#motivation hard to find lately
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sxtystrs · 4 days ago
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then... how much pink will eventually mask the blue?
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hiddenbeks · 2 months ago
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tagged by @southernreaches thank you fray!!! 🫶
rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for their favorite!
tagging (if you wanna do this, no pressure!!)
@yahgrondu @yharnams @pawnguild @volkihar @nokstella
@gurathins @alexheart @pinkfey @gortash @merdruid
@qingyii @ehlnofaey @tarasahl @katsigian @vilnan
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12am-motivation · 1 year ago
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happy birthday, sol!!
this blog may as well be dead by now but i just wanted to say thank you everyone for giving me the best months of my life ^^
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cathalbravecog · 1 year ago
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i like it when ppl draw this freak with pants like that. woe. ms paint gwam be upon ye. mole if u see this, this is dedicated to u
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insipid-drivel · 1 month ago
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Friendship and relationships are hard, I'm lonely and can't be loved by anyone, so here's some hard realities and wisdom from someone who's going to die sad and alone inevitably:
Many of you have got to try to put some effort in nurturing your relationships with your friends, or at least more clearly negotiate what your friends can and can't expect from you in the long-term.
Seriously, this whole 0-contact-aside-from-reacting-through-each-other's notes and proclaiming you're ride-or-die about someone for it? Is literally killing me. I've actually been dealing with suicidality because of how impossible it is to stay in touch with, or even on good terms with, people I thought were my friends but ghosted me, and then acted bewildered when I was angry with them for it or didn't acknowledge them as my friend anymore. "You can't be mad at me for not answering your DMs for 7 years! We're friends! I still reblog your reblogs!"
I am absolutely allowed to be angry, and I absolutely can demote you in my mind from "person I thought was a friend" to "mutual that ignores me until they need a dopamine fix or an answer to a specific question".
Months or years of unprompted, unbroken silence is not friendship - acquaintenceship, sure, but not friendship. It's a bad friend that expects love and loyalty by default no matter how long they've been ghosting their friends.
Love and loyalty are like a garden: they require cultivating and a commitment to nurture and grow, or else it gradually withers, and eventually dies. Earning the love and loyalty of a friend and then abandoning the garden of that relationship is how you find yourself locked out of your former friend's garden, or find them lonely, miserable, and exhausted from trying to keep the garden thriving when they themselves have slowly been dying inside because you haven't come back to the garden in years.
You have to learn to reach out and nurture your relationships. If you're autistic or otherwise have problems socializing, there are still some skills that you need to learn to avoid being isolated and friendless at the end of the day. Being autistic with trouble socializing is not an excuse to treat people you call your friends or that you claim to love like hobbies you can leave and come back to whenever you feel like - I learned this the hard way as an autistic person with shit social skills.
You have to negotiate what a friend can expect from you if you're an Outside Cat Friend that only drops in when you have specific reasons to reach out. It can be heartbreaking being the friend left waiting for a reply or a text without knowing the friend you're waiting for is an Outside Cat Friend.
Unless you have already agreed with your friend(s) that it's okay to ghost each other for extensive periods, spontaneously dropping out of contact with someone you've convinced is a good friend to you is really shitty and makes you a shitty friend.
"But I don't have the energy to reach out." Tell them.
"I have a lot going on and don't have time to talk." FUCKING TELL THEM.
"I haven't had anything to talk about." THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
"I've been too anxious to reach out." SAY THAT. JUST SAY THAT.
"I need a break from social contact for a while, so I don't wanna talk at all really." SAY THAT BEFORE YOU JUST DROP OFF THE END OF THE EARTH.
I've been the Reaching-Out Friend for most of my life, and in the past 5-10 years especially, I haven't been finding a whole lot of strength left to keep tending abandoned gardens that are thriving in name only. I've gotten fed up with self-professed friends that say they love me or view me as a sibling, but ultimately prove themselves to be bystanders when it's my turn to need someone to lean on and help me look after the garden.
Yes, there are absolutely friends you can have that can go years without hearing from you and still pick up where you left off when you do meet up again. They're awesome and worth keeping just as much as any other friends are.
There are also those friends that silently grieve your absence, that reach out to no avail, and wind up leaving the garden to die entirely after salting the soil with their own tears. Those are the friends that you've taken too much from without giving enough of yourself in return, and you've used them up and thrown them away without realizing you've treated someone that cared about you like a tool.
"I'm not the kind of friend that reaches out first."
That's your choice. No matter how you dress it up, when you decide it's time to neglect a friend, you're choosing to neglect them if they aren't prepared for what to expect from a friendship with you. You have the right to do that whenever you want to, but you cannot expect a warm reception with every person you do it to every time you do it. You cannot anticipate full amnesty in advance without full disclosure in advance.
If you're currently thinking of someone you've left sitting on read for a long time right now? It might be time to break your pattern and reach out for once.
Fall together, not apart.
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doedipus · 7 months ago
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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cherry-bomb-ships · 4 months ago
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I'm at a point where I would absolutely love to Create Something and I have plenty of ideas but I am lacking entirely in motivation so I just play video games and feel like a loser when I go to bed
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dracimexidae · 2 months ago
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What better workout for my arms than working this beast of a thread right here 🥵
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void-of-unparalled-chaos · 2 months ago
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:/
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keeperthemultiversemom · 1 year ago
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How are you doing today?
