#more context than needed for funny image

[larvabyte]

pov you visit club galactic

context: my bf adores giacomo so we have a crack au about all the teams being nightclubs that giacomo visits to guest dj. club galactic has industrial atmosphere with heavy use of lights. it's very popualr with young, queer club kids. cyrus is the owner and dj of club galactic. saturn, jupiter, and mars are his biggest fans who always dance at the front and bring their dj water bottles and towels for after the show.

no context for the gummy vitamins.

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 3 - Random Screenshot Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[imtotallyokandnormal]

I can’t imagine how confusing wanting to be hurt for sexual reasons would be for John after everything XD it would have to be very slow, but once he got the hang of it and after many reassurances, they would have a blast.

Ohhh my god ok ok listen I'll explain everything as I write it but...let's just say he will not like it at first-

Reader: gn reader (no genitals described)

Warnings: nsfw, masochism, John gets very worried but ends up very horny, John can be interpreted as dominant or submissive (I believe in Switch Doe Supremacy)

Image link: how are y'all? Tell me about your day

》☆John Doe x Masochist You!☆《

- Sex with John usually is pretty vanilla, because John doesn't know exactly how humans prefer sex and also because he's afraid of giving into his desires and hurting you in the process. So you could imagine they were extremely confused and surprised to say the least when they found out that's actually what you wanted!

- Whether you asked him to do something pretty kinky or even just something small like giving you a hickey, their reaction would be the same; completely stopping and just staring at you with the widest "what the fuck??" eyes possible.

- "...my dear- I thought humans didn't- like to be hurt-??? Why would you want me to hurt you???-"

- On their shirt (yes in this scenario the shirt stays on because I think it's funny) it's just a bunch of ???

- Even if you tried to explain it to them they'd still be extremely confused. I hope you don't mind the mood being ruined by him asking a bunch of questions because honestly he'd be too confused and worried to continue until they entirely understand.

- John would be trying to just process the fact that even after everything he's done to accidentally hurt and even kill you, you still want them to hurt you? But in a different way? Honestly they really wouldn't get it and would be apologizing for not being able to understand.

- You'd have to start out slow for him to get warmed up to it, like just gentle bites on the shoulder or something along those lines. John would tell you to tell him if it hurts too much, they still don't want it to go too far. Honestly they'd be really nervous about it, arms around your waist as he gently does as you ask.

- Your reactions are what get them to start liking it. If you moan or whimper, maybe move against them a bit, that's when their world opens up. Seeing you enjoy him giving in to his less than gentle nature, even if it's a little bit at a time...oh, it'd start to drive him wild.

- The more you beg him to keep going, the more you urge them on to do more things, to go harder, the quicker John starts to feel the adrenaline rush. You liked this- you liked their form of love, the form he tried taming to protect you. In this context, you even loved it. And you wanted more- oh, he'll fucking give you more.

- They'll start getting rough as you continue, maniacally giggling to themselves as they start to do everything they've been holding back to protect you. He'd get a little drunk on it honestly, seeing you enjoy it so much. It makes them want to see the full extent of your pleasure. They want to see you at your climax, begging or even demanding for him to please, please never stop.

- You'll be completely covered in marks by the time you both are through with each other. Of course John still exercised restraint, and if you asked them to stop they wouldn't even hesitate, but seeing the aftermath of his love decorating your skin, even if it's slight...good lord, it makes him absolutely smitten.

- Oh by the way John gives the fucking BEST aftercare this side of The Uncanny Valley, they are absolutely giving you everything you need. Snacks, a bath, anything you requested would be there in seconds flat. Anything to show you the love you want and need. But it really does make them happy seeing you enjoy a form of love he's more familiar with giving.

[solidaritygaming-fanblog]

right. So I'm kinda insane and found another song to talk about in some life series / evo context: Copycat. (Song will be linked at the end of the post!)

So, many people headcanon Jimmy and Grian being brothers- and it makes a lot of sense. They're both dirty brown haired, have dark brown eyes, are British, bird coded, have warring personalities, and actually are associated both with yellow, and then one other primary color- Grian taking red, and Jimmy taking blue. Even their main colorations show a kind of "parallel difference" between them, with recently, Grian being associated with red and purple, and Jimmy with blue and yellow.

Now. Recently Jimmy did some lore of him praying to the Watchers. And back in Evo, Grian was taken into the Watchers ranks- so there is some repeated or rhyming elements in their arcs. However, I raise you this- Jimmy is Grian's "replacement", or basically, a backup for if he defects from the Watchers. That's why he has such a deference to them- its hard coded into him. That's why he's acknowledged them so much recently, because Grian's slowly leaving, and they're beginning to get Jimmy to replace him.

For a long time, those two have had a sibling dyanmic- Grian, the older, stronger, and smarter brother, and Jimmy, the younger, weaker, stupider sibling. Grian basically torments Jimmy for his own amusement, and the Watchers let it happen- if Grian ever defected, they could simply feed Jimmy praise -you're better than Grian ever could have been, hes weak and you're incredibly strong, of course we will listen to you- and he would instantly be completely loyal to them.

The song has a few choice lyrics I'd like to point out:

"We get along just fine!" "I say everything you like to hear..." "It's funny how much I feel like I'm looking in a mirror!"

Say "Hello! What's up with you?" "I'm starting to talk like you do..."

"We've grown apart this time, I can't figure out the reason why." "It's funny how much I'd kinda like to see you cry."

"I've become what you like! I am what you wanted, right? Sacrificed all that I know, I have taught myself to let go!"

In any case, the main motif of the song is losing your identity- and that's exactly what's happening to Jimmy, memories of servers being scrubbed as the Watchers prepare him to take over Grian's position. The whole chorus is Jimmy giving in to the Watchers, and thinking about Grian in anger- he pushed him too far, yes, of course- the perfect way to get back at him, to team up with the eldritch gods Grian hates. Grian said he should be stronger- well now look at him! He's one of the strongest beings alive! He is now what his brother wanted him to be, perfectly made in his image.

Oh, and in case you need further convincing, look at how Grian's wings are usually portrayed. Scarlet macaw- red, blue, and yellow. Now look at Jimmy's wings- nearly always yellow, but in Wild Life, he's become a parrot. His wings are blue and yellow now. I bet he sometimes sees little red feathers and rips them out, desperate to distance himself from Grian- unfortunately, his brother.

Meanwhile, Grian doesn't know what's up with his little brother, and is desperately trying to get him back, to prevent him from making the same bad decisions he did- maybe even losing some of his Watcher powers as Jimmy's power begins to eclipse his own.

Link+ a lil more below the cut. This post is too long already. Whoops

Okay I can perfectly see in the "Copy that copy cat!" bit in the chorus, different sprites show up with every beat. The first four are of Grian (followed by a short animation of him saying the line) hitting poses, with maybe each sprite having a little refrence to a different season or series they have been in together. And then it swaps to Jimmy, facing towards him, hitting the same poses, with matching refrences. However by the end of the song, Jimmy takes charge, doing the poses first and surrounded by eyes- and Grian, trying (and failing) to match the poses and control the eyes, confused why he's lost his power.

Give my boy Jimmy the power. Grian has tormented him far too long.

[bluginkgo]

Ep 8 Thoughts and Details Part 2

Some thoughts and details I had while watching ep8, and some parallels I found. And yes, I had to split this into 2 parts because Tumblr said "fack you, you can only upload 30 images :P"

Spoilers, duh

Didn't see part 1? Here it is, cause Tumblr doesn't like more than 30 images per post TwT

OMG YOU SILLY GOOBERS, AND THE WAY UZI INCLUDED V DESPITE V NOT EVEN WANTING TO BE PART OF IT TwT

As much as this entire scene was tense about Uzi eating the AS and becoming fused with it- this frame, this facking frame killed me XD Just the D: WHAT ARE YOU DOING- WHY DID YOU DO THAT- I could hear it clearly XD

Could probably be me looking too far into it, but another call back from Liam's first teaser of Murder Drones.

As many people as I have seen being upset with how this reunion turned out to be, I found it adorable and funny. Khan has no idea what that thing even is. And the fact that Nori isn't as cool and serious as she was made out to be in all of the flashback scenes and ep7 is that much more endearing. The angsty side of her is still there, much like Uzi's personality of not really liking close heart to heart moments.

KHAN IS NARUTO RUNNING???? XD

Originally pointed out by @/observer on twitter and absolute scoliosis lives on XD As well as the T-rex stance <:3

God forbid I love this trio. They've been through so much and still came out victorious after fighting a whole ass eldritch being capable of eating planets. V still V but softer and kinder, N still N but more willing to stand up for himself, and Uzi still Uzi and angsty rebellious teen that has an awesome new eye style and friends and family.

"Forget about all of this instantly, get tunnel visioned on spooky corpse robot reveal. Work backwards from there."

You know, I had a silly thought. I wouldn't even be mad that this is how Murder Drones came to be. That Liam's idea of Murder Drones started with the reveal of Cynessa entity and then worked backwards from there- creating the characters to surround the event instead of starting with say Uzi's personality, etc.

VIZZY MY BELOVED WHAT-

You know what... you know WHAT I SAW THIS SOMEWHERE-

Proceeds to connect the dots that aren't even there (Murder Drones Intermission by @/ghoulinfuschia)

But hey, that's what my brain loves to do. But funny how it turned out to be somewhat similar XD Perhaps the context was different but the fact that my brain said "hm, yes, you connect this here and that there." and I just rolled with it TwT

Overall, I genuinely loved the entire episode and, of course, the series. I'm eternally grateful for Liam creating this masterpiece and for every person that took part in creating Murder Drones. This show was the hyperfixation I needed, the thing that I've craved since being in the fandom that I had been for the longest time prior. I'm sad to see this show end so soon, but all great things must come to an end. And I'm glad I was here to see it, even if I was here since ep6 only TwT Either way, I will be haunting this fandom with my presence for a little longer while. Many projects I want to see happen, comics I wish to share, and friends I wish to meet. Until then, see you later >:P

Have a cookie for making it this far XD 🍪

[blasphemecel]

Shidou Ryuusei — Taming Demons

PAIRING: Shidou Ryuusei/Reader WORD COUNT: 7.6k TYPE: Humor, Roommates, Romantic frenemies WARNING(S): Threats of violence, canon-typical football derangement, there's a cockroach (and it's not shidou 😰)

It’s on a decent day that Sae meets you and Shidou. The weather is mild without any clouds to obscure the sky, the wind is nothing more than a pleasant breeze, birds are chirping, and most importantly there are no ugly and irrelevant middle-aged men from the JFA to bother him with their whining or otherwise offend his senses.

