#mounjaro side effects

[youtubevideopromotion]

This video reveals the shocking truth about Wagovy, Mounjaro, and Ozempic - popular GLP-1 medications with potential side effects. But don't worry; as Dr. Ferro and I explore this topic, he outlines the secrets to real success in your weight loss journey with some healthy alternatives to help you manage your condition without relying on these drugs. Stay informed and empowered about your health! For more click here

[unhinged-ghoste]

tfw you desperately message all 3 of your friends at 2am begging them to have gas x in their homes and finally getting a response and driving a few minutes away insanely bloated and burpy to grab that sweet sweet round lil green egg of relief to shove into your gullet to try and relieve your body of the demons that overtook you (I love my mounjaro but I also fucking despise it)

[thenapturalone]

I am now on the 5mg dose of mounjaro and the burps, severe gas, and bloating might do me in.

Imma wait it out in hopes that it gets better, but the discomfort is getting a little extreme.

We shall see how this week goes. On the upside, my blood sugar is down. I really want this to work because I do not want to go back to sticking myself 4 times a day.

[nfinitefreetime]

In which I want to vomit forever

I got hammered by the digestive side effects that Mounjaro is famous for so hard this morning that I had to stay home. Suffice it to say that I spent most of the morning in the bathroom and at least once seriously contemplated taking a picture of my bodily effluvia so that I could submit it to Guinness. I have never witnessed anything of the quantity that I was producing this morning. I’ll leave…

[horiogecassee]

starting a new medication when you’re wildly terrified of any sort of side effects is sooo fun! /s

[productview]

Mengara Weight Loss: A New Drug with Promising Results

Uncover the breakthrough in weight loss with Mengara, the game-changing drug that delivers exceptional results. Find out how this revolutionary medication can transform your life. Introduction Stoutness, a worldwide pandemic, presents extreme wellbeing gambles, including coronary illness, stroke, type 2 diabetes, and certain tumors. While various weight loss medications exist, their side effects…

[amaditalks]

Every year all of the big diet companies have to come up with some brand new labeling for their plans in order to encourage people to get on the January weight loss train.

This year, Weight Watchers is going further than they’ve ever gone before, by announcing that they have created a new system to give their members access to prescriptions for drugs like Ozempic and Mounjaro.

Let me remind you that these drugs only work while you’re taking them. As soon as you stop, all of your appetite comes back. Your desire to eat returns, and because it has been artificially suppressed it may feel much stronger and less controllable than it was before you took the drugs. Many people who come off these drugs, usually because of cost (because insurers are balking at coverage for weight loss) or shortages (because so many people are taking them for weight loss, which is leaving the diabetics who need them up shit creek) or side effects report that the first weeks are really difficult, mentally painful and often binging occurs.

Additionally, all of these drugs carry a real risk of creating a terribly painful and potentially deadly condition called Gastroparesis, in which your gastrointestinal system just stops functioning, you cannot digest and process food at all.

You do not need to lose weight to be healthy. You do not need to lose weight to be beautiful or attractive, to have success, or love. You do not need to lose weight in order to pursue fitness. If you have particular health needs or goals that can only be achieved by changing the way you eat, (e.g. lowering cholesterol or blood glucose or addressing gastro issues) that does not mean that you need a weight loss diet plan, just one designed toward your needs.

But more than anything, you do not ever need to put another penny into the coffers of the multibillion dollar weight loss industry, which, if it actually had a way to take a fat person and make them thin permanently (something that cannot even be achieved by surgeries that drastically rearrange digestive systems) would be a multi quadrillion dollar industry instead. 

[compo67]

feeling bleh and tired and kinda down today. it's just a lot of work to rustle up energy or positive thoughts/actions.

i got up, showered, got dressed in "going out" clothes, made myself breakfast (leftovers), ate, and did dishes before going to my PCP appt.

so like, if i did all of that, why don't i feel better?

of course, i have been chatting with H, Z, and KP. but their company can't do the work i need to do to get out of this hole.

i want to go to michael's and the dollar store to get things for quilting night with the gals on friday, and candy for K so i can send her a care package. but i may just do that stuff tomorrow instead.

pcp said this yucky physical feeling could be from mounjaro and titrating up. do any of y'all have experience with mounjaro? i tolerate it a lot better than ozempic, but i still get side effects.

thank god for zofran.

i have "permanently lonely" by orville peck stuck in my head today and that is not helping.

i'm going to try and write photo op now. if that doesn't pan out, i can try knitting or drawing. or i can take a nap before my psych and mindfulness meetings.

i am, however, looking forward to spending time with H this week and the gals on Friday.

i promised my PCP i would wear my finger splints and compression gloves more often.

*big long sigh*

okay, let's try.

[usmedilife12health]

Mounjaro: the New Diabetes Drug and Its Weight-loss Impact

Many people dream of a simple way to lose weight and permanently maintain it. Mounjaro, made by the manufacturer Eli Lilly, is the latest weight loss drug on the market and is hailed as a secret weapon. It follows the trend of the weight loss injection Ozempic, which made waves in 2022. Mounjaro has been approved in the USA since 2022 and has also received approval from the European Medicines Agency (EMA), but is currently not yet available in the UK, but could be available in 2024 in England and Wales.

