#moreid one shot 10

[spritehouse]

ShortMC's Whumptober 2023 Scrapped Scenes (pt. 1)

(Shorter) Scenes, dialogue, etc. that didn't make it into a final draft

Putting these here because I might use some of my ideas in the future (+ I like using this color scheme) All word counts are for me because I like knowing

Please heed the trigger warnings before every section

The aftermath of I’m Getting Desperate (losing my mind):

Prompt: "Make it stop" (no. 3 Ralvez | 59 words | I originally planned to extend the story into parts of the aftermath/Luke's recovery from the events of the fic

Luke blinks, looking up from his lap at their fingers interlock.

“Real?” he whispers, eyes wide, wondering if this is another cruel joke his mind is playing on him.

“Real,” Spencer nods, squeezing his boyfriend’s hand, the gesture tugging at the corner of the older man’s mouth—the closest he gets to smiling these days. “I’m real, Luke; I’m here.”

Spencer having a panic attack (I don't have a title)

Prompt: Shaking (alt for no. 4) 142 words

⚠️TW: panic attack & self-harm (scratching)

He’s shaking.

Spencer’s hands won’t stop shaking, folding his fumbling fingers together in an attempt to quell the anxious electricity buzzing beneath his skin.

He can’t breathe, gasping and gulping for air, dry sobs shaking his shoulders.

It won’t stop. He needs it to stop.

 It won’t stop.

He waves his hands, shaking them out, hoping to release some of the energy bubbling, burning through his body, digging his nails into his forearms and dragging them through his skin when that doesn’t work.

Deleted scene from The Sky is Overcast (I’m sorry):

Prompts: "You're a liar" (no. 9) + "You said you'd never leave" (no. 10) + Goodbye Note Ralvez | 46 words | Luke was originally going to give Spencer the note & imply that there would be another one if he died while he was gone.

“This–” Luke holds up an envelope, his partner’s name written on the front.

“Luke, no–”

“–this is for you, cariño.”

“–Luke, please don’t do this–”

“There’s another one, in case I–” He swallows, finally making eye contact with Spencer. “You’ll get it if the time comes–”

A single scrapped line from Wide Awake, Spiraling:

Prompts: Captivity (no. 11) + Insomnia (no. 12) Ralvez | 25 words | In which I actually use the word from one of the prompts instead of making them implied

⚠️TW: vaguely referenced (past) unhealthy relationship

He’s her captive, still trapped by a cage of claws around his memories, even if he isn’t still in her grasp; there’s no escaping her.

Scrapped Scenes from I Can’t Hide From You (like I hide from myself):

Prompts: Infection (no. 13) + "Just hold on" (no. 14) + "I'm fine" (no. 15) Ralvez | 101 words | One line where Emily & Luke worry + Spencer telling Penelope to call Luke

Emily glances at Luke when Spencer isn’t looking, eyes filled with worry, and the younger agent responds with a nod, exchanging an unspoken “I’ll take care of it.”

“Reid? Boy wonder? Can you hear me? What’s going on?”

“Pen... I need... need Luke…”

“Oh my god, Spencer– What’s going on? Are you hurt?”

“I don’t... don’t feel too good.”

“Okay. Okay. Okay! I’m calling Luke right now and getting an ambulance to your location, 187. just hang on.”

“M’kay…”

“Garcia? What’s–”

“Luke, Spencer’s on the line and he says he isn’t feeling well.”

“Cariño? Spence, can you hear me?”

“Mhm... here…”

Spencer gets shot.

Prompts: "I don't feel so good"/Infection (no. 13) + "Just hold on" (no. 14) + Makeshift Bandages (no.15) Moreid | 324 words | Spencer gets shot (again) & EMTs can't get to his location quick enough

The average speed of a bullet fired from a typical muzzle is approximately 2,700 feet per second.

“Reid?”

That’s 900 yards per second; a bullet fired from 25 yards away will hit its target in about 0.03 seconds.

“REID!”

The average human reaction time to visual stimuli is around 0.25 seconds.

“SPENCER!”

He will be 0.22 seconds too late.

“REID!”

Derek fires once, twice before the younger agent hits the ground, head hitting something with a sickening crack.

“Spencer!”

He doesn’t waste time on the unsub, one of his bullets hitting him square in the forehead, rushing to Spencer’s side instead.

“Come on, Pretty Boy. Look at me,” Derek kneels beside the younger brunette, hand instinctively moving to the wound on the back of his head, blood soaking Spencer’s hair and more seeping through his shirt. “Look at me, Pretty Boy. Show me those beautiful eyes.”

Spencer’s eyelids flutter, heal lolling to the side with a soft groan.

“Derek?”

“Right here, kid. Look at me.”

The younger agent pries his eyes open, gaze hazy and unfocused, finding Derek.

“There you are, Spence. Keep looking at me.”

“‘M bleeding...” He murmurs, eyelids drooping as shaking fingers weakly find the wound in his side. “Gotta stop the bleeding...”

“Yeah, got it, Pretty Boy.” Derek nods, forcing himself to focus, assessing as if he’s holding some stranger, not his best friend, before taking off his jacket and pressing it against the injury, drawing a sharp inhale from the younger brunette.

“It takes three to five minutes to bleed out from a gunshot wound... a person can lose up to 40% of their blood volume without dying, which is about 2 liters of blood–”

Derek wants to cut him off, tell him that isn’t going to happen, that he isn’t going to die, but talking means he’s still awake, that genius brain still calculating, crunching the numbers, gears turning, and alive, so he doesn’t.

Scrapped Scenes from Please Hurry, Leave Me (I can’t breathe):

Prompts: Drugging (alt for no. 16) + Touch Aversion (no. 17) + Tortured for Information (no. 18) Ralvez | 113 words | Luke trying to talk to Spencer/help him after Hankel

“Spencer, I understand you’ve been through something traumatic–”

“Stop! Stop talking to me like I’m a victim!”

Luke sighs, lowering his hands and leaning back in his chair.

“Okay.”

The younger brunette watches him for a beat, waiting for his boyfriend to speak.

“Okay..?”

“Okay, we’re going to sit here until you’re ready to talk because we’re not going home until you let me help you.”

Spencer frowns, fumbling with the cuffs of his sleeves

+

“Spencer, I understand you’ve been through something traumatic–”

“Stop! Stop talking to me like I’m a victim!”

You are, Luke wants to argue, but he knows better, he knows that it’ll only make Spencer close himself off more.

Total Word Count (only this post): 810

Check out my complete Whumptober 2023 Masterlist here!

[tevantarlos]

Upcoming Fics?

So, I still need to write my BTHB fics for this year. I've got several to write, haven't had time to do so yet. Gonna try to get crackin on 2 or 3 of those fics tonight, hopefully, or at least tomorrow night, since it will be the weekend.

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 19 - "healing me"

Season 10, episode 16 "Lockdown" (it's the one where the team is called in a maximum protection prison in Texas to investigate the murders of two guards; they were murdered by some inmates because they used to beat up/bully some of them and even killed one. While Morgan and Callahan are interviewing one of the guards who is about spit it all out, another guard opens up like a dozen of cells; the convicts escape and tie up/kick/punch repeatedly both Derek and Kate. They only stop because one of the convicts - Julio Watson - tells the others they are feds)

@svn-f1ower-cm - unawarely - inspired me to write this because I'm a sucker for Hurt Derek + Caring Spencer and there's a disappointing amount of these types of fic - we almost always see it the other way around :(

(also I know I basically almost just posted a fic but like... I can't stop you know)

Inaccuracy: I believe in the episode Kate and Derek are tied up with handcuffs. In here I mention plastic cable ties...oopsie doopsie

Read it on AO3

-------------

Rossi was driving. Morgan and Reid were in the backseats of the SUV; in the other one were riding Hotch, Kate and JJ. They were heading to a hotel to get a - hopefully - good night's sleep before flying back to Quantico in the morning.

Kate, in particular, had protested because she wanted to get out of there as soon as she could - she already knew both her and Derek were gonna spend the night haunted by nightmares about what had happened to them; let alone if they weren't home, far from the place they were attacked. Hotch, though, had insisted that they stay there.

The "good night's sleep to start fresh in the morning" was nothing short of an excuse: he didn't wanna mention that he felt more comfortable knowing his two injured agents could get a hand with their wounds if needed at least for one night, since, having booked the rooms with little to no advance - it's not like they walked in that prison expecting to be beaten up - they'd had to double up: Rossi and him, Callahan with JJ, Morgan with his boyfriend. Hotch knew if he had mentioned it, he'd have gained at leastest Derek's complaints if not Kate's, too.

-

Morgan had been staring blankly at the moving landscape out of the window since the moment they'd got in the car, trying to wash that nauseous feeling off of his stomach - the way his seatbelt was pressing onto his sore abdomen was surely not making it any better.

He swallowed a puddle of bitter saliva pooled up in his mouth and rubbed his eyes vigorously with his fingers.

"Looking firmly ahead should make the nausea better. Incessant eye movement is only gonna increase the sickness."

Derek turned his head toward Spencer's voice, sitting by the other window instead of on the central backseat right beside him - he had correctly figured he would want some space.

"I know."

"At least move to the front sea-" Reid's phrase got interrupted halfway by his phone buzzing in his jacket pocket.

"Garcia?" he answered.

Morgan sighed and shook his head. He should've known better than to not return her calls: she counted on the well-acknowledged fact that Spencer's heart was too pure to avoid her, contrary to what Derek had done.

"Your boyfriend is blatantly ignoring me." she pouted.

Spencer scoffed. "Not surprised."

"But is he okay?? Kate didn't sound OK when I called her. At least, 'shell-shocked trembly voice' doesn't equal 'OK' in my book."

"Well then I guess he is ok in your book?" he quickly glanced over to Derek, who was staring down at his hands in his lap but clearly attempting to eavesdrop the conversation.

"Then can you convince him to talk to me? DEREK MORGAN I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!" she yelled, causing Spencer to snatch the phone away from his ear to avoid going deaf at her squeaky voice, with a grimace that showed a hint of amusement.

"Tell her that I'm fine." Derek said, unable to keep a slight grin from playing at the corners of his lips. He guessed it was Penelope's goal all along. It always was.

"I did!" Spencer said. "Garcia, he's fine." he got back to speaking to her.

"I can confirm, he's still your healthy piece of chocolate- or whatever you call him." Rossi added jokingly from the front.

"You heard that?"

"Ok! Fine! I heard you! Will you take care of him, though?"

Spencer giggled shyly at that. "Yeah. I will take care of him." he replied lowering his voice significantly - he wanted Derek alone to hear. He received a glance and a snort from him at that.

They stared into each other's eyes for a while, before Penelope spoke up again.

"And...will you do me another favor, Boy Wonder?"

"Anything."

"Will you hold his hand for me?"

Spencer chuckled again. "Give me a second." he unbuckled his seatbelt and scooted to the seat right beside Derek, buckling up again with one hand.

Derek's pupils followed his movements with a confused smirk on his face. "Wha-"

"Shut up, just following orders." Spencer cut him off, sliding his hand on Derek's lap to lace their fingers tightly together.

"Done." he assured Garcia.

"You're a guarantee, Spencer Reid."

"I sure am." his gaze on Derek didn't waver.

"Mwah. I'll see you tomorrow, my heroes."

"Bye Penelope." he hung up.

Spencer brought his boyfriend's hand to his mouth, to place gentle kisses on his bruised knuckles.

"That an order, too?" Derek asked, looking at him with heart eyes.

"Nope. This is a bonus." Spencer replied, smiling.

"I see..." Morgan nodded with a grin just as wide printed on his face, shifting his look ahead of them.

For a second, he caught Rossi's smiling eyes from the rear view mirror.

-

- half an hour later

-

Morgan opened the door to their room and was invested all over again by a sickening feeling. The window was small, every piece of furniture was a dull shade of grey/beige-ish color, and it smelled like...sadness. Hotch would sure as hell regret deciding to stay the night after seeing those rooms.

Reid dropped both their go-bags on one of the single beds and stared at Morgan as he kicked his shoes off and sat on the mattress, elbows digging holes in his knees. He sighed and got closer, standing on his feet.

He reached a hand down to caress Derek's nape affectionately, satisfied with how his shoulders immediately relaxed at the touch. Derek tilted his chin up to meet his gaze, and Spencer could swear his heart swelled when seeing on his face what he guessed was the famous "puppy-eye look" he always accused him of pulling off.

He slightly smiled down at him. "You wanna shower first?"

"Yeah." he nodded.

Derek finally stood up and looked at him with something akin to a guilty expression. "...thanks"

"For what?" Spencer leaned in to gently kiss his temple. "do you need help?"

"To shower?" Derek snorted, while browsing in his bag for his sweats and a t-shirt.

"...doesn't hurt to ask, right?" Spencer nipped shyly at his bottom lip.

"Baby, I'm fine. I'll let you know if I need anything."

Spencer nodded, trying to contain his smile at the pet name as Derek turned on his heels and disappeared in the bathroom.

-

Morgan found himself regretting refusing the offer when even bending down to pull his pants off turned out to be a painful motion.

He sucked it up and proceeded to remove the bandages the medics had wrapped around his torso, and the band-aid Spencer had insisted that they put on the cut on his brow bone. The bruises on his belly were still burning red and purple, and the scratch layered over them was fresh like it was made a minute before - he hissed in pain when the bandage sticked slightly to it while trying to peel it off.

Much to his relief, the warm water of the shower seemed to soothe down the soreness - at least temporarily. The other, nasty side of the coin, though, was that it made the cuts itch even more.

He tried to clean himself and his wounds as best as he could, considering the limited range of motions the pain allowed him to engage in and how little longer his legs could keep him standing from the exhaustion.

Unfortunately enough, when he got out of the shower he felt 20 lbs heavier, and the swelling of his left shoulder had worsened - if it was even possible. He bet Spencer had trusted him to know he should've showered cold. Maybe he shouldn't have been so trustful, despite how Derek would've sure as hell rolled his eyes if he'd tried to remind him.

He managed to put his sweats on through clenched teeth, and sat on the crappy stool in the corner of that crappy bathroom of their crappy hotel room, to re-do the medication, hoping it would come out at least half as effective as how the medics on the ambulance had done it.

And just like that, as expected, when he tried to reach his hand down for the antiseptic he had - stupidly - placed on the tiled floor; a stabbing twinge of pain pierced through his left shoulder and spread like an electric shock down his spine.

It was probably time to swallow his pride.

-

Spencer took advantage of the time Derek was spending in the bathroom to finally put his pajamas on - he was too tired to think of showering. He'd do that in the morning before leaving.

He was sitting on the bed, reading a book, or at least trying to: every single noise that came from the bathroom's direction made him wince in alertness.

"Fuck-"

-

When he heard the bit-back cursing, he jumped on his feet and headed to the other room in a matter of seconds.

"Derek? E- Everything ok?" he asked through the closed door. He didn't wanna seem too worried or too pushy, he new Derek couldn't stand it - but he was worried.

"Yeah..." Morgan made a pause not long enough for Reid to answer. "actually... Can- can you come in here for a sec?"

Spencer opened the door and was immediately absorbed in a cloud of hot steam, condensing on the mirror and the sliding glass door of the shower.

He turned to his right to find Derek shut-eyed sitting in the corner of the small bathroom, his head leaning back on the wall and a hand pressed on his shoulder.

"You showered with hot water??" Spencer was well aware of sounding like a teacher scolding his student. He couldn't have cared less.

"Jeez Spencer, I forgot, alright? Didn't even cross my mind to shower ice-cold."

The younger man sighed and shook his head. He looked around for the t-shirt Derek was wearing before showering.

"Let's see if this works..." he mumbled to himself while filling up the sink with cold water - the coldest it could get. He dipped the cotton piece of clothing in it, making sure it was thoroughly soaked; shivering as goosebumps grew on his forearms.

He wrung out the shirt of the excess water and folded it, before kneeling in between Derek's legs to place it on his puffy shoulder.

"Shit. 'ts cold." Derek sucked his teeth while visibly shuddering.

"That's kind of the point." Spencer mockingly smirked at him. "Sit straight now." he commanded.

He picked up the bottle of antiseptic from the floor and poured some of it on a gauze.

"It's gonna sting a little..." he warned him, an apologetic look on his sweet face. Derek just nodded.

Spencer hesitated a bit. He hadn't yet managed to take a real look at his boyfriend's injuries. He gulped uncomfortably, images of what those convicts had done to him flashing before his eyes - Derek hadn't told him what they'd done; he could only imagine.

