#morris is gone and everything is just worse now

[actualredleader]

I just got back from the vet. My brother took me. We had to put down Morris. He got worse, and we couldn't afford to do more to help him. I tried everything I could to help him. I tried every single fucking thing to help him and it still wasn't enough in the end. He was with me through the most traumatic events in my life. I had him since he was a kitten and I was 16. My baby is gone. I held him in my arms and he purred the whole time because we loved each other so much. He purred until he went limp. My baby is gone. And everything is worse.

[that-one-i-think]

Nobody asked but I am going to do it anyway:

What I would have done with the Criminal Minds Mr. Scratch arc, but with a larger focus on Aaron and Jack Hotchner. This one will be a focus on Jack and Hotch's relationship during witsec and then will be reblogged with the rest of the plot. (All of this part would be going on along with the normal cases, a B plot)

One of the biggest reasons why Mr. Scratch became the serial killer he is today is due to his father. With Scratchs father being arrested from being accused of child abuse and then murdered in prison. So, with that added onto the fact that Peter Lewis was already stalking Jack, I feel that Peter Lewis would try to attack Hotch through one of the things he holds the most dear. His fatherhood.

Hotch and Jack would still go into witness protection, but ever the workaholic, wouldn't stop working the case. He would consistently break the witsec regulations in order to communicate with the BAU so he can bring Mr. Scratch down. It would mirror how he acted during the George Foyet case, except this time instead of driving his wife away and losing her, he drives away his son.

During this time, 12 year old Jack, who had just joined his middle school soccer team and had just made it into the art club. (Gonna give him an art interest due to Beth because she was written out waaaay to soon). Things were starting to look normal for Jack, but one day, during the halfway point of his game, he was picked up and put into witness protection.

Jack was pissed but with this being his 3rd time, he knew the drill. He lost his entire personality yet again and became his new identity, 15 year old Danny Lafayette, a kid from Wyoming who moved to Louisiana after the loss of him Mom to be closer to her family. That he could do.

Jack was angry at his dad, but he fortunately got his mom's acting ability, and after having Emily be his babysitter, he made sure that his dad never knew. So Jack established roots and made friends. Rather easy to do because he was now a freshman in high school and needed all of the help he could get. (Safer to go older when a serial killer is after you, cause who would put an average 7th grader into 9th grade?)

4 months went by, and Hotch and Jack were doing okay until Jack was taking a test when he gets called to the office because "his uncle died". They are moving again, this to Quebec Canada for a temporary stay while they are building new identities yet again.

For 4 weeks, Jack is Pierre Morris, a French kid who is in Quebec to reconnect with his dad. Hotch and the Witsec agents fully abused the fact that Emily and Reid babysat him. That is when his Witsec Agent set him up with an "anonymous therapist who specialized in people in witness protection.". His father encouraged it so Jack had no reason to distrust it.

Jack has sessions with the "therapist" every other day, and the two become close. Jack is happy, Hotch is happy and during that time, and that is when they move for the last time. With Jack putting on his last identity, Oliver Hall a

One month later and one day before Jacks birthday, he was on the shared computer on call with his "therapist" when he sees a message pop up. The "therapist" encourages him to look and that is when Jack finds out Aaron has been working the case and risking their safety.

If we think that Hotch's fight with Haley was bad, this was worse. Jack yelled for his dad, and Hotch came running, and that is when he saw the message on the computer. Jack immediately started yelling, and the two fought right then and there. It got to the point where Jack asked if the case was more important than him, and in the heat of the moment, Hotch yelled that he was saving lives.

At that moment, Jack did the only thing he could do and ran. He ran out of the house and just ran.

Unfortunately for both him and Hotch, Jack never ended the call, and the "therapist" heard everything. Next thing Jack knew, he was being picked up by his therapist and gone.

Check reblogs for part 2 (may be being written) and feel free to interact and comment

[i-didnt-do-1t]

Final delancey thought for this evening <3

-When Oscar was younger he was looking so desperately for someone to blame for everything, for the fact that his folks were shit, for the fact that he was sidled with the responsibility and burden of looking after morris, for the fact that they’re in this position where it’s dog eat dog and Snyder has taken to calling him a mutt.

(And Snyder says that he would be so much more if he didn’t have to drag morris behind him.)

And Oscar knows he has built up resentments about things which aren’t Morris’s fault, it’s not like the kid asked to be born and Morris is his brother and Oscar has to look out for him and protect him- but one day Morris says something, attacks someone out of turn, and Snyder decides that Oscar will be getting the lashes for it and that’s the straw that breaks the camels back.

Oscar has tried to blame God, has tried to blame his parents, this time he blames Morris.

So when he’s returned to the crowded bunk room from solitary the next day, back bleeding through his shirt, he doesn’t even look at Morris. He doesn’t acknowledge him when he comes up to his side, a quiet apology on his tongue, just shoulders right past him to some other kids bunk that’s his now he’s decided- and no one argues.

But Morris follows him again, calls his name, Oscar acts like he doesn’t hear him.

And it goes on for weeks. If anyone asks, Oscar doesn’t have a younger brother.

it comes to an end a month later, he knocks Morris into a wall as he walks past him without even looking at him and this time Morris shoves him back. That’s all it takes for Oscar to finally react to him again.

The fight doesn’t last long, they get separated a few seconds in by a couple of low level wardens, except Oscar is just tossed back in the bunk room. Morris is gone.

It was one thing to pretend his brother didn’t exist. It was another for him to genuinely not be there and the scars on Oscar’s back hurt suddenly, itchy and burning in a way they haven’t in a week or two.

And when Morris comes back the next day beaten and swollen with a blue and purple watercolour face, Oscar finally breaks, is at his side immediately as he’s tossed unceremoniously on the wooden floor.

And Morris, maybe half conscious and in so much pain he can barely breathe wants to be angry so badly, but he’s just so happy that Oscar is looking at him again, talking to him again, that all he feels is relief. After that they’re inseparable.

…

And it’s years later, and Oscar knows he should feel bad about it but nowadays there’s a sure fire way for him to get Morris to talk if oscar ever thinks he isn’t telling him something, or if he can tell Morris is thinking something Oscar wants to hear, he goes silent.

And Morris will ask him something, and when Oscar doesn’t answer he shoots him a look, a tense jaw and a glare and something so fucking angry because he knows what Oscar is doing but he has to fill the silence because if he talks Oscar will respond to him.

He knows exactly what Oscar is doing and he hates it but the sick feeling in his gut that his brother could just act like he doesn’t exist is all too present and as mad as it makes him the threat of that consequence is worse, so he talks.

And it works every time.

[offworldlamb-writes]

Day 29! I'm using day 28's prompt tho: Just say what you want.

Kane's use of a nickname hasn't gone unnoticed by Awen, but he's embarrassed when he realises she's found out what the word means.

Sap and fluff, for me anyway.

xxx

Dinner was quiet-- between her and Kane, at least; everyone else was talking as always and their silence went unnoticed until it was time to clear everything away. As before Awen offered to wash the dishes in lieu of helping with preparation, but before Morris could pick up the dishcloth to dry everything Kane pulled it from his hand and ushered him out of the room, coming to stand meekly next to Awen by the sink.

Acknowledging each other with a nod they went on for a bit in silence, undisturbed save for the slosh of the water and the occasional clatter of cutlery against plates. Quiet but definitely tense, to the point that Kane eventually buckled under the pressure and spoke up with a sigh. "It started as a joke, ok?" he mumbled, stacking mismatched plates together. "It was sarcasm. But it stuck, that's all."

She couldn't help but raise her eyebrows in disbelief when he said that, but nodded to help him feel better about it. It sounded very much like something he would do but she couldn't get the image of him going red earlier out of her head. And using something that was clearly so affectionate, as well-- that was the only reason she could believe he was joking right now.

It wasn't enough though, and he huffed again as he went to put the plates away. "I'm serious. It was just a stupid joke, ok? And I didn't really think you'd actually ask someone what it meant."

Her response of 'yeah, sure' made him pout-- he was trying to scowl but he was getting too flustered to be mad, only made worse when she chuckled. "Look it was funny at the time, alright? Just drop it."

"I'm not saying anything! You're the one who keeps bringing it up," she pointed out with another little laugh, which made him pause again and they went through another brief silence.

Awen was tittering softly about it still, feeling much less concerned about the meaning behind it now that she'd spoken to him. Past experiences made her very wary of any possessive pet names, but they were usually tied to arrogant men who would take the possessiveness much too far. Kane was an arrogant idiot, but this name didn't seem malicious in the slightest and whenever she heard it now she just felt warmth. Maybe it did start as a joke, but it was quickly becoming apparent that it wasn't one anymore.

Kane started on another excuse as he started drying cutlery, but stopped and stared at Awen when she cut across him. "Look, just sayvwhat you want if its just for fun. You don't have to prove anything. I believe you," she said, and flashed him a smile. "It's just a joke, right?"

xxx

The word in question is the same as 'cariad' in Welsh, which can be used in casual affection a bit like 'alright, babes?' or like your parents or such would call you it, but it can be used in the same sense as 'darling' or 'my love'. The literal translation is 'love'.

