#most unhinged post I've ever made but it's true

[enobariasdistrict2]

being a minor in the thg fandom with adult thg mutuals is kinda like what katniss felt in 75th being around a bunch of adult victors. except none of you want to kill me <3

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 7 / YA & COMING OF AGE)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes/Tropes:

-Girls fighting with their parents

-Crushes and romance (and love triangles)

-Strong friendships

-Exploring sexuality (most of these have scenes of a sexual nature)

-Finding herself (or learning how to grow up)

-A lot of (oftentimes comedic) blunders

-Enemies/rivals to lovers

-Girls getting up to no good (or girls getting up to good but getting derailed)

ONES I HAVEN'T WATCHED:

Darby and The Dead

Girlhood

Blood & Water

Eighth Grade

I Am Not Okay With This

Skate Kitchen

The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants

Ladybird

We Are Lady Parts

ONES I'D RECOMMEND

Derry Girls (9/10) (GOATED SHOW!)

Bottoms (9/10) (hilarious and insane in the best ways!)

Paper Girls (7/10) (the chaos that happens when adult you meets preteen you)

Everything Now (8/10) (actually deals with eating disorders appropriately, the most humanizing teen show i've ever seen)

Booksmart (8/10)(a calmer version of Bottoms, but still pretty unhinged and witty)

PERSONAL NOTES

The Miseducation of Cameron Post is the more sober version of But I'm A Cheerleader, where two lesbians get sent to conversion therapy camps. I found both entertaining and refreshing, full of nuance and oftentimes clever about the writing. The performances were also quite good.

I remember My First Summer being bittersweet, but I think there was one scene that made me a little antsy (because the girls in this are pretty young). If it was done tastefully is better left interpreted by those who decide to watch it.

Do Revenge is a whole bag of everything. Mean Girls meets Bottoms. Funny, cruel and unhinged (yet also a little sweet). It was overall fun stuff.

Skate Kitchen has a spin-off show by HBO called Betty.

I barely remember the one episode of Blood & Water I watched, but I know there were things I found to raunchy too be tasteful, yet there was also quite a bit that was still pretty solid and sweet. Not sure I can recommend because I don't know enough except it's about sisters.

If you like sweet and simple teen love stories, Rafiki and The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love are right up your alley.

I only watched one season of Never Have I Ever to emotionally support my sister who had started it. I have never felt such visceral second-hand embarrassment in my LIFE.

First Kill is Romeo and Juliet with vampires and monster hunters. I liked the actors/actresses but you can tell that the budget for this show wasn't that big. If you like Warrior Nun, though, you may like First Kill.

[deirdra-hearts-nadia]

I've been thinking about the fandom for The Arcana, and I have come to the conclusion that it's weird as hell. In my 20+ years participating in online fandom spaces, I've never seen a fandom quite like this one. I've seen drama, sure, but the core of most fandoms is a large community of people who love the same media and come together to celebrate it.

The Arcana fandom is not like that. From the very beginning we're more fractured, more factional, more fragile than most. You just have to look around at all the posts lamenting the death of the fandom every 2 weeks to see that something is really wrong here.

And I think a lot of it has to do with the nature of the canon. I am not saying this to criticize The Arcana, the devs, Dorian, or my fellow fans. I have just noticed that, as a piece of media, this game occupies a very unique space that is reflected in the way its fans interact with canon and with each other.

Welcome to the TED talk ain't none of y'all asked for.

Part of what makes this fandom unique is the evolution of fandom as a whole in the face of new types of media. As gaming becomes more mainstream and games themselves become more complex, the way we engage has necessarily changed in response.

Books/ movies/ shows are slightly more static in terms of canon than video games; canon is what it is and how you interact with what is there is largely to do with who you are. Everyone has the same base material to engage with, and that results in a certain amount of constancy. You can't interact with The Princess Bride in a way that changes the movie, only in ways that change your own perception. There isn't a whole lot of room for OCs without rewriting canon, so fans tend to consume OC-based fiction and art with the assumption that it's likely to be self-insert wish fulfillment fantasy time. That isn't always true, but there is a reason the term Mary Sue was coined.

Otome games and other choice-based video games make a very different fan environment, because the way you interact with canon is completely different. You have to build a character in order to interact with the story, and your choices directly impact your experience of canon.

But most western choice-based games are in the context of a larger RPG universe, e.g. Fallout or Dragon Age. There is a lot more to the story than the romance plot and so there's a lot more world to experience, contextualize, and build upon. There's certainly plenty of unhinged ShepxGarrus erotica, but there's also an abundance of fanworks that engage with the plot, the worldbuilding, and the canon characters with relatively little of the player's character needing to be on the page at all.

By contrast, most otome games that make it to English-speaking fandom spaces are Japanese. The romance is the point, but we also start from a place of wariness of our fellow fans. Because there's a huge difference between "harmless weeb" and "orientalist fetishizing creepo," and you know going in that both ends of the spectrum are possible, there is an amount of caution. We curate our space, looking for the creators who align with our expectations and values before we ever begin to interact.

The Arcana falls in a very unique and odd space because it is an otome, but made by Americans, with an attempt at a diverse fantasy cast. It's intended to be for American/ English-speaking audiences and is marketed as such. But making a romance game in America is challenging. Our way of approaching online media, especially smartphone-accessible media, is super fucked up, right? We are constantly trapped between the dichotomies of moral duty (Must Protect The Children) versus appealing to the customer base (Boom Anime Babes with Tig Ol Bitties). Because this is a mobile game, the developers can't make money if the game is removed from the app store, so they want it to be rated teen at the most. But the enticing bit, the thing that captures a potential fan's attention, is the flirtation and sexy implications. So from the jump they're in a weird space purely because they chose to make a mobile game instead of an indie video game released on Steam or similar.

So now you have an inherently split audience: mature adults who know they're getting into a potentially explicit romance game, and young adults/teens who have grown up in a more insulated internet culture where normal words are replaced with Orwellian doublespeak, like "unalive" and "spicy time".

THEN you add in the fact that the developers tried to build a diverse fantasy world, which is a fantastic idea both from an inclusionary standpoint and a broader audience standpoint. But because they didn't employ any actual sensitivity readers (did they think they didn't need them because fantasy can't have racism? Did they justify it as not being in the budget? Would love to know what's going on there) they fell right into a lot of the classic traps. We've been over these time and again, so I won't get into them here. Suffice to say, there has been Discourse. The presence of those issues means that more experienced fans will see those things and call them out, and that criticism causes even more of a split: the zealous apologists versus the critics. And critics can fall into two further categories: those who love the canon and want to see it do better, and the bitches who just love having something to bitch about.

Unfortunately, this combination means that there are inherently factions to this fandom, with staunchly opposed approaches to the media. So even before you enter a fandom space, it's already wildly fractured simply because of the nature of base canon.

THEN add to that the fact that this game is a dating sim. And to engage with a dating sim, you have to build a character and make choices based on that character. Some people will approach this work as storytelling, and some will approach it as an escapist expression of self. Neither of these ways of engaging with canon is wrong. Enjoying a dating sim as Me But Better is fun and completely valid! Engaging with a dating sim as a storyteller collaborating with the developers is fun and completely valid! But the two approaches are opposed in purpose, and that can make it difficult for the two types of fans to engage with one another's work.

Storytellers will well and truly invest in building a character. They may even build out communities, countries, cultures, and languages to make their world all the richer. They are investing hours of blood, sweat, and tears into Their Craft, pouring themselves into an opus of quality fanwork. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to big feelings. Fan artists and writers may feel underappreciated if all they get out of their hard work is 2 likes and a gif of a wolf making AWOOGA eyes. They may feel that critique of their work is unwarranted, or that there's no point creating if no one will engage.