Here you can read up on all the essential information about the weight loss injection Mounjaro.

In this article:

What is Mounjaro and how does it work?

How is Mounjaro used?

Is Mounjaro for Weight Loss approved in Europe?

Do you need a prescription for Mounjaro?

What are the possible Mounjaro side effects?

Is It Suitable to Take Mounjaro for weight loss?

Where can you get Mounjaro in the UK?

Frequently asked questions about Mounjaro

What Is Mounjaro and How Does It Work?

Mounjaro is an innovative medication with the active ingredient Tirzepatide, which helps patients with type-2 diabetes regulate blood sugar levels and stimulate insulin release. The active ingredient mimics two important intestinal hormones (GLP1 and GIP), which also delay gastric emptying, contributing to prolonged satiety, which can lead to the added effect of weight loss. Having a more stable blood sugar level also reduces cravings, which can be a reason for overeating.

The long-term result can therefore lead to weight loss. But a medication like Mounjaro works best alongside lifestyle changes, involving healthy eating and regular exercise.

How Is Mounjaro Used?

Mounjaro is an injectable solution that diabetes patients administer to themselves once a week. In the approval studies, a small dose was started with, and the active ingredient dosage was increased weekly to 2.5mg to the final Mounjaro dosage, which is also now recommended in practice.

Is Moujaro for Weight Loss Approved in Europe?

Various studies on type-2 Diabetes have demonstrated the positive effect of Mounjaro compared to placebo groups. Having assessed the side effects, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved Mounjaro in 2022 as a medication for type-2 diabetes patients. The EMA has also already approved Mounjaro in Europe for diabetics. However, the medication is prescription-only for people with diabetes, like comparable injections, whilst Mounjaro for weight loss is not an approved use of the drug.

Currently, the medication is not available in the UK even for diabetes patients. However, the National Institute for Health Care Excellence (NICE) have published draft guidance to approve the use of tirzepatide. Once the final guidance is published, the NHS will start rolling out the drug's use, but only for diabetes patients, and not as a general weight-loss injection. Note that this will only apply to England and Wales.

Do You Need a Prescription for Mounjaro?

Where it has been approved, Mounjaro is only available through prescription, and then only for patients with type-2 diabetes.

Ozempic is a similar injectable. In countries where it is legal to do so, some doctors prescribe it for ‘off-label’ use, meaning specifically for weight loss rather than diabetes. This leads to Ozempic often not being available – not even for the diabetics who have started therapy.

Whether similar scenarios would occur with Mounjaro when the medication is made available in the UK remains to be seen.

What Are the Possible Mounjaro Side Effects?

Amongst the study participants, the following Mounjaro side effects frequently occurred from administering Mounjaro dosages:

Diarrhoea

Nausea

Constipation

Vomiting

Decreased appetite

Most side effects were described as mild to moderate; only a small portion of the patients complained of side effects in stronger form.

In addition, the manufacturer Eli Lilly also warns of rare, severe side effects, such as:

Thyroid tumours

Pancreatitis

Hypoglycemia

Kidney failure

If a patient has a family history of thyroid cancer diseases, the manufacturer advises against using Mounjaro.

Is It Suitable to Take Mounjaro for weight loss?

The study suggests that overweight diabetes patients can achieve a significant weight reduction of up to 20 percent of their starting weight with the steady use of Mounjaro dosage. Since the medication is not approved for overweight persons without diabetes, there is no data on its effect on these cases. Off-label use is strongly discouraged because:

There is no experience with therapy in non-diabetic overweight individuals.

It would lead to significantly higher demand and supply shortages for diabetes patients, as seen if comparing Moujaro vs. Ozempic.

Where Can You Get Mounjaro in the UK?

Tirzepatide is currently going through approval for NHS prescription in England and Wales. Until then, it remains unavailable.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is It Beneficial to Take Mounjaro for weight loss?

Currently, type-2 diabetes patients are the only instances where Mounjaro is administered. Further studies are required to confirm its efficacy in helping people without diabetes to lose weight.

Is Mounjaro Available in the UK?

No, however it is on the cusp of approval as a prescription medication for type-2 diabetes patients only, who will be able to use a course of Mounjaro for weight loss and aleviating the symptoms of their condition.

How Much Weight Can You Lose with Mounjaro?

Study participants lost an average of over ten percent of their starting weight over the study period, though a weight reduction of 20 percent is not uncommon. However, the relapse rate and weight gain after the end of the Mounjaro therapy are high if a permanent change in diet and more exercise are not maintained after the course of therapy.

At Qunomedical, we are committed to providing you with the latest information and developments in the healthcare sector. If you have any questions about Mounjaro or other topics, please do not hesitate to contact us.

[pcos-and-endo-awareness]

I've had so many pelvic ultrasounds (almost one a year for the past 15 years) due to my pelvic pain and period symptoms over the years and the only thing that ever shows up is an occasional cyst.

My doctor recommended against a laparoscopy because there has never been anything to imply endometriosis.

I am not sure if it would change anything if it turns out I have it but in a way that doesn't show up on ultrasounds.

