#mon demon: ma mort

[lamb-of-wrath]

i was not expecting that writing Death observing Agatha and seeing sex for the very first time would turn into writing a crackfic

ao3

[heyiwrotesomethings]

salut j'espère que vous allez bien j'adore vos histoires de lecteur shinobu x et je voulais vous demander si vous pouviez faire une histoire de lecteur shinobu x fem où kanae n'est pas mort et shinobu a son vrai caractère et que pendant l'histoire, shinobu et le lecteur sa rivale pour voir qui est le meilleur tueur de démons ou juste le meilleur dans l'ensemble, qu'ils se taquinent constamment mais que shinobu a toujours une longueur d'avance sur le lecteur et que d'une manière ou d'une autre ils finissent en couple à la fin (merci donc beaucoup si vous acceptez ma demande et sachez que vous êtes mon écrivain shinobu préféré <3)

You’re My (Sparring) Partner

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: I don’t know any French so I hope Google Translate didn’t let us down too bad. Quick plot introduction: Kanae lived, Shinobu’s her good ol’ grouchy self, and she and reader are always competing to see who is better. Some bumps in the path before they finally end up together because Shinobu is stubborn. Thank you for the request. Espérons que vous apprécierez! Word Count: 4,340

“I killed two demons last night.” (Y/n) shared with a bit of pride over breakfast that morning, subtlety looking over the rim of her cup at Shinobu as she drank, before putting the cup back down with a quiet click. “I made very clean cuts too, that’s what you said, right? Kanae-sama?”

A quiet laugh left Kanae’s lips before she nodded, “Yes, you certainly are improving. I’m very proud.”

Shinobu rolled her eyes, her teeth lightly grinding together before she added, “Well my record in one night is four. Two isn’t that impressive.”

“Oh yeah, well—“

“Shinobu, (Y/n), please no bickering at the table. It’s a little early to be playing this game, don’t you think?” Kanae sighed.

“It’s not a game, Neesan.” Shinobu refuted, matching (Y/n)’s glare.

This rivalry had been going on for years. Ever since Shinobu finally accepted that she wasn’t fit for Flower Breathing and decided to cultivate her own breathing style and (Y/n) had wormed her way in to train under Kanae as a Tsuguko, the spot that should have been Shinobu’s by all accounts. It had left the girl bitter and looking for just about any excuse to show (Y/n) how much better she was than her. Even now as a Hashira herself, she still hadn’t been able to quite let go of that initial disappointment and start a new chapter.

Of course, (Y/n) didn’t take Shinobu’s challenges sitting down. She had earned her spot within the Butterfly Estate, but the only one who remained unconvinced was the one person she wanted to impress almost more than the Flower Hashira herself.

Ever since (Y/n) had met Shinobu, she hadn’t thought of her as anything short of brilliant. She took every curve ball life had thrown her way and found a way to hit a home run every time. Not able to decapitate demons, she made a special poison that could kill them anyway. Not suited for the more mainstream breathing techniques, she created her own. Not to mention her speed and mastery over Total Concentration Breathing Constant was nothing to sneeze at either.

To be acknowledged and accepted by Shinobu was all she really wanted and she was willing to do anything to prove her worth. She would compete with Shinobu until she earned her respect.

“Yes, it’s a very serious matter, Master.” (Y/n) agreed, smirking at Shinobu’s scowl.

“Well then take it outside. You are making poor Kanao nervous and I’m sure the other girls don’t appreciate the hostility brewing between you two either.” Kanae said, motioning to the group of girls around the table who did indeed just wanted to eat their breakfast in peace.

“Fine.” Shinobu’s hands slapped against the table as she got up. “I could go for a spar, how about you? Or are you still too sleepy from being up past your bedtime?”

“I recall you waiting up to greet me last night. So I’m sure we have the same advantage.”

“As if I was waiting for you. I had questions for my sister about our medicinal ingredient supply shipments.”

They bickered and taunted each other, even nudging and shoving each other as they made their way out the door. Kanae gave another tired sigh.

“Why can’t those two just get along?”

***

Shinobu flung a wooden sword at (Y/n) who was luckily paying enough attention to catch it before it smacked her in the face and quick enough to immediately retaliate.

“Readysetgo!” Thwack!

It was a dirty tactic to begin a spar without allowing enough time to at least get in a proper starting stance, but Shinobu had anticipated the swipe and blocked it easily.

“Can’t even catch me off guard properly.” Shinobu taunted.

“Who said I trying to?” (Y/n) asked with faux innocence, blocking Shinobu’s counter strike, “I gave you fair warning. Did you feel like I was trying to catch you off guard? In that case, maybe I did catch you a bit off guard after all. My apologies.”

Shinobu sneered, then jumped back. With the weight behind Shinobu’s block gone, (Y/n) was suddenly pushing back against nothing but air. She stumbled forward as Shinobu advanced, turning sharply behind her, wooden sword already swinging towards its intended target.

(Y/n) had been burned by that little maneuver once before and she wasn’t going to give Shinobu the satisfaction of a second. She continued to fall forward, kicking her legs up into the air when her hands came in contact with the ground. She could feel the displacement of air roll over her back, Shinobu had followed through with her strike and missed!

With all the force (Y/n) could muster, she torpedoed on her palms, attempting to catch Shinobu’s face with her foot, but Shinobu quickly cocked her head to the side and dropped her sword to the ground so she could brace her hands at (Y/n)’s ankle and knee. With a smirk, she twisted (Y/n)’s leg, and kicked out (Y/n)’s arms from under her, forcing her to the ground completely.

Before (Y/n) could attempt to scramble to her feet, Shinobu planted her foot firmly to the center of her back.

“That was an entertaining little display.” Shinobu cooed. “Where did you pick that up from? Weird boar boy?”

“Just get off of me already.” (Y/n) groused, she attempted to hit Shinobu’s ankle, but was not quite flexible enough to do more than brush against the offending foot.

“I didn’t hear you say you concede.” Shinobu knelt down, one knee in the dirt by (Y/n)’s side, foot still on the disgruntled Tsuguko’s back. She cupped a hand around her ear and got in real close, “Say it nice and loud so I can hear you, okay?”

So humiliating! (Y/n) stormed through the mansion after her devastating defeat to lick her wounds in peace. Shinobu always seemed to be one step ahead of her! Of course she was a Hashira, more skilled and practiced than (Y/n) was, but as a Tsuguko to the Flower Hashira, she should be able to last more than five minutes with Shinobu in a spar!

“Hey, everything okay in there?” Kanae had knocked on the door, “I see Shinobu is gloating again.”

(Y/n) opened the door to let Kanae in. Then she flooped back down on her bed and sighed.

“Master, please don’t take this the wrong way, but can’t you train me any harder? Or at least teach me all of your sister’s weaknesses?”

Kanae giggled, taking a seat on the edge of (Y/n)’s bed, “I don’t think that would be very fair. She would be angry with me for weeks, maybe longer. She can sure hold a grudge. As for training, I can only teach you so much… especially now that I have these Mount Natagumo spider slayers that are in need of a rigorous medication program in order to return to normal. I just don’t have the time to train you any more strenuously than I already do.”

“Oh…” though (Y/n) was already laying flat against the bed, she somehow seemed to sink further with her mounting disappointment.

“But there is something we could possibly do while Shinobu and I work on healing the spider slayers.”

(Y/n) perked up a bit, “What?”

“Mitsuri, the new Love Hashira. We got to become aquatinted at the last meeting. She’s a very sweet girl. It would probably do you both some good to train together. It would give Mitsuri a jumpstart on teaching experience and you would get tutelage from another Hashira. Seems like a win-win, doesn’t it?”

“Can you really set that up, Kanae-sama?” (Y/n) was sitting up now, much more excited.

“I don’t see why not. I’ll write her a letter an ask her if she’s busy. She can stay with us for a couple of days and over see your training until the spider slayers are more obviously on the mend.”

“Thank you, Kanae-sama!”

Things might just start looking up! She’d show Shinobu just how strong she could become!

***

Mitsuri was very sweet, almost too sweet. If (Y/n) wasn’t such a well-disciplined Tsuguko, they wouldn’t have gotten anything done. But for as green of a Hashira as Mitsuri was, she was incredibly strong! Maybe even more so than Kanae. Her actual teaching could use work, but (Y/n) felt like she was learning a lot and it was only the first day of three that Mitsuri would be available. She was going to really give Shinobu a run for her money the next time they decided to cross swords. Speaking of,

“Kanroji-san, what are you doing here?” Shinobu had happened by an open door and heard (Y/n) laughing, looking up from the stack of patient files she had in her arms, she had not expected to find her sparring with Mitsuri of all people.

“Oh, hi Shinobu!” Mitsuri loosened her hold on (Y/n) to wave at Shinobu, “Kanae asked me to help pick up on (Y/n)’s training while you guys are working hard with all of your new patients. I’d say things are going pretty well so far!”

“Surprise attack!” (Y/n) tried to pull Mitsuri to the ground. Mitsuri bent forward a little bit, but mostly stood her ground.

