#mostly from crispins side

[caramelcuniculus]

❛  time's up.  ❜ - Drayton to Crispin

At first, all Crispin did was stare dumbfounded at the towering Drayton. Time's up… now what did he mean by that? It wouldn't be anything cooking or assignment related; if anything Crispin was best at time management. Did he sign up for something he forgot about? Huh? Hazel eyes continued blinking; despite being in the unknown, those eyes of Drayton's didn't shine positively. And that was when his emotions started to sink in.

"Drayton? You can't say somethin' so vague like that." They were trying to assert themself, putting their foot down in the dragon trainer's presence. That, however, wasn't working out for the young chef. Crispin's hazel eyes wavered and dilated; their throat gulped. It wasn't the greatest display, and despite Crispin's complicated feelings regarding Drayton, it didn't change the fact that they were the underclassman. Stupid Blueberry Academy grade level system!!

"Are we playing a game? Are you pulling a prank? 'Cause I assure you this isn't fun nor funny." Maybe he was stressing over nothing, but if it's Drayton involved, the possibilities really could be endless.

[christian-oc-tournament]

OC Propaganda: Subject: Crispin O'Callner

Is highly knowledgeable about fae and things that go bump in the night. It's not exactly his specialization as a private investigator, but considering most people still write that stuff off or are afraid of it or automatically think it's evil, he does end up handling a number of cases in that line--including fae coming to him to get help with dealing with humans.

He has fae blood, but it's several generations back and doesn't do much besides give him extra Aesthetic (heterochromia, slightly pointy ears, extra pointy teeth). It does, however, give him "truesight." Essentially this makes him harder to fool either by lying (fae are very attuned to the truth) or by illusions/magic (fae can recognize their own kind).

Anyway, for one of the cases Dae semi-forces him to read a book that is Not Correct about the fae, and it causes him agonies untold (there is something in there that he does need to know about, though...). The following snippet is from that scene (the dragonfly charm is a kind of "good luck charm" that mostly serves a fidget/way to ground himself):

Crispin found himself rubbing the dragonfly charm a lot over the next hour. It was hard to get him to hate a book, but it seemed like these authors had found a way: fill the book with misinformation and defamation stated confidently, and with blanket bad-faith assumptions towards people and situations they misunderstood. It wasn't evil so much as idiotic without understanding, and that was somehow worse. It felt like mocking when Dae contentedly curled up in his lap, after making sure he was properly reading. Upon tentative investigation, however, she did not seem to mind being petted, and, though her fur was a bit wiry, it wasn't unpleasant. After a while of slogging through the inane and inaccurate drivel, it was somewhat relaxing--soothing, even--to be able to roughly stroke her fur and think about other things.  Though, her also being a fae, Crispin was tempted to blame Dae for the book. When Julia and Ms. Hallifax finally made it back, he felt like throwing a party. Instead, he curbed his impulse to start ranting at them about his sufferings, and with a calm he found himself proud of asked them how their mission went. 

Bonus illustration: (he's on the other side of the chair)

.

[drakaripykiros130ac]

Can you comment and give your opinion on this post? I find it nonsense

https://www.tumblr.com/starlight-and-thunder/732982971613741056/about-sir-criston-in-house-of-the-dragon

Hi! I have made a thorough analysis of the night Rhaenyra slept with Crispin. The link is right here:

https://www.tumblr.com/drakaripykiros130ac/733879360535281664/green-stans-rhaenyra-used-criston-and-coerced

It basically explains how Rhaenyra absolutely did NOT coerce Crispin to sleep with her, and how a kingsguard took advantage of the princess he was sworn to protect in order to satisfy his sexual desires.

I have read the post you mentioned and it is absolute nonsense, just as you say. Most of what is said in it has already been contradicted by me in my own analysis.

Long story short: Crispin became the sworn shield to a princess of only 14 in the show, and 8 in the books. In the show, you can clearly see his attraction towards her since the moment he first saw her. He was practically undressing her with his eyes.

He had been a constant in her life for years and years (unlike Daemon, who was mostly gone from Court). Rhaenyra basically grew up with Crispin at her side (and Harwin too).

And the night Rhaenyra returned from the brothel, she was drunk and upset. He insisted on getting in her business, as he always does, and ended up playing “catch the helmet” with her in her own bedroom. Was it really that necessary for him to continue playing and take that helmet back, when he clearly saw the state she was in?

No. He chose to stay. And when she kissed him, his mouth said “no” but his body was screaming “YES”. He didn’t walk out that door as he was supposed to. No one held a gun to his head. On the contrary, he was enjoying himself when kissing her, and then he is even seen smiling. It’s obvious what was in his mind at that moment: “Yay! I finally get to sleep with the princess!”

And to even suggest that Rhaenyra would do something to get him in trouble, tortured or killed is beyond bullshit. When has Rhaenyra ever displayed this kind of viciousness or cunningness in her youth? When has the Realm’s Delight done harm to a close friend? Because I remind you that she considered Crispin a close friend at that time. She would have NEVER done anything to harm him. If he had walked out that door and not taken advantage of her, she wouldn’t have said anything (she would have probably been too ashamed herself to even mention the night ever again). Just as she said nothing after they did the deed.

After Crispin betrayed her and practically became her “enemy” out of pettiness, did Rhaenyra say something about that night? No, she didn’t. She could have. She could have gotten Crispin fired at least or had his head chopped off and there was nothing that Alicent or the Hightowers could have done about it. She could have gone to her father and the Council and accused him of having r*ped her out of revenge for how he started treating her, as well as her sons. Rhaenyra was the Crown Princess and he was a kingsguard who was already on thin line for having murdered someone at her own wedding without facing any consequences. I doubt that Viserys or the Council would have disregarded her accusations. Lord Commander Westerling would have surely believed her, and would have told Crispin to remove his cloak. Alicent would not have been able to protect him. Rhaenyra could have been rid of him for good.

But did she do that? No. And that’s pretty honorable of her if you ask me. I am certain other women wouldn’t have wasted the opportunity to ruin someone like him if they could.

And what was it that Alicent herself said in the book? It was something like “Who protects the princess from Ser Criston Cole?”

If Alicent herself ends up saying that, Crispin’s intentions towards the young princess are rather obvious. His desire for the princess, both in the show and in the book obviously meant more to him than those vows he took or the white cloak. He is no honorable knight. And then he had the nerve to blame her for his own vice, and practically demand her hand in marriage just so he wouldn’t feel guilty for what he willingly did. After she rejected him, he turned into a spurned lover and did everything in his power to ruin her life simply because he hated her. This man should have never been allowed to wear that white cloak. He is an embarrassment.

To even suggest that Rhaenyra is to blame for what happened that night between her and a man sworn to protect her is just preposterous.

[beevean]

The more I read of your analysis on the main timeline of Castlevania, the more I'm thinking that Gabriel isn't a counterpart to any of the Belmonts or to Dracula. I'm starting to feel like he's a counterpart to Hector and Marie is a counterpart to Rosely. Especially because Marie and Gabriel's relationship is so similar to Hector and Rosely's, while Inner Dracul (the Entity that possesses the castle) and Gabriel have a similar relationship as Hector and Dracula. I need to do more information gathering on it, but I thought it was an interesting parallel.

You may be onto something!

Hector is written to be a foil to Dracula, similar to Alucard himself but not quite in the same way. Hector has been hurt and rejected by humans, and he fled to live in Dracula's castle, but he never wished to harm them. So, when he was forced to, he was appalled, and chose to flee risking death.

Dracula: Why did you betray me? Hector: Why did you unleash your hatred upon the humans? When you began slaughtering them indiscriminately, I had no choice but to disobey you. Dracula: You side against me... for the sake of humans? (angrily) Humans are not worth the air they breathe. I was simply cleansing the world. Hector: It is not your place to judge the worth of humans. Dracula: The powerful always judge the weak. The humans made their judgment of me, as well. Thus I sentenced them... to extinction. Sympathy is merely a form of weakness.