[thefactsofthematter]

delanceys. what is their psychology. why are they the way they are. why do they wanna punch down on those barely a peg below them on the class ladder. why do they hate jack specifically. go go go -@jack-kellys

ty @jack-kellys for enabling me!! i’ll lay down some backstory thoughts here, and i got another ask where i’ll get into my thoughts abt their personalities n stuff!!

okay here we go:

- so. they’re the only people jack knows who spent longer in the refuge than he did. they were already in there the first time he got put in, and didn’t get out until after his second stint there, when wiesel finally came to get them (claiming to be their long-lost uncle, when he really asked snyder if he could take a couple kids to put to work at the newspaper, and was given 14 year old oscar and 12 year old morris just to get them out of the way).

- spending a good chunk of their formative years in jail severely fucked up their worldview and ways of thinking. their dad dropped them off himself, not wanting anything to do with them after their mom died, and they’ve only had each other ever since.

- they spent over 3 years in there, surviving by keeping to themselves and never starting fights, only finishing them. they watched jack constantly mouth off at the guards and go kicking and screaming whenever he got dragged out of the room for some kind of punishment - and they resented him for it, bc the guards would often be much more aggressive and mean after incidents like that. jack kelly came into the refuge, made things worse for everyone, and then found some clever way to sneak out… TWICE. it was infuriating.

- so they finally got out, and started their new job at the world, only to find out that jack fucking kelly was a newsie now, and a popular one at that. he had the same smart mouth that got him in trouble in the refuge, but all it did out here was make the other kids laugh - and he often put it to use against oscar and morris, with cutting comments and mean jokes that felt unwarranted at first, pushing them to really start bullying jack and the newsies in return.

- their job at the newspaper is miserable, but there’s no escaping it - they spend long days counting and bundling papers, and then they have to stand there and hand them out to the newsies, who just seem like they have so much fun. those kids live with their friends in the lodging house, and they roam the streets all day, and they’re always laughing and joking… while oscar and morris share a tiny bedroom at wiesel’s place, and don’t often get to be around anyone other than each other. they’re paid only in room and board - if they were to try to run away and leave the job, they’d be homeless and penniless, with both wiesel and snyder out to chase them down.

- a detail i’m gonna elaborate on eventually is that i think oscar, as the older brother, is much angrier than morris is. his entire life has been about keeping morris safe… something he’s largely failed at. no matter what he does, he’s forced to see his brother scared and hurt and exhausted and beaten-down, practically all the time. morris, while just as big and strong as his brother, is scared of wiesel, scared of snyder, sometimes even scared of oscar’s bad moods and temper, meaning all of oscar’s efforts to protect him typically backfire and make things worse.

- so they’re angry. they punch down because that’s all that’s ever been done to them. they don’t care about anyone other than each other, and they resent jack and the newsies for a life that looks better than their own isolated one, despite knowing that it’s just as hard out there for them. the older they get, the more people they start to take their rage out on - like beating up on trolley strikers, which is the only type of extra work wiesel allows them to pick up in the evenings, or doing snyder’s dirty work and dragging kids to the refuge as some kind of revenge for everything they’ve gone through.

- they suck, right? but in their situation, who wouldn’t? it’s hard to feel bad for them, given how cruel they are in canon, but it’s definitely interesting to take a look at where they might’ve come from. these poor fellas just never managed to catch a break, and it ruined them :(

[scratchandplaster]

Stack The Deck - PART 9

CW: regretful Whumper, Lima syndrom, trauma, paranoia

PART 8 ⇽ [Masterlist] ⇾ PART 10

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Things had gone worse during the short break they took from each other. Morris came back to look at him, silent and frantic, while gathering his luggage.

Everything went by quickly after that, Elliot being lifted from the mattress and stashed away in the Civic's backseat, waiting to be picked up. He couldn't overhear the mysterious call Morris made in the next room, but whoever he spoke to made quite an impact on his behavior. Amber; she had to be it this time. He deserved to live after all, the high court decided.

Wordlessly, Morris had joined him in the car just moments later. Quiet curses roamed through the space between, his eyes always fixed on the man in the windshield's reflection. 

It felt like a dream, entering the daylight again. Melting snow coated the meadows and industrial structures that slipped past them with anxious pace, hinting at the first signs of winter. It's Sunday, he realized, the first Advent.

Just a few more rehearsals, and their performance would be flawless. He couldn't wait to see the joy they always brought to the audience, the more reserved admirers of their art had their own way to express that.

Suddenly, the car came to a stop. Elliot faintly recognized the area, a few miles away from suburbia; he was closer to home than he imagined. As he admired the gentle blanket of white that glazed the street, an ice-cold gust of air surprised him. Morris pushed himself out of the driver's side to open the rear door, with a firm grab on his coat collar, he was pulled out to stand.

"Up you go, Ell!"

The soft crunch of snow underneath felt surreal, like it didn't belong there. Swaying lightly in the frosty breeze, boiling up from the inside but breathing out nothing more than little clouds, Elliot was held up by strong hands.

It was Advent Sunday in the deserted wilderness, nobody in sight. A perfect place to get rid of someone.

With a painful frown in his features, Morris continued to search for eye contact and was rewarded with a glassy stare. He prayed to never meet him again, to be something else than the stopgap.

"Ell, you're a decent guy. I wished we had met under nicer circumstances."

Silence. Elliot thought about spring, and his mother. He doesn't call often enough.

"I will end your life, if any of this gets to the authorities."

Nodding synchronously to his heartbeat, he didn't dare to take the chance.

It's a trick, he's going to put a bullet into my head the second I turn around. The fact that Morris was way more fond of everything that could stab didn't convince him otherwise. It's a trick.

"I thought - you know, I had this whole plan made up... Fuck! It's going to be okay." Pulling the sad piece of dried up cotton out of his pocket, Morris began draping the scarf around Elliot's neck, back to its original purpose. Fingers plucked at it, fluffing it up and around to offer the best protection.

"Listen, it doesn't matter how you feel about me right now, the second you're downtown, you need to go to a hospital."

"Yeah." A caw was all he would get out anymore.

"Nonono, listen. You go to the ER and tell them you, I don't know, slammed your hand in a car door. They won't believe a word, but that doesn't matter. Stick to that story, and they will stop asking eventually." 

Morris had other worries right now, planning to delete all his unnoticed messages before anyone would lay an eye on it, a witness to his failure.

"Don't call her, okay? That's not your problem anymore."

Amber didn't use to be his problem for quite a while, actually, not until two days ago. He had pressed her and the little quirks she brought far away, the walls had ripped open now, bleeding inside and out.

Brown eyes dead focused on the asphalt, skin red with infection.

"Okay?"

Only nodding, again.

"Two miles, this way," Morris whispered closely and pointed to the steeple in the distance. It was a fast gesture, nearly over in a blink of an eye, but Elliot could still sense the firm hug Morris gave him, pressing into his shoulders to send shockwaves down his spine.

"In another life, I'm sure we would've had a great time together, right?" Putting the phone back into Elliot's pocket, Amber's number deleted just in case, he held the weak figure at his waist to keep it upright. There was a lot to say, an apology or maybe just a lonely goodbye, but nothing came over Morris' lips.

The pressure left Elliot, standing on his own. It would happen any second, he knew that now, a quick stab between the ribs to let it all out. Morris wouldn't drag this out, he was a decent man too, after all. Watching the sky, blues and grays mixing together in the morning sun, he waited for the end of his suffering.

The motor that never stopped running sounded so far away suddenly, just a buzz in the shell of his ear. He waited.

I don't call mom often enough, really.

Through the back mirror, Morris traced the abandoned man at the edge of the road. He looked so tiny against the open nature, vulnerable to the forces of nature.

Even if he had the nerve left to look at the license plates, he seemed to pass on this opportunity. They would be changed in the near future anyway. Before making it around a curve, he could see how his legs started to stumble forward, too bruised and stiff to bend correctly, but still going. He was expected back home; at least that he had to get right, the rest was irrelevant.

--------

Elliot couldn't remember how he made it back to his apartment building, the world drifted around him in a blur of colors. At one point, he carried himself into a subway station, leaning against the handrails like a wasted lunatic. 

He heard laughter far away, normally anxious it could be about him, but these thoughts were nowhere near. He was glad nobody spoke to him, no help, no nervous interest. Morris would be back, and everyone who suspected foul play regarding the injuries put themselves at the same risk he lived through.

Just me, just me and nobody else. Nobody can know-

Struggling to get the door open, his forehead pressed violently against the wood to keep balance, until the keys finally slipped in to enter the only place left untainted. With a clumsy kick of his foot, it slammed shut again.

Elliot would have fallen asleep, if a silent hop hadn't greeted him near instantly. It felt wrong to have Ginkgo's soft hair next to his agony-ridden body, her noiseless presence coming over him in a wave of peace. She must have been starving by now, neglected for days.

What am I even good for?

Silently apologizing over and over again, he let his unmarked hand pet over her back, smearing wayward fluids all through her precious gray-brown fur. Any minute now, it's not safe.

