#more like HOW MUCH of a red flag is it?? 🥴🥴🥴

[zevrans-remade]

😬

[discluded]

My Top 10 memorable 2022 MileApo moments 💚💛

In no particular order,

Mile defending Apo and telling him he's not weird. Mile Phakphum #1 apocolleague #1 Apo defender #1 Apo protector 😖

2. Whatever they put in the water that day at the XBlush shoot 🥴

3. The Moon Represents My Heart at KPWT Taipei (curse you one video per post Tumblr limit). The audible gasp and excitement from the audience when they realized what song it was!!!

4. MileApo at the Vogue Thailand Gala. Everything about them and how beautiful they were... Mile had just gotten out of COVID isolation #2 and now they had a Vogue spread and were mingling with the movers and shakers of the Thai ent industry. Also specifically these boyfriend soft launch selfies 😖

5. Paper Mile at the KPWT send off. This one was bittersweet and making the best of a bad situation... Apo was doing his best to have Mile be included but even Apo was not his usual sparkly self. The appearance of paper Mile per the request of quarantined Mile really put the smile back on his face.

6. Sharing dessert and water in the Red Sea Film Festival IGL

7. Apo taking this sexy photo of Mile in Phuket and immediately being exposed as the photographer. Thank you @ apovision for God's work and thank you @/may for exposing them.

8. Mile replying to this tweet. Yeah it's a tweet. Yeah he interacts with many fan tweets. But trust me, this is the one that made all of us deranged. It's the reason why I'm deranged now. I think about this all the time.

9. Mile and Apo kissing live at KPWT Bangkok. I'm just going to make peace with the fact that we're likely never gonna see another live kiss at a KPWT show again. But we got this one.

10. Holding up the pride flag together at KPWT Taipei. Wasn't Taipei beautiful!?! 😭 It was a beautiful moment for the entire cast and the audience, since it was Pride Week in Taipei 🌈

Bonus: 11. Meeting all of you 🥰💕 Yeah I'm sappy as heck, what are you gonna do about it.

If you've ever sent me an anon or liked or reblogged one of my posts or followed me or stalk my blog but don't have a Tumblr or written fic or drawn fanart or written meta or made gifs or made edits or trended for MileApo, thank you for making fandom a fun place. If you've learned anything new about yourself or the world or changed your perspective in life because of anything I reblogged, I'm glad something I said or did affected you 🥰

We often talk about about when being in fandom is annoying, but really, it's a community. If you've stayed, thanks for embracing respecting each other and loving KinnPorsche and loving Mile and Apo and the people in their lives (which includes all of us!)

Maybe the real MileApo was the friends we made along the way 🥹🥹🥹 (Mile would agree because he is equally sappy like me).

Many other beautiful memories I wanted to include... but I loved these so much. It was hard picking favorites, but I'm gonna 😤

Bonus runners up:

Looking like a royal couple at their first fan meet

KPWT Seoul date (are you going to give us the video or not BOC...)

Apo lifting Mile in the KPWT Taipei behind the scenes video

Mile discretely rubbing Apo's waist underneath his suit jacket at the D7 event 🤭🤭🤭

KPWT Taipei goodbye (x2)

(alright no more for real or else I'm gonna be here all day)

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

what was your view of coney island when it was released and what is it now?

because with all the new information we have about that relationship I honestly think this song is kind of the mother of midnights. the reference to old relationships in the bridge and knowing that he wrote or contributed in some way today makes me think that that reflection on the song was about them

idk, for me there is a bridge between coney island -> most of the tracks of midnights -> dear reader -> hits different -> ttpd

makes sense to you? I thought about asking about this song when you were talking about cold in some other song that I don't remember which one it was, but it reminded me of “and it gets colder and colder when the sun goes down” 😂

OK so one thing to know about me is that despite the fact that I've been listening to Taylor casually since Debut, was a huge fan of 1989, and consider myself a pretty serious fan since at least Lover (as in that's when I started following her more online and not just for the music), I really didn't know much about the personal lore until after folklore 😂 I loved her music, but I wasn't the type to be like, "omg this song is about this person!! Or this event!!" when I'd listen to it. Obviously, some of them were obvious to me (e.g. LWYMMD, Paper Rings, Bad Blood, etc.) but what I'm saying is that I didn't dissect the muses or inspiration as much as I connected with the lyrics.

And the next thing to know about me is that even though evermore is my favourite album... Coney Island is not a song I think about a lot 😂 I know, that's going to send me to Swiftie jail. I don't dislike it! It's just not one of the ones I gravitate towards generally unless I'm listening to the album in full. So when evermore came out, I honestly just thought it was a complex story about a relationship breakdown that she wrote with the dudes from The National. 😂 Obviously I knew a lot of Taylor's music was personal, but I was also of the belief (and still am tbh) that while she may have taken emotions and situations she's experienced and put them into her songs, the actual details/circumstances aren't always factual. (Hence, folkmore. I clocked that before it was cool haha.)

So back to Coney Island. I would say that when it came out, I didn't think of it at all in terms of her personal relationship. I could certainly believe some personal feelings infused in it, because like I said that's what writers do. But it wasn't a song that, like, gave me pause. (As opposed to, say, False God, which immediately sent red flags up to me when Lover came out.) And tbh, I still don't know, precisely because it was written collaboratively. I think I see it sort of like The Alcott -- you can certainly see where her influence is, and can infer what inspired it, but I'm not sure how much of the story is hers and how much is Aaron/Bryce/Matt?/or Joe's writing. Looking at the credits, I don't know if Taylor wrote it all and the National dudes just got credit because of the music as is often the case when they get credit, or if they all wrote it collaboratively or what.

