#mtl gigs

[gigisland]

Rat Piss live @ l'achoppe, Hochelaga, Montreal

March 31st 2023

[aeolianblues]

Fontaines D.C.'s dark, brooding set opener, Romance.

[jelajade]

posterss done for tinyfest last fall

[leshiyy]

Here is the second part of my mtl fancomic!

*after the gig*

The first part is here

[outsidereveries]

could you also do mtl relevance in 5 years for nct too? since they have so many members can you do like top 5? orrr you can just do it for nct 127 if it’s more comfortable for you. thanks❤️

sorry for the late response (for context, the ask was from october 23')! i was waiting for the perfect opponturity, lol

NOW

most likely

mark better use how relevant he is back in south korea as much as he can. his relevance is very stable as of now and he could use it to his advantage (ofc, if sme allow him to do that). [9 of cups • temperance]

doyoung is appreciated (from k-netizens??) for .. honestly, it feels similar to how lisa will be relevant in less than 5 years (that lisa’s businesswoman, that lisa invests very well etc etc) but in the context of how he uses his relevance. he debuted solo recently, right? well, he seems to use the advantage of how he’s popular in korea so well that koreans appreciate it very, very well. [king of pentacles • 7 of cups]

haechan’s popularity back in south korea is very dynamic to him. tbh i see him very loved but also these stans who like him wanting to be active individually even more (it’s similar to twice’s sana where k-netizens wants more solo gigs from her but she isn’t that active there), so that’s why he’s high placed [8 of wands • 6 of pentacles]

jungwoo is loved by many people.. like, many. there’s that vibe where jungwoo can be in a k-drama or k-movie very well and he can nail his role, something like that. his stans also are very respectful and patient, however i can imagine that they want him in the typical love school drama or in love-related variety shows whatever the role is. the same applies to jaemin. [king of cups • 9 of pentacles]

ryo has the potential to be very liked from the start! .. as simple as that [page of pentacles • the fool]

although more liked in group-related activites, yuta is appreciated nowadays. i believe nct is more useful for him when he’s there rather than him having solo gigs in korea. maybe he is be more relevant outside of south korea [4 of wands • 3 of cups]

chenle is liked for his .. independence? for his vibe when standing alone? the same as jungwoo and jaemin, i could also see k-netizens possibly wanting him in a love drama but in these business-related typical plots or in love-related variety shows [9 of pentacles • king of cups]

jaehee is also very liked. however, he should try to open himself a bit more, he seems more introverted than the rest of nct wish [9 of cups • the hermit]

ten has yet to explore his possibilities in south korea, he has the potential to be liked as k-netizens are ready to give him chance, especially after he debuted [2 of wands • 2 of swords rx]

xiaojun has the potential to change k-netizens’ mind and make himself being adored, loved, this stuff even when his job isn’t mainly there, he can achieve being viral for certain things that give motherly energy/vibe [10 of swords rx • queen of cups]

taeyong is yet in military but similar as xiaojun, he can make k-netizens loved even in distance [7 of swords rx • queen of cups]

similar as bts’ j-hope, taeil has the potential to have viral moments when going to military (or for his position there)!.. that’s the best i can give, it’s hard for me to say anything with my neutral cards [10 of swords rx, 4 of pentacles rx • queen of swords]

riku and sakuya can be liked by k-netizens too but has yet to build themsleves, he seems very hardworking, so i don’t see why he won’t be liked in the future [4 of pentacles rx • 7 of pentcles]

winwin has yet to build his reputation by himself too (he has some potential) but i really feel it’s not quite high [5 of swords rx • 2 of cups]

renjun might be blocked/blacklisted by sme for doing individual activities. there also seems to be a rumor that he might sue them for some reason? [5 of pentacles rx • justice]

yangyang .. i only hear “pass”. fortunately, it’s chill compared to twice’s jeongyeon but it has similar vibe :’) [4 of swords • death]

are k-netizens traumatized by something johnny did in the past? either this, or he isn’t just promoted there as other bandmates, idk, i feel it’s the first thing [9 of swords rx • 6 of cups]

kun and jaehyun can make it work but they’re too carefree to do anything in south korea [7 of pentacles rx • queen of pentacles]

yushi has some challenges to adapt in the subunit, possibly a language barrier? did he train for short amount of time? if yes, this explains why (he’s japanese, isn’t he?). k-netizens can like him in the future but him talking not enough is stopping them to stan him for some reason. yushi should chill, he’ll be liked in the future, he has the potential! [3 of pentacles rx • knight of swords]

