#moon fic: maybe i'm weak
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sadly no writing was done today because of responsibilities, but have a bit of a wip wednesday, taken from chapter 3 of my fic maybe i'm weak because you let me be:
Wednesday leans forward, hand shooting out to latch onto Enid’s, sucking in a breath through her teeth as everything starts to spin. She holds herself very still to let the dizziness pass, closing her eyes and seething silently. “Wends? You okay? We can go back if we need to.” A few slow, deep breaths. “I’m fine.” “Are you–” “I’m fine,” Wednesday insists sharply. She’s just so tired, a deep weariness and ache that frays at the edges of her ironclad control, making it slip through her fingers like bonedust. And it makes her vulnerable, makes her weak. She can almost feel the weight of Enid’s stare on the side of her face. She turns and opens her eyes to Enid giving her a look, clearly not believing her.
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There are things I have to do. Dreams I need to see to fruition. That's why I became the Alliance leader to begin with, actually. But it left me no time for what I was really after.
(Claude in The Golden Deer's Plea - Azure Moon)
this is actually a drawing for my fic, golden dawn. it's a painting i have been working on for years now (on and off, trying to find solutions to give life to the idea i had in my mind). but i think it fits very well with canon and claude feeling that he's not getting any closer to his dreams and maybe it's time to fall back. i'm glad i got to finish this for claude's bday!
the actual fic scene (which is a bit more angsty) is below:
As soon as Claude saw himself alone, he released the quill he was holding, making it leave splotches of ink all over the paper. His hands were trembling, his legs felt weak. He knelt down and, when that wasn’t enough, he staggered sideways until he was lying over the ancient rug that had probably been there before his mother had even been born.
For a long time, he only observed its intricate pattern. He used to do that when he was a small boy. He would lie on his belly over one of his home’s elaborate rugs and try to guess the story it told.
Claude could see him clearly: an arrogant lonely boy waiting for time to pass.
He didn’t want to be that boy anymore.
‘If Byleth were here, she would make things right again.’
(Golden Dawn, Chapter 45: Wind - Duke Riegan)
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Mattheo Riddle headcanons
masterlist ko-fi ao3
Summary: what is it like dating Mattheo
Word count: 1.5k
Warnings: fluff, no mention of y/n, you can be in any house, spicy content under the warning
Author’s note: For all my Bucky fanfic readers, I'm sorry that I haven’t posted in almost a month. This December is just too overwhelming, and every time I tried to finish my fic, it felt like I was wasting my time. I literally just miss the ending, and I hope to finish it as soon as possible.
For my possible new followers and/or HP stans, Mattheo is my current obsession, and I’m literally head over heels for him. And you know what they say: if you can’t find a fanfic that you like, write it yourself. So yeah, I'm trying something new, and I have a few ideas that are poisoning my head every single minute lmao.
sorry if there are any mistakes. hope you’ll like it💘🎀
Mattheo was never that much of a playboy because he didn’t like to share his space and, well, communicate with people in general
Due to his family, he was really reserved and refused to be weak
You weren’t that popular in school, so he had never really noticed you but one day, you suddenly started hanging out with Pansy and he could not get you out of his head anymore
He hated it
He hated that you occupied all of his thoughts for at least a few weeks
Tried to ignore his feelings for you as long as possible, but from the moment you two had to work together on the project, everything went downhill
He was scared to ask you out, not ready to be rejected by the only person he genuinely liked and thinking that maybe you secretly hated him like everyone else
At the beginning of the relationship, Mattheo told you that sometimes he might get cold and distant, but it wasn’t your fault and that you should just give him some time
Mattheo is romantic and for his favorite girl, he always arranged the best dates
He was nervous to kiss you after the first date when he walked you to your dorm
Little did he know, but that sexy smirk and the way he looked at you all night drove you insane
So you just pulled him by the tie, connecting your lips
Since then, Mattheo has been addicted to you
Hands are always on you, holding your hand, your waist or your thighs
Looks at you as if you hung the moon and the stars
He kisses you in front of everyone to make sure that they know that you are his, and he is yours
Likes to pull into into his lap while he’s talking with his friends in the common room
Holding you close, slowly strokes your arms or your back, unable to keep his hands away from you
Whispers sweet nothings
Loves your smell and always buries his nose into your hair
He wears rings and allows you to steal them
His hoodies and t-shirts too
Secretly likes to be little spoon or lay on your chest while your hands are playing with his curls
Buys you everything you might possibly like, even though you always tell him to stop spending his money on you
Likes to study with you because you can actually get ready for the lessons while he has another opportunity to stare at you
So overprotective and always snaps back at people who, even in the slightest way, disrespect you
He never lets you go to the parties alone in case some creepy guys decide to hit on you
Possesive
When you’re wearing revealing clothes, one part of him is proud and wants to brag that his girlfriend is the sexiest woman on the planet, but the other part wants to cover you with big blanket and keep you to himself
Always sarcastic and sassy
Fights a lot
He had never gone to the medical wing because he wasn’t used to asking for help, but since you started dating, he let you heal his wound
Loves when you scold him for those fights, just because you look so cute when you’re angry and he has an excuse to kiss and spoil you
He has anger issues, but he has never raised his voice at you
Actually, you are like a sedative to him because only you can calm him down in a matter of seconds
Will never make you feel uncomfortable or insecure
You don’t like something or someone? Mattheo will make sure to get you out of the room and won’t let that person come near you ever again
The way you call him “Matty” turns him into a literal puddle
Can’t sleep without you in his arms
spicy
During your first time, he was super attentive and always checked whether you were okay or not
Praises. A lot of fucking praises
“You’re taking me so good, my love”, “you look so pretty when you cum around me.”
He likes every position, but prefers when he can see your face
There is literally not a single place in his dorm where you two haven’t had sex
Gets turned on literally by everything you do
He’s risky. As soon as he finds out that you actually liked it, he always teases you under the table, pulls you into the storage rooms, and talks dirty while there are a lot of people around
Got you two in detention a few times for getting caught kissing at night by Snape (you were lucky that he caught you before Mattheo’s hands slipped under your skirt)
His personal favorite is sex in the astronomy tower. The way you’re trying to hold back your moans drives him crazy
Also bathtub in the prefects’ bathroom, where you love to sit with him deep inside of you
He usually dominates, but sometimes likes to let you be in charge and see how you ride him
He has a big appetite, and what is the best way to deal with it? Right, you.
Mattheo would’ve spent hours in between your legs if you allowed him
He never asks for anything in return, but still seeing you on your knees for him is a fucking miracle
Your hair are around his hand, while you’re taking as much of him in your mouth as you can
Eye contact
He’s willing to try in bed anything that you want, except things that might get you hurt
He likes to keep his hand on your neck while he’s thrusting into you but never actually squeezes
Can be rough and fast or really gentle and slow, depending on the mood
After someone pisses him off or if you had a small fight, he always fucks you into the bed with your hands pinned above you until you’re literally crying from pleasure
By the way, when you don’t have time to put a spell on the room, it gives him satisfaction to know that everyone hears the way you moan for him
He always makes sure that you came, and if you didn’t, he’s more than happy to go down on you
Love confessions
Aftercare is a must
Hugs, kisses, food, baths—anything you might want
He always keeps you close until you fall asleep and then just stares at you, wondering how he could be so happy to have you
#slytherin boys#harry potter fanfiction#mattheo riddle x reader#mattheo riddle#mattheo x you#mattheoxreader#mattheo x y/n#mattheo riddle headcanon#mattheo riddle fanfic
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Ace’s Type
Summary: A collection of random headcanons describing Ace's type
Genre: Fluff
CW: None // SFW
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Someone who knows what it's like to be a freak, to be cast out from society. (I'm imagining him with a girl from Skypiea with cute little wings, maybe even antennae, who was treated much like a mermaid and hunted for her unusual appearance and was maybe rescued by Ace; might need to write a fic about this.)
Due to a childhood crush on a certain barmaid, low-key has a thing for green-haired women. It isn’t essential, but if a woman has green hair, she possesses a unique ability to turn him into a blushing mess, which he finds annoying considering he so quickly grew accustomed to turning them into blushing messes. Will fight anyone who teases him about his green hair weakness as it’s actually something of a sensitive topic for him. (Even had the slightest crush on Zoro when he met the Straw Hats for the first time, wouldn't have initiated anything with the swordsman but wouldn't have turned him down, either.)
The most important thing for Ace is freedom, would have to be with someone who values it just as highly as he does (not just for him, but for themselves, too). Could easily be a one girl kind of guy (trust issues, wants something constant, steady, and dependable) but doesn’t want to settle down with that person. Rather, wants that person to run around the world with him. If you want to stay home and wait for him to come back, fine, but he'd prefer you go with him.
Someone who has a way with words. He doesn’t, so he’d think of your ability to put words to thoughts and feelings he’s had his entire life as some form of magic.
Someone who thinks he hung the moon. He won’t understand why you think that, but your starry-eyed devotion to him will awaken something in him. Someone who giggles at his dumb jokes, who stands in awe and says, “whoah, cool,” when he shows off a new move, who lights up when he enters the room. Someone who thinks it’s cute when he swoops in and steals food off their plate, who will playfully punch his arm, someone who laughs when he throws them over his shoulder. Someone with a youthful energy.
But the youthful energy can't veer into immaturity. He wants and needs someone wise beyond their years, maybe even an old soul, someone who counsels him against acting rashly without nagging him to stop taking risks entirely. Someone who understands he's a risk taker and has measured criticism of that rather than a complete opposition to it.
Someone who understands that he struggles with emotional vulnerability and will meet him where he is. Also, someone who applauds him when he does put himself out there, someone who will never judge him for his feelings or reject his attempts at connecting. Someone who has very high emotional intelligence.
He secretly, desperately craves the softness he never got in his childhood. Being cradled as he sleeps, having his hair brushed off his forehead, having food prepared and served for him, someone fussing over his little scrapes and cuts, etcetera.
Sweet. Wants someone who smiles/lights up when they see him, who says please and thank you for every little thing. Someone with very good manners and a singsong voice like Makino. Someone tough enough to negotiate for and take up space aboard a pirate ship, but without being callous and cold. Someone soft and warm, who doesn’t let the ugliness of the world get under their skin and is optimistic about the future- not just their own future, but his future, too.
Someone very observant. He has a lot of trauma and baggage that he never talks about, and he would fall head over heels for someone who can read between the lines.
That being said, someone on the quieter side. Doesn’t want to be constantly asked if he’s okay, but wants someone who will notice he’s not and find a way to help him through it.
Finally, someone who gets flustered when he flirts with them. He takes great pride in his ability to make you blush. If you're the type with cheeks that flush pink, even better.
———
Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!
#one piece#fire fist ace#portgas d ace#ace#ace x reader#whitebeard pirates#spade pirates#one piece makino#ace headcanons#one piece headcanons
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The Sun Also Rises (LMH x F!Reader)
pairing: dancer!Minho x ballerina!reader (afab)
genres/au/rating: smut, fluff, some angst, strangers to lovers, travel au, 18+
summary: sometimes, one night is all it takes to change everything. and that's where Minho meets you.
warnings: pov switches, feelings of burnout and poor mental health discussed, alcohol, swearing, alcohol, kind of a language barrier (Minho can understand but is bad at speaking English), lots of tension, they're literally idiots I can't, Hyunjin being the voice of reason, Kento Yamazaki also makes a cameo (twinnn where have you been)
word count: 8k
a/n: consider this my early bday gift to me (and Minho), since both of our bdays are coming up in October. this is based on the film Before Sunrise. I'm very happy with how this fic turned out, it feels very me, so i hope you enjoy! thank you to Beezy @hobeemin for the lovely banner!
smut warnings under the cut!
smut warnings: sexual tension abound, lots of kissing (too much for two people who just met), grinding, beach sex (be cautious when attempting irl), nipple play, fingering (f!receiving), pull-out method (again be cautious and wrap it before you tap it), cumshot
The night breeze rustles through the trees, and even though it's late, the city teems with life. Whispers can be heard around every corner, the clinking of wine glasses muddled with the sound of laughter. Minho’s stomach rumbles, the warm, spicy scent of paella wafting from somewhere nearby, and he remembers he hasn’t eaten since this morning.
For a brief moment, he misses the food back in Korea – the deep, earthy flavour of a steaming pot of doenjang jjigae from his eomma’s kitchen. He should really call his parents – they’d probably want to know how their son ended up lost and halfway across the world, stumbling through Gracìa on an empty stomach.
To be fair, Minho didn’t even know himself. If he was Hyunjin, he could have said that he was attracted to the abstract, flowing architecture of Gaudì, and he wanted to study it. Maybe if he was Jeongin, he’d point to the numerous shops and boutiques that lined the streets of Barcelona, a fashion lover’s paradise.
But he was Lee Minho – a failed dance school drop-out, kicked out of his own crew because one day, the music had just stopped. And so did he, frozen in the middle of the routine, before he made a break for it and ran. The weak link in the chain. A note slightly out of tune.
The discordance of it all didn’t escape him – being here in such an enchanting city, when inside it felt like he’d stumbled and stumbled until he wasn’t even sure if he’d ever be able to dance again.
And he only had himself to blame.
The streets continue to wind, Minho’s sluggish feet under their spell, going wherever they lead. He remains a prisoner to his thoughts, the sights melding into a blur around him, until suddenly, he hears it. Around the corner.
Music.
And not just any kind – real music. The jovial sound of a live band, so different from the synthetic beats he was used to when it came to choreographing. His feet have a mind of their own, entranced and leading him straight to the source of the sound.
The scene he stumbles into is beyond what he could have imagined for this time of night – under a canopy of twinkling lights, were dancers. Dancers everywhere, twirling and prancing like they were out of a storybook, perfectly in tune with the music.
Minho ducks behind a tree, his foot tapping in sync to the beat, and watches them dance, their toes skipping from right to left as they move back in forth in a circle. It’s beyond captivating, and he longs to join them.
He wonders if they recognize him as one of them, or if he seems like just another plain tourist, happily enjoying the feeling of getting lost in a foreign city.
The circle stalls, the music changing into a slower, more enthralling lilt, to signal the entry of someone new. Minho’s eyebrow quirks when the sea of people parts, the moon’s spotlight now on a solitary figure.
His breath catches in his throat as he spots you – nimble movements a stark contrast to the rustic giddiness of the common crowd. He knows you must be classically trained – movements precise and ethereal, your meticulous form a stark contrast to the fluidity that surrounds you. He’s spellbound with the way you move – a vision of grace, so different from the swift, powerful movements he was used to executing, watching how the music takes hold of you, like you’re a marionette on strings, letting it lead you wherever you need to go.
Time ceases to exist the longer he watches, taken with the elegant lines of your body, a smile pulling at his lips. He’s so lost in his mind that he doesn’t notice when the music stops, until he feels the rustle of a figure next to him.
Minho turns in surprise, and tumbles backwards into the tree.
It’s you. The dancer.
Your doe eyes look up at him in concern, and it’s only then that Minho feels the sharp twang of pain from colliding with the sturdy trunk, rubbing gingerly at his shoulder.
“Are you always this clumsy?” Your lips curve in a lovely grin, and Minho feels his ears grow hot.
“I’m sorry, I’m new here, I didn’t…” he manages to choke out, too drawn in by the way your eyes sparkle with amusement and mischief.
“Sooo, should I call you New Here, or…” you trail off, and Minho pauses, a few silent breaths passing between you before he finally gets it. His name. You were asking for his name.
“Minho.”
“Ah. Minho. I’m ____.”
“You dance well,” Minho manages to blurt out.
The words felt heavy on his tongue, like it’d been ages since he’d talked to someone unfamiliar, too caught up in his comfortable ways. His schedule had been simple. Eat, sleep, dance, repeat. And of course go home to feed the cats. But being here felt like challenging everything he’d known.
“You noticed?” You raise an eyebrow in question, and Minho can tell that you’re wondering whether he’s being genuine or saying it just to say it. You were probably used to it – fleeting tourists who flirted for a brief moment before disappearing into the night, too captivated by your beauty to act reasonably.
Maybe he was a fool then too.
“I dance as well. Not here though. Back home. It’s different,” he steps closer, heart warming when you don’t back away, honoured that he’s won your trust. Dance was a language he could always speak, no matter where he was in the world.
“Different isn’t always bad,” you reply, tilting your head curiously. “What do you dance?”
“Hip-hop,” he rambles, feeling his shyness dissipate when you tune in to the conversation. “It’s not like you, I mean you were–, wow, but I like to tell stories. When I dance.”
He feels himself grow warm at his stilted words, silently cursing the fact that he hadn’t taken Chan up on those English lessons when he’d met up with him for coffee last time. But he never imagined he’d be here.
Your smile only grows as you nod your head along with his words, understanding exactly what he meant.
“So, Minho, what brings you here? To Barcelona.”
Minho bristles, unsure how to answer the question. There were so many reasons, and you were a complete stranger. Did he dare reveal the truth?
“Here, I can be lost, I think,” Minho whispers, hoping you’ll know he means in more than ways than one. “Seoul is different. I think too much. The noise hurts.”
“I know exactly what you mean. I moved here six years ago, and sometimes it feels like I’m living inside a painting. It’s both magical and lonely sometimes.”
A flicker of relief washes over him. You understood him. Minho had been searching for so long for someone who understood – his friends could comfort him, but they didn’t really get it. The paralysis he felt.
“You’re kind. Kind and good at dancing,” he grins shyly, bunny teeth poking through his lips.
“You’re good with words,” you tease back. “You should have been a writer instead.”
“Too late for that now,” Minho sighs, his entire figure slumping, and he watches you freeze. He wants to tell you it’s not your fault he feels this way, that you didn’t do anything, but the words remain clogged in his throat.
“Well it’s barely 10pm. I wouldn’t say it’s that late,” you say, voice filled with warmth, and Minho slowly comes back to himself, giving you a chuckle.
“Can I, you, we, go somewhere? Together?”
Minho watches you pause for a moment, scared that what he’d offered caused you to hesitate. But something about you made him want to keep talking to you, even if it was only for tonight.
“Sure, I’d love to.” He watches your eyes scrunch in enthusiasm. “I can show you some of my favourite places around the city.”
You beckon to him with a hand, gesturing to the shadowy streets. Minho gulped – this was the biggest risk he’d taken since being here, almost a risk as big as leaving Korea. But with the way you’d captured him from the very first moment he’d seen you tonight, he wondered if it might just be one that paid off.
The night air hums with a new kind of energy as Minho follows you through the streets – whereas before, it all seemed a blur, now the city had truly come alive in his eyes. He peered through the windows of every building you passed, watching happy patrons laugh with each other, the heady buzz of alcohol in their veins.
Minho’s stomach only grumbles louder at the thought of booze, a pang of hunger hitting him. Embarrassed, he braces a hand around his stomach, hoping you haven’t caught on —
But you’re more perceptive than he gives you credit for, already turning around to face him.
“Okay, I definitely know where we need to go first,” you flick his arm, and Minho yelps at the surprising amount of force in the tiny jab. “You can’t dance on an empty stomach.”
Minho wants to tell you that he’d never planned on dancing at all, wasn’t even sure if he could anymore, but you’re forging ahead, on a mission.
A couple of blocks later, and Minho is hit with a tantalizing array of scents – the zing of freshly ground spices, the florality of fresh fruits, and the richness of cooked meats.
“Welcome to one of my favourite places in Barcelona,” you grin, gesturing to the wide variety of stalls laid out in front of you both. “Please take your pick.”
Minho knows exactly what he wants, heading straight for a stall serving paella. He’d passed too many damn places with the stuff already, he wasn’t going to miss out on it this time.
You following along, practically skipping with him, eyes alight with excitement.
Minho falters when the kind old gentleman running the stall greets him with an ¡hola!.
“I, uh, uno, por favor,” he stutters, ears burning with embarrassment.
You step in, gracefully saving Minho from his shame, quickly tittering off a huge order to the stall owner, and Minho feels himself relax.
“He said it’ll take a little bit for the food,” you tell him. “Do you want to explore for a bit?”
Bobbing his head yes, Minho wishes he could so badly take your hand as you weave through the market. But he wasn’t sure if you’d find that overstepping. Whatever he felt, all he knew was that the night seemed endless in the best way, full of possibilities.
The loud voices of the vendors and the clanging of different pots meld together like s symphony in his head, and Minho feels his cold limbs fill up with warmth. Maybe, just maybe, he’d come out of this trip being able to dance again.
Out of the corner of his eye, Minho sees something that makes him stop in his tracks. He taps you on the shoulder, and your face falls with concern, but when you turn to see what he’s pointing at, your eyes light up again.
“Hola,” Minho approaches the flower stall more confidently this time. The fresh scent of many different blooms makes him think of his mother’s garden in Korea, full of mugunghwas. He sees the brilliant hue of a bouquet of red carnations, and silently puts up a finger, his eyes darting to you.
The lady running the stall understands him immediately, her eyes gleaming with excitement. She grabs one from the bunch, taking special care to trim the stem. Minho rummages around in his pocket for some spare change, handing the lady more than she probably charged him for, but his heart thuds as he turns around, holding the flower out.
“For you,” he says shyly. “You’re a good guide.”
He watches your lips part in a surprised oh!, and your entire face changes colour when he holds out the flower, suddenly becoming just as shy.
“Oh Minho, you shouldn’t have… thank you.”
You take the flower from him, thumbing at the soft petals and inhaling the sweet scent. You’d received hundreds of flowers in your lifetime, huge bouquets filled with every single kind you could think of, but somehow Minho’s humble gift of a single stem makes you feel the most special. Like he actually sees you.
The two of you remain there for a few moments, unable to follow the exchange with words, until you catch the lady from the stall eyeing you both curiously.
“I think… I think maybe we should go eat,” you finally manage to breathe out, breaking the haze of the exchange. You weren’t sure why it had been so charged, a still moment amidst the hectic market, but it felt like something you’d want to hold on to.
"___?” Minho looks at you, his voice soft. “I’m glad I came here. With you.”
You met his gaze, heart beating just a little faster.
"Me too."
Belly full, Minho follows you again through the city. Anyone looking at the two of you would think he was a little lost cat, following you around. But really, it was the opposite. Something about him made you want to stay with him. In your six years in the city, you hadn’t made very many friends. You chalked it up the the demanding nature of your job, saying you were always tired after dance practice and your feet were sore from wearing pointe shoes 85% of the time.
But you knew that was mostly an excuse. Right here, right now, it felt nice being with someone. Sharing things with someone. It only made you think of what would happen when the night would end, and Minho would leave, your loneliness welcoming you into the abyss once more.
Turning the corner, you spot it. The cozy bar was tucked away on a quiet street, its silence punctuated by the soft clinking of glasses.
