#most of them made my year end lists and the few that didnt just barely missed out bc i had like 65 pop albums in consideration

[bloodmoonlich]

This year I'm going to focus more on listening to older albums I never fully checked out. I'm building To Listen lists by decade. If anyone has recommendations please let me know! Looking for any decade and any genre.

I basically haven't listened to any full albums pre-2000 so those would pretty much all be new for me and I'm always happy to fill out the 2000s - 2020s lists more!

[moonsidesong]

just caught up with Your Turn To Die and absolutely adored it the whole way through. it goes unbelievably hard. calling it Danganronpa But Good feels like an insult. but like... yeah what if danganronpa was good? or rather. game that makes me wish danganronpa was good.

it really keeps you on your toes the Entire time, which is why i ended up saving like......... every five to ten minutes, most times. i would say the only slower part is the minigames during chapter 2? but, i thought those were fun, and they were still broken up by plot important stuff, so i really didnt mind.

ive heard the game had a soundtrack release on CD a few years ago, but i cant seem to find much information about it? much less any resell listings. how sad... i love cd...

i wanna talk more in depth from here on out so spoilers under the cut! warning thoughts very disjointed. and i havent seen absolutely Everything the game has to offer yet (havent done any of the side stories, we'll do them soon probably) so if my takes are disproven by anything ive yet to see please do not tell me htank you

first off OHHH MY GODDDD THIS GAME IS SO MUCH LESS CREEPY ABOUT THE MINORS AND ITS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR COMPARED TO DANGANRONPA. its not perfect, of course, i do not entirely love the jokes(???) about keiji (known grown adult man) going on dates with sara (known teenage girl), but like, this game does not make me feel gross all the time? thank u nankidai for not making your teacher character with a close relationship with one of his former students a groomer! the bare minimum! im gonna hit kodaka with a stick this should not be a point in the game's favor.

anyway! ended chapter 2 with Reko and Sou (shin) alive, ended chapter 3 having lost Reko .. . :( shes my favorite... i was so sad... ranmaru we're not friends anymore/.... you suck... you killed my best girl... we um, did make a grand total of 175 save files though, so at some point me and the friend i played with are gonna go back and scrub through anything and everything that we missed. maybe after we do the side stories though, not sure yet. reko yabusame i swear to god i will crawl into the screen and kill ranmaru myself for you. i will save you. i love you so much mwah

for years ive only known midori as The Guy That Kids On Danganronpa Discourse Instagram Put Overdramatic Yet Also Somehow Extremely Haphazard Trigger Warnings on every post that included him, so i was really excited to meet him. and boy he did not disappoint this guys NUTS!!! HES CRAZAY!!!!!!!! he has such a perfectly striking look about him. i love how he almost never stops looking straight at you, and how his suit is stark black so it obscures a lot of his shape when he's in the dark, its so cool. they absolutely nailed the atmosphere whenever you're around this guy.

but the first jumpscare when he like reaches out at you from the coffin just kinda made me laugh. me when i get you

also, if you're this far in to care about my opinions on games you probably know that i am Known Danganronpa V3 Hater. i think in particular Kokichi Ouma is way too good of a character for how dogwater the game's actual plot is, and Shin Tsukimi, while not being the same, obviously, scratches that itch of a guy trapped in a death game that spends all his time lying and living under a persona because he's afraid of dying perfectly While Being In A Game That Doesnt Make Me Feel Like Eating Sheet Metal . i love this dude and his ugly several clashing colors outfit. he wants my ass like mega dead right now but thats not important surely

also, i think its sweet that joe and sara are just best friends and they rarely ever even entertain the idea that they had romantic feelings for each other. i think its extra sweet and tragic that joe was able to tell sara he loved her in the end, meaning it as his best friend. and the way the game completely ceases showing you flashbacks of him after that point and just lets the image of the hallucinations replace his actual memory overtime is so good and haunting. this doubled down by the way her memory of him is completely locked up as soon as she starts trying to actually remember the way he really was, its so good.

i think thats all i have to say for now, but umm!!! really really good im excited to go back and fill in the gaps i missed. especially regarding kanna becasue i have a lot of theories about her that i hope im on the right track about #lol. but even if i dont i want to see her i miss her. yaay!!! i love when video games are good. i love you video games.

ill probably make more posts down the line with more thoughts after i let them marinade in my brain for a while... mostly when i have thoughts ive been sending them to the friend im playing with so we can discuss theories together LOL

[someone-always-cares]

curb your enthusism theme plays

in advance: comic is still going full steam ahead, very small delay, have a new temporary laptop

so. pretty much day after that last post, this happens! long story short, its a hard drive issue (likely hardware issue not software), which is bad because that's where the computers everything lives!

so: waited to go back to work to ask it guys there for help, they cant (time + liability issue, completely understandable), went to local it repair, they told me there was a very good chance of restoring my files. they couldn't. checked out some data recovery specialists, but those cost £500-700ish vaguely, saw one place for £299 (price listed ex vat because theyre dicks) and got excited and contacted them but luckily i checked some not google reviews and saw multiple "don't go here" (1 star on yelp!)

so shits fucked

anyway thats not fucking stopping me

things i still have:

the actual edited comic pages. (backed those up early this year)

the flat pngs of the front/back cover, inside covers (although were work in progress but got all the wip sketches too). apparently dumping them in a discord chat still leaves them in good quality. unlike tumblr. annoying that its just the flat pngs, but since they're finished, its all good

the files for stickers and stickersheets. since i ordered samples before, i just emailed the manu and explained and asked if they could send me the files i submitted, so i have those back (again mostly just pngs but very helpful. shout out to zap creatives)

pages 1 and 4 of the redrawn prologue. (for some reason i didnt send those to anyone and im mad)

a working laptop. mercifully, my bro had his old brick of a dell lying in a drawer (now at least 3rd hand but works like a champ. lots of storage in here!). did have to factory reset because he couldnt remember the password, but here we go! (he even installed steam and discord for me which was nice of him!! he also made the profile for the computer "torries are wankers" typo included and i don't know how to change it but its funny so.)

things that are gone:

most of my sanity

pages 2, 3, and 5 of the redrawn prologue. (fuck)

misc not comic related shit (fuck x2)

chapter five pages after 68. has the pngs for 69, 70,73-75 thought but just the extra small versions (tapas has a limit on width) i don't know why those and not the the og files, i think something went wrong with the backup

the folder that i have manually searched for all sac related art to put in the bonus art pages. like thats not going to take more than a day to find again but ffs

my old laptop. rest in pieces. literally, the repair place somehow fucked up my hinges more than they already were, before it was broken and now its just completely snapped. even before that they said it really wasnt worth fixing. it's like, a decade old probably and already had its case replaced once (used to be red) and it's fan but that was easy to fix. i'm going to have to save up for a new one (although bro's old laptop is growing on me. ive named it The Brick)

my fucking font (apparently the site i used to make a handwriting font saves it to the browser not the account?) but whatever i once emailed an older version of the font to someonw or i can just grab something off blambot, its nbd

have to redraw anything half finished, bleh

anyway tldr:

computer: fucked

files: fucked again

IT help: failed

comic delayed?: barely. honestly not that much. i have the important bits. just need to redraw a few pages and do a bunch of double checking literally everything. at most an extra months work? pain in the ass though

other art files: had more backed up than i thought. didn't do much not comic art this year, kinda glad tbh. fucking rip to anything not in my doodles file.

current timeline: shrugs. not sure but before the end of the year for sure. the only outside deadline is needing comics before megacons in jan, so it'll get done before that.

sticker samples: oh those are done and here. need to adjust the colours slightly but knew that going in (printed in their normal colours to see which ones needed adjusting. mostly the darker colours. looking at you, tree in ch2 sheet) and can also get away with making the borders smaller

also treated myself to some very big holo samples (printed as one giant 30cm holo sticker for price reasons) just to see what they'd look like (fun strech goal? little treat for me? both?)

added little hearts for funsies and so i can cut them all out with scissors. kinda have to anyway, my eyes hurt staring at all that holo

like it was not that fucked when i brought it in??? bro

anyway rip broken piece of shit toshiba, my faithful compainion. you had so many problems. and so little storage. but it was mine. going to see if i can like, safely remove the stickers though. still like them. also there's the brick. liking the wide screen.

anyway that's what's stressing me out the past nearly 3 weeks, and i got the "hardrive is fubar" memo a couple days ago, was waiting to update after everything was fixed or confirmed unfixable and its was unfortunatly the latter, but at least i still have most my art shit and a temp laptop.

this concludes the comic progress update and psa to update your backups

Progress update

Edit: laptop broke (hard drive issue), so thing will either be delayed a week or A Lot depending if my shit is recoverable. Back up your files regularly yall

Realised I should probably update yall on how things are going! Things are almost ready, just need to stich the book together together and finish a couple things, then I can order a sample of the book. I don't want to start the kickstarter until I have a book sample in hand that I'm happy with.

Admittedly looking like my original timeline isn't quite going to fit but such is life. its a close enough timeline so im not too annoyed just not in time to advertise it this weekend

to thank yall for your patience with this, here a sneak peek of the stickersheets made because I'm very happy with them and also because I just approved the proofs the manu sent me for those samples:

disclaimer: colours may vary depending on how the samples turn out (converting rgb to cmyk, my beloathed).

[id: two stickersheets, one of characters from chapter 1, and the other chapter two: chapter 1 sheets has: rami (civilian clothes), his whole team, tsunami, inkmaster, swarm, sound flood, and mori. as well as some smaller stickers: a sparkling wave, rami's logo, two diamond shaped sparkles, a small fireball, swarm's butterly, and three hearts with the ace, trans, and rainbow pride flags. chapter 2 sheet has: lewis and sound flood (both in civilian clothes), iris, faete, mindforce, and omen (super costumes). also several smaller stickers: mindforce's eye, a yellow and pink rose, a snowdrop, faete's sword, iris's notebook (with the words "stay safe"), a starry sky with city view, rami's hand holding a rose, and 5 blue pink and white hearts. end id]

also here's the cover (minus the blurb)

[id: image of the cover design, layed flat. aka the front cover is on the right side, back on the left, and the spin inbetween. designed to look like a corkboard with photos pinned to it, and red sring connecting things. on the back there are photos that are from various panels in chapter 1 and 2 (redrawn, specifically faete after transforming, cam readying her forcefield, lewis on the roof, and tsunami riding his wave. the back also contains enamel pins: a trans flag, an ace flag, and mindforce's eye. as well as the corner of a missing persons poster, a business card for "cullen's bowls 'n' bowls", and a blank sheet of notebook paper where the blurb should be. the spine has some starry washi tape with the title written on. the front has a piece of blue paper torn off at the end with the title on it, and stickers of a silver star and rami's logo. below is a large image of rami sitting in the water staring intestly at the viewer, light emerging behind him. around him, hands all strech out towards him, hands belonging to the significant character significant in chapters 1 and 2 of sac. end id]

so specifically what is left (no particular order):

spellchecking

adding page numbers to the bottom

finishing the rest of the not comic pages (aka the thank you note, about the author, deciation and the bit where im going to add names of people who pledged to the kickstarter) 75% done

character bios (admittedly optional i just want to do them)

bonus pages for art and sketches (i have collected all the art and sketches, its just deciding which ones to ue and which ones to save for next time because it makes more sense to put them with the more spoilery chapters 3-5 specific arts)

assembling these and sending a sample off to print

actually starting the kickstarter (once i have decived book sample back and am happy. i am not starting it without knowing 100% that i can fufill it right then and there)

(in the intrest of transperency: while these are all easy and mostly quick (aside from character bios. havent started that one yet), i also have some upcomign events that will have to take priority. that being a convention this weekend, next weekend, and my sisters wedding the weekend after (and the wedding gift, which is custom artwork of my sister and future brother in law. like a wedding painted but not on the day and also digital. so that will take up a bit of time after [another reason i wanted to get this done before then but ah well])

for real though one day i hope to be able to do art stuff full time because i am. so tired of doing a day job

also also there are versions of lewis and rami stickers in super outfits, they'll be seperate stickers

[id: drawings of lewis and rami, same as the stickers in the sheets, just seperate and in different outfits, the drawings have been placed close together, so it looks like thye're holding hands. end id]

you can make them hold hands :)

[the-dream-team]

I’ve just read through your whole collection! Well, over the past few days. I adored it all! And can’t wait to read the next pieces. Do you have any good one shots or short fics that you could recommend while I wait for more?

What in the heck!! I am genuinely so touched by this, anon :') Thank you so much for reading, and boy do I have some suggestions for you!

