#motivation hit me like a truck
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i-crave-sleep Ā· 1 year ago
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Scarian zombie apocalypse AU by @uhohbestie that I absolutely fell in love with!!! Genuinely loved the third chapter today, as well as the previous ones, canā€™t wait for next week!
(Hopefully my designs were close, although Iā€™m fairly certain I missed some stuff)
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honeyandthunderstorms Ā· 21 days ago
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I AM WRITING AN UPDATE TO CIGCYR, I REPEAT, I AM WRITING AN UPDATE TO CIGCYR
some of you might not find this exciting, but for me, as someone who has been struggling to write anything recently, it is very exciting.
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joeltallishbean Ā· 1 year ago
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Joel stared into his reflection, trying his damned hardest to focus. His eyes looked the same as they usually did. Or what was now the usual. Cold, sullen, tired. He looked like he'd have the life taken from him before being brutally, and cruelly, shoved back into him several times.
His hair was still shoulder height and brown with the iconic green streak. His irises were also still brownā€”more amberā€”but his pupils seemed dilated. He could hardly see them unless he looked closer and he didn't feel like he could do that right now.
A sigh slipped past his lips at the sight. He frowned, holding his hand over his eyes. Maybe he just needed to accept that this was the way things were now. That it was too late for him to change again. He was gone so who else would be there to save him from himself?
Well it was too late to do anything either way. Grian was gone, Xelqua was back and Joel was left to fend for himself again. That's how it'd always been. A constant cycle of love and hate and pain and he never tried to find a way out of it.
Why would he? This was fine. He wiped his hand over his face, looking back into the mirror. He stumbled back, confused. He had changed in almost an instant. His beard was gone now, no stubble left. He rubbed his pointer finger across his chin, feeling irked at the unfamiliarā€”and yet still somehow familiarā€”smooth feeling.
His eyes weren't that much different than how they were before. They were a deeper brown though, closer to the color of dirt maybe. But they held life to them, something his previous appearance could never manage. At least not now.
He looked younger, somehow, too. His hair was shorter, no longer meeting his shoulders. He ran his fingers through it with confusion. What happened while he looked away? It hadn't been that long. Had it?
This face looked so familiar but he couldn't place his finger on it. He knew it somewhere, he knew it. But he wasn't sure what. He felt powerful now.
The lights flickered, distracting Joel from his reflection. He looked up, staring at them. He blinked the harsh light away, rubbing his eyes before looking back into the mirror.
He wasn't as surprised this time but it did still catch him off guard. His beard had somehow grown out, longer than it had been before. His eyes were more yellow now too. He stared into them, confused. His hair reached past his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his beard with a sigh.
It felt familiar and also not at the same time. He couldn't pinpoint where exactly he remembered the soft feeling from. All he knew was that it was now left in the past. He felt oddly weak yet powerful at the same time.
He felt like he could take down a God in one second but also felt like his confidence could shatter at any point. He moved his hands to hold onto the sink, clutching it for stability. He needed stability, he felt like he was spiraling.
Joel stared down into the sink, now focused on the dripping of the water rather than his face. He felt like he was going crazy. Drip, drip, drip went the water. He counted it until he felt like that was driving him mad. He looked back up into the mirror which only added more to that feeling.
His eyes were red. Bright red. It reminded him of terrible things but he tried to shrug it off. He leaned in, staring into his own eyes. His hair was even longer than it had been before, his beard too. The green streak had been replaced with red. Everything was red.
That was what pushed him closer to his breaking point. Why was it all red? He tried to ignore the whispering voices that began to creep into the back of his mind. He stared, wide eyed, holding onto the edge of the sink even tighter than he previously had. He needed the stability desperately, he felt like his knees would give out at any second.
The whispering turned into yelling. His sight was blurry, he couldn't focus. Why couldn't he focus? Why were they yelling at him? What did he do?
A noise outside the door grabbed his attention away. His whole body relaxed as the yelling slowly turned back into whispering before eventually leaving his mind to rest. He looked at where the noise had come from for a few seconds longer, waiting for another sound. There was nothing.