Hector clings onto his humanity after being considered a demon most of his life, when Dracula infamously cast his own humanity aside to spite God and his "decree of limited life":

"Please, I beg of You, I am human too!" "My nourishment is human life and mistakes. I will disappear when humans perish…"

Rosaly is absolutely meant to be Lisa's counterpart. Both of them, gentle women mostly dedicated to aiding the sick and those in need, fell in love with dark, morally questionable men and brought out the best in them:

And Isaac was uniquely cruel, in how he manipulated a mob to falsely accuse Rosaly of being a witch and have her executed, the exact same fate that befell Lisa and pushed his Lord to madness. Hector doing the same would have been the key in his and Death's plans: had they succeded, and had Hector killed Isaac in a fit of rage, he would have literally become Dracula, as the vampire's curse would have fully consumed him and his body would have been used to resurrect Dracula.

But while Dracula blamed the entirety of mankind for the actions of few, Hector ignored the role of the mob (again, no harm on humans), immediately understood that Isaac was the one behind it all, and focused on killing him and him only. And even then! Seconds before skewering Isaac for all he did, Hector connected the dots and realized that the thirst for revenge that had guided him throughout the entire game was not even his! He had fallen victim to Dracula's curse, which darkens people's hearts. Dracula himself had corrupted him from beyond the grave. So he managed to save himself... what Dracula couldn't do.

As a bonus, they kinda look alike :)

It's intriguing how Alucard, Dracula's own son, resembles Lisa most of all, because her heart lives on in him, and then as Arikado he changed his appearance to look nearly identical to Mathias, Dracula as a human.

Hector, though? Pretty much a young version of Dracula as a vampire specifically. Sure, it can be because Kojima has the hots for one kind of man and loves to draw him all the time... but you know :)

And, funnily enough, in English both Hector and Mathias were voiced by Crispin Freeman! So I believe the parallels were fully intentional.

Ehm. I may have gone on a tangent :P anyway, the point is, Hector is a "good" Dracula, similar to Alucard in that "suffered the same trauma, reacted better, humanity is kinda important actually" way but IMO more poignantly because Hector skirted close to villainy multiple times (and is kind of rougher around the edges lol) while Alucard is more heroic.

I don't know nearly enough about Gabriel to draw more conclusive parallels. From what I know from the most surface level of summaries, Gabriel seems to be Mathias if his grief and his rejection of God had been given more focus in LoI. Marie also sounds to me more similar to Sara Trantoul, Leon Belmont's fiancée whose soul is sealed inside the Vampire Killer. If you find some similarities with what I said here, feel free to explain them <3

[greensparty]

Nirvana Boston: Part 2 - ManRay

This year marks 35 years since the release of Nirvana’s debut album Bleach and it also marks 30 years since the passing of Nirvana leader Kurt Cobain. In honor of one of my Top 3 Favorite Musicians of All Time, I’ve begun a multi-part series Nirvana Boston, in which I’ll look at all of the concerts Nirvana did in Boston. Part 1 looked at their July 1989 show at Green Street Station.

The second installment of this series is their second MA show!

April 18, 1990 ManRay (Cambridge, MA)

ticket stub

Since the last time Nirvana played Boston guitarist Jason Everman parted ways with the band and they were back to being a trio: Kurt Cobain, Krist Novoselic and Chad Channing (who was in his final months with the band). The band had done a lot of touring for their debut album Bleach, which was released on Sub Pop the previous Summer. On this particular date, the band was back in town for a show at the Central Square club ManRay, which was known as a goth club at the time.

WFNX's Duane Bruce was one of the early supporters of Nirvana in the Northeast and he was playing some of their songs late night on his show Radio Free Boston. He was at ManRay to emcee the show. He hung out backstage with the band and WFNX's Kurt St. Thomas (another early supporter). According to Bruce (he's also the author of Hang the DJ and the host of the American Debauchery podcast where he has discussed his time with Nirvana), Kurt Cobain said "So you guys are from a commercial station, on the other side of the country, and you play our music?" as Cobain put his arm around Bruce's shoulder and said "That's a first."

There was also an interview the band did before the show. That video has since surfaced online.

Nirvana interview backstage at ManRay

There were about 75 people in attendance. Local band The Bags opened this show. Crispin Wood, guitarist for The Bags, recalls "We hung out during their soundcheck and they hung out during ours." He says "The dressing room area was in the basement of ManRay. Pretty big space. The guys in Nirvana were nice. We partied together. Krist was the friendliest of the three." In attendance was Sluggo, who hosted Nirvana the previous Summer when they played Green Street Station and was in the local band Hullabaloo (they actually appeared on some compilation albums with Nirvana including Hard to Believe: A Kiss Covers Compilation). During Nirvana's set, Kurt dumped a pitcher of water on Chad. Sluggo says "Chad never saw it coming. Poor guy. But I suppose at this point he was use to the abuse - i.e. all the times Kurt would launch himself at the drumset." They mostly played songs from Bleach, although they did preview some songs off of Nevermind released a year and a half later, including "Breed", "In Bloom" and "Stay Away".

Cobain and Novoselic at ManRay photo by JJ Gonson

Cobain at ManRay photo by JJ Gonson

Photographer JJ Gonson, who got some great photos of them crashing at her apartment after the Green Street Station show the previous year, returned to this show to get some pics.

Here is the video recording of the show from YouTube:

Up Next: Part 3 will explore their 1990 show at MIT.

[gerbiloftriumph]

Floating Castle Liveblog (first read)

The King's Quest series has been graced with a very silly and very wonderful trilogy of adapted novels, and of them all, the first is my favorite. I have read it more times than I should, and liveblogged my musings on Goodreads in real time, er, multiple times.

Below is my first readthrough. Follow along with my initial, baffled, but ultimately delighted, self. Obviously, spoilers for an objectively terrible but subjectively amazing video game novelization from the 90s.

(and if you want to read the Floating Castle yourself, well, [I'm sure there are avenues online] but you didn't hear that from me)

May 7, 2018 –

page 0

Let it be officially known: I am terrifically excited to read this, and a little nervous, too. Please be good. Please be good. But please don't be SO good that I want to break my wallet trying to get a copy of See No Weevil. [side gerbil note: at the time, one of the only copies of See No Weevil, the third book in the series, available for purchase online was selling for $8k. No, that's not a joke.]

page 6

I miiiight be wrong, but wasn't Merlin's Mirror blank for all the years Alexander was missing, too? I have a feeling I read that somewhere...eh. I should read the actual game manuals sometime.

page 9

It's a touch on the fluffy side. A whole paragraph is dedicated to Alexander getting out of bed. But, let's be clear, that fluff worked really well a few pages ago with the storm, so. Plus, it's from the 90s, so. For some reason fantasy from then seems to be fluffy

page 10

You out of shape magician boy, you. Then again, 4 deep flights of castle steps (probs rough flagstone, rather uneven) is probably hard to climb, so. Fair.

page 14

Graham is such a good king. Like. Really really good.

page 26

Come on, magician prince. You can think of somethiiiing.

page 18

Sir Brian of House Blessed, I presume.

page 40

A: Oh, you stuck Graham's soul in a crystal? Very Ocarina of Time of you. What year did this come out? B: ...why is this actually kind of a good book? Like, from an honest fantasy novel perspective, not just a King's Quest adaptation perspective, it's actually not that bad. Slightly dated with its fluffy descriptions, but I've read plenty of worse fantasy before.

page 47

I didn't expect to enjoy a magician turning into a tree as much as I am, and I love Alexander being all good and diplomatic and not swearing anyone out for Cyril's complete uselessness.

page 49

I wonder how old Alexander is. I don't think it's said. How far past Manannan are we? Has KQ5 happened yet? These are not crucial questions, and yet. I'm curious. Do we know about Crispin? He's probably fractionally more useful than Morowyn. But only fractionally, cos he's still mostly useless.

page 54

Alex (paraphrased): So. All I have to do is sneak into Telgrin's evil doom castle, figure out where he hid a crystal of undetermined size with King Graham's soul in it, steal it (it had better not be car sized), sneak out without getting caught, and get home before his empty body dies, and you can put the soul back in? Cyril (quote): Oh, yes. Almost certainly. Probably. I think. Sounds like a PLAN, guys. Let's go!

