#mosquito infestation
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Diseases do Not Announce Their Arrival: Understanding and Preventing Poultry Diseases
In poultry farming, diseases pose a silent but ever-present threat to your flock. For most rural poultry farmers, the scourge of disease can lead to devastating consequences, ranging from financial losses to the eventual closure of operations. This article aims to educate poultry farmers on the causes, warning signs, and practical steps to mitigate poultry diseases effectively. The Heavy Cost of…
#aflatoxicosis#avian influenza#biosecurity in poultry#damp litter#disease outbreak#early warning signals#faulty vaccination#feed storage#fowl cholera#fowl pox#fowl typhoid#Gumboro disease#incubation period#low-quality feed#mosquito infestation#Newcastle disease#overcrowding in poultry#poor water quality#poultry biosecurity measures#poultry disease control#poultry disease prevention#poultry disease symptoms#poultry diseases#poultry farm management.#poultry farming#poultry farming tips#poultry health management#poultry mortality#rodent control#rural poultry farmers
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crazy how you can fr get used to anything. like I've fully just accepted that having to kill 10-15 spiders every day is just part of my routine now
#we're never making it out of this stupid fucking infestation bro WHERE ARE THEY EVEN COMING FROM#there's barely a surface that doesn't have a spider or six i shudder to think how many there'd be if I wasn't killing them#i dont even like killing bugs but what tf else am i gonna do become a magnus archives statement?? 😭#i literally had to stop in the middle of typing this coz i spotted 4 spiders 1 mosquito and 1 stinkbug I HATE IT HERE!!!#this too is because of climate change. im slowly losing my mind#barking
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thinking abt what you said with house viewing Benny as a son and I’m obsessed. Like. The man spent most of his life before the war presumably alone, and then after the bombs fell he was alone again, save for AI he himself devised. Then he decides to pull in some Tribes, and one kid shows promise! So sure, treat him well, train him, groom him to be his protege, then next thing you know UH OH he’s got developing paternal feelings towards this guy. Wanting some semblance of a family when the time has long since passed, yet fostering that feeling all the same seems so accurate for him. Benny meanwhile only views him as a boss, and not a particularly good one at that. makes me wonder how House must’ve felt when he found out about Bennys plans
I view it as House blames only himself for this, cause he kind of does in canon (strap in this is a long one).
When reflecting on the issue of Benny, House chastises himself first and foremost for not acting quickly enough when it comes to priming Benny. He describes Benny as being ambitious, ruthless and capable; compliments coming from a man like House. House has an ego and while he is logical enough to understand there was never any evidence Benny saw him as a father-figure, he lacks the humility to admit he let his own views on his relationship with Benny blind him to the activities happening behind the scenes.
I doubt that House was as aware as he makes out about what Benny was doing, he knew early on but certainly not early enough to stop Benny from hacking and obtaining a securitron along with getting the chip in the first place. I take it he was distracted by all the possibilities he was calculating of Vegas' success and growth with him steering and Benny as the new figure head, not because of any normal affection for Benny but the admiration of his capabilities. It's to be noted that House believed menial incentives (likely caps, booze, basic needs, etc..) were enough to keep Benny tame like the other Chairmen but, as evidenced by the Omertas and Mortimer in the WGS, this is not enough when it comes to more driven Vegas citizens. This implies he still undervalued Benny and created a space in which Benny felt the need to rebel.
House in my eyes is not sentimental in the traditional sense. I can imagine his pride was severely scorned as someone he certainly deemed dumber than him was, albeit only for a little, able to out-gambit him. It would definitely hit home seeing how his brother also betrayed him but I feel like that's why he's so apathetic when he tells the Courier to do as they see fit with Benny. I doubt the way he terrorized his brother brought him any emotional satisfaction other than a "Now who's in charge!" ego boost. Putting that same emotional intensity towards Benny isn't worth it because who does it benefit? Wasted time, wasted planning, and most importantly wasted potential are all he gets from continuing to be hands-on with Benny. I say the closest example is not being able to throw out old toys due to the memories attached but knowing it's necessary as they are broken or just taking up space for new ones, and then asking someone else to do it so you don't need to get caught up in the feelings of throwing something you put so much effort into. It's not Benny House cares about in my mind, not in a way that sounds healthy to any non-emotionally constipated individual, but what he could've represented for him, which is why he so quickly offers the same position to the Courier.