Too bad he’s on the way to some secret deprivation tank in Ego Jinpachi’s football-themed basement to appreciate any of this.

He’d been ballsier than usual, all things considered, which is an impressive accomplishment since his default setting is audacious. Yeah, saying he wants one striker and then demanding two is a little much even for him, but he’s not going to leave a stray behind. That’d be a waste.

It’s not like Ego didn’t try to warn him, showing him actual footage to review like this was evidence he needed to present in court while making a case.

In the first clip, Rin was calling you lukewarm (there was really no context beyond this), to which you looked at him like you didn’t even know who he was and said, “Peons should only speak to me while looking at my feet, so do that or exercise your right to remain silent,” and it made Rin so incredulous that he actually didn’t respond.

Then Shidou appeared to have found this funny because he came running into view at mach speed laughing his ass off, just to shove the soles of his cleaves in Rin’s face and say, “Lick my feet, Rin-Rin!”

Predictably this turned into some kind of scuffle (to Sae’s bemusement, Rin was losing), and then you joined in because apparently Shidou was ‘copying you,’ and when you accused him of that he became super offended, and at some point the video cut off.

Fine, Sae thought. Whatever.

The second one was ominously titled ‘The_[L/n]_Disaster.wmv,’ and it was cut out from the match this whole saga revolved around. It was normal for a while until you — for no discernible reason — fell down to your knees, pulled an… unsettling expression, screamed like a banshee and said, “I’m so bored! I’m gonna die!” before stealing the ball and shooting it into your own team’s net.

Understandably the field fell into an uproar, and some of your teammates straight up threatened to kill you.

“Who the hell do you think you are???”

You sat down like a petulant child, crossed your arms even. Everyone was too busy holding back their bloodlust so as to not pummel you into the ground and get a hundred red cards to make sense of your behavior.

… Honestly? A little weird, but nothing the Itoshi Sae can’t work with.

And then there was the last video, which was also the lengthiest. Whoever edited it had too much time on their hands. It was like a full-fledged movie with a romantic subplot (between Shidou and the ball or maybe his abstract interpretations of the act of playing football), conflict (the half hour long montage of him fighting everyone, overlayed with shitty dubstep music), and even a climax (in the literary sense).

Also strange, but not enough to put off Sae. After seeing all of this, though, he wondered if Rin managed to make at least one friend, but quickly squashed the thought. Not like he cares.

The final attachment was completely innocuous, an overview of your abilities and progress in Blue Lock, and both of you had unflattering pictures in your files. Ego’s underlying question of Do you know what you’re getting yourself into? still translated.

You’re not lumps of talent or whatever. It’s more like you’re diamonds buried in a deep pit of shit that no one even wants, but at the mental image of himself digging through feces, Sae disregards the metaphor.

If Ego’s idea for an ideal striker is a raging megalomaniac, well. He sure knows how to pick them.

___

Electrocuted like an inmate in a movie running into the fence while trying to break out of jail, muzzled like some kind of idiot dog that doesn’t know not to bite people, strapped down in a fucking straitjacket, what did Shidou ever do to deserve this? Humiliated, and not in the sexy way.

To think of all of these punishments, the most cruel one is still your company.

Just watching you is exhausting him, maybe even more so because he can’t stand up and restrain your annoying ass to make you stop screaming and rolling around and kicking and hitting and whatever (all things he believes are within his right and not yours, since you’re doing them in a way that is so not fun). He swears he’s never been tired before, but right now he has no energy, and he’s not even doing anything. You have to be some special new species of leech.

That’d be kinda hot now that he thinks about it, if you’d like… attach to him and suck out his blood. But for now he needs to stay focused.

Prior to your freak-out — he’s not even sure what you’re mad about — you had to write ‘I won’t score in my own goal next time’ all over the walls because apparently ‘if you act like a child, you’ll get treated like one,’ but you gave up not even half-way through and broke the marker after declaring you’re going to kill Ego.

“I think you need to be in a straitjacket, not me,” he says with a sly grin as if this whole situation is amusing. He does share your killing Ego sentiments, though, but you’re easy to tease. Despite his fatigue from the predicament, he is still dedicated to being an irritating piece of shit.

“I wish I was!” you say.

What?

You drag your hands down your face, stretching the skin. “I’m going to gouge my eyes out!” Then there’s some more facial expressions of mental anguish before you perk up after his words properly register in your head. “Oh, you’re so worthless and perverse, but this is actually a great idea. We should switch,” you say pleasantly.

“Worthless? C’mon, didn’t you watch while I was playing?”

You undo the muzzle so he’s the slightest bit grateful to you until you say, “Meh.”

You’re being disingenuous here and one of Shidou’s principles is real recognizes real, so even this is enough to piss him off, but then again there was also the other questionable and embarrassing thing you did. “If football’s a source of life, then you’re like a miscarriage. Or an abortion.”

“What! Why?”

Wow, you are such an infuriating and confusing hypocrite. He needs to take you out on a date some time. “‘Cause the only one who should get to shoot in your goal is… me.”

Your eye twitches, face scrunching to the left like a black hole is sucking in all of your features. He looks so happy with himself that you want him to die. “Shidou Ryuusei-”

“Not the full government name!” he cries out with fake dismay.

“-if you say something like this to me again, I’m gonna dismember you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” There is a shit-eating grin of a man who knows exactly what you’re talking about on his face. A slight blush, even, but it points towards elation, not embarrassment. “And there’s nothing in here you can do that with.”

“The room has walls.”

“Don’t saaaay things like that,” he sings. “Not when I’m all tied up like a lunatic.”

What does he mean by this?

You’re not even making progress with unhooking the straitjacket since there isn’t much wiggle room between Shidou’s back and the weird stand thing, but Ego shocks you through the bodysuit to dissuade you from any further attempts. This time, when you slip on the floor, it’s not your fault. After a few pitiful twitches, you say, “That’s it. I’m gonna die.”

???

“I was beautiful.” You pose while still on the floor. “Please make up some cool last words for me. For my tombstone.”

“You went from killing Four Eyes to killing me to then killing yourself. Amazing range,” says Shidou with a whistle, once again acting like the situation is funny.

He watches you try to break your neck by forcing it in unnatural positions using your hands for a bit until the effort proves to be anatomically impossible. Long hours lie ahead of him.

___

Sae has been eavesdropping in front of the door for at least twenty minutes to assess the situation before walking in. There’d been blood-curdling screams, heavy sounds of thrashing (apparently you were trying to run up to the ceiling and kept falling down and throwing tantrums, which Shidou, again, found hilarious, but all it gave Sae was a migraine from having to listen to the commotion), and five arguments that never concluded because you two couldn’t stay on topic. Many expletives and creative death threats flew through the air.

It occurs to him for the first time that trying to control the two most selfish strikers on the roster is ambitious. You both operate on an incomprehensible level of egotism, with you acting like your teammates are unimpressive circus acts and Shidou’s tendency to play as if he’s a sole soldier on a mission to bludgeon everyone else on the field. Small fry who don’t take gambles like this here and there, though, aren’t worth anything.

“I love watchin’ people squirm and all, but not like this. Can you do something more exciting?”

“What’s gonna be exciting is the sight of your nail beds while I rip them off one by one.”

The sound of an exaggerated yawn. “Your fake threats aren’t stirring me at all. Look at me, I’m so bored. So bored and pathetic and restrained and please, I need a more refreshing view.”

There’s one last, grander thud. “I’m done,” you declare.

… Nothing, for a bit.

“You look so cute and harmless like this. Makes me wanna squeeze your neck till your eyes pop out.”

You don’t dignify that comment with a response.

___

This latest development is detrimental to your relationship with Itoshi Sae. Not that you have any kind of relationship with him besides striking up the U-20 deal, but you’ve been dating him in your head ever since you saw him play on TV a few years ago. You’re contemplating mentally breaking up with him for good. That’s how serious of an offense you’re dealing with.

It’s like you don’t even know me, Sae, you cry, though you don’t commit to speaking it out loud. He’s not even here to hear your bitchfest, anyway, so you settle for throwing your minimalistic bag of belongings on one of the beds with as much hate as possible.

Shidou waves at you from the other side of the room like you didn’t arrive at this complex in the same car, and like you didn’t spend eight hours in the punishment room together. Your scowl is really, really ugly, wrinkling your skin. Seriously, sharing an apartment is one thing, but the same room? The same toilet? There is no one you tolerate enough in the world for this bullshit.

After sorting through your belongings and doing a good job at ignoring whatever Shidou is saying, you step out and head towards the kitchen and rummage through the fridge and the pantry. It’s a little strange that you’re no longer in Blue Lock for the time being. You can go eat at a restaurant if you want to, but you find that Sae’s team has been gracious enough to leave some supplies to last a couple of days.

Shidou trails after you like an unwanted shadow. You examine everything one last time before grabbing a protein bar and taking a seat at the table, leaving you with the view of Shidou grabbing whatever he can before he dumps it all on the counter and opens the blender. You frown in confusion. “What’re you doing?”

“Cooking,” he says in a tone which suggests he finds you stupid for not understanding that at first glance.

“You can’t put raw meat in the fucking blender.”

“Yeah, I can.” He rips two packages with different spices and dumps them in. “Look, there’s even seasoning.” And then he shoves in a cucumber and an unpeeled banana.

You lunge towards him, cradling the blender, your snack forgotten. “You’re gonna get food poisoning, moron.”