So caught in his fear he tasted at the back of his throat, he tried to remember something that was promised just a few minutes earlier.

The rabbit's tiny snout nibbled and licked at his elbow, kissing away some scattered drops of blood. Oh, I forgot the yogurt drops.

Half of him wasn't present anymore, gone with time. He was a stain on the mattress, a pool on the bathroom floor. It's a trick, he will come back again. Lost in the feverish heat of his own grimy body, he continued to lay still, only being roused by Ginkgo from time to time. 

I need to feed her.

Acting on autopilot again, his body moved towards the pantry. He watched himself fill her bowl up with fresh water along with hay and her usual muesli, ending the basic task by sitting next to her on the floor, breathing heavily. 

"You're okay," he gasped, not sure who of the two he meant, "you're going to be okay!"

The whole left side of his body was numb, its mere existence scrapped from the mind's perception, like it didn't belong to him.

He needed to prepare for his captor's return: barricade the door, get a knife - a hammer, anything to protect himself. Later, his screaming muscles dictated, letting the husk of a person sink into the ground beneath.

Elliot was allowed to rest now, although his suffering was for nothing. Alas, that's the nature of it.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Febuwhump 2023 Masterlist]

@febuwhump, @whatwasmyprevioususername

[noxexistant]

Ahhhh waves shyly at the gang and takes breath well!

What if Oscar sees Jack looking at davey like he's hung the sun moon and stars and he gets angry. He gets livid. Because how dare he flaunt his affection like that. He doesn't much care what happens to Kelly the dude had been unpleasant to them. But his open fondness for another man was dangerous for the david fellow who for the most part had been decent to them for his ragtag bunch of misfits who could be targeted but most importantly and Oscar's concern was that morris would see and think that it would be okay for him to find someone. He absolutely couldn't. Oscar couldn't wouldn't sacrifice Morris..... even if that unfortunately meant Morris's happiness must be sacrificed. It was for the greater good.

Oscar wanted the best for Morris they already were destined for a poor life he didn't want Morris's life to be any harder than it already would be. Oscar has half a mind to threaten Kelly make him stop being so nauseously in love. He wanted Morris to have good things...but in the times they lived in it just wasn't probable, and he didn't want Morris to hope,to try and attain that when it would only get him hurt or worse. He had to keep Morris safe. It was the only option.

(psst don’t worry, the gang is very nice. plus my ask box is basically just show and tell at this point, you can bring anything you like in here for me and everyone else to applaud.)

that being said, [SCREAMS]

ouhhh this is so so so good, this is the EXACT oscar and morris dynamic i live off of, and putting them opposite javid is Everything. oscar already hates jack kelly so much - he’s so bold and loud and full of bravado, operates like nothing matters to him, rattles his cage like he doesn’t care at all about who else is in there with him, meanwhile oscar has to sit stock still in his own because morris is in there with him and he’d sooner die than let morris get hurt again. he’s already been hurt so much.

and now here jack goddamn kelly is, once again, leaning on railings and flirting loudly and grinning like an idiot whenever davey jacobs’ eyes are on him. and davey is grinning back. they lean too close to each other as they talk, and stand close enough that their shoulders are always bumping, and when they talk about their plans for the day it’s always the two of them together. they sell together, have lunch together, stand in the damn line at sales together. and, when they think nobody’s looking, the brush hands and tap their foreheads together and smile, this private quiet little thing just for the two of them, and oscar wants them dead. gone, at least. a thousand miles away from where morris could see that and want it for himself. because morris can’t have it for himself - he can’t have a jack kelly who’ll operate with such bravado that most anyone won’t ever question him, and the few that do will be met with the fight to back it all up.

oscar threatens jack and jack doesn’t care, says it’d take nothing short of death to make him stop loving davey - and oscar thinks he’s full of shit. but then he sees jack and davey again in the street, sees jack soaking someone who said something derogatory or went for davey. oscar’s forced to rationalise that morris could be loved by someone, someone who wanted to protect him just like oscar does, but that’d mean trusting someone and oscar can’t do that. morris can, with time and the bare minimum of kindness, but that’s half the problem. if oscar trusted someone, morris loved someone, who then hurt morris? oscar’d never forgive himself. never forgive anyone. it’d be the last straw on the large pile of straws that’s been oscar and morris’ whole life.

with your blessing, i would absolutely looooove to write this as a fic :’)

[beevean]

Just post your Hecula rant you coward >:(

LET'S GOOOOOOOOO

I am embolded by the sheer amount of Dracula/Jonathan (harker, not morris) content floating around, I think people have realized by now that I'm a disgusting degenerate who very much likes the trope of "creepy ass old man falling in 'love' with a young boy/girl under his thumb" :'D

So this is a translation of this post, which I translated because I noticed some people seem to be interested in Hecula :)

Obviously there's going to be extensive talk of grooming and abuse.

It's hilarious how I fell into this rareship hell simply because

I memed too much about everyone in CoD wanting to fuck Hector (which is true and I can prove it);

no i will never stop using this image it awakened something in me worse than the Stabbing Scene

And then yeah, everything fell apart :'D

First of all I just want to say one thing: if CoD was more famous in the fandom, many more fans would accept the idea that Dracula fucked his Generals in between genocides. C'mon man, the set up is perfect. Y'all are cowards, I tell you :P

But other than that, it is interesting to compare the differences between Isaacula and Hecula.

Isaacula is your typical villain/simp ship. Isaac adores Dracula, he's literally crazy for him, he would destroy himself for him, and Dracula is like, "okay". Personally I like the idea that Dracula is perfectly aware of how much Isaac worships him (not that Isaac even tries to hide it lol), and takes the opportunity to manipulate him just the right amount... and c'mon, if a pretty boy offered himself to you like this, what would you do, not take advantage of the situation? 👀 But he sees Isaac as he would see… I dunno, his throne? It's there, it belongs to him, no one would touch it, he doesn't have to do anything else. It's not interesting.

Hector is interesting. Hector is a prodigy in the art of Devil Forging. Hector is a skilled fighter. Hector is smart (and so is Isaac, but he's a lot more emotional so he may seem dumber). Hector, after a childhood spent believing he didn't deserve to exist, is now realizing his own worth. Cold, proud, obedient Hector, without Isaac's fanaticism but far more efficient, and just as grateful to his benefactor.

I think there is a possibility for Dracula to be attracted to Hector. And yes, the mental image of him suddenly realizing one day that the shy little boy who one day knocked on his front door has grown to be such a handsome man in a short time makes me want to bite the flesh off my arms and it drives me insane <3

Not only that, but if I really wanted to be cynical, I could also point this out:

:)

Speaking of Leon, I can now get to the point of what I call the Bride Hector AU: Dracula, gone insane with grief over the loss of Lisa, clings to Hector tooth and nail (literally lmao) and insists on using him as a substitute for his wife.

It has been pointed out to me that, in that scene in LoI where Mathias proposes to Leon to join him in immortality, his goal may also have been to replace Elisabetha with his best friend. Mathias was clearly out of his mind with grief, and he trusted Leon, and he couldn't even comprehend that Leon maybe didn't want anything more to do with him. He just wanted company. He didn't want to experience his immortality alone.

But Leon was free to tell him to go fuck himself, rightfully so.

Hector, who is as handsome as Leon, as strong as Leon, and as dear to Dracula as Leon used to be (although in different ways, the two are not friends obv) does not have this freedom. Hector swore allegiance to Dracula, Hector became one of the strongest creatures in the world thanks to Dracula, and he still trusts the only person who granted him the right to exist.

Hector should be grateful to Dracula.

So, don't you think that kissing him isn't the least he can do to his Lord to compensate for all that he has given him? Or offering his neck? Or accepting to be brought to Lisa's old bedroom? :)

It's very, very easy for Dracula to get Hector to give him what he wants, even if Hector doesn't reciprocate Dracula's feelings at all. He doesn't need tricks or magic, he can simply exploit the loyalty of a poor boy who has no one else, and who by now is so used to being his Lord's favorite that he can't even consider disappointing him.

On the other hand, at the heart of it all there's an old man unable to move on. As a vampire, he's frozen in time, and it's very difficult for him to accept change. He became a vampire in the midst of grieving the loss of his first wife, and now he has lost his second one too? He can't do it. He can't handle the pain. He breaks. He needs someone.

And Hector just so happens to be right here, this pretty boy who can be seduced, who can help him feel less alone.

