking. Maybe 'cause I gave up. That's on me."

"Daryl-" Beth tried again, sympathy lacing her voice but he just shook her off once more. She watched as his shoulders tensed, and she prepared for him to rip into her again but instead, they started shaking lightly. Everything was crashing down on him all at once and he couldn't shake the thought of his girl alone, trying to survive on her own. Or his girl, eyes milky white and lifeless, feet dragging and body acting like dead weight as her pale, rotting skin peeled off.

"And ma girl? Maybe I could've done somethin'. Maybe I could've helped her," His voice cracked, the emotions finally crashing over him in a wave, and this time he didn't stop Beth as she wrapped her arms around his middle, head pressed against his back. He didn't stop the tears or the sobs that escaped him.

"I get why my dad stopped drinking," Beth's voice broke the peaceful silence that had fallen between them. Crickets and the wind brustling the trees were the only sounds as Daryl looked over to her, sat on the porch in the pale moonlight.

"Ya feel sick?" He asked, twirling his knife on the wooden panels beside him, glancing over dark eyelashes.

"Nope. I wish I could feel like this all the time. That's bad," She responded. Her hands were playing with the loose threads on her jeans, and she had this happy look in her eye. Too happy, but he didn't say anything. Not this time.

"Yer lucky yer a happy drunk," Daryl felt that stab of guilt again, as he thought back to the argument earlier. The one he could've dropped, but instead he blew it out of proportion and turned into Merle. Into his daddy.

"Yeah, I'm lucky. Some people can be real jerks when they drink," Beth gave him a pointed look, eyebrows raised slightly, but there was a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, 'm a dick when 'm drunk," He stabbed his knife into the wood and he let out a small huff before reluctantly opening his mouth again "Merle had these biker friends. Real buff, stern assholes. Didn't give a shit 'bout nobody but themselves. One day, he dragged me along with 'em to this back alley bar. Real dodgy place. Was barely 10 and we were all wasted. Merle was high. There was this girl with her friend and the guys wouldn't stop runnin' their mouths. Especially Merle. Never knew when to quit. Turns out, girl had heard everythin' they'd been sayin' 'bout her and her friend. She comes stormin' over, face red, lookin' pissed as all hell and starts gettin' in this guys face. Merle decides it's a good idea to grab her ass, and she goes for him, punches him right in the eye. Gave him one hell of a shiner."

Beth let out a small giggle as she took a sip of her moonshine and Daryl's lips quirked up slightly. His fingers worked to spin his ring around again and again and she watched it with a glimmer of shock that still hadn't faded away.

"I tried gettin' between and she shoved me away. But one of Merle's buddies, he don't like that. So, he pulls out his gun and raises it over ma shoulder to her face, right here," He points to the gap between his eyebrows, watching as Beth's own eyebrows rose "And this bar goes dead silent. C'aint hear a damn thang, but she just glares back. His buddy starts threatenin' her, sayin' how he's gonna do all these things to her and she don't say anythin'. Just looks back at him. All that because she stood up for herself," Daryl couldn't help but smile at the memory, despite how much it had freaked him out at the time. Only time he didn't get pissed at someone for hitting his brother. Fool deserve it.

"How'd she get out?" Beth asked, leaning forward slightly like she was on the edge of her seat.

"Managed to get between 'em. Guy punched me in the gut. I puked. They all started laughin' and started patting her on the back. 'Balls of steel', Merle said to her. She thanked me for gettin' between them and asked how I was. Walked her and her friend back to her car. And I don't know if she was tipsy or what, but she asked ma name. Asked if we could have a new introduction 'nother day or somethin. You want to know what I was before all this? I was just drifting around with Merle... doing whatever he said we were gonna be doin' that day. I was nobody. Nothin'. Some redneck asshole and an even bigger asshole for a brother. Got better when I met her. (Y/N) made us better," Daryl's eyes flittered down to his ring this time, looking at the grime and dirt that accumulated and pulled it off to wipe it on his shirt.

"You miss him, don't you? I miss Maggie. I miss her bossing me around. I miss my big brother Shawn. He was so annoyin' and overprotective. And my dad. I thought- I hoped he'd just live the rest of his life in peace, you know? I thought Maggie and Glenn would have a baby. And he'd get to be a grandpa. And we'd have birthdays and holidays and summer picnics. And he'd get really old. And it'd happen, but it'd be quiet. It'd be okay. He'd be surrounded by people he loved. That's how unbelievably stupid I am," Tears had formed in Beth's eyes, but she laughed through them. But she couldn't shake that image of her Dad, the governor stood behind him.

"That's how it was supposed to be," He grumbled. Beth was naive, but she wasn't blind. She could tell he wasn't talking just about her dad. He was talking about the life he had with his wife, a life he could have had. The life he deserved to have. Subconsciously, she couldn't help but be slightly jealous that she never had something like that.

"I wish I could just... change," Beth responded after a pause, and Daryl's eyebrow raised, slightly confused.

"Ya did."

"Not enough. Not like you. It's like you were made for how things are now. Sounds like ya girl was too."

He didn't say anything, biting his cheek lightly as he slid his ring back on. It was his comfort, she was his comfort. Maybe she was still out there. Maybe.

Maybe she was dead in a ditch. </i>

It still felt like a dream. He was still sure that if he gave himself a hard pinch she'd disappear right from his grasp. Everyone had dispersed thanks to Aaron and Carol's shepherding, but Daryl didn't miss the way (Y/N) watched after Carl and Judith, like she was scared something would happen. She didn't let go of him, not for another few minutes, that felt like seconds to him, and he would never complain. It didn't feel real.

There would be questions later, enough to bombard them back into hiding. He didn't care. Nothing mattered. She was here.

Eventually, Daryl managed to clear his head enough to pull her into the house his family had now evacuated out of. It felt alien, holding her again. Seeing her. Actually seeing her, not imagining her in some drunk or fear-induced frenzy. They were huddled together, in the corner Daryl had taken the night before. He couldn't let go, not now. There was something different about her. She'd changed. The apocalypse did that to you, he supposed but, this was different. There was guilt like she was hiding something from him. She'd done something, and he wanted to find out what it was.

"How the hell'd ya get here?" He asked, voice low and a grin rose on her face, which made his eyebrows furrow in confusion "What?"

"Ain't nothing. Just didn't think I'd hear your voice again," (Y/N) responded, her grin widening when he took her hand and started playing with her ring. "I was with mom when it started. Started travelling down to Georgia to find you and Merle. Met some people along the way."

She suddenly went quiet, her smile falling, and Daryl knew that look. Seen it on everyone's faces after camp; saw it on Carol, Beth, Maggie and Hershel's faces after the barn, Glenn and Maggie after the governor, Beth's after the prison; Rick, Carl and Michonne's the night with the claimers; everyone's after Terminus; Sasha and Gabriel after Bob and Tyreese. His, Maggie's and Glenn's after Beth.

"What happened?" If anyone else had walked in, they'd probably have never believed it was his voice. He didn't believe it. Merle would be giving him hell for it. Her eyes darted to his, and her grip on his hand tightened.

"There were this married couple, Andrew and Oliver, and their kid, Anna. Real sweet, curious. Never wanted to leave me and the other leader Kai alone. Some twins, Danica and Ben. Danica and Andrew were hotheads, reminded me of Merle, just less bigotted," They shared a chuckle at that. Daryl didn't need to say anything to her for her to know her brother-in-law was gone. She'd seen it on his face when she mentioned him earlier. After all this time, she could still read him like a book. "Kai was my best friend. Felt like a sibling. They were military, stopped me and mom from going into the city. We were gonna keep looking for you but Anna got sick. Really sick. For three weeks, we went out looking for medicine and she'd go through it in days."

Hell, he'd almost forgot about the disease that spread through the prison. Nearly killed Glenn. Awful as it seemed, it didn't that important anymore. Pretty much everyone that was sick died to the governor anyway. Didn't matter. Not really

"When she didn't get better, her dad's asked me to put her down. I was going to do it in the evening, in case she passed, but I decided to wait until morning. Died in her sleep. Turned quickly. We lost Andrew and Danica," Daryl squeezed her hand but she didn't respond. Her eyes were unfocused, but he saw the sadness flickering in them. The shame and guilt. That's why she was watching Carl and Judith earlier. "We were in the woods for a while. Me, mom, Andrew, Kai and Ben, lived that old Dixon lifestyle," She teased, in a poor attempt to lighten the mood. But he saw past it. She was holding something back to stop him from worrying.

"Then what?" She just shook her head, and Daryl pulled her in, tucking her head under his chin again. Not yet. He'd wait as long as she needed. They didn't need words for him to understand. (Y/N) let out a small sigh of contentment and Daryl resisted a smile. He'd lost hope in finding her. Thought he'd never get to hold her like this again. And before he knew it, he was telling her everything. But when he got to Terminus, she froze and pulled back.

"You were at Terminus?" (Y/N)'s voice was laced with concern and confusion, and it took Daryl half a second to connect the dots. His eyebrows rose into his hairline, which made (Y/N) laugh slightly."I was there for three days. Fuckers tried to kill me but I put up a fight. That freak Gareth locked me in a room so I didn't 'scare the newcomers'. An explosion and some walker's guts got me out."

"Ya gotta be shittin' me, right?" Daryl laughed, genuinely laughed, and he swore he'd never seen so much elation on his girl's face. "Carol set off that explosion, got us out."

(Y/N) leant her forehead on his shoulder, smiling at the ridiculousness of the situation. The whole time, he thought she was so far away, or that she was gone, or dead, or bitten but she was right fucking there at Terminus. If he'd paid more attention, maybe he could've found her. Fucking idiot.  

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Daryl asked, catching (Y/N)'s arm as she started to climb out of the sleeping bag they'd been sharing. It'd taken a while for Daryl to convince the group to let her stay with them. They didn't trust her, and he couldn't blame them, but he wasn't going to be separated from <i>any</i> of his family. Neither her nor them. Eventually, Rick had nodded, despite Sasha and Abraham (mostly - Rosita and Carl hadn't exactly been happy about it either).

"Aiden and Nicholas want to take Glenn, Tara and Noah on a dry run, I gotta go with them to make sure they don't do something dumb," (Y/N) replied, pulling on her jumper but Daryl narrowed his eyes slightly.

"Careful, (L/N), that's ma family yer talkin' 'bout," He shot back, sharper than he wanted. However, she was taking a dig at his family when she barely knew shit about them. She just chuckled and rolled her eyes, coming closer to press a kiss on his forehead.

"Not your family, dummy. Nicolas and Aiden. They both hate me because I called them careless. Among other things. And they are. They don't know anything about life out there. If these walls hadn't come up when they had, those boys would have died long ago. Almost everyone here would have," She replied. He watched her carefully, giving her a look that she couldn't recognise. He was still getting used to this new version of her. Trying to get to know her again.  She wasn't that different, not really, but she was slightly colder towards others and seemed to have a shorter fuse where unbreakable patience used to be. Well, unbreakable unless you were Merle. Some undying rage never left her eyes.  She was still her old self, but she'd changed. It made him wonder what she'd been through. What she wouldn't tell him the day before.

"Why'd ya stay if this place ain't secure?" Daryl asked, pulling her slightly closer. Then he saw it. That look flashed across her face. It was gone almost as soon as it came, but he'd caught it. Guilt was ripping through her, despite how much she hid it. Why was she guilty? What was she hiding?

"Why'd you?" (Y/N) responded quickly, and even with this new version of her, he still knew her well enough to know she was changing the topic. And she did too, as evident from her heavy sigh. "I had a promise to keep."

There was more to it than that, Daryl could see it so clearly it was practically slapping him in the face. But he knew pushing wouldn't get them anywhere.

"People here are weak. Carol and the kid think it too. Hell, I do.  Glad yer goin' with 'em," He gave her a quick kiss, running his thumb over her ring. "Keep an eye on 'em for me."

"Of course," (Y/N) smiled back, and from the surprise on Deanna's face when she walked in to check on them, not that he'd cared enough to notice at first, it wasn't something that had happened often while she was here.

"And you keep yourself safe, ya hear?" Daryl demanded, and while it was firm, (Y/N) saw the glimmer of fear in his eye. Can't lose her again. The words went unspoken but she heard them. A hard squeeze of his hand and a kiss on the cheek, and she'd wandered out the door, Glenn, Tara and Noah trailing close behind.