“Then how come I’ve never had it before???” Shidou tries to take a hold of it again, wrenching it out of your hands before a game of tug-of-war ensues.

There is no way he’s serious. This must be some elaborate way for him to troll you. Your struggle for the blender, however, is more intense than anyone would’ve anticipated because your palms turn sweaty, with the blender slipping out once you attempt a harder yank. Shidou almost manages to save it from its imminent fate with a swipe, but his reaction is not fast enough and it shatters on the floor.

“Look at what you did.” You gesture.

“You got in the way of my cooking! It’s your fault.”

“What the hell is wrong with you? Were you raised in a cave? A mountain? I will destroy you if I see you ‘cooking’ in my presence again.”

He rolls his eyes and mimes a blabbering mouth with his hand as if to say yap, yap, yap. You resist the urge to reach out and break at least one of his fingers.

With a huff, you stomp your way to the bathroom in search of a broom and dustpan to get rid of the glass shards, the rest of Shidou’s arguments about why a steak shake is ‘gourmet’ and ‘exotic’ falling on deaf ears. You’re also trying to think of a good place to throw away the pieces because you’re so not telling Itoshi Sae you broke his rent-a-blender.

You return to the sight of Shidou finishing up your abandoned protein bar while trying to pick up glass shards between his toes.

“Stop that. What if you hurt yourself?! Seriously, what’s your deal?” You narrow your eyes at him while he blows a raspberry at you and the realization of his thievery hits you. “Hey, spit that out.”

Shidou smiles and throws the shard — yeah, with his toes — at your shins, but you ignore the action, your pre-existing rage rendering you unresponsive. “So demanding.” He waves your protein bar, or at least what’s left of it, in the air. “Come and take it if you want it so bad.”

“I’m not playing tag like a child when the floor’s covered in glass,” you say, despite already taking a step forward, ready to assume a stance and chase him.

You do, of course, end up playing tag like a child when the floor’s covered in glass. Your protein bar falls in the toilet. When Shidou reaches to flush it, you push him out of the way, and he pushes back, and so begins a brawl, any other concerns fading in the background.

Two hours later, you shriek out a piercing scream when you take a piss and flush without thinking.

___

You wake up to weird yelling. This is atypical since you’re usually the one who causes commotion. You laze around in bed, taking it as noise from your dream, until your consciousness clears and during your first moment being awake, you swear to make whoever’s responsible for this regret it. Through bleary eyes, you observe the room, and find the bed opposite of yours empty.

You slog your way out to brush your teeth, but the racket grows louder, and you identify the source as the balcony. Without thinking, you head there to scold Shidou, abandoning your previous task.

“Cytolysis!” What the hell is he even on about? “Ooh, and arteries!” Seriously.

“Douchebag, you woke me up. Stop screaming so early or I’ll- Why are you naked?!”

“You were really talking for that long before you noticed…?”

“Cover up,” you say, disregarding his indirect call out of how much you love your own voice, to the point you stop noticing your surroundings once you get going in a spiel. “What if you get arrested for public indecency? It could ruin your life.”

“I can’t sunbathe if I’m wearing clothes,” Shidou says.

“You literally can.”

“Yeah, if I want an uneven tan.” He rolls his eyes as if you’re being unreasonable for expecting him not to randomly be in the nude. You really don’t know how maintaining a tan is more urgent than avoiding the charge you brought up, but you don’t bother questioning him any further. “Listen, you’re not ruining this for me. I haven’t been able to do my morning routine for weeks!”

“What, so you couldn’t do it in front of the others, but you can do it in front of me? I’m way too dignified for… the sight of you. Right now and in general.”

“Snobby-chan, you can’t be for real. There wasn't any sun there.”

“You really are shameless, aren’t you?”

He shrugs, looking at his nails in disinterest. “Shame is just a shackle that gets in the way of my freedom.”

Your eye twitches, and your scowling is causing some tightness in your face, primarily in your forehead. Don’t try to make it philosophical now!

“Ugh,” you say, figuring you’re way too speechless to offer anything more constructive. “Step foot in front of me like this when you’re done and I’m going to boil you in a cauldron, you hear?”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever you say, Prude-chan. Just don’t interrupt me again.”

“Call me by a nickname again and I’ll peel you with the peeler from the kitchen.”

Instead of replying, he sends you a kiss and a wink.

After some incredulous and judgmental staring, you slam the door shut, not putting much thought into the force of it. It rattles and the frame separates from the jamb, leaving it crooked and awkward. You fall to your knees on the floor and start crying — like, really bawling and torturing your throat with your wails of turmoil — and trying to shred your scalp with your nails. Shidou spares a moment from the bullshit he calls his ‘morning routine’ to laugh.

___

You emerge from your nap looking like you’ve been through the seventh circle of hell in Dante’s Inferno. It was to compensate for your early wake up. Now you stand in front of the mirror, finally brushing your teeth.

Shidou waltzes in not much later, at least wearing a shirt and shorts. He shoves you aside with the unceremonious command, “Move,” before leaning over the sink and pulling out eyeliner, trying to get in a good position.

You forget to yell at him, since you become fascinated by him when you see him put it close to his face with a look of concentration. Is he going to stab his eye out? This is so exciting.

… Shidou starts applying it over his lower lashline. You frown at the anticlimactic follow up. It’s pretty bizarre to be living with him like this, though.

Making your way around, you spit out the foam then rinse before moving on with the rest of your business. He slathers his hands in too much hair gel before beginning to work on shaping it into the ridiculous style he usually wears it in. This seems like an excruciatingly long and wasteful process.

You ask, “So you do this every day?”

“I thought ‘cause of earlier that you don’t know what a morning routine is, but are you really just gonna confirm it like that? You’re too easy.”

You almost make the mature decision to leave and do something else (maybe read a wikiHow article about how to fix doors), but Shidou proves to be too tempting of a target when he stands there, scrutinizing you with an almost feline expression as you pass by him. Twisting one of the loose strands on his head around your finger, you pull him down to eye-level, and he lets you, looking amused. “I’m gonna grab you by your stupid antennae and throw you out of the window.”

Instead of answering, Shidou backs away and flicks the one you weren’t holding. You tilt your head in confusion, not understanding what he’s doing. “My receptors are sensing bullshit.”

You scratch your chin in fake contemplation. “You know, you act kinda weird and you have this wild look going on… but deep down you’re just a lame biology nerd.”

“Me, weird?! I’m not taking that from you,” he says in mock offense.

“What?” you ask, in astonishment at his nerve to bring you up. “There’s nothing weird about me.”

Your genuine confusion is making Shidou assume you live in a parallel universe.

___

It would’ve been your third day of surviving on protein bars — Shidou keeps referring to this as ‘your fault’ because you ‘broke the blender’ (objectively it was a collaborative effort, from your perspective he is to blame) as if the blender is a cooking utensil — so you’re heading to some cheap place to eat.

“I can’t believe they’re benching us,” you say through grit teeth. The complaint serves as a distraction from your grumbling stomach.

“But the fight was pretty fun,” Shidou adds optimistically, looking extra cheerful.

Just the thought of it is making you want to shrivel up and die, but then again, there are many things which make you feel this way. “That was so embarrassing. I hope Sae didn’t see… If he did, I’ll commit seppuku during practice tomorrow.” The last statement is a promise you make with solemn seriousness.

He most definitely saw since you had a loud meltdown before you joined Shidou in attacking everyone, but instead of bringing this to your attention, he says, “Is that guy a big deal or something? You like him a lot.”

His accusation isn’t presumptuous in the slightest. The one time he got an accidental glance of your lock screen, the picture was a close-up of Itoshi Sae’s unimpressed face with a conspicuous placement of the gettyimages trademark covering a fourth of his forehead.

“What?” You raise an eyebrow. Shidou expects you to freak out again and scream in denial, but all you ask is, “Don’t you know who he is?”

He shrugs.

“He’s a genius! And really handsome, too. I love watching him play,” you swoon, caressing your cheeks. “He’s like a prince. A football prince… The best kind of prince.”

“I’ll see what he’s about during the game,” says Shidou with a grin as if he’s the professional player renowned for his skills all over the world, and Sae is some random guy. But you don’t think he’s trying to be arrogant. There’s this inane kind of excitement about him, like he hopes what you said is true because he wants to experience it.

“Hey, Shidou. What was your life like before Blue Lock?”

You can’t help being curious. Are his parents negligent or something? No sane adults would let their kid develop the habit of screaming random shit while naked every morning. You hate to admit it, but you’re concerned about him.

“No use thinkin’ about boring stuff like that.”

Makes sense he’d be a live in the moment type of person. “Yeah, you’re right. I guess dwelling on the past is pretty peasant-like.”

You smile at each other in agreement, though you’re on the same page for reasons so different, someone might wonder how you’re even managing a civil conversation.

___

“What’re you doing?” Shidou asks, resting his foot on the corner of the coffee table with his phone in hand, scrolling.

On the other end of the couch, you’re slouching and balancing a few cards from the deck you stumbled on while looking for tools to fix the door with. You’ve learned an important lesson: chisels and pry bars don’t just lie around rented apartments, waiting for someone to use them.

“I’m turning over a new leaf, so I’ve decided to rediscover patience and peace,” you say with a close-eyed smile.

The load of bullshit you uttered fuels some curiosity in Shidou, so he peeks at you over his phone case. This fake ass smile doesn’t suit you at all. You look like you don’t have a soul.

He slides closer to you inch by inch, moving his leg with himself, until he is close enough for you to see what he’s doing in your peripheral vision. Not about to let him ruin your hard work, you swat away his foot with the back of your hand, but the quick movement upsets the three pyramids and the card on top of them, sending them all toppling down.

Shidou cheers when you flip the table.

___

You’re lazing around on your bed when Shidou struts up to you with a triumphant aura. “Y’know that little problem we had? I solved it,” he announces.

You perk up, eyes shining. “You’re gonna stop screaming every morning?” You don’t even care about him being naked anymore. His ritual interrupts your sleep so often that it’s affecting your mood tracker, always starting the day off with an angry swearing red emoji.