“Hey!” Mitsuri giggled, quickly switching the hold to put (Y/n) on the ropes instead, tickling (Y/n)’s sides to make her laugh and beg for mercy.

Shinobu wasn’t sure what it was, but she was not a fan of this new development. (Y/n) never laughed with her like that when they sparred… and why would she! Shinobu didn’t give a damn beyond adding another win to the score board. But they did look like they were having fun… getting along so quickly after only just meeting too… ARGH!

“Try not to go too hard on (Y/n), Kanroji-san. She’s fragile.”

(Y/n) gave Shinobu an annoyed look, “I am not. Kanroji-san can be as rough with me as she needs to be if I’m ever going to be a Hashira one day too.”

“That’ll be the day, won’t it?” Shinobu grumbled.

“I’m sure you’ll make a great Hashira one day (Y/n)! It would be so nice to get to see you more often.” Mitsuri beamed.

“That would be great!”

“That would be great.” Shinobu mocked under her breath as she walked away, the sound of the other girls laughter grating against her ears.

When she re-entered the infirmary and slammed the papers down on the table, Kanae looked up and observed her sister.

“What has you all broody?”

“I’m not broody.”

“If you say so…”

Kanae refocused her attention to the wiggly spider slayer in her arms. It was hard getting them to swallow their medication without giving them her full attention.

“Why didn’t you ask me to help (Y/n) with her training?” Shinobu suddenly spoke up after a few minutes.

“Hm? I figured you would rather do literally anything else. Besides, you’re helping me take care of all these new patients… Did you want to help (Y/n)?”

“No.” Shinobu answered hurriedly. “I just don’t think she and Mitsuri are taking the training seriously is all.”

Kanae looked at Shinobu from the corner of her eye and took note of her disgruntled expression. Such a cute, pouty frown. Kanae moved in to the next patient, a smile growing across her face as a sense of clarity came over her. She wondered just how long her stubborn little sister could hold out before her jealousy overtakes her pride.

Apparently the very same day.

“Kanroji-san, her stance is all wrong, see?” Shinobu had butted in between the two of them after Kanae had sent her off to eat lunch, but of course she could not simply walk past Mitsuri and (Y/n) when she had noticed (Y/n) stance was so blatantly off-balance.

“Oh! I guess you’re right Shinobu.” Mitsuri agreed.

“Stand with your feet further apart.” Shinobu mumbled, kicking (Y/n)’s foot further out, then twisting (Y/n)’s waist and adjusting the way she held her arms up and her grip around the practice sword.

Honestly, (Y/n)‘s stance was perfectly acceptable without Shinobu’s knit picking, but Shinobu had to find some excuse to put space between (Y/n) and Mitsuri. Why that was? She didn’t dwell on an answer.

“There, you feel that pull?” Shinobu asked and (Y/n) blinked back to life, having had gone somewhere else as Shinobu had gently pushed her body into place.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I feel it.”

“Good.”

Shinobu looked for every opportunity she could to step in. Only stopping when Kanae came looking for her and scolded her for letting Aoi’s lunch for her grow cold. She did end up eating with (Y/n) and Mitsuri though, which was good because… well, just because!

She squeezed between them at the table, getting gradually more annoyed as they talked over her head. She did manage to find one way to get (Y/n) to remember she was sitting right beside her.

“You have rice on your face.”

She reached out to brush her thumb over (Y/n)’s chin, coming away with a couple grains of rice.

(Y/n) blinked and subconsciously lifted her hand to her chin where her skin still tingled from Shinobu’s brief touch, “Oh… thanks.”

“You two are so cute!” Mitsuri sighed dreamily, “How long have you guys been together?”

Both (Y/n) and Shinobu’s heads snapped towards Mitsuri.

“We are not together!” They shouted in unison, startling Mitsuri.

“Ehh, really? I could have sworn… Just they way you two acted around each other today, I thought you might be a couple. I’m sorry if I made it awkward.”

“I’d rather cut off my own hands.” Shinobu scoffed, then she was startled by a heavy thump beside her as (Y/n)’s fists hit the table.

“Do you really have to go that far?” (Y/n) hissed, shooting up to her feet, “I’m so sorry the idea of being with me sounds so awful to you that you’d rather mutilate yourself. If you really hate me that much, then why don’t you leave me the fuck alone!”

“Well, you don’t exactly make it easy, do you?” Shinobu snapped back before she could think better of it, as was the risk being as hotheaded as she tended to be. She regretted it very soon after.

“All I ever wanted was for you to acknowledge me, to praise me just once instead of shooting me down. I thought competing with you was the only way to make you see me, but it only seemed to make things worse between us.”

She quickly rubbed beneath her eyes to catch any stupid tears that slipped over her resolve.

“Well, I know now that it will never happen so I’ll stay out of your way as long as you stay out of mine. And that means quit budging in on my training with Mitsuri!”

(Y/n) took Mitsuri by the arm and Mitsuri gave Shinobu an apologetic look, taking the rest of her plate with her as (Y/n) dragged her off.

“That probably couldn’t have gone worse if you tried.”

Shinobu snapped her attention to the other set of doors that lead outside. They slid open to reveal Kanae, who simply waltzed in as if she hadn’t been eavesdropping pretty much the whole time.

“What does it matter?” Shinobu spoke sharply, “I’ll finally have some peace around here.”

“You could have had a perfectly peaceful three days while Mitsuri was keeping her busy, but you couldn’t even last one without her.”

“Oh great, you thought we liked each other too, didn’t you?”

“If you would stop getting in your own way for a minute, you’d know it’s true. You two have always been trying to prove yourself to each other in some way, just not always the best way. Like it or not, you are each other’s drive to do better.”

Shinobu opened her mouth to argue, but Kanae have gave her a warning look before continuing on,

“I hope you two will realize your being silly and work this out before too long. If anyone here really needs peace from your overstayed rivalry, it’s me,” she teasingly ruffled Shinobu’s hair, “For now, I need your help back in the infirmary.”

With an annoyed grunt, Shinobu followed Kanae back to the infirmary. All the while she ranted within her mind. Everyone in this mansion was delusional. The only feelings she had for (Y/n) were ones of annoyance. But when she passed by the open door near the infirmary again and saw (Y/n) and Mitsuri cuddled up together in the grass, her heart betrayed her mind by pounding against her chest. Almost as if to burst right between her ribs and flop in the grass until it finally reached its destination. If Shinobu wouldn’t go to (Y/n), it would reach her on its own.

“Keep walking, Shinobu~” Kanae lightly warned, “If you want your peace, you must leave them be.”

Shinobu grit her teeth and continued off to the infirmary despite her heart’s protests. This is what she wanted, her heart would just have to deal with it.

***

The healing of the spider slayers was going much slower than anticipated. To Shinobu’s very much internal dismay, Kanae had asked Mitsuri if she could stay just a few days more, maybe a whole other week. For a moment, Shinobu thought things would finally go back to normal because Mitsuri simply couldn’t get anymore time away, but then Kanae suggested she take (Y/n) with her to keep training her until the spider slayers were closer to being cured.

To Shinobu’s dismay, both Mitsuri and (Y/n) found the idea favorable and the left together sometime that afternoon when Shinobu was busy making more stupid spider medicine.

“You seem to be grinding those herbs extra hard,” Kanae had noted, “I’m sorry, had I known you wanted to see them off, I would have come to get you, but you wouldn’t want to miss out on any peace and quiet, wouldn’t you?”

Damn her, Shinobu thought. It didn’t matter if she got to see (Y/n) off or not. She’d be back before she knew it, and in a way she was right, but not in the way she wanted to be.

Only two nights after (Y/n) had left with Mitsuri, she was being carried back in by the frantic Hashira that had taken her, bloody and unresponsive.

“I’m so sorry, Kanae!” Mitsuri cried, “I got distracted during the mission and didn’t notice right away that (Y/n) had been lured into an ambush pursuing a fleeing demon. She fought them off as long as she could before I could get to her, but… I feel awful! I didn’t know what to do, will she be okay?”

“Sit, Mitsuri,” Kanae soothed, “you got her here as fast as you could, that’s what matters. Let me take it from here—“

Shinobu pushed passed Kanae to (Y/n)’s cot, “This isn’t the time for talk, we need to get to work, now!” She demanded angrily.

“Shinobu,” Kanae warned, “if you want to help, you have to calm down. You won’t do her any good if you let your brashness cut corners.”

Shinobu continued to peer down at (Y/n)’s battered body and try as she might to quiet her boiling rage to a simmer, she could not. She was furious. Furious at the demons, even Kanae and Mitsuri to a lesser extent, but most of all she felt angry with herself. If she wasn’t so attached to her pride and stubbornness, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe her last words to (Y/n) wouldn’t have been so harsh. What if she died before Shinobu could apologize?

“Shinobu, leave.” Kanae made the difficult call upon seeing her sister’s wide-eyed distress, but Shinobu shook her head, refusing to let go of (Y/n)’s hand.

Kanae exhaled sharply, there was no time for this. She wasn’t going to lose her Tsuguko because of her sister’s guilty hovering.