Time seemed to drag out while they were gone. It'd been around an hour, and he knew it shouldn't be too much longer before they returned. It was only a dry run. He'd finally showered, if only for his girl's sake than anyone else's, and he couldn't stop pacing. Carol had tried to employ his help, but he shut her down. With no news on a job from Deanna, Daryl couldn't stop himself from getting lost in his thoughts and drowning in his worries. His girl had said that the boys were careless. What if that cost her? What if him asking her to protect his friend meant she did something stupid? What if she didn't come back? What if he lost her again? For good, this time?

His worries were cut in half when the creaking and scratching of the gate broke through the air and he immediately jogged from his place on the porch to the gates, seeing the group come back in. They all looked pissed, and none of them more than (Y/N). She was walking in front of Glenn almost protectively, and he just knew something had gone wrong.

"You three need new gigs, you're not ready for runs yet," Aiden snapped from behind, making the four turn on their heels. Daryl felt himself moving forward when Aiden got close to (Y/N) and started pointing "And I'm gonna talk to my mom about getting you a new job."

"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards," Glenn shot back and (Y/N) gave him a grateful look. They set off again but were pulled back by Aiden grabbing both her and Glenn's arms.

"Hey, we've got a way of doing things around here," Aiden tried, making a poor attempt of establishing his authority, which deflated when she scoffed.

"Yeah, ones you don't tell me about apparently," She grumbled. There it was. That short fuse. That undying rage. Daryl slowed to a stop as more people started to gather at the noise. She looked over to him, telling him with a glance that he might have to step in if it got too far.

"You tied up walkers," Glenn shot back, and that set Aiden off. Nicolas bounced between each foot awkwardly, like he didn't know what to do with himself.

"It killed our friend!"Aiden shouted "Look, I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."

"Not when they put our people in danger," (Y/N) stepped closer, almost chest to chest with Aiden, and Daryl smirked slightly. That was his girl.

"If that's the case, we're just as screwed as your last run crew," Glenn agreed, putting a hand on (Y/N)'s shoulder to get her to back off. They shared a look, and she reluctantly took a step back. Glenn was trying to keep it peaceful, but he wasn't Aiden get away with this shit. Neither was (Y/N), except Daryl wasn't so sure about the peaceful part. Aiden shifted at Glenn's words, and Nicolas narrowed his eyes. Daryl took a step closer, shooting the latter man a warning glare.

"Say that again," Aiden stated, lightly shoving Glenn's chest. He brushed off the warning words of Noah and Tara, and both Glenn and Daryl could see that (Y/N) was barely holding her rage back. Glenn squeezed her shoulder lightly, clearly seeing it too. She was waiting for the right moment, but she was going to break any second. "C'mon tough guy."

Glenn just stared back at him, raising his eyebrows ever so slightly, and the expression pissed Aiden off even more. (Y/N) had to bite back a laugh. "No one's impressed, man. Walk away."

Someone had clearly alerted Deanna to the situation because she came running out, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes slightly at the woman. It was pretty damn clear she didn't like her. However, her expression softened slightly, and some of her anger dissipated when she saw Enid join the newly formed crowd, with Carl not far behind her.

"Aiden, what's going on?" Deanna asked, running over. Daryl saw Rick slowly making his way over with Michonne, and they were both observing too. The tension in the air was thick enough to cut and it felt stifling.

"These two have got a problem with the way we do things. Why did you let these people in? Why didn't you kick her out?" Daryl's eyes furrowed, and his glare settled. This asshole was really trying to get them thrown out? After the shit he'd just heard?

"Because we actually know what we're doing out there," Glenn immediately answered and he barely had time to dodge as Aiden swung for him, while Deanna shouted his name. However, (Y/N) immediately shot into action. The fury she'd been suppressing exploded out all at once, and she didn't hesitate to land a punch ride to Aiden's nose. She'd hit him with enough force to cause his nose to bleed, and Daryl felt a twisted sense of pride in his stomach.

"(Y/N)!" Enid yelled, and (Y/N) looked over to her in panic, scared someone had lunged for her. But while she was distracted, Nicolas had managed to get a hit in on her side, making her fall backwards slightly. Her eyes darkened and she went to attack him, but two arms latched around her waist and yanked her away from the fight. At some point, Aaron had come running towards the commotion and had snuck up behind her. He was trying to talk to her, to calm her down but she only saw red.

However, while the people had been distracted with (Y/N), apparently well-acquainted with her outbursts, no one had thought to stop Daryl. The second, Aiden lunged for Glenn, he was running at them, anger boiling inside of him, but then Nicolas dared to lay a hand on his girl and he felt like that day in the woods with Beth. When he couldn't stop his anger. It just flowed through him, and soon Nicolas had been pinned to the floor with Daryl's arm to his neck. Rick sprinted to them, shouting at him, but Daryl had tuned him out, eyes focusing on the son of a bitch below him. He felt arms yanking him away and he growled something (he couldn't even remember what he was so damn pissed) to, who he assumed was, Rick. Aiden stood up and went to walk towards (Y/N), which made her struggle slightly in Aaron's hold, until Michonne stepped in front, pushing him back.

"Back the fuck up, asshole," (Y/n) shouted, pulling in Aaron's arms, and Michonne narrowed her eyes at Aiden.

"You want to end up on your ass again?"She warned, staring him down until he backed up. After another minute, Rick finally made Daryl let up and Rick pushed him away slightly just for good measure. He was practically vibrating with anger, but he backed away, picking up his crossbow before walking to his girl. Aaron let her go hesitantly, and Daryl wrapped an arm around her waist, both to ground himself and to prevent her from going anywhere. He could feel the heat radiating over, and how pissed off she still was as she and Aiden glared at each other. Deanna stared at her for a minute, a look filled with scorn that nearly set Daryl off again. Aiden had taken the shot first, she couldn't blame his girl for shit.

"I want everyone to hear me, okay? Rick and his people are part of this community now and always as equals. Understood?"She shot a pointed look to her son, who looked away in shame as he wiped his nose, getting blood on the back of his hand. Daryl hid a smirk, despite the anger still stirring in his stomach. "Everyone turn in your weapons. Then you two come talk to me."

Deanna pulled Rick and Michonne to one side, and the pair watched for a second, as Glenn walked off with Maggie. Then, Daryl turned his girl to look at him, inspecting every inch of her to make sure she wasn't badly injured.

"Y'alrigh'?" Daryl questioned softly, placing one hand on her cheeks, which she leant into affectionately. It made his stomach do flips, and he was sure he was blushing but if he was, she didn't say anything. Made him feel like a damn teenager again. She placed her hand over his, touching his ring with a small reassuring smile.

"I'm all good, Dixon. Might have a bruise on my ribs, but I'll live," She replied and Daryl turned to look at Nicolas with a dark look. They were so caught up in themselves that they didn't notice Aaron watching them with a curious look. He was smiling softly. He hadn't been able to get much out of his friend when talking about her husband. She'd let a little slip when she, him and Eric got drunk during her first week, but she'd never told them his name, or anything deep. If she had, maybe he would've been able to reunite them sooner.

Everyone dispersed, with Aiden and Nicolas following Deanna back to her house. (Y/N) watched after them, glaring holes into the back of their heads.

"(Y/N, I know you're pissed off, but you have to quit the fighting. Deanna's going to kick you out if you aren't careful," Aaron warned, folding his arms over his chest, and Daryl's head snapped over furiously. However, (Y/N) turned to him with a face that told him she'd heard this a million times before.

"Fucker went for Glenn first. She just defended him," Daryl murmured and Aaron let out a deep sigh. Guess it wasn't just (Y/N) he had to watch out for now.

The next day, Daryl and (Y/N) had been moved into their own house, and while she was hesitant to leave Eric and Aaron, neither she nor Daryl could deny how nice it was to have their own privacy. It almost felt like life before the apocalypse. Well, besides the fact that this house was worth more than they ever could have afforded before the world went to shit. And they were missing a certain loud-mouthed idiot. Enid also technically lived there, but she was always in and out. One thing both he and his girl knew, was that he was suffocating in here. He hated not being out there. So when she suggested he go hunting, he was out of the door quicker than she could blink. He felt guilty leaving her behind, but she could manage her own, and she had her own jobs to do. Besides, Enid could keep her company. She'd be fine.

The bushes rustling made his crossbow shoot up. Daryl narrowed his eyes, trying to pick out if it was a person, walker or animal, but he quickly realised it was a human and his guard went up tenfold.

"Come out! Now!"He snarled, placing his finger on the trigger as the person began to emerge. Aaron. Son a bitch scared the shit out of him. Not that he'd admit it. He lowered his crossbow with a huff upon seeing the recruiters alarmed face. "Ain't ya supposed to be in Alexandria with Eric?"

"(Y/N)'s watching over him. You can tell the difference between walkers and humans by sound?" Daryl just grunted in response and Aaron studied him, as he checked the string of the crossbow. He wasn't as bad as he made himself out to be. He could see it in the way he acted with (Y/N) alone, and that wasn't even beginning on the rest of his family "Can you tell the difference between a good guy and a bad guy? Rick doesn't seem to be an expert at that."

"There ain't much of a difference no more," Daryl snapped back. What was with this guy? Didn't he know when to stop prying? Wasn't none of his business. Aaron didn't miss the way he squinted at him, or how his shoulders squared defensively.

"That how you feel about your people? About (Y/N)?" Aaron questioned. Daryl tensed slightly before continuing forward into the woods.

"Why ya following me?" Daryl snapped. If it had been anyone else, he probably would've been shouting by now. But Aaron was (Y/N)'s friend. He could talk about her like that. He meant no ill will. Others don't get the right. They didn't know her. They just expected the worst because he was some redneck. Expected her to be the same.

She was so much more.

"You ride horses?"Aaron asked, trying to lighten the situation. He'd really hoped he could save that horse. The kids had been asking him for weeks. At least he wasn't suffering anymore.

"I ride bikes," Daryl responded shortly. Aaron was kind, and he could see how his girl was friends with him. Why she trusted him. They'd taken care of her. Seen that pretty clearly yesterday with Aiden and Nicolas and stopping her from killing them. But everything felt too much still. He wasn't used to being somewhere like this. Even before everything. Even with his girl starting to bring him to the right path. Everything was just overwhelming. He knew Aaron was trying to help, to get to know him,  but whether that was out of kindness or to stay on the good side of his girl, he still hadn't figured it out.

"I take it you don't mean 10-speeds," When Daryl didn't say anything, Aaron let out a small sigh. "I know you're feeling like an outsider. (Y/N) does too, even if she tries to deny it. It's not your fault, you know. Eric and I, we're still looked at as outsiders in a lot of ways. We've heard our fair share of well-meaning, but hilariously offensive things from some otherwise really nice men and women. And you should hear how they talk about (Y/N) sometimes. People are people. The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get. Fear shrinks the brain. They're scared of you and me for different reasons. They're less scared of me because they know me. It's less and less every day. So let them get to know you. You should go to Deanna's party tonight."

By that point, they'd both stopped. Daryl looked back at Aaron with disbelieving eyes. Like hell was he going to some dumb as shit party. People'd stare, whisper, ask questions. They did little else when he was around, normally.

" I got nothing to prove. I met a lot of bad people out here doing a lot of bad shit. They weren't afraid of nothin'," His eyes flashed back to Terminus. Glenn's terrified eyes. The rage in Rick's eyes. Carl's trembling in the storage container. His girl, who'd been so damn close that if he'd stopped for a second, he would have found her.

"Yeah, they were," Aaron replied, smiling at him slightly before walking past him.

"Yer goin'?" Daryl raised his eyebrows, and (Y/N) turned to smile at him. She didn't look herself. Actually no, she looked exactly like herself. But the old her. This wasn't the new, hardened, mildly terrifying new (Y/N). It felt alien. Almost wrong. But hell if she didn't look good, even if she was dressed up for a dumb ass party.

"I want to get to know your family. Besides, I need to prove a point to Deanna and her shithead sons. You sure you won't come?" She trailed over to him and admired him in the last rays of the sunset. He didn't want her to go. Didn't want her near Aiden, Nicolas or Deanna's other son, who he had the pleasure of not yet meeting. He'd only just gotten her back, and everyone wanted a piece of her. It was starting to piss him off.