Derek watched him slowly trace the bruises on his abdomen with his hands. His breath hitched for a second in his throat and his abs instinctively contracted as the pads of Spencer's fingers magically left goosebumps behind, as if his skin was a plain canvas and he was drawing onto it.

"Hey," he murmured softly, tilting Spencer's chin up with his index. Puppy eyes. "I'm fine. You told Garcia yourself."

"I know." Spencer nodded unconvinced, ultimately proceeding to gently press the gauze on his scratch to clean it.

Derek's abdomen tensed up once again. "Stings like a bitch, not 'a little'." he muttered screwing his eyes close.

Spencer slightly chuckled. "Come on, big guy." he mocked.

"Got jokes now?" Derek smiled through the pain. His grin did nothing but widen uncontrollably when, a second after, Spencer's eyes leveled up with his, to repeat the disinfecting-process on the cut on his brow bone as well.

He stared at his concentrated expression, the one where his pink lips parted a little to let the tip of his tongue stick out at the corner of his mouth. His pretty face so close it made Derek wish he could eat it.

When said expression changed into a deep frown, and Spencer's hand detached from his face, he guessed something in his own expression must have involuntarily hinted at him to do so.

-

"Does it hurt so bad? Am I- am I hurting you?" Spencer worriedly broke the silence, catching in Derek's eyes a concerning glimmering that had replaced the warm, knee-melting smile he was wearing before.

"No- nonono it's not- it's not you, kid." he shook his head vigorously in response.

"Then what?" Spencer asked, tossing the gauze in the small trash can before cupping the other's face in his hands.

Derek looked down at the small portion of ceramic-tiled floor that was separating them. "I don't know. I guess I just can't stop thinking about it."

"...about what specifically?"

Spencer was a bit afraid of asking him to be specific. Again, he didn't know what they had done to him and Kate - luckily, she only seemed to have a split lip. Guess being a big, black, male federal agent hadn't helped him at all. It never did. Spencer's heart ached at that every time.

Morgan sighed. "The only reason why we're here, is because Julio saved our asses." he met his gaze again only after saying it.

What could Reid reply to that? It was nothing but the truth. The team would've never made it in time if the convicts had continued beating them up - and God knows what would've happened then. He couldn't let his mind go to that place.

"What...what did they do to you?" he found the nerve to ask instead.

Derek shook his head a little, as if silently asking: 'what will it change once you'll know it?'

"Derek," Spencer gently stroked his boyfriend's chin with his thumb. "What did they do ?"

Morgan hesitated for another second or two.

"Alright. First," he raised both his hands in front of the other's face, to remind him of the bruises on his knuckles. "fist fight, of course. I couldn't see but- I think they literally threw Kate over the table and she fell on the other side..." he frowned deeply, realizing only then how shaky his voice had become. "They also stabbed the guard we were interviewing in his hip. You remember that one?"

Spencer nodded briefly.

Derek was getting a bit self-aware of how vulnerable he must've looked from his boyfriend's perspective. He continued regardless.

"Then they, uh...threatened us both with knives at our jaws." he dropped his eyes once again, letting a tear fall down and hit the floor.

Reid said nothing. He had to swallow the lump in his throat several times, but he said nothing.

Only then he noticed the wet traces some drops of water had drawn on Derek's pecs and biceps coming from the folded, damp t-shirt resting on his shoulder. He finally removed the piece of clothing and distractedly tossed it in the sink behind him; a crumb of relief was enough to lessen the creasing of his eyebrows when he saw his shoulder's puffiness had gone down pretty visibly.

"And this?" he asked, taking a towel to wipe dry Derek's skin.

Derek turned his head to look at his shoulder - like he'd forgotten about it for a second - feeling like a 5 lbs weight had been lifted from it.

"That's...when they tied us up and pushed me to the ground. I fell on this shoulder on the concrete." he sniffled. "and then just...kicks. Everywhere." Morgan waved a hand, gesturing around the area of his flushed abdomen.

'Tied us up'. Spencer suddenly remembered finding him like that, and being the one to cut the plastic cable ties on his wrists and ankles. He dropped the towel and took Derek's hands. The red marks of the ties had significantly faded away but were still there; his complexion not dark enough to conceal them. He could only imagine how evident they must've still looked on Kate's fair skin.

"And still..." Derek continued after a while, wiping the few tears he'd shed with the heel of his hand. "I- I just can't bring myself to blame them for feeling enraged like that. You know?" he asked, as if wanting Spencer to validate his thought.

He tilted his chin up again, and Spencer's shoulders helplessly dropped with the weight of sheer sadness when he saw the look on his boyfriend's face, and the flush around his eyes.

"Yeah. I get that." he paused. "But- but Derek, it wasn't our fault that those guards abused of their power- and killed that kid. We could only intervene once they called us. You know this."

The words didn't seem to solace Derek at all. But Spencer didn't know what to say - for once. He tried not to indulge in self-denigrating thoughts - because Derek always begged him not to - but sometimes he realized he really was of no help in comforting him, or at least not nearly as much as Morgan was for him; always having the right words and, if not that, surely a pair of strong arms to protect him. Reid didn't even have that.

He tried anyway - maybe he couldn't fiercely shelter him, but he could gently soothe him.

-

After a long silence, Derek felt soft hands once again cupping his face.

Out of the blue, Spencer started sprinkling kisses all over him - near the cut on his brow, on his bruised cheekbone. And then slowly flowed downwards, paying extra attention to press his lips gently on his swollen shoulder. And his hands left his jaw just to grab onto his waist, and scatter velvet kisses on the whole bruised area of his abs. And Morgan let him do it, closing his eyes because for once he wanted to try and give in to the fantasy that Reid could really kiss his pain away; and at each new peck, each new time his lips warmed up the skin lying underneath them while the tip of his tiny nose and the ends of his hair tickled him like the wings of a butterfly - each time he was convinced more and more that Spencer really had the power to take away his pain, and kiss Derek's way out of his relentless thoughts that only added to the physical ache of it all.

And he didn't deserve it, he thought as a new wave of tears heaped up beneath his eyelids. He didn't deserve any of it - any of Spencer.

"Spencer..." he whispered his name, and the other's face rose up again to level with his.

He snaked a hand behind Spencer's neck, entangling in his silky hair, and slipped an arm around his torso, and he kissed him. He took his lips in his as if trying to do the same for him, to return the favor. And when his tongue languidly made its way inside Spencer's mouth, brushing past his plump bottom lip and curling up with his as if it could get any deeper than it already was; and a breathy moan escaped those lips that he was trying to cradle into the same comfort they'd cradled his body before - he took that moan as a sign that maybe it was working, that maybe he was managing to strip out a small amount of the ache at least a quarter as successfully as he'd done with him; a different kind of ache but in no way less wrecking.

Spencer's lips broke out of that kiss that left them breathless but asking for more at the same time.

"I- I don't wanna hurt you and I- I still have to bandage you up." the words were nothing but a shuddering whisper against Derek's mouth, at that point.

"You're not hurting me. You're healing me, Spencer."

-

Spencer's heartbeat increased to a point where it was deafening his ears. He parted their foreheads and stared deep into Derek's black eyes, like he could find the answer to why he would say such a thing if he stared long enough.

"Everything you do. You heal me." the man added.

He dropped his gaze down to the floor to hide from Derek's sight the tears that were on the verge of spilling out of his eyes, drawing his eyebrows together intensely in the attempt of pursuing that task.

"...it's the bare minimum I can do." he murmured, his voice was shaking way too much now for him to keep pretending Derek couldn't hear it.

He swallowed and shook his head to pull himself together.

"Now, at least let me do that properly." he smiled with glossy eyes, achieving the goal of receiving Derek's smile back. Only his smile made him feel 100 miles above earth level.

He un-wrapped his limbs from around the other's neck and reached down to take the roll of gauze. He untucked the end of it to press it on Derek's front, asking him to keep it in place while he encircled his torso with his arms to make several laps around it, trying to cover the whole scratch as well as the most part of his bruising - he hoped the bandage could work as another layer to lessen the soreness whenever Derek accidentally bumped into something or pressed against it.

While doing that operation - slowly, still afraid to hurt him - he was inevitably close to the point of feeling Derek's breath on his skin, especially when he had to lean forward to pass the gauze roll from one hand to the other behind his back.

Derek's face inched closer and nuzzled his nose and lips lightly against the soft spot on Spencer's neck below his ear, making him impossibly ticklish.

"You're de-concentrating me." he reprimanded him jokingly.

" 'm sorry. Can't really help it. Though you should work on your attention span." Derek felt the other's smile against his skin.

"Luckily enough, I'm finished." Spencer finally stood up, grunting at how numb his legs were. He couldn't help but notice yet once again how, for one reason or another, his knees always hurt after he'd spent time with Derek. Even if he tried as hard as he could, though, he couldn't recall one single time where it was due to an unpleasant reason...

"Hope it lasts..." he added, forcing his mind to shift away from that topic.

Morgan mirrored his motion and then reached a hand out toward the hook on the door with the intention to grab his clean t-shirt; which he would've managed to do if it hadn't been for Reid beating him to the punch.

He threw him a glare with his head slightly tilted, followed by an overly dramatic eye-roll. He gave up at last, putting his hands up to help Spencer slip the t-shirt over his head, trying not to burst out chuckling at the adorable smirk playing on his face.

-

They walked out of the bathroom and into the other room. Derek sat on the bed and slowly laid down on his back.

He let out a heavy sigh, shutting his eyes with his palm. "Why do I have this feeling that NO sleeping position possible won't hurt?"

Spencer stood still beside the mattress. "Well- I can- uh, I can sleep in the other bed it's no big deal, I don't want you to lose any more sleep..." he suggested half-heartedly as he started to take a step back from the bed, biting the inside of his cheek and scratching the back of his neck.

"What? Nuh-uh, no way pretty boy, I need you here and now." Derek replied, gaining a wide, timid smile from his boyfriend. He carefully propped himself on one elbow and grabbed Spencer's wrist to pull him closer toward him.

Spencer crawled beside him and laid onto his side, spooning him. He figured it was the less painful position: it didn't put pressure on his left shoulder, because he was lying onto his right side; nor on his abdomen; and last but not least, Derek was never the type to sleep on his back. That was gonna be his excuse if asked - he sure as hell wasn't gonna ruin his "know-it-literally-all" reputation by revealing that he simply loved being the big spoon.

He pulled the comforter over them, before wrapping both his skinny arms around Derek's broad body; one enveloping his middle, the other his shoulders, sneaking from beneath the crook of the man's neck. A warm sensation spread over his chest, only increasing when he heard a faint sigh of contentment slipping out of the other's nose.

Derek switched off the lamp on the nightstand, finding himself a little surprised when the beginnings of drifting off to sleep came so easy, embraced by the man he loved more than anything on this planet.

-

He felt Spencer's soft, slow, damp kisses tracing from the crown of his head to the nub of his spine; and then the tip of his nose brushing up and down that same trail.

"I don't know what good I did to deserve you, kid." he whispered after a while. He could easily bet that got Spencer all blushy and cute - not that he could see him, but he'd come to learn by heart how to make him flush a long, long time ago.

"If you don't stop saying these kind of things I'm gonna kiss you senseless." Spencer replied, playing tough - which came off cuter than he'd probably wished.

Derek chuckled. "That a threat?"

Maybe Hotch's idea wasn't so bad after all.

[katytheinspiredworkaholic]

Dog Days

Pairing: Moreid (temporary Morgan/Savannah)

Rating: Mature (just to be safe, will be adjusted by the end of the fic)

Summary: The Unrequited!Love Dog-Sitting fic disguised as a Holiday Fic

Everyone knows that the myth of ‘The Reid Effect’ has been debunked when it comes to babies and children, over the years, but interactions with dogs still leaves much to be desired. That is, until Reid finally happens to meet Morgan’s dog -- Clooney. Turns out, most dogs might dislike the young doctor, but Clooney is absolutely enamored with him. Will not leave his side, begging for attention, and Morgan can’t help but see the opportunity for what it is: a chance to help Reid past his fear of dogs (because his dog is the best and what’s not to love?), while he gets a prospectfully new dog sitter as he travels to Chicago to visit family for the holidays. 

And Spencer is terrified of this dog, but still says yes in the face of Morgan’s earnest request. Because Dr. Spencer Reid has been silently in love with his best friend for many years, and despite his every attempt to move past it -- how could he ever deny him anything? Even looking after his giant, wolf-like dog. 

Important Tags: Angst, Unrequited Pining, but not actually because they’re both morons. There is no cheating in this fic. Canon-compliant, set around season 10. Christmas/holiday themes. Fluff and humor as well. Lots of dog related puns and activities. Misunderstandings and miscommunications and dumb men being so dumb. Happy Ending. (But not before I rip your heart into tiny confetti sized pieces.) 

CW: Remember how I said there was angst? Basically we’re all going to be suffering from broken heart syndrome for a lot of this story. I cannot stress enough how much this might make you cry. Also, I have made Clooney a very large dog, and Spencer is very much afraid of this dog to start with. I promise Clooney is an absolute sweetheart, though, and they bond over how much they miss Derek over the holidays. This is NOT a Savannah bashing fic, Savannah is a queen and might take matters into her own hands about these two idiots -- just so you know. ((And I don’t know yet if I’ll be adding sex into this. I haven’t written the end completely yet, if I do I will change the tags/rating, and if I -don’t- then I’ll probably end up doing a one-shot separately.))

Posting Date: 12/01/2021 (post will be sporadic due to holidays and travel)

Spotify | Pinterest | Ao3 link 

((See below for links and tag list, send me a message/ask/rb comment if you want to be added))

Snippet Previews

Ask Game Clip, WIP Part 1,

Chapters Links!

Chapter 01, Chapter 02, Chapter 03, Chapter 04, Chapter 05, Chapter 06, Chapter 07, Chapter 08, Chapter 09, Chapter 10

FANART/ Additional Moodboards

(tba)

Tagged list so far: @lilibee, @dumpsiteforfics, @kenni-woodard, @merpancake, @emmyraebird,  @physics-magic, @thaddeusly​, @tobias-hankel​,  @sideblogforcrimpy​ @anxious-enby​  @adamjacksons

[hotchscotchh]

hey congrats on 100!!!

could you do ✉️ with moreid with the phrase “for him, i’ll do anything” thank you thank you

Thank you!! This is definitely not the best thing I have ever written, but uh... I answered the prompt lol

“For him, I’d do anything.”

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Spencer had tried to get himself hurt again. They were in Scranton, Pennsylvania. A team of men were murdering pastors who openly preached homophobia. Honestly, some of the team were considering it a public service kill.

They will never be the type of people to condone killing, but blatant homophobia was something that none of them would stand for. Especially because two of the men on their team were openly interested in men and pursuing a relationship together.

By the time they managed to find this team, they had taken an entire church’s congregation hostage. They had found them by pure luck. The team of murderers had been escalating for a few days now, changing from a murder a week to a murder a day, almost immediately after the BAU arrived. In their escalation, they made mistakes. It was almost a given. They didn’t wear gloves, but they cleaned up after themselves. They must have been in a rush to get away from the crime scene because there was a partial fingerprint left on the doorknob.

They ran it and found their one of their unsub’s fingerprints in the prisoner database. He’d been arrested previously for assault and battery, and was involved in a lawsuit that alleged a “Christian summer camp” of being a site for conversion therapy.

Anyway, when the BAU got to the church, they were face to face with at least 10 armed men, ready to shoot their way out of there. They had guessed the team consisted of around five members; they never would have expected this.

Back to Spencer. It is a well-known fact that the man is the proverbial trouble magnet. He had been the first one out of the SUV, so he was in direct line of fire when the men started shooting. Derek was in the seat next to him and immediately jumped out of the SUV, putting himself in front of Spencer. The next round of shots rang out, and Derek went down. So did Spencer. They finally managed to get swat on site and took the men out. There were already ambulances waiting for them, thank god.

Spencer somehow managed to only suffer from a flesh wound in his arm. Through at through. He made it through the ER with some stitches and a round of antibiotics. Derek, however, wasn’t so lucky. He had been shot in the leg. It could’ve easily been a flesh wound like Spencer’s, but the bullet had ripped through a muscle. He was rushed into surgery to have in repaired. Spencer is currently freaking out. He had been asking for Derek the since the second they made it into the hospital, but no one would tell him where he was. They wanted to keep him as calm as possible and thought that him not knowing would keep him calmer than the stress of knowing that Derek was currently in surgery.

