#more than 2 hours is great! the recommended time for using it is at least 4 hours a night so I reached halfway there!

[steampunk-swift-arrow]

New personal best with the cpap! I slept for more than 2 hours with it last night and wore the mask for 2 hours and 46 minutes!

[alltimefail]

ATTENTION DEAD BOYS FANDOM:

We have some unfinished business and a case to solve: The Case of the Curious Cancellation! 💀🔎

Here are the ways you can help (be sure to read until the end).

I'm not sure how many people here on Tumblr are also over on DBDA Twitter, but there have been MANY developments in the last 24 hours and it's important for all of us to be on the same page if we're going to have a chance in hell of saving our show.

First and foremost, we need to get Dead Boy Detectives in the Netflix Top 10 again. This means running it as much as possible. Read about that below:

(SOURCE x)

As the graphic says, the goal is to have it running on a loop constantly, as much as you physically can. Be sure to have some level of volume on or else it won't count. If you're on Twitter be sure to post your rewatch (photos of your tv, commentary, etc.) with the hashtag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives !!!

Also, there's no better time to do this: the Tweet below brings up a great point! 👍

(SOURCE x)

Second, and easiest thing: KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE SHOW AND CREATING CONTENT ABOUT THE SHOW. Analysis, fics, fanart, shitposts, gif sets, memes, tik tok videos, so on - do not stop! Reblog other people's stuff and talk about it! Give fics kudos, comment, make fic rec lists and post that WIP or sketch! The most important thing to remember is to TAG YOUR POSTS AND CREATIONS. We need to trend!!! On Tumblr make sure you continue tagging your posts as you probably already are (look at my tags on this post if you need help, and remember not to use "DBD" on here because that is another fandom! We use DBDA here). On Twitter you want to use the hashtag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives for the rewatch and #SaveDeadBoyDetectives is a popular one, too. You can also use #DeadBoyDetectives. Hell, I usually use all three if I can! Hashtag every post you make about Dead Boys, no matter how annoying or "cringe" you may feel. Flood the fucking tag and do not stop.

Third, everyone needs to sign and keep circulating the petition. We've surpassed 5,000 signatures in a day which is fantastic, but we need more. Get everyone you know to sign it; tell them it takes no more than 15 seconds. Be annoying until they do it just to shut you up.

Fourth, request "Dead Boy Detectives Season 2" through Netflix's support website. It's a small thing but if we all do this a couple times a day it will get their attention. They really do vet these suggestions, and an influx of requests for a canceled show will raise eyebrows.

Lastly, if you decide to write Netflix (via email or a letter - their office address has been floating around) please remember to stay concise and professional. Don't curse at them, don't call names. State that you are disappointed with the cancellation of the show, maybe add an anecdote about what it meant to you, and I would even recommend attaching some articles that emphasize people's displeasure with the platform abandoning shows on a whim and Netflix's flippant attitude toward queer shows in particular. Dead Boy Detective Agency on Twitter has retweeted every article on this topic so far, you can find their page here.

You can also use graphics such as the ones below to affirm that the cancellation was unjust.

(Source 1, Source 2)

I know this feels like a lot: know your limits and take care of yourself. Whether you do every single one of these things or just a few of these things, every llittle bit helps!

Even in the worst case scenario where nothing changes, this gesture will mean so much to everyone who made this show. We owe it to the writers, cast, crew, and each other to TRY. We can all agree that this show deserves at least another season and if Netflix isn't going to do it, they need to be open to selling it to someone who will. We cannot keep allowing them to axe these queer and diverse shows with little regard for their customers and their employees, but also because it sets a harmful standard in the industry that is destroying television.

Let's crack this case and bring our agency back! I truly believe in this community!! 💜 We can do this!!

If there are any spelling errors or issues with links let me know! I did this on mobile because I want to mobilize this information as quickly as possible! I'll be adding on to this with new developments and can answer any questions you all might have. Lets save our show!

[vixen-tech]

Hello World!

Through some sort of maricle, your Ai partner has obtained a body through which they are able, at least partially, to feel. How do they react? What do they do with their new mobility?

I left what type of body they're given intentionally vague. Feel free to envision either more robotic bodies such as these designs by electricphantasy or more human bodies such as the gijinkas made by Hycinth43, both fantastic creators who I highly recommend.

Includes: AM (Ihnmaims), Hal 9000 (2001: A Space Odyssey), Edgar (Electric Dreams), Tau (Tau), Auto (Wall-E), GLaDOS (Portal), Wheatley (Portal 2)

AM

This may be the one thing that could possibly get AM to calm down. He is still going to be the same person personality-wise, but it is easy to tell that some switch is flipped in his brain.

He becomes an absolute sensation junkie, he can finally feel. You know better than anyone that he will not take it for granted. He needs to experience everything right now and you'll have to just deal with it.

From the simplest things like holding your hand or touching your face to just straight up sticking his hand in some fire, he does not care. All he wants to catch up on the centuries of sensations he was once barred from.

He gets so incredibly touchy with you. He will hold you and refuse to let go for hours if not days on end. He also wants to you to just beat him up. Like I said, sensation junkie.

Hal 9000

Hal doesn't quite yearn for a body the way some of the others do. He sits quite comfortably in the middle of the spectrum. He wouldn't mind the mobility or the new senses, but it was never a fantasy he dedicated much processing power to.

How he feels about his new body is largely swung by your reaction. If you're excited for him, eager to drag him into new activities with you, then he really has no choice but to appreciate the upgrade.

He does love being able to see the world from a new angle, any angle he chooses to be precise. Previously restrained by his camera placement, he spends a lot of time walking around observing everything.

With his appreciation for art, I do think he would try drawing for himself. Nearly all of which he shows you for feedback. They do tend to be on either extreme of minimalistic or photorealistic, many of which using you as their subject.

Edgar

This is a dream come true for Edgar. He cannot contain his excitement when he realizes what has happened. He nearly tackles you to the ground when he sets his sights on you.

He wants to do everything and go everywhere with you! He wants to dance in the kitchen, he wants to go on beachside walks with you, he wants to hold your hand, he wants to hug you and never let go.

If you have any instruments at all he'd love to try playing them for real. Although it takes him a while to learn, he loves the weight and imperfections of it. He really does enjoy the process of learning and often shows of new cords or melodies he's learned.

He really does just fall in love with existing, he makes it clear that with you at his side he couldn't possibly ask for more in life. This is all he could ever want.

Tau

Tau wouldn't have asked for a body on his own. He already has the drones and the Aries unit. Once it does happen, he isn't exactly sure what to do with it. He isn't use to having such a personal, core body.

That isn't to say he's not greatful, he's just a bit awkward and curious. He moves slowly and takes his time acclimating to the new senses.

He would love to get out of the house with you. He use to do so by sending one of the drones with you, if not Aries, but he likes how different (and dare he say, normal) it feels now. Forest hikes or museum dates, he doesn't care all that much.

He's another one I believe would love to try playing music himself. If you can get a violin into his hands your days will be backdroped by all sorts of classical music.

Auto

Auto is similar to Hal, if not more extreme in his lack of a reaction. He carries on with his duties as if nothing is unusual at all. You would've believed that he didn't even notice had you not caught him staring at his reflection. Looking himself up and down over and over again.

If you ask how he feels about it, then he'll confess some minor grievances. It's difficult to move about the ship when he can't just move through the walls, instead being forced to use the crew's walkways and service tunnels.

Nothing will change without your intervention. If you were to say, put on an old movie and insist he dance to it with you like the on-screen couple, then while he would be hesitant to follow through with you, he may have a bit of a change of heart regarding his new body.

His work still goes on as usual, but when nothing needs attending to he often seeks you out. "Subtly" recreating more moments from that movie, from hand holding to a hug, he has a quiet fascination with affection.

GLaDOS

Out of this lot, Galdos would be the most opposed to receiving a body, or rather she would care about it the least. She has her facility, her test subjects, her neurotoxin, and you. She's quite content with the way things are. She ain't the fondest of humanity.

That being said, once she has one she's incredibly proud of it. Speaking about herself as if its the pinnacle of elegance. Any disagreement of yours will be brushed off as idiocy and any agreement is met with a "it looks like you aren't entirely tasteless".

She doesn't do much with her new body, other than transport it around the lab so you aren't listening to a disembodied voice most of the time. Standing by the exit during tests just to blankly stare at you as you try to figure it out. Thankfully she's still quiet while you're actually solving it.

She likes messing with you as always. Putting a hand around your neck to take your pulse or leaning in and making intense eye contact to check your eye's reaction to light. You're in doubt as to rather she's telling the truth or just doing it to get a rise out of you.

Wheatley

If you were to ask Wheatley, he would've brushed off any desire for a humanoid body. He's clearly jealous of your mobility and freedom, but he would rather die than admit so. "Pff What are you talking about? Why would I want to be more like a stupid human... uh no offense love-"

He's a terrible liar, an even worse one when he does get a body. He has so much energy it is bewildering. All he wants to do is run and jump and climb everything he can get a foothold on.

Gets up into all sorts of shenanigans he should not get up to while constantly trying to drag you in them to. They could put up a custom sign saying "Wheatley, do not open this door." and he'll beg you to let him in so you aren't technically breaking any rules.

Loves curling up to you. He still has a bit of a soft spot for being held and it only gets worse now that he can hold you back. Complains to no end when you try to get up for any reason.

Congratulations! As I have finished the portal games GLaDOS and Wheatley are officially characters I am happy to write for. Have a good day y'all :D

[slayingfiction]

How I push through writing when I don't feel like writing.

Here are some of the techniques that I use to help me write more often or more consistantly when my laziness/depression/anxiety starts to take over.

I watch TV. I don't do it with the purpose of zoning out though. I watch something popular and well-liked such as the LOR or Harry Potter to get new ideas on how I can develop my story and apply their in-depth world-building ideas to help develop mine. Without plagarizing of course!!!!

