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[mrmukhwas]

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[rajajionline]

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[jeridandridge]

Happy Haunts

Melissa Schemmenti is a tough cookie. Until she watches a horror movie.

When you got to work on this particular stormy Halloween you didn’t expect to run around the entire school looking for a child dressed as Thanos, but here you are dressed in your best Captain Carter costume going through the halls with Melissa.

“Okay this stagnant chocolate smell is making me wanna barf.” You groan bringing your arm up to cover your nose.

“This kid thrives on chaos that’s for damn sure.” The redhead nods eyeing you slyly. Your toned arms were on full display in your tight shirt, the material complimenting your body well. “So, what are your plans for tonight, Cap?”

Chuckling you glance at the scarlet witch with a smile. “Well, I’m third wheeling with Jacob and Zach. We’re going to a haunt and I’m almost certain Jacob will run out. What are your Halloween plans with Mr. Year round candy guy?”

Having a crush on a coworker was hard, but it made it even more difficult knowing she was dating someone, especially a guy that was so irritatingly nice like Gary.

Melissa chuckles, immediately sobering at your question. “Gary? He’s a nice guy, but it didn’t work out.” She shrugs.

“Oh.” Is all you can say. That was new information and you felt bad for thinking it, but you were glad it hadn’t worked out between the two. Maybe you could grow some guts and finally ask the redhead out.

After following trails of candy wrappers and chocolate baby Thanos is found by Chad, and his reign of terror over Abbott is finished. Now in the break room after dismissal you sit with your plastic shield on the table with a cup of coffee in hand watching the rain splatter the window.

“Hey Captain,” Melissa gets your attention, purse slung over her shoulder, “How’s about you let the scaredy cats go to the haunted house and you come get scared with me?”

“Are you calling yourself scary, Mel? ‘Cause I don’t buy it.” You tease grabbing your own bags ready to leave. The idea of spending more time outside of work with Melissa had your heart fluttering in your ribcage. The little crush you had since you started teaching at Abbott went from a spark to a roaring fire fast, and now, thanks to class prep and staff meetings. it may be time to act.

“We can hand out candy and watch something scary.” Crimson lips turn into a smile that you’ve only ever seen on the Cheshire Cat.

“What kind of wine should I bring?”

“Red, six o’clock. Don’t be late.” She shoots you a smile over her shoulder.

She might as well be a real witch with the hold she has on you already. In the couple hours you had between work and Melissa’s, you went home to freshen up, opting to stay in your costume for now and being a change of clothes for later just in case the night went late.

At six o’clock on the dot you knock on the paper ghost covered door with a bottle of red wine in gloved hand, chuckling at the sound of scared squeals from kids down the street. “Let me in there’s monsters out here!” You joke.

When the door opens Melissa’s there in all her scarlet witch glory sans her boots. Taking in the sight you can’t help but smile. “Oh my god, Mel.” You laugh adoringly. “Without the boots you’re just adorable. You don’t have the threatening witch look.”

The redhead rolls her eyes adoringly opening the door wider. “Quiet, muscles. I’m giving my feet a break before the kids start coming.”

Following her in you close the door kicking your boots off already enjoying the warmth and smell of the house.

“What’s that smell? My mouth is watering.”

Cape flowing behind her the redhead goes to the oven letting out a wave of warm air as she pulls out a pan of pizza.

“Margherita mozzarel.” She smiles sliding the colorful pizza onto the wooden tray.

You shake your head with a smile moving to wash your hands at the sink. “How did you manage that in just two hours?”

“Magic, hon.” She winks rotating the tray as she cuts into the dough, your breath catching in your throat.

“Where are your glasses?” You hum reaching for the wine bottle trying to distract yourself.

“Right here,” her voice is soft, her hand even softer as she holds onto your arm to reach past you to the cupboard. Bringing two glasses out between her fingers Melissa smiles setting them on the counter beside you. It’s like she was doing it on purpose.

Dinner eaten and two glasses of wine in, you and Melissa are chuckling away on the front porch handing candy out to the kids. When you see her shiver slightly from the cool air, you wrap your arm around her shoulders gently running your thumb over her skin. “These rugrats are slowing down, feel like going back in?” You ask knowing she has a movie planned.

“Yeah,” Melissa smiles warmly at you, standing up with an empty candy bowl. “Let’s see how long you can last.”

Your breath catches in your throat, eyes wide as you duck your head, all of a sudden very worried about tripping as you follow her into the house.

“You know, these movies can get scary.” She teases you.

“Yeah,” you chuckle nervously, “yeah, movies.”

As you change out of your costume in Melissa’s bathroom, you lean against the door taking a breath. She was teasing you, that’s all it was. You two were having a fun night as friends. Clad in your sweatpants and a Flyers t-shirt you meet Melissa back in the dim living room chuckling when you see what’s ready to go on tv.

“This all you got Schemmenti?” You tease sitting next to her, Laurie strode paused on the tv screen.

“Hey, Michael is horrifying okay.” She argues sprinkling the flavor seasoning over her popcorn.

“There’s no way you’re afraid of these movies, Mel.”

“I’m not,” she scoffs playing it off, patting the cushion next to her, “I’m thinking about you. Now sit your cute ass down.”

Rolling your eyes you sit shoulder to shoulder as the eerie music starts, smiling when you catch Melissa looking at you.

“Watch the movie, scaredy cat.” You whisper reaching over for a piece of popcorn.

As the movie continues you both move slowly, fingers reaching into the popcorn bowl cautiously as the stormy night on the tv screen unsettles you. When a thud comes through the speakers Melissa flinches almost dropping the bowl.

“Dolce Gesú!” She lets out in Italian looping her arm with yours. Pink nails dig into the skin of your forearm making you hum in protest. Slowly pulling away you reach back wrapping your arm around her shoulders instead holding her close. Smelling the wine mixed with her make up from the day you can’t help but smile.

The Halloween classic continues, and at some point you end up laying on the couch, Melissa practically on top of you with her face hidden in your neck.

“You can’t have sex while a killers on the loose!” Her muffled voice comes out, soft breath against your skin making you laugh.

“They’re horny teenagers, Mel they didn’t get the memo.”

Throughout the rest of the movie Melissa plays peek a boo with the screen, using you as a human shield. Eventually your hand finds her back. Fingers moving lazily against the warm fabric you sigh contently enjoying this feeling, grateful that Melissa is comfortable enough to be this vulnerable with you. Before you know it, the eerie piano plays again as Melissa rests her chin on your shoulder meeting your eyes.

“I have a confession to make, hon.”

“What’s that?” You ask quietly, a dazed smile that you couldn’t help on your lips.

“I’m not afraid of scary movies.”

Taken aback for a moment you look into jade eyes, pupils dilated and looking at you with nothing but pure admiration.

“You- so this-“ you stammer, a soft chuckle rumbling in Melissa’s chest you can feel against your body.

Resting her hand on your hip the redhead tips her head up kissing your cheek.

“You’ll figure it out, hon.”

Mind going a mile a minute you lay there stunned until you feel her lips on your cheek. “Wait, Was this a date?” You ask quirking a brow feeling totally stupid.

Melissa smiles moving to hover over you.

“I thought it was. Do you want it to be?”

Instead of saying anything, you sit up, hands on the older woman’s hips as you lean in placing a soft kiss to her lips. It doesn’t turn into anything else then, you both exploring new ground cautiously, hands moving slowly until your arms are around her waist.

“You could’ve asked me out.” You chuckle keeping your arms around her. “You didn’t have to act scared over a movie.”

The redhead playfully rolls her eyes gently cupping your cheek.

