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talesofadragon · 7 months ago

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𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭 𝐌𝐞 𝐌𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐁𝐥𝐮𝐞

Chapter I - Synopsis: As an Art Professor, Steve Rogers struggles more and more to capture the beauty he's always longed for. The demands of his role and the impassiveness of his students only intensify his struggle. But there's one silver lining in all his discordance: his favorite student, Y/N.

Pairing: Professor!Steve Rogers x Student!Reader/Mum!Reader

Warnings: Age Gap (14 years. Both are adults), teacher/student dynamic, abusive relationship, gaslighting, emotional manipulation, terrible partner, co-parenting.

Word Count: 4K Words

All Masterlists | Paint Me Midnight Blue Masterlist

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐓 was tarnished. Marred by hedonism and distorted by a noxious dose of conformity. If contemporary meant disproportion, then this generation had done wonders in creating subpar avenues for artistic integrity and expression.

Stacks of paper towered over Steve’s desk, mocking his years in the artistic medium. He could count on one hand the number of students who had passed the latest assignment, and he was already experiencing a headache at the additional projects he had to organize so his students wouldn’t walk away with an F by the end of the term.

He wasn’t a harsh teacher; the crying girls exiting Bucky’s office and the boys almost pulling out their hair after his lectures proved Steve’s point. Yet, he was, more often than not, having to do more work than he should to ensure his students achieved the bare minimum.

It was Monday morning, ten minutes till eight. Sunlight delicately penetrated the empty classroom’s window, infusing the serenity of the atmosphere with an angelic glow. None of his ten students had shown up yet. Most of them swapped the first fifteen minutes of class for a few more minutes of sleep as if the Sandman would not visit each of them throughout the lecture either way.

No wonder only three of them had passed.

Steve moved around the lecture hall, placing the reports upside down on each student’s desk. He considered scattering the papers across the front of the room, forcing his students to claim front-row seats. He once implemented a seating chart, which they responded to less than enthusiastically. Today he decided against doing anything, knowing the Dean would never allow him to teach a morning class again.

Steve heard the door open five minutes later after he placed the last of the reports on the desk at the far right of the class.

“Professor Rogers,” his favorite student greeted, her tone delicate and undisturbing as if mindful of the placid environment that surrounded them.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Steve acknowledged, a kind smile lighting up his eyes. His feet carried him to where she stood next to his desk, examining the reports with a frown. “It’s not a pop quiz,” he tried to assure, sensing her rush of nervousness. He stood in front of her now, his tall stature making her look so short and tiny compared to him.

She chewed on her lower lip, gaze lowering to her sneakers. “Are those the reports that were due last session?”

“Yes."

There was an air of trepidation, a tremor of hesitancy in her voice when she replied, “I didn’t realize you would grade them so quickly, Professor.”

Steve’s blue eyes narrowed on her. She had barely lifted her head when he caught the dark circles under her eyes. His throat bobbed, and his index finger twitched by his side, almost as if her tiredness could command him into some type of action.

It dawned on Steve then, the cause behind her nervousness. He glanced back at the front row, where she usually sat—the only student attentive enough to sit through an hour and fifteen minutes of his lectures without falling asleep.

“You didn’t turn in your report.”

She nodded, fidgeting with the strap of her bag. She searched through its contents, reluctantly pulling out what Steve assumed was her late assignment. She cradled it in her arms, almost scared of his reaction.

“I didn’t have the time to finish it before,” she admitted, bashfully handing him her papers. “I know that the faculty allows us to submit late assignments for a lower grade. But I guess, now that you’ve corrected the reports—”

Her words hovered in the air, unfinished. There was no denying the university policy. With the papers marked and the grades entered into the system, it would be a sacrilege to skim through her work.

But Steve was curious to see what she had produced. This was the first major assignment in two months, accounting for 25% of their grades.

He peeked at the cover page, studying the headline. “You chose Pablo Picasso as your subject,” Steve commented, the confusion in his tone evident.

She hummed, shifting from one leg to another. “Yes.”

Steve neglected to read beyond the artist’s name, raising the papers to her direct line of sight. “The assignment was to reflect on postmodernism art and analyze its role in societal reforms.”

“I know.”

“Miss Y/L/N,” Steve challenged, suddenly dubious about her attentiveness in class. “Pablo Picasso is—”

“An artistic luminary,” she interrupted. Dark pink swept across her cheeks. She persisted, undeterred by Steve’s perplexion. “Who has influenced artistic movements even if he were a modernist himself.”

“If you paid enough attention in class to know that he’s a modern artist, then why is your report about him?”

“I never said it was. Not exclusively, at least.”

Steve arched an eyebrow. He unfolded the papers in his hands, reading the headline aloud. “The Purgatory of Modernism Through Pablo Picasso’s Tinted Palette.” The side of her lips upturned, hinting at a dimple on her right cheek. She was proud of that title, her senses lighting up when the words left Steve’s mouth. “What are you exploring in your paper?”

“Postmodernism reflects an artistic era after World War II. More specifically, it spans two decades, between the seventies and the nineties.”

“And what is its relevance to Picasso? He wasn’t alive to see the implications of this era.”

“Except that he was. He died in 1973. Three years after the postmodernist movement made itself pervasive.”

Intrigue rose in Steve’s voice. “So why is he the center of your report?”

“I told you, Professor Rogers, the report doesn’t focus on him.” There wasn’t any bite to her words, even if he merited her frustrations for reiterating his previous fallacy. “In his last years, Pablo Picasso was said to produce more art than he had in his youth. The postmodernist movement deconstructed traditional narratives and forms established in the modernist era, defying societal perceptions and challenging modern art. A wealth of Picasso’s art. My paper explains the impact of this era on his later masterpieces and how his art served as a bridge between two opposing epochs he has lived in and influenced.”

From her first word to her last, Steve leaned against the desk, arms crossed over his chest. He listened attentively, more than he’d ever listened to anyone else in his life. There was a reason she was his favorite student. And not just in this class or university. In his decades of teaching, he’d never met anyone as passionate or committed about art.

He scratched at the corner of his mouth with his thumb, smoothing the conspicuous smirk that appeared. “Did you write all of that in your report?” he asked, his voice lowering an octave to hide his emotions.

“Yes, Professor,” she said. “And more.”