As for Benny's view on all of this, it was a long time coming. Benny didn't and doesn't believe House is a completely shitty boss. He admires what he's been shown and admits House knows how to run the strip, but disagrees with the directions. Ideologically, House is an anarcho-capitalist while Benny is just an anarchist. House wants to run the strip to profit, though money is not what he's concerned with being rich with anymore. Benny wants a free state that he wishes to become a place for the people, except for the Chairmen who would be on top (I like to remind people that Benny's motives were selfish but not for personal gain/power as was it for the people he actually saw as family). Benny was never looking for a father but a future. He was not interested in being adopted, or having the chairmen adopted, as bigger names still overshadowed in House's legacy.
Truly, it's easiest to summarize as House feeling strongly and thinking positively enough of Benny to start incorporating him into the future of Vegas (a huge honor actually) while Benny was so disillusioned by House's ego and indifference that he thought the only way Vegas could be the future is with House gone.
#tdlr House saw Benny as the perfect face of his Legacy while Benny saw his legacy as a stagnant mosquito infested pond#its more complex as house certainly would of been irate if he hadn't known and the courier came to kick benny's ass#but more someone being mad youre fucking with their things#i likely thing that even in a more traditional father son relationship House is conditional and would force Benny to confrom more to his#standards as I also believe the Chairmen are more tightly monitered due to bennys unique relation to house and being the first tribe#so itd be smothering and oppressive for someone like Benny even though imposing his beliefs and standards would be how House shows affectio#and fatherly praise which would result in Benny probably wanting to act out even more. like the only way a father son dynamic is healthy an#works is if house would relent some control and show he sees benny as an equal which would never happen cause its house but its still tragi#to me cause house has that longing for something more personal to him than Vegas and tries to fill it with progress cause its rather hard#to create those bonds in the state he is in and benny was the closest thing to that and even that he inadvertently ruined#but on benny house kinda ruined him cause the chairmen for all intents and purposes liked and trusted benny as a leader after bingo who#benny really only killed because of the illusions of grandeur house put into a young impressionable mind and how bingo refused to hear him#not to absolve him of his wrongdoings and being a dick but benny didnt just attack bingo he challenged him and won and in the end while#nostalgic none of the chairmen choose to leave and go back to the old way which says something cause they can leave#this is long and honestly should a seperate post on benny cause i have thoughts on him and how more people need to add his all roads traits#to get a cohesive picture of how hed really act#benny gecko#benny fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#robert edwin house#mr house fnv#mr house#ask#anon#sorry if this is confusing I have very indepth thoughts on all aspects and possibilites on how unhealthy and power inbalancey anything#with house would be but this is so interesting cause its oddly vulnerable for house of all people to disclose this to the courier
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Snakelet - Chapter 2
@augustofwhump Day 2 iv / shock / cry for help
Masterpost
CW: dehumanization, intimate whumper, royal whumper, vampire whumpee, strong pet whump vibes, kidnapping
You've heard of hurt/comfort, now let's give it up for comfort/hurt! :D
~
It's the best part of the day when Ziri and Zop emerge from their trances — long before sunrise, and longer before Janessa wakes up, so the two can share a proper meal without interruption.
"Ah-ah," Zop puts a hand on Ziri's shoulder as he starts to enter the kitchen. "I got it. You sit down, and I'll bring it to you, alright?"
With a grateful nod, he takes a seat on the denim couch, pain shooting through his sides regardless of how careful he tries to be.