Pushing the wooden door ajar, you lead Minho into the small, quaint space, filled with flickering candles and the scent of citrus and spices. The bartender sees you come in, waving a hand in greeting, and his grin only widens more when he sees Minho trail in behind you.
“Hello Kento,” you wave back, and Minho pauses again, studying the man across the bar.
“おはようございます (ohayu gozaimasu),” Minho’s low voice rumbles among the quiet din of the bar, and your jaw drops open in surprise. Minho does nothing but wink, moving to a quiet corner to pull out a chair for you.
Kento comes by to take your order, tempting you both with some of the fine-label vermouth he keeps under the bar, and you watch Minho quietly converse with him for a few moments, exchanging hushed words in Japanese.
His voice is pretty, you think. In another life maybe he could have been a singer.
“You’re full of surprises,” you tease him, watching him fidget with his napkin.
“Tokyo is close by to Seoul,” he shrugs like it’s nothing. “And I like to watch animes.”
“Where did you come from Minho? Why haven’t we met before?” You give him a wide grin.
Minho becomes quiet, his handsome face marred by what seems to be a dark cloud.
“Leaving Korea was not my plan,” he manages to grunt. “I have things there. My cats. An apartment. Dancing.”
“So what made you do it?” The words slip out, and instantly you regret them, watching pain twinge on his face. You’d hit an unexpected nerve.
“I’m looking for something,” he admits. “I don’t know what it is. My friend Hyunjin told me about Barcelona.”
“Well I think we were always meant to meet then. Hyunjin sent you to me so I can help you,” you reach over, grabbing his hand within yours. Under the dim light you study it – muscled and with prominent veins. He had a dancer’s body for certain. “Us lonely dancers only have each other to rely on huh?”
“Dancing made me happy. I, uh, what’s the word, like clothes, they–” he stumbles through his thoughts, but you don’t need him to voice them.
“Fit. It makes you feel like you belong.”
“Not anymore.”
“Why?” you blurt out, instantly regretting it when he recoils. “I’m sorry Minho, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“No, no it’s okay.”
Kento swings by then, with two glasses of vermouth, rich, and slightly sweet with a hint of bitterness. Watching Minho knock back the alcohol, you see his body loosen up, instantly feeling the tension from the previous conversation melt away.
“Have you ever had a bad dance?” Minho asks, brown eyes glimmering with interest.
“Oh, many times,” you respond with a light laugh. “One time, when I just moved here, I slipped during a performance of Swan Lake in front of a huge crowd. I locked myself in my apartment for a week.”
Minho chuckles, but then leans in, like he’s genuinely concerned. “How did you recover?”
You know he’s probably talking about the smarting ankle you must have had, but you think he means more.
“I walked in the next week and continued dancing like nothing happened, But it took time to get over. The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming sometimes.”
Minho nodded, understanding the weight of expectations when it came to doing what you both loved.
“I want to let go,” he says, gaze softening. “But it’s hard.”
“I believe in you, Minho. You’ll find the music again.”
“For you, I’ll try,” he teases softly, but you can hear the hint of determination in his voice.
Your eyes met, and for a moment, the air between you crackled. You realize this entire time, you hadn’t let go of Minho’s hand. And he hadn’t made you either. Pulling him up with you, Minho yelps in surprise, barely having a second to wave goodbye to Kento before you’re dragging him through the door, back out into the cold night.
“I think I know something that may help.”
Buzzing from the alcohol, you drag Minho deeper into the neighbourhood, the glow of the streetlights casting a warm golden hue over the cobblestones.
Heat radiates from where his palm meets yours, a soft breeze helping to calm the racing of your heart. Eventually, you hear it – the echo of a faint tune reverberating from the nearby buildings, and you know you’re almost there. A group of street musicians come into view, their lively jig fading away to a slower, more sensual melody.
“You’ve been talking this entire time about being bad at dancing, but I haven’t seen you actually do it,” You giggle, eyes gleaming with mischief. You take a few steps towards the middle of the square, beckoning Minho with a playful grin. “Come on.”
You watch Minho stall, and your heart races, thinking maybe you messed up. Maybe it was too soon for him, maybe he was scared and didn’t want to try again.
“Here? In front of everyone?” he replied, chewing nervously at his lip.
“Why not?” you challenge. “Forget everyone else. It’s just you and me. Two people who love to dance.”
You squeeze Minho’s hand in yours, squealing in shock when he pulls you close to him, arm wrapping around your waist. Leaning into his chest, you inhale his warm, woody scent, feeling yourself shiver.
“Okay,” he sighs. “But don’t think badly of me.”
“I could never,” you whisper into his neck.
Minho chuckles at that, stepping back to dramatically bow, before sweeping you into his arms once more. You move into the open space of the plaza, surrendering to the rhythm as the notes of the music envelope you both. Pressing lightly into Minho, your hand comes to rest in the soft hair at the nape of his neck.
“Tell me more about you,” you breathe against his lips. “I want to know.”
“My cats, they’re called Soonie, Doongie and Dori, they live with me in my apartment,” he smiles, pride taking over his expression when he thinks of them. “You?”
You twirl free from him, dress flaring for a moment,, then spin back, hand finding his once more.
“My mother was a ballet dancer. She hurt herself when I was young and could never dance again. It’s why I chose to follow her,” you admit, finally letting yourself break free from the walls you’d built.
You let your arms float gracefully above your head, marveling at the way you and Minho moved together. His movements were fluid and free, a sharp contrast to your precision, bodies weaving together like the finest tapestry. The air between you crackled, the pull between you like two halves of a magnet.
“You’re beautiful,” Minho says, his gaze intense as it meets your eyes, then travels, to your lips, down your neck, even further. You feel a throb between your legs, sparks erupting across your skin everywhere he touched.
The heat between you was palpable, an electric current that seemed to pulse with every beat of the music. The world no longer felt as big or scary anymore, narrowed down to the two of you, everything else fading into the background.
Suddenly, the scene around you spins, and you’re looking up at the stars, Minho’s face hovering above yours. You lean in, lips ghost against his jaw.
“Am I distracting you, Minho?” His breath caught at your query, and he sighs, drinking in the subtle scent of your skin.
You gasp when he spins you around, back meeting his front. Shivers run up your spine when he leans in, chuckling in your ear.
“Yes, but I like it,” he groans, low voice ringing in your ears, and everything around you fades as you begin to move together. Hips swaying side to side, Minho’s palms settle below your waist, so close to where you need him, and you whine softly. Even though you’re turned away, you can feel his smirk in your ear, and it all feels like it’s too much. Yet you don’t want it to stop.
The haze lifts with one particular thrust of his hips into you. A small moan leaves your mouth, and everything clears, and your heart begins to race. Shakily, your eyes meet Minho’s, surprised to find them blown out in deep pools of lust.
Minho’s shaking fingers cup the line of your jaw, his lips pressing against yours. You comd your fingers through his hair, sighing against him, finally giving in. He kisses you first with the utmost gentleness, pulling back to search your eyes for anything wrong.
Despite the chill in the night air, you’ve never felt warmer.
When you nod no, Minho leans in again, his previous gentleness giving way to hunger, the tip of his tongue gliding past your lower lip, sighing at your taste. You feel like you’ll keel over if he’s not holding you, all the blood in your body rushing away from your head.
When he finally pulls away, breathless and wide-eyed, you feel your words clogged in the back of your throat.
“I-,” you struggle, seeking brief respite from the emotions coursing through you, but not wanting the moment to end.
“I didn’t expect this night to turn out like this,” you admit, voice barely above a whisper, filled with awe.
“I’m glad it did,” Minho replied.
Looking around, you realize the music had long stopped, the band dispersing, no sign that they were even there to witness you and Minho’s dance.
“Do you have to go?” Minho asks, and his voice sounds impossibly small, like he’s afraid to know the answer.
You pause. So much waited for you ahead – performances, errands, the struggles of daily life in a foreign city. But you decided that right now, you had more than enough time to leave that behind.
Shaking your head, you nod no, air swirling with the thrill of the unexpected. And you were ready to embrace whatever came next.
Minho feels the breeze ruffle his hair, and lets his eyes close, shoulders sighing in relief. The lapping of the waves against the shore becomes even louder, the sound of traffic and other people fading away. The sand squishes in between his toes, and he lies back on his jacket, looking straight up at the stars. For the first time since he’d left Seoul, Minho felt completely at peace. Whereas uncertainty scared him before, now he completely welcomed the unknown. After all, it was what had lead him to you.
Minho feels his body heat when he thinks of you two dancing in the square, your face looking up at his, the feeling of your soft lips. It’d been so long since he was last with someone – dance always took over his life, leaving little time for love. But he thinks that maybe he’d been going about it all wrong.
He feels a tap on his shoulder, and he turns to see you lying right next to him on top of your coat. He can feel the warmth radiating from you, your hair tousled by the sea breeze and flying in the wind.
He really wants to kiss you again.
The two of you sit in silence for a moment, letting the rhythmic crash of waves fill in for the unspoken words in between you.
“Hey,” you interrupt the quiet with a whisper, like you’re afraid to shatter the serenity of this moment.
“Hey,” Minho says back, reaching over to brush a stray strand of hair out of your eyes. His fingers linger a little too long on your cheekbone before he drops it.
You stare at him, swirling patterns in the sand between you.
“I get it, you know. How you feel. I feel it every day when I dance. Ballet is beautiful, but it’s also... constricting,” you sigh. “Sometimes I just want to be free – free to dance, to live, to love.”
Minho nods, feeling a lump in his throat.
“I also want that. But I’m scared. What if I’m free and I’m still not happy?”
There’s a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes, a rawness in his voice.
“I think happiness finds you when you least expect it,” you say gently, your voice like a gentle pat on the back.
Minho had never expected you at all. But he was glad you were here anyway.
“Can I kiss you?” He manages to choke out, heart racing as he takes in the way the moonlight casts shadows against the curve of your jaw and the softness of your lips. The urge to touch you again felt almost unbearable.
The space between you vanishes, and Minho sees you smile, leaning in closer, and his heart thuds in his chest. He reaches out again, pulling you towards him.
Your lips meet softly, shy and tentative compared to the way he kissed you in the square. It’s as gentle as the lulling of the waves, and Minho feels the world fade away, only able to register the cold sand underneath him, and you.
As you broke apart, breathless, Minho sees you search his face.
“What’s on your mind, Minho?”
Minho knows he’s always been pretty poor with words. Chan was the lyrical one in the friend group. Where Minho thrived, and always had, was action. So he decides to show you.
. . .
Minho leans in again, capturing your lips with a fierce urgency, releasing a euphoric sigh into your mouth. Not wanting to push more than you’re comfortable, he wants for you to respond, fingers carding into his hair, pulling slightly at the strands, warmth blossoming in his chest.
You wonders if he knows you can feel the rapid beat of his heart, his pulse point right there below your fingertips, and you reach for his hand.
“I want you,” Minho finally manages to say. The words are strained, like he’s been holding them back for too long.
“I thought it was just me this entire time,” your own voice cracks.” I thought you were just being nice.”
Because the truth was, you’d wanted him the very first moment you saw him. He may have thought little of himself, but he was a vision in your eyes. A masterpiece to be admired, a person to be cherished.
Minho pulls you into him, body meshing with yours, until you can no longer tell where he ends and you begin. You gasp when you feel his hardness underneath his jeans.
“I am not just nice,” he smiles against your lips. His hands cradle your face, before reaching his arms behind you, fingers ghosting down the the curve of your spine.
Kicking your shoes off, you feel his fingers run up and under your skirt, skimming against your bare legs and he your breath hitch, chest rising and falling in the pale light of the moon.
Lips falling to your neck, he inhales your sweet jasmine scent, teeth grazing lightly against the soft skin. You whine into his mouth, hands fisting at the edge of his shirt, struggling to pull it over his head. He slides over you, using one hand to pin both arms behind you, reaching over with the other to slide your your dress down to your stomach, finally peeling it off, and you lie back, eyes alight with desire as you take him in.
The clink of his belt rings in your ears as both your clothes finally finish falling away, and desire pools between your legs. Sliding up against your warm coat, you spread your legs for him, a low hum escaping his parted lips at your messy arousal gleaming on your thighs in the low light. Trailing his eyes back up to your lips, he inches towards you, his breath tickling your bare skin as he leaves kisses on your jaw, your collarbone, in between your breasts. The veins in his arms bulge as his hands come up to cup both your breasts, rubbing your nipples between his fingers until they stiffen, and you let out a soft moan.
The teasing doesn’t stop, his lips enclosing over the hardened buds, messily sucking on them. While it felt amazing, you knew the sun would rise soon, and the time you had with each other was limited. You trap his hand in yours, guiding it to your throbbing clit. He nudges your legs, coaxing you to spread them further, before plunging a finger inside your wet heat, sliding it in and out. Your breath comes out in sharp gasps, your pleas for more being answered swiftly as he slides a second one in, laying his head on your stomach as more and more of your arousal coats his fingers. You mewl, unable to contain your volume as you swallow them deeper, loving the rough drag against your slick walls. His thumb grazes your clit, rubbing it in slow, delicate circles before speeding up, rubbing faster, and his grunts of determination are what push you over the edge as you come.
Breath leaving you in heavy pants, your lips find his desperately, and he teases you with his tongue, his hard cock rubbing up against your wet entrance. You gasp when he pushes in, and he pauses, wondering if it’s too much, but you nod, letting him know it’s okay. He thrusts shallowly, before pushing in all the way, watching you squirm underneath him while rutting your hips.
“Fuck,” he sighs, pushing his cock in deeper, bucking his hips against yours as your nails dig into his back. “You feel so good.”
“Oh my god, Minho, I can’t–, it’s too much,” you groan, rocking against him in an attempt to quell the burning in between your thighs..
“That’s it,” he grunts, trapping your clit in between his fingers, rubbing tight circles until you snap, seeking his lips once again, your orgasm flooding your entire body like a wave. Minho speeds up his thrusts to join you, groaning when he feels himself explode, pulling out and jerking himself off, white ropes of cum splashing against his toned stomach and onto your stomach before slumping against you.
You can feel his his chest heave with the weight of his breaths, your sticky bodies curled around each other. You begin to shiver from the breeze, and Minho cradles your sticky body in his arms, brushing the damp strands of your hair from your face before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.
“가지마, 나랑 같이 있어 (gajima, narang gatchi isseo)” he whispers against your cheek. You don’t know what the words mean, but you hold them close anyway.
When the first light of dawn washes over the beach, orange and pink and purple poking out from between the clouds, you both know it’s time. It’s hushed – an eerie silence falling in between you and Minho as you scramble to throw your layers back on, the sticky feeling between your thighs a reminder that it hadn’t all just been a dream.
From the corner of your eye, you see Minho hum absentmindedly to himself, running his fingers through his hair to tame the messy strands, and your heart lurches.
The silence remains as you bid the sea farewell, the familiar streets of the city you called home greeting you once more. Only this time, you felt like a stranger, unsure of where your relationship stood. You supposed the same could be said for the man next to you.
It takes a few short moments before you’re seated at a café, stirring your coffee pensively. The rich, bitter aroma mixes with the salt from the sea that sticks to your clothes, and you feel nauseous. Across from you, Minho was gazing out at the horizon, his expression pensive.
You knew it was only supposed to be temporary. One of those single brief moments where two strangers met each other, eventually passing like ships in the night, both of them holding onto the memory forever. So why did it hurt so much?
“Are you ready to go back to work?” Minho asked, his voice warm and gentle, snapping you from your thoughts.
“Yeah,” you replied, forcing a smile. “I’ve been rehearsing for weeks. But…”
You hesitate, heart feeling heavy.
“I know,” Minho finishes your thought. “It feels different this time.”
“I love ballet, I really do,” you continue, voice barely above a whisper. “But dancing isn’t my whole life. I think I’m just like you Minho. I’ve been searching for something real, something that goes beyond the stage.”
You watch Minho’s face twist, like he wants to say something, and you already know he would have asked you if you’d found it. Because he’d been searching for the same thing. It felt so cruel to have it ripped from your grasp the moment the sun began to rise.
You shared a moment of silence, the weight of everything hanging between you. You took a sip of your coffee, but instead of calming you, the warm liquid only makes your heart race.
“What are you going to do?” You asked Minho, watching his face jump to meet your gaze. “After tonight?”
“Go back to Seoul,” Minho struggles to keep his voice steady. “Maybe take a break from dance, to try something new.”
“Do it,” you encouraged, voice wobbling. “You owe it to yourself to explore what brings you joy. Don’t let fear hold you back.”
The café soon begins to fill with the clink of dishes, the laughter of patrons, the aroma of freshly baked pastries. It felt surreal, almost like a scene from a movie.
Minho reached across the table, his hand covering yours. “Thank you ___. For everything. I wish I knew how to say more.”
You squeezed his hand gently, eyes glistening. “You don’t have to say anything. Just promise you won’t forget this.”
You won’t forget me.
While you and Minho labour through finishing your breakfast, the clock behind you continues ticking, each passing second a reminder that time was running out.
By the time you leave, the sun has fully risen, casting a warm glow over the cobblestone streets. Walking side by side, you travel deeper into the city, the streets blurring into each other until you come upon a familiar one. The one that leads to your apartment. It was over.
“What did it mean?” you ask him, voice tinged with sadness. “What you said on the beach?”
Minho’s smooth voice had lingered in the back of your mind all morning, and you wished you knew Korean, that you could say something back to him. Like he’d tried for you.
Minho looked at you, a hint of a smile on his lips, though his eyes were clouded with emotion.
“I can’t tell.”
Both of you knew it was because it might change everything.
You falter, wondering if you should say something, make a promise to keep in touch, to meet again. But it seems so useless, knowing Minho would probably never come back, and you’d never scrap together the time or money to fly to his side of the world.
You settle for throwing your arms around him, wrapping him in a tight embrace. You bury your head into his neck, committing his familiar scent to memory, wishing it could last forever.
When you pull away, you’re already backing down the street, Minho’s somber expression looking after you.
“I guess this is it,” you said, voice trembling slightly.
Minho nodded, a bittersweet smile on his lips.
“Take care of yourself, ___.”
The knot in your stomach only grows tighter when you see him step away, tears pricking your eyes. With one last lingering look, he turned and walked away, the sunlight catching in his hair.
As he turned the corner, you whispered a silent wish to the rising sun, that no matter what happened, that Minho would be happy. And that if he was, maybe you could be too.
Adjusting your pointe shoes, the soft strains of music fill the air. You stand on your tip toes, gazing at your reflection in the mirror. What looks back at you looks the same as it always has – perfect form, straight posture, the picture of elegance. But only you know there’s something different now, a wild longing in your heart.
It had been months since that one night with Minho, but he’d never left your mind. Somehow, even though he was oceans away, his ghost trailed after you everywhere you went. When you spun, you could almost feel his hands around your waist, guiding you in a duet. When you came home to your apartment, you wished he was there, the two of you laughing over a cup of coffee. Every time you smelled the ocean breeze, you remembered his lips meeting yours, bodies tangled together in the sand.
He was everywhere and nowhere to be found, all at once.
When practice ends, you chat with your fellow dancers, wishing them a swift goodbye before running out the door.
When the longing built to its worst, you always knew where to go, the warmth of Kento’s bar waiting for you at the end of another rough day. Before, he would tease you, asking where your “special friend who spoke good Japanese” was, but now he only slides a matcha in your direction, his eyes sad while he chuckles about how you needed to cut back on the vermouth.
In a daze, you scroll through your phone, heart dropping when you realized there were no photos of Minho in your phone. The date remained a figment of your memory, like he’d never existed at all. And you had nothing to look back on.
Tears prick your eyes when you realize how stupid you’d been. So caught up in the moment that you hadn’t even thought of asking for his number, or any contact information. There were a million people named “Minho” from Seoul to wade through every time you opened social media to check.
You wondered if Minho thought of you as often as you thought of him. What was he doing now? Was he happy?
Sighing heavily, you decide you’ll probably never know the answer.
Until your phone buzzes.
. . .
Minho sighs deeply, his muscles aching from another grueling day in the studio. He feels Soonie brush against his feet, his oldest friend curling up into a ball at his feet, and he reaches down to scratch between his ears. Looking out over the balcony, the twinkling city lights of Seoul gleam back at him, but his thoughts are full of another place. And another person.
No matter how much he immersed himself in his routine—classes, rehearsals, and performances—something felt off. His friends would joke about his trip, saying he’d come back a changed man, like a monk who’d found enlightenment, but his serious expression always shut them down.
He hears footsteps on the balcony behind him, and Hyunjin comes to sit next to him, holding out a steaming cup of noodles in his hands.
“Eat hyung,” he scolds Minho. “You have to be exhausted from practice today.”
Minho accepts the cup, picking up a few with his chopsticks, but decides he can’t stomach them, staring absently at the cup.
“Hyung, I don’t mean to pry, but,” Hyunjin sounds unsure, like he’s poking a sleeping dragon. “What happened in Barcelona?”
Minho shoots up at Hyunjin’s perceptive question, knowing his pabo face was terrible at hiding things. Especially from his best friend.
Whereas Minho struggled to find the words with you, they all came flooding out in front of Hyunjin, recalling everything from the moment he saw you to how you continued to linger in his mind even now. How he couldn’t shake you no matter how hard he tried.
Hyunjin listens along, nodding his head in understanding, and finally leans back, brushing a hand over Soonie’s fur.
“Hyung, I know you’re stupid, but like, have you ever thought about just reaching out? Why are you torturing yourself like this?”
“Hyunjin-ah,” Minho pinches the bridge of his nose. “You don’t understand, it’s–”
“Complicated? What is so complicated about it? You like her. It sounds like she likes you. Why waste time on the what-ifs?”
Hyunjin pats him on the back, saying that if the weekend rolls around and Minho doesn’t have an update for him, he’ll threaten to air-fry him.
Minho sighs, taking a deep breath. He pulls out his phone and opens Instagram, thumb hovering over your username. He’d found you right after he’d left of course, easily putting your name and Barcelona together. But he’d never been able to take the final leap to reach out, to build on whatever had started that night.
But now, he decides he’s done wasting time.
When Minho steps off the plane, the air in Barcelona is thick with the smell of orange blossoms and the distant strumming of Spanish guitar. It had only taken a few messages back and forth for you two to fall into the same easy rhythm. Hyunjin teased him for constantly checking his phone for notifications from you, but deep down, he knew that his friends wanted him to chase whatever made him happy.
It hadn’t taken much longer for him to decide to decide to book a flight, seeing an ad for the ballet troupe’s latest performance on your Instagram story. Now, as he watches the streets pass by in the cab, he feels like he might be nauseous, wondering if he’d made the right choice.
But then he thinks back to how one night hand changed everything, and decides that you’re a chance worth taking.
