#mostly because i already know what i want to make like. everyone already
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As a simple example, that 8 glasses of water thing was a lie spread by scientists that were partnered with Gatorade. Just drink when you're thirsty.
Diamonds and bacon are in a similar boat. People love them mostly because of advertisements. That's why diamonds cost so much, too! Now, granted, gems are pretty, and bacon tastes good, but the ads did more harm than good.
And cutting calories doesn't work because calories are just how much energy it takes to boil it in water, and your body runs to use whatever nutrients it can when it has a deficit. It's not uncommon for it to eat at your muscles and other soft tissues instead of fat. As ironic as it is for someone like me to say, the best diet for losing weight is a balanced one. Sugar is the main issue, btw, not fat. In fact, fat is healthy for you, gets turned into lipids which can be beneficial for brain health. Now that doesn't mean you should just eat fat, it's all about balance and moderation. Grease is in a similar vein, it's not quite the best for you but a bit here and there won't kill you. And frankly, a bit of a belly is good for humans, it protects the body from bludgeoning and slashing damage. Sure, it'll hurt like hell, but you're more likely to get a punctured innards or have them fall out if you are thin than if you have some fat blocking the way. The main danger is the oily fat that surrounds organs, not the kind that covers your body. External is fine, internal is dangerous.
Then there's the BRAT diet. While it is easier on your digestive system, it can actually make diarrhea WORSE because the food is so soft it leaves acid left over. Same with grapes and meal substitute drinks. Especially meal substitute drinks! Liquid diets in general do this, but these are the worst because you drink enough to fill your stomach, prompting it to generate acid...for something that is pretty much already digested...I think you see the problem.
Everyone knows cold helps with swelling. Problem is, swelling is important for recovery, and putting ice on it actually slows recovery down. You actually want to put warmth on it! You want more blood to the area, because it brings nutrients and cells that fight infections.
As well, everyone knows to use IcyHot, right? Wrong, the chemicals used to make that work, especially the stuff that directly puts it on your body like the rollers, actually damages your skin and can lead to skin cancer!
And then there's Red 40. A synthetic chemical that also gives cancer!
Everyone knows you have to cook meat. Problem is, the smoke and char that can cause leads to cancer too. Not the meat itself, though. And I still don't trust any meat that isn't well done. Way too risky. You do know there can be germs inside the meat, right?
Everyone knows vaping is supposed to be a safe alternative to smoking. Problem is, water vapor in the lungs can easily lead to mold and infections. And the nicotine is so concentrated it's actually worse than cigarettes!
And my personal favorite, everyone knows Pokemon Gen 1 was held together with duct tape and dreams, except the glitches actually occur due to them using things to make other things happen. For example, having the name "Old Man" show up is done by storing your name in the town Pokemon tables. Those get reset when you enter a new route. But the area by the islands are coded to be water tiles within the city in the English versions. Not an issue, just program an encounter table for them...oh, right, since it's an English oversight, there was never an intended table. Really the easy fix would have been to extend the routes to include those edges. But yea, the reality is that the games did so much with what they had that hiccups occur. Same with Gen 2, that's why you can get a Celebi by using Beat Up, same index number. Gen 3 they got enough space to not have to be bleeding edge, so their glitches are from things interacting in ways nobody expected, like Glitzer Popping.
So yea, there's nothing wrong with fact checking "common knowledge", because we learn new things all the time. Common knowledge could easily be lies, or misunderstandings, or assumptions.
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Thanos/Choi Subong NSFW Headcanons
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Warnings: NSFW (18+), smutty, substance use, manipulation (this takes place pre-games btw!)
I imagine you two to have a friends with benefits situation. Subong doesnât like commitment and the sexual tension between you guys is too intense to ignore.
His motto is âtits or ass? why not both?â
Would love to get you to smoke weed with him, especially the lazy messy makeout sessions that ensue during it
Has tons of experience. Donât worry, that translates to veryyy good things for you in the bedroom, heâs so goddamn good at eating pussy.
Loves your legs over his shoulders, pressing your legs to your chest, mating press, anything that evolves him feeling up your soft legs/thighs and bending your body in half.
Doesnât take off his cross while he fucks you. It dangles between you two as heâs above you, resting coldly on your boobs when he leans down to connect your mouths in a sloppy kiss.
Can be mean in the bedroom, but mostly very cocky and just loves to see you embarrassed and flustered. Loves the huge ego boost he gets when you cover your face in embarrassment or you canât help the cute pathetic noises leaving your lips. Youâre so cute! Heâs not below making fun of you until you pout with your plump bottom lip out, and he loves to tease.
Loves when you whine his name out, âSubongâŚâ and give him your pleading puppy eyes. Heâll grin widely and pinch your cheek, sometimes giving you what you want. Most of the time makes you beg for it while you try to hide your blushing face.
âBeg Thanos if you want it so bad.â
Will refer to himself in the third person cuz heâs silly and cocky like that
I imagine him living the high life in a mansion before he lost all his money to crypto. Itâs big, modern, lots of marble and granite. Throws tons of parties where everyone gets shit-faced. Loves loves loves you being there so he can sling his arm around you the entire party. If youâre a party girl youâll be living the dream everyday of your life. If not, well, you better get used to it, the drug scene and all.
That being said about his house, his room is a stark contrast to the rest of his place. Dim lights, neon signs along the walls spelling out his name in Korean and english, dark red walls and black accents. Various music equipment lying around, a futon (his favorite place to get blowjobs from you), a few weights, and his king-size black bed which is never made. Smoke almost always clouds the room creating a dream-like atmosphere. It always smells like weed or sweat in there and his floor is covered in clothes (some of them being yours that you forgot about).
LOVES LOVES LOVES IT when you wear one of his shirts and just panties. Itâs so oversized on you and hangs off one shoulder. He thinks you look so sexy like that. Your favorite shirt to borrow is his neon green one, it smells so good, so Subong.
Pretty fit but not overly muscular. Heâs got great pecs and loves to walk around shirtless âcause he knows youâre so weak for it (and just because).
So often youâll show up at his place and heâll be lazily walking around without a shirt on and a baggy pair of shorts slung low on his hips, far enough to see the brand of boxers heâs wearing. His cross laying on his bare chest between his pecs. Makes your legs wobbly.
Heâs constantly got scratch and claw marks down his back from you. And lovesss to show it off.
Loves to pay for you to get your nails done (so you can scratch him with em), honestly loves to pay for your everything and I can see him using money recklessly to show off. Will never let you buy anything when youâre with him.
Will be trying to get you to use. If you donât already, heâll see it as a conquest to corrupt you. He knows itâs bad and doesnât really care, heâd love to bring you down to his level if it meant you two could feel good together. Will definitely be manipulating you into taking a pill from his cross.
âCâmon baby, itâll make yâfeel so good. Ya trust me right?â
Gives you substances through sexual methods only. Popping a pill in his mouth and kissing you, pushing it through your lips with his tongue. Putting a pill on his tongue and sticking it out for you to lick off. Blowing smoke & vapor into your mouth.
Has a thing for your mouth and lips. The view of your lips stretched around the base of his cock is his favorite thing in the world. When you leave lipstick stains on his pelvis he doesnât want to wash it off afterwards.
This man has a tattooed and pierced dick â he has no shame and a high pain tolerance. He has a dark solid line running down his shaft (like the one on his neck), a ladder piercing and a stud at the tip (like a Prince Albert piercing). You couldnât lie, it intimidated you when you first saw it, your eyes going really wide when it sprung out of his boxers. He laughed above you at your reaction, a lopsided smirk forming on his face. How was that gonna feel inside of youâŚ? âMâgonna make you feel so good baby.â Turns out he was right, it felt fucking fantastic.
Nicknames he has for you include baby, babe, senorita, flower, mamacita when heâs feeling playful. In bed itâs my slut, whore, Thanosâs whore, plaything. âMy bitchâ when heâs drunk or on strong substances.
Wants you to get a tattoo of his name so fucking bad. Has brought up the idea in passing a few times, seeming not super interested. But in reality heâd find it so fucking hot, especially if it was on a hidden part of your body like your ass cheek, the word âThanosâ bitchâ surrounded by a heart inked into your plush flesh.
Would spank the shit out of that tattoo on you.
Loves to spank you in general, needs to see that ass jiggle when itâs bouncing against his bare hips.
100% records you during sex and loves taking photos of you (whether you realize it or not during the moment). Has an entire photo album dedicated to it <3
I need to see more of him before the games, that 2 second clip was not enough smh.
#choi subong x reader#choi subong headcanons#thanos x reader smut#choi subong#thanos headcanons#choi seunghyun#choi su bong#thanos smut#thanos x reader#squid game fanfiction#squid game fanfic#squid game x reader#x reader#smut#squid game#squid game smut
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My Worries Come in Phallic, Freudian Shapes
PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 2k TYPE: Established Relationship, It's basically just Kaiser tweaking for no reason đ¤Śââď¸đ¤Śââď¸đ¤Śââď¸ (I find it funny but interpretations may vary) WARNING(S): Kaiser's overactive imagination?
Kaiser would like to say heâs quite numb to being separated from you. Sometimes you come along with him at away games, if possible, but in other instances you have to be apart sometimes even for months, and Kaiser likes to think he manages it well.
Youâre not on his mind much when heâs training or during a game. Mostly his times of weakness happen outside of that, though Kaiser doesnât let it get to him. For example, he does this fun exercise where if his mind strays towards you too often or when he can sense the void in his chest is beginning to take on a suspicious shape, he holds out on texting or calling you for as long as possible. To test his will â which is something normal people do like all the time, of course â and because wanting to distract himself gives him extra neurotic energy to burn when heâs doing his exercises.
Not that Kaiser becomes neurotic over you or anything. Itâs not even a big deal to him.
Heâs sure you miss him more than he misses you. Heâs confident you do. After all, to him, itâs no big deal, as previously stated. Itâs true.
He doesnât worry about small and nonsensical things like how youâd probably prefer a more present and available boyfriend, and how youâre free to do whatever you want with remarkable ease when youâre seas and oceans away from him.
Kaiserâs eye twitches while he continues shoving the last of his belongings back into his luggage, since he needs to pack for his flight back home. This train of thought isnât going anywhere good â he needs to abandon it. Besides, a second with Michael Kaiser is worth way more than a month with some stupid, worthless commoner. Your shitty replacement for him will never rival the real deal.
No, this is stupid. You love him, you donât have a replacement for him. Right? You wouldnât betray him while heâs away. Youâre his first and only love, you canât do that to him, can you? You know heâd kill you if you did it and he found out, donât you?
This is stupid. He wouldnât kill you! Kaiser doesnât want to kill you. He should stop thinking about this⌠You wouldnât do it to him either anyway, you love him back. Kaiser knows you do, so why does it not feel real most of the time?
What if youâve fallen out of love with him, though? Maybe you look forward to when he has to go away for long. Forget all about him the moment heâs out of your sight, donât spare him a single thought, have fun with your little friends while heâs gone, all that.
You probably get together and you start shit-talking him with them the way people do about their good for nothing boyfriends sometimes. They call his haircut stupid and you cackle along with them, then you tell them how insecure and unlovable he really is, and actually his dad beat him as a child so now heâs barely human, how it makes him an arrogant and pretentious piece of trash pretender, and then youâre like âI wish I had a normal boyfriend instead of Michaelâ, and theyâre all like âyou deserve a normal boyfriend, this is fucked upâ, and youâre empowered to free yourself of your burden. So he comes back home and you pick him up from the flight and you break the news to him that youâre leaving him and he has to move his belongings back to his place.
Maybe you have a new fling already, but itâs nothing serious because you still need to dump Kaiser and all. And heâs like in finances or something, an accountant maybe, who works normal hours (not the overachieving workaholic type who stays behind to do extra), and he probably doesnât have footage of him having meltdowns on live TV for everyone to see. There are no interviews where heâs acting bitchy, no compilations of him acting cruel or âcrashing outâ or whatever else. And he probably grew up in an average household â they werenât rich or anything, but his parents made time for him. They were loving and nurtured him to be a rightful member of society, raising him to be someone worth your affectionâŚ
Holy shit does Kaiser feel unhinged. Literally why is he making up this entire story in his head? It never happened.
It didnât, right? You wouldnât do it to him, would you? You love him. You really, really, really love him, like from the bottom of your heart, somehow you love him and you donât want to hurt him, even if youâre probably sick of him being away and of his problems and his attitude and his everything. If you had a magic wand, he wagers youâd wave it and change him on a neurochemical level, keep his looks and his successes, but get rid of the unnecessary baggage.
Or would you keep him as he is and love that ugly thing? Can you? Do you have it in you? Are you just tolerating him for some monetary benefits or out of pity with your knowledge of his past? Do you still love him? Will you love him a few hours from now or are you going to get bored? Are you bored and antsy waiting for him and is it affecting your feelings, suffocating your love to zero each moment heâs not by your side, each reunion only serving to put off the inevitable? Is the novelty wearing off? Do you need novelty?
Kaiser fights off the impulse to write you a text message threatening suicide and then turning off his phone until the end of the flight to keep you on your toes. A flashy move in attention seeking for sure, but for one you donât even know heâs in a mind war with you, so youâre more likely to be confused than begging for him not to do it and for his forgiveness, though maybe it could earn him a reassurance of love and care. Regardless, Kaiser is not taking the chance because if you ignore him or donât see the message itâll just devastate him.
And also he kind of doesnât want to act like that. Well, he does, but the rational part of him is also still awake and holding him back. You wonât appreciate that. Right now the strife heâs going through is completely imaginary, but if he goes and acts crazy outside the confines of his mind, he really might fuck everything up.
If he makes too many mistakes, you might fall out of love with him, and if you fall out of love with him, youâll leave him. Kaiser thinks about what heâd do in that case. Without you he is nothing besides an unwanted waste of breath â youâre the sole person who got close enough to see beneath his nonsense and decide to tolerate it, attracted beyond frivolity for an enigmatic reason.
Maybe the perpetrator behind this strange limbo of weird hysteria is Kaiserâs low self-esteem. It always circles back to that and he is sick of it. He doesnât understand why you subject yourself to him and here, a whole ordeal.
Whatever anymore. Kaiser doesnât even care. Itâs a pointless matter to lose his mind over. He knows you cherish him, and even if you didnât, heâd get over it. Life moves on. There are other fish in the seaâŚ
Actually, if you tried to leave him, Kaiser has so many things he would do, theyâd earn him a restraining order. First heâd resort to begging and ugly crying, but he doubts itâd sway you. Heâd need to be more extreme.
No, thatâs silly. If you separated, heâd react to it like a normal person, right? He wouldnât do a thing. Heâd let you leave without any theatrics and move on. Right? Itâs what he would do, Kaiser decides.
Or maybe he can get a leg up on you and catch you out when you begin losing interest in him and he can work to win you back over. You wonât even know what hit you. Yea, Kaiser will scheme to sweep you off your feet.
Not that he cares that much to put so much effort in⌠Itâs just his strength and natural calling as an unbothered male manipulator.
___
After the packing and the waiting at the airport and all that, Kaiser survives a restless flight. He tried to read a book during it, but he turned out not to enjoy it whatsoever (catastrophe). Then he turned to Gesner, who was sitting next to him and seemed like he wanted to kill himself, and told him in detail about all the plot problems and why this was what made nonfiction superior.
To Gesnerâs relief Kaiser also spent a good chunk of it trying to sleep, though the endeavor was useless. He closed his eyes and his pattern of anxious cyclical thinking continued and he failed to doze off. What do you think about accountants? Maybe your side piece wouldnât have any tattoos because you secretly find his corny and youâve sworn off tattooed men. âI mean, seriously, just put the eyeliner on like a real man.â Kaiser would bet this is what youâre saying to your friends.
Anyway, again, his flight was spent stirring in ridiculous thoughts in that vein. If nothing else, actually, if you knew what was running through his head, that would be what would put you off of him. But you donât. He needs to just⌠keep it to himself and itâll be fine.
So you find each other after some stumbling and chaos and some vague text exchanges like âwhere are you?â, âAt the airport obviouslyâ, âyou think youâre so funnyâ, and so on, and when you spot each other, you grin upon the sight of him (hard to fake such immediate happiness, Kaiser concludes) and spread your arms out for a hug.
Kaiser rolls his eyes. Youâre so cute, he wants to squeeze you to death, but regardless he puts on a big show of what an inconvenience this is and gives you a stiff, nonchalant embrace. The way you hold him is a small reassurance. Youâre still in public though, so he needs to play it cool for a bit longer, and he reluctantly peels himself away from you.
You interrogate him about his time away while heâs your passenger princess on the way home. Kaiser takes it as a good sign youâre still interested in his life at least enough to ask, as if there was a possibility he was going to come back and you just⌠wouldnât give a fuck about him or what heâs been up to. He keeps his answers vague, trying not to let on the almost daily mental torment heâs been subjecting himself to just because his brain canât stop making up stupid narratives.
Once you two arrive, and only when youâre inside, does Kaiser give into his desire for your affection. He wraps you up in a way tighter embrace without intention of letting go and peppers your face in kisses.
The first time he acted like that with you upon coming back, you were rightfully weirded out, but now youâre used to this whole routine and let him have his moment of rare forwardness.
âYou know,â he says, âI missed you like, a little bit.â
âItâs hard to tell,â you say, sarcastic.
Kaiser ignores it. He bites your cheek. Not hard enough to hurt at all, but itâs a strange sensation.
âSo gross.â
âI hope you werenât doing anything stupid without me. I wouldn't want to miss out on any fun.â
âI wasnât.â
âWhat do you think about accountants?â
You raise an eyebrow at the random question, but humor him anyway. âCanât say I think anything in particular about them.â
âIs that soâŚâ
For some reason, you find his tone to sound suspicious? There is a harder bite â your skin might be a bit irritated around there for a few minutes. You wonder if Kaiser was arguing with management or something somewhere abroad.