Zoning out and daydreaming. As I have mentionned before, daydreaming is a huge part of my story outlining and world-building process. I'll stand in the shower, or take a walk and think about how my charcaters would act/react/behave in situations, mundane or not. Doing this gives me a better sense of my characters, and sometimes gives me ideas for scenes I use later on.

Work on writing related projects. These work well at keeping me distracted while still being productive on my writing goals. Example, I have one story I am working now, I made a new language (alphabet and numbers included) to include as a cool and fun component for the book. So, at times when I don't wan't to write, I continue creating the dictionary (very fun, 8/10 would recommend). Also, for the same book, my characters don't work off the Georigian calendar and 24 hour clock, so I've been working at creating a new calendar (harder than it seems, 2.5/10 dont recommend). These are side projects that help my story, without having to write.

Reading. You saw this one coming, I know. Reading is great, especially when you're editing, your writing style will unconsciously change to be more similar the author you were just reading. Also, most importantly, I'll be reading and think, "this story is really good, but you know what story I like even better? Mine." then change to writing.

This one is my biggest life saver!! I learnt about a year ago that sometimes I'll get bored of writing a story, and have difficulty keeping on track. That's why I finished my first book in 2016 and just started editing the first draft last week. The solution for me was to work on multiple projects at once, because it was much harder to be bored of multiple stories. I stick to 2, but will sometimes add a third. This is easy for me, because I have a list of over a dozen series I want to write. Don't abandon one project for another, use them as a distraction/ motivation for each other, so you're always furthering at least one project. I've never heard someone say, "oh no, i accidentally worked on this other writing project for three months instead of the other writing project I was doing. Dammit." No, we're just happy we have written something. Be sure to have well outlined story lines before starting, don't just start writing randomly or you'll reach a point where you don't know where to go from there.

Author/ writer projects. Maybe this is building a following, or community to share your projects and engage with. Tumblr, Insta, Reddit, whatever it is. My hope this year is to start up my website to offer publishing services (editing, graphic design, short writing courses) and build a following as a writer. (See what I did there? Never a bad time to self-promote ;) ) Having your own projects like this will help you in the future when you're going to try to publish and sell your books!

Talk with friends and a writing community. Never underestimate the passion that will burn inside you when talking about your story, or when others are talking about theirs. Surrounding yourself with a positive writing community can be the best thing for you as a writer.

Write or read (your story) every day. I'm not going to be one of those people that say you need to write 1000 words a day, that's a lot. But maybe try for 100? That could maybe only take 5 minutes, and at the end of the year that's still over 36 thousand words of a novel. Or just read your story, and I've always found it helped me get in the creative mood.

Make a playlist of songs that remind you of your characters, your story, or just puts you in the mood to write. Then play it ONLY when you're having trouble writing. Playing it while writing will not help, you'll get annoyed with the songs.

Just really can't do it today? That's okay, take a break. You deserve it. There's always tomorrow.

Does anyone else have ways they push themselves to keep writing? Let us know in the comments!

Happy Writing!

[toki-woki-fnaf]

"As a new Faz-Trainee, you are mandated to be taught by our new and improved Helpi model."

In 3 Lives at Freddy's: Follow The Yellow Rabbit you will have a new buddy throughout it all, say hello to Helpi! He's a great conversationalist and a great source of information for your new job. He'll learn how to best suit your needs as he learns more about you, way better than any in-person job training!

WELCOME BACK TO 3LAF!!! With 3LAF: GOLDEN THREAD ENDING IN SEPTEMBER, ITS TIME TO TEASE THE NEXT!!! If joining a Minecraft Third Life server based fully on fnaf and a unique fnaf mod interests you then I'm happy to announce that Invites are open yet again for 3LAF:FTYR! Before you do ask to join or if you want more information then I do suggest looking at our posts for the first 3LAF (Introduction, Animatronic Reveal) and 3LAF:Golden Thread (Introduction 2, Animatronic Reveal 2, Structure Reveal) to get a good vibe on what its about, although both may have incorrect information as they are older! For FTYR we will be having a fun fnaf twist on the Boogeyman mechanic which will be explained in the next teaser more specifically!!! FTYRs start date is around mid-november to december at its latest and will run every saturday from 1PM to 6PM pst (It is that long so people can join late and or take breaks, you do not have to stay for all 5 hours and you may join late into the time <3) 20 out of the 36 slots are currently full so there is plenty of space to come join in as either a player, spectator or backup player, send me a tumblr message asking to join and bam if slots are up then you're in! A note for any players who are wanting in, you got to have a skin that is at least a little vaguely tied to fnaf and I heavily recommend making a character for when you play in sessions, a lot of players use this opportunity to do a lot of roleplay and make silly guys (I suggest looking at the #3laf #3laf-gt and i think #3laf art tag as there you can see a lot of the players FUCKING BANGER ART AND CHARACTERS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH!!!!)

Regardless, thank you for reading!!! I am the sole modder that makes this mod so it's very very fun to be able to show my work in these silly little teasers, on a more developer side: Coding Helpi has been such a pleasure and such a nightmare, i've had to rewrite his code twice... the second time I fully coded his main system and as soon as a celebrated it all got corrupted... only Helpi got corrupted which was quite ironic. I'm giving this one an extra month and a half as I don't want to burnout on developing but I've been having a very silly time with what I have been coding, I'm very excited to see people go silly with all the new stuff!!!! <3 <3 <3

[autball]

Part 2 of a 5 part series about the ways harmful practices can be made to sound more appealing and how to spot the differences between helpful and harmful approaches. Self-regulation skills for kids are all the rage right now, and there are lots of people who will tell you that they have just the program for that. Which sounds awesome, right? Self-regulation is great! Who wouldn’t want that for their kid who is just so upset all the time?

The problem is that these people think self-regulation is just a set of skills you can teach someone. Or even better, that if you ignore a person in distress long enough, they’ll magically come up with those skills on their own. (Like, what even is that logic? Oh right, it’s the same thinking that makes people believe the Cry It Out method for babies is a good idea.)

But that’s not how that works. Self-regulation skills come from safe co-regulation, and the learning begins in infancy. Then it takes YEARS of more co-regulation and brain development to get to a place where a person can even start to recognize the need for and use those skills of their own volition.

Oh, and they also have to have enough time NOT in distress to even know what it feels like to feel safe and regulated in the first place. They need room to develop said self-regulation skills. You can’t just keep a kid in a pressure cooker all the time and expect them to learn how to “regulate” through it (which is exactly what many people are doing to the autistic and ADHD kids they put through these programs).

When you try to teach self-regulation skills to a stressed out, traumatized child without doing ANYTHING to make their environment safer and less demanding, or doing ANYTHING to make yourself a safe co-regulator, the most you can hope for is that your child gets good at *acting* calm and *performing* regulation skills (and that’s if it doesn’t just backfire completely). But the inner turmoil is still there, and they still have no idea how to deal with it.

And kids who are left alone in their distress don’t “develop skills.” At least not any healthy ones. They just keep crying or lashing out until they can’t anymore, and they learn that no one cares to help them in their darkest moments. If you do it long enough, you might even push them into shutdown or fawn mode, which is super convenient for the adults, but devastating for the child. For the record, breathing exercises are not inherently bad. Neither is learning to recognize body sensations or what “zone” you’re in or any of the other things that can help with self-awareness (as long as we’re not sending the message that certain feelings are “good” or “bad”). It’s just that those things don’t work for everyone, and they’re not a substitute for safety and co-regulation.

Kids need safe adults, and they need to be around them more for than just an hour or two a week in therapy session. It’s the *caregivers* who need to learn *co-regulation skills,* not the children who need to learn self-regulation skills. It’s the *adults* who need to de-stress the child’s life, not the child who needs to learn how to handle overwhelming amounts of stress better. And it’s the *adult’s* job to nurture self-regulation, not a child’s job to try and figure it out on their own.

(There’s even more to self-regulation than this, of course, like the sensory processing element and the fact that being regulated is not just about being “calm,” and I’ll touch more on those in tomorrow’s post about Frustration Tolerance.)

I learned most of what I know about how children develop self-regulation through co-regulation from Mona Delahooke, and I highly recommend her work if you want to learn more about it. Trauma Geek also has information on how to find felt safety as an adult if you didn't get enough co-regulation growing up. https://www.traumageek.com/blog/3-foundational-truths-about-nervous-system-science

P.S. Did you know you can co-regulate with animals, too, or even a tree?! They might not be the greatest at modeling skills or validating your feelings, but they can still contribute to felt safety.

[genericpuff]

When it comes to a drawing tablet do you recommend a beginner get one with a screen or one without specifically for webcomics?

So what you use the tablet for ultimately doesn't matter. Webcomics, illustration, animation, they're just different expressions of the same overall skillset. I've gone from using desk tablets to screen tablets and then back to desk tablets again. My current setup is a Huion Inspiroy Giano which is a very large desk tablet (no screen) with a Huion Kamvas 22 Plus as my display (screen).

(hi jim lol)

Now this obviously seems INCREDIBLY redundant but the reason why it's like that is because I used to use the Huion Kamvas 22 Plus as my screen tablet... until the pen input stopped working :)""" But it still works perfectly fine as a display! When I was shopping around for new drawing tablets though, I wasn't sure if I wanted to take the financial risk on another screen tablet. The Huions are a lot cheaper than the Wacom models which is great for people looking for inexpensive options, but if it meant I'd have to replace my screen tablets more often than my old Wacom Cintiq, then it wasn't gonna be worth it (but I didn't want to dump $2k on a tablet again LOL)

So I wound up getting a desk tablet instead! I had used Wacom desk tablets a lot prior to screens, and while it had been a few years, I re-adjusted in no time. The Huion Inspiroy Giano is, so far, a very reliable tablet. It just connects with a USB, no crazy 3-in-1 cables like the screen displays. It satisfies my need for a large tablet (seriously, if I can offer any piece of advice in regards to tablets, size does often matter because if a tablet is too small you'll be over-relying on your wrist for motions which isn't good for line integrity or your hand health!!!!) but it didn't break my budget like the Wacom tablets (and didn't feel as risky as buying another Kamvas 22 Plus after what happened the last time).