“Not that I’m complaining.” You lean in nuzzling your nose against hers.

There’s a comfortable moment of silence at the simple action, Melissa’s fingers playing with your hair.

“Alright, hon. How’s about we go on a real date this weekend?” She suggests.

Smiling softly you nod keeping your hands on her hips.

“It’s a date.”

[justyouraverageficwriter]

Sweaty and Sweet

Tzuyu X M Reader

Genre: Smut, Shorts, Sweaty Tzu, BFH fic

WC: 1504 Words

A/N: So this is a BFH fic, and no plot whatsoever lol. I haven't been on the internet/social media for a while so seeing this pic is fuel enough for a fic. Well, it has been a long note. I'm out.

You laid eyes on her, she's a real eye candy. Somehow she always exceeds your expectations, even setting the bar so high for the goddess that she is. Hair tied on a messy bun, with loose strands that perfectly framed her beautiful face. Her shoulders are beautifully displayed, beads of sweat clearly visible making her shine, an angel that she is. You just can't help but smile, you never thought you'll see someone so fresh post workout; but here she is.

You take a quick sniff on the back of her neck, which she finds amusing as you hear a small chuckle, you can't see her lips but you can surely feel her smile.

"You're more than beautiful, Tzu."

The words just slide naturally on your tongue, it's just the truth. You think you're doing the world a disservice if you don't tell her, like it's some kind of an unlawful thing.

"What am I then?"

Her tone is so inquisitive as she continues to check her face in front of the mirror, not that there's anything wrong with it. She should already be in the shower right now, freshening herself up if not because of you holding her down.

"You are...you are gorgeous."

You failed, you rack your brains for a special word but you end up with just gorgeous. Nothing is wrong with the word though, it fits her. Yes it fits her well and so much more.

Tzuyu turns around to face you, now you're convinced that the word you used was utterly lacking to describe her, criminally even. She's just perfect in more ways than one, and you could not deny you want to kiss her, and kiss her deep.

"Is that the best you got?"

Tzuyu smirks, which makes her more kissable. Maybe you just want to wipe that smirk off her face, or maybe you just want to let her know how beautiful she is beyond just mere words. But does the reason really matter? It doesn't change the fact that you want your lips on hers.

"Let me just show you."

After you utter the words, you didn't even wait for her to reply and make true to your desires. Good thing she didn't resist, Tzuyu responds to your kisses instead. It was magical and not to mention horny inducing. Both of your lips found home in each other, tongue easily slips and slides. You started out with innocent intent, or so you convinced yourself. However that intent to tell her how beautiful she is, turns deeper and deeper.

The simple kiss gradually turns into small bites, the breaths turn into tiny erotic moans. The desire to press your body against her grows even more stronger. The want, no, the need to touch her is starting to overload your mind. Then there's her scent, sweaty and sweet, it's intoxicatingly good, enticing, inviting.

The sexual tension is thick, it's in the air waiting to snap, just waiting for one of you to give in to it. Expectedly you did, as you touch her boobs over her top, finally pushing the boundaries. You elicit a long moan from her, the longest so far; and you interpret this as satisfaction, a green light to do more, to want more.

From the hem of her top you slide your hands upwards, sweeping her bra as well. The act is urgent and the next thing you know you are groping her tits bare, skin against skin. Your lips move from hers down to her neck, trailing pecks and nibbles finally tasting the sweat you so desire.

"Hmmm-"

Another erotic moan escapes her lips, as Tzuyu now closes her eyes. You take advantage of the situation, fully taking her top off and unclasping the hooks of her bra in one fluid motion. Without wasting any second, your mouth moves to suck on her nipples, now hard and obviously turned on.

"Ahhhh-"

Tzuyu gasps, not because she did not expect you to do that but with the pleasure that comes with the act. You take a moment to pause and admire her godly body, the slender build, the small waist, the flat toned tummy, and the famous belly button.

"You are beautiful, Tzu."

"I know, you have been saying that since earlier." Her smile in the middle of a horny atmosphere only adds to the special moment. How can she be adorable in such an erotic scene. "Hurry and make love to me."

She's stern and maybe borderline desperate. She's horny too that's clear to see, but to directly say that in your face is an indication that she wants you as much as you want her. With that thought in mind, you gained a little bit of confidence; or maybe more than you really need. You'll put how much control you have to the test.

"What's the rush, Tzu?"

With just one sentence, you effectively tease her. Expecting Tzuyu to repeat her request, or seeing her beg will be so much better. To your surprise though, she confidently looks at you with her eyes fixed on yours and lowkey judging.

"Any of my unnies can walk on us any time, and you're not making the most of your chance?"

Tzuyu is right, there's no use in beating around the bush. She's way too perfect to be kept waiting, way to be sexy to not lost control on. You cling your thumbs on her tight shorts and pulled them down, panties included. And as the clothes slowly reveal the rest of her body, you feel you bulge throb harder. Her thighs are the best you've ever seen.

"Fuck!"

You suddenly blurt in excitement and Tzuyu giggles at your reaction. You feel slighted, challenged at the chuckle she gave you, she may have the control now, given how much you swoon over her features, but that will not last any longer. You'll have her, and have her good. Promptly, you pulled your shorts down and freed the hard thing you've been hiding under.

"I'm gonna fuck you now, Tzu."

You turn her around, her back in front of you one again, cupping her round ass cheeks in the process; giving them a gentle slap before moving your hand to grope her tits from behind while the other travels down the clit and plays with the wet entrance.

"Do you like it, huh Tzu?"

She doesn't answer directly but just continues to mewl. This doesn't satisfy you, you want to hear her say yes, say that she likes it so you decide to up the ante. Sliding your dick in between her creamy thighs, rubbing her entrance in addition to your fingers. Tzuyu squirms and bites her lips, which prompts you to kiss her.

"I'm going to ask again, do you like what I'm doing to this pussy of yours, Tzu?" Your words come out in between humps.

"Yes! God yes! Please fuck me."

There it is, the words you crave to hear, which drives your lust for her tenfold. You will indulge Tzuyu, indulge her on her request. Without hesitation, you slide inside her a little roughly. You forgot to be gentle as self satisfaction overloads your mind.

Tzuyu starts to moan louder and more frequently. You have her like putty in your hands. But you want more, you want to use her more, without thinking if you'll hurt her, and on top of that you want to hear her talk dirty to you. So you continue to hump faster and harder than before.

"Tell me how it feels Tzu, tell me what you want me to do."

You whisper in her ear, challenging her into talking dirty. You expect her to say that you are fucking her roughly, to relax and be a bit more gentle. Even you yourself think that's the case, and you are just waiting for her to say so but she doesn't.

"I want more, you're so hot when you lose control like this."

To say you are surprised is an understatement, you are in awe with her statement. And that drives you even crazier, even hornier and you find an even faster pace of sex. Focusing on the task at hand, you hold her on her small waist and fuck Tzuyu with just orgasm in mind.

When the amount of sweat doubles on Tzuyu's body as well as yours, with the uncontrollable grunts, gasps and moans, you know both you and Tzuyu are close to the finish line.

"I'm going to cum inside you, Tzu."

It's not a request, it's a statement of fact no matter what she'll say. And that you did as pumps rope after rope of semen inside her also cumming pussy. The chorus of lewd and satisfied moans echo the bathroom walls. You move to kiss her again and give her perky boobs a good groping to finish the sexy encounter.

She pushes you back to escape your embrace, and heads to the shower, but before stepping inside Tzuyu stops.

"Are you going to let me shower alone?"

----------

Fin.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Tricks & Treats

A little Halloween blurb featuring Roy & Bucky! Takes place after the events of Something There, so spoilers for chapters 11 & 12 I guess? Thank you to @infinetlyforgotten for helping inspire the idea!