page 54

Addendum to the above REALLY AWESOME PLAN. Do it before Telgrin tortures Graham's soul into hideous unrecognizability. Y'know. No pressure or anything.

page 58

I like Cyril. Road trip with the boys!

page 65

What sort of spooky ringwraith nonsense....

page 74

That’s....that’s just lembas bread. Literally just lembas.

page 81

Okay, there’s a thing I don’t like. Little episodic things periodically happen but so clumsily. I think it’s to give Alexander “items” to solve later puzzles, like the games. Direct quotes here: “Good apple,” Cyril said. “Very good.” “Sweet.” “Mmm.” And that’s the end of the exchange. Like. I get it, apples will probably be important later but. That dialogue is less than riveting

May 8, 2018:

page 87

"He’s going to try to ride a kelpie. I’ve never been so excited about a plot development in all my life!

page 108

I very much enjoyed that bit with the ogre, and now we’re hiding in barrels to sneak in. This book is like, nothing but all the best possible Fantasy Highlights.

page 123

Also, I’m fond of this exchange: “You are an evil man.” “So it has been said.” Telgrin shrugged. “Personally I’ve always found that such abstractions do not apply well to the real world. They make matters that are by their very nature complex seem rather too simple, don’t you think?” “Evil,” Alexander repeated."

page 133

Ewwww what is that thing. That’s a horrible beastie.

page 139

Where was he? Yes. Who was this beside him? Yes. Alexander those are not answers to your questions.

page 146

“All I’d have to do is wait until Telgrin is out of the room, step through the mirror, reclaim my father’s soul, and return through the mirror.” Alexander *liked* this plan."

page 162

It's absolutely just The Best Parts of Any Fantasy shoved together in one frantic ball of fury, with maybe three pages at most devoted to each new Fantasy Segment. I'm so into it. It's not a challenge to read by any stretch--I'd say it's middle grade fiction level--but, like, yo. It's crazy fun so who cares. (darn it, book, you broke my theory about where Telgrin had stuffed Graham. Boo. I was enjoying my guess.)

page 163

If my baby boy has broken his arm punching this ringwraith there will be hell to pay from me. I will protect this scarf-wearing lad at all costs. I say, when he's probably my age and knows at least a little magic and how to use a sword and has no problem crawling around dungeons and enemy castles.

page 165

Alexander is SUCH a pile of snark. Yeah, this is going well, he thinks. Now we have *four* knights chasing us.

page 168

“Cyril, I really don’t think—“ “*Enough.* there’s no time for discussion. Prepare yourself.” “No, Cyril, I— Aieeeeeeee!” Boys please

page 170

Are you KIDDING. It took us ages to get INTO the castle. And now we’re stuck outside again. P sure Telgrin is going to raise security after that debacle and kerfuffle you just caused.

page 175

Cuss the ever loving frick out of that tree root. You’ve earned a little less-than-princely reaction after this hell day.

page 181

Graham’s been soul-less for about a week at this point if I’ve added up right. He can wait a bit more, probably.

page 183

THIS IS NOT A HELPFUL SOLUTION TO THE MANY PROBLEMS AT HAND.

page 185

“Did you speak, Sir Frog?” “That’s Prince Frog to you.” Alex, please reign back the sass a little bit. You’re not helping matters.

page 194

We’ve found a princess, convinced her to smooch, he turns human again, and the first thing she says is “but....you’re *beautiful.*” Agreed, yo.

page 204

He’s been walking around with a hat this whole time? I hope it has a feather in it.

page 219

My baby Grahaaaaaam. Sorry about the week of agonizing torture. We came quick as we could. That whole scene with you and Telgrin was so cool and you’re so brilliant and I love your stupid regal face. Also. This exchange; “What happened?” “I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that Telgrin came uncomfortably close to killing me.” Y’know, no big deal.

page 223

"It opened its eyes, blinked, and said, “Hmph. What’s happening? Where am I?” “It’s all right, dear,” the first head said. “Go back to sleep. I am just going to kill this man here.” “Oh, that’s all right, then.”

page 228

I’m amazed Telgrin hasn’t raised hell and panic after losing Graham and his staff. Like. This isn’t a good event for our villain but we everyone seems remarkably calm.

page 231

“Is *everyone* in Daventry this obstinate?” Yes. You messed with the wrong royal family, tbh.

page 234

I love this. I love this book. In ways I cannot express because truly it is not a good book and yet. And YET. The setting is phenomenal, the cast both old and new entertaining, the language occasionally dips beyond melodramatic into actually decently lyrical, the action is relentless, and EVERYONE IS SASSY. Be it Alexander, Graham, this new princess, Telgrin. Everyone.

page 243

“I don’t suppose that you’ll tell me what you were up to.” “I don’t suppose.“ The sass is too strong. It’s blinding. I don’t want this book to end.

page 248

“You know, Alexander, I am not normally given to strong emotions. I do not often make declaration of animosity, for these do not agree with my usually thoughtful and scholarly nature. I must, however, tell you that I hate you.” The sass.

page 249

“The wonderful thing is, I have the power to make it all come true. All of it – the pain, the disfigurement, the death. I tell you, sometimes it’s a truly marvelous thing to be me.” Stars above I’m dying this is so good

page 250

This book is amazing. I am dying.

page 252

No, seriously. I am actually laughing out loud at this point. I love this. “She shall marry me unwillingly, or not at all!“

page 255

“Oh, I see the way of it. It’s blame-everything-on-Telgrin time, is it?” It hurts. My joy hurts too much. I’m crying with joy.

page 260

Cool guys don’t look at explosions.

page 269

This castle even has murder holes. Like. This is actually a good solid piece of fantasy, with accurate castles.

page 273

“I could attempt to fly you down.” All in all, Alexander thought he would rather just jump."

page 293

Graham is such a flirt.

page 297

No there’s no more page to turn!!!!!! Nooooooo I want moreeeee. .....aahHahdhsbdjdhdbuebfjxi.

May 8, 2018 – Finished Reading

five stars out of five stars

[nitrozem]

I’m bored to random facts about a variety of sims

Gino is a half-elf who was adopted by Jamie and Tobias when they found him wandering the forest alone. Nico is the biological kid of Jamie and Tobias via science baby and Celeste was an alien baby from Jamie.

Tobias and Tina are ridiculously competitive lol

Sasi has a pet “dog” called chupacabra, it actually might be a cryptid tbh…

Sunny’s real name is Marisol, Sunny is a nickname her father gave her

Ajay usually hovers close to Sid in a protective way. Showing his fangs to any suspicious people saying “Do not hurt him or you will regret it”

Micah always wanted to play guitar and join a band. Obviously he never had the chance, being homeless and trying to take care of his kid foster sister, Bug. Perhaps he can learn guitar now!

Bug’s real name is Alejandra, she and Micah came up with “cool street names” and Bug chose Bug cause she…ate a bug lol. Micah’s name was Rat. He doesn’t use that name anymore though.

Micah started going by his real name because of Johnny being insistent on knowing his actual name. “I don’t want to call you rat, it sounds mean, you’re just trying to survive” it honestly touched Micaj and perhaps this was the first interaction with Johnny that gave him those butterflies

Miguel never expected to ever get married or start a family. That being said he’s always liked the idea of being a Dad and he was over the moon when Kimiko got pregnant with their first child. And he is such a doting Dad too, loves his daughter to bits and hates seeing her upset, which leads him to be a mostly relaxed parent/the fun parent.

Old Ravi is a veteran from strangerville, he has many wild stories of his time in the military and people usually don’t believe him but…he did defeat the motherplant!

Earl and Jamie have been best friends since they were toddlers. Jamie’s parents allowed Earl’s mother to stay with her (she was a pregnant teen runaway) So they grew up together essentially. Their favorite past time is fishing and catch tadpoles

Crispin wants to be a great chef, he sells food at a food stand. He has all the time in the world to cook and bake, but lately he’s been feeling down and lonely. He has his pet dog but there is always a hint of sadness when he looks over at the empty side of the bed.

