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twistedtummies2 · 4 years ago

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Birthday Belly (LeonaXReader)

I wrote this yesterday for my own birthday. I didn’t really go into this with much of a plan, this story is 99% just me freestyling and whipping out some self-indulgent nonsense involving Leona Kingscholar and his appetite. It came out to about 4000 words, which is relatively short for MY stories on here. XD Hopefully you all will enjoy it.

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Living at the Ramshackle Dorm had, you thought, left you almost impervious to surprises. The 999 Happy Haunts who inhabited the old manor house had tried nearly every trick up their capes to spook you and shock you, and after dealing with so many dark mages for so long – facing demigods and fairy princes along the way – you didn’t think much could startle you. Today, you were going to be proven wrong. You sighed with some relief, removing your obligatory birthday sash and letting it drape over the arm-rest of the sofa as he leaned back and closed your eyes. Back in your homeworld, you had never really been much of a party person. You had never much cared for crowds, even among people you knew well; part of the joy of being one of only two (living) beings who called Ravenswood Manor home was that you were able to find privacy and peace fairly easily. However, despite not being a mage, and despite being so lonely there, your friends and the school itself had gone to a great deal of trouble to provide you with a party. You smiled wearily as you eyed the streamers and other decorations strung about your ground floor rooms. A huge banner reading “Happy Birthday…!” and followed by your name was hung over the fireplace, and piled up next to the spot where you’d installed your television and other such things was a stack of presents you had gotten from all your friends.

Ace had given you a set of playing cards and poker chips, winking as he promised to give you a chance to put them to use. Deuce, meanwhile, had been much more sensible, purchasing some cooking apparel he knew you could put to good use. Riddle Rosehearts, meanwhile, brought you some cherry tarts he and Trey had made together. Cater Diamond also appeared, and had bought a new external drive for your laptop computer. “I would have gotten you a new phone,” Cater had smiled. “But I didn’t think you needed one. Speaking of, BIRTHDAY SELFIE! COME ON OVER HERE…!” Idia hadn’t stayed for the party, but his brother Ortho had been happy to pop in. The two had pitched their cash together to buy you a new game system, along with a new game to play on it. Idia had personally sent a birthday card, as well; according to Ortho, his hands had been shaking so much trying to figure out what to write in it, he thought his brother’s fingers might fall off. All Idia had written in the card was, “Have a nice day,” probably because he had freaked out at the thought of saying anything else. Poor dear. Somebody – you weren’t sure who – had very, VERY wisely remembered to invite Malleus Draconia, who came with Silver. Silver spent most of the party sleeping, but Malleus had been kind enough to bestow a gift of his own, in the form of a leatherbound edition of The Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe. Naturally, Kalim had shown up, tugging Jamil along behind him. Each had a different gift to give: Kalim had brought a VERY expensive looking carpet, done in the ornate styling of his homeland. “It’s been in my family for…um…uh…” he had paused to try and count the years on his fingers…and eventually ran out of fingers AND toes to count on. “…A very, very long time! Like…SUPER long! I thought it might look nice in your bedroom or the ballroom or something! It’s, uh…it’s not too much, is it?” Gods bless that Baby Otter. He needed so many hugs. Jamil’s gift had been much more reserved: a mancala game box, which he had presented all while trying not to blush under his black hood. Vil had stopped by for a short while; he’d only stayed briefly, claiming the “decadent atmosphere of your gloomy domicile” would mess up his hairdo. (Go figure.) However, he had kindly brought you a gift in the form of custom-made suit of clothes he had ordered from his own personal tailor: some of the finest and most formal wear you had ever seen in your life. “Now you can actually look halfway presentable, instead of resembling a half-baked potato, next time there’s a big event,” he had smiled, as if he had been doing you a tremendous favor. Well. With clothes like this, you weren’t going to argue or complain. Azul had stopped for a brief “hello and goodbye” visit; he actually wanted to stay longer – Floyd, who had been with him, seemed particularly sad he couldn’t stay and squeeze his favorite “Little Shrimp” half to death all afternoon and evening…and in his case, that phrase was probably literal – but the Mostro Lounge was open that day, and he didn’t want to leave Jade in charge of things alone for TOO long at the office. The octopus man had brought you a bracelet covered in small seashells: simple, but surprisingly sweeter than you had expected. Floyd, meanwhile…he just hugged you. “What’s a better present for Shrimpy than a nice, tight SQUEEZE from their bestest, most favorite eel-person…riiiiiiight?” The safety of your spine and lungs demanded you agree and hug Floyd back. Ruggie and Jack had been among the first to show up. The latter had brought a hastily-wrapped DVD: a movie entitled “The Wolf of Pumpkin Hollow.” “I didn’t get this because I actually care,” he had clarified, looking everywhere but at your face and scratching the back of his white-eared head. “Just…everyone else would have thought it was rude if I didn’t get you something. Not that it matters what they think! Just…didn’t want to have to put up with it.” He was such a puppy. He truly was. Not only was Ruggie one of the first to arrive, he turned out to be THE first to give you your gift: a box of doughnuts. All glazed. “My grandma used to tell me: ‘Ruggie, get people the same kinds of gifts you’d want them to get you.’ Well, I can’t think of much I want more than doughnuts!” he sang out with an innocent smile. “You just wanted to have some to eat yourself, didn’t you?” you couldn’t help but smirk. Ruggie had gasped, seemingly offended…only to eventually ask if he could have some. The four remaining doughnuts – which you had to sneak away while the hyena wasn’t looking – were now on a plate in your fridge. You’d eat them later. Others had come and gone throughout the day; none of them had gifts to bring, but they had been happy to pop in, give well-wishes, and enjoy the party for a while. Now, however, all the guests were gone; even Grim had left, as you had asked him for some alone time that night. He and the gang from Heartslabyul were going to have a sleepover as a result. Despite the smile on your face as you looked over at your gifts, there was a hint of sadness to your expression. The one person whose presence you’d been looking forward to most hadn’t come. You’d asked his dorm-mates if they knew where he was or what he was doing, but none of them told you. Most of them very clearly had no clue…except for Ruggie. You got the feeling he DID know, he just wasn’t telling. Honestly, that didn’t settle your mind much. Your smile faded completely, and you closed your eyes once more, sighing through your nose…this time with a hint of despondency. Had he forgotten it was your birthday? Was he with somebody else right now? Maybe he was sleeping somewhere, like the big, lazy kit he was…some part of you – you couldn’t tell what part – kind of hoped that was all it was. He probably wasn’t hurt or sick…if he had been you’d think Ruggie would have told you… You glanced out the window. Evening was turning into night. You huffed softly through your nostrils, and stretched a bit where you sat. The party had worn you out more than you thought. You shook your head to clear it of your more perturbing thoughts, and began to wonder if you should just get to bed early tonight… A knock came at the door, jolting you to a more attentive state. You stood up from the ouch and headed out through the hall to the foyer. You wondered who it was…had one of the guests left something behind? As you approached the door, you adjusted your pristine white suit – another obligatory item for those celebrating a birthday at Night Raven College – which must have made whoever was on the other side impatient: they knocked again. “One moment, I’m here!” you called out, and opened the door. “Who’s-?” You froze, the word “there” dying before it ever reached your larynx. The first thing your eyes took in was the familiar, dimly-glowing pair of green ones staring back at you, as well as the dark mane and leonine ears and tail that accompanied their owner. A scar was slashed across one of the two eyes. The second thing – and the one that truly made you freeze – was the ENORMOUS, bare belly that was only inches away from you. The skin was tanned and smooth and supple-looking, the organ swollen to the size of a large watermelon, and only slightly less taut. The navel looked like the center of a maelstrom, drawing your attention towards that bloated gut as it let out a deep, burbling rumble…just before a black-clad hand slapped over it, hiding it from sight. At the same time, another hand suddenly scooped itself under your chin…and you found your head being tilted up, your eyes now locking on a pair of perfect-looking, velvety lips…which then parted to reveal a gaping, red mouth, dripping with saliva and framed by two rows of pointed, pearly fangs. You barely had time to take in the view of this glistening, slimy orifice…before your ears rang and your nose crinkled as two words were burped up. Right in your face. “HAAAAPPY…BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRP-DAY!” The belch was followed by a light sigh and a chuckle as Leona Kingscholar patted his stomach proudly. It jiggled at his touch. He smirked as he took in your expression: a loopy, flushed look was on your face. You were swaying so much that if he removed his hand from under your chin at that moment, you might have just toppled over. “Hm-hm-hmmm…did you like that?” he purred, smoothly. You nodded dumbly, still smiling a loopy, dazed smile as the sound reverberated in your ears, and your nose tingled from the lingering odor of the lion’s gut gas: a strong, heady, meaty smell that twined through the pockets of your gray matter, practically putting you in a trance for several long seconds. Finally, you found your voice. “…Where have you been?” “Preparing your present,” Leona said, as if that should have been obvious, and gently nudged you back as he entered the house and swaggered past you. With every step, his hips swung, and you found your blush seemed to be permanent as you watched them rock and sway as he strutted towards the living room. You followed him as if a leash had been tied ‘round your neck, and watched as he flopped onto your couch, gut sloshing with every little motion of his form. He was dressed in his usual clothes, but his gut was so massive it caused his mustard-colored shirt to ride up, exposing his belly to the world. The lion demi growled as he reached down; his waistband was still buttoned up, and clearly it was causing him discomfort. His fingers fumbled for the belt buckle…and he frowned as he couldn’t quite get it to cooperate. “Tch. Figures,” he grumbled. “After that entrance…pain in my ass…” The familiar phrase snapped you out of your stupor, and you chuckled, rolling your eyes. You sat down next to your princely boyfriend, and shooed his hands away. He frowned, growling indignantly, but allowed you to fiddle with his buckle, and finally managed to work it off… POPK! ZZZRRRIIIP! GUHBLORLSH! Leona let out a sound between a sigh and a grunt as – the moment the buckle was released – his trouser button gave up the ghost, popping open as the zipper flew down, the sheer weight and pressure of his belly forcing them open. He sighed as his belly poured into his lap like a mass of mocha-colored dough, wobbling as it noisily burbled. “UUUUUUUURRRRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAARRRRRRRP!” he belted out. “Oof…that felt good…” You blushed bright red, helpless to do anything but nod; you were already starting to tremble at so many…APPEALING things happening all at once. Leona smirked anew as he noticed your expression, leaning back a little further against the sofa cushions as his scarred eye flashed with a superior gleam. “You didn’t think I forgot, did you?” “How much did you eat?” you asked, marveling at the size of his belly as you fingers fidgeted and twitched, looking for something to do. You suddenly felt a little parched… “Mmmmm…not enough,” Leona growled, and grinned wider, revealing his pointed teeth. “I could fit more in there, I’m sure…” He licked his lips in a sultry, almost inviting way. You couldn’t keep yourself from letting out a shaky, shuddering sound as you shivered, a mixture of warmth and cold flickering across your spine. Leona chuckled – his gut bounced with his mirth, and tilted his head back with a sigh. “Ahhhhhh…went to my favorite buffet and helped myself,” he elaborated as he gave his belly a few hearty slaps. “Pure meat, every ounce.” You nodded slowly, dumbly. Leona snorted through his nose, raising an eyebrow as he saw you openly ogle his stomach. “Hmph. Are you just gonna stare at it all night, Herbivore?” he grunted. He waited till you looked up at him before going on: “Go ahead. It’s not gonna rub itself.” Your heartbeat quickened and you smiled widely. Leona grimaced and snarled. “Oi…just rub, don’t gimme those eyes…you look like that brat back home…” You chuckled – it was hard not to giggle, honestly – and gratefully helped yourself to your “present.” Your hands quickly fell over Leona’s bloated gut as he stretched his arms over the back of the couch. You scooted closer, and quivered at the intense warmth of the half-lion’s greedy, globular gut. Your palms and fingers began to lightly run across his girth, stroking his belly, just to get a feel of the texture and temperature. His flesh was silky-smooth, making it so hard to resist just pressing your face against it and nuzzling into his belly… You did resist though. At least for the moment. Instead, your fingers began to knead and massage the belly of your beau, pressing down onto the thick soup you could feel churning away inside his bowels. You prodded experimentally, almost as if trying to distinguish each bit of food from the next…but there was no way you could. Whatever Leona had gobbled up was now little more than a uniform mush being swirled about by his strong stomach muscles. His insides warbled and rumbled, as if in response to your ministrations. Leona sighed, closing his eyes and savoring the way you massaged his distended tanker. In truth, the lazy lion didn’t need much of an excuse to stuff himself…but you didn’t care that much. Whether he did this for himself, or for you, as he claimed, the end result was the same. “Mmmmm…that’s it…keep it up,” he mumbled. “Wasn’t planning on stopping,” you said, more to yourself than him, but he snickered anyway. “Heh heh…good. Prey like you should be happy to have a chance like this,” he said, and playfully patted your cheek, causing your blush to intensify. A spike of ego shot up in you, and you purposefully pressed down harder against his stomach. It let out a HUMONGOUS groan, and Leona’s eyes widened and his cheeks ballooned…before he let out another sloppy, rumbling belch. “BUUUUUUUHHHHHHHUUUUUUUURRRRRRLLLLLLLUUUUUUP! Haaah…oi. Not so rough,” he growled, narrowing his eyes at you, tail lashing and thumping against the sofa cushions. “Sorry,” you smiled innocently. “You had so much hot air in there, it clearly had to be let out.” Leona’s eyes narrowed further. “I could turn you into dust right here and right now,” he said, warningly. “I guess you could,” you said, smoothly, and then traced a finger around the rim of his deep, dark trench of a navel. The effect was instantaneous. Leona tensed up for a second, inhaling sharply through his teeth…then sighed and relaxed, all but melting into his seat, eyes fluttering closed again as he purred louder than ever. You smirked triumphantly, as you stuck your finger into his navel and wiggled it around a bit. “Still want to turn me into dust?” you teased. Leona could only moan. He moaned even louder as you cupped one hand on the underside of his belly: the softest, warmest, most sensitive portion of his abdomen. You gently rubbed your hand against them, and traced your fingers over his sides. You could hear his toes curl in his boots; his tail you could SEE curl into a spiral shape as he bit his lip with pleasure. “I’ll take that as a no,” you observed, a dreamy sort of sigh upon your lips as you were honestly enjoying this just as much as he was, a fact you made clear you when you half-consciously murmured: “You’re so SOFT…” “Mmmm…I’ll be softer once it’s all digested,” Leona mumbled. “Vargas is probably gonna complain…think he’d pester me about that stuff if I ate ‘im?” “I think if you ate Coach Vargas, you’d just get a bellyache,” you said, not wanting to add that someone as egotistical as Leona eating someone as showboating as Vargas probably meant all the weight would to his head… …Cracks like that weren’t funny, and could get you bitten. The second part you didn’t mind as much as one might think, to be fair. …You really needed to see a shrink… Leona just scoffed, unaware of your thoughts as you continued to rub and massage his belly. You gave the side of his belly a few hearty thumps, watching the way his belly shifted and jiggled like a water balloon. His stomach groaned and churned rhythmically, squelches and squeals of liquid being compressed and stirred echoing just beneath the luscious skin of the half-lion prince. It sounded like a huge vat of semi-solid mash being pumped and processed in a factory…a sound some might have considered nauseating, but you just bit your lip, rubbing and kneading more vigorously as you heard pockets of gas being released. As you kneaded and pressed down, Leona would BELCH and BURP periodically. Each was short and low, which only made you rub his gut more vigorously. He gave you a bored sort of look as he realized what you were doing. “Didn’t get enough to drink at your party, did you, you thirsty little Herbivore?” “Not even close,” you responded, without skipping a beat. Leona rolled his eyes, and held up a finger in a “one moment” gesture. He then curled that same finger down, balling that hand into a fist…and pumped his fist against his chest once, twice, thrice…before unleashing a true wall-rattler, which flapped his lips and made him go crosseyed. “GYYYYUUUUUHHHHHEEEEERRRRRWWWOOOOAAAAARRRRRIIIIIPLK!” Leona sighed as the eruption came to an end, and snorted as you squeaked at the sound. “Happy now?” he drawled boredly. “Very,” you peeped, patting his belly thankfully. Leona rolled his eyes as he scratched the side of his gut with his leather-tipped fingers, making it slosh under your palm. You quivered. His lips quirked. “Tch. You’re such a snack,” he muttered. “It’s amazing nobody’s already gobbled you up…” “Just lucky so far, I guess,” you shrugged, and scratched his belly with your own fingers. Leona let out a non-committal rumble…then smirked a bit. “We could fix that, you know,” he purred in a slippery, sly way. You froze, and looked up at him slowly, a little confused and slightly apprehensive. Leona smiled back, eyes half-lidded; the dominant, powerful, but affectionately amused smile that always left you shivering for all the right reasons. Then, one of his his hands lifted, and cupped your cheek. He brushed a thumb against it, and you smiled gently back… …Just before that same hand slid forward, and wrapped around the back of your head. “Here,” he growled, commandingly, as he began to force you downwards. “Listen. Feel.” You didn’t have much choice, and it wasn’t as if you would disobey if you could. You surrendered easily as he eased you down against his belly, pressing your head down and holding it firmly, curling his hand so one of your was right above his navel. You felt your chest flutter as the warmth of his body was now right up against your face, and the deep, thick GRRRROOOOLLLLLLG sounds of his ever-hungry belly echoed in your ear like rolling thunder. You stayed perfectly still; time and place seemed to fade into nothingness. All that mattered was the moment: you were hypnotized by his belly, barely conscious of anything. He started speaking, but it took you a few seconds to realize what he was even saying. “…I’d you’d like it, huh?” were the first words you made out, followed by still more: “I could swallow you alive, Herbivore. You’d slither right down my throat, curl up in my stomach…and never come out. I’d just fall asleep, and let you stay there. It wouldn’t have to hurt: one big burp, and your air would be history. Then, you’d go straight to my hips…my thighs…my ass…even my belly. Every part of me you love most.” He paused, purring as his stomach let out a greedy, longing rumble. “How does that sound for your birthday, Herbivore?” he crooned. “How would you like to spend your birthday – your LAST birthday – turning into more of the body you’re so in love with. To be the snack you’re supposed to be. To spend the rest of eternity as just a part of me.” None of these were spoken as questions. You shivered and let out a whimpering sound – not necessarily one of fear, either – as you heard him lick and smack his lips. He leaned down and sniffed at you, purring in the back of his throat. “Mmmmmmm…I could make that happen. Right here. Right now.” You bit your lip; as his stomach rumbled, you closed your eyes. You could picture yourself inside of there…partially submerged in acid and bubbling goo…embraced on every side by his powerful muscles…hearing him belch with satisfaction above and around you…rubbing over you as you were steadily digestedinside of him… You took longer than most people probably would before speaking. “I know you could,” you said, very softly, then added, “Maybe someday you will.” Leona blinked…then puffed with amusement, his smile growing slightly more affectionate as he ran his fingers through your hair the way a cat might. “Not ready to make this birthday your last, huh?” You opened one eye and carefully shook your head. “If it means next year I could get one as good as this, or better, definitely not,” you responded, without skipping a beat. Leona clucked his tongue, and removed his hand, letting it rest against the back of the sofa. He chuffed as your remained where you were, despite no longer being forced down. “Kinky little morsel,” he mumbled. “Guilty,” you responded in a slightly muffled voice as you freely nuzzled his abdomen, smirking as he purred anew, clearly enjoying it. Leona chuckled, and nudged you, indicating he wanted you to look up at him again. You did…and watched as his cheeks ballooned with gas as he caught a particularly low, gassy burp in his mouth… “HHHHRRRRMMMMLLLLRRRRPH…phoosh.” …Before blowing the residual fumes into your face, almost like a kiss. You nearly fainted dead away. Leona grinned. “Good?” was all he said. “Marry me now.” Leona barked out a laugh and gave your hair a ruffling, then shut his eyes and reclined peacefully once more. “Get back to rubbing, meat,” he growled. “Or I might just swallow you whether you want it or not. Don’t let your gift go to waste.” You smiled and eagerly got back to work, kissing and nuzzling and rubbing his belly worshipfully, without any sign of restraint. Leona’s purring heightened as you pampered his plumpened middle. “Mmmmm…happy birthday, Herbivore,” he growled. “Maybe next year, I’ll add you to my hips…” At the rate things were going…that was starting to sound like a promise more than anything else. If so…you could hardly wait till next year.