The romantics will engage with canon and fanwork from the perspective that "this is my fantasy romance time". Their OC isn't so much Original Character as Optimized Characteristics--that is, their perfect self. They are here for wish fulfillment fun times in the relative privacy and anonymity of the internet, and good for them! But that may mean that criticism of canon or their fan work feels excessively personal--it is very hard to detach the ego from the OC when that OC is a projection of your best self. They may view any critique as a personal attack as opposed to a good-faith attempt at engagement or conversation. This can lead to defensiveness, or to leaving the fandom outright if it feels too hostile.

Unfortunately all of these factions cause rifts in the community. This sometimes turns into fandom vigilantism, where people begin to see any fan who doesn't wholeheartedly agree with them as an enemy. I've seen friends experience bullying and cruelty over their OCs and their art. I've seen predators use the isolated nature of the fandom to further isolate and prey upon already vulnerable individuals. I've seen some really shitty stuff.

But I have also seen beautiful community flourish. I've made friends who feel more like family than my actual relatives. I've seen people work through struggles and overcome deliberate attempts to tear us apart, finding forgiveness and friendship along the way. I've seen myself and others grow because of the community and inspiration we found here. And I saw all of that because I found my people. And I hope, Arcana fandom, that the rest of you can find your people too.

[fatal-3nvy]

Ok, I'mma get a little real here since it's one year on since I fully got into wrestling. And I'm feeling things, so if that's not cool. Keep scrolling and have a nice day ☺️

So, all I can really say is (in the cheesiest way possible) how grateful I am that I got into professional wrestling. Especially AEW and it's community on here.

AEW was kind of an accident, I was scrolling through recommendations and came across two videos. One, was a guy wearing a suit and a burberry scarf verbally eviscerating CM Punk (hehe). The other was a guy, completely wet haired and wide eyed, talking in my accent. My fucking accent!!

Yep, that's how I found MJF and Pac at the exact same time. And thus the rabbit hole began. Pac and his unapologetic capability of being himself, and just a violent lil prick. And Max, with his silver tongue, sharp wit and complete honesty in his neurodivergency. (God that RSD promo hit me like a ton of bricks).

Tumblr was kind of a dead site for me for nearly 4 years or so, fandoms kind of pushed me out or I just left them because of toxicity.

But after wrestling twitter was an absolute SHIT SHOW, I thought Tumblr why the hell not? And holy shit, I was welcomed so warmly and whole heartedly. It was ok to be new, to talk too much, to be full of theories and curiosity. It's been amazing!

And especially (and I've put this at the bottom in case I get exposed lol) after World's End and the breakup of BTYBB/breakup of the century. I ended up joining a group chat of people from here. I was so scared to do it (lowkey have trauma from those things). But...it was the best decision I've ever made!! Some of the sweetest, kindest people I've ever met (and the most unhinged *mwah* 🖤).

The community here (and my friends in the gc), y'all have been there for me more than you would ever know...my mental health has been pretty awful for the majority of the past few months. But, talking to y'all has made everything so much brighter.

I'm grateful wrestling exists, because I met all of you...I did lowkey vomit a lil in my mouth saying that but it's true.

Ok, sappy post done. Now I might be getting some Pac/Will/MJF interaction tomorrow, ans resuming wondering when Wardlow will return from the war.

[beautifuldisaster88]

Don't Blame Me

A/N: I just randomly came up with this whole listening to Taylor Swift's song Don't Blame Me. I feel like that would so be Unhinged!Rafe and InnocentTurnedUnhinged!Girlfriend. Like they would do whatever it takes to protect each other. Sorry in advance if it sucks. I didn't proofread or anything. Simply wrote it and posted right after.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

She ran as fast as her legs would take her the moment that she found out Barry planned on betraying Rafe, and turning him in. After trying over and over again to call Rafe, having no luck, she panicked, throwing her phone as she kept running. Her chest tightened and breathing became more difficult, but a panic attack wasn't going to stop her from getting to Rafe.

Drenched in sweat and out of breath, she spotted the Kildare County Sheriff's department boats, making her worst nightmare come true. It was too late. They'd found him. No, fuck that! Nobody was taking her love away, not even the fucking law. That's when she spotted him, face smashed into the mud and a large deputy on top of his. From what she could see, they already had her man in handcuffs. Wrong move, assholes.

Removing her gun, well Ward's gun, from the waistband of her shorts, she quickly turned off the safety, and stepped out from behind a tree and pointing it straight at Shoupe's head. All eyes were on her, including Rafe's. An eerie silence washed over those who were meant to serve and protect.

"You've got two options here, Shoupe. One, you let Rafe go and forget any of this happened. You destroy every file, every piece of evidence, anything that pertains to Rafe. Option number two." She cocked the gun, the click echoing from the dead silence. "I don't think you're going to like option two. Two, I pull the trigger and put a bullet in your fucking skull. Then you can reunite with Peterkin. Sure, I might not be fast enough to shoot all of you, but you can bet your asses, I'm taking most of you down with me. Your choice, Shoupe."

She took a step closer, more than ready to shoot. The look in her eyes was unlike any they'd ever seen. The once sweet and innocent girl was gone, replaced with a stone cold killer. After all, she was just a girl in love, and that meant protecting the man she loved at all costs. Consequences be damned.

"You don't wanna do that. You're not like him. You're not a killer." Shoupe tried to plead with her, but his words were useless. He might as well have been a baby babbling.

"That's where you're wrong. Now, I'm going to count to three and if your buddy still doesn't back the fuck away from Rafe, he'll be the first to reunite with Peterkin. One."

"Think this through. Is he really worth losing your life over? I know you, you're a good girl. You've got a clean record. Can't you see what he's doing to you? He's poisoned you."

"Yes. Yes, he is worth losing my life over, and he's not fucking poisoning me! He just helped me realize who I truly am. Also, you don't know shit about me. None of you fucking do! Whatever blood is on his hands, I've got the same on mine. Two. Don't make me get to three, Shoupe. I'm warning you."

The deputy that had Rafe on the ground, dug his knee deeper into the Cameron boys back. "Get the fuck off me! Don't you dare fucking hurt her, Shoupe! I'll fucking kill you myself if anything happens to her!" Rafe yelled, trying his damnedest to fight off the deputy. Having his hands cuffed behind his back wasn't helping. He panicked, picturing the worst. He had to get free, had to save his angel.

"Three. Don't say I didn't warn you."

In the blink of an eye, she had the gun pointed at the deputy's head, finger on the trigger and ready to shoot.

"Don't blame me, love made me crazy. If it doesn't you ain't doing it right."

"WAIT! WAIT! DON'T SHOOT!" Shoupe screamed, looking between her and the deputy, his hands up in surrender. The look in her eyes said everything, she was going to kill the deputy. Love really had made her crazy. The other deputy's shot hesitant looks at one another, but slowly began to lower their weapons.

"Let the boy go." Shoupe instructed him, earning a look as though he'd lost his mind.

"He killed Peterkin! This bastard is going to rot behind bars." The deputy spat, digging his knee deeper into Rafe's back.

"I SAID LET HIM GO DAMNIT! OR THE GIRL WILL SHOOT! WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE BLOOD SPILLED!"

Doing as he was told, the deputy uncuffed Rafe, releasing his weight off the Cameron boys back, making Rafe smirk... That was until he saw the deputy reaching for his gun in his holster, eyes glued on the only girl that Rafe has ever loved. Oh no he didn't, nobody was shooting his girl.

In one swift motion, Rafe wrestled the deputy to the ground, grabbing his gun and hitting him in the head with it, hard enough to knock the big guy on his ass. With both of them still pointing their guns at the officer's, Rafe quickly made his way to her side.

Taking her hand, they laced their fingers together, both glancing over at each other.

"Together until the end, yeah?" Rafe whispered to her.

She nodded, squeezing his hand. "Together until the end, baby. I love you, Rafe."

"I love you too, angel. If we make it outta here, 'm taking you far away and we're gonna start that life we always talked about, yeah? Yeah. I promise."

