#mostly just did work today since it's a weekday

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

you and Foul Legacy taking a day off and baking a cake together. it's a messy affair with many flour handprints and broken eggs, but eventually the cake comes out, baked to perfection. you let Legacy taste test the frosting, of course, his happy chitters telling you all you need to know. yet once the cake is ready, Legacy is more focused on lavishing you with affection, lifting you up and spinning you around with a cheerful chirp before he licks your cheek, happily thinking of the gifts that he and Childe procured for you, wrapped in pretty bows and paper.

everything for you, on this special day.

[onlyjaeyun]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟏

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟕𝐤

↬ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐃𝐃/𝐋𝐆 (𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝟎𝐦/𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥) 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

The buzzing of your phone on the nightstand wakes you up from your dreamless sleep and just as you're about to move around to turn your alarm off, you're reminded of the strong arm around your waist as it pulls you further into the warm chest pressed into your back.

It's only then that you remember how and who you fell asleep next to, a cheeky smile creeping up on your face as soon as the realisation hits you.

Jongseong is still in bed with you. On a weekday.

To your surprise, he's not only still in bed with you but seems to be peacefully asleep, something you're not quite used to when it comes to your hardworking boyfriend.

In the back of your mind you had hoped that he'd stay, especially after a night like yesterday's, yet for some reason you didn't allow yourself to indulge in those hopes, as you were too scared of them being empty yet again.

It doesn't take much longer for more images of the previoos nught to sneak into your head, but for the first time in your life you know you won't let them win no matter what.

You haven't fell asleep and woken up next to your boyfriend in weeks, there's no way you're going to let your anxiety and destructive brain take this away from you again.

There's so much to unpack about the whole situation about your brothers and the bodyguards, you know Jongseong will want to talk about, but you simply don't have the mental energy to waste on those men anymore. You've been fightem then alongside your mental demons for the past two decades and dor the first time in your life you just want to live a single day without thinking about them for once.

Of course this won't make them any less dangerous or threatening, but it will give you the temporary inner peace you need and mostly deserve.

So, determined to not waste any more of your energy on those stupid bastards, you let out a soft sigh and turn around in Jongseong's arms to bury your face in the crook of his warm neck, inhaling his sweet scent the way you did to fall asleep and enjoying every single second of this rare occasion.

Unfortunately you're very much aware of the fact that your second alarm is going to go off any second now as the both of you have to get ready for work.

"Jongie", you whisper against his soft skin and pull your head back to have a good look ag him, hating yourself and the universe for having to wake him up.

He hasn't slept longer than four hours ever since your trip to Jeju and you can't wait to basically kidnap him to a different city and just make sure that man finally gets the sleep him and his body need.

"Wake up, my love", you sigh and place a soft kiss on his chin, "we have to get ready for work."

The sweet sound of your voice gently pulls him into consciousness, something he has yet to get used to, especially after unintentionally depriving himself of it for so long. As your words slowly push their way through the sleepy fog in his head, Jongseong suddenly deicdes to adapt to a completely new routine just to wake up like this until his last day on this earth.

"We're both calling in sick", he suddenly grunts, his voixe deeper and raspier than usual, the sound so unfamiliar, it leaves you lightheaded and shoots a jolt of hot arousal right in between your legs.

"We can't just do that, pretty face", you say with a soft chuckle, hoping for the aching in your lower body to just disappear if you try to overplay it hard enough, "we have meetings and appointments with important clients today."

"Why not? I'm the CEO and owner of the company, they should be grateful I even considered giving them some of my precious time. They can wait a day or two."

Jay's words surprise you as much as they turn you on and you hate your body for betraying you like this. Today is probably just an exception yet you can't help but feel your hopes rising all the way to the sky.

You try to think of something to respond, but you're too mesmerized by the sight of a sleepy Park Jongseong. The way his hair is messily falling into his slightly flushed face, eyes hooded as they're getting used to the sunlight exposure, his pretty lips pushed into a cute little pout and his big hand gently caressing your back.

The longer you look at him, the more you fall in love with him and for a moment you forget whag the two of you were even talking about.

"Don't look at me like that, Baby or I'll make them wait a week or two", Jay teases softly, his hand now moving to your thigh as the other one remains underneath your waist, busy drawing random circles into your skin through the thin fabric of your camisole.

"Oh", you blurt when you realise how obviously you've been staring at him as embarrassment quickly takes over your body, "I'm sorry, Jongie, I didn't mean to. You just look really pretty when you wake up."

"My sweet little angel baby", Jay begins and pushes the bem of your camisole all the way up to your hips, exposing your bare thigh to his greedy touch so easily, "don't ever be sorry for eyefucking me with those pretty eyes. I fucking love seeing you so needy for me."

You're visible surprised at his response, forgetting that your boyfriend has always read your facial expressions as well as your bidy language quite easily and for some reason you can't help but feel even more embarrassed.

"What's going through that sweet head of yours, Baby? Why are you so hesitant?"

You nervously pull your bottom lip in between your teeth as a wave of shame overwhelms you, yet you can't really put a name on the reason behind it.

The past few weeks you've always been the one to initiate intimacy and after losing yourself in quite a few anxious thoughts the previous night, you can't help but let them win yet again.

You know Jongseong's been quite busy, nobody knows it as good as you do. However him not initiating anything these past few weeks has definitely made you feel anlot more insecure than you would like to admit, simply because it feels like he only does it for you and not because he actually wants it.

"I'm sorry for always being so needy", you whisper and bury your face in his neck, "I don't mean to push you so much."

Jongseong is flabbergasted, to say the least.

He's never expected this to be the reason for your change in demeaner and as the realisation hits him, he can't help but let okt a lighthearted chuckle.

"Oh, Baby", he sighs and reaches for your cheek to pull your face away from his neck and meet your glossy gaze, "do you really feel guilty for wanting me so often?"

"Yes", you don't hesitate with your response, too lost in the way he's looking at you with such sweetness and adoration, "you usually don't iniate intimacy and it made me realise that maybe you don't actually want me as often as I want you."

Yet again, Jongseong feels overwhelmed by your statement. Never in a million years could he have expected your thoughts to be as mean as this and as his eyes roam your soft face, his heart aches in his chest.

"And that's okay. I know I can be insatiable sometimes. I hope you know that doesn't mean I only want you for your body. You're so much more to me than sex, I just have a very high libido." Your voice is small and uncertain, filled with insecurity and self doubt, a sound so heartbreaking, Jongseong feels his chest tightening in despair.

"Come here, Baby", is the first thing your sleepy boyfriend replies before he pushes the blanket away from your bodies and guides you to straddle his lap.

You physically can't stop a tiny little gasp to leave your lips as you come in sudden contact with the hard bunge in Jong's boxer briefs, something you haven't felt this way in a lot longer than you thought.

It's not like the two of you hadn't fucked each other in the past few weeks, unfortunately there was never much time for any foreplay and it usually ended in a quickie which stilled your hunger for a few hours. Most of the time Jongseong made sure to have you fall apart on his fingers first followed by him doing just the right things with his cock to drive you into insanity. He also tried his best to give you just enough aftercare to help you regain your composure but you couldn't help but crave more. The lack of actual sensitivity in those moments was probably what resulted in your insatiable hunger for him and his touch.

Without missing a beat, you press your hands flat against his inked chest, caressing the soft skin and circling your hips without even realising it.

"My soft little angel girl", Jongseong sighs and starts kneading the soft flesh of your thighs in his hands, "I'm sorry for not talking to you about this more. Your silly little brain probably gave you such a hard time about this, didn't it?"

"Yes, Jongie", you sigh and look at him with needy, glossy eyes, a sight so pure, so beautiful, the young man has yet to get used to it's effects on his body.

"And is that the reason why you've been more hesitant about indulging in the whole Daddy thing lately, Baby?", he calmly responds as his eyes never once shift away from your face and where you feel like a kid being caught doing something they're not supposed to do, your boyfriend seems more than just amused by your responsive body language.

"I guess it is. But I promise I didn't do it intentionally."

"You're so fucking cute", is his instinctive response to your answer and with a soft sigh, you push your lips into a pout and let your hands find his on your thighs, absentmindedly playing with his pretty fingers to distract yourself from the feeling of embarrassment filling your veins.

"My Baby", Jay then begins, his voice slightly deeper as he notices the feeling of your wetness making its way through the thin fabric of your panties, "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend lately and I promise you to make up for every sinfle doubt and bad thought I've caused you."

You're about to interrupt his little apology and reassure him, but Jongseong doesn't let you. He's determined to say what he's been dying to for the past fourtyeight hours and no matter how badly you want him to believe that his behavior is somehow justified and okay, he knows it's not and that's why he won't allow you to intervene. Not this time.

Before your brain can even process it, you find yourself on your back, your boyfriend casually moving to lay in between your legs. Jay's face is as close to yours as physically possible and his nose gently nudges yours before he places the most delicate kiss on your parted lips.

"I haven't paid much attention to you and didn't make any efforts to actively include you into my daily routine outside of work and that wasn't okay. Yet, I hope you know that from now on that's going to change", with every single one of his words, Jay pushes you deeper into the mattress until you can practically feel his heart beating against your chest.

"No more early mornings to work out and as little long days as possible. It took me a bit but I finally realised that I am the boss and I do have the privilege to cancel and postpone appointments to make time for my girl. It won't always be like that and at times I'll be at work more than I'd like to be but at the end of the day I'm always going to try my best to come home to fall asleep with you. Not after you."

Jongseong doesn't give you enough time to actually process his sweet words as he pulls you into a hungry kiss and allows you to lose youdself in the sweet feeling of comfort and warmth it comes with.

Just as usual, Jay's kisses are slow and sensual. At first. But the harder he starts grinding his hard cock against your clothed cunt, the sloppier and needier they become. It doesn't take much time for your usually so composed boyfriend to grunt and moan into your mouth, loving the way you swallow every single one of his noises.

"And please don't ever be sorry for wanting me so often. Touching you, being intimate with you, being the one to pleasure you – and everything it comes with, is a privilege to me. Knowing you want me so much is what keeps me sane, Baby", Jay looks at you with soft eyes and just as usual, the expression in his gaze matches his words perfectly. It's like he makes sure you can physically see how honest he's being with you.

"I need it, angel girl", he suddenly grunts and buries his face in your neck, "Daddy needs you to need him, Baby. It's everything I've been daydreaming about for all my life. To be needed, wanted and loved by my person. By you. Please, don't take this away from me."

You're hearing his little pleas and his sweet, needy request, yet you're brain is already too fogged up by all the arousal rushing through your body as the tip of his clothed cock hits your sensitive clit with every single one of his precise thrusts.

"Louder, Baby", Jay suddenly commands, the urge to hear your moans and whimpers overwhelming him after the both of you had to keep quiet the last few times you've gotten intimate.

"Please, Daddy", your response comes quicker and more desperate than you expected it to, but you're simply too far gone already to care.

"What do you want, angel girl? Use those big girl words for Daddy, I know you can do it."

You start nodding like your life depends on it, your hands find home in his thick hair as Jongseong slowly kisses his way down your neck and to your cleavage, sucking the skin into his mouth every now and then right before his hands grab the hem of your camisole and pull it over your head in one swift motion.

"There she is, my perfect little angel", Jongseong sighs and comes to sit up on his knees right between your legs.

"Please, Daddy", you whimper yet again, reaching for his hands to get him to just somehow touch your needy cunt again.

You subconsciously wait dor him to scold you for not doing as you're told, however you definitely don't expect him to land a harsh spank on your clothed cunt. The stinging pain sends you into the sweetest haze of pleasure and with your head thrown back into the pillow, you struggle to build a single rational thought.

"Good girls use their words when they want something", Jay says sternly, his eyes hooded yet filled with such intense hunger, you feel your juices drip out of your clenching hole the longer you look at him.

"I need you to", you're still hesitant but quickly realise that there's no way Jong's going to give into your little insecurities now, so without wasting any more time, you blurt out the rest of your request.

"Eat my pussy", you dig your nails into his wrist as the pain of his tight grip on your inner thigh has your head spinning like crazy, "please, Daddy. I need you to eat my pussy, wanna cum all over your face."

"There you go, that's my good girl. Was that so hard, Baby?"

Jay can't help but feel amused by the sweet look of embarasin your eyes as you look at him, lips parted, hair messy, legs spread wide enough to put your drenched panties on full display for his hungry gaze.

"Don't tease me", you spit and roll your eyes in faux annoyance, followed by desperately trying to hide just how flustered you are because of the breathtakingly beautiful smirk grazing his plumps lips.

"Now, that was a mistake, pretty girl", Jay chuckles and lets his fingers graze your inner thigh right before he lands another hard spank on your sensitive pussy.

"You know I'll just tease you even more if you tell me not to."

"Daddy, please touch me. No more spanks. Need you to touch me."

For a moment you're genuinely surprised by your lack of hesitance but then again it makes sense as all your senses are captivated by Park Jongseong's sweet scent, his touche and his taste lingering on your tongue like a drug.

Jongseong doesn't say a single word until bends down to push his cheek against your inner thigh, dangerously glose to where you need him the most.

The fact you're still very much wearing your now ruined panties is definitely not helping with your impatience.

"Beg a little more, pretty girl", Jay teases and pulls the soaked fabric to the side only to blow cold air against your sensitive flesh.

"F-Fuck", you're quick to arch your back in hopes of getting him to finally do what you've asked for multiple times by now, only for Jay to pull away with another row of soft chuckles.

"Aww, look at my Baby. You're so needy, angel girl. Apparently too needy to use your manners for Daddy, hm?"

"Please", you beg softly, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes and you tighten your grip on his thick hair, "please, Daddy. I've been waiting so long for this. Don't I deserve this?"

And that little rhetorical question is what has Jongseong halt his movements like he's jusg seen a ghost.

"Of course, princess", your boyfriend whispers with tiny bits of guilt gleaming in his sweet eyes, "of course you deserve this."

If your brain wasn't as clouded by the arousal, you would have had enough time to feel bad about using such strategies to get what you want but after barely remembering what his mouth feels like on you, you can't help but feel grateful it worked. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Before either one of you can get out another word, Jongseong finally licks a long strip over the length of your soaked cunt followed by shameleslly sucking your sensitive kiss into his mouth and teasing it with the tip of his tongue.

The suddenness of his actions knock every last breath out of your lungs and with a loud gasp you push your hips further into his face, back arched and head thrown back with the loudest moan of his name.

It doesn't take much for Jongseong to completely lose himself in the sweet taste of your juices as he laps up every single drop, filling the room with loud sucking and slurping noises as well as his muffled moans the second he pushes his tongue into your tight hole.

You can tell how hard he's trying to maintain his composure but every time your gaze meets his, you realisd how far gone he already is. Eyes hooded, cheeks flushed, half of his face coated in your wetness as he digs his bails knto your soft thighs to keep your legs firmly spread for his hungry mouthy.

With every skill flick of his tongue against your hardened clit, you feel yourself inching closer and closer to the edge, the taste of your sweet relief coating the entirety of your mouth and consuming your senses in the best way possible.

Not a single coherent sentence falls past your lips as the tension in your lower stomach increases and you feel yourself getting closer and closer.

"Do it, princess", Jay suddenly grunts and lifts his hand up to land a row of hard slaps against your overly sensitive pussy, the stinging pain sending your brain into overdrive and your eyes into the back of your head.

"I can feel it, you're so close. Come on, cum for Daddy, Baby. Make me proud. Claim me as yours. Cum all over my fucking face like rhe perfect princess you are."

And maybe it's the way his deep voice so close to your cunt sends vibration through your body or maybe it's the way his thumb has made it its mission to rub firm circles into your sensitive clit or maybe, just maybe it's the way he's tamking to you, but regardless of the reason, the coil kn your lower stomach still snaps as soon as your brain has processed his words.

Your high washes over you in several waves, pussy clenching down around nothing as Jay has long taken his fingers out of your tight hold to watch your juices drip out of you as you cum for him. It takes you a moment to realise that your sight has blurred and you feel your ears ringing from the intensity of your orgasm, something you've only ever experienced with Park Jongseong before and have yet to get used to.

You have absolutely no idea how much time goes by until your breathing finally goes back to normal and when your eyes meet the sighg of your boyfriend's habdsome face still firmly buried in your pussy, you nnow exactly why it took you as long as it did.

"Up here, Daddy", you pout and push your hand into his hair to grab a fistful of the thick strands and make him look at you, "can you fuck me now, please? I need to feel you fill me up with your cum so bad."

Jay smiles lazily, still quite drunk on the taste of your cum on his tongue as he's missed it a lot more than he expected. He hasn't had time to eat you out for who knows how long and it's when you look at him with big eyes and parted lips thag he decides to make it part of his new daily routine.

Not a day shall pass by where he doesn't eat rhe sweetest pussy he's ever had or he'll be dammed.

"Sorry, Baby", he sighs and absentmindedly pulls his boxer briefs down his thick thighs, revealing his painfully hard cock to your hungry eyes, "missed eating that pussy to much so i got a little dizzy. Don't think I'll last as long as usual so I might need some help."

You nervously start nibbling on your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue, the excitement bubbling and boiling in your loser tummy as your cunt clenches in response to the throbbing of his cock in his hand.

"Be a good girl for Daddy and rub that pretty clit for me, hm? Wanna cum with you this time but I'm so sensitive already. It's been so long since I've had you like this, Baby."

"Yes, Daddy, anything for you."

Your sweet words of affirmation elicit the sweetest moan from your boyfriend's throat and you attentively watch the way his hips halt their movements for a moment in response to you.

To your luck, Jay seems a lot more impatient than he claimed as he's quick to rub the tip of his sensitive cock against the wet flesh of your cunt, coating his whole length in your juices right before he lines himself up with your entrance.

