#oh my god you can move tags now fantastic

[blackvahana]

fermented mares milk in mongolia............... im being normal...........................................................................

[fallinforerling]

mimi i can’t stop thinking about when y/n comes and visit sthe bellinghams and y/n and jobe hug for too long n jude is just so very… pouty the whole night lmfaooooo then when he drops you off at home he’s so clingy and whiny :c

- bora <3

ps. this used to be erensfavgirly just so you know 😭 you can tag me as roses-arerosies for all ur new fics <3

but you love me more, right? - jb

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist 

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

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Jude was ecstatic once he found out you were able to come with him to England. Visiting his family already had him in a fantastic mood, but now that he knew you were accompanying him, he was over the moon. He knew how well you got along with his family, so once he let everyone know on the group chat, he confirmed all the affection his family had for you with every new text popped up on the screen. 

✉️ Mum ❤: Yay! That’s such great news! 

✉️ Mum ❤: Tell her I’m making her favorite 

✉️ Hey! What about my favorite?

✉️ Jobe: Oh, please. She’s the apple of mum’s eyes, don’t act like you didn’t knew

✉️ Dad: Tell her that I bought new tea flavors for us to try

✉️ I’m starting to think I’m not the main attraction of this visit, am I?

✉️ Jobe: No way! Seriously?

✉️ Jobe: She’s also my favorite

✉️ Dad: Jobe, donʼt be hurtful towards your brother 

✉️ Mum ❤: Canʼt wait to see you both ����

✉️ Jobe: Tell her I miss her 

He couldn’t help but smile at his brother’s text. It was obvious he had a crush on you; Jude found it funny since it was a little bit cliché, the little brother having a crush on the older brother’s stunning girlfriend. Oldest joke in the books. It wasn’t a big deal anyways. 

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He didn’t consider himself a jealous person. At least, not the type of person that would go as far as considering his own brother a menace to his relationship. It was stupid to even consider it anything more than something to joke about. There wasn't a real chance of something actually happening, not only because he was his brother but also because he was younger than both of you. You considered him a little brother, for the love of God.

Nonetheless, it was hard to ignore how long the hug between you two lasted. His brother seemed to be in heaven while holding you tightly, his head basically on your neck, refusing to let you go after a couple of minutes. It was almost funny to see if it weren’t for the unnerving feeling he was getting from it. He didn’t want to sound crazy, but... Was he smelling your hair?

“It’s so great to finally see you!” You said once Jobe let you go. He looked down at you with the biggest of smiles. “And you got so tall! How did this happen?” You pinched his cheeks, treating him as you always did, with care. 

However, Jude’s brain started to overthink, and he was feeling nauseous. Why was he jealous of his own brother? He was being ridiculous, and he knew that. But some things were hard to avoid, and his jealousy was one of them. He tried to fight it as you all moved to the living room, where his mom had prepared a big tray of snacks. 

“So, did you had a good flight?” His dad asked once you were all sitting on different points of the large sofa. You nodded with a smile, receiving a tiny bowl full of your favorite snacks from Jobe, who only had eyes for you. 

“Thank you, honey!” You said to Jobe, who nodded with a slight blush on his cheeks before getting a bowl of his own. “It wasn’t as terrible as I thought. I actually really liked the food they gave us; it was a tasty chicken sandwich. Right, babe?” Your voice woke him up from his daydreaming, making him sigh with guilt for the direction that his thoughts were taking. “Are you tired?” You asked once he didn’t answer right away, rubbing his leg. 

“No, no. I was just distracted for a little bit. But yes, it was a surprisingly good sandwich. She had to talk me into eating it at first, though.” 

You smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but hold you closer to his frame, suddenly hungry for your touch. He didn’t let his mind slip to any other ridiculous thought about jealousy and his brother’s stupid crush on you. He gave his full attention to one of his dad’s stories, making sure to always have you close to him while listening. He knew you were giving him weird looks because this wasn’t his usual behavior around his family, but he didn’t care, he needed to have you next to him for a moment. 

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Okay, forget about leaving his jealousy thoughts behind. 

Jobe was stepping over an imaginary line that he didn’t know he had marked down since you all entered the kitchen. He was all over your space, but the worst thing was that you didn’t seem to mind. He hugged you by the shoulders, talking about God knows what while giving you the smile he knew very well since he was the one who taught him the smile trick. Was he openly flirting with you, or was he seeing things? Why would he do that in front of him? Why would he do that in general?

When he decided that enough was enough, and that he was going to do something about the situation, Jobe left your side. He saw how you nodded with a tiny smile at whatever he said, still sipping the cup of blueberry tea his dad gave you not too long ago. He saw it as the perfect opportunity to take you away from his brother’s hands. 

“Hello, pretty.” He said once he was near enough to whisper in your ear. You giggled, as every time he startled you, but you immediately turned around to hug him. “I missed you.” Jude returned the hug, closing his eyes once he felt your warmth around him. 

He didn’t know why, but he was feeling the need to be as close as possible to you. Why was he feeling so clingy all of the sudden? 

“Are you okay, babe? You were acting a bit weird earlier.” You said against his neck while rubbing his back distractedly. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He wanted to stop there and just enjoy the hug, but his brain had other plans. “Seems like Jobe missed you a lot.” 

“Right?” You were apparently naive about what he meant by it, since you just smiled. “He’s such a sweetheart, I love him a lot.” 

Okay? Ouch, no need to rub it on his face. 

“But you love me more, right?” He bit his lip, surprised by his own stupidity. Why would he ask something like that? What was wrong with him?

“Are you guys ready for dinner?” His mom interrupted whatever dumb thing he was about to say after what just came out of his mouth. 

“Just a minute, Denise.” You didn’t let him go, hugging his waist a little bit tighter while smiling apologetically at her. He saw the expression on your face, and he knew you noticed what was wrong. 

“That’s alright, I’ll hold your plates for a minute, come when you’re ready.” His mother said, finally leaving you alone. It appears like you weren’t the only one who noticed something strange going on. 

“Baby, are you jealous of Jobe?” You asked it in a serious manner, but your eyes were filled with such amusement that he felt like a little kid that just said something very stupid but very funny as well. 

“No…” You knew him very well, so there was no point in lying, but he did it anyway because admitting something so ridiculous was very embarrassing. 

“You’re so adorable.” You laughed after a moment, taking his face in your hands. “Don’t be silly; why would you be jealous of him? He’s like a little brother to me.” 

“I dunno.” He simply answered, knowing he was being irrational. “He has a crush on you…” 

“He’s your brother, Jude.” You giggled again, kissing his lips shortly. “That’s why you’ve been hugging me all night long?”

“Mmmh.” He felt mortified, so he went for the safest option and hugged you again, trying to avoid your face. You were having too much fun with this new information. “Don’t tell anyone.” 

“Of course I won’t.” You whispered back, silently laughing at his antics. He could actually feel how hard you were trying to hold your laugh. “I really love you a lot, silly jealousy included and everything.” 

“But more than you love Jobe, right?” He asked with hope, still refusing to retrieve his head from your neck. 

“Yes, Jude. More than Jobe.” You laughed loudly, not being able to keep it down anymore. 

“What’s up with me?” Jobe said, entering the kitchen, clueless about the subject of your chat. 

“Nothing!” He quickly said, not letting you give away anything that happened seconds ago. If it was bad that you already knew about the jealousy thing, it would be hell if his brother found out. “Dinner’s ready.” 

“Okay? Well, let’s go eat it then? Stop asphyxiating her with your love, she’s got enough of that already.” He knew Jobe was just messing with him, but he had to bite his tongue and resist the urge to say something along the lines of “Well, she’s my girlfriend, not yours!” but that would be too childish, even for him. 

So he just stayed silent and followed his brother into the living room, still giving him annoyed looks that were received with pure confusion. You just rolled your eyes and whispered to him to keep it down. 

Needless to say, even though he acted normally, refusing to let his childish side win, he still felt like he needed to create some space between you and Jobe. He insisted on sitting between both of you, keeping a hand on your tight at all moments, which resulted on you casually laughing or giving him loving looks that just made sense to him, the rest of the family weirdly looking at each other. He made up an excuse after an hour or so, saying you two were so tired from the flight and you needed to head to the hotel, but in reality, he just wanted to cuddle with you and have you all to himself for the rest of the night. You just let him be, still messing around while giving him head scratches to help him fall asleep. 

He guessed that jealousy just turned him into a clingy mess, but you seemed very okay with it, so what was the matter? 

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚*ੈ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *  JUDE'S TAGLIST

@mentalbaddie | @taintedstranger | @mrs-dasilvasantoss | @mbapbaesluvr | @roses-arerosies | @cinderellawithashoe | @yoitsmo07 | @seajjin | @kakuchosbff | @peterparkerbae | @alwaysclassyeagle | @itsjuspenny-blog | @lbsmainblog | @youngjayla | @freetimemachinequeen | @chaeryeongstuff | @lazyreadergirl | @trentismine | @ironmaiden1313 | @wavessmile | @jul1ettt | @daydream-er | @citrusjunosart | @pierre-gasssllyy | @avianawrites | @topguncultleader | @blahhhhhbleeplop | @ricsaigasalec

[tryan-a-bex]

100 fics

Today I posted my 100th fic on Ao3!

My first was Pottery; or Function, Purpose and Heart on Mar 11, 2023. It was a retired Dreamling fic with Destruction (who I call Joe) as the main character.

I moved fairly quickly into my Spy x Family crossover series. Anya is so cute, and throwing her in with Dreamling and the Endless family led to a lot of fun shenanigans! (Generally you don't need to know Spy x Family canon to follow these.)

Next I started on my Sandman x Scooby Doo shenanigans! I really like the Scooby Gang, and there are definitely some mysteries to solve surrounding the Endless! (With awesome art by @sab-draws!)

Gaulcienne caught my eye next. Lucienne, my beloved librarian, and the shape-changing dream-fairy? Oh yes! A Quiet Love with Wings has most of my commissioned art, with pieces by @athymelyreply for Sometimes when You Fall, You Fly, @ibrithir-was-here for Fireflies and a Missing Person, and @designtheendless for The Dragon Rider!

