#monster from prehistoric planet

[weirdlookindog]

Monster Movies ~ TV ads from 1970s.

[chernobog13]

That Gappa costume is impressively large.

[jiminrings]

if-then

pairing: jungkook x reader

wordcount: 7k

glimpse: you're an alien in prince jungkook's planet — both literally and figuratively.

alternatively, jungkook gives his nickname for you to someone else in a fit of anger, and you've never been more upset.

[ fluff, angst, painfully oblivious n dense alien koo, mutual pining (yes MUTUAL!!!!), the glaring concept of not being good n whole enough to deserve love (yikes but i Swear it gets better), mentions of injuries ]

notes: after being asked for literal years to write an alien au, it's finally here!!!! mwah thank u for patiently waiting :D

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!

Jungkook’s fond of appraising things.

He’s fond of assigning values to things that may or may not hold some bit of importance to his life, whether its value proves itself in the present or the future. Jungkook likes setting his literal ducks in a row, and the little inanimate yellow tokens that his brother brought back from Earth serve as a discreet (not really, though) reminder that he may have some hoarder tendencies.

Jungkook’s not really a hoarder-hoarder; it just happens that he likes keeping things, sometimes for no apparent reason at all.

He likes swiping the flashlights that the night guards use to stash in his own personal “emergency” (not that there’s ever been one, nor will there ever be) cabinet, just because he wants to be prepared for a natural catastrophe that won’t probably ever happen in his area. He’s already seen a couple of films that humans have made, and if ever comes a time that Planet Twell has a dinosaurian monster battle it out with a gigantic prehistoric ape, Jungkook’s proud to say that he has a couple flashlights for him and his brothers to use.

In addition, Jungkook likes picking flowers just before they go out of season. His eldest brother’s already cussed him out for it, but he’ll still do what he does best (?), if best means “preserving” the flowers by drowning them in water every ten minutes so they wouldn’t wilt and he’d still get to see them during off-peak days.

Prince Jungkook likes appraising things in his own definition and pace. They’re never categorized in his head for what they actually do, but for what kind of unexplainable fulfillment fills his chest whenever he thinks about the item.

The youngest prince of Twell didn’t like it when there was a commotion at the lily field and the citizens ran out to see what it was about, instead of eating their slices of cake with the fondant that he made out of scratch. Jungkook didn’t like the fondant either because there must be something insanely wrong with itself (or it’s just that he made it just as bad), but he didn’t like being alone either when finding out about the taste.

He didn’t like seeing the tiger lilies he planted himself squished underneath an unknown figure, who may or may not have fallen from the sky, judging by the way you’re wincing alone with no aircraft, no parachute, nor any other person with you.

Jungkook didn’t like seeing you, an alien, who’s just as confused with the entire ordeal. You can’t remember anything about how or why you’ve gotten here — all you know is your name and who you are, and unexpectedly so, the first prince who’s gotten to where you are isn’t so thrilled about the fact.

He’s fond of appraising things, and although he’s not extremely excited about you just as he had been when Yoongi brought home trinkets from him during his trip to Earth (including the very seeds for the tiger lilies you’ve destroyed), he’ll make do.

Jungkook will try and make you mean something, if not everything, to him.

.

.

.

Prince Jungkook has come to learn that you’re part human.

You’re neither fully his kind nor his type (or atleast that’s what he thinks so) and he doesn’t know what to feel about that. He doesn’t know what to feel about only the slight panic that filled you knowing that it’s still unexplained of how or why you’re in Twell; even more, he doesn’t know what to feel that you’re neither scared nor intimidated by him.

You don’t know what to feel either when Jungkook, who’s only mildly shocked about your existence in general, delivers his first question to you and it’s not of the sort that you expected. He looks soft and round, unlike the hearsay about his kind that only amounts to half of you. He doesn’t look aloof and unaccepting at all — if anything, he looks at you like you’re the one who’s cruel instead of him.

Jungkook almost completely does not care about who you are or where you’re from, but what he cares about is if you have any trinkets with you that he could possibly have. Out of anything he could possibly solicit from you, he only asks for so little, no matter how odd.

“T-trinkets?” you squeak, brows raising in surprise. “I’m sorry, Prince Jungkook — y-you’re asking if I have trinkets so you could have them?”

“Yeah,” he nods, lips pursed and cheeks puffed out as he confirms your confusion. “It’s my birthday, and I want to have a trinket.”

“Oh,” you blink once, twice,  a small smile playing on your lips to replace the fact that you’ve been confused for the entire half hour since you came back to consciousness. “Happy birthday, prince.”

“I see.” 

“It’s thank you,” you mutter automatically, coughing lightly when he only knits his brows at you. He’s cute this way — innocent, even. “I-I mean you’re supposed to say thank you when someone greets you, or when someone does something nice for you in general.”

“Okay. My brother forgot to teach me that,” Jungkook hums in recognition, eyes briefly glowing with a bluish hue before he regains his composure. “Thank you.”

You wonder if staring is also frowned upon in this planet.

You wonder if it would get you a mean glare or a sarcastic snicker if you were to stare at Prince Jungkook a little longer without any thoughts floating in your brain, except for the fact that you are completely unaware that you’re already zoning out on him. 

You wonder if it would be wrong for your eyes to take in every single detail of him from his short hair that softly falls onto his forehead, to his supposed birthday attire that only consists of a white button-up, to his gleaming royal jewelry that rightfully so, only looks like it would belong to him and him only.

“Trinket?” he reminds you, head tilting and eyes widening as he cranes his neck to look at you beyond the table that separates the both of you.

“Oh! U-uhm,” you scour your pockets immediately just to present something, and bluntly put, you haven’t even checked your well-being, much less the possessions you have on yourself. You feel more than relieved to know that it isn’t empty, because oddly enough, you’d feel a little upset— a little down if you were to disappoint a prince you just met not more than an hour ago. “I have this handkerchief, I guess.”

“Perfect!” Jungkook exclaims, leaning to grab the baby blue square from you that’s embroidered with your initials that are unfamiliar to him. He clutches it into his hand tightly with a smile on his face, the happiness later dwindling when he realizes he has no clue of what he’s holding. “What is it supposed to do?”

You blank at that, meekly scratching your temple. “Nothing, I think. It’s just there for most people, but I’ve never had to use it.”

“You’ve never had to use it, but you still take it with you?” he attempts to clarify, a slight frown embedded into his lips as he looks down on your averagely prized possession.

“I don’t mean never as in never ever, and I’ve used it a couple of times like everyone else does, but it’s just-…” you trail off, shrugging helplessly because you can’t describe the concept of nothing to him easily. “It’s just there.”

You’re more than fatigued and a lot more confused (albeit less worried) about the semantics of your presence here in Twell, specifically in Prince Jungkook’s office, but the latter doesn’t seem to take mind as he takes you with an open mind.

“Okay. Thank you. I’ll have it,” he announces, shifting his eyes between you and your (his now) handkerchief that he’s slowly and hesitantly unraveling, only to put back into its original square form after every move.

“You will?” you almost snort, a tiny bit amused that a prince is clenching your handkerchief like its the most interesting thing in the galaxy.

“Yes,” he hums distractedly, looking up at you as he lightly scratches the embroidered teddy bear at the corner of the fold. “I will have you too.”

“You will?! You’re not going to dispose me or anything?” you straighten immediately, eyes more frantic and disbelieving to hear that you’re being taken care of (or something of the sort) than just awhile ago when you were unsure of your fate. “Why?”

“Don’t know,” Jungkook shrugs just as easily as you do. “I just want to.”

( ♡ ) 

Prince Jungkook isn’t so bad, and neither is Twell.

The planet isn’t so bad in the sense that although you don’t feel the most welcome you have ever been in your entire life, there’s a recognition that seeps into your bones that some of them, if not most, would set out a plate for you if ever Jungkook came into their homes. He’s the social butterfly of his family; the baby lamb that’s set out into the field to check up on everyone else and act as a mannequin of sorts that’s a little less superficial, and a little more warm.

Jungkook isn’t so bad either in the sense that although it’s the bare minimum to do so, he doesn’t throw his kindness back to your face even in the most critical situations, with now being the sole exception.

With the exception of now, Prince Jungkook has not ever acted rashly towards you. He wasn’t annoyed with you when you kept asking him questions of what it would mean to act as his security detail, and he wasn’t irked either when your questions about your heritage (and his by extension) toed personal lines that no one else would dare cross.

With the exception of now, Jungkook’s never acted rude towards you. He wasn’t as guarded with your existence like his older brothers were; as a matter of fact, he even came to your defense when some of them theorized that you were only here in their planet to act as a precursor for their downfall.

With the exception of now, Jungkook’s never been this cruel; with the ultimatum of his pride over your heart, he’s never made you feel this different and alienated from him — with, of course, the exception of now.

Heartbreak is a human emotion.

The weakness of the concept is disturbingly human and vulnerable. There’s no escape from it, even if the said percentage of human in your blood is barely half and could light a candle to your more evolved, far more powerful Twellian genes. It’s a sickening emotion to feel, much more have it get you carried away from what you have to do at hand.

The grip that said heartbreakhas on you is unimaginable, far more different than what your people, not humans, tell you how it’d feel like. There had already been an uproar when it was announced that you were appointed as Prince Jungkook’s guard, the news of an impure Twellian bearing the coveted position receiving every reaction possible — from fear, to distaste, and even to genuine amazement.

All of the kingdom’s advisers had theorized that despite you of being impure heritage, youwere superior in terms of physical capabilities. With everything else you’ve been theorized to lack at, you bite at the possibility that the ache in your chest is attributed to your stunted emotions.

You feel painfully human. You feel what heartbreak is, and compared to what others have made it out to be, it’s an emotion that you can’t put into words.

“You can’t, Jungkook,” you firmly say once more with your ears ringing, not because the volume of the club makes you want to get down on your knees, but because you’ve perhaps heard something far worse; far more grating, and far more overwhelming than what your heart could even bear. "All of your brothers specifically insisted for me to bring you back before midnight."