"Look at Daddy, pretty girl", Jong grunts and pushes his tip inside of your tight hole just enough to reach for your free hand and intertwine your fingers with his, while his other one finds his way around your delicate throat.

"I love you", are the first tjing to leave his plump lips the second he pushes ghe first two inches of his thick cock into the tightness of your pussy, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as soon as you start clenching around him.

"Relax, angel girl. We still have a few more inches to. Daddy needs you to relax so it doesn't hurt, yeah? Be good for me, Baby."

You start nodding impatiently, almost instinctively rubbing firm circlers into your sensitive bundle of nerves the way your biyfriend did it just a few minutes ago, knowing exactly how you like it and how to get yourself to the edge as fast as possible again.

Your body slowly gets rid of the last bit of tension when Jongseong bends down to press his lips against your, not caring about how soft or sweet the kiss is, but rather focusing on the taste of your spit coating the muscle of his tongue.

By the time he finally bottoms out, you can feel your breath hitching in your throat, the feeling of being filled to the absolute brim overwhelming you just as usual.

"So fucking tight", Jay whimpers into your ear, not awake or sober enough to care about the way he sounds, "you're going to make me cum so hard, Baby. Fuck, I won't last l-long, I'm sorry."

"No, Daddy, don't be", you're quick to reassure your boyfriend, pulling on his hair and öoving your hips to meet his little thrusts, appreciative of the way he's still giving you time to adjust to his impressive size, "am close already, too. Wanna cum with you, please."

"Yeah, Baby? Gonna make a mess of Daddy's cock and cum all over me like the good girl you are, right? Go ahead then, angel girl", Jongseong's voice grows raspier, deeper and more hoarse as the pleasure and meed for relief overwhelms his whole body in the best way possible, "cum for me. Claim your man. Show me what only you get to do with my cock."

It's those exact words which push you over the edge headfirst the second time wighin just a few minutes. Jay always knows exactly what to say, he knows how possessive you are and how much yoj love claiming him. Hearing him confirm your thoughts and wants so casually never fails to leave yoj completely breathless.

And as your tight cunt starts spasmkng around his iverly sensitive cock, Jongseong quickly buries his face in your negk with a loud moan of your name right as he cums in three thick spurts and coats the soft walls of your cunt in several shades of white.

Nothing but your joined heavy breathing and the thrumming of your heartbeat in your throat fills your ears for a good five minutes, Jong's cock occasionally twitching inside of you before the sensitivity becomes too much for the both of you and he decides to pull out with a soft pout on his plump lips.

You allow yourself to devour the sight of his flushed skin, from his cheeks all the way down to his lean chest covered in the prettiest shade of pink, his messy hair falling into his face and reminding you both of his need of a haircut.

"Shower or some more sleep?" Jay mumbles softly againsg dour lips and pushes the few strands of hair away from your pretty face to get a better look at you.

"We have to go to work, Daddy", you reply instead and earn youeself another roll of his eyes.

"Your boss doesn't feel very well so he wants you to cancel all of his appointments for today. He said he needs to have some one on one time with his beautiful girlfriend or he'll actually die in agonising pain."

His exaggeration has you both burst into a fit of laughter and without even thinking of protesting any further, you just pull him into your chest and enjoy the feeling of his breathing against your neck as you both allow yourself to take a whole day off of your regular routine.

Being girlfriend and boyfriend for a whole day and nothing but that.

Just this once.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: and here we are 🤪 i know you guys probably expected smth else after the prev chap was sp emptional but i missed writing smut for them so ive been thinking about it all day and wanted to give this to you guys as 1) a little thank you for all the love ln strictly business and 2) as a was to apologize for all the heart reak in future chapters!🤕 thank you so much for everything babies, i love you so much. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!!!!💞🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jjaeyuns @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @jseongies @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

[aphroditesmoon]

Could you write Xavier X FemReader in which the reader is Wednesday’s family member (sister, cousin, etc) and her and Xavier we starting to get close then all of a sudden her starts acting cold/rude so she thinks she did something wrong and he hates her when in reality Xavier has started being mean is because he’s been in love with her since he saw her but she’s been getting really close with Tyler so she confronts him and he does an angry love confession????

it's you I think of

xavier thorpe x reader

summary: xavier tries to win the heart of the other addams sister, but she just doesn't seem to get the message.

warnings: bit angst but mostly fluff

A/N: Thanks for requesting anon! hope you like this!

°°°

"So, is your name based on weekdays too or?" The long haired boy started as he stands beside you, observing your position as you shoot your arrow and misses again.

You sigh and he steps closer with your back to his chest as he guides your hand with the arrow. "Here, like this."

You feel your heart speeds up but says nothing as you watch him take the lead and hits the arrow straight to the aim.

He slowly steps aside and smiles at you. You give a small smile and gives him your name.

He fakes gasp, "Oh she speaks?" When you roll your eyes and drop your smile he immediately makes it clear he was just joking.

"I know, I'm not easily offended, there's been worse things said to me." You state, picking up another arrow to practice.

"So, do I have to assume you are as terrifying as your sister?" He asks with a teasing grin.

"Oh no, I'm afraid she has already claimed the title of homicidal psychopath in our family, truly the pride and joy of the Addams name. As for me, You'll learn soon enough." You explain, this time your arrow hits straight to the aim, You lower your bow in pride.

"So you mean to say we might end up close enough for me to learn about you myself?"

he had too many questions.

You shook your head and thank him for his lessons before walking away to your dorm room.

°°°

Despite being roommates with Yoko, she has not made a single effort to befriend you, as glad as you are for the peace, you could tell it's because of the growing closeness between you and Xavier, the girls were ignoring you in solidarity to Bianca.

You were thankful for that.

It wasn't that you asked Xavier to befriend you, but he was persistent in knowing you, and he seems to respect your boundaries enough to not push you or cross the line, so you accepted his friendship, it was nice to share the quietness with someone else sometimes.

He has even let you sit in the corner of his shed to watch him paint and sketch.

That was probably your favourite activity these days, the comfortable silence and watching him fully concentrate on his artworks.

Today was one of the days you'd get to watch him work, he had sat beside someone else during their classes together that afternoon, but you assumed their routine still remained.

Walking towards the shed, you notice chains around the handles of the door. It was definitely locked as you try to pull it off.

This was confusing, if he wasn't coming today then why wouldn't he tell you?

Bumping into Bianca as you're walking back to your dorm, you gave it a chance and asked her if she knew where Xavier was.

Her scoff and smile was mocking. "Aw, did he finally decide drop your deadweight of an ass?"

You raise your eyebrows at her challenged.

"That's weird, last time I checked, it was you that got dumped." Indulging in her baffled expression, You walk past her to continue looking for your friend.

He wasn't in the library or any of the classes. The last place there was to check was his room, a place you don't think you're allowed to.

°°°

The next day was busy as everyone prepared for the rave'n dance. You weren't much of a partier, but you had hoped to ask a certain someone, so you made an effort to search for a decent enough dress.

You snatched the first dress that caught your attention, not liking the whole experience you had force yourself to go through. It was emerald coloured dress, giving in to the assigned flora and fauna theme this year.

Stepping into the local coffee shop, you were met with Tyler as he prepared you your usual.

"You look burnt out, went hiking or something?" He questions.

You chuckled. "Dress shopping." He raises his eyebrows and grin.

"Oh you're going to Rave'n then? Didn't seem like the type that would, got a date?"

Your smile slowly drops as you shook your head.

He nods understanding. "Well, I mean, if you're looking for one, I'm always free this Saturday." He winks and you bite your cheeks.

His attention snaps to the door as the bell rings.

and a customer enter. You turn around and widen your eyes in suprise to see Xavier.

His too as he takes your appearance in.

He walks closer, turning to look at Tyler, then back at you.

Tyler uncomfortably backs away from leaning at the counter to you and clears his throat.

"Uh, want a coffee?" He asks Xavier slowly.

He nods carefully, before taking a seat next to you, watching Tyler move to the espresso machine.

"Didn't know you two are friends." He starts.

You let out an annoyed laugh and glares at him.

"Really?" He blinks, not understanding what you mean.

"You don't answer my texts, didn't tell me you weren't going to be at the shed, and now you're talking to me like you haven't been ignoring me?" You snapped.

"Wha- I've been busy, I forgot-"

"You've been busy, you forgot, which one is it?" You Interrogate.

"Both! Look, I'm sorry alright, I should've let you know, I forgot." He explains as Tyler brings you both your coffee.

Xavier's eyes wanders to the paperbag in your hand. "Is that a dress? You're going to the rave'n?" He asks suspiciously.

"Why shouldn't I?" You ask defensively.

"I didn't say you shouldn't, I just- I mean, do you have a date?"

You instinctively nodded. "I'm... going with Tyler! Right, Tyler?" You immediately turn to him, silently begging him to agree.

Tyler, playing along, nods and confirms.

Xavier's expression changed, and the guilt in his eyes turns blank as he processes what you said.

"Oh." Disappointment laced his voice for some reason. He snatch his coffee and stand to leave. "I'll uh, see you later then." He says briefly before leaving.

you feel the pit of your stomach churn as you thank Tyler.

°°°

The Rave'n dance was unspeakably boring. You'd rather be in your room and read with Chopin playing in the background.

Instead you're stuck here awkwardly eating your cake with Tyler by your side.

You spot Xavier by Bianca's side as they walk in together, his eyes meet yours and the betrayal you feel was deep. He had gone back to her.

You excuse yourself to the bathroom, feeling Xavier's gaze burning through your back as you walk away.

You pull back tears and touched up your lipstick after repeating the breathing exercise Kinbott has taught you.

Feeling less upset and more out together aftet successfully preventing a breakdown, you walk out towards your date.

Only to find him on the dancefloor with your sister, Wednesday.

Of course, he had only asked you to get close to her. No one ever wanted you for you.

You were glad you didn't really like him and disappointedlu went to grab a drink. You scan the room and notice Bianca dancing with Yoko, It was then that you notice Xavier wasn't anywhere to be seen. You frown and walked out while no one notice. The idea of knocking on his door was halted as you remember you weren't allowed there, If you were caught, it wasn't the punishment you were scared of but rather the embarrassment.

There was only one option left.

°°°

Climbing through windows and walls, you pull out a small screwdriver, unlocking the window next to his bedside, before pushing it open and jumping in.

As your feet lands on his bed, you hear him yelp and swear loudly. There he was in all his glory, in front of the bathroom door.

"[name]?!, What the fuck? Did you seriously just climbed through my window-"

"You weren't at the shed today, and you stopped sitting next to me in class. In fact if I'm remembering it right, you didn't even want me in the shed with you last week too." He turns quiet, eyes not meeting yours.

"You're avoiding me, why?" You ask, making him scoff and turn away from you as he walks towards Rowan's old bed.

You walk to him, pulling him by his hands to look at you.

"Did I do something? Have I offend you?" You go straight to the point.

He frowns. "Offend me? God are you clueless or something."

Saying that you were confused would be an understatement.

"Let's say that I am, spell it out for me then."

He shook his head and pushed your hand away. "I'm not- I'm not offended, okay? Just leave, okay? Go back to your date, and not by the windo-"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." You insist and he sighs.

you two stood like that for a few seconds, refusing to grant eachother's request.

You broke the silence first, unable to take it anymore.

"Xavier, you are my first friend ever, besides my old pet tarantula spider that was accidental killed in our washing machine." He makes a face of disgust.

"I- What I mean is, If I had done anything to hurt you, it was probably accidental, I am not the best when it comes to making friends, let alone, keeping then." You notice his body relaxing as his gaze softens.

"I would understand if you no longer want to associate with me, but I would be very grateful if you could tell me why." You pleaded, heart breaking.

You didn't think you could ever feel this upset.

People had always assumed you were as heartless as your sister, given your awkward and introverted personality.

But the truth was you used your antisocial personality as a wall againts human interaction because you were sensitive. Your heart was the opposite of Wednesday's.

Xavier sighs and closes his eyes briefly before looking at you firmly.

"You didn't offend me, well- not really, it's just-"

"Its- I avoided you, because I thought you didn't feel the same way I did." His confession did not clear anything up for you.

You scrunch your face confused.

"Feel? Feel what?"

His lips became a thin line as he rolls his eyes.

"[name], I like you"

"I like you too, I just told you that-

"No, I-" He sighs loudly again.

"I like you, more than a friend, should. And I thought I've been dropping multiple hints since we met but it seems you've gotten none of them, I thought you just weren't interested in me like that, or else you would've seen them, wouldn't you?"

Your eyes widen as understanding fills you.

The brief silence scared him as he tells you to forget about it and leave.

"Wha- No, no Xavier, I do like you." You immediately tells him before you could stop yourself.

He freezes and his yes scan you for any lies or deceit.

"Right, and you're definitely not saying this because I'm your only friend and you feel bad."

You shook your head but he still looks unconvinced.

"You went out with Tyler. Fucking Tyler. How does anything you do backs up what you're saying?" Tyler's name sounds like a curse coming from his tongue, And you have to admit, it makes you like him more.

"It does make sense what you're saying, but if Im only saying this because I'm lonely, would I do this?" You challenge him.

"Do what?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed.

You answer him by pulling him down by his vest and meeting your lips with his.

Automatically he reciprocates it and his arms move to wrap around your waist.

You smile againts his mouth and you feel him copy it.

Breaking the kiss to catch a breath, he grins at you, all his sulking seemingly gone.

"So just to be clear, you're not doing this because you feel bad or anything right? I don't know, maybe you should convince me again, just to be sure."

Your face breaks into a smile as you grant his wish.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Every Inch of You

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: reader is fighting demons (insecurities), very specific descrpitions of body image related insecurities- like the reader is literally picking herself apart in a mirror, hella praise, body worship, fingering, edging, multiple orgasms, creampie, cockwarming, pseudo voyeurism/exhibitionism (he fucks her in front of a mirror idk) I think that's everything

Genre: starts off pretty angsty, we transition to smut and end with fluff!

Summary: Insecurities can be quite rough on you but your boyfriend has no intentions of letting you go through it alone

***

You frown at your reflection as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Today has been a rough day. Nothing in particular happened. You went to work, you ran some errands, you did normal daily things, but for some reason you've been in such a weird mood and now you're stuck in a vortex, picking apart yourself apart in the fucking mirror. You really ought to go to the gym more often, or- stop snacking at night, have your pores always been so noticeable? Since when do you have so many stretch marks? You can't see your toes over your stomach- god that's embarrassing. You let out a long sigh as you bite back the tears stinging the back of your eyes. You hate this. It doesn't usually get this bad and the worst part is you know it's not real, you know you're not some hideous monster but it doesn't stop that nasty voice in your head from warping your perception some days and when that happens nothing you say to yourself changes it. But man does it suck, because most of the time you have all the confidence in the world, you've worked very hard on it. Days like this make it feel like you're still some lost little kid desperate to find your place in the world with no sense of self. You should just walk away. If you can't see yourself, you can't pick your appearance apart. But your feet feel glued to the floor, as if they can't remember how to move, as if it's the most impossible task you've ever been given.

"Alright that's enough. You'll lose your mind standing here." You tell yourself, shaking your head in hopes of getting out of this dreary mood. You finally step away from the mirror and head to your closet to put on some clothes post shower. You throw on a hoodie and some shorts and leave your room.

"Babe?!" You hear as you walk down the hall. Sounds like your boyfriend's back.

"Hey love, welcome home." You meet him by the door and he kisses you on the cheek.

"Hope you haven't made dinner yet beautiful because I brought take out." Luke tells you holding up the bag with an excited grin.

"Take out's good. You wanna shower first or dive straight in?" You ask him.

"Would you mind terribly if I showered first?"

"Not at all. Go ahead." You take the food from him and nod your head towards the bathroom.

"I'll be quick!" He kisses you once more and jogs down the hall. You set the food on the living room table and watch TV while waiting for Luke. You hope you're able to keep it together for the few hours you'll be spending with Luke before bed. Considering its a weekday, you don't have to keep the mask up for that long. True to his word, Luke is quick to return, maybe 15 minutes pass by the time he plops down next to you on the couch. "Alright! Let's eat!" He announces, opening the takeout bag. He hands you your food before digging into his own.

"How was work today?" You ask him.

"Fine, tedious. Was mostly doing paperwork today." He shrugs. "How was your day cupcake?"

"Work was work and then I ran some errands. No fun stories here unfortunately. How's everyone?"

"Well, Spencer was giving a guest lecture today so he wasn't around since we didn't have an actual case. Garcia was telling me about some woman that seems to have his attention at the uni though."

"Is Pen keeping tabs on Spencer at the college? He'll literally hate that when he finds out." You frown.

"That's what I told her but you know how she can be. Especially with how sometimes things- go wrong when we meet new people."

"I mean if she's just a coworker, Penelope's getting ahead of herself don't you think? He probably hasn't even made a move on her." You say.

"He hasn't. You're right but it's not like she can be stopped." Luke chuckles.

"Yeah I guess so." You hum.

"Alright, what's wrong, princess?" Luke frowns.

"What do you mean?"

"You've barely touched your food. Did you think I wasn't gonna notice you've only been picking at it? Do you not like it? Do you want to eat something else?"

"No it, it's fine, I just- I'm honestly not all that hungry I guess." You sigh.

"What do you mean you're not all that hungry? What've you eaten today?"

"A bagel for breakfast and a salad for lunch." You shrug. Luke checks the clock in your living room.

"Lunch was 8 hours ago, all you had was a bowl of rabbit food and you expect me to accept that you don't want to eat your favorite food? Come on, spill it baby what's going on with you?"

