#more like in a 'the things about desire is that it's stronger when it's not totally satisfied' way

[jesteriajunovix]

I really love this post.

Talking about the implicit harms and toxicity within this Era of Internet Fandom fucking bangs.

There are so many layers of non-indulgence on the part of fans that create this "death of the author" bubble where the themes are melted into the shape of varying crude enigmatic desires.

It's very bizarre the scale of how much of it potentially isn't just ignorance, but a choice to ignore implication too. A very harmful thought that seems to be able to come from all forms of identities & fandom is the idea "I need this".

I need them to be gay, (Fujo Territory, and Toxic BL or GL)

I need them to be white, (White)

I need them to be in pain,

(sensationalized feeling externalized via the art of a character without thought of the contextual reality of what the art may represent to others. [Drawing young characters being bloodied, centering ones venting around depicting a character of another race being tormented, or further brutalizing a character tastelessly.]

and so on.

This idea of needing these characters in these ways and these ways showing themselves to be in demand for a fair share of a fandom's population genuinely is several studies and conversations to be had.

I say this with the intention of not coming off as pessimistic, but I do wonder if there will ever be a time when mediums, and media placed in this category of digital entertainment will be something communally more mature on a broader scale as the people who care about what other generations have deemed as "time wasting" art become more important in facilitating the safe spaces and environments in which this art is discussed and held.

Digital Communal Responsibility. Stronger Social Contracts.

There are so many social issues to worry about before we can really even consider getting there, but I have hope in my heart we will somehow.

It's too easy to ignore the task of actually indulging the meaning of art. Such a growing form of stagnation is so dangerous.

------------------------------------------------------------

Thematic Questions

do you know what your reaction to the media you consume means within the reality of your identity as it intersects with others?

Where do you think an artist's artistic intent comes from?

did it come from a healthy or unhealthy place?

how might your headcanon relatively align or contradict the health state of their art?

does your headcanon come from a healthy or unhealthy place?

Is the way you indulge art amongst fandom and community healthy?

how & why?

This isn't a "put a shirt on" thing. Do your conclusions feel right to you? I can only ask that you explore that for yourself as your ideas surrounding art grow alongside you as a person.......

again SUPER good post from zzxid. They constructed such a good point in such a good way and I appreciate people who can use words like this.

I genuinely think Mouthwashing fandom is a good example on how real life misogyny is very wired on people brains and influenced how they engage with fictional misogyny.

You have a story about a woman being assaulted and telling a man he trusted but being dismissed because he is friends with the attacker, and people fixate on shipping her with either of those me.

You have a story about how men that downplay their male friends violence, assume neutrality is the safer option, unintentionally help create an environment that's unsafe to vulnerable people, at a risk becoming a victim themselves. And people make it about toxic yaoi.

You have a character kill herself because she didn't want birth the child of her abuser. And people make AUs where she happily keep the baby.

Misogyny isn't just "I hate this women", it's also downplaying their trauma, defending those who caused it, and reducing them to mothers or wives against their wished under this idea of what womanhood is about.

I don't think we can separate fandom misogyny from it's real world influence, not yet.

[notreallythatlost]

DIMENSIONS OF HOPE

➴ halbrand/sauron x female!human!reader

summary: he was the only person that gave you hope. until you were finally able to see his darkness.

warnings: 18+, MDNI, fluff, unprotected sex, p in v, fingering, slight dom!reader, riding, mentions of war and death, angst, character death (or not? who knows)

word count: 3k

note: i’ve been not feeling so good lately (it was a very stressful week), so i wrote this and well, it made me feel so much better. i wanted to rewrite my favorite scene from season one — there was this picture in my head and i NEEDED to write that down. hope you’ll love how it turned out as much as i do. enjoy! xx

THE RINGS OF POWER MASTERLIST

Hope. It is the strongest feeling we can have. It is stronger than fear, stronger than pain — stronger than love. Even when we got nothing left, we still have our hope. Because it will never let us down.

You always believed that hope would save you. From falling, from giving in to the darkness.

When you met that one person who felt like hope — you gave him everything. Your body, your soul, your heart. You were ready to let yourself fall because you knew he would save you. But instead, he wanted to let you drown in the darkness.

The sun was just about to rise on the horizon as you let your gaze glide over the roofs of the city and endless expanse of the sea behind them. Númenor was beautiful, there was no doubt about that.

Whether it was the different scents that reached your nose whenever you walked through the streets or the taste of the wine, a little sour but at the same time so sweet that you could never get enough of its taste.

Everything felt so familiar. Just like... home. Even though it wasn’t, not really.

A smile crept onto your lips as you felt someone step behind you. But there was no discomfort, even when his rough hands slid over the delicate skin of your arms, only covered by the soft material of the dress, that was almost transparent — revealing the shape of your body to his gaze, the light of the first rays of sun falling down on you.

You leaned back and could feel his naked chest against your back as you closed your eyes with a soft sigh. You could practically hear his smirk and shivered as he exposed your neck by pushing your hair over your shoulder on one side.

Seconds later, his soft lips touched your skin, knowing what he was triggering in you with that. You hummed as his fingers reached your shoulder. Slowly he let them wander down your sides now and put his lips to your ear, pressing his chest harder against your back.

“What exactly are you watching?” he asked quietly and the sound of his deep voice made you shiver again. “I... was just enjoying the sunrise,” you answered quietly and his hands came to a stop on your hips. “And that is why you got out of bed?” he asked with an amused undertone.

You opened your eyes again while turning to Halbrand, who was looking down at you with a look full of desire. You could see how much he wanted you — and that after he had had you all night already. “Seems like it,” you replied quietly and put your arms around his neck.

Your body pressed against his and you could feel the heat of his skin through the thin fabric of your dress. You stood slightly on your tiptoes, your lips brushing against his in nothing more than the hint of a touch. “What do you intend to do about it?” you asked quietly and bit your lower lip seductively.

That was all he needed. Without another word, he lifted you up so that you were lying in his arms in bridal style. Just like this, he carried you back inside the room and laid you down on the bed.

You couldn't suppress a giggle as he leaned over you and buried his face in the crook of your neck. He ran his finger over your collarbone, further down and finally over the curve of your breasts. The touch drew a gasp from you and your fingers dug into the bedsheets, as they had so many times before.

He made you feel things no one had ever made you feel before. He touched you in places no one had ever touched. But most of all, he gave you hope. Hope to save not only Númenor, but yourself too.

If only you knew that this was not what he wanted.

Halbrand raised his head and smiled as he saw your body react to his touches. He moved his face down to caress your nipples through the fabric with his lips and teeth. You could feel his hand wandering down between your leg and hear his growl at the feeling of your arousal, sending electric shocks through your body that made you arch towards him.

“So needy, so wet,” he murmured softly so that you could barely hear him. But his voice was there as were his touches. And his finger which slowly, almost painfully, slid inside you.

You bit your lower lip, knowing it was pointless. You hadn't been able to hold back before, so why should it be any different now?

“You'll never get enough, will you?” he whispered in your ear, his voice vibrating through your body. Again, you stifled a moan, much to his displease. “Come on, love. You haven't held back all night, don't start with it now,” he warned. And when he added a second finger to the first, you moaned desperately.

Halbrand placed his other hand on the side of your head and studied your face with an intense gaze as he worked you with his fingers. Nothing else could be heard except the smacking sound of your arousal and the longing noises which escaped you.

“You are so beautiful…,” he growled, running his thumb over your lower lip before taking possession of your mouth. His tongue swept over yours as he tasted you deeply. “…all at my mercy.”

With that, he pulled his fingers out of you, eliciting a whimper from you. You opened your eyes, pupils blown and saw Halbrand bring his fingers to his lips and lick them clean.

A tremble ran through your body when he met your gaze and you could see his hunger. He was just about to bend over you again when you stopped him by placing a hand on his chest while you slowly sat up, pushing him back.

He frowned slightly, but his confusion disappeared when you knelt on the bed in front of him, your upper body straightened. Your hand glided over his skin, feeling the heat under your fingertips. His breath caught as you reached the waistband of his pants and a faint smile spread across your face.

With one single movement, you pushed him onto the mattress on his back and now you were the one who leaned over him.

He looked up at you and ran a hand over the back of your head and through your hair until he stopped at your neck. “Like I said... beautiful,” he whispered, running his thumb along your jaw as you leaned down to kiss him.

His other hand slid to your shoulder and he pushed his finger under the fabric of your sleeve to slip it down slightly and expose your bare skin.

When you pulled away from him again and slowly straightened up, the fabric slipped even further down, exposing part of your breasts to his gaze. He looked at you as if you were a star, fallen from the sky, so full of light.

You smiled and started to work on his pants until you pushed them down, freeing his already throbbing cock. After you had thrown the fabric to the side, you took him in your hand and moved it up and down his length. A low groan escaped him while he closed his eyes and your insides clenched painfully around nothing.

“Halbrand,” you whispered as you positioned yourself over him. At the sound of his name, green eyes met yours again and you knew that he wanted it just as much as you did. Without breaking eye contact, you guided the tip of his cock to your entrance and then slowly lowered yourself onto him.

A moan escaped you, so longing that Halbrand trembled beneath you. His eyes were shut, as were yours, and the fabric of the transparent dress brushed against his skin like a feather.

The first movement of your hips made you both moan in pleasure again and he placed his hands on your hips. His fingers dug into your skin so hard that it hurt and you had to whimper softly. With that your movements became more intense as he filled you to the hilt, satisfying all your desires.

Your gaze lowered and you watched as he disappeared inside you, which was so hot that it made your muscles tighten around him.

“Look at me,” he gasped and you obeyed. With that he started moving his hips up and met your movements perfectly. You quickly found your rhythm and a short time later all that was heard were your moaning and the smacking sound of your union.

You were just about to lean down to kiss him, when Halbrand suddenly sat up, but without slipping out of you. His chest pressed against yours now and his hand rested on the back of your head.

His lips found yours in a short but deep kiss, making a little moan escaped you. When you parted again, you leaned your upper body back slowly and moved your hips against his again. This time his cock hit your most sensitive spot from a different angle, which elicited a high pitched whimper from you.

You were getting closer to your climax, you could feel it and you wanted nothing more. You wanted to let yourself go, like so many times last night.

