#mother mary i have many things to say
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I apologise to the Zelda people but I have many thoughts and feelings about Mr Jash and I must throw art about it into the world. Zelda will return shortly, if not by the end of the month when TotK is released. Until then, just look at my funky designs without context and hear my unfiltered screaming about lore and memes for a bit
#i am the opposite of chonny for i function through digital numbers#it feeds my need for validation please and thank you#mother mary i have many things to say#he is indeed a very cool musician and deserves 'funniest man to ever' award after that q&a#also i despise tiktok and will not be opening any comment sections w his music in bc there is always the wildest most weird takes#like yes it's fine if the style don't suit your fancy but don't shit on chonny as a guy that's such a dick move#the amount of ppl on tiktok who just insult him unprovoked is actually so weird coz they just bring him up negatively on tally hall tiktoks#chonny haters are like a disease istg like no one asked you to comment on how he looks or how his voice sounds jfc#tbf tiktok is a disease in itself the haters just found a place where their bullshit would be tolerated coz twitter is off limits#most of his fan base is on twitter rn#yea i've had some odd encounters can you tell?
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one of the reasons i like kate chopin so much, especially through a catholic lens, is that one of her main themes is that there are so many ways to be a woman. there are so many ways to be a mother. there are so many ways to be a wife. there are so many ways to be the person God wants you to be. don't let anyone tell you who you should be. don't let anyone make unrealistic demands on your heart. don't let them kill you. don't let them get you down. they don't know you. they don't need to. you know you. do what God put you here for. he is asking you for right now. that's all you need to give to be the person you're meant to be.
#kate chopin#i LOVE her sm#i just had a long conversation with one of my friends about what it means to be a woman and the struggle of motherhood and schooling#and CATHOLIC SOCIETY#placing unrealistic expectations on womanhood and motherhood#sometimes a girl just wants to have a job and be a mom at the same time.#my friend does#catholic things#there are many benefits to attending a catholic college#also unrelated you're not gonna find this interpretation of Chopin like. anywhere. im gonna be one of the first critics to say this i think#yay#mary as our model#but there are so many ways to be like our mother#so many ways
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i have so many things to say about the new fhjy episode, but i find it so funny that Jace spent a portion of this battle trying to keep his 6 children under control 😭
“Buddy, Bacarath isn’t real!”
Mary Ann tugging Jace’s shirt numerous times to tell him she doesn’t feel good
Jace you single mother, you need a vacation..
#dimension 20#fantasy high#d20#dimension20#brennan lee mulligan#d20 fantasy high#d20 fhsy#d20 fhjy#fhjy#d20 fhfy#fhjy spoilers#fantasy high junior year spoilers#fantasy high junior year#jace stardiamond#the rat grinders#trg#mary ann skuttle#buddy dawn
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Hey. Hi. Hello. Today I learned about the existence of 15th century Welsh poet Gwerful Mechain and that she apparently has a surviving work of erotic poems.
Please. For Christmas. For Yule. Please tell me more because I can't read Welsh.
Heh heh. Oh, Gwerful Mechain is the absolute best.
(Quick housekeeping to keep the post manageable - I previously wrote about things like cynghanedd and cywydds and englyns and such here, so check that if you need an explanation.)
What's fun is that we don't know a ton about her, because not a lot got written down about people in her time. Her surviving work covers a 40ish year span at the end of the 1400s to just into the 1500s, but we don't know when she was born or died or anything like that. We know her parents' names? And that she was from Mechain, hence the bardic name. And that she married a guy and had a daughter, something which actually does mark out her body of work as different from her contemporaries; being a wife and mother, she couldn't do the usual bardic role of travelling the country to spread news and play at courts. This means she doesn't have any of the praise poetry that a lot of male bards produced about the lords that hosted them.
But, there's stuff we can piece together about her. For one thing, she was not just literate (not a universal skill for anyone at that point, but especially for women), but she was astonishingly well-read and had what appears to be a classical education, given her poetic references and traditional Welsh meters. For another, her work often had recurring themes of religion, sex, and women's rights, sometimes all at the same time.
At the point Gwerful was active, Welsh bardic culture heavily featured ymrysonau. An ymryson is like... well, I hesitate to say "sort of like a rap battle" after the way everyone and their dog now thinks that's what the Mari Lwyd does, but they were like a cross between a rap battle and the publication war between two rival academics. A bard would write an englyn and publish it in the local parish newsletter. Another bard would see this, and write their own englyn about how stupid the first bard's englyn was, and publish it in the same newsletter. The first bard would see this and retaliate. The second bard would retaliate to that. And on and on it would go, like a printed tennis match for all the parishioners to enjoy, until someone wrote a conclusive verse OR until someone went "Lol, you got me good there" and bowed out with dignity. Sometimes, these things were fucking vicious; but other times, they were just banter between two bards who knew each other and were enjoying the chance to keep their poetic skills in tip top condition.
Now, Gwerful was an active and enthusiastic participant in ymrysonau. We have many examples of her work from these. There are two of particular note that I'll list here, each against a different bard:
Dafydd Llwyd o Fathafarn. Mathafarn and Mechain are not so distant from one another, so no real surprise that these two locked horns a lot, but the impression I always got from their ymrysonau is that they were good mates, actually. These fell into the 'banter' category more often than not. Dafydd was a Welsh Nationalist who was hoping for a Welshman to rise up and throw off the yoke of English oppression, and most of his work is about that, but he turned up the filthy erotic shit for any ymryson with Gwerful because BOY HOWDY was that her specialty. IIRC she did occasionally poke fun at his Welsh Nash leanings, especially his obsession with Mab Darogan (OLD Welsh idea that translates to the Son of Prophesy - the Arthur-style figure that will one day drive out the English overlords), but mostly their ymrysonau were incredibly beautifully-written odes that could be summed up as "Dafydd, my man, my good friend, I mean this sincerely: suck my entire clit".
She often won.
Ieuan Dyfi. God, what a fucking asshole. This one was not banter. Gwerful played for blood with this prick.
We actually would know nothing about Ieuan Dyfi if not for Gwerful Mechain, because it was her poetic response to him that meant his only surviving poems made it to the modern day; that, and the record of him being brought before a church court where he admitted adultery with Anni Goch, a married woman. Oh, and the record of him being brought before the law courts at Liverpool, accused of domestic abuse and gambling? If I remember right?
Two things to know that set the scene for what came next:
One of Gwerful Mechain's surviving poems is an englyn considered to be possibly the oldest extant poem about domestic violence written by a woman: I’w gŵr am ei churo (To the husband who beats her)
Dager drwy goler dy galon - ar osgo I asgwrn dy ddwyfron; Dy lin a dyr, dy law’n don, A’th gleddau i’th goluddion.
There are a lot of translations for this one to try to keep its poeticness, but this one is pretty good:
Through your heart’s lining let there be pressed, slanting down, A dagger to the bone in your chest. Your knee smashed, your hand crushed, may the rest Be gutted by the sword you possessed.
She has others, too, that deal with sexual assault, and something scholars often note about Gwerful is her remarkable knowledge of the law as it pertained to women's issues. So she was not, you see, a woman with a high view of a man accused of domestic violence anyway.
But then Ieuan Dyfi wrote five poems about Anni Goch, the married woman he'd fucked, each more "Wow dude, she said no" than the last, culminating in I Anni Goch; a full cywydd of misogynistic Medieval-incel bullshit about how false and evil women are, which listed all the false and evil women of history including classical and mythological figures.
And. Well. Gwerful had some views.
Her responding cywydd - I ateb Ieuan Dyfi am gywydd Anni Goch - basically blasted the guy back into his own impact crater and disintegrated him. What she did with it, essentially, was to mirror his cywydd. Where he'd gone "Isn't it so true how great men throughout history have always been brought low by women, amirite lads? Here's examples", Gwerful went "Isn't it so true how 'great men' throughout history have behaved appallingly and fucked up through their own actions and then somehow managed to blame women, amirite lads? Here's examples." Where his examples had been historical figures, so were hers. Where his had been classical, so were hers. Where he went Biblical, so did she.
And what's so interesting about that last one is how pointed she was with it - for some reason, in his big list of evil women, Ieuan Dyfi did not go for the most obvious and low-hanging of fruit (no pun intended) - he doesn't cite Eve. In response, Gwerful also sidesteps the most obvious and low hanging of fruit - she doesn't cite Mary. In so doing, she makes it clear that she doesn't even need to.
There is no record of him responding to her. IIRC, there is a record of him doing three years in prison.
But! Outside of all of that, the big thing Gwerful was known for was her erotic poetry. You'll be unsurprised to hear that it wasn't written for shits and giggles - much like today, women of the time were told that most of their value was in their looks, and they had plentiful insecurities about their bodies. Gwerful wrote her erotic stuff to confront those insecurities and shine a light on the issue. There are so many examples of this, but far and away the most famous is definitely Cywydd y Cedor - roughly translated, 'Ode to the Vulva'. Though I have also seen it titled Cywydd y Gont - Ode to the Cunt. It's such a shame that the English language is literally, physically not capable of cynghanedd, because it means unless you learn Welsh you will never understand the beauty and the lyricism of the piece, and how it elevates and undercuts the content at the same time; but it's a joyful, masterful, irreverent work that uses the fancy language male poets were forever dedicating to the rest of a woman's body and applies it squarely to the vulva. In fact it basically opens with "Men are cowards, describe more cunts or gtfo" before launching into its main subject matter. The last line is pro-pubic hair, too, like I really must stress how much Gwerful Mechain would have to offer Tumblr if you could speak Welsh. This is probably her most widely translated piece, though, you can definitely find English versions. Although you can tell how blushing and reticent the translator is - and therefore how sanitised their translation is - by whether they've called it Ode to the Vulva/Cunt, or Ode to the Pubic Hair.
Needless to say, the original is not sanitised.
(Actually, I should also say - this one is also a response piece, probably, but in this case to a bard who lived a century earlier - Dafydd ap Gwilym, the absolutely legendary and uncontested king of Welsh romance poetry. He wrote a poem called Cywydd y Gal - Ode to the Penis. I have only just put two and two together on that.)
As a final note, I should say that my personal favourite Gwerful Mechain poem on this subject, mind, is actually I'w morwyn wrth gachu - to the maiden who is shitting. It's an englyn written in Gwerful's customary high poetic form, but it is what it says - it describes a woman taking a shit, and farting as she does. Beautiful and magical and disgusting and banal, all in one go:
Crwciodd lle dihangodd ei dŵr - ’n grychiast O grochan ei llawdwr; Ei deudwll oedd yn dadwr’, Baw a ddaeth, a bwa o ddŵr
Funnily enough, it's hard to find a good translation for this one lol.
My attempt:
She crouched where her water escaped - creased From the cauldron of her heat; Her two holes were arguing, Shit came, and a bow of water
Eh. It's so bland in English. Honestly, if you could read Welsh...
Anyway, if anyone reading this can read Welsh and wants to read some of Gwerful Mechain's stuff - including some of the pieces she was responding to in the ymrysonau - you can find a load here. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed!
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Lantern Corps and a 10 year old Child
In a last post, I said the Lantern Corps would love Captain Marvel because he’s omni-lingual (and there’s so many different species so it makes sense that they would feel comfertable around a guy who can speak their mother tongue, no matter how obscure it is).
And then it came to me in a glorious vision, the Cores would LOVE or absolute HATE Billy Batson, be it as a kid it as Captain Marvel.
First on the Love Captain spectrum:
Red Lantern: that’s the corps that’s the most insistent. Man’s fights littéral Wrath and demons alike on a weekly basis. Man’s go to weekly poker night with Satan and other Wardens of Hell. Why? Because he has his own prison dimension in th Rock of Eternity, who also holds the strongest demons.
Yellow Lanterns: as champion of magic, he holds a lot of weight. Especially for magic users. One flick of a wrist and boom, your magic is gone. The whole concept of ‘The Champion’ is enough for most to fear him. That and one does not play poker with The Devil from The Bible and other figures from various religions, and just have a normal presence. He’s terrifying when he wants to be. In his Cap form, he needs to actively tamp down to appear more family friendly, and not the eldricht horror he knows he could easily look like.
Green Lanterns: Homeless Child Superhero dealing with horrors must adults can’t handle. That takes willpower. Even before Captain, I’m pretty sure off willpower alone he could qualify. But what’s the real ringer is his imagination. The Rock of Eternity has access to magical dimensions that no amount of crack could dream up. Man’s had to learn how to use Looney Toones Logic irl and it works. Man’s got a while Disney Dimension with Ballerina Hippos with their Croc partners. Mans has debates about files with littéral walking talking dinosaurs. Billy is hella creative, and who knows what would be made with a ring.
Blue Lanterns: do I … do I need to explain? There are the lantern corps of Hope, I think the rest is pretty self explanatory. I will say though, he was close to accepting when he found out they got a Corgi. Even closer when Dex Starr, the red lanterns cat got a
Orange Lantern: bro fights the physical manifestations of the Seven Deadly Sins , including Greed on a regular basis. By right of conquest, he really should be wearing the ring rn. They be trying to put a ring on it for ages.