First off, I'm going to do some shameless self-promo because I have a *secret* tumblr exclusive one shot list here, if you're interested in my contribution to Shirtless JP May or some fics with extra flowery language lol

Alright, now here are some of my favorite one shots, in no particular order:

⁂ Burn Easy by @efkgirldetective

a perfect college!au, Lit major rivals, incredible chemistry, beautifully written, funny and touching and glorious and made my cheeks hurt from grinning - I am obsessed with this fic and have read it too many times to count [NSFW]

⁂ From the Edge by @maraudersftw

THE TENSION - our two favs are stuck in detention. picking one Claudia fic is nearly impossible, but this one really shows off her talent for ramping up that angry jily energy that we love so much

⁂ Until Next Time by @cesays

gorgeous fic following Remus and McGonagall's relationship through the years, literally makes me cry, beautifully written

⁂ Notes by @scriibble-fics

the most quintessential jily fic, follows them passing notes from fifth through seventh year, left my jaw on the floor and my heart exploding from joy

⁂ As the Snow Falls by @mppmaraudergirl

Lily has a Hogsmeade date and James makes the smoothest move I've ever seen, perfect wintery vibes, wonderful jily banter, a pleasure to read

⁂ Seven Minutes in Heaven by @startanewdream

bickering fifth year jily ends up in a broom closet for seven minutes in heaven for a dare, perfect banter, excellent tension, I think about this fic often!

⁂ foreigner's god by @clare-with-no-i

heart-wrenchingly beautiful, somewhat-soulmates!muggle!au that clutched my heart and told me everything was going to be okay, this fic felt like a movie and made me excessively emotional and I still haven't recovered

⁂ Of Breath and Breathing by @corinnesamuels

just an absolute pleasure to read, funny, charming, the most incredible pride and prejudice vibes, Lily works at James's father's company and he finds plenty of excuses to see her, ending with a fantastic fundraising dinner

⁂ Huddle For Warmth by @thejilyship

fem!jily bed sharing fic - the gang goes on a weekend trip where Jamie and Lily end up sharing a room, this fic makes me smile like an idiot and I adore it

⁂ Hazel and Green by @crimson-snitch

counting the times hazel meets green, beautiful, gorgeously written snapshots of Lily and James's lives through the years from the first time they meet to the last time they're together

⁂ Betrayal by @nah-she-didnt

James and Lily are doing rounds as Head Boy and Girl, the Marauders are involved, James is a simp <3 So fun and sweet and I think about this fic often

⁂ The Twenty Third of December by @tumbledfreckles

this is a wonderfully written and touching jily elopment fic - it was one of the first jily wedding fics I'd ever read and has been stuck to my heart ever since, it's so lovely

⁂ and so, they fall by @sunshine-marauders

just the most delicious, flowery language and wonderful imagery, very emotional and raw, another through the years fic in a modern setting and I love it

⁂ Waylaid by @missgryffin

a snowstorm leaves Lily and James stuck at a hotel with *gasp* only one room, a fantastically detailed plot with doctor!james and barrister!lily and there are goats in the kitchen [NSFW]

⁂ this side of the universe (bare & brief) by @emerqldv

childhood friends to lovers, oh gosh this fic tore my heart out and stomped it on the pavement and then put back all the pieces and gave it a big hug - some heavy themes, so check the tags <3

⁂ Wildflowers by @blitheringmcgonagall

gosh this fic owns my heart - so descriptive and darling and touching and then so heartbreaking, makes me want to grow a garden of flowers specifically to pick for Mia

And here are a couple short fics I love:

⁂ Personality Before Punctuality by @theroomofreq

an absolutely delightful fic, bakery!au meets band!au with lots of fun banter, flirting, and James draws and has tattoos - what more can I say :)

⁂ She Didn't by @ashotofogdensoldfirewhiskey

Snape POV watching Lily interact with James through the years, this fic is incredible with super compelling characterizations and some very cathartic moments for Lily, I love this fic with all my heart

⁂ wild things run fast by @thequibblah

magical!au with some of the best worldbuilding I've ever read, amazing jily chemistry, lots of fun quidditch deep-diving, and a bar I desperately wish I could go to [NSFW]

Obviously, this isn't a complete list, but just some of my favorites from the past year! Thanks again for this very kind ask, anon - happy reading!

[2jaeh]

INSUFFERABLE l  KIM DOYOUNG 

GENRE: mature theme, slight smut

WARNINGS: choking, dom themes, cursing

asshole! Doyoung , enemies to ???

Words : 4k 

You’re put in a group project with the most annoying pretentious jerk your law class had to offer. Immediately Doyoung tries to boss you around but you being you, you weren’t taking his shit...soon enough he finds out he can dominate you after all...in a very different way. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Theres no fucking way...no fucking way” you groaned looking at your group project list, eyes narrowing on possibly the worst people within your course year. Slumping in your seat you half smiled at the girl who approached you, one of your fellow members from project hell. 

“Heyyy y/n I think we're in a group together” she grinned and took a seat next to you, flipping her red hair over her shoulder and checked herself out in her mirror covered cellphone. 

Dami was probably the most narcissistic person you'd ever met and being in law, it was definitely a common trait around here. Dami sat up and began tapping you on your shoulder frantically “He’s in our group! Kim Doyoung is in our group” the two of you watched as the dark haired man conversed with the lecturer, casually turning back to look at the table where you guys sat, in annoyance. 

“That guy is such a prick” a guy who slid in the desk behind you, Seungmin said and Dami nodded in agreeance as you all continued to watch him. 

“Ive never really spoken to him before” you cocked your head, “What’s so annoying about him?” 

This time another group member joined in, a quieter girl who normally sat in the back Jisoo, cleared her throat, “He is really bossy and only likes to do things his own way.”

‘Well he is about to meet his worst nightmare’ you thought knowing nothing pissed you off more than someone telling you what to do. 

The muffled conversations around you began to soften as you felt someone stand over you and drop a file on your desk. Looking up, you locked eyes with the one and only Kim Doyoung, dressed in his usual black slacks, black turtleneck and clear rimmed spectacles. He raised his eyebrow at you as if you were supposed to guess what he wanted.

“What ?” you challenged him, folding your arms across your chest and returned an eyebrow raise. 

Doyoung sighed in annoyance, his long slender fingers moved across the file and opened it swiftly, “I want you to do roll call” he said coldly. 

A lump formed in your throat. You felt like you were being talked down to, it was something that infuriated the hell out of you. He wasn't older than you, nor was he getting better grades than you but somehow he had a superiority complex. Dami quickly nudged you and you rolled your eyes, “Seungmin ?”

“Here!” 

“Jisoo ?” you placed a tick as you called out each name. 

“Dami, Jangjun…?” you looked around and noticed that the usually loud comedic relief in your classroom was nowhere to be seen. 

“I think Jangjun is late, i’ll text him” Seungmin sighed and pulled out his phone. You turned back to the roll call sheet and pursed your lips, “Kim Doyoung ?” 

Doyoung just looked down at you, sucking in his bottom lip and raised that damn eyebrow at you again. 

“You need to say ‘here’ do you not know how roll call works ?” you tested him and he rolled his eyes and sighed, “here.” 

You smiled to yourself, completely satisfied with pissing him off when your internal celebration was interrupted by an out of breath Jangjun, who threw his bag on the floor and took a seat on Dami’s desk. Doyoung looked at him disgustingly, and even though you too were obviously annoyed by Jangjun’s tardiness, was that reaction really necessary ?

“Be on time” Doyoung sneered and grabbed the roll call file making his way back to the lecturer. 

“Fuck Kim Doyoung is in this group ?” Jangjun groaned, sharing the sentiments of the entire meeting. You couldnt believe these were the people you had to work with for the week. It's like you could almost feel an outburst waiting to happen, whether it be from you or Kim Doyoung. 

Doyoung returned and took out his phone, not really looking at any of you as he spoke, “we should make a group chat to update each other on work”

The group hastily shared each other's details and Doyoung created the chat and pinned a set of three rules. 

The first was the group was strictly to be used for the project, no small talk or any other messages that weren't related to the project. The second rule was that no one talks about the group content in private chats as it will cause confusion among members. Lastly you weren't allowed to message after 9pm unless it was an emergency, a very serious emergency. 

“Dang is this the military ?” Jangjun snickered as Seungmin and Dami tried their best to hide their laughs. It was typical of people like Dami and Jangjun to not take anything seriously. Their families were well off and they were just studying just for a piece of paper you call a degree. Doyoung couldn't even hide his annoyance, not like he ever did but he seemed particularly pissed off today. 

“Look, just follow the rules and all of you get a free pass and then we never have to speak to each other again” Doyoung spat and made his way to the exit leaving the rest of you in utter shock. 

———

The first two days were utter hell as Doyoung tried to take control of almost every aspect of the project and frankly you didn't even mind because his business proposal was flawless, it was just the way he spoke to all of you that drove you insane. 

“Dami its not fucking rocket science all you need to do is make a clientele spreadsheet with the mock list the professor gave us” Doyoung didnt even lift his head from his laptop, unaware of the impact his words had on her. 

Dami pushed away from the desk and her eyes began to well up and before you knew it she was running out of the library, with Jisoo and Seungmin following quickly out of concern. 

“Nice move asshole” you rolled your eyes, continuing to work on your laptop. 

Doyoung peered up and pushed his spectacles up, “what was that?” 

“I said nice move asshole, do you intend to talk to your future clients like that?” He initiated a different kind of anger from you but you managed to keep your cool. Doyoung shrugged as if what he had said to Dami had not carried any weight and continued typing away. 

A few minutes of the members disappearance quickly turned to an hour and Doyoung’s nonchalance about the whole ordeal really ticked you off to the point of slamming your laptop closed and pushed back from the desk. 

Doyoung quirked his eyebrow at you, “Is something wrong ?” 

“Is something wrong” you mimicked him, “Jangjun hasn't come in today because you sent him on multiple errands, and you just made Dami cry over something so ridiculous”

Doyoung sat back in his seat and rubbed his temples, “They're all freeloaders, you and I are the only ones doing work, why do you care so much about them?” 

“Basic human fucking decency maybe?” you groaned and ran your fingers through your hair, “listen im not like them, i'm not gonna take shit from you”

“Sure”

“Youre a fucking asshole Kim Doyoung.” 

—-

You lay in bed and replayed that scene with Doyoung in your head multiple times. He was so unbothered by your antics nor did he care about anyone's feelings within the group. He was cold, heartless all he thought about was himself. His cold expression was practically engraved in your head, spending all these hours with him was really not your favourite pastime. 

Group 7 gc 7:00pm

KDY: I posted a schedule for tomorrow we will be working in pairs on the highlighted sections. 

You took a look at his document and groaned when you saw your name placed next to his. There was no way, no way in hell you want to work with him one on one. Not caring about breaking his rule, you pulled up a private chat with him and began expressing your concerns. 

y/n  x  KDY : 7:10pm 

Y/N: Hi, there's no fucking way in hell am I working with you. Change It. 

KDY: I said no private chats and no, I'm not changing it. 

Y/N: Wouldn't it be better for us to split and have the others actually DO work for once ?

KDY: I barely gave them room for error, we're going to be the most anyway and besides, I'd prefer someone who can handle...my personality. 

Y/N: …..so you agree..you are an asshole ?

KDY: I give people a reality check that's all..

Y/N: whatever makes you sleep at night...can I atleast choose our work venue because If I were stuck in a library again with you I might kill you. 

KDY: haha..

KDY: sure. 

Y/N: mango drop cafe, 10am. 

KDY: cool, see you then. 

‘Haha’. You had no idea why that text in particular riled you up. Did he find all of this amusing ? Was he making everyone's life a living hell because he enjoyed it ? You stared at his messages and somehow ended up on his profile picture. He was leaning against a railing dressed in all black with his hooded eyes concentrated on the camera lense, Your realization of how attractive he was came from the fact that you stared at the picture for a good 20 minutes. You wondered who took the picture, a girlfriend maybe ? You shook your head. He seemed too uptight to be getting laid. You sighed, closing your phone and awaited yet another day with the insufferable gorgeous man that was Kim Doyoung. 

You arrived quite early at the cafe but of course Doyoung was here before you, already typing away at his laptop, in his usual attire. You greeted the barista and placed an order for a chilled cafe latte before making your way over to him. 

“Hey” you said simply and took a seat opposite him in the booth. Doyoung’s ears perked up at the sound of your voice and made room for your books on the table.

“You're here early” 

“You're already picking a fight with me?” you said casually setting up your workspace. 

Doyoung chuckled under his breath and shook his head, “I just didn't expect you this early y/n it's not that serious.” 

You ignored his words and got straight to work, not in the mood to play his little game. You felt Doyoung look at you a few times. You weren't sure if it were to check if youre doing the right thing or he was just looking at you. 

“Well i'm done with my part” you stretched your arms above your head and yawned. 

“Yeah I'm pretty much done too, Do you want another cup of coffee ?” Doyoung offered pointing to your empty cup. You were taken back by his softer demeanor but quickly nodded, “uh yeah sure.” 

Doyoung returned carrying a tray of two fresh cups of coffee and a slice of cheesecake. Setting everything down he handed you the extra fork and placed the cheesecake in the middle of the table to make it easier to share. 

“H-how much do I owe you ?” You fumbled in your bag for your wallet. 