Shots rang as the couple began shooting at the deputy's, trying their hardest to dodge the bullets as they shot back.

"Shit. Motherfucker shot me!" She hissed, grabbing her side as she put a bullet into the deputy's skull. Her side hurt like a motherfucker, the pain worse than anything she'd ever experienced. Still, she wasn't about to just lay down and die. No, they'd come this far, and this was not how her and Rafe's story ended.

"angel, you okay!? Talk to me, baby!" Rafe yelled out from behind a tree, trying to avoid the flying bullets that hit the bark above his head. The panic evident in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah, m'fine. Don't worry 'bout me."

Rafe could tell by the sound of her voice that she was lying. He knew her inside and out, and knew when she was lying. She wasn't fucking okay. He couldn't lose her. No, not her. Without thinking twice, he ran out from behind the tree, staying crouched down as he ran towards her, dodging bullets as he shot at the remaining officer's along the way. Shoupe was nowhere to be seen, meaning the pussy ran and left his deputy's to die. Not surprising.

As soon as Rafe reached her, he wrapped an arm around her, using his strength to keep her on her feet. The color in her face was fading, white tank top now soaked in crimson.

"We gotta go, baby. Gotta get you outta here and patched up. You're fucking crazy, you know that?"

He chuckled, shaking his head as he quickly planted a kiss on the side of her head, before scooping her up in his arms.

"Like I said, don't blame me love made me crazy."

[bxriles]

The Importance of Authors Fulfilling Promises to their Readers

Seeing people defend Gege's writing of jjk these over these last few months is WILD. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that includes me. So here's my 900th unhinged rant on this subject because hoooo boy there are THOUGHTS on this topic.

Before anyone comes for my throat, these are my opinions. You get yours and I get mine. And this is LONG lmao.

I've seen all the justifications for Gege's current writing saying that jjk is about being different from the standard shonen manga and being more realistic in its storytelling (i.e., killing the powerful characters) and whatever and YES. All of that is true. I don't have a problem with any of that. I would say all of that is why most of us fell in love with this story to begin with. Examples of this (done well) includes:

Nanami's death. Tragic. Broke my heart. But I think Gege was right to kill him. Nanami had served his purpose at that point, he died protecting the next generation, and despite how sad I was to see him go, I thought it was good writing. There was no need to keep him around at that point. Gojo gets put in the box. This made perfect sense to me from a narrative standpoint. Gojo Satoru is a NIGHTMARE for ANY author to write. His very existence is a problem because he can solve all of the problems of the universe and remove all conflict from the story. Sealing away the most powerful character was a perfect way to take him out of the narrative while still leaving his presence lingering over everyone. This also deviates strongly from traditional shonen because no character that powerful would have ever been sealed with ACTUAL ramifications in something more "standard" like Naruto! It broke the mold in the best way possible. I'd also say that the way Kenjaku went about sealing him was excellent. There really weren't any ass-pulls to get him in that box. Kenjaku takes Geto's body (a strategic decision), hides that body from everyone at the school, executes an insane plan that he knows will exhaust Gojo and mentally push him to his limits, and then SURPRISE! Here's your dead lover's best friend's body! Now get in the box(((: I thought it was good writing and completely necessary for the plot to progress. Megumi's possession. From the very beginning, Sukuna has been interested in Megumi. Seeing that pay off? Watching Sukuna do the worst thing we can imagine to Megumi? Amazing. Wonderful. Loved everything about it.

So, I don't have any problems with jjk's previous storytelling. I thought that it was well executed, broke the previous Shonen formula, and delivered good story telling.

You know what I do have a problem with? Writing like this:

Higuruma is suddenly as talented as Gojo. Bro what? I like Higuruma, but this dude has been a sorcerer for all of what? Two seconds? He's a suicidal lawyer who just got magic powers and only VERY RECENTLY started working with Yuji and company and he suddenly has as much talent as Gojo Satoru? The man with the Six Eyes? Be. For. Real. What is the point of this? If you needed an OP character, you already had Gojo. So again. What was the point?

Higuruma's possible death. We're only up to chapter 248 at the time of me posting this, so this may change. But as of right now, we've been told Higuruma is dead. He may come back, but we don't know. Either way, we're told dude is gone. What was the point of this death? We already saw Yuji lose a beloved male mentor figure (Nanami) and we already saw someone who had the potential to kill Sukuna fail (Gojo) soooooo... What was the point? We've seen this done before and it's boring to see it hashed out yet again but with new characters.

Kenjaku's motivations and death. I personally think that making Kenjaku a mad scientist for the sake of being a mad scientist is lazy. With all of his hair brained schemes (guys, he like straight up fucked Yuji's dad, come on), you would have thought he had some legitimate motivation. I can admit this is my own personal opinion and some might like this, but I think this is a weak explanation for all the nonsense he's done. And his death? Like... Okay?? Some rando newbie sorcerer is the one to kill Kenjaku? Kenjaku--one of the top two Big Baddies? All right?? I wouldn't say this is bad per se, but I would say it feels very unearned. (And before anyone freaks out, yes I know it's technically Yuta who delivers the killing blow, but it really was Takaba who put the work in and got Yuta to that point. Again, it feels unearned.)

And finally, the big one. The one that most people are upset about and the one that most people reference when they talk about the decline in writing and one that's about to get a(nother) long ass rant from me.

The lack of any meaning in Gojo Satoru's death.

I need to be perfectly clear that I do not have a problem with Gojo dying. Again, he's a nightmare character for an author to handle so I get it. I have a problem with HOW he was killed. Sukuna using Megumi's body was great. The whole battle of the domains was decent. But the end??? Gojo hits Sukuna point blank with a hollow purple (after Sukuna said he would die if he was hit with a point blank hollow purple) and then...? Sukuna pulls out some BS world cleaving slash that cuts Gojo in half (off screen mind you), heals himself, and then is perfectly--PERFECTLY--fucking fine after getting hit by an attack that he said would kill him???? And then he isn't weakened at all? Bro what??? How is that good writing? Even if you're all about subverting expectations and JJK breaking the shonen mold, how is that good writing? How is that satisfying???

Gojo's death meant nothing. He did nothing. He didn't even weaken Sukuna. He didn't give the students a leg up. It meant... Nothing. And I know that some people think that's the point, that jjk has realistic storytelling and that it's realistic to have a meaningless death but I would STRONGLY disagree. You want meaningless deaths in JJK for the sake of "realistic" meaningless deaths? You have Tsumiki and Yuki. Sure, Tsumiki's death pushes Megumi into the pits of despair because Shonen manga loves a good bit of *man pain* but what was her real influence on the story? Outside of the Megumi thing, she had zero impact on jjk. And Yuki?? Killed off-screen for some reason??? To buy Choso some time??? When she is arguably the more important one??? All right?? Christ, fucking Junpei's death meant more to the narrative and he was basically a fucking footnote in the grand scheme of things.

The problem with Gojo having a meaningless death is that Gege as the author broke his promise to his readers. Gege sets up a story that tells us how influential Gojo is and spends quite a bit of the narrative showing us once again how important he is. Whether he meant to or not, writing a setup like that means there will be expectations from your readers that no matter what happens to that character, it will mean something to the narrative. A good example of this done both well and poorly is Game of Thrones/ASOIAF, which is another story that breaks the mold of a genre like JJK.