"My, I am doing rather fine lately ! A fair amount of beings and viewers have been in need of comfort that I am more than happy to provide, but otherwise it has been pretty calm in my domaine; for some reasons things seemed to have settled down... Although I did hear that the Archives have become busier lately. I am glad, to be honnest."
*Keeper pauses, thinking*
"I think things might be 'moving' soon. If my experience is anything to learn from, great periods of calm always end with something big happening."
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jeremy-lemon · 1 year ago
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tbh I'm scared to go to college, the things I want to study take a v long time and intensive work that you Have to be v good at to get into the field lest u mess something up. I'm scared I'm gonna get frustrated or discouraged once and decide to give up cuz I have such a bad habit of that that I'm trying so hard to overcome.
I'm like fighting my brain on the daily to understand that taking a long time and having to put in a lot of effort to learn something isn't a bad thing even if it's hard to do especially since it's something I've wanted to study all my life. It's just tough when I have this constant nagging feeling in my brain about "you're too stupid and you always have been especially when it comes to school" but I'm so sick of thinking like that!!
My brain has kept me in this prison of feeling stupid so I don't do new things which also makes me feel stupid it sucks. I wanna try new things and commit to learning even when it gets tough! I really don't really to give up !! But I'm so scared I will !
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debbiechanclub · 9 months ago
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Sunday Six
Tagged by @elphantasmo :)
This is definitely more than six lines, but here's an snippet from the still in-progress Chris Brookes fic.
Happy birthday, darling. Drinks on me when I get back x
She’d been overthinking it all day. But rather than mention it to Torrance, she just continued searching her clothes with a muttered, “Maybe.”
“Oh, what about that?” Torrance abruptly pointed out a black satin bustier-style crop top with silver chain straps. “I don’t know Chris that well, but I know enough to know he’d like that.”
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sysig · 7 months ago
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What makes a villain a villain for you? Idk very broad question no wrong answers to it
I tend to conflate "villain" and "antagonist" - or at least antagonistic, if they're a main character like Charm is haha - someone who impedes others, who seeks to do harm, who is in some way uncontrollable and therefore dangerous. I also tend to like villains that have someone or something to rage against, very Megamind haha - "If there's bad, good will rise up against it."
Villains can be as complex or simplistic as you like, which is very fun! Some villains like to be evil for funsies! Some are tortured! Some don't realize that what they're doing is harmful! Yves is great example of a BBEG who has only good intentions imo (and coincidentally, is also modeled after my own ADHD lol, I have something of a soft spot for dysregulated villains haha)
One of my favourite aspects of the True Villainy AU, and kind of Just Desserts S2 as a whole, is how different types of villains look and move in that world - Charm was seduced by thoughts of revenge that stemmed from loneliness and bitterness, where Kaiein is a manipulative asshole who gets his kicks from causing chaos from the sidelines. Their motivations are very different, but they both do harm, and are both stopped! Villains ✨
#Villains have a lot of wiggle room for what makes them villains I think :)#And there's certainly more shades of grey to explore than the fairly black-and-white villains that I tend to like lol#Charm is pretty black and white - she's a villain until she isn't#It's still hard for her because she ''learned'' all these maladjusted behaviours to get through her life but she keeps trying!#Kaiein is very black and white - literally lol - he's a villain for funsies and has to be defeated rather than recovered#And Yves is quite black and white as well! He doesn't really consider the harm that he does until it's too late! And he still doesn't stop!#I think just about any antagonist Can be a villain depending on the framing - including those trying to stop my villains here#The JD Residents are villains for causing Charm mental anguish - that's why she seeks revenge in the first place!#And again they're the villains for taking away Kaiein's fun toy - you can tell I have little sympathy for him lol#The AGE crew are villains for trying to stop Yves from resurrecting his God and recreating the spiritual Cambrian explosion!#I think what makes a villain a villain is the harm they're willing to cause on the way to their goal#Anyone properly motivated can be twisted into the shape of a villain - what lengths are they willing to go to? Who are they willing to hurt#It's about finding the Hubristic Downfall and digging from there#Villains Are their characters flaws <3#I feel like I've mentioned it somewhere but I view Charm specifically as being endearingly flawed like a cat lol#Cats can have so many characters flaws that we would find unacceptable in humans but are charming - haha - in a cat#Charm is my self-love by way of cat-ifying my own character flaws <3 It's why I like villainsonas so much!!#They're little guys! Evil little guys <3 I think it's great :D#Just Desserts#Villainsona#AGE#Yves
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satuwn · 7 months ago
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Do you do commissions? I love your art! :3c
i do! just not at the moment as i havent been drawing as much in general, ive struggled with owed art recently bc of irl stuff and mental stuff sadly :[ so im focusing on drawing designs and for myself for now! i will probably announce it when i open comms again :3
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tikki-wikki · 2 years ago
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CLOUD WITH THE SICK UNDERCUT >:-]
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hyunestrella · 1 year ago
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i fear i’m going to stop writing 🫤
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