___
I just wrote this because I thought Kaiser having emotional impermanence (which is likely) would be hilarious I promise I'll write a more plot-oriented one shot soon again
#kaiser x reader#michael kaiser x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x reader#michael kaiser x you#blue lock x you
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IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO SPECIFY IF I WANTED FLUFF OR ANGSTđđ I want fluffđ
I requested rin (bllk) for "you really have no clue how to talk to women, huh?" OR "we should just run away."
i hope you like it! :â)
youâve been dating rin for almost two years now, but youâve known him for much longerâever since kindergarten, when you told him football was stupid, and he immediately shot back that you were stupid. one âfightâ later, your teacher forced you to spend recess together for a week, and somehow, youâve been stuck with each other ever since.
so by now, itâs routineâannoying him, getting on his nerves, and watching him act like your presence is a burden when you both know he wouldnât have it any other way.
you were the one who made the first move, mostly because you had a slight suspicion he liked you. youâd had feelings for him for a while, and the more you noticed the little things, the more convinced you became.
and when you finally told him, he had the straightest face everâcompletely unreadable. except for his red ears. and the way his throat bobbed when he swallowed.
âŚyeah. you were right.
the only thing he told you after that was a simple âsame,â and the rest is history.
it might not look like it to anyone else, but to you, rin is the sweetest guy. sure, he has a hard time verbalizing his feelings, but you know he cares. itâs in the small thingsâlike when he picks up your favorite beverage from the coffee shop, paired with whatever pastry obsession youâre into that week. or when he sets aside time every week to watch rom-coms with you, even if thereâs a football match on tv.
and then, there are the little gifts. he never calls them sentimental, but you know better. every time he comes back from a city he was playing in, thereâs always something small he picked up for youâsometimes a keychain from a place you both visited together, or a notebook from a city youâd talked about visiting but never had the chance to. each one of them has a connection to a memory between the two of you, something only the two of you would understand, and thatâs what makes them so special.
but verbalizing it? heâs just not the best at it. rinâs pretty cutthroat with everyone, and even though he used to be like that with you when you were just friends, now that youâre more than that, he doesnât want to risk it. he keeps his words to himself, always cautious.
so, when youâre getting ready for your date with him, it catches you off guard when he says:
âthat is a dress.â
âyes. it is,â you reply, still not quite understanding his reaction.
âyouâre wearing it.â
âyes, i am.â
youâve worn dresses around him before, so his reaction is a bit confusing. ârin, whatâs going on?â
ânothing,â he says quickly, avoiding eye contact, though you can tell heâs trying to say more.
âit fits you,â he adds, almost reluctantly, before quickly looking away, clearly not used to expressing compliments.
when you finally understood what was going on, you couldnât stop the laugh that slipped out. âyou really have no clue how to talk to women, huh?â you said, trying to stifle your giggles, but the more you tried, the more it looked like he wanted to disappear into the floor.
âthat movie we were watching the other day, the girl said women like to be complimented by their boyfriends. i thought..â he trailed off, his gaze darting away. âi thought you might want that too.â
you raised an eyebrow, leaning back with a smirk. âoh, so now youâre using rom-coms for relationship advice, huh?â
he scowled, clearly irritated, but there was no mistaking the faint blush creeping up his neck. âshut up. donât make this a big deal.â
you laughed again, unable to resist. âtoo late, rinnie. youâve already made it a thing.â
rin let out a long sigh, clearly trying to hide his discomfort. âcan we just go already?â he grumbled, glancing at you quickly before looking away.
you raised an eyebrow, suppressing a smirk. âwhatâs the matter, rin? never complimented someone before?â
he scowled, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. âi donât do that.â
âright, youâre too cool for that.â you teased, arms crossed.
âiâm not, just, itâs stupid, okay?â rin muttered, still avoiding eye contact.
âso what was that about rom-coms then?â you pressed, enjoying his flustered state.
âi donât need your sarcasm right now,â he shot back, clearly embarrassed but not willing to admit it.
you chuckled, stepping closer to him. âfine, letâs just go, rinnie. but you know, maybe you should try complimenting me more often. youâre not so bad at it.â
rin grumbled under his breath but you could see the faintest twitch at the corner of his lips, just enough to know he wasnât really as annoyed as he was letting on.
âletâs go,â he repeated, his tone still blunt, but you could tell he was less annoyed than before.
you grinned, following him out, because even if he wouldnât say it out loud, you knew he cared.
#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#blue lock x you#bllk x you#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#rin itoshi x reader#rin x reader#rin itoshi x you#rin itoshi x y/n
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Picture Perfect
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Part 1 * Part 2
Pairing: jeongin x reader
Word count: 2,1k
Summary: when Jeongin has a proposition for you, who are you to turn him down? Tags: suggestive maybe, but its mostly setting the scene for the smut in part 2
a/n: Happy birthday to our beloved Innie!! This was supposed to be a one shot, but because I'm not finished yet I decided to upload it in 2 parts. Part 2 will be smut ;)
Everyone in the studio has been excited about Yang Jeongin's shoot today. Itâs all anyone could talk about this week, you included. Youâve been a Stay for a while now and when the call came that youâve been chosen as the intern to work with the head photographer on this particular shoot, you may have fangirled your little heart out.Â
When Jeongin walks into the studio this morning, looking sleepy and a little nervous, you expect to have to coax him out of his shell during the shoot. But boy were you wrong. As soon as he changes into his first outfit and the cameraâs are turned on, it's like he transforms into a different man.Â
You know heâs used to the cameraâs, that he knows how to work them, but you also know how he feels about his body. Heâs always been careful with showing too much skin and even with the Hallucination performance now existing, you didnât think heâd be this confident, this sexy. Not that he shouldnât be. The man is an absolute vision, with and without clothes.Â
All through the photoshoot you can't keep your eyes off him. He's a work of art, perfectly sculptured with smooth skin and muscles in all the right places. It doesn't help that his eyes keep finding yours, holding your gaze, both through the lens of your camera as without it.Â
âIs it just me or does he look at you like youâre his next meal?â Yumi, one of the make-up artists whispers in your ear during the second outfit change.Â
âIâm glad youâre seeing it too and Iâm not going crazy,â you mumble, looking through the photos you just shot.Â
âYouâve been undressing him with your eyes as well, donât pretend like you havenât,â Yumi teases. âBut I donât blame you, that man is fine.âÂ
âDonât let your husband hear you say that,â you laugh. âBut yes he is, look at this.â You show her a picture where Jeongin leans back in the chair heâs sitting on, his abs on display as he has an arm thrown over his head while he looks right into your camera.Â
Yumi whistles through her teeth. âItâs like heâs looking right into my soul, damn girl, this is good stuff. If you donât want him, Iâll take him.âÂ
âYou have a husband, babe,â you repeat. âBesides, Iâm pretty sure he doesnât sleep around.âÂ
Your eyes meet Jeonginâs then from across the room and the way he smirks at you almost feels like he heard what you just said.
During the next break you make your way to the snack table and grab a handful of grapes. You need something sweet to silence the beast inside you and usually food can do the job almost just as well as sex.Â
You grab some grapes and pop them in your mouth, already eying the chocolate on the other side of the table. The flavour of a perfectly sweet grape hits your tongue then and you hum in surprise, immediately reaching out to take some more. Wow, these are good.
Someone chuckles next to you and with flushed cheeks you look up to see Jeongin looking down at you. He has the same look in his eyes as before and his lips are tipped up in a grin.Â
Up close he's even more beautiful than through your camera.Â
'I, uhm, can recommend the grapes,' you stammer dumbly, not knowing what else to say. You quickly pop some more grapes into your mouth so you won't have to talk for a moment.Â
'I have a proposition for you,' Jeongin whispers into your ear as he leans close to you to grab an apple from the bowl on your other side.Â
You nearly choke on the remaining grapes in your mouth and start coughing loudly.Â
What did he just say?Â
A proposition?Â
What the fuck does that mean?Â
Jeongin looks at you with both concern and amusement as you continue to cough, but then he reaches for a bottle of water and unscrews the cap before giving it to you. One of his hands comes up to rub your back and you look up at him with teary eyes, before taking a sip.Â
'Thanks,' you say, clearing your throat. 'I don't think I heard that correctly.'Â
'You did,' Jeongin smiles and he looks around to see if anyone is in hearing distance before he leans in close again. 'And the next time you look at me with tears in your eyes will be when you're choking on my cock.'Â
Your mouth falls open at his words and you nearly drop the bottle of water in your hands.Â
'I--what?'Â
Jeongin just shrugs, giving you a cheeky grin before his eyes travel up and down your body.
'You can say no, but I hope you'll meet me after the shoot.'Â
You blink at him and pinch your arm, not sure if you're dreaming or hallucinating. You must be. Right?Â
Yang Jeongin, Ayen, the maknae of Stray Kids did not just suggest he wanted you to blow him, did he? Because that would be insane.Â
'But- You- I,' you stutter, your brain is definitely having an error at the whole situation.Â
'Me and you,' Jeongin nods. 'I'd like that very much.'Â
At this point you're just gaping at him, probably looking like a fish on dry land. Fucking hell, what did he just do to you?Â
'What happened to sweet innocent Ayen?'Â
'Who said I was innocent?'Â
'Uhm, everyone?'Â
'Have you seen the Hallucination performance?' Jeongin asks. 'Have you been paying attention today?'Â
You scoff at him. Of course you have and he knows it or he wouldn't have approached you, but he just raises his eyebrows and waits for you to talk.Â
Damn Chan for rooming with him. It has to be his fault.Â
'You've been corrupted and I wasn't ready,' you pout.Â
'Or have I just been pretending?' Jeongin winks, taking a bite of the apple you forgot he was holding.Â
'Breaks over!' Your boss yells then and you jump like someone just electrocuted you.Â
'Wait for me after, okay?' Jeongin asks, smiling sweetly before he turns around to get his make-up touched up.Â
What the fuck just happened?
The rest of the shoot goes by in a blur with Jeongin being even more sexy and confident than before and it's driving you insane. It feels like heâs playing with you, with his food, like youâre the prey and heâs the hunter.Â
Your camera is filled with pictures of him biting his lip, rolling his eyes upwards, baring his neck and many more sexual images. Everyone around you is buzzing with energy, happy with the vibe and the pictures that are being shown on the computer screens from both Junhi, the head photographer, and you.Â
You lost count how many times your heart skips a beat as Jeongin looks at you, or rather at your camera, but from your point of view thereâs not much difference. By the end of the shoot you feel hot and your clothes feel too tight against your skin.Â
One by one staff members pick up their stuff and leave the studio. You're being deliberty slow with putting your camera and laptop away and you linger to chat with your co-workers to buy yourself some more time to decide what to do.Â
You'd be a fool to turn down Jeongin's proposal and you desperately wanted to go with him and do anything he wanted, but a small part of you wondered if it was a good idea. You had one night stands before, but being with a world famous idol is new for you and youâre not sure if you feel confident enough to go for it.Â
When Jeongin leaves the studio, his manager on his heels, you stare after him. Will he wait for you somewhere? Will he come back to see if you are still here when more people have left the building?Â
âMiss?â A soft voice startles you.Â
To your left a kind looking man smiles down at you. He's wearing a suit and there's a security emblem on his sleeve. Â
âYes?â you ask, nerves filling your body.Â
âCould you come with me for a moment? I have some questions I'd like to ask you.âÂ
You share a look with Yumi and she shrugs at you.Â
âUhm, sure,â you nod, following him to the hallway. âWhat's this about?âÂ
The man doesn't answer and leads you to a secluded room at the other side of the building. Inside sits another man in a suit and in front of him are a bunch of papers.Â
âHello,â he greets you kindly, gesturing to the seat in front of him. âYou're L/N Y/N?âÂ
âThat's me,â you nod as you sit down.Â
âGood, let's get straight to it shall we,â the man smiles. âYang Jeongin has asked to spend the evening with you, do you agree to this?âÂ
You blink a few times and your mouth falls open in a small âoâ. You should have known that this was about Jeongin.Â
Squirming in your seat you try to ignore your galloping heart as blood rushes to your cheeks.Â
âI agree,â you say, screaming internally at how easy it was to say.Â
âAnd do you also agree to sign an NDA?âÂ
You tilt your head. âWhat would I be signing for?âÂ
The man pushes a paper across the table for you to read. âThe most important thing is that you can't share anything about your night with the outside world, if you do we'll sue you and you'll have to pay a large fine.â
âOkay, so no talking about it. Got it,â you nod, scanning the text in front of you.Â
Itâs all pretty basic. You canât share any personal information with anyone or make any pictures or videos during your stay with Jeongin. It makes sense that they want to protect their idol from any scandals and you weren't planning on telling anyone. Who, besides Yumi, would believe you anyway.Â
âCan I borrow a pen?â
Thirty minutes later you're in front of a hotel door. Your heart is once again beating so fast that it feels like Jeongin would be able to hear it if he opened the door right now. The security guard who brought you up, gives you a funny look when you take three deep breaths before knocking on the door.Â
Stay calm Y/N.Â
Jeongin opens the door within what feels like two heartbeats. He's wearing the same outfit as before, but his hair is much messier. It looks like he continuously dragged his hands through it. Was he nervous? Did he wonder if you would come?Â
He grins when he sees you and steps aside to let you in.Â
âI wasn't sure you'd come,â he says as he closes the door behind you. âI'm really glad you did.âÂ
âYeah?â you smile, shrugging out of your coat and dumping it on the couch along with your bag. âIâm glad I decided to come too, then.âÂ
âYou were having doubts?â Jeongin asks when you turn to look at him.
He has his arms crossed and his eyebrows are raised as he studies your face.Â
âNot really,â you shake your head. âI just have never done anything like this with an Idol before.âÂ
âSo in a sense, Iâm your first?â Jeongin grins, dropping his arms next to his body as he steps closer to you.Â
âI guess so,â you laugh.Â
âI like that,â Jeongin says, heâs so close now that you have to look up.Â
Thereâs a glimmer of something in his eyes that makes your stomach flip. He looks excited, hungry and playful and heat fills your belly in anticipation. You have no idea what to expect from him.Â
âWhat else do you like?â you ask, smirking up at him.Â
âYouâre about to find out,â he says and then he pounces.Â
His lips are soft, but he kisses you hard and fast. He tastes like coffee and cinnamon and when he sucks on your tongue you moan into his mouth. Jeonginâs hands are on your waist and he slowly walks you back until your back hits the door.Â
âYouâre mine for tonight, Y/N,â he whispers against your lips.Â
All decent thoughts and any lingering doubts leave your mind then. You like this confident man in front of you and instead of answering you just moan again and roll your hips forward to collide with his. Whatever he wants, heâll get. Youâre ready to completely give yourself to him.Â
Jeonginâs hands tighten on your hips to keep you still. âWhat do you say to that?âÂ
Your brain takes a moment to come up with a reply.Â
âIâm yours?â your voice sounds breathy and shaky.Â
âIs that a question or an answer?â Jeongin asks, his lips leaving a trail on your neck as he slowly sucks on your skin.Â
âIâm yours,â you say, sounding more sure. âIâm yours for tonight.âÂ
âGood girl.â
a/n: part 2 with the smut will be up either tomorrow or monday at its latest! ;) I hope you liked reading this hehe (sorry i just cant write smut without at least SOME story or warm up lmao) - taglist: @jaeminie-cricket @jeonginsbaee @staylovesmiley @newbbystay @cashtonsbetch @mariahxrrera @kaleigh-2002 @silencionyx @smileykiddie08 @my-neurodivergent-world @yaorzu-blog @yoongiismylove2018 @staytinyluv @bookswillfindyouaway @queen-thiccness @notastraykid @ateez-atiny380 @estella-novella @furfoxsake22 @hyunjinhoexxx @insomnjen @girl-in-love-with-kpop @vivilovesuu @velvetmoonlght @skz8love @corgilover20 @littlelostdemonofthelight @stephanieeeyang @zulie-and-cats @chanshugsaretherapy @pizzalove5000 @dazzlingjade @milie-com @thequibbie @channiesrightasscheek @strawbrriz @delulustardust @velvetskize @channiefever @luvbangchan @aalexyuuuhm @katsukis1wife @herpoetryprincess @ye0lkkot @glitterywastelandgardener @vampcharxter @boi-bi-ahaha @mlink64 @greyyeti @mariteez
#stray kids x reader#stray kids fanfic#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#jeongin x reader#yang jeongin x reader#in x reader#skz x reader#jeongin fanfic#chancloud8 writes
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Cross My Heart
Part 15 - Special Delivery
Summary: eventual poly141 x reader. Enemies to lovers, mini fic. CW: Death, use of weapons, violence, military inaccuracies. AN: I'm sorry but none of you are ready for the next part...
Previous parts - masterlist - next AO3
Enjoy <3
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It feels like every time you walk into a room with them itâs more and more awkward. You feel like eyes are digging into you as you walk over to the table in the room and put the laptop down.
âGive me your boots.â Johnny says coming over to you. Before you even question him youâre already taking them off. âIâll dry them by the radiators.â You nod, Gaz walks up to you as you open the laptop.
âCan you help her set up a keyword search or something?â Price asks.
âWhat are you looking for?â Gaz asks, pulling the laptop towards him. You look over at Ghost sticking a cloth into some part of a broken down weapon.Â
âHere, type in what you want to search for.â He says turning the laptop back to you.Â
âWhat should I search for?â You ask the room.Â
âTry Makarov.â Price asks from the doorway. You type it into the search bar, you have no idea what Gaz has done or how he managed to get it working so quickly. In fact the search part seemed to take the longest. You pull a chair over and sit down clicking through each thing.Â
âJust some emails, nothing really. Theyâre talking about the post being shut down.âÂ
âTry missiles.â Gaz says you nod typing it in if you try Arabic first and nothing comes up so you switch to Russian. Thereâs only one document, you open it and there's a list and pictures of missiles, at the end thereâs a link. You click it and it opens to a video.Â
Itâs Makarov, he's talking about something, it looks like heâs in some kind of lab or something. He picks up a vial of something. Everyone but Ghost have moved over to the table now.
