#more trans dean winchester

[cas-coding]

If the drive to Stanford is hell, the look in Sam’s eyes when he sees Dean for the first time in years is worse. Dean knows he looks different, his cheekbones much more prominent and an Adam’s apple sitting under his chin. Sam nearly jumps when Dean speaks, stinging Dean to his core. He’d forgotten that this wasn’t what he used to sound like, that he had to pump himself full of testosterone each week, testosterone that he hadn’t managed to get any sooner than twenty-three.

That was long after Sam left.

The ride in the Impala is a quiet one, the tension between the brothers weighing them down. It wasn’t even about their dad or the hunt, it was about Dean. It was about how Dean’s chest is flat, how his voice is deep, how he actually looks like a Dean, how Jess had looked at Sam and said, “Oh, Sam, I didn’t know you had a brother too!”

Eventually, Dean caves, tired of Sam’s eyes on him. “Go ahead. Ask what you want to ask,” he spits, his hands tight on the wheel.

Sam sighs beside Dean, rolling his eyes before looking out the window. “What’s going on?”

“Dad’s missing, I thought I said that,” Dean replies, but that’s not what Sam’s talking about. He’s just gotta be sure before saying it all, making sure Sam actually wants to hear it, actually cares about Dean after all this time.

Snorting, Sam turns to look at Dean again. “Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. Now what’s going on with you? You’ve,” Sam pauses, searching for a word, “Changed since i left, so I have to ask: was it me?”

“No,” Dean admits, his eyes fixed on the road ahead of them. It falls silent again before Dean clears his throat, snapping, “We’re done now?”

He’s not one to talk about his feelings; he never was. He didn’t say anything to their dad other than asking him to call him Dean, and besides a few smacks upside the head for not looking like Mary anymore, their dad was okay about it. It was easier to drag a son around than a daughter, Dean supposed.

They never talked about it, though. Dean would get mistaken for a boy on a hunt or two and as soon as they’d finish ganking the bitch, they’d all pile into Baby and then Sam would get nosy, asking why Dean didn’t say anything about being called John’s son. “Cause,” Dean would say, “It doesn’t matter. We’ll never see them again anyway.” That was the most they ever talked about it, and maybe that’s why rage bubbles up inside Dean when Sam speaks again.

“Dean, we’re family. Tell me what’s going on with you. You know what I mean,” Sam pushes, his tone sharp. His eyes nearly burn a hole into the side of Dean’s head before Dean pulls the Impala off the road, looking over at his brother.

“What is there to say, Sammy?” Dean snaps, looking out his window before biting at his lip. He had opened up this conversation, for starters, so why was he so keen on shutting it down? It wasn’t the end of the world; it wasn’t close to the scariest thing Dean had ever done, not by a long shot, so why did he want to open the car door and run, get as far away as possible?

Sam sighs, a big heave of air, and then he’s tapping his foot, shaking the car. “I just want to know what I missed. If you don’t wanna talk about it, whatever. Fine by me, but I’d listen. Just for the record,” Sam mumbles, and despite his low volume, he’s genuine. He’d listen to as much as Dean has to say, all because he’s a good brother.

Swallowing thickly, Dean closes his eyes, resting his forehead against the cold glass of the driver’s side window. It takes him a minute to sort himself out, put the words in the right order, but then he’s speaking, his voice rough as he explains. “Not much to it, really, nothing you don’t already know. I’ve been Dean as long as I can remember, even back before Mom died. I just got the chance to look more like it a year or so after you left,” he says, vaguely gesturing with his hand, “Snagged some medication, pump myself full of it every Thursday, and then boom. Voice drops, stubble grows in, cheekbones get all handsome. Magic of modern medicine, hey?”

“I guess,” Sam replies, cut and dry, and part of Dean is itching to look over at his brother, gauge his reaction, but he can’t, afraid of what he might see in his brother’s face. Eventually, curiosity wins over, Dean shifting just a bit in his seat to pop one eye open and take a glance, getting an eyeful of nothing. Sam looked like Sam, just like he had ten minutes ago, just like he had ten years ago.