They say that your hearing’s supposed to be better. They say that you could see far more colors than what your alien counterpart could ever do. They say that for everything else you lacked, you made up for with the way you’re more physically advanced and therefore adept to protecting the planet’s youngest prince.

No one’s ever said that you’ll be safe from Jungkook himself.

"Jungkook, let's go home. Please," you plead through your teeth, the word you’ve last spoken being the latest term you’ve taught him. Jungkook, along with everyone else, is not familiar with begging; they’re not familiar with desperation so wrung out, there’s actually a word made just for it.

Jungkook only scowls at you, eyes turning a bright red as opposed to his usual pink allotted for you. "Butt out," he murmurs, tightly crossing his arms as his nostrils flare involuntarily. ”You promised me I could be out tonight."

You’re starting to get over the heartbreak little by little, the tantrum thrown by the young prince making you indifferent. 

Maybe you just misheard a few minutes ago — maybe, it was only a fluke and you didn’t hear it correctly the first time. Maybe it’s only your faulty impureness that made you susceptible to just hearing your nickname out of nowhere. Maybe, it’s not heartbreak that you were feeling, but rather only a subdued version of it by seeing Jungkook disappointed at you doing your job.

It’s your fault, you guess. Perhaps it’s the fault of the bustle of the club and the hundreds of dialects you could hear all at once finally got to you, overwhelming you to the point that you heard Jungkook calling for your name, despite not looking at you all.

You’re about to plead even more for the both of you to go back already; to save him from a lecture from all of his brothers and for you to be spared an even harsher scolding because they think you’ve gone too soft for him — but then you hear it. Again. 

Jungkook clenches his jaw tightly, eyes glowing a bright magenta before he opens his mouth.

"Come on, princess," he calls you by his term of endearment for you, yet his hand is outstretched for the female Twellian on his side.

He’s not calling you — he’s not even paying attention to you. Jungkook isn’t giving you a shred of his focus but he wants you to hear him call someone else the endearment he had playfully made up for you, to which you grew accustomed to without fail. He wants you to see how he gives it to someone else easily, the syllables falling from his tongue easily getting into the girl’s head.

Jungkook wants you to know how angry he is over you doing your job, he hits you where it hurts. He has no idea what heartbreak is supposed to feel like, but he doubts that you’d even feel that emotion over what he’s done — and if you actually do over something seemingly simple (for him atleast), he could only think that everyone else is exaggerating what it felt like.

Your heart, whatever is human of it, skips. It tightens and it loosens alarmingly so, almost as if you have no control for the liquid hurt that compromises you.

“I’ll show you a good time tonight, princess,” Jungkook whispers to her ear loudly for good measure, eyes darting up at you, only for him to see that you’ve been watching the whole time. 

You almost can’t tear your eyes away until Jungkook crashes his lips into hers, your nickname easily falling out of his lips as if the endearment is free for everyone; as if it’s never been yours in the first place and you only borrowed it out of desperation.

Your whole flight home is quiet.

Jungkook makes it back home before midnight, but you don’t.

( ♡ ) 

Jungkook’s been looking for you the whole day.

He’s been looking for you since he woke up, and that was fifteen ungodly hours ago when he had risen in a cold sweat. Jungkook felt sick to his stomach, and despite his insistence that something must be severely wrong with him for him to feel that way, the palace doctor (along with every other physician, healer, and reader he knew of) confirmed that nothing was out of place.

Jungkook’s supposedly okay, yet it feels like every part of him is being wrung dry. There’s an ache to his chest that renders him stupid because he feels like he’s forgotten every word, every lesson, and every vaguest bit of semblance that would detail about what he felt.

All of a sudden, Jungkook feels like he’s forgotten what the palace looks like. It’s as if he’s forgotten how tiles are supposed to feel cold on bare feet and how bleak his days are when he doesn’t have you by his side, even if the palace is also occupied by his brothers and the grounds are teeming with staff.

The young prince suddenly feels that he’s forgotten the very layout of his home because his mouth is agape at each room he walks in, simply because you’re not there. He’s practically turned the palace upside down just to grab a whiff of you somehow, and yet you’re nowhere to be found. 

Nothing from his or his brothers’ belongings are missing. There’s not a single piece of furniture that’s tilted askew. Nothing has been taken from Jungkook except his peace of mind and the capacity to just stay still because your sudden disappearance unsettles him like no other.

.

.

.

You’re back home, except you’re no longer dressed in the same outfit you left him in. 

Your uniform’s been ditched for something more casual — something more worn and lived in to the point that it looks like a shirt that’s never been yours in the first place. The sight of you, dressed in clothes that’s not yours, puts a bitter taste to Jungkook’s mouth.

He’s never been that selfish before. He’s generous and lenient as far as a prince could go, and yet he’s never felt this territorial over something seemingly as trivial as a shared garment.

The concern feels too vulnerable to the point that only a silly human, something Jungkook’s not, would consider it as a burden.

“Where were you?” he asks with the gentleness he didn’t think he’d possess after being worried shitless about you, the panic he had harbored for the longest time immediately dissipating at you.

Jungkook wants to be mad at you so, so, so badly. He wants to be angry at the way it was irresponsible for you to be alone because after all, your strength wouldn’t compensate for the gleaming fact that you’re not from here in the first place.

“I was on my leave,” you answer simply, keeping your hands behind your back as if this was any other outing with Prince Jungkook and not just Jungkook, the same man who’d call you princess for fun and hold your hand just for the sake of it.

“I didn’t say you could be on leave,” he lowers his voice, jaw tightening at the sight of you being indifferent towards him.

“I asked your brothers.”

Jungkook feels that sickness again. He feels that tinge of metal that lingers in the roof of his mouth and he wants to spit it out in front of you just to see if he’d find something else that’s not the sensations he’s been experiencing since you came around; if he’d find something else that’s not your doing yet affects him just as much.

“What if I needed protecting, hm? What if something happened to me while you were gone?” Jungkook half-taunts, shrinking on himself despite doing his hardest to appear big by crossing his arms.

“I knew you were in good hands, prince,” you tense, the tide that comes with your tone washing over Jungkook until he drowns in the realization that you were there while she was in his quarters. “I made to sure to hear that you were in very good company before I left.”

( ♡ ) 

Jungkook’s on a self-imposed break from his duties.

The prince’s duties almost exclusively involved chatting and being charismatic in general, along with the occasional goodwill event wherein he had to be all over the place just to take care of things, and not once did he ever take this long of a radio silent break — or atleast that’s what one of his brothers said.

He’s been cooped up in his room since you came back two weeks ago. Despite your absence (if you could even call it that) that barely lasted for an entire day, along with your confrontation just spanning within minutes, it’s been theorized by one of Jungkook’s brothers, again, that it’s because of your doing.

The youngest prince is theorized to be sulking over you and you simply cannot believe it.

You refuse to believe that Jungkook is bedridden with sadness because to begin with, his kind isn’t even supposed to feel such type of intense emotion. He shouldn’t be swayed by you — he shouldn’t be preoccupied with such pathetic, human emotion that you thought only you could feel because of him.

You rebuff the idea that he’s paralyzed with guilt, not only because you feel that it’s physically impossible for him to be, but because it’s him. Someone of Jungkook’s power and influence wouldn’t be so ridden with guilt that he refuses to show his face to you because he’s ashamed of hurting you.

You reject with your whole heart each and every idea that his brothers pitch you. You stay stationary with Jungkook and yet you will yourself to amount to something, even if it isn’t for him, just so the sickening feeling of being replaced won’t ever creep up to you.

You’re in love with him and it’s terrifying.

What’s even more terrifying is that you’re not the only one who knows so.

“I suggest not falling in love with Jungkook.”

You look up so sharply, your neck aches at the speed. Yoongi stands above you with a perfunctory smile, and with just the tiny bit of effort for him to come near you almost makes you forget that he’s Jungkook’s brother who had been particularly vocal about being wary of you.

“I’m sorry?” you murmur in disbelief, eyes wide and unblinking as you take into account his perfect tone.

“It’s obvious, you know?” he smiles tightly, pulling a chair to sit himself down across from you. Yoongi looks relaxed as he takes you in, almost as if he hasn’t spent half a year avoiding you. “I’ve seen the way you look at my brother. I’ve seen it over and over again when I was sent for a mission on your planet.”

You want to ask him why he’s telling you this. You want to ask badly why he’s saying this now when you’ve been certain for the longest time that your adoration for Jungkook wasn’t apparent in a land of creatures that don’t know what love, in your own terms, is supposed to look like.

You want to ask Yoongi why it shouldn’t be Jungkook, but you can’t bring yourself to — not because you know the answer deep down in your subconscious, but because you’re afraid that he would only make sense—

That he’d only solidify why Jungkook should never be in your orbit.

“Oh,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “How do you like my planet then?”

“You’re changing the subject.”

“I’m sorry, my prince,” you immediately apologize, looking down on your lap as you wait for the impeding lecture; maybe even the impending punishment (you’re not sure what it is, but you know it would hurt someway and somehow) that comes with loving the prince, even by the sidelines.

“Jungkook is a wildcard at best,” he trails off, exhaling heavily as he listens for the heartbeat in the room behind you that houses his brother. “He’s brash and stubborn. He’s driven by emotions we are not even supposed to have.”

If Yoongi stands up now and jiggles the knob to Jungkook’s room with just the slightest bit of force, he can guarantee that the latter would be falling face-down to the floor, just because of the way he has his ears pressed to the door.

Jungkook is moping and sulking and to this day, he does remain miserable — the aforementioned factors don’t stop him from being desperate and nosy.

“What I’m saying is that he’s weak, Y/N,” Yoongi sighs. “The strong isn’t for the weak. That’s always been the case.”

“I know I’m weak, prince, but I-…”

“What?” the prince laughs out loud, the smile on his face wide and cheery. He’s so amused with you that his eyes glow into pink, throwing his head back as he regains his composure. “Jungkook’s the weak one. Not you, obviously,” he snorts. “He’s basically a loser with a crown on his head. He’s the one who doesn’t deserve you and not the other way around.”