Black Lanterns: he once revived Freddy and or Mary by reconnecting them to the rock, and since then is considered a ‘nécromancer’. Also (similar to the Avatar State) he has memories of past champions, including death, so one can argue he’s in a life and death loop.
White lanterns: same reasons as the Black Lanterns. They’ve been trying to get Billy to also out-do said Black Lanterns (who in turn try to recruit him some more). It’s just one vicious snowball effect now.
Now for the Hate Captain spectrum:
Star Sapphire Corps: The thing about Billy is that he’s AroAce. Very Aro and Very Ace. So those who draw power from love and try to flirt are met with the disgusted face of someone who’s famously nice. It was a devastating blow to the whole corps. At some point Hal decided to hide behind Cap to escape another Star Sapphire who fell inlove with him, and they just, lost their power. No longer had the ability to fly and everything. He’s Ace-ness is crippling. And it did bring memes. The Ace community was winning.
Indigo Tribe: he’s too autistic for them. And while being the warden of multiple dangerous beings fits their MO and all, they ain’t touching the bullshit magical logic with a ten foot pole. That, and the first time a ring was sent to him to recruit him to keep the evil ones in line, he roasted their whole system, their ugly ass uniforms (that particular shade of indigo clashed with his Hero Outfit way to much) and ended with a comparison to them with a guy called ‘King Kid’ and the fucking ‘Easter Bunny King’ that somehow did a much better job at Machiavellic while also being uhly. They never sent a second one. The red lanterns sent more.
Ultraviolet lanterns: again, man’s fights the Seven Sins on the regular, is their warden along with other sick evils, lies to the Justice League on the regular and plays poker with Demons (and wins) despite being one of the most honest people there is. That and he’s so dad shaped, it counters their power of daddy issues.
Bonuse:
It’s not uncommon for various JL members to receive lantern rings. They just don’t want to. So the standard procedure is to find your local lantern, and give them rings. At some point all the Corps made a lantern offers chart (and maybe the JL got a bit competitive).
Problem, that screen was using old alien tech that didn’t have colour. So they knew Cap had the most lantern offers, but they didn’t know which colours. Until it got fixed.
J’le looking at the rainbow that’s Captain Marvels Ring List: …
Batman: Captain, why is there so many red ones?
Billy, sweating: …
Hal, not comfy with the amount of yellow: I… I need to make a few phone calls.
John, the one who’s been receiving all of his rings: Uh, don’t remind me. I’ve been getting cramps with the amount of times I had to input the different colours.
Dinah: I don’t think even I’m qualified for the amount of therapy everyone is going to need.
WonderWoman: How to you have Negative Pink Rings??? You can’t get a negative number in a list
Billy, inputing the Zeta Tube: haha, it’s so weird
John: … do I need to add AroAce as a weakness for the Sapphires???
Bonus points if the results are open to the galactic public, and just wonder who tf are and ‘Billy Batson’ and Captain Marvel and why they are dominating the top ranks. What is in the Terra city Fawcette.
Extra Bonus Point if the JL go: Who tf is Billy Batson, and why is he ranked above Captain Marvel.
I’ve been waiting to do this one for a while. But never got the motivation. Let me know if I missed any, and feel free to write fanfic (please tag me if you do, I wanna reeeeead).
Final note, I want to give a certain someone a comment of appreciation.
@wonderjanga you are my favourite person on this app. You are the reason I decided to get out of my procrastination slump. Thank you for you content, it’s always so creative and I deeply enjoy it.
For those who don’t know them, I recommend checking out their content. It’s genuinely inspiration for me to start writing again. I don’t think I’ll be writing on ao3 soon, but maybe one day.
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Marvel Lying
One day, Billy realizes he can just lie. To press, to the JL (only when they really ask about his identity), and to world. And the best part is that almost no one can prove him wrong, because what’s Black Adam or someone else going to do? Prove him wrong? (I kinda already talked about this but meh) Like here’s something I can see Billy maybe doing because one time and one time alone, a reporter asked and he quotes:
Reporter: “Captain, I’m sure many people are speculating, and I’m sure it’s a question asked often, but who is your Missus Marvel?” *holds mic to Billy’s face*
Marvel: “…Huh?” *Has confused expression* “Can you repeat that?”
Reporter: “Who is your Missus Marvel?”
Marvel: “Uh… Ma’am, there is no—” *Does air quotes* “—Missus Marvel.”
Reporter: “Then who is the mother of Captain Marvel Junior and Mary Marvel?”
Marvel: “Uuuuh… Me? Technically? They’re both made from parts of me, but not parts *gestures to his lower region* of me, no.” *He shook his head.* “If I remember correctly Mary was made about 10000 years ago when one of my arms were chopped off. (He’s lying through his teeth right now. The only reason he hasn’t been caught is because of Achilles allowing him to bullshit his was through without blinking.)
Reporter: “I- I see.” *stunned*
Marvel: “And then Junior’s a…” *snorts* “…leg.” *Muffles a laugh into his hand not realizing no one will get his joke besides Freddy and Mary*
Reporter: *confused by Billy laughing but doesn’t say anything* “Interesting… Are Mary Marvel and Marvel Junior your only children? Spawn? Wards?”
Marvel: “Oh, yeah. I could more though. Like, watch this.” *Literally breaks off his ring finger, splintering the bone and everything without a single flinch. Then drops the finger on the ground and it morphs into what looks like a four year old Marvel. Billy picks him up and holds him like a parent would their toddler.* “It’s super easy.” *He’s even doing the slight bouncing that parents do when they hold their kids.* “But I don’t know… now that I’m holding this one, I’m starting to get attached. We might keep him.” *looks down at the mini Marvel, who in turn looks back at him.*
Reporter: *still horrified she watched a man, if he even is one, snap one of his fingers off like nothing. Said man’s finger nub is also still exposed to the world in all its disgusting glory. Safe to say she’s looking a little green* “O- Oh really?”
Marvel: *moves Mini Marvel around in his grip, and then suddenly throws the toddler like a paper airplane. Thankfully, instead of falling on the ground and splattering like meat pie, Mini Marvel takes to the skies is flying over the nearby crowd and such. Marvel turns back to the reporter.* “Yeah, but before that happens, he’ll have to develop a consciousness and personality. It took a bit for Mary and Junior to develop their own. Now they have their own likes, dislikes, and feelings. Who knows how long it’ll take the little guy.” (Again, he’s bullshitting this completely. He’s mishmashing Solomon’s wisdom on golems with things he makes up on the fly)
Reporter: “That’s… amazing.” *looks greener now. Looks to cameraman and motions for him to cut the feed. As soon as he does, her hand moves to her mouth.* “Oh my god, I’m going to be sick.” *runs over to nearest trashcan*
Marvel: “I guess that’s my cue to leave.” *starts to float off the ground* “Thanks for having me, miss!” *Marvel then whistles and Mini Marvel immediately stops entertaining the crowd and flies over to Billy and they fly off into the sunset.*
Elsewhere… Mary’s working an odd job for some money when she sees a tv on the news channel. She nearly has a heart attack because for three brief seconds she thought her dad was holding a young Billy in his arms like he used to. Then she blinked a couple times and realized it was just Billy as Marvel with four year old dressed like him. Fawcett kids really love Captain Marvel, huh?
(Oh yeah, and as for how he made Mini Marvel, he’s my hypothesis. When he broke off his finger, he destabilized its form and it reverted back to a part of living lightning for a brief couple of moments. Then, in an effort to not return back to the rock, as it could sense part of itself still nearby, it stabilized itself once more and forced itself to take the form of a miniature Marvel) (and if anyone makes sense of that, I’ll be darned)
#billy batson#captain marvel dc#dc captain marvel#fawcett#fawcett city#fawcett comics#shazam#mary bromfield#mary batson#freddy freeman#reporter
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There is just so much dissonance in seeing the world light up around me, while knowing that there are thousands of people in Gaza who won't be able to celebrate the New Year. There is nothing to celebrate when you are living in a tent and have to spend the cold winter nights out in the open, there is no joy when you and your loved ones have not had a proper meal in almost a year. I have been talking to my friend Alaa Amsse ( @alaa-mari-hamza ) and she said that her little children, Maria and Hamza, are very fond of chocolates and possibly during the New Year's Eve, she would have bought them some sort of treat to celebrate. But right now, when people cannot even buy sugar, a piece of chocolate is a luxury. This is not how Alaa ever imagined her children's life would be. No one in Gaza ever imagined living under an accelerated genocide.
I have no words left to say. There is no way to repeat the same things over and over again to however many people who maybe following the tags here. I only request you to keep talking about Palestine; to keep boycotting, and protesting and please, please keep boosting and donating to Alaa.
Verification by @/90-ghost
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Before I start, I just want to say thank you to the husbands, brothers, and fathers who voted to support their daughters, sisters, and wives. What I'm about to say doesn't include you.
To the women who voted for Trump, you are a disgrace. Thanks to you, your children and grandchildren will be forced to fight the war that was won by your grandmothers.
You sit content and joyful while others mourn. You laugh in the face of their fears when there's a knife floating above your head poised to fall. You have no idea what's coming, but any woman with half a braincell does.
Let me tell you a story. My great aunt was basically my grandmother. She was born in the 1930s in Spain. Right after their revolution. Right after Spain became a dictatorship. She told me so many stories in her final years that I'll keep with me for the rest of my life. But I'll give one example.
One of her closest friends married young. Her husband claimed she was unfaithful and literally beat her to death. He was never arrested. He was never convinced. He walked away free and remarried in less than a month. Catholicism wouldn't allow divorce back then. He wanted to get remarried and simply got away with it because he was a cop. Franco gave cops full impunity. So does Project 2025.
I know some people reading this are rolling their eyes, and you know what?
Fuck. You. You are trash.
That girl was murdered at 20, and her killer walked free after openingly admitting it. My Tia never told me her name, but she carried her in her heart until the day she died at 98. And so do I.
To my fellow women who are mourning and scared right now, I'll give you the same advice my mother gave me. "Have your cry. Then get up and get things done. You're strong enough not to have this break you."
You are Mary and Esther. You are Caterina Sforza. You are Princess Diana. You are Anna May Wong. You are the living legacy of every woman who has come before you. You carry their strength, their courage, and their determination.
This shit is going to suck. Pure and simple. But we'll do what we've always done. We'll bite and claw our way to a better future. We'll tear down every obstacle so our children and grandchildren will have an easier path to walk.
We are dragons in human form. Steel your heart and give them nothing. Do not give them your affection, your care, or your bodies. Fuck being demure and mindful. When they spew hate, you spit fire. When they ask for your smile, you give them your fangs. Become a walking inferno that they have no choice but to take note of. Do not yield.
You are powerful, and you are not alone. You are a sister in a coven that is millions strong. You are the daughters of the witches they couldn't burn.
To my fellow Millennials. I know you're tired. Our young adult lives were stolen from us, and we've been struggling uphill ever since. But do what the previous generation never did for us. Fight. Fight for the ones that are entering adulthood. Fight for the children who have no idea what they're about to grow into.
They called us snowflakes for pointing out their flaws. Fine. Let's give them a fucking blizzard. If they try to build momentum, we stop them. We are at the age where we need to be both shield and anchor. Let. Nothing. Pass.
We're about to face an orange shitstorm of epic proportions. But we'll do as we've always done. We fight, we endure, and we win. In the words of Samwise Gamgee, "There's good in this world, and it's worth fighting for."
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Imagination was always considered the opposite of reality, we learnt to distinguish the two at a young age. Even though imagination and reality are really twins of different faces in the same coin, made from the same flame. Say, we use the limited logic this world has taught us; even imagination is the mother of creations, and this is most likely because someone had to envision how to make an air conditioner. The only thing that comes before imagination is consciousness, which is something you and I both have, and it’s a tool that’s not utilized as often.
Philosopher Mary Shepherd emphasized on the idea that there must be a start to everything, a sudden movement in nothingness before something can truly “exist”. Which is a vague point but really, it made sense in this context – imagination is the start to everything. Just by painting a picture in your head, it breathes life into the knowledge that your imagination exists in another realm. If we combine that with the law of assumption, it makes an incredibly powerful mixing pot. What exists in your mind can and will reflect into physicality, the self is the first movement and starting of an existence, but only if you allow it.
Lack is an illusion but it is there to help you realize what you want, therefore is the first act into actual manifestation. When you stop perceiving lack as something negative, you’ll start to observe it as a beneficialness, thus you won’t put it on a pedestal. Unfortunate circumstances can be bent to our will, if we so much as imagine that we’re living a completely different life. Neville had to experience yearning for return, for him to realize that he didn’t want to fight in the war.