“Shinobu,” the harsh tone made Shinobu flinch, “out. I promise to let you back in once I’ve administered proper care. Mitsuri, take her out with you please.”

Shinobu numbly allowed Mitsuri to lead her away, keeping her eyes on (Y/n) until a Kakushi closed the door behind them. Unwilling to stray any further, Shinobu slid to the ground opposite the infirmary, and waited. Straining her hearing for any hint of what was going on beyond the door.

“You care about her a lot,” Mitsuri spoke up softly after a few long minutes of silence, “why haven’t you told her?”

If that wasn’t the million dollar question… Shinobu kept silent.

“Well, don’t worry. Kanae is going to get her all fixed up and then you can tell her all the things you wanted to say, okay?”

What did Mitsuri know? Shinobu thought bitterly. Shinobu saw that gash on her forehead, that deep wound in her belly, no one could say with one hundred percent certainty that (Y/n) would recover from this.

“You should practice what you want to say.” Mitsuri said, hoping to distract Shinobu from her dark thoughts, “I’ll talk through it with you, if you want. I’m rooting for you guys.”

Part of Shinobu wanted to tell Mitsuri to mind her own business, but she really did need the help if she was going to go through with this properly. So she took a deep breath, and took a step in the right direction.

When Kanae came out of the infirmary hours later, Shinobu and Mitsuri rocketed up from the floor and before they could bombard Kanae with questions, she held up her hands and said,

“She’s going to be okay. You can go see for yourselves.”

And when Shinobu rushed to (Y/n)’s side, she definitely did look better already. Blood washed away, wounds expertly stitched, clean bandages and clothes. Shinobu hunkered down in the chair by her bedside, scooting it as close to the bed as she could before taking (Y/n)’s hand and holding between her own.

Kanae smiled and shook her head. It was a very rude awakening, but at the very least Shinobu was heading in the right direction now. She went to rest knowing (Y/n) would be well looked after.

***

When (Y/n) awoke, the harsh light burned her eyes so she quickly shut them as soon as she opened them. Her body felt heavy and stiff. She couldn’t even wiggle her fingers. Well, none on her left hand anyway. She couldn’t remember the demons doing anything that would warrant a cast over her hand, but there was too much going on to process every injury fully, she imagined. It was weird how warm and sweaty the cast had made her hand though. It was a little uncomfortable.

(Y/n) tried to flip to her side instead of laying flat on her back, but found she was too weak to do it and groaned quietly. The ‘cast’ around her hand constricted in a light squeeze and a soft voice hushed her. Kanae, she assumed. Kanae must be with her, holding her hand. That made sense. Oh, her poor Master. It must have been hard to see her like that.

She tried to open her eyes again, blinking several times before she could even hold a squint. Though her vision was still a bit blurry, it was clearly not Kanae by her bedside. No, it was… was it really Shinobu?

“(Y/n), you’re awake.” Shinobu sounded so relieved that (Y/n) wasn’t so sure she had actually woken up.

“You’re holding my hand.” She blurted. No filter with her head injury apparently.

“Do you want me to stop?” Shinobu asked awkwardly, no bite whatsoever, nor true embarrassment at getting caught. She just seemed… shy, maybe a little uncertain.

“No… it’s fine.” Though she would have liked to air out her hand a little, she didn’t want to risk Shinobu getting offended and breaking whatever spell had come over her.

“I, I have a lot I need to say to you. Will you hear me out?”

Though (Y/n) was nervous, she nodded, managing to free her fingers to wrap them over Shinobu’s hand that cradled her own beneath the other. Shinobu took in a shaky breath, than began as she and Mitsuri had practiced.

***

One Month Later

“You aren’t back to full strength yet, don’t be so discouraged.” Shinobu spoke softly to (Y/n) as she helped her up from the cushy training room floor.

“But still,” (Y/n) pouted, hugging Shinobu and looking for further comfort once she was on her feet again, “I wanna beat you just once, is that so much to ask for?”

“Put those puppy eyes away. We both know you wouldn’t be satisfied if I just let you win.” Shinobu said, rubbing (Y/n)’s back.

“No, it would still be satisfying. The only real reason you won’t let me win is because you’re too proud of your flawless record of beating me to the ground.”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“But it’s truuue.” (Y/n) nuzzled her nose into Shinobu’s neck, making her laugh, “kiss me and make me feel better?”

“I guess I can give you that much.”

Shinobu coaxed (Y/n)’s face out of her neck with her hands on either side of her face and brought her in for kiss. She had only meant for it to be a short one, but (Y/n) had made it difficult to want to pull away, not that Shinobu really minded all that much. Not until she found herself suddenly pinned to the ground at least.

“I win!” (Y/n) grinned.

“No you don’t,” Shinobu frowned, “this wasn’t a match.”

“I didn’t actually say I forfeited, remember? This match is still on, baby!”

“Then my position still stands, you haven’t won anything yet,” Shinobu struggled against (Y/n)’s hold until she was nearly red in the face, but still she didn’t budge, “don’t you know cheaters never prosper?”

“All is fair in love and war, my dearest Shinobu.” (Y/n) giggled. “Are you gonna forfeit yet?”

Shinobu snuck her hands up (Y/n)’s back, making her shiver, she chuckled darkly, the same competitive glint in her eyes as always as she pulled the her girlfriend down to her lips.

“You wish.”

[l-u-c-i-i-e]

[You are my Fortress]

Holy water - Hypericum - Ethanol - Ps 91

Tu es mon rocher, Tu es ma forteresse.

Oh Toi, Saint Michel Archange, Protège nous, défend nous dans le combat, Sois notre secours contre la malice et les embûches du démon.

Oh You, Saint Michel Archangel, Protect us, defend us in the fight, Be our help against the malice and the pitfalls of the demon.

Et Toi, lumière de Saint Jean, Toi comme le Père Saint, qui jamais ne mentis, ne trompas, n'erras, ni ne doutas, de peur que nous prenions mort au monde du dieu étranger, donnes nous de connaître ce que Tu connais, et d'aimer ce que Tu aimes.

And You, light of Saint John, You who never lie, deceive, err, or doubt, lest we take death in the world of the foreign god, let us to know what you know, and love what You love.

---

Personal amalgamation of a known exorcism prayer, the Cathar prayer, few psalms, devotions and lots of candles and offerings, etc. The potion is prepared and macerated during Holy Week, between Palm Sunday and Easter. - Palm Sunday being one of my favorite Christian holidays.

Here He is, He who advances, miserable on his donkey, flanked by an army of poors and other lepers, here He is, who advances to stand up as a Man, upright, facing the State and its powers.

Everything is political.

I call it the rise of the Spirit at the same time as that of Hope . It protects when the tidal currents are too strong in Spring. (As now.)

[christophe76460]

❗️DIVORCE DES MARIS / FEMMES ESPRIT DES EAUX qui cause pauvreté/ divorce/ celibat/ faillite financiere/stagnation/non accomplissement.

NB: Toujours toujours commencer par une bonne repentance ( c'est la base)

👉🔥1. Père céleste, je reconnais que je suis pécheur. Je te demande PARDON pour tous mes péchés.

Je demande pardon particulièrement pour

☑️tous les péchés sexuels / le sexe impur physique ou mental

☑️je te demande PARDON pour toutes alliances volontaires ou involontaires contractés avec les esprits des eaux. ( que j'ai moi même faite ou mes ancêtres ont fait )

☑️Pardonnes moi dans ta grande miséricorde et que ta grâce surabonde dans ma vie.

❗️Ta parole declare Seigneur JESUS CHRIST qu'il n'ya pas de pardon sans effusion de sang

👉 Lave moi dans ton Sang et purifie moi, sanctifie moi et justifie moi totalement de tout péché.

🔥👉2. JE PLAIDE LE SANG DE JESUS CHRIST COMME COUVERTURE SPIRITUELLE - POUR LA PROTECTION sur ma vie, mes enfants, mes proches et tout ce que j'ai.

🔥⛔️3. Je renonce à toutes alliances avec les esprits des eaux.( faite par moi ou mes ancêtres )

👉 Je brise ces alliances avec les esprits des eaux sur ma vie par la puissance du Sang je JESUS CHRIST.

👉PERE CELESTE PROCLAME LE DIVORCE AVEC TOUT MARI ESPRIT des eaux PAR LE SANG DE JESUS CHRIST.

👉🔥4. ETERNEL mon DIEU Delivre moi de toute

☑️Possessions

☑️Obsessions

☑️Oppressions des maris / femmes esprit des eaux

AU NOM PUISSANT DE JESUS CHRIST DE NAZARETH SAINT ESPRIT DELIVRE MOI PAR LE SANG DE JESUS CHRIST de l'emprise de Satan, des demons et des esprits maléfiques qui m'oppressent et qui sont entrés dans ma vie par ces alliances.

🔥👉5. PERE CELESTE, délivre moi par le sang de Jesus Christ du pouvoir du Leviathan ainsi tous les esprits marins, au nom de Jesus Christ

Delivre moi par le sang de Jesus Christ de ces esprits qui œuvrent contre ma vie pour me détruire.

