often I get stuck in body loop of sign "thank you", blow kiss, sign "I love you", over over over again. it is what I sign at mum or dad when they leaving room after help me with something.
happens even to people I don't like or don't mean it to say to them.
even after mum leave the room, still body sign over and over. even when alone in room.
happens with other signs too, just most common loop is this. frustrating.
((also sometimes funny, sign "I love you" at doctor or stranger or blow kiss in middle of appointment 😂. have doctor tomorrow hope it not be awkward))
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i love ur owl house works! i have never done a request before, but here's my suggestion: autistic hunter struggling with his motor skills and frustrating himself, you can fill in the blanks. i am autistic and lack motor skills and have never seen that addressed in autistic hunter fics and i know I'll love whatever you come up with
Chronology : During the timeskip at the beginning of 3x01
Pairings : Camila & Hunter, Camila & Luz
Headcanon : Autistic!Hunter with motor issues because of it
Author's note : I've talked about this before but it's rare for me to get especially excited a request and this is one of the ones where as soon as I read it I got fuckin HYPED. I also lack refined motor skills, which I've written about with other characters and fandoms before but not Hunter I don't think so here we are
Camila really hadn't asked that much of him. She'd given a very simple chore. Hunter, can you sweep up the kitchen floor, please? she'd asked, and he was eager to help, too.
So, why was this so miserable?
It wasn't that he didn't understand the function of the broom, his hands just didn't want to cooperate. He'd seen Camila and Luz and Vee all do this task before with relative ease. What was wrong with him?
Naturally, his anxiety began to build as he struggled and failed to do the one, simple task he'd been given. Memories of similar instances flew through his head- Times where Belos would give him a simple task and he'd mess it up because his hands didn't work. Those times were always met with severe punishment, so-
"Hunter?" Camila asked as she walked back into the kitchen, only to find the floor barely swept. "Can you finish sweeping, please?" she asked patiently. Hunter wanted to cry. "I'm gonna be making dinner here soon"
"Sorry, I'm sorry" he replied a bit frantically, trying his best to continue sweeping but continuously getting caught as his hands refused to do what they were supposed to. Camila frowned as he grew more and more hysterical until he eventually threw the broom to the floor and ran out of the house.
Luz walked in because of the noise. "Is everything okay, mamá?"
"Hunter was having some sort of trouble sweeping, so he threw this on the ground and ran out of the house" she gestured to the abandoned broom. Luz mirrored her mother's frown. "I think he may be having a panic attack" Camila realized. "Can you keep an eye on the others and make sure they don't come outside while I'm checking on him?"
"Yes, ma'am"
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"Hunter?" Camila asked as she spotted the blonde sitting right on the backdoor stairs. He went rigid and seemed ready to bolt again. "You're not in trouble, don't worry" she was quick to reassure. "Can I come talk with you about what just happened?"
"Okay" he allowed and she smiled as she sat next to him on the backdoor stairs. "Do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"I'm sorry" he apologized, and there were tears in his eyes. Camila's heart sank. What had they done to this poor kid? "I wasn't ignoring your order, I just-"
"Order?" she asked, bewildered.
"Yeah?" he replied, equally bewildered by her reaction. "You gave me an order, and I didn't do it, which-"
"Order..."
"Apologies if that's the incorrect wording" he told her, and for a moment the tears grew a little thicker. "I promise I wasn't ignoring it, though. I just... Couldn't"
"Why?" she asked, though she seemed to just want to understand. Hunter swallowed thickly. Whenever he'd told Belos the real reason before, it hadn't ended well, but he didn't have any better explanation, so...
"My hands don't really... Work" he explained hesitantly, shutting his eyes tight as though expecting to be hit. "Like I can write or draw or flip pages in a book fine, but when it comes to certain tasks like sweeping or tying my shoes or... I don't know, that stupid cup song Luz was trying to teach us" he chuckled. "My hands just don't wanna cooperate, even though I understand how to do it"
"Oh" Camila said and he was already planning what to do if she kicked him out, but she didn't do that. He risked opening an eye and was greeted with a kind smile. "Thank you for telling me, Hunter" she said. What? "I won't ask you to sweep again"
"Wait, you aren't mad?"
