#motherfucker punched a guy 6 times and broke his own hand because the guy was hitting on my sister

[gaybox]

any interest i have in being in relationships and dating and whatever is being sapped away from my sister and the men she picks like i cannot believe

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere RE8: TRP Part 4

Part 1 is here.

Part 2 is here.

Part 3 is here.

Part 5 is here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

"Uhh... hello?"

You looked at the woman standing in the stairs. She was wearing a dark veil that matched the rest of her outfit- oh shit, that's a funeral outfit.

I really did pick a bad time to come here, didn't I? She's in mourning, she sees an intruder, and her day went from bad to worst. Yep, she's gonna kill me.

You took one look at the woman and then at all the possible exits: the doors- no, they'd be too heavy to move and what if they're locked? The window- but I'd have to jump out and just because it looks cool in movies to jump through glass, doesn't mean it'll work, Y/n.

So, the only option was to eliminate the threat. Or maybe... defuse it.

"This is your doll, right?" You asked, pointing at the doll, judging by the lace designs on both of their dresses. The woman didn't reply. "It looks like its been... used a lot. To be honest, she's very different than most dolls I've seen, definitely a lot more spookier." You nervously giggled, hoping she didn't mind. "But... she looks like she's been loved. A lot. Despite being broken from a lot of places, someone still took their time to fix her." You smiled sadly, remembering your own doll that Mia had ripped. "Wish I had someone like that. To sew up the wounds and fix them."You mumbled, not really sure if you were talking about your doll or yourself.

"Your doll, she's- she's very pretty. My sister would've liked her." You began. "Which is why I'm here. My family, we were in an accident- I know it was wrong of me to come here without permission, but I need to find my sister, Rose and my father, Ethan." You took a step closer. "They both of have blonde hair. Rose, my sister, she's just 6 months old. She was dressed in a baby pink onesie, bundled up in a blanket. My father, Ethan, he's about this tall and has big blue eyes. I think he was wearing a jacket, with blue denim jeans. H-have you seen them?" You asked, eyes full of hope and voice laced with eagerness.

Please, please let her have seen them. God, please.

Unsurprisingly, the woman didn't reply, but she did turn her head towards the left window. You didn't know whether she was telling you to get out of her house or signalling that they are out there, but you knew you had to leave.

Nodding, you slowly walked towards the window, your heart beating faster as you prayed that this wasn't some sort of trap, hoping she wouldn't attack you from behind because that would be like... really shitty.

But you left the house unharmed, and without looking back at the window because you didn't want to jinx it, you walked towards the forrest once again, thankful that the sun had finally came out.

Where are you guys?

You had been walking for a couple of hours now, the sun had been a bit warmer today, which was good since you hated the snow that surrounded you now. You looked at the map, tracing the path to your new destination. The Salvatore reservoir. It seemed like it would take you a day's journey to get there, and you sure as hell weren't seeing any lake in sight.

God, when will this nightmare end?

You decided to sit on a stone and take some much needed rest. Your feet ached from all the walking, and your calves were cramping. You rolled your head, popping it from the side, before taking off the rifle that had been weighing down, stretching out your arms. Digging through the little back pack you bought from Duke, you pulled out a thermos of coffee and twinkie. You don't know how or where he got it, but Duke had filled your bag with a couple of snacks; saying its for his loyal customer.

So, here you sat, in the middle of the snowy woods, eating a twinkie and drinking a lukewarm coffee. Both didn't taste good, but they're gonna keep you alive so, no complaining.

After drinking the coffee, you rested your head against a tree, recalling last nights events as you waited for the caffeine to kick in.

You tried to make sense of what happened when you got... locked in the basement. You thought you had forgotten about her, Angel. Guess not.

Wait- didn't that lady lock me in the basement? Maybe, she didn't look very hostile, her creepy doll looked scarier than she did.

You laughed at the irony. You always made fun of the horror movies where the family would become so attached to the most horrifying doll, and you'd scream at their stupidity, And yet here you were, falling for the cliche as you found comfort in that creepy doll.

Man, I'm really losing it here.

You sighed, closing your eyes as you tried to come up with the next plan. But the warm coffee had lulled you right to sleep, which was dangerous but you were too tired to care.

Just for a couple of minutes...

You woke up to the sound of growling and heavy steps. And as soon as you opened your eyes, you knew you had definitely slept for far longer than a few minutes. But that was not of concern at the moment. No, it was the source of the growling that had woken you up.

Just about 40 feet away from you were lycans. Plural. Not one, not two, but 5 lycans, and one of them was a really big one.

You held your breath as you watched them wander around; they hadn't spotted you yet, and if you stayed quiet, you hoped they would just go away.

Stilling yourself as much as you could, you watched them with wide eyes. One of them started to walk in your direction, it wasn't looking at you, which meant that it hadn't seen you, but he would if he kept on walking this way.

God, I know we haven't been on good terms, but like c'mon, you gotta give me a break. Please, I love you? Come on, you know this is not how I want to go.

You sent a silent prayer, and perhaps it worked, since the lycan suddenly turned the other way, joining its pack as they started walking deeper into the woods.

Slowly, you began to gather up your things, silently shoving them in your bag, one eye on the lycans and the other one making sure that you don't accidentally drop something that'd cause noise.

Fortunately, you didn't. You swung the bag over your shoulder, and took a step forward, careful not to step on any twigs.

Maybe God did love me. All that time in church-

THWACK!

You jumped back as a huge sheet of snow fell from the trees in front of you. You whipped your head towards the monsters and they all had stopped dead in their tracks. Slowly, one of them turned and if they hadn't heard the snow fall, they'd definitely heard the way your heart was about to burst out of your chest. Then, it growled.

Motherfucker.

You pulled out your gun just as the two of them began running your way. With a quick jump to the side, you dodged them and shot them two times each. Hearing your gun fire, the other two began running your way too, while the larger one stayed behind as it watched. This time, as you shot one of them, the other managed to kick you in the chest hard, throwing you against the rock. Luckily, you didn't hit your head, as you rolled and shot it dead.

Spitting out the blood, you looked back at the last lycan who had already started running your way. You began loading up your gun with trembling hands, but just as you aimed, the lycan took a giant leap and knocked the gun out of your hand.

Fuck.

The giant grabbed you by your neck, lifting you up high before throwing you across the ground. You wheezed, scrambling up to your feet as you began running away from it, its heavy steps following you. It roared angrily behind you, and that only made you ignore the burning pain in your chest as you ran faster.

But of course, God had decided to make you live a cliche horror movie, because you tripped over a fucking branch, making you fall on your stomach. You flipped over instantly, and saw your nightmare come true as the lycan jumped on you.

On pure reflex, you punched it square in the face, which you doubted hurt it more than it hurt you, if anything, the monster was momentarily perplexed, but that was enough for you to slip from under it.

But you were only able to take a few steps away when it suddenly grabbed you by your neck and lifted you up again, snarling as it began opening its mouth, revealing its razor-sharp teeth at you.

God, if you're hearing this, I'm converting to atheism because I did not need this today.

Looking at the horrifying lycan, you prayed one last time before you were eaten by it. Surprisingly, your life did not flash before your eyes, which you were kinda grateful for because you did not need to relive that before your death.

But that moment didn't came. No, what came were familiar moans of pain, and then the sound of a drill, followed by blood splattering on your face as the lycan was sliced vertically from the head to the toe by the aforementioned drill.

The lycan fell to the ground, revealing the pair of soldats that killed them and behind them a smirking Heisenberg, who rested against a tree, tipping his hat at you.

You were far too shocked to say anything, and after a few seconds, the man walked over to you, blocking the view of his monstrous creations just mutilating the lycans.

"So... that was a bit traumatising." He started, chuckling at your stunned face. "You okay, kid?"

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck-

"Yeah." You took his hand, and he helped you up. You groaned at the pain, touching the tender side around the chest where the lycan had hit you. Yeah, you probably broke a rib.

Heisenberg helped you sit down on a tree stump. "Hmm, that bastard kicked you hard didn't it." Wait- "But that was a phenomenal punch you threw at it. Nearly made me burst out laughing."

"You were watching? Why the fuck didn't you come in before!"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to see if you could really handle yourself- which you were pretty good at, but then you lost your gun and it was kinda an unfair match from there on." He pulled out some pills from his coat. "i was just passing by when I saw those lycans moving away. Thats when I pushed the tree which made snow sheet fall and you know the rest from there on."

Your eyes went wide. "You did that on purpose? What the shit, Heisenberg-?! Fuck." You doubled over in pain, clutching your ribs, heaving.

"Shh, stay still, kid. Here, take these. They'll help with the pain." You eyed the bottle before popping two in your mouth. Hey, if he wanted me dead, he wouldn't have saved me from the lycan. "I just wanted to see if you were worth the trouble, and as it turns out, you are."

"You didn't have to almost kill me to see that. And now I've lost my gun. And I don't have any money to buy a new one. I doubt Duke gives freebies." You huffed out.

Heisenberg rolled his eyes. "God, you sure do whine a lot. Here-" He dropped a tiny pouch in your lap. "There's some coins in there. That should be enough to buy you a new gun. And for fucks sake, get a gun with more rounds! You don't have time to be loading a gun mid battle." He huffed. "So, where are you going now?"

You rolled your head from side to side. "Well, I went to the Beneviento house. Didn't find Ethan or Rose there. Now, I'm going to the lake."

"The lake? Huh, well if you survived Donna, then Moreau should be a piece of cake. You got the map? Let me show you the short cut, it's not far from here." You gave him the map and he showed you the directions.

"Where are you going then?"

"Mother Miranda called. Don't worry, I'll keep our meeting a secret." He then nodded at you. "Alright, I'm off now."

"Wait!" Your voice stopped him. "I don't know when I'll see Duke again. And I don't have gun, so what if another pack of lycans come?"

Heisenberg slumped his shoulders as he let out an annoyed sigh. "Fine. I gotta do everything by myself." He dog whistled and one of the soldats stopped maiming the lycan and ran to Heisenberg. "From now on, you're gonna listen to her."The soldat looked at you and nodded. "If she tells you to kill, you kill. If she tells you to die, you die. Follow her around and keep her safe." The soldat nodded. Then Heisenberg turned to you. "He's already dead, so don't worry about throwing him in danger. Oh and also, just take him into the sun every once in a while so that his engine can recharge. You'll know when he needs the sun."

You were baffled. "Wait, Heisenberg- how the- what the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Figure it out, kid. Think of him as a guard dog."

You looked at the soldat then at Heisenberg's retreating form, then back at the soldat.

"So..." The soldat stared at you. "You got a name?"

"Handsome." You nodded to yourself as you trudged, using the soldat's arm to support yourself. "That's what I'm gonna call you. Handsome. What do you think?"

The soldat was wearing a metal contraption over its eyes, so you couldn't really tell what it was feeling.

"Well, you don't seem to have any complaints, so from now on, you'll respond to the name "Handsome". Do you understand?"

The soldat nodded.

You laughed. God, the pain meds were either making me stupid or everything else funnier.

You looked at the map again. Just a couple of more minutes and then a right turn. And then you should see the lake- god, this map was confusing as hell.

"So..." you wondered what you should ask the cyborg. Oh right. "You seen Ethan? Blonde man, crazy big eyes. Or a baby, Rose?" The man shook his head no.

Sigh. What else could I ask him? What about how did he die? No, what if that's triggering? I can't handle a Terminator right now. And I don't think I should ask him about his past or anything that'll cause him to have a existential crisis. Ah! I've got it!

"Hey, how do you see?"

The soldat looks down at you for a few seconds then points at his metal contraption.

Wait- is that sarcasm?

You scoff. "Of course, you see with your eyes! I meant, with the whole metal thingy covering them, how do you- oh, there's this vision specs in them."

You smiled. "Hey, you're kinda like Cyclops, yknow-" you were cut off as Handsome suddenly pushed you to the ground, turning on his drill.

"Wait, shit- you don't have to be Cyclops! We can talk this out-" but Handsome was focusing on something else, and that's when you saw it. Two lycans.

Handsome ran and easily maimed them to pieces, I mean, you had to look away from the horrific scene midway.

The soldat returned five minutes later, covered in blood. He extended his hand and you reluctantly took it, letting him support you as you began walking again, your heart still beating like crazy.

But you calmed down when you finally reached the lake, the setting sun gave serene feel to the entire reservoir. You inhaled deeply before looking at Handsome. "Lets go down there." You pointed at the lake.

You were both sitting at the wooden broadwalk, your legs hanging off the ledge. You looked at the water, it wasn't crystal clear, but you could see some fishes swimming around, so at least it wasn't dangerous to life. You looked at Handsome, then at his drill and you realised he was still covered in blood. "Lets get you cleaned up, hm?" You said, pulling out a rag from your bag and dipping it in the cold water below. You began with cleaning up his drill, then dipping the rag back in cold water and cleaning his chest and his other arm.

"Good job back there, Handsome."You smiled as Handsome nodded. "Heisenberg was right, you are kinda like a dog. Hmm, I wonder if..." You tested your theory as you petted him on the head. "Good job, Handsome!" But the soldat only tilted its head in confusion.

"Hmm, perhaps not." You cupped the cold water in your hands and washed your own face, You looked at your reflection in the water. "You wanna go for a swim? I don't mind." Handsome shook his head. "Yeah, I'm not a fan of swimming either."

Handsome stared at you. You scoffed. "Oh so you pretend you don't understand what I say, but you want to hear the story? Fine, but I'm only telling you because it might be important later."

You both stared at the water as you began your story. "Well, when I was 15, I had snuck out of the house to go to a party. It was at this rich girl's house and I knew she didn't like me, but I was surprised when she had invited me to her place. Yes, a red flag I should've seen from miles ago, but I was young and dumb and desperate to climb the highschool social hierarchy." You chuckled. "Anyways, long story short, one of the guys there pushed me into the pool because I don't know if they thought it was funny to see me drown? By some luck, I managed to grab onto the pool ledge and pull myself up. I immediately left the party, embarrassed and cold and on the verge of breaking down. Then on the way back home, there was this car following me and then some weirdo catcalled me and tried to get me in his car. Now, scared for my life because I watched a lot of Criminal Minds, I ran all the way home, praying that he leaves me alone. I think he stopped when he saw a Range Rover following him, but I don't know. I just rushed back home." You sighed. "You know what happened next? I bursted through the front door, slamming it shut and I turn around to see my dad in the living room, looking surprised to see me. He stood up and looked me up and down and then said, "Y/n? You're drenched completely. And you're messing up the floor. You know what? Mia's in the bathroom right now, why don't you go upstairs and I'll clean up here. You know how she gets when there's water on the wood." And I was just so shocked, that I didn't say anything and went back upstairs. Once I was in the shower, that's when I broke down crying. I almost drowned, almost got kidnapped and my father was worried about me messing up the wooden floor? Hell, he didn't even ask me why I was coming home at midnight." Your tears fell into the lake, making small ripples. You chuckled, "God, I always wondered how tired he must've been from work that day to ignore all these visible signs of distress. I always hated his job, you know? They made him work way too much." You looked at Handsome who was looking at the lake. "Anywho, now you know I can't swim so, save me if I fall into this lake, okay?" He nodded.

You guys sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before a question popped up in your mind. "Handsome?" He turned his head towards you, only to see a mischievous smile on your face. "Are you seeing someone?" The man turned his back to the lake, making you laugh. "Ahh, so you like someone. Tell me, is it someone from the village?" The man further turned his head away from you in embarrassment. "Oh come on, tell me! Is it a girl?" He nodded reluctantly, making you punch his arm. "You dog! Does she know?" Handsome shook his head, making you smile. "Tell you what? As a payback for saving me back there, I'll help you get her. I'll be your wingman, Handsome, hm?" He nodded a bit enthusiastically.

"We all deserve good things, Handsome. No matter how we look, or what we are, these things don't really define one's self worth. Its our intentions, you know?" Handsome didn't know, but he nodded anyways.

"Good. Now, lets go check out this place. Keep an eye out for Ethan and Rose, okay?" You told him, not knowing someone was already watching the two of you.

So... thought?

What did you guys think about Handsome? I'm gonna post a pic of him soon if you guys want.

Part 5 is here.

[cm-top-10]

C.M. Top 10: Most Dark & Gore Scenes &/or Characters in Cartoon Series

Warning: The following top ten may contain possible spoilers for those who haven't seen newer series. This post may also contain forms of graphic violence & some gore scenes that maybe too much for you to witness. So for your safety & others do not look unless it's at your own risk.

You've been warned...

We all discover at some point in time that not everything you know is allover the rainbow. Most times we see things we can't unsee or learn dark secrets of someone you thought you knew your whole life. & sometimes we learn things the hard way. Or the messed up dark way...

So for this 1st dark Top 10 features the most characters with a dark histories, secrets or just straight up dark/gore scenes. Which character did you not expect to have a dark side? Sadly you be the judge...

1. Invincible - Omni Man beating his son to a pulp.

After learning the dark truth that was revealed to Mark about his father's true intentions. Nolan tells his son the truth about why he was sent to Earth & why he killed the Guardians.

Telling him the reasons why he's here was so he could eliminate any potential threat to the Viltrum Empire. & that he was raising his son not out of responsibility or heroics, but to have him as a bred soldier of the Empire to kill anyone who stood in their way.

& he wanted Mark to join their cause with him.

After Mark angrily refused to help him conquer the planet. Nolan nearly beats the life out of his own son & yells to the top of his lungs saying how pointless it is to protect his home world. While killing millions of innocent people in the process of their brutal fight.

However before he could finish him off, Nolan suddenly realized what he did to his own child & fled the Earth in machspeed, shedding a tear.

They say fatherhood is complicated, but not like this...

2. Castlevania Lords of Shadow - Gabriel's dark fate

While on his journey to slay all three of the Lords of Shadow. Gabriel slowly learned they were the founders of the Order & told him the truth of his order's true intention from each Shadow Lord who too were being used by the Brotherhood of Light. Then when he finally reached the final Lord of Shadow, he learned about his wife's death & fell into dark despair.

Over time his heart grew darkened. & knew nothing but bitterness & sorrow...

But after defeating the three Lords, Laura appears to tell Gabriel that he awakened another ancient evil known as the Forgotten One. Who had plans to destroy all creation & they had to venture to the Brotherhood's fortress to find the entrance to where he was imprisoned.

However only dark begins can enter the realm. & the only way he can bypass it's effects & to defeat this ancient evil, was to become one himself...

So Laura asked him to drink her blood & free her of her torment. Hesitant at first he did what was asked of her & dranked every last drop of her blood, until she died.

He then defeated the Forgotten One & saved mankind. But at a cost of his soul & happiness.

Thus becoming a vampire.

A vampire the world would soon know & fear as Dracul the Dragon.

But that is another story...

3. Baki the Grappler - Yujiro Hanma

As most know Yujiro is the world's most unstoppable & cruelest warrior in the history of fighters. Not even the U.S. Military dares to go near him. Yes Yujiro the Orge has struck fear into many people, even military personnel of different countries. & he did it with no weapons & has turned the U.S. into his personal playground for death & battles.

But the most cruelest thing he's done was ripping the face of one of China's most respected Kaioh masters while facing him in battle, testing his worthiness. The reason Yujiro did this challenge was not to prove his worth but to show all of China & their leaders that they are worthless to him. & showed them all that he doesn't care about their hatred towards Japan noir their worthiness.

& he struck that fear into all who witnessed Ryu Kaioh getting defaced & brutally defeated. Yes this is one man who's definitely going to hell & is going to smile about it.

