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kitty-tea · 1 year ago

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Like father, like son

Part 2 @xcinnamonmalfoyx

(Read part 1 part 3)

(Link to masterlist)

Summary: After the drastic event in you, James, and Harry’s lives, things aren’t the same, but that still doesn’t dull your attraction towards James. In fact, the more time you spend apart from him, the more you can’t stop thinking about him.

A/n: Hi welcome to part 2! This turned out to be way longer than I intended.

Pairing: dilf!James Potter x reader

NSFW 18+ only!

Word count: 5k

Tags/warnings: super long, porn with plot, sexual content, nsfw, masturbation, sex dream, pet names, age gap, reader is of age, James lives, death, angst, fluff, not canon complacent, slow burn, conflicting feelings, sexual frustration, guilt, James is a dilf

The day came for you to say goodbye to Harry. It was also the day Molly and Arthur would pick you so you could move into their house during the school year since the older children had moved out and they could use an extra pair of hands around the house.

Before the train left, you, Harry, and his parents met up with Hermione and the Weasleys. You thought of how glad you were to see them again as you gave each one of them a hug. Ginny had grown taller, Ron had grown stronger, Hermione was still smart as ever, and the twins were still the same goofballs you had graduated with.

You thought it was unusual that Harry gave you an even bigger hug than he did to his parents.

“You alright there?” You asked him.

“I’ll miss you, you know.” He said. “It’ll be my first year without you.”

“Hey, what about us?!” Fred and George’s voices came from behind you, making you jump.

“He’ll get over it.” You turned to them and waved your hand in front of you. “And he was talking to me.” You rolled your eyes playfully.

“Sure he was.” You could practically hear the smirk in Fred’s voice.

“Who wouldn’t miss their big sister?” Same with George’s.

“Don’t you guys know you’re embarrassing him?” Hermione joined in on the conversation.

She was right. You looked in Harry’s direction, where you were greeted by his blushing face.

Why did it seem like they all knew something about Harry that you didn’t?

“Everything will be alright, Harry. We’ll write to each other.” You gave him a reassuring smile and rubbed his back in an attempt to soothe the redness in his cheeks, but that apparently only made it worse.

“I’m sure he’ll be writing to her more than to his parents.” You heard one of the twins whisper to the other one.

You had an easy time distracting yourself from the grief of your parent’s deaths and your forbidden attraction towards James. There was never a boring day in the Burrow. You were always doing something with Molly and Arthur whether it was training, helping out in the garden, cleaning and cooking, or helping the both of them host Order meetings in their house. Other times, you were writing back and forth to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. In his latest letter, Harry had written that he had become the captain of the Quidditch team, and Ron became the Keeper, both of whom you congratulated in your subsequent letters.

The Order meetings were something you dreaded as much as you looked forward to because it was when you’d be forced to be in the same room as James and Lily, whom you hoped wouldn’t suspect you of having a crush on her husband.

You weren’t expecting to embarrass yourself when you came downstairs wearing Percy’s old sleepwear. In the living room was every adult member of the Order you’ve met so far. Not every member showed up to every meeting, so this was a surprise for you.

You saw Remus and Tonks sharing a seat on an oversized armchair big enough to fit both of them while her parents were standing nearby, talking to them. The younger Tonks was the first person to see you as she gave you a goofy grin and waved at you. Next to the pair, the twins were standing next to each other in their own side conversation. Sirius, James, and Lily were at the dining table. Across the room, there was Mundungus Fletcher looking at a shelf of magical artifacts as if they were the most interesting things in the world, and Alastor Moody stood next to him, as if he were making sure he didn’t steal anything. You thought you saw Molly throw a disgusted look towards Fleur Delacour who was talking to Bill and Charlie.

“What’re you all doing here?” You asked groggily.

“Time for you to go back to bed, young lady.” You heard Sirius say.

“What’s going on?” You ignored him.

You then noticed everyone looking at each other back and forth, making you feel awkward.

“Make sure she doesn’t find out.” Tonks was whispering and you saw Remus and Sirius roll their eyes at her inability to keep her mouth shut.

“Find out about what?” You looked at Tonks straight in the eyes.

“Nice one, Tonks. Now she’s going to find out.” Fred elbowed her.

“At least it’s not us getting in trouble this time.” George whispered to his brother.

“Will someone tell me what’s happening?” You demanded the now silent crowd.

“It’s about Dumbledore.” Alastor Moody was the one to get straight to the point.

“We think there’s a plot to assassinate him.” Remus said reluctantly.

