#more like im more of a T guy
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had a college interview at a nice little coffee shop and they put cinnamon dust on top of my iced chai latte 🥰 the alum interviewing me got a matcha instead of a coffee and therefore earned my instant respect. ive literally a barista for like a year and a half but im just more of a tea guy than a coffee guy ngl
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Been thinking about how Bill legitimately had a horrifying reason (the literal progressive disintegration of the nightmare realm that erases whatever it disintegrates from existence completely) to move himself and his crew into a new dimension. Like that's terrifying. And yet he never utilizes this to his favour. He could have been honest about this with Ford, and you KNOW as long as Bill didn't mention plans of overtaking the earth, Ford would've made the portal for him, both out of Ford's own interest and because Ford when faced with these big moral questions will pull through. But this is a card Bill NEVER plays because although he needs to leave the dimension, he cannot lose face. He can't put aside his pride and admit to the humility that he needs to flee from his dimension, that he's not actually all powerful. And so instead he pretends to be a muse and when Ford figures out something else is going on, instead of being open and humble and saying that his dimension is unravelling, Bill focuses on that he's going to over take earth, that he's actually been a monster all along, surprise Ford!
And part of it is definitely because Bill's built himself up on power and violence and to grovel and earnestly ask for help, to admit that he cannot stop the unraveling of his dimension completely invalidates that; showing vulnerability? Can't do that, even under the guise of lying to get his way. And part of it makes you wonder if it's also a form of self-sabotage, because underneath his deep denial Bill is guilty over what he occurred; he sees himself as a monster and so he'll be that monster, and having people recognize that feels good in the same way that pressing a bruise feels good. But it makes you wonder what would've happened if Bill even just was open about his dimension unravelling and had lied about overtaking the earth.
It's also interesting because although Bill has SOME charisma and can manipulate people decently well (as evidenced by his cult, and pandering to people's desires with Ford, Mabel and Blendin), he refuses to be vulnerable, refuses to not be true to his off-putting self, even when if he was just vulnerable of pretended to not be himself, to put aside the (false) pride he has in himself he would've gotten a portal by now. and part of me wonders if it's because it's this false pride that built on insecurity and denial on who he is he cannot drop that mask.
Further thoughts on this!
#hugin rambles#hugin rambles gf#uhhhh yeah anyways Bills a delightfully complex character#and I think thats why also Bill fell hard for Ford is because Ford was vulnerable with Bill and actually CARED for Bill and got to peer#into the vulnerable bits of Bill and cared for him#but yeah fascinating. rotating him in my head whooo#bill cipher#billford#the book of bill#TBOB#gravity falls#but seriously the idea of Bill becoming honest with Ford instead of being like HAHA I TRICKED YOU bounces around the ol noodle with vigor#like dude thats a HUGELY typical self sabotage thing. like why YES im what people think i am.#hes interesting because hes good at manipulation. but also at the same time bad at it because he refuses to not be himself.#which... yanno i can respect. truth to being yourself even if thats offputting and annoying. but certainly makes it more difficult#re: manipulation. and then there was ford who was just. really into Bill in entirety#congrats! you guys match each others freak and toxic neediness to the t#gravity falls meta
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Someone get this man a younger sibling that ISNT like. Twice his height.