The End

#leona kingscholar #leona #disney #twisted wonderland #kink fic #fanfic #vore teasing #post-stuffing #belly goodness #belching #burping #birthday story

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jtsfavslut · 4 years ago

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Fine Line Track 02: WATERMELON SUGAR [G.D]

Description: Two teens spent a hot summer in Hawaii together.

Warnings: Smut!!

Word Count: 6.2K+

‘Tastes like strawberries, On a summer evening’ - Watermelon Sugar Harry Styles

Her lips wrapped around the small striped straw. Red and white lines swirling throughout the straw as her cherry pink lips stained the paper. A satisfied sigh fell past her lips as the cold drink slid down her warm throat, her lips curling into a small smile as the summer heat got washed away with her juice.

"Are you just going to sit there all summer?" Grayson shouted, shaking her up, not expecting him until later in the day.

"Maybe, maybe not," she smiled, lifting the glasses off her eyes and onto her forehead, in attempts of getting a good look at her best friend who she hadn't seen in months.

"I hope not. There's a lot to do around here," he muttered as he walked towards her, her body laying on one of those deck chairs by the pool, a red, skimpy bikini covered the precious belongings that Grayson tore his eyes off of, not wanting to disrespect her, as he should.

"Gimme a hug Dolan, don't just stand there," she smiled up at him, extending her hands as he leaned down, wrapping them around his shoulders, a hint of his cologne bringing nothing but happiness to her nose.

"You've been working out huh?" Her eyes traveled down his large build. It was obvious Grayson had grown over the past months.

"Gotta blow out the steam and stress," he shrugged, sitting on the chair next to her, "How 'bout you?"

"Me? I just meditate or hit the gym when I feel like I need to, you know?" She replied, bringing her glasses back down to her eyes, trying to block out the sun who seemed to be on its highest power that day.

"I get it. Gotta clean the energy 'round you," he mumbled as he closed his eyes, the stress from the past months lifting off his shoulder ever since his plane landed.

"How were your classes?" she yawned, not because she was tired but because of how free she felt.

"Harder than last year. Last week, I thought about dropping out," he chuckled making her laugh.

"The Grayson Dolan considering giving up? Engineering must be fucking hard then," she took another sip from her drink, a teasing scoff coming from Grayson once he saw the 'MelonBerry' bottle in her hands.

"How the fuck did you bring those to Hawaii?"

"Brought em' on the plane. Wrapped them up real nice and put em' in my suitcase," she chuckled, "You want one?"

"I'm good, thanks,"

"Suit yourself," she shrugged before taking another sip, letting out a loud and dramatic 'ahh' to crawl up Grayson's skin.

"You should stop drinking that before you turn into one," Grayson muttered with his eyes closed, a teasing smirk on his lips as a scoff came from Y/N.

"Fuck off, Bailey," she laughed, flipping him off, a content smile on her face, "I missed you," she sighed.

They haven't seen each other since months prior, each going to different colleges, each in a separate and distant state. Grayson came up with the idea to meet in Hawaii, saying it would be a fun experience for her. Y/N argued, claiming it was too expensive, and it wasn't in her budget. But Grayson being Grayson, sent her an email later that day, a round trip to Hawaii from Boston, and pictures of the Air BNB he rented. She called him with tears in her eyes, nagging him about spending an unnecessary amount of money on her, which of course, he simply shrugged off.

"I missed you too, and your annoying voice," Grayson replied, making her scoff, "I'm serious! It gets lonely when you're not around,"

"Boston would be better with you, you know? Life isn't as fun without you," she sighed, placing her bottle of juice down before getting up from her chair, taking her glasses off, carefully placing them down before walking towards the pool, slowly going down the small staircase that led to the water.

Small goosebumps rose through her skin as the feeling of the water and Grayson's eyes made contact with her soft skin. "You coming Gray?" Her voice came out soft and angelic, nothing but innocence within her words.

"I'm good," He never took his eyes off her, eyes being hooked to every inch of her skin, cursing himself out for every blink he made, as if he were to close his eyes for too long she would disappear from his eyes, "for now,"

"Your loss," she shrugged before completely submerging under the water, hair wet and sticking to her skin as she came back up, giggles falling past her lips as she bit them, looking directly towards Grayson, a teasing look on her face as she stared at him.

"Don't do that," he glared, "Don't look at me like that Y/N, come on,"

"Like what? I'm literally just inviting you to swim Grayson, but whatever," she shrugged and went back in the water, causing Grayson to roll his eyes. He forced himself to think about disgusting things, not wanting to feel or look at his best friend the way he was.

. . .

"How many days are we staying here? I forgot," Y/N asked as she walked to the couch, a giant blanket engulfed her body, as she made her way over to the large living room.

"A month," Grayson replied, not looking up from his phone, his thumbs quickly tapping on the screen as he typed something.

"Wow, a month," she whispered before getting up from the couch, not even a minute from when she first sat down, she walked over to the kitchen.

Grabbing a nice bottle of her 'MelonBerry' juice she walked back to the couch, she stood before Grayson, a pout on her lips as she extended her arm to him, "Can you open this for me, please?"

He grabbed the bottle from her hand, fingers touching against each other as he did so, small currents of energy running through each other's skins, Grayson took a rather large sip after opening it, making Y/N send him a glare, "I thought you didn't like these?" She asked, turning her head to the side, slightly squinting her eyes as she looked at Grayson.

"Wanna see what you taste like," He smirked, looking at her, trying to see any sort of change in her expression, but nothing. Y/N decided to let the comment remain unheard, "It's sweet, tastes like strawberries,"

"It's called MelonBerry Grayson. Melon for watermelon, berry for strawberry," Y/N replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it sort of was, and Grayson just did it to get under her skin, "Anyways, thank you for drinking half the fucking bottle," she scoffed once she looked inside the red translucent glass bottle, Grayson's sip taking almost half of the bottle.

"Can't help it, it's so, so good," Grayson's voice was deep and rough, a teasing tone to it, making Y/N's skin shiver, the small hairs in the back of her neck standing up with every syllable he spoke.

She shook her head, sitting down on the couch. She no longer felt cold, taking the giant blanket off her body, leaving her in a pair of Pajama shorts, and a small white tank top, "It really is good, 's why I drink it so much,"

Grayson's eyes traveled down her body, her nipples being outlined by the small, and sort of tight white shirt, her thighs were almost bare, and for once Grayson felt like losing it, "You hungry?" He asked, stopping his mind from going to forbidden places.

"Mhm," she hummed with the straw in her mouth, quickly pushing it away from her mouth with her tongue, "I stopped at a grocery store before coming here. I bought pizza dough, we can make it if you want,"

"Let's do it," he got up from the couch, walking to the kitchen as Y/N followed, she got all the ingredients out before washing her hands, she took some flour sprinkling it on the counter before placing the dough on it, carefully and smoothly massaging it with her hands as Grayson watched.

"You wanna try it?" she asked and he nodded his head, before she could move, he locked her in, placing his body behind her's, his hand landing next to hers, "Not what I meant, but okay," she shook her head before she began work with the dough again, Grayson's head landed on her shoulder, his warm, yet cold breath sending shivers down her spine with every breath he took.

"This is fun," he whispered and she nodded her head, Grayson grabbed her hands, tightly holding them in his before moving his hands up to her shoulders, "You're stressed, M' working on your shoulders and you do that," he whispered against her neck as Y/N stayed frozen, she quickly shook her head, her hands started working on the dough as she closed her eyes, Grayson's hands working wonders on her neck.

"Does it feel good, Y/N?" Her name sounding different when it left his mouth, the entire question didn't feel like it was relating to a simple, friendly massage, "Answer the question,"

"Mhm, your hands are good," she nodded her head, opening her eyes, internally shaking off whatever was going on, "Really good,"

"Gray, it's done," she whispered, knowing the pizza was ready for the sauce and the rest of the things, "I'm hungry,"

"Where's the sauce?" He took her hands off her shoulder, Y/N suddenly felt cold and lonely, simply pushing it away she pointed towards the jar filled with the red sauce.

Waiting for the pizza was hell for both Grayson and Y/N. They crossed a line and were now suffering the consequences. Nobody dared to say a word, both purposely lost themselves in their phones until the pizza, where Y/N decided to break the silence, "What are we doing tomorrow?" She asked after swallowing the bite she had taken

"To the beach, and I know about this secret waterfall that we could go the day after," Grayson shrugged, locking his phone and placing it on the table.

"Secret waterfall?"

"Yeah, it's in this creek, but it's hiding away. Ever since I found it, I go there all the time," Grayson explained and Y/N nodded her head, "Come, here you got something," Grayson leaned over the table, placing his thumb on the corner of her mouth.

She didn't actually have anything, he just wanted to touch her, "There, all done,"

"Well, just wake me up tomorrow, you always get up before me, good night," she got up from her chair, throwing her plate in the trash and walking to her room, to shower and try and sleep. Sleep was something that was not in the schedule because it was almost 2 am and she found herself scrolling through TikTok.

"Can't sleep?" Grayson asked, knocking on her door, "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, been up the whole time," She replied as he walked in, sitting down on her bed, "You?"

"Same, too many thoughts," He sighed, laying his head down on a pillow.

"Wanna talk about it?" She asked, extending her blanket over to him.

"I don't know. It's just weird, we haven't seen each other in months, and I don't know it's different," he yawned, taking a look around the room. Her suitcase was neatly placed in the corner of her room, her makeup was spread out on top of the dresser, and her shoes were all laid out in a straight line by a wall.

"Different in what way?" Her eyes were closed, tiredness taking over her body at the wrong time, she wanted to talk to Grayson but she was slowly drifting away with every word he spoke.

"I don't know. Just different,"

"Y/N get up," Grayson groaned for what seemed the millionth time in the morning, forgetting how hard it was to wake her up.

"Shut up, m' trying to sleep" she muttered, nuzzling her face into the pillow, in an attempt to block out the sunlight that was coming from the window.

"And I'm trying to go to the beach, so get your fat ass up," he said, ripping the blanket off her body, causing her to finally wake up.

"My ass is perfect, now get out," She rolled her eyes, putting on her slides before walking towards the bathroom.

"Sure is," shouted walking out of her room.

…

"I know you are not going to sit there all day," Grayson complained as Y/N sat on a beach chair, white, heart-shaped glasses sat over her eyes, a copy of 'In Watermelon Sugar' in her hands

"What is it with you and watermelons?" Grayson scoffed and Y/N rolled her eyes, the attitude filled action not being visible to Grayson due to her sunglasses

"I just like them, and they're good too," she replied back, her tone was monotone, all her emotions being poured into every word she read, "And they're cute,"

"Okay, can you just enjoy the world around you for once?" Grayson was upset that the fact that Y/N hadn't been paying attention to him ever since they arrived at the beach, she had been too busy with the book, a book that she had read more than enough times.

"Fine," she groaned, folding the corner of the page she was at a bit, an annoyed expression on her face, "What do you want to do?"

"Good just follow me," he smirked grabbing her small hand in his hand, he led her down a path, a part of the beach that was secluded away from everything, just a few adults that were laying down a distant couple of feet away, Y/N was glad she left all her important belongings in the car, not trusting a bunch strangers around her stuff.

"Look at the turtles," he smiled pointing over the small turtles that were floating and swimming around near the shore.

Y/N's hand flew to her mouth, a small giggle falling past her lips as she looked at them, "Oh god, they're so cute! I hope no one does anything to them,"

"They can't, people are watching them," Grayson explained and she nodded her head.

"Good. I can't stand people hurting animals," she huffed, she placed her hands on her hips.

Grayson finally caught a good look of her body. A mustard-yellow bandeau and high waisted swimsuit covered the parts of her body she wanted to keep private. The color matching perfectly against her golden skin, something she was thanking the bright sun for. Her hair was a loose and messy bun that sat at the top of her head, and her glasses still covered her eyes, and a small cross necklace adorned her neck, "This is cute'

Y/N took off her glasses, a smirking Grayson was standing before her, his hand slowly reaching to the waistline of her bottoms, his finger grazing the hem of them, "Real cute,"

"Thanks. I got it off Fashion Nova," she gave him an innocent smile, as she internally discombobulated, "Your shorts are cute," she chuckled looking at his shorts, just plain dark blue shorts.

"Thanks, I don't know where I got them from," his hand moved from her waistline to her actual waist, mentally groaning after he got no reaction from her again.

"Last one to get in the water has to give the other a pedicure," Y/N shouted before taking off and running towards the light blue ocean

"You cheated, you know that right?" Grayson glared at Y/N as she placed her legs on top of his.

"No rules were spoken Bailey, now get to it," she said pressing the heel of her foot against his thigh, a soft hiss escaping Grayson before he huffed.

"You don't even need a pedicure," he rolled his eyes after looking at her pedicured feet, her nails were neatly colored with a white polish, and her feet were so soft.

"Don't complain, I could've had crusty musty feet, now get to it," she groaned, she relaxed back into the couch, one he felt Grayson doing what owed her since he lost.

His brain worked rather quickly, coming up with a plan once she closed her eyes. He slowly moved his hand up to her ankle, his finger tracing the small sun tattoo she had gotten done. He remembered it was her first tattoo, getting it done on their senior trip in high school. It was a small tattoo shop in Chicago, they all had gotten tattoos with fake IDs. That day Grayson got a small door behind his knee, they were all meaningless tattoos that sometimes they regretted getting. He was now at her calf, and his plan was not working, he heard a small snore come from her mouth so he gave up before moving to her other leg.

Maybe Y/N was going to be harder to crack than he thought.

Y/N wasn't actually asleep, but knowing that if her eyes were open, they would give away her reaction to his touch, so she closed her eyes, until she actually drifted off.

This time, it wasn't Grayson knocking on her door. It was her knocking on Grayson's, a quiet 'come in' was heard so she opened the door, the sight of a shirtless Grayson in bed making her knees feel like jelly, her panties to dampen, her heart to accelerate, and her body temperature to rise.

Maybe it was the fact that they were spending a month together. Or that they haven't seen each other in months. Or simply because their bodies had changed, matured in a way.

Grayson took notice of how her tits were bigger than last time, and so was her ass. Her face was different, her lips were plump and pinker from her gloss, her lashes were longer, and her hair stopped right before her shoulders making her jawline more defined, her eyes were shiny, with a hint of something Grayson still hasn't been able to determine.

Grayson's body was buff, his biceps and every muscle defined. His hair was long, and Y/N had to say it was her favorite so far. His hands were bigger, His back had grown, but in a good way, he was taller. His body was perfectly proportioned. Not to mention that in the past two days Y/N noticed that his sense of fashion was better, wearing something other than a black t-shirt with grey boxer shorts.

"You okay? You look sick," Grayson's face filled with concern, her face flushed, a hint of embarrassment flashed in her eyes for a slight second before she shook it off.

"Yeah, my room's just really hot right now," it wasn't, it was cold, colder than his at that.

"Do you wanna stay here? With me?" she nodded her head, slipping under the covers in the space he made for her. Her body's temperature finally stabilized.

Her head subconsciously landed on Grayson's chest. His heartbeat being some sort of lullaby causing her eyes to slowly close as a wave of tiredness consumed her, "Night Gray"

"Night Y/N" he repeated before she slowly drifted off, her mind making up inappropriate and forbidden scenarios as she slept.

…

"Is it far away?" Y/N asked as Grayson drove away.

They were headed towards the secret waterfall Grayson acclaimed so much. Y/N had woken up in an annoyed mood, every single little thing bothering her right into her soul. And Grayson was not dealing so well with it, not after she glared at him for asking a simple question.

"An hour and a half," he answered and a loud groan came from Y/N, making Grayson roll his eyes.

Y/N spent the hour and a half long drive sleeping, coming in and out of her daze. Unfortunately, she was as Grayson would call it 'bitchier', after her small nap.

"Can you drop the attitude for like one second?" Grayson asked and she did nothing but send him a glare, deciding to stay quiet instead of saying something she might regret, she walked away laying her towel on the ground, sitting down, and admiring the view.

Medium sized waterfalls surrounded a small body of water at the bottom, they weren't as tall as she thought they would be, so she considered maybe jumping in them once or twice.

"Let's skinny dip," Grayson suggested standing in front of Y/N, a loud laugh coming from her throat.

"Are you crazy? Out of your mind much," She shook her head, leaning down on her towel.

"There's no one around, so why not," Grayson shrugged, she turned her head to look around.

There wasn't a single soul there, except theirs of course, "Fine. But turn around, no peeking," she finally gave in.