Zop gets to work pouring a denim glass of blue blood from a denim pitcher, then prepares themself a denim bowl of denim cereal and denim milk. They resist the urge to plop down into the sofa, instead sitting gently to avoid bouncing their poor brother around, and they hand him his glass before angrily digging into their own meal.
"That bitch is lucky I can't get my claws on her. YET."
"At least it was an accident. For whatever that's worth." He tiredly rolls his eyes and takes a sip of blood.
"It's worth fuckin' nothin'. I don't give a shit if it was on purpose, I give a shit that she broke your damn ribs!" They furrow their brow, a spark in their eyes. "If I didn't know better... I'd think she's gettin' more careless havin' you out there."
"...She doesn't get careless."
"Whaddya call last night, then?"
He takes a longer drink, looking at the ground. "She just... got a little angry, that's all."
"Angry enough to forget she was holdin' you, hm?"
"We can't count on her slipping up again, Zop. If anything, she'll be on the lookout for mistakes more now than ever."
"Come on, Keys. If she slipped once, it's worth thinkin' up a plan just in case it happens again, right? Just.. just for fun?"
Ziri returns Zop's pleading look with one of shame.
"...Maybe later. I'm kinda distracted by, y'know," he gestures to his side. "Taking a lot out of me."
Zop sighs sadly. "Aye. You should focus on restin' as best as you can right now."
"Thanks."
"'Course. You gonna try healing some more before or after?"
"After. I don't want to use up all my magic right now, just in case it... happens... again." He groans and buries his face in his hands, his voice strained. "I know. I know. Don't say it."
Zop doesn't have to read the flowers on his horns to pick up on his distress. They wordlessly open their arms, and he all but collapses into them with a shuddery sob. They wrap him in a secure, but gentle, hug.
"Shh, shh, shh. I'm here. It's gonna be alright."
They spend the next few hours like that, the sogginess of Zop's shitty cereal mattering far less to them than comforting Ziri. Upon hearing the telltale sounds of Janessa getting out of bed, he curls further into them with a whimper.
"I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't do it anymore."
They catch themself before offering the alternative. Even if they're trying to be selfless, the very thought of it just stresses him out more.
"This is the last day of the week she's seeing subjects, right? You just have to make it through today, and you'll have more time to recover."
Ziri gives them a look.
"...As much time as she gives you on normal days, anyway. Which is usually more."
With an exhausted sigh, Ziri slowly pushes away from Zop. "I should get ready."
"Do you need help?"
"Please."
He gestures to the crumpled denim on the floor that's marginally less uncomfortable than the others, and Zop fetches it as he undresses. A growl escapes him when they bring the demeaning outfit to him.
"This won't last forever. We'll get out of here. I promise." They offer him a small smile. "Even if we don't figure out a faster plan, we're on course to shatter this place in, what, a century?"
"Two, at this rate. Maybe three."
"Sooner than eternity, aye?"
"...Aye." He returns a weak smile of his own, takes a deep breath, and sticks out his arm for Zop. Once they've finished dressing him, he leans his head against their chest, and they wrap their arms around him once more, the two clinging to each other until he vanishes from the gem.
The first thing Ziri hears upon being summoned before Janessa is a scoff.
"Fucking.. crybaby. It can't hurt that badly. I know you can heal yourself."
He bows his head. "Forgive me, m'lady. I can only manage so much."
"Whatever. Here." She tosses a bottle at him, and he scrambles to catch it. "Drink up."
"Yes, m'lady." He downs the bottle as quickly as he can, hoping to get whatever unpleasant effects are in store for him as soon as possible, but... the only effect seems to be a substantial decrease in pain. He gives her a questioning look.
"Don't get used to it. It'd just be annoying if you were compromised as the result of an accident. We're going to move on and forget this ever happened, understood?"
He stifles the indignant laugh threatening to claw out of his throat. She can't honestly believe it's that easy.
"Of course, m'lady."
"Good boy. Now shift."