When he arrives at the performance hall, Minho ducks by the crowd, slipping into the plush velvet seat. Around him, the audience buzzes with excitement, but Minho pays them no mind, his eyes trained on the stage, dark for now.
When the lights go down and the curtains draw back, Minho has to hold in his breath. It was exactly like the first time.
You, in your silver and white costume, gliding across the stage like a wisp of smoke, letting the music lead you wherever you needed to go. Your performance cries with unspoken passion and longing and Minho wonders if all this time, you’ve felt the same way, unable to let him go like he had with you.
Minho doesn’t know if minutes or hours pass before the music finally stops, but he pushes his way through the audience, moving against the crowd to find the backstage exit. To find you.
. . .
“I’m sorry sir, you can’t come back here, this is only for performers…”
The security guard’s voice booms at the door to the dressing room, and Sakura, your fellow dancer, nudges you, rolling her eyes. A laugh bubbles in your throat, wondering what crazy person had made their way backstage, but then you hear it.
A voice that stops you in your tracks. One you thought you’d never hear again.
“Please, I just need to –, please,” it begs, and you’re up out of your chair before you can even stop yourself.
Pushing past the guard, your eyes widen in disbelief when you see Minho outside. He looks different now, hair longer, and maybe the colour had changed, but the real difference is in his eyes. No longer empty, they light up when they see you.
“Minho?” You whisper, unable to believe that it’s actually real. That he’s actually here.
“Surprise,” he grins, taking a step towards you.
The security guard eyes you both suspiciously, Minho in his long trench and crisp pressed slacks, and you in your sweats, the remnants of your shimmery makeup still lingering on your face, before he slips away.
“What are you doing here?”
“가지마, 나랑 같이 있어 (gajima, narang gatchi isseo). It means that I want you to stay together with me,” he admitted, voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions churning inside you both.
Tears of happiness shimmered in your eyes as you moved closer, closing the distance between you two.
“I thought you were just being nice,” you joke, but it comes out a sob.
Minho took your hands in his, and you feel the warmth radiate from his skin.
“I am not just nice,” he smiles, reaching over to thumb away a stray tear rolling down your cheek. His lips fill the spot where the tear had once been.
“Come with me,” he whispers against your temple. “I have to show you something.”
. . .
Hand in hand, the cobblestone streets of Barcelona greet you both once more, only this time, everything had changed.
Minho comes to a pause right then, feeling the weight that he’d been shouldering for months finally lift from his shoulder now that he had you in his arms again.
“Do you remember this place?” he asked.
You looked around, a smile spreading across your face as recognition dawned. “This is where we danced that night.”
“Will you dance with me again?,” he poses, his chest filled with fear and trepidation, but also hope.
You take a step back, sinking into a deep bow in front of him. Minho grins, catchind your hand to spin you back towards him. The world around you faded as you began to move together, time stopping for the both of you.
As he slowed, breathless and beaming, he feels you burrow into the crook of his neck., whispering against his skin.
“Am I distracting you Minho?”
Minho tilts his chin up to meet your gaze, a smirk pulling at his lips.
“Yes, but I like it,” he breathes, closing the gap to crash his lips against yours. “I like you.”
“I like you too, Minho.”
The sun would rise again tomorrow. But this time, you’d be by his side.
a/n pt. 2: this reminds me of Collision!Minho a bit, they're like two sides of the same coin haha. As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi 💜
#lee know x reader#lee minho x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids x you#skz x you#stray kids smut#stray kids fluff#skz smut#skz fluff#lee know smut#lee know fluff#lee know imagines#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#skz fanfic#lee know fanfic#lee know fic#skz au#stray kids scenarios#skz scenarios#stray kids fanfic#stray kids fanfiction#lee know x you#lee minho x you#skz lee minho#stray kids headcanons#kvanity#ksmutsociety
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I started watching SUPERNATURAL in November 2020. I know, I know. My partner and I had been isolating alone since March. The timing felt right. I went though a wild amount of upheaval and trauma over the next year and SPN was there for me through it all. It was THE show at THE time and it kept me afloat when I needed it the most. Since November 2021 I've written just about 110,000 words of SPN fanfic, a number that seems unbelievable to me, and that too has been a real blessing to my creative life, no matter what haters say. (why didn't I write my own novels in that time? Because I have a hobby, Karen, and I love it.) And I've read about 500000x that much fanfic, which has been the biggest blessing of all. (ETA: oh right, if you want to read my fic, you can find my stuff here, I wrote a fic where Dean reads books. Lots of books.)
I know I'm a nobody in this fandom but I thought on this, our #DestielDay, I would submit my own humble rec list. I've curated this very deliberately: every fic here has just about 4000 hits or less (most under 3000) and all were published in 2020 or after. So, sort of a rec list for some lesser known and newer fics, something you maybe haven't stumbled on yet. Especially thank you to @jewishcharliebradbury, her rec lists gave me a place to start back in the day and I have tried to model the depth and quality they brought to their lists. I tried to link to everyone's tumblr, but if I missed one, let me know.
Most of all, thank you to everyone who has EVER created something for this fandom, from 2005 to 2023. I am so thankful and, honestly, honored to be among your number. You're not supposed to be cringe and say a show saved your life...but SUPERNATURAL saved me, it really did. See y'all when the movie/reboot drops, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Notebook: IT WASN'T OVER, IT STILL ISN'T OVER. And I'm glad.
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Finale Fix-It & S15 and Beyond
What The Moon Was Saying by Amiril (@runawaymarbles)
This is hands-down one of the coolest “Dean Rescues Cas from the Empty” fics I have ever read and the concept is brilliantly structured to mirror the literal and metaphorical things Dean needs to give up and let go to get free. Every scenario is very satisfying and they make sense, is there any better feeling? Dean is very open in this, but in a believable way that still has edges. And, oh, the reunion is so good. Plus all the family stuff. Just excellent, exactly what you want in a fic like this: lovely, well-written, smart, fulfilling, all the pieces clicking, the show but better.
Awake and Annoying by skycruise
I love the use and passage of time in this one, it has some real impact, and I love the way Dean gets into the Empty (so smart, fits just right) and what I REALLY love in this one is the way it lets Dean be really clear-eyed and honest about his relationship with Sam, both the strengths and the weaknesses. And the last line, very clever and moving inverse of one of fandom’s favorite things.
Living the life you chose by allthismusic
THEEEEE post finale Sam Winchester-Outsider-POV this fandom needs. Sam is absolutely awesome in this, the most believable, loving, realistic mix of “I knew all along” and “I had no idea” versions of Sam, landing somewhere I think that’s really true and in character. It fills in and develops so many gaps and silences in what the show let Sam know in the absolute best way. Best Brother Sam is a weakness of mine and he really shines here, there for Dean in the best ways but also coming into his own, I love it so very much. (this author also has a very great 2022 Big Bang fic, hugely recommend that one too.)
your ear to the wound that whispers by EmandFandems (@lazarusemma)
Who doesn’t love a HANDPRINT FIC?!? And boy this is such a good one. It follows Dean and his thoughts on the handprint from the first touch all the way to fixing the finale and it simply buzzes with longing and desire, tenderness and rawness. It’s great insight in lot of ways into Dean’s journey. It’s short but fulfilling and oh that very perfect last line. (this author also has a lot of great Jupernatural content.)
Somewhere Off in the Dark by magickastiel
Another awesome fic that traces Dean’s shifting/growing feelings for Cas from when he shows up in his hotel rooms to a HEA fix it after canon. Dean, again, is handled so deftly in this one, his confusion and sorrow at all the times Cas is slipping away from him all the way through the things he won’t let himself know. He feels really true in this one, sharp and tender in the best Dean ways. Also it has an agonizingly romantic end, you love to end up there.
Pins and Feathers by theskywasblue (@buttherewasnogod)
This author has so many freaking good SPN fics, omg it was almost impossible to pick just one to include on this list. Go treat yourself with their entire list because there’s so much good stuff there! But this one, oh I am a sucker for a finale fix-it that lets Dean be this tender. While I LOVE fics where he just jumps right into Cas’s arms (and write them lol) I also feel like this is so true to Dean too: that “maybe I misunderstood, maybe I shouldn’t say anything, maybe he doesn’t still –” And on top of all that, it’s a “they go the beach” fic and it gets the details of it so right, sand in your toes and all. Tender, amazing slow-burn, real, hot, full of heart and longing and everything unspoken and just waiting. Very satisfying!
i loved you first by kalmialatifolia
A set of four short fics that create an entire world of feeling and emotion. These feel like little whispered stories told under the covers, very atmospheric. There’s one very sexy one, a haircutting one (so good) and they’re just intimate. All together a great set and did I mention they’re in the “Cas saves himself” genre which is mmmm an underrated treasure.
no other faith is light enough for this place by anonymous
A fix-it fic that has a particularly unique and beautiful visual of both how and why Cas comes back. The mechanics behind it are fairly standard but the way this author creates the visual of it, the sheer emotion and force behind it and how it happens, it really stood out to me and stuck with me. It’s Dean being brave enough to really feel and the way that just blossoms – lovely, aching, full-tilt wonderful.
no proof, one touch by TakeThisWaltz (@watchinghimrakeleaves)
One thing I absolutely cannot get enough of is fic where Cas is hiding out from Dean in heaven. It just hits. And the only thing better is Dean chasing him down and the WAY he does it in this fic, methodically and – well the method (sobs) it is so endearing and OBVIOUS and gives Dean a chance to shout in all the best ways. This one is just real sweet and kind of goofy and if they have to be in heaven, I want them to still be these same two dorks.
Stay by redbrickrose
This is a post S15x18 from Cas’s POV and I think it’s very true to where he would be in the moment of getting yanked out of the Empty: resigned, hesitant about what he has in front of him, still a little in shock. And then. And then. Sweet and simple and Dean gets a chance to say, say, say it. This author has a good post series AU and a lovely little spate of S15 codas, all good. And then wrote this in real-time in the week after 15x18 Despair and right before 15x19 Inherit the Earth aired (could you just sob over the possibilities?!) and then hasn’t wrote anything since and that’s a shame but, like, yeah I get it.
like a one-two punch by Muir_Wolf (@muirmarie)
Don’t you love a short fic that feels like it’s a whole novel? This goes AU after 14x20 Moriah but it is a truly delightful twist on how Chuck could’ve reacted there and it makes Dean sharp as a knife, which is one really resonant image woven through this fic. Great imagery here and so many clever solutions for the lazy plotting of S15, including simply one of my all-time favorites in any fic ever solutions to Cas’s deal (genius) and getting rid of Chuck. Brilliant like a puzzle box yet still full of so much fucking joy.
maybe i like pleasure pain by tothewillofthepeople (@kvothes)
The fact that this was written in October 2023 and is so agonizingly good fills my heart with joy and tells me Destiel will never die lol. Cas, in particular, is great in this – he’s having a hard time adjusting to being in a body and with all the fuzz of the world. I love fics where Cas struggles with coming back from the Empty and this uses a really unique approach to it: Cas facing sensory overload and not knowing how to feel but wanting it all. Lovely, hot, Dean is just right in this too.
Earlier Canon (pre S15)
Proverbs 13:12 by starlingcas (@angelcasendgame)
Many might say I am biased because Renu has beta’ed everything I have written in the SPN fandom and they can read my brain and make everything I write better. But it’s not just that. Renu has done something beautiful and delicate in this fic, which is about Dean and Cas getting trapped in a net together (forced proximity trope, yes please) and weaves a web of its own; pulling you in just as they are pulled together. This is set mostly in early S14 (before fixing the finale in the most heart-healing way) and captures that feeling so well. There’s so much that’s unsaid between them yet still conveyed and Renu absolutely nails that, along with the tender longing that was always there. This is a fic to relish.
you may tire of me (as our december sun is setting) by deludedfantasy
You know how the show just sometimes is like “uh so anyway uh then Cas…uh…left.” and it just doesn’t make one lick of sense? FINALLY FINALLY a fic where Dean says “I’ll go with you,” and then goes because he actually would do that. This is a post Tombstone fic so it is exactly where/when he WOULD go and it is tender and hesitant and aching in just all the ways it would be between the two of them at this time. It’s about needing to keep someone in sight, it’s about having another chance to say something so important, it’s slow and soft and just right for the characters in this place. I could read this one about 100 times.
the anatomy of flightless birds by cowlovely (@dollhousemary)
This fic is basically the way you feel when you get all cozy and snug underneath your favorite blanket. This is a domestic-life-in-the Bunker S9 fic where everyone behaves like they are in character and not just like they have to get Cas off screen because the writers panicked. You’ll just want to curl up in this fic and savor it the way you wrap your fingers around a hot beverage on a very cold day, there’s no better way to describe it.
virtue by JenTheSweetie
I think I’ve read this about 100 times and it still gets me everytime? It’s a five things fic about Dean and Cas hooking up and it’s all you’ve ever wished for. This is set in an amorphous S8 and it is not just agonizingly hot but also romantic and very funny. It feels really in character! Sam is hilarious, Dean is clueless but bowled over and letting himself be swept up, Cas is delighting in every second and smarter than he lets on and it ALL feels fated and lovely and sexy and just splendid. (this author only has 3 SPN fics but they are all so good and if you try sometimes, well you just might find is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of Dean learning the differences between “needing” and “wanting.”)
Romance at the Motel 6 by shelia_amour
This fic makes me feel like Stefon from SNL. This fic has everything: Cas and Sam pretending to be married, just the right amount of jealous Dean, Dean randomly pretending to be married to Cas, Dean realizing maybe this isn’t so fake after all, motel vibes, Cas in Dean’s clothes, Cas getting bee slippers. If you are not sold on this already, we are very different people. So good, aches just right. (set in a kind of “whenever” of canon, but I like to put it somewhere in S8.)
que sera sera by Purple_Starflower (@hauntedpearl)
The epitome of how fanfic unfolds for us all the things that COULD happen. You can’t PROVE to me Dean and Cas never snuck off to snuggle and feed Dean’s touch-starvation early in S13. I had to check when I finished because I just couldn’t believe this fic was under 4000 words because it feels so full of touch, longing, the things unspoken, and all the ways Dean was reaching, reaching, reaching. The best kind of ache, and everything by this author is lovely.
the hard edge that you’re settling for by lesspopped (@trekkiedean)
This is some S10 Demon!Dean that made my stomach hurt and my heart ache and I absolutely loved it and I absolutely hated it and it all felt so REAL with who Demon!Dean was and could have been. There’s a TW for mildly dubious consent in this, but to me, Cas was so agonizingly true to who he was/where he was at this point in canon too. This fic is gloriously, claustrophobically intimate. I say unbearable because as a reader you know that this closeness, this intimacy, is what Dean wants/craves/deserves but can only give himself as a demon and the author does an exquisite job at getting all that across. Hurts so good!
four of swords by sundryvillians (eurythmix) (@perenial)
Can the world ever have enough post 12x12 fic? The answer is, of course, no. Dean and Cas bake bread and in the soft space of creating something with their own hands, get so close to the words Cas said. It’s about healing and anger and making something just because you are so tired of everything breaking. If that alone isn’t enough to convince you, let me also throw in this is another one of those “possible off-screen moments in canon” that gives them something honest and tender and raw and it feels so very possible.
Fifteen Prayers From the Faithless by koyas_cat
Short, achy, that sweet sting. A set of prayers for Cas from the beginning to the end, full of all the things Dean doesn’t let himself say outloud and just reflecting the changes in their connection over alllll the years. So good.
#spn#spn fanfic#destiel fic#fic recs#destiel day#deancas fic recs#supernatural#destiel#happy anniversary#don't forget you're here forever
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Love, maybe ? | Sjy ❤︎ 엔.하.이.픈 💌
Paring: Jake X M!reader | Genre: Fluff&Soft .
Synopsis: Base on 'love maybe' by bbm~
Cw: Non.
Non proof read | Eng is not my 1st
This is a work of fanfiction, do not throw unnecessary tantrums on this nsfw/sfw blog. ©Shuenkio
A❤︎N: Been a week now so I'm back with Jake fluff fic 🥹 idea never come across my mind for a while, hoping you can enjoy also some parts may be error, bare with meh.
"This must be love, baby. Cause I never felt quite this way—
I think this is love, baby. Get weak when you call' my name—" ♫︎ Pause
"Hey M/n! Wanna go play basketball with me ? We need one last person are you in?"
Suddenly, you did. The way his voice was calling for you, alluring, floating, in your ears just making you feel weak in your knees. Think this is love? Maybe?
"Cause oh? Something bout' the way you make me feel like-" ♫︎
"M/n M/n!! I heard the new restaurant downtown has the best steak review, could you go check it out with me? My treat, you going mate? No? But I'll take that as a yes come on" Jake take hold of your hand, intertwine together as once, dragging his feet to his destination where he could show you his favorite thing without knowing, He was your favorite thing, even when you didn't even tell him yet.
"I don't know why, can't control it take hold of me— is this for real?" ♫︎
Sleep less night, boring night when you didn't get any good night text from him. Isn't it weird that you'd be crazy by waiting for his text on your notification? Though you and Jake are just buddies and nothing else. Somehow it makes you insane, no? Whether it'd affect your friendship with him or not, this is driving you silly, can't bottle your feelings any longer as you decide, your life for now.
Confession?
Yes or No
"I give up, just take my HeaRt—" ♫︎
The unexpected night out with Jake, after the prom party, you and Jake decide to go back home together. It was a peaceful night, the clear sky making the moon light shine bright across the whole city and pavement, making it feel safer than ever. Before reaching home, Jake decided he'd gaze at the lake a bit, it was his favorite place after all, under the big willow tree and a single bench.
The moon, reflection on the soothing streaming lake, is both comfort and nostalgia at the same time. As he sat down, taking his time to restore his battery. And so did you.
Two boys sat on the same bench under the big willow tree while viewing the scenario in front of them. You get the deja Vu feeling when you were a kid, sitting alone, feel better that nobody could ever make you feel enough like this.
Also this is the perfect timing, the perfect place that you could pour all of your heart into anything, the bottle heart that is begging to be able to be free right here, and so is the person In front of you, he was the one who made you feel like this all along, should you take a risk ? On the other hand, you thought this was probably the last you could be close to him because, who knows how Jake would answer and respond to your confession? Would he like boy? Would he still be the same with you after you confess? Would he love you back?
"Jake? Can I tell you something, from my mind?"
"Yea... No need to be shy, tell me everything" Jake state, throwing rock to the surface of water, not spare any glance just yet, enjoying the atmosphere.
"you sure we'd be the same if I tell you how I feel?"
"oh come on M/n nothing could go worse, with me I'm Jake" Jake snort under his breath, as he continues what he's doing, probably would not expect what could come at him.
"I like you Jake! And I hate that... I know you'd never like boy, and I know I shouldn't like you but I can't help at how you make me feel even though in fact, we're best friends. I'm sorry" You explain, already prepared how the outcome would reveal. Stare blankly at the lake, knowing too well Jake is catching off guard by your statement right now.
Your intuition is correct, Jake catches his air stuck in his throat. The last thing he worries about is happening right now, beside him, near him, and close to him. Yet he knows, that he can't be overrated at your confession. But his body didn't cooperate with him well, Jake's heart stuttered, a rush of warmth spreading through him as your words settled in the air between them. You liked him. And the truth was—he felt the same.
He calmly replied.
"weird, isn't it? took you long enough to catch up." Jake paused, letting the silence build just enough to make you wonder.
"I’ve been on the same page this whole time."
"same page? Which mean— *gasp*"
"I like you too, idiot"
"Cause I don't know what else to blame— no" ♫︎
#enhypen#enha x male reader#enhypen x male reader#jake fluff#jake x reader#enhypen jake#jake sim#jake#enha jake#enha#enha x reader#enha fluff#enhypen fluff#enha imagines#enha x you#enhypen scenarios#kpop x male reader#enha scenarios#enha fanfic#enhypen fanfiction
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No Force on this Earth (Could Keep Me From You)
Fandom: Call of Duty x Star Wars
Pairings: Simon "Ghost" Riley/John "Soap" MacTavish
Rating: Teen +
Tags: implied torture, force bonds, blood mention, angst, hurt/comfort
Notes: this fic was massively inspired by @felixeis003 and some lovely CoD x Star Wars art they did of Ghost and Soap <33 it truly got the hamster wheel in my mind going
(Check out the art here!!!)
Also now on Ao3!
Soap wasn't sure how long he'd been here. He and Gaz had been together on assignment to investigate a moon where a particularly strong force signature had pinged recently. There was suspicion that a Sith artifact was located there and they wanted to make sure it didn't fall into the wrong hands.
Unfortunately, the entire thing had been a trap. He was pretty sure Gaz had managed to make it out when he'd dove into a swarm of droids. The last thing he remembered was seeing the familiar face of Count Dooku before falling unconscious.
Ever since then, he'd been kept in a cell. A few times he'd been poked and prodded. He wasn't sure what they wanted with him, but the combination of minimal food and the Force suppression collar around his neck was making the time tick by like molasses. Most of the time he meditated while trying to overhear any speck of information that he could, which wasn't much.
The sheer emptiness of it all was almost worse. Maybe they were trying to drive him mad with silence and isolation.
He just had to hope that Gaz was coming back with a rescue party. He wasn't even 100% sure if he was still on the same moon. The only thing he could see from his confinement was the metal-lined hallway and the empty cells beside him.
During his fourth rest cycle, he heard footsteps down the hallway. He did his best to keep calm, taking in slow, steadying breaths. The person who came around the corner was a face he hadn't seen in a while.
The dark cloak swished out behind them as they came to a halt. The smirk on their face was the same one Soap remembered from the few times they were in lessons together.
"Well Phillip, you certainly weren't who I was expecting to see today." He drawled.
"After all these years and they couldn't quite beat the snark out of you could they? And that's Darth Gravis to you," Phillip replied.
Soap snorted. "Really? Darth Gravis? I'm sorry, but I'm nae gonna take you very seriously when I still remember you tripping into the fountain during our forms."
Phillip's eyebrow ticked, but otherwise he kept his face a mixture of arrogant and angry. "When I heard they'd gotten their hands on you, I told them isolation wasn't going to work. But I needed time to get here and I wanted to make sure I was the first one to get my hands on you John." He tilted his head and two droids opened up the cell. The smirk on his face grew as he took a step forward. Soap just stayed in his lotus position.
"By the time I'm done with you, we'll see how seriously you take me."
It had started simple, things Soap had expected. His ribs were bruised and each breath came out with a slight wheeze, but he could take it.
The harder part was the intrusions. Being cut off from the force while feeling someone else's slimy, icher of a presence oozing through his thoughts and tearing down his walls was agonizing. He held in his screams the best he could, making his tongue bleed in the process.