“You think?” You raised your eyebrows at him. “What evidence is there? Who brought this up?”

“We got a letter from one of the students.” Sirius said, looking towards his two companions at the table. “It was discovered that Draco Malfoy had been the one planning it. Voldemort had tasked him over the summer. There were other unsuccessful attempts-”

“What student?” You interrupted him.

“That’s not important.” James said.

“Harry followed Malfoy into the bathroom and interrogated him after he overheard Snape scolding him about how he was supposed to poison Dumbledore, not Ron.” As fast as Tonks had blurred out the story, everyone else glared at her.

“Oops.” She whispered meekly.

“You’re going to save Dumbledore right?” You asked everyone, making sure to look them all in the eye. They all gave each other that look that implied they were planning something that excluded you.

“We can’t let you come with us.” Arthur said.

“Why not?” You asked him.

He didn’t let any emotion show on his face.

“There will be Death Eaters trying to get into the school. If they see you, you’ll be in even more danger. They’re already looking for you.” With a deep breath he added, “Especially because they failed to find you and kill you after they did to your parents. Or worse… Make you join them. I’m so sorry.”

“You mean all this time they were looking for me?” You were shocked at Arthur’s revelation. “That’s why you kept shuffling me around different homes this past year. Because you were hiding me without me knowing.” It was all starting to make sense.

“Arthur, that’s enough you’ve upset her.” You must’ve looked like you were about to vomit because Molly came over to you and put an arm around your shoulder.

“Come on, Dear. Let’s get you upstairs. I’ll make you a cup of tea.” She said to you.

“I’m going.” You said boldly.

“No you are not.” James slammed his hand on the table as he stood up.

“If they’re looking for me, let them find me. I don’t want to hide. I want to be a part of something that makes a difference. Isn’t that what it means to be a member of the Order of the Phoenix?” You shrugged off Molly’s hand from your shoulder.

“Hogwarts Express leaves in two hours.” Moody said.

“Alastor! No!” Molly yelled in a threatening tone like she was dealing with the twins.

“She has a point. If she wants to prove she’s capable of handling herself, let her. I trust her.” You were thankful at least someone knew the right way to treat you like an adult.

You could tell no one in the room was happy with what Moody had to say even if he did have a point.

James couldn’t stop bouncing his leg against his seat. The countless possible outcomes of what could happen to you ran through his mind faster than the train was running. He felt Lily’s hand patting his thigh, as if trying to soothe him.

“I remember my first time riding this train.” She smiled, looking out at the mountains.

James scoffed. “So do I. That’s when I first met you. And Snivellus. You know we’ll see him right? He works there.”

“Come on, James. He’s changed just as much as you did.”

“From what Harry’s told us about him, I know he’s changed from a bitter teenage boy to a bitter teacher.”

“It’ll be alright, you don’t have to be overly friendly with him if you do see him.” James felt comforted as she put her hand on his.

The scenery zooming past the window did nothing to soothe the nauseous feeling inside your stomach that had been there since the morning. One thing you were grateful for was that you were alone in the compartment. You didn’t want anyone else to see you like this, all huddled up with your knees to your chest, looking like a nervous wreck. You didn’t want the others to regret their decision to bring you along. You were starting to second guess yourself. Maybe you should’ve listened to James and Arthur by staying at the Burrow.

You tapped your finger against the handle of your wand that was tucked into your boot. You then moved onto fiddling with the laces of your dress, (the one that Sirius dug out from his mother’s closet.) You had to busy yourself with anything to get your mind off your anxiety.

You were a Gryffindor. It was your job to be brave, you reminded yourself as you let yourself doze off.

You awoke to a knock on the window of your compartment door. You sat up and rubbed your eyes as the faces of Moody and Tonks came into focus.

You opened the door to let them in.

“Good evening, Sleepyhead.” Tonks greeted you, alerting you that it was in fact evening already and that you’d be arriving in Hogsmeade soon.

“Now, you listen to me.” Moody said, as he let his staff bang on the floor in front of him before he and Tonks took a seat in front of you. “I trust you enough to come with us. Tonks and I both think you’re ready.”

You looked at Tonks, who gave you one of her goofy smiles and a thumbs up.

“The problem is,” Moody continued with a frown. “The others underestimate you. They can’t keep coddling you.”

“Don’t worry.” Tonks gave you a reassuring smile. “I remember my first mission with the Order. I was just as nervous as you are.”

“Don’t, under any circumstances, separate from anyone in the group.” Moody said to you gruffly. “Are we clear? You can’t be seen alone by a Death Eater.”