Tony played baseball as a kid, though it wasn’t for long because he hit a kid in the knees who annoyed him and he got kicked off the team. His weapon of choice us a barbed wire baseball bat, his old crew called him slugger for a reason…

[orphanheirs]

Happy WBW! Kind of a broad set of questions but I'm thinking about music today! Are there any famous musicians in your world? If so, how are they treated in your world; are they similar to this world like say how a big pop star would be well known and go on tours and such, or are they treated differently? Is music broadcasted out similarly to this world with radio, online and such or is this also different?

Thanks for sending this several Wednesdays ago!!

My story is partially set in the real historical regency period, and partially set in a realm of spirits that include demons, fairies, ghosts, and other non-mortals. While the historical aspect is mostly going to be based on research, the part of the setting which takes place in the Other Side is going to be mostly made up by me, although it too will be partially based on research I do into folklore and mythology.

In the real historic regency period I think there were famous composers; though maybe not so much famous musicians. I think famous composers (like Beethoven) probably traveled around and performed in different cities to large audiences, and likely also did private performances for nobility or wealthy people. There were a lot fewer famous musicians (and famous people in general) than today though, since celebrity as a cultural phenomenon itself was in its infancy. Mass media wasn't a thing yet, and so most people, if they had heard of a composer, would only know their name, and maybe have heard somebody play their music from sheet music. They might not even know what the famous composer looked like.

I haven't developed much of the Other Side/spirit world in terms of world building, but I don't think this would be the case there. I borrowed the vague concept from folklore that demons and fairies have innate musical ability that meets or even exceeds the best human musicians without having to try at all. Therefore it wouldn't make sense for any one of them to be raised above the rest in terms of talent. Being incredible at music is not impressive or even interesting to these beings. In the case of demons, they don't even feel compelled to create art or craft of any kind unless forced into it. Crispin, a half-demon being, is set apart from his kind by having a very human-like yearning to create. Fairies create, and greatly enjoy song and dance, but again this is mundane and easy for them. They create art and craft as almost an instinct rather than in the way humans do.

[majormeilani]

Does Cassidy have a hc voice because I've always imagined him to sound like Crispin Whytehead from psychonauts for some reason

i had to look that character up for an example but dhhddhfjh no unfortunately i haven't found a suitable voiceclaim for him yet. though some of that character's voice lines do sound a little like phrases he might say.

there have been a few suggestions from people for a possible voice for him but i haven't found one that i think suits him quite yet. you are close in the fact that cassidy has a rather "british" sounding accent though i always imagined it to be kind of a british-australian one and his tone is typically on the low side and he usually speaks rather calmly unless he's excited or passionate about something. i have also always considered his voice to be rather 'ranged' in that he may sometimes speak in a higher pitch or shift down into a lower one though this is dependent on the topic at hand. mostly because mice and i imagined him to be the type to have a more rather "whiny" voice when he's choked up about something, mostly when crying. but he tends to try and present himself as rather "proper" in his speech a lot of the time and says rather typically british-y things LOL.

sorry i haven't found a proper voiceclaim for him yet 😕 but hope this helps a little. if anyone has any suggestions of a good voice though i will take them!

[reikiajakoiranruohoja]

PSN-ROR: Lost in a sea of madness

Since I did an essay on the way Loboto's memory vault told us its story through intended misdirection, I figured I'd give my thoughts on the boss fight preceding it.

So, as usual;

WARNING: This essay discusses medical abuse, mental health, emotional abuse, whaling and bad ways to deal with trauma. Please take care!

I should also note that these conclusions are my own based on the evidence the game gives us. If you took a different view from it, more the merry. Since this is a mental world that is highly symbolic, I'll focus mostly on themes Loboto himself would include over what the actual creators did.

Let's start with our stage; the open ocean in a bathtub. Since every mindscape matches the way the person sees themselves and their issues, Loboto's mind pictured the sea and a general nautical theme. Later we learn that as a child Loboto seemed to have an affinity for sailing and sea creatures.

So why the ocean and why is it located in a bathtub? Given Loboto's ties to sea creatures, he must have associated the open and endless seeming ocean with being lost and without a direction. The trope of a sailor being harassed by a sea monster is also common, so I'm sure that played a part in the depiction.

The interesting part comes from how the ocean appears to Raz and First Mate Loboto vs how it appears to Monstrobo. To Raz and First Mate, it is an endless sea with no visible way out. To Monstrobo, it is a regular-sized bathtub.

To me, this implies how Loboto feels about his situation. On the one hand, it is a nice controlled environment where he can do what he wants. On the other? It is an endless and hopeless expanse that he cannot navigate. More importantly, while the part of Loboto that is Monstrobo thinks it has everything under control and is just having fun, the First Mate knows that outside that bathtub is an ocean of nothing and no direction.

Essentially, while Loboto gets short-term gratification from his work, he is subconsciously aware he is pretty much adrift and directionless in his life. While he has his work and minions to bully, we have never gotten any hint of what his greater goal in life is. Most likely, he doesn't have one and is only going from job to job. His old home at Thorney Towers also hints at this. While it was under his control, he also did very little to make it livable as if he just stayed there because it was a place to stay.

Let's now turn out attention to the opposing forces, Monstrobo representing madness and First Mate representing sanity. I'll start with Monstrobo since it is the shorter analysis.

Monstrobo's view of the mindscape is a bathtub with the First Mate and the ship as toys. In general the way Monstrobo acts is very childish, focusing on playing with his toys however he wishes. I can't help but think Monstrobo is Loboto's unconscious self-criticism over the way he acts towards others, given how much Monstrobo acts as the Id in the Freudian trio. That and how Loboto feels about the way his life has gone.

The way Loboto treated his fellow inmates, Sheegor, Linda and Mr.Pokeylope is as if they were his toys. If Sheegor doesn't want to play, just yell at her and threaten Pokeylope! Give Edgar an impossible task to complete, ignore Fred and Gloria since they are boring and give Crispin a silly job to guard the elevator. It is all very short-term and easily blows up in his face. Monstrobo is a more literal version of this, throwing around his toys and having fun.

As Loboto is not well mentally, this side of him is stronger and the way he lives feeds this part as well. It isn't that he can't be serious and mature, but a life of crime tends to focus on very material and shallow things as well as seeing others as tools. Or toys, if they are weaker than you.

In short, Monstrobo is playing and that's all he will do. In the real world, Loboto will treat others as playthings and show little sympathy towards them. Neither thinks in the long term. This will not change unless something fixes the balance.

Now First Mate is an interesting figure. He acts like an adult and represents sanity. But more importantly, the way he looks hints at another thing he is to Loboto.

First Mate is what Loboto thinks he could have been, had life been more fair to him.

Monstrobo and Loboto in the real world look nearly or entirely identical (whether you think his brain is exposed or not.) First Mate looks like Loboto, but he lacks the prosthetic arm, he lacks the loupe eyes and he lacks the shower cap. He doesn't, however, lack the scars Loboto has. In fact, since his head is shaved, First Mate doesn't seem to mind the scarring at all.

First Mate is a version of Loboto who didn't have to hide or suffer, who could be scarred but still okay with the way he looks. A version of him who could also live his dream. Granted, this dream is to be a whaler, but that's what happens when you damage someone's frontal lobe at a young age. Their ideals can get stunted.

So if First Mate is the Loboto who could be himself, why is he the one on the ropes? In my opinion, because Loboto is not mentally well and so thinks he shouldn't even try to better himself. The part of him that still clings to hope is being terrorized by the part of him that has given up or never had any hope in the first place.

That is why I think First Mate also fears Monstrobo because mentally ill people often fear the person the disease makes them to be. First Mate gives up at the end of the boss fight because that side of Loboto has been ignored so long that it too thinks it is hopeless.

When Raz defeats Monstrobo, Monstrobo spits out the memory vault that could finally give direction to Loboto's life. The madness and the short-term gratification have kept it hidden, but now there is a chance things could be better.

Once the compass is returned, there is hope for Loboto in his mind once more. His mental illness is better under control, he realises he has treated others as toys and he wants to do better.

But as I stated before, the idealized version of Loboto is a 19th-century whaler. There is still a lot of work to do for Loboto before he truly has sailed to new waters.

I hope you enjoyed this analysis, I know it is extremely long.

[jams-sims]

Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

Omg- this is gonna be a rough one cause I have current favs and old favs.

