#mostly just did work today since it's a weekday

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

you and Foul Legacy taking a day off and baking a cake together. it's a messy affair with many flour handprints and broken eggs, but eventually the cake comes out, baked to perfection. you let Legacy taste test the frosting, of course, his happy chitters telling you all you need to know. yet once the cake is ready, Legacy is more focused on lavishing you with affection, lifting you up and spinning you around with a cheerful chirp before he licks your cheek, happily thinking of the gifts that he and Childe procured for you, wrapped in pretty bows and paper.

everything for you, on this special day.

[stevesgother]

Chalkboard Hearts - Pt IV

Pairing - KindergartenTeacher!Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader

WC - 5.6k

Summary - A snow day prompts Steve and Abbey to spend a little one on one time together.

AN - sorry this one took a little longer! being creative is hard when the U.S keeps sucking me of all my joy. thanks for the patience, love y’all! ~ emma

Three weeks ago, your daughter’s kindergarten teacher gave you his phone number in a chilly, deserted diner parking lot, and every weekday since that night, Abbey has had to all but drag you from his classroom when you go to pick her up in the afternoons. One topic leads to another and another, and before you realize it, you and Steve have been chatting in his mostly empty classroom for over an hour. But this morning, you’re dialing those digits he gave you on your landlines keypad for the first time with shaky fingers. You’d spent the past hour exhausting all your other options. Your mother? Working. Your sister? Out of town. Your usual babysitter? sick.

Steve was the only person you knew for a fact wouldn’t be working today.

It wasn’t for a lack of wanting to that you hadn’t called yet. Every waking hour since that night, you had been wrestling with yourself about what an appropriate reason would be. Was he flirting with you? Did he genuinely just want you to have access to him in case of an emergency? Both? Your inner dialogue was deafening– like a squawking bird in the back of your brain.

The intrusive volume of your thoughts seemed to quiet now as your leg bounced impatiently– anxiety over the prospect of having to call into work outweighing your trepidation– waiting for him to pick up the call on the other line. 

He finally answered halfway through the fourth ring, “Hello?” Despite the early hour, Steve sounded wide awake. Probably rousing at the same time you did, not expecting to be temporarily blinded by three feet of bright, white snow piled on top of his car. On the kitchen radio, you can hear the newscaster announcing a closure of the local schools.

“Steve, it’s Y/N,” your voice cuts through the static.

He pauses briefly, yours probably being the last voice he expected to hear when he picked up his phone, “Hey, morning–” he clears his throat, “everything alright?”

“Yes– well– I don’t know.” You rub the tips of your fingers restlessly over your closed eyelids, “I don’t have anyone to watch Abbey with the school being closed, I've tried everyone and I really hate to ask but–”

“Of course, I can be there in thirty. Can you give me your address?”

“Are you sure, Steve? I can just call out if–”

“Don’t be ridiculous, just give me your address,” his incredulity and lack of hesitation sends the wings fluttering about in your stomach again, while cementing the reassurance of his words. You gain the courage to repeat your home address for him to write down.

You can hear the sound of pen hastily scratching paper, then after a few beats of silence he speaks again, “It’ll take me a little bit to clear off my car, but I’ll be there as soon as I can,”

“Thank you so much, you have no idea.”

“Don’t mention it,” you can hear the grin in his voice, can picture the flash of perfect white squares, “see you soon,” you breathe a heavy sigh of relief at the click of the receiver being placed back in its cradle. Abbey is bundled up on the couch watching Rugrats, a bowl of cereal in her lap. Normally, you wouldn’t let her eat in the living room, but you needed respite from her usual game of 20 Questions to make some phone calls.

“Hey, Ab,” you say as you approach her, thoroughly engrossed in her cartoons, “Is it okay if Mr. H comes over and watches you today while mommy goes to work?”

The question is more than enough to pull her focus from the television screen. Her face lights up like the Fourth of July as she nearly spills her cereal with the force of her straightening on the sofa, “Really?” She asks hopefully.

“Yes, grandma is working and Julia is sick. Is that okay?” As excited as you know she is, you want her verbal confirmation. Mostly because you’d never put your child in a situation she’s uncomfortable in; but a smaller, more selfish part of you wants to be absolved of the guilt you feel for having to leave her all day.

Your wish is granted almost instantly as she squeals and hops off the couch where she’d been lounging, placing her bowl on the coffee table. Halfway to her room, she calls, “Mommy! Where are my coloring books?”

“They’re on top of your bookshelf,” you call, “don’t make a huge mess, please!”

“I won’t!” She replies, muffled through the drywall separating you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

You hadn’t had time to tidy the house or make yourself look even remotely presentable before Steve arrived. If it weren’t for the relief that floods your body upon seeing his car pull in the driveway, you might even be a little embarrassed. Booted footsteps shuffle up the porch as you’re shoveling things into your bag at the last minute, followed by three light knocks on the door.

“Coming!” You shout from where you stand in the dining room.

Before you even have the chance to reach the foyer, Abbey is darting from her bedroom in plastic play shoes and throwing the door open with immeasurable enthusiasm.

“Hey–” Steve starts, expecting it to be you before he realizes who’s greeting him, “Oh, hi Ab,” he waves to the little face staring up at him, “Where’s your mom?”

“Mommy!” Abbey calls, “Mr. H is here!”

Steve spots you holding two pieces of notebook paper clad with chicken scratch scribblings. You look frazzled– hair thrown up hastily and scrubs wrinkly. He scours the place where he would normally find an emotion akin to pity for your distressed state, but in its absence, he only feels endearment laced with a little concern.

He doesn’t get a word in before you’re shoving the papers in his hands and spouting off information that he’s praying is already on the sheets you’ve given him.

“I should be home by five, if anything happens, this–” you point to a barely legible number, “--is my work phone. This is her doctor’s phone number and she’s allergic to peanuts. There aren’t any peanuts in the house but–” you sigh, exasperated with yourself, “just in case.”

The rest of the pages are filled with ramblings about which channels Abbey likes to watch and how to work the television. How, in case she needs a bath, you have to pull and then twist the knob for the hot water to run. That she is not, under any circumstances, allowed to put nail polish on by herself and where you keep her Epi Pens.

Steve’s surprised at how many of these sentiments he already has catalogued. He’s required to know Abbey’s emergency contacts and that she has a nut allergy for his job, but he knows that channel thirty-seven has the best cartoons because Abbey once told him that Power Puff Girls was her favorite– and you’d already relayed to him the hilariously tragic tale of what happened the last time Abbey attempted to paint her own nails.

Despite this revelation, he doesn’t dare interrupt you. He indulges your ranting, a grin creeping involuntarily along his face.

“-- sorry, I’m rambling– I’ve just never left her with someone who wasn’t my mom or her sitter before,” you’re a little breathless after two straight minutes of talking.

“Hey, hey– you’re okay,” he wastes no time reassuring you, “you know I’d never let anything happen to her.” You nod your understanding, “Besides,” now he’s speaking to Abbey, “we’re gonna have a super fun time right?”

She shouts, “Yes!”

He looks at you with his brows raised, amused, “See?”

“Okay, alright,” you kneel down, chuckling, “do I get a hug? Or am I chopped liver?”

Giggling, Abbey wraps you in a suffocating embrace, like always. Her excitement for Steve has never quelled her affection for you, and you can tell that she’s still hesitant to see you go. You smack a kiss on her cheek, grabbing your bag from the floor as you rise again.

“Swear you’ll call me if anything happens?” You ask him one more time, already knowing the answer.

“Cross my heart.” He smiles fondly, stoking the flames burning bright around the cage that your heart inhabits.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Your home is cozy, much cozier than anything Steve had growing up. He’s warmed at the idea that Abbey has the privilege of growing up in a house that feels so lived in– stains on the carpet, soft edges and yellow lighting. There’s clutter on the kitchen counter by the microwave and colorful alphabet magnets securing several bright pieces of artwork to the fridge.

“Are these the pictures you drew in art class last week?” He asks Abbey, who has been trailing behind him all through the house, pointing things out to him as they go.

“Uh-huh, Mrs. Morse helped me with that one,” she points to what Steve thinks is probably supposed to be a zebra.

“Well, you’re very talented, I love them,”

“Can we go play outside?” She asks, drawing out the last syllable and completely ignoring Steve’s compliment.

“Sure we can,” he chuckles, “where do you keep your snowsuit?”.

Abbey takes Steve by the wrist and leads him to the coat closet by the front door. Similar to the rest of your house, it’s stuffed to the brim– full of puffy nylon and heavy winter boots. He catches a glimpse of a familiar brown and green jacket– his jacket. You’d promised to wash it and return it to him, but it must’ve slipped your mind. He grins to himself at the reminiscence as he fetches Abbey’s snow gear and shuts the door.

Steve hadn’t dressed appropriately for a morning rolling around in the cold. He had slipped on a pair of your mittens, probably meant more for fashion than practicality, because his fingers were already completely numb. But he can’t seem to deny her when Abbey pleads with him to make snow angels. They’d just spent the past half an hour building two snowmen– one short like Abbey and one tall like Steve, she insisted, as she wrapped her scarf around the snowman that resembled her.

“Please, Mr. H?” She begs when she notices his hesitancy.

“Alright, alright,” he chuckles, “but then we’re gonna go inside and have lunch. Deal?”

That appears to be a good enough covenant for her, “Okay!” Abbey exclaims, falling fairly harshly to the cushioned ground. Steve braces himself for tears, but Abbey only keeps laughing in that contagious way as she begins spreading her arms and legs out beside her in a repetitive motion.

“Are you gonna make one?” She questions from her place on the ground.

He grunts as he reluctantly lowers himself down next to her, anticipating the icy wetness waiting underneath him. The snow seeps uncomfortably through his jeans, but the sound of Abbey’s unbridled joy nearly makes up for his soiled clothing.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

What’d you want to eat, Ab?” Steve calls from the pantry while Abbey changes out of her wet clothes in her bedroom.

“Not hungry!” She calls back.

He sighs, expecting her stubbornness– she was nearly as mulish as you.

“Remember the deal we made earlier?” He asks, “That if I made a snow angel with you, that you’d have to eat something for lunch, right?”

She emerges from her room, pout prominent on her strikingly adorable features, “But I wanna keep playing,” she whines, giving her foot a little stomp on the linoleum for emphasis.

“We can keep playing after, I promise,” he knows he’s not winning this battle without a compromise, “does your mom let you eat in the living room?” He asks with a lilt to his voice that makes him sound conspiratorial.

“Sometimes…”

“How about…” he pauses as if thinking, “I make us some food and we watch a movie while we eat?”

He can tell he’s got her after that– hook, line and sinker. She still pretends to mull over his proposition for a moment before agreeing, “Hmm…I think that sounds good,” she settles, trying and failing to mask her elation.

That’s how Steve ended up, plates of grilled cheese sandwiches in hand, dodging barbies and miscellaneous stuffed animals on his way to the living room a few minutes later.

“Have you found a movie yet?” He asks Abbey as he sets the plates down atop the coffee table.

“Yes but–” she jumps on her tiptoes, “I can’t reach it,”

Steve walks over to the towering shelf of VHS tapes in front of her, “Which one are you trying to reach?”

Abbey points at the tape in question, “Home Alone,”

“Alrighty,” Steve says as he grabs it with ease, “Your foods on the table, go sit while I put it in,”

Abbey, for once, does as he asks– bounding over to the coffee table with the excitement typical of a five-year-old who has an adult's permission to break a house rule.

While Steve eyes your VCR, he catches a glimpse of a photo out of the corner of his eye, causing him to pause. It’s you, no older than twenty, holding a swaddled baby in a sterile hospital room. He doesn’t recognize the picture as one he’s seen before.

Of course you’ve never seen it before, he thinks, you barely know her. Get a grip.

You’re filled with such youthful brilliance in the shot, despite the underlying weariness of having just given birth; your hair tied messily into a bun at the nape of your neck, sweat beading on your brow bone. It’s just you and Abbey, Steve thinks her father must’ve been the photographer.

He can’t help but think of himself at that age and all the stupid shit he was doing. How, if you had handed him a baby then, he wouldn’t have known the first thing about what to do with it– but here you had raised such a bright, healthy daughter and largely alone. He was struck by such a sudden and overwhelming admiration for you that he nearly forgot what he was supposed to be doing.

“Mr. H?” Abbey asked, mouth full, “When are we gonna start the movie?”

Her question sends him hurling back to reality. A reality where he’s your daughter’s kindergarten teacher, and the two of you are friendly with each other at best.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

At some point during the movie, once their lunch was reduced to crumbs on empty plates, Abbey had hauled out her box of coloring books and crayons that she had been looking for this morning.

Steve, the less creative of the two, was coloring in a cartoon illustration of a fairy while Abbey was making her own drawing on a piece of white construction paper. The lack of constant chatter is a welcome reprieve, but he knows that Abbey only becomes quiet when she’s particularly concentrated, so he chances a peek to his right at what she’s working on.

She got a death grip on a brown crayon– shaved almost down to the tip– with her tongue sticking ever so slightly between her lips as she focuses intently on her art.

The picture is of three stick figures– two tall and one significantly smaller in between them. It’s set at what looks to be a playground, a bright yellow sun in the sky and blue scribblings around white clouds. Swings, slides and even a little blue dog adorn the rest of the background.

Pleasantly surprised at her artistry, Steve says, “That looks amazing, Ab!”

She’s snapped out of her stupor, her face split with a wide toothless grin. She doesn’t thank him, only lets out a few bashful giggles at his praise and says, “I like yours too,”

“Is that you?” He points at the littlest figure.

“Mhm, see? I made her hair curly like mine!”

“It looks just like you,” he agrees, then draws her attention to the other figures, “Is this your mom and your dad next to you?”

“This is mommy,” she points, “I put her in the blue clothes she wears at work,” he knows she’s referring to your scrubs, but the phrasing makes him chuckle.

“And this is you!” She circles the figure she’s drawn with the tip of her finger. She’s included his voluminous chestnut hair and his silver wire-framed glasses, even one of the stupid striped polos he wears at school. Looking at it now, it’s obvious who it was supposed to be– but it’s so unexpected that he feels his face heat up at the realization.

“Oh, wow, Ab– That’s–” he grapples to find the words to express the juxtaposition he’s found himself in. He’s honored, truly, to be included in this portrait Abbey’s made of herself and her mother– her family– but there’s a gnawing guilt he can’t seem to shake. The fear that, in some way, he’s replacing her father.

“I love it, Ab, thank you,” he smiles fondly at her work, the proud grin she wears slowly melting the flash freeze of trepidation that encased his conscience.

“Can we hang it on the fridge for mommy to see when she gets home?” She asks after a moment.

“That sounds like a great idea.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Around four o’clock, Abbey begins asking what they’re having for dinner. Steve wonders briefly if you always have to deal with her being so ravenous.

“How about we start cooking now? That way it’ll be ready for your mom when she gets home,”

“Okay,” Abbey concurs. Steve wouldn’t consider himself a Michelin star chef by any means, but he can make a mean chicken parmesan.

A trip to the grocery store was needed to grab some ingredients. After scribbling down the required items on a crumpled receipt, and struggling for ten minutes to get Abbey’s carseat in the back of his BMW, they’re on their way.

He meets her eyes in the rearview mirror, “Do you want me to put on some music?”

“Christmas music?” She asks hopefully.

Steve isn’t the biggest fan of Christmas music– Christmas in general, really– but he obliges her request and turns the dial to their local channel, soft bells and a choir of voices begin to flood through the interior of the car. She really is so harmlessly manipulative with her saucer eyes and round button nose, he can’t seem to refuse her anything.