There was nothing to lose, well only if someone decided to go to the waterfall, at the same time.

She slowly peeled her yellow bottoms off, followed by the top part of her bathing suit, and if anyone was secretly watching, her body would be fully exposed to them, "Okay, your turn," her shyness suddenly went a wave.

She was starting to crave pleasure. Things she was sure only Grayson could give her, or what she thought he could, "You could peek now," Grayson turned around, jaw slightly dropping at the sight of his naked best friend.

"Hello? We don't have all day," she snapped her fingers in his face, a small smirk on her face, "Okay never mind," she began to turn around before a pair of arms scooped her up.

The skin on skin contact sent shivers through her body as a squeal left her throat, "Grayson don't you fucking dare," she shouted.

It was too late, before she knew it she was being carried up to the surface, a loud gasp left her lips once she was able to breathe, "What the fuck is wrong with you," she shouted, smacking his chest softly.

Grayson's eyes changed. His honey-colored eyes no longer being present, a pair of dark, lust-filled eyes replacing them instead. In a matter of seconds his hand lightly wrapped against her throat, and her back was placed against a soft rock, "I'm fed up of all your attitude, and of your fucking teasing," his voice was rough and deep.

Deeper than she's ever heard before, and Grayson's voice sure got deep when he was upset.

"Mhm," she nodded her head, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. Bubbles filled her stomach as she wondered what would happen next.

"Words baby, I need words," he muttered against her neck, a small and quiet moan came from the feeling of his big, and rough hands traveling around her bare body.

"I wanted your attention, like the whore I am," she pouted, his lips placed slow and sloppy kisses around her neck and shoulders, his hands squeezing her ass making her head drop back in response.

"You're a whore for me, aren't you?" His voice was teasing-, almost mocking her. Mocking her for being such a whore for him, "What do you want Y/N?"

It was the way he said her name again. Everything but innocence was found within his voice, what did she want? She didn't know. Not being in the right headspace to make a decision as to what she wanted Grayson to do for her, she shrugged, letting out a quiet 'don't know'.

"I guess we'll just go with what I want then," he shrugged before wrapping his arms under her knees, lifting her up so that her lower half was above the water and her ass was sitting on the rock, right in front of his face, he looked up at her, eyes filled with hunger and lust, he turned his head to the side, a nod coming from her to let him know she wanted it too.

"You don't know how long I waited for this," he wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her pussy closer to his face, his finger slowly rubbed against her skin, grazing past the are where she needed him and wanted him the most, "Gray-,"

He cut her off by pressing his thumb softly against her clit, "Shhh," he switched his thumb for his index finger that he previously had in his move, he rubbed it in small circles, small whimpers and breath falling past Y/N's lips.

He placed a small kiss on her clit, receiving a gasp in response. Her pussy ached with want, want for some sort of touch, "Don't make a sound," he instructed before licking a bold stripe up her folds, he slowly inserted a finger, her hand clutching onto his bicep as she bit her lip, holding back any sounds that tried to escape.

He licked his lips before slowly flicking his tongue against her clit, he inserted another finger, and this time Y/N wasn't so good at holding a moan back, the pleasure she was getting from his fingers slowly moving in and out of her, while his tongue worked wonder on her was more than enough to make her let out a loud moan that earned her a smack to her thigh.

Not getting what she wanted, she pushed her body down, only for Grayson to push his face back, a smirk on his face as she sent him a glare, she leaned down, small hand grabbing his jaw, her thumb slowly pulled his bottom lip down until it popped back up, "Stop moving and just eat me, please?" She asked, an innocent pout on her face as her acrylics slowly scratched his jaw.

Grayson didn't say anything, a determined look on his face, and Y/N knew she was done for, he slowly took his fingers out of her before quickly slipping them back in with no warning, his speed faster than before he leaned his head down, her hand moved to his hair, pulling it away for his face as a gathered up enough spit before slowly spitting it all over her cunt, his lips latched onto her clit with no mercy, tongue circling it, as loud moans left her lips, "Gray, Gray, more," she chanted his name as she pulled on his brown locks, her legs trying close but he pushed them away, fingers digging into her soft skin as he devoured her pussy.

"More?" he asked, he slipped a third finger in, and a loud scream came from her throat. His fingers slipped in and out of her at a fast pace, he pulled his tongue and fingers away, moving his fingers up to her clit before quickly running it, "look at you, all fucked out and I haven't even gotten started yet," he chuckled, a cocky look on his face, before she could respond he replaced his fingers with his tongue, moaning at her sweet taste sending vibrations through her body.

Her stomach began to tighten and her breaths became short. Moans turned into a loud pornographic scream as her toes curled, squirting all over his face, her vision turned white, he body trying to pull away but he locked her in with his hands behind his knees

"Grayson, Grayson fuck, fuck," the number of times she said fuck was more than what Grayson could count. Once she caught her breath she sat up, his head was between her thigh so she pulled him up, a loud and rough giggle escaping her as she pressed her lips against his lips, tasting herself, "Just wanna taste it," she muttered and he nodded his head.

"Tastes like strawberries," he mumbled before fueling pulling himself on top of her, "Wanna fuck you on this rock," he peppered kisses on her neck, long enough to leave marks on her skin, her nails scratched his back

"Do it," she whispered, she brought her hand up to her mouth, spitting in it before bringing it down to his dick. Her hand wrapped around it, slowly pumping causing small and quiet whimpers to come from Grayson's lips.

"Y/N, don't you dare," he groaned as she took her hand away, a small smile on her lips.

"Don't dare what?" She asked, in a swift motion she flipped them over, surprising herself and Grayson on how they didn't slip off of the rock, "Actually, I just wanna swim," she shrugged, getting off of him and jumping into the water, leaving a frustrated, and angry Grayson laying naked on a wet rock.

"You coming?" She asked before Grayson jumped in the water, one she saw the look on Grayson's face, she took off, swimming as fast as she could, until he caught up to her, his long arms making catching her easier.

"Where were you exactly planning to go Y/N?" Grayson asked with a smirk on his face, Y/N turned her face, getting a good look around the area, noticing there was nowhere she could exactly go.

"Somewhere," She shrugged, turning back around to face him, her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers playing with the small hairs at the back of his head, his hands were right above her waist, his thumb rubbing small circles on her soft skin.

Grayson leaned his head down, pressing a small kiss below her ear, "I don't like that stunt you pulled," his teeth softly pressed down on her earlobe before he pulled away, "It wasn't very nice,"

"Too bad," She shrugged against his arms, a soft smile on her lips.

….

Y/N was in it for the night. Purposely brushing past Grayson on accident all day, saying comments that were innocent but in a way that they no longer were, looking up at Grayson will big eyes, Grayson was regretting suggesting skinny dipping, because he simply couldn't contain himself, and he could no longer do anything because people were starting to appear so they both rushed up the cliff, slipping on their bathing suits before anyone could see them.

"I had fun," Y/N smiled as she placed her bag in the trunk, they were now completely dressed, black joggers and white t-shirts hugged both of their bodies, and dirty white vans covered their feet.

"Me too, except for the part where you left me on the rock," Grayson playfully shook his head, sending her a half serious glare.

"Oh come on, the day isn't over yet," she smiled, taking a step closer to him, her hand went up to his jaw, caressing the soft skin, "Let's go home yeah,"

An hour has never gone by so slow for Grayson. Every traffic light turned red once it was his turn to go, cars kept crossing, he was letting out loud frustrated groans, nearly jumping out the car once he turned it off in the driveway, Y/N was slowly walking towards the front door until he came up behind her, hand wrapping around her neck as he turned her around, lips devouring hers as they made out against the door.

He lifted up her legs, wrapping them around his waist as he tried to unlock the door without a sight, after many attempts, he finally got the right key, unlocking the door and carrying her inside, slamming the door with his foot as he pressed her back against it, a load moan fell past her lips as he slipped his hand inside her joggers, rubbing her through her underwear.

He wrapped his arms behind her knees once again, carrying her up the stairs, loud and desperate breath coming from both of them, once Grayson reached his room he threw her on the bed, carefully climbing above her body with a hungry look on his eyes. In a swift motion he had her bottoms pulled off, "Shirt," his voice was rough as she raised her arms off, the feeling of his fingers against her stomach tickled as he took her shirt off, he sat up for a quick moment, removing his clothes faster than he's ever done before.

Y/N quickly took the opportunity to turn their body around, getting off the bed and sitting on her knees, once Grayson caught up to what she was doing he got off the bed, his hand reaching down to her jaw, thumb dragging on her bottom lip before she took it in her mouth, swirling her tongue around it, letting out a muffled moan, his grip around her jaw tightener, making her open her mouth, "Swallow it," he muttered after spitting in her mouth, she obliged, no questions asked.

She grabbed his dick in her hands, leaning her down and placing a small kiss on his tip causing Grayson's body to jerk, "Sorry," She giggled before spitting on it. She pumped her hand in a slow motion, slowly jerking him off, trying to get him harder before she put him in her mouth, she maintained eye contact while doing it, letting out a small giggle as Grayson internally almost lost it.

He let out a groan as she finally brought him in, the warmth from her mouth making his eyes roll back, she slowly took him in, bopping her head slightly before he took control.

He grabbed a fistful of his hair, taking a step back, his dick falling from her mouth as a line of spit connected the two, he pulled her head back so that she directly looking at him, "I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you," he muttered before grabbing his dick in his hands, bringing it up to her mouth before slamming his hips against her, loud gags coming from the back of her throat, she moaned around him, making him let out a grunt.

"Fucking teasing me all day, fucking whore," he moaned as he fucked her mouth, tears forming in her eyes from the filling of his dick touching the back of her throat, he stepped back for a bit, stroking his cock with his hands to allow her to breath. Her hands reached for him, thumb rubbing over his tip before she took him back in her mouth, she had a rhythm. Take him halfway in for a couple of times before deepthroating him for a few seconds, then jerking him off with his hands. After a few minutes, Grayson was sent into oblivion, eyes closing as he came in her mouth, "Shit, fuck," fell past his lips as she giggled. He looked down at her, his cum slightly dripping from her lips before she wiped it away with her thumb, slipping it into her mouth, moaning at his taste.

"Gray?"

"Hmh," he blinked his distraction away, his mind still stuck on what only happened a few seconds ago.

"Are you finally gonna fuck me or-," her question was cut short, his hand wrapping around her neck as he slammed her on the bed. He slammed himself into her with no warning, a loud moan mixed with a gasp was her reaction.

"That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble someday," he grunted as he thrusted in and out of her, her tits bouncing with every thrust he made.

"Well, until then, I'll wait," she spoke, followed by a moan, "Fuck," her eyes paid a visit to her brain as she clawed on his back, her nails scratching the soft skin as he placed sloppy kisses along her neck and collarbone.

"Keep talking," he muttered against his skin, he brought one of his hands down to her clit making her head fall back as she let out a string of curse words.

He flipped their bodies around, her hands falling to his shoulders for support as he grabbed onto her waist, "Ride me like the good girl I know you are," his eyes stared into hers.

She grabbed onto his shoulders before she began bouncing on him, her legs feeling broken as she did so, head was thrown back, her hands moved from his shoulder to his chest, as a chuckle left Grayson's lips, he muttered some curse words that were almost inaudible as one of his hand reached for the headboard. He stared at her licking his lips before letting out a moan, "Shit Y/N, the condom," he panted and she shook her head.

"I'm on the pill," she breathed, feeling close to herself. The knot on her stomach began to tighten, 'Gray, Gray, I'm gonna cum,"

"Do it. Cu for me angel," his voice was light and airy, almost as if he was a peace.

She threw her head back before cumming around his dick, Grayson following her actions a few seconds later, they let out loud deep breaths as they came down from their highs.

Small beads of sweat formed around her forehead that wiped off her hand, she dropped down next to Grayson on the mattress, "Holyshit," she turned her head to look at him, "Please tell me we're gonna do that more often?"

"We can't stop now, we just started,"

Tag List: @blazedgraysons @evergreendolan @simplyxdolxstyles @rhyrhy462 @resilientdolan @guiltydols @onlyyyariii @blindedbythelightt @ydolanssss @finelinedolans @babey-gray @prettyboydolan @deeperdolan @lovingdolans@strawberryystyles @grantzarrr�� {if you wanna be added just lmk :)}

A/N: I’m pretty sure this is by far, the most horrifyingly bad thing I’ve ever written. Please I haven’t written smut in over a month, I’m SORYY!!!! I hate this SO SO SO SO MUCH bye-

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cinnaminsvga · 4 years ago

Text

Taming of the Bridezilla | Seokjin

→ summary: Picture this: You had been (not-so) cordially invited to the wedding of your least favorite cousin—a woman who had been hellbent on making your childhood a living hell. Now older and wiser, you would think that you would put aside your differences and attend your cousin’s special day without any hard feelings, right? You wouldn’t seek revenge, now would you?

→ genre: fake dating!au, i2l, humor/crack, fluff → warnings: seokjin and oc paradoxically have big yet small brains, fake proposals, not-so fake mutual pining, thinly veiled baby-making jokes, terrible family members, ass slapping (no worries it’s consensual) → words: 6.3K → a/n: first of all, no this is not a horror fic; i just thought the title was funny. unless you consider the stupidity of the characters to be mildly horrifying, then sure you can count this as a horror fic. this insanely ridiculous fic was commissioned by @breadoffoxy!! anyone who loves chaotic jin is an angel in my book. yes, this comm is a bit longer than expected but what can i say... i love me some jin. anyway i hope you guys enjoy!

“You got the ring, right?”

Seokjin pats his left breast pocket and gives you a quick smirk. The bump where the ring should be is fortuitously hidden by his large and garish boutonniere, looking to all the world like he had pinned a whole head of cabbage to his suit. Even then, he still somehow manages to make it work. “Of course I did. This entire plan would be useless if I didn’t have it,” he says.

“What flavor did you get? I quite like the watermelon one,” you muse, smacking your lips in anticipation. “Though it’s hard to remember since I haven’t had a ring pop in years.”

Seokjin laughs loudly, startling a group of aunties gossiping in the corner. They all shoot glares at him, though the effect has lost its novelty as they’ve already been glaring at you from the moment you arrived. You suppose that they have a good reason to, considering that you both arrived at the reception an entire 30 minutes late. You can imagine them cursing you under their breath, saying something like, “You’ve brought dishonor to us all!” or whatever it is that aunties like to say these days.

“I could have gotten you all the flavors available at the convenience store if you wanted, but then we’d be 40 minutes late instead,” Seokjin sighs, pretending to be anguished at the thought.

You snort in the most unladylike manner that you can, grinning wildly when you hear one of the aunties gasp in horrified disbelief. From the way they’re reacting, you might have thought that you just flashed them your Borat-inspired neon green thong.

“I do love a man who can treat me well,” you giggle, earning a soft pinch from him.

“Oh, hush. I know you love it. You nearly burst into tears the other day when I bought you a McFlurry because your broke ass was a dollar short,” Seokjin teases. You squawk indignantly, unable to come up with a retort.

“Whatever! Just because you’re a trust fund baby doesn’t mean you get to bully my impoverished state. Just you fucking wait ‘til I get hit by a wealthy 77 year old’s BMW and then I’ll be made for life,” you huff, your illusion of annoyance quickly shattered by the large, dumb grin on your face. “Hey, would you still love me if I broke all my limbs but had a massive bank account?”

“I’d rather buy you McDonald’s for the rest of your life than see you in pain,” he answers simply, patting you gently on the head. “Though I suppose helping you inject thousands of calories into your bloodstream would also cause you pain later on in life, but hey, at least you’d go down doing what you love.”

“Oh, yes. Keep talking dirty to me. I love it when you talk about the ways you’d kill me by association.” You laugh, casually looping your arms together as you walk past the slowly growing crowd of aunties and entering the reception hall to find your seats. Almost everyone is already in their seats, with a few guests milling about and greeting one another with tight-lipped smiles and hollow laughter. The sight brings goosebumps up your arm, bringing back terrible memories of having to make niceties with these people despite knowing that they despised you and your less affluent family.

Remember, you’re only here as a representative for your parents, you tell yourself. You’d rather bear the brunt of the thinly-veiled insults than to have your parents have to experience this hell. Besides, you have big plans for today, and they would only be brought to an end if your mother ever found out what you wanted to do in the first place.

“As they say… We’re here for a good time, not a long time, which I suppose is our philosophy for tonight as well,” he quips back. He taps you lightly on the hand, wrenching your gaze away from the magnificent chocolate fountain on the dessert table and back to his somewhat less magnificent face. A straight-up lie, but it is the only defense mechanism you have in your arsenal that can keep you from staring at how gorgeous he looks in his suit and tie like a braindead idiot. Denial, after all, hasn’t failed you during the last five years that you’ve been in love with your own best friend.

“What is it?” you ask, curious when he furtively points out one of your cousins near the front of the hall. “That’s Namjoon. Do you know him?”

“Know is a strong word,” Seokjin hums, winking at your cousin when he happens to turn towards the two of you. Namjoon’s eyes light up when he sees him, but his excitement immediately vanishes when he notices who Seokjin has beside him on his right arm. You could see the mental cogs going on inside Namjoon’s head as he stares at the two of you, but you don’t get to see him reach a conclusion before Seokjin is pulling you away, walking in the opposite direction.

“Seokjin? What was that all about?” you ask, though you have to admit you’re kind of afraid to know the answer to your own question. As much as everything about tonight’s scheme had been your idea, you can’t help but think that Seokjin’s intense enthusiasm to help you isn’t merely out of his own desire to help you as a friend, but rather due to his innate calling to cause chaos wherever he goes.

“I have a secret bonus surprise for the bride and groom once we get kicked out from this joint after we do our thing,” he says. “And, dare I say, it’ll be quite a treat for all the guests here.” The smirk on his lips is downright heinous, only exacerbating the frantic racing of your heart. There must be something wrong with you, not with how badly you want to do unspeakable atrocities to him and his evil-looking ass. Or perhaps he was simply put down on Earth to test your slowly fraying sanity.

He snaps you out of your dumbfounded, horny stupor when he continues, “If everything goes according to plan, then we’ll truly end this night with a bang, no pun intended.”

“What was even the pun there?” You raise a brow, slightly disconcerted by the way Seokjin was struggling to keep his laughter (at his own joke) at bay. “You know what? Don’t even answer. I guess I’ll just have to find out later tonight.”