Reading the lyrics now, like really reading them, it's kind of a lot tbh lol. "And if this is the long haul, how'd we get here so soon?" is a lyric that has always stuck with me, like suddenly coming to an impasse you didn't even know was on the horizon. I'm actually like, processing this song for the first time I think, which is a little scary four years down the line lol. So thanks for that I guess? 🥴 j/k.

I guess it's hard for me to really deconstruct in this context just because I'm not entirely sure where it falls on the inspiration line. But I do think that it may be quite telling and I can see the pipeline to Midnights you mention. And, um, the quiet resentment. "The question pounds my head, 'What's a lifetime of achievement?' if I pushed you to the edge, but you were too polite to leave me," is ooooooooof. Like. Yeah. Because that's kind of the crux of a lot of Midnights, which culminates in TTPD. The golden age coming to a whimpering end before you know it, the distance, the miscommunication, the misunderstanding, the lack of consideration, but still the kernel of love underneath it all that makes it so hard to let go.

Thanks for this! It definitely gave me something to think about! What was your line of thinking on it?

[actuallycassidyiambusy]

I know u don't talk too much about ur original work on this blog, but I've seen the posts where u do and I am so intrigued.

Who is ur favorite OC to write in ur Helpless series? If u have one😊

I'll happily talk about it if asked! My favorite?

Blake Stahller. Easy.

Let me tell you, this man is 𝐓𝐎𝐗𝐈𝐂 toxic. A kiss you and stab you in the stomach at the same time kind of man. A make you suck on the barrel of his gun before he kills you brand of toxic.

A red flag with green hair.

My BPD and NPD king.

Brooklyn badass that will shove his fingers in your eyes if you look at him funny.

Black blooded demon with an extremely short fuse and drinking problem.

He makes his first appearance in book one. He comes off as rough, slick tongued and foul mouthed. Despite his rocky exterior, Blake is as loyal as they come. That is if you're lucky enough to earn his loyalty. He has a very dominant personality. He's extremely antagonistic.

A few small things about Blake is that he was raised by his hard headed, Italian mother. He knows Italian very well and sometimes lets it slip when he's pissed off or flustered. He's openly pansexual and makes a habit of flirting with others. It's like a sport to him. Nothing really sticks with him romance wise. No one can catch his eye long enough.

Except a spitfire blonde boy named Zeke who hits back. Blake just can't seem to shake the brat and it really pisses him off🤭 though he can't deny how much he craves the struggle and aggression that Zeke brings to the table. The only scar he has is the one given to him by Zeke with a broken bottle🥴

Blake is extremely explosive and his only outlets are violence and sex. More than often at the same time. Every other word that comes out of his mouth is a cuss word or insult. He's not easy to get along with and nobody has been able to tear down his walls, and let me tell you, there's some serious trauma behind those bricks. He's from Brooklyn, NY and is known as a vicious gang leader. He runs some of the biggest underground organizations all through the state and across the country. He's clever and he's terrifying.

Blake is also open about his intentions. He won't lie to you. If he wants to fuck you, he'll say so. If he wants to kill you, it was nice knowing you. If he wants you to work for him, you'll see a charismatic side that will lure you in. If he wants to fight, he'll throw the first and last punch.

He doesn't take disrespect or stupidity lightly. You might as well have spit on his boot if you cross him. He's cut off people's hands, scalped them, tortured and humiliated them, burned their eyes with a cigarette. His interrogation skills are impeccable.

You can't touch what's his. God help you if you steal from him or attack one of his men. There are only two things exempt from his rage. Kids and animals. He'll respect a woman if she respects him. Plain and simple. You can't tell him what to do or how to act because you're "not his fuckin' mother."

It's why he's my favorite to write. His character has so many possibilities. There are tons of layers to this character and each one is more interesting than the last. I can go down any road with him and just be like "that's Blake" he's that unpredictable and wild. He doesn't give a shit how big and bad an opponent is, he will always find a way to come out on top.

[ruminate88]

Peace and self care after toxic relationships 🙏🏻

If you have been in at least one or more toxic relationships like I was and you LIKED it, you yourself are a kind of toxic that you need to figure out and work on. 😝💀

The fact that I’m now in a peaceful environment and it’s sometimes boring, that’s a red flag to me… All I wanted was to have peace. When I was in my last relationship, yes, I liked him A LOT!! I thought he was handsome. I enjoyed flirting with him, but that was all we had. Everything else was a complete nightmare, and after we broke up, he put me through hell…… I just wanted to get out of the drama and I finally got away from him. Got married to someone else and then I am bored 🥴 What is wrong with me? 🤡🤪

no one knew my relationships were toxic. No one could explain it to me. No one could tell me the impact it would have on my life and health down the road…. No one could tell me how bored I would feel in my life even though my life is completely peaceful and quiet now. Some people are begging for this kind of peace and quietness that I have now and I’m trying to cherish it the best I know how ❤️‍🩹 going back to that toxic atmosphere is wrong and that’s not what I want for myself. That’s not what’s best for me! 🥺🙏🏻