jeno also has challenges while being in the group. however, it feels he’s a lost cause in his current circumstances. i won’t be surprised if he’ll drift apart from nct and sme [3 of pentacles rx • 9 of wands]

hendery is really trying to fight for any gigs, it’s just hard for him. he can be liked if sme push him enough!! he’s this low because his stans seems to have accepted it at this point and bc of this has drifted also potential ones [5 of swords • king of cups]

jisung is pretty much a lost cause, he seems to not be that much loved in korea [the sun rx • the tower]

sion is in similar situation as jisung but as he is still a rookie, sion might’ve been the trainee k-netizens not wanting to see debuting but yet he did [ace of cups rx • 8 of cups]

least likely

IN 5 YEARS

most likely

taeyong will THRIVE! like, actually thrive! he also will be extremely rich and busy [10 of pentacles • page of wands]

yushi will go from place a to place b for individual gigs, it seems like he’ll be liked whatever he does in the future however these gigs might not be in korea at all OR these gigs in korea won’t be in indoor places, i can see adventures and jeju for some reason [the charitot • king of swords]

so.. k-netizens will want to see sakuya acting? somehow i can see k-netizens wanting sakuya to act in extremely fearless type of dramas but also the romantic ones. also, he might be liked for his body [knight of cups • strength]

chenle will try to win koreans’ heart, he can be active here and there and can have some viral moments [page of cups • knight of pentacles]

will johnny be a mc to a variety show? like amazing saturday or sth similar? i can see him acting … motherly so i can also see him acting too.. either this or that, i’m unsure [queen of cups • 10 of swords rx]

taeil and renjun seem to be lucky to be a fixed casts in variety show(s) or staying in nct, so they’ll be known for that [3 of cups • 4 of cups rx]

haechan will yet to plan what he will want to do. apparently he might leave sme/nct by that time [page of swords • 7 of wands]

jaehyun will succeed to make k-netizens love him but he will also be active from time to time. i can see him focusing on other things rather than his popularity by that time [9 of cups • the hermit]

winwin might sue sme by that time and if anything, he will be talked bc of that [justice • king of pentacles]

doyoung’s relevance is stagnaaant i think? he can do some things in 5 years but .. yeah.. idk it’s not comparable enough [5 of pentacles rx • knight of wands]

xiaojun can have viral moments in 5 years! yes, i see it! nothing else [4 of pentacles rx • 9 of cups]

ten might be active elsewhere and will simply be overlooked bc of it [4 of pentacles rx • 8 of wands]

hendery … seems to be free from sme.. nothing much, nothing less .. [the devil rx • 10 of cups]

jungwoo might be active from time to time. he can be still in nct [4 of cups rx, 3 of cups • the hermit]

kun will be just the same [2 of swords rx • 9 of pentacles]

ryo might be mistreated in sme and fight for solo gigs. he can get sth but it’s yet to be seen [7 of wands • wheel of fortune]

similar to ryo is yangyang but with the difference that he might be not under sme. it’s possible that he can try to be relevant in korea and it either will work or won’t, yangyang can risk everything [7 of wands • knight of wands]

jaehee seems to have limited opponturities because of something he will do? he might be disliked by that time [4 of pentacles • 7 of pentacles]

riku will have the possibilities to be very loved! however, sme can actually restrict him in one way or another. alternatively, riku might be in hiatus during that time [the star • the hanged man]

jeno might not want to be active in korea, k-netizens might be sad because of that [the magician rx • the empress]

jaemin might be liked but he might be inactive at that point of his career, possibly due to mistreatment and/or everything depending on other people. compared to ryo and yangyang, jaemin might not have a choice but to rest for a period that’s too long for him [the empress rx • the magician]

mark might overwork himself by that time. therefore, k-netizens might want for him to rest for real; also, i am unsure if he’ll promote in korea in 5 years as i don’t really feel it, so that’s why he dropped so low [5 of swords • king of cups]

yuta seems to retire from the k-pop idol life [queen of wands rx • 8 of swords rx]

i am really sorry, but jisung is really lost cause [king of wands rx • 4 of pentacles rx]

sion will apparently be isolated from nct. i can see similar situation where other members didn’t promote in their assigned units (i think winwin or yangyang was/were in that situation?) [the hermit rx • the hierophant]

least likely

done on 4th may 2024 :)

note: ik nct aren't 29 members (23 + 6) but nct didn't made cb as a full group after nct wish's debut so.. yeah

[svetzzi]

Would you ever consider making a MTL OC? And who're your favorites, if you have any? I like Caj, St. Cecilia and Olive! <3

I actually do have a self insert character, yes! I just haven’t done much with him. He’s a graphic designer that worked on the band’s solo-gig-stuff on the side, though mainly just Skwisgaar’s novelty guitars

I haven’t engaged too much with others’ mtl ocs but I’m happy there’s such an active community for them! I always enjoy seeing people’s klokateer characters.

