#more lines tomorrow if I remember
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Yesterday I promised voice lines for a specific character and I am keeping my word! Here an eclectic selection of Waidwen voice lines. (Although there are disappointingly if understandably few in the first place.)
#pillars of eternity#audio#voice lines#waidwen#what a guy#i love him so much#he's so fucked up#unfortunately so am i which has kept me from writing the last week#but I'll get there eventually#anyway#more lines tomorrow if I remember
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underrated dynamic i think is peter and dave’s implied rivalry. like they have History
i like to think that since peter was so strangely good at his job the company wasn’t eager to lose him and kept reusing him for many different locations even if multiple closed down. and those locations ended up with dave at them a LOT. we know that dave filled One of them with hot cheese. and peter is at least aware of dave’s crucifixion. and dave knows him well enough by the time he’s building the fazbunker that he knows about his fear of clowns and red-haired girls (dee……). dave hated Him in particular
i think not enough is done with this it could be Such a fun dynamic they HATE each other. Worsties you could say. opposites subtract
#a silly thought is peter being the phone guy sent to fredbear’s#being the start of it all#and explaining him knowing the “tomorrow is another day” line n all#however as fun as that is to think about i don’t think it’s the case#as unreliable as jack’s memory can be i think he’d at least somewhat recognize peter’s phone head in 2#instead of assuming “red = colorado?!?!” and be wondering why the shape is different. He thinks it’s still steven#unless he thinks all phone guys are the same that would be really funny honestly#but nahhh. I think it’s just more likely that the dave v peter animosity was caused by their personalities#peter is a stern moral rule follower and dave is a rude immoral unapologetic Rule Despiser#guy who does not give a shit vs guy who gives all the shits#And with how i imagine peter to be going around quite a few locations#they’d have more encounters#along with how memories in the phones work…like…peter at least has had other phone guys’ memories implanted in his head#while also stating not being able to remember more than a few months before dsaf 2#dunno if that might happen to some other phones too but. He’s got lots of Dave Warnings in there#anyway i’ll stop now this is getting too long for tags hehshgshg#dsaf#dayshift at freddy’s#peter kennedy#dave miller
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7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos
#normal Saturday morning behavior#redacted spoilers#redacted audio#redacted sam#Seven.txt#rp audio stuff#well. crying over one singular blorbo in particular. Sam's still got me in an emotional chokehold#and i'm too sad to even make a stupid little joke abt how i wouldn't mind if it was a physical one too. ayeee *insert sad eyebrow wiggle*#no but seriously. i have so many feelings abt him and i can't even say it all bc some of it isn't public info yet#eh fuck it i'll just draft this until the audio goes public and then i'll post it once it's no longer Exclusive Info#bc i dont wanna leak Early Access stuff but i have to get this out of my system rn and the new audio is part of what sparked these thoughts#which is funny bc i. literally haven't even listened to it yet. i'm not Ready 😭#where's that tiktok screenshot that's like. 'hyperfixation so bad that i can't even engage with the source material' bc that's me rn#like bro Sam only won the poll like. 2 or 3 days ago and Eric is Already dropping a new Sam audio?? hello? Mr. Redacted i wasn't prepared#anyways i was spoiling myself by perusing the comments last night trying to get a feel for if it's gonna be more angst or comfort#and i saw a comment that absolutely shattered me. and it reignited all my sad thoughts about Sam's eventual. uh. y'know. death.#apparently they plant a tree together or smthn in the new audio (which already has me & my beloved 10y/o orange tree feeling some kinda way#but to the individual in the comments who brought to all our minds the image of Sam sitting beneath that tree in 30 or so years time#when he's decided that he's ready to die and sits out there waiting for the sun to rise..................... 🥲#i'm gonna need u to compensate me for all of that unexpected emotional damage /j /nm#i'm Still not over what he told Darlin' while they had their talk about the future up on his roof together. that audio killed me#then yesterday i was listening to my Sam & Darlin' playlist while cleaning. and Malibu Nights by LANY came on. which i always skip bc Sad#but i let it play and just started crying. standing in the middle of the room all disheveled and holding a broom. as one does.#iirc that song is one that Eric himself said is applicable to Sam which is why/how i found it and put it on the playlist. and god. g o d#hm. i hope that wasn't Patreon exclusive info. i can't remember if it was a public post where he said that or not. hope it's okay to share#but if we can take that song as like. unofficial canon for Sam then that also confirms my idea that he used to drink to cope#which makes the opening lines of Fix What You Didn't Break by Nate Smith even more applicable. i should go edit that post actually#anyways i'm just. feeling a lot. and i love Sam very much and i don't want him to die. but i want him to do what he wants at the same time#Alexis took so fucking much from him. he deserves to live - and end - his life on his own terms. ... i think i need to go write something#*casually fishes this post out of the drafts 3 and a half days later* hi so uh. i wrote a 4k oneshot :) and will hopefully post it tomorrow
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As always I’m trying to connect my interests in any way I can. So I was thinking of somehow matching the lines from this verse of mayday by chonny jash to the grotethe crew.