Because Satan himself would be pissing his buttflap in his sights in fear. While Yujiro fucks his succubus wife in front of his face knowing how little fucks he gives about his "sins."

4. Primal - Sauropod Massacre

After being infected by the Zombie Virus. The infected sauropod becomes a mad rouge & slaughters it's own herd in a bloody rage & massacre.

It left no survivors, ripped them apart & destroyed many of the herds' eggs leaving nothing remaining...

Truly whatever zombie virus this was it drove this poor creature mad & didn't stop until everything wasn't breathing.

Luckily Spear & Fang were able to run it into a dormant volcano. Where the infected dinosaur burnt to ash.

Hopefully now the poor beast is at peace...

5. Star Wars Rebels - Master Luminara's remains

In the search for Luminara to replace Kanan to be Ezra's new master. They soon learned too late that her remains were being used to lure any surviving Jedi out of hiding. So that any Sith Hunters like the Grand Inquisitor would slay them on the spot.

Sadly no one knows whatever happened to her corpse after they escaped. Or if the Empire even still has her.

Rest in peace Luminara wherever you are...

6. Legend of Tarzan - Death of Clayton

While battling in the trees, Tarzan defeated Clayton by tangling him into the jungle vines. But during his blind rage he angrily swiped vine after vine, until one wrapped his neck. Tarzan tried his best to warn him, but in his rage Claton cuts the vine that he was holding on to.

Then after it broke they both plummet to the ground. Tarzan landed safely, Clayton however was hung from above by one of the vines wrapped around his neck after it snapped it straight out from the fall.

There truly are things worse than fate...

7. RWBY - the Death of Adam Taurus

After weeks of stalking Blake & her group. Blake had no choice but to confront Adam for the last time with the help of Yang. The battle was harsh, but in the end they managed to out-think him by stabbing him from different sides. One in his chest & one in the back.

He then fell to his death over a huge waterfall after hitting his head over a ledge before plummeting into the water. Hopefully they've finally seen the last of Adam Taurus.

But let's also hope he doesn't pull a Cinder...

8. TFP Beast Hunters - Predaking beats the scrap out of Ratchet

After using Ratchet to wipe out mankind. The Decepticons threw him into the frails of a vengeful Predaking. Predaking then beats & claws Ratchet, throwing him around like a rag-doll. Until he was ready to finish him off, luckily Ratchet convinced him to hear him out. & told Predaking the truth about what had happened to his Predacon army.

After he told Predaking that it was Megatron who ordered his race's extermination. He asks why he did so & Ratchet replys--

Ratchet: Being on the receiving end of your might. One theory springs to mind, Megatron fears you & any like you.

In his blind rage Predaking stormed his way to Megatron, wiping out anyone who stood in his way.

Which led to his own demise, but that is a story for another time...

9. JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - Stealy Joe gets his ass beat by Jotaro

Now this slimy bastard got what he deserves. Not only did he try to humiliate & blackmail Jotaro into doing his bidding. This cocky motherfucker goes & threatens a random little girl out of the blue. If Jotaro didn't face him like a man & does what he says.

With him up to here with the man's assholeness, our boi Jotaro decided enough is enough & beats the ever loving shit out of this guy. & after punching him multiple times, he literally sends him flying into a wall & throws him his receipt.

Rest in Hell, Joe you worthless bastard!

10. The Falcon Captain America & The Winter Soldier - Captain America U.S. Agent gets his arm broken.

John Walker the former Captain America was given a mantle he wasn't worthy of. Don't get me wrong as much as I had my doubts of him, I was willing to give him a benefit of a doubt. That is until he soiled Steve's good name by using his shield to kill a man in cold blood.

During his blind rage of vengeance, he chased down one of the Flag Smashers & constantly beats him over-&-over with the shield. & then kills him with a fatal blow to the chest area in front of tons of people.

After he murdered one of the perps, Falcon & Bucky tried to ask him to hand over the shield peacefully...

You can take a wild guess what Walker's answer was. He then attacked them with rage & ego, losing his shit. However that ego died as soon as Falcon & Buck breaks his arm to get the shield back. He was then discharged by the U.S. government & was relieved of his duties as Captain America.

Not only that but he then found his way into a dark path he may not be able to uncross.

But that part is another story for another time.

Either way he got dealt some shitty karma.

[queenofthefallenangels]

Think Twice Part 1

"I am going to make sure you never even think of touching my girl ever again. I am going to make sure you wish you never even met her."

Loosely based on the song “Think Twice” By Eve 6. 

Seth Rollins x OC x Jon Moxley

Rated: M 

Warning: some abusive themes, violence, drinking 

Tag Team: @sithstatlander @xladyxfatex @writtingrose ​

If anyone else wants to be added to the tag permant or for this story ask is open.  

As Always ENJOY

-----

~

Aria's POv~

“You don’t think this is too soon, do you?” I asked Alexa as we sat in the lunchroom break room together.

Alexa shrugged as she pushed a fork into her salad. “I mean, it wouldn’t hurt. It doesn’t have to be anything serious. It could just be you two ending up being friends. Besides, you need something to cheer you up and get you out. You have been depressed this whole time. It worries me honestly. You know that leads you right back to him.”

I sighed. She was right. Whenever I felt lonely, it was easy to back to him. I couldn’t help it. I was in love with him. He just wasn’t good for me.

~flashback a few weeks ago~

I was minding my own business, watching Netflix like any other night after work. Seth was working late on the books. It was pretty normal. I would have never expected what was going to happen next.

Seth came storming into the house. The door slammed so hard the pictures on the wall shook. I had no idea what had gotten into this time, but it wasn't good. I was too scared to even get up and ask. Not like it would have mattered because his long legs aided him to get to the living room fast. He threw his phone on the coffee table. "Is there something you want to tell me, Aria?"

I looked up at him confused. I could see the anger fueling in his eyes. The normal soft, caramel orbs were dark and harsh. It almost scared me. Anger like this I had seen before, but normally I had an idea what it was about. I moved towards the edge of the couch looking down at the phone. It was a screenshot of  text messages. My text messages. "How did you get these?" I asked him. They were from my Instagram. It was a completely harmless dm. To Seth, it was more. Seth had a huge jealousy problem. He didn't like me talking to other guys thought he was always talking to other girls.

"Why does it matter how I got them? Keep going I got more screenshots."

I swiped to the side looking at more. My heart sunk. I knew I should have deleted those ones. "Seth, this one isn't what you think."

"You told Alexa, you had a plan to leave me. That I was too overbearing. Too hypocritical. I can go on." He said as he paced infront of me.

"Well, don't you think going through my texts kind of proves that. You don't trust me."

Seth groaned. "I used to, but it’s hard to with all these pictures you post on social media."

I stood up at this. "Me? Me?! Show me one picture on your page where you wear a shirt that doesn't promote the gym or is of us which by the way barely exists!"

"Why do you keep turning this around on me?!" He yelled getting closer to my face. "We are talking about you."

I held my ground getting right up in his face. "Because you do the exact same thing. Let’s go through your dms. I bet I can find tons of flirty ones of you and Becky." I still had his phone in my hands. I took it and started walking towards the bedroom. He quickly ran behind me as he yanked me back, but he wasn't fast enough. I had already seen enough. "You...you…"  I couldn't get the words of my mouth as tears began to fill. The texts were beyond what I thought they were. They were dirty with pictures included. I almost couldn't believe my eyes. I was so mad, I slammed his phone against the wall. It broke into pieces against it. Seth stood there with his mouth open. He closed it glaring at me.

"What the fuck was that for!" He yelled his grip tight on me.

"You know what that was for," I said pushing him off me. I pushed him hard again making him fall back. "You motherfucker! You always make me look like a fool! Trying to pin cheating on me when looking at what you are doing! Sending your dick again. I forgave you last time, but you go and do it all again! How do you think this makes me feel!"

"You aren't any better!"

"Am I? I never ever sent someone else pictures of my naked body parts."

"We were sending pictures of our results." He said rolling his eyes. I hated it when he did this. He acted like everything I said was the stupidest thing.

"Really? I didn’t know you were working out your penis with her.” I said the sarcasm dripping as I spoke. I turned from him heading into the bedroom to grab my bag. I had one secretly stashed in case something like this happened. I hated being prepared, but with how Seth and I have always been, I couldn’t help it. This wasn’t the first time I caught him cheating and it wasn’t the first time I took him back thinking he would change. He doesn’t. I am no perfect angel in this relationship, but at least I try to make things right. He tries for a while. He makes me feel like things could be different this time, but every time, every single fucking time, I am wrong.

As soon as I come out with the bag, his eyes widened. “So you do have a bag. I thought you were just saying shit for Alexa to get off your back, but you actually have a bag.” He shook his head. “You aren’t actually going to leave.” He stated, trying to call my bluff. I wasn’t bluffing though I walked passed him hitting my arm against his shoulder. He shook his head grabbing me back. “You aren’t fucking going anywhere.”

I pulled my arm back, but his grip was too tight. “Who says? You aren’t the boss of me.”

“I say so.” He said as he pushed me against the wall. “I fucking love you, Aria.”

“Well, you got a funny way of showing it!” I screamed at him.

“God damn it,” He said punching the wall in anger. The drywall cracked under the pressure, dust hitting me. I screamed in shock as his hand went through it. He pulled his hand back as he started to realize what had just happened himself. “Aria, I am-”

I held my hand up before I pushed him off once more before I grabbed my bag and left for Alexa’s.

----

I hadn’t spoken to him since. He had tried to, of course, get in contact with me. He sent over a million apology texts and flowers. Becky had even come to apologize to me. I forgave her. I really didn’t hold any ill will towards her. She had said he told her we had broken up and were just living together until I found a place to stay. She would have never if she had known the truth. I couldn’t hold her against her if I tried. She was just caught in his web. If he really wanted to be with me, he would have told her the truth.

“Maybe you are right.” I finally spoke as I pulled myself from my thoughts. “I need some fun regardless of what happens.”

Alexa smiled at me. “That’s the spirit. Now, come to my house at seven and we will get you all ready.” She said before getting up.

----

I felt like the week sped by. Which was good because my nerves about this date were crazy, but also bad because I was still really nervous about the whole ordeal. It had been years since the last time I had tried to go out on a date and that was with Seth. I was sure that was going to be the last time that ever happened. Did I even want to try again just to go through it all again? Alexa was right though. Just go and have fun. What could it hurt just to go get to know somebody? It couldn't hurt right. 

I was in the car sitting outside the bar we were supposed to meet at. Trying to calm my nerves. Alexa did her best to psych me up, but I could still feel the nerves pool deep down. I slowly got out of the car. I had to hold my dress down. It was so tight. Alexa had given me a small black dress that hugged every inch of my curves. I pulled my leather jacket closer to me as I felt eyes fall on me. I could tell guys were staring. I shook it off finding a seat. I pulled out my phone looking at the time. I was a bit early so I had time to try and use some alcohol to relax. I ordered a rum and coke. 

"That is not all that I would have expected from a girl like you." The man in the seat nearby said when he heard my order. 

I wanted to ignore him, but I couldn't help but glance where the voice had come from. I should have known a deep husky voice like that belonged to a strong-looking man. His shoulders were wide and you could see his muscles from underneath his tight leather jacket. He was fit. I could tell he worked out. No man could look like that without it. His piercing blue eyes watched me as I moved to face him. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?" 

"You look like sex on the beach type of girl?" He said as he took a drink of what looked to be whiskey. 

I rolled my eyes, “Looks can be deceiving.” 

He raised an eyebrow, “Really? Well, why don’t you tell me, why a pretty girl like you is doing at a bar by herself on a Friday night?” He gave me a quick look up and down. “If you must know, I am waiting for a date. What are you doing here all by yourself?” I asked, crossing my arms. 

“Waiting for your date to be over with,” He chuckled as he put a drink down. 

“What do you mean?” I was taken aback by this response. I figured he was waiting for a date or a few friends.

"I guess you will have to wait since I think your date is here." He said gesturing as Kevin walked through the door. I had only spoken to Kevin a handful of times. He worked with Alexa and I, but he worked in a different department. I saw him for parties and other things. Alexa knew him better than I did and knew he had just gotten out of the relationship himself so maybe it would be good for us to get out. I think Alexa was just trying her hand at matchmaker. 

He smiled as he walked towards me, “Hey, Aria, sorry I am a bit late. Traffic sometimes can be hard to get around.”

I smiled back at him, “It’s fine. I understand, How about we get a table?” I said as we walked towards the table. I could still feel that man’s eyes on me. I wasn’t sure what to think of him. His whole waiting thing was probably some dumb cheesy pick up line, but yet as my date went on, every time I looked over towards him. His eyes were still there. I wasn’t sure if Kevin was aware of it. He didn’t show it if he was.

 The talk of the date mostly revolved around work and getting to know each other a bit better. He was a really nice guy, but I knew I wasn’t attracted to him in the slightest. It wasn’t that he was ugly or anything. He was a bit bigger built, but he was still fit in a way. He was a decent guy all around and it could have maybe worked out, at least for a second date, if it wasn’t for the man that was sitting across the way  watching us. He was hiding it quite well too. If I wasn’t watching him back, I would have never noticed. He talked to other girls, but it never lasted long. He talked to people about the game on the tv. 

Kevin excused himself to the bathroom when he took this chance to turn around and face me.. A smile was on his face. “So, are you enjoying the show?” I asked him 

“Greatly.” He said as he took a drink. He had switched to a beer. He must have been trying to sober up a bit. “I am also glad it’s almost over.” 

“How do you know that?” 

He shrugged, “I just know things.” 

“How about you let me know something?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “What’s your name?” 

“Jon, and you?” 

“Aria,” Kevin said from behind me. I bit my lip. I had no idea how this looked. Maybe it looked like an innocent conversation. I hope it did. “Can you come here?” Kevin asked. I nodded as I got up from the spot. 

“I am so-” Kevin held up his hand. 

“Let’s face it, Aria, we have zero chemistry. We both just agreed to do this for Alexa. How about we just end this night? You can go talk to him. I don’t want to hold you back. I know Alexa will kill me for leaving you alone, so if he turns out to be creepy just call.” I nodded smiling. 

I wrapped my arms around to hug him. He hugged back. 

“I am sorry it didn’t work out.” 

He shrugged. “Maybe, its for the better.” He said as he let go. I gave him a quick peck of the cheek before returning to speak to Jon more. 

--No POV-- 

Kevin sighed as he walked back towards his car. He kind of should have known Aria would have no interest in him. He honestly couldn’t blame her for wanting someone else. The date wasn’t the greatest. He still wasn’t over his ex either, so there was no way it could go good.. The whole date he just wished it was her instead of Aria. He was kind of glad that she found someone to take interest in so the night wouldn’t be a total failure. He remember Alexa mentioning that she was worried, she would run back to Seth and Seth was no good for her. Alexa really wanted to show her that there was more out there and she could find better. Hopefully that guy could help more than he did. 

 He walked towards his car hitting the button to find it in the parking garage. All of a sudden, a van with blacked out windows pulled up next to Kevin with two men coming out. They jumped on him almost immediately. Kevin tried his best to defend himself from the blows, but he was out number. He wasn't prepared to fight, but he would be damned if they got him. He had been a fighter before giving it up for a normal life. He was rusty but he knew he could take them. As a rush of adrenaline pushed through him, he was able to take out the two men. 

He heard clapping from behind him turning around to see one of his old foes, Seth freakin Rollins. "Well, looks like you still got it in you, Kev, after all these years." 

"What do you want, Seth? I told you, I wasn't coming back." 

"Why? The whole reason you stopped left you." Seth pointed out as he grabbed for something in the back of the car. "That isn't why I am here. I am here, because of your little date with my girl." He said as he held a steel bat in his hands. Kevin tried not to let this scare him. He was just trying to scare him. 

Kevin looked at him confused, "Both her and Alexa said she was single." He knew somewhat of their relationship. Not enough to think this would happen.  

Seth didn't respond to this statement. "I got a question though. Was she not good enough for you to at least walk her to her car? Make sure she got there okay? There are a lot of creepers out there. It would be a shame if something happened to her.”

Kevin scoffed. “You wouldn’t hurt her besides I didn’t leave her by herself. She met a guy she seemed to like at the bar.” Seth’s eyes widened. He pulled the steel pipe back and smacked Kevin hard in the stomach. “What the fuck?!” He yelled as he fell to his knees.

“You just left her with some guy! Who knows what kind of scum you could have left her with.” 

Kevin groaned, “She seemed to like him. He didn’t look like a bad guy. I mean she dated a guy who hits people with pipes. What could be worse?” Seth hit him again this time in the arm. 

“Akam! Rezar!” He yelled at the two men. They stood up and grabbed Kevin standing him up so he couldn’t move as Seth gave another blow to his stomach. “Now what did this man look like?” 

“Fuck,” Kevin groaned in pain. “He was just a guy with reddish brown short hair and a beard. He looked like any ordinary bar guy. I heard him tell her his name was Jon. He didn’t say a last name.” 

“Get him out of my sight.” Seth growled as he handed the pipe to Rezar. 

“Wait, no what?!” Kevin screamed as the men took him into the van. Seth walked off pulling out his phone. He dialed the number fast. “Murphy! Send me a picture of the guy Aria is talking to in that bar. He hung up the phone. It wasn’t long before the picture appeared on his screen. Seth could feel anger burn inside him as he looked at the image. He tightened his fist as he looked to the sky. “Ambrose.”

[liliesoftherain]

My Hero Academia Main 3 Boys x Reader

Ch.9 Accidental Backstory?

Ch.1 Ch.2 Ch.3 Ch.4 Ch.5 Ch.6 Ch.7 Ch.8

Another chapter out! This will be my last post for a bit, finals week is next week so after that then I’ll get back to it but for now, I need to focus on passing chemistry ;-;  But more to come soon no worries! Enjoy!

TAGLIST:  @rizamendoza808 !(: @iris-suoh !(: @quicksilverfangirl​ !(: @shortperson202 !(: @noodlenerd101 !(: @matchamidoriya​ !(: @thorsbtch-captainnoobmaster69me​ !(:

“We’ve reached the halfway point but it’s still anybody’s game! Class 1-B has made an unexpected showing, but can they keep it? And who will win the 10 million points in the end!?”

Your team glared at the offenders who had the audacity to not only steal your headband, but also piss off the hot head of the group. You assumed the rider knew of Bakugou’s explosive nature and was trying to use it to his advantage. What he didn’t realize was it wasn’t a smart idea to anger Bakugou, it was going to be their end.

“Quit provoking him Monama,” one of the students muttered,” we don’t want to stoop to their level.”

“I guess you’re right,” The Monama kid sighed,”It’s not very heroic of me. Besides, you know how these things work. Heroes are always being surrounded by villains with nasty intentions and desperate attempts of some kind of revenge.” His smirk widened. 

You felt your eyebrow twitch. This guy was talking about nasty intentions when he’s the one trying to get under your guys’ skin? He hated your class and he was using that as fuel, if that wasn’t some type of weird payback/revenge, you didn’t know what was.

“You have no right to call us out for the same bullshit you punks are doing!” You spat back before you could stop yourself,” You’re acting on some petty-ass hatred for our class, doesn’t that make you villainous as well?”

“My my,” Monama glared at you,” what a dirty mouth on this one. You should really muzzle your dog, Bakugou.”

Bakugou felt any patience he had snap at that very moment, his eyes burning with rage as his body began to shake. He saw red and then let out a yell in frustration.

You were annoyed at this ugly boy calling you a dog, but before you could respond Bakugou’s aggressive scream sliced through the air, effectively shutting you up before you even began. 