After Lisa's death, Dracula becomes... protective. Very protective. He will no longer allow anyone, not even God Himself, to take away the only light of his life. Which not only means protecting Hector from all the beasts that would dare to harm him or worse, but also making sure that the boy doesn't slip away from him. Dracula has complete control over his castle and all its residents... so Hector, love, you better be nice and don't do things that might displease your Lord :) like, for example, running back to Isaac, who meanwhile he's dying inside of jealousy :) oh, but don't worry, you're the favorite, so nothing will happen to you! But Isaac will take the fall :) so he will hate you even more, and your relationship will break down, and Hector will truly have no one left but his Lord :)

Or his husband :)

Dracula loses it more and more, he needs Lisa, he needs to feel sure that he will never be left alone again. He gets the morbid idea of marrying Hector and calling him his wife, even giving him the wedding ring that used to belong to that poor woman whom Hector might have seen as a mother figure. He can't escape. Now his Lord is his husband and Hector must behave accordingly, and if Dracula wants to be called by his first name and pet names while he fucks Hector on Lisa's bed, well, he has to do it. What can he do about it, say no? Hahahaha you're so funny <3

(A little appreciated perk is that, as a Devil Forgemaster, Hector is far tougher than a normal human, and he can conjure Fairies to heal most of his wounds. A perfect match for a ten-feet-tall cold vampire with sharp fangs and claws :) you're welcome, Hector dear <3)

Hector, needless to say, has a hard time clinging to his sanity. He doesn't want any of this. He doesn't want to be the sex toy of the person he once could have seen as a father, he doesn't want him to suck his blood so often that he's practically anemic by now (because, among other things, let's not forget that he still has to work), he doesn't want all these scars around his neck that almost form a collar he can't take off, he doesn't want Isaac to hate him and envy him for a situation he refuses to understand, he wants to be seen as Hector, as a person.

But he can't hate Dracula. Dracula isn't cruel with him, he just needs some help. Dracula did some good things too after all, and it's true that Hector can't live anywhere else, because only Dracula appreciates and accepts him. There is still a small part of Hector, the boy who was stoned by his peers and slapped by his mother, who still loves Dracula, to a certain extent.

But the more Dracula degenerates, the more the outside world doesn't seem so terrifying, compared to the madness of his Lord...

He's not Isaac. He is loyal and obedient, but he's not willing to objectify himself to this extent.

In short, I really really like this kind of dynamic, an older man seducing a younger person into a relationship of trust and dependency, until the younger person escapes and takes their life back into their own hands <3 and yes, while the idea of the older man thinking of the other as simply a warm body to fuck is appealing in its own right, I'm growing to love the alternative of him instead falling in "love", but it's a twisted, selfish, all consuming love.

tl;dr: hecula hot

And just in case, I have written 4 fanfics to explore these ideas :)

If you have a good tool, you use it, don't you?

It is forbidden to touch the Lord's belongings

Honeymoon (technically a spoiler but I long gave up on that)

Shame (the only fully SFW fic so far lmao)

[tuxedokit]

can you explain the Be More Psychic AU?

ill try my best !!! its, uh. its snowballed a lot from what it was, so here we go

be more chill SQUIPS, but psychonauts. more detailed under cut

at some point in the distant past, otto invented these things called PSI-SQUIPS, cause everything has a psi-prefix and leeping the SQUIP name makes it recognizeable. essentially, theyre similar to astralathes, in that theyre psychic devices to help you alter parts of yourself. though these are more "personal trainers" in that respect, rather than directly altering things, they implant in your mind and guide and direct you. still, not necessarily safe, and the idea was eventually abandoned. not before they were stocked in the otto-matic, hidden beneath layers of security and a high price. the notes for how to access them were lost amongst the notes in an old lab

cut to sometime during psychonauts 2. gisu, otto's mentee, is tasked with cleaning one of his old labs. while cleaning it, she finds these notes. she decides to investigate at some point, for science. at some point she activates one, using it on herself. it seems to be helpful, so maybe she tells morris about it. it couldnt hurt, right? i mean, this thing has really helped her with her focus.

flash forward post psychonauts 2. its been a couple months, the aquatos have been staying in the QA for a while, and things have settled into a new normal. a couple of the interns have been acting a little weird, but its probably nothing, right? i mean, trauma. thats probably it. dion hasnt apologized to raz for her shitty treatment of him, and generally has been going through it. it may have been a month or two or more, but the revelations are still hitting hard, and everyones recovering slowly. dion wants nothing more than to be a better sibling, better child, but... they dont know how.

and norma's been acting awfully sweet. dions met her a couple times before, and she was usually so... bitter. but now, sickeningly sweet. lizzie says shes been a better sister recently... dion is desperate. she wants to know how norma did it.

the PSI-SQUIP spreads.

dion asks it to help her be a better sister, brother, daughter, son. it instructs her. "cause no problems. listen to your parents, dont bother them, dont defy them. apologize to raz." "how? ive been so awful... where do i begin?"

gisu is seeing the effect its having on her friends all around her. oh god, this is getting out of hand. she asks her PSI-SQUIP, the leader, how to stop it. silly gisu. you cant.

in the meantime, siblings can tell something is off. dion is acting... wrong. they were already a bit of a "yes man" for mom and dad, but now... its. its hard to explain. somethings... somethings wrong. something is wrong. dion has a conversation with frazie at some point, about how "i have this thing that could help you feel better!" "about what?" "anything!" ...frazies not buyin it. she politely declines. okay, whatever. if frazie doesnt want her big brothers advice, too bad. its time to say youre sorry. time to find raz

it turns out, norma had already issued an apology of her own. dion is fed the script, an apology raz finds... eerily familiar. raz approaches the senior agents with his concerns. they say theyll help, but seem... dismissive. he also tells lili about his worries, and the two decide to investigate together.

raz and lili go to otto, gisu, anyone who isnt infected with... whatever this is. they start trying to find a solution

hollis is planning something. an event, of sorts? who knows the specifics, its not important. probably

dion, meanwhile, feels as though she screwed up worse somehow. following a script? really? the PSI-SQUIP is condescending, try again then it says. yeah. no. dion is tasked with talking to augustus. (a valid host)

gisu tries to resist. this has gone too far. poor gisu. it has only just begun

raz, lili, and their little resistance have a plan. otto will activate a PSI-SQUIP, take it down from the inside. it doesnt work, theyve evolved. the PSI-SQUIPS have become more than what otto made. stronger. malicious. a forgotten entity, left to rot. growing a mind of its own, a will of its own, a plan. they wind up having to enter ottos mind to fight it. they find they need to stop it at the source. the host. the leader.

days of resistance and torture build up and boil over for gisu. she breaks. the whole motherlobe shorts out, along with her PSI-SQUIP.

something changes in dion. just a bit. (the leader has decided on its host. gisu trusted dion. dion was regarded as incredibly competent.)

hollis' event is approaching. gisu stumbles into the lab of the resistance, frazzled. she knows whos infected and who isnt. she knows hollis is compromised. they assume hollis is the new host. they prepare.

it wants to spread. augustus declines. hes left wondering what the hell is going on with his kid.

dion tries to resist it. zap zap. now knowing this thing is capable of harm, dion makes an agreement. "dont fuck with my family and were cool." cool.

[aarcanechaoss]

3. Burn Butcher Burn

Masterlist

Tahlia has had a rough week and definitely needs more alcohol

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, sexual innuendo and wounds

Note: Read THIS for context on the meeting

Tahlia was angry beyond measure.

Captain Jack was just as pissed.

What kind of bullshit meeting was that? Her first week as Vice-Captain and she already wanted to throw the snobby elitist bastards across the country.

What kind of asshole implies her a whore and then insults her further by mocking her disfigurement. *Working for a pretty penny is what you did best right? So, you should understand. Though I doubt with hands like that it got you far.* Next time Tahlia sees Gueldre Poizot she’s going to…

A hand rests on her shoulder, pulling her from thought. Jack’s face is tight, angrier than she’s ever seen and yet it warms a part of her icy heart- the part she had cut off from the world years ago.

“I’m…” He began. “I’m sorry about the meeting… that’s never happened before, and I am disgusted by what the whale said.” He looked awkward, stumbling over his words, trying to comfort her.

“Don’t apologise for something that was not your fault. Thank you for getting defensive of me but I did work in a bar… unfortunately I have heard worse.”

“Still.” Jack said, his brows furrowing more.

“Plus… finally got Iris to raise her voice.” She snickered, deterring the conversation for them both.

“You know her? I’ve only ever seen her hiding behind Vangeance keke.”

“I know her well… She’s a shy lass and she can probably drink Yami under the table but she’s very sweet. Used to come to my market stalls and buy the trinkets I made and hand them out to the orphanage, but like I said very shy.”

“Drink Yami under the table? Keke.” Jack snickers. “Now that I’d like to see.”

“I’ll invite them out for drinks one day.” Tahlia mused.

The air fell cold again.

“That’ll never happen again under my watch keke.” Jack says seriously. Tahlia only smiled and patted the hand still resting on her shoulder.

“Thank you.” She says again, softer this time. It’s been years since anyone stood up for her- even when she can take care of herself.

Morris Sommar had offered to cook dinner that night, Finn and Damian offering to help- to cover for Tahlia who had taken to cooking every Friday. Both Captain and Vice-Captain- though both in foul moods- hadn’t expected to see them working together… considering last weeks debacle when Tahlia was unofficially made the Vice-Captain of the Green Mantis. It was nice to see that no fights had broken out at the base while they were gone.

“Captain, Vice… We made a roasted duck with mashed potatoes… I hope that’s good enough.” Morris had greeted them first. It was an unusual sight, seeing him covered in stray food and… is that flour? Over the last few months, he always seemed so prim, proper and collected, as is the life of nobles, but here he was grinning ear to ear as he presented the meal he had made (his brother huffing in the corner in annoyance) to his leaders.

