#mother is not impressed

[ellecdc]

WE LOVEEE BARTY x READER

mama feed us please

I’m gonna start smacking y’all’s hands I stg

I’m Marge and you’re all Homer.

[2-hours-of-sleep]

My mom is really bad at texting but out of context she just sounds extremely unimpressed by my work lmao

[hopelessgingerbread]

if I ever forget, please remind me that my mum is only okay with people expressing themselves as long as it’s not me expressing myself as queer and/or gender-nonconforming. I might have forgotten about it for a sec and now I’m feeling like shit.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

*SoTE spoilers undercut

This is a continued discussion in light of Marika's newly discovered tragedy. It changes so many things about how we look at the story thus far but more importantly - the DLC story trailer, especially this scene:

think about how Messmer knows, very acutely, that at one point his mother could have been cut up and put in a jar. and that his other kins were not so lucky....... it gives that scene such a tragic edge.

he wasn't doing this just for the violence. this is his answer to Marika's love and all she has done for him. yeah it's not right, it's not justified, but as something done to avenge for the kind of pain she went through? it won't be logical nor right but it's something he will do again without hesitation.

the infirmary in Shadow's Keep shows that he's trying to care for and save whatever left of her people. their people.

the line he said in his armor set description hits different when you consider all that. he wants to be the heir to all her sorrow and all of her pain. wishing that he could alleviate even just a bit of the burden of her grief and survivor guilt.

i wonder if, when Marika hid him in the Land of Shadow, fearing people will judge him for the malevolent snake he carried, she raised him in her home village? this will explain why the Tree Sentinels guarding the village drop two Blessing of Marika - the blessing that specifically stated Marika made it for Messmer's sake and him alone. it will also explain how he knew of his Mother's tragic past and took it upon himself to carry out her wish of vengeance for her people.

(also if you wanted to get to Marika's village, you have to perform the O Mother gesture before her statue in his Shadow Keep, implying he's guarding the way to her home village as well.)

One other thing I like is that in the story trailer, the heroic music sounds like it's for Miquella. and it is, in a way. it is his boss music, but the lyrics has "Ave Marika Aeterna" (Hail, Marika The Eternal).

Given that the boss arena is where Marika - the sole survivor of a whole village, walked through to salvage the remains of her people, making them the symbol of her divine ascension, I wonder if that OST is actually for her - the God, the woman whose story is finally realized in this DLC, and those female voices singing in honour of her are the spirits of her fallen kins: cheering on their last hope for justice. Through this girl, those people who had been wronged and died there will live on eternally.

All this of course seems like such a charitable take on all this, after all Marika ended up being just like the oppressors who used to put her people in jars, but I think I just want to appreciate how the environmental storytelling of this DLC is simply amazing. and once you consider that this is, in the end, Marika's story, everything will make a lot more sense.

[versias]

Demon Twins AU

- Maddie was trained by the League of Assassins and was sent back to America to pursue her theory that Lazarus water was ectoplasmic residue. She joined the only paranormal studies course in the country and met likeminded scientists Jack Fenton and Vlad Masters.

- Maddie fell in love with Jack and they pursued their research together, attempting to break into the “ghost zone”, the hypothetical in-between where the energy of death collected in order to collect pure ectoplasm samples. (And possibly capture a ghost for study.)

- They Sort-Of succeeded (sorry Vlad but science marches on) and Maddie proved ectoplasm and Lazarus water were related. LoA allowed her to stay and continue her research, providing her with funding so long as she sent reports. Occasionally she had to do a mission since she was in the area, but it was usually simple and low stakes.

- Then, when Jazz is 2 years old, Maddie is called back to the League to witness the birth of the Demon’s Heirs. The babies were grown in LW using her data so she basically has to become a physician for the babies.

- The younger twin’s heart stopped when he was pulled out of the water. She rushed to save him, using pure ectoplasm from her research and it worked. Even though Danyal is deemed the inferior twin, he’s kept alive and trained to act as a benchmark/motivation for the true heir Damian.

- Maddie falls in love with the little boy whose health she’s in charge of. Talia notes that this researcher cares for her child as if it was her own.