If I can give any advice to anyone that is either IN a toxic relationship or trying to get OUT of it, you’re missing out on so much you have no idea what’s out there for you. There is a level of self-care and peace that you just don’t know it exist yet, but once you get a hold of it, you will never ever run back to that toxic ex 👏🏻👏🏻that toxic person could care less about you. 💔 You are just an easy target so they can dump all their trauma and stress on you. they are just using you trying to make themselves feel better because they also don’t have peace or self-care. 🥺🙏🏻 Show em a better way. They need you even if they’ll never admit it. But you can’t fix them. (I tried) you can’t love them hard enough. You didn’t even know what love was or you would’ve never stayed as long as you did with them. You wouldn’t have put up with the drama if you knew it was disrespectful. You often have rose colored glasses on, trying not to judge them (I for sure did sadly. I didn’t wanna accept my exes were cheaters and liars 😓) BUT they judge you every single day of the relationship. They constantly make assumptions of who you are but project their own selves onto you. I’ve been there 3 times!!!!!! I lived for toxic because I was toxic myself. I was consistently anxious and codependent. I wanted to find happiness in a man rather than myself and I wanted the attention they gave but I only found betrayal, lies, criticism and negative attention. Those men only cared about my nudes and wanted me to hate myself because they hated themselves too. (Let’s talk real)

Free yourself with this harsh truth. You put up with disrespect because you don’t respect yourself and you like toxic. You like being attached to chaos because it gets you high. To become a better person, it will require you to be alone with yourself in a quiet space to reflect on everything.(boring or lonely as it may be, it’s soo healthy) You can still care about people and not be full of yourself but do it from a safe distance!! Truly want the best for them and don’t wish them evil. Be happy for them and yourself. Heal from them but don’t hold the past over their head. (It’s easy to do, trust me. It’s easy to live bitter.)

This new healthy space I’m in is freakin weird and foreign but I’m low key getting high off of it ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 get high off yourself!!! Stop using others to light your fire. 🔥 (this is hard talk for me. This isn’t just for you. I’m reminding myself not to run back to the men holding up their guns that they were pointing at me.)

[anyathefandom]

My thoughts on Monday's episode:

Shallow note: Trina's dress is so cute! Honestly taby's Trina fashion is always on point.😌

Okay I got a feeling that Laura is definitely about to be on Ava's ass next because she is pissed about everyone getting their lick in on nik.🙈

Adam huss really be bringing it to every scene he's in. Mans is menacing and now I'm punching the air because we didn't get to have him as Nikolas for long.😭

Tj describing Spencer: Zero impulse control, good guy, Vulnerable, A well of deep intense feelings,and lonely. Me: Exactly! And it's so sad that not that many people see beyond his bravado but at least the people who really know Spencer sees that.🥰 Also when are we getting the tj x Spencer bromance? Like I would to see them hanging out whenever William can't film.👀

No because you can tell tj actually was really fond of kid Spencer with the way he talks about him. I really need to see them hang out.🥺 Also I can already tell we can add tj to team Sprina.😌

Okay but can we talk about how josslyn supposedly has know Spencer longer and even she can't describe Spencer the way tj has. Like please writers give up on that friendship altogether.🥴

It's wild how Laura is breathing down Spencer's neck about blackmailing Nikolas instead of breathing down Nik's neck about what Spencer has against him. Like yeah we see her ask Spencer what it is he has on Nik but it just seems like she wants to know just so she can tell Spencer not to take it to the police. Like ma'am are we for real right now?🙃

Laura: Drop what? My feelings for you and your father? Spencer: No, not for me but for my father I do think that he is a waste of your time: me:

Why are the writers setting Laura up like this?🙈 They got her mentioning how Spencer used to worship his father is a kid as if that is relevant as of right now. Like ma'am Nik as done some unforgivable shit since he's come back and knocking Esme up was the last straw for Spencer.🤷

Laura really making me wish she would go vacation again because sis making herself look so crazy by taking up for her dumbass son. Laura that man is grown give it up.😩

Like Laura needs to look into a mirror and realize she's giving Victor right now and that's red flag number 1.🚩 You never want to be giving Victor. Sometimes you just got to say "Fuck uniting the family" and that's okay.❤️

Trina: I mean I can text Spencer but it's really easy to lie in a text. If I see him I'll know. Me: And that's on soulmatism.🤷

I mean I don't have strong feelings on tolly but I can say that tj comparing Sprina's "Friendship" to the tolly partnership should be Trina's wake up call that they are more than friends.��

Tj: How long have you known Spencer? Trina: About a year and a half but it feels a lot longer because of everything that's happened. That soft smile when she spoke about knowing for a year and half makes me just go "Even though they've been through so much you can tell she doesn't regret knowing him🥹"

Oh Trina got a set of wheels. Thank goodness she can easily collect her stuff from Curtis's raggedy castle and leave when shit hits the fan.😌

Also I would love to see more Trina and tj scenes. I loved this talk so much because you can tell Trina was relieved someone in her family wasn't bashing Spencer and she didn't have to fight for that boy's honor😂.

I mean I definitely still don't want Spencer to get custody of that kid but laura is acting like first time parents are professionals when their not because they are FIRST TIME PARENTS.🙈 Like you don't need to have babysat a baby just to be a parent.

Laura trying to keep Spencer in this cycle of toxicity with his father is just taking me out still. Leave Spencer alone at this point.😬

So Nik what exactly is sonny supposed to be doing why you try and take Avery away?🥴

Spencer basically to Laura: Sorry grandmother but my father has maxed out his "The Good Cassadine" card and I'm not dealing with the bs anymore.🤷 You deal with that shit show if you want but I'm out.

Ava to Nikolas the minute he decided he wanted to try the right bitch:

[destinyc1020]

Thought this was funny from a gossip columnist--

Florence Pugh and Zach Braff started dating in 2019. They walked so that Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles could run…in that, well, Florence and Zach were basically the exact opposite of Zendaya and Tom Holland – as in, not the internet’s favourite couple. Although, looking back in comparison to what it was like when Olivia and Harry were together, the hate that fans had for Flo and Zach was like entry level, training days hostility for how badly Olivia was harassed. 