“Well, I’m famished, and I have to say it smells great boy.” Tahlia said.

“Keke, I’m hungry lets get in and eat.” Jack added, guiding the much smaller woman towards the dining room- Morris walking behind, blushing from Tahlia’s praise.

~~*~~

The next few days felt like a blur of paperwork and lack of sleep- Tahlia isn’t sure if she actually ate a full meal and going by Damian’s worried looks she probably hadn’t (though the teen had taken his healer duties much more serious as of late).

She had days like this, she always had days where she threw herself into anything and everything just so she could keep her mind at bay.

She saw gruesome things over the years… years that flew by so fast that she barely remembers her own age some days. She’s heard terrible things (far worse than the insinuation that was laced in Poizot’s words) that would disgust even the worst people.

Nothing compared to the nightmares though. A nightmare that would start with her smooth uncrooked hands in a tangle of white hair, sweet kisses and a swell in her belly… a nightmare that ended in red.

She awoke with a start, a yelp leaving her lips against her wishes. She could feel Jack’s eyes on her as she slumped back into her chair. She’d fallen asleep amongst her paperwork and Jack hadn’t woken her up.

“What was that? Keke.” He asked, his scared eye widening comically as he waited for her to answer him.

“A knot in my neck.” She said, crooked fingers kneading into the knotted muscle along her neck. “Must have slept weird.”

“Have a break from all this paperwork for a bit. Ariadne sent a message an hour ago to remind you about getting drinks.” Her Captain said, clearly not believing her at all but he had a policy, if they didn’t want to talk then he didn’t push- granted he isn’t the cosiest person around he still listened… then sliced.

“Perhaps a break is a good idea… how, no, why do we have so much paperwork anyway?”

“Beats me.” He shrugged. “Now, keke, go before I slice you.”

Tahlia only laughed; she didn’t believe he would.

~~*~~

Ariadne was sat in their spot, just as she is every second Saturday afternoon, unless there is a mission… today’s only difference was the third pint at their table. Tahlia only raised her brow as she made her way through the slowly growing bar, an amass of thick white hair catching her eye- Ariadne had invited Iris along it seemed… or dragged her into being social.

“Ladies.” Tahlia greeted as she took her seat on the old word wooden seat. “How’s things?”

“I think my squad is aiming to beat Yami’s in having negative stars.” Ariadne groaned out immediately. “How hard is it to not destroy property?”

“The Mantis’ are just as bad… gods we’ve had so much paperwork I don’t think I can function.” Tahlia grumbled as she grasped a handful of mixed nuts, tilting her head back to eat them. “Our issue is the nobles though… thinking they are tough shit and all that.”

“Yeah that brings me to the question of the week… how did you become Vice?” Ariadne snorted; it was still so unbelievable to her. Iris only nodded her head quickly- she wanted to know as well.

“Fine.” The short woman huffed. “I got mad at the brats who weren’t doing their part of the chores, told the kids who do help me to leave the mess left behind, went and spoke to Jack, the others came crashing in, I got mad and threatened to throw them across the kingdom, someone yelled out that the VC can’t do that, we went back and forth of me saying that I wasn’t and them thinking I was and then boom Jack decided I was.”

“Wow.” Iris said, blue eyes wide as she stared on.

“Yeah that makes some sense.” Ariadne shrugged.

“So, what are you doing here Glamour girl?” Tahlia questioned.

Iris flinched as the conversation shifted, her face blooming a bright red.

“Capt- William asked me to accompany him thr-through town and then Ariadne stole me away. He said he’d pick me up in two hours.”

“Ooh William huh?” Ariadne teased- it only made the younger of the three women blush harder. “He’s even picking you up? Oooh.”

“He asked me to call him that after the last meeting.” Iris answered. Tahlia and Ariadne just smirked. “And he’s only picking me up because he doesn’t want me walking around inebriated.”

“Ooh things getting real serious at Goldie’s base I see.” Tahlia snorted, she just couldn’t help it, seeing her friends get flustered was hilarious. The white-haired woman’s stutter even more prominent than usual.

“Y-yeah a-and what about Captain Jack huh- looking real protective over there.”

“Iris has a point Tahls.”

“I’m sorry are we ignoring that you and Mr Lion have hooked up multiple times?” Tahlia scoffed- ah she loved girls night. Ariadne’s half covered face was now as red as her lovers cloak.

“It was just once.” She muttered.

“Once has you both down bad then… holy shit is he like a god down there or something?” Iris’ comment made the black-haired woman spit her beer back into its pint as she began laughing and coughing all at once- Ariadne however was about to combust.

“Iris!” Ariadne exclaimed, ignoring the short woman gasping for breath.

“What? It’s a genuine question.” Iris smirked. Tahlia only laughed harder, almost toppling off her chair- the bartend, not her former boss, shot them a look of concern.

“I thought you were supposed to be shyer than me.” The Grey Wolves Captain exclaimed.

Tahlia managed to catch her breath, gods she’d needed that. The last few days had been so stressful she hadn’t even got a chuckle in. One deep breath in, fixing herself back on her seat she stared at her brunette, masked friend.

“You said he was good at the tango.” Tahlia said seriously, trying desperately not to crack while Iris began giggling quietly.

“In confidence!”

“Iris clearly knows a thing or two sweetling.”

“Well… I…” Iris was stunted for words.

“Don’t worry Glamour I know plenty more.” Tahlia winked.

That’s how their girls nights went really. Tahlia and Ariadne would tease each other and give one another a break from reality and with Iris it was somehow more entertaining. The girl who was mostly quiet, who would stutter due to her anxious nature could be quite rowdy- though Tahlia knew that already, dying ones hair and competing in bar contests didn’t fool the short faery-like woman.

What none of them had expected was William appearing behind Iris, Finn by his side.

“Good evening.” William greeted. “I hope you’ve been well.”

“Oh, very good, very good indeed.” Tahlia chuckled, sending another wink Iris’ way.

“We’ve been well William.” Ariadne replied. “Hello Finn.”

“Hi Miss Grimmwolf.” The young man beamed.

“I hope you don’t mind me escorting Iris back before it gets too late.” William said, hand moving to rest on his knight’s shoulder.

“Careful Captain this lass is a wild one.” Tahlia joked, moving to stand beside the red-haired boy from her squad.

“Tahls!” Iris hissed- the group of knights only laughed.

“S’ppose I should head off too and try t’ get an actual nights rest before anyone forces me to take a vacation.” Her back clicked as she stretched, and without a hair moving from place (how she did that they’d never know). “You good t’ get back t’ ya base Ari?” Tahlia yawned.

“Marion should be here in three… two… there she is.” The brunette giggles, pointing towards her Vice-captain. “Alright ladies see you in a fortnight and boys see you ‘round.”

Ariadne was quick to make her way to Marion, leaving them in her wake.

“Man, Marion is so pretty, I’m jealous.” Iris sighed, leaning back into her Captain’s hand- a Captain who only smiled softly at her friend. Tahlia smiled too, at the peacefulness the scene gave her… it was nice, sometimes she found it too nice, but maybe that’s just the cynic in her.

“I know right, who gave her the right.” Tahlia joked, shaking her head from those stray thoughts that wandered around her mind.

“You are all very pretty.” William said- though his head was tilted away to hide the pink staining his cheek. Iris stood, his hand moving to rest on her lower back protectively- Tahlia just watched, as she always did, she watched them interact.

Tahlia hadn’t noticed it before, but Iris was tall, well in comparison to herself and Ariadne that is. When the white-haired woman stood proudly (you could hardly say she was even tipsy) she was the same height as her gentle Captain.

“Well have a safe trip back to your base you two- no funny business.” Tahlia joked, turning quickly with Finn on her tail.

~~*~~

Tahlia practically fell into the bath Alice had been kind enough to make for her (reminder; give Alice a nice present). The hot water just seemed to melt away her troubles and unfortunately sober her up a little. Now Ariadne was the lightweight between the three of them, but Tahlia found that today she’d let herself be a little frugal with her consumption and it was worth it.

That nightmare, a constant reminder that echoed in the back of her mind, her failure; that’s what it was. It was so long ago she would have thought she’d move on but-

Tahlia shook her head, black strands falling in her face as she did- she couldn’t be bothered being focused on keeping her hair unmoveable, though now with the mirror peaking through her left peripheral she wished she did.

Tahlia was an appealing woman to look at, she knows this. She had sharp features and moonstone grey eyes, her face void of any scars, marks or stress lines and a figure she had known many a partner to enjoy; but she had her flaws. Flaws like her twisted fingers from a magic accident, like the unnatural sharpness of her canine teeth and a strength that deterred many men… flaws like missing part of her ear- she honestly can’t remember how it even happened which is why she keeps it hidden, because how do you explain a lacerated ear if you don’t remember how it happened.

Next thing Tahlia knows she’s getting dressed and ready for bed… it’s been too painful of a week for her to care any longer. Perhaps later she’ll gift the kids that follow her around with something nice… maybe give Jack something too for dealing with all that paperwork for so long… No wonder the Wizard king was always running away.