Steve drives more cautiously than he thinks he ever has, even more so than when he was sixteen and learning how to drive with his family’s Pontiac as his father stared harshly at him from the passenger seat. He comes to a full halt at every stop sign, and he never takes his eyes off the road.

After fighting some early rush hour traffic, they make it. Without a second thought, Abbey grasps Steve’s hand while walking through the parking lot. He tries not to look startled at the sudden contact, recalling how she always seems to have a firm grip on your hand in public spaces too. Steve’s just glad she feels comfortable with him.

“Can I help?” Abbey asks as Steve grabs a cart from the corral.

“Course’,” he smiles, “do you wanna grab the ingredients and put them in the cart for me?”

She bounces excitedly, “Sure!”

Wandering through the aisles, Abbey never strayed from Steve’s side. Every time he read off an item, she would dutifully fetch it and throw it into the cart with a little more force than necessary, but Steve didn’t mind.

“Do you live by yourself?” She asks out of the blue as they peruse the store.

“I do,”

“Then how come you know how to cook?”

He laughs at her inquisitive nature, “Well I have to eat don’t I?”

“Yeah…” she ponders, “I guess so,”

“Alright, the last thing we need is breadcrumbs,” he informs her, scanning the shelves.

Like earlier, Abbey attempts to stand on her tiptoes to try and reach the can in question, “I’m getting it,” she mumbles in determination, very much not getting it.

“Here,” Steve says as he lifts her up by her waist like it was second nature to him.

“Got it!” She exclaims, tossing it in with the rest of the groceries. “Can I ride in the cart now?” She yawns with a polite hand over her mouth. He supposes grocery shopping takes a lot out of you when all the shelves are at least five feet taller than your head.

“Sure,” Steve chuckles as he slots her little legs through the designated holes.

Despite the ride home only being about ten minutes long, Abbey manages to doze off– lulled to sleep by the subtle hum of the car's engine. Steve veered as gently as possible into the driveway, careful not to disturb her even though he was about to wake her up anyway.

“Abbey,” he shakes her softly, “we’re home,”

Abbey rouses, but only slightly. She yawns again and stretches with her arms over her head before extending them out, silently motioning with her eyes still closed for Steve to carry her inside.

“Okay, c’mon lazy bones,” he grunts at the angle but lifts her from her car seat nonetheless. After unlocking the door one-handed, he sets her carefully on the couch and covers her with a plush throw blanket before heading back outside for the rest of the groceries.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The first thing you notice when you approach your front door is the savory smell of something cooking. Inside, the TV is off and your daughter is sleeping soundly on the couch. Quiet clattering noises flood from the kitchen.

The sleeves of Steve’s burgundy sweater are rolled up to his elbows and the kitchen smells of roasting chicken and mahogany as he stirs a simmering pot of homemade pasta sauce. He’s humming some tune softly under his breath– Bob Segar, you think.

“Hey,” you greet with a grin as you set your bag down on the dining table. Steve turns around to meet you as you ask, “What’re you doing?”

“Cooking?” He replies.

“No, really?” You deadpan back, eliciting an amused chuckle from the man standing at your stove.

“Abbey was asking about dinner,” he pauses, “we were gonna do this whole thing– we were gonna make it for you together, have it ready by the time you got home, but,” he gestures with his arm to the living room where Abbey is napping. Steve Harrington is nothing if not expressive– talking with his hands, eyebrows always either furrowed in concentration or raised in amusement. It’s one of the most charming things about him, you think.

“Well, thank you,” you say, “you didn’t have to do that,” you feel a blush heat your cheeks at how domestic this feels– like you come home to Steve cooking dinner for you and your daughter every night. You can picture it as easily as if it were your actual reality and it leaves you feeling briefly vertiginous. You’re not sure Jeremy ever cooked even one meal for you in the entirety of your relationship.

“The chickens almost done and then I'll get out of your hair,” he assumes a teasing lilt to his voice to disguise the fact that he feels like he’s overstepping– overstaying his welcome or crossing some invisible line.

“Are you kidding?” You scoff, “You’ve gotta at least stick around long enough to see how it came out,”

“You don’t mind?” He asks hesitantly.

“Steve, of course I don’t mind,” honestly, you think you’d start a fire and burn your house to the ground if it meant getting him to stay just a little longer to help you put it out, “plus, I’m sure Abbey’ll be stoked.”

“Alright, well,” he smiles warmly, “it’s ready if you wanna go wake the gremlin up,”

At the table, Abbey insists on sitting next to Steve in the chair across from you.

“This is delicious, Steve,” you compliment.

“Best you ever had?” He teases, but his phrasing makes you choke a little on your pasta.

Abbey makes a twisted face, “The sauce tastes funny.” Saved by the bell.

“Abbey!” you scold playfully, poorly concealing a laugh behind the back of your hand, “Sorry– I think she’s just used to eating Prego,”

“That’s okay– I think she’s right, actually,” he assures you, twisting his expression into something sour and causing Abbey to giggle. His eyes are the color of rich soil as he sends you an oh, so familiar look across the table, communicating another silent thought to you. One that says, I don’t mind how blunt she is, I think it’s endearing.

When dinner is finished, Steve insists on doing the dishes for you too. “You cooked, Steve, let me–” you try to barter.

“--You do enough as it is,” he counters simultaneously.

“You watched my child all day!” You laugh at his stubbornness.

“I do that everyday anyway!” He argues, beginning to fill up the porcelain farmhouse sink with hot, sudsy water.

“At least let me help,” you give him that wide eyed look you always seem to be giving him lately. God, you’re no better than Abbey. “You wash, I’ll dry?”

“Fine,” he tries to frown but his smirk betrays him in his act of faux annoyance.

After a few minutes of stuffy silence, you ask, “She wasn’t too much of a pain in the ass today, was she?”

“Not any more than usual,” he jokes and a plate slips through his fingers, causing a small splash of water to coat your face in dishwater. You gasp at the sensation.

“Oh– Sorry!--” he tries to apologize, but you take your dishwater soaked fingers and flick them in the direction of his own face– small soapy bubbles clinging to his lashes and eyebrows.

“I cannot believe you right now,” he says, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

“There, now we’re even,” you smirk.

“I’ll let it slide. This time.”

“Mommy!” Abbey rushes into the kitchen, “Can Mr. H stay to watch a cartoon before bed?”

“I don’t know, baby, it’s getting late,” you can just barely see the flash of heartbreak in her gaze before Steve interjects, “It’s okay, I don’t mind staying for a little longer,”

You send him a skeptical glance over your shoulder, but he just nods and asks Abbey what she’d like to watch.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The end credits for an episode of The Rugrats flashes across the screen, illuminating Abbey’s sleeping face in muted shades of blue and orange. She snores, slumped against Steve’s chest with her arms wrapped around his torso. You sit propped against the other arm of the couch watching them intently– trying to memorize the sight before you. You’ve never seen Abbey cradled like this before by anyone else except you. It wasn’t something you felt you craved until recently.

Steve turns, catching you staring but not calling attention to it. He can count on several hands the amount of times he’s done the same to you– Steve Harrington is many things, but he is not a hypocrite.

“Did you know the guy from Devo wrote the theme song for this?” He gestures towards the television.

“Really?”

“Mhm,” he replies, “I can’t remember who told me that,”

After a few beats of hushed silence, you say, “Should probably put that one to bed– unless you wanna be here all night,” you try to joke but your voice shakes.

He would if you were sincerely asking. He’d stay right here on this uncomfortably worn sofa, with your daughter whom he has such an affinity for, sleeping against his chest for the next millenia. He’d fossilize here if he could– your presence beside him calm and grounding like an anchor in a storm.

He voices none of this. Instead he says, “Do you want to take her?”

“It’s okay,” you wave him off, “I’ll just come with you.” The three of you slowly make your way to Abbey’s bedroom, Steve carrying her bridal style against his torso and the door creaks on its hinges when Steve pushes it open with his hip. She stirs only a little when he sets her down, but is soothed quickly with a firm palm stroking her back a few times.

The door clicks behind you as Steve leads you both back to the living room.

“I should probably–”

“Do you want–”

You begin to speak at the same time, awkward chuckles leaving both of your nervous lips.

“You first,” he offers, scratching the back of his neck.

“I was– just gonna ask if you wanted some wine, but I know it’s late–”

“Wine sounds great.” His lips form a line across his face as he grins.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Half a bottle of wine split between the two of you, and your hands were tingling from the effort it was taking not to reach out and card your fingers through the hair of the man sitting across from you.

“How come you never called?” He asks suddenly, but not unkindly.

“Hm?”

“You never called– well, not til’ this morning at least,”

“Didn’t know what counted as an emergency, I guess,” you shrug, the alcohol shaking your nerves loose.

He must’ve been feeling in a similar way to you– speaking freely in a way he wouldn’t have before, “Just wanted to talk to you,” he smiles fondly.

“Oh,” you whisper, and when you don’t say anything else, Steve changes the subject.

“I like that photo of you on top of the entertainment center,” he says contemplatively, “you looked really…peaceful,”

“Well, raising a miniature version of yourself tends to age you a bit, I suppose,”

“Can I ask you something?” He asks, testing the waters.

“Always”

“Where was Jeremy in the picture?”

“We always talk about me,” you roll your eyes spiritedly and release a contented sigh, “Tell me why you really came to Maine,”

“Don’t deflect,” he teases.

“C’monnnn,” you draw out the last syllable, “answer,”

“I asked you first,” Steve chuckles.

“Jeremy wasn’t at Abbey’s birth,” you admit, it's immediately like an aching weight removed from the length of your spine– one that's been there consistently for years. “He didn’t even want me to have her,” you scoff humorlessly.

You had told almost no one this before. For the sake of keeping appearances, even after he passed, only your mother and sister knew that Jeremy had pushed for you to terminate your pregnancy when he’d found out; and that only once your daughter was actually born did he want to be involved in her life. The burden felt shockingly easy to lay at Steve’s feet, like someone might confess to a priest. This tender man sitting across from you– whether it was the wine or simply his presence, you aren’t sure– but it felt so effortless to be vulnerable right now. Your soft, white underbelly on display for him to do as he pleases, trusting him to have a gentle touch.

“That fucking sucks,” he knows you well enough by now to understand you’ve never cared for empty platitudes, so he doesn’t bother schooling his bitter, empathetic expression, “M’ sorry,”

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, you say, “Your turn,”

“My old man was an abusive, drunk asshole,” he says frankly, “I don’t know if I ever saw him sober,” he huffs a laugh but there’s no humor behind it. “I needed to get out– to see what else there was, you know?” He asks, and you nod, “He died in my sophomore year of college. Didn’t even go to the wake.”

“Well, I’m really glad you ended up in this shithole,” he laughs at that, “I think you’re pretty neat, Harrington,”

“Thanks,” he deadpans, “Juries still out on you,” he pokes your side and you giggle like you’re a damn teenager again.

You swat him lightly on his bicep in retaliation, and before you know it, you’ve both succumbed to a fit of contagious laughter. When it begins to die down, you’re closer to him than you’d been before. It steals the breath from your lungs and your heart thrashes inside your ribcage like a wild animal.

You’re gazing at each other now, heads light from the alcohol and dizzy with proximity. His heavy lidded gaze lands on your lips for a second too long, and then he’s pulling your face flush to his own by the sharp edge of your jaw.

It’s a soft kiss, but it’s maddening nonetheless. His lips are plush and smooth– malleable against yours. You huff a surprised breath of air, but don’t pull away. One of his calloused hands is resting firmly on your waist while the other one snakes up tenderly to hold the back of your head. You feel that familiar itch to bury your fingers in his brown tresses, so finally, you do. What realistically only lasts a moment, feels like hours before he’s pulling away, nearly frightened.

When he looks at you, his doe eyes are wide with fear, glassy with the impending fallout of what he’d just done. He stammers, “I’m sorry–that was–” he runs his hands down the length of his guilt twisted face.

“No– Steve, It’s okay, I–”

“I should go–” he says quickly as he slips his shoes and coat on, not even bothering to tie the laces, he grabs his keys, “I’m sorry I’ll– I’ll see you on Monday,”

He’s closing the door behind him before your mind gets the chance to catch up with your mouth. You wished to tell him that it was okay, that you liked it– that you wanted him to stay and never leave again.

But it’s too late. You’re left alone in the stifling air of your living room, half a bottle of wine on the coffee table and your heart on the floor.

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[onlyjaeyun]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟏

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟕𝐤

↬ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐃𝐃/𝐋𝐆 (𝐝𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐲 𝐝𝟎𝐦/𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥) 𝐝𝐲𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐞, 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 (𝐟.𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠), 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠

The buzzing of your phone on the nightstand wakes you up from your dreamless sleep and just as you're about to move around to turn your alarm off, you're reminded of the strong arm around your waist as it pulls you further into the warm chest pressed into your back.

It's only then that you remember how and who you fell asleep next to, a cheeky smile creeping up on your face as soon as the realisation hits you.

Jongseong is still in bed with you. On a weekday.

To your surprise, he's not only still in bed with you but seems to be peacefully asleep, something you're not quite used to when it comes to your hardworking boyfriend.

In the back of your mind you had hoped that he'd stay, especially after a night like yesterday's, yet for some reason you didn't allow yourself to indulge in those hopes, as you were too scared of them being empty yet again.

It doesn't take much longer for more images of the previoos nught to sneak into your head, but for the first time in your life you know you won't let them win no matter what.

You haven't fell asleep and woken up next to your boyfriend in weeks, there's no way you're going to let your anxiety and destructive brain take this away from you again.

There's so much to unpack about the whole situation about your brothers and the bodyguards, you know Jongseong will want to talk about, but you simply don't have the mental energy to waste on those men anymore. You've been fightem then alongside your mental demons for the past two decades and dor the first time in your life you just want to live a single day without thinking about them for once.

Of course this won't make them any less dangerous or threatening, but it will give you the temporary inner peace you need and mostly deserve.

So, determined to not waste any more of your energy on those stupid bastards, you let out a soft sigh and turn around in Jongseong's arms to bury your face in the crook of his warm neck, inhaling his sweet scent the way you did to fall asleep and enjoying every single second of this rare occasion.

Unfortunately you're very much aware of the fact that your second alarm is going to go off any second now as the both of you have to get ready for work.

"Jongie", you whisper against his soft skin and pull your head back to have a good look ag him, hating yourself and the universe for having to wake him up.

He hasn't slept longer than four hours ever since your trip to Jeju and you can't wait to basically kidnap him to a different city and just make sure that man finally gets the sleep him and his body need.

"Wake up, my love", you sigh and place a soft kiss on his chin, "we have to get ready for work."

The sweet sound of your voice gently pulls him into consciousness, something he has yet to get used to, especially after unintentionally depriving himself of it for so long. As your words slowly push their way through the sleepy fog in his head, Jongseong suddenly deicdes to adapt to a completely new routine just to wake up like this until his last day on this earth.

"We're both calling in sick", he suddenly grunts, his voixe deeper and raspier than usual, the sound so unfamiliar, it leaves you lightheaded and shoots a jolt of hot arousal right in between your legs.

"We can't just do that, pretty face", you say with a soft chuckle, hoping for the aching in your lower body to just disappear if you try to overplay it hard enough, "we have meetings and appointments with important clients today."

"Why not? I'm the CEO and owner of the company, they should be grateful I even considered giving them some of my precious time. They can wait a day or two."

Jay's words surprise you as much as they turn you on and you hate your body for betraying you like this. Today is probably just an exception yet you can't help but feel your hopes rising all the way to the sky.