“Look at me,” he growled, his hand coming to your jaw. “I want you to look into my eyes while you come,” he added, and began to rub your clit with the thumb of his other hand. “I want you to scream my name, so that everyone here knows who you belong to.”

And that was all it took.

The orgasm crashed over you like a wave and you did as he said. You screamed his name and you looked into his eyes as your body shook violently. Halbrand ran his thumb greedily over your bottom lip, then you felt him twitch inside you and a heavy gasp escaped his lips as he emptied himself inside you.

You sank down together, your body nearly melting into his, while his fingers glided through the soft strands of your hair as you looked each other deep in the eyes feeling the deep devotion for each other.

The day you found out who Halbrand really was, should change everything.

Galadriel had asked to search through all the old writings that had something to do with the royal line of the Southlands.

And when the messenger returned and handed Galadriel the papers, she turned to you. “I think you should look at it first,” she said, taking your hand to place the scroll in it.

“Why do you distrust him so much?” you asked the elf quietly, but she didn't answer. Instead, she just put a hand on your shoulder before walking past you and leaving you alone.

Some time later you found yourself standing by the waterfall on top of the cliff, far from Eregion. The sound of the falling water was supposed to calm you down, but your heart just wouldn't stop pounding against your chest. Your gaze was fixed on the scroll in your hands, but you couldn't open it yet.

If Galadriel was actually right and Halbrand was not the rightful king of the Southlands, there would be the question who he really was.

And why he had lied — why he had lied to you.

But you trusted that he had told the truth. You trusted him. And you held on to that thought as you opened the scroll with shaking hands.

“Y/N?” his voice suddenly sounded behind you as your gaze slid over the family tree of the kings.

In that very second you realized it and the truth hurt terribly. It took your breath away, as well as all your hope that he would be your salvation.

“Darling, I've been looking for you everywhere. Is everything okay?” he asked as he stopped a few steps away and reached out his hand for you. But before he could touch you, you flinched back and closed your eyes while turning your back to him.

“You lied...” you whispered and clenched your hand into a fist so tightly that your nails left small crescents in your palm.

“I fear I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Halbrand said and you turned around to face him.

You had raised your hand with the scroll slightly, so that his gaze fell on it. “What I’m talking about is, that there is no King of the Southlands. The line is broken, since many centuries by now,” your voice trembled and you threw the scroll on the floor in front of him.

“You've been lying the whole time. You've deceived everyone...” you continued while Halbrand examined the paper at his feet. “But the worst thing is, you lied to me, Halbrand.” He raised his gaze. “Tell me, was it real? Or was I just a toy for you?” There was a tremble in your voice, which you tried to control with all strength while you looked him dead in the eyes. “Tell me who you are, who you really are.”

His eyes were still fixed on you, but his expression had hardened. However, he made no move to answer.

“Tell me who you are!” you screamed at him and then everything happened very quickly. Much too quickly for you to have been able to do anything about it.

Halbrand was suddenly standing so close to you that you could feel his breath and it made you shiver. “I have been walking this earth longer than you can imagine. In that time... I’ve had many names,” he said quietly, causing goosebumps on your body.

“No...” you breathed and felt a tear come out of your eye and run down your cheek. “That can't be. You... you convinced Míriel to come with us to Middle-earth. You fought with us...” you murmured, but his expression remained firm.

“Galadriel convinced her. And I fought against your enemy... and mine,” was his answer, and a small smile appeared on his face.

You shook your head in disbelief and took a step back, unable to bear his near any longer. “I trusted you. I loved you,” you breathed, and Halbrand's expression softened a little. “And you still can,” he replied, but you frowned.

“I'd rather die,” you finally said, your voice only a whisper.

With these words, you turned your back on him again, but the second you turned around, you were no longer in Eregion.

Everything around you was on fire.

The trees, the houses, even the sky. There were the lifeless bodies of humans and elves laying all around you, while ash fell down burying them beneath it.

Tears ran down your cheeks, even though you knew that none of this was real. It was an illusion, but it showed you what the future would bring.

You slowly lifted your gaze and your breath caught. In front of you was a woman who looked exactly like you. It was as if you were looking in a mirror, and yet she seemed completely different. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she wore a beautiful dress but it was more like an armor. On her head was a fine band made of silver that looked very similar to a crown.

Suddenly, black smoke appeared out of nowhere, it was more like a shadow that enveloped your reflection and made it close its eyes. It felt strange to watch you enjoying the darkness, surrendering to it.

In that second, the shadow formed into a figure that stood behind you, putting his arms around your body. It was also wearing an armor and a crown that seemed all too familiar to you.

And suddenly you knew what he was showing you.

Frightened, you took a step back, Halbrand's firm chest behind you stopping you. “Do you see what we can do together?” he asked in your ear and you squeezed your eyes shut, hoping to wake up from this nightmare as quickly as possible.

“See what I can give you?” he continued, but you just shook your head.

“Look at me,” he asked gently, but you couldn't move. “Please, look at me, Y/N,” he said more firmly now and you turned to him avoiding his gaze.

His fingers cupped your chin and pushed your head up so you had to look into his eyes.

“I see you. I see who you really are. Not a mortal woman, with no real home or family, but a warrior. Who will stop at nothing to get what she wants,” he said and you felt his other hand stroke your arm. “Give yourself to me and you’ll see where it brings you.”

“You would make me a tyrant.”

“I would make you a queen. Fair as the sea and the sun. Just as you deserve. You bind me to the light and I give you a live that will last forever. At my side.”

With that, he moved your head so that you have to turn around again. Your gaze fell on your reflection and you saw how you cling desperately to the man behind you while he kissed your neck — and you could feel his lips as Halbrand kissed you there.

“And so much more...” His voice seemed to come from everywhere as his reflection turned back into a shadow that enveloped you completely.

“Together we are invincible. Together, we can save Middle-earth,” he continued and you turned back to him before looking around you. “Is that your idea of ​​saving? All I see is ruin. We would rule Middle-earth, not save it.”

“I see no difference between that,” he whispered, looking expectantly into your eyes. “I can help you to true greatness. No one will ever look at you again with doubt, as if you were just a weak human,” his hand found its way to your cheek and he used his thumb to wipe away the trace your tears had left there.

“Come with me and we will redesign this world. Just the way we want it,” he whispered and came closer to your face, so close that his breath brushed your lips.

And you wanted to give in. You wanted to let yourself be carried away by his darkness, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t let this shadow swallow you.

Slowly you raised your hand and let your fingers slide over his lips. Something flashed in his eyes that you thought was triumph, but his expression changed as you took a step back, closer to the cliff.

“I can’t.”

The illusion around you disappeared and the last thing you saw was Sauron's horrified look as he watched you fall into the depths like the waterfall a few meters away from you.

He tried to stop you, tried to catch your hand — but it was already too late.

And as you fell, one thing became clear to you. He had never been your hope.

All your life, it was yourself.

2024 notreallythatlost

[mikimakiboo]

Next in line for the backstory issssss

Killer !

Killer was born in the great Roman Empire in a very rich family !

As a slave.

His mother was a slave, and so he automatically was a slave too, and spent all of his childhood alternating between learning basic things and serving his masters, and then his teenage years just serving them

The house he was in was big with many slaves, his masters being very wealthy, even tho they lived in a rather small town

Killer's main job was cleaning, he would clean the floors as well as the laundry, clean the dishes, ... but he also served the masters directly by bringing them all sort of things the would ask for

Normally there would have been a slave per job but Killer was often punished and would have to work more

He wasn't the best slave, tending to be forgetful, slow, leaving out unclean spots, bringing back the wrong things... and so his masters would either make him work more when they were in a rather good day, or when they weren't in a good day, they would physically punish him by whiping his back, among other things

The times when he was working with the other slaves were calmer, they would chat, tell stories, the slaves who were once war prisoners would tell about their fights, he really liked listening to these stories and daydream about a different life in which he would be free

He knew some slaves could be freed, but usually these slaves were freed because they either paid a very high price, because their master died and wrote it in their will, or because they did an exceptionally great job and got rewarded, and Killer knew that it was all out of reach for him because he didn't have any money, his masters were young and healthy, and he wasn't doing a good job that would deserve a reward of any kind

He really wanted to be free thought, he wanted more than working everyday for the same persons, he wanted to travel, to discover the Empire that everyone kept saying was so great, to have a chance to chose his own way in life

He knew he wouldn't be freed anytime soon, but he also knew that if he didn't have any masters, then he technically wouldn't be a slave anymore

So he started plotting, he knew everyone's habits, he knew when and where they would be alone, what they would be doing, where the masters would be, he knew everything as he was here since his litteral birth

He would have to kill the masters, but he couldn't risk leaving witnesses so he would have to kill the slaves following them around, and since he didn't want the other slaves to tell everyone it was him, as he would be the only one missing since he planned to run away, that meant he would just have to kill everyone in the household, to make sure no one could ever know it was him who did it

It did sadden him a little to have to kill the slaves he worked with, he liked them, but his desire to be free was stronger and so he didn't hesitate when he stabbed them too

Once he made sure that no one was still breathing he waited for the night and ran away from the town with only a bag and his knife, going as far as he could, to make sure no one would catch him, and luckily his appearance changed when he started killing so he didn't look too much like himself anymore with the black liquid dripping from his sockets and his target shaped soul

Since that moment he started going from city to city, stealing food, clothes and all sort of things he could sell and make money from

He never stayed too long in one city and changed his name to a new one each time he moved, he picked Killer on the spot when Dust asked what his name was, and it ended up sticking with him

About the trauma now:

He has pretty bad scars on his back that he tends to hide, not wanting anyone to connect the dots and recognize it as punishment marks, and the scars are so big that he actually doesn't have that much sensation left on his back, he would feel it if you slap him but not if you caress the scars and due to this lack of sensations he absolutely hates it when someone touches his back, it makes him feel vulnerable and is part of why he always sleeps against a wall to make sure his back isn't exposed

He also hates receiving orders for a very obvious reason and he hates that his first instinct upon receiving orders is moving to do it, he has to stop himself from following the orders and he hates it, he hates how his training hasn't left him (the fact he doesn't understand any of what the gang says is good in a way because even if they do give him orders he just doesn't understand so he doesn't move, but he has the feeling that they don't give him orders anyways)

He's also very observant and notices small details about people due to him always analyzing his masters to see if they were in a good mood or not, he doesn't say anything tho, he just stares and sometimes smiles

And yes it's creepy, he finds it funny

[thedevilsoftruth]

♡-Sacred-♡

Gyomei Himejima x F! Reader

Gyomei comes home to you, his wife, after a very long mission, feeling like he has to make up for not being able to satisfy you while he was gone.