Ned Stark is a POV character in the first book. He's important. He's the Lord of Winterfell and becomes the Hand. He's honorable. He's good in a world that favors the wicked and people know it. And then he gets killed and his death haunts the narrative and it means something. Robb starts a war. Sansa becomes a hostage to the Lannisters. Arya has to flee. Jon has to reaffirm that he's a man of the Night's Watch and can't go help his brother. The Red Wedding. Catelyn becomes Lady Stoneheart. The Boltons take Winterfell. The North Remembers (it's being set up better in the books I swear). And it goes on and on and ON. We're told from book 1 that Ned is important. George completely deviates from the fantasy genre by killing off one of the main POV characters in Book 1, but he still fulfills the promise that Ned's death will mean something and that Ned will be important even though he's dead. Ned's death then haunts the story from that point forward. An example of this done poorly? The show. We're told Jon Snow is important. We SEE that Jon Snow is important. Jon Snow is the rightful heir to the iron throne. And what happens? We get a season of "I dun want it!" and then he kills Dany and goes back to the Night's Watch to live out the rest of his days with his boys. He's not king. Killing Dany had no real repercussions. D&D tried to show us that it was Jon's identity that made Dany snap but it felt half-assed since she was already heading down that path before she found out. A promise was made that Jon Snow would ultimately mean something by the end of the story and guess what? Absolutely none of it mattered. He didn't even kill either of the Big Baddies. And he didn't do anything with knowledge of who his parents were. He wasn't Azor Ahai. He wasn't the prince that was promised. So it meant nothing. A promise was made to us by George (and the show runners ugh) that Jon was important and then it turned out that he wasn't. And the public outcry that GOT S8 received speaks for itself on how bad that writing was.

To me, Gojo's death is no different. The narrative sets up his importance. Gege makes a promise to the readers that this character will ultimately mean something and then... Nothing happens. That isn't "realistic writing" or "breaking the shonen formula" at all. That's just bad writing. You're not any less of a fan of jjk or any less of an analytical reader if you don't buy the whole "this is good writing because that's the point of JJK--to break the shonen mold!" There are ways to achieve that sentiment that are good. And I would even go so far as to say that the people like me who are irritated with this writing have no issues with Gojo dying. We have issues with how he was killed and how poorly it was all executed. And I'm not going to be told I "don't get the point" of JJK because of it.

And then there's the fact that Gege has set his story so far apart from other shonen manga (like Naruto or BNHA) that the readers will no longer tolerate any sort of "lemme pull this out of my ass" writing that they would have otherwise tolerated from Naruto or DBZ or Bleach or BNHA. (Note: I do love those stories btw! But they're guilty of this storytelling.) So when Gege shows us that Yuji suddenly has RCT (that's fine ig, he's been training) or tells us that Higuruma has as much talent as Gojo or does some bullshit that saves Sukuna from Higuruma's sentencing or has a random explanation that he pulled OUT OF HIS ASS for why Sukuna will inevitably get his shit rocked by the students, all of which are CHILDREN, when the strongest sorcerer of the modern era couldn't do shit to him, then YEAH. I'm going to think it's bad writing.

And yes, I am aware that JJK is Yuji's story, not Gojo's. I understand. I'm not saying I want Gojo to be the main character. I'm saying that this absurdly powerful character who influences everything was wasted in the hands of the author's current writing.

TLDR: It's not "good" writing or "realistic" writing for an author to write meaningless shit that ultimately does nothing for the story when that author has already made a promise to their readers to do the opposite. Criticizing this type of writing does not make you any less of a JJK fan and it does not mean that you "don't get it." You are allowed to be critical of a work you love.

Argue with the wall if you disagree.

[active-mind-15]

Headcanons for Akashi laughing 🤭

Back with another headcanon post. Hooray for chronic Akashi brainrot! Lemme make this quick so I can go to bed.

As we all know, for most of the manga/anime, Akashi is someone who is portrayed as a serious, analytical, and (depending on which personality is in control) cold person. But he wasn't/isn't always like that as we've come to realize. Let me explore his character chronologically through the canon material before I get into my headcanons so we can establish some things about his personality.

When he was a child, he was seen to be much more of a smiley person because while his mother was still alive she allowed him to just be a kid. So I'm sure he had plenty to smile about before her passing.

After that, Akashi enrolls in Teiko, and at age 13 he still smiles, but they're smaller and he seems more mild-mannered and reserved compared to when he was younger. However, that doesn't mean his smiles aren't genuine. He still had happy moments in Teiko up until his second year, and he enjoyed hanging out with the rest of the GoM + Kuroko and Momoi. But we still never really saw him laugh. I'm sure he did during those times, but it was never anything that was shown explicitly.

After he switched personalities, he was barely smiling at all. Bro was miserable. He would smile every once in a while but in more of an unhinged way if that makes sense. Maybe he chuckled once when he met Mayuzumi. If you can even call it a chuckle. It was more like he puffed out a breath of air. And again, it was in more of an unhinged way. I remember in one of the Replace novels, Mibuchi made an observation that before Akashi switched back to his true self, he could never tell if his smile was genuine or if he was simply using it as a tool to get others to let their guard down. This is what I mean by "unhinged".

But post-Winter Cup? Akashi is nothing but smiley and I love that for him. Obviously, it's still slightly toned down, but it's a much better improvement from both his first year at Rakuzan AND his entire Teiko run. He seems to have just finally given up on facades and allowed himself to be more open with how he feels, which has canonically led to his teammates seeing sides of Akashi they'd never seen before.

In the post-Winter Cup content, I've seen him chuckle a lot more, and his voice when he chuckles is the most precious thing ever and I wish I could hear more of it. But that takes care of the canon, so let's get into my headcanons, shall we?

First of all, what makes Akashi laugh? Well, from the canon, we've seen that most of the time, it's when he's watching his teammates' antics and chuckles in amusement. But if you really want to make him laugh, I feel like, similar to my headcanons on how to startle Akashi, you'd have to catch him off guard. Like, you'd have to say or do something so ridiculous and left-field that it catches Akashi off guard and makes him laugh out of the sheer unexpectedness of it all.

So, how would Akashi look when he laughs? It would depend on how hard he's laughing. If it's one of those cute lil chuckles he does, he has this small smile on his face and his eyes sparkle with fondness. But if you're lucky enough to get an unrestrained laugh out of Akashi, chances are either his head is tilted back or his shoulders are hunched as he's bent over trying to catch his breath. He's probably not even looking at you either because when he laughs like that his eyes can't help but close. And his face crinkles in the most precious way.

How does he sound when he laughs? For small chuckles, we already have examples of this in canon; refer to the KNB drama CD season 3 volume 9 if you need a reference. But if he were to laugh really hard? Well, first of all, he pegs me as the type of person who would at first try and hold himself together before failing miserably.

I'm not sure if this counts as canon or not, but I remember a KNB video game where there was a scene where the GoM was reminiscing on some couple's costume event they were dragged into participating in back in Teiko, and Akashi had mentioned that when he saw Aomine in a dress and Midorima in a woman's kimono, he literally had to stop looking at them to keep from bursting into laughter.

Going off of that, if Akashi was caught off guard and found something really funny, he'd probably be like "PFFFT" before catching himself and trying to hide his growing smile behind his hand. But then it gets too hard to hold in his laugh so he gives up and just laughs wholeheartedly. The more funny something is, the harder it is to hold back, so if he's laughing really hard, you will absolutely hear it. He's not a super loud laugher like Kise or even Takao, but if he's laughing hard he's definitely not quiet about it. His voice sounds very melodic while he's laughing, too. He probably got that from his mom. 🥹

How do people react to him laughing? GoM + Momoi are more accustomed to seeing him happy/smiley, so when he laughs, they're more endeared by it, if anything, because it reminds them that Akashi is back to his old self. But his Rakuzan team (more specifically, the Uncrowned Kings) is still getting used to Akashi's true self and is figuring things out about him every day. So I would think that post-Winter Cup is when they hear Akashi properly laugh for the first time and all of them come to a nonverbal agreement that they must protect Akashi's smile at all costs. They also take note of things that Akashi finds amusing just for the sole purpose of using them to make him laugh again and see that adorable laughing face of his.

As time goes on and Akashi becomes more open, it's less and less difficult to get him to laugh, and he expresses himself much more freely compared to before. Happiness is a good look on him and his friends hope that he continues to stay this happy for a long time.