“No, I meant the sink.”

True. You avoid making eye contact with it since it’s overflowing. In a technical sense, you know how to wash them, so it’s not incompetence that’s driving you to allow this to go on. But it’d be an act of subservience since Shidou also throws his dirty dishes in there, and you’re not going to do his chores. You will make him understand who’s the bigwig here, even if you have to eat without a plate by the end of this lesson you’re teaching him.

He continues, “You’re pretending you don’t like waking up to my angelic voice now?” Then clears his throat, not leaving you any time to reassure him you’re not faking your distaste for his idiocy.

You interrupt him and cut off the fifth tone deaf ‘la.’ “So, you finally washed them?”

“What?” Shidou asks, raising his eyebrows like your assumption is nonsensical. “I threw them off the balcony. Now there aren’t any more of ‘em to get dirty.”

He looks so proud of himself — while also clearly realizing you’re on the brink of a breakdown, if his manic grin is anything to go by — and you want to puke. Theatrically, you roll off and fall, hoping to hit your head and get a life-threatening concussion, but for better or for worse, nothing of the sort happens.

You can imagine him aiming at people with forks from above.

When you remain still for a while, Shidou nudges you like one might do to fresh roadkill with a long stick from a safe distance. “You there? Are you hibernating or something? Blink twice if you died.”

___

Your recovery lasts several hours, during which you do nothing but lie on the floor.

Once out of your stupor, you head to the kitchen to mourn your loss (not of the dishes, but for your inability to get Shidou to do them), perhaps to gaze out of the window with a wistful sadness in your eyes. It takes you a few morose steps to realize they’re there, intact. Clean. You blink.

You can be so stupid sometimes.

___

A cockroach crawls out from behind the mirror. You back away, startled by the sudden movement, not realizing what it is you’re seeing at first glance. The real horror starts when you recognize the creature in front of you and shriek in alarm. When it doesn’t produce the desired result, you cave in and yell, “Shidou!”

“D’you want toilet paper?” he asks, his tone way too casual in comparison to yours. You could be dying in here, kidnapped and tortured by the Cockroach King, and you’re convinced Shidou would not give a shit.

“No! Just come in.”

He does. With a roll under his armpit. And then he does nothing to help.

You point at the wall, your index finger accusatory. It hasn’t moved to hide yet, so at least you don’t have to be paranoid about its whereabouts.

“You just strike me as the type of person who’d tell someone to wipe your ass,” he says irrelevantly.

“Kill it!!!” You’re glossing over his apparent willingness to do just that. But your anger dissolves into panic when your imagination comes up with all sorts of alternatives that have you clutching your scalp. It could give birth. Maybe you’d have to be the godparents, babysitting every Saturday.

“Pretentious-chan is not so big and bad anymore.” Shidou pouts, as if disappointed, then grabs it with his bare hand and examines it, making a big deal out of doing so, squinting his eye while widening the other. The insect is squirming in his hold.

“Bro, get rid of it! What if it escapes?!”

He takes a step forward, beaming at you, which you read as a warning sign preceding sinister intentions. Though you want to back away, you’re already standing by the sink, the front digging deeper into your skin. You think to reach out and push him away, but it puts you at risk of coming in contact with it if he lets it loose on accident… or on purpose.

Very slowly, he brings it closer and closer to your face. Your chin is retracting into your neck while you lean back to the best of your ability, and it’s straining your muscles, making you clench your teeth out of both fear and disgust.

“The others call me a cockroach,” Shidou says. “Are we twinning?”

“Stop.”

“C’mon, do we look alike?” He has the audacity to smile, looking all innocent.

One of the antennas almost brushes against your nose. Your brows pinch together, and you’re reaching levels of facial tension you haven’t experienced before, which is impressive considering how many mood swings you flip through on a daily basis.

“Dude, get it away from me,” you beg, borderline crying.

It seems to click in Shidou’s head that this is more serious than your usual tantrums, and he hates to think he’s made you upset on a substantial level, scrambling to crush the roach and flush it away.

You relax from your ‘afraid turtle’ position, straightening your posture to glare at him. Shidou looks at you like a kicked puppy. Even though he knows you don’t have mercy for excuses — valid or invalid — he takes a crack at the worst one. “It was a joke.”

If looks could kill.

“I’m sorry.”

His mumbling is quite pathetic and therefore almost unable to reach your ears (this phrase isn’t really a part of his vocabulary, so it comes out like a foreign tongue twister), but after you make sense of what he said, your lips settle into a phony smile.

“I think it’s unfair the others call you an insect,” you say. “I mean, they’re animals, but you make the conscious decision to be a piece of shit.”

“I’m sooooorry,” he says, this time with more confidence, and tries to catch you in a hug. As if.

“Wash your hands, freak.”

“Oh, right. I almost forgot about touching it already. Oops!”

You massage the bridge of your nose. He’s hopeless.

___

This noon, Shidou is preparing you a salad. You guess it’s a bit lacking, but you only have the tomatoes and the cucumbers and a block of cheese left. You’ve mostly been ignoring him since yesterday and he took matters into his own hands when he realized you were willing to starve over this. The protein bars ran out too, which is a shame since you love throwing them in as a side dish to your cooking.

Shidou liked the spaghetti. There wasn’t any sauce, so he suggested you grate protein bars over it, and you almost vomited after you tasted it. But at least one of you was happy.

You glance at him, mulling over whether you should continue being mad or not. Your wrath doesn’t seem effective on him, so you might need to switch strategies. Though you abandon the train of thought once you see how he’s gripping the knife like a toddler, cutting the vegetables and humming some annoying tune, so you rise from your seat and approach him. “You’re gonna hack your fingers off.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll show you.” You make a ‘gimme that’ gesture and hope it translates well enough.

Instead of passing it over, a gleeful expression takes over his face, and the sight of it disturbs you, since this is how you know he’s about to do something stupid. Your hunch proves correct when Shidou wraps his arms around your waist and lifts you in the air, looking up at you like you hung the moon or some shit, full of wonder. Usually, you’d appreciate people showing you due respect, but you have other concerns right now.

“The knife’s still in your hands, you fucking idiot,” you screech, squeezing his shoulder in alarm. What if he stabs you in the back, on some Julius Caesar shit?

“You’re so mean, but you still worry about me the most out of everyone,” he says, all but shoving his head against your neck, his nose poking your collarbone.

“RELEASE ME.”

You fall on your ass when he does. Shidou’s smile does not slip at the sound of you grunting in pain.

“You’re dangerous,” you say.

“For your heart, I’m assuming.”

“Yeah. I have high blood pressure, so.”

“Oh,” he says.

You pat yourself to brush off imaginary dust and make a big stink out of it, with downturned lips and aggressive motions. Then you ask, ��Were you for real?”

“I’m pretty straight-forward,” he tells you as if it suffices.

Again, you hate to admit it, but you feel bad for him, if he perceives you as the one who cares about him the most. After all, you’re not all that kind to him.

___

“Are you awake?” Shidou asks the night before the match.

“No,” you say, continuing to scroll through your phone.

“Ok, listen. Do we share equal power in the relationship?”

“What?”

“Do we: A. work as a team or D. you get angry when I try to make decisions without you???”

“First of all,” you frown, “what the hell are you talking about? Second of all, why are you going from option A straight to option D?! It’s upsetting my balance.”

“I’m trying to see if you’re toxic, so I’m taking this relationship quiz,” he says before pressing something.

There might be some sensitive sort of nerve in your temple which is jumping out right now. “I’m not your lover.”

“Yeah, I know,” Shidou agrees while continuing to do whatever he is doing, not even bothering to conceal it. “I just wanna see.” Then, after more tapping, he lets out a performative gasp. “The quiz is saying you’re a red flag!”

“Shut up.” You throw your pillow at him, though they don’t spend much time together since he flings it back almost immediately. “You are, too.”

“Is it meant to be…?”

“Good night.”

“I thought you were already sleeping,” he lies with a facetious smile on his face. “Red flag, red flag!”

___

Shidou almost breaks out into a sprint, but you pull him back with a handful of his jersey, almost tripping him. “Let’s make a more nonchalant entrance,” you say, even if you don’t need to go out together.

“Huh, why? I wanna go out and play already,” he says, seemingly annoyed, though he does slow down to match your pace, shoving his hands in the sides of his pants from the lack of pockets.

You ignore the action and reply, “Well, I belong on the field and it’s natural I’ll be showing up, so there’s no reason to be too excited about it.”

“What a load of bullshit,” Shidou says, amused. “Are you any good when you’re shooting in the opponent’s net?”

“Guess you need to give me a good show. Otherwise, I start misbehaving when I’m bored.”

“You don’t need to worry about that at all!” Shidou swings an arm around your shoulder with a grin which seems a bit too elated. “Just keep your eyes on me and I’ll get you all excited.”

You’re about to retort with something about how you really doubt it, but grow preoccupied with blowing a kiss at the audience who doesn’t even know who you are. In this moment, Shidou realizes you’re some momentous kind of knobhead. It’s rare he’s the voice of reason, but you’ve given him a few opportunities to act as such the last few weeks.

___

Though Shidou already scored once, you’ve been stuck on defense the whole time, or getting marked by that pesky guy Isagi. You grit your teeth. He’s trying to piss you the fuck off and you know it. He wants you to lose your marbles so you become a liability.

If you have to be honest, you always think of everyone else on the field as an obstacle, even your teammates. You cannot name a point in time when this hasn’t been the case. In high school, you had the best scoring ability on your team, but messed up a lot and couldn’t synergize with the rest of them, and you’d get benched more often than not. And it always drove you crazy how your replacement couldn’t play to save his life, but somehow he was preferable.

Hell, you don’t even like playing most times. Your skin is always itching, giving you this familiar feeling that you’re about to burst into a pile of angry, gory entrails. Everyone else always calls these episodes tantrums or… or other synonymous words, you’re not good with words, but to you, it really feels like Armageddon when you get upset.