King of Night and Prince of Day, for @nathanwonderwolf's wonderful art, has the second highest kudos of all my fics.

Then I invented an OC who is the preteen personification of the consciousness of humanity, aka Social Media. I thought this was pure crack but people liked it and now it's a series! Dinner and Play was created with @carnelianmeluha's food ideas in mind!

My Dreamling works tend to be short and sweet, often prompted by something on tumblr or discord, and are collected as Dreamling vignettes.

I have recently written (but not yet posted) my first honest to god smut, but early dabbles in the craft were mostly crack, like my Helm Fucking Crack series. I'm unreasonably proud of how cracked it is, and thank everyone who enabled me (notably @sleepsonfutons, @windsweptinred, @tickldpnk8, @zzoomacroom, read their fics!).

My obsession with Fuckboi Dream (mind the tags) is ongoing, and included creating a chapter index with notes so I can find things, a series about Murphy's childhood (somebody please read these, they are so cute), and others, fanart as well!

In The Dragon's Tongue, Lucienne takes on Titania! I commissioned @lostelfwriting to write the bdsm continuation of the scene, and she did a fantastic job!

A Reunion in the Dreaming (picnic recreated here) was the first fic in Walking with the Walkers, my series about Rose, Jed and Unity. It features Rose and Ara (Barbie transformed in Life is but a Dream), Rose and Jed meeting their Endless family members, Jed and Gault having adventures, and Unity throwing family parties in the Dreaming (with art by @ilya-halfelven).

Trials of a Shapeshifter in Love (in which Gault tries to surprise Lucienne with a romantic dinner) was my favourite fic from October 2023 -- Femslash weekend (by @sandmanfemslashfans ) and Monsterfucktober (by @seiya-starsniper and friends) made it a really fun month! I also wrote Chantal and Zelda, Johanna and Death, and zombie Lyta (my most angsty fic, I believe).

Just Get Me Off the Damn Mountain was written for designtheendless' contest and omg, I won! It is my most popular fic, at 185 kudos!

I also wrote an OG story for NaNoWriMo! At 23k, Wander Witch is by far my longest story (the next longest is under 9k).

After a bit of being stuck, I got started again by writing continuations of @gabessquishytum's asks! Thank you to Gabe and to all the anons and contributors who allowed me to post their parts of the story!

Asmi, @weirdly-specific-but-ok, argued that he does not have a fandom, so (with permission) I proved him wrong by writing fanfic where he meets Crowley and the Maggot Fam. I love you, Asmi and the maggots!

Heading on an Adventure, the story of Rose and Orpheus' road trip, led to a series of library adventures for Lucienne (often featuring Meowpheus), starting with The Library Cat and continuing in the Lucienne my Beloved series.

I wanted more Lucienne and Walkers content, so I started a side blog, @lucienne-my-beloved, and am open to prompts there! On ao3, the series is called ficlets for lucienne.

Hob Meets the Doctor June 7, 2389 and The line I will not cross and the line I will (Gaulcienne) are my space fics, and I am unreasonably happy about them!

I'm now writing for @augustwritingchallenge! (They got me over 100 in my wips a week or two ago!) I combined prompts so you'll see a fic every 2-5 days in various series and fandoms, including Good Omens (Aug 30) and Dead Boy Detectives (soon).

And my 100th fic! Why are you whispering? a Jed and Rose fic for the late night call prompts. Woohoo!

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported my fandom journey! I'm the least depressed one in my long covid cohort, due to your support and friendship! I cherish every kudo and comment and bookmark and reblog, and the art and fics you all create as well!

[popcornforone]

Dreamy

A Mr Fantastic / Reed Richards Fan Fic

Day 1 of Pedrotober

Masterlist

Day 1 let’s go, this is gonna be a lot of fun I can feel it in my jellies. Time for Reed to take centre stage. We haven’t had many non pixelated Fantastic 4 pictures yet, but I thought the blue above was the best match to the original suits.

Synopsis:- Reed hears cry’s for help & leaps into action.

Word count:- 700

Warnings above what it says in the original master list:- kissing, false cry’s for help, super hero stuff.

Remember these are mainly all short fics peoples. Thanks for the read I hope you all enjoy & I will see you all tomorrow.

As always tags for @alyssamariag @norththelemon for giving us this list.

Mr fantastic hears the screams as he was leaving the grocery store.

“Help help” echoed above him.

He always had his suit on underneath his coat just incase he was needed to spring into action. A reluctant hero who would much rather be known for his science, but now with his new found fame he knew he could try & get his research out there for the world to see. Being a superhero was a blessed curse.

He listened through the noise of the city to hear where your screams of help were coming from & he quickly outstretched his arms, grabbing onto balcony’s to come to your cries of help. Luckily for him it was in the same block. Minimal effort.

“Help me oh god please someone help me”

“I’m on my way” you hear back assuming it’s just in your head this half hearted response.

“I don’t know what to do”

“Stay calm” he says as he finally pushes himself over the top floor & onto your balcony & fully slides open the door. You look startled. What’s mr Fantastic doing in your apartment? You quickly step back, in a state of shock, knowing a baseball bat is in the cupboard behind you.

“Ahhhh Mr Fantastic!” It’s comes out high pitched. You can tell he’s assessing the situation in front of him. Your apartment shows no sign of a struggle or anyone in pain. You move to the side a little as he inspected the room, still in easy reach of the bat in the cupboard. “What are you doing here?”

“I heard cries for help, so I left my groceries downstairs & flung up the building. It was clearly your voice” He says looking you up & down, to check you didn’t have bruises from a potential fit that you might have just gotten over & had no memory about. He smirks at the fact your skirt stops mid thigh.

“Oooooh im sorry” you say, he looks confused. “I’m rehearsing lines for a play I am in, it’s the opening scene where I discover my best friends body” he drops his shoulders & sighs.

“Seriously?”

“Yea seriously” he tuts. “We preview next week so I thought I’d get some more lines perfected”

“Well clearly you’re very convincing as this calls for help made me climb up here to save you” he says.

“Well I’m sorry I wasted your time, but it’s good to know there’s a super hero near by should I ever need one”

He nods & goes to take his leave, noticing the script & a few props on the table, but you then stop him.

“Mr fantastic, as I was someone in distress, you did technically come up here to rescue me… does that mean I get a kiss from the hero?”

He chuckles.

“We’re not all stereotypes” he says but he knows you’ve clocked him looking you up & down.

“Even if it’s just a peck,”but suddenly his hands wrap around your arms. Mr fantastic with his stretchy talents & he pulls you into him & does a Hollywood kiss on you, the one you always see in classic movies. Your foot pops & everything as his tongue invades your mouth. Your cheeks turning redder. Your own hand moving into his hair which fees so soft. Often grey hair feels slightly different to usual hair due to the lack of pigment but this just felt so good.

He spins you back so you are on both your feet & smirks.

“I hope the play goes well” & with that he takes 5 large extended strides back & leaps over the top of your balcony & lowers himself back towards the floor below, his shopping will still be waiting for him. You look down & sigh like your a long lost love who will never see him again.

“Ooooh he was so dreamy” you coo.

[hplonesomeart]

Oh my God, I just saw it now. You made my day today🩵✨💦💋

Thank you very much for your kind words!)

They are very encouraging and motivating to move on🩵✨🩵✨🩵✨🩵

WAAAAAA sorry my bad for the late reply to this sweet message—I took a small break from Tumblr but!! Yay what a wonderful surprise to return to! I’m very glad to have brought you some happiness from my long ass ramblings in the tags lol!! I felt like it was my duty to admire the hard work that went into making your illustration, and I still think more people should see it! You’ve put a lot of well thought out elements in there that deserve recognition after all. Thanks for taking the time to read my words, and once again I’m glad it helped encourage! <3

And especially thank you for taking time to look at my own blog! You really didn’t need too but I’m appreciative of all the support you’ve returned. Seeing the notifications and occasional comments you’ve left on my artworks has brightened my day as well. I enjoy when artists can collectively help uplift each other using positive affirmations. I hope you have a fantastic weekend ahead!! :D

[the-ultimate-pie-family]

Vanity encounter with the pies part 2

~we left off where blood was at new realm~

Vanity, why don't you practice your god magic because I don't have another god to practice with? Well, you do now prepare yourself. "Vanity decked blood." Oh, what is your jaw made of? Bones, duh. "Blood spitted out a couple of his teeth," really vanity. I just got my teeth healed up. awww is the little god crying, hahaha? "Vanity laughed, then felt a sharp pain in her chest." w-what..... rule one never lose focus oooo I feel a spine "Vanity screamed in pain, pulsing blood away as Vanity healed herself" healing works wonders huh my lady? "Blood vanished behind her, but Vanity was quick as she swong she tripped blood with her tail curb stomping blood to the ground." Had enough, never im just getting started, Vanity."Blood and Vanity fought for hours nonstop till they couldn't move or get up" had......enough blood?....... never "Vanity and blood got up beraly standing" ugh...... "Vanity groaned in pain," bring it blood "as they both swong, they both passed out"

~a few hours went by Vanity woken up from kids playing~

Where am I? "Vanity looked around room.huh?My office blood did a number on you, but you healed fantastically. Where's blood at getting his 20 kids ready for school he'll be in soon it's fine. I'll find him. "Vanity opened the door surprisingly, seeing blood in front of the door. Oh, hi? Is that all you gonna say, my lady? "Vanity blushed a little punching blood shoulder playfully fuck off blood. So, round two, I see then, hahah. I'll show you a round two punk and then bring it on sugar, but my kids come first they go to school, then round two deal? Deal. Ok, kids' school now, "blood winked at Vanity as he walked downstairs." See you for round two, Vanity, hahaha. "Vanity chuckled, cracking her claws. " I'll be waiting

Mod pie: my apologies blood is a odd one he fucks with anyone who can handle is love even though it's odd love blood loves everything but he doesn't know how to show the right love so he fucks with anyone who can handle it

Tag: for @vanitythevantropist

[roseofblogging]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard liveblog

Hello! I often post Splatoon stuff here or reblog Tales RPG stuff, but I'm currently sucked into Dragon Age: The Veilguard and want to dump my thoughts on my game somewhere that I can look back on later.