"Nothing's going on. I dunno I just- feel weird." You mutter, avoiding his gaze. Dating a profiler is so irritating sometimes, can't he just ignore your body language for once?

"Weird how?"

"We don't, have to do this. It's not a big deal babe." You mumble.

"You're not eating y/n it is absolutely a big deal."

"Luke-" you sigh.

"Don't 'Luke' me, what's going on?" He frowns.

"I'd really rather not discuss anything there's no need, seriously."

"Baby, don't shut me out. You can't shut me out. We're in this together, always. You've gotta tell me what's going on in your head." He caresses your cheek gently. You sigh, unable to justify holding out on him when he speaks so softly, with such care.

"I've just been having a bad mental day. Nothing's happened, but I, just feel uncomfortable in my body, and it's hard to deal with let alone talk about." You say, tears burning behind your eyes again.

"Baby," he says, concern contorting his features.

"It's fine, I'll get over it. Today's just been a rough one. It happens. Sometimes my insecurities flare up out of nowhere but that's life, I don't want you to worry." You shake your head.

"Do you know me at all princess?"

"What?"

"My baby, my darling, the love of my life, my reason for being, is stuck in her own head hating her body, the body I live to worship, the body I can't get enough of and you want me to simply 'not worry about it'? That ain't happening." He stands up.

"Luke." You grumble as he grabs your hands.

"No no no no, no complaining, up you go." He pulls you off the couch and lifts you into his arms.

"Ah! Luke what are you doing?" You ask, throwing your hands around his neck as he princess carries you down the hall.

"Well if that nasty little voice in your head wants to lie to you, I'll simply have to remind you myself of all the reasons ever inch of you is perfect." He says matter-of-factly.

"I do not like the sound of that." You tell him.

"And I don't like the sound of you feeling uncomfortable with yourself." Luke shrugs.

"Well that's not-" You stop yourself with a sigh, not even sure what your comeback would be. In your bedroom, Luke carefully lowers you to the ground in front of the mirror with your back facing him.

"I want to help you to see yourself the way that I do." He says softly. He kisses your neck lightly and gently lifts your gaze to meet his in the reflection. "Ask me how I see you." His fingers brush against your thighs as he speaks.

"How do you see me?" You whisper hesitantly. You're not sure you even want to know, but his lips against your throat and his hands on your skin are rather persuasive.

"You, mi amor, are the sun at the center of my universe, if ever I was asked to describe perfection I would simply describe you." Luke slides his hands up under your hoodie caressing your skin.

"Luke." Your brow furrows. This can't possibly be sexy for him, he's only touching your stomach to comfort you, he'd probably prefer it if-

"Relax baby." Luke whispers. You didn't even realize you'd sucked your stomach in against his touch unconsciously, as if you could hide from him your size. You slowly untense your muscles, cringing at the way you fill his large hands. "I'm going to take this off of you, is that alright baby?" He asks.

"Well," can you really handle looking at yourself again?

"You can say no if you want princess, but I need you to stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." You say.

"Physically maybe, but I can see your mind wandering off." He kisses your temple. "Don't go."

"You can take it off." You whisper. Luke tugs the hoodie over your head not a moment later, tossing it somewhere in the room, out of sight. He lets out a sigh as his eyes trail over your body through the reflection. You can still feel the heat of his gaze in the mirror and weirdly enough it feels undeserved. He looks at you like that all the time but, tonight you just can't understand what would make him look at you with such want.

"God, you're gorgeous." He sighs placing his hands on your hips again. Luke places kisses on your shoulder. "Your skin is so soft, I can never get enough of touching you, kissing you, holding you." He says. He slides his hands up your sides to cup your breasts. "So perfect, I love the weight of your tits in my hands." His thumbs stroke over your nipples and the light stimulation makes your breath catch in your throat. He twists and tugs at your nipples, enjoying the little whimpers you let out. "You make the prettiest noises when I touch you baby."

"Luke-" you whine, your head lolling against his shoulder.

"Uh uh, head up princess, you've gotta watch. Watch me touch you, worship you, and watch how your body reacts to me, see for yourself how captivating you look." Luke gently shrugs his shoulder to push your head forward. You force your eyes to focus back on your reflections in the mirror, the sight of his hands kneading your breasts with rough fingers toying with your nipples to create hardened peaks only serves to make you squirm more against him. He keeps at it until your breathing is heavy, then one hand slides down, pausing to rub your tummy, "You may not believe me but this, I love this. Growing up it meant you were eating well, taken care of. And I like to think I take good care of you. I want it to show." He says kissing your neck. "Plus it's excellent for cuddles." He winks with a smile that makes you giggle. "I like that sound even more than your little whimpers, but I'm about to get a lot more of those." Luke's hand continues down, pushing your shorts down enough for you to kick them off. His hand caresses your thigh.

"You're teasing." You pout.

"You look cute when you pout." He chuckles. "But I'll be nice." His voice drops as he slips two fingers between your folds. You arch you back against his touch as his digits toy with your cunt. Luke knows your body maybe better than you do and his hand makes quick work of bringing you to the edge. Your head tips back again, instinctively and his movements slow when he catches it. The sudden change drags your gaze to his in the mirror, a silent question in your eyes when you whine. "If you want to cum pretty girl you have to watch yourself do it."

"But-"

"No buts, keep your eyes open and on the mirror." He says stroking you faster now that your attention is back on your reflection. Again when you feel your orgasm creeping up your spine your head drifts back and again Luke slows his hand almost to a stop.

"No!" You cry out as your release slips away.

"I already told you princess, your eyes have to stay on your reflection." He says waiting for your breathing to calm slightly before his fingers work you again. This time, you manage to keep your head forward, but your eyes still slide closed from the pleasure. Unfortunately for you your boyfriend is very observant and closed eyes still break the rule, so his fingers slow again.

"Fffffffffffffuck me." You grit out, frustrated from his edging game.

"I'll keep doing this until you get it right mi amor. Keep your eyes open." He says beginning again. This time, you steel yourself. You don't think you can handle another denial. The signs of release return quickly with his hands on you and though your lids desperately want to close you keep them open even as they threaten roll back in bliss as you finally cum with a breathy moan. "That's it, so fucking stunning." Luke says as he strokes you through the aftershocks. Your legs are still shaking and your chest is still heaving when Luke lifts you again. "I'm not finished with you yet, but this next bit will be easier in the bathroom. So you have something to hold onto." He says carrying you into the bathroom. He sets you down facing the large mirror over the sink. "I'd do this in the bedroom but you won't be able to see yourself if I fuck you right up against the mirror." Luke says in your ear and the words send a shiver down your spine. "Place your hands on the mirror sweetheart. Let me show you how badly I crave every inch of you." He says with a hand stroking your ass. You lean forward enough for your warm hands to touch the cool glass. Your eyes follow Luke's in the mirror as they trail over your skin hungrily while he frees himself from his sweatpants. He wastes no time sinking into you with a groan and though he gave no warning you moan at the stretch of him filling you. The look on his face as he settles into your heat can only be described as euphoric and it's one you could never get tired of seeing on him. After a moment his eyes peel open again and catch yours in the reflection. He gives you a smirk before his hands tighten against your hips and he sets a rhythm that explains why you needed something to hold onto. His thrusts are harsh and deep and have moans spilling uncontrollably from your lips. Luke's eyes are locked on yours in the mirror as he fucks you. "God you're beautiful, perfect, you've got the- prettiest eyes that sparkle when you laugh, and look so good rolling back when I make you cum." He hums.

"Oh Luke." You moan part of that was sweet, part if it made your walls clench around his dick.

"You're perfectly soft for hugging or cuddling and it doesn't hurt that I have plenty to hold onto when I wanna fuck you stupid." Luke says and if he weren't currently doing just that you might've laughed at his words, but the moaning makes it hard. "If I could spend all my days wrapped in your arms, buried in your heat- you have no idea how quickly I'd do it." You can feel your cheeks heating up from his, mostly, sweet words, so contrasting from the way he's railing you. "God I love you so much." He groans.

"I- I love you too Luke, more than- more than you know." You pant out.

"Fuck I'm close." He grits out. One of his hands wraps around your waist and finds your clit. It doesn't take much, a few well focused circles of your sensitive bundle of nerves and you're shaking as your orgasm hits, your walls clamping down so tightly around Luke's dick it pulls his orgasm from him too. His hips stop flush against yours as hot spurts flood your inner walls. You practically slump against the bathroom counter as the waves of your release die down. You're not quite sure how he manages but Luke turns you around and lifts you in his arms again somehow without fully pulling out of you. He walks you both over to the bed and lays down with you on top of him, soft dick still buried in your heat. Luke lifts your head from his chest to get your attention.

"I love every part of you with all that I am." He says.

"Thank you. I love you too." You say softly.

"I know insecurities are no easy battle but, yours is a body the Greeks would build statues for. It pains me that you see yourself as less than idolized."

"I'll admit it's much harder to feel that way when you react like this."

"Well I'll just have to make a habit of it then." He kisses your forehead.

"I- can't say I'm opposed to that suggestion." You hum.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And where we on food? Did your appetite come back any?" He asks, hand stroking soothingly down your back.

"Yeah but- I'm too tired to move." You mumble into his chest and he laughs.

"Don't worry I won't make you get up now. I'm sure after a nap your body will convince you to get up and eat, until then let's just lay here."

"Perfect that's exactly what I planned to do." You sigh as you snuggle closer to him. Maybe your insecurities will beat your ass every once in a while, but you smile knowing Luke will be there to fight them with you and that is more than enough for you.

***

[copperbadge]

I had a very successful and entertaining day today, as you guys can probably tell from the posts I made. There's a few more queued posts of stuff I didn't get to post in-situ, so enjoy that!

Some anecdotes I did not post about from today:

-- I can't remember the last time I queued for a museum. Mostly because if it's not one of "my" museums, like the Field or the Art Institute where I know the best ways in, I'm attending on a weekday deliberately so that I am not amongst the crowds. The line to get into the British Museum was a full block long, but to be fair it only took me ten minutes from opening to get inside. I was mostly amused by the people who a) didn't understand how museum entry works or b) didn't understand how to stand in a line without also blocking foot traffic on the rest of the sidewalk.

-- Almost got in a fight with someone, a definite first for me in a museum. I got salty with a guy who touched a sculpture when he knew he shouldn't, and he got up in my face, and I think genuinely the fact that I knew what the sculpture was called and he didn't confused him so badly he backed down. So if you're looking to defuse a situation via confusion, the phrase "Hey, don't fucking touch the Lamassu and we won't have a problem" worked for me.

-- The British Museum is great but among other issues (looted objects, weird relics of museum-specific imperialism, etc) it does suffer from poor display design in places. I'm okay with that, I kind of like old museums that are a little fucked up, even as I acknowledge that old fucked-up museums also have old fucked-up messaging. They appear to be trying on that front, but they could use a display placard overhaul. At one point I found an object in a case that appeared to be a carved human leg bone, and while I'm not a Bone Specialist there was also absolutely no placard about the bone at all. (I looked it up in the collection later using other objects in the case as reference, and it's just noted as "bone".)

-- I did have a great time overall; I saw most of the museum and then had a fancy meal, as documented. I was especially pleased to get to sample their coronation chicken since I collect tastings of coronation chicken, and I think they either used molasses in it or the bread had some, and either way it's grist for my mill as I start to develop The Chicken Salad War. After lunch I went on the hunt for a few last things, but I could feel myself getting tired and Becoming Unmedicated so I decided to leave a little early, which was the right choice, and gave me a little time to do some exploring.

-- @neil-gaiman did a post a while ago about stuff to see in London which I saved, and while I mostly planned my own journey, I did stop at Atlantis Books on his recommendation, which was well worth it. The woman working the till left me alone until I was ready to buy my book, then praised my choice (always a good move) and made a few minutes' small talk about my visit from America while she was ringing me up. Also I have never seen such a variety of Tarot decks for sale in my life. It was extremely impressive given the entire shop is roughly the size of my bedroom in Chicago.

All in all an excellent day out in London. Tomorrow I'm traveling to meet up with a friend, so probably fewer photos, but day after tomorrow I'm bound for Amsterdam so expect Rijksmuseum photos! I did not get into the Vermeer exhibit sadly, but I still want to see the museum and I'm on a quest for freshly made stroopwaffels and authentic gjetost, so I'm excited for the journey. I thought this trip might be one small anxiety after another -- would I be okay on the plane, would I get on the right trains, etc -- but I'm feeling more confident now, and I think between my early-bird tendencies and the ADHD meds I kicked the jet lag pretty quickly. I'm off to bed in a few, because tomorrow is an early day, so I guess we'll find out then how much I really kicked it....

[isaut]

𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒚— beidou x fem!reader. 1.3k. part of of 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆. (a southern au)

beidou thinks it was an accident. named after the jon pardi song. cw: reader has breasts, works at a high school and is me

“You look nice today,” Kazuha comments, sipping a coke out of a hard, plastic cup tinted with teal. “Did you go home and change?” 

Beidou slides into the bar seat beside Kazuha, shifting onto one side to pull her wallet out her back pocket. She pulls out her card, tapping it absentmindedly against the bar counter. 

“Yeah. I went ahead and showered,” Beidou says. “Was feelin’ grimy.” 

“Sure,” Kazuha says. 

The bartender comes over and exchanges Beidou’s card for an already-filled pint. 

“They got you workin’ tonight, Diluc?” Beidou asks, bringing the beer to her lips. 

“I have myself working tonight,” Diluc comments dryly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Beidou mumbles. “Thanks for the beer. Has he paid yet?” She asks, pointing her thumb over at Kazuha. 

“He said he was probably driving you home, so I told him his coke would be on the house,” Diluc says, running Beidou’s card on his system to start a tab. 

“I’m just havin’ a few beers, I’m not gettin’ drunk. I showered, I’m not stayin’ out late.” 

“Sure,” Diluc says, “Whatever you say.” 

“Sourpuss,” Beidou laughs, taking another drink of beer. She glances around the bar, taking in the patrons. It’s nothing but regulars. 

“She’s sitting in the back, third booth from the right,” Kazuha says, calm as ever. 

A light flush dusts across Beidou’s cheeks as she follows Kazuha’s instructions. Once she gets a quick glimpse of you, sitting in the booth and listening to one of your coworkers, she turns back around and faces the bar. 

“Grubber is on her way,” Kazuha says, “So we should probably move to a booth. Maybe we can find one nearby.” 

“Shut up,” Beidou says, mostly into the top of her pint. 

Kazuha hums, playing with the straw of his drink. “You wouldn’t like that? Maybe she’d like it.” 

“You’re givin’ me a hard time,” Beidou bemoans. 

Kazuha smiles just a twinge to himself. He stands, collecting his drink. “I would never do that.” 

“You’re full of shit,” Beidou says, following her friend over to an empty booth. 

With a few beers in your system, you’re no longer feeling the stress of the work week. Across from you is your coworker, Lisa, who spends her week in the town’s high school alongside you. And beside her is her wife, Jean, who’s tab you rack up on the weekends with beers and the weekdays with Diet Coke. 

And it’s a longstanding tradition, to get drinks Friday after work ever since you moved back to the town you grew up in. Helps that Angel’s Share is a common watering hole in the small town, and helps that there’s always company that’s easy on the eyes. 

You watch, tuning out your friends, as your current eye candy walks from the booths to the bar. You know Beidou, mostly because she was the first person you were reacquainted with upon arriving back in town. She did the renovation work on your late-grandparent’s home, and you couldn't help but watch her every Friday and hope that she did the same. 

“Diluc’s pouring her beers,” You say to your friends, cutting Lisa off, reapplying your lipgloss. “I’m going to go intercept.” 

“You could go just ask for her number like a sane person,” Jean says. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Lisa hums, resting her chin in her palm. 

“Exactly,” You say, shaking your hair out, feeling your hoops tap against the sides of your face. You adjust your shirt, sliding your hands across your chest to make sure your breasts look nice. “How do I look?” 

You don’t wait for a response as you slide out of your seat, already seeing your window close. Beidou stands at the bar, precariously trying to balance four pints together. 

Slowing your pace, you watch as she begins to turn away from the bar and walk back to the booth she typically sits at. Timing is everything. You take a few quick steps, look behind you at your table, and collide straight into five foot ten  of legs, breasts and beer. 

And it’s sticky. The cheap beer soaks down your front, splashes up onto your face, a bit gets in your hair. The bar falls silent. You throw your hands up, your fake gasp turned real at how horrible the beer feels against your skin. The glasses clatter to the floor, creating a mess at your feet. 

What a good thing you came straight from work and still had sensible, close toed shoes on. 

“Shit, shit!” Beidou exclaims. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Fuck, let me, let me grab you a towel.” 

You make a show of wiping the beer from your face, off your chest. “No, I wasn’t looking.” 

“Now I’ve ruined your Friday night,” Beidou says, grabbing the rag offered to her off the bar. She makes a move to pat the beer off your chest, but pauses halfway in the movement to hand it to you instead. Gingerly, you pat away at your chest. 

“Would take a bit more than a spilt beer to ruin my night,” You say, giving her a small smile. “Anyways, I think I got a spare in my car.” 

Beidou exhales. She glances out the window, taking in the dark sky. “Shit, it’s gettin’ dark out. Let me walk you out there?” 

“You don’t need to do that,” You say, looking up at her through your lashes. 

Beidou lets out a nervous laugh. “I mean, ‘s only polite.” 

“Aren’t you sweet,” You say, gently patting down the tops of your thighs, clad in the jeans you wore for casual friday. 

“Fuck, I feel bad,” Beidou repeats. 

“It’ll all come out in the wash,” You reply, “Let me go grab my purse. I think I got some school shirt in the trunk or somethin.’ Wait right here.” 