Sam clears his throat, letting out a chuckle. “You can look at me, Dean, I’m not gonna bite,” he laughs, and Dean snaps his head up, making eye contact with his brother. “It’s fine, really,” Sam reinforces, “It’s cool. You seem like, I don’t know,” Sam shrugs, “You.”

“Well, I’m glad,” Dean snorts, “Took a lot to ‘seem like me.’ Time, scars, money,” he laughs, “’Course, none of the money was mine, but David Johnson’s going to get a hell of a hospital bill for the whole,” Dean vaguely gestures to his chest, “This removal.”

Then it’s Sam’s turn to snort, letting out a string of laughter. “Yeah, how many hunts did you have to sit out waiting for that to heal?”

“Well, tore my stitches out twice, but I was back in the game within three days,” Dean says, practically puffing his chest out. He shouldn’t feel some sense of pride over the fact that he’d stitched his chest back together with dental floss, but it did make him sound ten times more badass than Sam ever was, and that makes him smile.

“Dude!” Sam shouts, a smile pulled tight across his face, “The, like, number one rule of the universe is don’t fuck with stitches? What did you do? You fucked with your stitches!”

They’re both overcome with laughter, struggling to pull in air as they laugh so hard tears come to their eyes, and then Dean knows. This is what brotherhood feels like, and it’s the best feeling in the world.

[mad-as-a-box-of-frogs]

Linda Tran in A Little Slice of Kevin (8x07): Best of SPN Ladies [393/?]

[sammygender]

trans headcanons of the winchesters are always extremely fun to play around with and i can see most of them. but one that always rings slightly false to me, despite a love for it due to self-identification and the fact it’s definitely interesting, is transmasculine dean. simply because if you’re going according to canon this would require him to have transitioned at some point prior to johns death, probably much prior, probably as a youngish kid. and i genuinely do not think that ever could’ve happened. he values johns approval too much and is too scared of demanding too much of him.

like even aside from whether john is Actually transphobic (i doubt he’s like Cartoonishly transphobic he probably would be annoyed by it slash not care much, interpret ‘not caring’ however you want) just the whole Thing of coming out where you’re like. “Hey dad im actually a human person who has an internal sense of self and such that doesn’t happen to be You 2.0 and am not the gender you thought i was and i feel emotions to such an extent that i actually like need to transition”…….

no fucking way dean would ever be able to do that to john while he’s still alive. please. teenage transmasculine dean would be like Well yeah sure i want to be a guy but that’s not an option for me whatsofuckingever. and crucially he’d be like that even if he knew entirely about trans people. now this is why transfemme dean works so well. because you just know it would take her at least thirty years to even consider it for a singular second.

on the other hand transmasc sam works so well because you can picture teenage transmasculine sam realising he’s a boy and promptly making it part of the whole entirely justified and very cool and fun teen angst rebellion FUCK YOU DAD thing. he could let spite carry him to the point of coming out. dean? he is burying that shit deep.

[rystiel]

i think it’s interesting to consider trans dean in relation to canon tbh. i mean john winchester is most definitely homophobic, but dean being trans would imply that he practices trans-inclusive toxic masculinity… like “you want to be a man, then act like one.” honestly i feel like he may be more inclined to let dean transition, because being a man in the field of hunting is something john probably views as beneficial

[whatslostnfound]

can we pls talk abt kevin tran

i js adore his dynamic w sam n dean :(

like when dean tells kev hes family and he started crying fuck i cried too LIKE YES HES FAMILY U MAKE SURE HE KNOWS IT and theyre always asking each other if kevins ok, checking up on him, getting him food damn im gonna cry again

i especially adore how sam treats him bc sam's the little brother but not w kev he's a big brother hes kevins big fucking brother and GOD it fucking kills me bc i love it

also the pep talks they give him i js i fucking love kevin ok

when dean said they would die for him man i actually couldnt i still cant fuck

best thing abt spn is and always will be family. sam and dean, the brothers but also w the family they found along the way.

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

I used to think I didn’t like Kevin, I mean I love pretty much all regulars on spn (except Lucifer) but for some reason I never clicked with Kevin. I just realized he is the ONLY character that’s on the show a lot who acts like a normal human, he freaks out, his mental health goes completely bonkers about everything that’s happening and he has a very hard time settling into this being his life now. I think all of us would react the same way, however I prefer characters like Dean or Cas that are strong, who take what’s thrown at them and who make the most of what they got. Who care more about doing the right thing than about their own safety, kinda like Charlie when she learned about Leviathans.