"...Yes, m'lady."
Ziri closes his eyes and lets out a weary sigh, forcibly willing himself to turn into a snake. The helplessness that comes with the form — the size, the lack of limbs — is enough to send him into a panic by now, even before Janessa reaches towards him. At least snakes can't cry.
Surprisingly, she doesn't grab him as usual. Her hand stops in front of his face.
"Arm."
Confused, he slithers onto her arm obediently. She hurriedly answers his unasked question.
"I just figured it'd be funnier to make you do it yourself since you hate being near me."
She doesn't look very amused...
...Is the one and only Empress Janessa Vurbone feeling remorse? For Ziri?
"Open."
She places a tablet on his tongue that melts into the most unpleasant blood he's ever experienced, and chuckles as he writhes in pain.
There goes that.
Regardless of her efforts to compensate by giving him far more bad "treats" than usual throughout the day, though, he still can't help but notice the uncharacteristic caution she handles him with. Not only does she hold him more loosely, but when she gets even mildly frustrated, she coincidentally has him perform a trick that keeps him out of her hands.
Gods, he wishes he could see what the actual fuck is going on in that head of hers.
As is, he can barely keep track of what's in his own, the layers of various pain and discomfort working together to turn his brain into soup. (Metaphorically, he hopes.) He tries to ground himself by paying a little more attention to his surroundings.
There's two — no, three — visitors, it seems. A large, burly elf, who seems to be in heated conversation with Janessa, a more slender elf standing by, and a pixie sitting on the slender elf's shoulder.
Is all that blood getting to his head, or does that pixie look familiar?
...Why are they looking at him like that?
Just as he starts to wonder if he should give Janessa a heads-up, the conversation shifts into a full-blown argument, even more intense than yesterday's. Janessa grits her teeth and pulls out a good treat, the glorious smell overriding whatever was going through his muddled mind, and lobs it across the room.
"Fetch."
He readily slithers towards it as fast as he can, savoring the blissful taste making everything just a little better.
His ecstasy is short-lived, however, interrupted by a firm hand around his sore abdomen. The slender elf towering above him wears an unsettling grin as they open their bag.
Too terrified to think, he telepathically screams to Janessa,
"M'LADY!"
She whips her head towards him, her eyes wider than he's ever seen them.
"Z—"
Her response is cut off the moment the bag closes over his head, leaving Ziri in a dark, empty void.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT. He is FUCKED. He's going to be in so much trouble for running off. Fuck, this isn't good. And that's assuming these strangers have mean well. If they don't...
The elf's wicked smile flashes in his mind. His breathing quickens.
"Empress Vurbone!"
The one time he wants to hear her horrid voice in his head, it's deafeningly silent.
Is the connection cut off? Just like that?
He shifts back into a satyr and hugs his knees to his chest. More to himself than anyone else, he quietly tries one last time.
"Janessa?"
#no i don't ship janessa and ziri. shut up.#i couldn't possibly ship such a toxic problematic fave. i mean least fave. shut up.#i don't have a ship name for them either. and if i did it wouldn't be almost identical to the god of doorways and transitions. shut up.#their hate-hate relationship is gonna be so stagnant we're gonna have a mosquito infestation#/lying btw#augustofwhump#augustofwhump2024#mine#snakelet#whump#whumpblr#whump writing#oc whump#vampire whumpee#nonhuman whumpee#immortal whumpee#ageless at least. and ridiculously difficult to kill#obedient whumpee#dehumanization#possessive whumper#intimate whumper#kidnapping whump#pet whump#on a technicality ig. it's not really gonna be pet whump after this though#shit there are caretaker tags too aren't there#angry caretaker#soft caretaker#(zip and zap respectively lmao)#sibling caretaker#sure that's a tag with 5 posts. let's make it 6
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i am tired of getting mosquito bites
#it's demeaning!! what do you mean i am a whole teenager in an upper middle class house that is infested with mosquitoes#and when im like “should we call a guy for this” my mother goes “well we have to get rid of these breeding spots first”#and then does not elaborate#where!! are they!!!!!!!!#she bought fucking bug zappers that are like tennis rackets because she'd rather do that than call someone#bffr.