0.9k words Warnings: Flirting & teasing, language, some oral (f receiving)

Something There Masterlist

“Come on, Bucky!”

I laughed and leaned down to link my arm with Pheobe’s. “I don’t remember Dorothy and the Wicked Witch skipping together in the movie,” I joked to the little green girl. I glanced over my shoulder. “Do you, Scarecrow?”

Roy scowled at me, his grim face nothing short of comical with the straw-filled pointy hat and painted face he’d let me put on him earlier that evening. But when I raised my eyebrows at him, he let out a heaving sigh and linked up on Phoebe’s other side. Together, the three of us strolled arm in arm to the next house, where Roy and I watched Phoebe hustle up to the door to get her candy.

I leaned close to Roy and wrapped an arm around his middle. “Having fun?”

His eyes trailed down my blue-and-white checkered dress. “Do we really have to go to the party after this?” he grumbled. “I just want to go home and wipe this shit off my face.”

“Roy,” I cooed mockingly, giving him a squeeze. “Don’t you want to see adorable Dorothy become grown-up Dorothy for the party tonight?” I wiggled my foot at him. “The ruby slippers are going to turn into red stilettos. Gonna need someone to carry me home once they kill my ankle.”

The corner of his mouth ticked upwards, mimicking his raised eyebrows. “One hour. Then it’s no fucking place like home, got it?”

Once Phoebe was satisfied with her haul and had been dropped off with her mom, we quickly stopped to freshen up before Keeley’s annual Halloween bash. I changed into the shoes I’d been teasing Roy about and switched out the knee-length pinafore I’d been wearing for one that stopped midway down my thighs.

Roy raised his eyebrows at me when I found him waiting in the living room. “That’s so fucking unfair, babe,” he groaned, brown eyes raking over my body. “You sure we have to go to this shit?”

Smirking at the exact reaction I’d been hoping for, I grabbed his hand and dragged him to the door. “Let’s go, Kent.”

To no one’s surprise, Keeley’s party was a real rager. The club she was hosting it at was packed with people- Greyhounds, Whippets, celebrities, friends. We wandered around, Roy’s hand on my lower back, greeting familiar faces over the pulsing music. Roy managed to grab us a couple of drinks, which I convinced him to bring to the dance floor; ever since our first date, there one where he took me back to the club we’d met at, I loved getting Roy to dance whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Despite his good-natured eyerolls, Roy leaned close to me as we danced, letting his hand wander a bit more than was appropriate in public. But, between the alcohol and the music and his warm touch, I didn’t care one bit. I pressed my back to him, closing my eyes with a smirk as we moved to the music. I knew by the way Roy grinded against me that he’d make me pay for all this torture.

Sure enough, exactly sixty minutes after our arrival, Roy interlocked his fingers with mine.

“Hour’s up, Coach,” he hummed.

Roy liked to drive fast in that big, stupid car of his. And it was especially true tonight as he nearly ran a few red lights and treated the speed limits like suggestions. The entire time, his hand gripped my thigh, fingers digging into my skin. His jaw was set, gaze straight ahead, looking more like he was preparing to enter a championship game than just driving home with his girlfriend.

“Roy!” I squeaked as he nearly yanked me out of the car once he’d parked.

With his hand firmly on my ass, he practically sprinted to the front door. He unlocked it in record time and slammed it behind him. Relief crossed his face for a fraction of a moment before being replaced with pure lust and desire.

“So fucking mean,” he growled, pressing my back to the wall by the front door. “Wearing that fucking dress, dancing with me the way you did.” His mouth found my neck. “What did I do to deserve that, Buck?”

Despite the fire that was starting to spread over my skin, I rolled my eyes in annoyance. “Don’t call me Buck, Kent.”

His breathy chuckle tickled my neck. “Sorry, darling.” His hands wandered up and down my sides, gripping the blue and white material. “Just looked so fucking good tonight. Forgot my fucking manners.”

When his fingertips grazed the bare skin of my thighs, I let out a deep sigh. “Bedroom?”

To my surprise, Roy shook his head. “Can’t fucking wait that long.”

In an instant, Roy was on his knees in front of me, tugging my already short skirt up to reveal the red lace I’d put on with him in mind. He groaned when he saw the material, reaching out to press one finger to the damp spot he’d caused. Without warning, he lifted my leg- the one with the shit ankle- over his shoulder, leaving me attempting to balance on one stiletto. As if he knew I needed help, he tightened his grip on my hips before pressing his mouth to my clothed heat.

“Fuck!” I gasped as my hips instantly jerked against his face. “Shit, Roy-” With a blissful sigh, I threw my head back, gripping his curly hair tight.

His tongue tugged the material aside, exposing my cunt to his hot breath. “Hello, gorgeous,” he hummed, planting a deep kiss to my pussy lips. “My little Halloween treat.”

[prep4tomoro]

Survival Uses of Chewing Gum:

Go into any grocery store, gas station, convenience store and you’re going to find packs and packs of chewing gum. What used to be considered a candy, has now become a health food (of sorts) as gum makers have moved to create gum that’s healthy for your teeth, won’t cause health issues and may be made to address a specific benefit like staying awake (caffeinated). While chewing gum isn’t on the same level as a water filter or a camping stove, you’ll find that keeping some of this stored in your survival kit or bug out bag is a worthwhile addition. How can Chewing Gum Help You Survive?

Scientifically proven to alleviate anxiety and stress, lowering Cortisol.

Fights fatigue and improve mental alertness.

Enhances working memory and brain performance.

Improves concentration.

Boosts morale and energy.

Aids digestion by increasing the salivary flow.

Quenches thirst and prevents "dry mouth" by stimulating saliva.

Suppresses an appetite to lose weight or when eating is not convenient.

A sticky substance to bind things together and fill gaps.

Fishing lure.

Fishing bobber/float (Survivorman, Georgia Swamp, S1E4).

Bartering tool.

Promotes oral health by breaking down food particles brushing can't reach

Prevents watering eyes while slicing onions.

A fine addition as composting material.

Freshens Breath.

Combats acid reflux, nausea and dizziness.

Curbs addictions (like smoking and eating)

Start a Fire with Foil Gum Wrapper and Battery

Removes "Earworms" (a song or thought stuck in your head).

Chewing Gum Removal: During a visit from a very prankish young friend of mine, I fed him lunch on an unfinished wooden tray so he could eat while watching TV. He was chewing gum before I fed him and he removed the gum from his mouth and placed it on the edge of the glass plate of food. I thought that was very responsible of him. After he was finished eating, he placed the tray and plate on my kitchen counter. When he left my house, I began cleaning up after him and when I "tried" to move the tray, it was stuck to my kitchen counter with the wad of gum he had, formerly, placed on the plate. Fortunately, the gum was easy to remove from the kitchen counter but not the wooden tray. From previous chewing gum encounters, I knew that freezing gum helps remove it so I put the tray into my freezer for about an hour and was able to remove most of the giant wad but not all; a thin layer remained. So I went on the web to search for removal solutions. My solution was to use several strips of Duct Tape (sticky side), rubbed over the gum residue, to pull up much of it then Acetone to remove the rest. There is a chewing gum ban at my house for this young man.

Related Resources: Chewing Gum Facts What to Know About Chewing Gum Health Benefits of Chewing Gum Recycle Gum into Other Useful Products Discover Chewing Gum’s Crazy Survival Uses

[11-Cs Basic Emergency Kit] [14-Point Emergency Preps Checklist] [Immediate Steps to Take When Disaster Strikes] [Learn to be More Self-Sufficient] [The Ultimate Preparation] [P4T Main Menu]

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[deva-arts]

Hey Deva. what do your OC's mouths taste like.