You walk back towards the table with a triumphant smirk on your face. Picking up your purse, you give Jean and Lisa a smile. “I’m gonna go grab a shirt out my car. I think I have a school one in there. If I’m not back in ten minutes, know I died happy.” 

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Jean asks. 

Lisa places her hand on her arm. “We should just get another round of drinks for the two of us Have fun, sweetie.” 

“I’m comin’ back,” You say. 

“You don’t want to,” Lisa fires back. 

“I’m not that easy,” you hiss back, turning to head back to Beidou. 

As you walk out with her, you toss a look over your shoulder. “Beidou, right? I think you did the work on my granny’s house earlier this year.” 

Beidou’s eye lights up. “You remember me?” 

You laugh, coming to the side of your car and unlocking it. All the light is a almost-burnt out floodlight of Angel’s Share, and the dim light interior light of your car. There’s nothing sexy about the jeans you’re wearing, but you still make a show of bedinging over to search through your car for a tshirt, finding one advertising the high school you work at’s cheer team. 

“You don’t remember me?” You ask, unbuttoning your shirt and shamelessly changing into the cotton tee in the dark parking lot. 

“Shit!” Beidou exclaims, “Nah, I never said that. No, I’ve got a mind like a steel strap, I mean, trap– Are you sure you don’t want to change inside?” 

You throw your button down in the passenger seat and straighten up, back to Beidou, as you pull the shirt over your head. Turning around, you flip your hair out from the shirt. 

“Too late for that, don’tcha think?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. 

“Goddamn, you’re crazy,” Beidou says, racking her mind for any information she picked up about you during the year she worked on your inherited house. “Aren’t you a teacher or something?” 

“What are they gonna do, fire me? There’s a shortage, y’know.” 

“That’s fair,” Beidou says. “Hey, let me buy you a drink, as an apology for ruinin’ your shirt.” 

“Like I’ve been saying’: You didn’t ruin nothin’. I got a washer at home, you know. But I’ll take a drink. ‘S long as you drink it with me.” 

“Deal,” Beidou says, “What’re you drinkin?” 

[la-principessa-nuova]

I’m definitely on a sort of downward spiral of distractibility and sleep schedule.

My official plan is to sleep 12am-8am and work 9am-5pm.

I was doing so well last year, typically falling asleep somewhere between 11 and 1, and waking up naturally somewhere between 7 and 8.

Then in early December, I had the moment where I understood my gender dysphoria and that I needed to transition, and that night I stayed up until 4 am reading about gender dysphoria and then until 5 am taking notes about it and buying stuff to try out presenting femme.

I never fully recovered from that night.

Eventually, around the time I started therapy, I mostly solved the issue (not because the therapy helped me with it, but more like being in a better place helped me get through finding a therapist finally). I was going to bed like 1-3 am, waking up 8:30-9 on weekdays, 8:30-11 on weekends.

Then I came out to my mom and sister, and there were a few nights after that where they unexpectedly came over with a barrage of questions and “concerns” and every time I’d planned on doing something else and so when they left I just continued on as if they hadn’t been there and stayed up late.

But then I got in the habit again of staying up until after 3am, with most nights not being in bed until 4am and so many nights that i’m up past 5am.

so then i sleep through my 8am alarm and usually wake up to my 9am one, check my email and teams on my phone, and if there’s nothing important, i go back to sleep.

So like right now it’s 12:15pm, and I haven’t gotten out bed to start working yet, aside from a few emails I read and archived in bed. Luckily the nature of my job doesn’t require me to do it on a schedule, aside from if i have meetings or someone asks me something, so I’ve been able to work around it mostly, except the part where I’m soooi tired all the time bc even with sleeping in, i’m only getting like 4-6 hours per night.

And I have an interview today for a job that would require me to get out of bed every morning and be on a call at 9 AM, and I kind of can’t imagine that even though I did it for years with no problem.

But I just keep getting so distracted. Like last night I went upstairs at like 11ish PM. I went up because I had an idea for a comic that I wanted to make, that I’d gotten distracted when I tried to make it earlier, and I sat down thinking I’ll do a quick doodle of it to get the idea out, maybe finish it, and be in bed by 1 AM. Then I got more distracted and ended up not staring drawing until almost 1 AM.

But it’s OK, I told myself, I’ll just doodle the concept really quickly and go to bed. Then I got hyper-focused on drawing, and suddenly it was, no joke, after 5 AM.

When I saw how late it was, I immediately went to bed. But by the time I fell asleep it was after 5:30.

But, like, the less I sleep the easier I get distracted and hyperfocus on the wrong things, and the more I do that, the less I sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.

I have some ideas to try to get myself back on track, but PDA makes it a real struggle to stick to plans that are ultimately about getting me to stop doing what I want and yield my time, since as soon as I go to sleep, my time is over and the next thing I have to do is work again.

[guzsdaily]

[Actually] Automating my life

Day 16 - Nov 21st, 12.023

Another late post, another short post. I have to admit that the motivation of yesterday faded a little this morning, and things like today's heat didn't help me to get my laptop to work outside of home as I like. I'm still having trouble knowing what to do daily, but there's a reason: I need to work on my Obsidian setup and workflow, but knowing what to work when you don't have the tools to know it even harder. So in summary, it is a vicious cycle.

Thankfully today I was able to work on one of the steps of this setup: the weekly notes. These notes are meant to just get an overview in the start of the week and to schedule tasks of each weekday, said tasks are from the month's projects, and I'm really feeling that this can work better than my last workflow. Unfortunately this was what I mostly did today, because it is Obsidian, so I need to create/edit the templates from scratch, and a lot of the functionality is custom-made to myself and my setup, so it consumes a lot of time, which I hope that will be paid off when I start to work on projects themselves.

The process is simple: create a weekly note, see what tasks the select project has, and schedule them to a weekday. And to always help me be in focus and know about data/information, things such as the current quarterly theme are informed, if there are other tasks not related to the project and/or overdue from the past weeks, if there are any events in this week, etc. I still need to add some "decor" to the note, like a progress-bar or info of how many tasks were done in the week, a heatmap on how the routine is going, etc. But the basic functionality is there.

Compared with the previous it is a lot cleaner and organized also, hopefully now it will also be easier to add or remove functionality of the notes. Something which is a lot better to me now is that most of the note's logic is at the template level when it is created, so I'm less locked-in into Templater, Dataview or even Obsidian itself, because the end result is just a markdown page and I don't need to add backwards functionality for future notes, tasks, data, etc.

This is a very different post I have to admit, but it kinda returns to what I planned this daily journal to be, a log of how I'm improving in my productivity, project work, personal growth, etc. Now that I'm trying to actually work, more than just talking about how I need to work and build this workflow. Hopefully tomorrow I can complete this weekly note, finish the daily note, and maybe refactor a little of the code in the monthly note now that I found a better way to code the logic of the notes.

Today's artists & creative things

Song: You Will Be Okay - cover by Caleb Hyles I started to watch Helluva Boss since the first episode, and I think I never liked an animated series so much since then (to be honest I don't watch a lot of series, but whatever, it's still marvelous). And this song... fucking god... this song hit me hard when I listened it the first time, I don't know why exactly, but personally, it is not so frequent that I'm told that "everything will be okay, you will be okay" y'know? So highly recommend listening to it, the original or the cover which I recommended today, it just fits more the music style that I like than the original.

Copyright (c) 2023-present Gustavo "Guz" L. de Mello <contact.guz013@gmail.com>

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 23: Time Loop Stats

Okay, since Troped Time Loop’s official, actual writing period is ending in a couple hours, here is the status of my monster of a multi-chapter, novel-length fic.

Total chapter count: 5

Chapter 1: Written and mostly edited

Chapter 2: Written and partially edited (not much)

Chapter 3: Written

Chapter 4: Partially written (not much)

Chapter 5: Not written (outlined)

Total scenes left to write: 11

I also have a working title, though I think that it’s probably going to be the actual title, and I’ve played around with the summary and notes in my head, though I haven’t actually written any of that down. So. It’s still a lot but I’ve definitely made progress. I’m trying to be more proud of myself for writing as much as I have given that I started this fic at the end of July, so less than two months ago, and less bothered that I didn’t finish it on time. That wasn’t really realistic anyway. The biggest issue at this point… well, the two biggest. One, I’ve basically decided I’ll post the first chapter, even without the whole thing written. I need to finish the editing and I’m not in a rush to do that but when it’s ready, it’s ready. So I’m worried about what the effect of that will be, if there will be a response and it will inspire me or if I’ll just feel stressed and demoralized and less likely to work on it. And the second issue is that it’s nearly October and I have other Halloween stuff to write. I’ve signed up for the Troped Halloween exchange, so that’s a pretty big one and a necessary commitment, and I really, really want to write Halloween ficlets to post at the end of the month. I really don’t now how long it will take me to complete the draft (let alone the editing) of the time loop, and it’s possible I’ll need to take a break to work on these other things. I’m still trying to be optimistic—the truth is that the early era of writing this fic showed me that I can do it quite fast if I put my mind to it and commit to writing on the weekdays, and it’s just some tough mental times that have gotten in the way more recently. Plus, the weather’s supposed to be getting better, cooler, and that helps with my energy levels a lot. But it’s just hard to say. Hard to predict.

I did write today even though it was also a big sleeping day, and I’m glad I did. I’m a little close to judge the actual product but I think it’s good. The opening was an idea I’d had in my brain for a while so I think it’s inevitably kind of a downer to see it written down but… no one else saw the version in my head or lived with it like I did. It’s good. Now only… most of the rest of the chapter to go. It feels good to re-set with a new character and at least a couple new non-repeat scenes (I’m so tired of the repeating scenes! Damned time loop that I don’t know how to do!) and I just… I hope I can write another scene tomorrow, and really make some progress on actually finishing this thing!

[marvel-ous-m]

WIP Wednes-eekend: Summer Challenge Edition  

tagged by @devondespresso 💕💖💞 Thanks for the tag, friend! How did you know I desperately needed this as inspiration?! Lol.

The Rules

Post the file names of up to 5 of your WIPs for people to send you asks

Post a snippet of one of those WIPs

When people send you an ask with the name of one of your WIPs, write 3 lines of that WIP.

(Optional) Post the lines you wrote.

You can send multiple requests especially since this is going on through the weekend!

Also feel free to send as many as you want, im gonna devote my free time to this anyway so your just directing the adhd energy to a specific section

WIPs

I REALLY need to focus on my untitled Baker!Steve/TattooArtist!Eddie enemies-to-lovers fic (mostly because it's already been a year in the making and I just... do not spend as much time on it as I should). However! I also know I will hate myself if I only work on that sooooooo I will add three other tiny wips I have.

Untitled Baker!Steve TattooArtist!Eddie Fic

5 Times Steve feels the effects of the last four years (and one time he helps someone cope)

Untitled: Steve and (now famous) Eddie take a ten year dating break

My next update to Librarian!Eddie and Teacher!Steve

WIP Snippet from Baker!Steve/TattooArtist!Eddie (chap. 2/10 currently written, 20 planned) under the cut.

Steve blinked, finally putting two and two together. “You’re Corroded Coffin?”

The man winked, then bowed extravagantly. “I am the owner, yes. Eddie Munson, in the flesh.”

“Jesus, you even sound like you’re from a shitty metal band.” Steve rolled his eyes, then dumped his dustpan in the garbage and started to take his apron off.

“Whoa- hey, shitty? I’ll have you know, metal music is the foundation of the music we know today. We wouldn’t have musicians like Gerard Way or Taylor Swift if it weren’t for shitty metal bands.” Eddie squinted at him, tilting his head slightly. “What’s your deal, anyways? You could at least say thank you, you know.”

Steve let out a surprised laugh, hanging his apron and turning to Eddie. “Thank you?! For what?”

“All of your extra business today! I got a ton of customers coming in with your cute little cake boxes. I’m sure quite a few of my clients came by after their appointments, too. I know it’s a pretty popular area, but that much foot traffic is rare for a weekday. So, you should be thanking me, I got you some extra sales today.” Eddie smiled at him, teeth bared and shoulders squared, the epitome of confidence.

Steve decided right then and there- he hated this guy.

Quite literally tagging anyone who wants to participate, please just tag me so I can see your updates!

[lesaltywarlock]

A Regular Day For Griffin Fogarty

A story about how Griffin Fogarty met a Demon. 

I was working on Griffin’s profile when I thought about this fic I made a while ago, detailing the story of how he met his Servant. I want to make similar stories for the rest of the Masters as well, but...well, I’ll get to that eventually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a beautiful day, ain’t it? The sun’s shining, the birds are chirping, and the car exhaust is as rotten as it was the day before.

“What a beautiful day.” Griffin Fogarty repeated his inner monologue, only questioning his sanity for a few seconds before sitting up. Reaching his arms up above his head to stretch, he promptly banged his knuckles on the metal roof of the van he called home. He recoiled and rubbed his mildly sore hands. “Jesus, I really need to stop doing that.”

Seriously, there were indents from how often he’s done that. 

To start off the day, he did his morning routine as anyone would. He neatly folded his thin blanket and placed it on the upper right corner of his mattress before throwing open the van’s back doors and slipping on some gym shoes. Griffin hopped out onto the blacktop of the gas station parking lot to go buy some breakfast. 

The familiar jingle of digital bells greeted him when he entered, along with the bored expression of the clerk at the door. An old Italian woman, with a voice ragged and scratchy from years of smoking, but she was kind and gave him free reign of the drink machines. 

“Hey, Griffin.” They said, just like always, with a heavy accent. “Just the usual?”

“Yes, please! Oh, actually I just got paid yesterday, so I might be able to splurge a bit more this time.” He placed down a crumpled up ten dollar bill with a cocky grin. “I’ll actually pay for my coffee this time. 

The woman’s name tag reflected the morning sun into his eyes, displaying her name. Janice. She smiled at him, perhaps the first expression of interest she’s made today. “Really, now? Why don’t you use it for something better.”

He denied it at first, but she kept insisting, so he eventually relented. Griffin roamed the three short aisles of snacks and occasional premade meals before choosing out some trail mix, a salad, and a Gatorade for when he gets thirsty. There weren’t many options he could choose when it came to meals, as most of them contained meat, but he’s grown to like what little he had. He also got his usual coffee order, adding as much cream and sugar as humanly possible in the tall paper cup filled with slightly burnt vanilla flavored coffee. 

Janice scanned his things and handed him his precious change before they bid their farewells. Today was a weekday, and he only got gas on Sundays. He hopped into the ripped up, sun bleached driver’s seat of his van and sped off into the city he’s memorized like the back of his hand. 

The gym was his first stop, as always, where he greeted the man at the front desk who only worked Mondays before heading off to his usual round of machinery. He had no need for exercising this frequently every morning, but it was a nice way to get him energized and ready to take on the world. 

Also, gyms had showers, and since he didn’t exactly have a home, a corresponding gym membership would allow him to use said shower all he wanted. Which he did, for maybe a good thirty minutes afterwards. 

Today was an off day for him. The past few days have been off days for him, mostly because he couldn’t find work after being let go from his old job, and it was rare for anyone to come to him of all people for appliance maintenance or locksmithing no matter how much he advertised it online. The only exception was yesterday, when he miraculously snagged a job helping someone locked outside of their home. 

After changing into much cleaner and less sweaty clothes in his van, he then drove to the local library. Having a library card was also a much needed expense since they had free wifi, computers, and, of course, books! Grabbing his old backpack that was practically ripping apart from years of use, he headed inside and plopped onto his usual spot at one of the many wooden long tables inside. 

Griffin was still a student after all, taking a few online classes over the summer partly for fun and to finish off some electives he missed before. School was difficult, but having a full ride made things a bit easier, or at least it motivated him enough to keep trying for at least a B+. Without it, he’d probably have gone into debt which he sure as hell didn’t need when he didn’t even have a home.

His stomach’s incessant growling signaled the end of today’s work session. As he left the library and navigated through the parking lot, he mentally tallied up the money he had saved up along with the number of places to eat at. In the end, he decided on his favorite taco truck that was always close to where some of his friends lived. It was hard being on the streets as a vegetarian, but the owners of the truck were kind enough to start making vegetarian options for him. 

He was about to start the engine when he noticed a slip of paper peeking out from the lower left corner of his windshield. Griffin stared at it for a few seconds before fear ran through his spine. He let out a defeated sigh and got out to retrieve the ticket. 

“Come on, New York, what the hell did I do wrong this time?” He groaned and pushed the door open with his foot. “Seriously, you see a guy living in a van and think he’s a criminal or something….”

When he grabbed the ticket, he was surprised to see that it very much wasn’t a ticket. In fact, it was a parchment adorned with a golden eagle wax sealing. After peeling it off, he opened it up and read a fancily written letter. 

To the head of the Fogarty family, 

Fortune smiles upon you today, oh fallen blacksmith. You, whose family has all but perished, have been given a chance at redemption. The Holy Grail of legend, an all powerful wish-granter, has been planted in New York City. You and six other Mages shall conduct a ritual known as a Holy Grail War, in which you summon a familiar, a phantom of the past, at your side and defeat your fellow Mages so as to win ownership of the Grail. Only one Master and Servant will win this. If you search the back of your van, you will find the materials needed to start the process, however, a catalyst to help assist with summoning your Servant is not provided. Perhaps you already own one, as the heir to a family of talented armorers. 

Good luck, 

- Quentin Rambert

“What the fuck?” Griffin exclaimed aloud, turning the heads of a family entering the library and causing the parents to glare at him. His face heated up, and he yelled out, “sorry!”

Obviously, they didn’t care about his apology, and the kid didn’t care at all about what he said either.