Joel hesitantly turned his head back around. He recognized this face. Barely. It has been a long time since he laid his eyes on it. Brown, soft, lively eyes. Shorter hair. This face was familiar enough to bring a smile to his face.
He reached a shaky hand up to cup his own face. This was nice. Nicest it had been since this whole ordeal had begun. It brought him back to older times. Perhaps at the beginning of this world. The times where they just had fun. When everyone were friends.
When everyone was happy. A lot of things have changed since then. He dropped his hand back to the counter, holding back tears. He shouldn't have thought of that. Times have changed and everyone else has too. They would never go back.
He barely missed it as he changed back. Back into the face that was all too familiar. A tired face. A person who looked like they had given up on it all. He sighed, wishing that everything would just go back.
He knew that it wouldn't happen. He knew that it never could and that it was a selfish thought but he just wished that it would. That everyone could be happy again. He'd do anything to get that.
As he stared into his eyes, he watched as they turned red again. He was confused but he didn't try to stop it. He didn't try to stop as the yelling voices invaded his mind again, yelling at him to do something. He didn't care anymore.
Joel woke up, unblinking and staring at the ceiling. He sat up and looked around, running his hands over his blanket. He needed to feel something in order to ground himself. He took deep breaths before sighing and getting out of his bed. He walked to the kitchen, stumbling every so often.
When he finally reached his destination he hummed. He crouched down near a random chest and opened it, grabbing out some food. He retrieved an apple, some bread and water? The last object confused him but he didn't pay much mind to it as he sat down on the floor.
Joel bit into the apple with a bit of concern as he realizes he tasted basically nothing. He frowned but shrugged it off again as he took a bite out of the bread. Once again with no taste. He washed it down with water then stood up. He placed the items on the counter.
He walked over to the couch and sat down, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against it. He hummed as Buddy jumped up onto the seat next to him before clambering over to his lap. Joel raised a hand, patting Buddy on the head and smiling as the cat began to purr.
Joel began to wonder what he had done yesterday. Nothing? Maybe? He can't remember. Ever since everything it felt like he was just in a cycle. Nightmare, wake up, eat, go outside, go to sleep and it just repeats. He rubbed his head with his palm, sighing again.
He hoped that everything would just go back to normal and he wished for it to happen soon.
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osachiyo Ā· 9 months ago
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okay i'm working on this again :)
bsd men catch you reading smut, anyone??
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nilo05 Ā· 23 days ago
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oh god he is moving
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zylphiacrowley Ā· 8 days ago
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Code Blood pt.2
<previous - next>
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fuzzybluefox Ā· 1 day ago
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All hail the mermaid witch!
All hail the heartbroken girl...
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...
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skrittkicking Ā· 8 months ago
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a little change of pace
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retros-artandstuff Ā· 6 months ago
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terererereziiii
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she is so spunky
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superhotbabess Ā· 10 months ago
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messing with coat details whatevur
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pocketscribbs Ā· 2 years ago
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so umm, i had an ideaā€¦
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and before you ask, yes. I do already have ideas on how her role fits into the story
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tearlessrain Ā· 9 months ago
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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing
#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident#I straight up forgot#and just didn't show up to the session#my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked#I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up#my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january#I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted#like mentally and spiritually#all the time#my memory and sense of time are both shit#my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me#I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir#and yet#idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason#fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly#due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me#aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory#it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever#like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype#but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here#doing whatever this is#maybe I should drive out to the coast#maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long#I mean it can't make me worse#I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark#everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone
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mortifying-macaroni Ā· 2 months ago
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Love how as soon as I start a new project, I IMMEDIATELY get an idea for another one...
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devotedlyuniquewizard Ā· 1 month ago
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iā€™m gonna throw up my body is revolting
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carlostck Ā· 4 months ago
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posted two pieces of art that I did today isn't that crazy
I'm going to never touch a pencil for a year
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Sketch of the Arbiter from Halo that I started today and will likely never finish šŸ’„šŸ’„
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pestilentbrood Ā· 2 years ago
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ok now this is epic
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