“Bakugou man calm down, he’s trying to say crap to rile you up! Don’t fall for his trick otherwise we can’t get our points back if you aren’t thinking straight.” Kirishima grunted, even though he was pretty pissed himself at this guy for calling you out.

“SHUT UP! Isn’t it obvious? I’ve never been calmer. Lets fucking go after them already!” Bakugou yelled back.

“Whatever you say..!”

With that your group took off, sprinting after the other team while they only stood still. You were confused as to why they weren’t moving, but you had no time to express your concerns as another on of Bakugou’s shouts filled the air,

“You think you’re tough, huh? You think you can talk shit and get away with it?! Well I got news for you, DIEE!” 

A loud explosion ripped through the air, but Monama dodged last second and brought a hand up to Bakugou’s face and set off an explosion of his own back at him. You gasped loudly, and your team managed to get some distance between the other, not before Monama was able to slap Kirishima’s head. You looked up at Bakugou and saw scorch marks on his cheek, and you glared at the smug boy across the way from you. 

Bakugou’s teeth grit in frustration, his cheek stinging from the damage taken. He was pissed, how did this guy have such a similar quirk? Nearly the same as his own, it was ridiculous. 

In an attempt to get the boy back, you brought your right arm up and shot a beam of light. Making sure it was hot enough to leave a mark, but not too hot that it'd really hurt the kid. You just wanted him to get a taste of his own medicine. However, Monama simply brought an arm up and it hardened, your light unable to do any damage. 

“You both have impressive quirks for sure, but I think you’ll agree when I say mine is better.” Monama said smugly.

“What? My quirk too?” You heard Kirishima say in surprise.

“You bastard, so you can copy others quirks huh?” Bakugou deduced with a frown set firm on his face.

“Wow you figured it out, congrats, I guess even idiots can understand some things can’t they?”

The team was ready to charge at Monama when you were all cut off by a wall of sludge.  You glanced to your right and saw another team creating the substance. You assumed they were classmates and they were looking out for each other. You sent another ray of heat towards the new team, as the guy wielding the sludge quirk quickly used it to protect himself and effectively stopping his attack on you guys. 

They left shortly after, telling Monama to watch out while they did. The boy in question only smirked at your team, causing tension to rise higher.

“ONLY 3 MINUETS LEFT!”

“I can’t move! I’m stuck!” Kirishima panicked. He was trying to remove his foot from the gunk of that one boys quirk, but it hardened on him and he was utterly stuck. You put a hand out and used the heat from your light to break through the substance. 

“Stand still Eijiro, I’ll melt it away!”

Once he was free, you guys charged again, heading straight towards at Monama as his team had started to walk away from you. Bakugou’s patience was running thin so he jumped off of your support and blasted away, shouting the whole way.

“You losers get back here!”

“He really has got to start letting us know when he’s going to do that.” Sero sighed.

You knew it was going to be pointless for him to charge again the same way and expect a different result. You were sure all he needed was a touch and he could copy your quirk, after all he did smack Eijiro. But who’s to say what the actual mechanics of it is? Does he need to touch Bakugou again to use his quirk, or does he have them all set like a speed dial and can change quirks in the blink of an eye? 

Best thing to do was try to give Bakugou the upper hand by making it to wear Monama was off guard and unable to use Bakugou’s quirk against him. Making sure he had his eyes on the hot head flying towards him, you sent a blast through the air. Making it change to a solid when it collided with Monamas unsuspecting chest, allowing the boy to be thrown back. His teammates being the only thing to keep him from falling off while Monama grabbed his chest in shock and pain.

One member of his group yelled out his name as Bakugou quickly approached, and since Monama was winded, the student used his quirk and trapped Bakugou in a giant bubble. He was pounding on the thing as he floated in midair inside of it, the student snickering at the sight.

“Ha, you look pretty stupid fighting with air.”

“Well it seems we’re okay for now,” Monama thanked his own teammate before throwing a heated glare at you,” you’re going to pay for that-”

“Oh yea?” You smirked, not showing any fear. You weren’t scared of this brat. ”Bring it on you chump. You thought I was all bark and no bite eh? Maybe I do need some type of muzzle or restraint because if not, you best believe I’ll kick your ass.”

“No, you need a muzzle because you’re a filthy animal in every sense of the word. You think you’re better than us, but you’re scum just like your boyfriend and the rest of your class. You’re the reason the female dog has it’s nickname you bitch-” The sound of glass breaking cut Monama off.

Bakugou broke free of the prison he was trapped in and punched Monama across the face before grabbing most of the headbands around his neck. Thinking quickly, Sero shot out his tape and caught him right before he hit the ground, yanking him up and bringing him back to your group. His landing this time was much smoother than the first as he quickly settled on your guys’ arms.

Bakugou was absolutely livid. How dare that background character trap him in a stupid bubble and make him look weak in front of everyone. How fucking dare that droopy eyed asshole call you a bitch when he was the only bitch he saw here. And worst of all, how dare those motherfuckers still have one headband left. He wanted them to go down, no headbands, zero-points-you’re-out down.

“You should really warn us before you jump dammit.” Sero grunts out.

“Shut up.” Bakugou barked back, not in the mood.

“It’s alright, at least we’re advancing now!” Kirishima yelled out excitedly. 

“No!” Bakugou growled, starting to smack Kirishima’s head,”We’re not done yet! We’re going to make sure those assholes have nothing left, we’ll fucking obliterate them. Then we’re going to be the indisputable champions of the game.”

“I wasn’t able to brace myself when I jumped,” He continued, you and Sero gave each other a look as he was still smacking the other boy’s head. Said boy taking no care. “Let's get our points back, then take down Deku and get his 10 million.”

“Right! Let’s go!” You all agreed, his words firing everyone up.

“Elbow guy, tape them! Get the back!” Bakugou lifts his left leg, giving Sero the opportunity to shoot, blocking the other team’s right side.

“My name is Sero dammit!” 

“Glow worm! Can you trap them there!?” Bakugou lifted his right leg for you to do the exact same thing.

“Don’t you doubt me Bakugou!” You yelled, sending off a large blast that was bigger than the others you’ve used.

 It was larger than your normal beams but still pretty small, reaching just under your hips. You made sure to keep the heat up as you manipulated the light to warp on their left side and behind, creating a barrier. You all rushed forward, faster than before. The heat you created caused Monama and co to stagger back, and get caught in Sero’s tape. The were unable to move out of the way as you all rushed up on them.

Bakugou raises a fist as the guy who originally trapped him was creating another bubble, this time to act as a shield. In one punch Bakugou effectively smashed through it, easier than the first one. You saw the other groups eyes widen as Baugou kept his fist outstretched and made a grab for the last headband. 

“Woah did you see that folks, Bakugou is a force to be reckoned with! We also saw some impressive moves from his group members, like Sero from class 1-A, and of course our little miss Hakamata! WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT WITH ONLY 30 SECONDS OF THE MATCH LEFT!”

You dropped your small heat barrier, and you all skidded away from Monama and towards the giant ice slabs. Once close enough, Bakugou sent off an explosion hot enough to melt the ice and wide enough for you all to run through. Once inside, Bakugou jumps off of the group and uses his quirk to help him lunge towards the two other clashing teams, lead by Todoroki and Izuku.

“Who’s got the points!?”Bakugou yelled as he looked back and forth between the two points, seeing Midoriya going after Todoroki he knew. 

“DAMMIT ICYHOOOT!”You held your breath, waiting for Bakugou to snatch the points.

“TIMES UP!” 

But alas, things never went the way you wanted them to. Bakugou belly flopped onto the ground as Present Mic announced the end of the match. You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled out of your lips at the sight of the hot head face-first on the ground. 

“SHUT UP, WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY!?” He turned his head and snarled, obviously not as amused as you were. 

Sero and Kirishima joined in with their own laughs and Bakugou felt a vein pop as he moved his face back towards the dirt and screamed.

“Let’s take a look at our top 4 teams shall we? In the number one spot, we have team Todoroki! Second place is none other than team Bakugou! As for third, our team is-oh wow, team Shinso! That’s a shock! Finally, last but not least, in fourth our last team is, TEAM MIDORIYA!” The crowd went wild. 

“Man we were so close to first.” Kirishima sighed.

“Yeah sure, but we’re continuing so it doesn’t matter.” Sero shrugged.

“I don’t think our fearless leader agrees with you there.” You giggle while watching Bakugou as he slammed his fist on the ground throwing a fit.

“He’s like a rabid animal.” Sero muttered.

“You okay Bakugou?” You asked. He kept his face planted in the dirt, ignoring you.

“Now let's take an hour break for lunch before we start the next activities! Hey EraserHead, let’s grab some food!”

“I just wanna nap.”

You walk over to Bakugou and poke him with your foot.

“Are you coming with us or are you going to lay there all day.”

“Fuck off.” Bakugou got up and glared at you, before walking away on his own.

You shrugged at the other boys, walking with them to the entrance before catching sight of Izuku and his team. The poor boy was crying his eyes out, and that made you want to laugh. He was a total baby, just like Bakugou. They were pretty similar in various ways, but all different at the same time, it was weird.

“You guys go on ahead and I’ll catch you later!” You told your two teammates, and they nodded back in agreement before making their way out of the stadium.

Walking over to Izuku’s group, it wasn’t hard to miss the giant tears that fell from his eyes. You placed a hand on his shoulder and your heart squeezed at his big watery green eyes that looked into yours at the action.

“You guys did amazing! I’m glad you were able to find a great team Izuku.” 

“Thank you (y/n)! It means so much!” He started to cry even harder at your praise. 

He was just so happy that he made it, so happy you made it, he was just so happy. More tears started to fall, practically sending him into the ground. You sighed before grabbing onto his hand, trying to lift him from the ground. Everyone was walking away to the lunchroom and you wanted to make sure you both got a spot.

“C’mon Deku let’s go get some lunch! I’m starving!”

He agreed and you both walked towards the entrance, but were stopped by someone suddenly before you got the chance to reach it. You had to stop yourself from running into their chest, looking up in confusion.

“Todoroki?” 

He didn’t answer you, choosing to stare coldly at Izuku, and you felt some protect-izuku-at-all-costs instinct kick in, you tsked and crossed your arms. 

“I just need to talk to Midoriya.” You looked at the boy in question, and while he had looked a bit nervous, he seemed just as confused as you were.

“O-kay?” He finally tore his gaze away to look you in the eyes. You felt your heart thump and blamed it on the icy gaze he held.

“Now. Alone.” 

“Yeah whatever, thanks for asking politely.” You grumbled out.

Looking at Izuku to make sure he was okay to be left alone. He just nodded politely and you smiled at him. Smile turning down as you walked away, passing by Todoroki, shoulders brushing as you did. Well, more like your shoulder and his bicep, what’s it with these boys being so tall?

“I’ll see you later Deku.” 

Todoroki didn’t let your attitude bother him, he knew you were still wary of him for calling you out and he didn’t blame you. While he held no ill will, this was something he had to speak about alone to Midoriya. He already said his two-cents to you, and he hoped you’d understand. This wasn’t a fight he wanted with you, only with Midoriya

You guess Bakugou was right to call him IcyHot, but not just for his quirk. His mood really did flip on a dime, and while you thought Bakugou was an arrogant jerk, Todoroki beat him by a mile. You felt angry, but at the same time you didn’t. You saw something else in him when you two talked, even if it was only for a second. You didn’t want to feel this was about him, but it always seemed like no matter what good deed he ended up doing, the blunt and nasty attitude washed it all away. You hoped that he could maybe one day it could be different, that he could be a friend. As of right now, you didn’t think you could call him that. No matter what you both went through during the U.S.J, or even the shared understanding of being a child of a top 10 hero. 

You will admit, while you didn’t realize Todoroki was Endeavor’s son at first, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Especially after the training with AllMight, that quirk couldn’t have been mistaken. You glanced back, seeing them both walk towards a different entrance. While doing so you ended up locking eyes with Todoroki for a split second before turning away. You huffed, feathers ruffled and belly empty. You just wanted some food, and you needed some water in your system.

Making your way through the corridor, you were about to walk outside in the direction of the lunch hall when a was hand pulling you back. You yelped and quickly spun around, bringing your fist up your fist to counter attack. 

“Hey knock it off or I won’t let you come.” 

“Bakugou?” Said boy was holding your fist in an attempt to stop you from punching him. You muttered a sorry before letting your hand fall to your side, and cocked your head at him in a questioning gaze.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think? I want to know why the hell that damn IcyHot finds Deku more of a threat than me. So I’m going to listen to what he has to say. You in or not glitter bomb.”

You bit your lip, looking into his ruby red eyes. While you wanted to know what was happening, because you were curious, another part of you knew it was wrong. Plus you were hungry, tired, and thirsty. You just wanted to sit down.

Bakugou was getting annoyed at how long you were taking to answer, and he really did not like the way you zoned out while staring at him, biting you lip like that. No not one bit, what the hell was your problem.

“Oi glow worm I’ll leave you fucking here I don’t have all damn da-”

“Yeah shut up lets go!”

You both snuck around to one end of a hall, stopping before it opened up when you heard Izuku’s nervous voice echoed off the walls.

“So you brought me here, now what?”

 You held your breath, afraid to even breathe at the idea of being caught. Your heart was thumping in worry, you wanted to make sure Izuku was okay. 

“We should probably eat soon, the cafeteria is going to be busy! Don’t you think?” Izuku spoke out once more after not getting a response. 

The tension was killing him, it was different when he was with Kaachan, at least he was more open about his feelings that way, and he had some idea on how to deal with the explosive attitude. He’s never dealt with silent intimidation before. Oh what he wouldn’t give to be sitting down and eating with you, he wanted to know all about how your fight with down, and he wanted you to be interested in his too!

“I was overwhelmed,” Todoroki’s voice broke him from his thoughts, “and that made me break the promise I made to myself a long time ago.”

You looked at Bakugou questioningly and he just shrugged in response, eyebrows drawn together.

“None of our team members felt it, but I did. I was the only one in that moment who could sense your true power. It reminded me of AllMight, and when we experienced his quirk first hand.”

“Oh yeah? Um, okay, is that all?”

“I’m trying to say, your power feels just like AllMight’s. Midoriya, tell me. Are you really AllMight’s secret love child. ”

You had to slap a hand over your mouth to keep from laughing out loud. Bakugou glanced down at you with a disgusted expression as your shoulders shook with silent laughter. He motioned for you to be quiet, but you can hardly contain yourself. Just the thought of Izuku and AllMight being father and son-

Your movement stopped as you allow yourself to think about it; they were always together, they did have some similarities in their quirks, and Izuku really did look up to AllMight. Was it really that far fetched? Quirks didn’t have to 100% resemble your parents, it’s not like you had your dad’s exact quirk after all. The only thing you and your dad did have that was similar was you could manipulate properties. His was clothing while yours was light particles. Your quirk was a mix of both your parents, who’s to say that’s not the case for Deku?

“No no way! That’s not it at all I swear! But I guess if I said I wasn’t you would think I was saying that to protect my identity and therefore not believe me anyways so I guess it really doesn’t matter if I say yes or no because if I said yes well then why would I be lying about that, and if I said no then you would always be suspicious and doubting so I guess there really isn’t a good way to tell you it’s not true because-”

“Midoriya.”

“Ah, r-right, anyways you’ve got the wrong idea. Why would you even think that.”

“You wouldn’t be the only offspring of a Pro Hero in this class if that were the case. My father is the hero Endeavor, you’ve must’ve heard about the number 2 Hero.”

You gulped, would he bring you up? Or would he respect any privacy you had?

“And then there’s Hakamata.”

Of course he wouldn’t. You felt Bakugou’s stare on you but you kept your gaze at the wall in front of you, not looking at him. 

“Wait, (y/n)? What does she have to do with anything?” Izuku demanded. 

He may have been frightened, but he didn’t like that Todoroki was bringing you into something that had nothing to do with you. He felt some confidence flood his system as he narrowed his eyes at Todoroki. 

“I don’t know what your issue is with me but I can handle it, you don’t need to be dragging her into anything! She’s a good person and you can’t-”

“Don’t you get it?” Todoroki sighed, growing annoyed by his rambling. Why was he making such a big about you anyways? It was pretty exasperating. “Hakamata is the daughter of the number 4 Hero Best Jeanist. While she may be a concern in the future, I don’t have a grievance with her at the moment. But if you were connected to the number 1 hero in any way, that just means I have even more of a reason to beat you.”

Izuku felt his eyes go wide. You were the daughter of the number 4 Pro Hero? That was so cool! But then he realized the full weight of Todorokis’ words and frowned.

“What do you-”

“My old man is ambitious and he aims for the top, but he’s never been able to best AllMight. The Symbol of Peace is living proof of his failure. He’s still going, trying to take down AllMight. One way or another.”

“Todoroki, I don’t understand. Why are you telling me all this, what are you telling me?”

“Have you ever heard of quirk marriages?” 

Your blood ran cold and you felt your hands shake as you balled them into fists by yourself. He was the result of a quirk marriage too? Your head started to ache and you just wanted to be anywhere but here. It was bringing up some memories of your own that you really didn’t want to deal with. You heard Todorki’s voice break through your own metal breakdown.

“People trying to find potential mates solely with the intention of creating powerful children. Like old-fashioned arranged marriages. My father was a man who had many accomplishments and money to throw around, so he bought my mother from her family and used her quirk. Now he’s raising me to usurp AllMight.”

Izuku’s gasped.

“I refuse to be a tool for the scumbag that did that to my mother. I only ever remember her crying. She called my left side unbearable before she poured boiling water on my face... I picked a fight with you to show my old man what I was capable of doing, without having to rely on his damn quirk, and that I can take first place without using it.”

You felt Bakugou tense next to you, and you did as well. It was a terrible burden to place on a child, and you felt anger towards his father. You knew he was a terrible man, but this? How sickening. You heard their footsteps fade away and you shared a grim look with Bakugou. Your mind flashed with images from your childhood and you closed your eyes. 

With heavy limbs you walked away, not even bothering to wait for Bakugou. Your past wasn’t something you needed to be thinking of at the moment, so you just needed to act like nothing happened. You shouldn’t have gone with him and listened in on those two. You knew it was a bad idea, curse your nosy nature.

[angel-emmerson]

Rage | Self - Para

violence and domestic violence mention tw, 

brief racism and homophobia mention tw 

Ángel was 6 the first time he understood that his anger could get him attention. He was so used to being pushed aside, used to being forgotten about that when a bully on the playground pushed him over and his rage surged enough for him to fight back, it was the first time all the adults around actually took an interest. Granted it was mostly to scold him but they were at least paying attention, they saw him, labeled him a problem child but at least there was a label to hold onto. It was his biggest concern when he met Jan and Dawn Emmerson, that they might not be able to love such an angry boy but they could and they did. They helped him become a happier boy, a loved boy. 

Still that rage never settled. 

At 13, he learned that sports were a good way to handle the rage, to put it all into pushing other people down on the field on his way to the goal, to learn about how to protect his teammates so that they could win. In this way he learned that his rage could be productive, specific and used in a way that didn’t create worse consequences. But off the field that rage never quite settled, it led to slammed doors and loud music blasting from his room, it led to sneaking out and showing up back home with a black eye or bruised lip, always looking for a fight and always finding someone who wasn’t afraid to give it to him. 

At 15, his rage almost ruined his life, when an opposing team member shouted a racial slur at him and a homophobic one at his mothers and he was sure that he would kill the guy, sure that if his teammates hadn’t interfered that he might. A threat of charges being pressed, a threat of a juvenile detention center and instead he found himself sitting in a group of people almost twice his age openly talking about how anger had taken over their lives. 