Warning: Sexual content, vaginal fingering, Gyomei calls you angel and is so sweet 😭🙏 not beta read, sorry!

( Also, I don't usually write in this pov. Sorry if it's weird. )

Song recommended - Sacred by Depeche Mode

Minors dni! I am not responsible for what you find on the internet.

It had been 2 months. 2 months of tears and prayers of wishing each other's safety. And now he had finally been home for the first time in days. For some reason, he had found it hard not to cry. In these past 2 months, he had done nothing but cry and pray that you would be safe without him there to protect you.

There was, of course, lots of sexual frustration between you and yourself during the time he had been gone. You knew what the consequences of marrying a slayer would be. You knew marrying Gyomei meant that there would be nights when his side of the bed would be empty. And he knew that marrying you could mean that you could lose him completely--or even worse, he could lose you. But he was back now. Back after long, sleepless nights without you. Back after a long, frustrating mission.

And now, he had to make up for the lost time. He had to make up for not writing to you, for not being able to take care of you.

For not being able to keep your bed warm...

Tears of frustration were shead. Bodies were caressed, whispers of pure love and apologies were exchanged. And yet, he found that his desire to want to be able to stasify you was stronger than his capability to hold his tongue and swallow his pride. He hadn't been able to truly express his love to you in months, and then, all of a sudden, he's up and gone in the middle of the night and leaves you alone for 2 months? It wasn't fair to you. He knew he was a better lover than that.

And so, he heald you in his arms, and silent tears fell down his pale cheeks as he begged you for your forgiveness. All you could do was cup his face in your hands--the hands that felt like the size of 2 small pebbles in his large, calloused hands--and tell him that you loved him and thank him for his protection. This was a man who loved you beyond a thousand stars. This was a man who would never, no matter all the words in any man-made language, have enough words to express how much he loved and cared about you. To him, you were an angel sent from the heavens just for him. To him, you were the most precious thing in his life. To him, you were sacred.

And so, he would press his lips against yours and gently press your back against the futon you both shared. His hands, though large and rough, would gently stroll down your neck to your chest, his lips working against yours to show you how much he loved you. When he would feel your legs begin to part around his wide waist, he would feel his face begin to heat up and would inquire, though he knew what he was doing and he knew what you wanted to say, " Angel, are you sure? "

His voice, soft like the petals of a flower, deep as an ocean, would speak in your ear--barley above a whisper. You would find yourself putting your hands on his muscular chest, caressing him, working your way down to the buttons of his uniform, leaning your mouth against his ear to whisper words of consent as you unbuttoned his shirt. The moment you would say yes would be the exact moment when he would allow you to strip him of the top of his uniform, and you would allow him to kiss you once more--gently, yet hungrily.

He wanted nothing in that moment but to take you completely, but he knew of the pain that would cause you, and so he swallowed his desires, and he would instead focus his attention on kissing your neck. He would reach underneath you and unbuckle your bra, toss it somewhere, and continue his gentle, soft caresses on your skin. A small moan would scraper from your lips, and he would feel his desire for you growing to an irresistible height.

And so, he would instruct you to sit on his lap with your back against his chest--one of his personal favorite positions--and his hands would grab at anything that they could as his lips danced across the nape of your neck.

" So sweet... "

He would whisper, his breath hot against your skin as his hands would drag down to your soft, plump thighs. He would stroke the inside of your thighs sweetly, his ears being filled with the music of your intoxicating moans. In your ear, he would ask you for your permission once more, and your head would bob up and down egarly, granting him the consent he so desperately needed.

He'd inhale your scent, sliding a thick middle finger down to your center, his touch delicate as he felt through the wetness of everything you had to offer to him. The calloused, rough pad of his middle finger would slide up and down your tiny bud of nerves, inflicting a soft moan out of you. Your head would fall against his bare chest, and he would smile in satisfaction as he added another thick finger to join the journey of giving his angel the love she needed.

Your two soft lips would part as his fingers would move faster against your clit, giving you the exact pleasure that he knew you had been craving for months.

" Is this good, my love? "

His voice was so sweet, so innocent for the things he was doing to you, the ways in which he was making you moan. Your eyes would flutter shut, and your legs would shake against his hand, a sight that would have certainly drove him mad if he was able to see it.

" Yes, yes. So good. "

Your voice was barely a whisper, but acted as a motivation for your husband to go faster--harder. His fingers would rub rough circles around your sensitive clit, his lips finding yours over your shoulder, capturing your soft noises in a heated kiss. He would slide his fingers down your folds, the calloused tips of his fingers prodding at your entrance, asking for permission. You would grant your permission by bucking your hips against his hand, pressing his fingers further into your flesh.

His lips would disconnect from yours, and he would smile at you sweetly, adding his 2 thick fingers into your hot, needy core. A low, satisfied moan would escape your wet, plump lips. You would look up at him from your shoulder and whimper softly as his fingers pumped in and out of you slowly. His free hand would reach up to cup around your breast, his hand large enough to fit around your flesh fully. A gasp would leave your lips, your hips would jerk, and a wave of electrifying sensations would come crashing down on you.

His thumb rolls over your nipple, soft lips whispering sweet nothings to you as he kisses your neck. His lips would trail gentle lines across your shoulder, your legs shaking around his hand, your core clenching around his thick fingers desperately.

" Gyo.... "

Oh, if only he could see the sight before him. If only he could see the way your head rested against his chest, your face tilted towards his even though your eyes were fluttered shut. If only he could see the way your thighs shook at his touch, the way your mouth fell open as you moaned at his touch.

His thick eyebrows would furrow in concentration, and his fingers would redouble their efforts on your soft cunt, curling and pumping into your flesh as you whimpered and moaned at his touch. A chant of his name would leave your lips, the sound of your soft, broken voice sounding like a prayer to him and blessing his ears. His thumb would press against your stimulated clit, and you would whine loudly, bucking your hips against his hand.

" Angel, you're close, aren't you? "

Hearing his voice, feeling his intoxicating touch, all of it was enough to send you flying. And so, your hand would lower down to wrap around his wrists, not asking him to stop but begging him to continue. He would hear you whine and feel you nod against his shoulder, your cunt fluttering against his fingers as if it was just asking for release.

" So sweet. "

Kiss.

" Angel, "

Kiss.

" Come for me. "

He would lay one of his final kisses on your soft, flushed cheek. His thumb would roll around around your clit, and his fingers would finally hit against that special spot inside you that drove you off the edge of ecstasy.

" Gyo... oh, mm. "

All you would be able to do was simply moan and repeat his name. And oh, on the gods above, did he swear that it was the sweetest thing that he could ever hear and feel. The way your sweet cunt would be pulsating and drinking him in, the way his name would leave yours lips. All of it, all of it, was enough to make him a madman.

All it would take for you to finally come down on him was a few more pumps of his fingers, sweet, sensual whispers of encouragement and soft kisses on your shoulder. He would smile against your skin as you would pant, your sweet core dripping the hot liquid of your release down his thick fingers.

" There you go. Does that feel good, my love? "

[puck-luck]

hey @yauchfilms, enjoy :D this is your brainchild fr i credit you

Warnings: sub!m, no penetration, grinding, mental restraint needed instead of defaulting to physical restraint WC: 693

“Ti, if you can’t keep your hands where they’re allowed, then I’m going to have to pull out the handcuffs.”

If Mattias was told to make a list of things he’d expected you to say today, that sentence would not have made it onto the sheet of paper in a million years. He also can’t really decide how he feels about it– it’s jarring to hear you say such a thing, but… but. That’s where the sentence ends. Mattias’s mind goes blank after he reaches the conjunction. His mind is only able to think of a shrug. 

His hands return to your ass, the most scandalous place you’ll allow. Once they’re cemented on the globes of your cheeks, he’s determined to keep them there. It takes a lot of effort, but Mattias wants to be obedient.

You’re trying something new. Normally, Mattias takes charge in the bedroom. After all, he’s the bigger one. He’s stronger, partially because he’s a big dude and partially because he’s a professional athlete. One thing he rarely has, in the bedroom, is self-restraint. 

Your goal is to teach him.

It’s how you ended up on top of him. He’s not even inside of you– you’re just sitting with his cock nestled between your folds, rocking back and forth across his length. His hands are allowed to rest on your ass or your waist. The second he starts guiding you, you stop moving. It’s infuriating and, well, so sexy, so Mattias is ready to give you everything you’re asking for.

He stares up at you, head cushioned by the pillow below him. He’s got a nice view of your body, naked and undeniably yearning for contact the same way his is. Your nipples have peaked, there is a pretty flush coating your visage and creeping down your neck and chest, and your cunt is dripping. 

“Now you’re listening,” you tease, a fond quirk of your lips brightening your face. Your palms are flat against Mattias’s chest, which only aids you as you resume your grinding. You have leverage, an advantage over your big, strong boyfriend, and it’s exciting you both. 

You’d expected him to put up more of a fight. You’d expected him to take control of the encounter– flip you over like he normally does and pound into your cunt until you’re shaking beneath him. 

That’s not what’s happening. No, Mattias is behaving. He’s listening to your words and soaking them in with a dumfounded look on his face, blinking incomprehensively. 

Unconsciously, his fingers twitch. You’re looking down at his cock, where the tip lays against his abdomen. His hands flex as a drop of precum blurts out of his slit, settling against the soft skin of his stomach. 

Just as you prepare to stop your movements, Mattias’s eyes grow hooded and he relaxes his grip. His hands drift up, finding your waist, removing his biggest temptation completely. He’s no longer playing a dangerous game by touching your ass– he’s finally dropping one of the remaining shreds of his desire for control.