He turned his attention back to the parchment in his hands, which weighed as much as the world itself. A chance to wish for anything he desired, and all he had to do was kill six other people and their familiars. 

Griffin wasn’t unfamiliar with the idea of killing someone, though he never did. He was still a Mage, and his pride as a Mage still burned within him no matter how long it’s been since he lost everything so many years ago. Nonetheless, he was still inexperienced, and he lived in a van of all things. If anyone found out, he’d be better off as death fodder. 

But…there was still a chance for him to win, right? All he needed was his familiar to fight with him and a catalyst to help summon them. 

He crawled into the back of the van through the driver’s seat and found a duffel bag containing another large parchment containing a summoning circle, the directions and incantations to summon the Servant, and an address. 

After looking it up on his phone, he discovered it was an old abandoned store in a practically barren part of town. It looked shady, but then again, most Mages were. 

Griffin weighed the odds, but he began to imagine seeing his family’s faces again. His mother’s kind smile and his father’s tough gaze that always encouraged him to succeed. He shut his eyes and pictured that scene countless times before coming to an answer. 

“Alright, Quentin. I’ll accept this offer of yours.” 

The only problem, of course, was a catalyst. Some item meant to help summon this Servant of his own. Considering he was homeless and also very poor, there wasn’t much that he had much less could use as a catalyst. 

But then a thought popped into existence in his mind. He hoisted the mattress off the floor of the van revealing a garbage bag filled with mementos of his past protected by bubble wrap. After rummaging through family pictures, documents, and some personal keepsakes from his parents, he found it. The first sword he ever made that earned his family’s approval, and it was the start of his journey as a Fogarty before it all came to a screeching halt. He sold a lot of his tools that came after that for money, but he could never quite let go of this one. The blade itself wasn’t perfect, with the edges slightly jagged and starting to rust from years of being hidden away. Even the pommel was barely attached to the hilt, and the leather sheath it was in had started to rot away.

But it was his, and maybe it could give him some badass Servant to boot. 

He drove to the address on the paper, only getting lost once trying to take a shortcut along the way. Eventually, he arrived at the empty square and headed inside past the cracked nonfunctioning automatic doors. 

Either a storm passed through it or a fight broke out, because the whole place was wrecked and filled with debris. A long gash wrapped around the entire store, with overturned shelves and carts all slashed in half in a manner that looked way too clean to be anything natural. Obviously, none of this was natural, but….

“You’ve accepted our invitation, then?”

The shadows spoke in a shrill, cocky voice. Emerging from the darkness came a young man several inches shorter than him. He was dressed in a black suit lined with gold, and the insignia of an eagle was branded on his shoulder. The man strutted his way over to Griffin, staring straight at him with green eyes shimmering with some sort of electricity. Smoothing his dirty blond hair back, he remarked, “call me Quentin. I’m the heir to—”

“The Rambert family. Famous and rich modern day aristocrats who’ve served New York for years. I-I read your stupid invitation or whatever.” Griffin waved the parchment around in his hands, only to realize that he just yelled at the heir of a rich and powerful family who could probably sick the fucking mafia or something on him. “Uh…I mean, yeah, I’ll be in your Grail War.”

“I’m a bit honored you know me.” Quentin stood up straight and bared his chest out in pride. “Then again, everyone knows me.”

“Why are you here?”

“To observe the birth of a new Master, of course.” They replied. “It’s not everyday that one gets to be in a Holy Grail War.”

Griffin wasn’t exactly buddy-buddy with any Mages, much less the famed Rambert family. He was immediately suspicious, and all of his brain’s alarms flared up with every passing second, but it’s not like he had a choice. If he rejected, there’s no telling what they might do to him. Though if he accepted, there was also a chance that Quentin might kill him on the spot. 

His only choice was to do the ritual.

He glared at the man but tried his best to continue as usual. He laid out the parchment of the summoning circle and placed his old sword in the center. Quentin raised a brow at it and said, “you’re trying to summon a Saber, then? Going for a strong Servant from the bat, aren’t you?”

“If it helps me win, then I’ll do whatever.” Griffin stepped back a few paces and held up the paper with the incantation. With a catalyst, it made the whole process much easier, so all he had to do now was start the ritual. 

“Let silver and steel be the essence. Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation. Let fire and brimstone pay tribute. Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall. Let the four cardinal gates close. Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate!”

The moment he started the incantation, energy poured out from his body in the form of flames that burned the parchment away, leaving the now glowing shape of the summoning circle. Quentin’s face was illuminated in the light, giving his cold expression an eerie glow. 

He continued. 

“Let it be declared now. Your flesh shall serve under me, and my fate shall be with your sword. Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail. Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth.”

His sword trembled, absorbing the summoning circle’s energy before shooting out a pillar of pure light up into the ceiling. A gust of wind shoved him back, but he managed to keep himself from falling over. As he spoke, a deep voice repeated his words moments after they left his tongue. 

“From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power, come forth from the ring of restraint, protector of the holy balance!”

The light promptly disappeared in the blink of an eye. The energy surging through the summoning circle faded away like embers crumbling off firewood. It was just him and Quentin once more. 

“Did…it work?” He asked above the ensuing silence. 

Quentin said nothing but pointed at his right hand. When he looked down, he found a lion’s head branded on his skin like a tattoo. Its jaws were open in a ferocious roar, with eyes that pierced right through his being. It burned, but no matter how much he rubbed at it, they didn’t smudge. 

“Those are your Command Seals.” Quentin explained. “They are proof of your title as Master. They’re powerful spells that allow you to order your Servant to do anything, regardless of power or will, but remember that you only have three. Use them wisely.”

Suddenly, they started to ache even more after hearing that information. Did they really just freely give him the spells to give his familiar absolute orders? Griffin looked around the store, not finding a single person, and a part of him wondered if the ritual actually worked. HIs Servant was nowhere to be seen. 

“I…uh, don’t know what to do now.” He murmured in a feeble attempt to fill the silence. 

“What we do now is kill each other.” 

Griffin choked on his spit. He stumbled backwards, tripping on an empty cart and falling on his ass. Quentin approached him at a snail’s pace, but it didn’t ease the fear creeping into his throat. “Wh-what?”

“With you, our final Master, the Holy Grail War has officially begun.” Lightning crackled between his fingertips which he clasped together, smiling with bloodlust. “The objective is to kill six of the seven Servants, but considering they’re much more powerful than regular humans, it’d be easier to target the Masters. Starting…with you.” 

Oh fuck. Oh shit. He was about to die. Griffin Fogarty was about to die. He tried to move, but found himself paralyzed by the growing static electricity in the air. His nose hairs burned with the scent of ozone as clouds gathered above them. Quentin snapped his fingers, sending a bolt of lightning to strike the ground in front of him. 

At first, he thought the man just had bad aim, but the sound of footsteps growing closer behind him told Griffin that it was done on purpose. It was a signal. 

He turned his head to come face to face with a spear flying straight at his chest, held by a warrior in silver armor. His brief, miserable life flashed before him, and it only made his impending doom feel even more disappointing. After trying so hard to turn his life around after losing everything, this was where it all ended. 

“Pick yourself up, Griffin Fogarty!” That same deep, echoing voice spoke both in his mind and in reality. Milliseconds later, a sword, his sword, deflected the warrior’s blow. The wielder was a samurai, or at least someone dressed in the thick plated samurai armor that he’s only ever seen in movies. Despite his sword being a standard European style longsword, they wielded it similarly to a kendo player and used it to parry the silver-clad warrior’s strikes with their spear. 

The samurai stared at him with blood red eyes, almost like a demon. His words shook Griffin to his core, like they were commands etched into his very being. “Your life shall not end here. Be brave, Master.” 

All of the fear and horror that froze him in place melted away. He pushed himself to his feet and looked over to Quentin’s direction. The man furrowed his brow in anger, yet he didn’t seem surprised by anything that happened. “Lancer! Distract that Servant, I’ll take care of him.” 

Electricity gathered in Quentin’s hands as he prepared a spell, but the samurai was much faster than that. He kicked the other Servant, Lancer, in the gut and sent them flying all the way across the store. Then, they were gone in the blink of an eye and reappeared right in front of Quentin, striking them in the nose with the butt of his sword. 

Their spell fizzled out as they stumbled back clutching their bloodied nose. Quentin glared at them as Lancer ran to his side with his spear pointed at Griffin. “Alright, you pissed off the wrong guy. Servant or not, you’re still outnumbered.”

The air shimmered as dozens of men with assault rifles appeared from the shadows aiming their laser sights at him. His Servant took up a defensive position, holding up an arm in front of him as some sort of shield. They then huffed and said, “I assure you that you are the one who is outnumbered.” 

Plumes of smoke swallowed up the men as the sounds of fighting ensued. Seconds later, when the dust settled, figures cloaked in dark blue clothing that blended in with the darkness stood over the now unconscious gunmen. For the sake of his sanity, Griffin ignored the blood staining their katana. 

Lancer took one step towards them before Quentin ordered them to halt. A smile formed on the man’s face, almost seeming satisfied as he applauded Griffin saying, “I must admit, you’ve outsmarted me. What may be a setback to my parents is a job well done for you. You’re one step closer to winning the Grail.”

“Is the Grail a trap as well?” He asked, “is all of this one big elaborate scheme?”

“I assure you that the winner will receive their prize in the end.” They answered, grabbing onto Lancer’s forearm. “I can’t assure you that I’ll help you, though. Maybe the other Masters will be willing to cooperate. Outside of us, there are five others that you will have a chance to meet tomorrow.”

Griffin tensed at the sound of meeting the other participants in this war. He couldn’t help but imagine Mages equally as powerful as Quentin, paired with deadly Servants that could take down a hundred men without so much as lifting a finger. His own Servant’s eyes burrowed into him as they said, “be calm. I will protect you with my life.” 

He gathered his courage and forced out his fears through a heavy sigh. “What do you mean by that?”

A few seconds passed before they replied, “a banquet will be held at the Rambert estate outside of the city. This will be your chance to assess the competition and for us to celebrate this momentous occasion. Please, try to wear something fancy. There’ll be a strict dress code.”

“B-but I live in a van, you think I have the money for a suit and tie?”

Quentin shrugged, “not exactly my problem, now is it? I don’t have the time to help you anyways. Being a Rambert’s pretty busy work. Come on, then, Lancer.”

With the loud crackle of thunder and lightning, the pair vanished. As his adrenaline faded, so too did his energy. He fell to his knees clutching at his chest trying to catch his breath. His Servant then pulled him to his feet and gripped him by the shoulders. “Are you alright, Master?”

“Y-yeah, thank you…for everything, and all that.” Griffin managed a smile. “So, you’re my Servant, huh?”

The samurai nodded before sheathing Griffin’s sword and hanging it at his waist, right next to the far sleeker curved katana. They bowed deeply as they said, “you may call me Saber. I shall be your blade from now on, Master.”

“Uh…just call me Griffin.” He laughed nervously. “Master’s…a bit weird of a name.”

“Lord Griffin, then.”

He had a feeling that was the closest Saber would get. Griffin motioned for them to leave the store, and as they did, he couldn��t help but eye the shadows wondering if those men from earlier were still in hiding. “Uh…Saber, where’d all your guys run off to?”

“They are my Noble Phantasm.” He explained. “I can summon them on command to fight and spy for the both of us.”

“Um, mind if I ask what that is?”

Saber nodded. “We Servants are Heroic Spirits, phantoms of figures of the past and fiction. We are given special abilities known as Noble Phantasms that represent the legends that we are known for. Some may wield holy swords, like the legendary King Arthur and Excalibur, while a samurai such as myself is given command over three hundred men. In turn, you are also given that same privilege.” 

Griffin’s mind wandered off to a certain BBC show of King Arthur, and how the king definitely sparked an interest in him. He threw that thought away as he slid out of the store and into the parking lot. The sun had set, bringing with it the blanket of night. He didn’t like being in parking lots at night outside of the gas station he’s basically called home for years. It was so dark, and sometimes eerie as well. However, Saber had such a strong presence that he felt the need to be strong as well. 

“Do you have a name, Saber?” He asked. “Your…real name. I don’t remember any samurai named Saber in history.” 

“It is just a cover name. There are seven classes of Servants in a Holy Grail War, and Saber is one of them.” They answered once more, and Griffin suddenly felt bad for asking so many questions to a man who only just came into being a few minutes ago. “My True Name…the name I was given in life…is Hanzo.”

“Hanzo…that’s a much better name than Saber.” Griffin laughed, throwing open the door to his van and sliding into the driver’s seat while allowing the Servant to rest in the back. “I’m guessing these True Names are supposed to be kept secret?” 

Saber nodded. 

“Huh…must be weird, you know, to never be called by your name. I wonder if you Servants ever forget who you were back in the day.”

No response. 

Griffin was beginning to see how most of their conversations would turn out. He hid his disappointment and drove out of the square, suddenly doubting his actions and the future. Perhaps most importantly, he began to doubt whether or not his wallet could handle having another mouth to feed. He could survive for today, sure, but what about the coming days? What about the literal suit and fucking tie he’d have to buy for tomorrow?

He decided to go and ask his friends tomorrow for help. They were all rich anyways, or at least they had homes unlike him, which Griffin considered wealthy enough. Too tired to do anything else, he pulled into the gas station, headed inside to fetch another pre-packed salad and a chocolate chip cookie as dessert, before flopping onto the mattress in the back of the van. 

Saber observed him as he wolfed down his food with reckless abandon. Griffin felt a bit awkward since he’s never exactly had guests in his van, but he did his best to ignore it. 

“Are you sure it’s safe to be out here, Lord Griffin?” Saber questioned, eyes roaming the nearly empty parking lot with a hint of unease. “We cannot be stuck out in the open like this, when there might be enemies at every corner.”

“It’s the safest I can manage.” He answered, “considering I don’t have a place to go other than this ol’ thing.”

Griffin proceeded to bang on the van’s walls, causing Saber to freeze and then slowly nod. “I see…so you have no home?”

“I’ve been living on the streets for a couple years now, ever since my parents died and their house burned down.” Griffin cleaned up his hands with some hand sanitizer before stuffing his trash in a plastic bag to throw away in the morning. “All they left me were this van and the tools they made, before I had to sell those for money. That sword I used to summon you is the only thing I couldn’t sell.” 

“It is a fine sword.” The Servant unsheathed the blade and held it up against the light pouring out from the gas station. “Whoever made this holds great potential as a craftsman.”

His chest burned with pride hearing those words, and he smiled, sitting up a little bit straighter. “Thanks. It’s the first sword I made that earned my parent’s approval. I could probably make a better one now, but…a blacksmith can’t exactly do his job without the tools, and buying those tools takes money that I obviously don’t have.”

It was the worst thing about his situation. If he just had the tools, he might just be able to start earning a living for himself. But in order to do any of that, he needed money, but he also needed money for food and paying for his phone or gas and all the fucking things homeless people still deal with despite not having a home. 

“A blacksmith?” Saber questioned, “there’s far more to you than meets the eye, Lord Griffin.” 

“Heh…yeah. My whole family line made their legacy as blacksmiths.” Griffin hung his head and conjured up memories of his childhood. The roar of a furnace and the constant hammering of metal always sounded so comforting to him. For a long time, he could never fall asleep without hearing the sounds of fire crackling in the background. “We made a lot of things…and I sold them all, just to get enough money to survive.”

In hindsight, it was a bit dumb, but he was a dumb teenager who didn’t know how to survive on his own. 

They sat in silence. Griffin shifted around before eventually laying down on his bed and wrapping himself as best as possible in his blanket. It was getting late, and if he wanted to wake up early to get that suit, then he’d best sleep now. Maybe it’ll give him a bit more time to dream as well. 

“Rest well, Lord Griffin.” Saber said. “My men and I will keep you safe, both you and your dreams.” 

He heard the Servant exit the van and shut the door. Normally, Griffin was still paranoid sleeping out in the open like this, even with the door’s locked, but today felt different. Then again, not everyone had some badass samurai and his retinue of three hundred ninja to protect them. 

As his eyelids grew heavy with exhaustion, Griffin fell asleep, and he fell into the warm embrace of his dreams where his mother and father still lived, and a place where he wished he could live as well.

[juniwilson]

Let Go | Para

Featuring: Juniper Grimaldi w/ a few folks at her job; mentions of Chris & Atlas Grimaldi, Raj Veerapen, Emma Williams, Luna Zuniga-Smith, Riley Moore, Aldrich Palermo, Thomas Meier & Celeste Barbosa-Meier Location: California Academy of Sciences; San Francisco, CA Time Frame: Noon-ish, Mon. March 20, 2023 Notes: Kinda long-ish, but thank you for reading.

Juniper had been finishing up their lunch when their direct supervisor’s administrative assistant poked his head into the break room.

“Heyy, Juniper, when you’re done with lunch, Renee wants to see you.”

“Oh, okay!” Juniper replied, licking a sandwich crumb from the corner of their mouth. They balled up the parchment paper the sandwich had previously been wrapped in and tossed it in the waste bin, and then, after wiping down where they’d been sitting with a napkin, Juni grabbed their water bottle and left the break room.

For Juniper, things at work were finally feeling more normal, routine again. There hadn’t been the whispers or obvious indicators that she was just being talked about anymore. And while she’d still been away from work during the weekdays here and there, she was hard at work and staying in communication with her team as much as possible. Checking the time, she’d only had about 5 more minutes before her lunch would be over and it’d be time to get back to her coral reef report.

When they reached the aquarium director’s door and knocked, Juni waited for a response and then entered, a friendly smile on their face.

“Close the door and have a seat, Juniper,” Renee said.