“Yes sir.” You said.

As soon as all of you got off the train, you looked at each other, sensing a more sinister presence across the Black Lake looming over the school.

“They're here already.” Sirius said grimly.

“How? We know the teachers put up protection charms around the school to keep out the Death Eaters.” James said.

“I don’t know, James.” Sirius shrugged. “But we need to get there quickly.”

All of you then rushed to where the carriages were. You looked on sadly as you saw James sitting next to Lily with Remus and Sirius across from them.

You shivered in your dress as you got onto the carriage with Tonks and Moody.

“I know what you’re thinking…” Tonks caught you off guard when she winked at you.

“Excuse me?” You looked to Moody for clarification, but it seemed he was just as confused as you were.

“Don’t pretend like I don’t know what you’re thinking. I went through the same thing with Remus.”

Your eyes widened and you blushed as it then clicked in your brain what she meant. Moody looked on to the side of the carriage, completely ignoring you two.

“There’s no need to feel bad even though he’s married.”

“What?!” You loudly whispered as you covered your mouth. You looked at your two companions feeling embarrassed.

“Moody’s been around too long to not know how to keep secrets and ignore them.” Tonks said nonchalantly.

You felt disturbed that she was able to read you so openly. If she was able to do it, you’d hate to imagine what the others might pick up on from you.

“I know you.” Tonks went on. You wanted to tell her to shut up as much as you wanted her to keep talking. “You’re too innocent to want to hurt Lily. That’s why you’ve never said anything. Don’t be scared of your feelings as long as you don’t act on them.”

“Yeah, I won’t.” You scoffed, more to yourself.

“Then you haven’t got anything to worry about.” She said a little too cheerfully.

“Oh… thanks?” You didn’t know what else to say about her awkward, but well-intentioned attempt at giving you advice.

As you got to the school, your nerves didn’t calm down one bit. In fact, they seemed to multiply. Heeding Moody’s advice, you tried to stay as close to everyone, but you somehow found yourself alone in the familiar dark corridors. You lost track of time, trying your best to hide from any Death Eaters roaming the castle along with the screaming students running for their lives.

You thought you had lost everyone when you heard a voice softly call out your name.

You turned around to the sight of Harry running towards you. He was wearing jeans and a hoodie. You felt tears threaten to escape you. You were so glad you found someone you were familiar with amongst all this chaos.

“Harry, what is it?” You asked frantically.

“It’s Voldemort! He and the Death Eaters got into the castle and now they're battling with the Order in the Astronomy Tower!” He answered you just as frantically. He was also out of breath. “Dumbledore told me to run. And then, my parents told me to go and find you.”

“I’m so happy you’re alright.” You hugged Harry just as tightly as he hugged you. “Where are the other students?”

“Fred and George are helping the Prefects make sure everyone else gets to their common rooms.” He said.

“I have to go help your parents and the others!” You suddenly let go of him.

“Dad told me to get you to the Gryffindor common room where he thinks you’ll be safe.” Harry contradicted.

“I told your dad and the rest of the Order that I’m not hiding.” You contradicted him back. “I’m going to help. Are you coming with me?” You took out your wand from inside your boot.

Harry sighed. “Alright, then.”

Seeing as how Harry was almost as short as you, you had no trouble keeping up with each other’s footsteps as you ran through the castle and up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower. The first person whose eyes you caught were James’. He was in a duel with Professor Snape, who if you looked closely, was deflecting James’ attacks at the Death Eaters next to him. You knew Snape was a powerful wizard, so there was no way he’d do this unintentionally. It was strange to you, but you didn’t question it out loud.

“Kids! Get out of here!” James yelled at you and Harry, which made Snape turn his eyes towards you.

“I’m not leaving without a fight!” You yelled back through the sounds of other screaming wizards around you.

“Stop it! This isn’t the time to try to act like a brave little Gryffindor! You’ll only get hurt! Harry, I told you to make sure she gets to the common room with the other students!” James was out of breath as much as Snape was. You were just as thankful as you were confused as to why Snape didn’t try to attack you and Harry.

“No, Dad. She didn’t want to go. And I’m with her!” Harry exclaimed cofindently. “I’m not leaving without a fight either.” You both gave each other a nod.

For the first time since entering the tower, you took a full glance at your surroundings.