After some pointless meandering while the two of you locate your seats, you are finally able to locate your table, unsurprisingly situated near the farthest corner of the hall where no one would have to see you. You’re honestly more surprised that your newly-wedded cousin had even remembered to give you a seat, though you suppose that it must have been at the behest of your uncle. While your devil of a cousin has always been rude and cruel to you, you have to admit that at least her father knew some manners, though that only begs the question as to what happened to his daughter along the way. Genetics and expensive etiquette classes can only help so much, you suppose.

“Thank you again for doing this with me. You really didn’t need to,” you say when you take a seat, nearly elbowing him in the process. Your chairs are wedged right beside the emergency exit and a grotesque ice sculpture of the bride and groom, forcing the two of you to sit so close that you could feel Seokjin breathe directly into your ear. If you shifted just slightly to the right, you’d basically be sitting on his lap (which is a prospect that intrigues you greatly, but you refrain from voicing it in fear of creeping him out… for now).

“How could I ever resist the offer to ruin your cousin’s wedding? This has been on my bucket list for years,” he winks cheekily at you. “Besides, you’re my dearest friend, Y/N. You could ask me to fight a bear naked, and I’d gladly let it eat my dick in one chomp!”

“I wouldn’t let a bear eat your dick,” you say kindly, patting him gently on the back. “You can’t afford to lose an inch when you only have two to offer.”

Before you could laugh hysterically at Seokjin’s howls of betrayal, your attention is pulled away when the soft violin music stops playing abruptly. From far away, it’s hard to tell what’s going on until you notice a bright light reflecting off of the sea of attendees, the balding head of the reception’s host bobbing up and down as he makes his way to the front of the hall.

“Attention esteemed guests! We will now begin serving dinner shortly. Please remain in your seats as our waiters attend to you.” The host speaks into a crackly microphone just as a few scraggly-looking underpaid teenagers in black dress shirts come out with the first course of the night.

Seokjin cranes his neck, trying to see what the food is. “What the hell is that? Why does it look like green shit in a bowl?” he murmurs, loud enough so that only you can hear. “I didn’t know your cousin was a Dr. Seuss fan. Are we being served green eggs and ham?” Before you can guess, you watch as his nose crinkles in disgust, a vile stench making its way to your area even though none of the waiters were even close to your table. “Oh my goodness, is that stench what we’re supposed to eat?”

“Smells like a barnyard,” you comment, though you aren’t as surprised as he is by the revolting smell. “Well, my cousin always did like making atrocious vegan recipes on her shitty WordPress blog, so I wouldn’t put it past her if she made up the menu for her own wedding.”

“She’s a vegan and a bully? What are the odds,” he says drily, cringing when he watches one of the guests begin to dry heave the moment a spoonful of the green stuff enters their mouth. “Christ. I didn’t know I was signing up for a life or death mission.”

“At this rate, I don’t think we’re getting served until the end of the night anyway,” you say, observing as the understaffed employees tried their best to get to every table while insufferable aunts did their worst to hinder their progress by nagging and complaining. Why were they so adamant about eating the food anyway? Were they itching to get diarrhea on a Saturday night? You do admit that it would probably be better, so then at least you’d have an excuse to leave earlier. “Though I suppose... Do you think eating the mystery goo while it’s cold would be better or worse?”

“It’s okay, I’ll treat you to McDonald’s when we finish up here,” he says, smiling sweetly at you. Never in your life has the mention of greasy fries and chicken nuggies made your heart race faster than it did at that moment, but then again, it could also be your high-blood pressure kicking up. Either way, you can’t ignore the way your face heats up at his offer, now more excited than ever for the reception to be over.

You and Seokjin chat as you wait for everyone around you to finish eating, not even bothered when the waiters forget to bring your food. You’re in the middle of debating the pros and cons of cock and ball torture when large dark shadows loom over both your heads, much like a solar eclipse. A cold shiver runs up your spine when you look up to find the reptilian faces of your aunts, the fumes of their designer perfume creating a cloud so noxious that you could feel your lungs shrivel into prunes.

“Hello, Y/N. It’s nice to see you after such a long time,” your Aunt Sohee greets, her tone indicating that there was nothing pleasant about seeing you at all. Your aunt, who had gotten so much botox done that she was reminiscent of a plastic balloon ready to pop, has her entourage of fellow aunties behind her, all of whom looked ridiculous in their fake designer dresses. You swear you can see that one of them had forgotten to snip off the Made in China tag before wearing it to the wedding.

“Aunt Sohee, you’re looking… young,” you say after a moment, deciding to settle on lying for now. Even though your main plan for this evening is to create chaos at your cousin’s wedding, your one condition is that you wouldn’t cause a scene with your aunts. While you are hardly in the running for favorite niece, there is still a 1% chance that you could get some inheritance from them once they hit the grave, so you’ll have to grit your teeth and bear the incoming barrage of personal questions coming your way lest you lose out in the long run.

“Why, thank you. I can’t say the same for you,” she huffs, shamelessly grabbing my cheeks and squishing them like stress balls. She peers sourly at your disfigured face, trying to squint judgmentally at you but failing due to her horrendous plastic surgery. “How old are you? Why do you have so many wrinkles?”

You feel your eyebrow twitch involuntarily, unable to respond even if you wanted due to the gorilla-hold she has on your face. You side-eye Seokjin, who is looking back at you with a blank and calm expression. You had already told him beforehand that you wouldn’t be arguing with your aunts, but that doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to be an asshole.

Being an asshole, after all, is Seokjin’s favorite pastime.

“Hello, Aunties. My name is Kim Seokjin, and I’m Y/N’s long-term boyfriend. She’s told me many good things about you,” he says with a polite smile, his hamster cheeks puffing up in that adorably boyish way. The surrounding aunties all begin to coo at his handsome face (unfair!), but they’re quickly silenced by a sharp glare from your Aunt Sohee. She appraises him, giving him a once over with a pursed lip.

“Long-term boyfriend, huh? Are you sure you aren’t paying her or something? Y/N hasn’t had a boyfriend in years. Her cousins have told me that she’s been too busy with other… extracurricular activities to bother sticking around,” your aunt says snidely, her sneer deepening. She lets go of your face, crossing her arms when she spies the expensive watch on his wrist. “Ah, I see that you’re well-off. I just can’t possibly see why else you’d be staying with her if not for other reasons.”

You can feel your blood pressure rising, the veins on your forehead undoubtedly bulging as you try to suppress your rage. Screw your cousin for spreading a rumor that you’re a whore! It’s as if you were the one sucking guys off in the locker rooms when the two of you were in the second year of high school and not her. You haven’t even had your first proper kiss, for heaven’s sake!

Instead of getting angry, Seokjin’s expression hardly changes at all. His serene smile is still plastered on his face, but only you can tell that he’s even remotely bothered by their rude remarks. You can feel the air around him turn frosty, but your oblivious aunties are still too busy tittering amongst themselves, exchanging insults at your expense.

“Oh, are we that obvious?” Seokjin tilts his head, feigning innocence. Your head jerks towards him, your eyes bugging out of their sockets. What the fuck? “You are so right, Auntie Sohee. I’m sure Y/N must have informed you about our predicament. You see, we’ve—”

“Your predicament?” Aunt Sohee scoffs, interrupting Seokjin mid-speech. “I can’t believe the nerve of this girl, bringing her little boy-toy to the holy matrimony of her cousin—”

“—been trying to produce an heir to the Kim Line for months now,” Seokjin sighs heavily, looking off into the distance with glazed, dreamy eyes. You nearly cough out a lung at his sudden proclamation, about to interject and ask him what on earth he was talking about. Your words die on your tongue, however, when he grips your hand tightly underneath the table. He taps three times on the back of your hand: an old sign that you both made back in high school whenever he was busy bullshitting his way out of trouble.

Luckily, none of your aunts notice your blunder, all of them too occupied trying to wrap their heads around what Seokjin had said. Multiple mouths drop open in surprise and disbelief, including your Aunt Sohee. Her penciled eyebrows arch comically high, her smoothened forehead wrinkling infinitesimally (a feat in itself, for you were sure she had long since lost any ability to move the skin on her face.)

“I beg your pardon?” she whispers, staring daggers at Seokjin.

Then beg, you think to yourself. Judging by the way the corners of Seokjin’s lips lift slightly, you have a strong feeling that he was thinking the same thing to himself. Instead, he says, “Yes, Aunt Sohee. You see, I come from a long line of businessmen. Ever heard of Kim Enterprises.”

Her face turns pale. “You mean… the Kim Enterprises? The one that owns—”

“South Korea’s largest chain of department stores? I’m flattered that you’re familiar,” he winks. He leans forward, gesturing for your aunts to come closer, like he’s imparting state secrets to them. “My older brother, who has been married for quite some time, has chosen to remain childless at the behest of his wife. For that reason, my father put me up to the task of producing an heir for the company.”

“An heir?” your aunt repeats, dumbfounded.

Seokjin nods, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Yes, it’s quite unfortunate, but it’s a responsibility I’m willing to take. My family is notorious for planning our lives, even for the next 50 years, so I am forever grateful to have Y/N who is willing to bring me multiple potential heirs to my family.”

“Multiple heirs?” Your aunts shriek in unison, causing a few nearby guests to look over at your table in curiosity. You wave at them awkwardly in apology, hoping to get them to ignore the absolute clusterfuck happening right in front of you.

You feel Seokjin kick you gently in the shin, urging you to say something as well. You clear your throat, channeling all the pent-up Seokjin energy that you had indirectly absorbed over the years of being his friend. “That’s right… My Jinnie has always been so lonely, living in his gigantic mansion with his piles of money. He may have never felt the loving touch of his father, but I’m certain that we’ll be great parents to our children. Why, we’re almost like a pair of rabbits when it comes to—”

Aunt Sohee clears her throat abruptly, a deep flush coloring her cheeks as she glares daggers at you. She looks absolutely peeved, and it takes all your mental fortitude to restrain yourself from jumping up in triumph. Take that, wench!

“I have to admit that this is somewhat… unexpected,” your aunt says carefully, pointing a tight smile at Seokjin. He beams back, positively delighted.

“Y/N is quite the catch. I’m grateful to have her in my life,” he says, his tone growing soft by the end. He looks at you then, and you find a mysterious emotion floating in his eyes that you can’t quite name. When you blink and try to get a closer look, his careful façade is back in place.

Eventually, your aunts lose interest in you once they realize they can no longer bully you, not when you had an incredibly rich boyfriend to back you up. “Must be nice being a rich boy, huh?” you snicker, teasing the blushing boy beside you. Thanks to his hair growing longer than usual, the tips of his ears are miraculously hidden away. When you brush his hair back, they are as red as a baboon’s ass.

“Oh, shut up. You know I hate flaunting my dad’s money,” he whines, pouting cutely. He fingers the watch on his wrist, staring at it uncomfortably. “This isn’t even my watch. I had to borrow one from my brother.”

“Well, you did it for me, so I suppose it’s not all bad,” you laugh, pinching his cheek lightly. “Plus, it was funny watching my aunts shut up for once. They’re just mad that you’re richer than the groom.”

“Really? What does he do?”

“He’s an entrepreneur.” You snort, emphasizing the word with air quotations. “Honestly, he just calls himself that while he waits for his self-made business to pop off or whatever. No such luck so far, if what I heard was right.”

“Lucky for you, you’re stuck with my devastatingly handsome face and stinkin’ rich bank account,” he jokes, contorting his face into a funny expression until you’re left snorting at his antics. Little does he know, you still would’ve l***d him even if he wasn’t any of those things, but that’d be too cringey to say. What are you, some sort of romantic lead protagonist?

It takes a little bit over an hour for dessert to start getting served, by which point the bride and groom decide to make their rounds to greet the guests. “Don’t you think this is the perfect time to put our plan into motion? The dance floor is open and we should be able to make it to the center without anyone noticing,” he whispers, his breath tickling your neck.

“Yeah, let’s go,” you say, but just as you’re about to get up from your seat, a flurry of white blocks your path in an instant. You startle slightly, falling back to your chair and hitting Seokjin in the chest with a soft grunt. “Shit, sorry about that Seokjin—”

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my dear cousin,” a voice cuts you off, the disdain in their voice dripping like acid down your ear canals. Your blood freezes instinctively, years of past trauma crashing down on you as your childhood bully stands just inches away from you, her blood-red lips stretched into a broad smirk.

“Kairi,” you greet.

“Y/N,” she responds.

“Seokjin!” Seokjin adds helpfully.

Your cousin turns to him slowly. “Quite right,” she hisses, eyebrows pinched together in thinly-veiled annoyance. “I’ve heard through some whispers that my baby cousin finally managed to snag a rich kid for a boyfriend and I just couldn’t help but let my curiosity drag me over here.” She looks you up and down, snorting at what she sees. “You would think that having a chaebol as a boyfriend would mean you could at least afford a proper dress.”

You glance down at your dress: a hand-me-down from your mother because you couldn’t be bothered to buy a new one, not when you’d rather choke on Satan’s hot fiery balls for all eternity than spend any amount of money just to attend your cousin’s wedding. Despite this, you can’t help your cheeks from heating in embarrassment, an automatic response after years of bullying and torment from that spoiled bitch.

When you don’t reply, Kairi’s smirk widens. “Oh? Cat got your tongue? Sugar daddy couldn’t even be bothered to buy you a dress? While you’re at it, maybe you should ask for a new car too. I’m surprised you even made it here alive in that old metal deathtrap of yours. You’re lucky you were just late to the reception instead of dead on the street.”

You can sense Seokjin staring at you from your right. Your fists are clenched tightly on your skirt, your nails nearly tearing the fabric in your searing rage. Slowly, carefully, Seokjin slips his hands underneath yours—he pries your death grip open until he can lace his fingers in between yours. At once, your anger melts at his tender gesture, your focus pulled away from your cousin and back to him. He thumbs the back of your hand, as if assuring you that he’d handle this himself.

He smiles at Kairi, not a single ounce of kindness in his eyes. “Yes, indeed. It is my mistake entirely for not ordering a dress much sooner. Y/N is so incredibly humble; she’d rather wear a vintage outfit than wear one of those paper-thin dresses from YesStyle that you and your bridesmaids seem to favor,” he sighs, pretending to be pained.

“Paper-thin? YESSTYLE?” Kairi screeches, her voice breaking the sound barrier. You watch in fascination as her skin turns an unflattering ruddy shade.

Unperturbed by her murderous aura, Seokjin prattles on. “Quite right,” he mocks her with her own words, smirking ever so slightly. “Though, I must apologize for being late to the reception. That was my fault as well. My father had a general meeting this morning for all the employees at the company, as he had wanted to announce that I would be the Vice President starting next Monday. We tried to leave sooner, but everyone had been too busy congratulating us,” he apologizes, though not apologetic in the slightest.

Your cousin could cosplay as a walking crack pipe with how much steam was puffing out of her ears. She’s livid, so much so that her fury was preventing her from formulating any sort of comeback. “You—how dare you—I swear on my—” she stutters incomprehensibly, her vulture-like nails tearing her dainty paper-thin skirt into shreds.

Just as she looks about ready to blow, her father comes around to your table. He places a hand delicately on his daughter’s shoulder, immediately understanding the situation when he sees you. “Kairi, I think it’s time for you to greet the rest of the guests. Uncle Iverson said he has a gift for you that simply cannot wait,” he says, doing his best to appease you. He gives you a genuinely regretful look; you shake your head, waving off his concern.

“It was nice seeing you, Kairi. I hope you and your husband will have a wonderful year together,” you say. You gasp exaggeratedly, holding a hand to your heart. “Oh, sorry. I meant to say I hope you have wonderful years together. Pardon my mistake.”

Before the scant amount of brain cells in your cousin’s brain could process your words, her father pulls her away, dragging her to the next table over. Once they’re out of earshot, you heave a sigh of relief. Beside you, Seokjin lets out a laugh that he had been undoubtedly holding in the past few minutes, sounding like a fish gasping for air with how much he is shaking with mirth.

“Fuck, that was hilarious. Did you see how angry she got? Beautiful,” he says, wiping away a stray tear. “Love that for us!”

“Damn. I knew you were good at bullshitting, but even your acting skills almost convinced me,” you whistle lowly, impressed. “You sure you’re not a con-artist in disguise?”

“All good businessmen are con-artists, my young padawan,” he snickers, winking at you. He shrugs. “You get used to dealing with assholes like her when you attend enough rich people parties. Besides, all good lies are rooted in the truth, after all. That’s what my father taught me when I was seven.”

“You must have been a terrible child, then.” You laugh, before realizing what he had just said. “Wait. Rooted in the truth? What does that mean?”

“Oh. Well,” he clears his throat, giggling nervously. He rubs his neck, embarrassed. “I am the vice president of dad’s company now. I just lied about the meeting being this morning. He announced it a day ago or something. Not that it’s a big deal or anything…”

You gawk at him, speechless. Not for the first time in your life, you are once again stunned by the absurdity of the man before you. How did men like him exist outside of cheesy k-dramas? He’s handsome, rich, funny, AND well-mannered? It’s almost like some love-crazed author had penned him into existence for their entertainment.

Seokjin breaks you from your reverie, tapping you thrice on your shoulder. “Shall we go? The dance floor is still empty. It’s now or never.”

You nod excitedly, standing up to head towards the center of the hall. This time, there is no one stopping you as the two of you make your way towards your destination. The lights near the dancefloor are still dimly lit, as most of the lighting is currently focused on the guests as the bride and groom make their rounds to greet everyone. Even if Seokjin got onto his knees right now, only a few people nearby would notice, so you’d have to do something to catch people’s attention.

“This is going to be moderately to highly embarrassing for a few moments, but I think that’s the atmosphere we’re going for, isn’t it?” Seokjin whispers, his mouth embarrassingly close to yours as he holds you gently by the waist. There isn’t a need for him to stand so close to you, but you have to admit his presence is mostly calming—minus the fact that he’s been your crush for five years and he’s going to be fulfilling one of your deepest fantasies in front of your entire extended family. No biggie.

“I suppose so. What are you gonna do to get their attention?” you ask, palms beginning to sweat. Despite this, Seokjin still takes your hands into his own, a small smile on his lips.

“Just watch,” he whispers, before slowly getting down on one knee.

Ba-dump. Here we fucking go.

“My dearest Y/N… The apple of my eye, the straw to my berry, the con to my dom,” Seokjin says, projecting his voice so that it can be heard even above the music. One of the violin players is even startled long enough to stop playing, further causing more heads to turn in their direction. You hear a gasp coming from your left, but you force yourself not to look. Instead, you stare right back into Seokjin’s sweet brown eyes, your heart beating a mile a minute.