âWhatâs he saying?â Gaz asks.Â
âHeâs talking about a chemical. Those missiles in the garage theyâre-â You stop continuing to listen to him. âChemical bombs, he's using the missile casings to make chemical weapons.âÂ
âIf those are empty shells outside, where are the insides?â Johnny asks.
âProbably with Al Qatala.â You say, the video finishes on a freeze frame of Makarovs face. You look up, Ghost has started putting the weapon back together now.Â
âWhat kind of chemicals?â Price asks. You go back to the document turning it so Johnny can see, he scans over it for a few seconds.Â
âThat's like white phosphorus.â He says pointing at something. âThis is some kind of gas.âÂ
âLike in Urzikstan?â Gaz asks.
âLike Urzikstan?â You ask.
âHe had sarin gas. This is different though.â Johnny says you raise an eyebrow looking up at Price who has his arms crossed with a concerned look on his face.Â
âWhat do we do now?â Gaz asks.Â
âWe send this to Laswell, let her start looking through it. Tomorrow when we follow them to Makarov weâll know more.â Price says then moves away from the laptop.Â
âI can keep looking.â You say moving the laptop back towards you.Â
âLaswellâs programs are faster, besides we need to get some rest. Itâs going to be a long day tomorrow.â He says. You nod pushing the laptop back to Kyle.
âŚ
Everyone wakes before the sun is up. You slept uncomfortably, not because you had no bed and you were basically sleeping on the hard floor. Because Johnny had the building so hot you woke up in a pool of sweat. At least your clothes are dry though, mostly.Â
âTea?â Johnny asks, passing you a plastic cup. You yawn taking it from him.
âCarry tea into a warzone with you all the time?â You ask.
âCause, how would we function without it?â You look over at Gaz sitting next to you, you smile at him.Â
âNo time for a tea break. They could be here any minute.â Price says. You sip the tea anyway; it's sweet and milky not like the kind youâre used to. You get up going over to where all the gear is drying and pick up your vest. Itâs still damp but itâs better than being sodden.Â
You walk over to the window where Ghost and Price are standing.Â
âWhen do you think theyâll be here?â You ask, tightening the vest.Â
âAnytime now.â Ghost says.
âHow are we going to follow them without being spotted?â You ask.
âWeâll take the car they left yesterday, if they do see us weâll hope they think itâs one of them.â Price says. You donât know if that will work but you trust him.Â
âWhen we get there what's the plan?â You ask.Â
âHavenât got that far yet.â Price smiles and turns to look back into the room. You raise an eyebrow, Johnny comes up next to you throwing his arm over your shoulders.Â
âHey, wanna cozy up with me in the back of the car when we leave?â He says winking at you, you feel heat rushing to your cheeks.Â
âYouâre driving.â Price says smiling. Johnnyâs arm leaves your shoulder as he starts to complain. You chuckle going back over to the window.Â
âCâmon, help me pack. You two keep a lookout.â Price says walking past you. You lean up against the window, looking out at the garages.Â
âSo. What's with the mask?â You ask looking over at Ghost, he turns slightly and crosses his arms looking at you. He doesnât answer, you frown at him.Â
âI think itâs cute.â You tease. He scoffs going to look back out the window. âAre you shy or something? You donât seem shy.âÂ
âI donât like people knowing what I do.â He says. Itâs not really a satisfying answer.Â
âWhat, you donât want people knowing you're military?â You ask. He just lets out a sigh. Â
âI get it.â You say looking back out the window. âYou want to keep work and home life separate. Do you have someone at home waiting for you?â
âNo.â He says quickly. âNot anymore.âÂ
You donât press him any further, it feels like youâve hit a nerve. Youâre not waiting much longer, the sun has only just started to break over the horizon when a truck pulls up to the gate. You all make it outside and climb into the car they hid round the back of the building.Â
You all wait in silence hearing the garage doors open and close. Johnny doesnât turn the engine of the car on until you all hear the distant click of the front gates slamming closed. By that point everyone is getting somewhat restless, youâre sat in the back between Ghost and Gaz. Price is in the front with the laptop on his knees.Â
âLaswell thinks they might be heading to an old cold war base a few hours from the border of Kastovia.â Price says. âSatellite images have been promising and Russia has no troops in that region.â
âAnd they would have no reason to lie.â You say raising an eyebrow. You shrug when Price looks back at you.Â
âLetâs move, we donât want to lose them if weâre wrong.â He says gesturing for Johnny to drive.Â
âŚ
Price was right, they end up driving into what looks like an old cold war air base. Grass is peaking through the cracked concrete of the runway. The surrounding fence is rusted and collapsed in some places the buildings look rundown and barely functional but you all watch as one of the doors to one of the hangers open and the trucks drive in.Â
Price orders Johnny to drive round to a forest about a kilometre away from the place and you all get out.Â
âHow can we be sure heâs there?â Gaz asks as he closes the boot of the car.Â
âHeâs there.â Price says confidently.Â
âWhat about the others, The Butcher and Khaled?â You ask as you follow them through the trees.Â
âNo, they havenât been spotted. This is a cold war era building though. Chances are thereâs an underground tunnel system theyâre hiding in.â Price says.
âThat explains why we didnât see many guards.â Ghost replies.Â
âRight, besides I donât think itâs going to be getting in that's the problem.â Price says. You let out a sigh, this feels too easy. It feels like youâre rushing, heâs in that building but like Price said there could be miles of tunnels hidden underneath. He could have a whole army in there just waiting.Â
You follow them in silence listening to them talk strategies. The plan seems to be to go in as quietly as possible, cut the alarms, locate Makarov and take him out. Then confirm where the bombs and chemicals are so the US and Russia can come in and clear them up.Â
It was a plan, not one youâre particularly happy with but itâs a plan nonetheless.Â
âGaz, Soap. You get in to see if you can find a maintenance room of some kind. Something we can use to tap into their systems.â He hands them the laptop. Gaz takes it then they start making their way down to the building.Â
Youâre all hidden behind something you think was once a barn but now there's a tree growing out of it and it's collapsed on one side. Ghost has binoculars looking around the place, the sun is out and the sky is clear which is way better than the thunderstorm from last night.Â
âPlace is quiet. I donât like it.â Ghost says after a few seconds.Â
âMakes our job easier.â Price says. You straighten up when you see the doors of the hanger open again.Â
âEyeâs up Ghost.âÂ
âI see.â He replies. You squint trying to get a better look, you canât see anything really from this distance, you wonder if Soap and Gaz are having any better look.Â
âShit. Thatâs Makarov.â Ghost says handing the binoculars over to Price. He brings them up to his eyes. You see a smile on his lips.Â
âGot you now fucker.â You hear him whisper under his breath as he takes the binoculars down and hands them over to Ghost.Â
âUpdate Soap and Gaz. Iâll get Laswell in the loop.â He says before turning to walk away.Â
âSoap, Gaz. Makarov is heading into the main building.âÂ
âCopy.â You hear Gaz call back. âHowâs our way in looking?â
âYouâre clear. Watch yourselves.âÂ
âAlways.â Soap replies. You turn behind you to see Price talking on a phone. You try to look for them but you canât see them at all. You watch as Makarov makes it into the building with his entourage.Â
âWeâre in, making our way to the building now.â Gaz says.Â
âCopy, watch your step, we have no intel youâre going in blind.â
âCopy, wonât be blind for long though.â Gaz whispers. Youâre holding your breath, your palms have gone sweaty. Youâre nervous, you want to be with them, helping them. What if they get hurt? They know what theyâre doing, theyâve been trained for this.Â
âHowâre we looking?â Price asks as he comes back standing next to you.Â
âWeâre in, looking for a maintenance room.â Soap whispers as if on cue.Â
âGood. Let us know when you have access then weâll move.â Price says. It feels like youâre waiting forever, the seconds feel like minutes, you find yourself constantly checking your watch.Â
âNervous?â Price asks. You look over at him and smile.Â
âNever.â He smiles back nodding his head.
âWeâre in. Looks like Makarov is sitting pretty at the top of the ATC. Can you get a visual Ghost?â You all look up at the tower, you canât see anything from here.Â
âCopy. I see him.â Ghost says after a few seconds.
âWe can override the security and lock him in there?â Gaz asks.
âGood, do it. Any signs of tunnels?â Price asks.Â
âNothing, everything seems to be above ground.â Gaz responds, you look over at Price. It feels too easy.Â
âHow many inside?âÂ
âA few dozen, 30. Maybe 40.â Soap says.
âCivilians?âÂ
âNegative.âÂ
âStay put, we're coming to you.â Price says tapping Ghost on the shoulder.  Â
It doesnât take you long to make it to the part of the wall Soap and Gaz made it though. Ghost and Price are faster than they are. More sure in their movements, they handle their weapons in a way youâve never seen before, its second nature to them. You all slip through a side door and walk into a dimly lit corridor.Â
âWere in.â Price says. You see Soap stick his head round a corner with his weapon drawn before lowering it. You all walk over to him seeing Gaz kneeled down next to the laptop hooked up to what you assume is some kind of server.Â
âGaz, stay here. Guide us, weâll clear floor by floor. Make sure Makarov doesn't try anything. Heâs not getting away this time.â Price says. Gaz nods and the rest of you make it out the room closing the door behind you.Â
âWhich way Gaz?â Price asks as you all stand there looking to him for direction.Â
âDoor to the left will take you through to the main entrance, then right through the double doors will take you into the mess.â Gaz says. âYouâre looking at about 15-20 people.â You swallow hard. Thatâs a lot.
âAre you sure we can take that many people at once?â You ask before you can stop yourself. Soap chuckles and you feel embarrassed.Â
âWeâve dealt with worse odds. Besides, we have an advantage.â Price says. You frown, shaking your head at him.Â
âThey donât know weâre here.â Price says, clicking the safely off his weapon and turning to the left.Â
He was right again. Surprising them was a big advantage. Gaz was good at calling out hazards too. You knew where they were before they could even find you. It felt clinical, maybe youâre used to it now, all the killing. Itâs not hard when youâve done it a few times.Â
You donât think about it, you just shoot, shoot them or they will shoot you. You donât think about if they have a life outside of this. Theyâre the enemy, theyâre making bombs and chemicals to hurt actual innocent people. Â
âMess and kitchen are clear. Youâve got people coming from the west side of the building.â Gaz says. You all get into position before the first few soldiers manage to get shots off. You have to duck under a table slipping on something and fall on your ass.Â
You hear Soap chuckle coming over to you and grab your arm pulling you up.Â
���Change your mag, I'll cover you.â He says. You nod, pulling the almost empty one out and pressing a new one in. The firing has stopped by the time youâre ready to fire again. You look over at the pile of bodies in the doorway. The room stinks of blood and gunpowder.Â
You donât think that is something you can ever get used to.Â
âLooks like youâre clear.â The last few soldiers are with Makarov. I would hurry if I was you. I had to trigger a security lockdown so they couldnât leave the ATC tower. Heâs trying to override it. I donât know how long you have.â Gaz explains.Â
âCopy, weâre moving.â Price says already jogging out the room. When you make it back outside the building you see people coming out of the hangar towards you.Â
âGo weâll hold them off!â Soap shouts grabbing your arm to stop you. You nod at him and watch as Ghost and Price run off towards the ATC tower. You fire off shots with Soap, some are hitting, your adrenaline is pumping and your hands are sweaty.Â
He grabs your arm pulling you to cover behind a roadblock. Now itâs your turn to cover him so he can reload. You look over the block and fire off shots trying your best to make them land. You canât tell if youâre getting better or not. The last one falls as he gets back up.Â
âCâmon let's catch up with the others. You watch our six, yeah?â You nod and follow him up the winding stairs of the tower.Â
You hear an explosion. You both freeze for a second, your eyes meeting before youâre sprinting up the stairs. It takes the wind out of you sprinting up the steps trying to keep up with Soap. By the time you make it to the top you have to brace your hands on your knees and take in lungfuls of air.Â
When you look back up Soap has gone, the doors to the control room are open. You walk in hearing voices.Â
âYou think you can stop us all Captain?â That has to be Makarov, his thick Russian accent cutting through the air.Â
âMaybe not. But weâre going to give it a damn good try.â You hear Price say as a shot is fired. You make it round the control panel just in time to see his body flop to the ground.Â
âGaz, target down. Whereâs the control room in this place?â Price asks as he turns, your eyes meet. Thereâs something different in them now, you quickly look back down at the body. His eyes look dark, focused. This was personal, you swallow hard, your throat feeling suddenly dry.Â
âMain building second floor.â Gaz says. Youâre already turning to move back down the stairs before them. You feel a shiver up your spine. They got Makarov, theyâve got the weapons, now all they need to do is get the Americans and Russians in here to clear the place out.Â
It felt weird, like something had changed between you all. Well something had changed, theyâve completed their mission. You feel a shiver run up your spine remembering the cold look in Priceâs eyes.Â
Itâs not even over yet Jamal and Khaled, they're both still out there, theyâre both probably involved in continuing Makarovs work. He was right, they canât stop them all.
You make it to the control room first Gaz is leaned over a laptop. The room looks out of place almost like they just slammed a concrete box down in the middle of the building, maybe they did. You had to walk through a set of metal sliding doors to get in.Â
âWhere are the others?â he asks looking over your shoulder, you turn to see no one following you.
âThey must have got turned around.â You say.Â
âIâll go get them, stay here.â he says. You nod, swinging the weapon off your shoulder and putting it on one of the tables. You hear them before you see them, they must have not been that far behind. You walk over to the door to meet up with them. It slides shut and you step back for a second then step up again. Nothing changes, you frown looking up at the sensor waking your hand.Â
You sigh, maybe it can only be opened from the other side, you can see them walk into the little room you can only describe as an airlock. This building really is as old as the cold war. When they make it to the door it doesnât budge.Â
They look at you confused.Â
âI donât know.â You say reaching over to press the red emergency open button, it doesnât do anything. Suddenly you hear a hiss and a clank, they all turn watching the door behind them slide closed and lock.Â
An alarm rings out. They look at Gaz who looks down at the laptop, you can see him furiously clicking on the keyboard. Â
âThe whole systemâs gone into lockdown.â He says, you see panic on his face. Fuck. Price looks back at you.Â
âDid you touch anything?â He asks.Â
âNo of course not!â You shout back defensively. Suddenly thereâs another hissing, this wasn't like the one in their room. This one sounds different. You look up trying to place it.Â
âWhatâs happening?â Price asks. You look round, itâs the vents, a few seconds later a thick smoke starts to seep out of them. It almost immediately makes you gag and cough. You bring your arm hand up to block your nose and mouth.Â
You look back at Price, now you can see panic on his face.Â
Fuck.
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touchstarved txt ๨ŕ§
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â summary: every human being needs someones touch.
â warning: mainly fluff, little cursing.
â a/n: this is the first post of my valentines week special. so, happy valentines week to everyone ⥠make sure to treat yourself to something delicious and stay hydrated! âĄ
here's the masterlist to the event ^^
enjoy!âĄ
ââââ âËŕż soobin
soobin who doesn't remember the last time someone touched him like this. not because they had to, (because of fitting or anything relatable to his work) but because they wanted to out of love. the feeling of someone's love with a simple touch almost makes him cry out, melting into your touch the first time you hold him. his whole body going slack against yours as he lets himself relax in your arms. he furrows his eyebrows slightly when he feels you swiping your fingers through his hair, only saying a small please continue as he snuggles into your neck more feeling your warm soft touch. "no one ever held me like this before"
ââââ âËŕż yeonjun
when he started his idol career, he didn't think he'd find true love. always focusing on his dreams, on his members and family. love wasn't the first thing on his mind, but when you came into the picture everything changed. he craved for your attention of every hour of the day,texting you constantly to know you are doing fine and happy. somewhere in his mind and heart, it calmed him to know you are safe. when his schedule let him, he spent every time of his with you, always having an arm around you or his hands caressing yours in his palm. yeonjun usually carefully chooses the people he lets in his personal space, and you are one of them. it was rare to see him act so boldly or affectionate in public, but whenever you feel his hands swiping the hair out of your face of fixing something on your dress always makes you blush uncontrollably. you often think he just put an arm around me and my knees are already giving out i'm so pathetic but in all truthness this is your boyfriend's little game. "i just wanted to see you crave my touch as bad as i do with yours."
ââââ âËŕż beomgyu
he spends almost every free time of his hovering around you. not stalker like, but rather like a curious friend. because he is your friend, and it nearly kills him. he wants you to notice him, to give him a fucking chance, and when you do he basically disappears for days. showing up with a smile days after,saying that he was preparing for your first date and when you see what he has been doing you feel guilt building up on you for not dating him sooner. beomgyu craves your love and touch like its a drug, finding every excuse to touch you. either pulling out a chair for you and touch the base of your back slightly to secure you sit down safely, or teasingly pulling on your hair whenever he has the chance. if he's really down bad for you, he even pulls your hand into his lap and examines your lifeline. "this definately says I'll be in your life for forever"
ââââ âËŕż taehyun
taehyun mostly looks forward to nights.he knows you are home waiting for him, already done with work and busying yourself until he's done at the company. his heart beats the closer he gets to his apartment, because he already knows what is going to go down. he practically feels your hug already, your arms wrapped around him to pull him further into your shared home. he loves cuddling with you on the couch or on your bed, his face smushed against your chest to slowly lulling him into a deep sleep. his heart gives up mid-day when he suddenly remembers how you feel in his arms, wanting nothing more but to go home sooner and be with you. it's like his body psysically craves for you, melting into you the minute his body hits the bed yet again after a long day. there are nights when you have to wait for him so long that you eventually fall asleep, but taehyun always wraps his arms around you to feel like he's home again. "I'm home baby" he then murmurs like you can hear him in your sleep.
ââââ âËŕż hueningkai
kai,someone who always puts his focus on his work suddenly gets annoyed when his balance is wavered. to the point he can't even go to practice without thinking of you, your face suddenly appearing in his mind in the middle of rehearsals. touchstarved kai, who thinks he can get you out of his mind if he works out enough, but this isn't the case. because the minute he sees you again he has to have your hands on him, missing your touch and the way you melt into his body when hugging him. he's just so madly in love. "i needed to remember how your hug feels like" says in a whisper as you basically feel him crush your bones.
important!: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off true events. please do not copy the work.