Tonks and her parents were fighting against two witches you recognized as Bellatrix Lestrange and her younger sister Narcissa Malfoy, who looked like she didn’t want to be there, with the eldest of the three sisters repeatedly throwing insults at the middle one, along the lines of “blood-traitor” or “mud-blood lover.” If it weren’t for the wands, it would’ve looked like a typical family argument.

You then saw Fleur, Bill, and Charlie try with their combined strengths to fend off the wolfish attacks of Fenrir Greyback, whom you knew as the one responsible for turning Remus into what he had become. If he was no weaker than three grown wizards combined, you’d hate to see what he’d be capable of in his full wolf form.

The two most powerful wizards in the room however, were Dumbledore and Voldemort, who instead of exchanging words and attacks, put all their energy into a clash of light, daring each other to let go and give into the exhaustion.

It was Dumbledore who gave in, as Voldemort’s blast hit him and sent him to the ground. Dumbledore may have been old, but his speed at getting up was rivaled to that of someone your age.

You saw Voldemort whip his head around to find a new target, you and Harry. He shot a non-verbal attack at you, and with you and Harry’s combined strengths, were able to block it.

You saw James let go of his mission of attacking Snape as he turned to the three of you, and before Voldemort could get a look at him, he pushed him to the ground.

“I told you two to get out!” James yelled angrily.

Using the strength of both hands, Voldemort grabbed James by the collar of his shirt, and tugged him off before pulled him up to eye-level.

“James Potter…” He sneered, as James clenched his teeth, keeping eye contact with him. “Just as weak as the day I tried to kill you all those years ago.”

James grabbed his wrist and pried them off of him, but not before spitting in his face.

“You are not scaring me!” He yelled over the sound of Voldemort’s cackling.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Snape standing all alone, everyone else too distracted by fighting each other to notice him, but not you and Harry.

Snape aimed his wand at Dumbledore, and you heard the spell being used for the first time.

“Avada Kedavra.” He didn’t sound angry, just sad, like he knew he had to do this and was dreading it. You guessed that with all of Malfoy’s failed assassination attempts, Snape decided to take matters into his own hands.

Except it didn’t hit Dumbledore because Lily pushed him back to the ground, making the blast hit her instead.

The entire battle stopped, and everyone put down their wands.

“Lily! No!” James turned his attention to Lily from Voldemort, who looked like a child watching fireworks on New Year’s.

Harry was being held back by Remus from attempting to lung out at Snape and get himself hurt, you assumed. The only things that came out of Harry were tears and a scream, no words.

You heard Bellatrix’s cackle as she was the first Death Eater to fly away from the observation deck, not without a goodbye.

“Until next time, little sister!” Her maniacal laughter faded along with her. Narcissa pushed past her niece as she wordlessly sprinted down the stairs, probably to go find Draco.

After the other Death Eaters flew away, Voldemort disapparated along with his maniacal laughter that was deeper than Bellatrix’s. Snape was the only Death Eater who remained.

It was James who threw a punch at Snape, but all he did was stand there without a word, letting James use him as a punching bag a couple more times.

“I was right about you! You are still the same terrible person I went to school with! Lily tried convincing me you’ve changed! She was your friend! I can’t believe she ever chose to be your friend! You never deserved her in your life! You will never be worthy enough to have someone like her in your life!” With each sentence that ripped out of him, James’ punches towards Snape became more potent until there was a faint line of blood coming out of his mouth.

“Fight back, you coward!” Was the last thing James yelled before letting his fist drop to look at the forming bruises on his knuckles.

Dumbledore was silent as he came over to James, and put an arm around the crying man’s shoulders.

He gently pulled him away, and whispered, “I’ll apparate her body back to Godric’s Hollow. Make sure you and the others regroup at your home. I’ll meet you there.”

James held his head up, revealing his tears to everyone. He nodded at Dumbledore’s order.

There were bouquets of Lilies everywhere in James’ living room. The number of flowers had greatly outnumbered the people. He couldn’t have known that during the moment Lily was talking about her first train ride to Hogwarts, it would also be her last train ride to Hogwarts. It was like a twisted circle of life, is how James saw it.

Then there was you and Harry. You had lost two parents, gained multiple parental figures, and lost one of them in the span of a year. Harry had never seen someone die before, and it was even worse that the first death he witnessed was his own mother.

He saw you and Harry sitting on the couch together. Your arm was around his shoulder, and he was sobbing his heart out. People used to tell James that boys don’t cry and they should feel shame for showing such a vulnerable emotion in public, but at that moment, James felt proud of his son for having the courage to show his emotions in public, and proud of you for being a good supportive friend to his son.