Steve’s next words didn’t leave his mouth. Instead, he watched her head swivel toward the door, where his students began to filter in. He acknowledged them with a nod, returning his attention to her after.

Her shoulders sagged, and her teeth sank into her lower lip. She reached for the report, hair framing her face, effectively hiding her dejection. When her gentle fingers brushed the papers, something in Steve snapped in place.

He pulled his hand away, straightening up his posture. He leveled her with his gaze, examining her widened eyes and parted lips.

“I apologize, Miss Y/L/N. You’re right. I’ll revisit your paper and reevaluate your grade,” Steve raised his voice, its tenderness reverberating across the entire room.

He pushed away from the desk, motioning for her to take her seat. A gentle smile graced his features, and he was pleased to find one that equally mirrored his drawn across her face. Two dimples, he noticed, she possessed. One on each cheek.

More students had piled in when he placed her papers in his file to correct. He wondered if he should assign them a passage to read or an artwork to critique while he consumed her words and journeyed through her thoughts.

In the end, he cleared his throat, ready to begin the lecture. But he couldn’t deny that she never evaded his focus throughout it all.

He didn’t see her until the following week. Her paper burned a hole in his folders, calling for attention. She had missed the last class, and he had more to say than an email could adequately express.

When she arrived, another student was sitting in the classroom. That didn’t deter Steve from wanting to approach her. However, her attention was fixed on the easels he had set up, her feet already carrying her to a stool.

She placed her bag on the floor and eagerly examined the empty palette before her. Small paint tubes sat there, four different colors of Steve’s choosing. The blue caught her eye—a dark sapphire she twirled in her hand, mesmerized. Steve had never given much thought to the color blue. It was omnipresent—in the skies, the seas, and the irises of his eyes. He had been so accustomed to it, seeing it every day, that he almost forgot how fascinating it was. That is until he saw it through her eyes.

The class started quickly after. The theme was conceptual art. In response to their earlier results, this activity would be graded—a nudge to their receding grades. But there was a catch. They only had four colors to work with.

Almost everyone asked for Steve’s guidance, raising their hands to inquire about the colors their mix yielded or the process of creating their paintings. All his students asked for his attention, yet she was the only one to whom he offered it without a prior request.

Even as he moved through the rows of easels and stools, his eyes would deviate to catch her pursed lips and placid expression as she painted to her heart’s desire. While her attention never wavered from her work, his followed her movements, tracing the patterns of her wrist and the swirls of her brush against her minimalistic palette.

The class soon came to a halt. He used the few remaining minutes to dismiss those who wished to turn in their work. Students packed up, stumbling over each other to head to their next class while Steve gracefully maneuvered to her side.

"I gave you four colors to choose from," Steve remarked as he set his sights on her painting. She didn’t flinch, unbothered by his presence over her shoulder. "Why haven’t you used them to create others?"

"I have all the colors I need right here," she replied, her brush waltzing across the canvas, leaving behind swirls of silver—like a trail of shooting stars across the midnight sky, which, coincidentally, happened to be the color of her canvas.

"What did you paint there, Miss Y/L/N?" Steve asked, watching her write her name on the edge of her canvas. A small “Y/N” with the first letter of her last name next to it.

"What do you think this is, Professor Rogers?" she deflected, placing her palette neatly aside but never tearing her eyes away from her work.

"It’s your art, Miss Y/L/N. The right answer lies with you."

"Is there truly ever a right answer when it comes to art?"

Steve chewed on the inside of his cheek, preventing himself from grinning. "No," he admitted. "And yet, an artist yearns for the rare chance their art whispers all its secrets to someone."

Y/N chuckled, finally taking him in. There were streaks of silver and yellow painted on her face, her fingertips covered in paint. She didn’t seem to mind as she casually reached out for a towel to clean herself. It was almost as if she was the masterpiece herself.

Stop, Steve berated himself mentally, his thought catching him off guard. Why the hell did you think that?

“It’s a memory blueprint,” Y/N’s voice pulled him out of his head. She gestured to the swirls of blue and silver, imperceptible yellow dots glistening like gilded droplets across the canvas.

“Interesting,” Steve hummed. He wondered if he suspected she’d get the highest grade. He had never seen his students reflect so vividly on an experience. “Why conceptualize this?”

Wistfulness illuminated her features, molding her pride into yearning and peace into tumult. She shrugged, refraining from examining her work any longer.

“Blue is my favorite color. I’d like to say there was a thought process behind this piece, but from the first stroke till the last, I don’t believe I was in control of my thoughts nor my emotions.”

Steve hummed, unable to tear himself away from the painting. If the paint had dried, he would’ve traced his fingers across the shapes Y/N had drawn. He’d always been inclined to art, a thirst he would never satiate. But certain works, Steve knew, were best admired from afar. Especially those sparse masterpieces, easily tinted by insensitive hands. Especially her.

“I corrected your report,” Steve swiftly changed the subject. He headed toward his desk, pulling out her report. Y/N followed diligently after him. “What you wrote about was not what I had expected. But it’s very typical of you to challenge expectations, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Y/N replied shyly, her hunched lashes constricting Steve’s view of her eyes.

He fished out her report, extending it her way. “I like the way you think, Miss Y/L/N. I don’t remember reading such a clever work by any of my students before. This merited an A. But, unfortunately, since this was turned in late—”

“You don’t need to continue, Professor,” Y/N interjected, taking the papers from his hand. Their fingers brushed in her haste. She pulled her hand away as soon as she realized, continuing her previous argument before Steve could process the gentleness of her touch. “I’m very thankful that you corrected my assignment. Other teachers would have failed me for this late of a submission.”

“Still, Miss Y/L/N. You’ve been excelling greatly in my class. You deserve higher than this grade, which is why I want to offer you the chance to assist me for some extra credit.”

“Assist you?” Her brows knitted together. “With what, Sir?”

“The department is hosting an exhibition next week,” Steve began, his tone inviting. “I need a couple of students to volunteer during the evening. I’d highly value your assistance.”

Y/N's expression became troubled. “I can’t, Professor. I won’t be able to make it in the evening,” she replied, her voice soft.

“You didn’t ask what day,” Steve remarked, his head tilted to the side.

Y/N looked down, her voice barely above a whisper. “I can’t on any day, Professor. I’d be glad to assist you in the morning, but I can’t in the evening.”

