#moving forward au

[anonymousboxcar]

Moving Forward AU: Romance?

(This was something I meant to have out by Valentine’s Day, but… yeah. No spoons. The silverware drawer was empty. Apologies for the lateness, folks!)

I’m pondering what romantic shenanigans Stanley might get up to in my AU. I imagine it would be years before he felt up to pursuing that kind of relationship. But once he’s had time to settle into his new normal, process his trauma, and make new friends, he might feel more comfortable with it.

One possibility I see is that he and Duncan decide to give it a try!

I like the idea of Duncan falling for this rough n’ ready, plainspoken engine who helps him not blow up over the little things in life. And for awhile, Stanley is too busy adjusting to his new life to see it. But he feels ever fonder of his grumpy friend who makes him laugh and doesn’t ask him to be patient all the time.

Once they sort themselves out, they’re not ones for extravagant gestures. They do what they did before, watching tapes of George Carlin and cracking jokes, with the new understanding between them. It’s very easygoing and comfortable for them both.

(There’s also an ongoing competition between them to call each other the most ridiculous, nauseating pet names possible.)

Another possibility: you know how there’s a notion in the RWS of engines being paired up with coaches, almost “courting” them? I like to think Stanley scoffs at this. It seems silly and quaint to him. But he’s also rejecting any closeness due to his old, ingrained fears surrounding derailments and getting somebody hurt.

And then, at the rail museum, he meets a truck.

The truck works with Stanley in his capacity as an exhibit on trench railways. They used to carry troops and supplies during WWI, though not on the same railway as Stanley’s old wartime circuit. At the museum, they haul passengers around the grounds.

They notice Stanley’s uneasiness over this business and try to reassure him: “So what if you slide off the track? I blew up once!”

“…what?”

“Well, it was a ways ahead of me in the train. Got a face full of shrapnel and a bent axle. But! Point is, I’ve had worse. I can take a bump or two.”

Full of irrepressible cheer and optimism, the truck helps assuage the worst of Stanley’s anxieties. In return, Stanley — grateful and a touch bemused — does his best to give smooth rides. This wins him the trust of the truck, who never experienced such gentleness in an unpatronizing package.

They start chatting on their runs and at the end of the day about museum gossip, guests, and their old lives. The truck shares their adventures with other trucks after the war. Stanley tells the truck about operation on a more typical railway like the SKR.

Hearing about Skarloey and Rheneas’ treatment of their coaches, the truck wonders what it’s like to be treated the way a civilian engine treats their coach. Stanley, thinking of his own struggles to fit into a “normal” railway on the MSR, offers to help. The truck accepts.

Stanley stumbles over calling the truck “dear,” as well as the other typical flowery compliments and language. He’s self-conscious and a little embarrassed by the time the day’s over.

But he’s also flustered by the warmth in the truck’s responses, their own compliments towards him. They’re not flowery, demure, nor outrageous, but honest and open.

The truck, seeing how red in the face he is, apologizes for making him uncomfortable. “You already made me feel respectable, proper-like, before I asked you to do this.”

Stanley admits he liked their compliments. “Just didn’t know what to with ‘em, I guess,” he says. “But… I really did like ‘em. Made me feel good.”

“Oh. Well, you can tell me that, if you like.” The truck looks Stanley in the eye. “You can tell me anything. I won’t laugh.”

“Not even if I ask you to keep doin’ what you did today?”

“Not even that. Though — if I’m honest? I’d like it if you kept up your end of things, too.”

So they keep at it. Their exchanges become more natural, more like second nature over time. They become mixed into casual conversation, become less about meeting expectations of engine-rolling stock relations and more about what they like in each other.

After a certain point, one curious child visitor asks for how long they’ve been married.

A pause follows. It’s long enough for Stanley to realize he isn’t surprised or confused by the child’s assumption. It’s long enough for him and the truck to make significant eye contact, to see his happiness and hope reflected back at him.

“A year,” they both say at the same time, smiling.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

holding hands during stressful situations

Hardy and Bill pls

Here we go, more Illogical Husbands for you guys.

On with the fic!

--

Hardy could hear Bill in their bedroom, his voice muffled behind the closed door. From what the detective could tell, his husband was pacing as he spoke on the phone with whoever was on the other line.

