#motivation hard to find lately
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sxtystrs · 2 months ago
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then... how much pink will eventually mask the blue?
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ricky-mortis · 7 days ago
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Goofy little ACM doodle :)
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literalfuckingfreak · 2 months ago
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hey yall its been a second take some shitty drawings ill try not to disappear for 6 months again 😭
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hiddenbeks · 4 months ago
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tagged by @southernreaches thank you fray!!! 🫶
rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for their favorite!
tagging (if you wanna do this, no pressure!!)
@yahgrondu @yharnams @pawnguild @volkihar @nokstella
@gurathins @alexheart @pinkfey @gortash @merdruid
@qingyii @ehlnofaey @tarasahl @katsigian @vilnan
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12am-motivation · 1 year ago
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happy birthday, sol!!
this blog may as well be dead by now but i just wanted to say thank you everyone for giving me the best months of my life ^^
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cathalbravecog · 2 years ago
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i like it when ppl draw this freak with pants like that. woe. ms paint gwam be upon ye. mole if u see this, this is dedicated to u
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insipid-drivel · 4 months ago
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Friendship and relationships are hard, I'm lonely and can't be loved by anyone, so here's some hard realities and wisdom from someone who's going to die sad and alone inevitably:
Many of you have got to try to put some effort in nurturing your relationships with your friends, or at least more clearly negotiate what your friends can and can't expect from you in the long-term.
Seriously, this whole 0-contact-aside-from-reacting-through-each-other's notes and proclaiming you're ride-or-die about someone for it? Is literally killing me. I've actually been dealing with suicidality because of how impossible it is to stay in touch with, or even on good terms with, people I thought were my friends but ghosted me, and then acted bewildered when I was angry with them for it or didn't acknowledge them as my friend anymore. "You can't be mad at me for not answering your DMs for 7 years! We're friends! I still reblog your reblogs!"
I am absolutely allowed to be angry, and I absolutely can demote you in my mind from "person I thought was a friend" to "mutual that ignores me until they need a dopamine fix or an answer to a specific question".
Months or years of unprompted, unbroken silence is not friendship - acquaintenceship, sure, but not friendship. It's a bad friend that expects love and loyalty by default no matter how long they've been ghosting their friends.
Love and loyalty are like a garden: they require cultivating and a commitment to nurture and grow, or else it gradually withers, and eventually dies. Earning the love and loyalty of a friend and then abandoning the garden of that relationship is how you find yourself locked out of your former friend's garden, or find them lonely, miserable, and exhausted from trying to keep the garden thriving when they themselves have slowly been dying inside because you haven't come back to the garden in years.
You have to learn to reach out and nurture your relationships. If you're autistic or otherwise have problems socializing, there are still some skills that you need to learn to avoid being isolated and friendless at the end of the day. Being autistic with trouble socializing is not an excuse to treat people you call your friends or that you claim to love like hobbies you can leave and come back to whenever you feel like - I learned this the hard way as an autistic person with shit social skills.
You have to negotiate what a friend can expect from you if you're an Outside Cat Friend that only drops in when you have specific reasons to reach out. It can be heartbreaking being the friend left waiting for a reply or a text without knowing the friend you're waiting for is an Outside Cat Friend.
Unless you have already agreed with your friend(s) that it's okay to ghost each other for extensive periods, spontaneously dropping out of contact with someone you've convinced is a good friend to you is really shitty and makes you a shitty friend.
"But I don't have the energy to reach out." Tell them.
"I have a lot going on and don't have time to talk." FUCKING TELL THEM.
"I haven't had anything to talk about." THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR.
"I've been too anxious to reach out." SAY THAT. JUST SAY THAT.
"I need a break from social contact for a while, so I don't wanna talk at all really." SAY THAT BEFORE YOU JUST DROP OFF THE END OF THE EARTH.
I've been the Reaching-Out Friend for most of my life, and in the past 5-10 years especially, I haven't been finding a whole lot of strength left to keep tending abandoned gardens that are thriving in name only. I've gotten fed up with self-professed friends that say they love me or view me as a sibling, but ultimately prove themselves to be bystanders when it's my turn to need someone to lean on and help me look after the garden.
Yes, there are absolutely friends you can have that can go years without hearing from you and still pick up where you left off when you do meet up again. They're awesome and worth keeping just as much as any other friends are.
There are also those friends that silently grieve your absence, that reach out to no avail, and wind up leaving the garden to die entirely after salting the soil with their own tears. Those are the friends that you've taken too much from without giving enough of yourself in return, and you've used them up and thrown them away without realizing you've treated someone that cared about you like a tool.
"I'm not the kind of friend that reaches out first."
That's your choice. No matter how you dress it up, when you decide it's time to neglect a friend, you're choosing to neglect them if they aren't prepared for what to expect from a friendship with you. You have the right to do that whenever you want to, but you cannot expect a warm reception with every person you do it to every time you do it. You cannot anticipate full amnesty in advance without full disclosure in advance.
If you're currently thinking of someone you've left sitting on read for a long time right now? It might be time to break your pattern and reach out for once.
Fall together, not apart.
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doedipus · 9 months ago
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a large amount of time I've been spending on -untitled undefined scope original fiction project- since the last time I posted about it has been trying to develop the protagonist concept I came up with last summer or whatever into like, a character that would feel real and era appropriate.
it's fun research to do. naturally a lot of the details I assigned to her are things that I already think are cool, so it's been a lot of fun trying to trace her traits back through the relatively recent past, getting reminded of how much things have changed, or where the gaps in my intuition are, and then doing a flurry of reading to get a sense for exactly how someone like her and the people around her could have happened and what her life was probably like leading up to her present day. hopefully this results in some good good verisimilitude.