Steve studied her for a moment, sensing there was more behind her refusal, but he didn’t press further. He acquiesced, acknowledging her statement with a soft smile. “Understood, Miss Y/L/N. I appreciate your honesty.”

Y/N hugged her papers to her chest and offered a faint smile before turning to leave. She didn’t even glance down at the B+ she had received. The B+ Steve felt bad for giving her.

“I think she’s in trouble,” Steve voiced, his eyes finally leaving the sketch he had been working on in his small sketchbook.

Bucky’s forehead creased while he sipped his iced coffee. Whether he was confused by the remark or the fact that he actually liked a beverage Sam had suggested to him, Steve did not know. Maybe it was a bit of both.

“And we’re talking about?”

“Miss Y/L/N.”

“Ah, the star student,” Bucky realized, clicking his fingers as if he had just come up with the most ingenious idea for his next midterm exam. “She doesn’t have to be in trouble, you know. When she took my Introduction to Ancient World History, I learned that her classes are scheduled between eight in the morning and midday. She’s tied up after. Probably with work.”

“I think there’s more to it than that.”

“Steve,” Bucky elongated the “e,” almost whining.

Steve stood up from his spot on the ground, dusting grass off his cream-colored trousers. “Hear me out. She turned in her last assignment late. She had the chance to get an A if she volunteered for an event, and she refused.”

“An event which took place in the evening when she probably has work. Which, if you think about it, is a plausible reason for her late assignments.”

“If you say she finishes classes at midday, then she has enough time to get to work at night—”

“Maybe she has a shift before that,” Bucky interjected. He sipped his iced coffee and walked ahead, distancing himself from Steve. “And she uses the rest of the evening to study.”

Steve caught up to Bucky. “Look,” he said, placing his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “She skipped two lectures in the past week and a half, and just yesterday, she took a call in the middle of class.”

Bucky gasped, his palm laying flat on his chest where his heart lay beneath his fingertips. “Oh, what a dreadful turn of events. Are you sure you’re teaching art? Because I’m starting to think the early program has led you to sleepwalk your way into the drama department.”

Steve groaned, the sound of his irritation overriding Bucky’s scoff.

“She wanted to take the call. I... I admit I was on edge about her absence and her... inclination to dismiss my class in favor of that call—”

“Please don’t tell me you’ve been spending your breaks with Laufeyson. Only the delusional would start treating their lives like a Shakespearean melodrama.”

“What the hell does that even have to do with what I’m saying?”

“On edge about her absence. A sense of yearning for her attention,” Bucky mocked, a shudder overtaking him that had nothing to do with the coffee in his hands.

“Have you even been hearing anything beyond the thoughts in your head?”

“They’re certainly more entertaining than the thoughts in yours.”

The argument was getting tiring. A loud exhale escaped Steve before he rubbed his face. He knew that the subject of this conversation might not have made much sense, but there was something Steve was sensing that Bucky dismissed altogether.

“I told her that if she took the call, she should leave,” Steve explained, turning back to find Bucky’s attention already on him. “It was harsh, but I couldn’t afford to have her so distracted. She returned to her seat, and I thought she would stay. But she gathered her belongings and left the class.”

“There must’ve been an emergency, then. It happens,” Bucky conceded.

“I know. I suppose. I just…” Steve trailed off, uncertain of his next words.

Bucky noticed his sudden silence and spoke up. “You’re an altruistic blockhead, Rogers.” Steve chuckled at the words. “Don’t overthink it. I know you see a lot of potential in her, and she truly is a remarkable student. But maybe you’re reading too much into it.”

“You’re probably right,” Steve admitted, even though, deep down, he didn’t believe it.

“Besides, she’s not even an art student. Clearly, this is just a hobby for her.”

“Wait, what?” Steve spun around so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

Bucky had just about finished his coffee, sighing as he looked down at it, realizing he couldn’t distract himself with it any longer. “Don’t you ask your students what they study on the first day of classes?”

Steve gave Bucky a bemused look. “Not in Contemporary Art Practice. It’s a class that only the creative students take. There are several prerequisites for it.”

“Clearly the lawyers have made their way into it if Miss Y/L/N is any indication.”

A sharp gasp escaped Steve before he had the chance to reel it in. He stared dumbfounded at Bucky as if the man had grown two heads. “She’s... she’s a law student?”

Bucky hummed as he casually discarded his empty coffee cup, circumventing children running freely in the park. “She’s a sophomore. In the Law Department with Hill.”

“She doesn’t strike me as a law student. She’s...”

“Gentle? Kind? A battered, tortured soul? Believe me, I was surprised when she told me about her field of study last semester.”

“Back up,” Steve commanded, mind reeling from the influx of the latest information. “She’s a sophomore? But her ID number dates four years back—don’t give me that look. I don’t remember her ID number, but I only have a handful of students in that class, and I know that none of them are supposed to be sophomores. This doesn’t add up.”

The latest revelations left Steve in a haze, his thoughts consuming his mind and leaving him unaware of his surroundings. He reminisced about his interactions with Y/N, his artistic senses flaring at the details inhabiting her being. Her eyes lacked the usual innocent luster etched on the contours of young adults’ irises, and she certainly did not possess the natural naivety and abstraction they were renowned to express.

Y/N was grounded. Mature for her age, yet burdened with both torment and gentleness that painted her with the most enchanting colors.

His mind swirled with images of her, so much so that he wasn’t paying attention as he walked forward. Steve heard a soft gasp, followed by one escaping his own lips. He halted, scanning ahead before slowly peering down to where a young girl stood, her milkshake cup empty and its contents dripping down her lilac shirt.

“I am so sorry,” Steve breathed, rushing to kneel down at the girl’s level. But before he could ask if she was alright, another voice cut in.

“Can’t you watch where you’re going?!”

Steve lifted his head, spotting a young man behind the girl. His demeanor was laced with anger, and Steve imagined he would feel just as upset if his daughter had been nearly harmed. If that drink had been anything hotter than a milkshake... Steve didn’t want to think about what might have happened.

He cleared his throat, preparing to apologize to the stranger, when the man harshly tugged the little girl’s hand, causing her to yelp.

“You’ve been walking for three years, and you still bump into people like you just learned to walk yesterday!”

“I...” the child whimpered, her eyes darting around the park until they settled on Steve. “I’m s-sorry.”