You try to think of something to respond, but you're too mesmerized by the sight of a sleepy Park Jongseong. The way his hair is messily falling into his slightly flushed face, eyes hooded as they're getting used to the sunlight exposure, his pretty lips pushed into a cute little pout and his big hand gently caressing your back.

The longer you look at him, the more you fall in love with him and for a moment you forget whag the two of you were even talking about.

"Don't look at me like that, Baby or I'll make them wait a week or two", Jay teases softly, his hand now moving to your thigh as the other one remains underneath your waist, busy drawing random circles into your skin through the thin fabric of your camisole.

"Oh", you blurt when you realise how obviously you've been staring at him as embarrassment quickly takes over your body, "I'm sorry, Jongie, I didn't mean to. You just look really pretty when you wake up."

"My sweet little angel baby", Jay begins and pushes the bem of your camisole all the way up to your hips, exposing your bare thigh to his greedy touch so easily, "don't ever be sorry for eyefucking me with those pretty eyes. I fucking love seeing you so needy for me."

You're visible surprised at his response, forgetting that your boyfriend has always read your facial expressions as well as your bidy language quite easily and for some reason you can't help but feel even more embarrassed.

"What's going through that sweet head of yours, Baby? Why are you so hesitant?"

You nervously pull your bottom lip in between your teeth as a wave of shame overwhelms you, yet you can't really put a name on the reason behind it.

The past few weeks you've always been the one to initiate intimacy and after losing yourself in quite a few anxious thoughts the previous night, you can't help but let them win yet again.

You know Jongseong's been quite busy, nobody knows it as good as you do. However him not initiating anything these past few weeks has definitely made you feel anlot more insecure than you would like to admit, simply because it feels like he only does it for you and not because he actually wants it.

"I'm sorry for always being so needy", you whisper and bury your face in his neck, "I don't mean to push you so much."

Jongseong is flabbergasted, to say the least.

He's never expected this to be the reason for your change in demeaner and as the realisation hits him, he can't help but let okt a lighthearted chuckle.

"Oh, Baby", he sighs and reaches for your cheek to pull your face away from his neck and meet your glossy gaze, "do you really feel guilty for wanting me so often?"

"Yes", you don't hesitate with your response, too lost in the way he's looking at you with such sweetness and adoration, "you usually don't iniate intimacy and it made me realise that maybe you don't actually want me as often as I want you."

Yet again, Jongseong feels overwhelmed by your statement. Never in a million years could he have expected your thoughts to be as mean as this and as his eyes roam your soft face, his heart aches in his chest.

"And that's okay. I know I can be insatiable sometimes. I hope you know that doesn't mean I only want you for your body. You're so much more to me than sex, I just have a very high libido." Your voice is small and uncertain, filled with insecurity and self doubt, a sound so heartbreaking, Jongseong feels his chest tightening in despair.

"Come here, Baby", is the first thing your sleepy boyfriend replies before he pushes the blanket away from your bodies and guides you to straddle his lap.

You physically can't stop a tiny little gasp to leave your lips as you come in sudden contact with the hard bunge in Jong's boxer briefs, something you haven't felt this way in a lot longer than you thought.

It's not like the two of you hadn't fucked each other in the past few weeks, unfortunately there was never much time for any foreplay and it usually ended in a quickie which stilled your hunger for a few hours. Most of the time Jongseong made sure to have you fall apart on his fingers first followed by him doing just the right things with his cock to drive you into insanity. He also tried his best to give you just enough aftercare to help you regain your composure but you couldn't help but crave more. The lack of actual sensitivity in those moments was probably what resulted in your insatiable hunger for him and his touch.

Without missing a beat, you press your hands flat against his inked chest, caressing the soft skin and circling your hips without even realising it.

"My soft little angel girl", Jongseong sighs and starts kneading the soft flesh of your thighs in his hands, "I'm sorry for not talking to you about this more. Your silly little brain probably gave you such a hard time about this, didn't it?"

"Yes, Jongie", you sigh and look at him with needy, glossy eyes, a sight so pure, so beautiful, the young man has yet to get used to it's effects on his body.

"And is that the reason why you've been more hesitant about indulging in the whole Daddy thing lately, Baby?", he calmly responds as his eyes never once shift away from your face and where you feel like a kid being caught doing something they're not supposed to do, your boyfriend seems more than just amused by your responsive body language.

"I guess it is. But I promise I didn't do it intentionally."

"You're so fucking cute", is his instinctive response to your answer and with a soft sigh, you push your lips into a pout and let your hands find his on your thighs, absentmindedly playing with his pretty fingers to distract yourself from the feeling of embarrassment filling your veins.

"My Baby", Jay then begins, his voice slightly deeper as he notices the feeling of your wetness making its way through the thin fabric of your panties, "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend lately and I promise you to make up for every sinfle doubt and bad thought I've caused you."

You're about to interrupt his little apology and reassure him, but Jongseong doesn't let you. He's determined to say what he's been dying to for the past fourtyeight hours and no matter how badly you want him to believe that his behavior is somehow justified and okay, he knows it's not and that's why he won't allow you to intervene. Not this time.

Before your brain can even process it, you find yourself on your back, your boyfriend casually moving to lay in between your legs. Jay's face is as close to yours as physically possible and his nose gently nudges yours before he places the most delicate kiss on your parted lips.

"I haven't paid much attention to you and didn't make any efforts to actively include you into my daily routine outside of work and that wasn't okay. Yet, I hope you know that from now on that's going to change", with every single one of his words, Jay pushes you deeper into the mattress until you can practically feel his heart beating against your chest.

"No more early mornings to work out and as little long days as possible. It took me a bit but I finally realised that I am the boss and I do have the privilege to cancel and postpone appointments to make time for my girl. It won't always be like that and at times I'll be at work more than I'd like to be but at the end of the day I'm always going to try my best to come home to fall asleep with you. Not after you."

Jongseong doesn't give you enough time to actually process his sweet words as he pulls you into a hungry kiss and allows you to lose youdself in the sweet feeling of comfort and warmth it comes with.

Just as usual, Jay's kisses are slow and sensual. At first. But the harder he starts grinding his hard cock against your clothed cunt, the sloppier and needier they become. It doesn't take much time for your usually so composed boyfriend to grunt and moan into your mouth, loving the way you swallow every single one of his noises.

"And please don't ever be sorry for wanting me so often. Touching you, being intimate with you, being the one to pleasure you – and everything it comes with, is a privilege to me. Knowing you want me so much is what keeps me sane, Baby", Jay looks at you with soft eyes and just as usual, the expression in his gaze matches his words perfectly. It's like he makes sure you can physically see how honest he's being with you.

"I need it, angel girl", he suddenly grunts and buries his face in your neck, "Daddy needs you to need him, Baby. It's everything I've been daydreaming about for all my life. To be needed, wanted and loved by my person. By you. Please, don't take this away from me."

You're hearing his little pleas and his sweet, needy request, yet you're brain is already too fogged up by all the arousal rushing through your body as the tip of his clothed cock hits your sensitive clit with every single one of his precise thrusts.

"Louder, Baby", Jay suddenly commands, the urge to hear your moans and whimpers overwhelming him after the both of you had to keep quiet the last few times you've gotten intimate.

"Please, Daddy", your response comes quicker and more desperate than you expected it to, but you're simply too far gone already to care.

"What do you want, angel girl? Use those big girl words for Daddy, I know you can do it."

You start nodding like your life depends on it, your hands find home in his thick hair as Jongseong slowly kisses his way down your neck and to your cleavage, sucking the skin into his mouth every now and then right before his hands grab the hem of your camisole and pull it over your head in one swift motion.

"There she is, my perfect little angel", Jongseong sighs and comes to sit up on his knees right between your legs.

"Please, Daddy", you whimper yet again, reaching for his hands to get him to just somehow touch your needy cunt again.

You subconsciously wait dor him to scold you for not doing as you're told, however you definitely don't expect him to land a harsh spank on your clothed cunt. The stinging pain sends you into the sweetest haze of pleasure and with your head thrown back into the pillow, you struggle to build a single rational thought.

"Good girls use their words when they want something", Jay says sternly, his eyes hooded yet filled with such intense hunger, you feel your juices drip out of your clenching hole the longer you look at him.

"I need you to", you're still hesitant but quickly realise that there's no way Jong's going to give into your little insecurities now, so without wasting any more time, you blurt out the rest of your request.

"Eat my pussy", you dig your nails into his wrist as the pain of his tight grip on your inner thigh has your head spinning like crazy, "please, Daddy. I need you to eat my pussy, wanna cum all over your face."

"There you go, that's my good girl. Was that so hard, Baby?"

Jay can't help but feel amused by the sweet look of embarasin your eyes as you look at him, lips parted, hair messy, legs spread wide enough to put your drenched panties on full display for his hungry gaze.

"Don't tease me", you spit and roll your eyes in faux annoyance, followed by desperately trying to hide just how flustered you are because of the breathtakingly beautiful smirk grazing his plumps lips.

"Now, that was a mistake, pretty girl", Jay chuckles and lets his fingers graze your inner thigh right before he lands another hard spank on your sensitive pussy.

"You know I'll just tease you even more if you tell me not to."

"Daddy, please touch me. No more spanks. Need you to touch me."

For a moment you're genuinely surprised by your lack of hesitance but then again it makes sense as all your senses are captivated by Park Jongseong's sweet scent, his touche and his taste lingering on your tongue like a drug.

Jongseong doesn't say a single word until bends down to push his cheek against your inner thigh, dangerously glose to where you need him the most.

The fact you're still very much wearing your now ruined panties is definitely not helping with your impatience.

"Beg a little more, pretty girl", Jay teases and pulls the soaked fabric to the side only to blow cold air against your sensitive flesh.

"F-Fuck", you're quick to arch your back in hopes of getting him to finally do what you've asked for multiple times by now, only for Jay to pull away with another row of soft chuckles.

"Aww, look at my Baby. You're so needy, angel girl. Apparently too needy to use your manners for Daddy, hm?"

"Please", you beg softly, tears of frustration pricking at the corners of your eyes and you tighten your grip on his thick hair, "please, Daddy. I've been waiting so long for this. Don't I deserve this?"

And that little rhetorical question is what has Jongseong halt his movements like he's jusg seen a ghost.

"Of course, princess", your boyfriend whispers with tiny bits of guilt gleaming in his sweet eyes, "of course you deserve this."

If your brain wasn't as clouded by the arousal, you would have had enough time to feel bad about using such strategies to get what you want but after barely remembering what his mouth feels like on you, you can't help but feel grateful it worked. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Before either one of you can get out another word, Jongseong finally licks a long strip over the length of your soaked cunt followed by shameleslly sucking your sensitive kiss into his mouth and teasing it with the tip of his tongue.

The suddenness of his actions knock every last breath out of your lungs and with a loud gasp you push your hips further into his face, back arched and head thrown back with the loudest moan of his name.

It doesn't take much for Jongseong to completely lose himself in the sweet taste of your juices as he laps up every single drop, filling the room with loud sucking and slurping noises as well as his muffled moans the second he pushes his tongue into your tight hole.

You can tell how hard he's trying to maintain his composure but every time your gaze meets his, you realisd how far gone he already is. Eyes hooded, cheeks flushed, half of his face coated in your wetness as he digs his bails knto your soft thighs to keep your legs firmly spread for his hungry mouthy.

With every skill flick of his tongue against your hardened clit, you feel yourself inching closer and closer to the edge, the taste of your sweet relief coating the entirety of your mouth and consuming your senses in the best way possible.

Not a single coherent sentence falls past your lips as the tension in your lower stomach increases and you feel yourself getting closer and closer.

"Do it, princess", Jay suddenly grunts and lifts his hand up to land a row of hard slaps against your overly sensitive pussy, the stinging pain sending your brain into overdrive and your eyes into the back of your head.

"I can feel it, you're so close. Come on, cum for Daddy, Baby. Make me proud. Claim me as yours. Cum all over my fucking face like rhe perfect princess you are."

And maybe it's the way his deep voice so close to your cunt sends vibration through your body or maybe it's the way his thumb has made it its mission to rub firm circles into your sensitive clit or maybe, just maybe it's the way he's tamking to you, but regardless of the reason, the coil kn your lower stomach still snaps as soon as your brain has processed his words.

Your high washes over you in several waves, pussy clenching down around nothing as Jay has long taken his fingers out of your tight hold to watch your juices drip out of you as you cum for him. It takes you a moment to realise that your sight has blurred and you feel your ears ringing from the intensity of your orgasm, something you've only ever experienced with Park Jongseong before and have yet to get used to.

You have absolutely no idea how much time goes by until your breathing finally goes back to normal and when your eyes meet the sighg of your boyfriend's habdsome face still firmly buried in your pussy, you nnow exactly why it took you as long as it did.

"Up here, Daddy", you pout and push your hand into his hair to grab a fistful of the thick strands and make him look at you, "can you fuck me now, please? I need to feel you fill me up with your cum so bad."

Jay smiles lazily, still quite drunk on the taste of your cum on his tongue as he's missed it a lot more than he expected. He hasn't had time to eat you out for who knows how long and it's when you look at him with big eyes and parted lips thag he decides to make it part of his new daily routine.

Not a day shall pass by where he doesn't eat rhe sweetest pussy he's ever had or he'll be dammed.

"Sorry, Baby", he sighs and absentmindedly pulls his boxer briefs down his thick thighs, revealing his painfully hard cock to your hungry eyes, "missed eating that pussy to much so i got a little dizzy. Don't think I'll last as long as usual so I might need some help."

You nervously start nibbling on your bottom lip as you wait for him to continue, the excitement bubbling and boiling in your loser tummy as your cunt clenches in response to the throbbing of his cock in his hand.

"Be a good girl for Daddy and rub that pretty clit for me, hm? Wanna cum with you this time but I'm so sensitive already. It's been so long since I've had you like this, Baby."

"Yes, Daddy, anything for you."

Your sweet words of affirmation elicit the sweetest moan from your boyfriend's throat and you attentively watch the way his hips halt their movements for a moment in response to you.

To your luck, Jay seems a lot more impatient than he claimed as he's quick to rub the tip of his sensitive cock against the wet flesh of your cunt, coating his whole length in your juices right before he lines himself up with your entrance.

"Look at Daddy, pretty girl", Jong grunts and pushes his tip inside of your tight hole just enough to reach for your free hand and intertwine your fingers with his, while his other one finds his way around your delicate throat.

"I love you", are the first tjing to leave his plump lips the second he pushes ghe first two inches of his thick cock into the tightness of your pussy, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as soon as you start clenching around him.

"Relax, angel girl. We still have a few more inches to. Daddy needs you to relax so it doesn't hurt, yeah? Be good for me, Baby."

You start nodding impatiently, almost instinctively rubbing firm circlers into your sensitive bundle of nerves the way your biyfriend did it just a few minutes ago, knowing exactly how you like it and how to get yourself to the edge as fast as possible again.

Your body slowly gets rid of the last bit of tension when Jongseong bends down to press his lips against your, not caring about how soft or sweet the kiss is, but rather focusing on the taste of your spit coating the muscle of his tongue.

By the time he finally bottoms out, you can feel your breath hitching in your throat, the feeling of being filled to the absolute brim overwhelming you just as usual.

"So fucking tight", Jay whimpers into your ear, not awake or sober enough to care about the way he sounds, "you're going to make me cum so hard, Baby. Fuck, I won't last l-long, I'm sorry."

"No, Daddy, don't be", you're quick to reassure your boyfriend, pulling on his hair and öoving your hips to meet his little thrusts, appreciative of the way he's still giving you time to adjust to his impressive size, "am close already, too. Wanna cum with you, please."