Lack → Realization → Imagination → “Reality”
In Law of Assumption and Dualism, the mind and body are two separate matters that can be distinguishable. Emotions do not affect the process of manifestation, it can influence imaginations but with little effect, unless you (the self, the soul) allows yourself to be caged in your own body. This is why many loa bloggers tell you that it is okay to feel negative emotions, as long as you don’t let it dictate what your reality looks like. Stick to the inner-self perception of reality and keep persisting till the birth of physicality. It doesn’t matter what the body senses and sees, it is no longer your reality, a completely separate nature. Although do what you must while also keep sticking to the inner reality.
With such an incredible tool in your possession, why not cultivate it?
#loa blog#loa tumblr#loassumption#law of assumption#void state#manifesation#neville goddard#reality shifting#shifting blog#shifting community
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GRUMPY - alessia russo x child!reader
grumpy masterlist
people always liked to comment on the fact that they could tell you were alessia's daughter, not because of the obvious reason of the fact that you looked like your mother but for the way you were a ray of sunshine, always a smile on your face and always giggling away at the smallest of things.
however today you were being the total opposite and nothing anyone seemed to do could cheer you up, not even grace could get a smile from you by pulling funny faces at you or beth telling you silly jokes.
you were just being grumpy but that came with a good reason.
you had spent all of yesterday travelling, from london to st george's park and then to marbella meaning that with all the excitement of seeing your aunties after a few months and then the excitement that followed from going on a plane and being in a new place meant you were no rush in wanting to have your usual nap much to your mum's distaste.
she thought you would have crashed out early however that was not the case, you had eventually fallen asleep but after many attempts of putting you down to sleep. you waking up a few times before falling into a deep sleep.
and then this morning you had woken up earlier than what alessia was expecting and your tiredness from yesterday had carried through to today and alessia knew she was in for a hell of a day.
"lovie, you need to eat your breakfast!" mummy said as she pushed your plate back in front of you for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 10 minutes.
"no" you said, arms held across your chest turning your head away from the plate. a hand pushing away the plate away once again.
"if you eat just half of your toast, then we can go in the pool with the flamingo floaty" ella smiled hoping that may try to persuade you as all last night it was all you talked about however you didn't budge only moving your head further away from ella.
"y/n, don't do that, it's rude!" alessia scolded as you moved your head back to where it was however your arms stayed present on your chest and the scowl remained on your face.
georgia then came along with lucy and keira and they both tried there best to cheer you up, as alessia sighed head hitting the wall behind her. "less don't worry she's just overly tired, just after lunch put her down for a nap" mary smiled squeezing the blondes shoulders in reassurance as the blonde nodded.
"i should have just made her go for her nap on the plane yesterday"
"no, you just didn't want to ruin her fun and excitement yesterday" mary said as she bumped her shoulder into alessia's as her head turned back to you as you were now beginning to fuss, throwing your arms around and kicking your legs against the high chair you were sat in.
"hey, hey, stop that. remember we don't hit, it's not very kind. say sorry to auntie lucy" your mum said lifting you out of the high chair and facing you towards lucy as she caught you lifting your hands to lucy.
"sorry lucy" you said a frown now appearing on your face as lucy smiled, "it's okay kiddo, we just wanna see your cute little smile, not that sad little frown" she said tickling you under your chin a little.
everyone was beginning to file out of breakfast and you were sat on chair your mum had sat you on while she put everything you needed into your small backpack which went pretty much everywhere will you.
“come on then lovie” your mum smiled holding out her hand for you to grab as she had her training bag and your backpack in her other hand, but instead of bursting up in a ball of energy like you usually would - you didn’t move a muscle.
staying exactly where you had been sat for the past five minutes. you didn’t even make an effort to move. “we need to go, everyone’s gonna beat us there!” the blonde tried, knowing that even though you were small you were very competitive, you didn’t like to loose. alessia had her brothers to thank for that.
“no” you said simply, alessia sighed having enough of trying to bargain with you and instead just gave up and walked over to where you were sat, picking you up so you were sat on her hip as she walked a little faster trying to catch up with the rest of the girls.
“what do we have to do to cheer you up today?” alessia asked as you rested your head on her shoulder and hummed.
since you hadn't ate much of your breakfast, alessia sat you down in the shade away from the hot sun of marbella but still so that you were within close proximity of her with a fruit pot and some colouring to do as well as some of your toys. after lathering you in factor 50 sun screen and making sure she had put put your pink bucket hat on your head.
"right mummy's gonna go and train now, if you need anything shout me over or ask one of the trainers to get me, okay?" alessia told you as she sat you down on the your blanket, you nodded reaching out to grab your green pencils.
"i'll be back soon to check on you, i love you" she cooed kissing you on the forehead as a small smile quickly came but as quick as it came it left. "love you mummy" you said quietly but still loud enough that alessia heard you, as she walked off to sit next to ella and put her football boots on.
training had never felt so long, you had quickly gotten bored of your animal colouring in sheets and everytime your mummy was sitting on the sidelines during the small sided games you were tucked away in her arms.
when alessia was due to play in the small sided games she would take you back to your little play area she had set up for you and jog back to play in the training game and then the cycle repeated every time you saw her sat down on the sidelines you were in her arms.
finally when training was over you were stood next to your mummy clinging onto her leg as she spoke with millie and maya. "what's happened to our little giggle box?" millie asked as she looked down at you.
"she's a little grumpy today" alessia sighed picking you up and placing you on her hip. "grumpy? well we can't be having that!" maya said as the four of you began to walk back into the hotel for lunch.
"she's going to have something to eat and then it's nap time!" your mummy said as you whined, "no! me not tried" you frown, pushing your head further into her shoulder.
"oh, of course your not!" your mummy chuckled along with millie and maya.
“well i hope grumpy turns happy because otherwise who is gonna cheer us on, on friday?” millie said as she looked at you, the little pout that had been on your face all day growing deeper.
“oh yeah we’ll have to see if georgia will help you practise your chants again” your mum said, knowing that you and georgia would sit usually for a while going through each players chant and sometimes making your own up even if sometimes they never made any sense— they did to you.
“oh that’ll be fun won’t it, y/n!” maya smiled as you groaned and moved your head so that your face was no longer visible to millie and maya by tucking it into your mummy’s neck.
“definitely needs a nap” the blonde whispered however you still heard her as alessia then fell back into talking with millie and maya about boring adult things.
lunch was finished and you had spent the time watching your mums phone with a side of eating your pasta that had been given to you but realistically you just pushed it around the plate. you hadn’t said a word the entire time during lunch so much so beth had asked alessia if you were having your afternoon nap.
now the girls had the rest of the day off to have some down day, now alessia was praying she was going to be able to get you down for a nap considering you were getting more and more clingy and grumpy.
"do you want a bopbop?" mummy asked you as she slowly nodded again resting your head on her shoulder as you watching from behind mummy all of the other girls begin to slowly leave the lunch room.
mummy got your bottle and asked one of the kitchen staff if they could put some warm milk in it, but not a lot as alessia was trying her best to wean you off it — but for circumstances like this, you could have as much as you needed in order to get you to sleep.
alessia made her way to where the sun loungers were and the rest of the girls hoping to soak up a bit of the sun while you were hopefully napping in the shade.
you were dressed in your pj's which were pink and had little hearts spread all across the shorts, while the top was just a pale pink colour.
alessia sat herself down next to ella who was trying to do her puzzle book which alessia had brung although with you being a little difficult today the blonde hadn't had time to pick it up.
"she still not asleep?" ella asked turning to the blonde who shook her head, "give me twenty and with a bit of luck she will be" alessia smiled as she got herself comfy as well as you, as you hugged your bunny stuffed animal.
"here" mummy said as she handed you the bottle of warm milk and you began to drink it laying on your mummy's chest. a quiet chatter of ella and alessia was all to be heard as they discussed some of the answers to the puzzle.
alessia thought you were nearly asleep but you sat up on her tummy, bottle which was still half full hanging from your mouth.
"mummy?"
"yes baby?"
"too hot" you mumbled your eyes heavy and almost fluttering shut. "c'mere and you can take this off" mummy whispered as she took your pj top off feeling the cool air hit your back as you flopped back down onto your mummy's chest as she begins to play with the ends of your hair.
minutes pass and which each one your body relaxes that little bit more, the grip on your bottle gets a little slacker and before long a deep sleep is taking over you.
your body fully relaxing and becoming limp as your bottle falls from your grip and mouth landing sideways on the sun bed.
"and finally the long awaited nap has came!" alessia sighs still playing with the ends of your hair. "let's hope she wakes up a little more like her usual sunshine self!" ella laughed slightly placing the puzzle book to the side having given up on the one she was trying to do.
"hopefully, as long as nobody wakes her up!"
liked by stanwaygeorgia and 681,502 others
alessia sleeping angel
comments -
ellatoone always an angel👼🏻
1h 308 likes reply
-> alessia she has her moments!
stanwaygeorgia when she wakes up i wanna practise my chants with her!
27m 213 likes reply
-> alessia yeah, give her time to nap first g!
#alessia russo#alessia russo x reader#alessia russo x y/n#arsenal wfc#arsenal women#awfc#awfc imagine#awfc x reader#football#leah williamson x reader#woso x reader#woso community#woso imagine#woso blurbs#woso one shot#woso appreciation#woso#arsenal#ella toone#georgia stanway x reader#enwoso
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when i think about this scene from 15.15 it makes me want to chew glass and tear up the walls in rage.
AMARA: I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person, that the myth you'd held onto for so long of a better life, a life where she lived, was just that, a myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life.
for the record i want to say i am a known amara-hater. don't like the non-con shit. don't like that she's doing what so many beings in spn do and narrativizing dean's life back at him while judging him because she drew the wrong conclusions. but i think fandom does have a tendency to take those claims at face value because that is easier than combing back through to check if it's correct or not. (see for example, rachel saying dean only calls cas when he needs him in 6.18. narrativizing, incorrectly. but i digress)
so let's talk about mary. because, through the seething rage, i think two main things about this claim. 1. dean does not have this mythos around mary and 2. mary has arguably more of that mythos around dean.
first off, we'll tackle the claim that it's a myth that if mary hadn't died, dean wouldn't have a better life. because that is absolute, utter, dogshit. OF COURSE HE'D HAVE A BETTER LIFE. while i will always maintain that clearly mary and john were far from stable before she died, her death was what speared john forward into hunting, into turning his kids into soldiers, into neglect and parentifying, and every other god forsaken thing he did. "a better life, a life where she lived, was just that, a myth" - girl, i DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE DIVINE, SHUT THE FUCK UP.
like please don't come here acting like dean grieving the future he could have had that didn't include him taking care of his younger brother alone in motel rooms for days while maybe actually being left as bait for the Kid-Eater is a character flaw on his part that he needs to learn better from.
next, amara claims dean needs to see the "real, complicated Mary."
but hasn't he? dean goes back in time and meets his mom in 4.03 and 5.13. and both times he treats her both as a competent hunter and a colleague. like to be clear, before that, i dont think he was wrong to be relying on a four-year-old's memory of what his mom was like because that's literally all he had access to. but dean actually did meet and interact with the whole, complex woman who was his mother long before amara decided to teach him a lesson with her as the homework. in both 4.03 and 5.13, dean tries to give mary advice to save her life but he doesn't belittle her experience hunting or her desire to leave and life a normal life. i don't know what more you want from him in terms of interacting with his mom as a whole, real, complex person?
this also applies wholly and completely to his interactions with her when she returns in s12. he apologizes for being nervous for her safety (AFTER SHE WAS JUST RESSURECTED) at first. mary says she wants to hunt, dean gets on board. mary says she needs space, dean asks clarifying questions to best support her request. he gets mad at her not for being who she is or needing what she needs but for lying to him for months and working with people who tortured him and sam.
in fact, s12 is what i would point to to indicate how well dean articulates and navigates the nuance of being hurt by someone's actions while still understanding and empathizing with why they did it and forgiving them. for example, he says this in 12.04
DEAN: This whole mom thing, it's... I mean, we get her back, and then she leaves. I hate it, but I get it. I do. I guess I'm just...still working through some of that crap. I'll try to be less of a dick about it.
[you're not a dick, dean, ilu]
in fact, dean's much maligned "how 'bout for once, you just try to be a mom?" isn't even about dean wanting anything particularly maternal from mary. it's about him not wanting her to ditch them to hunt alone and/or with the aforementioned torturers.
so circling back to amara's speech about expectations and myths. cause while her words do not apply to dean. amara's speech does remind me of something that happens upon mary's return in s12. these lines from 12.03:
DEAN: Mom, it's okay. All right? You're home now. MARY: No. I'm not. I miss John. I miss my boys. SAM: We're right here, mom. MARY: I know. In my head. But I'm still mourning them as I knew them. My baby Sam. My little boy Dean. Just feels like yesterday, we were together in heaven, and now...I'm her, and John is gone, and they're gone. And every moment I spend with you reminds me every moment I lost with them.
of course she has every right to grieve the time she lost with her kids. but someone in this room is having trouble really looking at the people in front of them because of their idealized memory of who they were compared to are and It Is Not Dean.
and i just think about dean's speech in 12.22. cause it wasn't dean that needed to see the real mary. it was mary, tucked away in her dream world where sam is a baby and dean is a little elementary schooler who likes pie and has never held a gun, who needed to see the real dean.