I'M HAUNTED BY MY WORDS...

But okay sure fine I'll answer

First off we have a headcanon from Ritz:

Scrumptious!

Okay here's what I think:

Seraphina: She might not be too romantic, but she has excellent hygiene and doesn't go making out with Nathaniel without being nicely fresh. "It's basic courtesy to brush your teeth for a minute and thirty seconds before each kiss, Nathaniel. I would have it no other wa- ack- wait-" He really doesn't care and will try to sneak in more than a few sweet moments between work regardless. She'd like to say she's not a fan of canoodling during a tight schedule... But she loves that shit.

All this to say she probably tastes like mint. Or just a clean mouth. Sometimes energy drinks.

Nathaniel: Nathaniel is a doctor, but before that he was quite the playboy! Nate's pretty seasoned in the art of romance, especially since he's lived through so many different appearances. (He has to mind the teeth a little now that he is exclusively using this form, though...) He's always keeping nice with cologne and clean clothes, going a little extra on the mouthwash, etc.... Unless he is burning himself out doctor-style, then he... Just tries to keep himself showered and his teeth brushed.

Nathaniel tastes like mouthwash or breath fresheners when he's a spry rooster looking to woo Ser... But when he's tired he just tastes like mouth. He just wants some love. Please. (She stays in that day.)

Sonia!

Sonia makes sure her lips are fruit flavored so that her kisses can be "An experience that'll always make you crave me." Okay Sonia. But to be fair, she is a good kisser. Not only does she smell nice, her chemical synthesis ability essentially sterilizes and monitors the processes in her body, including harmful bacteria in the mouth. She would pleasantly surprise Nate if he ever needed to test a swab.

She tastes like cherry lipstick, the taste in your mouth you get right after brushing your teeth a third time, with a hint of something... lightly spicy? You find out later that it's acid.

Vincent! I'm not looking forward to writing this one WOOO

Vincent is an extremely... Meticulous individual. But only for certain things. For others he has no conceptual foundation and thus does not consider or practice them. He will shower three times a day. He brushes his teeth until his gums bleed. He bites his nails down to nubs.

But he will not moisturize, or do maintenance for the plentiful amounts of scar tissue on his body. His skin is rough and textured differently with every square inch you come across. His lips are chapped my guy. They're chapped bad. He smells a little weird too. Like feathers and gasoline, covered poorly with a plentiful amount of body spray. He also doesn't floss and eats anything under the sun.

His mouth tastes like the aftertaste whatever edible or inedible object he's eaten, with a hint of oral decay. He's a bad kisser the first few goes around too. His idea of cuddling is some rough pats on your back that feel more like the heimlich maneuver. Let's hope you caught him after he's brushed his teeth, at least.

(Human Vincent tastes like Cigarettes, beer, and whatever candy he popped in his mouth in hopes of ridding the taste of ciggies and beer.)

Amon:

The first occupational hazard lies in his teeth. They're very sharp. He has bitten off his own tongue before in several occasions. OW??? The second lies in his nice, plush yet firm body being a MUSCLE DEATHTRAP where he might squeeze you a little too hard and save you money on your next chiropractic appointment. (Actually, maybe still go to the chiropractor.) After that? He's a great kisser. He practices good hygiene (he has to lead Adra by example!) and smells like body spray used tastefully.

Amon tastes like a minty, mouthwashed mouth with a hint of copper. You try not to think about it too hard.

Eric!!

His mouth tastes like... Nothing? And not like mouth-nothing, more like water-nothing. His ability as a state-shifter makes all of the cells in his body convert into the cellular equivalent of a sea salp. Even though his humanoid form keeps these aspects of his body in a dormant state, where they process and function like normal, the green parts still retain that odd texture and quality to them. Of course, if he eats or drinks something that tastelessness is going to change.

Eric might also taste like pizza, cheap alcohol, toothpaste, or... lime Cool Aide?

Strohl!

Kissing a man who is basically a living electrical generator is not a good idea??? He tastes and feels like television static, and sometimes you hear some sparks actually flying on his end. He assures you that he has it under control, but in the same breath tells you not to surprise him if you wear conductive jewelry. Okay. This is fine.

Some say they like the feel of the static. Others take their leave early. He can't really blame them, so they leave, their NDA signed and a digital check bestowed to them. Katya is the first woman who was entirely immune to his power, and that made him feel much more secure with holding her close.

Strohl tastes like TV static, expensive liquor, and whatever dessert he's eaten earlier. He's a fan of sweets despite his workout regimen not permitting them.

Honorable mentions:

Titan tastes like blood,

Cain tastes like raw flesh and he will bite your tongue,

Karin Eris tastes like black licorice and your tears,

General Hayes tastes like your pillow and you realize it was, in fact, your pillow,

Aurelius tastes like a clean mouth that is getting a bit too high in temperature and oh god his power is on- TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!

Farmer Dev tastes like those crisp root vegetables that have no implicit taste but are still classified as "green" tasting. Also peppermint- she chews a lot of it on the go.

[mrmukhwas]

Indulge in a burst of sweetness with the Tasty Freshner! This innovative product promises to transform your culinary experiences by enhancing the natural flavors of your favorite dishes. From fruits to savory delights, this freshner is designed to preserve freshness while enriching taste. Dive into a world where every bite is an explosion of delectable flavors, ensuring your meals are always a tantalizing treat. Elevate your food journey with the Tasty Freshner and savor the delightful difference it brings to your table.

[traumasurvivors]

This is a blog post I wrote on various grounding techniques. This link leads to my own personal website with other trauma articles. If you want to read the article but don't want to click an external link, it is available under the read more.

For anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks and/or nightmares.

In those moments, it can be hard to think of what to do. Please consider writing yourself a to do list for those moments that you can go through. Whether it is things from this list I am sharing with you or your own grounding methods you have thought of. Write a step by step of how to get yourself grounded that you can have on your phone or notebook. This will make it easier when you're feeling panicked and/or stressed to navigate through calming techniques. Another tip is to try some of these things when you're calm. Don't try them for the first time when you're in a panicked state.

Physical Sensations

Put your hands in cold water (you could even hold an ice cube.)

Squeeze something soft like a blanket or stuffed animal.

Hold a favourite item like a stimming toy or something you love. If you are outside, consider picking up a leaf (or rock etc) and examining it and how it feels.

Put your hand over your heart and feel it. You are here. You are present. Inhale (through your nose) for four seconds and Exhale (through your mouth) for six seconds.

Cuddle or pet your dog/cat if you have one.

Pick up and touch items close to you. Feel the texture of them, the weight. Really focus on these traits.

Think of things you enjoy touching. I know someone who keeps bubble wrap around so they can pop it when they feel distressed.

Taste

Drink or eat something (if you can) with a strong taste. (Something really sour, maybe something spicy, or anything with a strong taste.)

Chew gum or suck on a mint or similar.

Let a chocolate or similar melt in your mouth. Really focus on the taste and the sensation.

Drink a cold or hot beverage.

Please be aware of your limits. Are you going to be able to focus on this? Is there risk of you choking if you panic and/or dissociate heavily?

Sight

What do you see now? What colours are the walls? What is the floor made of? Name five items in the room with you?

Flip through photos that you like

Read a book, article or something you enjoy reading.

Scent

Spray a scent that is non triggering like a body spray, or air freshener.

Have some essential oils to smell when you need.

Do not light a candle if there is a risk of you dissociating too much to remember it. This can be dangerous. Please only light a scented candle if you are certain it is safe to do so.