😬 😬

Oh wow....

I wasn't deep in her fandom back when Florence was dating Zach, so I had no idea their coupling was hated on so much rofl 😭 🤣🤣

Was it just because of the age gap difference? Or were fans picking up on OTHER red flags or personality traits that made them not like them together? 👀

I just always thought it was weird that she was dating a guy that much older than her (I'm a woman), but I was like, "oh well girl... do you!" Lol 😆.... It just couldn't be me.... 👀

But yea, Olivia and Harry.... whew chiiiile.... The RED FLAGS were major in that rlshp. 🥴

Who even thought they would last? I sure didn't. 👀

Too bad she threw away her marriage for some quick lust with a younger man smh. 🤦🏾‍♀️ She should have known that wouldn't last. 🙄

They were definitely the internet's most hated couple lol 😆

Funny how when Brad and Angelina basically did the exact same thing, I saw more ppl PRAISING their union than hating on them. 👀

Interesting double standard.... 🤔

Anyway lol, that's funny they added Tom and Zendaya in there lol. They are like the opposite of these other couples. They are the internet's Most BELOVED Couple 🥰❤

[mycptsdstory]

It's funny how people THINK they know me and say "she's being delusional. She didn't get abused by her family. She should get a diagnosis from being delusional" okay 🥴

I asked "why not come with me to get a diagnosis. I ain't hiding" she declined lol.

Tbh, this girl is sooooo toxic. Like, no one wanted to hang out with her. Her personality is bitching behind people's backs and being nice to their faces. RED FLAG btw.

Anyone who bitches to you about their friends. They are certainly bitching about you, to their friends.

Know your worth and know your value people. You deserve so much more than that.

[iwtvdramacd18]

i'm sorry but i wanted to whack armand for saying louis sometimes acts out. it felt infantalising but also as if armand is there for louis' emotional regulation.

yuck. hated it. I don't like talking much about what's going on in dubai tho because i start catastrophising 🥴

nah don't apologize because that was one of the hugest red flags in the season like I love the guy but I'm not gonna sit here and act like that was anything but awful at best and scary at worst.... like I've said before I think the Dubai situation is a lot more complicated than Armand lording over Louis every moment and I think it's more of a situation of dangerous cycles of co-morbidity wrt how the two of them deal with emotions and connections to others and guilt (maybe some parallel to Lestat's "you take my love I take your love we circle it around" type thing he told Louis before turning him?)

But like no matter Armand's intentions behind it like you said it's infantilizing and dismissive and is reinforcing very harmful ideas Louis has about himself (which likely Armand shares wrt himself as well). His love is a small box he keeps you in etc

[kisskissbanggang]

How did I not know that Prowl 6 was out? Boy do I have a lot of questions and thoughts 🤪

What would lia and jisung have even warned felix and chae about? I don't feel like what they said had anything to do with it the accident that happened. Felix was just hungry. I don't get it? Anyway i feel so bad for the young lovers, just picturing their bodies buried together in that clearing with yuna sobbing over her sister's grave is heartwrenching.

How did Lia survive minho mauling her but chae didn't Felix?

I also don’t get why the pack wants the journal? Like they know how to do it now and i didn't catch anything noteworthy from oc's reading of the journal.

Oc is kind of a bitch lmao like I don't get her motivations at all or half of the things she's mad about. And she cheated on Jay right in the middle of a crisis and then she fucked him while she knew chan could hear and THEN she fucked chan while jay was dying like hoe control yourself a bit 😭 the moment of her getting jealous of how close jisung and lia got was peak clownery I tell you

Idk if it's just me but I feel like she doesn't actually love jisung. I'm not buying her emotions.

The moment she couldn't find jisung and went looking for him then found him heaped up on the ground... i felt so sick 🥲 i imagined all my trauma patients and I just wanted to throw up thinking of jisung like that and idk that moment was just so visceral to me because I could picture it vividly

But anyway yesssss i want hot crazy vampire jisung now. I want him to call oc out on her bullshit finally and not be so passive and meek with her 😩👌

MORT I am ✨ASCENDING✨ seeing you in my inbox AND ABOUT PROWL OH I'M SQUEALING.

So replying in order:

Blaming Lia and Jisung: Both Reader and Yuna aren't being fair about this but Reader has way less ground to stand on. Yuna is bitter because Lia didn't interfere enough to begin with, and it's apparent to her that Jisung must be just as guilty. Reader is flat-out making excuses. Her number one concern is how she's incredibly aware how much she and Chan are needing each other. Surely, that can't be her fault, it obviously must be something she can't control and therefore Jisung and Lia knowing all about this meant that Felix and Chae should've been warned about all the possible consequences /s.

Lia vs Chae's Mauling: I didn't go into this because I never know how much gore/violence the audience can handle (and this chapter had a LOT already 🥴) but in my notes, Felix mainly went for the neck whereas Minho mainly went for the stomach. Felix took chunks out, Minho mostly clawed and bit but didn't quite eviscerate her. They each had very different levels of control with their wolves in the moment.

