#mp assistant guy

[geee-three]

mother told me im hysterical bc i started arguing politics w her again

[octuscle]

Cosechadora

Gregory Miller had been warned. The mood in his constituency was tipping. The lack of harvest workers had hit some of the farmers hard. The MP had therefore deliberately decided against wearing a suit and opted for a casual outfit. And so he stood somewhere in the middle of nowhere on a farm and tried to withstand the farmer's tirades with a smile.

“Listen,” he tried to interrupt the abuse. “If there's anything we can do to help you, we'll help them!” The farmer shouted at him that he had only been waiting for this offer and threw his pitchfork at Gregory. “Then why don't you start right away and muck out my stable!” Gregory looked around for help. His assistant just shrugged his shoulders disconcertedly and discreetly. “One day” Gregory thought to himself. “It's just one day.”

Gregory picked up the pitchfork and went into the stable. He had no idea what to do. His assistant took a few pictures for Instagram. Gregory filled a wheelbarrow with straw from the ground. “You bloody politicians are really good for nothing,” the farmer scolded and showed Gregory what to do and how to do it. After half an hour, Gregory's assistant said goodbye because he had to get to the office urgently. He would pick Gregory up tomorrow around noon. Gregory was sweating and cursing inwardly. But he smiled a slightly pained smile and said that he would have a lot of fun until then.

Lunch was plentiful. But Greg was also hungry. The farmer's wife said that he had to wash up first, he stank like a pig. “Yes, Mam,” Greg replied politely and went to the washing trough behind the house. The cold water did him good. The food was delicious. “What's on the agenda for this afternoon, boss?” he asked with his mouth full. The farmer listed Greg's chores. Shit, this was going to be exhausting again. And why he had to be in the cornfield at sunset was obvious. The farmer would want to blow him again. But the boss decided. And the wages on the farm weren't bad either, so an open-air blow job was okay.

It was 10 p.m. when Greg finally fell asleep. It had been a hard day. But he liked the job here. Ever since the farmer's son had left for the big city, this place had been missing a helping hand. And he had been the right man at the right time. And the farmer had nothing to worry about. He would never run away to the big city. He was a country boy after all.

They were wild dreams in the night. Washington DC came to mind, Idaho and Tijuana. He tossed and turned from right to left. He was drenched in sweat. It was 4:30 a.m. when the alarm clock rang. Jorge was the first one awake on the farm. Until recently, there had been five of them. Three had been picked up by the immigration authorities, one had left. Jorge was the last one here. And it was only a matter of time before they found him too. Until then, he had to try to earn as much money as possible. He now had to work for five. He was still only paid for one.

Jorge looked after the cows, mucked out the pigsty and made breakfast. He himself ate a sandwich on the way out to the fields. He had to check the corn. It was actually still too early for the harvest. But firstly, it looked like a storm. And secondly, if he wasn't here tomorrow, who would support the boss?

As he was about to make his way back to the farm at midday, he saw a car approaching. Shit, he knew that guy, he worked for the county deputy. Jorge ducked down. Before the guy drove back, Jorge had better not show his face on the farm. The farmer was already constantly complaining about the new government… Everything looked even worse to Jorge. But he didn't complain. After all, he wasn't a gringo who couldn't stand anything and only complained. He was a proud Mexican. And if his cock was good enough to be sucked by the farmer, Mexicans couldn't be that bad.

Just to be clear, I would never call anyone “wetback”. But the idea of turning a xenophobic Republican into what he himself would disparagingly call a wetback is the core idea of this story.

[stele3]

So tradition in the French parliament has the oldest MP oversee the voting for prime minister assisted by the youngest MP.

Unfortunately, the youngest MP is currently a member of the far-right party.

Every member of the leftist coalition refused to shake his hand while casting their votes, with their fellows cheering them on, but you gotta watch the one big leftist voter at 30 seconds in who cold-stares the guy from two inches away. He’s Sébastien Delogu, an Algerian immigrant.

[abugsomewhere]

OC TIME!

That’s right, you guys get to hear about the ocs i’ll never actually do anything with. List is under the cut cus it’s kinda long.

Detroit: Become Human

I have 3 ocs for for this one:

- Reed (Model R33D), marketed as a household and childcare android. When he deviates, he decides to just ignore it and pretend it never happened

- Xavier, a single father and writer. He bought Reed so Rylee would have someone to take care of her while he was busy

- Rylee, Xavier’s 10 year old daughter. She is a chaotic sweetheart and her dad’s #1 Wingman

Reed and Xavier are gay and Rylee is ecstatic

Monster Prom (and co.)

Yeah yeah, I made an MP self-insert.

His name is Cam. He’s a flame golem and I made lore about flame golems SPECIFICALLY FOR HIM.

Basically, their bodies are made of molten rock and their heads are floating orbs of fire. If they touch water, two things happen, 1) their body will cool into solid rock that will eventually heat back up into a molten form, UNLESS 2) their head turns into steam and they just fucking die. Aka, they avoid water. Also, they can control the temperature of their bodies. It’s weird, and not well thought out, but they can choose if they want to burn people or not. It’s fun.

Gen. OCs

These don’t have a fandom. I don’t do much with them. But sometimes I like throwing them at a wall for funsies.

- Anthony, a sci-fi-ish astronaut. Think Star Wars, he’s kinda like a mix between Han Solo and the Mandolorian

- B34 (Bea), Anthony’s droid assistant that may or may not be sentient

- Booker and Spec, a human and their very inconvenient curse. Booker just wanted to read a fucking book, but Spec decided they were much more interesting than throwing books at little kids in the children’s section of the library

Those are my ocs! Or at least, the ones I think about. And can remember.