You’re not the one who’s being insulted, and yet it feels like it. Your throat tingles and your ribs burn at the sudden urge for you to protect Jungkook, even if he’s in no real threat; even if it feels like all the baser parts of you are coming together just to make sense of the way you grow simultaneously weak and strong for him.

Jungkook, the actual subject who’s being insulted and is proving his brother right by being weak because he’s wallowing in his room out of self-deprecation, sadly hums to himself in agreement.

“I’m not-…”

“Don’t refute it — that’s an order.”

“Prince Yoongi,” you relent, trying to find the right words. “May I ask why you’re telling me this?”

“Because Jungkook’s weak,” Yoongi answers simply. “I’m just saying that you don’t have to be weak with him and for him.”

( ♡ ) 

You’re eating dinner by yourself in the staff room when Jungkook walks in.

It’s the first you’ve seen of him in three weeks. He’s evidently moving on from what seems to have been a rough period for him, right when you’re at your lowest that you’ve ever been.

Prince Jungkook decides that after three weeks, he should take you by surprise and meet you in the staff room wherein you’re alone, pushing your dinner around your plate instead of doing any other menial task you’ve assigned yourself just so it would feel like you’re in use.

You’re just there. You just happen to be there and no one, even you, could do anything about it. You just happen to be there with no exact purpose and it’s gnawing at you from the inside out.

It feels all over again that your family is the runt of the entire extended bloodline. It feels that you’re not remarkable enough for your relatives to surround you and that you don’t amount to anything enough, in whatever aspect it is, to get a shred of attention that isn’t pity,

It feels like the sinking sensation in your chest wherein you have to see that all your mom could contribute to the table is her trusted homemade recipe during holidays, lost amongst a sea full of pre-ordered meals that only your relatives could afford. Like it’s how your dad’s side of the family is borderline batshit crazy and he’s the only one that turned out to be good, and you can’t do anything but watch strangers your have for blood relatives belittle you. Familiarly so, it’s like you’re a kid again with your siblings sitting on the carpet and cleaning up wrapping paper from gifts, not because the gifts are for you, but because you just happen to be there.

You feel like the alien that you are wherein you don’t belong; wherein your family has to sit on the spare chairs dug up from the basement, situated on a portable table outside of the actual, solid dining table where everyone’s sat. 

Jungkook sits with you at that dusty, old portable table. He sits himself on the flimsy chair that’s only used for stepping and for laundry.

Jungkook sits with you, not because he just happens to be there, but because he’s there for you.

“I’m… sorry for calling someone else princess.”

“It’s no problem,” you murmur, putting your fork down as you keep your hands glued to your knees underneath the table.

“But there is a problem,” Jungkook counters, lowering his head to get you to look at him yet you don’t budge. “I’m not okay with calling anyone else princess other than you.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“Then suit yourself,” you quip, even with your voice shaky and your vision blurry.

“I’m-…” Jungkook starts again, racking his brain for the limited vocabulary he has that surely isn’t enough to make up for his grave msitake. “I’m very sorry for making you feel bad. It must have hurt.”

“It’s no problem.”

“There’s a problem,” he insists. “I’m saying sorry because I hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“But I did,” he frowns, beyond confused to why you keep denying the fact that he’s hurt you in ways he can’t even imagine.

“You really didn’t.”

“Why do you not want me to say sorry?” Jungkook questions, voice raising yet he still looks confused— innocent, even. “Did I… hurt you that much?”

It’s the last straw for you. The pure innocence in Jungkook’s words is and should be the last straw for you because it only makes you realize that he’d never understand you. It resonates in your head, more than ever, that you’ll never be able to understand him fully either because you’ll never be the same.

The only option the universe provides you is for you to love Jungkook halfway.

“You’ll have to excuse me, Prince Jungkook. I shall go back to-…”

“Can I not say sorry to you?” Jungkook bursts, darting his hand out blindly to get a hold on you before you leave.

“You can’t say sorry to me because all of this would feel real,” you ramble, shaking your head vehemently. “You should not say sorry to me because that would mean that I’m hurt because I love you.”

Jungkook looks at you innocently with his eyes wide and lips parted, blissfully unaware of the name to the sensation that keeps tugging at his chest to the point that it feels like it would burst open, yet above all else, he still dives in head-first.

“Can you not love me, princess?” he tilts his head. “Is it not allowed?”

( ♡ ) 

Yoongi’s words lie heavily on both you and Jungkook.

The prince’s sentiment stays on your chest like a paperweight that only grows heavier the more that you try to push it off. You know Yoongi means well, no matter how his words come across otherwise, but the longer that you think about his own suggestion regarding his brother, the more you feel unsure.

Jungkook’s made complete sense of his brother’s words on the other hand, and instead of being filled with a type of rage that only bubbles up when being looked down on, oddly enough, he comes to the truth quite easily.

He knows the truth that he’s weak despite painting himself the opposite, and he feels it the most now that you’re the one who’s distancing yourself from him. Jungkook feels like swallowing the sun and chasing it down with water when you respond to princess, even if it’s jokingly uttered by his brothers and not said sincerely by him alone.

He knows the truth that he’s the weak one in the family, if not the weakest, whenever he stands next to them. Jungkook may be the poster prince for the citizens but he knows the most out of everyone that he’s not as vital to the kingdom as the others are. He may get an assigned seat at the actual, solid dining table, but he knows that he’s not at the head of it.

He knows he’s weak, with and for you, and that’s never bothered him until it actually did.

Jungkook’s eyesight isn’t as good as yours.

Unlike you, he’s restrained by the entirety of his Twellian blood from immediately focusing his gaze on anything. There’s a lag that registers whenever he fixes his sight on anything, just like everyone else but you, and that hadn’t been a bother to Jungkook the whole time.

He had falsely assumed that since you’re the only one who’s different here, the only exception in the planet by being impure and partially human, you’d be the one who’ll have a hard time adjusting your daily life to his — not the other way around.

Jungkook, who had not once ever felt insecurity before, suddenly feels inferior. He feels like dirt and yet he’s angry, not because of the fact that he comes second to your abilities, but because he can’t do shit when it comes to you.

The prince’s eyesight isn’t good enough to notice the tiny little expressions that litter your face whenever something remotely intriguing happens to you. His hearing isn’t on par with yours because he can’t register the laugh in your voice as quickly as you could recognize his. He’s not on the same level as you and it’s only now that it bothers him—

The realization creeps into Jungkook, slowly yet unsettlingly, when he sees the cut on your cheek; the liquor of inferiority, chased down by Jungkook’s own rage, only hits him the moment he sees that a nasty bruise is blossoming by the corner of your eye.

Jungkook grips your jaw lightly out of nowhere, making you look up at him unexpectedly when you had been only preoccupied with fixing him his drink. The prince, no matter the unmistakeable rage that’s brewing in red, is the softest he’s ever been when it comes to addressing you.

“Who hurt you?” 

He has all his attention on you and it’s almost sickening with the way he doesn’t want to break off. Jungkook’s hand is still on your jaw and his eyes are still fixed on yours and yet his mind, whatever remains rational of it and not just vengeful, is going a million miles per hour.

“Get your hands off me,” you spit, suddenly overwhelmed by his presence and the vitriol that spills out of him so clearly, the air around both of you shifts.

“I asked you a question,”Jungkook repeats, putting is hand on your wrist firmly instead. He makes the grave mistake of looking down, though, because as soon as he realizes that there’s blood caked underneath your nails and that your knuckles are stained with your own blood, Jungkook can no longer hold himself back. “Who. Hurt. You.”

Jungkook’s reflexes are slow, but the moment your bottom lip trembles in vulnerability and pure bitterness, he feels as if time has caught on to the point that it’s only your anguish that sharpens his senses.

His feelings, even.

“If I tell you, would it make a difference? If I’m considered weak, Jungkook, then that means you’re even weaker,” you scoff, eyes trained on the ground with your head low so you could muffle the tremble in your voice; not that it would make your prince any less attuned to you.

Jungkook’s eyes remain narrowed at you, breathing heavily as you only state the facts not to insult him, but to remind the both of you of your place — or whatever is left clear of it because Jungkook can’t even think straight the longer that he looks at you hurting.

“What, prince? What are you gonna do about it?” you spit as the last resort, standing up abruptly to storm off and make an escape for it just once so you’ll be free of the burden of being yourself in Jungkook’s existence, yet he doesn’t let you.

The grip that the prince has on your arm is unstable yet unyielding at the same time, as if it’s taking everything in Jungkook to remain standing despite wanting to hunch over by the unexplainable tremor that roots from his chest.

(It is taking everything in him.)

“Burn,” he utters. “I’ll burn everything.”

“You’re-…”

“Weaker than you? I know that,” Jungkook interrupts, his lips set in a straight line as he lets himself be swept by the current that is you. “All the more reason to do everything for you then.”

The young prince doesn’t even break his gaze from you once, even if his pupils are trembling and his teeth are chattering out of the sheer trepidation that comes with being scared for someone else who carries your heart with them.

He doesn’t break his gaze from you, even for the briefest second, as he fishes out his (your) handkerchief from his pocket that’s there, not because it just happens to be, but because it’s allotted for you.

To love and to be loved is to feel the sun from both sides, and Jungkook no longer wants the star to swallow him whole because he doesn’t want you to be burned.

Jungkook wants to love you all the way.

[floridaboiler]

Things You Probably Never Knew About The Great Lakes.....

1. Lake Superior is actually not a lake at all, but an inland sea .

2. All of the four other Great Lakes, plus three more the size of Lake Erie, would  fit inside of Lake Superior.

3. Isle Royale is a massive island surrounded by Lake Superior. Within this island are several smaller lakes. Yes, that’s a lake on a lake.

4. Despite its massive size, Lake Superior is an  extremely young   formation by Earth’s standards (only 10,000 years old).