"Yeah, Baby? Gonna make a mess of Daddy's cock and cum all over me like the good girl you are, right? Go ahead then, angel girl", Jongseong's voice grows raspier, deeper and more hoarse as the pleasure and meed for relief overwhelms his whole body in the best way possible, "cum for me. Claim your man. Show me what only you get to do with my cock."

It's those exact words which push you over the edge headfirst the second time wighin just a few minutes. Jay always knows exactly what to say, he knows how possessive you are and how much yoj love claiming him. Hearing him confirm your thoughts and wants so casually never fails to leave yoj completely breathless.

And as your tight cunt starts spasmkng around his iverly sensitive cock, Jongseong quickly buries his face in your negk with a loud moan of your name right as he cums in three thick spurts and coats the soft walls of your cunt in several shades of white.

Nothing but your joined heavy breathing and the thrumming of your heartbeat in your throat fills your ears for a good five minutes, Jong's cock occasionally twitching inside of you before the sensitivity becomes too much for the both of you and he decides to pull out with a soft pout on his plump lips.

You allow yourself to devour the sight of his flushed skin, from his cheeks all the way down to his lean chest covered in the prettiest shade of pink, his messy hair falling into his face and reminding you both of his need of a haircut.

"Shower or some more sleep?" Jay mumbles softly againsg dour lips and pushes the few strands of hair away from your pretty face to get a better look at you.

"We have to go to work, Daddy", you reply instead and earn youeself another roll of his eyes.

"Your boss doesn't feel very well so he wants you to cancel all of his appointments for today. He said he needs to have some one on one time with his beautiful girlfriend or he'll actually die in agonising pain."

His exaggeration has you both burst into a fit of laughter and without even thinking of protesting any further, you just pull him into your chest and enjoy the feeling of his breathing against your neck as you both allow yourself to take a whole day off of your regular routine.

Being girlfriend and boyfriend for a whole day and nothing but that.

Just this once.

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: and here we are 🤪 i know you guys probably expected smth else after the prev chap was sp emptional but i missed writing smut for them so ive been thinking about it all day and wanted to give this to you guys as 1) a little thank you for all the love ln strictly business and 2) as a was to apologize for all the heart reak in future chapters!🤕 thank you so much for everything babies, i love you so much. feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!!!!💞🧸)

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[mysecretlittlelibrary]

Every Inch of You

Pairing: Luke Alvez x Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: reader is fighting demons (insecurities), very specific descrpitions of body image related insecurities- like the reader is literally picking herself apart in a mirror, hella praise, body worship, fingering, edging, multiple orgasms, creampie, cockwarming, pseudo voyeurism/exhibitionism (he fucks her in front of a mirror idk) I think that's everything

Genre: starts off pretty angsty, we transition to smut and end with fluff!

Summary: Insecurities can be quite rough on you but your boyfriend has no intentions of letting you go through it alone

***

You frown at your reflection as you stare at yourself in the mirror. Today has been a rough day. Nothing in particular happened. You went to work, you ran some errands, you did normal daily things, but for some reason you've been in such a weird mood and now you're stuck in a vortex, picking apart yourself apart in the fucking mirror. You really ought to go to the gym more often, or- stop snacking at night, have your pores always been so noticeable? Since when do you have so many stretch marks? You can't see your toes over your stomach- god that's embarrassing. You let out a long sigh as you bite back the tears stinging the back of your eyes. You hate this. It doesn't usually get this bad and the worst part is you know it's not real, you know you're not some hideous monster but it doesn't stop that nasty voice in your head from warping your perception some days and when that happens nothing you say to yourself changes it. But man does it suck, because most of the time you have all the confidence in the world, you've worked very hard on it. Days like this make it feel like you're still some lost little kid desperate to find your place in the world with no sense of self. You should just walk away. If you can't see yourself, you can't pick your appearance apart. But your feet feel glued to the floor, as if they can't remember how to move, as if it's the most impossible task you've ever been given.

"Alright that's enough. You'll lose your mind standing here." You tell yourself, shaking your head in hopes of getting out of this dreary mood. You finally step away from the mirror and head to your closet to put on some clothes post shower. You throw on a hoodie and some shorts and leave your room.

"Babe?!" You hear as you walk down the hall. Sounds like your boyfriend's back.

"Hey love, welcome home." You meet him by the door and he kisses you on the cheek.

"Hope you haven't made dinner yet beautiful because I brought take out." Luke tells you holding up the bag with an excited grin.

"Take out's good. You wanna shower first or dive straight in?" You ask him.

"Would you mind terribly if I showered first?"

"Not at all. Go ahead." You take the food from him and nod your head towards the bathroom.

"I'll be quick!" He kisses you once more and jogs down the hall. You set the food on the living room table and watch TV while waiting for Luke. You hope you're able to keep it together for the few hours you'll be spending with Luke before bed. Considering its a weekday, you don't have to keep the mask up for that long. True to his word, Luke is quick to return, maybe 15 minutes pass by the time he plops down next to you on the couch. "Alright! Let's eat!" He announces, opening the takeout bag. He hands you your food before digging into his own.

"How was work today?" You ask him.

"Fine, tedious. Was mostly doing paperwork today." He shrugs. "How was your day cupcake?"

"Work was work and then I ran some errands. No fun stories here unfortunately. How's everyone?"

"Well, Spencer was giving a guest lecture today so he wasn't around since we didn't have an actual case. Garcia was telling me about some woman that seems to have his attention at the uni though."

"Is Pen keeping tabs on Spencer at the college? He'll literally hate that when he finds out." You frown.

"That's what I told her but you know how she can be. Especially with how sometimes things- go wrong when we meet new people."

"I mean if she's just a coworker, Penelope's getting ahead of herself don't you think? He probably hasn't even made a move on her." You say.

"He hasn't. You're right but it's not like she can be stopped." Luke chuckles.

"Yeah I guess so." You hum.

"Alright, what's wrong, princess?" Luke frowns.

"What do you mean?"

"You've barely touched your food. Did you think I wasn't gonna notice you've only been picking at it? Do you not like it? Do you want to eat something else?"

"No it, it's fine, I just- I'm honestly not all that hungry I guess." You sigh.

"What do you mean you're not all that hungry? What've you eaten today?"

"A bagel for breakfast and a salad for lunch." You shrug. Luke checks the clock in your living room.

"Lunch was 8 hours ago, all you had was a bowl of rabbit food and you expect me to accept that you don't want to eat your favorite food? Come on, spill it baby what's going on with you?"

"Nothing's going on. I dunno I just- feel weird." You mutter, avoiding his gaze. Dating a profiler is so irritating sometimes, can't he just ignore your body language for once?

"Weird how?"

"We don't, have to do this. It's not a big deal babe." You mumble.

"You're not eating y/n it is absolutely a big deal."

"Luke-" you sigh.

"Don't 'Luke' me, what's going on?" He frowns.

"I'd really rather not discuss anything there's no need, seriously."

"Baby, don't shut me out. You can't shut me out. We're in this together, always. You've gotta tell me what's going on in your head." He caresses your cheek gently. You sigh, unable to justify holding out on him when he speaks so softly, with such care.

"I've just been having a bad mental day. Nothing's happened, but I, just feel uncomfortable in my body, and it's hard to deal with let alone talk about." You say, tears burning behind your eyes again.

"Baby," he says, concern contorting his features.

"It's fine, I'll get over it. Today's just been a rough one. It happens. Sometimes my insecurities flare up out of nowhere but that's life, I don't want you to worry." You shake your head.

"Do you know me at all princess?"

"What?"

"My baby, my darling, the love of my life, my reason for being, is stuck in her own head hating her body, the body I live to worship, the body I can't get enough of and you want me to simply 'not worry about it'? That ain't happening." He stands up.

"Luke." You grumble as he grabs your hands.

"No no no no, no complaining, up you go." He pulls you off the couch and lifts you into his arms.

"Ah! Luke what are you doing?" You ask, throwing your hands around his neck as he princess carries you down the hall.

"Well if that nasty little voice in your head wants to lie to you, I'll simply have to remind you myself of all the reasons ever inch of you is perfect." He says matter-of-factly.

"I do not like the sound of that." You tell him.

"And I don't like the sound of you feeling uncomfortable with yourself." Luke shrugs.

"Well that's not-" You stop yourself with a sigh, not even sure what your comeback would be. In your bedroom, Luke carefully lowers you to the ground in front of the mirror with your back facing him.

"I want to help you to see yourself the way that I do." He says softly. He kisses your neck lightly and gently lifts your gaze to meet his in the reflection. "Ask me how I see you." His fingers brush against your thighs as he speaks.

"How do you see me?" You whisper hesitantly. You're not sure you even want to know, but his lips against your throat and his hands on your skin are rather persuasive.

"You, mi amor, are the sun at the center of my universe, if ever I was asked to describe perfection I would simply describe you." Luke slides his hands up under your hoodie caressing your skin.

"Luke." Your brow furrows. This can't possibly be sexy for him, he's only touching your stomach to comfort you, he'd probably prefer it if-

"Relax baby." Luke whispers. You didn't even realize you'd sucked your stomach in against his touch unconsciously, as if you could hide from him your size. You slowly untense your muscles, cringing at the way you fill his large hands. "I'm going to take this off of you, is that alright baby?" He asks.

"Well," can you really handle looking at yourself again?

"You can say no if you want princess, but I need you to stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." You say.

"Physically maybe, but I can see your mind wandering off." He kisses your temple. "Don't go."

"You can take it off." You whisper. Luke tugs the hoodie over your head not a moment later, tossing it somewhere in the room, out of sight. He lets out a sigh as his eyes trail over your body through the reflection. You can still feel the heat of his gaze in the mirror and weirdly enough it feels undeserved. He looks at you like that all the time but, tonight you just can't understand what would make him look at you with such want.

"God, you're gorgeous." He sighs placing his hands on your hips again. Luke places kisses on your shoulder. "Your skin is so soft, I can never get enough of touching you, kissing you, holding you." He says. He slides his hands up your sides to cup your breasts. "So perfect, I love the weight of your tits in my hands." His thumbs stroke over your nipples and the light stimulation makes your breath catch in your throat. He twists and tugs at your nipples, enjoying the little whimpers you let out. "You make the prettiest noises when I touch you baby."

"Luke-" you whine, your head lolling against his shoulder.

"Uh uh, head up princess, you've gotta watch. Watch me touch you, worship you, and watch how your body reacts to me, see for yourself how captivating you look." Luke gently shrugs his shoulder to push your head forward. You force your eyes to focus back on your reflections in the mirror, the sight of his hands kneading your breasts with rough fingers toying with your nipples to create hardened peaks only serves to make you squirm more against him. He keeps at it until your breathing is heavy, then one hand slides down, pausing to rub your tummy, "You may not believe me but this, I love this. Growing up it meant you were eating well, taken care of. And I like to think I take good care of you. I want it to show." He says kissing your neck. "Plus it's excellent for cuddles." He winks with a smile that makes you giggle. "I like that sound even more than your little whimpers, but I'm about to get a lot more of those." Luke's hand continues down, pushing your shorts down enough for you to kick them off. His hand caresses your thigh.

"You're teasing." You pout.

"You look cute when you pout." He chuckles. "But I'll be nice." His voice drops as he slips two fingers between your folds. You arch you back against his touch as his digits toy with your cunt. Luke knows your body maybe better than you do and his hand makes quick work of bringing you to the edge. Your head tips back again, instinctively and his movements slow when he catches it. The sudden change drags your gaze to his in the mirror, a silent question in your eyes when you whine. "If you want to cum pretty girl you have to watch yourself do it."

"But-"

"No buts, keep your eyes open and on the mirror." He says stroking you faster now that your attention is back on your reflection. Again when you feel your orgasm creeping up your spine your head drifts back and again Luke slows his hand almost to a stop.

"No!" You cry out as your release slips away.

"I already told you princess, your eyes have to stay on your reflection." He says waiting for your breathing to calm slightly before his fingers work you again. This time, you manage to keep your head forward, but your eyes still slide closed from the pleasure. Unfortunately for you your boyfriend is very observant and closed eyes still break the rule, so his fingers slow again.

"Fffffffffffffuck me." You grit out, frustrated from his edging game.

"I'll keep doing this until you get it right mi amor. Keep your eyes open." He says beginning again. This time, you steel yourself. You don't think you can handle another denial. The signs of release return quickly with his hands on you and though your lids desperately want to close you keep them open even as they threaten roll back in bliss as you finally cum with a breathy moan. "That's it, so fucking stunning." Luke says as he strokes you through the aftershocks. Your legs are still shaking and your chest is still heaving when Luke lifts you again. "I'm not finished with you yet, but this next bit will be easier in the bathroom. So you have something to hold onto." He says carrying you into the bathroom. He sets you down facing the large mirror over the sink. "I'd do this in the bedroom but you won't be able to see yourself if I fuck you right up against the mirror." Luke says in your ear and the words send a shiver down your spine. "Place your hands on the mirror sweetheart. Let me show you how badly I crave every inch of you." He says with a hand stroking your ass. You lean forward enough for your warm hands to touch the cool glass. Your eyes follow Luke's in the mirror as they trail over your skin hungrily while he frees himself from his sweatpants. He wastes no time sinking into you with a groan and though he gave no warning you moan at the stretch of him filling you. The look on his face as he settles into your heat can only be described as euphoric and it's one you could never get tired of seeing on him. After a moment his eyes peel open again and catch yours in the reflection. He gives you a smirk before his hands tighten against your hips and he sets a rhythm that explains why you needed something to hold onto. His thrusts are harsh and deep and have moans spilling uncontrollably from your lips. Luke's eyes are locked on yours in the mirror as he fucks you. "God you're beautiful, perfect, you've got the- prettiest eyes that sparkle when you laugh, and look so good rolling back when I make you cum." He hums.

"Oh Luke." You moan part of that was sweet, part if it made your walls clench around his dick.

"You're perfectly soft for hugging or cuddling and it doesn't hurt that I have plenty to hold onto when I wanna fuck you stupid." Luke says and if he weren't currently doing just that you might've laughed at his words, but the moaning makes it hard. "If I could spend all my days wrapped in your arms, buried in your heat- you have no idea how quickly I'd do it." You can feel your cheeks heating up from his, mostly, sweet words, so contrasting from the way he's railing you. "God I love you so much." He groans.

"I- I love you too Luke, more than- more than you know." You pant out.

"Fuck I'm close." He grits out. One of his hands wraps around your waist and finds your clit. It doesn't take much, a few well focused circles of your sensitive bundle of nerves and you're shaking as your orgasm hits, your walls clamping down so tightly around Luke's dick it pulls his orgasm from him too. His hips stop flush against yours as hot spurts flood your inner walls. You practically slump against the bathroom counter as the waves of your release die down. You're not quite sure how he manages but Luke turns you around and lifts you in his arms again somehow without fully pulling out of you. He walks you both over to the bed and lays down with you on top of him, soft dick still buried in your heat. Luke lifts your head from his chest to get your attention.

"I love every part of you with all that I am." He says.

"Thank you. I love you too." You say softly.

"I know insecurities are no easy battle but, yours is a body the Greeks would build statues for. It pains me that you see yourself as less than idolized."

"I'll admit it's much harder to feel that way when you react like this."

"Well I'll just have to make a habit of it then." He kisses your forehead.

"I- can't say I'm opposed to that suggestion." You hum.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"And where we on food? Did your appetite come back any?" He asks, hand stroking soothingly down your back.

"Yeah but- I'm too tired to move." You mumble into his chest and he laughs.