My first thought was chip fully relapsing into his assassin ways for the addict lines. Matilde being the Icarus lines bc birds and wings and such. But that feels a bit shallow. And then elga as the hercules and Barney as atlas. For Barney atlas would also maybe make sense because of his age the first (optional) line would work but idk.
I had some other combinations of lines and characters but I can’t recall them rn sorry
#I’m a teeny tiny bit drunk rn so I don’t have the clarity of mind to remember the other ideas I had#maybe tomorrow if my brain isn’t decayed by then#but anyway I’m not fully sure on this so if anyone wants to help me be my guest#I feel like we could assign them much easier if we knew just a little bit more about Mathilde or Barney’s backstories#my plan is for a drawing featuring all of them with their corresponding lines#no promises tho#tales from the stinky dragon#tftsd#stinky dragon pod#grotethe#chonny jash#tree mumblings
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I do think Withers has a really subtle background character arc in bg3. Because at the start it is really clear he doesn't want to be here and he's being forced to clean up his mess by Helm and probably Ao. He doesn't really care either. Everything ends so nothing really matters, he'd like to go back to his paperwork now please.
Except he's stuck babysitting a bunch of traumatized dumbasses as they stumble into dealing with the most recent bad idea of his three fuck-up disappointments. So he brings them back when they die for a pittance, lets them pay for some vengeful ghosts to come back as flesh and blood to wreak bloody vengeance on the Absolute, and starts to... comment, on what's going on, as he follows them on their adventure.
Next thing you know Withers is like, doing things unprompted. He refuses to bring back Alfira (or Quil) but that's an act of compassion, keeping the poor girl from the Urge and letting her rest, his actual duty as a god of death. He tells Arabella to follow her destiny and does that thing to make her grief go away which honestly freaks me out but seems to be him trying to help her. He shows up at Moonrise and prompts us to consider why the Dead Three would want a bunch of soulless illithids that would give them no power, getting us to think of the big picture.
And by the end (especially if you do a resist!Durge playthrough) Withers is actively interfering and seems genuinely invested! He brings Durge back from the dead, free of their father! He encourages us before the final fight with the Netherbrain! He's real fucking smug that the Dead Three lost when he never seemed to care about the destruction they caused before! He throws a reunion party and many of his lines are genuinely touching or kind! Especially if a companion died permanently! He has tea with Gale's mom and Tara! He's like, socializing and shit! Yes, everything is temporary and we all die, but there's great beauty in fighting for that precious time and living it to the fullest!
Basically Wither's character arc is this meme, all because Helm made him go outside and touch grass.