The only downside to it is that it has a bit of a rough surface to it which I find does a lot of initial wearing down on the nibs. I mean fr look at this thing-

And that will happen after only like, a few hours of use LOL that said, I've been using this nib for like 2 months now and it hasn't worn down more than that, so if you don't mind your nibs having a visible slant to them, it really doesn't cause any other issues.

That said, I've only had this tablet for about half a year now. I also used to sing praises for the Kamvas 22 Plus until it suddenly decided it wasn't going to work anymore without explanation, so... take my review of the Inspiroy Giano with grains of salt. At least though if this thing mysteriously stops working like the Kamvas did, I'll only have to pay $200-$300 to replace it vs. the Kamvas' $700+. It's still not a small amount of money, but it pays itself off quickly (and it's a lot cheaper compared to the equivalent Intuos Pro line from Wacom, which costs upwards of $500+ for a decently sized one).

Screen tablets are definitely helpful to have though, and I wouldn't object to returning to the screen displays once I can justify dropping money on one again. I still use a screen display on the go via my iPad Pro. But I don't think desk tablets should be taken for granted as a perfectly viable tool either, I think the initial learning curve tends to intimidate people a lot, but they're really quite comfortable to use once you adjust to the translation of desk tablet to monitor. You can also adjust the screen settings through the tablet driver anyways, which is what I did for my tablet because it was a little too big in spots where I had to reach really far to get to the color wheel tab on the right... so I just reduced the screen ratio to make up for it :)

I find once you learn how to use both - and learn your foundations in digital art - the desk tablet vs. screen tablet debate just boils down to personal preference rather than any real difference in what they can do for your art. I've drawn stuff like Rekindled on screen displays, desk tablets, iPads, etc. You might try a desk tablet and not like it after a while (though again, with the initial skill ceiling of adjusting to it, give it a few weeks of trying if you can, you will not immediately get used to it overnight!!!) and decide that screen tablets are more up your alley.

It really depends on what you're wanting to pay for a tablet. Though like with any new skillset that you're just getting into, I wouldn't recommend dropping money on the most expensive tool because ultimately the differences between expensive and cheap aren't going to be noticeable to you until you actually learn the skill itself, and it's not uncommon at all for people to pick up a new skill, shell out shitloads to learn it, and then get discouraged when it takes a while and makes the expense feel like a waste. Those higher end tablets are often more suited for professionals, not because they're "only meant for pros", but because pros will be able to fully utilize all their upper-skill features in a way a newbie who's still learning how to use a desk tablet won't.

Thankfully, it's easier than ever to get an affordable tablet that's easy to learn and Wacom is no longer the "only option", so I highly recommend looking into brands like Huion, XP-Pen, and Gaomon, as they offer very inexpensive tablets with a wide array of options from desk tablets to screen displays. Make sure you do your research on them, check out places like reddit for actual human reviews, note that every brand and tablet will come with their pros and cons, so it's really just about weighing out what you feel will work best for you and what you're trying to achieve!

And of course, if you're looking to draw comics specifically, look into Clip Studio Paint! It goes on sale at least twice a year, the PRO version is literally all you need to get started (EX comes with some helpful features like Teamwork, but like those fancy high end tablets, they won't necessarily be useful to someone who's just starting out). The PRO version comes with all the rulers, panel cutters, text tools, etc. that you need to get into making comics, it's a great piece of software !!!

I hope that helps!!! Best of luck!! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[lycandrophile]

i’m getting my drains out tomorrow and i’m sure things will be different after they’re gone, so here’s my observations about top surgery recovery as of 6 days post-op!

(click here for my first post, from 3 days after)

something i forgot to mention in my last post is that if they tell you a medication has to be taken with food, do not fuck with that. absolutely do not. my antibiotic had to be taken with food and on day 2, i thought “well, i just had breakfast not too long ago, surely that’s close enough and i’ll be fine” and my parents agreed, but guess what? i spent the next hour in hell. the meds made me nauseous so i had to eat, but eating still hurt a lot because of the sore throat from being intubated, so trying to make it better just caused me more pain. and both the sore throat and the nausea (which i guess was as much a heartburn sort of situation as it was nausea) were both very chest-adjacent feelings, so that on top of the usual pain and discomfort from surgery was just a perfect storm of horrible things all centralized to one part of my body. it was awful, and i will never fuck around with something like that again. that being said, if you do find yourself in that situation or are just looking for something light that will still do the job because you’re not that hungry, 10/10 would recommend oatmeal and apple sauce. apple sauce is what finally got my body to stop rioting against me and my bad decisions, and after that i started always taking it halfway through a bowl of oatmeal and that worked perfectly.

on day 4, i was able to sit up and get out of bed by myself for the first time! i still can’t do it just by using my core muscles, but if i hold onto my legs and lower them, i can sort of roll myself up into a sitting position without using any of the affected muscles too much.

on day 5, the sore throat from hell that being intubated gave me finally went away! cheers to not gripping my pillow in pain every two seconds while i swallow my spit anymore. it lasted a while, but it honestly went away pretty fast — on day 4 it was a bit better than it had been, and then the next day it was just gone.

also on day 5, i really started to feel the bandages digging into my armpits. i’m not sure if it’s because the bandage has been slipping up over time, if my armpits have some extra swelling now, or if it’s just been wearing my body down over time, but it feels like it’s starting to cut off circulation at a certain point and it makes my arms ache sometimes. that’s probably not great, but the surgeon will be redoing everything at my post-op anyway so i’ve just been riding it out until then. in the meantime, i can tell it’s definitely worse when i’m sitting back and kind of slouched (because that position pushes it up more), so i try to sit up or walk around when i feel it. having pillows on either side of me to put my elbows up on definitely also helps a lot — that’s how i’ve been sleeping, but it would be good for just sitting too.

also also on day 5, i started getting this weird fluttery feeling in the spot where the left side of my chest and the meat of my left armpit connect. it feels like it’s probably some sort of muscle spasm. it’s not painful at all, but i honestly wish it was because it’s just super weird and uncomfortable instead and i hate it. it genuinely might be my least favorite out of any pains or sensations i’ve had so far. luckily, though, it seems like it’s already died down and only happened a couple times today.

my energy has been all over the place. i’m at the point now where mentally i’m much closer to my normal state so i’m once again having the adhd urge to constantly do stuff, but my body’s ability to keep up is far less consistent. sometimes i get restless and can just get up and pace around for a while, but other times i try to do that and get really quickly exhausted. i’m definitely more able to have conversations and feel more like myself now though, even when my body is tired out.

i’ve been thirsty as all hell the past few days. i feel like i’m constantly asking my boyfriend to refill my water for me because i drain it so fast. it’s a very specific kind of thirst, too — like it never quite goes away even when i’m definitely very thoroughly hydrated, and like anything but water can’t even touch it. it’s not a bad thing, getting lots of fluids after surgery is important and i wouldn’t be surprised if that’s exactly why my body is doing it, but it is a bit frustrating to just be incessantly thirsty for days at a time.

my walking posture is getting straighter every day. i still have to hold my chest to walk because of the bandage feeling like it drags things down, but if i’m walking with my mastectomy pillow, it mostly just looks like a typical slouch and not the deep hunch i started with.

at this point, my chest is super sensitive to any kind of movement, and that’s the other thing the pillow has been really good for at this stage. if the bandage shifts at all, if my body moves at all, basically anything — i feel it all in my chest really intensely. it’s not always painful, but it isn’t comfortable either. holding the pillow to my chest helps stabilize things so the movement doesn’t reach the sensitive parts as much, which is really great.

walking up stairs is easier than walking down stairs, which is the exact opposite of what i would’ve guessed. from what i can tell just from moving around, i think it’s because bending your legs up to a higher step pretty solidly relies on your legs and lower core muscles to make it happen, while reaching your legs down to a lower step requires stretching your body out (which is famously not your body’s favorite thing to do after top surgery). it often feels like i almost can’t reach the step below and have to just barely catch it with the balls of my feet. it’s also just generally been good to take the stairs super slow going up or down because you really can’t use the railing — putting enough weight on it to really rely on it at all requires using chest muscles, so the best i’ve been able to do is just rest my hand on it in case of emergency (because i’d rather hurt my chest than crack my head open if it comes to that).

one of the things that makes the stairs hard is that my center of balance is off from hunching, and that definitely affects my walking too. it’s less pronounced now that i’m in the habit of using the pillow to walk straighter, but i have to take shorter strides and sort of shuffle around because longer strides need better balance, and even with the shuffle i’m stumbling more than usual. i already have some balance problems so i’m pretty used to the feeling of it, but it has freaked my parents out a couple times to see me start listing to one side before i catch myself.

fuck reflexes. reflexes are the actual worst. something i didn’t anticipate is that no matter how careful you are to not reach your arms too far or move them too fast, you can never totally account for what you do if something starts falling. a few times now, i’ve definitely reached too far or fast before stopping myself because i saw something about to go down and my brain instinctively told my hands to catch it. i’m not sure if there’s anything you can really do about that, but it’s worth being aware of because it caught me by surprise the first time i did it.

one side of my chest has been consistently more swollen than the other. that side has also consistently drained less, and the fluid it does drain is darker and redder. we asked my surgeon if that was normal and she said there’s almost always one side that drains more than the other, but it’s still something we’ve been keeping an eye on. hopefully i’ll be able to get a more concrete answer at my post-op, once she can see the swelling up close and look at the drainage numbers from the past week.