They were wrong. He started yelling the second they told him. “Are you all stupid? Why in the hell would I be calmer having no idea where he is? You should ha-”

He was cut off by a surgeon entering the waiting room. “Derek Morgan?”

Spencer stepped forward. “I’m his medical proxy.”

“He’s going to be just fine. We reconstructed the muscle. He won’t be able to walk without crutches for about a month and will have to do some physical therapy. You’re more than welcome to come back and see him now.”

Spencer nodded and followed the surgeon back to the recovery rooms. He didn’t look behind him, but he knew

Hotch and probably JJ were following him. Spencer nearly collapsed in relief when his hand found Derek’s. Derek smiled up at him from his bed. “Hey, Pretty Boy. Glad to see you’re okay.” Spencer had let a few tears fall from his eyes. He gave a watery laugh at the comment and leaned down to give his lover a kiss before pulling back and punching him on the arm.

Hotch interrupted their moment. “Reid, why don’t you go get some coffee?” Reid nodded, knowing that Hotch would be wanting to give Morgan the “you’re an idiot” talk. He heard JJ say she would come with him. He knew she would be trying to apologize, and he knew he would forgive. Spencer had just been stressed and worried earlier. He felt bad for snapping.

When the younger agents left the room, Hotch moved to sit in the plastic chair next to Morgan’s bed. “That was stupid, Morgan.”

Derek gave a weak smile. “I know, Hotch. But, for him, I’d do anything.”

Hotch gave a smile, if that’s what you want to call it, and rubbed Morgan’s shoulder. “I know. Let’s try not to let it happen again, though. I don’t particularly enjoy losing two agents for a month. Don’t give me that look, you know Reid is going to weasel his way into staying home with you.”

[okimargarvez]

Gif sets

GARVEZ

How we started ; Shades of garvez ; The someone ; Difference (12x17 / 15x4) ; Smiles ; Evolution of a relationship ; 10 things man does when he likes/loves/is in love with a woman ; Walls ; Lancelot and Guinevere ;  The way they look at each other ; Crime scene photos ;  Same distance ;  The best ; Weird parallelism ; Asking a date ; Garcia is always cold with Luke ; Luke typical face when he sees Penelope ;  Before you ; Meteorology ; Last words (garvez, shea, delquesne) ; Same attitude (Luke vs Walker) ;  Frame ; Men do not grow ; What they were ; Happiness is just a facade ; Why Luke is fucked ; Alvez ; Why Penelope is fucked ; You are the best (2) ; Work or personal life? ; Never realized ; Get out / come in ; Take back ;  Brick by brick ; The right one ; The way Luke listens PG ; Easier ; Slight chink ; Intimate ; Evrrything happens for a reason ; Series: Garvez + quotes ; Find someone ;  Garvez story ; Times ; Parallelism ;

They all know: Matt ; JJ 1- 2 ; Rossi ; Emily ; Tara ; Spencer ;

Garvez & flowers : Part 1 ; part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4 ; part 5 ; part 6 ; part 7 ; part 8 ;

Garvez & Shea : Love is not perfection ; Ways to say I love you without saying I love you ; Just married

THE GOOD DOCTOR 

Until I met Lea ; Jordan & Danny ;

Garvez & Calleigh x Eric : Different blonde, same attitude ; Garvez / Calleigh-Eric ; Eric vs Luke

GENERIC

I’m pregnant ; 

CRIMINAL MINDS 

ALL BAU love interests; CM first apparition ; Favorite CM ships ; Heroes ; Goodbye ; Sergio & Roxy ; Pain is an universal language ; Wheels up ; First and last episode together ; Zugzwang ; Sweet dogs ; The glue ; Double date or disaster dinner ; The Bunker ;  The Fantastic Three ; Friendship ; We’re family ; Saturday ; Little profilers in training ; So much love ; If she makes you smile ; Definition of family ; Dangerous ; Don’t change (Hotch-Garcia)

Who are you? Penelope ; Spencer ; Emily ; Luke ; Rossi ; JJ ; Derek ; Hotch ; Tara

LUKE - Roxy ; Protective and caring Luke with BAU ladies ; I’m here (JJ / Penelope) ; Luke Alvez hugging people ; All Luke shades ; Luke Alvez, the profiler in training ; I belong here ; It’s a sundial ; Lone wolf ; Desk ; Behavioral Analyst ; - Luke dark shades: one ; two ; three ; four ; five ; six  -Favorite Luke scenes: 12x1 (1) ; 12x1 (2) ; 12x17 (1) ; 12x17 (2) ; 12x21 ; 13x7 (1) ; 13x7 (2) ; 14x6 (1) ; 14x6 (2) ; 14x6 (3) ; 14x6 (4) ; 14x6 (5) ; 14x6 (6) ; 14x6 (7) ; 15x5 (1) ; 15x5 (2) ; 15x5 (3) ; 15x5 (4) ; 15x5 (5) ; 15x5 (6) ; 15x5 (7) ; 15x5 (8) ; 15x5 (9) ; 15x5 (10) ; 15x5 (11) ; 15x5 (12) ; 16x4 (1) ;

PENELOPE & SPENCER - You really are afraid of the dark ; Brain challenge ; Fit test 1 Fit test 2 ; I’m crazy for cryptograms ; Penelope and Spencer hugging through the years ; Magia - Penelope: Garcia was shot? ;  All Penelope shades ; Nervous whistles ; Sam ; Living at the BAU ; Anything left ; Prison ; Beige ; Esther ; Hospital ; Garcia is a Latin surname ; Hugs ; Bat-cave ; Jealousy 2 ; Favorite emotional moment of S15 one - two - three - four - five ; Be soft ; Happiness is just a facade ; The love you take ; On the field ; Funeral Outfit ; - Spencer (with moreid hints): Sarcasm ; Two guns ; Coffee ; Why Reid always winning? ; Age ; Yale ; Music is math ; He has a point ; A mother knows ; E equals MC squarred ; Handshake ; Don’t judge a book ; Bulls ; Medico della peste ; Phantasmagorias ; Sweet goodbye 1 ; Inside the mind of a genius ; Prison ; Father

DEREK / morcia - Morcia / Garvez ; Work call (morcia vs garvez) ; Why I shipped morcia ; Gomez ; In love with a hero ; Smarter ; Rewrap, wrap, unwrap ; Let go ; Sweet goodbye 2 ; The genie and her lamp ; Latin girls are the best ;  Jealousy - Same attitude : On the field ; Remote control ;  Kind ;  

HOTCH - Hotch’s brother ; Smarty pants ; I work the case ; She makes him smile

EMILY & JJ - Willifer / Prendoza - JJ: Roslyn ; Marry me  - Emily: Take a decaf ; Prendoza one - two - three - four ; You are not alone

ROSSI - Breaking news ; Never again ; Papà Rossi ; Rain ; Rossi & Carolyn ;

[sunlightgaps]

rules: answer the questions and then tag 10+ other creators to answer the questions!

tagged/mentioned in post by @captainchilly​, @lgbtrogues​, and @saprentiss ! thank u guys sm, you guys are definitely some of my favorite content creators too <33

unsurprisingly mostly criminal minds themed but there will be other fandoms sprinkled in LMAO... i only just realized how little i dabbled in edit sets compared to scene sets this year... hm may need to rectify that next year

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: first set of 2020: this stanley uris appreciation set and most recent: gideon & rossi bullying derek & spencer

one of your favourite creations from 2020: this blue dbh connor set...... my first attempt at a color-blocked set and it turned out better than expected!

a creation you’re really proud of: this blue spencer reid set? for scenes where he’s moving, i had to color the background frame by frame which took a While™

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: will you guys hate me if i say it’s the pride gradient silenced style... i didn’t post them on my blog but i have like 11 gifs from different fandoms in the same style

your favourite colouring: hands down this thor: ragnarok set i made for @whiterubys (who also happens to be one of my fav creators <3) 

a creation that took you forever: this spiderman set that i made for my friend’s birthday! the footage hunting + the coloring killed me 😃

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: okay this is so embarrassing but it’s the “if i get shot do i get to keep the bullet” set 

a creation you think deserved more notes: okay this incorrect moreid quote gifset was a complete shitpost so i don’t mind at all that it didn’t get notes but it was kind of funny

a creation with a favorite scene/quote: you know what i’m plugging my “slightly altered” version of the season 2 deleted moreid scene,, that was a doozy imo 

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: criminal minds! i actually only made a few gifsets for other fandoms before october when i started getting really into cm LMAO anyway, here’s a “serious” scene set + my commentary that’s actually kind of funny (aka spencer has no self-preservation) 

a creation you made that breaks your heart: okay so this is a simple scene gifset of derek/spencer in amplification but the scene itself is so tragic </3

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: the reddie/moreid parallel gifset... the concept is simple but just. the possibilities

a creation that was inspired by another one: can i put videos on here. here’s a joke vid of the bau + uncomfortable blinking music from only by nicki minaj but like. the original version was veggietales i feel like i’m digging a hole for myself

a favourite creation created by someone else: oh gosh there’s so many but recently, emily prentiss + she used to be mine by @heat-waveee, emily prentiss + evermore by @marvelfanlife, and the rainbow cm set by @ssaalexblake

some of your favourite content creators from the year: hmm rec’ing some artists @blinksinbewilderment, @lilliesthings, @cringesideblog, @gravelyhumerus, and also @bad-cm-art <3

and for good measure, another couple more creations of yours that you love: implied emily & spencer being each other’s beards, emily prentiss being the hottest person alive, spencer struggling in general, this video i edited with dad hotch & son spencer, emily & spencer relationship growth

tagging the people i mentioned above + anyone else who wants to do this!

[tobias-hankel]

7 and 10!

7. What ship is your favorite to write?

- Ahhh I don’t know. It’s a mix between Hotchreid and Moreid. They both have good and bad qualities. Like Hotchreid smut is so D/s but Moreid is more caring and I love that. If I had to pick, it would be Moreid... But I love Ethan/Spencer too 😂

10. What is your favorite fic you’re ever posted?

- Chaptered fic,  Good Boys Don't Cry. It is part of my series and I wish I did it alone but it was so dark and so much fun to write. One shot, Does No One Notice or Does No One Care? My only T-rated fic 😂 It was just nice to write. 

Fic writer questions

[luvervinyl]

Viv help, gimme all the Moreid friends to lovers (or anything to lovers) fic recs please I am EMOTIONAL and I need to feel SOMETHING!!! It can be angsty, fluffy, one-shot, 10 chapters, slow burn, au, anything, please ANYTHINGGGG 😭😭😭😭😭

(not all of these are friends to lovers cuz they're hard to find and I don't read them as often as other fics)

@gravelyhumerus - College AU (Jemily) 

@dontshootmespence - No One Should Spend Christmas Alone ( Jemily) 

@girlanda-pen - valentine (Moreid) 

AO3 - (I can't link things here, but here are the links as is) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23482558

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25426294

(Iwbwwhwjwh sorry I can't find anymore 😭) 

[ssa-lesbian]

Moreid- 8 & 10 🤍🤍🤍

moreid // what do they argue about? answered here!!

moreid // what tv shows do they watch together, and what do they hide from each other?

again i don’t watch tv lmfaoooooo BUT! they always watch new releases (both tv and movies) together, no matter what genre it is. like the unit chief wives, they watch criminology shows together a lot except reid examines every single plothole and inaccuracy and morgan complains that they need more action shots. individually, reid watches his documentaries and foreign movies (morgan can’t sit still for SHIT), morgan pretends to be all high and mighty with action movies, but he has a super soft spot for animated movies and anime (studio ghibli, your name, weathering with you). that’s my headcanon and no one can convince me otherwise, you’re welcome.

send me a ship and a number!!

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 22 - "strings"

Another one inspired by season 5, episode 10 "The slave of duty", though with an entirely different focus compared to my other fic based on that same episode (which btw was my FIRST can u believe that)

I'm gonna remind you of a couple things that are important to understand this work (the plot of the episode/case aren't tbh): this is that period in the show where Morgan is taking Hotch's place in leading the team; plus Reid's been recently shot in the knee so he has his cane and everything. The first dialogue is word by word reported from the show and then I go from there ;)

@upsetti0spaghettiii and @rollcreditsyall asked me to tag 'em <3 hope u like it

Read it on AO3

-------------

"We need fresh eyes..." Rossi mumbled, more as if telling himself than the rest of the team.

Morgan acknowledged the older man's hint and sighed deeply, sinking further in his swivel chair. "A'ight, listen up,"

He continued once everyone's eyes darted up to him almost as quickly as they'd dart up to Hotch - which always lit Spencer up with pride, somehow.

"I want everybody to go back to the hotel and try to get some rest. We're gonna have to pick this up again in the morning."

Prentiss poorly contained a taken aback expression. "Wha- we're giving up?"

Reid was this close to piercing her skull with a laser-glare, because Morgan was RIGHT - how could she not see that they were getting nowhere? But then again: would've looked like he was playing the part of the blindly supportive boyfriend. Which, he never did.

"No." Morgan shot his head up to glance at her; albeit with anything but malice in his eyes. "We're gonna take a break. We have to give the profile at morning roll and none of us has slept since the funeral."

Realization; painted on Emily's features. Now do you see? Reid wanted to ask - he didn't, of course.

"Once Garcia can get us a paper trail, then we can expand our canvas. 'Till then there's really not a lot we can do." Morgan concluded, and silence fell in the room like a heavy blanket, smothering whatever other retort his teammates may raise.

-

Reid waited for the others to exit the room before standing up and making his way around the desk, straining against the searing pang that shot up from his healing knee at the motion.

He settled behind Morgan's chair and let his free arm loosely encircle him from behind, resting his palm on the man's broad, tense chest.

After unnecessarily checking once again that there weren't any nosy officers peeking from outside, he carefully bent down to reach Derek's temple and place a lingering kiss there.

"You did the right thing." he murmured, and immediately felt the other man releasing a breath at his words.

"I know." Derek responded shortly, finally moving from that concerningly petrified position to place his palm over Spencer's hand, pressing more firmly to discourage him from breaking contact.

Spencer allowed his tired eyes to flutter close for a few seconds as he rested his cheek on his boyfriend's head, relying on his trusted cane not to let him fall headlong on the moquette - "who's the idiot that decided putting moquette in a police station conference room was a good idea?", he recalled the comment Derek had whispered to his ear a few hours before, and he recalled thinking that only someone as obsessed with everything furniture-wise as Derek Morgan could notice and care about such a thing as a police station flooring. "Pfft... good luck with washing that if someone spills coffee".

The thought awakened him before it could bring a stupid, unbidden smile to his lips.

Washing. Soap, warm water, shampoo... he needed a well deserved-

"Shower." Derek's voice and the noise of lips briefly smacking on his palm resonated in the genius' half-asleep ears. "Need a shower."

Spencer smiled now. "Me too."

"I know. Could hear you thinkin' about it." Derek left another kiss on Spencer's wrist before gripping on the armrests to stand up, needing him to lift his warm cheek seemingly melting on the top of his head to do so.

"C'mon," he encouraged, turning around to finally take a look at the man's sleepy face.

"Gotta help Goldilocks here shampoo up." he grinned warmly, tilting his head.

Spencer only snorted, because with that damn smile what the hell could he say to the man.

-

Reid sighed deeply as he slumped onto the toilet lid, resting his cane against the tiled wall of the bathroom.

He took off his jacket and pulled his sweater vest over his head, and the second he began maneuvering with his tie, a pair of hands landed over his.

He glanced up slightly annoyed, but gave in to let those hands do the work nonetheless.

"It's the pants I struggle with, not the upper part of my body." he specified for the millionth time - the millionth time he'd found Derek helping him get out of his tie and shirt even though he could do that by himself just fine.

Morgan arched a brow and scoffed, keeping his gaze leveled with the collar of the other man's button-up. "What's in it for me if I don't at least get to undress my boy, uh?"

Spencer contained a smile, ducking his head to look at Derek's hands proceeding to undo the buttons once he'd slid the tie away.

"Not exactly the type of undressing you'd wished for, I'm guessing..." he mumbled sheepishly after a couple seconds.

Derek's eyebrows furrowed now. He said more with those eyebrows of his than he did with his words.

"Any type of undressing you is the type of undressing I wish for..." he trailed off, and Spencer noticed his shirt had magically slid off of his shoulders and was being untucked from his slacks.

Derek's smile grew as his pupils traced from the skinny man's hips up to his chest and laced with his eyes at last.