Daryl just shook his head, moving some stray pieces of hair out of his eyes at the same time. "Naw. Maybe later."

(Y/N) nodded, before taking his hand, using the other to reach up and play with the ends of his hair. He squeezed her hand, a silent demand of her to stay.

"Never thought I'd see you with long hair, Dixon," She said absentmindedly and he snorted quietly. Sometimes it slipped his mind that the last time she'd seen him, he'd looked almost completely different.

"Watch yourself, (L/N)," He shot back, but there was no venom. Just a tender look in his eyes that was reserved for only her. She let out a quiet laugh and brought their joint hands up to kiss the back of his hand before letting go. Merle was right, the asshole. She did make him soft.

He watched the party from a distance, glancing through the window. Trying to get a look, trying to find the courage to go in. His girl or not, the idea of going in there made his skin crawl. Daryl wasn't a people person, it was pretty damn clear. He wished she'd stayed at home with him, but it did make his heart ache slightly knowing she was only going to try and connect with his family. She didn't get pissy about the fact he called them family, didn't judge, didn't expect them to trust her just because they were married. Just tried to connect with them

He let out a heavy sigh, cursing under his breath and turned around, beginning to head back home. Hell, he'd started calling it home now. Maybe it was being with her again, made him feel at home. Maybe he was getting used to this place. Not damn likely. As he was walking past Aaron and Eric's house, (Y/N)'s old home, the light on the porch switched on, and Aaron walked outside

"Daryl. Hey," Aaron greeted, and Daryl resisted a sigh. Sure, he was nice but it was becoming clearer and clearer that this was about him trying to get to know him for (Y/N). But thinking about it, that was exactly what his girl was doing with his family. Goddamn it.

"Thought you were going to that party over there," Daryl responded, leaning against the fence.

"Oh, I was never going to go 'cause of Eric's ankle, thank God," Aaron smiled, looking relieved and Daryl furrowed his eyebrows

"Why the hell did you tell me to go, then?"He snapped, feeling a little guilty by the outburst until he saw the amused (but oddly proud?) look the other man was giving him.

"I said try. You did. It's a thought that counts thing," How long had this guy spent with (Y/N)? Starting to sound just like her.

"All right," Daryl mumbled, pushing off from the fence to walk away until Aaron's voice stopped him again.

"Hey, come in. Have some dinner. Come on, man. It's some pretty serious spaghetti," Aaron offered. Daryl turned to face him, sure he'd see a teasing look on his face. Expecting it to be a joke. But there was a hopeful look on Aaron's face along with a small grin. Yeah, he was starting to see why (Y/N) liked him so much. He hesitated, biting his lip nervously for a second, before walking back to the house. Aaron's grin widened, but Daryl pretended like he hadn't seen anything.

Apart from a greeting from Eric, the three men mostly sat in silence, digging into the spaghetti. Daryl knew he should probably be more aware of how he was eating, he was slurping and he probably looked like a pig (if (Y/N) was there she'd be giving him hell for it), but he'd stopped caring. And while Aaron and Eric shared an occasional muffled laugh, they didn't seem too bothered. Daryl couldn't help but notice the empty two settings on the remaining chairs, and apparently, Eric had followed his gaze.

"We're still getting used to (Y/N) being gone. Enid too. She didn't live with us, but she stayed here a lot because of (Y/N). Guess we still haven't gotten out of the habit of setting their seats," Eric joked lightly, and Daryl made a grunt of acknowledgement.

"Mmm, when you're out there, if you happen to be in a store or something, Mrs Neudermyer is really looking for a pasta maker. And we're all really trying to get her to shut up about it. I mean, we have crates of dried pasta in here, but she wants to make her own or something," Eric seemed oblivious to the pointed looks Aaron was giving him, and the confused one that Daryl seemed to have etched onto his face. Eric was more bubbly than Aaron, more talkative, but still sweet. He didn't expect responses from Daryl, happy to just talk away. Maybe (Y/N)'s friends weren't too bad " I really think she just wants something to talk about, so... if you see one out on your travels, it would go a long way to..."

Finally, Eric looked over to his husband, seeing him shaking his head and his words died on his tongue. Looking awkwardly between Daryl and Aaron before settling on his pasta, a small apologetic smile on his face

"I thought it was done. You didn't ask him already?" As if she'd heard Eric's silent plea to be rescued from the mild embarrassment of the situation, the sound of the door opening made Aaron and Daryl shoot up until they heard (Y/N)'s voice following.

"Aaron? Eric? You home?" She called, sounding tired, and Aaron let out a relieved sigh, before calling her into their dining room. Daryl couldn't help but smile as she walked in. It still felt like she wasn't real. Like she'd disappear any day and he'd wake up in that barn, or on the road, starving and dehydrated. She grinned back at him, but she didn't miss the teasing wink Eric gave her. "Hey, Dixon. What're you doing here?"

"We invited him for the infamous killer spaghetti," Eric grinned at her, nudging her hip with his shoulder as she walked to stand between his seat and Daryl. Instinctively, Daryl took her hand, and she bit back a child-like grin. Aaron gave her a look, one he couldn't recognise but she clearly did as she glared back at him playfully.

"You told him yet?" She asked, turning slightly to look at Aaron properly, nodding her head towards Daryl slightly. Daryl's confusion only furthered. Why did everyone seem to know what was going on except him? Hell, he was willing to bet if Enid was here too then she'd probably know.

"Was just about to, but <i>someone</i> nearly let the cat out of the bag," Eric looked away guiltily, but it was obvious he was forcing back a chuckle.

"Tell me what?" Daryl finally spoke up, and he didn't miss the way her hand tightened around his. Her grin turned slightly mischievous as Aaron started leading them towards their garage. Aaron opened the door and (Y/N) squeezed Daryl's hand again (and if she saw his cheeks starting to go pink, she didn't say anything) while her friend flicked the light on.

The garage was stuffed with spare parts and something that looked suspiciously like a motorbike beneath a piece of huge sheet. (Y/N) let go of his hand, opting instead to lean in the doorway, smiling softly at the excitement that flickered in her husband's eyes, even if his face stayed stoic. It'd been so damn long since he'd seen something like this, and while it reminded him a little too much of Merle's biker buddies, this also felt like home. He felt like a kid in a candy store. Aaron and (Y/N) shared a knowing look behind Daryl's back

"When I got the place, there was that frame and some parts and equipment. Whoever lived here built them," Aaron explained, as Daryl started picking up pieces, admiring them and putting them down again.

"It's a lot of parts for one bike," Daryl stated, trying to hide how happy he was, and he could practically hear (Y/N) rolling her eyes

"Whenever I came across any parts out there, I brought them back. I didn't know what I'd need. (Y/N) tried to figure it out, but it wasn't her area of expertise," There was a teasing tone in his voice at the last sentence and Daryl heard his girl mumble something along the lines of 'shut up. "I always thought I'd learn how to do it, but I get the feeling you already know what to do with it. And the thing is, you're going to need a bike."

"Why?"Daryl pulled back the sheet and saw the skeleton of a bike, with a box of tools next to it.

"I told Deanna not to give you a job because I think I have one for you. I'd like you to be Alexandria's other recruiter. I don't want Eric risking his life anymore," Aaron replied. Daryl understood that, probably better than most people in this community. (Y/N) let out a hum of agreement, and Daryl looked over as she turned to glance back into the house. She was protective of her loved ones. Always had been, and he was really starting to realise just how much Aaron and Eric meant to her.

"You want me risking mine, right?"Daryl questioned, sounding sharper than he wanted, but Aaron could tell he meant no harm by it.

"Yeah, because you know what you're doing. You're good out there. But you don't belong out there. I know it's hard getting used to people getting used to you. And I understand right now you need to be out there sometimes. So do I. But the main reason why I want you to help me recruit is because you do know the difference between a good person and a bad person, "Hell, he really had spent too much time with his girl. Daryl bit his lip in thought, but he already knew his mind was made up. Being in here all the time was killing him. Even with his girl here, he knew he couldn't stay here for long without getting antsy.

"I got nothing else to do. Thanks. I'll get you some rabbits," Aaron let out a loud laugh at that, patting Daryl's shoulder as he stepped past him, back to his girl in the doorway. She was smiling, asking him silently how he was feeling. He just gave her a tiny smile, and clearly, that was enough for her, as she wrapped her arm around his side.

Daryl couldn't help but notice how close (Y/N) had suddenly gotten with Glenn, Rick, Tara and Maggie. He noticed the way the rest of his family seemed a little more at ease with her, not exactly trusting her yet, but clearly getting on that track. Carl still wasn't sure about her, but Daryl didn't miss how he'd come and actually started conversations with her a few times, instead of avoiding her completely. Part of him was suspicious that it had something to do with his obvious crush on Enid. And while it made his heart warm that she was starting to become integrated with his family, there was always someone whisking her away now. He just wanted to spend some damn time with his wife, but he had to go out with Aaron, and she was going on another run.

And every damn thing that could have gone wrong absolutely did. It'd been a god damn trap, and now he was trapped in a car, surrounded by fuck knows how many walkers with his wife best friend. And the walkers just kept coming, pouring out of the trucks, banging on the window. How fucking long until that glass shattered and they were made into walker meat? But despite the hell going on around him, he couldn't stop a chuckle escaping his lips. It was fucking ironic. Aaron gave him a bewildered look.

"I came out here to not feel all closed up back there. Even now, this feels more like me than back in them houses. That's pretty messed up, huh?" Daryl explained, looking over at Aaron, who still had that look, but had a small, almost sad, smile on his lips.

"You were trying," Aaron said, and Daryl shook his head lightly. Wasn't exactly a choice. There were the kids, his friends, his family. Then (Y/N) got added into the mix, and that was it.

"I had to," He shot back, eyes watching the walkers that were gnashing their teeth outside the window.

"No, you didn't. Listen, I saw you with your group out there on the road. Then you went off on your own to the barn. Storm hit and you lead your people to safety. That was it. I knew I had to bring you people back," Aaron had this gentle look, and he went quiet, thinking for a second. When he spoke again his voice was thick "You were right. We should have kept looking for that guy in the poncho. I shouldn't have given up. You didn't."

Daryl went silent, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket and lighting it. He'd given up. On his girl. Given up on her, lost hope started thinking she was dead. And look at what happened.

"I didn't, because I gave up before," It didn't take a genius to figure out what, or rather who he was talking about "Hadn't seen her in two years. Thought she was dead. Found 'er. Ain't givin' up this time. I'll go. I'll lead 'em out. You make a break for the fence."

God, she was going to kill him for this.

Aaron's head snapped over, the beginning of tears in his eyes quickly disappearing as he processed Daryl's words. "No, no, no. This was my fault."

"Wasn't a question. And this ain't yer decision. It ain't nobody's fault. Just let me finish my smoke first. Promise you'll look after ma girl, 'right?" Daryl brought the cigarette back to his lips, taking a draw. He ignored Aaron' stare, his leg bouncing lightly. This'd destroy her. But, she had people to look after. And people would look after her for him. His family would be there, Aaron, Eric, Enid. She'd forget about him after a while.

"No," Aaron said sternly, and Daryl was almost taken back by the tone. Never heard him talk like that. "You don't draw them away. We fight. We go for the fence. We do it together, alright? Whether we make it or not. We do it together. We have to."

Daryl fell back into that silence, biting his lip in thought. (Y/N) would probably never forgive him if he let Aaron die. But she'd never forgive Aaron if he did. Fuck. Shit.

"Alright. You ready?" Daryl took one last drag before extinguishing the cigarette and picking up his knife instead. Hell, he couldn't believe he was agreeing to this. Sorry (L/N) "We'll go on three. One, two-"

But three never came as one of the walkers outside's guts spilt on Aaron's window, making them both freeze and exchange a puzzled look. There was no gunshot. The dead didn't kill their own. His door was suddenly yanked open, making Aaron scuttle back and lean on Daryl slightly, before he saw a guy standing there, holding a badass staff. He climbed out, followed immediately by Daryl. Everything was a blur of guts, blood and aching muscles until they got back to the gate and closed it. He was pretty sure he was just running on adrenaline at this point

"Hey, Daryl?" Aaron said breathlessly and Daryl looked over to see him smiling "Take care of her your damn self."

