#mostly in the context of my dad
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i think this will be the only post i make on the wilbur situation. but i cant tell whether it's some sort of maturity on my part, or simply fatigue but
who cares
idk at this point im just. so fed up with stuff. i dont wanna hear apologies, explanations, or condemnations from wilbur, or from a 1000 of his friends or casual acquaintances. i hope he realises how fucked up what he did was and all i just... dont feel like i need to be there watching him do it. instead im just gonna watch the new smp shelbys on, and like. live
#idk i think this might be my daddy issues speaking#ive been thinking about abuse a lot lately#mostly in the context of my dad#as stated two tags beforehand lol#im just. tired. of both how much abuse there is in the world but also just.. idk how to explain it without sounding like im defending ppl#but i think im also tired of hating abusers#even if earned this vitriol is just.... exhausting to me#idk. stream sos smp#idk which povs im gonna watch yet bc most ppl on it are fire but there are only so many hours in the day ykno#block talk#mcyt
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The look. The. Look.
#i don't remember much of my experience watching sofis the first as a kid#i mostly remember the pilot and the lizard scene from cedric’s apprentice and of course my favourite episode as a kid: the floating palace#i initially assumed i never watched past that but then i saw this scene and was like wait this wasn't a false memory?#i didn’t remember the context of the scene and thought it would be something to do with his redemption but it never appeared#so i thought i made it up#but nope!#anyways about this scene i am just thinking way too much about the way he looks at that amulet#every now and then i look up this scene on youtube because i love it so much actually#wanted to keep it on my blog here too because i love it so much#okay nuff yapping goodnight#actually nvm i stayed up too late and it's 6am now#my dad will have my hide if i sleep now and wake up late#sofia the first#cedric the sorcerer#forever royal#princess sofia#cedric and sofia#gifs#not cedfia
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I beat borderlands 3 today. Had a great time, honestly don't get why people made such a big deal over the writing. It was definitely weaker than 2, but it was perfectly serviceable. The villains were pretty fun, sort of obnoxious, but that was clearly the intent. The siren kid was also kind of obnoxious, but all 12 year olds tend to be obnoxious sometimes, so I give her a pass.
The gameplay fucking rocked, huge fan of how this one handled. Everything felt natural and kinetic and shit. Really good gunplay. Hell, really good guns just in general. They got weirder with it this time around, which is a good thing in my eyes. Secondary fire modes were super fun. I played Moze, because if you put a mecha pilot girl in front of me I'm gonna play as her. Had a good time with the robot customization, she's a fun character.
Probably gonna move on to Tiny Tina's Wonderlands after playing the wedding and western DLCs, but I'm defo gonna come back to BL3 later on, it's just very fun.
#and when i say the writing was fine i mostly mean that in context of the plot#some of the dialogue and side quests were less than stellar#and they completely mischaracterized vaughn which is annoying because i liked him a lot in tales#but anyway im for sure gonna play more of this one. already have a second playthrough going with my dad when he has free time#borderlands
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Some people are allergic to nuance in fiction and insist on making that my problem by being very confidently wrong in public
#reading takes that make my eye twitch tonight#to be clear this is mostly a joke#but some of you are very confidently wrong in public#anyone who seriously poses the idea that Batman is a bad dad because his kids are vigilantes#I demand you learn what suspension of disbelief is this instant#and also look at the context of the events#there is a crocodile man that eats people living in the sewers of Gotham#children putting on a mask and fighting crime is not that unrealistic#and unless you’re keeping that same energy for EVERY child hero like kid flash any of the wonder girls or super boys#you’re using a straw man argument because you don’t like the fact that comic canon is extremely subjective#and to claim that you’re interpretation of this character based off of the runs that you personally consider canon#is the only correct way to view a character that has been present in the cultural zeitgeist of comics since the 1930’s#and had about a hundred different runs to draw inspiration from#and also all the people reading my fic who keep leaving character hate in my comments
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the old woman at the bar i regular said she likes talking to me :) because she doesn’t have to explain things to me :)))))))) I LOVE HER!!!