"It's that I enjoy the view regardless, pretty boy." he added winking, before placing a kiss right over the man's heart.

Spencer didn't say anything. His usual "whatever you say" or the like would only supply him with Derek's eye-roll and another cascade of cheesy praising followed by Spencer's impulse to kiss him and then a few other things which he didn't have the physical strength to engage in, in that moment.

So he settled for thinking those things, lost in his own head while his eyes followed each one of Derek's careful motions that only resulted in layers and layers of clothing peeling off of his body, unable to pinpoint when exactly he had propped up to let the man pull his pants down to his ankles.

The only thing he managed to feel, right after the piercing cold ceramic under his thighs once his slacks were no longer cladding them, was the noise of the brace straps and the sensation of it freeing his leg and then-

"Ouch- Waitwaitwait, Der- wait" he pleaded through gritted teeth, as a twinge of pain awakened him from his pleasant reverie.

"I'm sorry baby, I know this part always hurts like hell" Derek said, and they both knew the 'part' he was referring to was the one where Spencer had to stretch his leg, numb and strained from having it caged in that hellish plastic brace for hours straight.

Spencer nodded and let his boyfriend do the rest - the first couple times he had tried to protest and get through everything on his own, feeling nothing short of a burden and decidedly embarrassed. Now, though, he knew there was no point in arguing, not simply because arguing with Derek when it came to taking care of Spencer was pointless to say the very least; but mostly because Derek was inexplicably good at taking care of him. Doctor Reid could surely brag about his PhDs, but Derek seemed to own every medical training in the world when he had to care for Spencer's pain.

-

The other man rose to his feet for a few seconds, taking the forgotten plastic stool in the corner of the room and placing it in the shower, before starting the water to get it as warm as Spencer liked it. Which meant, 3rd-degree-burn warm.

He returned to kneel in front of the naked genius in his briefs and mismatched socks only, smiling fondly at the sight.

He gently grabbed Spencer's ankles to slip off his socks - it made his toes curl and Derek adored it - and wrapped his strong arms around his boyfriend's skinny torso to pull him up to his bare feet.

Spencer only slightly hissed and grasped onto Derek's shoulders like his life depended on it - which, it kinda did, seeing how the worryingly sharp edge of the marble bathroom counter seemed to be waiting just for the man to wobble under the weight of his recently wounded knee.

Derek hooked his fingers in the elastic band of his boyfriend's underwear and let it fall to the floor so the other could step out of it - just a week ago that same, easy action almost cost Spencer to trip over and smash his skull straight into the sliding glass door of his shower; but Derek pushed that memory away because acting like the overly protective boyfriend wasn't gonna make things any better or easier, anyway.

It's just. Spencer was so fragile. There was no denying that. His brain was worth all their brains added together if not more, but dammit could a bruise stain his fair skin for weeks on end; reason why they'd given up on hickeys a long time ago - at least visible ones - in light of the fact that ever-lasting purple marks weren't exactly a good idea in their line of work.

"Derek, uhm, I'm taking a wild guess your fully clothed self doesn't know how cold it is in this bathroom, but, it's cold." Spencer's complaint brought him out of his head.

He looked down at himself and, indeed, he was fully clothed still.

"Wanna bet that I won't be as cold as you? You just like to whine a lot don't you?" Derek teased, pulling his henley off.

"It would be decidedly stupid of me to bet on such obviousness ? It's granted that you won't feel as cold as me considering that I'm skinnier; muscle heats up the body through metabolism as well as fat which works as an insulating-"

Reid's babbling was cut off by the man's laughter.

"...what? What's so funny?"

"I finally got naked for you and that's still not enough to stop your fact-spewing?"

Derek saw Spencer gulping and scanning him from head to toe.

"...right" he murmured, biting the inside of his cheek.

Morgan brought the other's pink-tinted face back up with his hands, lifting his gaze from where it was lingering on some undefined area very much below his usual approximately 5'8-something horizon line, and placed a kiss between his eyebrows.

"Come on. I ain't gonna risk you getting a cold on top of everything else." he said softly, securing Spencer's waist with two hands from behind to lead him first into the shower.

And thank God that one was an actual shower, instead of that bathtub the two of them barely fit in with a half-unhooked plastic curtain from that crappy motel the team found themselves having to spend a whole 6 days in, just a couple weeks before. And thank God for the stool, also, because helping Spencer through a shower while either standing or sitting on the floor were provenly exhausting techniques for both of them.

Derek eased his boyfriend into said stool and could immediately see him relaxing under the warm water. He dropped on his knees and started untangling the man's matted curls with his fingers - Spencer had confessed that, before Derek, he only used to untangle the knots with a comb after having showered because he didn't have the time or patience to do otherwise, but Morgan had rightfully reminded him that he had not one but two sisters, hence he was so used to observe how carefully their mom routinely brushed and braided their hair when they were little he could repeat the process by heart - so at the end of the day, "I might be bald but I sure know more about curls than you do, pretty boy".

After having managed to loosen maybe a couple of major tangles at most - nothing out of the ordinary - he reached for the shampoo and squeezed a generous amount on his palm, smearing it on both hands before spreading it onto Spencer's mop of hair.

Morgan had always wondered how the hell the kid always smelt so good; the rare times he could perceive something other than the cozy smell of coffee that almost perpetually imbued Spencer's aura. For some unfounded reason, his first guess had been that the source of such sweet smell must've been Spencer's cologne. After a month at most of knowing him, though, the hypothesis that the lanky genius with the crooked tie and that cardigan Morgan couldn't picture as anyone else's but his grandfather's actually wore cologne, was thrown out of the window. So he'd quite confidently settled for option B, which entailed that the scent had to have something to do with the detergent he used for his clothes. Little did he know he would find himself in Reid's bathroom some night after a case, and his eyes would be caught by a plastic, peach-pink bottle of shampoo that, to his "surprise", smelled like...like Spencer. Like something sweet and fruity with a spicy hint of cinnamon. And it's not like Morgan wasn't aware of the notorious, rom-com cliché that the aphrodisiac smell of the person you're hopelessly pining over is more likely due to their shampoo than anything else; it's more that he didn't want to give in the realization that not only Spencer's hair looked good - and, much later on, felt good twirled around his fingers - but on top of that it smelt good. Oh, dammit, my crush's hair smells like heaven which only adds to the fact that he probably fell from there, seeing how it makes him look like a downright ANGEL. Come on. Supervisory Special Agent Derek Morgan would've preferred without a smidge of doubt to remain unbeknownst of that, for the sake of his poor heart.

Poor heart, indeed, when Spencer started literally purring close-eyed under the soothingly kneading motions of Derek's digits through his hair. There was really no reason to keep on massaging the shampoo on Spencer's scalp for 5 minutes straight, if not that sight.

"Spencer?" he called, failing to contain the urge to lean in and peck at his lips.

"Hmm ?" the dopey man hummed in response.

"Sweetie, don't fall asleep on me here, yeah?"

" 'm trying. But you're not helping." Spencer mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his fingers from the water streaming down his face to open them in slits.

"Ah, so now it's my fault that you get all dreamy when I play with your hair?"

Spencer frowned. "Uhm, yes ?"

The other man chuckled. "Alright. Got the message." he claimed before standing briefly to his feet to grab the sprayer.

"Mmh' no this is even worse..." Spencer mewled when his boyfriend started rinsing his hair with warm water, running his fingers through it to be as thorough as possible.

Derek burst out laughing. "You're unbelievable, I swear to God." he said, making quick work of the rinsing process or else he would've undoubtedly have to drag a passed out, naked Spencer out of the shower.

He put the sprayer back in place and took the shower gel - he had to use the unscented, cheap, exceedingly liquid sample from the hotel - and poured it on his palm.

Spencer held out his hands in a cup-like shape as if waiting for Derek to give him a share of the gel. He looked up at him and arched a brow.

The genius rolled his eyes. "If you don't provide me with something to do I'm gonna seriously fall asleep in here."

Derek nodded and complied. "Lame excuse."

"For what?" the other asked like he didn't know when actually he knew.

"For laying your hands on me?" Derek teased with his 'you can't fool me' tone. "But I ain't complaining, just so we're clear..." he smirked.

After that, Spencer gave up on countering further but his expression didn't waver much; and Derek couldn't even relish in the satisfaction of holding that comment 100% accountable for the flush dyeing Spencer's chest and neck, because it could've very well been mostly due to the steam and hot water.

Both started spreading the gel onto each other's shoulders and necks and torsos, and Morgan wouldn't have managed to tear his gaze away from the skinny man sat in front of him even if he'd purposely tried. Spencer's concentrated expression was the same whether he was solving Schrödinger's equation or he was stirring his coffee with a spoon.

Hazel eyes locked with Derek's after a while, only for a split second before their owner launched himself into his arms; a soapy hand cupping the back of his neck and a warm muzzle burying in his slippery shoulder.

Derek didn't question and simply indulged in the hug, tracing circles with his thumbs on the nubs of Spencer's spine as he let his cheek lean against the top of his head.

"Thank you." a muffled whisper breached through the continuous noise of water thrumming on ceramic and glass and steel surfaces.

"Stop thanking me, kid. I love you." how many times had Morgan found himself saying those exact words, if maybe arranged in different fashions, throughout 5 years of working with Reid? Only difference was that the last bit hadn't always born the meaning it bore now. Almost, though.

After one or two minutes more - Derek couldn't quite gauge, and the fact that Spencer most definitely could brought a slight smile to his lips - Reid let go of the hug; and it was only because being soaked from head to toe blurred out things a little that Morgan couldn't swear the man was a second away from crying.

Reid looked down at his wrinkly finger pads.

"We're wasting an unnecessary amount of water." he said with a small grin curling one edge of his mouth. If Spencer's previous expression rendered almost unreadable by that soaked-head-to-toe situation hadn't been enough to go by, his current tone and the look that went along with it surely were.

However, Morgan didn't mention it, and the couple spent the rest of the shower rinsing the bubbles off of their bodies in soothing quiet.

-

The comfortable quiet kept going unhindered as Derek helped Spencer up and out of the shower, as he wrapped a towel around his bony hips, as Spencer brushed his dripping hair with a wooden comb while watching the standing man put on his sweats and t-shirt. Their exchanges merely fond glances here and hands caressing cheeks there and fingers bumping on skins like silent reminders that they were together in this just as much as in everything else that might come in their way and break them, whether inside or out or both it didn't matter as long as they were Spencer and Derek and Derek and Spencer.

And so together they walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, both pleasantly surprised by how they managed to not let Spencer slip on the steam-coated floor.

In a matter of minutes he was sitting on the edge of the mattress, which wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as sitting on the crappy stool or the toilet lid, much to Spencer's relief.

And Spencer Reid was notoriously not one to count his chickens before they'd hatched, but this time...

"Oh baby...does it still hurt so bad?" Morgan asked with full-on worry creasing his handsome features, at the sight of his boyfriend screwing his eyes shut and clenching his jaw while his leg bounced up and down - the leg not injured, that is. He'd caught Spencer doing that sometimes during work and he'd quickly figured it was his way to cope with pangs.

Spencer simply nodded his head frantically and grabbed both the man's hands to squeeze them in a knuckle-whitening clutch.

His boyfriend's sigh was so deep Spencer didn't need to actually see to picture the rising and falling of his chest as visible to the naked eye.

"I'm gonna get the pills the doctor prescribed you and I don't wanna hear you complain." the man asserted.

The second Reid felt him on the verge of standing up, he squeezed his hands even tighter and made an effort to open his eyes.

"No, nonono I- I took it 2 and a half hours ago I can't take anymore for another hour and a half at least." he protested, shaking his head vigorously and staring pleadingly at him.

Morgan sighed again, and this time Reid could see it.

"Ok, alright, then...did you bring that ointment he gave you?"

Spencer's pupils fidgeted around in thought.

"Yeah. Y- yeah, I- I have that in my bag." he replied, stuttering with the abruptness of his realization.

Derek stood up for real now, fetching said ointment.

He came back a minute later and resumed his kneeling position, squeezing some of the balm on his fingers and warming it up by rubbing his hands. He started massaging it onto his boyfriend's knee, and the heavy mass weighing on his chest was lifted like magic when Spencer's muscles relaxed and his deadly grip on the blankets loosened.

Another 'thank you' was about to escape Spencer's mouth, but then he opted to swallow it and instead relish in the sensation of Derek's thumbs rubbing the slick balm in circles at either side of his wounded kneecap; watching him as though if he didn't keep an eye on him he would disappear.

He didn't know how much time had passed, because that was one of those few occasions he'd allowed himself not to keep count of things - most of those occasions were the ones he spent with Derek - but it must have been quite a while because by the time Derek spoke up again, the pain had melted away and his knee was glistening and warm and his heart was fuzzy and vibrating inside his ribcage.

"Better?" the man asked.

Spencer waited a second for him to raise his gaze from the task at hand and direct it toward his, and for the smile that he knew was coming to actually come, before answering.

When that happened, he said: "Definitely."

And if Derek's grin didn't widen it was just because it couldn't get bigger than half of his face, and because it had to be a crime to smile more brightly than that.

"Alright then. Gonna get cleaned up and then I'll help you with pj's."

Spencer opened his mouth to dismiss his offer but was immediately cut off by a finger raised threateningly at him.

"Nope. I don't wanna hear it, I told you." Derek reprimanded before heading to the bathroom.

-

The few minutes Morgan spent washing his hands and pacing around the room to get the other's t-shirt and flannel pants were enough for the warm and fuzzy feeling to seep out of Reid's skin and be replaced by unsettling thoughts he never enjoyed wallowing in, but especially not in that moment.

It was exactly that same feeling from earlier reoccurring to him, the feeling that if he let Derek out of his sight for a second he would lose him - more specifically Derek would leave him. And of course during work the time they spent apart was much more than the one they spent together, but in a working context it was simply...different. Different in a way Spencer couldn't name. It was when they were alone that the feeling came back to choke him with its evil claws; and it was such a foreign one considering that Reid had spent most of his childhood AND adulthood alone, so one would simply guess he was used to it. Maybe it was exactly that: that he'd got so used to being alone he couldn't help but cling onto the first thing that made him not alone, and if in the beginning that thing had been his team and later on the team stopped being enough and it became Dilaudid, now that thing was Derek, and Derek was more than enough for the time being - Spencer was pretty confident he would be enough for the rest of his life, but what if it weren't mutual ? What if Spencer wasn't enough for Derek - for that matter, how could Spencer be enough for anyone? What if Derek left ?

"-encer? Baby you good in there?"

Then what would the next thing be and would a 'next thing' even exist or should he just settle for being alone all over again, only this time he would know the feeling of NOT being alone - would he ever recover from that?

"Hey, kid, c'mon now,"

Could he forget what it had felt like not being alone and learn to suffice for himself?

"Spencer seriously, talk to me ?"

Could Spencer Reid learn to finally FORGET if forgetting meant surviving?

"Spencer, come on baby you're starting to scare me here."

Reid ultimately managed to snap out of his head and realize Morgan had been trying to pull him out of it all along. He felt a hand cradling his jaw and words reaching his eardrums and his name being called in endless sequence.

He shook his head and gaped for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I'm- I'm here, sorry I- just, I was...thinking, I'm sorry..." he swallowed and jerked his eyes away from Derek's because the look he was giving him was a bit too much.

Morgan released a heavy exhale, as his hand shifted to rest on the back of Reid's head, massaging his nape to ground him again.

"Sorry."

"Don't start. Just tell me what you were thinking."

A grimace of reluctance crinkled Spencer's sweet face. "...do I have to?"

"Yes." Derek asserted. "Puppy-eyes won't work this time."

Spencer bit his lip to contain a lopsided, amused smile.

"Well," he shrugged. "it was worth the shot."

Derek snorted in response, visibly relaxing at having managed to reclaim their usual playful banter.

The other man was grateful that Morgan hadn't pried, instead reaching a hand out beside the spot where Spencer was sitting to grab his fresh pair of briefs. The warm-fuzzy feeling partially found its way back through Spencer's bloodstream at the thought that Derek probably knew by now how he was more likely to talk brake-free and open heartedly when he wasn't being overtly pressured to do so.

-

Derek carefully untucked the towel from around Spencer's hips and rose to a half-standing position to prop him up a few inches from the bed and slide it away from underneath him. He helped the man's long legs inside his underwear and lifted him once again to pull it up; he took the slightly moist towel and used it to ruffle Spencer's hair in the attempt to wipe it dry a little - again: a cold wasn't the greatest idea at the moment - gaining his signature nose scrunch and finally, Spencer started spilling.