[sosoane1]

Look at this cool gig i got into haha!

Im part of the audio visual team at mtl comiccon this year😁😁

[erving-goffman]

oh the national's mtl gig this tour is osheaga??? i might skip....

[spageddy29]

thanks for the tag queen

1. Are you named after anyone?

no but my mom had a friend called Kira so the inspiration probably came from there

2. When was the last time you cried?

like yesterday. tough week

3. Do you have kids?

No thank you

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

i don't really play team sports but i snowboard in the winter and i used to dance and i started aikido this year. also not a sport but an active thing: i like to go backpacking in the summer and hiking in general

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

it really depends on the person, different things stand out for everybody

7. What is your eye color?

🧿🧿

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

both and everything in between

9. Any special talents?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh i can whistle through my teeth

10. Where were you born?

wouldn't you like to know weather boy (mtl)

11. Any hobbies?

lots yeah. I can't really say playing the clarinet since that's what i'm studying but i like fucking around with the piano, the ukulele and at times the violin, singing/karaoke, reading, writing, listening to music, embroidery, knitting kinda, stuff like that. and i want to start drawing and dancing again. also i really like camping (real camping) and just hanging out in the forest if that counts

12. Do you have any pets?

yes a cat called cali and my brother's and his girlfriend's dogs stela and fabio

13. How tall are you?

uh i really don't know i think around 5'4

14. Favorite subject in school?

music obviously, but for the classic like academic subjects, french

15. Dream job?

i'm realizing more and more that i want to play in an orchestra, but not one of the big important ones. i think i'd like a more lowkey orchestra with less pressure and less concerts so that i'd have time for other things like other music gigs, writing, volunteer work, translating, learning to compose and produce music, etc

15? that's a lot geeeee

@tarotoro @notlikeotherdads @vampninjaz @froggycade @amaterasluts @35eddion @sasukes-cum-sock @queer-naruto @matchamago @lovergirlnami @fruitchakra @flaminghotchimba @moonstruck-adricia @kurtsgirl69 @soupbrothel

hey folks how's it going

15 questions 15 mutuals

Thanks for the tag @notyouraveragesofia 💕🥺

1. Are you named after anyone?

My middle name is after my great grandmother Viola!

2. When was the last time you cried?

Yesterday at work. I was having a really hard time but I was fighting myself from crying and wiped my tears away right away.

3. Do you have kids?

No, but maybe one day.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Only in real life when people can tell I’m being sarcastic.

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

Softball and volleyball!! Was a pitcher for my fast pitch softball team for a few years. But I think volleyball is my favorite! I wish I could play as an adult.

6. What is the first thing you notice about people?

I guess if I feel a click with them right away. I’m shy but sometimes some people i just automatically feel safe with. Idk it’s hard to explain.

7. What is your eye color?

Dark brown, almost black.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies!! I am kind of sick of happy endings because that’s how everything seems to end. I love being on edge during a story.

9. Any special talents?

I play guitar, ukulele and clarinet! I used to be really good at music theory but it’s been a few years since I did anything with it so I am definitely not as good as I was lol

10. Where were you born?

Minneapolis, Minnesota!

11. Any hobbies?

Playing video games like Pokémon or platform games. Drawing when I have time to. Going on hikes around my apartment.

12. Do you have any pets?

Yes, 2 cats and a goldfish! My cats names are Casper & Scully. And the goldfish’s name is Marigold.

13. How tall are you?

5’3”

14. Favorite subject in school?

Science (before it became math) English and art/music

15. Dream job?

To be honest I don’t care anymore. Something that pays me a living wage with a little bit of spending money that doesn’t make me want to kill myself every day.

Okay so I’ll tag @leo-probably @ultrastormy-ocean @spageddy29 @theykage @ew-a-naruto-blog @casuallyceltic @jenniferiawrence @amikotsu @yamanaka-shin @well-fuck-me-son @killashi @yuckyskies @malewifeandgirlboss @genderfluidsasuke @haruno and anyone else who wants to do it 💕💕

[gaborbata]

Just when you thought you saw the last of my postering...well, I had to get back in the game, ‘cause this show’s gonna be a doozy!