#bg3#like... thematically the characters are bg3 are all struggling with mortal frailty and meaninglessness in the grand scheme of gods#several of them are on a ticking clock to immediate death. the tadpoles themselves are a death sentence. others are being actively#hunted by their abusers or will be drawn back into a life that's no real life at all or told to kill themselves or seen as nothing but#disposable pawns in the game of the gods to be used and discard as if nothing#or are destined for objectively shitty afterlives#and what do they do? they fight it! tooth and nail! and try to live their best life here and now! they form bonds and fall in love#and help strangers or each other and have fun even for only the moment and cling to life by their fingernails#while also accepting death could be tomorrow or next week or decades from now because we all die but that's no reason to lie#and meekly accept it because some god said so#they care! they all care SO SO MUCH ABOUT LIVING! even if its tempting to give in to the nihilism they all try so goddamn hard#even on evil routes there's something so deeply human and vulnerable to how it all comes from caring so deeply#about wanting to live and survive and be loved and safe#listen to Wither's lines about the companions if they died. especially Karlach. do you get it? they made the GOD OF DEATH#JERGEL HIMSELF! feel something about the beauty of the mortal life in all its fleeting incandescent glory!#but also I think it's just that Jergel needed to leave his sad little crypt more and talk to people other than kelemvor#and Helm accidentally made Jergel less terrible by forcing him to socialize with the mortals#it's like never leaving your room as a teenager. it makes you depressed and sad and full of despair like an understimulated parrot#and like is Wither's being more invested in the affairs in mortals necessarily a good thing? maybe. maybe not. but he clearly is#so good on him. I think more gods should hang out with mortals in non-worship contexts. might give them some perspective#just pretend to be some random helper NPC#and this is all especially poignant when we remember Jergel’s past as Neutral Evil and the genuinely horrible things he’s done
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Scalpel and gel working, along with guidelines for both incisions and excisions! With this there's now 4 tools, so my next step will be to implement the tool wheel for smoother tool switching. Also, the scalpel's collision detection can skip over things if you move it too fast. Gotta fix that tomorrow.
#original#trauma center#trauma center recreation#with each day i get closer and closer to a full proper operation#it's not a perfect recreation#for example there's no way to miss on the opening incision#and i mentioned on my main that the gel has way too many little details to its behavior#this is good enough#i already said that tomorrow is the tool wheel#but after that comes sutures#and i'm 75% they're going to be hell to implement#both creating the thread lines and checking to see if they're intersecting the wound#gel was hard to make because of all the little details and all the numbers i had to adjust to make it feel right#and it STILL doesn't feel quite right. too many puddles too quickly#but i must remember the mantra: good enough#i say that but i spent like 20 more minutes after i started writing this just to make the gel disappear faster after it touches a Thing#oh yeah and i actually managed to get the gel sound perfect i think!#the trick that instead of looping it i play a second gel sound overlapping the end of the first one
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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also riawin timeloop ("canon compliant" (still focusing on character so not canon compliant in that way)) ft. the attempts to make things work but that only goes Winston? more like Win State over giving up on that b/c he's in a situation where no matter what he does the other person chooses to see him as a nonperson (so canon compliant it's barely an au. the role sure exited the iterative loop upon giving up on all that (not possible to Win (the final Lose is others killing him))
#iterative process of [background market events(tm)] + [abuse] like that is the framework in which winston is contained yes#(remembers i already had this idea) (remembers this is like. barely a change from any ideas along the lines of how yeah riawin could#happen in a form & just be [abusive friend sometimes wants to have More Intimacy from abused friend (emotional; physical; sexual; &c)])#timeloops as device to contain Efforts navigating xyz emotional process like sure it could be escape room for a preexisting dynamic#just that the ''right'' way to interact w/someone isn't a relationship development involving any increased closeness lol#the fun part that is pursuing like Relationship Growth & getting seeming ''successes'' now & then but ofc not actually#not Lastingly either. next day being a potential seeming reset whether you're in a loop or no#as per the [would barely change anything from irl] as per the idea of What If Your Day Repeated only being so different if like#the idea is that during that day you did some Big Shift by the end so that the tomorrow would be so [wow; post That]#also just for emphasis like wouldn't even be like loop ends with riawin Breakup. wouldn't necessarily start w/them ''together''#''canon compliant'' had them being a coworker duo & ''friends'' or having just out of frame interactions all the time(?) anyway so like#the breakup / opposite of Successful Getting Together / Relationship Growth getting to be entirely personal#given that the personal sure isn't going to be genuinely interacted with by the person who sees the other as Other / object / nonperson#can't believe the ''person'' i totally liked & was friends with stopped talking to me & w/o explanation (that i would accept) evil wtf#people just don't want to date & get/stay married & have kids & defer to their abusive relatives these days. We used to be a Society :(#they don't even want to go the extra mile & be a team player & no overtime pay & professionalism(tm) & in charge of my ego &
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They should exterminate the inventor of AP classes and weekend homework. Anyways rant in the tags bye.