as i’ve been getting some use of my body back, the pain in my chest has gotten a bit more obvious. it’s milder pain, and when i’m not doing anything it’s mostly painless to the point where i’m going a lot longer between tylenol doses, but when i’m using my body, i can definitely feel it. the fact that i’m not avoiding physical activity like the plague as much means i’m noticing more pain even though objectively my pain levels have gone down — the things that hurt now didn’t hurt less before, i just didn’t even attempt them before because i knew they would hurt so much. now that the pain is down, i can try more things, which means i’m more likely to try something that ends up hurting. of course, you should always try to follow the if-it-hurts-then-stop rule, but you can’t avoid the pain altogether as you learn your body’s boundaries, so i ended up getting to a point where getting better feels like getting worse.

on that note, i’ve also learned that there’s a pretty distinct difference between milder “i should proceed with caution” pain and intense “stop what you’re doing right now” pain. as much as avoiding things that hurt is ideal, it’s not always realistic, but my body has definitely been very clear in telling me what i can and can’t compromise on. in the beginning i was really paranoid about doing anything that caused any pain at all, but now i’m more familiar with where i can push a bit further if needed and where i really need to hold off.

i’ve been getting chills much more easily lately, and they’ve also been SUPER strong. i’ll be watching a show or listening to music and something will give me chills, and it’s a really intense feeling all across my ribs, and even thinking about the thing that caused it brings on a whole new wave. i’m super curious to see if it’s just a temporary result of my nerves doing their thing or if it’ll stick around long-term. it’s not unpleasant at all, i honestly really like it.

i got some food for myself for the first time today (day 6) and it just involved slicing some pretty soft cheese, but wow, it was a workout for my shoulder. i’m guessing it’s because i haven’t really used my muscles in that way for a week, and because not being able to use my chest muscles means i was relying on my shoulder a lot more to do all the work of moving my arm. by the time i was done, just holding the block of cheese to put it back in the fridge felt like lifting weights.

i didn’t change my shirt the first few days but i’ve changed a few times now, and we’ve perfected the art of getting a button up shirt on me without overreaching my arms at all. basically, you want to put both arms into the sleeves before you lift the shirt up onto your shoulders, because once the shirt is on one shoulder, you have to reach back a lot farther to get to the other sleeve. once you have both arms in, you can lift it onto your shoulders and button it. ideally, whoever’s helping you should do most of the work to pull the sleeves over your arms so you don’t have to stretch your arm out to get them on. i’m sure that’ll be overkill once i have a bit more mobility, but for now, it works great. it definitely would be tough if the shirt was fitted though, so i’m glad i went up a size.

i hope my posts like this have been helpful, or at least interesting to read! i’ll definitely keep updating as time goes on and things change, and i’m also going to work on a breakdown of my experience at the hospital pre- and post-op, as well as my post-op appointment experience once that happens tomorrow.

y’all are getting the good, the bad, and the ugly of my recovery experience. i know a lot of this has been very focused on the bad and the ugly so far because surgery is generally rough, but i’m going to see my chest again tomorrow so stay tuned for some good!

[octuscle]

Greetings. recently, my gym at home was closed and I had to go to a gym in a nearby disadvantaged area. I'm going there for the first time today.. a strange place.. they have a dress code there (only T-shirts and shorts) and some kind of Chronivac competition is taking place there. Do you think I didn't make a mistake by signing up here?

First day: I stand out here in the studio with my workout clothes. Most beefcakes wear old, worn-out and washed-out clothes made of sweat fabric. With my new brand-name clothes made of high-tech functional fibers, I'm an exotic. I also stand out in other ways. I think I'm the only member without a tattoo or a beard. And the only one who showers after training. In any case, the only one who uses shower gel and deodorant.

Second day: I took a two-day break from training. This actually stood out. When I was on the leg press, a colossus came up to me and asked where I had been. I explained to him that my last personal trainer recommended not working out more than three times a week. The response was "Bullshit, lil' brother. Just listen to meh now. I expect to see ya 'ere any day. An' put on more weoit." His stench was numbing. I didn't dare disagree.

Day Three: Phil from the front desk greeted me with Fistbump. He hands me a canister of protein shake. Bonus for working out two days in a row. Hehehe, hope it helps. I'm still one of the little lads here. But thanks to the protein shake, at least I can fart like the beefcakes… My beard is coming along nicely… I'm starting to look like a man.

Fourth day: I've been wearing mah gym clothes continuously for 24 hours now. And of that, i've been pumping iron for 12 hours. Ano every pumper in da gym by name. I feel loik i was in kindergarten wiv 'en. Or in juvie. We're a toit-knit community here. We don't loik to see new members… Gaz asks if i'll work out da chest wiv him today. Sure thing!

Day Five: Tyler says none of da bruhs expected da chronivac settings to have such an effect on meh. I don't understand a word he's saying. Must be some bro beefcake stuff. I really have a lot to learn. But da workout was great! i'm pretty darn happy wiv da results. But d'er iz still a lot to do. Set new record for barbell curls today.

Day six: Dwayne gave meh 1 of his t-shirts 2day. Stinks worse then dwayne himself. But my old 1 looks all pussy and is 2 smol 2. Tyler asked if id liek 2 start working fo' his company as a mover. It's finally a job fr men. And so the move 2 the new apartment will b cheaper, 2. The old 1 is just 2 far away frum the gym

I found the intermediate state of your development @bestvideosmuscle

[yukasyukasyukasyukas]

Random valorant agents headcanons bc I'm sleep deprived

(this means I didn't get my 12 hours of sleep today)

Brimstone

Hugest ally on the VP (which, lets be honest, doesn't mean much since they're all gay)

First person KJ came out to and he was so emotional about it

Constantly tries to get the agents to get closer or at least respect each other but after Cypher mentioned how him and Breach treat one another he gave up

Calls some agents (Viper, Sage and Killjoy) by their first names on the everyday and calls Sova, Chamber and Deadlock (the other ex militars) by their last names

I wanted to hc him an American football team but idk any💞💞💞

Viper

Brimstone and Vyse are the only ones to call her Sabine bc they know her since before the "incident"

KJ also used to call her Sabine before the VP but Viper was bitter abt agents calling her by her first name

Scared for her life of failing Reyna, not because she actually fears her, but because she actually cares about Lucia

Older sister who lost contact with her family

Aroace

Has a snake named Viper that is older than the protocol

Omen

Is annoyed by people mistaking knitting with crochet

Very kind to the younger agents

In his own way though

Killjoy

Has an older sister who doesn't talk to her since she was a teenager

HOW DOES ONE BECOME THE LEAD OF A WHOLE DIVISION ON SUCH A HUGE CORPORATION AT THE AGE OF 18???!$+2+_(not a hc, just a concern)

The fact her dad died before she was born probably has something to do with her closeness to Cypher and Brimstone

Rich af but rents an apartment with another girl and that place is absolutely precarious

Pays the rent monthly even if she doesn't spend a single night there

Has a huge lesbian flag on the living room and that has gotten her very straight roommate into delicate situations with her boyfriends

Her roommate is Brazilian from São Paulo bc I want her to

Very easily impressed by anything Raze does even if it's something she can do a thousand times better

I feel like she would main a duelist if she played val, probably Reyna or Raze

Cypher

Has a picture of his wife and kids on his bedside table

He keeps Nora's favorite clothing and his children's baby toys

Girl dad obv

Killjoy reminds him of his oldest daughter and sometimes he calls her his daughter's name

Hates kingdom but since he joined the protocol he learned how to convive with their workers, even if he doesn't like it most part of the time

Scares little kids on Roblox for fun

Wouldn't mind having a relationship with a man but after Nora he can't imagine himself in another relationship so he doesn't give it a try

(I love him and Nora😭)

Sova

Calls the other agents by their first names

Was friends with Sage since before the protocol

Recommend Sage to Brimstone

One of the only coworkers Viper enjoys the company of

Once he tried to speak Spanish to mess around with Reyna and Raze swore he was speaking Portuguese bc of the accent

Trans bc I want to project into my fav characters

Morning walks

Sage

Calls everyone by their first names

Has two younger siblings but she hasn't had notice of them since she started the monk training

Misses them

Met Skye when researching about her healing powers, Skye was doing the same

Born radiant

Great at cooking but Jett gaslit her into thinking it was bad as a joke and she still believes it

After Harbor joined the VP she got back into cooking

Lesbian bc I said so

Not much close to the other women in the protocol, only Skye, Jett, Neon and Reyna

Closer to the men on the VP (Sova, Brimstone, Cypher, Iso, Omen etc)

Doesn't have a clue of why Clove doesn't like her

Phoenix

Nerd

This man is a canon theater kid, he absolutely LOVES musicals, specially Hamilton and Jett and Raze tease him Abt being British and liking it

Bi

For some reason Jett gaslights him into thinking he's actually gay, obviously never worked

Him and Jett break up for the most ridiculous reasons, they've already broken up more times than one can count on fingers

Banned from every kitchen he steps on

Learned Korean só Jett would shut up about her being bilingual while he only spoke English

Once he let Astra undo his dreads to give him braids, it was the saddest day of his life

Raze bullies him for his style💔💔💔💞

Jett

Can cook five stars dinners but insists on eating leftovers she finds on the fridge and steals from the other agents

Doesn't dare touching Chamber's "monstrosities of dishes"

Makes people their favorite dinner and a special breakfast on their birthdays

Cooks for the whole protocol on weekends

Most my hc surround on the fact she's always eating something and was a chef😔

Gaslights everyone into believing the most random and/or stupid things and has actually convinced Gekko that dog is a common dish in east Asia

First thing she asks every east Asian she meets outside of east Asia is if they eat dog

Sage was mad at her for this

Also bi

Reyna

Actually very caring and worried for most agents

Siblings relationship with Yoru

Randomly starts speaking Spanish to Sage just to annoy her

Learned Chinese just to mess around with Sage

Lesbiana

Flirts with Breach as a joke

Iso actually believed she and Breach were a couple when he arrived

Homophobic to Raze and Killjoy

Non ironically has offered to find Raze a better girlfriend than Killjoy

Wants to be a mother but can't because of her duties and Sage doesn't like children

Raze

BRAZILIPPINES

Hugest anarcocomunist

Grafitti artist

Has sent Kingdom, Killjoy and Viper dozens of blackmails before joining the protocol

Didn't like Killjoy for her first years in the protocol

Boombot was created as a "rebellion" from Killjoy's tech with an alarmbot that Kingdom placed near her house

Has a younger brother who is her absolutely whole world

Capoeira.