5. There is enough water in Lake Superior to  submerge all of North and South America in 1 foot of water.

6. Lake Superior contains 3 quadrillion gallons of water (3,000,000,000,000,000). All five of the Great Lakes combined contain 6 quadrillion gallons.

7. Contained within Lake Superior is a whopping 10% of the world’s fresh surface water.

8. It’s estimated there are about 100 million lake trout   in Lake Superior. That’s nearly one-fifth of the human population of North America!

9. There are small outlets through which water leaves Lake Superior. It takes two centuries for all the water in the lake to replace itself.

10. Lake Erie is the fourth-largest Great Lake in surface area, and the smallest in depth. It’s the 11th largest lake on the planet.

11. There is alleged to be a 30- to 40-foot-long “monster” in Lake Erie named Bessie. The earliest recorded sighting goes back as early as 1793.

12. Water in Lake Erie replaces itself   in only 2.6 years, which is notable considering the water in Lake Superior takes two centuries.

13. The original publication of Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax contained the line, “I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie.”Fourteen years later, the Ohio Sea Grant Program wrote to Seuss to make the case that conditions had improved. He removed the line.

14. Not only is lake Erie the smallest Great Lake when it comes to volume, but it’s surrounded by the most industry.Seventeen metropolitan areas, each with populations of more than 50,000, border the Lake Erie basin.

15. During the War of 1812, the U.S. beat the British in a naval battle calledthe Battle of Lake Erie, forcing them to abandon Detroit.

16. The shoreline of all the Great Lakes combined equals nearly 44% of the  circumference  of the planet.

17. If not for the the Straits of Mackinac, Lake Michigan and Lake Huron might be considered one lake.Hydrologically speaking, they have the same mean water level and are considered one lake.

18. The Keystone State  was one of the largest and most luxurious wooden steamships running during the Civil War.In 1861, it disappeared. In 2013, it was found 30 miles northeast of Harrisville under 175 feet of water.

19. Goderich Mine is the largest salt mine in the world. Part of it runs underneath Lake Huron, more than 500 meters underground.

20. Below Lake Huron, there are  9,000-year-old animal-herding structures   used by prehistoric people from when the water levels were significantly lower.

21. There are  massive sinkholes in Lake Huron that have high amounts of sulfur and low amounts of oxygen, almost replicating the conditions of Earth’s ancient oceans 3 million years ago. Unique ecosystems are contained within them.

22. Lake Huron is the second largest among the Great Lakes, and the  fifth largest in the world.

23.  In size, Lake Michigan ranks third among the Great Lakes, and sixth among all freshwater lakes in the world.

24. Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that is entirely within the borders of the United States.

25. The largest fresh water sand dunes in the world line the shores of Lake Michigan.

26. Because water enters and exits Lake Michigan through the same path, it takes 77 years longer for the water to replace itself   than in Huron, despite their similarity in size and depth. (Lake Michigan: 99 years, Lake Huron: 22 years)

27. When the temperature of Lake Michigan is below freezing, this happens.

28. Within Lake Michigan there is a ���triangle” with a similar reputation to the Bermuda Triangle, where a large amount of “strange disappearances” have occurred. There have also been alleged UFO sightings.

29. Singapore, Mich., is a ghost town on the shores of Lake Michigan that was buried under sand in 1871. Because of severe weather conditions and a lack of resources due to the need to rebuild after the great Chicago fire, the town was lost completely.

30. In the mid-19th century, Lake Michigan had a pirate problem. Their booty: timber. In fact, the demise of Singapore is due in large part to the rapidly deforested area surrounding the town.

31. Jim Dreyer  swam across Lake Michigan in 1998 (65 miles), and then in 2003, he swam the length of Lake Michigan (422 miles).

32. Lake Michigan was the location of the first recorded “Big Great Lakes disaster,” in which a steamer carrying 600 people collided with a schooner delivering timber to Chicago. Four hundred and fifty people died.

33. Lake Ontario is the smallest of the Great Lakes in surface area, and second smallest in depth. It’s the  14th largest lake   on the planet.

34. The province Ontario was  named after   the lake, and not vice versa.

35. In 1804, a Canadian warship, His Majesty’s Ship Speedy, sank in Lake Ontario. In 1990, wreck hunter Ed Burtt managed to find it.  Only, he isn’t allowed to recover any artifacts until a government-approved site to exhibit them is found. He’s still waiting.

36. Babe Ruth hit his  first major league home run   at Hanlan’s Point Stadium in Toronto. It landed in Lake Ontario and is believed to still be there.

37. A lake on Saturn’s moon Titan is named after Lake Ontario.

[tyrantisterror]

Say TT, what would be your top 10 T-rexes from media?

Ooo, tough one. I don't know if I can even rank them - I think I'll just share ten I love.

We'll start with the queen, the goddess, my inspiration, the T.rex(es) from Jurassic Park (and its sequels). An elegant design with so many iconic features, from the angry eyebrows to the overbite and of course the iconic roar. The franchise itself stops treating the T.rex with respect from the third movie on, but that doesn't stop it from being its flagship creature.

As villainous rexes go, I don't think any have surpassed that bastard Sharp Tooth, who channels the raw horror of the most fearsome fighting animal in the fossil record.

Every single moment of the T.rexes in Prehistoric Planet filled me with delight and childlike wonder - yes, even when one got chased away my quetzalcoatluses. It was just nice to see a dino documentary where T.rex doesn't die for once, and seeing rexes be tender and social was also something I deeply crave but rarely get to see in dinosaur media.

For dino documentaries that break my heart, the Walking With Dinosaurs rex reigns supreme. I know it's not a particularly accurate reconstruction (and in fact kind of mind bogglingly weird if you look at the details closely - what is going on with the area where her skull meets her neck?), but the story they tell with the rexes here is so tragic that it's burned into my mind. There's the one scene of a rex howling alone in the forest in search of a mate, where the narration notes that it's unlikely anyone will answer the call, that's just lodged into my memory as the ultimate illustration of romance-based loneliness. I feel that rex, man. I feel that howl into the empty woods.

I know it's not a "good" movie, but fuck it, I love The Last Dinosaur. I love the suitamation, I love how the T.rex is presented as this borderline supernatural threat in the vein of Moby Dick, I love that it actually gives us a T.rex vs. Triceratops fight (an odd rarity in dinosaur media despite it being a matchup that 1. happened a LOT in reality and 2. pits two of the most popular and fearsome dinosaurs against each other - "T.rex vs. Triceratops" is, like, someone who's so hot that no one ever asks them out because they think they have no chance).

There's a Japanese kid's movie about a girl who's trying to reconnect with her estranged paleontologist mother and ends up adopting a baby T.rex, and it's very cute and deeply emotional and has scenes of a baby T.rex in a Christmas cape and Santa hat evading the Feds because that's just what you have to do when you're a weird animal companion to a child. It love it. It's called Rex: A Dinosaur Story and I watch it illegally every year because there's no US release of it.

You Are Umasou is another Japanese piece of paleomedia aimed at children with a deeply emotional story about strained parent-child relationships that involves a T.rex - several T.rexes, actual, one of which invents the art of kickboxing to style over his opponents - and l also used to watch it illegally, but luckily Discotek Media released a blu-ray collection of it and its sequels (called "The Heart and Yummie Collection" in an atttempt to translate the pun of the original title that only kinda works), so now I can just watch it whenever, to my delight.

Fang from Primal is one of the most well-rounded T.rex characters in media and I love her so much, even if I can't watch the first episode of that show ever again. It's a shame that show never got a second season, I would have loved to see more of Fang's adventures in a prehistoric world full of dinosaurs and monsters. A damn shame that they didn't continue it - they certainly wouldn't have made the show be about ancient human civilizations with almost no monsters and a weird scene where a woman sleeps with a caveman covered in third degree burns.

Speaking of tyrannosaurs who get a great deal of characterization and team up with cavemen to fight dinosaurs and monsters in a fantastical prehistoric world, none have ever done it better than the original Devil Dinosaur. He lost all of that characterization and, like, any agency at all really when Jack Kirby stopped writing him, sadly, but at least he had a fun team up with Godzilla before he was reduced to a mindless brute and/or glorified pet in subsequent Marvel stories.

Finally we end with Gon, the star of the manga of the same name, a tiny little T.rex (well, arguments could be made he's more of a generic theropod, but he's been called a T.rex enough for me to count him here) whose anthology series tells some of the most dramatic, emotional stories about animals surviving in the harshness of nature without a single line of dialogue. Gon's stories range from the humorous to the downright tragic, and you can always tell what this little dinosaurs is thinking and feeling without him saying a goddamn word. Also he personally beat the shit out of every single fighter in Tekken, which basically makes him as powerful as twenty Gokus.

[bestfictionaldinosaur]

ROUND 2 ROUNDUP

Welcome to the end of Round 2 everyone! Round 2 started about a month ago, lasting for 4 weeks, and was of course a bracket of all the winners from Round 1! In this post I've collected some data to analyze everyone's performance, just like I did with Round 1!

However, there will be a few more metrics this time, to measure certain stats as they've changed from Round 1. For the purposes of clickbait, I will post a single stat above the cut, and the rest below it. Enjoy!

Highest Round 2 Score (Overall):

1: Cera [Land Before Time]: 88.8 2: Tropius [Pokemon]: 85.7 3: Chomper [Land Before Time]: 82.7

Highest Round 2 Score (Ornithischian Bracket):

1: Cera [Land Before Time]: 88.8 2: Pepperoni [Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles]: 82 3: Parasaurmon [Digimon]: 79.3

Highest Round 2 Score (Saurischian Bracket):

1: Tropius [Pokemon]: 85.7 2: Yoshi [Super Mario]: 80.6 3: Aurorus [Pokemon]: 80.5

Highest Round 2 Score (Megatheropod Bracket):

1: Chomper [Land Before Time]: 82.7 2: Godzilla [Toho/Monsterverse]: 75.5 3: Tyrantrum [Pokemon]: 75.3

Highest Total Score (Round 1 + Round 2), Ornithischian Bracket (and Overall!)