- When Ra’s decides to have Danny and Damian duel as a sort of initiation and trial to prove his worth as the heir (something that leaves psychological scars on both Danny and Damian, thanks Ra’s.), Damian kills Danny and Maddie is devastated over the body.

- Talia grabs her and the body and sneaks them into the Lazarus pits to bring her child back. Then she hands Danny to Maddie and tells her to raise him as her own, protect him as her own, and she will erase Maddie’s debt to the league.

- Maddie runs with her new son back to America and tells her family that the job she had is completed and “hey Jack sorry I forgot to mention our son I was so caught up in my work! Yeah, whenever I visited five years ago I got pregnant and forgot to mention it! Whoopsie daisy!”

- Jack believes this because he’s forgetful sometimes and also why would his lovely, beautiful, brilliant wife lie to him. He welcomes five year old Danny into his life as his son despite him only superficially looking like him and for some reason having much darker skin. Who knows, genetics isn’t his area of expertise!

- Besides even if Maddie lied to him she probably had a good reason! He’s always wanted a son anyway!!

- Jazz is far more suspicious of this but she’s all of seven and also this poor kid looks terrified and traumatized so. She’ll let it go. And also help him settle in, as is right for a Big Sister.

- Danny has psychological and physical scars but grows up loved and cared for. He misses his brother, but he wasn’t worthy to stand beside him—grandfather said so and it must be so. He didn’t want to be a weight on his brother’s neck, dragging him down

- He makes friends with Tucker and then Sam who don’t judge him for strange mannerisms and who like him for who he is.

- Maybe it’s not the life he would have chosen for himself, but it is a good life. He decides he can be happy here in Amity Park, secure in the knowledge that his brother was off conquering and thriving.

- Then Maddie and Jack finish the Portal, which would theoretically allow travel into the Ghost Zone to continue their work. The pinhole fractures they can now reliably create to power weapons and technology prove the theory and this is the next step!

- Danny Dies In The Portal and a hole is ripped open between worlds. DP series takes place as normal!

- Mixed Reveal since Maddie and Jack are researchers first and foremost. They don’t want to hurt their children but they want to study! They capture a different ghost so they can learn more about how the anatomy works, because they need to take care of their half-ghost son.

- Danny is appalled and horrified to find them dissecting some struggling specter. They are so fucking earnest about it, trying to tell him that they want to make sure they understand how he’s put together so if he gets hurt they can help and it’s not like they can Kill ghosts so it’s only a temporary necessity in pursuit of knowledge!!

- Danny releases the ghost and later, steals their research and destroys the portal. He flees. He knows they won’t hurt him but he thought they wouldn’t Do That either and they did so he’s terrified.

- Danny’s friends help him escape and set up a fake id and passport. His plan is to get to Gotham and find the Bat who will hopefully be able to Adult this situation. He’s not expecting to be welcomed as his son; by all accounts the Batman has no idea Talia even made children with his DNA so he isn’t even going to mention being his son.

- Meanwhile Damian has been Robin for four years and slowly adjusting to his new normal. He doesn’t think about his dead brother; he isn’t allowed to, and though he’s left the league, the league has not left him entirely.

- He is patrolling with his father when an unknown teenager flags them down. Batman is suspicious of course but the kid seems to be earnestly calling for help. He has Robin hang back out of caution and approaches the unknown himself.

- Holy Fuck He Looks Like Damian

- He doesn’t act like a clone or anything. He has an impressively obvious midwestern accent and uses slang like a typical teen. He tells him, a little hysterically, about his parents being scientists and the fucking portal to hell they opened in their basement, about finding them experimenting on an inter-dimensional being that may or may not be an actual human spirit, and briefly details taking his sisters car across four states in a manic road trip to find the Batman.

- Batman is like, why me? There are closer heroes. Why not call the justice league hotline?

- “Hoo boy Mr. Batman see the thing is Amity Park is Dangerous and full of ghosts so I didn’t want metas showing up where they’d get overshadowed and I’d have to? Like? Fight a possessed Superman or something.”

- Why would you be the one fighting??