In no particular order-

1: Buddha (ror/snv/ records of Ragnarok)

Reason: He is the first God to openly say fuck the other hods and fight for the human. His style, his attentuide i could marry this man i love him so much.

2: Alucard (hellsing)

Childhood crushes goes hard and I never stopped loving this character. It's also partially because of his voice actor both the original and the abridge version. Shout out to Taka and Crispin Freeman.

3: Gojo (jjk)

Here man hate this man but I am in love with him. It's his everything! It's the way he is going to lose everyone he loves. I foam at the mouth over this guy.

4: Denji (chainsaw man)

I firmly believe I could bully fugimoto into marrying me and that why I like Denji. Nah but fr it mostly because I love like sad pathetic character and have a bit of a savior complex. Denji just a wet noodle of a boy and I wanna hug him!

5: Hisoka (hunter x hunter)

This one is pretty contentious because everyone has something they want to say about this character. As if they haven't misinterpreted both him and illumi. I just like a character who doesn't give a fuck but is full of spite. Like this bitch so so full of hypocrisy, we love to see it.

6: Naraku (inuyasha)

This one super old crush, I wish there was a reason. But their not I just remember really likening him as a kid so it's just followed me into adulthood.

7: Gaara (Naruto)

Again another childhood crush that followed into adulthood. This one stems from the fact when me and my friends would make OC. They would always pick the main guys and I wouldn't have anyone cool to pair up with besides the lame side characters. So I became more aware of what side character did because I wanted them to be just as important that the main character my friend picked. It's the favor of childhood trauma.

8: Rin (texhnolyze)

The only female on the list and she does a horrible death and spirals the main lead to die as well. Rin is just the stand it for the whole cast in this anime. Don't watch it unless you are in the right mental state. Cause I wasn't :D

9: Medcine seller (Mononoke)

Just- watch the anime and and the movie this guy comes from. It's hard to put into words what I like about him.

10: Naota (FLCL)

This one was hard to pick because I have a lot of old character I like. And someone were fighting for this last spot. But I decided to pick Naota simply because I invested so much time into his story. Into the world. It's how I met one of my best friend. This character holds a dear place in my heart.

Honorable mentions: Kyo from samurai deeper kyo, Kuzuma (S-Cry-Ed), Shinji (EVA), Ibrau (kuuchuu Buranko I also bought the book) imma just put the name of the anime cause i love it (Abenobashi Mahou Shoutengai) that whole cast. This made me go down a wild ass rabbit whole in search for this ome fuckin anime i can not for the life of me find.

[infjtarot]

Temperance. Weiser Waite Smith Tarot

A figure stands at a river, mixing two cups. One is filled with hot water, the other cold water. The figure has one foot in the river, one foot on the ground. In contemporary decks, the figure is often portrayed as an angel; traditionally, however, it is not an angel but a hermaphrodite. Temperance is about blending two extremes, or two opposites, to create something new. The hot and cold water combines in her cups to create something temperate. The male and female bodies are combined to create the hermaphrodite. There is also a sense of hanging back here, of waiting to see what the river will bring to us as it flows. Temperance is represented by the number fourteen. Temperance is an easily misunderstood card, as it has become associated mostly with abstention. Not drinking, not participating, denying yourself something. But that breaks away from the origins of the card, which traditionally portrays a hermaphrodite blending two cups of water—one hot and one cold—to create something in the middle between these two extremes. Ovid’s story of Hermaphroditus shows the child as the offspring of the Greek deities Hermes and Aphrodite. He was born a boy and was so beautiful that even a nymph, sworn to chastity and devotion to the Greek virgin moon goddess Artemis, flung herself at him. Her desire was so strong that they fused into one being, with the sexual characteristics of both male and female. The theme, then, is not about abstention but about finding a middle way. It is about taking two opposites and creating something new. There have been great androgynous women stars, from Marlene Dietrich in a tuxedo to Katharine Hepburn with her swagger and her trousers. Fewer male performers are willing to exhibit their feminine side. The stand-up comedian Eddie Izzard performed in dresses and heels, and the witty Irishman Oscar Wilde grew out his hair to scandalous lengths for his time, but it’s been more socially acceptable for women to express masculinity than for men to express femininity. The so-called glam rock of the early 1970s was an interesting gender-bending era, as men discovered the pleasures of sequins and feathers, eyeliner and lipstick. Musicians such as Marc Bolan of T. Rex, David Bowie, and Brian Eno of Roxy Music dressed up, flirted, and presented themselves in a feminine mode. It’s a bit of a shame that the era ended. If anything, the Temperance card argues against overcorrection—from veering from one extreme to another, like a person who has had a terrible diet for years, filling himself with junk food and beer, and then becomes a militant juice-fast follower and lectures others on how they need to leech out toxins. Or an atheist who converts immediately to a fundamentalist religious belief. Temperance asks you to find another way. Wherever you are the most steadfast, wherever you are the most stubborn and rigid, that is where Temperance is asking you to reconsider your extreme position. If your work is too logical, maybe you need to spend some time with the surrealists. If your work is too minimalist, maybe it’s time to explore decadence. If your work is too feminine, maybe it’s time to pull out that tuxedo. That kind of painstaking rebalancing takes time and patience, because it’s too easy to just grab the steering wheel and wrench it in the opposite direction. RECOMMENDED MATERIALS The Slider, recording by T. Rex Orlando, film directed by Sally Potter Una, Lady Troubridge, painting by Romaine Brooks Jessa Crispin

[enniewritesathing]

For the OC emoji asks: 💢 ANGER, 🍧 SHAVED ICE, 📣 MEGAPHONE

💢 ANGER - what are some habits they have that will take some getting used to?

John: For whatever reason, he is cranky in the morning and needs about a good 20 minutes before he's able to be talked to. If it's not a question that he can grunt yes/no to, don't bother. He tends to fidget by doing small stretches here and there. Surprisingly quiet in his movement (Brian has joked he needs a bell on him) and in general. And also being naked on a semi-regular basis (or the bare minimum of clothing). He does have the excuse of being a werewolf and runs hot, especially during the summer, so he does it to cool off. Mostly.

Brian: He can be very touchy, but on the other hand, he also doesn't want to be touched. When he's doing work (like say, putting in charts, doing research), he will make little small noises. I'd call this one 'being a cat'.

🍧 SHAVED ICE - do they still have any objects from their childhood? what significance does it have to them? what would their reaction be if they lost it?

John: Everything's still in his childhood house (or second house idk if I'll change that or what). He still has his first pair of boxing gloves -- and they are small because he was a little on the short side as a kid. The other is what he calls the the last good picture of him, Jacob and their dad. I'm not sure what his reaction would be if he lost them, but I also think there's a specific reason he didn't take them with him when he moved out.

Brian: Considering he got disowned and left his aunt's house at 15/16, I don't think he has any objects. Or that he'd care about them anyway.

📣 MEGAPHONE - how loud are they? what do they speak like? got a voice claim?

John: He's got a voice that carries, but not necessarily loud. John has a deep voice and it's got some bass to it. (Were!John is the same, but gravelly/little growly. As Noelle put it once, sounds like he ate a bug.) He also has a slight Filipino accent; it's very noticable when he's around his relatives (mom's side). People often do a double take when they hear it and ask where he's from or try to guess what he is. He's clearly something, lol.

Unfortunately, I don't have a voice claim for him... he's got several tones in my head, but if I had to pick, he'd probably be voiced by Crispin Freeman, specifically Kirinmaru. why no I didn't finish watching Yashahime like a git on Toonami a few weeks ago... what a mid show.

Brian: Not that loud, but he can be if he needs to be. He's what I call 'sharp loud'. He has an inexplicable Southern accent. I still don't know where is from in terms of what place he's from in-game (for whatever reason it's Strangerville, which explains some things about his family). His voice is a little high and it comes off as being cheerful; Brian has a tendency to do a little ~, if that makes sense.

Like with John, I don't have a voice claim, but, if I had to point to what he mostly sounds like, he sounds a lot like Whis from Dragonball Super, but higher.

[breezypunk]

35 and 60 for any of your choice.

Thank you!

-

35. Who's more artistic?

I'd say they both are in their own way.