If you want to avoid these either because of spoilers or because you just do not want to see it, I'll be using the tags: rose plays veilguard and dragon age: the veilguard spoilers, and you can blacklist those.

With that said, here we go!

The background for my Rook: She's a mage originally from a Dalish clan that greatly worships Elgar'nan, the father of the elven pantheon, god of vengeance, justice, retribution, and the sun. She grew up eagerly taking the vallislin and vowed to help the helpless, invoking Elgar'nan's name when doing so. (All the while, I, giggle at the sheer irony of how she'd hate the Evanuris--whom she currently worships--for them having been slavers.)

After she moved away to see more of the world, she found herself loving both the glitz and the grime of Minrathous in the Tevinter Empirium: the street markets were nothing like she'd ever encountered at home, and she became enamored.

Then she learned about the much darker side of Tevinter, and the fact that slavery was still legal there infuriated her. That's when she joined the Shadow Dragons and eventually made a name for herself freeing a bunch of slaves, going against the Shadow Dragons' plan to go slower and avoid attention. She doesn't regret freeing people, but she recognizes her actions had consequences for the Shadow Dragons and probably endangered a lot of people after she was forced to flee the city.

She's looked up to Varric ever since he found her and asked her to help them track down Solas. She's not fond of essentially being the leader in his place now, and she goes to him for advice a lot. He always manages to cheer her up no matter how much she beats herself up.

We're still early in the game's story, and while Solas didn't outright say at the start that the elven gods enslaved people, she got the sense the stories she'd grown up learning weren't entirely true. Now that she's lived through a couple of Solas's memories of fighting back against Elgar'nan, she has very mixed feelings about her prior hero-worship of the Evanuris father (she still does not know the truth about vallislin's origins). Time will tell how she'll feel eventually having to face Elgar'nan himself, now that he's escaped Solas's imprisonment.

She finds Solas pretty irritating and full of himself, but her conversations with him in the Fade have made her see him for more of who he is: a very old man who wanted to save people but is ultimately fallible and prone to mistakes like anyone, including severe lapses in judgment and an inability to listen to people he views as far younger, far more inexperienced, and deluded by a millennium of lies passed down as culture. For which he's right! That irritates her even more.

Where we're at now: Varric is injured and out of battle for what seems to be a long time. Harding has become a sweet friend, and Rook is looking forward to learning more about this strange stone magic she acquired from Solas's ancient dagger.

Neve, oh my gosh *swoon* aaaa. Kinda crushing hardcore. Excited about working with another person from the Shadow Dragons, especially someone with such fantastic inductive reasoning skills. We're aligned on some major core values. Both fiercely love Minrathous.

Bellara is incredibly sweet! Crushing--not sure if romantic or platonic, but definitely wanna learn more about her. The way she rambles is adorable. She's a fantastic tinkerer, brilliant, and full of life with a sense of adventure. Her enthusiasm is infectious!

Lucanis...yet another *swoon* He's only just joined, so Rook doesn't know much about him yet, and having a contract killer with a demon living in his head is concerning, but she's trying not to be judgmental about it. After her first one-on-one with him, she's feeling like he has a really good handle on that situation, though she feels awful for him and how he's constantly sleep-deprived because of that situation. She plans to sit down with him for coffee on the regular. (My own thoughts from being able to see the interactions with Spite: OH MY GOSH LOL he's hot) Plus, he takes his work seriously, and it's not like he wants ancient elves unleashing the worst Blight upon the world, worse than any of us can imagine. So, she can work with him, and she's got a good vibe about him at the moment. It's not like she hasn't killed people before.

[a-lucha-brother]

Oh boy, oh boy, let's talk about AEW showing that All In footage. Daddy's gotta eat!

So firstly, I think the reactions online to this have been quite frankly, and to absolutely nobodies surprise, fucking ridiculous and infested with braindead morons (welcome to wrestling in 2024)

And again, to absolutely nobodies surprise, people have completely missed the point (and how cleverly AEW took advantage of the situation to further its ongoing storylines to produce a brilliant penultimate episode of Dynamite) of why it was even done in the first place.

Because for some bizarre reason, people seem to think CM Punk is beyond criticism and revere him to be some all-knowing all-powerful demi-god of infinite credibility and power, which I personally have never bought into (I've been watching wrestling since 1994 so I've been here before, during and after Punks peak) and quite frankly as far as Punk is concerned, never seen the appeal.

For me, I've always seen this as AEW taking an obvious opportunity being presented before them to fit in what I've been assuming for a long time now, a storylined reason/way to open the door for Jack Perry to come back to AEW as not only a MASSIVE heel, but to join The Elite and become THE heel of AEW (I can fantasy book so much shit from this you need only ask).

My case and point of evidence: the fact they specifically make mention of Jack Perry and his current Scapegoat gimmick on MULTIPLE occasions. He's essentially the focal point on the entire spot. CM Punks face isn't even shown, nor is his name mentioned. AEW needed as mentioned before, a really good throughline for Jack to make a return (interfere at Dynasty to help Nicholas and Matthew win?), to create a nuclear build for the tag match at Dynasty between the Bucks and FTR, to create massive babyface momentum for FTR (again, a perfect opportunity since they're friends with Phil).

And think about it, with the promo FTR cut in the ring after, with the Kaz/Pac/FTR/Bucks clash later in the show and all round how the entire production moves around the moment - EVERYONE was in on this and EVERYONE was in tandem and in agreement with how to proceed with using this.

People want to keep pointing out Tony Schiavones reaction immediately after it. Yes, he's gonna be uncomfortable even if he's in on it all, it was a very uncomfortable situation to relive, but how everyone just moves on from it (exactly like what the whole point of FTRs promo was), he's totally fine and chill about it all.

I thought this entire segment and situation was pretty fucking ingenious and did an absolutely fantastic job of create a rocket-fueled build to the Bucks/FTR tag match at Dynasty.

If you have any issues with this, then sorry to say, bud, that's a YOU problem and you may need to grow up a bit, cause everyone else is totally fine with this and using it to make good business with and are all in total consent with each other about it (I'd even go as far as to say that even Punk is in on this too).

So with that, I'm spent, and I'll bid you adieu.

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 32 - EPISTOLARY

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: ralsbecket

ralsbecket's epistolary fics are works of art, every single one. I love that they play with so many different mediums and workskins – texts, e-mails, letters, newspaper articles, the list goes on. It's super entertaining and engaging, and on top of that, their characterizations and dialogue is also fantastic.

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

Michael's and Misunderstandings

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 1,569 Tags: After College AU, Insecure Tony, Artist Steve

Summary: Tony couldn’t fight the little demon of jealousy that told him Steve was ashamed to acquaint him with his other friends. He was always hearing about a Michael and a Joann and a Blick (he’d made fun of the name before, but after meeting Bucky, he wasn’t one to judge). Or, the one where Tony thinks Steve is cheating on him with craft stores.

Reasons why I love it: This fic is so goddamn funny, it makes me laugh every single time. Poor Tony, I'm sure he's never going to live this down. Oh well, I bet it'll make for a good story at their wedding someday. I love this one, and you should definitely read it, if you haven't already!

Blame It on My Star Sign (The Blue Heart Remix)

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 6,457 Tags: Sick Steve, Superfamily, Doombots

Summary: Fending off Doombots whenever Victor von Dickhead felt the need to throw a wrench in their plans was never exactly his definition of a perfect date with Steve.

Reasons why I love it: I love everything about this fic – the angst, the hurt/comfort, Peter being the sweetest little boy, Tony struggling with autocorrect – it's all fantastic. Seriously, if you haven't read this one, you absolutely should. It's wonderful!

Focus on Me

Pairing: Steve/fem!Tony Rating: T Words: 186 Tags: Earth 3490, Flirting, Dress Up

Summary: Married life suits Steve and Toni.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, all the married couple vibes, I can't. This feels like it was plucked straight out of their actual phones, it's giving me all of those stable relationship feels. I love the embedded art too, Tasha's outfits are fire! Definitely check this one out, it's wonderful!

Hiding in Your Eyes, Hanging on Your Tongue

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 774 Tags: Established Relationship, Newspapers, Marriage

Summary: After becoming the President, more eyes than ever before were watching Steve's every move. Tony doesn't mind too much.

Reasons why I love it: I fricking love the story formatting here. It suits the plot so well, what with the outside looking in on Steve's private life now that he's president. And that last article puts the biggest smile on my face every time I read it. You should absolutely read this one, I bet you'll love it just as much as I do!

signed, sealed, delivered, i'm yours

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 1,500 Tags: Getting Together, Letters, Marvel Noir

Summary: Famed adventurer Tony Stark recieves a fan letter from Steve Rogers who lives vicariously through his stories in Marvels: A Magazine of Men's Adventure.

Reasons why I love it: Awww, Steve being Tony's fanboy is just about the sweetest thing I've ever read! His letters are adorable! And Tony's last letter to Jarvis just makes my heart melt. I love this fic so much, ralsbecket and starksnack did such a great job with it. I really hope you give it a shot so you can experience it for yourself!

[drchenquill]

Writing share tag~

Thank you @topazadine for the tag!