The meetings persisted and he was able to find a balance, able to understand that the anger didn’t have to define him. He didn’t want it to, he wasn’t a mean person, he loved the people around him, his family and friends, his boys, his community. But when the anger started it seemed to be never ending, like a grenade; no one could stop him. But college was a time for reinvention, a time for forgiving his past, forgiving his biological parents, a new chapter, a new him.

At 20 he learned how damaging it could be when that rage was turned against him, when his girlfriend got so angry she threw a glass bottle at his back, the glass shattering and cutting at his skin, the slap to his face afterwards shaking him to his core, making him feel like that six year old on the playground again, making him realize once again that he was not the only one with anger. He could still remember that night, the way she had so quickly apologized, the way she told him she’d never do that to him again but he knew better, he knew that once that rage was there it would never disappear and it was what he said to himself as he packed his things and left, spending the night on his RA’s futon, wondering when he had become a person so willing to accept such a twisted version of love. 

So he pushed himself to get better, pushed himself to be the best at his sport, pushed himself to take things less seriously, to focus on himself, to pull away from the serious and commit to not attaching himself, commit to being a man of the people. It was why he ended up turning down his pro offers to go home, why he turned down his boyfriend when he asked him to move away because he was terrified of what it would do, terrified that if he wasn’t near his family the rage would take over and swallow him whole, that he’d go back to being a boy that everyone could ignore. 

So at 21 he started again, returning home with nothing but good stories and love, with an appreciation for the life he had, with a gratitude for the people who would always lift him up, who would always remind him of why happiness was so beautiful to hold onto, why he had to work hard to keep that rage away, why it would never be worth it to let it go. Therapy, a steady job, a house and two dogs, no partner but enough of a romantic life that he never had to feel too alone, at least it was what he told his mom’s when they asked. It wasn’t that he didn’t get close to people, he just failed to feel that trust, failed to be able to look them in the eyes and believe that they wouldn’t hurt him. So he focused on all the things that wouldn’t hurt and even in the lowest moments he was able to keep pushing, able to find a way to let the little bits of rage peek through without causing much disruption. 

But at 32 he stood in front of his biological father, their eyes meeting for the first time in his life and the rage broke free, snapped and ripped through him. He felt it in the punches he swung, felt it when his biological brother tried to tackle him down, felt it when they slammed him against the police cruiser, felt it as he pressed his back against the cold concrete of the cell. It had taken over and he knew in that moment that it would take absolutely everything for it to go away. He felt it as he sat there waiting for his parents to get him out, feeling like he had never run far enough away from that kid on the playground, that he would always be the problem child, no matter how much he laughed or dance or joked, it would never change that he was broken, never change that he had been given up for a reason. That he had been abandoned so carelessly. 

Now, at 33, he sat in the same building Quinn had his meetings in, his hands wrapped around a shitty cup off coffee as he mostly stared at the ground, ashamed, tired, wishing he had just stayed in that cell and been sent away forever. A selfish thought, a pathetic one but he had been so sure he was over everything, so sure that he had grown and in one moment, he had seen the same fear in his mother’s eyes, seen the way people looked at him as the party ended and he had become the thing he feared, become the type of man that people looked at and found a reason to be afraid. 

When the group turned to him to see if he wanted to share, he took a deep breath, running a hand over his face as he gathered himself. “For the past..5, 10 years I felt like..I felt like I had things under control, you know? Like I had my routine and there was always shit that was unexpected but nothing crazy, you know? Like...like everything was something I could handle, even if it happened to someone I loved, we could handle it. But lately I-I feel like I have no control, you know? No certainty and I thought it would be exciting but it’s scary and I just get..angry,” he sighed out, “So fucking angry and it..terrifies me. Like, like I look in the mirror and I’m like who is this motherfucker staring back at me? I mean I thought I knew myself, I’m so fucking..in tune with myself but I can’t stop being so sad, it’s like..it’s like I get these moments of feeling fine and pushing through and as soon as my feet settle, as soon as I’m reading to breathe another fucking wave crashes in and reminds me I ain’t shit. Just a little fucking useless dude who after 30 years can’t stop being fucking angry. And it’s like, all the meetings, all the therapy and yet I don’t...I don’t feel like I’m being strong, I feel weak as shit and it’s like all the anger I feel feeds on that and there’s no turning back.” He sighed and pressed his hand to his face, “You just..ever get tired of being a person? Like...fuck, man.” 

He ended it there and sat back, managing a slight smile as someone next to him reached out to give his shoulder a squeeze and people around him nodded in affirmation. It was always a comfort to know he wasn’t alone but it never made it easier once he walked out of those doors and had to face the consequences for his actions. He listened through everyone else, actually listened, forced himself to engage and make space for other people’s pain, hoping to level out his own. He lingered around afterwards, caught up with some old friends, made some new ones, put some numbers in his phone with he promise to reach out, especially in the lowest moments. 

He walked outside, his heart still feeling heavy, the rage no longer lingering underneath but fully spread throughout, waiting for a chance to jump, waiting for any moment. But for now he could breath and so he did the one thing he always did when he felt lost, when he felt like he had no fight in him left. 

He went to see his moms. 

[mitchmarnier]

L.A Devotee

pairing: eddie kaspbrak/richie tozier [reddie] word count: 1,952 chapter count: 6 of 10 summary: child actor Richie Tozier was raised in The Industry, he knows how to play the game. He knows exactly how to keep his head down, and make his way through the famous life without attracting any extra drama. Until his management branch takes an up incoming band under their wing, and enlist Richie to publicly date the lead singer, and that all falls to shit warnings: mentions of notsfw, LOTS OF SWEARING, lots of abuse of power, abuse from a parent, some real FUCKED UP privacy issues. 

read on ao3.

Audra walked to Richie sitting at the kitchen table, dropped her phone down and slid it across the table. It had been two weeks since the news of Richie’s cheating- with some sort of blond starlet skank, and Richie had barely left his apartment. He was more than a little experienced in the Hollywood times, and he knew that the best thing to do is to simply let everything blow over. Not give paps anything  “Is this another article about me?”

“No. Not you.” Audra said glumly, taking the seat across from her best friend. Richie frowned and picked up the device, groaning at the sight of large headline.

NEW ALTERNATIVE BAND ALREADY ON THE ROCKS? HERE’S THE SCOOP ON EDDIE KASPBRAK AND BAND MATES FALLING OUT. 

“That’s not good.” Richie said, putting the phone back down and pushing it back to Audra. “Do you know what the Mother from Hell is going to do about it?”

Audra shook her head, clicking her phone screen off. “No. But this article is pretty bad. Makes Eddie look like a serious piece of shit. All of the work that they put into making you look like some dirt bag in your relationship with Eddie have been for nothing. People are already speculating online that Eddie’s behaviour pushed you to cheat on him.”

Richie groaned again, running his fingers through his hair. “So I’m going to get hit with some more bad press to make Eddie look good again?”

Audra let out a low, harsh breath. “I don’t know what they’re going to do. They could easily spin this on Eddie. Play him off as some sort of terrible person, pump you back up, start paying attention to some other member of their band...”

“Or they could drop them.” Richie said quietly, tapping his fingers against the counter. “This kind of drama without even an album dropped, no real results? It might not be a risk they want to take.” 

Audra nodded. “Yeah, no. You’re right. I can see it. Then Eddie will just be some wannabe that you used to go out with.” Audra rolled her eyes. “Sucks. They could have been great, but I think... most of the things in this article about Eddie and Stan are true.”

Richie tapped his whole palm against the counter just once, then pushed away from the table, yanking out his own phone. 

“Where are you going!?!” Audra called to him as Richie walked from the room, holding a finger over his shoulder. The other end rang so long that Richie began to tap his foot angrily on the ground, knowing that his caller ID had been seen and they were hoping he would hang up. But Richie wasn’t going to shove aside.

“Hello, you’ve reached the line of Margaret Tozier. She unfortunately can’t come to the phone right now-”

“Cut the shit, Kevin.” Richie broke through, pinching the brim of his nose. “We both know she’s literally listening in on this phone call because you saw my name when the phone started to ring. Put her on, and get the fuck off. Or I swear to God-” 

“What is it Richard?” Maggie’s voice finally came through the line, but Richie remained silent until he heard the sound of her assistant clicking off the line. 

“You’re going to drop Eddie’s band, aren’t you?” Richie said sharply. “Because of that leak?”

Maggie was quiet on the other end. “Not because of the leak.” She finally responded. “Because what was said in the leaks were true. We’re not going to put our money or time into a band that’s just going to have a bunch of issues and crash into chaos half way through a tour. You have to understand that.” 

“Well, I don’t.” Richie lied. Trying to pretend that hadn’t been a thought of his own this whole time. “It’s not... it’s not like that with them. Maybe they’re fighting right now, whatever. Stan and the guys, they’re good dudes and Eddie... Eddie isn’t like what those leaks said, okay? He’s not. This is their dream. You can’t tease them with it and then take it away. Not after the fucking hoops you made Eddie jump through. The only reasons there’s any fighting at all is because of you!”

Another silence from the other side of the line, and Richie let out a frustrated sigh. “Richard, are you in love with this boy?”

Richie almost growled. “NO, Mother.” Richie smacked himself in the face, not sure how else to get his feelings out in that moment. “It’s not even about that, it’s just... they’re good, you know they’re good. So maybe if you just left them alone, stop making them do fucking bullshit publicity and trying to keep Eddie separate from the band like that shit you pulled with that meeting last week, then they’d fine!” 

“And what are we supposed to do about these accusations about Edward?” Maggie counted. “It’s too early in his career for people to be talking about him being a bad person. The time hasn’t come for bad publicity.”

“Oh fuck off.” Richie said with an eye roll. “You expect me to believe that you don’t have something up to your sleeve that can take the attention away from this? Eddie and his band are good people, and they’re good musicians, okay? I know you pull something.”

More silence. Richie squeezed his eyes shut, knocking his head against the forehead. 

“Please, Mommy.”

“... I’ll see what I can do, Richard.”

xxx

The next morning Richie and Audra were awoken with a loud banging from the front door. Richie rolled from his bed and smashed his face against the ground. Richie groaned and rubbed at what would no doubt become a bruise on his forehead. 

“RICHARD! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!” 

Eddie Kaspbrak?  Richie blinked and grabbed for his eye glasses, stumbling to his feet. He hadn’t heard from Eddie- because of strict orders- since their break up had been released to the public. And he sounded beyond pissed. 

Richie tossed the door open, Audra stumbling out of her room just behind them. “Hey, Eds, what’s-” Richie coughed out the end of his sentence as Eddie’s fist connected angrily with his chest. Richie wheezed, clutching at himself and stepping backwards. Eddie followed him in, punching at Richie anywhere he could reach.

“You stupid, motherfucking piece of shit!” Eddie screamed, tears on his face and voice pitching high. “You goddamn greasy whore! FUCK YOU! I can’t believe I ever thought you- FUCK!” 

Eddie’s hand collided with the side of Richie’s face, and Audra finally snapped out of her shock. She ran forward and squeezed herself between the raging Eddie and now shaking Richie. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What the hell is going on, Eddie!?!”

Eddie let angry heaves of breath, glaring at Richie as the other boy rubbed his cheeks and tried to hold back the tears in his eyes. “This fucking bastard recorded us having sex and didn’t fucking ask me. Didn’t even TELL me.”

Audra whipped around to glare at Richie, but found him looked at Eddie in complete confusion even as his cheek was starting to swell up. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Don’t play stupid!” Eddie cried, tears still pouring down his face even as his face was bright red with anger. “It’s all over the fucking Internet! Everybody has fucking seen it, you FUCKING perv.”

Richie shook his head, a dazed expression coming over him. “Eddie, I swear to God I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” 

There must have been something in Richie’s voice, or his face, he wasn’t sure, but it was like something in Eddie deflated. His cheeks were still red, and his arms were still shaking, but he suddenly looked more uneasy than anger. “Come on.” He said a little sharply. “I’ll show you.”

Audra quickly bundled up a bag of ice and handed it to Eddie. Eddie moved over and pressed the bag to Richie’s swelling cheek. “You could say sorry for hitting me seven thousand times,” Richie grumbled, wincing at the ice touched his skin. 

Eddie glared at him darkly. “I’m not apologizing for shit until I’m completely convinced I’m not going to kill you for this.”

Richie sighed, letting Audra lean beside them as the video loaded. It was clearly Richie’s bedroom, Richie sucking marks down Eddie’s chest while Eddie whimpered under him. Richie’s stomach churned and he couldn’t let it play for longer than 30 seconds before he smashing the laptop’s keys to get it to stop.

He pressed a hand over his mouth, and Eddie’s expression finally lost all trace of anger. He leaned past Richie’s shoulders to look at his face. “Richie. Are you okay?”

“I don’t understand.” Richie admitted, frowning even though it sort of hurt his face. “That’s us. That’s my room. But I don’t... I didn’t put a fucking camera in my room. Before Eddie, I hadn’t even had sex with somebody in that bed before.”

“What?!?” Eddie squawked but Richie just shook his head. 

There was a serious, dark look on Audra’s face. She run her tongue along her bottom lip and booked it from the table, running towards Richie’s bedroom. Eddie and Richie exchanged a long look before Eddie dropped the ice bag to the table and they chased after her. 

As Eddie and Richie got into the bedroom, Audra was standing on Richie’s bed, staring up at his over head fan. 

“Hey... whatacha doin...” Richie said slowly. 

Audra looked down at him, and there was level of crazy in her eyes that Richie hadn’t seen in years. Eddie shuffled a little closer to Richie, standing half behind him. “This is the angle from the video right,” Audra said, gesturing wildly around the room. “And we can’t deny that. So there’s a camera in here. Even if Richie didn’t put it up, somebody did.”

Richie nodded slowly, feeling Eddie leaning into his space. He was a little concerned with how quickly Eddie had gone from ready-to-murder-him to using-him-for-comfort, but he shrugged it off. If the situation had been reversed, Richie probably would’ve been out for blood too, if he’d been Eddie.

Audra looked back up, narrowing her eyes at the fan once again. “Eddie, Richie, somebody get me the baseball bat from under the bed.”

“You keep a baseball bat under your bed?” Eddie asked, widening his eyes as Richie moved to toss it towards her. 

“Yeah,” Richie shrugged. 

Audra clutched the baseball bat, and gave zero warning before swinging it up to collide with the fan. The fan smashed open, piece flying everywhere. Eddie let out a startled cry, Richie diving towards him and shoving Eddie behind him. Audra knocked the bat into the remaining parts of the fan before sighing and tossing the bat aside. 

Richie and Eddie stepped closer as Audra knelt down to start picking through the pieces of the fan. Finally, she pulled out a camera with ruined ends from being forced out of the ceiling. Eddie glanced up, narrowing his eyes until he could see the frayed ends from the camera’s cord that buried itself into the ceiling. 

Richie walked forward slowly, taking the camera from Audra’s hands and turning it over in his hands. He ran his fingers along the engraved writing; BURNS-TOZIER MANAGEMENT DEPARTMENT. 

Richie’s stomach heaved and he barely made it to the bedside garbage can before he was losing whatever was in there. 

[otdderamin]

Transcript: Fjord's inner fears – TM for CR C2 Ep61

This is the longest Talks Machina transcript I’ve put together (it’s 14 pages), and it’s only half the good stuff: Beau’s answers were also excellent. This is the absolute best of what Talks can be: Travis spilled absolutely everything about the subtext of Fjord and what’s been going on in his mind as he panics. All the things we’ve been speculating about are laid bare. This is the subtext to everything going on in Ep61 and Ep62.

Scenes run:

1. How stressed was Fjord losing his powers?  0:26:34 to 0:13:07

2. Fjord is scared of losing both his friends and connection to Vandran 0:16:56 to 0:20:10

3. Maybe we’ve misjudged Uk’otoa 0:23:29 to 0:24:41

4. Fjord didn’t want to see Wursh, it was an excuse for a crisis walkabout 0:24:41 to 0:26:59

5. Fjords powers are defining who he is 0:33:40 to 0:34:23

6. Everyone needs to pull their weight or they’re out 0:35:16 to 0:38:52

7. Fjord’s fallen in love with this version of himself 0:42:31 to 0:44:42

8. Uk’otoa is a connection to Vandran and now 0:46:55 to 0:48:34

9. Fjord doesn’t care about Avantika 0:52:09 to 0:52:55

10. Home is a big-ass maybe 0:54:30 to 0:58:10

1. How stressed was Fjord losing his powers?

0:10:06 Brian: “Travis, Vega_The_Fool wants to know, ‘On a scale of one to being dumped in a room alone with a blue dragon, how stressful was it for Fjord to wake up and find he’s been depowered? On the same scale, how stressful was it for Travis Willingham to realize Fjord had been depowered?'”

0:10:25 Travis, passionately: “Yeah, look, they’re one in the same, bitches! Okay? It was a ten! A fucking ten! A ten! It was terrible. It was awful. In the moment I was looking at Matt like, ‘What are you…?’ I just- I thought maybe I was just getting, like, I don’t know, nerfed or something, but to conjure nothing… I’m a guy with a sword. I’m a guy with a sword…”

Marisha: “I’m convinced there’s a 20-minute time period after that happened to you that you didn’t hear a word said at the table.”

Brian: “Yeah, you might have to watch that back.”

Travis, shaking his head: “Nope. Nope.”

Marisha: “I could tell just…” she mimics stressfully changing positions.

Brian: “That blankness, yeah.”

Travis: “Uh-huh. I’m pretty sure I was movie breathing, too.”

Marisha: “Yeah.”

Travis: “Like,” he breathes loudly and heavily. “During the endgame Laura tapped me and she was like, ‘Stop fucking breaking so loud.'”

Brian: “Yeah yeah yeah.”

Travis: “Something I do. Big ass no.”

Brian: “I almost broke Ashley’s hand. I was holding her hand and five minutes into the movie I was squeezing it so hard she, like, peeled her fingers off and was like, ‘Can you chill for a sec?’ And I realized it was because she had a Milk Dud stuck in there that I really wanted. Were you going to say, Travis?”

0:11:29 Travis: “I was gonna say, blue dragon was like, ‘Oh god, I might die. thank god people are coming.’ But the… Not having any powers and Travis having a character that has no powers, yeah, not good! It’s no good.”

Brian: “I have been in haunted house situations with you before, I’ve been in scary situations with you before, and I know when you sound terrified. And I was sitting there on my laptop watching the show, and when you ran out in the street and were like, ‘Oh fuck, oh fuck,’ I was like, ‘Oh no, oh no, oh no!’ It’s cool. It’s cool. I like it. I like it when you’re going off a little bit.”

0:12:03 Travis: “It’s okay. I’m sure because, because, thanks to CritRoleStats, it’s only been 35 days since, you know, since the last eye was placed that I have another 35 days before my next warning.”

Brian: “No, you don’t know that’s the case.”

Travis: “Yes. That is exactly what they said.”

Dani: “Really it’s been like 5 days since your last warning.”

Marisha: “It’s like a 90-day default period.”

Travis: “There’s a verbal warning, and then there’s a shot across the bow, okay? That was a shot. That was a physical…”

Dani: “So do you think they’re just going to escalate, or do you think he’s going to go back to verbal warnings?”

Travis: “Look, I’m sure there’s like, there’s gonna be a flier that comes in the mailbox that’ll be like, ‘You have 90 days to reply to this. Your interest is…'”

Brian: “Yes. It’s going to be so gentle.”

Travis: “You’ll be sent to collections if you don’t reply.”