“It's okay, it's my treat” Doyoung replied, placing a piece of cheesecake in his mouth and slowly licking the fork clean. You gulped as his tongue darted out carefully licking the cream from the metal, not leaving any residue behind. You had no idea what the hell was going on but you felt hot, almost claustrophobic. 

“You're okay?” Doyoung asked innocently, unaware of what he was doing to you. 

“Why are you being...nice?” You questioned, knitting your eyebrows together as the man continued to act as if this was his usual behavior. 

Doyoung pursed his lips and placed the fork on the plate, “You want me to be mean to you?”

“No I just don't get-”

“I apologized to Dami and she told me she only overreacted because the guy she likes, Seungmin was there” Doyoung explained and removed his spectacles, “she was embarrassed to ask anyone for help, I paired them up for today.”

“Wait wha-”

“Also Jangjun works at the campus radio” Doyoung continued, “I had only found out the day we all met, I gave him tasks that will allow him more flexibility, that way he doesn't have to join group sessions often.” 

You blinked, unable to form any words in order to reply to Doyoung. Especially after he chuckled at your speechlessness, knowing you didn't bother getting his side of the story at first. 

“You were right y/n I dont have to be an asshole all the time, I just like to get my work done” He shrugged. You kept eye contact with him but somehow it felt as if he were still toying with you, waiting on your next reaction. He seemed like he played this game often, making sure he always had the upper hand. Doyoung seemed relaxed as he stared at you, taking another scoop of the cheesecake and slowly ran his tongue over his lips after his bite. What the fuck was he doing ? 

“Y/N ?” you heard a familiar voice come from the entrance of the cafe. Your attention diverted from Doyoung to the blonde haired boy who began approaching your table. 

“Jungwoo ? oh my God what are you doing here ?” You stood up and pulled him into a tight hug and pecked his cheek. Doyoung shifted awkwardly in his seat as he watched your exchange with the stranger. 

“I got off early from class about to go to Subway, are you still doing that group project thing?” Jungwoo looked over at your table and half smiled at Doyoung who tried to distract himself with his phone. 

“Uh yeah but i'm all done here I think, wanna hang out ?” you hooked arms with Jungwoo as he nodded enthusiastically. You turned around and scratched the back of your head, 

“So...uh”

“Were all done you can go, I have somewhere to be anyway” Doyoung smiled as you slowly began packing up your things. 

“Alright, see you tomorrow I guess” you bid your goodbye and headed out for lunch with Jungwoo. 

—-

You had just finished up your skincare routine and caught up with a few instagram posts when you noticed Doyoung had followed you. Sitting up in bed you scrolled through his feed curiously. Every post was aesthetically pleasing and he looked absolutely hot in every single one of them. He had to have a girlfriend right ? No guy posts pictures this good without women flooding his DMs. 

There was no harm in doing the same since he was in your class, you decided to return the follow and close the app. Suddenly your phone vibrated with a new message in your chats. 

Y/N X KDY  10:30pm

KDY: hey 

Y/N: aren't you breaking two of your rules right now ?

KDY: haha 

KDY: I didn't realize what time it was…

Y/N: ….anyways..is this about work at least ?

KDY: kinda… you left one of your books at the cafe. I have it with me. 

Y/N: oh… thank you.

KDY: no prob...oh I hope its not a problem I added you on ig

Y/N: no its okay we are friends I guess

KDY: haha I thought I was the insufferable asshole..

Y/N: you are...but not all the time. Look im sorry for saying shitty things about you. 

KDY: its all good. 

KDY: …….

Y/N: ..whats up?

You twirled your fingers as you watched the three dots from Doyoung pop up and disappear over and over again. What was taking him so long ? 

KDY: that guy….that you met at the cafe..is he your boyfriend ?

Y/N: Jungwoo ? no way we've been friends since high school.

KDY: oh..

Y/N:....why would you even ask that ?

KDY: curious. 

Y/N: curious about who I'm dating ??

KDY: A little. 

You frowned at your phone and noticed Doyoung had changed his profile picture to a selfie. The picture was..something alright. You bit down on your lip as you enlarged the picture, which showed a wet haired Doyoung with his head resting in his palm and his long index finger was placed between his plump lips. 

“Fuck y/n get yourself together” you gave yourself a pep talk before opening his chat back up again. 

Y/N X KDY  10.54PM

Y/N: fine if you can ask a question can I ask one..

KDY: go ahead 

Y/N: who do you keep thirst trapping for ?

KDY: ….haha thirst trapping ? 

Y/N: Yeah who do keep posting these hot pics for huh

KDY: …..

KDY: You think i'm hot ?

Fuck. Why did you word it that way. You groaned immediately regretting sending that message but something in you was so curious about him you decided to just risk it, what was the worst that could happen ? 

Y/N: well yeah, I mean I'm sure everyone thinks you're attractive, you seem to know it too. 

KDY: wow. 

KDY: I think you're hot too. 

What the hell was going on. You felt your face heat up and you placed your pillow in between your legs as you turned on your side. 

KDY: I was almost disappointed when I thought Jungwoo was your boyfriend, he's way too passive. 

Y/N: ...and what makes you think you know what kind of man I need ?

KDY: hmmm

KDY: first of, with that fucking attitude of yours..A dominate one. 

You swallowed hard as you felt a tingle in your stomach, squeezing your thighs together on the pillow to create more friction. 

Y/N: I could say the same for you. 

KDY: You may think youre dominate in many aspects...but when it comes to fucking..im the one in charge. 

God you hated how hot that sounded. He had you in the palm of his hand through text. You were a mess and he wasn't even the room to fuel it. You wanted him so fucking bad it was insane. 

Y/N: running your mouth doesn't equate to doing it you know...

KDY:.....

KDY: then would you like me to show you ?

Everything happened so damn fast. One minute you two were texting the next minute you were sharing your apartment location and Doyoung was on his way over. You scrambled to put on sexier underwear and do your hair, still in shock by the fact that Doyoung was on his way over to bang you. 

You jumped when you heard the doorbell and realized it was him. Opening the door you were greeted to a very different look of Doyoung. His hair was messy and reached his eyes. Instead of his usual black academic attire he wore a loose white vest that showed off his toned chest and arms, along with a pair of grey sweatpants. 

“Hi” Doyoung smirked, his eyes were dark as he scanned your figure. 

“Hi” you responded, leaning against the wall in the hallway and looked up at him. Doyoung slowly approached you, like a lion circling its prey. His slender fingers danced lightly along your body, drawing a line from your waist until he found your throat and wrapped his cold fingers around it. He bit down on his lip as he studied how perfectly his hand looked around it and squeezed gently, smirking after hearing a soft moan emit from you. 

“I want you to do as I say, any back chat from you will get you punished you got that ?” he brought his lips down to your neck and exhaled. 

You nodded in response but that wasn't good enough for Doyoung. You felt his squeeze on your throat once more and he used his hips to pin you against the wall, “use your words” he gritted his teeth. 

“Yes sir” you replied obediently, and felt him smile against your neck. 

“Good girl, and if i'm too rough let me know so I can stop okay ?” he replied, his voice changed and it was much sweeter and genuine than before. He placed a soft kiss on your cheek when you nodded and led you to the bed. 

Doyoung lay you on the bed, already stripping off his shirt and ordered you to undress yourself and rid him off his sweatpants. You bit down on your lip taking notice of how aroused he was when you palmed his member. 

Doyoung watched you through hooded eyes as you discarded his sweatpants and boxers. He softly patted your head and grabbed a tuft of your hair in order to make you look up at him. 

“Spit” he ordered, and held out his hand and you did as you were told. You watched as he lathered himself with it, moaning as he stroked himself. He was so damn sexy, biting down on lip and slowly pleased himself as you watched. 

“Do you want this inside you sweetheart ?” he cooed and placed a finger under chin. 

You nodded quickly, “Yes please” 

“What do you want me to do baby ?” He purred and hovered over you as you lay on the bed, breathing heavily as his fingers moved against your warm skin, tracing your curves, ghosting over your heat and returning back to your lips to insert a digit inside. 

Doyoung watched diligently as you sucked on his finger like the good girl he knew you were. He finally pulled his finger out and with one swift movement entered with his member before you could even respond to his question. You moaned as he quickly slammed his hips into yours, wasting no time in gaining a rhythm as you marked his back with scratch marks feeling as though you were on a high. 

Doyoung fucked you like a pro, wasting no time to switch positions and had you on all fours, slapping your ass before slamming into you again, that pretentious smirk forming on his face as he heard your whimpers asking him for more. 

“Are you ready to cum sweetheart ?” he asked, pulling you up as his strokes became slower and tugged on your ear with his teeth. 

“Y-yes yes i'm ready” you panted.

“What's the magic word ?” he growled as he grabbed your throat and slowed down his pace as you were nearing your climax. 

“Fuck youre so annoying PLEASE, please let me cum Doyoung fuck” 

Doyoung chuckled and picked up his pace until you finally climaxed and he followed shortly after, collapsing in the bed next to you. 

“You have such an attitude God” he rolled his eyes playfully, bringing the blanket over your bodies and grinned when you moved in to cuddle him. 

“I guess you will have to fix that some time” you yawned and wrapped your arm around his waist, “but I have to admit, maybe I do enjoy the insufferable Kim Doyoung bossing me around once in a while.”

[trash-iest]

1,4,12,15,23,35,38,40,4650,55,60,75,78,83,86. You don't have to answer these. It's alot I know and I'm sorry. Just.. curious 😅

1. What do you crave in a psychological sense? Intimacy, passion, purpose, belonging, social interaction, etc.?

Passion & purpose (im sorry it's impossible to choose one)

4. Who's the most important person in your life right now? Why?

Myself because i need to consistently work towards my 5 year goal. Its the bare minimum but feels a lot so im hoping ill adjust and become a better version of myself if not the best.

12. What's your most controversial opinion? Would you state it publicly? What's the most controversial opinion that you would publicly support, if it's different?

The moon is made of cheese and pluto is a planet. Oh i would shamelessly state that publicly and stick out my tongue if the other person tries to educate me on the matter (im sorry if you were looking for serious answers, we dont do that over texting)

15. Is there a song, book, movie, or other piece of media that has drastically altered your life? What was it, are there multiple?

This is stupid (but youre allowed to laugh at how basic i am) Book: 13 reasons why. So just a bit of context: Up until grade 7 i was an extremely insensitive kid like id mindlessly laugh at people in school, made fun of their insecurities and was completely clueless about feelings/emotions. It was just considered banter since i was the class clown but the way id gang up with my group and tease other kids was wrong, yet no one corrected this behaviour (tbf i didnt grow up with cousins and they rarely ever visited so there was no sense of realisation) Now end of grade 7 i came across this book and I casually started reading it like any other book and lets just say i didnt expect the traumatising details. It was nothing like the stuff i used to read and it ended up giving me the biggest reality check. I started analysing my behaviour and realised how i might be an actual bully and i couldnt fathom the thought of someone resorting to self harm or suicide because of my silly jokes so i stopped and apologised to those few people. Lets just say this book was the first step towards developing eq and becoming a better person.

23. What would you never admit to in real life?

A LOT of things. I cant really think of anything atm but i mostly just stay quiet when people say questionable shit because i dont have the energy to explain my pov and idc about their opinion lol.

35. What's wrong with you? Physically, mentally, whatever comes to mind. What's right about you? What are your best and worst traits?

Physically— i have a HUGE nose, kinda short, dont have grey/hazel eyes, i wear specs (doesnt look cute), my nails chip every time i grow them out and theyre not a natural pretty shape. Also, i dont feel pretty like an actual girl; im not elegant or any of that and neither am i a hot tomboy. Im just eh. (Edit: i just remembered the dark circles and i look dead without lipstick/lip taint lol)

Mentally— anxious sometimes but thankfully no more anxiety attacks. I feel like my major trust and commitment issues come under personality disorders but ill just list them here. My therapist said im stubborn and very rigid (and I believe him over anyone else) and quite frankly i feel incapable of forming a real human connection. To sum up my worst traits: Im mostly horrible at reciprocation, im always emotionally unavailable, im selfish, hella lazy, careless, stupid. Im definitely forgetting something so whenever I remember it ill add it here lol. My best traits: im very understanding when it comes to the other person needing their space. Im a good listener because i rarely have good advice or solutions lol. Im calm and rarely ever lose my temper which doesnt really last long. I believe in communication instead of letting misunderstandings grow until they explode (im guessing thats good because it has strengthened my friendships)

38. Who do you miss, if anyone?

My 15 year old self. She was so happy, loved the way she looked and was so mentally stable (i might be considered a narcissist at this point)

40. Would you sacrifice your life for a stranger? An acquaintance? A loved one?

I WILL SACRIFICE MY OWN LIFE FOR PAKISTAN (its hard for me to be consistently serious, bear with it pls)

46. Do you have a "right person, wrong time"?

Yeah feels like it

50. What qualities do you find charming?

Whatever prince charming brings to the table (its so hard to be serious about this im sorry it reminds me of middle school)

55. What reminds you of your childhood?

Certain songs, snacks and a few places.