I've realized that I've been sharing some rather sad snippets of "Him and Me - Bound by Fate", so here a happier one.

~~~

I hear the squeaking of the wardrobe and the moving of clothes. But my gaze never wanders away from my sketch until I hear footsteps approaching.

“What are you drawing?” he asks curiously. I point out into the street, to the beautiful blue sky and the sun, which is slowly bringing the world back to life with its radiance.

“May I see?”

My heart pounds loudly as these unexpected words come out of his mouth. He wants to see my pictures?

Has he forgotten the last time he showed someone his pictures?

That's right. Grandma didn't like them and tore them all up. She flushed them down the toilet.

He leans against the wall and looks at me in silence. He's dressed in a black hoody and dark ripped jeans. “May I?” he asks again, softer this time. I press the drawing against my chest. I'm afraid to show him, but, maybe, maybe, he wouldn't react negatively. Maybe he would like it. Oh God, and what if he doesn't?

“It's just sketches. Not a real drawing.” I explain in a shaky voice, without looking at him. If I looked up, he would see the pathetic hope in my eyes. The hope of perhaps being accepted after all.

“Sketches are the skeleton of a drawing. I don't mind seeing it. Of course I won't force you to,” he says with tenderness, as if he means every word.

Don't you dare.

But I want to dare.

With trembling fingers, I hand him the sketch. He takes it with a small “thank you”. I feel the knot in my stomach. My hand cramps and the urge to rip the notebook out of his hand again grows stronger and stronger, but I hold back. The worst thing that could happen is that he tears it. I would be used to that. But the silence becomes suffocating.

I hold out my hand when he suddenly says, “That's beautiful.”

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

“Really?” why do I sound so fucking pathetic? “Are you kidding me? I don't know anything about art, but…” He keeps flipping pages. I can really see his eyes widen slightly as he looks at my other drawing. “These are fantastic, Leon.”

A shaky laugh escapes my lips. “Really?” I ask again. Kilian nods. “Really. No wonder you became an art teacher, you were born for it.”

Oh God, I think I'm going to cry.

“Wait, wait. I-I have drawings that are finished, too. Wait!” I trip over my own feet as I rush to the boxes I haven't even unpacked yet. I kneel to the floor and start rummaging while Kilian sits down next to me. My hands shake as I pull out old pictures and carefully spread them out on the floor.

He's acting like a child.

Because I was never allowed to be one.

“Holy shit.” Kilian says with a light laugh as he picks up a one of them. It's a drawing of the view from the window of my old apartment before I moved in with Kilian. I lean towards him and start explaining energetically.

“I drew this on the first morning in my new, now old, apartment. It was early in the morning, as you can see from the colors. I was so excited and shaky that I drew the sunrise to calm myself down.” I don't even look at his reaction and continue to rummage. Like a child, I present him with every single one of my drawings.

~~~

Tagging with no pressure @theink-stainedfolk , @finickyfelix , @frostedlemonwriter , @katenewmanwrites and open tag~

[yayforocs]

Ohhhhhhhhhh My God okokok i'm going to be unpacking a lot here and i'm. oh my goodness i'm so excited there's stuff here i FORGOT about!!!!!! never posted anywhere would have been lost forever if i hadn't saved it on this flash drive!!!!!

OLD UNPOSTED ART LET'S GO (pt 1) (yes i'm doing multiple parts bc u can only post 30 images per post)

ohhhhhh man oh man ok i'm looking through and checking on like Each And Every One Of These to make sure they're not actually posted anywhere and m a n

ALRIGHT, cranking the clock alllll the way back to the start of my main blog, july 2012!!!

God ok this is fanart for a slamacow video, it's the like one music video he made :VVV good ol Cube Land!!

shadow of israphel!!!!!! what a series, my brother and i still quote a few lines from it. i actually did draw quite a lot more SoI fanart that never got posted, i'll have to go digging around and see if i can find it.... BUT atl now i know like!! timestamp for when i drew all that!!!

moving on to august 2012!

herobrine in a cloak ig

dklsfjsd did i not feel like drawing regular clothes or.

september 2012!!

genuinely i don't remember if i traced this over my laptop screen or if i just copied it down bc i was pretty good at just like lookin at stuff and replicating it, but it's erza from fairy tail!

october 2012 :V

i opened up a requests thread on the craftedmovie forums, and lookin back it looks like i only ever posted one of them, wack

so here's the rest!

we've got a gamzee makara! we've got 'a brown haired girl (brown eyes may have also been specified? i don't quite remember but i'm p sure brown haired girl was) standing next to fluttershy'! who i actually, since no other specifics on the girl were given, drew to be the protag from the animation Crayon Dragon! and then the third one is the requester, trixomaniac, sitting on a rainbow :VV

november 2012!

we've got more requests!

first one was i don't remember if it was just 'chicken man' or actually the requester's (gafloff was the name) skin but the request was for the person to be holding a butter sword standing over a zombie piglin or something along those lines :V i had no context of skydoesminecraft so i remember being very confused like. why a sword made out of butter XD

and then the second is shadowflare86, holding a gun pointing at the viewer :V whiCH! i had no idea how to draw so i did my best to imitate a pose from this wonderful animation called Serenade to Miette

...looking at this now tho i think it just looks like it could be a fantastic reaction image klshdg

speaking of

i also. did this? i don't remember any context for it tho, i think it may have been another one of the requests?

on to the next folder! here we skip december, then looks like i've posted everything in january, then there's no february folder, so on to march 2013!

starting out strong with this one lskdfjs

so i did actually post like the big middle drawing there, but it was posted before i colored, and also before i drew the other stuff on the page, but yes cue the homestuck art >:J starting with some runawaystuck fanart (and actually i know i added in a little jade and karkat to that page at some point, not sure if i scanned it again later after i added them or not)

copied the talksprites for funsies :V rip jade ig

ohohohoho i don't even remember what the context for this one was but i do definitely remember that i had fun with it X)

OH RIGHT THIS ONE YES IT'S NOT HOMESTUCK BUT!!

FAIRY QUEEN LADY!! THE ORIGINAL DRAWING OF HER!! she was based on a Really Funky Graph i made one time messing around with inputs:

i had a sliding phone so that's unfortunately as good a picture as it's gonna get bc i don't think i can recreate it 😅

april 2012!

cleverbot doodles! kldsfjs i found the post i'd made of the colored drawing i did, and saw in the tags that i'd said ''#website characters #yeah i think there's a name for it but idk what it is'' gijinka friend. the word you are looking for is gijinka

and i had a lot of fun with this gijinka :V

GOD SS PAINT!!!! i think i never posted this bc i was worried it looked too much like he was choking her skdlfj

-oh wow this is. this picture is a lot smaller than i thought it was. slkdfj. anyway another that i can't remember if it's a trace or a replication but it's a yellow from the pokespe manga! please go read it if u haven't it's so so so good

skip to july 2013!

i'm like 90% certain this is a replication. but there's still a 10% of uncertainty. regardless, it's de nam from final fantasy crystal chronicles!

next up is august 2013 :V

ib time ib time

i doodled an au where garry was also a kid :V i think we (mogi and i) also joked around about like. a teenager au? they're both teens? i don't think any doodles came of it tho

october 2013, featuring doodles i know i drew in july bc i remember drawing them sldkfjds oh well

these are a bunch of random ocs i came up with as like. a. ok it's not like a homestuck au bc it doesn't involve any of the comic characters in any way but this was a group of ocs i came up with that played through their own version of sburb and. everyone died but one person. i never came up with names or anything for any of them, it's literally like just what is there visible on the paper is all i had for them 😅 i'm p sure i redrew these guys a few years later, but i don't think i ever scanned it.

-ah i cannot upload any more, let me. multi-part this.

[bteezxyewriter12]

I Swear I had a Plan with Those series

Surprise/ 1

Pairing- Jin x Named Reader

Word count- 4.5k

Includes- Highly unedited early story- remember it's unfinished and one of my first stories, oral, pussy eating, blow job, cum eating, wall sex, riding, missionary, sex from behind, multiple orgasms (Kinda unrealistic but oh well), sweet Jin, medical emergency situations that I embellished and had no clue if it's real or not lol, blood, angst, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @tinyidle

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Series Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist 📝Jin Masterlist

Jin POV

My door to my room slams open as I push Joanne in

Her lips are attached to mine and she goes in willingly.

She starts unbuttoning my shirt as I kick the door closed

I'm so horny and drunk

My erection is pushing against my pants and I need relief

I need to be in her

I pull her skirt down and she steps out of it

Fuck she has no panties on

She gets my shirt off and I push her against the wall.

She's wearing this delicate lace see through crop tank top

I grab the top of the shirt in the middle and rip it down the center

It tears easily in my hand

"Fuck Jin", she moans

"I'll buy you another one and a new bra too", I say as I pull the bra and hear the satisfying snap of the clasps breaking

Her hands undo my belt and she finally gets my pants and boxers down

I pick her up and hold her against the wall

I'm right there by her pussy but still I ask, "Are you sure?"

We're both so drunk but I still want to make sure she wants it.

"Yes Jin, fuck me now", she cries

God she's so hot

I thrust up into her soaking wet pussy and I yell out from the instant pleasure.

"Fuck yes, Jin. More"

I start moving and her moans drive me to go harder and faster

She's so tight, it feels fantastic

I've never had sex with her before and so far it's one of the best I've had

"Jin! Jin!", she screams

I feel her pussy clench my cock as she cums

God, she's fucking beautiful when she orgasms

I groan at the surprising feeling of how good it is

It's because she's so tight that it feels like this

I move her from the wall and throw her on my bed

She lands on her back and immediately spreads her legs open for me

She's fucking amazing

I move closer to her but instead of driving my cock in her, I attach my tongue to her pussy

"Fuck"

I gasp and moan from her taste

She's so good

The best I've ever tasted

I swirl my tongue around and lick her everywhere.

Her hips thrust up into my face, while she screams

I love it

No girl has ever been so into me eating her out

I move my tongue to her clit and play with her

He hand goes in my hair and pulls, while she cries out, "Fuck Jin. Your tongue...iii....is amazing"

I moan from the hair pulling and her words

When I suck on her clit, she yells, "Jin! I'm g...gonna cum"

Good, I want that

I suck harder and she cums

I move my tongue around her pussy tasting her cum

Fuck, she tastes amazing

"Jo, princess, you taste fucking incredible", I groan

She moans and asks, "Don't stop Jin, don't stop"

She's begging me for more and of course I'll give her more.

But I want to tease her a little

"Don't stop?", I question, licking her more

"No"

"Why Jo?"