"I was thinking about this whole...situation." Reid murmured with a sigh.

Morgan considered his words for a few seconds - uncaring of having probably given the man the impression that he wasn't listening - while minutely un-messing the strands of brunette, damp hair he'd messed up with the towel and adjusting them behind Spencer's ears.

"Meaning?" he asked at last; more to give the man the liberty of elaborating how he wanted than because he hadn't picked up on the 'situation' he was referring to.

"Meaning...you taking on Hotch's role temporarily ?" Spencer supplied, raising his pitch at the end as though it were a question.

"What about it, sweetie?" he urged on gently, stopping his ministrations to rub his hands up and down Spencer's sides affectionately.

"I, uh..." Reid cleared his voice. "I just realized that- well, m- maybe it's that I didn't want to think about it so that's why I'm realizing it only now but, anyway; I realized that if...if Hotch isn't coming back..." he trailed off, looking down at his knees.

Derek took the hint and started moving again, picking Spencer's flannel pants and guiding his feet inside them.

Spencer waited for the lift-and-pull-up part to be over - because it was too draining to do that AND talk simultaneously - before conjuring his train of thought again.

"If Hotch doesn't come back, you'll be the new Unit Chief." Reid said, once he was sitting down.

Morgan hesitated, furrowing his brows in confusion as to why Reid would feel the need to state the obvious.

"Yeah." he simply confirmed.

Spencer visibly refrained from explaining, choosing to spend the next few seconds picking at the worn fabric of his pajama pants - now that he wasn't naked anymore and finally had something to fiddle with - sticking uncomfortably to the layer of ointment covering his knee.

As per usual, Morgan's brain was struggling to keep up with his boyfriend's pondering.

But then it hit him.

"Oh..." Derek dropped his gaze; his confused and apprehensive expression fading away to make space for a melancholic and apologetic one.

"...yeah" Spencer murmured. But then decided that a monosyllabic answer wasn't enough, and opted to unfold his thoughts more clearly.

"It means that...that you'll be our superior- my superior, hence we couldn't...you and I, we, we won't be allowed to..." he gulped. He knew his bottom lip was trembling. He could feel it. But he had to say it, or else the concept would eat him alive.

"...to be together anymore. Right?" Spencer concluded with a quivering voice.

Derek wanted to get back to doing what he was supposed to be doing to give them both some more seconds to digest that, but for some reason he feared that if he'd proceeded to help Spencer in his last piece of clothing, the man would've looked even more vulnerable and small in that saggy t-shirt than he did now that he was bare in any sense of the word in front of him.

So he slowly brushed his hands down Spencer's lap to entangle them with his.

"...unless I choose not to." he mumbled.

The genius' scowling glance shot up.

"What?? No. No, I won't let you do that."

Morgan sighed, tilting his head. "Spencer-"

"No, Derek. I couldn't live with myself knowing that you turned down the greatest job opportunity of your life to stay with me."

And that much was the truest statement Spencer had ever made, even if the only thought of breaking up with Derek made every cell in his body ache and his heart bleed out and his bones shatter like a china cup dropping on a granite floor.

Derek stared at him for a while with flat-out disbelief pasted on his face.

"Spencer," he started, and immediately shook his head, unable to contain a snort. Spencer's frown didn't but intensify at that.

"Kid, look. I know that you'd respect my decision to accept the job. I know it because you're one of the most ambitious and over-achieving people I know and I feel nothing but blessed to have someone like you by my side." he paused. "You inspire me in that sense, you know?"

Spencer didn't answer, but his gaze softened instinctively.

"But it's because I know you respect everything I do that I'd be disappointed to know that you made the exception to NOT support me if I decided to turn down the offer."

The words hit Spencer in a certain spot at the base of his skull, but he couldn't bring himself to be ungrateful for Derek being so honest and blunt about the matter.

So he nodded.

Derek continued, because he wasn't convinced at all that the man had got the message.

"And believe me when I say that the reason why I wouldn't accept it isn't because I pity you or I don't wanna leave 'poor Spencer' alone or whatever." he made the air-quote gesture and untangled a hand from Spencer's to bring it to his cheek.

"It's because to me accepting a title that by the way, I'm not even 100% sure that I want, it's not worth leaving the person I'm in love with."

With that last bit, Derek didn't need to forcibly bring his boyfriend's chin up to meet his eyes - Spencer had instantly done that on his own initiative.

"I would NOT be able to leave you, Spencer. For my sake, not out of pity. I know myself." he whispered, stroking his thumb on the other's cheek.

Spencer kept returning the other's stare for what they both perceived like 30 minutes, in search for the slightest hint of lie in Derek's eyes. Which, obviously, he gladly failed to summon.

So he inched closer and pressed their lips together, because kissing Derek seemed like the easier way to both reply to his confession and stop his bottom lip from trembling with the force of emotion welling up in his eyes.

Derek's mouth went along as his arms encircled his boyfriend's dainty frame to carefully shift him closer, until his body was the only thing keeping him from falling off the mattress. He captured every silky motion of Spencer's tongue with unmatched slowness; as if the more thorough the kiss, the better he could savor the man's unspoken words and enshrine them forever in his mind, only fueling his already unarguable conviction that no, he couldn't let this man slip away like it wasn't him that kept Derek's lungs breathing and his heart pounding and his limbs working.

-

With one last smack of lips Spencer gasped out of the kiss, keeping their foreheads glued together and his eyes shuttered because it was clear now that he didn't need to see the man to know he wouldn't leave, but his skin couldn't do without the feeling of Derek's against it nonetheless.

Slowly, he opened his lids and noticed the pair of pitch-black eyes in front of his were staring at him.

He smiled when he spotted a bright glimmer deep inside them, and was returned with a smile of Derek's own.

"Plus," Morgan's hoarse voice gently poked through the silence, as both his hands rose to cup the other's face.

"I know we shouldn't profile each other and all that, but dad really doesn't know what to do with himself when he's not with us, so my money's on him coming back." he joked.

Spencer burst in the prettiest giggle Derek had ever heard and let his head fall onto the other's shoulder.

"Y-yeah, mine too." he agreed once he'd recomposed himself enough to straighten in his seat again.

"Let's put this t-shirt on and go to sleep, uh?" Derek offered.

The genius nodded, and in a matter of 5 minutes at most, the two were a mess of entangled limbs - both injured and not - instants away from falling asleep; with a few less doubts stinging their hearts and just as many newfound strings keeping them together.

[cyn-00]

“You are my family” for moreid pretty please if you feel like it. Thank you

This prompt will never get boring it's so soft <3 btw I kinda have already written a fic months ago that touched on this topic (my 13th one shot if I remember correctly), so I'm gonna try and slightly switch it up ;) this is n. 14 from fluff btw!

Prompt list (requests currently closed)

Read it on AO3

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The jet had been quiet for at least an hour. Everyone except for Reid had seemingly long fallen asleep, and they would arrive at Quantico in 30 minutes at most - 27 minutes, the genius gauged.

He really had no more excuses to further procrastinate what he'd been meaning to tell Morgan for the past three weeks. Now or never.

Spencer lifted his eyes from the book he'd been pointlessly holding in his hands since they took off and looked up at his very much asleep boyfriend, still wearing his beloved headphones.

He swallowed. "Derek?"

No answer.

Reid leaned forward just enough to be able to easily reach the man's crossed arms with his hand. He brushed his fingers on his forearm to avoid startling him.

"Der?" he repeated in a lower and more intimate tone.

Derek slightly winced and instinctively scratched his arm where the other's finger pads had ghosted over it.

"Mm' yeah?" he mumbled in response, rubbing his eyes and taking off his headphones as he straightened in the seat.

"I'm- I'm sorry I woke you but I, uh... I really have to ask you something ?"

Morgan leaned in to rest his forearms on his knees under the tray table; the mild wobbling in the other's voice having piqued his interest.

"What's that, baby?" he said softly, ignoring the unneeded apology - purposely or not, Derek himself couldn't quite figure out.

Spencer nodded shortly and took a couple of deep breaths. He eyed down again at the forgotten book and closed it at last, settling it atop the small table and running his fingertips on its leather-coated spine.

"I was wondering if..." he let out another shaky sigh. "...if you'd like to move in with me?"

'Caught off guard' would be the most blatant euphemism to describe Morgan's reaction in response to the question. He tried to limit the external display of such to a gulp and an arching of eyebrows, while inside his heart almost jumped out of his chest.

Before answering, he reached out to place his palm over the boy's jittery hand on top of the book cover.

Spencer brought his eyes back to him.

"Yeah." he replied at last, grinning widely. "I'd really like that, pretty boy."

Spencer ducked his head again to look at their hands; a few curls falling before his face from where they were tucked behind his ears, barely hiding one of the biggest smiles Derek had ever seen gracing his lips.

Morgan stroked the other's knuckles with his thumb. "Honestly, I thought you were gettin' tired of me after spending all day together at work." he joked - not actually joked, though.

Reid lifted his chin to look at him, re-adjusting his brunette locks where they were supposed to have stayed in the first place.

He hesitated a few seconds and eventually scrunched his nose playfully, shaking his head. "Not possible."

Derek's smile grew into a chuckle as he tilted his head.

During the brief silence, Spencer's gaze reunited with the other's fingers tracing unknown patterns on the back of his hand.

"Oh! Right-" the genius mumbled to himself as he remembered something, removing his hand from under Derek's to pat the pockets of his jacket in search for a specific object.

Morgan's pupils chased his boyfriend's clumsy motions with a slightly amused frown.

Spencer took out of his left pocket what he'd been looking for, placing it on the tray table: a key.

The man's eyes glanced in between that and Reid's face a couple times, before finally picking it up to scrutinize it as if it were the most interesting key he'd ever seen - it was, sort of. In a metaphorical way.

"...you made a copy before knowing what I'd answer?" he dared to ask.

The man in front of him merely shrugged. "Call it profiling ?" he said, a funny but cute expression crinkling his features.

Morgan snorted briefly before starting to gradually drift into a more serious state of mind; a couple minutes of quiet hanging gingerly in between him and Reid.

"I also thought..." he prompted to get the other's attention. "that I'd have to ask you at some point."

His boyfriend didn't seem to get the hint.

"I didn't think you'd ever get to be comfortable enough to share your spaces with me." Derek explained, careful not to sound accusing.

Spencer considered the man's statement for a while.

"I didn't think either." he agreed, unexpectedly. "Honestly it doesn't bother me only when it's my mom...or you guys..." the genius' voice got lower by the second.

"...my family." he concluded, smiling bashfully.

Derek chose not to reply just yet; his gaze softening visibly whereas on the other hand Spencer's dropped, concentrating on how to phrase what he wanted to phrase.

"...you are my family, Derek." he whispered at last. If Spencer's knees holding his clasped hands in place were succeeding to keep them from trembling, his voice on the contrary was helplessly failing at remaining steady throughout those 5, simple words.

Morgan stayed silent once again, merely reaching a hand above the table separating them to lift his boyfriend's chin and lightly bump an index on his nose; knowing that, when Spencer opened his heart to him, he needed reassurance and unspoken proof that Derek was listening more than actual words.

Reid was now able to keep at bay the quivering in his hands and voice both.

"...I know you can't really consider me...your family, because you have your mom and sisters and- and probably a bunch of other relatives, but for me..." he trailed off, lowering his gaze once again. "...my- my dad was never family to me...and my mom can't always function enough to...to feel like a mother and- o- of course I cannot blame her for it! But you...you always felt like family, now more than ever but honestly even before...you know, before this ?"

Spencer paused to catch a glimpse of the other's expression, trying to fathom if he'd picked up on what he meant with 'this'.

Even once the man nodded, Reid somehow felt a million other things surfacing to the forefront of his mind right in that moment, things he knew he didn't need to voice but were escaping him before he could grasp onto them.

"I'm infinitely grateful that I have you in my life." he murmured. "even if I'm not exactly sure what...what I did to deserve you." Spencer added in a witty, sheepish snort.

Morgan shook his head, at this point unable to keep himself from speaking up and cupping the man's cheek in his hand.

"Baby, stop saying things like that," he paused, stroking Spencer's cheekbone with a thumb as if feeling the need to ease down the mild harshness that had possibly accompanied his tone.

"and don't ever assume that just because I have a full family you count less than them."

Derek was expecting a nod at best and a self-denigrating retort at worst, what he was surely not expecting from his boyfriend was to shoot up from his seat to make his way around the tray table and sit beside him, hurling himself into his arms in a matter of 3 seconds.

Of course he more than happily hugged the boy back and dug his fingers in his curls, because it was only natural; however Derek didn't bother hiding a slightly surprised reaction - Spencer never liked to display affection even during the flights home, when the team were sleeping 9 times out of 10. To push himself to do such gesture Morgan reckoned that what he said must have really struck him, and his caught-off-guard state quickly became one overflowing with feeling honored and touched.

He was brought out of his thoughts when Spencer slightly loosened the clench of his arms around his torso and nosed his neck, releasing a deep breath.

"So...we're going to your place then?" Derek's question wedged a narrow gap in between their bodies.

Spencer tilted his chin up to meet his eyes shortly before laying small pecks on the corners of the man's lips and Cupid's bow and chin.

Morgan lightly giggled both at his boyfriend for being that level of adorable, and at himself for having managed to meet his lips only once at most.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Mh-mh," Spencer hummed into the last of several kisses. "Yep."

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 9 - "stay"

Season 9, episodes 23/24 "Angels" and "Demons" (the ones where Reid gets shot in the neck *cries*, while the team are chasing a guy - a preacher, to be precise - who was framed by the unsub. In the episode they will eventually find the real unsub)

Long ass one. Idk what nerve drives me to call these fics "shots" when most of em are +4000 words. Note: Reid always has long hair in my fics, regardless of the season I took inspiration from

As per usual: edited this months after I first wrote it. My fics are perennial works in progress

Read it on AO3

-------------

"Blake!! " Morgan screamed with all his voice, running toward her and Reid as fast as he could - considering he got shot - pressing a hand on his wounded bicep.

One of his ears was beeping because of the gun shots - 3 out of 4 bullets hit his vest - and he was feeling light-headed from the fall. Not to mention the pain his arm was causing him. But in that moment, it was like his body had forgotten about the soreness and discomfort because his mind was only focused on Reid- no, Spencer. His Spencer.

"Blake-" he called her again, now that he'd got just a few feet from them.

He quickly fell down to his knees and put his hand on Spencer's neck, replacing Alex's. She moved aside without protesting, still sitting on the ground.

"I- I'm- I'm so sorry." she hiccuped on the verge of crying, shaking her head to dizziness while she looked down at her bloody hand; not sure if she was apologizing to Spencer or to Derek.

Morgan didn't answer, but not because he thought it was her fault: how could he? They all would take a bullet - and had taken bullets - to save each other. There was simply no time for apologies in that moment.

"We need an ambulance!" she repeated to her radio transceiver, even though at least 10 minutes had passed since she had first called for help.

"Alright- kid, you gotta stay with me now" Derek ordered, breathing heavily.

Despite the other's pleads, Spencer had almost completely lost consciousness; his mouth hung open, his eyes suddenly rolled back.

"No, nonono no" Derek panted loudly. "Baby please don't-"

His pupils desperately roamed his peripherals, searching for something with which he could pat Spencer's wound to minimize the blood loss, since clearly his hand wasn't enough.

"W-what do you need?" Alex asked, seeing Derek looking around aimlessly; but he seemed too spaced out to answer. "Talk to me Morgan, how can I help?!"

"I-I need something to pat the wound, I don't know some kind of cloth-" he said, panic possessing him.

The only thing Alex could think of, without having to go too far and waste anymore time, was Spencer's tie. She messily reached over, managing to snatch it from underneath his vest - though not without struggling - and untying it. She then slid it out of the collar of Spencer's button-up and folded it, having the hardest time accomplishing even such simple tasks with how bad her hands were shaking. She handed it to Morgan who, without complaining or questioning, placed it on the wound and started pressing again.

Spencer was slowly slipping on the ground from his half-sitting position, with his back leaning on one of the SUVs. Derek wrapped his free, not injured arm around him from under his armpit as securely as he could, and tried to lift him up a little, to help him breathe. He did his best, straining against his own pain and the pressure he had to keep applying on the other man's wound.

Luckily, that was enough to bring him back. Spencer swallowed intensely and gasped, before starting to mumble incomprehensibly. Derek kept both his hands firmly wrapped around his neck, to try and keep his head from hanging on either side.