Libère moi totalement ce matin par la puissance du Sang de Jesus Christ.

Je le demande au nom de Jesus Christ.

🔥👉6. Je prend ma place d'autorité en tant que FILS DE DIEU et co-heritier du trône de la grâce

Je commande que tous projets de l'ennemi sur ma vie par la sorcellerie maritime, la sorcellerie domestique, la sorcellerie des forêts et toutes formes de sorcelleries

soit annulés par le feu dévorant du Saint Esprit.

☑️Les projets d échec- annulés par le feu

☑️Les projets de pauvreté- annulés par le feu

☑️Les projets de stagnation - et de stérilité annulés

☑️Les projets limitations - et proscratination annulés par le feu

☑️Les projets de maladie - annulés ....

☑️et de mort et de l'esprit de mort précoce- annulés par le feu.. dévorant du Saint Esprit

(Annule les projets cite les par leur noms )

🔥👉 7. Je confesse que JE SUIS FILS DE DIEU co-heritier avec CHRIST du Trone de la grace JE PROCLAME QUE TOUT VA BIEN

A cause de cela, J'ai la victoire sur mes ennemis. JE PROSPERE DANS TOUS LES DOMAINES.

Et je me cache dans le Sang précieux de JÉSUS CHRIST DE NAZARETH pour la protection.

🙏 C est au nom puissant de Jesus Christ de Nazareth nous avons prié.

Amen !!!!!

➡️Si vous avez un sujet ou une requête de prière, dite le nous et nous prierons pour vous 🙏

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[galit27]

Playlist

Insane, inside the danger gets me high Can't help myself got secrets I cant tell I love the smell of gasoline I light the match to taste the heat I've always liked to play with fire _Play with fire_

I won't soothe your pain

I won't ease your strain

You'll be waiting in vain

I got nothing for you to gain

Eyes on fire

Your spine is ablaze

Felling any foe with my gaze _Eyes on fire_

Control

Halsey

They send me away to find them a fortune A chest filled with diamonds and gold The house was awake, the shadows and monsters The hallways, they echoed and groaned

I sat alone, in bed till the morning I'm crying, "They're coming for me" And I tried to hold these secrets inside me My mind's like a deadly disease

I'm bigger than my body I'm colder than this home I'm meaner than my demons I'm bigger than these bones

And all the kids cried out, "Please stop, you're scaring me" I can't help this awful energy God damn right, you should be scared of me Who is in control?

I paced around for hours on empty I jumped at the slightest of sounds And I couldn't stand the person inside me I turned all the mirrors around

Song for a dream_Indochine

Tombera les croix Mon rêve réussira Tombera le diables Les dieux n’existent pas

Attaque mes rêves ou détruis les âmes On sera un rêve incroyable C’est juste ma vie, c’est juste mon âme On sera un rêve idéal Tu seras un rêve idéal

On m’avait dit Que toutes mes peurs disparaîtraient Et moi la nuit Je rêvai d’une vie incroyable

Mauvaise fille de bonne famille_Anais Delva _ Dracula l'amour plus fort que la mort

Aimez moi comme je suis Aimez moi comme si J'avais fait autre chose

Que vivre en overdose La vie en rose C'est pas pour moi Moi j'ai fait n'importe quoi

Ici cette nuit Je suis la même A tous ceux qui m'aime Je veux qu'ils se souviennent Leur mauvaise fille de bonne famille

Mauvaise fille de bonne famille

[juliettemanciniart]

Ma jumelle me montre une photo de toi,

On dirait une mise en abime

Deux narcisses qui se renvoie à l’infinie leur propre images

Mon âme sœur, mon ange, mon demon

Je suis de ta conscience le simple mime

Je ne fais que te montrer ton anatomique âge

Donne moi l’heure, ta mésange flotte dans le firmament

Monte le son, redonne à la nature

Ses couleurs et sa raison

Seule toi me fait sortir de la mort

Et de mon corps étriqué par des bandages

Appuies sur la corde avec ton pouce

Fais sonner les violons de l’annonciation

J’attends que tous se poussent devant toi

Mais tu retiens bien trop l’attention

Tu es le portrait que je désire, de mon cendrier le toit.

Quand tu souris je souris à travers la fumée

Ce parfum de tristesse et de ballerine que mille fois j’ai humé.

[goatylover]

Comme une exquise rage dentaire Dont la douleur devient constante Tant la noirceur se veut pulpaire Avant que la mort ne soit permanente Arracher cette graine de malheur Qui autrefois était part d'un sourire Ce qui fut ne pourra revenir Là s'exulte ma Peine en ces heures Mais puisque tu t'es voulu vers Grignotant ma dent comme mon cœur Je tente en vain de calmer ma Peur Elle tombera, comme tout est éphémère Il faut y voir un droit de passage sûrement Le faune perdant ses dents de lait ? Elle était mure et ne devait tomber Une telle candeur fit de moi un enfant Prend donc ce morceau de moi Qui se fendit et finit par se défaire Je garderai sa loge en place mortuaire À défaut de garder une dent contre toi... Candle cove... Ode à la Dent Ragée #tooth #dent #dentaire #satyre #satyr #demon #painfull #hard #gore #blood #dark #drawing #monster #candle #candlecove #channelzero #💀

[galulana]

✨Jour 08 ↪️#GaluMusicMarch2021 🎵Wake the White Wolf🎵 La guerre mène à la guerre. Et celle-ci est la mienne. Les morts réclament vengeance. 🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠🌠 N'oubliez pas, les dessinateurs, vous pouvez utiliser ma liste et participer à mon #GaluMusicMarch2021 Oh ! Et oubliez pas de me @ et de mettre le # ! Je suis curieuse de voir votre travail ! Hihi 🌠 Commenter, liker et partager me permettra de toucher plus de gens avec mon aventure ! 🤜🤛✨ #TheWitcher #WakeTheWhiteWolf #march #drawingoftheday #drawing #illustration #drawingchallenge #illustrator #photoshop #clipstudiopaint #art #digitalart #music #musicillustration #artist #frenchgirl #france #evil #green #red #blood #sword #fire #demon #devil #hate #war #hero #vengeance https://www.instagram.com/p/CMLLPCXDjsZ/?igshid=m1bnvxn8zvgt

[lamb-of-wrath]

i'm writing agathario shadow/tendril sex and rio is just an utterly confused mess of shadowy tendrils and she keeps touching agatha after realising she can do that and keeps asking questions but agatha is unable to explain because she just keeps moaning and rio doesn't even realise she is edging her "rio i'm going to come" "come where?" "keep going, i'm going to-" "you are going again? to the same place?" "ORGASM IS NOT A PLACE RIO" djmskandksaj someone sedate me

[kinja145]

I wrote some months ago a part without any context for my KrisxCiel AU, in which there has been some big battle or something and Kris wants to become a demon because he doesn’t want to be ‘weak’ anymore It’s in French tho, I couldn’t bring myself to translate it, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to give off the same vibe it has in french honestly (you english folks just google translate it or something, I’m sorry)

- Kristopherson, as-tu la moindre idée de ce que ta requête implique ? Demanda Ciel, regardant le faux-blond droit dans les yeux.

Kristopherson voulut répondre, il voulut affirmer à Ciel que oui, il était conscient des risques et des conséquences. Qu'il était parfaitement conscient de ce que cela signifiait. Mais, les mots lui manquèrent alors qu'ils s'épousaient du regard. Le faux-blond vit à cet instant dans l'oeil de Ciel qu'il ne s'agissait pas d'une simple question anodine, bien que quelque peu rhétorique. Ciel semblait craintif, inquiet, remonté contre lui. Mais il semblait également à la fois mélancolique et soucieux. Ce simple regard, ce simple échange silencieux, suffit à faire vaciller Kristopherson. Lui qui avait été si sûr, prêt à tout abandonner pour Ciel, il en venait à douter.

Constatant cela, Ciel se rapprocha de celui qu'il aimait, posant une main sur sa joue avant de reprendre.

- Vois-tu, il n'y a rien de bon à perdre son humanité. Peu importe l'image que les films et les livres en ont fait, il n'y a rien de bon à se perdre soi-même, dit-il doucement. Depuis ma renaissance, depuis que j'ai dépassé tout entendement en devenant une créature de l'ombre, je n'ai cessé d'avoir peur. C'est une lutte sans cesse. Une lutte contre soi. Une lutte pour soi. Il n'y a rien de plus effrayant que de ne plus savoir qui l'on est. J'ai dû quitter les dernières personnes qui m'étaient chères. Je n'y ai pas été forcé, il est vrai, j'en ai fait le choix. Devenu démon, devenu immortel, libéré de la seule chose qui me poussait encore à vivre en ce temps là, je me suis senti pousser des ailes. Mais la réalité m'a bien vite rattrapé. Je n'étais pas libre. Je n'ai pas été libéré, j'ai été enchaîné. Maudit à jamais. La mort aurait au moins mis fin à mes souffrances, ç'aurait été la parfaite conclusion. Mais ça… je suis condamné à errer durant l'Eternité, piégé par mon propre passé. Oublier serait une véritable délivrance, mais cela signifierait surtout que j'aurais succombé. Ma plus grande peur se réaliserait alors ; je ne serais plus moi. Je ne serais alors qu'un autre démon sans identité, dont le seul but est de dévorer des âmes pour combler une insaisissable faim.