#could i technically have said no to taking ap lang? yes. practically speaking? helllll no#i hate doing things because they're expected of me but even more i hate the questioning when i stray from people's expectations#all this school stuff is compounding with personal life and i am about to break#all of the academic stuff is compounding with personal life stuff and i am about to scream.#“oh why would you actively pass up that opportunity????” multiple open ended questions with 10 lines of space that i just remembered#and i would feel incredibly cornered and womp womp id feel guilty so here i am stuck with so much work sprawled on my bed at 12:30 am#1 week. 1 week i missed and now i am so far behind in all my classes. i have a TEST tomorrow in ap physics#not a quiz. a test. 70% of my grade in that class comes from tests. and i have bare minimum knowledge of how to do anything#i'm almost done catching up in math but that means i haven't been able to focus on catching up in my other classes#all this school stuff is compounding with personal life and i am about to break and start screaming.#god if youre up there stand down last warning. i am not your strongest soldier sir i will end it all.
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𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐕. My energy levels waned quicker than I thought, so that will be it for today's activity— I seriously hope to adjust soon enough so I can do more without dying to get into bed and hibernate until it's time to wake up and go to class again. But! While I said I wouldn't indulge much the thought of something I read in Princess Mina of the Fallen Nation, I did start to think of it as something actually plausible in regards of Khaenri'ah.
Considering how deeply ingrained was the devotion to the Abyss in the society (at least in higher spheres concerning nobility which I'm sure Dain also touches onto as well as other Black Serpent Knights depending on who they're tasked to guard), I think it's very hard at this point to run with the belief that sussy things happened in the background and no one of those who don't agree with this noticed, which I firmly believe Dain would be included due to the way he lamented so much Khaenri'ah's fall. Even more so when all of a sudden a stranger comes "from the Abyss" and becomes the kingdom's prince(ss).
So, the one thing that I will address is:
"'This will all end as long as we defeat the evil overlords.' That's what we believed then. Naive fools that we were — that was just the beginning of the nightmare." "The thirteen samurai banded together to defeat the Nakura Daimyo who had been destroying this nation." "But Kogami did not revive with the Daimyo gone, and the life-force of the land continued to bleed away." "Not only that — Kogami, now bereft of its ruler, became a paradise for those who would plunder it." "The heroes who had defeated the wicked overlord could not protect it in the end either."
Thinking about Khaenri'ah, this had me wondering: what if part of the society, tired of the dark esotericism that was causing more harm than good and that was a thing since many years ago, wanted to do something to end with this so the people could live peacefully? And that this was enforced by a faction of the military to end. Considering that King Irmin was also neck deep into this, it wouldn't be far-fetched to think that those who wanted to make the nation a better place and not another home where it's unsafe to live or potentially worse than what many people left behind (namely the other seven nations ruled by the Archons) seized the opportunity that this king wasn't at his best point. Which later on would follow with Marshal Anfortas' temporary regency (whether he was the Alberich or not, I have no clue— it could be either him and that he continued to be the regent until Khaenri'ah's destruction or that someone of the Alberich clan stepped in to take the position after him). We do know that the Alberich who took the regent position wanted to mend things and, in my interpretation, it was too late for that.