I’ve never actually been to a rave, but I hear cool people go. I hear all the names on this list belong to the names of cool people. Maybe check it out? Hang out with all the cool people? Grab a cool rave breakfast while you’re at it?

[jelajade]

some gig posters from the past year

[purplespacecats]

the other day my uber driver told me "I'm from Afghanistan. We've been at war there for 40 years. The roads are worse here."

Quebec sees Alberta being trash and thinks "Man I can't let them get ahead."

~~~~

[writing-good-vibes]

[picrew credit: https://picrew.me/image_maker/482731]

[MTL OC] INTRODUCING THE 90S SCREAM QUEEN HERSELF... JULIE ANNE “JULES” EXPLOSION! Born in 1976, Jules is the youngest child of Rose and Oscar Explosion and a certified Scream Queen. Watch any schlocky horror from the mid-90s onward and Jules is sure to make an appearance (her shirt, on the other hand, may not). But at the end of the day, you can't fault her; she made something of herself, and she only scrounges off her brother, Nathan, sometimes.

Due to being only a few years younger than her brother Nathan, Jules experienced the best of both worlds in that she and Nate got on very well, whilst he still maintained a sense of “older brother protectiveness” over her.

She graduated high school in 1994, and went to community college in Tampa to major in drama. Whilst there, she took a role in a student film called Drop Out Massacre (directed by her roommates boyfriend). The film did surprisingly well on the indie circuit (maybe not surprisingly given how persistent the director was that it was going to be a success) and ultimately developed a bit of a following. Jules started getting offers from agents and was asked to audition for a few other low-budget horror flicks.

She got a moderately well paying gig on a studio financed horror movie (still low budget but with a guaranteed distributor) and dropped out of college.

It didn’t take long for her to power through a few more movie, get an agent and ultimately she became a Scream Queen in her own right.

Although at the start of her career she was doing a lot of indie slasher/borderline exploitation films, she fell into the niche of doing sequels. 

Her longest running franchise that she’s starred in is called ‘Hack and Slash’. There are seven movies to date and she has starred in all of them.

Although she is no where near as successful as her brother, she does have her own career and doesn’t particularly rely on him to bolster it in any way. That being said, she never turns down his invites to industry parties and she makes no secret of the fact that royalties from her past films pay a lot of her bills.

Jules chose to stay in Florida -- even when Nathan moved out to the newly built Mordhaus -- and currently lives in Miami. She can and will brag about how she knows where Cher lives.

DETHPHONE TRANSCRIPT BETWEEN J. EXPLOSION AND N. EXPLOSION

JULES: NATE, CAN I GET AN INVITE TO THAT ALBUM RELEASE PARTY?

NATHAN: NO.

JULES: I'M BETWEEN JOBS RIGHT NOW AND YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE YOUR OWN SISTER A SHOT AT SOME FREE FOOD? FOR SHAME.

ONE MONTH LATER

NATHAN: HEY.

JULES: I'M FILMING WALMART MASSACRE 5 RIGHT NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[boingoburger]

SHITTY MTL OC LOL!!!!!

Namacuix is a broke college student who is a musical prodigy. He hasn’t found a gig in forever so he offers piano lessons to other people.

Toki accidentally signs up due to that one episode where he “needs a piano teacher”

Namacuix is flabbergasted that a member of Dethklok signed up

Toki comes to lessons and tries to break the ice and Namacuix and slowly go from acquaintances to good friends.

I’m still writing this but eventually Toki brings them to Mordhaus and is like “avoid Skwisgaar 😡” and idk they have gay sex

Also he’s trans

[failedintsave]

I tried the MTL pairing generator for rarepair month...aaaand it told me to stay in my lane lol. And then it told me to write some Rachel/Roy Cornickleson which I just don't think I'm ready to take on 🙃 So here's some Skwistok set just before Doomstar that I've been fiddling with.

(gets just a little nsfw near the beginning)

Stages

Everyone handles grief differently.

Skwisgaar groaned as muscular arms pushed him against the wall, the reinforced metal door to his room on the submarine banging shut as they cleared the threshold. Hands tangled in his hair, holding him in place while lips and tongue and teeth worked over his neck. He clung desperately to the body pressed against him, fingers twisting in blue cotton material and yanking it upward. The mouth latched onto his throat pulled away as the t-shirt was hauled over his head and Toki's fevered eyes found his before rushing forward again, mashing their lips together with sloppy abandon. He gripped Skwisgaar by the belt, half dragging him as they stumbled their way to his bunk and collapsed. Breathing came in gasps and sighs as Toki's weight pinned him down into the mattress, the pressure both exhilarating and mollifying, an anchor to hold onto as the life he'd known for so many years turned upside down and twisted away in the wind.

