#most fun i’ve had since being front row at a one direction concert
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ok i’ve had time to process. (relatively incoherent) thoughts/spoilers under the cut
Ok the first thing I noticed is Phil is fucking radiant. Like I knew that but experiencing it in person is a whole different thing. I genuinely could not keep my eyes off him, even in times when Dan was yapping, like I actually might have missed a couple things cause I just couldn’t stop staring at Phil. His hair was a bit mussed up and it made him look even prettier somehow.
The second thing I noticed is Phil really is the funniest man alive lmao. I knew this too but again, experiencing it irl is just so much. His timing is perfect and the parts that were improvised were so so good. I love him so much. King of comedy.
Third thing was Dan is so big. I don’t mean tall (though that too) but just big. Big personality, big movements, big ideas, big voice. Which again, I knew, but irl it’s just so much more and once again I am soooo hopelessly endeared by him. Danny boy I love you so much with your crazy movements and your huge expressions and your loud ass voice, please don’t ever change. You really are something special.
Also, they’re really fucking good at this. I didn’t noticed any major flubs (ie forgetting lines) but even the couple times where you could tell they got a bit tongue tied or something they played it off so smoothly. The whole thing was so fucking good, and having spoilers honestly didn’t make it any less so. And the song fucking slays they better record that shit (and make a music video… please I beg…)
other tidbits:
-no amount of spoilers prepares you for the dioramas irl. it was So Much and so funny. at one point phil made the dolls 69 and dan said no they said kissing on the mouth and turned them around to be kissing on the mouth instead of the . uh
-dan bent his doll over the breakfast bar and phil made his doll do the uh. motions. but his doll wasn’t close enough or at the right angle to dan’s to look like fucking so from where i was at it was honestly closer to looking like phil had his face in dan’s ass 💀
-conspiracies were toilet, sleepless night with phil, bus, and wedding (i do think people were shouting for vegas louder but they did wedding anyway)
-when dan got tangled in the lights he said ‘help me dad’ and continued to walk around and make it worse while phil kind of chased him around. dan literally could’ve just picked his foot up and he would’ve been out but he just kept doing it until phil got him out and made to spank him with them to which dan said something like ‘i asked you to help me i didn’t think you were gonna whip me’ or something
-at one point dan said something about getting down on our level and he got down on the floor and did something but I was too distracted staring at phil (lmao) and didn’t realize until everyone was laughing rip
-dan was doing absolutely crazy things with his body the whole time. especially that super wide stance squat he does. Phil kept asking what he’s doing and at one point seemed genuinely concerned that he was going to rip his pants which like. i was also genuinely concerned about idk how those things are still intact
-lawyer dan banned the gays, wrote erotic fiction about cheese curds, and went to jail for being horny. we killed him
-doctor phil - I can’t remember the first question AT ALL lmao but he liked to help old ladies piss and had a secret collection of Milphs. when they were on the screen the second time every answer had ‘and cum’ added to them lmao. So he helped old ladies piss and cum and had a secret collection of milphs and cum. we also killed him
-when they ran around the venue they went down an enclosed stairwell and a fan was in there and they had to plaster themself to the wall as dan and phil and the camera guy ran past lmao
-the silicone 6 pack was not as weird irl as it looked to me in pictures
-sister daniel’s shorts were invisible from the audience. once i looked closely i could see them but at first i genuinely thought she had her tiny underwear back and i nearly fell out of my seat.
-when they talked about people invading their privacy and bothering their families and stuff someone shouted ‘i’m so sorry phil!’ like they were personally responsible for all of it lmao it was very cute
-they slayed the song so severely. like it fucking slaps. honestly they can both sing pretty well and they both did so good with the dance too. so fucking good
-the ukulele broke before dan even smashed it. it just fell apart midair LMAO it was so funny
#if anyone remembers the first doctor phil question PLEASE remind me lol#i’m sure i’ll think of more later but overall best night ever#most fun i’ve had since being front row at a one direction concert#phil is so beautiful i’m gonna die. also#my show#titspoilers#dan and phil#phan
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音像世界 [Audiovisual World] - Sept 2006
a very wonky but delightful translation under the cut
Placebo ; We are the 21st century modern rock band Text/Interview with Zhang Weiwei/Xingyue
On the first day of "2006 Beijing Pop Music Festival", "Placebo" Perform on the main stage of the company. "Placebo" is hailed as "the most Record the distinctive British music yin", this is their first time on the Chinese stage. Long talk will undoubtedly be a feast for listening to you. Mission to the last century In 1996, one named Brian Moco )lkO) boy,’ painted Seven eyes Liangying, leaving pitch black Childish behavior: ‘The violent red color I'm learning girls like a demon Sing a song "Nancy Kid" When I vent without hesitation Stupid material life and The emotion brought by the ft world. From the moment on stage, cloth Who is the backlog in my heart Thrown in front of the world, lead Shoulder, reputation, obsession and even People band one by one "placebo" Horribly turned out, "(Radiohead)s" "'Oasis" (Oasis) Three The altar adds a stunning Household Don't one by one Lane was born into a wealthy Bank entrepreneur, mother Christianity. Childhood, Tossed in Scotland, Libby Between Schlossburg. Serious , And moved countless times Dogs have no fixed partners in childhood Jidu is lonely, even learning
The classmates and teachers in the school are also particularly alienated, plus , My parents ignored because of busy banking , The physical and psychological growth of his son, Bryan from 11 I have been learning from the streets, newspapers and magazines since I was Factory women give themselves makeup and always like to surround Women go round and round. When he was 16 years old, his parents gave him a copy Telecaster guitar, very sensitive to music Brian soon bought a real price A real guitar, and I've been obsessed with playing guitar ever since, So that everyone can often see it on stage Brian gently hugged the guitar one by one He plays the role of a mother in his life Important role. But in fact, Bryan’s parents Straightforwardly oppose him to engage in art-father- I want to let Brian inherit his career and become a Bankers one by one Blaine began to use gender boundaries Vaguely neutral dress to resist father and family Against pressure. Until the end, Brian and his father There is no longer any contact or exchange. In 1990, 18-year-old Brian left the family. Came to London alone and entered Gold Smiths Academy of Art and Drama Studies (British The prestigious Royal Academy of Art, "Blur" Former guitarist Graham Coxon Coxon) also graduated from the college J. Cloth at this time Ryan has been able to skillfully play a variety of instruments such as Ji Him, keyboard, bass, drums, saxophone, and even DJing, He also worked as a DJ in several clubs, but he was honest Say that I am not very good at being a DJ0 By chance in 1994, Brian Kensington subway station encountered a later career ride Stefan Olsdal,} Invite him to form a band with himself and join in one, Club performance. Osdo listened to Brian Immediately after the song was attracted, not only that, he , Put his Swedish friend Robert Schutz (Robert Schultzberg) pulls into the music Be a drummer (until 1996). Until later , Bryan also emphasized that Osdo accepted his The moment I invited to the band was my whole life E one of the unforgettable moments. During this period, Bligh En called the band "Ashtray Heart" (Ashtray Heart) Heart)0 After quickly gaining awareness, they The band was renamed "placebo". Soon, Caroline Records has recognized this and A different young band. In 1996, Robert Schutzberger The conflict with Brian increased and left the band, from Therefore, the position of the drummer has always been Steve Huey 特 (Steve Hewitt) instead. In the same year, the band The first album of the same name "Placebo" (Placebo) released Row. Singles "Nancy Kid" and "Young Rage" (Teertage Angst) immediately became a hit single, The stubborn and rebellious children of the entire Yao British Empire Was boosted by this three-person band, "placebo" It seems that they have been able to relieve their psychological barriers A great pill for manic heart. Just as Brian is different from Ordinary costumes-mascara, eyeshadow, full lips, ~ Nail polish, skirts, this series will only show up The characteristics of a woman’s body are now affected by a height,The British man who is less than 1.75 meters boldly and naturally used to dress himself up. The British media took advantage of the trend and gave him the title of "fashionable Bowie". "Media reporters like to make boo heads. Maybe it's because life in the UK has always been so dull and boring. That's why they were surprised when they met me and yelled. I like "Sonic Youth" and "Sonic Youth". "Pixies", I prefer to dress myself up as I want to appear on the stage, in the MV and even in life. I just enjoy such an open-self lifestyle." Brian shrugged and said softly. In a tedious and lengthy interview after a TV show performance, Brian deliberately pointed the guard }l to the male reporter’s chest, so that the reporter was tossed by the sly Brian that he had no intention of continuing the interview. Go on, while Hewitt and Stephen are laughing together. After the album of the same name was released, the band easily got the mainstream record company Virgin In November 1998, he quickly recorded and released the second album "No "Without You I'm Nothing". This album has a rare change in the depth of the lyrics and Brian’s vocals compared to the first album. Brian in "Pure Morning" lowered his throat and reluctantly sang "Send charcoal in the snow." "A Friend in Need A Friend Indeed" (A Friend in Need A Friend Indeed). A famous sentence like household. Bryan, dressed in black, jumped out of the building and walked straight down the wall. The MV for this song was also planned by Bryan. A keen listener can find from this Xin album that the alcohol, drugs, and erosive relationships in "Nancy Kid" have changed to the mixed emotions and emotions toward urban men and women in "Every You Every Me".
The rhetoric of the low-level media is more intense. Every large-scale live performance, "placebo" In order to pursue the perfect sound effect comparable to the recording studio, Always bring fixed musicians with them Stage performance, and these fixed musicians also accompanied Placement has gone through a worthy 10 years. Although But on the stage they always hide without light In the dark, but they are the same as the "placebo" three The relationship between the members is like a formal team member. Observant Fans will also find that "Velvet Gold Mine" These regular musicians also participated. And "Ann Placement" "Believe in Me" held in Paris (Soulmates Never Die) large concert now The DVD and MV compilation are everybody’s Placement" a precious treasure that loyal fans must collect, The Paris concert not only included the "placebo" essence Cham’s hot live performance also hides a 30 Minute tour documentary, including how the three escaped Avoid the chase of fans and talk about the fun in the lounge Bryan teaches you how to draw eyeshadow and sightseeing Precious fragments of time crazy Stefan. "Placebo" will play an electrified style The ultimate is the new album released this year Meds; compile the album cover with "Sleep with the Elves"
It’s exactly the same, it seems to come from the same designer hand. As Brian said, in the past 10 years he’ We work hard to find a position and style that suits us, Looking for an invisible limit. Bryan and Le The team has been trying to get out of this restriction, out of them Have experienced, followed, intoxicated, avoided A sensitive area that has been and moved by. Although cloth Leith now has a child named Cody Zihe ~ a touching wife who maintains a stable relationship with him One by one wife, son, and teammates are all Bligh En is deeply loved one by one, but Brian is uneasy in his blood The molecules make him feel full of emotion and sensitive heart The world has never changed. Now the "placebo" starts Putting aside some long-standing conventions, in the new album Significantly reduced the iconic guitar distortion, the band Focus boldly with a more fashionable electrified style With drugs, alcohol, and love, it’s like a giant record jacket The naked, twisted, and shouting woman, "Ann The placebo" bravely broke free from the past System", more calmly standing in the British rock music front.The growth of the Bone Association Band? I am very happy with the growth of the band. Our growth and success are all through long-term hardship...Shan:1 Linde. It’s been an almost uninterrupted tour for 10 years. This is a relatively old-fashioned way of running Cantonese. "(The tail is also what we like very much. The live performance of the mountain and the constant currency" requires that you can get yourself in it. In the early days of the band’s establishment, we had already decided to deliver the music to our listeners in the most direct way. What do you think of the development of Yaoi’i Gun Music? "Lonz Ferdinand" (1,s,i Pordinand), "Arctic Monkeys" (Arctic Monkeys). "The Kooki"; do you think they really have "material"? Just because they are from the same island does not mean they are anointing Le Buya! What is in common. Of course "Franz Ferdinand" and "Arctic Monkey" must be influenced by the music of IJ Moji {Fei, in my heart! Bu! . He is a very good band in J1IJ4 II. Especially the L tail, "Arctic Monkey r", their "material" lies in the quality of their Shule creations. They are very humorous, full of the strong vitality of the factory, modern city, and very British creative style. What they are telling Very interesting, but also very "human", very A true story is a very realistic expression Present form. I think if the "street boy" (The Streets) is a rock band, they ' It will be the "Arctic Monkey". I personally have always been very happy Happy "Franz Ferdinand", from their first An album begins. They are from Scotland and also It brings another kind of cultural experience. What I want to say is that although there are so many Success bands are all from the UK, but they don’t Not necessarily have something in common, nor is it necessarily It means that rock music in the UK will be more Good or worse. Good is good, bad is good Is bad, there is no need to divide by region Standards. What kind of concept do you hold on creation? We are a rock band, just like I We are a modern rock music team. We enjoy using various tools and equipment The possibility of creating music. Rock music is not only It’s a simple guitar with electronic elements Not only can be used in a certain kind of special music In the category. The key to its function depends on you How to use it and how to integrate it better In your own music category. Was the grunge trend in the U.S. Has any influence on you or a British band? You like Is Grunge Fun? I never really liked it Grunge, I have never heard of "Nirvana" (Nirvana) Music until Kurt Coben (Kurt Cobain) passed away. For me, "nirvana" Too mainstream T0 I am more interested in those very Alternative bands, like "Sonic Youth" (Sonic Youth), or the late 70s, 80s Post-punk band in the early years. What do you think of as a British band American culture? We ourselves think that "placebo" is a European bands. Of course we were founded in London. Half of my blood is Scottish, history of drummer The name "Friend (Steve Hewitt) is of British descent, Stefan Olsdal is a Swedish. We Speaks many languages, Stephen speaks 5 languages, I speak French and English. We grew up in Europe There are K people from the I1 family in Zhou, we see ourselves as Europeans, I don’t think I have any special UK Pity. We can, will historically and geographically The music of the country and the era is biased. Ok Meeting the music and blood should be interpreted, and it is truly I found it at Ill lii.} I don’t care if the music comes from Which country, as long as it can move people. but I I want to say: "I'm very happy that I will be in Europe Life". Countless tours and publicity all over the world make people Enjoy it? I enjoy the tour, but not the publicity. But it is equally important. In the past 10 years, We have been through live performances all over the world Accumulated a group of very loyal and sincere fans. Every year, the number of our fans grows very much View. Although it takes a lot of time to do this, it also gives me We added a lot of fun. You know there are many "placebos" in China Fans? They are very obsessed with "placebo" The violent distortion guitar and your charming voice, even Even when playing the piano is hot, many fans want to know the invitation, What do you think of your fans. Ah, haha, of course I hope so. "I must wait until Ij comes to Beijing in September to learn about Chinese musicWhat a fan is like, I look forward to it very much. It’s not just heterosexual people. Placement", many gays also like you We, what do you think is the reason that makes "Ann Does "Placement" attract different fascinating groups? Great! I think this is great! I think For our honesty in emotions and the truth in life Desire to communicate, um, if our music can move people, it must be physically,There are three aspects, both mentally and emotionally. You are now a father What kind of impact? The kind of perplexed and perverted Dong Is Xijijing completely far away from you? Honestly, no. As for myself Those who are confused and perverse, maybe less A little bit. But now there is another person Let me care, need my protection, so that it will not be this Hurt by a huge bad world. You have always loved to dress up, you still Do you love applying black nail polish to yourself? I have not bought black nail polish for many years Yes, but I still paint eyeliner and eye shadow. I do Did not try to do anything special through these performances Communication, in addition to thinking that people should dress up, Freedom in dress, choice and preference, not affected by Constrained by any established standard. If hard If any message is conveyed, it is freedom. But I do this entirely because I like it, I think I look great like that, like a The mentality of a lady with makeup. How do you think a man should make his evening watch more cultured and tasteful? I think in the 21st century, men should be free, Wear what they like and dress up like they like Huan look. In comparison, women are more They can wear skirts or they can wear Pants, they can make up or not, They can look bright and beautiful, or they can watch Go up and take control. In the 20th century, men’s The choice has become so small. Looking back, Louis France in the fourteenth period, and the restoration period In Great Britain, men used to love makeup that much, Their clothes are so gorgeous and they look so good elegant. So we just trace the roots in history. The media will use it when evaluating "placebo" Keep your eyes on such things as "male and female", "gorgeous", ) If you have to symbolize, how can you give yourself Has it been defined and classified? A modern rock band. A 21 The modern rock band of the century. Let me show you and all Some magazine readers confirmed that "placebo" is not Hermaphrodite, the "placebo" members are all men, Everyone is.
In addition to work, the three of you often Play together? The three of us spend time together Family and love have more time. So when we After we got home, we gave all the time Family material lover, ha ha. Can you chat online? No, it never happened. I know net Some people on the network will call themselves Brian Mok, Husband ,,’’No~1 million That would definitely not be me. If you are online I met someone like that and I visited Brian Mo But my blog or Myspace, I read my Diary, you have to believe that it is definitely a lie. I Will not publish their life information on the Internet, I am a privacy-conscious person. What's the story of the performance in China this time ? What are your expectations for the Chinese record market What? Just like going to Thailand and Korea, through hosting Party’s invitation, we’ll come and we know people We like our music, so we can play for them We are also very happy to play. As for the record market, I Really have no idea. I just look forward to acting I hope to bring an outstanding performance. Please describe you in one word or sentence " 3 people. Just one sentence. Have you seen "Starship Fans Is this TV show "Star Trek"? Oh, your country may not broadcast it. Stephen It's "Mr. Spock" (Mr. Spock) It’s ‘Dr. McCoy’ and I’m "K Captain Kirk" (Captain Kirk)
#gonna post sappy nostalgic stuff for my bday lol#sly brian did what to the journalist...#👀#sleep with the elves.... please tell me thats the official chinese album title!#literally the most expensive thing i bought in china lol#placebo#brian molko#steve hewitt#stefan olsdal
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Tease
Title: Tease
Pairing: Namjoon x reader
Genre: Established relationship, light smut, slight fluff?
Warnings: Mentions of dom/sub themes (literally just a mention of how Joon takes control), semi-public, heavy petting, teasing, possessive boyfriend, light smut.
Word Count: 5.6k
Song inspiration: Burning Up (Fire)
A/N: My fourth submission for ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo Event is finally here! This is my longest one so far, sort of a commission for a friend of mine who isn’t on tumblr. I asked her to pick my next song from my bingo card and then asked her what kind of thing she wanted and which member/s she wanted to feature. All she gave me was ‘something passionate’ and nominated our very own President Joon. I sent her this earlier this evening and let’s just say she was pretty happy with it! It’s the closest to smut I’ve written in a long time, which is why it took me so long to write as I was making more edits than normal to make sure it was to a level I was happy with.
Also, for the purposes of this story, Y/N is the same age as Taehyung and Jimin :)
The heat around you was stifling, and yet you couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else right now.
You held your necklaces down against your chest as you jumped in time with the beat, the bass line emphasised by the hundreds of other bodies that were doing the same around you. You hadn’t stopped smiling the whole time you’d been here, but you’d given up on singing along a few songs ago, your throat dry and starting to scratch after an hour or so of belting out your favourite lyrics. You hadn’t wanted to risk losing your spot right at the front just to get a drink, especially when you knew the set was nearly over, so you’d persevered.
Your eyes drifted shut as you felt the familiar euphoria wash over you, the same feeling you got every time you got lost in one of these underground shows. Even in the dim lighting, your skin was glistening with the sheen of sweat, the small venue meaning that, even at a limited capacity, the audience was forced to be in even closer proximity than they would be at a normal gig. While you would normally be a bit wary of being so close to so many strangers that contact was unavoidable, there was a sense of security in the fact that everyone else was here because they were into the music as much as you were. If this was a normal nightclub, you’d be stood with your back to the bar and a wary eye on anyone who so much as blinked in your direction.
This wasn’t a normal nightclub, though. This was a strict, word-of-mouth-only gig, a rarity now that the band above you was becoming more and more well known, but it meant that the only people who knew about it were from the scene the guys themselves had grown from and, despite the bad press underground music seemed to get, you’d never met a more respectful group of partiers in your life. Sure, you got jostled and nudged and bumped into, but there was nothing untoward in any of the contact you experienced. No wandering hands or unwanted touches, just the consequences of people getting as lost in the music as you were.
Besides, they all knew who you were, and so they subsequently knew that any bad word from you would lead to Namjoon banning them for life. You’d repeatedly told him it was too extreme a punishment, but he was adamant. No one touched his girlfriend except him, and that was the end of it.
Your teeth sank into your lower lip as you imagined Namjoon being able to see you from the stage. You knew that the sight of you amongst the sea of writhing bodies must have been driving him crazy, especially when he’d repeatedly told you that you could watch the gig from the wings of the stage so that he didn’t have to suffer for the whole two hours. But making him wait rather than letting him steal kisses during the breaks in the set was all part of your fun, knowing that the pent up frustration would pay off to both of your benefits before the night was over.
Another part of your fun was pretending to watch everyone but him. You spent most of the gig watching him, always enthralled by the performer he was, but whenever he looked over to you, you would enjoy letting your gaze linger on Hobi’s hips the few times he would dance freestyle or following Jimin’s hand every time he pushed his hair back from his face. If Namjoon didn’t know it was all part of the game you both played, you wouldn’t do it, but there was something about the way his jaw got tighter every time he caught you watching one of his bandmates that caused a heat to rise from within you. Not to mention the thought of how he would insist you needed reminding who you belonged to afterwards.
Just the thought of what was to come was enough to let your head drop back onto your shoulders, crooking the arm raised above your head at the elbow to push your own hair away from your neck in a vain attempt to get some cool air on your skin.
When your eyes finally opened, they were magnetically drawn to Namjoon’s sunglasses, the red frames a stark contrast to the silver hair he was currently sporting. You were close enough to see the beads of sweat at his temples and the way his eyes were locked onto you through his dark lenses. You held his gaze just long enough for him to register that you were looking at him before shifting your focus to Taehyung. You smirked at the way Namjoon’s jaw muscles clenched in your peripheral vision and, knowing that the next was their last song, you decided that tonight was as good a time as any to up the ante in your teasing.
As Namjoon stepped forward to make the announcement to the crowd that confirmed that this was, in fact, going to be their last song of the night, you took your chance while he was distracted. Looking down as you untucked your top from your shorts, you let your hair fall back over your face to hide the cheshire grin you could feel pushing against your cheeks. The loose material billowed up slightly as it was freed, reminding you why you’d tucked it in to begin with, but you gathered it up in your hands to tie it across your chest. The simple knot rested just under the swell of your breasts as a result, which, combined with the low neckline, left little to the imagination. If it wasn’t for your inherent trust in the crowd around you, you’d never dream of showing so much skin at a gig, but you felt safe enough here to do so.
You stifled a giggle when you caught Jin watching you, sending a cheeky wink his way that made him shake his head with a playful roll of his eyes. You watched him subtly lean in to Yoongi and murmur something in his ear as Namjoon expressed his thanks to everyone who had turned up. You saw the older rapper’s eyes shift to your face, drop down to your exposed midriff and then shoot back up to your eyes again. You shrugged and feigned a pout, fanning yourself with your hands to show you were making the heat your excuse, but Yoongi simply laughed, wiping a hand over his face as he looked away.
They knew as well as you did that this would be more than enough to distract Namjoon, maybe it was even verging on being too distracting, but you couldn’t find it in you to care all too much. Your opportunities to play with your boyfriend’s patience during performances were now few and far between, and not only because the front row at a stadium concert was much further away than the front row at a 250-person gig; Namjoon didn’t let you in the crowds at their bigger concerts for your own safety, especially since your relationship had become public just over a year ago. No, when they toured and you were lucky enough to make it, you watched from the wings with the tech crew. But here, you had insisted that he let you be part of the crowd again, telling him you wanted to see him in his element just as you had when you’d first met and fallen in love with him. When he’d relented, you’d known you were going to milk it for all it was worth.