[darkmaga-returns]

This Substack has been warning for quite some time of the various eugenics programs around the world disguised as virtuous and magnanimous statist assisted suicide schemes…

Technocratic State Sponsored Suicide Is Here: Why Is Canada Euthanising The Poor? 2nd Smartest Guy in the World · July 23, 2022 Technocratic State Sponsored Suicide Is Here: Why Is Canada Euthanising The Poor? Elites engineering their 4th Industrial Revolution social credit score A.I. systems to determine which Genetically Modified Human (GMH) slaves are fit to live or qualify for recycling has finally arrived.

Read full story

EXCLUSIVE: Ontario Woman Paralyzed After Moderna booster Shot; Doctors Attribute Cause to Vaccine, Offer MAID 2nd Smartest Guy in the World · Feb 22 EXCLUSIVE: Ontario Woman Paralyzed After Moderna booster Shot; Doctors Attribute Cause to Vaccine, Offer MAID This Substack has been covering the horror show technocommunist dystopia that is Canada, with a particular emphasis on their medical assistance in dying (MAID) democide program.

Read full story …we now have further proof that this technocratic democide horror show is a globalist program to depopulate the planet; to wit:

Shadowy dark money behind the assisted suicide/euthanasia bill connected to American global population reduction organisations

This is one of the most sinister things I've ever discovered.

Kim Leadbeater, who sponsored this bill, is the Chair of More in Common UK - incidentally not recorded on the Register of MPs interests (https://members.parliament.uk/members/commons/interests/publications…)

More in Common has been pushing a lot of the polling in favour of assisted suicide in the media recently.

This whole campaign is obviously extremely well funded. They have way more publicity than the anti-euthanasia side, e.g. seemingly hiring out half the billboards on London Underground - especially at Westminster where the tunnels are full of them!

So who funds More in Common?

This is where things get super creepy.

The More in Common global website shows that they are funded by various groups. One of their primary funders listed is the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation.

This organisation has had as one of its core aims, for many decades, the depopulation of the planet. Since 1967 they have given nearly half a billion dollars through their Population Program.

See e.g. their detailed "Population Program Strategic Plan" from 2004:

"Many areas of urgent need remain" in "reducing population growth rates"!

Most of this is for the developing world - note that they are actually aiming for Asia to have a below replacement fertility rate - but killing people in the developed world will also help!

[nonstandardrepertoire]

now that i have read Every Single Sherlock Holmes Story, i have moved on to reading Every Single Agatha Christie Story. her early output is. uh. u n e v e n, but! the current book does contain this crotchety MP whose sole desire is to never do any work and instead simply gad about vibing. his name is Sir Eustace Pedler and he is truly an inspiration:

Guy Pagett[, my secretary,] struggled up on deck after we left Madeira and began babbling in a hollow voice about work. What the devil does any one want to work for on board ship? It is true that I promised my publishers my “Reminiscences” early in the summer, but what of it? Who really reads reminiscences? Old ladies in the suburbs. And what do my reminiscences amount to? I’ve knocked against a certain number of so-called famous people in my lifetime. With the assistance of Pagett, I invent insipid anecdotes about them. And, the truth of the matter is, Pagett is too honest for the job. He won’t let me invent anecdotes about the people I might have met but haven’t.

(from chapter 12 of The Man in the Brown Suit — i'm reading it on Project Gutenberg, so i don't have a page number)

[ukftm]

Surgery Travel Reimbursement

We are hearing from some of our followers that some guys are experiencing issues getting their travel refunded for their surgery, especially those with Sandyford.

Most NHS boards will reimburse you if you have to travel outside of your local NHS board area to access surgery. So for example those that have to travel from Scotland to England. While different NHS boards have differing rules, the rule they share is that you should be contacted by your NHS board to offer you assistance with your travel and they should be telling you how to get your travel costs (and often your companions costs) refunded BEFORE you travel.

However, what seems to be the case is that most guys are not even aware they can get their travel costs refunded or their companions, something that many NHS boards seem to be purposefully not telling patients about.

If you have not been contacted by your NHS board or been refunded for your surgery travel costs or are having issues getting your travel refunded, it is important you make a complaint to your local NHS board. If you are worried about doing this, you can contact your local MSP who can investigate this for you.

Those with Sandyford seem to be especially effected by the NHS team that deal with travel reimbursement, a team often called Safehaven. If you are in the Tayside area, the Safehaven team dealing with travel reimbursements seem to be particularly problematic. So if you live in the Tayside area (or any other area that you have to travel for your surgeries) and are having issues getting your travel and your companions travel reimbursed and specifically if you have not been contacted by this team BEFORE your travel to tell you what costs can be covered or to offer you travel assistance, make a complaint to your local NHS board and your local MSP to investigate this.

It is important that your local NHS boards and your local MPs are aware that such departments are not following procedures and are both not refunding trans patients or not even making them aware they can apply for a refund.

The more people that make complaints about such departments, the more likely this will be investigated and such teams will be held accountable for purposefully not telling trans patients they can be refunded or making problems for them when they try to apply for refunds.

[horrorland-guest-diservices]

Mayor Dark (Mrs. Dark) here,

I heard commotions going on at Horrorland? Lucy-Dear said the Horrors were chasing her friends and there seems to be a “Menace” running rampant? I need details on what happened so that we can resolve this.