Alright, that was my rambling for the night finished. I need to sleep cuz I have class in the morning.

[merionettes]

part 1 of how rubicon got written is here. this is part 2, aka the essay about etc.

the thing about the storyboarding/drafting process that there is no way to describe is how totally obsessed i was for the duration. afterwards i tweeted something like, this is the closest i've ever experienced to demonic possession. i would get up, write all day—like, all day—and go to bed. turn off the lights. then i would just lie wide awake in the dark with lines and scenes and dialogue scrolling through my head until i gave in and opened my notes app. i could not turn it off even if i wanted to. and i didn't want to, i was riding that streak as far as it would take me. because i couldn't look down, right? i could sense what i was attempting to do and anything other than total tunnel vision full speed ahead eyes on the prize would mean i had to acknowledge it.

(context of what made this possible: i was unemployed at the time.)

for the first ~50k or so i was afraid that at any minute i could falter. when i got to the nationals meltdown, that was when i knew i could do it. like, no matter what happened after that, i had the willpower and the chops and i knew where i was going. even if the streak died.

but it didn't. i wrote 100k in a little under 4 weeks. i've never experienced anything like that in my creative life. 

—then obviously i had to get a new job and come back down to earth and it took 21 months to get from there to posting the epilogue. still. i will probably be chasing that high for the rest of my life. that was the part that like… made the rest of it possible. no matter how difficult or frustrating it was. that generated the roadmap. 

i've talked about this before in comments but i had insanely strong opinions about what was "right" and what wasn't. sylvain's narrative voice was a huge part of that. it's inextricable from the content; it shaped the story; it is the story. for the first couple months it also made me an unhinged stylistic tyrant. if there was one single unnecessary word that struck me as inorganic, as existing solely to make the sentence more digestible or to convey information beyond the fourth wall, it had to go. i could not rest until it did. 

once again: this is not generally the relationship i have with writing. lol. it's the demonic possession talking. this is why you have a ton of sentence fragments and stylistic tics and a refusal to let one single shred of information into the text that did not strike me as something sylvain would plausibly think or acknowledge he was thinking. and like, yeah. probably it didn't always make for the smoothest reading experience or the most satisfying narrative development. i'm dead certain there are people who picked this fic up and the bumps drove them out of their mind until they threw in the towel. i just didn't care. 

part of that was a reaction to my own old style—you know, the discomfort of shedding old skin. i'd look at those early scene attempts and see all the habits and crutches i'd been trying to move away from over the last two years and double down on The Voice. but part of it… i would get early feedback that wasn't at all wrong, like "what if [clarifying narration]," "what if [more interaction]," and i'd just think, but that's not true. in exactly those words! which is crazy.

(this is why it was fortunate this was fanfiction i was writing for free, i didn't have to compromise my bonkers experience any more than i wanted to.)

to be clear this feeling didn't last two years. i was eventually able to edit like a normal person. it did last probably longer than ideal. and the point when i was no longer running on unleaded creative adrenaline was when i started to really struggle with the middle of the story. i had to make choices as a writer, instead of relying on the purity of my divine vision or whatever, and i second-guessed myself a lot. it was much easier to feel that absolute bone-deep certainty of Right and Wrong, True and False. and the thought of fucking up when i'd gotten so far was unbearable—like, being so close to making the thing in my head reality and then dropping the ball and breaking the suspension of disbelief.

distance also made it possible to perceive what i was doing and be like, jesus mer what the fuck are you doing. why are you devoting so much of your time to a hobby, why are you investing so much of your life in something you will never be able to truly share, why are you living in a hole with no one else in it. why are you putting yourself through the wringer to get it down "right." why does it matter if it's as good as it can be. why do you care. why is this worth it.

i assume this was pretty obvious before this post, but if not it must be now. this story isn't really about figure skating. for me it's about writing; who knows what it's about for you. i didn't sit down and think, great, felix will be a metaphor. that's just how it happens. 

the experience of writing a novel for the first time: i'm saying this with my whole chest because at one point i wouldn't have, aloud. but what's the point in calling it anything else? i know exactly how much i invested in this. i'm the only one who can know. that's sort of the point. 

here's a giant collage of the inside of my head. i made it for myself and i take it very seriously. not exactly groundbreaking to say this is the ultimate exercise in solipsism. when you're doing that—what greater gift is there than to have someone else meet you in exactly the same place. any writer would kill for the kind of responses this story has gotten, and i don't mean praise. i mean the close reads, the free response essays, the total and complete validation that this thing inside your head that only you can see is real, actually. when i say thank you, it's not for liking it or praising it—it's for taking it seriously. i loved this thing. i still love this thing. thank you for taking it seriously.

[vizthedatum]

Moments as moments

My friend (Slow Down) publicly posted

"Part of being human is that there are going to be times when we feel weaker - mentally, emotionally, etc. What we DO in these moments is key.  My therapist encourages me to recognize such moments as MOMENTS.  Our system likes to generalize - that this moment will last forever - and it’s good to say, “This is true right NOW, but this isn’t the totality.” The practice is coming to say to myself in those times of darkness and hardship, “This is gonna pass.”

What has helped you get through a difficult period before?"

And this was my response:

Understanding that a moment will pass is extremely difficult for me, even if the moment is one of joy.

I think it helps to think of it as an attachment, and for most of my life, I have felt pretty traumatized to be stuck in moments or "rudely" ripped from them.

Knowing that moments are indeed moments... is not something I was explicitly told or even learned to operate under when I was younger. I just felt like I was in a state of panic, shifting constantly and feeling entirely out of place.

--

It is getting better, though: to feel moments as just moments, knowing they will pass. I can enjoy a moment and be present AS MUCH AS I can. And that I can experience a really tough moment, be present, maybe dissociate (because I have that skill now due to PTSD, but I have more control over it than ever before), and *know* that it will pass.

One such challenging moment was when I woke up for surgery this year. This was my second surgery of this specific type. I have had different surgeries in my life that were FAR more invasive, intense, and painful.

I was in so much pain when I woke up, and *past me* would have tried to minimize it because past me didn't know that I deserved to take up space.

Besides, I have changed so much... the more I unmask, the harder it is for me to return to how bad it all felt.

I bawled and screamed so hard. Logic went out the window. It was just pain, frustration, anger, and grief - I have had such a trying history with that hospital and my chronic bladder condition. The nurses (who were really nice and trying their best) told me it would pass, and I screamed, I KNOW IT WILL, BUT IT HURTS NOW.

I demanded to see the doctor (THE DOCTOR WHO IS MY FUCKING BOSS - long story); a different doctor came and held my hand while reassuring me of what happened in the procedure. I demanded specific pain meds (but I was given narcotics, which I DIDN'T WANT). By the time I was able to speak coherently that I needed my specific urinary pain meds, I was throwing up from the narcotics and couldn't even keep water down, so I threw up the pain meds I actually needed.

It was so awful, but I'm happy I actually let myself feel horrible when I was feeling horrible. Even if it made me look unhinged.

I'm so positive that many people thought I've been unhinged the past couple of years (maybe longer). I don't care.

--

Having had chronic pain for so long, I have sometimes elongated my suffering, not because I wanted to but because I wasn't letting myself actually feel what I needed to feel. Even if I dissociate away from the pain, the emotional recovery is so hard - and then before the recovery is over, I'm in another pain flare.

--

I have been sick a lot this year, but it has felt different than in previous years. I'm still getting used to feeling things in the present. I'm making more and more discoveries about how I can be in the present. It is a worthwhile effort.