By the time Namjoon was wrapping up his speech with a shout of ‘불타오르네!’, the news of your plan had spread through the other members on the stage. Jimin and Taehyung had both shot you grins as wide as your own, grinning at the back of their leader and laughing between themselves, no doubt making bets on how long it would take for two things to happen: first, for Namjoon to notice you, and second, for Namjoon to drag you away from the rest of the band when you went to meet them backstage. Hobi, just like Jin and Yoongi, had shaken his head only to be betrayed by the smirk on his mouth before imperceptibly sending a sharp dig into Jungkook’s ribs with his elbow, the maknae seemingly frozen to the spot with a water bottle halfway to his lips. Startled, Jungkook’s face flushed red as he turned away, much to the delight of his hyungs despite the wary glances he was shooting at Namjoon. You felt a small twinge of guilt, knowing how much Jungkook respected your boyfriend as his leader and you as his noona but, given that he could also be incredibly cheeky towards you when he’d let a few glasses of soju pass his lips, you felt you were well within your rights to still be able to make him blush.
The cheer of the crowd brought your eyes back to Namjoon as he stepped back from the front of the stage. As they got ready to perform, you saw Jimin lean over and speak right into Namjoon’s ear, and for a second you thought he might be ratting you out, spoiling your fun. However, when all Namjoon did was nod and rearrange his shirt on his shoulders as he turned back to the crowd, a small sigh of relief relaxed your shoulders.
You watched as Namjoon let the rising tempo wash over him, tipping his head back and breathing deeply as he waited for the beat to drop, and you felt a shiver creep up your spine as you waited for him to notice you. Despite how much you’d enjoyed teasing him all night, you now found yourself unable to take your eyes off of him. You couldn’t look away if you tried, desperate to see the exact moment he noticed you and your newly arranged outfit, though, if you had, you would have seen the way Jimin snuck a glance at you with a grin. Even as you let yourself get swept up in the crowd jumping around you, your eyes stayed firmly on Namjoon.
All throughout the opening chorus, he jumped about with his bandmates like they always did, throwing arcs of water over the crowd and joining in with the rhythmic bouncing on his feet. Even during Hobi and Yoongi’s verse, he seemed to stay over on the other side of the stage from you, and you could feel yourself growing frustrated. As much as you tried to remind yourself that Namjoon was nothing if not a generous performer, wanting to interact with as much of the audience as he could, you couldn’t help but feel that he was purposefully ignoring you. Maybe you had gone too far with your game, even though you were sure you hadn’t been any worse than normal.
If they were performing the choreography, you’d understand Namjoon’s distance, but considering they’d decided to forgo the routine for their last song, it meant Namjoon was purposefully avoiding coming near you. The image of Jimin whispering in your boyfriend’s ear flashed up in your memory and you began to think maybe, just maybe, Jimin was trying to sabotage you. After all, you knew he’d most likely made a bet with Taehyung and you also knew Jimin was not against trying to sway the odds in his own favour.
You called it cheating, he called it being strategic.
His pink hair seemed to glimmer under the stage lights as he sang his part of the hook alongside Jungkook at the front of the stage, holding out his mic to the crowd for the recalls, his grin as wide as it always was when he got to perform so closely to his fans. He caught your gaze as the chorus kicked in but quickly looked away. Given the playful flirtiness you and Jimin had always had as a part of your friendship, both before and after you and Namjoon had started dating, his looking away from you without first sending a cheeky wink your way had you wondering if there wasn’t something more going on.
You found it hard to keep up with the energy of the crowd as they bounced in time with the music, feeling like your thoughts were coming too quickly for you to hear them properly as you tried to figure out what was going on. As your feet came to a stop on the hard floor below you, you noticed that none of the seven men on the stage would meet your eyes in return. Not even Jungkook, who seemed to be able to sense it if you looked at him for longer than a few seconds.
It’s probably nothing, a small voice in your head made its way to the forefront of your conscious mind. It’s the last song, let them give the crowd what they want.
“Hey, burn it up-” Namjoon’s voice cut through your thoughts, his verse bringing him to the front of the stage with a rise of cheers to meet him. He was just a few people across from you, leaning out over the first row of the crowd, and even this sudden increase in proximity after watching him on the stage all night was enough to bring your heart rate up. Your eyes darted around his face like you hadn’t seen him in weeks, taking in the sharp line of jaw, the damp hair at his temples, the way his lips formed around his words right up against the mic…
You could also see his eyes behind his sunglasses from this angle and, with a hitch in your breath, you realised that he was watching you out of the corner of his eye. His dark gaze languidly drifted down your body as his deep voice continued to rumble out of the speakers, lingering at what you guessed must be your exposed waist before snapping back up to look you straight in the eye. You let your smile return as you gazed up at him from under your lashes but, rather than seeing any sort of approval cross his face, Namjoon’s brow seemed to furrow briefly before he turned away just in time for Hobi to join him, the two of them slinging their arms around each other’s shoulders. Being the subject of Namjoon’s attention never failed to spark a tingling sensation in your spine and this game of pushing each other to the limits in public was one you both enjoyed, regularly discussing where the borders of fun and actual frustration laid. The shivers that spread from your spine outwards to the tips of your fingers and all the way down to your toes was a confusing, heady mix of fear that he was actually unimpressed and arousal that he was trying to exert his dominance even from the stage. Even you couldn’t tell, despite how well you knew Namjoon, and it was a situation you hadn’t been in since you’d first started playing this game, back before you were publicly dating and you first tested the waters of trying to tempt him while he was on stage.
The crowd continued to pulse and swell around you in time with the music like waves crashing up against a cliff and, in the same way a cliff withstands the waters, you were unmoved by the energy around you. All you could do was watch Namjoon, waiting for him to give you another dose of the attention he had just given you a taste of so that you could figure out what he was thinking. Pressing your thighs against each other as you felt the heat in your abdomen spread lower, you tried to repress the shiver that crept up your spine at the conflicting feelings you were experiencing.
But it seemed as if a taste was all Namjoon was willing to give you as he went back to either dancing around the opposite side of the stage or purposefully looking out over and above you to the rest of the crowd. Arcs of water once again flew out across the crowd, their cheers reaching fever pitch as Jimin, Hobi and Taehyung indulged the crowd, performing small snippets of the dance break.
It wasn’t until the final chorus began to fade out that Namjoon met your eye again, this time simply nodding his head towards the door that led backstage as you saw the telltale twitch in his jawline.
Fuck.
As subtly as you could, you stepped back from the very front to make your way through the crowd to the left of the stage, ducking your head as you went. You cast one last cursory glance before turning down the small corridor that led to the backstage door, only to see that no one was watching you leave. Namjoon was back in among his bandmates as they lined the front of the stage, jumping along with the crowd before them.
Your heart was hammering in your chest as you made your way down the side of the stage, hastily pulling the front of your shirt free from the knot you’d thought was such a good idea not five minutes earlier. You weren’t sure if it was fear or just finally being away from the mass of bodies, but a chill ghosted over your arms as you fished your pass out of the small cross-body purse you were wearing (a gift from Hobi, of course) and held it up for the man stationed by the door. Seemingly satisfied after a very brief glance, he pushed the door open for you and let you through, pulling it shut behind you.
As you passed the small steps that led up to the wings, you could hear the music fading out despite the renewed cheering that echoed down the hall in front of you. You’d never been here before, but you had been to enough venues of various sizes to find your way to the lounge area quite easily. Slipping inside, you smiled at the few members of BigHit staff that were waiting to help out post-performance, a few of the make-up eonnis waving you over to give you brief hugs. Just as they were asking you how the show had been, the echoes of loud footsteps and laughter started to come down the corridor and it became evident the boys had left the stage. Flashing a smile at the women beside you, you made your way over to the sofa on the other side of the room as they readied themselves for the organised chaos that always followed a gig.
Jin and Yoongi were the first ones to come through the door, unsurprisingly, both immediately finding their chairs and handing off their jackets to the waiting pairs of hands from wardrobe. Jin’s gaze locked with yours in his mirror. You didn’t miss how his eyes darted down to take in your smoothed-out shirt but, before you could ask where Namjoon was, he simply smirked and turned his attention back to Yoongi, who was talking beside him.
Jimin and Jungkook tumbled in next with Taehyung close behind them, Jimin bent over in giggles and Jungkook talking rapidly with Taehyung, every back and forth between them bringing a fresh wave of laughter from their hyung. As he straightened up, Jimin was immediately ushered over to another of the make-up stations while Jungkook wandered over to wardrobe to hand over his jacket and begin taking off his outer shirt. Taehyung, the only one seemingly not bothered with removing his clothes or his make-up, came over to your side of the room with a feigned nonchalance that you could see right through. You knew him well enough by now to know that his barely-concealed grin meant he was dying to tell you something, but he had clearly sworn his secrecy as, instead of talking to you, he simply grabbed a bottle of water from the table beside you and winked as he turned away again, twisting the plastic cap open.
You weren’t sure if you were imagining the growing tension in the room as each of the present members seemed to catch each other’s gazes, none of them putting any effort into hiding their glances at you. Nervous energy was now thrumming through you, your right leg bouncing on the ball of your foot and your hands tightly interlocked on your lap. Before he could move away, you took a shot at trying to weaken Taehyung’s resolve.
“Taehyung-ah?” The man in question simply raised an eyebrow with a hum of acknowledgement. You looked up at him with widened eyes and a hint of pleading in your tone. “Where’s Namjoonie?”
You’d stopped using ‘oppa’ for your boyfriend not long after you’d started dating, feeling a little bit uncomfortable with using the term for the man you were sleeping with as well as his older bandmates. Besides, he was more than happy with you using his nickname as a substitute for the honorific; at least, he was when you had company.
Taehyung glanced around with an exaggerated look of confusion, as if he’d only just realised Namjoon wasn’t yet in the room, before turning to you with what you could only describe as a mischievous smile, “I’m sure he’ll be here soon, Y/N-ah.”
Low and behold the door opened then for the final time, Hobi and Namjoon seemingly in deep conversation with one of the managers as they came into the room. You shifted in your spot, tucking a leg under yourself to refrain from running over to him and interrupting, and your hands started turning white as they gripped each other even tighter. Everyone else in the room tuned out of your senses as you watched Namjoon in conversation. It seemed the way he could enrapture you without even trying was never going to fade, your body sitting up straighter and your heart beating faster as your eyes drank him in, in all his post-performance glory. His sweat-dampened hair and flushed face made you subtly adjust the foot beneath you to put pressure against your core through your jeans, the sight so remarkably close to how he looked after sex that it almost made you whimper.
Namjoon’s brow furrowed slightly as he carefully listened to the conversation around him before a smile lit up his features once more, Hobi’s laughter following immediately afterwards. When Hobi wandered over to talk to Jungkook, Namjoon finally looked up at you, his dark eyes immediately finding yours without hesitation. He held your gaze for what felt like an eternity, your heart hammering so fast inside your chest you were sure he could hear it even 10 feet away, until his eyes dropped to your clothes. You noticed the slight tilt of his head as he took in your untied shirt, an eyebrow rising slightly as he looked back up to your face, a question clear in his eyes. Feeling the opportunity to play arising once more, you tipped your head to the side in response as if asking what he was looking for, the small action making him smile with a glint in his eyes as they unabashedly roved over you once more.
He turned as his name was suddenly called out, your eye contact breaking briefly before he gave you one last glance. The darkness in his eyes that vanished as soon as his attention was elsewhere made you know that look was only for you, and the thought sent a tantalising shiver through your body. He dropped into the make-up chair Jin had just vacated, Taehyung dropping into Yoongi’s just seconds later, and kept his gaze down towards his phone, his fingers already tapping away rapidly. You continued to watch him for a few seconds before realising that you were full-on staring at him and, while he was your boyfriend and you had every right to look at him as much as you wanted, it probably looked a little bit scary to other people in the room.
You settled back into the sofa once more with a sigh, diverting your attention to the other people in the room. You took these few moments to catch your breath, trying to calm your heart for the inevitable moment you would have to stand up to leave. You knew the boys weren’t stupid, but stumbling out on shaky legs would only add to the teasing they already loved to throw at you. You watched the rest of the band joke around with each other as they went through their normal post-show routines, although you couldn’t ignore that they normally would have come over to talk to you by now. The tension you’d felt building earlier was still there, a discreet undercurrent that made your shoulders tense slightly.
“Ahem.” The sound of Namjoon clearing his throat beside you made you jump, turning to see him standing over you with a hand outstretched, almost close enough to touch your cheek. You looked up to his eyes only to find them almost black as they stared back down at you. “Come with me,” he said, his voice was quiet but firm. “We need to talk.”
The sudden dryness of your mouth made it difficult to swallow as you carefully put your hand on top of his upturned palm, his fingers immediately closing over it to pull you up. As soon as you were on your feet, he turned to lead you out of the room with a determination that almost made you stumble as he pulled you along behind him.
“Joon?” You struggled to find your voice as you entered the cool corridor, the sudden change in temperature after the warmth of the lounge making you shiver. “Is everything okay?”
Silently, your boyfriend turned right and led you further away from the stage and the rest of the club. Despite his silence, the squeeze he gave to your hand reassured you that he wasn’t angry; you knew that he wouldn’t even be holding your hand right now if he was. You passed another door, your eyes just able to read ‘Maintenance’ written across it before turning around the corner, the door to the parking garage in sight at the end of the corridor. Before you could fully form the thought that Namjoon was going to drive you both home, he suddenly stopped and turned back to you, twisting his hand to link his fingers with yours.
“You sure do like to push my buttons, don’t you, princess?” If it wasn’t for Namjoon’s left hand pushing your hips back into the wall, you’re certain your knees would have given out when you heard his voice, deep and rasping as he leant to put his face against the crook of your neck. A whimper stopped short in your throat but your body didn’t let you down, flushing with heat as your back already began to arch into him. Namjoon’s body covered yours, your eyes drifting shut as his lips brushed against your neck under your ear.
“I- I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whispered back, your free hand fisting the hem of his shirt, your intertwined hands pressed up against the wall where he held them.
“No? Are you sure?” The hand on your hip drifted up slowly, pushing your shirt up along the curve of your waist as Namjoon took your earlobe between his teeth with enough pressure to send a jolt of pleasure through you. The warmth of his skin on yours made you shiver, the firm pressure of his hand making you lean your body into him. ”Do I have to remind you?” His hand left your ribs to grab the hem of your shirt, lifting the material and bunching it together just under your breasts, the cold air of the corridor hitting your skin immediately and contrasting the heat of his hand against your breastbone. “This ring any bells?” Namjoon pressed his mouth to your neck, lips parted slightly to let his warm breath heat your skin even more.
“Maybe,” you breathed out with a slight shake to your voice that you couldn’t conceal, pushing your hips forward to meet his before pulling them away again. “What about it?”
The rumble of Namjoon’s chuckle sent vibrations down your neck, his hips following yours to press against you, your slight height difference allowing him to push his hardened length right against your abdomen.
“Do you not think it’s hard enough for me to concentrate when I can see you in the crowd?” He pulled back to put his forehead against yours, eyes open and dangerously dark as they stared into yours. “Watching you in amongst all those bodies, watching people touch you while having to act like nothing’s wrong? Not able to come down and make sure everyone knows you’re mine?”” His words ghosted over your lips and he nudged your nose with his. You could feel his grip on your shirt tighten as the straps started to pull against your shoulders. “And on top of all that, you think it’s fair to do this to me?” He pushed the material up even further, dangerously close to exposing your chest entirely, your breath stuttering as you bit into your lip as your hips began to slowly roll against each other.
You could feel your blood pump faster as you squeezed his hand in yours, Namjoon answering the action in kind. You had yet to feel his lips on yours and it was driving you crazy, a small whine slipping past your lips as he moved his attention back to your neck.
“Joon…” Your voice was barely above a whisper but seemed to cut through the silence of the empty corridor, your desperation clear in your tone. You loved that no matter how much power you seemed to be able to wield in the build-up, you always ended up completely at the mercy of Namjoon. He let you play with him, let you have your fun, but he was always the one to take control in the end. He decided when to give you what you wanted from him, and you wouldn’t get it a second sooner. And he was proving that now.
“It’s bad enough that you flirt with the others to make me jealous,” he continued to murmur against your neck. “I even told them to ignore you tonight to give you a taste of your own medicine, but it seems like you can’t cope with not being the center of attention. Isn’t that right, baby?” The hand that was holding yours slipped from your grasp to instead hold you by your wrist, the edge of authority hardening his voice making your knees weak. “Seems like I need to remind you who you belong to,” he mused, teeth grazing the column of your neck before planting a kiss just above your collarbone. A sigh escaped you as you shuddered, your body held between the wall and Namjoon’s chest.
“Please.”
His eyes bore into yours, that dark playfulness that you craved glinting under the fluorescent lights. Your eyes drifted shut as Namjoon came even closer, your bodies touching in as many places as he could manage without having you wrapped around him. In the same second that you finally felt Namjoon’s lips brush against yours, their softness drawing a whimper from your mouth, a cacophony of voices, laughter and footsteps echoed down the corridor.
Your eyes shot open, panicked, but Namjoon simply grinned, seemingly in no rush to protect your modesty as the voices slowly came closer.
“Joon.” Your voice was firm, eyes rapidly going between his as your breath grew rapid from panic rather than arousal.
“I can’t wait to get you home.” He stated simply and then, with a blink, the glint in his eyes disappeared and he stood back, his hands releasing your wrist and smoothing your shirt down against your tummy once more. He placed a kiss to your forehead just as the band came round the corner, the innocent act giving you mental whiplash.
“Okay, guys, c’mon, keep it in your pants in public, please,” Hobi laughed as he walked towards you both, your back still up against the wall as Namjoon tucked your hair behind your ear with a chuckle.
“Am I not allowed to talk to my girlfriend in private without being accused of being a pervert?” he joked, his other hand tucked in his pocket to try and subtly try and adjust himself in his jeans.
“You two never ‘just talk’ in private,” Yoongi drawled without looking up from his phone as he made his way towards the parking garage, laughter rippling through the rest of the group behind him. You felt your cheeks flush, but not out of embarrassment; you were still catching your breath, the close call with being caught exciting you more than it ever had before.
You and Namjoon were left behind the band, a few members of staff waiting behind you to make sure you both made it to the car waiting for you safely. Namjoon took your hand gently this time, smiling down at you and tugging you to fall into step beside him before draping his arm across your shoulders, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
“Let’s get you home.”
#namjoon fic#kim namjoon fic#namjoon x reader#namjoon x you#namjoon x y/n#namjoon smut#bts smut#bts fic#bts fanfic#burning up#fire#smut#fwlbingo#ficswithluv#bts namjoon#bts fire#bts burning up#namjoon fanfiction#bts fanfiction#established relationship
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I literally cannot do anything else until I get this out.
I’m... really not okay.
And when I say that, I’m not mentally unstable. I say that because I’m tired of waiting on empty promises, I’m tired of never having money in our account, I’m tired of living in a fucking city where half of the white people fucking worship the ground Trump walks on, and where most of the gay community has so much messy drama that it’s worse than middle school. And I went to a rough middle school.
I never talk about my past, because I don’t like to. It sucked. HARD. Being and only child in my family was nothing less than torture, especially as a closeted queer person. We grew up in the white Christian part of Nashville that dominated Music Row in the 90′s and early 2000′s. I played basketball with Alan Jackson’s daughter, and being around famous people was just no big deal. But, my parents decided to leave Nashville after my dad lost his job at TPAC, and we moved down south an hour to the town where the KKK got started (Pulaski, TN).
I had maybe two non-white people in my private Christian school growing up. I was never afraid of Black people, but my parents showed their racist asses quick when we moved there. The KKK has never left America, guys, no matter how many articles you read or studies you do. From 2005 to 2009 I saw a white town show its very worst to the Black community. I’ll never forget the first time I saw a march for “White Christians for Purity” the summer before Obama got elected. The disgust I felt inside was palpable. I had all kinds of friends in school, and I didn’t give TWO SHITS who they were or what they looked like... but I saw children my age, being brainwashed by their parents, that “white” is “right.”
Ever since then, I have been learning and growing about the issues of race. I remember my white classmates using the N word and getting away with it. I remember hearing about the principal at the high school punishing all the Black kids but not the white kids. I remember being invited to a church south of town that was a historically Black church, and how nice the ladies were to me for coming.
But I’ll never forget the racism that the religious groups promoted there, especially First Baptist Church and the 12 Tribes. I’ll never forget how FBC told me that my friend was going to Hell because she killed herself. I’ll never forget my mom telling me not to marry a Black man because of “impure genes.” I WILL NEVER FORGET THE INJUSTICES I SAW WHITE PEOPLE DOING TO BLACK PEOPLE THERE. NEVER.
And thank God, I have shaken the burden of religious guilt, but I still fight against this mentality. I live in a place that’s usually not even 10 minutes away from Trump-humping, sister-fucking, meth-addicted Confederate cunts in any direction. And we’re even closer to the rich white people who silently supported him, upset that their taxes would go up because of Biden.
And in the past four years since Trump got elected, I’ve gotten married, graduated college with honors, started my own photography business, and was making more than my husband there for a minute. I did my own taxes, marketing, editing, and everything. And then I came out as trans.
I lost everything.
I lost my studio. I lost friends. I had rumors started about me. I had people post hate messages on my wall. I had people at my drag shows tell others not to tip me, for whatever fucking reasons. I’ve had bosses give cis people jobs over me, and I’ve had government workers give me second looks when I hand them my license.
It. Fucking. Sucks. To. Live. Here. Like. This.
Oh yeah, did I mention I’m also a witch/medium? I’ve talked to dead people before and have told their relatives things I shouldn’t have known otherwise about their grandparents. Like, this information doesn’t even exist on Google. And I’m attuned to reiki. I’m always aware of what’s happening on at least SOME metaphysical level. This is a gift that I’ve had to go through life developing and learning about myself, with no one’s help but me.
I didn’t even know until I was an adult that I have autism and ADHD.
I’ve taken bullets from people who were about to kill themselves. I’ve yelled at 5th grade music classrooms for doing racist dance moves and appropriating Native Americans (I have a degree in Music Education K-12). I’ve consoled kids in classrooms who suddenly have panic attacks. AND I’ve told horny teenagers to stay in their fucking lane and respect the girls around them. I’ve apparently been an inspiration to those around me, but inspiration NOR exposure pays the bills. I’ve already had COVID, and so has my husband, but I knew that after graduating college that I would never have a fulfilling life being a music teacher in Tennessee’s public schools.
And now that we have COVID, and an orange, small-dicked, pedophilic, rape apologizing, dirty, crusty white president who STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, who is DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HAVING HIS FOLLOWERS SEND DEATH THREATS TO MY FAMILY, I really don’t know what the fuck else to do other than go burn down all the houses I know of in North Georgia that belong to these Christian sex cult pedophiles and call it a day. My girlfriend unfortunately was born into one of those families, and I know just how bad it can get. In fact, her dad’s lawyer threatened me with blackmail earlier in November, so that was fun!
And now, on December 11, 2020, I’m still sitting here in the same fucking house, doing the same fucking things I’ve been doing all year - trying to get a job and failing horribly. I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS COVID BULLSHIT AND OUR INCOMPOTENT CUNT OF A PRESIDENT! And there’s only ever one other person I’ve ever called a cunt... my own mother.
I’ve lived in many places. I’ve met many different people. I’ve made mistakes, and have grown, but there’s one thing for damn sure that I always make sure to do, every single fucking day.
I ALWAYS try to do better.
In addition to this, I treat everyone with the same amount of respect, unless they have done something directly to me to negate that. If I know that someone believes in something that directly harms me or my family, I don’t even associate with them. I don’t spend my energy on things that don’t need it. And everyone else should, too.
The problem with some of y’all is that you care about the wrong things. Like will Becky text me back or did I get front row seats to that concert, or did I slave my life away to capitalism just so that I can own a Mercedes and have my friends jealous. I’ve had way too many dear death experiences to know that EVERY single fucking day is a gift. EVERY day.
