#mourning a life i will never live

[mojaves]

ALEX SHEPHERD, THE BOY WHOSE SOUL IS BOUND TO EARTH AND HE CANNOT DIE. // a.k.a how one small mistake can make you wish you stayed dead

jenny holzer / saturniinne / sun bleached flies - ethel cain / orofeaiel / cecil castellucci / violetteforevernever / ojibwa / i know it's over - the smiths / tathève simonyan / stellernorth / robert bly

[wanderingibon]

"Every Mourn Watcher must deal with grief in their own way. "

[wildsaltair]

actual footage of Maximus surrounded by the flames of my desire for him

[starmist]

I genuinely believe Naksu haunts the narrative. Her actions and existence as Naksu heavily impact the entire story. Her past, the life she lived and the shadow of it in Mudeok. But we don't actually know any of it because Naksu is not in the story.

Like. What she lost as Cho Yeong is something that we are never allowed to forget, the loss of her body, her powers, her freedom, and her impending death as a soul shifter hangs over Mudeok's head like guillotine.

All the while we don't actually know the Shadow Assassin Naksu, she died in the first episode, as soon as the story began. Other than training and killing (soul shifters) what kind of person was she when she didn't have to rely on another person else or hide or live as someone else? We don't know and we don't ever learn any of that.

Still, her absence is the plot, yet her former existence as Naksu influences everything; Yul's actions and what she was to him, Jang Uk's goal of returning her powers, the revelation of soul shifters to Park Jin, Jang Gang's departure, Jin Mu's accomplishments, the King's Star even.

Everything is about her existence but she doesn't actually exist at all anymore.

[driftingballoons]

So, how was it to not exist?

mixed reviews

[bayofwolves]

New favourite saying that only applies to Eustace Scrubb, Jill Pole, Digory Kirke, Polly Plummer and the Pevensies: Doomed by the Christian narrative.

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[lunarharp]

placeholder images for my blog for when i draw about dragon age veilguarddd. probably

[sunflowerrboyy]

just realized this is my last night living in the dorms forever and im graduating on friday

what do you mean another significant era of my life is over that's not fair

[mourningcandles]

I might make a mourning wear thing for the fashion coalition. my PC's reflection is mourning themed and this is a time of year I think about that sort of thing anyways. perhaps I'll use some collage? it's gotta feel a bit disjointed, like the Mourner isn't just related to the death of a daughter but every past death and the death of the self

[cute-chamomile]

Kinda feral over all the sibling relationships in mdzs actually. jc and wwx's love-hate relationship, "being around you is traumatic but i cant believe you're gone, you're supposed to be the ghost but I'll do the haunting, looking for you everywhere", "i gave my most prized possession to you so that you'll become who you're meant to be", "my sword recognizes you as an owner because you are part of me and I'm part of you". nh being unwilling to follow a classical cultivator path but expertly setting the whole plot into motion and fooling everyone into underestimating him, a huge part of his motivation being his desire to kill the person who killed and is now puppeteering his brother. his final act of deception being punishment to both jg AND lx, because guess what, lx hugely enabled jg's actions against his brother and is to be punished as well in nh's eyes. jiang yanli being one of the very few people who even with her dying breath believed that wwx isn't bad and something else is up, urging him to stop what he's doing because it isn't like him. lwj and lx being eachothers' confidants and you just know they both protected eachother when the rest of their sect questioned and punished their love-driven acts, "brother i want to bring someone to gusu but they're unwilling", ah, my heart.

[widevibratobitch]

advising my mom on the affair with that dude when the more she tells me about him, the more i hate him and the more im #teamwife... 💀💀💀

[butchriptide]

Urges to script out a small comic piece as a partial rewrite/reimagining sort for arc 2's epilogue, versus the fact that I will likely never actually finish it...

[shrapnarl]

.

quick dreamsnso i can find them later

[moondrops-and-ink]

I hate you 8-5 job

I hate you mental illness

I hate you exhaustion

I hate you capitalism

I hate you bills

I hate you fucked up left wrist that needs a specialist

Every single thing listed above is a weight pressing on my chest that prevents me from getting up and reaching my true height.

I loathe how almost every moment of my day is packed and I have no energy to create art when I DO have time. I hate it I hate it I hate it! I want to wake up and get coffee and sit at a nice desk covered in plants in my home and have natural light coming in through my window! I want to draw characters I know people will love, write stories that make people feel seen, loved, happy, or hurt. I want to tell my cat I'm not leaving again and I'm spending my days with him so his short life isn't wasted waiting for me to get home to then be too exhausted to properly play with him! I want to enjoy cooking again! I want to see green trees and smell fresh air! I want to wake up and not immediately be hit with dread about debt, my job, the politics trying to kill my community!

I WANT TO HEAL AND LIVE BUT AMERICAN CAPITALISM IS FUCKING STUPID.

[scrawlingskribbles]

tonight we mourn the loss of ~8 years of data/files & memories bc my iphone bricked itself so I had to factory reset & never had any backups made bc I'm a silly dumb idiot :'))))))))