Steve’s breath hitched, his fingers twitching. Beside him, Bucky glanced over, his gaze hardening as he observed the scene. Steve’s heart wrenched, unsure if it was the girl’s innocent regret, the man’s sharp rebuke, or a haunting familiarity that stirred within the sweet child’s eyes. He had studied that sadness, etching it into his memory. It seemed indelible now.

“Sure, you are,” the pathetic excuse for a man grumbled. “It’s me who should feel sorry. For myself. Clearly, you get your carelessness from your mother.”

“Better my carelessness than your brashness, Paul.”

If Steve had doubted his instincts before, now he was certain they were right all along. He exchanged glances with Bucky, who shared the bemusement which crossed his face. Tentatively, Steve focused on the scene before him—a distressed young girl, a callous young man, and now, a woman—who seemed poised for conflict and upheaval, even though he had always perceived her as too gentle and delicate to harm anyone.

She squared her shoulders, extending a hand to get the younger girl’s attention. “Hands off Nyla, immediately.” Her lips curled into a defiant smirk, her voice steady yet tinged with underlying turmoil. “Or I will remove your entire arm from its place and make sure you cannot touch anyone, let alone yourself, ever again.”

The man loosened his grip, whether from fear or some other reason, Steve couldn’t tell. As soon as his hold relaxed, the young girl—Nyla—ran to the woman's side.

“Mama!” she cried, just as Bucky uttered a name Steve was too stunned to articulate.

“Miss Y/L/N?”

This has been sitting in my inbox for months! I originally wanted it to be a one-shot, but God knows brevity is not my forte. We're in it for the long haul, baby! (Like 5 parts. Fret not.)

Thank you @crazyunsexycool for this splendid idea!!

This work is also part of my writing celebration.

#captain america #captain america x reader #captain america x female reader #marvel fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #marvel mcu #avengers #the avengers #professor!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x single mom!reader #age gap steve rogers #girl dad!steve rogers #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #professor steve rogers x student reader

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dreeeve · 10 months ago

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This one I got permission to share!

By my close friend @kuraichanz ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

some ramblings under cut

been having a real crabbing bad week (it’s Monday) but I’ve now received 3 pieces of Dreefrin art without even asking for it and they’ve all helped give me small but VERY appreciated doses of joy.

I’m revving up to putting together a Siffrin cosplay! I’ve been recommended linen for the cloak but I want it to be softer and warmer. (Also linen feels like it’ll itch,,) If anyone reading this has other suggestions, er, reply ig? /nf

Also going to be dyeing my hair next month :D debating on getting a “reverse sif” in like dyeing the tips white or going all out and almost completely bleaching my hair. One is easier to live with the other is cooler, I think.

#not my art #friend art!!!#thank you again kurai and kal (not posted) for the dreefrins I love him smsmsm #dramble #isat

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ferdrawsspookymonthoc · 3 months ago

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Hello and welcome!

yo! my names ferf and i love to draw spooky month characters and ocs! so here is a place were you can send yer ocs for me to draw thats it thats the whole blog... but as with anything there are rules so please follow them

you can ask me to draw them doing or saying something just nothing homophobic or racist or nsfw

if you wanna send me an oc again but doing something else thats fine just not too many times

DO NOT ASK ME TO DRAW NSFW flirting maybe but nothing suggestive or full on, not only dose it make me EXTREAMLY uncomfortable but i am also a minor

if its oc x cannon or just a ship and no ocs thats fine! just as long as its not any inappropriate or predatory ships such as adult x minor or sibling x sibling, block me so i dont have to know that you even exist

finally i am a beginner artist and this is like practice for me in a way i also dont have a phone or a good camera so my photos are gonna be assy laptop pics so if you dont like my art or anything i dont care, your kinda doing a thing known as not paying me so you get what you get

i am only on friday-sunday so if you send an oc on like a monday or something your gonna have to wait

now leave your balls at the door and hand me yer child

#spooky month #spooky month oc #spooky month au #ferf draws

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pteroducktyll · 1 year ago

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FtM Hysto Recovery + Tips (Plus general tips for dealing with low/no spoons or recovering from any surgery)

I haven't been on Tumblr for years, but recently re-joined to check out art, as I start to work on getting my idea for a graphic novel off the ground (as well as getting serious about improving my art again). However, I'm hoping these first few posts get found by an entirely different audience. This is being written in 2023.

I'm going in for a laparoscopic hysterectomy on Thursday (today is Monday) and want to share my experience, as much as spoons will allow, so that other people can hopefully benefit in the future. I, personally, have struggled to find things online that fit my situation as a trans man with a history of pre-cancerous pap smears, abnormal bleeding, PID and ovarian cysts (but not PCOS). Although hysterectomies for "GRS" or gender affirming surgery purposes are easy to get where I live, mine in particular is primarily being done to avoid cancer and to stop the abnormal bleeding and random debilitating pain that comes out of nowhere every few years and upends my life for weeks/months. So if you're someone facing the prospect of a laparoscopic hysterectomy, regardless of your gender identity, and have a history of medical issues (but not PCOS or endometriosis) in your reproductive region, this blog may help you! Or, alternatively, if you're a trans man looking to get a laparoscopic hysterectomy, whether or not you've had issues in that region, this might help you, too!

It should be noted that this is written from the perspective of someone in their 30s with a complicated medical history, including Type 2 Diabetes and a very rare kidney disease (which has an average life expectancy of 29 years for men, but we aren't sure how it affects trans men), so the pre-surgery process I've been through is not the typical one. I also have chronic pain and know from my past experiences with very severe pain that a) I have a low tolerance for any pain beyond what I deal with day-to-day and b) I have a high tolerance for opiate pain medication, which means it takes a higher dose for me to address the level of pain that a lower dose would address in someone else. These both affect the length of time that I'll likely need to be on painkillers, and how functional I'll be while I'm on them. This, in turn, affects how quickly I'll be able to do things like return to work and driving.

I should also note that although it's common in some places for this surgery to be completed as day surgery, my jurisdiction almost always keeps people in overnight; this is because it takes almost 24 hours for the anesthetic to work its way out of your system, and until it does they won't have a true indication of your pain levels and, therefore, won't be able to make sure it's adequately controlled before sending you home. It's much easier (in my experience, and according to the doctors!) to stop you from having pain in the first place than to get it under control once you do.