"All those feelings and you're still in the precious Order, huh? Do you think that big bastard actually cares for you that way?" Gravis drawled one time as Soap was hunched over on the floor, trying to catch his breath as blood trickled out of his nose.
"I watched the footage, you know. We keep most footage of the 'important experiments.' It'd be almost admirable that he isn't dark if it weren't for the fact that he's just so weak. You should've seen him. Pathetic honestly the way he-"
Not many things had gotten to Soap, but with his shields already low and his emotions in fray, hearing him talk about him that way made Soap snap. He lunged forward, slamming himself into Gravis's legs. With his hands still bound behind him, there wasn't much he could do before the droids grabbed him and threw him back against the other wall.
Gravis laughed as he stood up and dusted himself off. "My my, got you riled up didn't I?" He spit to the side. "Let's see if you're just as pathetic as he is."
------------
Ghost hadn't felt Soap in 5 days. While he didn't constantly check on their force bond, he didn't realize how much he felt it until it suddenly shut off.
He can remember the moment it happened with stark clarity. He'd been helping around at the town he was currently staying in, carrying some supplies to help rebuild a health center that had collapsed, when it was like everything went silent.
He froze mid step as he rapidly tried to figure out what on earth had just happened. He couldn't even pinpoint what was wrong or why everything felt slightly off until he assessed his bonds... and realized he couldn't feel Soap.
Ghost didn't have many force bonds still. The ones he had with his old master weren't the strongest and the ones that had been almost forced upon him during-
Well, he didn't have many force bonds anymore for a reason. Soap was about the only one, though Price had one too.
Ghost didn't know what to do. He'd immediately tried to reach out to Soap's comms to no success. The last thing they'd talked about was that he was going to be away on a mission with Garrick-
His comm rang.
He answered without hesitation. Maybe it was Soap from a different-
"Soap's gone."
It was Garrick. Ghost clenched his comm unit as he stared at the holographic form of the other Jedi, who seemed just fine-
"Where."
"We were on a moon in the Pelgrin sector. It was a trap and he was taken." Garrick said, getting straight to the point.
Ghost immediately started walking back to where he was staying. He had a small ship. It would take him at least 3 days to make it that far. He was already plotting his course when he realized Garrick was still talking.
"-ooku but I don't know if he's still on that moon. Ghost. The Order is going to want to try and go after him too but they won't just storm in. I don't- You know why I'm calling you, right?"
Ghost grunted. Of course he did. The Order wouldn't be as efficient as he could be, with their bureaucratic tape. There were very few things he missed about the Order, but the political ties that had developed over the recent decades wasn't one of them.
"I'm on my way. If you get any updates, contact me." He said, disconnecting the call before Garrick could say anything else.
His ship already had rations on it, but he made sure to gather a few more as well as a few additional medical supplies before leaving, despite wanting to peel out as soon as possible. When he punched in the route, he cursed under his breath at the time. Every moment felt like one too many, and he couldn't even be certain that they'd still be there when he arrived.
But he'd have time to make some calls along the way, put some feelers out. He knew who he could trust with this information.
As it was nearing the last day of his trek, he'd gotten word back that Soap was likely not far from where he'd been taken. A ship had been spotted briefly in orbit tucked behind a nearby asteroid. One wouldn't easily spot it if they didn't know what they were looking for.
Ghost took in a deep breath as he started to make a plan. The main thing he had to do was get in, but once that happened-
Well, he wasn't worried too much about whatever might be between him and Soap. It wouldn't be there long.
-----------
They didn't move him afterwards. He was left lying in a cooling pile of his own blood. His forehead was up against the metal floor as he tried to take slow breaths despite his protesting lungs which were both sore and burning as he stretched the cauterized wounds across his chest.
"I'm one with the force and the force is with me." He whispered to himself softly. He took in a slow breath through his nose but it was interrupted by a cough he tried to suppress. He spit up some blood and groaned, trying to take better note of his body.
It felt like half of him was offline, a combination of numbness and tingling stretching across his system. He worked slowly, wiggling each individual finger before he finally felt like he might be able to lift himself up to a seated position.
That's when he heard the gunshots.
He froze, uncertain at first where they were coming from. That's when he realized they were deeper in the building.
... Was someone here for him finally?
He felt a stronger wave of renewed motivation flow through him as he managed to get back to a seated position with only minimal groans and winces of pain.
"I'm one with the force and the force is with me." He said again, slightly firmer as he tried to calm the ringing in his ears so he could take better stock of where the fighting was happening.
It sounded like it was closer. Was it getting closer?
Suddenly the door down the hall opened, but the gunshots didn't get louder. Instead, he heard the familiar thrum of a lightsaber igniting.
"Well, well, what did I tell them? I knew he'd come for you." Gravis said as he stepped into the cell Soap was in. His red saber crackled angrily as he slowly lifted it, coming to a stop just under Soap's chin.
Soap took in a shaky breath as he looked up at Gravis, holding his chin as steady as he could.
"Sidious has been wanting him back, for another test run. He's certain he can break him this time." Gravis drawled. "I'm not sure why he wants that pathetic thing, but you were just bait." He smirked. "Don't worry, your usefulness hasn't run out yet. I think it'd be more impactful if you were around during the conditioning this time. Toy with his mind a bit. Or maybe we can make him kill you himself, hm? See if we can turn that rage the right direction-"
Another door opened and this time the gunshots were next to none. "Darth Gravis! The force user, he's-" a droid started to say when suddenly the sound of metal hitting the floor rang through the hall.
"My my, took you long enough to get here Simon," Gravis said, looking over but not moving his saber an inch. "Go on Johnny, say hello to him. It's only polite."
Ghost's eyes snapped over to where he was seated on the floor. Despite not being able to feel their force bond like he usually could, Soap could still catalog the emotions running across his face. Ghost's eyes went from him to the puddle of the blood on the floor and back up to the lightsaber at his throat.
Soap saw his hands tighten on the grip of his saber.
"You're just as feeble as I remember Gravis," Ghost rumbled, "Could never pick a fair fight because you knew you'd lose. Beating up on someone who's chained up and disconnected from the force? Does that make you feel stronger?"
Soap saw Gravis's expression flare with anger. The saber was immediately withdrawn and directed towards Ghost.
"You were all but scraped off the floor when you 'escaped.' You know he LET you go right? Someone as simple as you could never have made it out on your own." Gravis snarled. "I've seen the tapes. You're not even worth his time!"
Ghost slid into a fighting stance, not breaking eye contact with Gravis. "And yet he's taking his time trying to lure me back, when he's got a lap dog already drooling to do as he says. Do you feel replaceable yet mutt?"
Gravis snarled louder and immediately launched himself towards Ghost, who blocked him flawlessly. Where Gravis's attacks were fury and erratic, Ghost was as steady and smooth as ever. He looked like he was hardly breaking a sweat as Gravis danced around him.
"Face it Gravis, you were always meant to beg for scraps. If you were truly good enough you wouldn't be the one running errands to try to lure in another apprentice would you?"
This made Gravis lunge, but it was exactly what Ghost wanted to happen. He quickly grabbed Gravis by the shoulder, blocking his saber and throwing him to the floor. He stomped onto the hand that was holding his saber and Gravis shouted as he dropped it.
Ghost stared down at him for a moment.
Gravis glared, reaching up a hand, clearly about to use the force, when Ghost's expression finally broke. He curled his upper lip before gripping the air in front of him, easily lifting up Gravis from the floor before quickly slamming him back into it.
Ghost only looked at his limp form for a moment more before he immediately spun and sprinted over to Soap.
Soap looked up at him, cracking a small smile, though he was sure the blood covering his gums wasn't helping. "Hey Ghostie."
The brooding man dropped to his knees and quickly reached around Soap's neck. Soap felt the collar's latch release before he heard it, as the feeling of the Force flooded back into him.
It was like taking a deep breath after being underwater for too long.
"Oh Force," he breathed.
Immediately the next thing he felt was the cacophony of emotions flooding off of Ghost. "Ghost, I-"
"Don't move Johnny," Ghost said, his tone gruffer than normal. Johnny held still as Ghost deftly cut through the cuffs keeping his hands behind his back. When his hands were free, he slowly moved them around to his front, rubbing his wrists gently.
"Thank you," he said, realizing how fucked his voice sounded. He's sure it wasn't helping the growing concern Ghost was expressing.
"How broken are you?" Ghost asked.
"Ah, it looks worse than i' is," Soap said, but his point was a bit ruined when he had a coughing fit at the end that left him light headed.
Suddenly, the world around him shifted. He yelped and his position adjusted. Soap blinked and realized how close he was to Ghost's face now, the strong arms wrapped around him.
Ghost didn't look down at him, taking long strides back through the facility, completely ignoring the graveyard of droids around him. "I have medical supplies on the ship. I'm going to put you there before I come back and... finish what needs to be done in here."
"Ah've seen my share of death before Ghost, you didn' have'ta shield me from that."
Ghost let out a slow breath but didn't reply.
"Aye, you can' ignore me when I'm this close'ta your face," Soap said.
Finally he saw the hint of a smile under Ghost's usual face scarf. "Mm, I could try."
"Ah you could, but I don' think you traveled all the way here to save me because you don' like me."
Ghost glanced down at him, his brown eyes showing just as much as their force bond revealed. "... Johnny."
Johnny reached up a hand and cupped Ghost's face. "Thank you for comin' for me."
"My head's too quiet without you in it," he replied, pausing for a moment. "... I'll always come for ya Johnny."
There was a joke on the tip of his tongue, but his heart was too happy to make it at the moment. "I know you would Simon."
#call of duty#ghoap#ghost x soap#cod mw#tas141#cod x sw#star wars crossover#call of duty crossover#ghoap fanfic#ghost x soap fic#angst#hurt/comfort#apple's fics
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Howlin' For You Part 2
I love how that rhymes! What can I say I'm a dork!
Ah yes the little ficlet that got away from me. The first part is here. The main story is here.
I actually just love this verse in general. It's just a fun little world to play in.
Tomorrow there will be no WIP Wednesday due to the holiday. But I will be back next week with maybe a new fic for you to request. We'll see how far I get.
Sunday is also the beginning of my hiatus. Every once in awhile, I take a break from posting to relax, spend time with my family and fluff back up my backlog. I'm just not sure who long it's going to take. I said two weeks last time and I was ready to get back at it after a week. But we'll see.
~
Steve thought he looked ridiculous, like he stepped off the covers of some Harlequin romance. All he needed was a busty blonde trying to rip his clothes. Which he honestly didn’t know any. He was too well-bred to tug at his cravat even though he wanted to.
Not that it was too tight. It was impeccably tailored. That was the upside to having friends in every avenue of the supernatural community is that clothes were always made by the best tailors and seamstresses in the world. Saville Row in London wished they had the talent of the elves that made his attire tonight.
His outfit was based on the military attire of the period he was representing tonight. All of his pack were dressed similarly. Even his female alpha wore the white slacks and red coat, though hers was less resplendent then his. Her words, not his. But they cut the dashing pair.
Next to him, Chrissy was wearing a classic ballgown all in black and trimmed with red lace. But only a fool would think either of them weak.
There was no softness in her features. If Steve looked like he walked off the covers of a Harlequin romance, Chrissy looked like she walked off the cover of a gothic horror romance novel. Her eyes were cold and calculating. Though, her cover would absolutely have a pretty young woman in her clutches.
He looked up as Eddie and Wayne were announced and smiled. Now he knew why Robin was insistent on their looks. Now, Eddie and Steve would match. God, he loved his best friend.
Next to him, Chrissy bristled when Eddie’s friends came up to him as soon as he entered. Steve put his hand over hers.
“Now, now,” he murmured. “The silkie, sirens, and gwyllgi don’t owe the vampires any deference and don’t know Eddie and Wayne are supposed to greet you first. And they will. Just wait.”
Chrissy took a deep breath. “You’re right. My apologies. I’m not used to interacting with the supernatural community at large. Vampires tend to be very insular by nature. Comes with the whole needing to drink blood to survive.”
Steve nodded. Werewolves were the same. But that was the reason for this ball in the first place. To foster those connections with the supernatural beings they went to school with, worked with, lived along side of.
After the showdown that left the coven in tatters and the werewolf pack in chaos, both Chrissy and he thought this would be a good idea to have an occasion to celebrate the community that came together to rid this town of evil.
Halloween and New Year’s Eve had been floated around, but Steve thought the best night to have it would be the winter solstice. It wouldn’t be on the same day of the year and full moon excluded, it held a great significance for many members of the supernatural beings that made up their small town.
And so the Yuletide Ball was born.
It was going great so far. Well, mostly. There was that one incident...but no one was hurt and everything was fine. It was!
~
Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off Steve and Chrissy. They exuded power in a way that drove him wild. Wayne had that from years of experience, but these two were born to it. Eddie was so glad one was his best friend and the other was his boyfriend.
He was about to go over to them to greet them like he was supposed to, when Gareth and Brian came up to him with their dates. Barb looked stunning in a dress that looked like waves out on the water in various shades of green, while Brian was in a tux and feathered short cape. Gareth wore traditional hunter’s garb with a black fur cloak. His date was another gwyllgi from his pack, a young man named Darren, who was blushing next to Gareth.
“Hey!” Eddie said with a big grin. “You all look great!”
They chatted for a moment before Eddie finally made his way to the center of this and every universe, Steve.
“Hey, darlin’,” he greeted with a kiss and then bowed to Chrissy. “Your Dominus.”
“Eddie,” Chrissy said as they kissed cheeks. “I’m so nervous right now. A fight almost broke out between Jonathan Byers and Darren Driscoll.”
Eddie’s eyes went wide. “What happened?”
“Apparently werewolf greeting and gwyllgi greeting are two separate things,” Steve said with a wince. “Only no one was told, so when Darren wouldn’t bare the back of his neck as per werewolf greeting, Jonathan got his hackles up thinking Darren was trying to slight him.”
Eddie blinked at them for a moment. “Oh shit. Yeah, gwyllgi only scent each other if they hadn’t been introduced first.”
“Yup,” Steve said pursing his lips and rocking back on his heels. “Thankfully Gareth dashed between them and explained things before either of them transformed.”
“Thank god for Gareth’s quick thinking, then,” Wayne said, coming up behind Eddie. “We should get Nancy to interview and catelogue all the different set of manners from everyone to avoid that next year.”
Steve smiled. His former female alpha had found herself at loose ends after Robin replaced her and this would help with that. “I think she’d like that a lot.”
Wayne bowed his head to Chrissy. “Your Dominus.”
“Your suggestion is elegant,” Chrissy said in lieu of a greeting. “Would you wish to inform her of it?”
“It would be my pleasure,” Wayne said with a smile. “I’ll go to see to it now.” He bowed his head again and then was gone.
“My apologies, Eddie dear,” Chrissy said, “but I don’t know how Billy tolerated your in his territory for as long as he did. That man is simply too powerful.”
Eddie smirked. “Because it’s not Billy who did the toleratin’, and by extension you. He tolerates you in his territory. He’s been here since the town was seventy settlers, nine vampires, and sixteen werewolves. And I think it’s best you remember that fact.”
Chrissy opened her mouth to protest but found that she couldn’t. She stared at Eddie in shock and then bowed her head.
“Whoever sired your uncle must have been powerful indeed,” she murmured.
Eddie licked his lips slowly and the look on his face sent a shiver down Steve’s spine. Eddie, of course new who his grandsire was. But whoever it was, the young, newly turned vampire wasn’t saying.
Eddie bowed and then turned to Steve. “May I have this dance?”
Steve nodded and let him take him by the hand to lead him out to the dance floor. Unlike the vampires here, he didn’t need to afford Chrissy any deference as he was her equal. They glided together as they moved across the dance floor.
“Is your pack still pressuring you to take a mate?” Eddie murmured into Steve’s ear.
“No,” Steve said fondly, “after the events with Murray and Billy they aren’t keen to see me reproduce. Too afraid that I would imprint my forward thinking views on the new pups.”
“Baby,” Eddie said morosely. “That’s not a good thing. They should be respecting you, instead of this backtalk again. Didn’t they learn anything?”
Steve snorted. “I guess not. I thought that having Robin as my female alpha would help, but it someways I think it’s made it worse. The two outsiders running things.” He shook his head ruefully.
“Especially after you had to expel Tommy from the pack as Keeper,” Eddie murmured. “Thankfully no one had the ill sense to take his side, especially since he went willingly. But the fact that a Keeper hated the alpha so much he turned traitor? Yeah, that’s not a good look.”
Steve pressed his cheek to Eddie and breathed, “They don’t like that I’m dancing with you, either. But somehow Lucas and Max are perfectly fine to be pressed cheek to cheek as they glitter like stars on the dance floor.”
“That’s because I was born to ruffle feathers, darlin’,” Eddie said with a sigh. “Or in their case fur. But you’ll have a long and prosperous reign as alpha and they will either change with the times or leave.”
“I wish I could follow through with my threat and make you my mate,” Steve murmured, “werewolf law be damned.”
“Um...” a voice said timidly behind them, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but there’s no law that says your mate has to be a werewolf.”
Eddie and Steve stopped dancing and turned around. Standing there was a spunky blonde girl with actual fucking ringlets.
“Who are you?”
The girl beamed up at him. “Hi! I’m Suzie Bingham! Dustin invited me.”
Eddie and Steve shared a look of surprise. Dustin had been sent to a science and math camp for werewolves the last part of the summer and had come back with a supposed girlfriend. A girlfriend no one thought existed.
Until now.
“Hello,” Steve murmured. “You’re from the Provo pack, correct?”
“You remembered!” Suzie said brightly. “But about the whole mate needed to be another werewolf is bull crap.”
“And how do you figure that?” Eddie asked eyeing her curiously.
“Mormon werewolves get a bad rap because of the whole polygamy thing,” she said with a wince, “but we’re really good at keeping records.”
Steve rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “And what do your records say?”
She beamed up at him. “That the most famous pack in the Midwest had silkie for a mate in the 1840s.”
“Okay,” he hedged nodding with pursed lips. “But I doubt the silkie was male. The point of the alpha is to breed.”
Suzie wrinkled her face in disgust, pulling her chin down to her chest. “Gross. And I thought our family values were messed up.”
“Listen, Suzie was it?” Eddie asked with a feral smile. She nodded, her sunny attitude never dimming for a moment. “Would you please get to the point? Please!”
“Oh!” she said, eyes wide. “Shoot! Right. So the purpose of an alpha male isn’t to breed with the alpha female or any of the women of the pack to breed more werewolves. The point of the alpha is turn people into werewolves to prevent inbreeding. Which brings me to my point. The point of the alpha’s mate isn’t to bring pups into the world but to stand as his second in command.”
“But isn’t that the point of the female alpha?” Steve said, tilting his head in confusion.
Suzie shook her head. “The point of a female alpha is so that the women of the pack have someone to go about problems inherent in being...well female I guess.”
Eddie and Steve stared at her in shock and then glanced at each other.
“I don’t even know where the notion that the female alpha was supposed to be the second in command came from,” she continued to ramble. “Maybe someone looking at wolf packs would be my guess. But werewolves and wolves aren’t the same thing. Even the wolves we turn into tend to be bigger than any beast found in nature. I’m hoping my dad will let me study them so I can compare the two cultures.”
“And would you be willing to tell everyone that?” Steve asked innocently.
“Oh I already have been,” she said with a grin that belied the cute exterior. “Since I got here yesterday, in fact. But you’ve been so busy planning this wonderful party, that I haven’t gotten the chance to tell you that.”
Steve smiled at her. “And will you be joining us for the full moon celebrations on Monday?”
Suzie batted her big blue eyes up at him and smiled so sweet and innocently. “It would be my honor.”
She curtsied and then was off again, probably back to Dustin. Steve watched her go with growing fondness. He looked over at Eddie who was grinning at him.
“What?”
“Are you going to adopt every teenager you meet or just the werewolf ones?” Eddie asked sweetly, leaning into his space.
Steve’s jaw dropped and he nudged him out of his space with his elbow. “Excuse you! Mr. I-Must-Adopt-Every-Lost-Sheep-in-High-School!”
Eddie batted his eyelashes. “Darlin’ I don’t believe I implied that I wouldn’t co-parent with you, I was just wondering how big our brood was going to get is all.”
Steve threw back his head and laughed. It was Eddie’s favorite laugh. Eyes screwed up tight, mouth open and wide, his shoulders shaking with genuine mirth.
“Not all of them,” he said when he could catch his breath. “Just that one. Because she’s right, vampires tend to be insular because they have to be, but werewolves shouldn’t be. By their very nature they have to be social.”
Eddie nodded, his lips pressed in a firm line. “And thanks to the former pack going to crazy with the whole killing humans and all and the aftermath of that, for the last fifteen years the former Harrington, now Roane pack have been isolated from other packs.”
“Thanks to Murray,” Steve said rubbing his chin. “But how to convince them that everything they know was fed to them by fucking Wormtongue.”
Eddie kissed him firmly on the lips in the most searing kiss.
“Wow,” Steve said blinking in shock. “What did I do to deserve that?”
“You talked nerdy to me,” Eddie growled. “You said Wormtongue and you got it right. That was so hot.”
Steve blushed.
Eddie tapped Steve’s forehead. “But enough about the pack and all that bullshit. I shouldn’t have brought it up, we’re here to party and not play politics.”
And then as if the musicians Chrissy hired had heard him, the music changed from a minuet to something more upbeat.
Suddenly the floor was flooded with people and they were dancing. Eddie twirled Steve around and Steve laughed as he gracelessly stumbled around in a circle. Even Chrissy and Wayne were out on the floor cutting loose. They made for an odd couple, but they were clearly having fun.
Then Steve spotted him. He was hiding in a corner, sipping on mulled wine and trying to look inconspicuous. Which probably would have worked on every other member of the party, but not Steve.
He whispered in Eddie’s ear that he’d be right back. He beelined it straight for the pillar he was hiding behind.
“Dr. Sam Owens,” he said smoothly, “I was starting to wonder if my invitation had gone awry.”
Sam choked on his wine and started coughing. Steve slapped him on the back until he got his breath back. He looked up at Steve with watery eyes and a half-hearted attempt at a glare.
“I forgot my magic doesn’t work on you.”
Steve chuckled. “Being a Van Helsing really does have its perks. Now why are you hiding here instead of dancing with Wayne instead of Chrissy?”
“I’m not immortal like he is,” Sam muttered, “and if he tried to turn me it would kill us both.”
“Ah.”
Because yeah, Steve got it. As werewolf, he would live a couple hundred years, but Eddie? Eddie would live forever unless someone killed him or he took his own life.
“And quitting the VHS won’t help?”
“No,” Sam said, his glare more effective this time now that he was no longer choking on his wine. “Because if we lost our protections when we left, that would leave us vulnerable to attacks from people who didn’t like us sticking our noses in their business.”