#one piece#op fanart#monkey d. luffy#shirahoshi#kozuki momonosuke#IVE FINISHED REREADING THROUGH WANO IM OBSESSED WITH MOMONOSUKE NOW#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I MISS HIM SO MUCH T - T!!!!#literally tears streaming down my face ‘But I think of you like a little brother!#You’ve heard of laser beam that make you read one piece#get ready for laser beam that makes you REREAD one piece#srsly. do it. I didn’t care about characters like bellamy or shirahoshi or even momonosuke all that much on my first read through#IM OBSESSED NOW. I LOVE HARUDJIN THE GIANT TOO AND I CANT WAIT TO SEE MORE OF HIM T - T!!! I ALSO DIDNT CARE ABOUT KATAKURI LIKE AT ALL#NOW I CANT GET ENOUGH#also what the actual heck guys. I know its only been a couple of months since wano ended.#but why aren’t there any fics centred on luffy and momo being brothers… There’s like one on ao3 and it’s in italian…#PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY SLEEPING SO HARD ON LUFFY BEING THE OLDER BROTHER/MENTOR TO BOTH MOMO AND SHIRAHOSHI#IM SO MAD#SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO ARE BOTH THE CHOSEN ONES ; - ;!!! AND LUFFY HAS BEEN PROHPESIZED TO HELP GUIDE THEM TO USE THEIR POWERS!!!#eg shirahoshi hearing the voices of the sea kings and momo hearing zunesha#both times luffy hasn’t been able to talk to them… but he’s been able to guide his younger siblings to use their powers properly#No im fr obsessed with luffy and shirahoshi and momo WHERE THE GOD DAMN FANFICTION AAAGFRGEHSHHSHSHS#LUFFY TREATING SHIRAHOSHI AND MOMO THE SAME WAY ACE TREATED HIM WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER T - T#KILL ME AAAAA1!!1!1!1!!1!1!1#99 percent of all tags on my posts are just me freaking out LMAOOOO
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mirages beverages
#:—3#ultrakill#ultrakill mirage#robots#arts#its really hard for me to do anything lately im glad i sketched a few things today that definitely keeps me a bit more sane#i like posting my things here hiii guys :))) !#oh and i looove putting mirage in silly t shirts
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....I just wanted to draw gators :T at this point these 2 are more 'a representation of my last 2 brain cells' then they are actual characters 😅
#im living vicariously through the cartoon guys#because i want to A. pick up gator (strong man style)#and B. ..pick up gator (hug)#ok but so i recently found out an area where i take stupid little walks for my stupid little mental health#has! GATORS!! (potentially. theres signs.)#and this is great cause seeing gators would def heal me as a person#but ok so when i look for hiking places i always look north cause the terrains more hilly#but now im lookin south more cause turns out i AM in fact far enough south to see gators!!#and yeah looks like theres a handful of nature reserves w hiking trails the same distance away as the little mountain trails i go to#its flatter and the trails are less extensive so ill hafta see if i think its worth it#but then too theres a really big black water swamp that.. further away then i wanna drive..#but also i drove 5 hrs once just to go to mammoth cave as a day trip so.. we'll see..#my friend says he wont go w me tho :T he'll just report me missing#this has been a tag ramble about my sudden outset intrest in seeing a gator#my bullshit#lol barely but still#also- i told myself not to over do it drawin the scales or coloring it#and as you can see i dont listen to myself ever#lol they look outta place but idc i got to draw 2 of my favorite characters and also ALLIGATORS :U#living the dream rn
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ill probably delete this in a minute but ive just been fuckin boggled by what ive seen across tumblr in the last few days in particular. its why i havent really been around. like holy fucking shit, its really like some of yall just dont want a chunk of the trans community to exist. like some of yall are thisclose to saying it verbatum. way too many already have. 'shut up sit down be quiet and smile for us' type shit, gee where have i heard that before. oh yeah my entire life cause i was forcefully gendered as someones daughter. shock horror i know. you might be surprised to remember and/or learn that very few trans folks know theyre trans before we're 5, or even 10, and that that gendered experience stays with all of us in both/either small or large ways. either bc we literally dont have a solid identity yet (bc we're very small children), dont have the words, we're repressing it out of fear from how others will treat us, we're actually enjoying or enjoyed being another gender in our childhood, or we just genuinely didnt fuckin know until shit lined up later in life. weird isnt it that transmascs dont pop out as 6'1 brick shithouse cis men when we're born so yall know for certain that we're confused lost girls/women oops i mean big dangerous scary men. its almost like we're transgender too. none of yall actually know what intersectionality is or means
#my t#transandrophobia#yeah ill tag it why tf not#i just dont understand why transmasculinity is scrutinized and dissected like this within the trans community#when its just not the case for other gendered trans folks amongst themselves more often than not these days#which is a good thing! a really really good thing! but why are we scapegoating transmascs#''we need more weird trans people!!'' yall cant even handle like. a pre-everything trans guy coming out for the first time#yall cant handle a pre-everything tguy wearing a tshirt without tearing him to shreds & calling him shit like afag/theyfab & ukelele boy#im tired of my identity being treated as a debate. i had enough of that in highschool as#very literally. **the only trans kid in my grade** surrounded by cis teachers & peers USING ME AND MY BODY AS A TALKING POINT#i was the only one who wasnt deeply closeted that is. and holy fuck do i still not blame anyone for being closeted in that school#why is it only okay to try to separate trans ppl from our gender when we're not fem/me#why is one celebrated and the other treated like radioactive waste **within our own community**#god i need to find an irl community fuckin badly online trans circles are hell on earth#ill be describing smth that happened to me as a clocky tguy and someone else will say TO MY FACE#that what happened to me wasnt bc i was a clocky guy but purely bc i was trans#like i. what. how. how does that make any kind of fucking sense#i wouldnt be clocky if i wasnt trying to look like my gender. like i. hello?#would u say that to any other trans person or am i just that special?