It was about Virginia, that much Hardy knew.

The call had come in about twenty minutes ago, while they were sitting together in the living room. The number on Bill's phone screen read Virginia, and he answered it, expecting her to be on the other line.

No, it was her new husband, and Hardy barely caught what was going on. Something about her being in the hospital. Bill was up and out of the room in seconds, the door to the bedroom closed behind him. Hardy found himself sitting out in the hall, waiting for Bill to finish, knowing the man was probably not in the mood to talk if this was a very serious matter (and it sounded like it), but Hardy was still going to be there for him.

He heard his husband's voice get softer, then it was quiet. A moment later, the door opened and he could see that Bill looked exhausted and drained, emotionally.

He glanced at Hardy, raising an eyebrow, silently asking why his husband was sitting on the floor in the hall.

Hardy didn't reply, just held out his hand, offering it to him. Bill hesitated, then took it, sitting down next to Hardy. He didn't let go of his hand as he leaned his head on Hardy's shoulder, explaining that there had been a car accident, they said she'll be fine, but it was still a serious crash and that she'll need some surgery for her leg.

They had long since broken up, moved on, but Hardy knew his husband still cared about his business partner and friend (and ex-lover). So, he couldn't blame Bill for being worried anyway, he'd be the same if something terrible happened to Tess, even after everything that happened to cause their divorce.

He turned his head, kissing the top of Bill's head. "She'll be okay."

Bill nodded, making an affirmative noise.

"You'll be okay." Hardy said quietly, giving his hand a squeeze. It was returned a second later.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[cubbihue]

Uhm is Chimmy Changa doing well? Its seems he has started to divert from what changelings are supposed to do and act like is the static not staticing correctly is he become aware that something is wrong?

Diverting? Well we can’t have that!!!!

Don’t worry. I’ve increased the noise since our last interference. If it happens again, we will issue a good reset!! Thank you for your report.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[hey-hey-j]

"Maybe they let him go, or—or he left, or.... I don't know!"

"Then why wouldn't he come looking for us? For him?"

"I—..... I don't know!"

I'd love to take this further but I am currently stuck on dialogue 🙃

......there's always the third option none of them want to think too hard about :)

[muffinlance]

Do you get the impression the live action is treating us like utter morons?? Like I thought that making it aimed at an older audience would open the doors for more subtle story telling, but no, they're just using monologues to tell us eveything! Like in the second episode Katara's like 'oh his power isn't that he's the avatar, it's that he ~connects~ to people'. Girl we're not idiots we can see that!! And the first episode with Aang's goddawful 'I don't want this responsibility' monologue

THIS, YES. The word that keeps coming to mind is definitely "subtlety". The show for literal children? Had it. The remake for adults? Not so much.

[daranatsus]

Life Moves On

Commentary under the cut!

Sooo I was originally going to make the full design before posting this, but sifloop beckoned me to draw this.

This takes place post-canon, around 5 or so years after the events of Two Hats and the main ending. All his friends eventually split up as life calls them in different directions. Mirabelle goes back to Dormont after a long pilgrimage with the family (including Nille). Isabeau ends up starting an internship with clothing designer with the hopes of starting his own clothing business. Bonnie and Nille still travel around, but that becomes more difficult once Bonnie goes back into school. Lastly, Odile goes back to Ka Bue after a long journey with Siffrin.

Within the main AU (can it be called that if it's supposed to be a continuation of the main story?) Siffrin has to navigate a world without the support of their companions. Turns out, having no goals for the future besides being with your friends makes it really hard to have a purpose in life!

Eventually, he becomes an astronomer after some support from some people he met (I wonder what could have motivated this, teehee~!). This is also when gets a new outfit. They still keep their original one, but it's mostly used for when they know they're going on a long journey since their og cape self regulating temperature craft.

The sifloop is more implied than anything else (so far). After all their friends go their separate ways, Siffrin gets some special earrings as to remember Loop by. They occasionally dream about them. Sometimes it's sad, sometimes it's happy. He's just glad that he gets to see them in any way.

I did not mean for this to get this long... UH anyways! Have this music playlist that I'm going to use as inspiration for this AU!