Any recommendations for what to ask my doctor next? What to research? I feel so powerless because the best I've managed in 15 years on any given birth control is about 6 months of feeling better before it takes a sharp nose dive again, and I get pretty strong side effects from most birth control so swapping sucks really bad.

To be fair, it is nearly impossible to diagnose endometriosis WITHOUT surgery. Nobody ever suggested it to me, I had no idea what it even was, until the OBGYN who did my surgery said “wow that’s one of the worst cases of endometriosis I’ve ever seen.” My surgery was to remove a cyst, we had no idea my organs would be glued together with endometriosis adhesions. Laparoscopy might be necessary for you to determine if there is endometriosis. A surgery to remove the tissue will help (birth control should keep it mostly under control, but it can grow back. I’ve heard some women go periodically to get their insides scraped out.) I’d highly suggest pushing your doctor for it, maybe even finding a new doctor or specialist who will do it. This is the only thing that will remove the pain.

Honestly I so get you about the birth control. It works for a bit and then seems to wean off. Or makes you even more sick! I switched to the depo shot a few years ago and it is the LEAST amount of pain I have been in for YEARS. I personally have very little symptoms with the depo, but I know that isn’t true for everyone. I know swapping sucks but I feel like you’ll eventually find one that works well with your body specifically. I know there’s more medications to try like a cocktail: metformin, spironolactone, mounjaro, and ozempic to name a few. I haven’t tried these yet but it’s my next step! I’ve also taken lots of vitamin supplements to help with symptoms like anemia, fatigue, and inflammation. I take things like B12, fiber supplements, probiotics, and vitamin D. I really like this supplement specifically and recommend it to my friends (a bit pricey but better than buying all the supplements individually, and I only take it 2-3X a week): Herb Krave Cyster Glow Supplement - 9-in-1 Premium Myo-Inositol & D-Chiro Inositol Blend - Hormonal Balance & Healthy Ovarian Function Support for Women – 120 Veggie Capsules https://a.co/d/1uxZkUC

Have you tried pelvic floor therapy? I had a wonderful physical therapist I saw for years, who gave me tons of resources and tips and ideas. Things like a tens machine, pelvic floor yoga, mental health tools, a list of medications to try, doctor referrals, etc. I would highly recommend getting a connection like that, especially if they have endo and can really understand your pain. Even just having someone to talk to with your shared experiences and pain is such a relief. It’s so nice for someone to just listen and understand.

I’ve read many articles online (even the good ones all have opposing advice, so take it all with a grain of salt), and I’ve bought a few books (there’s tons on Amazon!). I can’t say there’s one thing that has been all correct. Even now I am still learning. Unfortunately endo is just under researched and misunderstood. These are two books I have that I’ve taken some things into consideration. There’s tons of more books I’d like to get my hands on though. If anyone has more recommendations please reblog and add to the thread!

[lindamarry1]

The Big Apple's Slimming Secret: NYC's New Weight Loss Injection

New York City, often referred to as "The Big Apple," is known for its bustling streets, iconic skyline, and diverse population that represents cultures from around the world. It's a city that never sleeps, is always on the move, and continually evolving. One of the latest trends to sweep through the city is the use of weight loss injections. 

In this article, we will explore the phenomenon of weight loss injections in New York City, shedding light on their effectiveness, safety, and their connection to Mounjaro Weight Loss, a leading website in the field of weight management.

The Rise of Weight Loss Injections in NYC

The Battle Against Obesity in the Concrete Jungle

Obesity is a global health concern, and New York City is no exception. The fast-paced lifestyle, abundance of tempting street food, and stressors of city living can contribute to weight gain and obesity. With nearly 1 in 4 New Yorkers considered obese, there's a growing need for effective weight loss solutions.

Enter Weight Loss Injections

Weight loss injections have gained significant popularity in recent years, offering a convenient and potentially effective way for city dwellers to shed those extra pounds. These injections are designed to assist individuals in their weight loss journey by suppressing appetite, boosting metabolism, and targeting stubborn fat deposits.

Types of Weight Loss Injections

There are several types of weight loss injections available in New York City, including:

B12 Injections: These injections contain vitamin B12, which is believed to boost energy levels and metabolism, aiding in weight loss.

Lipotropic Injections: Lipotropic injections consist of a blend of compounds like methionine, inositol, and choline that help break down fat in the body.

HCG Injections: Human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) injections are often used in conjunction with a very low-calorie diet to promote rapid weight loss.

Saxenda (Liraglutide) Injections: An FDA-approved prescription medication, Saxenda, is gaining popularity as an injectable weight loss solution.

Mounjaro Weight Loss: A Beacon in the Weight Loss Journey

The Trusted Source for Weight Loss Information

Mounjaro Weight Loss, a website dedicated to providing reliable information on weight management and healthy living, has become a beacon of hope for those seeking effective weight loss solutions in New York City. The website offers a wealth of resources, including articles, expert advice, and user testimonials. Visit our website Mounjaro Weight Loss for more information.