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Listen to the Audio Next Chapter
Read The Story Index | First Chapter
Welcome to Chapter 1 of the TAoLaW "dramatic" reading. What can I say, the theatre kid in me needed to record this in audio format. Have I mentioned how much I love this fic? Yes? Well I'm saying it again, I LOVE THE ART OF LOVE AND WAR!!! If you haven't read it please go read it.
The Art of Love and War Is written by @fireflywritesgt and the audio reading is recorded and posted with permision.
#OK IM ACTUALLY DOING THIS#I’ve been wanting to record dramatic readings of GT fics for a LOOOOOONG time now#but have been admittedly self conscious of my voice#but I finally bit the bullet#I did it#I recorded this chapter while I had the house to myself#Personally I still hear flaws in the audio which I assume were from getting too close to the mic#none of my edits were able to fix it so I guess I have to live with it now#if and when I have time I might re-record this chapter to fix this later#I recorded chapter 2 in the same sitting so that audio will be ready sooner rather than later#personally I think it sounds better#Hope you guys enjoy this#it was really fun to do and I’d like to do more in the future#g/t#giant/tiny#gt#giant tiny#borrowers#g/t fluff#Mighty Records#the art of love and war#taolaw#taolaw audio drama
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i truly have no tolerance for this fandom shittin on random fans personal trans headcanons. someone saw themselves and their experience in this character, isnt that beautiful? why dont you mind your business and focus on your own fan stuff? wouldnt that make you happier? someones headcanon doesnt negate yours. what the fuck is wrong with yall. its playing make believe x2. its just a headcanon. real life trans folks are in active danger right now and some of yall are wasting all your energy abusing others over which pronoun set figments of someone elses imagination 'should' be using
#our t#this is *any* trans hc it doesnt matter the flavour of the trans headcanon. i dont have time for that shit i have real problems#if i see one more fight over jegbert or dave on this site i s2g#if june happens on screen like if we SEE june happen on screen then that will be canon. even for a single panel she will be canon#but genderbend aus have existed since the dawn of fuckin time and an au isnt gonna suddenly blast june's canon transness outta existence#like what are yall TALKING about.#and im saying 'if' w/ a heavy fuckin sigh bc while the hsbc team has stated that they have plans no one knows#when or where or how thats gonna happen. i want it to happen & i have my own hopes for how it will but we'll just have to see#but this aint abt rep yall just want justification to punch e/o in the face & call it 'fighting against ur intercommunity oppressors'#or whatever cause none of yall are brave enough to get organized#and actually try to make changes in ur communities.....headcanons will never be actual representation#as for dave. yall know that transmascs and cis boys also struggle with masculinity right? esp hegemonic pressures and ideals?#thats kinda what LE is about? thats why so many trans guys see themselves in the striders. thats why i think theyre supposed to be cis#but thats ALSO why so many transfemme folks see themselves in dave. and that should be rlly beautiful!!! we're not so different!!!#its almost like that power structure harms everyone in different ways bc of how we treat e/o inside of the structure!!!!!#i cant TELL you how many of my cis guy friends have cptsd from just not being allowed to express sadness or joy in an acceptable way#and davepeta being nonbinary only adds to this!!! davepetas existence in contrast to dave DIRECTLY MIRRORS roxy in meat/candy#but yall are never gonna be fuckin ready for that so what the fuck ever i guess#i just feel constantly forced outside of this fandom or scorned as a Bad Tranny bc im very literally in the middle of this shit#and i dont believe one style of presentation is inherently better or morally righteous than the other. like what are yall expecting#are yall expecting to be let into tranny heaven bc u wear a skirt and say 'haha yeah all instances of mascness is grossss' be for real#just rlly highlights the fact that no one in this fandom wants to care abt intersex trans ppl or hear them talk or try to#contribute to gender analysis. its not girlboss enough i guess. sorry for not drinking the radfem rhetoric thats embedded itself#into this site i suppose. hope the fandom gets better but idk i dont think thats gonna happen anytime soon#stop treating femininity as smth inherently Morally Good its all 'divine feminine moon phase' bullshit slightly repackaged#to include transfemme folks. which none of yall should want. its a direct pushback to actual feminism but ok all mascs evil bc LE i guess#im not missing the fact that this fandom cracks down hard on queer mascness & tries to 1:1 equate that hegemonic cismasculinity either#yall aint slick at all. sorry im just. fucking tired. feeling like i dont exist & my words dont matter