"Don't worry I won't make you get up now. I'm sure after a nap your body will convince you to get up and eat, until then let's just lay here."

"Perfect that's exactly what I planned to do." You sigh as you snuggle closer to him. Maybe your insecurities will beat your ass every once in a while, but you smile knowing Luke will be there to fight them with you and that is more than enough for you.

***

[idontplaytrack]

can I please request a regina x reader fic where reader helps regina through her physical therapy after the bus crash when regina feels like giving up?

Try again tomorrow

Regina George x fem! reader

Warnings: mentions to the bus accident, surgery, suicidal ideation

Thanks anon!

- w.c.: 1.5k

‘Generally, spine fractures take six to twelve weeks to heal…’

‘It really depends, Regina. You had some surgery as part of your treat. That usually prolongs the healing process.’

‘Just stay consistent with your physical therapy, it helps, Regina. It will help.’

Were they right? Sure. Did Regina believe that? Mostly. But being in pain really made it bloody difficult. This pain wasn’t the run-of-mill ache, it kept Regina up at night, it made Regina lose her focus on the task she was doing, it made Regina cry. And what did that do? It freaked you out, broke your heart and made you want to cry.

You waited in the medical centre parking lot for Regina while she was at her thrice weekly session with her physical therapist. You drove her here after school, and once she was inside, you left the hospital grounds halfway through to get her something to cheer her up after the session. She was here three times a week, twice after school on weekdays, then Sunday. It’s been about a month since she’d been discharged from the hospital, that meant twelve physical therapy sessions in that month. As beneficial as it was for her spine’s healing, Regina was not only physically tired but emotionally drained. These sessions took a lot of effort given her current condition. Pushing through the discomfort with each rep of exercise? Regina wanted to burst into tears with each rep.

She knew it would hurt, people told her, she felt it. But damn, why did it have to? Regina also thought she deserved it. Having Aaron follow her around like a lost puppy, manipulating Cady, bullying Janis. Karma was a bitch, right? Yes, right.

Regina found herself just staring blankly at the occasionally flickering fluorescent lights on the ceiling while doing the spine strengthening exercises. She stared and stared, her mind fell silent for a little while…but then, it got loud. It started racing with a ton of insane, insane thoughts. Like…how she would rather take a day off and not put herself through this crippling pain, how she would want you here with her so she wasn’t here in silence with this middle-aged woman that was her physical therapist, how she would rather just…stop trying. Stop trying so hard to exist at all. She wanted the pain to just— stop. But she didn’t know how except, end it. Sometimes, Regina wished that life would play out another sick joke, and let that happen. Except it would work out in her favour this time, she thought.

Regina’s walked out to your car with a straight face, she’s walked out angry, she’s walked out with glossed over eyes, she’s walked out with tears rolling down her cheeks, she’s even walked out of there wailing and screaming once. Today? Tears. So much tears, and frustration. You could just tell before she even came into clear sight. Why? Apart from the obvious reason of the pain from her back and the physical therapy. She had also started her period last night.

You got out of the driver’s seat to open the door and help her into the passenger seat and buckled. “You want me to put the seat back?”

She only shook her head and shut her eyes.

“Okay.” You said, pressing a quick but gentle little kiss to her forehead before you shut the door on her side and got back in the driver’s side. You could only hope and pray that the drive home would be mostly smooth.

After about forty or so minutes, you had pulled up to her driveway. Regina was still asleep, or had her eyes closed at least. You tapped her shoulder to get her attention. Regina mumbled incoherently, then, “I know, I’m not sleeping.” You helped her out of the car, and into her house. But no, she did not want to deal with more stairs so she’s decided to settle on the couch instead. “Are you hungry? I bought soup and some cheese fries too.”

“What soup?” She asked quietly, looking up at you then sniffling.

“Egg drop soup. From that place you like.”

She nodded, swallowing thickly.

“I’ll go get you some.”

She stayed silent. When you came back you just gave her the bowl of soup that you’d ladled out of the plastic takeout container. Carefully, you sat down next to her while she ate some of that. “Painkillers?”

She scoffed, “No. It doesn’t kill the pain.”

You looked at her, worried.

“I honestly—” She inhaled sharply, somewhat vigorously stirring the soup spoon in the bowl, as though trying to find a prize at the bottom, and avoid your worried eyes. “Never mind.”

You just stared at her.

She sighed deeply, struggling to set the bowl down. Regina honestly wanted to just throw it down on the coffee table, but she stopped herself. “I’m in a lot of pain, the physical therapy is more pain. For forty-five minutes, three times a week. I don’t know, okay? Sometimes I just feel like giving up because fuck, just fuck. Fuck this, fuck the accident, fuck the pain, fuck all the time I have spent in and out of the hospital, spent sitting and laying in bed because I couldn’t sleep properly, because this accident fucked my life up into complete chaos. I am tired. Tired. I don’t want pain, I don’t want to get sad every time I think of what I have done, or how sometimes I close my eyes and see Janis rushing to me seeing me looking like god knows what laying on the damn road, thinking I was gone. Why did she apologise to me? When I haven’t done that once? Why did I not? Why did I let a book of papers ruin the lives of people. So many people. What was I trying to achieve? Fame? Fortune? Fuck you, Regina. You’re 18 and with chronic pain. The only thing you’re getting is a life of misery like you deserve.”

“Regina.” You cut her off before she could continue rambling. “Oh. My. God. Listen to me.”

She was picking at the skin at the side of her thumb. You could hear it- tick, tick, tick. It made your skin crawl hearing it.

“Regina!” Your hand gripped her wrist, the other took the bowl and put it down, “Look at me. Look at me, Reg.”

“No.”

“You better look at me right now.” You insisted sternly. “Good.”

You could tell she was trying to look away.

“It’s fucking hard work, okay? I know. I see you every day. But every day, you are improving. You are. It may not feel like it because you still feel pain but look and think about it for a second. You’re moving around better now than you were able to even just two weeks ago. I know it is so hard, it feels like it takes forever but please…don’t give up. Today was hard? Well, tomorrow would be different. Because tomorrow is not today, and tomorrow is another day. A brand new day and it’s up to you what you do with it. Who knows what woukd happen? You decide.I know you hate hearing corny, cheesy shit. But God, you really just have to listen and believe it. I know it feels isolating, and vulnerable to have to need help with things. But baby, I’m still here. I’ve been here, and I swear. I promise you, no matter what the hell happens. I will still be staying right here. You are not alone. Even if every last person on this planet evaporates? I will be here.”

She bursts into tears, and there you knelt right in front of her, both hands holding her face and swiping her cheeks away. “I know it hurts. And I wish I could just help you take it all away, but I’m not magic, I can’t help you that way. But I will help you, in whatever way I can.”

“Thank you.” She exhaled shakily, “It’s just been so much to deal with, baby. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, it’s going to get better with time. Don’t apologise.”

“I haven’t done anything for you.” She cried.

“Oh, bull.” You caressed her cheek, “You have. Of course you have, you fought and you stayed. And you’re still fighting. You’re Regina George, you always win. You always win.”

“I love you.” She licked her lips, beginning to try to regulate her own breathing.

“Regina, you are so strong, I’m so proud of you. You’ve come a long way, not just with this, but…everything. Making amends with Janis, Karen, Gretchen…everyone. You are changing, and for the good. You know there are so many things to live for, you also know that there are rough times and rough days, you know I am here for you as your partner but.” You sighed, “You might need a little reminder every now and then I will make sure you get those reminders and remember that, you got this. We got this. You’re alive, breathing and living life in the most Regina George ways ever. I love you, it’s us against the whole damn world.”

A tear slipped from her eye, “Us against the world.”

“Forever and ever.”

You nodded, manoeuvring yourself so you could kiss her on the lips, she said, “And ever.”

🏷️ Tag list: @ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

💬 A/N: Bit of a shorter one because I wanted to get something done before I went to bed. Hope you enjoyed :)

[chai-sweets]

Talkin’ about being tired

I have had a pretty busy last couple of weeks. Obviously I work every weekday, but I also had a busy weekend; I went to an arcade with my partner for his birthday, and then of course mother’s day happened too, so I went to brunch with my mom. Both events were fun and I don’t regret going— I’m glad I was able to celebrate my loved ones, but both events were also exhausting to me because of how dysfunctional and loser-esque I am as a person.

All that is to say that I’ve had a headache (and my body is also just bizarrely sore, why???) for the past two days now. I’ve also had to visit the pharmacy yesterday, and today I have more errands to run….. ughghghhh…. how do people DO this? I cannot. I simply can’t. I’m even eating breakfast finally (well, drinking a protein drink, I can’t stand eating too early in the morning….), but it’s not helping all that much. I never got to rest after the arcade and brunch, two very exhausting endeavors!! Straight into the workweek with after work errands??? Aauaghh!! my poor broken brain!

I need a cold, dark, QUIET, and SCENTLESS (or at least scented nicely and lightly with a smell I actually tolerate) room to sleep in for, like, 10 uninterrupted hours. Also, I’ll need my weighted blanket.

But alas, there are errands I have to run. Shoutout to my partner for soloing the grocery store and dishes for the last…. it seems like forever, and for eating a bunch of sandwiches with me since I guess I just can’t be bothered to cook anymore. I did manage to bake some awesome birthday brownies, though.

TLDR- Grievances upon grievances, iymtyk (if you’re my therapist, you know). I’m functional to outside eyes, but I feel… BAD- Physically mostly, but i’m also exhausted mentally and haven’t cooked a decent meal (other than sandwiches, but that doesn’t require cooking, per se…) in months!

TLDRtheTLDR: I’m tired!!

[isaut]

𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒚— beidou x fem!reader. 1.3k. part of of 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆. (a southern au)

beidou thinks it was an accident. named after the jon pardi song. cw: reader has breasts, works at a high school and is me

“You look nice today,” Kazuha comments, sipping a coke out of a hard, plastic cup tinted with teal. “Did you go home and change?” 

Beidou slides into the bar seat beside Kazuha, shifting onto one side to pull her wallet out her back pocket. She pulls out her card, tapping it absentmindedly against the bar counter. 

“Yeah. I went ahead and showered,” Beidou says. “Was feelin’ grimy.” 

“Sure,” Kazuha says. 

The bartender comes over and exchanges Beidou’s card for an already-filled pint. 

“They got you workin’ tonight, Diluc?” Beidou asks, bringing the beer to her lips. 

“I have myself working tonight,” Diluc comments dryly. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Beidou mumbles. “Thanks for the beer. Has he paid yet?” She asks, pointing her thumb over at Kazuha. 

“He said he was probably driving you home, so I told him his coke would be on the house,” Diluc says, running Beidou’s card on his system to start a tab. 

“I’m just havin’ a few beers, I’m not gettin’ drunk. I showered, I’m not stayin’ out late.” 

“Sure,” Diluc says, “Whatever you say.” 

“Sourpuss,” Beidou laughs, taking another drink of beer. She glances around the bar, taking in the patrons. It’s nothing but regulars. 

“She’s sitting in the back, third booth from the right,” Kazuha says, calm as ever. 

A light flush dusts across Beidou’s cheeks as she follows Kazuha’s instructions. Once she gets a quick glimpse of you, sitting in the booth and listening to one of your coworkers, she turns back around and faces the bar. 

“Grubber is on her way,” Kazuha says, “So we should probably move to a booth. Maybe we can find one nearby.” 

“Shut up,” Beidou says, mostly into the top of her pint. 

Kazuha hums, playing with the straw of his drink. “You wouldn’t like that? Maybe she’d like it.” 

“You’re givin’ me a hard time,” Beidou bemoans. 

Kazuha smiles just a twinge to himself. He stands, collecting his drink. “I would never do that.” 

“You’re full of shit,” Beidou says, following her friend over to an empty booth. 

With a few beers in your system, you’re no longer feeling the stress of the work week. Across from you is your coworker, Lisa, who spends her week in the town’s high school alongside you. And beside her is her wife, Jean, who’s tab you rack up on the weekends with beers and the weekdays with Diet Coke. 

And it’s a longstanding tradition, to get drinks Friday after work ever since you moved back to the town you grew up in. Helps that Angel’s Share is a common watering hole in the small town, and helps that there’s always company that’s easy on the eyes. 

You watch, tuning out your friends, as your current eye candy walks from the booths to the bar. You know Beidou, mostly because she was the first person you were reacquainted with upon arriving back in town. She did the renovation work on your late-grandparent’s home, and you couldn't help but watch her every Friday and hope that she did the same. 

“Diluc’s pouring her beers,” You say to your friends, cutting Lisa off, reapplying your lipgloss. “I’m going to go intercept.” 

“You could go just ask for her number like a sane person,” Jean says. 

“Where’s the fun in that?” Lisa hums, resting her chin in her palm. 

“Exactly,” You say, shaking your hair out, feeling your hoops tap against the sides of your face. You adjust your shirt, sliding your hands across your chest to make sure your breasts look nice. “How do I look?” 

You don’t wait for a response as you slide out of your seat, already seeing your window close. Beidou stands at the bar, precariously trying to balance four pints together. 

Slowing your pace, you watch as she begins to turn away from the bar and walk back to the booth she typically sits at. Timing is everything. You take a few quick steps, look behind you at your table, and collide straight into five foot ten  of legs, breasts and beer. 

And it’s sticky. The cheap beer soaks down your front, splashes up onto your face, a bit gets in your hair. The bar falls silent. You throw your hands up, your fake gasp turned real at how horrible the beer feels against your skin. The glasses clatter to the floor, creating a mess at your feet. 

What a good thing you came straight from work and still had sensible, close toed shoes on. 

“Shit, shit!” Beidou exclaims. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Fuck, let me, let me grab you a towel.” 

You make a show of wiping the beer from your face, off your chest. “No, I wasn’t looking.” 

“Now I’ve ruined your Friday night,” Beidou says, grabbing the rag offered to her off the bar. She makes a move to pat the beer off your chest, but pauses halfway in the movement to hand it to you instead. Gingerly, you pat away at your chest. 

“Would take a bit more than a spilt beer to ruin my night,” You say, giving her a small smile. “Anyways, I think I got a spare in my car.” 

Beidou exhales. She glances out the window, taking in the dark sky. “Shit, it’s gettin’ dark out. Let me walk you out there?” 

“You don’t need to do that,” You say, looking up at her through your lashes. 

Beidou lets out a nervous laugh. “I mean, ‘s only polite.” 

“Aren’t you sweet,” You say, gently patting down the tops of your thighs, clad in the jeans you wore for casual friday. 

“Fuck, I feel bad,” Beidou repeats. 

“It’ll all come out in the wash,” You reply, “Let me go grab my purse. I think I got some school shirt in the trunk or somethin.’ Wait right here.” 

You walk back towards the table with a triumphant smirk on your face. Picking up your purse, you give Jean and Lisa a smile. “I’m gonna go grab a shirt out my car. I think I have a school one in there. If I’m not back in ten minutes, know I died happy.” 

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Jean asks. 

Lisa places her hand on her arm. “We should just get another round of drinks for the two of us Have fun, sweetie.” 

“I’m comin’ back,” You say. 

“You don’t want to,” Lisa fires back. 

“I’m not that easy,” you hiss back, turning to head back to Beidou. 

As you walk out with her, you toss a look over your shoulder. “Beidou, right? I think you did the work on my granny’s house earlier this year.” 

Beidou’s eye lights up. “You remember me?” 

You laugh, coming to the side of your car and unlocking it. All the light is a almost-burnt out floodlight of Angel’s Share, and the dim light interior light of your car. There’s nothing sexy about the jeans you’re wearing, but you still make a show of bedinging over to search through your car for a tshirt, finding one advertising the high school you work at’s cheer team. 