This isn’t real… This is just a prank, bro. Get over yourself, you hiss internally, but your heart refuses to listen.

“You’ve been in my life for almost half a decade, and not a day goes by wherein I don’t wonder what it would be like to live the rest of my days with you. In many ways, I wouldn’t be the person I am if it hadn’t been for your presence in my life,” he says. If you look deeper into his eyes, you can almost trick yourself into thinking that they looked wetter than they had just a moment ago.

“Y/N, you are the person I’ve loved for years now. I used to think you didn’t like me as much as I liked you, so I was always scared to pop the question. I had many opportunities to ask, but I suppose tonight just felt like the right moment. I was afraid that if I didn’t do it now, I might never get the chance to ask again, and I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let you slip away out of cowardice.”

For some reason, his words seem almost too real, like he was speaking the truth. You have never doubted his acting skills, but would you be willing to wonder if there was even a small possibility that there was some truth to his tale? You swallow thickly, the need to ask just dangling on the tip of your tongue.

He rifles through his jacket pocket, procuring a small velvet box. He thumbs it almost reverently, his hands shaking slightly, but you can blame that on the nerves from hundreds of people watching you. He takes a deep breath, opening the box with a soft click. “My dearest Y/N… Would you give me the honor of spending the rest of my days with you?”

You feel your breath get knocked out of you in an instant, the genuine adoration in his eyes too much for you to handle. You stammer slightly, too busy staring at him to properly register the loud claps, screams, and hollers all around you. “I… Seokjin… This is…”

“MAKE THEM STOP! SOMEONE KICK THEM OUT RIGHT NOW!” You dimly hear your cousin screaming obscenities somewhere, but you are still too caught up in the moment to care. The world only consists of you and Seokjin—nothing else matters right now.

When you look down at the box in his hands, fully expecting to see a comically large ring pop nestled in its cushions, but instead you find—

You gasp, nearly doubling over in surprise. “Oh my god, Seokjin. Is that a real fucking diamond ring?!”

He shrugs, smiling wryly. “Only the best rocks for the girl who rocks my socks off every night,” he jokes, but his nervousness is palpable. He’s sweating, a drop trailing down the side of his face despite the strong air conditioning.

Oh shit. It hits you right then that his proposal is real. The damned idiot is fucking proposing to you in front of your most hated family members, and he’s proposing to you for real.

“Kim Seokjin, please fucking explain yourself—”

But before he can have the chance to open his mouth, you feel rough hands grab you by the shoulders, pulling you away from him. “I’m sorry I have to do this, ma’am. Bride’s orders,” one of the waiters says, awkwardly escorting you to the exit. When you turn back, you see another waiter pulling Seokjin away as well, the box with the ring still clutched tightly in his hand.

The two waiters deposit you outside the hall, bowing stiffly before heading back into the room. You’re still breathing heavily, the adrenaline coursing through your veins. Seokjin isn’t any better, bent over with his hands on his knees. From your vantage point, you can see how red his entire neck is, his blush reaching even past the collar of his shirt.

“Seokjin…” you trail off, unable to say another word. You’re completely flabbergasted, elated, annoyed, and mostly just mind-fucked because when on earth did Kim Seokjin ever have a crush on you?!

“I’m sorry. That must have been quite a shock,” he coughs out a laugh. He rubs his face, embarrassment rolling off of him in waves. “I just… It was sort of a last-minute decision I made. I’ve been into you for years now, and I know I’m kinda putting you on the spot by proposing like that, but I knew if I didn’t do anything soon, you might just slip away before I can say anything.”

“Wait. So are you really… proposing to me?” You squeak out the last bit, your face mirroring his reddened state.

“No!” He shouts suddenly, before covering his mouth with his palm. “S-sorry, what I mean to say is, it wasn’t really a marriage proposal. It was more like… just a general proposal? I do want to live with you forever, but I know that thought must be daunting and—oh god, I don’t even know if you like me like that, so this must be incredibly weird and out of line. Please excuse me while I shove a cactus up my ass—”

“Seokjin,” you interrupt, silencing his rambling. He clamps his mouth shut. “Are you… asking me out?”

He nods his head. “Yeah…”

“And what you said is true? You actually like me?”

“No, you don’t understand. I love you,” he says, before getting shy again. He looks down at the ring box. “Fuck. This isn’t a real engagement ring, by the way. It’s more like a promise ring, so you don’t have to feel bad for rejecting me.”

“Oh my god, I’m in love with an idiot,” you groan, pulling him into a hug. You nestle into his chest, giggling hysterically into his shirt. “I fucking hate you.”

“Wait, I’m getting mixed signals over here,” Seokjin says, gasping when he feels how tightly you embrace him. He doesn’t complain, however. He returns the gesture in kind, nuzzling deep into your neck. “So, does that mean the feeling is mutual?”

“Yes, you idiot. Now give me my ring.”

“My pleasure, princess.” He laughs, drawing away slightly so that he can slip the ring on your finger. The diamond shines brightly under the fluorescent lights, but nothing brings you more joy than having the boy you love in your arms.

As the two of you are sharing a sweet moment, it takes a second for you to realize that the commotion from inside the venue still hasn’t stopped. When you crane your heads, you spot one of the doors had been left ajar, allowing you to slip your heads through the crack just in time to see Seokjin’s beautiful bare ass being projected onto a large screen.

The musical notes of Rick Astley’s most popular song play loudly on the speakers, drowning out the sounds of the bride screaming bloody murder as the IT people tried their best to sort out the mess. The Seokjin on the screen slaps his ass in time with the tune, his glorious moon-shaped globes shaking mesmerizingly for all to see.

When you look to Seokjin for an explanation, he merely shrugs his shoulders. “They really should do background checks on the people they hire for these things. Taking that one video editing course in university really does pay off, huh?”

“Sure does,” you grin, linking your arms together. “Now let’s get some fucking McDonalds.”

And so, you lived happily ever after—the end.

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manmankai · 4 years ago

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The Scents of the Mankai Company Troupes - Part 2

Summer Troupe (Act 1 Only)

Tenma Sumeragi L'Eau d'Issey Pour Homme Wood&Wood

This fancy-schmancy cologne is pricey and classy. Those are things Tenma tends to strive for. He has expensive taste. According to the brand's site, "Cedarwood and sandalwood offset by the fresh tang of a grapefruit gives a double intensity" to this cologne. I find "double intensity" to be poetic for our dear Tenma, who is as fierce on stage as he is in front of the camera. Plus, a mature and expensive scent will offset his secretly-very-baby vibes.

Yuki Rurikawa Fabric and sweetness

You ever take a real deep breath in a fabric store? That faint scent of linen and possibly dust mingling with the air... Yuki smells kind of like that, only sweeter and cleaner. You can tell he spends a lot of time with clothes, however, he also cares quite a bit about hygiene. Yuki strikes me as the type to prefer a subtle but sweet scent, though I picture him switching it up and trying new things pretty often. This week he smells like peaches and cream. Next week he might smell like lemon and thyme. Regardless, he smells better than you and he will tell you so.

Muku Sakisaka Sport Endurance Spray-On Deodorant & Azuma or Yuki's recommended shampoo/conditioner

Muku may look like a sweet angel sent from heaven - and he is! He is also an athlete, though. Athletes build habits and stick to 'em long after they stop playing. That's why I think that Muku would smell like a classic athletic deodorant spray - the kind that you can put on quick in the locker room before a track meet. That's not all, though! I have a sneaking suspicion that the lovely aroma coming from Muku's hair is from whatever high-quality shampoo and conditioner Yuki or Azuma recommended to him. Every time Muku uses it, he gets a little leap in his stomach because someone who loves him gave it to him.

Misumi Ikuraga Pear and Watermelon, arguably some of the most triangular of fruits...

Misumi probably doesn't care very much about the way he smells. I don't think that's a bad thing, though. I picture him not focusing much on personal hygiene until the loving members of Mankai begin brainstorming ways to make washing his hair and moisturizing his body a fun and easy thing for him to do. That's why I think the company bought Misumi some triangular bottles for all of his hygienic needs, then Azuma purchased Misumi some very nice Watermelon-scented products. They have little slices of watermelons on the bottles, and Misumi loves the double triangle action of the Triangle Shampoo going in the Triangle Bottle! On days when Misumi's hair gets especially tangled from parkouring all over the damn park and rolling around with cats, Misumi will chill out with some Mr. Triangles and one of the more beauty-minded company members will use some Sweet Pear Detangling Spray and a comb to fix his locks right up. As for remembering deodorant every day... No comment.

Kazunari Miyoshi Paint and Axe Phoenix Body Spray

Okay, no judgment, but Kazunari gives me such Axe Body Spray vibes. So! I attempted to literally embody Kazunari and then I took a quiz on Axe.com to discover his perfect Axe scent. It ended up being the one I had in mind for him anyway, which is Phoenix! However, just because our boy uses Axe doesn't mean he overdoes it! .... Okay, he might overdo it a little... but come on. It's only to cover up the strong scent of paint that has just become part of his biology at this point! DM me if you want to know the actual answers I gave for the quiz lol

Stay tuned for more smells!

#a3!#a3! headcanons #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #Tenma Sumeragi #Yuki Rurikawa #Muku Sakisaka #Misumi Ikuraga #Kazunari Miyoshi #tenma #yuki #muku #misumi #kazunari #my hcs #my writing #hc smells

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idontdowellunderpressure · 4 years ago

Text

Hisoillu Week - Day 4: Love Languages

Title: Thinking of You

Illumi was feeling guilt for the first time in his life.

At least he was fairly certain it was guilt. All the books he’d read regarding the emotion seemed to match up with his symptoms. The stomach pains that felt lighter but more tangled than sorrow. The intrusive thoughts that seemed to loop back and feed themselves until it was all he could think about. The entire process seemed to be related to anxiety, he feeling he was more familiar with due to the rare failure to meet family expectations in his youth.

And the cause of it, it seemed to be, was Hisoka.

That bastard.

And it seemed to happen every time the man made him happy, which contrasted the guilt so sharply that it compounded the negative emotion exponentially. Illumi found himself unable to smile when Hisoka complimented his outfit of the day. He no longer relaxed when Hisoka braided his hair. And sex was just a little less pleasurable when his mind was clouded by anything other than ecstasy when Hisoka whispered praises into his ear.

The same books that helped him to identify his problem offered some solutions. Apologizing for the mistake that caused the guilt seemed to be the most common, though Illumi was at an utter loss as to what that could mean. He didn’t make mistakes.

Another common suggestion was to talk to someone about the guilt, usually a third party. Illumi might have been tempted if he had any other associates in his life. But other than his family, whom he had no intention of involving in this, there was no one but Hisoka.

Illumi was considering whether a random person off the streets would be able to help when Hisoka breezed into the living room. He pecked a quick kiss on Illumi’s forehead before settling down on the other side of the couch. He threw his feet across Illumi’s lap before picking up the remote to begin the ruse of channel surfing for something interesting before settling on Judge Jackie, his guilty pleasure every weekday at noon.

Meanwhile a soft ‘ah’ fell from Illumi’s lips as he reached a conclusion. He saw Hisoka tilt his eyes over to him, one eyebrow raising in concern. Illumi shook his head, indicating that his sound was nothing important, and watched Hisoka turn back to the tv.

It was lack of reciprocity.

It was impossible to keep track of all the compliments Hisoka had thrown at him, considering he’d been doing so long before they entered into a partnership. And the amount of small physical gestures was near in number as well. But Illumi could clearly remember each instance in which he had done the same to Hisoka. There was little point in telling Hisoka how beautiful or intelligent or charming or funny he was. He had to have already known, as confident as he was. The physical touches though. Perhaps Illumi could start doing that more?

He lifted Hisoka’s feet of his lap and shuffled up the couch so Hisoka’s calves were resting on him. Hisoka didn’t look away from the tv though until Illumi intertwined his left hand with his right. His eyebrows were raised a bit, but no smile, which was strange. Hisoka liked holding hands, he did it often enough when walking down the street and while having sex for Illumi to be certain of this. Maybe that was the problem. Illumi had yet to ever initiate it.

Illumi smiled, reassuring Hisoka there was no trick or impending attack despite what the strange behavior might have suggested. He looked over to the tv as Judge Jackie called both the defendant and prosecutor idiots for bringing their squabble to her courtroom. Illumi forced his shoulders to relax and tried to paint the outward picture of contentment, hoping Hisoka would catch on and settle as well.

The small smile he caught out of the corner of his eye signaled success and made his guilt disappear.

---------------

But Illumi simply couldn’t keep up. There weren’t enough opportunities to display physical affection for him to remain equal to Hisoka. Every time he would identify an opening, the damned magician would exploit it before him! A kiss on cheek at breakfast. An arm over his shoulder on the couch. A caress against the small of his back in the shower. A nuzzle into his neck in bed.

A blatant repetition of the affection wouldn’t be enough, it was far too passive to indicate anything beyond politeness. And so Illumi found himself downtown, strolling down the streets in search of a gift to offer Hisoka.

The idea had come to him after sending Milluki his birthday present a week ago. Milluki wasn’t the only sibling he sent gifts to, though he was by far the simplest to remain in contact with now, and most often the knowledge that he’d made his siblings happy with an object made Illumi happy in turn. He expected the same with Hisoka and was determined to find something to suit the man’s tastes.

However, Illumi didn’t realize how complicated such a task would be until he’d reached the shops. Hisoka was surprisingly difficult to shop for as the man wasn’t particularly interested in things. Hisoka’s allotted shelves in their apartment had a constantly rotating selection of books, movies, and knick-knacks. A book he claimed to love would be tossed aside because “I already know how it ends”. A Rubik’s cubic he’d fiddled with all winter would be given away to the first child he met on the street who showed interest in the puzzle.

The only thing he seemed remotely attached to were clothes, but Illumi didn’t feel confident enough to try and assume to know Hisoka’s eclectic tastes. Two pairs of heels that looked the exact same sat in Hisoka’s closest because they were –apparently— so obviously suited to different occasions. Illumi proceeded to ignore every clothing store he passed.

Five hours later and all Illumi had to show for his efforts when he returned to the apartment were some grocery bags. And he would have had less than that if he hadn’t remembered how empty their fridge had been last night. He was in the middle of organizing the pantry when Hisoka sauntered into the kitchen and began rummaging directly through the bags.

“Oh~” he heard Hisoka croon behind him. Illumi glanced over his shoulder to see Hisoka holding a small box of strawberries that he’d picked up in the farmer’s market on his way back. It was the only thing he hadn’t gotten at the grocery store because he knew the strawberries from the market were better. At least that’s what Hisoka claimed.

“Thank you for getting me these.” Hisoka chirped, smiling around his savage bite of the bloody red fruit.

“You’re welcome,” Illumi replied automatically, smiling himself when he saw the way Hisoka’s grin curled in contentment. He hummed absently as he sat on the kitchen counter, munching on strawberries as he watched Illumi bustle about the kitchen.

A few days later, having gone shopping for more meat and vegetables, Illumi perused the framer’s market until he saw a strange fruit that he didn’t recognize the name of. Virscia were the size of his fist and purple on the outside but pale green on the inside. The vendor said the closest thing he could compare the fruit to was a cross between wine and pineapples. Illumi bought four, as well as some durian and one watermelon. He arrived home with his purchases and sat the kitchen table, watching Hisoka enjoy his gifts over the course of the week.

Three weeks later he bought some of Hisoka’s favorite hair gel after noticing he was running low. While at the store, he found some face masks that were said to be good for moisturizing. Hisoka had mentioned before that his makeup could dry out his skin if he kept it on too long, so he added the masks to the cart. Hisoka was delighted by the masks and insisted they both wear them that night while watching a movie. The gel tingled nicely against his skin, but Illumi was more pleased about the comforting warmth radiating throughout his body.

A month later he risked the purchase of a pack of cards. Two packs, technically. One was a hand painted set of intricate vines and sweeping waves for the pip cards with delicately featured people for the court cards. The red was a deep, rich color reminiscent of fresh blood. The black was a dark, consuming tone that made the white shine in contrast.

The other was a cheap, gag deck that depicted the current Zodiacs in various poses and states of dress. Illumi was disappointed, but not surprised, when Hisoka seemed to like that one more. But the next time Illumi had brought Hisoka along on an assignment, he noticed how Hisoka placed a careful kiss to his expensive cards before dragging them through an opponent’s jugular.

But was it enough?

Three months later, lying in bed without a hint of sleep to come, Illumi was counting and tallying his gifts. Fruit and makeup and cards and hair dye and earrings and candy. Was it all enough? Was he doing enough? It was all so small, so paltry that Illumi couldn’t be certain if Hisoka understood just how much-

“I love you,” the words slipped out of his mouth and he heard Hisoka move beside him. The mattress didn’t make a sound, but the bed dipped as Hisoka straddled Illumi and kissed him, deep and slow and yearning.

“I know.” He said, his breath ghosting across his lips before he closed the distance again.

“No, Hisoka,” Illumi placed his hands on Hisoka’s face, pulling Hisoka far back enough for them to look each other in the eye, to try and communicate what went beyond words. “I love you.”

“I know,” Hisoka grinned, his eyes becoming mere slits to make room on his face for his smile. “You show me with every gift you give.” Hisoka pushed against his hands, leaning down to place a kiss on his nose.

“All those things you give me. You know me so well. You pay attention to me. You think of me. You love me. I know. I know because you show me.” He placed another kiss, this time of Illumi’s lips, and Illumi slid his hands up and into Hisoka’s hair.

“Thank you,” Hisoka murmured, this time keeping his mouth close enough for Illumi to feel his lips brush against his own. “Thank you, for thinking of me.”

---------------

Link to story on ao3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26078929

Credit to the creator/curator of hisoillu week

@illumiszoldycks

(apologies for the spamming, but I found this prompt list today and was just really excited to contribute what I could to the fandom)

#hisoillu #hisoillu week #hisoka #hisoka morrow #illumi #illumi zoldyck #love languages #acts of service #physical touch #words of affirmation #quality time #gift giving #illumi does feel things #he just has trouble expressing it #I am a fan of Illumi clinically analyzing his feelings

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years ago

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Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers / the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''blood milk and sky'' by white zombie

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msiopao · 5 years ago

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Sera with the Members

a/n: mark is in this because dream is now a fixed unit and he’s part of the lineup!!!!!!