Le bleuté s'arrêta un instant, fermant les yeux tout en inspirant légèrement. Kristopherson n'osait dire un mot. Il buvait les paroles du bleuté, il s'en imprégnait.

- Depuis plus d'un siècle maintenant, reprit Ciel, je me bats constamment contre moi-même. Si tu savais, toutes ces nuits sans sommeil que j'ai passé, en ayant pour seul compagne mes pensées. Je vis constamment dans la peur, bien que ce ne soit pas exactement une sensation que tu éprouverais. C'est différent. C'est une peur qui m'habite, une peur qui est là depuis si longtemps qu'elle fait partie de moi. Je suis terrifié à l'idée de perdre ce qu'il me reste de moi, Kris. Je suis horrifié en voyant mon humanité filer entre mes doigts sans que je puisse l'attraper. J'ai l'impression de pouvoir seulement l'effleurer. Chaque fois que je me transforme, chaque fois que je me sers de mes pouvoirs, je me sens partir. Tu n'en as pas été témoin ce jour-là, inconscient comme tu l'étais mais j'ai failli disparaître. Je me suis senti comme happé par une force inexplicable. J'avais l'impression de ne plus contrôler mon corps, je n'étais que spectateur. Je me sentais partir, ce que je redoutais le plus était en train de se produire, et pourtant je n'ai ressenti aucune peur. La seule chose qui m'importait, c'était toi. Je n'avais qu'une chose en tête ; faire payer à ceux qui t'avaient blessé. Tu es celui qui m'a ramené à la vie, lorsque j'ai posé les yeux sur toi, je me suis senti revenir à moi-même. Et quel soulagement cela a-t-il été quand j'ai réalisé que tu étais toujours en vie. J'avais vraiment cru te perdre à ce moment-là. C'aurait été pire que de me perdre moi. Je ne m'en serais jamais remis.

[livyantonelli-blog]

We had all arrived at Emilien's, our father, at the beginning Lealys  ( @lealysgrimm ) was surprised, 'he had rejuvenated. I did not understand anything about our life, our world, since the opening of the portal, everything seemed to change. Another strange fact is that when we arrived, Emilien was surprised to see Hardin, he had a recoil, as he knew him ...

L: why did you rejuvenate? Liv opened a portal, she saw Nymphea !, I find a dragon, what is it? what happened, why us? why you?

E: softly lealys, gently one question at a time, I can not tell you everything like that. So you're Livy, my last daughter?

Li: Yes, I did not want to come to see you, I have nothing to do with you, a father who abandoned me, does not deserve to be interfered with but since our trip to Dragon Valley ...

E: Dragon valley, so that's the reason for my rejuvenation! So it's you Livy who opened the portal? and so lealys you are the guardian of the dragons among others!

Liv: but why me? what are we?

Em: I'll tell you my story, you must know now what you are!

It was a long time ago, long before the creation of the worlds, everything was a battle between darkness and light, between good and evil, angels and demons, between the gods themselves. At a moment of respite the gods each created a world in their image, a world of peace and harmony for one, a world of pain and destruction for the other. The angels were sent in the first, the demons in the second, to fulfill their role of guardians, in a second time, the first men were created also, the angels took possession of their daughters and gave birth to a new species. The fallen angels were destroyed, their offspring with the humans had immense powers, and such power can not be lost, with my fellow men we were sent to the angels under their watch. The world of humans evolved, gradually forgetting our lives. This is where I come with mine, we are nephilims ...

L: nephilim! I know that word, I dreamed of it!

E: Did you dream of a nephilim?

Lealys: no something or someone was looking for a nephilim

E: Do not trust this angel, he is responsible for killing the nephilim who does not respect their laws, so me in this case

Liv: And what happened then?

E yes so I am a nephilim, I am the first to have crossed the gate that separates our two worlds, but the magic of my world to cross too, bringing with it the creatures that populate your world now, .... wizard, vampire, fairy, werewolves ... the dragons also at the time populated this world, but now, humans no longer have a chance against all this magic, also to punish me for having crossed the portal, my first daughter Nymphea was sentenced to stay in the old world to watch over the gate that it remains closed, the creatures already present have to continue to exist according to their own rules, the dragons died without dragon to protect them , they have killed each other! After several years wandering yes yes I met your mothers, and then you know it!

********************************

Nous étions tous arrivé chez Emilien, notre père, au début Lealys est surpris, 'il avait rajeuni. Je ne comprenais plus rien à notre vie, notre monde, depuis l'ouverture du portail, tout semblait se changer. Un autre fait étrange, c'est qu'à notre arrivée, Emilien fut surpris de voir Hardin, il eu un mouvement de recul, comme ci il le connaissait...

L : pourquoi tu as rajeuni? Liv a ouvert un portail, elle a vu Nymphea!, j'ai trouver un dragon, on est quoi? que s'est-il passé, pourquoi nous? pourquoi toi?

E : doucement lealys, doucement une question à la fois, je ne peux tout te dire comme ca. Donc tu es Livy ma dernière fille?

Li : Oui, je ne voulais pas venir te voir, je n'ai rien a faire de toi, un père qui m'a abandonné, ne mérite pas que je m'y interresse mais depuis notre voyage a dragon valley ...

E: Dragon valley, c'est donc ca, voilà le pourquoi de mon rajeunissement! Donc c'est toi Livy qui a ouvert le portail? et donc lealys tu es la gardienne des dragons entre autre!

Liv: mais pourquoi moi? que sommes nous?

Em: Je vais vous raconter mon histoire, vous devez savoir à présent ce que vous êtes!

C'était il y a bien longtemps, bien avant la création des mondes, tout était un combat entre les ténèbres et la lumière, entre le bien et le mal, les anges et les démons, entre les dieux eux mêmes. Lors d'un moment de répit les dieux créèrent chacun un monde à leur image, un monde de paix et d'harmonie pour l'un, un monde de douleurs et de destruction pour l'autre. Les anges furent envoyer dans le premier, les démons dans le second, afin d'y tenir leur rôle de gardiens, dans un second temps, les premiers hommes furent créer également, les anges prirent possession de leur filles et donnèrent ainsi naissance à une nouvelle espèce. Les anges devenus déchus furent détruits, leur progéniture avec les humains avaient des pouvoirs immenses, et un tel pouvoir ne peux se perdre, avec mes semblables nous furent envoyer chez les anges sous leur surveillance. Le monde des humains évolua en oubliant peu à peu nos existences. C'est de là que je viens avec les miens, nous sommes des néphilims...

L: nephilim! je connais ce mot, j'en ai rêvé !

E : tu as rêvé d'un nephilim?

Le: non quelque chose ou quelqu'un cherchait un nephilim

E : Ne fais pas confiance à cet ange, il est charger de tuer les nephilim qui ne respecte pas leur lois, donc moi en l'occurence

Liv: Et que s'est-il passé alors?

E : oui donc je suis un nephilim, je suis le premier a avoir franchi le portail qui sépare nos deux mondes, mais la magie de mon monde a traverser également, amenant avec elle les créatures qui peuplent à présent votre monde,.... les sorcier, les vampire, les fée, loups-garous... les dragons aussi à l'époque peuplait ce monde, mais voilà, les humains n'avaient plus leur chance face à toute cette magie, aussi pour me punir d'avoir franchit le portail, ma première fille Nymphea fut condamné à rester dans l'ancien monde à veiller sur le portail qu'il reste fermé, les créatures déjà présente ont continuer d'exister selon leur propres règles, les dragons sont mort sans dragonnier pour les protéger, ils se sont entretuer! Après plusieurs années à errer oui effectivement j'ai rencontré vos mères, et la suite vous la connaissez!

[christophe76460]

Eph. 6/10...Au reste FORTIFIEZ vous Dans le SEIGNEUR et Par Sa FORCE Toute Puissante.

REVETEZ Vous de Toutes les Armes de DIEU !!! afin de Pouvoir TENIR Ferme CONTRE les ruses du diable.

Car nous n'Avons PAS à Lutter contre la chair et le sang mais CONTRE Satan lui méme au travers des dominations, Contre les autorités, Contre les princes de ce monde DEMONIAQUE, Contre les esprits de DEMONS dans les lieux célestes et sur terre.

C'est Pourquoi !!! PRENEZ Toutes les ARMES de DIEU , afin de POUVOIR Résister dans les mauvais jours et TENIR Ferme après avoir tout SURMONTE..

Par les eaux du Baptème de Repentance Vous AVEZ REVETU CHRIST dans Toute Son ARMURE en Plénitude ,vous Rendant INVINCIBLE !

Veillez et FAITES en tout temps Par l'ESPRIT toutes sortes de Prières et de supplications AVEC une entière PERSEVERANCE !!!