So back to what I was commenting earlier and which I may adhere to my own particular worldbuilding of Khaenri'ah: part of the army, among which Dain was included, wanted to make out of Khaenri'ah a better place and actually kicked out from positions of power and relevance those who were way too deep into the Abyss dark part (it's known that they were able to invoke rifthounds in Sumeru, I highly doubt they wouldn't in Khaenri'ah even if for experimentation purposes alone that either go wrong or cause too much disruption in the society) and a time of peace follows after that. They believe that everything would go better from that moment onward, when the truth is... that highly likely they only scratched the surface of what Khaenri'ah's darkness supposed, which later on would culminate in the Cataclysm also because of those people in great part.
#◟༺✧༻◞ events to be remembered in blue veins ┊addendum.┊#I won't indulge in the thought; I said#watch me dive right into it in full#I'm so sorry dfjhjg#but based on that#and how there are other instances#where the book does seem to tease Khaenri'ah things#I think it sounds fair actually#and it would also remove the uncertainty of#how can be one so blind to not notice anything at /all/#considering it's been a thing ingrained in society for thousands of years#and to be fair I like this take#as it also helps me as a Dain writer#to have a more solid thought in regards#of what could've happened#because no we won't go R.aiden E.i on this one#of “I didn't know frick”#because down to even changing the energy source#from the Ley Lines to the Abyss energy#is suspicious in itself#and part of the reason why the Schwanenritter were in Sumeru#anyhow I'll slowly retire to bed now#I didn't get to do the plotting thingies#but I'll do my best to do that tomorrow#g'night you peeps ♥︎
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My collection of Cinnamoroll items has grown today!! I got some magnets and a little blind-box figurine! I got the entire Uzumaki manga (hardcover!!!) and I've gone through 14 chapters in 3 hours!! My mom also got me a denim jacket!! I've been looking for one to start putting patches on and this one is really cute!! It needs some mending on the lining and a good wash, but I don't mind :3
Overall, it has been a good day!! I got some pictures on my camera, ate lots of cheese sticks, and have some really cute jewellery supplies that I can't wait to use :3 I'm going to play boardgames with my family for the rest of the day!! I hope y'all are doing well 💕💕💕
#the jacket is a little snug in strange places and the lining is itchy old wool. so i will have to inspect it further after a wash.#there are some little frayed gaps in the seams of the lining that i would like to fix up!!#i also got a cup holder for my walker!! i couldnt figure it out so i will have to ask for help later. freedom at last :3#I ALSO GOT THE HOWLS MOVING CASTLE BOOK!!!! VERY EXCITED TO READ IT!!!#uzumaki has been delightful to read and it is so inspiring!! i will definitely be indulging in more of junji itos works!!#if i remember i will share the jewellery pieces my mom n dad got me :3 theyre so gothic and adorable!!#the ONLY downside today is that my siblings got lego minifigs of my fav characters and I GOT POCAHONTAS#my brother got BAYMAX!!!!!!!! HE WILL NOT TRADE WITH ME!!!!! MY SISTER GOT STITCH!! SHE WILL NOT TRADE EITHER!! >:(#alas. everything else has been wonderful :3#i am very grateful that my family is so supportive and caring. they have worked hard to get there.#happy holidays to yall :3 i hope today is a good day. if not i hope tomorrow is better 💕💕💕#batty blogging#text
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Honestly, knowing this event is (presumably) ending on my birthday is already the best gift I could ever get
#negative#from a viewer perspective it’s been a mixed bag#the lines between rp abd cc’s just goofing around feel really weird a lot of the time tho#which is more a me issue ig- idk- I still don’t know how I feel about this all and conflicts and stuff- I’ll have to wait and see#just rly wish it didn’t happen in the middle of so many big personal arcs#the streams have mostly been fun- cuz I the streamers are making it fun#from a fandom perspective it’s been hell and I want to go back to how things were before this badly-#not even in a ‘annoying fans’ way but a ‘wow everyone seems upset all the time’ way#anyone remember Halloween? Halloween was fun….#im just tired and nervous that this is gonna be a Doomsday level event where everything’s gonna be miserable for awhile fandom wise#but like……. I am The Worrier so- lol-#idk……. might try to force myself to take a break tomorrow- just not feeling it rn#can’t even like indulge in hyperfixes or pre-purgatory lore stuff cuz my brain feels weird/bad about it#( not anyone’s fault- my brain is just like that lol )#idk……….. maybe I’ll feel better after I get a full nights rest after tomorrow#vent#at least the fanart is great
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This is a post me begging my friends who follow me to do the dragons tears quest in totk bc I need people to cry with
#I joke about saying I’ll cry or something might break me a lot but oh my#I’ve never EVER cried in a Zelda game before till now#this is probably one of if not the most sweetest and saddest game I’ve ever played#I don’t wanna say anything but if anyone is playing and needs a good cry pls try to finish that quest line#I know I’ll probably go to bad and wake up tomorrow and instantly remember this and start crying again#editing and adding one more thing#I think this quest alone might put this as one of my top games of all time
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Just when you think we're done with fic links, you remember that I'm nearly two days late in publishing the first few pieces of my own homemade fictober prompt list!