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#quote#quote of the day#the four horseman#about to bitch slap the last bit#of this mosquito#infested#summer#out of the atmosphere#football season#sweater weather#pumpkin spice#colorful fall leaves#lol#lol quotes#lol memes
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i agree that people shouldn't aspire to make entire species of insects extinct but holy shit some of yall have 0 compassion or empathy for people who've directly had to live with infestations
#ill be real i just assume most people who get mad at others for venting about how much they hate bedbugs have lived a privileged life#if you've never had an infestation and been forced to live with one you don't realize how bad it gets sorry#if mosquitos are the worst pest bug you can think of then be grateful you haven't had to live with the hell that is bedbugs#I probably have ptsd from that no joke. it fucks you up mentally and physically and socially#but noooo go off and tell the people in poverty how they're actually evil for not wanting to live in those conditions
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"I hope you don't mind if I borrow these." Shino says lowly and ominously after having silently, and accidentally, sneaked up behind Sakura. It's just in his nature to be silent and unnoticeable, if Sakura jumps at that, it's not his problem.
By these, no explanations are needed, it's visible. Cockroaches are covering his hood and shoulders. "Because I don't think cockroaches belong in a hospital."
Despite being indeed immersed in her current medical files Sakura had this time managed to sense Shino's presence beforehand. Aside from it being a basic ninja skill,It had become an even more essential part of her training and thus she had gotten much better at it! No one wanted to be taken out while in the midst of performing emergency battlefield surgery after all! Which is why whenever she was working on anything medical ninjutsu related it had practically become second nature! Any other time off missions it might've not been the case But Right Now,...
"Please!" She practically begged him. In spite of Sakura's exact feelings as almost everyone else when it came to insects particularly of this variety, And her admittedly violent actions most of the time she did not enjoy killing things! Plus,It was a better solution than Shizune and the other nurses going around and spraying everything as usual,as the hospital was heavily sterilized as it is,as clearly evidenced by the constant smell. Not that it did very much good in this regard as it was a well known fact that cockroaches thrived in clean areas as much as dirty ones! If Sakura caught a single whiff of bug spray at this moment it would only just serve to make her task all the more exhausting!
#rp#muse;sakura haruno#kikaichuno#shino aburame#my Dad ran down to the bar where he met my Mom cus he couldn't stand the smell of the chemicals his roommate#and I think the exterminators were using during an infestation#so Ironically I am alive today because of cockroaches!#It's an embarrassing thing to admit but anyway#perhaps I should try to be more merciful! lol#seriously though#except to mosquitoes!
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every year i survive until Christmas and then i survive until next Christmas
#not even seasonal depression time but i yearn#even if the joy is artificial at least it is there#we're back in our struggle era#im so done#eggsistential speaks#im remembering how much of last fall was like an active crisis and i just do not want to go back#i don't think i stopped thinking about classwork for thirty consecutive minutes#then there was the week i couldn't walk bc of the mosquito infestation#idr if i ate real food on the regular that my suitemate (who i won't be living with :() didn't make#yeah i think i was animated by Christmas spirit and abject terror#at least my grades were good 👍 so worth it#and this was with one (1) easy class and my favorite professor who showed us her cats all the time#i remember having a pretty good time though which is. how. why.#like i relished in constantly being at the edge of a total breakdown and i can't see how i did#but when i get dropped back in there I'll probably love it again#doesn't help though all my classes last semester were easy as shit#and this semester has two of the toughest classes of my major#and no freebies#tag rant#i miss 25 degree sunny no wind weather there was a lot of that#junioritis ig#vent
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MATCHARELLA IS ACTUALLY RLLY CUTE 😭😭😭😭 mozzarella would find matcha interesting... weugh... matcha might actually get some love too... <3333 my lil lesbians...