#dean studies#to be clear i am not blaming mary for the insane and impossible challenge of navigating being resurrected#dean and mary#amara also says she wanted dean to get less angry#which is a skill issue on her part#the correct response to seeing dean angry is putting gold stars on his behavior chart and giving him a kiss on the head#yeah mary it is#one of my top 10 dean lines of all time#i love you forever boundary boy#15.15#4.03#5.13#12.03#12.22
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Bridgerton shade of blue
Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader
The Viscount is set on finding a wife this season, and you are trying again for your second season. While Anthony is dealing with trials between Edwina and Kate Sharma, you are dealing with trials of your own. Benedict Bridgerton is ever present in your life, but your pursuit to find a husband must come first. Society is ever so exhausting.
{Masterlist}
{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}
Season Two
Chapter Twenty - The sisters
You step out of the carriage and look around you. The first ball of the season was always a grand affair. This one in particular as the queen had not yet chosen a diamond.
Last season, Lady Whistledown called Daphne Bridgerton a diamond of the first water, which made her stand out in the ton. Now, the queen was expected to choose a diamond every season. One lucky debutant would sparkle among all the others.
You take your mother's arm and head inside. Many were already present. Lots of lovely young ladies looking for partners for the evening. Your mother leaves your aide to go speak to some of the other mama's.
You stand alone near the entrance and look around. You couldn't spot anyone you knew. You decide to take a walk around the room.
Nerves were setting in. It was strange. You felt like you were doing all of this for the first time again. A few gentlemen glance at you as you pass by. You smile. They smile back. You keep walking.
As you make a turn about the room, you spot the Bridgertons arriving. You see Eloise dressed in a beautiful gown, yet looking uncomfortable. Violet looks very proud and excited. Then there's Benedict. Handsome and smiley.
You move quickly out of sight to avoid him. The way he had sketched you yesterday and what he had said had caused butterflies to rise in your stomach. You're not sure what to make of him right now.
While you try hard to avoid the gaze of the Bridgerton family, you do not escape the sight of Lady Danbury. As she sees you loitering around corners, she calls your name. Startled, you turn quickly in her direction. With a beck of her finger, you make your way over to her.
"Lady Danbury."
"Allow me to introduce you to my guests this season. Lady Mary Sharma and her daughters. Miss Kathani Sharma and Miss Edwina Sharma."
"Delighted," you smile at them.
Mary smiles politely at you. Her daughters do, too. Edwina, in particular, shares a striking resemblance to her mother. You take a look at the two sisters. Kathani is taller than Edwina, who is rather petite. Both of them have eye that sparkle in the lights of the ballroom. Their smiles are kind, though you sense a little nervousness from Edwina.
"A pleasure. You must call me Kate," the eldest of the two says, stepping forward ro greet you properly.
"Kate. I am looking for friends this season, I would be delighted to help make you both feel more comfortable this season if Lady Danbury agrees?"
Lady Danbury gives you a nod with an amused glint in her eye.
"I would be delighted. As would my sister, I'm sure." Kate turns to look at Edwina.
"Very much so." Edwina smiles.
Edwina's voice is higher than Kate's. She speaks softer, too. There are clear differences between them, but at the same time they are rather alike.
You smile at them both.
Lady Danbury comes up beside you and leans in rather close. "Avoiding your friends?"
"Not exactly."
"No? It looked to me like you were hiding." She chuckles.
"I was merely taking some time to myself. I need to get back into this. Last year did not quite go to plan." You avoid looking at her.
"Good things come to those who wait. I recommend branching out and growing your social circle. Miss Penelope Featherington could perhaps use another friend."
You look in the direction Lady Danbury is looking. Penelope stands among mamas gossiping, no doubt. You get the hint and make your way over there, hoping to spend time with the Sharma sisters again soon.
Perhaps this year is, in fact, a good time to make mkre friends. It gives you an excuse to avoid Benedict for a while, too.
"Penelope," you greet her softly.
"Oh, hello." She smiles shyly.
"May I keep you company a while?" You ask.
"Would you not prefer being among the others?" She asks in return.
You glance around the room and then back at her. "For tonight, no. I think I would much prefer to be a wallflower."
Penelope smiles slightly.
"How are you?"
"I am well." She nods. "Just... biding my time, I suppose."
The truth was that Penelope was watching and listening. Though she couldn't quite tell you that, or for what purpose. You would never believe her anyway.
"Is that Lady Mary Sheffield Sharma?" Portia asks, watching the Sharma family walk by. Kate smiles at you as she passes. You smile back at her. "I can't believe she would show her face here again," Portia continued.
"A scandal, mama?" Cressida asks her mother.
"Lady Mary was the incomparable of our season, until she fell in love with and married some kind of clerk, I hear. The two of them absconded to India, thereafter."
"A maharajah I would have understood, but the man was no more than a common worker who already had a child." One of the other mamas chimed in.
"That must be her. The older one," Portia points out toward Kate. You look at her from beside Penelope. There was no denying Kate was gorgeous.
"Lady Mary's parents, the Sheffields, never lived down the shame, did they?"
"Too ashamed to show their faces in London."
"If only every family could be as respectable as ours. Yes, Lady Featherington?" Lady Cowper chuckles softly.
You don't see Portia's response, too focused on watching Kate and Edwina.
You turn to Penelope. "No luck for you either?" You ask softly.
"Hm? Oh. No..." Penelope looks down shyly. "Excuse me." She leaves your side and walks away. You sigh softly. You ignore the chuckle of Cressida behind you and walk off in the other direction.
You have so far managed to successfully dodge Benedict, and for that you feel great relief. He must be preoccupied elsewhere. As you walk about the room you spot Edwina being asked to dance by Lord Corning. He's a tall handsome fellow with a good background. Edwina dances elegantly with him.
"Do you know him?"
You turn to find Kate looking at you. You smile and shakes your head. "Not personally. I know of him. He's very kind."
Kate watches her sister quietly.
"Are you not dancing?" You ask.
"I am here for my sister. Hers is the only match I care about. What about you?" She asks in return.
"Oh, no. I don't think I fit into society. It's too busy, too wanting. I don't think there is a perfect match for me. I got close last season, but it did not work out."
"What of him?" Kate nods across the room. You follow her gaze and find Benedict looking at you. He makes his way over once you spot him.
"I must go," you excuse yourself and flee.
Kate watches you go, and then watches Benedict follow the path you have taken. She wasn't sure what that was about, but she felt inclined not to intervene.
You find refuge in a dark corner behind some flowers. You sigh as you lean against the wall. Dodging Benedict all night was going to be harder than you thought.
"Are you hiding from me?"
You jump and turn to see Benedict looking at you. "No."
"It seemed like you were."
"I just need some space. All that dancing..."
"I didn't see you dancing." Benedict reaches for your dance card. "Your card is empty."
You take your hand back and sigh. "I'm sorry. I was just... confused."
"About that?" He asks.
"Forget about it. Why aren't you dancing?" You ask.
"I'm avoiding the mamas."
You chuckle softly.
"Dance with me?" He asks.
Your heart skips a beat. He offers you his hand and you know you can't really say no without making him worry. You take his hand and let him guide you to the floor. You join in with the dance.
Benedict looks at you as you both dance. "So tell me, why have you been avoiding me?"
You know he's not going to let this go. "I was embarrassed, I suppose."
"Embarrassed? Why?"
"Can I ask you something?" You ask softly.
"Of course."
"What do you see when you look at me?"
Benedict is struck into silence. He wasn't expecting that question from you. He has to remind himself that you're both dancing and take care not to step on your toes.
"You're beautiful, kind, honest, smart. You brighten up a room just by being in it. Your smile is genuine. You worry a lot, but I like that about you. It shows just how much you care about things and people. If I like you, other shall surely adore you."
You feel breathless. Benedict always knows just what to say to send you into a tizzy, but his last few words stung. He likes you, but not like that.
You put on a brave smile.
"Thank you, Benedict."
You both finish the dance, and he escorts you over to the refreshment table. He grabs you a glass and takes one for himself. You both sip your drinks. Before either of you can pick up the conversation, Violet comes over and leans into Benedict's other side.
"Have you seen your sister or your brother?" She asks, looking rather flustered.
"They managed to escape you? Good for them." Benedict smiles.
You nudge him harshly with your elbow. Benedict lets out a quiet ow and walks away, leaving you with Violet. You turn to her with a soft smile. "I'm sure they're not far."
Violet smiles softly and nods. "Have you two made up then?" She asks, referring to you and Benedict.
"Made up?"
"I was under the impression something happened." She looks a little confused.
"All is well. Your son has helped me see something in me I hadn't noticed before. That's all."
Violet smiles and then shifts her gaze as Lady Danbury approaches. You greet the other woman and she nods at you with a pleasing smile.
"Lady Danbury. Splendid evening," Violet comments.
"For the most part. There are a few guests whose absence I might not have regretted."
Lady Bridgerton laughs. "I do hope I'm not one of them."
"You and I have common interest this season, it seems." Lady Danbury tells her.
"I heard. Your wards, I look forward to meeting them."
"I met them earlier," you chime in. "Two very beautiful ladies."
Violet seems pleased by your words.
The two ladies talk away, and you find this a good opportunity to sneak away. You miss Kate and Edwina leaving rather quickly from the ball, unaware what had occurred between Kate and Anthony in the garden.
Benedict finds you again rather quickly. He comes up beside you and looks around. "Has my mama ended her pursuit?"
"I don't know why you're worried. She has her hands full with Eloise and Anthony. I don't envy her position with those two."
Benedict chuckles. "Is my mama not helping you, also?"
"She has offered her assistance, yes. Yet, I do not expect to come first. Her own children are her priority, and for that, I understand. I think I shall push the subject to the back of my mind for now."
Benedict regards you quietly and then nods.
The rest of the evening passes in quiet company with the second eldest brother. He sees no reason to leave your side when he's finding himself enjoying his time so much.
He even escorts you outside at the end. Everyone is too occupied with themselves to pay any attention to you two.
Benedict sees that you get in your carriage safely and bids you farewell. You wave as the carriage leaves. He watches you go before joining his family again.
Another season, another opportunity for chaos to arise.
@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333
@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173
@booknerdlife - @tamlinrose - @sarahskywalker-amidala - @cheryyluv - @louschan - @lou-la-lou - @cultish-corner
@hopshusushi - @katherinejess - @nannabug - @afunkyfreshblog - @f0x33 - @dd122004dd -
@jupitervenusearthmars - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @captainlunaxmen - @winchestersimpalababy - @acupnoodle
@ms-fandomgirl - @fablesrose - @anyaisinyourcloset - @meowzerzstuff - @orchiidflwer - @crazymar15
@cosmixstar - @bree3parchen - @berrnuu - @charmainemaclendon - @pinkpantheris - @krismdavis
@biancamde - @ifgslsofbsodbf - @kniselle - @berarenado - @grassclippers - @bwormie - @avengersgirllorianna
#Bridgerton shade of blue#benedict bridgerton x reader#bridgerton#Benedict Bridgerton#female reader#dragon writes
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will you marry me?
5 times remus has asked you to marry him and 1 extra.
tags: remus lupin x f!reader,, fluff,, angst,, no mention of the word y/n,, childhood friends to lovers,, mutual pining,, character death
first time at 5 years old;
your eldest sister was off to marry in spring and so naturally the whole house was buzzing with excitement and terror. and you, like any impressionable child, felt the tingles of something exciting happening before your very eyes.
lulu, your best ultimate mate as you so graciously dubbed him, felt this energy too.
or at least the many flowers and coloured envelopes scattered on the table, seem to ring some alarms for him.
“this table is too small,” he frowns, stopping his pretend chopping of the leaves, and looking longingly at the dinner table, filled with scattered wedding paraphernalia.
you shrugged, ponytail swishing as you move around him.
“we have to make room, my sister is to be mary.” you confidently repeated what your mum said to you in the morning. when you had whined at the lack of play space.
now you’re humming like it’s obvious, why you were given a child’s table and now have to play kitchen with one pot instead of four because of the lack of space. the confident pretence of a child to show they’re mature enough not to complain.
“why does she have to be mary?” he asks, his shoulder bumping into you, “i thought she likes her name hilda?”
you scoff, clearly lulu does not know of the way of being mary. so naturally, you being older (by a few months) needs to teach him. or else, however is he going to be a proper grown up?
“because she wants to be a wife. so she has to be mary first.”
“a wife?” he asks intrigued, “like mummy and daddy?”
you laugh, patting his head, “only mummies can be a wife, silly. daddies are hus-butts.” you stood straighter, having this conversation with your mum before. “mother says, you have to love first and then be a mary. so you can play with them even after dinner and eat chocolates and make children.”
he seems to perk up even more, looking at you. his eyes as usual, gleaming with obvious awe, “to make children? with what?”
you pout, having no answer.
you haven’t asked your mum this question yet. too busy thinking of how many mary’s there are in your town.
still, you try to think of an answer.
you don’t want to let lulu down, you are after all his only hope for knowing things.
luckily, you’ve overheard this one conversation last week, your sister moving after she becomes mary so they can begin making a family.
you raise your head, hand on your hip and your other pointed as if in a lecture.
you said in your most confident voice. “you enter specific rooms in the house, and always make sure it’s locked. and then you wait until you can come out with children. but you must only do this if you love them. that is the ultimate rule. or else it won’t work.”