The rest of the wake went by in a blur, the only other vivid thing James remembered being Dumbledore giving a small speech about Lily’s life before inviting whomever to give their own speeches about her.

This was the last day James would be in close proximity with you for a very long time.

Life went on, but you never stopped thinking about James. After saving up your money, Sirius helped you find a flat in London while Arthur was finally convinced to arrange for you to begin your training as an Auror under the mentorship of Kingsley Shacklebolt. Being as busy as you were, you stopped showing up to the Order meetings even though you received every invitation Arthur had sent you.

Although you were new in the Ministry, Kingsley still held you to the same standards and expectations as he did with the older employees. That only made you more eager to prove yourself which led to you being satisfied with the outcome of your hard work.

That didn’t mean you were any less grateful for the Potters, Weasleys, Sirius, and other members of the Order for helping to shape you into who you had become. You would never stop being grateful towards Lily for everything she had done for you over the past year you’d known each other. You felt that your gratefulness towards Lily and the sadness you felt for her death made you even more guilty of still having that same attraction you had towards James.

You still thought about him every night before you went to bed. Every time you thought about your memories with him while you were in bed, you would experience a dull ache between your thighs that didn’t go away unless you used your fingers, your hairbrush, or even your pillow to rub in that specific spot to relieve it.

Still wearing your camisole and your panties, you tried to drift off to sleep, but once again, your mind imagined that instead of you being by yourself, that James was next to you. It was summer which meant it was way too hot for you to put a blanket over yourself.

Your head started to feel hazy as your fingers traced over your lips, imagining a kiss with James. The knuckles of your other hand found themselves brushing from the back of your ear to your neck, where you remembered James had brushed a strand of your hair behind it during that training session.

There was no denying that jolt of pleasure that ran through you for a split second as his finger accidentally grazed along the seam of your shorts that covered your pussy. As if having your pussy lips being touched wasn’t enough, you had even felt the pressure of his finger on the sensitive little nub just above it. Just imagining his fingers being there again made that ache between your thighs burn even more.

You let your fingertips trail from your lips to your neck before going over the hardened peak of one of your nipples. You gasped at the pleasurable sensation you brought onto yourself. You continued to softly rub your finger over your nipple, then squeezing your breast, alternating between the two actions. The fingers of your other hand then went over the goosebumps covering your stomach before tracing over the lace trim of your panties. Your fingers were so close to circling over your clit and your inner lips which were so swollen from all the blood rushing to them that just the lightest pressure of anything against the thin material covering them would make you explode.

“Well, aren’t you a filthy little girl.” You suddenly heard a deep voice from the corner of the room, and you could see the shiny outline of a pair of glasses. You felt your cheeks reddening as you pulled your fingers away from yourself, embarrassed at being caught in such a private moment.

“James?” You gasped, sitting up, your hair falling to your face.

“You were thinking about me weren’t you?” His features started to morph into clarity.

“How…?” The next thing you knew, you looked down, and your camisole and panties were gone as you were laying down on your bed without anything to cover you.

You tried to move your limbs, but it was as if there was an invisible rope binding them onto your mattress. You looked up, and gasped to see James also wasn’t wearing anything either. He had taken his position in front of your bed, standing in front of it, and he was stroking himself. You were mesmerized by the way his hand slid up and down his hard shaft and the grunts that would come out of his mouth at every other stroke.

“Oh, James. I want your delicious cock! I can’t stop thinking about you!”

You were unable to control your mouth as you found yourself moaning those sentences out loud. You gasped, feeling mortified.

“Aww…” James frowned, feigning empathy. “You poor little slut. You couldn’t help yourself could you? Having all these filthy thoughts about me while I was married. You were a good girl, holding yourself back. But now you feel free don’t you? Free to take me? You’re ready to be a little slut.”

“Please! I’m sorry!” You couldn’t believe he would insinuate something like that. You had not once dared to feel happy about Lily’s death and claim James all for yourself. You would’ve hurt your friendship with Harry, and you would’ve been guilty of feeling like you were replacing his mother.

“You’ve been such a good little girl. Don’t you just want to give in?” James brushed his thumb over your bottom lip. It was as if there was something controlling you, making you unable to resist sucking on his thumb.

You looked into his eyes as he was smirking. He pulled out his thumb with a plop.

“I promise you, it’ll feel really good.” You shivered as he caressed your cheek. “I know that I’m hungry to feast on that delicious looking pussy you’re showing me.”

“Make me feel good, James!” You screamed, and you felt his warm tongue slide up along your inner lips before taking one of them in his mouth and sucking on it.

