#more aroace angst

[hi-cassiel]

So glad I don’t have a therapist because having to explain to a therapist why I’m devastated that my best friend got a boyfriend would probably send me into therapy

[deer-with-a-stick]

Me, going through the romance options: Lae'zel is hot, I'll try it out. Ooh, Karlach has a great personality I love her. Shadowheart's got some issues but she's grown on me. Wyll is interesting because I feel like I don't see characters like him that often. Astarion's got plenty of angst, I like it. I'm curious as to how Halsin's bear form would work...ugh how do I choose.

Gale, eating my boots and infodumping about his cat: Do you have a good place where I can die so that I won't murder innocents I'd appreciate it

Me: I want that one

[ddejay18]

Jason Todd AK sketches I made bc I've become obsessed with the Arkhamverse recently.

(I'm not as happy with the second one but might as well throw it in here)

Ref below line >:þ

Lmao

[stiffyck]

Okay what if the winners got to meet previous versions of themselves through the life games.

Like grian meets no one. He didn't have any previous "versions".

Scott meets 3rd life Scott.

Pearl meets 3rd life and last life pearl.

Martyn meets 3rd life, last life and double life Martyn.

Scar meets 3rd life, last life, double life and lim life him-

This whole thing was an idea that I got just because I was thinking about ll and sl scar because they were both so lonely like wtf and I just though about a scene that would be so. Grips chair.

Ll: "We won?"

Sl: "Yeah"

Ll: "Did we have allies? Friends?"

Ll scar probably thinks sl scar won only because he had allies to support him. He knows what its like being lonely and he hopes no one has to go through that loneliness. And he wants to be optimistic for once that sl scar, future him, gets allies, gets friends.

He tries to hope and then he sees the look on sl scars face. Or maybe sl scar tries to lie- maybe he tries to say they had allies.

Ll scar sees right through him. He's him after all. Maybe he's always gonna he lonely anyway

[thefirstpaleontologist]

ok I just had a really fun hazbin hotel au idea

what if Lillith had dumped Charlie with Alastor before she fucked off to heaven, resulting in Alastor ‘raising’ (I use that term loosely) her for the 7 years leading up to season 1?

Edit: did a redraw of that first scene!!

[feli-052]

Love struggles

[wonder-and-wildflowers]

I love being aroace, but I desperately need friends who will prioritize me and won't make me their second choice without it turning into them having a crush on me.

Being pushed aside for a romantic partner hurts. Being less of a priority to someome I've known for YEARS than someone they've known for like 3 months is DEVASTATING.

Having a friendship with someone who prioritizies me and puts me first and is intentional about the effort and time they put in is all I want. And call me selfish but I want them to do it without falling in love with me.

I want them to do it platonically. Or alterously.

And you know what? I'm sick of people having crushes on me. I'm sick of friends building an entire relationship with me just to come out and say they only did it cause they wanted to kiss me. Or fuck me. Or both.

And then they get angry because I don't see them that way. They get resentful because they acted like thidls and behaved this way with the intention of is being a romantic investment.

And now I have to deal with the emotional distress of having someone pour so much into me, love me, prioritize me, doing a complete 180. And them resenting me for being upset that their behavior towards me has changed.

Them being resentful that I still expect thier usual behavior, because to me those were stardards for a platonic relationship that they set with me, and to them it was all a ploy to get me to be their girlfriend. They don't want a qpr. Thats never good enough for them.

[mauveberries]

this is so weird but like. i like bellamort, alright. i like them a lot. but as soon as someone starts talking about them wayyy tooo much i start getting an ick. 😭😭 like idek why, i can't explain it. maybe it's because i find their dynamics a bit boring? idk.

[crtstormie]

I haven’t been able to post a lot this week because I’m reading a certain Radiostatic fanfic 🙃🙃 (aka the one that’s like 1,500 pages long)

But ofc I still come to feed after my previous month long break so here’s a WIP of Vox as Tv girl :3

Program reveal if you already didn’t know I worked in ibis woahhh

[kingdomoftyto]

The funniest thing about Billford as a ship to me is that there is a competing ship that is objectively better by almost every metric, but most of us are insane and gravitate to the fucked up mess of red flags that is Bill because the story there is simply more narratively interesting.