[TRANSFERRING TO PRIVATE CHANNEL...]

Mayor Dark, so good to hear from you. We ourselves are still piecing together the details of what exactly is happening, although right now our claws are full. Between our dwindling staff and the monster channel trying to run programs that make us look even slightly in control, you can see why organization has been such a tall task. You, as a mayor, must understand the immense pressure we at horrorland— or, rather, we the few trying to keep this place from collapsing— are under.

With that said, this is what myself and our new chief of police have gathered; amidst the juvenile attack on horrorland, something else has resurfaced, a creature we are becoming less and less sure we know the origin of. Additionally, there may be other parties assisting the creature, one which calls themselves "the butcher." Anyone who has learned anything about these creatures has promptly gone missing, first Jerry, then several MPs, the social media guy, that Keith boy- hell, they may have taken down the very owner of this park. Additionally, the intruders formerly known as the special guests have dissapeared too.

There's something deeply wrong here, Mayor Dark. It's too early to call it, but we may need assistance.

[DISCONNECTED FROM PRIVATE CHANNEL]

[eucalyptus-gl0bulus]

Actually, he started this all pissing on ex-premier Gladys "xXKoalakillerXx" Berijiklian, by commenting on her policy by giving her the nickname. In the video, he also prods Giovanni Barilaro, a man of many nicknames (Bruz, Pork Barilaro, John, Super Mario)

This then got Barilaro a little miffed and he went and called friendlyjordies impression of him "racist" and Jordan Shanks made a follow-up that looks like an apology video/ career over video from the outside but then quickly pumped the anti-italian racism to 11 in a segment specifically designed to not allow the separation of john's actions from the thing that gets media coverage

Here's where it picks up. Shanks then kicks it up with Bruz (original video was censored following a lawsuit), a 26 minute long expose' of his career, where Jordan is dressed up in a fancy outfit befitting a mob boss

IN ONE OF JOHN BARILARO'S AIRBNBS

His next (major) move was to go to a shit town in the Riverina (There's a lot of them in NSW) and made a documentary about the government fucking over everyone there. and made a mario kart themed shitpost (listed as Mario's Kart in the lawsuit) after he lost his drivers license.

Following this, we saw videos like How Giovanna Stole A Club He Was Representing and I wasn't even aware I was getting sued for defamation until the media was reporting it

(Playlist of removed videos)

Jordie the legend then handed his lawsuit back dressed as a girl luigi

and the response to that was to get plain clothes secret police to arrest his assistant for trying to hand back a faulty legal paper and then made two entire extra follow up videos

we then saw the lawsuit dismissed, after the deputy premier resigned to pursue a lawsuit against a youtuber. Amongst this, he was also exposed for cheating on his wife after Gladys got hit by the ICAC beam that showed she was giving verrry preferential treatment to the fucking subhuman pieces of SHIT at wagga wagga because she was dating the local MP. The resignations were a couple days apart, and shanks bought champagne for both events.

Now we're back to the current arc of the friendlyjordies anime, here's the starting video: the intro is the big part and it's 32 minutes detailing how they got away with murder, mob-style.

Coronation, being a property development company, is literally the devil alongside rupert murdoch to me, but this video is very important, because it's what lead to

His house was firebombed, and a separate mistake for his live comedy career was the only reason he was alive to make the video. An attempt was made on his life for showing a brutal murder that would've exposed the higher-ups of a company the man he called mario worked. This marks the first time his work as a journalist was respected by the major media companies, because generally firebombing someone is looked down upon.

While the investigation as to who firebombed the house (we had low quality video and he had a pretty good idea of who the man was working for) (it was coronation), he resumed uploads after a bit, with things like the time he worked with youtube channel Boy Boy to gamble sponsor money to show off just how easy it is to launder money with

they found the guy btw

tbh i think the funniest phenomena that's been happening in the last couple years is "youtuber, having gone too deep into the research hole, has been made an investigative journalist against their will"

[northwest-cryptid]

I have this kind of insane ideology towards Mabinogi but the long and short of it is that I feel a vast majority of players are actually playing the game wrong.

Okay no that probably doesn't mean what you think it does. Chances are you have heard from a lot of elitists and higher end veteran players that you're playing "wrong" and that's not it.

What I mean is this, earlier I was watching a new player on stream who was finishing G12. They seem to have come from a background of games like FFXIV and something they remarked at one point is,

"That would have been more fun with a party."

This kinda got me thinking about how they must be viewing the game as a sort of FFXIV player, they're used to playing a role in a party. However the way people play Mabinogi is more akin to being an all arounder. You do everything so that you can do anything on your own.

There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but I don't think it's necessarily the ideal way to go about it. See doing that means you won't need to rely on anyone for anything ever.

You might think that's a good thing, but pay attention to how FFXIV's party system works. Every single member of the party relies on the others. The Tank relies on the healer to keep them alive, the Healer relies on the DPS to burn the mobs before they run out of MP, the DPS rely on the tank to hold aggro so they don't get hit. This is how and why the party works.

If you take a tank like WAR and say "you have healing, you have damage, you can tank; you don't need anyone else." Then the extra players become nothing more than an assist, they're not a necessity. They exist because they make it easier. Which is why WAR has those things, but not nearly enough to do more than take some stress off the other players.

This gets a bit long so you know the drill.