Expert Advice and Guidance

Mounjaro Weight Loss features expert advice from nutritionists, fitness trainers, and medical professionals who share their insights on weight loss injections and other methods. Visitors can access articles, videos, and interactive tools to better understand their weight loss options.

User Success Stories

Real-life success stories are a testament to the effectiveness of weight loss injections and other methods discussed on Mounjaro Weight Loss. Readers can find inspiration and motivation from individuals who have achieved remarkable transformations.

The Effectiveness and Safety of Weight Loss Injections

The Science Behind Weight Loss Injections

To understand the effectiveness of weight loss injections, it's essential to delve into the science behind them. These injections often target specific hormonal pathways or metabolic processes to promote weight loss. Saxenda, for example, mimics a hormone that regulates appetite.

Weighing the Pros and Cons

Like any weight loss method, weight loss injections have their pros and cons. It's crucial to consider factors such as potential side effects, cost, and long-term sustainability before embarking on this journey.

Pros of Weight Loss Injections

Rapid Results: Some injections, when combined with a healthy lifestyle, can lead to rapid weight loss.

Convenience: Injections are generally easy to administer and can be integrated into a busy urban lifestyle.

Appetite Control: Many injections help in reducing cravings and controlling appetite, making it easier to stick to a healthy diet.

Cons of Weight Loss Injections

Cost: The expenses associated with weight loss injections can add up over time.

Potential Side Effects: Some individuals may experience side effects like nausea, diarrhea, or injection site reactions.

Not a Long-Term Solution: Weight loss injections may not address the root causes of obesity, and their long-term effectiveness is still under study.

The Future of Weight Loss in NYC

The Evolving Landscape

As New Yorkers continue to seek effective weight loss solutions, the landscape of weight management in the city is evolving. Advances in medical research and technology are likely to bring about new and improved methods for achieving and maintaining a healthy weight.

The Role of Mounjaro Weight Loss

Mounjaro Weight Loss will undoubtedly play a pivotal role in disseminating information about these emerging weight loss techniques. Their commitment to providing accurate, evidence-based information will empower individuals to make informed choices about their health.

Conclusion

New York City's hustle and bustle may have contributed to its battle with obesity, but it's also the birthplace of innovative solutions like weight loss injections. As the city strives for healthier lifestyles, websites like Mounjaro Weight Loss serve as invaluable resources, guiding New Yorkers toward safe and effective weight management strategies. The future of weight loss in NYC is promising, with a combination of medical advances and trusted information sources leading the way.

In the city that never sleeps, achieving a healthier weight is not just a dream—it's a reality within reach, thanks to the convergence of science, technology, and dedicated resources like Mounjaro Weight Loss. 

Whether you have questions about weight loss injections, need personalized advice, or simply want to share your own success story, we're here to listen and help. Your path to a healthier lifestyle begins with a single message or call.

Remember, you're not alone in your journey to a healthier, happier you. Contact us today and let's take the first step together. Your health and well-being are our top priorities, and we look forward to being a part of your success story.

[grandmatapati]

Just reading about the side effects makes me queasy:

"The primary complaints from users of Ozempic, Wegovy, and Mounjaro sound like the kind of thing you can fix with a bottle (or three) of Pepto Bismol: nausea, upset stomach, diarrhea, and what one patient called “power vomiting.” But these might be less like classic “side effects” of a drug than a mechanism of weight loss itself, as The Guardian recently reported. By making the feeling of eating (and, in some cases, even hydrating) actively disgusting to the user, the drug curbs their consumption—similar to the experience of bariatric patients, who can only fit a few ounces of food in their stomachs at a time. "

Years ago I read that in response to a survey a startling percentage of women indicated they'd rather be dead than fat. That seems to be the idea behind a lot of medical researchers' response to body fat: get rid of it at any cost to the patient. Quality of life? I guess that seems impossible to doctors and scientists if you're fat. I'm here to tell them it's not. My quality of life is all the better for not having weight loss surgery and, instead, normalizing my relationship with food post-dieting.

[sirfrogsworth]

Mounjaro's Revenge: The Inevitable Adventures of Froggie, Chapter Unknown

I keep saying I can't leave the house without having some kind of adventure. And I really thought I was going to have a quick, uneventful doctor's visit with my monthly checkup this past Wednesday. I'd go in, they'd check the box Medicare requires every month, and I'd come straight home.

But adventure seeks me out. I can't seem to escape its grasp. And, yes, sometimes I like having adventures. They give me something to write about. And sometimes they are fun memories. But sometimes adventures just make me tired. And not all adventures are positive.

For the past 3 weeks I have been on the second dosage amount of Mounjaro. Unlike the Ozempic, I have had a few issues with side effects. Roughly 48 hours after my injection, I get sick to my stomach and feel pukey. It lasts for about two hours. I either vomit and lose the urge or I hold it in and it fades. I am then compelled to take a nap.

Considering the weight loss and glucose control, getting sick for an hour or two per week isn't a huge deal. There is a good chance I will get used to the medication as time goes on, but even if I don't, I am okay with this consequence.

My injection day was Tuesday, and based on past experience, I figured I'd have until Thursday morning before I got sick. The past 2 episodes happened at almost identical times, so I figured Wednesday wouldn't be a problem.