"Because I want your tongue on me. I love you licking me. I want to fuck your face and cum in your mouth", she cries, completely lost to the pleasure

Fuck she's saying everything I want her to and getting me so much more horny

"If I tongue fuck you, will you cum? I love how you taste and I want more"

"Yes Jin. You can have whatever you want. Just don't stop"

"Ok", I say then rapidly move my tongue on her pussy

Her hips thrust up, pushing her pussy more in my mouth

Fuck, I love it

I didn't think I'd love it as much as I do

I've never enjoyed eating a girl out this much before

Just the feel of her pussy on my tongue, drives me crazy

"Ahhh Jin oh my god, Seokjin!"

Fuck, hearing her scream my full name is such a turn on

I slip my tongue inside her pussy and she screams loudly, tightening on my tongue like she did on my cock

I moan and she orgasms, her cum covering my tongue, tasting so fucking good

After her orgasm, she sits up and pushes me on my back

She climbs on top of me and slams her pussy on my cock

The feel of me pushing through her, makes me cry out

She starts moving up and down rapidly, fucking me hard

I watch in awe at her perfect body riding me

Her breasts are bouncing, sweat slicking her body, hands holding her hair back and mouth biting her lip as she looks right at me

I didn't know how incredibly sexy she is

Or how good she is at sex

The way she moves and how pleasurable she's making everything feel blows my mind

"Touch me Jin", she whispers

My hands move on their own one on her hip and the other on her waist

Her skin is so soft and smooth

And hot and sweaty

"You like it Jinnie?", she teases

I nod my head quickly

Is she kidding?

I love it

"I want you to cum baby"

God I love hearing her call me baby

It makes me happy

"Not yet Jo. I want you to cum again. I love feeling you when you do. I love watching you"

"Or really?", she smirks

"Yeah", I smirk back and continue,

"Watching you shake, hearing you scream my name, feeling you tighten on my cock drives me crazy and turns me on so much. You're fucking beautiful when you cum"

Her eyes cloud over with lust and want as she continues to move

She wants to cum

"You want it Jo?"

She bites her lip and nods

"Then cum princess. I feel you want it."

She nods and moans

"C'mon Jo. I want you to cum on my cock so badly. Please, do it for me" I beg

As soon as I stop speaking, her body shakes as she explodes on me, screaming my name

And it feels phenomenal

I feel myself getting closer but I still don't want to yet

I don't know what's gotten into me, but I just want to make her cum as much as I can.

So while she's orgasming, I grab her hips, and slam her up and down on me

"SEOKJIN, God, SEOKJIN!"

"Again baby. Cum again", I shout

I slam her down a few more times and she screams, coming again

God I can't get enough of feeling her, of watching her, of hearing her.

I want more

So much more

I thrust up into her while I bring her down

I go in even deeper this way and I hit a spot inside that causes her to scream loudly

Holy shit I found it

That thought drives me to slam that spot again and again

"Yes Jin", she cries

"There my princess? You want it there?", I tease

"Yes. Fuck don't stop"

"I won't baby girl"

I thrust into her spot a few more times before she grabs onto my arms tightly and cums hard, screaming the loudest she has so far

"SEOKJIN! SEOKJIN!"

I kept going and within a few seconds she cums again

Oh man, I've never had a girl cum twice in a row

I want to see if I can get her to do it again

I keep going and it works

She cums a third time a few seconds later

"Jin! Jinnie, I can't"

"Yes you can."

"Jin" she cries

"C'mon Jo. I want you to feel amazing. You can do it"

I slam up hard and she explodes again

"See baby girl I told you", I moan

"Jin!"

"One more. For me baby. I want it"

She nods

"I want you to scream as loud as you can Jo. I wanna hear how good I make you feel"

I bring her down again and again as I pound into her

"SEOKJIN!"

I watch her body shake and hear her scream.

I look to where my cock is in her as I keep fucking her and what I see makes me moan loudly

I see her white cum covering my cock, more and more going on me with every thrust

I fucking love it, I love that I made her cum

I love seeing it on me

I wonder if she came like that when I ate her out

The sight drives me over the edge

I slam her down and hold her on my cock, coming deep in her and feeling her pussy pulling me.

"Joanne fuck baby girl, you feel so damn amazing" I shout

We're both out of breath as she lays down next to me

"Fuck Joanne, you're amazing at sex", I breathe

"You too Jin. I never came that many times with anyone"

I smile at her words

"I should go", she says

"No. Don't" I say immediately

She looks at me, "Why?"

I shrug, "Because it's late, we're drunk and I want to fuck you more. All night"

"Oh really?", she raises her eyebrow

"Yea. And you want to stay too because you love the way I fuck you and make you cum over and over. So you're staying. End of story"

"Jesus Jin, I like this side of you", she says, "Ordering me around, it's hot."

God she gets me so horny with just her words

"Ok baby, I'll stay", she agrees

"Good"

I pull her to me and just kiss her

---------------------------

My head is fucking pounding

I'm awake but I don't want to open my eyes

The light from the window is gonna make my headache worse

Still I force my eyes open

My head laying on someone's stomach

And the person is naked

I slowly turn my head to the other side

She's asleep, on her back with one arm around my body while I lay on her tummy

Everything from last night came rushing back.

I fucked my best friend

More than once

All night

Sex then sleep for awhile then one of us would wake the other up and sex again

How did this happen?

I remember us all going out to a bar to have some fun

The guys and I just got back from tour

We wanted to have a good time like normal guys

I missed Joanne, I hadn't talk to her in the three months we were gone

So I called her to come with us

The guys love her too

I've known her since we were kids

She's not Korean, she's Italian but she was born in Gwacheon, like me

She lived next to me

Her parents lived in Korea for years before they had her

We met at school when we were five

Even though I was little I knew she was different and I wanted to be her friend

We became best friends and we stuck with each other through everything

But we never had feelings for each other, other than friendship

At least I never did, I don't know about her but I don't think so

And we definitely never slept together

But we were both drunk last night

I was horny and hadn't had sex in months and she was too

So we slept together

I just didn't think it would be so mind blowing

Or that I'd want more

Because I do

I seriously couldn't get enough of her last night

She is amazing at sex

The way she moves, the way she gets me off drives me crazy

And it's making me want her now

I look at her sleeping

She's gorgeous and her body is to die for

I move closer to her and kiss her lips

Her eyes flutter open and look into mine

She smiles and my heart skips a beat

What is going on?

Why did I feel like that?

"Hi Jinnie. You want more?", she teases

"Of you? Always?", I answer

She pulls me to her by the back of my neck and kisses me

Stars explode behind my closed eyes and my body shivers

What the hell is going on?

Why am I reacting like this?

She's just my friend

That's all

Her tongue goes in my mouth and I moan at how good it feels against mine

She rolls me over on my back

She trails kisses down my neck and I moan from them

She keeps going down my body to my cock

She kisses my head, then puts all of me in her mouth, going all the way down until I'm all in

I feel myself in her throat and it's so tight

She starts moving and fire shoots through my body

She blew me last night too and it was the best blow job I ever had

Like I keep saying, she knows what she's doing

"God, Joanne, your mouth is perfect", I groan

She sucks on my cock hard and fast

I can cum right now if I let myself but I don't want to

Not yet

It takes everything in me to pull her off

"Bend over princess", I say

She moves so she's on all fours and I thrust into her pussy from behind

"Fuck yes Jin!", she cries

She's already so wet and I go in easily

I slam into her mercilessly and she shouts out for more, for me to go harder

I grab her hips and hold her in place while I fuck her harder and harder

"Fuck Jin", she scream as she cums

Jesus, I love making her cum

I want to do it all day, everyday

I keep pounding in her until I get deep enough and hit the spot she loves

"I found it again princess", I tell her

I'm pretty good at finding it after last night

"You want it there Jo?", I tease

"Yes Jin, yes", she cries

"Ok."

I snap my hips and thrust harder into her, slamming her spot over and over

It takes less than a minute for her to cum again

Again, I'm in the right position to watch my cock go in and out of her

And just like last night, I watch her cum coat my cock

Fuck

I need to make her cum again

I want more of her on me

"C'mon baby girl. Again", I moan

Slamming in her again, she screams and explodes

I thrust a few more times and she orgasms a fourth time

More of her cum wets my cock every time she orgasms

"Again Joanne. I want to feel you so I can cum too"

"Yes Jin, whatever you want"

"Good girl", I praise her

When I thrust in one last time, she cries out coming hard and causing me to lose it.

I shout her name when I orgasm and she shouts, "Yes Jin, I love when you cum baby."

God she's hot

I pull out and fall on the bed

She lays down too and doesn't move

I hear her breathing hard

After a while of laying there, she sits up

"I'm gonna take a shower.", she announces and starts to get up looking for her clothes

"Can I come?", I ask

I want her to say yes

For some reason I don't want to be away from her

"Sure Jinnie. If you want"

"Ok"

"But you have to give me some clothes. You completely ripped my shirt in half. And you broke my bra so it has to be something baggy, so no one sees my boobs through the shirt.", she says

I snort, "That's gonna be hard with your enormous tits"

She glared at me, "Well maybe you shouldn't have ripped my bra off. If you don't have anything, I'll just ask Joonie for one of his shirts. Those will be big enough"

"No. You can have my clothes"

I don't know why but I don't want her wearing Namjoon's or anyone else's clothes but mine.

I get up and give her a shirt, which she puts on

I laugh as it falls right before her knees

She's short and small and looks absolutely adorable in the shirt.

"Thanks", she says, then just walks out the door

In just my shirt

What the fuck?

"C'mon Jinnie, hurry up or I'm not going to let you in"

I scramble to pull pants and a shirt on, then follow her

We have to pass the kitchen on the way to the bathroom

And I hear some of the guys in it

I glup as I follow her

"Hey Jo..", Namjoon trails off

When I get there I see him, Hobi, Jimin and Jungkook staring at her

"What...what?", Jimin stutters

"Is that...Jin's shirt?", Hobi asks

Namjoon looks at me and I nod

"Yeah it's Jin's. So what?"

"You were with Jin?", Jimin asks, his voice high pitched

I roll my eyes

Why is it so hard to believe that I have sex?