Brian: “It’s going to have a big thing on the front that says,” Uk’otoa voice, “‘Reply.'”

Travis, laughing: “Open it up and it’s just one word.”

Dani, quietly under Travis: “Uk’otoa I feel is actually the IRS.”

Brian: “Say it one more time, Dani.”

Dani: “Uk’otoa is exactly the IRS. Never trust a phone call. They only send letters.”

Travis: “That’s why they sealed him away.”

Brian: “More like the IRIS.”

Marisha, after a pause: “Oh, iris, I get it. With it. Hip.”

Dani: “Oh no.”

Brian: “Okay, because it’s an eye and an eye has a-“

0:13:07

2. Fjord is scared of losing both his friends and connection to Vandran

0:16:56 Brian: “Travis, CalicoJill, ‘Fjord’s fear of losing his powers is palpable, where does that fear lie? Is he worried he couldn’t travel with his friends if he couldn’t hold his own or that he’d lose his last tangible connection to Vandran?'”

Travis: “God, these fans and their fucking good questions.”

Marisha: “I know, man.”

0:17:21Travis: “Yes. Both. I mean, yeah, he is temporarily satiated by the fact that Vandran seemed to be okay in Caduceus’ vision, or that he is well and trying to atone for past mistakes. I’d still really like to see the guy that, you know, treated him decent for the first time in his fucking life. Just say, ‘Hey, what the hell happened? Glad you’re okay. I’m okay if you were wondering?”

Dani, mournfully: “Oh-hoho.”

0:17:52 Travis: “Well yeah, you know. And then two, yeah, y’all- we’re some fucking dragon killing, like, badass 9th level motherfuckers. I’m not if I don’t have my shit! Right? If I just have a sword, I’m a half-orc with a strength of 11. I’m like a +1 with a sharp thing. It sucks! Yeah, nuh-uh.”

Brian: “Do you regret picking your class?”

0:18:21 Travis, animated: “I regret all of it! It’s all regerts all day every day! I just want out! Trade with me! Do it right now, shake on it. Let’s [exercise this demon]. Do it!”

Brian: “I just want out! Trade with me!”

Marisha: “No! I’d rather be a basic bitch than deal with some sort of demon.”

Travis, pleading: “Please. Look, look I could do it, watch!” He double punches the air. “Pap pap!

Dani: “Trade that!?”

Marisha: “No!

Travis, double punching the air again: “See: pap pap! Flurry of blows!”

Marisha: “Yeah, isn’t that great.

Dani: “Did you say, ‘Pap pap?'”

Travis, undercutting the air twice: “Stunning strike! Ba bap!”

Marisha: “You see that has nothing beholden to my fists.”

Travis, quietly stress and defeated: “Shit.”

Brian: “Nah dude.”

0:18:49 Marisha: “I felt really bad because as soon as the cameras went off, and I could see Travis’s like freaking out and I’m like the worst friend ’cause my first response was, ‘This is why I’ve never fucked with warlocks.”

Dani: “Yeah.”

Travis, laughing: “That happened!”

Brian: “Wow. Wow.”

Marisha: “And I was like,” she looks at him. “And he was just like,” she braces herself with both hands on the coffee table and slowly looks back at him in disbelief.

Travis, slapping his leg laughing: “That was what you said! I looked over at Taliesin for some guidance, like, bro, like, I mean, we kicked Orthax out of your body and then killed it. I got no Orthax, I got nothing to kill, I got no nothing.”

Brian: “I have no fire.”

Laughter.

Travis: “Yeah. Hey Korben my man.”

Laughter.

Travis: “Yeah, yeah no it’s panic around here.”

Brian: “I love that that was your reaction. Like, yeah.”

Travis: “Yes, yeah.”

Marisha: “Your choice, eh.” She throws up her hands.

0:19:32 Travis: “He cannot hang. He cannot hang. He would die real quick. If middle of the day, not like after a rest, I don’t know if the wisdom check the night before had anything to do with it. If it’s just like we’re getting ready to ambush some people and all of a sudden, like, my sword just falls out of the air at my feet right as we’re getting ready to go? I’m’a sit my ass right where we are and wish everyone good fortune.”

Dani: “Good fjortune?”

Travis: “Good fjortune? Oh, good- oh fjork you, Dani.”

Dani cackles.

Brian: “Oh boy. Oh boy.”

Travis: “Need my powers, man.”

0:20:10

3. Maybe we’ve misjudged Uk’otoa

0:23:29 Travis: “Listen, maybe we’re being too judgmental of poor, misunderstood Uk’otoa, right?”

Brian: “Okay, that line of thinking is bound to get you in a world of shit.”

Travis: “Maybe we just go, and we drop that third sphere, we let the little, the little snake guy out of his cage he just…” He makes a slithering motion.

Brian: “No. You’ve seen Prometheus.”

Travis: “No. Nobody saw that.”

Dani: “I was about to say, I was like, ‘Did you?'”

Brian: “Steve, you saw Prometheus?”

Steve: “Yeah, yeah.”

Brian: “You yeah, yeah?”

Marisha: “If you, like, suck another eyeball inside of you, and we kill him, though, do you get to keep his powers?”

0:24:01 Travis, stress laughing: “I don’t know! I didn’t read the contract! There wasn’t one!”

Dani: “I have a question.”

Travis: “Yeah?”

Dani: “Was there a contract? Or did you just wake up and you suddenly fucking had powers.”

Brian: “I think there was some nasty shit in this.”

0:24:13 Travis: “It was the latter as far as I know.”

Brian: “You woke up?”

Dani: “So you just don’t- so you also- so it’s like what y’all were talking about with those memory loss- memory-“

0:24:22 Travis: “Yeah, I was drowning. and it hurt like a motherfucker, and the next thing I knew I was awake on a shore and there’s a sword just washing up in the waves.”

Brian: “Should have had gills, man. Should have had gills like that Sea Quest character. You would be fine. This one’s for Travis.”

Marisha and Travis, laughing: “Sea Quest?”

Brian: “Here comes Lockey to remind us.”

4. Fjord didn’t want to see Wursh, it was an excuse for a crisis walkabout

0:24:41 Brian: Micawindow, Fjord seemed anxious to leave the herbalist’s and talk to Wursh. If he hadn’t learned his powers returned when he created a minor illusion, would the conversation with Wursh have gone differently?”

0:24:59 Travis: “Uh yeah. I only went to talk to Wursh ’cause fucking Yasha wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Brian: “It’s true. Yeah.”

Travis: “I was trying to fucking-

Marisha: “Wait, what, really?”

0:25:09 Travis: “Yeah! I don’t give a fuck about Wursh! I was trying to amscray!”

Brian: “You forgot about Wursh. Forgot about Wursh.”

0:25:14 Travis: “No, I was gonna ask- Yasha was like, ‘I’m gonna follow Fjord.’ And I’m like, ‘Fuck!’ ‘I’m going to talk to Wursh right now. That is my only intention.'”

Marisha, laughing: “You were trying to have a crisis walkabout and…”

0:25:28 Travis: “Yeah! That’s why I was getting so impatient! Shit is going down, alright!? The clock is ticking! I don’t need to share it with you guys! I can resolve it, but I need to do it on my own time, my own terms!”

Dani: “Ooo. That is not a healthy way of thinking, Fjord.”

Travis: “Did you, are you saying that to Fjord, right? Travis is a very responsible person and a good friend.”

Marisha: “I was about to…”

Brian: “What?”

Marisha: “Nothing”

[They gently browbeat Marisha into talking.]

Marisha: “Just didn’t know if we were talking to Travis of Fjord.”

Brian: “I know, he’s got more accents than Liam’s character has names.”

0:26:26 Travis: “Well, and listen, half of it was I was asking about what was in the town because as we walk through, we’ve just kind of been moving to one place and the other, not really taking inventory of what’s around. I don’t know if there were temples or other things that maybe I could pop in and go like, ‘Hey, do you guys know anything about a giant snake dude called Uk’otoa?'”

Marisha: “Can I get a B12 shot?”

Travis, laughing: “Yeah, seriously!”

Marisha: “Just real quick.”

Brian: “Is this the tent where they’re doing the B12?”

Travis: “Do you ever reckon that wellness shot? Can we get some…”

Marisha: “Universal healthcare, right?”

Travis: “Yep.”

0:26:59

5. Fjords powers are defining who he is

0:33:40 Travis: “I mean, okay, I can say that Fjord’s not an open- like, just a straight-up open book. He’s… yeah. All these powers, when he has them, are defining who he is, right. It was really not anything close to that before. So yeah, he keeps it super close to the chest. Plus, people look to him in a… looked to him in a leadership role for a while. That’s new to him, too. So, he thinks that, probably from his experiences with Vandran, that, like, stoic, quiet, calm leaders that don’t show, you know, that don’t blush in the face of adversity are how it’s supposed to be. Not knowing that you can do it however the fuck you want to. there’s no right way to lead.”

0:34:23

6. Everyone needs to pull their weight or they’re out

0:35:16 Brian: “Travis, Dikemon asks, I’m going to skip some of this, ‘How much of his abilities does Fjord tie into his identity? Is he scares that the Nein might think less of him if he becomes powerless?'”

[Full question: Travis: We’ve seen Fjord grow more confident as his powers grew. 61 episodes in and those powers are threatened to be taken away. ‘How much of his abilities does Fjord tie into his identity? Is he scares that the Nein might think less of him if he becomes powerless?]

0:35:26 Travis: “The guy shouts ‘Eldritch Blast’ when he doesn’t have to. Yeah, it’s, uh, yes. I see the bottom half of the question. Yeah, they’ll think less of him. Who wouldn’t, right? Everybody needs to be able to- No, Dani, they would! You’ve gotta pull your own weight in this group. If you are the weak link, they’re gonna hold auditions for The Mighty Eight.”

Brian: “The Might Eight?”

Travis: “Yeah. That’s what’s happening.”

Marisha, looking confused and concerned: “No, we wouldn’t, though. You know that.”

Travis: “No. Nope.”

Marisha: “You know that, but Fjord doesn’t know that.”

Brian: “I don’t know. No, Fjord doesn’t know that.”

Travis: “Don’t know. Caleb is… I mean, listen, I think Caleb evaluates all the group members, and because they can each contribute something to keeping each other safe, then it’s a zero-sum game that everybody can, you know, they can take care of each other. If one person is going, ‘I’ve got a sword over here if any of you need it,’ like a fucking ball boy,” he slightly shakes his head.

Marisha: “Well, look, you could have been our Caddy Shack for a few episodes, and we would have gone and got your powers back. We just quest for powers.”

0:36:37 Travis: “How do you do that? How do you do that? How do you think you do that?”

Marisha: “We…”

Travis: “Where is Uk’otoa to you?”

Marisha: “We toss you in some salt water.”

Travis: “Uh-huh.” His body language says, “I don’t know.”

Marisha: “Let you get a little…”

Travis: “Briny?”

Marisha: “Uh-huh.”

Travis: “Uh-huh.”

Marisha: “See what happens, go from there.”

Travis: “How long do we wait while I’m in the ocean before you realize it’s not doing shit?”

Marisha: “Mm, you know…”

Travis: “A fortnight?”

Marisha: “Not beyond the threshold of a Revivify.”

Laughter.

Travis: “Oh god!”

Brian: “Oh wow.”

Travis: “You’re trying to reset the hard drive? Like, you’re just going to- okay. Okay cool.”

Brian: “You’re thinking just like… You’re thinking reformat disk. Reformat disk.”

Dani: “Turn him off and tuning him back on!”

Travis: “Yeah, you’re turning the computer off and holding the power button down factory settings.”

Marisha: “Fuck you guys. He’s blue screened.”

Brian: “Disk utility. Yikes.”

Dani: “Aw, think how much Beau loves Fjord that she would be willing to factory reset him.”

Travis: “Wow.”

Dani: “Aw, I think it’s sweet.”

Travis: “Wow, that is some…”

Dani: “We’re just going to throw you in the water, buddy.”

Brian: “I can’t wait.”

Marisha: “Look, this was a 60-second plan. This has had no R&D. Okay? I’m not saying we go with our first draft. We think about it. I was just tossing it out.”

Brian: “Campaign 2: now with more Eternal Sunshine on a Spotless Mind.”

0:37:51 Travis: “Yeah. this is what I was doing in the game in the moments where my head was exploding. Like, none of us in the group have any idea how to approach or solve that problem. Nobody.”

Brian: “Yeah. Nobody.”

Marisha: “I mean, we’re going to have to figure it out though.”

Dani: “Only if he tells y’all! Fjord.”

Travis: “I’ll take care of it. It’ll be fine. I’ll take care of it.”

Marisha: “You know when your- you know when your check engine light goes on?”

Brian: “Ew. I don’t think that one bit.”

Dani: “That’s weird.”

Marisha: “Start counting down the days. My check engine light has been on for nine days, you guy.”

Travis: “Yeah, I’ll get it, it’s fine. And then you take it into the shop they’re like, ‘How long’s this been on?”

Marisha: “Uh… a few days.”

Travis: “November?”

Marisha: “Pop the hood, I don’t smell burning, we’re good. We’re good.”

Travis: “Right.”

Dani: “The freakiest days are the ones where the check engine light turns off. And then you’re like, ‘Eh, that’s weird. That’s worse.'”

Marisha: “Yeah. Those are the days I say someone’s looking out for you.”

Brian: “It gave up. The check engine light gives up, that car’s going to explode.”

Travis: “Yep.”

Brian: “Speaking from experience.”

0:38:52

7. Fjord’s fallen in love with this version of himself

0:42:31 Brian: “The only person that could save us now is Skidrule316. ‘Travis, what is Fjord’s apprehension about telling his friends about his dreams and the consequences of ignoring his patron?'”

0:42:46 Travis: “I mean… I think Fjord has fallen in love a little bit with the idea of who this new version of himself is. And being vulnerable and telling people what your biggest fear is and admitting all the ways that you suck, in addition to all the new reasons that you reallysuck, it’s like one step too far. Plus, I mean, he gave it a day, right? He didn’t just up and fucking run out in the middle of the night, although I was on the razor’s edge of just tearing off into the darkness. I don’t know. I didn’t know what the fuck was going to happen. So, conjuring that bird was a real good sign. But he’s motivated to fix it. What was the back half of that question, the back part?”

Brian: “It was about, ‘Fjord’s apprehension about telling his friends about his dreams and the consequences of ignoring his patron.’

Travis: “Oh, the patron, yeah. I mean, that I have no- I don’t have any idea about. I was looking for a temple. I don’t know if anyone would have any idea of what Uk’otoa is, or if they know how to break whatever agreement this thing is, if it is an agreement. I don’t even remember it happening, so I don’t know if he is…”

Brian: “What happens if the agreement is broken though, dude?”

Travis: “I don’t know. I mean…”

Brian: “We don’t know that that’s good.”

Travis: “No, we don’t.”

Brian: “But we don’t know that you’re good, but now I’m thinking you might turn good because this one’s evil.”

Travis: “No, yeah. I mean, from the day that happened until now, everything has been different and awesome because I can shoot shit out of my hands, and jump between planes, and change the way I look, and all of that. If you told me I’m just going back to being who I was before…”

Marisha: “Normal?”

Travis: “Yeah. That’s not awesome. It’s not great.”

Marisha: “Yeah. Yeah, that would suck.”

Travis: “Yeah. He still has work to do, too.”

Brian: “Normal sucks. Right, Max?”

Max: “Yep.”

Laughter

0:44:42

8. Uk’otoa is a connection to Vandran and now

0:46:55 Brian: “Let’s see, Travis, let’s see if you- let’s see what you can answer of this question from GracelessKnight. ‘Fjord’s accent dropped during his nervous breakdown outside. Is there a significant attachment of his accent with his pact with Uk’otoa? Is it heightened knowing that Vandran was also a chosen? If so, how’s he coping with those connection momentarily lost?'”

Travis: “I don’t know anything about an accent drop.”

Dani: “I fucking knew that’s what you were gonna fucking say! Goddamn it!”

Brian: “I told you. I told you he was gonna say it. I told you, but we decided to leave this question in anyway.”

0:47:30 Travis: “Yeah, I mean, it’s definitely heightened with Vandran also being a chosen. I mean, we think. We think, right? I mean, from everything that Avantika said about Vandran, it sounded like he brought her into it. I don’t know if he was a chosen or if he was brought into it the same way he brought her in; I don’t know. But yeah, that’s a huge connection to his past life and now. I mean how the hell is he even supposed to address finding him if he doesn’t have the abilities or the thing that is the link to the last moment that he saw him in? I mean, we’re on the other side of the fucking map. We’re not even on the map, anymore.”

Dani: “That’s true.”

Travis: “We are upper north east adjacent. We are out of bounds. For the moment.”

Brian: “Yeah, out of bounds. Return to gameplay please.”

Travis: “Yeah, he is far from home, yeah.”

Brian: “Return to the combat zone, please.”

Marisha: “Yeah. Sixty seconds.”

Dani: “Aw, just like Spider-Man. He’s far from home.”

Travis: “Yeah, that’s right.”

Brian: “Oh, Dani, oh…”

Travis: “Spoilers.”

Dani: “That’s the name of the movie!”

Travis: “I’m not sure.”

Brian: “Yeah, but some of us…”

0:48:34

9. Fjord doesn’t care about Avantika

0:52:09 Brian: “Yettinim wants to know, ‘How does Fjord feel about Beau wearing one of Avantika’s coats?'”

Travis, singing: ♪ Get it girl. Get it get it girl. Get it girl. Get it get it girl. ♪

Marisha, dancing: “I’m fly.”

Travis: “I mean, sorry. He doesn’t care. Nah.”

Brian: “Doesn’t care.”

Travis, shrugging: “Nah.”

Dani: “Hit it and quit it, man.”

Brain: ‘Yeah, it wasn’t the coat.”

Marisha: “It’s mine now, bitch!”

Travis: “Keep your enemies close.”

Brian: “Yeah.”

Marisha: “It looks good, too.”

Brian: “It wasn’t the coat he had a wonderful evening with.”

Travis: “That’s right, yeah.”

Dani: “I mean it might have been. What?”

Marisha: “It’s fur lined now, fits real nice, shows off my figure.”

0:52:45 Travis: “Yeah, both Fjord and Travis don’t put a lot of stock in new clothes.”

Brian: “Yeah, we can tell there.”

Dani: “He’s probably like, ‘Oh, is that Avantika’s coat?'”

Travis: “I bought this in 2004, so…”

Brian: “You did?

Travis: “Yeah.”

Brian: “Yeah yeah yeah.”

0:52:55

10. Home is a big-ass maybe

0:54:30 Brian: “Lalalyssh wants to know, ‘Fjord grew up an orphan and Beau was ostracized from her family. How do these characters feel now that they have been offered a home to share with their found family?’ So, you guys have this home now. You know, it’s not a house, as you said earlier. You corrected me.”

Travis: “A dwelling? A homestead?”

Brian: “You have a dwelling.”

0:54:49 Travis: “I don’t know. I- He- I feel… I feel good about it. As long as things stay the way they are he’s pretty comfortable with this new life and family. But shit changes sometimes.” He stares at Marisha helplessly.

Marisha, growing more concerned: “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah?”

Travis: “Not in a bad way, I mean, I’m just speaking in a reference to my warlock abilities.”

Brian: “Yeah.”

Brian: “How does Beau feel- Wait, you seem so suspicious all the sudden.”

Marisha: “Uhh…” She nudges her head at Travis.

0:55:24 Brian: “A lot’s going on up there, isn’t it?”