"Ok this is good, keep your eyes on m- hey, eyes on me" he kept saying, trying to keep him awake; once, twice, dozens of times again and again and again like a mantra; only rearranging the words slightly each time; calling his name - Spencer, kid, baby, stay with me, don't, please, I need you here, come on-

Wait. Stop. Spencer looked like he was trying to say something.

"What? What is it, kid? Talk to me, say whatever- just whatever stay awake for me please" Derek begged him, his voice starting to get too shaky to handle. The ambulance hadn't arrived yet but, even though he had lost a lot of blood, Reid managed to stay somewhat conscious, which must have been a good sign: Morgan thought, trying not to let his mind go to dark places.

"I-" Spencer started to say something, then coughed.

He coughed blood. Everything Derek had been thinking to try and keep his hopes high went to nothing.

Derek started to feel sick. Sick like all the organs in his body were stuck in a million tight knots; and his lungs seemed slowly filling up with cement; and his eyes felt as if an uncountable number of needles were piercing through them; and his limbs were being crushed into ash by a hammer. 

"Oh God..." Alex whispered; her brain was like electrocuted and rendered unable to come up with anything more to keep Reid awake than she'd already come up with earlier, while Morgan was still chasing the preacher before coming to help.

Spencer reached for Derek's arm with his weak hand.

"I- I love you-" he finally managed to murmur with a hint of a lopsided smile, as if relief had washed over him the second he'd let out those words. His eyes were open in mere slits, looking at somewhere around Derek's face with an odd glimmer that the other man couldn't quite place because he'd never seen before.

"No, don't- don't say that, c'mon yo-" Derek barely said, choking halfway. "-you can say that to me later, Spencer..." his words faded away, as he shook his head in denial and the first of many tears to come fell down his cheek. He shut his eyes close in the attempt to avoid that, pressing his forehead against Spencer's while trying not to lose the grip on his neck.

"Please stay awake, please, please, please..." he begged through gritted teeth, once his sobs had somehow managed to slightly quiet down.

-

Suddenly, from far away, the sirens of an ambulance could be perceived amongst a million other noises, seeped out by the two agent's ears because they weren't the ones that mattered in that moment.

Alex quickly hopped on her feet and jogged toward the side of the street, waving and screaming like a maniac at the ambulance to make it quicker for the medics to find them.

"You hear that?? The ambulance is here kid, you gotta resist just a little more alright? Can you- can you do that for me??" Derek straightened up a little and said, well aware that he wasn't quite talking to Spencer anymore.

The other man mumbled something, not as a sign that he understood what was going on, rather that he was hearing Derek telling him things, saying words, making sounds.

He saw the figures of two medics along with Alex walking fast toward them, carrying a gurney. One of them got down and took Derek's place in soccurring Spencer; the former couldn't find a valid reason to protest when he was frantically shoved away off of him.

"Agent, are you injured?" the other one asked, gathering that the blood splattered on his bicep was most likely his own and not the other man's.

"I-I'm fine, the bullet didn't even hit me it just scratched me- I'm not the one who needs help, please! And- wait he- he doesn't take narcotics, please that's REALLY important-" Morgan yelped in response, still in shock, finding difficult to even put his words together clearly.

She only seemingly ignored his continuous whining - albeit rightful - but in actuality took in all that information, quickly examining his injury.

"I see what you mean, you got lucky. Still, it could get infected, so you're coming with us right now." she concluded in a rush, immediately turning around to help her colleague lay Spencer on the gurney.

While hurrying toward the ambulance, Derek saw Alex getting back to Hotch and Rossi. Aaron turned around, his eyes met Derek's.

He nodded at him from afar, a look on his face that said: "do what you have to do."

-

- later at the hospital

-

Derek had been sitting on that uncomfortable chair for at least 2 hours, in the waiting room of the hospital.

-

As soon as they'd got off the ambulance, they had rushed Spencer to surgery: during the drive he'd lost consciousness completely and started mumbling things that made no sense, nearing aphasia. From the second they'd taken him to the OR, Morgan hadn't been able to say anything, shell-shocked and numbed down by his brain as a defense mechanism.

Earlier, while the nurse was bandaging his arm in the Emergency Room and kept asking if he felt any pain, if he had fallen and hit his head when he'd got shot, if he was feeling dizzy; he just nodded or responded "I don't know". She'd even asked him what had happened to "his friend" at a certain point, to try and catch his attention: was she even aware that she was talking to a profiler? He couldn't even remember if he'd effectively shown her his badge.

-

It was probably more than 2 hours, he thought when he saw Hotch coming in.

Morgan looked up at him, finally shifting his eyes away from the floor. He didn't say anything, barely able to stare at him with a confused expression.

"I can't stay long." Hotch stated.

Silence.

"...what do you mean?" that was probably the first actual, sensible phrase Derek had pronounced since he'd got into that damned hospital.

Aaron sighed. "The others wanted to come, but I can't let them get distracted from the case, so I came here to check on you in person. It's the only way I got them to agree to stay at the station and keep working."

Derek finally understood what he meant; the cogs in his brain processing the situation with a concerning delay. He arched his eyebrows and rubbed his face with his palm, as if something Hotch said had awakened him all of a sudden.

"I thought you were here because the case was over" Derek snorted, shaking his head in a silent self-scolding.

"I- I don't know how I could think that..." he added, hunching on himself with his elbows dug in his sore knees.

"How long have you been waiting here?" Aaron asked after a few seconds, shooting him a concerned and squinting glance.

Derek briefly checked his wristwatch. "Since midnight, I think."

It was almost 3 am.

Hotch knew he couldn't ask him to swap and go get some air while he stayed there; he would've never accepted and it was only understandable. Plus, it wouldn't do any of them any good: he would be stuck in the hospital while the team needed him on the case. But he couldn't just leave him like that, what kind of teammate would he be?

"Alright." he sighed deeply. "I'm gonna wait here with you." he asserted, sitting down next to him and picking out the phone from his pocket, to inform the others by text.

Morgan scowled, as his head shot up. "No Hotch c'mon, it's already bad that I'm not working, you- you gotta get back, I'm gonna call you whenever I know something anyway-"

"I'm gonna stay until he's out of surgery and I know you both are ok." Hotch cut him off, without an inch of reconsideration in his voice. "Cause you're clearly not thinking straight right now." he concluded, searching deep in the other man's eyes for some sort of outraged reaction to his accusation, even being well aware that Derek had to be told by someone. And Hotch always seemed to be the one designated for that role.

Morgan faced down to stare at the blue linoleum floor again. After some seconds, he nodded silently, gulping to try and make that lump in his throat go away.

He realized that type of reaction wasn't normal for him. It almost never, ever happened to him to corner himself within his own head and turn to silent mode, in these kind of situations. He was usually the type to remain lucid - of course heating up and pacing around restlessly and punching things and cursing through clenched jaws; nonetheless lucid : interacting with the things and places and people surrounding him, letting himself feel whatever he had to feel and letting other people see it. Acting like he was acting in that moment, that just wasn't him. That could be JJ at times or...or Spencer. His Spencer.

-

After another 20 minutes of waiting in complete silence - which were nothing, compared to the 3 hours Derek had already waited - the doctor entered the crowded room. And Derek didn't even notice.

He was still sitting, eyeing blankly at the portion of floor in between his combat boots. He couldn't hear anything but his paranoid thoughts, not even the general noise and buzz of people's voices - let alone the doctor's footsteps.

Hotch instinctively stood up from the chair.

"Morgan-" he said, tapping on his shoulder.

Derek looked up at him distractedly, raising his brows. Aaron pointed at the doctor approaching them, right behind him.

He immediately got up as well and turned around; once again taking a second too many to process what was happening. He started to feel all the pressure again, heart pounding in his chest to deafness, palms oozing sweat, the knot in his larynx forming once again - for the fourth time at least that night, if one had to keep count.

"How is he?" he asked impatiently, taking for granted that he was even...alive.

"He got very lucky. The bullet didn't hit one of the major arteries just by half an inch or so." the doctor answered, calmly and reassuringly. "The excellent job you did at minimizing the blood loss on the scene was surely a determining factor." he spoke directly to Derek now, smiling widely.

Relief washed over the two agents, whose shoulders slumped and lungs released audible sighs.

"Can we see him right away?" Derek questioned further, hopeful.

"Yes, absolutely, but you have to consider that he's lost a lot of blood and stayed unconscious for quite a while. So it might take him some time to wake up from the anesthesia. Plus, he has to rest well, of course."

"Thank you." was all Derek managed to say, with watery eyes and trembling voice barely coming out of his mouth - but he really did mean it.

Aaron shook the doctor's hand, equally thankful, and quickly picked his phone out of his pocket.

"I'm calling the others right now. You go." Hotch ordered with his usual firmness and loyalty, which he maintained even in such tense situations; giving him a complicit look.

Derek simply nodded in response, infinitely grateful.

-

He opened the door of Spencer's room quietly, having acknowledged that he was still sleeping.

It was early morning; a faint, cold-hued light filtered through the blinds of the window. Derek couldn't see much, if not the outlines of some pieces of furniture and - most importantly - Spencer's shape lying on the bed. And that was more than enough for the moment being.

A gasp hitched halfway to his lungs, and his heart started beating with such intensity it could crack his sternum open, and his eyes prickled with tears of joy.

Morgan quietly grabbed the chair in the corner of the room and placed it beside the bed. He wanted to hug him so bad, but couldn't bring himself to wake him up; so he just sat there for a while, looking at him, at how the dim light enveloped his peacefully sleeping features and created weird shadows on his wrinkled hospital gown - for a second, he couldn't refrain from realizing that he looked beautiful even in that sloppy piece of clothing, with his tangled mop of hair sprawled all over the pillow.

Morgan reached out for the man's hand to lightly stroke his knuckles with the pads of his fingers. As soon as he did that, a single tear managed to part from the puddle heaped up before his pupils and trail down his cheek, falling down to sink into the cotton fabric of the blanket; not sure if that was due to the relief of being able to sense the warmth of Spencer's hand, or just because he was exhausted; or both.

Derek figured he wasn't gonna wake up any sooner if he stared at him for hours: he gave in to the impulse of resting his temple on his folded arms, over the bed, careful not to touch Spencer.

And he fell asleep.

-

- 4 hours later (7 am ca.)

-

Spencer opened his eyes. He felt wobbly, like he was caged in a glass bubble, and his neck hurt like hell, for lack of a term powerful enough.

He looked around and saw Derek, sitting beside the mattress with his head resting on the bed, sleeping. A disarmed smile played at the corners of his lips: of course he knew he would find him there, but quite frankly he didn't expect him to fall asleep like that.

He reached out to him with a hand, a little shaky from the weakness, and gently caressed his cheek, not sure if he wanted him to wake up or not. After all, he had no idea how much - or how little - sleep he managed to get; still: he needed to hear his voice and see that smile of his as much as he needed oxygen in his lungs.

Derek startled awake with a gasp, straightening up in his seat and checking his watch. It took him a while to notice that Spencer's hand was what had woken him up.

Then he saw him.

"Spencer-" he whispered and instantly stood up from the chair to sit on the bed beside him, stroking his forehead with a thumb.

Spencer suddenly realized Derek's arm was bandaged.

"W-what happened to you?" were his first words, hoarse and cracky; as he tried to prop himself up a little to half-sit on the bed.

"Nothing baby, bullet scratched me. How are YOU feeling? D'you want water or something? Jell-o?" the other asked, knowing exactly Spencer had a thing for Jell-o, not hesitating to brush off his unmotivated concern.

"No I'm fine, just...you should get back to the case, actually." Spencer said half-heartedly as reality hit him all of a sudden, making his smile fade away. He wanted him to stay, but on the other hand he knew keeping him there was only gonna slow down the team. They needed him more than he did - or at least, that's what he was trying to convince both himself AND Derek of.

"Nope. Not happening." the other dismissed, with a tone that left little to no space for protesting. He took Spencer's hand, lacing their fingers together.

His boyfriend gazed at him with puppy eyes. He should have expected that.

Derek sighed, cocking his head. "A'ight, look. They've probably already solved it by now. Best believe Hotch would've called me if it was necessary that I'd be there." he explained, reasonably. The point he was making was enough to ease down some of the guilt weighing on Spencer's chest for wishing he would stay.

"Plus," Derek continued, reaching his hand out to comb his fingers through Spencer's entangled curls. "I wouldn't be able to concentrate much right now anyway, pretty boy." he smiled at him.

Spencer giggled; the weight of his guilt now completely lifted off of his heart by Derek's smile - the brightest he'd ever seen, even being well aware of how much that whole chaos from last night must have drained him out. Only his Derek could.

"Come here" he then whispered, opening his arms, ready to melt into his hug.

Derek didn't wait another second to lean closer and wrap his strong arms around his boyfriend's skinny, temporarily fragile body; tight but not too tight, afraid to hurt him. He'd wanted to take him in his arms since the moment he opened the door and saw him, alive, 4 hours before. He released a content sigh, burying his face into Spencer's warm neck, where his nose was being slightly tickled by that soft hair - as per usual.

Spencer gently kissed Derek's temple, ignoring the fact that in doing so he would've inevitably had to tilt his neck in a hurtful way. Indeed:

"Shit-" he whispered as he pressed a hand on his bandaged neck, scrunching his muzzle in a grimace of pain but somewhat amused at the same time: he wondered if it was gonna feel like someone was twisting his throat everytime he tilted his head as little as an inch.

Derek carefully let go of the hug and placed his palm over Spencer's; his eyes revealing guilt and regret for having complied his request to hug him.

"Fuck- sorry about that, kid..."

While the other man's gaze was concentrated on his bandaged wound, Spencer's pupils fluttered around his features, displayed a few inches from his face.

"It's nothing, just kiss me." he murmured like he was in a rush, like he hadn't even thought for a second before spitting it out like that. Which was something he usually did only when he said awkward stuff - only to receive the "Reid, wtf" signature look in response.

He placed a hand behind Derek's head and pulled him closer impulsively, risking their teeth to collide.

Derek was definitely not expecting the man's warm tongue to push into his mouth like that, forcing him to part his lips way more widely than if it were just going to be the quick peck he was initially expecting it to be.

He wanted to draw Spencer even closer, but figured placing his hand on his jaw or - even worse - on his nape, would make him flinch in pain again, so he opted to wrap him back in his arms; one draped over his shoulders and the other tight around his waist.

Spencer gradually slowed down and eventually stopped, struggling to breathe evenly. He opened his eyes to stare dreamily into Derek's; still tied in each other's arms to keep their noses 3 inches apart at most.

He smiled in a sweet, silly way and laid a couple of quick kisses on both corners of Derek's mouth, making him helplessly smile too.

"I love you." Spencer murmured against the other's grinning lips. He had enough time to place on them only a couple more quick pecks, before his boyfriend managed to untangle from his limbs and pull back a little, laughing at how fucking adorable he was.

As he chuckled and put a few more inches between their faces, the memory of Spencer saying "I love you" the night before flashed back into his mind for a second. The jarring difference in how that same phrase was pronounced in those two diametrally opposed contexts made Derek feel things, not quite sure what things. Spencer most definitely couldn't remember saying it - his near unconscious state from last night overpowering his eidetic memory - though Derek recalled mumbling something among the lines of "you can say that to me later"... Anyway, he pushed those inconclusive thoughts away before they could ruin such a precious moment.

"Alright, alright, I would've gone to get you that Jell-o even without all this, you know?" he said, betraying his feigned indignation when he couldn't resist placing one last kiss on Spencer's Cupid's bow. "Or is this your apology for scaring the shit out of me and making me cry like a baby? Cause either way, it's working. You really ARE a magician, huh" he winked jokingly.

Spencer giggled and rolled his eyes. "Come on, it's not about the Jell-o!"

Derek let go of him altogether and stood up from the bed, before mocking him yet once more.

"Yeah, whatever. Imma go get that Jell-o, you stay here." as if he could actually get up and walk around the hospital, duh...

Spencer dropped his arms on the bed, as a sign of complaint. "Seriously though, I don't want Jell-o right now I- I want you ! Even if you bring it to me it's gonna stay exactly wherever you put it!" he tried to convince him not to leave the room, blushing as a result of having let "I want you" slip out like that.

Even if what Spencer said and the tone with which he said it and the face with which he said it were persuasive to say the least; Derek already had his hand on the door handle by then. He opened it and turned around toward Spencer one last time before getting out.