They got back just in time to see all hell had broken loose. The sound of shouting and screaming greeted them as Spencer let them through the gate, and Aaron had gone sprinting ahead, followed soon by Daryl and Morgan. Daryl's heart was pounding, worried (Y/N) was in the middle of it. Shit, shit, shit, shit. (Y/N) and Abraham were holding Pete down as he squirmed and glared up at them. And there on the floor, Deanna was crying, begging while she pressed against the slice on Reg's neck. Alexandrian's watched in terror, and horror as he choked on his own blood, and Daryl didn't miss the look in (Y/N)'s eyes, beneath all the fear and rage. A look he knew too well. She was reliving something. He only wished he knew what. It was then Daryl noticed Michonne's bloody katana on the floor, where Michonne herself looked at it with disgust. Rick was stood beside Abraham and (Y/N), watching Deanna with pity, but waiting for her instruction as Reg ultimately stopped moving. The air was silent, still, and he could see Aaron bouncing slightly from foot to foot, desperate to check up on his husband as Morgan watched with disdain.

One bullet, and it was done, blood splattered on (Y/N) and Abraham's faces. But she didn't even flinch. Just stared blankly. When they got back to their house, Enid, who'd allegedly been told to stay in the house but snuck out (in Enid like fashion) was wrapped under (Y/N)'s arm. She looked scared still, and Daryl had tried to comfort her, even if it hadn't been much, until (Y/N) had been relieved from the situation and took over. She was like a mini carbon copy of his girl, with the addition of teen angst, but she was easy to talk to (even when she was traumatised). His girl still had that blank look, had it since Rick pulled that trigger, and somehow that scared him more. She ushered Enid to her room, and Daryl knew she would either leave within a few minutes, or she wouldn't move until morning. But Enid didn't protest, just gave (Y/N) a quick hug and rushed upstairs.

His girl was still silent, as they reached their room, as they started changing into their pyjamas, as she went off to brush her teeth and wash the blood off her face, as they climbed into bed. It wasn't until Daryl reached out to touch her and she flinched back, did he attempt to break the silence.

"(Y/N)," He mumbled, and she raised her eyebrows to show she was listening but didn't meet his eyes. His stomach was in a knot, worry, nerves and interest as he watched her. "Hey, look at me."

It took her a minute, but reluctantly, she dragged her eyes up to meet his and he saw it. Guilt, anxiety and trauma all wrapped in one.

"Talk to me," Was all he said, and that was all it took. It was spilling out of her before she could stop it, and her hand found him desperately.

"After Anna, Ben, Andrew, Kai, Mom and I were chased out. Moved camp every day. Didn't know where we were going, just kept moving. One night, we were distracted. Ben was talking about smoke or something, and Kai started sayin' how we should go towards Washington. Said it was one of the few places that might have civilisation. We let out guard down," (Y/N) hesitated again, and Daryl squeezed her hand tightly, prompting her to continue. Every word she spoke, the sadder her eyes grew. The guilt kept building and building, and Daryl felt his own pit of dread in his stomach. She was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it. "Some assholes come out of the woods, demand our supplies. I said no and they... they shot Kai. Then Ben and Andrew. Started going through our stuff, held me back as they murdered my family. Then they grabbed mom and-"

Daryl didn't hesitate in pulling her in when her voice hitched and she stopped again. He held her so tight, he was almost certain it was hurting, but she didn't voice any complaints. She just curled into him before continuing.

"Those bastards slit her throat. I had to put her down when she turned. Left me in the middle of the woods. When Reg... I just saw mom. It was like I was back there, reliving again and again on repeat. And I can't help but think that if I'd stepped forward, maybe Reg would be alive," She whispered, fingers clutching onto the sleep shirt he wore. He shook his head, placing a kiss on her hair.

"And you'd be dead. Ain't yer fault. None of it. Not yer ma and yer family. Not Reg. Weren't nothin' you coulda done. Ya cain't blame yerself for it," Daryl said, and while his tone was gentle, the words were firm but they seemed to do nothing to ease her, she just held on tighter. "I know that ain't everythin'. What happened?"

"We lost Noah. He was right there. We had him, and then he was just gone. Glenn and I, we held onto him so hard, but the walkers they- they got him. Pushed him against the glass. We had to watch-" It was then Daryl felt her pull back and she adjusted so her arms were wrapped around him, tucked under his chin again when he pulled her close.

"I'm sorry," He didn't know what else to say. Noah was gone. That kid was something else, annoying sometimes, sure, but he brought this hopeful light to the group, even when they were damn near dying on the road. He found his brain starting to ache and a weird feeling in his chest. Daryl was well acquainted with loss, everyone was now, but it never got any easier. Not when the losses kept coming, and to the people who deserved them the least. He couldn't imagine how terrifying it must have been to watch. What it was like for her. He didn't want to. The thought alone was enough to give him nightmares. So he just held her tightly, even as he felt a wet patch seeping through his sleep shirt. Even as she shook. Even as she drifted off, exhausted and hurting, and he laid awake for hours after. He couldn't make it okay, even if he wanted to. And hell he really did. He couldn't bring Noah back, couldn't wipe the memory from her or Glenn's mind.

The only thing he could do was be there for her, comfort her, help her out of that place whenever she went there.  However, the only thing he could do, right at that moment, was hold her and not let go.

TAGS: OPEN

Tags (for this series): @graniairish @fuseburner @gloomystorm @bxxbxy @browneyes528 @hoemadegrace @reichelhache​

[purple-possibilities]

Like Father, Like Son

Rating: Teen

Warnings: mentions of death, mentions of prostitution, like slightly dark? Gritty maybe is a better descriptor, Naruto world taken seriously.

Length: 1888 words

Pairing: MinaKushi, Minato’s Canonical Dad x Minato’s Canonical Mom

Genre: romance, drama, slight angst (we know how these two ended up), crack taken seriously

Summary: the story of Minato’s parents, and how that influenced Minato’s decisions, and his courtship of Kushina. Inspired by this post about Minato being extra.

Like many children in ninja villages—and truly, just children in general, since the Warring States Era and the formation of the Ninja Villages—Namikaze Minato is an orphan. His father was a self-taught ninja from a small village on the boarder of Kaze no Kuni, while his mother was a kunoichi from Tsuchi.

Though Minato's parents had died when he was young, he was old enough to remember them. He was old enough to understand why his parents were forced to hide away from their home countries, old enough to know when and why he had to hide and lie.

He was old enough to understand why tousan had to escape in the night while he and kaachan had to flee in the cover of tousan's sacrifice distraction.

He was old enough to understand why he and kaachan had to lie about their ninja training when they immigrated into Konoha with forged papers so realistic that not even Konoha's infamous T&I, or their renowned Yamanaka clan could tell the difference.

He was old enough to understand why kaachan was forced to work in the way she did, why strange people would spend an hour or two, or sometimes even the whole night behind the door to his mother's room, why she made him leave when some specific visitors stopped by, why he eventually came home to find her laying in bed, blooms of red and shocks of shiny white against her cold, still skin.

He was old enough to remember it all—to want to change it all, one day—but his mind would always take him back to one specific memory.

His most precious memory of all.

The love in his parents' eyes.

Minato could recite the story word for word, with how much his kaachan told it—how much more she would cling to the words after tousan was gone.

Kaachan was from Iwagakure, having sworn her life to the Tsuchikage and the Tsuchi no Kuni daimyou as a kunoichi of the Rock. Touchan truly had no allegiance—his skills had come from a talent with chakra and a necessity for self-defense.

So when touchan had seen a group of Suna-nin abducting a woman, he did what any good man would do.

He saved her.

Touchan had followed after the Suna-nin in secret, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Touchan was not sure he could defeat the two Suna-nin on his own, but he knew that with the help of the right environment and a few tricks, he could come out victorious.

With his wind chakra aiding him in both speed and his strikes, touchan caught the first nin completely off guard. As the second nin—the one holding kaachan—noticed his partner listing to the right—before the dead body could hit the ground—touchan had just as swiftly eliminated the other, catching kaachan in his arms.

Unwilling to linger at the scene, touchan carried kaachan away, until it was safe for them to stop. When touchan untied kaachan's binds, she couldn't help herself.

Kaachan pulled touchan into a kiss.

It was in that moment that kaachan fell in love with touchan. Both were alone in this cruel ninja world. The shinobi nations were in the midst of the second Great Ninja War. People were dying left and right, hundreds every day.

Who would miss one kunoichi? Who would recognise one self-taught man from the edges of Kaze no Kuni?

Who would give up on the chance of happiness, love, and family, when the world had taken so much from them?

He remembers asking his parents how they knew they were in love after just one meeting.

His mother always answered, “A selfless act of kindness in a cruel world is a rare thing to be treasured. When you find that, especially when you're alone and hopeless, it's easier to leave behind the entirety of your harsh, unfriendly life for even just a single moment with such a person."

When Minato asked his touchan, his father always answered, "There is not much kindness in this world, not much any single person alone can do to fix that. We work hard, we may try to help others, but that's not going to get any one man very far. Kaachan has a fire in her, a toughness, a resilliance which cannot be crushed. She is fierce in her mind, body, and soul. As a man forced to grow and survive on his own, I know just how valuable, and how rare those traits are. I had desperately craved for companionship, for a family, and your mother has the strength and resilliance to ensure our story will be longer than most."

At the time, Minato didn't truly understand what either of his parents meant. But as an orphan, as a boy all alone, who had witnessed the worst of the world and wanted to make it better, who had his world stripped from him in a place that should have been safe, with the weight of his parents sacrifices on his mind and the desperate urge for a family once more...

Minato fell in love.

All he knew about love was what he'd seen from his parents. With no advice, no one to turn to, Minato did the only thing he could:

He emulated the fond, much told memory of how his parents fell in love with the percotions, strong-willed, resilliant Uzumaki Kushina.

And like a blessing from beyond, like a gift from his absent parents, Uzumaki Kushina—who had only ever glared and grumbled at Minato before then—had fallen in love with him.

It hadn't been hard to use the shadow-clone jutsu and then henge them into Kumo-nin. It wasn't hard to find Kushina all alone, after tricking the ANBU who followed her with a genjutsu laid out by Uchiha Fugaku's sharingan.

It wasn't hard for Minato to gently disable (but not disperse!) his own clones, to catch Kushina in his arms, to take her to "safety" (as if she were in any danger at all).

It wasn't hard to attract her heart and capture it—not with his boyish good looks, his patience, and most damning of all—

Kushina's lonliness and desire for connection.

With her home village destroyed and Mito-sama recently deceased, there wasn't a better time for him to put his ploy in motion. Maybe to a civilian that might seem callous, but to a ninja, that was just smart planning.

What did it matter if he was using her grief and loneliness to his advantage? His company would heal that for her anyways.

(Besides, it was his grief and lonliness which drove him to do it).

Minato would grow up to be a lot of things: a hero and a curse, a soldier and a leader, a husband and—just briefly—a father.

Minato would not go on to share the story of how he got Kushina to love him with his son. Minato would instead go on to emulate his father, sacrificing himself in the hopes of giving his child a shot at a better life.

But that was for later. In this moment, in the shoddy comfort of the bachelor apartment allotted to orphaned ninja-in-training, Minato put the pieces of his plan together.

Minato was old enough to retain memories of his life before Konoha, before his parents were taken from him, but only one memory stood out.

And so he remembered.

And so he took the past and made it his present with dreams of the future on his mind.

Fun Facts!

I imagine Minato's mom to be blonde like he, Naruto, and Deidara are, while his dad has red hair similar to Kushina and Gaara. His mother's hair was smooth and straight while his father's was spikes like Minato and Naruto.

The ninja who killed Minato's father were sent after his mother for desertion. Another Iwa-nin had caught sight of her and reported back to the Tsuchikage. The nin were sent to kill Minato's parents but were instructed to bring Minato back alive in case he was useful. I kind of puts Minato's massacre of those thousand Iwa-nin during the Third War into a new light...

Fugaku only agreed to help Minato because when he initially refused, Minato accused Fugaku of not being able to do it. Fugaku, like a certain other Uchiha we know, was desperate to prove himself. Minato didn't tell Fugaku about his plan, he just dared Fugaku to trick the ANBU.