He'd never given much energy to grief. Life was just a punctuated string of losses in the long run. Loss of innocence, loss of trust, loss of opportunities. It was all meaningless, really. In his experience, something new always came along to fill the space so why dwell on mourning what you couldn't have back?

Boots thumped to the floor, kicked off in haste. His shirt was peeled away before sturdy hands lifted his hips to free him of his jeans, calloused fingertips gliding back up his thighs and making him shiver. Toki climbed up to kiss him again, hungrily, as if trying to swallow him whole, their teeth knocking against each other. Skwisgaar ran his hands over every inch of skin he could reach, the hard lines of Toki's shoulders, the raised ridges of overlapping scars on his back, hip bones where they ground down against his own. Heat pooled low in his belly like magma aching to erupt. He wanted this, needed this right now, more than he'd ever needed anything in his life. How long had they danced around this, stealing moments and blaming it later on booze or post-show adrenaline, walking right up to the line and peeking over before backing away again? In the name of preserving band dynamics? A lot of good that had done, they'd still ended up where they are now, Dethklok tipping over the precipice into self-destruction.

Another loss to add to the list.

Toki pulled back, glacier blue eyes raking over Skwisgaar's features with manic light, chestnut locks of hair falling in disarray to frame his face. Skwisgaar reached up and tucked a strand behind his ear and Toki's expression shifted, the wild yearning softened into something gentler, less wolfish. He sat up to kneel between Skwisgaar's legs, hand skimming from his collar bone to his navel and leaving a trail of fire, over the inside of his thigh and dipping beneath, pausing until Skwisgaar breathed his assent, whispered his name.

Fingers tested gingerly, gradually increasing in depth and pressure before he gripped him by the waist and hauled him onto his lap. Skwisgaar canted his hips, lip catching between his teeth at the feel of Toki against him, his pulse hammering in his ears. His head angled back into the pillows and a wordless moan escaped his throat when Toki eased forward, back arching as lightning raced up his spine. Skwisgaar's fingers knotted in the bed sheets as Toki released a shuddering breath over him, rocking into him slowly, building rhythm into a steady push and pull.

Loss of professional boundaries. Definitely not something to be mourned.

The devastating sensation of fullness where they joined drove all coherent thought from Skwisgaar's mind and his eyes rolled back under closed lids, panting nonsense and expletives, begging for release. His toes curled as Toki matched stokes with his hand to the tempo of his thrusts, coaxing him through his climax until tipping over the edge after him with a whining sigh. Call and response, Skwisgaar thought dazedly as his superheated skeleton melted into jelly. When he could open his eyes again, his gaze landed on Toki's face above him, watching him with an openly heartsick expression.

"I… hads to do dat… at least once before dis ams all over." The broken whisper settled over him like a burial shroud.

Skwisgaar shook his head, holding out his arms. "Come heres."

Swallowing thickly, Toki obeyed, winding his arms under Skwisgaar's shoulders and burying his face in the crook of his neck. Skwisgaar shifted to find a comfortable position, their sweat-slick chests sliding against each other as he angled slightly onto one side, hand cradling Toki's skull to keep him near.

"Seem pretties stupids we aments been doing dat dis whole time, honestlies."

Loss of time.

Toki held him tightly and Skwisgaar felt the tremor in his grip. He rubbed his cheek against the crown of the other man's head, humming tunelessly as he waited for him to speak, knowing already the fears plaguing his mind. He'd faced them often enough in his younger days, even if the scenario now was more complicated. It was hard to compare wondering where your next gig, your next meal ticket, might come from to wondering where to go after you'd already stood at the top.

Sniffling preceded the feeling of wetness against his shoulder, Toki mumbling against his skin. "What happens now? Ams we all just gonna says 'fucks you, see ya laters' now dat de band ams done? Even now dat dey tells us we gots to plays music to saves de world?"

Skwisgaar fiddled with a strand of brown hair for a moment before answering. "Well, I don'ts know abouts all dis saves-de-woirld business. But whats I do know ams band break ups. And, euughh, ja dat ams a pretty standords opseratings procedures."

"But does it has to be likes dat? We coulds all stays pals, right?"

"Dat ams...compslickateds." He dropped the lock and let his hand fall to Toki's shoulders. "Somet'ing like dis...people tends to ezpecks yous to euughh, picks sides. It ams messy. And it never warks out, t'ings always comes apart in de end."