The smile they’d entered with died on their lips. With their heart quickly launching into nervous thumps, Juniper did as they were told and took one of the two available seats across from their boss’s desk. Taking in Renee’s grave expression, along with the long stretch of silence after they sat didn’t put their mind anymore at ease.

“Juniper, I know there isn’t any easy way to say this, so I’m going to cut to the chase. We have to let you go, effective today.”

For an uncomfortable length of time, it felt like everything had stopped, including Juniper’s heart. But when she’d visibly reacted, she stammered, “I-I... what?”

Renee sighed and steepled her fingers on the desk. “We know that you work hard and that you love your job, but your frequent absences haven’t gone unnoticed.”

Her throat was starting to feel like it was lined with sandpaper as she whispered, “My absences?”

This time, Renee frowned, “Yes, beginning with Ship-Wrecked. You were granted an exceptional amount of time of leave to go on the show, mostly because of your incredible work ethic, how reliable you were and how little time you were away. But ever since then, you have missed a significant amount of work. The maternity leave was understandable and of course, by law that has nothing to do with your termination. However, you have taken an abnormal amount of time off for vacations, awards shows and other social events. Even this past weekend when you took time off Friday. It’s impacted the efficiency and morale of the research team.”

Every bit of lunch was quickly turning sour in Juniper’s stomach. She wanted to say that she’d only taken a half day off from work last Friday but she kept quiet, her gaze downcast while Renee went on.

“Between us, I love having you here. When you’re here. But there have been complaints and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worried before more of those complaints had come. You know that a lot of our ability to educate, research, and maintain what we have here relies on donors. If The Academy were to grant the amount of time off to everyone that they’ve given you over the past year alone, we would have a major problem, and likely lose a lot of our funding.”

Silence stretched between them gain as tears began to well up in Juniper’s eyes. But they fought them as much as they absolutely could, swallowed thickly and finally managed to say, “I understand.”

Frowning again, Renee softened her voice, “Juniper. I’m going to say the thing I’m not supposed to say, which is that I’m sorry. I really, truly am. You’ve had major changes to your life since returning from Ship-Wrecked. Maybe it’s all been a lot more to handle or adjust to than you were actually prepared for. But if in, say, a year or so, you have a better handle on things, reach out to me, alright? Maybe we would be able to have you back. Or if you end up needing a reference to somewhere else... you have my contact information.”

A reference somewhere else didn’t mean much when a job like hers was hard to find, and the job she was aspiring to have would be even harder now that she’d been fired. But Juniper didn’t say anything. She didn’t trust herself not to burst out into tears. Or throw up. The latter was feeling more and more like a possibility the longer she sat there. And after giving a nod to Renee, her now former supervisor returned to a more business-like demeanor and continued telling her about clearing out her desk and seeing HR to collect her final pay. She’d heard it all yet it was sounding distant and underwater.

At some point, Juni had gotten up from the chair and left the office. Their steps were wooden and muscle memory seemed to be the only thing carrying them in the right direction. And when they got back to their desk, an empty box was waiting there. Tears silently spilled down Juniper’s cheeks. They could feel eyes on their back as they picked up the personal items at their work space: framed photos of Chris and themself, of Atlas, and of Eevee. Smaller photos taped to the side of their monitor and pinned to their cubicle walls: group photos with various siblings, a selfie of them, Atlas and Raj at the zoo; Riley, Aldrich, Chris and them at the wedding reception photo booth, a picture of them with Thomas, Celeste and their then newborn twins, and an old group photo with Monterey Bay Aquarium colleagues.

All of the photos went into the box, along with everything else personal at and around their desk: their framed AA and BS diplomas, scuba certification papers, work recognition certificates, a ‘thank you’ card signed by friends at the penguin exhibit, another ‘thank you’ card from a school group they’d given a tour to; a tube of lip balm recently gifted to them from Emma, seashells Luna had given them back on the island, and two small plush animals--a sea otter and a sea horse. The last personal item to be packed was their lab coat, which Juniper had tugged off at the sleeves, folded in half and shakily draped across the top of the box.

Juniper was about to pick up the box when bile began to rise in their throat. They bolted for the nearby bathroom, barely making it to an available toilet before losing their lunch entirely. They sobbed through the last few, painful dry heaves and thereafter, hands and lips trembling terribly while they knelt in the stall. It was a struggle to compose themself again; each time they thought they pulled themself together, Renee’s words of, “We have to let you go” echoed in their mind and pushed more tears from their eyes.

She had no idea how much time had passed before she was able to get to her feet again. She felt dizzy and her head was throbbing from all of the crying and vomiting. But she had to leave. It wasn’t a choice--wasn’t her choice. She had to get her belongings, collect her check, and leave as she was instructed. So she flushed, washed her hands and did her best to rinse out her mouth, and then kept her gaze down as she retrieved her box and walked out of her team’s office for the last time.

[keefwho]

May 28 - 2024 Tuesday

10:23pm

5.5/10

This morning I took care of the dogs and showered like usual. I was a bit quicker than usual so that was nice. For breakfast I made Dinty Moore beef stew with some pasta in it. I actually got to take my time and eat it which I don't usually do. Then I had a cookie with my coffee and starting streaming.

I warmed up with a couple of Monster High doll studies and some normal human gestures. I only streamed for an hour since I had planned to move Sporticus's kennel into the fireplace and rearrange my bed. I mostly did commission sketches and worked on a YCH.

Afterwards I had to clean out the fireplace area which meant trying to scrub soot off the walls. Somehow I tore off the first layer of skin on the side of my finger which got tons of ash in it and then I decided I should be wearing gloves. I did improve the fireplace but it's still charred blank in some places in a way I cant just brush off. I got it clean enough to put her in there. Then I started putting all my bed stuff in the laundry to wash throughout the day.

I had planned a sort of meetup with TK a few days ago so we got in VRchat and hung out in this public Minecraft world the whole time. WX joined too. We talked about religion and kids and parents and a bunch of different stuff. I switched to desktop to make lunch while I hung out with everyone.

I started working in VRchat and did today's request which included mild gore, I kept it private. Then I tried working on this Opaline idea from fan idea requests and I barely made any progress like the last 3 weeks. Its getting very frustrating because I don't know why I cant get such a simple pose right. It didn't help I was mentally drained and had a headache. I decided to give up for the day.

I made the minor mistake of taking a tiny hit so I could take some time to enjoy myself. Or maybe it wasn't a mistake, I only consider it one because my loose rules tell me I shouldn't be smoking at all on weekdays. My self enjoyment time was okay but it started getting windy and thundering towards the end of it. It passed by quickly and then I started playing Roblox Toilet Tower Defense until DS was free.

She worked on her fursuit and I played Roblox for awhile. We watched a couple furry con vlogs and took a long look at old IKEA catalogues while reminiscing about furniture. She told me of a liminal place she remembers vividly relating to the IKEA play area from her childhood and I was very interesting in maybe turning it into a VRchat world with some cooperation. In bed we did our puzzles and I played a little Kerbal. It started thundering a lot after she went to sleep and I kept getting startled so I put on my earmuffs. While taking the dogs out, I stood atop the rock in the yard and was watching the lightning. It was very scary for me to do at first but I got used to it pretty quick. Then I started putting my bed together in it's new position but the blanket I use as my sheets had a big damp spot I missed so I have my fun blowing under it right now. It should be dry so I'm going to finish the job and go to bed.

[somerandomg33k]

An rambling rant incoming

"How are you today?" Asked by no one so far. Only because I just started my day. Well, since you want to know, I'm Angry. What started this? My friend Johanna Roberts said that she still needs money for food and pills in DMs. As she often said, life on SSDI forces her to beg online for money in order to live. So after checking my credit cards accounts, bank accounts, as well as my past Paypal and Cash App transactions (I'm glad I checked those. I've been burned by that before.) I had only $30 to give Johanna. I won't get any more money until the 28th, my next payday. So unless others are also able to give, check my pinned tweet and Facebook post, it is going to be a tough week for Johanna. The end of the month is always tough on her because she get her full SSDI of only $1400 at the beginning of the month. And this is after I spent money last night to buy Fork Knife skins. I also got skins for my friends, and I don't regret that.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty for spending money on myself. And, of course, I am not blaming Johanna or anyone else who asks for money. But I will always hate it when someone asks for money, and I don't have any to give.

This is why I don't really like it that I can't work weekends like I used to. Coming on Sundays is part of the 'excessive hours' my manager talked to me about. I mentioned my shitty pay for what I do. And I have to work with him to get a raise, essentially. Meaning not work Sunday. Still haven't gotten the raise yet. And I know the importance of relaxing and not overworking myself. Believe me, I am not working hard all 10 to 11 hours of my weekday shifts. Half the time, I am on the PC on Twitter, Twitch, Discord, Facebook, and Youtube. But not getting as much Overtime pay when I did work 70 hours a week is very noticeable for my take-home pay. And I honestly wish I could wake up sooner on the Saturdays I do work so that I can clock in 11 to 12 hours of overtime work instead of just 8 when I sleep in until 10 am. I also dislike it in I sleepin a bit on the weekdays too because that does mean less clocked in hours. And while on the days I don't work, I get to Twitch stream which I do love doing and get to have great conversations there. Twitch streams doesn't make as much money for me as working overtime does.

Anything I hate, Liberals and the Democrats. Liberals mostly because they uphold the State and Capitalism. And especially in the USA, if you tell them that Liberalism is a right-wing ideology, they will get mad. Capitalism is inherently Ablest, and Capitalism requires poverty to function. And my friends are begging online for money because of Capitalism. And I get made fun of for being so vehemently Anti-Capitalism by Liberals. I bet a Liberal would see my rant post and go, "See, this is why we need to vote in the Midterms." I UNDERSTAND HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO VOTE!!! SHUT UP ALREADY!!! But voting is just harm reduction. And it is questionable how much harm reduction it does. That is probably something that Liberals will never understand with me. The only time I will trust and have faith in The Democrats is when all of its members are as progressive as Bernie, Omar, AOC, etc. etc. And Bernie and AOC have their own issues too. And that will never happen to the Dems because the Dems are a conservative Capitalist Right-wing party with leadership that is vehemently Anti-Communist too. They want to means test any and all benefit programs so folks "wouldn't abuse it."

There are even some Liberals that are against an UBI too, agreeing with the Democrats leadership on that. Now I have my criticism for a UBI as well but that is because I am an Anarcho-Syndicalist that says we should learn to live and build a society without relying on the State and Capital. I know that previous statement conflicts with me saying I wishing I can clock in more overtime hours to give money to my friends in need. And that me charging up my credit cards to give to my friends in need is me relying on capital to help them. Well, THEY NEED TO PAY RENT NOW! THEY NEED TO EAT NOW! THEY NEED TO PAY THEIR POWER BILL NOW! Besides, all Socialists, Communists, and Anarchists live in cognitive dissonance because we are forced to live under Capitalism.

Yes I will vote in the midterms because I do understand how important it is that the Fascist party of the Thuglicans are not in power. But that doesn't mean I believe that change will happen when the Democrats keep power. It has always been proven that the party won't fight with its own members anyway. So the Dems are only as progressive as its most conservative members. This time, it is Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. But there have been many others before like them. And there are many other conservative Dems in the party. It is just Manchin and Sinema that are taking the lime light and attention away from the rest of them. Remember, Joe Biden said to Wall Street, "Nothing will Fundementally change." That is the choice each general election in the USA. Your validable choices are the Conservative Capitalist 'Nothing will Fudnementally change' party or the Fascist party. CAN I SAY I HATE THEM BOTH!??!?!

And it is clear to me that Liberals are fine with Nothing Fundementally changing because it doesn't bother them as much. Or again, their faith that, "We can pull Biden to the Left." No you can't. He refuse to forgiven up to $50,000 dollars of student debt. Only did $10,000 just before the Midterms. Biden has increased the Police budgets way more than the previous president. And Many of the Dems support increased Police budgets. All after one of the world's largest racially charged Anti-Police uprisings in 2020.

Remembers, Liberals, The Dems leadership are the White Moderates that MLK Jr warned about that are far more willing to work with White Collaborators then Anti-Racists. Because the White Moderates can not view White Supremacy in any way that also includes them in the picture. So they choose to view White Supremacy as just a personal failing of someone hurting someone's else feelings base on race instead of a system of power that favors one race over other races. And the White Moderates also hates to see themselves being privileged by said system of power. Hence why they don't challenge it.

And Liberals know that The Dems will break campaign promises. They are used to it by now. Joe Biden did promise $2000 checks if the two Dems win their Senate seats in Georiga. They did. But we only got $1400 checks. "I know we were only getting $1400 checks." Thanks, I hate it. Johanna would love $2000 instead of $1400. Some haven't even gotten that too.

And now the Dems wants our votes agains despite not doing much with the power they have. "Well, yes. The Dems only have a slim majority. That is why we need to vote more. VOTE HARDER!!!" Urg. See why I don't have faith in them. If the Dems lose the midterms, it is their own fault for not passing voting protection at all when they have the slim majority to do so, if they wanted too.

And Liberals even say it is a good thing that this system is as slow as it is. Some Liberals say that even if all of the Senators are as progressive as Bernie Sanders, he still has his flaws, and even if all of the members of the House of Representatives are as progressive as AOC, who still has some Ablesm too, the system in the USA will still be slow. And that is a good thing, apparently. I don't know why. Perhaps it is a good thing for power to be in the hands of the few. Liberals are probably okay with benevolent dictators, so long as it is one that they voted for. "Don't blame me. I voted for Kudos." Because of that tiny bit of participation that they feel like they have influence on the system. Even though there choices are limited to the Conservative Capitalist 'Nothing will Fudnementally change' party or the Fascist party. "It is still a choice and a clear one. Choice for the lesser of two evils." So you do agree that the Dems are evil then, right? Great to see we agree on something, I guess. "If everyone votes, that fixes all of the problems with the system." Really? Really? So if the only options for President was Joe Manchin or Mitt Romney, all of our problems will be fixed if everyone votes? I doubt that.

This I why I don't have love for Electoralism. Electoralism is a dead end. The most you get is harm reduction. Electoralism doesn't fixes Johanna situation with her life on SSDI. At least not until something like 20 years from now. Because UBI is very very far off, according to Liberals. I do agree with that and I hate it. But it is because of that that I don't have a love for voting like they do. It is important but is it just a bit of a stopgap against Fascism, currently.  End of rant, for now.

[purplesurveys]

1557

When was the last time you fell?: Couple of weeks ago when I slipped in the bathroom and damn near knocked my head straight to the ground. Literal millimeters away from a bad concussion; and it would’ve left me shaken up for the rest of the morning and given me an existential crisis if I didn’t just have to immediately get back to work lol.

What’s the last flavor of ice cream you had?: I had the cookies and cream variant of the Magnum ice cream.

Do you know a Stephen?: Nope, nobody comes to mind.

Green or Purple?: Purple.

Are you currently mad at anyone?: I’m feeling a bit resentful towards a certain person, but not mad.

Do you own any sundresses?: Yeah, I have a lot of them because I used to have a sundress phase back in high school and college. I’ve mostly grown out of it now, but I still keep the dresses around if in case I need to wear something lightweight and comfy.

Have you done any deep cleaning recently?: No.

Have you ever cooked a meal for a large group of people? I was about to say no until I remembered that one of our major projects in home economics when I was in high school was to come up with a food business and serve the entire high school body for a day. Thinking about it now, it’s an insane assignment that should technically be illegal lol – but in any case, we had to do that and I remember our group coming up with a burger business. We had something else too...chicken tenders I think it was? We had to make hundreds of each dish and overall it went well, but again thinking about it now I’m just glad we never heard of any health issues from the students who bought from us.

Do you like reading peoples survey answers?: Sure!

Do you check your email daily?: My work email I obviously check every weekday since that’s part of my routine – but I keep it off-limits on weekends because boundaries; as for my personal email, I check it probably once a week.

Have you ever used a whole tube of chapstick or do you usually lose it before doing so?: I don’t use lip balm.

When did you last wash your hands?: Around an hour ago after using the washroom.

Do you enjoy being outside in the rain?: I love the rain, but I don’t like being stuck in it – like I hate having to drive while it’s pouring hard. It’s only calming to me when I happen to be safe indoors.

What are some lyrics to the last song you listened to?: "On a day you hate being yourself, on a day you want to disappear forever, let’s build a door in your mind. Once you open the door and enter, this place will wait for you, it’s okay to believe the magic shop that will comfort you.”

Do you ever read the newspaper or get all your news online or television? Online. It was never a habit of mine to read the newspaper.

Have you ever watched a meteor shower?: No, they are never visible here.

Does the number 8 have any significance to you? No, it doesn’t.

Who has the best hair that you know?: A person I work with has naturally curvy hair that I find really pretty.

Have you ever been to an aquarium?: Yeah, I’ve been to the one in Manila. I'm 100% sure I’ve also gone to an aquarium abroad, but I can’t remember which country it was.

Are you currently happy?: Yeah, I’m generally a happy person as long as you take out the work aspect of my life. I can’t wait to get that shit all sorted out, lmao.

What’s a reason for your happiness?: Self-love and contentment is a big part of it.

Is there a light on in the room you’re in?: Yes.

Do you know anyone that has a birthday today?: Yeah, it’s Kaye’s birthday today! She was supposed to host a birthday dinner this weekend and invited me to it, but last Thursday she told me she was going to hold it off for now since med school got a bit too hectic. Anyway, I’m just waiting for the rescheduled date but I’m definitely going to be there; I’ve really appreciated how she’s seemingly come out of nowhere to be closer with me the past few months and I’d love to be able to celebrate her day with her.

Have you ever been to a car show? I don’t think so. I’m trying to remember if my dad has brought me to one in the past, but my memory is coming up blank so it’s most likely a no. Do you like grocery shopping?: Sure. It can be tempting to put a bunch of snacks in the cart though haha but otherwise I find the experience pretty calming.