Steve barked out a laugh. “Fair enough. But from one hopeless romantic to another, it doesn’t matter how long you have, share it with him. After all nothing is promised.”
Sam nodded.
Steve gave his shoulder a squeeze. “And maybe make a grand entrance, yeah?”
Sam barked out a surprised laugh. “Yeah okay.”
Steve went back to dancing with Eddie, promising him to tell him later what all that was about. They laughed, danced, ate, and drank their way through the night until about halfway through when Sam suddenly appeared at the top of the grand staircase, resplendent in silver and blue. A perfect complement to Wayne’s outfit.
Eddie pointed up at the stairs to Wayne, whose smile took over his face. He walked over to the stairs and reached the base just as Sam did.
“Sam...” Wayne breathed. “You’re here.”
“For you,” Sam murmured, leaning over and kissing Wayne’s knuckles. “May I have this dance?”
And the music changed again to something softer, more tender and dear.
“I’d be honored.”
Steve took Eddie into his arms and sighed happily. “I think this is going to be the best Christmas I’ve had in my life.”
“Yeah baby, how’s that?” Eddie murmured, pressing his cheek against Steve’s.
“Suzie will help straighten out the pack so I can be with you,” he said softly, “Sam and Wayne are back together. Nancy will be writing that supernatural manners book. And the other members of the supernatural community in Hawkins no longer feel like second class to the werewolves and vampires. Really what more could I ask for?”
“That does sound like an amazing Christmas present, baby,” Eddie purred. “Happy Yuletide and Merry Christmas, Stevie.”
“Merry, Christmas, Eds.”
~
Tag List: COMPLETED
1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006
5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
#my writing#stranger things#steddie#ladykailtiha writes#the 12 aus of christmas#werewolf steve harrington#vampire eddie munson#supernatural creatures
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i got a bit more written for chapter 3 of my ongoing fic, so yay to that! about 1.2k in, and i'm aiming for about 5-9k on this chapter so not too bad, all things considered. if you all are interested, this fic is essentially just me trying to be as medically accurate as possible about the aftermath of that crackstone fight. in other words, wednesday should've been waaaay more injured than what she's shown to be in the show. there will also be a bit of obvious pining, some panic attacks, some oblivious pining, etc... if that sounds like your thing, give it a look!
#wenclair#*moon writes#moon fic: maybe i'm weak#i also need to preface this by saying that i am not pursuing a medical degree#i have just done several hours of research spread out over time#i am in fact an english language and lit major#so there will still likely be some medical inaccuracies but we're trying here#if my lit degree has taught me how to do anything#it's to research and bullshit my way through it
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It took me a little while, but I finally had time to review seasons 2-3 of The Dragon Prince on IMDB (under chaoticgoodthiefling) so I'm here to say that I would love to see your take on on Rayllum breaking both their promises in S7 in fic form! (or one of them keeping their promise, the other breaking it, whatever you wanna do) - if you're still doing the review fic-athon, that is. If not, nw!
I would be more than happy to do a fic-athon for each season if you'd like, so for whichever one I didn't do (aka Callum's) I might keep it for Snake Boi Callum Week on the 17th and shore it up then <3 learn more about review fic-athon here
Somehow, they manage to make it back to camp.
Soren helps her walk, and Ezran bandages the cut on her cheek, her eyes as red as the blood on his too-tiny fingers. She explains what happened in a hoarse whisper as near as she knows it—her silk-wings vanishing while in pursuit of Claudia, sending her tumbling, her head smashing open on the rock, Callum crying as the shadows began to cloak them, asking her to stay, asking her to forgive him—Rayla blinking blearily as Soren and Ezran had crashed through the bramble just in time to see Callum, eyes all black and mouth unsmiling, place the cube in Aaravos' outstretched palm, because she was too weak to stop him, only bruises and blood to show for her troubles, her blades unable to follow through.
You promised, Callum had rasped before he'd said the spell.
But even then, that hadn't been his last words. One last kiss to her forehead. I love you. I'm sorry.
And they won't be his last words, Rayla thinks stubbornly as they regroup at the Silvergrove. The tea Ethari prepared for her is going cold, him and Ez and Soren discussing things—Callum—in the other room. Giving her time to recuperate. Like she needs it. What she needs is her—
"Rayla."
Runaan sits down in the chair across from her, his lips pursed, eyes guarded.
She sighs and gives up on ever drinking the tea, nudging the ceramic mug towards her father instead. Runaan gives it a dubious sniff and then takes a sip.
"What?" she asks tiredly when he makes a face and sets it down; he's always liked weaker rather than stronger tea.
"Your... human. Is what the others say true? He's—not himself?"
She snorts even as her eyes sting, Runaan's uncharacteristic gentleness crushing her heart into even more pieces. Oh, you have a nicer word for it, for being possessed? Corrupted. Soren and Ezran hadn't even known Callum had cured himself—that he'd chosen to throw it all away, and for what? For her? "For now," she says. "We're..."
She curls in on herself.
If Aaravos ever controls me again, if he uses me, promise me you'll kill me.
I promise.
Her fist in Runaan's face, closer than they sat together now, reminding him that You taught me to never break my promises!
"I'm scared, Runaan," she admits, the words feeling unholy—blasphemous—this deep in the heart of the Silvergrove, even with her trial behind her. "What if he—" she chokes back a sob. "What if he's gone?"
Runaan stares at the tea and then at her, cerulean blue eyes more than contemplative. Maybe sad? "Do you truly believe that? I thought I was gone, in the Moon Nexus. You convinced me otherwise."
"But you were just trapped with dark magic. He's..." Become it, all ashy and smoky, the stark white in his hair. The unseeing red in his eyes. Like the corrupted banthers that had almost eaten them on more than one occasion. She tugs on her hair. "At the Starscraper, they told us that if he ever did it again, he'd be corrupted—overwhelmed, completely. That there'd be nothing left. And now..."
She wipes stubbornly at her eyes. "He made me promise, Runaan. That I'd kill him if it ever happened. Now it has, and I..."
"Do you want to kill him?" Runaan asks plainly.
Rayla recoils. "What? Of course not. I love him."
"Then perhaps that is your answer."
Rayla stares at him this time. "It is not that simple. Aaravos—"
"Rayla."
Her father reaches across the table for her hand, his thumb stroking over the inside of the wrist, where he'd bound her long ago. Sometimes the joint still aches; if Callum hadn't hatched Zym, and Zym hadn't removed it when they did, the binding probably would've claimed her hand anyway.
Runaan gives her wrist a gentle squeeze. "When you were growing up, I fashioned you into my little blade. You were eager for it, and I was a suitable whetstone—I thought it was the best way to protect ourselves. To protect you. But you were not made to be an assassin, and I am sorry if I have ever made you feel like it is your greatest weakness instead of your greatest strength. At the time, I did not know better; I do now. That boy loves you, and you love him. Yes, you may kill him, and save the world—but will it be a world you want to live in, afterwards? What do you want when this is all over?"
"I..."
She knows, of course. Walks in the garden. Moonberry surprise by the square. His hand, warm and wrapped around her fingers. It's all she's ever wanted: a life with the boy in peacetimes that she could've had all along, if she'd just...
"I kept my promise to kill a king, and I have regretted it each day since," Runaan says. "If I had broken it, and listened to you, we would've been better for it. I would have, too. Trust yourself, and trust him. If your situations were reversed—when they were—what would he do? What do you want to do?" He levels her with an even, steady stare. "What feels right?"
Rayla blinks back a fresh wave of tears. "Saving him," she says, "of course, but—"
"Then Ethari and myself will stand by you," he says, "as you do just that."
Her chair scrapes against the floor as she rises, throwing her arms around her father; Runaan hugs her back tightly. "Thank you," she mumbles into his chest, her heart feeling lighter than it had in years.
He takes her by the shoulders when they pull away, a small smile playing over his lips. "Now, what do you say we join the crownguard and the young king, and decide on what to do next to save your mage, hm?"
#rayllum#tdp runaan#tdp rayla#runaan#moon fam#caylangst#the dragon prince#elf fam#my fic#fic#requests#review fic-athon#i need you to kill me#s7#s7 speculation#promise motif
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In search of freedom (Ch. 7)
7. What do you wish for?
⠀⠀➺ fic masterlist
⠀⠀➺ Chapter 6 ; Chapter 7 ; Chapter 8
⠀⠀⠀⠀She's been searching for freedom her entire life and everytime she thought it was laying right in front of her eyes, she was mistaken. She was running around the East Blue, seeking herself and her dreams, meeting people she never forgot. No matter how much she traveled, she could only catch a glimpse of peace before realizing everything would crumble at her feet.
⠀⠀⠀⠀Maybe it was destiny that brought her on that ship with three strangers — foolishly, that's what she tried to believe when the moon shined beautifully and hope settled in her chest, squeezed by the same ribcage where feelings were blooming.
Pairing: female!reader x OPLA Zoro Roronoa
Warnings for this chapter: angst, graphic depictions of deaths and fatal wounds, self-harm, brief suicidal mention, canon-typical violence, tiny bit comfort at the end
Word count: 8,4 k
Theme song: fic spotify playlist (click on the link)
A/N: I'm glad I could finish the chapter so early and there are some scenes in here that I really loved writing. Also, I want you to pay close attention to the fight Witch has with the fishman. The anime watchers and manga readers that got far enough with One Piece will probably get it faster ;)
I'd be happy to hear your opinions on this chapter. Every interaction is appreciated and thank you so much for sticking to this story till now <3
The reader is referred to as "Witch" because I have no intentions of using "Y/N".
"What is your dream?"
While she would've rather expected that question to come from Luffy, the tipsy Zoro by her side, leaned against the mast, seemed to be rather intrigued by her reasons to remain with Luffy.
When she turned her head towards him, one of her suppositions was proved to be right: the stars above shone beautifully, but nothing could compare to the swordsman's brown eyes. In the dark, his dark chocolate irises were swallowed by pupils dark as the depths of the oceans. No. Dark and beautiful as the night sky she teared her gaze away from.
Her silence could've been interpreted in many ways and Zoro might become suspicious, but his already flushed state seemed to swallow everything in. He only looked back at her.
The witch couldn't exactly spot the specific aura of his gaze. He wasn't only flushed because of the alcohol, no. He seemed… soft, even. His shoulders were relaxed and the grip on the empty bottle loosened up.
His question was simply something she didn't expect, as he was always down to earth, similarly to Nami. However, there was a tiny difference — he proudly admitted he wanted to become the strongest swordsman in the world.
"I—," the word left her lips like a mere whisper.
Her determination faltered under the weight of the alcohol. Until that moment, after sharing some ugly parts of her past, his remarks made her laugh and chuckle happily.
"I want to be free."
One simple wish that could have so many connotations.
"I don't see any rope around your wrists."
His voice was like a low rumble coming from the depths of his chest, such a pleasant and soothing sound.
Their eye contact didn't break. Their gazes were locked together and she couldn't bring herself to be mad about it, especially when she was drunk enough to let vulnerable sides of her poor soul see the light of the stars.
Faint, shy, but it was there.
"I want to be free from myself and the expectations everyone has of me," she clarified. "Free from the rules of the world, written or unwritten. Free from the Marines that are now on my tail."
"Why did you become a pirate if you wanted to be free from the Navy?"
"The sea always looked like a place where I could be free," she admitted with a weak voice. The same tiny voice her younger self used to have when dreaming of a future.
Zoro knitted his eyebrows together and blinked, staring at the small beauty mark on her face he just noticed. He seemed deep in thought or rather trying to figure out the meaning of her words.
He was rarely so concentrated outside of critical situations like fights.
"Are you free now, then?"
With a gulp, she shook her head.
"No."
One word. One heavy weight on her soul.
"How do you wanna be free?" came another question from the swordsman.
"I have no clue."
The cage around her was a metaphor. She always felt like iron bars squeezed her tighter and tighter, until she broke down, a situation that occurred only a few times a year and was always hidden from prying eyes.
Realistically, there was no free place in that world. The Marine wasn't by any means as righteous as they wanted to look like and they were certainly not saviors. Of course, there were plenty of pirates that did nothing else but harm everyone and everything they laid eyes on. Some of them had ugly souls, dark and dirtied by greed.
However, there were plenty of people that were so-called pirates and yet never harmed unless they had to protect someone. Like Luffy or Usopp. They never took anyone's life.
Like her father.
She wasn't one of those pirates. The witch has killed people, even if never solely for blood thirst. Or, at least, not yet. She deserved to die, to never see the light of a new day.
A personal justice system — that's what she's always had, that's what she grew to learn about from the crew she left barely a year ago.
Deep down, she knew she would never be free. There was no liberty for a monster.
When she looked at Zoro, she also wanted him to taste freedom on his tongue. Maybe he already knew what that felt like.
If she couldn't find her own freedom, she could settle for protecting her friends' freedom. That would be more than enough, right?
"Aren't you at fault for your own lack of freedom?" Zoro pulled her out of her thoughts.
His question might've sounded as insensitive and accusing, but she was aware the swordsman didn't mean it that way. He always had his own way with words and, unfortunately, he got misinterpreted most of the time.
He was simply stating a probable truth.
Then I suppose I should get rid of my—
No. There was no time to think of such things, even if she was drunk and vulnerable. Admitting that to his face would be shameful of her.
Maybe she wasn't that ready to share secrets yet, was she?
"I most probably am," the witch whispered as she averted her eyes back to the sky splattered with stars. "At the end of the day, I'm the only one taking into account what others say and how they affect me."
She didn't know exactly how to pursue freedom, but she was certain of something else: if that beautiful future stood in front of her, Zoro was probably one of the ways to find out.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
The witch wasn't able to find freedom if she died at that moment, with the blue hand of a fishman gripping at her throat. There was a lingering ache at the crown of her head from when he pushed her against the wall.
Her eyes squeezed shut while life seemed to slip from her hold, the same way her fingers lost their force while clutching onto the fishman's forearm. She had to find a way to get out of there, to breathe, because her lungs were already begging for some oxygen. Her vision was getting blurry and the pain in her entire throat spread like fire through her body.
Maybe it was because of her hyper-aware state, but she could swear the wound on her bicep was bloody again considering the sharp pain shooting through her arm.
No. There was no time to die and beg for forgiveness — and whose forgiveness could she ask for if she stays alive? Exactly. No one's.
The witch didn't know if she breathed in air or it just felt awfully familiar to that sensation, but her lungs suddenly swallowed something fresh and powerful. It ate the pain hungrily, destroying every doubt in her mind the more she thought of her promises, of the corpse of a father who still whispered in her dreams "go find your freedom".
The grip on the fishman's arm grew tighter, stronger, until her nails dug into the scales and penetrated them. Her fingers ached, the skin around her nails scratched harshly by the sharp broken scales. Fresh blood surfaced.
Her eyes opened up slowly, burning with each one of her promises, this time including her own — If I can't find freedom, I'll make it.
Every nerve in her body burnt and she tasted drugs on the tip of her tongue, an addiction threatening to clutch onto her and take control.
Power.
The witch has never been one to love power, to ache for it and yet, there she was, with a devil-like grin growing on her face.
Power.
It ate her alive and she loved that sensation. The steadiness of her heartbeats, the cage of ribs that broke to make place for that overwhelming feeling.
Power will never take control of me.
Her eyes bore holes through the fishman's entire being. There was no need for her revolver when two shining irises had the same effect.
Her vision and mind has never been clearer.
The fishman was struck. A weight settled on his shoulders, pulling him down, doubts flickering in his head.
Claws sank into his eyes, into his face and throat, clutching at his heart, threatening to pull it out of his chest.
The fishman stumbled and dropped her.
His strong grip on her throat left blooming red marks. They were ugly and her neck felt tender, but her nerves didn't register the pain properly because of the adrenaline running through her veins.
The witch immediately took the opportunity, despite the lack of air in her lungs. She crouched down to take her gun, but before she could shoot again, a loud sound got her attention.
The door of the restaurant broke at the floor underneath her when Luffy got thrown right into it by Arlong.
On the side of the stairs where Usopp crawled down was Sanji struggling to get back up after he cracked his back at the harsh contact with a table.
People were hiding under chairs and bars from the fishmen's wrath.
Her anger was fueled by each single detail. One of her shoulders felt light, while the other was heavy. The monster lurking inside her had one eye open — the same one that pushed her to cuss out Mihawk back when Zoro got a cut through his chest. The same monster she wouldn't trade anything for, because wrath has always been her forte.
The small flame of revenge started burning in the pits of her stomach. Steadily. Still vague, easy to control.
She ran down the stairs and passed by Usopp, who was at that moment helping Sanji get on his feet. The witch got out of Baratie, suddenly stopping in her tracks when she saw Arlong standing a few meters in front of her.
That fucker—
Luffy shouted something along the lines of Gum Gum and she knew that was his fight to deal with.
However, it was a fight she didn't know if he would win at that time, considering the way Arlong only turned his head to the side when he got punched in the face by Luffy's fists. The fishman spat blood on the wooden floor while he stepped closer and closer to the Straw Hat.
In a fraction, the punch Luffy received sent him flying in the sails of a boat and he fell down with a thud, grunting. It was stupid of him to provoke Arlong further, but Luffy has never been to give up or let his enemies feel the satisfaction of a victory without a proper fight.
The witch wondered if her captain didn't break a rib or two after being punched and thrown around for so long. He still had the energy to throw his fists into Arlong's face with all he's got, using his rubber arms to attack from meters away.
His Devil Fruit powers were definitely the only reason why he was alive.
But not for much longer.
Arlong muttered something with a growl and once he sank his hand in the water, the witch knew it wasn't going to end well.
The fishman didn't just splash Luffy; no, he soaked the Straw Hat to the bone and the hit with both sea water and brute force got Luffy to the ground. It was his biggest weakness.
The witch's eyes widened when she saw Arlong grabbing at Luffy's shirt and lifting him in the air, opening his mouth to reveal razor-sharp teeth.
Her feet carried her for only a second and she almost shouted out for Luffy out of despair — she would rather be stabbed in the stomach countless times than feel helpless again. Out of instinct, the hand holding the gun raised, aiming at—
"Arlong, wait!"
Nami.
The witch snapped her head towards her friend.
The orange-haired woman stomped her feet and came, leaving the Going Merry behind her. The tank-top she wore exposed a strange old tattoo on her left shoulder. She was clutching tightly onto a thin and long cylinder.
"I have it," she addressed Arlong. "I have the map."
The map.
"I got it for you, just like I said I would."
The witch blinked away the confusion that almost made her hazy and stepped in front of Nami, stopping her from moving forward.
"Nami," the witch knitted her eyebrows together. "What's going on?"
Nami's eyes held no clear emotion besides a flicker of anger.
"Exactly what you knew all along."
It was one of those times when the witch wished her tarot was wrong.
She shook her head, one of her hands gripping at Nami's wrist.
"Nami," the witch squeezed her friend's hand tighter, scared it would slip from between her fingers.
"Let go."
Nami snatched her arm out of the witch's hold and her jaw ticked. She wasn't only annoyed, there had to be more in her eyes.
"You cannot possibly tell me you want to do this," the witch insisted, stepping even closer, until she was one breath away from the navigator.
Their intense gazes clashed together and none of them let the walls fall.
"But here I am, ain't I?" Nami cocked an eyebrow.
When the orange-haired passed by, her shoulder collided harshly with the witch's who was still stuck in place.
No fucking way.
The witch needed time to think, she had to search for some clarification with her tarot cards. She needed more time to read the energy, to figure out the situation, to understand what, where, why and when. Nothing made sense and time passed by so fast she couldn't even process it all.
Luffy was so disoriented he didn't even pour enough force in his hands to get rid of Arlong's grip on the collar of his shirt.
"Nami?" he firmly spoke. "What are you doing?"
"I tried to tell you, Luffy," Nami continued walking towards him. "I was never on Your crew. I only joined up with you so I could steal the map."
"I don't believe that," Luffy denied.
"That's because you only believe what you want to believe. Doesn't make it true."
Nami, for fuck's sake, we both know you're lying—
The witch opened her mouth, ready to argue, to yell from the top of her lungs, but with one glance thrown to Arlong, she stopped. Saying the wrong thing might get Nami in great danger and she might lose credibility in front of him.
"Sister Nami's a loyal member of the Arlong Pirates," Arlong started speaking, pointing with his chin towards the one in question. "She has been for years."
The witch didn't know why she still protected Nami, but she was certainly not going to give up on her friend at that time.
Nami shoved the map in Arlong's nose to get his attention to her — or maybe the witch has gotten to another level of delusion.
"Why waste your time killing a Devil Fruit eater?" Nami reminded the fishman as if it wasn't a death sentence. "Let the sea do it for you."
"Nami, this is too far, cut the crap—" the witch revolted immediately.
Before she could make any step towards Luffy, she was grabbed by the back of her neck and launched into the wall of Baratie with sheer force — it was one of Arlong's asshole crewmates. She groaned in pain and squeezed her eyes. The shoulder she fell on sent sharp spikes through the entire left side of her body.
She cussed out, struggling to get back to her feet when Arlong let Luffy drown in the sea. The witch let out a shout of the Straw Hat's name and one of her knees betrayed her, resulting in another unceremonious fall to the ground.
Lucky for her, an arm curled around her front to help her up, a silver ring resting on the finger of the man.
"Luffy fell in the water, go now!" she didn't even wait to be properly raised to her feet to urge Sanji to jump.
Her aching body and the lack of strength wouldn't help her get Luffy out of the sea. She didn't even clearly notice when the cook left her side and jumped into the sea, too caught up in the agitation inside of her. Events passed by her faster than light. All she saw was a discarded shirt.
She wasn't sure because of what powers she managed to walk on the deck, at the edge where the other two should appear from under the water. Her head turned when she recognized Usopp from her peripherals.
"Luffy?" he asked, panic building up as his hands shook.
The witch would have responded if not for the answer to appear right under their noses. Sanji held Luffy tightly by the collar and pushed him on the dock with Usopp's help who dragged him.
The witch extended her hand to bring Sanji on the dock with them and since then, things turned blurry despite her open eyes.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
Now the only woman in the crew, the witch sat on the floor in the room that used to be Nami's, her back leaning back against the wooden wall. With eyes devoid of life, she stared up at the ceiling while pulling her knees closer to her chest, once again trying to hide herself from everyone. From everything.
On Nami's bed there was still an inert swordsman and he didn't even flinch when she tentatively said his name after entering the room.
"Fucking dammit," she squeezed her eyes shut.
Nami left. Zoro was unconscious. Luffy almost drowned if not for Sanji. Usopp was bluffing about how "everything has to be alright".
She didn't know if he was trying to convince himself or her.
Because everything was wrong. It felt wrong.