“wow,” he breathed, he clenched his fists then, looking utmost determined. before screaming in glee and confidence, the only way a naive child could. “then let’s make children! be mary and then we can play all night!”
you clicked your tongue, disappointed he hadn’t comprehended. “but you should love me first.”
his cheeks heated pink, indignant, “but i do. i love you a whole lot! and i wanna play here all the time.”
you shook your head, grim. “we can’t.” sounding so heartbroken, as much as any five year old could sound.
because you’ve already asked your mum if you could make children with lulu and she said, you’re only suppose to do that if you’re a grown up in love.
you asked, what’s the difference? you were plenty grown. 5 is one hand after all.
and your sister said to you, amusement lacing her words, a grown up to take care of you and cherish you. someone able to help you and grow with you.
you look at lulu. his thin arms and his lack of knowledge.
certainly not a grown up. not a proper man who can be with you, at all.
“i don’t love you, so we can’t.” you say this huffing, now turning completely to your make shift pot and stirring the water and leaves.
lulu cried loud that day, wailing like a little kid.
and nodding to yourself knowing you’ve made the right choice. he is so not a grown up. even if his pinched face made you feel queasy.
your mum rushing over and asking what was wrong. when you told her, she laughed out loud, and hugged you both, brushing remus’ hair out of his tear streaked face.
and you wonder what was so funny when he looked so sad.
second time at 11 years old;
remy was horrified.
you realize this as he stares at you in a crazed panic. and as always, it was up to you to be strong.
“what do you mean by that?” puffing your chest out and stood to cover remy from potter.
“didn’t you know? kissing makes girls pregnant.” he whispered, loudly in the empty halls, scandalized as he went to look at your stomach as if it will inflate this instant.
you fight the urge to cover that area with your robes. willing yourself to be brave for the both of you.
“surely… that isn’t true.”
potter scoffs, offended to have been doubted, “yes it is, i heard a prefect say so.”
you feel remy grab the back of your robes in panic. the reference enough to persuade him. you almost roll your eyes, but instead sighed to calm yourself down.
“i ought to tell you lot to be careful.” potter looked at the both of you meaningfully, and inhaling sharply as a flash of embarrassment burns into your brain.
you weren’t able to will the heat of your cheeks to dissipate, before it showed on your cheeks. your face and neck warmed red. mortified that potter knows the secret kiss shared between you and your friend, currently pulling at your robes.
it was both of your first kiss, deciding to just get it all over with, so you both can know what was so special about it.
it wasn’t much.
it felt soft, and quick.
nothing at all sparkling or romantic, like others said.
“alert your parents immediately, else you might be kicked out. and i’ve grown quite fond of the two of you, you know.” potter nodded at you, looking as if he pitied you both before crossing his arms as he strutted away.
you look at remy fully now. he was standing too close and still holding unto your robes like a lifeline.
“did you really have to tell potter of all people what we did?” you scoff, crossing your arms and tapping your feet like how your mother used to do it when she was cross with something.
he seemed to shrink into himself more, “i’m sorry, he said he saw it, and pestered me into confessing.” he bit his lips to bleed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be in trouble.” he sniffled.
and you immediately cooled, reaching forward and pulling at his chin to stop his assault and softly rubbing at his bleeding lips with your robes with another click of your tongue.
“it’s fine, he already saw, nothing else we can do.”
“so, what are we going to do now?” he asked softly, he looked at you, eyes filling with worry and sadness. “what if you are? we’ll get in trouble, won’t we?”
you bring down your arm now, before breathing out deeply.
you try to think of why it wouldn’t be true, but the tone of his voice was making you worry endlessly too.
even though you know it wasn’t all true, because your sister kissed her husband plenty of times in the house and they don’t have kids.
and you were about to point that out to him. to reassure your ever warm, too soft friend, that james potter was full of it and to relax.
but remy stood straighter, his cold hands gripping yours tightly, so much that it hurts. now standing a bit taller than you. pink lips pulled into a straight line and eyes looking straight at you. soft brown eyes no longer holding any worry, instead with resolute determination.
“marry me,” he said, “i promise to look after our children and work.” he nodded at you, as if urging you to say yes. to trust him.
a look entirely different from what you remembered from way before, yet feeling all the same regardless.
the reason of proposal was ridiculous in of itself that you couldn’t help but laugh.
“i’m not pregnant you dolt, pregnancy doesn’t work that way. i assure you.” rolling your eyes in amusement. “so don’t you go proposing like some weirdo.”
he stopped for a second, as if startled as he kept looking at you. before leaving a shaky sigh, head hanging low.
“okay,” his lips in a wobbly smile, looking weird. “good.”
third time at 17 years old;
sirius had managed to sneak in a case of firewhisky in one winning after-party in the common room.
it was safe to assume that everyone was positively sloshed. if judging from the slurring exclaims from james and a red face peter barely able to stand and sirius laughing maniacally at something marlene has said to him.
and remus being the self-appointed responsible one, had taken it upon himself to maintain sobriety the entire night. to look after the three of them in the aftermath.
resolutely sitting next to you the whole night, engaging in a missed conversation about gossip and literature.
“still feeling confident you can handle these three blokes up in your room?”
he grimaced, already rubbing his temples, probably from regret and the james’ incessant off-key singing. “i don’t really have much of a choice now, do i?”
you laugh easy, “with the way james is attempting to strip, i think not. you did volunteer, taking responsibility and what not.”
he sighed rather audibly, over the soft music of the party that was already dying down. most of the attendees already settling into their respective rooms.
and you look at remus, slumped into the chair, and laugh to yourself.
still so helpless, you think. you guess you had to step up again. pick up the slack a little bit.
you try to trick yourself into thinking you were tired and miffed about it, but you find you quite like feeling needed. especially by remus.
whom of which seems to be way into being responsible now and being a proper grown up. one that follows curfew and plans his day.
he barely looks at you for help anymore.
he always has an answer to questions now.
as the boys depend on him for being the responsible one in their little foursome.
off to late night adventures and pranks. no longer the crying, awe struck, nervous kid you grew up knowing. makes you feel kind of sad.
“alright then,” you exhaled, “i’ll lend you a hand for dealing with the demons.” you stood up whilst downing your drink, a sweet concoction by dorcas.
he looks up at you, eyes looking bloodshot and tired. he softly shook his head, “you don’t have to.”
you frown, clicking your tongue and placing a hand on each of your hips. “i said i’ll do it, so i’m going to. now stand up and let’s go.”
he looked at you just a second longer and sighs looking away, a soft smile etched on lips before looking at you again. looking won over.
standing up, dusting the invisible dirt on his trousers and nodding.
he towers over you now, seemingly out of no where.
you realize this as your neck strain looking up at him. as you gather the rowdy, intoxicated boys back to the dorms.
something sirius was extremely grateful for and the others echoed.
“thanks for— for taking care of me darling,” sirius breathed hot into your face before pecking you on the cheek.
“yes, you’re very welcome,” you hummed amused, tucking his covers into his sides, making sure he couldn’t move out of bed.
sirius giggles, “it feels like being tucked in by a mum,” before looking at you serious, eyes wide and looking more sober than he actually was, as if realizing something.
“you’re the mum in the group!” he exclaimed.
“im the what?”
james overhears this and exclaims his agreements.
“oh you are! you’re the perfect mum size!” james said.
you turn to him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask hotly.
“you’re very caring and mum-like, and you scold like a mum too, sometimes you even talk like one,” peter mumbled.
you look at remus, giving you an amused look, lips stretching like close to laughing.
“this is going to be the last time i’m helping you lot, if you call me mum one more time.” you threatened lightly.
sirius hums loud like he doesn’t believe you, “it’s not all bad, not like you’re gonna be a single-mum. remus is gonna be the dad after all.” he said like he was so sure.
and james, of ourse, echoed his agreements.
“obviously,” james tutted from his bed, tucked in tight by remus.
“yesh,” peter slurred, “he looks like—remus looks like he knows how to read maps.” he breathes out, like on a verge of sleeping.
james gasps, “he does! remus is a map reading dad, nothing has made more sense than this moment right here. you are meant to hold a map in your hands remus, you’re a daddy compass.”
remus looks perturbed, eyebrows scrunched and lips into a tight frown. he shakes his head then, before closing each of their curtains, not even bothering to justify james’ quip. “night lads,”
“night dad,” sirius teased from his bed, before shuddering excessively, “never thought i’d say that again.”
you snort out a laugh before you could help it. “good night everyone.”
you look at remus, and see him gesture to come outside.
quietly walking out of their room and closing the door behind you.
“come, i’ll walk you out.” grabbing your hand softly and pulling you down the corridor to the stairs. dropping his hold just as quick as if he hadn’t meant to hold it in the first place.
“sorry about the lads, the lack of filter is unfortunately not the effect of alcohol but is just them naturally.”
you chuckle softly, rubbing your tingling palms on the side of your skirt.
as if you didn’t know that already. those three have already been a staple into your everyday life for majority of the year. they, quite frankly, grow on you like some persistent vine on a house.
“it’s fine, it was quite tame compared to the usual rubbish they spew most of the time.”
remus looks at you, barely able to hide the smirk emerging from his lips.
“don’t tell me you liked them calling you mum?” the teasing lilt in his voice impossible to miss.
you lightly push on his shoulders. “don’t be disgusting, being called their mum is weird enough. and you implying i like it just makes it even weirder.”
“well imagine being called daddy compass by one of your mates, it’s gonna be hard looking at james tomorrow morning i’ll tell you that.”
you laugh excessively loud at this, before covering your mouth sheepish as you remember the time.
you look over at him, up and down as if assessing, “but you do look like a dad who knows how to read maps. wears khakis all the time and has a moustache.”
he rolls his eyes at you, as you grin in mirth, “well does that mean you’ll do me the honours of marrying me to avoid the life of a single parent to three demon boys?”
you laugh, shaking your head, “not exactly selling your case to me, are you?”
“won’t you reconsider though?” he moans, like he’s pained but you see the glint in his eyes even in the dark dorm room stairs. “it is after all for the children.”
you know he’s joking, hardly a night of partying counts as anything like a proper proposal.
but your brain can’t help but supply the thought that he looked quite fuller now. arms looking sturdier, and harder. he is acting more responsibly, all the professors trust him.
he was almost like a proper grown up now.
and you remember the echo of the ultimate rule in your childhood.
you shake your head, and an easy smile spread on your lips. stopping at the stairs for your dorms, “over my dead body,”
and he laughs, the sound echoing in the trashed common room, “well alright, good night, beautiful.”
“good night remus.”
fourth time at 19 years old;
you knew james was serious about lily when you lot had graduated from hogwarts. but you didn’t know the extent of the seriousness until he said this after one of the order meetings.
“i’m going to ask lily to marry me.”
james had said this with such conviction, so sure and full of affection. you can’t help but feel awed.
he suddenly seemed mature. not like the doofus you’ve come to know and consider a confidant through these trying times.
but a proper adult, one who does taxes and knows how to set up an appointment for medical check ups and fights in wars.
james suddenly feeling very far away from you.
you feel remus shift, his leg pressing into yours. you look at him to see what he wanted, but saw he was just looking at james, eyes set hard.
you shook yourself out of your stupor. standing up abruptly, not meaning to leave the familiar press of remus’ leg against your thigh.
“that’s—that’s great news james, i would have never guessed you—oh you’re all grown up!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and him wrapping his around your middle with a giddy smile.
“thank you, mum.” he laughs, the on going joke still running strong. you squeeze him extra tight and pinching his arm for extra measure. before pulling away. “i never thought you had it in you to propose. i’d have half a mind to propose to lily on your behalf.”
he laughs, a bashful blush resting on his cheeks. “i figured, why wait, you know? tomorrow isn’t promised, and—i think spending every moment together is we all can do. i don’t want to die with regrets. i love her.”
you breathed in deep.
sirius coming forward too and slapping james in the back before giving his own congratulations and then peter and then remus too.
you were happy for them both, truly, having found one another even in these difficult times was awe-inspiring.
and then you start to wretchedly wonder if you could have that too. if only the circumstances were a bit different. would you have been given enough time to find another? enough to love? enough to marry?
you find your gaze sliding to remus, how strained his smile looked and wonder if he’s thinking the same.
he looked back at you, as he always does, and smiles gently. less strained now. like he was resigned.
you try to imagine if the circumstances were a bit different and he would find someone to love. someone to marry.
you feel your navel, coil in a bundle of nerves. a tension in your neck making you almost irate.
he gestured for you to follow him out.
like being compelled and weak, you follow without a question.
the night air was chilly, and feeling some sort of static on your skin, like building an unnerving suspense.
remus just sat and gestured for you to sit beside him.
the seat was cold, and you sat rigid like ice.
it’s been a while since you’ve last sat with remus like this. the order keeping all your hours occupied, mission after mission. surviving by the skin of your teeth.
all the world has gone fucked now, it didn’t feel quite real some time—like some sort of veil has just been pulled over your head making you see things clearer for the horrors awaiting your fates.
and in your mind loud with noise and worry, you almost didn’t hear him.