"I need an excuse to get out of here or Imma eat you alive, so you better thank me." he concluded with a glare and a smirk, playfully pointing a threatening finger at his boyfriend before finally closing the door behind him.

-

Spencer sighed in resignation, slowly returning to lie down on the mattress with his head on the pillow.

He stared at the ceiling and covered his eyes with his hand, smiling from ear to ear.

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 10 - "right now"

Season 11, episode 11 "Entropy" aka hands down one of the most beautiful episodes of the whole show Imho. (Idk I feel like this is such an iconic episode that you guys don't need me to remind you the plot but here we go: it's the one where Reid goes to dinner with Cat Adams, the most dangerous of the 4 hitmen targeting Garcia, pretending to be a husband who wants to get his wife killed. She figures that out and the team has to somewhat wing it. Specifically, she makes him confess that the reason he'd taken some time off work was because his mom was showing signs of Alzheimer's, and nobody on the team knew that. In the end Cat holds Reid at gunpoint so him and Morgan have to lie telling her that her father is right outside, in order to make her surrender)

SMUT! (= you can't read it here you have to follow the AO3 link. I know there's nothing wrong with posting nsfw stuff on Tumblr but still)

I really wanted to write some proper Moreid smut, I wanted it to be 1) hot, but also 2) loving, but also - most of all - 3) I ABSOLUTELY wanted to avoid it sounding like crappy cheap porn (I'm not saying I'm the best smut-writer out here!! Please! I'm acknowledging that writing sex scenes is very difficult). Note: the first dialogue between Reid and Cat isn't true to the show, if not for a couple of lines (cause it didn't make sense how it was in the show ? lmao)

I really hope you enjoy and confirm that I managed to fulfill these 3 goals, just remember it's my first smutty fic 👉👈... (I think I kinda did though?? *pat pat*) Update: I cheated. I basically re-wrote this months later so...if you still find it crappy, then I guess I have no excuse left :D

-------------

"Wait! Wait" Cat yelped, breathing nervously and sweating, to make Reid stop. He was walking her out of the restaurant in handcuffs, leading her into the van where her father was theoretically supposed to be; Morgan right behind them.

"Ok. I'm ready." she claimed. Reid started walking again, meeting Morgan's eyes, nodding at him with a slightly concerned expression.

Derek opened the back door of the van, clearly empty; the other silently helped her inside and made her sit, chaining her handcuffs to the bench before kneeling in front of her.

"You lied to me." she whispered, her face a few inches from Spencer's.

"But I didn't lie about looking for him." he said, as if feeling the need to justify himself.

"And you also didn't lie about your mom." she said, eyebrows raised and a smirk on her face. "I won." she added, with an emphasis that Spencer didn't quite understand.

"How so?" he frowned, afraid of the answer.

"Because I'll get out of here."

A mocking smile curved his lips. "Yeah. In 20 years, if you're lucky."

"And that's fine, you know why?" Cat waited a second, but didn't actually expect him to reply. "See, even if he has been a fucked up father, at least I will remember him, in 20 years. While you probably won't even remember your own mother." she concluded, staring straight into his eyes, a tear falling down her cheek.

Spencer didn't respond to that. His heart sank in his chest for a second, he gulped and quickly jumped off the van, striding away without even looking at the other man.

Derek hopped on the van and faced her, full of rage, clenching his jaw. Their noses 3 inches apart.

keep reading

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 6 - "way past that"

Season 7, episode 20 "The company" (the one where Derek finally finds his cousin Cindi after years she had been missing but her family had no proof of her death. At the very end, when Derek, his sister Sarah, his aunt, Cindi and her son finally gather and hug)

We love some unrequested long ass but hopefully not boring fic. Basically a follow-up to the episode, definitely not one of my best works...

Also bad news: I've just started season 8 which is the one where Reid has that thing going on with Maeve, so A) I'm gonna be depressed and frustrated for a whole ass season + B) there probably won't be any Moreid inspo here and there so I'm sorry but I probably won't write fics during this one :( I could still do some throwbacks to older seasons though, I'll see what my big (?) creative (?) brain can do

Read it on AO3

-------------

Reid was watching the scene through the blinds of the room him and the rest of the team were, chatting and finally relaxing while reordering their things, ready to go home.

He could clearly see, even from far away, that Morgan had teary eyes - but they weren't tears of sadness, nor anger. They were ones of joy and relief. Derek's aunt was hugging Cindi's kid, Derek was talking with his sister Sarah.

The young genius was totally immersed. He was so moved and happy that Morgan could finally let go of all the rage and uncomfort he had been burying inside for the past days - to be fair, those feelings had been there for months - he didn't even realize he was lopsidedly smiling to himself, like an idiot.

Everyone was getting out of the room with their hands full of stuff.

"You better pick your things up cause I wanna go home and sleep, and I'm pretty sure everyone agrees with me when I say that we won't regret leaving you here..." Emily said to him, jokingly.

"Yes ma'am, we do agree." Rossi responded.

"Mh mh." Reid mumbled, without shifting his eyes an inch from the view, barely hearing what the others were saying.

JJ sighed, resigned to the fact that he would probably be in there for another 30 minutes. "Alright. Bye Spence!"

-

The room was now empty. Reid saw Morgan looking at the team leaving, like he was awakened and brought back to the real world.

His eyes finally met Spencer's for just a split second, and in that moment Spencer immediately stopped looking, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing.

He coughed and clumsily stood up from the desk he was sitting on, starting to pick up his stuff with no specific order. Just to make it look like he had actually been doing something for the past 10 minutes, instead of watching Morgan like it was the most entertaining thing ever - it kinda was, to him. No matter the context.

Derek knew he had been looking all along. He simply didn't wanna look back at him, in the attempt to avoid drawing his sister's attention to Spencer as well.

Mission failed. 

"What you looking at?" Sarah asked after a few seconds of him being clearly distracted while she was talking.

Derek's eyes shifted back to her, raising his eyebrows and opening his mouth like he had something to say; but no valid excuse came out.

His sister turned around and saw it. She saw what had been distracting him for the past 5 minutes: Doctor Spencer Reid, sorting out his stuff in the other room. Now that the others had gone away leaving the doctor alone in there, there was nothing convincing enough Derek could say to dissuade her from gathering that he was looking at the pretty boy in the other room.

Reid looked up at the two for a second and waved at them, wearing his usual cute-kinda-awkward smile.

Sarah waved back, giggling at how geeky he was. "So...you gonna invite the guy over to dinner or something? Ever? In your lifetime?"

Derek sighed, still looking at Spencer. "I wish. It's not up to me, I don't think he'd be comfortable with that."

"C'mon why not? We've loved him since day one just like you did." she paused, recalling a memory she wasn't sure if sharing with her brother. She quickly decided on doing so.

"As a matter of fact, Desirée was the one who predicted something was up with you two just by the way you talked about him." she smirked.

"...I always talk about every member of my team. I talk about Penelope a lot. And Emily." Derek answered, frowning, like he took what his sister said as an accuse of some sort.

"Yeah, but that's different..." Sarah pointed out.

Derek didn't answer: she wasn't the first person telling him that he'd always talked about Spencer in a "different" way, since the beginning, when he hadn't even figured out his feelings for him yet. He'd come to the conclusion that he probably did that without even noticing.

There were a few seconds of silence - enough for her to notice that Derek had got back to looking at Spencer. She affectionately put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on. Go."

"I-I'm sorry sis, he's been trying to ignore me for the past two days on purpose cause I've been nervous all the time and I've been acting like a dick, honestly-"

"I know, I know, I imagined that. You owe him. We're fine." she gave him a kiss on the cheek and headed closer to her aunt and cousin, to intrude their conversation and give Derek a reason not to feel guilty about leaving her like that.

-

Morgan entered the room. Reid heard his footsteps but didn't - couldn't - turn around: he was stretching over the table to try and reach a pile of documents. He managed to pick it up and started to browse through the papers distractedly, while turning around to face him.

"You know, I was thinking that maybe-" He STARTED talking.

Derek cupped his boyfriend's face in his hands and kissed him impulsively, making Spencer breathe out a faint moan of surprise and chaotically put the files back on the desk right behind him. It took all of his physical strength and the remaining amount of attention he wasn't paying to that hot kiss not to just drop the files on the floor.

He wrapped his arms around Derek's waist and leaned closer. Without even thinking of how inappropriate that must have looked, his hands snaked under the other's t-shirt, lightly stroking his back.

The moment he felt Spencer's soft touch on his skin, Derek got goosebumps all over his body. He put a hand on the back of Reid's head, involuntarily messing his hair up, and started leaving quick kisses on his jaw and behind his ear. He knew that was a huge turn-on for him. Exactly the same way Spencer knew how huge of a turn-on was for Derek when he ran his fingers up and down his back - or abs; oh, the abs.

Spencer gasped, keeping his eyes shut. In the attempt of trying to stay on his feet, he put his hands behind him, trying to hold himself onto the edge of the desk.

Wrong move: his hands knocked off the pile of papers, spreading them all over the table and the floor. That was what - maybe luckily - interrupted the dynamic, which was clearly proceeding toward a not-suited-for-work direction.

Derek stopped teasing Spencer and rested his forehead on his, breathing heavily.

"...shit " Spencer whispered, chuckling.

"Maybe I should've closed the door." Derek said, shaking his head.

"And the blinds." Spencer added, nodding his chin toward Sarah, who immediately jerked her face the other way because she'd been caught peeking at them with the corner of her eye, from the lobby of the police dept. Derek snorted and shook his head - again.

Spencer sat on the desk, letting his feet wiggle 10 inches from the floor; still absent-mindedly looking at Derek's family through the blinds. He was sure that they had to get moving, but also didn't want one of the only moments of intimacy the two got during the day to end; even though said "moment of intimacy" eventually turned out to be Spencer yawning every 30 seconds, approximately.

Derek silently stared tilt-headed at his boyfriend with a smile printed on his face, for what seemed like an eternity, laying his eyes on everything they could reach: his gorgeous side profile; his slightly furrowed eyebrows; the golden curls that almost reached his shoulders; that absolutely nonsensical but all the same weirdly charming way he used to wear his wristwatch too loose over the unbuttoned cuff of his shirt, instead of beneath it like normal people; the collar of his wrinkled pinstripe button-down, too large to adhere properly to his slim neck. Derek rested his hand on the side of that neck of his, half entangled in his hair, caressing the very edge of his cutting jawline with a thumb.

"You know," Morgan interrupted the silence and Reid finally looked up at him with his big, brown eyes.

"Sarah asked me if I was gonna invite you to dinner one day."

Spencer smiled awkwardly and raised his brows, surprised "She did?". Derek nodded.

"Wow- I'm- I'm flattered..." he stuttered in response, half-heartedly.

"...but?" Derek got serious.

"There's no 'but', it's just- you know. I thought your family saw me as the weird and awkward kid, just like...well, everyone, really- which is totally true by the way I don't mean to play the victim or anything."

Derek laughed. "Yes, they do."

Reid frowned. Was there something he wasn't getting?

"But they love you like that."

Spencer looked away, smiling shyly. Derek cupped his jaw in one hand to make their looks meet again - he understood that Spencer loved it when he took his face like that by how he immediately gave him those eyes, every time. The adorable eyes. It worked like magic.

He bent over to whisper in his ear.

"I love you like that."

Spencer was already closing his eyes and melting in Derek's warmth, expecting one of his kisses. But Morgan wanted to tease him a little bit, so he backed away from him and walked toward the door with a smirk on his face, leaving there both Reid AND the mess of files they dropped on the floor.

"Wait!" Spencer squeaked when Derek was already on the threshold of the door.

"Nuh-huh pretty boy I ain't gonna help you with that mess. Besides: it's your fault, it's not like I pushed you or anything" he said jokingly, still wearing that smirk that made Spencer's whole body blush.

"Yeah- no, actually, it's not about that, though you could help me since we're already late and it IS kind of your fault- frankly though, it's totally your fault, what did you expect me to do? You were utterly over me, physically-"

"Baby. I was joking. What was it?" Derek interrupted the flood of words coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah sorry, uhm" he paused, his brain trying to start working again after crashing for a second at the word "baby".

He kept his eyes firm on Derek's face with his mouth open - though no words came out at all - fidgeting with his hands like he always did, not knowing what it meant to stay still. Derek raised his brows in a way that meant: "I'm listening...?".

"Why- why aren't you mad?" Spencer finally said, choosing the simplest and less mistakable way to say it.

Derek frowned. "Mad? At you? For wha- wait, did you do something I should be mad about?"

"Nonono not like that it's just, I haven't really talked to you in the past few days. And I should have been there for you with all that was going on."

"You WERE there. Just like anybody else."

"Exactly, and I should have done something more, instead I acted just like anybody else on the team, but I'm not anybody else otherwise this- us, we wouldn't make sense... right?" he waited hopeful for his boyfriend's confirmation, but his expression remained the same. "So I thought you would feel betrayed in some way, I don't know if you do feel like that and you're not telling me to not make me feel...guilty, but- but anyway I'm sorry. I'm really sorry that I acted like I don't have any responsibility to you."

"Kid" Derek said softly. "we're way past the whole 'I'm here for you if you wanna talk' thing. I know that you are, and I chose not to talk about it more than we were already doing on the job. We both bear a responsibility to each other and we always both respect that" he paused. "You worked on the case, you gave me space, you hugged me when I needed a hug. That's all that matters to me and you know it inside that big brain of yours."

Reid looked like he hadn't even heard half of the talk, gazing at him with heart eyes.

Morgan paused again, expecting some sort of answer, which never came. "What? One minute you're all sorry and the next you're looking at me like- like that." he raised his hand to point toward the face he was making. "What's up with you?" he asked jokingly after a few seconds of silence.

"So we're way past that uh?" Reid quoted him timidly, like he had to make it official.

"Waaay past that." Morgan answered with an eye-roll, playing along, knowing where that was going.

"So we're...serious. Aren't we?" he questioned rhetorically, biting his lip and looking down to fake-concentrate on fiddling with the hem of his sweater vest.

"Yes, genius boy, we're serious."

Spencer nodded shortly and turned around to hide his smile; finally deciding to - once again: clumsily - pick up the files and randomly stuff some of them in his satchel, while he kept the others in his hand. If he had done that with any criteria at all, they would have all fit in the bag: that was what Derek was thinking, looking at his messy boyfriend try to un-mess things up; wondering if maybe he really should've considered offering a hand.

-

They both finally got out of the room, 20 minutes later, but Derek's family was still there. He stopped walking and grabbed Spencer's arm to make him do the same.

"Imma wait for Hotch, I'll catch up in a minute."

"Alright" Spencer nodded.

"Yeah wait, first I gotta ask you one last thing..."

"...sure" Spencer squinted his eyes, pronouncing the word slowly. Derek looked a teeny tiny bit nervous, which was unusual, to say the least.

"Does your mom know? About...us? About me ?"

Spencer grinned knowingly. "Why are you even asking, you KNOW that I tell her everything."

"...so...? "

"So I've been telling her about you since the second I met you." he paused, giving him his sweet smile. "She knew where this was going before I did." By 'this' he clearly meant them.

Derek looked down at his feet, biting his bottom lip in the attempt to contain a chuckle.

Spencer wanted to kiss him. But they were in the main lobby, there was Sarah not so far: he didn't know if Derek would be okay with it.

He hesitated a second to look around and then gave him a quick peck at the corner of his lips, so quick nobody noticed. But as soon as he pulled away a little, Derek cupped his face and kissed him way deeper. In that moment, Reid understood that Morgan really didn't care about showing everyone that they were a thing. Not even his family. He was more than just not ashamed of it - he was proud.

Spencer could have gone hours kissing like that, but he stopped. "Alright- you're gonna make me drop the files again" he mumbled breathily against his lips, smiling.

Derek laughed and shook his head, finally letting Spencer go and following him with his gaze as he walked away.

-

He looked over to his sister: she was smirking. She had been looking at them all along. Nice.

Derek scratched the back of his neck and turned around, already regretting kissing Spencer in front of them: he could only imagine the amount of embarrassing questions expecting him at the next family dinner. To which he would also have to take Spencer with, at that point.

Hotch finally got out of an office where he had been talking with God knows who about God knows what for the whole time Morgan was with Reid. He always had to do the boring, bureaucratic stuff.

"Morgan. Have you been waiting for me this whole time?" he asked, in the most ironic tone he could pull off - which wasn't THAT clearly ironic.

"Yeah- no, actually, I was- nevermind. We good to go?"

"I was kidding. I know you were talking to Reid."