I don’t want to be remembered first for the art I create. I want to be remembered for my character. I want to be remembered as the courageous person who never backed down in the face of adversity. But when you live in a place that already hates you and that is against you, that’s really fucking hard. Trust me. My marriage went from a cis straight passing couple to a white gay passing couple. I’ve seen how people’s attitudes changed around me as I transitioned. I know what it feels like to slowly lose a piece of your privilege you were born with.
So yeah, I kinda get a little fucking upset when I see people saying All Lives Matter, or when I see doctors refusing to treat trans patients in pandemics, or when I see cops YET AGAIN harassing Black people only a few blocks away from my house for no other reason than racism. And at this point, anyone who thinks they know me but only knows what people think they know about me can suck my entire ass and eat ten dicks. I don’t give a FUCK about who you are or what you’ve done. If you treat me or other people with no respect for no reason other than to be an asshole, you’re just plain shit. If you SERIOUSLY believe every little rumor and lie that someone tells about me before meeting me, fuck you AND the horse you rode in on.
What I can’t stand is people doing or saying things just to get a rise out of me or others. I thought we left petty shit in high school. Some of the people that “know” me really need to fucking grow up and grow a pair and either say what they want to my face, or stay mad. I’m tired of playing fucking petty games with y’all. We have a whole ass pandemic to solve.
So here’s the ultimatum... if you agree that Black Lives Matter and that queer people deserve basic human rights, EVEN THE ONES YOU HATE, then that’s the bare minimum to even be a decent person. If you can’t even do those things, then I don’t fucking know what else to say to you.
So NBC, maybe not have John Mulaney joke about my license debacle with my gold van on SNL, and Seth Meyers... maybe HIRE ME INSTEAD of Mulaney because clearly y’all don’t know about the south as much as I do? Oh, and that gazeebo joke with Lee University... I caught that. I may have autism, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I mean. I’m funny when I’m given the chance. And yeah, I’m on a watchlist, but who the fuck isn’t these days? At least all my secrets are out for the world to see, and I have a bangin’ tattoo.
I’m tired of everyone being like “omg, I’ve seen what he can do, it’s fantastic!” or “omg you’re so funny haha” and bragging on me and then NOT FUCKING HIRING ME. I’m TIRED of waiting on something that’s clearly at this point never coming.
I don’t even have testicles, and my balls are bigger than most of the cis men I have EVER met.
So, if you want to help me, or hire me, or get me out to an audition... I’ll be there. But until then, I’m so fucking MAD at some of these producers. Yeah, my mom is a cunt, but she worked in various forms of digital production from the 1980′s until she retired this year. She taught me SO MUCH about directing, writing, shooting, and more. I know how these things are supposed to run behind the scenes. I know what the fuck I’m doing, and I don’t take constructive criticism like a bitch. I actually WANT to be criticized, so I can do even better.
So PLEASE, for the love of Christ... y’all need to get your priorities together AND PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME OUT OF THE LOOP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. Grow a fucking pair and either call me, email me, or leave me alone. It’s really not that fucking hard. Looking at you, Lorne Michaels.
Oh and someone tell my husband what the fuck’s been going on because I’m tired of him gaslighting me about it.
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Choir Music Recs!
As promised, here is my list of choir songs that I recommend to everyone, not just choir folks. It’s definitely highly biased to my personal taste and experience (so much so that I’m organizing it by school year!) so this list is just a tiny fraction of the amazing choir music out there that you can find and listen to on youtube or elsewhere but it’s a good place to start at least!
I’ll be linking one or more recordings that are online free for each song and I’ll also include a little personal blurb with each rec because why not (but feel free to skip those and just listen to the music - I won’t be offended)!
Now, without further ado, here’s the list!!
Freshman year:
There Will Come Soft Rains by Kevin Memley
And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn, would scarcely know that we were gone.
I’m a little short on recs for freshman year since I was in Select Women’s Choir rather than Chorale but I couldn’t make this list without including this song. This was the first of three pieces I sang in high school that’s an arrangement of a Sara Teasdale poem. Without this, I might not even know about one of my favorite poets! And the music is so beautiful that there’s no better introduction to Sara Teasdale. Fun Fact! I had a “solo note” in this song because all the other Soprano 1′s were afraid to sing a high A (cowards).
Sophomore year:
Jenny by Ryan Kerr and Nick Myers
In the darkness, in the starlight, I hear angels sing your name as they bear you through the heavens to the light from which you came. Quietly the strain falls out of tune. Shadows steal across a lonely moon. I miss you so.
This song was and is of such massive importance to me that I don’t think I could possibly overstate my love for it. The lyrics and arrangement are so gorgeous that Chorale just sort of melted together as we sang it. And we cried. There was a lot of crying. The recording I’m going to link is from one of my high school’s concerts last year because some seniors (who sang this with me when they were freshmen) wanted to sing it one last time and got a small group together to do so. There are possibly “better” recordings out there, but I could never listen to one that isn’t from my school because I know how much love it was sang with there. (Not pictured in the video: me, in the front row at the concert, quietly singing along to the Soprano 1 part.)
My Soul’s Been Anchored in the Lord by Moses Hogan
Do you love him? (Oh yes!) Do you love him? (Hallelujah!) Do you love him? (Oh yes!) God almighty! (Are you anchored?) Are you anchored? (Oh yes!) YES I’m anchored my soul’s been anchored in the Lord!
There are no lyrics I could possibly include that could hope to get across how truly incredible this song is so my advice is to just have a listen - you will not regret it! This was essentially Chorale’s anthem sophomore year; we seriously loved singing this because it was just SO fun! All I regret about high school choir is that we didn’t sing more from Moses Hogan because holy moly are his arrangements amazing!
Sleep by Eric Whitacre
Upon my pillow safe in bed, a thousand pictures fill my head. I cannot sleep my mind’s a’flight and yet my limbs seem made of lead. If there are noises in the night, a frightening shadow, flickering light, then I surrender unto sleep where clouds of dream give second sight.
This is the piece that got little fifteen year-old me to raise my hand during rehearsal and and say “I think this song might be about death” to which my choir director replied something along the lines of “no shit” (but in a nice way because she’s not a mean person lol). This is one of the most beautiful choir songs I’ve ever heard and the quintessential Eric Whitacre piece full of “big smushy chords” and dissonance. If you don’t listen to anything else on this list, listen to this one. Also! the recording I’m linking here is from Voces8 which is a group I highly recommend checking out in general.
Junior year:
I Should Be Glad by Susan LaBarr
I should be glad of loneliness And hours that go on broken wings, A thirsty body, a tired heart And the unchanging ache of things, If I could make a single song As lovely and as full of light, As hushed and brief as a falling star On a winter night.
This is an arrangement of my favorite Sara Teasdale poem, “Compensation,” which I have included the full text of above. When I sang this piece, I, and most of my Choralemates as well, I believe, misconstrued the text to mean “I ought to be glad” rather than its actual meaning, “I would be glad (if...)” which drastically altered our interpretation and made us dislike it quite a bit. Since getting into Teasdale’s work though, I revisited the poem and realized our error. With my reading now correct, I appreciate this arrangement a lot more and I wish I had understood it at the time because it truly is a beautiful work in all ways.
Rytmus by Ivan Hrusovsky
(uhhhh just listen to it lol)
Here’s a fun one! We definitely struggled to get our tempo up on this one because of how challenging the music was to learn but it’s quite the thing to listen to a choir that gets it right.
Only in Sleep by Ēriks Ešenvalds
Only in sleep Time is forgotten— What may have come to them, who can know?
Another Sara Teasdale poem! This one probably made the largest impression on me because Chorale ended up singing it at a funeral so it carried some heavy emotions for us. Another piece that is beautiful in every way.
No Time by Susan Brumfield
Rise, oh fathers rise, let’s go meet ’em in the skies. We will hear the angels singing in that morning. Oh I really do believe that, just before the end of time, we will hear the angels singing in that morning.
I almost gave up on looking for a good recording of this piece on youtube, not because there aren’t a lot to choose from by talented choirs, but because I think there’s a certain amount of awe one has to convey to sing this piece correctly. I sang it with Quartet to open our Spring Concert (which had been transformed into a memorial concert for a beloved teacher who had passed suddenly and also moved from our school to a massive theatre downtown, so you can imagine the kind of pressure we were under). Needless to say, we were terrified, but this piece is also terrifying so it sort of fit and we sang it well. (Note for the video: this choir is absolutely incredible but the person recording goes a bit nuts with the zoom function of their camera so maybe don’t look at the screen as you listen!)
The Storm is Passing Over by Charles Tindley and Barbara Baker
Have courage my soul and let us journey on, though the night is dark and I am far from home. Thanks be to God, the morning light appears.
The sister song to ‘No Time’ at the previously mentioned concert! This was my favorite piece I ever did with Quartet and we often randomly broke into it during rehearsals the next year because we loved it so much. I spoke up about this song during a Quaker meeting I attended at some point because I had an epiphany about the lyrics and it felt like the right thing to do in the moment. Afterwards people told me what I said was good but I think they were just being nice. (Notes: the song begins about one minute into the video I linked and also, check out the full original lyrics by Charles Tindley here - they’re incredible!)
This Marriage by Eric Whitacre
May this marriage be a sign of compassion, a seal of happiness, here and hereafter.
This song is just gorgeous. It’s relatively low-key for an Eric Whitacre piece but its understatedness highlights the beauty of the arrangement. I don’t have to tell you that Rumi was an amazing poet but also I love how the end of this piece just descends into joyful singing without words. When one is out of words to speak, then one must sing.
Loch Lomond by Jonathan Quick
Oh! Ye’ll take the high road, and I’ll take the low road, And I’ll be in Scotland afore ye, But me and my true love will never meet again, On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomond.
I’m cheating a bit by including this on the list because I did not personally sing this piece. However, five guys who were in Chorale decided to form a small group and sing this song at both the memorial concert and the funeral so, having heard them sing it a handful of times in such emotional settings, it was special to me as well. (Note for the video: the intro is very goofy and the actual song begins at 1:10 so skip to that! It’s truly a fantastic performance and it sounds very like what my Choralemates did since it’s a quartet.)
Senior year:
Will the Circle Be Unbroken by J. David Moore
I was born down (I was born down) in the valley (in the valley) where the sun refuse to shine (where the sun refuse to shine) but I’m climbing (but I’m climbing) up to the highlands (up to the highlands). Gonna make that mountain mine!
This song was taught to us and directed by our student teacher from the local university. A lot of our student teachers in past years had been awkward and too nervous to truly engage with us but she was the best we ever had. This song was unifying for us and always a delight to sing. The recording I’m linking is from a concert at my school the year after I graduated where they reprised the song and it’s as wonderful as ever.
The Wisdom of the Moon by Susan LaBarr
in the dark of night, let me learn the wisdom of the moon. How it waxes and wanes but does not die, how it gives itself to shadow knowing it will return whole once more.
This was the song that I had the largest and most extensive solo in throughout my entire high school choir experience so it made quite the impression on me. And beyond that, the poem that forms the lyrics is so beautiful. Sometimes I’ll just be minding my business and suddenly think “(God of the two lights) I love the sun” and suddenly I’m singing the whole song to myself. There’s actually a recording of Chorale singing this song with me as the soloist so I’m going to link that version (although there are other wonderful versions out there as well that I encourage you to check out!). Credits to my friend Giovani for the first solo, mine is the second, descant-y one!
Hold On! by Moses Hogan
Nora, Nora let me come in; / de door’s all fastened an’ de winders pinned!
Just keep yo’ hand on de plow, / an’ you hold on, yes, you just hold on!
Nora said, “You lost yo’ track, / you can’t plow straight an’ keep a lookin’ back.”
At least we did one other Moses Hogan song while I was in Chorale and this one did NOT disappoint! It’s one of my all-time favorite choir pieces to this day. Further, it caused me to look into the parable being referenced here which led me to this wonderful article that I will never miss an opportunity to plug even though I’m not personally religious! The other day when I decided (for some unknown reason) to clamber up a steep rock face rather than just walking up an easily-accessible path, I got nervous halfway up but was too afraid to try to climb back down so, without even thinking about it, my brain supplied me with the beginning of this song and before I knew it, I was quietly singing to myself “keep on climbin’ an’ don’t you tire, ‘cause ev’ry rung goes higher and higher!” and I made it safely to the top.
Ubi Caritas by Ola Gjeilo
(it’s in Latin lol)
Not a whole lot to say here other than that no choir recs list is complete without Ola Gjeilo and this piece is beautiful and haunting.
Unclouded Day by Shawn Kirchner
Oh, they tell me of a home far beyond the skies, they tell me of a home far away, and they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise, oh, they tell me of an unclouded day.
One of my favorite pieces that I ever did with Chorale, even out of these. It’s so beautiful and uplifting and I think of it every time I step outside and the sky is perfectly blue. Another song that truly just has to be heard to be believed. The recording I’m linking is of the NDSU Concert Choir which has so much amazing choral content on its youtube channel and I highly recommend you check them out further!
I Will Lift Mine Eyes by Jake Runestad
The sun shall not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all evil, He will keep your soul.
Honestly, I’ve blocked out many memories of high school because it was such a truly awful time in my life, so when an old Choralemate of mine posted on her instagram story about how the time when Chorale sat down before singing this song and talked about our emotions and what this text meant to us, I was heartbroken that I didn’t remember it. What I do remember though is that, at our concert, an alumni who had graduated the previous year and had been through a lot of awful stuff sat in the front row and mouthed the words along with us while crying and we all cried while singing it. There was a connection we all made through this piece and, although things were pretty awful a lot of the time, we got through it together and that means a lot to me.
//
Now that the main list is done, here are some pieces I didn’t personally sing but I still love a lot and recommend wholeheartedly:
- I Can Tell the World by Moses Hogan
- Bright Morning Stars by Jay Althouse + bonus link of another version
- Lux Aurumque by Eric Whitacre
- Earth Song by Frank Ticheli
- Famine Song by Matthew Culloton
- The Seal Lullaby by Eric Whitacre
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🌙 tiffany’s magnetic moon tour fanaccount🌙
So, we got to the venue at around 1pm but only did a little drive-by to see if there was anyone already in line. There was no one, and my sister and I didn’t really want to be the ones to “start” the line, for fear of being kicked out by the venue staff. We instead just walked to a nearby café to have lunch and wait to see if more people showed up.
After a couple of hours, we walked to the venue again and there was still no one there, so we walked around the block again, and when we got back to the venue there were 3 people “in line”/waiting around by the entryway, so we decided to just wait with them. This made me 4th in line for the entire event. This guaranteed that I was going to be not only at the front row, but also in the center. At this point it was 3pm, and the VIP meet and greet thing was supposed to start at around 5:45 so it felt like a good time to be in line.
We stood in line, cold and nervous, but mostly just excited. I had replayed in my head over and over what I was going to say to her when I met her, but nothing sounded quite right. I’d seen from other people on twitter that they’d gotten hugs from her, and had time to say quite a few things, so I prepared myself for a similar experience. At around 6:20 (much later than the scheduled time for the VIP entry) staff finally called the VIPs and we all went through security. It was finally time to meet Tiffany herself
I gave the letter I wrote to her to her staff to give later. We were told meetings had to be done in groups of 5 or 6, so my sister, mom and I were in a group with the 3 people in line in front of us. When we walked in, Tiffany was seated on a bench by herself and her staff directed us to take a seat on the bench, 3 people on each side, and that they would take 2 photos and that was it.
I wasn’t really listening to anything anyone was saying though because the sight of Tiffany left me in shock. She was so tiny, and so PERFECT. How a human could have skin THAT clear and smooth, and a smile that shining…it was unbelievable. The 3 people in front of me obviously got the seats next to Tiffany, so I didn’t get to see her as closely nor did I get to directly interact with her during this VERY quick little “meet and greet.” She directed us (in her typical Manager Hwang way) on how to do the poses; first we did the “magnetic moon” pose which was just making a crescent moon by making your hand a “C” and placing it over your eye. The second pose we did finger hearts. My hands were shaking and my heart was racing the entire time.
Afterwards staff promptly directed us to leave and head for the main stage area now, but the two fangirls in our group stopped to ask Tiffany for a hug. They both got a hug and Ruby and I just awkwardly watched and walked very slowly in the direction staff was trying to get everyone to go. It was clear staff didn’t want anyone getting hugs or any special one on one time with Tiffany, it was just supposed to be a sit, get your picture taken and go sort of thing. I didn’t want to leave without telling Tiffany SOMETHING so I said “You look so beautiful Tiffany” on my way out and she looked at me and gave me that cute puppy dog look of hers where she furrows her brows (y’all know the one) and blew me a kiss with her hands in the sweetest way. My night was made with that alone. I didn’t get a hug but I was the first fan to tell her that she looked beautiful that night.
After that we all scurried to the barricade to get our spot for the show and, of course, I was front row right in the center. We considered going to buy merch before the crowd inside got bigger, but decided against it for fear of losing our spot in the pit. From then on out it was just time to wait for the show itself to begin. That moment when the lights go off and you know that means she’s about to step on stage, and the music starts up and the stage lights start swirling? Nothing will ever beat that feeling. It’s the best high there is. The curtain opened up and Tiffany stepped out. My heart literally stopped. Tiffany…was wearing…the tiniest tightest little red dress of all time. Ruby and I had discussed what she might wear for our show, since she’d been wearing something different each time so far. Never in my life did I imagine she’d decide to wear the ACTUAL SEXIEST OUTFIT OF ALL TIME for US. That TEENY TINY DRESS, hugging her curves in all the right places, paired with the black fishnet stockings and black boots, holy FUCK she came out to kill each and every one of us. My lesbian ass was DYING. No offense to anyone else who sees her at any of her other stops but, that outfit will never be topped. With her long black hair in those sultry loose waves, too? Iconic.
RFYL was her opening song, and what an opening THAT was. I remember screaming to Ruby next to me, “her SKIN????!!!!” because it was absolutely mind-blowing how smooth and flawless her skin looked? Like literal actual porcelain. And then how tiny she is in real life?????? I know her profile says she’s like 5’4 or something but she’s 5’1 MAX. She’s TINY. And sooooo thin, but so RIDICULOUSLY beautiful. I couldn’t even focus on the music initially, I was still too mesmerized by her physical presence, and how absolute IN LOVE with her I am. After RFYL she did Over My Skin which…singing that song, with those lyrics, with the sexiest choreography in THAT dress…just fuck me up Tiffany Hwang. What a win for the lesbians tonight, I swear :’) I recorded fancams of every song, and took a few little breaks to take pictures so I’ll post those after I post this.
Heartbreak Hotel was next, and I was so glad she did perform some of her older Korean songs too. God, her voice though. She’s SO good live. The notes she was hitting, those runs she was belting? Legendary. I was scream singing along with her the whole show (my voice is gone now). She kept telling us to dance and seemed to give more fanservice to fans who were singing along and dancing too, so I made sure to…well, be myself I guess. I’ve never been the kind of fan who stays seated during a concert or just goes to “listen.”
One of my favorite things to do is blast kpop and dance around the house when I’m home alone, and one of the things she said during one of her talks in the show was that she wanted to see THAT kind of energy. A judgement free zone, so even though I didn’t hear anyone behind me scream singing or feel anyone near me dancing (the dude next to me was quiet and stiff as a board the entire time), that didn’t stop me and when Tiffany looked over at me (which she did A LOT), she’d get that BIG smile on her face, with her signature eye smile, and I’d MELT. It made her so happy to see us having fun along with her. Seeing Tiffany have fun playing around with us, nothing feels better. We made her smile, I made her smile, and you really can’t beat that feeling.
So during the next song which was Talk, one of my all-time favorites of hers, she saw me signing my heart out at her and knelt down to sing to me and we just had this sweet perfect little moment where we were singing to each other and I just????? I have no words. Love. All I felt was love. Pure and simple. That’s my love up there, signing her heart out and I’m so proud of her. I’ll gif that moment but I swear, it was the most intimate and significant moment of my life. And it had to happen during my favorite song of course :’) I’m going to cry every time I listen to Talk now :’( She looked at me an absurd amount of times during the show; I can’t even count them all. But she came and sang to me again during Runaway, and it was again…INCREDIBLY intimate and sweet and magical and felt so special. I’ll probably notice even more little eye contact moments from here when I go through all my fancams, but for now those were the two most significant moments.
My overall feeling now after replaying it all is…Tiffany is unquestionably one of the greatest artists of our generation. More than just her being one of the best vocalists (that husky soulful voice of hers remains unmatched), she’s pushed herself in so many ways and it’s been so amazing to witness? She was teased about being an “awkward” dancer, so she came out with “I Just Wanna Dance” and proved everyone that she could be a fucking great dancer. She’s a perfectionist, she’s her own worst critic, but she’s never given up. God, I fucking admire the fuck out of her for that. She’s never stopped; she’s never given up, she’s kept her head up, kept smiling through all the bullshit she’s gone through because at the end of the day singing and performing is her entire life.
I’ve never seen anyone as passionate about singing and performing as she is. When she’s on stage you KNOW that this is the whole reason she was put on this earth. There was never any other option for her, and that’s why she left home at 15 and moved to Korea, without the support of her family, not knowing anyone and not speaking fluent Korean. She went with the fiercest determination, the biggest dream, and an unstoppable spirit. She was going to sing, that was all that mattered to her. Training day and night, being under the nightmare of the Korean music industry, she was willing to tough it all out just for a chance to be on that stage, to share her voice, and eventually to share her own original music for people.
And now she’s 30, doing her first NA tour. Baby Hwang Miyoung’s dream of inspiring the lives of millions has long since come true. The collective feeling of warmth and comfort we all felt when she sang The Flower was so serene and so breathtaking. Some of her songs make you feel like you’re being held in a comforting embrace. Others make you feel like you can conquer the world, some make you feel stronger than you are, and some make you feel the butterflies of a first love. I can’t wait to see what else she comes up with in the years to come, and I can’t wait for the next fucking tour!!!!!!
And, to quote something I wrote about her over 5 years ago that holds truer now than ever, “Tiffany is an actual angel that came down from above to spread love and warmth and happiness and inspire us all to be the best that we can be and to never stop dreaming and fighting for what we want. basically, Tiffany is the epitome of all that is good in this world. Tiffany is a blessing to this earth. she encompasses everything good, everything positive, every good feeling, she just…she lives it. in everything that she does, she works hard, she never stops smiling, she never stops being who she is and finding a reason to keep going. she’s the most determined and the most driven and the most optimistic, and that inspires the fuck out of me. i just…i can’t believe someone as amazing as her exists in this mess of a world. she’s a reminder that there is good in this world, there is still beauty and love and laughter and light.”
That’s what Tiffany is to me.
#personal#I’m listening to Magnetic Moon and sobbing. That song is The Best Song of All Time probably.#tiffany feels
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Japan Expo Malaysia Day 1 (26 July 2019)
Okay, it’s the first day for one of the biggest Japanese events in Malaysia, I originally came here only to attend AKB48’s concert, because my Oshimen, Okada Nana (Naachan) was one of the members who were coming. Since I live in a nearby country, so it was possible for me to come (with my parents) not to mention the ticket prices were considerably cheap. So I was a bit bummed that my mother might not let me go alone to attend the concert, but thankfully from the first day my parents seemed to feel comfortable and confident to let me go to the venue (Kuala Lumpur Pavilion) since it is located near to our hotel (Capitol Hotel). So in the morning I arrived at Pavilion at 11 am and killed some time at Daiso at the top floor and got a sweet black hat with golden Apple logo (if you know me, you’d know why I had a compulsion to buy this hehe). When I came downstairs, they were just opening the expo and the very first performance, a Kyodo (archery) performance was starting and I took the time to rest at the Coffee Bean next to the stage. Afterwards, the first idol group to perform was called KiREI. Now, I’ve never heard of this group before this expo and I didn’t bother checking on them. But we were told that KiREI is a group made up of 3 disbanded idol groups in Tokyo. Their theme is to "Make Everything Beautiful" not just their inner but outer appearances. One of the hosts (Aki) kept telling us audience that they were super cute and I challengingly said, “Sway my heart babe”. So the girls came in; Tanaka Hana, Konatsu Mia and Miyadera Miho. Sure they were cute and beautiful (which idol isn’t, am I right?)