That said, here's Day One, for the prompt 'name.' Some light stizzy, with implied ftm Izzy (am I working through feelings via fic about how long it took me to finally find all the names I actually want to use for myself and how one of them is in fact. fucking. I can't even type it out but if you've checked my description in recent days you've probably noticed the change and Understand my faffing about here ANYWAY SORRY LINK INCOMING)
#text post#im not gonna make a fictober tag for these bc like. it's my own list im the only one doing it lmaooooo#plus I usually post fic late enough that I think anyone it might irritate to see more than one link post in a row won't be awake & scrollin#also i just don't want to have to try and remember one quite frankly tho that said if someone really does want a tag to blacklist these#I genuinely would have no problem making one up and remembering it for u so u can blacklist lol just lemme know#I need to finish the last few lines of today's prompt fill and then should try and start tomorrow's bc tomorrow is uh.#less than an hour away as I type lmao
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I have nothing except uni happening in my life right now, so I'll tell you what I dream of doing once I get at least a little freedom (apart from writing erotic cannibalism). I plan on sitting down and watching a ton of nature documentaries. Literally any and every that pops up when I search, ocean, big cats, savannah, apes, insects, South American rainforests... and maybe see what fun exhibitions will be free/cheap to visit. Something conceptual, maybe with contemporary art performances even. Yeah. Dreaming on...
JUJUUUUUU *muah muah*
Those are some cool dreams mate, nature documentary is so cool with all the selections out there now.
Deep sea documentaries are my favorite, especially the ones about species we don’t know that truly exist or not and the alien looking ones. Birds are second favorite.
You know what? Exhibitions sounds like a fun idea actually, I might have to look up some myself to visit here too :D Dude I would love to attend like an orchestra or piano concerts one day…yeah adding these to my to do list…
This is entirely random but somehow your ask triggered my brain again for this niche recommendation on documentaries
If you’re into ocean and like histories and doesn’t have fear towards deep ocean and uh the one about sunken ships (mechaphobia?? Submaphobia?????) I would highly recommend nature documentaries about ecosystem surrounding ship wrecks OR the ship wrecks themselves.
There’s a few out there like Blue Planet (I think the one specifically about this topic is The Deep) and Chronicles: Secret of the Abyss talks about them.
If specifically about ship wrecks, then Natural Geographic series on sunken ship exploration, and Lost Giants are a great start. Some of the interesting ones that I can remember is the wreck in Astrid is also good and OH! Vertical wrecks are also dope as hell (look up HMS Victoria, which I think it’s the only vertical shipwreck). Some other cool one is The Yongala, the one in Philipine which is Doña Paz I think and President Cooledge (there’s like a lady statue that remains visible and the ship basically sinks with most parts remained!)
Another related ones would be plane wrecks in the sea themselves, I don’t remember which video I watched but I think youtube probably have a lot of em.
Honestly these videos gave me chills and like the deep sense of dread so it might not be it for everyone dhshdhshs but I really like the “engineering” (???) part of these documentaries where they talk about how the ship operates during stress events and wreckage.