So the reason I didn’t like Kevin was that he was too much like me and that he was one of the fee characters who wasn’t all strong and made me feel safe. (Also maybe the whole overachiever study crap, I hated school & uni so I really can’t relate haha).

But I’m rewatching season 7 rn and I totally forgot Kevin had a badass phase and I LOVE how badass he is there! I kinda wish he’d stayed like that. But then again it’s also kinda fun to see the difference between the heroes of the show and the reaction of a normal person getting thrown into their world.

[cas-coding]

He’s seven when it hits him.

Sam’s pulling at Dean’s pigtails, his new favorite pastime as Dean makes dinner, just a quick box of stovetop mac and cheese for them tonight. Their dad was supposed to be home hours ago, but Dean had learned quickly that John didn’t care about getting home on time, not when he could make a quick detour to the liquor store.

“Deanna!” Sam screams playfully, pulling on a fistful of Dean’s hair, “Deanna, I’m hungry!” The words sting, but Dean’s not really sure why, why he’s been so much angrier at Sam since he picked up the habit of mockingly calling him Deanna, using his full name rather than the cute ‘Dee’ he used to call him.

Ignoring it, Dean sets a bowlful of mac and cheese in front of his little brother, praying it will buy him time as he slips into the bathroom. The door clicks shut softly and Dean’s breathing picks up, heaving in lungful after lungful of air as he looks at himself in the mirror.

He’s got pigtails in his hair, little pink elastics holding the two clumps of hair on top of his head, the bottoms of the pigtails still brushing against his shoulders as he turns his head. His hair is blonde, just like his mom, but he looks in the mirror and he hates it, hates to see a juvenile reflection of his own mother staring back at him.

Walking away from the mirror, Dean sighs and sits down on top of the toilet lid, pretending for one minute that he’s not in some scummy motel room, but that he’s home, that he’s just brushing his teeth before his mom will come tuck him into bed. What would he do then?

His hands find the hem of the skirt he’s wearing, frayed from a year of constant wear. It was easier to have him in skirts all the time, Dean knew that, he was growing so fast that pants wouldn’t fit for more than a couple months. Dad was saving money with Dean, refusing to buy him a solid pair of jeans, but he bought Sam new pants every other month, so why was Dean any different?

Then Dean is tearing at the fabric, ripping a long slit in the skirt before finding another place along the hem and doing the same. This isn’t who he is, it never was, so why is his dad trying to make him something he’s not?

Back when his mom was still alive, when she’d tuck him in at night, she’d press a kiss to his forehead and tell him he was loved. She’d say, “I love you, Deanna. Sleep tight,” and close the door, nightlight flickering away in the corner. He hadn’t had an issue with his name then. He’d wake up in the morning and put on jeans and a t-shirt, run around the neighborhood, climb trees in the backyard. He’d come inside for a PB&J sandwich and his mom would press a kiss to his forehead, muttering softly, “My little tomboy,” before tending to Sam, whispering in turn to him, “My baby boy.” Why didn’t Dean ever get to be his mom’s baby boy?

Soon enough, Dean’s down on his hands and knees, frantically shuffling through the cabinet under the sink, hands digging through his father’s duffel bag. There had to be something there, anything Dean could use. His fingers brush against his dad’s electric shaving razor, grabbing at it as fast as he can.

Dean’s hair falls to the ground in clumps. First the ponytails, the little pink elastic still wrapped around the hair as it sits on the dirty tile floor, then little hairs as Dean runs the electric razor back and forth over his head. Looking in the mirror, a part of him hurts, the last bit of his mother lying on the floor with Dean’s hair, but something inside of him sings despite that hurt; he feels like he’s finally himself.

Sam’s still stuffing his face full of macaroni and cheese when Dean emerges from the bathroom, ignoring his brother to run to their shared room. His hands shuffle around under the bed before he grabs hold of Sam’s travel bag and pulls it into the light. He unzips it carefully, as if it holds some kind of treasure, because it does. Sam’s got two extra pair of jeans, and they’d be short and tight, but Dean could make them fit; he’d just have to steal some of his own sometime, maybe tomorrow if their dad still wasn’t back.