Why the Pack Wants Both Journals: This was unfortunately left 💀, but the section about the Full Moon was in Jisung's journal, the one Reader was looking through. I'm honestly considering a Final Edition when everything is finished because I leave out a LOT when I get wrapped up in different plot priorities; it's a huge shortcoming of mine as a writer tbh

OC is Kind Of a Bitch: YOU'RE RIGHT AND MORE PEOPLE NEED TO SAY IT. She's my favorite Reader because she's downright horrid at times. She's jealous, she's irrational, she's SO SELFISH and she's in denial about a ton of things. In order of biggest red flags:

🚩people who think Chan sucks

🚩🚩people who think Jisung sucks

🚩🚩🚩people who wholeheartedly support Reader

Reader has a LOT to work through in the final chapter.

Does Reader Even Actually Love Jisung: is a GREAT OBSERVATION. Especially when we bring in my irrelevant headcanon that Jisung has never been in a serious relationship before and Reader's last serious relationship was before she was even turned. They both have warped senses of love and are taking it out on each other but it is absolutely unbalanced.

The Car Accident: Mort, love, I'm so sorry if that was too much! Please let me know if you'd feel better if it got a revision to be more toned down. I had been chasing a goal of communicating the loss and desolation of the moment and may have overdone it. ❤️

I am SO greedy for your thoughts, all of them, and this gave me SUCH warm and happy butterflies to get this and respond ❤️❤️❤️

[kimnjss]

🥲 oof… that hurt. aside from yn rejecting him, i thought their interactions was cute nd funny! especially when that mf said he had a lil bit of mommy issues 😭 nd that he’s down for breastfeeding 💀 nd not yn turning down an offer from USHER!? girl is you crazy!? nd the lil hints nd sneak peeks abt yn’s life 🥺 i just wanna give her a hug, it sounds like he’s been thru a lot. nd hobi!!! my only nitpick 😤 was him asking too many questions when it came to dating, you were making my girl uncomfy! if she didn’t wanna answer, she didn’t have to. nd he should’ve accepted her vague answers instead of just asking why or for her to elaborate. he’s been keeping his eyes on her this whole time, could he not read her body language at that moment or sense how her vibe suddenly changed? 🥲 nd then when he tried asking for her number nd if he could see her outside of the club… my guy, she just got in trouble for being being over her time, you’re asking the wrong things rn 🫠 nd lowkey kinda interfering with her money (even tho hes secretly her sugar daddy but still) but aside from that, i really loved this! 🤧 literally had to reread it a couple of times bc i loved they way their convo flowed nd how we got to see different sides to them. like yn being the shy one nd hobi being confident. i love these two nd im rooting for them 🥺 but yn is all abt her bag nd sorry hobi, im on her side for the moment. money over men, that’s just how it be 🥴

you can see that he's getting a bit more comfortable around her ! nd that's making their conversations flow so much better - bc LOL yn was not going to be the one to initiate anything 💀 nd he's funny ! like he's actually managing to make her laugh nd their little interactions are so cute :((( he just had to go nd push it a little bit too far . nd LMAO she must've rejected ushers offer bc he wasn't paying as much as she makes at he club (bc that girl makes BANK 🤑) . it's actually pretty amazing that hobi was able to get her to open up a bit abt herself bc usually she jus listens while her clients talk - figuring they don't care to know abt her life nd tbh ., she doesn't care to tell them either . so the fact that she was sharing her own stories really sets him apart from all the other guys she's met . buuut ! he did end up sending himself right back to the beginning with those dating questions . like of all the attention he gives her ., you'd think he'd be able to pick up on her not really being cool with answering those type of questions . nd honestly - it has everything to do w the fact that she does what she does for work . like she's comfortable taking her clothes off nd (kinda) selling herself ., so he didn't even think a few dating questions (which were pretty tame) would be what she'd call a red flag . hopefully ! he'll be able to make a smooth recovery ., bc they are cute together :((( nd it's nice to see yn let her guard down even if it's just a little bit nd for now long at all 🥴

[judesbelligoal]

Girls I swear there is no weirder thing than a literal man that when you give him affection he tells you that you are so clingy and when you don't give him anything you tell him you are so cold like babe what's wrong with you sometimes my boyfriend tells me that it turns him on to see me angry and that sometimes he pisses me off a little because he knows how I'm going to make" a big deal "over a little thing and that's so cute but can you stop nagging me for once lol sometimes I want to kill him but then I know I'm going to go find him in his grave and making him come back to life 🥴

//

I really started talking to this guy a month ago and sometimes I get put off by the little red flags he has like one day he's in a good mood and the next day it seems like I've done something to him or that something is bothering him. Sometimes I wonder what happens to the guys in his head because they literally have more mood swings, imagine if they had their period they would be worse off than us? Sometimes I just want you to give me love and attention  not ask me if my cramps are hurting too much or be surprisedly moody omg

Sounds awful

[electronic-elevator]

engie rutting up into his soaked jumpsuit 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 whimpering and gasping for the cap and imagining its their hand, not his 😳😳😳😳 engie not knowing if he’ll cum or piss himself first 🥴🥴🥴🥴 he gets more and more secretive and having accidents on purpose in private, deliberately “””forgetting””” caps reminders so he can savour the caps attention on him and the pulse in his bladder going straight to his cock a little longer..... cap not knowing why he seems to be pulling away from them, worried, but engies just horny and trying to hide it (not well ofc) but when cap confronts him, so concerned and thinking they’ve upset him somehow, engie feels just so bad and has to admit to it..... cause the only thing worse than the cap knowing how gross he is would be the cap thinking he hates them..... and then maybe once they’ve both finally admitted their feelings and attraction, the cap can have mark squirming and grinding on their lap, trying not to leak onto his captain, but sooooo desperate..... 💖🥰💖🥰