“That’s it, baby. Fuck, you’re being such a good boy,” you praise, working your hips faster. You bring one of your hands down to his tip and trace your fingers over the details of his skin that you’ve come to know over many intimate rendezvous. You find the line of his slit, the veins near the crown, and each patch of skin that seems to blush an angrier red or throb more noticeably. Your touch is featherlight and Mattias lets out an involuntary catch of his breath, just as more precum pools from his tip.

He’s really not sure, but this– having you on top, with your pussy so close but the hug of your walls seemingly lightyears away, and the softm kind words that he normally whispers in your ear parroted back at him– this has to happen again. 

You’re always Mattias’s good girl, even when you’re teasing him. Mattias just didn’t realize how badly he needs to be your good boy– he’s got a taste of it, and the craving is insatiable. He’d do anything you ask just to hear you say that again.

[riansdiary]

YOU HAVE IT ALL NOW. END OF STORY. PERIOD. DOOR SLAM!!! (Be Your Own Abdullah!)

Dearest Gentle Readers 💎

Let this be the last Tumblr post that you will read. This is the secret to not wavering and spiraling. Aren't you tired? If yes then continue reading. If not, grab that manifestation by the horns and be stubborn about you having it already no matter what.

I have a little Halloween aesthetic treat for you today and Nancy Wheeler who I love so much from Stranger Things! I've been rewatching Stranger Things to get ready for the fifth season and some parts of it made me think about manifestation. In fact, I have a new analogy coming soon and I'm working on it now.

Before anything, I wanna thank the people who helped me have a better and stronger new mindset about all this. First of all, I'd like to thank @babygothprincess as usual for her deciding post that has really helped me a lot. Second, I am grateful for Taylor Tookes' updated outlook and mindset about manifestation that immensely improved mine as well. I agreed completely with everything she said.

Fun fact: I loved her X account as it really helped my mindset get better and her tweets have helped me a lot. Let me just set up the story. I wanted her to have an updated video about her new way of manifesting now that can be seen on her X account. I just decreed and decided that she's gonna post an updated video about her new mindset and beliefs about the law of assumption and voila! Later on, I went to her YouTube account to watch a video and she has a new video about the exact topic I wanted! Yes, I manifested it. I did that once and relaxed. Told myself that it is done.

The third and last is for Nancy Wheeler from Stranger Things. She helped me become braver and stronger just by embodying her. This is about normal everyday things like when I'm scared of something but also about manifestation. She helped me realize that I need to stand my ground when it comes to my desires and become a badass boss when I decree or decide, affirm or command my subconscious.

This is your reminder to fully claim and accept your desires as yours now. Stop wavering and spiraling. You have to know that you have the choice. The choice to dwell on the old story, circumstances or 3d. Whatever you see that you don't want or the choice to be stubborn in the fact that you already have it, keep saying that you have it now and stop taking bullshit from anything. Not let anything dictate whether you have it or not other than yourself.

Okay now let's move on...

YOU 👏 HAVE 👏 THAT 👏 CHOICE 👏

But do you have the courage and the badass energy to deny what you see and keep telling yourself that you have it now?

"Oh but he said he didn't like me."

"Oh I didn't get into the college I wanted"

"It didn't work. I need to do more."

Who has the power here? You have to remember all the time that YOU ARE IN CONTROL, YOU HAVE THE POWER AND IT WILL GO EXACTLY HOW YOU SAY IT WILL GO.

WHAT 👏 YOU 👏 SAY 👏 GOES 👏

You are the operant power for a freaking reason. You are in control and it's based on if you agree that you don't have it because of what you see or you deny, say no and are stubborn about you having it now.

It's simple. You either agree or disagree. Say yes or no. You have that choice and keep decreeing that you have it now no matter what happens. If that's how you are on the inside, it's done. That is what the 3d would follow if you still use that term. If only you keep telling yourself that and deciding that you have it now.

You already have it no matter what you see. You are the boss and what you say goes. If you say that you have it, you have it now. What I mean is you have the conscious choice to dwell on those things or decide now in this moment that you have it. There's nobody else who can be the best Abdullah for you other than yourself so be stubborn and slam the door in your own face and keep going to the end.

You have to do it for yourself and always go back to deciding that you have it now. You need to be your own Abdullah. No one decides for you if you have your desire or not other than yourself. You have the "choice" to dwell on that or completely claim that desire as yours every time it crosses your mind.

That's all you need to do. Decide it's yours, say "I don't care, who cares? I'm the boss I have the power. I choose. This has no power over me and it doesn't mean anything."

The 3d does not stand a chance if you keep claiming and saying that you have this desire now. The limited dead reality 3d doesn't stand a chance if you decreed that you have it and it is done. Just keep gently reminding yourself that you have it now and it is done because you are the operant power, the boss and the freaking queen or king of this reality.

Just stop separating the 3d and the 4d. That just implies more process. If you truly believe that then that's fine but I'm just here to help and tell you what I learned. If you decided that you have it, you have it period. If you keep reminding yourself that and decreeing that then it has no choice but to manifest anyway. Be careful not to get stuck in the "manifesting" phase. Have it now.

Just think that it is done and you're at the end. Feel how you would feel if it's already done and no it's not emotions. I dismiss and not give any meaning to what's happening around me and I just decree or affirm and assume that it is done. It's already here.

I would then feel like it is already here and feel myself feeling relaxed and contented and calm. Feel it real and feel that it's done.

It's time to stop being a softie and letting anything else outside of you dictate whether you have it or not.

BE 👏 LIKE 👏 NANCY 👏 FUCKING 👏 WHEELER 👏 AND 👏 STAND 👏 YOUR 👏 GROUND 👏

Do you really think that Nancy would be able to properly shoot Vecna if she was worrying and being scared of him? "Oh Vecna said she can't shoot him, he's superhuman and way too powerful!" Do you think Nancy would just agree to that and give up? NO.

It's like Vecna is the 3d when he was in Nancy's mind and the 3d said you didn't have it, would you agree to that? Be honest. Do you know how stupid that sounds? I don't mean that it's just you because I was once like this too. Letting the unwanted invade my mind instead of standing my ground, disagreeing and decreeing that all my desires are here now.

So please. Be your own Abdullah and slam the fucking door in your face, I'm reminding you once more. That means you take what you affirm or say or decree as a fact and it is done because you said it is. Nothing can ruin your manifestations if you already have it. You're the judge of it all, think in your favor and tell yourself that you have it now period! Stop waiting, stop manifesting and start having it now. Feel the feeling of relief and calm or whatever feeling comes up when you think that you have it now and it's done. Don't force it.

You have it, it's already done and it's already here!

No one can take that away from you other than yourself too. It is what you say it is so if you decide or affirm that you have all of your desires now then take that as a fact and feel how it feels now that you know that no matter what happens (unless you let it happen and agree to the unwanted), you have all your desires now and it's already here. Assume that it is. Choose to have it now period. Not in 4d and 3d and separating them. You have it now, it's already here. That's it. It's already done. Just trust in the law and relax.

Do what makes you happy because it will help you take your attention away from the unwanted things you might see. Watch your favorite shows or movies or relaxing vlogs!

Don't let Vecna (unwanted things or circumstances) or yourself take your desires from you from now on. Become Nancy Wheeler, be a boss and stand your ground. You're the operant power of your reality for a whole damn reason.

Have strong will and stop letting anyone or anything else dictate if you have your desires or not. Stop being so weak and letting Vecna a.k.a anything you don't want gain control on how your reality should be or if you have it your desires.

If it's not what you want that you see, deny and disagree. Remind yourself that you have it now.

I kept repeating the key parts of this post so you will really get it ingrained in your brain.

Don't forget that the 3d or your circumstances have no meaning other than what you give it. It doesn't have any meaning except when you give it meaning like if you say that the old story is true and you don't have it. I'm sure all of us made that mistake before. Correct it. It has no meaning. Why not think that even whatever you see means that you have it.

Literally say:

"Everything means I have all my desires."

Yours Truly,

Lady Rian Whistledown 💋

[woobifykamukura]

my pet theory is that any danganronpa media worth its salt has to be a little bit about a corrupt bullshit orginization and how much it sucks. the first 2 games are literally about how the punitive justice system sucks fucking shit. first game shows this by every blackened having a Reason for kilking outside of "murder yaaayyy," yes even celestia, her desire for money is explained in depth from her free time events and how she grew up, everyone had a Reason. sakura's suicide was the result of societal punitive justice instead of institutional and how people who think their moral outrage is good bc its aimed at the "correct targets" will just end up hurting people. second game takes this even furthur and goes "in the first game, punitive justice was bad because all these people were victims of circumstance. can you keep those same morals when the people being subject to punitive justice ARE actual criminals of their own free will?" with the added part about the nwp explicitly being a rehabilitative justice program. kamukura's inclusion and honestly dr:0 as a whole since the whole catalyst was kamukura is just a little bit about how any kind of exceptionally smart child is propped up as Something Amazing and is basically forced to use that talent for the greater good despite any feelings the child themself may have about it or how stuck they feel or how traumatized or tortured they become in the search for and nurturing of that talent, and any child thats not that is constantly told theyre inferior to the former and Why Cant They Be Like That and are seen as lesser-than by everyone around them. ultra despair girls is also kind of about that with the warriors of hope and their backstories. dr3 and v3 fall short because they are not about that at all. dr3's future arc is a bit stronger than despair because it actually is about an institution that sucks and despair's feels too much like an interpersonal thing and All Junko's Fault when the whole point was junko just took advantage of unrest that was already there. v3 is about an Institution That Sucks however the institution is "what if you loved a murder game so much you made it real" which doesnt fucking happen. you can make approximations like comparisons to true crime, reality tv, and for a more specific example that squid game reality show. but they didnt even kill people on that. v3 is critiquing something that does not measurably exist and also it doesnt connect to even a single theme from the rest of the series. my other pet theory is that kodaka is scared of the number 3 and thats why the ones with 3 in them are like that

[softlyspun]

Oh, this is fun! As a historical costumer, I have some Thoughts on how corsetry and fit interact, and this is actually a topic that was keeping me from writing a costuming post for the Ginger and Mint girls. Might as well get it out of the way now! So, corsets...