Loss of the longest working relationships he'd had in his life.

Toki said nothing, so Skwisgaar continued if only to fill the silence. "But it coulds be worse, you knows? We gots more moneys den god, what's so bad what cants be fixed wif dat?" The statement produced a cold feeling trickling down behind his ribs, like swallowing a heaping spoonful of snow. "Nones of it acktualies matters. Just goes on to da next t'ings."

"I just... don'ts know what to does if dere aments a Dethklok."

"Whatevors you wants! You coulds buy de whole stores of airplane models, or you coulds builds you own splasharoonies water parks. Hell you coulds probablies starts a new bands wif dose guys from dat T'underhorse group."

"No," Toki murmured, face still compressed against Skwisgaar's neck. "I don't wants a new band. Dis was da one."

The possessive satisfaction he felt at those words tied his stomach in guilty knots.

"Ja it ams was a pretty good gigs…"

Toki shifted, laying his head on the pillow next to Skwisgaar's, his forlorn gaze searching his face for answers. Skwisgaar rolled so they were laying face to face, legs still twisted under the sheets.

Not everything was tied up in the feud that caused the band to split. What if it didn't have to be a total loss? Surely there were parts here that could be salvaged.

"Okej...so who says we haves to do anyt'ings at all?"

Toki's brows cinched. "What you means?"

Maybe, just this one thing, he could keep.

Skwisgaar's lips curved with the ghost of a smile. "I's already mades it to de top, ams de fastest guitarist alives...coulds be I shoulds just quits while I gots de title, ja? Retires, takes my ball and goes home wif it."

Toki snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Builds mineself a giant house up in de mountains or somet'ing. Or travels and just fucks off on de resgiduals forever, not worries about a deadlines or demos ever again. Plays guitar just for funs."

He saw his grin mirrored on Toki's face as the other man nodded dreamily.

"Maybe you...comes wif me?" Fluttery nerves tickled behind his sternum. "If you wants to."

Toki's eyes widened. "Wait. Whats?"

Just this. He could be happy with this.

"Y-you means it? You aments just messings with Toki?"

He shook his head. "How long dids we waste before nows? For not'ing. I'm sick ofs waitings. Let's just goes."

A heartbeat passed, and then Toki's mouth was on his again. Less frantic this time, hopeful rather than desperate. He cradled Toki's jaw, taking his time as he returned his affections, deepening the kiss and tracing languid strokes over his neck, his shoulders, his chest. Their limbs wound together in a twisted bramble, bodies drawing tightly together, fitting like puzzle pieces.

A repetitive, discordant riff sounded from the pile of clothes abandoned on the floor and Toki's head jerked away. Flashing an apologetic grin, he rolled away to fish his phone from his pocket, sliding his pants up loosely around his hips.

"Sorries, be rights back!" He whispered, pressing the screen to answer. "Oh hei, Rockso!*

"Hows do you even has signals down here?" Skwisgaar called after him as he stepped into the hall, then flopped back onto the pillows to stare at the ceiling, counting the shiny rivets in the metal plating.

This was doable. Tomorrow they would bury more than just a mentor, they would lay to rest their careers as the biggest metal band in existence. The world at large would mourn their passing, but Skwisgaar wouldn't dwell on what's done and over. Not if he had new prospects to look forward to. Something always came along, and he never looked back.

"I tolds Magnus dat I woulds sit wif hims tomorrow." He heard Toki's muffled voice through the crack he'd left in the door.

A shadow passed over his thoughts at the name, like someone walking across his grave. It was uncomfortable to say the least, to have their former guitarist back in the fringes of their lives. Toki had a habit of finding friendship in questionable places, but where the clown was mostly an annoyance and sometimes a financial drain, his relationship with Magnus left Skwisgaar apprehensive. It didn't ease his mind when Toki insisted the older musician was different now. How could he know? He hadn't lived with the man, hadn't walked on eggshells during every rehearsal or songwriting session, hadn't watched as he plunged a knife into a bandmate.

But Magnus had also saved Toki with his insulin. He'd been there for Toki as a shoulder to lean on when the band had started to fall apart, too preoccupied with their own issues to spare a minute for their youngest member.

So maybe Toki was right. Things change; he'd never expected that a wedge could be driven between Nathan and Pickles far enough to end their friendship in such a catastrophic way, but here they were. And if Magnus still harbored any resentment for the band, their breakup was probably a balm to the old wound of rejection. What else could he wish on them? He was probably loving this.