WATERMELON ADDICT

was the person who made Sera comfortable since he reminded her of home

always asks if canadian bacon is better than american bacon

‘i dONt kNoW, sERa! mEAT iS mEaT!’

she didnt actually cry on stage when he was leaving but she cried when it was just the two of them and he recorded for the last time

it was her idea for hyuck to buy him a big bottle of ketchup

CANNOT believe that mark was a churchboy and ends up acting up in music videos

the duality SCARES her

calls her finny since her name is serafina

sera has her own room but she has an extra bed so he sleeps in there when he spends the night

learned this watermelon shake to help mark’s hangover

english all the time

ever since they met, mark has always placed his elbow on her head due to her short height

sera learned this fried rice recipe from her mom and he goes over to their dorm for breakfast

‘mark bls dont touch anything. get out of the kitchen and go watch tv or something’

always brings up his messed up eggs

‘gordon spitting facts tho’

whenever he feels too overworked or too pressured, sera has always made it a point to come over to their dorm and have a movie night with just the 2 of them with his favorite snacks and drinks

LONJIN

omg these two

sera is typically not mean but when renjun starts, she becomes ruthless

always calling out his fake personality

‘everyone, don’t believe him! he’s 2 faced!’

‘what are you even saying! you act like you’re so quirky and giggly but you yeeted jisung into the wall last night!’

‘YAH!’

so yea, they fight a lot

but its very playful and they know where that line is drawn and not cross it

he talks to her about space and aliens and she listens to every word bc renjun sounds so confident and happy whenever he talks about that stuff

they’re actually 10 days apart but sera acts like she’s 10 years older than him

‘IS THAT HOW YOU TALK TO SOMEONE OLDER?!’

‘okay, granny’

always in awe whenever renjun draws and paints and she really likes seeing him in his element

unbeknowst to her, he actually draws her a lot

wants to frame all of his work

they go out to the roof and stargaze

he steals her airpods just to watch her go crazy

once hid her phone in the fridge

lives for his vocals

cannot believe how much he’s grown from chewing gum era to now

her heart strings were tugged when he cried in dnyl

renjun always says that he wishes sera was born as his little sister bc they act like they’re siblings

EYESMILE PRINCE

hmm

so their is kinda complicated

sera’s closest to him than all the members bc 1, he was her first friend and 2, he has cats

before, when they still went to school, her and jeno always went together

yes, jaemin and jeno and her went together in the beginning

but jaemin was in the hospital and recovering so it just became them 2

also, she goes to visit his parents so she can see his cats

this results to his parents and older sister adoring her

‘bongsik, nal, and seol are my kids’ - lee sera, 00 line vlive

she always craves for attention and when it isnt given bc he’s too busy playing, she just walks into his room and sits on his lap while he plays

tries to get his attention by saying stuff but he teases her by acting like she aint there

‘fine, i’ll go to jaemin’

jeno wasnt supposed to be blonde for the comeback but they were just messing around and next thing they knew, jeno’s tips were bleach blonde

when shes on that,,,, time,,,,, hes the only one in the dorm she listens to

not even johnny, who’s practically her father

collabs with her mukbang show and jsmr

he mentions her like at least once whenever he has lives that she’s not in

steals his glasses all the time just to watch him wander around with this confused adorable face

hugs are so cute w these two and czennies see them hugging in videos and she can barely reach his shoulder

forehead kisses and sweater paws for daysss

NANA

drop dead gorgeous boy

shes not safe from jaemin’s affections

*cue jeno glaring at him for stealing her*

we all know how much he loves the members and whenever sera breathes, he busts his uwus

takes so many pictures of her

sera buys him lots of lip balms and carmex but he always forgets to put them on

sera hates peaches but she buys him peach flavored sweets whenever she sees them

‘NANA!!’

sera is also an attention whore so she always runs to him and wraps her arms around him and he squeals by how cute she is

bought him an expensive camera for his birthday

has a polaroid picture of him in her clear phone case

actually, her phone background is an old picture of predebut sera, jeno, and jaemin

one of the rare moments where she cried was when she found out that jaemin wouldnt be in a few comebacks bc he was sick

kept visiting him and jaemin cannot repay her enough

the dorm is full of ryan and winnie plushies from the sofa, a tiny winnie plush on the corner of the island counter, and their bedrooms

sera is the one who always throws away the his satanic drink even though it’s still full

‘yah, you need to think about your health and if it your body is tired, dont fight it by trying to drink these to keep your energy’

sleepovers with them are often and sometimes found sleeping on the spare bed in her room

FULL SUN

our big babie

oh boi when he got hurt

sera called him twice a day, one in the morning and one at night, just to check if it’s still hurting and making sure he’s resting

forever remembers when he dressed up as a girl

‘you see, i’m not the only girl member. dongsuk is just on hiatus right now’

his name on her phone is ‘man-child’

when he went on tour with 127, she really missed him

like she missed him so much that she kept posting on instagram for him to hurry back home

still mad that he moved dorms to be with the older members

when sera got sick, she made him sing ‘no longer’ to her like a lullaby

when he asks sera to do something for him, usually she says no because he asks her to do ridiculous things but his aegyo always convinces her

thinks his color amblyopia is so fascinating and adds more into the unique traits he has

another attention giver and she loves hugging him because he gives really warm hugs

one time, jeno and sera had a fight and it got so bad that hyuck had to be called and he was the only one who got to talk some sense in sera to talk to jeno

but the legendary markhyuck summer fight was resolved because sera yelled at them and cried since they are best friends and they shouldnt be like that to each other

they made up since ‘wow sera cried’ and ‘the members are ready to beat us up if we continue this’

and by members, like all members, including the older ones

sera knows how much being the moodmaker title burdens him so she tries to ease that burden by talking to him just the two of them

DOLPHIN CHILD

look how adorable he is UWU

he is 1/2 of sera’s sons

like she’s whipped for him and jisung and he knows it too

‘noona~’

‘yes, i will give you the world, the stars, and the moon’

thinks his laugh is endearing and is sad that it isnt that high-pitched anymore since his voice got a little deeper

cannot believe how much he’s grown too

when he speaks in chinese, sera thinks its the cutest thing

‘can we give his scalp some rest? its not healthy for the boy’

trust fund babies

you know how chenle has 3 airpods?

sera went through 4 phones since she keeps losing or breaking it

dont ask how bc shes as clumsy as namjoon

had this phase where he wouldn’t stop back-hugging his noona and she just left it alone

always buys him snacks and cooks him a lot of food bc she thinks he’s too skinny and wants him to be healthy and gain some fat on those cheeks again

on their break, she went to china with jisung and her lock screen is a picture of her and chenle holding his nephew

triggered her baby fever

czennies ship them but he makes it clear she’s the older sister he’s never had

nct dream took a vacation to her hometown and she bought them basketball tickets so chenle could see his idol

his mom practically adopted her since she goes over to his apartment all the time whenever the others are getting too much for her

she misses him so much its not even funny

JISUNG PWARK

our maknae is growing up :(

sera had the whole family sit and watch the first episode of dancing high

so proud of her boy

she called him during the show and it was shown and heard about her telling him to take care of himself and to not be too hard on his body and that she’s waiting for him at home

as the youngest member overall, sera babies him the most

he obvs takes advantage of it and she used to cuddle him to sleep when he was younger bc he had a hard time sleeping

again, cooks for him a lot since he’s a growing boy and making sure he takes vitamins and drinks water and limit sugary things

she calls his mom to give him updates about her son

remember his phone that he used until it actually died?

sera actually bought him a new one before that happened and just casually gave it to him

‘i know this was going to happen so i just took care of it. i have to take care of you, jisung-ah’

hypes him up whenever he dances bc wow this boy is actually talented

doesnt really like skinship but he tolerates it when she holds his hands bc theyre so much bigger than hers

one day just woke up and she got so confused when jisung grew up

‘did you grow in your sleep?’

‘n-no?’

loves his awkward nature and she keeps saying how adorable he is and cute he is whenever he acts cool

god, she’s just so whipped for him

but tbh, who isn’t?

aaaahhhhhh i cannot believe our wish came true and they became a fixed unit and we really getting a comeback and an mv in the 29th!!!

#nct dream #nct #nct 22nd member #nct dream 8th member #nct au #nct dream imagines #nct dream imagine #nct dream scenarios #nct dream scenario #nct dream 8th member au #8th member of nct dream #nct 22nd member au #22nd member of nct #nct dream female member #nct female member #nct female addition #nct dream female addition

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mistymark · 6 years ago

Text

the boyfriend one. [mark]

part of the NCT boyfriend series // mark lee // 0.9k

all round cUTIE

tackles you in hugs as a way of greeting you

but because ur smaller than him, he just kinda, envelopes you in his arms

smells really good

not a big fan of pda around the other members or in general really, so prefers lowkey chill dates

most of the time y’all are just watching a movie on the couch or going out for breakfast

movie nights (whether ur alone or w the other members) always end up with you sitting between his legs

kisses your shoulder when he gets bored, or when he doesnt think the others are looking

makes ugly faces or suspiciously glares at you from across the room

sHY BEaN

giggles into kisses one hundred per cent

when u first started dating he bought you a gift while he was travelling but later thought it was too sudden and was too shy to give it to you

kept it under his bed for months

finally gave it to you after y'all had been dating for like a Year

“do you like y/n” “no” “you’re dating” “still no”

likes lying on his bed with you against his chest and playing with your hands

really appreciates it when you nap with him

he claims he sleeps better with you

lets you accompany him to the studio but he becomes such a giggly MESS that you eventually just wait in the room outside so he can Get His Work Done

is constantly humming tunes in your ear

the Distracted // Subconscious type when it comes to affection

like,, he makes such a big deal about not showing pda in front of the other members,, but when he’s rushing out the door with his shoes half on and his hair a mess, he’ll quickly peck your cheek and leave

comes up behind you to read over your shoulder while eating and subconsciously back hugs you

like doesnt really think about it he just wants to be close to you all the time

loves comparing the size of your hands

“mark we know you’re dating y/n” “jskkjhg PSSS WHA- no way! they’re ugly”

does NOT think ur ugly

literally thinks you’re god’s gift to the world he thinks you’re stunning

when you get dressed up he’s literally speechless

the hyungs love to tease him about how whipped he is for you

when he’s sleepy he’ll draw shapes on your skin with his finger

SLUT FOR HAND HOLDING

uses lame excuses to hold your hand

holds your hand under the table at restaurants when you're out with the members

classic date lover; dinner and movies, mini golf, diners, etc.

he’s into that shit

takes 100 dumb selfies with you and keeps them all

even the blurry ones or the ones where he's blinking

probably texts you dog memes throughout the day when he’s bored

literally has his phone on do not disturb constantly so never remembers to text you back but makes a fuss when you dont respond to his texts in 0.3 seconds

whispers sweet nothings into your hair when ur cuddling

talks about the future with you but in a dumb sense like

“how many kids do you want” “mark-” “im thinking no kids but 200 dogs” “mark-” “NO BUT THEYD BE SO CUTE YOU CANT GET RID OF THEM”

LotS oF giGGLinG

his phone password is your birthday

it used to be his birthday but the members kept guessing it and hacking into his phone so he changed it

lowkey they know its ur birthday but they all think its so sweet and they dont want him to change it

talks about how much is mom would love you

loves lending you his clothes

because when you return them they smell like you

constantly trying to get you to sleep over at the dorm

brings you coffee or you bring him coffee

knows your orders for ur fave restaurants by heart but would never tell you that

buys you watermelon flavoured lip balm ;)

loves it when you ruffle his hair

makes a lot of sex jokes but PANICS if you ever respond with a flirty comment or something equally suggestive

doesnt care when u take sneaky pics of him like when ur just chilling or doing mundane things like grocery shopping you'll just snap a pic and he's chill w it - u keep them all bc he's super cute

y’all probably have folders of pics of each other sleeping

laughs at EVERYTHING you say

literally never sad when ur around

smiles at you whenever you look at him

tries to make you let him buy you things even though you always refuse

“COME ON ITS NOT EVEN EXPENSIVE Y/NNNNN”

shy forehead and nose kisses

mostly bc someones looking

“god I really want to kiss you right now”

happily will watch any movie with you but will talk through the entire thing

“what is she doing? why is she doing that? doesnt she know-”

can easily find you in a crowd

u have a dumb nickname that he made up and its ur contact name in his phone

he thinks its so clever and laughs whenever u roll ur eyes at it

sends u vine compilations that youve already seen 48586 times bc theyre literally 5 years old

uses ur face as a reaction meme but he doesnt know what a reaction meme is

all nighters where you just tell stories about things u did as kids

“one time when I was five-”

needs ur help with online shopping bc he cant do it himself

literally thinks ur a genius

overall hes a blessed boy and he deserves the world uwu

3K notes · View notes

sometimeinjoon · 6 years ago

Text

Feeling

2.3k, m

Ah, yes. The smell of your fucking Gucci perfume. Jungkook fucking hates it.

It’s not like he’s in any position to complain though, and he acknowledges that. “Yes, please give me the best seller,” he remembers telling the woman at the booth. One whiff and he wants to pass out. Perfect. Humans like these smells.

Mortals’ very presence pesters him, really. But you’re so soft. Literally. He has to hold himself when he’s around you. It’s going to be a bit gruesome for the god of the underworld to have to take his love down there; Charon won’t let him hear the end of it. “You did what?” he already pictures the ferryman chuckling. “Squeezed her tits too hard,” he’d have to answer. Whether that’s tragic or funny, he’s yet to decide. Usually he’d be prideful about his strength. But he doubts if he would be if he kills you with it.

It’s uncanny being around mortals, Jungkook thinks to himself. So fond of the physical things they can’t take when they pass. Fond of needlessly expensive things. Fond of weird jokes and —what were they called— emojis. This world doesn’t make sense to him. None of this does.

But oh does his heart flutter when you wear the lace lingerie he buys for you. And when you send the eggplant and tongue once you actually explain to him what it meant. He replies with that face that looks like a smirk and he’s livid that that makes you giggle. What the fuck?

But he also wants to make sure you’re happy. And spoiled. And feeling the emotions he has for you through tiny cartoons on your phone. He wants to clad you in silk that he’ll tear off once night falls. He wants you eating the finest food. It’s like this world is meant to make those who walk on it hypocrites: scoffing at things but indulging in them.

He’s in bed looking out the window and he wonders what it would be like to be a mortal. His rule in the underworld is coming to a close and he’s actually considering not staying as a guardian of the circles of hell. Even though he’s so fond of the weirdos in limbo. You did this to him. You made him want to be weak and materialistic and an emoji user. You made him want to be human.

He wonders if he’ll permanently like the way you smell when he converts. He wonders if he doesn’t need to worry about literally crushing you when he hugs you. He wonders what it would feel like to want to buy luxurious items “for the experience of having nice things”. If he does decide to become mortal, he’d be given a wonderful life here. The underworld owes him that much for having to deal with the literal worst assholes that have ever died. He’d be given a mansion, cars, money, acres upon acres of land.

He wants you there with him. He wants you laughing at the way he would mess up his sunny side up and settle for scrambled instead. He wants to put his hand on your thigh when you go for long drives. He wants to be as mortal as a mortal can be with you. He wants to indulge in the sins of the humans with you. He wants you to be his other half.

Then it settles on him that that’s what you are and what you have been for the past few months. You’ve accommodated him in your apartment and when he told you he’s literally Satan, you didn’t run away. You cook him meals he’s insisted he doesn’t need and you kiss his forehead when he pretends to fall asleep on your boobs.

It’s already 7 pm and he gets giddy because you’ll be home soon. He gets up and walks out of your bedroom and slumps himself onto the couch, drinking a bit of the ambrosia Hermes hooked him up with to turn his sense of smell into that of a mortal. It wears off after a few hours and he dare not waste it on hours he’s not with you. Hermes promised him a permanent ambrosia next week, and he’s excited.

One shot of that whiskey looking liquid and he’s drunk on the smell of the fabric softener you wash his clothes with and on the smell of the stargazers he bought you yesterday. And then you walk through the door and wow, fuck, that fucking Gucci perfume. He smiles from where he was seated and he can smell the takeaway you brought home, and dare he say it, he might suddenly be hungry.

He stands up to greet you once you place the bag on the coffee table. He gives you one of the lightest hugs he could muster and buries his face in your neck, the smell of your watermelon shampoo still so intoxicating even though there’s barely any scent left. He kisses your skin and he tells you he missed you. He asks you about your day and he listens. He listens to the most mundane things because he’s moved past being obliged to do so because it’s what humans do— he actually cares now. He cares about that dick that didn’t hold the elevator open for you. He cares about all the paperwork you finished so you could take the day off on Saturday. He cares about the donut place you and your friend tried out for lunch. He cares that you want to take him there on the weekend since you wouldn’t have work.

He smiles as you speak, and he smiles as you hand him the dinner he wants to remind you he doesn’t need. He smiles as he eats it and he smiles as he enjoys it, as he enjoys this simple thing with you. At this point, you’ve made him human. You’ve made him appreciate the little things being a god doesn’t provide. You’ve made him love.

Then he smiles when you kiss him. He smiles when you straddle him and tell him you’ve missed him too. He smiles as he wraps his arms around your waist and welcomes you into his chest. For the first time, he feels like he doesn’t need to be urgent with you. He doesn’t need to tear off your clothes and pin you to the bed like he’s so used to. And so he lets you feel that through his kiss. He lets you feel that in the way he caresses your body.

You’re wondering why Jungkook’s being so gentle and you ask him if he’s okay.

“I’ve already told you a million times, gods don’t do anything humans do,” he laughs. “We don’t get tired, we don’t get hungry, we don’t get sick.”

You nod and think of how he just doesn’t seem like a god when he’s with you. You think of how upset he gets when you overwork and how happy he gets when you bring home books written about him and his brothers. He seems so normal, so full of emotion. You tell him your thoughts and he says you’re right.

“We’re like humans in that regard, I do agree,” he says silently, kissing your knuckles. He looks at you and you’re wondering what he’s doing, what he’s feeling. Why he’s so kissy and so lax. Why he hasn’t carried you off into bed and spanked you a few times. Why you’re still clothed at this hour.

He pulls you to him and hugs you. He lays his hands flat against your back and starts moving them in circles. He notices how you relax under his touch and he feels a sense of pride that he can do that. That he can cause you something that isn’t pain. Pain is what he is good at, and for the longest time he thought it was the only thing he was capable of even when he strives to give you pleasure. He massages the small of your back and you moan— you moan! You moan at something that isn’t sex! Humans do that?