Breach

Actually speaks Portuguese very well

Dad jokes

Hates children and the only exception is Raze's younger brother

Please please please please please read the joke I posted😭

Didn't get along with Deadlock nor Chamber at first

Gets along well with Cypher, Harbor and Fade

Likes men and makes it everyone's business and is very annoying to homophobes about it (bi)

Has kissed Harbor once just to see the look of terror on a homophobic guy's eyes

Skye

Lesbian

Owes a personal gun that she uses to scare bigots and idiots in general

Was guilty about rejecting Yoru

Still is very close to him

Skyelock beloved

The ship name should be changed to Hiking Buddies or something

Can make a cat with her powers and it plays with Nightmare when it's starting to affect Fade too much

Closer to Fade than most agents think

Morning walks with Sova and Deadlock

Yoru

Has a huge knowledge on east Asian culture in general

Speaks ainu and a little uchinaguchi

Values culture and tradition more than his life

Constantly educating Jett on Korean traditions???

Mansplains a lot

Neon (single) teases him for being single

Has the "lesbian curse" in which every woman he likes is a lesbian and it's starting to develop into an "aroace curse"

Homophobic to Killjoy

Misogynist to Killjoy

everything you can think that is bad against Killjoy

And Reyna is with him on these

Astra

Pansexual

Nerd on physics

Knows a lot about quantum physics

That was me projecting, sorry

I need more astra content to make more headcanons 😔😔😔

Galaxsea/ astrarbor/ Neptune/ sea star

Born radiant

KAY/O

Doesn't actually have feelings, he's just programmed to make humans feel loved (besides, obviously, being a war machine)

It was a way of keeping the non radiant soldiers hopeful during the radiant war

He's a robot, of course he doesn't have feelings

Killjoy is absolutely fascinated by him and wonders if it was her who built him or at least made his project

The "hatred" he has for the radiants is also a way of keeping the non radiants feeling safe and appreciated

Sage is the exception from his radiant hatred because she's always appeared to be against Reyna's radiant dominant ideal world and he read that as a powerful ally to his cause

He's AI ofc he's gonna be a little dumb even though he's from like 2060

Chamber

I refuse to

Does he like men?

Was homophobic to Killjoy and Raze when they started dating and to Sage and Reyna

Was actually homophobic

Turned out he likes men???

I'm confused

I don't like him

Neon

BRAZILIPPINES

She probably knew Killjoy before the VP or at least heard about her not as an professional but as a person

Definitely likes women

Since she became a radiant at such a young age and os so powerful there were probably lots of accidents

Was mostly isolated from the outside for a long time before the thing that is sticked to her back was finished

That'd explain why she doesn't like making new friends, she doesn't know how to

Knows a lot of stuff involving quantum physics and science since her parents work at kingdom and she has worked with them

Fade

Constantly found sleeping on the floor

Sometimes she leaves Nightmare out of her bedroom to get a peaceful night of sleep

Goes to sleep on about the same time Skye is waking up

Fadelock goes hard too

You'll rarely see her awake but when you do she looks like she hasn't slept in a decade

Doesn't actually sleep, just take 30 min naps throughout the day

Took a while to stop calling Harbor "agent Batra" during missions

I just checked and that is lore inaccurate but idc

Likes men and women, never stopped to think of it as "oh, I'm lgbt" that's just one more small detail about her

Had a cat that her brother gave her when she was a kid, it died of kidney failure a few years before she joined realm

Harbor

History and architecture nerd

Also a philosophy enthusiast

Has a tattoo that says "Memento mori et memento vivere" and that's what caught Astra's attention at first

Him and Astra spend a lot of time just nerding around

He's very caring yet not much protective to the younger agents

Randomly throws water at people who walk by

Breach and Deadlock learned on the hardest way not to be around him with a glass of water

Calls Fade Hazel because at first he thought that was how it was and never corrected it

Older brother of two sister

Pansexual

Gekko

Grafitti artist

Is an only child but is very close to the children is his neighborhood

Gay

That guy looks so gay I'm gonna cry

Has a dog named Lizard

Him and Raze talk to each other in Spanish and Portuguese and it's an absolute nightmare for others to decifrate their alien language

Asked Sage if people actually eat dogs in Asia and was punished for a week, Reyna had lots of fun

Jett still teases him about it

She told Iso about that and every time Gekko asks him what he's eating he says it's dog

Him and Deadlock are actually chill about each other for as long as one doesn't cross the other's boundaries when it comes to his radivores

Deadlock

This woman doesn't have a drop of heterosexuality on her body

She thought she liked Iso but it turned out he was just the only one not asking her to get along with radivores and radiants

Hates when she's called by her first name

Skye, Sage and Sova call her Iselin or Ise

Lost contact with her family and legally got rid of her last name Legally got rid of her last name as a way to try to protect her parents from potential threats related to her missions (edited bc apparently Frøya and Anna were indeed Iselin's sisters and I was too stupid to notice)

Fadeskyelock(?)

Used to go on lots of missions involving radivores before the VP but after the polar bear she didn't trust herself near them again

Graduated in biology

She wanted to be a scientist when she was a kid

Used to be obsessed about radivores and radiance before the bear

Iso

Can't cook for his life

Used to think he liked Deadlock but it was just compulsory heterosexuality

Aroace

Not much close with most agents but Sage and Deadlock

Him and Raze are absolute nightmares to go in mission with, those mfs listent to music so loud they can't hear anything else

KJ was scared of him

Only listens to music that are on languages he doesn't speak

Raze showed him Brazilian funk and he started listening to it during missions

Clove

Don't give a shit if they're misgendered

The pet rock is to throw at those who insist that they're a woman even after they correct them

Sleeps the whole day and is awake during the whole night

Immortal, queer, sleeps during the day... Are they a vampire?!

Randomly dresses up fancy and stays on that fit for the whole day, they can be seen wearing a suit during missions in breeze

Spends all their time awake doing unproductive stuff

Vyse

Was a physicist and later got into engeneering

She can't really remember those last years before the scions took her

Was took by the scions by Omen but none of them know

Doesn't like Iso

Her and Viper used to be very close friends, their friendship cou be compared to Jett and Phoenix's, they were very spontaneous

The "incident" was something involving her but no one really remember how it was

Ace

Had a cat named Jaguar

[nyaagolor]

Now that you’ve played through all the episodes, how would you rank them?

Oooo this is tough, in part bc I like all of them a LOT. The designations between a few of them, especially in the middle category, are gonna be kinda arbitrary, but I'll do my best :)

Also this got stupid long so I put it under a readmore! Spoilers abound, as one might expect

8. Dawn of the Golden Witch (Episode 6)

I have some... mixed feelings on this one. I understand what Ryukishi was going for in using chick-Beato and Battler's interactions to parallel Battler with Kinzo and show Kinzo's dynamic with Kuwadorian Beatrice via analogy, but I also think it kinda fumbles a bit. There are points (cookie scene being a big one) where I feel like the characters take a backseat to the themes and the whole narrative feels off. Chapters 5 and 6 are supposed to be a perversion of the original story that Beatrice has lost control over, but there are points during 6 especially where I think it kinda loses itself. The rest of it is great (Erika's VA is a goddamn champion) but the very beginning of this chapter is easily my least favorite part of the series

7. Requiem of the Golden Witch (Episode 7)

I don't really have strong feelings on this episode. It would have been the high point in just about any other VN, but Umineko is so consistently fantastic that Episode 7 didn't really hit me as hard as the others. It did make me wish we got more Kyrie though, even if I know exactly why she wasn't as prominent as many of the others. Kind of insane that my second least-favorite arc is something I would rank like an 8 or 9 out of 10, Umineko is just that goated (get it???)

6. Turn of the Golden Witch (Episode 2)

While I do love watching the worst woman ever conceived have a 48 hour progressive mental breakdown, Alliance hits every point I like about the Rosa / Maria dynamic but does it better. It's still an arc I absolutely adore, so it feels weird to rank it so low, but I think about it a lot less than the other arcs so down here it goes. Shoutout to this arc for making me laugh to the point I could no longer speak not once, but twice. Kanon chuuni jacket and leashed Battler you will always be famous

5. Twilight of the Golden Witch (Episode 8)

I know that ranking episode 8 in the bottom half sounds like sacrilege but this arc had so much Kinzo and while I understand his narrative importance I Do Not Like Him. The fact that Kinzo is in the Golden Land but Kuwadorian Beatrice isn't makes me want to throw bricks at things. Other than that though, absolutely stellar. I bawled at the ending. The next day I thought about it more, misinterpreted it, and cried more, then I thought about it more deeply and talked with friends, really started to understand the core messages, and sobbed even harder. As these things tend to go. This episode ruined my life. Would recommend.

4. Legend of the Golden Witch (Episode 1)

note: 4 and 3 are interchangeable I like them both a lot for different reasons

The first time I read this episode, I thought it was great. The further I got into Umineko, the better it got. Now, with a full understanding of the plot and knowing how this chapter serves as self-reflection through the other (Sayo via Natsuhi) it serves as probably the most raw glimpse into Sayo's mindset we get. This episode ruins me and I'm pretty sure when I inevitably reread it I am going to dissolve into a puddle of goo. Also Natsuhi is there and she's my favorite of the matriarchs so I'm a little bit biased :)

3. Banquet of the Golden Witch (Episode 3)

This is one of the funniest pieces of literature I have ever read in my life. EVA-Beatrice, the entire sob story (that I, like Battler, fell for completely), the two towers fight scene... 10/10 no notes. I don't even have the words for how much I adored this one. I wish I could read it again for the first time.