1: Cera [Land Before Time]: 169.3 2: Chomp [Dinosaur King]: 165.1 3: Old Buck [Deadsound's Dinosauria/Sauria]: 156.4

Total Score (Round 1 + Round 2), Saurischian Bracket

1. Yoshi [Super Mario]: 151.0 2. Tropius [Pokemon]: 149.6 3. Meganium [Pokemon]: 147.5

Total Score (Round 1 + Round 2), Megatheropod Bracket

1. Chomper [Land Before Time]: 155.4 2. Rexy [Night at the Museum]: 155.2 3. Greymon [Digimon]: 154.7

Biggest Score Increase From Round 1 to Round 2 (Ornithischian Bracket)

1. Aptonoth [Monster Hunter]: 23.5 2. Ankylomon [Digimon]: 21.2 3. Parasaurmon [Digimon]: 19.8

Biggest Score Increase From Round 1 to Round 2 (Saurischian Bracket)

1. Tropius [Pokemon]: 21.8 2. Aurorus [Pokemon]: 21.4 3. Compsognathus [Paleo Pines]: 18.8

Biggest Score Increase From Round 1 to Round 2 (Megatheropod Bracket)

1. Stumpy [Dinosaur Revolution] 19.3 2. T-Rex [Super Mario] : 13.2 3. Godzilla [Toho/Monsterverse]: 10.5

Biggest Score Increase From Round 1 to Round 2 Overall

1. Aptonoth [Monster Hunter]: 23.5 2. Tropius [Pokemon]: 21.8 3. Aurorus [Pokemon]: 21.4

Highest Series Average Round 2 Score*

1. Pokemon: 70.70 2. Super Mario: 67.93 3. Land Before Time: 67.73

Biggest Series Average Score Increase From Round 1 Round 2

1. Xenoblade: 2.73 2. Super Mario: 2.05 3. Pokemon: 1.97

Best Series Round 2 Win Ratio*

1. Pokemon: 1.0, Super Mario: 1.0, Dino Squad: 1.0 2. Land Before Time: 0.83 3. Transformers: 0.80, Prehistoric Planet: 0.80

Biggest Series Win Ratio Increase From Round 2*

1. Transformers: 0.42 2. Dino Squad: 0.25 3. Super Mario: 0.20

Ties:

Dimitri [The Legend of Zelda] vs. Aladar [Dinosaur (2000)]

Closest Non-Tie:

Rhenoplos [Monster Hunter]: 50.5 Salada [Fossil Fighters]: 49.5

Highest Raw Vote Count:

Tyrannosaur in F-14 [Calvin and Hobbes] vs. Colossal Dreadmaw [Magic the Gathering]; 1106 votes**

*Indicates that only series with more than 2 candidates were considered, to give the data meaning!

**I really didn't feel like tracking individual vote counts for various reasons, I may do that for the later rounds, but usually we get like 80 - 200 votes per poll, so this one is just insane.

[dungeon-meshi-tournament]

Of course asking people which monster they find more fuckable is a good way to get them to say funny things, so I got a lot of funny comments on the Most Fuckable Monster in the Dungeon Tournament. So as usual, I compiled a list of the ones I liked best, ordered by the poll they were commented on. Enjoy!

Barometz vs Dryad (round 1 part 1)

dryad boobs in my mouth please please please you're nothing

Man-eating plant vs Mandrake (round 1 part 1)

getting my dick digested by a pitcher plant

its what laios would have wanted

Skeleton vs Dullahan (round 1 part 1)

why is the armor sweeping?? how are ya'll planning to fuck the armor??? at least the skeleton you could like wedge a vibrator or fleshlight into the pelvis. I forgot this is the celibacy site and fucking is not a real physical thing on here

fools do not see the eroticisim of plate armor

Phoenix vs Harpy (round 1 part 2)

harpy has a tits out kinda look

Griffin vs Hippogriff (round 1 part 2)

Me at first: really? You’d fuck the horse? Me, remembering the barded penises of felines : no wait you’re right

White dragon vs Red dragon (round 1 part 3)

It's canon that white dragons fight furiously while red dragon is the equivalent of that blue hands dinosaur in Prehistoric Planet

white dragon is cuntier somehow

Treasure insects vs Succubus (round 1 part 3)

another tits out kinda look

normal poll matchup. normal poll. do people want to fuck a succubus or inch long insects. who will win

Huge scorpion vs Huge spider vs Mimic (round 1 part 3)

What you do to the mimic is hidden from the eyes of all

The mimics got that dog in it

dark souls mimic resemblances have me thinking unwise

something about the mysterious air around the mimic

Golem vs Ice golem (round 1 part 4)

Same deal but one freezes ur junk off I think the winner is clear

Gargoyle vs Hag (round 1 part 4)

..abusive mother kink????

Familiar vs Jack Frost (round 1 part 4)

familiar is customizable 👍

Doppelganger vs Demon (round 1 part 4)

That stupid sexy cat simply slays too much cunt

Hippogriff vs Fish-man (round 2 part 1)

no offense to my buddy fish-man but that hippogriff is too majestic

Living armour vs Undine (round 2 part 2)

One if the extras has a really perturving bit: Undines fed by consuming liquids with mana. Holm mentions regularly feeding it BODILY FLUIDS.

is wearing living armor anything

White dragon vs Green dragon (round 3)

she made that dragon sooooo cunty and for what

Cockatrice vs Demon (round 3)

you should've put the slutiest picture of the demon. to remind everyone that ryoko -sensei is down BAD

no one: ryoko kui: i am going to make a lion demon that is SOOOOOOO [redacted]

everybody vote for demon! a vote for demon is a love letter to Ryoko Kui

I do find it funny we're blowing the demon whore moments on like, the cockatrice matchup

This manga is so slutty and yet so tasteful in it that you can't really call it anything but great in every aspect of its eroticism

Mermaid vs Harpy (quarter finals)

i am so mad rn. a mermaid !? more fuckable than a harpy!? for shame tumblr for shame

White dragon vs Succubus (quarter finals)

Dragon fluffye!

Chimera vs Mermaid (semi-finals)

sorry mermaid. falin fucks supremely.

sorry falin. gotta stand up for my fellow merfolk here

a vote for chimera is a vote for lesbians

Succubus vs Demon (semi-finals)

Not even the sucubbi stands up to the limitless demon sexo

if you think about it. the succubus can turn into the demon's many forms

Chimera vs Demon (finale)

fags and dykes fighting to the death over this one

Listen man. Even if I'm gay I understand why Falin is winning but- Consider that the demon knows your exact wants and desires and could satisfy your sexual needs perfectly. Also when he's buff and humanoid near the end

either of them deserve to win but demon sweep because that fucker showed up in a dream to me once

teef!!!!

VOTE FOR DYKES. VOTE FOR SLEEPY GIRLS. VOTE FOR SHARP LITTLE TEETH

Mermaid vs Succubus (battle for the bronze)

mermaids can't lose to magical mosquito people PLEASE

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (March 24-30, 2024)

A coworker asked tonight me how Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire measured up to Godzilla Minus One, and I responded, "Almost as good, but in a completely different way." If you like monsters (and if you're following me I have to assume you do), see it, no questions asked. There's about a million of them and they're all delightful. The franchise has long struggled to recapture the specific charms of the Showa era, and I think this comes closer than any of them. (It's the climactic tag-team battle... also Mothra returning to knock some sense into Godzilla). Pure junk food, but you can't just watch Oppenheimer all the time.

Godzilla x Kong tore up the box office this weekend, performing well above expectations. Its $80 million opening Stateside was the second-best of the Monsterverse (after Godzilla). It added another $114 million internationally for the best overall opening of the (still-young) year. China was a big part of that with $44 million; giant monster movies are among the few Hollywood imports that still play well there. With a $135 million budget, lowest of the Monsterverse by a wide margin, it's a matter of when, not if, Legendary announces the next one.

The Oxford English Dictionary has added an entry for tokusatsu, defined as "A genre of Japanese film or television entertainment characterized by the use of practical special effects, usually featuring giant monsters, transforming robots, and masked and costumed superheroes." It's part of a group of 23 freshly-acknowledged Japanese loan words; unclear if the timing is coincidental. Oh, and if you're curious, they added kaiju in 2018. As someone who remembers when the only English-speakers who used either word were in fandom, it's pretty wild to see.

French company Extralucid Films will release Gappa on Blu-ray in June. The impressive-sounding bonus features are naturally all in French, but there's one that transcends language: 17 minutes of extra monster footage. The U.S. version of Gappa, Monster from a Prehistoric Planet, only has about 7 minutes worth of shots absent from the Japanese version, so I'm pretty curious about the other 10. It's also the first time this footage has been released in HD (Tokyo Shock blew it in 2020).

Season 2 of Chibi Godzilla Raids Again is indeed receiving official English subtitles, starting the same day as the Japanese premiere, April 10. Godzilla Battle Line also added a hilariously busted joint Chibi Godzilla-Chibi Mechagodzilla unit, along with a Destoroyah variant. (Maybe Godzilla x Kong units are next month?)

A new Monsterverse movie means new books to buy. The prequel comic Godzilla x Kong: The Hunted is out already (not recommended), but officially you'll have to wait until April 23 for the novelization and May 14 for the art book. Chalk that up to the late release date change, maybe. Unofficially, people are already getting the novelization from Amazon, because they're a monopoly that can afford to pay the fines from publishers for breaking street date. The audiobook version also released on the same day as the film. I don't have intel on what it adds and changes yet; adding everything from the film itself to Wikizilla is all I can handle right now.

The San Francisco Giants are offering a Godzilla VIP Experience on May 17, a long-overdue acknowledgement of the savior of their city. Tickets are almost gone, though I think it's a shame that the promotion is opt-in to begin; what happened to giving these tchotchkes out to the first thousand fans? Well, figures that they'd make getting merch of the Minus One Godzilla in the States a hassle.