Minato had to practice with his clones for weeks to be able to fight them without them "popping." He ended up having to use a seal on them to make them more resilliant. It was his first time working with fuinjutsu, and what sparked his love for it. Kushina's interest only heightened his own.

Yes, Minato's dad only went along with kaachan's feelings because he was lonely and she was strong. Relationships have been built on less. He was a very pragmatic man. He did genuinely fall in love with her though.

When Minato and his mom immigrated to Konoha, she had to pretend to be a civilian with no ninja training to avoid suspicion, and be offered asylum as a Hi no Kuni refugee. As a foreigner (even one posing as a Fire Country citizen) and with the growing number of refugees, it was hard for her to find a job, so she became a prostitute. She was killed by a nin who was triggered and experienced a panic attack/flashback. He fled the scene after, and ended up letting himself get killed during his next mission. The case of her murder remains unsolved—not that the police did much investigating. There were more pressing issues to deal with at the time.

The harsh life Minato lived—as a fugitive and then a refugee and orphan—is what led him to want to be Hokage. He wanted to save people from the pain he and his parents suffered.

Kushina's spirit (and declaration to be Hokage) is what attracted Minato to her. His father's words of finding someone strong and stubborn enough to survive in this cruel ninja world is what made him decide she was the one for him.

Kushina is dumb. So dumb. Didn't catch on even once. Fell for the plot hook, line, and sinker. Even when, years later, Minato shared the story of how his parents met with her, Kushina did not piece his plan together.

Due to Minato using "Kumo"-nin to carry out the abduction, he made their already poor reputation in Konoha worse. This was further exasterbated when real Kumo-nin actually tried to kidnap Hinata.

Minato sacrafied himself that night when Kurama was unleashed on the village, because all he could think of in that moment was the way his father sacrificed himself to save Minato and his mom. It clouded his judgement from more logical options, like, I don't know, not casting a suicide jutsu to trap half a tailed beast in his minutes old son and his soon to be dead body.

Kushina was delirious from pain meds, having an tailed beast extracted from her, and her own hotheadedness. It was a bad mix.

In the end, Naruto learnt that rescuing a girl is the way to her heart, following the Namikaze family tradition of courtship.

AN: So, uh... This got darker than I thought. The post that inspired this was so cute too. I wrote this a few weeks ago on a night I was too busy for this bs and yet it would not let me rest until it was released. I wrote this after being challenged prompted by @books-n-guns, as crack is my apparent specialty (we been knew, I know. After the LeeKaguya fic I think I solidified my place in this fandom). I hope you enjoyed it!

[crossdressingdeath]

On the Lan Sect negativity:

1) The Lan Sect’s involvement was only at Discussion Conferences and the like - events they had to attend. No real choice, they had to go. But WWX mentions only the Jin Sect at Qiongqi path, and only the Jin and Jiang Sects at the siege.

WWX only mentions that WN might have hurt Lan Sect members when he went wild at his execution with WQ - and it should be noted that the Lan Sect let LWJ argue on behalf on the Wens. They had the power to stop him, but they didn’t. At the Nightless City, WWX seemed to attack everyone with no mercy or distinction between friend or foe. Of course they’re worried when LWJ disappears with him. But LXC specifically points out that he wanted to do it secretly, so it wasn’t a Lan Sect siding with the Jin Sect thing.

Yeah, there was the Second Siege... but the Jin Sect had “proof” that WWX had killed innocent people and had kidnapped Sect heirs and junior disciples. Not great proof, but ya know. And the Lan Sect was one of the first ones willing to listen to WWX.

2) We don’t know what went on with LWJ’s mother. We don’t know much about who she killed, why she killed them or anything. The fandom likes to paint her as this helpless victim but we don’t know if she was. We don’t even know if she was in love with her husband or not. You can speculate. You can headcanon. But you can’t know. It sucks, but it is what it is.

3) We see in the extras that it’s perfectly normal for Sect members to interact with someone of the opposite biological sex. WWX sees and talks to a female disciple, who was heading to feed the rabbits. And, actually, it seems that the separation only happened recently, as WWX’s parents met at CR. CSSR met JFM at CR. And it seems like a lot of the parents were there as well. It’s probably a tradition for Sect heirs to go. I wonder what could have happened with the past generation that could have caused the Lan Sect to decide “You know what, let’s seperate them”? That sounds like a great idea for a crack fic, honestly...

Anyway, the gossiping rule is only there to discourage the spread of misinformation. Considering that one of the main themes in the novel is the dangers of taking gossip at face value without looking into it, I don’t think that’s a rule we’re meant to find oppressive.

4) Where does it say that the “no talking to WWX” rule is written on the wall? I’ve only seen it in fics. And rereading the extra it was introduced in... hmm, not there... maybe translation differences? Or maybe it’s an exaggeration? Either way, this rule is clearly not taken seriously as WWX is allowed to teach the junior disciples. Without LWJ present even. This is shown in two seperate extras. So, unless we assume that the Lan Sect is too dumb to realize that WWX and the juniors all disappearing at the same time has a connection, we can assume that he’s probably allowed to teach them. And it’s very hard for a teacher to teach without communication with students.

5) Yeah, the Lan Sect has plenty of rules, but the rules are clearly dealt with differently depending on what they are, and the circumstances they are broken in. Like the rule against fighting - that is clearly fine to break if you’re fighting to defend someone or something. The rules against noise and running? Perfectly fine to break if there is an emergency and you need help instantly (or if you want to scold someone for doing something wrong). Someone being unconscious doesn’t violate the sleeping rules either.

It should also be mentioned that they’re even willing to let things slide not only based on serious (we never see WWX punished for running, or sleeping in, for example) but also on knowledge. They don’t punish him for those first four rules he breaks, they just make sure he can’t use not knowing them as an excuse to break more.

6) Yes, “Do not grieve is excess” sounds messed up on its own. But one, I don’t even remember if that’s a canon rule or a fanon rule (this is not as easy to double check as the rules in the extras), but I don’t remember it in any version I’ve seen. Two, there are certain parts of the grieving process that can actually be detrimental to one’s health if preformed for too long. The rule doesn’t put a time limit on grieving, it just says “excess”.

1) I believe it’s mentioned that they were present at the first siege, but it was the Jin and Jiang sects that were leading it and as I’ve mentioned before the fact that they felt the need to hide the bodies suggests to me that the Lans (and Nies) were far enough away from the actual Wen village that they never saw any of the remnants; it’s not like there wouldn’t be a large number of fierce corpses to keep them busy in the Burial Mounds. I think there may have been some Lan cultivators at the ambush? But that may be CQL-only (if it was a thing at all; I may be misremembering), and either way we never get any evidence to suggest their presence was sanctioned by the sect as a whole. And yeah, the Lans at the very least hid LWJ’s involvement from the rest of the sects; it may have just been an attempt to protect their own, but they were prepared to let a connection to WWX slide, at least. (Not to mention I don’t doubt that at least some of them suspected that A-Yuan was connected to WWX in some way, and no one said anything about that; I’ll be the first to admit that I can’t prove that, but it seems like a reasonable assumption.) And as you say, in the second siege they’re quick to stand down when given reason to believe that WWX isn’t an actual threat, not to mention how their sect leader actively sheltered him from the wrath of the sects not long before that point.

2) Yeah, that’s always the thing with the “the Lans locked up the Twin Jades’ mother and forced her to marry against her will” thing. It’s certainly a possibility, but it’s not a guarantee. The only source we get is getting the story second hand from people with a vested interest in making the whole affair look as bad as possible (to lower the risk of their current sect leader and heir doing something similar, which... fails). And if it did happen it doesn’t guarantee they’ll do it again in a very different situation; in fact we know they don’t, since WWX and LWJ’s marriage is accepted, if only grudgingly, and there’s no sign of them locking WWX up.

3) I imagine male and female disciples were always separated during classes, but it doesn’t follow that they’re separated all the time; clearly there are at least co-ed areas, if a female Lan disciple is going to visit the rabbits. Personally I’m thinking maybe the separation is at least stricter during the lessons to avoid distraction (hence why WWX never saw a female disciple as a kid but ran into one by accident while living in the Cloud Recesses) and it was probably a thing while the previous generation was there (CSSR is the exact sort of person to sneak into areas she’s not supposed to be in; I mean, she breaks into LQR’s room). But yeah, if nothing else there’s no reason to believe the male and female disciples don’t share information and a rule against sharing information that isn’t proven true (in a sect with rules against lying) which is generally rather negative towards the target doesn’t exactly seem unreasonable.

4) I think it’s in the ExR translation; is it not a thing in the original Chinese? But yeah, at worst the entire sect turns a blind eye to this rule being broken constantly, and more likely it was just quietly removed (if it was an official, policed rule to begin with, which is debatable). People seem to take that rule way more seriously than it’s ever taken in canon, honestly.

5) Yeah, the Lans are clearly prepared to make allowances in the rules for various reasons; there’s no reason to believe that mental health stuff wouldn’t be considered worthy of a similar allowance. Note that whenever we see a Lan faced with a clear mental health issue their response is to try to help; somewhat clumsily in LWJ’s case, but they do want to help, not shove the person back into some semblance of normalcy. That suggests to me that someone having genuine issues with following the rules would be treated more gently; note that LJY’s rule-breaking is treated mostly with mild exasperation and the usual punishment (which also grants Lan disciples a pretty useful skill, in this case; incredible arm strength is the Lan Thing, after all) and no one really seems to get fed up with him in any serious way.

6) Honestly, of all the sects I think that the Lans quite possibly have the healthiest grief-management stuff? I mean, we don’t see much of the Jins, but the Nies seem to go for “Channel everything into Rage and Fighting” and (while odds are it’s not indicative of the Jiangs as a whole, at least under JFM) every time we see grief in the Jiang sect it involves JC trying to murder WWX, which... is a whole thing. I’ve always taken “Do not grieve excessively” as “Do not let your grief consume you”, which is in fact a healthy way of looking at it; I don’t know if the Lans have grief counselling, but there is a point where grief just becomes incredibly unhealthy and saying “Hey, don’t do that” is at least... something. I do hope they offer some sort of assistance though, because just banning all-consuming grief and offering no help would be a whole mess. Still, if any sect is going to offer some form of counselling it’s going to be the one with the magic music for calming the mind!

[reineyday]

some feelings abt touya and bnha 302 in general! (long post)

jesus this whooooole chapter makes me so so so sad for touya, like he's canonically a crier and i just have all these images now of him crying off to the side while enji looks at his other kids and gives them the time of day. knowing that he was/is a frustrated crier makes the fact that dabi cant cry cuz of his burned tear ducts that much sadder ohhman

one of the things i cant get over is how touya was SO shunned by his dad that when he went to go tell enji about his fire turning from red to blue, he says "i might be as awesome as shouto sooner or later!" like?? this boy is 13 and shouto is 5 yet he's talking like the brother that's eight years younger than him is better than him and thar it's just a fact. the sky is blue, enji wants to beat all might one day, and shouto is better than the rest of his siblings. nevermind that he's only five and just wants to play with his siblings (and dont even mention to me how shouto says he wants to play with "touya and them" cuz im gonna fucking cry abt it. like even though touya's accepted he's bottom of the ladder in this family, shouto clearly wants some sort of acknowledgement from his older siblings and especially his older brother. IM FVCKN SOBBN). enji has made it clear in this family that shouto was what he was looking for and everyone else is not as important, and i knew this from shouto's pov but it's kinda wild to see it implied so casually in touya's words.