I think the first thing that might not be completely obvious is corsets are sturdy. Even cheap ones from places like Corset Story are much, mush heavier than, say, a t-shirt or dress shirt. For its components:

The Busk

So, when I refer to the busk, I'm taking about the front closure of the corset, this bit right here:

(My cat decided to help.)

This is the bit that's going to give you trouble when you put the corset on, even if it's the correct size. It's a rigid bit of metal, much, much less flexible than the rest of the corset bones, and it's where the closures are attached. Usually those are the little metal clasps that you see here, but sometimes, especially in modern fashion corsets, you get some really whimsical ones, like this thing from Corset Story.

I'm inclined to say the busk isn't generally a point of failure in a corset: those little metal loops are riveted in place.

Next, we have

The Bones

So, when I'm talking about corset bones, I mean these bits:

These are long strips of something stiff but flexible. Historically, whalebone (a misleading name, it's actually baleen) was used, though, you'll also see things like stiff cord or reeds used for the purpose. Modern corsets use plastic or metal. They tend to be about the weight and flexibility of zip ties, maybe slightly stiffer. With time and use, these bones will conform to the shape of the wearer's body. This is sometimes a point of failure, usually when the boning pokes through at either the top or bottom of the corset. This will usually manifest as the tip of a bone poking you. (Almost every time this has happened to me, it's been under the armpit, but it could just as easily jam annoyingly into your waist). I suppose, technically, if it was put under some kind of weird strain, a bone could snap and poke through the middle of the garment.

Last, we have:

The Laces

So, a corset is actually a fantastically adjustable garment. This isn't to say that it isn't possible to wear them too tight, or for a corset to be too small, but in general they're a lot more forgiving than pop culture would have you believe.

At least with the corsets I've worn, the top and the bottom of the corset actually lace separately, and they tie at the middle. I almost always end up loosening the laces almost as far as they'll go when putting a corset on, getting the busk fastened, and then lacing it to the desired tightness.

While it's possible to lace it up on your own, the whole thing is much easier with another pair of hands.

For the points of failure here: the laces themselves can vary wildly. I've personally never had an issue with laces breaking, but it's not impossible that they might fray/weaken against the eyelets, or, if they're under a lot of strain and made from a flimsier material, they might just snap. The eyelets themselves are another potential point of failure: I've found that they can pull out and tear a garment when under strain (Or if you make the mistake of putting a grommeted garment through the wash. RIP, the kirtles I made in college). This is less of an issue when you're looking at historical construction, since historical eyelets are more or less embroidered into the garment, like this:

This is stronger and less likely to pull out, but still has the potential to unravel or wear out.

The final potential point of failure is the fabric of the corset itself. Like I said, these things are sturdy, but they're not indestructible. If the corset was already worn/damaged, and not carefully mended, it's possible for the fabric to tear (possibly dramatically!)

Just for funsies, let's look at how likely the issues are to occur:

The corset is uncomfortably tight, and it's all your character can think about.

Yeah, this is absolutely likely to happen. I think anyone who's done historical reenactment or cosplay has misjudged the fit of a costume at some point. Bonus points if the corset is an integral part of the costume, or if you're at a con or a Faire where you can't easily get out of the stupid thing. It almost always goes along with chaffing from the fabric of whatever you're wearing underneath the corset (and you should be wearing something underneath the corset. They're undergarments, but not next-to-the-skin undergarments)

I actually have my own personal experience with this. At a wedding, a reenactment friend came up to ask why I wasn't dancing. When I mentioned that I was corseted into a formal dress that didn't quite fit, her face went from teasing to sympathetic, and she assured me that I should just sit down.

The corset won't fit, no matter how much your character--or a helper--tries to get it on.

Like I said before, corsets are surprisingly forgiving (just lace it looser), but sometimes a garment is just too small. This is bound to be a point of frustration: even mass-produced fashion corsets can set you back a couple hundred bucks, and it takes a while for them to ship. If it's a custom corset, that's a much, much bigger investment, in time, money, or both. Depending on how much time you have before the event where the corset was being worn, this might require some radical changes to costume/garment plans. Many historical dresses are made to fit over structured undergarments, and won't fit correctly (or possibly at all) without a corset underneath. If it's for a cosplay, this might mean having to frantically throw together a look-alike out of duct tape and hope the morning of the convention.

All that being said, it might be possible to salvage the garment by just adding in a new panel. This was often how maternity corsets were handled in-period. Still, if the character is in a hurry, this is likely to end up being an obvious patch job, especially if they don't have a matching fabric on hand. If the corset is being worn as an undergarment, this might not matter. If it's being worn as a fashionable overgarment, it might cause remarks.

The corset is beginning to break or come undone as it struggles to contain your character.

I suppose it's possible that a less-experienced assistant might tie a bad knot that could come undone, which would honestly be the best case scenario here. The corset would just loosen as the night went on. Otherwise, this is the herald of frustration: this is going to mean either some time-consuming repairs, or buying a new corset.

The corset bursts open, unable to contain the pressure behind it.

This one's pure fantasy (not that there's anything wrong with that!) The possible ways I can see this working:

The rivets along the busk pull out, letting the corset fall open in the front.

The laces tear, sending shreds of ribbon everywhere, and the garment opening in the back.

The fabric itself tears, probably along one of the sides, in between the bones.

The corset is too restrictive to take off, and your character needs help getting out of it.

This has so, so much potential for a sweet, intimate moment. At the end of a day, feet and head both aching, I've found that I usually just want my beautiful outfit off. And there's always that point of exhaustion, realizing that the busk isn't going to cooperate and let you get out without unlacing the stupid thing, but that the laces are either tied too tight for you to undo yourself, or the knot is just out of reach. Turning to your equally exhausted assistant, and just quietly asking for help. The sigh of relief when the corset finally falls away. The red marks on your skin, where the fabric was pressed too-close for hours. The overall soreness of being through a busy day in costume, and the satisfaction of having had a great event. A vow to take things easy tomorrow, to let your body rest and recover.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on corsets and historical costumes as they relate to this kind of kinky fun!

corset prompts if u can!!! like being too big for a corset and just either not fitting or burstin it if thats ok !!

A time and a place:

On the way to an event that your character needs/wants to look extra nice for.

At an event, presumably with plenty of people your character wants to look good in front of.

On the way home from an event that your character may or may not have gotten a little too wild at.

At home, while getting dressed.

At a store, while trying things on.

The issue:

The corset is uncomfortably tight, and it's all your character can think about.

The corset won't fit, no matter how much your character--or a helper--tries to get it on.

The corset is beginning to break or come undone as it struggles to contain your character.

The corset bursts open, unable to contain the pressure behind it.

The corset is too restrictive to take off, and your character needs help getting out of it.

The cause:

No fault on your character's part; the corset was simply too small for their body.

Too much eating/drinking.

The corset used to fit, but your character has gained weight since they last wore it.

Bloating, be it from nerves, bubbly drinks, something they ate earlier, what have you.

Too much movement, gradually wearing on the too-tight corset and/or your character.

[vorakh]

mm but seriously pathologic rewired my brain in how to approach a narration and the time and space it takes place in. you don't need a date to find its correspondence in your history book. you don't need to find this city on your world map. you don't need to know where the line between delusion, reality and magic is set. you don't even need to know who these people were and will be once their act is over. deal with it.

[get-more-bald]

every day I thank god fans aren't in charge of making updates to games

[deadrocks]

Played "Remember, You Will Die" this afternoon and really enjoyed it, while also feeling just this escalating dread? melancholy? frustration? pity? at playing an MC who feels so overwhelmingly trapped. Physically powerful, possessing a rare skill, and yet when people look at you all they is see a mad dog on a leash and all you can choose is whether or not to bark. If this sounds like a criticism I promise you it is not, quite the opposite. It added such a weight to little moments of choosing (relative) mercy, of looking for ways to achieve your goals that involved a little more finesse or discretion. Not to be "good" but to be something other than what everyone expects of you--to choose. To snatch at whatever little bit of autonomy came your way. Will be excited to play more of this as it's updated and to see at what point the MC will get to really slip the leash.

[omarwolaeth]

thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks

[mihotose]

obviously im glad james somerton didnt make his disco elysium video but i also think its aftermath would have been extremely funny

[babycharmander]

(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)

I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.

I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).

So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:

"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:

"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"

I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:

"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"

It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.

Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...

"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."

He sees himself as a monster.

And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.

"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"

Which... speaking of him and Ford...

Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.

Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)

Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.

And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.

And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.

After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.

He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.

And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.

"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"

I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?

In short,

[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]

[okay-babe]

Imagine alastor thinks his wife is just the most perfect, angelic being he’s ever met, so he’s downright shocked to fight out she also ended up in hell going “yeah I killed a man once” (he falls even more in love)

A Good Thing, Indeed

tags: alastor x fem! reader, established relationship, alastor and reader are married, angelic reader, protective/possessive alastor, brief human alastor x human reader, fluff, very mild angst note: I went a little overboard with this one, but I hope you enjoy, anon <3 Find a sequel (of sorts) to this fic, here.

Alastor had never quite understood how someone like him had ended up with a woman like you.

You were soft and understanding, utterly ceaseless in your kindness and love of near anyone who crossed your path, a true saint to be sure.

Alastor on the other hand, had always been quite the opposite.

Where you were soft, your lover was unyielding, where you were understanding, he was impatient, and when it came to the capacity for kindness and love within his heart, many would have gone on record stating that there was much to be desired in that regard.

Yet, even still, you chose him, and he, you.

Every. Single. Time.

It was as if the two of you were meant to be.

The proud and charismatic up and coming host of a brand new radio show, and the modest and soft spoken kindergarten teacher that was ever present upon his arm.

To Alastor, you were everything and more, and whether he was willing to admit it aloud or not, he all but worshiped the very ground that you walked upon.

There was so very little worth caring for in a world like the one that he lived in, and yet there you were, a shining beacon of light and hope to keep him from losing his mind over it all (well, at least in part, though he knew deep down that a portion had been missing since long before you'd made your way into his life).

For all of this, Alastor praised you and your love ceaselessly, his appreciation for your union a vast and endless thing that filled him with a sense of pride stronger than any other he'd felt before.

And how could it not?

You were his wife.

You!