(From the left; Hanapii, Mianyan and Chori-chan)
Nevertheless, I took the chance to take pictures of them with my Nikon camera. I was standing at one side of the stage and since there were some empty seats it was quite easy access for me to take pictures of them. But what I did NOT expect was when one of the members, Hana (nicknamed Hanapii) actually made an eye contact with me and WINKED. My heart MELTED (jokes on me; my heart wasn’t just swayed lololol). Maybe I’m a sucker because this was my very first time attending an idol concert, but gosh darn it I just fell for her on the spot. Aside from that coincidental moment, I realized her face is totally my type among the 3 of them, not to mention she’s also pretty tall (well I’m super short so for some people she could be a medium height). Side note: during their performance the wotage group was doing the Overture chant and I joined them from far away (lol) and it was actually a bit awkward since it seemed like I was the only female who was chanting passionately. Also, another side note, there was this adorable old man who was a huge fan of Harupiii (another idol that performed after KiREI) but I think he’s a fan of idols in general cuz he was also singing along to KiREI’s songs. Back on track, after getting wink attack-ed by Hanapii I was so moved that I paid 150% attention on them. And while I was snapping pics at every second and taking vids, what do you know? She saw me again and made an eye contact again! I realized that she was THE ONE in this group. She’s my KiREI Oshimen.
(Yeah baby!)
Time flew really fast and before I knew it, their slot time was over (most of the idol performances had only 30 to 45 minutes time slot) but thankfully they were having another performance outdoor in the afternoon so I was sure I’d attend it. After KiREI was Harupiii (who is an idol who has performed in this event for 3 years).
Harupiii definitely looked younger than the KiREI members but you know what, that didn’t stop me from staying and watched her performance till the end. What I like about Harupiii is that despite being quite small, looked young, she definitely slayed the performance and I was hooked with her. All the more when she saw me, and finger gunned me (OOF!!) Another hit right on the heart! What’s with these idols making me fall faster than flies lololol!
The wota guys were more hyped this time and so was I and the old man fan ran to the wotage guys and started to enthusiastically chant for her. And you know what, I find it adorable. Especially when one of the guys was carried on other men’s shoulders to the front. I really really like their enthusiasm and I can see why wota life is pretty exciting. I just wished that the awkward atmosphere wasn’t lingering, but YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW IT, LET’S HAVE FUN!
After the end of Harupiii’s performance I was exhausted so I went back to my parents at Coffee Bean. They told me to get an autograph and picture from KiREI’s members you gotta buy some merch (I mean, that’s how their business works so I knew the procedure). At first I wasn’t sure to go or not but my mother was being encouraging and persuasive made me go for it, and you know what, GG mum! You made the right decision for me! It was worth spending RM80 ($14) to get 2 Cheki tickets (one for autograph and handshake, and another for polaroid photos). I was legit happy since this was my very first time attending a meet-and-greet event with a Japanese idol, and while I used to do translations and subs for some AKB48 stuff, I’m not that confident with my Japanese speaking skills but Hanapii made it so much easier and fun. Albeit she knew limited English, but we managed to communicate successfully. As for the poses I thought we were gonna do the usual heart poses like the guys in front of me did with other members. Well we did just that, but since I bought two tickets so I got to take two photos, and I did not expect that she hugged me (well more like she reached her arms out towards me and leaned in, but close enough, man!) The conversation continued as she was signing the polaroid frames (side note: she asked for the alphabets for my name which was pretty funny considering how easy the pronunciation is, even in Japanese) but at the same time it’s nice how considerate she was. So she asked me if I was a Malaysian and I told her no, I’m a Bruneian which impressed her and I told her that it’s because of this event that I flew over which impressed her even more (I really like how idols tend to give cute reactions when they’re impressed). Then she complimented me for my Japanese and naturally I was like “No no no~ I need to study more” and she was like “Ganbatte~!”. AH SO CUTE! She then asked if I liked idols. If only she knew. But I just told her, “Yes, I love idols”. As much as I loved talking to her I didn’t want to take too long since there was a long line behind me so I told her I was leaving and she was like “We’re gonna perform again outside!” and I responded with an enthusiastic nod, “I will DEFINITELY come!” I was legit happy to the point of shaky hands and happy tears when I came back to our table (Extra note: mum took some pics and video when I was lining up for the merch).
(Polaroid photo with Hanapii! I’m too ugly so I blocked my face lololol)
My parents wanted to go elsewhere, but I told them I was gonna stay there for more performances. So I was finally left on my own (WHOOOOO!). While waiting for KiREI’s next performance I decided to take the time to post things in my social media, and also look for KiREI’s and Hanapii’s Twitter accounts. I love that when I shared my experience with my Discord friends, they were so supportive and happy for me (I love y’all!).
So for the afternoon performance at the outdoor stage I was surprised that 15 minutes before it began the space was rather empty except by shoppers and a handful of fans so I was like shimmying my way to the front because once again, I was self-conscious for being like the only enthusiastic female fan (was I already considered a fan?). There were even some guys nearby who I could hear talking about me, saying, “Look, she’s waiting there, how cute”. It wasn’t anything negative per say, but it just made me more self-conscious lol. So about 10 minutes before starting and the girls were seen strutting towards the backstage and I find it funny yet adorable that they didn’t need some security to cover them. I guess this shows how chill the audience here is. I mean, Mianyan jogged past me and brushed my shoulder a bit, but I just acted chill. I know why one can get excited when their favorite celebrity is around, but for goodness sake some crazy fans need to chill.
Since no one was really taking the front row (this time it was an outdoor stage so there were no seats), I just slipped my way to the left side of the stage. A few more minutes till starting and the girls made their way next to the stage and it’s adorable I could see them doing the chanting thing, where they go “Ganbatte, ikuzo! Ohh~” I was already in my wota mode so I managed to take pictures of them doing that.
Before I attended this concert, I didn’t know why people would kill their money to get front rows, but now I can see why! The reason why I know now is because as I watched their performance right in front, the eye contacts you get from the artists are more direct and you feel like you made more intimate and personal connections with them. I KNOW THIS BECAUSE HANAPII MADE SEVERAL EYE CONTACTS WITH ME THAT I FELT SO OVERWHELMED I HAD TO LOOK AWAY (not all the time). Okay this may sound pretentious, but I honestly think when Hanapii saw me her smile doubled the radiance cuz I could see her smile reaching her eyes during those times. I tried to take pictures and videos of all three girls but you can really tell my bias for Hanapii was evident from the pictures I’m sharing here lololol.
(KiREI performing)
(Chori-chan at the back is literally me on the inside lol)
More, more fun things happened when I went to take pictures with Hanapii for the second time. This time it seemed Mianyan and Chori-chan were familiar with me and they kept looking at me as I interacted with Hanapii. She remembered me so she was like “Ahh~ Nura-chan~ welcome back” and I swear my heart was pierced by that and I just covered my face out of embarrassment and said, “I’m back”, then she responded with the heart throbbing line, “Eh~ I’m so happy! I love you!” which naturally made me embarrassed and hid my face again and she was like “Nande, nande?” GURL YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MUCH POWER YOU HAVE OVER ME EVEN THOUGH I’VE ONLY KNOWN ABOUT YOU FOR 3 HOURS! So we did new poses and while she signed the polaroid frames she started chatting with me like “Where are you staying” and so I told her I was staying at a nearby hotel and she was like “Ah me too! I stay in a hotel” Ah of course you do sweetheart, so cute. And I jokingly asked, “Which hotel?” And she responded, “We’re not supposed to say yet.” AHAHAHA SO CUTE. Then she told me she saw me taking so many pictures (well I did stand at the first row so heheh). I complimented everyone and naturally they thanked me (Ahhh Mianyan and Chori-chan were so cute too). After that I made a mistake to look at Hanapii in the eyes and once again hid my face, but to make things worse (or better) they were all like “Kawaii~~~” GAH THESE GIRLS I SWEAR. And she also patted my head while doing so. I. Was. Dead. So after that she apologized for being sweaty and I was like “No, no, you’re still very cute.” And believe me when I said that she gave this blinding smile and I thought, “Welp, she got me in the palm of her hands.” Once again she apologized for sweating so much and started to talk about the heat. Being the concerned fan that I was, I asked her, “Are you okay? Y’know, with this crazy heat?” I could tell she was trying to ease my worries and said “Yeah! I’m okay, I got used to it.” Once again, I didn’t want to take too much time, so I proceeded to leave but before leaving I told her that I was coming again the next day, to which she thanked me for and said she’ll look forward to it. As I was leaving (while clutching on my new polaroid pictures) I looked at all three girls and said “Ganbatte~” and they all cutely waved while saying their thanks.
(More pics with Hanapi hehehehehe)
Since I was sweating bullets (curse the heat and black clothes lol) so I went back inside for the AC and sat on the stairs leading towards the center stage. What was going on was an AirAsia dance performance by their staff. I gotta say for non-dancers, they did pretty good, especially with the fact they danced in their working uniforms! Then I looked around the shopping mall in search of my parents, only to find out they were elsewhere. So I decided to stay a bit longer. While doing that, a boy band called cosmic!! was performing and for goodness sake were the boys CUTE! Okay, I may be biased, but I really prefer J-pop male idols over K-pop male idols because I can actually distinguish their faces, and not to mention they did not to wear much makeup and to me they still looked handsome and cute. Also based on their facial expressions, they looked they were having so much fun and also interacting with the fans (who were definitely having so much fun too considering how vigorous they were with their glowsticks).
(cosmic!! having fun performing on stage)
To be continued in Day 2!
Bonus picture
(Hanapii be like ‘I’m a goddess’ lmaooo)
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AJR/Fletcher/3OH!3 @ ISU’s Braden Auditorium
A different take to the blog this post. I went to a show alone up in the Blono area. For those of you who are reading this and aren’t local, it’s Bloomington-Normal which is the home of the Illinois State University Redbirds. Pretty campus, nice majors, etc. Definitely worth checking into if you’re in the market for college. I have a lot of friends who go here / have went here. The parties are dope, the bar scene is hype, and it’s a great little place overall to spend 2-4 years if you have that kind of time and money.
FIRST IMPRESSION:
This was my first concert at Braden Auditorium and I am going to give it about a 7.5/10 rating for the venue, 8/10 for the vibe, and artists individually will get reviews/ratings later on in the blog. The venue was actually really well ventilated and it stayed cool inside despite the fact that it was packed as fuck and everyone was flailing around like an octopus at a rave. Parking was big and spacious, I conveniently parked closest to the doors not even knowing where I was going. Shout out to Brady for getting me where I needed to go via Snap since I was clueless. It was more or less just following the masses. (Doesn’t that lead to mass murder or cults?) The merchandise was right inside the doors and everything was front and center. AJR was the only artist that had merchandise out so I bought their short sleeved tie dye shirt (I’m a slut for tie dye) and their dusty rose hoodie with “100 BAD DAYS 100 GOOD STORIES” on the back because obviously. That’s my favorite song off Neotheater. I think it was reasonably priced. $35 T-shirt and $65 hoodie. Lucky for me, I brought exactly $100. Amazing on me.
I’m really not a fan of “assigned seating venues” so that was a bummer at first but the chair was super convenient when I wasn’t feeling it for the middle set. The facility is super nice, the security/assistants were super nice, the vibe was super nice. Overall super nice. The box office workers were SO kind helping me get my ticket (obviously I needed a physical ticket for the collection) and pointing me in the right direction to my seat. The people I sat around were kind as well. I had a group of girlfriends to my right, a couple to my left at first, and friend groups ahead and behind. As the Fletcher set went on and I was sitting, I had a weird guy come up and sit in the empty seat to my left. He got creepy after a few minutes and, GOD BLESS, the two girls that were together behind me saved the day and pulled me up to the next row back with them. After a while he tried talking to the group of girlfriends that were to my right originally and after talking with them I found out they were 17!!! So I told them I’d walk them out to their car after the show and they were so appreciative. Girls helping girls is what this future needs to become. Aside from that little stutter, the seating was not the best but wasn’t the worst. Neutral rating there, but for future reference I am gonna try to avoid assigned seating venues. Dat shit lame.
The thing I like the most about this experience for myself was that I was able to let myself feel. I have an issue with bottling up my emotions and I don’t ever process them, I just shove them to the back of my mind and wait until the shelf is too full and one falls off and I deal with it when the glass breaks. So being able to sit here, reflect on my emotions, feel things for what they are at their own face value, it was really nice. I heard all of my feelings loud and clear, I cried tears of happiness, sadness, confusion, excitement. There was so much going on in my brain that I couldn’t hold any of it in. Music is one of the only things that allows me to feel freely and deeply, so this experience helped me sort through what I’ve been holding onto. Some days I wonder why I hold on. I think this is a good habit to get into: going to a concert alone once a month, maybe twice. Not just for me, but for anyone who has a deep connection with music, artists, albums, etc. Overall, a pleasant experience for what I dubbed “Solo Sunday”.
ARTIST REVIEW:
3OH!3 - The first artist up on stage was 3OH!3 and I am honestly so emo over that itself. I’ve been into them since I was in middle school so that was a dope experience. I didn’t think I would see them in concert in my entire life let alone be a few feet from them so that was super surreal and I felt so starstrukk (puns, lol). Honestly, they’re so hype and their humor is very plain, but it’s still funny. I loved their set, recorded half of it on my phone, and will probably blare them on the hour long drive home. It was seriously such a great moment for me, my 13-year-old self was LIVING HER BEST LIFE and I can’t say 22-year-old me could’ve complained either. (10/10)
Fletcher - Fletcher was the second artist out of the trio. Let me start by saying her voice is AMAZING and she is TALENTED. But it’s too loud and strong for the mic and that needs to be adjusted so it doesn’t sound so blaring and shitty. I wasn’t really feeling her set so obviously I sat and started this blog. You could barely understand half the words she was singing when she got quiet, you could only hear her when she was loud. Aside from the sound, her lyrics were spot on for any girl going through literally anything. “Wish I could get a little undrunk so I could uncall you, at 5 in the morning I would unfuck you”. Bruh. My CHEST. Who said she could come for my life like that? This is wack as FUCK, I got called out hard on the whole set. There’s just something about the emotion in her voice that make the lyrics hurt 10x more and I think that is what makes a good artist. I think she talks too much midset and between songs, but maybe she will learn as she tours more that not every song needs an explanation for why she wrote it or when she wrote it or where. Overall I think her lyrics were good, the sound was okay, but the set was mediocre at best. Maybe an artist better on recording compared to live, will definitely give her a listen and fair chance. (7.5/10)
AJR - First off, let me just say that AJR was/is/always will be a (not so) subtle obsession. Neotheater (album review post coming soon) got me in my feelies so fucking hard that I couldn’t breathe. It was a cheap rib shot and it made me want to reevaluate everything I’ve ever said or done in my entire life. Seeing them live, being in the same building as them, it had my feelings on a whole different level. This album has been my rock for the last few weeks on repeat and helping me through this rough patch of my life. Being at the NEOTHEATER WORLD TOUR was unreal. They bring so much hype and playful banter to the stage, seeing them interact with one another (they’re brothers slash the “they were roommates” vine) was so wholesome. The gig was INCREDIBLE. I recorded most of the set to have for the bad days and the sad days. They are fun, upbeat, and quirky in the best way. I cried for the first 4-5 songs because it was so surreal to me and I was just in awe of the fact that the music that I listen to so I can make it through the day sounds 10x better in person. The vibrations in your chest and the pounding headache you find yourself not minding, the amazing crowd that feels the same or similar to the way you do, and the hype that everyone in the place felt. It was all amazing and I will never miss another AJR show again. I really just sat there and soaked in my tears the whole set. It was satisfying in a weird way to connect with something so simple so deeply. (10/10)
THE DRIVE HOME:
The drive home was hype while I sat in the lot trying to leave all the way up until I got out of Blono. It began as a light jam session of “I’m Not Famous” and “Burn The House Down” in the lot, transitioned to 3OH!3 on shuffle (skipping for all the high tempo bops), and then winded down with a play through of Neotheater in its entirety. From the moment I hit the highway from the last exit taking me home, I started the album from the beginning. I let the words sink it, the emotions connect, and I was a bawling mess. I sang, I cried, I bobbed my head along time the heartbreaking truths the lyrics were throwing at me. I revisited painful things from my life, I planned out new future plans. I took my present life into consideration and started working on a plan to get it back together. By the time I got home, my face was covered in teary mascara streaks and my eyes were bloodshot and burning. My cheeks were red and I felt so exhausted. Letting my emotions get out in their own way made me feel like a new person. The months upon months of bottled up feelings are gone and it’s time to start over with new ones.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
I enjoyed myself. That’s a phrase that will rarely come out of my mouth. But hey, it’s true. The experience was one of a kind, it was extraordinary, it was everything I wanted it to be. $50 to see a life altering show (dramatic, yes, but not entirely wrong either) was a steal. I would recommend an AJR headliner any day regardless of the openers. 3OH!3 as a headliner would slide if they had good openers. Fletcher as a headliner would be cool if you like that kind of thing. Don’t go to concerts alone unless you are adequately prepared to be alone. Help those around you, enjoy the moment, live for the now. Let those around you enjoy things in their own way. Be kind, be compassionate, be supportive. Enjoy the time you have because your days are numbered, regardless of the total amount. And when you think you shouldn’t do something because you don’t wanna go alone, do it anyway. It will be good for you and it will bring a new meaning to self care. I feel weightless and so wholesome. I am ready to tackle another week, month, and year.
#AJR#CONCERT#braden auditorium#isu#illinois state university#music blog#blog#artist review#music#3OH!3#fletcher
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My Little Prize - Aeron x Mori
Starter for @naughtynecromancer - Based on THIS
Today was the day Aeron was finally going to meet Her. It had been months now since their arrangement hand begun. All because one night out of boredom he’d posted an anonymous offer to be someones Sugar Daddy in exchange for mental stimulation. He put it down to the life of being famous getting to him. Even if he was use to trusting no one and knew mortals were fickle beings who only ever gave as much as they got he had still found himself seeking a more stimulating companionship.
When she had responded he had been surprised. The girl was exactly what he needed. Emotionally independent and intelligent she provided the mental stimulating companionship he didn’t get from drunken one night stands and various affairs from those who only sought him out due to his status as a famous rockstar. It had almost been amusing when he had discovered that she was also one of his ‘fans’. Yet, it provided him with the perfect opportunity to finally meet her without making it such a frightening experience.
The moment the concert has begun his eyes has sort her out in the front rows exclusive to the VIP passes. Having never put much weight on what she looked like much more preferring the exhilaration of their flirtatious banter he had to note that from the few pictures of her he had seen that they hadn’t done her justice. The more he snuck glances at her the more desperate he was to get his time alone with her backstage during the meet and greet. After all he had a few flirtatious promises to come through on but first... he was going to have his fun.
“Sadly, ladies and gents our time is coming to an end,” he called out to the crowd down the mic attached to his face running his fingers over the strings of his guitar as the crowd gave out a unified protest. “I know. I know its been a wild night,” he winked in a general direction doing a small skipped step across the stage so he placed himself directly in front of Her as he crouched down. “Now, I’ve got to dedicate this song to a special girl out in the audience tonight. Mori, Sweetheart, this song is all for you,” he hummed only at the last moment turning his gaze to her and giving her a very direct wink as a smirk spread over his lips. With that he began the song getting back up and standing himself more firm onto the stage. It was his most recently released song, a fan favourite, and he would confess inspired by Her.
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Friends Will Be Friends || Chapter 5
A few elements from the main plot: A very special group of friends: early days, drama, laughter, booze, success, rock stars life, girl power, friendship, love, sex, music, misunderstandings, some more drama, family. Pairings in the tags
Summary Chapter 5: Melissa’s point of view. Concert. A lot of awkwardness and misunderstandings (aka drama). It’ll make sense once you read it, I swear.
Word count: 2.5K
Warnings: little smut (kissing, touching), some fluff, tiny drama (the perfect recipe?)
A/N: Guys! I know I’ve said it already but things reeeally start to get interesting. Make sure you got the previous parts (you find the link into the description of this blog) and stay tuned for the next ones ‘cause the best is yet to come lovelies 💖😏 As usual, if you like what you read, comment, like, reblog and share this with others! For everyone who follows and supports this story, thank you guys (you know who you are)! You are real stars! ⭐💗
Days went by and Mel started losing hope that John would call her.
She hated the fact that she was so disappointed: they hadn’t promised anything to each other, so he was not totally at fault. Still, she had hoped to hear from him. She also hated the fact that his face would pop out in her head in the most inappropriate situations.
On Wednesday during class, when she was writing down equations, a variable named J popped up and she couldn’t help but smile, and go back to the concert when he had held her tight and kissed her passionately. She missed almost half an hour of lesson forcing her brain not to think about him.
By the weekend she was frustrated and almost angry at him, for not calling and Mary and Chelsea noticed something was going on with her.
When Mary asked her about it, she considered the chance of talking to someone about what was going on inside of her, so that it wouldn’t all be in her head.
“It’s just… It’s about this jerk I made out with last week” she laughed a little, seeing the girls widening her eyes hearing her talk like that “don’t be so shocked, I’m not a prude, girls”
They chuckled “Well, I gave him my number and, you know, since I enjoyed myself, I hoped he had too but he hasn’t called, so… I guess he hasn’t, after all” she laughed, feeling herself flush in embarrassment.
Mary jumped right in “Oh honey, don’t say that! He probably is just a jerk. I wouldn’t worry about him… I would go out tonight and look for someone else to enjoy” she smirked and Mel giggled.
“Darling do not dare to doubt yourself” Chelsea added, smiling and rubbing her shoulder “Tonight my roommate is playing near the Imperial. We should go and dance our asses off. We need to forget about all the fucking boys that hunt our lives” she continued, laughing and putting her arm around Mel’s shoulder.
“I’m absolutely in! Three single girls, ready to conquer the world and leave a trail of broken hearts” Mary exclaimed lifting her fist in the air.
They all laughed and, after closing the shop, they arranged to meet at the bar later in the evening.
Mel was aware of the fact she wasn’t completely over the whole John story, but her friends’ enthusiasm was bloody contagious and she couldn’t help but feel excited.
She desperately needed to boost her self-esteem, so she decided to wear the floral dress that always put her in a good mood.
When she got out of her bedroom she found Roger packing up some things for the gig they had that night. When he glanced at her he immediately stopped,
“Wow sis, where are you going?” he said, a bit of disapprovement in his tone
Mel was weirdly pleased by his reaction “Out with the girls” she said.
“You have girl friends?” he joked acting surprised.
“Yeah, Rog, and they’re off limits okay? Not that I’d let you near one of them anyway…”
He chuckled “Don’t worry sis, there are loads of other fishes in the sea”
“You’re disgusting” she said, laughing a little.
“Sweet as always, Mel. You watch yourself tonight, okay?” he changed tone, mid-sentence, actually concerned for his little sister. He knew perfectly well how guys could be. Hell, he was one of those guys and he didn’t care about what other people thought of him, but the idea of her sister as a one-night-stand girl made his blood boil in his veins.
“Don’t worry, Rog, I can take care of myself, okay?” and she really meant it.
He left her a piece of paper with a number on it “It’s the number of the pub we’re playing in. If you have any problem, please just call me”
“Okay Rog, thanks. Have fun and don’t wait up” she winked at him before closing the door.
Roger had never seen her so enthusiastic about going out and had the strange sense something was off with his sister. He tried to shun the bad feeling and focus on the instruments he was packing.
“Relax mate, she’s a smart girl” Brian appeared behind his shoulders and Roger nodded distractedly, his mind was somewhere else. Brian knew him too well and immediately understood that he wasn’t only thinking about his sister in that moment. “It can’t be true. You’re still thinking about her?” Roger rolled his eyes and headed to the door. But Brian stopped him.
“You’re being ridiculous”
“Okay, then tell me you’re lying and I’ll stop”
“Fine. I’m still thinking about Chelsea, are you happy now?” Roger didn’t even give Brian the time to speak, pushed him aside and opened the door, going down the stairs. Brian smirked and followed him.