Ce que vous Voyez actuellement sur la terre d'ISRAEL n'est PAS un Combat contre la chair et le sang ,méme si les choses naturelles disent le contraire. Mais c'EST une GUERRE dans les lieux célestes CONTRE satan lui méme et son armée de démons qui AGISSENT au Travers d'hommes Pervers et corromputs pour jetter la Terreur.

JESUS lui méme alors qu'on le crucifiait DISAIT/ PERE Pardonne leur, car ils ne savent PAS que c'est les démons qui les ANIMENT . Il démontrait alors qu'il combattait NON contre les hommes possédés de démons qui agissaient au travers d'eux à leur IGNORANCE de satan.

Il est ECRIT/ Quand on te demandera POURQUOI Toutes ces choses leur sont ARRIVES ??? , Tu REPONDRAS / Parce qu'ils m'ont abandonné ET Rejetté ! MOI la source de la VIE qui les avait AIME . Je leur avait ENVOYE mon Fils bien aimé mais ils l'ont REJETTE et MEPRISE pour le mettre à Mort. C'est Pourquoi satan AVAIT un Droit de les détruire en DEHORS de ma Protection ,jusqu'au JOUR ou dans leurs DETRESSES ! Ils CRIERONT à Moi de tout leur Coeur dans la REPENTANCE et les larmes et RECONNAITRONT Celui qu'ils ont PERCE !!!

Pourtant j'Avais des Projets de Paix et non de Malheur à leur DONNER afin de leur pouvoir à un AVENIR et de l'ESPERANCE..

Quand une Brebis est Rebelle ,le Berger lui casse une patte NON pour la Punir mais afin de pensser sa Patte ,pour qu'elle ne s'appuie PLUS sur sa Folie,et il la MET sur ses épaules pour qu'elle s'habitue à le CONNAITRE dans son AMOUR et qu' ELLE s'appuie ENFIN non plus sur elle méme mais sur SON DIEU et ETRE sous sa Protection LOIN du PREDATEUR de son Ame et de sa VIE..

FORTIFIEZ Vous et ayez du Courage, ne Craignez PAS ne soyez Pas EFFRAYER car l'ETERNEL Ton DIEU Marchera lui méme AVEC Toi . Il ne te délaissera Pas et ne t'Abandonnera Pas !!! C'est LUI qui COMBATTRA Pour toi et ANEANTIRA Tous tes ennemis pour les mettre sous tes pieds en marche pieds. REJOUIS Toi et Sois dans l'Allégresse !! Bon COURAGE Je SUIS à tes Cotés et RIEN ne t'épouvantera DEVANT satan et ses démons ! DOMINE les. !!!

AMEN.......!

[juliet-7]

Ghost companion.

“And being very tired and having nothing inside him, he felt so sorry for himself that the tears rolled down his cheeks. What put a stop to all of this was a sudden fright. Shasta discovered that someone or somebody was walking beside him. It was pitch dark and he could see nothing. And the thing (or person) was going so quietly that he could hardly hear any footfalls. What he could hear was breathing. His invisible companion seemed to breathe on a very large scale, and Shasta got the impression that it was a very large creature. And he had come to notice this breathing so gradually that he had really no idea how long it had been there. It was a horrible shock.

It darted into his mind that he had heard long ago that there were giants in these Northern countries. He bit his lip in terror. But now that he really had something to cry about, he stopped crying. The Thing (unless it was a person) went on beside him so very quietly that Shasta began to hope that he had only imagined it. But just as he was becoming quite sure of it, there suddenly came a deep, rich sigh out of the darkness beside him. That couldn’t be imagination! Anyway, he has felt the hot breath of that sigh on his chilly left hand. So he went on at a walking pace and the unseen companion walked and breathed beside him. At last he could bear it no longer. “Who are you?” he said, barely above a whisper. “One who has waited long for you to speak,” said the Thing. Its voice was not loud, but very large and deep. “Are you – are you a giant?” asked Shasta. “You might call me a giant,” said the Large Voice. “But I am not like the creatures you call giants.” “I can’t see you at all,” said Shasta, after staring very hard. Then (for an even more terrible idea had come into his head) he said, almost in a scream, “You’re not – not something dead, are you? Oh please – please do go away. What harm have I ever done you? Oh, I am the unluckiest person in the whole world.” Once more he felt the warm breath of the Thing on his hand and face. “There,” it said, “that is not the breath of a ghost. Tell me your sorrows.” Shasta was a little reassured by the breath: so he told how he had never known his real father or mother and had been brought up sternly by the fisherman. and then he told the story of his escape and how they were chased by lions and forced to swim for their lives; and of all their dangers in Tashbaan and about his night among the Tombs and how the beasts howled at him out of the desert. And he told about the heat and thirst of their desert journey and how they were almost at their goal when another lion chased them and wounded Aravis. And also, how very long it was since had had anything to eat. “I do not call you unfortunate,” said the Large Voice. “Don’t you think it was bad luck to meet so many lions?” said Shasta. “There was only one lion.” said the Voice. “What on earth do you mean? I’ve just told you there were at least two lions the first night, and -” “There was only one, but he was swift of foot.” “How do you know?” “I was the lion.” And as Shasta gaped with open mouth and said nothing, the Voice continued. “I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you as you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.” The mist was turning from black to grey and from grey to white. This must have begun to happen some time ago, but while he had been talking to the Thing he had not been noticing anything else. Now, the whiteness around him became a shining whiteness; his eyes began to blink. Somewhere ahead he heard birds singing. He knew the night was over at last. 

A golden light fell on them from the left. He thought it was the sun. He turned and saw, pacing beside him, taller than a horse, a Lion. The horse did not seem to be afraid of it or else could not see it. It was from the lion that the light came. No one ever saw anything more terrible or more beautiful. Shasta had lived all of his life too far south in Calormen to have heard the tales that were whispered in Tashbaan about a dreadful Narnian demon that appeared in the form of a lion. And of course he knew none of the true stories about Aslan, the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-over-sea, the King above all High Kings in Narnia. But after one glance at the Lion’s face he slipped out of the saddle and fell at its feet. He couldn’t say anything but then he didn’t want to say anything, and he knew he needn’t say anything.” —C.S. Lewis, The Horse And His Boy

À l'aéroport, j'ai demandé au chauffeur s'il pensait que je pouvais atteindre Blotzheim à pieds.

Il m'a regardée bizarre.

J'ai croisé une fille qui m'a dit : “Ouais ouais c'est pas loin, en dix minutes vous y êtes !” Alors j'ai marché au bord de la route, dans ces galets merdiques qui font perdre l'équilibre, comme quand t'essayes de courir dans le sable. 

Au début je me sentais comme Bilbon qui part à l'aventure, toute excitée ; j'aime bien aller à des endroits où je suis jamais allée. Mais au bout d'une heure, quand la nuit est tombée, que j'avais mal au dos, mal au cou, mal aux pieds, j’ai commencé à sérieusement me demander si l'espace-temps était biaisé sur la route qui mène à Blotzheim. J'avais plus de batterie sur mon téléphone. J'ai pensé à Emy. J'ai pensé à ma vie. J'ai pensé à ma vie d'avant. Quand je voulais être missionnaire. Je me suis demandé si tout ce que je vivais, c'était pour un jour où je serais au fin fond de l'Inde ; si les galets d'aujourd'hui étaient une préparation pour un sol de plus tard. J'ai pensé à Moïse. Je me suis demandé s'il s'était senti pareil, avec ses brebis et ses sandales dans le désert. S'il s’était demandé si c'était pour quelque chose d'autre, ou si ce serait les cailloux toute sa vie. S'il s'était demandé où était Dieu, qu'est-ce qu'il foutait, pourquoi il ne faisait rien.

J'ai pensé à Jésus. 

Je me suis dit qu'il allait d'un endroit à un autre sans jamais avoir de maison. Qu’il marchait aussi pendant des heures et des heures. Qu’il était aussi fatigué. Affamé. Solitaire. “Les renard ont des tanières et les oiseaux du ciel ont des nids, mais le Fils de l'homme n'a pas un endroit où reposer sa tête.” Je me suis sentie différemment tout à coup. Comme si j'ouvrais les yeux, pour voir qu’il marchait avec moi ; comme Shasta. Lui, il me voyait, et il comprenait ce que je ressens. Il savait. Il marchait avec moi. J'étais plus en mode “j’suis seule au milieu de nulle part, coupée du monde et au bout de ma vie.” 

Je me suis sentie comme si j’étais exactement au bon endroit, comme je ne l'avais plus été depuis mille ans.

Peut-être qu’il fallait que je me retrouve complètement seule, au bout de mes forces, paumée au milieu de la campagne, en bord de route, comme une outcast, pour que je me demande enfin : “En fait, c'est quoi ma vie ?”

Je me suis demandé : “Qu'est-ce que je fais ici, dans les chardons, au bord d'une route, right here, right now ? Pourquoi je suis là, à valdinguer entre villes et villages, pourquoi est-ce que je m'use dans une salle de classe et sur des copies d'écriture ? Pour les enfants ? Pour moi ? Pour Toi ? “Pour Ton royaume” ? Pourquoi je fais ça ? J'ai même pas su trouver de réponse. 

Pour rien. 