The beautiful kindergarten teacher who worked in the public school just down the street from his broadcasting station, the one with the smile that lit up a room and the laugh that could make a man blush.

The one with the students who sung her praises to their parents during pick up and the coworkers turned friends who would utterly gush about her at even the briefest mention of her name.

You.

The woman that no one believed had gotten New Orleans' most prominent radio host to settle down after only just a year of courting, and whose stunning church wedding had been the talk of the town.

You were perfect, you were lovely, and the sweetest part of it all was that you bore his last name.

And oh, what whiplash that must have caused for those who hadn't known of your courtship earlier on. It nearly sent Alastor into a tizzy just imagining it.

The sweet, adoring woman that your son calls his teacher is also the wife of the ever unreadable and notably cold radio host from just down the street that scarcely any could say they truly knew?

How scandalous! Whatever is a woman like her doing with a man like him?!

Well, the answer, quite honestly, was being doted upon nigh endlessly.

If you wanted for even the smallest of things, it would be yours in an instant, and if you desired even the most useless of luxuries, he would have spared no expense to have it in your hands by the end of the day.

And even beyond that, there was the persistent desire to stay by your side, his presence always guaranteed the very moment you mentioned want for it.

An ice cream social at the school where you'd be meeting your new students and their parents? Alastor was there, conversing politely with a few mothers on the difficulties of parenting (in spite of his notable lack of children), making nearly everyone wonder what the hell a famous radio host was doing at the local elementary school.

Visiting Mimzy at her slightly sleazy little lounge in the shadier side of the city? Alastor was there, dressed to the nines, looking immensely out of place as you danced the night away with your friends (and him of course) to your little heart's content.

His love for you was nearly as endless as yours was for the very world beneath your feet, and in spite of himself he couldn't help but fall deeper and deeper in love at every borderline naive action you took.

You want to buy that man a drink because he looks lonely? Certainly darling, your husband would be happy to scare him off all night as the fool tries to make unwanted advances at you that he thinks are warranted thanks to your kindness.

You want to pick a fight with the burly man whose house is on your walk to work because he's been shouting cruel things at his dog nearly every morning for the past several weeks? Oh of course, just let Alastor prepare to use his most unsettling smile while he reaches for the leather sheathed knife he keeps attached to his belt so he can wordlessly threaten the oaf without you ever even realizing.

And so, knowing all of that and having lived such a love-filled few years at your side, how could Alastor ever have believed he might one day see you again once he came to in Hell shortly after his demise?

The short answer was, he couldn't.

And though he would never have been willing to admit such a thing aloud, it utterly shattered a portion of his heart to know he would never see your sweet smile or hear your perfect laugh ever again.

And to imagine what your reaction may have been once the police had informed you of all that he had done?

Well, he tried his best not to.

Because while he couldn't bring himself to regret those he had killed and the things he had done, he did regret having been left with no choice but to keep such a thing from you and leave you with such a mess upon his death.

Certainly you had deserved better, that much he knew.

But there was absolutely nothing he could do about that now.

Or, at least, that's what he had led himself to believe.

Until one day, he'd been broken out of his typical morning routine of brewing his black coffee and digging into a freshly caught deer by the sound of knocking at his door.

There were very few people who knew of where Alastor lived at this point, with him being multiple years removed from life and having firmly cemented himself within society as a powerful and merciless overlord, so honestly it hadn't come as very much of a surprise when he opened the door and found an old friend waiting rather impatiently on the other side.

Mimzy.

Having arrived in Hell not very long after the radio host, the former flapper, (who he had actually met through you), had become a familiar face throughout the past few years as he'd tried to grow accustomed to life without his darling wife at his side.

It was nice, in a way, to have that reminder of you near when he wished for it to be, and so he allowed the sinner to call him something like a friend and offered her protection when it was convenient enough for him that it didn't prove to be a hassle.

Although, today of all days the overlord was certainly a little less than pleased to see Mimzy's familiar face at his doorstep, and he was reasonably certain that she knew why that was.

It was your former anniversary after all, and today would have been your tenth year of marriage had he only lived long enough to reach such a landmark achievement with you.

A smile, strained and thin, descended upon his lips, and, in spite of his feelings, Alastor remained as cordial as ever, albeit rather cold with his words.

"Mimzy, my dear! How wonderful to see you! Whatever could possibly be so important as to have you at my door on a day like today?"

There was a certain level of threat to his tone that no doubt left the woman standing before him floundering for a few seconds, before finally, she mustered up her reply, her smile ever so slightly less confident than before.

"Alastor, just the fella that I was lookin' for!"

The sinner began, placing her right hand upon her hip as she inspected the condition of the nails on her left,

"Now I know ya like to be left alone and all on days like this, but I've got a surprise for ya back at my place that I promise you're gonna wanna see a-s-a-p."

She said with her typical air of confidence, immediately causing the Radio Demon to roll his eyes in response, his facade of interest slipping ever so slightly before he seemed to catch himself once more, ever the gentleman.

"Oh do you now? Well, as utterly transfixed as I am over this little mystery of yours, I'm afraid that I just don't have the time to stop by today. Lot's of things to prepare for the upcoming broad-"

"Alastor."

Mimzy said sternly, cutting the overlord in question off rather uncharacteristically with a glare of her own.

"I know damn well that you don't got nothin' planned for the day, so don't you start fibbin', mista, I can see right through ya!"

She began, quickly changing the subject when she seemed to recall exactly who she was talking to at the increasing sound of static.

"Look, I didn't come here to argue with ya or nothin', so you do whatever it is that you wanna do. I just wanted to come over and warn ya that if you don't come by for a visit by the end of the day you're gonna feel like a real fool, okay?"

She emphasized her warning with a dramatized raise of her brow before she grinned rather wickedly and stepped down off of his doorstep, wiggling her fingers in a teasing little wave as she climbed into the back of the very same taxi she must have used to get to his dwellings in the first place.

"I'll see ya around dollface!"

She called out as the car pulled away, leaving Alastor with quite a few more questions than he'd had upon her already unplanned arrival.

What a fantastic start to one's day.

By the time that Alastor made the decision to actually stop by Mimzy's lounge, it was already dark outside, the subtle chirping of crickets reminding him briefly of home as he walked toward his destination, ever a fan of the more simplistic methods of transportation.

He thought of the sounds of crickets and all of the moments with you that their seemingly endless chirps had backed until their sounds faded away with the increasing sounds of the busier section of the city, wherein Mimzy's place was located.

Just as sleazy and sketchy as it had been above, so it was below, and Alastor felt a sudden sense of longing and familiarity as he stepped inside, the smell of cigarettes and the sound of ever so slightly out of tune jazz music reminding him of his days of swing dancing with you on the cracked dance floor of the place Mimzy had owned and operated in life.

The Radio Demon had only just begun to contemplate what you might have thought of a place like this one when suddenly, he heard a familiar voice call out his name, and he turned to find the lounge's owner walking quickly toward him, a wide grin that nearly rivaled his own splitting her cheeks.

"Well would you look who it is, Alastor the Radio Demon here in my lil' lounge, what a lucky lady I must be!"

Mimzy teased as she shouted over the obnoxiously loud music, immediately forcing the man in question to hold back another instinctual roll of his eyes.

"Oh, nonsense, I should think that luck has very little to do with it, my dear."

Alastor drawled, dragging his gaze downward to find his friend standing there, all but vibrating upon her feet, clearly excited by something, though he couldn't quite fathom what in Hell it could possibly be.

That is, until he heard another familiar voice pipe up from somewhere behind him, this one far less anticipated than the last, and by a rather significant margin at that.

"Mimzy?"

It called, an edge of stress to it that had the corners of the overlord's smile twitching downward ever so slightly for the briefest of moments.

Alastor watched as the ex flapper standing before him grinned widely in response to his barely noticeable reaction, her eyes shining as she allowed the person speaking to continue with their question.

"Who did you say the whiskey on the rocks was for?"

The lounge's owner hopped up onto a stool beside where she had been standing, gesturing to the space at the bar near where Alastor was still firmly planted, the ears atop his head twitching ever so slightly as they took in the sound of a voice he'd never thought he'd hear again for the very first time since he'd awoken with them camouflaged within his hair.

"Right here, doll. Speakin' of which, why dontcha c'mere and meet one of my regulars, huh?"

She asked as casually as she could manage, gesturing slightly for the still reeling sinner standing beside the bar to take a seat, which, to her surprise, he actually did, eyes seeking out the source of the voice he was hearing as if in utter disbelief.

And then, much to his shock, there you were.

Sure, you looked different as a sinner, but he would recognize you anywhere, and it certainly helped that your beautiful smile was the very same as he remembered it to be whenever he closed his eyes and found you there waiting for him.

Busy with what was likely a fairly large number of orders that your fellow bartender seemed to be doing very little to try and keep up with, you didn't seem to notice him at first, walking quickly toward your old friend with a glass of whiskey in hand, moving to place it down in front of the ever so prominent Radio Demon absentmindedly when suddenly, you froze, your hand still wrapped around the chilled cup.

The two of you stared at one another for several long moments, eyes widened and breaths halting entirely, until finally Mimzy spoke up from Alastor's right, her laughter obnoxious beside his ear, though he could scarcely bring himself to care with his gaze locked so heavily onto yours.

"Happy anniversary, ya lovebirds! Didn't expect that, didja?!"

She all but cackled, causing you to break eye contact with your husband to gawk at your friend.

"Wait a second, you knew he was here the whole time and didn't tell me?!"

You cried, hand flying to your mouth as Alastor began to regard the woman sitting beside him with a hugely threatening glare, the frightfulness of which was only increased by his unyielding grin, which was beginning to appear more and more malicious by the second.

"Woah woah woah, hold your horses!"

Mimzy shouted, waving her hands all about as if in surrender as she looked back and forth between the two of you nervously,

"She only just got down here this mornin' I swear!"

She explained hurriedly to the overlord beside her, causing the man's eye to twitch with effort as he struggled not to tear his old friend limb from limb while her entire bar watched on in horror.

Alastor tapped one clawed finger against the bar in front of him, his sharpened teeth appearing even more threatening than usual at his apparent anger over the situation at hand.