[super-paper]

Long ask btw, but I loved the incredible Armored Might post, especially after so many bad takes that I've seen about it. People keep calling him a hypocrite because it "goes against what he said in chapter 1" -as if Toshinori changing his mind after 400+ chapters of character development isn't possible- , or calling him selfish for not using the suit to help Izuku during the dark deku arc, or that he's reducing his students to quirks and going against their wishes of saving villains by using their quirks to inflict violence on AFO. I even saw the insane argument that "he was wilfully complicit in the mutilation and murder of his students" because he didn't join Endeavor or saved Bakugo. I've seen this fandom call him all type of stuff, from abuser to groomer, and even kidnapper. That he's manipulating Izuku for selfish reasons, and he's the most toxic influence in Izuku's life and should stay away from him. But to see fans actually claim that Toshinori, of all characters, purposely left his students and other heroes suffer and die just so he could get a grand entrance later on is one of the worst takes I've ever seen. WHO is this character these people are talking about?? What manga are they reading even????? So yeah, your post is refreshing in the midst of all negativity. I personally love Armored Might. The art is stunning (as always), the little details of Nanas color squeme are so sweet, the mecha suit looks so cool!! His unhinged attitude and feral expressions!! I LOVE ALL THOSE EXPRESSIONS! And while I'm not a huge fan of Class 1A, I found Toshi using his students quirks to help him fight as a way to honor them, to be very endearing. I know a lot of people were getting bored and tired of AM vs AFO and wanted the focus to shift to others, but I was enjoying every bit of that fight. I missed seeing the focus on Toshinori after being sidelined for so long, I loved seeing him fight again, and learn more about him and seeing the payoff of his character arc. I loved seeing him SMILE! And a real smile too! I was worried about how this would go, with the death flags and prophecy, however I think hori has so far handled Toshi's character beautifully :)

Thank you for the kind words! 🥹

"I've seen this fandom call him all type of stuff, from abuser to groomer, and even kidnapper. That he's manipulating Izuku for selfish reasons, and he's the most toxic influence in Izuku's life and should stay away from him. But to see fans actually claim that Toshinori, of all characters, purposely left his students and other heroes suffer and die just so he could get a grand entrance later on is one of the worst takes I've ever seen."

Yeah man I can't believe Toshi poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses. 😔

Picture related: The face of MHA's true villain (AFO who??)

I even saw the insane argument that "he was wilfully complicit in the mutilation and murder of his students" because he didn't join Endeavor or saved Bakugo.

Yeah, what I've been finding most baffling is that the people who are raking Iron Might over the coals for being a "suicide mission" and claiming that it "ruins Toshi's arc" are usually the same ones who argue that Toshi should've helped out in the fights at gunga/UA (where Toshi’s chances of actually being killed for realsies would’ve quadrupled bc prime AFO and Tomurafo would've been gunning after him at full health and with comparatively sound minds lmao). Iron Might was an untested last resort and it was only effective in the first place bc everyone at gunga wore AFO’s HP bar down and made him super emotionally unstable in the process-- but pointing that out is something else that gets met with derision from a lot of fans lmao.

Anyway, I feel that most of the arguments against Iron Might (esp. the argument that Toshi is falling back into bad old habits and trying "shoulder everything by himself") are ultimately lacking in both bite and sincerity-- because most of the time they completely disregard the whole of his arc, the context behind his decision to step in, and the multitude of events that led up to his stand off with AFO. Like:

Toshi legitimately trusted that the heroes at gunga would finish off AFO (and as much as I love punking on Endeavor, we do need to give credit where credit is due-- Endeavor did succeed in killing AFO. for like. five seconds. lmao.), but no one could have truly expected that AFO would have access to rewind.  

Toshi trusted that the UA fortress group would be able to contain TomurAFO, but no one could have expected that Himiko would yeet Izuku away from his intended battlefield (or that Kurogiri would later yeet Aizawa away from the fortress).  

Toshi trusted Shouto and Iida to stop Touya-- he had unshakable faith in Iida's speed and Shouto's phosphor, and hey, that belief in his students was rewarded! (and this point is especially important because if Toshi hadn't stepped in and encouraged Shouto to put his family/Touya first, Shouto would have chosen to confront AFO instead and *literally* everyone at Gunga would have died). 

But to see fans actually claim that Toshinori, of all characters, purposely left his students and other heroes suffer and die just so he could get a grand entrance later on is one of the worst takes I've ever seen.

Yeah, exactly.😭 This is another example of what I mean when I say their arguments lack sincerity bc like. The last time we actually saw Toshi in the control room was immediately after Touya got "defeated" at Kamino, when everyone at UA/Gunga was completely fine and the heroes actually thought they were gonna get an easy win (R.I.P, my guys-- never let anyone tell you u didn't shoot for the stars lmao). The next time we see Toshi, he's leaving the control room in a *flashback* panel-- so it's pretty heavily implied from this panel alone that Toshi left the control room the moment things started going south for the heroes. So like. He was rushing to help them as soon as it became apparent that they needed it and not just waiting for the perfect moment to "step in and steal all the glory."

Anyway, Toshi himself does not view his last stand against AFO as as him ~once again doing everything by himself~. He makes it very clear that the only reason he can stand up to AFO in that moment is because of the bonds/blessings/help he has received from others. The narrative doesn't treat this fight as Toshi shouldering everything alone, either-- and neither should the readers. 

I missed seeing the focus on Toshinori after being sidelined for so long

Yeah, the Toshi fans definitely deserved this. I'm glad they not only got their food, but a four-course-five-star meal.

[theworldisquietheretooquiet]

An unhinged post about why Graceland Too by Phoebe Bridgers is the most Maglor coded song ever

The reason I made the connection in the first place was because of this great post! With what happens to Maedhros esp and all the murder, that 1st line is perfect.

The others just capture that vibe of quietly leaving everything behind. And no one answered because there's no one left to.

Ugh this bit always gets me the most!! Because it's all so tragically true for him! He could stay in Middle Earth and do anything. The world is his oyster, the oath is over. But it's too late for that.

And the last line. 😭😭. He could go home to Valinor!! Finally. After so long and believing he would never get to. He presumably would just have to go and hand himself in to Eonwë. It's the possibility he hasn't had for so long. But he simply can't.

Such great vibes of him setting off on his mournful wanderings. All the stuff about music here is perfect, 'so thoughts don't intrude' esp.

The last bit is obvs a little hard to relate directly, but it does suggest to me dwelling on his brothers or father. The bit about songs coming true massively makes me think of the Noldolantë. The Fall of the Noldor written before they then basically fall entirely. In some ways, a song coming true.

Perfect post first age sense of utter meaninglessness. Also the last line fits so well for how a lot of the rebelling Noldor probably felt in ME.

Ok so in order to make these lyrics even sorta fit I am linking them to kidnap fam era Maglor. Staring at Eärendil!star with Elros & Elrond vibes. And a very twisted 'all that pain and evil was worth it/worth living through cause I got to meet the twins' line of thinking.

Oof okay. So this entire last bit I am imagining as about Maedhros. Not because I believe Maglor is a pushover who got bullied by him into the kinslayings or anything along those lines. Just as representative of the total, utter devotion he has for him (mixed with a nice bit of Thangorodrim guilt 👀). And how, although he might push back or argue, Maglor will do whatever Maedhros wants in the end. Its just how they are...

Listen to the song guys!! (and let me know if you think I've lost my mind or not :)

[alwek]

I can't say for certain but I think someone made an entire blog just to be weird on one of my posts???

It was in reference to the idiots that told me to "fuck off and die," to quote one anon, because I dared to have different problems in a different system than theirs. And this guy only has one reblog and it's that post, and it's to call me Canadian.

If that's true, and this isn't just some wild coincidence of discovery for someone, this is the most absurdly pathetic thing I've ever seen anyone do. TERFS have never even sunk that low. Or if they have they at least used a populated alt accout so it doesn't look weird as fuck. That's actually unhinged behavior, to form such a vendetta against someone you've never met in a different country just because you think the problems of their country aren't real. That can't be healthy at all.