[void-of-unparalled-chaos]

Okay so now that the semester is over, here is a list of actual things my paleontology professor said/did during lecture and discussion:

“I've watched this like 20 times now” (Prehistoric Planet 2 trailer)

“Hi yes I am me, an exemplar of our species. A prime specimen.”

*visible confusion while reading the Colossal website*

“Turkeys can be terrifying. Birds are terrifying in general”

“That’s David Attenbourough not a bird.”

“Thank you for clarifying.”

“You’re welcome! It’s what I’m here for! This is why I have a Ph.d!”

“You need to have a healthy bullshit meter to read any paleontology paper.”

“As I keep telling you, life hates us.”

“Look at the size of the head compared to the body. This is just stupid.”

“Look at the butt of that thing!”

*measures with hands on screen*

“This is a stupid looking animal.” (Cotylorhynchus romeri)

"for example comparing femur robustness is ... what does that even mean?"

“You can laugh…this is a stupid looking creature!”

“Then of course you have your penis worms.”

“Holding fossils from the Burgess Shale is a religious experience.”

“It would be a very mossy world, which I am not opposed to. I like moss :)”

“Taxonomy is a clusterfuck.”

“This is probably one of the most ridiculous animals to have ever evolved.” (Whales)

“It looks like a strange monster from the black lagoon.” (Maiacetus)

“It’s a magical Liopleurodon!”

*does push ups on a table to show us how a fish would have walked*

*showing us a video of a crocodile taken by someone in the water*

“Do NOT do this. Don’t jump into the water with a crocodile. It will end very badly :(“

“This was like one of the weirdest papers I’ve seen. Alright so Ken Carpenter is a very legitimate paleontologist in Colorado. He normally worked with dinosaurs but he also decided to try and figure out how mosasaurs swim. So you look at the skeleton but then you also put two undergrads in a pool, one grabbing the other one's legs to see how that double-limb locomotion would work. It's like the kookiest thing I’ve ever seen published… but yeah I'm not even sure how he got the approval for this… I don’t think this was grant funded… “I would like some undergrad volunteers to jump in a pool, one holding the other ones legs to see if they will drown.””

*rants about the size of the mosasaur in Jurassic World and debates with a student whether or not an actual size mosasaur could pull a T. Rex into the water*

“I like owls. They look like they are wearing trousers :)”

"The Ice Age movie was a missed opportunity. There were so many cool animals they could have used and they didn't use ANY of them! There were giant ground sloths that were so big you can stand in their fossilized burrows! Yeah sure we have that one guy...what's his name...Sid? Yeah sure we have Sid but Sid is NOT a giant ground sloth. That's not even mentioning all of the horses and bison and bears and lions! Its disappointing!"

...

"I was on a podcast about this :D"

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey do you guys remember how I said that I was going to use patreon to write up content that would be WILDLY too long for tumblr? yeah. this is uuuuuh a little less than 6000 words about a bad Animal Planet series from 2008 that no one watched but me and my sister.

and here's part of the introduction under the cut for freebies, in case you want a little sample:

If you weren’t a painfully introverted animal fact kid in the early 2000s it’s almost impossible to explain the degree of sway that Animal Planet and its shows held over me as a child. Meerkat Manor, Animal Cops, The Most Extreme, The Little Zoo That Could, Prehistoric Planet, River Monsters, all of Steve Irwin’s work, and truly any and all non-serialized programming about any animal imaginable. I ate it all up, even the terribly boring half-hour programs like Backyard Habitat and Petfinder that they only played in the weird wee hours of the morning. 

Crucially, this programming is mostly of a nonfiction bent. Prehistoric Planet uses a framing device involving the use of time travel to bring extinct animals into the present to live in a zoo, but ultimately they’re trying to teach you some facts about some beasts, and while Meerkat Manor was definitely anthropomorphizing and editorializing the drama those meerkats experienced, it was at least rooted in the very real Kalahari Meerkat Project, which has been intensively documenting the behavior of meerkat mobs for many meerkat generations.

But then we get into the oddballs. In 2004 Animal Planet aired Dragons: A Fantasy Made Real, a British “docufiction” produced for Channel Four that sought to contextualize the nearly-global mythology of dragons in real history and biology, complete with CGI recreations of dragons in their “natural habitats.” That’s all fine and good; there’s nothing wrong with using a fake thing to teach people about real animals’ evolution and anatomy. The Loch Ness Monster episode of River Monsters is excellent for this, as you can tell that host Jeremy Wade (angler, freshwater detective, and criminally fuckable old man) doesn’t expect to find a monster literally at all and is just taking the opportunity to introduce his audience to animals they might not otherwise know about, including the noble Greenland shark. He pulls the same trick again in a later episode where he’s sent to discover the “truth” behind sea serpents and winds up diving in search of the elusive oarfish.

Dragons is… not doing that. Instead it offers up a framing device following a completely fictional paleontologists who “suggests the theory that a carbonized Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton on display was killed by a prehistoric dragon” (thanks, Wikipedia) and then has to go on a quest to save his career by proving that dragons totally existed and he’s not crazy. And he’s not! The piece ends with him discovering straight up for-real dragon bones in the Carpathian Mountains. If you were, say, an impressionably soft-brained 8 year old watching this, well holy shit. Congrats! It turns out dragons are real and nobody knows but you. 

Why did Animal Planet air this? God only knows, but it wouldn’t be the last time they dabbled in this shit. 2012 saw another piece by the same creator, Charlie Foley, called Mermaids: The Body Found which posited that various governments are holding merpeople captive and also relied on the infamously eugenicist aquatic ape theory to justify how merpeople could exist. The CGI on that one creeped me the fuck out, although I was at least old enough by then to recognize it wasn’t real.

Between those two docufictional farces, Animal Planet got a little freaky and rolled out some fake factual content of their own: three season of the TV show Lost Tapes (2008-2010, RIP), which purportedly showed “found footage” from incidents of humans having terrifying encounters with cryptids and fighting to escape with their lives. Interspersed with the fully fictional stories were segments of experts talking about folkloric history and speculating as to how creatures like Sasquatch and sea serpents could be real, which was an admirable effort to make it educational but often fell pretty short. There’s a werewolf episode where their expert weakly offers up that there are tons of transformations in nature, like caterpillars turning into butterflies. Notably that has absolutely nothing in common with a human turning rapidly into a wolfbeast and then shifting back, but they tried! They stopped trying as hard by season three, by which point they were throwing any and every beastie they could think of at the wall: there are episodes dedicated to zombies, a poltergeist, two different types of vampires, and the Aztec god Quetzalcoatl. 

Also straining belief was the dedication that some POV characters had to keeping their cameras rolling. I don’t blame the writers for that; it’s hard coming up with a fresh gimmick for “found footage” in every episode. Some of them, like characters wearing body cameras, are pretty smart; others, like a teenage girl continuing to film on her phone while being hunted by the Jersey devil, are not. They’re very much running on horror movie rules; the characters are as dumb as they need to be to make the plot go. To the show’s credit the dumdums are frequently punished, and it’s not uncommon for every single named character to end up dead at the hands (or claws, fangs, whatever) of the monster of the week. 

Needless to say, as a 12 year old I thought this was extremely edgy and cool. I was old enough to recognize that the so-called found footage was fake and that the acting was mostly very bad, but I liked cryptids and some of the show’s better episodes could still creep me right out. I think geeky 12 year olds who like to get a little freaked out on purpose are probably the ideal target demographic for this show, followed by nostalgic 20-somethings who have seen every episode several times.

(Hi, editor’s note: having completed this list it turns out there are WAY more episodes than I thought and I fully Do Not Recall some of them, so egg on my face.)

[bethanythebogwitch]

Kaijubiology and the interior earth ecosystem

Monsterverse-inspired, but incorporates Toho movies and some other franchises.

Godzilla biology

Hyperfauna, known colloquially as kaiju, titans, giant monsters, etc, are massive organisms native to the interior earth dimensional space that can gain nutrition by absorbing radiation from their environment. The field of kaijubiology and study of the interior earth is young so quite a bit is still unknown about these organisms and the nature of the interior earth. Life appears to have existed both within the interior earth and the planet's surface for over a billion years. As many interior earth organisms are similar to surface life both in morphology and what limited genetic information is available, it is currently hypothesized that abiogenesis occurred either on the surface or in the interior and then spread to the other location. Interior earth life has a major advantage over surface life: the presence of effectively limitless energy in the form of interior earth radiation. This radiation promotes biological function, allowing interior earth life to develop faster and grow to sizes vastly greater than surface life. While on the surface the primary source of energy for life comes from the sun, in the interior earth the primary source of energy is interior earth radiation.

At some point (the fossil evidence is not yet clear on the exact time period), kaiju and subkaiju (a colloquial term referring to hyperfauna that do not reach 50 meters in height or length as adults) began to travel to the surface through the many tunnels connecting the surface with the Hollow Earth. While many species likely only visited the surface for brief periods, some species and individuals set up permanent residence. In prehistoric times, the levels of radiation on the surface were considerably higher than they are now, allowing for kaiju to sustain large populations on the surface. Species that are now known only from a single individual or small population once roamed the surface of the world in vast numbers. As the surface became less radioactive, most of the surface kaiju populations either returned to the Hollow Earth or died out, often leaving only exceptionally hardy individuals in hibernation across the planet. However, very few of these hibernating kaiju remained dormant for the millions of years that have passed, most would wake up and travel the planet for periods of time before returning to hibernation. Sightings of these kaiju inspired many of the legendary creatures and deities that can be found in the countless religions and mythologies from around the world. 

While the various species of kaiju and subkaiju are highly diverse, some common traits can be found amongst all of them:

All kaiju and subkaiju are able to feed off radiation absorbed from their environment. Many kaiju subsist mostly or entirely off of radiation, supplemented by the consumption of other food sources such as other kaiju, hyperflora, or geological elements. Subkaiju are more likely to regularly consume external food as their smaller size means they can more easily sustain themselves without needing radiation. For this reason, subkaiju are far more common than true kaiju and form a more recognizable food web.