Dean feels like he can’t breathe in Sam’s little jeans, the bottom of them squeezing around his calf, but Sam says nothing as Dean walks back into the kitchen and takes a bowl of mac and cheese for himself. It’s not until they’re both finished with their dinner that Sam speaks at all, pushing his bowl towards Dean and smiling. “All done,” he says, barely taking a breath before adding, “Where’d your pigtails go?”

Swallowing thickly, Dean stands up, taking Sam’s bowl and ignoring the question. He didn’t know how to explain that he hated it, that every time his little brother pulled at his hair he wished he would pull it right off, and so he explains nothing.

“Deanna,” Sam giggles, his happiness contrasting Dean’s disgust, “Why’d you get rid of your pigtails?” God, the kid won’t just drop it, will he?

“Dean,” he snaps, all the anger leaving his body at once, “I’m Dean, Sammy, or at the very least, Dee. Not Deanna.”

The room instantly falls silent and Dean turns to look at Sam, worried he’s going to cry. Dean wasn’t supposed to snap at Sam like that, they both already got enough of it from their dad. Instead of tears, there’s curiosity welling in Sam’s eyes, his head tilted as he repeats it. “Dean,” he says, slowly at first, “Dean, why’d you get rid of your pigtails?”

That question again. Sam was fixated on it, clearly, because what was he supposed to pull on and play with now? The kid loved pulling Dean’s hair, and now that it was short, he wouldn’t be able to. “I didn’t like them,” is the best response Dean can come up with, the selfishness of it sinking into his bones. His brother liked his pigtails, and who was Dean to take that away from Sam?

Giggles snap Dean out of his own head, Sam beaming at Dean as he tries to climb the counter beside him. “Wanna feel your hair,” he explains, and then Dean’s bending down, letting Sam run his hands through Dean’s short cut, smiling as Sam drags his hand across it and laughs. “It’s pokey,” he explains, and Dean runs his own hand through his hair, letting a smile show on his face. “You’re pokey,” Sam adds, and Dean’s almost offended before Sam continues and says, “I like it.”

[sastielsfandom]

Ave’s Happy Hollandween’s Challenge 

This is my attempt to post every day in October. I usually shy away from such a huge challenge making excuses, but this year I figured I’d give it a shot. I did look for a writing challenge to follow but didn’t find anything that intrigued me. I threw together a bunch of prompts and went from there, I hope you enjoy these little one-shots! 

Below are the first week's titles. Some are more obvious than others on what they may entail. 

Week 1:

Treats In The Making

My Babysitter's Kevin Freaking Solo

Dinner And A Show

Blending In

Jumping To Cloud Nine

Guinea Pig

Three And A Half Men

I can’t wait for you all to read them, I’ve been having a lot of fun with this challenge so far. I made sure to include ships I don’t give enough love to as well as characters. Starting strong with Saileen on day one.

All these stories will be on here under the hashtag #happy-hollandween and on AO3 under the series Happy Hollandween. 

For anyone that wants to be tagged in these stories, please leave a comment, reblog, or ask and I'll add you to the taglist. You can always be removed if you want as well!

[loverboyinthekitchen]

i would just like to say that the boygenius self-titled ep is most of who dean winchester is

[crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell]

Screaming with excitement right now

Crowley in season 8x07 was willing to knife fight Castiel. That was when he assumed Cas’ was too weak to use the full smite of his angel powers

I love it, because Crowley does not underestimate Cas in anyway. Crowley has always had a healthy appreciation for Cas’ abilities, so Crowley is more than aware of how BAMF Cas is at knife to knife fighting. Yet Crowley believed he had a chance, which shows that Crowley is pretty BAMF himself

I won’t lie, I think Cas would win in a “fight until one is knocked out” type situation. Cas is millions of years old and a soldier, it is highly unlikely Crowley would be better than him, and I just “yeah sure lol” whenever Dean is made to be more skilled than Cas? like what are the directors smoking? Dean is skilled but he doesn’t have millions of years of experience. Or if Cas only began fighting when humans were created, then thousands of years

But do I think Crowley could have put up a good enough fight, with his cunning, to stun Cas for just long enough to teleport away with Kevin and the tablet?