Vaughn is artistic in music, he can sing, play guitar, he can even drum a little. He mostly sings and he's very good at it (and I recommend if you wanna hear how he sounds singing wise, to look up Crispin Earl from The Veer Union jndfkjdnfkaf).

I headcanon that Goro can draw very well. He learned as a teenager from than on just got better overtime. He draws with inspiration in mind. He doesn't just draw or paint anything, so basically he draws Vaughn.. a lot haha. Also sunflowers, or sunsets, etc.

60. Who pulls the other closer when they’re sleeping?

Vaughn. He is 24/7 touch starved and clingy, and when he's tired and ready to sleep he absolutely needs Goro there next to him, touching. Even if it's just a hand on the tummy, or a full blown out holding you tightly, Vaughn has to have him close at all costs, more so for personal reasons, and also he just likes to have his love there by his side when he sleeps, it's a sense of calmness and safety.

[pokemondarkpathau]

A Dark Path Walked Chapter 11: A change in everything

Kieran and Juliana had a long ride to the Central Plaza since they had to climb a lot with Koraidon. As promised, Gladys was waiting for them.

“Sorry we’re late, Gladys.” Kieran said.

“Did we make you wait?” Juliana asked.

“Don’t worry.” Gladys smiled. “I just got here too.”

“What did you want to talk about that is related to Carmine?” Juliana said.

“There is something I need to tell you.” Glady said. “Kieran, you said that Carmine only eats purple mochi, right?” “Yes.” Kieran nodded.

“It seems that Carmine is mostly seen with four Pokémon.” Gladys explained. “One of them is similar to a Peach-shaped toy, a dog-like Pokémom, a monkey-like Pokémon and a pheasant-like Pokémon. These four were seen around her one time. I got a machine called the Synchro Machine and I was using Comfey as surveillance, and one time she saw these four Pokémon with her. They must have terrified her since she sensed some sort of toxic aura.” As they heard Gladys’ explanation, terror went towards Juliana and Kieran. They have some idea in mind, yet they don’t know how to tell her.

“The only other person I told about this observation is Lacey.” Gladys continued. “It’s difficult to keep a conversation with Amarys, Crispin is an airhead and everything I say to Drayton goes from one ear to the other.”

“Alright.” Juliana tried to stay calm. “Thanks for everything.” “You’re welcome. I have to go.” Gladys waved as she walked away.

“Th-th-this is bad…” Kieran shook her head. “Is Gladys saying… th-that S-Sis caught the LOYAL THREE?!”

“I can’t believe it…” Juliana said. “Okidogi, Munkidori and Fezandipiti?” “What do we do?” Kieran said. “If she uses these Pokémon and you use Ogerpon-” “Don’t worry, Kieran.” Juliana said. “I’ll fight the BB League Elite Four and challenge Carmine. Keep an eye just in case.”

“Alright, thanks, Juliana.” Kieran nodded and smiled.

Meanwhile, Carmine and Pecharunt went to a hidden section of the Savannah Biome. Florian and Terapagos were waiting for her.

“Apologies for the delay.” Carmine said. “The outsider is falling for the trap. Crispin, Drayton and Amarys are playing their roles very well.”

“So it is working.” Florian smiled. He is never seen with a negative expression. “Now the trap will be unleashed when you win and beat that girl. Isn’t that right, Terapagos?” “Tera-Tera.” Terapagos chirped.

“Pecha!” Pecharunt said.

“The outsider WON’T SEE WHAT’S COMING.” Carmine smiled darkly. “The ULTIMATE STAGE will begin and the TOXIC CHAIN will do its part. Pecharunt and Terapagos will be the main stars while we will play our roles.”

“Terapagos and Pecharunt will pass the torch to us as the main stars.” Florian said. “The other students will be part of our army as soon as you do your thing.”

“THE OUTSIDER WON’T SEE WHAT’S COMING!” Carmine laughed darkly.

On the other side, Juliana strategized for her challenges at the BB League if she wanted to face the Elite Four and Carmine. She kept Skeledirge and Ogerpon while she did some BBQs for BP to unlock more Pokémon for the Biome and also pay for the Elite Trials.

Once her strategy was done, she decided to face the BB League Elite Four with Skeledirge, Ogerpon, Overquil, Serperior, Alolan Muk and Alolan Golem. She also caught a Delphox and Minior for a certain Elite Trial.

The first Trial she went to was the Fairy Elite Trial, where Lacey was waiting for her. “Hello, Juliana.” Lacey said. “I apologize for voting against you joining the League Club and facing the BB League. I didn’t want to involve you in any drama regarding the club since I heard Carmine is not on good terms with you.”

“Carmine is not on good terms with me?” Juliana was saddened. “But she was very-”

“I know it’s hard to accept.” Lacey shook her head. “But don’t let that take you down. I owe you a trial.”

“Of course.” Juliana nods. They went to a small corner of the Coastal Biome, where Lacey does her trial, which is a quiz regarding Cute Pokémon.

Juliana knew the details of some Pokémon since she did some Pokédex work while doing the BBQs. She knew Pikachu stored electricity on its cheeks, Venonat could see better in the night thanks to its eyes and could tell the different colored Miniors and spotted the Authentic Sinistea.

“Now, for the final question.” Lacey said. “Come on out, Granbull!” A Granbull stood beside Lacey. “My buddy Granbull is very cute, don’t you think? Now for our question… which body part do I use as a pillow?”

Juliana was not confused by the question since she heard Lacey had a secret.

“The… tummy.” The Paldean girl answered.

“Ding ding ding!” Lacey clapped. “You are correct! Granbull’s belly is so soft that you can use it as a pillow! Congratulations! You passed my test! Your prize is a battle against me! Once you are ready, we can begin.”

Juliana used Overquil and Alolan Muk for Lacey’s Whimsicott, Granbull, Primarina and Alcremeie and swapped Overquill to Cornerstone Mask Ogerpon for Lacey’s Galarian Slowbro and Skeledirge for Lacey’s Excadrill, which she did not know was Terastalized to a Fairy Type so her Torch Songs were worse than helpful.

But it didn’t matter, despite Lacey knocking down her Skeledirge, she managed to defeat the Fairy BB League Elite Four. Lacey praised the Pokémon for their cuteness and their battling styles. After they took a picture Juliana got a badge that had the similar design as the Gym Badges, which Arven and Team Star got the inspiration from, and was given the Technical Move Alluring Voice.

As Juliana left the Coastal Plaza, she ran into Florian.

“Well, if it isn’t Juliana.” He said. “I heard so much about you from Carmine.”

“Who are you?!” Juliana asked.

“I am Florian.” Florian said. “I used to be a student just like you. I was a student of Uva Academy, but I had to abandon my studies because some Pokémon trio took down everyone at my party except Terapagos. Now I am Carmine’s advisor. You know Carmine is strong, so there is no way you will win. Give up.”

“I won’t give up!” Juliana said. “And I won’t be held back!”

“You remind me of myself.” Florian’s smile never dropped. “But you will regret not abandoning your challenge.”

With that, Florian left.

“Who is that boy?” Juliana thought to herself. “And why does he look like me? Except for the attire and the eyes.”

Kieran was heard arriving. “Hey, Juliana, are you ok?” He asked. “I heard you defeated Lacey from Gladys’ Confey. Congratulations.

“I’m…” Juliana changed her expression. “By the way, did you see a boy who looks like me?”

“No, I haven’t.” Kieran shook his head. “Good luck with the other BB League members.”

As Juliana did Crispin, Amarys and Drayton’s trials and fought them, she couldn't help but feel suspicious. Everytime she defeated each and one of them, they would change behind her back as she left and Florian would always tell her to not fight Carmine, despite the fact that Carmine is more than happy to battle her.

Kieran went to Juliana.

“Juliana, are you ok?” He asked.

“Hey, Kieran?” Juliana said. “I need to tell you something… can we go to your room? And can you bring Gladys?”

“Ok…” Kieran was getting nervous.

They went to Kieran’s room. Gladys and Lacey arrived. Kieran was shocked to see Lacey.

“Oh. Hi, Lacey.” Kieran said. “I didn’t notice you.”