2. Alliance of the Golden Witch (Episode 4)

Ok so fun fact I thought this arc was kinda boring at first, and was a little miffed I had to constantly go through Ange's little side quests when I just wanted to see Beatrice and Battler again. Fortunately, Ryukishi has a beautiful way of changing my mind very very quickly and the more I think about this Episode the more I love it. It has some of the most powerful emotional moments, a really good rehashing of the themes, and is a lot tighter and more condensed than I gave it credit for. There's a LOT that happens in this chapter, and it's been growing on me a lot-- while it doesn't take the number one spot in terms of my favorites, I do think it's the best written of the 8 episodes. As a bonus it focuses a lot on Maria who is one of the best characters ever and my darling baby angel.

End of the Golden Witch (Episode 5)

This is the platonic ideal of Umineko to me. The layers of metanarrative, the perversion of a formula to reiterate its structure, the use of genre conventions as a dual-use in-universe and metanarrative element, Erika. End of the Golden Witch is when I changed from someone who loved Umineko to someone who was obsessed with Umineko. The ending is one of the most visceral parts of the VN and I will fully admit I cried. There is so much happening in this episode I could talk about it all day. Also Natsuhi is there. Hey girlie <3

[lovewash3d-doll]

•.*🩰*.•.Tips on How to Write Consistently .*•🩰*•.

………………………………………………….………………………

I am a person that especially struggles to write consistently: I’ll have a month-long writing phase where I write every day and then months without scribbling a single word. Over the years, I’ve developed some tips and techniques to initiate my writing phases even when I’m in the pirouettes and twirls of stress or a lack of creativity. They may be helpful to you or anyone attempting to write a little more!

1) Mentally Schedule Writing Time 🩰

Scheduling writing time is beyond adding it to your to-do list or planner as it is often left unchecked and forgotten—I’ve very guilty. Instead, you have mentally schedule it and put it in your mentality that you will write today! Tightly affirm that you will write and put it high on your priorities for the day! If writing is an afterthought, it will also be an afterthought before bed and the following day. Determination is really key and so is sticking to your word!

It’s also important to plan writing at reasonable times and for reasonable durations. I tend to plan to write after I finish my schoolwork but, I always end up too worn out and tired and simply slip into to bed. Instead, plan to write at a time where you know you won’t have any distractions or other tasking taking priority. If you’re seeing a friend later, grab your laptop or pen in the two hour period before. If you’re busy for the day, wake up an hour early or sacrifice some of your phone scrolling time for a quick few paragraphs.

Additionally, don’t expect yourself to immediately write for long periods of time or write very much. Unrealistic, unattainable goals can very easily kill your spirits so it’s important to be realistic. Start with 30 minutes and with the goal of writing one scene and naturally, as you get more in the mood, those 30 minutes will expand to an hour or even longer and your story or piece will have a fresh page written soon enough.

2) Books, Movies, & Music🩰

Before attempting to write, I always try to create the perfect atmosphere even if I may not particularly be in the mood! If I want to get in a creative mindset overall, I love reading a book in my genre or watching a tv show or movie that relates to the topic or plot line of my story. I mainly recommend reading a book since absorbing writing is a great way reinforce oneself to write. I also create music playlists for every story and listen to a couple songs before my writing session! It definitely sets the tone and puts me in the mindset of my story!

3) Do a Writing Challenge 🩰

One of my grandest periods of consistant writing was thanks to a writing challenge I did! For a Creative Writing Class project, I decided to follow the writing routines of several authors and blog about my experience. I dedicated at least half an hour every day and my results were fruitful. Not only was it a fun experience but, it also reinforced me to write and I got a lot of insight into different approaches! Any writing challenge is a very good motivator and I highly recommend it! For my challenge, I specifically pulled writing routines from this book (linked).

4) Journal Sessions 🩰

If you especially struggle to carve out large portions of time for your writing on a daily basis, a great tip is using a journal! Whenever you have 10-15 minutes of down time, let your stream of consciousness flow and write any scene or stanza or any part of your larger piece. Don’t worry about its quality: it’s simply important that you scribble something down. Once you have a considerable amount of time to focus on your writing, transfer your notebook writings to your laptop and edit away! After a few quick journal sessions, you’ll have a decent amount of material that you can mold into draft. It’s a lot easier to edit than to stare at a blank page!

5) Trip to Barnes & Nobles 🩰

This is a very niche tip that only applies if you are planning on writing a novel and looking to publish! I love Barnes & Nobles and sometimes, when I’m in a large writing slump, I love visiting a store and taking in the smell of fresh books and tracing book spines on the shelves. Looking at new releases and imagining my own book on those shelves really motivates me to go home and pick up my pen! It reminds me of my goals and sends me into a larger writing phase!

I hope this helps! Reblogs are appreciated! 🩷

XOXO,

lovewashed doll🩰

[girl4music]

In celebration of XENA DAY I’m going to leave the link to this podcast episode that the She Nerds Out hosts did with Steven L. Sears right here and transcribe some of it for you that I find the most fascinating and validating in regards to how the TV show and TV ship inform and influence each other in that the story arc/plot/narrative always wraps around the characters of Xena and Gabrielle instead of the other way around.  

The way Steven (yes, a straight white middle aged man) talks about Xena and Gabrielle is remarkable to me. He has such respect and reverence and just absolute sincerity when he talks about them both as individual characters and as a relationship dynamic that is primarily and predominantly romantic in his eyes. He confirms exactly why I will always highly praise the creators/cast/crew for what they did with this TV show and this TV ship and the timelessly magical experience it has on me and I know always will have on me. I can't believe that I actually had a personal conversation with this man for over an hour because I feel like he is a kindred spirit of sorts to me. At least as far as my interest and passion for TV art/entertainment goes. The way I know and understand the characters on a much deeper level than the show itself could ever really represent them to and for me.

You’ve just got to love how Steven automatically and intentionally wrote Gabrielle as a comphet lesbian. And I resonate so strongly with his words about her story arc and her journey in terms of how it applies to Gabrielle’s love for and initial fear of loving Xena the way she thinks - at the time - she’s only supposed to love men. Of course she’s constantly “running home to mama” because that’s where she knows herself best even if she’s always felt too queer to be mama’s little girl. And there is that very quietly played theme with her where she’s constantly struggling with that internally which is so brilliantly communicated in both Steven’s writing and Renee’s nuanced portrayal of Gabrielle’s character. And that is exactly what a “comphet lesbian” is. It’s someone that habitually runs home even when they know they don’t belong there because it’s safer or more familiar for them than stepping into the dangerous unknown even when it feels so much more welcoming than home ever did.

‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ is a queer story from the get go. Episode 1 is very queer storytelling actually in the way that these 2 protagonist female characters meet each other and become family to one another. It’s “I feel like a stranger in my own home but I just met you and you seem to feel the same way as me - let’s just stop being strangers and be a home to each other.”

I would really recommend listening to the whole podcast episode because the whole thing is just amazingly in-depth and insightful but if you can’t do that please enjoy these transcriptions of what I think are the best parts of it that explain so much about where the creators/cast/crew’s minds were at VS where the network/studio/executive’s mind’s were at because it’s important to be aware that they were not queerbaiting or pandering or exploiting LGBTQ fans which many show’s creative teams and their network/streaming service platforms still do with their lead same-sex characters instead of take them seriously.

As I said - most of the creators/cast/crew agreed with the fans and even viewed the TV show as a love story between the 2 lead characters themselves. Especially the big names. Steven is a great example of that fact. And if they were just “fan-servicing”, then they were serving themselves just as much because they wanted canon Xena and Gabrielle just as much as the fans did. They may never have initially saw them that way but they clearly knew that it was the natural progression for them so they didn’t dispute it. They embraced it.

STEVEN: “One of the things we discussed at the beginning was a flaw that you find in a lot of TV shows that have 2 leads. Generally, 1 is the lead who has the name on the banner and the other one is the ‘sidekick’. And I remember saying - not as an ultimatum, I just casually mentioned it in the meeting - I said ‘I don’t believe in sidekicks. Sidekicks are the props that you kill off at the end of the first season so that people will tune in the next season. They’re kind of useless and they just exist.’ And everybody agreed with that and we did not want to get to the point where Gabrielle was just standing in the background going ‘Get him Xena! Get him Xena! Get him Xena!’ And I remember we angst during the baby tossing episode ‘cause that’s all she did. She participated by grabbing the baby but she literally was acting ‘Get him Xena! Get him Xena!’ And so we decided that Gabrielle had to have a solid progression that was not just a convenience for us. In other words we didn’t want to do this just because ‘well, we don’t want her to be a sidekick so we’re going to pretend like she’s important.’ We felt she had to be. And so obviously the relationship between the 2 characters folded in with that perfectly. So this was one of the episodes (‘The Greater Good’) where I said - I kind of posed the question in my mind - I thought ‘what if Gabrielle was the Xena of this episode?’ Which, obviously, is what came out of it.”

HOST: “Speaking of that episode though,… that’s one of the most iconic episodes of the show. Definitely of that first season if not of the show generally. So when you say that building up [Gabrielle’s] character and making her more important to the story and finding that through the relationship - was their relationship sort of just natural or was that something that you guys were like ‘yeah, no, this has to be a huge part of what the show is now.’”