"you'll be glad you created me! i just know it!" HOLY SHIT. god my heart. oh my fuck. literally all enji had to do was show up to the fucking mountain, and he couldnt even do that? what the hell?? your son asks you to go to the mountain, you tell your wife not to let him go traim but she said she couldnt stop him, and instead of going yourself to make sure he's okay and BECAUSE HE ASKED YOU TO COME (and with an actually valid reason, no less! fire changing colour is kind of a big fucking deal!!!) you just?? let him go and let him stay there??? my god the amount of times touya must have burned himself and the trees with tears in his eyes. ahhhHHH!!!

what kills me (and touya too soon?) was that we thought before the back story started that enji forced touya to train till he burned up. then when 290 came out--and definitely after 301--we thought maybe touya overtrained himself and burned up. and sure, he was definitely overtraining, but to find out that the burns that "killed" him started just bc he was crying so much he lost control and didnt know how to ease up on his flames? he was upset and literally trying to get himself to stop crying, and then he just set himself aflame and burned up cuz of all his emotions??? that HURTS. holy fuck.

i cant believe natsuo's feeling lowkey guilty for not socking enji in the face like he wasnt EIGHT???? and let's be real, enji woukdnt have fucking listened to natsuo telling him to talk to touya--he already wasnt listening when touya would straight up say "look at me" and when even rei said touya just wanted enji to look at him and notice him. listen, i know sometimes miscommunications happen in families and children are embarrassed to admit they want attention and so their parents remain unaware that theyre not giving their kid something they want, but touya was as clear as can be on MANY occasions, and even rei agreed touya needed the attention and enji just wasnt listening.

also i know there was discourse abt touya being sexist by telling natsu that "the women in this house are good for nothing" and mb it was partly diff translations cuz i feel like saying "this house" makes it specific to rei and yumi instead of all women everywhere, but even disregarding that--i think it's a valid thought for him to have when rei wasnt standing up for him (where he could see, at least) and yumi admitted herself that she was too scared to interfere and so just tried to fix things and keep appearances. i feel like based on what touya's seen from them, it makes sense that he has that opinion. (also gonna mention that i think rei's and yumi's choices also make sense and i think they were valid, seeing as how they were afraid as well.)

and poor natsu being woken up in the middle of the night (what was implied to be often enough, esp cuz it seemed they share a room and their futons are close) bc of touya's pain. that's a lot of emotional responsibility for an eight year old, and it is also so sad that at 13, touya didnt have anyone else to turn to but his kid brother. at 13, i remember being fully aware of the distinction in maturity between an 8 year old and myself, and it sucks that touya couldnt go to anyone but a younger child with all his pain. i bet yumi being too scared to interfere translated to touya as "she wouldnt help me" and thats another reason he didnt go to the 2nd oldest when he needed to vent. (also not related to this but how the FUCK was natsuo so tall at 8 years old? wh a t)

this chapter. this fucking chapter. my heart aches for touya, and it's just such a huge fucking shame he didnt get the attention and validation and support he needed. there must have been workarounds so that touya could safely use his quirk. there weere DEFINITELY better ways to support your son through a self-destructive quirk, ways that involved actually being there and seeing him. i feel like if someone showed him the attention he needed and talked him through how to better control his emotions (and by extension, his flames) and a positive and healthy way, he could have been someone so great. and if he ever learned how to set aside the way he felt infefior to shouto and saw that shouto just wanted to play with his cool older siblings, it might have been really beneficial to see that there was someone there who thinks he's cool and gave him attention just bc he was an older brother, who needed him when everyone else in the househild didnt seem to need him.

and lastly, the fact that the chapter ends with rei saying that shouto is the family hero and that shouto will have to face dabi?? and it makes me angry that shouto has to take on that responsibility. that he was five and suffering for things he wasnt even a part of, couldnt be properly aware of, bc he was so young. he just saw that he was separated from his siblings and that his dad bullied his mom, then grew up shouldering enji's heavy goals and high expectations and abusive training alongside the barely-there memories of his older brother who died (i say barely there bc if natsu didnt even know shouto liked cold soba, shouto was definitely not around enough to have solid memories of touya before he "died"), and now he has to do the emotional labour of fighting his villain brother (who i bet shouto lowkey empathizes with when he thinks abt it late at night) as well as suffer the physical consequences of that agni kai. and it makes me angry that he has to do that, bc he's a Good Guy and he probably feels he has some sort of filial and familial responsibility. he's only 16. he just wanted to play with touya and them, and now he has to deal with this horse shit dabi's causing cuz his dad's an emotionally neglecting asshat who couldnt see past his dumb fucking ego until he saw shouto play with a bunch of kids during shou's remedial exam a decade after his eldest son burned himself to death. what the fuckety fuck.

lastly, since we saw touya burn uo the way he did... did he really just like... burn so much his jaw fell off, and that's how they found the jawbone? cuz holy hot (BURNING too soon???) damn that must have been painful as all hell. i wonder if next chapter we get to see if someone found touya at the park and helped him out and sorted out the jaw bone thing, or if we finally get to see if deku wakes up lol.

anyways this chapter hurt my heart big time, and i kinda wanna draw kid touya crying while being overlooked by his family to let out some of those feelings but we'll see.

and i still stand by my idealistic and naively optimistic hope that dabi gets redeemed and they soend some actually time together as a family (without enji. or at least, with an enji that has apologized to touya in seiza. like, forehead-to-floor apologize.)

does this hope sort out how dabi redeems himself, seeing as how he's murdered people in cold blood and shouldnt be excused for that bc those actions are also inarguably terrible? no. not sure how he could redeem himself for that kinda stuff honestly, but it doesnt mean i dont still somehow want the todoroki sibs to get along, cuz im weak for mending families.

also id like to send a huge kudos out into the world to rei todoroki for being firm for once and for also not running away from her mistakes like her asshole husband has been. i really admire and respect that. she was afraid and being abused, but now that she's been away from enji and has had time to heal, now that her and shouto are in the mend and she's seen that her eldest son is alive and a villain, she's a place where she can acknowledge that even though she was a victim too, she played a part in touya's emotional neglect and she's taking responsibility and that speaks to some incredible fucking strength. damn.

i hope one day that dabi realizes the same in regards to his mother and natsuo, who shouldered a lot of his emotional pain and suffered the consequences of his outbursts (even though his emotions are valid and his outbursts understandable, he still hurt rei and put a lot of pressure on natsu), and i also hope he sees that for all that he hates his father, his whole existence revolves around enji and it's a shitty place to be (and then he'll have ANGST abt it and that shit will be!! so good!!!)

yeah i think those were all my feelings. i had so many lol. their family situation is so difficult, i hope they all turn out okay and alive and healing.

oh i guess i also wanted to say that i kept calling enji an asshat and asshole cuz he was for sure, but i still think his redemption is valid and im glad he's taking those steps to be a better person by being a better father. i dont know if id want his family to forgive him for all that horrible shit he put them through (im personally hoping that no matter what anyone else does, natsuo will choose to to cooperate in the healing of his family as a unit but will never forgive enji) but i think it's good of people to try to be better than they were yesterday regardless of whether or not they get forgiveness. i dont personally like enji, but i dont hate that he's getting a redemption. i just hope it's a redemption that makes sense and forces him to put in the work, and isnt something like a death sacrifice for shouto or dabi. i want him to be alive and i want his redemption process to hurt like a fucking bitch while he forces himself to make better choices and be a better person, cuz redemption isnt supposed to be easy in the slightest. i GUESS all the crying he did in 302 was a good start.

anyways, if for some reason you read all the way down to the bottom--hello! and thanks for reading haha. cheers! :)))

[asterekmess]

1-11 Scott/Posey Stans always try to deflect criticism of the way Scott McCall is written in Teen Wolf by claiming that ANY attempt by a fan, a viewer, or a critic of holding Scott to a level of behavior that one would expect of a character who is a main and the self-proclaimed hero of the show is “racism”. Except that their accusations don’t make any sense whatsoever, because Scott’s canonical shitty actions and behavior don’t stem from his race (or canonical lack of thereof.)

Okay hun, this is a doozy, so I’m putting it under a Read More.

2-11 Scott McCall is mean. He’s mean to Stiles, he’s mean to Allison, he’s mean to Derek, he’s mean to Peter, he’s mean to Cora, he’s mean to Lydia, he’s mean to Jackson, he’s mean to Erica, he’s mean to Isaac, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Kira, he’s mean to Liam, he’s mean to Chris, and he’s even mean to Theo (“You are barely even human!”) Scott McCall is deliberately rude to the Hales, Boyd, Ethan, Danny, Hayden, Jiang, Tierney, and Melissa.

3-11 Scott McCall deliberately USES, INSULTS, HUMILIATES and DEHUMANIZES people in ways that demonstrate that he is fully aware of what he’s doing. Scott McCall deliberately disregards other people’s needs in order to fulfill his own. Tyler Posey being half Mexican doesn’t change the fact that his fictional character Scott McCall is a whiny coward and an abusive piece of trash,

4-11 and that his so called ‘defense squad’ enjoys the power fantasy that Scott can be cruel, can lie, can assault, can lash out, can violate other people’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent, can commit premeditated murder, can break the law without impunity, can dehumanize, can gaslight and victim blame his friends to his heart’s content and no one should ever hold it against him

5-11 In both the production and in some Scott supremacist fanfics, there’s often the premise that people are evil and in the wrong if they call Scott out on his bullshit or hold his toxic behavior against him. Take Season 1. As much as the Scott McCall defense squad brigade love framing Stiles and Derek getting shit done and prioritizing people’s life over Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums as the height of depravity

6-11 Scott/Posey Stans consciously and steadfastly ignore all the cruel things that Scott says and does throughout the seasons, such as “How much Adderall have you had today?” OR “What are you trying to do?! I just made first line! I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me and everything in my life is perfect! Why are you trying to ruin it?!” OR “The hunters had a reason to slaughter your entire family and pack”

7-11 (As an aside, it’s amazing to me how Fanon rewrites Scott as this brilliant thinker and strategist and mastermind who is so much smarter and better than everyone else in every way even though Canon Scott spends the entirety of Teen Wolf doing absolutely nothing except get his ass handed to him by everyone, whining about wanting to be popular/get his dick wet/play lacrosse, screaming at his friends and girlfriends, being utterly useless when left to his own devices,

8-11 and planning to bite Stiles against his will because he doesn’t know what to do. But I digress.) Or take Season 5. In the rain argument in Lies of Omission (5x09), Scott McCall’s hypocritical, dehumanizing speech to Stiles is one of the meanest, cruelest, most disgusting manipulations I have ever seen a television character deliver to another television character they supposedly cared about. It’s victim blaming and gaslighting at its vilest.

9-11 And, of course, the Scott McCall defense squad focuses exclusively on the idea that Stiles didn’t behave “the right way” in that scene (AKA taking Scott’s bullshit without clapping back like Scott wanted and demanded), and cannot entertain for one moment the idea that Scott provoked that response by dehumanizing Stiles and by accusing Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer based on Theo’s words alone.

10-11 After all, it’s part of their power fantasy. Scott being “abandoned” and “mistreated” by his “ungrateful” friends serves another type of fantasy: the poor oppressed martyr. It doesn’t matter why Scott is abandoned or who is leaving Scott, it’s all about Scott McCall’s right to own people and demand his friends’ love, friendship, loyalty, sympathy, forgiveness, obedience and devotion without having to account for his own abusive behavior.

11-11 And that’s Scott Stans’ point: Only Scott McCall Is Important and Damn Derek/Stiles/Liam/Other Teen Wolf character for having a life and motivations that don’t revolve around Scott! To them (and to Canon Scott), the pack exists not to serve all its members, but to serve and validate Scott McWhinyCall. Because, after all, that’s what antis want for themselves – validation in the face of shortcomings and bad behavior.

Wow, that was a lot of anger. Do you feel any better after venting that? I really hope so, it honestly looks p cathartic. Okay, I apologize in advance if I don’t come across as quite so passionate, I’m kinda bleh today and I already used up all my righteous fury in an earlier post, so I’ll do my best.