🥴 ooo man Engineer purposefully evading Cap's earnest, helpful reminders b/c he's found he likes holding it?? OOOO

this got long af so

Engie feeling guilty about it, but oh god their release is just so much sweeter when they think about the burn of their cheeks when they have to admit to another accident, about the Captain's sympathetic face as they promise him it's okay... the first red flag is that all of a sudden Engie wants to clean themself up, and little does the Captain know they're getting off in their wet jumpsuit first >:3

orrr hurrying away "to use the bathroom," but after locking himself in his quarters or a private stall, unable to resist touching first -- stroking their cock while squirming in front of the toilet they could use at any time, and wetting as soon as they've cum; piss trickling down still-shaking legs as they stifle their moans with their only clean hand. having to report that he didn't make it -- which isn't a lie, but it's also not really the truth

it can't continue forever, though; for one, when Engie's head is actually clear he feels awful about it, but the Captain is so sad that he seems to be pulling away from them again that they're the one to bring it up first, and then Engie is HORRIFIED and just has to admit he's come to like the feeling but that he's so fucking sorry for basically using them like that. promising not to do it again, not to involve the Cap anymore even with his legitimate issues, but Cap interrupting like NO please let me keep doing this for you I WANT to do this for you. probably not outright admitting they'd guiltily pleasured themselves to the same idea in reverse but not denying that their interest in helping him with this may not exactly be platonic either

it's an AWKWARD encounter and Mark still avoids Cap for a few days. forcing themself to actually use the toilet when they need to go, as soon as they need to go, and changing themself with no fooling around if they don't make it. (they can't stop the direction their fantasies turn in the evenings, though...)

but... god, he misses the Captain, so it doesn't take too long before he's accepting invitations to lunch again; seeking them out to watch a movie or just to talk after work hours. and of course, if they're together, the Captain will cover for him so he can get to a toilet on time or go change; will offer to bring him dry clothes if he needs

(ok. an aside. picture Engie w/ his jumpsuit rolled to his waist, tied so the arms just mostly cover the evidence of having leaked for long enough for him to get back to his room. that sleeveless turtleneck meaning people are probably Not going to be looking at the wet patch anyway...)

...but maybe they've stopped reminding him to go, if only because they still feel awkward. And maybe one night Mark's infodumping about something, and the Captain notices he's dancing around in that tell-tale way, but... they don't say anything like they would've done just a couple weeks prior.

Something makes the Engineer catch up with himself, though. maybe he leaks; the sudden wet heat breaking his concentration and bringing him to a stammering halt. "H-hey I, um, need the bathroom; I'll be right back," he admits, blushing, but before he can make a run for it, the Captain can't help but stop him.

"No, don't go yet."

"C-captain?" Engie would stammer -- forced to bend over and hold themself just to keep from leaking again. The Captain hasn't ever delayed him from the bathroom before. But how many times has Mark fantasized about it? They're alone, but in a public area of the ship -- not exactly appropriate to just... wet himself in. Not that a logical thought like "appropriateness" was left in their head. Their cock was stirring, adding to their humiliation.

"Hold it," the Captain instructs, a little uncertainly. "I want you to. And... you like it, don't you?"

Engie nods, ashamed. "But I-I'm-- I'm not going to be able to. Not for long."

"I know," the Captain whispers, and Engie is somehow shocked to hear the lust in their voice. "But I want to see how you try. Tell me how it feels."

The Engineer swears under his breath. "Really bad. Er, I-- I need to go really bad. It feels... good. Fuck, Captain, I can't think straight; I don't know."

The Captain wanted to press him further but he yelps and adds, "Fuck, I leaked again-- Cap--"

The Captain can see the evidence, this time, even past the Engineer's clutched hands, and openly stares at the glistening patch of fabric running down Mark's thigh. "Does it feel better when you hold it to the very end?"

The shame runs hot through Mark's body as he shakes, trying so hard to regain control. "Yeah," Mark whines. He's never done this on purpose with someone else -- let alone the Captain -- right there. So close. And little leaks keep spurting out of him. "FUCK. I can't-- can't control it."

"Just keep trying; you're doing so well."

Mark is shocked by the effect the simple praise has on them -- their cock twitches and they whimper, and at the same time, they feel calmer -- no less frenzied, but safer. "T-thank you, Captain... Could you-- fuck, say that again? Please?"

"Say what?"

"That I'm good," Mark whimpers. All his squirming is getting him awfully close to that point where his need to cum rivals his need to piss.

"You're so good, Mark... holding so much in; I know that's hard for you... and letting me see you like this. So desperate; you're so pretty."

Mark whimpers again. The logical part of him, still banished to the deep recesses of his mind, knows they have GOT to talk about this -- about them -- at some point. But, oh, his Captain thinks he's pretty when he's about to make a mess of himself like this.

Really, he already has; he's soaked down to his knees from all the leaking.

"Captain," Mark pants. He's fighting to keep holding -- he'll do anything if his Captain asks him to -- but there's just no way to keep it up; his weak bladder gives out. "G-gonna-- oh f-fuck, I'm peeing--!"

The Captain's eyes widen; the hiss of Mark's pee and pattering of it soaking through his jumpsuit then onto the floor is surprisingly loud in the quiet room, and Mark's moan makes their own arousal twitch. "Fuck, Mark... holy shit." The Engineer's next sound is more distressed, and the Captain remembers to add a reassurance: "I-- just let it out, love; that's alright; that's perfect..."