"And you didn't think, my dear,"

He began, his voice low,

"That I may have wanted to know sooner?"

The sound of static overtook the lounge as the sinner's anger increased with each word he said, causing everyone, including those hired to play the live music, to flee out the front door, leaving the trio to their own devices within the confines of the now empty space.

This fact worked extremely well for Alastor, who was only growing more enraged with each passing second as he considered the implication of Mimzy's actions further.

Not only had this woman, someone who had dared call him a friend for so many years, betrayed him by keeping your presence unknown, but she had also clearly employed you at her poor excuse for a lounge, and was now acting as if she had done him a favor by allowing him to be in the presence of the very woman he'd married.

The urge to rip the sinner to shreds with his very own claws was immense, and perhaps he even would have done so had it not been for a gentle hand coming to rest upon his forearm, the weight of it felt even through his shirt and coat.

Immediately, he stiffened, the familiarity of the touch so jarring that his previous thoughts of murder ceased within an instant as he turned his head to face you properly.

There, illuminated by the dim and yellowed lights of the bar, stood his wife, a woman who he had never expected to see again after all that he had done.

What good deed must he have committed in life to deserve such a blessing as this?

Surely there was some kind of mistake and someone would be descending from the heavens to collect you soon, an angel sent to Hell on accident by way of some great failure on Saint Peter's fault.

Your husband stared at you for a few moments, as if afraid you might disappear if he so much as blinked, before finally, you spoke up, your lips curving into a slightly nervous smile.

"Let her explain?"

You asked gently, taking up the very same tone you used to when asking your beloved to make an exception to one of his many strict internalized rules for your benefit.

'Stay home with me?'

'Give him a chance?'

'A slightly less violent solution, perhaps?'

(the latter of which he'd heard more often than he was willing to admit).

And this time, as always, he caved almost immediately, giving a rather stern nod of his head before looking toward Mimzy with an obviously strained smile on his lips.

She didn't have long, that was for sure.

If she wanted to explain, she'd better do so quickly.

And that much must have been clear, because the ex flapper started talking just about as fast as she could manage while still remaining intelligible.

And what a tale she spun, indeed.

With hurried words and a remarkably nervous expression the likes of which neither you nor your husband had ever seen Mimzy wear before, the sinner apologized profusely for not telling either of you sooner, promising that she had only been trying to make it a surprise in celebration of your anniversary.

Apparently, she had vastly overestimated how persuasive she could be, and had assumed (rather incorrectly) that Alastor would be much more urgent in his arrival to her lounge after she'd paid him a visit, meaning she hadn't exactly intended to have kept the two waiting so long for the "grand reveal" of her surprise.

And, slowly but surely, as Mimzy explained her thought process, your confusion and your husband's apparent anger all but melted away, both reactions coming to be replaced with something located somewhere between amusement and exasperation.

How very like your friend it was to meddle in such a manner, after all.

You'd missed this.

(Alastor wished dearly that he could say the same, but having been stuck alone with it for several years, he couldn't quite relate.)

Still, even he had to admit that Mimzy's actions were something far more similar to misguided kindness than intentional ill will.

Though, there was still one issue that was still bothering him...

"Mimzy."

Alastor interrupted the sinner in the middle of her ramble, watching as she immediately shut her mouth and looked up at him, a familiar bout of nervous laughter falling from her lips as she wrung her hands together.

Seeing that she was paying attention, the overlord continued,

"I understand what you were going for with your..." He trailed off for a moment before hearing you pipe up from where you stood on the other side of the bar,

"Efforts."

How amusing, it seemed that even after years of separation, not even death could sever the almost supernatural ability you had to understand what your husband was trying to say before even he truly did.

Alastor nodded,

"Exactly. But that being said, I struggle to understand one thing."

He leaned toward his old friend slightly, watching her eyes widen as he did so, clearly unsure of what was going to happen next.

"Why, pray tell, my dear, is my wife spending her precious time working at your lounge if you had every intention of returning her to me?"

The possessive tone to his voice made you blush, eyes moving to the ground as you awaited Mimzy's response.

She was quick to answer.

"Great question, dollface!"

She laughed nervously,

"I uh, I guess I kinda figured she'd know if she was down here then you would be too, so I wanted to give her a little bit of a distraction... and maybe get some extra help for a few hours in the meantime."

She admitted quietly, though by the time she was finished speaking, Alastor wasn't paying her much mind anymore, his mind now occupied with what he considered to be a far more pressing issue.

Because now that Mimzy mentioned it...

"Dearest,"

He began, immediately catching your attention as he turned to face you fully, allowing you to take in the sight of him and his new "look" for the first time since your arrival.

You would be lying if you said you weren't a fan, as different as it may have been.

"Speaking of 'down here',"

Alastor continued, amusement dancing within his eyes,

"What exactly are you doing in a place like Hell?"

Your gaze moved downward once more at that, and you cleared your throat awkwardly as you tried to find anything else to focus on.

Eventually though, you gave up, and forced yourself to meet your husband's gaze once more.

"I uh, I killed a parent..."

You muttered under your breath, immediately causing Alastor's eyes to widen slightly in surprise, one of his ears twitching slightly atop his head.

"Pardon?"

He asked in utter disbelief, unable to even begin to comprehend what he was hearing.

You, his beautiful and darling wife, had killed a parent of one of the children you taught?

Utterly unbelievable, perish the thought.

You sighed, crossing your arms in a mix of embarrassment and frustration,

"I killed a parent, Al. Lucy and Arnold's father. He was beating on them and their mama something fierce, and I saw the opportunity to put a stop to it one night when walking over to the station after work... He went down the alley between the grocers and the tailor to take a shortcut home or something like that, and I just followed him before I even knew what was really going on..."

You sounded hesitant as you spoke, eyes downcast once more until without a word, your husband pressed his gloved index finger to your chin, raising your gaze to his own once more so you could see the utter awe present there.

He was positively enamored.

"You killed Harry Wells?"

He asked, shock still coloring his tone as he watched you for your reaction.

Slowly, after a few seconds of contemplation, you nodded, cheeks still pink as you did your best to keep from trying to avoid Alastor's heavy gaze.

"I uh, yeah. I did."

The overlord sitting across from you chuckled softly, a sound that slowly grew in volume and exuberance until he was laughing outright, the familiar sound music to your ears even as he sighed and wiped a tear from his eye afterward, something he had done often in life.

He grinned even wider at you than before, the pride in his eyes obvious as he shook his head as if still in disbelief.

"And to think,"

He began, reaching across the counter to grab both of your hands so he could pull you closer, your forearms resting against the bar countertop.

"I hadn't thought it possible to love you any more than I already did."

You laughed at that, pressing your forehead against your husband's with a sigh,

"Well in that case, I suppose it's a good thing that I have all of eternity to prove you wrong, huh?"

Alastor chuckled softly, humming as he took in the sight of you, as if trying to commit each individual detail to memory.

"A good thing, indeed, dear heart."

[saintkaylaa]

𝐍𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫 🚬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐀𝐤𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐲𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐗 𝐍𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐛𝐨𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐋𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡: 2.9𝐤

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖, 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐯!𝐀𝐤𝐢, 𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭, 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐯𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐟!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: Kinktober 2024 || I love Aki so much, but something about pervy Aki but against his will really does something to me. Happy Kinktober you disgusting pervs ᥫ᭡ Also big big thanks to my beta readers, I love you! ART by yuonnoaii on X

𝐈 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬

Aki was a devil hunter, but when it came to you, he fought both devils and demons just to not touch himself to the image of you.

You, his new neighbor, from across his balcony in the building over. Aki, who had not been with a woman in God knows how long. Overworked, burnt out, anti-social, with extreme suppressed sexual desires.

That was until he saw you.

If he was honest, he had completely forgotten that sex was even a thing—in all forms. Sex with another person, self-gratification, porn, lust, urges, desires—all of it. In his line of work there wasn’t any time for that, and in Aki’s case the only desire he really had was revenge, but that was a desire that he knew was going to take time to satiate.

The encounters that he’s had with you got increasingly more difficult for him with every passing instance.

At first it was just fleeting glances—no stares—at you in the beginning. You weren’t like anything he had ever seen before. Beautiful, captivating, and intriguing, so just looking at you, trying to catch a glimpse at you while you lingered and occupied your balcony across from his eventually should have been his first signal to have built a stronger disposition against you.

Then you talked to him, albeit a little insulting, mean, and even, well, intimidating, because the first instance was when you had straight up called him a pervert. Confronting him for his blatant staring and or borderline offensive, not so sneaky glances at you while he dragged through cigarettes, distracted by you. Blowing through cartons faster than he would have liked, because of you.

And he felt disgusted.

Grossed out that although yes, he found you mean, intimidating, and believed you had every right to call him a pervert, and irritated by his actions, he also found you incredibly sexy for it. Curious over what really lied under that confident mean exterior.

Every instance after that was the same. You two would find each other on your respective balconies, playing with the tension that was undoubtedly there. Bad tension. Negative tension, but tension nonetheless. Aki would get caught admiring you (ogling you from your perspective), you’d call him out, and he’d have to retreat into his apartment fighting all that hell had to offer just to not to stroke his cock to you.

Admittedly, it did get better when you would tease him for looking and make fun of him for even peeking at you from behind his bangs and a pink tint on his cheeks. You were ruthless, and it only made his desire for you grow.

Fuck. Then he talked back, and in your response, he knew that he was fucked for sure.

He had been in the shared mailing room of both your buildings. Sifting slowly through his mail in a poor attempt to avoid going back up to his apartment and finding you lounging around in skimpy pajamas in your living room—as he noted that you tended to do a lot in the mornings. But then you were there. As if manifesting from his mind and rounding the corner to enter the mailroom with him.

At that point he had half a mind to ask you if you were a devil, because no way were you now crushing an attempt he made to not be so perverted against you. It wasn’t fair, and he feared you for it.

It was avoidance at first. He didn’t know what to say to you, but then you spoke to him again, and it was like he lost total control of himself.

“See you later, pervert.” You had told him. It was teasing, but not at all lighthearted.

It was then that Aki decided to do something.

 

Nearly missing you by an inch, he took hold of your elbow and spun you back to face him. You gasped, arms tensing slightly as you look up at him with surprise. But he wanted to make sure he had you at full attention.