You released a loud moan that was straight out of those Muggle porno films you had found stashed in Sirius’ home that you watched without his knowledge.

His lips let go of your pussy before he moved onto your face. There, you found yourselves with your lips locked onto each other’s.

You didn’t understand what was happening as you felt like James’ lips were on every sensitive area of your body when his face was right in front of you. You felt a warm, wet sucking sensation on both of your nipples, making you arch your back and moan into his mouth.

Before you knew it, you felt his cock probing at your entrance. You stayed in your position, panting and moaning around him, overwhelmed and drunk on the pleasure he was feeding you. There was tension that started to build inside your core which began to build more and more pressure inside of you.

You were about to scream as you opened your eyes and were greeted by the sight of your bedroom which was empty of anybody else besides you. You were left with disappointment at the orgasm that died down inside of you with your waking breath.

You gasped at the familiar ache between your thighs accompanied by a warm wetness inside your panties.

If you couldn’t finish the job in your dream, you could at least do yourself a favor by doing whatever you could do to pleasure yourself.

You pushed the feeling of guilt that had come up in your dream to the back of your mind while your fingers found their way inside your panties.

You were so wet from your dream last night that it was easy for your finger to frantically slide up, down, and between your inner lips. You felt a wave of pleasure crash over you immediately as your middle finger applied the right amount of pressure on your clit while rubbing it. You came inside your panties while moaning and screaming James’ name.

As fast as your orgasm wore off, guilt took the place of pleasure. Tears started to form in your eyes at the realization of what you had done. Maybe you were the filthy slut that James from your dreams said you were.

#james potter fanfiction #james potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #fanfic #reader insert #fem!reader #harry potter #hp fandom #hp fanfic #dilf x reader #james potter x you #au fanfiction #smutty fanfiction #multiple part series #marauders #hp marauders

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penumbra-mayhem · 3 months ago

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And All That Follows (ch. 1)

aka: Let's Mitigate This Blast Radius Before It Gets Out of Hand

Alpha Gabriel Shaw dies and everything falls apart.

Ch. 2 // ao3 // 1.9k words

(TW: death, car accident, grief)

EDITS: small grammar stuff, formatting, and new title (formerly known as The Fall of an Alpha, but i hated that name so i chose a new one)

———————————————

Sept 3. 2017, 11:04 pm

Between the raging storm outside and the blaring tv in front of them, they barely heard the knock at the door. It was only on the second attempt did they notice, and even then it could have easily been dismissed as thunder.

Milo gave David and Asher confused glances. “You guys expecting anyone?”

David shook his head. Asher shrugged; he paused the game and tossed his controller behind him as he said, “I’ll get it.”

Milo stretched out in the newly available couch space, calling out, “Could you get more chips while you’re up? We’re almost out.”

“Get them yourself!” Asher retorted as he padded down the hallway, “Unless you’re too short to reach!”

“Oh fuck right off!”

Asher chuckled as he reached the front door. He didn’t bother looking through the peephole before answering, but as soon as he saw who it was, he wished he had. It would’ve given him a moment to steel himself.

An officer was standing in the hallway, her dripping face starkly grim. Asher recognized her as a shifter from a neighboring pack.

“Evening. Beta David Shaw lives here, yes?” she asked.

Asher tightened his grip on the door handle. “Uh...yeah, he’s um my roommate.”

“Is he here now?”

“Can I uh, ask what this is about?” Asher replied, his voice cracking slightly.

“There’s been an accident.”

It felt like the ground gave out from underneath him. Like a blast of thunder had gone off in his chest.

“Hey, Ash, who is it?” David called from the living room.

Asher ignored him. “Gabe?” he whispered, eyes wide.

She gave him a small nod.

“Is he…just tell me, is he dead?”

She shifted her weight uneasily before nodding. “Yes.”

“Come in.”

He moved aside to let her in, closing the door behind them. “He’s uh, he’s in the…um...follow me,” Asher said breathlessly. His feet were like bricks as he led the officer down the hallway.

Milo and David looked up to see a very pale Asher hurry across the living room and practically cower in the corner.

“Who was…” the words died in David’s mouth as he and Milo looked over at the officer standing in the doorway to the living room, rainwater trickling down her coat and pooling at her feet.

David stood, an edge of authority in his voice as he spoke, “Officer. What can I do for you?”

“Beta Shaw, please, have a seat,” she replied.

He stayed standing. “What’s going on?”

“David…” Asher pleaded.