60. What are you afraid of? What are your worst fears? Are you afraid of any of the following - the dark, fire, heights, being alone, people, spiders, snakes, blood, drowning, or death?

Betrayal/abandonment from someone i truly love, getting attached to the wrong person, staying unemployed after graduation, childbirth and raising my own kids, emotionally depending on someone and lizards 💀 Of the following: people, only the big spiders like tarantulas etc, snakes, drowning only because i dont know how to swim and its a very painful death from what ive heard so no thank you.

75. What is your favourite fairytale?

Definitely hansel and gretel because of that edible cottage (still such a dream) but I recently read the story of the youth who went forth to learn what fear was (grimm's fairytales) and its my favourite one as an adult now.

78. Have you ever written a poem or song about someone? Or had someone write one about you? Do you hope to have either of those experiences in the future?

Nope i havent. My best friend has written poetry for me, about 3 times. It was super cute but it constantly made me feel indebted because ive never made a grand gesture like that and what she wrote was proper poetry and she appreciates me so much. Ive only ever written her letters with my ugly handwriting yet she treasures them. Hypothetically if i do find someone in the future like that idk how id react but ill definitely be thinking about ways to reciprocate.

83. What's your type? Otherwise, do you think you attract a certain sort of person?

An aromantic asexual or at least someone whose love language isnt physical touch and theyre naturally not a cheezy person but i feel like im asking for a lot here since most people associate romance with their partners and what i say is considered abnormal or bs so lets not go there. Ill need to be attractive to attract a certain type of people or anyone for that matter lol.

86. What could you talk about for hours?

Honestly my chattiness depends on my mood or the type of day im having instead of a particular topic.

[blxetsi]

Hey u! If you write for Erwin could I maybe request like some fluffy headcanons where they just take care of each other after an expedition? Thank you so much <3

hey you ! ty for requesting this was fun to make 🤩🤚

caring for erwin smith after an expedition headcanons (canonverse)

lowercase intended !

warnings: mentions of death, titans, gore maybe idk ???, female reader kinda ??? idk i didnt use gendered pronouns u decide

enjoy friends 😎🙏,

the ride back was hard.

- everyone always says "it was supposed to be an easy mission !" but this time it really was. which makes it so hard to understand why just so many of your comrades had to die

- you rode back near a wagon filled with bodies, the most abled bodied people were going to be tasked with getting their bodies identified and sorted, then ready to be buried.

- after that, whichever squad leader had those soldiers would have to write to the families, to send a formal apology as well as details of the situation.

- you knew that no matter what, even if there was just one death or a thousand, erwin would have a hefty stack of paperwork to go through

- from writing his own report to looking over others, going through soldier files to order out the deceased ones, and signing any letters that come his way from squad leaders.

- you had your own job to do. although it wasn't identifying bodies, you had to go back to the infirmary with the injured, and work with the doctors and nurses there to try and save the injured.

- your head was filled with names and tallies, who got hit where, how long has this person been passed out, when did we set their dislocated shoulder, they suffered a nasty head laceration, did i ever check their pupils ?

- you and erwin both had a lot on your plates, and you knew you wouldn't be able to see him until hours later, maybe not even until the next day

- and as much as you wanted to go see your fiance, who would be silently beating himself up over this, you couldn't, your responsabilities always came first, just as his did

- so after hours upon hours in the medical hallway, with nurses and doctors flowing from one room from the next, soldiers coming in with gurneys to transport soldiers that had passed, their names already being added to a list of fallen soldiers.

- it was about one in the morning when things finally started to die down. nurses that were tasked with the night shift had been helping greatly, as others were ready to pass out. you'd been employed by the scouts for years, first as a medic, then after almost dying from an abnormal on a mission, retired from the field to become one of the on call doctors at the base, before coming out of your haitus to rejoin your squad. since you had so much experience on and off the field, you could keep going. you were tired, but your body just couldn't stop moving.

- you decides itd be good for a shower, and saw lots of soldiers there with you.

- it was quiet, which wasnt normal but not surprising considering the circumstances. most times in the showers girls would be helping each other braid their hair, or sharing soaps and lotions, chatting about whatever happened that day on base. the boys' showers were usually even more rowdy, youd almost be able to hear them next door.

- you were surprised by just how much blood and dirt came off of you. you didnt feel like you treated or assisted a lot of people today, but maybe thats just because this whole days been a blur. because the showers had been used so frequently you had ice cold water streaming down your body, after soaping down your body, getting into every nook and cranny and line you could, you shut off the water, before wrappy your body in a towel and going to one of the sinks there

- you brushed your hair (which took some time) and brushed your teeth before making your way back to the dorms, where you found some pajamas to change into.

- your roommates were all asleep, two snoring, one not. you knew they were absolutely exhausted, and silently hoped that theyd get to sleep in the next day

- you made your way to the lounge room, finding some stragglers stationed around. two sitting on a couch, one sitting on the ground in front of them, someone at a near by table with a chess board in front of them, and another had come out of the kitchen with some tea.

- you knew walking around was useless, youd just disturb others and could possibly get yourself in trouble. but you couldnt help it. it was just past two in the morning now, and you knew even if you only got an hour of sleep, you were sure to wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare.

- so where do you go ? erwins.

- getting there was easy, you knew this route like the back of your hand. from coming in tk hand him reports from the medical hallway, to sneaking in after curfew for goodnight kisses, making your way to his office was like second nature to you.

- you didnt bother knocking, and he didnt bother looking up at you. he knew only you would dare to interrupt the commander after curfew without identifying yourself, and although he had asked you to knock you absolutely could not.

- you slowly stepped in, your bare feet padding against the squeaking floorboards. you sat in a chair in front of his desk, and simply watched him while he wrote.

- he wasnt in his uniform now, but in pajamas like yourself, you were glad he found the time to shower and change, his hair drying and frizzing up the tiniest bit.

- it was quiet, the only noises you could hear were the scribbling of his pen against paper, and the soft whistling of his nose as he breathed, time blended together until finally he stopped, and simply looked at you.

"my dear, why don't you sleep ?" he asked.

you gave him a soft smile, not noticing until now just how droopy your eyes had become. "because then i wouldn't be able to stare at you, my love." your voice was nothing but a whisper, and with the way the wind howled erratically outside, like it was mourning the fallen with you and everyone else, erwin wouldve missed it.

"you flatter me too much." he replied, his deep voice breaking off at the end.

you two stared like that for a while, just remembering every detail of the other person. the candle light was getting dimmer as the wax kept melting, but the soft glow it gave made all your beauty stand out to erwin. although it was a depressing moment, he still found time to admire just how perfect you looked. he could've lost you today, and he knows that. he stopped vocalizing things like that long ago, as your answer would always be "well you didnt, and you never will !" he didn't need you jinxing yourself like that.

you observed the bags under his eyes while he observed your own. erwin felt worried that youd be all sore and achy, from running around performing medical miracles on his soldiers from afternoon into night. you however, were worried if his shoulders and back were sore, from sitting in the same position, hunched over for hours on end. you knew how easily his muscles tightened, you didn't want him to be in any discomfort, especially after today.

you were the first to look away, staring at one of the candles on his table, watching a race between two wax droplets, trying to see which one would hit the metal candle holder first.

"-my dear ?"

you turned your head back towards your man, giving him a hum of acknowledgment.

"i asked if you were ready to go to sleep, y/n." he repeated. his thick brows furrowed a bit, showcasing some wrinkles he had on his forehead. his eyes showed visible worry in them for you, and you couldn't help but return them.

"will you sleep with me please ?" you whispered. the day had caught up with you, and now the only thing you wanted was for erwin to be safe in your arms as he finally let go of this awful day.

erwin looked down at his work, weighing the actions of his possible decision. you were so sure he would decline, while sending you off back to your dorm to ensure you didn't bother him. you could feel your eyes fill with tears, erwins being becoming blurry. you couldnt conceal the whimper that left your mouth, clamping your hand against it to muffle anything else. your head turned down into your lap, while you felt hot tears hit your pajama bottoms.

erwin wordlessy got up, before moving to your side. you tried to protest but you couldn't take your hand away from your lips, afraid youd let out a sob.

the blond put one arm under your knees, while the other took your right hand and slung it around his shoulders. he let out a quiet grunt as he picked you up, before nuzzling your head into his neck as he made his way into his bedroom, which was connected to his office.

it was a small room, but there was a big bed that could probably fit quite a few people. he slowly sat you down on the edge, which was his side of the bed. pulling away he got on his knees in front of you, rubbing up and down your arms.

you gripped his shoulders as you gasped for breath. "you- you can't leave me. please erwin i- you have to stay." you sobbed, trying to pull him closer by his shirt.

he shushed you quietly, urging you to lay back as he pulled the covers away, he tucked you in silently, wiping your cheeks and forehead before joining you on the other side.

his pillow smelled like him, and you turned your head to breathe it in better, needing erwin and his comfort.

pulling the covers up around his waist, he leaned into your touch, your arms coming out to wrap around his shoulders. you pulled him into your chest, and you rubbed his back with one hand while the other cradled his head to your beating heart.

he didn't offer you any words of comfort, erwin knew that it wasnt what you needed right now. you didn't need reassurance, or promises that could be broken, you just needed him. and he would fully give himself over to you if he could.

your cries had died down until all you did was sniffle and let out the occasional shaky breath, and erwin found it a bit odd that instead of needing to be nurtured, youd need to nuture to feel better. instead of feeling protected, you needed to feel like you could protect to calm yourself.

slowly but surely you recovered, until all that was left were puffy eyes and soft sighs.

erwin tried to push himself up, to face you, but you pushed him back into your chest, making him chuckle slightly. you continued to rub his back, feeling his shoulder blades and muscle, and around his neck too. you kept your nose in his hair, no doubt getting snot in it but you knew right now erwin didnt care. you breathed in his shampoo while carding your hand through the short strands.

the commander would be lying if he said this didn't help him too. just a bit of alone time with the one he loved, being held the way a parent would cradle their child. he truly felt at peace in these moments with you, he felt warm and safe in your embrace. he wasn't a leader anymore, he wasn't a soldier. right now he was just a man, being held in the arms of the person he absolutely adored. and that was enough for him. because you would always be enough for him.

he whispered out your name, only hearing a soft hum in reply. he glanced up at you to see your head against the pillow, your eyes closed. he smiled before kissing your collarbone.

"i love you, my dear."

thats it !!! i hope you enjoyed !! love u all, requests r open ❤️❤️❤️

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Potions and Princes (Pt.1)

-------------------------

Virgil never really had much talent, at least not where his family was concerned. His brother Logan was the brightest witch their teachers had ever met, his mother the most beautiful, and his father the most powerful.

And then there was Virgil, utterly useless and utterly pathetic at any and all magical endeavours.

He wasnt even sure he should still be at the boarding school for witches in training, he'd barely passed his entrance exams, Logan always told him that he was better at magic than he gave himself credit for, but Virgil never really believed him.

"I'm telling you Lo, they're gonna kick me out any day now! You graduate next year and then there's nothing stopping them from doing it!" Virgil said, spread out across the couch in the common room.

"Virgil, they're not going to kick you out just because I'm not here, you've been performing magic perfectly well for a sixteen year old witch, and you've still got five years left to improve," Logan said, twirling his wand in his hand and watching the blue and pink waves emanating from the end of it.

"That's easy for you to say, you've never had a problem getting a spell to work or a potion to mix correctly," Virgil said, pouting slightly.

"I think you're perfectly attentive with potions," Logan replied, spinning his wand in a quick circle to cancel the spell and putting it back in his pocket.

"Clearly you've never actually watched me make a potion," Virgil replied, grimacing.

"Well, you have some of the highest potion marks you can get, so clearly you must be doing something right," Logan continued.

Virgil paused for a few seconds, fidgeting with the hem of his black skirt.

"Can we talk about something else. . ." Virgil said finally.

"Of course," Logan said, sitting down next to Virgil and moving so Virgil's head was resting in his lap.

"How'd that meeting about your top surgery spell go?" Virgil said.

"Swimmingly," Logan said, a grin spreading across his face.

Logan and Virgil were similar in a lot of ways, but they were also very different. Whereas Virgil could go ages without a hair cut, wear skirts, and didnt mind not having his binder on, Logan wouldnt be caught dead dressed femininly, Virgil liked the darker aspects of magic, those made Logan shudder just to read about, Virgil laughed at just about anything, it took a very well times joke to get Logan to laugh, Logan had a loving boyfriend named Emile, and Virgil was so undesirable that not even a toadstool would've chanced him.

"That's good, how do you feel?" Virgil asked.

"Its a little sore, but it wouldve been like that without magic to," Logan answered

"I'm just glad your happy," Virgil said, smiling.

"Have you written to mom and dad yet?" Logan said.