“Hold on,” he says lowly, his chest rumbling.

"Look, I don’t want you to think I’m a pervert, okay? I apologize if I’ve made you feel that way. You’re very pretty, is all.” He struggles to compliment, but his gaze doesn’t break away.

“I don’t mean harm.” He finishes, and he truly means that. His hand lingers on your elbow as he locks his dark blue eyes with yours.

You seem to hold your breath as you register his words, then you glance down at his hand still grasping you and slowly trail your eyes back up to his. Realizing his touch, he slowly unfurls his fingers and releases you.

Both of their skins are cold from the loss of heat.

“You must not know a lot of pretty girls.” You finally say, voice tight.

“None that look like you.” Aki replies right over your comment. What compelled him to say that he was unsure. He was never that forward, bold, or even confident, and especially not with women, but something about you made him act out.

“What’s your name?” You ask, your eyes transfixed on him.

Aki held your gaze, his expression unreadable as he sensed the intensity between you. Your question broke the thick silence that had settled, and he felt himself hesitating for only a brief moment before responding.

"Aki Hayakawa," he replied, his voice firm and steady, a hint of curiosity coloring his words, "And you?"

“Aki.” You repeat his name slowly, sounding out each syllable.

He knows you did that on fucking purpose. Now wondering what it would sound like if you moaned his name.

After another frustrating pause, Aki speaks, “So is your name something I have to earn or what?” He says flatly. Meeting your eyes with just a bit of intimidating irritation.

Your mouth parts slightly like you have something to say, but then your tongue glides over your perfect white teeth in one slow swipe. Amused, you were fucking with him again.

Aki cursed you in his head. The sudden disgusting thought of how your mouth would look wrapped around his cock. Your tongue gliding over his needy tip instead of your teeth.

“I’ll see you later, Aki.” You tease, but your voice is soft. Different than the other times you have teased him.

 

That night Aki was chilling in his living room when he heard the faintest sound of a sliding door open and close. He knew it must’ve been coming from outside... His neighbor, most likely out on her own balcony.

The sound was like a command to him now.

He stood up from his seat on the couch and walked towards his own sliding door. When he got close enough, he opened the door to look out, his eyebrow rising at the sight of you once more across the other building. His heart racing just a bit, his skin running warm, and he could feel the telltale sign of an impending erection as you turned to look at him. Like a dog responding to stimuli; Pavlovian.

Now he was moving without control, crossing out into his balcony, hands buried in his pajama pants. His eyes fixated on your form. Watching your every move. Your eyes met his, and suddenly Aki’s mouth opened to speak.

"Hey," He greeted you simply, his voice low as his eyes looked you up and down with this newfound (misplaced) confidence. You looked over at him, not at all surprised by his presence. You nodded towards him.

You’ve got to be kidding me, Aki thought to himself as he looked over at what you were wearing. A fucking short fitted satin slip, that left no room for imagination. Aki's eyes widened as he took in the sight of you, his breath hitching in his throat.

The slip clung to your every curve, showcasing your body in a way that rendered him mute. He was captivated, unable to tear his gaze away from the provocative sight before him.

He had expected to have a casual conversation. Especially after the conversation from earlier, but the combination of your clothes—or lack thereof—and the charged atmosphere between sparked something primal within him that he struggled to suppress. His hands tightened around the fabric of his pajama pants pockets, his body responding instinctively.

He was fucking perverted.

Aki cleared his throat, trying to regain his composure and speak in a controlled tone, despite his body now pulsing.

"What are you doing out so late?” He asked, taking a step closer to the railing so that you could better hear him from your own balcony. You tilted your head a little confused. Crossing your arms over your chest, your tits being pushed up a little as you did it.

Aki cursed you in his head.

“What am I doing on my own balcony?” You quizzed from across the building.

Aki's gaze flickered down to your crossed arms, his eyes involuntarily drawn to the way your breasts were lifted and accentuated by the position. He suppressed a groan, feeling his desire flaring up. Your innocent question only served to increase the tension between you and him, heightening the forbidden allure of the situation. He clenched his fists, forcing his mind to focus on your words rather than the erotic image in front of him.

"Yes, what brings you out here this late?" he replied, his voice strained as he fought to maintain control. He couldn't allow himself to be consumed by lust, not when he had done so well by not giving in to his desires before. But with your tempting presence, it felt like a constant battle against his own morality.

“Aki, you’re asking a lot of stupid questions. I live here. I can do whatever I want in my own apartment on my own balcony. I could stand naked out here if I wanted.” You laughed, the faintest tone of annoyance. However, you knew what your words would do to him. Now that you were acutely aware of how you made him feel after earlier’s display.

The mental image of your naked body forced Aki to shut his eyes for a moment and let out the smallest groan. He knew you couldn’t hear, but he also knew that you knew what you were saying. What you were doing. Vexing him the way that you did. The lust was beginning to consume him.

It was a losing battle. He was fucking losing.

Aki's eyes snapped open, the intensity in his gaze now almost feral as he stared at you across the distance. He hated you for playing with his desires so effortlessly, for knowing exactly how to push his buttons.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, but the ache in his crotch only grew more insistent. The walls he had erected to protect his focus, his sanity, and his character were crumbling under the weight of his lust.

“Every word you speak is deliberate.” He declared, like he was accusing you. His eyes trailed up your body in a moment of weakness.

“Yeah, it is.” You assured quickly.

Then there was palpable silence.

Aki's mind was a whirlwind of desires and frustrations, his body seemingly betraying him at every turn. He watched you move to your door then, each subtle action a temptation that he couldn't ignore. His gaze lingered on you as you turned your back to him, exposing your ass to him. The throbbing in his pants intensified, his body craving release. He can only imagine the wet spot of pre in his underwear.

“You make it too easy.” You laughed; your voice, filled with taunting amusement, cut through his haze of desire, reminding him of his vulnerability and the hold you actually had over him.

If Aki was smart, he’d listen to his rational side, urging him to regain control and to retreat to the safety of his own apartment. But the magnetic pull he felt towards you rooted him to his spot.

“Don’t burst a blood vessel touching yourself tonight.” You mocked so boldly and bluntly it sent Aki reeling. But before Aki could even think of responding, you had already retreated back into your apartment. Aki stood there, stunned, face flushed with both embarrassment and frustration. How could you see right through him, exposing him so easily and without mercy.

Fuck.

He didn't have time to process your leave, as he felt himself unraveling. His body pulsed with need, his erection straining against the confines of his pants. God damn, it hurt.

With a frustrated growl, Aki turned abruptly and retreated into his own apartment, shutting the sliding door with a resounding thud. He paced back and forth in his living room, grappling with the overwhelming surge of desire that threatened to consume him. He knew he had to find release, to quiet the burning ache that clawed at him. But his thoughts were clouded, his focus scattered under the weight of it all. He needed to regain control and find his center once again. But in that moment, desire won out.

He had suppressed his urges too many times in the last few weeks for anything to work this time. He just kept getting harder the more he thought of you, so he stopped pacing and just stood in the middle of his living room looking down at his crotch. Groaning for it to go away. Flashes of his neighbor’s body, your tits, your ass, your mouth, your pretty face, the way you rolled your tongue, the way you said his fucking name. It was all too much, and Aki had half a mind to start touching himself.

It was over.

Aki hurriedly moved to the bathroom in his room, turning on the cold water with the intent of splashing his face. Instead, he braced himself on the sink, letting the water run, the cold ceramic helping alleviate his rising temperature but it wasn’t enough. He closed his eyes to breathe, only to prove a mistake. Because all that played in his head, over and over again, was your interaction this morning, and without even realizing it, Aki started to unbuckle his pants.

Your words played in Aki's mind over and over, along with your face and body in his head repeatedly. The way you looked at him—the way you had been teasing him—fucking with him—it was just too much.

He let out a little groan as his pants began to loosen, his brain barely registering the movement as his eyes closed and he fell into this trance. Aki’s hand slid into his pants to grab hold of his angry, needy cock. The touch instantly gave him relief. He breathed out shakily, his hand moving against himself a couple times to the thought of you in that satin slip. The way it hugged all your curves, the way it pressed up against your tits...

How would they look getting fucked by him?

“Fuuuuck…” He breathed out.

He couldn't help but moan softly, pleasure pinpricking across his skin as his hand moved faster and firmer. His mind filled with vivid images of you, and every stroke of his hand brought him closer to release. He could almost feel your presence, as if you were there with him, encouraging him to let go of his inhibitions and give in to his carnal desires.

God, what would you say if you knew what he was doing to the thought of you.

He imagined what it would be like to plunge his cock into your mouth, letting your tongue run along the underside of his cock and down his balls; hot and wet saliva coating his length.

What it would sound like if he fucked that mean, intimidating act out of you. Imagining how pretty your pussy must be—as pretty as you were? And how pretty that pussy would look clenching around him.

And then he replayed the way you had said his name. Trying to envision all the ways he would try to get you to scream, moan, and cry his name.

“F-Fuck Aki! Give it to me! Please more! Aki!”

Aki’s breathing grew heavier, his movements becoming more urgent as he neared the edge. His body responded with an intensity he had never experienced before.

 

And then he imagined your face.

 

With a final moan and a few more sloppy strokes, he came. His body shuddering, knees nearly buckling, as one of the hardest orgasms he’s had in so long consumed him. Ropes of hot, thick, white cum splurged out into the sink and swirled down the drain with the running water.

As he stood there, panting and spent, Aki couldn't help but feel a mixture of relief and shame. He had succumbed to his desires; let them consume him in the most perverted way possible. This wasn’t him. It was nasty and disrespectful... But deep down, he knew that the battle wasn't over. The allure of his neighbor still lingered, as did the pent-up lust that threatened to consume him later—again.

After cleaning up and taking a cold shower, Aki lay in bed annoyed and angry, to say the least. Still disgusted with himself, but also disappointed. Not only for giving in to his lustful temptation, but ultimately for letting you have this power over him. Worse was the fact that he touched himself to the thought of you, and he didn’t even know your fucking name.

 

 

If only he knew that just across his balcony, in the building over... you were still knuckles deep to the thought of him.

ꫂ ၴႅၴ𝐑𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝

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