They act like there's no way a girl would like me or find me hot.

"Seriously? You didn't hear me scream his name over and over last night?", she asks, glaring at Jimin

"Uh no. Usually when we hear those sounds, we put headphones on or turn up the tv or whatever, so that we can't hear anything", Namjoon explains

She shrugs, "Whatever yes, I was with Jin"

"He's fucking lucky", Hobi mumbles

Seriously?

Hobi has a thing for her?

She smirks and I see an evil glint in her eye

She's gonna torture him

Well good for him

That's what he gets for thinking I can't get a girl

"Well maybe if you're really nice to me, I'll fuck you just as good as I fucked Jin."

Hobi pales and stares wide eyed at her

They all do

I laugh to myself

"Does that only apply to Hobi?", Jimin asks

"Oh Jimin, sweetie, you can't handle me.", she says

Jimin's mouth drops open

"Only some guys can handle me. Jin is one of them"

She's so evil

I love it

"And you think Hobi is another one?", Namjoon asks

"Maybe. Maybe you too Joonie. I think Yoongi would definitely be able to handle me."

"But not me?", Jimin asks looking annoyed at being left out

"No sweetie. Not Tae either. And I'd break Kookie."

Jungkook turns bright red

I cover my mouth with my hands to disguise my laughter.

"C'mon Jinnie, lets go.", she holds out her hand to me

I take it

"Where are you going?", Namjoon asks hoarsely

"To shower. You guys better put headphones on. It's gonna be loud"

Their mouths drop open and I smirk at them as I follow her

---------------------------

3 months later

Jin POV

"Jin, I need to talk to you. In person.", She texts me

She sent that two hours ago but we were practicing so I didn't see it

I haven't seen her for a little over three months

The last time was when we had sex in the shower

We just got really busy and our schedule was packed with appearances, performances and award shows

I've talked to her a few times

And I think about her all the time

I want her again, ever since that day

I check with Namjoon and we don't have anything to do after practice today

So I text her back

"We don't have anything to do after practice today. I can go to your apartment or you can come to the dorm"

She answers, "I'll come to the dorm. Text me when you're done."

"Ok"

Maybe I can have her again tonight

I never wanted someone more than I want her

--------------------------

"What?", I yell, "You're what?"

I'm in total disbelief

"I'm pregnant. The baby is yours", she repeats

"I...I...are you sure?"

From her face I know that was the wrong thing to ask

"What the fuck does that mean? I'm not a slut Jin. I only slept with you and no one else before or after that night. I haven't had sex in months, just with you. And we didn't use a condom"

Fuck

Shit

"We..didn't?"

How could I be so stupid?

"No Jin. We were probably too drunk to even think of it"

"But we weren't drunk the next day"

"No we were just stupid then", she answers

I honestly don't know what to say

She sighs

"Look Jin, I know it's a big surprise for you. Me too. But I just want to talk to you ok, so just listen"

I nod

"I'm not asking for anything ok? I'm not asking you to help me or raise the baby. If you want to, then of course you can. If you don't, then that's fine too. I don't want any of your money either. I make enough to take care of the baby."

I'm completely baffled

She doesn't want anything from me?

She doesn't want help?

"I know what a baby can do to your career and to BTS' popularity. I get it. I understand. I know the fans will be upset and I don't want me or the baby in the middle of anything. I don't want crazy fans coming after us. Not if I'm raising the baby alone."

This is just too much information right now

I can't wrap my head around it

Any of it

She's pregnant

With my baby

"I just wanted you to know Jin. I would never keep you from your baby. That's all I wanted to tell you."

I nod, still unable to talk

"I guess I'm gonna go ok? I have to work tomorrow"

"Ok", I say

She nods and gets up

"Bye Jin"

Then she leaves

And I'm left with all these thoughts, all this information

And I don't know what to do

--------------------------

"So what did Jo want last night?", Namjoon asks

The guys and I are sitting around the practice room, taking a break

"She left quickly too.", Hobi comments

"Yeah. Uh she had to tell me something", I mumble

"What was it?", Jimin asks

I don't answer

"C'mon Jin, you've been acting weird since she left last night. What did she tell you?", Namjoon presses

I sigh

They'll find out sooner or later

"She's pregnant. The baby is mine", I mutter

Silence

I can't look at them

I'm the oldest, I'm supposed to be the most responsible one, the one to set an example for them

I shouldn't be getting someone pregnant like I'm a horny teenager

"You didn't use a condom?", Tae asks

I shake my head, "We were drunk and didn't think about it."

"Ok. So what's happening now?", Hobi asks

"I don't know. I didn't really say anything. I just listened to her talk."

"You didn't say anything?", Namjoon asks, shock in his voice

"No. I couldn't believe it. I still can't."

"What did she say?", Jungkook asks

I repeat what she told me last night

"You're gonna let her take care of the baby by herself? You're not going to help?", Yoongi asks incredulously

"I don't know! I didn't decide anything. I've just been in shock. I don't know what to do. We're not together. I'm an idol, I'm busy and gone all the time. How am I going to be of any help to her?"

Yoongi shakes his head

"How do you feel about her?", Namjoon asks

"I mean I love her, she's my best friend but that's it"

I think

I've been feeling differently lately but I don't think I have feelings for her

I can't

I can't have a girlfriend while I'm an idol

I can't have a baby

I can't love my best friend

Not that way

"Ok. You know people who don't have feelings for each other in that way, raise children together all the time right?", Tae responds

"I know. But one of those people isn't an idol like me, doesn't have a fan base that expects them to be single or crazy dangerous fans that can hurt the other person or the baby. They have time to help raise the baby"

"Jin, look, you have to think about what you're gonna do. You can't run away from this. Yeah you made a mistake by not using a condom but you can't change that. I just think that you'd regret not raising your child or being in their life. But that's my opinion", Namjoon says

"I don't think you should let Joanne do everything. You helped make the baby, you should share the responsibilities too. Not put it all on her", Yoongi replies

He's right

I know he's right

I'm just scared

But the more I think about it, the more I want to be in the baby's life

The more I realize how dumb I was for not saying anything last night

Of course I won't let her do everything by herself

She's my best friend, I can't leave her alone to do this huge thing

That I help make

"I need to talk to her", I say suddenly

The guys look at me again

"I need to go now", I say standing up

"But we're practicing", Tae reminds me

"Let him go. This is more important than practice", Namjoon says

I nod at him and leave

---------------------------

I drive to Joanne's job

She's a special effects makeup artist for this horror show on tv that I can't watch because I'm scared of it

I've been here before

I've come to watch her while she does the actors make up a few times

She's really good at it

I see her go inside one of the makeup trailers on the set

I ask a worker if I can go talk to her and they allow it

When I get inside the trailer, I see her at the far end, sitting in one of the chairs, on her phone and eating.

"Jo?", I call

She gets startled and looks over at me

"Jinnie!", she says surprised, "What are you doing here?"

I walk over to her

"I came to talk to you."

"Oh?"

"Yea. Look Jo, I know last night I wasn't very responsive. I was really shocked. I should have been better about it. I'm sorry I wasn't."

"It's ok Jin. I know it was a surprise", she replies

"But still. I'm here to tell you that I want to help you with our baby. And I want to help while you're pregnant too. I want to go to all the appointments, I want to cook for you, I want to be around when the baby kicks or whenever you need me. I'm going to do my best to be around as much as I can ok. I don't want you to think you'll be alone. You won't. I'm here"

She looks at me, surprised

Then she smiles

Fuck

That smile, it makes my heart beat faster

"Thanks Jinnie", she says and holds out her arms for a hug.

I move closer and she hugs me tightly

I don't know why but I love being in her arms

I don't want to pull away but I do

I have to

[waitmyturtles]

Turtles Catches Up with the Essential BLs: Kieta Hatsukoi Edition

Review of Kieta Hatsukoi (My Love Mix-Up), ready to serve! I’m going through various messages and comments to make sure I tag the right person who recommended that I watch this, and I believe it was my dearest wonderfriend @the-nihongo-adventure, but if I’m wrong, forgive me! (And if I’m right, then as ever, THANK YOU!)

I ate this up in my continued effort to catch up with essential BLs, and Kieta Hatsukoi was just DARLING DARLING DARLING. I was drawn to watch this in part because I’ve seen so many gifsets of the show, including wonderful comparisons to my beloved Cherry Magic, with which I did see quite a number of parallels. (As always, my apologetic caveat for reviewing a show that many of you have already seen! This ended up being a long post, heads up.)

As Teppachi! was a gluttonous showcase for members of the Love Dream Happiness/EXILE TRIBE agency in Japan, so Kieta Hatsukoi featured two gems of Johnny and Associates, Michieda Shunsuke and Meguro Ren, the latter of whom has had a smashing two years of acting, not only in KH, but now in Silent and the NHK morning dorama/asadora, Maiagare! (Meguro is absolutely FANTASTIC in Silent, and if you’re balancing your QL diet with a dose of cishet doramas, I really highly recommend watching it.)

Before I sing its praises, I’ll offer a couple quick criticisms of Kieta Hatsukoi, which is that I think some plot points were rushed at the end of the series, just to move the story along. I think Aoki breaking up with Ida so quickly while at Ida’s house seemed a little melodramatic and rushed. I think their awkward interactions at school right after that seemed a little stilted. 

But these are small criticisms, and I bring them up to start this post because I actually think that some of the small melodramas actually served the plot very well. BECAUSE: 

This dorama was clearly set up to be a dear and sincere school dorama between two classmates, and I just think that Michieda and Meguro handled that sincerity SO WELL. 

Oh my god, Michieda’s Aoki. I literally was laughing OUT LOUD at his acting. His Aoki was SO sincere and wonderful! The way in which Aoki grew into his confidence to continue confessing to Ida throughout the show. The way in which Aoki continued to gain clarity into his feelings, while Ida was plugging away on sorting out his own feelings. 

It seemed to me that Michieda acted this role with such a deep COMFORT to become Aoki, and played Aoki so beautifully with such a lovely balance of awkwardness and authenticity. When he pretended to be a rapper to Ida? I was dying. He HIT his coming to his feelings with awkwardness so beautifully, I felt like he transported me right back to my own teenagerhood. 