I was talking with a good friend of mine about Mabinogi, and one of the things he was telling me was that he sort of sees it as like; sure it's fun to have everyone have to physically go run off to the raid area, fight through the enemies to get to the boss; and then actually clear a big raid encounter... at least the first time. The problem as he puts it is that it gets tiresome. You basically don't want to have to wait for the guy who forgot something to run all the way there, then all the way back, then all the way back again. Or you don't want to wait for the moon gates to rotate to the specific location you need, you don't want to have to always navigate the map.

Basically the way he explained it is like; that's all cool worldbuilding and flavor and such but after a while players get tired of it all and they don't want the magic of the man behind the curtain, they just want to do the content.

On one hand I do believe there's merit to that, I get what he's saying and it's undeniable that Mabinogi has taken steps to be more like FFXIV in that regard. However I think that the thing players really want is for the man behind the curtain (so to speak) to be necessary. They don't just want the content, that's good on it's own sure. If you give the players a new thing to do, they're going to enjoy it, but if you make it actually necessary to be done in an immersive and interesting way that's groundbreaking.

The problem is that a lot of companies view necessary as mandatory missions and quests and grinding. Not actually a fun or interesting requirement of the player.

I think Mabinogi is at it's best when you're limited in what you can do, and need to rely on others around you. They become the sort of "man behind the curtain" in a sense. No I'm not walking to this beach to mine iron to forge a blade for immersion or something. I'm doing it to be stronger because I want a better weapon. It just so happens that one of my friends is a good enough blacksmith to make the blade and I'm not a skilled blacksmith, so working together we can craft my sword.

The thing is when I brought this up he was like "no not even that, not even the mechanical differences-" and look I know where he is coming from and I get what he's saying. However in doing that he's overlooking something really important about Mabinogi, and I think most players do too.

Take any classic JRPG or just any old RPG for that matter. You have the main characters/party, and then you have the side characters who become part of the main cast but not the main party, the people who assist the party and help them in such a way as to make their journey even possible.

That, in Mabinogi; is other players. The problem comes when someone doesn't NEED those other side characters.

I mean how boring would those JRPGs be if the main character could just... do everything. They could fly the airship so the ol' jaded pilot was never met or recruited to the team. You don't get to meet the guy who can specifically forge special weapons because the main character can just do that. In fact you don't need to meet anyone, you don't need to talk to anyone; you don't need anyone for anything, the main character can just do it all.

Fuck the party, fuck connecting with people in the world and having that give meaning to the world you're working so hard to save. You can do it all yourself!

Yeah... that's not exactly very compelling is it? I think Mabinogi is at it's best when you allow yourself to slow down, stop blitzing through the story, stop mastering every talent; and just make connections with other players who are good at specific things.

These days that's not as organic of a thing that can happen, but I remember back when the game was fairly new and ranking skills was a lot more difficult. You really did have that kind of thing happening. I knew people who used to rely on my weapons, I'd venture into dungeons with them; I wasn't good at combat but I was a skilled blacksmith, if they could get me to the ore I could make them weapons and armor. Back in the day that was actually valued BECAUSE of the fact gear made by players has better stats.

The man behind the curtain served a mechanical purpose that directly effected gameplay. They weren't just dragging some kid through a dungeon. Their party blacksmith was accompanying them through a dungeon to procure ore, it wasn't RP it was mechanical. I'd still assist via campfires and food and such, since my focus was more on life skills than combat back then. I wasn't very good at cooking but I could provide the party with basic stuff to keep their stamina up and I had enough wood and bandages to help patch them up. Since again back in the day you couldn't just blitz through a dungeon spamming 80 overpowered attacks.

The thing about Mabinogi is that there's no necessity, the game doesn't need to give you a party, and these days you need to go out of your way to connect with players. Which isn't easy when a lot of players can't stop seeing everything as progression based.

I saw a wounded player earlier and started healing them just to kinda, lend a hand. They thanked me and all that and I apologized for my healing being so weak stating "I still have a ways to go before I get Harmonic Saint" to which they said "I hope this helps" and I just kinda had to stop because... no my healing is Dan 1 full EXP. I don't NEED to heal you, that's not why I'm doing it. I'm saying I have a ways to go because I know my healing is weaker than just using a potion or something. Not everything is about progression. But if I stop and say "actually I'm maxed on healing" then it becomes "why are you bragging about it after saying your healing is weak?" and shit like that (the player in question did not say this for clarification, but others have in the past, when I merely stated that I don't need to train a skill and was just trying to engage with my fellow players.)

Mabinogi is a game that lets you do anything, and players don't have a need for a party or even connections because they do everything. I love to make gear for my friends, I do Magic Craft and I do Engineering; I'm working on Blacksmithing and Carpentry. I want to be able to help arm them for whatever they're doing. I enjoy making potions and such to assist them. It's fun to be helpful because they're helpful to me. The thing is, a lot of my friends, and myself included; are good in one area of the game, and bad in others.

This isn't really intentional, it's more that I don't NEED to be good at everything because one of my friends can cover what I lack and vice versa. It creates a sense of having a party on a grander scale. I don't actually want dungeons to have to force me into a queue and wait for 4 people to ready up and worry about whether or not I'm pulling too much or going too fast or too slow or if I fuck up a mechanic.

FFXIV is hell as someone with any level of anxiety, I have to look up every dungeon, boss, and raid before I get to experience it. It's a game of spoiling myself so I don't get yelled at, and even then I get told I need to pull more; so I do and I get told I'm pulling too much... BY DPS. My poor healers just sit there trying to wrangle the piece of shit DPS who are backseating the whole experience.