[…]

0:57:08 Travis: “Yeah. I mean, genuinely Fjord is all about moving in solidifying things, embracing this new life. There is a big-ass maybe just floating out there though, now. Like, all of a sudden one morning nothing was like it was the night before, so I don’t know what that means.”

Marisha: “Well, and it feels like you also had your found family before with Vandran.”

0:57:31 Travis: “Yeah, and that shit ripped away.”

Marisha: “And that shit got ripped away.”

0:57:34 Travis: “Yeah, totally. This is the third version of himself.”

Marisha: “So, right. I can understand that through line of, well, you have this by blood, and theoretically they’re not supposed to be able to be like ‘nah’ to you. Theoretically.”

Dani: “Theoretically.”

Brian: “Theoretically. Yeah.”

Marisha: “I don’t know.”

Travis, wincing: “Yeah. Yeah. Oh god.”

Dani: “There’s just so much good character work.”

Travis: “I’m sure Mercer will take it away. It’ll be fine.”

Brian: “There’s a lot of deep character work going on. I like it. I want more.”

Travis: “I’ll be fine.”

Dani: “It’s all so tasty. Omnomnom.”

0:58:10

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[ch-sy]

It's taken me like 6 years to realize that some men just really ain't shit

I haven't been able to talk about this to anyone in my RL about this because of my social circle and knowing it would cause a bad situation to spiral out worse but I gotta go off sis..

So, almost like 2 years ago I was living in a rented house with my boyfriend and our two roommates (who were also guys.) ONE of these roommates was really chill and like, minded his own business and didn't cause any shit or anything. My boyfriend and I were really comfortable living with him pretty much right off. But the 2nd one was literally one of the most twisted, conniving motherfuckers I have ever had the misfortune of crossing paths with in my entire life. Just for starters, we didn't know this guy had killed someone before. A really long story short, his house had been broken into before because someone found out he had a safe in it with like 10k stashed. So they tried robbing him in the middle of the night-- he winded up shooting one of them and killing the guy. Anyways, we didn't know about this until like 3 months after he had moved in.. well.. then he started acting really nice toward me and from my boyfriend's perspective on things, started either giving him the cold shoulder or he would almost be fakely nice to him.

This motherfucker spent like almost 5 months trying to drive a wedge between me and my boyfriend, he tried to get me fucked up on ecstasy when we went on a beach trip to try and take advantage of me while my boyfriend wasn't there because he was working all weekend. Once he realized he couldn't get me he literally got together with one of my BEST FRIENDS and coworkers to try and piss me off (it worked, but only because by then I knew exactly what he was doing and even tried warning her that he was.) She didn't listen, and once he realized that he wasn't getting to me he started treating her terrible and cheated on her cause he's a real winner. By the end of things, my boyfriend and I decided the living situation was entirely too toxic and we broke our lease just to get away from him. The scumbag waited until my boyfriend wasn't home one day working and I was off to have his friend come over and help him pack his shit up, while they were in his room lowkey yelling about shooting all of us over it. We got out of the house and thankfully, we haven't seen shitstick again. Thank u, next

So NOW.. we're in a living situation with my boyfriend's co-worker, who at first- once again, seemed really chill mind you. I met his wife long before we moved in and we all got along really well, I thought it would be nice to live with another chick too.. whatever.

Over the past few weeks, his wife and I have gotten really close with each other so she's started opening up to me when talking about things. She told me that she's never been in a situation where her husband acts so cruel and distant to her. That he's changed a lot just over the past few weeks--like so much to the point she says he's a completely different person and it's getting so bad that she's starting to want a divorce. She's starting to resent him for it.

New Year's this year, he got entirely too wasted and shoved her into the dirt out in our yard. Two guys who were over here got pissed and one of them swung on him for it (because you don't lay your hands on a female like that, especially not your wife?) Our roommate proceeded to call her his bitch while he was trying to fight these two friends of his (that are no longer his friend's after this incident, mind you.) It was a really fucked up night. I winded up threatening him and telling him if he ever hurt her again that I would do it to him and it was going to be 1000 times worse and had to console her to calm her down for like an hour.

He started acting right again for like a week, after that and then went back to treating his wife like shit. And me and her are really close now so everytime I see her upset over the shit he does, I get pissed off..

Something registered the other day from the incident with our first shitty roommate and I've started picking up on some things:

1. He didn't start acting this way until after we moved in (she's somewhat noticed this- my boyfriend has noticed this and thinks if we have anything to do with it, its that our roomie is jealous of our relationship because honestly we really do have an extremely stable one) like, for example: I get kinda annoyed when my boyfriend has to work late. I was never like that before but I'm 6 months pregnant and so, like.. I need him around more than ever right now. He's understanding of this and so a lot of the time when I ask for him to come home, he does. Our roommate came in one day after this happened and was like "how come it's that she gets mad when her man isn't home but mine doesn't give a shit- what is that?" And we just kinda laughed it off because I figured he was just making fun of me for bitching.. but like, he does it all the time and I've picked up on it a lot more.

He's constantly comparing me and his wife, he came in one day long before my boyfriend got off work because my boyfriend is a foreman so he usually has to stay later than the others, and was like "there's a bunch of beautiful women in MY house" and it kinda rubbed me wrong when he said it, but once again, I wrote it off as nothing.

By now, our roommate and his wife are fighting almost every night. He's started refusing to take care of their 7 month old child unless she bitches him out to or begs him to (and--that's your fucking child bro, nobody should have to beg you to take care of your little girl.) He's been lowkey doing things to like, assert his dominance over his wifw I guess. It's really fucked up, like one day me and my boyfriend were gonna drop her off at work cause her car is broke and a lot of the time she has to walk.. and one day when we offered, he winded up calling us to be like "im home now so don't worry about taking her, I got it" and then PROCEEDED TO MAKE HER WALK TO WORK CAUSE "IT WAS A NICE DAY" girl I wanted to punch him in his face right then once I found out. To top this all off, she thinks he might be cheating now.

It's just collectively a bunch of shit that can't be ignored and I don't know how to deal with it. It's not my relationship but it's starting to affect me and my boyfriend's because they work together and our roommate has been doing so much fucked up shit lately (and seeing how he treats his wife) makes me paranoid about my boyfriend even being around him. Not because I don't trust him, but because I don't trust our roommate anymore.

And now I'm highkey wondering if he's got some sort of bullshit thing for me because of what's happened before. It's like weird flex but ok but I'm being serious.

I don't know if I should tell my boyfriend that I think it might be a possibility and we need to move out or not. It's a catch 22 because I could tell him and possibly ruin their friendship and work relationship (maybe for just being paranoid) or I could just not say anything, wait it out and possibly allow my friend's relationship to deteriorate. I know it's not really my problem and regardless of any of it--if he's that kind of person, it won't last anyway because he's a shithead and his true colors are coming out..

Either way, this entire situation has got me stressed out as fuck, I don't feel comfortable living here anymore and I'm pregnant and shouldn't be dealing with anymore stress than I already have to. I dont know what to do or I'm supposed to do cause..

[ilovjeon]

push your buttons | chapter one.

pairing: taehyung & jeongguk

genre: fluff, enemies to lovers n professional gaming (◕‿◕✿) (and smut!)

word count: 4.6k

summary: kim taehyung's life had become a routine:

1. get home from a long-winded day of something that he did not care about 2. make the journey to his bedroom - where he will stay for the rest of the night. 3. reach into his stack of ramen cups and collapse onto his stained apeach beanbag. 4. play video games.

and that was about it, until he met jeon jeongguk and a rivalry had begun.

Rain becomes beads on Taehyung’s window, the panes being painted by the light of his monitor and the cling of droplets. It was the pitter patter that almost seemed like an alternative soundtrack to a scene in a rom-com; the best girl laid out on her sheets, rain falling against her rooftop and some sad Joy Division playing on some old-timey record player to appease the mature audience. But all ambience was lost to the sound of gunfire and Taehyung’s jeers as he beat at his controller, screaming obscenities into his earpiece.

“Headshot, motherfuckers!”

A groan from the other end, “I have spawned in the same place eight times at this point and you are always there! I swear the game developers are your fans.”

Taehyung switched to an LMG, unloading bullets upon the pixelated characters that ran at him. “You’d think they would sponsor me if they were.” Taehyung’s legs twitched with every movement upon the screen, Seokjin beating his own fast fingers, shooting him down, “Oh, come on!”

“I really don’t mean to offend you, Tae,” Seokjin laughed as if he knew Taehyung was aware of what he was about to say - hint: he was. “I don’t think people would be influenced by a man that goes by xX_Dark-angel-Tae.tae_Xx, you know?”

Taehyung found himself on top of the ferris wheel, switching over to his - fully upgraded, may he add! - favourite sniper. Eyeing Seokjin through the scope, he replied blandly, “Ha. Never heard that one before.”

“I’m just saying, if you want to be taken seriously, think about changing that one.”

Aim, Taehyung squinted as if he were the one holding his weapon. Lining it up and fire! Seokjin whined as a bold, red title became a banner across his screen: dead. “It’s my branding now. No going back.” Taehyung jolted as an enemy had stealthily snuck behind him, his leg knocking the ramen cartons against his stained carpet. “I’m a verified dark angel now.”

“Beam me up then, please.”

“Jin,” Taehyung said, matter-of-factly, absentmindedly pushing the brim of his glasses up his nose, “That’s aliens, not angels.” Continuing, “And technically dark angels are from below so the correct term would be ‘drag me down’.”

Seokjin broke into song and then followed up with a cry as he was, unsurprisingly, shot by Taehyung. “Don’t let this get to your head, this is a once and a lifetime compliment by yours truly, but you’re pretty good.”

Taehyung let it get to his head, “And you’re pretty bad.”

“How about you go fuck yourself, Taehyung? Does that sound good?” Seokjin’s breath was fluctuating as if he had just ran a marathon and wasn’t sitting down playing a video game.

“Whoa, Seokjin. The aggression is up here,” Although Seokjin couldn’t see, Taehyung gestured high above him. “And we will need to bring it down here.”

“Sorry, Mr. Kim.”

Taehyung smiled, “That’s okay, Mr. Kim.”

“Don’t you have school tomorrow?” Seokjin mumbled through the crunch of Cheetos. “Looks to be just about your bedtime.”

Taehyung’s eyes turned to his alarm clock, flashing red numbers were yelling at him, saying it was 4:32 in the morning. “I can go another 30 minutes.”

“Do I have to daddy up here, Kim Taehyung?” Seokjin’s voice loudened, taking on that of an uncle. “Get your ass to bed, you stud.”

“On it, chief,” A lilt of his voice in question. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we will film for my stream next.”

Taehyung grunted in response, checking in at his save point and shutting down his console. A smile into the camera, and then a click of a button and he was now in his own reality. No alternates. No animated characters. No hero ending.

He was Kim Taehyung instead of xX_Dark-angel-Tae.tae_Xx; and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing.

Sometimes it was hard disassociating one from the other.

And with that thought, Taehyung fell asleep dreaming of some place far away from Daegu.

If it weren’t for the fact that Taehyung’s mother had picked up the mass of ramen cartons from the night before, Taehyung would have been able to eat the remains for breakfast that morning from the warm confines of his bed.

10 minutes until school, he could make his cereal in 2. He could wash his face with the soap he had bought for a dollar that smelt of musk and wood - Taehyung had the lavender in his hand but couldn’t brave the cashier, damn gender normalities! - in 1. He could slip into his shirt that was plagued with wrinkles and fumble into his pants in 3 minutes - and, oh God, is that another stain? 6 minutes in total and he hadn’t even calculated the bus trip.

But Kim Taehyung’s teachers would have already marked him as present and wouldn’t even read his name aloud because Kim Taehyung was predictable and a millennial in the digital world.

It was expected of him to be late at this point in the semester.

Pounding feet down stairs and a backpack loose on his shoulder, “I’m leaving now, see you tonight.”

“Do you need money for the bus?” His mother called.

Taehyung fiddled with the glasses at the brim of his nose, rubbing at the glass with a balled fist of fabric. “No, but could you please answer some of my emails while I’m gone? I read one this morning from T.I Corp and couldn’t understand a word.”

“Of course, love you.”

“Love you, too.”

And Taehyung was gone and, holy shit, the bus stop is 2 blocks away and the hum of an engine behind him signalled that if he didn’t run, it would be leaving without him.

Skipping third period had become a tradition and to go to class instead of the computer hall would be sacrilege. They were nerds but do you still constitute as a nerd if you skip class? Ironic.

Taehyung’s group of friends had first bonded over the fact that almost all of them came from independent junior schools, coming to their now high school as friendless and severely uncool in their bright coloured socks and graphic tees that would have been cool in 2009. They needed someone to sit with at lunchtime and so they came together as 5 kids that didn’t do much in their leisure time.

“I swear to God, if I get paired with Seungkwan again for physics I will lose my mind. He can see I have headphones in and he still tries to start a conversation.” Yoongi was a prodigy; he seemed to teach instruments how to play music in a weird reverse roleplay and, even though he never seemed to show up to class, he maintained his A’s.

Jimin beat against the mouse, the blocks becoming puzzle pieces, fitting into each other. “He’s nice. I’m with him in calculus, he said he would tutor me for free.” The neutraliser of the group; he had always been kind. People seemed to flock to him, drawn.

“That’s because he wants to fuck you underneath the bleachers,” Namjoon said knowingly. He was the last to join, Taehyung bringing him beneath his wing when Namjoon had begun to slip him his homework to copy. Taehyung hadn’t gotten below an A since.

Hoseok slapped at Namjoon’s shoulder and jeered from his relaxed state in his chair, an energy drink in his other hand. “Sounds like somebody in this room, no?”

“She needed help on her assignment, I couldn’t say no.”

Hoseok, “Was the assignment about finding her clit in the dark?”

A giggle from Namjoon, “Yeah, it was an easy A.”

Taehyung’s eyes have begun to fade, his reading glasses aiding him to no effect. The screen had become too bright and too crass on his fading vision and maybe he shouldn’t have played until 4 in the morning the night before his fourth period geography test. “Summer break soon, right?”

“Next week, thank you God!” Hoseok punched the air.

“God didn’t invent summer break,” Yoongi added.

“I don’t care who invented summer break, I just know that the parentals will be out of town which, you guessed it folks,” A dramatic wave of his hand, “A renowned Jung house party.”

A rosy blush had cast itself across Jimin’s cheeks and Namjoon pinched at them, “Did that trigger a memory, Park?”

Stuttering, “N-No, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Taehyung, with eyes still focused on Tetris and and the electronic backing track, “We know you had sex with Chanwoo on the 8th, we saw you.”

“Saw me?” Jimin began spluttering, “How could you have seen me?”

Yoongi, his voice a little too loud, competing with the music being carried through his headphones, “You were on the balcony, you voyeurist.”

Jimin’s hand became numb and he had already lost his game against the CP he was battling. “Fuck you guys.” And in urgent need of a subject change, Jimin beckoned Taehyung for help. “So, Tae, your competition is on Sunday, right?”

Taehyung could see Jimin in the screen’s reflection and his wide eyes demanded an answer before his friend’s began to continue their anecdote about his sex life. “Yeah. It’s not really a competition - it’s a convention. Moongold Studio’s asked me to be a player in a match against another influencer.”

“Do you know who yet?” Hoseok says after he takes a swig of his energy drink, as if he needed any more.

“Nope,” Taehyung said, defeated after his blocks ominously began to pile, the music fastening as they began to reach the top. “I told them that Seokjin is a good live entertainer, but they thought he wasn’t eliteenough.”

Namjoon, “You fucking nerd. You’re classed as an elite gamer.”

“I’m also elite in fucking your mom.”

“You know what,” Yoongi said, taking one headphone out of his ear. “I’d rather sit with Seungkwan in physics than listen to your shit banter.”

And, just like Cady Heron has insightfully recited in Mean Girls , Taehyung would never know what happened in third period Film Studies on a Thursday. He would only know that these 5 boys were the only friends he ever needed.

The convention was the nerd-fest that onlookers would have expected; the streets were stormed by men and women alike dressed as their favourite characters from any of a variety of Moongold Studio’s games and Taehyung felt excluded in his average every-man wear.

It had been set up by the founder and co-founder of the company and it seemed as though they made an effort with their location, the hall being surrounded by worker bees sitting in their cold office penthouse in the inner city and cafes and other consumerist establishments that look out their window in question. Taehyung imagined that young suited men sipped on their black coffee while eyeing him from across the street.

So, Taehyung pushed his glasses further up his nose and walked with purpose.

A hand pushed Taehyung’s chest, “You’re here for the convention?” The word ‘SECURITY’ had been written in neon yellow upon the man’s black vest, as if the badge wasn’t enough. His hairline had already receded into his scalp and the hairs that remained were coloured blonde – midlife crisis?

Taehyung raised his lanyard, “Special guest.”

The guard laughed because he could. “Special guest – I see.”

Taehyung felt his cheeks become the shade of the woman’s hair that was behind him in line. It was a vivid red and it matched the rouge that was swiped on her cheek. “I’m glad you can see, sir. We should all count our blessings; take care of your health!”

And he pushed past him and let the lobbyist open the door for him because he was an influencer, a special guest. People open doors for you when you have status. Taehyung thought about the men and women he had opened doors for just a few hours ago and the concept of power play in our society – but to keep from having an existential crisis among masses of thousands of people, he decided to let the latter become a repressed memory.

It would be easy to get lost among the crowd; each stall was set up fashionably on the perimeter of the hall, which caused a frenzy of perspired arms and clammy flesh to cluster together like sardines. It was a labyrinth of screens and booming sound effects but it fell upon Taehyung’s half deaf ears as he made his way through the masses, attempting to find his place backstage.

It wasn’t hard to find the stage, not as difficult as Taehyung would have thought. There was a large setup that overlooked the rest of the convention – like a summit. The dais was more extravagant than expected, the neon lights becoming prisms of teal and pink upon the tables that were topped with three screens. There were two, directly across from each other. Adrenaline coursed through Taehyung.

This wasn’t his first time playing Multiply in front of a crowd; it was as if Taehyung was a seasoned veteran at this gig. Every summer the studio would send the same automated email and his mother wouldn’t tell Taehyung before writing a simple, sure!

But, he was a lone wolf in the gaming scene. He wasn’t apart of a league, nor did he collaborate with any other gamer besides Seokjin in a live stream. Taehyung was known as Dark Angel and his fans had multiplied tenfold in the past year after he had cut his hair that reached past his shoulders. Shallow, huh?

Taehyung pulled his hood over his head and kept his eyes down, careful not to showcase his face to the masses. He didn’t need to be mobbed today, nor did he ever.

The only time Taehyung had looked up from his measly excuse of a disguise was to watch the short video that appeared on the screen above the stage. His head was brandished across the screen along with his online handle and he had noticed it was from his first photo-shoot in 2015. Maybe leafy green dye wasn’t the way to go.

“And, a special guest!”

But there was a blank silhouette and Taehyung felt like a downgrade – why didn’t he deserve the dramatics?

He approached the entrance backstage, the stairs blocked by another built body adorned in the same neon yellow font to assert his power. “Name?”

“Kim Taehyung,” And when he was met with silence, “ Dark Angel .” Again, Taehyung wished that his fourteen-year-old self had thought out his handle just a little further.

Guard, “xX_Dark-angel-Tae.tae_Xx ?”

A sigh, “I- Yes.”

He laughed heartily, it rumbled from deep within his chest – he reminded Taehyung of Santa Claus. “I’m just messing with you. My kid likes you, talks about you all the time at the dinner table; I knew who you were.”

“Oh, really?” Taehyung asked.