But right before my doctor's appointment I started feeling extremely... rough.

Optimistic for no good reason, I was hopeful I could get through the appointment before the urge to vomit arrived.

I get to the office and there are 3 patients ahead of me. This was not a good sign. My doctor tends to overbook and I was probably going to have a bit of a wait. I arrived in the middle of a lively conversation about where to get a good steak in St. Louis. I'm used to waiting rooms being full of quiet and bored people staring at their phones so when I opened the door it felt like the conversation smacked me in the face.

The cast of characters were as follows...

There was an older black man who had the spirit of a kindly grandpa. He seemed nice and wise and was enjoying the steak conversation. Let's call him, Old Guy.

There was an older white fellow who was anxious about the wait time due to having another appointment soon. He was on hold with the other doctor's office trying to delay his appointment time. He was only mildly interested in steak due to that distraction. I already used Old Guy, so... Anxious Guy.

And then there was the steak expert who was leading the conversation. Actually, leading is not strong enough. He was *dominating* the conversation. As I sat down and his visage entered my field of view, I was a bit taken aback.

Do you know how in Star Trek everyone has a mirror universe doppelganger who may look the same, but they usually have personality traits that are reversed?

They are often identified by arch overacting or a change in facial hair.

The steak expert was my mirror universe counterpart. He was of similar age, height, and weight. Same color hair and eyes. He even wore similar clothing.

But he had a goatee instead of a beard. *gasp*

And he wore... sandals. *double gasp*

He had clearly been in a recent transporter mishap.

I mean, I could *never* wear sandals. The world is not ready to handle my nude foot and I find very few sandals have the load-bearing capacity necessary for people my size. You are asking for foot pain if you are over 300 pounds and wearing sandals.

Mirror Froggie was very outgoing and personable, but he had trouble filtering what he said and was often obliviously rude. He clearly thought himself to be hilarious but struggled to make even kindly Old Guy chuckle.

Old Guy said, "I think Longhorn makes a decent steak for the money."

And then Mirror Me's unfiltered response... "Longhorn is shit. You shouldn't eat there. You are wasting your money on shit steak."

"I don't know, I've always enjoyed..."

"I'm telling you, friend, it is shit steak. End of story."

You could tell that made Old Guy feel bad for suggesting what he liked. But he brushed it off and asked for a better suggestion. Mirror Froggie confidently told him of a restaurant called "Sam's" that had "the best steak in town."

Old Guy proceeded to ask Siri to look up Sam's and it took a few tries. He reminded me of my dad fighting with the iPhone and repeating things over and over with increasing volume. I think Old Guy wasn't specific enough as he got the wholesale club on the first few attempts. Finally he said, "SAMMM'S STEAKHOUSSSSE" and found success. Old Guy saw the reviews and some of them were... not great.

But Mirror Froggie was like, "You can't read reviews. They're all liars." And I was questioning why people would take the time to lie about a small St. Louis steakhouse, but whatever. He then said it was because the restaurant was in disrepair and needed new plumbing, but that's why they could sell such amazing steak at reasonable prices.

Theories are less logical in the Mirror Universe. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anxious Guy got off his phone call and cursed into the void. He missed his other appointment. He interjected with, "Is that Sam's place expensive?" And that sent Mirror Froggie into a long diatribe about the price of meat at different places and his annoyance at steak-related inflation. Soon after, Anxious Guy finally got in to see the doctor. Old Guy was keeping Mirror Froggie busy with conversation, so I just closed my eyes and rested as they discussed the price of oversized shrimp "as big as your fist". I guess they ran out of things to say about steak.

As they were talking I started to get a spidey-sense about Mirror Froggie.

He *needed* conversation.

He *needed* distraction.

His boredom abhors a vacuum.

Whenever there was a lull or silent moment, I could see him getting very antsy. And if Old Guy got called in before Mirror Froggie... I was going to have a problem.

I was feeling sicker by the moment and did not have the bandwidth to help some stranger with his inability to accept boredom.

And... Old Guy was next.

Because, of course he was.

I feel like sitting there with my eyes closed and also not having said a word the entire time was a pretty decent social cue that I was not interested in talking. But Mirror Me decided to poke that notion with a stick in order to find a way in.

He speaks barely above a whisper, "I wish I could sleep in a public waiting room. Not sure how you do that."

"Yeah, I'm not feeling well. Nothing contagious, just very tired."

"Well, if you're sick, I guess you're in the right place, am I right? *long pause* Cuz we're next to a hospital. *short pause* Right?"

Oh great, he's a joke explainer.

Mirror Froggie did not care about my desire to sit in peace while I waited. His foot was anxiously a-tappin' and he was vibrating with energy that needed someplace to go. He tried standing up and walking in circles. And I guess because my eyes were shut he decided to narrate his walking and stretching to keep me informed. That satisfied him for roughly 20 seconds. He sat back down and was clearly struggling to be alone with his own thoughts.

"Hey, friend."

I open my eyes slowly.

"Do you see that magazine next to you? Would you mind handing that to me?"

I thought, "This is good. He's seeking out an alternate source of stimulation. He can read the magazine and I can rest until my turn."