- Danny is impressively bad at keeping his mouth shut about secrets but to be fair, he’s meeting his father for the first time and the Batman is super cool and intimidating and also he’s remembering his mom and his brother and that’s reminding him of his new family and how everything has probably irreparably fallen apart and oh no

- Oh no he’s crying in front of Batman. Oh fuck, he’s sobbing in front of his father and this is his first impression. Oh ancients he’s never gonna want anything to do with Danny after this mess and it’s not like he was going to say anything but apparently there was this small hope at the bottom of his heart that he’d be welcomed and loved. That somehow his Father would just know this was his son and hug him and make everything better.

- Batman is awkwardly trying to decide if he wants to risk hugging a dangerous unknown, unstable possible-meta-adjacent teenager while he’s having a breakdown on a rooftop when Robin lands next to him and says something that freezes the blood in Bruce’s veins:

- “Brother?”

[duahauuoplanh]

10 years. I've been looking for my mom for 10 years..

[probablybadrpgideas]

Swear Words By Fantasy Language

Common: hit your thumb really hard and see!

Dwarvish: Dwarves don’t have any swear words. Rather, a Dwarf must show their craftsmanship by combining non-swear words in a vulgar way. You’ve not been truly offended until a dwarf calls you a house-painting-horse-bargainer.

Elves: Elvish has exactly one swear word, and each elf can only use it once in their life. If uttered it kills all plant life in 300ft and everything capable of hearing must make a wisdom saving throw or disintegrate on the spot.

Giant: Giant contains such swearwords as “double fuck”, which is like normal fuck but twice as big.

Gnomish: Gnomish uses things like ���tax returns” and “fiscal responsibility” as swear words. Mentioning your accountant will have you thrown out of respectable gnomish society

Goblin: Honestly, it’s easier to list the words in goblin that aren’t swear words.

Halfling: Halfling has incredibly harsh swear words, to the surprise of everyone when this pastoral little man toddling around a farm and eating muffins calls you a motherfucking shithead cockface

Draconic: Draconic swear words translate to things like “gosh darn it” and “oh heckers” but, to be fair, they come off as more serious when roared at you while you’re on fire.

Orcish: Orcish contains no swear words. Don’t assume based on stereotypes.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was deeply in love with a prince and I could feel in my soul that he was my soulmate, but then he did a really bad Elmo impression, like he sounded like Yoda, so I hooked up with his adopted dragon brother and his dad tried to behead me but then his mom saved me by hiring me to be her gardener.

[cuepickle]

Stranger Things x Breakfast Club AU (part ?)

[cinnamorwll]

tumblr is so cool i mean i could just post stuff like this

[hercarisntyours]

musical statues ass poses

[rintoorou]

having the miya twins as your brothers would mean them betting over who’d cry on your wedding first

[tricoufamily]

THE BITCH IS BACK (jacques, not me fuck you)

next

[captainrufflebanger]

I can have two comfort characters from the same game right?

My version of the "draw you comfort characters as the Steven meme" twitter post

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

God can you imagine? If Rangi and Kyoshi really were BOTH oblivious about their own feelings this entire time???? Can you imagine the talks Hei-Ran and Kelsang probably tried to have???? TT0TT

Hei-Ran: I've noticed you've been.....running a lot more lately. Rangi: Yeah. Hei-Ran, trying to solve what strange mating ritual her daughter is performing: Is there someone you.... like? Romantically or....otherwise? Rangi: No? Why would you think that? Hei-Ran: I....I don't....know just.... What are your thoughts on Kyoshi? Completely unrelated. Rangi: She's a good friend. Would probably die for her. Might explode if she holds my hand. That's normal with friends, right? Hei-Ran, trying not to cry: I see. Kelsang: Kyoshi do you like anyone? Kyoshi: Me?! NO! Never! Who is this "anyone" you speak of? Hahahaha Yun didn't say anything to you, did he? Kelsang, really confused: Yun???? No- I just. Um. Rangi- Kyoshi, grabbing Kelsang by the shoulders: RANGI SAID SOMETHING?! Kelsang: She said you were running late! Um, what do you think she meant? Kyoshi: I DON'T KNOW! I think I need to clean, yes, this'll keep my aching heart from hurting! *runs off* Kelsang: So her heart aches when she's thinking of Rangi???? TT0TT Kyoshi we need a talk please come baaaaack!

[weardes]