Also, I live with my partner and a roommate, and my retired parents are about 90 minutes away and have a guest room. My support network isn't huge, but it's high quality. My partner managed to get 3 days off work for my surgery and the 2 days following, and after that is on a light workload for about a week in case she needs to take care of me. She also has a lot of flexibility with her job, and her boss really likes me, so if there are complications or she needs to spend more time at home to look after me, I don't think it's completely out of the question. All of this is to say that I'm going into this surgery from a very privileged place, in terms of not having to do much to look after myself in the aftermath. My surgeon did advise me, however, to take 1 week (for sure) off work if I could, and that I may need a second week. My work consists of two research jobs that draw heavily on my brain power, but don't require me to move around at all, especially as I work from home, so the issue is the painkillers, rather than actual healing time. Other jobs will require different amounts of time off work.

Because I'm neurodivergent and like to have as many details as possible about ... literally everything, I'm going to make this as detailed as I can. Essentially, I'm hoping to share everything I know and experience without leaving anything out. If it's too much detail for you, I'm going to be doing my best to include useful headers.

Notification of Surgery & Lead-up

I received notice about my surgery just over a month before my surgery date; it was around June 26th that I was emailed and told my surgery would be on August 3rd. I had previously met my surgeon in January, and was told it would be a 6-8 month wait until surgery. Between that appointment and being given my surgery date, I'd had bloodwork done, as well as an internal ultrasound. I've had several internal ultrasounds before and while they are far from pleasant, they are not as dysphoria-inducing for me as they are for other trans men, I'm sure. I am more physically uncomfortable during them than mentally/spiritually uncomfortable.

In the notification email, my surgeon sent additional attachments; about 200 pages of information from a) their office specifically and b) the health authority [one document about hysterectomies, one document about recovering from surgery in general]. These documents answered most of my questions, and also had instructions about fasting, pre-surgery instructions (there's a special sponge I have to buy and use the night before surgery and the morning of surgery) and recovery information. The documents were very generic, and because they came from different sources, the information was sometimes contradictory. I, personally, took the information on board in this order of trustworthiness:

Things my surgeon had said in-person during my consultation appointment in January

Things included in the information from my surgeon's office directly

Things included in the documents from the health authority

If there were contradictions that seemed extremely important (e.g. one document said to wash everything my face with the special sponges, while another said, in all caps, to absolutely NOT wash my head or face with the sponges), I followed-up with the surgeon's office or the most appropriate person (e.g. pharmacist).

Pre-surgery Appointments

Because of my medical history (diabetes and Alport's Syndrome), I had an extra step in here. My surgeon required me to have a consultation with my internal medicine doctor's clinic (but not with my specialist) to get the all-clear and make sure my risk level wasn't too high. This doctor made some assumptions about the medications I'm taking, which led him to think I had both diabetes and a heart condition, which would have put me in a much higher risk category. Because of that, he ordered extra bloodwork, and an ECG, and booked a follow-up with me for a few days later. That initial appointment with him ended on the assumption that the surgery likely would be postponed. However, the bloodwork and ECG all came back fine, and at the follow-up he gave me the all-clear and said my risk wasn't very high at all.

I had a few other pre-surgery appointments.

One was with the surgeon. In my case, the doctor actually doing my surgery is a resident colleague of the surgeon I initially consulted with. Now that I had a specific date for the surgery, and my life situation had changed a bit since the consultation (e.g. work), I asked to meet with the surgeon to ask questions that had come up since the initial consultation, and so that I could meet the person who would be cutting into me and make sure I was comfortable with her. She answered all my questions really well, and it turned out I was more comfortable with her than the original surgeon. This was a quick 5-10 minute talk, but I highly recommend asking for it, even if your surgeon hasn't changed. You'll have another chance to talk to your surgery just before being wheeled into the OR, but you'll be nervous and may be medicated by then, and it's just nice to have this conversation ahead of time and in an environment where you can look at a list of questions you've written down, and actually pay attention to the answers.

The hospital required another two appointments before surgery:

The pharmacist

About a week before my surgery, the pharmacist called for 5-10 minutes to discuss my current medications, supplements, vitamins and holistic medicines (if I were taking any) and to find out what time of day I take them at. Easy peasy.

2. The anesthetist

Exactly a week before my surgery, the anesthetist called to discuss the operation itself and the anesthetic. I'm not sure if the doctor I talked to will be the anesthetist who is actually in the room with me, or if it was just her job that particular day to call and get the information that will get passed onto the one who will be in the room. She was very nice, and explained the method of anesthesia, as well as how I'll likely feel when I wake up, etc. She also saw on my chart that I have a history of chronic pain, and zeroed in on my back and shoulder. She asked if there are any positions that make me more comfortable, and then explained the position I'd be in for my surgery -- tipped back toward my head -- and that this sometimes gives people back and shoulder pain even if they don't have any to begin with. She said my arms would be alongside my body, fairly tight to it, and I said that would be fine. I practiced laying them beside my body later that day and promptly discovered that's actually pretty painful for one arm, but I'll mention that when I get there and hope for the best! If I was having the conversation again, I'd answer by saying I wasn't sure how that would feel but that I'd practice it before the surgery day to see, and then ask who I could talk to if it turned out there's a better position or if that one wouldn't work. Ultimately though, the surgery should be 1.5 hours to 4 hours at most, so I'm not overly concerned. What you should take away from this if you're having this surgery and don't already have back/shoulder pain is that you might wake up with some, but that it should go away in a day or maybe a little less. This type of surgery also requires the surgeon to inflate your belly with gas in order to make room for the scopes and so that they can see what they're doing. That gas can stick around for a day, sometimes two, according to the anesthetist and can be a little bit painful or uncomfortable. I can't remember anything else that came out of this conversation.

In terms of pre-surgery appointments, that was it.

Tips and Tricks for Being Prepared

The next little bit is information I acquired through talking to my therapist (who's had several laparoscopic surgeries!) and many hours of research online, as well as living as a person who often has few spoons.