#kpop#txt#tomorrow x together#txt x reader#txt fluff#txt smut#txt imagines#txt scenarios#txt headcanons#txt soobin#txt yeonjun#txt beomgyu#txt taehyun#txt huening kai#txt hard hours#txt soft hours#tomorrow x together fluff
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part of me wants to look more into this supposed decline of touhou, it's fascinating. but here's what i got now.
1.there are overall less touhou fanworks being made
this is mostly measured by doujin circles that apply to conventions. which, while a big part of it, is not the whole sum, specially since nowadays more people may opt to share their work digitally. also fails to account that conventions had considerably less overall attendance post-pandemic and it's still too soon to tell if that has normalized again.
2.touhou and doujin are more commercial than before (got nothing myself but i'd be inclined to agree, sure. then again things like merchandise have been around for a long while)
3.less quality than before (not really i already went over this)
ok but to be fair there was a dip in popularity somewhere post-UFO right. which is one of the games people like to point out as the downfall, along with anything else ranging from MoF to HSiFS because who gives a shit anyways. but that's a little bit misleading, it's not that there was a dip after UFO, it's more likely there was a peak with UFO. and i did no research on this next point to be fair, other than ZUN's account who largely alleged to it around the time of UM, but like i implied earlier with digital mediums being so prevalent there is the possibility that the decrease in doujin circles on conventions could be the result of a shift in the general landscape and not an observation endemic to touhou.
alright so what about the community. well i'm gonna leave out the bigoted takes (which have significant overlap with the rest i wonder why) because they deserve nothing more than shut the fuck up. everything else is all over the place, these are some of the sentiments i've seen over the years.
cries about secondaries and whatever the fuck a "tourist" is supposed to be. "oh they don't play the games", and if they do it's "oh they don't read the print works" this is just stupid i got nothing else to say about it.
"porn is good" but also "porn is bad and everyone is a gooner" this is also stupid.
"everyone just agrees or justifies everything ZUN does, there's no criticism" sometimes, and that should change. it doesn't signify anything though.
"there's politics now" lol
"touhou should've stayed niche" it's still niche but i know right? it's like this used to be my little corner and now there's all these people i don't know playing with my toys in ways i don't like. come the fuck on man.
and i think that's the thing. it's not about the statistics or the quality or the content or whatever else. either these people have completely shut themselves off on their own volition due to this perception that others are "corrupting" this thing they love (i wasn't kidding about the overlap up there btw), or they don't accept they are just bored with the series and continue to linger for some reason, and instead of moving on to something else they just start looking for ways to justify their disdain because there's no way it's just me it's gotta be ZUN's fault or the fans or this or that. but above all this is nothing new, we've been doing this for almost twenty years, touhou's been dying for twenty years apparently come on.
anyways sorry for the rant. that's my message, if a piece of media is genuinely not making you happy anymore there's no reason to keep engaging with it, no one's forcing you to stay i promise. let go. this should be obvious.
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I've got a few Lacey requests, if you don't mind! Could you do either: 6. or 20. for Jay with a male reader 12. for Lacey with an equally insecure transfemme reader. You can do any or none of them if you like! Thank you for considering!
Jay being your secret admirer
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Pairing:Jay x male reader
A/n:Sorry, I don't write for trans readers just because I'm not trans myself and don't think I could write them well. Hope you still enjoy this. Also, I did this because I wanted to start writing for Jay and Maisie too to celebrate the lacey games trailer. Also, all of my lacey posts will take place in the same au where all of the main girls are dating their own version of y/n cause they need love.
Lately, you've been receiving some weird things on your doorstep. It's nothing creepy, quite the opposite, in fact, it's very romantic things.
It's mostly love letters in which the mysterious sender writes about how much they admire you and love everything about you. They describe everything about you in details and compliments.
The letters are always signed "your secret admirer" and are often accompanied by flowers, your favorite type nonetheless.
While the content isn't creepy in on itself, the fact that your dear friend Lacey had a similar experience with a stalker, which she thankfully managed to get out of, made you uneasy to accept the letters as actual love notes so you decided to talk to your friends about it.
"You have a secret admirer? Dude That's so cool"
"Is it? It kinda makes me uncomfortable"
"O-oh does it?"
"Yeah i mean, remember what happened to Lacey?"
"......yeah"
"It's not that bad, thankfully but still"
"Don't worry if you're ever in danger just tell us, we can help you"
"Thanks girls, you're the best"
"Don't mention it, it's the least we could do"
You all fist bumped each other and then you started talking with Jay, which seemed uncharacteristically nervous
"Hey Jay, wanna go skating today I know-"
"N-no it's fine I'll just hang out with Lacey and Maisie"
You looked at her a bit suspiciously but shrugged and left, saying goodbye to everyone. Jay breathed a sigh of relief seeing you go away, since she probably couldn't have kept a straight face anymore around her crush, but quickly got worried again as she saw her friends approaching her with teasing smirks on their faces
"Soooo when are you gonna tell him?"
"Eh? W-what are you talking about dude, I don't have to tell h-him a-anything"
"..............."
".....is it that obvious?"
"I mean........."
"It's a miracle he didn't find out yet"
".....y-yeah"
"Why didn't you just confess?"
"You have any idea how hard it is? I was sweating just writing the letter"
"But why? I'm sure he loves you too, you two basically always hang out"
"I don't think so, he probably thinks of me as just a friend"
"Why do you think so?"
"I mean I'm not girly like you two I don't think he-"
"Stop it there, Jay, you're amazing in your own way, and if y/n really loved you, then he'll do it because of who you are"
"Oh.....thanks lacey...i-i didn't expect you to say that"
"O-oh thank you, m-my partner says stuff like these all the time to me so......it just stuck I guess"
"Well did you hear her? Go and get your man, it's even valentine's day so it's perfect"
"Yeah! Thanks dudes!"
Jay said goodbye to her friends and quickly skated away to pick up another bouquet of your favorite flowers and one of the letters she had already written, then rang the doorbell to your house and took a deep breath to calm herself as she saw the door opening
"Hm? Jay? What's with......the....flowers"
"Hey dude, i-i mean y/n, so yeah I'm your secret admirer, please don't think I'm weird I wasn't stalking you or anything I just really know your face, a-and was too scared to confess. I want you to know that everything I said in the letters was true, I really, really like you.....a-and so....wanna be my boyfriend?"
"......I'd love to"
".....wait seriously?"
"Of course, I love you too Jay, I never confessed cause I thought you only thought of me as a friend"
"Really dude!? Me too! I thought I was way too boyish to be your type"
"What are you saying? I love tomboys and you especially"
"Really?"
"Yeah, you're so cool, I love how boyish you are if anything, it makes you special and so I love that"
"W-wow that's great! So are we like a thing or something now?"
You smiled and hugged her, making her blush, then proceeded to kiss her on the lips. She loved your lips so much that she couldn't help but feel disappointed when you pulled back
"Does that answer your question?"
"D-definitely"
"OK so now wanna go skate? As a couple"
"Sure thing dude! I bet it feels so much better than skating as just friends"
"I'm sure it does"
#lacey's flash games#lacey games#lacey's wardrobe#lacey's diner#lacey games x reader#lacey's games#lacey's petshop#lacey's games x reader#lacey's flash games x reader#jay x reader#jay lacey games#jay lacey games x reader#jay#jay lacey flash games x reader#x reader#x male reader#male reader#jay lacey's flash games
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So happy to have you back! And again, hopefully no stitches were torn during the consumption of this đâ¤ď¸âđŠš
lolll I don't want to doubt him, but somehow I feel like it's gonna take a lot more than junk food and half-baked charm to win her back on this one. đ
You'd think, but she has known this idiot for a long time. She accepts it with an eye roll and a sigh đ
"Green-eyed chaos theory" is such an apt description, I'm dead! đ It's also conjuring mental images of Jurassic Park Era Jeff Goldblum.
Hahaha I thought that was so fitting for him. Glad you agree đ And omg, yes, total Jeff Goldblum vibes!! lmao
The whole mission of why she's here is so compellingly detailed and feels very authentic. It feels like an episode of what Jensen's new show Countdown might be like!
Ooof, don't remind me all the fanfics Countdown will inspire đ But thank you so much! Huge compliment đĽ°
You know I love my crime and spy stuff. I blame watching too much Homeland for this lol
I love these Colter interjections, because he's thinking the same things I'm already thinking about Russell's mysterious life lol.
Aww, I'm glad you enjoy these. I could totally see him quietly listening with a furrowed brow, trying to learn more about his brother, and then totally go, "Hmm? What now?" loll
We already know from Polaris that I like to fill in blanks đ
God Russ seeing the pictures of their kids on her phone wrecked me. đđđ
I swear everytime I mentioned their kids in this story, I cried đ That's such a tough spot to be in, not seeing your kids and watching them grow đĽ˛
But their conversation went from heartbreaking to hilarious to... *ahem* hawt, to drawing me even more into their complicated web and wanting to know everything that went down between them for them to be estranged like this, yet they're so clearly made for one another. đ
I'm glad their connection came across. I was a little worried since my head has already filled in so much gaps from the prequel that it's hard to tell if it makes sense to everyone else as well đ
And their estrangement was not entirely planned, but I mostly wanted to show that these two are so connected that they knew they can survive a temporary separation. I love playing with the "fated love/soulmates" trope quite a bit lol
Thank you so much for reading, Alex! I hope you feel better soon and can relax a little before life gets crazy again đ¤ŞđŠľ
The Exit Strategy â Part 3
Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, thereâs one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.
Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader
Warnings: 18+, language, some spice & implied smut (incl. a bit of dirty talk), mentions of a terrorist attack, a tiny bit of angst & feels, fluffy fluff
Word Count: 6.8k
A/N: Thank you guys so much for your feedback on the last two parts! So happy I get to finally share this little adventure with you and that you all loved it so much đĽšđŠľ Welp, let's dive in before I get too fucking sappy... đ
Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List
Part 3: This Is a Heart-To-Heart
With pursed lips and a clicking tongue, Russellâs eyes skimmed the seemingly endless aisle of breakfast cereals, his pointer finger drifting from box to box before it landed on the Lucky Charms. His lips rose to a satisfied grin, his heart skipping a beat as a memory popped into his mind.
The supermarketâs PA speakers announced the opening of a third cash register during the evening rush as Colter stood idly by, hands in the pockets of his jacket, and blew a raspberry. In his periphery, Russell could see his younger brother check his watch for the fifth time and smiled a little to himself.
âRuss, uhm, hate to break up your very serious choice of breakfast cereal here, but we need to move. Weâre gonna be late,â Colter finally dared to remind him. Russell had wondered how long it would take. âCanât you do your grocery shopping some other time?â
Russell only chuckled at that. âOh, this isnât that. I need this for tonight.â
âUh-huh.â Colter wasnât entirely convinced. âYou do know weâre invited to dinner, right? Thereâs gonna be food. You donât need to bring aâ,â his eyes narrowed at the item Russell threw into the cart, ââbox of Lucky Charms. Wow. OkayâŚâ Colter scratched the nape of his neck. âYou know, most people bring a bottle of wine. Flowers⌠You want me toââ
âNope, Iâm good.â Russell shook his head. âI have a plan, alright?â
âOh, so now you have a plan?â Colter deadpanned. âWhere was that plan when I got beat up in a supermarket alley?â
Russell snorted a laugh and cocked his brow. âIs that why youâre so jumpy since we walked in here? Did she actually give you supermarket PTSD?â
âIâm not jumpy,â Colter defended with a too defensive shrug.
âWell, alright, Iâm almost done here,â Russell assured him and pulled out a tiny piece of paper with unreadable scribbles on it â his shopping list. âAll I need now are Nacho Cheese Doritos, rocky road ice cream, brownies, and potato chips. Luckily, I already got the beer in the trunk.â
Colterâs frown deepened, but his lips quirked a tiny smile of amusement. âAlright, should I even ask?â
Russell laughed. âTrust me. Those are all the things I need to win her back. I know what Iâm doing.â
Colter relented with a sigh. âAlright, gimme the list. I track down the snack aisle.â
âIf you find them, Iâll give you a five dollar reward, little brother,â Russell quipped, earning him the middle finger as Colter rounded the corner.
Russell exhaled a sigh of relief once he was alone. All afternoon, heâd wracked his brain if he could or should tell Colter about you â about the fact he had a wife and two kids. Was now the right moment? Or had it already come and gone?
And if Russell was looking for a petty excuse, he could just audaciously claim Colter never asked. Never asked if Russell had someone special in his life. Never asked if he was an uncle yet. So, was it really on Russell to offer information that was never asked of him? Now, that wasnât really his nature, was it?
Like he said, petty excusesâŚ
Russell knew it was (mostly) on him. He did give way to the illusion he was a lone wolf without any strings anywhere. At the end of all his pondering, however, he came to the conclusion it was best to let you navigate how to proceed. Youâd always been his compass.
On a late summer evening, with the sun slowly approaching the horizon and dipping the suburban cul-de-sac in shades of golden orange, you found two men on your doorstep: One who only looked familiar despite knowing him almost your entire adult life, and one who seemed familiar, even though youâd never met him before, but some unmistakable features and mannerisms reminded you of your husband.
Said husband beamed at you from ear to ear, carrying two paper bags worth of groceries in his arms. âHey, sweetheart.â
The heart in your ribcage pounded faster as your eyes landed on his smile. Nothing and no one ever broke your composure or pulled the rug out from under your feet â but Russell had always managed to do both since day one.
âWell, I guess⌠come on in, guys,â you said with a small sigh of hesitation and held the door open wider, mentally preparing for an entirely unplanned night â they usually were whenever you spent time with the green-eyed chaos theory.
Never in a million years did you think youâd end up here when you met a young soldier on a sunny day at the American embassy in Iraq and put him through a baptism of enemy gunfire only a few hours later. And to be fair, heâd always been handsome, but the quirky shit didnât reveal itself till later. If Russell Shaw had been a book, you wouldâve definitely misjudged him by his cover.
Russell set the brown bags down on the kitchen island, a small smirk flickering across his plump lips. Internally, you heaved another sigh. Of course the idiot would think about sex â a curse conjured up by your own making. If Russell ever had a bad influence in his life, it wouldâve been you.
âSo, what did you bring me here?â you entertained his little plan, spying into one of the bags. You already had a pretty strong inkling of what might be inside, your heart swelling that he, A, cared and, B, even went as far as making a thoughtful, swoon-worthy effort.
He used to do these things all the time â till it all eventually stopped.
âOnly the best for my girl,â Russell said, chuckling giddily as he hauled a tub of rocky road from a bag as if he was making a bunny appear from a hat. Only in your opinion, it was a way better magic trick.
âOh no, you are the fucking best!â You squeezed his shoulders, short of jumping fully on him, with a grin from ear to ear. Your cheek muscles even began to hurt. You hadnât smiled this much in ages. âLook at this! You even got brownies! Youâre unbelievable, Shaw. You know Iâve been craving this shit for months. Weâre supposed to be an organic family,â you explained with an eye roll, your hands still rummaging eagerly through the bags.
âYeah, I figured somethinâ like this. Remember when you had to pretend to be vegetarian for that greenwashing gala?â
âGod, donât remind me. The asshole served cauliflower steaks and then turned around and shot a fucking lion,â you scoffed, both of you chuckling at the memory. Russell had been right in the chicken coop â it felt like no time had passed at all.
Not touching him and falling into his strong, warm embrace was hard. Not kissing him was harder. And being in his near vicinity without doing any of these things was unbearable. You werenât just important to Russell; he was important to you, too. For a long time, heâd been the only person you could trust and confide in. You never lied to each other â that had been a rule.
âWow, okay, so this is different,â Colter noted, you and Russell both glancing up at the young man across the island. As he was only met with two furrowed brows, he clarified, a finger gesturing to your cross necklace. âJust the-, uh, the whole swearing⌠I mean, at church you were⌠you know.â
You laughed when you realized what he meant. God knows your aliases had confused the shit out of Russell in the beginning, too â till he learned to take advantage of your role-playing skills. Then, he had tons of fun with it.
âYeah, I know. Quite the mind-fuck, isnât it? I usually only pretend to be someone else for a short job â a day or two, a single event. Deep-covers like this arenât my favorite either,â you shared and hoped it would signal to Colter that he could relax. If his shoulders became any tenser, youâd worry they might freeze that way.
âSpeaking of, whereâs your husband?â Russell chimed in with a teasing grin.
For the briefest second, your reply wouldâve been, âWhich one?â Russell could see it, too â the twinkle in your eyes â but then you stopped short when you noticed his look.
Colter didnât know you two were married. Oh, RussellâŚ
âBasement. Finishing up our report,â you said in a quieter voice, turning on the faucet of the kitchen sink.
Colterâs brow knitted with an amused smile when Russell turned on the radio as well. âIs that really necessary?â
âCanât be too careful,â both you and Russell replied, not even noticing you spoke at the same time, too zoned in on your routine.
âWhoâs your mark?â Russell then asked, leaning back against the kitchen island in an angle that shielded his presence from the window as you got to work on your fake dishes.
âCongressman Eric Mueller.â
âA congressman? Really?â Colterâs brow raised before his eyes showed a little intrigue. âWhatâd he do?â
âSelling sensitive national security information to foreign agents,â you answered.
âHowâs the pastor involved?â Russell asked, opening a box of Lucky Charms and stuffing a handful of dry cereal into his mouth.
âHow do you know heâs involved?â
Russell only chuckled at your blatant diversion. âOh, câmon! Youâre an open-minded person. I know you donât hate the man for no reason. So, whatâs the reason?â
You sighed in proud defeat â checkmate for Russell. âMueller is laundering money through the church. Pastorâs taking a cut.â
âAnd?â
âHeâs a pedo,â you finally admitted, dumping a clean plate ungraciously into the soapy water before swinging around to meet Russellâs eyes.