[sea-side-scribbles]

Fanfiction: You Always Meet Twice

link to ao3

Chapter 42

Nick began to wander aimlessly through the Garden. It's colours and the magic were gone. Instead, it was cold and the wind chilled his skin under the shredded clothes. Once again, he felt worthless. All of this was too familiar. Being alone, having lost a loved one in a horrible argument by his own fault.

Why couldn't he stop being trouble?, he asked himself. Why did he have to drive everyone away from him? Why did he always hurt other people's feelings?

Nick hated himself. Still, something kept him from breaking down, as if his body hadn't fully processed what happened. He wandered on, as if he'd find a solution somewhere – or even as if the solution would find him.

At first, he followed the road to the village, not thinking about it. He relied entirely on his muscle memory. Then the road began to feel strange, as if now that Morrie wasn't with him, the village wouldn't be there either. The more he thought about the village, the more he realized that he didn't want to meet other people. He didn't want to be seen. He wanted to hide himself away forever. He wondered if the Yam had mercy and might end his suffering.

So he left the road and wandered through the high grass, passing by little forests and meadows. It was all very peaceful, but Nick couldn't enjoy the sight anymore. Everything felt cold and looked grey. The Garden was judging him. And Nick agreed.

When he was tired of wandering, he crawled into a bush of yellow flowers that finally hid his ugly face from the world. He felt soothed in there, even comfortable. As if the flowers would embrace him, now that nobody else did. There he cried.

He cried for an eternity, so it seemed. In a strange way, it felt good to mourn and the quiet soothed him, too. It was another familiar feeling. In the old days, every time he was down, he'd attempt to hide forever. He did it for days at least. Virgil would hammer against the door, beg and plead, scold and shout. The sounds would be barely comprehensible for him but somehow, Virgil would get in, or get him out and the show would go on.

Now, nobody would come. Nick would just stay here, hugging his knees and mourning. He could be stubborn like that, Virgil used to say. “What are you going to do about it now?”, Nick whispered to himself and chuckled quietly. The chuckle turned into heavy sobs. His feet and hands were cold, but he ignored them.

What he couldn't ignore was when it suddenly began to rain. He winced and shuddered, trying to protect himself under the canopy of flowers, but they helplessly danced in the wind and the rain poured down so heavily that their soft petals couldn't withstand. Nick looked around in panic and then darted out to seek shelter under a nearby tree. Sadly, it was a thin, young plant that couldn't protect him from the water that now came from the side, splattering against the trunk. Nick pressed himself against it until he spotted a bigger tree in the distance and ran for it. By then, he was soaked already.

The other tree was a relief. When Nick slumped down under it's canopy of leaves, the grass felt dry enough. Gasping for air, he glanced over the landscape. Where were all those houses when he needed them? He wished he remembered the map.

In the distance, he glimpsed something that looked like a building. It didn't really have a form, but it could've been made of stone walls. If it wasn't a plant, what would it be?, he mused. Since the dry area under his tree shrunk more and more, he had to try it anyway. So he ran.

Despite the cold, he nearly floated above ground, easily jumping over rocks and puddles on his way. The building came closer and Nick was disappointed to see a ruin in a worse shape than any he had seen before. The roof had collapsed, only a few planks and chunks of the walls were left. It was a mess of stone and wood, overgrown with ivy. Still, Nick didn't hesitate to dive into it.

He hurried back and forth until he found a place that protected him from the rain. There he sat between the remnants of walls and cuddled into another flower bush. His pulsing blood warmed him a little and he curled up into a ball to lose as less warmth as possible. When he closed his eyes and listened to the pattering of the rain on stone, he could pretend he was at home in his bedroom under his cosy blanket. He lay there for a long time again since he had no reason to leave. He perhaps even dozed off a little.

When Nick opened his eyes again, the rain had stopped. He listened and glanced around for a while, almost smiling. But his teeth were still clenched. He was very cold. With a new goal in mind, he crawled out of his hiding spot and began to gather wood. Morrie had made it look so easy. Perhaps it really wasn't a big deal. He only needed to get his shit together and try for real.

Imitating his teacher, he built a little fireplace and began the procedure. He needed several attempts to even turn a branch between his palms. His shaking hands didn't help. He also wished he had a newspaper. For that, however, he found a solution. At least he was sure that a shred of his trousers would make for a good substitute. Then he simply tried to redo what Morrie had done the day before. He turned the branch for a while until he had created a tiny bit of powder and held the cloth into it. He even blew against it but sadly, it didn't ignite.

Just try again, Nick thought and so he did. After a while, his hands began to hurt. He had to make longer pauses and became clumsier with every new attempt. One time he rejoiced when he got his cloth to emit smoke. It didn't ignite the logs, however, and the little spark soon went out. It was then that he noticed his logs were wet from the rain. He went to gather dry logs in the protected areas and found one after all. With that, he tried anew but he didn't produce smoke again.

In the meantime, it went dark. Very dark. Without the help of any lights, he couldn't see what he was doing. He tried in the dark until he was exhausted and his hands hurt too much. Desperately, he buried his head in his hands.

Two weeks! You fool want to learn in a day what Morrie learned in two weeks!

Nick sobbed. He realized he would sit here until he froze or starved. If he had stayed out in the rain and died there, it wouldn't have made a difference. He cried more out of shame than self-pity, though. What would Morrie say to this?, he wondered. He just proved that he was exactly the idiot Morrie thought he was.

Instead of considering his next steps and following Morrie's advice, he had run off to who knows where and doomed himself. He could be in the village now, asking for supplies, for a place to sleep, or seek one of the houses they found, even the ruin they had been in, no matter the memories. Instead he was here with no supplies, no fire, no food, no water...And he didn't know the way back.

For the first time, he felt how fatal this world was. One misstep and it would be over. Or in Nick's case, at trail of missteps and he was certainly done for. Perhaps this was his fate, he pondered. Being shown what a useless sack of shit he was and ending like this, lonely and miserable.

While he dwelled in thoughts, he saw a light appear somewhere far away. His head shot up at the sight and he stared at it, blinking rapidly. Was he crazy now? Or was that a plant? Another divine revelation? Or simply, a fire?

A warm fire, made my someone smarter than him, maybe a stew bubbling in a pot. Perhaps they would get along and Nick could pay them back somehow... His legs were already moving before he finished the thought. The image of a hot fire was too strong to resist. He climbed over rocks and fences, all the invisible obstacles in the dark. His eyes were fixed on the light while his hands and feet searched the ground. He could almost feel the heat on his skin.

When he had probably still 50 feet to go, the light suddenly began to move. Nick shook his head at that, believing he was going insane. Then he considered that the ground was moving like in one of his nightmares when he had a bad trip. He clutched a stone, dizzy and confused, but the light kept moving away from him. Was it...mocking him? Was it an illusion? A dream? Did he fall asleep in his hideout or was that a pre-death experience? Nick crawled on when he was sure that the ground was solid.

After a while, he had to climb over a fence and was surprised to hit a road on the other side. The road!, he shouted inwardly. Was he back? Did the light guide him back? But that couldn't be. He went too far away to get back so soon. But then again, what did he know? The light certainly knew more. Nick followed it, using the fence to stay on the solid road. It made the stroll much easier.

When the light passed by a bush of Nonsuches, it revealed the silhouette of a man, dressed entirely in black. It also showed that the light came from a point on his head. Immediately, Nick realized what was happening. The patrol. Morrie said they patrolled at night. There was a curfew and they made sure nobody was out at night. Nick huffed. How absurd! Here, in this no man's land! As if this Headboy came just to look for him alone.

Nick leaned against the fence he still clutched. He could hide again, he considered. This patrol would never find him unless he walked right on the road. But where would he go? He was still freezing and now it was obvious that a fire wouldn't come to him any time soon. Perhaps the light still was a sign. Perhaps it would be quick.

He thought about the baton he had seen on one of these guy's belts. If they hit hard enough, he probably wouldn't feel it. Then he wouldn't have to handle himself anymore. Wouldn't have to endure his mistakes and how he broke everyone's heart. His eyes welled up again. Shortly, he had felt Morrie's hands in his. His warm body, his soft voice. The tender kisses. “I wish you were here now...”, he whispered. “I'm putting an end to this...I hope....I hope you are okay and...find someone who treats you better than I did....” He curled up in his corner and waited. Eventually, the patrol would come back. It would be over soon.

Nick thought he couldn't stand the uncomfortable position any longer when finally he heard footsteps and at the same time, the light came closer. He peeked around the corner to see the figure approaching. The man had a baton. It looked very solid and polished. A second later, the light fell on him and suddenly, the weight of his decision hit him hard. He was frozen, staring at the other man who stared as well. Then the man drew the baton. “What is this?”, he shouted and darted at him. Nick still couldn't move. He closed his eyes, waiting for the blow.