Get your first 1-2 weeks of meals planned and ready in advance. For me, this means I've picked up a large number of cans of Alphaghetti-type foods, and I'll be buying as many frozen meals as I can but have VERY little freezer room because my partner and I share with our tenant. Other options include things like HelloFresh, identifying nights when it will be easier for your partner if you order food in (if you can afford to), making big batches of food leading up to surgery while you're well and then freezing them, creating a list of meals you'd appreciate friends bringing over [remind them to bring them in disposable containers, so you don't have to feel guilty when it takes you weeks to get the containers back to them!], etc

Buy some Depends/adult diapers. I bought store brand (Life brand, specifically, which is Canadian) ones. The only ones I could get were maximum absorbency unless I wanted to pay twice the price for name brand ones, but I suspect I could do with a minimum absorbency one. I bought the underwear-style ones. In the store brand, they don't look very underwear-like at all, but if you have more money to spend, some of the name brand ones look convincingly like underwear! I also bought 'Unisex' ones, but would have bought womens if the unisex ones weren't an option; I suspect the mens' might have a built-in bulge area that would be awkward for me. The point of the adult diapers is that their 'waistband' is not a traditional waistband -- it's about 8" tall, very thin, and crinkle-cut so that it doesn't put pressure on your skin. This will stop you from having clothing pushing on your incision sites. BONUS is that they ARE absorbent, so you won't have to also wear pads to deal with discharge (which can, apparently, last for 6 weeks). Try the Depends on for a day a few days before surgery. Yes, it will be awkward and you'll feel silly. I am literally sitting in bed, with nothing wrong with me, wearing nothing but an adult diaper and a tee shirt while my partner's at work. But this has 2 purposes: 1) chances are you haven't worn these before, and you want to make sure you've got the most comfortable ones you can in terms of fit and style; 2) if you've worn them once already, it'll be familiar when you go to put it on when you're ready to leave the hospital; you'll know which side is the back and which side is the front, and the 'weirdness' of wearing them will be less unsettling. You're going to have other weird stuff going on, this doesn't have to be yet another weird thing happening!

If you live alone or your partner doesn't (or can't) change the sheets, layer sheets on the bed. That's right, layer your mattress with bottom sheets. That way, you can peel the top one off and have a cleaner sheet beneath it. It won't be the same as being able to sleep on a fresh, clean sheet straight out of the cupboard or dryer, but it's going to be better than the one you've slept, sweat or, universe forbid, bled on.

Get a LEAKPROOF (truly) travel mug with a handle. After surgery you'll have maybe one comfortable position to lay in. You're not going to want to get out of that position to retrieve your water, but you're also going to need to be drinking a lot of water (it helps you recover, and also helps get your bowels moving again). Being able to lose your water in the bed is a luxury, but a necessary one. I got mine at Winners for pretty cheap.

Get a nightie or onesie. I usually sleep naked. I don't really own pyjamas -- when I need to cover up to sleep (like when I visit friends or travel), I throw on a pair of joggers, or boxer briefs. But those both have waistbands and, remember, we're trying to avoid waistbands. I ordered a sleep shirt from Oodie, which was on sale, but still expensive (I paid around $60, including 1-2 business day shipping because I didn't think of it until the last minute), as well as a halloween one-sie from Old Navy that's apparently leftover from last year's halloween stock. I'm expecting the onesie to be way too hot, but I need something I can wear out in public in case I have to get groceries, or pick something up at the pharmacy, or stand outside because the building's burning, without exposing myself. I also borrowed a robe to go over the sleep shirt when I leave the hospital.

Have whoever's picking you up bring 2 pillows. One goes between your abdomen and the seatbelt, and you sit on the other one.

Have whoever's picking you up bring fast food. When you leave the hospital you're going to either be ravenously hungry or feel like you never want to eat again. Either way, fast food is going to be the one thing you didn't realize you needed so badly in your life until that moment. Your body's going to be craving carbs and fat, and fat is also what's going to help your pain pills kick in.

Have ice cream, chips or other junk food on hand. This is mostly so that you have something to eat when you take your pain pills. Fatty foods help opiates work faster; as someone who takes them several times a month for chronic pain, I've sometimes noticed a difference of -hours- between taking them with fatty foods and taking them on their own.

Get a walking aid. We use our abdomens for everything. If you don't already have something like a cane, pick one up. Keep the receipt though; if you don't end up using it, you can usually take them back. With that said, my therapist said it's at about the 2 week mark when you feel like you actually need one. If you don't have a cane but you have walking/hiking sticks, dig them out and keep them handy.

Grab some baby wipes. You can get laparoscopic incisions wet, but that doesn't mean you're going to feel like you have the energy or endurance to shower right away. You're still going to want to keep your pits and bits clean.

If you take daily medications, organize them in a pill organizer. Things can get confusing when you're on painkillers, or when a partner is dishing out your meds. You know exactly how many you take, and how often, so the best way to approach this is to get a pill organizer and get all your doses for a week ready before your surgery. Monday AM, Monday PM, Tuesday AM, Tuesday PM, that kind of thing. There's nothing worse than being on painkillers and trying to remember if you've already taken That Very Important Medication You Can't Miss or not. Or, worse, not even realizing you've missed something that can give you withdrawal symptoms, and suddenly waking up a few days after surgery feeling worse than you've ever felt in your life and wondering if you need to go to the ER, only to have it turn out that you missed your meds.

Buy something for yourself that you can look forward to. I bought a video game that I've wanted for a couple of years that was finally on sale. I haven't touched it, and won't until sometime after surgery when I feel up to it. Giving yourself a little reward when you're going through something hard is always nice.

If you're diabetic...take a minute before your surgery to remind your partner/anyone you live with/anyone who's going to be looking after you about how and when to check your blood sugars, what numbers are abnormal for you, and what to do about them. Being ill or recovering from a surgery can really throw your diabetes out of whack, even if it's well-controlled beforehand, and recovering from surgery might make you feel a lot of the same symptoms you'd feel from a hypo/hyper or DKA, so make sure you (or someone else) test your sugars regularly and have things on hand to deal with abnormal or worrying results.

Take your phone everywhere. Painkillers (and pain) can make us unsteady. As someone who's taken a fall and had to wait hours for my partner to wake up and find me and help me back to my feet (and then bed), I don't recommend it.

These are the things I know about pre-surgery, but I'll try to update...eventually if I learn anything new post-surgery.

#transmasc #trans guy #trans man #transmasculine #ftm trans #surgery #medical stuff #hysto #hysterectomy #disability

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deadeyedfae · 10 months ago

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I'm tearing up right now, after reading your comic... I'm transmasc. Plump. I haven't started HRT yet, but I have a first appointment in the "checkpoint" (health center specialized in lgbtqia+) on monday and I'm scared and part of my brain is screaming that I'll never look like these trans men in the pics anyway...