The answer is yes. It takes 7 milliseconds to snap your fingers. He needs to use cunning long enough to have that 7 milliseconds. Don’t get me wrong Cas would absolutely kick Crowley’s arse in any fight, even a non power fight where it’s just melee vs melee but I do think Crowley has enough skill to buy himself 7 milliseconds and that is an incredible feat, because Cas has way more experience even if he didn’t have powers, which he did

So why didn’t Crowley teleport with Kevin and the tablet while Cas was doing his light show? We know from 7x23 that Crowley doesn’t need to touch an item or people to teleport them

The answer I believe is this:

originally Crowley thought Cas didn’t have enough powers. The light show made him think okay maybe I was wrong. Originally he thought he just needed to stun Cas long enough to get him, the tablet and Kevin out and Cas wouldn’t be able to follow because he wasn’t in good shape

Cas was able to bluff well enough to make Crowley believe he was fine and if we remember from 5x10 Cas can follow Crowley’s teleportation energy like how he followed Crowley to his house, even though Crowley teleported before him 

So if you already know the angel can follow your teleportation signature, and you guess that they still have some power left in them to follow you, what would be the point? Fold your cards and try again. You can risk teleporting away, but if the angel follows you they might not give you an advantage of warning you with a light show next time

[feelingthedisaster]

nothing worse than posting a banger and getting a bunch of notifications, only for them to be abour every single post you ever made, except the banger (who is still at fucking 0 notes)

[rottencaniness]

yeah Dean Winchester is a lesbian. Yeah she also flirts with guys to get information. She calls it “having survival skills”. And yeah she tells Sam he’d never have her charm. He’s bisexual.

[trannydean-moved]

here's a big long thing i already had typed out on another platform. it's for the hunter!jaime au.

i want to think that jaime never went on a hunt with john and his boys because of several reasons;

1) jaime's parents forbade him from going on hunts until he was 16 (which he turned after his parents died and he ran away, so he never would've gotten to go on a hunt while his parents were alive).

2) dean would never agree to jaime's pleads on helping him sneak himself on a hunt with sam, dean, and john, because dean doesn't want jaime around john anymore than he has to be. he doesn't want his dad corrupting the most important person in his life other than sam. he doesn't have it exactly in his head like that, but he sort of knows that everything his dad touches, he corrupts, and dean doesn't want that to happen to jaime.

BUT listen. i'm thinking one time somewhere between 1993-1996. sam and dean have been acquainted with jaime and jackie for a few years now. jaime's and jackie's parents have started letting them stay at bobby's some of the time, to give jackie's parents a break from babysitting the two cousins when jaime's parents are on hunts. sometimes the winchester boys are there at the same time as jaime and jackie, and bobby complains that he isn't running a daycare, but he loves all those kids like they're his own, so he doesn't actually mind.

this takes place one of the times all four kids are at bobby's. dean and jaime have yet another argument about jaime hunting. or, jaime trying to convince dean to sneak him along during a hunt with john and the boys. they get a bit more hot under the collar than usual, and sam and jackie end up butting in to break up the fight.

then john drops by unannounced to bring the boys on a hunt. jaime gets the idea to smuggle himself along, and while everyone else is distracted, jaime gets in the trunk and crams himself in the back, praying that john doesn't open it before they leave.

he doesn't. jaime doesn't get discovered until they get to the location of the case--i'm thinking around tallahassee, florida, because florida is pretty far away and that's the first place in florida i came up with.

john first stops to interview the latest victim's family of some sorta monster (idk what yet, idk if it matters to this or not) and jaime is starting to get tired of being in the trunk. it's stuffy, he's been in there for over a day of him in the same confined place. he's hungry, hungrier than he's ever been in his entire life, and he's getting grumpy. he bangs his fist against the back of the trunk.

the startled scream from dean on the other side of the trunk is almost worth all the time jaime spent getting jostled around and starved in the trunk. jaime pounds on the back of the trunk again and yells for the boys to let him out.