You mostly had fun practicing by yourself, kicking the ball on and on, running down the river for hours. It was liberating in a way, with no incompetent midfielder to tell you where you can and can’t shoot from, or missing the spot you’re trying to go for because your plans don’t match, or everyone telling you that you don’t fit in, or any people at all. It’s one big pain in the ass, playing football, but you’re so obsessed with it.

Shidou’s second goal snaps you out of this mulling you were doing. You blink in begrudging amazement. It’s like he took flight, or ascended, or something else dramatic of that nature.

The desire to score and steal the attention from him overwhelms you.

You don’t have to be the one who’s dancing out of sync anymore, if everyone’s going in your tempo. If Itoshi Sae doesn’t mind passing to these bad, bad spots you love so much, you can move freely just like Shidou.

When the ball goes back in play, you stay back and observe for a moment, before diagonally sprinting across the field.

“Hi,” you greet Sendou, before swiping it away from him and kicking it overhead all the way back to your side’s penalty area.

He stares at you in a mix of incredulity and irritation. “We’re on the same team!”

“Aces who can’t score don’t get to question me, okay?”

“You-”

But you’re already running again, continuing the zigzag pattern.

Aiku — who miraculously secures the ball and passes to Sae after your movements put everyone else on the field in disarray — hollers in half amusement, “Where the hell do you think you’re shooting?”

All this stupid fucking noise. ‘Winning’ and ‘losing,’ ‘heroes’ and ‘villains,’ ‘sensible’ and ‘irrational,’ everyone else always lets these plebeian concepts constrain them. Is it such a crime you don’t want to let anyone chain you down?

Sae passes the ball with you back and forth while you cut across the pitch, closing in, confusing and slipping past the defenders with your flitting and nonsensical dribbling. Karasu tries to intercept you, so you kick the ball to Shidou on the opposite wing with Reo breathing down his neck.

He has no choice, but to kick it a few paces ahead of you, where you arrive after shaking off Karasu by jumping around him during the shoulder-to-shoulder tackle.

“Ya move like a dumbass.”

“It’s really not fair when I have to give it back to you,” Shidou joins in on the yelling. By the expression he’s making, you can’t tell if he’s angry or excited. “Tease!”

You’re approaching the goal line, with Blue Lock’s side focusing on blocking you and limiting Sae’s courses. Oh, you can tell he’s gonna give you a really nasty one, so you can’t help but pass it back to him, hoping he can assist you in brute forcing your way through the rabble. Everyone is more or less floundering all the way to the left, drawn to your madness.

It’s kind of sadistic when he has you scrambling for the ball right in the middle of all this mess — unidentified limbs and bodies reaching for it at the same time. You jump and mime a kicking motion before trapping it, lobbing it over your head, then twisting your body in mid-air, viciously striking it into the net with your nondominant foot, right through the clear path where no one is guarding.

“A crazy feint in mid-air?! Against all logic, U-20’s [L/n] [Y/n] secures the goal!”

You land on your back with your legs shooting up in the air. You see Isagi hovering near Shidou, who was wide open. He must’ve been predicting you to give it up. He was reacting to you?

The audience is screaming my name… But right now, I’m just kind of happy to be playing with everyone.

Huh. It’s kind of like you’re practicing by the river again.

___

Sae knows you don’t need much provocation to blow a fuse.

What he doesn’t expect is for you to also be very easy to please.

He also feels like a really big, smelly, juicy slab of meat with two hyenas breathing down his neck, what with Shidou jumping on his back and babbling about something and you taking his hands in yours before kneeling and proclaiming, “Please marry me.”

What the hell?

He wretches his fingers out of your hold, leaving you in the same position since you’re apparently too delusional to stop, huge smile on your face and all despite the rejection. Then he throws Shidou to the ground.

The phone number would cost three points. Sae isn’t sure how much matrimony is worth.

Shidou averts his interest to you, leaving Sae as the witness to whatever embarrassment is about to occur. He grabs you and forces you to stand up.

“Your explosion was the freakiest I’ve seen yet. Ka-boom!”

Is this supposed to be a compliment?

“Are you kidding me, your goal before that got me all fired up.”

Wow, and you, by all accounts a big-headed prick, are returning the kind(?) words.

“Pretty fun, isn’t it?” asks Shidou. “I’m having a blast.”

“I’m so happy and free of restraints, it’s like I’m on acid. No, something stronger. Ecstasy! DMT! PCP! Meth! Feeling this good should be against the rules! They should suspend me for doping!”

“You get me,” Shidou says in astonishment, parting his mouth in surprise. “You totally get me! It’s not something that makes sense! It’s a sensation! A state of existence! Let’s stay in symbiosis forever!”

What the fuck is going on.

You intertwine your fingers with his and proceed to dance by spinning around each other in a circle like some freaks. Sae steps out of earshot inch by inch, fleeing the scene.

___

You’re gathering your things from the apartment since you and Shidou need to leave tonight. You spent two hours trying to DIY fix the balcony door again, but the endeavor was unproductive. For him, the most time-consuming task was retrieving all his products from the bathroom.

“You know, you’re so much fun when you’re in a good mood,” Shidou says, probably still thinking about the match, even though your team didn’t end up winning.

“Hey, Shidou. Do you remember that weird thing you said?”

“What thing?”

God, of course he doesn’t register the shit he spews as abnormal. You roll your eyes. “‘Let’s stay in symbiosis forever.’ Did you mean it?”

“I already told your demented ass I’m pretty straight-forward. I don’t say things just to say them! Get it through your head. Lip service is lame.” You frown and let out a noncommittal hum in response, which makes Shidou nudge you then poke you in the face until you respond. “What’s the matter? You’re not hitting me or screaming, so must be something bad.”

“I’m… I’m alone a lot, and I mean alone, not lonely, don’t get it twisted, so this is a big promise. We’ll have to make a blood pact over it if you’re serious.”

“Hm? Okay.”

“What, really? Just like that?”

“Make it the promise of a lifetime,” he sings, before wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer so you’re standing cheek-to-cheek. “You drive my love cells wild.”

The stare you scrutinize him with is one of abject horror.

“Come on, say something.” He starts poking you — this time in the ribs — when you don’t respond for a long time, but his grin settles into a thin line as if he’s possibly afraid he might’ve put you off.

You elbow him in the stomach, which distracts him from the jabbing he was doing, and then your demeanor switches entirely because you smile, point up your index finger and declare, “You know what? I like how enthusiastic you are about me. Let’s get married.”

Shidou bursts out laughing and this is apparently amusing enough for him to forget the way you shoved him back. “You’re kinda intense.”

“Me? Intense? And you aren’t?”

“Nah, I’m pretty chill.”

How you’re both this self-unaware, no one will ever know.

___

y/n to sae: Me and my boyfriend saw u from across the bar and we really like your vibe

[cerealxperimentslain]

i am sick to bastard fucking death of shofarsogood (tw for anti arabism and islamophobia) (& a guest appearance of a klansman for some fucking reason)

i think this post is a little funny, and i will give you the context to see why

ID: A post by @xclowniex, reblogged by @shofarsogood:

“I really need goyim to listen to the whole "if 9 people sit at a table and then one nazi sits at that table and no one tried to remove the nazi, then there are 10 nazis at the table"

I have lost my entire irl friend group due to antisemitism, and whilst correlation doesn't equal causation, so im not saying anything as 100% fact, however there is mad correlation between levels of being antisemitic and closeness with a specific person.

I can't be bothered to turn it into a physcial graph but in my head, oo babie is it a strong graph”

End ID

(first of all lol. lmao.)

ID: @xclowniex reblogged @the-catboy-minyan:

@goatfactsofficial:

A screenshot of a 4chan comment saying “I see you've fall for the old Jewish trick of using evidence to make a point”

@goatfactsofficial:

“literally the pro-pal crowd for the last 298 days”

End ID

let’s be clear, @shofarsogood is mutuals with @prismatic-bell

ID: @shofarsogood reblogged @prismatic-bell

@badjokesbyjeff:

(the post has been cut off for brevity)

End ID

(badjokesbyjeff cameo, naturally)

(I could insert screenshots of prismatic-bell reblogging from shofarsogood but that feels redundant. go scroll both their blogs for a single minute you’ll find more than enough proof)

we should all be familiar with prismatic-bell at this point, but here’s a quick reminder

ID: Post by @prismatic-bell, dated 13 may 2021:

"Free Palestine" IS an antisemitic statement.

It comes with the idea that Palestinians are the only people who have an ancient homeland here, and that Jews are to blame for "taking it over." When they destroyed our temple and put a mosque right on top of it! And then they claim we don't belong there!

"Free Palestine" is a shorthand way of saying you hate Jews. Because it ignores history and, almost without variation, is used as an excuse for antisemitic crimes.”

End ID

(google dot com what were muslims doing in the year 70CE) (also i have endless examples of prismatic bell saying the most fucked up shit. xe has never-stop-posting disease and it would be literally impossible to miss what kind of person xe is)

ID: post by @prismatic-bell:

“You know what?

Fuck Ramadan.

Sorry. We were attacked, raped, murdered, beaten, and kidnapped on a major Jewish holiday, and our Chanukkah was spent in misery. I was threatened for playing Chanukkah music IN MY OWN CAR.

So FUCK Ramadan. If this is how our holidays are treated, y'all can feel the same.”

End ID

like. there are so many “don’t call me zionist” people who follow and interact with shofarsogood. i don’t think you get to find yourself offended by people calling you a zionist if this is who you are mutuals with, & therefore mutuals-in-law with @prismatic-bell and @spot-the-antisemitism.

also second cameo of @the-catboy-minyan

ID: @shofarsogood reblogged @spot-the-antisemitism:

@the-catboy-minyan:

“dude I should have replied to every donation ask I got while having "proud Israeli Jew" on my blog to show people how these are bots that send asks randomly. you think Gazans are gonna come to a (((zionist))) for money? Imao.”