I don't want that. But I understand the want for a party, because I play Mabinogi with a big party; my whole guild functions as a party. We have crafters, we have people who do combat, we have people who do more supportive type gameplay, we have people who do cooking, we have people who do alchemy. Everyone has something they're good at, and they bring that to the table.

The result is that Mabinogi feels more like a traditional JRPG where I'm getting help from the people around me to get me through the journey. I don't run a boss fight and think "wow I wish I had a party for that." I run a boss fight having used potions from one friend, swords from another; food buffs from another, armor forged by another, etc.

What's also fun is that when we DO run group content, everyone has something they're good at; so it's not 5 people spamming the same AoE bullshit clusterfuck kill the whole room magic. It's someone blinding the enemies, or freezing them, or manipulating their movement; so the big DPS melee player can jump in close and take out a big threat. It's our giant swooping in and gathering up all the enemies, or it's our Harmonic Saint buffing the party and optimizing us against a specific target based on the situation, it's my melee focused character covering the physical weakness of my mage based friends who are slinging long ranged attacks across the field to keep the enemies off me while I do so. Watching each other's backs, playing to our strengths.

That's fun. No I'm not some overpowered absolute brick shithouse who can do everything. No I'm not even that strong. But when I run content with my friends we feel like a complete party where everyone matters. Now that's not what EVERYONE wants, but the people who do want it, don't seem to understand they can have that with mabi; they just have to stop trying to play the game like they need to be amazing at everything all the time everywhere all at once.

Pick some things you like, focus on that; let the party cover for you where you're not focused.

I'm really tired so I'm not explaining it very well, but this sort of thing can make the game much more enjoyable because suddenly everyone around you is necessary; they matter and you are limited in your function, but just as necessary for the role you play.

[toinfinitywinning]

Yk I’ve always wondered something w/ the Pro-Birth crowd. When or if that baby identifies as transgender, or needs assistance from the ACA, or free School lunch or let’s get crazy and Go as far as the clean needle exchange—it’s as if their Life ends and they’re not worth it all the sudden. At least hateful Rhetoric, baseless prejudice and lack of Support- funding and laws would suggest that possibility based on other single-issue-voting tropes and fake News of its own.

Should men and their partners have like a condom limit registry? Or keep them locked up like 🦦box Phone cases at Wal☆Mart waiting for the one electronics worker to float around with that jail cell like Key Ring or the one from Titanic when all the water Gates were closing? What would the government need to take from them?

Not like childish quid Pro quo (Adult speak for petty In this example) but like, maybe biweekly urine tests published or mandatory sperm banking with no tracers and be In the next fiction Netflix docu about the true story of the guy with over 1000 children… 🤔

Or, recount sexual encounters to an assigned psychologist In an Out of Network Insurance Plan near you. How invasive and humiliating In order to get it…but sometimes it doesn’t seem like even those things matter. B/c I truly believe that what tr?mp said In 2016 was telling the Truth for once: he could shoot somebody In the middle of Times Square or his..tower w/ the escalator and get away w/ it. Then, camera evidence and sound bites somehow turned fake News so Fast you’d think Dems and TikTok’ers had subscriptions to instantaneous AI creating tools.

Ofc, this includes women Who continue to ✔ote against themselves, too. Women are often proficient against themselves.

Sound ridiculous? Too graphic? Offensive? Yea, kinda. But so is the story of the Woman dying In her car In a hospital parking lot b/c not even malpractice Insurance can save these doctors or women clearly from Life saving care.

But we’re well past that. This isn’t political correctness or canceling or sensitivity & especially if what I’m saying is more offensive than idk “I don’t care about women I just want their ✔ote.”

This tr?mp God Complex with ppl is like their own golden calf. Maybe tr?mp’s bibles (his don’t get the capital B...) left that story out of the Old Testament. In that Case then he’s also selling foldable switchblade hunting knives and minted coins at WEBSITE near you.

The Blue campaign and no campaign is Perfect or without flaw or Offense, horrible people or Biden’s Big mouth and inappropriate comments at times, or apparently the Way Kamala’s laugh and beauty REALLY offends people yk that she slept her Way to the top, but if you are honestly struggling to see any of this I will help you make that T-chart. I’m not eloquent and will curse more than you’d like, but we’ll be fine.

Today’s been annoying for several reasons so taking to FB and being even more annoying, productivity ranting with an End goal was just drumming.

Julia Roberts was Right—women can keep it even at the ballot box. Now had she been In Pretty Woman and saying this she’d be brushed off and incompetent b/c she was an escort. “BIG MISTAKE, yuge.” You know the iconic scene.

Here’s to the men that we love. If you’re In the Alpha Chi Chapter of Sigma Kappa at GC you’ll get that sentence. Full ⭕️.

Deuces.

[sztupy]

“We met a guy who said he was going to vote Labour but wouldn’t now because he had just heard that we were taxing condoms,” said Labour’s Karl Turner, who was first voted in as the MP for Hull East in 2010 and is standing for re-election this time.

“I said, ‘condoms?’ ‘Yeah,’ he said: ‘I just heard on that [pointing to the TV] that you are taxing condoms, and I’m not having it. You’re not getting my vote.’ It was Terence [Turner’s parliamentary assistant] here who worked it out.

“‘We’re taxing non-doms, not condoms,’ I said. ‘Oh,’ he said. ‘Like the prime minister’s wife? Ah.’ He calls out: ‘Margaret: they’re taxing non-doms, not condoms.’”