Seriously, brain... where is this optimism coming from? I've been a cynical misanthrope for like 4 years now.

He flips through a few pages. "Look at this. It's got Oprah on the cover. It's got to be good, right? They don't put Oprah on the cover unless it is good, ya know? Though she doesn't look right after losing all that weight. You know what I mean, friend?"

Well, shit.

I didn't give him a distraction, I gave him a conversation starter. Still, I kept my eyes closed in the hopes he would give up.

"Hey, friend."

Crap.

"You want to hear a joke?"

I open my eyes. I'm not getting out of this.

"Sure." as unenthusiastically as I can manage.

He proceeds to tell three jokes all strung together. All of them terrible and none of them coherent enough for me to remember. I gave him complimentary singular chuckles even though two of the punchlines didn't make sense. I think one was about accidentally eating cat food.

"Hey, friend... how'd you like my jokes?"

I jokingly replied back, "Well, you said *a* joke and that was *three* jokes. That wasn't what I agreed to."

He chuckles and I close my eyes again.

"Hey, friend."

Jesus Christ, would someone jingle their keys for this dude?

"Do you want to hear a 'locker room' joke?"

Oh fuck me.

"I... guess?"

There was no way out of this aside from unpleasant confrontation and my energy calculation of that was much higher than just suffering through a dirty joke.

Here it is, as best as I can remember...

"So there is a pirate ship. And the captain has a beautiful daughter who has come aboard. He tells her that the crew hasn't seen a woman in a long time and they aren't safe to be around, so she should keep a razor blade 'down there.' After the voyage he assembles all of his men and instructs them to pull down their pants. Every one of them has had their dick cut off... except for one. The captain goes up to the only one with their dick intact and says, 'Thank you for not deflowering my only daughter. You should be commended for your restraint. And as a reward, I will make you my first mate.'"

I literally cannot type the punchline because it was an unintelligible noise. Basically, Mirror Froggie imitated someone without a tongue trying to speak.

Yeah. That happened.

I could not hide my disdain for this joke and I was feeling too awful to muster up any kind of response. He seemed confused by the absence of laughter from his wonderful rapey body mutilation joke.

"You get it, friend? He lost his tongue because he ate her pussy."

Yes, explaining the joke always helps... friend.

In whatever the opposite of the nick of time is, moments after this stranger said "ate her pussy"... the nurse calls Mirror Froggie in for his appointment.

I would feel relieved, but the Mounjaro side effects were getting worse and the urge to lose the remaining nutritional value from last night's dinner was increasing by the moment. I was next in line, so I was hoping Mirror Froggie didn't take up too much of the doctor's time with horrible "locker room" jokes and dubious steakhouse suggestions.

Roughly 5 minutes later the nurse calls me in to get my vitals. She weighs me and I am down another 3 pounds. That reminded me of why I was suffering this tummy tantrum. My blood pressure was perfect but my pulse was quite high. I was very anxious holding in my stomach contents and I tried to explain, but she asked me to try and relax to lower my heart rate. We compromised when I got it down to 107.

The nurse keeps forgetting that I don't really have a family anymore. And I know she has a lot of patients in and out and they probably all blend together. But she always ends up asking me questions that require me to remind her my parents are dead.

"Did your mom put up the Christmas tree yet?"

I went with, "No tree this year. Too much work."

"Aw, that's too bad. I actually got mine up early this year. You gotta put up a tree for Christmas."

Thankfully her job was done at this point and she abruptly ended the conversation.

Next up, the pee guy.

He has never actually told me what his name is so that is just what I call him in my head.

Every month I have to sacrifice my urine to the gods of Medicare so they know I am taking my meds and not selling them on the mean streets of Spanish Lake. And the pee guy always comes in to collect my sample. The little cup is kept in a white paper bag for discretion. He used to just give you a clear ziplock, and that was a little embarrassing, as everyone in the waiting room could see your pee. I definitely prefer the new white paper bag system.

It could be my lunch or some cookies or a bunch of peanuts.

Who is to know?

The pee guy is a bit of a talker as well. But the nice thing about his conversational style is that you can't get in a word edgewise. If he asks you a question, he'll even answer it for you. This requires very little effort on my part.

"Hey there, Mr. Benjermin!"

(I have noticed Ben-jer-min is a common pronunciation among Black folks in the area. Not sure if that is just a St. Louis thing or not. Perhaps I have a dialectologist follower who knows.)

I wave hello.

"How's it going, Mr. Benjermin!? Good? Good. Just gotta get your sample. Still taking the same meds? (I nod yes.) Okay, just need you to sign here. New Year's is coming up. Gotta be careful not to party too hard. You'll be regretting that. Though you don't look like a drinker to me. (I nod no.) Yeah, you're a good one. You keep it clean. Okay then, Mr. Benjermin. You're all set. Here is your new sample cup for next time."

He replaces my white paper bag with a new white paper bag and leaves the room without me saying a word. And I'm just realizing he asks me if I am a drinker quite a lot. He must sense my teetotaler spirit or something because he always assumes (correctly) that I don't drink. He's just really concerned about me partying too hard.