David’s eyes shot over and met Asher’s—they were already red and glassy. He lowered himself back onto the couch, then looked over at the officer as dread climbed into his chest.

She stepped forward, her voice stern but not unkind, “Beta Shaw. About forty-five minutes ago, Alpha Gabriel Shaw was in a car accident. He died on the scene.”

David had never really known grief before. Sure, his mom had died, but he had been too young to really know what was going on. A few distant relatives and pets had died over the years, too, but none of that had seemed to really affect him. The deaths of his grandparents had been sad, but not debilitatingly so. He'd begun to think that maybe death just didn't affect him that way. He thought maybe he just wasn't built to grieve.

It was instantaneous. It felt like shifting—a full and all-encompassing transformation. Grief ran like magic through his bones, warping his core and leaving him unrecognizable. Those in the room felt it—Asher especially. He almost reached out, almost said something, but David was already talking, his voice cavernous:

"Thank you, officer, for informing me of the situation. Where is his body now?"

The officer blinked in surprise, but quickly composed herself. "The coroner has taken him to the nearest morgue."

"I assume they'll want me there to confirm his identity?"

"Yes, but you don't have to go imme—"

"Can you take me?"

She furrowed her brow. "Yes, sir."

David moved to grab his coat, and Milo shot up. “David, wai—”

“Stay here, both of you. Don’t tell anyone what’s happened. I’ll call for an emergency meeting tomorrow morning,” David commanded, “I want to avoid as much panic as possible.”

And with that, he left, pushing through the doorway and into the hall. The officer took a deep breath before following.

Milo sank back down. The two heard the front door open and shut.

For a minute, they didn’t speak. The storm swelled outside, rattling the windows of the apartment. The pause music on the tv played over and over at a low volume.

Staring blankly at the wall opposite him, Milo mumbled, “We’ve gotta tell Tank.”

“We can’t. You heard David,” Asher croaked from his corner.

“David’s not in his right mind,” Milo retorted, his eyes beginning to burn, “Gabe is like a father to Tank.”

“…was,” Asher whispered.

Milo locked eyes with him, silently pleading.

"I...I'm going to the bathroom," Asher replied before hurrying down the hallway. He couldn't say yes, but he wasn't going to stop him. Especially when Milo was right. They needed to tell Tank before they heard it from anyone else or, god forbid, at the pack meeting.

Asher closed the bathroom door and leaned his weight against it as sobs tore through his body, robbing him of everything—sound, breath, strength. He slid down the length of the door to the floor in a silent, heaving heap as his mind spun.

He gave himself five minutes.

———————————————

Milo pulled out his phone, groaning in frustration as he struggled to read his screen, tears flooding his vision. He wiped his eyes with one hand as he pulled up Tank’s contact with the other.

Tank was somewhere loud; he could hear it through the phone.

“Miles, what’s up?” Tank all but shouted.

“I need you to come to Ash and David's,” Milo rasped.

“What? Wait-wait, gimme a sec,” Tank said. He could hear them pushing through a crowd, then the sound of a door opening and slamming shut, followed by the shush of rain. They must have moved outside.

“What’s going on? Are you hurt?” Tank asked.

“No I just…I need you here. Now.”

He could hear the panic in their voice. “...I can be there in twenty—no, fifteen.”

“No! Don’t speed. Please, Tank, drive slowly. It’s late, it’s raining, it’s not—” Milo held his phone away from his mouth for a second as a sob slipped out, “It’s not safe.”

Tank must’ve heard it. Their words shot out of their mouth as they strode into the rain, “Is David there? Ash? I swear, Miles, if you’re hurt and not telling me—”

“Tank, please,” Milo begged.

“Okay! Okay, I’ll be there soon.”

“…we’ll leave the door unlocked. Drive slow.”

Once they hung up, Milo put his phone on the coffee table. He bit his clenched fist as tears pooled in his eyes and his chest convulsed.

————————————————

Everything was happening too quickly; David couldn’t keep up. One minute he was getting into his car, ready to follow the cruiser in front of him to the morgue. The next, he was looking down at a shrouded body, being asked if he was ready.

Ready? Fuck no, he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for any of this. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Gabe wasn’t supposed to die suddenly, in his prime, leaving his 24-year-old son to pick up the pieces. Leaving him an orphan.

Orphan.

The word made a desert of his mouth. He was alone. Entirely. His last safety net. His last pillar of support. His last corner to hide in. Gone.