YESSSS!!!
plus if they're dating they're not coming after sharky >:)
#matcharella#that's such a fun ship name!#but i can make a more creative one#por ejemplo:#mosquito-infested swamp#<3#mozzarella cookie#matcha cookie
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Boarding school core is going home for the weekend and sleeping on your bed that used to be filled with plushies and pillows to an empty bed with a thin blanket and a single pillow bc you took all of your stuff to school
#also taking your laundry basket home to force your parents to clean it for you bc theres a mosquito infestation#and if you do laundry youll have to put your clothes on drying hanger thingies#which mosquitoes see as a perfect place to lay eggs#what im saying id thqt thered mosquito laying eggs in our clothes#qnd im not risking that shit#ill be dead before you catch me fo my own laundry#not until all the mosquitos fucking die
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You fucking idiots dont fucking get it. ive been taking care of plants since i was 14. Ive tried FUCKING EVERYTHING. Fungus gnats are just apparently gonna exist around me no matter what i do or try, apparently just like these yerfs who also seem to be breeding like maggots.
#please! non plant experts stfu forever.#please! if you dont take care of a grden or live by a heavily wooded areas and dont have any plants inside too that arent succs-#shut the fuck up forever!!#whatever you're about to suggest! ive fucking tried it!!!#but of course. like the yerfs you are you cant ever take me at my word for my own experiences. its always that yall know whats right always#and never that im actually fucking correct about the shit i talk about. like maybe its just really fucking hard to control their population#did you ever consider that sometimes you have to make sacrifices if you want to take care of something like plants? i have to wake up at 6#in the morning now JUST to keep the squirrels scared away from my planters. bc if i sleep in at all i risk letting my plants die bc of#their bs. unfortunately theres just shit that comes with plants that you have to decide whether or not your love for plants is greater than#whatever bs you might encounter while you take care of them. and unfortunately one of those sacrifices is having to deal with fungus gnats#and bugs in general. yall think its so easy to control bugs in my apartment. im poor. nothing is sealed here.#i had a fucking mosquito infestation. how does that even happen? i dont fucking know! but it did.#ive had a meal moth infestation. how did they get in? they were breeding in a little bag of old food i had for my hermit crabs.#how did they get in and somehow get to that bag all the way in my room? WHO FUCKIN KNOWS! I SUSPECT THOUGH ITS BC IM FUCKIN POOR#AND THIS SHIT AINT SEALED IN HERE WELL ENOUGH. i have bug problems all the time.#and you're gonna tell me its just suddenly so easy to get rid of gnats.#this is why ik none of yall *actually* take care of plants. like actually truly. outside of what. your succulents and the one palm you have#im really happy that you have plants you can deprive of water for a few days but i have marsh plants! i have swamp plants! I CANT deprive#them of moisture acrually! so its really not that fucking easy to get eid of the fucking gnats! i feel like i should have to fucking#explain this. if you actually took care of plants forreal forreal you would know they are just not fucking easy to get rid of.#but naw. im trans. so that means i never know what im talking about about anything or whatever and yall gotta act paternalistic about#everything i do. meanwhile im sitting over here ripping out my hair about how dumb and juvenile YALL are bc ik for a gotdamn fact if any of#yall ugly fucks ACTUALLY took care of plants outside of the ornamental ones you have this wouldnt be a discussion.#but naw ya saw a jokey post of mine about how i felt defeated in my ability to get rid of the gnats and decided i wasnt actually trying#bc for some reason yall gotta assume that no trans person actually just knows wtf theyre talking about literally on anything.#anyways i hope yall get plagued by gnats forever and all your planrs die from them devouring the roots.#its like yall are new souls coming in acting like you're an old soul and im the actual old soul tryna tell you what it is but yall are just#*so convinced* you're right because everyone says im the crazy old man on the corner so that means i dont know anything or some#dumb reasoning like that. like idk maybe this old man has seen some shit and knows some shit but sure im sure yall little asses know wrf#ur talking about. totally.