Finally the doctor comes in.

My doctor is kind, compassionate, and competent. The almost 3 Cs. But he's got a touch of what I call "Boomer-itis." He's on the progressive side of most things but there are a few ingrained sensibilities from that generation he didn't escape. It's mostly harmless. Though he said something sexist in front of a nurse practitioner student during my last visit that made her roll her eyes behind him.

He greets me and I tell him I'm not feeling well from the Mounjaro and that I am still recovering from my trip to Florida. He tells me that a lot of people can get sick for days from these new drugs, so getting sick for an hour or two isn't so bad. I agree, though I really wish I had not gotten sick at the exact time of this appointment. I keep eyeballing the trash can in the corner just in case things go sideways in my tummy.

He asks about my trip to Florida and I predicted that—as I already had photos ready to go on my phone. I scroll through them, showing off amazing cityscapes and mountainous clouds and an orange sunset over a lake—hoping to impress him with my photography skills to no avail. And then he sees Katrina. Now, I am not blind to her attractiveness, but I do sometimes forget how people respond when they see her next to me.

"Oh, wow. She's beautiful!" he exclaims.

I almost felt flattered on her behalf. But then his Boomer-itis starts to kick in. And he repeats, "Yeah, she's *really* beautiful. Just a friend, you said?" His facial expression and tone of voice are like, "You poor thing, you have been friendzone'd." And probably a touch of, "She's out of your league, buddy." I don't know exactly how to describe it, but it is this familiar look of pity and worry. This is usually followed up with a probing question trying to figure out what our "deal" is. Why is it so odd to that generation that a man and woman can earnestly be just friends and perfectly content with that arrangement?

It would be the easiest thing in the world to just say, "She's gay" and that she isn't "out of my league" as she plays an entirely different sport. (Competitive Subaru Ownership?) But my friendship with Katrina is not some consolation prize due to her queerness. I shouldn't have to explain or justify why I'm "just friends" or why I'm not "being led on."

In a worried tone, "So, umm, how'd you two meet?"

There it is.

"She is an artist. I posted some of her work on my website and it was very popular and helped people find her work. She messaged me to say thank you and we were instant friends. 10 years later she's my best friend and very much like family."

Thankfully his pity face evaporated and he finally saw how long-lasting and meaningful this friendship was. But it is a weirdly common obstacle I have noticed whenever people see a fat guy has a conventionally attractive friend.

Friends are great. Friends have been more supportive and beneficial to me than any romantic entanglement I've ever had.

All of my friends are hot and queer and that's awesome.

Note to self: Put that on a t-shirt.

Knowing how difficult it was, he congratulated me on surviving the trip and we wrapped up our appointment quickly. All I have left to do is check in with his assistant, get my prescriptions sent in, and make my next appointment. I can see the finish line, but my tummy is rumbling and I am making contingency plans for the Great Upchuck of 2023™. I'm clocking trashcans with plastic liners. I'm trying to remember where the nearest restroom is. And then I look down at the little white paper bag containing my urine sample cup and think, "Last resort."

Trinica (the competence ninja and my favorite person in the office) is processing my meds and searching the calendar for next month's visit. Shelly is keeping quiet and working on her computer. I start pacing back and forth. I'm not sure what I think that will do, but I think desperation is taking over at this point.

Shelly sees me and asks, "How's that whole disability situation going for you?" She is acting like my best friend now after cursing at me on the phone. I have a feeling she had an unpleasant conversation with my doctor after that episode because she isn't this sweet and nice to anyone.

I give her the update, "Everything is submitted. My lawyer is happy with all of the records we were able to find. It's just a waiting game now. It could be a couple of months but if I have to see a judge it could be over a year."

She commiserates with me about how slow the process can be.

Then, out of fucking nowhere, Mirror Froggie reappears in the little sliding reception window like a jumpscare in a horror movie.

Are you fucking kidding me with this guy?

"Hey Trinica, do you have a business card for the doctor? I want to recommend him to Doug."

Who the fuck is Doug? Are we supposed to know Doug? Is Doug the tongueless pussy-eating pirate who needs medical attention?

Trinica looks in her desk and is unable to find a spare card. So she stops processing my stuff and starts hunting around the office. She has a bad leg so she is slowly limping while searching every desk. I have never wanted to strangle anyone before, but my doppeldouche was really pushing his luck.

At this point I am just staring at the little trash can in the blood-draw room. I can feel the scrambled eggs reversing course through my digestive system.

Trinica finds a fucking card for fucking Doug and fucking Mirror Froggie finally fucks off to bother people that are not me.

Trinica gets me all sorted, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and make to the car.

I sit in the driver's seat, and with that unearned optimism, say to myself, "I made it."

For all of you who are squeamish about bodily fluids, you can just pretend this is where the story ends. Everything was fine. I made it home and was happy and comfortable and nothing gross happened. The nausea faded away and I lived happily ever after.

The End.

Thank you for reading this and have a lovely day.

Just scroll on by to the next post!

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.

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Okay, so you all probably thought I was foreshadowing a monumental barf.