He runs his hands lower until he meets your ass, and he closes his eyes as he’s once again reminded of how soft humans feel. How soft you feel, as you’re the only one he’s ever touched so lovingly, so carefully. He’s built to tear flesh and to throw people around in Cocytus but he’s happy to just be running his hands around your body like this.

He holds your thighs and he carries you to you room and the smell of your humidifier reminds him of sex. Which is strange, since sex smells like sweat and cum and this, this feels so new. He’s not sure what to do with all that he’s feeling. He’s not supposed to be. Feeling. Feelings. Is it normal to feel so much all at once?

He lays you down gently and you’re looking at him wide-eyed and confused. He kisses you while he unbuttons your blouse and he takes it off of you slowly. He looks hungrily at your black bra but he unclasps it and sets it on the far edge of the bed. What’s happening? What happened to your demon? To your hungry, relentless god of the dead? Where has he gone?

“Have I ever told you how much I have to control myself around you? How careful I have to be because I don’t want to hurt you?” he asks. And no, he’s never told you, but you knew. You saw how carelessly he squeezes metal door handles and dents them. You saw how many ATM machines he’s broken because he just presses the buttons too hard. You saw how naturally strong he is but you’ve also seen how he’s cradled you in his arms at nights when you slept. How softly he runs his hands through your hair when you shower. How he rubbed your back a few moments ago. You never wanted to acknowledge how carefully he treats you because you’re going to fall in love with him if you do.

He’s removed every piece of clothing already, everything still intact, not shredded like they usually end up. He pulls his shirt over his head and kicks off his sweats. Then he kisses you again. And again. And again. He kisses you like kissing naked is what he intended to do.

You push him away and he looks concerned if he’s put too much weight on you or if he was holding your face a little too hard.

“What are you doing?” you ask him, voice full of lust. “Fuck me already.”

He shakes his head and smiles. He knows you’ve fantasized about being made love to. Tonight, he plans on making those fantasies come true.

He pulls you down the mattress and aligns himself to your entrance. He takes his time in teasing your pussy with the tip of his dick and you’re already moaning so much from that alone. You ask him to put it in and he does, but he does so painfully slow. You try to push yourself down on him but he’s holding you and there’s not much you can do. His brows are furrowed and he’s concentrating on how good you feel; how tight you are each time. He draws back when he’s halfway inside and he drives into you fully the second time. He fucks you slow but hard, his lips on yours. He’s making you feel every bit of him and you receive it, you welcome it with the moans and when he plays with your clit they only get louder. He notes that you’re moaning differently this time and maybe he’ll fuck you again like this tomorrow so he can hear them again. Maybe he’ll fuck you like this every night.

He takes you orgasm after orgasm, not once letting you switch how you’re laid down. He likes the control and depth he gets when you’re on all fours but he’s only changing how your legs are spread apart for him right now. Your back has not once left the sheets.

You insist he let you ride him and he obliges. He holds your waist for support and he helps you sink down on him. He tosses his head back in ecstasy and he looks at you with his eyes lidded like you were the most beautiful thing he’s seen. You are the most beautiful thing he’s seen.

His breathing becomes uneven and you quicken your movement. He nods, wordlessly telling you “yes, fuck me just like that.”

When he cums, he holds back the urge to say he loves you. He covers it up with moans and your name. He pulls your forehead to his and he kisses you again, as if saying thank you. He pecks your nose when you move back.

He cleans up while you doze off. He puts his shirt on you when he settles on the bed. He laughs at how tired you get from sex but he’s grateful he gets time alone to think while still in your presence.

Jungkook looks over and attempts to fix your hair while he hoists your head up onto his chest. He fights back several urges, but when he presses a kiss to your cheek he does it. “I love you” slipped off of his tongue like it was the most natural thing he could say.

All he’s going to be thinking about for the rest of the night is how quickly you said you loved him too.

#demon!jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook x oc #jungkook oneshot

628 notes · View notes

purplesurveys · 4 years ago

Text

900

1. What’s the last thing you ate? Shawarma. It was a usual meal of mine at school so I’ve been missing it a lot during this quarantine, and I was happy when my dad got me a couple ones yesterday.

2. What’s your favourite cheese? I haven’t been super experimental when it comes to cheese mainly because the better ones are a little expensive and I’m more willing to spend my money on other foods...but the best one I’ve had is feta.

3. What’s your favourite fish? My favorite cooked or grilled fish is tilapia and eel; as for raw fish I love tuna.

4. What’s your favourite fruit? I don’t really like fruit but I’m open to eating avocado-flavored things like shakes and cheesecake; and I’m okay with strawberry-flavored candy hahaha.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives? I’ve never liked olives. I take them out of my pizza and such.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer? I never *liked* beer but sometimes I’ll have a bottle if and only if it’s to socialize at a party. I just keep the grimace to myself lol because I personally never found it good. I had my first beer at Marielle’s debut, four years ago.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish? High school. That was when my palate started to expand and I wanted to try being more adventurous with food. I got into shellfish pretty early on and my mom even used to buy a kilo of mussels just for me.

8. What was the best thing your mum/dad/guardian used to make? I love my dad’s laksa, risotto, curries, and chicken wings. My mom doesn’t cook much but I do like her spaghetti.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown? My city doesn’t have native food of its own; and I’m not sure about my province’s specialtes either only because cuisines from other provinces are far more popular. I can say though that most visitors who come to the country often try adobo, sinigang, kare-kare, and bulalo.

10. What’s your comfort food? Cheeseburgers, samgyeopsal, pad thai, and chicken wings.

11. What’s your favourite type of chocolate? Milk chocolate. And it gets a lot of flak because it’s not actually chocolate, but I do enjoy the flavor of white chocolate too.

12. How do you like your steak? Rare.

13. How do you like your burger? I like mine with caramelized onions, a mayo-based sauce, and brioche buns; barbecue sauce or jalapeños are add-ons I have no problem being put in my burger. I don’t like tomatoes, pickles, and lettuce.

14. How do you like your eggs? Scrambled if on toast; omelette with cheese, tomatoes, mushrooms, and bell peppers if with rice; and obviously, poached if on top of an Eggs Benedict. I don’t have a preferred style for eggs.

15. How do you like your potatoes? As French fries or mojos.

16. How do you take your coffee? If someone is making the coffee for me, I request for lots of cream and sugar. I’d drink any kind of coffee but black. If I’m at a coffee shop I typically get caramel macchiato.

17. How do you take your tea? I enjoy lemonade iced tea. I don’t really like hot tea.

18. What’s your favourite mug? I suppose my favorite is the only mug I own, which is a white mug that changes colors depending on the temperature of the drink inside.

19. What’s your biscuit or cookie of choice? I can’t stand biscuits anymore because those are what my grandma/mom packed for my recess nearly everyday throughout grade school. I don’t like store-brought cookies either because they taste super processed, but my favorite as a kid were the Presto peanut butter cookies.

20. What’s your ideal breakfast? Garlic rice, a packed omelette, and hashbrowns if I’m somewhere fancy. Scrambled eggs and hotdogs when I’m at home.

21. What’s your ideal sandwich? Monte Cristo or banh mi.

22. What’s your ideal pizza: Quattro formaggi. If we’re talking more experimental pizzas, barbecue pizza is a guilty pleasure.

23. What’s your ideal pie (sweet or savoury)? I’m not a big pie person but I do love savory a lot more, like chicken pot pie. I think most of the sweet pies out there are fruit-based anyway.

24. What’s your ideal salad? Spicy tuna salad. I’ve been having such a craving for it :(

25. What food do you always like to have in the fridge? We always have white bread, eggs, my mom’s cranberry juice, and veggies.

26. What food do you always like to have in the freezer? In the freezer we never run out of various meats and frozen meal packs, like frozen bangus, hotdogs, chicken nuggets, French fries, etc. We also often have ice cream, but it’s not a must-have for us obviously.

27. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard? Pasta, canned food like luncheon meat and corned beef, cup noodles, various condiments like soy sauce and fish sauce, 3-in-1 coffee.

28. What spices can you not live without? I can’t cook but I do know I like salt, pepper, paprika, and cumin. I’m sure I’m missing other essential ones lol

29. What sauces can you not live without? Sriracha, bagoong, banana ketchup, gochujang, peanut sauce, gravy, barbecue sauce, aioli, mayonnaise.

30. Where do you buy most of your food? My parents don’t have a supermarket preference; they just go to wherever is most convenient for them at the moment. Once I start doing my own grocery shopping though I would rather go to a supermarket where they’d have a wider selection for foreign foods, like those that would have Pop-Tarts and sriracha sauce. Just the foodie in me that constantly has to have food from other cultures.

31. How often do you go food shopping? My parents do the groceries once every two or three weeks, I think.

33. What’s the most expensive piece of kitchen equipment you own? Aside from the obvious ref or cooking range, probably the coffee maker. Not sure how much it cost my parents but it’s supposed to be branded haha.

34. What’s the last piece of equipment you bought for your kitchen? Dad bought a couple of pans because he didn’t like how our old ones were starting to get too many scratches.

35. What piece of kitchen equipment could you not live without? Refrigerator. So many things would spoil without it...that’s why when we get blackouts the first thing we worry about is how long the ref would stay cold.

36. How many times a week/month do you cook from raw ingredients? I’ve only done it once.

37. What’s the last thing you cooked from raw ingredients?

38. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry? Crocodile, carabao, lamb.

39. What’s the last time you ate something that had fallen on the floor? Don’t remember exactly when but it has to be sometime recently. I’m not too grossed out by this.

40. What’s the last time you ate something you’d picked in the wild? I have never done this.

41. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi – Indian, Thai, Italian, Japanese, Chinese, Mexican. This question is a teeny bit annoying and a little offensive. How would you like it if I referred to American food as ‘ribs’ lol

42. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum – Vodka, rum, (some) whiskey. I don’t drink brandy because that’s what my grandpa, who had alcohol issues, used to drink.

43. Arrange the following in order of preference: Garlic, Basil, Lime, Mint, Ginger, Aniseed – Aniseed, garlic, basil, ginger, lime, mint.

44. Arrange the following in order of preference: Pineapple, Orange, Apple, Strawberry, Cherry, Watermelon, Banana. –

45. Bread and spread: I don’t really munch on this particular food. Toast and butter is enough for me.

46. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order? It’s either KFC or Jollibee. In KFC I get a Zinger and a brownie; in Jollibee, I usually order the chicken-spaghetti set, large fries, and a Yum Burger. If they have tuna pie on the menu I’d get that too. My appetite gets exceptionally large when it comes to Jollibee hahahaha.

47. Pick a city. What are the best dining experiences you’ve had in that city? I no longer remember what exactly I ate but I had a blaaaast eating in Bali. I also had a sushi platter in Fukuoka that I’ll never forget.

48. What’s your choice of tipple at the end of a long day? I don’t drink regularly but if I’m out with friends and we want to chill after a tiring day, we get a pitcher of a mixed drink.

49. What’s the next thing you’ll eat? Eggs and hotdogs for breakfast. Probably with bread.

50. Are you hungry now? A little bit, considering it’s nearly 10 and I still haven’t had breakfast.

51. Do you eat your breakfast everyday? I’ve been having it everyday now because I’ve been home for...most of the year...sigh. But I skipped it all the time when I was in school because getting to class on time and having a clean attendance record mattered to me more than filling up my stomach. 52. At what time do you have breakfast? On weekdays I have it between 9-10 AM. On weekends when my parents are home, we have brunch instead at around 10:30-11 AM because they wake up late.

53. At what time do you have lunch? I normally skip lunch now. In school I just had tiny eating breaks throughout the day, but I didn’t have lunch per se.

54. What do you have for lunch? My usual purchases were instant noodles/kwek-kwek, tapsilog from Rodic’s, or shawarma rice. Thrived on these three for my entire college life.

55. At what time do you have dinner? 7-8 PM, depending on whenever my dad is finished cooking.

56. What do you have for dinner? My dad likes changing up our dishes everyday :) It’s one of my favorite things about quarantine. Outside of the quarantine, I’ve never had a main dinner dish.

57. Do you light candles during dinner? No.

58. How many chairs are there in your dining room and who sits in the main chair? 6 chairs. We don’t have a ‘main’ chair that’s larger than the rest, but my dad is the one who sits on the chair on one end of the dining table, or what we call the kabisera in Filipino. My mom, siblings, and I sit on either side of him.

59. Do you eat and drink using your right hand or the left one? I use my right hand for the spoon and my left hand for the fork. I drink with my right hand most of the time.

61. Mention the veggies that you like most: Broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce, cabbage, spinach, asparagus, string beans. Idk what eggplants and bell peppers are but I like those too.

62. What fruit and vegetable do you like the least? Cucumber and ampalaya. 63. You like your fruit salad to have more: Air. Hahahaha I do not like fruit salads.

64. You prefer your vegetable salad to contain more: I love vegetables but don’t really eat vegetable salads? I don’t think I’ve even heard of those.

65. What’s your favourite sandwich spread? Whatever goes on banh mi.

66. What’s your favourite chocolate bar? Whittaker’s peanut butter chocolate.

67. What’s your favourite dessert? I really love macarons, cupcakes, and cheesecake.

68. What’s your favourite drink? Just water. Other drinks make me fuller more quickly.

69. What’s your favourite snack? Pringles, French fries, corndogs...anything deep-fried, really.

70. What’s your favourite bubble gum flavour? Strawberry, or just the original bubblegum flavor.

71. What’s your favourite ice cream flavour? Salted caramel, queso real, or cookies and cream.

72. What’s your favourite potato chip flavour? Original or sour cream and onion.

73. What’s your favourite soup? Miso. Have to have it whenever I have Japanese food.

74. What’s your favourite pizza? Already answered this, but I will always order quattro formaggi if I see it on a menu.

75. What’s your favourite type of dish? I have lots of favorites, but I think chicken curry takes the cake for me.

76. What food do you hate? Fruits, any dessert with fruits.

77. What’s your favourite restaurant? Yabu. It’s a Japanese restaurant that doesn’t even serve sushi (because I’m still ticked off by that sushi question lol).

78. Do you eat homemade food, or food delivered from outside? These days I eat food cooked by either parent. But when I’m on my own, I buy my food.

80. Who cooks at home? My dad does most of the time. My mom will make breakfast on the weekends.

81. What kind of diet (e.g. low-fat, high-fiber, high-carbohydrate, balanced diet etc.) do you have? I’m not on any.

82. How do you keep yourself fit? I just moderate my food intake in general and make sure I stop eating once I feel full. I don’t work out or count calories and stuff.

#survey #surveys

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juliadfdias · 5 years ago

Photo

Five favorite fragrances of 2019

The year 2019 for me has been a year of new perfumes, new discoveries in the beauty market, trying out new products, etc. I have bought or got as a gift a bunch of new scents to wear. I use them depending on my mood and also depending on the weather outside. I have some fragrances for the cold days, for the warmer ones, for rainy days when I need a bit of sunshine, for a date.. Here’s a post about the ones I wore the most! They are in no particular order!

Sky Di Gioia by GIORGIO ARMANI I’ve had Acqua Di Gioia by Giorgio Armani before; a very fresh and citrus-y smell. I bought it twice in less than 2 years. My mom gave me Sky Di Gioia because she was sure I was going to like it. She was right! It was more floral and more fruity than Acqua Di Gioia, which was one of my all time fave perfumes ever (yes)! It smells like a bouquet of peonies, roses, with a fruity hint of pear, blackberry and litchi. It’s very subtle and long lasting. I wear it for any time of year and any occasion: work, shopping, hanging out with friends. I’ve also tried Acqua Di Gioia by Giorgio Armani.

Coach Floral Eau de Parfum by COACH Another floral perfume - I can’t help myself, it just fits so well with me. The notes of pineapple, tea rose, gardenia and musk give you a delicate and fresh scent that lasts for hours! Whenever I wear it, I feel like I just came out of a bathtub filled with flowers! I love it! I mostly use it during winter time and spring. On Summer, I need more of a fruity one.

Princess of Hearts by VERA WANG Imagine a cake with whipped cream, strawberries and a place of watermelon slices around it. That’s what it smells like. Pure heaven. I first tried it in a drug store not far from my boyfriend’s place. It was a new fragrance by Vera Wang. I bought one to try it out and instantly fell in love. Not even a week later I was back at the store and bought 2 more bottles: they were on sale because they were only available for a limited time! I hope they’ll bring this one back.. I wear this one SO MUCH during Summer, it’s crazy. I try to use my other perfumes because I don’t want it to go so fast. I still have a small bottle left (oh no) so I’m wearing it only for cute date nights or special occasions. I always get good compliments whenever I use it!

Replica: Flower market by MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA This is one of the most expensive perfume bottles I own. My fiance gave it to me for my birthday and I was shocked. But damn, it smells SO. DAMN. GOOD. It smells exactly like in a flower shop. My sister once worked as a florist, that’s how I know. It’s just like smelling fresh cut roses and a bouquet of jasmine. It’s the most floral I’ve ever had, and the most accurate. I use it year round. It’s really fresh enough to wear during Winter and floral enough for Summer. It lasts long on my skin and also on my clothes!

Miss Dior: Blooming Bouquet by DIOR Another perfume I got from my boyfriend - I just want to say, I smell them BEFORE he buys them so I know he’ll make a good purchase. Perfumes are expensive. Okay. Moving on. The Miss Dior collection has a bunch of different floral perfumes (Absolutely blooming, eau de parfum, eau de toilette...) and the names really look the same so it’s confusing. I’ve tried them all on my skin several times before choosing the right one. Blooming bouquet was the one I loved the most, it reacted well with my skin. It’s very floral, once again: peonies (gotta love the smell) and roses with a touch of white musk. It has also some light fruity notes: mandarin, apricot and peach. It’s the one I use the most at work because it’s not a strong smell. It’s also long lasting but it’s very delicate. Not as strong as Flower Market. Just enough to not be overwhelming.

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backbendersokka · 5 years ago

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the new one you reblogged.. can i... can i say 1-50 barring the ones that need my input?

cat you are KILLING me

1. who was the last person you sent a text to?

aghfasdah cat lmao

2. who was the last person you said ‘I love you’ to?

cat again ajhfdghasfd

3. favourite type of weather?

warm but with a breeze or a little rain

4. what’s your zodiac sign? do you relate to it?

cancer and YEAH KINDA

5. showers or baths?

i love a good bath but i don't have the time

6. favourite movie? (outside of mcu)

Bumblebee and Front Cover

7. favourite colour?