Have you ever been in a play?: We held school productions every year and participating in them was mandatory, so yup. I’ve never been in a play voluntarily though – I’m not a theatre person.

Can you see a mirror from where you’re at?: Nopes.

Do you have a large or small backyard?: I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle. It doesn’t like, lead to a forest or anything like that lmao but it’s also definitely not cramped. We’ve hosted parties there a few times that comfortably fit a good number of people.

Do you like blueberries? I like some blueberry-flavored things, but not the fruit.

What’s your favorite flavored water?: I don’t like flavored water.

If given opportunity, would you go to outer space?: Continued from last Sunday. Yes, I would. I don’t think the astronaut in me ever died out.

Do you own a record player?: Nah. It’s been part of my wishlist forever, but I just never get around to getting one. I have nowhere to place it in my room anyway so I’m not too bothered.

Has religion ever come between you and somebody?: Yeah. I remember when my ex had some sort of epiphany about religion and suddenly gave God a chance, and that definitely led to a bit of a fallout between us. If I remember correctly it got resolved when we agreed to just never raise the topic of religion and to let each other discover and explore our spirituality on our own – which honestly should’ve already been a blaring red flag.

When did you last have an important conversation with someone?: A few nights ago.

Does caffeine cause you to get shaky? When I’ve had one too many cups. I’m used to drinking 2 full cups at most, and last Sunday when I had 3 it already made my body start freaking out lol. Head was ringing, stomach kept doing somersaults, I took too many trips to the toilet, the whole shebang. Not pleasant at all.

Is there a scar on your body that you can’t explain? No. I know where each of them came from.

Have you ever accidentally shut your finger up in a door?: Fortunately, no. 

What would you say that most people know you for?: Never shutting up about BTS.

What’s your favorite kind of juice?: Idk, let’s just go with orange since I’m most likely to take a sip of that.

Do you have any stuffed animals?: Does Tata count as a stuffed animal? Hahaha I have two. What are you up to today?: I mean it’s 11:43 PM, so all there is left for me to do really is to wrap this survey up and start preparing to turn in.

Do you wear hats often?: Yeah, I wear bucket hats like 8 out of 10 times I’m outdoors.

Do you have any nieces or nephews? Not yet. Waiting for my friends and cousins to give me ‘em ;) Hahaha.

Do you own a religious book?: No.

Have you ever owned a wreck it journal?: Nah. As a teen, unsurprisingly, I really wanted to collect them – but I think even younger me subconsciously knew that I had no creativity to show for those journals, so I never actually ended up buying any versions of it.

What did you last purchase?: A bunch of party stuff for the BTS Busan concert this Saturday. Y’ALL I got a bunch of purple balloons, a purple set and a rainbow set of streamers, and this giant-ass gold ‘7′ balloon lol it’s crazy. I’m ready for this week to end because the first thing I’ll most definitely be doing is to dress the living room up.

What was a celebrity you liked as a kid?: Beyoncé. Still do.

What did you last eat that was spicy?: Ramyeon.

Have you ever had tofu?: Yes, love tofu.

Would you or have you ever held a snake?: I wouldn’t own one as a pet, but I have held snakes before.

Do you peel your apples before eating them?: I just don’t eat apples, period.

Do you season your food a lot?: I don’t cook, but I mean yeah I definitely prefer my food with lots of seasoning because that’s what helps food be more delicious. If I find something a bit bland, Knorr seasoning always helps.

Do you ever light incense? No. I never encounter incense anywhere unless I’m at church and they bring out that contraption thingy that releases the incense smoke.

Is there anything you’d like to say to someone?: Sorry I’ve been a shitty replier, I haven’t been up to talking the past few days but I’ll get back to you soon.

What are you currently wearing?: A white t-shirt with the print of a past viral tweet, and a pair of shorts.

Have you ever gotten up in the middle of the night just to talk to someone?: Grossly enough, yup.

What was the last social event you went to?: A PR event for one of the brands I handle.

Do you use the word “like” excessively? When spoken, yeah pretty often.

What are your thoughts on horse races? I don’t see the appeal.

Do you watch The Simpsons or any other cartoons?: Nope, not really big on cartoon series.

Do you find tattoos attractive?: Not as much as when I was younger.

If you have a car, does it have a name? My parents have given it a name but I never use it haha. I just refer to it by its model name - Mirage.

Why did you last see a doctor?: Haven’t been to the doctor since my UTI diagnosis two years ago. I did go to the dentist a couple of months ago to get a wisdom tooth extracted.

Do you get light headed after getting blood drawn?: I’ve never gotten my blood drawn and don’t think I will ever be up for it, lol.

What did you first think of this morning?: I thought of how loud Cooper was barking, then immediately fell back asleep.

When did you last cry?: LOL earlier watching this emotional video that one of my accounts will be releasing this weekend on their social media. 

What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen today?: Run BTS flying yoga episode hahahahaha

Have you ever been snorkeling? Sure!

Are you clumsy? Continued ages later; holy shit is this survey long lol. Yeah. I’m not as clumsy as I used to be, but I will sometimes still knock cups of water over, trip over air, lose my balance, accidentally slam doors, etc.

Do you prefer satin, cotton, or flannel sheets?: Cotton.

What’s your favorite kind of jam/jelly?: Guava, since that’s the one I’m most familiar with. I’m generally not a fan of jam.

What’s on your bedside table currently?: I have my lamp, earphones, company ID, a couple of ballpens, and ointment.

What’s the best compliment you’ve received recently?: Angela was telling me how this new top I bought suits me really well.

What’s some things you always make sure to pack before going on a trip?: My phone and laptop (and their chargers) and underwear are pretty much my only must-haves. Everything else, I wouldn’t be too bothered if I realize I’ve forgotten to bring them with me.

What’s one of your strengths?: Looking after people.

Have you ever spent more than $100 on a pair of shoes?: Yup.

Would you say you’re an impulsive person? A lot less than I used to be, but yeah I still have my tendencies sometimes.

What have you last been diagnosed with?: UTI, but this was forever ago.

What’s something that makes you quirky?: Idk, maybe some of my habits when it comes to food. Admittedly I’m pickier than I think I am, like the way I absolutely have to peel the skin off fried chicken so I can save it for last, or the way I have a particular ‘trail’ I follow when eating a burger haha.

What types of cheese do you consume the most?: I’d say mozzarella.

Do you purchase extended warranties on your electronics? No.

What was the last restaurant you ate at? I don’t remember the name of the place but it was this wings place in BGC right after we had a pitch. It was the only spot that didn’t have a waiting list and we needed to have lunch immediately so we could go back to work, so we ended up there. It was good! I had this unique dish of theirs that was basically a love child of boneless chicken and pizza lol.

What was the last sweet beverage you had?: Caramel macchiato, last night.

Do you believe in psychic ability? I do not.

Have you ever won any carnival games before?: Not that I can recall.

What was the last fun thing you did?: Watching the BTS Busan concert! Yesterday was PERFECT. I had my place completely dressed up with a ridiculous amount of balloons, and I had these cute and colorful streamers on the walls too and even a giant purple ‘7’ balloon. Six friends came over and it was basically a screaming and singing fest for the whole 1.5 hour show, and it was just so so so so so SO much fun; I was so giddy the entire time and still am haha.

Do you wear glasses?: I do.

What song did you last have on repeat?: Run BTS.

When did you last have pizza delivered?: Yesterday;  it was one of the things I had delivered for our watch party.

What do you normally pay for your hair cuts?: Trims are usually just P100 where I live.

What’s your favorite decoration in your place of residence?: The coffee table we have in the living room - because my late grandpa made it.

How many computers/laptops are in the building you’re in?: Three.

Have you ever been to a rodeo?: Nope.

What frosting goes best on cake?: Chocolate or cream cheese.

How long does it take you to get ready? 15-30 minutes, depending on how indecisive I am on my outfit for the day.

Do you do some form of exercise daily?: No.

Have you ever won a big prize for something?: I’ve won the bigger prizes in a couple of raffles.

Do you think it’s true that good things come to those who wait?: Yeah, but I am also in the belief that you have to actively work hard for those good things to actually be closer to you.

Do you show your feelings?: Sometimes, but I feel like I am more reserved these days. I only show my frustrations and whatnot to people I’m really close to and comfortable with.

Have you ever held a chicken?: I don’t think I have.

Would you rather feel too much or nothing at all?: Too much.

Are you hard to please?: Nopes.

What is today’s date?: October 16.

[alluringjae]

queen of hearts - sjn

summary: for the first time, one of your star students hasn’t been fetched right after class. but when she finally does, you weren’t expecting such a fine man to be her father.

pairing: johnny x female reader

word count: 5.5k

genre: fluff, romance, comedy | ceo and single dad!johnny + ballerina!reader + modern day!au

warnings: mentions of an absent parent, johnny being an overthinker, sexual innuendos (ten saying dilf hehe), slight explicit language, technical terms of ballet, a mini reference to mean girls

author’s note: sooo i came in touch with my former dance life, which led me to write this. there are links for the variations i used; their names are underlined when they’re mentioned. i am going to get technical with ballet terms here (even when my ballet knowledge decreased), so to any dancers reading, i really did my best, so please don’t come for me or do correct me for any mistakes.

although one character and her dance background, plus the name of the setting, are real, everything else about it is still a work of fiction.

i miss dancing, no cap.

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Ballet student and teacher by day, a soloist of the Korean National Ballet at night.

This was your daily routine, and it wasn’t the typical 8-5. But it’s debatable whether or not it was worse, because you’re always going overtime. That’s the thing when you’re an overachiever. Nonetheless, you loved what you do. It’s the lifestyle you gradually built since your preschool days.

Mornings on the weekdays were mostly vacant since all the kids were still in school. You’d start at 10 am for a warm-up class for the company. Before you delved into teaching and assisting, you’d train right after your lunch break. Partnering class, en pointe class, 1-on-1 sessions with choreographers, self-practice, then the company night class, that’s the organization of your week.

Now adding the teacher title, you mostly handled kindergartners to 5th graders in the academy aspect of the company. Your first teaching class would start at 1 pm. It’s when the younger students who finished their morning classes zoom into your assigned dance studio. One class would last an hour and a half, then you have a 30-minute break in between another class with the older kids. Their lesson repertoire was more strenuous due to the added across-the-floor lessons and jumps. Water was always your best friend, water refilling stations located everywhere in the company building.

You wouldn’t say you’re a strict teacher, but you weren’t shy to correct anyone from wherever you stood. You’d lightly align their arms or back properly so your students were working on the correct body parts. Compared to the other teachers, a lot of students enjoyed your kind yet frank approaches. Your former students, who’ve already gone to the higher levels, missed your lively presence and wished repeatedly that they want you back as their teacher.

“Teacher (Y/N), I miss you so much! Teacher Ten is so intense. I get the jitters especially when we’re en pointe on the floor.”

“Teacher (Y/N), Teacher Sicheng and Teacher Seulgi scare the heck out of me during partnering class. Especially when I tried to lift my partner, I keep losing focus because of Teacher Sicheng’s never-ending comments!”

Not to be sadistic, but you’d simply laugh at their minuscule complaints. Even if they’re struggling in the academy, those comments were directed to fix their techniques if they wanted to breakthrough.

“Kids, you’re going to be fine! They wouldn’t say or do those things just because they wanted to. They’re here to push you to the next level, like how I used to do with you. It’s a cut-throat industry after all.”

This was always your reply, bittersweet and truthful. Not everyone makes it, unfortunately, so if you’re really striving, you’d do whatever it takes. Throughout your career, you’re relatively impressed with how far you’ve come.

Trainee at 17, Corps de Ballet at 18, Demi-Soloist at 21, and Soloist at 23.

You’ve been a soloist for 4 years. The final stage, which was to become a principal dancer, is your running goal. Becoming a soloist was praiseworthy enough because you’ve seen so many give up in the Corps, but claiming a spot as a principal dancer has been the ultimate dream. Since you’ve watched Swan Lake for the first time at 4 years old with your parents, that’s where you found a passion for dancing and the stage. Here you are years later, practicing numerous variations daily, performing in opera houses, and mentoring all these gifted kids.

Your last class with elementary kids, which began around 5 pm, reached its end once all the students curtsied in front of you and scurried to their mothers or their nannies. The remaining plan on your agenda today was the company class at 7:30 pm, which exceeds the average hour and a half. It’s worse during show season. There have been times everyone went beyond midnight to polish every scene from head to toe.

Currently, there’s no upcoming show for the public, though the annual summer recital for the students was around the corner. Selected members of the company were chosen to perform individually in it, which was both exciting and intense. It’s also because it’s an evaluation on whether you’d get promoted in status or staying put. You’ve partaken in 3 recitals in the past, two of which elevated you from the corps and demi-soloist ranks. The recent one, however, didn’t change your soloist ranking.

It was a major first in your career in ballet, and after finding out the result of the latter, it emotionally pained you. Recalling how much soul you put into that piece, the rejection from your artistic director clenched your heart. Though in time, you moved on from it and viewed it as a stepping stone. Also, Sicheng and Ten personally stormed your apartment to pull yourself together with wine and pizza after going on a short leave.

Since you were trainees, Sicheng and Ten were your best friends in and outside the company. Working daily to occasional barhopping, that’s your youth summed up. It wasn’t because you didn’t like the girls you’ve worked with (though a lot of them were fake and bitchy), but these two were frank and humorous as hell. Together, you’d help each other with your goals rather than be competitive. Over time, Ten leveled up to a principal dancer for 2 years running while you and Sicheng were still soloists. The way you’d watch Ten take all the big roles, that’s where you want to be one day.

Back in your last teaching class, the entire dance room was vacant. Since it’s mainly used for ballet classes, you’d either run through anything you’ve practiced from the company classes and polish it or warm up a little bit more.

Except for today, this was the only free time to sew a new pair of pointe shoes because your current ones were dead. Dead in a sense that the hard shell turned soft, which won’t be able to support you when you’re up on your toes. You’re not taking any risks of minor injuries especially when you’re in the current lineup of company members performing for this upcoming recital again. You have to prove to everyone that you deserve a position as a principal dancer.

As your legs sprawled in a half middle split, your sewing equipment laid in front of you like you’re about to perform surgery, a tiny girl stood by the ajar studio doors. In her neat bun and holding on to her small duffel bag, you’re convinced everyone has gone home already since it’s quite late.

You may have your priorities as a company member, but she was still your student.

“Minji!” You shouted her name, speedily waving your hand. You’re not one to have favorites, though you couldn’t help wonder how extraordinary she was. She’s always taking charge in demonstrating the lessons to everyone and improving every session in the 3 years she’s joined the academy. “Come in! Come in!”

At age 7, she’s gotten taller through the years, above the average from how you see it. She must have amazing genetics. Her legs sauntered in seconds to you. Sitting down across you, she marveled at your setup. Specifically, at the fresh pointe shoes.

“Are those yours, Teacher (Y/N)?” She perked up, caressing its soft fabric and playing with the mini bows of the drawstrings.

“Yes, it is, Minji!” You answered while trying to insert the thin thread through the small eye of the needle. “Why are you still here? Is your nanny stuck in traffic or something?”

“My nanny went on sudden leave, so my dad’s the one fetching me. But I think he’s running late from his job.”

Oh, this was a first to know about her father. In all the years she’s been your student, you rarely caught sight of him, even in recitals. Maybe he sat in an unknown section, but you’re pretty much acquainted with all the parents of your students. Even if some were snobbier than the rest because they wanted their child to have more stage time, you still got to know them out of respect. Quite odd, if you said so yourself.

After deep concentration, the thread triumphantly passed through the eye so you tied the two ends of the thread in a double knot. Seeing as Minji attentively watched you, you tasked her to cut the ribbons of your shoes according to the trail of pencil marks. This was so she wouldn’t cut it too short or too long. While she did that, you hammered your shoes against the floor to soften the hard front, bending the shank back and forth so the arch of your feet could move without difficulty later.

Minji wasn’t expecting such loud sounds, her entire body shaken awake. Her facial expression was priceless, explaining to her, “Once you get your first pointe shoes in a few years, this is one of the basic things you need to do so your feet won’t hurt too much while dancing.”

“Will you be there to teach me how to make my pointe shoes?”

“Absolutely! Come to me first then I’ll mentor you all that I know.”

The process of sewing and breaking new pointe shoes engraved your mind since your adolescent years, with changes along the way. Inspired by some tricks from your former teachers, but there were some differing rituals you followed. There’s no definite process of it, just as long you’re comfortable to dance after.

With your feet, you stepped on the hard boxes of the shoes to soften it more, creating a popping sound. Followed by sewing your elastic bands in. For your ribbons, you liked to burn the edges with a lighter so the thread of it won’t run. Kindly asking your cute assistant for the lighter beside her, you scanned the edges back and forth the flame. In seconds, the edges had a distinct mark, fully closed. From there, you slid your feet to your shoes to make final sewing adjustments. Sewing your ribbons took you another few minutes, plus adding superglue inside the shoe so the shoe won’t collapse when it unstiffens and scratching the shank with a cutter so you won’t slip later while dancing.

Voila, the final product is done! Hopefully, it can last you a week at least.

“Wow, Teacher (Y/N), it looks pretty!” Minji applauded, collecting the mess you’ve both made to dispose of later. You, on the other hand, gave her your thanks once you applied some bandages on your big toes and put on your toe pads. Slipping inside the shoes and tying them, you rose up back to your feet and headed to the bar to break them in. From plies-relevésto forced arches, the shoes gave you the sensation that they were an extension of your feet. The ease flowed through, meaning you were ready to practice your variations.