The guard introduced himself as Kyung-won, telling him shortly that his son played often – and that, surprisingly, Taehyung was his favourite streamer. “He hasn’t eaten a meal with us in months; he leaves his dinner in the oven so he eats with you at 7 pm.”

That would have been heart-warming if Taehyung liked kids. “I feel like the Pied Piper, I’m sorry,” He laughed. “I love kids.”

Kyung-won's chin wobbled as he droned on, he had a sweet looking face. It was fatherly. But, Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at the countdown on the main stage and the numbers couldn’t help but stare back. Only half an hour and people were beginning to flock to seats closest to the dais, excited chatter ensuing.  

“I’m really sorry, but I think I need to get fitted right now.”

Kyung-won's eyes become wide as he realises that Taehyung had approached backstage for a reason, his chins totter as he apologises and Taehyung thinks about how lonely this guard must be. He imagines his future and wonders whether he will take up a job as a security guard at a low budget gaming convention with a son who he hasn’t spoken to in months.  

Taehyung is pushed through the door and backstage wasn’t the Coke and Bacardi fest that anyone would have envisioned. There was a couch, suspicious stains lining the cushions and Taehyung would rather not think about what they could be. The table was stocked with various juices and sodas; were they supplying for 10-year-olds? Maybe his opponent was.

Taehyung was handed a jumpsuit, black and red with Moongold’s emblem emblazoned on the breast. Dragon’s were painted across each nipple and Taehyung wished that the designers had thought out the design more thoroughly. “Thank you, I wasn’t expecting such high budget design.”

“Only the best for the star of the show,” His assistant smiled; she was pretty in a normal way.

He shouldn’t be shy, she was the only person in the room but he still told her, “Would you please turn around?”

She did as he said and began to talk, ranting about Moongold’s latest game series that they wanted Taehyung to promote. “It will be the best in our franchise. We have built realistic characters, ones that a player would relate to. Cosplays, fan interactions, even adaptations could ensue after it is released.”

Taehyung’s shirt was off and he felt exposed, it was only when he was beginning to unbutton his jeans that he saw the cameras and blushed. “Creators think about cosplays and tweets?”

“Of course we do. Do you think we make games for fun,” She laughed – her laugh was menacing and Taehyung wondered if she was the antagonist of his story. “It’s all about the money in this industry, and promotions bring it in.”

The door opened and Taehyung felt his body jump, hands covering his body as he fumbled to grab a piece of fabric to cover up.  

“Hello?”

Taehyung was hidden behind the couch when his eyes finally turned to find a man’s silhouette beside the door; how had he not noticed the screams coming from beyond backstage? The man’s hair was mussed and there was a slight sheen on his brow, but he smiled. So Taehyung, with his half-naked body still concealed, muttered back a, “Hello."

“I’m sorry, I should’ve knocked.”

“It’s okay."

His eyebrows quirked at the sight of the couch, “Why does that look like a cum stain?”

Taehyung was wide-eyed and he felt his finger twitch, “I promise it wasn’t me.”

He laughed and Taehyung liked the sound, it was genuine.  “That’s what a guilty person would say.”

“I guess I’m exposed,” Taehyung lifted his arms above his head and the man giggled – giggled, to reiterate.

He grinned, “By the way, I’m Jeongguk. I don’t think we’ve met?” Taehyung knew who he was. He couldn’t not know Jeon Jeongguk. Jeon69, quite the iconic handle. The most viewed game streams on MotionBox. Taehyung was in a humble seventh place on the leaderboard and he couldn’t help but be competitive when faced with Jeongguk and his army of fans.

A salute, “Kim Taehyung. I don’t think we have.”

The woman had a flush when she handed Jeongguk his custom jumpsuit, eyes averted as she muttered, “For you.”

He simply smiled boyishly back at her and began undressing. As if he were alone in his room, like Taehyung and his assistant weren’t gawking at the definition of his biceps, the lines of muscles on his torso. What gamer is this jacked?

Taehyung thought about his Apeach bean bag and the abundance of empty ramen cups that surrounded it.

It was yellow, black stripes lining the pant leg and fire circling its hem. If Taehyung had worn that outfit, he would look like a cheap Beatrix Kiddo impersonator - the kind you see in swarms on Hollywood Boulevard. But Jeongguk looked cool, and he resented the fact that this fiasco that looked reminiscent of Gru’s minions could possibly look akin to the word ‘cool'.

But, it was when Taehyung finally slipped into his own outfit from his place behind the couch, peaking over the perimeter to see Jeongguk looking at him with those honeyed eyes that he felt a thunder in his heart.

“You hear that?” Jeongguk smiled, gesturing to outside the doors. A countdown. 54, 53, 52. “It’s time.”

From behind tasselled curtains, Taehyung could hear the host begin his introduction, greeting the audience. “If you think about it, the MC’s job is to prep and lube an audience.”

Lube an audience? Did Taehyung think that they were being prepared for a fucking and not a live gaming tournament? Taehyung felt his cheeks bloom in red, why had he said that? But Jeongguk giggled, “Sexy.”

If it were possible for a heartbeat to bruise your ribs, Taehyung was sure his own would be flowering blue and purples by the end of tonight. He only felt this way when playing Minecraft - a dirty pleasure, one that will be sealed for all of eternity if Taehyung could help it.

Taehyung was too alienated in his own thoughts that he barely heard Jeongguk say, “Hey, Taehyung, we need to get out there.” But he felt the tug on his hand and felt the warmth that had blanketed him for that split second and then it was gone, lost to the air.

Jeongguk strode across the stage with ease, hands in the air as if he were embracing the loud cheers that emerged from the audience. Taehyung quickly rushed to his seat, waving quickly to the viewers and hiding the grin as he saw his friends in his peripheral vision.

“Kim Taehyung!” Jimin screamed, lifting his poster high in the air - Hoseok, Namjoon and Jin gesturing wildly to the words emblazoned across the pink piece of paper; ‘You suck, Taehyung.’ Yoongi was sat in his chair, scrolling through his phone, but with his eyes still on the screen, pumped his hand in the air.

“Multiply offers a multi-player feature that has recently been upgraded with new settings, allowing real-time multiplayer gaming sessions. No lag, just stress-free gaming.”

Taehyung adorned his red headset and fidgeted with his fingers, the static leaving his hand feeling detached from his limb. Now is not the time, body. He could hear Jeongguk crack his knuckles, his fingers relaxed against the mouse as if he were in a PC Cafe and not about to participate in a live match. Did he really have no faith in Taehyung’s ability?

“Today we are joined with Kim Taehyung, ranked seventh on our worldwide chart and ranked second in fan interactions!” Of course, cheers from the crowd. “And to his right, we have none other but Jeon Jeongguk, our number one in all categories!” Of course, louder cheers from the crowd. “Oh, look at that smile.”

And Taehyung did look, and he wished he hadn’t because now he was caught off guard. His eyes crinkled at the sides, nose scrunched; bunny-like.

“10, 9-” Wait, what? People from the crowd begun to yell, different phrases that sounded akin to ‘Taehyung! Load your character!’ and a variety of different curses, coloured in anguish.

“6, 5, 4-” Taehyung’s hand moved heavily against the mouse, cursor flying over his character that shared his own clothing design. The numbness in his hand did not cease and it felt as if it were nothing but a limp blood vessel. Taehyung wished that he had been ambidextrous.

And the bell rang and Taehyung’s character hadn’t loaded onto his screen yet; no lag, my ass! A nervous tap against the right key, breath halting as the bar began to fill. There was an assault on Taehyung’s ears as Jeongguk’s rifle unloaded bullets loudly, his victims scream bloody and harrowing. Taking his eyes off of his own screen for a split second allowed him to see Jeongguk’s jumbo screen on the wall - already 459 points and 9 kills in the 10 seconds that Taehyung’s game began to load.

“You going to join me yet, Angel ?” Jeongguk chuckled, mockingly.

Taehyung frowned, a retort ready, but his monitor had loaded and he had spawned into the thick of the fight. A hoard of pixelated characters had drawn their guns but Taehyung was already upon them, his favourite gun; compact with a sleek silver exterior, his magazine would be big enough to dispatch everyone in the area without having to reload.

Jeongguk was there too, though, an FP6 in hand. Taehyung would have called this an amateur’s mistake if he hadn’t known it was the top streamer he had been talking about. Why would he bring a shotgun to a mass shootout?

But maybe Taehyung had underestimated Jeongguk because his gun had more impact than his own LMG, his points racking up more than Taehyung. And just like that, Jeongguk had taken the lead by a longshot and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to catch up.

Firing in rapid succession, Taehyung attempted to gain traction, mounting a water tank, aiming steadily down at the sea of people.

“You might as well sit back and enjoy the crowd.” Jeongguk arched at an eyebrow at Taehyung and jerked his head to the screaming audience. “You aren’t going to redeem yourself at this point.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows knit together as he focused, “Got quite a mouth on you, don’t you?”

“Yeah, and I know how to use it,” Jeongguk’s tongue poked at his cheek and Taehyung could feel his cheeks heat up. The jumbo screen zoomed in on Taehyung’s face and he wished he could recede into his skin.

Taehyung had gained on Jeongguk while he had been speaking, but not by much. The only thing he could possibly do, which may be impossible looking at the distance between each of their characters, was to kill him.

Taehyung tried to use his stealth to hop off the water tank and into an area more secure; an area closer to Jeongguk. While his charismatic monologue continued, the crowd giggling at his crude insults aimed at Taehyung, he hid behind a stack of hay.

And Jeongguk had finished gunning down his enemies, but he still remained standing in the centre of the shelter. Taehyung, his lips pressed into a harsh line, looked over to Jeongguk to see him drinking an energy drink, looking at Taehyung with a raised brow. “Give it a whirl, angel. I thought I might need to help you out, you know, it’s good to help those in need.”

Taehyung’s heart pounded, but not in the way that it did before. Who did he think he was? “Oh, aren’t you charitable?”

“Only the best for you, darling,” Jeongguk winked.

So, Taehyung aimed his gun, taking his sweet time in focusing on the back of Jeongguk’s head. Ready, Aim. But, someone else had fired and now the word ‘dead’ had appeared on his screen in red cursive and Jeongguk leaned back in his chair, cocky.

His fans erupted in the crowd and the MC had made his way back to the stage in his glasses that were too big for his face, excitedly asking whether the crowd had enjoyed the match. Taehyung eyed his friends that sat in the first row; Hoseok shrugged and gestured back to the words on his poster. This was the first time Taehyung had lost against a competitor at a convention.

Jeongguk got up, and so did Taehyung. Walking toward each other, Jeongguk wore the same rabbit smile he had before the match had started - when Taehyung had thought he were nothing more than a kid. He extended his hand and Taehyung had taken it, the warmth was back but it didn't feel as it had behind the curtains. Jeongguk drew him over with a pull of his hand until his lips were next to his ear, hot breath against the shell of his ear making his hair stand up. "Sorry."

Fuck you, Jeon Jeongguk.

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[krakenator]

Chapter 17 aka “Dune”

SPOILERS are sprinkled around extremely liberally for The Property of Hate

Masterpost here

RGB: oh fuck

That’s… that’s actually really neat. We get confirmation soon that everything in this world has color as blood, not just RGB. So, you can actually see it in this tree stump- idk if that’s how sap actually works but it’s a cool as hell visual

That’s a neat way to highlight how FUCKING UNNERVED AND AFRAID RGB IS SEEING THIS BULLSHIT

Oh fuck. Oh that is really not good. Oh no. oh god it’s a domino effect. No trees means nothing is holding up the sea which means the darkness can’t do anything on its own. This is gonna ripple back to the market isn’t it. Oh god

With the sea collapsing like this, Click may get released from his watery grave quicker than imagined…

YIKES

Ok, at least it stopped and stabilized. For now. buuuut that particular exit is completely unusable now

HEY WAIT A MINUTE *rewinds a few pages* YEAH REMEMBER THAT HUGE SCHISM CRACK FROM REALIZING RGB’S MURDERED MANY HEROES AND BEING TOLD TO SHOOT HIM? Yeah that shits GONE now

How the fuck? That hasn’t happened before. Hero’s had to sleep to heal her schism in the past.

AND ITS COMING BACK? One page after they’re out of the darkness and that schism is starting to think about making a reappearance. WHY THO

CONSIDER THIS: darkness ALSO has healing properties? Whereas total Light will burn, scorch, and white you out from existence, total Dark will hide, conceal, and heal you.

Then again, Hero’s schism didn’t heal on her first journey through darkness to get to the Market

So... more likely it was something to do with their bonding in the last chapter, or- or even though the Nightmare gave her a bad scare, it is still technically a DREAM, and dreams whether they are nice or scary will still heal you up a bit? Interesting if true. Alternatively, the sheer proximity to that literal blockade of dreams was just so, many and potent that Hero didnt even need to be asleep for them to work a little magic on her

I still think I’m onto something about Darkness also having healing effects, however! Consider the evidence:

RGB was fucking WRECKED right before Negative come out to play way back in chapter 6. Just utterly destroyed. He was COVERED IN BURNS from being PUNCHED ACROSS A FIELD and then his circuits got ELECTROCUTED. But Negative doesn’t have any of those injuries, and neither does RGB once Negative has finished his job. Negative, confirmed to be Made of Darkness, heals RGB from whatever dumb-fuck nonsense he’s gotten into to make Negative have to step in

EVIDENCE #2: that black residue Hero leaves from being impaled on the sick tree. Just because RGB believes nothing they did contributed to the tree’s revival doesn’t mean that’s entirely true. If Hero somehow left behind a lil bit o’ Darkness in the tree, then maybe it might have thawed a little/slower on its own even without the Butterfly also melting away the [—–]

One last, slightly off-topic thing before we get back to continuing the actual chapter, people produce soft lights and flowers when they sleep, right? and those flowers fade away once they wake up. RGB’s never done that, but Negative spawns blue roses that break apart when he’s done his business. My point being... RGB doesn’t dream. If he only ever actually asleep when Negative is awake?

RGB’s overabundance of color comes into play once again

“this sand is stained by the blood of dead trees” wow I did not remember this section of comic being as metal as it is

Wait the fuck a minute. Hold on. Hold- hold on

RGB IS A FUCKING COLOR BLEED PUN

RGB’s explanation is great for why this place is littered with husks of vehicles, but let’s think about what else probably ends up here, all those objects of sentimental affection and names- laptops, favorite pens. stuffed animals! The Sands are like a junk yard. and things occasionally get washed into the Sea, or the Sea washes them up here... just a cool cycle overall

SPECTACULAR TEAMWORK LOVELIES KEEP IT UP

back on the schism- its definitely much better than when they left the Market, but worse for having exited the Darkness. its more of an impression of a dip that a gaping wound right now

OH. So, yeah the sun piece will probably run into its brother whilst in the ocean, but RGB’s right- it probably went there in order to be hidden over other reasons

BUSTED

RGB: you did WHAT? You SOLD your FINGERS? Without TELLING ME? What made you think you could go and do that, I would’ve handled it!!

Hero, remembering that time she saw RGB rip his whole hand off and give it to an owl he met 2 seconds ago: I mean…

Yo can we… talk about RGB’s entire train of thought (LMAO) here? That he’s upset about Hero trading away parts of herself but doesn’t really give a fig about doing the same to himself? He’ll sell off buttons or an entire hand, but Hero gives away two fingers for a friend and he’s upset that she didn’t let him know, because he’d have handled it? On one hand it’s very “adults being horrified at children having to take on responsibilities and experiences they shouldn’t have to” which I am always about, yet on the other hand I’m getting a “RGB really doesn’t value himself much at all does he” vibe and yikes my heart

Like, between the self-worth issues touched on here and “maintain illusion of control and confidence by saying big words smartly”- same fucking hat. RGB needs to stop being relatable

“saying HUGE words, just INCOMPREHENSIBLE LETTERS when angry” is also. Yup. That’s uh. That’s me. goddammit

...... for me, this is what i would personally call the Nightmare Scenario

YOWCH that looks like it hurt. At least the good news is RGB will be able to recolor himself over a bit of time. Not sure if he’s also able to regenerate indelible lineart, so… better just not have to find out

also; that’s literally a train of thought. Why’s it colored like Negative, though? Is this a train made of Darkness?

YUP it’s a Darkness-cloaked train- how fucking weird must this look on Hate’s side?

Fdhafjk I forgot, they have NO IDEA what happened to Click. Amazing

what.... in the fresh hell is going on in this panel

BUT, super interesting implication that Hate can’t LEAVE this place, and that without Dial to get audio, or him/the Butterfly to go out and interact with things, Hate is very hands-off

but honestly wtf is the slanted speechbox? “this side of the script”??? i love it but what does this mean

RGB points out that charging through the sands like this should be destroying it, yet it remains perfectly intact throughout all of this, even when BURROWING INTO THE LITERAL ERASING SANDS. Interesting implication that Darkness can’t be erased. Interesting implication that Negative would be entirely unaffected by sand as well

IS DIAL EATING POPCORN? HOW

Who wants to bet this is gonna be an inkwell

AND DIAL IS LET OUT OF HIS CAGE!

Who the fuck would be the third party that’s sent this hell-train out to scoop up and deliver our heroes to them? 

The idea that the kidnapper has at least once before been a kidnapee is just so funny to me. HOW DOES IT FEEL RGB??

(war flashbacks to THIS MORNING when RGB: broke into song, rocketed himself across the market via explosion and a slingshot, and wouldn’t stop making puns the entire time) my man is a ball of stress but damn if he isn’t able to react in the moment

The good news is RGB’s color regen process is pretty slick- his back’s already back to normal

Your humansona’s a real Jackie Chan madman isn’t he RGB. a real Tom Cruise motherfucker. Some Buster Keaton level shit.

I SHOULD SINCERELY HOPE SO, you’re wearing like TWO lucky objects on your person currently. If that can’t give you even a smidgen of stat-boosting...

now CHECK THIS OUT: it seems like RGB starts running into weirdness BEFORE he charges directly into the dream-infested car. A film-reel overlay effect, and lookit his hat-  negative stripes of shadow

Chiaroscuro: “the effect of contrasted light and shadow” created by light shining in weird ways and directions. interesting chapter title to use, uncle mod, on a chapter which has got the pure whites of the erased desert/Hate’s realm directly contrasted with tree stumps and this weird, darkness train

Don’t you hate it when you run directly into a gas cloud of dreams

So we got a jewel (a box?), white and black hands, the iron again, a teardrop shape, what might be RGB’s Mystery Button, all with film reels

And speaking of that iron, we also get the fiery sharp shapes again… which morph into S’s. it’s a sound. a SSSSSSSSSSS

I just had to go look up what an iron actually sounds like and… yeah. It makes an SSSS sound

Human RGB is… unfairly handsome. Of course he is. AND I SEE THAT TV IN ON THE LEFT MOD

Hey wait a minute

That’s not my bastard man

NOBODY in this comic has spoken in ANYTHING other than black or white colored text. and now here is this ancient MEMORY MAN speaking in ORANGE?

well actually the ‘co-worker’ is speaking in like really dark maroon? BUT STILL

“we split” has returned, 15 chapters later

The duality of these two title pages is really something- past and present getting whacked awake, the similar position present RGB has fallen to mirror past-human-guy, going from the Light of the memory to the Darkness of the train

ACTUALLY, RGB didn’t even LAND like that. he fall on the floor like THIS. he’s SHIFTED to reflect the decayed, old, deteriotated and fragile memory currently playing out in his head

AND CHECK OUT THOSE NEGATIVE-STRIPE GLITCHES! WOWIE! Lots and lots of foreshadowing to the upcoming Neggy appearance coming very soon to a screen near you!