Like it's one thing to use your main account, that's understandable, it's your main account, do with it what you please. But to make a whole new one just to do this? Genuinely, fuzzyruin, are you okay? What on earth could make someone claiming themselves on the rational side of things do something so fucking weird?

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

I just want to recap this whole situation from my POV actually because I think it would be useful at this point. And I actually want to start in 2014 on instagram during the spam ig era. I was a homestuck cosplayer on spam insta when I was 13 and dealt with the 4 chan raids, if anyone remembers those. So that's my background, just so you know. I got called a retarded dyke by proto gamergaters during my formative years, and it effected the way I engage online.

Anyway, hard cut to when I watched OFMD in April. I deeply related to Ed as a character. Most of my fan engagement for the first month or so was on tiktok, but I got off of it and went back to my social media of choice, Tumblr. I saw a lot of fucking Takes TM that I hated from a certain contingent of the fandom and I was critical of them, and so I started posting my own reading. Here's where the situation starts

I start posting my own reading of the show and I tag the characters that are in the show, hoping to find people who agree with my reading so I could follow them. I got yelled at for """maintagging""" which is an issue I've only run into before once, and the people who got mad at me about the """maintagging""" I received some agressive anons which I promptly deleted. I posted my Ed is Izzy's abuser post (tagged Izzy critical), got more aggressive anons, which I deleted for the most part. Had to tell some people how to block the Izzy critical tag. Cemented myself firmly in the izzy critical camp. I continued to see Shit Takes, in fact since the Izzy is Ed's abuser meta I've only ever made my Izzy metas in response to Shit Takes. I got on Calico Jack twitter, which I don't go on twitter all that often, and there's a lot of overlap between Izzy twitter and CJ twitter unfortunately, so that made me less likely to use twitter at all. I was mostly on there for the porn, so it's cool. I didn't interact with discourse hardly at all so twitter didn't feed me anything related to this.

Now over this period of time the situation on tumblr was getting completely unhinged actually. You couldn't post anything at all in the Izzy tag without someone crawling out of the woodwork to tell you that you were terrible for it. People did slowly learn to block the Izzy critical tag, but jesus christ it was a slow learning process for yall. Every day I'd get on here and post silly little posts, and then one of mine or my mutuals posts would be a little bit too mean to Izzy, and by a little bit too mean it would be something objectively true. And then people would just descend on it and there would be another fucking drama. And it's impossible to predict what's gonna set you off.

Now one drama was completely unrelated to Izzy at all. Stede Anon as we've been calling them, L as they've been referred to in that document showed up in june, left a few nasty anons, and then fucked off because the people that they were bothering turned off anon. Then they came back in October to bother me I played with Stede Anon until I got tired. I wished them a Karkalicious 2009 and sent them on their way.

Another drama I want to recap, which I hesitate to call a drama because of the racist under ... well... overtones is the "documenting of the Izzy haters" a couple of people made a whole sideblog dedicated to documenting the worst of the "Izzy haters". Except they didn't start out with the twitter doxing, or L/Stede Anon. They started out with a mutual of mine who is a black woman and who talks about racism in fandom. She has never harassed anyone to my knowledge and has had quite a bit of nastiness directed at her. I had heard some whisperings of potential harassment being directed at Izzy stans, and I had remained firmly out of it. This blog was too much for me. If they were dedicated to documenting the nastiness they were receiving in fandom, and their third post was about someone who posts metas and minds their own business, then there must not be real problems, especially since I'm catching all this fucking flack for simply posting things that aren't even mean. It may just be that I grew up on the internet but I can be real fucking mean, and I haven't been.

One instance of this is the Izzy isn't canonically queer drama. A mutual of mine posted that Izzy isn't technically confirmed as queer, his queerness is all subtext, that might be an interesting thing to analyze. Things got heated on my dash for a while. Since may there's been a problem in the OFMD community where people get yelled at for posting Izzy critical. And after a long argument with a certain Izzy stan in regards to the post in question I posted this because I was genuinely curious. Basically the argument consisted of us talking past each other, where I said "No one is calling Izzy straight we're just trying to analyze another facet of his character" and they said "You're doing harm to x y z group of Izzy enjoyers by saying that he's straight, and you're doing harassment." On that post that I linked I got told by one person that that post was "Doing harm" and that "hurt people hurt people" which is frankly the most absurd application of that phrase I have seen to date. I got told by a different person that I shouldn't have posted that because "izzy stans are receiving a targeted harassment campaign, worse than anyone else in the fandom" This was the final straw for me. If they think that that post is doing harm, they cannot identify harm. I made a passive aggressive post about curating your experience, blocked anyone who got mad about it, and my tumblr experience has been a lot nicer since I did that, because people blocked me and I blocked them. Everybody's happy.

So anyway then Stede Anon returned with a vengeance. My working theory is that this person is in school and they're on winter break and have more time to be a huge bitch. They accused me of being an Izzy stan I said "nice try you fucking idiot" in a way that was sort of dry, and I said Izzy stans have paper thin skin, and I refuse to loose sleep over them getting mean anons, but you still shouldn't harass them. That response got screen shot and lied about. Because of course it did. I was an idiot for thinking it wouldn't. I stand by what I said but if I could go back I would have been nicer I guess just because it would have caused me less drama. Some Anons came into my inbox and said hey you're a fake ally and you don't care about harassment and I was confused where they were coming from but essentially I said. "Girl, it's an anon" and then someone directed me to uselessheretics blog. And so I go check out the anon harassment that's got yall so worked up. And do you know what I see there? It's fucking Stede Anon!

So for a couple weeks I've been getting these vague messages about harassment and when I finally get directed to the harassment I see an anon that I have been fighting with and have blocked because of how fucking annoying they were. This, Stede Anon of Stede Anon Gate fame, is the unique threat facing the Izzy stan community. So of course I had a fucking field day with it. All of our fandom problems originate with this one shithead and I am going to hold hands with T*zzy*zzy and sing Kumbaya as we all collectively banish Stede Anon to the shadow realm. Hit that block button babes

And then today someone posted the link to the google doc receipts. And I realize now that there's actually been some harassment unrelated to Stede anon happening on twitter, and Stede Anon has been a real terror on IG. So perhaps I jumped the gun on casting doubt, but I maintain that I would not have said anything if not for certain people behaving completely out of pocket and crying about harassment on posts that are not harassment.

And I do want to address that actually. The reason for this whole thing, is because certain people are dragging up the harassment to try to get us to stop criticizing them. The undertone to all of this is very clearly "we're being harassed so you have no right to criticize us or talk about our blorbo in a way we don't like," which doesn't feel related, does it. I've seen the arguments that "they're using your rhetoric" but the thing is you're pointing me to a couple deeply mentally unwell people who I have no control over and you're saying "you should feel bad about this because you made a meta post about your reading of fictional characters that I didn't like" and getting mad when I'm confused that has to do with anything

So basically i retract my assertion that you're not being harassed, but you can clearly see how I got here, and also you keep bringing this harassment up to me in situations that have nothing to do with the harassment. And if you had fewer shitty takes I would make fewer metas.

I also do maintain that L/Stede anon is the source of most of our problems and we should be using the block button prodigiously

Here's how:

[bisexualbard-writes]

And:

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

how do you expect me to pick two or three of my favorite children?????? My most beloved comments??? The lights of my life??? I will give you a SMALL SELECTION that is NOT AT ALL EXHAUSTIVE. Starting with you @booksnchocolate my beloved. Even this is just a small sampling of your absolutely delightfully unhinged comments. I've added 'I'm roundhouse kicking god' to my daily vocabulary.

Then moving on to a delightful comment that is definitely from either chapter 7 or 8 of miserable art when I realized my true calling was making people cry

The comment that made me scream the most was actually a copy of a full exchange between @snickerdoodlles and @majestictortoise. THIS IS THE COOLEST COMMENT EVER??? I WANNA KNOW ALL THE SECRET THINGS YOU TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY FICS???

technically not a comment in the traditional sense but I'm counting all the memes @ringito makes for me

And then there's this gem which I pulled off of discord. I just look at it occasionally and live a little.