End ID

ID: @spot-the-antisemitism reblogged @shofarsogood. End ID

let me introduce @spot-the-antisemitism

ID: @spot-the-antisemitism reblogged a post by @the-garbanzo-annex-jr:

A badly cropped image. On the left is a photo of protesters protecting their identities with Palestinian keffiyeh and masks. On the right is a photo of a klansman in a hood. The text on the image reads:

“If your ideology requires that you cover your face… …maybe you need a new ideology.”

End ID

these guys’ whole entire deal is cherry picking examples of people being antisemitic and using that to try and delegitimise the whole antizionist & pro Palestine movement through some attempt of “guilt by association”. all while freely and guiltlessly associating with people like @some-israeli-guy

ID: @spot-the-antisemitism reblogged from @some-israeli-guy. End ID

this fucking guy

ID: @some-israeli-guy:

“They started a war to wipe out the Jews, they spread lies of rape and torture to demonize the Jews, and when their people ran away in fear and their militaries lost, they had the nerve to call is "the disaster" and act like innocent victims.”

#israel #palestine #no peace with nazis #palestine is a death cult #palestinian hypocrisy #antisemitism

End ID

like what do you even say to that.

a lot of this checking blog stuff i learned to do when it was much more common for cryptoterfs to be prowling around these parts. cryptoterfs won’t say transphobic slurs and they won’t openly advocate for the death of all transfems and forceful detransition of all transmascs, but they have no qualms about following people who do, while they avoid reblogging anything hateful enough that will get them easily clocked as radfems or terfs. hell, maybe they don’t even personally believe those things, maybe they’re trying to “see both sides of things”. maybe they don’t care at all and follow those blogs for entirely unrelated things and that’s why they won’t reblog any of the hate speech.

does it matter?

at the end of the day, whatever their internal motivations may be, they don’t disagree enough with the absolutely horrendous levels of transmisogyny and transphobia to see it as a dealbreaker

parallels parallels parallels

speaking of which, the way these people blog also mirrors the way that many radfems will blog. we all know the style, the “dig up some fucking joe nobody transgender person saying something stupid or lesbophobic/misogynistic & use that to paint the whole movement in a bad light”

“oh but isn’t that what you’re doing right now?” prismatic-bell hasn’t been the bane of tumblr for years just for you to call xir a joe nobody. i could pull up a joe nobody with 3 followers who says things about palestine that i wouldn’t repeat with a gun to my head, but that’s not what this is about

this is about some incredibly popular blogs on here that are either violently hateful towards palestinians, or they are mutuals with those people and don’t see that as enough of a problem to even unfollow let alone block & denounce them.

anyway i can’t link links in the original post but i have a lot of receipts reblogged to @disgustingechoes feel free to have a peruse if you are unconvinced

[marciaillust]

How long does it take for you to finish drawing?

I'm an artist (beginner) and i unconsciously set unrealistic goals for myself and need a reminder of how long it takes to complete a drawing, Thanks.

Hi! In the context you presented it in, that is a really interesting question, so I'll try to approach it thoroughly. I hope I won't make you roll your eyes too much.

Where to start, where to start... I guess the first thing I should say is that there is a difference between time I spend preforming the action of <drawing>, and the time I spent <working> on a particular piece. The first would be counted in hours, the second one - days. I'm a big believer in slowing things down, and giving things time - going through options, gathering research and references, taking breaks every 1h of sitting and drawing - and seeing things through until I achieve the goal I set at the beginning of the process.

The goals are usually different each time: "quick design", "character exploration", "analysis of an artist's linework and experimenting with the knowledge gained", "creating an aesthetically pleasing image", and so on and so forth. Of course I don't write these down like it's a school assignment, but knowing in the back of my head what I'm actually doing helps me manage my expectations. I also enjoy being conscious of why I create - when I was younger regardless of what I was doing I had the thought "AND IT MUST LOOK GOOD AND PRESENTABLE! BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL LOOK!" ...and I think that obsession is the cancer of creative process.

Since the goals for each picture are different, the time I'll spent on achieving each one will be different as well, because the "satisfactory results" lay in different places. For example, the Marcile sketchpage was created in one afternoon, and took approximately 3 hours. The goal was to play around with a brush that has no opacity forcing my lines to be more decisive. I did that and so it is "finished". There's nothing else I want from it.

On the other hand, the cover of Asterism took about 10 days to create, the goal of which was to make "an aesthetically pleasing cover picture taking colour inspiration from the works of (specific list of artists)". I took my time designing it so that it looks aesthetically pleasing, made sure the anatomy is "correct" (a nebulous statement when it comes to stylised humans), took my time masking, and picking colours, and shading. I wanted it to "look good" to my own eyes so if something was not working I would go back, change it, alter it, move it around... that's the wonderful thing about personal art, you can take as long as you like making something satisfactory.

The funny thing is, with what the Asterism cover actually is (a cellshaded image), it could have been done probably in 4 days by the me 4 years ago. But that person was willing to sit 8-10 hours a day to draw with no breaks, she had little social life, and treated herself as a little circus seal performing tricks so that people clap around her, and the clapping was soooo nice because it meant that people remembered her and she mattered. And it worked for her! For long 10 years! Until her arm gave out, and the reality of never being able to draw again became more tangible than ever, and it's been following her like a fog ever since for the past 4 years. The me today works about 4 hours a day and every hour I take about a 30 minute break. I also don't post half the stuff I draw. There is also another aspect that dictates the speed of creating and that is familiarity with the subject matter. The less you know something, the fast you'll draw it! But as you get to know the intricacies of the process, and see all the building blocks, it will start taking *longer* because you will start accounting for every block. But then you'll eventually get familiar with the blocks and so the time spent on a picture will go down again! The cool yet overwhelming thing about art is that, there are always hundreds of building blocks. Form, composition, ambient occlusion, saturation, hue, light balance, line form...... and those are just the *some* of the generalised *categories*. And each category will have it's own subsection of building blocks! And then those blocks will interact with each other to create completely new area of expertise! This is crazy! Marcille sketch page took me only 3 hours to create because I am already quite familiar with linework - I have drawn 3-4 comicbooks worth of linework. This also means I am familiar with believable anatomy, more or less, which got utilised in the Asterism cover - the main bulk of linework got created during a 3h livestream. So.... what's the answer.... "It's all relative" is so unsatisfactory and probably not what you looked for. But you can draw something in 3 days and kill your body over it. Or you can become an expert in a field and dish the same picture out effortlessly in 8 hours. You can also split that 8h block over multiple days bringing you back up to 3 days. You could even add a whole day of visual research which might make your picture only marginally better. And even if we calculate it in terms of raw working time, pen-to-paper, like a self-inflicted capitalist tumor, that time can fluctuate still due to personal visual library and knowledge base. If I asked Tom Fox how long it takes for him to create his sketch pages his answer would probably be downward of 30 minutes. Yet I need whole 3 hours to create something *less* anatomically correct than him. And so here we are at the end of this perhaps unnecessary essay. And all we learned is this: it depends. Dry, not nuanced tl;dr, my personal timings: single sketch - 30mins; single linework pic 1-2h; Cellshaded illust - 16h; Rendered illust: 20-25h.

[skcirthinq]

I may have read "I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good" by @dandylovesturtles again.

So I drew. Again. (Small spoilers ahead)

The first piece is a little comic adaptation from chapter 2; context is that Leo is cursed out of his body, intangible, and unable to communicate.

And well. His family doesn't know about the curse.

And Donnie's been running some tests on Leo's empty body. They're not. Coming up with good results.

Dandylovesturtles's writing is so much more impactful than what I got here, so like! If you haven't, go read their works!

The other pieces are random scenes from the rest of the fic, with some descriptions under the cut.

Image 1: colored and rendered comic adaptation of a scene from chapter 2 of "I May Be Invisible". Raph is hitting a punching bag, while Leo walks in and watches him. Raph cannot see or hear Leo. They're both upset, with Raph's knuckles splitting open and bleeding, and tears gathering in his eyes over the panels. Leo begins to sit down, as Raph stops punching, and falls to his knees, crying in earnest. Leo turns around to give Raph some privacy, and talks to Raph, who eventually curls into himself and unknowingly rolls into Leo.

Dialogue is taken from chapter 2 of "I May Be Invisible, But I Still Look Good", Leo is the only speaker, and reads as follows: "Well, the good news is, Donnie's wrong about this one." "I know it looks bad. Donnie's not wrong about that, I mean, I saw the EEG, I know it's..." "It looks bad." " But... thanks for sticking up for me in there." "Don't give up on me, big guy." "I promise I'm doing whatever I can think of to get back to you." "I wish I could talk to you. I wish I could tell you not to worry. I mean, I know you'd worry anyway, but at least you'd worry a little less." "You don't deserve this, Raph. I wanted to take some of the weight off your shoulders, but I messed it all up again. And now you're having to deal with it, just like we make you deal with everything, and I'm just... I'm so sorry." "At least, do me a favor, and talk to Dad? Or April, or ... Or someone." "Not Donnie, obviously, that could Not have gone worse. But you don't need to deal with this on your own. I hope you don't deal with this on your own..." "Sleep, big guy. I'm with you, I promise. I'm not going anywhere. "

Image 2: when your cursed brother yeets himself off an overpass and through a van's roof and the artist won't draw cars. (A partially rendered set of drawings featuring a blue, glitchy Leo falling through the roof of a moving vehicle, while an upset Mikey crouches on the roof. It's night, raining, and lights are zooming past at high speed.)

Image 3: Leo activated his ninpo after a character arc, just in time for the final battle! (Partially Rendered; a blue glitchy Leo, holding katanas solidifying from his ninpo, turns and looks over his shoulder. Behind him is a wall of pink-magenta flames being pulled up by the big bad.)