"No. . ." Virgil replied. It wasnt that he didnt like exchanging letters with his parents, but they always wanted to talk about his classes and his marks, never how he was feeling or if he'd made any friends.

Granted, Virgil hadn't made any friends, he was just as lonely now as he had been when he started attending the school at age six.

But none of that was helped by his status in relation to the most famous family of witches in the millennia.

Roman Prince-Duke and Remus Duke-Prince were the most coveted pair of twins from the moment they made their availability known. Within the year Remus had found himself smitten with one Patton Boleyn, but Roman was still very much available.

Not that it mattered since he practically hated Virgil's guts. He'd glare at Virgil when he walked into the room, whisper about him when Virgil thought he wasnt listening, and would absolutely lose his mind if they had to work together.

So Virgil had given up hope of being noticed positively by the handsome prince, because Roman had made it very clear where he stood on Virgil's existence.

Virgil awoke the next morning twice as exhausted as he'd been when he went to bed. This was of course, perfectly normal form him, he never got sleep, that was just how he worked.

He checked the schedule on the side of his bed and felt his heart sink as he read his first class of the day, dueling.

Virgil was a complete disaster when it came to duels, he couldnt focus enough to get any spells to work right and he was always so busy thinking about spells that he never remembered to block them.

The sinking feeling in his chest was only amplified once he read over his partner for today's duel. Roman, of course it had to be Roman. Roman with the smile that could stun better than any form of magic, Roman with the brain that could come up with a new spell within seconds, Roman that could block any attack with a flick of his wrist.

Virgil began mentally preparing his will as he walked inside the building.

"I cant duel with him! Are you sure theres no way to change the pairings?" Virgil froze as he overheard Roman's voice talking to the instructor, he sounded scared, maybe even upset. But Virgil just assumed he was imagining things and moved on.

He barely paid attention to the other duels until his name was called, only then did he finally look up to the stage.

He felt numb as he stepped up to the center, and even worse as he watched Roman approach from the other end. He wanted to curl up in his overly-large sweater and disappear into the abyss.

"On my count, the duel will begin in five!" Virgil's grip on his wand tightened.

"Four!" He watched as Roman dug his feet into the wood.

"Three!" Dear gods why was he smirking? Did he have to be smirking?

"Two!" Virgil tried to keep himself focussed.

"One!" A flash of light, sparks, and then it all disappeared.

And in the center of the smoke, was a small, red and white, frog.

Oh gods oh gods oh gods nonononono please tell me someone else did that nonononono this cant be happening- Virgil's mind was racing as he watched the teachers rush over to what had been Roman mere seconds ago. He wanted to run, he heard yelling, angry yelling, he felt things being thrown, heard people getting their wands out.

The teachers made quick work of getting Roman back to normal, and Virgil had rushed out of the room almost as soon as he saw the shock on Roman's face.

"Virgil!-" Roman called after him, but Virgil was already rushing across the grounds back to his dorm, he didnt need to hear anything else about what a horrible witch he was, and he certainly didnt want to risk getting cursed.

He was so busy rushing off in fact, that he barely noticed the figure watching from the tallest tower of the school.

----------------------------------------------

Tag list:

@meowthefluffy

@willowaudreykeyes

@thefivecalls

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@melodiread

@frog-candy-bee

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@teamplutoforlife

@pricklyfish777

[gizkasparadise]

cdrama rec/review: go ahead

KDRAMA AND CDRAMA MASTER LIST OF REVIEWS

Series: go ahead Episodes: 40 Genres: family, healing/melodrama, slice of life, romance Spoilers in the Rec: for the first 20% ish/set-up If You Like, You’ll Like: reply 1988, le coup de foudre, find yourself (same production company/main male actor), rain or shine/just between lovers, found family stories, meet again stories

Rank: 10/10** (see Drawbacks section)

PREMISE

widower hai chao and his 6 year old daughter jian jian live happily above his noodle restaurant despite the recent, tragic death of his wife. one day, dysfunction junction a married couple (he ping, a police officer, and chen ting, a real piece of work) move into the same building with their 7 year old son, ling xiao. immediately, jian jian attaches herself to ling xiao, who is unexpectedly grim for a small child. 

because ling xiao’s family is less-than-healthily grieving the loss of their youngest child, ling xiao’s sister who died in a terrible accident. The Apartment of Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms eventually implodes, ending with chen ting abandoning her husband and son. he ping, suddenly a single father, and hai chao come to a friendly partnership that is clearly alluding to gay marriage where they co-raise both of their kids--hai chao as the primary caregiver, and he ping supporting them financially through his job as a policeman.

meanwhile, the neighborhood busybody is dead-set on getting hia chao remarried. eventually she introduces him to a divorced single mother, he mei, and her son zi qiu, who is ling xiao’s age. they sort of start to date, but it culminates in he mei skipping town and leaving zi qiu behind. hai chao, man with a heart of gold, informally adopts him and zi qiu becomes jianjian’s foster brother.

from there, the trio grow up happily and become inseparable. but once zi qiu and ling xiao graduate high school, the bullshit parade their respective childhood skeletons reappear in their lives. circumstances lead to the boys moving overseas, leaving jianjian and their fathers behind. 

they reunite after 9 years, when the boys return to a home where they hope to pick things back up from where they left off. things are more complicated than that, as jianjian finds herself in a new life and surrounded by new people. 

MAIN CHARACTERS

li jian jian

hai chao’s daughter and the only girl in the family. she attended the required short-hair-low-grades training program required of all cdrama youth female leads. super positive and outgoing, as well as the youngest of the three pseudo-siblings, jian jian grows up spoiled and over protected by her father and brothers, and as a result is completely devastated once her family falls apart. it’s so sad.

after the time skip, she’s an on-the-verge successful artist who makes woodcarvings, and exudes big art bro energy. inhales sugar like it’s nobody’s business. she inherited her father’s disease called caring too much, and it’s incurable!! 

ling xiao

the eldest brother and resident fun police. ling xiao comes from a seriously toxic home that finally seems to improve once his mother leaves. but then she comes back. fucking great. introverted to the point of being withdrawn to anyone but his chosen family, ling xiao’s had to carry a lot of emotional weight that takes a larger and larger toll on him as the series progresses. please get this boy some therapy. 

becomes a dentist because jian jian needs one. wears a lot of monochromatic outfits with low necklines because heavy angst but make it fashion. has been in love with jian jian since high school and is still carrying that torch 9 years later.

he zi qiu  

the middle child who grows up in hai chao and jian jian’s home, and is her foster brother in all but paperwork. hotheaded, zi qiu and jian jian basically share two brain cells that ling xiao routinely takes from them for safekeeping. he spoils jian jian, sneaking her snacks and junk food and wants to become a pastry chef so he can open a sweet shop for her!!

my favorite character. just wants to be wanted 8( him and hai chao’s relationship is my favorite dynamic in the series. will sob while driving a pink moped. is too proud to beg

li hai chao (left) and ling he ping (right)

the greatest (hai chao) and okayest (he ping) dads in the world! noodle dad/hai chao has never done anything wrong in his life, ever, and we know this and we love him. he ping isn’t a bad person, but demonstrates pretty classic absentee parenting/isn’t as emotionally present in his son’s life as hai chao. hai chao is the heart of the family, and would do anything for his kids 8( 

SOME SUPPORT CHARACTERS 

tang can (left) and qiu ming yue (right)

jian jian’s #GirlGang and roommates. they, like literally everyone in this drama, have some severe mom issue hang-ups. tang can (left) is a former child actress who is struggling with her lack of success as an adult and gives well-meaning but absolutely terrible advice on the regular. 

ming yue (right) is jian jian’s best friend since childhood and as an adult is trying to break free from her mother’s controlling nature--she’s also had a thing for ling xiao for the last 9 years. raises fish for symbolism purposes.

chen ting

ling xiao’s mom and certified garbage human. unable to cope with the death of her daughter that was her fault lbr, she abandons her family and disappears for ten years. she forces her way back into ling xiao’s life when he turns 18, where it’s revealed that she’s remarried and ling xiao has a younger half-sister chengzi (”little orange”). shit goes down, and soon ling xiao is forced to move back to singapore to serve as primary caregiver to both his mother who abandoned him and the half sister he barely knows. 

emotionally abusive and basically hits every single square on the toxic parent bingo card. i just. i just hate her. even typing this out is making me mad.

he mei

zi qiu’s mother. after a few dates with hai chao, she ends up ditching her kid and disappearing for unknown reasons. is a slightly better parent than chen ting but that’s like saying some poison kills you slower. the show tries to bring us around on her but it didnt work for me. 

SOME OTHERS

zhuang bei, zi qiu’s best friend growing up who i would like a lot less if he wasn’t played by the same actor who played my beloved dachuan

zheng shuran, jian jian’s first boyfriend and fellow artist who’s got a weird thing for women’s waists and pretentious artists’ statements

du juan, jian jian’s friend who co-owns their woodworking studio. has absolute trash taste in men

chengzi, ling xiao’s half-sister who can be a brat but dear god does she need to be protected/saved 

**DRAWBACKS

so this is a weird one for me. what i didn’t like i really didn’t like, but what i loved i really loved. ultimately, the factors/uniqueness of this show and the loveability of the main characters outweighed the negatives and it’s one of my favorite dramas.

THAT SAID. i got some #thoughts on this one. 

first, there are literally no positive mother figures in this show. not a damn one. they are all negligent or controlling at best or down right abusive at worst. no woman over 30 is portrayed positively and that’s a big No from me. 

the last 10 eps have some pacing issues and focus on the wrong people. spending the remaining episodes focused on one of the most universally hated characters vs. the main family was a bad move 

the show tried to redeem or make us sympathize with characters that were, to me, completely irredeemable. one case is worse than the other, but both of them were terrible people that deserved to be cut out of the main family’s lives.  

REASONS TO WATCH

the main family. the characters are so wonderful and nuanced, and their dynamics with one another were amazing. you’ll fall in love with hai chao aka noodle dad and the trio. they go through so many trials but they still stick together and it’s ultimately a healing drama and i loved it very much.

the central romance was less in focus, but the pining is enough to make jane austen emerge from the grave. i loved the leads together, and while LOL ling xiao’s attachment to jian jian was not always healthy, they supported each other and it made me smile. i love me a tortured pining dude.

#Acting. everyone played their parts to perfection. the child actors in particular were so well-cast (esp baby zi qiu)

the soundtrack lmao. you watch the opening credits and know you’ll need to buckle up

idk it’s a very unique show, and i haven’t seen one like it. reply 1988 comes close, but it doesn’t tackle the same issues and it was all just very real and earnest. 

Final Thoughts.

GOODNIGHT, GOOODBYYYYYE MY CHILDREEEEEEEN

[cvastals]

look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B

* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )

background.

middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D

they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved

the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh

gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament

(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder

(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad

(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw)  wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping

the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving

(internalized homophobia tw)  things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly

he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!

details.

is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic

u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG

if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times

n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes

awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl

didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things

can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms

loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after

going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field

doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar

connections.

ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms

ppl he went to school w? :D

some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………

ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part

a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)

some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG

a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects

awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral

current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH

Anything u Desire

[winterscaptain]

i loved hotch’s top 3 parent moments, but what are his top 3 most defeated moments & how do the kids/mom help him cope/feel better

ooooh these got REALLY long so they’re going under a cut (they’re basically three drabbles so i included the ajf tag list (whoops))

a joyful future masterlist

1.

aaron comes back home from very long day full of infuriating people and politics, and isaac has left everything all over the living room floor. he trips on something (probably shoes) and breaks. he doesn’t get mean or anything, but his bark is definitely harsher than he intended. isaac is so so upset, and he holes himself up in his room. aaron feels awful, instantly. mom runs interference, and spends some time in the dark with isaac so he can calm down with minimal stimulus. when isaac is ready, mom goes back into the living room and finds aaron distraught, his head in his hands. 

“i promised myself i wasn’t going to become my father.” 

mom just wraps around him like a koala and is like “you’re not. you just had a bad day. for god’s sake, jack snapped at me over something ridiculous yesterday, and isaac and soph got into a knock-down drag-out fight last week about a puzzle while caro was simultaneously throwing a tantrum about fruit snacks. we’re all allowed to have bad days, and you can make it right. he’s a smart kid - just tell him what’s going on and remind him that you’re not upset with him and that you love him.” 

aaron goes to isaac’s door, knocks, and waits for isaac to tell him he can come in. aaron sits at the foot of his bed, waiting. they sit in the dark for a long time, and isaac eventually crawls into aaron’s lap. his dad tells him everything that happened in his day at work, and rounded it all off with “it was wrong of me to get upset with you, little man. it wasn’t your fault, and i love you more than anything, all the time, no matter what. i’m so sorry, and i hope you can forgive me.”

“i can.” 

mom walks in later to find them asleep, aaron propped against the headboard with his ankles crossed, isaac sprawled across his chest. 