The witch took in a deep breath, but only half of the oxygen she inhaled got to her lungs and brain because of her constricted throat. Tears were sitting on her waterline for the fourth time that day.
Too much happened since the crack of dawn and it wasn't even sunset.
Exhaustion made her look years older than she was. Her head fell forward, forehead hitting her knees before the light sneaking through the windows could fall on her face.
Tears filled with anguish ran down her cheeks and it was the first time she allowed herself to let at least an ounce of the weight on top of her body dissipate. The droplets of pain melted down her cheeks and sank into the material of her shirt.
The witch sneaked her arms around the back of her thighs and squeezed herself tighter in a ball, lips trembling. Her breathing was ragged not only because of the lump in her throat, but also because of the firm grip that fishman had on her neck. The skin was sensitive to the touch and it hurt to swallow.
Every event of that day got added one on top of another. Her fight with Zoro, the fact that he was unconscious after that dwell, Nami leaving just like the witch expected to.
Betrayal. Maybe I was a fool for trusting her.
Or am I?
Teeth sank so deeply into her lower lip it drew blood and she tasted copper on the tip of her tongue.
Pain. That was right.
The only right thing happening that day was the physical pain. Palpable, real, bringing her back to earth.
Except that time it failed, because the tears didn't stop. She squeezed her eyes shut as sharp pain traveled through her body, from her chest into her limbs, puncturing each nerve, shaking her to the core.
Her soul screamed, caged by sorrow, an ugly animal that sank its fangs into her flesh and ripped from the inside. Blood was pouring from her heart, soaking organs and bones, melting into the skin like acid. It burnt so fastly, yet it never seemed to end. With a throbbing head, she couldn't hold the pain back anymore.
However, no sound ever left her lips parted in a silent scream. No whimper, no sob, no cry for help. The room was filled with silence as a heartbeat drummed in her ears in an agonizing rhythm.
I shouldn't have come on this ship in the first place. Only if I had been wise enough to leave when I got the chance. Syrup Village was a perfect option, I could've gone on another ship and continued my mindless traveling. Why did I bother myself with this? Why did I suddenly decide it was a great idea to be part of another crew when this only has brought me suffering?
With each second, she willingly aimed the gun at herself and every word was like a bullet.
I should've left. I would've been happier. I should've left it all behind when I realized this won't go well. Fuck the premonitions, fuck the destiny, damned be the world.
A body stripped of clothes and skin, only burnt flesh left behind the monster's bites. Broken ribs and a shattered heart pumping a meaningless life.
As seconds passed by one after another and her tears came to an end, the gentle swinging of the ship pulled her into a half-asleep state.
She noticed when Luffy came into the room and she was aware of his position on Zoro's bed — the cracking of the wood gave him away. As the Straw Hat talked, she only heard the swordsman's name being spoken, some words here and there, but most of his monologue was muffled.
He probably thought she was asleep because of her slow and steady breathing.
Exhaustion was clawing at her muscles and brain, but something kept her aware of the surroundings for a few more minutes.
Everything turned pitch black in her perspective. A husky and deep voice made her believe she was dreaming, the tips of her mouth curling shily upwards.
Only if it would've been reality.
"Zoro!"
Her entire body flinched and she raised her head, wide eyed. If she didn't know any better, she would've said her soul jumped out of her.
"Luffy?" she whispered, confused on why he yelled the swordsman's name—
"You're not dead!" Luffy shouted again, loud enough for everyone in Baratie to hear.
He's alive? the witch thought to herself. I really heard his voice.
Luffy crawled on top of Zoro and squeezed the life out of him. Literally.
"Now I wish I was," she heard Zoro mumble between grunts.
He was alive.
The witch's lungs filled with fresh air for the first time that day. Relief washed over her and her body relaxed, shoulders deflating as some of the weight sitting on them fell into the sea below.
While leaning her body against the wall, she managed to get up just to get a better view of the swordsman who was squinting his eyes at the ceiling. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, head falling forward.
At least one thing went right, didn't it?
After Luffy got up from above Zoro, the swordsman managed to take some deep gulps of air, chest raising up and falling rhythmically.
"I had the strangest dream that Nami left," he said with a frown on his face as he closed his eyes.
"She did," the witch responded faintly.
There wasn't enough courage in her to look at him as she said that, instead choosing to glance at the window.
Zoro looked again at the ceiling and realized her voice was too faint for all of that to be a mere joke, a prank thrown at him for staying unconscious for… for how long?
"It's my fault," Luffy said with his chin lowered.
From the corner of his eye, Zoro saw the witch place a hand on their captain's shoulder.
"We'll find a way."
There was a promise etched onto her fragile smile. As if a simple brush of air or one wrong world could make her crumble.
But she didn't. Instead, she threw a knowing look to Zoro and silently told him to talk with Luffy. She knew the Straw Hat needed his first mate's support at that moment.
What confused Zoro the most was watching the witch get out of the room without too much of a word. Her hair bounced as she stepped further away from him and their friends. Even as his ribs and body hurt at every inhale, he wanted to understand the real reason for her leaving.
Last time they talked, she expressed worry. What happened in the meantime? What the fuck went wrong?
There was a fat chance she was still mad at him for whatever reason. Sure, she was calm, collected, but he could swear he's seen fire burning in her eyes more than just once and a grin splayed on her face at the thrill and adrenaline of a fight. She snapped at him when they fought and he had to admit it would've been sadder if she treated him with silence.
However, he didn't know if that was silence or something more.
Weird, he concluded.
His attention went back to Luffy. The swordsman couldn't manage watching the ever happy-go-lucky captain speak like a ghost.
"You didn't do anything wrong." He seriously hoped he could find the right words to bring Luffy back to reality.
There's no way that crew would fall apart without a proper fight. What has been was just the beginning.
"You acted like a captain."
"But the crew is falling apart," Luffy pulled his lips in a tight line.
"No, it's not," the green-haired firmly affirmed.
Maybe a lot more than Zoro thought has happened, but that was definitely not the end.
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
Before the sun could set and hide in the sea, they gathered some supplies for their new journey. They found out from the clown head — who they found out told Arlong where to find the Straw Hats — that Nami was most probably heading to Conomi Islands, specifically Cocoyashi Village. Sanji joined their crew, which made Luffy jump in excitement for the second time that day.
Luffy's folded arms were resting over the railing of Going Merry while he stared down at the water splashing against the ship.
"Does it always take so long?" Luffy spoke so softly.
Sanji chuckled with the fishing rod in his hand as he waited for a fish to catch the bait.
"We've only been here for two minutes, be patient," the cook reminded him. "Some days, they bite as soon as you drop the line and some days, it takes hours."
Then, he threw a knowing glance towards Luffy with an arch of his eyebrow.
"But we're not talking about fishing, are we?"
"I highly doubt it," the witch mumbled as she curled her fingers around her tarot deck.
She didn't dare to shuffle through the cards again, a side of her afraid of what was waiting for them. It felt uneasy everytime she got the impulse of taking the cards out and finding out which one of them holds the truth.
The witch was leaning with her back against the railing, not so far away from the Straw Hat, pressing her fingertips into the old box made of cardboard that fit perfectly in her hands.
Luffy smiled towards Sanji before he stared into the horizon with hope.
"I just want to know if Nami's okay."
"A beautiful, talented woman does not choose to ally herself with a pirate like Arlong," Sanji said firmly, convinced of his beliefs. "Nami clearly needs to be rescued."
The witch breathed in deeply and widened her eyes, trying to find the right words to tell them what she knew. A pair of heavy steps caught her attention and she immediately recognized the chiming filling the air.
Zoro. His hand was resting on his Wado Ichimoji — his only sword now.
"Her tattoo says different," he said.
The way he looked at the witch was bringing back to life some shattered pieces of her soul. He might look serene when sleeping, but he was better that way — wide awake and an asshole.
Also, he noticed something she couldn't pinpoint. There must've been a scar on her face, most probably. At first, he only stared at her face, just to lower his gaze. Oh. She didn't sleep for two days and got in a fight with a fishman, which left some nasty bruises on her bare neck.
"Well," Sanji argued, "tattoos don't tell the whole story. And like any woman, she's a mystery to be unraveled."
"Am I supposed to feel flattered?" the witch arched her eyebrow at the cook after she turned her head towards him.
Right at that moment, Zoro stepped between her and Luffy, restricting her view. All she could see was his chest, bandaged and with a red patch in the center.
"You should change your bandages," she looked up at him.
However, the witch was hesitant when she did so. As if the man in front of her could vanish in thin air.
Zoro turned to Sanji and decided to completely ignore her comment.
"Nami made her choice."
The cook immediately frowned, creases appearing on his forehead. His scowl was deeper than Zoro's.
"You don't know why," Sanji retorted.
As if getting snapped by Usopp, Zoro scoffed:
"The only thing I want to hear from you are dinner specials. You don't know Nami."
"Sounds like you don't know her either, Mosshead," Sanji spat with a taunting smile on his lips.
"Oh God, stop, you two," the witch sighed heavily, annoyed.
Just to get the swordsman's attention to her, she poked his back with the tip of her finger, digging deep enough to receive a light flinch. It seemed like she took him by surprise. She bent her back more as she continued resting her elbows on the railing to glance at Luffy over Zoro's shoulder.
"I'm sure Nami has her reasons," their captain nodded.
"I know Nami's reason."
All of their heads turned to the witch.
Usopp was just walking up the stairs of the forecastle when his eyes sparkled curiously.
"What are you guys talking about?"
"Nami," Zoro said quickly. "Why didn't you say anything until now?" that time, his sharp words were directed to the witch.
The witch shot him a glare, displeased by his reaction. However, she would've acted the same if someone was to hide something so important.
"It would've felt unfair to tell you before talking with her," the witch clarified.
"You talked with her about it?" Usopp suddenly intervened, surprised by the news.
The witch gripped at the tarot deck in between her hands tighter and clicked her tongue, trying to find the best words to explain.
"I did. Somehow," uncertainty latched onto her voice.
None of them rushed her anymore so she took her time.
"Listen, this isn't as easy as it seems to be. Yes, Sanji, she didn't willingly get into Arlong's crew."
A snarky remark sat on the cook's tongue and he wanted to throw it Zoro's way.
"But," the witch continued in order to stop an eventual argument, "she's fully aware of her actions. She was forced by the circumstances to do what she's doing, but it doesn't mean she likes acting like Arlong's crewmate. Nami certainly hates him from the bottom of her heart. He did something. Something that forced her to act like she's a friend just to protect something or someone. Or both. She's not only protecting herself, she's protecting what's most dear to her heart."
It wasn't the witch that spoke, but the gut feeling she had. Her thoughts didn't seem so clear in months, since her last successful tarot reading. Now, as the significance of each card sank into her brain, she knew what everything meant.
It wasn't her that spoke, but her intuition.
"She's keeping us away because she's scared we'd get hurt, not only because we would get in her way. Nami cares about us and that's exactly why she's pushing us away."
"Who does that?" Zoro wondered out loud.
Maybe he should've kept that to himself.
"You do that," the witch's head snapped towards him. "I do it. And Nami does. She said she tricked us — which was true. At the same time, she's tricking Arlong. He isn't her crewmate, he's an asshole that stole something from her—"
The witch got so carried away she didn't even realize what she just said. She suddenly furrowed her eyebrows into the void and received confused looks from her friends.
"He stole something. Her freedom."
Those words were said as she actively figured the details out, staring into the void.
"Witch?" Usopp nudged her.
"Yes?" she turned towards him.
"Did she tell you all these things?"
There was a light chuckle that left her lips at that question.
"The cards did. Her reactions just gave her away and answered my doubts."
The witch knew what games she was playing. She's been doing these things for years and not only — she trusted her gut feeling above everything else.
She received an especially confused look from the cook, who had no clue why she was called a witch. He probably supposed it was because she was beautiful or maybe secretive.
He should've taken that nickname literally.
"What do we do then?" Zoro turned his head towards their captain.
Luffy listened intently to everything the witch had to say and he made up his mind since long ago:
"I want to hear her decision for myself."
"That's for the best," the witch nodded.
There was more she would've liked to say, but speaking from the gut was both easier than usual and harder when tired. Considering the last time she got some proper sleep was before they got attacked by the Marines, she could say it's been long enough for her mind to get clouded.
Stuck in her thoughts as she was, the grip on her tarot deck loosened up and the object fell from her hold on the wooden floor. The witch's exhausted brain registered that too many seconds later.
A deep frown appeared between her eyebrows, blinking in an attempt to clear her vision while she bent down to take the deck in her hand.
Obviously, she failed.
When her back was straight again, her vision went pitch black and a heavy throbbing settled in her temples. The ship swayed worse than a second ago. She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, eyes closed.
The witch has been in that situation before. She stood still, because attempting to walk would've ended in a passionate kiss with the floor.
When the sensations dissipated little by little, tiredness was everything left behind.
"I'm gonna get some rest," she mumbled, the words a little slurred.
With her eyes now opened wide enough to see where she's heading, she walked towards the stairs and cussed them out one by one.
Falling like an idiot wasn't on her to-do list for that day.
By some miracle, she managed to walk all the way into the galley. The room she shared with Nami was hers, but it was too far away. Her feet barely carried her to the dark red sofa she let her body fall on like a sack.
She didn't care about the clothes she hasn't changed from, too caught up with everything that has happened. There was enough time for a shower later, when exhaustion wasn't seeping into her bones. The only thing she had the decency to do was to take her boots off.
She stretched her legs and put an arm under her head, resting on her side to face the room. Not the most comfortable place to sleep in, but after all of that tumult, nothing mattered anymore.
The sweet sound of jingling disturbed her again.
Oh, god dammit.
She was one breath away from cussing Zoro's ass and his earrings — despite being in ecstasy that he woke up. The witch, as if expecting his next move, bent her knees to make space for him. The swordsman plopped himself down with a grunt at the other side of the sofa and her bare feet touched his thigh.
She didn't dare mutter a word about his presence. Zoro could stay. Gosh, as she was thinkingln about it, she could only believe it was a blessing he wasn't only awake, but also throwing remarks her way.
It was so much better than telling stories of her past to an unconscious Mosshead.
Right.
The edges of her mouth curled in a smile.
"What?"
"Mosshead," she chuckled, eyes still closed.
Zoro let out a scoff and she could imagine him rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
"Didn't you say you were going to rest?"
His voice was unusually low and even soft, pulling her towards the dreamland.
"I'd say this place is perfect," she mumbled.
The witch didn't bother to explain she was tired out of her mind or that her feet would most likely betray her if she dared to get up.
The silence was filled with their breathing and the sounds of the water splashing against their ship, the cracks of the wood. She remembered the times when she traveled with her father's crew and she would many times fall asleep curled next to a barrel while the vice-captain was still singing sea shanties in the middle of the night.
"Zoro," the witch whispered.
She was too weary to care about what left her mouth. It acted like alcohol — it clouded her mind and she felt shameless.
"What if I wouldn't have stepped on this ship?"
That question plagued her mind and she finally said it out loud.
"So the last ship was more to your taste?" he snickered. "It almost sank in the sea."
"You're such an ass," and while that phrase might've sounded harsh in the past, at that moment it was filled with fondness.
"Been told that before."
I really missed that voice.
"For someone with a big ass bruise on your neck, you sound more like a coward than I thought."
Maybe she deserved that serious tone thrown her way. Was he right? Only halfway through.
"No," she was stubborn enough to fight the sleep for a few more minutes. "What if I would've been happier? Y'know, less worries, no people to haunt my ass. No anxiety."
No crying over you for being almost dead.
The continuation sat on the tip of her tongue and got swallowed back with a gulp. Was there really a need for an admission? Puffy eyelids and dark circles under her eyes, chapped lips and bandages around her forearm soaked in blood. Those details were enough proof.
"Do you hate us that much?" his low voice sent shivers down her spine.
"It's not about that. Just…" she gulped and curled her fingers around the tarot deck she was still holding onto. "I want some peace."
"I say you should get some sleep."
•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•┈┈┈•
Standing on the deck felt right, even if the witch doesn't remember why she was there. She can't point out the weather clearly, it feels blurry. Seconds ago she was in the kitchen talking with Sanji about some unusual topic she couldn't remember.
Then why was she suddenly on the deck, face to face with a kneeling Zoro who had two swords piercing through his upper body from behind? She didn't only know it was him, she felt like it was him, as if the pieces connecting in her head were just right. However, it horrified her. Everything around him was blurry except for him.
Him, whose essence of life was pouring down his body, creating a puddle under him, sinking into the cracks of the wooden floor. The crimson liquid melted into his white t-shirt. Now that she was looking better at it, she noticed the sharp point of a sword penetrating all the way through his stomach to the front side of his body.
He was looking up at her, despite the way his chin was tilted down. Those sharp brown eyes were boring holes through her. His beautiful irises painted with the warm nuances of chocolate and coffee were scary, like no other time.
Was Luffy next to her? It feels like it was him, even if she can only distinguish a silhouette in the corner of her right eye.
Why was Zoro looking at her like that? She couldn't move, as if her feet were stuck in place. She didn't know if she was breathing or if she was alive anymore. She didn't know why she was on the deck, why those swords took his life away. It barely made any sense that he had enough energy to stare at her.
He didn't falter once. He didn't beg for help, her name didn't come out of his mouth, no groans, no nothing.
She couldn't move. As she stood in the same place, her anxiety was rising up, up, up, until she felt like panicking despite the lack of reaction. She felt like exploding, but she couldn't express those horrific feelings.
She couldn't help him. Her arms were stuck by the sides of her body, as if someone had put a spell on her. She had the will to move her legs, to get closer to him, she wanted to, but she remained glued in that spot. She couldn't feel her body.
She had to do something, but she was trapped inside an unmoving object that was her own body. Why?
Everything snapped.
The smallest hope towards an escape woke her up. Her eyes opened instantly and she raised up in a sitting position, eyes frantically searching for more clues, for answers about the horrifying images she just saw before her eyelids.
Her heart was beating so fast it made her wish she didn't have it at all, a deafening ba-dump repeating in her eardrums over and over again.
Unfortunately, she was face to face with the swordsman she dreamt of. Instantly, as if she was shot, she looked at his upper abdomen. For no more than two seconds, she saw a big black patch on his bandages.
She inhaled deeply and her heart was beating faster, suddenly unable to release that breath of air. Her eyes widened and her hands shook, chest tight.
"Hey," she heard more of a background sound.
She blinked countless times, until her tired brain figured out that it was just her imagination. It was so dark in the room and her nightmare was a shock, the reason why at some point the patch started blurring out, inviting her to blink until it turned to be one small spot. It has been there since he woke up from his slumber.
When the realization sank in, she let go of that breath and let out a pitiful whimper. Deep inside, it felt like relief, her eyes now squeezed shut.
This time, he clearly called her name after his fingers securely gripped at her shaking shoulders, avoiding her wound. Her hands were trembling, her entire being disturbed.
Zoro said her name, not the nickname she got so used to hearing on that ship. Not the usual Witch, a word that sounded so endearing coming from her crewmates; no, it was her name and it was spoken so softly she could've confused him for someone else.
She had a poor attempt at recalling those images in order to figure out the reality, but it backfired. The bloody scene stuck before her closed eyes pushed her to open them up again.
Thankfully, his dark gaze was warm, filled with unspoken worry. For a brief moment she wondered how he woke up, since he slept like the dead sometimes.
"I'm surprised I managed to wake you up," her voice trembled.
He didn't joke back at her. Instead, his thumbs started rubbing slow circles into her shoulders in order to bring her back to earth. Or, better said, back to the ship that was peacefully sailing on the sea during the night.
"I think you should correct your breathing," he pointed out.
Once she changed from autopilot breathing, it felt like her throat was tight.
"Breathe in."
Blindly, she trusted his instructions. That mere breath shook her again, feeling shivers when she allowed the oxygen to sink into her lungs, the same way his voice sank into her being, in the cracks of her soul.
It took a few minutes until that normal bodily process didn't seem like an impossible task. Her muscles were tense until Zoro squeezed her shoulders again.
She could distinguish more of his face than just the warmth she noticed not long ago. His expression seemed pained with worry and not from a wound that could kill him, even if there still were bandages wrapped around his torso. Maybe it was also fear that made him look so different from usual; or was it confusion?
"I'm sorry for destroying your sleep."
It was half a lie. She wasn't sorry about the touch keeping her afloat, about how she managed to breathe again only because of his presence, because he was clearly awake and alive. At the same time, she knew he needed to rest so his wound could heal properly.
"Be serious," he huffed in a lower voice, clearly displeased.
"I am. You should sleep."
"Just like you should, but I doubt you will."
"I'd argue about that."
She was still tired, even if her shock from earlier struck her like thunder. Her eyes could close at any moment, which she feared, because another nightmare didn't sound good even for how stress resistant she became.
Since he heard her soft whimper when she was still sleeping, he had no clue what to do, how to act. One thing was clear: it was better to wake her up, despite the possibility she might get defensive and attack.
Alright, now what the heck do I do? He's had nightmares before, he's seen horrendous things during his sleep countless times, but he didn't have any idea about what to do for her. Was he even supposed to do something? She didn't like being pampered — maybe he should act like nothing happened. However, the fear coloring her face earlier shocked him as well. The witch has always been collected, she had such a firm grip on her reactions it was annoying sometimes.
The swordsman shook his head, but didn't let go of her. Instead, he leaned against the cushions on his side, while his hands fell down to her forearms to get a comfortable position of his limbs and upper body. The wound on his chest sent daggers through him at each movement. Barely a day of consciously dealing with it and he's already got annoyed.
The witch looked down at where their bodies were connected. His long calloused fingers were securely wrapped around her arms, close to her wrists. When did her legs end up in his lap she didn't know. Her bare knee tingled with warmth — why?
"You had a weird reaction after you woke up," his whisper stirred something in her heart.
"What do you mean? I had plenty of reactions."
Are you playing the idiot with me? Zoro thought.
"You were more scared of seeing me than of the nightmare."
"Oh."
Why did the Mosshead have to be so observant? It was one of the reasons why she was attracted to him, evidently, but sometimes he exposed her too easily.
She dropped her chin and looked down at her own hands. Admitting that she feared his role as the main character of a tragedy for the second time felt embarrassing for some unknown reason. She's been in enough humiliating situations and he never ridiculed her.
Zoro was utterly stuck. Was he supposed to move away? His body felt too heavy to get off the sofa and go to his room. It wouldn't be alright leaving her alone with her crippling anxiety either, considering she was prone to overthinking.
He wanted to do something, but what?
He let out a long sigh and rested his head against the cushions, his fingers still curled around her wrists. Her pulse was fast, but as seconds passed by, it slowed down under the weight of his thumbs.