[spngirl11]

The Mysterious Girl: Chapter 4- The Necklace

Series summary: Sam and Dean discover something that leads to way more questions than they have answers too. This something brings them into an almost century old battle that’s much bigger then what they first believed.

Warnings: swearing, violence, kidnapping, I think that’s it…

Authors note: Its my first time writing anything so don’t judge me please! but if you do have comments or suggestions feel free to message me :) Enjoy!

Masterlist

Chapter summary:  The Winchesters listen to Diane’s story before noticing something interesting that might answer some of the questions they have but not before creating a million more

After sliding back into the impala ego slightly burned, Dean started the car.

“You just got beat up by a grandma” Sam laughed. Dean gave him a not so funny look back.

“She is really strong okay!” “Dude it’s not that funny!” “Bitch!

“Jerk!” Sam finally stopped laughing. “So uh… Where are we bringing her?”

“The bunker, it’s safe to talk like she wants and if she tries something else like that we’ve got weapons hidden every where.” Dean answered.

“Yeah. What do you think she needs us for?” Sam questioned.

“Who the hell knows, we’ll find out soon I guess.”

_

Once at the bunker, Dean had secretly gone to check on the girl laying comatose in the room as well as grabbing another one of his guns just in case, while Sam sat with Dee in the Library.

Sam was examining Diane a bit more now that they were in the light. She was definitely old enough to be a grandmother. She wore no makeup but wore jewelry that didn’t really match her badass style. She had diamond earrings and a necklace with a strangely shaped diamond pendant incrested with a symbol. She moved and talked like a human so he didn’t suspect any possession or monster, but just to be sure he served her a glass of holy water. After taking a sip unaffected, Sam felt a little better but was still in hunter mode just in case.

As Dean walked into the room Sam started “ So what can we help you out with?” Dean sat in a chair next to his brother across from Dee.

“Well, let’s just make it clear I was totally fine and had a plan to deal with this on my own without your help but my…” Dee took a breath clearly pissed off “My partner decided to do something completely stupid and go against my direct orders.” 

“No one’s doubting your strength.” Dean stated. Sam held back a chuckle.

“Good.” She smiled back at the older brother. “Anyways, there’s this coven of witches in the middle of no where, to be more specific somewhere in north of Wisconsin, that has been causing trouble for decades now. They… well this is a little hard to explain but since you guys are the Winchesters I’m sure you’ve heard weirder.”

“We probably have.” Sam said

“Yeah well… How do you know about us again?” Dean questioned.

“Not important-“ Dee tried to continue.

“I’m gonna have to ask again because if you want our help, your gonna need us to trust you at least a little. So how do you know about us so damn well?” 

“Fine, well I might not be a hunter but I keep myself very safe from people just as much as from the supernatural so I do talk to a few hunters here and there, I’ve knows about you for a while now… And well at this point I’m all out of other options so here we are.” Diane explained frustrated. “Good enough or do you need to see my ID and do a full background check as well?”

When neither brother bothered to answer she finally kept talking about why she was here. “These witches practice natural magic but in wicked ways. They are very close to performing a ceremony to create Life using the powers of the life crystals.”

“So you need our help to stop some type of witch breeding orgy?” Dean said.

“I will throw you back to the ground if you make me.” Dee snapped at Dean. She took a sip of her water again. Dean noticing and giving a look to his brother. After their quick silent conversation, Dean was a little relived that she passed the holy water test but still very confused and frustrated with the whole situation. 

“Using a very complicated, very dangerous, high magic spell they will essentially be creating a being with the same powers as God himself. It will have the ability to create and destroy life with the blink of an eye. They plan on using Life to rule the world, creating soldiers, and eliminating those who don’t agree. Pretty much recreating Earth their way.” Dee finally managed to say. “So I need you’re help to save the world from a very possible impending apocalypse.”

Dean looked at his brother. “Another damn apocalypse…” 

“An… Another one?” Dee asked.

“Yeah long story…” Dean said

“How come we’ve never heard about any of this before?” Sam asked Dee.

“I’m not sure. Well, this coven is extremely private and they are very good at keeping a low profile. They haven’t even really talked to any other people outside of the coven for about a century and haven’t done anything hunter worthy ever, until now.”

“Okay, then how do you know about it?” Sam asked suspicious.

“I’m from a small town in northern Wisconsin and I know of a lot of things you probably don’t know about”

“That’s not really an answer but okay… What can we do?” Dean decided not to fight it.

“Well we need to go there and stop them however possible, probably gonna need as many guns as you have. Even if that doesn’t do much against witches…”

“Witch killing bullets” Sam stated.

“Oh huh, cool! So yeah we need lots of those, and from what I know they have taken 6 people as sacrifices for this thing so we need to try to save them.” Dee said with an emotion Sam and Dean couldn’t quite place.

“Okay well do you know how much of a time crunch we’re in? Cuz I could use a few hours of sleep before going back out on the road.”

“Well as long as this place is truly safe then you’ve got time” she answered looking around the room.

“Your necklace, it looks so familiar for some reason.” Sam finally said the thought that had been bugging him since he first noticed the piece of jewelry. Dee rose a suspicious eyebrow to the taller brother.

“I don’t know…” Dee was awkwardl.

“Wait… Actually…” Sam paused, “Gimme a second” He got up from his chair and walked out of the room.

“Well… excuse my brother he’s a little weird sometimes.” Dean said. 

“I think you’re the one you should be excusing. You’ve got quite the bad attitude.” Dee said standing up looking around the room truly amazed by the bunker.

_

Sam finally came back into the library holding the mystery girls necklace which has a pendant with a similar symbol. He looked at it one more time before showing it to Dee.

“See it’s kind of far fetch but it’s similar right?” Sam said. Before he could even blink he was pushed to the floor in a choke hold.

“ Where the hell did you get this!” “Where is she!” “I was going to trust you fuckers!” Dee spazed. She was still choking Sam as Dean tried to go help his brother, but he was feeling weak. His arms and legs took more effort to move and when he reached his brother, Dee kicked him straight in the stomach sending him flying across the room. Dean smacked against the wall hard.

“We. We ca-. can ex…plain… just …. Can’t… breathe!” Sam tried unable to move out of the old woman’s grip. Man she was strong.

“You better!” She yelled grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him up to the chair, manhandling him surprisingly easily to sit in the chair Dean had been previously sitting at. “Where did you find this necklace!”

“We.. uh it’s a girls necklace..” Sam tried, voice still coarse.

“I know!” Dee yelled angrier then ever, “What did you two motherfuckers do to her!”

“We didn’t do anything!” Dean tried cautiously as he finally stood back up.

“Oh yeah! Well I see an obviously stolen necklace! You stupid boys obviously did something to her!”

“I’ll bring you to her.” Sam tried

“So you did take her!” She punched Sam straight across the face making him see stars.

“Wooah! We were only trying to help her” Dean tried to stop her. Dee turned to Dean and swung a punch causing him to duck. He tried to get another punch in but it barely left a mark. She through an uppercut to his chin causing him to lose his balance backwards. 

“The whole universe is against me isn’t it!!” She yelled. Dean finally caught himself and got himself back together.

“We only tried to help, she’s here, she’s unconscious. Come I’ll show her to you!” Dean said softly trying to get her fury away from his little brother who was still a little out of it because of the serious punch Diane had landed.

Diane looked at Dean unsure to trust him. She took a deep breath. “I’m following.” Dee answered still fuming, grasping the necklace tighter. Dean lead her to the room where the mystery girl lay asleep as his brother slowly followed. As soon as she got to the room, she ran to the girl’s side. She obviously knew her. Dean gave an uncertain look to his brother. Sam answered with a raise of his shoulders. Dee was holding the mystery girl’s hand admiring her.

“We found her in a dark cave near Overbrook, Nebraska” Dean said. Dee didn’t answer she just nodded. She let go of the girl’s hand and stroked the side of her pale face in awe. 

“It’s really her”

“You know her?” Dean asked, getting no response.

“She was invisible when we found her…” Sam tried to explain. Dee just smiled. Sam and Dean were both extremely confused at this turn of events but honestly anything is better than getting beat up by a scary strong grandma.

“We don’t know why she’s comatose or how to wake her up… We tried a few things but uh, nothing worked obviously…” Sam said slowly. Dee kept staring at the girl like she was seeing a unicorn or something. Slowly she put together what the brothers were saying.

“Did you put the necklace on her?” She asked a little bit tense.

“Uh no, I mean we broke it accidently.” Dean started.

“You broke it.” Sam added.

“Right. I broke the glass around the rock, so…” Dean was embarrassed but didn’t know what to say.

“Crystal.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a crystal. Not a rock.” Dee said looking the boys in the eyes. “More specifically it’s an amethyst” she added looking down at the girl. “She should wake up once the necklace is back on her.” She started unclasping the back of the necklace and bringing it to the mystery girl’s neck. Sam and Dean unconsciously both took a step closer to the bed curiously. She clasped the necklace back in place and carefully placed the purple crystal pendant on her chest. Diane moved her hand and took a small step back not once taking her eyes off her. After a few seconds of nothing Sam got impatient.

“Did it work?”

“Shhh…” Just as Dee shushed him, the girl’s breathing changed slightly. She took a deep breath and open her eyes wide, showing a purple glow. Sam and Dean both shocked stepped back again on high alert, Dean grabbing his gun. Dee on the other hand, smiled relieved. Sam looked at her perplexed. What the hell is she? The Winchesters have never encountered purple eyes like this before.

“Amethyst” Diane took a breath, finally something was going well for her. “Sister, I am so glad to  fina-” Dee said but was interrupted by a scream of terror coming from the girl on the bed.

Chapter 5

[dinoalexander]

The Semi Quotable 2017 Part 5

“applebee’s is literally begging to give away their food.” – Christine Teigen

“In the car w/husband, I offered $20 and a blowjob immediately if he could guess the official title. He did not win.” – @SteelyDanRather on the title announcement for Solo: A Star Wars Story

“280 tweets look like serial killer manifestos” – Scott Aukerman

“Dick Versace had two goals in 1989: guide the Pacers to the playoffs and beat Ricky Steamboat as many times as possible.” – Super 70’s Sports

“It’s D-Day and (Robert) Mueller secured the beaches before noon. Run Nazis.” – Mark Frost on the indictment of Michael Flynn

“The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi.” – Luke Skywalker

"The answer is either ass, boobs, or dick." -Jordan

"For the sake of salvaging whats left of the positions dignity for President of the United States...can someone in his staff please for the love of God delete Trumps twitter account? Its now gone from one of the most prestigious positions to "worlds most cringe worthy Twitter handle" in less than 6 months." -Steve

"Plague!!!!!!" -Block

"Donald Trump deals in bullshit the way a bovine fertilizer salesman deals in...well, bullshit." -C

"Sometimes you're the Galactic Empire, sometimes you're the Rebel Alliance." -Heather

"Leave it to us to make 'The Little Mermaid' SUPER awkward." -Q

"Ted Cruz...trippin'?" -Molly B

""Live your life in such a way that Donald Trump tweets mean things about you" -David K

"I remember reading so many posts immediately after the election from people who were absolutely terrified of what was going to happen once Trump was sworn in and Republicans controlled both houses of Congress. As evidenced by the fiasco that's unfolding with the health care bill, it should be clear that you folks had nothing to worry about. Even if they had some sort of nefarious purpose they were trying to carry out in their agenda, it seems as though these guys couldn't find their ass with both hands and a GPS." -Tim

“Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it's together. And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don't care what you do, you just gotta get it together. Get. Your shit. Together.” -Morty Smith (Justin Roiland)

"Alright, I'm now willing to admit there is a downside to everyone wearing yoga pants in public: I can't tell which of the adults milling about at the gym are here for adult gymnastics and which are just waiting to pick up their kids." -Pam

“Byron Allen’s got me all confused.” -me whenever “Happy” plays on the radio.

"A teacher in the school is selling Girl Scout cookies. The teacher got my order. In related news, someone's daughter is going to Camp Sugarbush this summer. Also in related news, after I eat these cookies, my nickname will be Sugarbush." -Klauss

“Like THAT’s safe!” -Michael, on Quisla’s... erm, safe.

"I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that people die of natural causes." -Rammson

"Donald Trump doesn't understand climate change because he lives in perpetual shade." -Laura

"A close friend referred to this before and after as Exponential Degredation. He said it and he's not taking it back." -The Perfesser

"This would be the equivalent of opening up a Cracker Jack box looking for the prize and seeing it in the bottom ox a box filled with sludge. There's some cool things but do you really want to go through the sludge?" -Gordon, on "Hip Hop Squares"

"You're not minimalist. You're broke." -some guy

"Okay, so we have watermelons.... why aren't there earthmelons or airmelons or firemelons? What happened to the rest of the elemelons?" -Emily Ann

“Thanks for making me confused about my sexuality, Adam Driver. You talented douche.” -Laura

"Unicorn Frappuccinos are what happens when you try and make too much of a good thing for profit. Its the answer to a question nobody asked. It's a Bar Rescue gone horribly wrong." -C

"(As Craig Ferguson) Now he used to be a wrestler and now he's going into politics. Now the two are highly different of course. One involves people with larger than life personalities who make grandiose claims and attack their opponents constantly and the other involves spandex tights." -Brian

"Dang it, PWC! Where were you in November? We could have had Emma Stone as President!" -Clint

“Feelings are real, but they are not reality.” -Dan Harmon

"It's like you've inherited a baby alligator. He was cute for awhile and now he's a big alligator who's threatening to destroy everything but still hangs around you and calls you daddy." -Gordon

"If one of those interchangeable Kardashian chicks dressed as a stewardess interrupted Sean Spicer's press conference by handing him a Pepsi, we as a nation could begin the healing process." -Kevin

"Opened Emma's recital costume and IT WAS COVERED IN GLITTER AND NOW I AM COVERED IN GLITTER AND EVERYTHING I OWN IS COVERED IN GLITTER OMG WHYYYYYYYYYYYY" -Molly B

"It's not terrible, but you can see terrible from where we're standing." -Q

"WHERE ARE MY PANTS!!!" -Michael

"Ladies and gentlemen, my sister, the one-woman Greek chorus." -C

"I have designated February 14 as 'Catch Pokémon, Not Feelings Day'." -J-Ho Boy-Type

"Because that's what ABC thought. This party needs more Lucy Hale." -C

"If I were Samsung I would make my keynote address one sentence. "Samsung galaxy S8… This one won't light itself on fire"." -Brian

"We are not going to let another demon monster take hold and grown and run wild. We are going to nip this problem in the bud. WE ARE GOING TO KILL HITLER AS A BABY!" -Q

"To quote the great Panamanian philosopher Roberto Durán, 'No más'." -C

"I broke my banana." -Q, re: an actual banana.

"Los Angeles has two football teams, two baseball teams, two basketball teams, and two hockey teams, but no curling teams?" -Kevin

"I have to wait for the Luther breakdown to finish!" -C

“Ugh. I really wish I had something cool to say.” -Johnny Yong Bosch

"Less Donald Trump! More techno music!" -bus random to a Bop It!

"Someone told me that being verified on Twitter “really doesn’t do anything” but that person is 1) wrong and 2) head of a social media dept." -Cory

"How did you know Carolina was going to beat Duke?" -Q

"Quisla... its U.N. motherfucking C. They handle shit. Consider this shit handled." -C

"my most-recent counseling appointment had me reaching the following conclusion: i fully acknowledge that i am a jackass, and my attempts at keeping myself from being a jackass has stifled what people like in me as a consequence of not wanting others to think badly of me. so what am i to do? just be a jackass and shoulder the consequences no matter when and where it happens? not entirely -- if i am to have my moments of jackassery, i will make better efforts to steer those spells towards being a jackass for the right reasons. sometimes it takes a jackass christian speaking up when someone claims to be a christian but whose words and actions are far from the basic command of 'love one another.' sometimes fighting for the weak and powerless means being a jackass towards the mighty and powerful. sometimes only an absolute jackass would punch a nazi in the face. i'm josh eldridge. i am a jackass. i hope this admission doesn't effect our friendship." -Josh

“Kylo Ren is like a sullen, resentful jungle gym.” -Laura

"I'm going to make a screwdriver because it's cold as shit outside." -Shelly

“I’m Regis Philbin! Welcome to night 24 of Who Wants To Get Impregnated?” -Jordan

"I just can't girl right." -Shannon

"Our long national pasttime is over." -Jessica, on overlong baseball games

"You may have a problem if the Target cashier recognizes you, knows you by name, and asks if everything was good because you didn't come in on your 'normal' day. Yay! I'm a regular!" -Aryn

"I read my bed all the time! It's a Serta!" -Kitty Carrion

"Does Baby Jojo need a binky?" -C

"I sense a great migraine in the Force...as if millions of white people were trying to get woke at the same time." -Laura

"Well the inauguration is over, finally after two years we can all get back to normal and... *boots up facebook* ...and I'm going to stay off Facebook until January of 2021, cheers 🙂" -Brian

"What fruit is the state of Georgia famous for? ... Todd Chrisley." -C, at quiz night

"So, apparently as an instructor, referring to the start of a new semester as "hazing" is frowned upon." -Heather

“2017 in a nutshell: You see “Mario Batalli :(“ as a Facebook status and you say to yourself, “Dead or pervert?”” -Adam

"Fun fact: staying sane is hard." -Jordan

"If I performed my job with the same razor-sharp precision with which meteorologists perform theirs:

Boss: Is this the data you promised me three weeks ago? Because it looks like completely wrong information.

Me: Yeah, but, as you can see, I've color-coded it in lovely hues of blue, purple and pink where I thought it would make it look nice.

Boss: Yep. Looks great! Keep up the good work.

I am clearly in the wrong profession." -Molly B

"😂😂😂 if I was meant to behave, I wouldn't have been born so good at misbehaving 😛" -Emily Ann

"Seen on a group page tonight:

Everything Kirk Cameron touches turns to patriarchy." -Shrub

"In other news, 30 oz of ribeye can be converted to 0 if you just believe in yourself." -Justin S

"Bacteria gets me so hard." -Jordan

"Oh REALLY..." -Q, reaching for Jordan's pants

"Who here loves animals but hates that Sarah Maclachlan commercial?" -Sweet Tea Shakespeare guy

“Hey... I run them miles. I’m slow as fuck, but I run them miles.” -C

"Trying to stay positive in a world full of assholes is like trying to shovel hot jello from a wheel barrow using a pitch fork with only one prong!" -Sheila

"If there's one thing I learned in college, it's: never underestimate the power of an icy, cold shower beer. Thanks guys!" -Dahlia

"No, no, no. I can't have penises all over my car tonight. Tomorrow night, maybe, but no penises tonight." -Nicole W

"Maybe for Lent Trump should just give up." -George Takei

"She wanted someone to take the pickle, so I did." -C

"Too... many... JOKES!" -Brian

"Saw the Barca result. Ah, so that is why folks riot." -Steve P

“I can’t have weird Chico. I live with him.” -Q

"Yay sports! Spoooooooorts!" -Milana Vayntrub

"You're at a bar. Playing bar trivia. Against an IQA ranked quizzer and his sister who would also be IQA ranked if she made the trip to Raleigh with me that morning. We are naturally expressive people within our family. That comes from being the children of Carlos and Olivia Alexander. We laugh together, we love together, we cook, fight, and emote together. And when we win, we emote like hell. If you don't like it when we win, next time bring smarter friends. Until then, get the fuck over it." -the son of Carlos & Olivia Alexander.

"This is my face when I find out some epically old karma has been served." -Shannon

Okay, one more oughta do it.