Smell your favourite foods, or candy with a strong smell.

Sound

Put on a non-triggering movie/show/youtube video

Put on some non-triggering music.

Listen to the sounds where you are and list them off. Are there bugs chirping outside? Are people doing work outside? Do you hear a heater/fan going? Etc.

Play nature sounds (there are apps that do relaxing sounds. Consider downloading one.)

Call a friend. (If this happens in the middle of the night, maybe ask a trusted friend to send you some recordings you can play of them saying calming things for you?)

Listen to an audio book or read a book you like out loud.

Other

Have an anchoring phrase/mantra like: “My name is ___. I am ___ years old. I live in ___. I am safe. ”

Have a soothing or distracting app you go to on your phone. (There are colouring apps and just nice games or activities to do.)

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method.

Having a self-care box

Remember that even if it does not feel like it right now, you are going to be okay. You’ve gotten through this before and you can do it again. I believe in you. I hope you believe in you, too.

[funkygroovejam]

Me and the lead singer. Spunky, bubbly, and energetic would define her. The concert was fantastic, and football, afterwards, was all sorts of fun. She gave me a festive Grateful Dead beer koozie. It made drinking my Narragansett 16-ouncers more fun. I brought homemade mint candies. I enjoyed them because, well, sugar, and because the mint freshened my breath, and because the mint taste in my mouth actually gave the beer a pleasing quality.

[appallinnballin]

i might be out of it because i was eating mouth fresheners (mix of fennel seeds/candied fennel seeds) and then i noticed one CRAWLING on my shirt and put it in my mouth (it was a lace bug)

[voraciousvore]

Big Corp Inc. (8/43)

Chapter 8: Consequences

Candy was horribly sore all over when she woke up the next morning. Her feet, particularly her heels, had blisters and sores and red rub marks, not to mention the swelling. Clearly, there was no way she’d be wearing those high heels today. In fact, her whole work outfit was thoroughly disgusting, reeking like the inside of a Giant’s mouth mixed with stale coffee. She had been so tired, she hadn’t bothered to do a load of laundry to freshen them up for her next workday. She would need to find alternate clothing options.

Candy had to admit, though, that she was clean and dry. She had the luxury of a shower, a bed, and a safe, dry place to sleep. She wouldn’t get any of those amenities living out on the street. She decided she’d try going to work again. Perhaps her crazy day yesterday had just been a fluke. Plus, she was still alive and unharmed. Her fears may have been magnified in the moment, but she felt better after having some distance from the Giant workplace. She didn’t think she’d really get eaten by a Giant. If Giants were in the habit of gobbling up humans, they wouldn’t hire humans at Giant businesses, right? 

She scrounged through her closet to find clothing that at least somewhat resembled her work clothes. She didn’t have any shirts that were so low-cut, or skirts that short, but she did the best she could. After bandaging up her feet, she slipped on plushy socks with her trusty old sneakers, which were far more comfortable to walk in. She packed up a lunch and ventured forth, ready to face the day. 

The morning was crisp and bright after the evening rain. The air had a fresh smell to it that invigorated Candy. She began her commute without the usual trepidation, admiring how all the Giant buildings glistened in the morning sun. Maybe wearing her own clothes made her feel like a normal person in control of herself, rather than a sexy doll for her Giant boss to play with. 

Her stomach twisted up when she was reminded of her boss. He had mentioned previously that the work uniform was required, but there was no way for her to wear those trashed clothes now. Besides, with her miniscule form, the shoes were simply not practical. She couldn’t walk miles and miles in heels. She prayed he would have some understanding, but thus far he had been quite callous to her needs, to the point of cruelty and perversion. He was remarkably self-centered, to say the least. Candy hoped she wasn’t inviting his wrath to strike her down. 

Her initial optimism was draining away, to be replaced with dread. She wasn’t sure if he was just joking when he referred to punishment, but what if he wasn’t? What sort of punishments would he inflict on her for breaking his rules? Candy felt sick when imagining potential scenarios. She would have to try to lie low and avoid him if at all possible, but her close proximity to his office would pose a challenge. 

Thankfully, Candy made it all the way to the third floor without incident. She was lucky in her elevator adventure today, and managed to hitch a ride without having to ask for help or draw attention to herself. She waved to Bianca as she trekked to her desk. Bianca waved back with a smile, but her expression turned to horror when she saw what Candy was wearing. 

“Candy!” the Giantess hissed. “What are you doing? Why aren’t you wearing the uniform?” Glancing around nervously, she scooped Candy up off the floor and darted into the privacy of her own cubicle so the little human wouldn’t be spotted. 

Candy was startled from the sudden jarring movements but replied, “My work clothes were trashed yesterday so I couldn’t wear them.” The tight feeling in her gut grew worse when she saw Bianca was obviously panicking. 

“Shit,” Bianca mumbled. “Shit shit shit. We need to fix you up before the boss sees you.” She rifled through her desk drawer until she found a gigantic pair of scissors. The blades were massive, long, and sharp. 

“Whoa! What are you doing with those?” Candy cried out, taking a step back. 

“We need to modify your clothes. Maybe if you get lucky, Mr. Hardon won’t notice, or he’ll forgive your mistake if he sees you tried to rectify it,” Bianca explained. “Now hold still while I cut. I don’t want to accidentally slice you up.” 

Candy paled. “Is… is this really necessary?” She squeaked in fear and jumped back as the Giantess lowered the huge blades near her neck. “No no no, we can’t do it this way, you’ll cut my head off!” 

Bianca furrowed her brow in thought. “How about I’ll mark your clothes with a pen where we’ll need to cut them, and then you can take them off and I’ll modify them that way?” Candy found this arrangement acceptable, so she allowed Bianca to draw on her clothes with a felt-tip pen. She took off her shirt and watched as Bianca hacked off a big chunk of it with her scissors. She put on the shred of a shirt she had left, which barely covered her bra. Next went her skirt, which required at least a good six inches sliced off the bottom. As the Giantess cut through the fabric, both women started as they heard Mr. Hardon dangerously close by. 

“Bianca!” Mr. Hardon sang. “Biancaaaa!” Seconds before he emerged from around the corner, the Giantess grabbed Candy and without a second to lose stuffed her in her cleavage so she wouldn’t be seen.  

Bianca tried to act casual as she felt Candy squirming to get in a more comfortable position while sandwiched between her giant boobs. “What’s up?” she asked innocently, covering up her jiggling breasts with her arm while twirling a strand of her long black hair around her finger. 

“Since you’re right by the elevator, I figured I’d ask you. Have you seen that little caramel-flavored cutie around the office anywhere? Mr. Hardon questioned. “She’s going to be late if she doesn’t show up soon, and then I might have to give her a spanking!” He chuckled and winked. Bianca felt Candy go rigid with fear against her warm flesh. 

“Oh, you mean Candy? Um... I think she went to the break room. With how small she is, I hope she didn’t get lost on her way there, haha!” Bianca lied. 

“Never fear, if she’s lost I’ll be her Giant knight in shining armor and rescue her!” Mr. Hardon skipped off, calling, “Caaaaandy! Where are you, sweet little snack of mine?” 

Bianca sighed with relief and fished around in her enormous bra until she found Candy and pulled her out. “Sorry about that, Candy,” she apologized. “I didn’t have time to think of a better hiding spot.” 

“It’s... it’s okay,” Candy gasped, flustered. “At least you bought me some time.” Bianca set her on the desk so she could put on her newly modified skirt. “How do I look?” 