[suhnshinehaos]

my heart dropped when i read the statement that sm put out re: taeil, genuinely the last thing i expected to read today. i’m shocked, disappointed, but most of all- i’m angry.

angry at what he’s done, angry at seeing some fans defend him, angry at those turning this into a gotcha moment to promote or lift their faves up. please, this isn’t just some discussion on the internet- there is a very real victim, a very real woman at the heart of all this. i hope she gets the justice and healing she deserves.

[queenbeekb13]

AU where Simon does go with Edwin to escape Hell and Edwin convinced him + crew that he should stay on with them. After a few awkward weeks Edwin and Simon eventually become friendly (Edwin has someone new to infodump to who is clearly attentive and also someone who understands what’s it’s like to be displaced from his specific time) and maybe Simon even gets brave and a lil flirty now that he knows he and Edwin ARE the same (gay) and that Edwin has forgiven him since the whole murder WAS an accident…..

Meanwhile Charles is perpetually in the background absolutely seething bc that’s the boy who’s responsible for his best mate ending up in Hell (and also he’s super jealous)

[amielot]

They head back to the barn when the rain lets up.

@arialerendeair def gave inspo for this one hehe

[anonymousboxcar]

RWS Stanley Time: Museum Edition

In my posts about my Moving Forward AU, I’ve talked a lot about Stanley on the SKR. So here’s tidbits about his life at the museum!

———————————

-Stanley pulls visitor trains around the museum grounds. He doesn’t like being an indoor exhibit, but he can manage being stationary if visitors see him in his shed with the doors open.

-The museum primarily uses him as an example of a trench engine, educating its visitors about trench railways. As part of his job, he’ll explain his class and his WWI service to visitors.

-If guests ask about his MSR days, he’ll wince. But he’ll still talk about them. It’s important for people to know how railways used to treat their engines, even if it’s difficult to talk about.

-Stanley also shares embarrassing stories about the MSR management. Is it petty? Yes.

-Does he delight anyways in generations of children knowing That Time Manager Fell in a Scummy Pond Trying to Catch His Hat? Yes.

-It can be difficult for him to discuss WWI, too. But unlike the MSR management, he respected and befriended the soldiers. Those young men never left him behind. He wants to make sure people remember them — and what they endured.

-On Remembrance Day, he wears his wartime livery. He also pulls replicas of the rolling stock he hauled in the trenches. He tells guests about names and faces, about in-jokes and tragedies.

-For the most part, Stanley gets along well with the visitors. He’s still a little rough around the edges, but he’s a smooth runner and he’s patient while answering questions…

-…unless you’re rude to him, other engines, or other guests. Then he’ll make a game out of telling you off without violating museum policy about “professional language.” And he’s very creative.

-He credits Neil with teaching him how to interact with visitors. In fact, Neil showed him the ropes of museum life in general.

-In return for helping him adjust, Stanley covers Neil’s work during Skarloey’s visits so he can spend more time with him.

-Because he goes back and forth between the SKR and the museum, Stanley is popular with the museum’s full-time residents. They crave information about “the outside,” hounding him for news and gossip.

-He spills the tea during a weekly occasion: To practice for his poker nights with Duke, Skarloey, and Rheneas, he teaches the museum engines how to play. One of the coffeepots is his star protégé.

-But there’s one person with whom Stanley isn’t popular — George.

-I don’t have any justification for how it happens, but I like to think George winds up at the museum after his company retires him. He demonstrates how little sense he learned when he tries to razz other “has-been, useless” engines in front of Stanley.

-George says he’s only being honest. Stanley snaps back that since George is out of service, he’s describing himself, too.

-George hates Stanley for this. He either tries to goad him or sulks whenever he goes by. For his part, Stanley manages not to waste too much time needling him.

-However, others notice that if anyone else tries to trash-talk Stanley, George shuts it down with the insistence that only he gets to do that. It’s up for debate if this is a sign of character growth or not. Stanley, who learned the value of hope, spares a little bit for George.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

I saw the prompt list you reblogged and “nose boops” with the illogicals sounds absolutely adorable! Of course, only if you want to do it :)

Has there been a sudden resurgence in interest in the Illogical Husbands when I wasn't looking? Because I've gotten a number of requests for them lately, haha.

Still not sure how I feel about making content for this ship, but I'm still in the mood to write, so here we go.