The door scraped shut and Toki slipped back into the blankets gingerly, as if expecting Skwisgaar to be asleep. When he saw that he was still awake, Toki leaned in with a grin.

"Sorries...now, where was we…?" He murmured, capturing Skwisgaar's lips tenderly. "Oh ja, you was tellings me how we's gonna runs away togedders into de sunsets."

"Pfff. Dat am hardlies what I saids."

More kisses peppered his cheek and jaw. "Dats what I heards."

"Well I always knew yous was tone deafs, I didn'ts realize you ams just all de way hards of hearingks." His arm encircled Toki's back as the brunette nestled in again.

"Tells to me about wheres we gonna goes. Tells me about our house on tops of de mountains."

Skwisgaar snorted. Of the two of them, his was not the more vivid and fanciful imagination. But staring up at the blank canvas that the brushed metal panels of ceiling created, he envisioned a future for them to share. They squabbled playfully over locations and home design styles. They named off outlandish things they would fill their home with, like an even bigger ruby metronome or a trampoline room or an indoor pool shaped like a guitar and filled with champagne. They listed places they'd toured that they wanted to visit again, and locations they hadn't been yet but had always hoped to see.

"Can we gets a cat?" Toki asked suddenly, making Skwisgaar laugh airily.

"If we haves to?" He laughed again as Toki nodded against him. "But I'm not cleaningks up after it, dat ams all you, pal."

"Okei." Toki sighed deeply, settling in more comfortably. "Okei. I feels a lots less scareds now about all dis."

His hand glided up from where it had been resting at Skwisgaar's hip to lay warm over his heartbeat.

"I'll miss Dethklok. A whole lots. But now I t'inks I ams acktualies looking forwards to what comes next."

Still staring at the steel plates above, Skwisgaar grinned at the pictures they'd painted in his mind.

"Ja, me toos."

He covered Toki's hand with his own. However much they stood to lose after tomorrow, his heart felt lighter at what they were about to gain together. There was no reason to dwell on what was gone.

Everyone handles grief differently.

Laying on his bunk, Skwisgaar's eyes roamed the scuffed plate ceiling overhead, lingering on rusted rivets and water stains. The imperfections seemed to move and writhe like crawling insects under the influence of whatever handful of pills Pickles had given him. A half-drained bottle of vodka lay cradled against his chest, the mouth stoppered by his thumb. Fire burned in his belly from the alcohol, but cold fury pulsing through his veins tempered it.

He'd been prepared for Dethklok to end, had even accepted the idea that his career as a guitarist was over, diminished to a hobby. Playing guitar was his lifeblood, his purpose, and he'd been about to let that go. What had he been thinking? How had he gotten so wrapped up in fantasy that throwing away his entire self had seemed like a plausible course of action.

Loss of objectivity. Fortunately it seemed to be temporary.

He took a long pull from the bottle, dribbling a little and not bothering to wipe it away. Stupid Toki, needing to be comforted like a child with make-believe bedtime stories. He couldn't just man up and move on like everyone else, like Skwisgaar had been doing since he was a teen, finding his next audition, his next couch to crash on, his next temporary alliance with subpar musicians to make ends meet. It couldn't have been an easier landing for him either, no concerns about hunger or homelessness or deportation hanging over his head. He was set up for success and still couldn't handle it.

Fucking idiot needed so much attention, so much coddling, he'd even run straight into harm's way to try and make a friend. Of all people, he'd had to choose Magnus, that vindictive bastard. Of course he'd still been carrying a grudge, when had he ever let anything go in the past? And they'd known it.

A pair of divots on the ceiling stared back at him, one dark, one catching the light. Glaring back at him mockingly, winking at his impotent rage.

They'd known. They'd known, they knew, they knew.

Skwisgaar knew. And he'd said nothing.

Then he'd watched again, frozen, as Magnus drove a knife into someone close to him.

Skwisgaar thrashed upright, a strangled roar bursting from his lungs as he flung the bottle at the wall. He kicked at the bedside table bolted to the wall, denting it from below, then spun around to tear the sheets from his bunk and hurl them across the room. This wasn't the trade he'd prepared for, this wasn't the deal he'd made with himself.

His eyes fell on his Explorer propped in the corner. He reached for it, wrapping both hands around the ebony fretboard, holding it like an axe and swinging it against the wall. He bashed it into the floor, the dresser, screaming until his throat was raw and the guitar was cracked into useless chunks of wood and fiberglass connected by twisted strings. He dropped the pieces in a heap, sinking to the ground to lean against the side of his bed, his shoulders heaving with labored panting.