“why don’t we do it?”
“what?” you turn to him, hoping his face show an inkling, a clue as to what he had said.
he looked at you then, eyes still so warm even with the atrocities he’s faced and eyes still so bright in the night. a twinkling light reflecting in his eyes making him look younger. prettier.
“why don’t we get married?”
you lean back slightly in shock, “what?” you repeated, because you didn’t understand. this came so suddenly, words weirdly familiar but the intent wildly different than from all the others you’ve heard before.
you looked at his eyes. searching, still, for a clue or something that might make sense because what?
he laughs, the warm, soft sounding one you can barely hear. but it was just the two of you outside and it was quiet and you were sitting so close, so you hear it—loud and clear. the sound making you feel warm. “is that so crazy?”
he looked like a boy, happy and hopeful. his leg was pressing into your thighs again. the pressure grounding you.
his hands fidgeting deep within his pockets.
“i think we work well enough.” he added, with a small smile.
you feel something in your heart stutter, “work well enough,” you repeated. “glad to know i reach your standards for a bride, sir lupin.” you almost scoff. masking the bitter simmer of disappointment of his reason. and the coiling nerves still tightly wound in your navel, feeling heavy, making it harder to breathe.
he shrugs, “well you know, a lot of applicants have been killing themselves to be chosen. i reckon you ought to feel honoured.” he grinned over to you, still joking.
you rolled your eyes, “of course,”
“yeah?” he perked up, suddenly sitting straighter, his knees bumping into yours in his haste to look at you properly. “you want to?” he seemed shocked, overtly so, that it makes you laugh. a heat blooming on your face at his apparent willingness to marry you before shaking your head to avoid any confusion.
“no to the proposal but yes, that it is indeed an honour.”
he deflates, “ah,” he said softly, before laughing like he was embarrassed. “i just—i kept thinking what james said, about tomorrow not being promised—and, i, well i thought—“ he clears his throat before continuing. “i thought i might see what the fuss was about,”
you nodded, “‘m afraid marriage isn’t so simple. you have to love one another for a start.” you added somewhat bitterly, looking away.
“so you keep reminding me,” he says, laughing awkwardly.
fifth time at 38 years old;
you feel as if your life was reaching a crescendo.
the night glooming, brooding like the sky knows to colour it of fear and nerves.
it was going to come down to tonight, so it seems. whether we win or we lose. the end or the beginning. all those families we’ve lost and the families we’ve created. all our hopes and dreams sacrificed into this one night.
“you feeling alright?” remus asked to your left.
the glooming sky somehow illuminating his face all the same.
“as alright as anyone can be when facing a dark wizard.” you smirked, shrugging.
he laughs, still sounding so warm and soft.
you feel his fingers brush yours. you had half a mind to remind him to get ready and hold his wand tight.
you notice how keeps forgetting to do that. opting to hold unto you, just like he did before when he was a child from another time.
he only offers a closed lipped smile, looking at you the same way he has always looked at you. his stare the most familiar thing, it might as well be a part of you.
“i love you.” he breathed. and your heart hammered, your world tilting on its axis. shifting the very fabric of your universe.
and he looked relieved like he couldn’t wait to hold unto it any longer. and then he repeated it. more sure. louder. affectionate. looking straight into you. his brilliant, soft, warm eyes so full.
you wonder when did his gaze start to look at you like that?
and then you see;
his eyes looking as it did when he was five, shining with obvious awe.
his eyes when he was eleven, with resolute determination.
eyes when he was seventeen, glinting with mirth in the dark crevices of the dorms.
the look he gave you when he was nineteen, looking so boyishly happy and hopeful.
and now as he’s thirty-eight, looking at you with so much love, and longing, and pain, and joy.
“when this is all over,” he breathe, “will you marry me?”
so much time has passed by now that you had once thought it was too late for you. too late with him. something you always thought but could never have.
he was now undeniably a man. arms littered with scars and unwavering confidence as he looks at you. but his eyes still glimmer and twinkle all the same.
the undeniable rampage in your chest, your eyes searching for an answer or a clue for what he’s thinking.
“i love you,” he repeats, and gazing at you with that familiar eyes of his.
and you laugh because you found your answer. so you’ll give him his.
“yes.”
extra;
the battle was brutal, bodies piled on top of one another. those too young to know what they even fought for. those for their own ideals. and those caught in cross fires.
but it was over. and the good guys won.
but with so many lost, people thought, how could i possibly cheer?
but there was this type of solace when you’re gone. there was no more pain. all those gone can only do one thing, to let go. at least that’s what harry thinks.
staring down at the family he could’ve had.
your limp cold hand holding remus’ equally cold ones.
he wonders if someone intertwined your hands, or if you simply died holding on to each other. never to let go.
he realized it didn’t really matter. you were both gone. forever, but together.
he thinks of the comforting hugs you’ve given him in the short time you’ve spent with him, and the many stories remus told. and in this fierce pain he wonders if you ever saw the shiny, glinting ring in remus’ dresser hidden away ever since he was eighteen.
#perpetuallydaydreaming#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin angst#marauders era#remus lupin#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin fluff#5+1 fic#remus lupin fanfiction#james potter#sirius black#peter pettigrew#marauders#marauders fluff#marauders imagine#mutual pining#remus lupin fic#remus lupin 5+1 fic#remus lupin x you#harry potter fandom#harry potter#lily evans#jily
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Hiiiiiiii! If you’re still open for requests maybe you might wanna write something where the reader casually mentioned that they/she had a partner on earth before they died and Alastor takes it a bit too drastically and has just been very salty and asking too many questions 😭 if you like that
Please & thanks ❤️
Hey guys I've returned! Sorry for taking a little while, I was busy with finals/I wanted to relax on my spring break so I didn't have a lot of time. I lowkey kind of cooked with this one too so enjoy :3
Also, I sorta made the reader be from around the same time period as Alastor (sorta late 1910s early 1930s) for extra spice
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It had become a daily routine for you and Alastor to have afternoon tea together in cannibal town. Always, between the hours and four and six o’ clock after Alastor had finished his broadcast and you, your hotel duties, the both of you would walk down to Rosie’s Emporium to nibble on finger sandwiches, candied eyeballs, and other treats.
The sun was still high in the sky, sending fingers of light through the windows of the cafe; the building was alive with the chatter of demons and hell-born alike. You and Alastor had just sat down, a short cannibal girl with a heart-shaped face and glowing brown ringlets placing your usuals on the table. Oh how beautiful they were! Too pretty to eat, garnished with tiny sprigs of mint (or, at least, it may have been mint) and resting on plates of delicate porcelain. With polished silver beside them, and matching teacups and saucers too, it all looked like a party for a girl’s favorite doll.
That is, if it weren’t human meat.
Looking up from your plate, you saw Alastor turn his head to follow the cannibal girl making you frown. His gaze returned to you before he caught you staring, a chipper grin on his face as always.
“She could be a dead ringer for Mary Pickford, don’t you think?”
Your eyebrows perked. You hadn’t looked long at the girl admittedly, though you stared long enough to know that she was no Pickford. You pursed your lips,
“I don’t see it, Lillian Gish maybe.”
He looked at you like a mad-woman, “You don’t!?”
“No! Her eyes are much too large!”
Alastor chuffed, proceeding to rest his chin on his dark hand, “In the eye of the beholder I suppose.”
You rolled your eyes, “You only say that because of her curls,” you stated while picking up the teapot and pouring yourself and Alastor your cups, “Now, drink before it gets cold.”
For much of your lunch neither of you spoke, merely enjoying each other’s presence while pecking on some food here and there. Throughout the meal the waitress brought more plates, pancreas tarts, minced tongues coated with cinnamon sugar, and sweet pies filled with rotted venison and cooked kidneys, all Rosie’s treat. Alastor had been taken by the small pies in their mulled deliciousness, the meat so tender you saw his eyes water. He pleaded you to try one, though you couldn’t, your stomach filled to the brim from the other treats and delicacies.
Alastor picked up the small pair of silver tongs from beside him and placed two sugar cubes in his tea, “I do say, it’s nice to have a meal companion again.” He took a sip from his teacup and grinned.
You nodded in agreement, lifting the milk jug from the table and pouring a generous amount into your cup. “Likewise. Good dinner conversation is a horrid thing to lose.”
“Truly.” He took another drink. “Before you, I hadn’t had a proper luncheon since my mother.”
“From what you tell she sounded like a fine woman.” His grin lost its eeriness, becoming fond instead.
“She truly was, and such a fine cook too.” Alastor gazed at the fine pattern painted on the rim of his saucer, “her jambalaya was the best, our side of the Mississippi” he chuckled. He began to remember then, “And her gumbo and her crawfish etouffee and her pecan pralines”
It was odd to hear his voice so full of affection, but nice too. So strange, to think a man who broadcasted his murders of other overlords and feasted on their flesh was once a little boy who clung to his mothers skirt and happily ate her cooking.
“Maybe one day you’ll cook for me then?” you teased
“Oh why wouldn’t I for my favoritest of sinners?” He took your hand.
You leaned in towards him, a silent flirtation. “Or perhaps I could prepare something for you?”
He looked at you from his dark, hooded eyes, a certain intrigue radiating from them. “Would you now?” he said, leaning in closer.
“Oh I would, anything you’d like.” the tip of your oxford lingering at his ankle. “My food was good enough for my darling back on earth, why would an overlord of hell have any complaints? Other than not enough seasoning I suppose.”
That was when the laughter in his eyes died. Alastor bit the inside of his cheek before finding the words to speak, “Your darling?”
“Pardon?”
“You had someone,” He straightened up, pulling himself away from you, “back on earth?”
“I hardly see how it matters now.”
Alastor’s tone grew curt, had such a simple word bruised his ego?
He crossed his arms, “What were they like?” each word as sharp as his teeth.
You pulled your hands close to you, confused at his curtness, “They were….they were nice. Cordial, spirited, vivacious, however you would put it. If you’re-” Alastor cut you off.
“How did you meet them?”
“On the trolley.” That only served to make him scoff.
“Tch, how common. The trolley.”
You chewed your bottom lip, trying to deny the anger towards him that began to knot in your belly. “It was a different lifetime.” You asserted, a hard finality to it. Pushing yourself from the small table you smoothed your skirt and adjusted the ribbon that was tied so nicely in your hair.
Without looking at him you said, “Tell Rosie I’m grateful for her hospitality and I will try to find a way to repay her. Also that I’m sorry that I had to retire without saying hello but I feel rather…faint.” Before leaving completely you said, “See you back at the hotel.”
The rest of the day you hid in your room, sulking and pacing. Charlie had tried to coax you out, seeing how angry you’d been when you came back, but you denied every effort she had.
“It’s not good to stay cooped up in there,” the Princess pleaded.
“I like my alone time.”
“But- but I had games planned! Husk was going to show us how to play Blackjack and Dominoes!”
“I prefer bridge, and he’ll just cheat us anyways.”
She gave a disappointed sigh, and outside the door you could hear Vaggie talking to her, telling Charlie to give you your space.
For three nights straight you avoided Alastor, finishing up your hotel duties quickly before hiding in your room. You grew bored after the first day admittedly, a person could only sleep and bathe and read so much. The fourth night is when he knocked on your door while you lied draped on your couch, your nose in a book you’d already finished before. Thinking it was Charlie, you ignored it, sure she’d get the message. It insisted however, rapping harder the second time. You sighed, annoyed. “Who is it?”
“Alastor, may I come in?”
A sour taste came in your mouth, “No.”
“You cannot lock yourself away from me forever.”
You lifted yourself off the couch, full of bitterness, “I can and I will!”
An electric hum filled your ears, the sound of Alastor weighing his words, “Could you at least entertain my attempt?”
Walking to the door and opening it slightly you saw his face, those deep, hooded eyes dark as blood, cracked lips, and hollow cheekbones. All of those beautiful, haunting features draped in remorse. You sighed, cursing the affection you had for him.
“Fine, but I’m still cross with you.” That made him smile, if only a tad.
Opening the door fully, you saw he’d brought one of the dining carts from the unused kitchen clad in a clean white sheet. Alastor pushed it to the center of the room before spiritedly ripping the cover from the cart, presenting polished silver dishes of raw meat and organs. From the bottom shelf of it, he had pulled a fine bottle of wine and two shining glasses.
“I helped myself to a bottle of Husk’s finest, the patrons here don’t have as refined tastes as you and I.” He gave a small grin. So this is what he brought with him, a peace offering. Your stomach was empty from only eating a small meal earlier in the day, so perhaps it was not in vain, though you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him.