“You don’t remember me?” You ask, unbuttoning your shirt and shamelessly changing into the cotton tee in the dark parking lot. 

“Shit!” Beidou exclaims, “Nah, I never said that. No, I’ve got a mind like a steel strap, I mean, trap– Are you sure you don’t want to change inside?” 

You throw your button down in the passenger seat and straighten up, back to Beidou, as you pull the shirt over your head. Turning around, you flip your hair out from the shirt. 

“Too late for that, don’tcha think?” You ask, tilting your head to the side. 

“Goddamn, you’re crazy,” Beidou says, racking her mind for any information she picked up about you during the year she worked on your inherited house. “Aren’t you a teacher or something?” 

“What are they gonna do, fire me? There’s a shortage, y’know.” 

“That’s fair,” Beidou says. “Hey, let me buy you a drink, as an apology for ruinin’ your shirt.” 

“Like I’ve been saying’: You didn’t ruin nothin’. I got a washer at home, you know. But I’ll take a drink. ‘S long as you drink it with me.” 

“Deal,” Beidou says, “What’re you drinkin?” 

[cruorcrave]

7 January 2025

(TL;DR at the end.)

Yesterday was a really long day but overall pretty okay until the end. My sister, one of my aunts and I all went shopping for some winter and travel stuff for when we go overseas. It was pretty exciting even if spending that much money felt kind of terrifying and my feet were super sore after walking for four or so hours.

Last night wasn't great though. My dad's a bit of a hoarder and my mum is a very neat person (they're divorced so it's not usually much of a problem) but my dad's house is owned by one of my aunts (my mother's sister) and it's been causing some tension recently. Last night, me and my mother were staying at that aunt's house and they got into an argument whilst I was trying to sleep. I was sleeping on the couch so I had to wear long pants to bed so no one would see the wounds on my thigh and it was boiling hot. I had to blast music in my ears to drown out the sound of the argument. I did that a lot when I was younger but I haven't had to for a while because, again, parents have been separated for like 8 years. I made my "bed" on the couch at like 10:00 and got to sleep at, idk, midnight? Not that late, but with the rest of the day's 4+ hours of walking and talking taken into mind, I was fucking exhausted.

As such, today was rough. Sleep deprived, I mostly just sat around all day and it made me feel like shit. My mother and I went shopping for some travel stuff for her which was fun sort of but pretty tiring yet again. I got a pizza from my favourite pizza place which was nice! But we got home about an hour ago and I'm just wiped out.

It's been so bad mentally. One of my old friends (a cool one not one of the mean ones) is filming a short film soon and I'm in a few scenes and I'm so fucking anxious about it. The person I'm sharing the scenes with is someone I've had a lot of tension with but everyone thinks we're best friends because we've known each other for 12 years, had the same classes and had a secret handshake. But in all honesty, being around him is kind of awful. He makes me feel like shit for doing literally anything. Luckily though, some cool people will be there and we're only filming for a few hours. I messaged the main guy and he said if I need to take some extra breathers on the day that's totally okay. Such a chill dude, such a relief to hear that.

Unfortunately with all the shit that's been going on recently, I did relapse tonight. I feel so annoyed about it but it is what it is. Relapses are part of recovery. Healing isn't linear and all that. I just feel disappointed I guess. In myself that is.

I talked to my mother about moving back to the city to my aunt's house, even just on weekdays (she drives to and from the city every few days for work) and she said it seems like a good idea. She agrees I should get a job and connect with people some more. Glad to hear I'm making the right moves. Can't move until after we're back from our holiday, but that gives me some time to prepare. Still kind of feel scared about moving back though.

Happy for that friend being cool about me needing some room to breathe and thankful for my mother paying for so much of my travel expenses. People can be really cool if you stick with the right ones.

Song of the Day: Get Out Alive - Three Days Grace

TL;DR:

Last two days have been really tiring. Did lots of shopping. Some of my relatives are arguing and it's annoying. Doing some filming for a short film soon and I'm really anxious about it. I relapsed. About 5 days clean before that. Might move back to the city when we return from our holiday.

Clean since 7 January 2025

[badgod01]

Birthday - Chapter 2

Despite Infected being a very easily-distractible individual, he continues doing that for a few days—thinking, racking his brain for any potential possibilities of topping Pest. He wants it to be special and exciting since, as far as he knows, Pest doesn't like bottoming. "It just doesn't look appealing" is something that Infected keeps going back on. It's interesting; Pest has pulled him and Poob apart countless times but doesn't think of any of that as appealing enough to be done to him. On one of his thinking days, he wanders to PartyNoob's apartment by himself when they get off of work to ask them something.

"Hey! I didn't expect you, so I'm still in my work uniform," Poob says, but any hint of embarrassment isn't there. "Nice to see you, Infected." They smile at him, ushering him inside wtih a wave of their hand. They're used to people popping in and hanging out, but usually not one of their boyfriends on a weekday.

As soon as Infected steps into the apartment, he realizes how anxious he actually is. It's kind of a weird question—a very weird question—that he doesn't really know how to go into it smoothly. So he doesn't. "Hey, so for Pest's birthhday I was thinking I'd top him—do you want to join and do you have any ideas of what he'd like?"

As soon as the words fell out of his mouth, Poob's eyes lit up. "Oh, do I!" They grab his hand and led him into their bedroom. They look underneath their bed and pull out a shoe box; upon opening it, Infected's eyes widen when he sees a box full of kinky shit, but that apparently isn't just it. "I've been thinking about this for a long time." Underneath the box was a leather-bound diary, and when Infected is handed the item, Poob grabs a fresh set of pajamas. "I'll shower, while you read that like a good boy." They give him a kiss on the cheek before heading into the bathroom.

Infected's face flushes up and he looks down at the book, but glances curiously at the box. He kind of wants to go through the box first, and nudges open the lid. Just at first glance, he sees a small pouch, anal beads, a gag, and bondage rope. It's also heavy but Infected doesn't want to rifle through all that and potentially break something. Maybe Poob will show him another time, but for now, Infected opens the book. It's an embarrassing thing to read; it's all the things they and Pest did together, with dates of when it happened, as well as their thoughts.

Pest LOVES fucking me in doggy style. I like the way he grabs onto my thighs and treats me like a toy. He's really SO hot. I want to do it more often. I love pushing his buttons and making him mad so he fucks me harder ♡

11/22

For my birthday, Pest gave me a fuck ton of eggs and I LOVE it. We fucked in missionary and he kept making me come over and over again until I only had dry orgasms. I struggled to push the eggs out, which was the best part tbh. That's also his favorite part, even if he wouldn't admit it. He LOVES watching me push out his eggs.

11/30

We've been mostly having vanilla sex (well vanilla to Pest's and my standards I guess) so we tried something a bit more special today. Sensory deprivation. He tied me up and blindfolded me and rubbed me all over, but not enough to even get me close to cumming. It made me feel crazy and he took a video of my dick throbbing so he could show me later, which was arguably the most embarrassing prt of it. He also used the ovipositor on me which was SO hot. I almost thought it was his dick until I felt the tips of his fingers on my ass.

He only let me cum when I began drooling all over the pillow and crying, so he stuck his dick in and filled me with his eggs. He took off the rope and stuff when I laid them, but I kinda wish at one point I'll get to do that with him. His only concern was that there was a possibility I'd get scared and freak out if I was blindfolded and tied up during egg laying, which is valid and honestly I probably would lol.

12/07

We tried prone bone, had to put his muscles to use, and it was amazing. No notes. I kinda wished there were no eggs involved in that one, but man I can't deny how hot it is to have them be dumped directly into me like that…

At the fifth page he read, he's starting to think that PartyNoob perhaps gave him the wrong item or maybe was mistaken. Even then, he couldn't stop reading. The thrill of being given permission to read something so private and so intense made him feel excited. Each time he raises his hand to turn the page, it gets heavier and more intense as he lingers onto every word written. He wonders distantly if it felt the same way when Poob wrote these pages, pants tight and face red.

As soon as he opens the next page, he finally sees it.

01/05

Talked with Pest about him potentially bottoming sometime… Seems he's kinda into it. He wasn't really helpful when talking about stuff he'd be into but he got all blushy, which is super cute. I had to REALLY press for details and by the time we were done I gave him a blowjob for a job well done. ♡

'Yeah, that sounds like him,' he thinks distantly. Infected continues reading.

I floated by some ideas with him and this is what he said:

-Tentative YES to bondage; seems kinda nervous about me doing "weird stuff" to him, whatever that means

Infected snorts. Of course Poob would ask that first.

-YES to anal

-YES to oviposition (me giving him eggs to lay instead). A really surprising one but I can't judge lol. He says it just feels biologically good to lay eggs which is REALLY hot…

'Holy fuck?' Infected's eye twitched.

-MAYBE to creampie. Doesn't like the idea of having to clean up, which is SO him that I can't be mad about it lol

-YES to facial/coming on any other part of the body. He says he doesn't want to get it in his hair because he thinks it's yucky? (not his wording)

Infected kinda wishes Pest did say it exactly like that. That would have been hilarious to imagine with his dark, accented voice.

-NO to facefucking, he's scared of biting my dick off (reasonable) with either his teeth OR his mandibles

-I asked him if he liked rough or soft sex + he didn't give me a straight-forward answer on that one. I'll have to ask again some other time. For what it's worth, he DOES like it whenever I do my mommy dommy stuff with him, even if he prefers to dom

Infected did see some mentions of that before in the journal. He's also seen it happen a few times when Poob takes control of the bedroom, and it's glorious to see how quiet and shifty Pest gets when they do. This is the moment when he realizes what the hell he's reading and how strange it is in hindsight. Infected certainly doesn't own his own journal like this… but maybe it'd be fun. It'd give him something to do when he's sitting in his apartment all day.

-YES to degradation (obviously)

-NO to slapping or harming him, but he does like biting and ******LIGHT****** spanking

Infected laughs at the emphasis and turns the page.

-MAYBE to threesomes. He (and I) don't wanna have sex with /just/ anybody. He has to be the right guy.

Anyway, I had to head to work after that, but I sent him a dick pic when I was on the elevator lol

Infected promptly closes the notebook and sighs. Seems like the end of that. After that honestly overwhelming read, he wants to take a cold shower. Speaking of, PartyNoob appears in the doorway wearing their pajamas, looking refreshed.

"Did that help at all?" they ask, sitting next to Infected.

"Uh, yeah! More than," Infected says. "I did have to look through some of the other stuff to find it though…"

"Oh, I know. I don't mind you reading that," Poob replie There isn't even a hint of shame to their response.s.

Infected doesn't know what else to say other than the less than eloquentt "Oh, okay," that leaves his mouth. He rubs his thighs together, shifting for even a bit of relief.

Poob places their hand directly on his bulge, making him moan and buck into their hand. When he looks at them, they're grinning. "Do you need help with that, baby?"

Infected lets out a pent-up sigh. "Please." It comes out whinier than it should.

PartyNoob gives him a gentle kiss, placing their hands on his thighs. They push themselves up onto Infected's lap, opening his fly and pushing his pants just down enough for his cock to spring out. His breath hitches when they wrap their hand around his dick, and he gasps when they spit on their hand and begin pumping it.

"What was your favorite part?" Poob prods.

"I liked reading about you fucking," Infected replies.

They laugh a bit. "You have to be more specific than that."

"I liked—" He swears under his breath, pushing his forehead against Poob's. "I liked reading about all the positions he fucked you in."

"Who fucked me?" They squeeze his dick gently, making Infected groan.

"Pest." Infected struggles to get his name out of his mouth. "I liked reading about Pest fucking you in all those positions." He grabs Poob by the wrist, stopping their movements right then and there. "I need to fuck you," he whispers, desperate.

Poob licked their lips. "Well, I can't let you fuck me because I just showered."

Infected sighs, nodding his head. Reasonable, but that doesn't mean he's not slightly upset about it. He loves fucking Poob, and Poob must know it, because they grin at him and give him a kiss on top of his head.

"I'll give you a blowjob, though. And I'll let you fuck my face if you wanna." Poob sticks out their tongue from the side of their mouth and taps their cheek with the tip of their finger, clearly teasing Infected.

"Fuck."

Poob laughs a bit. "I'll take that as a yes. Go sit in the middle of the bed, handsome. And take off your shoes."

Infected follows their orders obediently; he takes off his shoes and sets it beside the bed, before he scoots into the middle. He has half the mind to take off his jacket and put it aside as well. After that, PartyNoob crawls up to them, looking so pretty yet so seductive, with a small smile on their face.

They place their hands on Infected's knees, spreading them apart. "I love your dick. It's just the tastiest," they say softly, hands reaching for Infected's belt as he squirms at the words. "It's got a nice curve. It's thick yet not big enough to hurt or go too deep." Infected's belt falls to the floor and Poob carefully opens his fly and unbuttons his pants. "You might have the most perfect dick I know."

"Hah—" Poob hasn't even touched Infected yet, and he's throbbing in his pants just from the words. Poob's vulgar, but never spoke to him like this. Their worship is intense, and all he could do is bury his face in their collarbone, feeling spineless. Poob has a special ability to make him feel submissive, and they know the power they hold so carelessly over him. They're dangerous.

"I just really, really love your dick," they whisper, pushing down Infected's pants and underwear enough for his dick to pop out. That's when Poob pounces, pushing Infected onto his back and taking a mouthful of his dick instantly.

Infected's reaction was immediate, moaning and whining for them. His dick was so sensitive and their mouth was so hot that it was impossible to not react. His dick was coated in saliva from Poob's tongue when they pulled away, sighing happily and licking their lips as if it was just a sweet treat.

"I mean, look at this." They wrap their hand around Infected's shaft, delicate fingers pushing against a prominent vein on the underside of his cock. "You got hard reading my sex diary. You probably read dirty novels too, don't you? Or are you an eromanga guy?" They begin pumping their hand up and down his  dick, making Infected writhe on the bed. "Answer my question, handsome."

"I—ungh," he whines out, making Poob giggle. Infected resists the overwhelming urge to hide his face in his hands, wanting to answer Poob just as directed, but their hand is so adept. "I'm not—it's just, ah, reading what you did with Pest…"

Poob squeezes his dick hard, making Infected let out a particularly needy whine and thrust his hips forward. "Good boy!" They grin and lick their lips before wrapping them around his dick yet again. They open their eyes just a smidge to look up at him, hollowing out their cheeks while they suck his dick. Infected reaches forward to grab Poob's hair and starts pulling their head down to meet his thrusts. Despite their eyes watering around the waterline, they don't seem bothered by it. They close their eyes and take it, breathing deeply through their nose.

"I'm gonna come," Infected says through gritted teeth. "I love you, I love you, I love you!"

At that moment, he unloads in Poob's mouth, letting out a loud moan. At that moment, every part of his body tenses up and time feels like it's stopped for him. When he's finally finished, he relaxes, letting go of Poob's hair and his legs hit the bed. It takes a moment for either of them to say anything to each other—Poob is busy swallowing his load, and Infected is busy gathering his breath. Both of their faces are red.

"I love you too," Poob says, "but I'm hard now too…" A hint of a whine comes from them as they sit up on their knees, a tent showing in their pajama bottoms.

Infected grins wickedly. "I'll let you fuck my face too."

Poob smiles back, crawling back onto Infected's lap. "If you can handle it, handsome." They unbutton the front of their pajamas, revealing nothing underneath, just their hard dick poking through the front.

"You planned this, didn't you?"

"Just a little," Poob replies. They moved forward more until their thighs were on the opposite of Infected's face. "I had a feeling you wouldn't be able to control yourself."