Tout ce que je sais c'est que je fais ça. Et que je suis là. Et je sais pas pourquoi.

Mais je me suis rendu compte que j'en avais rien à faire. At the end of the day, all I longed for was to walk sur le bord de la route avec Jésus. Peu importe ma vie, du moment que c'est avec le Seigneur que je marche. C'est des mots bateaux, mais ça faisait tellement longtemps que je ne m'étais pas retrouvée avec Lui comme ça. Que j'avais pas ressenti combien cette présence me manque et comble tous les épuisements de mon âme.

Quand je suis enfin arrivée à Blotzheim, dans une rue, sur le trottoir devant moi à quelques mètres, il y avait un chat qui me regardait. J'ai pas beaucoup d'amour pour les chats. Mais celui-là, il n’est pas parti quand je me suis rapprochée. Il restait là, comme s'il m'avait attendue. Je l'ai regardé, et je me suis accroupie. Il a frotté sa tête dans ma main. Il me regardait, et poussait ma main, et appuyait sa tête contre ma jambe, et puis me regardait, et puis frottait sa tête contre ma joue. À son contact, je me suis rendu compte que c’était la première fois depuis des lustres qu’on me faisait un câlin. J'ai enfoui mon visage dans sa fourrure, et j'ai pleuré, comme une débile, comme si c’était Dieu qui me caressait le visage.

Sur ce trottoir, un souvenir m'est revenu ; j'étais ado et j'étais aussi en train de pleurer par terre, sur le carrelage de la salle de bain, pendant une période maëlstrom. Le chat avait débarqué pour venir se frotter contre moi. Et au milieu de mes larmes et de mon coeur d'ado ballotté par l’orage, j'ai pensé à Aslan. “J'étais le chat qui t'a rassuré au milieu des maisons des morts. J'étais le Lion qui a éloigné de toi les chacals pendant que tu dormais. J'étais le Lion qui a donné aux chevaux effrayés l'énergie du désespoir pour le dernier kilomètre afin que vous puissiez arriver à temps auprès du roi Lune. Et j'étais le Lion dont tu ne te souviens pas et qui a poussé le bateau dans lequel tu étais couché, enfant à demi-mort, pour qu'il s'échoue sur le rivage où un homme était assis, éveillé à minuit, pour t'accueillir.” 

Sur le bord de cette route, je me suis enfin sentie rentrer à la maison. Sauf que c'était pas Blotz. C'était Toi, Amour.

[kurookami-no-kuraitsuki]

On a rendu notre MJ fou... Et pour une fois, c'était pas ma faute

Donc, je joue un voleur Thiefling, neutre chaotic. Juste là pour l'argent. Et complétement kleptomane. Ensuite, on a un demi-elfe mage, neutre, toujours intéressé par plus de connaissance. Personnage classiques pour nous deux. Un demi-orc Warlock, chaotic neutre. Pareil, il joue toujours un demi-orc, et on est les deux un peu trop chaotic du groupe. Et enfin un paladin humain, tellement banal qu'on a pas vraiment lu sa description. Oh, mais on aurait dû !

Donc, on commence notre campagne. On arrive dans un village, Lotherick, où de nombreuses disparitions se passent. On commence notre enquête. Histoire courte, les coupables sont un culte démoniaque. On localise leur base, et je l'infiltre. Sur le chemin, je tue les cultistes et cache leur corps, laissant le champs libre au reste du groupe derrière moi. J'arrive dans les cellules, dans les souterrains, où sont enfermé les villageois. Plus grande récompense si on les sauve. Mais ! Notre Paladin, qui nous a toujours pas dit qu'elle dieu il sert, tombe sur la salle de culte. Avec l'autel à Molag Bahal, dieu des morts-vivants, nécromancie et esclavage des âmes. Et il devient fou, commencer à brûler la salle pour ce débarrasser des impies. Avec l'aide du Warlock, partenaire de Kresnik, un demon de l'Inferno, la Flamme de l'Anarchie. Mon personnage n'est pas au courant de ça, et notre MJ est désespèré. Mon tour. Je presse les villageois en haut. Seulement pour que notre Paladin les massacre dans sa folie meurtrière. Il est un Paladin.... Du dieu démoniaque Svarog'Nelath. Et ils sont teintés du pouvoir "d'une pâle copie de son seigneur, tentant en vain d'atteindre la splendeur de son éternel perfection". Et bien sûr que le chef cultiste se ramène à ce moment. Un Nécromancien, et des squelette et zombie,qui commence a se plaindre qu'il ne peut tourner les villageois en haut morts-vivants, ou "Une existence supérieur béni par notre seigneur". Le mage décide de se barrer chercher la bibliothèque et tomes magique avant que tout brûle. Le paladin se jette sur le nécromancien, igborant les morts-vivants, le Warlock se laisse posséder par son demon, devenant une abomination de feu. Le combat est rapide.

La pièce est en feu, notre Paladin continue sa tirade sur les hérétiques, notre Warlock est une abomination, notre mage manquant et je decide de looter la pièce. Quand en doute, looter. Je récupére un anneau de l'ombre, me permettant d'appeler une âme lié au plan de l'ombre. Pas de nom, ne peut interagir avec le monde physique, mais parfait pour de la reconnaissance. On sort. Notre mage est un peu grillé, ayant raté un jet de sauvegarde. On est payé une misère à cause des dommage collatéraux. Même si j'ai réussi a rejeter la faute du massacre de villageois sur les cultistes... Plus ou moins vrai, juste un Paladin cultiste. Je vend les trucs brillant que j'ai récupérer, 50 pour moi, 50 pour eux.

Le mage est plus ou moins normal, et n'est-ce pas triste que le kleptomane demi-demon soit le plus normal du groupe. Notre MJ veut tuer le duo démoniaque. Le reste de la campagne va être... Intéressante.

[alexlecoq-blog]

I'm already a demon. The Big boss - alias Snake. Il se tient, hiératique, vestige titan d'une puissance grecque morte, soufflée et oubliée. Les racines de son bandana laissent émerger une cité nucléaire plongée dans le chaos : le premier démon, celui de la Réalité, disséminée dans les feux, les tours émiétées de nos civilisations, une masse noire indicible qui obscurcit le champ de vision - si tant est qu'on puisse se forcer à les ouvrir dans l'acide, et y voir, enfin, le vrai monde et ses ambivalences. Lui, l'a fait. Il l'a fait, et dès lors il comprit qu'il devait imposer sa vision au monde, pour donner vie à ses intentions, à son combat, au flux de sang. L'oeil est mort, voilé et drapé, mais la vue se dilate et dépasse les frontières : oui, il peut voir. Et son champ de vision couvre l'ensemble des degrés-terres. Il se tient droit, à regarder, le métal planté en plein front, les cheveux au vent, la barbe et la moustache dérobant à la vue les marques de sa prise de position - autant de souvenirs carnassiers. Il a sa propre position, et n'a que faire du reste : il balaie d'un revers de main perdue les uns et les autres, car les uns sont virus pour les autres quand les autres sont la peste noire pour les uns. Aujourd'hui, je suis couronné, couvert d'étoiles et couvert d'honneur. Demain je serai criblé des flèches des enfants de la génération morte, si ce n'est des enfants des mains même qui m'ont remis ces étoiles. … L'ennemi de l'un est le héros d'un autre. Alors je me tiens, je me tiens droit et je combats seul. Je brûle, je brûle des terres mises à feu, je brûle des cheminées noires au-delà des grilles, et je brûle de l'intérieur. Je suis incandescent car j'ai trempé mes mains, mes bras, enfin mon corps dans le pétrole de notre monde. Le pétrole de la corruption. I'm already a démon. J'ai brisé ma main en brisant mon pan de mur de frontière, et ma descente aux enfers est le glorieux écho de la bataille qui est ma vie. Cette bataille me brûle, et atteint les frontières de mon coeur, le pulvérisant à petit feu, le décristallisant morceau après morceau, un coeur sanglant - sanglant ? Je vis ! I'm already a demon. Ce coeur-là même, planté en son mil par des hommes - pas des ennemis, pas des amis : des hommes et des hommes, épousant chacun la cause qui les détermine, aveuglant l'oeil et glissant des héros d'hier en anti-héros de demain. Je vis. Mon coeur saigne ; par-delà les grilles, les cheminées noires, par-delà le pétrole et la lumière artificielle des étoiles brochées, la fumée et les murs des frontières encore debout : un espoir. Des lignes de points dans le ciel. Je fais jouer lentement les articulations mécaniques de mon bras droit. Mes phalanges soutiennent, en dépit du sang qui s'écoule, mon champ lexical. Jusqu'au bout. Celui du souvenir des morts, des douilles fertilisant les terres du monde de demain, des larmes s'écoulant sur les joues des Hommes, et du sang de la vengeance qui sera versé. Un champ lexical versé aux Enfants, legs unique, héritage de la conscience et de la révolution. I'm already a demon.

[wolfgangamaderik]

Au clair de la Lune

   Geneviéve was walking up and down in the salon, nervously cracking her fingers. She sent worried glances towards the window, trying to notice the Doctor before he reached the terrace. Will he arrive there ever? Why won’t he come? Maybe he won’t want to come here and examine the thing? That poor thing, that… God’s creature.