2.

when the girls are older, maybe 14 or 15, he puts his foot down about an out-of-town concert with a friend and their older brother. the concert is a few days away, and sophia mentions it over dinner. 

without really meaning to, he goes into full drill sergeant mode and gets a little too specific about all the things that could go wrong. it was very clear in the moment that the topic was not up for discussion, that he was not under any circumstances going to allow the girls to go to a concert a couple hours away with only a nineteen year-old college sophomore as a supervisor. 

it turns into one of those “i hate you you never let me do anything” teenager moments. sophia gets up and shuts herself in the garage with the treadmill and runs until she’s tired, showering and going straight into her room without a word or glance in his direction. caroline really quietly sets her napkin on the table, and leaves out the back door, headed for the porch swing that faces the back of the property. she, too, goes to bed without saying goodnight. 

mom doesn’t say anything in the moment, and they finish dinner with the boys (isaac, now 16 or 17, and elliot, now 10 or 11) and get them ready to wind down for the night. when they settle into bed, he starts to doubt himself. 

“i was too hard on them, wasnt i?” 

before mom can answer, aaron gets a call from jack (now 26 or 27) on his cell. he tells him that sophia tattled to him about the concert, and he didnt mention this to them, but he’d be okay taking the day off work to take them and their friends, and even find a spot to stay overnight so they aren’t out driving late.

mom eavesdrops. aaron tells jack to hold on a second, and mutes him. mom says that would be a good compromise and reminds him that they aren’t little anymore, and they can mostly fend for themselves (thanks to a few weeks’ worth of self-defense with derek over the summer). “i know it’s hard, honey. i can’t say i’m wild about it either, but if jack goes, i’d feel a lot better about that than the alternatives.”

he sighs, kisses her, and tells jack that would be alright. “i’ll go down the hall and tell them.”

“have some sucking up to do, old man?”

aaron just rolls his eyes and hangs up before walking down the hall. he knocks on the door, and two flat “what”s come from the other side of the door. he opens it, and finds caroline and sophia facing each other from their beds on either side of the room. he could tell they were talking shit, the set of their mouths giving them away. 

they’re looking at him like he’s goddamn war criminal. he pulls caro’s desk chair and sits backward on it in between the ends of their beds. “your brother has very graciously offered to take friday off of work to take you and your friends to the concert and spend the night in norfolk with you.” 

“so, you’re letting us go?” 

he tries not to let the biting resentment in sophia’s tone get to him. “i am. i’m sorry for coming down hard on you at dinner. it was wrong of me, and i understand that it could feel like i don’t trust your judgement. i do.” he looks at them each in turn. “it just freaks me out a little that you’re getting older a lot faster than i thought you would.” 

caro’s lip wobbles, and she throws her covers back and crosses to him, giving him a hug. “thank you. we’ll be good, i promise.” 

“i know, my little love.” 

it takes him a little while to get back into sophia’s good graces, but when he picks them up from jack’s apartment at the end of the weekend, she can’t stop talking about how much fun she had. he’s pretty sure he’s forgiven. 

3. 

its when he first starts dating mom that jack starts to act out. he’s usually a really well-tempered kid, but sometimes he’d snap at her or withdraw and it made her feel awful. there were definitely a couple of nights were he’d snap at her over something small and she would retreat to the back bedroom to take a minute. it wore on aaron to tell her that she wasn’t an imposition, that she wasn’t replacing haley, that she isn’t his second choice or ‘the backup’

they both have this moment of total defeat - they’ve known each other for so long, and jack has known her most of his life, but the change in relationship status really brought up a lot of stuff for the kiddo. 

mom comes around faster, learning to understand that jack is just adjusting and having trouble with the idea that there’s a semi-permanent female figure in his life, and that his dad’s attention is divided. thus, when aaron inevitably breaks down about it, she’s there. 

“i feel selfish. maybe i shouldn’t have -”

“aaron. we are doing everything we can to make this an easy adjustment for him, but it’s difficult.”

“but nothing’s changed! you’ve been here for five years.” 

“love, everything’s changed, and we’ve only been dating for a couple of months. that’s a lot for someone who’s barely seven. you’re not selfish, you’re not a bad parent. you haven’t made a bad judgement call. he’s just really young and is having trouble handling these very big changes in his home landscape.” 

so aaron finds a therapist for jack to see twice a week, figuring it was a good idea anyway with all the trauma he may or may not remember. it’s still sucky for a while, but as jack starts implementing the coping mechanisms he learns and mom takes on a role closer to a peer or friend than a parent, things get a lot easier. 

tagging: @arganfics @quillvine @stxrryspencer @agenthotchner @wandaswitxh @hurricanejjareau @fics-ilike @ange-must-die @ughitsbaby @rousethemouse @criminalsmarts @dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal @shrimpyblog @genevievedarcygranger @ssaic-jareau @good-heavens-chris-evans @angelsbabey @gublergirls @writefasttalkevenfaster @venusbarnes @vintagecaptainspidey @micaiahmoonheart @ogmilkis @thatreallyis-americas-ass @marvels-agents100 @newtslatte @risenfox @mrs-dr-reid @captain-christopher-pike @joemazzello-imagines @pinkdiamond1016 @sebbybaby0 @pan-pride-12 @hotchlinebling @lee-rin-ah @sunshine-em @word-scribbless @jdougl-love @sageellsworth05 @emmice9 @nohalohoseok @giveusbackourbucky @bauslut @yourlovelynewsbian @sparklingkeylimepie @aili28 @kingandrear @reader4027 @spnobsessedmemes @rogers-mouth @dreila03 @forgottenword @aaronhotchnerr @ssa-morgan @hotchnersgoddess @buckybau @phoenixfyre374 @sana-li @tegggeeee @abschaffer2 @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @songbird400 @dontkissthewriter @ellyhotchner @a-dorky-book-keeper @lotties-journey-abroad @mrs-joel-pimentel-23-25 @laneygthememequeen @ahopelessromantic @violentvulgarvolatile @andreasworlsboring101 @mooneylupinblack @ssareidbby @violet-amxthyst  @lcvischmitt 

[t8oo]

I have been consistently waking up nigh on every morning barely holding up enough strength to accomplish basic tasks like eat or take my medicine and every day I think I am too drained for school responsibilities and social interactions, and so every day I think I will do whatever it is I need to do, tomorrow. I never thought I was any sick because I wasn’t the depressed kind of drained. If interacted with I can respond in kind. I just won’t interact myself. I can laugh at dumb posts or draw because it comes naturally to me. I ignore all type of online interaction until I think i can handle them without stress. I sincerely just thought I was lazy. Last year things have unfortunately intensified because I was for the first time in years, presented with actual responsibilities I couldn’t evade or delay. At the time I didnt realize their importance, so of course I delayed and evaded them. I drew instead, drew alot. Drew too much. Drew so much it made me wonder if this was healthy. I’m productive after all. Isn’t that good ?

I was deemed unfit for school and fired, and through this process I was confused. Like the reality I was going through wasn’t mine. This school I’ve worked so hard to get in for couldn’t possibly fire me right ? The end of the joke had to come soon. About a week into August the psychiatrist dropped the hammer on me with a list of mental illnesses all tied to chronic illnesses I was already dealing with, a prescription and a recommendation for the closest hospital to handle my case, so to speak. I’ve lost the recommendation, have used the prescription until I no longer could, and I am still processing his diagnosis. Processing isn’t the right word. I’m mostly waiting for God to come out, tap my shoulder and tell me it’s all a joke. That I’m normal. But no. Okay.  

I think the most frustrating thing is that I’ve been semi functional my entire life, not sick enough to be deemed dysfunctional altogether, but not functional enough to be allowed basic activities, like going out without sweating, reaching out without panic. I have a cocktail of physical and mental illnesses that are laughable by themselves, but are hell to deal with as an accumulation. I have surges of strength where I think I am normal, and decide to reach out to people who are my friends, only to drain that minuscule stream of energy and absolutely needing to retreat. All my relationships are based on short  momentary experiences interspersed with significantly long period of flat line silence, enough time for people to give up and move on. The Undying loyalty of movie friendships had given me impossible expectations, coupled with the fact that I couldn’t possibly give back this support to whoever I expected it from, and for the longest time I couldn’t understand why my friendships were unsubstantiated. Real, genuine friendships cannot be built on a few words of interactions every few week, and it took me very long to realize this fact. 

I don’t know how to express to my friends that I love them and that I want them to love me, but that I have this thing, this weird weight, this invisible stuff I cannot define that keeps me from doing more. I’m ashamed of it, I’m sad about it, mad and upset, and it makes me write a long ass tumblr post to nobody in particular instead of reaching out to the people I really need to reach. Stupid. 

I’m sorry, I really am. I hope we can go to the movies together sometimes.

[letsbeoutoftouch]

Three days ago, I decided to start watching one of the Chinese dramas that had been sitting on my Netflix to-watch list for as long as I use it: 'A Love So Beautiful'.

I was (am) really excited over the Korean version because the FL is So Joo Yeon, whom I love since I watched 'Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 2' last year―she's adorable!

However, I knew that the Korean version was a remake, so I figured I should start with the Chinese one first. Besides, a few years ago one of my ex-friends told me I should watch it, and she has a pretty good taste in dramas... So, well―I succumbed. And, oh my! I'm so glad I did!

· · ·

'A Love So Beautiful' is a coming of age drama, which depicts the lives of five friends as from the moment they meet in high school up to adulthood, and how they learn about love, friendship and life in general. It especially revolves around Chen Xiaoxi (Shen Yue, from 'Meteor Garden') and Jiang Chen (Hu Yi Tian, from 'Unrequited Love').

· · ·

♡ PLOT & EPISODES:

It is a really light-hearted drama, and its plot is uncomplicated. It is ideal for when you are in the mood for something that doesn't have twists and turns, and/or whose plot doesn't require a great effort to follow. If you feel like watching a drama like that, then I really recommend you to start this one.

Although it's made up of 23 episodes (and one special episode), they are approximately 40-minutes long each. Therefore, I didn't feel that they were tiresome to watch. Also, as a person who gets distracted quite easily ―I have the attention span of a goldfish―, I must emphasise that I didnt pause it at all―except, maybe, to go and grab some snacks... And to post that screenshot with a reference to Argentina, lol.

· · ·

♡ CHARACTERS:

Xiaoxi (FL): This character is a well-known one in dramaland―the typical female lead who is really (and when I say really, I mean extremely, blindly) in love with the male lead, no matter his actions or the words that leave his mouth.

I normally find this type of character annoying (yes, I'm looking at you, Nao). I find it painful to watch that she keeps resiliently following the male lead, even when he is continuously humilliating her. Of course, if you keep in mind that she is a teenager, then you may be able to understand the way she behaves―we were all a little bit like that during our younger years... Or, at least, I know I was. However, that's hard to remember when the story depicts her to be neither a teenager nor an adult, although she is supposed to be the former. By this I don't mean that teenagers can't go through situations that may force them to 'grow up' quickly, but stuff like 'living alone with my classmate' is not a normal situation for a teen (especially, with their parents consent ¿¿¿¿¿)―that's more adult-ish.

Anyways, back to Xiaoxi.

When I think about my younger self, I think she might ―in some points― relate to Xiaoxi. Why? That's simple―because she truly acts like a teenager. For her, the problems she faces are like the end of the world, and deals with them as (most) young people would.

Amongst those problems, love is obviously included. She's devoted to the love she feels, and doesn't waver. She's always true to her feelings and to her heart―sometimes, a little too much for my liking. However, her genuiness and stubborness are two of the traits I liked the most about her.

But Xiaoxi is not entirely naïve―not all the time, at least. She stood her ground in some parts of the story, as a teenager and, mostly, as an adult. I must admit that one kick was amazing―I was lying in bed and I literally had to sit up and scream 'APLICADÍSIMA' (an Argentinian slang that, in this context, could be translated as 'nicely done').

▫ ▫ ▫

Jiang Chen (ML): Yet another typical character in dramas. He's one of those guys who barely speaks, looks serious 24/7 and, the most important thing, has feelings but is unable to show them most of the time.

I'm not going to deny that people like that do exist in real life (now that I think about it, I may be like that irl, lol), but the real problem is how they are portrayed in dramas. I mean, the fact that a person gathers all those characteristics within them does not equal to being an a*shole (again, I'm so looking at you, Uehara).

Jian Chen sometimes acts like an a*shole, I'm not going to deny that. He mostly acts like that out of jealousy, which doesn't make it right. However, he's continuously growing out of that behaviour (maybe not so much out of jealousy 🙃), and that's what I liked about this character. Even if his character doesn't entirely lose his true essence (being serious is not a bad trait per se, just to name something), it was refreshing to see that, when he's with her, he wouldn't act like he doesn't care about her at all.

▫ ▫ ▫

Wu Bosong (SML): Oh, dear. He's the sweetest. For real.

I'm not the kind of person who usually falls for the second male lead (for example, in Heirs I was always team Kim Tan, although everyone loved Young Do and shipped Eun Sang with him). However, this time, I found myself falling for Bosong really, really hard.