[I’m playing around with the following idea, by the way, and may ask some of the expert commentators of QL here on Tumblr to comment in the near future, but I really wonder if BL-specific content pushes cishet actors -- especially more well-known actors, like your Meguros, Akasos, or Machidas -- to go well beyond their comfort zones and just NAIL their performances. Not that I’m biased -- I’m extremely biased on anything related to Cherry Magic -- but I feel that with all I’ve watched with my Akaso and Machida rabbitholes, that Cherry Magic is still the best show I’ve seen them in. Even with something like Kinou Nani Tabeta, which clearly drove two super-famous, legendary, and talented actors in Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou, to go beyond their usual scopes to find and demonstrate intimacy between each other -- it seemed miraculous, even while they’ve both acted brilliantly in other projects (please watch Nishijima’s Drive My Car and Mozu, and Uchino’s Tonbi, if you can find them.) I think a lot of what’s in Machida’s repertoire just doesn’t serve his acting ability at all and leverages him just for the looks (ahem, Super Rich, Teppachi). I mean, with the kind of volume these actors need to maintain for relevancy in a hyper-competitive dorama environment, they’re gonna be acting in some shitshows anyway. But it always seems to me that these guys with tremendous potential just overwhelmingly EAT their QL roles. Anyway -- food for thought. I’d be curious to find out if there were analyses in Japanese media on this theory.]

Sorry for that tangent, but it helps me to wonder how Michieda and Meguro so perfectly nailed the chemistry between Aoki and Ida. Ida was really convincing as someone who was sorting out his feelings! I believed him. I believed that Ida had always been sympathetic to people who felt they needed him. 

And while I thought it was slightly melodramatic that Aoki left Ida’s house in a huff when he felt like Ida was only treating Aoki as a friend -- I do think that melodrama served Aoki well. I think it contributed to a theme and commentary that Aoki was taking HIS OWN feelings very seriously.

I really loved that about this show. What I didn’t see happening was Aoki slagging on himself -- at least, after the first couple episodes, when dear Hashimoto and that camping instructor helped Aoki to feel confident to BE confident in his feelings. (I DID love that garbage bag scene, though. Whoever wrote that scene, I give you all your flowers.)

Aoki grew to be confident in his love for Ida, and it was a very simple and straightforward plotline that I think Michieda carried so lovingly and heartwarmingly throughout the series. I love how uncomplicated his love was for Ida. Aoki liked his guy, that was it! And he wanted his guy to be honest about his feelings, and was like, you know what, if Ida doesn’t know how he feels about me by now, it must be just friendship -- so I’m going to respect myself enough to get out of the relationship and stop pushing my feelings onto Ida.

That’s actually a pretty sophisticated emotional timeline -- a little rushed, yes, for a dorama, but that’s a lot of awakening for a high schooler.

And same for Ida. I like how brooding Meguro played his Ida at the end of the series, taking very seriously what Aoki was going through with Aoki’s need for a confirmation from Ida that Ida liked Aoki. Ida never, ever stopped taking Aoki’s feelings seriously. That was SO lovely! Never for a second did Ida take what was happening lightly, even while Aoki misread Ida. 

It was so sincere. I loved that Ida needed that final push from Taniguchi-sensei. I believed the wonderful run (god, I love this trope!) that Ida took to meet Aoki back at the school festival. I believed it when Ida said, wholeheartedly, that he really loved Aoki (wish I could screenshot this, dang it, Viki). 

It didn’t seem rushed that Ida needed the time of the series to come to his realizations about his feelings for Aoki. I loved that part of Ida’s sincerity was just not KNOWING what love felt like. It meant that Ida, himself, needed to come to this realization on his own, certainly with urging from his friends -- but that he wasn’t going to cop to anyone else’s definition of what love was. His love for Aoki was unique to Ida himself, alone. And I think that last line he said to Aoki at the festival -- “That’s alright. We don’t have to be like anyone else.” -- was apropos of that wonderful, singular, and honest mindset.

I honestly thought, going into this show, that it was going to be lighter than it actually was, and I always love being mistaken for that assumption. I’m definitely going to follow more of Michieda’s works (what an actor!), and I’m tremendously happy to have caught up with an important part of Meguro’s repertoire before I finish Silent. 

[sharpilu]

RiftClan Year 2

hello, i've officially given up on this clan. i'm just not interested anymore. but! i'm already starting plans for a new clangen to blog! so i'll be doing that soon :] feel free to read what i did do before moving on.

aaand we're finally back! sorry for the wait- got busy with runaways n stuff. you can find year 1 here! reminder: if you don't wanna see these, block the “riftclangen.blogging” tag <3

moon 13

just realized i never showed you my starclan guide- so here he is!

nothing special, but he's here.

not much happened this moon. Olivefleck and Streamsmoke had a successful hunt through the snow though so that's neat!

moon 14

OH MY GOD JUNIPERSTAR. also Flaxpaw is so fucking cute- though i decided to change her mentor to Skyglare. it just felt more right, especially considering Flaxpaw really seems to like her :]

she remains a cutie! and has become strict. sent her out on her first patrol and she got a vision. yippee.

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK. OKAY. I GUESS. FIRST DEATH FUCK IT.

Crestedfeather lived to 109 moons in total.

moon 15

ah.

Juniperstar lived to 168 moons.

the only important lives Skystar got was confidence from Crestedfeather and leadership through the darkest times from Juniperstar. also grace from Lilacchaser but idrc about her lol

aside from that- Streamsmoke has yellowcough and Flaxpaw tried to convince Olivefleck to run away. i can figure out lore for that later.

Streamsmoke is the only eligible cat to be the deputy, but she's super sick so i've decided instead on Ashspark. also i checked on Namielle and they're old now lol

Flaxpaw got a mangled leg from a fox while out with Skystar, which i forgot to screenshot.

just thought this was really sweet <3

we met Moonclan! Marshalleaf was friendly to them and we had a nice conversation :D

moon 16

Skystar is old now!

also apparently someone has been pranking Echobeetle by putting thorns in his nest??? nerds. on the topic of Echobeetle tho- i just noticed he...isn't grieving Juniperstar. weird.

Skystar and Ashspark went on a date <3

okay i ignored it last moon but Pansystreak keeps getting visions from Starclan. i'm starting to think Riftclan might just...be really spiritually connected? idk

moon 17

OW?????

WDUIOSJAD I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS A FUCKING STATUS LMAO

nothing interesting happened on patrols.

moon 18

everyone is feeling better, though Skystar and Marshalleaf have running noses now. also- i only just now realized that Streamsmokes bite mark is on her normal sprite. so. oop. guess she has two now since they're in different spots!

yeah okay everyone is having visions i think we're just really spiritual or some shit.

Olivefleck stole a rabbit from Biteclan and got a torn pelt, i like to think Marshalleaf chewed him out for it afterwards lol (since she was also on the patrol)

moon 19

nothing interesting in moon events, though Olivefleck and Marshalleaf feel better now :]

we met Furzeclan! Pansystreak and Olivefleck had a nice convo with them :D

pretty boring moon. damn. Flaxpaw had her warrior assesment tho!

moon 20

Marshalleaf is adorable and FLAXROOT! i love that name <3

she is now careful and a fantastic hunter :]

nothing interesting happened on patrols. scared a rogue tho so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

moon 21

Skystar finally moved on from Crestedfeather, which means i can now officially make him and Ashspark mates! yippee

Pansystreak and Echobeetle had a conversation about the nature of Starclan. cute

moon 22

oh. shid.

Ashspark lived to 107 moons.

Echobeetle lived to 142 moons.

i've decided that Streamsmoke is the new deputy (has trained an apprentice, is calm and a fantastic teacher, seems like a good cat) and Pansystreak will be the new medicine cat (showed interest in learning from Echobeetle, is shameless)

clan is uh...not doing good. yeesh.

i've decided it was Echobeetle <3 gonna draw that sometime me thinks

WE GOT A KITTYPET AND SOME BABIES !!!!!

i love them sm but i decided to rename Avalanchekit, and i generated Squirrelkit! <3

moon 23

yippee! though i did change Archpaw to a medicine cat apprentice, under Pansystreak. cause. Echobeetle got me scared lmao

also, Petalpaw is now adventurous, Squirrelpaw is now daring, and Archpaw is faithful.

NOT ARCHPAW FINDING A FAMILY OF CORPSES HER FIRST TIME OUT OH MY GOD

[borderlinehannibal]

(Unfinished) Top ten fics of the year!

Not counting dead dove content

These are all fics i threw in my bangers tag throughout the year :)) and now im sharing them with YOU! Also, these are in no particular order, because i can not rank these theyre too good <3

(*April edit! I nevee finished this post, but i still wanted to post it! So its just the six fics!)

1. For Whom the Bell Rings

“Why are you still here?” Xie Lian asked a small ghost flame. It was green with a purple tint, flickering in and out of existence, yet its core was oddly bright. The flame bobbed up and down slightly.

“There are people I care about greatly, and I want them to stay safe,” the ghost flame said, and Xie Lian felt distantly that he’d heard those words before somewhere.

Or: Jiang Yanli becomes a Calamity.

24k words, 20k hits and so fucking good it made me scream when it finished. If you give a single shit about Jiang Yanli and have even a passing recognition of TGCF, PLEASE READ THIS.

2. American Pie

Rodrick gets by on drums and hazing his little brothers and being alone in the basement while his family moves around upstairs. Sometimes you have to be thrown a life preserver before you realise you're not swimming, you're drowning.

14k words and 11k hits- A rodrick/OMC fic by my own best friend!!! And its so fucking good man, i love the character development, the fucking depression, the music, the family dynamics, the OC is so good it makes me tear my hair out, i just. Fuck, man. Read it.

3. Heap of Ashes That I Am

Sometimes, when Izuku allows himself to comprehend the sick reality of his life, he finds that it no longer resembles the roots from which he sprouts. He is a fickle rose bush that was cared for and raised and coddled in its early seasons by a loving mother, growing strong, interwoven roots and a reliable base. And, Izuku thinks, he would have been a lovely rose bush. He would have flourished and unfurled and oh wouldn't that have been nice?