Which brings me to another recommendation on documentaries, missing sailors or ghost ships, which is when the people on the ships disappeared without any explanations. Ohhhhh man there’s a lot of them out there if you wanna watch something different, spooky and mysteries (I think these would be called…conspiracy videos?documentaries?) But the one that stuck with me is Ourang Medan where one SOS was send out before the ship sank (the SOS said everyone is dead and they were all frozen in shock…HORRIFYING SCENE TO IMAGINE). The famous one would be Mary Celeste (Im more inclined to believe the theory of the crew who thought the ship was going to explode because of alcohol fumes explosion, fled and got lost in the sea). The last one that I remember is about the coal ship where around 12 crew straight up went missing, which is the Carroll A. Deering case. Lots of speculations and drama (one of it involve something to do with the crew being taken by a Bolshevik since it was around the time where the tension between America and Soviet Union was high - the phobia red scare time - I personally feel like it’s a far fetched theory cuz they were nowhere near the coast where these supposed Soviet ship would be around)
#soery i yapped more than i intended and possibly went out of topic and write some totally nonsensical reply fjdjdjdjdjdj#brain on 2%#these are nice dreams tho Juju#i used to have a few goals and dreams while i was still early in my study years#but i cant remember them now…somewhere along the line I just…got really drained#maybe I can learn to find some of them back or make new ones :)#rooting for you in your uni too bud when ya graduate i’ll be hyping you up like theres no tomorrow too#biggest banana bouquest#bouquest????? bouquet#jesus Christ i cant english HAHA#once again gomz talking about a niche topic. this time: sunken ships#😂 of all things!!!#ask response#i was that one weird teen who liked conspiracy videos#prob bcuz of my dad really#he doesn’t believe them so we both make fun of those shows#like ufo - aliens and of fucking course Bermuda Triangles#but something about ship wrecks and ghost ships are fascinating to us#esp the ones where there are no signs of panic or violence#most of the time we agree that its either a pirate kidnap situation or the crew members who murdered the Captain and cleaned up the scene#then flee the boat#i should pick up these series myself again considering I wanna do a sailor au with nikprice#well i wont make it spooky#….or will I? we’ll see 😂#much yap
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I find another reason of why M's familial attitude and treatment towards me are impacting me so deeply much is the fact— taking this in now— that while I had a dismissive and emotionally distant father who pulled the abandonment card when I was thirteen, my mother is never as truly caring and understanding as he is.
#🗯#🧧#I think it's insane that it's someone who I don't even talk to outside workplace and haven't exchanged as many personal conversations yet#that actually makes me want to do better things for myself and my / our life than my very own mother#who I knew throughout my entire life while she doesn't know even a quarter of personal things about me#for an example I have kleptomania so I tend to steal a lot of things#due to my mother belittling / guilttripping me for wanting to buy what I'd like to have as I often experience financial guilt 'cause of her#but on Friday of last week when we had a ' life is hard ' conversation#he had told me along the line about how people would cheat with getting money by robbery stealing etc etc#and he said something like it's important I have to work hard so I won't fall into that kind of future where I lose everything#and it genuinely made me reflect on my kleptomania and thought of trying not to steal more often#vs. my mom would only make me feel worst with the guilt#saying I'd go to jail and I'd embarrass ourselves having people we know learn this and mock at us#and telling me stories of some people going to jail while having to spend so much money for stealing#like my mother never asks me how I'm doing and when she sees I'm sad / upset she'll always make me feel bad about it in some way#it's one of the reasons why I'm so deeply affected by how M treats me 'cause I never truly get to have that real care and support from her#M is an Asian immigrant just like her - likely in the same age group too - yet he has more kindness and emotional awareness than her#and I don't get it. I just wish my parents - at least my mother can be like M.#I think M knows my relationship with her isn't fully positive when I told him certain personal details between myself and her#that had him see that I'd get stressed out about but honestly I hope one day#he can see me as one of his kids while acknowledging our dynamic is something special - for a lack of better description#I just remembered before making this post that tomorrow is Family Day and. man. I'm so sad#I hope tomorrow goes by fast...
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