"Well, when I read about a pretty boy and their hot boyfriend fucking, I can't really help it." Infected kisses the tip of Poob's dick, making them curse softly under their breath.

"Open, baby," Poob instructs.

Infected opens his mouth and Poob inserts their dick slowly into him, sighing as they do.

"Just stay still and be a good hole, mkay?" they ask with the sweet voice they always have.

Infected moans in response, closing his eyes. He tries to relax as Poob begins to slowly roll their hips back and forth. It's much more different than the other times they've had sex; it genuinely feels more like making love. At the same time, Infected squirms a little bit—he's being used. He likes pleasing his partners, he knows that much, and it feels the most obvious that he's aroused by this. It doesn't help that Poob lets out pretty moans—all of them is pretty—but these moans are soft yet punchy, almost sweet like the rest of them is.

"My good boy," Poob whispers softly, threading their fingers into his hair. They scratch his scalp gently as they slowly insert their dick in all the way into Infected's throat. They aren't the biggest, they're almost as big as Infected is, but his throat still spasms around the intrusion and his eyes shoot open. Poob pulls out, leaving Infected red in the face and coughing a bit. "You okay, handsome?"

Infected licks his lips. "Yeah," he assures them, though water is in his eyes. He still looks up at Poob with a determined look on his face. "I'll be fine."

"If you say so," Poob replies back. They put their thumb in Infected's mouth, prying it open yet again, before slowly inserting their dick in his mouth again. He hollows out his cheeks, just like how they would do it, and they begin to thrust their hips gently back and forth.

They go deeper this time. They shove their whole length into Infected's mouth, back and forth, but doesn't hold it long enough for him to choke. They keep it there just long enough for him to react, to hold onto their thighs, but not enough for his body to go full alert. He's kept on the delicious edge where he can't do anything at all but sit there and allow Poob to fuck his face. All the while, he's hooked on the noises that's in the room—gentle moans, soft praises to Infected's body, and the soft gagging noises he makes.

Infected lets out a whine when Poob takes their dick out, making them giggle softly and rub their dick across his lips.

"Can I come in your mouth, handsome?" Poob asks, hand wrapped around their shaft. "Look at how much I wanna come." Poob's eyes are starry and intense when he looks up at them, and Infected goes cross-eyed trying to look at their throbbing hard dick.

"In me," Infected replies meekly.

"Where can I come?" Poob's hand speeds up and they moan.

Infected's breathless. "In my mouth—come in my mouth," he begs. He lolls out his tongue over his bottom lip, opening his mouth.

Poob takes the initiative and inserts their dick into his mouth yet again, but this time they're fully using him. They wildly thrust their hips back and forth with zero rhythm, without consistent depth. Sometimes their dick is fully inside his mouth and other times their tip only grazes his tongue. It's a struggle, but it isn't as bad as it was before. Just breathe, he thinks to himself. He closes his eyes and pays attention to the noises; he can hear the exact moment Poob is about to come by the way their thrusts slow down and the loud moans they let out. Eventually, they thrust all the way in and hold, coming down his throat.

Infected tenses up, trying his best to swallow it all down. Poob whines, rubbing their dick against his tongue a few more times before taking it out. As Poob's dick softens, Infected opens his eyes and sighs. "Even your cum is sweet."

Poob laughs, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. They reach over to the side table and grab tissues, patting them both down. "You're cute."

"Are you saying my cum is cute?" Infected asks, swallowing it down. He winces a little when Poob pats gently around his crotch. After that, Infected tucks his dick back into his pants and sits up. He flips the pillow over before laying on it again.

Poob doesn't respond to him, throwing the tissues into the bin in the opposite corner of the room. It falls on the floor and they get up to throw it away properly. They button up their pajama bottoms before they lay down next to Infected. "So… Do you have any plans for Pest?" They tap their fingers across his chest, laying on their side.

"I have a few," Infected says. "First of all…"

[la-principessa-nuova]

I’m definitely on a sort of downward spiral of distractibility and sleep schedule.

My official plan is to sleep 12am-8am and work 9am-5pm.

I was doing so well last year, typically falling asleep somewhere between 11 and 1, and waking up naturally somewhere between 7 and 8.

Then in early December, I had the moment where I understood my gender dysphoria and that I needed to transition, and that night I stayed up until 4 am reading about gender dysphoria and then until 5 am taking notes about it and buying stuff to try out presenting femme.

I never fully recovered from that night.

Eventually, around the time I started therapy, I mostly solved the issue (not because the therapy helped me with it, but more like being in a better place helped me get through finding a therapist finally). I was going to bed like 1-3 am, waking up 8:30-9 on weekdays, 8:30-11 on weekends.

Then I came out to my mom and sister, and there were a few nights after that where they unexpectedly came over with a barrage of questions and “concerns” and every time I’d planned on doing something else and so when they left I just continued on as if they hadn’t been there and stayed up late.

But then I got in the habit again of staying up until after 3am, with most nights not being in bed until 4am and so many nights that i’m up past 5am.

so then i sleep through my 8am alarm and usually wake up to my 9am one, check my email and teams on my phone, and if there’s nothing important, i go back to sleep.

So like right now it’s 12:15pm, and I haven’t gotten out bed to start working yet, aside from a few emails I read and archived in bed. Luckily the nature of my job doesn’t require me to do it on a schedule, aside from if i have meetings or someone asks me something, so I’ve been able to work around it mostly, except the part where I’m soooi tired all the time bc even with sleeping in, i’m only getting like 4-6 hours per night.

And I have an interview today for a job that would require me to get out of bed every morning and be on a call at 9 AM, and I kind of can’t imagine that even though I did it for years with no problem.

But I just keep getting so distracted. Like last night I went upstairs at like 11ish PM. I went up because I had an idea for a comic that I wanted to make, that I’d gotten distracted when I tried to make it earlier, and I sat down thinking I’ll do a quick doodle of it to get the idea out, maybe finish it, and be in bed by 1 AM. Then I got more distracted and ended up not staring drawing until almost 1 AM.

But it’s OK, I told myself, I’ll just doodle the concept really quickly and go to bed. Then I got hyper-focused on drawing, and suddenly it was, no joke, after 5 AM.

When I saw how late it was, I immediately went to bed. But by the time I fell asleep it was after 5:30.

But, like, the less I sleep the easier I get distracted and hyperfocus on the wrong things, and the more I do that, the less I sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.

I have some ideas to try to get myself back on track, but PDA makes it a real struggle to stick to plans that are ultimately about getting me to stop doing what I want and yield my time, since as soon as I go to sleep, my time is over and the next thing I have to do is work again.

[guzsdaily]

[Actually] Automating my life

Day 16 - Nov 21st, 12.023

Another late post, another short post. I have to admit that the motivation of yesterday faded a little this morning, and things like today's heat didn't help me to get my laptop to work outside of home as I like. I'm still having trouble knowing what to do daily, but there's a reason: I need to work on my Obsidian setup and workflow, but knowing what to work when you don't have the tools to know it even harder. So in summary, it is a vicious cycle.

Thankfully today I was able to work on one of the steps of this setup: the weekly notes. These notes are meant to just get an overview in the start of the week and to schedule tasks of each weekday, said tasks are from the month's projects, and I'm really feeling that this can work better than my last workflow. Unfortunately this was what I mostly did today, because it is Obsidian, so I need to create/edit the templates from scratch, and a lot of the functionality is custom-made to myself and my setup, so it consumes a lot of time, which I hope that will be paid off when I start to work on projects themselves.

The process is simple: create a weekly note, see what tasks the select project has, and schedule them to a weekday. And to always help me be in focus and know about data/information, things such as the current quarterly theme are informed, if there are other tasks not related to the project and/or overdue from the past weeks, if there are any events in this week, etc. I still need to add some "decor" to the note, like a progress-bar or info of how many tasks were done in the week, a heatmap on how the routine is going, etc. But the basic functionality is there.

Compared with the previous it is a lot cleaner and organized also, hopefully now it will also be easier to add or remove functionality of the notes. Something which is a lot better to me now is that most of the note's logic is at the template level when it is created, so I'm less locked-in into Templater, Dataview or even Obsidian itself, because the end result is just a markdown page and I don't need to add backwards functionality for future notes, tasks, data, etc.

This is a very different post I have to admit, but it kinda returns to what I planned this daily journal to be, a log of how I'm improving in my productivity, project work, personal growth, etc. Now that I'm trying to actually work, more than just talking about how I need to work and build this workflow. Hopefully tomorrow I can complete this weekly note, finish the daily note, and maybe refactor a little of the code in the monthly note now that I found a better way to code the logic of the notes.

Today's artists & creative things

Song: You Will Be Okay - cover by Caleb Hyles I started to watch Helluva Boss since the first episode, and I think I never liked an animated series so much since then (to be honest I don't watch a lot of series, but whatever, it's still marvelous). And this song... fucking god... this song hit me hard when I listened it the first time, I don't know why exactly, but personally, it is not so frequent that I'm told that "everything will be okay, you will be okay" y'know? So highly recommend listening to it, the original or the cover which I recommended today, it just fits more the music style that I like than the original.

Copyright (c) 2023-present Gustavo "Guz" L. de Mello <contact.guz013@gmail.com>

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-SA 4.0) License

[kinetic-elaboration]

September 23: Time Loop Stats

Okay, since Troped Time Loop’s official, actual writing period is ending in a couple hours, here is the status of my monster of a multi-chapter, novel-length fic.

Total chapter count: 5

Chapter 1: Written and mostly edited

Chapter 2: Written and partially edited (not much)

Chapter 3: Written

Chapter 4: Partially written (not much)

Chapter 5: Not written (outlined)

Total scenes left to write: 11

I also have a working title, though I think that it’s probably going to be the actual title, and I’ve played around with the summary and notes in my head, though I haven’t actually written any of that down. So. It’s still a lot but I’ve definitely made progress. I’m trying to be more proud of myself for writing as much as I have given that I started this fic at the end of July, so less than two months ago, and less bothered that I didn’t finish it on time. That wasn’t really realistic anyway. The biggest issue at this point… well, the two biggest. One, I’ve basically decided I’ll post the first chapter, even without the whole thing written. I need to finish the editing and I’m not in a rush to do that but when it’s ready, it’s ready. So I’m worried about what the effect of that will be, if there will be a response and it will inspire me or if I’ll just feel stressed and demoralized and less likely to work on it. And the second issue is that it’s nearly October and I have other Halloween stuff to write. I’ve signed up for the Troped Halloween exchange, so that’s a pretty big one and a necessary commitment, and I really, really want to write Halloween ficlets to post at the end of the month. I really don’t now how long it will take me to complete the draft (let alone the editing) of the time loop, and it’s possible I’ll need to take a break to work on these other things. I’m still trying to be optimistic—the truth is that the early era of writing this fic showed me that I can do it quite fast if I put my mind to it and commit to writing on the weekdays, and it’s just some tough mental times that have gotten in the way more recently. Plus, the weather’s supposed to be getting better, cooler, and that helps with my energy levels a lot. But it’s just hard to say. Hard to predict.

I did write today even though it was also a big sleeping day, and I’m glad I did. I’m a little close to judge the actual product but I think it’s good. The opening was an idea I’d had in my brain for a while so I think it’s inevitably kind of a downer to see it written down but… no one else saw the version in my head or lived with it like I did. It’s good. Now only… most of the rest of the chapter to go. It feels good to re-set with a new character and at least a couple new non-repeat scenes (I’m so tired of the repeating scenes! Damned time loop that I don’t know how to do!) and I just… I hope I can write another scene tomorrow, and really make some progress on actually finishing this thing!

[bl6ckr0s3]

Signs From God

Thursday evening, me & David went to the gym 2gether. It's relieving that I got to sit in the hot tub b4 realizing my period has returned forreals. I had a lot of on and off bleeding since I took that Provera Depo shot back in December. It fucked up my period cycle. I won't ever take that shot again, even if it helps prevent pregnancy for 3 months without having to take a birth control pill every day at the same time for the whole month. I had cramps and I bled heavier than usual today, which tells me that yes....my period has returned to normal.

Whenever we go to the gym, I always observe the locker b4 using it. I make sure there are no spills, wet drippings, dirt, somebody's belongings are not in there, even a piece of hair. I remember the locker was clean b4 putting my stuff inside. After returning to the locker to get my things out, I notice there was a small figurine on the top inside corner of the locker floor. It was a Lego size Jesus Christ figure. I thought it was a Lego at first, but it was just a small soft plastic figurine. Of all the lockers, of all the people that were there, it's weird that it appeared there after I got back. It's mostly young & ghetto people that are in there, so I know they didn't put it in my locker. An older lady I saw playing around in the swimming pool after the jacuzzi was still in the pool area when I left. Long story short, I felt that God is communicating with me and is reminding me that he is still here with me, watching over me, & listening to me whenever I pray. Nothing like this has ever happened to me b4.

Just the other day, I heard a male cat meowing really loud right by my apartment. I knew it was a male cat cuz they are usually the ones who make that loud long sound. I opened my door and looked outside & I saw this large gray male cat. He was either calling for a female, or he was calling his owners for food or to be let inside the home? I meowed at him, he looked at me, and started coming towards me. I was surprised that he wasn't afraid of me because most cats normally are afraid of people. He literally walked inside my apartment. He was dirty, but I gave him a couple of my bolonies b4 he wanted to be let out. I let him out right b4 David came over. When I did some grocery shopping 2day, I got a couple of cans of cat food and some temptations kitty snacks in case any stray kitty or that gray one may come by for food again. I hope I still have my pet supplies in my CA storage.

My maintenance exam is coming up this week. I honestly don't have the motivation to study for it especially if I'm working so much during the weekday, I don't have the time to study for it. Maybe I should've scheduled my test for Friday instead? I think it was the latest date I was allowed to schedule for it. Anyways, it doesn't matter. I may not even take the exam if I don't get a chance to study well for it. If I do well on it, and I had to interview for it again, then what's the point? I'm not gonna go through the interview again. I am just gonna wait to become a clerk and a custodian. I'm not saying I gave up, but my time & energy is precious to me, and I won't be wasting too much of it on the same things for nothing for the 2nd time especially if I won't get offered a maintenance position anytime soon.

I also learned a lot of things about Vera. Seems that female chameleons are really high maintenance. In about 3-4 months, I will have to upgrade her tank to a much bigger size for her growing self as well as set up her egg laying bin. It sucks because they lay eggs whether they have been with a male or not. If they can't get rid of their eggs, they can die from it sitting in their bellies. Chickens are the same way. They lay infertile eggs as well. It's no different than human females having to go through their period every month and it's something we can't prevent other then to use a pad every month to keep our clothes clean. Hopefully, I'll be able to pay off my credit cards soon so that I can use it to pay for her new tank. Her upgrade tank I been eyeing on is from the official Repti Terranium website. It's close to $400 for a 60 gallon vs a 40 gallon at the Aquatic Critter's pet store for the same price. I know what I'll be ordering, and I will need to order a nice table for her new tank. I can add all of her fake trees and vines and additional real plants if I truly want to once I can really set up her tank in a way I want to set it up. Her current tank is somewhat kinda small for a nice looking set up since I have to move around her bowls or her box for the crickets. I will do my best to take good care of Vera, even though David says we should just trade her in for a male. I figure this is a learning experience of taking care of an animal I have never had b4, other then knowing that I have love for my pets or babies. I wouldn't want to give up on them that easily.

David is going to plan on bidding out really soon, he may consider going to the plant to get away from Shiela until he gets the bid that he really wants. In the meantime, I'll be looking out for a decent bid as well while I am still currently waiting to convert crafts.