Sorry. I'm babbling uncontrollably. Really just wanted to say how much I relate to that comic and how wonderful it was for me to read it. Thank you so very much! <3

PS: I saw your photo the other day. You're beautiful.

Hello!! So first off thank you very much, I'm happy it impacted you, I'm always happy to hear about more transmasc people enjoying my art becuase I do often worry about only speaking to other transfem people where I want to hopefully reach as many trans people as possible! 💜

Secondly I hope your first appointment goes well, it can be nerve wrecking but it'll be worth it! Once it's done you'll be so excited you took that first step! Also let me tell you right now, all trans men / transmasc people are valid as heck but in my personal experience the most masculine man I've ever met hands down was a plump trans man, he looked amazing and fun fact he was the first trans man to be legally married to a woman in the UK before gay marige was legal! But anyway tangents apart, you'll do great, weight certainly is a worry especially when you are first starting out but tbh it doesn't have any baring on the effects you'll see! You'll be your transmasc presenting self and happy with the results before you know it!

It is worth noting I heard recently that HRT dosages might need to be higher due to weight so if you aren't happy with the results in the 1st 6 months speak to your provider about getting a dosage to match your size! But it might be that you react extremely well to your first dose, it's diffrent for everyone!

And no need to apologise, I love hearing for people in the community and it's nice to have the opportunity to try and spread a little love and support ^^

Also again, thank you so much, that's very sweet of you to say! I think I'm starting to belive it these days, everyone being so kind has really helped my self confidence 💜💜

#transgender #transmasc #Good luck on your first appointment!

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kaukio · 3 months ago

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I did shrooms + got high again and it was one of the best experiences i’ve had thus far.

me and my friends decided to take shrooms around 3 on Oct 4, and i didn’t expect the stuff that went down to happen. i’m going to try and detail what i can remember.

after dosing, we walked to the streetcar to get to the historical park in the middle of the city. we started tripping in the streetcar while talking to the older man who had these cool piercings that went all over his eyebrows. after that the streetcar stopped bc there was an ambulance in the way. we decided to walk the rest of the way to the park.

after getting to the park i rmr it being so green..it looked almost fake but it also reminded me of teletubbies (i always reference this show everytime im high). while walking we decided to grab some food before going back to the park. we went to CFA and we started laughing hard about seeing this final boss Ethiopian looking guy. it was really funny bc his features were all exaggerated to the max lmaoo. after getting food we sat in the grassy area and started eating. i rmr feeling like we were in a utopia bubble. everything felt like a solar punk futuristic world.

at the same time, even the food looked so cool, it looked like the fake plastic foods. for a moment. i was in a completely different reality. i realized i also was paying attention to a lot of fine details especially since i had my glasses on this time. anywho i decided that i wanted to take a walk so one of my friends joined me. it was a nice walk and i rmr sort of getting into an area that felt very dull. it was interesting to see how everything changed for me the moment i was there. so we decided to go back to the more grassy area where we felt like we were in a different reality. when we got back to the group, i rmr my school calling me. I thought at first it was an automated emergency call…but it was a slight silence and once i said hello, turns out some HR manager was trying to set an appointment to interview me. it was one of the funniest and worst phone calls i’ve ever had. it was so hard to remain my composure, and he was talking for so long trying to help me understand what the job exactly is. it was like we both sounded unsure throughout the phone call. it’s so embarrassing and i might even cancel that job interview that i have monday on whatever goddamn time i even set, i don’t even rmr what time i said lmaooo

another moment i rmr is when some of my friends wanted to leave and me and my other friend wanted to stay at the park longer. we were sad at first bc we didn’t really wanna split ways w them since the whole point was to enjoy this day together. we decided to split but as me and my friends were walking around, we stumbled across our friends who were supposed to leave just standing by a water fall fountain looking area. we met up w them again and started laughing abt how they’re still here after they said they’d leave. since it’s a historical olympic park, they were reading what the fountain was for and who it was honoring. it was a man who found a bomb under a bench that was near it and ran away w it which ended up exploding on him during the olympics. we had a very reverent moment and we all decided to start walking around while reading every monument and sculpture that was made in honor to those who contributed to the olympics. it was funny and ironic that we were just exploring and looking learning about art in a city we live. it was an art appreciation moment and we had so many good discussions on our walk around. oh and we also some some man with a pet bird, it was pretty cool.

I also remember us walking to the park to play but there were kids there so we were abt to walk away. as we were tryna walk away, we saw a bunch of kids that look like they’re YN’s in training. these kids ended up walking up to us and started to harass us flexing their fake money and saying “fyn shi” it was one of the most hilarious moments ever. tiktok has rotted in these kids heads and it was so crazy watching it happen real time. they ended up following us until we were out of the park and we decided to come back in another way. and just smoke and head back home.

after smoking, i took like 3 hits from the benjamin and was madddd highhh. like i haven’t felt that way for so long. i couldn’t stand or walk so we all decided to just sit down on the grass next to the sidewalk and they were calming me down and telling me that there’s no rush and we can just stay. everyone else got just as high as me and we sat and started listening to classical music.

it was such a beautiful high and we talked abt almost everything. specially the beauty of classical music and art and how it’s all around us. even moments later being there the sun started setting and it looked amazing. it was sooo pink and beautiful, it almost felt unreal watching that real time. at some point at night we were even watching the ferris wheel as the colors were changing and going with the classical music that we were playing. it was like they were so synchronized. it was so beautiful to watch. one of my friends had a real moment and they started running to the light. it was soo funny like straight out of a movie lolll. we also at some points saw horses going by in a carriage

in the end me and my friend waited at the park while my other friends went to get waffle house. there was some homeless guy who was making farting noises as he was walking everywhere. it sounded so sinister and it was really funny because it seemed as tho he was watering the grass…like why want a sprinkler when u have spit all over 😹😹 anyways this is all i can rmr thus far but it was by far one of the best experiences i’ve ever had being high. and i really want stop micro dosing on shrooms and try at least 2g.

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isilrina · 11 months ago

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Happy Art Monday! 🌟

Today marks the launch of my newest sticker collection: 'Weird Cats Stickers'! 🐱✨

Calling all you cats and art lovers out there! Today, I'm thrilled to introduce my latest creation: a series of adorable stickers featuring cute and quirky cats! Each sticker is crafted with love and detail, bringing a touch of feline magic to your everyday life. Whether you're a bullet journal enthusiast, a notebook aficionado, or just looking for a unique way to decorate your space, these stickers are perfect for you!