Make no mistake; I ship Billford hard and will continue devouring fic of it for a while yet, but I also feel it's worth acknowledging that I fully endorse Ford's Perfect True Ending romance being with Fidds.

[liquid-queer]

I write things like this:) aroace Dazai angst<3333

[hi-cassiel]

Their naked bodies have no affect

On my disease riddled head

In my mind I’ve fallen

Head over heels with boys

Who do not exist

In my mind

They kiss my neck

and I melt into wordless bliss

Oh it is heaven on earth

Atleast

That is what they say

To love, to be loved

It Is the only way to be sane

And I could

In theory

Somewhere in the back of my mind

With a boy

Who does not exist

Love and be loved

His hand in mine

I would smile and mutter words

Words that light up

His whole life

But he is buried

Somewhere

Deep in the depths of my mind,

If you try hard enough

Can you change

Your own mind?

[angelscorpses]

when we're talking about shipping but they end up bringing in some romantic shit; what shipping mostly consists of

[twicethetrouble]

Writing Family Web Daily: Day 7 (1 week! woot!)

April looked at the x-rays, though Leo wasn’t sure exactly how much she picked up from it. Despite his pain, Donnie seemed to be squinting at the screen as well.

“Since the bridge isn’t making space, the arms are trying to make their own space. Like…like an animal hatching from an egg. But the bridge is tougher than an egg shell and the arms are still in development. So it’s taking forever and it’s causing a lot of pain. From both the arms and the bridge. I should have figured this out ages ago. Or at least thought giving him an x-ray earlier.”

“What’s done is done,” April said firmly before he could continue this line of thought. “What if’s aren’t going to help Donnie right now.”

“I know,” Leo said taking another breathe.

“So, what do we do? How do we help him?”

“I don’t know,” Leo answered after a moment, digging his nails into his scalp since he had no bandanna to pull at right now. “This isn’t in any of the medical textbooks I read, Apps. This is all new territory. New, terrifying territory. Territory we shouldn’t even be in because it’s impossible but apparently mystics exist and make everything possible. Including developing limbs in such a way that it causes severe pain and risks deforming those same limbs as it does.

“I just…cut short of removing the bridge pieces it’s affecting, I don’t know. But even that’s-”

“Do it,” Donnie signed, letting go of the hoodie long enough to fingerspell it. Leo’s blood ran cold as his heart felt like it was trying to leap into his throat. No, Donnie couldn’t be asking him that. He couldn’t know what he was asking.

“I can’t,” Leo answers, words barely making it past the lump in his throat. “That’s a last-ditch effort. If everything else fails type of thing.”

“Do. It,” he repeated, spelling it out more pointedly.

“No. I can’t. I-”

“Doitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdoitdo-”

“No!” Leo snapped, interrupting the increasingly messy fingerspelling. “That’s not- that’s not just something I can do! That’s rudimentary surgery. Fucking surgery, Dee. Even if I had experience in that, which I don’t, we don’t have the supplies I’d need. Hell, I don’t even have anesthesia or anything to put you under.”

[yuridovewing]

thinking…

[cloudwhisper23]

bestie do you have a favorite Mike angst headcanon that you've written (or just come up with but not yet incorporated into a fic)?

A favorite Mike angst headcanon? Hmm. I don't have a particular one that I always go to (besides the obvious mess that is how Mike reacts to Evan's bite).

Although, in my New Body AU, I've thought a lot about different ways to provide angst to Michael's character, like making sure he's thoroughly traumatized by every incident happening in Freddy's once Evan gets bit. A kid goes missing? Mike somehow makes it his fault. A security guard is murdered by the animatronics? Mike's fault.