His character is yet another cliché―the sweet boy who's always helping the FL and has to be content with watching her from the sidelines. However, his kind and tender nature slowly captured my heart.

*spoiler alert* It broke my soul that the story was unfair to him―he deserved way better. Not only romantically speaking―all the scenes where his grandma doesn't recognise him were so, so heartbreaking. I know life isn't fair, but it is a drama! Don't make the poor boy suffer that much 😭.

However, even though I loved this character a lot, I ―by no means― shipped him and Xiaoxi. He deserved someone who would give him their entire heart―and, let's face it, Xiaoxi would never grow out of her love for Jian Chen. *end of spoiler alert*

· · ·

♡ FRIENDSHIP:

As far as I'm concerned, most people are only interested in the romantic side of dramas ―which is fine, of course―, but I'm adding this item because it was seriously one of the things I enjoyed the most about this drama.

The chemistry between the five of them is awesome. Sometimes, it's not just about how nicely the leads are to each other―I think that portraying a great friendship is equally important. After all, life is not just about romantic love―it's about all the other kinds of love, as well.

It was sweet that they not only grew up together, but also that they stayed friends even if they had other things going on in their lives. They were unconditional to each other, but that didn't just stayed in high school―it followed them to their adult lives. They still tried to find the time to meet, even if they were busy (*spoiler alert* Xiaoxi's fansigning! *end of spoiler alert*), and supported and had each other's back no matter what.

I liked how friendship was one of the main topics in the drama.

· · ·

♡ SUMMARY:

If you're looking for a cute and light coming-of-age drama (and you don't mind a school drama―i.e., dealing with the fact that they are teenagers during most of it), then A Love So Beautiful is the one for you.

Also, if you haven't ever seen a Chinese drama (and you're up to a drama with the characteristics abovementioned), then I recommend you start with this one. It's not boring, chapters are relatively short (40-minutes-long episodes are considerably shorter than Korean drama's one-hour ones).

The acting was great (again, bear in mind that the characters are teenagers!), the chemistry between the leads was good, and, if you're like me, you'll enjoy the chemistry between the entire group (*spoiler alert* although Bosong and Jian Cheng are ready to throw hands at each other like 99% of the time *end of spoiler alert*).

If you have some time, I highly recommend you to watch it!

I'm leaving the trailer here, if you want to check it out:

A Love So Beautiful is available on NETFLIX, VIKI and YOUTUBE!

· · ·

I hope you liked this 'review'. I wanted to write one since I finished the drama, but I have been busy studying for my finals.

Sending lots of love during these weird times ♡

[cultofbeatles]

beginners guide to the beatles

 made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol. 

pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you. 

john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon. 

born on october 9, 1940 

i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra 

when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure 

his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.

it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.

they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll 

he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose 

aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining 

his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young 

he thought he was a curse for the men in his family 

he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew. 

fashion icon.

hated school but loved art 

very early on he was insecure with himself 

teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life 

he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957 

paul taught him how to play guitar properly.

once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it 

john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time. 

 he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse. 

first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her) 

once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days. 

hate men. kill all men. 

when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?” 

slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.

only time her hit her.

read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg. 

once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.

founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.

instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums. 

main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.

was more open minded to change in the beatles music. 

was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting. 

would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass. 

had a lot of issues and needed a good hug. 

suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time. 

was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances. 

once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.

truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.

“your famous ex husband”

he enjoyed playing monopoly. 

he once claimed that he saw a ufo.

he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.

 the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.

he was afraid of the dark. 

found out later in his life that he was dyslexic. 

was also legally blind without glasses.

never could catch a break huh.

said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.

the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.

wanted to write a musical with paul. 

once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.

would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends. 

just dudes being dudes. 

went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.

yoko says that john was bisexual.

once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles. 

hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings. 

made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion. 

only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive. 

murdered on december 8, 1980.

gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.

died at the age of 40.

“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.

and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..” 

and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be. 

honorable john moments that i love:

“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart 

“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”

eric lennon on my mind today 

this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol

that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him 

john lennon speaking nothing but facts 

when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.

SHUT UP 

“shut up while he’s talking..”

this interview breaks my heart sometimes 

and this interview is great as well 

sir james paul mccartney 

born on june 18, 1942

if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart. 

idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh. 

he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth. 

his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born. 

when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted. 

the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.

I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.

but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.

the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast. 

he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.

never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh. 

had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh 

met john and was accepted into his band 

sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.

went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.

connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers. 

had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs. 

was an ass to his first girlfriend.

kill all men again. 

almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.

was the one who introduced george harrison to john.

practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down. 

got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.

still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly. 

main force behind the beatles imo. 

without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do. 

was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties. 

when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.

they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.

directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?

when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.

was a little controlling at times. 

has a good heart though. 

mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard. 

was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group. 

everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.

he just wanted what was best for the band.

married linda and had a nice little farm. 

we love that story.

linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.

started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays

food meat. not the other kind of meat.

children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney. 

rip martha. 

WINGS!! 

he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.

 cried for a whole year bc of it.

still has dreams about john and says they're nice.

wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”

really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did. 

want someone to love me like paul does john. 

“think of me every now and then old friend.”

honorable paul moments:

his story about george’s dad 

“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”

humpty dumpty rap 

another story about him and george.

his google search video that I watch every week 

this 

george harrison 

born: February 24, 1943 

or at least we think 

bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24. 

why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it 

he was the youngest child.

baby of the family and of the beatles awwww

two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.

when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.

his mom was super supportive of his career choice 

when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.

his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.

george said nah

would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul 

headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship 

was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john 

would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him 

once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.

was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished 

most sex craved beatle tbh 

once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate 

he was the first beatle to go to america 

got a black eye for defending ringo once 

would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed 

when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him 

during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie

became a vegetarian at 22 

favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color 

used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang 

met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night 

was turned down by her at first 

they married in 1966

wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass 

a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship 

got into eastern religion around 1965 

during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage 

had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen 

got a divorce from pattie in 1977

in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.

was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album. 

was buddies with led zeppelin

inspired their “rain song” 

smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him 

he financed and produced films. had a production company.

tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him 

but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”

formed another band called the traveling wilburys

he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.

“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”

in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times 

thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room 

had to get a part of his lung taken out 

died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer 

ashes were scattered into the ganges river 

honorable george moments:

this interview he did with ringo 

“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”

when he invented reaction videos 

“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”

“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”

sir richard starkey aka ringo starr 

born on july 7, 1940 

oldest member in the group 

has no siblings 

naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit 

but does everything else left handed

when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma 

was a very sick child 

when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band 

grew up poor 

loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot 

his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957

wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick 

he worked for a britain railway for a while 

also served drinks on a day boat for a job 

loves dancing 

Rory storm and the hurricanes 

got his nickname from all the rings he would wear

replaced pete best as the beatles drummer 

dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more 

had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit 

ringo i'm so sorry 

george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album 

in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.

was worried the beatles would replace him for good 

he’s a cancer don't worry

was the first beatle to try weed 

drummers always go first huh 

married his first wife, maureen, in 1965 

she kissed paul, ringo, and george.

what a champ

honeymoon was ruined by reporters 

was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance 

had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles 

but a great one with john 

john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo

was once in a movie with roger daltrey 

divorced maureen in 1975 

his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981 

had alcohol problems 

once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her 

put himself into rehab after that 

barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office 

children: zak, lee, and jason

zak is the drummer for the band the who 

peace and love 

but don't send me fan mail anymore 

peace and love 

ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)

was the narrator for thomas the tank engine 

will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun 

mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it 

honorable ringo moments:

“do you want me to come with you?”

stupid barbara walters 

talking about paul 

giving us a little dance 

[shhh-no-ones-home]

all i ever wanted jack daniels x reader

++++++++

imo this one is much better than the last. plus we get to see more of our faves lol. i hope yall like it!

Song: youre the one by greta van fleet

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

"max! come back!"

i yelled, chasing after my six year old. i heard him giggle as he ran towards the front door of the office.

"gotcha!"

i said, grabbing his hand before reaching around him and picking him, placing him against my hip with a huff.

"mommy i wanna go."

he whined and i shook my head, opening the door.

"i know baby but you have to be quiet, there are people working."

i said and he nodded, twisting his fist into my red blazer as we got in the elevator.

"do i get to see your office again?"

he asked excitedly and i sent him a smile.

"yes baby, you get to tour the lab too if ginger remembered you where coming today."

i said and he bounced against me, kicking his legs. i could barely hold onto him.

"mommy look!"

he pointed as the elevator opened, the large statesman emblem was embossed on the wall. i nodded with a smile.

"you wanna touch it?"

i asked and he nodded, leaning forward with his hand outstretched. he placed his hand against it, rubbing his fingers into the grooves like he had the last few times he'd visited.

"is that my favorite little man?"

i heard from behind me and turned to look at champ making his way down the hall.

"champ!"

he screamed, wiggling out of my grasp and running into his arms.

"you're getting so big."

champ said with a groan as he hoisted him up into his arms.

"im six now!"

max said loudly as we began the short walk down the hall to my office.

"six?! you're practically a grown up!"

champ said, making max giggle.

"no silly, im not that old."

he said with a smile as we rounded the corner.

"well, big man, what do we have on our list of things to do today?"

he asked as i moved to my desk to start my computer.

"ginger said i could tour the lab!"

he said loudly as champ sat in the chair opposite me, looking up to me and giving me an almost impressed look as max got comfy in his lap.

"well doesnt that sound fun."

max nodded quickly.

"hey kiddo, how about when you're done, you have ginger bring you by my office. i got a present for ya."

champ said and i sent him a look.

"really?!"

max said, wrapping his arms around champs neck in a hug.

"thanks."

he said, champ laughing a little bit as he hugged him back.

"well i gotta get back to work buddy, ill see after the tour. yeah?"

he said, holding him and standing up, setting him down in the chair.

"okay champ!"

he said with a wave and i nodded to champ as he made his way to the door.

"dont forget that mission assessment today either."

he said and i nodded.

"im meeting with jack during the tour."

i said and he nodded before closing the door behind him.

"mommy when do i get to see ginger?"

max asked impatiently as i sat, laughing a little bit.

"let me call her baby and i will let you know."

°°°°°°°°°

"ginger!"

max yelled, letting go of my hand and running to her as the doors opened. to my surprise jack was standing there talking to her, looking to me with an interested look as max came barreling into ginger for a hug. she crouched down and ruffled his hair as he pulled her glasses off, tucking the temples behind his ears and smiling at her widely. i laughed a little bit.

"baby you cant just take peoples glasses without asking first."

i said and he looked to me with a frown.

"sorry."

he said bashfully, handing them back to her and watching her stand.

"its okay max. are we ready for that tour?"

she asked, placing them back on her face, and he nodded quickly.

"please, please, please!"

he said quickly, taking her hand.

"ill see you when we're done?"

she asked and i nodded.

"oh, i almost forgot, take him to the conference room when you're done. champ said he had something for the little mans birthday."

i said looking down at him and raising my brows.

"oh thats right."

she said, also looking down at him.

"youre what? twelve?"

she asked playfully and he laughed.

"ginger, you know i just turned six."

he informed her and she nodded, closing her eyes and acting it up.

"oh thats right! six!"

she said, leaning down to his eyes level.

"i think we have something special just for you in here too."

she said and his eyes went wide.

"really?"

he asked and she nodded.

"yep, but we have to wait till we go see champ before you can have it."

she said and he nodded quickly, squeezing her hand and pulling her forward.

"lets get to it then!"

he said and i laughed, waving as they disappeared further into the room. i shook my head and looked to jack.

"ready to get that meeting started?"

i asked and he nodded, following me as i turned to walk out of the lab.

"so,"

he said and i sent him a raised brow.

"whose kid?"

he asked and i huffed out a laugh.

"mine, jack, he's mine."

i said and he nodded.

"funny, you didnt mention him."

he said and i shook my head.

"forgive me for not informing the out of towner."

i said with a wink and he rolled his eyes.

"hey y/n."

tequila greeted as he rounded the corner just as we did. he tipped his hat to jack.

"whiskey."

he said. i turned around and walked backwards to look at tequila as he got further away.

"max is in the lab with ginger, party in the conference room after their tour."

i said and he fist pumped.

"ill be there!"

i nodded once before turning back around. jack sent me a look.

"what?"

i asked innocently and he shook his head.

"am i the only one that didn't know you had a kid?"

he asked and i laughed.

"guess so cowboy."

i said, opening the door to my office and letting him in.

"as your boyfriend i feel like i shouldve known before now."

he said and i snorted.

"jack you are not my boyfriend."

i reminded and he sent me a look.

"have we not been going on dates?"

he asked and i closed my eyes, shaking my head and making my way behind my desk.