This list does NOT DO JUSTICE to all my wonderful commenters. For example the only reason @thewholedamnboulangerie, @cloudburst-ink, or @dummerjan aren't featured is because their comments are too long and cannot be cropped to bit sized snippets and this post needs to end eventually.

[hungryyheart]

@miidnighters

ty for your questions b!!!!!!!

SO. newly-infected hosts shed all of their teeth during Eighth Night; the old teeth are pushed out by the new teeth, which start developing under the membrane minutes after the parasite attaches.

ALL of the teeth in a vampii's mouth are made of ivory, not just the fangs, and they have an off-white, "parchment paper" appearance. each vampii is designed to have the same amount of teeth and a fairly similar layout (like humans), but there can be variations (like humans) depending on the individual. the classic layout includes four enhanced canines for stabbing and tearing (fangs), incisors to help to grab and slice prey, premolars, and then adapted molars that typically span from the second premolar to the back of the mouth, known as the shearing and crushing teeth (carnassials.) the jaw adapts to sustain the weight of the ivory as well as to unhinge in very very rare occasions (seen mostly in feral strains), and the mouth adapts to try and avoid over or underbites, although this isn't always the case for some (in urban strains, they'll usually be regulated to tasks that don't involve hunting and that aren't so "customer-facing"; in some cases they might actually be eradicated altogether)

on the topic of their mouths, their tongues also have enhanced papillae that make it easier to strip meat from bones!

the vampii lifespans differ greatly between the strains. this can get a little confusing because urban vampiis don't count their human years into their total lifespan, they only count the years spent living with the parasite (because it's sooooo fun and whimsical, clearly.) as a general rule most urban vampiis won't see past 90. ferals on the other hand can live well into their hundreds, averaging around 170 years with the parasite. i am pleased to say that conrad sets the record for the oldest ever vampii at the time of his death!! but let's not talk too much about it. sundays are sad enough already.

i've written many a post about the vampii societies, several of which i still need to transfer over from the old blog, but i'll try to make this summary as succinct as possible!

vampiis are split into two strains that branched off from the same initial infection: urban and feral. urbans live in groups of up to 20, known as colonies. ferals live in much smaller, tight-knit groups of about 7 to 9, known as packs. urbans live among humans (their primary source of nourishment) and as such, blend in as much as they can to aid them in their hunting efforts. ferals live in forests or patches of woodland (rarely countryside) and exist more closely to the true needs of the parasite.

the urban colonies are strictly hierarchal, led by a single vampii known as sàr, who is advised by a small council of vampiis they've hand-selected and who are normally assigned to overlook hunting and scouting parties. it is only the vampiis within this council that are permitted to sire more vampiis. there are some middle-ranking vampiis, but the bulk of most colonies consist of low-rankers. it's the aim of the low-ranker to move up the ladder, because low-rankers eat last. vampiis have about 3 days after a feed until they need to feed again. the longer they go without feeding, the closer they get to coming face-to-face with the bhiast.

feral packs, being much smaller, are more closely bonded (it's only the feral strains that can develop telepathy with each other -- does that ring a bell???? i am so predictable) and their main concern is distancing themselves from humans, and the urban vampiis. everyone feeds equally and everyone looks out for each other. however, because they choose to live a more "primitive" life (according to the urbans lmao), they're both ridiculed and feared by the colonies who consider them more monstrous and unruly.

conrad's siring was an accident. he was sired by a starving feral vampii who was mauled to death by scouts from the local urban colony. he was shunned by these same urbans because of his strain, and essentially left to die, but was rescued by one of his neighbours, who returned him to his family home. conrad fled this home on Eighth Night when the first stage of the transformation was completed, culminating in him eating his baby sister's bunny rabbits in front of everybody. this is not how things are done with vampiis, and it's only one of many reasons why conrad is such an enigma among them.

to answer your final question -- conrad doesn't fit in! his feral strain ostracizes him from the urban colony in the city and makes a pariah of him, as well as a threat to their safety, since some believe he'll lead the nearby feral pack to their doorstep. while it's true that he's been noticed by the feral pack, and invited to live among them, he refuses because he's scared of handing himself over to the infection. this is the main draw of living in an urban colony: the total denial. he could live a comfortable life among the ferals, but he's terrified of it, and of himself. he can't accept his lineage or himself because it's what makes him "wild".

the sàr of the colony in manhattan (i call it nyc on this blog but likewise with the freeks it's not actually nyc in the novel) isn't overly worried about conrad's presence in their territory because they know that conrad is harmless. however, this viewpoint is not shared by a trio of low-rankers in the colony, who harass and bully conrad to make themselves feel like they're actually doing something important (instead of the menial tasks they've been assigned to) by keeping the local stray on his toes. this is the closest he gets to being involved with his own kind. he mirrors the urbans in a lot of ways because he also chooses to pretend that what's happening to him isn't really happening to him, and he naturally gravitates toward humans because it's all he's ever known.

newly-sired vampiis are mentored by their sire, but conrad, rejected by the urbans and who in turn rejected the ferals, had to learn everything for himself. he's got the basics covered and frankly that's enough for him. it's not enough for the tall, naked bruised girl who stands and watches him in the corner of his attic abode some nights, but we'll talk about her another time.

[mixed-up-multiverse]

Captain Laserhawk and my Rabbids: Everyone's roles in this AU

// I've seen and learned enough of the important stuff in Captain Laserhawk a Blood Dragon Remix to finally be able to share what's up with the AU I have in mind for my Rabbids! Minor warning, this post is gonna get LONG.

To start off with all of them in general, the Rabbids are hybrids, as well as refugees from Dimension X, much like a certain Limbless fellow. This, along with them being genetic cousins to the giant Kaiju Rabbids, makes their mistreatment from the rest of Eden a lot worse.

Now, enter Kanya; who is the most unhinged here. Kanya was once a super sweet girl, but the abuse and mistreatment she and her brethren faced from the humans/Edenians has made her hate them with a burning passion. Now that she's in her teenage years, her pent-up rage has made her snap and go "enough is enough". So she's constructed giant combat robots (as well as some robotic minions) and gathered a lot of hybrid followers, with plans to make Eden 'better'. Unfortunately, this plan involves not just destroying the corrupt higher-ups who run the city, but all Humans/Edenians, including the children and innocent people. She's essentially become just as bad, if not worse, than the people she hates so much.

We now get to Louie. He's faced a lot of pain from Eden and it's Absolutely Bunk system as well, and he wholeheartedly agrees that enough is enough, too. In fact, he was an initial follower and friend of Kanya's. But when he learned that she was planning to kill innocent people as well, he grew disgusted with how twisted she had become, and left her side along with the other Rabbid Heroes, who felt the same way. They wanted to change the system, they never agreed to cause mass genocide. Now, he's actively trying to stop Kanya's forces along with everyone else who's split off from her, all while assisting his fellow Rabbids in achieving true peace in Eden-- a system where everyone is treated equally, and where nothing bad will ever happen again.

And finally, there's Midnite. But she's not involved in the fighting herself. Rather, she's a renowned Pop Star who is loved by quite a lot of Eden, for her music AND her looks. Since she's in the same boat as every other Dimension-X-refugee-Rabbid, she's had to fight pretty hard to get where she is now in terms of fame and popularity. The only reason she's still up there now despite all that's going on is because she's so pretty, and because she knows what to say to make people do what she wants them to. Midnite is well aware of what Kanya plans to do to all of Eden, and is openly and vocally supportive of the insane gadgeteer's plans to massacre all humans/Edenians due to hating them just as much. She even goes as far as to make musical propaganda (like songs encouraging human genocide) for said plans.