While you stepped your shoes in rosin for friction, your curious student moved to the front where the mirror lied to watch what you’ve prepared.

“What variation are you dancing to?”

“This is the Gamzatti variation from La Bayadere.” You replied, tapping the play button on your phone and racing to your position on the side. Talking a short ballet walk, you strongly prepared your arms before the music of the orchestra takes off.

This variation consisted of a lot of jumps and turns. Grand jetés, attitude turns, chaîné turns, you needed a lot of core control and proper spotting so you won’t get dizzy. The thrilling music lessened your nerves because you enjoyed learning this piece from one of the principal dancers, smiling and letting the music guide your legs. Once you nailed 3 consecutive grand jetés, the variation ended with a sus-sous and the wrists of your hands flicking upwards.

Holding it for 5 more seconds, you landed back on your feet with heavy breathing and a need for water. But before you could, small claps and cheers from Minji in front erupted. Momentarily, you’ve forgotten her presence because dancing solo puts you in your own space. You’d never let anyone take you away from it.

“Teacher (Y/N), that was wonderful! Are you performing that in the summer recital?”

Yikes, she’s right but she wasn’t meant to see it yet. Solo performances from the company members for the recital were top secret, only unveiled during the production rehearsal. Well, you didn’t think this through, but you didn’t mind.

“Can you keep a secret?”

Time ticked a lot faster today, only 10 minutes left until the company class on the ground floor whereas you were in the second. Just a few steps down the stairs away, yet Minji was still here. You only presumed that within your hour break, her father could’ve made it already. But maybe he’s stuck in traffic or at work.

“Minji, my class starts soon. Have you contacted your father?”

“I already texted him earlier, but he hasn’t responded. This happens often, he’s a busy man.” She bowed in front of you suddenly. “I’m sorry, Teacher (Y/N) for the hassle.”

“Oh no, please!” You shook your hands so she’d stop. Because this situation was relatively new, you were unsure of how to handle it. Or that was until you remembered what Ten texted you earlier. “Minji, the blinds of the main studio are going to be lifted so anyone from the outside can view us practicing. Would you like to watch until your dad gets here?”

With her insistent nodding, she situated herself in one of the seats in the front row. When you entered the main studio, your two close companions already carried a metal barre to the center and leaned towards it while observing you walking to them in your flat shoes.

“I see we have a bit of an audience here.” Ten glimpsed at the young girl, astonished by the many dancers prepping and chatting away with their cliques from the glass barrier.

“Her dad isn’t here yet, and you did say the blinds were up today. Might as well give her a show while she waits, you know.” You lifted your right leg to the top barre, stretching it with your arms.

“Hmmm, shouldn’t her dad be more cautious though? It’s getting late and it’s a Thursday. Doesn’t she have school or something?” Sicheng pointed out, discarding his muscle tee to straighten out his leotard.

“That’s not my business though. She’s just my student, and since she’s still here, I have to entertain her while she waits.”

Before your friends said anything back, the artistic director of the ballet company strutted her way to the center of the room. It’s a common rule here that once she entered, everyone must be silent to listen and race to any free spot in the numerous barres spread out if they haven’t.

“Alright, everyone. We’ll do the typical barre, then before doing across the floor exercises, I’ll be requesting those performing solos already in the recital to dance any variation tonight as another evaluation on who deserves to perform twice.” She eyed the pianist directly beside her. “Proceed first with two demi-pliés then one grand plié. Don’t forget to do the port de bras of each position.”

As the live piano music played, your focus was divided. Partly properly executing the exercise while your artistic director roamed each barre area, partly thinking about what variation to perform. This was a first for the company, and everyone was just stunned to hear the breaking news. It’d be nice to get an extra opportunity to showcase to people your potential.

30-40 minutes flew by quickly. As the guys carried the bars to the side to clear out the floor and the girls changed to their pointe shoes, the artistic director ordered all the performers of the recitals to stand in a line in front of her. Everyone else was seated around the room, so the interested eyes of everyone were on you. There were 10 performers, half are from the corps and the other half are either demi-soloists or soloists. You and Sicheng stood beside each other, internally shaking with nerves under the intimidating eyes of the artistic director. She used to be a principal dancer for the Stuttgart Ballet in Germany before moving back to Seoul, making her undeniably capable of leading all of you.

“Okay,” From her seated position observing the 10 performers, her finger pointed at you directly. “Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), you perform first.”

Your nerves intensified and more sweat streamed out your upper body. Even if going first felt more relieving, no one was ever brave enough to perform individually in front of the esteemed artistic director. Principal dancers aside from Ten that you’re close with were intimidated when they have 1-on-1 or partnering sessions with her. But anyhow, in less than 2 minutes, you’d be done. This wasn’t the first time she’s had your full attention either, so you’ll treat it like the other individual performances you’ve had.

You smiled to yourself when the other soloists left you alone, while you gave the name of the variation you’re dancing to the pianist. Running to the side to put on a practice tutu, the artistic director asked, “What will you be dancing for us tonight, (Y/N)?”

“I’ll be dancing Queen of the Dryads from Don Quixote.”

The last time you did this variation was 3 years ago during the recital that didn’t change your position as a soloist. Even if this variation hurt to think about for a while, it was still one of your favorites to watch and do. Moving on, you could only muse how powerful and beautiful you felt at that time. This isn’t an easy piece to perform in your opinion. Yet according to the members of the company, this was their favorite solo of yours.

As the starting notes unfolded, you took a deep breath and elegantly walked into the frame. You only wished you wore your fake crown again for this. Minimal smiling and light arms, you imagined yourself as an actual queen who captured the eyes of many. In this case, your fellow seniors and juniors held their breaths at the captivating sight of you.

Off you go into a series of glissade jeté developpé on relevé at elevating heights, then a fouetté arabesque and another arabesque on relevé before ballet walking again to the side to dance across the stage. Sissonne to the front, right developpé to the front on relevé, pique to prepare for a single pirouette, you gracefully did a chassé to the front twice and stood on your toes with a sus-sous.

Doing it a few more times, the climax of the entire variation was nearing. Returning to the center, you took another deep breath and lifted your left leg for the Italian fouettés. Spotting to the front and back while maintaining your balance, the variation approached its end with lame duck turns, posing with your arms were positioned at a 45-degree angle, your back slightly arched and your left leg doing a tendu derriére. Your eyes reflected at the mirror in front, surveying your alignment. Once your 5-second hold was finished, you properly put your arms down and closed your back leg into 5th position.

The applause from everyone in the room roared, Ten and Sicheng wolf-whistling even for more support. It’s a usual thing every time any of you perform individually, and no one minded it. The artistic director grinned, giving a quiet clap from the front before calling out the next performer, who was from the corps. Bowing to everyone hastily, you paid more attention to spot your student by the window. She was smiling ear to ear, waving both hands at you.

“You did amazing, Teacher!” She mouthed. Hearing words of praise from members was one thing, but hearing them from students was another. You’re so used to watching them and giving them your compliments that you often forget that you’re a dancer first before a teacher. Seeing them all delighted, saying that it motivates them more, showed that you’re doing a great job teaching them. You’re a reflection of what you pass down, and all you want was for them to be the best they could be.

From her jolly expression, a tall masculine silhouette hovered a part of the window. Her instinct of giving a brighter smile when the hand of said silhouette patted her head then carried her duffel bag again, that could only mean one thing. Excusing yourself to the artistic director, you stepped out to bid your goodbye and maybe meet her father. Minji and the tall man were about to leave the building if it weren’t for your breathy voice calling them out.

“Seo Minji and Mr. Seo?”

They stopped their tracks. Minji was fast to react, familiar with your voice and racing towards you for a sweaty hug. Meanwhile, your focus shifted once the masculine silhouette came into full view. You finally understood why Minji’s growth spurt spiked up, noticing that he was taller than Sicheng.

The top buttons of his shirt were off, yet he kept his formal blazer on. His hair was a bit tousled, some strands falling in front of his forehead. He must’ve run here. Peeking through were some roots of his scruff growing. His eyebags were almost as dark as his brown hair. Yet by the way his Rolex remained spotless, you blatantly assumed that he was more than well-off. Especially when the ballet academy was one of the most prestigious ones in Seoul.

Out of all the parents you’ve met, none of them appeared youthful like him.

“Teacher (Y/N)?” Thanks to Minji, you moved your staring eyes away from him. This was another first, since meeting only the fathers of your students wasn’t your norm. Meeting young-looking fathers, to be specific.

“O-Oh,” You ate your words, suddenly blanking out. “You’re leaving me without saying goodbye, Minji? Not polite of you.”

“My father was rushing right after watching your performance, and I don’t know why.” She responded, her finger scratching the top of her head in confusion. Speaking of said father, his strong presence appeared right in front of you. The wrinkles of his forehead creased while his eyes barely looked at yours.

“Uhm,” His fingers toyed with his Rolex. “I apologize for my tardiness. I got caught up in work and all, plus her nanny le-”

“Mr. Seo.” You halted his rambling, already aware of the situation. Like father, like daughter. “It’s fine. Minji loved watching us practice while waiting, and she wasn’t a bother either. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Phew.” He swiped an imaginative bead of sweat from his forehead, displaying his relief with his playful nature.

At age 23, Johnny Seo started his own company in the fashion scene and it grew internationally in the coming years. Then when Minji unexpectedly joined the picture, he’s been multi-tasking to make ends meet. Lately, as a CEO, he has had meetings and conferences on a daily. So, his position as a single father was always tested. It worsened when he rarely has proper time to spend any time with Minji unless it’s the weekend or late in the evening. Breaking it down, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet you. It was more like he couldn’t when his schedules were packed from head to toe.

Having the guilt of taking your precious time, “Seriously though, I am sorry for being late. Her nanny resigned suddenly, and I have no time to find her replacement.”

“Mr. Seo, again, don’t worry about it. As her teacher and a company member, I am practically here 24/7 so it won’t be a nuisance at all if this happens again.”

“Thank you so much, Teacher (Y/N). That is your name, right?” He planted his palm on his forehead, stressed. “Being a single parent is hard. I am always forgetting things.”

A part of you couldn’t restrain from feeling sorry for his struggle. Taking care of a child should be the work of both the mother and father, not one of them being absent. You’ve feared this would harm Minji, but she’s a strong girl.

“The fact you didn’t forget to fetch Minji despite the late time is still something to be happy over. I’m not a parent or anything, but parenting, in general, is a challenge.” You added an insight, patting the head of the young girl beside you. “Cut yourself some slack, Mr. Seo. I’m sure Minji still loves you, right?”

Minji shouted a big yes, now clinging to the leg of her father. “It’s okay, dad. Really.”

Over the years, Johnny has been doubtful of his parenting skills. He was an only child, and he struggled to ask for guidance from his own parents due to the shame of having a kid at a young age. So, he’d ask for help from his other friends and co-workers. No matter how many times they’ve reassured him that he’s doing well, he’s an overthinker who always reflected on the bad scenarios. There’s also that pressure to find someone who can fill that absent position not just for Minji, but for himself too. No matter how many girls he’s asked out or been set up with, he failed in the love department badly.

It’s the soothing way you voiced out your truth that made all these negative thoughts running through his head freeze briefly. Over the past 3 years since Minji started ballet, she always had a great story about you to share. One of them was how ballet made her a lot happier because of your influence. If he had at least an hour of his day to meet any of his daughter’s mentors, it would’ve been you.

“Do feel free to call me Johnny instead.” He casually introduced himself, taking his hand out for you to shake. “Mr. Seo makes me feel like I’m at work right now.”

Despite his informal approach, you understood his intentions and returned the action with a promising smile. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Teacher (Y/N).”

Earlier, the nerves from performing in front of the artistic director died down fast. But for some reason, they rose back up when you’ve spoken to this man in a matter of minutes. As someone whose feelings don’t flourish in a single glance, why did this man specifically deliver you such a strong effect?

If it weren’t for Ten calling for your name by the door, you would’ve held on to Johnny’s hand longer, which would’ve been inappropriate. Letting go first, this was your cue to return to your class.

“I must head back inside, Johnny. Don’t sweat on fetching your daughter late, though she is still a student with school the following day. Right, Minji?”

Minji nodded as Johnny kept that mind, knowing where he has to improve next.  “Yes, Teacher (Y/N). Thank you again, sincerely. I’ll definitely see you again in the coming days until Minji has a new nanny.”

“That’s no problem with me at all, Johnny.”

Soon as Johnny held his daughter’s hand to exit the studio and you were re-entering the studio with an impatient Ten, he swerved swiftly as if he forgot something.

“Oh by the way Teacher (Y/N), I saw your whole performance awhile ago. I was blown away, you deserved the applause.”

Although you could only distinguish his silhouette, you didn’t suppose he watched you from head to toe. Most parents or nannies would’ve dragged their kids out of the studio once they find them like they were on a tight schedule, so this was novel to experience. That performance showed your prime too.

“Thank you, Johnny. See you again soon.”

Giving a final nod, you led yourself back to the studio, not bothering to acknowledge the erupting heat on your cheeks and entire body. Not to sound narcissistic, but compliments weren’t foreign to you. You’re conscious of the hard work that you put in your talent and if they pointed out your greatness, why would you deny it? However, receiving one from Johnny was like gearing your engine with new fuel.

Before you could try to reject these harboring feelings, Ten was fast to pick up on it. You cannot hide anything from this man at all because body language was like another language he’s fluent in (aside from the other 5). Unlucky for you, the saga continued.

“You’re so into dilfs, (Y/N)!” He shrieked in your ear, nudging your shoulder repetitively. He placed things in his own way, yet they always shocked you because it was so inappropriate. Typical Ten for you.

“Shut up, Ten!” You objected, watching the other performers. You’ve improved in ignoring his remarks over time. That was until Sicheng sat down beside you after his solo and got up in your business. That placed you in the middle of boys from the water sign clan of astrology. They just loved getting down to your love life, going raunchy and whatnot.

“Who’s into dilfs, Ten?”

“A Miss (Y/N) beside you, who met Minji’s dad awhile ago, was basically eye-fucking him.” Ten elaborated, planting his elbows on your leg and gave you a sneaky glare. “Minji’s dad is fine as fuck, guys! I’m telling you, like a literal god! I’m surprised this is the first time he showed up here after 2-3 years?”

“How come (Y/N) is always getting students with good-looking parents? Especially the single moms.” Sicheng slumped his shoulders, attempting to get your attention too. “Is he that hot, (Y/N)?”

“Yah.” Sighing with annoyance, you’ve given up trying to appreciate one of the corps dancers with her rendition of Dulcinea from Don Quixote. “Don’t speak of Johnny like that. You barely know the man, yet you talk about him so unprofessionally."

“Oh, Johnny is his name, huh?” Sicheng sing-songed, bobbing his head. He’s certainly going to stalk him later on social media, you felt it in your chest. Like it was ESPN or something.

“Talking about being unprofessional, yet you’re here referring him as Johnny, not Mr. Seo.” Ten barked back, his lips pursed and one eyebrow lifted.

Just as soon as you could retaliate, the artistic director’s velvety voice boomed the room.

“Alright, thank you to the performers. I will deliberate with the staff and principal dancers over the weekend, and let you know the results on Monday. Now please, let’s proceed to the center.”

Everyone began to spread out on the wide floor, snatching a good position so they could monitor themselves in the mirror. Maybe you’ll defend yourself later after class because now, you needed to beat everyone else and have a crystal-clear view of yourself doing these following exercises.

In the meantime, Johnny was in the middle of driving Minji home. He had a designated chauffeur, but he gave him the night off because he wanted to spend time with Minji. Around this time, she’d be sleeping soundly, but instead, she’s boosting with so much life. She hasn’t even eaten dinner yet, which was the first thing on Johnny’s agenda now.

Playing Coldplay in the car, Minji belted some lyrics from her favorite songs while Johnny smiled to himself while listening to her attentively. Taking a breath, her thoughts reverted to her fantastic ballet teacher and shared them with her father.

“Dad! Don’t you just think Teacher (Y/N) is so cool? Ugh, I want to be just like her when I grow up.”

“Oh, to become a ballerina like her, you have to work hard every day and memorize lessons fast. Are you up for it, Minji?”

“Absolutely, dad! I want to pull off perfect jumps and turns like her one day!”

In the other after-school activities Johnny enrolled Minji in the past, none of them compared to the passion she had for ballet. Her work ethic was alike to Johnny’s: if they want something, they’ll do whatever it takes to make it possible.

Aside from being a star student in her school, she’s aiming to be a star ballerina. Being the supportive father he is, Johnny was on board to do what it takes to make it happen. Unlike his parents trying to mold him into the next heir of their company, he’s all ears to the dreams of his daughter. His only dream for her was to be live long and happy, not to merely pass on anything.

Johnny lost so much in his young life, so he doesn’t want to lose Minji in any way. As much as he loves his profession, he wanted to be an active father as much as time allowed it. He mostly received complaints from others that he’s not prioritizing his time well, but after hearing your kind words, this heavy weight on his shoulders decreased. All this doubt started to vanish after meeting you for the first time.

“Dad! Isn’t Teacher (Y/N) so beautiful?” Minji honored whilst gazing at the twinkling night sky. “She loves what she does and shines at it.”

Johnny was accustomed to his female co-workers throwing themselves at him due to his attractiveness, more than flattered even to have them feeling weak for him. Yes, there were times he used it to his advantage, some he frankly turned down. 

However, the radiance you carried whether you’re dancing or not was something Johnny couldn’t cease wondering about. Unknown to him, he’s the one getting weak. Behold, an unlocked first for the confident CEO.

“Yes, Minji. I do think Teacher (Y/N) is absolutely beautiful.”