"missions are not dates jack."

i pointed out and he shrugged, dropping into the chair on the other side.

"why not? if i remember correctly most missions aren't supposed to end with your tongue down my throat."

he said and i sent him a stern look.

"jack-"

he held his hands up.

"no, no, i get it. you dont want a relationship as much as i don't. we're on the same page."

he said and i sighed.

"jack we talked about this. we both have our reasons for not getting into it. i just... i dont want him to get used to someone and then things end badly again. hes already lost one dad, i cant live with the guilt of breaking his heart like that again."

i said and he nodded.

"darlin, i know better than anyone what its like to lose your family, but that doesnt mean we both cant move forward. we have shared experience in that department, maybe it could make our relationship stronger."

i looked to my desk for a moment.

"let me prove it to you. let me take you out on a proper date, let your kiddo get used to me as another statesman agent, and if things get serious later on down the line then great, we can let him know about us."

he said and i looked back to him, chewing the inside of my lip.

"fine. ill let him get close to you today, see if he likes you if you really do plan on hanging around for a bit."

he nodded.

"champ needs me here for a while, i wont be going back to new york long term for at least a few months. besides, you know how badly i wanted to be a dad once upon a time, let me show you i can do this."

he said and i sighed.

"alright, ill give you a shot. but for now lets just get to work. we have to finish this mission report before the tour is over."

he nodded once.

"yes ma'am."

°°°°°°°°°

"mommy look!"

max shouted as jack and i walked into the conference room, running to me wearing his very own black Stetson and bolo tie.

"champ said im an honorary statesman!"

he said excitedly, fixing the tie into place. i laughed a little bit, looking to champ sat at the desk before crouching down in front of him.

"and you are the cutest statesman there ever was."

i said, holding his waist lightly and kissing his cheek. he giggled at me before hugging me quickly and running back to the table.

"now you look like whiskey."

tequila joked, pointing to jack and max looked at him. his eyes went wide as he set his crayon down onto the coloring page he was working on.

"i wanna be like whiskey!"

he said boldly, sliding off the chair and standing next to him, copying the exact way he was standing. jack dropped to one knee and looked over at max.

"its like looking in a tiny mirror."

jack said, max beaming at his words. they both looked up at me.

"what do we think mom? dont we look alike?"

jack tormented and i sent him a testing look.

"i guess we have a new favorite huh?"

i said slightly amused and max side nodded.

"mommy, no one could replace you, but i cant dress like you your shoes are to hard to walk in."

he said, making us all laugh as he climbed back into the chair and went back to coloring.

"thank you baby, i appreciate that."

i said, taking the seat next to him and looking at the page he was working so diligently on.

"did we get more horses?"

i asked, looking to ginger and her nodding.

"i remembered how much he loved going to the stables last time he was here."

she said and i sent her a knowing smile.

"oh, yeah, he has been obsessed ever since."

i said, looking back to him. my gaze made its way to jack as he looked down at him coloring.

"you like horses buddy?"

he asked and max nodded.

"my favorite is the mustang. mommy even lets me watch spirit before dinner every night."

he said proudly, not looking away from his project.

"how would you like to see a real life one?"

jack asked and i sent him a look. max's head snapped in his direction quickly.

"you have a mustang?!"

he asked bewildered and jack laughed.

"yeah i do. ill make you a deal."

he said, pointing at max and max was hooked.

"next time you come in with your mommy, and she's okay with it, ill take ya to go see him. and maybe take ya for a ride around the complex."

he said and max looked to me quickly.

"mommy! mommy please! i wanna see the mustang!"

he said and i sighed, brushing some of the hairs out of his eyes.

"okay baby, next time you visit we can go see whiskeys mustang."

i said and he fist pumped the air.

"yes! thank you mommy!"

he said hugging me. i watched jack with a burning gaze as he sat on the other side of max. i looked to champ and he sent me an amused look.

"kids will be kids."

he said and i rolled my eyes.

"now, how about that birthday cake we talked about?"

[horansqueen]

Vote For My Next Story

I'll try to keep this short. YOU&ME has ended, and it was a big part of the last few years of my life (along with AM Conversations). It'll probably always be my favorite and best story but that doesnt mean i want to stop writing.

please, know that the oneshots ideas are independent from the story ideas, meaning that i can write a story AND oneshots at the same time so let me know if youre interested!

(click on the read more to read the 10 synopsis of the story ideas I’d like to write)

AM Conversations & YOU&ME ideas:

-oneshots ideas for what happened after the story, before the story, or even in-between chapters in the story. you can send me ANY idea that you would want to read between Liv and Niall or other characters.

-oneshots ideas for any "what if" you can think of (i.e. what if one of them didnt love the other, what if they hadnt seen each other at the bakery, what if Liv had dated Louis, etc)

NEW STORY IDEAS:

NOTES: 

all the ideas are AU. 

 #2 #8 and #9 will include a few of the 1D boys. 

despite the title, #4 is a Niall fic

titles may change

                                   VOTE HERE!!!!

you can also vote by messaging me.

in the form, theres a place for comments but you dont have to leave any

you also dont have to leave your name or anything

thank you if you vote, it means a lot to me!

ill keep this open for a while, until i get enough votes :)

1- UNPREDICTABLE

They haven't seen each other since high school and they hadn't missed each other at all. In fact, they never really could stand each other. Her, a bit of a rebel, listening to punk music, searching for trouble whenever she could... and him, the good boy, popular and loved by everyone, who could rarely be seen without his guitar. It's been a few years already but not many things had changed and they still didn't have anything in common... except one thing. Both of them aspired to become famous with their music. With a twist of fate, they end up in each other's lives again and if they can put aside their resentment for one another, maybe they could bring something incredibly precious to each other. But nothing has ever been uncertain.

This is the story of two opposite persons who share a burning passion that may slowly bring them closer... or make the hatred they already feel for each other even more intense.

2- D.N.A. (daddies now available)

The test was positive. I was pregnant. The problem was, I didn’t know who the father was. It could be my ex boyfriend Liam, his best friend Niall or my best friend Louis. Or maybe it could be that boy I randomly had sex with, Harry... I had no idea and I was not going to find out soon.¸

All I knew was I had to tell four boys that there was a possibility for them to be a daddy in less than a year. Can you just imagine their reaction?

Contrary to all expectations, they accepted their fates.. somehow. And no matter who his daddy was, “little human” was going to get a lot of attention from a lot of men. Exactly like me.

This is my pregnancy story. And it was just the beginning of a long journey.

3- MEANT TO BE

When they first met, Louis was all *MAIN GIRL* ever wanted. However, a decade later the high school sweethearts had change and she felt like most of the sparkles she once had were now gone. Then she met Niall and it clicked instantly and intensely and since then, they’ve been seeing each other in secret, lying to their whole entourage about the nature of their relationship. Feelings started to grow, things started to change, and maybe, just maybe, it’s meant to be. Or maybe not.

A tale of broken hearts, unforgettable love and many… way too many lies.

4- LIVING WITH LOUIS TOMLINSON

Call me Queen Catastrophe. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my best girl friend and my apartment on the same day. Just a little friday afternoon like all the others, right?

Thank god, my best friend Louis was there to save the day. Nothing unusual. I was supposed to crash at his apartment for one night and then walk on my pride and go back to my parents to admit how much of a failure I really am.

However, Louis had other plans : he wanted me to move in with him. That’s when my story really starts. Mutual feelings, drunken sex, grocery shopping, fights that end up with porcelain thrown around the kitchen (I’m an intense person, I know) but most of all, his best guy friend stealing his (our, now) couch at least 5 nights a week.

I despise Niall Horan with all my heart. Him and his stupid charm, his flirty smile and his hands that always ended up in places they shouldn’t. He was threatening to come between Louis and I. He was slowly taking more space in our apartment… and in my heart.

Fuck, I hate Niall Horan with a passion.

5- FOR YOUR LOVE

After months of trying to get pregnant, Niall and his long-time girlfriend found out she was sterile. The news obviously shook their relationship and sparked a few arguments but after a long discussion, they found only one solution : hire a surrogate mother. As days go by, Niall's relationship gets harder and harder to save, and his connection with the surrogate mother of his child becomes tighter. Soon, he gets caught in feelings he can't explain and definitely can't understand. But life is not as easy as just following your feelings.

A story of unsettling feelings, confusing relationships, a deep and strong connection but mostly, decisions impossible to make. Can this really end well?

6- DATING FOR DUMMIES

*MAIN GIRL* has tried blind dates, dating apps, and speed dating to find her soulmate with no good result. Niall has tried pretty much the same without much more success. With all the bizarre, creepy and incompatible persons they meet, they're so close to give up on love until they meet each other through a friend. After a bottle of wine and a long discussion, they start thinking that maybe they were the problem, and that they're too dumb for dating. That's when they decide to make a list of what they individually want and need on a first date and finally decide to try it together. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and they will both realize that feelings can't be controlled.

When all else fails, the solution will always be to follow your heart.

7- THE BREAK-UP PLAN

*MAIN GIRL* and Niall's relationship had started when they had barely entered their teenager years. Now, over 10 years later, they feel like something is missing. They didn't know anything else besides each other and it had to change. They still planned on spending forever together but their lack of experiences and mistakes seemed to be an obstacle between them.

They agreed on  break that was not really a break. for six whole months, they would be able to do whatever they wanted to do with whoever they wanted to. Going to parties, leaving for a whole weekend with friends without giving any news, dating and even screwing whoever they wanted, nothing was out of reach.

They only had one rule : honesty. Every friday night, they'd meet and spend the whole night together, talking, making out or just cuddling until they'd fall asleep, to make sure their love was preserved.

Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned and seeing the person you love the most in the world be happy without you is something almost impossible to accept.

A story about angry tears, painful jealousy, sweet sweet revenge and realizing who your real soulmate is. Watch out, it's gonna hurt.

8- HOT MESS

*MAIN GIRL* has always been a bit of a rebel who didn't really care about much. She just enjoyed life the way she wanted to and never really paid attention to anything else. If she wanted something, she did everything she could to get it, no matter who she'd hurt in the process. After a few years away from her hometown, family and friends, she finally comes back to realize that a lot of things have changed. Jumping in her twin brother Liam's life without being invited, she's about to make a mess of everything he had made so much effort to build by flirting with every single one of his friends without any shame. She's not looking for a relationship, she's just looking to have some fun and break a few hearts... but perhaps, she's about to make a mess of her own heart.

Sometimes, you play the game and some other very rare times, the game plays you.

9- 15 Complicated Rules

I have no idea how I got into this mess but somehow, I ended up with 4 different fuck buddies. I thought I was going crazy until I made a strict schedule of the days and time I would see them, and wrote down a few rules I had to respect myself. A useful guide to manege my 4 fuck friends. Monday for my ex boyfriend, tuesday for my co-worker, wednesday for my old best friend and thursday for a family friend. It could work, right?

I've never been much of an organised person but I honestly thought I could make this work. Everything went as planned for a few months until I broke one rule after the other. That's when I knew I was in deep shit. These are my 15 complicated rules to have fuck buddies. And this is the story of my downfall and the incredible mess I put myself into. After all, rule 15 was 'Never Fall In Love' and I guess that's something I couldn't control, even if I wanted to.

10- DISCONNECTED

When *MAIN GIRL* switches college to finally follow her dreams, she was ready to face anything and everything that would come her way. After all, she had been through so much already, right? The problem was, she didn't expect to be stuck in a room with someone who gets on her last nerves because of a paperwork mistake. Despite trying to find an other place to live or spend her time talking to the administration, she had to face the fact that this situation wouldn't change for a few months. Niall knew how to piss her off and he clearly abused that superpower, doing anything and everything he can to annoy the most pretentious and stuck-up person he had ever met. Perhaps fate is having a good laugh, because they seem to get stuck together way more often than not, but it's not until they let down their defense that they will see who the other really is... if that ever happens.

Apparently, some people are in your life to teach you something and make you grow. Perhaps, if you take the time to listen to them and open up to them, your karmic soulmate can turn into your twin flame... or not.

11- NEW ANGEL

When *MAIN GIRL 1* breaks up with Niall, he takes it harder than he thought he would, realizing in the process all the feelings he had for her. After a few weeks locked by himself in his room, his friends take him out on a crazy night and he decides he needs someone else, if only to get over the girl he loves. That’s when he meets *MAIN GIRL 2* and bring her back home.  However, on the next morning, he realizes he doesn't want her to leave, and that despite the feelings he has for *main girl 1*, he could definitely develop something with *main girl 2*. Everything is going amazingly well for a few weeks until what Niall never thought would happen actually happens : *main girl 1* calls him to tell him she regrets leaving him. Now confused and stressed, Niall is going to have to make a choice between the girl he thought he'd spend his life with, and a girl he just met that makes his heart race. And he's going to get help on his journey from someone he would never have thought of.

A story about making choices, creating connections, messy hearts and confusing emotions.

(i have many ideas for this one but i dont want to give everything away!)