David was bare, flayed open for the world to see. He’d never felt so exposed, and it made him panic. But there was no time to panic. He was still the Pack Beta. He still had a job to do. And for as long as he could, he’d throw himself into it, fully. So David chiseled a hard look onto his face and nodded.

The sheet was pulled back.

Everyone always said David looked like his dad. He took so much pride in that comparison. But in that moment, he saw no resemblance. He didn’t have an out-of-body experience, seeing himself on the table. He didn’t spiral at the sudden realization of his own mortality spurred by the likeness of his dead father.

Because that wasn’t Alpha Gabriel Shaw, revered Founder of the Shaw Pack.

That wasn’t Gabe, loyal friend and loving father.

The body before David was just a man, battered and broken beyond repair. It felt wrong to claim this husk as his father, felt like a lie.

But David had a job to do.

“Yes, that’s him.”

————————————————

When sound returned to his body and his sobs were no longer silent, Asher muzzled them with a frantic hand. He couldn’t let Milo hear. He had to be there for him. Once his self-allotted time was up, Asher rose on shaky legs. He pressed a washcloth to his face. He straightened his clothes. He smiled.

Leaving the bathroom, Asher went down the hallway into the kitchen and began to heat some water. He pulled down mugs. He got out tea. He waited. He poured the water. He wiped his tears. He smiled.

The mugs clinked in his hand as he carried them into the living room. He set them on the coffee table. He placed one tea bag in each. He sat next to Milo. He smiled.

“You get ahold of Tank?”

“Yeah,” Milo croaked, “They’re coming over.”

“Good. That’s good.”

He smiled.

————————————————

After ten minutes, Milo’s phone began to buzz.

Asher removed his arm from around Milo’s shaking shoulders and grabbed the phone off the coffee table, handing it to him. Milo cleared his throat before answering.

“Tank?”

“Is he dead?!?”

Milo could hear the storm on their end, along with cars rushing past them. Were they still driving? He prayed to whoever or whatever would listen that they'd at least pulled over.

“Wh-what?” Milo stammered.

“I saw his fucking car, Milo! Smashed up in the middle of the fucking intersection!! Is Gabe fucking dead?!?”

Asher gaped at Milo; Tank wasn't on speakerphone, but they were shouting loud enough for him to hear.

“ANSWER ME MILO!”

Milo glanced at Asher, who was vehemently shaking his head no. Not now. Not this way. Wait.

“…yes, he’s dead—”

“And David?!”

“David wasn’t in the car. But Tank, I need you t—” Milo was cut off as the line went dead, “Tank? Tank?!?”

Asher grabbed Milo's arm.

“They-they hung up," Milo whimpered, "At least I think they did. I hope they did…oh god." He called Tank again. It went to voicemail.

"Fuck!" he yelled, throwing his phone across the room.

Asher rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, scrubbing away the hot tears before they fell but no doubt turning the lighter patches of his skin a blotchy red. He put his arm back around Milo as he fished out his own phone from his pocket and called Tank.

Voicemail.

He hung up and tried again.

Voicemail.

Milo growled and stood up abruptly. He grabbed his coat and moved towards his phone.

“Wh-where’re you going?” Asher stammered.

“To Tank’s place,” Milo replied, picking up his phone, “You stay, in case they come here.”

“Milo, it’s still really bad out there, maybe you should wai—”

“I’ll have to call one of Colm’s old coworkers, find out where the crash was.”

“What? Milo—”

“I need to drive by it. Maybe Tank’s still there. Or maybe,” Milo’s breath caught in his throat, “maybe they crashed too. I don’t know. So I’ll drive by there on my way to Tank’s. I’ll text you when I get there.”

Milo was out the door before Asher could speak. Alone, he crumbled, sobs overtaking him once more.

#goddamn these characters really got away from me #they just started doing their own shit i had no idea we were gonna end up where we did #and i guess i’m writing multiple chapters now??#idk how many we’ll see where this goes #umm but yeah i was really trying to explore the different ways the four of them grieve/react to tragedy #and i’m trying to show how David and Asher ended up with their roles as alpha and beta #cause they weren’t just handed those roles #poor tank they just lose everyone close to them #just wait it’s gonna get more angsty ehehehehehe #also!!! tank pre-stutter!#i never write that!!#it’s so odd not having to take that into account when writing their dialogue #not having a stutter makes them talk and act so differently damn #anyway #mayhem is brewing #redacted fanfic #redacted fandom #redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted headcanons #redacted david #redacted gabe #redacted asher #redacted milo #redacted tank #redacted darlin

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