#to be clear#when we chat it’s mostly with her her husband and my dad#and she DEFINITELY has to explain things to them cufncjfnhc#also for context#she mentioned colase and i know what that is so i nodded my head#and she was like OUGH. I LOVE YOU#little does she know i only know what colase is because of girl interrupted :)#doesn’t matter though#also i see her all the time and today my dad his friend and i helped bring a recliner to their house#because her husband is also getting shoulder surgery :)#and my dad got a recliner so he could sleep with his healing shoulder :)#i love community. i love san francisco. i love old people and old couples.#also would like to specify YES i regular it. but i also clean it
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Just realized I forgot to post these
#keese draws#oc art#oc#ocs#these guys are from the same story as the grape twins btw#root beer is their cousin and one of the four main characters#dragons beard is merlot's boyfriend and fellow antagonist#and lemon taffy is the older sibling of one of the other main characters who spends most of the story 'kidnapped'#and by kidnapped I mean the super villain polycule asked them if they could help them with some tests and they went 👍#important context! lemon taffy (and their two siblings) are the kids of three superheroes and merlot and fox grape are the kids of four#supervillains both of which are mostly absent for the main story (although the supervillains at least get to be more of side characters)#the heroes are off in space dealing with alien political drama that doesn't matter to the main plot#the two groups have a fairly casual rivalry but they still have genuine beef#merlot and fox grape were left home alone after their parents set out to work on some big project and merlot took the chance to go fuck#off and get a boyfriend to do crime with leaving fox grape desperately trying to find them and get them to come back home#and for the other side root beer was roped into helping rescue lemon taffy by their two younger siblings pop rock and jelly bean#he and pop rock are the main duo on that side with jelly bean being their guy in the chair#merlot and dragons beard are mostly antagonists to those three with fox grape and the other main guy cayenne pepper chasing after them#cayenne is dragon beards childhood friend and I have never drawn him before despite adoring him 😔#hes such a piece of shit I love him#in my old original concepts for him he was going to be an incel but then my brain went but what if. aro. and I instantly hard committed#hes a bitchy asshole who's made all the more annoying by the fact that his anxieties are low key completely justified#hes a sad wet cat abandoned in a cardboard box all alone 😔#oh yeah also worth noting that root beer is a vampire who has a strained relationship with his adoptive dads#oh and dragons beard's parents are a dragon and a royal fae so he has a lot of power that he doesnt know how to use lol#lemon taffy is like. sort of part dragon in a very distant way? their grandma was a failed revival of an old god who was a dragon who made#their dad out of her own magic which included that same magic from the dragon god who was basically made of magic#so he was also sort of part dragon but not really? idk its complicated#merlot and fox grape are miraculously not part dragon somehow despite my track record of making too many ppl dragons in this world#they are however vampires and also directly decend from a god so thats fun
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2019 being half a decade ago is fucking me up. That year was wild as hell and yet somehow managed to be the most recent "normal" year we've had
#i don't even remember most of that year tbh i just know it was wild from context clues in my memory lol#my memory from 2019-beginning of 2022 is mostly wiped from seizures#i know i was in a week long relationship after breaking up with D for a while#and that I had my first seizure while with that dude and broke up w him because his friends accused me of faking my first seizure#and he gave me trich#and then I got unlawfully arrested in november#that's all i remember from 2019. literally.#2020 pandemic my dad died i moved out of my friends apartment. that's it#2021 i moved into my apartment got my cats dyed my hair. that's it#.bdo
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Weird story from work today! Apparently contractors called my boss and complained about a very specific untrue thing
Today at work I got a call from my boss. “Hey TJ,” she said “you’re not in trouble, but I’ve been getting some feedback from some of the contractors you work with, and I want to run it by you. They said you never answer your phone and are only available by email or text.” I said “That’s weird. I’ve been on the phone with contractors pretty much constantly today. I do tell the contractors that if I don’t answer a call, it’s probably because I am on another call, and if they text or email me their question I might be able to answer while I am on the other call” “I thought it was something like that. There’s always someone who will call twenty times a day, and you answer the first nineteen, then he’ll call your boss when you don’t answer the twentieth call of the day.” She said, and we both kind of chuckled. “Also, I heard from one of the contractors that you told them never to call you” “What?” “They said you told them you couldn’t answer calls because it would disturb your new baby. You don’t have a new baby, right?” “Not that I know of?????” “Yeah, I thought you would have announced it” Easily one of the most bizarre phone calls of my professional life, but my boss was nice about it!