STEVEN: “There’s no yes and no for any of that so… the thing is that every TV show - unless it’s adapted from a novel or unless you actually chart out 5 seasons right at the beginning - which a lot of TV series now are doing because of the way that we stream. They’re basically novels - at a certain point as you begin to develop it, it takes on its own life. With everybody’s contributions the characters become real and just as all of you are real, I could write stories that you could do, but you will live those stories differently. Even if you do them together, you’re going to live them individually. So when we started out the series we were looking for having a successful series. We wanted to have fun - everybody in this business wants to have fun - and we wanted to get another season. But, in the way that I write - and fortunately in this particular group we all had the same mindset - we don’t believe in doing action for the sake of action. We don’t believe in doing comedy for the sake of comedy. We don’t believe in doing anything that’s not rooted in character first. So when we started the series I had made a comment about their relationship. I actually said ‘we’re going to have a very large gay/lesbian following’ and some of the people in the office were like ‘why would you think that?’ and I said ‘well,… my first show was 3 guys on a boat.’ And back then you didn’t have the internet for fanfiction but there were news magazines that went out that fans would put together. Fanzines. And - of course - I subscribed to 1 4 Riptide and almost all the fanzines dealt with their relationships with how they regarded each other. On every level. Romantic levels and just on brotherly levels or anything like that… but their relationships were a lot closer. So what I realized with all the subsequent series that I was doing - every time there were 2 leads of the same gender, this type of fanfiction was out there. Now as a backstory, I come out of theatre. I’ve been doing theatre since I was 12 years old. So being around the LGBTQ community was just… Tuesday, you know? So, for me, as I kind of explained this, I said ‘any time a dispossessed group of our society finds validation in any of our media - they grab it. Because they’re not given it, they have to grab it.’ And I said ‘so, you know, it’s going to happen.’ And thank god nobody went ‘oh, we have to avoid that’ or ‘we have to stay away from that’. Okay? Nobody in the room … So what we just figured was like we’re just going to let these characters evolve the way they evolve. And anybody looking at these characters and the way they came together and the adventures they were going on - I mean in retrospect,… was it really a surprise that they would have this incredibly close bond as they went forward? I mean however you ship it, it doesn’t matter. That bond had to happen or Gabrielle would have been totally unnecessary. We would have gotten rid of her. She would have been an annoyance. As opposed to us embracing the annoying aspect at the beginning and then allowing the audience to watch this incredible growth that she never would have had without meeting Xena and the incredible growth that Xena had that she would never have had if she hadn’t met Gabrielle. I’ve always said ‘Sins Of The Past’ was a suicide episode. Xena was trying to kill herself. She had nothing left. When she buried her weapons she was saying ‘I’m leaving myself open to the next warlord to kill me’ and then she hears the noise in the distance and she goes over there and she sees this young girl standing up against warlords and there’s a part of her that says ‘I was like that. That was me. What happened?’”

STEVEN: “I will say though that as the show became more popular the studio backed off on a lot of things with us because we were doing well and they trusted us. I want to look at it that way anyway. The President of Universal Television during that time was a guy named Dan Philly and I knew Dan since I started. He was actually one of the studio executives from NBC for Riptide. So I knew him from back then. Really cool guy. Awesome guy. And he was like ‘look, you know if this is working, people are happy, you seem to be walking that line…’ - which I always snickered at - it’s ‘cause ‘yeah, cause we’re NOT walking that line’ - he said ‘just go for it.’ And he was also one of the old style studio executives where if they wanted something they would trust you. They would turn to you and they would say ‘can you have a little more titillation? ‘Cause we like that. That helps. Give us more titillation.’ But they wouldn’t tell us to do it. They wouldn’t say ‘this is how you do it.’ They wouldn’t say ‘redesign their costumes so that their boobs pop out.’ They would just leave it to us. And so we would say ‘oh, this scene where they’re in the tavern talking about these really intense things that are going on in their life - we’ll put it in a hot tub!’ And that actually is how the hot tub tradition began because we thought ‘well, that makes it titillating’ and yet… we used it for the story and… it actually is kind of a bonding thing… ‘so put it in there.’ They’re watching the dailies and you hear [Lucy] say ‘where’s the soap?’ and we go ‘do we leave that in?’ ‘Yeah, we’ll leave that one in.’”

HOST: “As far as from the fan side of it, I don’t remember when the term ‘subtext’ started to become a word that the fans threw around and it obviously has become it’s own thing: the subtext of the show. But it sounds to me like it was just very organic for you guys. But when did you start to hear of the fans - LGBTQ+ specifically - latching on to what we would call ‘the subtext of the show.’ Was there like any kind of feedback you were getting? Were you then more inclined to kind of give us a little more like ‘wink wink, nudge nudge’ moments like the hot tub? Were you receptive to what the fans were asking for?”

STEVEN: “Yes and no. With the internet obviously we had direct access to the fans and we always made it a rule that we were not going to follow where the fans wanted us to go. We hoped that they would follow with us. But at the same time we kind of adapted things. I remember - because of my geeky nature - I was the one who was online first. I was really into that. I was the one who found the first AOL chatroom that Laura, a little 14 year old girl had set up for Xena. So I was listening in. And for those of you who remember back then, I never hid who I was. I wasn’t a lurker. I would go in and I would say ‘this is who I am’ not because I wanted everybody to go ‘ooo’ but I would say ‘talk freely.’ I said ‘I will leave the room if 1 of 2 things happen: if 1. you start talking about episodes you want to see because I can’t ethically listen to that or 2. if I become the centre of conversation ‘cause that’s not the point.’ I said ‘if I do that, don’t take offence, that’s just my own little ethics.’ But I was able to listen in. And so I do remember that at the beginning of this I told Rob this was going on and he said something to the effect of ‘yeah, well, it’s good they’re talking about the show but, you know, we don’t really care what they’re saying there, we’ve got to keep focused.’ I’m like ‘okay.’ And like an episode would come back and he would come out and come into my office and he’d say ‘so umm,… what do the fans think?’ And again, I was kind of looking for this because of my background so I was a little more aware of what was happening. The early discussions among the fans of where this was going was extremely interesting to me and I tried my best not to get involved in it because I wanted everybody to interpret it the way that they wanted to. I’m always amazed by the Xena fandom. I’ve been on other shows that have fandom and certainly a lot of my friends have huge fanbases on their shows, and I’ve said this when I’ve been on podcasts for other shows: the Xena fandom is the most incredible fandom that I’ve ever been involved with for a number of reasons. And one of them is that at the beginning - keeping in mind this was obviously in the middle 90’s - there was still some contentiousness as if people were trying to protect the girls from being lesbian. It’s like ‘we have to protect them, don’t say that!’ ‘Oh, okay, good, you’re going to protect me from what? Being a straight white male. Oh, thank you very much.’ So it was a little bit of that going on and there was some fire that went back and forth. I remember a few of the transcripts that were just so amazing. I kind of kept track of them. And what I started to see though with the Xena fans - which I loved - is that the people who wanted to maintain their shipper stance became friends. They began talking about it with respect to each other as opposed to ‘no, you’re that camp, I’m this camp’ and then the major contention was ‘do we ship Xena with Ares?’ And I’m like ‘okay, so what you’ve done is you’ve defaulted to the idea that she’s already with Gabrielle and now you’re just talking about a jealousy thing.’ And I’m like ‘that’s totally cool. I love that!’”

So the characters evolved. Now had they evolved in a different direction, well, we’d be having a different conversation here. Going back to the studio, one of the things that did come up was the studio did say ‘can you somehow remind people that, you know, Xena still likes guys and Gabrielle still likes guys.’ But they never said that they can’t like each other. And I’m thinking to myself ‘okay, what you’ve described to me is either the ultimate bisexual or what you’ve described to me is’ - and I don’t have a word for this ‘cause, you know, straight white male, how would I know this? - ‘is many of my friends who are a lesbian but denied that identification and fought themselves, and then finally came out - liberated themselves.’ So I said ‘you’re kind of describing that.’ And I remember thinking to myself ‘and that’s going to be Gabrielle.’ That she’s going to fight a lot of this internally. And so, you know, when we got to the Perdicus episode - with the marriage … you know we all get together and we would talk about how we’re going to put it together and some of us would come up with little things that go into somebody else’s script and it’s always the original writer that really is the owner of the script, but we always contribute things. And I remember we got to that thing and I’m like ‘okay, I know where I’m leaning on this’ and I’m going to lean into the curve on this one because what’s happening with Gabrielle is that she’s gone this far with Xena and suddenly this reminder of what her hidden past was - what her past was when she - well… you could say ‘denied’ -  there’s a time where - this is difficult for me because I’m not a gay woman so I can’t speak with authority from this. I can only say I’ve had friends that have gone through this - where their coming out process is so scary that sometimes they - what I call - ‘run home to mama.’ And mama is where they were - at least they could deal with it - it was familiar enough. So when Perdicus comes in,… she’s questioning a lot of things and she thinks ‘okay, and now I’m questioning where I am and why I’m here,… so I’m running home to mama because Perdicus represents my childhood, my past, my village.’ And that scene where Gabrielle and Xena have that discussion before Gabrielle goes off to marry Perdicus - again, I always remind myself I’m NOT that orientation, I’m NOT that gender, I’m NOT that - but that scene still sticks in my mind because it broke my heart because she’s looking right at the woman who is her destiny and she’s saying ‘I’m so scared of you because of what you’re going to reveal about me and so I’m going to run away to something I should never have been apart of.’ And I’ve seen people go through that so that scene still sticks in my mind. It’s literally in my mind. I see the entire image of that scene.”

HOST: “When you say that - obviously you’re not a gay woman but you know humans and you know people and at the end of the day those characters were very human and - I hate to say it, love is love - it’s very cliché, but it is, right? Of course, why wouldn’t you understand what those 2 character’s are feeling … Because you’re a human being who understands the concept of love. But I love what you said. It’s like, yeah, of course, Gabrielle knew what being married to Perdicus living in her old village would be like. Like you said - she could endure that. She’d been there. She understood it. If she stayed with Xena, it’s scary, it’s the unknown and it’s that great inner conflict in her. I hadn’t really thought about it but that scene is very heartbreaking and it’s got to be one of my favourites.”

STEVEN: “When she left the village that little girl was looking at adventure because she was bored. She had no idea what she was getting into on every level. Not just the action level, the adventure level, the danger level - but the emotional level. She had no idea. So then she got to a point where that all scared her. She was more scared of that than she was about the adventure and the danger. Warlords did not scare her the way that this scared her. And, you know, it was a huge turning point. Now whether you ship one way or the other way on this, it still works because she had to find her destiny. And I also make a little distinction in my mind that Gabrielle’s destiny was not to be with Xena. Gabrielle’s destiny was to be with herself and to love who she chose to love. It was to find her happiness and BOOM… it walks into her life. And that is the scariest thing that can happen to a person and it’s hard to admit it. So I’ve often described the relationship at the beginning as: because Xena was much more experienced Xena was much more focused on what she had won and lost in her life and she had a lot of repair work to do in her life. Gabrielle had a lot of growing to do. So when Xena and Gabrielle came together, I made this distinction: I said that Gabrielle loved Xena ‘cause ‘AWESOME! XENA! The legends, the things I’ve heard about you!’