The Headboy hesitated. This clearly wasn't a Plaguie. It didn't run from the light. Unless this was an earlier stage of the sickness, but he had never heard of that. When Nick looked up to him, it became obvious that he was alive and healthy. “I thought this would be quicker”, Nick said quietly and chuckled helplessly. “What are you doing out here in the open? Go home, you fool, or I blow your lights out!”, the man snapped at him. “I don't have a home”, Nick sighed. “I have nowhere to go.” “There's a ruin right there in this direction.” The man pointed at Nick's former hideout. “It'll make do.” “I was there already.” Nick shook his head. “It didn't make it better.” The man held the baton over Nick's head. “Would this make it better, huh?” “Yes...I...I think so...” Wide eyes begged.

The Headboy was puzzled. “Look, this isn't how it works. We're not a charity service. If you...er...need to settle old business, there's plenty of other options.” Nick remembered the couple that hanged themselves in their attic. He gulped. “I don't have a rope.” “I'm sure someone has! Ask around!” The Headboy scoffed but he was clearly uncomfortable with this conversation. Wastrels normally ended their lives alone and unseen. It was better this way. No need to ruin other people's mood even here. But this guy? Was he an attention sponge or did he mock him?

“Why can't you do it? I thought you were tougher! Tough guys, dressed in leather, armed to the teeth, but for what?”, now Nick snapped. “You watch your mouth!” The Headboy came closer. “To keep a starving grandma away from the water? Some tough guys you are!” “Fine!”, the Headboy blurted out. “One for charity! I hope you're proud of yourself!” The Headboy aimed, but his brain now told him what it had been noticing for a while. Scanning the pathetic Wastrel in front of him, he sneered: “I didn't think I'd beat up Nick Lightbearer one day!” Nick who had curled up stuck his head out again. “Yeah...That's truly strange....But what isn't strange in this place?”

The other man furrowed his brows. What a weird answer. “You're a Lookalike? Tribute show or something?” Nick shook his head. “I am Nick Lightbearer.” The Headboy huffed. “Sure man, whatever.” “It's so cruel to die like this!”, Nick went on because he needed to get it out. “I was a God! I was everyone's beloved idol, but now...You don't happen to be a fan, do you?” Nick eyed him, full of hope. “I...” The man blinked. “I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here.” Nick lost his spark of hope again, deflated, hung his head and sighed: “I just want a quick end. Please, can you make it quick? And don't look at me like that. I really am the Lightbearer!” Seeing the other man's face, he muttered: “Whatever.”

“You are Nick Lightbearer?” The man tried to process. Nick straightened himself, cleared his throat and sang the first lines of “Cheer up” before he stopped. “Gosh, that was awful! Forget that!” Crying hadn't helped his voice apart from the cold. But the Headboy had winced at the melody.

“You think you can sing the rest of this song? And more?” “I can sing all of my songs”, Nick eagerly answered. “If you care to listen.” “Wait. Not now.” The man held up a hand. “In the headquarters.” “What headquarters?” The Headboy ignored him. He seemed to think out loud. “The lads crave a good show. There's not much entertainment out here, especially after we lost our bard.” “Oh, sure...I'd love to perform again...You'd love it, too”, Nick butted in, finally seeing a chance. “And in case you disappoint us, we'd still have our fun with you!”, the man added with a devilish grin. Nick gulped again, thinking of his rough voice. Anything for his fans, right?

[dawnfire360]

Twenty minutes later they met a knight, on foot. He was soaking wet, and three brightly dyed feathers that once must have waved jauntily above his head were stuck to the side of his helm like drying plaster. One of the feathers, crimson in color, had bled dye in a pinkish line down onto the knight's shoulders. As their little cavalcade approached, the walking knight removed his helm and stared at them. "Gawain?" "Good morning, Griflet. You've...um...been bathing?"

The Princess, the Crone, and the Dung-Cart Knight, by Gerald Morris

[nought-shall-go-ill]

(For @jilytoberfest’s Prompt 16: “I can never hate you.)

“You must hate me,” she said, throwing his mother’s beloved jewellery box into the fire. The material of it frothed and swirled in the heat, melting in almost no time at all.

From the pain Lily felt, she might as well have thrown herself in with it.

“It’s for the best, Lily. We have to get going.”

After her, James threw in his childhood brooms, a few old school books, badly drawn pictures from his infant years. It was as if they were erasing the James Potter of the past 20 years out of existence also, incinerating the remnants of the memories he had made — many they had made together.

“Should we take the sheets at least?” she asked. In her hands was a faded duvet of William Morris print. She held it like one would a newborn baby, cradling it to her chest.

“I— I guess we can if you want, Lily. But there will be sheets there, I think.”

“This was probably where they were conceived,” she mumbled into the fabric, hiding her tears.

Was it so ridiculous to be so attached to an item that only might have significance? Was she really all that sensitive wanting to hold onto something tangible when everything else felt so up in the air?

“Maybe, yeah,” he whispered back softly, embracing her in a tight hug.

He would let her keep it, even though he shouldn’t.

“I’ll burn it,” she decided, tossing it in with the rest of the items.

Magical fire was so much stronger than Muggle fire, and it was gone in an instant.

“We’ll get another. Make new memories. Better memories!” James said into her ear, kissing her gently between each sentence.

Would they? They were being sent away to live in a safe house, their unborn child not even in this world yet and already a destined prisoner. New memories felt inevitable, but could they truly beat the past ones?

“Yeah, that would be nice,” she finally relented, unsure entirely what was hormones and what was reality at this point. “Still most of this is yours, James. The Potters… You’ve had this stuff for centuries?”

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Lily wondered if Petunia truly did sell all her items — “all that nonsense that gets in the way!” — as she had always threatened.

“About time we got some new stuff then, don’t you think?”

Sometimes James Potter was the only thing that kept her from crying every hour of the day.

“Still, you must hate me, James. This is my fault.”

She was the one who had forgotten to take the correct procedures. She was the one who had blabbed about the baby’s due date. She was the one who was stupid enough to think this was a good thing in the middle of a war.

“Don’t you dare! I can never hate you, Lily. Never.”

James tossed in the rest of the items, the place they once called home now well and truly bare.

It was safer this way. The Death Eaters would realise soon, stampede the house soon. It was better the pair got rid of the items than any of them get their hands on them.

Or worse.

“Quite the opposite,” James crooned into the crook of her neck. “I love you, and I love the baby. And this awful, but it is temporary. And… well, let’s treat it like a renewal, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s do that,” she just barely smiled, twisting around and offering him her hand.

He took it.

The clothes on their backs, the bags on their shoulders, the baby and each other were now all they had.

And Lily would cry from time to time, remembering those old items, remembering the significance they represented and how easily they were cut from existence. But the next eighteen months also taught her how little they mattered — how little they, she and James, even mattered — and what mattered instead was the fleeting moments they accumulated around the items, loving and fighting and accepting and just being.

Lily and James’ lives were also fleeting, their time together as a family even more so. Like brittle blossoms in a vast-acred forest, to some it was as if they were barely there at all, barely mattering to the significance of history. But among those who had seen them in their full bloom — in those moments of happiness they spent with their son, through the hope they never relented through it all — it was etched into their very world just how much they mattered, those brave fleeting soldiers of war.

And though the boy could not remember it, it was those brave fleeting soldiers that brought him to the forest again 17 years later, the love — and not the hate — they had given him blazing through his veins.

[lucianalight]

Tag Game

Rules: Tag 9 people you want to know better.

Thanks for tagging me in this post @tori-artemis !😊❤️

Three Ships: Frostiron(Loki/Tony Stark), I love their dynamic both in a platonic or romantic way - Deckerstar(Lucifer Morningstar/Chloe Decker) From Lucifer tv series - Ineffable husbands(Crowley/Aziraphale), I ship them in a qpr way.

First Ever Ship: Rhett/Scarlett from Gone with the Wind.

Last Song: Breath by Breaking Benjamin.

Last Movie: I watched Hotel Transylvania 4 which was bad. It was even worse than the third movie which is saying sth. Because while the third one was bad, it still had some good moments like the DJ battle at the end was really funny *takes a deep breath* don't start a rant on Hotel Transylvania out of everything *visibly restraint myself* Anyway, since I was disappointed I went and watched the other Hotel Transylvania movies again :D Because I really love Dracula! He always makes me laugh :)) and I needed sth light and fun to balance the heavy subjects I'd read.

Currently Reading: Cilka's Journey by Heather Morris(It's a sequel to The Tattooist of Auschwits) - The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood - The Rooting of the Ancient Tree by Bahram Beyzai(It's a research about the Indo-Iranian roots of One Thousand and One Nights and the similarities between its main story and the story of Zahhak)- I'm also beta reading the Loki Rewrite project.

Currently Watching: I'm not in the mood to start watching a new tv show. For now I'm just waiting for the next episode of Legacies(no it's not good :P :D ).

Currently Consuming: Pomegranate.

Currently Craving: Pomegranate sauce which I'm eating with my Pomegranate :D

Tagging: @marril96 @crzyprsn42 @illwynd @iamnmbr3 @rosalysaoirse @latent-thoughts @stellophia @therese-lokidottir @bookworm-addict and anyone who wants to play!