[bailaconox]

i recognize my bias as someone who grew up alongside tech, but DEAR FUCKING GOD WHY IS LEGAL TECH ABSOLUTELY ANCIENT????????????? PCLaw is so antiquated ... don't get me started on Primafact ... and both companies having garbage socials and shit websites with little to no help or support or documentation for their products ... like a tech company in 2023 should NOT have a nonexistent online presence????

(ok the rant got too long the rest is under the cut ❤️‍🩹)

PF babe you are not keeping up with the times and now i have to suffer every moment i am at work because our office won't upgrade a single piece of HORRIFICALLY OUTDATED AND INEFFICIENT software/hardware/general business workflow practices 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 i lost 11 years of my life today because i found out the (broken) copitrak we have is based on WINDOWS CE FOR FUCKS SAKE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 and our stupid IT is in LITERALLY ONE DAY OF THE WEEK and our MPS doesnt manage a goddamn fucking thing OH MY GOD PLEASE THIS IS AN IT NIGHTMARE?????????? AND MY LOWLY COPYROOM ASSISTANT ASS IS THE ONLY ONE THAT CARES OR PERHAPS EVEN KNOWS MOST OF THIS????????

the lack of communication and efficiency is stressing me out so bad 😭💔 god i wish i had literally any power whatsoever to change things but i don't even really have a boss to bring this to ?? also our IT guy is never in and is condescending as SHIT so talking to him is absolutely pointless... like i WANT to help and i WANT to change things for the better but i have no one overseeing anything i do so im often forgotten and ignored and GOD DAMN I AM SO UNDERUTILIZED PLEASE JESUS CHRIST LET ME HELP YOU FOOLS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hardynwa]

UK special forces operated secretly in Nigeria – Report

The British Special Air Service and the European country’s other special forces have operated clandestinely in Nigeria and 18 other nations over the past 12 years, research has revealed. It could be recalled that in 2012, a group of SBS commandos attempted and failed to rescue a Briton and an Italian held by an Islamist group in Nigeria. The Guardian UK reported that the British SAS also operated secretly in Algeria, Estonia, France, Oman, Iraq, Kenya, Libya, Mali, Cyprus, Pakistan, Somalia, the Philippines, Russia, Syria, Ukraine, Yemen and most recently Sudan. The elite military units don’t have ministers publicly certifying their operations, thus, they operate covertly. But, based on media leaks, a research organisation called Action on Gun Violence has compiled a list of their operations from 2011, the online newspaper added in a May 23, 2023 report titled, ‘UK special forces have operated secretly in 19 countries since 2011, It gives the impression that the prime minister and defence secretary frequently send personnel of the SAS, Special Boat Service, and Special Reconnaissance Regiment on dangerous operations, usually when Britain is not at war. Special forces have been particularly active in Syria, with reports of them entering the country in 2012 to help rebel groups fighting against President Bashar al-Assad. They are also reported to have been sent in 2013 to identify military targets in advance of a bombing campaign that MPs ended up voting against. But because of the fixation with secrecy, Matt Tonroe, a member of the SAS, was officially identified as a member of the Parachute Regiment when he was murdered in Syria in 2018. It was later discovered that he had actually been killed by his US colleague’s grenade, not an improvised explosive device. Although Britain is not an official participant in the conflict, 50 members of the UK special forces were named as being present in Ukraine earlier this year in leaked Pentagon documents. The numbers for the US and France were listed as being 14 and 15, respectively. Nonetheless, their goal was left unstated. The lengthy list of deployments, according to the report’s authors, occurred despite a lack of control. Even though special forces can be deployed without the Commons’ consent and are not subject to parliamentary committee investigations, etiquette requires that MPs vote to authorise a war. After a terrorist massacre of 38 people, including 30 Britons, at a beach hotel in Tunisia in June 2015, it was once claimed that David Cameron, the country’s then-prime minister, had granted the SAS “carte blanche” to apprehend or murder Middle Eastern Islamic leaders. “The extensive deployment of Britain’s Special Forces in numerous countries over the past decade raises serious concerns about transparency and democratic oversight,” said Iain Overton, the executive director of AOAV. “The lack of parliamentary approval and retrospective reviews for these missions is deeply troubling.” Yet in March, a public investigation into claims that the SAS committed 54 summary executions in Afghanistan in 2010 and 2011—typically during night raids—began. Guys were taken away from their families and shot dead several times after being accused of producing a weapon. Following the start of violence in Sudan in April, special forces helped evacuate two dozen British diplomats and their families to an airfield north of the capital when they were in danger of being attacked. At the time, current defence secretary and Tory MP Ben Wallace commended the military effort. The operation, according to the Ministry of Defence, also included troops of the Royal Marines, the RAF, and the Parachute Regiment, although it omitted special forces. Special forces routinely take part in both exfiltrations and hostage rescues. A couple detained in the Philippines was successfully released in 2019 in a mission that UK special forces assisted in preparing and for which it trained the country’s military. In 2012, a group of SBS commandos attempted and failed to rescue a Briton and an Italian held by an Islamist group in Nigeria. The last time SAS members were referenced in the media was in 2014 when a tabloid claimed they were “on hand” to guard the safety of British athletes at the Sochi Winter Olympics. Read the full article

[ayeforscotland]

Guy was collecting an MSP and an MPs salary (both full-time jobs in their own right) while also cashing in a football assistant referees salary.

Douglas Ross resigns as Scottish Tory leader.