âThere it isâŚâ He nodded with a winning smirk that felt wrong, rubbing a hand through his beard. âThought I caught a bit of a creeper vibe. Figured it was just all the kumbaya Jesus shit.â
âI wish⌠Every time he touches my arm, I wanna cut his hand off with a fucking spoon.â
âWell, we might get to that later if we find the time,â Russell quipped, flicking a marshmallow into the air before catching it with his mouth. You frowned â your son did the same damn thing in the mornings. âWhat information is Mueller selling?â
âSecurity protocols, blueprintsâŚâ you replied.
âTo what?â
âMall of America,â was all you said before the kitchen fell silent. Crickets. Well, and the faucet and radio⌠âOur intel suggests theyâre planning an attack in December.â
âWell, merry Christmas,â Russell huffed bitterly. âSo, thatâs the carrot.â
âYup, thatâs the carrot,â you confirmed.
The lives of innocent children and families going about their Christmas shopping in Americaâs biggest mall was what the agency used to lure you back into the field â the carrot in front of your nose.
For days, you had debated whether to take the job or not, leave your family, and go back undercover to do things no one else wanted to do. But one look through the door at your peacefully sleeping son and daughter made the decision for you. How could you not go? If you didnât do this, other parents might not get the same courtesy of seeing their children safe and sound in their beds and kissing them goodnight. So, you left your children for the sake of others.
Russell nodded with understanding, telling you he wouldâve done the same thing if he were in your shoes. You knew he would have. Still, a part of you felt incredibly guilty, always hoping that Lewis and Amelia would understand someday when they were older.
âWho is it? Russia? China?â Russell asked.
âNeither. Itâs an extremist splinter group. Has ties to both ISIS and Hezbollah, but works mostly out of Iran,â you said.
âHow did you infiltrate Mueller? A guy trying to blow up a mall doesnât strike me as a good Christian,â Russell noted.
âWell, heâs not, but his wife, Clara, is. Sheâs very involved in the church. Was easy to get in this way. I helped her with a few charity events. She got me a job as a bookkeeper for the church, not knowing Iâd actually find a bunch of evidence there. Afterward, she invited me for coffee. Now, we have brunch on Mondays, play bridge on Wednesdays and tennis on Fridays. Iâm at her house all the time. God knows I have the place bugged in every room now at this pointâŚâ
âBridge,â Russell snorted in amusement, earning him a scolding glare from you. âDoes she know?â
You shook your head. âNope, doesnât have a clue what her husbandâs up to. Wonder what that feels likeâŚâ you muttered the last sentence under your breath, Russell narrowing his eyes at you. âHe was in the Navy. Stationed in Pakistan. We think he got approached there. He was probably a sleeper agent till he got elected.â
âHow far is he in it?â
âHonestly, canât say. He might be fully turned or just doing it for the money and glory.â
âGlory?â Colter cocked a brow.
You confirmed his shock with a nod. âThe mallâs in his district. After the attack, the plan is to portray him as a hero who vows to avenge his constituents. Puts him on the map as running mate for the next election.â
âThen theyâd have someone on the top level,â Russell deduced thoughtfully and then found your eyes. âWe can help.â
You felt the creases between your eyebrows deepening.
âYeah, and I already told you â no, thank you,â you huffed, shaking your head. âI didnât tell you all this as a sitrep, Russ. I told you, so you know we have everything under control, and you can leave again.â
âWe both know Iâm not going anywhere,â Russell replied stubbornly, his stern gaze drilling into yours. âI can help.â
Undeniably, Russell, with his expertise and certain skill set, would be a helpful addition. You had never trusted someone more in the field than him. The two of you had been an unstoppable team. After almost twenty years together, you could communicate with just a single look. You knew he always had your back, just as he knew youâd always have his â and in the espionage life, that was probably the greatest asset of all.
However, while your mind all too eagerly agreed with him, your heart protested just as heavily. It was a high-risk, high-stakes operation, and a part of you wanted to protect him and keep him as far away from it as possible. Youâd known that feeling almost your whole adult life â since the day youâd met him, you had wanted to protect him. Whenever you ignored him, shot him down, or even left him, you were always doing it for his own good. Protecting him meant sometimes hurting him.
But the persistent motherfucker never listensâŚ
Bringing your husband into this and turning your children into orphans wasnât your only fear, though. There was still Colter.
âOh, I know you can. I trained you. Remember?â you retorted with a fiery look.
Russell clicked his tongue. âSo, this isnât about me. Itâs about him.â
âOh, âcause Iâm not one of you guys?â Colter quirked a brow and assured you with easiness in the shrug of his shoulders, âI can handle it.â
Ignoring him, your focus stayed on Russell â the culprit. âYou brought a fucking clueless wildcard into a clandestine operation! No offense, ColterâŚâ
âNone taken,â Colter said with pursed lips.
âBad move, Shaw,â you continued directing your anger at your husband.
âI can vouch for him. Heâs good, alright? Trust me. He helped me out with something before. And just recently, he even stumbled onto a DoD black site,â Russell reasoned with a weak chuckle like he was sharing the family newsletter.
Your frown intensified. âYeah, the word stumbled really fills me with tons of confidence here.â Then, you expelled a deep sigh. âLook, I know you two had a weird fucking childhood, but you, of all people, know itâs not the same thing! He isnât trained for this.â Your eyes then drifted to the younger Shaw. âNo offense, Colter, but if I ever need someone to kill a bunny, I call.â
âLittle offense taken,â Colter quipped with a creased brow.
âI assure you heâs good, alright? Great, even,â Russell said, stepping closer to you. Your heart jittered, the movement like dominos that fell a path from your ribs up your spine and down your arms where goosebumps formed in their wake. âEverything he doesnât know, Iâll teach him on the road. You donât have to worry about a thing, sweetheart. Shaws are excellent at improvising. Remember the helicopter?â
âI remember screaming and wishing to die quickly for two hours straight.â
Russell pursed his lips, hiding an amused smile.
âYou can fly a helicopter?â Colter asked, brow rising in genuine interest. He slightly leaned forward as if to hear better, cherishing those bits and pieces of his brotherâs mysterious life. He hoped one day he wouldâve collected enough of them till the nonsensical puzzle matched the picture on the box.
âYup,â Russell grinned boyishly, wagging his eyebrows. âNamed her Birdie. She was a beauty.â
âShe was a piece of shit. And he couldnât fly at the time, hence all the screaming on my part,â you clarified.
âShe made me take flying lessons after, but honestly, I had a pretty good handle on it the first time round,â Russell bragged, earning him another frown from you. His irresistibly green eyes then bored into yours. âBut it worked, didnât it? Weâre both still here, right?â
You exhaled another long sigh. You hated when he was right.
âJust take tonight to think about it, okay?â
âFine, Iâll think about it,â you softened, feeling a warm palm gently splay across your back â slightly lower than a friend would place it. You knew Russell was lulling you into agreement â you had taught him that damn trick yourself â but you couldnât deny it felt so, so, so nice.
âCâmon, ice creamâs melting. Letâs get some unhealthy food into you before you chew someone elseâs head off,â Russell teased.
âI am kinda hungry,â you admitted in a meek mumble.
âOh, I know. I can tell.â Russell chuckled behind you and kissed the top of your head, his arms snaking around your waist.
Fuck. It felt too good. Too familiar.
You wanted his hands to wander down, fingers lifting your skirt, brushing along your inner thighs on their way up. You wanted his head buried between your burning legs, fingers bruisingly gripping your hips while his tongue dipped into your heat. You wanted him to step even closer, tear your lace panties down, pry your buttcheeks apart, and take you hard and deep.
God, you hadnât had sex in forever. Who could think clearly like that?
Swaying out of his embrace, you grabbed one of the paper bags and looked at him suggestively. âWanna take this downstairs? I have to show you something.â
Russellâs lips twitched with a smile. He knew what it meant â not here.
His gaze then drifted to Colter. âYouâre gonna be alright up here for a while?â
âIâm good.â His little brother nodded with a shadow of a smile as if he had only waited for the moment the two of you would excuse yourselves and retreat.
âIâll send Tom up here. Have him brief you,â you said, both brothersâ eyes then blinking at you.
âDoes this mean Iâm in?â Colter asked.
âIf you want to, youâre in,â you stated and muzzled a sigh.
Colterâs head bobbed for a moment, a hand scratching his throat. âWell, not exactly something you say no to.â
Russell and you shared an amused look and both replied, âWe know.â
âOh, Tomâs also made some lasagna. Iâll tell him to feed you,â you added kindly.
âThank you.â Colter matched your smile.
âWhoa, not so fast,â Russell threw in, pointing an accusatory finger at you. âDid your cute little hands have any involvement in the making of said meal?â
âNo, Tom wouldnât let me get near it,â you huffed with an annoyed eye roll.
âSmart man,â Russell quipped and then turned to his younger brother. âYou should be safe to eat it, then.â
His joke earned him a whack of his chest from you.
âOw!â
Russell followed you down the creaking wooden steps to the basement. The walls were still raw, the giant room unrenovated. In passing, you switched on the washing machine for an adequate noise level and pulled back the thick, navy curtains to reveal a whole setup with desks and computers.
Russell whistled lowly, green eyes flashing around the room. âGot the whole spy gear down here, huh?â
âYup.â
Sliding an old artwork to the side, you entered a code into the wall safe. It held mostly sensitive information but also some personal items. You retrieved your private phone before locking it again. You scrolled through your photos until you found what you were looking for, handing it to Russell.
As soon as his eyes landed on a picture of his son on a swing set â with a grin brighter than the sun and one that looked just like a copy of his fatherâs â Russell inhaled sharply, his grip on the phone tightening.
âHe looks like you,â you said softly, leaning your head against his bicep, tangling your arms around his. Then, you swiped to the next picture. âThatâs Amelia on her second birthday. She liked blowing out the candles so much, I had to light them seventeen times in a row,â you giggled. But Russell only swallowed thickly, quietly laying the phone down on top of the dryer. You could see the tears well in his eyes again. âWas this too much? Iâm sorry.â
Russell shook his head, offering you a sad smile. âNo, uhm, itâs too little.â
âYeah, I get that. Feels like they change every time I turn around. Bet theyâre already looking different now,â you said with the same regret-filled sadness in your voice.
âWhen this is over, you think I could see them?â
The hopefulness shimmering in his green orbs devastated you, adding a few more cracks to your already damaged and bruised heart.
âOf course you can. You can see them as much as you want,â you assured him. âMaybe Amelia first? Sheâs still little. I mean, itâs justââ
âNo, I get it,â he brushed off your concerns with an easy smile, but you could see all the hurt underneath it. âLewis is older. Itâs more complicated. He probably doesnât even remember me.â
âRuss⌠Of course he remembers you,â you said. âYouâre his dad. He has a picture of you on his nightstand. He talks to you every day.â
Russell snorted a humorless chuckle, the guilt eating him alive from the inside out. âKinda makes it worse, doesnât it?â
âI donât think it does,â you replied, smiling softly. âHe missed you. We all did.â
Russellâs lips on yours took you by surprise, reminding you of the first kiss youâd shared â only back then, the roles had been reversed, and heâd been the shocked one.
The kiss was gentle and tentative, nothing hasty or thoughtless about it. He still tasted the same. He still felt the same, even though the beard tickled slightly. His large hands cupped your face â a perfect fit â his thumb sweetly caressing your cheek as he pulled back, hazy pine green eyes searching for yours.
âSorry,â he said with a rather unapologetic smile and a bob of his Adamâs apple. âCouldnât hold back any longer.â
âItâs fine,â you mumbled with a half-hearted shrug and tiptoed up to claim his lips again, your arms draping around his neck and pulling him closer.
What started slow and careful became a fever dream when your tongue slipped inside his mouth, his hands wandering down your sides till they reached their rightful place on your lower back. Your mind flooded with every kiss, every touch the two of you had ever shared, your heart close to bursting because it had found its missing piece again.
As he drew back, his nose brushed yours, his fingers lovingly tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear. His eyes then focused on the top of your head. A smile rose on your lips, guessing his intentions.
âCan I?â
You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. âGo ahead.â
Carefully, he lifted the wig from your head, and a few sorries and giggles later, the fake hair was gone. Removing the hair clips and tie, you gestured with your chin to the desk.
âCan you hand me that blue case?â
Russell grabbed the small case and turned to you with a cheeky smile. âEye drops, too?â
You nodded, and he came back to you with the requested items. Pulling your eyelids open with your fingers, you took out the colored lenses, placing them back in their case.
Russell held up the eye drops. âWant me to do the honors?â
You giggled and gave him another nod. âYes, please. You know I hate doing that stuff.â Russell then gently pulled down your eyelid as you tilted your head back. âGod, this feels so sexyâŚâ
Russell laughed, the sound reverberating deep in his chest. âYouâre always sexy. Doesnât matter if Iâm giving you eye drops or stitching you up.â
âThatâs sweet, but shut up. We both know youâre lying. Youâve sewn me back together in some pretty rough states,â you remarked, but your cheeks couldnât stop from rising higher and higher.
âAnd vice versa,â Russell said simply, administering the last drop into your right eye.
âUgh, fucking burns.â You sniffled, blinking your eyes a couple of times till the sting subsided.
Russellâs hands then cupped your cheeks, bringing your focus to him. He smiled at you, bright and warm. âThere she is,â he said softly, his voice only a whisper. Your heart tugged in your chest, trying to squeeze itself through your ribs just to be closer to him. âMissed those beautiful eyes.â
âYouâre so cheesy,â you teased and pressed your lips on his, slow and sensual â careful. As you glanced up at him, your heart cracked a little more again, your eyes welling up and burning with tears.
âHey, what is that? Why are you crying?â Russell worriedly checked on you like you were a kid with a fever, his thumb catching a salty teardrop that had escaped.
âItâs the eye drops,â you replied lightheartedly in a last ditch effort to hide the all-consuming guilt in your stomach.
Russell sent you a kind smile, stroking your cheek. âI donât think itâs the eye drops, sweetheartâŚâ
âIâm so sorry, Russ. I didnât mean to hurt you. I thought I was helping youâŚâ
âI know. I knowâŚâ he soothed and opened his arms. âCâmere.â As you fell into his embrace, he kissed your crown repeatedly, his arms holding you just as tightly as you held onto him. One palm patted the back of your head, the other rubbing your back in soothing circles. âI know you did, okay? And I know why you left. It did help, you know? To get my own head outta my ass⌠Just one of those things, I guess. Didnât know I needed to hit rock bottom first before realizing what Iâd lost. Iâm only sorry I didnât get my shit together sooner.â
Swallowing, with an ear on his chest, you listened to his heartbeat for a moment â steady, strong, safe. There wasnât one single person in this world that could give you what Russell always could â comfort. It was what you wanted the most, what you needed during your worst times, and what you goddamn craved, always.
âYou know, when you didnât come back after a year, I was scared you finally found what youâre looking for, and it wasnât me,â you admitted quietly, swallowing.
Before Russell, you barely ever shared your true feelings and thoughts with anyone, not even family and friends. Your heart, mind, and soul stayed hidden like your personality, your identity, and everything else that made you you. But Russell had always seen beyond the walls, the masks, and the aliases.
He drew back slightly, the hand that tangled in your hair lifting your head till you met his eyes and their loving crinkles. âNever gonna happen,â he assured you with nothing but honesty in his gaze. âYouâre it, baby. You know Iâm a one-and-only kinda guy,â he quipped, flashing you his signature grin. âYouâre everything I ever wanted, sweetheart. The only family I ever had, really. I shouldâve told you that sooner. Maybe you wouldnât have left then.â
âThis is soon enough,â you said and pecked his lips. âWhy didnât you tell Colter about me? Or the fact that heâs an uncle?â
With a sigh, Russell grabbed the brown paper bags, the ice cream in it surely melted by now, and settled down on the raw concrete floor, leaning his back against the rumbling washing machine. âWell, if weâre gonna talk, we might as well do it old school. Sit down. Eat,â he ordered you.
Taking a seat next to him, you grabbed a container of room-temperature rocky road and opened it. âWhoa, that is soup, yep!â you exclaimed with a laugh.
âEh, itâs better when itâs melted anyway,â Russell remarked.
âSo trueâŚâ
âHand me the Doritos.â
âYup.â
Quietly, you and Russell then created your dish like the two of you were parodies of Gordon Ramsey on the comedy channel, and only after savoring that first bite of rocky road cream soup with Nacho Cheese Dorito sprinkles (the croutons to your meal if you will), did you stray back to topic.
âSo?â
âRight, uhmâŚâ Russell scratched the back of his neck.
You snorted in amusement. âYou always do this, you know.â He raised his brow, giving you a sideways look. âYou change the subject and distract me in that cutesy way of yours.â
âI donât think Iâm cutesy.â
âYou were twenty years ago,â you countered with a fond smile and took a crunchy, spicy spoonful of your soup. âI still see you that way sometimes, you know?â
âGod, I hope not,â he groaned, chuckling. âThatâs just horrifying.â
âYou werenât so bad. Pretty sweet, actually.â You shrugged, the hint of a smile tugging at your lips. Russell had always been the lost little duckling that had imprinted on you.
He smirked, but his cheeks betrayed him by turning sweetly red. âYeah, thatâs how I lured you in.â
âI donât think you did much luring, big guyâŚâ you retorted. âYou had zero game.â
âWhat?!â
âOh, câmon, Russ⌠This canât come as a surprise to you,â you said, giggling.
âFine,â he caved with a roll of his eyes and chuckled lightly. He scratched the scruff on his throat. âGuess I was a little nervous that night. You were really intimidating.â
You snorted a laugh. âI know.â
ââM glad you made the first move, though.â
âI made all the moves,â you corrected teasingly. Your gaze then fell pensively to your lap, where your fingers nervously fumbled. Your heart jolted once, like the jump start of a car. âSo, uhm, you know⌠were you making any moves on other people?â
âPeople?â
âWomen,â you clarified and pursed your lips. You didnât look at him. You knew he would probably find your discomfort amusing.