And neither of them are too sure who moves first -- bridging the few inches left between them to finally kiss, wholly unconcerned with the state of Mark's clothes

[ruminate88]

Understanding Cognitive Dissonance 🤔

Basically it’s having “two different opinions” of something or someone. I can openly say I have multiple opinions of my ex, Andrew. The person he showed me especially when I first met him is NOT who he actually seems to be…

The first week of talking to Andrew, he was proposing to me daily. Was saying “I love you so much cutie” and I barely knew his name!!! I had been ghosted almost 6 months prior and I had been numb. Andrew made me “feel” for the first time. He made me feel “overwhelmed” and “crazy”. There was so much fog!!! Who was this young man proposing to me and was he serious?? 🧐

He told me his name and a little bit of his story but I wasn’t truly letting him in because I was protecting my heart. He told me his age and he was so much younger than me. Plus he kept sending me selfies with all his “cows” telling me he lives on a farm and I’m not an animal person so that was a lot for me too lol Eventually because I wasn’t letting him in, he then disappeared for almost 2 weeks!! I didn’t know what happened to him and oddly “I missed him” even though I barely knew him. Then he came back, apologized to me and said “he had bad luck” weird 😳 (I now get it. His bad luck was he couldn’t get control over me!! He had to disappear so I would miss him and be more open next time he came around.)

Andrew FaceTimed me and it was amazingly awkward!!! Soooooo awkward. He’s gorgeous though and his eyes were sparkling sooo beautiful wow!!!! We literally just gazed at each other and he says to me “oh you’re really cute” *heart melted* and I was like “oh so are you” BUT we didn’t like a lot of the same stuff and his face showed it… he made me feel intimidated by his charm and looks. He did NOT appear too shy only a little bit. After our FaceTime call though, he acts soooo shy like he’s a virgin and knows very little about sex. I taught him everything I know!!! (I only knew what he was telling me. I didn’t know him at all!!)

All summer long he was sooo flirty and sending me pics, questioning sex. He would text me “good morning, cutie 😘” almost everyday BUT he wasn’t opened at all to telling me much else about himself (red flag 🚩) I tried to ask him real questions and get to know him but he was pretty much only down to be sexual.

Then my birthday came and he was soooo sweet to me!! I didn’t think he knew when my birthday was but he messaged me saying he hopes I have a great day and saying how sweet and cute he thinks I am (confusing) but never asked me out!! School started back up and he was getting his first apartment. He seemed super busy and like he was blowing me off!! I was torn at what to do. A part of me said “get out now and protect your heart” BUT the other part was like “oh but I think I’m attached and I want to pursue him” After he moved all his stuff into his apartment, a day later he contacts me and says he wants me to come see his apartment 🥴😝😳 I was worried he only wanted to “hook up” and I expressed to him my feelings were real and I needed more than that!!! Andrew said he also wanted the same and we started a relationship but then he disappeared for a week right after that!!!!!!!! It shook me up so bad and made me realize something was very wrong with him. I tried to ignore my gut feelings because He came back to me at the end of the week and apologized and told me “he loves me with all his heart and soul” and that’s super intense!!

Our relationship never got its feet off the ground though till January. The start of 2015 he was super loving, sweet and affectionate. Andrew was being the “perfect boyfriend” I thought I died and went to heaven…. Wow he made me feel so amazing and happy!!! He texted me and snap chatted me all day everyday for weeks and would just treat me like I was his entire world. (It didn’t last)

By v-day I noticed a shift with him and he was cold and distant. Some days it got worse after that and randomly some days I was “babe” again and he would randomly be so affectionate and loving again. The “hot and cold” behavior was a lot for me!!! He was inconsistent with his personality. I never knew if he was going to spend time with me or say “he’s too busy”. I also noticed certain things I did or said would upset him and make him either ignore me or make him frustrated towards me. I walked on eggshells nervous because I only wanted “the affectionate Andrew” to stay 😔🥺🥺🥺❤️‍🩹

Then when I broke up with Andrew in April, it was soooooo confusing. He didn’t even act upset or act like it was a big deal and continued to treat me with “hot and cold” behavior. Some days he would be like “oh we’re broken up I’m moved on” then OTHER DAYS it was, “oh babe I’m sorry for everything you’re so sweet and I still want to talk dirty to you I’m too weak to stay away from you” BUT then started to really gaslight me and tried to distort my reality….

Him being back and forth, hot and cold, up and down, constantly made me confused to who he ever was or what he wanted!!! His words did not match his actions but I was sooo insanely attached to him so I felt it was too difficult to walk away from him. Instead I KEPT TEXTING HIM FIRST but he always responded and engaged with me and HE WOULD BE THE ONE to turn everything sexual.

Since blocking his number, I don’t know what to think of him always or what to believe. My eyes, my heart and my brain all tell me different stories!! What truly kept me away from him all this time is the fact I had crazy anxiety when I was with him and now I don’t have any!!! Coincidence?? I think not!! I couldn’t hardly breathe when I was with him. That’s how I know his atmosphere he brings is very toxic. I still find myself saying “I don’t hate him, I care about him” but I know he broke my heart so much and I feel it deep that he doesn’t care about me ever and would only want me to be in pain. But then I think “am I being too dramatic?????”

SEE??!!!!! My brain still to this day goes back and forth on what to believe and what to think of him. That’s another good reason to just stay away from him. He has to much “mystery” and that scares me!!