All kaiju produce bioacoustics, extremely low frequency sound waves that can travel across the planet. Most surface animals are not able to hear these sounds, but kaiju can and use them to communicate. Most of this communication consists of territorial signaling or mate attraction, but some kaiju are intelligent enough to use more complex forms of communication. Studies on hibernating kaiju have shown that even while dormant, they are still capable of picking up bioacoustic sounds and responding.

Kaiju practice a strange form of interspecies dominance hierarchy in which most kaiju will recognize and submit to a stronger individual, known as an alpha. Most kaiju will only submit after some form of dominance is established, which is usually done either via threat displays, or, should both kaiju refuse to submit, a battle. These battles are known to end in the death of at least one participant should neither combatant submit. Known alpha kaiju active currently are Godzilla (Gojirasaurus colloseus), Kong (Titanopithecus kongii), Mothra (Gigatinea mosura), and Gamera (Hypertestudine pyrovoria).

All kaiju are known to constantly emit radiation in various quantities. This radiation is generated within energy-generating Yamane organs that act as biological nuclear reactors. Kaiju deprived of an external source of radiation are able to sustain themselves for long periods of time using their internal radiation, but will eventually require an external energy source or they will starve. Curiously, this radiation has immediate negative health effects to humans and other surface organisms, long-term exposure will actually begin to have beneficial effects. Many sites of kaiju battles have seen rapid growth of new plant and animal populations triggered by the leftover radiation. Some kaiju species have evolved to weaponize their radiation, most famously the Gojira genus and their “atomic breath”.

The interior earth dimensional space, often shortened to the "interior earth" and colloquially known as the "hollow earth", "Agartha", and a variety of other names, is a phenomenon akin to the sci-fi description of a pocket universe. It consists of a universal space distinct from the universe the planet exists in and is of unknown size. It can be accessed via wormholes that exist within fixed locations around the earth's surface. These locations are usually underground, leading to the misconception the the earth is hollow and the interior earth dimensional space is literally within the planet. These wormholes allow for interior earth radiation to reach the surface and allow for objects or organisms to pass between the surface and interior earth. Locations with wormholes are often described as wellsprings and are hotspots of hyperfauna activity and surface-dwelling kaiju will periodically visit them to absorb interior earth radiation. For unknown reasons, wormholes are found more prevalently around the Pacific Ocean and the north and south magnetic poles.

The interior earth consists of two surfaces suspended facing each other. Geological studies indicate that both surfaces have curvature consistent with each other, giving the impression that the interior earth consists of the surface of a sphere suspended within a larger, hollow sphere. It is currently unknown what would happen if one were to drill indefinitely through either surface, but both surfaces show clear signs of geothermal activity indicating the probable presence of a mantle and something akin to a planetary core. Gravity inverts between the two surfaces, meaning that if one travels far enough above the ground gravity will stop pulling them toward one surface and will start pulling them to the other. In between the two surfaces is a region of consistent microgravity where objects can float. Travel between the surfaces is done regularly by flying hyperfauna and via mountains large enough to connect both surfaces. Colossal crystalline structures are found throughout the interior earth. These crystals emit light in a consistent cycle, providing light for photosynthesis and creating a day/night cycle.

The interior earth is inhabited not just by kaiju but by humans. These humans are believed to have migrated into the interior earth from the surface via wormholes. It is not currently known if interior earth humans are descended from a single migration event or if there were multiple separate migrations. The majority of interior earth human cultures are extinct, known only from archaeological remains. Several surviving ones are known, most prominently the Iwi, who are also known to inhabit the surface's Skull Island and worship Kongs. Worship of kaiju, often a specific species or individual, is common among all interior earth cultures. Interestingly, some of those who do or did appeared to have methods of communicating with specific kaiju, who will then protect the humans from other kaiju. Known examples of this kind of human/kaiju relationship include the Iwi with Kong, the Seatopi with Megalon (Gigacoleoptera subterra) and the Muan with Manda (Kairyu manda). The Elias people of Infant Island have an almost identical relationship with Mothra, leading to speculation that they are descended from an interior earth culture that migrated to the surface. While all known interior earth cultures currently possess pre-industrial age technology, there are some indications that now extinct cultures may have had more advanced technology.

The interior earth ecosystem is apparently recovering from a recent (within the past few thousand years) mass extinction. Many of the largest hyperfauna species were driven to extinction of vastly reduced in numbers during this event, to the extent that many species are now known only from a single individual. The same event is likely responsible for the extinction of the majority of interior earth human cultures and the survivors losing much of their previous technological advancements. The cause of the mass extinction is unknown. Curiously, many ruins of interior earth cultures dating to this time depict a common visual motif: that of an unknown winged kaiju with three heads.

[chernobog13]

My brain is telling me this model would not be as cool as it looks on the box, but the rest of me is saying "I WANT THIS RIGHT NOW!"

[bardic-tales]

Just something that I was feeling earlier. Kind of sappy but I wanted to show a softer side to Bianca when I was writing this.

"You know that my previous marriage was never consummated and he was taken from me by Asmodeus the same night I fell from the rift into the Planet. I know that there is darkness in you, but I still see you. You, Sephiroth."

Sephiroth took a small step back. "You see me? All of me?" The vulnerability in his voice broke Bianca's heart.

"Yes. I see the One-Winged Angel, the SOLDIER, and the General. I see it all, but do you know what I see the most?"

Sephiroth inhaled and closed his eyes before he opened them and stared at Bianca. Through their bond, she could hear his questions. What would she see the most? The monster? The tyrant? The god? " What do you see the most?"

Bianca sat her mug down on the wooden end table. "Past the Son of Jenova, past the Chosen One, past the god, I only see the man that I fell in love with. It doesn't matter what he calls himself or the forms he may take. He is always Sephiroth, the man that I love."

She steadied herself against the barrage of his emotions assaulting their bond: feelings that he normally keep buried deep down, emotions that Hojo had once told him was a weakness and made for a poor SOLDIER.

"Always Sephiroth . . ." Sephiroth echoed her words. No one had ever seen him like she did. No others had ever dared. Then, he looked down into her eyes: his cyan ones so full of conflict, so full of self-hatred. "Even . . . as a monster?"

"You're not a monster, Sephiroth. A murderer, yes, but not a monster. Those things in the tanks at the Mt. Nibel Reactor, those were monsters. Shinra is the monster. Hojo is the monster. Not you. You are just . . . you."

She placed both of her feet now on the cold, cabin floor and stood. Slowly, she wrapped her arms and wings around him, pressing her face against his chest and listened to the slow, steady thump of his heartbeat beneath her ear. Her soft feathers brushed against his sides and back.

They stood there for a moment, as if they were statues. Two broken souls trying to find solace in a world so cold.

FF 7 FWC Taglist: (+ / -) please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from the list. Or, you can simply go to this tag-list.

@prehistoric-creatures @creativechaosqueen @megandaisy9 @serenofroses @themaradwrites

@sliceoflifeshepard @watermeezer

[brokehorrorfan]

Reptilicus will be released on 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray on August 27. Considered the Scandinavian answer to Godzilla, the 1961 monster movie was filmed in both English and Danish.

The American version is directed by Sidney W. Pink (Journey to the Seventh Planet), while Poul Bang helms the Danish. Pink co-wrote the script with Ib Melchior (Planet of the Vampires). Carl Ottosen, Ann Smyrner, Mimi Heinrich, and Dirch Passer star.

The American version of Reptilicus has been newly restored in 4K from the original negative. A high-definition transfer of Danish version is also included. Special features are listed below.

Special features:

82-minute American version

95-minute Danish version with newly translated English subtitles

Audio commentary by film historians Nicolas Barbano and Kim Newman (new)

Fifty Million Years Out of Time: Revisiting Reptilicus - 32-minute featurette with film historians Robert Parigi and C. Courtney Joyner (new)

Pink Goes West: Life After Reptilicus - Film historian Jay Jennings on Sidney W. Pink

Invincible… Indestructible - Film historian Stephen R. Bissette on Reptilicus

Promotional image gallery

A group of mining engineers prospecting for copper in the mountains of Lapland make an incredible discovery when their drilling unearths the remains of a giant, prehistoric amphibious reptile. A section of the creature’s tail is exhumed from beneath the frozen tundra and transported to the National Aquarium in Copenhagen, where it’s placed in a cold room to be studied by Professor Otto Martens and his research team. But when the door to the room is accidentally left ajar, the tail segment begins to thaw, quickly regenerating itself into a gigantic beast! Now loose and embarking on a cross-country rampage, the military are forced to employ all means necessary to rout the creature - now dubbed “Reptilicus” - before it launches a full-scale attack on the capital.

Pre-order Reptilicus.

[fiercefauna]

@tiredsn0w hello again - here is part 19 - 21. Next one, will be the last one - things are bit dicey now because it’s almost over.

To anyone else this is an SCP wiki project featuring 049 and 6118. The Doctor has issues adjusting to a new planet after an alien with an anomalous immune system peaks his interest, and affections.

Note - you can find the other parts by checking my earlier posts. Sp&g CREDITS - @ironymobile

Part 19.

“Something very big’s been through here. It seems impossible but, these things must have been hiding underwater.” 

Seedy shut off the blower as they pulled in beside the mass of mangroves that concealed the grand shelter. “These things? Seems there was only one.” 

“The only one we know about was dead, are you implying it came back to life?” 

“So you’re just going to go in there and explain to a room full of prehistoric monsters whose dead relative was in our freezer that we would like to speak to the planet’s most notorious assassin?” Tasha was silent. Seedy launched themself into the dark water before their sister could object. She decided to leave her dive gear behind as well. Hopefully, if she hurried, her sibling wouldn’t be starting any unfortunate conversations. 

While more aquatically adept than humans, (being able hold breath for 10 to 30 minutes at a time) the One of Kepler still prefer to be able to see where they are going. That there seemed to have been significant changes made to the submerged root scape around the shelter did not improve things. Tasha failed to find Seedy on the first attempt and was preparing to turn around when she grabbed on to something she couldn’t let go of. 