The door of his room scraped open, and in his periphery he saw a figure standing, backlit by the dim red glow in the corridor. Broad-shouldered, straight hair dangling about their head. His heart seized for a moment before the figure spoke, shattering his hallucination.

"What are you doing in here?" Nathan's gravelly voice was cautious.

Skwisgaar didn't turn, eyes still focused on the debris ahead of him. The stainless steel guitar strings seemed to wriggle like worms in grave soil, consuming the corpse of his instrument. He waited until he caught his breath before trying to respond.

"What does it looks like I'm doingks?"

Nathan shifted in the doorway. "Losing your mind."

He chuckled mirthlessly.

Loss of sanity? Maybe.

"You've been locked up in there a while. Maybe you should, you know. Come out here. With the rest of the band."

"Fucks off."

Nathan didn't move. Skwisgaar felt the urge to rage at the other man rise in him, to shout in his face, demand to know why it had taken him so long to patch things over with Pickles, why he let it go so far that he'd upset all of their lives so horrifically. But the feeling passed, his body drained from his previous outburst and from trying to filter a pharmacy's worth of substances through his liver.

"We're gonna find him, you know. Charles has people everywhere looking already."

One shoulder rose and fell in a halfhearted shrug. "Whatevers. Who cares."

They could have been a four-piece. If he really wanted to rage at someone it would be his past self. How different would things be right now if he'd never given that gutter rat a chance after missing his audition time? How much of what they achieved would they have really missed out on? How many rerecording sessions and stupid arguments and publicized blow outs could have been avoided? What would they really have been missing?

He certainly wouldn't mourn the loss of a constant source of annoyance. Of an immature tag-along with a hair trigger temper. Of a loud and boisterous whirlwind of silliness and color and sincerity.

Loss of his shadow. Loss of his muse. Loss of his best friend. Loss of his future. Loss of…

Loss of…

He couldn't breathe.

"Just leaves me alone. Please." He gritted out, proud of the steadiness of his voice as his stomach began to roil and his eyes prickled with tears.

Nathan hesitated. "Should I...close this?"

Skwisgaar nodded and after another moment the steel frame clanged shut. His vision blurred as tears welled and spilled over, his breath returning in short gasping puffs which rolled over into sobs that rattled his frame.

They'd had one day. Not even a day. An evening. Hours.

He wept until he was sick, vomiting clear liquor and not much else onto the floor next to the remnants of his guitar. He wept until his tears were spent and his head throbbed in tandem with his heart, even though he didn't understand how the muscle still carried a beat when the rhythm had been taken away.

Eventually he had nothing left. His face felt swollen, his eyes were gritty. Skwisgaar rolled to his hands and knees, avoiding the puddle of sick as he rocked up onto wobbly legs. He looked at the door, wondering if the others were still awake. If they were sitting in the lounge, drowning their sorrows. He felt like he wore a lead weight around his neck, bowing under the pull of it. It might be better just to sleep.

He turned to the naked mattress, but a scrap of blue on the floor near the foot of the bed caught his attention. A faded cotton t-shirt lay where it had been discarded. Skwisgaar stared at it for several long moments. He stepped closer to the bed, to the shirt.

And kicked it underneath the frame and out of sight before turning for the door.

He'd never given much energy to grief. Life was just a punctuated string of losses in the long run. Loss of purpose. Loss of self. Loss of connection. Loss of…

It was all meaningless, really. So why dwell on mourning what you couldn't have back?

[lillys-fan-arts]

OH MY FUCKING GOD OH MY GOD OH MYH GOD OH GOD OH FUCK OH HOMIE YOU GOT ME I AM IN AWE THIS IS THE BEST CROSSOVER I'VE EVER SEEN THANK YOU

kloktober day 9: crossover or favorite au

this has been a long time coming, and finally i have an excuse to draw it! before i got back into metalocalypse, my last fandom was for the game detroit: become human. and then i started shipping hammertooth and i’m like… wait… a sad old man with vices and a poor lifestyle, and a cheery younger dude who’s really strong and helps him turn himself around? that’s just connor and hank wearing different clothes.

toki and connor are talking about their mutual love of fish. hank and magnus are probably bitching about how their boyfriends don’t let them have alcohol anymore, but in that fond sort of way because they’re both hopelessly smitten.

(also i added magnus’ surgery scar so i could sneak in my favorite au - magnus lives babyyy)