“Sorry for startling you.” Lacey said. “I can’t help but feel suspicious of Crispin, Amarys and Drayton’s behavior.”

“I know how you feel.” Juliana said. “I cannot help but… say that I have been seeing a strange boy who looks just like me. I asked Kieran, but he didn’t see anything.”

“So you’re not the only one who is suspecting something?” Gladys shook her head.

“What did that boy say?” Lacey asked.

“He apparently doesn’t want me to fight Carmine.” Juliana said.

“But Sis is more than excited to battle you.” Kieran said. “Why would he not want you to battle her?”

“Are they… planning something?” Lacey asked.

“We’ll investigate as Juliana battles Carmine.” Gladys said. “Maybe we’ll get some answers.”

Kieran hugged Juliana and silently wished her good luck. The Paldean girl went to the Academy Entrance’s reception desk and told the receptionist that she would like to battle Carmine. The receptionist nodded and grabbed a microphone. “Attention, everyone.” The receptionist said. “Please gather at the Academy Entrance’s Battle Court. The battle between Exchange Student Juliana and Champion Carmine is about to begin.”

Later after everyone gathered around the court, Juliana and Carmine faced each other on opposite sides of the field.

“It is finally time.” Carmine said. “I risked everything to get here. I tossed away everything. Friends, acquaintances, dreams and family. I trained and trained everyday. I fought and defeated the Blueberry League Elite Four and Became Champion. Everything I did… all of it.” She glared at Juliana. “ALL OF THIS IS TO DEFEAT YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!!” Carmine sent out Hatterenne and Kingdra while Juliana sent out Skeledirge and Wellspring Mask Ogerpon.

“Today will be the day that you lose to me!” Carmine said. Then she saw Ogerpon. She then laughed darkly. “YOU REALLY HAVE SOME NERVE, BRINGING THAT OGRE NOW OF ALL TIME?!”

“Pon…” Ogerpon was sad to see how much Carmine changed in a bad way.

“Sis was spiteful towards Ogerpon…” Kieran thought to himself. “Even though she did tell everyone in Mossui Town that Ogerpon is innocent… then why is she hating Ogerpon now…?”

The battle against Carmine was difficult, Juliana had to figure out how to fight Venasaur, Hatterene, Kingdra and Metagross, the latter two being Pokémon Drayton and Amarys have respectively. She still prevailed.

“I warned you.” Florian appeared from behind the crowd. “I warned you not to fight Carmine. The show is about to begin.” “Show?” A Blueberry student said in confusion.

Carmine smiled darkly as she sent out Pecharunt.

“That’s one of the Pokémon Comfey saw!” Gladys gasped.

“Graaaah!!” Ogerpon was angry upon the sight of Pecharunt. “Pon! Pon!”

“Ogerpon knows that Pokémon?!” Kieran gasped.

Carmine laughed as her appearance completely changed.

“PECHARUNT!!!” She shouted. “TIME TO UNLEASH THE TOXIC CHAIN!! TIME FOR ALL OF BLUEBERRY ACADEMY TO BE PART OF THE SCRIPT OF HISTORY!!!!”

Pecharunt first fired Mochi at everyone present and everyone took a bite except for Juliana, Kieran, Lacey and Gladys.

Pecharunt unleashed a toxic chain that wraps the entirety of Blueberry Academy.

“Let’s get out of here!!” Lacey said as she grabbed Juliana’s hand, since she was frozen in horror and she, Juliana, Kieran and Gladys ran towards the docks where planes land.

“I don’t believe this…” Gladys said. “Carmine, why?” “This is all my fault…” Kieran said. “If only I didn’t lie to her….” “You had a reason, Kieran…” Gladys said.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Lacey said, crossing her hands into an X. “Carmine is supposed to surrender her position as champion and give it to Juliana. And Crispin would be dropped out of the BB League Elite Four.”

“Um, Lacey…” Gladys said. “Juliana is not talking at all…” “Juliana?” Kieran said.

“I can’t believe these two would do something like this…” Juliana said, all the light having gotten out of her eyes. “I’ve… never been betrayed…”

“What do we do?” Kieran said. “There is only one place left to hide so we can plan something.” Juliana said.

“Where is it?” Gladys asked.

“The Great Crater of Paldea.” Juliana answered. “The one place known as Area Zero.”

[autumn-oceanopromises]

Notes For "How To Suppress Women's Writing" - Joanna Russ; Foreword and Prologue

So, it turns out that the other seminal book of feminist writing, the book by Joanna Russ, her Essays, arrived yesterday, with the excited feeling that being able to read Somebody's Trying To Kill Me And I Think It's My Husband: The Modern Gothic brings with it, but this book is the only one available in the local central libraries, so fortunately it's the one I didn't buy! I have a month with this, so I'm going through it slowly and deliberately (and first). The ebook is out, so clearly someone else is reading this too. This book seems to be about analyzing the patterns that Western (white, educated, industrial, rich) society uses to suppress women's writing. So I'm kind of keen to get into it, because it's also relevant to the Courtesan universe, so, hey. To really explore carving out agency in tiny boxes, I need to set the boxes first!

I won't go into too much detail on the text itself per se. I do want to go through this chapter by chapter (on here!) as a summary of my notes from the chapter, my thoughts on the notes from the chapter, and kinda do the same for the other nonfiction books I've borrowed from the library. Probably, nobody's going to read this, but solidifying learning is always nice and helpful. That's why it's my notes. The quotes are how I take notes, though mostly on my phone - I wish I'd learned that in college a few decades ago, though admittedly phone etiquette was different then.

This isn't a book review, though it might slip into that format every now and then. I'm not judging the quality of this work. I don't think I'm suited to - not from any wokeness or anything, though I am conscious and wary of that - but just because the skill level of the writer is so far out of my grasp and reach. This is Part 1 of my notes learning from reading this book (watch as I never write Part 2). Click on if you're interested.

*Disclaimer & trigger warning: As a cishet POC male 1.5-gen immigrant raised in a primarily Western environment to baby boomer conservative parents, but born in a conservative Asian country, I may hold some attitudes which are unsavory or may trigger; all opinions are personal. This was written in 2023. *This is done with the intention of writing better, more true-to-life, more incisive narratives, perspectives and dialogue. Any personal growth is incidental.*

Foreword

The foreword was written by Jessa Crispin, to which I'll just link the Google search. I'll be honest. Never heard of her before this, though Bookslut, her publication, sounds... kinda familiar. They closed in 2016, apparently.

There's a passage in here which I think is unbelievably poignant and accurate, which given it was written in 2018 is, uh, current with the times. (what do you mean 2018 was 5 years ago?) I'm just gonna quote it.

"...[Russ] understands how a fragile Self will need to define itself against an Other... That need for the Other to be a specific something, so that in reflection the Self can be something better... Creates a lens that makes it impossible to see the Other clearly without risking the Self."

I bolded the stuff that's the most relevant, the most groundbreaking bit to me, though all three quotes there are all really important.

"She understands how a fragile Self will need to define itself against an Other..."

The first part is kinda obvious to me as I am right now, but it sets up the next bits. Of course a fragile self-image, an ego, will need to set up an enemy. A cause always props up an insecurity. You hitch your wagon to the racing horse that is independent of you, greater than you, and you speak with its voice rather than your voice. This applies to the radicals on both sides, democratic and conservative, by the by. Insecurity, inside or external, hitched to a cause. We can see this in MAGA folk, and also in TERFs, and also in frankly speaking, radical and/or uninformed feminists across the spectrum. Activists in general, too. Without an enemy to fight, who are they? (And by setting them up like that, they're defined as the Other compared to my-Self, which is therefore perceived as better, yada yada.)

There's this thing from the Oral History of John Wick, which I'll cover too in the same way as this at some point, where it states a classification of a movie, any medium, really, is where if you take out all the elements of that genre, is there a movie left? If there isn't a movie, then it's solidly in that genre.

If you take out all the enemies in MAGAs and TERFs or radfems, radicals in general, do they have anything left?

That need for the Other to be a specific something, so that in reflection the Self can be something better...