[mottlemoth]

I'm not sure if you answer these, but I thought I'd give it a go! I'm new to Mystrade and really want to write it, but I'm struggling massively.

I'm not from the UK, so the police ranks confuse me a little, and I'm really struggling with just... getting started. I notice with your stories you always have an excellent understanding of police, detectives etc. Is this just from living in the UK, or researching? (P.s. I'm not lazy, I swear I've tried to research but I cant find any reliable resources).

I want to write an AU where Greg and Mycroft meet in different circumstances, mainly work, but I cant think of how to crowbar them together without understanding Scotland Yard hierarchy. It's so damn hard to write about a detective - I'm too used to writing about vampires and werewolves, lol.

Thank you in advance if you do read this - and I absolutely adore your writing, it is just wonderful and the perfect introduction to Mystrade ♥️

You're 100% right that it's hard to research police ranks in the UK, so don't feel bad if you've struggled ❤️ The police are constantly reorganising and renaming things, which means resources end up out of date very quickly. The Metropolitan Police Service (i.e., Scotland Yard) also has a slightly different system to the rest of the UK, which doesn't help.

If I tried to do a short guide to the whole of the British police force, firstly it wouldn't be short, and secondly I'd constantly be saying "but this doesn't apply to Greg" or "it's different in London so don't actually use this" - instead I'll focus on London for purposes of Mystrade.

I'll also keep it quite general and basic because this is for fanfic writers, not historians/experts.

*all details as correct as I can make them at the time of writing - February 2022*

(1) What is the Metropolitan Police?

Sometimes known as the MPS, the Met, Scotland Yard or (more historically) the Old Bill or the Yard, the Metropolitan Police Service are responsible for policing Greater London... except one tiny area. The central financial district have their own separate force, the City of London Police, who largely specialise in financial crimes like fraud. Ignore these guys for purposes of Mystrade. Greg belongs to the Metropolitan Police, who are also responsible for (1) UK-wide counter-terrorism initiatives (*sparkly Mycroft link stars*) and (2) protection of the Royal Family and members of the UK Government (*further sparkle*).

(2) Who is in charge of the Metropolitan Police?

Riiiight at the top of the tree sits the Mayor of London. She or he appoints a Deputy Mayor for Policing and Crime, who runs the Mayor's Office for Policing and Crime (MOPAC).

These people are politicians rather than police officers, and they don't hold any rank in the police. They distantly supervise and make broader political decisions. You don't really have to know much about these folks.

(The Home Secretary will occasionally be involved with the Metropolitan Police over nationwide security issues, like terrorism. Mycroft probably went to school with any given Home Secretary.)

The actual head of the Metropolitan Police is known as the Commissioner. Our current commissioner is Cressida Dick. She has a Deputy Commissioner, who is her second in command. Both of these people are appointed by the Queen, in consultation with the Mayor of London and the Home Secretary. The Commissioner answers to the Mayor's Office for Policing and Crime (MOPAC), the Mayor, the Home Secretary, and more broadly to the people of London.

After the Deputy Commissioner come four Assistant Commissioners, appointed by the Mayor of London and the Home Secretary, who each govern one of the following areas ('directorates'):

Specialist Operations

Frontline Policing

Professionalism

Met Operations

These six people (Commissioner, Deputy Commissioner and 4 x Assistant Commissioners) make up the management board of Scotland Yard.

Now I'm going to be frank with you here. There's a lot of overlap between the four directorates and they're always swapping responsibilities, so just forget about three of them for now.

Hold onto Frontline Policing - that's where Greg will be.

The Assistant Commissioner has a Deputy Assistant Commissioner, then there are commanders, who are... basically deputy Deputy Assistant Commissioners... they were going to phase this rank out in 2018, but eventually decided against it. Who knows? I kinda just ignore commanders. I imagine their job is mostly emails and golf.

Next, we need to chop Greater London up into smaller, more manageable chunks. These geographic areas are today known as Basic Command Units - so for example, Central South BCU covers Lambeth and Southwark. Before 2000, big areas of London used to be called divisions (hence 'not our division'). There were also 32 of them. In 2018, they merged those 32 geographic areas into just 12. (We can assume Greg's use of 'division' means he's been a part of the London police force since before the Millennium.)

Each BCU/division/unit of the Metropolitan Police Service has a chief superintendent in charge of it.

And finally, we've reached a rank seen in Sherlock.

So... this guy is a chief superintendent. He's the most senior person Greg will encounter on a week to week basis. They're all terrified of him in the show because within his division, his word is law. Above the rank of Chief Superintendent (so Assistant Commissioners, etc) the job is often more politician than police officer - they'll be concerned with policy, strategy and so on. The chief superintendent is the one shouting at you, asking why you haven't solved the murder yet. And yes, it is against the law to chin them.

Below the chief superintendent come his deputies, superintendents. Then below those come the ranks you're more likely to have heard of (and more likely to be writing):

Chief inspector

Inspector

Sergeant

Constable

A division/unit will typically have loads of constables, plenty of sergeants, a nice handful of inspectors, and then just a few chief inspectors. For reference, London as a whole has about 25,000 constables, 4500 sergeants, 1200 inspectors and 300 chief inspectors, spread across all units.

(Are the GIFs helping? I hope they're helping xDD)

You have to take a special exam to advance from being a constable to a sergeant, then another one to become an inspector.

In the show, Greg probably ranks as inspector, though there's a newspaper glimpsed at one point which seems to name him as a chief inspector. I've bumped him up to chief inspector in a few fics, for reasons which I'll move into soon.