”Oh my God, oh my God This feeling's just begun I'm saying things I've never said Doing things I've never done

Oh my God, oh my God When I see you I should run But I'm frozen in motion And my head tells me to stop Tells me to stop

Feeling feelings I feel about us Try to fight it but it's never enough

My heart is certain It's more than a crush 'Cause I'm frozen in motion And my head tells me to stop” 🥺❤️‍🩹

The feelings with Andrew was frozen in motion!! He made me ice cold!! ❄️ I hated myself and the whole world after we broke up. I spent a summer so dark just hearing things and seeing shadows but I was so attached I wouldn’t stop texting him and telling him my feelings!!! I felt like I begged him “for the truth” but I was never going to get it!!!

[destinyc1020]

I almost got the impression with some Tomdaya fans/accounts that they didn’t really care too much about Z’s career or whereabouts unless it pertained to Tom///to me I felt the opposite. I remember unfollowing so many shippers because they took Z side and started to call T ever name. I was so freaking shocked at how they switched. I also think the ones who stopped following Z wasn’t because they stopped caring for her but because every content it was her with JE and they didn’t like seeing him.

Thanks for sharing your viewpoint Anon.

You're probably right.... maybe it was that they just didn't like seeing Z with JE lol. 🤷🏾‍♀️ That kinda makes me think most of those were not Z stans first.... Coz it seemed like Z stans defended her decision to date JE after Tom with such ferocity lol.

I personally didn't mind her with JE at FIRST (esp since Tom was already papped with Olivia), and I was actually glad that she was getting out and not sitting at home eating ice cream after a breakup. I like seeing women move on, even if it's just a rebound. It was when I started reading and even seeing with my own eyes the HUGE red flags about JE that I started not to like them together. 😔

I was like, "Girl, going from TREVOR to JE might have been okay I guess... but going from TOM to JE? Whew Chiiiiile that is Serious DOWNgrade!! Girl what is you doing?" 🥴 😂 I felt the same about Tom and Olivia too though lol. 😂 But hey, I figured they were both rebounding so I didn't really pay it too much mind until the NYC kiss.

All I know is that whatever happens btwn Tom and Z in the future, I'm still just going to support them no matter what, and wish the best for them, just like I did last time. 😩

I won't hate on their new SO's (unless they just seem God awful 😩), and I'll just trust that they know what was best for them. 🤷🏾‍♀️

TZ have already accomplished what I wanted them to accomplish anyway, which was dating each other as a confirmed couple under more NORMAL circumstances, instead of actively hiding all the time. 🥴

They've already accomplished that and then some, so anything else is really just icing on the cake for me lol 🥰

[opia-tarot]

Hello there!

What can be the worst synastry aspects according to u?

Have a good Day/Night!

Heyy!! I have so much to say about this ahahah. I’ll implement some of my experiences so you can get an idea😂.

Thank you! You too :))

disclaimer

Now I don’t wanna see any comments or messages saying you’re scared now or your relationship won’t work out, chill. This doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed, these are individual aspects, you can’t analyse synastry based on an individual aspect. If this post upsets you read this ->

https://opia-tarot.tumblr.com/post/678634732692635648/ill-just-put-out-a-little-disclaimer-this-is

trigger warning⚠️ substances, toxic relationships

the worst synastry aspects

part 1

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saturn square mercury

The worst synastry aspect i’ve ever dealt with is saturn square mercury. The communication is awful and inconsistent. Anything said to each other is misinterpreted. I would not be able to deal with this aspect again. 0/10😂 Honestly it gets so annoying to have to explain yourself over and over again. Forms of communicating are just so different and the mental clashes are overwhelming. Different thought processes and there’s no compromise. Never again. Also the amount of breaks in communication, like no contact to talking again. Ugh. Also this couple could use lack of communication to punish each other when they’re annoyed. nope. You come out of this relationship drained, low self esteem, compromised mental health and you feel like you’ve aged 20 years.

mars square neptune

The stalker aspect! No. Just no. We don’t need this aspect. There’s a clear power dynamic. Perhaps even imbalances. Fantasising vs ego boost. I could not deal with this again. Each of them play a role, fantasising about the other person, putting them on a pedestal and the other has a big ego boost and feels confident etc. So it’s clear who has the power in this relationship. They manipulate each other. They hurt each other emotionally. They sell each other a fantasy they could never fulfil. They idealise each other to the point where reality is non existent, hence why this can lead to stalking🥴

saturn square/opposite sun

This aspect is heavy and adds a very strained aspect to a relationship. This is a very draining aspect. Usually one of them is overly critical and picks at the other person. And the other person becomes more and more sensitive due to this. It’s a horrible situation of a person breaking the other person down. It can also make one of them take on a more parental role and feel like they have to baby their partner.

chiron square/opposite neptune

This aspect is so triggering and can bring trauma to the surface. It can make them both delusional. They’ll see a fantasy instead of a really damaged relationship and codependency. Red flags are ignored and concealed with rose coloured glasses. Instead of addressing problems they refer to escapism. They overindulge in each other to fix themselves.

nessus asteroid-mars

I won’t go in detail because it could trigger people. But just no. NOPE. Awful aspect. The most i’ll say is extreme arguments and fights.

nessus asteroid-north node

Again horrible aspect. A situation where one person meets another person just to cause them pain.

neptune square mercury

This aspect is a bit more mild I guess, but difficult. The neptunian person feels like their beliefs or ideas are undermined by their partner. Substances and delusions. They can’t quite figure out where they stand. They have a screwed view of each other. Detached vs clingy. Empty promises. Communication is odd. Something off about how they see each other.

pluto square sun

They psychoanalyse each other, and come to their own conclusions. PARANOIA. Unwarranted animosity. Love and hate. Crazy bond. They have a very fated connection, but it’s not usually healthy. Usually some sort of taboo circumstances. Controlling obsession. Ego battles. Deep rooted grudges.

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