âAh.â Russell smacked his lips, trying his hardest not to grin. Then he looked at you â brow raised in an almost scolding manner, but his lips curved upwards and gave his act away, dimples barely hidden by the beard. He held that gaze till you finally met his green eyes. âHave you not been listening to me before? I told you â thereâs only you, sweetheart.â
Your brows drew into a frown. âDonât sweetheart me. Itâs been three years, Russ.â
âSo?â He twitched his broad shoulders. âYou know thatâs not a problem.â
âWell, that was beforeâŚâ
Russell snorted loudly. The crinkles around his eyes doubled as he rubbed the tears out of them. âWhat, you think sleeping with you has suddenly awoken the dragon?â
âYou donât have to make it sound so ridiculous,â you muttered.
Russell licked his lips, nodding. âWell, news flash â youâre the only treasure for this dragon, baby.â
You stifled a gasp. âI said less ridiculous!â
His grin only broadened, but then he apparently decided to let you off the hook. âLook, in the past three years, has there been opportunity and maybe a little flirting? Sure. But nothing ever came of any of it. Twice, I came scarily close to kissing someone, but I bolted. Wanna know why?â
âYes? I thinkâŚâ you replied hesitantly, causing that infuriating smile of his to rise again.
ââCause all of it felt like cheating on my wife. So, are we done with this now?â
Defiantly, you shrugged him a nod, but your heart pumped warm, fuzzy happiness into your veins before Russellâs next question made them freeze again.
âBigger question is, did you kiss a few toads? Or, you know, did some quacking?â
Your lips rose till dimples formed and your cheeks started to hurt. âPlease let me be there when you give the kids the sex talkâŚâ
âOkay, donât even try to change the subject now,â he chided playfully. âI just meant out of the two of usâŚâ
He choked on his words when you narrowed your eyes to a small glare.
âOut of the two of us what, Russell? Please finish that sentence.â Your voice rang with challenge.
âNothing.â Sheepishly, he scratched the nape of his neck again. âI just meant that, you know, youâre the one who has more, uh⌠experience in that area.â When your glare morphed into daggers, he swallowed thickly and corrected course, clearing his throat. âWhich, you know, Iâm real happy about because God knows Iâve profited greatly off of it.â
âAre you slut-shaming me right now?â
âNope, mm-mm. No, maâam.â Russellâs lips pressed into a thin line. Then he muttered under his breath, âNot like youâve sent more soldiers off to war than Bush⌠Ow!â
Russell rubbed the burning spot on his chest where you had punched him.
âThat one hurt this timeâŚâ he groaned.
âGood.â The daggers in your eyes blunted back to a frown. You let out a sigh. âYouâre an idiot. Please move on.â
âYes, maâam.â With curled lips, Russell bobbed his head. âSo?â
Musingly, you then rolled your eyes to the ceiling, your head falling back as your tongue darted out between your lips. âAlright, letâs see⌠In the last three years, Iâve slept with one, twoâŚâ you muttered and then mouthed till #4, beginning to count on your fingers.
âOh, stop it! You think youâre real funny, young lady, huh?â Russell huffed.
When you saw his exasperated expression, you bursted into laughter, the sound echoing off the bare concrete walls.
âCâmon, I had to,â you choked out your excuse between belly-crippling laughs and hysterical snorts. âIâm a single mom of two small children. Iâm thankful if I get five minutes in the shower alone.â
Russell laughed a little too, but his heart flooded with relief. The thought of you with someone else had gnawed on him for some time, sharp little bites that pricked his soul. He didnât know what he wouldâve done if it were true â well, aside from dissecting amphibians.
âAlmost gave me a heart attack, sweetheart,â Russell chuckled. âCanât do this to me anymore. That was a young manâs gameâŚâ
Instead of uttering an apology, you captured his lips, kissing him till his head spun even more. His breathing quickened, his heart clinging to every last bit of oxygen when your tongue slipped past his lips. His hands tugged on your hips only all too eagerly until he had pulled you into his lap. Your legs straddled his muscular thighs, your clothed cunt rubbing against the growing erection in his jeans. Your underwear soaked at the thought of him splitting you open.
âMake me cum,â you sighed into his ear, nibbling on his lobe. âWant you inside of me again.â
âYouâre killing me here,â he groaned as you kissed your way down his throat, teeth grazing over his skin. His fingers twitched with an itch to crawl up your thighs, push any obstruction to the side, and plunge right into your surely wet and waiting channel.
âGood,â you smirked, rocking your hips harder against his bulge.
âSweetheart, Iâd love to, but youâre not exactly quiet.â He chuckled against your lips. âWeâd have to blast some death metal on the highest volume for the neighbors not to hear. Doubt they ever heard those sounds coming outta this house.â
With a frustrated huff, you relented breathlessly and slid from his warm lap back to the cold, empty space next to him, cursing the bad timing.
âFirst time I stitched you up was pretty memorable,â Russell noted after a labored minute, a tiny smirk tugging on his lips.
Your cheeks blushed, your chest still heaving with panting excitement, but you matched his mischievous smile with your usual cocky attitude. âBet it was. I looked hot in that towel.â
âYeah, you did. Had a pretty massive boner the whole time. Was surprised you never noticed,â Russell said.
You grinned. âWho says I didnât?â
âOh, I know you didnât, or you wouldâve jumped me right there in that bathroom,â Russell teased.
Gasping, you slapped his arm. âI did not jump you!â
âYou kinda did.â Russell only laughed harder, with that same boyish grin he always carried when he was happy. âAll you wanted was to pull my pants down and hop on for a quick fix.â
âReally? Are you done now?â you playfully scolded him. âAnd excuse me for wrongly assuming a soldier whoâd been stuck in the desert for months with a bunch of other dudes might want sex if the opportunity arises.â
Russellâs boisterous smirk only grew wider. âYou wanted me. You had it bad.â
The heat in your face was burning, your tongue poking the insides of your cheeks. âAlright, I donât think you need an ego boost, Shaw.â
âStill think Iâm handsome?â he asked you with a nudge of his elbow.
Pursing your lips, you musingly narrowed your eyes at him, assessing him in jest. âI donât know. You are a little more rugged these days. The beardâs definitely a midlife crisis.â
Amused, Russell quirked an eyebrow. âMidlife crisis?â
âYeah, whatâs next? Buying a ridiculous car and brewing beer in your basement?â
âActually, I brew it in the trunk of the ridiculous car.â
Your brows drew together. âShit. Really?â
Russell laughed loudly, throwing his head back. âYeah, really.â He then a hauled a bottle of unlabeled beer from the bag, handing it to you. âTaste it. Itâs good.â
âIf it tastes anything like that schnapps you made in that Guatemalan prison, then no thank you,â you retorted, uncapping the bottle and taking a sniff.
âI promise this wasnât made in a designated pee bucket, alright?â Russell laughed. âJust drink it. Tell me what you think.â
âAlright, here goes nothing,â you mumbled and took a hesitant, quick sip. Then you took another longer one, squishing the liquid around in your mouth. Your brow raised. âHuh. Not bad,â you remarked, watching Russellâs grin widen. âWhy do I taste marshmallows?â
Russell then fully beamed at you. âKnew youâd get it. Took me a while to perfect it. Wasnât easy, you know? The secret is only adding one of those little Lucky Charms marshmallows. First try, I used the whole pack. God, that was gross.â
âThatâs actually pretty genius,â you said with an impressed smile.
âWell, if it is, I kinda owe it to you. You were the OG food genius.â
Smiling, you leaned back against the washing machine with a small sigh, your head dropping to his broad shoulder as you snuggled up against him. He opened his arm and pulled you closer as you nursed your sweet-tasting beer. Russell placed another kiss on your temple, calloused fingers gently caressing your skin.
âWhen did this job get so hard?â
âWasnât it always kinda hard?â Russell answered your rhetorical question, mumbling half his answer into your hair.
âGuess so. Didnât always feel that way, did it?â
âNo, we had some pretty good times,â Russell said with a warm smile and pecked your crown once more.
âYou think weâre bad people?â
Russellâs absentminded gaze dropped to you then, now fully focused. âWhatâs bringing this on, hm?â
You only shrugged in his embrace.
âAlright, Iâll play,â Russell said and then hummed. âWell, weâre not the best peopleâŚâ
âI was hoping for a little more reassurance,â you said with a playful huff.
Russell chuckled softly. âLook, we always did what we thought was right. And weâve seen real bad⌠evil. I donât think we fall into that category, sweetheart.â
You nodded against his chest. âI guess soâŚâ
Part 4: This Is Not an Exit
One of the things I loved writing most about this series were the deep conversations between all characters, but especially this one in the basement. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did before we break some, uhm, news to Colter next week đ
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yeah okay wise guy. *neopets your kingdomhearts*
PART 2 HERE
#kingdom hearts#kh kairi#kh sora#kh riku#neopets#i do really wanna do more of these#mostly because i already know what i want to make like. everyone already#and also because chia demyx would be really fucking funny#snowflakebottlesart#the great un shadowbanning of 2023
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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all
#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him#it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain#I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded#what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually#'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically#on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here#it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside#ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me#'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training#('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house#(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love#the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me
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I have Got to get more transgender
#100% ŃокŃĐľŃĐ˝ŃĐš дновник ĐťĐľĐ˛Ń ĐРЧĐТĐĐ#transmasc#trans ftm#transgender#i like 2 say i'm very trans already but unforch i am Not Really. mostly boring ftm Guy Ever#so tempted to cut my hair again but my sense of what i look like is already so fuzzy i dont think it'd help..#want to dye my hair anyways. at this point i'd take whatever color i can get if not purple LOL#it's almost everything i could want and yet ... still me. still the same life. stuck.#soooo high functioning like you wouldnt believe EXCEPT istg i need an emotional support human who will guide me through tasks#such as 'pay with your Moneys Card at the Store'#or... idk that's it really. maybe go grocery shopping without feeling like i'm not meant to be there also#or like. exist in general maybe#reasons why not emotional support Animal: creature cannot understand capitalism. and also is not as necessary as a service dog specifically#idk! every time i come on here i fall apart (in text) and then pull myself back together for another day of ... this i guess.#i'm not even having like crying breakdowns or anything to go along with it i'm just held inside this shell of a body. typing away again#i'm soso tempted to make things worse. progress wouldn't matter anymore... at least maybe it would feel real that i'm like this#i wish my face fit on my body right. and also that i did not look quite so much like a vaguely gnc lesbian#like at LEAST let me look butch as hell but no. curse of sad hair & uncertainty#miss my little mullety thing from that brief period in october... miss my short hair from back in 2017 ...#just dont feel satisfied with what i am now. in general.#top surgery is literally Within my reach but i'm not sure about cost and i need to wait because of doing guard now......#my list of do i want t i kept for the past month turned out to be a bunch of maybes#partially cause i got sick. partially cause it stopped being shark week and i forgot about it#as always happens...#still unsure in my new(er) name. only heard it once#didn't feel the same way as with my old one? but idk. just don't know.#missing guard also but feeling conflicted about not having time for other hobbies...#since winter season is over i've had so much time to play guitar! that's insane! mostly cause i stopped playing for unrelated reasons...#just tired again. wonder if i need more sleep than what i always get. kind of restless.#there's nothing else to say i guess. just wish i could be a person the way everyone else seems to be.
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Stop they are so cute!!!
I Love Error's introduction! Because it made sense!
Sure he is learning to be a royal mage but he is a kid! Before the focus was on work and training. and While Nightmare cared before he wasn't the right person to keep his eyes on a kid.
So Error was left to do his own thing and have fun with some meetings once in a while mostly to make sure he didn't blow himself up and to make sure he still felt taken serious and on track to be a Royal Mage.
It makes sense that Error's role in this story didn't grow bigger until Error himself was most invested. Which he only became because Ngihtmare become younger and Error became interested in Nightmare as a person. Which is now.
And I love that overal Error was very calm about it. He was confused and needed a moment to test some things to figure it out but overal he is used to seeing weird stuff. Geno was his brother and did the most unbelievable stuff with magic. Error has seen a LOT.
So of course Error goes back to his room to try and understand this. Because he knows that Geno told him not to mix magic types. Or at least not alone. Yet he saw nightmare do stuff like that.
So he tries it. and it backfires SO QUICKLY.
Which just makes error see nightmare as more amazing as before! (I love that nightmare has -3 magic int now lmao.)
I love that Nightmare just isn't telling everyone that this hurts and that is why no one is stopping him. Error is one day going to mention it and nightmare is going to be stopped from doing this SO QUICKLY.
(also i LOVE LOVE LOVE that Geno fucked around with other traits too much and caused his own skull cave in. i love that he never admitted to his brothers what happened, the fact he made his soul situation worse! Which means i love his character development even more because that means that now and with the mountain he was smart enough to get people and healers to check himself to make sure he is okay.)
and i am so honoured you took a page out of my book hihi! and yes! seeing them all interact and treat magic differently is so fun!
and poor Nightmare spiralling. so worried for so many different reasons! (and ccino trying to calm him because he knows by now that error needs time to deal with stuff and think stuff through)
nightmare going out of his way to meet up with error. trying to connect with him and give error what he wants.
Not realising that error is already shifting gears and just wnats to connect with him more at this point even if error isn't truly aware of it yet.
Hell just SEEING nightmare got error motivated and inspired enough to make a thing. just for fun! Knowing that ngihtmare is stuck working error went out of his way to make something for him. just for fun! to be pretty and loud and just something to enjoy!
and when he shows it off. Errror just looking at nightmare stare at it. that being enough. not even feeling the need to go all up into detail about it.
These two are so cute together! I love them so much!
New Age AU Drabble (Lonely)
Hello everyone!! Welcome to the next drabble I swore I was going to write! This one I'm very fond of, because it involves the two who kickstarted this whole thing, the King and his Royal Mage (in-training)-
This happens some time after Nightmare's reversal to his new age, so it's basically the next one in chronological order for the main story drabbles!
@ancha-aus @mutzelputz @papiliovolens Hi guys!! Welcome back :)
Ping
Error glanced up from his project when the little tingle of his magic blinked into his awareness. Someoneâs outside? He looked over at the heavy door that separated the cool space of his study from the stairs which led down to the main floors of the castle. On his end, it was absolutely tangled in blue wires, like his own little spider web. Though, to be fair, the rest of the room wasnât faring much better. Heâd certainly taken the chance to make the space his. The king had told him to, after all! Much better than the tidy room his brothers always made him help cleanâŚ
Blue strings lashed out from the ceiling and wrapped around his current project, wrapping securely around it before tugging it, his knitting needles, and the notes he had scattered all up into the loft space shrouded in shadow above him. It was just a lot safer to keep all his projects up there, out of his way until he needed them. Out of sight of his rare visitors. He couldnât show them something that wasnât ready! That would be embarrassing! Not Royal Wizard behavior at all.Â
As his project rose, Error rolled onto his back, popping his spine before making an effor to stand up himself. How long had he been laying there? Normally heâd have been up in one of his hammocks, but this project required he keep it level until a later step, so heâd decided that the soft rug on the floor and a few blankets would have to suffice. Had it been an hour or two? Knowing him, probably much longer. He didnât like pulling back the curtains, his strings didnât glow in the darkness if he did. Infusing magic worked a lot easier for him in the dark.
He glanced to the door again. Thirty seconds and there hadnât been any more pings? It had to be someone he actually halfway wanted to see, then. Darn.Â
Error crossed the space, stepping over a few loose supplies, and around a few of his hanging strings, until he came to the door. As much as he wished he could ignore this person, he knew better. So, he gripped the solid iron handle and swung the door inwards towards him.Â
Stood outside on the landing of the stairs was Sir Dust.Â
He wasnât an unwelcome sight, but he definitely wasnât an expected one either. Lately, itâd been that Ccino guy showing up to his door unannounced, bringing him meals or just checking in on him. Sir Dust had been there the day he was hired, the knight doing his best to encourage Error to not make stupid, rash choices. Fortunately, given that chance to think, Error had been able to return with a smart and rash choice instead! Which, might he add, landed him this sweet gig for royalty. That was why, when Dust came around, Error didnât turn him away. His magic was powerful, and despite being small, he was really cool.Â
âError.â Sir Dust greeted. âBrought dinner. Ccinoâs been busy.âÂ
Sir Dust was always blunt. Even that first day they met, when heâd spoken more than a few words heâd seemed strained. Uncomfortable. He was comfortable here in his home territory.Â
And, he wasnât lying! Error hadnât even noticed it, but when he looked down, his eyelights honed in on the plate held easily in one of Dustâs hands, and a jug held in the other to his side.Â
Error was quick to lean out the doorway with a grin and snatch up the plate, careful not to make contact with Dustâs hands. Heâd abandoned his glasses somewhere behind him in the room, so he had to raise the plate closer to his face before he recognized the contents.Â
âNoodles, sweet!â He half-whispered to himself.Â
His hand moved, gesturing out towards Dust. More of his strings shot past, from somewhere in the room, and clutched the jug before tugging it back inside with a flick of Errorâs free hand.Â
âCcino told me to tell you: Drink that water. Youâll get dehydrated.â Dust voiced, watching unbothered as the jug was tugged back and out of his view.Â
Error glanced up at him, and scoffed. Ccino had been doing his best to get Error to drink more tea with him because tea had water. Error was fine! He didnât need as much water or food as an average monster, it was normal! Besides, heâd forget about it anyways.Â
âOkay. Thanks!â he said anyways. Though, it was mostly thanks for the food. Error loved when Ccino made noodles. They were always buttery, and Error wasnât sure how he always made something that looked so bland taste so good. âŚNow his mouth was watering. Maybe he was a little hungry after all.Â
Error waited for Dust to start making his decent back down the stairs, but when he saw the monster was still stood still and quiet, he raised a brow. Was there something else? Had to be. He hoped Dust didnât want inside. Error had all the plans to devour this food and then dive headfirst back into his project. He didnât want to be distracted.Â
âOne more message.â Dust said, watching Error. His white eyelights were clear under his hood. Error didnât think he was wearing his mask, but even with the soft glow from his web of strings he couldnât tell in the shadows. Didnât matter to him either way.Â
âKing Nightmareâs rescheduling your next⌠report.â Dust said plainly.