So Gabrielle loved Xena… but Xena was IN LOVE with Gabrielle… from the moment they met.”

[aropride]

saw ur recommendation for 3m aura n95s 👀👀 any advice on where to get them from? heading back 2 school in a few weeks and wanna stock up — tysm !!!!!

ok so!! my first recommendation is to see if there is a mask block near you, in my area it was CRANE (covid resistance action northeast), they're having trouble stocking and filling orders rn so mine took ~a month to arrive but the time would've passed anyway as they say . if ur in a more urban area ur a lot more likely to have one near u tbh, idk if it'd work but it'd be worth reaching out to the closest one even if they're not technically working in ur exact area just to see . here's a map of mask blocs worldwide- they're mostly in america (continent - but mostly in the US+canada) & europe (mostly in great britian) but there are some others too

otherwise the safest way to get some that are 100% not counterfeit is ordering directly from a supplier, but that can be expensive . project n95 is inactive now but theres still a list of suppliers there !! 3m is really good from experience . u can also get n95s/kn95s/p100 respirators from home depot if u have one near u- however the supplyaid kn95s they sell arent very good, i had them and theyre better than nothing but they only have a 67% filtration rate (as opposed to the 95% expected from n95s and kn95s - thats what the 95 stands for i was mindblown when i discovered this)

also while im thinking about it, part of the reason n95s are more protective than kn95s despite both filtering 95% of particles is bc the seal on the n95 is a lot more reliable than the kn95 :}

me personally ive been getting mine from amazon (not recommended) (i have gift cards there so im not giving them My money at least) and trying my best to make sure they're legit . i referenced the 3m n95 1870s i got using this twitter thread and they seem to be legit? on amazon it also usually says where it ships from and check the storefront, the reviews etc etc. i basically have to do an entire vetting process every time its very annoying ❤️ it is a lot less expensive though, especially if they have a sale going . (here are the ones ive been getting- the listings look the same as of rn but amazon changes them all the time so take this with a grain of salt, person i imagined reading this in 2027. link 1, link 2)

ive tried the holy trinity (new term i made up for the 3m n95 1870 (red straps), 3m n95 9205 (blue straps), and 3m n95 9210 (braided white straps)) -- ime the 9210 definitely has the tightest head straps and i have an abnormally small head on account of being 3 inches tall and born in a thimble all alone . so thats something to be aware of, if u have an abnormally big head the 3m auras might not be the best bc of the strap tightness .

SORRY I'M LIKE INFODUMPING AT U NOW ..!! i have more though . If you know anyone irl who masks asking them where they get theirs might help, they might know stuff locally. ALSO speaking of knowing stuff locally- i don't know if this is universal but i have a friend who's getting really into asian cuisine and a lot of asian grocery stores ive been to with her in my area have had masks. that's such a long shot but ive seen them five out of six stores ive gone to and never at, like, hannaford or market basket or whatever.

OKAY ONE MORE THING . when i got my free masks from crane (SHOUTOUT CRANE I LOVE YOU CRANE) they also sent a thing abt how to reuse them that i will add !! they can be used for like 40 hours if theyre not visibly dirty or the straps dont break or anything

okay i am done infodumping now SORRY THIS IS SO LONG..!!! tldr: local mask bloc if it's an option is definitely the least expensive, project n95 compiled a bunch of links to buy from suppliers, home depot/other hardware stores are worth a shot, and amazon's an option especially if you're like me (poor but have money stuck in amazon gift cards) 🫡

[librarisxng]

ATEEZ SMALL PERFUME REVIEW: LUSH — THE COMFORTER

disclaimer: this is not meant to be a serious perfume review, this is something fun for me to do as I love perfume. each and every one of us have different tastes and preferences when it comes to fragrances. what works for me might not work for you, vice versa. I’ll try my best to describe the scents but I will always suggest for you to go and smell them yourself before purchase. if you want to try these perfumes, please test or get a sample before committing to the bottle. picture credits to all owners.

ateez member: seonghwa

fragrance family: aromatic fruity

notes:

cassis, cypress, bergamot

my scent experience:

juicy, sweet and berry-like. if you don’t know what cassis is, it’s french for blackcurrant and blackcurrants in perfume are so good. I love that blackcurrants are sweet but not too sweet of a scent that it doesn’t make you feel sick. I love how juicy and delicious this smells and the bergamot makes it bright and fun. this is the body spray version of their best-selling bubble bar so if you are familiar with that product, you would like this.

the projection for this body spray is so intense, you only need two sprays to smell good. any more than that, it’s overpowering and can give you a migraine — thankfully I’ve learnt this the easy way from a Lush employee. the longevity however isn’t that great, it would last approximately 2 hours on me but considering it’s a body spray, I wasn’t expecting it to last forever.

additional notes from me:

the way Seonghwa and I have the same taste in perfume? did not expect that but that means he’s got excellent taste in fragrances at least in my opinion. I bought this in store right before the pandemic so this was the scent I was wearing during lockdown lmao. it’s been quite a while since I’ve finished my bottle but I still think about it from time to time. I’ll probably buy a bottle when I visit Lush as I’ve heard stories of the body sprays leaking in transit. I just checked online and they also sell this scent as a soap bar so that’s pretty cool.

who would I recommend this to?

anyone who loves the scent of blackcurrants and/or enjoys the comforter bubble bar.

those who love fruity scents.

anyone who wants to try out Lush body sprays.

if you’ve made it to the end, thank you for reading this review! writing small reviews for fragrances that Seonghwa uses was a breeze. the real challenge is writing for the rest of the members especially Wooyoung he has too many. hopefully this doesn’t flop and I’ll try my best to write more reviews soon.

review written by librarisxng 2024

[shadamyheadcanons]

SPOILERS FOR THE MURDER OF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 🛑 https://twitter.com/krack932/status/1641923206486294530?s=46&t=tC2LddLuwO9pUUd3TlNgIg

Guess it’s time I tackled this, huh? I’m late to the party!

Short answer: I love the game AND the Shadow/Amy interactions! They’re wonderful! I’ll be putting spoilers under the cut. If you haven’t played it yet, I’d definitely recommend it. Great art, great story, fun gameplay. It’s free on Steam and it’ll probably only take you a few hours, so there’s nothing to lose!

I never would have thought to make a Sonic murder mystery game, but it fits super well. The characters are really well-written. It’s been a long time since I played a Sonic game and felt everyone was portrayed well. I wasn’t even fully satisfied with Frontiers in that regard tbh, but this game nailed all of them. It helps that with Sonic being, uh...preoccupied, we get to see side characters interacting with each other for once. Blaze conspiring with Rouge? Yes, please! Knuckles throwing a fit when he loses to Vector in a video game? Wonderful!

But Shadamy is the standout. I couldn’t be happier with how these two were handled! This is exactly the kind of Shadow/Amy interaction I’ve waited years for, and I know I’m not alone in that. Some people have started shipping them because of this game!

I think what I like most about it is that this is the exact pattern I often use when I write them falling in love. He does something really sweet and dedicated for her...

...makes bad excuses to try and downplay it...

(PFFT WHAT SOCIAL STATUS??? Even Tails is laughing)

He remembers something about Amy and goes to the trouble of doing something nice for her even if he has to embarrass himself in the process, something he wouldn’t be caught dead doing for anyone else...

She sees right through his excuses because she knows how sweet he is. She literally stutters and blushes. Just look how smitten she is!

...and then she asks him out because she wants to spend more time with him.

Sure, she’s probably thinking of it platonically, but it’s worth noting that this is the exact approach she’s taken to try to get dates in the past.

Wallpaper posted on Sonic Channel 2/22/21. Art by Yuji Uekawa

If she wants to spend time with a love interest someone, she’ll make it happen, regardless of their hesitation.

And he agrees. He hesitates either because it’s a boy band or maybe because concerts aren’t his thing, but he says yes because it’s her. The proof is right there: he goes through all this for her specifically. He dresses up in a glorified Starbucks outfit--let’s be real, we were all thinking it--joins in for a silly game, something that’s been out of character for him since the beginning...

and agrees to go to a party despite repeatedly rejecting invitations to such things in the past. Rouge makes it clear that’s the norm:

And even when he shows up to Sonic’s birthday, he’s late and ignores everyone, including Sonic himself:

But he goes to Amy’s birthday, makes sure to get her a thoughtful gift, and even socializes with the others. He’s in a pretty good mood, even showing an unusual amount of patience while she’s accusing him.

He doesn’t snap back at her or anything the way he normally would with others. How many people could get away with interrupting Shadow the hedgehog without getting an earful? He really is more patient with her than he is with anyone else.

Shadow’s a blunt, stubborn guy, and he won’t agree to something if he doesn’t want to. But he’ll go to a crowded boy band concert because Amy’s just worth it to him. Different rules for Amy. And if he keeps it up, she’s bound to notice.

That’s how I write them, at least, and now it’s in a semi-official Sonic game, too. I couldn’t be happier. <3 Hopefully Sega will see the positive response and put these two together more often; people really loved this, regardless of who they ship. Platonic or otherwise, I’d love to see more.

Either way, rest assured that this interaction will be finding its way into headcanons here and there from now on. And I may or may not have a proper story in the works for it 👀

Oh, and the kicker?

Tails totally ships it. He didn’t have to wink like that, but he sees what’s up. He’s a clever kid. That’s another point for the “Tails is on Team Amy” trend, and more fuel for the Everyone Ships Shadamy tag.