Seedy watched their sibling slide out of the water on the end of the big Zero’s tail, the terrifying gaze of 5a82’s resident Earthling, 049 greeting her. “Not so easy to move around out here, is it, dreadful damp, hot as tetanus.” The Doctor lowered his lantern, put his hands behind him and retreated a few steps. 

“Why are you here.” Five-aye regretted the tone, it sounded terribly rude. Seedy’s mouth was muffled by the oversized flipper hand of the already over-large, ancient Keplerian so Tasha answered. “You can’t stay here. Either the rebels or the Feds will kill both of you in the process of fighting over you and then kill each other and then all the rest of us.”

5a82 slumped on to a carved outcrop, causing his friend to fuss over him. “I’m fine! Try to relax!” The Doctor wasn’t ready to go back, but this wasn’t the right time or place to discuss the man’s mental issues. 

“WE COME IN PEACE!”

Landing lines fell down the shafts of soft light piercing the dome of the root shelter and dark shapes descended from them. 

The amplified announcement followed the soft whir of a Vahwhol’s textured blades. 7cb7 never thought they’d be dropping out of one these things like a meat drone on it’s way to a war crime. The Aven landed beside them, with the grunt of someone getting on in years, it didn’t immediately occur that their own legs had shocks. A small circle of security Twos moved inward.

5a82 approached with a weapon, but made a show of pointing it at the floor, he saw the Aven and just - froze. 

“Simply Beautiful. Sure, the new units are healthier relatively speaking, but the compulsion to chain of command - second to none here.” 

“Is not your dog!” Lover-bird slipped in front of his Asu, challenging the Aven as best he could in his broken language. 

The Aven was slow to respond so 7cb7 stepped forward, hoping their English wasn’t too embarrassing. It was possible all the white-coats learned from private tutors and not a combination of internet videos and Brit-coms. “All this is our fault not yours. Neither of you seem used to being famous so let me explain that you can’t just go where you want without an escort.”

“Airborne intruder!” said one of the Aven’s Twos. 

The little guy was sufficiently back to normal to pull the Doctor into a crouching position, so a small, lighted drone could be shot down. “Is it press?” said the Two leaning over it. “Get away from it.” said another. 

049 reached for his thigh and tossed away a dart. He ran for the safety of his patient and its prisoners as fatigue set in, rummaging in his bag for a reversal.

A glue net was thrown on to him from a dark disk clinging to the ceiling of the root structure. The disk hovered over and began to enclose him in the claw structure beneath it - but was ripped apart and thrown aside by the instance. 

Five-aye saw the Doctor, still trapped in the netting, being carried into the water by his patient but couldn’t follow, for he had to shoot down another dart drone and dodge a second glue net from a second capture disk. Dodging caused him to stick to another. He aimed his weapon as the disk made a pass overhead. 

Three strategic shots into its inner workings sent it crashing to the pavers behind him. Greasing his dive knife with oil from the battered machine he cut himself free of the glue, and remembered, that he had once again been separated from his friend. 

Part 20. 

“Looks like the fog’s rolling back in.” Tasha commented as she was pulled from the water.

“Don’t say “l told you so” just don’t.” Seedy reminded themself. “She’s learned her lesson. We stuck out our necks and got squat in return.” Instead they said, “So - how do we convince the neighbors not to kill us?”

Tasha flipped a lock of wet hair away from her eyes. “I think the radio’s in the supply case.” 

Seedy opened the craft’s storage compartment and was confronted by the specter of death. 

“S-Sorry, f - force of habit.” 

Five-aye put away his gun, unfolded his small body from the cramped compartment and quickly seated himself at the prow, his back submissively turned to the siblings. So close to another murder, so close. So easily he’d drawn a loaded weapon. So many times, right-between-the-eyes. 

Seedy steered the craft into a root shelter and tied it. The Asu did not object. A long, tense silence followed. 

Tasha had to make the first move. “Okay, so you’re armed, we’re not. Do you want us to take you somewhere or do I need to further explain the concept of a hijacking?” 

“We need to find him.” 

“049? Do you have any idea of where he could be?” She stepped carefully over the thwarts and sat beside the small Two. It so happened that she’d managed to miss glancing over at just the right moment when the muzzle of the weapon had made contact with her sibling’s face. Seedy was well aware but planned to drink about it later, right now the continued safety of their world depended on a very dangerous, person-shaped animal getting back to the trained professionals. “We were heading back to the eel farm. It’s full of resistance, but I’m sure they’ll go easy on you.”

“Where else could I go?”

“Unless you have a better idea? That’s it.”

“Just - do whatever.”

Mists concealed them until they were within a span of the agricultural complex. At that point, the loud engine was powered down and they coasted forward on acquired momentum, the fan softly whipping the air.  Tasha put down her binoculars. “Did you radio in?” 

“Five-aye has it.” 

“Um could we have the mic? The people at the farm might think we’re a threat.” 

The boat stopped, turned at a right angle, then began to drift in a new direction, the siblings hanging on for dear life despite the slow, ambling pace. 

“It’s alright.” Five-aye carefully and conspicuously stowed his weapon. “Lazare knows where the Doctor is.” Fuck it, until he had a better name, the big instance was Lazare. 

Part 21.

“Wakey! Wakey!” The sound of 0pt8’s rifle’s casing being dragged along the bars of a cell made for exotic animals woke 4b80 from a pleasant dream about none of this actually happening. What the cell held previously was probably not something Seedy would ever divulge, though a smell lingered. “I’ll give you some privacy, just plug yourself in and show me the empty cartridge when it’s done. Don’t worry it’s fine. I still have a soul.”

Someone other than Feds and Resistance had needed to reach the lovers first, but drugging 0pt8 had still been a traitorous act that was going to haunt. The Two seriously considered imbibing what could very well be a tainted ration, yet if death was in that infuser it might not be a kind one. Letting the victim of an attack guard their attacker was never smart. 

It seemed like someone was trying to discretely remove the infusion device from the bars. Forby wasn’t sure the shadow in their peripheral was real but they whispered to it anyway. “I can’t vouch for the safety of that. There is no shortage of Two juice on this planet so why don’t the pair of you just stop trying to run away?”

The soft, metallic whisper had a loudness despite its low volume. It seemed the words would have been unmistakable even if they had only been thoughts. 

“Need him, he, the missing piece.”

“To what?” 

“Pestilence.” 

“Yes, he was hacked to produce an anti-agent for the Sentinel disease but we already did that. He loves you, and will be much better able to help you with the whole planet at his beck and call. There’s something wrong with you. You ignore certain things as though you can’t perceive them. You work yourself nearly to death, and can’t shut down.” 

“Useless.” 

“You don’t have to be useful just some kind of healthy! This planet is full of people grown in labs for Oseo knows what. We can treat the conditions that arise from that. Been doing it for ages!” 

Where was the guard? Forby had never really experienced a waking dream but there had to be a reason no one had responded to the sound of conversation.

[bestfictionaldinosaur]

ROUND 1 ROUNDUP

Thanks to everyone who participated in Round 1! Just for fun, I thought I would gather up some stats I've found so far. You can get an idea of the individual results here, as always, but this post will have some aggregate data. So, let's get right to it:

Of course, keep in mind that all ranking comparisons are not really indicative of how popular any given candidate is (except maybe the series aggregates at the end), but rather only specifically how much more popular they were than their opponent. So, it's very much anyone's game!

Anyway thanks again to all participants, and I hope for your continued participation in Round 2 (currently ongoing!) and beyond!

Under the cut since I got a bit carried away with the categories...

------

Ornithischian Bracket: Top 3 Candidates

1st place: Chomp [Dinosaur King], at 87% (over Armadon [Primal Rage])

2nd place: Styracavus [Flight Rising], at 85.3% (over Riff [Barney])

3rd place: Url [Dinosaur (2000)], at 83.7% (over Darkyloseid [DC])

------

Saurischian Bracket: Top 3 Candidates

1st place: Amped Raptor [Magic the Gathering], at 81.6%, over Indoraptor [Jurassic Park]

2nd place: Meganium [Pokemon], at 80.8%, over Denver [Denver, the Last Dinosaur]

3rd place: Raptor Red [Raptor Red], at 77.3, over Voodoo Microraptor [Dinosaur Arcade]

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Megatheropod Bracket: Top 3 Candidates

1st place: Fang [Primal], at 88.2%, over Bonehead [Dinosaucers]

2nd place: Rexy [Night at the Museum], at 86.9%, over General Scales [Star Fox]

3rd place: Greymon [Digimon], at 85.2%, over Jurrac Titano [Yu-Gi-Oh!]

------

Overall Top 3

1st place: Fang [Primal], at 88.2%, over Bonehead [Dinosaucers]

2nd place: Chomp [Dinosaur King], at 87% (over Armadon [Primal Rage])

3rd place: Rexy [Night at the Museum], at 86.9%, over General Scales [Star Fox]

------

Top Performing Series (Vote %, No Conditions)

1st place: Night at the Museum (84.65)

2nd place: Google Dino Run (84.3)

3rd place: Raptor Red (77.3)

------

Top Performing Series (Vote %, Only Series With Average Or Above # of Candidates)

1st place: Prehistoric Planet (66.16)

2nd place: Paleo Pines (65.54)

3rd place: Pokemon (65.34)

------

Top Performing Series (% of Matches Won, Only Series With Average Or Above # of Candidates

1st place: Prehistoric Planet (100%), from 5 candidates

2nd place: Digimon (92.86%), from 14 candidates

3rd place: Monster Hunter (90.91%) from 11 candidates

------

Closest Match

Tyrannomon X [Digimon] (49.1%)

vs.

T-Rex [Fantasia] (50.9%)

------

And that's everything I felt like tracking! If you have other questions feel free to ask, although I may not have tracked the right data for it; for example I did not keep track of actual vote counts at all because I didn't realize I should until I had already not done so for several weeks, and really don't feel like doing so.