At that, Error felt his soul stop a bit in his chest. âWhy?â He asked without thinking. The King had been listening and seemed interested during his last report! Heâd made a lot of progress since then too, finished one of them enough that they could test it! The King had said he was excited to see it! Surely he hadnât been tossed aside so quickly?
Dust seemed unphased by his demand of an answer.Â
âThe King is just taking time to rest. Last project wore him out.â Dust explained, before he added, âCcinoâs orders. Like drinking your water.âÂ
Error couldnât tell, not really, but he was pretty sure the knight was grinning at that last part. Ha ha, very funny. Though, he wasnât wrong. Error was pretty sure the entire castle knew that Ccino guy was in charge of keeping the King in check. Heck, when heâd first been brought in, the King looked worried about introducing him to that Ccino. Error never knew why, theyâd gotten along great!Â
But, if it was Ccino telling the King to take a break? He figured that the King was probably listening. Fair enough. His soul calmed down a little at the rationalization.Â
âOh, alright.â Error said finally, âDo you⌠know when heâll want the next report by, then?âÂ
He could still plan, right? Maybe it was only a few days.Â
âMm, pretty sure Ccino said next month? Gotta catch up on some things. You live here.â Dust replied.Â
Oh. Okay. Hmm. That was⌠a lot longer than heâd been hoping for. He could probably manage, though. Keep chugging away at his current project, maybe have time to draft a new one. Bigger? But, wait, the King wanted him to propose any bigger ones to him first. Supposedly heâd be allowed unlimited creative liberties, it was more so if something exploded heâd know what happened, but still. He didnât want to break the few rules he had. Old projects then! Make them the best ever!Â
He blinked in surprise when the little ping tingled in his skull.Â
Dust had turned around without him noticing, a hand extended to just barely nudge one of his hanging strings. He didnât look back as he spoke.Â
âGotta get back to rounds. Gânight Error.â He said.
Error watched, disoriented for a second, before he nodded to himself.Â
âGood night, Sir Dust!â He returned hurriedly.
He watched as the knight started moving, and entirely silently he descended the steps. Only when he had turned the curve out of sight and his shadow disappeared from the wall where torches below cast it, did he pull the door shut and return inside his room.Â
His steps echoed against the stone floor until he returned to the cushioned rug, and then moved even further past that to one of his low-hanging hammocks.Â
It was tucked beside a bookshelf that the King had let him stock with whatever books he liked from the library during his first week. The room had been cold and bare, obviously unlived in for a while, and Error didnât exactly have a lot to move in. Just his spare clothes, the (now empty) pouch heâd been using to store his coin, and the dolls. Heâd refused to remove those from his bag until he was alone, though, so heâd really had nothing to call his own. The King had given him the opportunity to collect items like books from the library, had let him choose some items from an incoming shipment of trading goods, and had sent someone to buy any equipment Error might need to advance his magic and creations.Â
And, for the most part, Error was very self-sufficient. Heâd had time to knit himself new clothes, and blankets, and decorate the room entirely with his magic. He spent a lot of time up in the high ceiling too, it was where he kept his dolls, and the projects, and all his important belongings. Everyone once in a while, though, he liked the bookshelf wall. Especially when he was eating. It was just easier to remember not to just hang up the plate among his projects.Â
Ccinoâs cooking was always delicious, Error would never not look forward to a meal made by him, even if it was the lamest sounding food ever. Heâd managed to make brussel sprouts tolerable. A feat, honestly. The tastiness and warmth that spread through him couldnât distract him from his worries, though.Â
Error knew heâd have to work hard to make sure the King was impressed. But also not too bothered by it. He knows his explosive spells used to make his professors and tutors angry, and while the King had been nice about it so far, if he was tired? Error wouldnât want to push the limits. But if he was too simply about it or lackluster, the King might be upset he was wasting his time? Ohhh. At least he had a month to work and try things out before then. Hopefully he could have an idea at that point. Hopefully.Â
âŚ
Ten days.Â
Error had given it about 5 days after the time that the report was originally meant to happen, five days after Dust told him itâd been rescheduled, before he felt like he might go stir-crazy. Not because he was worried, but because of the exact opposite. He had his few other ongoing projects, mostly if not entirely completed, up to the Kingâs review. But heâd also developed another, newer, concept that he just knew would brighten the Kingâs mood.Â
Dust had been the one periodically bringing him food still, he hadnât seen Ccino, and Error didnât dare pry too far. All heâd been told was that the King was still swamped with duties and was locking himself in his study to complete his duties.Â
Now, Error was not one to talk about unhealthy work ethic, not in the slightest, but he figured it couldnât be fun. The things the King was doing werenât exciting or engaging like Errorâs projects were, they were all papers and about talking to people. Error dreaded the idea of sitting alone in a room, trying to figure out something stupid like which roads a guy should walk or what people thought of him. Sounded stressful.Â
So, Error had made something to make the King feel less bad! Less cooped up!Â
Originally he had wanted to wait until his report, but heâd been so invested in making this that itâd only taken him a day, and his miniature prototypes had worked perfectly, so the larger one was ready in just a day or two! Heâd really really tried to convince himself to be patient but⌠The King had liked him because he was bold! And did things he didnât expect! And Error didnât want to lose that reputation. If the King wouldnât come to him, heâd just go to the King!Â
That was the thought process, of course, which had led him to the entryway to the Kingâs royal wing. Then past it and the guards standing watch. Then to standing right infront of the door to the Kingâs study.Â
He knew it was the study because heâd been inside once before. The King usually met with him up in the tower, but they had met down in his study once, to talk about the revised contract. It had been a long, boring conversation which involved the King asking Error to repeat his words back to him at certain points (the King had caught him spacing out several times, but never scolded him) to make sure he was actually listening. Something about making sure Error was safe and had other options? The King seemed super serious about making sure Error was okay, just because he was a kid, but he wasnât a kid anymore! He was 13 by the time he signed, basically a whole adult!Â
But, point is, Error had spent at least an hour or two in there listening to the King talk. He knew where this room was.Â
Staring at the door was⌠a little imposing. What was his plan again? Burst inside?Â
Yeah. If he knocked, someone would send him away. Just like at the try-outs. He had to just commit and walk in. The King had said in the contract that Error was always welcome to come to him if he needed something. And right now? Error needed his attention.Â
He reached out, grabbing the big handle in one hand as he clutched his satchel with the other. He twisted it, and the moment it processed that it wasnât locked, he pushed it inwards and slipped inside. He blindly shut it in his wake, just in-case someone tried to push him outside.Â
Leaning against the door, his eyelights shot around to take in the room.Â
No one was charging at him, and no one was rushing to yell at him. Good. Good. He-
âError?âÂ
Well that wasnât a voice he recognized!Â
Error abandoned his skim of the room to search for the origin of the voice, and found himself staring wide-eyed at a monster across the room. This monster was a skeleton, their bones white, they seemed short, and skinny, and their one socket was wide in surprise with a single cyan eyelight, the other empty and seemingly gone dark. They stared at each-other.Â
This odd skeleton, Error noticed, wore the Kingâs clothes. To a tee, the cloak, the shirt, the pants. The shoes looked different, but the pants covered them enough that Error couldnât quite tell on a quick glance. That, and this skeleton had the Kingâs circlet resting on their skull, crescent moon plastered right in the center of their forehead.Â
Error wouldâve doubted the conclusion his mind came to, if it werenât for the fact that he noticed this skeleton was not the only other one in the room. A quick glance revealed that Ccino was sat nearby to the skeleton, resting on one of the chairs around the coffee table. Error had been able to pick up that Ccino didnât relax much at all. Especially not around strangers.Â
âKing Nightmare?â He asked back, staring at the monster across the room still.Â
The way the monster seemed to flinch at the title told Error he was right. This was the King!Â
A lot of questions flooded his mind, but they were beat-out by a sudden flood of curiosity. He hurried across the room, rapidly approaching the King, until they were stood just a few feet apart. He didnât even notice Ccinoâs worried âah, ah wait-â or the way the King had to refrain from stepping away. He just saw his suspicions were correct.Â
âYouâre⌠shorter.â He voiced, stupidly.Â
He wasnât wrong! The King was now shorter than him by at least half a head! Before the mass of dark magic that was the King had been taller than him by a lot, and he was tall for his age, but now! Now he was tiny! He wasnât sure what to do with this information besides be delighted. He was used to being taller than people, but taller than a king? Now that was more his speed!
It took a few seconds for it to finally hit Error that the King did⌠not look happy. He didnât look mad, but Error knew that was not an expression people would give when they were happy. His brows were furrowed a bit, his mouth tugged down ever so slightly at the corners, his shoulders were tense.Â
âI- Yes, I am a bit⌠shorter. Than usual.â The King replied, âMay I ask why youâre, ah, here, Mage Error?âÂ
Error blinked at him for a second. Right! He was here for a reason!Â
âOh! I just finished a lot of my projects, and I know that the report was rescheduled, but I made something I thought you would really like, and IâŚâ He trailed off a moment as he realized Nightmare was staring at him. Had he done something wrong?Â
Nightmare was still watching him, but seemed more alarmed that Error had stopped talking. He wasnât sure he liked being able to read the Kingâs expressions like this. Usually, the king had a poker-face worthy of a family game night, only breaking when he was pleased and smiled. Now his expressions were so obvious even Error could read them. It was strange.Â
â...Please, continue. A project?â The King seemed to catch himself and prompted. His expression schooled again, though it looked like he had to put in some effort. Eyelight flickering away from Error before shooting back to him.Â
Error hesitated for a second, but ultimately continued.Â
âI just⌠Thought that if I came to find you it wouldnât take too long to show you, and then you wouldnât be stuck doing just all your paperwork all day.â He was a bit more reserved than heâd meant to be when he presented the idea, both his hands now clutching the strap on his satchel. âI mean. If youâre that busy I can always. I can come back.â He paused again, âOr I- I- I can wait until my report day. Like I⌠probably should have.âÂ
He didnât like the way his voice had stuttered and lagged at the end as he became more uncertain. He glanced over at Ccino.Â
The older skeleton was watching between them wordlessly, looking a lot more tense than when Error had first seen him. Like he was waiting for something to happen. His eyelights were plastered on the King. Who was staring at Error intently.Â
âIs this project something which you could share inside the study? I⌠wasnât intending on leaving my hall today.â the King asked him in an oddly gentle tone. His voice slowed the same way as usual, but it was strange to hear it in such a high voice.Â
Errorâs hands wrung the strap of his satchel as he thought. âItâs. Ah. Explosive. Itâd have to be outside.â He admitted in defeat. He hadnât thought about the possibility that the King might not want to abandon his work to go look at Errorâs spells. Thinking back, they did probably all look pretty silly to the King. He was really good at magic. Just like Dust was. âIt can wait.â he added briefly.Â
The silence that followed only lasted a second or two, enough for Error to furrow his brow and feel that little hint of indignation that used to plague him, the one that made him so mad at everyone. What was he thinking? He was good at magic too! Maybe not as good as the King, but certainly he was powerful, his magic wasnât bad or a waste. Those instructors back at the academy were wrong, he knew so, he had to stop thinking about what theyâd thought of him.
Error found himself glaring at the floor when a sound snapped his attention upwards. A fizzling sound and a little groan from the King. The King had gripped his skull, covering the socket with the cyan eyelight and turning away from Errorâs view in a snap.Â
That fizzling noise had sounded⌠unhealthy, to put it plainly. It didnât help that Ccino finally spoke up, a little âMy King?â worriedly ringing out from the chair where Ccino had planted himself. The King had hunched himself forwards a bit to clutch at his socket, like he was trying to hold in pain.Â
Was⌠was the king sick? Was that why he looked like this? Initially heâd assumed the dark energy had been a glamor. Some kind of magical enhancement to shield him, to make him more fearsome, even to cover up stunted growth. This mustâve been what he looked like normally, right? But. If that were true, the King wouldâve just called it back onto his person or had Ccino usher him out. If he was sick, though? He might not be able to control that magic. Might be limited in its output, or even barred from accessâŚ
Error wouldâve asked him, but his eyes moved curiously to the mirror instead. The reflection gave Error a perfect view of the Kingâs other side. The way the magic in his palm was flickering and sparking. Between- Between colors. The cyan Error was familiar with, and a soft purple that heâd never seen.Â
He mustâve been right, on some level, because he realized it. He couldnât sense the Kingâs magic.Â
Or, at least, he couldnât sense any magic that was active. The Kingâs magic worked like an aura, at least as far as Error had seen of it. Wide-spread, curling around anyone and anything it liked like a vine, and strangling what it didnât like a noose. He wasnât as good at seeing magic or feeling it as his brother, but he knew when a magical signature was missing, and he could feel familiar ones. The magic that the King was using to make his eyelight flicker? It was familiar, if only faintly, but it wasnât his normal magic. Not by a longshot. There was very little intent, and what there was felt. Strange. Desperate, almost.Â
âItâs alright. Iâm fine, just a hiccup.â The King said, clearly responding to Ccino.Â
It took a few deep breaths before the King righted himself, and Error watched as he peeked at the mirror first. He saw that the Kingâs eyelight was cyan again, but only partly. The bottom portion was still that lavender, and he hissed under his breath before covering his socket with his hand again.Â
That same fizzling noise again, but muffled. Error watched, clearly, as the Kingâs face momentarily contorted with pain, before going still again.Â
That couldnât be healthy, whatever he was doing. His brother had told him all sorts of horror stories about things going wrong with magic at his academy. People who would change their appearance, and they would do it poorly, with adverse effects on their body. He got a chill.
âI- I- can wait. The project can wait.â Error muttered over the sound of that magic fizzling and popping over the Kingâs socket.Â
He didnât waste any time, even as he was pretty sure the King turned to call him back. He was already to the door, and then out of the door, and then hurrying down the hall.Â
No one in the castle actually cared what he was up to, so he wasnât exactly careful as he hurried down the halls and back to the tall tower which was his. When he passed the entryway, hsi strings caught his arms and tugged him up and over the dozens of spiraling stairs, straight to his doorway. He practically spun inside and retreated to the rafters among his projects to disperse the ones heâd placed into his satchel.Â
âŚ
It was childish, but Error felt faint about what heâd seen. He wasnât sure why, but his head hurt just thinking about it. Altering appearance wasnât something unheard of, or even really frowned about in his circles. But the magic the King had been doing was unfamiliar and strange. Not just something to alter the appearance of his magic, but something else. Something that was unnatural.
He tugged a string directly from his socket as he hung alone in the rafters, and saw the way that it hung from his fingertips. Blue, a deep one. Monster souls shouldnât have traits, most didnât, at least not the way human souls do. Magic, however, tends to manifest in a way that reflects its owner. Error had seen the way a white soul produced bright red magic. His own manifested as a dark blue. Integrity, heâd been told. It was reflecting on how he saw himself as well, he never gave up, he always walked his own path. Those whoâd met him could certainly vouch for that.Â
As far as heâd known, the Kingâs magic was cyan. Somewhere between Patience and Kindness, which made sense to him. The King had certainly been kind, offering him this job despite the rules, and he was patient too. Letting Error go on and on and on about his creations. Heâd never doubted that those were accurate traits. Now, though? Now the King seemed to be sporting Purple. Purple was not a color which Error had ever seen from him. And it seemed the King mustâve thought the same thing of himself.
Error took a breath as he moved the string so it sat hovering between his index finger and his thumb, the ends clinging with residual, pliable, magic. With his other hand, he pinched the end nearest to his thumb and closed his eyes.Â
He didnât think about it often, but his strings were just that, made up of plenty of little threads, all woven together in just the right way which pleased Error. Texture and thickness which he liked and relied on to hold his weight, keep his projects secure, it was unlike any threads seen in the rest of the world. All his own. Itâd taken him time to perfect it, though. Each new string, a new pattern and new density, until a few years ago when heâd figured it out. If he was right, though, he could mimic other styles. Other existing patterns. Other existing colors of magic.
He let his grip slide an inch or so down the string, concentrating as the fibers snapped and rearranged themselves. He furrowed his brow as he recalled the method to make a rope, the braids and twists and tension involved. Each strand felt like he was mentally moving a ten pound weight, and his concentration wavered when he realized his fingers were growing warm. Then, a few more seconds, another inch, and it felt like his fingertips would burst into flame. He hissed and opened his eyes, retracting his hand to see what sort of abomination heâd made.Â
Half the string was still that familiar deep blue, but the portion near his thumb was a bright yellow. Thick, three times as thick as the blue, and with the appearance of a rope. It trembled and shook with tension, the portion where Error had given up being a strange and ugly, frayed mass of blue and yellow strands, some portions a muddled green at the exact mid-point.Â
The sight made Error wince, and he pulled his fingers apart, the frayed portion snapping easily. The blue strand fell limp into his palm, while the yellow strand began to unravel. Quickly. LIttle chunks of burnt-out thread exploded like confetti, turning white or back to that blue color. It spun and spun until Error was left with little chunks of blue magic thread stuck to the fabric of his shirt and floating to the floor below him. The yellow magic heâd imbued, all the intent pushed behind it, wasnât nearly enough to keep it steady or in place. Even if heâd finished the entire strand and burnt his fingers to do it, it wouldnât have held up a small rock, let alone anything important. It was useless.