I honestly understand the worry about people disliking Scott as having racist motivations. As I said in another post, there aren’t a lot of Latino (wait, I read somewhere to use latine? Should I use that instead? I’ll use that, someone correct me if I’m wrong. The thing also said latinx was not great bc of pronunciation issues? I’m not educated enough on this. Halp, please.) Latine protagonist characters in popular television, especially for teen dramas like Teen Wolf. Intentional or not, written into the show or not, Scott is half-latine. His mother is a latine woman. We don’t see them speak spanish or take part in any specific cultural traditions, but that doesn’t make him white. Yes, his character was written for a white guy, but Tyler Posey is the one who got the part and we can’t strip him of his heritage just because the show originally meant for Scott to be white. My husband is almost always mistaken for white, even though he’s also half-latine, but that doesn’t make him any less latine. There’s little enough representation as it is, and if we start being picky about whether characters were ‘intended’ or ‘written’ as POC, everything will just fall to shit. Plus, as a white person, I have literally no rights to decide that Scott’s white. I’m cool with that. Would prefer to just stay in my lane, if I’m honest. With Scott established as being a POC, it’s totally reasonable for other POC and fans of Scott to be worried that those of us who don’t like him have that opinion because of either passive or active racism. There are a lot of occasions where Protags of Color were either liked less, or actively disliked for just being ‘not white.’ It also doesn’t help that Scott is one of very few “good” Characters of Color in TW (whether we agree or not, he is presented as a ‘good guy’). We have Boyd, who dies in 3A and doesn’t get much character developement in the meantime, and Kira, who sticks around for a while, then has to leave because of ‘losing control’ which is apparently a very common stereotype for POC, especially within Fantasy or Supernatural settings. Other than them, the other POC are either bad guys or just morally dubious. I’m not sure where Deaton falls on the scale either. I understand it being frustrating to some people for us to take one of the few “good’ characters and see him/describe him as a villain. It’s important for white people, and honestly, anyone not latine (because even POC can be racist against people who aren’t their race) to be self-aware and analyze the various reasons why we dislike Scott and make sure that we aren’t accidentally being passively racist. Just because we’re sure we aren’t, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t double check. And if we find we are, then it’s up to us to correct that mindset and educate ourselves. There is no shame in learning that you have not great habits or mindsets and working to fix them. That’s how growth works. It’s equally important that when we’re writing fic, we watch how we portray him and the other POC in the show. I’m not saying we can’t write Scott bashing fic. Fuck knows that I’ve written plenty of Bad Friend Scott McCall fic, and I don’t intend to stop. But we still need to be self-critical and make sure that we’re not writing Scott (or the others, please assume from here on out I’m saying Scott and the others) into racist stereotypes. We shouldn’t reduce him to just a “Yes” man, or make him constantly submissive, or constantly vicious and angry and mean for no reason. It’s one thing to write him as doing something bad or cruel and making it realistic for the story. It’s quite another to have him just randomly pop in to say “fuck you” and hit someone (I’m not referencing something specific here, I’m just saying dumb stuff). Honestly, I don’t know enough about this and I’m not really entitled to go into too much more detail. Instead, I’d recommend that even if you don’t think you’re hating Scott for racist reasons, still read This Post about racism in fandom/fanfic. When I read it, it was both reassuring and intimidating. I have anxiety, so I’m usually worried about doing things for ‘the wrong reason’ even when that’s not actually my reason for doing the thing. Reading this gave me a clearer view of my own thoughts, and it honestly made me feel a little more comfortable with my own mentality because it gave me a structure to think about and consider when I’m worried that I’m doing something racist. It’s worth the read. I’d also like to reiterate the suggestion on that post, to check out the blog Writing with Color, which is a great resource for writing Characters of Color. It doesn’t have as many resources for fanfiction writing and the grey area involved in writing characters that your reader already knows, but their ask box is closed at the moment, so maybe when it opens again someone’ll send in an ask about it (If I actually remember to, I’ll do it myself, but that’s unlikely, so if one of you feels so inspired, please do so and help a fic writer out!)

Now. I cannot speak for every single fan of TW who is anti-Scott in some way. Obviously not. But, I can speak for myself and for the experiences I’ve had within the fandom. My issues with Scott are many and complex and a lot of it is intrinsically connected to issues with the writing of the show in general and with the creators and the calls they made. In all the conversations that I’ve had with other fans, I’ve never seen anyone list Scott’s race as a problem. I’ve never seen anyone talk about how they wished he were more submissive or more obedient. Maybe that he would listen to actual adults once in a while, but not that he be unreasonably obedient of white characters. I’m not all-knowing on the subject of racist stereotypes, but nearly every complaint I’ve seen was based on details from the show and specific moments and dialogue, not just a general disgust with his existence. Furthermore, for all the anger I see directed at those of us that prefer Stiles, Derek, or even Peter, I’ve also never talked to anyone who liked those characters who wasn’t willing to admit that there were plenty of points in canon where they fucked up or did something wrong. Again, I don’t know everyone in fandom, so maybe there are people who won’t admit those things, but they aren’t in the majority.

I personally hate the way I see Scott treat people in the show. I hate the really vicious things he says and does and the chronic lack of self-awareness or growth. Even worse, the way the show excuses his behavior, be it intentional or not, has soured a lot of other parts of the show. The clearly impulsive moments that could easily be excused by him being a really stressed out teenager make me a lot more frustrated than they would, had I not known that he would never get better. That he would never stop saying things like that. I can’t even make myself enjoy the genuinely sweet moments with him and Allison or him and his mom, etc. I might hate that he left Stiles’ messages unanswered and skipped an entire day of school during a crisis to hang out with Allison, but I would’ve liked to enjoy their banter, the soft moments between them that are actually really nice. I can’t though, because so many other things about his character have ruined that for me.

It isn’t okay to attack people for disliking a character and throw around such charged words like “racist” and “abuse-apologist” or anything else. First off, this is fiction, and we all need to keep that in mind. These are not real people we’re talking about. Secondly, calling someone racist because they disagree with you (unless they are actively saying/doing something actually racist) isn’t okay and it isn’t an adult way to deal with things. Someone not liking a character doesn’t automatically make them racist. Someone happening to prefer a white character over a Character of Color doesn’t automatically make them racist. Sure, they might have passively racist motivations that even they don’t realize. But it is not up to strangers to come yell and call names without proof. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race (Not saying “i don’t see race.” I’m saying “Not About Race”) that I like Stiles over Scott, ranging from the fact that he’s physically more my type, to sharing a neurological condition with him, to just preferring Dylan O’Brien as an actor because he makes me fucking cry every time he cries on screen. What’s important is that we self analyze and check ourselves and our opinions to make sure that we aren’t falling into the racist habit of disliking Characters of Color for no real reason. But that isn’t something that other people can do for us, and it’s not their place to tell us what we think. Calling a stranger racist for saying they hate Scott’s behavior in the show doesn’t do anything for racial equality. It just makes people stop listening to the word ‘racist.’

There are times I seriously get frustrated with TW to the point of considering not watching anymore. Of closing my blog and stopping reading fanfic entirely because every single time I read a fic where Scott’s a ‘good guy’ or a ‘good alpha’ or where Derek is glad to be a beta again because he likes following Alpha Scott, I get squicked so badly I have to click out and just sit there for a second to settle. I can’t disentangle the things he does/says in the show from the fic.And I’ve written Good Friend Scott McCall fics. I have multiple wips where he’s either a decent person or he grows from being a dick to being a decent person. With my own work, I know that there’s an awareness to his behavior in the show and an active intent to rewrite/fix his behavior so that he is a nice person. With other people’s works, I don’t have a guarantee (unless it’s mentioned in tags or author’s notes, and I don’t expect people to have to explain themselves that way), and it personally makes me uncomfortable to read something when I don’t know if the writer actually sees Scott that way. It’s a personal preference, and one that I stick to pretty strictly.

Scott brings me no joy, and with him as the main character, I’ve come perilously close to cutting myself off from the most welcoming, loving fandom I’ve ever been a part of (except the Merlin fandom, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t compete with them. They’re fucking magical.). But I’m still here. I still love, if not the reality of the show, then all the potential I see in it when I watch. I love watching Derek and Stiles interact with each other and with the other side characters. I love seeing the glimpses of Boyd that we get, the tiny scenes of Erica, the snarky moments with Isaac. I even like Kira, though I haven’t seen a whole lot of the show where she’s in it/genuinely can’t remember it (I can’t even remember how far I’ve seen total, but I don’t think it was past S4, and I haven’t seen past S2 in months and months) and she spends most of her scenes with Scott, which just....kind of ruins the scenes for me.

That’s the glory of fandom though, of media in general. I don’t have to like Scott. I can love Derek and Stiles instead and I can choose not to read fics where Scott is a major player or an Alpha at all. I can read fics where Kira’s part of the pack without Scott ever getting involved, and see her interact with everyone else. Or fics where Boyd never dies and watch him bake or read or play lacrosse with the pack. I can curate my own experience, whether that means blocking tags or users or filtering fics, or just straight up skipping certain scenes/episodes of the show itself. I cope with my frustrations by coming on this blog and ranting about it. Yeah, this is a public space, but it’s also a space people choose to view. If they don’t like my opinions, they can block me or unfollow me or all of the above. They don’t have to read it, just like I don’t have to read any of their pro-scott stuff. I also read fic that does explore how Scott’s behavior is problematic and cruel sometimes. Fic that either erases him or turns him into the villain, I find fun and interesting and the relationship between him and Stiles cracking into pieces is something I find extremely cathartic, so I read it pretty much every chance I get (though, i’m so picky about fics I read, you’ve no idea). I also write fic. I write the most mushy, self-indulgent sterek fic and Stiles-centric fic and and Scott bashing fic that I can possibly write. It’s a joy and a therapy all its own. Fuck, I’m rewriting the entirety of canon for fuck’s sake and I’ve made so many changes that at this point I honestly have issues remembering what happens in the show, bc I rewrote the damn thing.

At the same time, Scott fans are gonna write their power fantasies. They’re gonna write anti-Stiles stuff and anti-Derek stuff, and whatever else tickles their fancy. They’re gonna make their own rant posts and gifsets. And to be quite honest, I don’t give a single flying fuck. I already have those tags filtered out on Ao3. I don’t follow any pro-scott tumblrs. That shit doesn’t show up for me most of the time, unless it’s not tagged properly, and even then I just click out, take a second, and move on.

No one is required to like or dislike specific characters, and it’s unfair of anyone to tell us otherwise. Fandom is built on choice. The choice to disagree with canon, or to re-envision it altogether, or to love it entirely. No one can take that away from you. So long as you aren’t hurting anybody, just keep doing you, friend. I’m here for you to vent to when it gets to be too much.

<3

[medea10]

Medea’s Worst Year of All-Time Anime/Game Superlative

Nobody saw this year coming…except for maybe Barbara Walters! Who could have predicted that this year would bless us with Australia burning, the entire west coast of the U.S. set on fire, stupid people setting fires because they wanted to reveal a baby’s gender, murder hornets, Ruth Bader Ginsburg dying, an almost war with Iran, serial killer mascots arrested, policemen killing unarmed black folks for having a counterfit $20, policemen killing unarmed black folks for breaking up a fight, policemen killing black folks for holding sandwiches, policemen killing unarmed black folks for fucking sleeping, a wide variety of “Karens” coming out of the woodworks, the end of Bojack, the end of Steven Universe, the end of Empire, and a pandemic so huge it’s killed the economy, canceled fun, and given the U.S. president the dumb-fuck idea of injecting bleach to kill the virus!?

SERIOUSLY, WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED ALL OF THIS WAS GOING TO FALL IN OUR LAPS LIKE HOT COFFEE ON THE CROTCH?!

At least there was anime this year.

…

At least there was SOME anime this year.

…

Biden won the election and Vickeblanca came out with Black Catcher this year.

Hey internet, it’s Medea here to give you her trashy opinion on this years anime and games that she’s watched or played. Because for some reason, my loser-ass loves to do out-dated as fuck memes! I shouldn’t complain, this shit brings a lot of attention to my page every year when I do this. Yes, 2020 was a complete dumpster fire so large that Domestic Girlfriend is crying foul. Many of us had to go on lockdown and ended up binge-watching the entire 957+ episodes of One Piece. I did no such thing. I am one of those “essential workers” so I didn’t hunker down for 9 months straight. But when I was home, I was watching anime. Actually, I would have done that even without the pandemic. I’m an introvert and find the human race to be deplorable.

You all know how this goes. I go over the best this year had to offer me. I had to search really hard to find the good in this year, especially in the anime world. Many things had to be put on hiatus or were delayed to a later date. Just a reminder, I don’t discriminate in what year the anime or game came out. If something came out in the happier times of 2007, that anime or game counts! Let’s get at it!

First Fandom of 2020: Interspecies Reviewers

Did anyone expect a fan-favorite of 2020 was going to be a hentai? Did anyone have on their batshit 2020 bingo card that a hentai was going to grab everybody’s attention? At the beginning of the year, my mind was set on the Railgun sequel and Eizoken. It wasn’t until licensors, streaming sites, and TV stations in Japan dropped this series that I started to pay attention. And got immediately hooked! It’s about three men going to different brothels and reviewing their time with the ladies. And these ladies are of different species! So with every bang comes possible enlightenment, new kinks, or a night of having your dick sucked off more than humanly possible. This anime blew away all of my skepticism and first impressions right out the window. Maybe it’s because I’m a degenerate and am often curious about sexual content, but this was a guilty pleasure of mine this year.