#the person behind the yarn#tj talks about work#idk what else to tag this as??? weird work story?#contractors assuming weird things about my personal life???#my boss was SUPER nice about it though. after she'd gone over the feedback with me#she said I was doing a great job and asked for any feedback I had about the new contractors our company has been working with#had another long weird work story happen#but cutting it way short: someone accused me of screaming at them when they had in fact been screaming at me#and my boss said 'have you MET tj? I don't think she's ever yelled at someone in her life. I don't think she could!'#and initially I was like hey I could yell at people if I want to! and then I thought about it and I think she might be right?????#idk if I've ever actually yelled at someone?? I have occasional used the slightly raised parental voice#mostly in a DON'T EAT THAT kind of context with toddlers#but that's not yelling it's just firm. if you yell you panic and if you panic with toddlers they panic#or they laugh at you. could go either way#anyway got sidetracked point is: told my dad#and he said 'I'm proud of all my grandchildren. Even the fictional ones'
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me and like three other ppl on ao3 singlehandedly trying to make jimmy pesto into a good father despite all canon evidence
#listen. my wife (jimmy pesto) is a bitch and i love him so much#u may have noticed i find it very difficult to write straight up irredeemable characters or antagonists#all my ocs are morally indifferent to straight up Awful people and i forgive them anyway#and im supposed to be judging jimmy pesto for being a bit of a dick?? closest would probably be zeke's dad in my one fic#but i dont think he's like an iredeemable monster. in my head there is some context for his behaviour mostly based on my own parents lmao#not that it ever comes up bcuz we arent seeing it from his perspective. he isnt exactly trying to redeem himself either#txt#bob's burgers
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does it ever take you by surprise what a small world it is
#for context my bestie told me like three weeks ago that she met this guy that seemed to be into her#she met him while visiting her dad who lives on the whole other side of town like 45 minutes away#then today a friend I’ve only met a few times and have mostly just texted a bit puts me in a group chat#with like friend of hers from various parts of town#who she wants to help her on a project#AND THE GUY IS IN THE GROUP#I didn’t even realize there was a boy in the group until we had to do a group video call and I’m like “A BOY?? 🫨 AN INTRUDER?”#and then he introduces himself and I recognize the name and I ask what part of town everyone is from#AND IT’S HIM#BRO?????#this is a guy I encouraged her to give a chance to and she was like nahhhhh#like. I teased her about him#and then I freakin meet him by a totally different mutual friend#insanity#elly's posts
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I need to talk about Hopkins more on here, especially at 2 a.m.
#hi Geeky i have questions about the dream tapestries. mostly about visuals. i know we're not even at that part yet. but still#unrelated to that. OUGH. HIM.#MY BABY BOYYYYYYY#i feel like i really struggle with keeping a serious tone when roleplaying as him. hes a character that i think about very seriously-#-but idk. i feel like i have a hard time improvising serious reactions to things on the spot. im just making it a part of his character now-#-that when things get too serious he needs to do something a little funny to cope with all the stress he has to go through#and i do think thats in character. i think his parents and the other people in his life that helped raise him all kind of do this.#they certainly try to make eachother laugh#for a little context: in the session this morning Hopkins was trapped in a nightmare where he was being chased by shadow dogs.#later he blew up the shadow dogs with a stick of dynamite he's had in his pocket for like 30 sessions#it was very cathartic for him. to fight the thing hes been afraid of#especially after his ''dad'' dropped him off a cliff#this kid. needs therapy
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I keep forgetting that my voice now has me reading as a cis gay guy most of the time. It throws me off a lot
#went to the beach today and a kid waved at me so i waved back and his dad like#picked him up and glared at me and told him not to talk to strangers#like damn I Am Just Swimming#and my sister just went Yeah it's bc you sound gay#which literally just did not occur to me i was like what about my wave screams predator...#idk I'm very used to ppl thinking im butch or idk a Blue Hair Pronoun User and it's mostly cis women who take issue with that#men too but that's more so targeted directly at me than seeing me as a predator to themselves and others#i did still have ppl think i was a cis gay guy pre-T like idk 20% of the time but now it's the default and it's a weird adjustment#Wish I could think about how I'm being perceived outside of the context of avoiding hate crimes. Whatever
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i'm going to my cousin's bday party tomorrow which is fun and great except that my mom is also going to be there. we don't talk. she literally skipped my other cousin's graduation party just bc i was there.