#I wrote a short story from her perspective over the holidays and then didn't know how to continue it#and then I got distracted by real life stuff for a few months#I forget if I posted about that#and then I've been picking through archive dot org for the last few weeks looking at this stuff#the last big rabbit hole was trying to get a better feel for era appropriate ts/tv subculture#the current one I'm looking at is how she would've gotten into language learning and how that would've worked#nettle has been prodding me about the setting thing lately so I've been thinking about that more too#probably the biggest hurdle by far is figuring out how I want to play that#and how I want the thing to be divided up#since the original coc scenario I'm developing this out of is centered on a flight from LA to honolulu#and the airport dungeon was definitely meant to be a hook for a larger campaign#some amount of it is going to cover protag lady's failed life in LA and some of it is going to be worse things happening in hawaii#but it's like. how much do I want to balance it one way or the other#and realistically how much does the aesthetics of 20th century air travel add to the story#besides me personally thinking it's compelling ofc#a lot of what I find compelling about hawaii is that it's an east/west cultural crossroads and realistically that's also true of socal#and I can wax poetic about socal as much as I want without worrying all that much about mishandling something#and there's also a lot of socal specific history along similar parallels to pull from that I'm more familiar with#I guess it comes down to whether curiosity re: 'doing it right' is enough of a motivator to do the increased amount of research#which I guess it has so far with the above character details. so hopefully that will continue#but it also feels like using machine translation a bit yknow. it's hard to know how effectively I'll be able to sanity check#although depending on where this goes I might be able to get other people involved to sensitivity read down the line#with most of the creative things I do I just have a tendency to always rely really heavily on figuring things out myself#I also want protag lady to have a Cool Car and idk how to get that from point a to point b narratively#this is like an entire second or third post's worth of tags but I don't feel like unfucking this so whatever. suffer. I guess.
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cherry-bomb-ships · 6 months ago
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I'm at a point where I would absolutely love to Create Something and I have plenty of ideas but I am lacking entirely in motivation so I just play video games and feel like a loser when I go to bed
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unnamedcrane · 8 days ago
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I may be kinda off the face of tumblr.... or any social media recently buuut look what i just got
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A very fairy mug~ ✨️⚘️🪻🌷
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luniviravosshipper · 12 days ago
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This blog would have thrived peak of season 5’s release
#im starting to think the fandom’s dying down again#I’m starting to see less posts lately and less ppl interacting in the fandom#but idk#anyways but I’ve just been contemplating lately how little I feel connected with other ppl in the fandom#Ik that sounds weird I don’t mean it to be lol#I just feel like it’s hard to find ppl with the same takes as me or into tdp for the same reasons#I feel like the number of viravos fans have depleted and particularly a huge portion of viren fans have disappeared entirely from tumblr#but like any time I find another viren fan and tdp critical person they always turn out to be huge dark magic defenders and I’m just not#if what I’m getting at is that the fandom already feels so small it’s hard to find the nicher sides of it yk#like I haven’t come across a single person who actually understands typology and is a fan of tdp and that sucks for me#I’m such an introvert that I can’t handle being on social media for too long without feeling drained socially#that I’ve just been storing up my own thoughts and feelings on the show in my own little bubble that I haven’t seen anyone else share#but I just don’t have the energy to be the one to start sharing#I’ve been working on a video essay on tdp for awhile and I’ve always wanted to be a commentary youtuber since forever#I didn’t think that despite knowing exactly what to say and how to edit and whatever I still wouldn’t feel as up to finishing it#it’s not about motivation I just feel weirdly isolated in the fandom like anytime I complain about viren’s arc I’m yelling into a void#I’m not worried about having different takes or feelings and I’m not willing to compromise them just cuz they’re unpopular#I think a lot of ppl assumed that under my lack of understanding of rayllum rant post#I’m worried about not actually having a fandom to share those takes or feelings with
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nomstellations · 1 month ago
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Hello!! Happy birthday!!!
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Also wanted to tell you that thank you for all the vore content you produce and also just being just being genuine cool person! Thank you for all that you do :D
Thank you anon!! I had a great day yesterday and today I'm hoping to hang out with the server...I'm happy you like my stuff so much 💙✨
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dracimexidae · 4 months ago
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What better workout for my arms than working this beast of a thread right here 🥵
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void-of-unparalled-chaos · 4 months ago
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:/
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keeperthemultiversemom · 1 year ago
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How are you doing today?
"My, I am doing rather fine lately ! A fair amount of beings and viewers have been in need of comfort that I am more than happy to provide, but otherwise it has been pretty calm in my domaine; for some reasons things seemed to have settled down... Although I did hear that the Archives have become busier lately. I am glad, to be honnest."
*Keeper pauses, thinking*
"I think things might be 'moving' soon. If my experience is anything to learn from, great periods of calm always end with something big happening."
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jeremy-lemon · 1 year ago
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tbh I'm scared to go to college, the things I want to study take a v long time and intensive work that you Have to be v good at to get into the field lest u mess something up. I'm scared I'm gonna get frustrated or discouraged once and decide to give up cuz I have such a bad habit of that that I'm trying so hard to overcome.
I'm like fighting my brain on the daily to understand that taking a long time and having to put in a lot of effort to learn something isn't a bad thing even if it's hard to do especially since it's something I've wanted to study all my life. It's just tough when I have this constant nagging feeling in my brain about "you're too stupid and you always have been especially when it comes to school" but I'm so sick of thinking like that!!
My brain has kept me in this prison of feeling stupid so I don't do new things which also makes me feel stupid it sucks. I wanna try new things and commit to learning even when it gets tough! I really don't really to give up !! But I'm so scared I will !
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