Favorite Main Character of 2020: Moroha from Yashahime

I know the majority of this story is going to revolve around Towa and Setsuna, but can we please focus a little more energy on the spunky, quarter-demon girl?! I know they’re pitting Moroha as the comic relief, but I’m hopeful that she’s going to surprise us one day. We fans of InuYasha would spend the past decade and some change wondering what InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter would be like. This year, we got our answer with Moroha. She’s got this wild side to her, probably due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life on her own. And while she’s silly at times, she can get down to business in a pinch. She has her father’s sense of smell. She has a sword. She’s able to shoot sacred arrows much like her mother. And to top it all off, she has this special rouge that if she puts it on, she’s able to unleash that ¼ demon power inside her and become Beniyasha! Yeah, I know the power only lasts a minute, she’s only 14, give her a break! I will gladly go through another week scratching my head at the confusion this story gives me if I get to see one more second of Moroha and her crazy antics or her bad-ass slaying.

Favorite Villain of 2020: The Devil Believers from Black Clover

This was one hell of a year for Black Clover. It would have been an easy choice to pick the devil and possible super devil that appeared during the elf fight. But I’d like to give a nod to the filler arc villains. And you can’t blame this group for wanting the power of the devil. They’re literally the bottom-rung of the Clover Kingdom and ones with little to no power or mana. So I can agree with why they would want the power of the devil. For one thing, they’d have more power. And for another thing, they’d be able to exact revenge on those who have wronged them. On some occasions I agree with exacting revenge and when it comes to the nobles and some characters in Black Clover, some folks do deserve death. I mean, have you met the king of the Clover Kingdom? Plus, this town and many other poorer towns get looked over by the kingdom. Peasant uprise! Anyways, I thought these people were really crafty in their crimes. I mean, they were able to knock Asta out on his ass with specially made poisons. I was actually hooked to this story of Black Clover (despite it being a filler arc). I know we’ll never see them again as they have been exiled, but it did have me semi-rooting for them.

Favorite Video Game Character of 2020: Honey from Pokemon – Sword & Shield (Expansion Pass)

Sorry Raymond from Animal Crossing!

Honey is the saucy wife of Mustard…I did not expect that to come out the way it did, but here we are! She has one hell of a team you can fight once a day. She looks out for her husband, the dojo, and the students of the dojo like they were her own children by providing food, drinks, and others. However that does come at a price as you do have to give up a sizable chunk of your watts that you collect in raid dens. I’m sure a bunch of MILF chasers were more than happy enough to give her all their hard-earned watts just so they can have their one-on-one moment on the beach with Honey.

What won me over was when that one guy from a rival dojo bad-mouthed her husband’s dojo and she…I think she kicked this guy’s ass herself. I don’t think she used any of her pokemon. Game Freak won’t show it, but we all know she kicked this guy’s ass to a point where he’s begging for mercy.

Honey, for the win!

Favorite Game of 2020: Animal Crossing New Horizons

This game was just Zen for me. I know the release of this game came with some controversy like Gamestop saying it’s an essential business and will remain open for people to get their copies of the game. Hell, I was one of those assholes in line waiting to get a copy on March 20th. Did I predict that a pandemic was going to rage out of control when I got a prepay copy of this for Christmas 2019? NO! I only predict political things, not deadly pandemics! The good news, we social distanced, didn’t catch the covid and got the game.

Anyways, this game has been a non-stop calming and fun ride. I can even forgive their botch-up of Bunny Day. They even have events for holidays I never thought they would ever touch. I mean, does anybody know when Museum Day is? Probably not until Animal Crossing had an event for it! I’ve been able to let my freak-flag fly with designing my island. And this goes way beyond New Leaf for the 3DS. I can make a sign post with the words “Fuck Trump” on it and post it in my yard. I can dig up trees and plant them elsewhere. I can poop in a toilet. I can craft furniture and put my own design on it. My furniture can have Tracey Sketchit’s beautiful mug on it. I can sit on Tracey Sketchit’s face. I am a sick fuck and I don’t care. I can give Raymond and Bob maid outfits. Magical time in my game! My hopes for next year…I don’t know, get the Festivale furniture, get Papi and Olivia to join my island, maybe visit Danny Trejo’s island, who knows, sky’s da limit!

Favorite Het Couple of 2020: Nasa and Tsukasa Yuzaki from Tonikawa

This is one of the most unorthodox marriages I’ve ever seen. But in this 90 Day Fiance world we’re living in, I shouldn’t pass judgement on these two getting married in episode one and not knowing much about each other. Nasa meets Tsukasa as he was about to be plowed by a truck. Tsukasa saves his life. Nasa says she’s beautiful. Tsukasa says she’ll be his girlfriend if they get married. He agrees. She disappears. Four years later, Tsukasa appears in front of Nasa’s front door with a marriage registration form. Congratulations buddy, you’ve got yourself a waifu! In some way, this felt like watching Yamato and Takeo from My Love Story. I was fascinated with them progressing through their relationship. The only difference is that Yamato and Takeo took the old-fashioned route. This couple did everything ass-backwards in terms of having a relationship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off Nasa and Tsukasa’s relationship during each episode. I find them cute.

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2020: Karin Asaka x Emma Verde from Love Live Nijigasaki High School Idol Club

AAAAAAAAAH! I’M IN IDOL HELL AGAIN! Yeah, no kidding! I came this close to putting Miu x Nicole from that abomination 22/7. But thank God for Love Live! There’s no telling if any of the girls from the Love Live franchise are confirmed to be lesbians. But fuck it, all of them attend all-girl schools, no males exist anywhere, and Sunshine gave us Kanan x Mari! Yeah, you know Kanan and Mari is canon as fuck, don’t at me. So naturally, I found more third-years to ship in the new Love Live series. Now I know I should have put up Ai x Rina or Ayumu x Yuu. Especially the latter due to recent events! But Emma x Karin is my OTP.

Now Emma is an exchange student from Switzerland and in coming to Nijigasaki, she first meets Karin and they became instant friends. When Emma said she wants to become an idol, Karin helped her quite a bit. Even though Karin had no interest in being an idol as her modeling career is starting up, Karin would occasionally help Emma out. And surprise, surprise, Karin ends up fascinated with the idol world and Emma helps her come to the light to be herself there. Okay, I’m totally reading this in some fragmented way, but I’m currently playing Love Live School Idol Festival All Stars and the app game has a lot more stuff involving stuff the anime has yet to talk about. Confirmed or not, Karin x Emma for the win!

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2020: Eiji Okumura x Ash Lynx from Banana Fish

It took me a while to get here, but I finally made it to 2018’s overlooked gem. Forgive me for not being fully caught up, but from what I’m watching at the moment, I’m sticking to my guns and supporting the hell out of this. I mean, I could have mentioned The Titan’s Bride here…but fuck no, I ain’t goin’ down that mess! Ash has gone through a lot, I mean a helluva lot in his past. His cute boy looks have made him a target on the streets of New York, with mafia dons, and with prison inmates. But dude can kill if you mess with him. Then you have Eiji, who is just a literal example of a “pure cinnamon roll (until episode 8)”. These two are as opposite as you can possibly get. Ash is from New York and Eiji is from Japan. Ash likes hot dogs with everything on it. Eiji likes grilled fish and natto. Ash spent the majority of his life killing on the streets. Eiji was a track superstar. You get my meaning. But when we got these two together it’s quite adorable. Ash is really able to change when he’s around Eiji. Ash isn’t some heartless killer on the street about to kill a thug with prosthetic fingers. When he’s with Eiji, he’s a joker that can easily get scared of pumpkins. And even in later episodes, you got these two acting like a husband and wife.

Fandom That You Didn’t Expect to Get Into: Les Miserables – A Girl Named Cosette

Let me explain a little something. Les Mis! I have never seen the play, watched the movie, or read the novel prior to picking up this anime. Not a single one of those! And that’s a bit of a head-scratcher when you realize I was a bit of a musical theater nut in my teenage years. But one thing I do like is when Japan does an anime based on plays or historical events (like Romeo x Juliet or Rose of Versailles). The second I popped in Les Miserables the anime, I wanted to binge watch the whole 52 episode series. It is by no means a perfect adaptation of the Victor Hugo novel. Several key players end up surviving all the way up to the end of the story! But because this was my very first viewing of anything Les Mis, I took to the story of Cosette and was eager to see what was going to happen next in her tale. Unlike the movies and play, Cosette was the main focus of the story besides Jean Valjean and Javert. And thanks to watching the unfortunate stories of Cosette, Jean Valjean, the Thenadiers, Javert, Marius, and the rest, I thought it was time to watch the OTHER adaptations to Les Mis.

…

Russell Crowe sucks.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback: Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni

Higurashi or When They Cry is one of my favorite fandoms of all time! So naturally when we heard that it was making a comeback, I was excited. It was also very odd that Higurashi was given this sequel or reboot. Ahem! There’s another franchise that needs a face-lift. Umineko still deserves a better treatment. Plus, now that this series was out of the faulty hands of Studio Deen, Higurashi will get the special care it deserves. Believe it or not, it wasn’t just the anime that made a comeback for me, but the manga as well. Since 2009, I’ve read several volumes (out of order) and would every now and then come back to read the story. Back to the anime, this reboot or sequel…you know what, I’m gonna call it a “rebooqual”! This rebooqual sucked me back to the town of Hinamizawa and all the murders. Every week, I find myself comparing the current episode to one from the 2006 version. But then the fourth episode of each arc seems to catch me off guard.

Where are they going with this story and these twist endings to our favorite arcs? I did not expect Rena to turn a simple attempted murder into the end of School Days! I didn’t expect Rika to die in the most disgusting fashion they could think of. Could someone kill Teppei fucking Hojo? I will pay ¥5000 for someone to do that job. So yeah, because I know how much of this plays out and who does what, I’m usually watching and reading while making wise-ass remarks. But I still have fun with it.

Fandom That Inspired the Most Crack: Konosuba

In a year where I caught up with the popular Isekais like Shield Hero and Re:Zero, I found the wacky misadventures of Kazuma Satou to be amusing as all get-out. From the first 5 minutes, I found myself laughing at Kazuma’s misfortune. Seriously, how the fuck do you mistake a tractor for a car, have a heart attack, piss yourself, and fucking die in the first couple minutes to the series? You can only get away with this shit in gag animes! But it’s not just Kazuma’s dumbass, there’s a mage who only does explosions, but loses all her energy after one blow-up. Then there’s a busty, blonde who gets turned on by getting hurt and can’t strike anything with her sword. Anime’s biggest masochist or Cheryl Tunt incarnate, I haven’t decided which one to believe! Then you have this loud, crazy goddess chick named Aqua. She’s also useless about 86% of the time! Watching their unfortunate missions is all the crack that I need to get through this year. Seriously, Darkness is just all kinds of fucked up, but we love her.

Last Fandom of 2020: Yashahime

That’s right, the InuYasha sequel gets top spot here! Even though week after week I find myself asking more questions than when the episode started, I’m still hooked. If you’re like me, you watched and fell in love with the series InuYasha. So if they’re doing a sequel, you’re expecting to see all of your favorite characters from the prequel like InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Sesshomaru, Koga, Rin, and the rest. Actually, no! Quite the opposite! We’ve got Sesshomaru’s daughters, but no Sesshomaru. Rin is sleeping in a tree we think! We’ve got InuYasha and Kagome’s daughter, but they’re M.I.A. None of the girls even know a thing about their birth parents.

Now are these new characters a catch like the ones from the previous series? Some are! The three main girls, yes! Especially Moroha! I’ve already praised her name earlier in the superlative. Towa and Setsuna do take on some personality traits from their parents. Setsuna is definitely serious like Sesshomaru and Towa sometimes has a carefree yet loyal aura to her like Rin. I know I’m always skeptical when a series gives us a sequel featuring the offspring of the main characters. Especially when you’ve got some lame examples like Boruto and Eureka Seven AO (I might retract my diss on Boruto later)! As each week gives us a new episode, we’re unraveling new clues into a lot of things involving our old favorite characters, as well as the new ones. So I have high hopes for Yashahime for the time being!