Image 4: Leo's family and friends are seeing him (image 3) for the first time in days. While also beating up some elementals. (Sketch)

Images 5-10: sketches of various scenes from the rest of the fic, except for 7, which did Not happen. But I thought would be a little funny if it had. 5 is Mikey and Donnie playing catch with the cursed amulet. 6 is Raph busting out of a dome made of rock. 7 is April accidentally letting the baseball instincts take over when being tossed the Leo ball. 8 is Raph trying to squeeze through a narrow cave passage, and Leo walking through the cave walls. 9 is Casey Sr. getting one last punch in on an elemental. And 10 is Leo looking up at his overjoyed family, once he gets back into his body.

Obviously, all credit goes to Dandylovesturtles!

[voidedaurora]

hey! quartlez just posted a video “clearing the grooming allegations” on their pasqelz channel. which i find a bit funny cause if you’re so serious about clearing your name n ppl are lying grr 😡 shouldn’t it be on your main account??

they also said working on it stressed them out (poor them 🥺 /sar) so the video isn’t super long

they said “Originally had a longer video prepared but workin’ on it stressed me out too much and ended up not likin’ it later down the line so hope this one will suffice Apologizes on the wait but didn't wanna rush anythin out”

i hope that you n everyone else affected by them are okay! 🫶🏼

I'm aware of the video and have watched it, it proves nothing, disproves nothing, flat out LIES?, etc. Starting with the most blatant lie, around 6:42 I never posted her porn/Nsfw, I'm not evil and I have no reason to do so. She claims that I deleted it but I actually don't think I've deleted a SINGLE tumblr post I've made here, I've edited posts to correct spelling, censor evidence I failed to censor while rushing, etc. But I don't think I've flat out deleted any of them? After looking for a while to figure out what she was talking about I figured out the image at least, this is a flat out lie and her trying to twist the narrative. THIS is the drawing she is talking about to my knowledge.

This is obviously NOT NSFW, Suggestive at worst. She's honestly just trying to make me look bad I guess? I've never posted cropped NSFW of hers, I don't have a reason to. Additionally, just gonna point out since she has a caption at the bottom left saying she looked for the post, I have good reason to believe SHE never looked for anything according to her own words as shown here.

Screenshot was taken on the 22nd of October

This obviously isn't groundbreaking or anything crazy but it's definitely something to note since she's making this "response" based off of things her friends have told her and interpreted from posts online At around 1:11 she talks about how she "didn't want to treat Khai differently than how I acted towards any of my other friends so they didn't feel left out" and pretty much tries to justify the way she acted around her with the fact it was how Mel and I had acted to eachother and sometimes with Khai as a group. This does NOT excuse anything, despite what she believes, acting a certain way around someone or letting certain things slide that you wouldn't "normally" would be considered SPECIAL TREATMENT and isn't ok. Letting Khai in her server early is special treatment It's fucking insane that even after your friends told you not to let khai in you'd let her in anyway Additionally she mentions briefly the "shit talking" I did about her around 0:34 and shows screenshots (i'll show them below but in higher quality + more context bc she paints em in a certain way with how they're displayed

For this one I was talking about how she was treating me throughout surgery, not shit-talking to shit talk

Again, this isn't shit-talking, this is me being upset she was treating me like caca

THESE aren't shit talking either, sure they may have been rudely worded but the context of this was when kiwi, another friend, Mel, and I were all playing monopoly and Mel had been being really mean to everyone else involved and pushing everyone's boundaries (not in the "monopoly divides friendships" trope way either)

Now this one is definitely fair, it was worded quite immaturely/meanspirited but I was just being honest with Khai at the time, Mel would constantly shit-talk about Khai to me :/

#1 is fair TO AN EXTENT, she took what I'd said as some deep dark threat, I was extremely upset at the time and DID INDEED have alot of things she'd done bottled up for her, and to me it had felt extremely unfair that I'd kept shit secret and had THAT much care for her and her career to lie for her only for her not to give less of a shit about me when I needed her, additionally I was also in the middle of a long bpd episode fueled by stress, the surgery, narcotics, and general mental illness. She took this and tried to frame it as me "blackmailing" her. Not to whip out definitions but-

By definition, blackmail is basically when you hold information above someone's head as a threat to get something else either OUT of them or force them to do something for you. This was NOT blackmail, if ANYTHING it would count as a threat, but I didn't even say this directly to her so I'm just??? For that second set of screenshots I was definitely being an ass about her, but again, all of this was out of frustration of how I WAS BEING TREATED by her All in all, all of these screenshots are WILDLY cropped and get rid of other bits of context that are honestly pretty important when viewing Moving on to the next point

She mentions how the "whole grooming thing mainly comes from the Just Dance VR video I did with Khai" this is not true and you know it! I guess she's just ignoring this whole stream

ADDITIONALLY, she mentions that I "was just mad that Kai's character looked similar to voided character because they were both blue and had antenna" no, this is not why I was upset. Sure, I was uncomfortable with the two characters looking the same, and WHEN Kaia was made initially, it was during a point of time when Khai was at her peak for copying pretty much everything I'd do, down to ocs, artstyle, ways I spoke, etc. (she doesn't do this anymore so this absolutely is not to shame her <3) It made me uncomfortable knowing that Kaia was 1. based off of Iris 2. was drawn EERILY similar to how Mel drew Iris before (even to the point where when I'd ask other people to spot who's who THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TELL) 3. The character that looked like Iris was now being shipped with the EXACT SAME one she was etc. all of those together, coupled with the apparent special treatment Khai was being given made me extremely uncomfortable, and worried. My primary concern was NOT the fact Kaia looked like Iris, its the fact she was clearly being used to fill the space where Iris USED TO BE, and was using Khai as a sort of replacement for me. Next. I think its loony that Mel is complaining about people thinking she's still obsessed with her ex as if there isn't REASONS we all think this, you redesign their characters to use as your own, flat out have stolen a couple, talk about them ALL the time in private, the first thing people get to know about you is how much you fucking hate your ex, theres the whole Honest video, the shit-posts about them, etc. There's other things I'll mention at a later date once they're public additionally. She also mentions how the "characters arent even alike anymore" but they really are still the same characters but in a different font. Not to mention the fact you've recently literally stolen 2 characters (Bronze and Frostbite) which were never yours to begin with. wild At 10:47 she says she's surprised people are shocked when she vents about her EX, OFC they are. It's been what 7 years? since yall first dated, and ANOTHER 2 years for you to move on, at least publicly. People are upset you still SHOW people these vents then rant, rave, and shittalk them as if they're still here actively doing you harm, you wish DEATH upon them to this day, aswell as any other people who wrong you. There's a difference between venting to get out feelings and venting to ""cope"" with your ex not liking you anymore and then showing these vents to people around you. The fact they were your "first love" doesn't excuse anything either. "im not friends with any minors" Highly doubt this, only reason you aren't now is because they all left you Around 12:51 she touches on the fact she's shit-talked people in her server, and possibly her friends aswell. She blames this on her old friends and people around her, while this is partially true, there have been MANY instances where she was NOT influenced or told to make fun of these people, i've shown these before but I'll show them again Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it

Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it pt.2

you get it

more

As you can see in these screenshots she's actively making fun of fanart just RANDOMLY, every single screenshot is from a different time aswell. so this behavior was ISOLATED and un-influenced at that moment. Pretty much everything past 14:30 is just her going on a weird ego stroking powertrip about people speaking out about her, you can SMELL the stick rammed up her ass just from her tone alone, she doesn't care, she never will. All yall praising her for this "response" are honestly pretty crazy and your standards are BELOW the floor atp, the glazing is insane ☹️like be so so real, she doesn't even TALK in a serious manner in the video, she starts it off by YELLING Anyway this ENTIRE video was a nothingburger, she proves nothing, she disproves nothing, there's absolutely nothing new brought to to table. Just 17 minutes of excuses, lies, and "nuh uh" Also to anon, I agree 100% she should've posted this on main even if it was absolute dog water, I dont care if you're family watches your videos, the thrusting furrys and suggestive videos were fine but the one supposedly "clearing your name" was too much, awesome Sorry about the formatting being bad, I'm tired of this girl

[liquidorcard]

Okay, I need context— WHAT did Mikaila trace??

I think she's traced a few things. I kinda thought this was common knowledge she does this, lol.

But the example I saw was a frame of clay face from the Harly Quinn show?

I thought Essence of Thought drew this one, but maybe it was Mikaila? I don't know.

Tracing discourse is more of an art hobbiest thing. Not really something people who do it for a living worry about. The issue with tracing is that if you do it instead of learning anatomy, rendering, the design fundamentals, etc-- you're just never going to improve.

But like, if you're working as an illustrator, animator, graphic designer, concept artist, etc. You need to know these things.

Photobashing is a very useful skill when you're a professional artist. It's basically like, high skill tracing, where you're rendering directly over/incorpating reference directly into your image. Here's an example, this concept art for Resident Evil Village is photobashed, and that's pretty industry standard:

You can see the photographed elements have been integrated directly into the painted elements.

There are deadlines to be met, prints to go out, and finals to get delivered. Especially with concept art, that's just preproduction stuff, it's really not the time to lovingly render every single aspect of something you're client or project manager's going to make you redo 3 million times, if not totally scrap to go in a different direction.

Photobashing is a cheat you need to have all the skills required to render, paint or draw something properly already to do right though. You need to be able to match lighting, perspective, scale, etc. Or else you'll get fired for being incompetent and handing in something that looks like a bad photoshop job.

I wouldn't photobash while I'm painting on my own personal time because, like, why am I painting just for fun at all at that point, but. It does take longer, however.

Doing figure drawing exercises and studies are also really important to keep your abilities sharp-- it's like an art workout. Tracing or photobashing those defeats the purpose.

Honestly, I really don't care if hobbiests trace personally. If they get that they won't improve and they're okay with it, who am I to poopoo on what they do for fun?

Mikaila charges way too much for her commissions given her skill level, but. Like, you can just tell Mikaila is very limited in her abilities, so . . . You know, it's not really false advertising? It's hard to fake being a better artist than you are, lol. You'd have to be stealing art and impersonate a real artist to do that.

I think hobbiests see tracing as a sort of "stolen valor." And, yeah, it's a little funny to me if Mikaila is in her 30s and trying to hide how she does her work, but. Unless Mikay starts trying to pass someone else's work as her own to scam people, I don't give a shit, personally.