GREEN and maybe light blue

8. person your closest to in your family?

my sister even tho shes a bitch 1 like=1 prayer

9. last movie you watched?

Bumblebeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

10. show you’re currently binging?

none but the last one i binged was Lucifer

11. what’s your lockscreen?

a photo of me and my friend dressed up for my country’s version of Halloween

12. f*ck, marry, kill (pick three people)

fuck lucifer, marry mazikeen, kill chloe (aka my favourite characters from lucifer)

13. opinion on...

trump succ you guys should impeach him like peasants would overthrow their terrible disgusting king

14. a celebrity you hate?

don't think I have one

15. a celebrity you love?

Rdj bitch this is a tony stark stan blog do you expect anything else

16. a character you relate to the most?

uhhhhhhhhhhhh, noone??? idk

17. someone you’re looking forward to seeing?

my best friend Dora

18. what does the last text you sent say?

‘I KNOW HON ILY TOO’ at cat

19. do you believe in true love?

meh

20. have you ever been in love?

nah

21. if your ex texted you now how would you react?

you couldn't live with your own failure and where did that bring you? back to me

also whats up lucas long lime no see

22. baths or showers?

already answered

23. summer or winter?

summer

24. favourite memory from this year? (so far)

hanging out with my friend Niki shes very cool

25. favourite food?

NOODLES

26. put your music on shuffle and say the line you like most in the song

BULL RIDIN’ AND BOOBIES COWBOY HAT FROM GUCCI WRANGLER ON MY BOOTY

27. last book you read?

im currently reading ‘the five kingdoms’

28. can you sleep if there’s noise?

29. bad habits?

adopting internet humor irl

30. one regret you have?

being born

31. one bad thing that happened that worked out in the end?

fighting with some bitvh i hate

32. earliest memory?

my sister breaking my bottle when i was a baby on a porch in corfu

33. what do you want to do when you leave school?

make MONEY

34. what’s stressing you out right now?

nothing this hoe is chill

35. ever been drunk or high?

no i hate alcohol and drugs arent that common when you hang around with the right people

36. favourite type of clothing?

jean shorts

37. most expensive thing you’ve ever bought?

70 euro earrings but technically the money were my aunt’s

38. give me a song and I’ll tell you who it reminds me of (character or real person)

(pumpkins scream in the dead of night) young tony stark cuz he a rebellious hoe

39. who do you miss right now?

no one being alone is nice

40. have any siblings? are you close to them?

my sister and were close

41. tumblr friends or irl friends?

they have their pros and cons but i must say irl friends have a LOT more drama than tumblr friends take that as you will

42. do you want kids?

maybe adopting not really a fan of pushing a watermelon-sized object out of my v-gg

43. do you want to get married?

sure idgaf

44. describe your dream girl/boy

dream girl: think Megan Rapinoe, Miley Cyrus and Anna Fang from mortal engines

dream boy: agfgafdsasjaf bicep

45. one place you’d love to visit?

London

46. what’s on your bucket list?

sky diving

47. are you outgoing or shy?

a very weird mix of both

48. one piece of advice you live by?

i have two actually

(1) if it can be solved dw about it

(2) if you won't care in 5 years don't care now

49. how tall are you?

5′2

50. anything you want to ask!(why does professor membrane suck)

his shoes are wack

#For everyone scrolling I'm so sorry #fani answers #that's my wife #ask game answers

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livingcorner · 3 years ago

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The Best Knife Sets on Amazon, According to Hyperenthusiastic Reviewers

Whether you’re a beginner in the kitchen or a more seasoned chef, a set of knives can make cooking at home a whole lot easier. And if you really want to save time and effort, rather than building your knife collection one-by-one, you can buy a knife set. The trick, of course, is finding one that’s filled with actually nice, sharp knives. That’s why we’ve scoured Amazon to find the best knife sets that are highly praised by the most enthusiastic reviewers. And if you’re looking for something a bit more specific, we’ve covered the best kitchen knives, the best chef’s knives, even the best knives for kids, too.

Related Articles: The 8 Knives A Butcher Uses In Her Kitchen | 13 Chef’s Knives, Vetted 13 Ways

You're reading: The Best Knife Sets on Amazon, According to Hyperenthusiastic Reviewers

More than 20,000 reviewers give this knife set five stars and many were happy to find both an affordable and attractive option, but most importantly sharp. This isn’t a self-sharpening knife block, but more than 400 reviewers liked set’s external sharpener. One reviewer thinks it’s “the best part. Most people assume a knife will keep its sharpness throughout its lifetime, but unfortunately, that’s not true. When the time comes for them to dull down a bit, I can sharpen them right back up.” One reviewer who has a “modern looking kitchen” appreciates that this set, which he calls high quality, matches his decor with its “nice acrylic space saving rack.” He also adds that the “knives are already incredibly sharp” but the knife sharpener will come in handy as he plans to use these knives a lot. “Still on the fence? Just go for it, make the plunge,” says another reviewer. He’s owned these knives for three months and hasn’t had to sharpen them yet.

Over 8,000 five-star reviewers were impressed with the quality (and price) of this 22-piece kitchen-knife set from Farberware — and dozens appreciate the additional cooking tools. “We purchased this item for our home just after we moved in as a starter set. We absolutely love it,” writes one such reviewer. “The knives stay sharp, the scissors are great for so many household things, and the measuring cups are perfect for all your cooking needs.” Plus, all the pieces are dishwasher-safe, so they say there’s “no rusting,” and it’s “all well-crafted.” Another reviewer replaced their old kitchen knives with these and says the set “looks great on my counter and the knives have sliced through everything I’ve used them on so far effortlessly.”

If you’re new to the kitchen, this is an ideal starter kit. At least one reviewer describes it as a “beginners set … For an adult who doesn’t do that much cooking and just needs something that will cut different things — watermelon, chicken, a steak with dinner — this is great.” The set of 14 blades is comprehensive enough without being too overwhelming, which another reviewer appreciates. “I live alone, so it has all of the essentials without taking up too much of my counter space,” they say. And though reviewers comment on the relatively inexpensive price of this set, they also say that they are quality. “The knife is sturdy and has a good weight when you hold it,” one says. “The blades are super sharp and cut cleanly and easily.” Maybe best of all is that unlike many of the sets on this list, reviewers say they have had no issue washing these in the dishwasher.

“If you’re a professional chef, these likely aren’t the knives you’re bringing to work. If, however, like me you’re prepping and cooking two to three meals a day for your family, these are an excellent option,” writes one reviewer. And part of what makes these knives ideal for a home cook is their weight. “If like me, you’re looking for a quality, domestic knife that is lighter, and will help you effortlessly glide you through meal prep several times a day, these are a great choice,” one user writes, and another says it’s a “good weight especially for arthritic hands.” They are very sharp knives, and many others shared their cautionary tales of accidentally nicking themselves. But that’s not a bad thing: “Every cut is like a hot butter knife through butter, and will be for a long time if you take care of them.”

The durability of this “supersharp and heavy” set shocked and impressed reviewers. According to one, “I found myself buying knife block sets regularly because nothing under $200 lasts these days, until I purchased these. They are nice and weighed. Great quality and long lasting if taken care of property (hand wash and dry, don’t put in dishwasher or you could rust them). I am very pleased with these,” he says. Another reviewer — a professional chef for almost 20 years — previously thought that “you don’t get quality in an inexpensive knife set. This AmazonBasics Premium set really impressed me … This here is a quality product at a good price. Treat them with respect and they will last for YEARS.”

Read more: What do you write on a kitchen tea card?

Reviewers were impressed by this relatively inexpensive set’s ability to hold up to to pricier sets. One professional chef says, “I use high quality (read: expensive) knives at work all day. My budget-conscious fiance surprised me with these for the home. Needless to say, I was skeptical … So I put them to the test against my Miyabis. Incredible. I was truly shocked at how well these worked!” Dozens of reviewers also praised the sharpness of the blades, with one saying that even after six months, “They’re still the sharpest knives I’ve ever had and I haven’t even had to sharpen them since I opened them.” Others praise the knives’ weight, which “helps each slice come through nice and clean (and didn’t squish the tomatoes down!).” People also like the included kitchen shears, which are both “very well made” and “fantastic.”

Nearly 9,000 five-star reviewers love the sturdiness of these stainless-steel-handled knives, which they say are easy to clean and incredibly durable. (The set also comes with two kitchen shears and a built-in knife sharpener.) One reviewer, who’s purchased many different sets of knives over the years, calls this “the best” one yet. “I really like that the whole knife is one complete piece. Knives I’ve had in the past are made with the handle being a separate piece and those would either get [water-damaged] or the handle would eventually crack or break off,” they explain, adding, “I would buy these again in a second!” Another reviewer also found their performance to be comparable to a nearly-$1,000 set. “My last roommate had a $900 set of knives … I thought these might be okay, but not even close to the expensive set I was used to using,” they explain. “Not so! These are very sharp stainless-steel knives,” with “no wooden handles to worry about breaking.”

More affordable than the 15-piece set above, this stainless-steel set also gets praise from reviewers for its sleek design, sharp knives, and included scissors and sharpener. “The set is amazing,” begins one reviewer, who says the knives are “SO sharp … and very lightweight, but the handle is sturdy enough to give you control while cutting everything from onions to steak.” Another says they’ve “had this set for several months now. One thing I love is it doesn’t take up a lot of room on my kitchen counter. The black color is nice, it doesn’t look cheap, and the knives and scissor are sharp.” A third reviewer says that the knives “cut with such precision,” but the set still looks “nice and stylish” in their kitchen.

Reviewers say this knife set’s wooden handles and block make it an exceptionally attractive addition to any countertop. “I’m really impressed with these knives. The wood is very attractive, and with a mineral-oil treatment it looks even better,” one such reviewer writes. “The blades are very sharp and slice through both vegetables and meats with ease. I hand-wash them and have had no problems with rusting at all.” Reviewers also appreciate the included carving fork and external knife sharpener — though several warn that you may not even need to use the latter. “Um, so everyone in the house now has a new scar from the first time using these knives and not expecting how they cut literally everything like butter,” one reviewer says, adding that they “peeled a damn watermelon with these like it was a kiwi.”

This more affordable set is considerably smaller than the brand’s 16-piece set above, but reviewers find it just as stylish and sharp. One reviewer, who says that they’re “pretty particular about chef knives” and “weren’t expecting much,” reports that they’ve since used all the knives in the set, and “enjoy the feel and balance. I would buy these again.” Another home chef purchased theirs as an upgrade “from the random assortment of cheap knives I bought in college,” and is glad they did. “The wood handles and solid feel overall make it easier on the wrists to cut food,” they say, adding that the knives are so good that they’re planning on returning a more-expensive set from Cuisinart that they received as a gift. And a third reviewer describes the knives as “surgically sharp and very comfortable to use,” adding that they “cut VERY well.”

“I am a total knife snob and these knives are THE BEST,” writes one reviewer, who says these knives “genuinely bring me joy on a daily basis.” He lost a $300 set during a move and “didn’t want to cough up” that much money again. After buying these a little reluctantly, he writes,”I can honestly say that at half the price these knives are just as good as the alternatives. The steel is high-quality, they hold their sharpness, they’re well balanced and comfortable to hold, plus I love the modern glass knife block.” There are benefits to that glass block, other than aesthetics. Another customer explains: “It makes more sense than any other knife storage I’ve seen. First, the blades aren’t resting on anything. Unlike traditional wooden blocks, it’s terrifically easy to clean. Just take the top rack off, unscrew the tops of the pillars and it comes apart.” He likes the knives themselves, too, calling them “the best knives” he’s ever owned. “The knives worked like magic. They are very sharp, but if you handle them with care, they do the work for you,” says. One thing to remember, “don’t put wet knives in” the stand warms another reviewer. “They’ll cloud the inside of the glass.”

This set, as one reviewer writes, is made up of “extremely sharp and professional grade knives.” Another discerning reviewer says, “I was looking for forged Zwilling blades, made in Germany. These feature ice-hardened, stamped blades. When blades are hardened in this manner they’re more durable and long-lasting than regular stamped blades. You’ll immediately notice that the blades stay sharper for longer and will hold their edge.” Another reviewer praised that “you can just feel how well they are put together.” Yet another satisfied customer raved that “the knives are lightweight, well balanced and the handles are ergonomically well designed for a very comfortable grip, helping to lessen fatigue if doing a lot of prep work. I was surprised by how light [but also] sturdy [they are] thanks to German steel and Henckels tempering process.”

Japanese-made Global knives are a longtime favorite among chefs, knife sellers, and even Strategist editors for their supersharp blades and lightweight, ergonomic handles. That may be why more than 200 Amazon reviewers give this three-piece knife set — which includes a 3.5-inch paring knife, a five-inch chef’s prep knife, and an eight-inch chef’s knife — five out of five stars. But you don’t have to be a well-seasoned chef to add them to your knife block. “I just now started cooking — more specifically for a Whole30 [diet] — which is a whole lot of fruit and vegetables,” one reviewer who swapped out their old kitchen knives for these ones writes. “This set is PERFECT!” They use all three “every single day,” and are “so thrilled with them. Things that were once hard to ‘saw’ through such as lemons and sweet potatoes are now like cutting butter.” Another reviewer likes them so much they even gifted a set to their co-worker. “I absolutely love my Global knives. They look and feel great in your hand. Slicing, dicing, cutting, and chopping are a breeze.”

This beginner-friendly set is “a perfect knife for anyone who wants to start cooking for themselves, but isn’t a pro and not ready to invest in one of those reality kitchen knives that cost $100 or more,” writes one reviewer. Many others agree. Like this one, who says, “If all your cooking for is one or two people, then you don’t need something that can slice through a tin can in two seconds anyway. That’s too much knife for too little a job. So, for the price, the Zyliss is probably the best value you can get for something that approaches a serious chef’s knife.” These knives are easy to use, too, reviewers say. “The light weight is nice and the shape of the handle keeps my hands from cramping when I’m chopping a large batch of sturdy veggies,” says one. “The chef knife style blade is deep enough that I don’t have to worry about smooshing my knuckles into the cutting board, either.”

If you prefer a knife set with sheath covers that are still made of stainless steel, reviewers praised this one highly. “These blades are great, the sheaths are sturdy and look great,” says one shopper. “The knives fill and kitchen related task you may have. The orange knife is personally my favorite, cuts through all kinds of things with no effort needed: bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, my thumb, this thing cuts through anything.” Reviewers also said the knives were could withstand dishwasher cycles. “I bought these a while back and they are still holding up great, even with daily use and running them through the dishwasher. Love them,” says one shopper. And one reviewer, who isn’t sure the knives are actually stainless-steel, writes, “I do know that I kept one of these knives in water in my sink for two days, yes, I am ashamed, LOL, and nothing rusted.”

Read more: How to Organize Your Kitchen Cabinets and Pantry

Reviewers have sliced through fruit, bread, “Havarti cheese with no problem,” even a case of water bottles (though that reviewer “cut not only through the plastic casing, but also one of the water bottles themselves without even realizing it.”) To put it simply, this set of six knives is sharp. Similar to the AmazonBasics set, these are also stainless steel with a colorful coating — but they are slightly less non-stick. Nonetheless, many reviewers say it does “a great job of not sticking to food while slicing.” Lots of reviewers like the matching sheaths, too, which both protects users’ fingers and the blades themselves. But these Farberware knives can still take a bit of a beating: One reviewer has “spent a fortune over the years on beautiful, sharp knives” keeps coming back to these, because, “They are sharp and I abuse them, throw them in the dishwasher, and hack away.”

“Sharpest knife I’ve ever had in my house,” says one reviewer. “Cuts great and the ceramic coating makes sure nothing sticks to them, which makes them easy to clean.” Many other reviewers like the ceramic coating on these stainless-steel blades. “This was my first set of ceramic coated knives,” says one. “I will never go back to regular steel. These are great.” Others love the colors. “These knives have gorgeous colors, and they WORK,” one says, admitting their old roommate influenced them to get this set. “I was thrilled to see this set because I actually like these colors more personally. The sheaths are a wonderful addition to keep them sharp but I particularly like them because our knife drawer is just that much safer to reach into in a hurry.” Another reviewer says, “The color is so nice. It doesn’t peel and it’s so great to be able to identify my utensils among all my roommate’s stuff!”

Parents with little helpers in the kitchen love these kid-safe knives. They are plastic, so they are little finger-proof but strong enough to actually be effective. “They cut surprisingly well, through fruits like apples and pears, through shea butter, cocoa butter, bread, and other things,” one parent says. Another writes, “Don’t expect a fine chop or slice, of course, but kids can definitely help rough chop veggies and protein.” And while one parent said there is a bit of learning curve for kids, they eventually get the hang of it. “Took the kids two or three times of me really getting in there to teach them how to use and hold the knives and food, but they’re cutting their own strawberries pretty proficiently now after a couple weeks of practice,” they say. Kids as young as two can even do it according to one reviewer: “My 2-year-old cut her bananas and her strawberries without any issues. My 4-year-old cuts up fruit and sandwiches.” And while the consensus is these knives are kid-safe, many parents still suggest some supervision when using them.

Shoppers looking for something more portable than a knife block said this roll set was a “game changer.” One shopper praised the bag for its “heavy canvas” material, and another says they were “impressed by how much it holds.” A third reviewer, who brings this on his bike commute to his job at a restaurant, writes, “I’ve been in the food industry for more than ten years. This knife roll is awesome and for a very affordable price. You can fit all this and a bit more if you organize it … for this price and quality it can’t be beaten.” But even just parents who like to cook will appreciate this space-saving option: One reviewer reports that after giving this roll set to his dad, “ He cried with a smile I haven’t seen on his face in a very long time when he opened the roll and began looking at and handling each knife. Highly recommend.”

The Strategist is designed to surface the most useful, expert recommendations for things to buy across the vast e-commerce landscape. Some of our latest conquests include the best women’s jeans, rolling luggage, pillows for side sleepers, ultra-flattering pants, and bath towels. We update links when possible, but note that deals can expire and all prices are subject to change.

Every editorial product is independently selected. If you buy something through our links, New York may earn an affiliate commission. The Best Knife Sets on Amazon, According to Reviewers

Source: https://livingcorner.com.au Category: Kitchen

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