Bianca scrutinized her outfit. “It’s a bit rough, but better than before. We can’t do anything about your shoes, but maybe with your feet being so small, he won’t notice. He’s more into tits and ass anyways.” She gently lifted Candy up and placed her in her palm. “Here, I’ll take you to your desk so you don’t have to walk so far.” 

“Thanks for looking out for me, Bianca,” Candy said, leaning against her fingers. “I’d be in serious trouble without you!” 

“Of course! Us ladies have to stick together when we’re up against a monster like Dick Hardon!” Bianca proclaimed. “Although, don’t let him hear you call him Dick, he really doesn’t like that! Even if the name suits him, and everybody calls him that behind his back.” She giggled, and Candy joined in. “Good luck today, Candy.” She placed the human on her desk, then snuck off to her own cubicle before the boss caught sight of her. Candy booted up her computer and got to work. Confident that she had dodged another disaster, she typed with enthusiasm, dancing over the keys with her pen tips. Her arms were sore, but she was determined to get ahead today. She couldn’t afford any more mistakes. 

She became so absorbed in her tasks, in fact, that she failed to notice the inevitable approach of her Giant boss, until his dark shadow graced her desk again. She paused in her effort to drag her mouse across the mousepad and gazed up at his towering form nervously. 

“Candy,” he said in a serious tone. “I’m glad to see you.” She looked up at him but didn’t say anything, waiting to see what he wanted from her. He sat his enormous bulk in the Giant chair and leaned his elbow on the desk, with his chin resting on his hand. Without being conscious of her action, Candy backed up a step. “I was a little worried, when I didn’t see you this morning, that I scared you off.” 

Candy fidgeted with her hands. “I have to admit, I had some serious reservations about coming back. I almost didn’t, but I decided to give this place another chance.” She didn’t directly acknowledge the incident that had occurred yesterday, when he had been gross enough to lick her from her knees to her forehead. The whole thing was just too bizarre for her to talk about out loud. He seemed like he was on the cusp of apologizing; if he did, Candy decided she might be inclined to forgive him and sweep it all under the rug, with the condition that he restrain his urges from then on. 

Mr. Hardon, however, did not have a shred of integrity in his heart to offer any sort of apology for his intrusive, lascivious behavior. He believed himself to be entitled to do as he pleased within his kingdom of the third floor of Big Corp Inc., where he was lord and master over all. The women all belonged to him, in his eyes. He cupped his huge hand around Candy and drew her in closer. She stiffened but couldn’t resist against his superior strength and size. As he moved his head down to get a closer look at her, he squinted and frowned. 

“What’s with your outfit? That’s not the work uniform.” Candy froze up. He had noticed. “And those shoes... didn’t I tell you those weren’t appropriate for the office, and I didn’t want to see them again? Are you deliberately disobeying me?” His eyes narrowed and his lips curled. 

Candy gulped. “No, Mr. Hardon, I can explain-” She didn’t get a chance to finish as his huge fingers coiled around her, smothering her with the force of his iron grip. 

“Candy, I’m going to have to punish you!” he declared, his voice raising with anger. She writhed fruitlessly in his fist, too out of breath to make a sound. His fingers were crushing her lungs. He stood up out of his chair. From her position in the boss’s fist, Candy happened to spot Ronny a few desks over, sneering hideously at her with sadistic satisfaction. He knew what was coming next. Candy was terrified. Mr. Hardon transported her into his office, slamming the door behind him. 

Chapter 9

First Chapter

[happyinjection]

♠️♥️High Card Short Story 7 ~Aftermath of The Jack of Hearts Retrieval Mission~ “Post-Mission Truth and Lesson” (2/3)♦️♣️

The research enthusiast Vijay was becoming interested in the language of gorillas!? Finn was puzzled on how to face Vijay who was eager to absorb knowledge...

Original: https://twitter.com/highcard_pj/status/1563103972398813184

Author: https://twitter.com/poipheno

Artist: https://twitter.com/ebimoji3

Early morning shifts are tough. A few days after returning from The Jack of Hearts retrieval mission, I went to work. I opened the door of the Old Maid branch office, and smelled the usual high-end air freshener.

“Haah.”

While yawning, I greeted everyone without actually saying a word.

Vijay happened to be manning the counter.

“Good morning, Finn.”

“Oh, it’s you. Where are the others?”

“Leo and Wendy has just gone out on some business, while Chris.... could it be he’s late?”

“Well, it must be another date.”

“He left in a hurry after working overtime last night, you see.”

At the same time, Vijay was pruning the leaves of a houseplant. He caught me glancing and began to speak.

“The name’s Jacqueline. I haven’t yet known her breed. I brought her back from that particular island. She seems to be closely related to a species of plants which inhabits subtropical zone, but--”

“Ja-Jacqueline, isn’t it. I’m Finn. Nice to meet you.”

When I picked up one of Jacqueline’s reddish leaves and pretended to shake hands with her, Vijay had a very satisfied look on his face,

“That’s right, Vijay. I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?”

“It seems that the orphanage I lived in received a really large amount of candies, do you know anything about that?”

About the same time I returned from the mission, a gigantic cardboard box filled with candies from an unknown sender arrived at Sunfields, the orphanage I grew up in. The children were delighted, and since then they had been playing rock paper scissors every night to compete for the prizes, or so the director, Lindsey, told me. In the present, Vijay tilted his head to one side. Apparently he also had no idea.

“Have you tried asking the others?”

“They don’t know either.”

“Come to think of it, if it were not for that mission, originally you were planning to visit Sunfields. weren’t you.”

“I remember it well. In the end I went there after the whole charade is over, but the children were so excited about the candies and didn’t care about me at all.”

I said with a self-deprecating tone. As Vijay listened to my story, he put his thumb on his slender chin.

“......Have you asked Leo about it?”

“He is exactly the reason why I asked everyone about those candies. That boss baby, he snapped and spit mean stuff like, ‘are you going to waste my precious time with such nonsense?’.”

Following that, Vijay had a faint smile creeping up his face, but he did not give me a response.

“By the way...... I also have something I wanted to ask to Finn.”

“To me? What about?”

“It’s regarding the language of gorillas.”

“.....Huuh?”

“At the island, there was that time when you were speaking gorilla language, wasn’t it?”

I involuntarily let out a sigh. 

“You, jokes completely go over your head, huh. I was just running my mouth ‘cause I got carried away in the mood then.”

“But Chris corrected you on the pronunciation, didn’t he. After that mission, he had been refusing to teach me.”

“No, no, the thing is Chris was also just blabbering, what he said held no meaning.”

Vijay was persistent.

“Finn may not have seen it, but Chris was really communicating with the gorilla. In fact, those gorillas are highly intelligent, there is a possibility that they are establishing communication with specific voices.”

“I don’t understand the hard stuff, y’know. Go ask Chris instead.”

“I would like to, but..... these days, he has been wary of me for some reason, he doesn’t even talk to me at all.”

In fact, there are instances where Chris is avoiding Vijay on purpose. That said, I could understand how that frivolous man didn’t mesh well with this man’s peculiar tempo.

“In the near future, I’m planning to bring a team of university researchers along with me back to the island and investigate. Even for just a little, I want to collect more proof, so can you please help me?”

“......Are you for real?”

“Really real, if I should put it that way.”

Vijay doesn’t usually make jokes.

“I simply want you to repeat the words you said to the gorillas at that time.”

“Eh~ I don’t remember.”

Vijay fixed his gaze at me. Since he didn’t seem to give up anytime soon, I had no choice but to trace my memory.

“I guess..... it was something like ‘woo ho ho hoo ho hoo’.”

Before I knew it, Vijay had taken out his phone, recorded my voice, and to top it off he typed something down on his memo.

“Please say it one more time.”