“I’ll help you set the table,” you offered, feeling guilty he put so much effort into pleasing you.
Alastor held his hands up, “No need darling.” He put his hand on his throat, “What I said the other day was very…” he coughed into his hand, “ungentlemanly of me, and I wanted to make it up to you.”
You folded your hands and held them to your chest, looking at the embarrassment he tried to hide. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, and raised your gaze to his. “Thank you, Alastor.” His grin widened as he sat down beside you.
He uncorked the bottle of wine, beginning to pour it into the glasses, “Of course.” He handed you the glass which you took gladly. The vintage was so dark it looked black, reflecting the lights that glowed from the ceiling. Swishing it, you could see the hidden shades of red that the wine hid.
“Demon’s blood, Husk calls it.” Alastor told you before he took a long sip.
“Fitting. Do you know how long he’s aged it?” Alastor shrugged, taking another swallow.
“I didn’t care to ask, but it tastes so good going down. Come, drink, I didn’t bring this up so I could get drunk by myself.” That made you giggle, how much he valued the both of you eating and drinking together.
Taking his lead, you titled your head back, savoring the warm burn of the wine going down. Its hot fingers lingered in your chest before fading, like drinking cold medicine. In three large gulps you finished your glass, noticing the way Alastor’s eyes watched your throat as you drank. After finishing your second glass you began to dig into the food he’d brought, pancreas tarts, cooked kidneys and…oh good god! On the largest plate was a raw heart, fresh and bloody.
“Where did you get this? You shouldn’t have!” Your eyes went wide and your mouth began to salivate. A raw heart! Oh and it was human too! Such a fine delicacy must have taken so much begging from Alastor!
“Rosie owed me a favor. And I owe it to you, for making such a jackass of myself.”
You took another sip of your wine, feeling your face begin to flush. You helped yourself to a tart while Alastor poured himself another glass. As you ate you felt his eyes on you again, focusing on the way your teeth bit into the pastry, your swan’s neck showing your swallow, and how your tongue dragged across your lips. Feeling bold, you placed your feet in his lap and wiped the corner of your mouth with your finger, licking the tip of it with your tongue. He swallowed, hard, his eyes growing wide.
“Are you looking at something?” Your voice a heavy seduction.
“Possibly.” He drank again. Leaning back on the arm of the couch, he placed his glass on the floor. The tips of his fingers grazed your legs, “Though I do have another question for you, if I may.”
A sultry smirk grew on your face, “That depends on what it is, Al.” God, you could see the glint in his eyes then.
Alastor looked up at you from his hooded eyes, “I’ve been wondering…about your “darling.” You arched an eyebrow; your interest piqued. “Did they ever have…you?” His breath shuddered.
“Have me, how?” You teased.
“Oh humor me my dear,” He purred
You smirked and shifted your legs in his lap. “Hmm, maybe once or twice…” You sit up from your recline and crawl onto his lap.
“What sorts of things did they do to you?”
Running your fingers down his chest you savored the way he squirmed and shifted, “All sorts of unholy things”
Alastor choked on his breath, his eyes transfixed on your face. Slowly, he caught it, regaining a certain boldness afterwards. His hand found the top of your stocking, fingering the nylon taut to your thighs. “Getting rather comfortable aren’t we my dear?”
The smirk you had deepened and you pulled in closer, feeling the heat of his breath tickle your cheeks. You looked into his eyes, “I could get much more comfortable if you like, Al.” For what seemed like ages you lingered, until you felt you had tortured the man enough. Slowly, you leaned in, seemingly ready to kiss his shiny red lips. Grinning, you pulled a piece of dry skin from his bottom lip between your teeth, peeling it to show the bleeding flesh beneath.
You sat back on his lap and spat out the skin. Looking at him, you saw that hunger in his eyes again. That fine line of decorum the two of you had with one another, ignoring the lingering gazes and longing touches, all thrown away with one bite. Underneath, you could feel his arousal beginning to grow hard. You rolled your hips slightly into him, earning a throaty groan from Alastor. From the silver dining cart you pulled the piece de resistance, that raw bleeding heart, and sunk your teeth into it, tasting the sweet flavor of iron. Trails of blood dripped from your mouth onto your decolletage, slowly turning brown and flaky.
Alastor’s breath heaved, growing even harder from that sultry cannibalistic display. He pulled you towards him and pressed your mouth to his, saccharine saliva mixing with sanguine. His tongue slid and twisted about yours, savoring every inch of its taste. You pulled away from him to catch your breath, making him whine. Leaning in again, he dragged his tongue along your neck, cleaning up the drying strings of blood.
Both of you straightened up then, him holding you proper now. One hand ran its fingers through his shiny red hair and the other cupped his aching sex, so taut against his trousers.
“Is that what you were so upset about Al? If they fucked me or not?” You purred into his ear.
The tips of your fingers fluttered over his hip, tracing its edge before returning to his cock. “I bet you wondered if I did this to them, didn’t you?” A small nip was placed on his neck, leaving a red half-moon. Your breath grew hot against his cheek as you whispered into his ear again,
“Maybe I did, and maybe I did so many more dirty things to them.”
Alastor enraptured your mouth in another needy kiss. His words heavy with radio static, “What sort of things my dear? Or are you all talk?” Your grin widened seeing the shock in his eyes when you began to unbutton his overcoat.
“Let me show you.”
Four little words was all it took to send him over the edge. Picking you up, his hands traced over all the parts of your succulent body. When he flopped you on the bed, hair as tousled as a pin-up, you reached out a stockinged leg to him, that devious look on your face growing. Oh how badly he wanted to have you, hastily unzipping your dress as you stripped him down to his undershirt and trousers. Deft fingers hooked around the tops of your stockings, pulling them down as fast as they could. You dropped his trousers and took off his shirt, admiring all of that soft, gray skin.
You pressed your mouth to the flesh of his stomach, blessing it with small love-bites that made him shudder. All along his torso you left red patches and traced your cool fingertips along the hard edges where his ribs poked out. You tilted your head up and moved his hands to the straps of your brasserie, exposing all of your hot, yearning flesh. He cupped a breast and lied on top of you. Grinding his sex to yours he moaned into your mouth. It had been so…so long since you’d been wanted, since someone pressed their body to yours and you felt all of their heat as they slid into you, over and over again.
“Al,” You breathed
“What is it?”
“Get on your back.”
And so he did.
Alastor’s back against the mattress and your palms against his chest, you let him enter you. He let out a string of curses when you did, and even more when you started moving in those easy rolling motions. Those large hands of his held the curve of your waist as you rode him, his eyes half-lidded as he watched your breasts bounce.
“The first time I saw you…” You began, going a little faster, “I wanted you,” You heard a small thud as he dropped his head against the pillows.
“I thought about you kissing me and touching me all over” That’s when the pulses of pleasure started to build up, prickling you in sweet needles that went all the way up your spine.
“And about you sticking your fingers in me and..and your tongue too” You felt your face heat up and your sex grow slicker, admitting those indecent thoughts you only entertained during late nights when your fingers wandered. Alastor gripped your waist tighter, making your rhythm harsher. You looked down on him, his eyes glazed over with euphoria, and felt your mouth pool with saliva.
Digging your nails into the skin of his chest you kept on. “For a whole week I couldn’t keep from slipping my hands between my legs.” Your voice, thick and hoarse. “I wanted to know what you tasted like, if-if your mouth tasted like blood,” that was when he quickened the pace even more. Your sex was so hot and wet, all the way at the base of your spine you could feel your orgasm coming to you, a full-body shiver that made your eyes well with tears.
The last part was what sent him over the edge though.
“Sometimes, I’d bite myself so I could taste the blood when I’d touch-” was all it took to make him come.
Fuck it felt good too. A weak falsetto escaped your mouth when he released, so warm and filling. That’s what made you reach your end too. You clawed your nails in his skin so deep there were two broken half-moons on his chest. Your thighs clenched against his torso, quivering, as you could feel your body become as light and floaty as chiffon.
Alastor let the both of you ride it out, that sweet joyous bliss. When your mind returned from the heaven it was sent to, you leaned over, resting on top of him. He moved you gently, pressing you closely to his chest. For a while, neither of you spoke, the air lingering with the smell of sweat and blood and sex. You ran your fingers through his hair again; He kissed the back of your hand before speaking.
“If I’d known all that would come out of making you angry at me, I would’ve earned your ire a long while ago.” You rolled your eyes, flicking his chest playfully.
“Perhaps we could do this again, without the arguing?” You propose, “You’re quite good at it.”
A smile stretched across his face as he played with a lock of hair that rested near your face, “Expect nothing less from an overlord of hell cher.” One of his hands slid to your lower back, tracing small circles on that creamy flesh.
“How about we try one more time without the arguing, for good measure?”
You smirked and kissed him again. All for good measure.
#hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel smut#alastor x y/n#hazbin hotel alastor x reader#hazbin alastor x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel imagines#fanfic request
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stay gold is for darry too
“when you’re young and the world is new / it’s easy to forget when you’re trying just to make it through”
bc, cmon guys, darry is twenty. 20, two-zero. idk how different college was back then, so bare with me.
he’s from tulsa oklahoma, the south, and he’s twenty years old. assuming he didn’t take a gap year (i’m going off the musical sayin he had to drop out, instead of not go all together) he would’ve been in his second year of school.
(i’m putting a break here because this turned more into a headcanon than an analysis i fear)
and we know darry’s a lil extroverted social butterfly, i’m sure he made so many friends. do you think he told them he was going home for the weekend but would totally be back for that frat party? or do you think he had a best friend on campus that he couldn’t wait to introduce to his family and the gang because he just knew how’d great they’d get on?
because he’s at a state college likely, there’s gonna be greaser/soc rivalries still but chances are so high that the max tension will be arguments. so it’s likely he even got to (freely, and guilt free) make friends with socs.
his biggest worries sophomore year was if he would finish his homework and papers before the weekend so he could go home for his birthday. his biggest worry was working up the nerve to still his dad he blew his allowance that month on some girl. his biggest worry was struggling with being a first gen college student, juggling his papers and football practice, and his work study.
i’m willing to bet he didn’t even tell his parents he’d be home that weekend. i’m thinkin he told dally, because dally would likely forget to tell the others he was comin and everyone else can’t keep their mouths shut for shit.
i think he went to Oklahoma State, which is only 2 hours from tulsa. so, i’m thinking he caught the greyhound really really early that morning, like crackass of dawn early. and when he gets there it’s probably 6:00 and through the window darry can see his parents rousing soda and pony up for school. (school may start at 8:30, but they got two rowdy teenage boys one of whom hates school to get ready, they’ll wake up an hour earlier than necessary)
darry, in all his older brother glory, probably waits for the perfect moment to make his grand entrance. he’d wait until he hears ponyboy loudly complaining that “darry doesn’t have to wake up this early” and he fuckin grins because that’s the most perfect entry for him.
but he can’t get excited, not yet. he’s gotta act like it’s no big deal that he’s here, so he opens the door all casual like and starts toeing off shoes as he closes it behind him. and in his arrogant, i’m-the-eldest-of-course-i’m-right voice he says, “you’re so right, little brother. i actually woke up three hours ago.” and darry tries his damndest he really does, but he can’t help the way his chest loosens and his grin widens and it feels like every stressful thing he’d been worried about rolls off back when he hears the gasps and “sweet mother mary” from his family when he announces himself.
he probably doesn’t even get his second shoe off before he’s knocked to ground by pony (soda would have too, if he was anymore awake, instead he’s just staring at darry in confusion).
i’m gonna write a fic BUT BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING
do you think darry feels guilty for not having called ahead of time? do you think he wishes he stayed at school that weekend so parents wouldn’t have gotten in that wreck? do you think a small of darry, a part that he hates as each day passes, wishes that he let the social workers take his brothers? only to instantly regret that train of thought when his brothers crawl into his bed at 10pm trying to stop shaking and crying so they don’t “wake” darry
do you think that it was in that moment, that all those childhood jokes with his parents and phony arguments with paul suddenly became real. that sodapop and ponyboy are his babies. they may not be his in the same way that curly and angela are tim’s kids, but his friends at school are always sayin darry needs to stop referring to pony as his “littlest”.
we know darry didn’t cry at the funeral (or at all, at least to pony’s knowledge) but i really think college was such a breath of fresh air for darry that he was probably holding back sobs when he called his schools admission office to drop out.
i think before they could bury their parents properly, darry had to convince his brothers to go down to school with him so he could pack his things up. (i say convince because i think pony might’ve cried himself hoarse thinking that darry was going back to school and leaving them alone)
do you think darry cried the night before they went down to oklahoma state? because his friends were finally going to meet his littles that he could never seem to stop talking about. he’d have to find some way to apologize for missin the frat party (and his 20th birthday, hell, darry thinks his might’ve been more excited than he was) because saying his parents just died and he legally became a father of two is a little too comedic to sound real despite things.
or do you think he avoided his friends like the plague because he knows he’d break down if he saw their pitying eyes? he knew he’d break down if that one girl he couldn’t keep his eyes off of from his psych class saw him and soda carry his boxes to the car and stopped and ask him why he was leaving.
do you think after the funeral when darry made sure his brothers were alright, tucked in for bed and knew they could go find him if they needed anything at all, instead of going to his room he went to his parents room? just to feel their presence one last time. he probably went under their covers too, in the middle like when he was a kid so he could turn left and smell his daddy’s cologne or turn right and smell his mamas rosy perfume, just so he could get one more hug from them. just one more hug before he had to let them go
(do you think when ponyboy inevitably came lookin for darry to scare his nightmares away later that night he got scared when darry wasn’t in his room? do you think he started crying all over again unable to be tough because what if darry’s dead too or worse what if he really did leave them? do you think that’s when pony started sleeping with soda instead. that that’s when his image of darry being a hero cracked because what kind of hero leaves when people are still needing to be saved?)