he hears the back doors open and shut, and a moment later, the trunk opens. sam and dean stand there shocked for a minute while jaime gets out of the trunk, shuts it, and complains about being hungry.

dean sputters "how did--i told you that you can't ever come with us!" "too late now," jaime grins in return. "you are going to be in so much trouble," dean hisses, just as john is coming back. sam and dean spin around guiltily as they hear john bark their names.

john demands to know why the hell jaime is here. jaime replies that he sneaked into the trunk to come along on a hunt, because he'd been really wanting to go on a hunt for a while and his parents wouldn't allow him to.

john huffs, and dean suggests quietly that they should take jaime back home before they continue the case. jaime, feeling betrayed, glares at him, while john says they can't do that, because denver is half a continent away, and they can't just drive back as soon as they got to the location of the next hunt. "no, i'll call [his] parents and tell them where [he] is, and then we'll continue the hunt. jaime will just have to join us."

jaime is shocked about john actually letting him be on the hunt, but excited. dean is definitely uneasy about this. he knows jaime is several years older than dean was the first time he went on a hunt, and jaime has been trained by his parents + has gotten some pointers from bobby, so it wasn't like jaime was walking in blind. but still, he'd never been on a hunt before, and it scared dean to think of all the different things that could happen to jaime.

john drives the kids to the cheapest motel, rents a room, and drops them off to go interview more families of recent victims. as soon as he's gone, dean blows up on jaime, telling him how much danger he could be in for coming along. jaime scoffs, saying that just because he's younger than dean, doesn't mean that he is helpless. he then points out that sam is younger than him, and sam comes along on hunts too. dean replies that sam sits in the car while dean and their father do the hunting, so he's not in any real danger. jaime says "if you think i'm sitting the car throughout this, then you're thinking wrong, asshole."

meanwhile, bobby and jackie have obviously noticed jaime is gone, and at first bobby thinks that jaime just went to hide in the junkyard after his fight with dean, which jackie had informed bobby about. but after a couple hours, the two began to get worried, and they had searched the entire salvage yard top and bottom, finding no sign of him.

they then search the house, because maybe jaime had been in there the whole time and not actually in the yard. when they don't find him there, bobby begins to get genuinely worried. he doesn't call jaime's parents for another few hours, after he had searched the woods around his place and still couldn't find any sign of jaime. jaime's parents are in the middle of a hunt and can't come themselves, but jackie's parents are able to (since they don't hunt).

by the time john calls jaime's parents to tell them where he is, it's the next day, jackie's parents have made the 9hr drive from denver to sioux falls, and nobody has slept a wink the entire time. jaime's parents are horrified to learn their kid is on a hunt in florida over twenty hours from their current location, with about the worst person they could think of their child being under the care of.

they demand for john to bring jaime back to bobby's place. john scoffs, and tells them no, he's going to finish this hunt before taking jaime anywhere. jaime's mom threatens that if jaime gets hurt before he is brought home, she will send john's ass to hell. john rolls his eyes, grumbles that there isn't any way he can make any promises, "and you know that", and hangs up. jaime's parents are flabbergasted over the fact that john had the balls to hang up on them, but decide to call bobby to let him and jackie's parents know where jaime is so they can stop worrying and looking fruitlessly.

jaime's parents debate on whether they should head to florida to pick up jaime, but ultimately decide that by the time they'd wrapped up their hunt and got to florida, john would probably have finished his hunt and could've been on the way back to sioux falls already. they just have to hope jaime has enough common sense to keep himself safe.

now, back in tallahassee. john had come back to the motel with grub for the kids, and jaime was scarfing it down, because he hadn't eaten for over twenty-four hours by now. dean warns him to eat slower, but jaime ignores him, and ends up throwing everything back up because he ate too fast. john grunts "you got warned", and jaime is just burning with shame and embarrassment, while sam offers jaime a sympathetic look, and sneaks jaime some of his own food. dean does, too, careful to make sure john doesn't notice--he would've told them not to give jaime any of their food, because they needed it to be able to concentrate on the hunt.