“Alright, Vijay, you should practice too.”

“Me too?”

“You’re planning to go and investigate, right. There’s no harm in doing it.”

In any case, I decided to make a fool out of him.

“Repeat after me. ‘Woo ho ho hoo ho hoo’, .......now your turn.”

“.....Ooh hoh ho ho--”

I nearly doubled over laughing. Laughter swirled in my guts and twisted my intestines.

“Put your heart into it! That sucks! One more time! Say it!”

“Ooh ho hoh ho ho--”

“Wrong! ‘Woo ho ho hoo woo ho ho--’”

“Ooh ho--”

“It appears that two gorillas are coming to work today.”

Bernard-ojichan emerged from the back of the store.

“Good morning. Ooh ho ho hoo ho ho--”

“...........Don’t you feel the slightest bit embarrassed?”

“Of what? Now, Finn-san. Give us a demonstration one more time.”

“.....You seriously have my respect. Even I am embarrassed.”

Until Vijay was finally satisfied, the lesson went on.

♠️♥️♦️♣️

TL notes: I’m in no way a professional translator so if you find any mistakes, please do not hesitate to inform me right away. Short Story 7 is meant to be a side story to Drama CD vol 2 (TLDR High Card went on a mission together to retrieve a card and shenanigans happened). You may want to check that out first to understand the context of the jokes.

[rachelkaser]

Stay Golden Sunday: Brother, Can You Spare That Jacket?

The Girls find a winning lottery ticket, only to lose it in a donated jacket. Their quest to find it leads them to a homeless shelter.

Picture It . . .

Dorothy catches Sophia reading a letter addressed to Rose (from a friend Sophia thinks is a lesbian). Rose arrives with their weekly lottery scratch-off tickets. Blanche follows shortly after with shopping bags, saying she was in the mood for leather, but Sophia cuts her off so they can scratch their tickets. Dorothy says she got three palm trees -- which means her ticket is worth $10,000. The Girls immediately begin celebrating.

SOPHIA: Where's everybody going? DOROTHY: Out to dinner. Go get ready, Ma. SOPHIA: I am ready! I'm always ready! You do that at 82. That, and carry hard candy.

As Sophia leaves to go order herself some swag, Blanche excitedly shows off her new purchase: A distressed aviator jacket. She sticks the winning ticket in the jacket pocket for safekeeping, and the three Girls decide to go for dinner. Blanche leaves the jacket on the couch as they go to freshen up. Sophia returns and answers a knock at the door: It's a man from the thrift shop there to pick up donations. Sophia, spotting the rather shabby jacket, tosses it onto the pile.

Later, the Girls are panicked, looking for the jacket. Sophia finally spills that she donated the jacket, which is when they inform her that they put the lottery ticket in the pocket. They make it to the thrift shop, where the proprietor informs him he just put the jacket out. That's when a bodyguard picks up the jacket and says "Michael" has decided to buy it. Blanche tries to get the jacket back, but the bodyguard isn't having it. He tosses the jacket out the door to "Michael," who catches with a glittery-gloved hand.

The next day, the Girls mope at home -- they tried calling the lottery commission, but they can't claim the $10k without the ticket. Rose then spots an item in the paper: There's a celebrity auction to benefit the homeless, with one of the objects being a leather jacket worn by "a major rock star." They immediately book it to the event. They make it just in time as the jacket is brought out. They open their mouths, but a nearby man bids $10,000 immediately, and they can't beat it.

They're prepared to bamboozle the buyer to just get the ticket out of the jacket pocket, when he announces he's a congressman who's been accused of not caring about the homeless. And, in addition to the cash donation, he's dispatched an aide to give the jacket to a homeless shelter as a symbolic gesture. Later that night, the Girls manage to find the shelter and a priest greets them. He offers to let them stay the night, and they agree to look for the jacket once inside.

ROSE: Are you sure we're in the right place? DOROTHY: Mission Street Shelter for the Indigent and Homeless. This is where they said they sent the jacket. BLANCHE: Kinda drab, isn't it? DOROTHY: Blanche, it's a shelter, not the flagship of the Hilton chain. SOPHIA: Kinda reminds me of the Shady Pines Retirement Home, except here the lights in the exit sign work.

They enter with their pillows and find beds to hunker down until everyone is asleep. Rose gets into a conversation with her neighbor, Ben, a hotelier who's also from Minnesota. Blanche's neighbor, on the other hand, is a young man who offers to help her through her first night. Sophia and Dorothy, who are sharing a bed, spot a woman named Ida Perkins -- Sophia is shocked and wonders what her old friend is doing in a homeless shelter. Rose and Ben continue to chit-chat about their past in Minnesota.

The young man, Kenny, tells Blanche about the procedure for breakfast, and notes she seems out of place in the shelter. He says he's there undercover working on his doctorate in sociology. Blanche is ecstatic, as Kenny reminds her of her son -- until he confesses it's a lie, and he's an alcoholic. At Ida's bed, she and Sophia share memories with Dorothy. Ida left Shady Pines a year previously. Dorothy asks why she left, and Ida says she simply didn't have enough money.

KENNY: This is your first time? BLANCHE: Oh lord, it's been ages since I heard that from a man. Yes, it is my first time. KENNY: I can give you a few pointers if you like. BLANCHE: Now that I've never heard from a man.

Ben tells Rose that he was laid off and couldn't find work in Minnesota. He eventually hitchhiked to Miami, and he offers to listen to Rose's story at breakfast, bidding her goodnight. Kenny tells Blanche he cracked under pressure from his family and warns her to keep herself safe. Ida says she was evicted from Shady Pines with little assistance despite her pleas for it, and she has no living family.

Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy meet up after everyone else is asleep and agree to separate and look for the jacket among the beds. They very quietly sneak between the beds as Judy Collins' cover of "Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?" plays in the background. Sophia stays with Ida, and tells her there is genuine love and compassion out there. The other Girls meet again, with Blanche quietly holding out the ticket. The priest returns to open the shelter for the day. All four Girls exchange looks, and Sophia hands the priest the ticket, thanking him for everything.

"Persuasion, hell. This isn't for dinner at the Rainbow Room. This is for ten big ones! Give him whatever he wants!"

As far as Very Special Episodes go, this might be simultaneously one of Golden Girls most and least subtle episodes ever, in that it's not an obvious VSE until the final scene, but man does it make the most of that final scene. Most of the episode is devoted to the Girls attempting to get back their winning lottery ticket, only to be confronted with the reality of their already-existing good fortune at the homeless shelter in third act. It's not a particularly well-plotted episode, but it's hard to deny the hammer-blunt impact of hearing and seeing the people in the homeless shelter and their variety of stories.

ROSE: I have a really dumb question. SOPHIA: And I have a box of Chiclets. What's your point?

The first part of the episode shows the Girls winning the $10k jackpot on their scratch-offs -- not a life-changing amount of money, maybe, but still a very good amount for four older women to spend on luxury purchases. They all immediately begin fantasizing about what they're going to spend it on, only for Sophia to accidentally give the ticket away after Blanche puts it in her jacket pocket. I know Sophia's technically in the wrong for giving away Blanche's property, but frankly I think the other Girls bear a lot of the blame. If I had a winning lottery ticket, I would not let it out of my sight, much less leave it in the pocket of a jacket on the sofa.

The Girls proceed to go on the mother of all quests to find the jacket, going from a charity clothes store to a ritzy auction to a homeless shelter. Throughout the whole episode, they're laser-focused on their goal of getting their object of good fortune back, ignoring every sign around them pushing them in the direction of charity. From a major pop star wearing a thrifted jacket during a concert to later auction off to charity, to a congressman donating everything including the jacket to a shelter, to the priest who finds them beds to stay in at a late hour.