There's a bit earlier of how cishet, rich, white men (not just dudes or dudebros) - the ones who want to be seen as reasonable, specifically - are still considered the voice of universal reason in Western society. Concurrently, (Hi, ADHD!) I'm also watching a course, in bits and pieces, done by one of those guys.

(I won't say which course because I'm 30% certain I got in the back way and I'm watching this stuff for free when it should be paid for. it's a marketing course, so, niggly niggly...)

Well, no, not done by one of those guys - done in the image, in the idol, in the name, of one of those guys. The actual person talking is one of his personality-cult followers, who is his own cult leader. I say this with absolutely no vitriol. It is what it is. These days, everything in social media is personality-driven, everything about success is personality-driven, but the personality needs to be a very specific type. And one of the key first phrases of it that I picked out is "You gotta build your audience: you gotta know whom you're attracting, and whom you're repelling. You've got to set up the Other - so that there's something that Your People are fighting against. And that'll draw Your People to you." And so this quote from Jenna Crispin really makes sense. Really makes sense. Cult leader man is "what works and how this works" - Jenna Crispin just told me why.

We're in a world now where insecurity is bred into us. Choosing to put out a perfect persona is an insecure act. The perfect persona is rewarded. But anyway. That's its own diatribe. Moving on.

Creates a lens that makes it impossible to see the Other clearly without risking the Self.

That this making of an enemy means that the perception of the enemy is distorted, tied up in self-perception and self-esteem, is just an interesting one altogether to play with.

"There is nothing more comfortable than not thinking." - Simone Weil

Yeah, no kidding. But also... more than just the obvious. It's a drive for comfort in an insecure, unfamilar, antagonistic, violent world. This applies to Youtube and digital applications, too. I don't remember where, but there was a thing that said - o. The 100 fanfiction by Chash. (And also an interview by Sam Reich and Brendan Mulligan, wrt Dropout.) woops. still, applicable - when people make digital content that's a success, people search by "feel", and that locks creators into doing the same thing, over and over. It's like a prison that gets smaller and smaller. But yes, that search for comfort is search by "feel". And that's what creators are looking to elicit, right? That "feel". Emotions, that's what really good creators do. By creating a singular experience, they use emotions and imagination and all of that to create a singular memory that moves people to action via shifting the levers of emotion.

(I'm wondering whether my main, personal, conflict is really a drive for novelty and a drive for comfort. I have this feeling it's not quite? Because it's a drive for achievement and a drive for comfort. I'd like to hitch both horses to my wagon, but they seem mutually exclusive right now.)

One of my friends is studying eliciting emotions in a social media context. The easiest emotion to elicit is, of course, anger and fear. It's not hard: exaggerate, go for the most salient and extreme. Stuff directed at the Self elicits fear. Stuff directed at the Other, and the creation of the Other, elicits anger. Super simple. Not easy, it's never easy. I should probably do it at some point. (Though, the suspension of fear - creating a low but persistent level of dread? Awesome.)

I'm more interested in the transformations, specifically transformations of anger to something more peaceful and something kind and calm, or genuinely happy. How do you change anger to ecstasy? Positive awe. Wrench open the horizons. Negative awe and you go straight into panic. Stuff like that - transformations, sublimations.

One of the ways to suppress women's writing, which Jenna Crispin mentions in this foreword, is to cut exceptional creators off from the roots and stem.

"Russ has no mothers, no daughters." Excise them entirely from the lineage. "Like Emily Dickinson: she came out of nowhere, a stunning jewel, and faded into obscurity just as quickly." We see this more than in women's writing - suppression of POC writing and queer writing is exactly the same pattern, and I honestly think it super super super harms literature in general, this kind of suppression. (I, to be honest, have my issues with POC as a term, given it's a very American white definition - you separate by Othering yourself, but ok) As that Oral History of John Wick says, which, fuck, I guess this has become a comparative post: "like in animation, it's the stuff between the keyframes that really make the animation run." All the less good, the serviceable stuff, the evolution that made the trope popular and familiar and understood.

Jenna Crispin also mentions that "it's a cliche that literature builds empathy". It can help us along, but we're in an age where you get to choose what you like to read. Empathy needs to be worked for, opening horizons due to reading a wider breadth of protagonists. People aren't beholden to book lists or what's in your local library anymore. And most people will echo chamber themselves because it's more comfortable not thinking. You can read all the books in the world but if they're all the same formula, you don't actually go anywhere.

The last line of this foreword niggles at me. It's "We are all her daughters." It aroused disquiet in me. It felt, very strongly, very clearly, that this book was not meant for me, because I am not anyone's daughter. Despite the fact that Jenna Crispin, less than two lines ago, mentioned not to focus on name, gender, worldview. To think.

It's an interesting one. I guess I can be someone's daughter. I'm just viscerally offended by the assumption, somehow, despite being quite happy to be feminine, otherwise. It's an attitude in myself that is... huh.

Prologue

From this point forward everything is written by Joanna Russ, in 1983.

The prologue opens with "Frument", an act by the alien GLOTOLOGs. A quick google search, because I swear to god I have heard of "frument" before, reveals a grain-based porridge called "frumenty". Similarly, the closest thing to glotolog is "Glottolog", a database of the world's languages. I think I'm remembering the dancing aliens of my first year undergrad psych class. It was a terrible analogy that involved sex as a resource that only one gender could give. I don't remember whether that lecturer was male or female, but it was a terrifying metaphor. Stunning in its horror and implications. Especially that you had to study that and spit it out for university-accredited tests to be considered "correct".

"Historians of the majority ignore literature efforts or condemn them as mediocre, lacking in structure, of technical interest merely, or above all, lacking in the proper spirit."

...which brings "Glotologgish" into intergalactic parlance as "information control without direct censorship," with a side note of "ridiculous self-deception bolsterd by widespread and elaborate social fictions leading to the massive distortion of information."

We're seeing it now, here, in the world - information control via mass bot and cash for shitty clickbait. No direct censorship, but if you direct the boxes well enough and offer good enough bait, you can mass information control via self-deception, easy enough. Radicalization, echo chambers, along the same track.

In a nominally egalitarian society, the ideal situation is that members of the "wrong" groups have the freedom to engage in literature or media creation, but they don't, which means that they can't. Except people will. Make the freedom, therefore, with as many barriers to entry, and then discredit, ignore, condemn, dismiss and belittle the stuff that comes out afterward. If it's properly done, then the social situation becomes that the "wrong" people are free to do it, but few do, and those who do "do it badly", so there's no point in doing it.

Methods of doing so include:

informal prohibitions (including discouragement, the inaccessibility of materials and training)

Denying the authorship of the work in question

Belittlement of the work itself

Isolation of the work from the tradition that it belongs, making the subsequent production anomalous

assertions that the work indicates the author's bad character (hello, reverse cancel culture)

assertions that since the author is of bad or scandalous character that the work should not have done at all (hello, cancel culture)

assertions that the work is of scandalous or bad topic and thus should not have been done at all

Or ignoring the entire thing as not existing, the works, the workers, the tradition.

Aaaand that's it. for the prologue and the foreword. Ooh, I'm looking forward to the chunks that come next.

General Takeaways

I think, in context with the Courtesan universe (it makes me feel comfortable to set everything in there, okay???) this is the stuff I'd like to explore:

Who's the enemy? The setup of the Other in a personality cult. Being a personality cult leader while still following other personality cult leaders, all the way up. Having courtesans be influencers as well as being other artist types. Maybe the American house, or the modern house, maybe, is almost all influencers? Ha.

Tying self-perception into creating a fake and distorted Other, an exploration of self-identity and indoctrination. Propping up self-perception via Othering someone else.

Information control through deliberately and referentially setting up echo chambers

Someone hitching their insecurity to a cause, and causing a whole lotta harm while doing so

A character deliberately preying on someone else's insecurity to tie them to a cause

"Freedom" that is not freedom at all - via deliberate scandal and bad topic and information control. Courtesan is at the core of it about parasociality taken real, love work in place of or adjacent to sex work, so this is very much in line with the underlying theme of it.

I really need to watch more of that course, dammit.

Excise the root and stem, to make someone a singular existence, isolated from the tradition that held them. There's already something in the timeline here that has context: a male courtesan that made free, Jingyun.