[tammyisobsessedwith]

Songs for my MCs

Thanks for the tag @i-boop-you @noahsthottie @crimswnred @banirareiko 😘

Tagging @mrsbsmooth @willkimura

This is a little weird for me, because almost everything I wrote is already a song fic or it involves an unnamed, nondescript MC lol But I wanted to do this anyway

Season 2 MC* (A Real Relationship)

*I never physically describe her as it’s second person narrative (which I so regret nowadays as it’s so freaking hard to write) but in my head her name is Emma

🎶 Lost And Found, by Katie Herzig

I know you left me standing there Out of the calm of the coldest air I don’t believe the words you said But I can’t find the words I want (…) Somebody found me here Somebody held my breath Somebody saved me from the world you left If you’re gonna cry my tears If you’re gonna hold my breath If you’re gonna save me from the sun you set Oh I am lost and found

🎶 IDGAF, by Dua Lipa

You say you’re sorry but it’s too late now So save it, get gone, shut up ‘Cause if you think I care about you now Well boy I don’t give a fuck

She’s a duality, as she’s set on leaving Rahim and all that mess behind, so she tries to give off IDGAF energy but deep down she was really hurt and is very grateful for having someone backing her in her most vulnerable moment.

Tammy (Meet Me in the Afterglow)

This is already a songfic for Taylor Swift’s Afterglow, but those lyrics are more from Will to Tammy, so I thought of this from her pov.

🎶 The Middle, by Zedd, Maren Morris & Grey

Take a seat Right over there, sat on the stairs Stay or leave The cabinets are bare and I’m unaware Of just how we got into this mess, got so aggressive I know we meant all good intentions So pull me closer Why don’t you pull me close? Why don’t you come on over? I just can’t let you go Oh baby, why don’t you just meet me in the middle? I’m losing my mind just a little So why don’t you just meet me in the middle?

🎶 1000 Times, by Sara Bareilles

I wouldn’t wanna tell you, no tell you no Nothing could be worse than the risk of Losing what I don’t have now And we could buy the minute though is it so bad If I wanna cry out That I would die to make you mine? Bleed me dry almost every time But I don’t mind, no I don’t mind, no I would come back a thousand times Make me wait forever Push me away and tell me never But I don’t mind, no I don’t mind I would come back a thousand times

As someone who falls in love with Will, Tammy (that’s me) is a little bit of a masochist and a messy drama queen masquerading as someone who has her shit together and this pair has massive communication issues that hopefully they’re working through after the big Dylan fight lol

Season 2 MC** (Secret Moments in a Crowded Room)

**Other unnamed, nondescript MC, in my head her name is Isabella - she’s about to feature in another story I’m working on 👀

Also already written as a songfic for Taylor Swift’s Dress, but this is another side to the same story.

🎶 The Heart Wants What It Wants, by Selena Gomez

You got me scattered in pieces Shining like stars and screaming Lighting me up like Venus But then you disappear and make me wait And every second’s like torture Heroin drip, no more so Finding a way to let go Baby, baby no, I can’t escape The bed’s getting cold and you’re not here The future that we hold is so unclear But I’m not alive until you call And I’ll bet all odds against it all Save your advice ‘cause I won’t hear You might be right but I don’t care There’s a million reasons why I should give you up But the heart wants what it wants

🎶 One Kiss, by Calvin Harris with Dua Lipa

Something in you Lit up heaven in me The feeling won’t let me sleep ‘Cause I’m lost in the way you move, the way you feel One kiss is all it takes Fallin’ in love with me Possibilities I look like all you need

This girl got herself into a mess with Noah without her meaning to, but now she’s gonna go for it ‘cause what else has she got to lose? Even if he’d chosen Hope at the previous recoupling, through all those moments with him and with his expressing doubt right after, so she’s using the Hearts Racing challenge to check it out once and for all. She hasn’t been afraid to go after what she wants before and she’s not gonna start now - and it’s about to pay off.

Lily (Let It Grow)

I’ve barely started writing her story (I promise I have stuff in my drafts that I’m working on!), but I feel this is the stage she’s at.

🎶 thank u, next, by Ariana Grande

One taught me love One taught me patience One taught me pain Now I’m so amazing Say I’ve loved and I’ve lost But that’s not what I see So look what I got Look what you taught me And for that I say Thank you, next

🎶 Real Friends, by Camila Cabello and Swae Lee

No, I think I’ll stay in tonight Skip the conversations and the oh-I’m-fines No, I’m no stranger to surprise This paper town has let me down too many times Why do I even try? Give me a reason why I thought that I could trust you, never mind Why all the switching sides? Where do I draw the line? I guess I’m too naive to read the signs I’m just looking for some real friends

She’s not surprised by the turn of events and even though it hurts, she wants to move on, surrounding herself with the people who actually care for her - and one of them might surprise her in lots of ways pretty soon.

Season 2 MC* (Panic at the Mansion)

*Yet another unnamed MC, this is a different version of Emma (yes, my MCs who end up with Bobby are always Emma, no it’s not ‘cause of Em @i-boop-you just a coincidence I promise lol)

🎶 Say You Won’t Let Go, by James Arthur

I wanna live with you Even when we’re ghosts ‘Cause you were always there for me When I needed you most I’m gonna love you till my lungs give out I promise till death we part Like in our vows So I wrote this song for you Now everybody knows That it’s just you and me Until we’re grey and old Just say you won’t let go

🎶 Foolish, by Meghan Trainor

This ain’t no one night stand Want yo’ picture on my nightstand Be my lover, be my best friend Put that bling bling on my left hand Saying, “what kinda love you gon’ put on me? ‘Cause your last name sounds good on me” (…) They say that fools rush in But I oh I, I wanna be foolish with you

This MC is Bobby’s best match, they’ve been a power couple from day 1 in the Villa, they’re each other’s best friend and she doesn’t care if people thought they were moving too fast because she knows this is it, she’s done.

[malicerewatchesdoctorwho]

The Dominators - Episode Two

Written by - Norman Ashby Director - Morris Barry Producer - Peter Bryant

Episode Two

("I've got to make them believe me, before it's too late!" - Cully to Zoe about saving the Dulcians before they're all either taken as slaves or killed.)

Likes

- Ooh, I like that the Dominators have a wall that can slide down and become a medical bay. That's nice. At least they have the equipment to actually pull off the looking at alien genetic makeup.

- I can't remember if he dies or not, but I sure hope not. I am loving Cully in this, just so much. Sass your way through life, my dude.

- Jamie agreeing to act stupid, when the Doctor told him to and saying that acting that way is easy. I love these two and the way they act around each other. Jamie's face after he had said it would be easy XD

- The fun of the Doctor and Jamie pretending to be Dulcians and bumbling their way around everything. But I especially liked the part with the gun. The Doctor used what little he knows of the Dulcians from this time period to use it against the Dominator. Nice.

- Zoe complaining about how the female uniform on Dulkis is impractical and doesn't feel right on her. I am just imagining what would happen if she was Polly instead. She loved playing with clothes and dressing up. Zoe prefers full body suits and practicality. Nice.

Dislikes

- Uh, maybe not mention very loudly that the Quarks need to save their power. It's like giving away your secrets to enemies who will use it against you.

- ...What kind of plan is this? "Oh yes, we nuked the site, the radiation's all gone now even though the area is still pretty much dead, let's make this shit site a holiday spot. People will love the nothingness going on of this historical event."

- Umm, the Dulcians are supposed to be an advanced race, yes? Why do they seem anything but?

- Did that Dominator at the end (I can never remember their names...) have the order to blow up and destroy the research station? I thought he was told to investigate not destroy. He's a bit more bloodthirsty than the leader.

Awesome

- Oooooh, my god, the props in this are so utterly silly and ridiculous I can't help but love them. Look at the silly as scanner glasses the Dominators use. Just...look at them.

- Look at that sideways view of the capsule. From that angle, they look like miniature rockets and nice to look at. Front view they look more like bullets with feathering on the sides. Like the Dulcians merged together arrows and bullets.

Shitty

- Don't really like the Quarks too much. They just seem....harmless, for a lack of a better word. They don't come across as intimidating. This may be a thing though about age and how I wasn't around in the 60's to watch this in real time. Maybe back then it was different? All my older whovians out there who were kids in the 60's, do you remember?

- Ooh, shadow of a boom mic got in there! Several times! Haven't seen that in a while XD

- This is likely to be on all of them, because just gyeh. Those shoulders on the Dominators. They go all around the back too. Those things must have been so horrible to wear.

In Conclusion

Not as boring as last episode, but not all that great either in places. Like that council meeting. What exactly was the point of that, except to see how annoying a bunch of people all in a room together can get while trying to talk over each other. Still, this one had a bit of fun in it, so I am happy with that.

The Doctor and Jamie shine in this, so much. Just pretending to be completely ignorant of everything. Zoe and Cully are also great to watch. Those two bounce off each other nicely. I also liked, as was up in my likes list, Zoe complaining of how impractical the clothes there are. Zoe, look, it could be worse. You could be wearing the Dominator outfit.

I also like Keel and Kando beginning to think and question things.

Much better than last episode but still on the meh side of the scale for Doctor Who episodes.

Body count - 0. No one but Zoe and Cully were in the station when it got blown up, and they were both very much alive in the last frame as the credits began to roll. Everyone else was definitely alive last we saw them.