while they eat, john tells them their next move, what they're going to be doing on this hunt. he asks jaime if he has any experience with firearms, which jaime replies "uh, yeah, of course i do". dean gives jaime a warning look, while john mutters "at least your parents are doing something right". it's a big argument between john and jaime's parents with how they are raising jaime.

idk the hunt goes on, john tests jaime to see how well he is with a firearm. as in he puts jaime in a compromised position where jaime has to defend himself against the creature/s they are after. dean is absolutely horrified at this, but jaime is able to hold his own and slow down the creature/s enough for john and dean to come in and finish the job. john offers jaime a "that wasn't too bad, kid", which makes dean feel awful because he himself hardly gets compliments like that from his dad, and jaime feels sick to his stomach from the combination of the blood and gore of the hunt and the fact he knows john almost never compliments dean like that.

later, dean quietly asks john how he knew jaime would've been able to hold his own until he and john could get to him. to dean's horror, john replies that he didn't; "i figured if the kid had good enough instincts and was smart enough, [he] would've been able to take care of [himself]. and apparently [he] is". dean swallows, then whispered, "but what if [he] hadn't been?" john looks at dean and says, "you know what would've happened. there probably wouldn't be enough of [him] left to burn".

after they clean up the body/ies of the monsters, they all head back to bobby's place. during the drive, jaime (who is sitting in the middle seat between sam and dean) falls asleep on dean's shoulder, and dean covers jaime up with his own jacket. john watches this through the rearview mirror. dean notices and meets john's eyes through the reflection for a moment before dean looks away.

they make it to bobby's the next day. jaime's parents are there waiting, and jaime is met with instant fierce scolding about sneaking into the impala to go on a hunt. jaime argues that he was fine, he did good on the hunt, and "it's not as bad as you say it is". john puts in that jaime wasn't too bad on the hunt, and though jaime hates this man more than anyone else in existence, he can't help but feel a little appreciative of his "support". joseph snaps at john, saying "this isn't the time", and orders jaime to go wait in the car. jaime mumbles goodbyes to everyone outside of his parents and john, and then does as he's told.

john tells sam and dean to wait in the impala, while jackie's parents take jackie inside. bobby lingers for a moment, looking between john and jaime's parents, before going inside, as well. he stays close to a window, though, to keep an eye on them in case he needed to intervene.

jaime's parents and john have a long discussion (read: argument) about the events of the past couple of days. jaime's parents say he "shouldn't have encouraged jaime's want to go on a hunt", while john argues he had nothing to do with it, and he never wanted "another kid to worry about" while on the hunt. he also says that "the kid's a natural, [he] should be able to utilize the skills [he] has". jacqueline responds fiercely that no, jaime should not be out in the field, because he's too young and not mature enough to truly handle himself against monsters. john replies that he already has, "and [he] did a damn good job at it". jaime hears this, and again feels guilty about it. sam and dean hear it, too, and sam whispers to a dejected dean that he did a great job on this hunt, too. dean doesn't respond.

jacqueline reveals that the real reason she doesn't want jaime on hunts at his age is because she and benjamin lost their sister bethany during a hunt when they were kids, because their father forced his three children on hunts when they were too young for it, too. "i don't want to lose my only baby the way my father lost one of his". she says this quietly enough so that jaime can't hear, but the impala is parked closer, and dean had discreetly rolled his window down enough so that he could hear anything the adults were saying. he was shocked to hear about this, as jaime had never told him about this (jaime didn't know).

jacqueline storms off to the car and gets in the passenger seat; she's too pissed of to drive. joseph glares at john for a moment before following after his wife, getting in the driver's seat, and pulling away. the whole way back is silent, besides the music over the radio playing softly. jaime falls asleep on the way there, and once they get back, it's dark, and he's still asleep. joseph carries him to bed.

jaime gets grounded, and doesn't get to see sam and dean as part of the punishment. he still gets to see jackie, because joseph and jacqueline still go out on hunts and benjamin and marilyn have to come over with jackie to watch jaime. jackie tries to offer words of assurance to jaime, as do benjamin and marilyn, but jaime ignores them, only coming out of his room for dinner.

[bleuzombie]

Trans Dean my beloved.

Also I would totally rather be stabbed than have a period ever again.

trans dean doodles while im working on a comic for tomorrow