The boy was ill. Very ill.

She hated him usually, but couldn’t bear to see him in that condition. At first, she thought she will be able to cure him, by putting wet cloth on his forehead and ordering him to stay in bed. But nothing helped. His condition got worse and worse. His fever didn’t break, he coughed, his eyes were turning red instead of yellow and some kind of rash appeared all over his body. No, it wasn’t smallpox. He got that last year. This damned kid is always sick. He was nearly 5 years old and every damned month of the winter and fall he got some kind of infection. Either he has some nasal infection… God he doesn’t even have a nose! Or the worst part is when he catches some kind of children’s disease. How does he catch them at all, he doesn’t go play with others? How could he? What a normal child would WANT to play with the thing? They would most certainly run away from him screaming for help, just as every normal person would. She would do it as well if some feeling she can’t name wouldn’t keep her here, chained to this little corpse forever.

-          Mo… Mother! – That indescribably angelic child voice urgently called to her.

He was nearly 4 years old when she finally heard a sentence full of sense from him, and only then she could hear what a sweet voice he had. She never thought such an ugly thing could have such a nice sounding voice.

With a deep sigh she hurried back to the bedroom where she left the small monster. He was laying in the large double bed of his parents, so he looked even smaller thinner and more helpless compared to his surroundings.

-          What is it now? – She peeked in.

-          I am not feeling well. – He whined softly, reaching out for her.

-          I know. – She nodded. – You have some kind of illness. I called the Doctor for you.

-          What is a Doctor? – He lifted his head up faintly, with a sudden interest.

-          A person who cures illnesses. He will make you feel better.

-          Will some other person… come to the house? – The boy seemed to be rather surprised upon hearing the news.

-          Yes.

-          And I have to go to the cellar? – His voice sounded sad and worn out at the same time.

-          No, boy, he comes to see you!

-          But you said… No one wanted to see me and no one should.

-          You ask too many questions. Didn’t you say you were sick?

-          I am.  I am very sick, mother. – He nodded and closed his eyes.

-          Sleep then. – She ordered, but a bit of kinder, she added. – That helps.

-          Mother… won’t you please… hold my hand? Please.

-          We have to make sure you are not contagious. – Geneviéve stated. – Then I… might.

-          Mother…

-          I have to feed the animals. – Geneviéve left the room as fast as she could, not looking back at the direction of her praying son.

  He does this thing again. He prays for her touch. Oh but if only he wasn’t so unbearably ugly and cold most of the time… then she would touch him. She would pick him up and cradle him in her arms if he was a child. But this… this… pitiful excuse of a human being… was just too ugly to be held and caressed.

She could hear some nasty coughs and some painful sobs, then a cry for help.

 She did not want to turn around. She took a few steps hurriedly towards the stairs to run downstairs, but the boy cried out again. Was he so sick? God, will he maybe die? Not now, please not now… the doctor didn’t even arrive yet. You can’t die… Last night he nearly died. He started choking in the middle of the night, which is the main reason she picked him up from his own bed and hurried to the master bedroom and lay him in the double bed there to be able to check on his breathing later as the seizure finally stopped. She slept on the couch in the corner for the rest of the night, however there was enough room for her as well, but she did not want to accidentally touch the boy while sleeping. He was thankfully too sick and too much worn out to use the situation and climb out of bed and pester her during the night.

She hurried back to the room where she found the boy choking again.

-          God… breathe… try to breathe, boy!

-          Mother… - He wheezed. – Please…

-          What is that? What do you need?

-          The… mask… please… remove…

Please remove the mask.

The words echoed in her ears for some seconds, and she was staring at the wheezing little thing, struggling for breath, trying his best to stay alive. She knew the mask most certainly made it harder for him to breathe as it covered both his horrible mouth and the lack of his nose. He would make some occasional wheezing from time to time with the mask on, even if he was healthy. But exposing his horrible skull face, especially in such a well – lit room… at broad daylight! As he is ill, his face must be pale and he sure looks even more horrifying than at any other time. But… this is a five year- old seriously ill child, who maybe was at his last gasp… she should make his suffering more bearable. She is his mother, despite everything. At least she could show some compassion and sympathy right at that time.

With trembling hands, she reached out for the small head, and hesitantly put her palm under his neck to lift his head from the pillows a bit. He wasn’t cold. He was hot. With her other hand she slowly slipped the white cloth from the child’s face who took a few deeper breaths as the fabric wasn’t already covering his mouth. She tried to look away as the boy’s face was shown to her, but for some reason, she couldn’t turn her face away from him. Not now.

-          Is it better like this? – She asked softly, after some minutes, when the child was breathing more evenly.

-          Yes… thank you Mother… I knew… you will help me.

-          Oh… I had to.

-          You always help. – He looked at her with such an adoration in his bloodshot yellow eyes that she couldn’t help but smile at him, even if he wasn’t wearing the mask. He did look ugly for sure. But it seemed to matter less.

-          Do you want me to sing a song for you so you will be able to sleep? – Geneviéve asked comfortingly. She knew her son loved music, he was already extremely talented at playing the piano.

-          You… never sang… before… Mother. Can you sing? – He looked up with eagerness and he smiled with those malformed lips of his.

-          I am not a trained singer. – She admitted. – But I liked to sing… before…

-          Before what? – He asked curiously.

Before you were born. She thought to herself, but did not say any other word. She sat down at the edge of the bed, placed her hand on the boy’s burning up forehead to check on his temperature, but after to her biggest surprise she held the boy’s bony skeletal hand. He sighed contently and closed his eyes. The woman started singing an old French children’s song to the boy for the first time in his life. Her nice sounding soprano voice filled up the room as the simple song soothingly lulled the ill boy to sleep.

     Au clair de la lune

   Mon ami Pierrot

   Prête-moi ta plume

   Pour écrire un mot

   Ma chandelle est morte

   Je n'ai plus de feu

   Ouvre-moi ta porte

   Pour l'amour de Dieu

     Au clair de la lune

   Pierrot répondit:

   Je n'ai pas de plume

   Je suis dans mon lit

   Va chez la voisine

   Je crois qu'elle y est

   Car dans sa cuisine

   On bat le briquet

     Au clair de la lune

   L'aimable Lubin

   Frappe chez la brune

   Qui répond soudain

   Qui frapp' de la sorte

   Il dit à son tour

   Ouvrez votre porte

   Au dieu de l'amour

     Au clair de la lune

   On n'y voit qu'un peu

   On chercha la plume

   On chercha du feu

   En cherchant d' la sorte

   Je n' sais c' qu'on trouva

   Mais je sais qu' la porte

   Sur eux se ferma.

  When the boy finally fell asleep, she heard some loud knocks on the front door which, of course, woke the boy up instantly. He startled up and sat up straight in horror, looking at Geneviéve with a confused expression.

-          Now will you take me to the cellar? – He asked. – I can’t get up… I am sleepy…

-          No. Just lay back down. Be quiet and don’t be afraid. It must be the Doctor. I will be right back.

Geneviéve hurried downstairs to answer the door. She heard another loud bangs when she opened it, and saw the village Doctor standing on the doorway.

-          Good afternoon, Doctor… - She started stutteringly. – My son is very ill, and…

-          Is that the monster? – The doctor asked, without even saying “Bonjour”.

-          It is my son. – She repeated drily.

Surprisingly she called the boy a monster most of the time, but it hurt her feelings when the doctor used the exact same word to describe him.

-          What is his problem? – He asked with a hint of disgust in his voice.

-          Follow me and see it for yourself. – She moaned, leading the doctor to the bedroom.

The man did not want to approach the bed within a five feet radius when he saw that monstrous face. It was just a sick child and he was afraid of him like if he was a demon. When he noticed the removed mask on the nightstand, he pointed at it and asked:

-          Is that for… it?

-          Yes, it is. – Geneviéve admitted softly.

-          Maybe if you cover its face it will be easier for me to examine what the problem might be.

-          He started choking when I put it on him the last time… couldn’t you just…

-          It will survive. – The doctor shook his face, indicating he won’t touch the thing without the mask on.

Geneviéve couldn’t blame him. She couldn’t stomach to look at the boy either, how did she expect it from a stranger then? She stepped next to the bed and put the mask back on the nearly unconscious boy’s face, but for the very first time, she was crying and whispered “I am sorry” to him.

The doctor finally walked closer and examined the boy with the least touching possible, then only stated:

-          It’s rubeola. – Then he walked away from the bed, sending a disgusted glance back at the boy.

He briefly told the mother what to do and how to cure the son all by herself. He did not promise he would ever return to check on him, then he left.

Geneviéve sat back on the bedside, and removed the mask away from her son’s face and whispered.

-          I am sorry.

-          You… always… help… - The boy gave a faint smile then softly hummed the melody he heard from his mother for the first time in his life.

As Geneviéve realized what her son was trying to sing, she started silently crying before she rose up from the bed to leave and bring some cool water to finally break the boy’s fever.