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Every time I see someone whine abt being "annoyed" by a small bug or parasite I think of all those people who have to live alongside protected (ocasionally) man killing species like tigers, elephants, hippos etc and don't get to have any saying in it or cry about wanting them to go extinct for actual understandable reasons.
#like just be thankful you get to only cry abt a flea or mosquito bite#and live in country were you can buy repelants or get treated for potential diseases#some people still get bitten by stray dogs and die of rabies in this day and age remember that#frankly this is the first person i see who has a vendetta against fleas cause they are so easy to get rid off#and i can attest that not all species bite ppl. i lives with my aunt who had a literal flea infestation#like they would jump on ur bare foot the moment youd place it on the floor#at night id wake up and slap my neck and catch a flea#this went on for like 2 weeks until we got rid of them#but none managed to bite me. they were cat fleas ctenocephalides felis who were too small to actually penetrate my skin
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I think the Mosquito Drone™ is back again. And it's so loud, as usual. Why, Israel, why.
#and at 9 fucking pm#sonic boom chronicles#it's not enough that we've had an infestation of actual mosquitoes#(yesterday i killed at least 6 mosquitoes in my bathroom)#and now we have to deal with a giant mosquito in the sky AGAIN
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Mmm nothing like a good old full blown panic attack, I haven't had one in years. This time at least I have access to medication to make it stop a lot faster, but I have 6 pills left for the next 2,5 months and the recent trends in my mental state are not looking good.
#majek says shit#very bad year and VERY BAD week#had a new friend over for a few days and they had and encounter with an absolute bed bug infestation a couple days earlier#took all precautions they could and were very serious about the whole thing but were paranoid#something bit my bf on the knee literally the day after she left and we're in overdrive now#I say it's a mosquito because that night there was one in the house that I couldn't cath#but he says thats not how his body reacts to mosquitoes. I'm keeping myself in denial to preserve the little mental health I have left#my body decided that the stress will manifest as itchy hives which is great#we moved everything to my room and I'm going insane#I need my own space to live with someone and we even slept separately for like 2 years because it's better for sleep quality#and now we sleep together which is pretty nice and nicer than I remembered but also I have literally no space mental or physical#I'm unemployed and he works from home#we moved the tv to watch movies in bed and everything is taking so much physical space. my personal space#the house is a mess and my life is a mess and everything seems hopeless#I'm having... anxiety attacks? first once a week now every day. I always thought they were like milder panic attacks#they kinda are. as in they are shorter. and actually about something not the undescribed “watch out!”#but severity is like a panic attack was compressed into a few seconds which feel like I'm standing on the edge of a void pulling me in#it's physical. I have to physically hold on to something or move my body vigorously as if I'm shuffling away#and it lasts literally seconds and I'm fine-ish#my psychiatrist heard about it happening once a week and wrote me a prescription (?) to go to psychiatric hospital#not to stay there but for intensive 5-6h daily three month therapy#and after that visit I started having these attacks daily I think because it got to me that I'm Not Ok#it all started when I started on my new antidepressants and they are helping... but I'm afraid they are breaking something else...#I'm scared that they are#but so much is happening#unemployed for a year. my industry is going to shit. lost my friend who made sure to give me a big package of toxic waste as a farewell gift#so I have no support from anyone who even remotely understands me#unemployment means rejection over and over because I'm trying...#and this week exhausted me socially on top of everything. and the bed bugs threat. it's good I at least have xanax when it gets like today#oh also I'm turning 30 in a month. this is going to be great for job opportunities I can feel it
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My car flooded and my phone screen cracked in the same week. Somebody please fling me into the sun
#whining#guess who gets to spend the weekend in an N95 ripping up moldy and mosquito infested carpet#Also time to spend money I don't have on a new phone
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