(3) How does 'detective inspector' come into it?

So, what's the difference between an inspector and a detective inspector?

Very broadly, 'ordinary' police officers (who focus on preventing crimes and responding to them) are known as constable, sergeant, inspector, etc.

Once someone has been in uniform for at least two years, they might decide they want to specialise their career around solving more complex crimes. They'll apply to join the Criminal Investigation Department (CID). It takes about two years to train, in which time they'd be known as Trainee Detective Constable Whoever - then after passing an exam, they become known as Detective Constable.

If they do well, they'll hopefully be promoted in time to Detective Sergeant, Detective Inspector and then Detective Chief Inspector.

Detectives might work at solving crimes on their own, or they might work in teams. You might have seen other British crime dramas where there's one detective inspector followed everywhere by his trusty sergeant. It's not always like that, especially for more serious crimes. (Sometimes, if a crime seems to be very straightforward, they might even just send a detective constable out to clear it up. It all depends how messy things appear to be at first glance.)

At the rank of Detective Chief Inspector, you'd be leading teams in solving more serious or more complicated crimes. Every crime in British policing is assigned an SIO, a Senior Investigating Officer, whose job it is to manage the crime-solving team and push things towards a conclusion. They usually hold the rank of at least chief inspector, though often they're superintendents. Sometimes the SIO sits behind his desk the whole time, just reading the reports sent in by his team. Sometimes they get more hands on. It depends on the resources of the unit and the scale of the crime.

I'll often promote Greg to Detective Chief Inspector Lestrade because it gives him the opportunity to be a Senior Investigating Officer. He'll have more freedom to make command decisions, and he's more likely to be called on to give testimony in court.

(4) Which division/BCU does Greg belong to?

This isn't fully specified in the show, so I'm just going to lay out my best guess. You guys are very welcome to borrow my thinking.

I don't think Greg is assigned to a BCU (a particular geographic area). He's seen solving police work all over London, and he's clearly based at Scotland Yard itself, so I think it's more likely that he belongs to a central specialised unit dealing with a specific type of crime.

As of February 2019, the best fit for Greg is Homicide and Major Crimes Command. Sally Donovan is right that a break-in at the Tower of London really isn't Greg's division but he'll want it.

Earlier in his career, he might have spent a few years working in an area of London with a high rate of murders, gained a lot of experience in investigating them, then applied to join the specialist unit.

The joy of using 'major crimes' as Greg's division is that it can flex to fit all sorts of things. Great news for fic writers.

It also explains why his chief superintendent is hella scary. You'd have to be tough as nails to become head of the murder division at Scotland Yard.

(5) How can Mycroft get involved?

It's a fun challenge if you're sticking to canon, because Greg is clearly very specialised in CID. He's also one of the ground troops who answer to a chief superintendent. If Mycroft ever has dealings with the Metropolitan Police, he's probably going to be dealing with the more-politician-than-police-officer ranks like Assistant Commissioner, who occupy the very highest branches of the tree. He might even go directly to the Home Secretary and tell them just to pass his orders downward.

Mycroft's most obvious connections to Scotland Yard are through things like counter-terrorism or protection command - sadly these fall under Specialist Operations rather than Frontline Policing, where Greg is.

But here are some ideas off the top of my head for how the two directorates could overlap.

An ordinary-looking murder investigated by Greg turns out to involve international terrorism.

An ordinary-looking murder turns out to be part of a threat against a government minister or a member of the royal family.

An important political figure (or a member of the royal family, etc) is murdered. Importantly, Greg is nearby when it happens and becomes the first officer on the scene. This makes him what's known as the Initial Responding Officer, responsible for preserving the integrity of the scene and recording his initial observations. He'd be in charge until someone more senior can get there and his first thoughts would be considered vital evidence. This could happen at the Diogenes maybe, or even at Baker Street.

Mycroft already knows and trusts Greg through Greg's friendship with Sherlock. He might request that Greg is assigned to investigate a particularly sensitive crime - this request is likely to have come 'through the Mayor's Office', filtered down anonymously via commissioner, assistant commissioner and then Greg's boss, the chief superintendent. You might want to promote Greg to Detective Chief Inspector if you're using this idea, so he can act as an SIO (Senior Investigating Officer).

If you're heading into AU territory, Mycroft might make an excellent Assistant Commissioner. He would work primarily at Scotland Yard and could well encounter Greg in the hallway. If Mycroft is Assistant Commissioner of Frontline Policing, he would be Greg's boss's boss, senior to the chief superintendent who commands Greg's unit. Or if he's Assistant Commissioner of Special Operations, he'd be linked to things like national security, counter-terrorism and Protection Command (protecting important figures like the Royal Family). If you want to know a bit more about Assistant Commissioners and their career backgrounds, here are Wikipedia biographies on the current four ( 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 ).

If you don't want Mycroft to be a ranked police officer, he could also work in (or consult for) one of the admin directorates at Scotland Yard, staffed by civilians. They are:

Digital and Technology (currently led by a Chief Digital and Technology Officer)

Corporate Services (led by a Chief of Corporate Services, with sub-directors overseeing Media and Communication, Legal Services, Human Resources, Strategy & Governance, Transformation, Property Services, Finance and Commercial)

This post has gone on for some time now, so it's probably best if I draw things to a close xDD I hope it's been at least partly helpful.

I'm more than happy to try and answer further queries - just drop me a message. Don't worry if it takes me a few days to get back to you. I don't have as much free time on my hands as I used to ❤️