On with the fic!

--

Really, it was nearly impossible to get either of them to get out of work mode once they entered it, Hardy was very well aware of this, but Bill could be so much worse when he was working on a new paper.

He found his husband in his private office in their home, typing away at his laptop with a focused determination. He only stopped his typing to either look over his notes, one of the books he was using for reference, or to remember that there was a cold mug of coffee he was supposed to be drinking. Hardy rolled his eyes, leaning against the door way, before saying Bill's name.

Just like the seven times he had tried before, he got no response, minus the occasional 'hm', meaning that Bill was only slightly aware of him being there. Hardy moved from the doorway and walked into the room to stand next to the doctor, who was gnawing his poor pencil to death as he looked over some handwritten notes. Hardy cleared his throat, but there was no response, just Bill erasing something, then writing down a few more words.

"Bill." Hardy tried again, still, nothing.

"Bill Masters, it will be here when you get back."

Again, no response, just more typing. Hardy was tempted to unplug the computer, but that was cruel, even for him. Maybe he could dump the cold coffee on Bill? Nah, then they'd have a mess to clean up.

He looked at his husband, at the glasses perched on his nose, slipping down a bit. It was childish, really, but still...

"Boop."

Bill made a weird sound, sitting back, blinking a few times as Hardy took back his hand. The doctor looked at him, confused. "Did you... did you just poke the tip of my nose?"

"I believe the kids these days call it booping." Hardy replied, trying to act like he hadn't just done something so ridiculous. "Come on, put down the papers and pencil, it's time for dinner."

"No, it isn't, should be lunch..." Bill looked at the clock on the wall, frowning. "Ah. Yes, I do believe you're right. Did you really let me sit here all day?"

"Did you not even notice that you ate lunch while you sat at your desk?" Hardy asked as he picked up an empty plate.

Bill looked embarrassed, wasn't the first time he ate without paying attention to the fact that he had. "Right, well. Dinner time then." He got up from his seat, stretched, then looked at Hardy funny. "Really? Touching my nose?"

"It worked to get your attention, didn't it?"

[artscheese]

These two clowns together for my au!!

(Also a bit of a revival of the Vincent key art)

[lizzylucky]

Draxum hadn't accounted for the fact that when he gave four hatchling turtles the DNA of a human being in order to give them greater intelligence, he would effectively be making himself a surrogate father to actual children, with wildly different needs.

When he sent his gargoyles to obtain a sample of DNA from Big Mama's prized warrior, the intention was to create his own. They were to be the prototypes for an army of simple creatures with just enough heightened intelligence to learn combat and follow commands, that he might defend Yokai kind with.

Instead, he quickly discovered the integration of human DNA had been a little over successful in allowing his test subjects to learn and think and feel in a civilized manner, going so far as to override some of their natural instincts as turtles that would otherwise allow them to learn to care for themselves. He had to feed them, by hand, with bottles.

Like infants.

They were easily distraught by unfamiliar things, and quickly became dependent on Draxum in every sense of the word. They babbled, they cried, they explored things with their hands, their tails, their mouths.

It was an unplanned adjustment needed to be made, but no matter. If anything, learning to understand the new hybrid emotions of these turtles would allow Draxum greater advantages when they grew enough to safely learn combat. Preferences, likes and dislikes, needs, diet, and so on, all became more complex areas of study.

Even a couple years in, he found himself continually surprised. Brain scans had shown that the turtles were more intelligent, still, than anticipated. They, truly, seemed more human in mind and function than anything else, with only some base instincts and behaviors left to influence their personalities. They retained many reptilian traits, but overall had the bipedal anatomy and function of humans and some Yokai. It had been an infuriating discovery at first, but Draxum had to admit that over time he became fond of it.

Each turtle had developed his own personality. The eldest, for example, had a love of plush toys, and showed a fierce protective instinct over the others. The youngest, Draxum had learned, was contrastedly reckless and excitable, not nearly so reserved or gentle as the first. Additionally, he was, decidedly, to be kept away from any and every writing utensil unless under strict supervision (unfortunately, this was learned a little too late, as was evidenced by the clear markings left in several work benches). Then, of course, were the slider and the softshell, who had the most bizarre relationship. They were constantly fighting with each other, but utterly inseparable, and each showed an incredible and unique curiosity, constantly exploring and watching and studying, with concentration filling their eyes in ways Draxum had never seen in other children so young.