"No, of course not, mijo" she replied earnestly. "You have motor issues. Why would I be mad at you for that?"
"I..." he sighed. "I don't know. I'm sorry"
"Hey, no more apologies" she nudged him gently. "You don't need to apologize for existing in my household, okay? Here, how about you come and help me cook, can you do that?"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Alright" she smiled. "I'll finish sweeping real quick and then we'll get started"
"Thank you, ma'am"
"No need"
DO NOT REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORMS!! This will be crossposted on AO3 under the same username
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So a friend introduced me to this clothing brand called The Squeaky Wheel!
They make clothing with messages and art which are geared towards disabled people, and most of them seem pretty wholesome. Here are some examples.
So if you are interested in these kinds of products, here you go!
I’m not extremely versed on disability theory and discourse, so in the off-chance I’m actually shouting out a problematic company I’d like to be informed.
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[TEXT ID: this system's motor issues makes it hard for them to type sometimes]
[IMG ID: a light purple rectangular box with an icon of a hand playing with blocks and a stacking ring toy to the left, and the text 'this system' motor issues makes it hard for them to type sometimes' to the right.]
[TEXT ID: this system's motor issues makes it hard for them to type sometimes, so they use voice notes instead]
[IMG ID: a light purple rectangular box with an icon of a hand playing with blocks and a stacking ring toy to the left, and the text 'this system' motor issues makes it hard for them to type sometimes, so they use voice notes instead' to the right.]
–
Like & Reblog if you use!
(Reblogs can be private)
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Stuck
It is so hard to find the words to describe what my body feels like, especially when I am stuck, but here I have tried my best.
There’s three main different stages, that I am aware of:
1- Frozen. I am completely frozen in space, can’t move physically but very aware of what’s going on around me. Often my limbs become stiff but can be moved into a different position by another person and will stay where they’re put. Usually my tics stop almost completely while in this state, or they come in bursts at the same time as my fingers twitch from my own effort of trying to break out. I can come in and out of this state a few times before it fully ends. It tends to come in episodes. My eyes become fixed on one point, I sometimes even stop breathing for a few seconds or my breathing can become very heavy and panting, because my anxiety levels skyrocket and I panic once I realise I can’t move. Not knowing how long I will be stuck like this is terrifying.
2- The slow, heavy state. This feels like trying to control a videogame character with a faulty controller, like I’m pushing down hard on the joystick and buttons but the character (my body) is only responding in small, slow movements and twitches. I can spend hours upon hours in this state and at the moment it feels like my main state of being. I am usually able to type/use AAC very very slowly (as I am doing right now- slowly tapping each letter and willing my hands to move), but often my eyes become fixed on one point and everything goes out of focus. It is unfortunately rather easy to slip in and out of a fully frozen state while in this slow, heavy half-frozen state. My tics are actually calmer in this state than the fully frozen one, because it’s more long-lasting and I often lose some awareness of what’s going on around me. I feel as if my mind is also affected by this particular state in a way that it’s not when I’m fully frozen. The only part of my body I can voluntarily move in this state is my arms, and often my hands go floppy so I have to lift my wrist above my iPad and let my finger fall onto the screen to select the right letter.
3- The hyper, fast, frantic state. This doesn’t happen often at all but very occasionally I get a sudden burst of (false) energy (it’s definitely more adrenaline than energy and feels like buzzing beneath my skin). When I feel this I must move, stim, make noise, everything feels incredibly frantic and chaotic. Whenever I have a tic attack it happens in this state. I can become very angry OR very excited, however both emotions feel false and exaggerated. Usually my meltdowns happen in this state, the rest of the time I’m much more inclined to shutdown.
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somebody kill me why does my body hate me, LIKE BRO, I AM FEEDING YOU, I AM SLIGHTLY TAKING CARE OF YOU, I AM KEEPING YOU ALIVE AND IN RETURN YOU GIVE ME, LET ME LIST THIS BULLSHIT
nausea
pain
acid reflux
joints popping out of place
eczema
weird ass allergies
sensory issues
chronic hiccups
insomnia
psychosis from insomnia sometimes
shit memory
passing out when i get up
way too much saliva
way too much mucus
sensitive ass skin
motor tics
difficulty breathing
numbness
i fucking hate my body
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