[keefiswhoiam]

May 28 - 2024 Tuesday

10:23pm

5.5/10

This morning I took care of the dogs and showered like usual. I was a bit quicker than usual so that was nice. For breakfast I made Dinty Moore beef stew with some pasta in it. I actually got to take my time and eat it which I don't usually do. Then I had a cookie with my coffee and starting streaming.

I warmed up with a couple of Monster High doll studies and some normal human gestures. I only streamed for an hour since I had planned to move Sporticus's kennel into the fireplace and rearrange my bed. I mostly did commission sketches and worked on a YCH.

Afterwards I had to clean out the fireplace area which meant trying to scrub soot off the walls. Somehow I tore off the first layer of skin on the side of my finger which got tons of ash in it and then I decided I should be wearing gloves. I did improve the fireplace but it's still charred blank in some places in a way I cant just brush off. I got it clean enough to put her in there. Then I started putting all my bed stuff in the laundry to wash throughout the day.

I had planned a sort of meetup with TK a few days ago so we got in VRchat and hung out in this public Minecraft world the whole time. WX joined too. We talked about religion and kids and parents and a bunch of different stuff. I switched to desktop to make lunch while I hung out with everyone.

I started working in VRchat and did today's request which included mild gore, I kept it private. Then I tried working on this Opaline idea from fan idea requests and I barely made any progress like the last 3 weeks. Its getting very frustrating because I don't know why I cant get such a simple pose right. It didn't help I was mentally drained and had a headache. I decided to give up for the day.

I made the minor mistake of taking a tiny hit so I could take some time to enjoy myself. Or maybe it wasn't a mistake, I only consider it one because my loose rules tell me I shouldn't be smoking at all on weekdays. My self enjoyment time was okay but it started getting windy and thundering towards the end of it. It passed by quickly and then I started playing Roblox Toilet Tower Defense until DS was free.

She worked on her fursuit and I played Roblox for awhile. We watched a couple furry con vlogs and took a long look at old IKEA catalogues while reminiscing about furniture. She told me of a liminal place she remembers vividly relating to the IKEA play area from her childhood and I was very interesting in maybe turning it into a VRchat world with some cooperation. In bed we did our puzzles and I played a little Kerbal. It started thundering a lot after she went to sleep and I kept getting startled so I put on my earmuffs. While taking the dogs out, I stood atop the rock in the yard and was watching the lightning. It was very scary for me to do at first but I got used to it pretty quick. Then I started putting my bed together in it's new position but the blanket I use as my sheets had a big damp spot I missed so I have my fun blowing under it right now. It should be dry so I'm going to finish the job and go to bed.

[aphroditesmoon]

Could you write Xavier X FemReader in which the reader is Wednesday’s family member (sister, cousin, etc) and her and Xavier we starting to get close then all of a sudden her starts acting cold/rude so she thinks she did something wrong and he hates her when in reality Xavier has started being mean is because he’s been in love with her since he saw her but she’s been getting really close with Tyler so she confronts him and he does an angry love confession????

it's you I think of

xavier thorpe x reader

summary: xavier tries to win the heart of the other addams sister, but she just doesn't seem to get the message.

warnings: bit angst but mostly fluff

A/N: Thanks for requesting anon! hope you like this!

°°°

"So, is your name based on weekdays too or?" The long haired boy started as he stands beside you, observing your position as you shoot your arrow and misses again.

You sigh and he steps closer with your back to his chest as he guides your hand with the arrow. "Here, like this."

You feel your heart speeds up but says nothing as you watch him take the lead and hits the arrow straight to the aim.

He slowly steps aside and smiles at you. You give a small smile and gives him your name.

He fakes gasp, "Oh she speaks?" When you roll your eyes and drop your smile he immediately makes it clear he was just joking.

"I know, I'm not easily offended, there's been worse things said to me." You state, picking up another arrow to practice.

"So, do I have to assume you are as terrifying as your sister?" He asks with a teasing grin.

"Oh no, I'm afraid she has already claimed the title of homicidal psychopath in our family, truly the pride and joy of the Addams name. As for me, You'll learn soon enough." You explain, this time your arrow hits straight to the aim, You lower your bow in pride.

"So you mean to say we might end up close enough for me to learn about you myself?"

he had too many questions.

You shook your head and thank him for his lessons before walking away to your dorm room.

°°°

Despite being roommates with Yoko, she has not made a single effort to befriend you, as glad as you are for the peace, you could tell it's because of the growing closeness between you and Xavier, the girls were ignoring you in solidarity to Bianca.

You were thankful for that.

It wasn't that you asked Xavier to befriend you, but he was persistent in knowing you, and he seems to respect your boundaries enough to not push you or cross the line, so you accepted his friendship, it was nice to share the quietness with someone else sometimes.

He has even let you sit in the corner of his shed to watch him paint and sketch.

That was probably your favourite activity these days, the comfortable silence and watching him fully concentrate on his artworks.

Today was one of the days you'd get to watch him work, he had sat beside someone else during their classes together that afternoon, but you assumed their routine still remained.

Walking towards the shed, you notice chains around the handles of the door. It was definitely locked as you try to pull it off.

This was confusing, if he wasn't coming today then why wouldn't he tell you?

Bumping into Bianca as you're walking back to your dorm, you gave it a chance and asked her if she knew where Xavier was.

Her scoff and smile was mocking. "Aw, did he finally decide drop your deadweight of an ass?"

You raise your eyebrows at her challenged.

"That's weird, last time I checked, it was you that got dumped." Indulging in her baffled expression, You walk past her to continue looking for your friend.

He wasn't in the library or any of the classes. The last place there was to check was his room, a place you don't think you're allowed to.

°°°

The next day was busy as everyone prepared for the rave'n dance. You weren't much of a partier, but you had hoped to ask a certain someone, so you made an effort to search for a decent enough dress.

You snatched the first dress that caught your attention, not liking the whole experience you had force yourself to go through. It was emerald coloured dress, giving in to the assigned flora and fauna theme this year.

Stepping into the local coffee shop, you were met with Tyler as he prepared you your usual.

"You look burnt out, went hiking or something?" He questions.

You chuckled. "Dress shopping." He raises his eyebrows and grin.

"Oh you're going to Rave'n then? Didn't seem like the type that would, got a date?"

Your smile slowly drops as you shook your head.

He nods understanding. "Well, I mean, if you're looking for one, I'm always free this Saturday." He winks and you bite your cheeks.

His attention snaps to the door as the bell rings.

and a customer enter. You turn around and widen your eyes in suprise to see Xavier.

His too as he takes your appearance in.

He walks closer, turning to look at Tyler, then back at you.

Tyler uncomfortably backs away from leaning at the counter to you and clears his throat.

"Uh, want a coffee?" He asks Xavier slowly.

He nods carefully, before taking a seat next to you, watching Tyler move to the espresso machine.

"Didn't know you two are friends." He starts.

You let out an annoyed laugh and glares at him.

"Really?" He blinks, not understanding what you mean.

"You don't answer my texts, didn't tell me you weren't going to be at the shed, and now you're talking to me like you haven't been ignoring me?" You snapped.

"Wha- I've been busy, I forgot-"

"You've been busy, you forgot, which one is it?" You Interrogate.

"Both! Look, I'm sorry alright, I should've let you know, I forgot." He explains as Tyler brings you both your coffee.

Xavier's eyes wanders to the paperbag in your hand. "Is that a dress? You're going to the rave'n?" He asks suspiciously.

"Why shouldn't I?" You ask defensively.

"I didn't say you shouldn't, I just- I mean, do you have a date?"

You instinctively nodded. "I'm... going with Tyler! Right, Tyler?" You immediately turn to him, silently begging him to agree.

Tyler, playing along, nods and confirms.

Xavier's expression changed, and the guilt in his eyes turns blank as he processes what you said.

"Oh." Disappointment laced his voice for some reason. He snatch his coffee and stand to leave. "I'll uh, see you later then." He says briefly before leaving.

you feel the pit of your stomach churn as you thank Tyler.

°°°

The Rave'n dance was unspeakably boring. You'd rather be in your room and read with Chopin playing in the background.

Instead you're stuck here awkwardly eating your cake with Tyler by your side.

You spot Xavier by Bianca's side as they walk in together, his eyes meet yours and the betrayal you feel was deep. He had gone back to her.

You excuse yourself to the bathroom, feeling Xavier's gaze burning through your back as you walk away.

You pull back tears and touched up your lipstick after repeating the breathing exercise Kinbott has taught you.

Feeling less upset and more out together aftet successfully preventing a breakdown, you walk out towards your date.

Only to find him on the dancefloor with your sister, Wednesday.

Of course, he had only asked you to get close to her. No one ever wanted you for you.

You were glad you didn't really like him and disappointedlu went to grab a drink. You scan the room and notice Bianca dancing with Yoko, It was then that you notice Xavier wasn't anywhere to be seen. You frown and walked out while no one notice. The idea of knocking on his door was halted as you remember you weren't allowed there, If you were caught, it wasn't the punishment you were scared of but rather the embarrassment.

There was only one option left.

°°°

Climbing through windows and walls, you pull out a small screwdriver, unlocking the window next to his bedside, before pushing it open and jumping in.

As your feet lands on his bed, you hear him yelp and swear loudly. There he was in all his glory, in front of the bathroom door.

"[name]?!, What the fuck? Did you seriously just climbed through my window-"

"You weren't at the shed today, and you stopped sitting next to me in class. In fact if I'm remembering it right, you didn't even want me in the shed with you last week too." He turns quiet, eyes not meeting yours.

"You're avoiding me, why?" You ask, making him scoff and turn away from you as he walks towards Rowan's old bed.

You walk to him, pulling him by his hands to look at you.

"Did I do something? Have I offend you?" You go straight to the point.

He frowns. "Offend me? God are you clueless or something."

Saying that you were confused would be an understatement.

"Let's say that I am, spell it out for me then."

He shook his head and pushed your hand away. "I'm not- I'm not offended, okay? Just leave, okay? Go back to your date, and not by the windo-"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." You insist and he sighs.

you two stood like that for a few seconds, refusing to grant eachother's request.

You broke the silence first, unable to take it anymore.

"Xavier, you are my first friend ever, besides my old pet tarantula spider that was accidental killed in our washing machine." He makes a face of disgust.

"I- What I mean is, If I had done anything to hurt you, it was probably accidental, I am not the best when it comes to making friends, let alone, keeping then." You notice his body relaxing as his gaze softens.

"I would understand if you no longer want to associate with me, but I would be very grateful if you could tell me why." You pleaded, heart breaking.

You didn't think you could ever feel this upset.

People had always assumed you were as heartless as your sister, given your awkward and introverted personality.

But the truth was you used your antisocial personality as a wall againts human interaction because you were sensitive. Your heart was the opposite of Wednesday's.

Xavier sighs and closes his eyes briefly before looking at you firmly.

"You didn't offend me, well- not really, it's just-"

"Its- I avoided you, because I thought you didn't feel the same way I did." His confession did not clear anything up for you.

You scrunch your face confused.

"Feel? Feel what?"

His lips became a thin line as he rolls his eyes.

"[name], I like you"

"I like you too, I just told you that-

"No, I-" He sighs loudly again.

"I like you, more than a friend, should. And I thought I've been dropping multiple hints since we met but it seems you've gotten none of them, I thought you just weren't interested in me like that, or else you would've seen them, wouldn't you?"

Your eyes widen as understanding fills you.

The brief silence scared him as he tells you to forget about it and leave.

"Wha- No, no Xavier, I do like you." You immediately tells him before you could stop yourself.

He freezes and his yes scan you for any lies or deceit.

"Right, and you're definitely not saying this because I'm your only friend and you feel bad."

You shook your head but he still looks unconvinced.

"You went out with Tyler. Fucking Tyler. How does anything you do backs up what you're saying?" Tyler's name sounds like a curse coming from his tongue, And you have to admit, it makes you like him more.

"It does make sense what you're saying, but if Im only saying this because I'm lonely, would I do this?" You challenge him.

"Do what?" He asks, eyebrows furrowed.

You answer him by pulling him down by his vest and meeting your lips with his.

Automatically he reciprocates it and his arms move to wrap around your waist.

You smile againts his mouth and you feel him copy it.

Breaking the kiss to catch a breath, he grins at you, all his sulking seemingly gone.

"So just to be clear, you're not doing this because you feel bad or anything right? I don't know, maybe you should convince me again, just to be sure."

Your face breaks into a smile as you grant his wish.

[copperbadge]

I had a very successful and entertaining day today, as you guys can probably tell from the posts I made. There's a few more queued posts of stuff I didn't get to post in-situ, so enjoy that!

Some anecdotes I did not post about from today:

-- I can't remember the last time I queued for a museum. Mostly because if it's not one of "my" museums, like the Field or the Art Institute where I know the best ways in, I'm attending on a weekday deliberately so that I am not amongst the crowds. The line to get into the British Museum was a full block long, but to be fair it only took me ten minutes from opening to get inside. I was mostly amused by the people who a) didn't understand how museum entry works or b) didn't understand how to stand in a line without also blocking foot traffic on the rest of the sidewalk.

-- Almost got in a fight with someone, a definite first for me in a museum. I got salty with a guy who touched a sculpture when he knew he shouldn't, and he got up in my face, and I think genuinely the fact that I knew what the sculpture was called and he didn't confused him so badly he backed down. So if you're looking to defuse a situation via confusion, the phrase "Hey, don't fucking touch the Lamassu and we won't have a problem" worked for me.

-- The British Museum is great but among other issues (looted objects, weird relics of museum-specific imperialism, etc) it does suffer from poor display design in places. I'm okay with that, I kind of like old museums that are a little fucked up, even as I acknowledge that old fucked-up museums also have old fucked-up messaging. They appear to be trying on that front, but they could use a display placard overhaul. At one point I found an object in a case that appeared to be a carved human leg bone, and while I'm not a Bone Specialist there was also absolutely no placard about the bone at all. (I looked it up in the collection later using other objects in the case as reference, and it's just noted as "bone".)

-- I did have a great time overall; I saw most of the museum and then had a fancy meal, as documented. I was especially pleased to get to sample their coronation chicken since I collect tastings of coronation chicken, and I think they either used molasses in it or the bread had some, and either way it's grist for my mill as I start to develop The Chicken Salad War. After lunch I went on the hunt for a few last things, but I could feel myself getting tired and Becoming Unmedicated so I decided to leave a little early, which was the right choice, and gave me a little time to do some exploring.

-- @neil-gaiman did a post a while ago about stuff to see in London which I saved, and while I mostly planned my own journey, I did stop at Atlantis Books on his recommendation, which was well worth it. The woman working the till left me alone until I was ready to buy my book, then praised my choice (always a good move) and made a few minutes' small talk about my visit from America while she was ringing me up. Also I have never seen such a variety of Tarot decks for sale in my life. It was extremely impressive given the entire shop is roughly the size of my bedroom in Chicago.

All in all an excellent day out in London. Tomorrow I'm traveling to meet up with a friend, so probably fewer photos, but day after tomorrow I'm bound for Amsterdam so expect Rijksmuseum photos! I did not get into the Vermeer exhibit sadly, but I still want to see the museum and I'm on a quest for freshly made stroopwaffels and authentic gjetost, so I'm excited for the journey. I thought this trip might be one small anxiety after another -- would I be okay on the plane, would I get on the right trains, etc -- but I'm feeling more confident now, and I think between my early-bird tendencies and the ADHD meds I kicked the jet lag pretty quickly. I'm off to bed in a few, because tomorrow is an early day, so I guess we'll find out then how much I really kicked it....