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The ed greed ling dynamic has me in a chokehold and tbh I'm not complaining they are everything
#IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN EXPLORED MORE IN CANON 😭 😭 😭 😭#like not even from a “i want to see more of them” angle but like to legitimately flesh it out#bc like. weve seen them all interact only a handful of times wdym greed does what he does in the finale for these two#we dont know how much they mean to each other (the answer is a lot but we dont see how they get there T^T)#anyway im writing fanfic fleshing it out bc i can and i think its turning into a 5+1 thing#but lifes coming back so i may be significantly derailed#but no they are literally my favourites ever i think they are all platonic soulmates and its healing at least two of them#(ling seemed to have his shit mostly together tbh. now hes just a goofy guy with the weight of xing off his shoulders for now)#edward elric#ling yao#greed the avaricious#greedling#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#moss' madness
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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nobody fucking touch me rn i went to see tf one in the cinema and im shaking. they actually made a good transformers movie. what the fuck
#time to go home and read the entirety of jro's mtmte and lost light again ig#what the FUCK i was not expecting it to be actually fucking stunning. that's MY loser dumpster fire of a children's toy franchise how did t#ey actually make it . good#really good#five out of five stars. when elita said “you dont have the touch or the power” i fucking choked#obviously it is only going to mire the canon more because of the changes to megatron's backstory (no gladiators 😔) & lack of allspark plot#but i dont even fucking care. dont even touch me rn i cant ever get over this#broken friendships & corruption arcs are THE SHIT and they did this one better than i was expecting#when pax fell like a falling star... primus itself opened to him...#ratchet cameo! arcee cameo! jazz cameo! not to mention ALPHA TRION#i can see the war in this . i can see this . millions of years in the future they will still b fighting. orion mightve been a “pacifist” by#megatron's standards but he knows how to fight. he fights more than he should. and bee.... bee... THATS MY FUCKING NAMESAKE GUYS DONT EVEN#TOUCH ME RN. IM SHAKING. HOLY SHIT#bumblebee you are SUCH a dork. what the FUCK.#and the quintessons!!!!! i am LIVING for the art direction and the organic/inorganic imagery#those quintesson energon-hoover things reminded me of energon eaters too. & in that first shot of them entering the cave w the primes i#originally thought scraplets before i came back to myself. there's something to be said here tho.#they did a good job with the worldbuilding. suitably alien-like. exceeded expectations. that ginormous quintesson ship? i'm going insane#you can SEE the birth of the myth in this stupid fucking movie you can SEE how op becomes who he becomes. the way he grew. the way they bot#grew until they were the only person that could hold the other back . the way he is going to be irreversibly changed. d16's eyes...#that scene w starscream has a chokehold on me. i cant breathe. the way they all looked at megatron when his blaster emerged#the fight scenes#ELITA ONE !!!#AIRACHNID !!!!#honest to god though i must confess that the first coherent thought i had about this movie was “oh they made him so cunty” . abt pax. i#am so sorry#but okay okay okay i . they were amica endura at the beginning. at the least. i'm. AKHRERJGH#tf one#me when megatron ascended out of iacon & he was the only land vehicle amid a swarm of planes. me when the SYMBOLISM#���
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In a couple hours Arcane S2 comes out……………………….