But foreshadowing is typically subtle. You don't want to give away the ending. Of course this was going to end in barf. The barfing was inevitable. The barf was not what I was *actually* foreshadowing at all.

Did anyone catch what it was?

You know that discrete white paper bag?

The one that could be for peanuts or maybe a sammich and definitely not my urine sample cup?

The last resort?

Look, it's all I had.

I was not going to make it home. I was not going to make it back into the bathroom. No trash bins on the horizon. Nothing in my car.

At first it was just an itty bitty baby barf. A perfect amount to be contained in a flimsy paper bag. I felt a relief wash over me.

"That's all?" still being stupidly optimistic.

But then I made that noise.

That... pre-retch noise.

That one where your head kinda juts forward and your lips make a giant O shape and you make a very specific grunting sound. That sound where if another person hears it, they involuntarily make the same specific grunting sound.

This was when I had one of those movie moments when a character knows they are about to die and they can't do anything about it. And I made this exact face as I waited for the impending doom of a vomitous explosion.

The Great Upchuck of 2023™ commenced.

And it was... intense.

Everything inside my stomach transferred rapidly, furiously, projectile-ly into the bag of foreshadowing.

I mean, I'm pretty much convinced my stomach is a TARDIS because I do not remember ingesting that much food. This sheer volume of barf had to be coming from another dimensional plane.

I could see it staining the sides of the bag as it was clearly not meant for this. When I finished it was barely intact—soggy, if you will. When I was absolutely sure I had ralph'd to completion, my only option was to gently place it on the passenger's side floor (sans floor mats). All I needed was for it to last 5 more minutes on the trip home and then I could dispose of it and pretend this never happened.

Physically I felt such a relief. Sometimes there is this post-puke euphoria where you just feel, well... lighter. Unburdened with no longer having that feeling. Happy it is over with.

I place the key in the ignition and head for home. As I'm driving I can't help but stare at the bag. I can see it mocking me as it changes colors. The exterior was getting... damp. If this were someone else's vomit, I would have been vomiting because of it. Just... so gross.

I get home and park the car. I walk around to the passenger side to begin the extraction process. I pull the trash can close and I have to psych myself up to deal with this horrible hurling happenstance.

And this next part, well... it would be hilarious if it weren't so damned disgusting.

I stare at the bag.

The bag stares back at me.

I take a deep breath and approach the bag.

The bag grins at me.

I gingerly grasp the very tippy-top in an effort to not touch any of the offending material.

I slowly lift up the bag.

And the very instant it reaches just enough height to do the most damage...

The bottom falls out.

If the bag had broken just as I was picking it up, the carnage would have been minimal. Only a small area to clean up. But clearly this bag read the Wikipedia page on air burst nuclear weapons. It knew you get a much more devastating blast radius if you detonate from an elevated position.

A TARDIS worth of partially digested scrambled eggs just pour and splatter and spray onto the floor of my car. It looked like the bag was puking out my puke.

The bag is now dead but I can feel its ghost laughing at me.

I stand there frozen holding the top of this evil deceased white paper bag trying and failing to process what just happened.

I realize I have no idea what to do with this situation. This is something that would usually be followed with, "MOoooOOOoooommmmm! How do I clean up vomit?"

And she would say, "You'll never do it right. I'll clean it up."

And I'd pretend to be like, "Oh no, it's my mess. I could never let you do that for me."

And she'd insist and break out her endless supply of very specific cleaning potions and magics and soon it would be as if the vomit didn't even exist.

So, I guess my question is... do I have to get my car detailed now?

The Actual End.

[elitebodyhomepolyclinic]

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[mamasonmounjaro]

This is where I begin.

Today is Thursday 23rd of January 2025. Another year is not going to just pass me by with me being ignorant about my morbidly obese frame and the health implications that has on not only me, but my entire family.

I spoke with my doctors today and have an appointment for Friday 7th February to discuss the on-going health conditions that I have and whether I’m suitable to get Mounjaro on the NHS. Whilst I intend on getting started straight away and paying privately, I am aware that this cannot be a long-term solution, we simply cannot afford it. I’d love to be able to sit in my privileged home and say to you that we’ll foot the bill ourselves but it’s really not something we can afford long-term. I’m also aware of the NHS waiting list. We don’t own our home and we are on a low-income. I believe in being truthful and honest with anyone and everyone who reads this, so there you have it. Pick me apart if you will - it is what it is and it’s my truth.

I am ordering my first Mounjaro pen tomorrow. I am hopeful that it arrives soon so I can get started. I know how it works, what the common side effects are and what the more serious side effects are of it. I have also completed the health assessment that is required. It should be a straight forward process - although I am nervous about the video consultations that apparently have to happen. For anyone that knows me, I am not a people person, I am diagnosed with Autism and I hate meeting people I don’t know, especially if that’s via a video-linked meeting. It is what it is I guess; I just wish I could tell them via email my weight loss, any effects etc to continue, instead of the video link meeting. It feels formal, a bit like a job interview. I’m already worried for it - ridiculous, I know.

I aim to update this blog with any exercise I am able to do, the meals that I’ve eaten and to share any and all weight-loss, as it so happens. I am not alone in this journey, I know that but it definitely feels lonesome.