Embarrassingly, it took another couple years before Draxum realized he couldn't simply refer to them by their species' names. It certainly was effective, but they were not the mild, simple creatures he had once expected them to be, and he knew that they never would.

Now, they were vocal, playful, inquisitive... energetic. By the gods, were they energetic. They never stopped moving, never stopped talking, never stopped eating, never stopped wanting or needing.

...This is why Draxum never had children of his own. It took all the time and energy he had to spare, and then some. Although it would be a lie to say he wished they were any other way.

They had so much capacity to learn, and with their emotional propensity could one day come to understand exactly why Draxum was doing this, which he knew would be an edge in their combative styles.

As he introduced them, slowly, to more of the world's culture and knowledge, he felt, in a new way, that their very existences were revolutionary. A perfect, synergistic unity between two entirely different families of genetic material, with numerous enhanced abilities. And they were children. They maintained all the properties of regular children, but had so much more in store! Such grand destinies! They would be, inarguably, the greatest warriors of their time when they were grown. They would be the compassionate, skillful heroes of all Yokai, the first of a new generation of super mutants, and the key to overcoming the evils of the humans who had overtaken the surface and posed such threat to all who lived below.

It was with great reluctance that he allowed himself to accept, however, that not all of mankind was evil. There were many forms of art, beautiful in different ways, there were some rare people filled with kindness, inventions that utilized resources in ways Yokai kind had never thought to. Perhaps he had been a little stubborn in his ways, a bias cementing over time that blinded him to some of the beauty that did yet exist in such a species.

Make no mistake, humans were a threat. Innocent families lived in fear, in hiding, of the governments and ruthless sciences designed to invade, to blaspheme the name of knowledge, with no regard for the safety of this people.

Draxum could live with being an outlaw to the Yokai if his experiments would lead to their salvation. He may be their villain in today's papers, but in history books he would be a hero.

Still, he wished to amend some of his practices. Even if only to his turtles, he would be known for his ability to change and understand. He would be fair, and he would be truthful.

And so it was that he told the turtles the nature of their existence. Perhaps he muted some of the details, to protect their minds until they had more understanding, but he would not lie to them about their DNA. He told them of Lou Jitsu, and their human genetics, and he begrudgingly allowed them access to the culture of the humans. He would let them choose their interests unbiased.

In the process, he came to know of some of the revolutionaries of human history. Though he wasn't particularly inclined to believe there were no evils involved, he was intrigued by the strange moral code that the humans boasted from their different time periods. The turtles, as well, were fascinated by the stories of war heroes and generals, seamstresses and inventors, artists and royalty.

Initially, when it came time to redesignate his turtles, Draxum had been inclined toward the names of those whose legacies persisted in the humans' culture even today- perhaps a president for the slider, a scientist for the softshell, a great general for the snapper, and an artist for the young box turtle. It seemed, somehow, clandestinely right; carefully considered to exemplify each of their personalities.

And although he had begun to get used to the possibility of names like "Monroe" and "Edison", his indecision on the matter seemed to be working against him. He was taking too long, and the boys were growing smarter.

It was a day in August, later that year, that he found his two youngest arguing over a Renaissance book, oddly enough. The elder two took to a game of knocking "secret patterns" on each other's carapaces, which he dismissed before he could allow himself the confusion that came with wondering why a five year old would want to knock on a spiked shell for fun.

After breaking up the fight and confiscating the book (which, as it turned out, the youngest only wanted because it had pictures in it, much to the chagrin of the other, who insisted that reading it was much better than just looking at the pictures), Draxum found himself idly flipping through pages of rustic images and rudimentary ideas, developed by people with strange names.

Maybe he was simply too tired to consider it properly, but, feeling defeated in his endeavor, he chose four names at random and assigned them to the young turtles, deciding it had been long enough.

It took a while to get used to, but soon "Raphael", "Leonardo", "Donatello", and "Michaelangelo" truly fit.

Over time, the boys grew... ravenous. They devoured everything- food, information, technique. They were learning quickly everything Draxum taught them. They practiced with Huginn and Muninn, leapt up, around, over, and through everything in the lab, and took special interest in action-filled films.