#Guys#I’ve been waiting since 2021#And now that it’s here…….#YAYAYAGAGAHAHAHJ#SCREAMING AND CRYING AND THROWING UP#IM GOING TO SOB MY EYES OUT#WE GET MORE EKKO#VI IS EMO#And Cait…….#Don’t get me S T A R T E D on Cait#Like it’s finally HERE#Me and one of my beat friends are going on a call to watch it#SoOoOOOOo this blog will NOT be spoiler free 😙👍🏾#Warning everyone in advance#AND A COUPLE DAYS AGO I FORCED MY FRIEND TO WATCH TRANSFOMERS ONE#I LEGIT DRAGGED HER BACK INTO HER TRANSFORMERS OBSESSION EEHEHHHWJSJS#Me and her are legit Bee and Dee 🩶💛#Arcane
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just a little nerd for my dgs followers who saw me get obsessed with otacon in the way i never did for harebrayne....
....also bunny undercut
#albert harebrayne#the art of a lemon wedge#im so sorry#harebrayne is very cute and silly and i loved him in game#but u must understand despite them both being nerds#harebrayne will never be as pathetic and wet as otacon#and i wouldnt want him to be#cause then he wouldnt be him#he has so much more dignity than that#anyways#drawing his hair was really hard#and im gonna be honest#for a moment it felt like i was drawing that grape guy from bnh....#:T
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Me, rereading my own silly g/t selfship comfort stuff: *bangs fists on table* I'm so normal! I'm SO normal! I'm so NORMALLLLL!! *Gnaws on hand* *throws chair*
#HE.#BIG.#NEED.#oh to be held and comforted and cherished-#to be looked at like ur the most precious little thing in existence?!?!?! by someone u love who loves you more than you could ever know?#who is dozens of times bigger and stronger#theyre so big that the smallest things they do are more than noticeable and everything is so intense but in a good way#g/t#you trust them with your life and they gently hold and they marvel at how tiny and cute you are#*runs through the house squealing*#im normal guys i swear!#i want to write a part 2 :)))
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I LOVE YOU TESTOSTERONE I LOVE YOU BODY HAIR I LOVE YOU WEIGHT GAIN I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
#percy posts stuff#transgender moment#finally noticing significant changes !!#<<especially in terms of body hair. so so excited#pls got let me become a bear. ideal gender#whats that one post thats like. hrt weight gain is an angel. or smth like that#bc yeah..#its also like. even before i started it i was trying to gain weight rlly hard & it doesnt show for me naturally that much and now that im on#t it shows a lot more and its like. seeing the results of hard work#literally happier than i have ever been.#also today one of my friends whos a cis guy was like damn ur voice is deeper than mine now#and his voice is pretty high pitched but its still noticeably masc so. aghghough#anyway. theres hair on my legs now and its the best thing thats ever happened to me#peace and love on planet earth#trans joy#hrt#ftm
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#these guys are the ones who masc-ed me so…#i was an effeminate ass tboi before my bnt phase in 2020 but they made me realize what manhood (and masculinity) could look like for ME#im much more butch now lol although i didn’t listen to van halen that often anymore#autoandrophilia#force masc#forced masculinization#forcemasc#ftm hypno#bill and ted#T SHOT FRIDAY BTW
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