#for context shes a huge transphobe who wants nothing to do with me and thinks im soiling her good name just by existing#so. im not v excited about that.#but it's something i can handle and i have support around me!#what i however cannot handle are regular mom things. ive gained a lot of weight since i last saw her and#i cannot handle it if she comments on it im so stressed out about it bc she knows just what to say to hurt me#i got chubby after starting t and i think it suits me. especially if i start hitting the gym or something so i'll also have some strength#like im not looking to lose weight im looking to have a dad bod by my 30s#with my soft round features and curly hair i already look like a hobbit so i just need to get a little bit of muscle to complete the look#bc those bitches work outside i know how theyre built#i however cannot achieve that with just my office job so yknow#im mostly just saying this to motivate myself to excercise bc i know it makes me feel good but actually getting around to doing it is hard#also i would love to stop being weak#i just want to be able to lift heavier things#like. it's unhealthy how little i do rn and i dont feel good about it but school has been sucking the life out of me#so i dont have the energy to do things that will increase my mental wellbeing which. not ideal.#agh now that my thesis is done i might finally get around to doing stuff#after a while once my brain and body registers that i'm literally fine#anyways. im nervous about tomorrow.#but it's fine i'll get to catch up with the nice relatives too#leevi talks
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beloved you were my prev tags on the height poll but i am merely 5’4”
XD perhaps my perception was skewed due to being one of the shortest adults in my family lol
#Struggles XD#eta#for context my dad is like 6'3 and my Brother and Cousin are like 6'5#While you are shorter than me I don't think you're short! I'm pretty sure 5'4 is the average height for my sex(F) in the US#Thank you for the Ask lol#I also don't know the heights of other members of my family but they are mostly taller than me XD#I say US bc that's where I'm from#I know you might not be tho!
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Sorry for still not posting. Things are still a bit complicated and rough in my personal life.
xx
#post#update#sort of#delete later#Im still here#just lurking and relogging mostly#I do want to write but my brain wont really let me#i guess for some context: my dad and mom were sick and in and out hospitals since january this year#my dad ended up on hospice and died two weeks later (on Feb 28th)#my mom came home but her health is not well either#I have been her caretaker for over 5 years#its getting to the point where she might end up on hospice too#she might be in End Stage COPD#she goes through phases of being perfectly fine#to needing to be watched and taken care of 24/7#so its been rough#dl#personal#I am also dealing with probate and estate stuff with my dads death#we are tight on money and stressed#and there is also a brother who is deciding to make my life hell#so yeah...#things are rough#bare with me#lol#i'll be back eventually I just hope you guys are still here#<3
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kokeshi doll but of arakawa durin his theater days......... do we know what i mean.......
#snap chats#i looove kokeshi dolls so much... my dad bought me one during a trip toooo#new york ? i think ? maybe it was philadelphia.... some east-coast city like that#i cant remember i just know we were walking around and we passed by this little japanese stand#and my dad bought me a kokeshi doll and i loved it so much..#it was mostly beige with white hair and was decorated with red flowers and had a sort of rigged body#i remember i kept the box too and i put this old metal and ceramic hair pin in there#but i those at my dad's one day so now it's lost to storage since he moved a lot. amongst a bunch of my other stuff LMAO#i should prob ask about that someday... but anyway let me continue this post...#but yeah anyway.... for context... kokeshi dolls are As They Sound little wooden dolls#they're typically designed with the influence of the artist's hometown in mind but they can also be based off of celebrities#so... legally... arakawa could have been a candidate to have a kokeshi doll... in my opinion...#at the very least maybe there was a big ol fan of his out there that felt like making a doll or somethin#i just know i miss my doll.. now all i have is my kokeshi tea set. its cute tho so im not mad#speaking of tea i drank two tea bowl's worth of matcha to hopefully keep me awake so i could work#but i feel laggard but Not Sleepy so i cant really muster up the direction to work on comms.. oops..#im gonna try tho lemme end this post bye
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