And Draxum grew fonder. He wasn't entirely surprised, of course; it's natural to develop some sense of sentimentality when caring for anything this long. Even if they had been the simple minded turtles he expected, he knew this was inevitable, to a degree.

What startled him was the sudden sense of fear that came with watching them train. The alarm that made his heart beat harder when one of them fell from somewhere high or any time they ran simple drills with weapons not blunted and made from wood.

He subtly began to intensify their defensive strategies, taught them where they were most vulnerable so they could protect those spots, insisted on perfecting their abilities to parry, block, and dodge before anything else.

And, over time, he found himself training them less often than before, thinking, "I must preserve their innocence and prolong their childhood experiences". After all, it was an essential part of development, was it not? If it were tarnished too much, they might become unwise or unjust as warriors. And, really, Raphael was only 8 years old, and he was the eldest; they were much too young to be exposed to the harshness of what their combative training was really for.

He told himself that, time and time again. He told them that, making certain they understood that their training was not a game. It wasn't untrue, certainly.

Really, he just wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to admit to what extent he cared about them, because it was too much. It was more than he could ever have been prepared for. It was more than that passion to protect Yokai kind ever was, and if he ever realized that, he might become the compromise to his own purposes, to the very reason these turtles exist this way to begin with, and then what? What was he to tell them, why was he to train them, who did they exist for if not the inhabitants of the Hidden City?

No. He couldn't do that. He simply would not allow it, not when so much was at stake.

And yet...

More and more often he desired simply to watch them. He was growing weary with worry, and with that tight feeling that arose in his chest each time one of his boys so much as frowned.

Raphael loved to carry his brothers on his shoulders. And he prided himself on being the big brother, in every way. He liked repeating instructions Draxum gave to the others, and tended to play caretaker anytime someone was sad, or had a bruised knee. He often played the "bad guy" in their made up games so the younger ones could "win", he was the mediator in big decisions, like what book they should read before bed, and he seemed always ready with an armful of stuffed animals when he wanted to express affection. So strong, incredibly strong, but soft spoken and sweet.

Leonardo adored Raphael. Just as Raphael did Draxum, Leonardo liked to imitate and repeat instructions. He tended to take charge in many of their childish endeavors, and had a propensity for dramatics and heroism, often pretending to rescue his brothers. This seemed to irritate Donatello to no end, unless he was also playing the hero, and often times he was. The two were usually glued to the hip, though Leonardo liked to make a point to tell all his brothers about everything that went on, and would take a movie night with the three of them over a one on one outing with Draxum any day. He was exuberant and joyous, and very driven by the concept of justice.

Donatello, similarly, seemed to care very dearly about maintaining a bond with all three of his brothers, but he was peculiar, often more reserved and enjoying his alone time. That child read and read like he might never get a chance to again, and he absorbed what he read like a sponge. Quite a few times Draxum found him pulling apart whatever he could get his hands on, and though an effort was made, there was no hiding place the boy couldn't discover in his quest for Draxum's tools. In spite of his quizzical, sometimes stoic nature, Donatello was sensitive, and very thoughtful. He would spend hours talking about his books and his ideas- some of which were very clever- and he was expressive in secondary ways- sitting nearer his brothers even without interacting, crafting things out of paper as gifts. Even the little heart-shaped mark on the back of his soft shell seemed a fitting part of him- he wore his heart on his sleeve, so to speak, and didn't even realize it.

And Michaelangelo. There was an innocence and joy and goodness about the smallest turtle that had struck Draxum. Even when he was younger he always wore a smile and liked to see the good side of things. And he idolized his brothers. With him had grown his creative inclinations, filling every colouring book, drawing on every wall, and absolutely plastering the other turtles with stickers. They were a pain to wash off, but Draxum couldn't bring himself to mind it, especially given the elder three always loved their baths. Ironically, it seemed Michealangelo did not, enjoying it only under specific circumstances. Heat, bubble bath, and bath toys had quickly become a necessity. So too did bath crayons, the need to express himself coming through even when bathing. Everything about the ornate box turtle was bright and colourful.

Draxum... loved them. Dearly. Every facet of their personalities and growth. Every unique trait and behavior.