***
Outside the pub, you could already feel the acre smell of alcohol spilled on the floor and the heat of the bodies dancing to the beat of the music.
The girls entered just when the first band finished their set and announced a few minutes break. The crowd was huge and the girls managed to squeeze and slide into the first row in the corner near the bass amplifier.
They chatted livelily, scanning the first rows, looking for familiar faces. Their attention was caught by a guy with black hair and an eccentric blouse decorated in gold and green, who came on stage to fix the microphone. Mel thought he was unmistakable: that was Freddie. He recognized her and waved at her, causing a lot of people to turn their heads towards her.
“Oh my God Mel did he just wave at you?" Mary asked with dreamy eyes.
“Yes, that's Freddie. He's the lead singer in my brother's band-” she wasn't even finished when Mary said:
“That's freaking cool, why did you not tell us? We've been - well, I've been - wanting to meet him since I started uni. He's kind of a big deal in our course, you know? He has even published a small brand of clothes”
“I guess I didn't know. Hell, I didn't even know they would be playing here tonight” Mel chuckled at Mary's adoring look “I can introduce you later if you want” and the girl vividly nodded.
Mel turned chuckled again and turned to Chelsea, asking:
“Chel what's the name of your roommate's band?”
“I actually don't know… I heard they were looking for a new one, but I can't really remember what they used to call themselves before” “Did he mention Freddie? Cause if he did, he might be playing with my brother” Chelsea opened her mouth but was interrupted by Freddie, as he greeted the audience: “Good evening, darlings” he started “Freddie here, and this is Queen. We're here to entertain you this evening, if you'd like"
The crowd cheered.
“Alright!” he incited them “let’s hear a round of applause for the rest of Queen. At the electric guitar, we have Mr. Brian May” and he pointed at the tall guy approaching the guitar stand, who smiled politely and waved at the cheering crowd. He winked at Mel, surprised of seeing her there. But he didn’t notice Chelsea, that was trying to convince herself with her whole heart that that guy wasn’t the tall boy she had met in Roger’s apartment a week before.
“At the drums, we have Mr. Roger Taylor"
Every single girl in the pub screamed at the mention of her brother’s name and Mel wooed along with them. Roger winked at her as soon as he caught her face: he hadn't expected her to be there, but he was glad she was, so that he could keep an eye on her.
As he thought that, he realized that the girl standing next to her, eyes widened and cheeks flushing, was the girl from the previous weekend; the one that had crashed into his life, stole one of his favorite shirts and left him with a thousand questions and a stupid smile on his face. His heart raced more than he expected, as a feeling of happiness started to grow in his chest.
Chel had an interrogative face as she tried to figure out why he had winked at Mel. Was he her brother? In that moment, surrounded by the chaos, she started to wonder what Mel’s surname was and her questions got lost in a side of her mind when she looked again at Roger.
When he smirked in her direction, she could feel her cheeks flush even more as she forced down a smile. She pinched herself because she couldn’t believe her eyes. She couldn’t stop looking at Roger either but tried to calm herself down, to avoid recalling Mel’s attention.
“And on bass guitar, our new entry, please a round of applause for John Deacon”
John stumbled on stage and awkwardly smiled and waved at the public. His eyes searched the room for Chelsea and when he saw her in the front row, cheering for him, red cheeks and proud eyes, he smiled to her fondly.
In the exact same moment, his sight focused on the girl standing next to her: he felt his cheeks flush and he widely smiled at her.
Mel was incredulous: how could he just smile like that? And the thing she hated the most was the fact that she could not control the heat sprouting throughout her whole body. She wanted to hide what was going on in her mind trying to keep an expressionless face, but she was not sure she had succeeded. She also couldn’t stop her mind but think that John had to be Chelsea’s roommate, so Mel turned around to find her with the same confused look on her face.
Mary had noticed the looks the four of them exchanged and she put the pieces together: she couldn’t help but smile widely at how wonderful destiny had worked to arrange those incredible coincidences.
The guys started playing and the tension lifted off as the rhythm of Keep Yourself Alive pervaded the pub. Heads nodded along with music and feet kept time. The crowd was captured by their music and when they announced the end of their set, they all applauded and cheered the band.
Mel was extremely proud of them, she had never seen such a response to their concerts and she had been at most of them. They seemed to have enchanted the audience and though she still had mixed feelings towards John, she couldn’t be more amazed by his talent and how he completed perfectly the band.
The band packed their instruments and spread among the crowd. The first thing Mel did was walk up to Freddie, dragging Mary by the arm and introducing them. His eyes lit up as he shook her hand and gave it a gentle kiss. Mary was about to melt and had a smile going from ear to ear.
Mel knew that was a good match and excused herself to leave them some privacy.
As she turned on her heels she bumped into someone’s chest and when she looked up, some big grey eyes were staring at her.
“I was looking for you” John said to her ear, sending shivers down her back. Mel was still determined to keep him on edge and objectively analyze his intentions.
Seeing she was unwilling to answer, John added “I think we’re pretty lucky”
Mel furrowed her eyebrows and he explained “You said we might have not been lucky enough to find each other again. But here we are” he said with a smile “So, I guess we’re pretty lucky”
She wanted to punch that handsome smile off his face: we haven’t seen each other because you didn’t call me, jackass. That’s what she wanted to say, but what she heard herself say was “The universe loves to prove me wrong”
What the hell was that? she thought. She desperately wanted to be angry at him but she also desperately wanted to kiss him again, and the most irrational part of her conscience won.
She urgently crashed her lips onto his and John couldn’t help but smile against her lips. He had missed them so much, he thought he might have been dreaming. They pulled back to grasp some air; he looked into her eyes and whispered “You are truly beautiful tonight”.
She smiled and took his hand. They both became serious for a moment, and stared at each other, trying to understand what was going on inside the other’s mind. They slowly walked hand in hand towards the less crowded side of the bar, which led to the back of the building.
When they were sure to have some privacy, they grinned and started from where they had left off.
He pinned her back to the wall and deepened the kiss, his hands exploring her lower back and waist. When his hand went up under her dress and started to gently caress her bare skin, she moaned into the kiss. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and she could feel herself melt under his touch. She ran her fingers in his hair while he left sloppy kisses on her neck; Mel had to bite her bottom lip to keep from moaning again.
All the anger she had stored, had slipped away and all she could think about was how good his hands felt on her hot skin. She pulled him even closer to her, pushing her hips towards his and feeling the bulge growing in his pants.
He suffocated a moan when he felt her hand sliding between their bodies, reaching for his belt. He pulled away from her neck to look into her eyes: all he could see was desire and lust and he was sure as hell, that just that sight could have ended him.
He gathered all the strength he had, smiled at her and placed a hand on hers “Not here”
Mel was disappointed, to say the least, and when he noticed, John continued “I want you all for myself, Melissa.” He was looking her intensely and she could feel her legs melting in the ground “All for myself, but not here” he stated, looking languidly into her eyes.
If possible, she was even more excited than before, but she knew he was right: that was not the place where she wanted it to happen. She stole another, passionate kiss and then took his hand. They dove into the crowd one more time and slid onto the dance floor.
A slow song was playing, so they wrapped their arms around each other and kept on dancing like that for a while. They had pretty much cleared what they wanted from each other, so they had nothing more to do, if not abandon themselves to the music.
Mel gathered courage and asked with trembling voice “Are you gonna call me this time?”
John was perplexed by her question and then realized she had never gotten the message from Brian. He was too inebriated by the smell of her hair and the softness of her skin, to think about why Brian had not told her. He just answered, “I am, darling”.
And he tightened the hug just to make sure she knew he meant it. He would have kept calling and calling until he had heard her voice on the other side.
Mel didn’t know exactly why, but she felt sincerity in his tone and could not help but look forward to finding out whether he would keep his promise.
Chapters: ⤎ previous | next ⤏
A/N: Hi again! Hope you enjoyed this chapter 💗 we’re gonna tag the lovely people who read, liked and commented the previous chapters. If you want to be tagged in the next one, comment under this one or leave us a message. Our inboxes are always open for you beautiful people
Tag list: @littledarlingwellaway @its-a-metephor-brian @bohemiandelilah @onevisionliz @misshystericalqueen @loki-lover095 @deakysgurl@inthelapofthe39 @starsoflovingness-wq @minetticatinwonderland@cairdes20 @friendswillbefriendsblog @o-holynight @trash-record-collection @please-stop-me-now @theappleofmybri @marvelsbunch [if your name is crossed out, we couldn’t tag you 😢 please message us, and we’ll sort it out 😘]
Cheers, folks! ✌💖
#john deacon smut#john deacon fluff#john deacon x oc#roger taylor smut#roger taylor fluff#roger taylor x oc#John deacon imagine#roger taylor imagine#queen imagine#70s queen#fwbf#friends will be friends#wewillwriteyou#deakyswhitequeen#sweetgcreature#bohemian rhapsody#borhap#borhap boys
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Tu Me Manques (I Miss You)
JUGENEA FAN FICTION
Spring 1951 Paris, France
Judy Garland’s full orchestra exuberantly played ‘Over the Rainbow’ concluding the end of her concert at the Théâtre Édouard VII. Judy stood center stage, lit up by a spotlight, glowing like an angel.
She was slightly out of breath from her last boisterous note and from all the excitement from the evening, her only show in Paris during this European tour. Her audience stood on its feet with thunderous applause and encored cheers. She mouthed ‘thank you’, her scarlet lips in full smile, before her eyes darted to a particular spot in the front row that she’d been glancing at all evening.
Gene slightly smiled, his eyes twinkling as he took a few steps forward and tossed a single yellow rose over the orchestra pit, landing at her black spiked heels. She bent down and picked it up but before she had time to respond to her ex-lover’s gesture, two stage hands came out of the wings with bouquet of flowers almost swallowing her. Her standing ovation lasted for a few minutes until she willfully left the stage.
“Yep, he’s out there. He’s talking to Louis Jourdan.”
Dottie peered her eye out the small crack of Ms. Garland’s dressing room door. A crowd of people chatted right outside waiting for Judy to re-emerge. A few of the people in the crowd were celebrities (as most had already seen her in London) but the majority were hobnobs and the French press.
“Do you want me to let him in?”
Judy came out from her dressing curtain in a black cocktail dress that accentuated her curves and cleavage.
“No, I think I’ll just head to Le Jazz with Anthony. Are there a lot of journalists out there?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll go out the back way then.”
“Shall I tell Mr. Kelly where you’ll be?”
Judy reapplied her velvet lipstick and raised her eyebrow matter-of-factly, “No.”
“I thought you wanted to see him?”
“I do.”
Dottie looked at her friend mischievously which Judy caught in the reflection of the mirror.
“If he wants to see me, he’ll find me.”
“And if he doesn’t show up?”
“His loss,” Judy said over her shoulder before she walked out of the private door of the dressing room.
Gene Kelly ignored the few photographers standing outside Le Jazz, a popular celebrity spot in the Paris nightlife. In the lobby, famous french actress Josette Day and husband Maurice Salvoy enthusiastically waved to him as he headed towards the coat check. Gene smiled and waved back but his eyes scanned the crowd for a particular dark-haired beauty. After handing the coat-checker girl his Fedora, he head into the main ballroom.
Even with the crowd gathered around the tables and dancing on the dance floor, he spotted her right away as he stood there on top the stairs. Smiling, Gene placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it as he started down the stairs.
Judy softly swayed to the slow music and her expression was very melancholy. Fortunately, her partner couldn’t see her face. She had stopped herself from sighing quite a few times so she wouldn’t be questioned by her date. Was it impatience? Disappointment? Maybe both. Where the hell was he?
She closed her eyes trying to relax her anxiety and let the seductive music fill her senses. However, her eyes shot open was she felt a hand slide slightly down her backside. As she reached back moving that hand off of her, she saw Gene across the crowd navigating his way towards her. She perked up but stayed in the other man’s arms as her eyes kept contact. Gene didn’t look at her as he found an empty chair at a table right in front of them. Once he got comfortable, then he looked up at her…smiling.
Judy perched her lips, trying to hide her smile as Gene just sat there casually, not at all bothered by her close proximity to her young dance partner. This amused her and she kept an enticing expression on her face as she danced slowly, staring at Gene just a few feet away.
Gene motioned with a nod and mouthed ‘Whose the asshole?’ Judy couldn’t help but silently giggle which had Gene break out in a wide smile before he took another drag of his smoke. When the song ended, Gene watched as Judy excused herself from the man and headed towards the back of the club.
Judy came out of the washroom and was a tad startled to see Gene leaning against the wall.
“Waiting for me outside the ladies room…how gallant of you.”
“What makes you think I’m waiting for you?”
Judy laughed, “Well, unless there’s a male friend in the next washroom, I doubt there’s another woman in there you’d be waiting for.”
“You don’t know that. The next woman who comes out of there could be who I’m waiting for.”
Judy laughed again. She missed his game. “Oh, really?”
Just then a middle-aged blonde woman, rather plump, walked out of the ladies room. She did a double take on them before she walked in between them with an appalled expression.
Gene looked at Judy wide-eyed and she smiled opening her palm towards the woman’s direction, “Be my guest.”
Embarrassed, he chuckled wiping his eyebrow, “I think I’m good.”
“Not your type?”
“Nope. I prefer brunettes.”
“Oh. That all?”
“No, I also like ‘em short.”
“She was short.”
“About four foot eleven short,” he corrected her.
Judy smiled, “What a coincidence,” and turned to walk back.
He followed closely behind, “With deep brown eyes, full lips, a melodic voice and…” Gene took ah old of her hand stopping her, “Someone who gives as good as she gets in the sac.”
“My dates waiting,” she responded visible unfazed. Inside she was tingling.
“Date?” Gene spat out.
“Ye-e-es,” she hummed.f
“Who is he?”
“Anthony Burrows.”
“Anthony Burrows,” he mimicked, “Sounds like a dick.”
“Don’t be so crass, darling. It’s unflattering.”
Gene followed as they maneuvered around the dance floor, “What’s he do?”
“He used to be a contract player at Metro.”
“Oh, keeping it in the old Alma mater, huh?”
“We have mutual friends.”
“He looks like a 21-year-old rich boy.”
“He’s a year younger than I am. Stop being jealous.”
“I’m not jealous. I’m just wondering what you’re doing with an ex-MGM puppet.”
“I’ve known him for years. He was actually one of the boys in the Embraceable You number on Girl Crazy.”
“Oh, how nice for him, “Gene sarcastically responded as he pulled a chair out for her at the currently empty table.
“And if you’ve forgotten, I’m also an ex-MGM puppet.”
“No, you were a talent that they took advantage of. There’s a difference. What’s that Burrow’s talented at?”
Judy played along slyly, “I’m too much of a lady to say.”
Gene looked up in mid-light of his french cigarette but when he saw the gleam in her eye, he knew she was teasing him.
“Please. I bet just the thought of him being with Judy Garland makes him so nervous he couldn’t even get it up.”
Judy glanced to the side hoping no one heard his unfiltered talk. She raised an eyebrow and tapped her nails on the table, “You were with Judy Garland and had no problems in that department.”
“Because I was with Frances Gumm, my best friend. He thinks you’re Dorothy.”
Both of their earlier smiles had faded with his last words. He was right. Not only about his assumption with Anthony but about their relationship, which had ended back in September. That’s when she was officially terminated from MGM. Her marriage had also been suffering. She had needed to get away. With Gene’s marriage also on the rocks, the two mutually, but disappointingly, decided to stop their affair- a love affair that had been going on since their first picture in 1942.
Judy took a long vacation, spending most of it with Liza. When she returned, she was happy, healthy, sun-tanned and mentally intact. But, it was clear her marriage to Vincente was over. She moved to New York for the separation.
During those seven months, Gene busied himself in work, though without Judy around the lot, it was a very different atmosphere considering she had been there since he came to Metro. His marriage didn’t exactly pan out either. His love and grief of Judy’s absence in his life after nearly ten years caused him so much depression that he chose work over his wife, though always made time for his daughter.
“I’m surprised it took you this long to find me,” Judy said lightning the mood.
“Oh, you were expecting me to come find you, huh?”
“I had a feeling you might.”
“Is that why you darted out after the concert, to play hide-and-go-seek?”
“I was avoiding the photographers,” She half fibbed.
“I could have snuck out with you.”
“I had a date, didn’t want a third-wheel.”
“Had being the operative word.”
“Have,” she murmured almost forgetting Anthony was still around somewhere.
“Oh, here he comes now, Metro toy, chorus boy.”
Judy turned as Anthony walked up with two drinks, “Here you are Judy. I was wondering where you ran off to.”
“I ran into an old friend.”
“Ah, yes, Mr. Kelly How are you? Nice to see you again.”
Shaking the man’s hand, Gene became confused, “I’m sorry, have we met?”
“A few times actually. Tony Burrows. I used to work at Metro, but the last time we met was at the golf course in Palm Springs last year. I was on Sinatra’s team, when we beat you out of a thousand bucks for the last swing.”
Gene look taken a back as Judy put her finger to her lips stifling a giggle.
“Oh, yes, how could I forget.”
“You’re a good golfer.”
“Apparently not good enough,” he mumbled.
Gene noticed Anthony’s arm go on the back of Judy’s chair and just that unknowing, simple gesture made him want to punch the dweeb.
“You two were in two pictures together, right?”
“Six,” Gene corrected.
Anthony immediately furrowed his brow.
“Three we starred in together,” Judy double corrected, “The other three were guest spots, we didn’t work together.”
“Oh, I see. Well, unfortunately, Miss Garland and I only worked on one picture together.”
“Girl Crazy, right? On of the penguins on the Embraceable You number she said?”
Judy darted dark eyes towards Gene, which he ignored.
Tony chuckled, “Yes, sir. It was fun though.”
“Until you fella’s started spinning that darn piano. I thought I was going to fall off.”
She and Anthony laughed at their shared memory.
“Nah, I would’ve caught you.”
“Of course you would’ve, darling.”
Gene was now the one to glare dark eyes at Judy’s flirtation.
A friend came over and sat down next to Anthony to which they started chatting. Judy noticed Gene reach for another cig and she put her hand over his to calmly stop his chain-smoking, a habit she hated. He complied and relaxed when she kept her hand on top his. He linked his thumb against one of her fingers and played with her familiar soft skin. He also noticed the absence of her wedding ring.
“So, the rumors are true with you and Vince, huh?”
She nodded, “It just wasn’t going to work out. But we’re still good friends.”
“That’s good, especially for Liza’s sake.”
“I’m surprised you don’t know, working together on An American in Pairs and all.”
“I don’t ask him personal questions. Speaking of Vince, was he at the show tonight since you’re in town? I didn’t see him.”
“No, he’s with Liza. She’s got a cold and didn’t want to stay with the Nanny.”
“Oh, poor thing. She’ll bounce back quick, just like her mother.”
“Thank you.”
“It was good to hear you sing again.”
Judy turned to face him more, with gusto, “It feels good to sing again, particularly up there on stage.”
“I could tell. It’s like you’re home again, isn’t it?”
“Yes. After what happened in September, this offer to tour Europe was a blessing.”
“You were amazing, Judy. Your voice was stronger than I ever hear it, and you look so good. You’re glowing again.”
She spoke with emotion, “I feel good. I’m healthy. I’m enjoying life right now, more than I have for a long time.”
Through his own emotions, Gene leaned in an gave her a friendly peck on the lips, “That’s good to hear, honey. You’ve made a turn-a-round. I think those bastards firing you was the best thing for you.”
“I think so, too.”
“And ironically, those bastards hiring me was the best thing for me as it brought me to you.”
Judy smiled and looked down as they played with their fingers below the table in such a comfortable manner.
“I miss you, you know,” he whispered.
I know,” she whispered back.
“Dance with me,” he demanded more than asked.
Without a reply, he took her hand and they walked to the dance floor. Once there, they embraced closely, flirting with their smiles.
Gene sighed luxuriously holding her in his arms again looking into her eyes, “Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, honey,” she repeated just the same.
“You realize I haven’t danced with you since the Summer Stock premiere party?”
“That was a long time ago.”
“Too long.”
“Still feel the same?”
“Yep. You look at me the same, too.”
“How is that?”
“With shiny eyes full of love and warmth, but wicked as hell…I can always tell what you’re thinking.”
“What am I thinking?” She asked impishly.
“I’m too much of a gentleman to say, “He teased from her earlier comment.
She giggled, “You’re probably right.”
“What? That I’m a gentleman or that I’m right about your thoughts?”
Her smiled faltered, “That you’re right about my thoughts.”
Gene studied her almost shy expression and knew she was serious. His arousal was serious.
“Really?”
She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck so their cheeks could meet. Gene inhaled her familiar perfume and pressed his hand on her lower back pulling her even closer. He nonchalantly bent his head so he could softly kiss her neck. It was just barely, but it hit an aching spark for both of them.
“Oh, Gene!”
In their trance, they turned to see Leslie Caron happily waving him over.
“Darling, I think that girl is trying to get your attention.”
“That’s Leslie Caron, my co-star in this film.”
“She’s very beautiful.”
“And she’s very much like my sister,” he reassured, “And a very huge fan of yours.”
“Oh, well then I must meet her.”
Gene ushered Judy back to their table where Anthony still sat with his buddy and where Leslie stood eagerly.
“Leslie, baby, I’d like you to meet someone.”
Judy smiled and held out her hand, “His Miss Caron, I’m Judy.”
“Oh, Miss Garland. It’s an honor to meet you. I’m a huge fan.”
“Thank you so much. How nice. I’m sure after I see this movie, I’ll be a huge fan of yours as well.”
“Oh, thank you,” she blushed.
“Would you like to sit down?” Gene urged the women.
Two more mutual people came to the table and conversation was in full swing. With Judy next to Anthony again, the man placed his arm on the back of her chair once more. This time, Gene placed his hand on her thigh.
With a lull in conversation for Judy, she tried her best to concentrate at the others, but under the table, Gene’s fingers played with the hem of her dress, inching it up, touching any bare skin he could reach. His face was stone old as his fingers explored. He knew what he was doing to her. He saw a hint of a smile as she took a sip of her champagne. His digits were tantalizing, not even barely touching the places she knew he wanted to touch.
When he felt her slightly part her legs, their eyes met. His pants grew tighter. It was time to go.
“Judy, you look like you’re getting awfully tired,” Gene played.
Judy nodded faking a yawn behind her hand and Anthony immediately stood up.
“I’ll take you back to your hotel.”
Gene patiently gulped the last of his drink knowing she’d decline that offer.
“Thank you, I’d appreciate it.”
Gene’s eyes opened wide and he accidentally banged his glass on the table in shock. As Anthony helped her with her mink stole around her shoulders, Gene stood up.
“Where are you staying, Judy?”
“The Hilton.”
“And you, Tone?”
“Oh, I’m staying with family in Saint Denis.”
“Really? That’s over a half an hour drive the other direction. I’m at the Ritz down the street. I can drive her back.”
“Oh, that’s nice of you, but I don’t mind.”
“Nonsense,” Gene quipped as he helped Judy straighten the stole, “We’re right by each other. Are you ready, honey?”
“Yes,” Judy responded with an amused tone.
“See you guys later. Leslie, see you at work, doll.”
“Ok. Nice meeting you, Judy.”
“you, too, sweetie. Goodbye Anthony.”
“Bye,” he responded dumbfounded as he sat back down.
As Gene got his hat from the coat check, Judy spoke up, “You’re not staying at the Ritz. Vince told me you’re at the same hotel he is and that’s no where near the Hilton.”
Gene just smiled as he exchanged the coat check ticket with his hat.
She giggled, “You’re terrible.”
“Why’d you do that to me anyways?” he asked almost appalled.
“I wanted to see what you’d do.”
“Oh, you’re definitely going to see what I’m going to do once I get you back to your hotel.”
“Tell me. I want to be prepared,” she half-joked.