The witch became hyper aware of the situation, but it felt too good to move away. Her tired brain entirely registered his presence and her eyes closed. She breathed in the chill air of the night and, while focusing so intently on Zoro's presence, she fell into a deeper state of mind, half asleep.
He was disturbed from his own journey into the dream realm when he felt a light weight on his shoulder. Once his eyes opened, he saw the cause: she leaned in closer to him, clearly unaware.
He smelled like the sea and the familiar scent of soap clung to the unbuttoned blue t-shirt he wore. With her forehead resting against his neck, the witch could vaguely point out his pulse. The safety of his embrace lulled her into a dreamless sleep while she focused on his slow breathing and the secure grip he had on her.
Zoro filled her senses so fiercely it was impossible not to melt into him, inhaling and exhaling in sync with him.
The swordsman had different sentiments about this and they were all confusing.
What am I doing? he scolded himself.
He moved his head and angled his face so he could look at the right side of her sleeping face. With long eyelashes resting over her soft cheeks, she looked like she didn't have a worry in the world, even if he knew better. Her shoulders would rise and fall rhythmically in such a slow pace, making him wonder what exactly exhausted her so much.
Then, his gaze fell on the purple marks on her neck and his jaw clenched. If he would've been awake when Arlong appeared at Baratie, maybe none of them would be like that. Maybe he would've had enough stubbornness to get answers from Nami and maybe Luffy wouldn't have been so close to drowning. Maybe those marks on her neck wouldn't have been there in the first place.
What the fuck am I doing?
Giving up, he rested his head back against the cushions with a scowl. He didn't understand himself and it was even harder to understand the woman sleeping so peacefully, too close to him.
Zoro let out a low displeased sound and closed his eyes, deciding to rest for a while. He didn't dare move away or wake her up either.
First and foremost he was displeased about the fact that he liked the proximity.
I wonder what that fishman's face looks like. It'll surely be a pleasure to slice him in half.
Tag list: @emelia07 @dimplewonie @tfamidoingwithmylife @murnsondock @the-skys-musical-echo @conspiracy-crows @hallow33nz @ramae17 @gaslysainz @bunntsu @katt58 @katiemrty @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @freyademartel @boofy1998 @ponyboys-sunsets @melsunshine @loveyluv7 @waddlingwanderer @jesssssmaybankk @nadlx33333 @yoong1c0re @untoldshortsofthefandoms @mizzy-pop @zoromyluv
#in search of freedom#naomiwrites#zoro x reader#zoro x you#zoro x y/n#roronoa zoro x reader#roronoa zoro x you#roronoa zoro x y/n#opla zoro x reader#opla zoro x you#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece live action x reader#one piece live action x you#one piece live action#opla#opla zoro#opla fanfiction#one piece fanfiction#zoro fanfiction#one piece zoro#op zoro#zoro#zoro roronoa#pirate hunter zoro#x reader
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To be with you
Word count: 2 500
Just a good old sick fic <3, hopefully you like it
“Moons?” Remus jumped slightly as he heard the voice. He wasn't expecting Sirius to be back yet, but hummed anyway, smiling at him though it faded as he took in the glassy eyes, slightly reddened nose and even paler skin than usually.
“What's up, love?” He asked, closing his book and setting it down onto the side table, Sirius sniffled, reaching for Remus' hand who gladly gave it to him, all the more worried at the lack of response from Sirius. “C'mere.” Remus whispered, pulling him to sit on his lap, the boy complied, curling up to Remus the best he could in the small space of the armchair. “What's wrong, baby?” He whispered into his hair, wrapping a protective arm around him, holding him close.
“Don' feel well.” He whispered quietly as he shivered.
“Aww, that's no good.” He held his hand up to his forehead for a moment, feeling how warm he already was. “You feel quite warm. What's bothering you?”
“My head hurts, throats all scratchy. I'm cold.” He mumbled, pressing himself closer to Remus, head tucked underneath his chin, as if seeking warmth off of his boyfriend. “Dizzy.”
Remus nodded, kissing his head. “Did James tell you not to go to practice?”
“Said I'd fall off my broom.” He yawned, closing his eyes for a moment. “Won't. I never do.”
“First time for everything, hmm? But, I'm siding with him on this one, you look like you'll pass out any minute.” Sirius shook his head.
“You're my boyfriend, you're supposed to be on my side.” He mumbled, and Remus laughed quietly, running his hand through Sirius' hair.
“Whatever you say.”
“M’right.”
“Of course you are. You're always.” He grinned, getting an annoyed, weak smack on his chest from Sirius. “I have some tea, wanna sip? Might help the sore throat.”
Sirius nodded, coughing slightly, as he sat up, Remus handed him the cup, and he held on with both hands, trying to be careful. “Thank you.” He whispered, taking a sip, the warmth soothing the growing pain nicely. Remus just smiled, kissing his temple and holding him by his waist.
“Should we go upstairs, have a little nap?”
“No.”
“No? Why not, baby? You're tired, and sleep always helps when you're poorly.” Sirius nodded, handing the mug back to Remus. “You can have it.” He said, knowing the boy had taken his offer of a sip a little too literally. Sirius smiled, taking another sip of the tea. “Why don't you wanna sleep?”
“Wanna be with you.”
“Who said I wouldn't be with you?” Sirius shrugged, not looking at Remus. “We can cuddle up better in bed, love. Get you a blanket to get you all warm, sound good?”
“You're warm rem.”
“Mm, maybe, but a blanket would be warmer.”
“We have to go to dinner soon.” He argued tiredly, glancing at Remus, who nodded, rubbing at his side.
“Are you incapable of walking back down from our dorm in a few hours?” Sirius nodded, reaching to set down the much emptier mug on the table, looking at Remus. “Why're you arguing with me on this, love?”
Sirius shrugged. “Wanna stay here.” He mumbled, leaning back against him, sniffling and wiping his nose into his sleeve.
“Okay.” He said, rubbing Sirius' side and kissing his head. “Lets move to the sofa at least, so you can-”
“No.”
He didn't even bother to ask why not because Sirius didn't often make sense when he was feeling sick. He often got emotional, and he'd argue against things that weren't exactly reasonable like moving to a much comfortable place.
“Okay baby.” He whispered. “Whatever you want. Can I at least grab you a blanket? You're shivering.” Sirius nodded, and Remus reached for the Gryffindor coloured blanket that was laying on the sofa next to them, draping it over Sirius and tucking it around him the best he could.
“Thank you.” He mumbled, curling up to Remus even more, head tucked into his neck. He wiped his nose into his sleeve before he pulled the blanket even better on him covering most of his face.
“Try to sleep, love. I'll wake you up in a bit, okay?” Sirius nodded, listening to Remus' calm breathing and the soft rustling of pages as he continued to read, it was comforting in a way.
It was difficult to fall asleep with the growing headache, the annoying pressure in his sinuses, and when he was so cold. But eventually, he managed to fall asleep, only to be woken up into a coughing fit an hour later. He sat up, coughing into his arm as Remus rubbed his back gently. When he stopped coughing Remus handed him the tea that was still warm, probably because of a spell, but Sirius wasn't sure.
“Better?” He nodded, sniffling as he handed the cup back to Remus before he leaned back against him. “I think you'd be better off in bed, love. Prop yourself up and get all comfortable, yeah?”
“Okay.” He whispered, rubbing his nose into his sleeve, to try to get rid of an itch. “But um- with you?”
“I'm going to go down to the kitchens first, then I'll be with you.” Sirius nodded. “Is there something you'd like to eat?” he shook his head this time. “You gotta eat something, baby.”
“No.”
“You do. Your idiot ass skips breakfast every morning, and you didn't eat well at lunch either, can I please get you something?”
Sirius nodded. “But cuddles?”
“Sirius, it'll take me less than half an hour, you'll survive.” He shook his head, sniffling. “What's the matter? Why don't you want to be alone even for a moment?”
“Don' feel well.”
“I know.” He whispered. “I’m sorry about that, but it's not like you're gonna die if I'm away for a moment.” Sirius nodded, though reached up to wipe his eyes. “What's upsetting you, baby?”
“M’not sure.” He said, shaking his head. “My head's all- I can't think.”
“Okay. Hey Sirius, look at me?” Sirius lifted his head, looking at Remus, who brought his hand up to his forehead, then cupped his cheek. “You feel really warm, love.”
“My brain is melting.”
“Like you have one.” Remus smiled, leaning to kiss his forehead. “Let’s get you into bed, okay? I'm gonna go down to see Poppy, get something for that fever and-”
“Alone?”
“For a moment, pads.” He said. “It won't take me long, nothing bad will happen in half an hour, plus James and Pete are going to come up soon, practice is over. I can ask them to spend time with you if you really don't want to be alone.”
“I don't wanna get them sick.”
“We share a dorm, they're probably gonna get it anyway.” Sirius looked horrified at that, eyes widening as he looked at Remus.
“I'm gonna get you sick.” He whispered, his voice wavering with unshed tears. “Rem- why didn't-” He tried to get up in his panic, but Remus just pulled him back to sit back down.
“It's okay.” He soothed, slowly running his hand up and down his back to calm him down. “I don't mind. It's not like I'd leave you to tend to yourself when you're so sick just to avoid getting sick myself. And we share the same dorm, we sleep in the same bed, Sirius—I'd get it anyway.”
“Don't want to get you sick.”
“Always hits you and your poor immune system the worst, doesn't it? It's gonna be fine, even if I do get sick.” He said. “Not the end of the world, baby.”
“O-okay.”
“Besides, if we both get sick, we can force Jamie to take care of us.” Sirius gave him a small smile, feeling slightly better though he'd still rather keep his germs to himself. “Let's go to bed, yeah?” Sirius hummed, slowly getting up, almost doubling over as he sneezed into his arm. “Bless you, love. Here.” He smiled, handing him a tissue.
“Thank you.” He whispered, tucking the used tissue into his pocket, glancing at Remus as he got up, grabbing his things before taking his hand and leading him up to their dorm.
“You get comfy in bed, and I'm going to go see Poppy okay baby?” Sirius nodded slightly, looking up at him as he sat down onto the bed. “Gonna get you something to eat too.”
Sirius nodded again. “Promise to be back soon?”
“I'll be as quick as I can.” He smiled, kissing his forehead, knowing he was still nervous. “Don't worry so much, nothing's going to happen when you're alone.”
“You can't know that.”
“Just trust me baby, it's only the fever talking, yeah?” Remus said, brushing his hair back, as he nodded. “I can wait until James and Pete come back if you'd like.”
“ ‘s fine.” He sniffled, wiping his nose into his sleeve before looking back at Remus who looked really worried. “Be back soon.”
“I will.” He smiled, kissing his head before he left their dorm. Sirius quickly changed out of his clothes into something more comfortable and warm, then he crawled under the covers, trying to get himself warmed up. He couldn't find himself to fall asleep though, he was tired and really wanted to, but he couldn't, not without Remus being there. Besides, if he'd go to sleep now, he would be woken up soon anyway when Remus would come back so it was quite pointless.
He smiled slightly when the door opened, though it quickly faltered when it was only James, not that he was unhappy to see his best friend; just wasn't who he was waiting for right now. “Hi pads.” He said, smiling sadly before he walked over to his bed, stuffing his quidditch gear underneath. “Saw moony downstairs, he said you're not feeling well. See, I was right for once.”
“Shut up.” he whispered, turning to look at James, who grinned, looking at him from where his head peeked behind his bed. “Where was he?”
“About to go see Poppy I think, or maybe he was coming from there — didn't really catch it” He said, ducking back underneath his bed searching for something. “Me and Pete were going to play chess, have you seen my board? I thought I left it here.”
“On your nightstand.”
“Oh- ouch. Thanks, mate.” He said, rubbing the top of his head as he sat up. “I can stay with you if you don't wanna be alone. Or me and Peter could come up here, keep you company.”
“It's fine Jamie.” He whispered, stifling a cough into the blanket, before looking back up at James.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, gonna sleep anyway. It's fine.” He whispered, giving James a small smile, who nodded, grabbing his chessboard and turning to go back to the common room. He closed his eyes as the brightness from the lights James had turned on made his headache grow even more painful.
After a while, he heard the door opening, and he turned around in bed, looking up at Remus as he walked over to the bed. “Hi, baby.” He smiled, setting a plate and a cup onto the nightstand before sitting down on the bed. “I take it you're not feeling better?” Sirius shook his head, coughing into his arm. “Poppy gave me some medicine to give to you, got you some plain toast and more tea.”
“Thank you.” He whispered, slowly sitting up and grabbing the plate Remus had set down. “Moony? Could you um- braid my hair? It gets in the way an-”
“If you'd like.” He smiled. “I'll be right back, eat up.” Sirius nodded, watching as Remus got up and went to the bathroom, coming back a moment later with a glass of water, and a few hair ties. Sirius moved to sit near the edge of the bed, so Remus could braid his hair. He ate the rest of his toast while Remus' braided his hair, leaning against him when he felt him tie one of them off. “What baby?”
“Nothing.” Remus smiled, brushing his hair behind his ear from the side he had yet to braid. “Jus’ wanna be with you.”
“That's very sweet, love. But I do have to braid the other half of the hair before cuddling with you. Unless you want half of it to be tangled and all up in your face.” Sirius nodded, but didn't move, just kept staring up at him, sniffling after a moment and wiping his nose into his sleeve. Remus leaned to kiss his head, nudging him gently to get him to sit back up. “C’mon sit up, darling.”
Sirius did so, grabbing the teacup from the bedside table before Remus could start to braid his hair. He smiled when he felt Remus kiss the top of his head when the braids were done. He got back under the covers as Remus changed into more comfortable clothes before coming to sit down next to him, and Sirius could cuddle up to him.
“Medicine.” Sirius shook his head, hiding his face into Remus' stomach. “Yes. Poppy said you gotta take it. It'll make you feel better.”
“Won't.”
“Yes it will,” He said, running his hand over the braids he had just made. “Please love?” Sirius shook his head, mumbling something Remus couldn't really make out. “I won't give you cuddles if you don't take your medicine.”
“That's not fair.” He mumbled, but sat up, glaring at Remus as he handed him the small vial, but took a sip of it anyway. It tasted awful, so he was glad when Remus handed him a glass of water to wash off the taste. “You can't bully me when I'm ill.”
“I can always bully you.” He smiled, pulling Sirius into a hug and kissing his head. “How else would I get you to do things, hmm?”
“Ask nicely, dumbass.”
“Asking nicely doesn't work with you, darling now does it?” Sirius huffed, but leaned closer to him, curling up to Remus. “Aww, c'mon y'know I'm right.”
“You're not.”
“Sure,” He said, rubbing his back. “But look at you, I told you no cuddles, and you immediately take your medicine.”
“Shut up.” He mumbled, coughing into his arm and closing his eyes. “ ‘m all fevered it's not fair.”
“Okay. I'll try to be nice to you.” He smiled, kissing his head as Sirius gave him a weak smack on the chest, he just laughed, holding him a bit closer. Remus slowly moved them so they could lay down, Sirius just curled up more to him, letting out a content hum when the blanket was pulled better over him. “You all comfy, baby?”
“Mm,” He mumbled sleepily, sniffling and rubbing his nose into Remus' shirt to get rid of an itch. “I love you, moons.”
“I love you more, angel.” He whispered, rubbing his side gently from under his jumper. “Try to sleep, yeah? You'll feel better after a bit of sleep.” Sirius nodded, hiding his face more, letting the quiet humming and a hand running over the braids lull him to sleep. “Sleep well.” Remus said, kissing his head before continuing to hum, knowing how noise helped Sirius sleep.
A/N:
Hellooo,
Hopefully you liked this, I did.
For once I have managed to write something without angst, quite weird isn't it? Maybe I'm finally evolving as a writer, or as a personal idk
Have a nice day/night/something, remember to take care of yourself<3
See you around, maybe.
<3
#sirius black#sirius orion black#remus lupin#remus john lupin#wolfstar#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#marauders#marauders era#fluff#fluffy#mild hurt/comfort#sick comfort#sickfic#young remus lupin#young sirius black#wolfstar fic#its very cute#i think#remus lupin x sirius black#Sirius is an awful sick person#but remus is very patient
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Fated To Meet You
PAIRING: Jake Sully x Reader
WARNINGS: slight!angst, avatar!reader, fem!reader, can't think of any more rn, AU, happy!ending hopefully, not beta read
NOTES: Hello dear readers, this is my first time posting a multichapter fic on any platform so crossing my fingers that I do justice to your expectations. I'm not a native English speaker and English is my second language so please let me know where I can improve my writing skills. Moving on, please enjoy the story!
SUMMARY: The first time you saw him, you felt pity for him—Jake. Maybe that was the spark that would lead to the inferno of feelings you would hold until your last breath on Pandora.
Chapter 2
Chapter 1
Uprooting your current life and moving to an entirely different planet for a new beginning came as a surprisingly easy decision for you to make. Your fascination at your grandma’s storytelling of the lush green forests surrounded by trees as tall as the grim concrete skyscrapers, the sounds of life of the various creatures of the forest almost as prominent as the grinding of the metal machinery on Earth was what drew you to sign an application on a piece of paper which basically would sign your life away for the next 18 years to an organization called RDA.
Getting selected for the Avatar program as a xenobotanist was not something you expected. So you spent the next year and a half learning about the native flora and fauna life of the alien moon, Pandora. The week before your team was supposed to board the ISV Venture Star, you came to know of the death of your friend and colleague, Tom Sully. Killed for the few papers in his wallet. That is when you also learn of the RDA’s plans to send Jake, Tommy’s twin brother, in his stead to Pandora to prevent the monetary loss of losing an Avatar driver and subsequently wasting an asset.
You had only met Jake once when Tommy had brought him to the Training camp for a tour, and aside from greeting each other, there had not been any further interaction between you two. So, to say that seeing Tommy’s identical copy roll into the port almost gave you whiplash would be an understatement. Meeting eyes from a distance, you could only nod and wave at him before being hurriedly ushered by the staff toward the med bay for a final checkup before being put into cryosleep.
A dry mouth and blurry eyes were the first things that you noticed before your ears picked up on the med tech staff announcement. “You’ve been in cryo for five years nine months and twenty-two days. You will be hungry; you will be weak. If you feel nausea, please use the…” His voice fades to the background as you float to your assigned locker, you vaguely notice another hand reaching to the locker next to yours. You follow the hand to a familiar face – Jake. Jake barely looks at you before he grabs a bottle of water from his locker and floats away to his assigned seat to prepare to land. “They did not even have the courtesy to rename his locker,” you mumble. You brush a hand over the embossed ‘Sully. T.’. “See you on the other side, friend” you whisper before grabbing your items and floating off to your seat. The entry into the Pandoran atmosphere goes by in a blur. The dystopian dull grey of Hell’s Gate sticks out like a sore thumb between the beauty of the lush greens and emeralds around you.
You are rushed out of the Valkyrie shuttlecraft, breathing mask secured on your head, and the RDA militia screaming at you to hurry along. Carrying your knapsack, you make your way to the mess to watch Colonel Quaritch’s speech in silence. You can’t deny that the man has a flair for dramatics. “You're not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora, ladies and gentlemen. Respect that fact every second of every day.” You watch from the corner of your eye as Jake rolls in on his wheelchair, meeting your eyes for a split moment before redirecting his attention to the man’s speech. “If there is a Hell, you might want to go there for some R & R, after a tour on Pandora. Out there beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes. We have an indigenous population of humanoids called the Na'vi. They're fond of arrows dipped in a neurotoxin that'll stop your heart in one minute. And they have bones reinforced with naturally occurring carbon fiber. They are very hard to kill. As head of security, it is my job to keep you alive.” He glances around. “I will not succeed. Not with all of you. If you wish to survive, you need to cultivate a strong, mental attitude. You got to obey the rules: Pandora rules!”
You zone out as the man starts listing the rules you needed to obey. You wonder if the others standing in the room with you realize the hypocrisy of the Colonel’s speech. Reading between the man’s words was easy and the message was clear – Kill or be killed. The RDA was expecting you to follow their orders without question and you would be damned before you let a few military goons browbeat you into submission.
Post briefing, you head out towards the labs as instructed. “Jake!” A loud shout rang through the hallway. Norm Spellman, a fellow Avatar Driver, rushed past you towards a clearly taken aback Jake. Internally sighing, you quickened your pace to catch up with both of them, wincing slightly at hearing the end of Norm’s introduction, “…Wow! You look just like him. I’m-” “Norm Spellman”, you cut in, “and I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, Jake. We went through Avatar Training with Tom.”
“Yeah, he mentioned your names—both, uh, both your names. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Why don’t we explore a bit? Check out our Avatars?”, smiling you nudge Norm to walk ahead. He petulantly calls you a bully but ambles on ahead. Snickering, you head behind Jake and push his wheelchair ahead. “Hey, I’m sorry about Norm. He’s a bit awkward with introductions, subtlety isn’t his strong suit”, grimacing slightly you continue, “the guy is all brains and no grace but he’s good at heart…”. Jake shrugs and glances back at you. “It’s alright, no harm done.”
Following Norm, you find yourselves in the bio-lab. “That’s your avatar right there.” You point Jake towards an incubated blue form in a large blue tube-like structure. A similar female figure in another tube grabs your attention and you head towards it. Your Avatar looks exactly like you except leaner, taller, and very very blue. She’s curled up in a fetal position, twitching occasionally, as if dreaming. You press a hand on the glass. This was what your training had led you to. A step away from your dreams. A step away from Grandma’s stories.
The meeting with Grace had gone as one would expect an open can of milk sitting in the most humid part of the house for a week to smell, that is to say, bad—Grace Augustine; xenobotanist, xenoanthropologist, and Head of the Avatar Program on Pandora. You had known of Grace through her books on the Pandoran flora, so when Dr. Patel—a scientist for the Avatar Program—introduces you to Grace, you’re sure you’re about to faint.
“Grace, I’d like you to meet Norm Spellman, Y/N, and Jake Sully.”
The woman turns around, puffing the cigarette smoke out, and walks towards you. “Norm, I hear good things about you. How’s your Na’vi?” “Awvea ultxari ohengeyä, Nawma Sa'nok lrrtok siveiyi”, the man responds. You and Jake watch as they continue conversing, with you catching bits and pieces of the conversation. Admittedly, your year and a half of training did not center around the necessity of learning the language. You’re still better off than Jake, who you see is lost and zoning out.
“Uh, Grace? This is Y/N”, Dr. Patel adds pointing at you, “and Jake”. You step forward to shake hands with the older woman, “Ma’am. It is an honor to work with you! Your books on Pandoran botany were the materials we used at the Academy.” You lean in closer and continue, “I can’t wait to explore in person!” Grace nods once and drops your hand. Your smile drops along with that clear dismissal. She turns to Jake and you see him move to offer his hand. “Ma’am-”
“Yeah, yeah. I know who you are, and I don't need you. I need your brother”, she turns to Dr. Patel, “You know, the PhD who trained for three years for this mission-”
“He’s dead.” Jake lowers his arm, “I know it’s a big inconvenience for everyone.”