Instead, along came Bakugou Katsuki: vegetation killer in a compatibly sized spray bottle.

But this is the life Izuku has. It is ugly and broken and unrecognizable and so unbearably his and, god, how Izuku wishes it wasn't. But it is. So he makes his peace.

or

Izuku finds out he has a revival quirk and uses the opportunity to become a vigilante.

226k words, 296k hits and it deserved every single one of them. Jesus H Christ, this fic is so good the characters, the angst, the development, the found family, the redemption, i just! I can't! Please!

4. Weaver of Silk and Dreams

Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

73k words and 58k hits - look me in the eyes and tell me this isnt a perfect fic. The fucking. The fucking descriptions, the prophecies, the spider totem nonsense, the instincts, the ANGST, the fantastic four in general, ben and may my beloveds, and the endgame spideypool? Jiminy!

5. A Villain State of Mind

Written for the Norsekink prompt: "SHIELD has Loki in custody, with the gag on to keep him from spellcasting, but they don't really know what to DO with him. They can't give him food or water or attempt to interrogate him with the gag on, and they don't dare take it off. Their solution? Call in a telepath! But Charles Xavier may find more things in Loki's head than SHIELD bargained for..."

53k words and 14qk hits- Not just this fic, but this whole series are some of the biggest bangers ive ever read. Loki's slow drinking of the mutant family kool-aid, and coming to respect Xavier and care about shit and be cared about and just. Aughhh!!! Please read this series i will cry.

6. Monster Culture

Written for the 2014 Norse Big Bang.

When Loki is injured by Kurse in Thor: The Dark World, Thor pleads his case to the All-Father and Loki is given the chance to repay his wrongs on Midgard in the care of Bruce Banner. Over the course of a year, the two navigate the city of Boston and try to figure out what it means to be human and what it means to be a monster.

40k words and 10k hits- Bro dont even get me started i will cry i will actually cry. I know gammafrost isnt the most popular pairing but like this deserves so much more attention and love.

7.

[triflesandparsnips]

Update 2: Cursed once again with A TERRIBLE DISCOVERY.

When last we checked in, the grated Venetian Nabulsi soap needed to dry in the sun for ten days and the Oil of Lavender needed to soak in the shade for twelve. So obviously, ahahahaha, fourteen days later, I returned to the adventure. LET'S CHECK IN WITH OUR VARIOUS BUDDIES.

The Oil of Lavender

So I actually have rather a lot to say about this whole Oil of Lavender experiment, and also maybe the nature of amateur research in general, and since

it turns out that the Oil was definitely not ready yet;

its use can actually be put off a bit for reasons that will become soon apparent; and

this reblog thread is already too fucking long--

I will be moving this whole discussion to a new post.

Figure 1. Also I want to talk about the book I found the recipe in because it's great, look at this, here's a recipe "For the Frenzie" that requires beet juice squirted up your nose, how fuckin fantastic is that.

So, uh, if you were waiting on that update, maybe... maybe keep track of my #funky little alchemist with funky little interests tag, where I will discuss my Terrible Decisions about Oil of Lavender at a later time.

Anyway, this brings us to--

The scraped soap

Look at this beautiful pile.

Figure 2. God's own pencil shavings.

After drying, lightly covered, in the sun for fourteen days, the scraped soap is indeed pretty dry, even though I definitely forgot to stir 'em up. The smell is light and, I would say, kind of... milky? It's definitely soap, but it was like it was subtly spelling out the word "~gentle~" in my brain every time I gave it a sniff.

Time to Make Up a Recipe

As I may have mentioned before, there are a lot of recipes for wash-balls (............still funny), and their ingredients range from "regular spice cabinet stuff" to "what the fuck is 'Benjamin'".

But! Because I'm still at the "let's fuck around and find out" stage of experimentation, and do not want to spend Lots of Money on something I will subsequently Fuck Up Tremendously, I went through a three-step process to determine my version 1.0 recipe.

Step 1. What do I already have in supply?

I went through the recipes I'd collected so far for this project (about twelve -- not a lot, to be honest, but good enough for now) and made a list of: the ingredients I had around already; what books mentioned them; and if I was very lucky, the amounts of each ingredient those recipes listed.

Figure 3. C'mon, William Salmon, what am I supposed to do with "some" Rose-water, how long is "a while," why are you like this.

Step 2. Take away the outliers.

From that I subtracted the ingredients that only showed up in one recipe, on the grounds that maybe they were oddballs or actually specific to a particular effect the maker was trying to achieve. So farewell, marjoram and rose-flowers, we hardly knew ye.

I also got rid of at least one ingredient because-- well, it showed up in more than one recipe, and it's something I had around, but... it seemed kinda random. Surely cornstarch ("Starch-corn") couldn't be that important.

...Reader, put a pin in that.

Step 3. Normalize (or straight up guess) at amounts.

Because I went with ingredients that appear in multiple recipes, I ended up with a lot of different possible amounts for each ingredient. But using the goal of lavender soap as my guide, I ended up with the following:

Version 1.0 7 oz. dried soap 1 oz. whole cloves, ground fresh 1 handful dried French lavender flowers, ground fresh rosewater, q.s.

Oh! Hey, shit, welcome to some cool apothecary info: If you see "q.s." in a recipe, it means "as much as is sufficient." Thank you, Moyse Charas, you fuckin hero, for reaching 345 years into the future to hand me half a clue. I love you.

Time to Guess at a Process

Want another apothecary fact? If you see "s.a." or "ex Arte" in a recipe, it means "According to Art."

Or. Hear me out. It sometimes. Sometimes. Means "now do the thing that you were definitely taught by an expert irl because you definitely won't be given any hints here. Nerd."

...I am willing to accept that maybe this is also just an "oh, everyone knows how to fold in the cheese" kind of thing when a "s.a." shows up. But only because I can't definitively prove that sometimes these writers were just assholes.

All this to say: you are about to see me get. Very, very wrecked.

Figure 4. Cloves and lavender in the mortar.

Figures 5 and 6. Grindy grindy. As a note, cloves require crunching with the pestle before you can really get a good grind on.

Figures 7 and 8. Dampen the dried soap with rosewater... oh god. That... that might be too much rosewater.

Hannah Woolley (1670) was the only writer to mention using your hands at any point while making these balls, but, uh, surely she wouldn't lead me astray. Surely.

Figure 9. Maybe adding the powdered lavender and cloves will help soak up the excess!

Figure 10. JESUS CHRIST MY HAND HAS BEEN EATEN BY A GREEN THING.

Hannah Woolley, come outside, I just wanna talk.

Leaving aside my new life as a swamp gremlin, it should be noted that this and subsequent photographs makes it appear as if the mix is, perhaps, a very light green color.

Let me just say: No. I can, at my kindest, call it maybe a heathered green. But it would also not be inaccurate to call it a very, uh, herbal green.

So by this point in the proceedings, the very green mixture was both declining to get particularly dry and was also sticking like fuck to my hands.

It was then, like a gift from my already-overburdened memory banks, that I remembered: cornstarch.

Figure 11. Okay, not cornstarch. Sorry. It's arrowroot powder again. IT'S WHAT I HAD NEARBY.

I... may have dumped in the arrowroot at least twice more. No photos, no proof, you'll never catch me, coppers.

With the arrowroot worked in, though, I finally got enough oomph to start forming balls with the stuff. And, as if my grandmother rose from the grave to try and once again teach me how to make her special Easter cookies, I started rolling the soap in my palms to form the balls... and I suddenly remembered that trick where you flour your hands when you work with dough. To keep it from sticking to your skin.

I was a bit late off the mark, but I did manage to at least partially flour my hands with the arrowroot, and that helped considerably with actually making the fucking balls. The large volume of cornstarch mentioned, but not explained, in any of my collected recipes was now justified.

(EX ARTE, EAT YOUR HEART OUT.)

Leaving us with:

Figure 12. A goddamn lavender wash-ball.

And now we wait (some more)

I ended up making five-and-a-mini little wash-balls, which are technically too small overall, but whatever, this is still Experimentation Time. They are now, per various process notes in various recipes, drying again in a shaded location. For how long? Dunno. We're gonna find out.

The outside, as you can see, is rough as hell (though, when I was rinsing the mix off my hands afterward, there was a pleasant abrasive quality to it), but some of the recipes suggest that maybe you're supposed to smooth it out a little after it finishes drying with some rosewater. BUT. I am also considering whether this might be a use for: THE OIL OF LAVENDER. (Aw yiss, full circle.) It's an exciting prospect.

Anyway, I'm gonna check on these fuckers in a few days and see what's up. It'll be an adventure. We can all find out together.

So the stickiness and the green and the cornstarch thing-- those were the "terrible discoveries" you made?

Hm? What?

From the title of the update, trifles. The "terrible discovery," all-caps, that you're cursed with.

...

Look.

This keeps happening.

The last time I made a historically possible self-care extravagance for Stede Bonnet, I thought it would smell like oranges. This time, I hoped it would smell like lavender.

And you know what I got instead, both goddamn times?

MOTHER. FUCKING. COOKIES.

Stede "my fursona is a delicious bakery" Bonnet coulda just been, idk, casually ruining lives with some wafting clouds of absolutely edible 1717 scent profiles as he jauntily bounced along the bounding main and I have to live with that knowledge what the fuck.

And I swear. I swear upon my grandmother's ghost. I did not intend to have this fucking thought.

But between the feel of the doughy soap in my hands. And the warm, spicy, sweet smell still lingering on my skin as I drove home from the studio. I was overwhelmed with the sudden, all-consuming question that left me aching for an answer I can never, ever let myself attain...

Would it taste like cookies if I--

For those who may or may not remember my mostly historically accurate Stede Bonnet lip balm, get ready-- I'm going to start experimenting soon with mostly historically accurate lavender soap.

So... I guess be prepared for me to accidentally explode more shit, hooray.