Gene spoke low as they now stood outside waiting for his town car, “I’m going to kiss you until you can’t breathe, eat you until you can’t speak and fuck you until you can’t see straight.”
Judy swallowed as they looked at each other and he continued, “And I’m going to sleep with you in my arms all night, make love to you all morning and then order up your favorite brunch while we discuss the future of our relationship now that we’re both getting divorced.”
She was so overwhelmed physically and emotionally she could not look away from him.
Gene smiled at her reaction and nodded behind her, “My car is here.”
Judy slightly jumped startled from his trance before he helped her into the back seat.
NMP
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She wanted to blame her older sister for her music taste, or more specifically, her obsessive nature with a certain British boy band. Unable to escape the bubblegum pop vibes of NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys from her childhood, her knowledge of their songs went unmatched by any subject she studied in school since she was forced to listen to them in their shared bedroom until she was five. She had no power against turning them off, she had no power in changing any of the music really. And while she thought that she would have a break once her sister went to college, while she thought may she could finally listen to her own music and develop her own likes and dislikes, the influence was already too deep.
She wanted to blame her older sister for the way music took over her life, for the way she suddenly found herself thrust into the fangirl lifestyle, complete with her bedroom walls covered in various magazine cutouts of her favorite band. At first, it was the Jonas Brothers. She nearly dragged her sister along to two of their concerts, making t-shirts with her favorite member’s name - Nick - on the back. Spending the entire concert jumping up and down, her dad was simultaneously worried about her well-being and impressed with her energy levels. That same behavior seamlessly transferring to One Direction as soon as they stepped foot on American shores, she shelled out $700 to attend their first concert in DC - a price that was a bit daunting at first. But as she and her sister attended their concerts over the band’s five years together, travelling to different states, the price no longer seemed like a challenge.
She wanted to blame her older sister for a lot of things. She wanted to blame her for the fact that their parents had very little picture of her as a baby because she was the third child while her sister had three full photo albums dedicated to her just from her grandparents alone. She wanted to blame her for the lack of makeup tips, her sister preferring a more natural and simple look, leaving her to research for hours on Youtube to learn the newest trends and how to highlight correctly. She most definitely wanted to blame her for inheriting the oldest car the family had once she was old enough to drive while her sister, of course, got a brand new car.
But now, as she found herself sitting in the empty studio, she couldn’t even begin to think of something to blame her for. In fact, in a turn of events, she owed her sister.
She owed her sister a lot.
She watched as he emerged from the back of the stage, his body draped in a silhouette of black as he made his way through the growing cloud of manufactured fog billowing from the two machines that flanked the small space. Orders from the director coming through the loudspeaker sent the multiple stage hands briskly walking in different directions, rigging lights and taping down cables to protect the talent. She couldn’t help the small smile that pulled at her lips as she watched him play with the mic stand, endlessly raising it until it reached his preferred height.
She knew how tall he was, or at least appeared, before they met. But, it still surprised her and no matter how much time they spent together, it continued to do so. He towered over everyone he met, excluding most basketball players, and no amount of heels that she wore could ever amount to his tall stature. But, she wasn’t complaining. In fact, it was one of the most attractive things about him (among an ever growing list). She liked the way he had to nearly bend in half to reach her lips anytime he wanted to kiss her, her neck craning back until it felt like it was going to snap. She liked the way she fit against his body when he was close, his arms wrapping around her shoulders in the most protective hold she had known, his chin resting against the top of her head as he stood behind her. And she especially liked the way her ears fell in perfect line with his heartbeat as she snuggled against his chest during their lazy morning in bed, becoming familiar with both his resting heart rate and his more erratic, nervous heart rate.
She watched as his eyes searched for her, unable to see much past the now blinding spotlights that fell on him as the music started to fade in. She knew he wanted her front row for rehearsals, like he always did. He wanted her front row for all of his performances. His beacon when his anxiety got too overwhelming or when he felt the performance slipping away from him, he liked knowing exactly where she was. Just in case, he always told her. While it was a small sentiment that sent her heart aflutter in the best way, she knew the second he stepped on stage, in whatever venue, he was right at home.
And that’s exactly what happened. He breezed through rehearsal like the pro he was, equipped with his charming smile as if the room was full of screaming fans rather than a number of older beer-gut bellied men, half of whom were from England, just like the show’s host.
“That was great!” James chimed from his desk, his regular-clothed appearance still somewhat jarring as they had alway seen each other in formal attire. “Brilliant.”
Shawn laughed, “Thanks, man.”
“Shawn?” The director came over the loudspeaker. “How did that feel? Anything you want to change or run over again?”
He shook his head, unfolding himself from underneath his guitar strap, handing the instrument over to the waiting stage hand. “I don’t think so. That felt pretty good.”
“Great. As soon as we’re done running over a segment with James, we’ll go over the monologue with you. So just hang out for a few minutes.”
She could feel his eyes on her the second the director’s voice cut off, but she made sure to keep her nose in her phone, mindlessly scrolling through her own Instagram feed so that she looked completely enthralled, pretending she didn’t watch his rehearsal. It was a senseless game that they played with each other, looking as if they weren’t interested in what was going on, but it never failed to create some of her favorite moments. He knew exactly which buttons to push, or tickle in most cases, to get her in a fit of breathless tears until she was almost blue while he pried her fingers off of her phone and she knew exactly which spots to press her lips against, and circle back to when needed, in order to get him to tear his eyes away from his multiple devices.
She cracked a small smile when she noticed his hands suddenly on either side of her chair, his fingers grasping lazily around the wooden armrests, boxing her in completely. His head dropping down until it blocked her vision, “Excuse me, I was looking at that.”
“Your own pictures?”
“I like to scroll through them sometimes.”
“Mhm.” He hummed.
“Don’t judge me, Mendes. I’ve caught you in the act before.”
“Maybe while I’m bored at home. But never when I’m supposed to be watching my boyfriend’s performance…”
She finally met his gaze, her eyebrows ruffling. “What performance?”
Shawn narrowed his gaze, shaking his head, “You’re lucky your sister is a good friend.”
“Oh is that the only reason why we’re together?”
He couldn’t deny that her older sister played a big part in their introduction. Having originally met at an event for E!, she had nearly spilled her entire plate of sliders on his lap, her heels tangling with the strings of the rug that was underneath the tables. He had caught her elbows before she face-planted into the next table, but the inertia of their bodies sent them flying to the ground anyways. Her three small hamburgers flanked his hair as though creating a halo of beef, sending her into a fit of snorting laughter before she could pick herself up off the floor.
It was his favorite first impression of one of his friends and a story he never got tired of telling. To anyone who would listen, regardless of if she was there or not, it always came up in conversation. And that was exactly how he met the younger of the two sisters, the girl who had now claimed half of his apartment.
He didn’t realize they were sisters while he was talking to her, though now that he knew both of them, he nearly kicked himself for not noticing the resemblance. They hated when they were called twins, but it was true - the similarities in their appearances were uncanny and had her sister not dyed her hair a dark brown, almost black color, most wouldn’t be able to distinguish who was who. But, as he jokingly made fun of her sister - in the most loving way - he should have read into the way she looked as unimpressed as a human could. Her face frozen in a deadpanned look, her lips barely budged into any form of smile. She didn’t smile. She didn’t laugh. She didn’t even twitch.
It wasn’t until her older sister drunkenly stumbled into her from the back, knocking her into his chest and slurring her way through their introduction that he put the pieces together. A rush of color turning his cheeks a deep tomato-like red as his words caught in his throat, his lips sputtering out an apology. He had tried to turn around and escape the humiliation, but she grabbed at his forearm and when he saw her smile, he knew it was all a ploy. A very well-crafted sisterly ploy.
“She had a pretty big hand in arranging things…”
“If by arranging you mean “falling into me”...” She rolled her eyes. “I guess I owe her a really good birthday present this year.”
He laughed, throwing himself into the seat next to her. His bones settling into the cushion immediately, he could feel the exhaustion finally start to hit. He was pretty good with dealing with jetlag and having been in New York City two days prior, he thought the busy schedule with his residency would keep his mind distracted enough to trick it into being adjusted to the new time zone. But, he was wrong.
“So what’d you think?” His head rolling to the side, he had to string along the conversation to keep himself from falling asleep right then and there.
Her eyes finally glanced in his direction, trailing along the line of his now slouched body. “I think you should definitely change the pants,” she began to point out, “but I’m kind of digging the shirt. And your hair - “ His eyes fluttered at the feel of her fingers running through his long dark quiff, tousling the strands loosely until they fell against his forehead in his signature look. “Your hair needs to to be just a bit more Danny Zuko, but it’s nothing we can’t fix.”
“...I was talking about the song.”
“Oh, right.”
Most times her ignorance - whether intentional or not - was frustrating. Going beyond limits he didn’t even know existed, she pushed every button in ways that got the best of his Canadian politeness. And though he often retreated to a different room holding his tongue, they never went to be angry - a sentiment that both of their parents advised. But as he watched her tongue poke out from underneath her front teeth, her nose scrunching up as a small smile grew against her lips, he knew she had watched his performance with a fine-tooth comb. She probably had a list of notes, always good things, hidden on one of her screens.
She leaned across the armrest, the close proximity of her face a sudden, yet welcomed surprise. Close enough to feel the warmth of her breath, their eyes finally met for the first time during their time at the studio and he noticed the way the soft glow of the studio lights reflected in the right spots of her irises, creating a sparkle against their dark brown color. She had always hated her eye color, but he found himself getting lost in the darkest parts of the chocolate shade at all times. When they first fluttered open in the morning, squinting as they adjusted to the brightness of the natural light, he could always pick out the very faint flecks of gold that she inherited from her father before they faded by noon. A bright coffee color whenever she was excited, they glistened with a golden hue that made his cheeks hurt, a smile permanently growing on his face as he watched her either jump up and down for hours or run through the streets of whatever town they were in, screaming at the top of her lungs. Or swallowed up in a wave of tears, the shade shifted to the deepest of colors, an almost black color. And while it was the most heartbreaking of looks he had ever seen, it was also his favorite because of her vulnerability. It was in those moments that he had fallen in love with her.
“What?”
She shook her head, pressing her lips against his in a sweet, but brief kiss. “You know it’s my favorite song.”
“It’s James’ favorite too.” He hummed.
“It’s a lot of people’s favorite. I don’t know why you’re asking for my opinion, you know you killed it. And you know you’re going to kill it tonight.”
Shawn smiled, his gaze drifting to his lap. Remembering her earlier comment, his fingers pinched the fabric of his shirt right near the buttons. “You really like this shirt, huh?”
“Mhm.” She nodded enthusiastically. “You should wear it more often.”
He raised his eyebrows, clearly interested in the path the conversation was taking. “Is that so?”
She pulled at her bottom lip, her eyes drifting to the somewhat see-through material of the white henley - his now go to style of shirt - that laid perfectly against his abdomen. Maybe it was the way it teased at the muscles she knew were underneath, her fingers ready to trace the lines against his skin. Maybe it was the way he had rolled up the sleeves to his elbows, exposing just enough of the guitar tattooed on his right arm, her infatuation with tattoos leaving her itching to add to her own collection. Or maybe it was the actual color of the shirt and its contrast against his slightly tanned skin and dark hair -
Whatever it was, it was working.
“How much - uh - how much time until they need you again - ?”
He drew a deep breath as her fingers wandered along neckline, dipping towards the top unbuttoned button. Almost feeling the touch of her skin against his and that’s when James’ voice broke through the haze. “Shawnologue time!”
She drew back quickly, “I guess that answers that question.”
“We’ll uh - “ He cleared his throat, slowly rising from the chair. “We’ll have to continue this discussion later.”
“Don’t forget, we have dinner with my sister after the show tonight for her early birthday celebration.”
“After dinner then.” He answered back, joining James at the mark in front of camera 1. Unable to keep his thoughts straight, he was thankful to have a few minutes to reread the cue cards before they began.
“And then we’re going out after dinner for drinks with a few of her friends.”
“After drinks.”
“And I think she wants to go to the Griffith Observatory at some point.” She continued.
“Are you - “
“And you have a meeting with the label super early tomorrow morning, so - “
“Ugh!” He groaned, his hands flying up towards his face. Smothering her mixed emotions into his palms, “You’re killing me, woman!”
“Love you too!”
And though he didn’t say it back in front of the twenty crewmembers, he knew she knew he loved her too. Immensely. Irrevocably. So intensely that it sometimes made his heart hurt. In all the cheesy romantic comedy cliches that he could imagine, he loved her all the same.
#shawn mendes#shawn peter raul mendes#shawn mendes imagine#shawn mendes preference#shawn mendes imagines#shawn mendes preferences#writing#mine#mendes#late late shawn
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[Live Report] 5/12 Chang-Gero Sonic: 4th Stage [PointFive(.5), that, halyosy]
Because I just want to be able to put this out there, probably the most detailed English live report of PointFive(.5)’s performance, or I guess, 4th stage in general, at Chang-Gero Sonic 2018. The rest of my report will come at a later date, sorry about that... (I just want to spend my last few days in Chicago having fun before I move back to Boston for the new school year.)
Long post.
During the final song for the 3rd stage, SKILL, I knew that the 4th stage had to be the stage for PointFive(.5). PointFive being a huge part of my life, my only time I can see them perform live... I knew I had to start heading over in order to get good spot. I started moving from my spot, and ended up in about the fourth row from the stage, towards the right of the stage (I was really close to Mi-chan and Asamaru).
From the banners, the other performers for 4th stage also included that and halyosy, and Tourai, who had to back out last minute. (The song he had planned was Roshin Yuukai.)
Once 3rd stage had finished, there was a small DJ portion between the transition, and everybody around me was really antsy. We all couldn’t stand still, but it was just... silent in the front. The back had a lot more people talking and singing along, but in the front, we were all intently watching the stage... waiting.
We’ve done 7 years of waiting... and that wait was over.
Right before the stage started... Mi-chan tweeted a picture of all 5 of them. “Ittekimasu”. They’re off. I got Mi-chan’s notification on my phone, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My breath was absolutely taken away.
(left to right: amu, Dasoku, clear, Asamaru, Mi-chan)
For the other stages, they started the first song with just, the beginning of the song, but there was a little introduction that I immediately recognized. It was the introduction to “Kimi Reflection” that they used in the live album XFD (it starts at 0:18), the exact same one.
Hearing that intro… I was thrown back into that time, and I immediately started crying.
Once the real song started, all 5 of them ran on stage: Mi-chan first, then Asamaru, then clear, amu, and lastly, Dasoku. It was a little hard for me to see, because my eyes were just flooded with tears.
It’s been years. It’s been 7 years since they sang this together.
Dasoku's the first batter in the song, and his microphone was having a little problem, and you couldn’t hear him loud enough. But it started getting louder as the song went on. But his lazy charm... was really there. The emotions didn’t show on his face, but his voice was amazing.
amu was next, and he was having so much fun. He was smiling so much, enjoying singing his lines so much.
clear and Marutan’s exchanging lines were next, and they were looking at each other, smiling, Marutan’s hand on his ear, either trying to fix his earpiece, or to make sure he was audible.
Mi-chan was next, starting off the chorus. He was like amutan, smiling, enjoying this time together.
The lead in the chorus was handed to clear after the line “baka mitai” which the whole crowd sang together... and that last word of the first chorus, “rhythm”... clear was bent over, belting out that note, perfectly. His singing has only perfected over time, and there was a lot more power, more breath control, making it even more powerful than what you here in the recording.
And that’s when everyone in front started to cheer loudly. Reality had sunk in for all of us, that they were all here, all gathered, right in front of us.
Their voices changed so much over the years... they themselves have changed... but it was perfect. The rest of Kimi Reflection... was perfect. Their harmonies were so... together, their colors melting and mixing together, making the world just a bit more colorful, magical.
And amutan’s high note at the end of the song, he was like clear, bent over, pouring his heart out into this final note. The music finished, and everyone was cheering, screaming things like “Okaeri...!”
(One thing I’d like to note, something that I haven’t seen in other unit lives, is that the screams for each member were pretty equal. The amount of screams for Asamaru, were the same amount as for clear, and the same for Dasoku, Mi-chan, and even amutan, who’s been so inactive on Twitter until the first Chang-Gero lineup announcement... It’s like that on their videos too, which I find something so... intriguing... The love for each member was so balanced...)
It was my first time seeing Asamaru, and honestly? He’s exactly like what I imagined. Small with tired eyes, wwww. He was so cute...
They started talking a bit while the crowd was still applauding.
clear introduced themselves.
clear: Hello, we’re PointFive(.5)! Eh, after our live at the Hibiya Open Air Concert Venue 7 years ago, we went on hiatus. We said that we would come back one day, and even though it’s just for one day, because of Chang-Gero, that wish came true.
The applause started up again.
clear: It’s been 7 years, isn’t it incredible that we’ve gathered again? You guys waited for a long time, huh (w). How have you guys been lately? Has anything changed?
Dasoku: I’ve changed. I’ve gotten fat.
Gero, from backstage: Ojii-chan! Your stomach is poking out!
amu, in English: Me too!
clear: Ah, me too. Marutan and Mi-chan haven’t changed at all, huh (w).
The whole crowd laughed at how those three bluntly said they’ve gotten fat, and that clear just turned to his left and said the same line to the other two. Marutan looked a little startled at the sudden change of direction the conversation was going.
Asamaru: I don’t think I’ve changed.
Mi-chan: I haven’t changed either.
Dasoku: Mi-chan says that, but he’s gotten a little bit macho.
Mi-chan: I gained muscle!
Which then, Mi-chan lifted his hoodie a little bit, and Marutan felt his abs. Everyone in the crowd was just laughing, and the other 3 were just speechless.
Dasoku: Don’t emphasize that it’s been 7 years so much (w).
clear: But 7 years! Elementary schoolers back then...
clear then looked back at the crowd, unable to finish that sentence.
Dasoku: After you’re done properly thinking about it, talk (w).
amu: If it’s been 7 years, elementary schoolers...
clear: If it’s been 7 years, then they’re in university...! They graduated from high school!
I felt so outed at this moment... WWWW. PointFive(.5) debuted in 2010, so I was in my last year of elementary school at the time. I was in my 3rd year of university during Chang-Gero.
Dasoku: Yep, that’s right (w).
amu: Newborns have entered elementary school during that time...
Dasoku: Yep, you just keep adding years.
This made me laugh, I love this awkward singing ossan. You’re so old--
clear then returned to the original topic.
clear: But nothing changed!
Dasoku: I already said, I got fat.
clear: Okay, but besides physical appearance!
Dasoku: Physical appearance (w).
Mi-chan: Oh yeah, Dasoku-san, you became a YouTuber!
clear: But he was banned from YouTube...
Everyone started laughing at this part, because it was just a running joke throughout the whole concert that he got banned from YouTube for a bit. But once the laughs died down, clear tried to get everyone to speak again.
clear: Hey, it feels like no one else is talking! Properly hold the microphone!
Asamaru: Well, I thought it would be okay if I just left the speaking parts to you, clear...
clear: But I’m not the type to speak much either, you know! It’s because no one else would say anything, so! Someone has to do it! At the end of our live, when we were asked how we felt, everyone just...!
He then started pointing fingers at the rest of them, starting from Dasoku, and ending on Mi-chan.
clear: “It was fun.” “It was fun.” “It was fun.” “It was fun.” Everyone said that!
Dasoku: We can just leave it at that, too.
clear: No, we need to have at least one person to do it properly! If there isn’t someone, wouldn’t it be bad! Think about the people who want to write about this!
The banter between those two was so funny.
clear then proceeded to tell them all to say something because they were all quiet.
Dasoku, in a small voice: Everyone has a towel, huh.
clear: Say it in a louder voice, no one can hear.
amu: Eh, I can’t hear, what what?
Dasoku, still in a small voice, a little stubbornly: Everyone has a towel, huh.
Dasoku is so cute. wwww It died down a little bit after that, and clear went on to introducing their next song.
clear: ... Well! We’re all together again, and we’re really thankful for Chang-Gero. I know it’s troubling, but we have one more song together as a group. Well then, please listen. Select me.
Shobon, on the drums, started clicking his sticks together, and clear started off with the iconic first line. “Kakuse~nai~”
I think one of the biggest things that stuck with me during their Select me performance was the sight of all 5 of them, at some point of the song, grabbing onto their chest. The song is about a one-sided love, and Mi-chan before has mentioned “ah, so it’s that kind of love song”. It’s a kind of rough love, where the feelings are so strong you can’t hide it, but you’re too scared to admit it.
That’s exactly how it felt at that time.
clear and amu told us already at Canaria that it would be their last stage together. In the interview with Gero and PUPI, they all expressed that even though they’re excited to perform together, there’s still a lot of anxiety. Those raw feelings seeped into their singing... They didn’t want it to end like this.
I remember there were a lot of tears around me during the lines: “If everyone is smiling, then there’s nothing to fear in these joyful days that seem like eternity.”
During the last chorus, when all of them sang their own “please select me” line, you could see the pain on their faces, even though they were smiling.
At the end, everyone was clapping so hard, cheering for all of them once more, saying thank you for keeping your promise... “We’ll definitely come back.”
They all exited the stage, and about 15-20 seconds passed, and clear came back on. He had taken off his glasses.
clear: Honestly, it’s so amazing... PointFive(.5), huh... I’m really, truly, not the type to talk a lot. But now, I’ll be able to walk while I talk! The next song is a solo ballad that I’ve been given the honor of singing. I believe this is my most popular solo...? Please listen. Little Traveler.
The lights had turned blue, and clear started to sing.
... let me say this. clear’s voice doesn’t know decay. There are days where his voice is rough on cast, but every performance I’ve been to his, every single live... he delivers. When he belted “hibike” during the bridge... the whole stage vibrated, it shook. The emotions he put into the song, the sheer amount of power... he’s incredible. He really, truly is.
(I also have not stopped crying since before the stage began. I don’t know how I didn’t pass out from dehydration.)
At the end, he bowed deeply and thanked the crowd, and left the stage.
When Dasoku headed towards the stage, the intro of Shinpakusuu #0822 played. The lighting had turned from blue, to blue and pink, and without saying a word, he started to sing.
When me and Linn saw Shinpakusuu on the setlist, we wondered who would sing it, but hearing Dasoku sing it was just so... calming. Having two ballads in a row like this, by two amazing singers, was just so... much for my heart.
Also, he’s just improved so much since his uploaded version... his voice was so much more stable, and there wasn’t any strain. Listening to him sing really just, showed me the true meaning of “安心感”... just, that sense of security...
Just as he came on, he left without saying a word.
Mi-chan came on, and as he came on, the intro for Iroha Uta started playing. The lighting had turned red.
Mi-chan’s voice has changed so much over the years, it’s not as rough sounding as it was years before when he first covered it, it was pretty smooth, but it still had that... fervent? appeal to it. It was honestly so sexy, the way he just, controlled the stage.
When he was done, he also bowed and thanked the crowd for listening, and he smoothly walked off stage.
The string of smooth transitions ended here... w
clear hurriedly got on stage.
clear: Hurry, hurry!
Dasoku: But it’s far.
clear: It’s not far!
Dasoku... your laziness will never seem to surprise me.
clear: It’s really been such a long time! It’s been a long time since we sang together, the two of us!
Dasoku: Yeah, it has.
clear: ... It’s like you have no feelings... There’s nothingness...
These two are so awkward, I swear...
Dasoku: Yeah, it’s been a long time. Ever since then, we had this terrible argument.
clear: We did not!
Dasoku, trying to imitate clear: I have nero now, so it’s fine.
clear: No, no!! I never said that!
They looked at the crowd, and said their iconic line.
“Ready, go.”
The music for magnet started to play, and they sang it properly until the end of the bridge.
“Daijoubu to sasayaita, anata mo naiteita no?”
The music stopped all of a sudden, and Gero enters the stage.
Gero: This is so great! Dasoclear! “Ready go!”
Gero then puts the microphone in front of Dasoku’s mouth, waiting for him to say it again. Dasoku says it in such a deep voice, clearly unamused with Gero’s... somewhat incoherent fanboying.