Then they lay down and come face-to-face with the . . . well, faces of the homeless around them, and they can no longer ignore the plight of the less fortunate as they have been the whole episode. At least, that's the point of the episode. I'm not going to pretend it's perfectly plotted -- after all, these are still the Golden Girls, and you're going to root for them to win even if they're being a little bit greedy. But as build-up to that all-important musical number, I think it's well-done. (Also, one hopes the priest would actually be able to redeem the lottery ticket, but wouldn't that constitute gambling?)

And to be honest, I'm more inclined than I've ever been to be lenient with this episode. According to the National Alliance to End Homelessness, the number of people who are homeless or don't have stable housing has increased dramatically in recent years, particularly during the pandemic years. Social issues rise and fall in importance, but at this moment in time, "Brother Can You Spare That Jacket" is perhaps even more relevant now than it was when it aired.

CONGRESSMAN: Would you mind if I said a few words to the audience? SOPHIA: For ten grand, they should let him shower with the audience.

This is especially true because the people that the Girls meet in the shelter are personable (in the case of Ben), well-educated (in the case of Kevin), and elderly (in the case of Ida); I can't say for sure if these portrayals punctured stereotypes that people in the early 90s would have had about the homeless -- but it probably says something they defy stereotypes that exist now. It's a rather chilling portrayal of different social groups for whom there is no safety net, and the show delivers it in a way that's palatable for sitcom audiences.

Still, that's not to say the episode is perfect. For starters, the episode portrays all of the Girls as rather avaricious, but later episodes will show that they -- or at least Rose -- are closer to poverty than wealth. This is something that's only disingenuous in hindsight, but perhaps her having an extra $2,500 in her bank account, even if her new friend Ben doesn't, wouldn't be the end of the world. They also tackle age discrimination in the job market, the effects of which Ben represents, more comprehensively in the next season.

BLANCHE: Here, I'll tell you what our plan is. Now, there's $10,000 at stake. To find that jacket and get that ticket, we will lie, cheat, threaten, and steal if we have to. PRIEST: *enters* Oh, hello! BLANCHE: . . . anybody got a backup plan?

Also, the contrast between the wacky hijinks of the first half of the episode and the seriousness of the second half of the episodes doesn't always work. The toothy Congressman comes across as incredibly insincere, but I don't think he's supposed to? Also, I'm not sure why the episode invokes the image of Michael Jackson and his sparkly glove so blatantly when it's apparently not allowed to use his full name?

By the way, in case anyone is wondering, no, that wasn't actually Michael Jackson. But I still love how they work around referring to him. The bodyguard calls him "Michael," the auctioneer calls him "one of the world's leading musical talents," and Sophia says he's "that guy from the Pepsi commercial." Rose wasn't too far off when she made her mistake, also -- Michael J. Fox was in a few Diet Pepsi commercials in the 80s.

Episode rating: 🍰🍰🍰🍰 (four cheesecake slices out of five)

Favorite part of the episode

An important message sometimes doesn't need to be subtle.

[optimal-living-lab]

Dental Care: How to Keep Your Teeth and Gums Healthy

Dental care is the practice of maintaining good oral hygiene and preventing dental problems such as tooth decay, gum disease, and bad breath. Dental care is important for your overall health, as poor oral health can affect your nutrition, self-esteem, and risk of infection. Here are some tips on how to take care of your teeth and gums:

Brush your teeth twice a day with fluoride toothpaste. Fluoride helps strengthen the enamel of your teeth and protects them from acid erosion and cavities. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush and gently brush all surfaces of your teeth, including the chewing, inner, and outer sides. Don’t forget to brush your tongue, as it can harbor bacteria that cause bad breath. Replace your toothbrush every three to four months or when the bristles are frayed.

Floss once a day. Flossing removes plaque and food particles that are stuck between your teeth and under your gum line, where your toothbrush can’t reach. Flossing also helps prevent gum disease and tooth decay by stimulating the gums and reducing inflammation. Use about 18 inches of floss and wrap it around your middle fingers. Gently slide the floss between your teeth and curve it around each tooth. Move the floss up and down, scraping the sides of each tooth. Use a clean section of floss for each tooth.

See a dentist regularly. A dentist can check your teeth and gums for signs of disease, cavities, or other problems. A dentist can also perform professional cleaning, which removes tartar (hardened plaque) that can’t be removed by brushing or flossing. A dentist can also provide treatments such as fillings, crowns, bridges, implants, or dentures to restore damaged or missing teeth. You should see a dentist at least once a year, even if you have no natural teeth or have dentures.

Do not smoke. Smoking can stain your teeth, damage your gums, and increase your risk of oral cancer. Smoking also reduces the blood flow to your gums, which can impair their ability to heal and fight infection. Smoking can also affect the success of dental implants and other restorative procedures. If you smoke, quit as soon as possible. There are many resources available to help you quit smoking, such as nicotine patches, gum, lozenges, or counseling.

Consider a mouthwash. Mouthwash can help rinse away food particles, bacteria, and acid from your mouth. It can also freshen your breath and provide extra fluoride protection for your teeth. However, mouthwash is not a substitute for brushing or flossing, as it can’t remove plaque or tartar from your teeth. You should use mouthwash after brushing or flossing, not before or instead of them. Choose a mouthwash that has the American Dental Association (ADA) seal of acceptance, which means it has been tested for safety and effectiveness.

Limit sugary foods and starches. Sugar and starches can feed the bacteria in your mouth, which produce acid that erodes your tooth enamel and causes cavities. Sugar and starches can also stick to your teeth and form plaque, which hardens into tartar if not removed by brushing or flossing. Limit your intake of sugary foods and drinks such as candy, cookies, cakes, soda, juice, or sports drinks. Instead, choose healthy snacks such as fruits, vegetables, cheese, nuts, or yogurt.

Drink water instead of sugary drinks. Water is the best drink for your oral health, as it helps wash away food particles, bacteria, and acid from your mouth. It also helps keep your mouth moist and prevent dry mouth, which can increase your risk of tooth decay and gum disease. Water also contains fluoride in most areas, which helps strengthen your teeth and prevent cavities. Drink water throughout the day, especially after meals or snacks.

Practice good habits for healthy teeth and gums. Besides following the tips above, you should also avoid habits that can harm your oral health such as biting your nails, chewing ice or pencils, grinding your teeth, or using your teeth as tools to open bottles or packages. These habits can chip or crack your teeth or damage your enamel. You should also wear a mouthguard when playing sports or doing activities that could injure your mouth. If you have any problems with your teeth or gums such as pain, sensitivity, bleeding, swelling, or infection, see a dentist as soon as possible.

By following these tips, you can keep your teeth and gums healthy and enjoy a beautiful smile for life.

[straightouttatheashes]

What is Phe looking forward to the most tonight? Does she have a routine that she does to get ready for Tart Booths? If she is doing the kissing part, does she try not to eat certain foods or drinks?

“Oh! I actually won’t be around tonight, so you guys all have fun yeah? Though, I don’t really have huge routines for the Booth if I am kissing. Mostly just making sure the teeth are brushed, that I got some candies or whatever to pop in my mouth when I’m not kissing, and to keep the lipstick applied all nice. We always have stuff on hand for freshening up at the booths, so I don’t really avoid any food or drink…though sometimes I don’t even get a chance to eat until after the booth!”

“Biggest thing I do for any Booth is just making sure I’m dressed well, got my tabard, glitter and lookin nice. I’ll often wear one of my favourite perfumes too.”

ty @kaisinasunblade ))