Grace stays silent as she stares back at Jake. You want to step in before the conversation escalates but are too nervous to slice through the mounting tension. The silence lingers between the five of you before it is broken by a furious Grace storming off. Your shoulders slump, all tension leaking out before exhaustion hits you. The emotional rollercoaster of the day completely drained the energy out of you.
Dr. Patel sighs and turns towards Jake, “Here tomorrow, 0800. Try and use bigwords.”
He leaves you staring after him as he follows after Grace. “That went well…”, you hear Norm mutter. “Let’s just head to the dorm, guys”, you say as you move towards the said dorms, “and don’t forget to video log your experience. Don’t need the Wicked Witch of the West on our asses for that.” Jake and you share a laugh while Norm huffs and stomps his way toward the dorms. You turn to follow after him but a hand grabbing your arm stops you. “I saw you trying to step in y’know, earlier”, Jake murmurs, “Thanks for caring about Tommy, he had a good friend in you.” It’s the complete exhaustion and defeat in his voice that makes your heart pang with grief. A week—that was all RDA had given to the man before you to grieve his dead brother. His dead twin brother, someone whom he had once shared a womb with. You smile softly at Jake and take his hand in yours. “I didn’t do it for Tommy”, squeezing his hand you continue, “I did it for you, Marine. Figured somebody needed to give you a break.” A hurried staff rushing past you snaps you out of the moment and you clear your throat while pulling your hand away from Jake’s.
“Let’s head to the dorms, shall we?”, without waiting for a reply you hurry ahead. Jake following after you after a short moment of silence.
#jake sully x reader#avatar x reader#jake sully#female reader#fem!reader#avatar!reader#human!reader#jake sully x y/n#jake sully x you#jake sully fanfiction#jake sully fanfic#avatar 2009#avatar#avatar fanfiction#alternate universe
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What are your favourite TSAMS AUs?
I love @emhm It really takes advantage of the Multiverse in a way I haven't seen done in many tsams fics before. Mainly because it's not restricted by the limitations of VRchat. So they cane get really wild with dimensional travel.
Like... Cringe Moon is an Alicorn and Cringe Solar is a transformer car and they are dating? .....Sure! why not!
Solar's Moon dies and his body is repurposed as a factory default Moon and is given as a gift to the Lonely Sun who was built without a Moon?
Ruin in EMHM is an entirely different character then Tsams Ruin and he's just......... Insane? He just wants to put on a show and torture and harm everyone in the process for complete control... maybe due to the lack of control he felt in his home dimension when his control was taken from him? ......Sure, why not!
Servant Sun and Lord Eclipse in EMHM are an iconic duo. Realizing their feelings really recently and are in a committed relationship. But overall live in a utopia with little problems. The Lord struggling with his own mental health and slowly starting to realize the pull and help he can be for Suns and Eclipses that suffer in the multiverse. Also discovering that in Lord Eclipse's Dimension, the Original Sun and Moon were FAR more hostile to him then even the Prime Dimension... which is why Lord is the way he is.
It takes advantage of Dimensions not being One for one copies of eachother that I just really appreciate.
Just be sure of the ratings. Because there is one chapter that is very non-consensual oral, but every other nsfw parts are consensual. And the tag "poorly justified robot sex" is there for a reason lol.
I just like all the different takes on different Suns and Eclipses through the multiverse.
It has a very large ensemble cast and it never feels too big to me. It puts the focus on exactly what they want to, and when the plot points converge it's very satisfying.
I also really love @kuuchaos Backstage Au. It is definitely a "four main characters" fic, but it keeps it very condensed and focused on the inner thoughts of the characters.
Because it REALLY picks apart Nexus's trauma and the hypocrisy of the family in a way that is lacking for me in canon tsams. (Just due to the nature of VR and having things explained to you rather then them actually happening. NMoon was imprisoned, treated like a criminal, shocked and violated before he actually did anything wrong and I will never that that go. I still like tsams as it is, but this will be something I will scream and yell at clouds for years to come to anyone who listens lol)
Also I am damn weak for SolarMoon you know me.
While "SolarNexus" is nice. I often miss the softness that came with New Moon.
Chill says "Why not both" XD
Nexus has his trauma and his family definitely left their scars. As well as the NSP that got extracted from him. Nexus is a changed person, but he still has that venerable soft side that I loved about NMoon as a character so much. If anything, Nexus is far softer because of his trauma and experiences and the personality disorders that developed due to how everything happened.
I absolutely love their softer take on Nexus.
I also like their take on Sunset. (darksun. I swear I prefer the name Sunset and I wish it was the default, because that's what a Dark Sun IS... the Sun setting. It's perfect)
Sunset is written as a canonical sociopath, but you can tell he has a weird fondness for Nexus. As his plans around him keep changing. He used him and manipulated him, obviously. But he keeps Nexus around just as a curiosity. Nexus is like a Moon he let in his home. He almost sees having Nexus around the same novelty as being an Exotic Pet owner and it's fascinating to me and I can't wait to see how Sunset develops throughout this thing.
I also read other fics. But I'm way behind but those are like the main two I am the most confident about.
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I love the new ask game :D
Maybe "You wouldn't." with Bruce/Jason?
send a quote and a ship and I'll write a short fic!
tysm anon, i'm glad you're loving it! i love that this got requested twice because it was such a fun one. warning that this one is *dark*, it deals with hypnotism/brainwashing and non-con as a result of that. it's *sort of* inspired by Gotham War but is based in pre-Flashpoint and basically my twist on a realistic but fucked up way i think Bruce would try to control Jason psychologically. just 3.3k of Jason suffering. enjoy <3
“Come home, Jason.”
It was a dream Jason had had a thousand times in a thousand ways. Bruce’s hand outstretched, offering Jason a white flag and compassion.
Only this time, it wasn’t a dream.
The cold ground underneath Jason’s palm was real. He could smell the dirt caked under his fingernails as he clenched his fist, panting hard.
He had a gun pointed at Bruce with his other hand. Jason was knocked to the ground, but he wasn’t down.
He was never down; a mutt going belly up. That’d never be him.
For some reason that Jason couldn’t put into words, the gun was shaking in his hand. He never had it in him to actually kill Bruce. But somehow now, his resolve felt more shattered than usual.
“Your home isn’t mine,” Jason said through grit teeth. He could taste his own blood in his mouth, but the fight was already muddled in his head. Was it one of the goons he was fighting or Bruce who’d hit him? He wasn’t sure.
Bruce loomed over Jason. It was a look he practically had patented. Cape billowing, shadow cast over Jason in such a way that Jason felt so impossibly small. He knew all the tricks and how Bruce pulled them off, but that didn’t mean he was immune to them. No matter how much Jason grew and made a name for himself, Bruce could always make him want to shrink into himself.
But he wouldn’t. He refused to hand that weakness over to Bruce.
“It always has been your home,” Bruce’s voice was far too gentle for his immovable stance and shadow-hidden face. Jason didn’t like the contrast. “Just for the night.” He took a step toward Jason, hand close enough for Jason to bat it away with his gun.
He knew this dance. Like a song that Jason had never actually heard, but still seemed to be woven into his soul. A long-forgotten melody as he descended into this hell. Bruce was reaching into Jason’s mind to pull out all of Jason’s worst nightmares about how he rolled over like a dog and gave in.
It made Jason’s lip curl in disgust, even as cold ice dripped down his spine.
“Go to hell,” Jason snarled. He didn’t sound how he wanted to. His voice was too high and it was like he was Robin again, pre-pubescent and looking at Bruce like he hung the moon. That moon was bleeding all over them, now. “I will shoot you if you don’t back off,” he warned. Not lethally, they both knew that unspoken caveat. But that didn’t mean Jason wasn’t acutely aware of every weak point of Bruce’s armor and very ready to give Bruce a new scar for his misplaced nostalgia-tainted love.
“No, you won’t,” Bruce said calmly. Not as an order, but as a simple fact.
Jason scoffed. “Like hell-”
Bruce whistled, a sharp and high note that made Jason’s brain nearly split in half.
And he-
He dropped his gun.
It tumbled out of his hand with his palm forced open. A muscle reaction that felt the same as a doctor knocking a hammer against Jason’s knee to make his leg kick out. So out of control that he just stared at his open, empty hand for a moment.
“What the fuck?” Jason spat out, blinking a few times. “Was that an EMP or something?” He hadn’t been looking at Bruce’s face. It sounded like a whistle, but Bruce could’ve activated some high-tech weapon through his gauntlet or-
Or something. Some sort of Bat-gadget that used a magnet to pull the gun out of Jason’s hand, or whatever other mcguffin Bruce had access to. That was the only logical answer that fit easily into Jason’s mind.
So why did it feel so wrong?
Why was Jason’s heart beating so fast?
He’d felt this fear before, in a dream.
Jason swallowed to keep his throat from closing up. He pushed himself to his feet and tried to grab a dagger from his belt.
He tried. And tried. It was right there, inches from his fingers twitching at his sides. Jason knew he was in control of his body. He could shift his weight and stretch his limbs and crack his neck.
But he couldn’t seem to grab a weapon.
Jason made a fist instead. He couldn’t raise it for the punch.
“You’re okay,” Bruce promised, trying to soothe the panic that was crawling up Jason’s throat. He reached up and stroked Jason’s face and Jason couldn’t seem to stop him. He wanted to pull away from the disgusting false kindness. But he fucking couldn’t. “We’re going home now.” Bruce’s tone was too calm, too even. Perfectly soothing and unbothered by Jason’s growing panic.
“No,” Jason choked out. He still had his words and could fight with them, at least. “What the fuck did you do, you bastard?”
Bruce’s expression changed but was impossible to get a full read on, hidden by the cowl. “What I had to. To keep you safe and bring you home.”
“I’m not yours,” Jason put as much force as he could into every word. All his hate, all his rage, dripped like a venom that was keeping him alive. He used his hatred to hide the fear that was swirling his thoughts, making them harder and harder to make sense of.
Something was wrong. All his worst nightmares of Jason just giving in and agreeing to go home with Bruce as an obedient little soldier were coming to life. Like sick prophecies he couldn’t escape.
Something was very wrong. Jason’s whole body was starting to shake and he instinctively reached for his chest, trying to find what was wrong. Something was lodged deep inside of him that didn’t belong. Something that Jason had to pull out before it took deeper root and he was- he was lost to some terrible unseen thing lurking in the corner of his mind. Whatever it was, Jason needed it out now before-
Bruce clicked his tongue. Jason was at least certain this time the sound came directly from Bruce, watching his mouth move to form the sharp clicking noise. Distinct and-
Familiar.
The fight or flight bled out of Jason’s limbs. His body calmed, even as his mind was still fighting the feeling. Muted and distant now, but still definitely there. Jason fumbled between the lines of a forced calm and natural panic. He didn’t know which one he wanted, which was the right one to be feeling.
The calm was entrancing. Hypnotizing, even. A siren trying to lull Jason under the waves so he would just sink into the current. The water was so warm and inviting, promising an existence where Jason wouldn’t have to feel so much pain all the time-
Hypnotizing.
It was hypnotizing.
Jason vaguely remembered Talia mentioning a hypnotism expert that Bruce once knew but she couldn’t convince Jason to train with them. He thought it sounded like a bunch of pseudoscience bullshit. Everyone knew hypnotism was a dumb Placebo.
Everyone it seemed, except Jason’s body. Which felt like it was trying to sink into the dirt under the weight of forced calm Bruce had wrapped around him.
“How-” Jason’s mouth was full of cotton. “Did you brainwash me, or something?”
“Conditioning,” Bruce corrected. How was he so casual about it? “It took months to make sure you wouldn’t notice. I did what I had to, to keep you safe from yourself.” He dared to run his fingers through Jason’s hair, pulling Jason’s pliant body forward until his forehead was pressed into Bruce’s shoulder. “This isn’t a punishment, Jason. I need you to understand, I didn’t do this to save Gotham. I did this to save you.”
He made the words sound like a love confession. They were the most terrifying words Jason had ever heard. They sounded more like a prison sentence Jason’s soul had been damned to then something sweet.
Jason managed to shake his head. His ears were ringing as he tried so hard to fight against the siren song. Bruce’s body was so warm. His words were barbed wire wrapped in a lullaby. They pierced Jason so deep he was sure he had to be bleeding everywhere. He could taste it, after all. Nothing made sense.
“You wouldn’t,” Jason whispered, almost delirious with how surreal it all felt. His tether to reality was cut cleanly by his puppeteer, razor-thin wires shackling him in place. A promise.
Bruce dared to press a kiss against Jason’s temple. “I already have.”
Jason went limp. Bruce caught him around the waist, easily picking him up to hold Jason gingerly.
Like a lover.
The nightmares of Bruce’s touch tasted so real.
Oh, fuck.
The nightmares.
“You’ve done this before,” Jason realized, tears of betrayal pricking in his eyes. The nightmares were real. They were distant, hypnotized memories he couldn’t quite reach in the back of his mind. Locked away until Bruce decided to unlock this conditioned, obedient side of Jason to play with. Using him like a toy.
Bruce was a psychotic bastard who always went too far.
But this. This was something new. An incomprehensible horror Jason could’ve never imagined Bruce doing. That was why they had to be nightmares, not memories. Bruce never would’ve done that to Jason. Jason never would’ve just laid there and taken it from Bruce. He wasn’t some lap dog for Bruce to domesticate.
He wasn’t.
This wasn’t real obedience. It was forced submission.
This wasn’t real at all. It couldn’t be.
This wasn’t Jason.
He wouldn’t have let this happen to himself.
He didn’t realize he was crying until Bruce was wiping the tears away. Daring to be fucking gentle, like he wasn’t perfectly aware of Jason’s inner turmoil eating him alive.
“Let’s go home,” Bruce said, adjusting Jason into a bridal carry and ignoring as Jason’s shallow breaths gave way to soft sobs.
The worst part was, Jason could feel himself slipping deeper into the corners of his mind. It was disturbingly easy to fall for the drowning nothingness that quieted all his rebelling emotions tearing him apart.
It was easy to give in to Bruce’s conditioning.
Before Jason knew it, he was tucked into the Batmobile, limbs completely immobile as they drove down familiar streets.
The anger melted away first.
Then the fear.
All those feelings left and Jason was just-
Empty.
He was going home.
Moments of clarity came to Jason in short, chaotic bursts. The first one came to him as Bruce was stripping him of his clothes, throwing them to the ground without a care in the world, desperate to consume Jason with hungry hands.
He could see Bruce’s face, now. It was all Jason could see.
Those awful, wanting eyes. Looking at Jason like he was just another toy of Bruce’s.
“What…” Jason’s words were slurred and barely fit in his mouth. “Stop- Bruce, stop-”
“Shh,” Bruce pressed his mouth against Jason’s and Jason was sinking again, unable to stop his body from reacting and kissing back. “I’ve got you.” The words were already so far away Jason barely heard them, even pressed against his mouth.
Bruce tasted like peppermint and sweet compliance.
The second clear moment was the longest one.
It came to Jason with a gasp, chest heaving for air as if something had been choking him.
He wasn’t being choked, though.
He was being fucked.
The gasp turned into a startled moan when a long thrust drove right into Jason’s prostate, his entire body jerking. Jason’s arms were wrapped around Bruce’s back, clinging to him like some kind of needy animal as Bruce drove into Jason’s body. A mutt with his belly up, compliant, like he was afraid of.
“Stop fighting it,” Bruce murmured into Jason’s ear, immediately knowing that Jason was lucid.
How could Jason stop fighting when he didn’t know he was fighting in the first place? He wasn’t in control of the mess in his head pulling him in too many directions.
He was so wrought out that all he could do was cry, anguished.
Jason wanted to push Bruce off of him. He didn’t want this pleasure. Jason’s arms moved sluggishly, but at least seemed to obey him, pushing weakly at Bruce’s shoulder.
“No, no no no,” Jason chanted the only thing he could get out. A mantra, a plea, and a prayer all in one. Every thrust rattled his bones with new, yet familiar feelings that were too real.
The parts of Jason’s body not under his control bloomed under Bruce’s touch. His back was arching and he was grinding onto Bruce’s cock. It made no sense, how he tried to claw at Bruce’s skin while chasing more and more of Bruce deep inside him.
It was where Bruce belonged, an insidious voice whispered in Jason’s ear. Where Jason belonged, too.
No, Jason fought back in his own mind.
God please, no.
Bruce just kept moving and fucking Jason. As if it wasn’t rape.
It was rape, wasn’t it? Jason’s consent wasn’t real. Bruce had made it up.
All of this was made up. Jason would never let Bruce do this to him.
“You’re beautiful,” Bruce soothed, pressing flowering kisses down Jason’s throat. Jason tried to turn his head away but he had nowhere to go, trapped underneath Bruce.
“No,” Jason repeated. He hit Bruce in the chest when a particular thrust made Jason’s own cock twitch and a moan rolled through his body.
Jason was hard. There was already precum dripping out of him.
Would he come like this? Did he have words, when he was completely under? In some of Jason’s nightmare-memories, he could remember begging Bruce for more. More touch, more pleasure, more orgasms.
That was what Bruce had reduced Jason to. A wanton whore who didn’t even have control of his own body. Jason violently shook his head, trying to wiggle more control into his limbs. He managed to just barely kick Bruce’s leg. Not hard, but enough to make Bruce stumble, catching himself with a hand against the mattress. A hand that wasn’t touching Jason anymore, making him sigh in relief. He could keep this momentum.
He just had to hold onto the control-
“I love you,” Bruce said, voice silky and going down Jason’s psyche like smooth whiskey. The burning aftertaste was there, trying to start a fire strong enough for Jason to fight back with, but Jason just swallowed.
Those words were the needed trigger to push Jason back down. And worse, this time it wasn't a gentle descent. He felt like he was being smothered by a pillow inside his own head. Jason was pretty sure he actually screamed before his body was taken from him.
Jason only managed to give Bruce a parting glare.
Lucidity came for Jason again with water raining down on his body. Hot enough to steam up the space, making Jason’s muscles sag.
He was in a shower. Leaning against Bruce. Practically clinging to him like a fucking child.
He could feel the soreness in a deep, disgusting place Jason never wanted to know Bruce could reach. Two gentle hands were massaging shampoo into Jason’s hair. The scent that Bruce used, not Jason.
Even when all this was over, Jason still wouldn’t be able to get Bruce’s scent off his skin.
Bruce had to be doing it on purpose.
“I hate you,” Jason spat the words out as fast as he could. He knew he was going to slip away again.
He knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. Acceptance was an ugly pill Jason hated swallowing with every fiber of his being.
He had never hated himself more.
Hating Bruce was an easy second nature. But this level of self-hatred was new, even for Jason.
He was so tired of feeling it. Of feeling at all.
Bruce didn’t use words this time. Jason’s ugly confession wasn’t acknowledged. Warm fingers just pressed into a specific spot against the back of Jason’s neck and he was boneless again.
Jason’s last thought was wondering just how many triggers Bruce had programmed into him.
He probably didn’t want to know.
Jason’s final moment of awareness came in Bruce’s arms. He was pressed against Bruce’s chest, finding himself tracing idle patterns across Bruce’s skin while Bruce was reading something on his tablet.
There was cold, bitter anger freezing Jason’s chest over.
But mostly, there was numbness.
Emptiness.
Jason didn’t say anything this time. He didn’t see the point when his words meant nothing to Bruce. He just glared into nothing, hand going completely rigid, then curling into a useless fist.
He didn’t want to know how many times he had been here before.
Bruce leaned down and kissed Jason’s brow. Jason wrinkled his nose but gave no other reaction. He kept his body perfectly still, even with it in his control.
“Do you want to remember?” Bruce asked.
Confusion clouded Jason’s muddy senses. “What?”
Bruce brushed stray hair out of Jason’s eyes and tilted his chin up, forcing him to look into Bruce’s lovingly unforgiving eyes. “Do you want to remember this time? You don’t have to remember if you’re not ready.”
Not ready. Jason didn’t like how those two words were heavy and had so many implications that they turned his stomach.
“No,” Jason couldn’t stop himself from telling the truth. Bruce had asked if he wanted to remember.
And Jason didn’t want this. He needed to remember. But more than anything, he didn’t want to remember this. It made his skin crawl.
He wanted this to be a bad dream.
The logic side of Jason’s brain was screaming and begging to remember this. If Jason knew this was real when he was away from Bruce, then he could get far, far away. He could run.
He could go anywhere.
Bruce hummed and nodded. With understanding Jason could feel down to his core, an awful thing.
He’d done this before, after all. The routine was down pat, for Bruce.
And for Jason, it was a new horror that he was going to learn over and over again.
Maybe Bruce got some kind of sick enjoyment out of this wretched cycle. Jason knew Bruce’s end goal, even if he wouldn’t admit it to himself.
He couldn’t. Admitting it made it real.
And this wasn’t real.
It couldn’t be.
Instead of slipping under the edge of conditioning, Jason just slipped into sleep. His body relaxed and Bruce pulled a blanket around him, tucking him in and murmuring something Jason didn’t quite catch.
Jason drifted into a dreamless sleep.
With a swear and a jolt, Jason woke up. His heart was pounding and he grabbed his chest, breathing hard. He sat up, swinging his legs over his shitty bed in his shitty warehouse.
“Fucking nightmares,” Jason grumbled, getting his body to calm down. The nightmare was already slipping away. It was something so ridiculous that he didn’t bother chasing it. Something about Bruce touching him and Jason just letting him.
A snort came out of Jason’s chest at the thought. He stood up, shaking himself free of stupid night terrors.
Jason rolled his eyes and wandered over toward his fridge, mind already drifting to think about the case he was working on, looking over the board on his wall to give his attention to something that actually deserved it.
Like he’d ever let Bruce get close to him, Jason wasn’t just some mutt belly-up starved for attention.
Over his dead body.
#necrotic writings#ask game#brujay#jason todd x bruce wayne#batcest#whump#dead dove do not eat#nsft#oh and as always ty to vega for being my beta. god bless.#I CAME TO THESE SEE I'M NOT DONE I PROMISE#i just had to focus on the jaytim exchange for a bit!#but we're BACK baby#not counting this#i have 12 more currently to do!#it might take me another month#but i pinky promise i will do them all!#they're all so good.#i'm posting a lot today but i'm catching up on some asks <3#are y'all sick of me yet.#accept my content or else.#anyway this one is super fucked up warning. like bruce is straight up evil.#but that's the fun of it.#there is a brief non-con scene#but idk how else to warn it other than like. brainwashing and conditioning#it makes sense. i hope.
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