#i’m stopping here because i lost the plot so bad#BUT#darry should’ve been figuring out his major#i’m writing this too#this got away from me#the outsiders#outsiders musical#ponyboy curtis#the darry kinning grows stronger#darry curtis#sodapop curtis#the outsiders broadway#the outsiders headcanons#the outsiders darry
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🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024 ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card
‘You’re always here. What are you doing?’
‘Nothing…nothing in particular.’
‘You’re Saibara’s grandson, right? Aren’t you working at the Blacksmith shop?’
‘I’m not interested in that. I want to go back to the city.’
‘Oh… I came from the city, too. My dad moved the family to this village because he was going to study plants. I felt lonely at first. But the people here are all very kind.’
‘I don’t feel lonely. But I can’t find what I want to do in this village.’
‘What is it you want that you can’t find here?’
‘Well, it’s…oh, nothing…’
‘My mother always says that if you can’t find what you want to do, then do what you can see to do now. Nobody finds what they want immediately. But if you waste your time every day because of that, you’ll never find anything... To tell you the truth, I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, either. See you.’
— Mary and Gray’s conversation from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature
SONG: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland
MOVIE: The Wizard of Oz (1939)
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 1 – Welcoming Love, True Love
VIBE: Ready for Your Love (feat. MNEK) by Gorgon City
end of a struggle – King of Swords
You’ve been incredibly and marvellously responsible for…quite a number of years, I think? For some of you maybe a couple of months or so. But your struggles have ended; nearing ending; or you just haven’t realised yet how everything has changed for the better now. If you take a moment to really notice yourself, I’m sure you can tell just how much clearer you’ve become about many things pertaining to your surrounding and sense of Self. I feel you’ve worked really hard to overcome excessive trauma noises that have caused you a great deal of psychological pain.
Starting this year, you can feel more confident in your intellectual capacity to gauge situations right in front of you. Making choices will be a lot easier now because you’re clear about who you are as a person and what it is you truly want out of your own existence. You’ve clearly set enough boundaries with those who didn’t have your best interest. Seems to me you’ve learnt the hard way to be more selfish in the spirit of self-preservation. And so, the adventure of a lifetime begins right this moment.
In fact, I feel like your entire Life up until this point has been quite the adventure—only it has been filled with sorrow and misery, sorta. Surely it was your Hero’s Journey taking shape for the early chapters of your Life’s Story. A slow burn of a lifetime, if you will. Beginning this year, you’re entering the most exciting part of your rise to glory and everlasting happiness!
in your favour – 8 of Pentacles
You’ve been hustling behind the scenes for the most part. At least, those who aren’t close to you will never know just how much work you’ve put into bettering your world from the inside out. You worked so much on your mindset; you must’ve exercised a lot, too; tried to eat more cleanly and healthily; worked on your glow-up; brushed your skills; etc. You were investing in yourself for the future vision you’ve always held close to your heart. And for that reason, the seeds are now blooming.
You’re making me think of the bamboo plant. Did you know that a bamboo seedling takes around 5-7, maybe even 8-10, years to gestate underground? All alone in the dark without anyone knowing what’s going on down there. And when the seedling shoots up to the surface, the bamboo plant is famous for being the fastest growing plant there ever is.
So yeah~ fast or no fast in your mind, the point is that you’ve done the work on yourself and all the plans you’ve ever had for your Life. This year, 2+0+2+4=8, is the year you reap all the rewards and grow even faster from where you are now. Whatever undertaking you begin this year will gain traction super fast! Pat yourself on the back because when things get super good, you deserve to take a small break and just enjoy how far you’ve come~! Breathe~
catching stars – Page of Wands
Your Story is totally far from finished. With the Page aenergy—a kid’s aenergy—you’re only on the precipice of entering a Life of passion and purpose. You could almost say, it’s a new Story altogether just because this chapter of your Life is SO SO SO super good in comparison to the chapters about your struggles. I guess you’d call this a new arc huehue
You’re young Hercules now. Pretty soon, there will occur some big event that propels you into a bona fide hero, and then, you’ll meet your Megara~ This part of your Story is where you enter a circle of true—at least truer—friends and lovers who will motivate you throughout the next chapters of your Life. Sure, sure, struggles don’t just end, poof, like that and you will continuously need to learn to sift through these new breeds of friends and acquaintances. But that’s also part of your next level growing up, so don’t sweat the possibilities XD
Throughout 2024, you could be moving to a new environment and then meet new friends. Highkey you’re gonna be meeting Soulmates and Soul Fam members; these are the people who resemble you so much either on the inside or outside. These are people who think like you, care about the same things as you; basically you’re gonna finally feel like you truly belong somewhere on this Planet. Love is in the air because you’ve been giving so much Love to yourself before this point. You are Love. You emanate Love wherever you go because you love yourself, and thus you become a magnet for people who also will love you just as good~
APPLE STRUDEL🔻💛
honey lemon juice – Silver Magus (Merlin)
have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Love
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 2 – Rising Up to Accept Yourself Wholly
VIBE: She Said from Kamikaze Girls
end of a struggle – Knight of Cups
You’ve kinda just gone through a death of a paradigm of sort. I feel that in the past, you simply didn’t really know who you were or what you were meant to be. This confusion of an identity was caused by your parents/caretakers not really appreciating you for who you were as a child or it could also be caused by your environment, race, culture, custom, tradition, stuff like that. It wasn’t your fault, you know. You literally grew up on your own and finally got clear about your own identity—you stopped caring if your real identity is too weird, too eccentric for this world.
Basically, you got tired of rejecting yourself. And you realised that you were doing that because you knew others wouldn’t accept you. Then you realised people are shitty and lame for the most part anyway, so you learnt to be OK with embracing all of your weird heart’s little desires. And you nurtured yourself and nurtured yourself until you rose above the lameness of most of Humanity. Did you know? You did the right thing, really. Through and through.
You’re definitely an Advanced Soul. I think even when you were a kid you always felt like there was some spirit/shadow parental figure walking behind you, guiding your thought processes. This older/bigger unseen figure was really just your own Higher Self, you know :D More than others would give you credit for, you’ve been such a good gal/boi for always listening to the guidance of your Higher Self~
in your favour – 3 of Pentacles
Beginning this year, you’re going to finally meet people who are similar to you. Similar as in, you’re going to meet a lot of colourful characters, really. People who also feel somewhat like society’s outcast. These people are going to come from various backgrounds and they will each have very interesting back stories and life experiences that will entertain you for a long time. These people could also have very strange, unusual hobbies that will spark your interest in new, alien pursuits.
With that said, this year could be the year you begin a new passion project of your own, with these people, new friends, you share a vision with. They do care about you and want to succeed together, so you can trust that these connections are going to bear sweet feelings for you. Most importantly, this year you’re going to know the sweet feeling of doing something meaningful with your natural talents born out of your innate interests. When you finally get the money, you will first and foremost taste gratitude from those who seem to love and enjoy what you do or have to offer~
Life really is getting better now because you’ve mustered the courage to explore your possibilities in all your eccentricity. Your Higher Self never meant for you to fit in anyway. You were always meant to be some sort of a genius trailblazer—a source of inspiration for the other lameass Humans who are too afraid to be themselves.
catching stars – 10 of Pentacles
What more can be said? On top of embracing yourself fully, loving yourself wholeheartedly, and meeting kindred spirits, you’re also going to gain a massive amount of money! Life’s always good when you have a lot of money! More money means a happier heart and more to share as well. But in your case, if you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, know that before a lot of money even trickles into your reality, it is the sense that you’re serving your Life Purpose what will make you feel rich.
After all, there could people reading this who came from a wealthy background and you may think you don’t crave or even care about money. Exactly. You never cared about a lack of money but didn’t you struggle with grounding yourself to this Reality because you didn’t know what you were put on Earth to do? This ‘10 of Pentacles sense of abundance’ encompasses a sense of material abundance that feels deserving; you can now feel worthy of getting paid for some passionate, incredible, show-stopping contribution you’ve made to society. Isn’t that such a wonderful feeling?
Some of you reading this could mend some broken bonds with family; some others could finally find a tribe—a Soul Family—and feel that you belong; some could start a family of your own with someone worthy of your high-grade affection. Congratulations~! You’ve really made it this far~ Things can only get better and better from here♥︎
APPLE STRUDEL🔻💗
honey lemon juice – Green Historian (Herodotus)
have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Patience
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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.
Pile 3 – Stepping On the Pedestal of Destiny
VIBE: Cheer Up, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
end of a struggle – King of Pentacles
If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, I just know it that you’ve been working so hard on yourself, on a level that’s practically incomprehensible for most people. I’m sure you’ve survived so many deaths of the spirit—and perhaps even some of the more dramatic attempts. And you’ve come on top of your misery now. You’ve gotten healthier and clearer about where you’re going next. I sense sometimes you still doubt yourself but it isn’t a sin to doubt, it’s just a sign that you want to do well. And on so many levels, sometimes you’re afraid because you genuinely want this dream/vision to happen to you.
I assure you with this reading that you’re on the fast track towards a rendezvous with Destiny. Fast…is honestly relative to each Soul’s blueprint tho XD Time is on your side and what’s meant for you can’t miss you. So chillax, OK? One thing to know about this great dream/vision of yours is that you’re going to see it manifest because you’re different from the rest. Different in that you want to see it manifest to be of service to the rest! When you really think about it…
Don’t you just know from deep within your Soul that you’re deserving of this great destiny? It’s because you’re going to serve a massive purpose with it! So many people would benefit from your realising this dream. And that’s the very thing! You’ve been holding on to this vision, and you want it, because you’re MEANT for it.
in your favour – 4 of Cups
I’ll be referencing the 1971 ver. of Willy Wonka here. And honestly, I think you should watch it by the weekend or something because that movie’s whole vibe will feel tremendously validating to you, I sense hahah
Have you heard of the theories that say Charlie was literally singled out by Willy Wonka from the very beginning? That he had chosen all of those horrible brats because he wanted to punish, oops, teach them a lesson, and that principally he had been watching Charlie and wanted HIM to inherit the Chocolate Factory. If you watch the 1971 film you’ll literally get it! And with this 4 of Cups, know that that’s how the Universe feels about you stepping into your destiny. Willy Wonka, or God idk, doesn’t want anybody else but YOU to fulfil this role~!
You’ve literally been chosen and singled out by the Universe to win the grand prize! Just so you know, as I’m typing these words I literally have the Willy Wonka movie playing on another window and as I typed ‘grand prize’, the person in the movie is saying it right at the same time at around the 19:11 minute mark. Things can’t get any more synchronous than that!🤯
This year, you’ll really see how every single thing is going to work out in your favour. And knowing the inner work you’ve done on yourself, I’m sure you’re spiritually mature enough to sense, to notice every small nudge that tells you what you need to do at a given time😊New adventures are just around the corner, baby~!
catching stars – 5 of Pentacles
So you see, how is 5 of Pentacles appearing for a segment about you catching stars? This is, in fact, reaffirming that your dream come true will also serve as a salve for those who are wounded and hurting. You really are a medicine for this sick world. This year, you’re going to see serendipitous events and meetings what will open the door towards the physical manifestation of your dream Reality. Once you step on to the pedestal of Destiny, there’s no stopping you. You’ll be moving so fast it drives you mad!
This card is also saying you must be careful of possible leeches coming towards you; it’s best to use caution and discernment when revealing to others your plans and goals. Be stingy with information as per your gut instinct’s nudges, OK? Be mature enough to know not everybody will be happy at the prospect of your massive success that could potentially change Mankind. People get envious of such ideas, alright? Be careful not to hit the already low self-esteem of some people around you LMAO
I also feel that this year you will begin new routines that benefit your health and physical strength. If this is something you’ve been working on, you will see this year that the implementation of these routines feels more natural and effortless. You’ve managed to master your thoughts, emotions, and time management—or soon to do. Money will also come more abundantly, so all your basic needs are easily met. You’ve become a magnet for good luck—or soon to notice you’ve done so!🍀
APPLE STRUDEL🔻🧡
honey lemon juice – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)
have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Innocence
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[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]
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