It was terrifying. He couldn't afford to love them. He couldn't afford to see any more goodness in the humanity they showed. He couldn't afford to change his goals right now.

So he continued disregarding the feeling, trying to reason that everything he did for them was to nurture their instincts as warriors, as science experiments, as specimen.

But a pained scream one day, different from any of the ones he heard when they were frightened as infants, when one of them tripped and fell, when a spat led to hitting, sent his heart into his throat and had him racing through doorways with more urgency than he had felt for anything before.

He had demanded an explanation, panic translating to perceived anger, and three of his boys looked up with teary eyes. Three, but Donatello remained curled up on the ground, wailing his little heart out without ever looking up, and it was one of the most heart wrenching, painful sounds Draxum'd ever heard.

Raphael sat not far from the smaller boy, looking over his shoulder seemingly at nothing, at Donatello, then up at Draxum and back again. Both Leonardo and Michaelangelo burst into frantic, panicked explanations, none of their words coherent enough to understand through their tears.

When Raphael stood, exposing red-tipped spikes on his shell and pointing frantically to Donatello's, it didn't take long to figure out well enough what had happened.

It became quickly a very long day. All four turtles were distraught, and though Draxum had more than enough first aid knowledge to address the situation, bile had threatened to rise the very moment he pulled out the suture kit.

The cuts were deep, and jagged. And poor Donatello cried the entire time, even after a numbing agent had been applied.

Draxum had never thought that in depth about Donatello's soft shell. Not like that. He chose a softshell for the experiment because it would provide greater flexibility, greater agility. It gave an advantage that the hard-shelled turtles did not have.

Now, here... The soft carapace, spongy and leathery and bloody...

It was an accident. Of course it was, Draxum never doubted that. He had to assure that none of his boys were in trouble, no one was in trouble, no one had done anything wrong.

But for the first time he had to be honest with himself. For the first time he couldn't deny how much he cared about the turtles. His turtles. His boys.

He wouldn't, either. If this was what it was, if this was something that could happen again because he insisted on making them into warriors, into fighters- if this could happen on purpose, if this could happen worse, if this could happen with malice and hatred in mind...

Draxum wasn't unused to physical affection, by now. All four boys adored hugs, although Donatello was usually more reserved about them. Now, Donatello clung like his life depended on it, sniffling and whimpering, having cried so long he had no more tears. Draxum clung back, idly smoothing over the edges of the bandages, holding the frightened, exhausted turtle to his chest, cradling.

He did so until well after Donatello fell asleep. He couldn't bring himself to put him down. He accompanied the others to bed, assuring them once more that things were alright, and then simply stood in the walkway, holding his boy tightly.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't go through with it. They were children, every bit as innocent and deserving as the Yokai he wished to avenge and protect. He could train them, prepare them to protect themselves, but he could never send them into battle, ask them to put their lives on the line, much less demand it.

How could he?

It took months of processing, of agonizing his way through the healing process with Donatello, of watching the other boys proving their humanity, their curiosity, and their innocence time and time and time again. His mind was constantly at war with itself, his heart constantly in turmoil and distress, worsened by the turtles' confusion at his sudden change in behavior.

What was even worse was that they would.

They would absolutely sacrifice everything they had for his approval, and for what they understood as "right". He could see them, easily, being willing to submit their very lives to a greater cause if he asked it.

But was he "right"? Even if this experiment had gone exactly as planned, was he right for ever considering putting these turtles into the station of a warrior? Even if they had remained turtles in mind, if they never expressed complex emotion, if they could not speak, if they did not have distinct and colourful personalities, would it have been right?

Was what he saw in them now what they would have been at heart, regardless of circumstance?

Or was it the humanity, that he stole from Lou Jitsu?

Perhaps... perhaps it was time to learn. To consider the root of his motivations.

He couldn't do this to them.

How could he?

[ohgreat-moretapes]

ooc is there a plot for the blog or is it just fan-based?

OOC: ohoho yeah I've got a whole thing going that we've *just* scratched the surface of hehehe

We are currently still in "Act 1" >:3

-Olea

[scribbyizhere]

thinking abt an au where they became marines as kids (due to unnamed reasons) but they turned out wrong

might talk more abt this au but I'm shy so I'd prefer questions abt it lol

Master post