Gero: I heard it from backstage, it was just awesome! It’s sad that Jack-san wasn’t able to make it today.
Dasoku and clear are just looking at him, the looks on their face just screaming “eh, what is this guy doing...”
Gero: You know, I sang this as well~ I sang it together with someone named Faneru-kun. Where do you all think he is right now?
Gero then looked up into the sky.
Gero: Fa-kun! I’m doing fine!
The crowd was just laughing, saying things like “he’s not dead!” and “don’t kill him off like that!”
But then a voice answered.
?: Don’t kill me off like that.
THE WHOLE CROWD WAS IN SHOCK. WE KNEW THAT VOICE.
?: I’m not in a place like that.
Gero: Can you see us?
Faneru: I can. Hello, everyone. It’s been a couple of years. This is Faneru.
Gero: This is so nostalgic, we also uploaded this. We were called “Negero”.
And then Faneru literally just jumps into the dialogue from the intro of their magnet. “To iu wake de...”
Gero looked so offended when he went for the lines, but played along and recited his lines as well. But after Faneru’s “outobutsu damare” line, Gero was laughing too much to keep going, but Faneru continued. Faneru changed the lines a bit, and instead of saying the request for magnet, like in the video, he said “what are you doing now?” It was a question directed towards himself.
Gero: Ohh, that’s a good question! I’m interested too!
Faneru: Eh, right now, I’m actually in charge of doing the mix at this live.
The whole crowd was honestly just yelling nonstop now between each line exchange.
Gero: I can always count on you! I rely on you for so many things, that’s how I can make a living. Even today, you flew out from Kumamoto to Tokyo for me.
The whole crowd just goes “Eh?!” in unison.
Faneru: Everyone, where do you think I am right now?
Everyone was just looking around at this point, trying to find out where that voice was coming from.
Faneru: I’m above the stage.
Gero then just goes “hah?!” and looks up, and calls him “Ten no Koe”. He goes “Ten no Koe, Ten no Koe-san, yeah!”
Faneru then says the finishing blow. “Thank you for always supporting me.”
4th Stage literally had everyone in ruins by this point, if they weren’t already.
Gero then takes the mic and says “Who here like Faneru!” AND EVERYONE IS SCREAMING FOR HIM AT THIS TIME, so many hands in the air, waving, hoping that he can see all of us...
Gero: But I really do want to thank you. Therefore! For the last chorus, let’s all sing together. To reach the guy backstage. And also, to the creator of this song, who wasn’t able to make it today.
He points his finger into the sky.
Gero: Make it reach Tourai-san!
The music starts to play again, and Gerorin screams his iconic “gigabyte”. The whole crowd sang magnet together, starting from “dakiyosete hoshii, tashikamete hoshii~” of the last chorus.
clear and Dasoku leave the stage, and Gero’s the only one left. He announces the next performer, and that walks on stage. Everyone’s just in the crowd, torn by hit after hit from 4th stage.
that walks on stage so professionally, and the music starts playing, and it’s a ballad. rain stops, good-bye. Everyone’s emotions are in ruins, and the way that was singing it, was just so full of emotions, and everyone who was crying already was just crying even harder, but at least our souls had calmed down a little bit.
that walks off, and halyosy gets on stage, and he sings Konbini. I love halyosy’s voice so much, its so strong and stable... And this soft song just matches this soft man so well. At the end of the song, everyone was just in a very fluffy mood, all just smiling at halyosy’s softness.
that comes back on stage, joining halyosy! They introduce themselves as “thalyosy”, saying that they were actually part of the same band a long time ago named “absorb”, and it’s been a long time since they disbanded.
that then goes into his usual self, and immediately starts to roast halyosy. He points out that halyosy is just wearing an all white outfit (white dress pants, white collared shirt, white suit jacket, and a white hat), and halyosy starts to get flustered and defensive.
that: You’re wearing an all white outfit, you look really strange, you know that?
halyosy: What are you saying?! When I called you last night about what to wear, you told me that white matches with white, so I ended up just picking an all white outfit!
that: I can’t believe you fell for that~ But that’s something that makes you so likable, holyasy (horuyashi) (w).
halyosy: Who’s holyasy?!
Everyone was just giggling at how cute halyosy was, everyone knows how much of an airhead halyosy is.
They move on, saying that the next song was a song that means a lot to them, it’s a song that they had written a long time ago. It was popular at first, but then it had fallen from the rankings until they sang it at a high school graduation... and then it became a staple in high school graduations all around Japan, something they didn’t expect to happen at all. They then announced the song, Sakura no Ame.
... 4th stage really wasn’t fair. Their vocals together were so beautiful, so soft... Sakura no Ame is such an iconic song and it really does deserve all the love and attention it gets every time graduation season rolls around in Japan.
(Also, I love how everyone tweets halyosy during graduation season, sending videos and their thoughts and feelings about singing Sakura no Ame at their graduation. halyosy replies to the tweets, and also RTs the performances... it’s so sweet, he’s so sweet.)
Once they’re done, they invite PointFive(.5) back on the stage with them. Once they get on stage, that sudden speaks about Asamaru.
that: Earlier, I was watching Asamaru-san from the back, and I just thought he was so cute. I was wondering why he was holding an empty water bottle while he speaks, it was really so cute.
Everyone was laughing, saying that that’s really cute, and Asamaru was trying to deny it (but no he was really so cute).
They talk about how it’s been so long since they’ve all been standing on stage together. They said were also happy to be able to sing the song halyosy had written for them one more time, and halyosy was a little embarrassed, saying that it means a lot to hear it be sung again.
Their thanks transitioned really well into them announcing the next song.
halyosy: The next song was another song we had written, and you sang it for your first album!
clear: The arrangement was really amazing...
halyosy: It’s been 7 years since we all sang this song together at Hibiya. Let’s all sing it together. Fire◎Flower.
The crowd sang along the whole time, just like halyosy wanted us to, especially screaming along to the “ah oh, ey yey yey!” part! It was so energetic, everyone around the stage was having such a fun time, dancing around and smiling together, and to each other.
Something really cute that happened during Fire◎Flower is that amutan had gone behind Marutan, taking his hands and waving it around during the chorus, and Marutan was just, letting him do it... WWWW... They were both so cute.
As the song ended, PointFive(.5) talked about how they were happy to be back for the day, thanking PUPI and Gero for this chance, and thanking everyone who came to watch them. that and halyosy also thanked everyone, and they all started walking off the stage, everyone cheering for them, people still screaming out “okaeri”...
At the end, while everyone was exiting, Marutan actually took his phone out of his chest pocket, and faced the camera to the whole crowd... We were all wondering what he was doing, until he announced it at the very end...
#utaite#chang-gero sonic 2018#pointfive(.5)#pointfive#dasoku#amu#clear#asamaru#mi-chan#u:dasoku#u:amu#u:clear#u:asamaru#u:mi-chan#that#halyosy#u:that#u:halyosy#absorb#u:absorb#gero#u:gero#faneru#u:faneru#thalyosy#u:thalyosy#dasoclear#u:dasoclear#live report#rui cries over utaite
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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Live - Philly
Okay, so I was writing this mainly to share the full scoop with my frenemy @msjessicaday, but then I figured there might be some other people interested in hearing about it, so I’m posting it publicly for all to hear about the most amazing time I had on April 7, 2018 at the Trocadero Theatre in Philadelphia. This is MEGA comprehensive, so cutting for extreme length, but do read on if you want a play by play of the show, or if you want to hear how Smash Mouth and Sugar Ray made surprise guest appearances.
Doors opened at 7PM, and we showed up around 5PM. There were probably about 20 people in front of us at that point. We were surrounded by a really great group of people who were SUPER entertaining and made time fly, thank god, because it was COLD and there wasn’t much to do, haha. People walking by seemed REALLY confused by why there was such a crazy (punny!) line, and when we said we were there for CXGF, most said they’d never heard of it. But then at one point a city tour bus drove by, and the guide looked over at us and said into his mic, “it’s a lot more nuanced than that!” It was fab.
It was general admission seating, and we managed to get 2nd row center seats, thankfully. (I say thankfully bc the theater frisks people as they enter, and so ladies had to line up on the left and guys on the right, which wouldn’t normally be a big deal but since this audience skewed so heavily female, guys from way back toward the end of the line were being allowed in before women who had been in the front of the line which feels like a MIGHTY PAINFUL BIT OF SYMBOLISM WHOLLY INAPPROPRIATE FOR THIS SHOW but I digress, because fortunately we had a guy in our group and we sent him ahead to grab our seats, haha.)
Okay I do have the set list so from here on out that’s what I’m going to refer to, but some of the asides/ad libs I may not have in exactly the right order because there was just a lot going on and my memory isn’t the best.
First off, you can see the first 10-15 mins of this show on Rachel’s Facebook Live but I’m still going to paraphrase what happened.
They started with Where’s Rebecca Bunch? Everybody except for Rachel came out and dramatically looked for where Rebecca could be! Gabrielle had Rachel’s phone out and was filming the crowd. She came around the front during the “the town is all atwitter ‘cause the whole town is on Twitter,” and that + the phone got a really loud cheer from the audience. Then Rachel popped out and was like “um, guys, I’m right here, I was just taking a dump in the scary bathrooms.” (Okay so I gather this whole bathroom bit is scripted but this theater REALLY DID have murder bathrooms, the ladies’ room was ALL this Pepto-Bismol pink, the stalls were a) made of what felt like plywood and b) were REALLY short, like I’m only 5′6″ and my head was WELL above the stall wow.) And then Scott was like “that’s just the song we sing whenever we can’t find you” and Rachel goes “um so you just burst into full band and choreo whenever you can’t find me?” So then they all agreed to start with the REAL opener, West Covina. It was really short, but fab. Highlights included Rachel singing “my life’s about to change...oh my fucking gosh,” and then when she got to “because I’m hopelessly, desperately in love with...” and then Vinnie stepped forward and just PREENED. Our audience LOVED him and cheered for him for a really long time. It actually seemed like they were ready to move on but we were all NOPE, WE ARE HERE FOR JOSHUA FELIX CHAN LET US HAVE THIS MOMENT. But then Rachel finished and instead of saying “West Covinaaaaaa” she sang “PHILADELPHIAAAAA.” And Donna Lynne just casually brought up that final note an octave or two and DAMN that is a talented woman.
Then the rest of the cast left and Rachel did a welcome and said how excited they were to be in this historic city. The Trocadero is a rock theater, so she asked how many people in the audience were musical theater nerds and thus this was their first time in a rock theater. Only a few people cheered, so she said “ohhh, this is a pretty cool crowd. If it had been me, I would have [raised hand]. My first concert was Bette Midler at the Staples Center.” She introduced the band, which included Adam Schlesinger on piano and Jack Dolgen on guitar/bass. She said that women have been known to throw their underwear at Adam...and in fact, somebody in Boston had given them their dirty underwear, so we just had to be trashier than Boston. She then said women have been known to throw their tampons at him and mimed removing a tampon from her vagina and throwing it at him. She then said “that is terrible and classless, do not laugh at that joke.” Obviously we all laughed. Then she said “speaking of classless, let’s do a song.”
Song was Sex with a Stranger! Dance moves were appropriately raunchy. Girl was feeling herself, as she should. Highlights included “My name’s Jason.” “Shut the fuck up, Jason, I don’t care about your fucking name.”
She then came back and asked if there were any children in the audience, because it was going to be on a full on sex show. (There was, in fact, one child in the audience, she was behind us in line, haha.) She brought out Vinnie (who walked out with TP on his shoe, oops?) and said “Vinnie...have you ever hooked up with someone in your life...I mean, have you ever hooked up with someone in your life...Vinnie are you a virgin?!” and then got back on track and clarified hooked up with someone you SHOULDN’T have, which then led into We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now. Yup, full on sex show. Lots of thrusting. It was fab and awkward and anything. Honestly, just watch the Facebook Live. It’s about 16 mins in.
Vinnie then wanted to show off his West Covina hoodie that you can buy at merch. Rachel said he’s a really big fan of capitalism and therefore you should buy his hoodie. FUN FACT in the Facebook live when you hear Rachel say “and that gentleman is holding up a t-shirt,” that was my friend holding up the CXGF he had bought before the concert, BOOM RECOGNITION.
So then apparently Boston had an ASL interpreter, and they shared that Period Sex basically looks like holding up a pager to your face, then two bunnies fucking. So she then demonstrated “paging all bunnies...time to fuck.” Oh Rachel.
Rachel then exited and left Vinnie on stage. He said he wanted to share something really personal with us, and when he was little he was super into martial arts and thought that was all he wanted to do, but then he saw a Gene Kelly film and that transformed him, and then he went from wanting to do this [martial arts move] to this [fancy Gene Kelly-esque dance moves]. And he talked about how excited he was to have this number in S3...yes, of course, I’ve Got My Head in the Clouds. Oh, but a great moment was before he started he took off his hoodie, and the audience went wild, and you could just hear Rachel from backstage go, “You all are thirsty. He just took off his hoodie.” LMAO WE HAVE NO SHAME IN OUR THIRST. But the number was great, and the HOLY GHOST came out and was AMAZING and sparkly. And then Vinnie said “let’s see who the Holy Ghost is tonight!” and it was GABRIELLE, who did a high kick and smiled and waved goodbye. (Sidenote, can’t remember when this happened, but Gabrielle was all about the high kicks and Jack would always do a drum hit when she did, and at one point made a crack about how Gabrielle never leaves the house w/o a drum set...to which she responded with another high kick.)
So then Rachel came back out and asked who was single, and made all singletons stand up and lock eye contact with someone, and then said “there, you know each other. Now go meet up for drinks afterward.” She then went into this whole bit about how, and she was totally serious, if anybody met their sig other at this concert, she would marry them at their wedding...but don’t think you could cheat the system, bc she would check up on you. She’d go through social media, interview you both, probably watch you have sex to see if you had chemistry...so honestly, is it really worth it? But then that led into Fuckton of Cats, which was amazing, and the whole cast came out with cat ears and they each had their own kitty personalities and it was just the cutest thing ever.
Then at this point (I’m pretty sure at least) they said how they’d love to meet fans at the stage door, but their schedule is so tight they don’t have time to, so this was time for everyone to get their selfies. So then they posed facing each direction of the theater, like “okay, now this pose is how you’d look when the Eagles won! And now this is how you’d look if someone told you the Eagles suck.” NGL I got some pretty amazing pictures...
Also I can’t remember if this is actually when it happened, but I know the whole cast was on stage for it and it was toward the beginning, so I might be right...there was a center row reserved for cast comp tickets, and there were 3 empty seats. Rachel went “whoa, whose comps didn’t show?” And everybody was mumbling to themselves like “well my people are here.” So Rachel said “actually, those seats are reserved for our founding fathers. That one is Thomas Jefferson... and that one is Benjamin Franklin...and that one.....is Betsy Fucking Ross. Because everybody else is out there with their quills, and she’s like, you know what? I’m gonna sew a GIANT FUCKING FLAG.”
Next up was The Math of Love Triangles. Rachel segued into it by saying she writes with two guys, so sometimes it feels like she’s in a love triangle. She was going back to flirt with the guys in the band...and when she was by Jack, COMPLETELY wiped out, fell right on her ass. But she kept going, so at first we weren’t actually sure if it was an accident or not. Still amazing. But then she got to the end and she couldn’t hit the high note...just raspy air. We cheered anyway. And she then said the cast has been getting really run down with the tour, and in other shows they’d been telling the audience that, but then Jack said it was a real downer, so she decided not to that night...and LOOK what happened. And Jack goes “yeah, well I also say things like...don’t fall.” ASJDKASLFJASLFD They just roasted each other CONSTANTLY it was amazing and honestly Jack is my new fave.
Pete came out next, and Jack stood next to him on guitar as they did I Love My Daughter But Not in a Creepy Way. Pete was super earnest and made a lot of uncomfortable eye contact, and all the while Jack was making these “wtf this is so creepy” faces. ALSO there was a guy in the balcony right by the theater who dressed up like Darryl in Getting Bi, right down to the ‘stache, and Pete pointed him out and you could tell he genuinely loved it and said it was his favorite venue just because of that. OH BUT ALSO when Pete came out, he said “wow, Rachel, you’re looking very rock and roll tonight, all that leather.” She thanked him, and then he said “now you’re supposed to say something about me.” So she said “you look....exactly the same as you always do. It’s like the TV show Doug...you know when he opens his closet and it’s just all green sweater vest? Hmmm, which green sweater vest should I wear today? That’s like Pete...but with yacht clothes.” ASDJLKFNASFAK
Next up was Donna Lynne doing Maybe This Dream, and omg, that woman is a goddess. Seriously. That’s all there is to it. On a really shallow/superficial note, it became really clear to me that they frump her up on the show, because she is GORGEOUS IRL, and also a lot thinner than she looks on TV. But her voice...goddamn. She just makes it seem so effortless. Audience adored her and gave her a standing ovation because she’s magnificent and that’s just what you do in the presence of magnificence. But her niece was there and had just gotten engaged so she congratulated her and said “yay love!” before starting, it was so cute. (Jack, being a snarkosaurus, was like “oh they got engaged? And Donna Lynne said yes, and he goes “I don’t know those people.” AJSDKLASDNA)
Then was Women Gotta Stick Together. Gabrielle referred to it as “remember in S1 when Valencia was just always hangry...let’s go back to that.” Apparently normally during this song she comes into the audience and twirls people, but this stage didn’t have steps so she said “if I point at you, you better fucking dance.” Some people were a bit hesitant but overall people were into it and it was fab. Oh and when Gabrielle got to the line “so if some weird troll named Rebecca moves here from New York and is all up on my boyfrienddd” she turned to Rachel, who gave a tiny wave and said “hiiiiii” in that little voice, you know the one I’m talking about. It was adorable.
Back to the sex with Let’s Have Intercourse. Again, nice and raunchy. At the end Scott handed Rachel the condom and walked off stage, and Rachel asked who wanted it. Crowd obviously went wild, which led to her asking “you DO know it’s not a used condom, right? You’re acting like he personally used this condom...to be clear, this is an unused condom, still in its wrapper.” People STILL cheered, but then one woman in that balcony near the stage by Fake!Darryl shouted “I lost my job three months ago!” Rachel looked taken aback and was just like “whoa, okay, well ifI don’t give you this then I’m the asshole, here you go, take your unused condom.” There was a bit of an exchange trying to get the condom to the woman because it kept falling back down to the stage and Rachel joked about stopping the show so we could get this woman her condom, but alas, had to move on.
Rachel brought out Kabir Akhtar, who is an editor for the show and is from Philly. They talked about Philly for a bit (here). Rachel was also giving him props for being so great at editing and said how he fixes their acting and is so nice about it, because she’ll say “do we have a take like this?” and he’ll say “no, the actress was not in the mood that day,” or she’ll say “oh do we have a shot of my dancing from this angle?” and he’ll say “well the actress had some trouble with this choreography.” And he said “well it’s better than saying ‘ya did it wrong, bitch.” WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THEM CONSTANTLY ROASTING EACH OTHER?! and then Rachel said since he’s from Philly, she told him he could perform any song he wanted...he chose Where’s the Bathroom (here). Then Rachel said she forgot a prop so he had to kill some time...so he talked some more about Philly and then led the crowd in the Eagles chant. Jack was SUPER judgey and was like “I cannot believe a bunch of CXGF fans know ANYTHING about sports let alone care enough about them to know the Eagles chant” LMAO.
Rachel came back out and said “let’s do a song that makes me feel the opposite of how I feel about sports...which is interested,” which of course led into Strip Away My Conscience. Gabrielle and Vinnie joined her and it was appropriately sexy. Rachel tossed a thong out into the audience at the end. Alas, just slightly too far to the right for me to grab.
Then Rachel said there are really three types of guys...there are the Josh Chans, the Nathaniels, and the Gregs. And the problem with loving a Greg is how hard it is to have a relationship when they don’t love themselves. So then Jack came out and did I Could If I Wanted To. He changed a verse to be all about Philly, and it was HILARIOUS. It sounds like he changes a verse at most, if not all, venues to be about their current city, but at least some of this HAD to be improv, which made it even more impressing. He went on a rant about how everybody from Philly has to tell you that they’re from Philly, all you ever hear is that they’re from Philly, if he knows where a person is from they’re from Philly bc it’s all they can talk about, he doesn’t even know where his own family is from except for his Uncle Joe, who’s from Philly. And THEN he went off about how he STILL can’t believe a bunch of musical theater nerds care anything at all about sports or the Eagles or the Flyers, our faves are Miss Saigon, and honestly, I’m SO upset it wasn’t recorded because it was ACCURATE and hilarious and I’m in love. (Seriously Jack, please marry me, bye.)
Then everyone came out and Gabrielle announced it was the intermission and time to stretch, so we all stood up and did I’m So Good at Yoga. At first people weren’t really joining in and she said “no, this is no good,” and insisted we do the yoga moves. (But honestly it was really hard, there wasn’t much space.) Rachel was hilarious in this, basically reenacting the scene from the show. And then at the end the whole cast circled her mockingly while she was on the floor, and Scott ended his post basically thrusting his crotch in her face? And the entire cast burst out laughing and Rachel afterward was like “wow, if I had a nickel for every time Scott’s dick was in my face...I’d have one nickel because that has NEVER happened before.”
Oh also after this Rachel was like “you know, that line ‘I come vaginally...’” and went off on her PSA about how most women can’t climax from vaginal penetration alone and gave us extensive details about the wonders of the clitoris. But she acknowledged there were still going to be some guys in the audience going “no, my dick’s so good,” lmao. It was amazing and Jack was amusing here as well but I can’t quite recall what he said, except he expressed wonderment that nerve endings from the clit extend toward the anus in some women.
That led into the Horny Angry Tango. So they were using handheld mics the entire show, and at one point Vinnie and Pete came out to hold the mics in front of their faces so Scott and Rachel could do the dance and still sing. It was oddly comical. Also at some point here, can’t remember if it was before or after, someone in the audience shouted out “SCOTT I LOVED YOU IN ONCE UPON A TIME” and he seemed startled and said thank you. Rachel said “wow, that was like the equivalent of YouTube comment,” and Scott said “yeah, and I think I did the equivalent of liking it.” Then somebody called out “Rachel, they did a musical episode in S6, you should check it out, I think you’d like it.” Rachel said “okay, and that was an Instagram comment.” They then joked that they just needed someone to say “Come to Brazil!” to make it complete.
Then Adam did What’ll It Be and it was lovely and beautiful but honestly I miss Santino sigh.
Next was First Penis I Saw and i was a fucking delight. Donna Lynne is the cutest, Gabrielle and Rachel doing backup were delightful, and seriously, that song is just so much fun and seeing it live made my life complete.
Then, of course, we had Getting Bi. Pete came out and gave it his all, and the cast joined in with inflatable musical instruments. Scott did the sax solo on a kazoo held up to a mic. Digging it.
This is a random aside because I can’t remember exactly when it was said or why but I need to call it out. At some point Rachel was talking (honestly can’t remember to whom or what about, which is making me sad) and it was going on for a while, but then heckler Jack called out “what are we doing, recording a podcast?” And it was LOL seriously this man is my hero can he be onscreen in S4?
So then Rachel did I’m a Good Person and honestly, what else is there to say? It’s an amazing song, Rachel killed it, she made someone in the audience tell her she was a good person...god I just love this concert take me back please?
Then Rachel came out and said in a stage whisper “okay, I just don’t want the band to hear this. But we’re going to do what’s known in rock venues as an encore. So since for a lot of you this is your first time at a rock venue, an encore is when the band, let’s say Smash Mouth (here we all laughed bc wtf Smash Mouth? And she said it was the only rock band she could think of) finishes their set and they walk offstage to go shoot heroin up their eyeballs, and everybody in the audience goes NOOOO WE NEED MORE SMASH MOUTH and starts chanting SMASH MOUTH SMASH MOUTH, and so then the band goes okay we’ll stop shooting up heroin and do one more song, and so they close on All Star instead of Walking on the Sun. Okay, we’re gonna do that.”