Derek nodded, looking at his feet, like talking to Reid was something to keep secret. Problem is, 'talking' wasn't all they'd been doing in the other room for 20 minutes.

Hotch frowned: he sensed something was wrong - mistakenly. "Is everything alright with you two?"

"...why are you asking? Should I know something?" Derek returned the frown. Apparently, that day people thought it was real fun to say confusing things.

Hotch sighed. "Reid wanted to apologize to you for a thing. He only hinted it to me but I can guess what he was talking about."

Derek breathed out, relieved. "Yeah. There was no need to apologize but you know how he's done. We're good." he answered, trying to hide a smile that said: we're REAL good.

"Thank God. When something is wrong between you two it's a mess." Hotch smirked with an eyebrow raised, using that same "ironic" tone from earlier, which came off as such only to the team because they knew him enough to resign to the fact that that was the most ironic it could ever get.

Derek snorted, smiling, without asking for an explanation: he knew exactly that the way the whole team functioned on the job got fucked up big time when there was tension between Spencer and him.

Hotch casually patted his shoulder. "Alright, let's get on the jet already. They're all probably asleep by now."

[cyn-00]

Moreid one shot, 5 - "spare you"

Season 6, episode 19 "With friends like these" (the one where Reid is having one of his headaches while they're delivering a profile, hence Morgan follows him to the bathroom to talk to him)

Back at it again with another unrequested long ass fic

Update like 5 months later: I basically re-wrote this. Well, parts of it; and I added other parts

Read it on AO3

-------------

Reid had been behaving weirdly for weeks now. Everyone on the team had noticed and asked, but he'd always given vague answers.

One would expect that only Morgan, aka his boyfriend, would know something more about it and, in fact, the others had tried to ask him too. Truth was, not even Morgan had it quite figured out. Which was concerning.

He'd tried to ask Reid what was going on several times: while they were working on cases, on the jet, in private, even at home, the few times in those past weeks that he had convinced him to come over, to try and make him spit it out. At a certain point, he just gave up. But seeing someone you love so much suffer and try to cope with something clearly bigger than them, isn't fun. Especially if you think that maybe you could do something about it, if only they let you.

The times he'd asked, Reid had told him that it was his migraine, which caused him insomnia and vice versa, in an endless vicious cycle. That could've been true: it happened to him from time to time. Especially after the drug problem he had dealt with a couple of years before; but Morgan didn't know much about that because they weren't "dating" at that time - and if Reid was one to keep things secret from him as a couple, imagine when they were just friends.

-

They were delivering the profile to the local pd agents, and Reid was clearly distracted. He didn't say a word during the whole thing, except when Hotch directly called him out to explain which was the unsub's "comfort zone".

Since they were all used to him intervening to give some statistics or make comparisons with other famous criminals, to the point where, sometimes, Hotch or Morgan had to shut him up because he was getting too excited; it was safe to say that such behavior wasn't normal for Spencer. 

In that specific situation, though, it was understandable that he wasn't saying anything: first of all, the unsub was supposedly schizophrenic, and when an unsub showed signs of mental illness - let alone if it was the same his mom had - it was very triggering for Reid. But most of all, it was their first case after Emily's "death".

-

"If you find someone who fits this description, let the sheriff know. Thank you for your attention." Hotch concluded.

Reid was still sitting on the desk. The moment Morgan's eyes met his for a split second, he stood up and immediately strode toward the bathroom; like he had been "caught" and had to flee as far as his feet could take him.

Spencer's headache was killing him in that moment. He hoped not to look so clearly uncomfortable, but he knew Derek - and literally everyone else - had noticed. And he knew that time he'd have to tell him the truth. He was NOT enjoying the continuous lying at all, especially when it came to lying to Derek. His Derek. It wasn't fair to him.

He walked toward the bathroom as fast as possible so that the others wouldn't have the time to ask him what was going on. On the other hand though, to Morgan that must have clearly looked like Reid was unspokenly asking for him to follow, and that he was ready to finally talk - which he wasn't. He would NEVER be ready to talk about it.

Spencer got in the bathroom, but couldn't hear Derek's footsteps yet. Maybe Hotch had to tell him something? Maybe he was too busy on the case to worry about his stupid headache? Maybe he wasn't even going to follow him in the first place, because he was done with his bullshit? No, that surely wasn't possible. And anyway Reid didn't even know whether he was hoping for that to be true or not.

He closed the door, - noise made the headaches way worse - washed his face and started taking deep breaths, which was what he usually did to try and make the migraine better; obviously failing 9 times out of 10.

He finally heard someone open the door, hoping it wasn't any member of the team apart from Morgan or - even worse - some officer who would've thought he was crazy.

-

When Morgan entered the bathroom, he found Reid bending over the sink, leaning on his arms with his head down. He had a feeling he was gonna talk for real, this time, instead of using lame excuses or avoiding the topic completely.

Reid finally found the courage to look up at him, not directly, but through the mirror - though even just that was enough to make him nervous.

Morgan was now right beside him, with his arms crossed on his broad chest, like he was waiting for him to talk first. Reid sighed and finally turned around, leaning on the sink. But he couldn't bring himself to talk: he didn't even know where to start.

Derek lightly put his index under Spencer's chin and raised his face, to make him look into his eyes instead of facing the ground.

"I'm not here to judge you. Is that what you want me to say so you can finally speak? Like you don't know it already." Derek broke the silence.

Spencer couldn't find the right words to explain that he had been feeling like crap for the past 2 weeks.

"I've been feeling like shit." he finally murmured in resignation: that's just how it was.

Derek's eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting him to be so direct.

"Yeah, I noticed. Everyone has, to be fair."

Reid nodded and went back to look at his feet.

Morgan continued, softening his tone. "Listen, kid. This can't be a normal migraine, am I right? If it makes you feel so sick."

"That's what I thought." Spencer answered.

"...so did you go to a doctor?" Derek asked after a few seconds of silence, during which he would've expected him to continue with his explanation.

"I went to three different doctors, actually. And basically, they told me I have nothing."

Derek looked confused. His mind started to wrap around the idea that the migraines could be a symptom of something way more serious.

"Maybe..." Derek started. He wanted to say it, but wasn't sure if A) Spencer had already wondered about it and was gonna accuse him of thinking he's dumb, or B) on the contrary, saying it would heat him up because the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. Either way, he wasn't expecting him to react well, but he had to say SOMETHING, for Christ's sake.

"...maybe the headaches mean something else? " He decided to stay vague.

Reid stood up straight and faced him. That whole dancing around the problem was starting to annoy him.

"If you want to say that you think I'm showing signs of... of schizophrenia, just- just say it."

Derek wanted to answer with something that would calm him down, but Spencer interrupted him the second he opened his mouth.

"It's like I told Emily, I knew you would all treat me like a baby if I ever talked to any of you about this. Do you think I wouldn't have told you or- or anybody else, if the doctors had said that I'm having symptoms of mental illness?" Reid could feel his eyes filling up with tears the moment he mentioned Emily's name out loud.

He still couldn't believe he had talked to her about his stupid migraine while she was dealing with way more important stuff, and that maybe if he had been the one to ask her what was going on, instead of the other way around, she would still be alive.

Derek's expression changed from being comprehensive to being irritated as soon as he picked up that Spencer had talked about this to Emily before anyone else. Before him.

"So you told her. But didn't tell me. Even though I asked you a MILLION times." he said frowning, his voice deep.

Reid didn't answer. He realized he shouldn't have mentioned it. He couldn't bear with Morgan's look anymore, so he turned his back on him to face the mirror again, looking down at his distorted reflection on the steel tap.

"Alright look, I don't know why you told Emily before telling me that's- that's beside the point here, honestly. I don't blame you for it, I know she is-" Derek stopped for a second and gulped. "-was. I know she was your friend- OUR friend, I used to tell her about my stuff too, cause I trusted her with it, so I get it, alright?" he sighed heavily. "I blame you for not trusting ME, too. It's not like I didn't give you the right circumstances to tell me."

Derek paused and tried to calm down, lowering his voice. "but you and I, Spencer, we- we're not friends. We never were just friends. You're always THE FIRST ONE to know about my stuff and I'm the first to know about yours - or at least I used to be - because we get each other way before the others get us. And I did- I DID get you before anyone else even this time. You were just too damn blind to notice it."

"I DO trust you. Don't talk like you don't know that. It's not because of trust that I haven't told you yet." Spencer finally found the words to answer, without hesitation.

"Then what? What is it?? If it's because of the 'treating you like a baby' bullshit- don't even get me started. I don't care how you call it, but what that actually is, is worrying and CARING about yo-"

"I know." That's all Spencer managed to say, coldly, before letting the conversation fall into a long, tense silence.

Derek was waiting for him to say something - anything - with his arms folded on his chest, but his patience had a limit - EVEN when it came to Spencer. And it wasn't because he got tired of him - there was no such thing - but because it was too painful to see him like that.

-

"A'ight." He sighed frustratedly, dropping his arms down his sides as he turned on his heels. He just couldn't stand being there any longer.

He was about to walk away, but Spencer turned around and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"W-Wait. There is a reason why I didn't wanna tell you at all, to be honest, and I- I even hoped you'd let it go at some point..." Spencer found the courage to say, now looking straight into Derek's dark eyes. He let go of his arm and tucked his hair behind his ears, as if preparing to explain properly.

"One of the doctors said that these migraines could be psychosomatic. He didn't mention schizophrenia though." he confessed, getting to the point, pausing a second after to catch Derek's reaction. But his expression remained pretty much the same: Spencer wasn't sure whether that could be because he was someway expecting it; or he was simply trying to hide how startled he actually was at the news, afraid to discourage him from talking.

"It's hard enough for me to get the work done and...actually, to- to live, with these headaches" he paused again, this time in the attempt to stop the urge of crying, but his voice was already cracking. "I can't concentrate, even light bothers me, let alone noise, I can't- I get 20 hours of actual sleep a week if I'm lucky. I feel pain and- and exhaustion, all the time..."

Now he was crying. He quickly wiped away the tears with the back of his nervously trembling hand, and shook his head to compose himself. "When I'm with you I feel guilty because I- I can't actually enjoy it and I can see that that's affecting you and that's SO not fair to you Derek I-" he sniffled, stopping himself from continuing with that train of thought, afraid that if he went on to say how much Derek didn't deserve to go through all of that for him, to have to adjust in order to keep up with his garbage, how he didn't understand why he hadn't yet ran away in the arms of someone normal, someone just as amazing as he was because he shouldn't settle for anything less, someone who could lift from his chest some of his pain instead of adding to it- Spencer was afraid if he'd went on to say that, not only he would crumble on the floor at his very knees, which would've been quite the pathetic scene; but most of all Derek would've thought he was praising him just to distract him from how mad he was at Spencer - righteously, he thought. Derek wasn't mad at Spencer for feeling sick, by the way. He could never.

Spencer was somewhat ready to continue, getting back to the problem. "The times that you've convinced me to come over, lately, were few not because I didn't want- actually it's a bit easier for me to sleep when I'm with you, in general, at least more than I manage alone- it's- it was just because I can imagine that having to babysit me is not how you- we, that's not... how we wish to spend time together. So what I'm saying is that the reason why I didn't wanna tell you is because if the doctor is right, it means I'm gonna have to go through therapy to fix this and it's gonna take a while...maybe it's never even gonna go away I- I'm not sure, honestly. There's no way of knowing. And I don't wanna force you to be a part of this. Even just for these few weeks I can see I've been nothing but a burden to you- to everyone, to be fair, and..." he gulped and tried to slow down the pace of his talk. "and I want to be able to spare from this at least you."

-

They stared into each other's eyes for a while. Derek understood what Spencer meant to say with all of that, he just needed a minute to process a proper answer - or at least one that would make some kind of sense.

"So uhm, let me- let me get this straight" he said shaking his head, his voice hoarse, his eyes squeezed shut trying to soothe the itching of tears poking at his lids. "Your best solution would be to... to break up ?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

Spencer nodded and returned to face the ground, ashamed of what he was implying and not really knowing what he was hoping for him to decide.

Derek couldn't find the right words to say next. So he walked toward the door.

-

Spencer thought that that was it. That he was about to be abandoned yet once more - and for the first time he wanted to punch himself in the guts at the awareness that it was no one else's but his own fault; surely not Derek's. He thought the best thing that had God-willingly fallen into his arms in years was about to walk away through that door.

And, despite knowing there was no such thing, Spencer could swear he felt his heart physically break. The amount of tears heaping up before his pupils blinded him and made his eyes literally burn; his jaw was clenched so tight in the attempt to put a stop to the desperate sobs about to escape that his teeth seemed to be cracking, just before shattering altogether.

But he didn't really have the right to stop him, since he basically asked for it and since he knew sticking with him through that would be a big responsibility and an even bigger burden, other than a distraction.

That's why he wanted to break up with him first. He wanted to rip off the band-aid. At least he would've spared them both the mess that would've happened if Derek had stayed with him for a while longer and then dumped him at a certain point, out of having enough, when Spencer would've already convinced himself that he could trust him to stick around till the "end". Whatever that meant.

-

Unexpectedly, when Derek got to the door, he did not open it and leave. He locked it, instead. He didn't really care if anyone got in anyway, but the situation was already uncomfortable enough.

He went back to Spencer and took him in his arms, with one hand on the back of his head, tied in his curls. And he kissed him.

Spencer was definitely not expecting that. His heart started beating again, so loud he could feel it in his ears. His eyes shut while his mouth was moving almost on itself, like it got carried away by his feelings. As for his arms, though, at first he hadn't figured out what to do with them yet, leaving them hanging idle along his sides.

Then he stopped for a second to catch his breath, and when their mouths met again, making the kiss more intense and wet; whether that be from the tears coating Spencer's face entirely or the drool he didn't even have the strength to contain - just then, his arms found their way, wrapping Derek as tightly as he possibly could.

Just when it was starting to get too needy and Derek's mind was about to go places it shouldn't have - considering the context and the importance of the matter - Spencer placed his hand on Derek's jaw to pull away, abruptly.

"W-wait" he whispered breathily. "Did you mean for this to be our- our last kiss?" he blurted out worriedly, the bad thoughts doubling back to hit him in the stomach all at once. "Is this a goodbye?"

Derek didn't answer immediately - instead, he drew him closer into his arms and hugged him tight, burying his face into his soft hair, keeping his eyes closed.

The lack of response left Reid even more confused. He slightly furrowed his brows but let himself melt into the comfort of Morgan's broad and warm body, returning the hug a few seconds later.

He could feel the rhythm of Derek's breath softly blowing into his ear, and the beat of his heart against his chest. And Spencer knew that to feel a person's heart through a hug it would have to be really pounding. Like, he could give you the numbers.

-

"I can't even imagine there being a last kiss with you, Spencer. I love you." Derek finally murmured into his ear, pausing to sniffle. "So much. I love you so much, I need you to understand that."

The only reason why Spencer didn't say it back, was because the smile printed on his face was too wide to speak; he didn't even know he could smile that big. And Derek felt such smile against his neck, so how could the lack of answer bother him? 

Derek opened his eyes and pulled away to look at him, shifting his hands to cup his face. Spencer placed his hands around his wrists, holding onto them like he wanted to secure the grip.

He leaned closer and laid a gentle kiss on one of his boyfriend's eyelids. It was an affectionate and pure gesture in itself, but he didn't do it randomly: Spencer's mom used to kiss him goodnight like that when he was little, before tucking him in the blankets. In that moment, Spencer probably wished Derek had long forgotten about that thing, thinking it sounded childish and embarrassing. Derek didn't find it either of those things.

"Can't believe a smartass like you could think I'd just leave." Derek said. Spencer snorted and nodded: he realized just in that moment that he had no excuse for even CONSIDERING that, even if before it seemed to him like the only way out.

Morgan let go of him. "C'mon pretty boy. Let's get back to work."

-

He walked toward the door first: if they had got out together, maybe someone would've suspected something - what that "something" was, he still had to figure out. They got lucky enough that no one had tried to get in during all that.

He unlocked the door but waited a second to get out.

"Thank you, by the way."

Reid frowned.

"For what exactly? Doubting about you and making you angry?" he smiled sheepishly; his eyes still flushed and his voice wavering. "Also, my headache has completely gone away so I'm the one who should be thankful".

"No, no." Derek shook his head, smiling back at him in that way, the way that made everyone always melt on the ground. "Thank you for telling me, I mean. Even if it took a while."

Silence.

"I know it's hard for you, kid." he added in a gentle tone.

He got out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.