The bite is quite a mess in this AU, actually. Mike was being constantly bullied into doing whatever these other kids wanted (not to mention the abuse he takes from his mother), and so when Fredbear bites down, Mike does everything in his power to get his brother out alive. He succeeds, but there's that lasting guilt as he sits in his hospital bed. His father is in and out, checking on him before going to sit with Evan, and Elizabeth seems almost excited that he nearly killed Evan. It doesn't sit well, and things get worse when he actually gets home.

This is the AU where Mike murders his mom, and since that happens within the same month as the actual bite, Mike really starts to believe that he's a monster. He nearly killed his brother, and he quite literally caused his mother to fall and die, so his belief is well-reasoned at this point. And his best friend is nowhere to be found (courtesy of the fact that she died three years prior and is currently being rebuilt by his father and Henry), so she can't comfort him.

Mike has nightmares about every member of his family dying from now on. He sees Evan's limp corpse on the floor of that show stage, unmoving no matter how hard Mike cries. He sees the broken body of his father on the kitchen floor, having fallen because Mike forgot to clean up some kind of mess. He sees Elizabeth, dead at the bottom of the first floor stairs because he'd jokingly pushed her, and she was too small to catch herself (Mike is 8 years older than Elizabeth in this AU).

When the children start going missing, Mike sees their corpses in his mind too. He gets this idea that he should've prevented it, believing that everything was his fault. When the security guards start dying, Mike assumes they're taking the job too seriously, and they're going after the kidnapper, but something gets in the way. Mike irrationally believes that everything is his fault.

When Jeremy gets bit, it takes a big toll on him. Mike feels guilty for not being there, instead out celebrating Evan's 15th birthday. He suspects that someone tampered with the animatronics during that week he was gone, and he can't prove it. Scott gives him an employee to train, and he tells Mike to get over it. There was nothing he could've done. Mike doesn't believe that, so he carries on.

The location finally closes, and Mike spends most of his spare time at the hospital with Jeremy, guilty about the fact that the poor man lost an eye to Chica. He'll live, sure, but just like Evan, Mike can't let it go.

He contemplates dying constantly, and Evan's the only one who ever seems to get through to him. Evan's not mad about the bite. He knows it was an accident, and nothing would've happened (in his mind anyway. Oops, added Evan angst) if he had just trusted Mike to get him out again. Sure, it would've been terrifying, but Evan had deactivated the safety lever and gotten water into Fredbear's jaw, so really he blames himself for panicking.

Evan's nightmares have evolved during this time, and he can rarely sleep without someone else in the room anymore. Mike still feels guilty, and he's the one who stays with Evan during those nightmares. Their father has gone missing by this point, and Mike decides that the only things that matter now are his younger siblings.

When Freddy's reopens, Mike is livid. He still has a job with the company, and he works his night shifts the same way, except there's an added issue. Scott says the Classic animatronics are more sensitive than even the Toys had been, so Mike makes sure to get to work half an hour before his shift, to get Cassidy out of the building before midnight.

He ends up faking his death one night after the animatronics can't quite seem to kill him. Cassidy had been locked in there with him, and the animatronics got much more murderous for some odd reason (more on that when I write more of the actual excerpts). Mike vanishes with only a torn uniform and a massive pool of blood to indicate that he'd even gone to work that night.

He believes it's for the best that everyone thinks he's dead.

Now, this whole thing is getting really long (sorry about the long rambling about the New Body AU), so I'm just going to outright say it. One of Mike's worst nightmares comes true when he ends up trying to stop the murders at Freddy's. Permanently. Evan turns out to be the one member of his family that he did not kill, and it nearly destroys him.

To properly answer your question, I love to give Michael extreme guilt after Evan's bite. I don't always let Evan live (in fact I usually don't), but even in cases where it's not Mike's fault, he still blames himself. Michael always turns himself into that self-sacrificing guy who'd do anything for his remaining family and the missing kids. Until he realizes the true horrors of what his father does, that is. Maybe someday I'll explore the possibility of Mike specifically becoming a killer like his father, but who knows? The uneasy alliance with the missing kids to make sure nobody dies again (besides himself, of course), has so much angst potential, especially when I add Cassidy into the mix. She's my stand-in, since I always fail to write siblings that cannot forgive each other for anything.