And then Donna Lynne came out to do Face Your Fears and did I mention this woman is a goddess????? Seriously her RANGE is phenomenal, she didn’t even break a sweat hitting any of those notes, her voice is just FLAWLESS and SHE IS A FLAWLESS QUEEN. She started off solo and then the whole cast came out wearing white choir robes to do backup behind her. And when she finished she got another standing ovation (of COURSE, Philly may be obnoxious but we know a little thing called RESPECT) and the cast literally got down on their knees and bowed to her AS THEY SHOULD.
Then there was an empty stage....oh no! But we know to do what we’re told! And started chanting... SMASH MOUTH. SMASH MOUTH. And we had a view of Rachel backstage then and she LOST IT, literally bent over at the waist laughing hysterically at us chanting for Smash Mouth.
So Smash Mouth didn’t come out, BUT Vinnie and Scott did! They performed Fit Hot Guys. They stripped off their shirts to reveal t-shirts w/super ripped bodies drawn on them. They were doing their thing, and then who appears but PETE, wearing only fireman’s pants and a cap, his torso completely slicked up with what he told us later was Pam cooking spray. Vinnie and Scott were all “whoa what are you doing, have you even seen the show?” and Pete’s like “um YEAH HERE I AM” and got SUPER into it, and when they sang “without these pants” he stripped off his pants to dance in his American flag boxers. Anyway Pete is as pure as Darryl and I will protect him with my life. He also proudly stated at the end that he had just started working out this morning. LOVE.
We had the guys, so next up were the ladies doing Let’s Generalize about Men. The crowd just loved it, it’s such a fun song, and you could tell they were having a blast doing it, but I missed Vella. :(
Then there was just Rachel. She spoke to us first (I think? I might be getting my order mixed up slightly here) and said how she had chills hearing us chant Smash Mouth, that it was the perfect mix of improv and flash mobs. So then some girl called out “Rachel, I have a question.” And she went “Wow, okay, that was so polite and direct, okay, what’s your question?” The girl then asked if they could do a song from Rachel’s Sugar Ray Jukebox Musical. She said no, they weren’t remotely prepared to do that...but then Adam started puttering around on the piano and Rachel was like “wow, you know some Sugar Ray?” Soooo that’s the story of how we had a brief singalong with Rachel Bloom to Fly by Sugar Ray, and yes, she did the dance moves she did in the video.
Then we got to Stupid Bitch, which she said she knew everyone could relate to at some point in their lives. Right before the final note, she stopped, walked over to her water bottle, played up taking a looooooong drink of water, and then came back to center stage to hit that final high note. We were proud of her.
And then FINALLY, we closed out the night with Heavy Boobs. Rachel stripped off her shirt (she said we had earned it) and showed off her bra, which she said was a Natori. My friend shouted out that it was a great brand and Rachel nodded and agreed that it was a great brand. The entire cast came out midway with bras over their clothing to dance along with her...and that’s it! That’s the show!
Seriously it was beyond amazing. I didn’t take any photos/video other than the selfie moment since I was so close to the stage I thought it would be really obvious/obnoxious...I KIND of regret that just because I want to LIVE IN THE MOMENT FOREVER, but honestly, it was just SO MUCH FUN that I wouldn’t change a thing. It was more than 2 hours long and it felt like 10 minutes. I laughed SO much, and was blown away by all the crazy talent on stage. And I need them all to be my best friends.
I know the tour’s winding down now, and tickets are all sold out, but seriously, if they do this again? Do NOT hesitate. Go. Just go. (Also maybe have a guy in your group if it’s general admission, really my best tip.)
Also if anybody was at Philly and remembers anything else PLEASE SHARE I AM TRYING MY BEST TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING FOREVER AND ALWAYS AND I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ALL YOUR RECOLLECTIONS AS WELL TO HELP WITH THAT EFFORT. <333
#Crazy Ex Girlfriend#Crazy Ex Girlfriend Live#Rachel Bloom#also I'm not even from Philly...my friends and I joke that we claim it for the good and disavow ourselves for the bad#but I could appreciate the fully Philly experience#you could tell the cast was having SO much fun and honestly that made it even better#okay now that I'm done my novel I'm gonna go#byeeee
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With love,
Characters: DAY6 Jae x OC
Genre: fluff, slice of life, romance
Words: 2.6k
Description: penpal!jae – when the flame of love rekindles
---
"From: Jae."
You raised a single eyebrow at the letter, surprised that this even appeared in your mailbox. You definitely weren't expecting him to write to you so soon, if not at all. But you couldn't deny that a small part of you was excited to see what he had written - he was a rather funny character. Tearing the slit open, you were greeted by a whole bunch of capital letters and haphazard punctuation - he clearly wrote this in a rather unclear (and possibly drunk) state of mind. You tried your best to decipher his scrawly handwriting (which was rather hard in all honesty) but by the end of the letter, you were laughing to yourself, the little drawing of Chicken Little at the end as he signed off tickling your funny bone. You immediately flashed back to how you met Jae on a school exchange program, the first moment you met him already proving to be rather diabolical.
-
"Y/N your partner is..."
The teacher scanned the classroom for a certain someone before heaving a deep sigh.
"Jae, who's late."
Right at the moment, the door burst open, revealing a geeky boy with a sharp mohawk hairstyle and brown glasses hanging skewed off the bridge of his nose.
"Jae, you are exceptionally early today." The teacher's voice dripped with sarcasm before fixing an admonishing look upon his student. But the cheeky youth was clearly unfazed by the scolding (or the attention) and instead merely shoot his teacher a wide grin before defending himself.
"Sorry Mr Franklin I had to take time to look extra good today for the exchange students." He then winked at his teacher whom simply turned back to address the class; it was quite obvious that he was rather used to such situations from the boy. Jae then turned to you, finally aware of your presence.
"Hi are you my partner?"
"Yes."
"Hi my name is Jae. Sorry for being late, I actually overslept."
"It's alright, my name is Y/N."
"Yea I know."
You found out later from him that he had chosen you as his partner because of your interesting name, which he had described as 'pretty like you', causing you to turn into a tongue-tied mess. He didn't say that to flirt, he had meant that a geninue comment.
For the rest of the day, Jae led the pack, a natural orator that had managed to captivate all the students as he went on raptly about your school. You spent the next five days getting to know Jae very well, especially during lunch break where he led you away from the crazy lunch crowd towards the band room where both of you talked endlessly about everything ranging from America's history to embarrassing childhood stories. Time flew fast when you were having fun and before you knew it Jae was sending you off at the airport. You had just said goodbye to him and had just only turned towards the transit area when he called you again.
"Y/N wait! Could you...give me your address? I'll like be...erm...penpals ya know?"
He then passed you a marker but no paper.
"Jae do you have paper now?"
"No?"
"Give me your hand."
He stuck out his arm and you quickly wrote your address on his palm.
"I'll write back. Bye Jae!"
You then took off past the gates but little did you know that Jae's skin was still tingling from your touch.
-
You kept your promise and continuously wrote back and forth to him, both of you sharing your troubles and successes with one another. But the most memorable one had to be the one with the ring, the one where he suggested flying to meet you.
"Since you've been to California before, I thought I'd use the summer break to visit you in New York. The ring is for us to identify one another just in case our looks have changed too much since the last time we met HAHA. Let me know what you think about it?"
Of course you were ecstatic. You couldn't wait to see Jae again and you drove out to mail your letter even though it was 12am at night.
But a letter never came back.
You tried writing many more letters to him but you never got one back. It was as if he had dropped off the face of the earth. After a year, you simply stopped hoping for a reply and soon Jae slowly faded to the back of your memory as you got busy with being an adult.
But somehow, you still kept the ring, wearing it faithfully each day.
-
"Go to this concert with me?" Your childhood friend, Janice, that was currently living in Korea had pleaded with you using her famous puppy eyes, anticipating your rejection.
"Ok. But who are they? And what kind of group are they?"
"They're a band so they play their own instruments. And the name's DAY6!"
"I've never heard of them before so I'll give it a go."
"Yay! I'll pay for your ticket!"
"Really? How much must you like them to want to pay for me? "
"You'll see."
Indeed you will.
-
That night, you wore the ring on your middle finger as usual. When you entered, the hall was already crowded with fans, the excited buzzing had already began. Fans were wearing white wristbands as you were and they were also holding cute handmade banners filled with words of encouragement. You smiled at the adorable sight and felt this small bubble of joy growing within you - so this was an inkling of what it felt like to be able to see a band that you loved so much. You spotted six different instruments on stage: someone was on the rhythm guitar and another on the bass guitar. Someone would be playing both the synths and keyboard, an interesting combination for a band. The drums look majestic sitting at a spot higher than the rest, granting the drummer a greater view of the adoring crowd. Last but not least, the electric guitar. War flashbacks of Jae playing the electric guitar in the band raced through your mind and for a moment you could hear his laugh and see his infectious smile again. He quizzed you on the different instruments and you got most of them correct as you did now.
Jae would be proud of me I suppose
Before you had time to think further, the lights around the hall dimmed as the stage lights illuminated the 5 different spots on the stage. The members filed out one by one and Janice squeezed your hand particularly hard by the drummer came out. Manly body with boyish features: a man with dual charms; clearly he was her style. But when the electric guitarist came out, you felt your heart stop beating as the world came down to just you and him.
Jae was standing on stage right in front of you. He still had that same wide smile with straight teeth and he still wore his glasses wherever he went. The only difference was the blonde hair and weight loss; his baby fats in the cheeks were gone, giving his face a much more angular look.
Different look, but definitely still the same person.
His eyes scanned the crowd quickly as Sungjin did the opening mention. When he reached your area, you swore his gaze lingered on you a little longer, the gears in his head rapidly doing the math to calculate the probability of that being you. But before he could make up his mind, Dowoon's drums started off 'How can I say', giving him no time at all before he had to rock out on his own. For the rest of the night, Jae belted out song after song effortlessly but whenever they had breaks in between songs or special interaction with fans, he would always try to search for you amongst the thousands of people but his eyes showed that he wasn't sure. As for yourself, the same could be said. You weren't sure if you'd want to reveal yourself to Jae. But perhaps you were afraid of his reaction. Would he hate to see you? Would he remember you? But worst of all, would he pretend that he didn't know you when you knew he could? A million thoughts ate away at your mind throughout the concert, and you couldn't focus on anything much except for Jae. When the concert ended, you decided to flee before you did something stupid or had your heart broken by Jae.
"Y/N where are you going? There's still the fansign."
Oh right, she got VIP tickets for me too.
That means you'll have to face the inevitable: Jae. As the line in front of you got shorter and shorter, your face got redder and redder from many illogical things at once: embarrassment, anticipation, awkwardness. You thought of the worst case scenario that could happen later when you got to Jae, whom just had to be the last in the row. First was the bassist that looked ridiculously cute followed by the leader that spoke with a thick accent. The shy drummer could barely hold your eye he signed your poster for you and the adorable pianist gave you the sweetest, widest smile.
When you finally got to Jae, you said the lamest thing off the top of your head.
"Hi Jae. It's been a long time."
"Hi Y/N I've missed you."
You nearly cried there and then.
-
Jae POV
It's her. I swore it was her. I could recognise her from a million miles away. I rushed off stage once the concert was over to find her but Sungjin pulled me back before I could even take a step off stage. Then that's when I see her towards the end of the snaking line, her hands trembling slightly as she chewed on her nails, and that's why they say old habits die hard.
When her name fell past my lips now after so many years, she almost cried, her eyes turning red instantly. The staff was rushing her and I hastily signed her poster (across my face by accident) but before she could leave, I had to do something. Grabbing her arm like she did to me, I quickly wrote a message to her before letting her go.
-
"Meet me backstage later." - the note said.
What do I do now? What's he going to say?
"So how was it? Were they fantastic?"
"Absolutely."
"So who's your bias?"
"Jae."
"No wonder you lingered so long at his spot."
"Yea haha, hey would you mind waiting for me a little? I need to use the washroom."
"Sure. I'll wait for you at the entrance."
Once you were safely out of her sight, you took off in the backstage direction and before you could locate him, you felt a hand reach out to pull you into a storage closet.
There, surrounded by floor cleaners and mops, you met Jae again after so many years.
"Y/N there's so much to say to you but there's so little time...how do I even..."
"Slow down Jae. I'm going to stay in Korea for some time, we can always meet again to talk. It's just so good to see you again."
"It is. I'm sorry for disappearing so many years ago, I tried so hard so find you after that-"
To prevent him for rattling on, you grabbed his hand lightly.
"It's alright Jae, you can tell me all about it in future. For now...I'm just glad to see you again, that's all I can say."
You felt him twisting the ring and when you looked down, you found him wearing the same ring on the exact same finger.
"I can't believe you wear it after so long..."
"I could say the same."
"I wear it as a reminder to fulfill my promise to you."
"Well, I guess fate has given us a little push now."
"And I love it. Oh and sorry about the poster, I signed on my face in a hurry."
"Well, I won't be needing the poster much since I'll be seeing the man himself soon."
Jae smiled widely at your statement, holding onto your hand tighter so that we won't lose you again.
-
Epilogue
It was Christmas season but here you were hunched over your laptop, typing out the last few segments of your report for submission in 2 hours time. You were shivering badly in the cold; today was unnaturally cold with heavy snowfall and the heater was broken. You tried to ignore the biting cold and focus on the task at hand. Right at the moment, Jae walked over with a snuggie and draped it over your shoulder.
"Stay warm baby."
"Thanks Jae." You kissed the back of his hand before letting him go. Despite the additional layer, you were still shivering and you had to breathe some heat into your palms every few minutes to prevent your fingers from going numb.
"Here baby." Before you could register what was happening in your slow mind, a weight was lifted off your shoulders. Jae now had a regular blanket wrapped over himself as he wriggled his awkward body into the space between you and the couch. Spreading his legs out, he pulled you into his embrace as he wrapped his arms around your frame. The finishing touch was his head upon your shoulder as he stared ahead at your laptop screen. He was essentially koala-hugging you.
"Jae?"
"I'll keep you warm as you finish the report. Just write." He then kissed your temple before closing his eyes to rest whilst squeezing you slightly. Finding your way out of the thick blanket and his long arms, you rapidly typed out the last few segments and managed to hand in the report an hour early.
Closing your laptop softly, you turned back to Jae to slowly rouse him. Rubbing your thumb along his cheek, you mumbled against the side of his lips.
"Babe I'm done. You can wake up now."
"So fast?"
"Hmmm"
"That's great..." The end of his words dragged out as he let out a yawn, rubbing his eyes and stretched his hands above his head.
Taking advantage of his unguarded position, you decided to have some fun after a long day. Spotting the thin strip of his soft belly that was peeking out from underneath his blue stripped pyjamas, you launched a tickle attack, successfully catching him off guard. Jae yelped before bursting into laughter, completely unable to defend himself as he slowly deflated from laughing too much. Your mistake came when you decided to be nice; Jae immediately attacked from the sides and this went on till both of you somehow ended up on the couch with you on top of him. Once the giggles faded away, you looked down at the beautiful man that was now yours and some wire in your brain decided that now would be a good time to kiss him. Leaning down, you placed your lips on his and it made you giddy with happiness when you felt him smile into the kiss.
Breaking away, your hands went to play with soft hair, running your fingers through them. All this while appreciating the beauty of this man that you can now call yours.
"You should probably get some sleep, it's late."
And so you did. You fell asleep that night with your head tucked under his chin, your arms wrapped tightly around his torso.
#day6writersnet#day6 imagines#day6 scenarios#jae scenarios#jae imagines#day6 jae scenarios#day6 jae imagines#day6 jae#day6#park jaehyung
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2/10/18 Detroit recap
I’m just going to state for the record that the show was awesome :D I doubt if I can remember the order of all the songs but I will describe what I can remember under the cut. Here’s a blurry picture to start things off! (We got a little better later on, haha)
Ok, so we (my sister and I) had to drive a couple hours to get there, through roads that were predicted to be very snowy, so we tried to give ourselves a lot of time to get there… of course, life being the crazy thing it is, we ended up leaving later than we planned, so we were happy the roads turned out fine and we got there exactly at 7. We queued for about 45 minutes before they let us into the venue. It was cold but everyone was in good spirits!
We got inside, checked the winter gear, and hit the venue floor. We were hoping to get a good position (it was standing room only and a sold out show) so we were pretty thrilled to stake out a spot about 4 people-rows from the front. My sister had been to St. Andrews Hall for an Amanda Palmer concert, so she knew the room was tiny but the stage a bit tall, so this was actually more ideal than the front row. Here we are in our DIY concert shirts waiting for the show to start!
We had about an hour to wait, and despite the piped-in music on the PA the audience got restless and started making shadow hand-puppets on the front screen. There was a pretty funny melee between various shadow animals made by people in different rows, and some dude across the room threw up a Trekkie hand-sign so of course I joined him on that!
The band came out about 5 minutes after 9 and immediately started in on a high-energy couple of songs. New York City followed by I Left My Body, which was, as you’d expect, rocking!
At the first major talking break, Flansburgh asked Linnell what he’d done that day. Linnell said he’d gotten a chance to walk around a bit. He said it was Mars Field or something but wasn’t sure where. He and Flans settled on calling it the surface of Mars, and claimed it was littered with the corpses of aliens.
They pulled out Ana Ng fairly early in the first set, which I was thrilled for (that being in my top two favorite songs). Linnell’s keyboard playing was fantastic, and Marty did a top notch job too. Linnell sang the “I don’t want the world” lyric in our general direction and I couldn’t wipe the silly grin off my face! This was about when I figured out that other people were singing along, so I did too but super quietly so I wouldn’t bother the people around me. My sister didn’t let that worry her and ended up pretty much losing her voice, haha! The energy was really good and I was glad I’d stretched this morning because everything was super-danceable.
They brought out Curt Ramm, I think first for Hey Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal, which is great live with horns. They also capitalized on his talents for Racist Friend, which the audience (including us) got really into.
They pulled out a couple Pink Album favorites in the first set–Don’t Let’s Start, of course, and Nothing’s Gonna Change My Clothes. Both of these were great! They also did Mesopotamians, with a little lead-in about how it was historical stuff… everyone pretty much seemed to guess where they were going with that one!
Clippy got pulled out in the first set with a joke from Flans about how it was “the instrument that never came out of its box in your high school band”. They did I Like Fun, of course, and Flans did his cute “I’m going to take off now” pose while singing about parkour. Linnell looked over at him while he sang the line about being 58 like “I’m the one who’s 58, here.” They also did Cloisonné, and Flans switched the order around so that Linnell wouldn’t have to switch to accordion but he’d already put the accordion on so he had to switch back. Oh well, Flans tried! I love the duet between horn and clarinet in Cloisonné. And I love how happy Marty looks in this picture!
They rounded out the set with Particle Man and the Chandelier breakdown (getting the accordion out), Letterbox (with an intro from Flans about how they were going to sing lyrics with a lot of words in them) and When Will You Die. Linnell managed to fit Curt in super-fast, more or less in rhythm, as “I’m John and he is also John (and that’s Curt) and all of us are wondering…”
For the intermission, we waited restlessly for a bit, then they cued up the Last Wave video. I’m pretty sure it started with the original music to the Aerosmith/Run-DMC song and then seamlessly merged into a slightly chip-tuned version of Last Wave. The “antlers” line absolutely kills me. I managed to confuse my sister as to whether the music was the original or the TMBG song; I guess I forgot to show it for her before-hand.
When they returned, Flans introduced the Quiet Storm section, telling us it would be quiet but emotionally stormy. Since they played Self Called Nowhere, I guess that fits! They led off with Older, which was lovely on the contra-alto clari (like, how does Linnell switch between singing it and playing so easily?! Talk about breath support!) and then introduced the songs from, and about the 1840′s. People started yelling “Polk” but of course Tippecanoe comes first. The Quiet Storm was a nice break for our burned-out eardrums.
Bringing back the full band, plus Curt, they made everyone’s night with a beautiful rendition of Istanbul, with Curt managing to play both the trumpet and the trombone in the same song. Flans initially told us Curt was playing two trumpets, and after the song apologized to the one person in the audience with a music background who knew the difference between a trumpet and a trombone. I’m embarrassed to admit that wasn’t me… I was too busy enjoying the awesome solos that got added on to the ending. (My sister says she noticed, though. So I guess it was her!)
Linnell introduced the next song as “a song I wrote about a woman who lives underwater, which is titled Underwater Woman”.
They next did Spider, and Flans’ introduction made everyone think he was introducing Fingertips, so some people (including me) were confused for a second or two. Spider is really cute as a live song, particularly the way they sing the “uhnhhh”s. I think this was also the song they told us to clap in rhythm to, even if they begged us to stop. That led, of course, into The Guitar, which also holds up well live.
Then we got Number 3, which seemed to be an audience-favorite, as well as Whistling in the Dark, which is an us-favorite. Lots of clapping and stomping to that one! I was glad that I’d listened to the new album a bunch so I could follow the lyrics to When the Lights Come On, which is very loud and very good. They followed that immediately with Twisting, so I did my best to twist to that (not that I’m any great shakes at dancing, haha!) Continuing the sequence, they gave us Man It’s So Loud, which is also very danceable!
And with a drum count-in from Marty, we got my absolute favorite, No One Knows My Plan! No conga line, maybe Flans thought that would break the flow since we were all moving a lot anyway! Linnell got some serious air on that one (if I recall correctly)… how does he jump a foot and a half and keep his hands in the right place on the keyboard?!!
For encores, we started out with This Microphone. Flans apologized beforehand, telling us they’d just learned it and only played it successfully twice. “..in the future,” Linnell added. But it came off without a hitch, except I think Flans started the last chorus with “Killing is carting…” which made me laugh. Then they played Dr. Worm, followed by Birdhouse, and by that time everybody was singing, so it was basically an audience singalong. They waved goodbye and left, but the front screen camera on the audience clued us in that if we kept clapping we’d get a second encore, which turned out to be Dead, a warm and fuzzy ending (if songs about dying can be warm and fuzzy!) to a lovely night.
People started leaving, but I’d heard about the giving away of concert ephemera, so we worked our way forward and got a setlist and stickers for our trouble.
On our way out, we stopped to check out the t-shirt sales (I’ve been looking to grab the Science is Real shirt for a while) but it turned out they weren’t selling the women’s cut shirts. However, the merch guy liked our DIY shirts and asked for a picture, then gave us Marty Time buttons since we weren’t able to buy shirts.
Such a fun night! We got back thoroughly happy, very tired, and definitely interested in seeing their show again in the future!
EDIT:
Ok, here’s things I’m pretty sure I remembered wrong or missed when I wrote this out on like no sleep haha:
1.) We clapped in rhythm for Particle Man. Linnell at one point counted aloud a 3-against-2 rhythm to see if he could mess everybody up!
2.) I think the song Linnell was basically levitating on was The Guitar, which makes more sense since he wasn’t actually singing it. Still, How. Does. He. Do. That.
3.) There was a Future of Sound bit in The Guitar. It was cute.
4.) At one point, during the Quiet Storm, Linnell asked if maybe there could be less pot smell right in front of him (it was wafting from somewhere in front of stage right, where they were grouped). Flans pointed out that it was basically legal most places now. Linnell gave him a super dirty look!
5.) I think I Like Fun was actually in set 2, the Quiet Storm, like the set list says, with the addition of Curt, because I remember Marty was on his electronic drum kit for that. That means All Time What was the song they pulled Clippy out for in set 1.
6.) Why Does the Sun Shine was somewhere in set 1 also. I couldn’t catch all of the spoken parts; the crowd was a bit too rowdy around me at that point. But Linnell claimed that the heat and light from the sun came from various elements “…and… Stuff!” and I got the impression his mind had blanked for a second. Flans teased him a bit about it afterward. Linnell claimed he was just reading the teleprompter where it said to fill in "stuff". Flans pointed out how helpful it was to have the venue name written out for them on the stage, because while it used to seem really silly, he now understands that when you're on tour eventually you no longer know your own names, let alone the venue's.
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