I don't want to bully here in a way I don't think is cool, but like, look at this. Look at the mismatched perspectives, anatomy and styalization. I'm kind of shocked anyone can't tell this is all traced:

[peapodsinspace]

Hey y’all I’m here talking about misusing alt texts again

I made a post like this a while ago, but I can’t find it to reblog so I’m just making a new one

Basically, I’m just wanting to talk about how some people (and I’m not talking about anyone in particular here) use the alt text feature for things that don’t include image descriptions.

For anyone who doesn’t know, an alt text is an accessibility tool used to give a description of an image. It benefits lots of people, including visually impaired people.

They’re also handy, because they can make hard to parse images more clear, or describe audio in videos for people who can’t hear it, among other things.

That includes folks who just don’t have their sound on, too! Also if your internet is patchy and and an image won’t load you can read an alt text to get an idea of what the image is about!

Basically, they’re very handy!

Now, alt texts & image descriptions are an optional thing you can add to posts, and I’m not trying to pressure people into making them! I just want to talk mainly about misusing the feature!

(Bold talk for a girl who just spend several paragraphs talking about other stuff)

Anyway, onto my main point:

What the alt text feature is not used for is adding extra commentary.

I see people just putting random things in alt texts somewhat often, and it always annoys me a bit.

By adding an alt text that isn’t a description, you’re making it more unclear to people who need them.

And you’re making your commentary less easy to find by putting it in the alt text, but that doesn’t really matter.

And no hate to anyone who does this! I’m just trying to explain that it’s maybe not the best thing to do.

If anyone is interested in making image descriptions for their posts, it isn’t too hard! You don’t have to do anything crazy. A simple description is always better than none at all.

You can be as detailed as you like, but keep in mind that this isn’t creative writing practice, so try not to get too convoluted. (With the exception of descriptions of art, because it can be much more subjective)

You’ll just want to describe the main points of the image. This may include:

-the subject(s) of the image

-text or lettering

-details relevant to the post*

-and lots of other things, depending on the context

* an example of this would be something that adds to the punchline of a joke. Like, if an image is a cat with a funny shocked expression, then you’d want to make sure to mention the cat’s expression, since that’s the important part of the image.

Instead of “a tabby cat sitting down” you’d want to say “a tabby cat with a surprised expression”, if that makes sense

Anyway, that’s all i had to say! Feel free to send me asks about this if you have questions. I will answer them to the best of my abilities :]

Also, I don’t claim to be an expert on writing image descriptions, I just make them for my posts almost always

Also also, thanks for reading my long post!

[betterbemeta]

Hi hello and welcome people who like the fat girl vampire post!

I made it 8 years ago in response to having graduated a while earlier, as I struggled to actually get jobs with my shiny new degree.

I rarely presented femme in my life before I had to dress up for interviews, and for in-person work. I was always 'kind of terrible at it', partially because I have always been fat and that interferes with 'doing girl correctly' to a lot of our society.

Having to work as an adult likely contributes to being fatter than my previous norm, which was maintained despite walking miles between school and home, biking at college, etc.

I wrote the fat girl vampire post, thinking that the things that fat women often deal with (intersection of fatphobia and misogyny?), have to do with presence and absence. Vampires, when the trope isn't discussing class (?) also are often about presence and absence:

A fat girl is not invited to parties or events because she is pushed away from society in favor of those who are seen as just a bit more human. A vampire can't enter your house unless invited; they lack the social agency of a living person.

A fat girl is not photographed because someone does not like how she'll look in a group. Or she is covertly photographed to humiliate over how much space she takes up in public. A vampire can't be photographed because they are dead, their image can't be captured, they aren't 'there', or they do not have a soul to capture on a silver exposure plate. And yet their absence from the photograph is jarring, their 'space' they take up is obvious.

A fat girl is terrorized into avoiding mirrors, a vampire avoids mirrors.

etc.

Although I enjoy many feminine fashions and took away a lot of knowledge from that part of my life, I began experiencing a strange alienation when I would 'dress up,' as if I was in costume or in disguise. Some of this was probably due to the artificiality of it all. I only 'needed' to wear more feminine things to go to work, which is the means to an end of Get Money. But I also bought and wore things I genuinely liked, that weren't completely for the work type of costume. So that wasn't the end of it.

I reasonably considered, most women don't feel like they are assuming a form, or are in costume, when they present in public. This stuff clued me in to identifying as agender, and nonbinary. I wonder if I had been a skinny child, if I would feel the same way. Or would being given a 'full life' as a woman instead of a 'half life,' have conditioned me differently?

Because our world really doesn't know what to do with agender people, I still most frequently 'assume the form of' a woman for social reasons, and I can even enjoy it... in the way you can enjoy wearing a costume sometimes. I can't say I am no longer connected to 'womanhood' even if I definitely do not have a cisnormative relationship with it.

It's interesting to me to see that ancient post circulating now, with an artist's work attached to it. I love the artwork, and I adore the artist's work and size inclusive clothing shop. In context to my specific experience though, I find it funny that the fat girl vampire is pictured to be so effortlessly feminine in her existence. She's as close to the default as she can be and still be seen to be fat. She has 'assumed the form', too...

[maniculum]

scorpion in the 'buch der natur' by konrad von megenberg, alsace, c. 1440 (Stuttgart, Landesbibl., Cod. med. et phys. 2° 14, fol. 243v). interesting detail: the german text starts with the typical description of the scorpion as a snake with a pretty woman's face. over this passage, somebody added in latin: "non est ita" = "it's not like that". lmaoo. a paradigm shift. to ME

[Image ID: an arthropod with some odd tripartite mouthparts, a sort of neck raising its head from a beetle-like body, eight legs that end in pincers, a row of nodules along its back, and a fishhook-like tail. It is shown in an outdoor scene that makes it look gigantic.]

(Sorry for the delay on this. I've had deadlines keeping me busy, but they're done now and I'm trying to catch up on various things that fell by the wayside.)

Some remarkable stuff here. I absolutely love someone writing "it's not like that" over the description, and I really have to wonder (not that an answer is likely forthcoming) about the context. On one hand, the idea that someone is just straight-up (correctly) disputing the claim that a scorpion is a serpent with a woman's face is pretty funny. On the other hand, I also like the idea that this comment is meant to be juxtaposed with the illustration: "hey, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the giant rampaging monster you've drawn here does not have a woman's face. it's not like that."

Also, I know the scale is often not meant to be representative in these illustrations, but wow that's a big scorpion. We're back to prehistoric vibes, but this time our scorpion looks more like an actual dinosaur than any other thing I can think of. I suppose that's just my only referent for an armored creature of that size. It looks like it's a serious challenge for 4-6 mid-level adventurers.

No idea what's going on with those mouthparts, also. They need to be acknowledged, but I don't know what to say about them.

Anyway, points:

Small Scuttling Beaſtie? ½, definitely looks like it scuttles but is not small in the least

Pincers? eight on the ends of its legs rather than as a separate pair of limbs, but sure, ✓

Exoskeleton or Shell? ✓

Visible Stinger? ✓

Limbs? 8

As for vibes, I am enjoying this one. I don't want it to be near me, but it has a certain majesty when observed from a distance. Like this:

Yeah, we're still on the dinosaur comparison. 4 / 5.

And that means that this is officially the Best Scorpion So Far, coming in at a total score of:

8.3 / 10

Our bestiary illustrator was so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should. (They absolutely should.)

[wobster109]

What are Aventurine and Dr. Ratio to each other, anyway?

Spoilers be ahead!

There are a handful of clues in their first on-screen interaction:

Ratio: Without that Aventurine stone, you're nothing more than a doomed Sigonian thrall sentenced to die by the IPC. Or is that serial number on your neck a cherished memento from the Amber Lord? Aventurine: Hah, you're funny. I'll give you that! It appears our erudite friend has done his homework.

A couple things to note. First, Ratio has dug up some info on Aventurine's background, and Aventurine was not the one who told him ("done his homework"). It seems to be their first time working closely together. Ratio has "done his homework" now and not sooner, and he has a fastidious nature: if they'd worked together before, he would've looked into Aventurine's background then. I would guess that they have met, but have not worked closely before.

And yet, they seem to speak rather familiarly with each other. Aventurine tells Ratio to look into Acheron almost casually, not like his interactions with Himeko or Trailblazer where he lays the groundwork for a debt owed, and trades on that for assistance. For his part, Ratio is his usual blunt, insulting self. "Peacock-esque". "Some idiot". I don't know what a "thrall" is but it can't be anything good. (But that's consistent for him. It's not too different from how he talks to Trailblazer.)

If this is one of their first meetings, then where—and when—does this come from?

"You don't believe me?" / "Life is a grand gamble, and I'll always be the final victor."

One thing that's always puzzled me about this image, story, whole situation: if that really is Ratio holding the gun, why does he give in? It's implied in the light cone that whatever Aventurine's asking for here, he gets his way. But isn't that odd for a fellow like Ratio, who tells you not to ask questions if you don't need the answer?

Imagine, devoid of context, that someone has tried to convince Ratio by shooting themselves 3 times. Wouldn't Ratio be unmoved and unimpressed? Wouldn't he simply say "You fool!" and walk out?

And for his part, Aventurine is no fool. One doesn't become P45 in the IPC by sheer luck. He's said to have "won a gamble against fate itself", and that doesn't happen by luck alone. He wouldn't risk his life for nothing. Either what he stood to gain (Ratio's cooperation) was worth that much. . . or he had nothing to lose. And how can losing his life be considered "nothing"?

I believe that the light cone shows when he convinced Ratio to be his technical consultant on Penacony. It goes back to "doomed Sigonian thrall sentenced to die". All along, I've been interpreting that light cone as "Look how fortune favors me". . . but that's not it at all.

It's "Without your help, I'm as good as dead." Both literally and metaphorically— "My life is in your hands."

The light cone story begins with "You don't believe me?" That's why Ratio agrees. I believe you now.