The 'Weird Cats Stickers' collection features five unique designs, ready to be printed, each with its own charm and personality. You can purchase them individualy or in pack of five stickers (buy five and get one free!). Some of those stickers are designed to be put at the bottom or the top of a page, or above or below a tracker box in a Bullet Journal, but you can use them as you want once printed. They come in two sizes: 4x4 cms and 6x6 cms. (1.57x1.57 inches, and 2.36x2.36 inches.)

Don't miss out on the chance to get your hands on these adorable stickers and add a dose of joy and whimsy to your daily life. Head over to my Ko-Fi shop now to check out the full collection and place your order! 🛍️✨

#isilrinart #cats #cat stickers #weird cats #weird cats stickers #ko fi shop #ko fi link #stickers #new stickers collection #stationary #bujo #decorate #Isil-stickers

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unofficiallymikaela · 2 years ago

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And they say they're not together... Such a lie.

Dramione ❤️‍🔥

6 out of 6 ships are done.

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therobertfrasergang · 2 years ago

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Robert Fraser in the Evening Standard, July 28, 1967

Robert Fraser had appealed his sentence for heroin possession but was denied. He ended up serving 4 months of a 6 month sentence (he'd already been in prison for 5 weeks at the time of this hearing).

The entire article is transcribed below the cut.

Evening Standard, Jul 28, 1967

‘Heroin is a killer’

Art Gallery Man Loses Appeal by Gordon Corner

The six-months prison sentence passed on Robert Hugh Fraser, 29-year-old art gallery director, on drug charges, is to stand.

This was decided in the Criminal Division of the Court of Appeals this afternoon after Lord Parker, the Lord Chief Justice, had termed heroin as a killer.

Fraser had pleaded guilty at West Sussex Quarter Sessions at Chichester to possession of 24 tablets of heroin and had been refused bail pending his trial.

The appeals of Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger and Keith Richard, who were also sentenced on drug charges, are to be heard on Monday.

Fraser’s appeal was turned down after his counsel, Mr. William Denny, who made a strong plea that the five weeks his client had already served was sufficient, had revealed that Fraser was now cured of his addiction.

Lord Parker said Fraser had been found in possession of heroin in a house raided at West Wittering: He had 24 tablets in his jacket pocket. Fraser had claimed he was a diabetic and that a doctor had prescribed for this. But this was completely untrue, for the tablets were his daily dose. Fraser by then was a heroin addict.

After being found in possession of the tablets Fraser had had the courage to go to a doctor who had started treatment of an extremely disagreeable kind. The court had been told that he was no longer an addict.

Lord Parker said the court wanted to make it clear that in considering Fraser’s case they were paying no attention whatsoever to any connection there might have been with the case of Jagger and Richard.

Good Family

What the court knew about those cases it was putting completely out of its mind in the case of Fraser. His case was approached in complete isolation.

Fraser, went on Lord Parker, could not expect any special treatment by reason of privileges through his station in life. He came from an extremely good family, had been to a famous public school and served with two renowned regiments.

But these privileges, if anything, carried greater responsibility and would tempt a court to give more rather than less in the way of a sentence.

A man in Fraser’s position was not sentenced because he was an addict. Everybody was extremely sorry for him. What he was being sentenced for was for commencing the taking of this drug.

In this particular case the court was dealing solely with heroin, and where heroin was concerned the court was satisfied that in the ordinary way, where there were no special circumstances, public interest demanded that some form of detention should be imposed.

“Heroin has been termed a killer and it must be remembered that anybody who takes heroin puts there body and soul into the hands of the supply or the supplier,” said Lord Parker.

The court was firmly of the opinion that a sentence of detention in the absence of special circumstances was a proper one.

The court, in considering whether the sentence was excessive, bore in mind that Fraser had the courage to go to a doctor and was now cured. But it was not satisfied that the sentence passed in any way erred in principle.

Earlier Mr. Denny had said that Fraser had an excellent background with a father who was a famous financier and had gone to a top-class public school. Five years ago he established his own art gallery in London’s West End which had met with considerable success.

Explaining how he had been introduced to the drug, Mr. Denny said that about a year ago Fraser was overworked and tired and was offered some drugs by an employee. He had never touched drugs of any kind before, but after four or five doses he was addicted.

After describing the steps Fraser had taken to get cured, Mr. Denny said: “Having heard the defendant had broken his addiction, one would have felt it possible that the Quarter Sessions would have leavened the condemnation of the offence with congratulations for its remedy.

“For here was a man who was himself the only victim of his offence. But of these matters put before the court one is bound to say that there is no indication that these matters weighed in terms of mitigation with the court.”

Greater responsibility

Mr. Denny added that there was no reason given by the court for imposing such a severe sentence.

Lord Parker then intervened to say: “I think personally that the greater the privileges of a man, his home, his background, his station in life, education at a public school and two renowned regiments—these very privileges give greater responsibility, and one is tempted to say that a man with these privileges must get more than an unfortunate man who has had no privileges.”

Lord Justice Winn also intervened during Mr. Denny’s argument and said: “Parliament must be taken to know the facts—heroin is a killer apart from complete moral destruction, death will follow inevitably from taking heroin. Only eight per cent of heroin addicts have lived for more than a few years.”

Mr. Denny said that Fraser had already served five weeks and he felt no further useful purpose would be served by keeping a person who had not harmed anyone else in prison any longer.

The resentment felt by Fraser when sentence was passed was understandable because the merits and the perspective of his particular case were lost in the events and the supercharges atmosphere in what happened in the following two days in the trial of his co-defendants Jagger and Richard.

Although Fraser had pleaded guilty he had been ordered to pay £200 costs. Jagger, who had pleaded not guilty in a case which had been fought and in which he was sentences to three months, was ordered to pay £100 costs. “One cannot see the rational of it,” said Mr. Denny.

Said Lord Justice Winn: “I cannot see that has anything to do with the sentence passed. One was for amphetamine and the other one was for heroin.”

And he added that here Fraser was getting a fresh hearing before a court which was paying no attention to the Richard and Jagger cases.

#robert fraser #1967 #evening standard #rolling stones #drug charges

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