His little test, he realized, didnât even cover the severity of the situation. Heâd used strings, something heâd removed from his person. The King was doing that⌠to his own socket.Â
How long had he been doing that? If Cyan wasnât his natural magic, how much strain had he been under? For how long?Â
It was none of his business, he reminded himself. The King was an adult, with a lot of advisors and strong magic users and people like Ccino. He had people who would tell him to stop. Error didnât have the whole picture, surely. It wasnât his place to worry about it. It just⌠rubbed him the wrong way. It bothered him.Â
âŚAnd now he had two things to sulk about. Great.Â
âŚ
Ping
There it was again.Â
Honestly, Error hadnât expected anyone to come to see him again so soon. Itâd hardly been a few hours since he attempted to visit the King, and it mustâve been dark by now. Who was coming up past dinner time?Â
He eased himself down from where heâd placed himself in the rafters, and stood in front of his large door for a second, before opening it up to peek out.Â
And. Outside, in the dimly lit corridor, was⌠The King.Â
Or, at least, it looked like the King? Same clothes, same height as heâd seen earlier in the day, and his eyelight was cyan once again. Only, this time he couldnât see the Kingâs expressions. He was wearing a mask. Error had to blink to process it. An owl, round and dark, with big eye holes right at the right level for the Kingâs sockets. It reminded Error a little bit of the fluffy owls he used to see outside his window, the ones just barely out the nest still losing their fluffy baby feathers. Was⌠Was it heresy to think the King was small and cute? Probably. Very absurd thought, compared to the haunting dark mass he usually was. Maybe that was why he disguised?
âMage Error,â The King greeted, voice calm as it usually was, âI am aware that this is an impromptu visit, but may I come in? I realize I did not attend to you as I should have earlier, and I wish to rectify this mistake.â His cyan eyelight watched upwards, and Error stared down at him for a moment through the crack in the door.Â
He glanced past him, too. But it seemed like the King was entirely alone. Just like he tended to be.Â
Error swung open the door, pulling himself out of the way along with it. It wasnât like he was going to say no to the King, but he wasnât nearly as excited as usual. What should he do? Say? Obviously something was up with the King, but was Error supposed to say anything? Or was the King just here to make sure Error stayed out of trouble? Adults did that a lot back in the day when he got on their nerves.Â
His thoughts persisted as the King entered the space. Error shut the door behind him and watched idly for a breath. The King was moving oddly. Like he was faint. His steps were just ever so slightly uneven and he seemed to wobble ever so slightly as he moved to sit at the unoccupied chair before Errorâs desk. What was wrong with him?Â
Error started moving, shifting away the items heâd once again strewn out on the floor back to the shadows of the rafters, and instead lowering a set of strings which held his hammock and a wooden board he much preferred to a table. The King watched as the items lowered, just like he always did, but the table was empty as Error hoisted himself to sit on the edge of the hammock across from the ruler.Â
âYou⌠have questions, right?â Nightmare voiced.
The King was looking at the empty surface suspended before the both of them, and Error realized he hadnât even moved to gather his projects. For some reason he was hesitant to bring them up again.Â
âCan I? Ask you stuff?â Error questioned uncertainly. âAdults usually donât like when I start asking questions.â He admitted.Â
The King looked up to him, before he sighed and nodded. âAsk anything you like.â
That was⌠an odd allowance. Error wasnât used to that either. Usually the King was the one letting him talk, and talk, and talk, and his questions had never been about. Well. The King himself. Just about the knights, or the tapestries, or the food. Never about the King.Â
âWhy are you small?â The burning question was the one he had to get out of his head. He had theories, but the King was the only one who could confirm or deny them.Â
The King was quiet for a brief second, before he brought a hand to his mask. It hovered there as he chuckled, though to Error it sounded a lot more like a giggle.
âIt is a⌠complicated story. Iâm still not quite sure myself, but I will share with you what I know as to how I came to be this way.â The King moved a hand behind his skull, tucking it beneath his hood, and tugged at a pretty silk ribbon. A purple one, Error noted. âItâs the least i can do.âÂ
The mask fell forward into the Kingâs awaiting hand, and once again Error was met by the image of that clean and soft white bone. The rounded face he didnât recognize. His expression was neutral, schooled, careful.
âI know you are not from Orchard, nor are you familiar with the traditions of our kingdom. However, you recall the story of my upbringing, and my twin, correct?â He asked, and Error nodded. He recalled decently that there had been twin princes, the King, Nightmare, and his brother, Dream or something? Heâd been asking about the tapestries and the King had told him how the two of them had grown up really close, and how he ended up with the throne in the end, banishing his twin so he wouldnât steal the crown or something.Â
âGood. Well. My coronation was not actually mine. It was that of my twin. Dream. He was the crown prince, but I had found word of a great cost to completing the ritual, and I was sure he would be hurt by the process.â The King explained. âThe power of the kingdom is passed from generation to generation through the soul. Each Kingâs soul warps and changes, taking the shape of an apple, golden and shining with a seemingly divine magic. When my mother gave up her soul for Dream to eat, to inherit her title, IâŚâÂ
The king trailed off for a breath, and Error felt his insides twist a bit. Eating a soul? That was⌠a concept. Fascinating, but also he couldnât imagine a scenario in which someone would actually follow through with it. Of course eating an entire other monsterâs soul would provide a magic boost, just like when monsters absorbed human souls, or humans overloaded on magic.
âI stole it from him and completed the ritual myself.â So, maybe that was why he was sick? âThe ritual, as it was meant to do, provided me with power beyond myself, yes, but it also altered my mind and physical form. I aged significantly, something I had always assumed was due to the overwhelming force of the gifted magic. In a matter of moments I was old, my mind more clear and sharp. The way you knew me before was the shape I was meant to hold. That I expected to stay.â The King rubbed a hand against his good socket, the other gently resting over the mask sat on his lap. âSeveral weeks ago, I collapsed. And when I awoke, I had taken on this form again, and it seems my mind is reverted as well. Both have returned, aside from my memories, back to the exact condition that they were on the day of my coronation. So, I find myself back in my youth, and small as a result.â
He seemed to pause for a second, before puffing a sigh, âOr, almost the exact condition. It seems a wound I suffered the same day didnât ever quite heal.â He ghosted over his empty socket and the cracks running up and out of sight beneath his hood.
Error stared at him a second, and he blinked in confusion. That was a lot of wacky magic shenanigans, and that was coming from him of all monsters, but he was processing something that had been glossed over.
âWait, so how old are you?â Error questioned, confused.
The King blinked at his question, before Error caught sight of something he didnât quite expect to see today. A slight lavender blush dusted the Kingâs cheekbones. Errorâs not even sure the King noticed heâd done it.Â
âThatâs a⌠tricky question Iâve been trying to decipher. However, as far as my development and mental state are concerned, I regrettably appear to be 13.âÂ
The King seemed ashamed to admit it, but Error found his mind working a bit faster than heâd meant it to be. The weak aura, the weird magic, the short height, the baby face, the higher voice, all of it! Heâd heard of cases like this. Not usually between monsters, but often when monsters would overtake too much magic, or too many supplements, or strain their bodies, they could take on a higher form before reverting. Usually it only affected the amount of magic they could harness, and no one had ever sustained one long enough to actually age before releasing it, but it wasnât an impossible idea. If the King had been operating on borrowed magic? It was entirely possible that there was a sort of stasis provided to him. Especially since Error was pretty sure he never ever got hurt.Â
Part of him wished heâd paid more attention to the books on the shelves back home. His brother would eat this up. Soul-based research with an abnormally long-lasting period? Oh boyâŚ
âThatâs cool!â Error blurted without really thinking about it.Â
The King seemed to actually flinch about it, cyan eyelight looking wide at Error form across the makeshift table.Â
âI- What do you mean?â The King questioned, obviously confused and shocked.Â
Error frowned a bit. Did the King really not realize how much skill that takes to pull something like that amount of magic transfer off? Errorâs not even sure he could do something like that, and all without losing himself to this other invasive magic?
âKing Nightmare, it sounds like you were a torch holding a really really hot fire and you didnât even get burnt. Iâve never heard of someone using magic like that.â And he blinked as he suddenly perked up, âYouâre young too! Weâre like each other! Doing cool new magic things that no one wanted us to do! Well, I mean, you want me to do it, but- Thatâs not the point!âÂ
Error actually leaned forward a bit so his elbows planted on his knees, and he squinted at the King. âI bet Iâm older now too, thatâd be really cool. What season is your birthday?â Heâd not seen the King celebrate his birthday since heâd been there, but then again, the King was always busy, and Error didnât pay attention much.Â
The King seemed taken aback, but still spoke, âMy birthday is in the spring, but-â
Error lit up at that, âYes! I am older!â he exclaimed excitedly to himself. Heâd never had anyone younger than him to hang around before! Granted, heâd met other kids at the academy, but they hadnât liked him much.Â
His grinning was cut a bit short when the King stammered from the seat across from him again.Â
âMage Error, I- Iâm glad to see this news isnât distressing you, but I please ask you to consider my next few words.â The King was watching him, and Error tried to tone down the smile gracing his face. âNews of my⌠state is not being circulated just yet. Orchard is still recovering from centuries of mistreatment under my bloodlineâs rule, and I am nowhere near to being able to restore the kingdom as I had planned. My goals will likely only bring more turmoil and frustration to the people, and while assassinations and other sabotage have rarely graced these halls, if word gets out of my newfound weakened form? This castle, this entire kingdom, could be thrown to chaos.â The Kingâs tone was very serious, and it sounded tired. âYou, Error, are not officially my mage, but to prying eyes your studies here fill that same purpose. I was willing to take you in when I was sure I had the power to protect you, but I canât provide that security any more.â
âBefore I came here, I reviewed our contract. At the loss of my protection, you are welcome to request an indefinite leave of absence from the position, and I will have one of my knights accompany you anywhere you wish to go and ensure you arrive safely. I do not want to put you in danger due to my search for reform. You have no obligations to stay in this place nor risk your life for it.â The Kingâs voice was steady as he said it. âYou do not have to give me an answer this moment, but I needed to inform you so that you have a full understanding of your options.âÂ
Errorâs grin had faded about halfway through the Kingâs speech, and he could already feel the fuzzy numbness creeping up one of his legs as he tried to keep himself from lashing out. Dust had talked to him about that. His reactiveness.Â
âKing Nightmare, Iâm not going anywhere.â he declared, crossing his arms with a huff. âThat dumb contract you made me read also said I can stay as long as I want the position. And I want the position.â And the food, and the tower, and the courtyard, and the knights, and the King who listened to him talk about his explosives. âI donât care if youâre short or have purple magic or whatever,â the King flinched at that, â Youâre still really smart and you have a bunch of really strong people youâre in charge of. Including me, by the way.âÂ
He was almost offended. He was strong! He was dangerous! The King had always praised him for ingenuity and sheer force of will placed behind each of his projects, and Error took pride in that. He was strong, and powerful, and he wanted to do fun experiments and help the King. Almost more now that he knew that the King was some twig of a monster. Now he didnât have to worry about lame old people bossing him around.Â
The King seemed to lean forward ever so slightly in the chair he was sat in, and Error didnât shy away. If this was a battle of the wills, he wouldnât be-
A sniffle.Â
Error jolted when the King pulled his hands up to his skull and hastily dragged his sleeves against his sockets. Was he crying??
âAh- Forgive me!â The King said in a small voice, âEmotional regulation, another damning loss from my sudden form alteration. Iâve been lucky I hadnât embarrassed myself sooner.â He practically teased himself.Â
Error let his body stop tensing, and he noticed the uncomfortable fuzzy feeling had fled in the aftermath of his bold declaration. If heâd had any doubts before that this King was actually as he said, this was the final sign. The King had never showed so much emotion before.Â
âI think itâs fine. I get mad all the time and you never mind.â Error voiced, though he wasnât sure how welcome it would be.Â
At that the king laughed, and Error grinned to himself, looking away from the scene. He didnât like it when people saw him cry. He understood that one all too well.Â
A silence fell between them. Error wasnât going anywhere, heâd made that abundantly clear. The King wouldnât be sending him away, either. It went unsaid, but it was there in the agreement theyâd made just hardly a year prior. The King never went back on his deals.
âMage Error, I believe you wanted to show me something earlier. Now that it is dark, I believe I would be willing to have Horror accompany us out to the courtyard so I may observe.âÂ
Error glanced back to the King, and saw that he was looking up at the darkened ceiling. As though trying to predict when a string would lower down his newest creations.Â
âOh, actually I bet we can do it here. From the balcony, I mean. It goes up into the sky, so it shouldnât hurt anything.â he said, his excitement gaining momentum once again. âI actually made test ones this time too, just to make sure!âÂ
Error swung backwards out of his hammock, and let the strings above him loosen to drop the item into his awaiting hands.Â
The King rose from his seat, walking a bit strangely still, but nothing which bothered Error much. He was more interested in the curious face of his ruler as he approached Error near the balcony exit. Error wasnât one to use his balcony often, he didnât even have strings set up to pull the curtains aside, so he lifted one back so that the King could pass by, and he followed himself shortly after.Â
The balcony was a thick one, reinforced underneath by large wooden and stone beams, the railing thick enough that one could sit along it like a high-stakes bench. Error did just that, pulling himself up so his feet dangled over the edge. The King remained back, hood pulled tight to his skull as the night winds attempted to tug it away from him. It took a few moments before he joined Error near to the edge, leaning on the balcony which was just ever so slightly too tall for him. His arms rested at chin-height and he seemed to be debating whether to rest his chin on them like an arm rest.Â
Error watched from over his shoulder, and grinned to himself as he secured the little invention with his strings before holding it out for the King to see in the moonlight that illuminated the darkness. Them, the castle grounds below, the mountainside and the sprawling hills and valleys beyond.Â
âIâve seen people make these before with gun-powder, they always glowed red, though. So I infused some magic into the canister and the projectiles, and they should do something fun.â Error explained excitedly, pointing out different locations on the thing held in his strings. Long, slender, a mix between a crossbow and a cannon, but tiny. Only the length of his forearm. âBest thing, it should be quiet!â Heâd noticed that some of the knights didnât like when his explosions made loud noises, and a lot of guards came rushing the first few times heâd set off his creations.Â
The King examined it for a few moments longer, before he nodded silently.Â
Error snickered before he pulled it back into his grip and aimed it up and out. Away from the tower, where it shouldâve been just over the large, round, open space in the center of the castle. High in the sky.Â
He shifted, dragging his fingers along the surface, the long portion lighting up and flinging something from the end of the device. A little ball of pure white. Up, up, up.
It exploded.Â
Error laughed in triumph as the night sky above the palace was set ablaze with a collection of little shimmering lights, like falling stars in all shades of blue and green and purple and white flying everywhere before going dark. His eyelights shot back to the King as he loaded the next round, and he was delighted to see that the single cyan eyelight was plastered on the smoky after-effect left by the burning magic. He desperately wanted to start telling the King all about how heâd done such a genius thing, but he found himself simply hefting the little device up once again and firing into the open darkness instead.
#stop and error being so protective#error isn't in danger!!#he IS THE DANGER!!!!#and he will protect the now very cute king who is his age and smaller than him!!!#error is going to be THE BEST ROYAL MAGE!!!!#and maybe... the king and him can hang out more? and chill? and have fun?#error already has a crush and he isn't even aware of it yet lmao#he will get there.
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discovery of the day
#im sorry i do Not see what everyone sees in this movie. although from the years of browsing the internet ive began to realize#that i actually dont know if people actually like the movie or not#why is everything so rushed#their romance felt like nothing to me because i dont KNOW what they see in eachother#listen you dont have to tell me straight up into the camera why they love eachother#but the aggressive kissing and cut sex scenes arent telling me much#i get that it came out in 2005 but cutting mostly every gay sex scene? even the kissing for the most part?#but oh we NEED to see this happy husband and wife doing it. yes im bitter#a german movie by the name of summer storm came out the year before this one and actually shows something that feels like actual passion#i sound like i need to see people doing it in these movies all the time I promise thats not it#but even the kissing? the thing i Actually like the most? the thing that makes me feel things? felt like nothing at all#and oh i forgot that this is a tragic gay movie where one of them dies. Oh yeah. forgot.#mentioning summer storm again: it actually has a relatively happy ending. feels good that i dont need to be reminded of how gay people are#doomed 24/7.#the romance started good. with jack telling the guy whos name i already forgot to get his ass in the tent already.#the Pulling his arm over my body thing. it was going great#THEN IT WENT SO FAST! WHY WAS HE SUDDENLY SO INTO IT! WHY WERE THEY BOTH SUDDENLY DOING IT#im sorry i expected a slighter slow burn than this!!! calm down cowboys i have no idea why you two like eachother all of the sudden!#i seriously thought they would show these little moments of tension#and it just growing bigger and bigger#until they couldnt take it anymore#that would explain the aggressiveness of it! why they were so desperate! but it literally just HAPPENED!!!!!!!!!#im sorry i. I expected more of this movie that i hear so much about.#the most it made me feel was at that moment that turned into a meme where i thought âHop on fortniteâ#chuckled. that was it. did i cry? did my heart race at any moment? was i worried about what was gonna happen? not Once#im so. Disappointed.#after this i wanted to watch summer storm but netflix removed it. Its a german only movie no one knows from 2004. where the hell am i gonna#đ´ââ ď¸ that#AAAGHHHH!!!!!!!#not being able to watch summer storm made me cry more than this movie did What the hell
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#little rant sorry guys đđđ (I lied itâs a very long rant) youâve been warned âď¸â ď¸â ď¸â ď¸xx#Iâm mad at everyone but mostly myself because I know itâs my fault#itâs just the fact that Iâm annoying. Itâs why everyone treats me this way#and some of them I donât even think they notice the way they treat me. Because Iâm such a second thought to them#and even people who are supposed to be my âbest friendsâ donât give a shit about me half the time#more than half actually#and it just makes me sooo ughhhhhhgg#cause what am I even living for at this point#and it just pisses me off. And at the end of the day I get treated like shit and blame on it myself and still love them#I just want to be wanted. And like actually wanted not fake wanted.#I want to be thought of I want to be invited I wanna get told that someone loves me#I want to not fear that Iâll be completely forgotten (already am)#I want to be a first option. I want to be loved. I want someone to return the effort I put into every fucking relationship#because I actually get nothing in return. In fact I get the opposite in return I get to be treated like I donât exist by the people I love#just. what the fuck. I hate life#and I hate myself so fucking much ughhh#okay sorry if you read that whole thing mwah đâ¤ď¸
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